#I KEEP DELETING STUFF AND REWRITING AND IM NOT HAPPY WITH IT
tfw you finish reading an angsty 10k fic at 1:30am and you’re left hanging but you get a notification that the author actually just posted a second chapter and it’s another 10 fucking thousand words 😳😳🥴🥴🥺🥺🥺🥵🥵🥵🙌🙌🙌🙌
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Hello peeps! i’ve been thinking for a while and realized that im not really happy with how my blog is organized :/ i also want to seperate my sfw and nsfw content so it can reach the right audiences.
i’ve found that im not really comfortable with having them in the same blog tbh.
soooo i made two seperate blogs!
sfw -> @xpeachymilkteax
nsfw -> @xholodarknightx
I will be keeping track of who follows and interacts with my posts on my nsfw blog so any minors or ageless blogs will be blocked! so make sure you are 18 and above and have your age in your bio if you are planning on following/interacting.
this blog (sunnyasswaffles) will be used as my main blog (bc it is lmfaoo) so i will just reblog stuff, share my thoughts, etc on here. and i won’t be writing requests on this blog specifically anymore.
the requests currently in my inbox i may or may not finish im not too sure. i apologize in advance for those who requested. if you want to request on my new blogs tho, feel free to. <3
im also not sure about keeping my previous writings on here or not. i may repost them to my other blogs or just delete the nsfw ones. im not entirely sure yet.
update: i am only gonna delete my nsfw posts on here, i hate to do it cuz some of them i really liked but im going to rewrite them on my nsfw blog so its okay :)
Anyways, thats all i had to announce! i hope these new changes are something i wont regret later (lol its mercury retrograde) but as of right now im pretty happy with them. let me know what you guys think!
- Ro ❤︎
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ok so um.......... .. . . ..
i had a really bad time, went crazy and deleted all my maurice fics. Yes I have them in my notes and if someone wants them, I can send them to them, but still. i no longer feel confident about You Don’t Own Me and To a Happier Year.
but i feel bad and guilty bc then i remembered someone who left a very nice comment in my fic. maybe ill rewrite everything and publish it again, but not today and certainly not tomorrow. so ill explain my outline for the two fanfics cus i already had a ending in mind
before anything-- do i plan to write more maurice fanfic? the answer is yes. i hyperfixate very hard on maurice so ill never stop, but ill try not to make it public till i trust my bilingual capacities
so, You Don’t Own Me
Percival Darsey is a young man who spend time in Penderleigh’s after having an encounter with Anne in the village next to Penge. He becomes Clive’s pupil bc of Anne’s desire, and so Percival bounces between them (wanting clive’s attention, then wanting anne’s)
Clive doesn’t really care about Percy’s attraction to Anne, bc he was sure it was silly love-at-first sight stuff. It was supposed to be explained later that Percy was really naive when it came to love. I actually had some dialogue written in my phone’s notes app to show how percy views were when it came to love and how easy it was for him to fall in love:
“I can’t do nothing but leave it to take me, Mr. Durham”, said Percy gently, with his back resting against the black slate of the roof; the light rays of sun --whose bright, blinding face was hiding behind clouds-- were worth coming the next day. “When someone smiles back at me, when someone touches my shoulder to get me out of the way, when they wish me a good day; I fall in love too easily, with many people. Approximately five times a day.”
“Many people?”, Clive laughed. “You mean, many women.”
Percival contemplated the sky a while.
“No,” he finally said, “many people.”
Percival was supposed to be Clive’s opposite: excited about loving and be loved in return, excited to be discovered and being so happy with himself, he can barely hide it.
But when Percival got infatuated with a man, an acquaintance of Clive, Clive started to snap, to wander, to ask questions he could’ve never asked before. But Percival had nothing to hide anyways, and this would make Clive distant
Resume: with time Percival would’ve become closer and closer to anne’s circle, and thus he would’ve grown tired and exhausted. Bc Percival is autistic, and he has very little spoons (a metaphor about being autistic), meeting new people every day, being dragged to social compromises and being treated as some sort of servant that these rich ppl needed for entertainment, he would’ve suffered a meltdown and avoid Pendersleigh for a while
But bc Percy is not dumb, he would’ve returned bc he needs to eat, and bc of his neurodivergence he couldn’t keep jobs that were mostly aimed to neurotypicals. So when he came back, he decided to stay in Clive’s side. He found comfort in his cases cus all he needed to do was ignore Clive and sleep and little lol. And so this was supposed to be the first step to develop their relationship: Clive being interested in percy now that he has discover Percy likes men as well, Percival feeling drawn to Clive. They get to know each other and eventually, they fall in love.
But ofc everytime Clive perceives a hint of flirt, he panics and back off, bc hes an I—HSHFS- NOO- WAIT—LMAO DLFAOF—IM SO SHY--- gay, and Percy is a ;)) bisexual, so they keep flirting a good part of my outline.
But then BOOm I planned Mrs Hall to visit clive. And so clive wouldve remembered everything with Maurice, feel bad, and reject percival once for all. Percival cries a lot and anne thinks he is sick bc he has an uncontrollable sobbing, but then he escapes again
Clive has some awful months and Anne notices. She knows, but at the same time, she doesn’t: she knows Percy and Clive had a cute dynamic and relationship, she knows they loved each other, but she cant notice the homoerotism they had, and so she goes on looking for percival
I shpuld add that even tho I didn’t outlined this, there was a subplot exploring Anne’s bisexuality. I was working on how to do it when I deleted the fanfic
She finds Percival and discovers that he lied this whole time: his real name is Daniel Darcy, son of Mrs. Darcy, a middle-class woman who fell in disgrace after her husband escaped with his lover. It is revealed that Percival has many brothers and is the youngest of all, being 22. It is also revealed that he have been running away from home and coming back since he was twelve. His mother openly talks shit about Percy and it is hinted that Percy is a Bastard, a product of a love affair.
There was a silly joke I had in my notes app:
“Many years ago, Mr. Darcy ran away from us, in the gay nineties”, he spat, struggling with laughing and bitterness. “Gay, my mother hates the word, just like she hates me and everything that is stunning.”
Then Anne wouldve told Percival about Clive but he wouldve stop her and ask her to go. But he wouldve return to penge a few weeks later cus he a dumbass who doesn’t value himself. Then he and clive wouldve kissed in the rain while he sees percy in the darkness of the night at penge’s garden, but then percy wouldve been like “lol bye” bc he just wanted to let clive know that he loved him too and that he would be back in the morning.
Fluffy ffluffy fluffy flufly
Then BOOM Maurice makes an appearance, telling clive everything about what happened with kitty, then asking for money lmao so he and alec can look for another place, and he tells clive that didn’t anywhere else to go. At fisrt Clive says no but then percy manages to persuade him into helping Maurice, who is surprised to see Clive with a man. Clive and Maurice have a nice chat, clive apologizes and cries and then the next day Clives calls Risley and cries too and say something like sorry I wasn’t there for you yoy didn’t deserved to go through that and it was so unfair, and then he -in a very subtle way- apologizes to anne. And thus Clive is clean of guilt
But then Clive and Percival have a fight bc he wants to participate in Clive’s life but Clive refuses. Angsty angsty angsty. Percival reveals he was promised by his mother his part of the heritage if he married and became a proper gentleman. He tells clive he will accept his mother offer if clive keeps being ashamed of him
Clive wants to be with percival but he sees himself in another drama, so he does what is easier: letting Percival go.
But percival didn’t expected that shit to happen ?? as extra as he is, he thought clive wouldve comfort him and kiss him. .. .. . . .
Bc he doenst know anywhere else to go, and doesn’t want to get married and hates his mom and he would hate it if he became clive, he goes with Maurice and Alec CUS HE WANTS THEM TO BE HIS DADS ¿’¿’’93 me too bitch get in the line
So advices advices advices. Percival has a clearer mind and he runs his way up to penge
So kisses kisses kisses, he and Clive are in love nd stuff. JUMP TIME, Maurice and alec live in France and they are Percy’s and Clive’s neighbors. Anne is looking for adventures and kisses many women and many men. Everyone is happy YAY I can cope
TO A HAPPIER YEAR
Ok I am a little tired I want to sleep jdswiow io
So Clive’s durham first love. Fluffly fluffly fflufy
It cover events during the movie (clive being tired of bullshit after Christmas vacs).
Bc clive is an asshole, he ignores Quinn (his first love and stuff]) and quinn wants to know why he is being pushed aside and why is clive so distant. But then he discovers it and wish clive luck
JUMP TIME they are both in their 36 and clive is miserable during a trip in Italy. They both meet during said trip, reconnect romantically, and HAPPY YEAR YES EVERYTHING IS HAPPIER THE YEARS HAPPY ENDING WHATEVer. I swear it is cuter Im just very sleepy now lol
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i literally agree with your tags on that post so much. i’m new to harringrove and i feel like it’s impenetrable sometime and i have a lot of fics i want to write but it also feels like? idk maybe what’s the point? but you and one or two other bloggers have followed me and that really helps. THANK YOU for recommending those fics that are from authors i haven’t seen promoted!!! i literally can’t wait to explore them. love your writing so much, love the way you treat people even more <3
it makes me so. so happy that you found new authors to love and fics to devour, like. it feels my heart with warmth, and i’m. so freakin honored you’re reading my stories too? and finding something good in them? you’re really really sweet and i’m so glad i could help
having said that, i just wanted to say. my tags were never meant to discourage you, or anyone, anyone from posting their work. i can only speak for writers bc objectively. artists receive more attention and recognition bc fanart is easier and faster to consume, but. listen. crafting stories? having sth in your mind and putting it into words? that’s magic. and it’s wonderful, and it’s so freakin hard, and it gets really lonely. but then you put it out there, you. share it with the world, and you get someone stepping into your inbox and telling you how your story felt personal to them, made them think or feel or cry or smile, and. i can’t. can’t explain how incredible that feels. just one kind word from someone makes all the hard work, all the hours spent writing and deleting and rewriting, it just. it makes all of it worth it, believe me
im. not the best at talking to people? and i understand that fandom means being loud, so people won’t forget you’re there, and thats. not something i can do. i cant produce content every day, and i dont have a lot of fandom followers so when i do put content out there it’ll very likely go unnoticed, and it won’t get around, and that. can get discouraging, and it can start feeling pointless, but. it’s not? it’s so not, i promise. and again, that’s just my personal experience. im sure if you ask others they’ll give you a completely different perspective, so
uh idk how good i am at pep talks? but what i mean by all. this is. please put your stories out there, if you feel like it, obviously, because there’s always someone who’ll read them and tell you how much they mean to them, and that right there? magic. so please please write all the stories you wanna and share them and know that you’re making a difference? bc you do. i hope that helps, somehow? even a little 💖
also just know my inbox is always open? im really bad at keeping up w fandom stuff, but if you end up posting sth i’d love to read it? so if u wanna, maybe. send it my way? or even before posting it, if u need cheering up? im up for that too 💕
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Till You Go Nuts - Cisco Ramon
Summary : Y/N decided to tease her boyfriend at work by wearing her most revealing outfit and doing the most subtle things ever. By the end of the day, she’s given what she was craving for all day.
Word Count : 2.9k +
Warnings : smuuuttt, teasing, flustered!cisco, thigh riding, dry humping, fingering, oral, cursing, loottsss of dirty talk from both parties, just smut really
Pairing / Characters : Cisco Ramon x reader, Barry Allen, Caitlyn Snow, Iris West-Allen, Ralph
Prompt : “Okay Swoon killed me. Please forgive me but could we get another nsfw Cisco?? Like, maybe the readers teasing him all day at Star Labs in subtle ways but it drives him NUTS so he breached her home to be all dominating?? Ashdjgikrn im sorry I just loved your other fic and it made this pop into my head!! Tysm!” - anon
A/N : I had to rewrite this three times bc I’m stupid and accidentally deleted twice. :( but here it is, enjoy :)
new masterlist | requests | prompt list
Y/N woke up with a master plan on getting herself laid that day. No, it wasn’t going to be just by anyone, but by her long term boyfriend Cisco Ramon. He had teased her the week before with subtle ass grabbing and occasional slip ups of some things that only she would know about, leaving her flustered and angry for the rest of the day. Today it was her turn to get her revenge.
She started off with a shower, using Cisco’s favorite smelling shampoo and body wash to get the show on the roll. After that she dressed herself in a leather skirt, paired with low cut band t-shirt that showed just a little too much cleavage. To finish the look off she slid on a leather jacket and some heels. Once she thought her outfit was finished she headed to S.T.A.R. Labs. Upon walking into the Cortex she sprayed Cisco’s favorite perfume all over herself.
When the elevator door opened she strode into the Cortex, the sound of her heels clicking against the tiled floor grabbing everyone’s attention. Cisco turned around, his jaw dropping to the ground at the sight of his stunning girlfriend.
“Wow Y/N, trying to outdress us much?” Iris teased. Y/N shrugged, a smirk growing across her lips. From the corner of her eye she could see Cisco gawking over her.
“Well you’re just on time, we were just talking about our newest enemy.” Caitlyn began to explain the situation to her, Y/N, still going on with her plan now leaning over the desk and giving not only Cisco, but the newest member Ralph, a show. When Cisco caught Ralph looking down his girlfriend’s shirt he made sure to point it out.
“Stop starring down my girlfriend’s shirt, Dipney.” Cisco growled. The way Cisco was becoming possessive over Y/N turned her on more than it should have, but she couldn’t help that fire in the pit of her stomach when he acted like that.
When Barry and Ralph left to go fight their newest enemy, Y/N got extra close to Cisco as he talked to Barry through the coms. Y/N would lean in from behind him and place chaste kisses on the back of his neck when she knew Iris and Caitlyn were too busy focusing on the situation at hand. Cisco tried to his best to ignore his girlfriend, but with the way she was dressed and the small kisses it was getting harder and harder to ignore her.
“Cisco! Cisco are you even there?” Barry yelled through the coms.
Cisco shook his head from his thoughts and replied to the hero, leaving Y/N smirking behind him. Her plan was working just like she wanted it to. She was sure that within maybe two or three hours tops Cisco would be putty in her hands.
Barry and Ralph got back to S.T.A.R. Labs moments later, exhausted from the fight. They hadn’t apprehended the enemy, leaving them a little anxious and angry.
“He’ll show up again, don’t stress about it. For now, you all need to get to work, Cisco and I can stay here.” Y/N said, patting Ralph on the shoulder and then looking back at her boyfriend with a certain gleam in her eye. “Right, Cisco.”
The meta human contained himself, only barely though and nodded at his girlfriend. “Yeah, right. We can stay back in case anything happens or this guy shows up again.” The rest of the team agreed and left to go to their separate jobs. Once everyone was gone Cisco shot a glare in Y/N’s direction. “What was all that earlier? Teasing me while Barry and Ralph were on a mission?” He growled. Cisco got up and walked over to Y/N who was waiting patiently at one of the desks.
“Whatever are you talking about, my love?” Y/N smirked, “I wasn’t teasing you.”
Cisco’s hands gripped his girlfriend’s waist, pulling her closer to him. He just wanted to feel her skin, feel her against him, and she wanted the exact same thing. The meta human’s knew separated Y/N’s, placing his thigh under her cunt. Y/N was desperate for any type of contact with Cisco, so when he started grinding her hips down onto his clothed thigh she couldn’t help the moan that escaped her lips.
“Think you can get away with teasing me like that? What if Iris or Caitlyn saw what you were up to, huh? What would you have done then?” Cisco was moving her hips faster now, pressing her clothed clit harder against his thigh. Y/N moaned loudly, head tilting back. “That’s not an answer, baby, what would you have done if they caught you?”
“I- I would have continued.” Y?N let out breathlessly, “I would have kept going.” Y/N was losing her leverage against Cisco, she had to get the game back in her control. Even though she didn’t want to, Y/N pushed herself off of Cisco’s thigh and away from him. “I’m not done teasing you yet, I’m gonna tease you till you go nuts. Till you can’t help it anymore, not being able to touch me, not being able to have my pussy wrapped around your cock. Baby, you haven’t seen anything yet.” With that she wondered off, leaving Cisco standing there with his mouth wide open, a wet spot on his pants from where her soaking cunt was pressed against him, and a raging boner.
Y/N was not seen for another hour, she had started working on something in Cisco’s lab, a project they had been neglecting for a while now. Cisco went to his lab looking for her, and was happy when he saw her working on their project. “Damnit!” Y/N said angrily as she threw a piece of metal across the room.
“Hey, no throwing stuff in my lab.” Cisco teased. He never liked people throwing things in his lab, but Y?N was usually en exception to that. “What’s the problem?” He asked as he walked to his girlfriend.
“You know that piece we found the other day that we thought would fit into the machine? Yeah, doesn’t fit.” Y/N put her head in her hands, “I don’t think we’ll ever get this done.” She mumbled.
Cisco rubbed Y/N’s back, trying to get her to calm down or relieve some stress. “We’ll get it done babe, it’s just gonna take longer than we thought it would.” Y/N nodded and got up from the stool and went to grab the piece that she had thrown across the room. Smirking, she bent over, her skirt rising and showing off her electric blue, lacy panties. She heard Cisco groan behind her, then the scrape of the metal stool against the concrete floor.
Y/N was pulled upwards, her ass colliding with Cisco’s evident bulge. “I think I’ve had enough of your teasing, princess.” Cisco’s hands were everywhere, Y/N’s throat, her chest, her stomach, her legs, everywhere except where she needed him most.
“Then why don’t you do something about it?” Cisco smirked, one hand leaving Y/N and reaching out to create a breach.
“I thought you’d never ask.” Cisco pulled Y/N through the breach that landed them straight into their bedroom. “Now baby, you are going to follow all of my rules, my commands, and if you disobey me at any time you’ll be punished. Am I making myself clear?” Y/N nodded furiously, her skin already heating up with he thoughts of Cisco may do to her if she disobeyed. In a way, she wanted to see what would happen. “Strip for me, love. Want to see what you’ve been wearing underneath this sexy outfit all day.”
Y/N didn’t hesitate to get herself undressed, leaving herself in the electric blue set of lingerie. The way Cisco’s eyes were raking up and down her body cause heat to flush her skin, and pool in her lower region. She felt so exposed to him like this even though they had had sex so many times before. This time she felt like the prey, while Cisco was the hunter about to get what he wanted
“So beautiful, and all for me.” Cisco stepped forward and stood in front of his lover, his hands reaching out to her hips and pulling her forward. His knee parted her legs as he seated her on his thigh. “You’re gonna ride my thigh until you cum, darling, want to see you get off on my thigh.” Y/N nodded and slowly started rocking her clothed core against the fabric of Cisco’s pants. The friction seemed to take forever to build up into something, but as soon as he started pushing her hips down onto his thigh harder it began to build up.
The moans flowing from Y/N’s mouth made Cisco’s cock strain against his trousers, making the pain he had already felt worsen. As Y/N rode his thigh and chased her first orgasm, Cisco began to rock his thigh up into cunt, his fingers bruising her hips as he gripped her to keep her in place.
“Ci-Cisco, baby I’m gonna cum.” Y/N whimpered, her hips stuttering against Cisco’s thigh. Once those words came from her mouth Cisco pulled Y/N from his thigh, and then pulled himself away from her. “What the hell?” Y/N screeched, her orgasm so close and now so far away.
“You’ll get what’s coming to you, princess, just you wait,” Cisco stripped himself of his clothes, finally releasing the built up tension between his boxer briefs and his cock. “We’re gonna try something new, I want you to ride my face whilst sucking me off.” Y/N’s ears burned at the thought of Cisco eating the life out of her, while she gave him head.
Y/N watched as he laid back on the bed, pulling his hair from his face and then looking at Y/N to beckon her over. She crawled over to him, heart hammering in her chest. “Sit on my face baby, then turn around.” She did as told, positioning her dripping cunt over his lips and then turning around to face his erection. “So wet,” Cisco mumbled, his lips ghosted her parted lips sending chills down her spine. “Go ahead and get started baby.”
Dropping her head, Y/N licked at the tip, collecting the precum that was leaking from it, then slowly she began to ease her head down his length. The sudden connection of her warm mouth to his aching member caused Cisco to accidentally buck his hips up and force more of his cock down her throat. Y/N gagged, but stayed still and steady until she started bobbing her head. While she was sucking him off, Cisco had pulled her lace panties aside and was eating her pussy so right that she almost stopped breathing. His lips were sucking at her clit, flicking his tongue back and forth on the nub, then sliding it into her glistening hole. The sensation of the new angle was bringing Y/N back to the brink of her first orgasm. She was silently praying that he wouldn’t pull away again and leave her on the edge.
Cisco began to eat her out harder, basically shoving his face into her cunt. After a while he pushed two of his fingers into her pussy, causing a delicious moan to leave her mouth. “Mm, you like my fingers in your cunt, princess? You like my mouth on you while I fuck you with my fingers.” Cisco felt Y/N nod against his member, causing a weird, but delightful sensation to run through his body. He got back to work at her core, sucking at her clit while shoving his fingers in and out of her, occasionally curling them to hit a that one spot inside her that sent her hips bucking down onto this mouth.
Y/N pulled back from Cisco’s cock, a string of saliva following her plump lips. “Cisco, please let me cum, I need it, please.” She begged, her hand now jerking him off.
“Gonna cum in that pretty mouth of yours while cum on my lips, you got that?” Y/N nodded, placing her mouth back on his tip and hollowing out her cheeks as she began to suck him off harder. Cisco’s fingers moved faster and harder in her pussy until she was gripping his fingers and she was screaming against his dick. Cisco placed his lips at her entrance just in time to catch the sweetness that came from her as she let out her first orgasm. Her hips stuttered and bucked, moans fell from lips and were muffled as she still had her lips wrapped out his dick. Not long after Cisco came after her, hot strings of his seed spilling into her mouth and down her throat. When they had both come down from their highs, Y/N rolled off of him, chest heaving as she caught her breathe.
“Oh, don’t think I’m done with you yet, my love.” Cisco hummed, grabbing Y/N’s legs and gently dragging her across the bed to meet him. “You’re gonna get fucked so good.” The smirk on his face told Y/N not to doubt those words. Grabbing hold of his still hard cock, Cisco rubbed the tip through the folds of her pussy, collecting her juices and then pushing into her. The sudden stretch caused Y/N to let out a loud, high pitched moan. Every time Cisco entered her it was like the first time all over again.
His thrusts started out slow and steady, moving Y/N leg’s over his shoulders for a better angle so he could hit every right spot inside her. Y/N’s eyebrows scrunched together and she shut her eyes, the pleasure so overwhelming it put her mind in a thick haze. Cisco grabbed hold of her chin, causing her eyes to open and look into his. “Look at me while I fuck, love, want to see every single part of you.” Y/N struggled but did as told, not once closing her eyes. Her eyes stayed connected to Cisco’s, making the moment even more intimate.
“Feels so good, fuck.” Y/N reached up behind her to grip the sheets, her hands clutching the fabric. The feeling of Cisco’s thick cock feeling her insides grew her closer to her second release, but she knew it wouldn’t be long until Cisco pulled out and found a new position to torture her with. She was right, just as close as she was the feeling was gone and before she could ask anything Cisco had laid behind her, hiking up a leg and putting it over his hips so he could easily slide his cock back into her. As soon as he did the pace was now hard and fast, moving Y/N with every thrust.
“Such a tight cunt, so perfect to fuck and fill. Love fucking you my love, all mine, all mine.” Cisco repeated as he continued his penetration into her soar center. Y/N clenched and unclenched her pussy around his dick, moaning louder and louder as she inched forward to her next release. “Gonna fill you up so nice with my cum, gonna make you full for days.” He growled into her ear, his lips ghosting down and sucking dark purple bruises onto her neck.
“Love your cum inside me, baby, feels so good.” Y/N mewled, throwing her head back. “Gonna cum again, fuck, make me cum.” Cisco grunted loudly, his hot breathe fanning Y/N’s skin as he fucked her until his hips stilled, slightly stuttering as he released his second load into her swollen pussy. The feeling of him pouring his seed into her pussy made her own release trigger, her ass pushing against his hips.
When Cisco knew their orgasms had ended he gently pulled out of Y/N’s pussy, their mix of cum sliding out of her stretched out hole and spilling down leg and onto the bed sheets.
Now too tired to move and clean themselves up, the two laid on the bed together, breathing heavily as the tangled their limbs together and dozed off into a peaceful sleep. They both knew though that when they woke up, the second round would begin.
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Sheith is canon. Stop peddling klance. You're too talented for that juvenile bull crap.
im gonna hit my fucking limit if you don’t piss off.
i’ve received so many of these over the past few months and i’ve just been deleting them because they’re a waste of my time. but im so angry right now i could scream. how dare you call me juvenile when you come into my inbox spewing this shit almost on the daily. also who the fuck says bull crap?? it’s 2018 you either swear or you stay in the chucke cheese ball pit where you clearly belong.
it’s people like you anon who are making me absolutely hate my work as an author, as an event runner, and above all you’re making me fucking hate myself. i can’t stand this. fuck.
anon, you’re making me loathe sheith, and not because of the ship itself. i think the ship is a great concept and has many amazing people behind it, but recently when i see sheith all i can think about are these fucking anons and i get sick to my stomach. the stupidest shit goes through my head like… ‘would people like me more if i shipped sheith?’ ‘is shipping klance wrong?’ ‘would my work be better focus towards sheith?’ ‘do people even listen to me because i ship klance? are they right, is klance ‘juvenile’?’ and it fucking hurts. because i like sheith’s dynamic. it’s a relationship built on trust and pure adoration. it’s a kind of love that lingers in your soul, the slow burning of sweet incense until you’re drunk from the smell, it’s that kind of intoxicating. i want to be able to see sheith exactly how i just described it there and not see this fucking anon taunting me. i thought if i didn’t answer you’d go away, but here you are. you’re always here.
anon, i’m not sure what you’d thought you’d accomplish by praising my intelligence, my compassion, my persistence, my strength for these past few months, and then saying i’m wasting it. if you were trying to get me to ship sheith, you’ve fucking failed. had you left me alone i probably would have started shipping it. but no, you kept sending these. well fuck you anon. i still don’t ship sheith and now i just feel so fucking angry at myself for allowing you to become what i associate sheith with. im so angry. the real sheith shippers don’t deserve my anger just as the real klance shippers don’t deserve it either. i should be angry at just you, but i’m not. i’m angry at it all and i hate myself for it. i hate myself! fuck!
but at least you’ve emboldened me. i’ve rekindled a love for klance because of you. i’ve kept my ship despite you coming in and trying to explain why klance won’t be canon, why sheith is already canon, why klance works are inferior, why i should rewrite my stuff as sheith, why i shouldn’t ship klance. in fact! i’d say i ship my ship more because of you. my talents are not wasted in creating what i love. they will never be wasted. as long as what i do makes me happy then you can go eat a full pound of sugar free jelly beans (aka the most powerful laxative in the fucking world). i am creating what i love just as other shippers are creating what they love. the point of a fandom is to create and enjoy. it’s not a place to debate about what ship is better.
klance is… it’s a ‘say you’ll never let me go’ kind of love. it’s an ‘i’ll be your anchor’ kind of love. it’s ‘i’ll be your voice when the whispers get too loud, your home base and the king that keeps you crowned, your lips when your choking on your words’. it’s a wildfire. it’s raindrops, it’s who do you love, it’s stutter, it’s haven’t had enough, it’s a smoke filled room, it’s surrender, it’s clarity, it’s something better, it’s closer, it’s it’ll be okay, it’s firestone, it’s i’ll fight or you, it’s enjoy the ride and a million other songs i could link.
klance to me is the sunlight reflecting off the ocean, orange rays staining the blue ripples. it’s the rainfall to the desert, droplets quenching the parched earth their creating new life. it’s the vivacious spirit of a summer storm, the lightning and the thunder. klance is the spirit of adventure, a great wondrous spark of curiosity. it’s an impulsive fling that turns into an eternal flame. it’s an iceberg: fun and bright on the surface but the passion runs deep beneath it. it’s the thrill of a new discovery, the innocence of a child in a park and simultaneously the father watching his child learn. it’s the drive behind competition, an adrenaline rush. rev your engines, smirk at your rival, ‘eat my dust’ trash talk but you know when the crowd dies down you’ll be in each other arms. it’s a thrill you get from going really fast and the fear from a fall yet all the overwhelming relief when you are safe. it’s a soul splintering sob that leaves you vulnerable and shattered in the best ways and a carbonated laugh that tickles from your nose to your toes. the warmth from the sun, the sighs of a wind, the light of the stars, the beating of a heart, the cool of the mist. it’s a thousand words in a picture. it’s a rush of air. it’s clean and fresh and youthful and exhilarating and i thrive in this kind of place. i thrive in the polar opposites and extremes. i need this kind of joy and reverence and mix of agape and eros like oxygen, like water, like touch.
and i thrive in the peace too. the gentle quiet of the dawn and the calm after a storm, the waves lapping on the shore, the fire crackling in the hearth, the ship docking at harbor, the plane gliding over the clouds. it’s the feeling of a good sleep. it’s the reassurance of a lover’s forgiveness. it’s the great tranquility of standing up for what’s right. it’s the great strength of a smile won after tears. if morning coffee and cuddles and blankets and nuzzles.
what im trying to say is… klance to me is joy. joy is my favorite emotion. i live to feel joy to make joy to be joy to spread joy. so let me be joyful in what i do and let others be joyful in what they do.
so i ship klance. and now you know why. this ship leaves me raw and empty in the best way. i’ll never stop loving it, you can’t make me, i won’t let you. just like i won’t let people like you ruin this ship or any other ship for anyone else ever again. the next ask from you i get i’m just going to ip block. i won’t let you take the joy from my ship or taint other ships for me anymore.
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