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#I LOVE ALL THE TJINGS THEY ALWAYS SAY
mschimdt · 1 year
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quaritch headcanons pt.2
475 words
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last quaritch tjing before i start working on lopez and prager, ill come back to quaritch but ive been writing too much about him
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quaritch is rough, inside and outside the bedroom, but sometimes he isnt, when for example your hurt or somethings just wrong, like your sad or something
he'd always stare at you, during work, during everything
everyone of the nase knew your and quaritch were fucking. for way too many reasons, like the noises coming from your or his room most nights of the week, or his scent that was lingering on you
quaritch has a scenting kink. you didnt mind smelling like him, you loved how he smelled
quaritch also has a thing for bdsm, not always though. just sometimes
he has a daddy kink, call him daddy and he'll pound into you like theres no tomorrow
cant forget his breeding kink, he'll make sure his cum stays inside of you so he can breed you
quaritch is litterally obsessed with you, and everyone knew that
once while you were both in the bedroom, you secretly tied quaritch up so you could dominate him, you wanted to make him submit
when he realised what you were doing, he noticed that the rope was loose and slipped his arms out while you were attempting to dominate him, it wasnt working out well for you
before you could even lrocess it he grabbed you by the waist roughly and pulled your hair back, "open your mouth" ans he spat in your mouth
"you wanna dominate me? that aint possible sweet'eart ill just fuck you while youre ontop" and he began pounding into you roughly, it didnt stop there he oversimulated you and made you cum 4 times
you were a stuttering mess when he finally decided that it was enough, he kissed you and wiped your tears away, he pulled the covers ober both of you and he slept shile holding you
lets just say the next morning everyone came to work tired complaining about 'two' people that couldnt keeo the noise down
you could barely walk that morning and everyone noticed you limping
quaritch likes to fuck you infront of a mirror, he wants you to lool at what hea doing to you and how your submitting to him so easily
he also forced you to look at him when he eats you out, if you look away, he stops
he has a thing for cockwarming, he'll sleep while his dicks still inside of you, it eventually slipped out during the night
he loves cumming all over you, sounds nasty but he jjst likes seeing streaks of white all over your body, especially on your face or tits
he loves tits and will litteraly fuck your tits sometimes
if he sees you going anywhere dressed in a dress or something, he'll drag you back into your room and say " where ya goin'? you cant go out like this before lettin' me do a quickie ya' know?
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thas it for now, i got lazy but i wantes to post something
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klausysworld · 1 year
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hello you can do a second part for yandere wolf klaus, where one night within his routine of visiting y/n he goes to see her at her house, but she is not there so he waits for her calmly until he notices that a man leaves her at home afterwards going on a date, which angers klaus and after she walks in, he starts chasing the man like a wolf to finally kill him.
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Please stay inside Wolf
Pt 1 Pt3
Klaus had been patiently waiting for hours. He had been sat outisde her door for so long he was beginning to worry. It was dark out, she was always back befire dark. He managed to scramble his wag through the bathroom window which was slightly open, effectively knocking every item off the sides as he made his way around the house.
He went to her room and lookrd around for ang sign thaf she'd gone on a trip but all her tjings were still there, food was still in the fridge and her laptop was on charge in the living room. His ears went back at the thought of something happening to her.
He decided to go back outside and wait a little longer, she'd return soon.
Just as his eyes drooped as his head rolled to rest against the cold floof of her pathway, he heard her laugh. His head Instantly lifted up and he quickly approached the sound. He froze in his step when he saw she wasn't alone. No she was with a man.
He growled lowly attracting the attention of both humans. Y/n stumbled a little in her step as she came closed to him with a smile on her face whike the man she was with looked beyond terrified
“Y/n don’t move“ he whispered grabbed her arm. Klaus bared his teeth at the action, his eyes burning into the hand that gripped his precious heart.
“no it's okay, c’mere Wolf, don't worry he's sweet and gentle“ she slurred as she dragged herself away from his hold and crouched down to Klaus. Her hands brushed his face making him put his teeth away and nuzzle her hands
“He a pet or something?” The guy asked making Klaus growl once again and her to giggle and shush him
“I’m not sure, he’s just my Wolf” she said with a smile.
‘My Wolf’ Niklaus couldn’t stop the little rumble he gave in response, his head moving to bury in her neck making her laugh again
“You certain he’s safe?” God this guys needed to leave.
“Thousand percentage, he wouldn’t hurt a fly” she muttered kissing Klaus on the cheek before standing back up properly
“Well, i had a really nice time, i would invite you inside but i think it’s safe to say i am a tinsy bit on the drunk side” she said with a laugh and the man nodded with a smile
“Of course, I’ll be seeing you again soon?” He asked, eyes a little too hopeful for Klaus’ liking
“Mhm, I’ll call you” she told him. And then she did something Klaus will never get over. She kissed him. Her lips touched his. Klaus felt as though he could rip the man to shreds right there. How fucking dare he. He watched in utter horror as the mans hand held the back of her head. Finally after a full minute of torture, y/n made her way inside calling for Niklaus on her way.
Klaus followed her with hard eyes and a broken heart. He helped her get into bed, letting her use him to push herself up. He didn’t touch her when she changed infront of him, her tipsy state not caring at all. He dragged the covers over her with his teeth and managed to smack the light switch with his paw.
The second she was asleep he set out.
Put rage fuelling his body as he ran through the forest. His steps echoes as he bounded toward the scent of the imbecile that thought he stood a chance with Klaus’ love.
His paws took her all the way to him outside the guys home. The wolf didn’t waste a second before launching at him, throwing the man to the ground making him yell our in pain. Klaus hovered over his, teeth snapping in his face making him scream out in fear
“What the fuck!” He started yelling while trying to smash Klaus’ head in with a rock. Blood ran down the side of his face but he didn’t care. Without a second thought Klaus’ teeth had ripped through the mans neck. His head torn clean off. Klaus continued to tear each limb from his body, growling in anger and frustration. Shortly after he heard a gasp from a women. She shared similar features to the man, his mother he assumed.
If he were in human form he would have had a sickening grin as he stalked towards her. She trembled in terror as she attempted to run bit Klaus was in no mood for games, swiftly clawing her to shreds, almost exited for the story to be on the news in the morning.
Klaus quickly head home, washing the blood from him body before turning back to his wolf form and going back to his sweet y/n.
He curled up with her to his chest, her hands clung to his fur as she buried her face in his chest. His tail wagged through the night and morning knowing he had eliminated his problems, she was his.
And when she heard of the attack on the news she didn’t once suspect him
“Oh my god” she breathed, he hand moving to cover her mouth
“Wolf- you mustn’t go outside at night, if something could do that…I can’t have them hurt you” she whispered holding his face
“Oh I’m so glad you stayed all night, can you imagine if the monster had got you” thats when he heard her sniffle, she was crying. He gently nuzzled her neck and hair, his body moving beneath hers so she could lay on him as his body circled hers to replicate a hug
“Please stay inside” she muttered clinging to him. He purred for her to calm as he stayed in her embrace all day and night.
She loved him, whether it was because she saw him as a pet or not. It didn’t matter to him that she didn’t know who or what he was, all he saw was love and that was all that registered in his mind. They were to be together.
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dreamtdebris · 1 year
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i have never really shared my very specific headcanons about baxington publicly except for a single instance in a discord server where the topic came up while i was talking with a friend... it's a little embarrassing to talk about this stuff and i feel like making a whole thread on twitter about this would be a little weird?? i feel like this is a good place to share my silly thoughts though
baxington is actually one of the many adhd x autism ship hcs i've been collecting over the years... like i truly believe in adhd forthington and autistic semi verbal baxington where forthington literally never stops fucking talking ever at any point and baxter is very quiet but despite the difference in how vocally communicative they are they're both equally cocky and competitive, not in an unhealthy way but moreso like "i love you but i'm NOT gonna go easy on you and i WILL kiss your sore loser face once i win"
i like to think rallying is like their love language. i've said it before but i don't think there's anything more romantic than piloting planes while playing airborne badminton with your husband. they definitely poke fun at eachother constantly, forthington especially i see him as the teasing type, i do think baxter is a little more level-headed and the little story in fever pretty much confirms that... but something in my gut just tells me that baxter is also the one that would more quickly melt into the other's arms, maybe it's because he's a dog and in my head it just makes sense that he'd need a lot more attention, fortunately forthington always has the energy for him, he's there to give baxy all the attention he needs And more :3 the image of forthington accidentally calling baxter a "good boy" in public and embarrassing both of them... it's just kinda the cutest fucking tjing ever forever (partially influenced by fanart)
yeah i'd say maybe ford and baxy are the nicknames they'd give eachother, i also really like the idea that baxter mostly communicates through body language and forthington is just so used to it that he can always tell exactly what he's feeling just from looking at him. and that they hold hands so often now because even before they started dating they used to do a handshake after every game and just kinda got used to it. (those handshakes would usually go on for a little too long...)
also they're nb4nb
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quinnfebrey · 1 year
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what is one song on each of taylor’s albums that you think is vastly underrated
debut - the outside!! holy fuck it’s one of my favorite taylor songs of all time and it’s paid dust. but like. remember being 12?? which is basically when taylor wrote it?? AND it’s a bop???
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fearless - jump then fall!! the ultimate crush song!! if this bitch was unreleased she’d get the same appreciation as i’d lie but i guess familiarity breeds contempt 😪
speak now - the story of us. a freaking bop and the verses are owie and also the dark academia music video look?? where’s the lip bite emoji
red - holy ground. i don’t have the words. but if you know. you Know
1989 - ayhtdws gets overlooked bc it’s not a typical track five but the “people like you always want back the love they pushed aside 🙄 but people like me are gone forever when you say goodbye 👹” and then the bridgeeee
LET ME REMIND YOU. THJS IS WHAT YOU WANTED!!! YOU ENDED IT!!!!!
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rep - call it what you wantttttt. for the problematic girlies that found true love <3 cause i know i make the same mistakes every time 😭 bridges burn!!! i NEVER learn!!!! at least i did. ONE TJING RIGHT!!! ……i did one thing right 🥹
lover - i think he knows. like ya it’s just a fun bop. but. i Do wanna see what’s under that attitude. btw 😗
folklore - the 1. what more do i have 2 say
evermore - the entire fucking track list. oh just one? ok fine. dorothea for sure
midnights - high! infidelity!! pUT ON YOUR RECORDS AND REGRET MEETING ME!!!! DO YOU REALLT WNANA KNOW WHERE I WAS APRIL 29TH???? DO I REALLY NEED TO TRLL YOU HOW HE BROIGJT ME BACK TO LIFE!???????!!!!!!!!!!!
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mikavlcs · 11 months
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Part 2 !
O.M.G. Not only are they getting revenge for Enid but Wednesday is actually willing to watch a video of it on a phone?? Holy shit that's huge. Wednesday is willing to put aside her distaste for technology in order to see Enids bullies getting roasted. Literally. It is official. Wednesday is Things and Rs number one supporter!
Lol of course Thing and R would discover the Nightshades hideout by accident. Wednesdays out here solving riddles and these loving idiots just stumble upon it.
WEDNESDAY SAID THANK YOU EVERYBODY CALM DOWN! If that isn't a sign for Wednesday being a secret softie and simp for R then I don't know what is. Wednesday never says thank you. Miss girl loves that R has a very similar personality and interest in the macabre. That'd what drew Wednesday in.
😂 "can I come. No. Thanks for letting me come along" That really made me laugh out loud. Wednesday is such a sucker for R. It's hilarious.
AW THING! I love you too buddy. Thank you for standing up for me and risking losing a fingernail. It really does mean a lot!
Well Wednesday. I think we all know why you actually let R come along. You are in looove. You've grown soft. Just admit that you like having that annoying pest R around. It makes your life much easier.
Hey! The conventions with Tjing are far from mind numbing. They are entertaining, intelligent and highly insightful! Wednesday you are just jealous cause you aren't involved.
...that actually was very funny. Wednesday kind of humor is the best. Hyping people up just to drag them down again. I love dry and sassy humor.
Oooh Wednesday is crushing on R! She's experiencing feelings. Though I'm sure that she would prefer having someone/something else lick her sternum and other body parts...
Someone like you. What's that supposed to mean?? R is incredibly endearing and sich a fun person to be around. And Wednesday, girl, you're the one who fell for her. So you should judge yourself. Aside from that, Wednesday and R truly fit together very well. They share common interests and most importantly they can keep up with the other. The bickering is never hurtful and both can challenge each other.
...I feel heavily called out. My vocabulary is also very limited and I keep using the same words to describe your writing. But hey, us dumb bitches need to stick together!
Oh bless Enid. She's such a sweetheart.
Honey I can't even begin to describe how absolutely incredible this story was! It was even better than I could ever have imagined. Even Thesaurus can't help me with finding the right words. I'm heavily biased cause I'm the TT founder but this is fantastic. I was laughing the whole time and R being such a little shit truly made it perfect. Thing is my guy and here he was marvelous. Thank you SO MUCH for writing this story, I thoroughly enjoyed it. I'm really so in love with your writing. You could write about paint drying (shoutout to Enid) and I would be fascinated and entertained by it. You're the best!
The TTs are forever in your debt now. I'm truly speechless, I love this so very much.
ok part 2 👍
O.M.G. Not only are they getting revenge for Enid but Wednesday is actually willing to watch a video of it on a phone?? Holy shit that's huge. Wednesday is willing to put aside her distaste for technology in order to see Enids bullies getting roasted. Literally. It is official. Wednesday is Things and Rs number one supporter!
well she already disregarded her distaste for technology to read enid's blog in ep 1 so, her using it to watch people suffer wouldn't be too much for her<3
Lol of course Thing and R would discover the Nightshades hideout by accident. Wednesdays out here solving riddles and these loving idiots just stumble upon it.
that's honestly how i would find it as well because i don't know how to whistle 😭💔
and yes, wednesday is always a simp in my stories<333
😂 "can I come. No. Thanks for letting me come along" That really made me laugh out loud. Wednesday is such a sucker for R. It's hilarious.
having that be the pov transition was one of the best parts of the whole story (in my opinion) like i really made myself giggle with that one. it's embarrassing LMAO
...that actually was very funny. Wednesday kind of humor is the best. Hyping people up just to drag them down again. I love dry and sassy humor.
getting someone's hopes up just brutally crush it beneath her feet is indeed a very wednesday style of humor 🥰👍
...I feel heavily called out. My vocabulary is also very limited and I keep using the same words to describe your writing. But hey, us dumb bitches need to stick together!
honestly same. like my vocabulary is okay, but actually trying to remember different words to describe different things is so hard, especially in real life conversations 💀💀
Honey I can't even begin to describe how absolutely incredible this story was! It was even better than I could ever have imagined. Even Thesaurus can't help me with finding the right words. I'm heavily biased cause I'm the TT founder but this is fantastic. I was laughing the whole time and R being such a little shit truly made it perfect. Thing is my guy and here he was marvelous. Thank you SO MUCH for writing this story, I thoroughly enjoyed it. I'm really so in love with your writing. You could write about paint drying (shoutout to Enid) and I would be fascinated and entertained by it. You're the best!
The TTs are forever in your debt now. I'm truly speechless, I love this so very much.
thank you so much 😭😭 thank you for requesting this tbh, i already wanted to write something with the basic concept, but your request is what really pushed me to try and write it out. and i had a really great time writing it! fun & fluffy stories are always a joy to write, and getting to write one with thing so heavily present was a treat.
the "shoutout to enid" has me crying 😭💀 thank you for reading and sending these extensive messages! they're so so fun and even though it took much longer for me to actually sit down and answer this time around, i still enjoyed it sm. hope you're doing well<333
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caterkinnie · 2 years
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vice or dorm leaders (love em both, not picky so you choose LMAO) with a reader that usually speaks with them thru telepathy or text whicever same tjing, Actually Verbally Talks to them for the first time ? what they say is up to you it can range from "ily ..!" or "you are. so stupid < / 3"
The first time they hear your voice!
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summary: You two always communicated through notes and texts, something he didn't mind. But that doesn't mean he doesn't wonder how your voice sounds like...
genre: fluff!
warnings: none!
chose vice dorm leaders since im incredibly biased towards them...
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You two were dating for a few months, and while Trey didn't mind having to talk to you through notes or text, he kinda wished to hear your voice sometimes.
He imagined the first time you actually talked to him was going to be a big deal, but it was just a little 'thank youu..!' after he cooked your favorite food after you passed a test.
He doesn't want to make you uncomfortable! But… He feels his face heating and his heart racing…
'I-... I should be the one thanking you.'
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Ruggie actually didn't mind this at all!
You already said a lot with your body language, he loves teasing you for that reason. Doesn't mean he kinda wished to hear your voice, but if you don't want to verbally talk then he's not going to judge.
The first time he hears your voice is one time you two are play-fighting and he starts tickling you! And you tell him to STOP! While giggling and trying to push him away.
Ruggie stops with wide eyes, you might think he's upset or anything but you just caught him off-guard.
Quick to make a recovery with a 'Hey, that's cheating.. Your voice is nice though.'
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Didn't mind you not verbally talking at all, everyone has their quirks, right?
Jade has never pointed it out or teased you for it, since he assumes you have your reasons and will tell him someday.
He also loves teasing you to see your reactions (even more than Ruggie), which is how you got yourself in this situation.
He threw a flirty line and when you got flustered, he started acting like it was a misunderstanding and you found a double meaning in his words that didn't exist! A double meaning that did, in fact, exist.
You told him with a pouty face 'Jade you're.. so annoying..' and found a little cheatcode, HE'S the flustered one now
Quick to make a recovery though.
'What did you say, my dear? Could you please repeat it?'
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Jamil wanted to hear your voice so badly but would die before admitting it. He wouldn't risk breaking any boundaries by asking you questions, so he kept it all to himself.
You're cuddling with him in his room, it's been a long day and he's tired, Jamil is already falling asleep UNTIL he hears a little 'I love you..' which makes him tense up, wide awake now.
His heart is racing and he's sure you noticed his reaction but still….
It takes him a bit to process what happened and finally manage to reply.
'I… I love you too..'
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Loved this! This little quirk was so unique, it made every single interaction with you more special!
Still… Sometimes you could notice how he pushed you a bit to talk, not enough to make you uncomfortable though, he's mostly curious about your voice! Still, he'll be quick to stop if you really want him to.
It all started one day, Rook was in his usual "praising the love of his life" mood and was reading all the poems he wrote about you, but he's been at it for almost an hour already! You tell him a little 'You don't need… you don't need to spend so much time… writing that stuff for me..' Your voice getting lower and lower the more you talk, you see his face brighten up and let out an airy laugh!
He feels like he's falling in love all over again <3 What did you unleash, he's even worse with his praises now.
'Ah~ ma chérie, thank you so much for blessing me with your voice~.'
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Like Rook, doesn't mind at all, but that doesn't mean he's not curious.
In fact, he's even more insistent than Rook, though more subtle and most of the time you don't notice he's trying to hear your voice until you're about to speak!
One time he (as usual) comes from behind you and covers your eyes with a little 'who am i~?' to startle you, what he didn't expect was you actually replying 'Lilia… stop scaring me..!' and he keeps quiet for a bit.
When you turn around to see him he has the silliest smile you've ever seen from him. Please tease this idiot later for it he deserves it <3
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caffeinated-cryptid · 4 years
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ooh can you do klaus for the character tjing?
i’m assuming you mean the klaus from tua, which i can!! (asoue klaus is also a very good character too though)
favorite thing about them: he’s such an interesting character, just mannerism and design-wise?? in every scene he has a killer outfit, he brings so much chaos to the story and is all-around a bit of a wild card which is always great in an already chaotic story. i also love any character with something spooky going on, and him being a spiritual medium checks that box!
least favorite thing about them: huh,,, i’m not sure i have any negatives to say about him. i don’t like that him and ben have been arguing but only because it makes me sad (that said it also created some funny moments so perhaps not too sad ghjdkd).
favorite line: i’m gonna be real, i never remember a lot of specific lines unless it’s from a show i’m really invested in. i think "he didn't like children either and he had plenty of us" was a klaus line?? and i only remember that because of tiktok. 😭
brOTP: allison!! as i said earlier, their friendship is really popping off and i love it.
OTP: dave. 8′’’’’’(
nOTP: ngl, i’m not aware of any other ships involving him so n/a.
random headcanon: hmm i feel like he’d play a ouijia board with someone and mess with the answers just for kicks (but with really dumb answers like “what’s you name?” “420 blazeitron”).
unpopular opinion: i’m not involved enough in the fandom to know what counts as unpopular! perhaps the fact that he’s not my favourite character??
song i associate with them: for some reason my first thought was p!atd, so perhaps crazy = genuis or roaring 20s. something of that vibe.
favorite picture of them: i couldn’t find a good screenshot but this! that whole scene was pretty iconic.
[character ask meme]
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joshmc0810 · 2 years
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To the person who I'm blessed to be my confidante whom I can share whatever makes me feel positive and negative, without biases and prejudice. To the person who I'm grateful to call a true friend who is always there, through the good times and the bad, failures and achievements alike, by sharing with you these experiences, we grow stronger and thrive together. To the person who I'm humbled to recognize as a great leader, who unhesitating to help and support those who need it, for choosing to stand by me when the going gets tough and all tjings seem to fall apart. To the person whom I'm thankful for teaching me how to be a better person by being more compassionate, committed, and considerate, towards others, for correcting me whenever I did wrong, and for making sure I'm on the right path. To the person who may not be perfect as a human but is continuously striving to be more and do more for her family and others, know that you are more than your flaws amd imperfections. You are perfect the way you are. To the person who is among who I cherish the most, who incessantly believes in me, supports my life decisions and ventures, and trusts me with all of her heart, please do know that I appreciate all that you did and do for me. From acquaintances, to unexpected friendship, and from where we are now, all of these I will cherish and treasure in my heart, as long as I live and breathe. Always know that all may be gone and pass, but you can always look behind and find me there, always there to push you forward when you're doubting and hesitating. All I hope, pray, and wish that you may achieve the things that makes you happy and bot otherwise, and may your life be blessed as you should deserve it. All of these I say with love, as I greet my one and only madam on your special day. Words aren't enough to express how important and valued you are to me. Happy Birthday @gieancariaso (at Bacoor, Cavite) https://www.instagram.com/p/CbMlhaRLCvW/?utm_medium=tumblr
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mindofhills · 7 years
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Fuck you // Ethan Dolan Smut
Pairing: Ethan Dolan x reader
Plot: You’ve been best friends with Grayson and you’re in his squad. You get along with almost everybody, the exeption being Ethan Dolan. He has always kinda hated you and been mean to you.
Warning!: smut, swearing
A/N: I wanted to something not Teen Wolf so here are twins. Both are hot af. Sorry if it sucks, I’m high af while writing this so if it doesn’t make any sense, then umm idk sorry again :D Oh and english is not my mother thounge then here might be a shit ton of mistakes so if you dont understand then again again sorryyy
Hope ya enjoy!xxx
I was picking clothes to go and hang out with my best friends. Grayson, Cameron and Nate, I know they’re all guys, but I prefer boys over girls, just too much drama and hate. Grayson has a twin brother, his name is Ethan. Let me just tell you, the guy is a jerk, total idiot. I guess he’s coming with us tonight. We’re going to hang out in Cameron’s family house in the middle of the foods and near that is a beautiful lake. We always go there at least once a month.
I packed my things up and got downstairs. “I’m going mom. See you on Sunday.” “Okay! Love you honey!” she answered. “Love you too.” I said and closed the door behind me. “Hey happyface!” Grayson said and hugged me. I laughed as he spun me around. “You ready?” Cam shouts and waves at me. “Heck yeah, let’s get going!”
I said as I saw everybody there. “Umm, y/n. Ethan’s coming too…” Gray said calmly. My heart skipped a beat and anger inside my muscles growed. “Okay! It was great. Bye!” I said and turn around on my heeld.” They all laughed as they thought I was being funny, but no. I was being serious. I fucking hate that guy.
He’s always mean to me and just everything about him bugs me and goes on my nerves. “No!” everybody shouted, when they relised that I indeed was being serious. Nate crabbed my wrist and I turned around gving him the ‘the fuck you want i hate the guy and y’all know it bye!’ look and he smiled . “Just give him a chance.” he said softly. I really didn’t like Ethan, but I wanted to spend time with my best friends and there was more them so I decided to go.
“OKay guys I’m-”hasaid and then he saw me, his browa narrowed. “Hi.” he said with a softness in his voice. That was new to me usually he would just sigh or something. “Hi…” I responded and he smiled a little. “Alright guys! Let’s get going.” Cam shouthed from the car and I giggled. Gray took my bag and put it to the back of the car.
I woke up to Ethan tapping me on my thigh. “Hey, we’re here.” I open my eyes and relise I was sleeping on his shoulder. “Oh sorry… I-” I shuddered and he gave me a soft smile. “That’s okay.” He took his seatbelt off and got out of the car and I did too. “Hey sleepyhead!” Cam said and hugged me as I giggled.
“Okay y/n and Ethan you’ll be sleeping together this time. Nate doesn’t want to hear me snore so we have to switch!” Gray said from the bigger room balcony. I looked at Ethan and he looked shocked. “You cool with that?” I asked him and he nodded giving me a smile, I smiled back.
What was going on with him? Why was he nice to me and is totally okay with me sleeping with him in one bed!? We got up to our room. “Okay guys let’s meet 8pm by the lake. I want to take a nap!” Cam said an Gray answered “Yeah me too bro!” Ethan shouted “Okay!” and shut the door. I just stood there awkwardly. “I’ll go take a shower.” I said and grabbed my bag, Ethan took his shirt off and said “Alright. I’ll take a nap too, I guess.” I nodded and got into the bathroom.
I opened the door quietly and looked at the bed. Ethan was sleeping. I shut the door and put my things down. I took my sleeping things. My huge sweater, a pair on panties and fuzzy socks. I know know it’s revealing, but I thought I’ll be sleeping with Gray and it was totally okay if I slpet like this with him, but Ethan. I take my  sweater and put it over my towel and then taking it off later revealing a little of my naked butt, but I gues it was okay, he was sleeping. I put everything else on and get under the covers. Ethan had turned around, but his eyes were still close, he was stll sleeping. I smiled, he was actually really adorable and I hadn’t even noticed it. “Why do you hate me?” Ethan asked me with his sexy morning voice. I turn around  and look at him.
“I thought you were sleeping.” I answered, his eyes puffy. “Answer me..why?” he repeated his question with a note of sadness in his voice. “ I don’t hate you, you hate me.” I said and looked at him in the eyes. “I don’t hate you, y/n.” he said.
“Yeah you do. You’re always being so mean to me and say stuff that really hurt me.” I said and I saw hurt in his eyes. “I’m really sorry I’ve never wanted to hurt you-” “But why do you say things like ‘that stupid bitch doesn’t know shit about life’!?” I cut him off getting motre and more pissed off. I heard him say that when I was coming down from Grays toom after a sleep over. It did really hurt.
“Y/n, that was not about you. I’d never say something like that about you. Yeah, I’ve said things and did tjings that i regret, but it’s all because I like you, I really do and everytime you’re with Grayson or the others I get jelous. You’re always so cuddly and cute with him and I just wished it was me. I’ve always thought that you’ve hated me. So to keep myself from getting hurt more I just tried to act like I don’t like you. I know it’s wrong and selfish, but I had no other way, y/n.” I did my best to keep myself from crying, but with very little success so I jumped off the bed and ran to the bathroom.
Ethan opened the door and just looked at me. “I love you.” he said and lifted my head to face him. He was on his knees. “Please y/n, please forgive me. I know that you don’t feel the same way, but at least forgive me for doing so wrong.” he said and now I could finally speak again. “You don’t know.” I said almost in a whisper so there would be a chance of him not hearing me, but he did.
“I don’t know what, y/n?” he asked with the softest voice on Earth. “You don’t know… that I.. I have feelings for..” I studderd. “For Grayson. I get it.” he said as he stood up pain screaming it’s way out of his voice. “No, for you Ethan.” I said and looked at him. “You do? Why? I’ve hurt you so much, y/n!” he said, but I knew that inside he was dancing, screaming and jumping in happiness. I laughed and just nodded.
"God, that was the sexiest thing I have ever seen.” he said his eyes now dark filled with lust and passion. “What?” I asked feeling the heat between my legs rise with each second I spent looking at his dark brown eyes. “You laughed, because of me.” he said with a smirk and smashed his lips on mine.
The kiss was passionate and filled with emotions. Each kiss represanted the love he had for you, apologizing for, ehat he had done. You slighlty moan in his lips and that clicks a button in him. He scoots you up and walkd over to the bed.
The next things you know his laying on top of you, kissing your neck and making sure that you’ll be left with dark marks tomorrow.
"They can hear us.” I said to him between the kisses. He looked at me with a smirk on his face “I’ve been waiting for this moment so long. Are you sure?” he asked me. I nodded being still worried about the noise we may make. “You have to be sure, because if you give me a ‘yes’ then I can’t stop later.” he said with the lowest voice I’ve ever heard coming from his mouth and I loved it.
God he’s so amazing. “Yes, I’m sure Ethan, but the others-” he cut me off “I guess we have to be quiet then.” and crashed his lips onto mine. He takes off his shirt and I just can’t stop looking at him. His toned chest and arms. His tanned skin and fast breathing, at this point I knew I loved him. “Like what you see?” he asked me and I giggled. “Yeah, I do. Now get that hot body of yours on mine and fuck me.”
He smiled and did as he was told. He took off my sweater followed by my panties. “You gonna leave my socks on?” I asked him and he laughed. “Yeah, they’re cute. You’re cute, gorgeus, hit and just perfect.” he said and I looked at this beautiful boy.
How I’ve never relised that I loved him? He kissed me softly, but it was full of passion. He kissed my neck, then my collarbone. Each kiss went closer to the place I need him the most. He kissed my clit and a moan escaped my lips. “You gotta be quiet, babe.” he said and started sucking harder on my clit.
He stopped and I looked at him. He kissed me and I could taste myself in the kiss. He put myself to my enterance and looked at me, he entered me and I did my best to hold myself from screaming instead I whispered “Ethaaan!”
He first went slow and let me adjust to his size. “God babygirl, you’re so thight!” he murmured against my ear. “Faster..” I moaned and he picked up the pace.
As he hit me g-spot I felt a ball in my stomach grow bigger and bigger by each thrust. I moaned out his name. I never knew that Ethan could be this good in bed. “I’m gonna cum, baby!”
"Cum for me, y/n!” he whispered to my ear nubbling on my earlobe. “Who makes you feel this good?” he asked me hitting my spot again and again. I could get any words out of my mouth, the pleasure was taking over my body. His thrusts getting sloppier and sloppier, I knew he was close as well.
"You do, Ethan. You do!” I screamed as a wave of ecstasy crashed over my body. The ball of pleasure inside my stomach exploding. “Shit shit shit shit… y/n” Ethan moaned out as I felt his cock twich and explode inside of me. He fell on me, both trying to catch our breaths.
He rolled over next to me and pulled me as close to his body as he could. He kissed my forehead and said “I love you, y/n.” he said and I looked at him. “I love you too, babe.” I said and kissed his lips. “Say that again.” he murmured.
"Babe” I answered in the sexiest voice I could possibly make and he moaned a little making me giggle. “I want you to call me like that.” he said and I nodded. “Be mine.” he asked me kissing my lips. “I’ll be yours, Ethan” I asnwered.
"By the way, it wasn’t the sex talking. Yeah that was fucking amazing, but I do love you y/n and I want you to know that. You mean the world to me, y/n.” he said and hugged me. “I love you too, Ethan” and snuggled against him.
The door to our room opened and Grayson stood there a huge smile on his face. “Finally.” he sighed in relief and I laughed. “Guys! We did it! They’re together!” Cam shouted from the door and everybody started whisteling and screaming. “Nate, you own me 20 bucks!” Cam shouted as he closed our door. “That was not the bet!” he screamed back and I looked at Ethan.
He seemed confused as well. “They had sex as well, hand me over big boy!” he said and we both laughed our lungs out. “Fuck you, guys!” Ethan screamed. “No, we don’t want that!” Gray shouted back.
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shineeoffical · 7 years
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are you going to make a fan account of the concert?? :)
omg i didnt think anyone would care aksksknjf but okay i’ll do one here!!! honestly this was my second time seeing shinee and i really cant believe their level of mastery theyre so good at what they do i’m so blessed to have been able to see my ult group twice and i’m really going to try my best to see them again if i ever have another chance; but ANYWAY i’m putting this into a read more and i’m gonna separate this into members: 
minho: SHINEE’S OWN HYPEMAN HE IS SO ENERGETIC AND HE DOES EVERYTHING TO GET THE CROWDGOING I LOVE HIM he really made sure to wave to EVERYONE; top tier, back rows, people on the side, people in the front EVERYONE. AND i noticed this the first time i saw shinee too: he makes it his priority to leave the stage last and to say goodbye to everyone and he even blew a kiss 🤕 and his singing voice is honestly so beautiful? i really heard an angel i still cant believe this… and really.. he goes OFF when he dances he does everything to a higher degree (HONESTLY? HOW DID HIS PANTS NOT TEAR APART HE WAS PRACTICALLY DOING THE SPLITS EVERY SECOND?) he’s so jumpy and runs around and at one point he was dancing with the back up dancers because shinee had no choreo for that song and the back up dancers were laughing with him? truly an angel. ALSO omg? no one ever mentions this but my baby is so confident in speaking english? he has a few set phrases but he seemed so excited to speak in english and when we cheered after he talked he was beaming 🤧 it was so precious? AND LMAO I’M SORRY THIS IS SO BIASED BECAUSE HE’S MY ULT…. HIS RAPPING…. THANK G O D HE REALLY TRULY SAVED MY LIFE HE PUTS ON THIS PERSONA? WHEN HE RAPS AND GETS REALLY INTO IT AND HIS VOICE IS SO LOW N ITS REALLY TRULY INCREDIBLE…. and related… he does this thing when he’s really into a song and like…. makes this glare face i really…. he’s so dynamic and incredible what a legend jjong: HES SO SWEET? HE WAS TALKING THE MOST AND HE MADE SURE HE WAS TALKING IN SHORT ENOUGH SENTENCES SO THE TRANSLATOR COULD GET EVERYTHING? jjong really also made a point to say that he saw beautiful faces in the crowd AND handsome faces? an icon. anyway jjong is really so powerful his voice is incredible and he really makes it his priority to produce the best vocals that he can i really cant begin to explain how beautiful his voice is in person. also may i add the man has some Upper Body Strength LIKE WHEN HE CHANGED INTO THAT SILK SHIRT? WAW. ALSO omg when the technical difficulties happened during prism he really said “WE NEED YOUR VOICE!” in english to the crowd it was so cute 🤕jinki: I ALREADY SAID THIS IN THE TAGS OF THAT VIDEO BUT JINKI IS REALLY THE CUTEST TJING TO WATCH DANCE HE ALWAYS MAKES CUTE FACIAL EXPRESSIONS AND HES BEAMING A SMILE EVERY TIME HE REALLY WAS HAVING SO MUCH FUN I COULD FEEL HIS ENERGY I LOVED IT SO MUCH. ESPECIALLY during everybody? its one of the hardest dances for shinee but like during the propeller part he was making a scrunchy face it was truly adorable. ALSO when jjong and jinki had their solo stage? they KILLED IT it was so beautiful and soulful and jinki looked so sullen n it was really a piece of art. ALSO ksjddjnd jinki… he really goes off during ready or not and i swear to god it SCARED ME he was spinning so violently and when him and minho had to go up the stairs on the platform he was walking so carefully he must have been dizzy BUT then when he did the spinning moves on the top of the platform? he had to hold onto the wall at the end and minho came over to him to check on him but man he scared me but he was also just really hype apparently.. whatta man  key: KEY!!! HE IS THE KING HONESTLY AND TRULY!!!! key being the fluent™ english speaker became the mc for the show he was so funny skejke he talked about how him minho and jinki went to niagara falls and then exposed jjong and taem for sleeping in ajdksjd it was cute. key also mentioned how he was into watching shinee reaction videos online and he was saying that he feels like he’s seen some of the people he watched online in the crowd and then minho was like WHERE and they started pointing in the crowd (jokingly) AND he also talked about instagram live and how its fun but difficult to do it at a time thats good for everyone but he was mixing up his words and ended up saying “its difficult to turn on when i want to” and the crowd giggled because it sounded so suggestive and minho laughed too it was really funny skdjkd ALSO he seemed to be really surprised at how hard the crowd went to lucifer he made sure to mention it and was like “wow you guys really like lucifer huh” (KIM KIBUM WE LOVED EVERY MOMENT THANK U) and lastly i really have to mention his stage presence is amazing he is so talented when he raps he shuts it down i love it and also? that dance move in prism? you all know what i’m talking about. its lit. taem: BOOOOOOOY TAEM IS SO SOFT SPOKEN N QUIET BUT HIS ENTIRE DEMEANOUR CHANGED IMMEDIATELY WHEN HE PERFORMED SAYONARA HITORI? like at the beginning when they were introducing themselves he was so tiny n quiet and introduced himself but when he got on stage and did sayonara hitori? FULL 360. HE IS SO POWERFUL AND HIS DANCING WAS INCREDIBLE DESPITE THE FACT THAT HE SEEMED REALLY TIRED? LIKE HE REALLY DID ALL THAT AND THEN SOME IT WAS AMAZING? okay also? taemin again. quiet. and at the end of the ments at one part key asked taemin to introduce the next song and he spoke so quiet and jjong literally took taemins head and pushed it into the mike so he would talk louder skskdn taem was laughing i really.. those two. and again. BOy his VOICE. despite the mics not working properly? HE WAS INCREDIBLE? i also feel like there may have been something wrong with his in ears because he took them out and it looked like he ended up turning off the battery pack too at the end but he still performed so incredibly i really cant believe it
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mashyimaro · 6 years
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hello hey what's up i read your post and i just want to say that i'm so proud of you!!!! living alone in a completely new area honestly sounds so daunting but even so you went out there and did that anyway!!! and there will always be times where we won't think that we'll make it because the situation we were in at the time is just that unbearable, but try and use past events and situations to remind yourself that you will make it!!! i'm proud that you made it!!! andeven if you go through tjings
like breakdowns and overthinking, know that they’re okay and normal, that they don’t disrupt your progress!! you’re done great and i’m so proud of you!!!!💛💖💓💞💕 
not to be too nsfw but i treasure you so much and i’m so thankful i know you and i love you a lot a lot a lot and i’d give you the sun and the moon and the stars and all the planets if you asked for it
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one-shoop · 4 years
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I just had basically a panic attack or whatever over my dad calling for dinner. Oh but who would guess being singled out by a scream "FLOOOOOF! COME EEEAT!" every freaking night and told "COME ON HONEY" and "DID YOU HEEEEAR?" "FLOOOOOF?" "FLOOOF? ANSWEEEER?" doesn't give me, the girl who's terrified of eating to the point where she skips meals almost everyday, panic attacks. Dear god i cant freaking eat dad, I CANT EAT BECAUSE IT TRIGGERS MY GODDAMN OCD. But nooooooo. Apparently nobody bothered to ask me my triggers or even do some research after my diagnosis. And forgive me lord if Im not enthusiastic about explaining it myself becase EVERY GODDAMN TIME I TOLD SOMEONE THEY FORCED ME TO DO IT ANYWAYS. Told me "but the food is gooood" and "come oon, you need to eeeeeat" like i stg i'm so fucking tired
Of people telling me for an hour and a half to come fuck myself over with triggers and panic all the way and not be able to eat and be ashamed of myself and feel weak and unable to do anything. Like Jesus guys IT TRIGGERS MY OCD. MEANING THAT I CANT FUCKING EAT PEACEFULLY. I SONT GIVE A SINGLE FUCK IF ITS GOOD OR NOT. ITLL SCARE ME TO FUCKING HELL.
And yeah, for supportive parents they sure are doing the fucking lords job right? After fucking up myself to ask fir help thar never vame and was always denied or stripped to its bare minimums then told to accept that as tje ultimate help, I finally ficking tet someone who validates me and gives me a diagnosis. Ans yoy funky get fuckjng told to your faces that FORCING KIDS TO FACE THEOR FEARS IS THE WORST THING FOR THEIR HEALTH. And MAYBE if you knew anything at fucking all you'd fucking realize that when I HAVE NEVER ASKED FOR HELP OUT OF FEAR OF BEING SHAMED FOR IT, maybe is your fault???? And maune it impedes on mh recovery???? And maube i shouldn't be the only one to fucking take stepd to retake that???? Im all foe fu king getting the help I gucking need but for fucks sake cant any of you look like you can more for, I dunno, fucking parenting, other than whatever fycking meal you're having???? Is it roo kuch to ask to help me retake my right to asking for the hospital since its been mentioned at that same fucking meeting we talk about that I've tried asking for goddamn help and you said no????
Like you had a goddamn professional tell you that WHEN YOUR KIDS WANT HELP, YOU CANT DENY IT. And that by pretending that I jad to tough it up, you fucked me up way more. And thw most I got was a half assed sentence of "BUT IM PLACING ALL THE BLAME ON MYSELF, ITS UNHEALTHY" as fucking soon as the goddamn bells rang.
Like you had the nerve to ACXUSE ME of NOT asking for help and fucking NOT telling you anything. Ans believe it or not I STILL FUCLING THOUGHT THAT about a second ago. But honestly? WHY THE FUCK SHOULD ANULNE BE HONORABLY FORCED TO ASK FOR HELO THAT TJEU KNOW WILL NEGER VOME??? JUST SO YOU CAN SAY I WAS THE PERFECT VICTIM WHO STILL BELIEVED IN YOU???? BECAUSE AFTER ALL THIS CRAP, AFTER BEING TOLD THE TRUTH, THE FIRS TTHING IM TOLD WHEN WE GET OUT IS THAT I NEED "TO TRUST YOU MORE"? AND "TELL YOU ABOUT MY FEELINGS?" am I someone's fucking puppet here??? Do you just want ro ficking play with me until youre done?????
Like what the fuck???? YOU THOUGHT I "DID THE WRONG THING" BY NOR ASKING COR HELP. BUT YOU SONS OF DEMONS, YOU HAVE ALWAYS KNOWN YOUR PHILOSOPHY WAS THAT FUCKED UP PIECE OF MENTALITY FROM THE GODDAMN FARK AGES THAT YOU NEED TO TELL YOUR KIDS TO FUCK OFF. OKAY??? YPU KNEW THAT ENOIGJ TO EXPLAIN IT IN BARF-INCUDING CLARITY HOW APPARENTLY ONE SINGLE GUCKING BOOK ON ANXIETY IN KDIS WAS ENOUGB TO RID YOU OF YOUR ENTIRE HUMAN BRAIN AND SUDDENLY IT DIDNT MATTER HOW MUCH WE CRIED AND BEGGED AND GELT ALONE AND NEEDED YOUR SHIR COMFORT, TOU DIDNT CARE???? WELL FUESS WHAT???? THE FIRS TTHING YOU TELL ME WHEN SHE SPEAKS, BLESS THWT DOCTIR, IS THAT I DONT EVEN ASK FOR HELP. and bless me I told them YO I ASKED FOR THE HOSPITAL AND YOU TOLD ME I WASNT SICK ENOUGH. AND YOU BOTH HAD THE GODDAMN MIND TO REFUTE IT. UNTIL MOM TOLD DAD TO STOP BEXAUSE "SHES RIGHT, ITS OUR FAULT, OUR BAD".
Like what the fuck??? Tou already knew that you wouldn't have given any help anyways??? Why the fuck am I even supposed to fucking ask??? Why did you EVER tell me to ask??? Was ir so you could feel fucking welcome??? So you could feel so fucking badass and awesome telling me the goddamn word of light exquisite and God Almighty in his tree in heaven that "FIND AOLUTIONS AND STOP CRYING"???? OR, NO, WAIT, EZCUSE ME, WAD I SUPLOSED TO COME SEE YOU SO YOU COULD PEP-TALK ME INTO FUCKING OFF FROM FEELINGS LAND AND "FIND SOLUTIONS"??? Did you want to feel like you gave me comfort without actually giving me some??????
Like what the fuck???????????? And -- why the FUCK foes it STILL appear smart tp tell me to fucking TELL YOU SHIT? GUYS I TOLD TOU MORE SHOT I WAS LEGALLY ONLIGATED TO. YOU CAME TO MEET MY THERAPISTS. YOU GOT THE BRIEFINGS WITH ME WHEN I INVITED YOU. YOU GOT TO SEE MY PSYCHIATRIST, AND MY DOSSIER, AND MY MEDS. I TOLD YOU I NEEDED A LISTENING EAR AND NOT AFVICE, I TOLD YOU I FELT SCARED SOMETIMES OF EATING, I TOLD YOU ABOUT MY OBSESSIONS, I ASKED YOU IF I COULD GO TO BE HOSPITALIXED BECASUE OCD GOT TOO BAD.
And you laughed at my fuccking obsessions. When i was a kid my biggest trigger was barfing, and bile. And guess fucking what? You fucking laughed around and invented the worst fucking single thing ever to say "fuck you get better" which was switching the goddamn syllables together and fuckinf singing it to me like it was fine now. Fucking laughing at me whenever ai had goddamn panic attacks. I diagnosed my own goddamn trigger at, what, ten? BUT I NEGER ASKED FOR HELP BECAUSE YOU FUCKINF LAUGHED AT ME EVERYTIME I CLOSED MY EYES AND MY EARS AND PANICKED TO CHANGE THE TOPIC. I WAS FUCKING UNCOMFORTABLE. I COULD NOT BEAR IT. AND WHEN YOU SAW A TERRIFIED CHILD, YOU SID NOTHING EXCEPT LAUGH AND SAY "there, now they're done with talking, tou can stop closing your ears now". YOU FUCLING NOTICED JN THE WORST WAY POSSUVLR. I REGRET SHOWING YOU THE FIRST ENTRY I MADE ON THIS. I WAS SO ASHAMED OF IT. I THOUGHT IT EAS WRONG. OR SHAMEFUL. AND -- GUESS WHAT? I THOUGHT IT WAS YNIQUE TO MEZ TOO. IT WA THE SINGLE MOSR SCARY TJING IN MY EXIDTENCE. MY CHEST BURNED AND SQUINTED AND I FELT JOT AND I CRIED AND VRIED AND BEGGED AND YELLED IN MY HEAD FOR PEOPLE TO STOP, IN THE BUS, AT SCHOOL, AT HOME. AND IF YOUD BEEN SLIGHTLY GIOD AT YOUR FUCKINF JOB I MOGHT HAVE TOLD YOU FUVKASSES. BHT NO. AND GUEDS WHAT? UNLESS WHST YOUVE FUCKING TOLD ME, BEING IN PAIN IS NOT ONLY VALID OR UNSHAMEFUL WHEN YOU ASK ADULRS WHAT TO DO. FOR HOW FUCLING LONG HACE I BEEN TOLD THAT PAIN DOESNT MATTER UNLESS AN ADULT IS ON THE CASE? HOW LONG HACE U WANRED SOMEWHRRE WHERE GODDAMN ADULTS DIDNT FUCK YOU OVER? DIDNT CONTR EVERY THOUGHT YOH HAD? WHERE SAYING "YOURE WRONG" ISNT AN INSULT? WJERE KIDS ARENT JUST DENIED A COICE BECAUSE THEYRE KIDS?
Ughhhhh.how many times should I get convinced that your help is worth crap? That searching for your goddamn advice and "comfort" is of any goddamn help? That what shit you give me is actually good enough?? What this it worth my time? That I should be looking at myself??? That i should be squinting and hating myself???? That I'm not worth saving??? That -- goddamnit. God fucking samn jt. Goddamnit im so done with all these excuses. I'm so fucking -- I wanted help, I wanted love, I wanted excuses and loce and light and fear and farkness and friends and family and I cant even talk anymore. I cant talk from myf eeljngs anu.kre. I have ti go on goddamn instinct because my goddamn vortex is fucked up. I realize I eas incpaable of having a mental nature by myself at 8. When I eas alone, I couldn't feel anything. I felt aimless, I just felt nothing. I couldnt bring myself to feel anything. I ducking mtocied that, and yes, tou noticed to, but your goddamn reaction was to tell me to get a life and stop obsessing about that friend I used to play with and just learn to do shit myself and do shit on my own. (Basically, to my own stupid ass brain, this trainwreck of a sentence means I was like a kid who needed autonomy from their parents and needed to learn their life was their own.) Bur yeah!!!! Whenever I was alone I didnt give a shit!!!! I felt aimless!!! Lost!!! Shitty!!!!! And when I first saw myself as a disgusting hump of crap I was 10, I wss running happily and sang a song about witches ans I saw myseld in my head and god I looked like garbage and I hated it. I hated what I looked like. I resented the idea that people had to see me. I thought, why do people even stay with me, I'm disgusting. I can never pinpoint the reason becauee yes, my brain is that fucked-up. Someday it will be back.
But seriously. Does anyone else have old stores from early teens where everyone kept fuclibg Escalon without telling their parents?where kids didnt go home? Where the bes tthi g ws just leaving forever? Anyone think the second arc of Warriors was the bestBEXAUE THEY LEAVE and you KNOW they'll leave and you KNOW things are always better and sorry Leafpaw bur I hated tour arc like goddamn shit itself because SCREW THE CLANS, I hate them and I wanted ro leave anywhere that ft like home.
What do kids feel about their homes? Do fhey ever wish they moved? Do they ever seriously ask themselves why the fuck anyone would want to live here? Do they find it unnapealing? Are you supposed go be HAPPY to come home after a trip? Are you supposed to feel completely shitty from coming back, like a failure? Like you weren't supposed to come back, you were supposed to stay awau forever?
Did any kids have zero track of time? Did any kids watch old videos from babytime and realize that there's just something fucking terrifying about it without knowing fucking why?
I saw a kid watch a video on repeat of her dad doing something random like, an old baby recording from when the kud was running in the hallway and he caught her. She watched it on repeat for so, so long , until her phone stopped working I think. And i Remember being touched in a way I neger knew possible, and telling myself from the top of my ripe old 13th year, well thars not something ive ever done or wanted to do. I remember going, why the fuck would you do that? Aren't you happy hes gone? Aren't you happy to be gone?
I remember being straight terrified of my paternal grandmother at 5 only to realize yeara later that she used to be violent and terribly abusive to everyone. I remember being terrified of my aunt's husband, and feeling something undescribable that felt lile a stabbing wound in my aunt's eyes, until I finally learned that he used to beat her. I remembwr hating Éric Salvail for some reason and being really u comfortable around him until BAM, guess who was a goddamn creep and sexual harrassment pro? This guy. I remember so many fucking things that made me uncomfortable and it turned out to be right, about people at least.
But I remember hating my own picture for as long as I can remember. My face unsettles me. I never fully write why, or go to the end of my thoughts. I have problems, I know. I hope knowing what they are will help.
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