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inb4 i will be called a genwunner but i just… dont feel excited about any new pokemon game releases. pokemon has become mathematical the older it gets with EV’s and IV’s and what else you got and while its great for anyone who really likes maths and/or has a special interest in it, i just dont see the appeal anymore.

right now with diamond and pearl getting a remake, i feel sad cause have they really beat the dead horse that is silver/gold/crystal for too long? i just dont feel nostalgic anymore whenever i see a new game announced. let’s go eevee/pikachu was the R/B/Y gen for the switch, which i really love to play but i want to see some representation for G/B/C. i would gladly learn stats and new types and mega/giga evos for a remake. 

everything after gen5 is just… meh. i still liked unova not only cause of the characters but also cause of the pokemon but i played 5 minutes of X/Y and got bored instantly for some reason. i don’t know why but it just.. isnt the same? like, it’s progressively changing further away from its original concept. 

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cringe culture is really something huh? like throwback to that one time in 7th grade when i mentioned i liked undertale in class when introducing ourselves and almost everyone collectively went “ewwww”. like people are that inclined to shame other people for their interests because it’s the “cool” thing to do

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#cheyrants#family tw#suicide mention tw#self harm tw#idk what other tw but yeah#anyways i just need to... idk#i want to talk about it but at the same time idk where to start#and honestly all i want to do is scream. i wanna drive to a cliff and scream and just drop down into the ocean and drown or whatever idrc#i'm just so tired of being alive at this point like....#i'm kinda stuck in the middle cuz rn there's a rift between my mum and my bro#and i'm torn because i want to support them both but they also get on my nerves so much#and like if i side one person then the other will think i'm horrible for not siding with them and it's just too much sometimes???#not to mention the stress from my assignments are driving me insane and i can't focus between that and my family issues#and i'm just caught in this loop of helplessness and i feel like shit and the suicidal thoughts are all coming back and i've apparently#escalated to scratching myself until there are marks now and i honestly dk what i'm doing anymore#but today i couldn't take it and my brother triggered me and i couldn't stop crying during dinner#and my mum in her usual fashion just pinned the blame all on herself like 'oh youre crying so this must be my fault' like no it's not so why#are you blaming yourself for it? you didnt even bother to ask about what made me cry you just assumed it's about you#and then she just kept on rambling on about how it's her fault and how her life has so many problems and now I AM A PROBLEM because i broke#down and then i said 'okay im sorry i wont cry anymore' because idw to be a burden or problem to her but she scoffed and went 'look at your#attitude' like okay so she basically just invalidated my feelings#and then she said smtg along the lines of 'i regret taking custody of you kids' cuz she thinks that my bro and i love my dad a lot but NO#I HATE MY FATHER WITH ALL MY BEING WHY DO YOU CONSTANTLY KEEP ASSUMING THAT I LOVE HIM?? THAT ASSHOLE? WHO BORROWED MONEY? WHO LEFT? AND YOU#EXPECT ME TO LOVE HIM? the same dude who told his own daughter to 'never have kids because they ruin everything'??#idk i just feel like... there's a lot on my chest rn and i constantly can't breathe properly and yeah i guess this anxiety or whatever is#stressing me out more and idk what to... i just feel like shit at home and i feel like shit in school and i just feel so unwanted & unneeded#this rant ended up being about my mum im sorry but this is mostly cuz of my brother... his entire presence is a trigger for my anxiety#which sucks because i dont have a choice but to see him everyday. plus he's an attention seeker so if i try to avoid him he doesnt respectit#she called me out to 'talk' so im gonna be back with a lot of tears again bye
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my mom and my brother cannot appreciate criminal minds on the same level as me. i’m just a different breed mf 🥶💯💪😈

#i mean like I KNOW ITS JUST A SHOW BUT LIKE#it’s one of those shows that really gets to me emotionally sometimes and there have been SEVERAL EPISODES that really stick with me that#the two of them don’t even like give a shit about and i’m like???? how are you not crying rn why are you not fucked up rn#and at risk of sounding like the rick and morty copypasta (you know the one) i feel like it’s one of those shows you need to view as more#than like a cop/crime show because IT IS more than that and i don’t think they can really see it as much else bc they watch it so casually#and they don’t even remember some of the episodes that have HIT ME SO HARD#i’m watching the whole series in order from the beginning rn and they are too but i’m a good season ahead of them bc i binge it and they#dont and i asked my mom if they’d watched the adam/amanda episode yet (bc that one FUCKED ME UP ON ANOTHER LEVEL IT JUST MADE ME SO SAD) and#she said no but then i walk into the living room an hour ago and THEYRE SO FAR PAST THAT??? LIKE YOU DONT EVEN REMEMBER??? I WATCHED THAT#SPECIFIC EPISODE WEEKS AGO AND I STILL THINK ABT IT CONSTANTLY AND SHE DIDNT EVEN REMEMBER????#for context the episode i’m referring to is s4e20 and like?? i just feel like either IM TOO INVESTED or they’re not invested in the show#enough bc i literally think about poor adam all the time and i was a WRECK after that episode bc he deserved SO MUCH BETTER AND ITS SO SAD#THE WAY THINGS ENDED UP FOR HIM AND NO I WILL NEVER GET OVER IT#anyways back to my original point my mom and brother are NOT capable of truly appreciating goddamn criminal minds for WHAT IT IS bc they#just like?? don’t GET IT the same way i do and i know that it’s narcissistic to be like oh if you don’t like this thing the same way i do ur#wrong but like THATS NOT THE POINT THERE ARE SO MANY EPISODES THAT SHOULD HAVE STUCK WITH THEM THAT JUST DIDNT AND IT MAKES ME MAD FOR SOME#GODDAMN REASON AND NO I WILL NOT BE TAKING CRITICISM#anyways if you read all this you’re braver than the us marines and may be entitled to financial compensation for your troubles#rant in tags
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my main regret from my tes blog is i didn’t talk about sondas drenim enough

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Loki’s the only one actually trying not to get them to go at all, or telling the guard as a preventative measure, or stalling with Heimdall, or not going under pretense of peace in ceremonial battle armour, or accepting the peaceful offer to leave jotunheim, but no one cares about Thor starting a war because Loki’s King which is Bad and Oh!! he must be Up To Something™ planning to steal Thor’s position this whole time!!

And what makes it even worse that they know their lives were saved but instead focus on how Thor was banished because Loki told the guard instead of how he wasn’t killed but only after Loki reveals his part in it!!


Loki even explains why he did it. And they all know he’s right about Thor not being ready!! But then Sif brings up that he’s jealous as an argument and no one disagrees!! 


Fandral even points out how ridiculous their accusations sound, but he still goes with them and follows along.


And then Loki tells them he’s king and they show no respect and ask for every other alternative to dob to, and he has to remind them he’s the ruler and he gives them another valid explanation along with the earlier one about why it’s better for Thor to be banished a bit!!


And now you’re thinking “hey, it’s okay, at least Asgard’s most loyal gatekeeper won’t support their idiotic accusations and help them commit treason” but then think again!: 


So we have Loki who already starts out getting no respect not even gain any support when he’s King. And he’s already been doubting his place in the world because he’s already having the Jotun/Laufeyson identity crisis! He is going around reminding people he’s King to reassure himself that not everyone is going to betray or abandon him… even as he takes note of all their behaviour indicating otherwise.


Is it any surprise Loki’s plan only required himself? Everyone else turned cloak in a time of war for the imbecile and the only one who accepted the legitimacy of his Kingship and his word… was also Thor, who he wasn’t the brother of, who was on Earth as a mortal, who Loki was being pitted against for the purpose of filling the slot of son/heir and reasonably thought would kill him on sight if he knew he was Jotun :) 

 And! As an extra bonus fun feature, it’s extra fun to remember that thanks to the deleted scene at the beginning of the film we know Loki is honest and open to the point where he speaks and admits that he gets jealous, but he doesn’t mind because he loves Thor.


He admits to his faults. Deleted opening scene of Thor 1 and he literally does what Frigga vilifies him for in Thor 2. 

Loki is literally that good a person. He means the best for Thor despite blatant favouritism and being overshadowed his whole life and the degrading comments where he’s looked down on for his skills. And along with everything else he faces in the film Loki comes to realize that it amounts to nothing because despite everything he’s ever done everyone doubts his love for Thor and loyalty to Asgard and he has no one that’s going to side with him regardless of who is right or wrong. Loki’s been on the best behaviour he could the past millennia of his life trying to be a good son a good brother and good friend and the second he inadvertently attains the throne there is not one person who will believe he intends to do well by it. 

#loki was. like. crying for over half his screen-time. having so many fears confirmed. figuring out how abusive his parents were.#here you've got a character that's never understood why things are different for him who has been told his whole life they're not#he's a prince who literally had to pull rank when king and still got no one's respect???#everyone just decided to side with thor because they assume he's up to no good#just because they were right doesn't make what any of them did a good thing#loki really lost his family himself his friends any shred of self-esteem and his home over the course of a few days#he managed to keep his cool except at the start and end of it all at which points he just needed someone's affirmation#you know how sad it is that Thor gets told he's already made Odin proud? Right after Loki's suicide which everyone is impartial to?#because Frigga is all ''make your father proud'' and the last time Loki speaks to her he says ''i'll make you proud''#Loki's goal the entire film was just to do whatever it takes to be something his maybe-parents would be proud of#and being noble and kind and himself a thousand years wasn't doing it#of course he went with trying the most violent course of action when trying to flip the script and make himself a hero#and then that doesn't work either and I wonder if Loki even felt any different in the following years when he went through more stuff alone?#I wonder if he just accepted it and resigned himself to never having anyone on his side regardless of what he does so he'll do what he wants#because that's what I see happening in the movies that come after#and it's definitely just another reason to laugh when the Warriors 3/4 threaten him because isn't it ironic that they fear his betrayal?
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Yeah, it seems that almost all the content for Adayu/Adasou is on Japanese sites like Pixiv and whatnot. And of course, I don’t understand Japanese but I really really really wish I did. Before I found Pixiv, though, I was struggling to find content for these two. I remember thinking to myself, “If any place has got it, it’s gotta be Tumblr!” Que me discovering that the tag is relatively dry, at least compared to what I was expecting. It made me so sad, and I resolved to create more for the tag even if I had to do it all single-handed. I’m not the best artist ofc, not by a long shot, but it’s something, y’know? I encourage anyone who’s into the pairing to post more on the site (if you’re comfortable with it!!) regardless of what you think of your own art/writing. It’s all beautiful to me :’)

Hshhshshshhdh the funny thing is there seem to be two distinct tags on Pixiv for the pairing (Pixiv is really the only site I know well and trust enough) and one tag is mostly top!Adachi, while the other is mostly bottom!Adachi, lmfao. I think the first one though had more posts for it. Personally, I prefer Adachi as a top in he pairing—I just can’t really see him willingly giving more control to his partner (I mean, he could be a power bottom ig, but I can’t see even that happening) but it doesn’t mean that I don’t respect and understand why someone would prefer him to be the bottom. Regardless, this pairing is gold and it needs MOOOOOREEE MUHAHHAHAHHAHAAHHAH

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I don’t know who needs to hear this (me, the answer is me)

but being good at something =/= it coming effortlessly

it’s okay if you need to do tons of research before writing

it’s okay if it takes you over an hour to get your base sketch ready

it’s okay if you need to edit a work thrice for it to be grammatically correct

there is no hurry, there is no competition

art is healing, and more than any audience, more than any friend, your art is for you

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