#I MEAN. LIKE NOT A BIG DEAL THOUGH

[good-beans]

this is so stupid but i always have fun imagining the milgram characters watching their own/others mvs and seeing their reactions, especially for MeMe

That’s not stupid at all, thank you so much for the ask!! It’s sooo interesting to think about! I planned on just posting this drabble, but the more I thought about it, the more I started jotting down headcanons for everyone 👀 Of course there’s the initial disbelief and shock that Milgram can really do what it claims, but once they accept that, they’d have a lot of interesting reactions…

Es gets to watch the video first, then the prisoners are free to watch their own in the privacy of the courtroom/extraction room/wherever. Other prisoners can watch them only with explicit permission from the video’s singer. No one is allowed to watch Undercover except for Es. At first they spend hours looking at those final frames of themself flinching from the camera, hoping to jog any sort of memories, but eventually they give up on it. While actually watching it, they don’t mind the murder silhouettes. While sleeping, however, it has triggered more than one nightmare.

Haruka: He thinks Weakness is very pretty – he’s amazed seeing himself on the screen and hearing his voice, knowing he’s not that good of a singer. Even before his innocent verdict, it gives him a huge surge of confidence. Once he gets to know the others better, he gives them mv permissions, then stares intently at their faces to see their reactions as they watch it. AKAA scares him a bit, seeing his own intense emotions on screen, and he only gives Muu permission to see it. When he’s alone, Haruka pauses the shots of his mother, just to stare for a while.

Yuno: Laughs at the symbolism her mind used in Umbilical. She’s never shied away from sexual words/thoughts, so it's funny the video was as tame as it was. She thinks the song is fun, and isn’t afraid to show the others and sing snippets of it around the prison. Some days it’s too emotional for her to get into it, but most of the time she tries to display a confident attitude about it. After Tear Drop, she’s satisfied with her anger and more overtly sexual images. If anything, she feels too exposed by the shots of herself looking more vulnerable/sad. 

Fuuta: He experiences a solid mix of embarrassment at the gaming theme in Bring it On and feeling a surge of pride that he looks badass in the knight’s armor. He’s worried the warden won’t take him seriously with the video game obsession, but he absolutely loves the song and thinks it portrays his toughness and ideals well. He’s less thrilled with Backdraft, everything about it unsettles and embarasses him. He’s thrown by the shot of crossing out his own silhouette – he’d had self-harming thoughts, but wasn’t quite ready to confront them so blatantly yet. Like Haruka, he can be caught pausing the arcade shot just for a moment before turning the whole thing off and storming away.

Muu: She has mixed emotions towards After Pain. She hates seeing herself look so weak and pathetic, but it gives her a lot of hope that her story will be understood. She misses her friends, and seeing them again is bittersweet. She closes her eyes at the moment of the stabbing – she’s only gotten the courage to watch it through her fingers once. She watches INMF once, then refuses to look at it again from shame/horror. Despite Haruka’s begging, she doesn’t let him watch it, either. 

Shidou: He asks Es what they saw in Throw Down. Upon finding out his family wasn’t in it, he chooses not to watch it. He believes he already knows all about his emotions and crime, so there’s no need to go through that pain again. He’s tempted to watch it when he’s confused about Es’ verdict, but still holds off. He does watch Triage when informed his family is in it. He spends hours in front of the screen by himself. Only after seeing that one does he watch Throw Down, though he’s still left confused about Es’ decisions.

Mahiru: Absolutely loves TIHTBILWY. She thinks it perfectly describes her situation, and that the song is very cute. She lets others watch it, and unlike Yuno, feels like singing it 24/7. It reminds her of her bf, and she thinks that’s very romantic. Similar to Shidou, she spends a lot of time watching I Love You just to look at her boyfriend. She shows it to everyone, just to show him off and talk about him, even if she does skip over the beginning and end each time.

Kazui: He is very similar to Shidou; he refuses to watch his videos until T2, assuming it would be too painful to watch something he already knows and wishes to avoid. Unlike Shidou, seeing Hinako is far too painful, and he regrets watching it and seeing her so happy on their wedding day. Though maybe he’s still waiting, and hasn’t seen any of the videos yet…

Amane: Magic makes her worry more than anything. She fears she’s poisoned by unnecessary vainness since so much of her video involves cute things, colors, outfits, animals, and is set up like a tv show. She’s also worried that Es and the others will really see her as a child because of how cute the whole thing is. She prevents herself from watching it too many times, but buried under all her fears, it gives her a surge of pride seeing herself so talented and pretty and the star of the show. Purge March only reaffirms her confidence in her crime – the video brings up some awful memories, but it shows her as a leader, a warrior, a hero! It brings her comfort and confidence more than anything.

Mikoto/John: The videos are distressing to both of them, and they spend all their time studying the others’ screentime. Mikoto watches in horror as John does things that line up with his spotty memories, and John panics seeing that his actions distress Mikoto more than they’ve reassured/saved him. John does end up watching his own scenes a few times – it feels incredibly good to appear in a way that Mikoto may finally notice him. He feels seen. Now, logically I think that MeMe would be the final tipping point in which Mikoto finally accepts the situation and his DID, but if I must stick to his canon denial, then I’d say he goes on a whole rant about movie magic andt the crazy things you can do with editing nowadays. He doesn’t have a good explanation on how Milgram found his home and knew so much about him, but he explains everything away as cgi or camera effects. Double manages to sway him a bit more, as he hears John speak so plainly to him. Just as the audience had some debate on who was apologizing at the end of Double, Mikoto and John wonder who is apologizing to whom. Though they both come to the conclusion it’s their own apology, they decide that if it was the others’, they’d accept it and forgive them.

Kotoko: She’s very pleased with Harrow, and is unashamed to show it to the others. Though she’d been able to watch a few of the previous prisoners’ videos, it still shakes her a bit when she realizes that Milgram really does have the tech to look deep inside her. She watches it just a few times – not obsessing over it, but not afraid either. Deep Cover, however, is a once-and-done sort of deal. She claims she’s not letting the others watch it because “they couldn’t handle such harsh but true criticisms about themselves,” but she doesn’t end up watching it anymore herself, either.

#milgram #es #haruka sakurai #yuno kashiki #fuuta kajiyama #muu kusunoki #shidou kirisaki #mahiru shiina #kazui mukuhara #amane momose #mikoto kayano #kotoko yuzuriha #thank you so much! and for being patient 😅 #i didnt mean to take so long but i kept chipping away at ideas while i got to this one #these were so much fun to think about!! i went for more emotional ones here but i do have silly thoughts too #i have that silly post about them making a competition after seeing each others mvs #though -even if they dont make it outwardly a big deal like that #i think they definitely would silently compare their videos/crimes to each others and decide whose was better #i still stand by the fact that fuuta asks kotoko if shes a furry after seeing harrow sdfasdf #i cant imagine kazui allowing anyone in the prison to watch his but IF he did #fuuta would also ask if he was a furry after cat ADSFSADF #i think the reactions t1 would be pretty positive/comforting #but in t2 theres a lot less pleasantries and compliments #aside from the obvious deep insights the videos give i think theyd reveal a lot of sweet similarities #like appreciation for flowers or cooking or performance or video games or music genres #but by t2 everyones on edge and suspicious of each other #or ashamed themself :( #i think its really cool imagining who would want to share theirs and who would keep theirs private... #rose posts

[skunkes]

i have soooo much more i cld say abt him, and have explored more thru other doodles, but quick summary of talon's whole deal, which is subject to change still as he's only almost 2 yrs old as an oc

#oc text #obvs sparse description of the events bc i dont mean for it to be gratuitous #even if i decided to explore it further in some medium the focus wouldnt be gratuitous ykwim #not that there werent awful stuff within that but my focus with talon is also more exploration of like #even stuff that isnt a big deal (which it wasnt at first) can effect someone greatly #and then once it does get a bit worse the focus is still more on the effects of how he views himself and the aftermath #AS WELL AS LIKE. well. did i do this to myself? i went back. do i deserve this? #he's a lot like me and the reason i like the self insert dynamic is bc he thinks of cheye as Me If It Didnt All Go Horribly #bc ive not gone thru the Extreme but i have had interactions with ppl who very enthusiastically thought i was ummmm underage!!! #while they were already being creepy toward me and making me nervous abt my safety ! #so this isnt ''he's umm 400 but looks 12 bc i want to do weird shit with him 😏'' dude drawing him Fed makes me so sad sometimes... #we're also weird eating buddies <3 #and grief buddies <3 he actually further spawned out of my need to deal with a lot of family members passing away in such a short time #severe death phobia buddies... #i still dont know how he really feels about his Old Wrinkly Form btw all i know is he feels safe in it #as much as id love to sway toward ''he thinks he's hot like that. because he is.'' i also dont want to convey the wrong message wrt this #form being due to....disordered eating caused by Issues. ykwim #though! he can shapeshift quite well when he's fed and maybe he'd choose that form willingly if he ever got. Past everything #he does hate that he never gets to actually age...! he wishes he cld age normally like a mortal...(still scared of dying though) #but we cant knoww for certain yet ykwim. maybe he'll let me know soon. #my issue with talon other than i suck at plots is well he has too many of my issues. and. idk how to solve them. #he's growing with me. #oh and have we noticed he's mean to me when *im* being mean to me...MANY such metaphors #ok goodnite

[misted-buttercup-enjoyer]

Toby Fox exclusively writes 3 types of love stories

An awkward sweetheart (with a dark side) crushing on a strong, hunky lady (see Undyne and Alphys, Susie and Noelle)

Divorced (see Toriel and Asgore, Spamton and Jevil, King and Queen [even if they're not actually divorced, you know they're divorced])

Queerplatonic-coded, but no one seemed to get the memo (see Sans and Toriel, Asgore and Rudy)

#please note that the ships mentioned above are my personal ships and if you don't agree go to hell I MEAN thats fine I respect your opinion #(seriously though it's not a big deal shipping is just for fun!) #i usually don't post things too ship related but I felt like this needed to be said #queerplatonic soriel #queerplatonic Asgorudy #soriel #shipping #undertale ships #those two words almost destroyed the fandom #toriel x asgore #toriel x sans #asgore x rudy #alphyne #undyne x alphys #suselle #susie x noelle #spamton x jevil #king x queen #oh they're divorced #super divorced

[aroaessidhe]

2023 reads // twitter thread

To Shape A Dragon’s Breath

YA fantasy

a young Indigenous girl finds & bonds with a dragon hatchling - the first time in many generations for her people - and is required to go to the coloniser’s dragon academy in their mainland city, to learn how to raise her dragon and the science of its magic

historical inspired setting on the cusp of industrial revolution with steampunk vibes

bi polyamorous MC, Black lesbian SC, nonverbal autistic SC

#To Shape A Dragon’s Breath #aroaessidhe 2023 reads #this is really really good i loved it! #the chapter titles are all like snippets of a story. or like sentence fragments that match up. which is cool #it is definitely more about being indigenous in a coloniser institution than Dragon School - not Super dragon heavy if you want that #I suspect the subsequent books will get into that when she gets big enough to ride and stuff #t’s also def YA! i’ve seen a few ppl assume it’s adult and be like its very young :( but like. I mean its perfectly reasonable for a 15yo m #definitely a Lot of racism and colonialism which is not fun to read! though it's still through a YA lens. there was def a part of me that #was imagining consequences of the narrative as if it were an adult novel #on that line of thought - at the end a lot of it is kind of solved by them going to the king and he's is like. oh no racism is happening? #that's bad i'll deal with those people! which felt like. a little simplistic. but maybe the easiest way to end the narrative for book 1 - #I don't think the author ACTUALLY is going to portray the king as a Good Guy throughout the series - it just felt conveniently like - #a simple YA solution to some very big and complex elements? if that makes sense? (but again - it is YA so it's allowed I suppose!) #some of the worldbuilding (like all the science learning) is probably setup for next books - we don’t really see any practical application #the romances are also subtle and not Overbearing In Book One which i like - leave some space for the series! #also her getting fanmail from a 10yo mixed race girl who looks up to her 🥺 #anyway. i really loved it! #oh also it reminded me a little of leviathan. i guess just the steampunk/time period/european culture.... #To Shape A Dragon's Breath

[ride-a-dromedary]

Tell me how it is that star boy says: "What you CANNOT do, is make my decisions for me." and yet I see that very thing happening in fandom whenever this character makes a decision surrounding how he is handling dealing with his trauma that people don't like, by *deciding for him* how he's actually feeling?

#BG3 Musing #not making a big deal just annoyed af that every. single. day. i see paragraphs and paragraphs #(And I'm not talking Ascension I'm talking like consenting to a foursome and realizing he doesn't like it #- which is....something you are allowed to do btw. healing isn't linear or fixed by one thing it's a bunch of little decisions) #this man is pixels - i promise the paragraphs and praragraphs especially on things of alternate interpretation are not needed #if you're going to quote back on singular lines but ignore others entirely in this conversation maybe y'don't know as much as you think #'he's lying though he doesn't really mean it!!' - how do you know he's not still lying to you then #'he doesn't want to lose *blank* so he's placating!!' maybe but as far as he is expressing and according to dev notes and post cazzy #he is not - he genuinely believes what he is saying so like...you're making that decision of whether he can consent?

[babacontainsmultitudes]

:0 feeling a tad down today if anyone feels like rambling in the tags (or sending in asks) about literally whatever! What you're up to, how your day was, secrets that no one is supposed to know, all that jazz! Could use stuff to read and distract myself with.

#not down about the poll itself or the results just people being kinda mean idk #and seeing my own words get taken out of context for bad faith misinterpretations #also just kind of a lonely day #Didn't sleep enough either #None of which is ultimately a big deal but like I said- distractions appreciated! #Also still sick so that doesn't help lol #Better than I was though

[candied-cae]

I am super fucking pissed about Wee John in this last episode.

Why. The. Fuck. Was. He. Not. Included. AT. ALL. During. The. Escape??????????

Legitimately, where the fuck was he? I was fuming for a lot of that because he's my favorite character, so I was looking for him. While everyone was stripping the English of their uniforms and getting dressed up (at least partially) in disguise, he is the only character not included.

They make a point about Fang not getting a proper shirt, which already pissed me off enough, that he had to wear what was essentially prison stripes while everyone else was in uniform, but Wee John wasn't even there. He wasn't in the raid. He wasn't in the run down the beach.

He just wasn't even fucking there. And if it was something Kristian decided he didn't want to worry about hurting himself over, particularly looking out for his back and knees, I understand not asking him to run over and over again for reshoots. But the fact that he didn't even get dressed with them... and that's the second time he's been excluded from a plan apparently due to his size (remember that he didn't get to participate when The Revenge dressed up as rich boys for Nigel Badminton)...

It is legitimately breaking my heart. One of the things I love about this show is the love is gives to its fat characters and actors. Fang gets to have his tummy out 24/7 and he's treated like a snack by Lucius, Wee John got to have an incredible dress, Oluwande is the crew's most eligible bachelor, and we even got a delightful fat character in 2x07 who spent his whole time dressed in only some leather halters and pants...

But the fact that Wee John was singled out and left behind, and the fact that Fang was singled out and othered at that very same time... It fucking hurts. As a fat person who has loved getting to see so much love for fat bodies... it stung to see that the comedy couldn't even suspend its reality long enough to say "there are a few fat people in the Royal English Navy, so Wee John and Fang get to be dressed up too."

#Cae Has Lots of Feelings About Our Flag Means Death #Have I already cried about this? Yes. I have. #It seriously hurts so much to see the character I most saw myself in separated from the entire rest of the cast over his size again #It breaks my heart so much. #I was literally asking my tv 'But where's Wee John?' all the way from the montage of them suiting up - all the way through Izzy's death. #Because he just didn't exist onscreen again until the LuPete marriage. I almost thought they were writing him out of the show there. #I hope to GOD that Kristian was the one to decide he didn't want to deal with the labor of that scene #Because I cannot imagine how he could've felt if he had to sit there alone and listen to people tell him 'Wee John just isn't in this part. #'Just for logical reasons though. Just cuz there's no way there'd be a uniform jacket big enough for him.' #Because I would've been gutted. #Wee John is big. Kristian Nairn is big. But he is not some unreasonable size. #And it feels cruel that he keeps getting treated like it. #Sending all my love to Kristian right now. I hope he doesn't need any of it. But he has it all the same. #Our Flag Means Death #OFMD #Our Flag Means Death Season 2 Spoilers #Our Flag Means Death Spoilers #OFMD Spoilers #OFMDS2 #OFMD s2 spoilers #Wee John #Wee John Feeney #OFMD Fang #OFMD Meta #OFMD Critical

[shopcat]

i was goinggg to say something way longer but if all it takes is a pretty surface level criticism of you as a fandom and not even a personal attack or something for you to send someone (a palestinian no less) an ask like this then maybe they have a point

i do still think you can care about multiple things at once obv but when the sustained efforts of an online campaign to get people to listen bear a resemblance superficially, frustration and anger is a normal response to that ... 😭 and getting feelings hurt about it isn't going to make those people just be like "Oh never mind you guys are cool" or something esp if you keep proving you CAN'T be cool about it ... you can obviously care about palestine (and any other global issue) and talk about it and take actionable steps to further this and be active about it AND want to get a show renewed or whatever but that's not really the point. (some) people are getting to a unhealthy level of obsession about this renewal and people critiquing that in the wake of the very well-known criticism already surrounding the show is Not the end of the world for you, and that is what this is. and it is not a complex scenario it's pretty 1 + 1. like I'VE been getting more frustrated about the severity of seeing the word renewal everywhere since the beginning and i think people (largely PALESTINIANS THEMSELVES...) saying this have a point.

#🐾 #to clarify that ask was sent to someone else not me #this is all kind of driving me crazy just seeing the way everyone [in the fandom] are talking about it #the way it's all wrapped up together makes it kind of hard to see clearly but it's like #idrc if you want a renewal it's not that big a deal to me it's not any A Deal to me actually. like do what u want about it too it's not #hurting anyone. commenting on hbo max's socials and petitions and emails and stuff is like... fine #it's sustained but it's localised and focused #the other clear factor here obviously is that while a lot of people don't think TW is a zionist obviously some people do #and that's going to reflect on you (and us) whether you like it or not #and like yeah sure the guz khan stuff is most likely misinfo but the anger about it is understandable and NECESSARY #and saying all that like YEAH taika might not be a zionist but con o'n*ill sure fucking is #and i dunno. this is just all what i mean #people are going to talk to you in a way that you will interpret as an attack and sure sometimes it will be. but it's because these are #serious issues. i know ppl in the fandom feel like they have this talk every other day but why would anyone on the outside see that ? #and if they're not seeing that you have to accept that you need to be able to respond in a non-condescending and actually informative way #and don't just get personally hurt over what you perceive as an attack on you or your values or morals #as long as you do stand for a free palestine and condemn zionism and don't say stupid shit there shouldn't BE a problem i don't know #* i also understand for the few ofmd muts i do have that everyone's been getting asks and stuff over the past few days and i don't mean #any of that. though the general mindset of those people applies #sort of. some people are definitely just being reactionary and i have seen a lot of weird shit obv. also this isn't at any of you

[das-a-kirby-blog]

I have a feeling dedede is straight up done with everything and everyone

#let's list it boys #possession three times #four if you count world of light #kidnapped and played like a puppet #brainwashed #forced to wear a boar mask #dethroned (almost) #misunderstood #was lost and depressed for MONTHS in a world he didn't even know #almost killed a couple of times #I mean his castle collapsed on top of him but he was alright so #wait would I count the yin-yarn situation as a kidnap? #was also turned to stone twice which is weird that it happened more than once #was fooled but it wasnt that big of a deal right? magolor made a theme park everything is fine now #idk was just a straight up pawn for most villains #had to fight himself and break a bigass mirror #he's fine though he was able to get his wawa babies back so he's good #wait a minute his castle collapsed on him twice #which is weird that it happened more than onc

[gammija]

i love s4, and im enjoying listening to it with the magaday, but i forgot it would also lead to the worst thing: seeing people interpret media differently than me on the internet OTL

#NOT a big deal #but as an enjoyer of nuance and complicated characters and the tragedy of people doing their best and still failing #I can't help but want to constantly correct posts saying 'Georgie said she prefered Jon dead!' (she didn't #; Jon accused her of that and Basira asked her to leave before they could talk it out) #and 'everyone is blaming Jon for Tim and Daisy's deaths' -> only Melanie is‚ as far as we've heard; #not that everyone is being nice or fair to jon; not at all #but this framing of the situation as jon on one side and everyone else on the other is just so much more boring #than the web of relationships and mistakes and misplaced blame that is implied #and the former is how you get analyses that are objectively wrong like 'no one let Jon speak in 199!!' -> literally by word count and #time spend speaking he talks the most out of anyone in the discussion #but it's not 50/50 jon/others because every character in tma is the protagonist of their own story #like of course it wouldve been nicer if georgie had immediately protested that she didn't want jon to die #but playing that out in my mind; it feels like exactly the kind of argument that jons ex specifically would be tired of having #even if the context is different now #and to me the way it's possible to construct these unspoken reasons and stories for the side characters is the coolest shit #and that's lost if Georgie just said 'I hoped you died Jon‚' because... ? because it's s4 so everyone is just mean to Jon? #even though she's the one visiting him in hospital in the first place? #joos yaps #delete later #nah she's just a mean girl. mean women bullying jon all season #nothing more to it than that

[firebreathingcatss-blog]

#Jey Uso #I just want to make it clear im not posting all these videos/banners etc etc because I think Jey is going to win #I would love it if he did #but I dont think they will pull the trigger #the reason im so happy about this though is because Jey has worked so hard #they have trusted him to carry this story when Roman went part time #seeing him advertised just makes ne proud #like that Fastlane poster I wasnt excited because oh no Roman that means Jey won. #im excited because you see these early PPV posters before a match is even announced with their draws #you always see seth and bianca and blah cody and askua on these early posters #and to see jey there to draw people to the product gives me hope for his career trajectory once the the bloodline is over #baby went from the preshow as soon as a year and a half ago #to main eventing two of the big 4 this year #you dont put Roman/Jey for Summerslam after Roman/Cena Roman/Lesner because Roman ran out out of opponent's #you do it because its a draw #people are invested #and they trust them BOTH to pull it off #just to remind you they also need to impress the people that just bought them and theyve entered negotiations for a new tv deal #and Roman is the face of the company so non wrestling business men are going to be paying close attention #so yes this is a very big deal #they are treating like a bigger deal then COC AND HIAC #So yes im proud #that hes even here

[bisexualbailorgana]

was looking at the guardian website at work today and saw an article about crazy our flag means death fans

#it mentioned the fundraiser and i was like oh! they’re talking about me i donated to that! #hype about it though especially since the guardian gave s1 such a scathing review its obvs a big deal #ofmd #our flag means death

[ratgingi]

woe characters inspired by some of my cats be upon ye. info on them in my tags lol

#dialtown oc #jack dlc #twerpys head is a sledgehammer bc the cat theyre based on was born in a wall lmao #he works at the petstore with outis bc i got said cat frm the local petstore #lilys head is a fluffy couch pillow thing and she works at an animal shelter bc thats where i got the cat shes based on #twerpy is genderfluid bc we make jokes that my cat twerpy is genderfluid a lot #also i feel like shed be aroace if she were a person. its just the vibes yk #lily isnt labeled as anything shes just vibin #the 2 are part of a big sorta found family type shit that consists of chars based on my other 3 cats i just didnt feel like drawin more rn #twerpy is really mean and stuck up but is secretly super sweet it just takes them a long time to warm up enough to someone n show it #shes also secretly incredible at like. comforting people and helping them out. but again only shows it for people hes warmed up enough to #lily is super confident and full of herself and spoiled. she thinks shes super fuckin smart but she is very much Not /lh #she loves attention though and gets her feelings hurt super easy #also shes Huge on physical affection. she loves giving people hugs and holding hands and shit #like. shell be like oh im so fuckin hot and cool literally no ones on my level and of ur like eh idk that fit isnt really that good on u #she will start Crying. and get mad that youre being mean to her for no reason while sobbing #and probably will hug onto you while doing it #twerpy also gives really good hugs but they Hate being touched. so if it willingly touches you then youre incredibly lucky special #also lily loves sitting in peoples laps #if youre friends with her she is far more likely to sit on your lap instead of any chair in the room nd thats just smth youll have 2 deal w #dlc wiki

[writerfae]

Btw I’ll disappear from tumblr again next month

#I mean not that my absence would make a difference but just as a heads-up #November is my absolute ✨depression month✨ so it’ll most likely suck (like every year) #and i know tumblr would do quite the opposite of helping me deal with it so I’ll log out once again #I’ll be back in December though with Talon birthday facts cause my boy has his big day on December 2nd <3 #writer speaks #writeblr

[supercantaloupe]

i got an email invitation the other night to a shabbat dinner for post grads at the synagogue i do HHD services at...i can't go cause i've got rehearsal of course but on the one hand. it's kind of neat to get an invitation to that kind of thing and it sounds like a nice opportunity i should take advantage of (in the future, when i'm not stuck in orchestra, of course). but on the other hand, i'm slightly weirded out by the fact that i don't know this person and they got my info thru the synagogue

#i mean based on their email i'm sure they work there and i do have to like sign up with my email and stuff to get my tickets #so i'm not surprised they have my email or anything #but i'm not sure how they know i'm post grad. i guess from my age (the email said the event is for 22-26 y.o.s) #but i don't really remember entering that info in at any point either. maybe i did and i just forgot idk #it's not really a big deal but it's kind of curious to me anyway #i wanna talk about me #man. it might be nice to actually be part of a jewish community here though #i'm not actually like a member of this synagogue or anything i don't have the time for that alas but i have gone the past few years for HHD #so i guess that counts enough for them for this

[bookshelfdreams]

friendly reminder that

"I love everything about you."

#GOD #this obliterated me. hit me like a distracted driver in a semitrailer hits the end of a traffic jam #its perfect <3 #as beautiful as a well-executed 'i love you' can be it's also a bit generic #can be said to anyone; you can love people for any reason and without really knowing them #(in fact not really knowing them can b prerequisite to the sentiment lol) #you can love the idea or the concept of someone #& i'm not saying it's always or even usually like that; just pointing out that someone who is used to putting on a performance for others #wouldn't be likely to interpret it as anything than a general statement of affection that comes with some conditions. would he. #& anyway ed seems to have a casual relationship w the word love. 'i love you' doesn't have to b a big deal #this though. this is 'i KNOW you. your best your worst and everything inbetween #and i love all of it' #which is just so. #okay first of all the perfect way for stede to express that sentiment; of course he would say that #of course he who constantly tries to create for others the sort of environment he never had #constantly tries to supply the things no one ever gave him #(because he never wants anyone to feel like he did; lonely misunderstood unloved) #of course he would fucking say that #but also just. hhhhrrrrrrrrrgghgggggghhhhhhhhh. you know. #our flag means death #ofmd trailer