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#I TELL MYSELF THAT I SELF THAT I CAN DO
dead-core · 3 months
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part of knowing me is watching me self-destruct. you cannot save me, you cannot fix me, and you cannot stop me.
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sysig · 3 months
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Those wacky skeletons ♥ (Patreon)
#Doodles#UT#Sans#Papyrus#Handplates#You can tell because of Sans' gloves lol#Getting-used-to-them-again doodles as well as just expressing Feeling <3 Happy towards them! Want them to be happy too!#It might seem silly for these - how many sets in now? - to still be getting used to drawing them again lol but it's because they're adults!#Their clothes and the way they hold themselves - but also especially Sans lol I dunno why I have such difficulty with him at times#He's got a cute face and I still find myself like ????how your face#Other than that tho it's just silliness hehe ♪ My favourite lads :D#I feel the need to make the distinction: I do actually have different favourites based on the AU lol#Like for example in classic I still love Flowey just a tiiiiiny bit more than Papyrus but it really is constantly neck and neck#Whereas in Handplates it's no competition even a little bit lol - Papyrus is just my Very Favourite#But Gaster is my favourite Handplates-specific character since he's unique to the AU! It gets a bit in the weeds lol#Sans isn't far behind at all of course the trio are very important! The duo even moreso imo#Going back to gloves tho I did carry over one of my quirks from my original UT doodles about Papyrus' gloves lol#I initially envisioned them as combination mitten-gloves with a free index finger and all the rest together#I still rather like the design! But it is admittedly not Handplates accurate lol#The occasional dip into self-indulgence who me? Lol#Sleeping on each other is important to me as well!! It is such a favourite hehe#Honestly I just imagined Papyrus getting so exhausted that he fell asleep in the snow lol poor lad#Sans teleported in but it's also funny to imagine him just walking up like ''you good? yeah he's fine'' *flop* haha#Silly lads <3 Do love 'em ♪
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novasintheroom · 6 months
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Silver or gold?
♡ Pairing - Vash x Reader
♡ Word count - 1k
♡ Warnings - none
♡ Description: Vash has something important on his mind. You intend to find out what.
Now part of the 150 Bullets drabble series on AO3
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It would look nice in gold. Or maybe silver. With a little ruby in the middle, right there.
Vash taps your ring finger. Yes, right there would be nice.
Firelight crackles nearby, and you and Vash are lying down on your sleeping bags for the night. The small cave you’d found shields you from the whipping, sandy winds rising outside. You had long ago scooted over to lay yourself on top of him. Like his own personal blanket, he often jokes. He loves it though. Loves you. And the day’s events got him thinking…well…
It couldn’t be anything fancy. He can barely afford food on the best days. But if it had a little something…
He rubs your finger again.
You shift slightly. “That finger botherin’ you or somethin’?”
Caught, he flinches and lets go of your hand. But you hold on, intertwining fingers together. Your head scooches to rest on his chest more, and he can feel your lips move against his shirt. “You’ve been quiet tonight. What’re you thinking about, birdie?”
Your voice is heavy with fatigue. It’s been a long day, and he feels bad about waking you in any way. “Nothing. You know I overthink stuff.”
Your laugh is quiet, and it’s the best sound. “Sure. But you’re thinking about something real hard tonight. What is it?”
Vash feels his heart pick up, his stomach tickle, just at the thought. And you’re already up, looking at him now with those eyes that sparkle in the firelight. Your smile is faint – you’re still tired, but ready for him. So, with a held breath, he asks, “Did you see that old couple? In the town today, they walked together from store to store.”
You shifted to rest your chin on his chest now. “Um…what did they look like? There were a lot of people.”
They were old, frail. Their feet shuffled like they meant to collect all the dirt they could on their shoes. The man was hunched, but bowed all the lower every time he opened a door for his wife. The woman always laughed and patted his shoulder. And the man would pout, making his wife roll her eyes and go in for a peck on the lips or cheek. “They wore matching ponchos, too.” He added.
Your head rolls to the side, a mischievous glint in your eye. “Are you saying you want us to wear matching ponchos?”
He blows a laugh out his nose, his thumb rubbing the bit of skin exposed on your hip. “Only if we get them in red.”
“Mmph. Should’ve known.”
He goes quiet again, looking down at your held hands. There they were – the nerves closing his throat.
You squeeze his hand to get his attention. “What about them has you thinking so hard?”
Everything. Thinking about growing old together, opening doors for you for the rest of your days. “I don’t know, mayfly. Something about them…” He clears his throat. “It reminded me of us. Maybe. The woman…she had a pretty ring on her finger. And I…” It was like swallowing a rock. He couldn’t get it out. What if you didn’t want to? What if this scared you away? “I was just thinking of…us…”
And with a small inhale, you sit up. “Are you…? You’re talking about getting married!”
Just like that, the rock is gone, and a gust of wind blows out of his mouth. “We don’t have to if you don’t want. I-I haven’t even thought about it – I mean I have – but – I don’t…don’t know much about it besides what I’ve seen. Do you want to? How would we even do it? I mean, with a priest, obviously, but – you don’t have to. I get it. I – “
You silence him with a kiss. It’s slow, meant to feed reassurance to his speeding heart. Only once he hums and kisses back do you break it. You press your forehead to his and sigh out, “Vash, I would love to.”
The breath leaves his lungs in one big wave. Serenity. You have that effect on him. He grows shy, but his shaky smile gains confidence. “Yeah?”
You nod, and an excited little giggle escapes. “Yeah.”
And suddenly, he sits up and wraps you in the tightest hug he can. You let out a breathless laugh, catching onto his coat and pulling him closer. Glowing stripes appear on his neck, and you pull back to hold his face. It is alight with his Plant lines. He is beautiful, and so, so happy.
Nudging his nose with yours, he asks again, “Really?”
You laugh and kiss him and kiss him and kiss him.
/~*~\
Later, when the fire has nearly died out and you both have settled back into near-sleep, Vash perks up and says, “I gotta propose to you. Like, really propose.”
You shift and let out a long, deep breath. “You can do that another night, birdie.”
But you feel his irregular heartbeat pick up. He’s overthinking again. “I’ll have to plan it. It has to be a surprise.”
You snort and nuzzle into his neck. “Just don’t do it during a shoot-out, alright? Or publicly. I hate public proposals.”
“Well, there go my plans.” He laughs when you smack his chest.
You shift to press further into his side and settle down. “Don’t even think of it, Vash. Just go to sleep.”
He hums, runs his hand across your back and whispers, "Hey? Do you want silver or gold for the ring?"
"Mmm..."
A minute passes, and you finally fall asleep. Vash picks up your hand again, tracing your ring finger. He decides gold will look best. He’ll have to go without doughnuts for a while, maybe even some bullets, but he should be able to squirrel enough money away to get a ruby for it, too. He brings your hand to his lips and kisses it. Smiles when you mutter in your sleep.
What a way to end the day.
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lovesickeros · 5 months
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can.. can I ask for an affectionate reader with characters who aren’t normally like… used to the love? like, not just through words but physical affection like hand-holding, kisses, hugs, all that shebang. probably with a few people like yelan, ei, basically any character that is either cut-off from society or seems socially distant or isolated. 😞
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☆ affectionate reader with yelan, ei, & furina
[ 4.2 Archon Quest spoilers ]
× yelan
Varies between how you display your affection, to be honest. Just like being affectionate with people? She's cool with it as long as you don't pop by while she's working (mostly because she'll end up dragging you into it for a bit of fun). I don't think she's all that touchy feely herself, but she'll absolutely get you gifts instead– like pretty knick nacks? She'll make sure to snag any she thinks you might like. Like a good meal? Sure, she'll take you out to one of the restaurants in the city, doesn't matter how expensive. Her treat. If you do prefer physical gifts rather then being taken out, you'll eventually get used to the random unmarked letters and packages showing up where your staying pretty often. It's obvious to know who it came from even if she never signs anything.
Flirty reader, though? Whole nother can of worms and now it's a challenge. The more confident you are the more interested she is. The other acolytes would absolutely seethe at the idea but she has no hesitation at just straight up flirting back– she's as charismatic as they come and she's got a poker face that's basically impenetrable. She'll probably also make a bet to see who cracks first (she always wins, unsurprisingly). Probably won't get dragged into any of her schemes this way but if you ask politely maybe she'll consider it, anyway.
The smell of freshly brewed tea and the clatter of dice across wood was a common sight at the Yanshang Teahouse– less common was the woman secluded in the far corner, her lips pulled into a grin that flashed fangs and a look that would scare off the most confident of men.
She'd normally try to scope out any new blood that'd made the mistake of stepping into her teahouse and was equally stupid enough to accept a gamble against her just for the thrill of it, but she was far too absorbed in the warm body at her side, one of her die clasped tightly in their hand as she guided them through the motions– they had a knack for it, she had to admit. The thought made her preen, the clatter of the die as it rolled across the table giving her that subtle, familiar rush.
Even if she knew exactly where it'd land.
"Six. Hm, maybe you're just lucky," She muses, plucking the die from the table and holding it up to her eye like a prized jewel, "Or maybe you're not as innocent as you'd have us believe." There's a sharp glint in her eyes at the prospect, but everyone else has the sense to keep their heads down and their words to themselves as she tosses the die herself.
"So why don't we find out and make a bet, just between you and me?"
× ei
Varies between Ei and the Shogun, because you'll probably be seeing either as much as the other. Sometimes you gotta really squint to tell who it is sometimes, but you get used to it. Both are fairly similar, though, in that their first instinct (especially in public) is to tense up like you're about to attack them or something. Difference is Ei eventually relaxes after a solid minute of trying to process your sudden affection and, if no one else is around, she might even reciprocate. Just don't tease her for being a little stiff and awkward about it, she's trying. That's what happens when your only company is a robot and uh. Nothing. For like 500 years. She's trying. Raiden, on the other hand, is just about as awkward as you can imagine. She's polite (blunt) about it because Ei is fond of you and also you are. The Creator. But she's not really built to deal with personal relationships and so she doesn't know how to deal with affection.
..Depending on what you do you may or may not blue screen Ei hard enough that she retreats back to PoE
Ei usually isn't fond of sitting still, unless it's to meditate. At least then she goes in with a purpose, something to achieve– but now, she's just focused on trying not to make a fool of herself. Her muscles are starting to ache from how hard she's tensing, though, in an effort to sit as straight and still as possible as their hands glide through her hair, weaving it into a single braid.
She can just barely hear the subtle lilt of their voice as they hum– and though it is soothing, it is also..very distracting. She can't focus long enough to try and meditate, too lost in the gentle rise and fall of their voice and the care they take to braid her hair. If she'd had a heart, she'd sure it'd be beating so wildly against her ribcage they could hear it.
But then it stops– their hands fall back to their sides and their humming falters. She freezes, too, racking her brain for any slights she must have committed. Instead, she is met with a calm, tender touch on the back of her neck, making her inhale sharply.
"Am I making you uncomfortable, Ei? You're so tense.." She has to grit her teeth to stop herself from bowing so low her head presses against the ground, her hands folded in her lap, clenching instinctively. "..No, Divine One." She answers simply, trying to contain the adoration swelling in her chest.
Yet as much as she tries to relax, to ease their worries, she finds that she cannot.
"Hm." That small murmur, a simple sound that nearly made her jump, was the only warning she got before they scooted closer, wrapping their arms around her stomach and resting their chin on her shoulder with a grin she would liken to Miko's, if she dared to make such a comparison. "Really?"
She swears she must've been feverish at the affection, lightheaded and dazed until she thought she might simply perish at the brush of their hands against her own.
Much to her embarrassment, however, she doesn't realize she's instinctively pulled back into Plane of Euthymia until she sees the familiar dull purples engulf her vision once again.
Though only a small solace, it seemed a little..brighter, this time.
× furina
Varies between pre 4.2 and post 4.2 archon quests to be honest.
Pre 4.2 she comes off as very vain– of course the most Divine would see fit to spoil her with affection! She deserves it, and is obviously their favorite! Just don't look too hard because she's terrible at hiding how flustered she actually is. Absolutely goes home right after and screams into her pillow for at least thirty minutes minimum.
Post 4.2 she's a lot more openly bashful and flustered. She's really not used to affection and even the smallest show of it has her folding immediately. Now that she doesn't need to worry about being found out she's a lot more receptive to affection. Cup her cheeks and compliment her and her knees are buckling. Like. Especially weak for compliments and praise (she deserves it. please spoil her).
She swears she must be hallucinating– she had been having trouble sleeping recently. But..no. The visage of the Creator was as real as the sweat beading on her brow as she stared at them for a long, awkward moment. Should..she let them in? But then they'd see the pathetic state she was in, and the last thing she wanted to do was make a fool of herself in front of them-!
Her choice was quickly made for her, anyway, as she let out an undignified squeak of surprise when they suddenly tugged her forward into their chest, enclosing her in a hug.
Her first reaction was to freeze– her second was becoming absolutely flustered, her cheeks flushing a soft pink and her mouth closing and opening as she tried to find her words.
"I– ah..um." She stumbled over her words instead, floundering like a fish out of water. Yet she felt a distinct sense of emptiness wash over her when they finally pulled back, looking a touch sheepish. "Sorry, sorry– you just looked like you needed a hug."
The silence spoke for itself, her shoulders tensing slightly. But the way the concern and affection bled through their voice made her waver, her hands trembling as she let out a shaky breath that almost sounded like a sigh.
"It's..It's fine! Fine, I'm fine." She repeated, trying desperately to ignored the way her voice cracked and how hot her face felt– though it was more an attempt to affirm herself that she was not thinking about how warm they felt, how much she..actually enjoyed the hug. She wasn't thinking about it all! Absolutely not!
..Maybe a little.
"Just warn me next time, please?"
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ganondoodle · 8 months
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i often really do feel like an .. unwanted part of the fandom, i dont draw beautiful landscapes, i have unpopular but strong opinions im constantly annoying about and rarely change, dont like/dont draw the pretty young popular twinks and hot gurls to fanboi over nor do i turn characters into one, the opposite moreso, draw only one ship no ones heard of really, got little energy to interact with the few people that are nice to me and send me asks so it probably looks like im ignoring everyone and unfortunately but still rarely get so stressed i get overwhelmed and emotional about pehaps seemingly minor things and spiral almost into a breakdown feeling super embarrassed about it afterwards but the damage is already done and i look like a freak or agressive weirdo
#ganondoodles talks#also probably sounds like self pity#but this feeling hits everytime i see a super popular artist be the popular cool artist#i am a little weird i know that and thats not somethign bad i think#but the internet never gets to see that much of me#i tend to write posts when i am at my worst bc it has to go somewhere#so the image it tells people is that im a weirdly strong opiniod freak that gets breakdowns over nothing#i also dont feel like im otherwise -cool tm- enough to balance that out#i dont think my art is as stylized or as inventive as others nor am i cool to interact with bc idk how to be cool to interact with#i feel double bad when i misstepped with someone i used to talk to bc of something stupid ... or just dont know what i did wrong#im guessing its especially when i am in that spiraling state of mind where i really am not myself tbh#it still feels very bad bc i feel like i can never make it up to anyone again#sorry i acted like a jerk my brain was exploding in emotions in a desperate attempt to deal with something idk how to deal with-#-and made me not act like myself but now i feel really dumb about it#doesnt sound like a good excuse#... i want to thank those that do stick with me#even if i acted strange sometimes- even if i disappointed sometimes- even when i couldnt keep a promise#there are little things that still make me angry at myself#like that one time i asked in the tags whod read as long as the end of them and if someone did shoudl send me an ask so id draw a lil thing#and i got two#and i kept trying to remeber oh shit i need to do that and forgetting again/not having energy for it in a loop#i still feel like a jerk about it but now its probably too late#i wish i could answer all asks i get but man my energy for that is always rock bottom#no matter how much i enjoy the ask#and i love getting asks!!!#im sorry :((
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bonefall · 5 months
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post/734733274896809984/do-you-ever-worry-your-own-writing-might-come-off that makes sense. i was asking because i'm afraid of accidentally writing misogyny myself and i kind of admire what you do
Hmm... I wish I had better advice to give you on this front, but honestly, the only thing I can tell you is to consider the perspective of your female characters.
Women are people. They have thoughts and feelings of their own, so like... just let them have their own arcs. A lot of the worst misogyny in WC comes from the way that the writers just don't care about their girls (or, in the case of tall shadow, actually get undermined and forced to rewrite entire chapters), so they're not curious about their lives, or WHY they feel the way they do or what they want, or any direction for their character arcs.
Turtle Tail as an example. She'll often just end up feeling whatever Gray Wing's plot demands. She's gotta leave when Storm dumps him to make him feel lonely. She shows up again to love him in the next book. Lets her best friend Bumble get dragged back to Tom the Wifebeater, but is sad enough about her death to be "unreasonably angry" with Clear Sky, and then calms down and accept Gray Wing is right all along.
And then she dies, so he can have his very own fridge wife.
In this way, Turtle Tail's just being used to tell Gray Wing's story. They're not interested in why she would turn on Bumble, or god forbid any lingering negative feelings for how she didn't help her, or even resentment towards Clear Sky for killing her or Gray Wing for jumping to his defense. She isn't really going through her own character arc.
She does have personality traits of her own, don't misunderstand my criticism, but as a character she revolves around Gray Wing.
So, zoom out every now and then, and just ask yourself; "Whose story is being told by what I wrote? Do my female characters have goals, wants, and agency, or are they just supporting men? How do their choices impact the narrative?"
But that's already kinda assuming that you already have characters like Turtle Tail who DO have personalities and potential of their own. Here's some super simple and practical advice that helped me;
Tally the genders in your cast. How many are boys, how many are girls, how many are others?
And take stock of how many of those characters are just in the supporting cast, and compare that to the amount you have in the main cast.
If you have a significant imbalance, ESPECIALLY in the main cast, fire the Woman Beam.
It's a really simple trick to just write a male character, and then change its gender while keeping it the same. I promise women are really not fundamentally different from men lmao. You can consider how your in-universe gender roles affect them later, if you'd like, but when you're just starting to wean yourself off a "boy bias" this trick works like a charm.
Also you're not allowed to change the body type of any girl you Woman Beam because I said so. PLEASE allow your girls to have muscles, or be fat, or be old, or have lots of scars. Do NOT do what a cowardly Triple A studio does, where the women all have the same cute or sexy face and curvy body while they're standing next to dwarves, robots, and a gorilla.
Or this shit,
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If you do this I will GET you. If you're ever possessed by the dark urge, you will see my face appear in the clouds like Mufasa himself to guide you away from the path of evil.
Anyway, you get better at just making characters girls to begin with as time goes on and you practice it. It's really not as big of a deal as your brain might think it is.
Take a legitimate interest in female characters and try not to disproportionately hit them with parental/romance plots as opposed to the male cast, and you'll be fine. Don't think of them as "SPECIAL WOMEN CHARACTERS" just make a character and then let her be a girl, occasionally checking your tally and doing some critical thinking about their use in the story.
(Also remember I'm not a professional or anything, I'm just trying to give advice)
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snakes-oil · 2 months
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FOALS - What Went Down @ Reading Festival 2023
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testing-reblogs · 27 days
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Hiiii I made a core picrew if u wanna check that out I think that would be super cool <3
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rosesloveletters · 1 month
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The hardest part about selfshipping is convincing myself that it’s okay to interpret the character the way that I want, even if it isn’t canon-consistent. Sometimes it feels like I’m lying to myself in my belief that certain characters would feel love for me or treat me in ways I am comfortable with because it would be “out of character” for them, but there is absolutely no harm in that. It literally does not hurt anyone to interpret a character however you want & it’s only hurting you when you force yourself to adhere to characterizations that aren’t compliant with how you want to feel while indulging in that specific media.
I struggle with this a lot because I have some rougher F/Os, but if I want to believe that they’d be sweet with me, I can. It doesn’t hurt anybody to interpret a character however I want if the content I’m creating is for me anyway. It’s easier said than done, however, but I am doing my best to remind myself of that.
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luvring · 4 months
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in awe of everybody w actual self-ship lore because mine is i want him so bad but he'd want me even more Trust and that's it
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tianhai03 · 1 year
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i went to the beach with my family today and i brought dante bean along!!! so have the dumb doodles i did last night before going + pics i took today with regular sized dante(?) drawn over them :D
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starbuck · 5 months
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if anyone was wondering, i’m currently reading published RPF about F. Scott Fitzgerald for *checks notes* my job, so that’s how my life is going.
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daz4i · 8 months
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i should make a bsd self insert. i got an ability idea. and decided no organization works so I'm like an independent ability user. now the question is what the fuck is my deal. and since i am doing it like 80% for the purpose of self shipping then how do i connect the dots in that regard too
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writhe · 1 year
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#TAGS TLDR YOU CAN NEVER TRULY GO HOME BUT DO YOU WANT TO?#writing a little for d&d and having feelings about this#it was really interesting jasper and i were working on some game mechanics and we kept getting stuck at weird parts and it developed into#this conversation where we realized we experience the world#in such fundamentally different ways. like specifically talking about how paranoia#manifests and stuff but even later in a broader sense like our experiences of time and everything is so different#and they'd be like 'well what if this is something that happened to lock' and id be like 'how could that be something that anyone would#experience' and they were like 'oh because i do'#(example here was my character not realizing he had been magically transported and filling in the blank with vague memories of travel but i#was like. are you not acutely aware of every single moment you are awake and in motion even if it is excruciatingly boring. and jasper#was like. 'oh...no. i could be transported from one place to another and if time passed i wouldnt even think about having traveled or not'#which was WILD to me but then we were like 'okay i guess this cannot be something that happened to lock' because i couldnt even fathom that#but like anyway idk we got weirdly deep dive-y about d&d stuff and personal lives and i had big feelings on it bc genuinely i feel like#there are facets and caverns in myself i have only ever touched in storytelling but particularly in this campaign#and i've joked a lot about Lock and other chars in this game being self inserts#but i mean it in a good way#like the ways we tell stories or experience a world we created together is going to be through an extension of ourselves etc#but it's interesting to me to consider the limitations that brings yknow? we all live by such vastly different sets of rules and#understandings#and im writing out some stuff now and im like. yknow.#lock can never truly go home. i can never truly go home. none of us can ever truly go home#home as shifting impermanence home as transience etc#2017 levi is back apparently but hes always been right
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pr0vincial · 1 month
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тнєяє мυѕт вє мσяє тнαη тнιѕ ρяσνιη¢ιαℓ ℓιƒє ( . . . )
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ganondoodle · 4 months
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just after i crawled my way out of that 'art-low' and i got myself excited to work on the rough draft for chapter2- i suddendly just crash and burn again bc i cant get the thought out of my head that im not a good writer either actually and my ideas are comically boring
do i really have to fight my own brain over and over again for the rest of my life (ㆆ_ㆆ)
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