#I WOULD KILL ANY ONE OF YOU FOR ADDERALL
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WIP Whenever
The lovely @mirrorthoughts tagged me. I’m going to share a little bit of the next chapter of Trading Up.
Low pressure tags: @dear-massacre @definitively-different-drivel @thotpuppy @geekmom13
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“The alpha also killed a couple of people. Mauled them. The cops ended up blaming the attacks on mountain lions, even though the injuries didn’t match that theory. There wasn’t really anything else they could do. It was really hard on my dad.”
“Your dad?”
“He’s the sheriff. Things have been a lot better now that he’s in the know. Back then, the only adults we knew who knew about any of this were Deaton and the Argents, so you can imagine how well that went.”
Derek hadn’t been slouching, but now he’s sitting up a lot more straight.
“There are Argents in Beacon Hills?” he says, voice strained.
“There were Argents in Beacon Hills. Now there’s just an Argrnt in town. That change is part of this whole story. Don’t worry, Scott has a truce with Chris and I watch him carefully, like the suspicious bastard I am.”
Derek nods. “Dealing with the supernatural tends to make people that way.”
“Oh no,” Stiles says, feeling inexplicably cheerful. “I’ve always been this way. It’s just easier to prove people are out to get us now that we’re talking physical harm. High school drama became a lot more urgent when things started trying to kill us.”
Derek does not seem to be cheered up by this information. In fact, his eyebrows are scrunched together and he looks like he’s eaten a lemon and hated it. Unlike Stiles who actually enjoys eating lemons. Hmm, his adderall may be wearing off. Anyway, Derek looks really cranky.
“You look really cranky,” Stiles says. Sometimes he has to state the obvious.
“Why did you say that like things trying to kill you is normal?”
“I mean, I don’t know if I would say it’s normal, but it’s happened a lot. I thought that’s just what supernatural life is like. It’s gotten better the last few years. No one we know well has died since All—since our senior year.”
Derek gives him a look that says he caught that slip, but he’ll let it go for now. Stiles thinks about taking the out, but decides he’d better tell him. It has to come out sometime.
“I’ll get back to that in a minute. Where was I?”
“The alpha was killing people and mountain lions were being slandered.”
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Which Plushie Dreadfuls Mental Health Collection Rabbits I think the TCM characters would have:
Bubba Sawyer:
Bubba would definitely have the Anxiety Disorder Rabbit.
Our lovely Junior worries very much. But it’s not just the regular worrying, it’s extremely intense.
Sometimes he gets it out of nowhere with nothing, sometimes there’s reasoning behind it, it just depends.
Makes him physically ill and it gets hard to focus.
Sissy will try to make him as many teas and scents to ease his nausea but it does not alleviate it.
He is comforted that she is trying to help, but it does not help him much.
Has thrown up a lot.
Sometimes it gets so bad, he sits in bed sweating, feeling like death, and very sick.
Drayton tells him that he needs to man up but Johnny tells the Cook to lay off of Bubba.
Bubba can’t control his anxiety, he’s not expected to by his other family.
He learns to live with it and cope.
Chop Top Sawyer:
Chop Top would have the Sleep Paralysis rabbit.
I believe that Chop Top suffers from sleep paralysis very frequently, even before he went to Nam.
Sometimes he sees funny things, but most of the time it is not very good.
A lot of it to him seems demonic, he’s had whispers of another language in his ear during sleep paralysis.
He doesn’t really understand why it’s him that has to deal with this, but he tries to manage it.
He has asked the others if they have sleep paralysis, but they don’t.
If it’s bad, he loses sleep and can be very tired in the morning which throws him off completely.
When in sleep paralysis, it gets hard for him to breathe because of the weight on his chest.
Nubbins has walked in on him during sleep paralysis and has tried to help him by trying to wake his body up.
Chop Top can’t communicate during sleep paralysis so he just stares at Nubbins and the weird creature thing that’s lingering over him.
Nubbins tells him that no one is there and that he is seeing things.
It comforts Chop Top knowing that the butt-fuck ugly entity that is standing over him is not real and Nubbins can see that it’s not real.
Nubbins Sawyer:
Nubbins would have the ADHD Rabbit.
I think this is kind of obvious, I believe Nubbins is very impulsive and forgetful.
He has dealt with this since he was a kid and Drayton never got him medicated.
Does not know how to manage it, sometimes he feels like his brain or heart is going to explode because of how fast they are going.
When it comes to killing or making things, he is definitely locked into it and will do it with no problem.
But any other tasks, he struggles to remember and it is difficult to keep him engaged.
Nubbins is very hyper and will stay up for long periods of time.
If he stays up for days straight, he also sleeps for a long time as well.
Drayton wishes he would have gotten Nubbins medicated but he knows that he can’t do much about it now.
They just hope that a victim will have Adderall on them so Nubbins does not have to suffer like he does.
Johnny Slaughter:
The one I think 99.9% of you were waiting for lol.
I believe Johnny, taking into consideration the personality we have pieced together for him based upon his bio, has the Borderline Personality Disorder Rabbit.
Now hear me out.
I think Johnny does get overwhelmed with his emotions. His moods can change very quickly depending on his interactions with other people.
As a result, it can affect how he feels and if he wants to kill them.
Sometimes he is very hard to read because he has learned to mask this.
But if you look hard enough, when he smiles there are little to no emotions behind his eyes.
Most people tend to miss this and that’s why they end up on the dinner table because they don’t know to avoid him.
Nancy told Johnny that his biological mother abandoned him for her own selfish reasons, but the Lord made sure Johnny went into her hands.
This haunted the Slaughter boy. He became afraid of abandonment.
So if he were to keep a victim, his main worry would be that they would leave him.
He has very tumultuous relationships. They are extremely unstable and his intense mood shifts can affect the other person greatly.
When he’s angry, his anger can be aimed at no one in particular. But he will still take it out on them.
Can have depressive episodes but tries to work through it because he has things he needs to do, but it gets difficult.
Drayton sometimes worries for him when he sees the dark bags under Johnny’s eyes and the empty look in his eyes. Then he knows it’s bad.
Sissy Sawyer:
Sissy would have the Disassociation Disorder Rabbit.
She has a hard time recalling childhood memories because she disconnected very often.
Very frequently she feels as if she is watching herself from an outside perspective.
She does not feel like herself, she feels like a walking zombie attempting to look like a functioning human being.
It affects her moods, she will completely stay out of conversations and if she has to talk, she doesn’t realize what she’s really talking about.
She just feels like she’s just moving her mouth and speaking another language.
Sissy spaces out a lot and sometimes she does this when she is busy with tasks.
Bubba can read that look in her eyes that shows that she is just a vessel, Sissy is not really there.
He tries to help her, he won’t talk to her because he knows that it is hard for her to form words, but his presence is enough.
He will take over her chores and shoo her away to rest.
She can remember a few things about her time with the Manson Cult, but she can’t recall everything.
When she tries to remember, it just looks like a blur.
And it feels like there are many missing pieces to her memories.
Drayton Sawyer:
This rabbit is still under development.
However, Drayton would have the Intermittent Explosive Disorder Rabbit.
He suffers from extreme amounts of unwarranted anger and will take it out on his family.
Sometimes there are no particular reasons for it.
He can easily slip into an episode and it turns the household upside down until he calms down.
He will abuse his brothers and nephew, smacking them with the broom or hitting them with his fist.
Even the smallest events can trigger his anger and afterwards he feels horrible.
He knows that there was no reason for all the extra shit he did, and he knows he pissed off the whole household with his behavior.
Johnny tries to empathize (funny coming from him) with Drayton with the explosive anger and emotions.
He understands, but he wishes that his uncle could manage it better.
Because beating the shit out of Chop Top with a belt because he didn’t set the plates out is extremely out of place and unfair.
Alright, I did not want to get things wrong with the disorders i named so if I messed up im v sorry. Some of it is from what I have experienced, Sissy and Johnny to be specific (don’t suffer from either disorder ofc but I have felt some disassociation before and I have intense mood shifts) so I tried to describe it from my personal experience too. Anyways, I thought this would be fun to do!
#texas chainsaw massacre#texas chainsaw game#bubba sawyer#johnny sawyer#johnny slaughter#drayton sawyer#nubbins sawyer#chop top sawyer#sissy sawyer#slashers#tcm bubba#tcm johnny#tcm nubbins
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The House of Usher and the cardinal virtues
I thought to myself it's no good to whine about slotting characters into boring reductive categories without a good rebutal, so here's a dose of slightly more interesting archetypes.
Prospero reflects the cardinal virtue of Diligence and its mirror the sin of Sloth ("But he has an orgy so it has to be lust," by god you're so boring) He is the only Usher who tries to make anything of value. When Camille goes on her little spiel about how Ushers don't make stuff, she's not wrong. Perry got pretty ruthlessly shot down when he was presenting his ideas for trying to make value and start a night club chain, rather than just taking credit for someone else's work like all of his siblings and his dad. But he was at least trying. His drive to prove himself and gain respect is how he gets himself into the whole mess. However, it is the act of not doing his due diligence that kills him.
Camille has an interesting one because while breaking into a lab facility to expose mistreatment of animals would seem like the cardinal virtue of kindness, she's only there to get one over on her sister. The inverse of Kindness is Envy, and for as important as her role is as the family spin doctor, Camille is valued the least. Everyone suspects Perry when they hear about an informant, but that's because he's an idiot baby. Victurine is useful with her heart mesh implant, Napoleon took the role of the "chill fun sibling", and the other two are original Ushers, so Camille is left as the unfavored child.
Napoleon tried to buy his way out of his problem with Charity. He could have come home with a different cat entirely and told his boyfriend he was looking in shelters for Pluto and accidentally fell in love. Name it Mars, let the boyfriend chalk it up to a weird grief response. Bummer Pluto never came home. Verna would have had him trip over the thing on the stairs in the middle of the night and that would have been that. Instead, everything was transactional as he maximized what he could get out of his relationships for the least amount of effort. The boyfriend can live with him, the boyfriends cat can move in too, but as soon as that becomes even the slightest bit more effort (like when boyfriend wants to meet the family, or curb the drug use, or the cat brings home a dead thing) Napoleon wants it gone from his life.
Victurine likewise could have had a painless clean death had she mustered up the Humility to say that the device didn't work. Her demise, unlike her younger siblings, was a compilation of smaller shitty decisions and white lies. She could even recognize that each choice was morally wrong, but it was little choices that were easier to brush off. A dead monkey, a foraged signature, a rightfully concerned patient reassured with platitudes. Even before she was scrubbing blood off the floor to Bonnie Tyler, her inability to admit her choices were flawed was getting her in trouble.
Tamralane with her perfectly manicured curated life, is the one to take Temperance to its furthest extreme. I think it was Atwood who wrote about women and the internal voyeur to preform for, but I'm not going to Google it for a post about horror characters losing their minds and dying horribly. She lives under a personal panopticon of her own expectations and can never allow herself to experience her own life lest she fall short. Her wealth rather than mitigating this exacerbates the issue, giving her access to any and every distance she could possibly want. Death by mirrors isn't so much her going insane as it is the culmination of the life shes built for herself.
(Plus, I know her lonely evening was meant to be ~spooky~ but babe, that is literally just ADHD. Can't remember where you put the thing? Can't remember doing the thing? CAN'T SLEEP?! DOES EVERYONE HATE YOU AND THINK YOU'RE AN INSANE BITCH FOR PERFECTLY VALID REASONS?! Looks like Adderall for you).
Fraudrick. You dickwad. No Patience to allow your very injured and traumatized wife explain herself. The inverse of Patience is Wrath. Demonstrated that one in spades. I'm on Verna's side on this one. Pliers, really?
(His wife's name is fucking Mori. As in momento mori.)
Which leaves Madeline and Rodrick. What's a Gothic horror story without some really fucking weird and unsettling sibling dynamic? Dull, that's what. Anyway, never letting anything touch them or impede them in their lust for power and wealth offers a strange sort of Chastity. There's no love, not for the kids or Annabelle Lee that could touch them, no moral they wouldn't overturn, no value they wouldn't abandon. Madeline values her freedom above all else but she spent her life bound to her brother. They wouldn't even spare each other in ruthless pursuit of just a little more power.
So yeah, bummer for August Dupain that he wound up against the most supernaturally fucked up family that ever lived.
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Okay, my long overdue infodump about yokai medicine/painkillers is here. Just as a heads up, there will be discussion of and reference to a variety of drugs, drug use, and addiction.
There are three main forms of treatment used to deal with pain: pharmaceutical drugs similar or identical to the ones used by humans, potions, and spells. For now, I'll focus on pharmaceutical type medications.
So, to begin, I do need to address the fact that the yokai population has an immense level of biodiversity, from skeletons to insects to dragons. This means that the use of medicine is probably incredibly complicated, as a given substance can has wildly different effects on different species--not to mention that even within a species a compound can have different results (see: stimulants and how they have drastically different effects for people with ADHD than for neurotypicals).
Add to that the fact that we also see a large variety of sizes for different yokai, from Exploding Frankie (maybe a foot tall) to the colossal building-sized creatures we see walking around int he first episode of the show, and you've got a very complex problem. (Size is relevant in figuring out dosages because drugs often have different effects at different doses, but also because larger people tend to need more to have an effect in the first place. A dose that would kill a mouse probably wouldn't kill a 6 foot tall man, for example, but depending on the exact drug it might still mess him up a lot.)
This means that it would be very difficult to, if not impossible, to properly categorize a chemical based on its effects. Sure, they know Adderall works as a stimulant and opiates are painkillers for humans, but how does that translate to a slime yokai who doesn't even have a nervous system? How do you effectively (and ethically) figure that out when the population of slime yokai is extremely limited? In all honesty, you probably don't.
(As a side note, it's fairly important that for the drugs humans use, they go through large amounts of animals trials before ever being tested on people to a) make sure the drug actually has the effect it's meant to, b) figure out what potential side effects might crop up, and c) find out what a lethal dose is. That's because we can reasonably compare the reactions of animals to what we might see in a human body. For large amounts of the yokai population, that comparison probably does not work.)
So yokai can, in dire circumstances, use substances that humans would (as painkillers, sedatives, etc) but it would be very difficult to know what dosages are safe for a given species, if any are. This would also mean that the Hidden City probably has a very different approach to drug education: less "ooh these drugs are evil and you'll get addicted immediately if you ever try them" and more "just because meth acts as a stimulant for humans doesn't mean it can't kill you at half the dose it takes them to even get an effect so be fucking careful".
I would imagine that drug regulation works very differently in the Hidden City out of necessity. After all, you can't even reliably say what effects a given chemical has, let alone recommend a dose for people to use. In a lot of cases, the best that the HC can do is probably enforce purity standards and proper labeling of products so that at the very least, people know what chemical they're actually getting and how much of it.
Which of course means that their legal system is entirely different when it comes to drug related crimes, because the use/possession of drugs is something that cannot effectively be criminalized when a pill that would cause an overdose in one person would act as a mild cough suppressant in another. (That and the whole idea behind making drugs illegal in the first place is to prevent addiction by making access harder, which... is a bit of a weird premise in the first place? but that's a whole other rant. Yes, use declines somewhat when the drug is made illegal, but it also makes it much harder for addicts to get the treatment they need when drug use is criminalized.)
Given the length of this post I think I'll cut it off here and edit with links when I get the other topics covered lmao.
Part 2 Part 3
#rottmnt#tw drugs#tw drugs mention#minor interference au#minor interference lore#bambi's rambling#this post brought to you by the fact that i'm a psych major and addiction psychology is my favorite class this semester lmao#also it's entirely possible that this post isn't fully accurate for how drugs work/are tested irl so like. don't quote me on this#i'm just pretending to know what i'm talking about
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Do you have any headcanons for Eve and Mark sharing a darling? I feel like it’s a match made in heaven (or hell depending on how you look at it qoqhjahahaha-)
i'm alive. i'm sorry this took so long, and if you like it pls reblog thank you guys, i love you all :')
mark definitely has more jealous moments than eve. in fact, eve is pretty good at hiding when she's jealous, which is rare, because she spends so much time making sure that you won't leave, and she's pretty confident that you won't leave them.
mark tries to make sure as well, but he definitely has doubts in his abilities so he doesn't have as much confidence as eve, therefore he gets jealous a lot more easily, and it's not fun. he goes from this dorky man to creepy man who doesn't stop the weird stare that has 6 different emotions in one look.
eve, on the other hand, while she does have some self esteem issues, she's also just like "man fuck this" and tries to focus on you. she doesn't necessarily get jealous, she does get a little annoyed whenever someone else has your, lets say, attention.
by that I mean has big issues with people talking to you in a flirty manner.
however, it's better to have her there, because she can see that it's the other person who usually makes the first move, not you. mark, on the other hand, looks like he got hit by a car whenever he catches someone trying to flirt with you.
self esteem issues are big in him, so when he sees you, with someone who's flirting with you... he kinda goes ape shit.
he'll walk up, act like you two need to go somewhere, and then give you the cold shoulder for the rest of the day, eventually it comes to a head, and you'll both get into a mini argument about the whole thing, which usually leaves eve to clean it up for you both and act as a mediator.
now, about the relationship itself, both are actually pretty good. as partners, at least. mark is usually a dork, who talks a little too much, and is almost like a puppy dog around you. he likes talking about his day, what he did, and then he'll let you talk about yours. he figured out he likes hearing you talk, so he likes letting you ramble on, and if you stop talking to try and let him talk he just nods for you to continue on talking.
eve is probably understanding as hell for you tbh. she's basically marks (or yours, depending on who you are) adderall, being like a control in an experiment. she's also always there for you if you ever need her, and believe me, with both of them being heroes almost 24/7, that's a huge statement of love.
I thought about mark and eve kidnapping their shared darling, but honestly, I don't think either would do it. mark has definitely brought it up a couple of times when he became paranoid of you leaving them, but eve would definitely not be on for that. while yes, she could create a cell for you n stuff, she realizes that would be the opposite of what you would want, and also, mark has vv big paranoia. like, it's bad. so she would also take that into consideration.
besides, things are going so well at the moment, there's really no need to. the only time they would do that to you is if they a) killed/hurt someone for you and you found out and disapproved, or b) you were in danger. while the latter in easier to brush off, the former would be a difficult situation for eve and mark to get out of.
which is also why if they do, or basically when, because they would do something like that, eve makes sure that there is nothing left behind. she'll disintegrate something into dust if need be so that no one would find out.
basically the whole relationship is mark being a friendly dork who has low self esteem and high paranoia, while eve has a friendly and loving façade set in front of a vv scary girlfriend.
mark and eve disagree on a little too many things when it comes to you, but they eventually land on a conclusion for you. remember, the thing that binds them together is not only their love for each other, but also their obsession with you.
#yandere mark grayson#yandere mark grayson x reader#yandere mark grayson imagine#yandere invincible x reader#yandere invincible imagine#yandere invincible#yandere samantha eve wilkins#yandere samantha eve#yandere atom eve#yandere atom eve x reader#yandere atom eve imagine#yandere samantha wilkins x reader
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the rabbit hutch, pt. 1.
dialogue prompts from the rabbit hutch by tess gunty.
predators are the only people in town.
life is about everyone punishing each other for things they didn't do.
you are a bafflingly happy person.
i feel like a fox. like a fox on adderall.
quite frankly, what the fuck?
i wish i could take it all from you and put it into myself.
i want to fix whatever i can fix, and i want to be there for the rest.
you're tired, huh?
why can't you let anything go?
often i think you want me to die first.
do you believe in an afterlife?
i've been reading about catholic female mystics lately.
i think we see whatever we fear, whatever we want.
you look like the kind of person who would have a bird feeder.
i think we should all take each other a little more seriously.
all i want is to exit my body.
i want to wake up. that's my dream: to wake up.
if someone rejects alcohol, never ask why.
i love you beyond language.
being looked at is not the same as being seen.
i misjudged you when we met.
rehab, by some measures, was the best time of my life.
thinking too much can zap you dead.
it's like i'm trapped in a flooding car.
i envy your capacity for mystery.
would you kill for me?
you talk too much.
i'm officially fucked up, and no one can tell me why.
i know it's not possible. i'm just telling you what i remember.
you're a cartoon of a millennial.
infinite loneliness: that's what i fear most.
this isn't a fucking rehearsal.
why do smart people always do such stupid things?
you make me unlonely. you make me feel real.
not everything means something.
have you mentioned me to your therapist?
you should expect more from people.
you smell like roses. like a funeral.
the churches outnumber the humans.
don't be a fucking pussy.
i used to think all relationships were imaginary.
i see how i've ruined you.
i'm afraid i'm not a very good person.
i don't feel any regret at all. no guilt.
i'm not a psychopath. i just like to fuck with people.
what do you do when someone gets stabbed? i've always wondered.
you just act nice because you don't have a personality.
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The Afterparty: Isabel
This has to be the creepiest episode so far. We’ve finally gotten to learn more about Isabel and that woman has been through a LOT 😭 I can’t say more without spoiling it so I’ll post more under the read more tag.
I just realized I didn’t post last week’s clue because I was so eager to post. It was “Not the Spitter” ruling out Aniq. I know a lot of people suspected Aniq but it just wouldn’t make any sense for him to do that because he loves Zoë and wants her family to like him. This week’s clue is:
“Not Without Planning”
Ok so whoever killed Edgar had a plan in place which makes things tricky. It raises the question of when exactly the killer came up with the plan. People who could have planned ahead of time are Grace, Travis, Hannah, Sebastian, Feng, Isabel, and Vivian. Ulysses wasn't found until a little before the wedding and his interactions with Edgar seemed civil so I'm not counting him in that category. If we're going with the Devil's Trumpet as the murder weapon, Hannah and Ulysses would both have been able to plan with it since they're familiar with the plant. Isabel could have planned it with a readily available pill besides the adderall since by then she'd already started suspecting him of drugging her. Travis could have started planning from the moment he got the invite and started theorizing about the crypto scam. The wedding website mentions Hannah's garden so he could have already known there would be dangerous plants and researched some of them ahead of time.
Isabel’s Pills
Isabel was clearly unraveling after the death of her husband and it’s really creepy to witness. Like she’s lost all touch with reality and her behavior at the wedding is starting to make sense. Whoever called it that Edgar was trying to force her into a conservatorship was right! I’d say Edgar should pay for this but it looks like he already has! 🍻 Omg at the reveal that she actually was trying to help Grace and that she was actually on adderall the whole time. This makes her wedding speech really sad now that we know the context of it. Is this enough of a motive to kill Edgar? Yes. Plus she’s rich enough to get away with it. But I see Isabel as a fighter and someone who would have kept trying to find proof rather than a quick “fix” like that.
Edgar’s Bathrobe
As pointed out several times on Reddit, Edgar’s initials on his robe don’t match his actual initials (Edgar Alexander Minnows). And when Edgar finds Isabel wide awake at 4:30 in the morning once again we see EDM. This could very well be a red herring and I’m not going to bother trying to do an anagram because I bet you that between now and next week someone will have uncovered something.
Travis Being Nosy
As always Travis is in everybody’s business and I want to know WHY? Yes he lost his money in crypto and knew Edgar was a crook but he is too invested. I don’t think he murdered Edgar bc his death means he won’t get the answers he needs, but come on now. WAIT A MINUTE: Did we ever see Edgar and Travis interact the whole weekend? We saw Travis interact with Aniq, Hannah, Sebastian and Isabel but not Edgar. And he also did not mention socializing with Grace as well which is odd because wouldn’t you want to speak to your ex at some point at a wedding to give them well wishes if it ended on good terms? And have we even gotten confirmation from Grace that she was the one who invited him? Did he deliberately leave something out?
Two Ways to Win
Yet another Reddit theory confirmed! But just what does it mean? Who is it that has won twice?
Edgar Getting Drugged Multiple Times
Ok so the Reddit theory that everybody drugged Edgar at some point came true which is wild 😭 We’ve got the wedding cake, the adderall whisky, and the devil’s trumpet. But someone on Reddit thinks the pool could have poisoned him too so who knows?
My Final Guess on Who the Killer Is?
TRAVIS. He’s been playing dumb this whole time, had no reason to be at the wedding, and is inserting himself in as much of the investigation as he can. I wouldn’t be surprised if it turned out he lied and Edgar and Sebastian were the ones who scammed him out of Crypto.
I guess we'll just have to wait and see which of us are right next week when the finale airs! I'm really curious to see what the poll will look like by next Tuesday. If you haven't already, get your vote in! Until then, see you after the season finale.
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been thinking abt what you said about Drones how van d is having to do school mandated advertising for the same forces that took his brother and traumatized his husband like. the ptsd on this man from toms death alone....... anti military david hours
OUGH YEAH that episode drives me so crazy (and not just bc of the music video bit :( )
everything going on with dave in that episode is just. a gut punch to me even though it doesn't seem like a big deal on its surface. i wonder whether he volunteered to chaperone or if they made him; ik he said he was doing so under protest but i could see 2 different angles based on the situation. did he volunteer to discourage these kids from signing away their lives or did he dig in his knockoff birkenstock-clad heels when he was forced to go...
and narratively i'm sure the reason was because van d chaperoning is much funnier and easier to write than buzzcut chaperoning, even though the latter would make more sense
and like. i think he's trying so hard not to show how livid he is. he keeps pushing "nonviolent" military careers (an oxymoron) but i think he's just doing it to appease the school or maybe just to make himself feel better, he doesn't really want any of this. like if you work for them you're still complicit in the killing even if you're not the one with a gun in your hand.
they want him to tell children that they should go kill their fellow man. they want him to tell children to be part of the reason tom came home in a thousand pieces and had a closed casket funeral; to be part of the reason his husband wakes up screaming in the middle of the night.
also, on a somewhat related note, there's a bit in the game virtual stupidity where david plays his guitar outside the local veterans hall. he says something about appreciating their sacrifice but i don't buy it; i think he does it because it somehow makes him feel closer to tom. sometimes it's the closest he can get.
anyway umm sorry this got LONG and rambly i'm all prescription-adderalled up and i have soooo many thoughts all the time. also it really genuinely means a lot to me that you've been thinking about my idea because i really love all of your work that i've seen, both your art and writing. thank you so much
#if people need me to trigger tag this lmk#beavis and butthead#riphimopen#buzzdriessen#david van driessen#tom van driessen#hm maybe that's short for thomas. idk. i need to develop him as a character since nobody else will#for some reason i think he would like baseball. also he and dave got along really really well imo#i should rb the backstory i have for dave. tom is like 5 or 6 years older than him imo
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I love your stories, you are genuinely such a good writer I truly believe you could be an author someday. I would be super interested in what YOU like to read? Actual books or favorite fics, lol. I’m sure you have good taste. No pressure to share, though ❤️
this is genuinely one of the sweetest messages i’ve ever gotten. thank you so so much :,)
and thank u for the thoughtful question! i would link my goodreads but it has like my full government name so i’ll try to sum it up:
i haven’t read fic in quite some time tbh. i occasionally read ellabs fics on ao3 or anything that senlinyu writes (even though it’s for the hp fandom…i would read anythinggg from her her voice is just so lovely), but largely i just read published work! i mostly read lit fic, but i have a friend who’s into romance/romantasy who has inspired me to branch out a little.
some of this year’s favorite books include:
- my dark vanessa (a really intimate look at age gap relationships done in a way that makes your skin crawl. my comfort book but in the weirdest way possible)
- foster dade explores the cosmos (bruisingly purple prose about a rich boarding school kid who sort of accidentally starts an adderall ring)
- vladimir (a weird story about how a female prof at a liberal arts school cheats on her husband with a younger prof)
- natural beauty (a girl joins this weird beauty cult)
- the last word (the first thriller i’ve liked in liek forever? a girl leaves a one star review on a self published book and the author comes to kill her)
- deadly education (love the world building in this one it’s just incredible)
that’s all so far…thank you so much for asking! if anyone here has read any of these/ends up reading any of these, let me know!!!
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I sure hope you still want those dr kahl episode ideas cause my noggin will not stop cranking them out
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OK, here's the pitch: Mad Science Yard Sale. Need more than that? Good.
Alright so Dr. Kahl needs cash money for world domination or something so he's auctioning off doomsday devices to the highest bidder. We (the audience) see this after Cupface and the gang are sent off with their five bucks and some pocket lint. Now, after what could only be described as a Clipjoint Calamity the last time this happened Mugsy decides that they ought to be less stupid with their money.... Then they get to isle 3.
Aaand because they didn't have adderall back in the 30s Cupington immediately goes to check out some sick ass robots. Tbh, I would too. So, what happens next is like that one scene from Futurama. Like you know that one scene where it's like
"Oohoho, and what does this do?"
"Hm? Oh yes, that one kills everything everywhere!"
If you want that can be Werner and Kahl talking, I think that would be super funny especially since Show-Werner is so damn tiny.
Other cameos would be sick too like Briny Beard forking over a whole chest of pirate treasure for a shiny new "cannon" or the devil in disguise in the background looking for something shady.
So yeah it's basically that for most of the rest of the episode. Cup n Mug just running around Kahl's front lawn breaking shit and trying to figure out what they can take home for five dollarydoos.
THEN Kahl gets pissed and decides to do what any old man would do and yell at these kids to get them off his lawn. Buuuuut Cuphead ain't leaving 'till he waists his five bucks.
So Automation picks the cups up and throws them into the horizion like the iron giant trying to get sid of a noisy car.
Sorry, I legitamitly could not think of a better ending. Hope you enjoyed.
I love everything about this and I love you for bringing it to my inbox
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Some thoughts on "intelligence"
Intelligence is vague. People are all so different in their strengths and weaknesses. Everyone can contribute in different ways and that's fine. If we started valuing people more, it wouldn't matter as much.
Despite the criticisms, there's a positive correlation with high IQ scores and neurodivergence. I don't see this as a reason for an elitism mentality (ew). I think it highlights the incongruence in how society values "smartness" but simultaneously devalues people who deviate from social norms.
I'm tired of people arguing about whether IQ can be augmented or not. Or if you can "study" for an IQ test. You can't study for it per se however, you can absolutely get a better score by knowing ahead of time what these tests are looking for. Different tests test different things. Some are more visual than others. This can impact the score you make. But most all of them test logic, pattern recognition and mental math. I don't think i need to tell you that you can learn and improve on these to *some* degree. You can't change your raw intelligence but you can get better at certain things like math if you put in sufficient effort. And there's nothing wrong with trying to get better at those things.
The scope of what these tests actually test is actually quite narrow. It gets the "basics" but we all know the big picture is more than just the "basics".
I don't think iq is as fixed as some would like to make out. A person could go in feeling great, hopped up on nootropics and Adderall and make a 125. That same person could go in sick and foggy headed, doped up on benadryl and score a lot lower, but who's gonna do that? It's more of a snapshot how a person is that day.
Intelligence changes as you age at least a little. It varies from person to person but I think they say you peak around your mid 20s then it starts to very slowly wane thereafter. But you of course, gain a greater quantity of knowledge and experience. Not that trading working memory for life experience is a 1:1 tradeoff. It just shifts around in different areas.
Working a vapid stressful job doesn't do your brain any favors. Depression and anxiety (y'know from working your life away just to survive) can negatively impact your reasoning and memory. It can give you brain fog. Cheap processed food does it too. Healthier food tends to be more expensive.
I don't think high IQ clubs are just a bunch of elitist sapiosexuals jacking off to arbitrary numbers. Some people are obnoxious about it but I've met Mensa members who are NOT like that. I think it's closer to a bunch of neurodivergent people looking for common ground and connection. Many of us get tired of the typical vapidity of life and need more stimulating connections, I think this is true of most ND people whether their IQ is 115 or 155. So what if someone has pride over a stupid number anyway? As long as they aren't being obnoxious to others about it, I can't say I care. I've always wanted to join one of those even if only to observe. I just barely missed the mark on the last one I took and I think age, PTSD and anxiety have taken its toll on my cognitive health enough that I think this ship has long sailed.
Quite honestly, the whole "sapiophobia" thing leaves a gross taste in my mouth because it almost sounds like coded ableism in itself. There's already an attack on intelligence in our society. We are forced to work jobs that kill our brains. School is made fucking expensive and out of reach for many. We have next to no time for creativity due to wage slavery. Intelligence being important to someone isn't grounds for mockery. We need to address our limited views of what intelligence is and what people actually mean by that.
"Sapiosexual" isn't a special thing. We all look for intelligence in partners whether we think we do or not. Intelligence means a lot of things. You may not be specifically looking to date a math major, but if your special interest is trains, you'll probably want a partner who is somewhat knowledgeable about them or at least willing to share that passion. I'm not looking to date someone who isn't compatible and that does have a lot to do with how they think about the world. If it's too different, it's not a great match. Sapiosexual...it's really a weird thing to identify as.
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Midsommar (2019)
Too bad it's Midsommar and not S-tier Sommar, amirite??
That's unfair. It's better than that. Barely.
This is my first A24 movie. I expected more of a creepy arthouse vibe. Instead I kept having flashbacks to 2017's The Ritual, another movie with an interesting central conceit that undercut it with too many "shocking" set pieces. This movie is better than that one, but they certainly share the same ineffective vibe.
It's just too goofy. I spent half the movie laughing at either the sheer ridiculousness of whatever was going on, or where I guessed they were taking things. And I was always right. This feels like a screenplay I wrote 10 years ago and then went, "Eh. This has sort of gotten away from me. It's just kind of stupid now."
The production design and cast are good, and I like the score. It is a competent Hollywood-style movie. And as a gratuitous B-movie, it is okay. It is about a half-hour too long because it is paced like a bad conversation; it has to beat us in the face with a mallet (ho, ho!) to make sure we pick up every point, I guess because it thinks we're stupid? Or whoever wrote it was on Adderall and just couldn't let any scene go without triple-confirming to themselves whatever point was being made. Either way, it doesn't let anything breathe. And that is only bearable because so much of this is, again, very goofy. There isn't much to "get."
There are video essays and articles "explaining" this movie. ...To whom? Why? What the hell did you miss, that the movie didn't laboriously point out to you? I am kind of shocked that someone watched this and was like, "That was over my head. These scenes should have been longer, with more ham-fisted allegorical layering."
I'm making it sound worse than it is. But it also is what it is. And what it is, is a movie by people who said, "Wicker Man was good and creepy and killed just one guy. If we do like 9, that will be WAY scarier!" And they did that. And, of course, it isn't. Because you guys clearly missed the point of The Wicker Man.
I had thought to call this "Wes Anderson's Wicker Man," because Ari Aster certainly has stylistic things in common with Wes Anderson. But I feel like an actual Wes Anderson Wicker Man remake would have more to say about SOMETHING than Midsommar does.
Look. Straight monogamous people can make movies, too. I'm sure they have stuff to reflect on over there. I just don't appreciate whatever that is. Anything along those lines that I got from Midsommar do not paint these people or their world in a positive light. My final assessment on any message here is, "Man. Straight Americans are very lonely, and frustratingly weird and selfish about sex." And as I am an American, sure, we are indeed all that, I understand. But why go to all this trouble to say THAT?
Was that the intent? I doubt it.
Again. It's fine. It's a fun and funny B-movie, with good gore. It would have been better if it had really leaned into all that, because it is all the pretentions to profundity that fall flat.
Oh and the blood eagle? Really? What, is this a rule that any American movie about creepy Scandinavians has to show a guy flayed-out in a barn? You know that probably wasn't even a real thing they did, right? And you didn't even do anything interesting with it here.
I guess, in the end, we can take from this that, if you are invited to a thing that is a bunch of pretty white people in white robes, just get back in the car and leave. I know, you think you can get some fun out of it. But you won't. You never, ever will. Trust me.
Also. You idiots made we wait the ENTIRE movie for weird sex stuff...and THAT was it? That's all you had? That wasn't anything. Maybe some monacles popped in Nebraska churches over that. But give me a break. That wasn't worth anything. Especially not the deranged way Florence Pugh's character overreacts to it.
...I'm talking myself into liking this less. It's FINE. If you loved it, good for you.
You can have it.
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Oh, your love language is receiving gifts? Here’s a gift written in my love language: debunking fuckery.
(Merry Christmas. I’m sorry or you’re welcome)
Today’s Moment of Science… Pop! There goes a few beliefs in pop-psychology.
- How much of your brain are you using? In the 2014 movie Lucy, Scarlet Johansson’s titular character takes a drug that allows her to access all of her brain and she gets goddamn super powers. In 2011’s Limitless, Bradley Cooper plays a struggling writer who gets a magic pill that lets him complete a manuscript in a weekend and become a zillionaire, which really under-sells the benefits of Adderall.
There’s some wild misconception that we only use 10% of our brains (Cooper is generously given 20% in Limitless). As much as I claim that drinking kills the dumb brain cells first, we use all of our brains. This myth likely started with early twentieth century psychologist William James. His work suggested that most people did not “live at their maximum of energy,” meaning we didn’t reach our full potential. Which… fair (and rude). This started showing up in print in the late 1920s as the ten percent myth. It’s sometimes misattributed to Einstein. When reached for comment, Einstein said “I didn’t fucking say that.”
- INFJ? ESTF? GTFO. Katharine Cook Briggs and her daughter, Isabel Briggs Myers, started working together on personality-typing during WWII. Briggs got way into Carl Jung’s work on personality, skipped the academic nonsense and went straight into the hard work of making shit up.
The test gained popularity with social science institutions for decades anyway. Some employers today even ask job candidates for their results from the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator assessment (MBTI). But a 1993 article stated there was “insufficient evidence to support the tenets of and claims about the utility of the test,” and reviews have not improved since. I’d critique the peer reviewed studies published by the mother-daughter duo, but they never produced any.
MBTI is largely viewed as pseudoscience, as are most of the popular online personality tests. None will really predict personality over the course of a lifetime because, contrary to popular belief, personality traits aren’t immutable. Hell, these tests are barely predictive of the results from one time a person takes the test to the next. About half of people get different results with the MBTI when taking evaluations a month apart (I’m rarely an extrovert twice in a row). That’s not a personality change, and it’s certainly not science. That’s a shitty MySpace quiz with no measurable benefits over astrology.
- The Bystander Effect sounds terrifying. The way I first heard it, a crowd watched a woman being raped and murdered in broad daylight and did nothing. Witnesses may figure it’s someone else’s responsibility and opt to not get involved. You’re virtually no safer for the presence of strangers than you would be alone. But hey, the cops will definitely be there to help in two minutes if someone just calls them.
This one is lazy copaganda taken from a dramatic reimagining of the 1964 murder of Kitty Genovese. Published by the New York Times a few weeks after the fact, it claimed 38 witnesses ignored her cries for help. In reality, she was attacked and killed at 3am in a neighborhood where 38 people likely weren’t even awake. It wasn’t broad daylight, nobody saw the entire attack, and there were maybe a dozen total “witnesses,” most of whom only heard her yelling but didn’t realize what was happening. Multiple people attempted to contact the police.
Though some experimental results suggest the bystander effect is real, hear me out, reality itself might be a better gauge of how often people help in reality. A 2019 analysis of crimes caught on surveillance footage showed that bystanders intervene over 90% of the time. The more bystanders, the better the chances that one of them would act.
- The Dunning-Kruger effect is often simplified down to “stupid person is too stupid to comprehend the depths of their own stupidity.” This is held in contrast with experts who understand how vast an entire field of study is, conversely leading them to underestimate their skills. When someone drops into my comments section telling me, a chemist, that I should educate myself about their definitely real chemical-free diet, someone might call this an example of the Dunning-Kruger Effect.
But the effect is about skills, not intelligence or being wrong. Someone with a low degree of skill in a particular area may have a bit of unearned confidence specifically with regards to that set of skills.
That is, if this isn’t all just statistical noise. Newer studies (that never even set out to disprove the idea) produced data that suggest people are pretty good at estimating their skill level, but we all have a tendency to think we’re above average. The degree to which this effect occurs and what the cause(s) might be are still being poked at.
So is that ‘chemical free diet’ an example of the Dunning-Kruger effect? Without more information, we just know that person’s wrong. If the effect is real, a more clear example might involve scientists wandering off from their field of study. A Nobel Prize winning quantum physicist who’s high on the smell of their own farts might, with great confidence, say some daffy shit about vitamin megadoses (I see you, Linus Pauling). Similarly, medical doctors seem so highly skilled, lest their confidence propel them to look like utter buffoons when they talk about quantum mechanics (yes, Deepak Chopra is a real medical doctor).
Of course, this isn’t to be confused with the Dunning Kruger Erect, which is when a man is overly confident in his ability to satisfy a woman.
(My Mother is very proud of me.)
- What’s your love language? Author of The Five Love Languages series, Gary Chapman, cracked this special code to help you better communicate love with your partner. Chapman, who has a PhD and hosts a radio talk-show, defines ‘love language’ as how someone prefers to receive love. The list includes physical touch, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and words of affirmation. Sounds plausible. Ish.
But love languages aren’t even slightly grounded in science. These books were initially published as Christian literature, which makes sense since Chapman was a Baptist pastor. Knowing he has a PhD, I thought he might have pulled from experiences in clinical work as a therapist, but this motherfucker has never been a licensed therapist of any sort. His PhD from goddamn bible college is in adult education. He’s also listed as a contributor to Focus on the Family, an organization that’s focused mainly on homophobia. Chapman isn’t promoting evidence-based advice to help communicate love. He’s barely not a bible salesman, promoting a lame version of Christianity.
This has been your Moment of Science, pretty sure Freud would have had a field day with being told by a sweary divorcee with a praise kink how much of his field has amounted to birdcage lining.
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12/7/23
One of my patients today has been struggling with paranoia. Normally paranoia is a psychotic delusional symptom, but this guy's paranoia has been brought on by amphetamine abuse. Which meant he had very paranoid behaviors and delusions, without any of the other positive or negative symptoms that usually come with psychosis.
Concern was whether or not his wife was poisoning him, so, he was very focused on the results of his urine toxicology. We went through them together; positive for amphetamines, cannabinoids, caffeine, etc, stuff he wasn't surprised about. Then there was another drug I couldn't trace; it was eight syllables long, started with a P, and was obnoxious to try to pronounce. I had to google it while we were talking; Some kind of ingredient used in over the counter medications, like cough syrups. I asked him what over the counter stuff he'd taken since he was outside of the hospital, and he got this new, alert look on his face and said "None."
He ended up spending the next several hours on the patient phones making phone calls while I tried to sort out what on earth this medication was. It was such a long name, without a brand name, and so common in OTC stuff that I had to think it was utterly benign. But this is a fixation for this guy, and if we don't get to the bottom of it while he's here, we run the risk of him going home and attacking his wife.
Life's been difficult for both of them. They were apparently a happy couple up until the birth of their new baby, for which the mother's been suffering post partum depression and the dad's been abusing adderall. Otherwise great, now they're at each other's throats, and he's starting to make threats. So we want to prevent this from getting worse if it can.
The trouble is, I've never met this guy's wife. I hear all sorts of stories in this job. For all I know, maybe she really is trying to poison him. So I can't tell him "Oh she definitely didn't," because I don't know, and I would never say "Oh I promise she's trying to kill you" unless I had a smoking gun. But this guy's paranoia was so bad, he was convinced it was, in fact, a smoking gun.
This just led to me spending a few hours this morning making phone calls to pharmacists, toxicologists, convening with the doctors personally, and even talking with state poison control. Lots of different suggestions and possibilities of where the drug came from, with promises of looking into it from supervisors. One person from poison control actually worried me; They talked about how the drug was apparently discontinued for human use in 2000 by the FDA, but could still be found in medications prescribed by Vets. I was absolutely NOT about to let the patient hear that possibility!
A few hours later I finally got a call back from the doctor of toxicology, who explained pretty simply; the ingredient is a byproduct of the production of adderall. That's why it showed up in the expanded urine drug screen by itself; if his wife was slipping him something else OTC, it would also be showing up in that expanded report, after all. I told the patient, he had a deep breath, thanked me for all that leg work. He actually took his first antipsychotics from me half an hour earlier, too. Seemed like he was willing to accept, "Okay, it's me. It's not my wife, it's me. I'm the problem."
The attending physician actually thanked me for alerting them to the new fixation on the mystery drug by the patient, because they'd been trying to work out whether he was safe for discharge this morning. This discovery indicated he wasn't yet. Got some pats on the back for how I handled all this actually!
His wife actually visited him tonight though, along with his parents. Looks like everyone wants to forgive each other and work together to get past this. I'm all for it.
#dear diary#diary entry#nursing#psych#psychosis#psychiatry#nurse#schizophrenia#cw: drugs#cw: addiction#paranoia#adderall#amphetamine
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Charlotte Sands – Good Now EP
”No I’ll never be all right, but maybe I’ll get close…” Charlotte Sands sings vulnerably on the single “Alright,” as she now has a true home for the great song on the Good Now EP. Sands stormed onto the music scene by being at the tip of the tongue of bands, like The Maine and Sleeping With Sirens, with key collaborations on singles such as “Loved You A Little,” and she continues her trajectory in the right direction with this latest collection of songs found here. The EP finds Charlotte Sands exploring the realm of possibilities that she can take her music next, and makes all the right moves on arguably her most dramatic and immediate record to date.
The EP opens cautiously with the title track as she admits, “Had a vision / That I’m on stage, and nobody’s watching me / I’m afraid that I’m who I’ll always be.” Her insecurities are instantly relatable in a music scene that is filled with “here today, gone tomorrow” artists struggling to find their footing. What makes Charlotte Sands different is her dedication to her songwriting craft that seems to be blossoming at just the right time.
”Lost” picks up the tempo with a synth-laden, club ready anthem that even pop mainstays like Lady Gaga would be jealous of. On the second verse, Sands bring up her past by confessing, “Eighteen in the city / Got as high as the ceiling / Mixed emotions with Adderall / Thinking nothing could kill me / Barely making a living / Get me out of the city.” As she revisits the person she was before she became a household name in the music scene, her crisp vocals paired with the frenetic beat showcase an artist willing to bare her soul for all the world to see, and relate to.
Other songs like “Tantrum” invite the listener into her headspace as she sings with triumphant fury, “I’m outta patience / And I’m seeing red / My thoughts are burning / A hole in my head / Wish I could bury it down / Til it’s dead.” It’s a song that rocks as hard as the passion Sands puts into it, and it makes for a great listening experience.
The back half of the EP kicks off with the aforementioned “Alright,” while the ballad “Lovesick” has a memorable, breathy chorus on the heart-wrenching song of, “I wish I was love sick / I wish I felt nauseous / Crying cause you didn’t call / Don’t know when I turned it off / I miss my heart racing / Scared to death of breaking / I wish so bad I could fall / But lately I don’t care at all / I wish I was love sick.” The song reminded me a bit of the love torn anthems from Olivia Rodrigo’s Sour, and yet Charlotte Sands has a style that really complements her voice. Things land on the right footing with the closing song of “Six Feet Under” that rocks along like an Avril Lavigne punk rock song, with equally pleasing results.
Overall, there’s plenty to love on Good Now, and it shines the bright light on Charlotte Sands booming music career that is exploding in the best of ways for her. She is taking full opportunity of this moment in time, and never relinquishes the stranglehold she has on these songs that are brimming with limitless possibilities of where she could take her music. If the EP has any faults, it’s that it ends too soon, but knowing the work ethic that Sands puts into her career, my money is on us not having to wait too much longer to hear what path her journey takes her next.
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