in catching fire, katniss explicitly chooses gale over peeta when she decides to stay in district twelve instead of running off into the woods to escape (cf, 34). katniss clearly frames this as a choice between peeta and gale (cf, 53). and peeta got the message, assuming that this was the final moment where katniss declared her love for gale and abandoned any chance of loving peeta the same way (mj, 280). because katniss obviously chose gale in this moment over her personal safety.
however, from the moment that the quell was announced, katniss chose peeta. from that moment forward, she was determined to sacrifice her life for his (cf, 50). and she chose him even before she started stretching for justifications of how peeta would be more valuable to the rebellion than her (cf, 69). because it was never really about the rebellion. it was only about her love for him.
and this is a huge deal. because by choosing peeta over herself in the quell, katniss is subsequently choosing peeta over everyone in her life. her mother. gale. and… prim. and that is insane in the context of the series.
because when gale suggests plans to katniss, like running away before the reaping (thg, 9), katniss will immediately turn it down because of her responsibility to protect prim (thg, 10). and even when katniss chooses to stay to incite a rebellion with gale, her resolve is shaken when she considers the potential danger it would bring to prim (cf, 35). the only remedy for this is for her to think about how the rebellion would actually protect prim (and other people like her) because it would get rid of the capitol for good (cf, 36). and so prim is always the deciding factor when katniss chooses gale.
that is why it is literally insane that katniss chose peeta in the arena. because she wasn't thinking about prim when she made the decision. or anytime after. and if katniss died, prim would still be just as vulnerable as she was before, maybe even more. because her family would be thrown back into poverty and left without their primary breadwinner. and the reaping would still loom over her every year. but katniss's resolve was never shaken.
and maybe katniss assumed that gale and peeta would take care of her family. but we will never know. because she never thinks about how her family will survive without her. because all she can think about is peeta. from the moment the quell is announced, she is focused solely on his survival, not addressing the elephant in the room.
in fact, when peeta tries to bring up the fact that people like prim need her to survive, katniss actively refuses to acknowledge it, stopping his words with passionate kisses. she understands that she is leaving prim behind without a protector and provider. but, unlike with gale, she doesn't try to work out in her head specifically how choosing peeta will help prim.
so, in a moment of complex selfishness from a typically selfless character, katniss chooses peeta over everyone else in her life that needs her. including prim. because it doesn't matter that they need her. she still chooses peeta.
because she needs him. because she loves him. and because she knows that she would stop living if he died.
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god, now that we know lu guang's big secret, his reaction to qian jin shooting cheng xiaoshi is so horrifically gut-wrenching, the way he went absolutely ballistic afterwards, the inestimable amount of times he has likely had to witness cheng xiaoshi dying, perhaps finally deluding himself into thinking he finally bypassed the death node - and while cheng xiaoshi was alright in the end, the sheer horror that lu guang experienced at that moment, thinking that it's all been undone again. it's all been for naught... i'm sorry i'm just
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Headcanon;
Severus is a graze eater. He has snacks stashed in his office, work room, private chambers. From what I know of his childhood, I doubt he was getting regular or decent meals.
Even though he's spent a couple decades at Hogwarts and rationally knows there's going to be more than enough food every day, it's both a habit and feeling of security to have something to eat where he can easily get to.
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I'm continuing my DAO replay and like....... are we just not going to talk about the fact that Anora's handmaiden is Orlesian?
I'm sorry, how did the Queen of Fereldan end up with an Orlesian handmaid? Did Loghain approve of that? Because I bet he sure didn't! Given everything about him, I bet he threw a real stink about that! And yet, Erlina is close enough to Anora to beg the wardens to save her after she's locked up by Howe, appearing entirely loyal to her.
So I broke out the World of Thedas vol2 to see if it said something in there about her and I couldn't find anything. All the wiki has to say is, "Erlina is the handmaiden of Queen Anora. Not much is known about her background but she apparently escaped from Orlais. Arl Eamon suspects that she is more than a simple servant."
Gee, ya think, Eamon?
I just find that to be a very interesting detail, one that has my theorist gears cranking and spinning.
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Things I need to happen in It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia s17:
Robert McElhenney III stops being worried about Mac being ~Bad Gay Rep~ and rather than having him consistently be More Sympathetic and Less Bad than the other members of the gang he's also shown as being manipulative and cruel and having some sort of character again outside of being Dennis' stupid, pathetic lost pet a Gay Man.
Do you guys remember when Mac was "bossy" and "the brains".
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