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susandsnell · 4 months

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CHOOSE VIOLENCE: 12, 18, 22, 23

thanks so much maggie!!! sorry for the delay. hope you're well!!

choose violence ask game 🔥

12. The unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them.

pick any woman lmao. but i'm going to say i'm especially defensive of may welland from the age of innocence and amy march from little women. the former is hated for trying to put a stop to an affair her husband was having/protect herself from being left for another woman when before they ever got married, she told newland straight up he didn't have to marry her if he wasn't sure and his dumb ass was so indecisive he tried to have his cake and eat it too, and nearly ruined both their lives. as for amy, she's unjustly hated for the high crime of 1) being kind of bratty as a child and 2) having the audacity to marry laurie, who she loved, instead of jo who is a lesbian who did not/could not commit to him. Perhaps the view of this has been skewed by the 2019 flick where Florence Pugh is playing an 8 year old and a twentysomething, but it really says something that classic lit fandom will fawn over the most atrocious, insufferable men imaginable (Rochester should've roasted and I'll die on that hill) but if a little girl , a literal child, has an age-appropriate fit of rage once and argues with her sisters (do these people not...have siblings?), culminating in her destroys her sister's things and said sister is everyone's self insert character (except, conveniently, for her rejections/subversions of femininity GEE I WONDER WHY), that's apparently a bridge too far. Even if she's overall a sweet person and outgrows being, again, kind of annoying as a kid.

Also, does Carlotta Giudicelli from Phantom of the Opera count? (Let's go with the musical version here for argument's sake.) She's a bit of a diva, sure, but honestly she earned it and is iconic for it, and she literally just wanted workplace safety and to not be replaced by a significantly younger and skinnier performer based on someone in power's attraction to said performer, which is still a very real issue in the entertainment world! She takes no shit! She was kind of hard on Christine when she wasn't to blame but c'mon, I'd hardly be the most reasonable or understanding if there was a serial killer on the loose bumping off my coworkers who was constantly threatening my life and that of my partner, and had suffered public humiliation twice at the hands of said nutjob. And she then has to find her husband dead as almost an afterthought to the wider plot. TeamCarlotta, she did nothing wrong except be slightly rude under extremely upsetting circumstances. I think she was more disliked in past Phantom fandom than she is now, but c'mon. Feature her more in fanworks, she's a badass!

18. it’s absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on… I can't answer 'women' twice, but I will just say as a generality deconstructing popular fic tropes. Really pick apart the horrific implications of what a Soulmates/Reincarnation AU looks like when equipoised against one's free will. Or heck, make it funny - There Is Only One Bed and this sonofabitch keeps kicking me. Just keep things fresh!!!

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores Ooh, tough one! Again, the cop-out answer is 'character's canonical flaws and worse moments, or their better points if they're worse characters' lolol, but I really in general get bummed when people shirk worldbuilding and cool concepts in service of the same handful of relationship tropes? Not to be one of those people who bitches about lacking gen while also not contributing gen content - I fully acknowledge myself I'm more into the relationship aspect of things, but whether it's the fullest potential of the Train in Infinity Train, the way the Force is deconstructed as some kind of horrific fate-controlling entity in Knights of the Old Republic 2, so so so so so much vampire lore/rules/mythos in any given vamp media and its fandom, I wish it was just acknowledged and played with more! You could even do so in service of ships/characterization if you're clever!

23. ship you’ve unwillingly come around to Another tough call! I tend to stick to my guns on ships and either end up liking them out of the gate and then that like can turn into total brainrot, or I just kind of dislike them and stay disliking them. If we're talking some real crack, I started as vaguely amused by Barbenheimer (the crossover ship based on the phenomenon) to getting surprisingly behind cracky content made for it. I'm sorry I don't have a more dramatic or satisfactory answer on this front, but as I said, I tend to stick around my early-formed opinions on ships, and most of them I approach from a neutral perspective to begin with and see if it's swayed by solid content, canon or fanon.

#ask night #thanks so much!!! sorry for the wait #choose violence asks

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eshidu · 7 months

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I remember you said something in tags a long time ago about how it’s more efficient to order bigger pizzas due to how they do sizes, and I’ve lived my life by that ever since.

Omg yaaay I love to hear that lolol

So so glad my random food knowledge has come in handy! (Via more pizza yahooo!!) I'm sure the pizza places you order from appreciate your consistency

Here's some more of my favorite food tips to give out that no one asked for UwU

- if you cut spicy peppers, rub a pea-worth of neutral oil (canola) on your hands, then just as much dish soap before actually washing your hands w water. The capsaicin binds w the oil and comes off easier!

- if youre making your own spaghetti/tomato based pasta but don't wanna add too much sugar, you can let your sauce simmer with big slivers of orange peels to help sweeten it! The orange works well against the spices. (A splash of orange juice also rly boosts the flavors in banana bread, zucchini bread, pumpkin bread, and even tomato soup!)

- a little pinch of lemon zest in garlic butter, specifically for garlic bread, is an absolute game changer

Actually maybe I should provide more food ordering tips, so

- for a cheaper pumpkin spice latte dupe at starbux, order a blonde roast coffee w cream/milk of choice, and two pumps of the pumpkin syrup

- instead of a big Mac, order a mcdouble with bigmac sauce and lettuce. You'll miss the middle bun, its otherwise the same for cheaper.

- for McDougal again, if you're gonna get a quarter pounder, order it first so the grillcooks can toss it on right away; they're typically made to order cuz they don't sit well (smallify under their own weight coupled w the heat lamps, so they're rarely made beforehand)

Here's more pizza stuff courtesy of my partner from their pizza manager days:

- pizza actually freezes really well! Order extra and freeze it, heat it up in the oven 350 for about 8min for a whole pizza

- you can ask for your pizza well done if you want your cheese golden instead of just melty

-if they have fresh parm, ask for it to be added AFTER the bake, else it just blends into the mozzarella (unless that's how you like it, but you're missing out on richer parm flavor)

- if you order spinach, ask them to put it between the sauce and the cheese- under the cheese specifically, and it won't burn during the bake.

And lastly, my ultimate fastfood wisdom:

How to make Wendy's frosty:

- 14oz sweetened condensed milk

- 8oz cool whip, still firm/cold

- 8cups or half gal 1% chocolate milk

- 1 Tablespoon vanilla extract

Blend together till smooth and freeze for about 4hrs

You'll likely wanna blend in two batches since most blenders only hold about 8 cups to begin with, but there ya go! :3

#sorry for all the text im in bed sick lol nothing else to do #mun

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forjongseong · 2 years

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Omg George Clooney is sooooo bae 😌😌🤌🏻🤌🏻 hahaha but yes men in suits get me d worded every time ugh they look sooooo FOINE! And girrrrrl you are not old! You just know good movies hehehe!!!

HOLY SHIT I FORGOT ABOUT THE DOLPHIN TRAINER AHHDHDHSHAHAHAHHAH I LOVE MELISSA'S MOVIES LOL she plays them so well! And I love it when her husband cameos because she always roasts him lolol!!! Have you seen Murder Mystery or Knives Out???

MEN IN SUITS is literally ahksdahskdjasdhkdas MY FAVORITE THING I WILL BARK for men in suits LMAOOOOO

When the topic of who will be the next James Bond appeared and some people named Idris Elba I ALMOST WENT FERAL I love him so much

MELISSA ABSOLUTELY CRUSHES every movie she stars in omg she's so fucking hilarious... and I LOVE MURDER MYSTERY I kept guessing the murderer wrong lmao AND I REWATCHED KNIVES OUT couple of weeks ago it is STILL SO GOOD and I love the aesthetics of that movie too!!!

#nanaanswers #from.genie

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filthyfirth · 3 years

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I just realized that if tequila wasnt in tgc the movie wouldn't have changed in anything. like what is the purpose of that character? seriously lol, everyday I just think abt new things that doesn't make sense in tgc. what also doesn't make any sense is, statesman has fucking alphagel, but doesn't have a tool for disabling land mines? are you fucking kidding me?? there's l i t e r a l l y no excuse for killing merlin.

omg omg ALSO how they did not have a better way to track Charlie's gf? they had to make all of that full cringe unnecessary nsfw scene just to put a tracking device in her? all the tech developed is biased by the shitty plot? oh ffs, I'm sure there are better ways of getting a shirtless scene of taron, if that was the main purpose (bc we all want it let's be real).

I'm sorry for bringing this up when everyone else already did but I find such fun in roasting this movie lol.

#I absolutely love roasting it lolol #tgc is a fever dreamm #thank God we got that hug scene and the scene of them fighting #delete the tequila and the president scenes #and that scene in the music festival also #and the movie will be so much better #tgc #kingsman the golden circle #eggsy #Harry hart #taron egerton #colin firth #shitposting #rant

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steve0discusses · 2 years

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S5 Ep 31 Part 2: Bakura Eats a Garlic

Pharoah, unaware that his friends are trying to find him in that maze that Yugi has never been able to solve in his entire life, is pondering on his new/ancient friends...and whether they classify as “friends”

They don’t actually! Good on him for picking up on this.

And yes, I still didn’t pick up on the fact this guy was Dark Magician, even after this girl shows up:

Just...it really tells you about my card game knowledge in how I saw this chick with that nonsense hat and was like “...Rebecca?”

Anyway, this girl is a lot.

Pharaoh almost got murdered by Bakura, the world almost ended just now, and she spent her time in a pot.

We gracefully left Rebecca back in Northern California, only to run into basically the same girl in Egypt. Neat.

(read more under the cut)

Remember how in S1 I was like “Yami probably had some child bride or some nonsense” and then I was like lolol of course not, he’s way too awkward for those freakin young Egyptian marriages and now it’s like...this is her right? This is this situation?

Anyway, she has a weird crush on Yami that she never actually says is legit crush or a hobby crush or if they just happen to be the only children the same age in this palace so they hang out too much but have never actually had any romantic interest in eachother. But, it’s enough of a relationship that this is the first person he recognizes without actually being told what her name is.

When Mana brought up his lack of hat that she assumes gave him sunstroke and roasted his bean, I looked at that head and was like....

...what type of hat does Pharaoh WEAR?

Like for reals, he’s already got a huge ass crown, so like...where does the hat GO?

Like I just never think about Yugi in a hat, but that has to happen occasionally, right? Like...is it a situation like Grandpa in that fedora where the extra hair vanishes? Or would the hat balance oh so delightfully on that middle hair spike?

It feel like thinking of Yami in a hat is a little bit this situation:

Woops, my apologies

There, better.

At least it makes sense to have a crush on Yami, as he is covered in jewelry and rich ass suave Pharaoh energy, vs Yugi, who is a nice guy but is in a constant state of danger and anxiety. That and she is the Dark Magician Girl card, quite obviously. (The fact I didn’t pick up on this right away is frankly embarrassing) And, as we know, card lovers are the only lovers that matter in Yugioh. Crosses 5000 years and several incarnations. Card love is eternal, even if you’re just “a girl that used to jump out at me from weird pottery, I guess.”

Can’t believe the Dark Magician Girl is so freakin unhinged but I’m sure we’ll find out more on that in time because wow this girl is a lot of a disaster.

Out living his best life in the desert, Bakura is having deep thoughts over dinner.

WTF was this food in the non-dub?

Like it had to be some sort of bao right? And they just deleted the filling?

If this is an Egyptian treat let me know, because from here that sure is an entire head of garlic skins and all om nom nom.

So Bakura makes a new plan, ignore Pharaoh, and go for the one that doesn’t have 3 entire God Cards.

Which...sorry this is the first time I’ve ever thought about this although this arc has gone on for so many episodes...they don’t have decks here. Everyone has unfettered access to every monster in the world in that temple. So like...you could just hail over anyone, and sure you have to sacrifice souls...usually...

...hey...wait a second...

...no one sacrificed their soul in these Egyptian duels I just realized...wait what?

Wait. Maybe that happens later in this arc but the soul sacrifices from earlier seasons that talked about ancient Egyptian duels that absolutely had soul sacrifices to summon cards and ended up in my deathcount...I think they got retconned. Oh shoot I almost didn’t realize that.

But anyways, you can hail people over a hell of a lot easier than it takes to play a normal ass Yugioh card. Like even in Duel Masters, which I now have experience in, I have yet to figure out how to summon a Link Monster higher than level 2, so this just seems way easier. Even if you have to kill a couple cultists (which again, seems to have been retconned)--easier to understand than than the actual card game Yugioh.

(My bro and I share a steam account and he made me a deck of just a bunch of cars and motorcycles, ps. They go vroom vroom and don’t require being killed or banished 12 times to work so now I main the vroom vroom deck. I don’t remember the official name of it, and I will never remember it.)

But just having an infinite temple of every card that doesn’t require an asinine set of steps to work seems OP, honestly. Bakura would have a hell of a time. Makes sense now how Seto could so easily murder Yami I mean...he had literally every card. Like the gun vault is just OPEN. For anyone to use.

The fact that this isn’t Marik gets rid of a lot of poetic energy here. What a bummer that the traitorous bromance between Marik and Bakura doesn’t return in S5 with yet another murder.

So the next day arrives, and Mahad is like “sure is a good day to freakin die on a hill.” Just like twitter.

Then back at the palace, Yami is trying to figure out what the hell he was ever doing with his past life. Here at the...whatever architectural decisions happened with his fence. Pharaoh needs to fix the statuary situation on his lawn.

Listen why is the tail on the right butt cheek? And if I’m supposed to think that the left butt cheek is actually legs...then what the hell is the right butt cheek?

What is this?

More confusing than the Millennium puzzle, this weird ram butt statue.

And then the other riddle of the sphinx:

So, this one time I saw a webcomic I’m gonna put on blast a little bit but they’ll never see this so it’s OK, and it had a name like “I’m a short 28 year old man that looks like I’m 12 and I can’t get a girlfriend” and I was like “...OK?” and so I was so weirded out by the longass and very specific title that I read the 5 pages it had before the author went on an infinite hiatus. The entire comic was a wealthy anime businessman in a hospital who was very short, and he was trying to get a nurse to marry him. But, no matter what, he could not get the nurse to figure out that he wasn’t 12 years old.

At no point did the guy say “Hey I’m not 12, and I just added you on linkedIn as proof.” At no point did he say “Sorry, I just got off the phone with my work, because I have to work for a living, because I’m Not Freakin 12.” Instead, of flashing his drivers license or his college diploma, he had to clumsily slip and fall on his nephew or something so that the nurse thought he was dating his own nephew (???) and he never says “that’s literally my nephew what the hell?” Instead, the guy proceeded to beg for her hand in marriage without addressing the problem in any way whatsoever.

Anyways, this is not nearly the same level of stupid, but the show needs to give us some actual magical reason why Mana literally can’t tell him his name, because it’s too easy to just cover her eyes and be like “guess who!?” like it’s so freakin easy to get your own name from your card girlfriend/card wife. Like I just wish the show gave us some better reason than “you’re pharaoh so I have to call you Pharaoh”...or we’re in a hospital and the plot is trying to explain it’s just because we’re too damn short.

Anyway, first day on the throne, and the Dark Magician has decided he wants to die and Yami’s like “already there, buddy.”

And then Dark Magician girl freaks the hell out and I finally connected the dots.

It took.

THAT LONG.

On the first watch of this episode I did with my bro, I probably saw the tablet down there and was like “nope this is a card duel, I know it in my bones” and probably fast forwarded and skipped this reveal. I have no other excuse other than my short term memory has been completely shot from pandemic exhaustion.

So like...Mahad may have actually been with this girl the whole time, I don’t know how dating in Egypt works, and I SUPER don't know how dating in Yugioh works, but like...Dark Magician Girl is actually Dark Magician’s Student...

That’s some lore, I guess.

But speaking of people with weird love lives, Isis comes up to Mahad, has an awkward moment, and spoils the future for him. Isis is just kind of quiet and awkward around people, and it does make you wonder if the awkwardness of the dub fueled some fanfic somewhere of her hooking up with all the other adults in his castle at some earlier point.

He tells her “take care of Pharaoh for me.” and she was probably like “wellllllllll the prediction on that kid is a weirder version of himself in a blue blazer suit thing”

And we get a flashback to Mahad’s history, where we see a younger, mini Pharoah. Nearly the same size as Yugi.

Anyway, he’s getting attacked by a snake because he wanted to give Mana a piece of fruit.

Took me this freakin long.

It took me so long.

When I saw that hair wasn’t white as snow I was like “ffffffffff” and I looked at all my caps and was like “I’m not changing them. I’m not. I’m going to keep them as is, and whatever. It’s part of the experience.”

And hey, maybe if Marik wasn’t trapped underground in very stressful situations, maybe his hair would be brown? Maybe he’d have sweet Zoey Deschanel type bangs like we all did in the early 2010′s? Maybe.

And then Pharaoh does this nasty snake bite remedy that was debunked like 30 years ago.

I assume that in the non-dub, Pharaoh was like covered in blood during this segment. Would be kind of disappointing if they didn’t tbh.

But it was because of stuff like that, as to why Marik is now hell bent on protecting his Pharoah. Because Yami might be a dumbass, but he’s a very good dumbass. And like he’s done better than the last Pharaoh who killed an entire village. Sorry his name is not Marik. I will probably never stop doing that, oh damn it, this is going to be rough for me.

Back in the present, Mahad decides to lure Bakura out by pretending to return Yami’s Dad to his tomb. Instead, Mahad goes to a completely different tomb where I assume Dark Magician hangs out.

This lure was completely unnecessary because 1.) Bakura knows where Yami’s Dad was buried, he was there 2 episodes ago and 2.) he only wants the ring so you didn’t need a freakin lure. Chances are, Mahad just wanted an excuse to fight Bakura without Yami getting worried and without any help from any of the other millennium item people. Which like...why dude? Yami proved he could protect you, why are you...whatever. Mahad does what he wants, just like Marik.

After Bakura enters the tomb, Mahad’s goons are ordered to just block that exit with big ass rocks, with the intention of killing them both.

And this horse. RIP horse. You were too hard to animate. Which, youknow, shoutouts to animators, it takes a long time to do, it’s really bad for your body to do, they don’t get paid enough, it kind of sucks, so go ahead and kill your horses, I won’t judge.

And so next time I guess it’ll be a card duel the entire time which I look forward to because these have been like a lot of information in each episode. Would be nice for me to have an episode that’s like 10 caps but we’ll see. This arc is just doing a lot of legwork, trying to wrap up stuff from like actual years ago. I can’t believe they decided it shouldn’t be the whole season but well, that’s TV for you.

And if you want to read these from the beginning in chrono order, here is your link:

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

#yugioh #YGO #Yu-Gi-Oh #S5 #Ep31 #Photo recap #episode recap #Bakura #Yami #Horse #Mahad #The Dark Magician #Mana #Girl Magician #Seto Kaiba #For reals though what was that head of garlic #garlic

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feifood · 3 years

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HIIIII 💕

IM BACK AGAIN TO FILL UP YOUR DUSTY MHA MASTERLIST. lmao that was a joke pls don’t be hurt🥺. Anyways, hc for shinso and bakugo with a bestie who’s like hella good at roasting people? I feel like they both would love that. Like anyone who shits on shinso gets to be put in their place by y/n. And bakugo will straight up challenge them. Idk I just thought this would be a funny dynamic. Ok that’s all babes remember to get some sleep 🌸

Best Friend who’s Good at Roasting People

Bakugo, Shinso

HII welcome back it’s so nice seeing you here hehe I LOVE this idea and I definitely agree with the whole dynamic thing -- thank you sm for the kind words lovely,, I hope you have a great day/night <33

Bakugo:

Bakugo would ABSOLUTELY LOVE a friend who can match his energy and roast people with him

HOWEVER. I do imagine your first time meeting to be a little bit wonky

Bakugo probably already knew that you were good at roasting people, and so he kind of saw you as a threat because what if you roast him ?? He would not appreciate that very much

So in the beginning he’s a bit weary of you, doesn’t really start conversations and won’t really talk to you unless necessary

But one day when he’s roasting someone you joined in and HE WAS SO IMPRESSED BY YOUR SKILLS

Befriends you immediately right there and then

From then on you two were just an unstoppable dynamic

And he honestly really appreciates you being there because you’d often keep him in place as well

If he ever goes overboard or steps over a line you’re there to inform him and bring him back

It’s just all good vibes plain and simple

Shinso:

Shinso didn’t realize how much he needed a friend that was good at roasting people until you came along LOLOL

I think that Shinso is also secretly good at roasting people but he chooses to not say it out loud and just keep it in his head instead

BUT WITH YOU HERE he can tell you the jokes and you can say it out loud askjhdfkj

Also sometimes you think of a roast that’s better than his and he just loves watching you absolutely lose it with the roasts

If Shinso had bullies he sure doesn’t now because you would’ve already sent them running home crying

When Shinso first met you he wasn’t as on guard as Bakugo was

But he was very interested in being your friend even though he didn’t show it

Basically in your dynamic with Shinso you’re the Bakugo (if that makes sense)

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mothergayselle · 3 years

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I Said... Hold Still // Obey Me // MC x Lucifer

rating: t words: 3.5k summary: takes place during the furry event, MC does the boys’ makeup for the video but takes *special care* with lucifer’s

xxx

“Stop squirming, Levi. You’re going to smear everything and then I’m going to get mad.”

Leviathan blushed, visibly racked with the desire to fidget in the chair. “I can’t help it,” he said, crossing and uncrossing his ankles, which clunked into hers. “You’re so close to my face.”

A scoff audibly sounded off in the background, and the unmistakable tenor of Mammon’s voice filled the dining room.

“Yeah. A little too close, eh? Back off, Levi!”

Freya sighed. As long as Levi’s face was scrunched with annoyance, it’d be impossible to apply any more makeup to it. She paused, her hand a patient dove hovering in the air, coasting, while Levi replied.

“I’m not doing anything! You back off, stupid scumbag!”

“Hey! Ya gotta stop callin’ me that! Or else!”

“Or else, what? What are you going to do to me?”

The demon-princes were scattered throughout the entirety of the ornate, elaborate dining room, yet the collective sigh uttered by every mouth was a palpable hurricane churning in the air above them. A violent, fiery blush creeped into Levi’s neck, and Freya stilled her hand once more as he ducked his head in embarrassment.

She had to force herself not to sigh herself. “Relax, Levi. I’m not going to attack you.”

“Yes, hun, but that he wishes you would is the point,” said a voice from the opposite corner. A slash of daylight pierced through the window in front of him, illuminating the slender curve of his body. Even in that ridiculous costume. Asmodeus.

“If you know what I mean,” he finished. Freya didn’t have to look to know he was probably winking at them. The sunlight did nothing to illuminate the dripping sin of his voice.

Freya ignored the fresh wave of blood washing over Levi’s face, deepening the red even further. All that was needed was a quick blending of the brow-powder, and he’d be done, though if these idiots kept on rambling she wasn’t sure she’d ever be able to get him to hold still.

Even now, he seemed to vibrate in place, although he managed to keep himself in place enough to refrain from fidgeting. Freya worked as fast as possible, working as casually as she could without smudging the lines. If they could keep their mouths shut for once in their goddamn life--

“If what you mean is kissing, then yes. We do get what you mean. Levi, at least attempt to not think about it.”

xxx

read on AO3

xxx

…..

SATAN, you motherFU--

“No one is kissin’ ANYONE, do ya hear me!?”

“Oo-oh, how scandalous!! I want to see someone kiss!”

“Okay, tell me I didn’t wake up from a nap just to hear about Freya kissing someone!”

“Relax, Belphie. No one is kissing.”

“Ya damn straight, no one is kissing. Not ever! If Freya is kissin’ anyone it’s gonna be m--”

“Me! It’d be me! After all, who wouldn’t want to kiss me?”

“Enough.”

As Lucifer silenced the room, Freya shot Satan a glare, who returned the gesture with a grin so warm you’d never know how on purpose that truly was. What an arsonist. Truly. It was practically art.

The dining room was momentarily cast in shadow -- Freya looked beyond a mortified Levi to see a thick wall of cloud oozing across the sky. A frown tugged the corners of her lips down.

“All right, you lot,” said Lucifer. His voice crawled into the spaces around them like congealed molasses. “Clear out. Diavolo wants to start shooting as soon as possible.”

The most awkward of silences left the dining room charged and heavy, and all but Levi and Lucifer started towards the main hall.

Meanwhile, Freya wanted to be conscientious of his personal boundaries -- as he so often said he didn’t like to be touched -- but Freya wasn’t just about to let Levi leave after that.

“Hey, look up for me one more time before you go.”

She and Lucifer made zero comments about how dark his skin had become in embarrassment -- magenta would be too fitting for comfort. Freya, in her peripherals, saw how Lucifer pretended to preen himself in a corner away from them, adjusting and then readjusting his feline costume so it couldn’t possibly fall any straighter or more crisp on the lines of his body.

Levi complied, absolutely rock-frozen as he titled his eyes to the ceiling. Even the inner workings of his jaw were inert with strain.

“Did you know,” Freya began, dabbing ice-silver highlighter to his waterline, “That giraffes throw up on a regular basis?”

She was momentarily met with silence as Levi made himself unclench his teeth. “Giraffes?”

“Mhm. An animal in the human realm. Really long neck. Think of a horse with a snake-neck.”

“Whoa. That sounds like a final boss or something. If their neck is so long, how do they not suffocate then?”

It was working -- his skin was clearing of blush, returning to a lovely cream-shade which she always thought brought out the gold in his eyes so well. Freya, in an effort to dispel some of his shame, didn’t meet his eyes when they gazed at her out of curiosity. She prodded the outside corner of his eye with the same highlighter, tapping the glimmer into place.

“Well… that’s what I wanted to know, so I researched it for awhile. They have a bunch of spaces in their stomach so as they digest food, they puke it up into their mouth and then eat it all over again. Bizarre, right?”

Levi’s subsequent grin made itself onto her face as well, though she was careful to still avoid his direct gaze. And, was that Lucifer’s cheeks lifted in the over corner over there, or was that her own imagination?

“That sounds like Beel,” he said, beaming at her.

“They were my favorite animal for awhile after that, just because I would always laugh when I thought of it. In an environmental class back home we studied this, and as soon as it was brought up, I just couldn’t stop laughing. I got kicked out of class.”

“OMG,” Levi said. “That is hilarious! LOLOL, like, I totally would’ve lost it too.”

“It’s ridiculous. But it does make me smile, even to this day. Maybe it’ll help you too now.”

Levi’s answer was something soft in his eyes, like a window being opened.

Freya snapped the ridiculously expensive highlighter palette closed, absentmindedly making a note to somehow manipulate Asmo into getting her one just like it.

She tried to refrain from kissing anyone in the academy but that palette… perhaps kissing was not beneath her after all...

“‘Kay. You’re good to go!”

The clogged energy tangibly evaporated as they both righted themselves in the chairs, widening the amount of space between them. Levi didn’t look fully recovered -- his movements were a little too fast, a bit too premature.

However, as he stood up to join the others, the dread from earlier wasn’t etched onto the crevices of his face, and he smiled before heading out the door.

“Thanks, Freya! Seriously.” He dashed through the entryway, the joyful spring under his feet practically palpable.

The next breath was drawn in through the nose. Freya turned to the impromptu makeup station Asmodeus had set up for her earlier in the morning once more.

“Okay, lurker,” she called out. “Sit your butt down before I decide I don’t want to do this anymore and set fire to the building so Diavolo will send me away.”

The waxed, polished, impeccable hardwood floors clapped his shoes in greeting with every intentional footfall. Even from the side while she retrieved more eyeshadow, she could see the grimace on his mouth. He was staring straight through her.

“Not funny.”

Freya couldn’t help but grin as she swiveled the chair to face him.

“It was funny, but we both know you wouldn’t admit it even if you agreed so let’s get to business, shall we?” Freya held up a pen of liquid eyeliner for him to see.

Lucifer made no further comment, but she could’ve sworn his jaw looked like it wanted to come undone in a smile, just for a second. He nodded, burgundy eyes locked onto her face.

“Scoot closer. This always sucks the most.”

When he complied, their legs were utterly entangled, each thigh resting lightly against the other’s. Freya didn’t stop or make a comment -- she knew the rules of the game with him and wasn’t going to lose because of that.

If anything, the contact excited her. She’d be close enough to catch any reaction he made, scrutinize every inch of his visage for a sign of victory. When one edge of his mouth lazily pulled to the side in the faintest smirk she’d ever seen, an impish gesture, she knew he was on the same wavelength.

Freya leaned in, closing the distance between their faces until the warm billows of his breath collided gently over her cheeks.

“Don’t mind me,” she said, bringing a hand to cup the cheek opposite the eye she was going to start on. “I have to steady myself because I had a lot of coffee this morning and I can feel myself about to have a seizure.”

Lucifer did smile at that, and she mirrored him as her fingers slipped through the hair at the back of his head. Silk. Fresh rain. A bubble of clouds. There didn’t seem to be a description accurate enough to articulate the softness of each strand. Her palm came to rest on his jaw.

The dick part of her wanted to ask what kind of conditioner he used, to purposely destroy the playful tension, if only to mitigate the effect the intimacy had on her. It was certainly a go-to, and she had half a mind to blurt it out when his expression suddenly changed.

“That was kind of you,” Lucifer murmured, and she could practically feel the heat of his red gaze wash through her, “What you did for Levi. Comforting him so as to not embarrass him further.”

An unwanted softness expanded in the pit of her belly and her hand momentarily haltered all movement. She drew back to look at him, and felt her waggish expression melt into something more like his own.

Freya’s gaze tugged down at their legs, spidered out in a flamboyant web of limbs. “I’m all for a good roast, but they should be more mindful with how often they pick on him. He already has super bad self-esteem.”

Lucifer grimaced as pain, sympathetic, cracked across her face. “That he does.”

“Makes me want to punch him,” she mumbled, almost inaudibly. Exhaling, Freya lifted the eyeliner pen to Lucifer once more, tracing a thin cat-eye along the edge of his lashes.

“If he says that he’s too gross to love one more time, I will use our pact to make him do daily affirmations until he stops. I’m not above that.”

It was a while before Lucifer reacted to that, and a few moments of silence soothed the spaces around them. When he seemed to smile, Freya kept wordless and leaned in further, cleaning up the sharp edge of the wing at his eye. If she leaned in any further, her lips would brush across his cheek. Adrenaline flooded her belly.

“Not the worst way to exploit your authority, I suppose.”

“Hell yeah. Call me the demon-whisperer, improving internal dialogue one Avatar at a time.”

She withdrew her hand just in time -- Lucifer’s cheeks avalanched in the expansion of a smile, twisting his mouth until the ivory-white of his teeth was exposed. Another grin, another victory.

“Sounds like quite the endeavor.”

“Quite right, Watson. Okay, done with that,” Freya said, ignoring his momentary confusion and scooting herself back to the pile of makeup. She exchanged the eyeliner for a pastel palette before picking up a small, fluffy brush.

“All Diavolo wanted was a mutuality between species, and here you are trying to rehabilitate the princes of Hell into developing a more healthy sense of self,” he mused.

Lucifer’s warm eyes lowered and tracked Freya’s movements as she closed in and began dabbing at his eyelids with a pale lavender color, which accentuated the darkness of his burgundy irises so nicely it was obscene.

Did she look as beautiful to him as he did to her?

“Oh, dear,” he chuckled. “Where did you go?”

It was just then that Freya realized she hadn’t been applying the makeup on him so much as she was staring at it.

“What’s wrong? Did the artistry of your own handiwork distract you?” His full lips twisted into a more mocking version of his earlier grin.

“Or is it simply my natural beauty you find so interesting?”

A low, humming laugh churned in the bottom of his throat as Freya’s nose wrinkled itself at him.

“Actually, I was just thinking that if this film wins first place, the entire Devildom will be witness to you and all of your furry glory.”

All of the mirth fled from Lucifer’s face as she spoke. Dark strands of aura collected around the crown of his head before winking out of existence.

“It’s an exciting thought, right?”

When his eyelids lowered, Freya leaned back in, blending in a blue pastel with the first. The air around him sizzled with tension that dripped off of his body. “As the film stands, there is almost a statistical impossibility that it will win the competition,” he drawled. So confident.

“So, basically, it’s a non-issue.”

“You really believe Diavolo -- or Barbatos for that matter -- who are obsessed with this project, couldn’t or wouldn’t pull strings in our favor?” The hand on his jaw exploded with invisible flame as she shifted it for no other reason than she wanted to--

Lucifer froze. Freya pretended to be absorbed in her work and readjusted her fingers -- a mere twitch of the extremity -- slipping several of them in the hollow under his ear while anchoring her thumb so that the pad of the fingertip framed the corner of his mouth.

A triumphant fanfare burst in her head. She got him, caught him off-guard. Enchanted him. The world was correct once more.

“Diavolo is a noble man,” she started, sweeping away the fallout with her knuckles. She caressed the soft skin under his eyes gently, with care. “But men like him -- the ones who proclaim to uphold truth and transparency…”

Lucifer did not move, even as she playfully tapped the tip of his nose with the makeup brush.

“Those are the ones you can’t trust.”

A few short moments passed before Lucifer spoke again.

“I don’t know what demons you’ve been hanging around,” he began, leaning forward an inch. “But some of us are perfect gentlemen.”

He was playing with her.

Do not look at his lips, do not look at his lips.

The brush in her hand lowered as Freya also leaned in, matching Lucifer’s bluff, and the crimson glow of his eyes was soon all she could see, rather than the eyes themselves.

“I’ve only met one perfect gentleman in my entire life. He was a golden retriever.”

She saw the curve of his eyes when he smirked.

“You clearly need better friends.”

“How fortunate I was kidnapped and brought here, then.”

“How fortunate, indeed.”

“Hey, are you guys going to kiss?”

The shock of the intrusion jolted both Lucifer and Freya, nearly pressing them together, so… maybe?

Lucifer recovered first, smoothly straightening in his chair like a candle wick burning true.

“What do you want, Asmo?”

Of course it was Asmo.

When Freya settled, returning the makeup brush to the tray, she saw Asmodeus hovering in the dining room’s entrance, the gold of his hair casting ethereal arcs of color across the archway.

His eyes were wide with curiosity. “Well, first, I want to see you kiss, but I also came to tell you Diavolo wants to start filming now.” Asmo’s gaze flickered back and forth between them.

“Tell Diavolo we’re on our way,” Lucifer said, saying nothing of the lewd request. After a tense moment and a hard glare, Asmo drifted off, the whites of his eyes revealed in an impressive arc.

“He realizes he can just kiss people, right?”

She couldn’t help but grin at the blank expression coating over Lucifer’s visage.

“He realizes,” Lucifer said. “It seems as if voyeurism is a big interest of his, however.”

Freya accidentally snorted. “I don’t know what isn’t.”

“Manners, perhaps.”

Someone sighed. Freya wasn’t sure if it was her or Lucifer. Eventually, the two shared a glance and his eyebrows rose in question.

“Is my makeup adequate enough for filming?” The brows remained high on his forehead, now teasing more than anything else.

Freya instinctively raked his features, looking for any asymmetrical flaws or lopsided shadow. There was nothing but a fleeting suspicion that it was only Lucifer’s immaculate complexion which completed the makeup, rather than the other way around. He wore the makeup, rather than the makeup highlighting the beauty already there. How ridiculous.

“One more thing, actually.”

The lazy affect warped into confusion, narrowing his features, and then awe, expanding them back again. Freya had darted in the space between their bodies, one finger somehow already dipped into a cherry-colored lip stain, and she began tapping the pigment onto Lucifer’s bottom lip, ignoring the way his mouth parted with shock.

“To match your eyes.”

He remained silent while he composed himself, drawing back his eyebrows and lips to a close. Freya forced her face to remain stoic -- the relish of eliciting these kinds of reactions was a special sort of drug, but to keep him playing along, she had to forfeit a few her victories to soften the blow to his ego. Demon of Pride and all. She was more than happy to keep up with him. Her giant ego demanded it.

As if he could hear her thoughts, Lucifer probed her gaze with his own, scrutinizing the miniscule movements her every facial feature made, but she gave away nothing. He was content to hold still until she was finished with him, smiling politely, the warmth not touching his eyes.

“And none for yourself?” he chirped.

Freya’s gaze darted to the makeup tray at her side, but a warm hand had gripped her chin and forced her head back to Lucifer. A swarm of butterflies awoke in her diaphragm.

“You dote on all of us so much,” he pronounced slowly, casually, bringing his thumb to his mouth. “But it seems as if you are often left wanting, isn’t that right?”

Heat so hot it was ice overturned her nervous system, bringing it to a halt. “It isn’t that bad. Beel buys me food. Asmo gives me clothes. Luke and Barbatos bake me whatever I want.”

Freya frantically attempted to memorize the feeling of his thumb brushing over her lips. Did he feel this tense when she’d done this, like a worn outlet ready to spark? She waited until he was satisfied to speak.

“I’d say I have it pretty good.”

Lucifer smirked, clearly unconvinced. He reached over her, grabbing a wipe from the table and cleaning his hand. Their faces were momentarily close once again, and the cologne from his neck wafted over her skin. So rich, like sandalwood, but faint at the same time. Noncommittal. It was a perfect scent for him.

When his gaze lowered to her mouth and back up again, she thought her form would explode.

“Hm. I’m not sure all of that’s an equal exchange, though.” He stared at her in bewilderment.

“... What?” Suddenly, she was too conscious of herself. Why did he look at her like that? Was he unsatisfied with the color or something?

She heard the roll of his stool before registering he’d placed his palms on her shoulders. They felt like boulders and feathers and as if they should be there all the time, keeping her from floating away in her wild fantasies of abandoning the human world so she could stay there forever. It was just like giraffes. Ridiculous… right?

“Your hair.”

Eh?

Lucifer’s eyes were sure and steady as they raked over her again and again.

“It should be down for the fight scene. When you faint, it should cover your face, create some symbolism there.”

… Interesting. She didn’t know he thought about details like that. Wasn’t this more of Asmo’s territory? Still, Lucifer had a point. She’d only braided that morning because it was convenient, getting too long and too curly for comfort.

“How dramatic,” she replied, chuckling at his sincerity. “You’re right, though. Obscuring the face makes a much bigger statement to the audience. Creates lots of tension.”

Lucifer’s knees knocked against hers, two entities floating alone in the ocean, and he moved his hands to the hair-ties at the end of her french braids.

They were dexterous, slipping off the rubber and untangling the curls without tugging on a single one. Goosebumps seeped through her skin, giving her a full-body euphoria.

If she was being honest, even this simple gesture had her feeling pampered, taken care of. It resembled nothing of the food or retail items she was frequently gifted with, although those were of course, appreciated.

No, this was like... communion. A merging of two. Freya found that she couldn’t muster a smirk or a smart-ass retort as Lucifer slipped his fingers through her hair, arranging it in perfect pieces that cascaded over her jaw. She felt she wanted to sleep instead. Take a nap. Fall asleep to the sensation of him there, soothing her into unconsciousness.

Ah. Any feeling of victory disappeared in an instant. This was too close to real intimacy to be a game.

Lucifer adjusted the curls one final time before gently extracting himself from her space. There wasn’t any trace of mischief on his face either, or deception, or avarice.

She caught herself absently grooming herself of invisible lint or stray hair in the moments after. It seems as if their communion was finished, and they were to get on with their mission for the day.

“Well,” Freya said, steadily rising to her feet. She extended a hand in his direction. “Ready to go to war over me?”

Lucifer’s subsequent smile radiated mirth. “Of course.” He curled his fingers around her palm and rose to face her.

“I always defend what is mine. To the death.”

An unexpected giggle erupted from him at the shock rapidly freezing her expression.

“I’m joking, Freya. I’m ready. Let’s do it.”

Lucifer jesting? How novel.

With her hand in his, they began making their way out of the dining room. The sun was out -- its light had finally defeated the storm clouds before it.

“Call me Helen, I guess.”

Their voices ricocheted off the elaborate carvings etched into the doorway.

“... You know the story of Troy, ri--”

“--Yes, Freya, I get the referen--”

“--Okay, cool. That would’ve been weird. I hate explaining jokes.”

#obey me #lucifer #mc x lucifer #shall we date #writing #fanfiction #mine #obey me lucifer #obey me levi #lucifer x reader #shall we date? obey me!

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writertitan · 3 years

Note

WAIT REQUESTS ARE OPEN IT'S PUNK!LEVI TIME GETTING ROASTED BY HIS S/O

LMAO HERE WE GO!!

Levi is kind of a sass master himself

It just makes sense that he’d meet his match in a partner

Punk!Levi, of course, looks like a bit of a hardass, and can act like one too

So when you come along and don’t even give a fuck about how he looks and even less about how he acts, it’s a little startling for him

Especially when he realizes you can always follow up with a snarky comment of your own after each of his

It’s honestly one of his favorite things about you even though he’d never admit it

Because you would just roast the shit out of him if he admitted it LMAO

One of your favorite things to do is bring up old pictures of him from when he was younger and still hadn’t found his style yet

More of an Emo!Levi than a Punk!Levi back then tbh

The best thing to get him red in the face is his old MySpace page

It kills you every single time

You just love pointing out his hairstyle at the time, or what he’d wear

Even though you also roast what he wears now

You obviously love his style now, it’s much more refined and indicative of who he is, but you still roast it lmfao

He was much more “adventurous” back then with his attire

Now he’s very monochromatic and likes solids and simple patterns

But you like to tell him that he’s getting duller with age and it’s manifesting in his fashion choices

Every time Levi is thinking about getting another tattoo, you always send him the absolute WORST tattoo designs

And you’re SO serious about it sometimes too

To the point that sometimes he’s actually like, “What the fuck? Why should I get a tattoo of a pillow?”

One time you actually sent him a Twilight quote and he almost considered getting it tattooed until you came clean lolol

So now you’re constantly asking him to watch Twilight and tell everyone that it’s his favorite movie and book saga

He hates his life every time it’s brought up lmfao

You bought him a Twilight shirt and compared it to the ridic band shirt he’s had since the mid-2000s

And constantly remind him of his two favorite things: The Cullens and Blink 182

You don’t really roast his taste in music but you love to remind him that he only bought the Blink 182 shirt back in 2006 because he thought it looked cool

And you always blast that one popular Blink 182 song when he least expects it and he hates it LOL

But honestly it’s all in good fun

You make sure to only roast him for fun and it’s never anything that would actually hit a nerve

He definitely does the same with you (like how he roasts the fuck out of your kitchen design inspos on Pinterest)

And the roasting that both of you enjoy the most?

When you band together and roast the absolute shit out of everyone else LMFAO

You’re definitely the couple that sits in the corner and makes fun of people

(Especially Erwin and those eyebrows, poor dude)

The couple that roasts together, stays together

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dreaming-of-assclass · 3 years

Text

AssClass Bedroom Headcanons: Part 2

Part 1 Here

Kataoka

Definitely has the neatest room.

Her room is very light-colored with a lot of white furniture because she loves how classy it looks.

Her floor has to be clear or else she’ll lose her mind.

Has pastel feminine bedspread and decor because she likes the frills and girly vibe.

Has lots of posters of her favorite swimmers and women she looks up to.

Even her books and school supplies on her desk are so organized.

Enjoys stepping onto her soft, warm fluffy rug in the mornings.

Okajima

Has a comfy bed but honestly, this boy lives on the mini couch seating instead.

Like 99% of the time, he’s crouching there doing homework or camera stuff. Or also flipping through magazines.

Has a big window with nice curtains so he can control the lighting for picture-taking purposes.

He has the most boring ass covers lmao, it’s like a thin sheet that he sleeps under. His female friends roast him all the time for it.

Has a couple bookshelves filled with textbooks and photography equipment!

There’s a couple of plants but they were gifts from Sugaya.

Overall the vibes are nice and cozy. Slightly hermit vibes but it’s all good.

Kayano

I’m sorry but this room is so gorgeous to me, I just had to give it to her.

So like she lives in an apartment as a 3-E student and she definitely would be able to afford a rlly nice one, with her money from acting.

The room has really lovely boho vibes, but it’s also rlly modern at the same time??

Has a very large window with a stunning view that she looks at often, in thought.

Keeps a couple books at her bedside, along with painkillers and manuscripts.

Tbh it’s somewhat neat because she can’t stand messiness. But it gets messy often because she has other things to focus on and she’s sad.

There’s a bunch of pudding wrappers all around on the floor.

Hayami

Her room is a little basic by these standards tbh, but it’s super comfortable.

It’s fairly spacious since she practices dancing in there sometimes.

Has a lot of windows because she likes natural sunlight. And at night, she keeps them open slightly to enjoy the sounds of the night, like crickets, cars passing by, etc

Owns so many adorable cat plushies that she keeps in her bed.

I’d say her room is pretty neat, but during her time in 3-E, I can see Hayami throwing things around more often. Like she has other things to think about.

Her furniture is all so aesthetic looking and pretty. Like the vibes are very pretty in the room overall.

Sugino

I’m so sorry y’all, but I feel like his bedroom would be plain af 😭

Like it’s Sugino lmao. I can’t see him really thinking about “aesthetic” or “decor” lol. BUT don’t fret, it’s still very charming in its own way!

It would be pretty small since in canon, his family lives in a certain type of public housing/apartments.

His bed frame would be the kind that’s very low to the ground. Which is nice so he can just flop onto there when he’s dead tired.

Has very thick black-out curtains to block any sunlight since the boy wants all the rest he can get.

Has a single desk for his PC and as a place to do schoolwork. Also where he can play some video games lol.

Would have a couple stuffed animals on his bed UwU.

Yoshida

I’m getting very suave vibes for his bedroom tbh. Like out of all the guys, he’s the best at decorating.

Given that his family isn’t very big, I wanna say he’d have a decently-spaced room.

There’s super cool lighting in the room with the lights he hung up, and his lamp. Like the ambience is just 👌

Has pictures of his family and friends framed and sitting on his dresser. It’s so sweet.

Also has a stuffed teddy bear that he got when he was kids and playing with Hara.

Tbh he’s barely in his room. He’s usually either with the class, squad, or working on his motorcycles.

Has many books on physics, mechanics engineering, etc in a single bookshelf in his room.

Kimura

Idk, my first thought was that he’d have a small-ish room that’s packed with lots of stuff.

I feel like Kimura is the type of gremlin who would lowkey hoard things lmao. Like it would sit in his drawer for 4 years before he decides what to do.

But yeah. I can see him with small shelves filled with various different things. One of them has some indoor workout equipment.

He has a desk that’s constantly cluttered, no matter how often he clears it. It also has his computer.

The only reason his room is ever clean is because his mother has cleaned it. As soon as the 3-E girls find this out, they absolutely give him a lesson on tidiness.

Has some stuffed animals that he bought to try impress Kurahashi but he ended up loving them for real lmao.

Ritsu

Ok so of course, Ritsu has probably made her own lil world and home digitally. But that means she’d also decorate/create her own bedroom!

I’m a big advocate for a Ritsu who always changes aesthetic but I think her bedroom is pretty easy to figure out.

First of all, it would be hella random lmao. Like the absolute weirdest items and decorations are just all around, on the floor, wall, etc lmaoooo.

THE BED HAS TO BE EXTREMELY COMFY WITH A CUTE SPREAD. This will be her main residing area when she binges K-Dramas and other shows she loves.

Also there’s a giant TV in the room lmao.

All of her books, games, and forms of entertainment are probably lying on the floor lolol.

Yeah it’s pretty messy. One of her classmates or teachers has to remind her to clean up.

#assclass #ansatsu kyoushitsu #assassination classsroom #post #headcanons #megu kataoka #taiga okajima #kaede kayano #rinka hayami #taisei yoshida #justice kimura #ritsu

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chickawah23 · 2 years

Note

I'm interested in seeing how Taylor handles the vault tracks for Speak Now TV and 1989 TV, if she follows the pattern she started with Fearless TV and continued with RED TV, I think that she'll have one vault song on them that absolutely roasts an ex to hell and back, and the rest will not be super click-baity.

Well, I think that at least the vault tracks outside the one that roasts an ex for Speak Now TV won't be super clickbaity, but I don't know about how Taylor will handle the 1989 TV vault tracks, I think it depends on certain factors and that if some of it's vault tracks are clickbaity, they won't be there just for the sake of being clickbaity, I guess?

If Karlie has ditched the hullabaloo by the time 1989 TV comes out, I could see at least one vault track being kinda loud, and by that virtue kinda clickbaity because, y'know, the whole Big Conversation™ thing and the hullabaloo being gone might be enough to make Taylor giddy enough to be like "F it, I'm celebrating!" and just put a song that's pretty Karlie/Kaylor-y as a vault track.

If Karlie hasn't ditched the hullabaloo by 1989 TV, I could kinda see Taylor putting a loud Kaylor sounding song as a vault track just to make Mr. Superior Thinkin' sweat out of spite, too, tbh. It'll be interesting to see how handling the rest of the vault tracks go. On a vaguely related point, I kinda hope that Taylor includes the Enchanted/Wildest Dreams mash-up as a vault track for 1989 TV because I think the imagery for its lyric video would melt people's brains due to it being the Fishbowl™ of Lover MV fame 🤭

I share some similar thoughts and wonders about the vault tracks for Speak Now (tv) and 1989 (tv) as you, anon. Speak now has so many great songs I don’t know which one she’s going to choose as a single. Would she do the title track lol and have another whole wedding thing. Or will she go back to the fearless tv style and do Long Live as a gift to fans. Then do a saucy but fun vault song and give Taylor Lautner some good press that he can have fun with (similar to how Joe Jonas and Sophie T had fun with Mr. Perfectly Fine). Or she goes for a vault track that comes with the Jake G/ATW 10 treatment for John Mayer and he uses it for some publicity. (Maybe even covers it on tiktok lol). Either way it’ll be fun.

As for 1989 tv vault tracks I really am like hoping she uses it as second opportunity to like work with Katy Perry to undo the Bad Blood narrative. Or maybe she alludes to it in a joking way with Katy’s blessing so that she gets some press. I think the internet would explode if she released a vault track that alluded to Harry Lolol. I’d probably crack up if she did. Harry seems like the type who would totally be down for that though. So there’s some potential for fun. I wonder what the actual single for that album will be though. Like with a music video. I wonder if she would just let wildest dreams live. Or would she give us a music video for like wonderland or New Romantics. Maybe even have Lena direct it. Maybe be chaotic and do a mv for you are in love Lolol. You know lean into the squad and the story.

And yesss that mash up is my dream addition for 1989 tv! It is so perfect and the visuals. Ugh be still my heart.

#anons #speak now (taylor’s version)#1989 tv #thoughts

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incorrect-ikevamp-quotes · 4 years

Note

pls scream about Leo a lil bit cause my love for that man is neverending and i live for you guys' blog,,, and ur comte love fuels me??? head empty except for those two pureblood clowns

HNGNGNG I hope that both you and everyone that reads my shenanigans knows how utterly understood I feel when I see anyone stan Comte, if not both of those idiot purebloods bc good lord...I live for two tired fossil men that just want DOMESTIC BLISS. Literally they have no brain cells beyond respect women and we love that for us, it’s spectacular!!

Under a cut bc I went off and is long:

That being said I’d be happy to yell abt Leo!! Where do I even begin, this man was the reason I got into Ikevamp in the first place, and I’ve read just about every single one of his events at this point. He just makes me so TENDER!!!!!! For whatever reason the first thing that came to mind was this one time he lies about being jealous and MC is lolol u a fool if you think I can’t tell when you lie to me. And he’s so fuckiNG SHOOK?????? It’s even funnier because she’s internally like [I’m not 100% sure but for a second there he almost looked mad...time to test this theory even if it’s just A GAME T H E O R Y] And he’s so fucking pikachu meme that shit sends me. I can’t handle the fact that he’s so used to people just assuming he’s fine, that he can handle himself. That he’s lived for so long without really anyone noticing at all. (Comte absolutely notices and will lightly roast him, but doesn’t really push him about it or wants to overstep). And so when MC just actively pays attention and is so gentle with him he’s just floored???

God I’m crying now, but I will just never forget the funeral scene in his fucking rt. This asshole, this absolute moron, straight up tries to come at us with “yOu GeT uSeD tO iT aFtEr HaLf A mIlLeNiUm, i’M nOt SaD”. Like are you serious. Come here and let me hold you before I throttle you. Absolute clown. He’s just always trying so hard to get by on his own and it breaks my heart. How long...how long has he lived just getting by, nursing his own wounds and dragging himself up all by himself. HE LEFT HOME AT LIKE 14 (whatever the fuCK SOME TOO YOUNG AGE) AND RAN STRAIGHT INTO THE HANDS OF PEOPLE THAT HATED HIM FOR HIS TALENT. HE REMEMBERS HIS MENTORS DESTROYING HIS UTENSILS WHILE TRYING TO ESCAPE PARENTS THAT WHOLEHEARTEDLY REJECTED ANY EXPRESSION OF LOVE OR COMPASSION FOR HUMANITY THAT HE CHERISHED SO DEEPLY. I DON’T NEED SLEEP I NEED TO HUG HIM IMMEDIATELY FUCKING HELL.

Like.........there’s just........I don’t know how to explain it, but I once saw it explained so well in a post. It was basically talking about Castlevania, and how in that show Dracula sees humanity’s folly and develops so much hatred he just goes straight to murder rage. And while in some ways I understand that, I understand even more deeply Trevor’s response to humanity’s fear and violence. He says that he knows they’re short-sighted, that maybe we all just don’t deserve saving...but that he’s going to do it anyway. Leonardo just so much gives me that energy of knowing there’s so much pain in the world, but all we can do is keep walking--keep trying, even if we have to claw our way forward. Because if you only see the awfulness in front of you, you forget the way that strangers make silly faces at babies to make them laugh on the train, how a friend will put everything down to race over to someone and comfort them with some ice cream--do anything they can to distract them from the hurt. How the sight of a child crying will prompt careful cooing from a stranger as to their bravery, an offering of cool water, the gentle placement of a bandaid. How a pair of teenagers will spot a lost child in milliseconds and help them seek out their parents protectively. There is so much wretchedness, but also so much beauty in it all, and the older I get the more I see myself wanting to believe in the latter. I want to be hopeful, and easily impressed, and full of love. To be bitter and jaded accomplishes nothing, and only becomes a worsening self-fulfilling prophecy. The more you seek negativity, the more you will find it; and worse, create it.

I also scream a little bit bc like. I’ve gone on and on about how Comte is very obviously in love with MC all the time, and sure that may be true. But...I really don’t think Leo is exempt from that either if I’m honest lmfao. Only because what does Leonardo do when it isn’t his route? He almost never shows up. Once in a while he might appear for a split second in a scene, but he almost never converses with MC beyond those short moments. While Comte is the one to pine openly, I’d wager Leo is the opposite. He pines in absolute silence, because he knows that if he gets any closer--he’s going to fall. He’s going to enjoy it too much, going to keep seeking out more before he can stop himself. And losing another person he loves...he just can’t do it anymore. In his first meeting story he talks about seeing MC’s eyes and feeling like he’d known them all his life, and even in his MS he speaks to just being completely fascinated by and enamored of her. She doesn’t hesitate, always does her best, meets people head-on and without much hesitation. After a lifetime of people that are probably just immediately interested in him for his talents, or always seeking out his company for the novelty, this is someone that doesn’t give a single fuck if he’s Leonardo da Vinci. Sure she’s aware, and sure she’s impressed to some extent, but her respect--her attraction and admiration--is something that has to be earned.

There’s something so refreshing about how their love was written. Sure it’s the whole fake marriage to a real relationship, but it’s also a kind of subtle enemies to lovers pulled off masterfully. MC is 100% minding her own business, just wants to do what she must in order to get home, tries to focus on her work to keep from thinking about how much she misses her old life. She doesn’t rely on anyone, doesn’t talk about how hard it is or how scary it is or how confusing. And even Leonardo forgets in his curiosity, is just chillin and also just trying to do the bare minimum to keep from getting too attached--figures he can admire her from a distance. And then he sees her staring at the hourglass. And suddenly, he can’t just watch her do that herself. Just wait for the hard times to pass, just sit with her own loneliness--that hollowing silence. There’s something so moving about it because he reaches out precisely because he knows that feeling to his fucking marrow, and literally just cannot watch somebody else do that to themselves. Sure he’s been dealing with it for three hundred years, BUT THIS GOOD BABIE CHILD DOES NOT DESERVE THIS. SHE WORKS HARD AND DESERVES NICE THINGS!!!!!!!! And so he drives her crazy as he races ahead of her, intercepting any attempt for her to preserve that silence and hide. She doesn’t see any pattern to it, and that’s just how he likes it--he doesn’t want her to worry about the how or why.

Like I fully remembering playing in Japanese and being like oh my fucking god this is hilarious, this man is just a wild fucker and I love this. I was enjoying myself, mostly laughing and shaking my head. But then it just gets so, so serious. I was having so much fun that I, like a fool, forgot the anime effect. If you’re having fun, it’s going to come crashing down without mercy soon enough. And it does. He helps a little girl without any hope play her violin again, and maybe I’m just too English major but I was fucking FLOORED when I realized I didn’t see that that was straight foreshadowing. That little girl without hope? That was MC (and by extension depending on how you play, us). Though the metaphor isn’t quite so easily mapped without a physical space, the connection is clear when you think about it. With his careful social awareness, he makes a place for MC to exist in the mansion so naturally--as though she was meant to be there from the start, crafts a positive impression of her presence with each of the residents. And he does it with zero expectation of anything in return; he’s just happy to see her not stressing herself out anymore or trying to do everything alone. MC doesn’t fall in love with him despite their differences, she falls in love with him because they are the same in a singular and all-encompassing way that matters; they both care about other people so deeply, to the point where they will forego any personal needs in order to make that person’s life easier. Whether it be muting their own hardship, or working to involve another person in a new space (or opening up to the point of self-destruction to keep a person from feeling alone), they go above and beyond what anybody asks of them--perhaps strong to the point of their own detriment, in some cases.

It’s why I always laugh when he says to Sebastian “That cara mia, she has a good heart.” Of course she does, Leonardo; it certainly takes one to know one.

And because I literally have no brain cells beyond being in fucking love with Leonardo THE LAKE SCENE IS AN AFFRONT TO MY DIGNITY AND SELF-CONTROL. HOW DARE YOU, SIGNORE. HOW DARE YOU ASK ME TO SIT THERE AND WATCH YOU OPEN YOUR HEART TO ME AND NOT BAWL MY EYES OUT AND TRY TO KISS YOU ALL AT THE SAME TIME. SIGNORE “hAhA yOu’Re So SmAlL yOu LoOk LiKe YoU’rE DrOwNiNg In My CoAt.” I WOULD DROWN AND DIE HAPPY--BITCH I TELL YOU THAT.

Like. I can’t think of another route I’ve ever done where I spent a good amount of time like “lmfao this guy is so wild im gonna punch him” to just be in a whirlpool of my own tears, regretting my entire fucking LIFE days later. Like Leonardo’s cultural impact???? Fucking immeasurable, I wish every white man disaster I ever met had a hidden heart of gold in all of his boyish dumbassery, an ICONIC himbo of our time.

Also because I remembered it before posting and I am Dying^TM. The event where MC was a pureblood and he was human. That entire fucking event. I literally can’t think about it without screaming and crying. Her just so flustered at his reaction to her like “oh look, free real estate” as he plops her in his lap, absolutely no fear, treating her like a princess because of her noble title despite NO NECESSITY BEYOND PLAYFULNESS BUT ALSO STILL MEANING IT IN AN EARNEST WAY, being charming to no END just to see her laugh or look away shyly.

WHEN HE SAID. WHEN HE SAID “...Can’t leave you alone, or you might go off someplace I can’t follow.” I. CONGRATULATIONS, YOU STRIPPED DEVOTION DOWN TO ITS BARE ESSENTIALS!!!!!! GAH HOW MC HERSELF SAYS “I would tell him the truth but...he’s much too generous for a human. I know he would offer his life without a moment’s hesitation.” How Leo describes the aftermath of her biting him: “Lucky for you, I’m a true gentleman, Unlike my principessa, who took me like a storm” HELLO??????? H E L L O ???????????????????????? ARE WE JUST GOING TO SLEEP ON THE FACT THAT HE LOST HIS ENTIRE SOUL WHEN SHE BIT HIM???? I--

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

(Also as much as I love him the cigarillos have got to go at some point, boy do you have any idea the shit secondhand smoke does good lordt)

#asks #ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp leonardo #ikevamp comte #can you feel me going through 800 different emotions in the course of writing this #fucking hell #he absolutely kills me i love him so much #would do ANYTHING for him #if you listen v closely you can hear the soft sound of me grabbing tissues #god i was just rewatching some of his events and i just #THE SHEER WARMTH OF HIS PRESENCE HOW IT WASHES OVER YOU WHILE READING #IM SHAKING AND CRYING I LOVE HIM SO MUCH #SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#like leo is just one of those routes where its like 'my life was before and after this moment'#otome is honestly destroying my standards OTL #he just makes me feel So Much my coherence disappears #brain cells???? don't know her only Leo tiddy #in conclusion: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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