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#I accept (positive) criticism
uncanny-tranny · 10 months
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Good news! You aren't required to make your hobbies and passions "marketable." In fact, your crafts, hobbies, and passions don't even need to be public if you so choose. You don't have to spend all of your energy becoming perfect if you aren't enjoying the process. You are not a product, you are a person, a creative, and your work also does not need to be a product.
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anti-terf-posts · 6 months
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hot take but plus size/fat people shouldn't have to sexualize themselves for you to be accepting of them.
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sergle · 10 months
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this might just be the pessimism talking but there are times when I feel the body positive movement is straight up Over. even stuff from now that’s meant to be body positive, or is packaged in that way, is of a lower caliber. like it feels like it’s gotten worse.
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hailsatanacab · 5 months
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I just don't understand people who feel the need to leave negative comments on fics?? You don't like the characterisation? You don't like the way things are going? You're not a fan??
That's fine! That's absolutely fine!! We all have different tastes, I get that!!
But why post a comment about it though??
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Why would you say this?????? What makes you think that's okay???????
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Barrett Wilbert Weed, I love you, but that one interview where you said Janis would think of Veronica as weak bothers me.
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ms-hells-bells · 2 years
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i'm actually stuck on my fury at the liberal response to the iran situation. how the fuck do liberal feminist women understand that despite in most countries a majority of women being against abortion on some level, legalising abortion is the right thing to do, and that hatred and revulsion comes from the socialisation of patriarchy and religion, not of open minded belief, but when it comes to issues that uniquely affect women of colour in other cultures, then it's suddenly 'oh oh, but if the women want this, then it's their choice and we must not question it or look into it further, end of story!'? do you think their brains work differently? do you think that they more naturally lean towards religion and subservience?
it's a rhetorical question, i know it's a pendulum overswing of white guilt combined with identity politics leading to a culture of fear and faux 'open mindedness' when it comes to anything that involves other marginalised groups, but the answer isn't to throw women of colour under the bus in order to appear enlightened and politically pure. these people have lost the ability (or never learned in the first place) to look at situations and issues case by case and look at evidence and philosophy of morals and political positions, and come to their own conclusions that they feel best represents their feelings, rather than try to find a blanket yes or no, black or white, all encompassing view, a perfect clique to agree 100% on everything with, so that they never have to spend time and effort thinking about things on their own, someone is always there to tell them what is 'good' to think. they hear the catchphrases and mantras of those who have deemed themselves universal authorities, and mindlessly repeat those, and then they never actually have to be unpopular, divert from what's mainstream and acceptable within their little groups, because praise from the 'authorities' and validation from others is what the crave above all else.
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ssaalexblake · 6 months
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the life of a 13 era dw fan who doesn't like doing negative fandom things, as in, spending my time going on about what i dislike about it and would rather discuss positive or neural things about it, and how this genuinely Genuinely bothers some people lol
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sensesdialed · 11 months
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the way some people will just go out of their way to misconstrue m.cu peter is like. can we get a new bit maybe
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mariemariemaria · 2 months
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the people who think that christianity is the worst most problematic religion ever and the people who think that islam is the worst most problematic religion ever are two sides of the same coin to me
#mind blank no original thoughts no nuance#not actually caring about women and other people who are negatively effected by the religion.#if you don't care about all women who are oppressed by religion then you don't care about any women#like the ppl on here who criticise xianity all the time for being sexist or homophobic#but then refuse to do that for any other religion?? ok so u dont actually care about women and gay people beyond ur culturally xian bubble��#meanwhile they refuse to recognise that xians are oppressed in many parts of the world alongside other religious groups like muslims#just completely western centric#this isn't to deny that christianity is oppressive like ofc there's valid criticisms of it#personally i think the catholic church should be dismantled lol#but it is not uniquely oppressive and to pretend it is is to position victims of religious oppression in a hierarchy#with xians at the top while ignoring other victims and refusing to build up solidarity with them#and u could say that this is an online problem but it's not. its so pervasive in the actual world bc ppl are either focused on their own#experiences (which is understandable to an extent but still pls look at the world around u lol) or they are so focused on defeating bigotry#that they ignore any and all criticisms of another religion. which also is not helpful and actually damages their cause#not to mention the people who are actively harmed by forms of that religion everyday#this doesn't just apply to these two religions obviously but unfortunately this dominates western social cultural debate#like i think you could definitely make parallels here with irish history and politics and how the liberalisation of both the north and the#south is a key part of the peace process. northern protestants became more at ease & trusting of the roi when it started to liberalise and#develop out of essentially being a catholic theocracy. northern catholics were more accepting of the existence of ni when protestant#domination and the protestant churches/o.o. could no longer decide government actions#a united ireland is more likely now because the republic has (largely) thrown off the shackles of the catholic church#like in the late 20th century northern protestants were generally fearful of the republic and considering divorce wasnt legal there until#the 90s it was with good reason. it wasnt all in their heads lol#idk i just think there's similarities there#posting this against my better judgement. please engage in good faith if you engage at all lol
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zibanejad · 11 months
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commit voter fraud today
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fideidefenswhore · 2 years
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almost no one that admires jane seymour ever has an actual answer as to why, atp it’s almost...funny?
#scrolling instagram...bored.#'i like her BECAUSE we know so little about her' yeah that's not an actual reason...?#and is as point of fact actually rather damning#you 'like' her because you can project whatever motivations/traits etc you want onto her depending on what hill you're dying on#of the moment...? like ok?#'she was a bad bitch controlling the situation and you're just jealous' vs 'how dare you say there is anything morally ambiguous about#being the successor of a murdered woman she was a HELPLESS VICTIM and DIDN'T HAVE A CHOICE '#or. ' i like her BECAUSE she was ineffectual ' ummm. alright?#if women effectively wielding power makes you uncomfortable and them failing at it makes them acceptable to you then that. is . also weird#addition: i read a book about her recently i actually liked#my major criticism of it would be why it began may 20 1536 tho...#it's first POV so it deals with her guilt in the months preceding anne's death#but because that part is absent we can't really feel the weight of the guilt as the reader#the narrative posits that it was encouraged by her brothers and they told her that the king would arrange a beneficial marriage for her#if she 'played along' but absent of it is her encouragement of the idea his own marriage was invalid etc#which granted is someting AB credibly had to have engaged in as well#but my major issue with most novels centered on jane is that the narrative never handles/ acknowledges#that...#explicitly nor even tacitly#that her likely disdian for her predecessor was essentially hypocrisy#there is a disingenousness is not acknowledging. the implicit disingenous nature of jane seymour#even if it was insofar as mainly deceiving herself#(tbf. the author did deal with that rather skillfully in other respects. just not this one)
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gettothestabbing · 1 year
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My sister keeps telling me that I should make more personal posts here and vent and be more open. Not a bad idea, on its face. But she also reads my Tumblr. She’s the only person I know IRL that reads it and knows it’s mine. So I could vent on here about pretty much everything . . . unless it pertains to her, in which case she will message me and tell me to change what I wrote about her. Even though NONE of you know who she is.
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boyczar · 3 months
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The phrase “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all” has done irreparable damage to the human race. We have not learned how to acceptably criticize others and we have not learned how to gracefully accept it from others. It reeks of codependency. We need to make maximal effort to undo the damage that may have been inflicted upon us in childhood. If we equate a criticism of our BEHAVIOR as an attack on OURSELVES, then we have some work to do. If this notion that we are separate from our actions makes you uncomfortable, you need to do some reflecting, and that’s not me “coming for you”! We also need to stop just throwing around criticism when we are heated or feeling resentful. Criticism is a tool that we all NEED. Desperately. In order to change for the better. But we need to know how to wield it. If you have a genuine criticism of someone’s choices (someone you care about) learn how to tell them calmly, so that they might be able to take your concern to heart and use it for the better. The goal should never be to cause pain. Learn this before it’s too late.
#being afraid to voice criticism in a healthy manner has cost me a lot#too much or too little#you sacrifice your own well being or someone else’s every time you don’t voice a criticism you have#judgment is not a bad thing. it is IMPOSSIBLE to rid yourself of judgment.#that is where we gather positive discernment from!#but learning how to voice it in a way that someone can digest is vital to yourself AND to them#enabling people is the worst thing you can do for everyone’s mental and emotional well-being#learning how to accept the critiques that those who love you have for you is an imperative skill if you want to be authentic in this life#but this is a two way street#if you learn how to be graceful when giving out criticism and it backfires bc that person is too emotionally immature to take it#then that is proof that they still have work ahead of them#and if you get criticized from a place of love and you still blow up or disregard what someone has to say to you#then that is a sign that you still have some work to do#life is complex but we make it simpler when we trust that those we love have their best intentions for us#mine#especially important for neurodivergent people to learn how to give & take it appropriately & not internalize it NEGATIVELY#i say this as a neurodivergent person#we often have a lot of maladaptive coping skills that helped us survive our disfunctional homes#and that’s okay bc we did the best we could with what we had as children#but it is time to treat ourselves and others with love and respect and leave behind the traits that hinder us#such as the inability to accept or give out criticism
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aashi-heartfilia · 5 months
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The hypocrisy of Jinshi and MaoMao
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*light novel spoilers*
I just love how hypocritical MaoMao's nature is. She yells at Jinshi for being a 'Masochist' and yet we see that she's no different. Now, by definition Masochist is a person who drives sexual gratification from their own pain and humiliation, plus it relates to Jinshi's tendency to do self harm (like burning his skin with a brand)
And what is MaoMao's most favourite thing in this world?
POISON
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She literally takes pleasure in consuming it and no one can convince me otherwise. Plus she uses dangerous plants and animals and snakes whatnot in the name of her so-called experiments. Her dad may call her a 'mad Scientist' but that is a direct indication of self harm.
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And she calls Jinshi a Masochist.
I mean, think about it! The amount of anxiety she gives to Jinshi! She came prepared with a vomit inducing medicine but even she had no idea whether it would work or not. She was just hoping it would work in the salt chapter.
And the same goes for her hand, on which she has conducted countless experiments. One flower even burned her skin and its marks never left her skin. She said it was all for her hobby. What kind of weird hobby is that? Maybe, our little adorable mad scientist is just like that.
One brands his own skin, while the other takes heavenly pleasure in consuming poison.
So my point is, Jinshi and MaoMao are not that different as one might think they are and that's why their dynamic works so well.
Let's look at the excerpts from volume 5:
She didn’t know how long they sat that way. All she knew was that Jinshi was looking down at her with a faintly triumphant expression, as if he saw that the breath had reached every corner of her body now. He wiped away the tears that had sprung to her eyes as she struggled to breathe. It was then that Maomao felt a flash of intense anger. “I said that if you were going to kill me, you should do it with poison,” she told him. “I refuse to let you poison yourself,” Jinshi said, his fingers tracing her lips. “You can’t pretend you didn’t know that you were one of the candidates. As much as I’m sure you’d like to.” He wasn’t done, either: “Who was that man, anyway? I’m sure you’re not a dancer.” So he had been watching them! “I was just paying for my drink,” Maomao said. “It didn’t cost much.” She tried to look away, but with his hand on her head, she really couldn’t.
Jinshi just choked her and yet he refuses to let MaoMao poison herself. A lot of people misinterpret this scene, and don't like it all that much, saying it was just fanservice stuff but this is how I see it: Jinshi wasn't trying to kill MaoMao, he was just trying to make MaoMao submit to him for once (even if the way he did it was very wrong, but guess he's kinky like that). MaoMao is actively trying to harm herself and Jinshi loves MaoMao a lot, he cannot just let her kill herself.
It was more about him trying to exert his dominance in their weirdish - complicated relationship and that also backfires on him as we see in the next volume that MaoMao escapes Jinshi's grasps using Pairin's techniques.
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And then they both continue to avoid each other in the entire next volume! Because they both realised that they have crossed boundaries.
They both are hypocrites.
And they both refuse to accept their feelings.
In one of the later volumes, she gives Jinshi a piece of her mind on how he should tell her everything clearly, unequivocally, what he feels, and he literally declares that "he will make her his wife", which is nice and all but look at the wording MaoMao used here....
Excerpts from LN Vol 7, chapter 19 called "A man and a woman play the game"
"You’re forever telling me I need to use my words, Master Jinshi, but are you in any position to criticize? Everything you say to me, everything you do, it’s like it’s calculated to save you from ever having to actually say what you mean! To make me figure it all out! You know, you remind me of someone. You act exactly like a man who used to come by our brothel all the time. He was in love with one of the girls, but he would never just come out and say it. He thought it should be obvious from the way he acted. He was so sure he had a good thing going with this woman that he never sent her so much as a letter. I remember how forlorn he looked when someone else swooped in and snatched her away! He kept coming to the brothel after that—to get drunk and whine to the ladies. Well, in my opinion, he could have avoided all that heartbreak if he’d told the woman how he felt. Clearly, unequivocally, so that she knew where they stood. It was the least he could have done!”
Everything came out in a torrent. She felt like she’d said it all in one breath. It was strange, she thought, to hear so many words come out of her own mouth. She was mystified. Jinshi was no less startled, but the shock soon left his face, replaced by something else. He got up off the bed and stared down at Maomao.
Shit. Now I’ve done it. She’d given him a piece of her mind, and he was about to give her one back.
“So I should be clear, should I? Unequivocal? I should say what I mean? If I did, would you actually listen to me? Is that what you’re telling me? I’m going to hold you to that! Right this minute. I’ll say it all. Don’t plug your ears—listen to me!” He grabbed her hands as she was in the process of trying to put her fingers in her ears. He took a breath. He was looking at Maomao, but somehow he seemed almost embarrassed. Finally he managed, “Now listen to me, y—I mean, Maomao! Listen close! I am going to make you my wife!”
It's one heck of a chapter and I suggest you give it a go! The title of the chapter says "A man and a woman play the game" as if to emphasize the very fact that both Jinshi and MaoMao are playing the game.
Jinshi has never confessed his true feelings before this chapter and only implied that he wanted to make MaoMao his wife.
The implications were heavy though on Jinshi's part, and as smart as MaoMao is, anyone would have guessed that MaoMao was one of the candidates for Jinshi's consort. Even the clothes she received (the ones she wore to the banquet) were also provided by Jinshi along with the hairpin. It is never stated outright but seeing as the hairpin was from Jinshi, the clothes are also implied to be the same.
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More or less she's always deliberately ignoring the possibility of having anything to do with him, that is more than professional. Some may call it denial, I call it dense. Maybe, to some extent, she herself is not aware of her feelings because she never lets herself feel anything.
Even Suiren pointed it out pretty early in the manga, that maybe it's MaoMao's way of being reserved. We need to keep in mind that MaoMao is an unreliable narrator and it's more of what she does, rather than what she says that makes a difference.
Even in the chapter that I have quoted above, she had every reason to leave Jinshi, she wasn't working for him after all. But she stayed to make tea for him, even after the fact that she had a long day too. She was almost just as exhausted as Jinshi and yet she was there preparing medicinal tea, so that he could get a better sleep.
Maybe she herself is yet to realise just how deep her feelings run. Till vol 12 she seems to have accepted them, but she still is yet to acknowledge their depth. Maybe it's because of her childhood.
It's not a traumatic backstory but MaoMao had a sad childhood nonetheless....
She was raised by her grand uncle and her real father was eccentric, who scared her. Her mother must also appear to be kind of demonic to her, since she was desperate enough to cut MaoMao's Pinky finger and send it to Lahan. So it's safe to say that MaoMao never received proper parental affection. And adding to the fact that, a brothel is not exactly an ideal place for raising a child.... especially when the birth of MaoMao was the one thing that brought the brothel to its knees...even if being born wasn't her choice.
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Plus MaoMao stated it herself that when she was a baby, no one would come to sooth her until their work was finished, implying that even if MaoMao and her brothel sisters are close, they are not that close. A mother's love is different and she never received it. No one can love you more than your mother and MaoMao was deprived of that. She soon realised that no one was coming. Life is hard and she has no choice but to face it!
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So, she got interested in poison.
Maybe she doesn't love herself or her life as much as she says / pretends she does. She's always like "yeah, I would very much like my head to be with my body" and "if I stay low profile maybe I can survive here" etc but maybe deep down that's not the case. Maybe that's why she loves poison so much. The implications are crazy.
And to break MaoMao's shell, Jinshi has no choice but to be a bit more forceful at times? At least that's how I interpret that choking scene. Jinshi was angry at MaoMao because she deliberately suggested him to marry consort Rishu and danced with Rikuson.
Even if Jinshi never said it outright, he was giving hints the entire time.
But well the tables turned and MaoMao topped him instead, lol (vol 7) and later we even see that our little stray cat has accepted Jinshi and she's ready to be in a relationship with him (vol 12).
Plus she is intrigued by the process of birth (she wants to eat her baby's placenta, it's kind of uggghhh.... but anyways, that MaoMao we're talking about, she's just weird that way)
Maybe not after too long she'll realise that if she has to give birth, she can only have it with Jinshi and no one else.
~Sunshine
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