#I accidentally cut Stingers hair

[deadghosy]

🫧𓇼𓏲*ੈ✩‧₊˚🎐

JELLYFISH! READER X HAZBIN HOTEL

Prompt: A sea creature wants to bring light in hell. ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🪼⋆｡˚

𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚ you died while being an oceanographer. You studied the ocean for its plant and creatures. You drowned specifically while trying to push a jellyfish away from you. And honestly, you went to hell becoming a flowing beautiful jellyfish.

𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚Charlie welcomed you with opened arms, she liked how beautiful you are. The way you flow in the air, you were eye catching and majestic

𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚jellyfish! reader is a Mitski, grimes, and tv girl fan of music. I think it fits their vibe at how peaceful but dangerous they are with their stingers.

𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚imagine how your human form would look. Jellyfish hair cut with the colors of the blue from your og form with some pink and purple. Or like blue and light blue. You would be an actual main attraction to the hotel.

𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚you probably did get mistaken to get sent to hell instead of Heaven. You were beautiful like a heaven angel, but you were in the depths of hell. Surprisingly the hotel was a safe haven for you.

𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚a beautiful creature like you gain the attention of many to the hotel. You could say that you are the main attraction. And Charlie doesn’t use you like that, but she does make you a resident to get into heaven.

𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚vaggie finds you calming. You have this type of aura around you that just makes people relax. So your hotel room is specially designed to your liking. Which is a dark blue wall with a glowing blue that has ocean waves. It’s basically jellyfish’s en ocean designed. It’s just so magical.

𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚you love floating around as keekee would follow you around. Then you would have the egg boiz following you plus fat nuggets. You just collected your own little band of little people.

𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚husk doesn’t know much about you in the hotel other than you are practically the princess/prince of the water in hotel. You make sure the water is okay as it’s your duty.

𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚you once had made water appear. You had guess you have water power based on you drowning. And using that power, you soaked husk who started to go crazy almost scratch angel dust in irritation. 

𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚Lucifer admires your colorful being. Like he may seem as if he doesn’t care about you. But he sorta does as he secretly makes you a jellyfish toy that lights up in the dark.

𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚alastor, he might as well try to see what you are. He still senses a human soul in which makes him want to get your soul. A human souls is rare than a disgusting sinner’s soul. But you sting him every time he tries to even get close.

𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚you once accidentally stung Alastor with your stingers. He oddly didn’t lash out at you, but rather just walked away. He was trying to hold on the stinging pain you gave him.

𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚sir Pentious found you alluring even. Frank and the rest of the egg boiz agree. Frank once called you mom/dad since you were singing him a lullaby.

𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚imagine how crazy you can be. Like one day you are the calming person every one loves and knows in the hotel. And next thing people know is that you are stinging people just because they breathed the wrong way around you.

𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚luckily you are a passive aggressive person sometimes. Or else you would be frying people like bacon. EXTRA CRISY‼️

𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚angel dust dead ass thinks you should have a cute blue ocean crown or necklace. Maybe even a cute blue with purple star car. Bro he’s thinking of so much ways to make you girly pop.

𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚you could’ve had shocked angels, and I mean literally cause if it was the battle between hell and heaven. You would win lmao. Cause what if you shocked then hoes into an angel kebab

𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚headcannon on how your stingers is as powerful like the jellyfishes in SpongeBob. You area full electric chair.

𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚vox had a whole board about who tf were you. Legit was giving crazy science man vibes cause how tf is a jellyfish in hell?! You don’t even look demon! You dead ass don’t fit the hell palette. As he is making theories, Valentino and Velvette just stare at each other like “wtf is this?”

𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚now say you did went to heaven. Everything would probably be different, but you are something no one had seen before. A jelly fish angel? Yeah that seems unique.

𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚Heaven would admire your original look. Your calming energy makes most of heaven better. Like say for example the angels complement each other with the light of your energy and how your energy flows. You basically have a pheromone, but it’s for positivity to be spread. #bethereasonsomeonesmiles LMAO

𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚Adam probably makes fun of how you are such a small sea thing creature. But then he switches up when you turn into your human form and start to sting his ass every time he tries to offend you. Fly like a butterfly, sting like a bee.

𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚sera would possibly have you as a cherub cause of your small jellyfish form. It only makes sense for you to be one as you are so adorable.

𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚Emily adores you. She knows you don’t mean any harm towards her with your stingers. She’s the type of person who makes you a flower crown cause she loves it be creative around people she likes. Honestly 10/10 friendship honestly.

𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚lute probably doesn’t care about you much. Other than your stingers are damn annoying. She just wants to rip them out, but you are is kind and sweet. So you have her vote to stay in heaven with her.

𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚headcannon on you just humming a soft lullaby as you swim in the air, your blue soft glow in the dark makes anyone go to sleep. The blue is pretty alluring.

A/N: I tried a different writing style with the “bullet points” I hope you guys like this lol and sorry if it seems lazy.✨ inspired by: @selvyyr <3

#jellyfish #jellyfish aesthetic #jellyfish x hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x jellyfish #hazbin hotel x jellyfish! reader #jellyfish! reader #hazbin hotel #hazbin headcanons #hazbin hotel adam x reader #hazbin vaggie #hazbin husk #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin hotel headcanon #hazbin hotel headcanons #hazbin vox #hazbin charlie #hazbin hotel x platonic!reader #hazbin hotel imagine #hazbin hotel lucifer x reader #hazbin hotel x child reader #hazbin hotel x male reader #hazbin hotel x female reader #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel x you #lute #hazbin hotel lute #adam x lute #hazbin lute #lute x reader #hazbin lucifer

[transingthoseformers]

Predacon!Optimus more concealable traits: antenna is actually frill like ears for heightened hearing, two prong taser type stinger hidden in the hammer shaped club end of his tail, pedes are prehensile raptor claws, two rows of back spikes that channel electricity and light as an alternate fuel source if in an Energon deficient area.

Predacon!Optimus is much worse with Predaking if he has Sparklings around. The latter accidentally stumbled on one of the nests that is for teaching the young Prime Predacons. Nest in particular being for gliding lessons and currently in use... Optimus viciously mauled Predaking into retreat as he's much more vicious if his Sparklings are in danger.

For the baby daddy, it was a Seeker not aligned with the Decepticons. The kids are much better fliers than pops so RIP Ratchet when they begin to try and fly. Prime's Sparkings absolutely dogpile 'Uncle Wrench' as they're quite cuddly.

*Would make the JetOp pairing chaotic as Ratchet will grab the bot responsible for this nonsense if he can. Jetfire is a certified monsterfucker and now has Sparklings to care for. Ratchet continues be a spikeblock.*

Cliffjumper is the fun uncle who encourages antics between the kids. Also designated babysitter as potential for Miko sneaking off is cut in half. Ratchet definitely drinks with Fowler and the two gossip about dumbass coworkers like old ladies at the hair salon.

Oh that sounds cool!

yeahhhh oh preddie you're gonna need to step back like. A lot. Yeah.

You know them being only half predacon has to have interesting results

rip Ratty indeed. Just. All of it. Many of the aus. Poor Ratchet.

Why did I immediately get the image of Ratchet just kinda grabbing the first person he thinks is to blame for Optimus's new condition and that person just ended up being Jetfire

Though I'm pretty sure the JetOp AU and Predacon!Oppy are entirely separate aus...

Cliffy being alive certainly shakes things up way so much

#oc #jetfire #tfp optimus prime #tfp cliffjumper #tfp predaking #tfp ratchet #tfp miko #tfp fowler #Predacon pax

[enderwoah]

ORIGINS SMP HEADCANONS (because i love them): SEASON TWO EDITION BAYBEEE

(this is really long ENJOY :gun:)

tommy

he is phil's son smile

phil's most recent son at least

he's got like one more somewhere

he picked this one up off the dangerous streets a few years ago and he's been sticking with phil ever since

his wings are small- not too small to fly, but they're untrained to the point where it would take a lot or work to get him off the ground

but at first, he didn't really seem to want to learn all that much?

(he has three scars on his face- all from trying to learn how to fly when he was younger)

(he gave up after the third one)

("if at first you don't succeed; try, try again" is his motto, and he tried all three times)

but!! phil and wilbur are very persuasive :) and now that he knows he can fly, he's not going to rest until he does

he's a little manipulative to get what he wants sometimes, but can you blame someone that lived on the street for so long?

he had to do that to survive! it's not his fault.

(it's a great excuse.)

he laughs like a kookaburra amen

he squawks when he gets scared

he chirps. he tries not to because it makes phil go absolutely bird-brained but he does sometimes and he hates it.

tubbo

NOW'S YOUR CHANCE TO BE A B[GUNSHOTS]

god he is. so fucking annoying (/rp)

he simply does not know when to stop

he ignores social cues to see when someone is annoyed

(see: he can read social cues. he does read social cues. when you get annoyed that's when he starts being more annoying, because you're more likely to give him what he wants to get him to shut the fuck up.)

he loves talking to (at) people, especially people he doesn't really know that well

so he's trying to be friends with ranboo, but the absolute prick keeps trying to avoid any actual conversations, so that's not working

he buzzes when he gets excited-happy

his fingertips are completely blackened and horrendously sharp, functioning as ten individual stingers

they don't do any actual damage but he's working on that

techno

wither hybrid (??)

how can you be a wither hybrid?? nobody got down and dirty with the wither

he's an experiment

the reason we haven't seen him yet? he's staying away from the main area of the smp

he doesn't want to ruin its natural beauty with his withering effect, so he keeps to himself on the outskirts of the smp

which sucks

withers get health from killing things

he's not fully a wither, so he gets energy from being around people and sort of draining their life force a little bit

he feels terrible when he's with just one person because they are Literally his life support and it makes the person feel like shit

when he's with a big group of people its great!! he only has to take a little bit from everyone and its barely noticable!!

but then there's the wither part. so he has to stay away.

he's always tired

always exhausted

he's a farmer, so taking it from animals works, but god does he miss people

but he can only visit a few times and for very short

(he's afraid that one of these days he'll get so bad that the next time he sees someone he'll accidentally kill them)

(it already happened once. he's blessed that he's been forgiven, even made friends with by the victims, but he doubts he'll be able to pull that off again with no consequences like last time)

wilbur

phantlings are dead elytrians, and given that wilbur was phil's son...he's a phantling

he died in the late 50s and was a librarian when he was alive, so he's very possessive (ha) over all of his things

you should never ask to "borrow" anything from him, he will hound you about it until you give it back

it's best to just say that you want something from him to keep

even if youre going to give it back

just for your own peace of mind

phantlings can feel fear and get a genuine feeling of elation from scaring people

of course, sometimes its unwelcome (feeling large amounts of fear from someone they care about in a bad way just makes them pissed)

but for the most part, wilbur loves appearing in the corner of people's visions just to jumpscare them a few minutes later

all in good fun, of course!! it's just hilarious :)

being the lighthearted, fun guy he is, he's not particularly secretive about his method of death

"how did i die? well, it all started -- ended -- on november 16th, 1958!"

"i walked out of the library late, since i took the shift for my wife since she was feeling sick and i worked there anyways,"

"the streets were dark and only lit up by gaslamps...and out of an alley...appeared..........."

techno.

he didn't mean it. wilbur isn't at all mad at him (anymore)

he was starving. he didn't know that one touch would be enough to fully revitalize him...

and murder wilbur where he stood.

sneeg

has details on everyone on the server

you Cannot Hide Shit From Sneeg

its impossible

if you find of his any shittly little mouse holes then you're doomed

you find one and there are twenty more

he's under your floorboards while you're having your important discussion about trapping the nether roof

sucks to suck ig??

he seems to be the favourite of many, which is weird since he rarely goes out of his way to actually talk to many people

he's the only person that tubbo doesn't actively try to annoy (or maybe he just doesn't find tubbo's antics all that annoying)

he's the only person that ranboo stays around (or maybe he stays around ranboo- he and Phil seem to be the only ones not off-put by his slightly sadistic and whiny demeanour (not counting tubbo, who annoys him anyways)

phil seems to be more protective of him than he thinks is normal (he lets sneeg ride on his shoulder while travelling, so he doesn't really complain)

niki is completely protective over him (again, not complaining)

contrary to popular believe, he does not get high from sugar

if anything he gets

high-per

(get it)

(high-per)

(hyper)

he's literally just a nine-year old getting a sugar rush leave him alone

phil

take the normal "bird-brain" headcanons and multiply it by like sixty-four

and you've got origins phil

he can't see glass- or, rather, he can, but it doesn't register that 'hey, this is a solid surface i am going to slam into'

its very funny for everyone else but he's pretty sure he has permanent brain damage from the blunt force trauma

if there is ANYONE on the server who dares to chirp, bird or no, they must understand that they are signing away their privacy and giving phil the right to go absolutely bonkers over them momma bird style

(shoutout to tommy, wilbur, ranboo, and fundy for having to suffer through this)

"oh??? you don't have wings?? you don't have feathers?? omg?? then what's this im preening?? what do you mean im just braiding your hair?? nono this is preening smile"

god help you if you dare to have wings

poor tommy, wilbur, sneeg, and tubbo

phil can't help himself alright

do you think he wants to be any sort of protective over sneegsnag?

no!! but he cant stop himself!! sneeg might damage his wings if he keeps flying those super long distances!!! nnnno! carry the bug man!!!

it's weird, he's always had that protective sense over ranboo, too

but ranboo very obviously doesn't have wings, so he doesn't get it...

ranboo

yes ur a peasant

yes ur poor

yes im cooler than u

what r u gonna do about it

the enderdragon's son! partially a dragon, partially enderman, partially human (don't ask, his other mom is a hybrid), all spoiled brat!

given that he has a ton of dragon genes, he's extremely possessive over his stuff and Yes He Does Do The Hoarding Thing

he has a pile of rings and gold chains and necklaces and most of his jewellery hidden underneath his bed

(if you ask him, no, he doesn't)

not to wear

just to Have

one time, fundy stole one (1) bracelet from the hoard and ranboo was sent into a panic for a good 24 hours

he wouldn't leave his cave and kept counting and recounting as if that'd make the missing piece reappear

(when fundy had to give it back because of the guilt, he expected to get his face bitten off)

(instead, he just watched as the prince was flooded with relief, telling him to get the hell out and nothing more)

it's weird, he has so much gold and even a crown, and yet here he is

living with all those people ^^^

truth be told, the enderdragon isn't a very nice dragon

nor is she a very kind queen

nor was the other queen

nor was her son

there was a mutiny in the end, leading to the dragon queen and her wife being killed brutally by the crowd of angered people

they went after their son next, who had ordered executions and worked servants to the bone just as much as they had

they cut off his wings in the middle of the square

he was sure he was going to die until a random person (a peasant) jumped up and yelled at them for publicly torturing a child

but ranboo didn't really catch all of it, given he was delirious from pain

he got to get some stuff quickly and escape with his life

this wasn't too long ago, either, so he's still trying to...adjust...to people talking rudely to him

(he's also trying to adjust to not having wings)

(hence why he hurls himself off the edges of cliffs and then has to teleport to the bottom instead of glide. he keeps forgetting.)

#this is so long #origins smp #originssmp #ranboo #tubbo #philza #philza minecrft #sneegsnag #wilbur soot #technoblade #tommyinnit #help this is so long

[tails89]

Uhhh, so I'm a day early... but I accidentally made words when I was supposed to be working....

@911summerfest

Characters: Evan Buckley, Christopher Diaz, Eddie Diaz.

766 words

Day 4: “It’s just a little bee sting.”

Chris lets out a shriek that almost stops Buck’s heart. One moment they’d been trying to escape the summer heat, pelting each other with the water pistols, the next minute Chris is clutching his hand to his chest screaming.

“Chris?” Buck drops the toy, racing to where the kid is sitting in the grass. “Chris, buddy, what’s wrong? What happened?”

A million different awful possibilities are running through his head along with the all consuming guilt that he’s failed. He was supposed to watch Chris, supposed to protect him, but something has gone terribly wrong.

“Hey. C'mon let me see it.” He reaches carefully, pulling Chris' hand towards him to survey the damage.

“Hurts,” Chris gasps between sobs, trying to tug his hand back.

“I know buddy. I know.” It’s only years of firefighting experience that keeps Buck’s hands steady. He spots the stinger embedded in Chris' palm and winces in sympathy. “Ouch. Bee stings hurt,” he tells Chris. “You’re being super brave though.” He’s pretty sure Chris isn’t allergic to anything but he also has no idea if he’s ever been stung before. “I’m just going to get this out okay.”

“No.”

“I know it hurts, but I’ll be quick. You won’t even feel it,” Buck promises. He scoots in closer to Chris, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. “You ready?”

Chris tucks his face into Buck’s chest and nods.

“Ow. Ow. Ow.”

Despite the panic coursing through him, Buck can’t help the small smile of fond amusement. He hadn’t even started yet and when he does scrape the stinger out of Chris’ skin, the boy doesn’t even notices.

“All done.” He stands, lifting Chris up to carry him into the house. “I’ll get you an icepack. It’ll help with the sting.”

He sits Chris on the kitchen table while he rummages through the freezer. The boy is still softly hiccupping, tears streaming down his cheeks.

Buck checks Chris’ hand, there’s no sign swelling and no indication of any allergic reaction. Buck lets out the breath he’s been holding since he first heard Chris scream and presses the icepack against his palm.

“Better?”

Chris nods mutely and lets Buck carry him out to the living room. He squished up against Buck’s side on the couch and Buck lets him, despite how hot and sticky it is.

With one hand he smooths down Chris' curls, reaching for his phone with the other.

“Hey, quick question?” Buck asks when Eddie picks up. He tucks the phone against his shoulder to free up both hands. “Chris isn’t allergic to bees is he?”

“No.” Buck can hear the concern edging into Eddie’s tone. “Why, what happened?”

“It’s nothing,” Buck reassures him. “Just a little bee sting. We were playing outside with those water pistols you got Chris for his birthday.”

“Is he okay?”

“Here buddy.” Buck hands the phone over to Chris. “I think your dad needs a little reassurance.”

“Daddy.” Chris, the little champion, takes a shaky breath and grips the phone. “I’m okay. Bucky fixed me.”

Buck watches him in awe. You’d never know he’d been sobbing just minutes ago.

“You don’t have to come home. Me ‘n Buck are okay now.” He pauses to listen, but Buck can only hear one side of the conversation. “Yeah Dad, love you too.”

Chris hands the phone back to him and Buck takes it with sweaty palms.

“Sounds like you’ve got it under control.”

“I think so?” Buck doesn’t mean for it to come out as a question, but he’s feeling so far out of his depth right now. “Look, Eddie, I-“

“You better not be about to apologise.”

“I—maybe?”

“Hey, it’s fine. Chris is okay. He’s got his Buck. Get him some icecream and he’ll have forgotten about it by the time I get home.”

“I—okay.” Buck sighs and runs a hand through his hair. His heart finally feels like it’s no longer trying to beat right out of his chest. “Thanks Eddie.”

“Why are you thanking me?” Buck can hear the amusement in Eddie’s voice. “You’re the one who had to deal with it.”

The shrill ring of the station bells echoes from the speaker.

“I gotta go. I’ll see you in a few hours. I’ll bring home takeout,” Eddie promises before disconnecting the call.

Buck stares down at the phone and then across at Chris who is looking back at him.

“Your dad says we don’t have to cut your arm off,” he jokes, earning a small smile from Chris. “I think this calls for icecream.”

#911summerfest #day 4 #evan buckley #christopher diaz #eddie diaz #911 fanfic #my911fanfic #domestic #just a little bee sting

[copperpieceharlot]

Bud I’m sorry to swing into your inbox uninvited like this but my soul is having an OOTS renaissance thanks to your content in the tag and did you say Leverage AU

haha holy SHIT this got Long. but yes. i’ve been. Thinking. (also literally Never feel like you have to apologize for sending me messages. i was Hoping someone would ask me about this. now i have an Excuse to share EVERYTHING ive written abt it :3)

Obviously, Roy is the leader/brains of the outfit. He grew up having some Strong Opinions abt what’s Legal versus what’s Right due to tragic backstory involving the death of his little brother which was definitely SOMEONE’S fault for negligence but since there technically wasn’t any illegal behavior, there were no consequences for it. Also he’s still angry at his dad bc he thinks his dad is also partly culpable (and also also just a dick). He’s the Moral Backbone of the team (alongside Durkon, more on that later) in basically the same way Nate was in og Leverage. He’s actually not the best at figuring out what people want (that’s Haley and, shockingly, occasionally Elan), but once he has that info, he is the absolute best at figuring out the ideal plan of attack to use in any given case.

Haley is still a thief. I mean she maps to Parker almost PERFECTLY. Her dad was a thief & a conman, her mom wasn’t but knew about it and mostly accepted it, but she died tragically in a mugging gone wrong or smth, which made Ian crank the paranoia WAY up and taught Haley to do the same in the name of “safety”. Let’s keep the “Ian is in Trouble and Haley needs money, Fast” which is why she signs on to the first job in the first place. She’s less acrobatic than Parker, tending towards finding (or making) weak spots in security, but she can still make a tumble check when she needs to.

Elan is the grifter who is somehow an Idiot but also not???? It baffles everyone. When he’s playing a part for a con, he’s FLAWLESS, but then the rest of the time he’s just. No Thoughts Head Empty. He probably gets lured in initially because he’s decided to try his hand at being part of a full team, rather than the two-man cons he’s been running that invariably end w his partner conning him as well and stealing half of his take. Also he likes the idea of being Crime Friends. He’s that tweet where it’s like, Roy: “after the heist is over, we split up and never communicate again” / Elan: [about to unveil his Crime Buddies Forever Friendship Quilt Puppets]: “never?”

Vaarsuvius is the hacker/gadget person. They have a Vaguely Snobby Yet Unidentifiable accent, dyed(?) purple hair (nobody has ever seen their roots) and nobody knows who they “really” are or where they came from, but they’re good at what they do so everyone just accepts the mystery. They probably got suckered into the team by their initial employer (who I’ll get to Eventually, lol) framing it as a challenge to their intellect, like, “oh, I see, you’re not smart enough to make this team work for you...” to which they were like Fucking Watch Me and also melted his computer. Anyways. They are joined (digitally) by their Intrepid Friend And Co-Conspirator (his words, not theirs), a fellow hacker known only as Blackwing, or, on certain forums, Blackwing_Bird. (In the first season, V only occasionally references him when saying they’re “calling in extra help” or smth for a particularly complex hack job. He starts showing up a little more in s2 and eventually by the start of s4 is a regular & established presence, but only appears as actions in a computer interface or output.) Elan is convinced he’s an AI, Belkar doesn’t think he actually exists, Haley pretends she doesn’t think he exists, and Durkon and Roy try not to think about it too hard, as long as B and V still get the job done.

Belkar is the hitter. He is on the team bc their initial employer got him out of jail for it. He doesn’t have a tragic backstory, he just likes doing violent crimes. As the series progresses, he grows some empathy & stuff, but really only for people who actually deserve it. Assholes still get decked. It’s all very touching. (Also he has dwarfism caused by achondroplasia. It doesn’t actually bother him and is useful in fights bc his opponents frequently have no fucking clue how to approach him, but he likes Pretending to take offense at stupid things just to see how far he can go with it.)

Aaaand last but not least, Durkon is the least involved member of the team. He’s actually a career criminal and Roy’s mentor, and wasn’t a member of the initial team that [redacted, I’ll tell you later, PROMISE] put together for a couple of reasons, the main one being that he’s Officially retired in order to spend more time with his family, which consists of his mom, his friend (not girlfriend) Hilgya, baby Kudzu, and a truly stunning number of aunts, uncles, and cousins. Roy frequently calls or visits him for advice and he Occasionally shows up to help out on local jobs, but generally he avoids doing crime if he can (as part of a deal with Hilgya, who is also a career criminal; basically, they’ve both cut back on the crime in order to provide a more stable home environment for Kudzu. But sometimes, you gotta do a little crime, and in those cases, Sigdi enjoys spending time w her grandson.)

NOW. THE BIG REVEAL YOU’VE BEEN WAITING FOR. Who got the team together in the first place?!

The answer: Lord Shojo (or whatever Normal Person Name you want to assign him). Now this is where it gets tricky: he had them do a thing that they thought was good, THEN they thought it was BAD, but then when they confronted him he revealed that it Appearing to be bad was actually a test of character and would they consider working as basically internal investigators for him? But then he had a heart attack, so, rip. But THEN it turned out that he’d left them a bunch of money anyway and they were all feeling kind of Inspired so they formed the Order of the Stick, LLC (which, no, i am not coming up with a new name, actually, because I just don’t care. someone else can come up w a justification for that name, tho, i’m sure it’s possible). Also Miko was there and was unhappy abt their actions, and also their general existence.

Moving on. Villains!

Redcloak is the Sterling replacement, because that DEEPLY amuses me.

Xykon is a season-long main villain, probably one that Redcloak finds himself working for but then “teams up with” (read: blackmails) the Order to bring him down bc even Redcloak finds Xykon distasteful. That’s season 3, let’s say.

Tarquin is another season villain, say season 2. Nale probably shows up pretty early in s1, actually, as another recurring antagonist like Sterling but uh. Less good at it. Anyways the s2 final 3 eps deal with them (accidentally) discovering that Tarquin runs some Evil Empire Company, then trying to outplay him and take him down. Idk if Nale still dies in this version tbh.

Tsukiko is a one-off s1 villain who returns briefly in s4 alongside Miko, who has gone well and truly off the rails.

Season 1 finale has to do w Roy finally getting Vengeance for his little brother.

The vampire squad is the s4 finale villain who do smth terrible to Durkon and then get the Mother Of All Revenge served up to them by the Order.

I envision the show as being 5 seasons (like og Leverage) but I’m not going to sketch out s5 because I think it should be based off whatever happens in the current story arc, possibly involving some legacy of the OotSquiggle.

Other stuff!

The Order of the Squiggle is a legendary criminal team from the 60s who stole a BUNCH of famous shit & then proceeded to legendarily implode. This has no bearing on the plot I’ve sketched out, I just think it’s fun.

The Sapphire Guard members should probably be reworked as FBI. I don’t care about most of them but I do think that Lien and O-Chul could be like, FBI agents who Choose to look the other way while the Order does their very-much-not-legal-but-still-fair Justice Crime, and maybe even help them out on occasion.

So, the Final season-by-season outline, based on everything I’ve written so far:

s1 e1: getting the team together, doing a con for Shojo, then at the end he dies and the gang is like “dang what now?" and intend to split up except then they Don’t.

mid-s1: Nale shows up and tries to trick the Order, but then gets beat like a drum.

late s1: Tsukiko is an underling of the Villain Of The Week, winds up in police custody. But She’ll Be Back.

s1 finale: Roy’s Vengeance: The Vengeaning. also we meet Redcloak as an antagonist.

s2 e1: the truth abt Haley’s father comes out

early s2: The Two Live Crews Job but it’s the Order vs the Linear Guild and the Linear Guild ARE all bad guys.

mid-s2: Redcloak returns. ugh.

late s2: the sapphire guard FBI makes its first appearance, hello O-Chul and Lien.

s2 pre-finale: once again they’re in conflict w Nale over smth, he spends the whole episodes making Cryptic Remarks, they basically beat him (like a drum!) but then the stinger at the end is that Tarquin reveals himself and Elan is like “Dad?!”, roll credits.

s2 finale, part 1: Elan is hanging out w Tarquin bc he’s DEEP in Denial, the Rest of the team tries to take Tarquin down, but it doesn’t work.

s2 finale, part 2: Elan finally gets a clue and they manage to beat Tarquin. still haven’t decided if Nale dies or not, but I’m leaning towards yes. also they rescue Haley’s dad.

s3 e1: fuck dude idk.

early s3: Redcloak shows up, AGAIN, everyone groans. he has blackmail on them, he wants them to take Xykon down.

mid s3: The Rashomon Job but it’s about stealing the Talisman of Dorukan and it turns out that Nale was there too (“oh!” Elan says. “I was wondering why I looked so weird in all those mirrors! But it wasn’t my reflection, it was Nale’s!” “Sweetie, that wasn’t Nale’s reflection,” says Haley. “Huh,” says Elan, “so the mirrors were broken?”, cue eye rolling from everyone else.), and the Successful thief was Hilgya, who’d nabbed it from the owner before it even went on display.

s3 finale: they beat Xykon, actually factually, because he deserves to get his ass Thoroughly kicked, even if only in AU form. Lien and O-Chul are there, so are some other less helpful FBI people. There’s a bit where O-Chul Exact Wordses his way out of telling his superiors about the Order’s less legal activities without technically lying. King shit.

s4 e1: doesn’t really matter. maybe smth to do w some legacy of Tarquin’s company to set up the drama w Malack & Durkon later.

early s4: Durkon gets SENT TO PRISON. Malack approaches the Order abt this because sure they have Different Ethics but they’re still Friends. (Roy is surprised and a little hurt that he’s never heard of Malack, but he ignores that in favor of Let’s Get Whatever Fuckers Did This To Our Friend.)

immediately after that: Miko and Tsukiko return as a Team, preventing the Order from working on the Durkon situation

mid s4: Redcloak makes another unexpected & unwelcome appearance but he’s maybe a little less of a dick? the Order collaborates with Malack & his Crime Buddies (hello, Vector Legion) to pull one over on him tho, because “less of a dick” does not mean “a pleasant or decent person”, and also he was mean abt Durkon being in jail, so he totally deserved it. he still gets whatever he wanted tho, just takes a blow to his pride. also prevents the Order from helping Durkon. they’re having a LOT of setbacks wonder why that could be, not to make sure the season fills its whole length or anything, no sirree

s4 finale: something something taking down the organization, headed by Hel (yes that’s her real name), which framed Durkon for their Big Crime. Durkon goes free and Extra Firmly retires, For Good, He Swears, but says he “met someone new” who might be an asset.

s5 e1: minrah joins the team! and the episode is set in like, somewhere really snowy. that’s all i got.

the rest of s5: don’t know, don’t care, it’s open-ended until the comic finishes up.

#mine #ask #corvidcorgi #order of the stick #oots #leverage #leverage au #oots au #au #outline #haha this thing clocks in at 1.9k words because i am LITERALLY incapable of shutting up #hope u enjoy it bc i spent Way Too Much Mental Effort mapping out how the OotS plotlines might play out in a leverage setting #and then promptly ignored Most of that in favor of making it funnier & dumber & more villain-of-the-week #(bc lbr the comic is Good but it's got an overarching plot form that the Leverage story style does Not jive with) #i'm not tagging all these characters lol

[evolutionsvoid]

No matter where you spot one of these creatures, it will be a sight that shall definitely catch your attention. A beast that lives in two worlds, both water and land. Depending on which element you find these creatures in, you will get rather different impressions! If you are canoeing down the winding, murky rivers of the tropics, a glimpse of a smooth muddy hide slipping through the water will get your heart racing! A crocodilian shape lurking in the cloudy waters that surround you immediately brings the worse to mind. A stealthy aquatic predator is circling your boat, certainly waiting to burst up from the depths and seize you in its terrible jaws! As it slithers past the surface again, you may notice its long, cruel claws. Powerful blades like those would certainly do a number on your boat! When you suddenly encounter one of these creatures out on the water, they can certainly give you a fright! If you happen to see one on land however, a different thought will race through your mind, like: "What is this goofball doing here?" Up on dry land, the true nature of this species is clearly revealed, and you can easily see that they are no river monster or ravenous beast from the deep. The Myrmecetus are just silly goofs that like to have fun and love to chow down on some tasty treats! When they were first discovered, the stories claim that the finders believed them to be amphibians. With smooth wet skin, webbed limbs and a love for water, you could see where one would slip up on first glance. Closer inspection, though, will reveal details that show what group this species truly belongs too. With special hairs on the end of its snout and teats on their underside, it becomes obvious that the Myrmecetus are actually mammals! Their strange appearance is because they are related to whales and dolphins, much like their similar cousins, the Sousuins! You can see the similarities in their smooth, hairless hide and the nostrils that have migrated upward into a blowhole. For this species, they have ditched the aquatic lifestyle for a more amphibious one, constantly switching between the water and land. As I mentioned before, the Myrmecetus live in the tropics, preferably where there are plenty of freshwater rivers. Their webbed limbs and paddle tail help them swim elegantly through the water, and their flexible bodies allow them to navigate through flooded forests! Unlike fully aquatic creatures, they are not forced to remain in deep water as they can slither through the shallows or clamber over barriers and tangles. Instead of flippers, they possess pudgy limbs that can be used for climbing over debris and walking across land. However, calling this "walking" fails to describe their humorous gait. It is more of a waddle, or the awkward shamble of a fat crocodile. This is because their limbs are rather short and the forelimbs possess some hefty claws on them. These blades are good weapons, but make walking a tad difficult. Though they are quick and graceful in the water, their prowess on the land is a bit lacking. Don't get me wrong, they can travel across the land, it just isn't the most dignified looking thing. With their mode of terrain travel a bit odd, one may wonder why these creatures visit the land. Surely they would be better off in the water, where they can swim about with ease! While that is true, the Myrmecetus still come to shore in search of food. It is on land that they find their preferred source of food, and plenty of it! With a hefty set of claws, one may think that they are powerful predators that rend prey and feast upon their innards, but that is not the case. The claws are indeed used for getting food, but in a different way! What they seek out on dry land is not fresh meat, but the telltale signs of an ant colony! They want big mounds that promise a hefty colony full of ants and larvae! When they find a good hive, they use these long powerful claws to rip them open. Once a decent hole is made, they stick in their long thin snouts and begin to feed. Hidden within this elongated maw is incredibly long tongue, which shoots in and out at blinding speeds. Covered in sticky saliva and tiny barbs, this tongue snags plenty of ants and larvae as it probes the many tunnels and chambers. The captured bugs are pulled back into the mouth whenever the tongue retreats, and the mouthful is ground up and swallowed. Obviously, the ants are not a fan of this and will go into attack mode. With sharp jaws and painful stingers, they can do quite a lot of damage to an unprepared foe. Fortunately, the Myrmecetus is well equipped to deal with these tiny soldiers. Like all members of its family, it possesses a layer of blubber beneath its skin. While others may use this to keep warm, the Mymecetus instead uses it as protective padding! This blubber serves as a barrier between the angry ants and its more sensitive tissues. It possesses a sparse amount of special nerves that are able to dilute the pain brought on by the jaws and stings. It also has pockets of special fluid that counteract the ants' venom, making it rather painless to them. Another protective feature can be found around their eyes. The muscle and skin around their eyes are a bit thicker than the usual eyelid, which allows them to retract and hide from any attacking insects. The blowhole up top can also seal itself shut, keeping out invaders! With all this, they can withstand the onslaught for a while, getting their fill before retreating from the angry colony. After feeding, they tend to seek out the nearest water source for a quick bath. Be it a river or a muddy hole, they will hop in and roll about in a comical fashion. This is meant to wash off any remaining ants that may still be clinging to their hide, to insure that they don't get stung when their guard is down. 

Though ants are the main staple of their diet, Myrmecetus can feed on other critters to help fill their bellies. When there is a lack of ants or when an opportunity rises, they may go after small crustaceans and fish that hide in holes and burrows. Probing the shoreline with the sensitive hairs on their snout, they seek out small holes that they can stick their noses or tongues into. They can either use their barbed tongue or the hooked teeth on the front of their snout to snag prey and pull them into the mouth. Seeking out food this way can be a bit risky, as some denizens of these burrows may have pinching claws or biting teeth! These weapons are avoided by striking fast or using their keen senses to identify the threat and avoid it entirely. Both of these skills come with age and experience, and some younger ones may learn this lesson the painful way. It is believed that some "attacks" by a Myrmecetus were actually just a juvenile thrashing about due to a pinched tongue. Myrmecetus spend a good chunk of their lives in the water, as it is where they are the most agile and the most protected. If attacked in the water, they can swim away and stuff themselves in hard to reach places. The roots in a flooded forest are a good hiding spot, and the juveniles tend to hide in those if danger arises. When they are on land, however, escape is not the easiest option. They can't run super fast and their awkward gait would make them easy to catch. So when they are threatened on dry ground, they tend to pick fight over flight. With long claws and a toothy beak, they will seek to defend themselves. Their threatening display consists of them standing upright with the help of their long tails. Their claws are held open and ready to strike while they let out a wet hiss. Dare to strike, and you may get some nasty cuts when they start swinging their arms. One unexpected tactic they may have when attacked is grabbing hold of their foe and targeting the face. They seek out orifices like nostrils or ears and then lash out with their tongues. This may sound like a gross maneuver, but remember that these tongues are barbed. Getting tiny cuts in your nasal cavity or ear canal is extremely uncomfortable, and that can be enough for a predator to let go and flee. It is certainly an odd defense choice, but if it works, then who am I to judge? Swim time for the Myrmecetus is also social time, as they are very playful and interactive creatures. When in the water, they tend to find others of their kind and form a social pod. They spend a lot of time chatting and playing, swimming wildly through the underwater maze of roots and rocks as they chase each other for fun. This social lifestyle can also be seen when strangers visit their waters. Travelers and boaters often catch glimpses of these creatures as they sneak up to the surface for a peek. This often scares newcomers to these lands, as the Myrmecetus shares a similar shape with crocodiles and other nasty beasts. Their quick speed and long claws can give a terrifying impression, but these creatures very rarely attack others. As I mentioned before, these few "attacks" can probably be attributed to a Myrmecetus getting scared or injured  and accidentally launching themselves onto a boat in a flurry of claws. If you are prepared for their inquisitive arrival and present yourself in a nonthreatening manner, then these little goofballs can be quite a show! When I was taken downriver on an expedition, I got to enjoy a visit from these creatures! They swam around our boats playfully, and some even popped up from the water to get a better look at us. We threw some bait their way and they grew rather fond of us! A couple even clambered onto the boats, some to get some sun and rest, and the others in search of more tasty treats! They were little rascals, but it was all in good fun! For locals, the Myrmecetus is a rather favored creature. Their playful nature and social ways make them quite endearing, and they don't really present any threat to folk. The worst they can do is scare off fish or get tangled in nets when one goes fishing, but many folk in the area have grown wise to this issue and plan their trips accordingly. Their nature has made them the subject of many myths and tales, with some painting these creatures as tricksters in legend. While they are rarely hunted, accidental catches or kills are often kept so that one may extract their blubber. This fatty layer possesses the fluids they use to counteract ant venom, and it can be pulped up to make a soothing salve that takes away burning pain. On a more nonlethal note, some folk have come to train the Myrmecetus to aid in fishing, navigation or even rescue. Their agility and smarts in the water make them quite reliable for scaring fish into nets or making their way through clogged water ways. In times when storms blow through or when rivers flood and wash away towns, these folk send out their friends to search for missing people or swept away boats. With their keen senses, they can zip through the river and locate those that are lost. They can use their bodies to keep overboard folk afloat or let out loud clicking calls to alert search parties. What a wonderful thing! Chlora Myron Dryad Natural Historian   ------------------------------------------------- River dolphins got a long thin snout, anteaters have a long thin snout, so that is why we are here. Not the most fascinating idea, but it was a fun one

#anteater #dolphin #cetacean #river dolphin #monster #creature #art #drawing

[mst3kproject]

I Was a Teenage Frankenstein

Have I somehow not already reviewed this? Shit, I better get on that.  If the title alone weren’t enough, I Was a Teenage Frankenstein has Gary Conway from The Viking Women and the Sea Serpent, Phyllis Coates from Invasion USA, and sure enough, Whit Bissell from I Was a Teenage Werewolf playing more or less the same mad scientist character. Though sadly, there was no part for Pepe the Latino-Transylvanian janitor.

Professor Frankenstein, yet another modern descendant of the fabled Baron, is looking for medical applications of his ancestor’s work.  He thinks he can bring dead tissue back to life, and allow it to be used in organ transplants.  Naturally Those Fools at the Academy tell him it’s impossible, so he’s determined to Show Them All.  Conveniently, shortly after this declaration a car full of drunk teenagers crashes just outside Frankenstein’s home.  He and his buddy Dr. Carlton sneak off with one of the corpses, and over the next few weeks they assemble bits and pieces into a boy.  Problems arise when Frankenstein, true to form, refuses to acknowledge the humanity of his creation.  The boy wants to see the world outside the lab, the Professor’s fiancée Margaret is getting curious about what goes on down there, and Carlton is having more and more qualms… there are many ways this can end, but none of them are happy.

We’ve got some awesome mad science going on here, with a lab full of blinky light machines and a secret stock-footage alligator pit that, yes, the mad doctor does get chucked into at the end.  Lots of severed body parts are thrown around, all of them enormously fake but pretty gruesome nevertheless.  The horrible, horrible monster mask falls into this same category.  My favourite moment in the film is when Frankenstein takes his creature out to pick out a new face, and comes back with a severed head in a birdcage! My second-favourite is the traumatized witness to the car accident wailing “what a crash!”  I’d be hard-put to choose between the two for a stinger. And at the end, the movie does the same thing as War of the Colossal Beast, suddenly switching from crisp black and white to shitty desaturated colour, and it has the same effect.

But none of that is what the movie is actually about.  If there’s one thing I want to say about this film, it is the truly astonishing fact that I Was a Teenage Frankenstein appears to have been written by somebody who actually read Mary Shelley’s book.  This is not a claim that can be made of many Frankenstein movies, and certainly not of any that previously appeared on this blog.  I’m not sure the writer of Frankenstein Island had even seen any of the movies.  Although I Was a Teenage Frankenstein borrows only the barest of bones from the book’s plot, the emotional center of both is the doctor’s relationship with his creation.

The reason it’s a teenage Frankenstein, by the way, is because the professor believes one of the reasons his ancestor failed at creature-creation is because he used old, worn-out parts.  By choosing bits from young men cut down in their prime, he feels the result will be healthier and more resilient both physically and mentally.  He seems to be right, too.  His creature is not a shuffling abomination, but an intelligent and articulate young man who longs to ‘go out among people’ and is absolutely crushed to find that the ones he meets are terrified of him.

The Professor is proud of the progress he makes in teaching his creation to do things like walk and speak, but he seems entirely uninterested in the boy’s happiness or personality.  When he sees his creature crying, he is pleased that the tear ducts work.  When Margaret expresses fear of the ‘monster’, Professor Frankenstein tells her to think of him as something ‘like a machine’, a creation of science.  Finding he needs to get his creature out of the country in a hurry, he has no qualms about taking the boy apart to ship and reanimate later.  He never even bothers to give his creation a name, addressing him simply as ‘my boy’ – never just ‘boy’, but always ‘my boy’.  The possessive is important here.

Indeed, as his creature gains humanity, Professor Frankenstein seems to lose his.  At the beginning of the movie, the Professor (who never has a first name, either – he is a scientist, not a human being) seems very much in love with Margaret. As events progress, he becomes colder and colder towards her, and eventually manipulates his creation into murdering her.  Shortly thereafter is a tense moment in which we worry that the same thing will happen to Dr. Carlton.

Don’t think Frankenstein started off as a good person, though.  Though he claims to love her, he slaps Margaret when she asks what he’s working on in the basement.  When he first describes the experiment he’s about to perform to Dr. Carlton, he says he’s using the ‘principle of selective breeding’, choosing the best parts to put together into a human body.  This will be a step towards ‘perfection in the human race’. That’s the sort of language that should worry just about anybody, especially when it’s coming from somebody with a German name.  Unfortunately, the movie shies away from actually exploring the issues of eugenics or racial purity that it seems to bring up here.  You can see why they might not want to go into that, but it’s a shame they left it hanging there.

With this for his upbringing, the creature is not a model of morality either.  He eventually escapes from the lab and goes outside to interact with human beings. The first person he sees is a girl sitting and brushing her hair – when she notices him, she screams, and he accidentally kills her as he tries to make her stop.  The incident clearly has a terrible effect on him, but this has far more to do with the way people reacted to his face than with the fate of the dead woman… the creature never seems to feel a moment’s guilt about the latter.  Perhaps this is because of the way Frankenstein raised him, or maybe it’s because, being a reanimated corpse himself, the boy does not think of death as a permanent fate.  Again, the question is not explored.

That’s the main problem with I Was a Teenage Frankenstein – it keeps suggesting things it doesn’t want to follow up on.  This becomes a particular problem at the ending, which is very unsatisfying.  Frankenstein sets about taking his creation apart for transport, the boy objects and kills him, and then commits suicide by electrocuting himself.  Throughout the movie, the only thing the creature has expressed a desire for is to interact with people who aren’t afraid of him.  Having just removed that stupid monster mask had his plastic surgery, he is on the cusp of being able to do so… but he never gets the chance.

Not only is this disappointing in itself, it also leaves another plot point unsettled.  In order to get a normal-looking face, Frankenstein and the creature killed and beheaded a young man named Bob, traumatizing Bob’s girlfriend Arlene in the process.  We see Arlene’s mother describe the incident to police officers, and offer them a photograph of Bob so they can identify him if they find him.  All these characters then simply vanish.  The next scene is Frankenstein telling Carlton that they’re going to take the creature apart for shipping, and then the movie ends.

What I wanted to see at this point was the creature going out and talking to people like he always wanted.  It would seem to be going awkwardly but not bad, but then he would run into Arlene, who identifies him as Bob and tries to spread the word that he’s still alive. This would make the creature feel that he has to kill her to keep her quiet, and ultimately bring the police to Frankenstein’s door.  Instead, the movie goes with an ending that feels like kind of a cop-out, like they ran out of time and just had to finish the story as quickly as possible.  We don’t even get a decent explanation of how he knew the two scientists were going to take him apart.

This is doubly disappointing because they could have had time.  There are early, talky scenes that could have been cut down a little in order to show us things we’d rather have seen.  The movie doesn’t drag much, but there are bits where it lingers on stuff we don’t need to see, like Margaret getting the key to the lab copied, or establishing that Frankenstein knows where the Lover’s Lane is.  Alternatively, since it wasn’t going to make a plot point out of Arlene, they could have cut that scene with her mother talking to the cops entirely… that would have made the ending feel less irrelevant.

In the end, I Was a Teenage Frankenstein reminds me a lot of another favourite bad Frankenstein movie of mine, Lady Frankenstein.  The two films share a lack of ambition.  Both have everything they need to be a much more interesting and thought-provoking take on the original material, but Lady Frankenstein chose to be about Rosalba Neri’s tits and I Was a Teenage Frankenstein tosses ideas around willy-nilly without ever giving any of them a chance to stick.

The weirdest thing about the movie is that it doesn’t even make any effort to appeal to teenagers!  You’d think a movie called I Was a Teenage Frankenstein would feature the title character interacting with teenagers, or trying to do ‘teenager’ things from the 50’s, like go to sock hops or race cars.  But no, besides the creature, all the major characters are adults.  The closest they come is by encouraging teenagers to identify with the boy as he chafes against parental restrictions.  I Was a Teenage Werewolf was about actual teenagers.  Why didn’t this film, obviously a partner to it, do the same?

#mst3k #reviews #episodes that never were #i was a teenage frankenstein #tw: suicide #50s

[tsuki-chibi]

Blackberries (Adrinette April) Day 29: Memories

Or see it on AO3: Blackberries 

---------

‘Wait. You’re serious?’ Chat thought, one eye on Ladybug and the other on Antielle.

Ladybug nodded even as she dodged another blast. ‘It’s the only thing that makes sense right now. I have the feeling we’re going to need both Lucky Charm and Cataclysm for this, but we need something to keep Antielle still. Another person using the Bee miraculous would be really helpful.’

‘I’m shocked that you’d even think about Chloé,’ Chat thought. ‘Not Alya?’

‘Alya is my friend, but Chloé already knows about us, the miraculous, even about a kwami. She has way more familiarity with this than Alya would, which means we won’t have to waste precious time explaining things to her. Plus, that way we don’t have to worry about Antielle escaping and going after Chloé because she’ll be here with us,’ Ladybug thought. There was some hesitancy and conflict in her emotions when it came to Alya, but Chat knew that now wasn’t the time to press.

Especially when Ladybug was pushing a memory at him then, one that only took mere seconds to flash in front of his eyes: the time that Marinette had transformed shortly before Miel and Tromper had spent some quality time at the Eiffel Tower, Pollen had told Marinette that she was at Marinette’s service. And Marinette had been a little conflicted over that, thinking that she was no queen bee…

‘But I know someone who would be,’ Ladybug thought.

‘And you want me to go,’ Chat thought back, not liking that.

‘You have to go, Chat. I can’t. Antielle is mad at me, not you. She wouldn’t let you distract her,’ Ladybug thought. ‘Just… go. Go fast. I’ll be fine.’

Chat didn’t like it. In fact, he hated it. But he could also see where Ladybug was coming from. They couldn’t risk leading an akuma, and by extension Hawkmoth, back to Master Fu. He gritted his teeth and turned, jumping off the roof. He could hear Antielle letting out a taunting laugh behind him and making a remark about traitorous cats, but he tried not to listen and ran.

Getting to Master Fu’s shop was a lot easier and faster by way of miraculous. He dropped down into the alley behind the shop and detransformed. For once, Plagg seemed to sense the grim, tense atmosphere and didn’t even whine about cheese as Adrien opened the back door and slipped inside, leaving them both in what appeared to be a kitchenette. Wayzz was sitting on the counter; he jumped at their sudden appearance.

“Uh… hello?” he said, clearly startled to see them.

“I need the Bee miraculous,” Adrien blurted out. “Where’s Master Fu?”

“Up front. Let me –” Wayzz flew over to a switch on the counter and flipped it up. “This is how I can let Master Fu know I need him. This switch turns a light on in the store,” he explained to Adrien.

“Thanks,” Adrien said, sneaking a quick glance at what Wayzz had been eating. It looked like anchovies. Suddenly Camembert didn’t seem so bad.

“Wayzz, what is – Adrien?” Master Fu cut himself off as he walked into the kitchen.

“Ladybug and I need the Bee miraculous. Please, Master Fu, it’s an emergency. Coccinelle got akumatized,” Adrien said, deciding that Master Fu didn’t need to know that they now knew who Coccinelle really was.

“Oh dear. I was afraid that would happen.” Master Fu sighed heavily and beckoned to Adrien, walking into the room with the low table and phonograph. Adrien hovered behind him as Master Fu opened the phonograph, revealing all the different compartments. For the first time, he noticed that four miraculous were missing. The Ladybug, the Black Cat and Butterfly were all gone, but there was also a fourth empty space.

“What goes there?” he asked, gesturing to the fourth space.

“The Peacock,” Master Fu said shortly, picking up the Bee miraculous. He hesitated before handing it over, but eventually gave it to Adrien, adding, “Whoever you choose, you must make that it’s someone you trust who is prepared to handle the responsibility that comes with a miraculous. Choose wisely. Such powers are meant to serve the greater good. They must never get into the wrong hands.”

‘Oh my god, the irony,’ Ladybug thought. She was playing a game of cat-and-mouse with Antielle, running around Paris.

‘Right?’ Adrien thought, trying to hide a smirk.

“Once the mission is over, you must retrieve the miraculous and bring it back to me. It’s too dangerous to allow any more miraculous to be in circulation for right now,” Master Fu concluded.

“Thank you,” Adrien said. “Come on, Plagg!”

He hurried back out through the kitchen and into the alley and transformed, then took to the roofs. He made his way back towards the bakery and dropped down onto Marinette’s balcony, relieved to see that – for once – Chloé had done as she was told and was sitting on the reclining chair. She jumped when he landed, her expression immediately changing to one of panic as she looked around.

“Did you win already? Where’s Antielle?” she said shrilly.

“We haven’t won yet. We need your help,” Chat said, opening his hand up.

Chloé stared at him. “What?”

“This is the Bee miraculous. It’ll give you the same powers that Marinette had when she transformed with it,” Chat said, because he knew damn well that Chloé paid just as much attention to their battles as Alya did. “If you do this, you have to be really careful, Chloé. You can’t tell anyone about it. You saw what happened when I accidentally let the cat out of the bag.” He couldn’t even smile at his pun.

“I remember,” Chloé said quietly, standing up.

“When the battle is over, you have to give the miraculous back,” Chat added, and saw her face twist. “I’m sorry. That’s the rule. It’s the guardian, not me.”

“Right. Someday I’d like to meet this guardian,” Chloé said, taking the Bee miraculous. She examined it for a moment before affixing it in her hair just to the right of her bangs. There was a flash of yellow light and Pollen appeared.

“Well!” Pollen said, her eyes wide, and then she grinned. “Greetings, my Queen!”

‘Ah, here we go,’ Ladybug thought. She was getting tired now, and Chat panicked.

“Chloé, we don’t have time for this. We have to hurry!”

“Right. What I do?” Chloé asked Pollen.

“To transform, you say, ‘buzz on’,” Pollen said promptly. “My power is that of subjection. You will be able to immobilize your opponent if you say ‘Venom’ and stab them with the tip of your stinger, but the power works much like Ladybug’s and Chat Noir’s. You only have five minutes from the moment you activate it to when you’ll detransform, so you only get one shot at it.”

“Venom, I like it,” Chloé said with a smirk. “Pollen, buzz on!”

The flash of yellow light was so bright that Chat had to close his eyes and throw an arm over his face to keep from being blinded. When he felt it was safe to look, he lowered his arm and found himself staring at another yellow, black-striped superhero. Her suit was a little different from Miel’s, unsurprisingly, but definitely recognizable as the Bee miraculous.

“Very cool. What’s your name?” Chat said.

“Queen Bee, of course,” she said, a sparkle in her eyes. Chat couldn’t help grinning.

“Of course. Well, come on, Queen Bee! We have to meet up with Ladybug. Antielle is proving to be the worst akuma we’ve faced yet.” His smile faded. “She has the powers of Ladybug but multiplied. She can summon several Lucky Charms without having to detransform.”

“That’s not good,” Queen Bee said. She reached for her hip and came up with the spinning top that Miel had used. Experimentally, she threw it out and watched as it wrapped around a point about a block away.

“Don’t go crazy,” Chat warned her, remembering how Ladybug’s yoyo and yanked her halfway across the city that first time, and jumped off the balcony. A blur of yellow shot past him and he shook his head. He had the feeling that Chloé was going to adjust to being a miraculous user very quickly.

‘Where are you?’ he thought to Ladybug.

‘I’ll circle back towards the school,’ Ladybug thought. ‘Let me just – ha!’ She successfully tripped Antielle over the side of a building into a dumpster and took off.

“The school!” he called out to Queen Bee. In the distance, he saw her nod and change directions. Chat did the same, landing on the rooftop mere seconds after Queen Bee and at the same time as Ladybug. She looked exhausted from her race around the city.

“She’s right behind me!” Ladybug said, rushing over to Chat and Queen Bee. “We have to think of something fast. Her temper is getting worse and she’s starting to not care who gets hit when she misses.”

“Starting?” Queen Bee said. “Did she ever care?”

Ladybug took a deep breath and let it out in a sigh. “Probably not, but that’s not the point. What do we do?”

#miraculous ladybug #marinette dupain-cheng #adrien agreste #chloe bourgeois #queen bee #ladybug #chat noir #chloe bourgeois redemption #for once chloe gets chosen for a miraculous #blackberries #soulmate au #adrinetteapril2020

[afterspark-podcast]

G1 Episode 27: Transcript

Episode Show Notes

[This can also be found on AO3!]

[Stinger]

O: And so the Autobots are like, “AHHHHHHHHHHH!”

[Intro Music]

O: Hello and welcome to the Afterspark Podcast, an episode by episode recap of the Generation 1 Transformers cartoon, I’m Owls!

S: And I'm Specs.

O: Today we're going to be talking about episode number 27, Microbots.  Let's talk about giant robots today, shall we?

S: Okay.

O: And now in South America!

S: White people doing white people things, as they do.

O: Digging up pottery. [laughs]

S: And we know they're white people because they're treating it like a game.

O: Also, the male archaeologist says how old an artifact is, immediately after digging it up.  Fuck carbon dating, real men can tell just by looking! [laughs]

S: The female scientist hits something strange while digging.  Something strange, in very fashionable Decepticon purple.

O: Ohh!

S: Come to think of it her hair is about the right kind of purple too, I'm surprised the Cons didn’t kidnap her as well.

O: [laughs]

S: Or won't.

O: [laughs] Surprise!  It's a spaceship.

S: These two archaeologists have unwittingly dug up the original Decepticon ship, the Nemesis.

O: Which you know, on a tangent, kind of got crashed there in Beast Wars.  Ahhhh! [laughs]

S: The Decepticons uh, catch this breaking news about this fascinating find.

O: But to the Ark!  Guys, guys, it's a Preceptor episode!  It is gonna be a good day, he is so cute.

S: He is, we're getting our good Preceptor, proper introduction.

O: Yes, and he deserves one, cuz he is a adorable.

S: Preceptor is attempting to fix a microchip that belongs to Ironhide, um, and he's hurried along by Brawn, who's being a dick.

O: VINDICATION!  Heh, Brawn is a jerk, even to his allies!

S: And we quote, “Real work is crushing Decepticons, not fussing with chips.”

O: Perceptor reminds Brawn that they fucking need him, and considering that the Cons try to blow up the planet every other week through some roundabout scientific nonsense- yes, having a scientist on staff is a good idea! [laughs]

S: Especially one who doesn't, you know, blow shit up all the time.

O: Yeah!  Wheeljack is a very specialized skill set. [laughs] Preceptor enlarges the microchip to repair it.

S: Chekhov's size changing ray, anyone?

O: Why, yes.  Bumblebee, being not a jackass, defends Perceptor as Brawn continues to be well, a jackass. [laughs]

S: I mean, I'd have to wonder how... basically, the team works?  But I guess Preceptor is one of the newer people who arrived, so I guess it makes sense that there'd be some tension.

O: Probably, but- but Brawn just seems like a jerk. [laughs]

S: He is, he is.  Optimus orders Bee, Brawn, and Ironhide to follow him as they head down to South America to stop the Decepticons from getting into their ship.  Cuz the Autobots have also caught the news- the news flash.

O: Obviously, now in South America, the Cons are blowing up lots and lots of trees.

S: It's what they do.

O: Starscream is attacked by an absolutely gigantic snake.

S: It's easily as big around as his arms, man.  It's super big!

O: Right!  And then we have Ravage frolicking with an actual jaguar.

S: And you know, his method of dealing with it involved shooting a missile at it before easily batting the jag- the jaguar away, and the jaguar’s just like-

O: “What the fuck?” [laughs]

S: “Screw this, I’m out of here!”

O: [laughs] Right?

S: And Starscream is, you know, able to shed the snake.

O: Puns- no, no!

S: Starscream had better be-leaf that Megatron has a plan.

O: No, no, this stops now!  Bonecrusher is just trundling along in the back moving some trees in vehicle mode and I just love it.  I think my personal headcanon is that the Constructicons are constantly doing their actual jobs while everyone is being morons, and I love it.

S: Considering how many, you know, bases of the week the Decepticons have, yes, they are pretty-

O: Presumably, they're actually pretty good at their job is what I'm gonna go with and I- I don't know I found thought that thought very, very funny. [laughs]

S: Yup, apparently they're doing all of this to try to avoid Autobot detection by staying on the ground.  So you know, they can avoid the Sky Spy detection or satellite detection or something.

O: Which makes sense, but eh… regardless, the Autobots have arrived in South America and that's not Ironhide, that’s really not Ironhide?

S: Well, Ratchet’s voice is coming out of his mouth, so we have to assume it's actually Ratchet and they didn’t just you know, miscolor him.

O: Again.  The Autobots follow the trail of destruction left by the Cons.

S: Why did Prime bring the medic and two short guys?

O: I think this isn't this is an established pattern at this point. [laughs]

S: Oh, honestly, yeah.

O: Meanwhile, back with the Cons, Scavenger is scanning the ground in vehicle mode while Megatron is walking next to him.  It just looks kind of weird, like you know they can turn into vehicle mode but I- I still kind of- like, oh right, Megatron is twice the height of a dump truck, right. [laughs] Like, you kind of forget when you don't have things around it you know, compare it to?

S: Yeah, well, I guess they needed their geologist, and considering the placement of Scavenger’s um, backhoe thing, which apparently his scanner is in in robot mode it makes more sense for him to do it in his alt mode.

O: Fair.  They arrive on the dig site, just as the archaeologists were going to try to get into the ship, which is now more unburied than in previous shots.

S: The humans, um, flee, you know, drive off after they encounter some threatening laser fire with- that you know, misses them of course.

O: Megatron says, “Cut it open!”

S: Can't you just find the door?

O: Specs, Specs, he forgot the password, it has been a several million years, hello? [laughs]

S: Couldn’t you just, you know, get your construction crew to take the door off the hinges or something?

O: [laughs]

S: I mean seriously, there are less destructive ways to get into this thing for whatever you want in it.

O: Oh, Spe-

S: What if you destroy the thing that you're going in there for?

O: Oh, Specs, Soundwave didn't plan this out, so therefore it’s nonsensical as hell. [laughs]

S: [sighs] God.  And oh look, they blasted into the part of the ship that had exactly what the fuck they wanted.

O: HOW CONVENIENT!

S: I'm surprised I didn't accidentally blow themselves up.

O: The show would be over then what would we do? [laughs]

S: Plot armor.

O: [laughs] Megatron survived a planet exploding, I think he would probably be fine.

S: Maybe not anyone else.

O: Yeah, fair.

S: Megatron wants to play doctor on the ship as he extracts this thing called the ‘Heart of Cybertron.’

O: Apparently, he just wanted to be a medic in every continuity, who knew?

S: Like, I think he borrows a laser scalpel from Hook or something.

O: Yeah, like, he- he doesn't even have like, the innate um-

S: Thingy.

O: -equipment to do it, is what's funny.  But he does it, he doesn't blow them up.  Which we establish later this thing is explosive.

S: Yeah, cuz apparently this this thing is an energy maximizer, whatever the fuck that means.

O: Yeah, I know, who knows. [laughs]

S: And then Megatron just hands it to Hook and says, “Put it inside me,” and then lays on the ground, where you know-

O: What the fuck?  What the fuck? [laughs]

S: It’s an impromptu surgery.

O: [continues laughing]

S: And then Hook just kind of shoves it in there, where his spark chamber would be, I guess?  In a later continuity but this is- this is the G1 cartoon, there's no sparks.

O: There's no continuity, but I will remind you we know sparks exist, retroactively by way of Beast Wars.  Sorry!  Heh, this will be the soapbox I die on, apparently? [laughs]

S: Megatron is super buff now, metaphorically speaking.

O: But then Optimus shows up, and orders [an] attack.  [Clears throat] But, uh, wait a minute, so you're telling me that Optimus, Ratchet, Bumblebee, and Brawn are just gonna take on Suped up Megs, Soundwave, Starscream, Ravage, Rumble, and at least some of the Constructicons, if not all six of them and/or possibly Devastator?

S: Optimus has completely confidence.

O: IN WHAT!?!

S: Ratchet being able to out medic the Constructicons, I don't know.

O: I don’t know how that solves Megatron shooting purple force lightning out of his fingertips!

S: Well, I guess Mega- I guess Optimus doesn't know how to deal with it either cuz he takes it straight to the- straight to the chest and he falls off a cliff.

O: [laughs] Of course!  And a quick commercial break and Cliffjumper manifests out of nowhere!

S: Well, see, now that they don't have to animate Optimus moving, they have more of a budget to deal with all these other pesky characters.  So just pretend they were there all along!

O: Well, speaking of pesky characters- Bluestreak and Ironhide are here now too.

S: And there's-

O: Did I mean Smokescreen?

S: Uh, I honestly don't remember.

O: [laughs] Now- that may have- I may have meant Smokescreen, because for some reason I keep getting the two mixed up when I'm taking notes.  So, I do apologize, uh, but two more characters show up is what we're getting at.

S: Yeah, then they're both immediately taken out by Megatron's force lightning because, of course.

O: Of course!

S: And then Brawn.

O: YES!  Pay for your sins Brawn, your sins of being a dick to Perceptor!

S: And then Ratchet is hit, and then Huffer shows up, before getting immediately unlucky and he's like, “I hope I'm lucky!”

O: And then he’s not.  He’s not.  But now, iguana.

B: [laugh]

S: [sighs] And with that uh, lovely lizardly intermission.

B: [laugh]

S: Smokescreen is trying to rouse Prime.

O: Prime is up, but Windcharger is down. [laughs]

S: Okay, so, um, so is the going rate for Optimi six Autobots or are they all going to go away now that Optimus is up?

O: [still laughing] Who knows?  But Optimus apparently knows about the Heart of Cybertron which is the thing that he- that was just shoved into Megs that I have to ask, “How?”

S: Apparently, they just didn't give a damn about finding it before now, or they thought it was maybe in the ocean, though I don't know why they wouldn't have been concerned about that considering…

O: Yeah, cuz they- again, we establish later it is explosive. [laughs]

S: Yes, and also that the Decepticons live in the ocean.

O: Right.  Now it is time for a Smokescreen to show us why his name is Smokescreen.

S: As he does.  Megatron angrily shoots in random directions while yelling, because he can't see through the smoke that Smokescreen....

O: Has smoked out.

S: Yes.

O: Optimus orders everyone to fire on Megatron.

S: And Hoist is here too.

O: They blast the hill, burying all the Cons under a rock slide.  Which no, Soundwave my poor blue son, and Rumble my poor blue garbage baby! [laughs]

S: We also got confirmation Grapple’s here too, as Optimus orders him, Hoist and Ratchet to get the wounded out of there.

O: Back at the Ark, Preceptor meets the wounded Autobots as they arrive at the entrance to the Ark.

S: God, that must have been some commute.

O: Yeah, from South America!  Presumably without Skyfire?

S: I guess?  I mean, maybe Skyfire just turns up, picks them up and drops them off, who the hell knows?

O: He was on vacation, and you know, they- they had to call him in, who knows?

S: Yeah.  And Brawn is continuing his modus operandi for this episode aka, jackassery.

O: Of course!  Wheeljack... was also in the earlier fight as he's now among the wounded, despite us never seeing him.

S: I think I can just assume apparently all the Autobots were there.

O: Right.

S: Getting their asses-

O: Most of them.

S: Getting there butts kicked.  I don’t know.  Uh, the Cons proceed to unbury themselves and then we’re back at the Ark.

O:  Wee! [laughs]

S: Preceptor is uh, also working on a wounded Powerglide.

O: Jesus!  I know we said it, but like, there were so many Bots in South America!  So many!

S: A good chunk of them.

O: Perceptor puts forth the suggestion that a group of Autobots should shrink themselves in enter Megatron to disconnect the Heart of Cybertron.

S: It's not exactly a bad plan, it's just if they had this before now we didn't they think to use it and they're never gonna-

O: Or some other, yeah… who the fuck knows?

S: And it's never gonna come up again.

O: But Optimus seems game!  Brawn is still very unhappy, but Optimus orders Bee and Brawn to accompany Perceptor into Megatron.

S: Preceptor’s so sassy about all this.

O: The sassiest of microscopes.  And I know Perceptor said they were going to be ‘microscopic,’ but I swear they're just toy sized.

S: I think you mean ‘fun sized’.

O: Well, obviously I mean fun sized. [laughs]

S: They’d fit quite nicely on your desk.

O: Wouldn’t they though?  Powerglide is tasked with getting them near enough to Megatron so they can infiltrate the Decepticon camp.  It is time for booze!

S: Or as a fanon and calls it ‘high-grade’.  AKA, robot booze.

O: Pretty much, so all the Decepticons get super drunk.

S: And everybody but Megs is passed out on the ground super stone cold drunk.

O: So what you're saying is, he can hold his booze then?

S: I think everyone else is just a really light drinker.

O: [laughs] Mm, mostly Seekers in all fairness.

S: And he passes out immediately afterwards, so no, I don’t think he can hold his booze better than anyone else.

O: [laughs]

S: I think he’s just got a better force of will.

O: [continues laughing] Powerglide makes the drop, and the tiny Autobots scramble out of their container and into Megatron.

S: Megatron wakes up and sees Powerglide and orders an attack.  But of course all the other Cons are stumbling around and not able to actually move.

O: Including poor Laserbeak, who nose dives into the ground.  Which is sad, but also hilarious.

S: And Megatron just decides that he's gonna deal with all this shit by himself and flies off.

O: [laughs]

S: Gonna be him against all what, two hundred Autobots?

O: Something like that, which maybe with the Heart of Cybertron he’ll be fine? [laughs]

S: Unless he goes boom, but I mean, I don’t think-

O: Boom baby!  Boom baby!

S: I don’t think he’s gonna go boom.

O: A planet went boom and he didn't care, why would he care if be exploded?

S: Well, if it's inside him it's going to be more of an issue than if it's outside him.  I don't think his armor has that sort of structural integrity.

O: I’m just imagining Megatron staying like, perfectly calm through sheer force the of will.

S: [sighs]

O: Or rage, one of those.

S: I don't think he's internal bits are as-

O: Probably not. [laughing]

S: -hardy as his outer bits, okay?

O: Ah, so, while he’s still-  while- he decides to take on all of the Autobots he is still pretty darn drunk, and I just want to know where's my footage of him flying straight into a radio tower or something?

S: [sighs] Meanwhile, inside Megatron, whatever passes for Cybertron white blood cells are trying to rid his body of the um, microorganisms that are being Bee, Brawn, and Perceptor.  Or-

O: Brawn- oops, sorry go ahead.

S: Or BBP.

O: [laughs] Brawn, being good at only one thing, which is you know, beating shit up- actually manages to destroy a few of them

S: He just tears them apart... with some oddly well animated movement.

O: Our motley crew continues on their micro excursion arriving at Megatron's shoulder joint.

S: And the- the naturally occurring gears, pulleys, and levers that the Marvel Comics say they evolved from.

O: Obviously. Cutting to Optimus, we are told Megatron's ten minutes out from the Autobot base.

S: Our tiny robots arrive at Megatron's brain module.

O: Why don't they just shoot it?

S: Apparently they just... I don't know, Preceptor and Bumblebee might have moral objections, but I'm not sure why Brawn just didn't do it.  It's a bad idea to shoot, you know, your pilot or the brain of the robot you're currently hitching a ride in.  You don't want…

O: [sighs] Fair.

S: You're gonna get kind of smooshed.

O: Splatted. [laughs]

S: Anyway, Brawn had the exact same idea.

O: Oh fuck no!

S: I guess he does have some good ideas sometimes but there, um- he's a jackass too.

O: [laughs]

S: Wheeljack tells Optimus, and by Optimus I mean us, that they have a force field up and it will only last five minutes under Megatron's attack so... are they limited by the amount of power that they have access to or just…I don’t know.

O: Um-mm, but we've got a 15 minute buffer, apparently.  I don't know why they keep giving us exact times.  Megatron arrives, and Optimus rallies all available Autobots to buy Perceptor more time.

S: [sighs] Bee and Perceptor pull Brawn back from Megatron's brain.  Perceptor also tells us that the Star of Cybertron is super explosive, so Megatron falling down will be super bad.

O: Right.  Megatron has started thinking, as brain impulses are starting to fly around his brain.

S: It's hilarious that Megatron just does a lot of stuff without thinking apparently.

O: Oh, I'm sorry, they’re evil impulses, that's important.

S: Yeah, I don't know how they pocess- oh god, do not evil impulses not show up like that?

O: [makes a bunch of confused noises and laughs] I dunno know.

S: Well, um, regardless uh, BBP hitch a ride on one of the impulses to the Heart of Cybertron cuz apparently that's how-

O: You get around a Megatron, mm-hmm.

S: Well apparently that’s how the Cybertronian nervous system works.

O: Apparently!  There's some really nice animation in this.  Is that why there were so few robots in some of the earlier scenes, you think? [laughs]

S: I guess they spent all their money on the special effects.

O: Perceptor advises caution when they arrive at the Heart of Cybertron otherwise they might set a bust the bomb.

S: You might set off the bomb, um, yeah, um, let's not do that.

O: Outside, Megatron gets through the Autobots forcefield.

S: As in, it shatters like literal glass.

O: Which seems to be a pattern with force fields in the show at this point.  Perceptor disconnects the last wires, the three of them grab the star, and book it out of Megatron's body.

S: Mass shifting all the way home.

O: Megatron’s face, when three Autobots climb out of his shoulder are- is pretty fucking great by the way. [laughs]

S: Bumblebee turns around and says, “Excuse us!”

O: Of course!  Megatron then calls them ‘retro rats’ and just flies off.

S: Oh no!  The star is to destabilizing, or the heart is destabilizing, or whatever the hell it is.

O: [laughs]

S: Because the heart destabilizing, Brawn heaves [it] into space with- I don't know, a massive swing of his short stubby arm or something.

O: [laughs] And Perceptor shoots it, once it’s two thousand miles away, causing Brawn to now be a convert to Perceptorism, as he calls Perceptor his friend.

S: Perceptor just looks happy about this.

O: Which, I mean, fair. [sighs] Uh, join us next time for, “The Master Builder.”

S: Or the Constructicons seduce Grapple and Hoist, with words.

O: [laughs]

S: Alright, so we have two fic recommendations, one from me and one from Owls.  The first one is, “Domestic Electronics,” by Bibliotecaria_D.  And it's an IDW G1 AU, very AU.

O: Very!

S: But it- it’s not rated.  Generally Gen, there aren’t really any pairings.  The main characters are an original human, and then there’s uh, the rest of the cast is effectively original humans or the IDW ensemble.

O: [chuckles]

S: [sighs] And in summary, “Once upon a job in retail, an average Joe took home a returned domestic electronic from the Transformers brand.  These are a glimpse into a normal life with tiny electro domestics running rampant through the apartment.”  Character or theme or rec is basically, it’s got a bunch of tiny robots.

O: [laughs]

S: The cartoon has a bunch of tiny robots.

O: Yes!

S: Or well, several tiny robots.  Just tiny robots.

O: [laughs]

S: At this point I think, “Domestic Electronics,” is complete and that's the note that we have on here because Bibliotecaria_D doesn't seem to be uh, active anymore.

O: But they have the fic marked as complete.  It seems like they were kind of periodically adding stuff to it even though?  But what's there is still really good, and I do recommend cuz it's very enjoyable to read.

S: Yep.

O: Alright, so my recommendation for today is, “Chronic,” by LittleMissSweetgrass.  The continuity is IDW, the rating is T, it is slash it is uh, the pairing is Cosmos/Soundwave.  Our characters are Cosmos, Soundwave, Rest-Q, Rumble, Frenzy, Laserbeak, and Buzzsaw.

And in summary, “Everyone had secrets.  This was just a fact of life, and ever since the war started secrets became something of a currency something to trade or exchange for more.  Secrets are what helped fuel the war and mechs had dedicated their whole lives just to find these hidden treasures.  Cosmos’ personal secrets weren't anything that would be considered interesting or sought-after since the war was over.  See, Cosmos was a mini bot.”

And then the type is one shot, but it is part of a series.  This is actually the second part of this- of uh, one I recommended earlier called, “Quiet.” It it's all part of the- the same series of Soundwave/Cosmos stuff.

S: I’ve read this one, it’s good, I liked it.

O: Ah, yeah, I like their stuff. [laughs]

S: And then I believe we also have art for you to recommend.

O: Yes, our recommendation for today is for Rikuta.  They seemed like they were primarily doing Prime.  They have a Tumblr, a Pixiv, and the Twitter, at least as of the last time I checked.  They have some really cute Prime artwork, in particular I like their Knockout, uh, Breakdown stuff.  Today we've linked some artwork of Knockout and Breakdown making flower crowns, a Cyclonus/Tailgate comic, and some Megatron/Optimus art which is- uh, I love all of it. [laughs] But uh, yeah, just, Cyclonus and Tailgate being Cyclonus and Tailgate. And uh, cute Knockout/Breakdown stuff, and uh, Optimus and Megatron from Prime.

S: I’ve seen their art, I liked it.

O: Yeah, I did too.

S: And that just about wraps it up for us today.  Remember to check us out on Tumblr and Pillowfort as the Afterspark-Podcast for any additional information, show notes, or links we may have mentioned.  You can also find us on Facebook and Twitter at AftersparkPod (all one word), and various other locations by searching for Afterspark Podcast, such as AO3, iTunes, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, and YouTube, just to name a few.  Till next time, I'm Specs.

O: And I’m Owls!

S: Toodles.

[Outro Music]

#transcript #afterspark podcast #afterspark #g1 episode 27

[catattemptsart]

Training NALU Oneshot

A year after Fairytail's biggest battle yet, the fight with Zeref and Acnologia, Lucy decides to improve her hand to hand combat skills. And who else can help her but none other than Natsu Dragneel?

‘Tis a bit steamy, fluff, and definitely needs editing 😂

Also I actually wrote this a year ago and accidentally deleted it off Tumblr so I’m reposting! I’m planning to get into writing again so thought might as well post it ❤️

-=-=+=-=-

“Gate of the Scorpion, I open thee! Scorpio!"

A blinding light arose before her as it shifts into the familiar shape of the arachnid celestial spirit. With a burst, the red cloth wrapped around the figure's waist flurried in the air and the man became visible. Instantly, he positioned himself for battle, the mechanical scorpion tail following after him.

"Star dress form, Scorpio!" Lucy yells after his summoning. A similar light binds around her curvy figure, as a red and black skin-tight suit replaces it. A chain coming from her backside ends with a curved, sharp point, replicating the stinger. With this suit her speed is enhanced and it also grants her the ability to blend and fly through the sandstorm freely.

She begins to run, then kicking off of the dry earth to fly through the sandy air. Her opponent is a Sand Elemental, able to control the grainy substance to its whim. And because of that it stopped the poor Smith family from growing their crops for the year.

Hovering through, she eyes the molded body, looking at its form. It was shaped as a woman with the texture of a sandcastle, but much more fearsome as it could recover with ease. Whenever Lucy attacked, the sand regained its form. It was as if she never touched it at all.

Lucy comes behind the entity as Scorpio distracts it, running around and never directly attacking. She whirls herself around with a foot extended, hitting the being in the head with her infamous Lucy Kick. The sand completely crumbles away but comes back just as fast. The gritty substance that dispersed swirled in the air before settling back to its original position, reforming the shape of the head.

The Sand Elemental begins to laugh distortedly as Lucy grunts to herself.

"You really think you can beat me?!" It whips around and the sandstorm begins to descend to the ground, instead coming together to pile around Lucy's feet. She tries to struggle her way out but does so to no avail.

"What? I should be able to move in Scorpio's form-" The sand reaches her neckline and begins to go beyond that. "Now, Scorpio!"

Scorpio points his stinger towards the Elemental. Instead of fighting fire with fire, he begins sucking in the sand towards the mechanical tail. It helped to disfigure the Elemental's form in order to find a weak point.

As the being became translucent, a glimmering, grey light was found at the knee. Lucy's eyes widen. She read in a book somewhere that the orb represents an Elemental's soul (alike their brain). The light is usually colourful, but when darkened, its spirit had become corrupted. It was the one mark of weakness in her opponent.

Realizing she had no way of making direct contact to the knee, she turns to Natsu as he sits on a rock with Happy. Lucy told him to stay out of her fight so she could get better in battle. But it seems like he was ready to blow up at any moment; his eyes are sharp while glaring at the Sand Elemental, a concentrated look masking his face.

"Natsu! Her knee!" She yelps as the sand begins to consume the edges of her lips.

"Got it!" A blur of pink and suddenly the temperature of the whole area begins to rapidly increase. "Fire dragons..." Lucy stares at Natsu as the red fire quickly builds, panic rising within herself. He was aiming directly at the Elemental, and her.

"Wait, wait! Natsu, you're going to hit me t-"

"-roar!" The flames burst out of his mouth and are centered towards the being's weak spot. Over the time Natsu left to train, he learnt to use his power in a less violent and explosive way. The fire seems to shoot out in a solid line and the Elemental freezes in fear. The attack hits the targeted orb with full force...but also goes beyond that.

"Wahhh!" Lucy screams as she is shot out of the sky. Happy, who had been happily watching the whole battle quietly, chuckles to himself.

"She looks like a flying fish."

Scorpio begins to chase after her, wanting to catch his contractor before she hits the ground.

"Why does this always happen to me?" Lucy asks with comical tears streaming out of her eyes, still flying in the air. Before Scorpio can reach her, Natsu seems to appear out of thin air and easily catches Lucy in his arms. She squeaks, noticing how gentle his hands are in holding her and how one was pretty close to her butt. Lucy flushes and squirms, jumping out of Natsu's hands.

"Thanks." She mutters, looking at Natsu from the corner of her eyes. He gives her his signature smile and throws an arm over her shoulder.

Scorpio looks smug before closing the gate on himself.

"No problem!" Natsu smiles. Lucy flushes in response, an irritating feeling burning somewhere deep inside her chest (as cheesy as that sounds). Both because of her changing feelings about her so called best friend, and the fight that she just battled.

She's not an idiot in realizing her feelings. Although admittedly, it did take a while for her to confirm what she felt towards Natsu. Ever since their final battle with Zeref and Acnologia, there had been so many close calls. Each time she thought Natsu might've died while not losing hope that he was still alive, a piece of her felt lost. She couldn't imagine a life without him and Happy. She could handle him leaving to train, but him leaving for good? That was a whole different story.

But of course, Natsu is as freaking dense as he is, so these feelings are going to be unrequited for quite awhile longer.

The other thing that bothered her was the fight. She told Natsu to stay out of it for the sake of improving her combat abilities, but she could never get by on brute force. Sure, she had brains that could help her out of any sticky situation, or the aid of her wonderful celestial spirits, but her strength alone left her vulnerable.

And that's what frustrates her the most.

Because she has come so far - years of training towards the final battle with Zeref and Acnologia. So letting her weakness stay as her weakness was not an option. Turning to Natsu, she contemplates asking him something she's been thinking of for a long time now. Lucy decides to just wing it. What's the worst that can happen anyway?

"Natsu?"

"Yah, Luce?" Even saying her name made her shiver, oddly enough. He only ever used that nickname every so often, but since the final battle with his brother and the dragon king, they both unconsciously grew closer. There hasn't been a day since then that he didn't call her Luce, or he hadn't slept in her bed. Now that she thinks about it, there hasn't been a day where they weren't by each other's side at all.

Levy started making fun of her, saying that their relationship was close to a married couple. Lucy spat back a couple remarks concerning Gajeel and that quickly shut the blue haired girl up.

"Could you teach me how to fight?" She asks straight up. Natsu looks at her blankly, before his signature smile spreads across his face.

"Sure! But why?”

Lucy shrugs, "I need to get better at hand to hand combat. At the moment it's my biggest weakness, and it always seems to get in the way of every fight I have." He frowns.

"But that's what I'm here for." Natsu mumbles quietly. His eyes suddenly widen, as if just realizing what he said. "I mean yeah, I'll help you get better."

Happy cackles quietly in a corner, chorusing to himself about how, 'he liiiikes her'.

"Great! Let's start tomorrow morning, okay Natsu?" He smiles again in confirmation and they begin their walk towards the old barn. After collecting their reward money, the three enter the neighbouring town to explore. Fast forward through multiple visits to a couple of bookstores and restaurants, the sky has darkened to a bluish, purple hue. The clouds were no longer distinguishable and Lucy yawns, petting Happy, being careful not to wake him up.

Natsu looks at his two partners, feel some sort of righteousness in the moment. His eyes hovered over Happy to Lucy's (squishy) face, before lowering to her exposed neck. Trailing down, his throat begins to grow dry as-

"Finally. There's an inn here." Lucy cuts into his thoughts, as she begins to jog lightly towards the blinking open-sign. Natsu shakes his head, feeling a little uncertain of his behaviour.

"Thank goodness, I'm tired from going to all of those bookstores."

"And I feel like I gained 10 pounds from all of the food you bought, but you didn’t hear me complaining."

They enter the wooden cabin, taking in the musky scent of the small area. An elderly man sits at the front desk, seemingly staring at the wall. A soft snore leaves him and he shakes slightly. Lucy creeps towards him, feeling bad to wake him up but really wanting a place to clean up and sleep.

"Uh, excuse me." He doesn't move. "Sir? Sir!" The man flinches and slams his hands on the table, making Lucy and Natsu jump with dumbfounded looks on their faces. Happy still stays asleep throughout all of this.

"Yes! How may I help you?!" The man unnecessarily screams and Lucy sweat drops.

"Room for one please." She murmurs, beginning to feel tired after the day's events.

"You-you mean with one bed?" The man then whispers, stuttering. He looks between Lucy and Natsu as if it was the most scandalous thing ever. They weren't even dating but either way it isn't that big of a deal. And the guy works at a freaking inn, of course couples were going to come by and do the diggity.

Natsu, getting grumpy with how long this is taking, leans really close to the elder. "Listen ya' old geezer, can we get a room or not?" He growls.

The guy nods, blushing, and Lucy can't help notice the resemblance between him and Erza.

"Up the stairs, the fourth door to the left." He puts the key down and gets out of his seat, shuffling away. The two mutter their thanks and follow his instructions, entering their room for the night.

The suite is very homy. Although small, it emphasizes the comfortable vibe the cabin initially gives off. It has wooden planks that creek with every step taken, and a basic, wood carved bed lying in the centre. An old TV sat in front of the bed and beside it lay a mini living room. Two small, beige coloured couches circle a wooden table and the balcony is blocked by a glass door, covered by thin, brown curtains.

"You can change first. I'm going to get Happy comfortable on the couch." Lucy says quietly, walking towards the two seats. Natsu makes a noise of confirmation and ruffles through his clothes. He enters the bathroom, changing into his red shorts and going topless. After freshing himself up he exits, only to find Lucy quietly dozing off.

He decides to wake her up, since she always complains about feeling disgusting in the morning if she doesn't clean up the night before.

"Lucy." Natsu whispers, leaning closer to her. His heart begins to speed up. The look of innocence on her face was...enticing? It made him feel powerful oddly enough. As if...

He shakes his head.

"Lucy!" This time he screams and she jumps up, screeching.

"Natsu! What the hell?" She groans, but drags herself out of the bed anyway. He smiles at her, patting her butt as she leaves. Lucy freezes, turning around to glare at the pink haired boy. He doesn't seem to notice his actions as he goes to crawl into bed. "N-Natsu?"

"Hm?"

Lucy sighs. "Nothing." It's Natsu of all people. He probably has no idea what that meant to an average person. As she enters the washroom, he catches the light, pink flush on her cheeks and smirks to himself.

Continue Reading

#nalu #fairy tail nalu #nalu fanfiction #nalu fluff #natsu x lucy #lucy heartfilia #natsu dragneel #fairy tail

[dramaplustautology]

Scrambled Egg

It’s Mermay!! And this thing has no big plot, just a slice of life deal cause me and ry were talking about our OCs being mermaid princesses. Sometimes you should just talk about room decor, vague references to a bigger story that I have neither the time or skill to write :”

Hades wound himself around the Princess’ tower in his full Leviathan body, pushing his nose past the curtains into the highest bedroom. Legends sung of how he could fill the deepest trenches with his humongous form but he argued that he might be able to if he had a big lunch. The way he was now left spaces where the sun could touch the ancient stone.

The deep-sea Leviathan, Liberta, took up that space and nestled his chin on top of Hades’ head between his horns.

“Do you have to be this close?” Hades asked when Liberta started to stick his head into the window too. He knew they wouldn’t be able to get out without taking the wall with them.

“No.” Liberta stated, glancing at the other window he could have used to peek at the Princesses. Realizing that Hades was a little bit longer than he was, the white-scaled sea dragon stuck his tongue out to get an edge on his midnight counterpart.

On the large cushion made for five, Ryunn and Takaiko sat beneath the transparent canopy that once served as the bell of a large jellyfish. Constellations were woven into its delicate skin, glittering across it’s numerous string-like tentacles serving to cut the girls off from malicious intent.

They were appointed monarchs, allowing them to swim through the stingers without worry. If a shrimp accidentally crossed the threshold, the last thing it would learn was what evisceration was like.

On numerous occasions, Hades would take Ryunn by the collar poke his nose past the stingers to tuck the workaholic into bed. They ticked him, because he was a monster. The fact that Ryunn’s new friend could do the same worried him.

Perhaps slightly less than Takaiko’s own sea dragon trying to see if he could pick Hades’ nose with his tongue.

“I like your castle a lot more than mine.” She said, balancing a bright pink coral growing from the confines of its scallop shell flowerpot.

An array of bright seaweeds and anemones happily swayed and bloomed all over the room. The newest addition to Ryunn’s nursery was a refined lavender xenia, nestling into the chambered obsidian nautilus shell Takaiko brought from the depths as a gift.

Ryunn offered it back to her but Takaiko shook her head. As opposed to the lustrous pattern of gold-dusted blue pearls decorating Ryunn’s white hair, Takaiko had hers tied into the bio-lights of anglerfish.

Takaiko pinched one of them, saying “This isn’t the sun, they won’t survive. All of the pretty things should stay here.”

“That’s not true,” Ryunn said, flicking her tail to reach an empty rope basket hanging from the ceiling. Takaiko rolled on her stomach to get a better view of the sun making the other princess’ scales sparkle bright enough to shine through her long dress. “Sometimes, the clouds block the stars in the sky but when I look down to the valley where you live, the stars there never stop shining.”

“Those are hunting lights,” Takaiko shimmied closer to a plate of surf clams, popping the chewy snack into her fanged mouth. They caught on the shellfish’s gummy body; unaccustomed to prey that didn’t rely on thrashing and biting to survive. “But if you think they’re pretty, they’re doing a good job.”

“Oh…” Ryunn trailed off, hands brushing over the thick shell of the deep sea nautilus. It had to be thick to withstand the intense water pressure in the Midnight sea. The Apho sea was blessed with sunlight and gentle waves. Scars like the kind Takaiko had crisscrossing over her scales and stomach were virtually unheard of. “You have it hard…”

“Untrue!” Takaiko protested immediately, catching her friend looking. “I just have to keep the Abyss from eating up more of the ocean floor,” Otherwise known as the worst parts of her personality stuffed behind a sealed gate. “You though--” She bundled her long sash tighter around her waist in an attempt to keep her robes from slipping when she shot herself at Ryunn’s tail.

Pressing her face into the vivid scales, she listened to Ryunn frantically giggle that she was ticklish, unable to stop herself from squirming. There were no scars, despite Ryunn’s perilous responsibility.

Likely, if she was as reckless as Takaiko, Ryunn would disappear. No scars to show for missing skin; the Princess and her people would be taken, leaving not a trace.

“You have to keep Death out.”

Out of reflex, Ryunn glanced out the window at the endless emptiness beyond the walls of the reef. For now, the shadows just belonged to the clouds.

Finding that Takaiko was clinging to her tail like a worried guppy gripping their pillow, Ryunn released the shelf and let them both sink to where her vanity mirror stood atop the wide flat plates of a table coral.  

“It can’t just be bad things out there. Look at this,” Ryunn lifted an inverted box. The ancient jewelry underneath spilled into a wide pile as a strange furry brown ball floated to the underside of the topmost shelf. “I found this after a big storm swept over the castle a week ago. There were lots of these attached to this stiff seaweed with big wide leaves that I’ve never seen before.” She offered the ball to Takaiko.

Taking ahold of the scratchy thing, the deepsea princess found that it was buoyant.

“None of my retainers knew what it was. At first, we thought it could have been an egg but it isn’t warm.”

“Eggs are supposed to be warm?” Takaiko asked, holding the ball to her nose. “Huh, I can hear pulses but I didn’t know eggs were supposed to be warm. If that’s true, there’s no blood flow, no twitching, so why does it smell good?”

The sunlit sea princess blinked at her friend, clamping her arms to her sides.

Of course Takaiko would have a stronger sense of smell; it was dark where she lived.

“Have you thought about opening it?” Takaiko asked, knocking on the shell to check if it was hollow.

The reason Ryunn was crossing her arms was because she had been playing catch with herself when Hades had almost swallowed it when he tried to play with her.

“I might have thought about it.” Ryunn wondered if a small knife could cut into the shell. Or a big rock could work.

“Make your pet bite it open.” Liberta suggested, overhearing the girls.

“I’m as much as a pet as you are literate,” Hades curled his lip, annoyed at Liberta using his tail as a backscratcher. “And if it isn’t an egg, what if it’s poisonous?”

“What if you weren’t a wuss?”

“What if we all got along!” Ryunn quickly interjected, noticing Hades gnashing his teeth. “I can open it.”

“Really?” Takaiko swam back, giving Ryunn some space.

Confused for a moment, it didn’t occur to Ryunn that Takaiko was staring, expecting Ryunn to rip the shell open with her bare hands.

Saying that she would need a tool to pry the strange object open would take three seconds but Ryunn felt put on the spot. Oh dear, was this a normal thing that monarchs could do? Her fingers would break before she’d be able to tear it apart. Even with clams, she needed to soften them in warm water. Gosh, could she use her teeth?

Though Hades was weighed down by a sleepy idiot, he knew Ryunn would instantly regret having a gap between her front teeth. He pretended to sneeze, shooting an icicle into the shell and it burst open.

A milky substance erupted from the crumbling shell, enveloping the princess in a thick white cloud.

Takaiko had been right. The contents did smell nice, but for some reason, Takaiko was screaming.

“It’s not an egg!” She slammed into her friend, knocking her to the floor. Placing a protective hand over Ryunn’s mouth to keep the milk from seeping in, Takaiko blurted “AAAAHG, are these spores!?”

Hades eyes snapped wide and he wrenched his head further into the bedroom. The wall crumbled as he instinctively threw his head over Ryunn to wall her off from the nasty sperm sack. His chin flattened both her and Takaiko, muffling their shouts and leaving cracks in the tiles.

Meanwhile, Liberta was nosing the broken pieces floating on the ceiling.

“Don’t touch that!” Hades yelled at him, recoiling at the freak darting his tongue out to touch the congealed white substance stuck to the sides of the broken shell. “I SAID DON’T TOUCH THAT.”

Liberta figured out that it wasn’t an egg or spore pouch, but he liked how Hades was freaking out so he made gross licking and slurping noises until the vanity smashed against the side of his face.

#uknow treat yoself #mermaid princess AU #Ryunn (S) #Ty (S) #using her full name instead of her nickname #liberta (s) #hades (s)

[spitfirerose]

Chocobo Down ((Prompto feat. Chocobo/Bros))

This is what I was working on it’s so long help. I’m just not nice to these boys at all. I love them, honest. @kaciart‘s art here at http://kaciart.tumblr.com/post/163609887568 of Prompto stepping up and doing his best under harsh conditions, along with his chocobo who is too good for this world. There’s a bit of blood, too.

Fun fact: ‘Ferrum’ means ‘blade/iron’ in Latin, fitting for ‘Gladio’ the sword, and ‘Mico’ translates to ‘flash’ like a camera. Pretty cool, huh P:

“Between you and me, I've got the better bird.”

“Oh yeah? And why is Mico best bird?”

“Ferrum,” Gladio corrects, amusement in his rumble of a voice at the gunner’s failed ruse. “Is far stronger and could eat that puny chickatrice of yours for breakfast.”

“You've only got the stronger chocobo to carry those muscles, big guy. And besides, strength isn't everything, y’know? Mico is quick as a flash, and has skills where it counts, don't you, girl?”

“Right, such as preening that chocobutt hair like you're her baby?”

“My hair does not look like a chocobo butt!” Prompto squawks rather loudly in offense and Mico pauses to crane her neck to face her rider, beak making way towards the pale strands deflated from the chilling rain. “Mimi, no, come on--”

“I’ll give you two privacy.” Gladio snorts, and Prompto barely starts up whining about being abandoned before the swordsman tenses, blood red chocobo mount letting out a low warning noise with talon scraping earth.

The Shield presses a finger to his lips and Prompto silences himself immediately, following Gladio’s signal that their targets are in sight. The steady downpour has drastically muted the dull drone of the giant insects’ wings, swarm of Killer Wasps sticking close to the thicket of trees and shelter of the steep cliffside. Sharp blue eyes pinpoint how many of the creepy crawlies there are, nearly matching their estimate of the split hive. Though there’s more of the bugs than anticipated, it’s a relief that things’ll be easier on their companions’ end, at least.

“You stay here, Mi.” Prompto murmurs as they dismount at a safe distance. Mico ‘kweh’s softly, dark gold plumage tickling his cheek as he hugs her outstretched neck, inhaling the heightened smell of wet chocobo. It’s not the greatest scent, but calming nonetheless. “There’s my good girl. Stay out of trouble, and keep Ferrum in line, alright?”

“Ferrum’ll keep her safe.” Either a jab from earlier, or Gladio’s way of being sincere, it’s hard to determine as Prompto releases her with a final reassuring pat on her beak. “We’ve got work to do.”

It’s simple work. Gladio fights the monsters head-on as usual, blade swinging and shield shielding, tanking the beasts like an impossibly rare hero in King’s Knight. Prompto plays the role of support like always, more than content to stay out of stinging range and as far from the nasty things as possible. The rain’s on their side despite being a hindrance to hair and visibility, making their foes’ movements sluggish in flight and easier to pick off.

It’s almost too simple, going too smoothly regardless of how optimistic Prompto wants to be. He swears he picks up the sounds of chocobos in distress over the battle, heart skipping a beat as he whips around towards where they’ve got the birds farther down along the rise of earth. There’s hardly a second to dwell on it before a deafening boom rattles him to the core, rock slamming against rock.

The cliff is crumbling, and Gladiolus is right beneath it.

Prompto screams.

It’s as if everything is in slow motion, and Prompto is frozen into place like one of Noct’s misguided blizzard spells. A slew of stone snaps off the upper edge, breaking off into dozens of deadly pieces with each crushing collision against the cliff face down onto the combatants below. The blond thinks he’s shrieking out warnings to get away through the buzzing white noise, but everything’s so damn slow and why can’t he move godsdamn it--

Oh.

The stinger of a Killer Wasp protruding out of his left side might be why, glistening with a sickening combination of blood and poison.

He blinks slowly, pain finally registering and whiplashing time back into place as gravity drops him onto his knees, head twisting around to get a glimpse of the overgrown insect as his brain sluggishly thinks of what the hell he’s going to do.

His peripherals catch burning gold instead of hard black and yellow, stinger yanked out of him as well as the rest of monster, snatched out of the air with a mighty screech. Unforgiving talons rip the attacker to shreds, beak snapping and wings swooping as it’s slain, corpse unidentifiable. Praise is slurred out of him, right hand plastered against the wound as he gets one unsteady foot beneath him.

Shit, Gladio! The reminder hits him as eyes catch on the chaotic aftermath. It’s a cruel twist of the Six that the Shield is easy to spot, fallen form surrounded by a pair of opportune wasps. His aim is shaky at best with his off-hand, biting his lower lip and willing himself to stay steady as the shots ricochet through his body, making their mark. Prompto doesn’t have to say anything as Mico nudges at his left arm before ducking underneath as support to get up the rest the way. Dizziness greets him once back on his feet, threatening to take him back down as he hobbles over to Gladio, praying to every Astral that exists that the big guy isn’t dead.

He’s still breathing, but they’ve got no potions on them for what was meant to be an easy Hunt. The unnecessary trouble of it all drives Prompto to collect the stingers as proof the job is done, shoving them in his jacket’s pocket before having the sense to assess the situation like Ignis would.

Ferrum’s nowhere in sight, likely spooked away by the landside, and Noct has their only whistle. Of course the reception in the area is out like Gladio, and it’s still raining.

His side is killing him, but he’ll worry about that later. Right now, he’s gotta get them somewhere safe--he’s the only hope they’ve got, serious flesh wound or not.

“S’okay, Mico.” Prompto exhales when the chocobo makes a worrying noise at him suddenly kneeling before Gladio with little to no grace, more of a drop to his aching knees.

The worst of what he can see are just open cuts from where the rocks clipped him, a particularly nasty bump hidden beneath the wild mane that’s going to be a hell of a headache if--when he wakes up. Mico mimics his actions, settling down at the Shield’s other side with a gentle chirp, gazing into her rider’s uncertain eyes. She means to carry the unconscious man, and Prompto could not love her any more as he takes another deep breath.

He’s spoiling her after this and for the rest of his life as he manages to roll Gladio upon her back, assisted by her pulling at his collar like a mother cat to kittens. The task winds him more than it should, swaying to stand at her other side with a death grip at the reins.

Now to walk. Easy. He can do that, just one foot in front of the other until...until he finds some shelter.

“Good bird. Good, good girl, Mimi.” Prompto praises her with a tremble in his voice that’s gotten weaker over the past twenty minutes, shakily stroking the dark honey feathers. Mico ‘kweh’s softly in response, ducking her neck to nudge her beak beneath his palm. “That's my sweet girl. Gla--Gladio's gonna owe you bi--big time.”

He’s getting her a lifetime supply of sylkis greens once this is over, and Gladio’s gonna pay for all of it.

The swordsman in question says nothing, slumped across the bird’s back like cargo. Quiet and eerily still, save for the steady rise and fall of his chest as the only indication of life. The nasty gash on his forehead still bleeds crimson on golden sunrise, but it’s starting to scab over. It’s looking better, whereas he knows his injury must be looking worse--no thanks to the aimless wandering around--, but he’s not going to strain Mico. She’s doing a great job at just being able to carry the big guy, he’s not about to have her give him a ride as well. He can keep walking, he can, he can.

Prompto stumbles yet again, accidentally tugging at the reins wrapped tightly around his left wrist. Mico lets out a pained squawk at the sudden downward jerk, more concerned for the boy as he catches himself from completely falling over, mumbling endless apologies that sound more like gibberish. His side burns, hot to the touch as he once again presses his hand against the bloody mess. He’s scared to look, though his vision’s been getting worse as Mico nudges him away from almost walking into the tenth tree in the past couple minutes.

“Just gon’...rest ‘ere.” The gunner decides on impulse, heavily supporting himself against the firm trunk before slowly, slowly inching himself down onto the damp forest floor. The bark digs into his back, roots hard beneath him, and wet grass staining his outfit--but in his feverish state, none of it matters. Mico lays close, great feathered head within scratching distance and he buries a hand in the sunflower shades. Soft, warm, welcoming--Prompto would give anything to just sleep in the chocobo comfort.

‘Kweh!’

“Mimi, no. Rest ‘ime.”

‘Kweh!’

“Just...Just a bit--”

The bird call goes off for a third time before he processes that it’s not her, but rather the phone that is, in fact, calling. He wants it to stop, wants to just ignore the disruptive noise, but a nagging, insistent voice in the back of his mind tells him that he needs to answer it.

“Prompto, is everything alright on your end?” Ignis sounds concerned, which is weird because he hasn’t said anything yet. Had he just tried calling the one time? He doesn’t remember. It takes him too long to come up with a summary that’ll satisfy the Advisor before he’s asked again, more firmly in that Ignis-means-business tone.

“....n-no.” Prompto settles for the stutter of a word, and it does nothing to placate the man.

“Prompto, I need you to keep talking--tell me what you see?” He vaguely wonders how much Ignis deciphered from the answer, because he sounds kinda upset, a very unlike Ignis thing to be.

“Trees...” He tries to be helpful, he really does. He’s seen enough trees to last a lifetime--one that might end here.

“We’re getting in the Regalia now, I’m passing you over to Noct.” Something is added after that during the switch, and he stops himself from dropping the phone when his grip slackens for a moment.

“Prompto? Buddy, Prompto, you still there?” Noct is really worried, too, and Prompto tries to think of what he did wrong this time to warrant such a reaction. He was doing so good...wasn’t he? Man, they’re gonna be real mad when they find him and Gladio. Oh, right.

“‘e’s not ‘wakin’.” He slurs, chin bobbing forward as the leaves on the trees before him swirl like some sort of hypnotic trance. That’s weird, too, he’s sure that’s not normal, eyes becoming harder to keep open after every slow blink. The insistent tiny voice warns that if he closes them, there’s a good chance it’ll be the last time he does.

“Who? You mean Gladio? Is he there, Prom?”

He’s so tired.

“N--Noct...”

His eyelids are so heavy.

“Yeah, Prom? What is it? I’m listening. We’re on our way to--”

Just...Just for a little bit.

“Sorry ‘m dyin’.”

The phone slips out of his limp hand.

He’s dead for the longest ten minutes of Noct’s life.

He counts every second of silence, begs for Prompto to say something every five.

Noct’s ready to see if he can’t just warp through the damn device when finally, finally, after the longest six hundred seconds, there’s that sleepy little dazed grumble of a groan.

“Hmmnhhh? Oh hey, Noct, s--sorry must’ve dozed off.”

“Th--That’s okay, buddy, you’re awake now.” It’s more okay than Prompto’ll ever know as even Ignis breathes out a sigh of relief.

“Prompto, what is your condition?” The phone’s on speaker now, Noct holding it out between them as Ignis drives just over the speed limit. His gaze occasionally flickers over at the navigation screen’s tracking icons, not closing in fast enough.

“Dunno. ‘s’lot o’ blood.” A sharp intake of breath, followed by a whimper as if seeing it for the first time.

“Where’s the blood, Prompto?” A moment passes as if he needs to think about it, or worse that he’s about to pass out again.

“My hands.”

“And where else?” Ignis is going to strangle him with his own, out of frustrated love for this idiotic child. Noct is fidgeting in the passenger seat, torn between staring worryingly at the phone and glancing out the window as if Prompto will be in sight.

“Oh---oh my stomach.” And it’s like Prompto’s struck Noct there, face paling as he almost drops the device.

“How deep is it?” Noctis all but blurts out, panic unleashed and contagious through the line as the gunner immediately cries out that he doesn’t want to look. Ignis wants to chide him for putting Prompto in distress, the last thing he needs in his clearly bad state, but can’t bring himself to. Prompto is the main focus, best to keep calm.

“Okay, Prompto, can you put pressure on it just in case?” Prompto, bless his large heart, completely trusts Ignis to do it, that the Advisor would never do anything to hurt the blond--at least intentionally.

But this hurts. He whines, tears practically streaming out of his quivering voice as he asks why Ignis would make him do that. But he’s so eager to please as always that he keeps them there when Ignis scolds that he better still be holding down on the inferno of a gash. The whimpering dies down suddenly, and something rustles by wherever Prompto dropped his phone, followed by a solid weight hitting the ground.

“Prompto? What the fuck--” The gruff voice of Gladiolus rumbles through, deep tone subtly higher with barely concealed terror. “Shit, oh shit. C’mon, kid. Talk to me.”

“Gladio? Gladio, we’re almost there--how is he? Gladio?” It’s a tie between the Regalia’s two occupants to try and get the Shield’s attention drawn away from the blond enough to notice his phone. The swordsman does, long enough to inform them that the cut isn’t deep, but Prompto’s burning one hell of a fever.

And he hangs up.

“Ngh, Gl--Gladio...?” Prompto’s got his eyes open just a sliver and hardly much more, voice but a rasp as he lets out a harsh choke of a sob at Gladio inspecting the injury beneath his shirt. He feels like shit, and by the way Gladio looks at him, he knows he must look it.

Gladio presses a large palm against his sweaty forehead and swears at how scorching hot he is. That can’t be right, because Prompto’s sure he’s chilled to the bone, numb and shivering beneath the cool rain. His words aren’t working correctly, trying to say that he’s cold, and the next thing he knows is Gladio’s lost the jacket and it’s draped over him before being pulled against his side. There’s a surprise grunt as something’s taken out of Prompto’s pocket, brain too mudded to think of what it is, but Gladio sounds impressed, and that’s good enough for him. A flash of gold walks across his vision, briefly taking it as the metaphorical light at the end of the tunnel, before nuzzling against his other side with a tender trill, and that’s kinda comforting, too.

“You’ve got the best bird, you know that?”

Yeah, he sure does.

Noct has never warped so fast in his life, pushing through stasis that’ll likely kill him in the morning, but he doesn’t care as he charges forward, Ignis just barely keeping pace.

Prompto doesn’t know just how close he was to making it to the roadside. It’s one of too few strokes of luck as in five minutes they pick out Mico’s brilliant gilded feathers amongst muddy brown and emerald green. The chocobo perks up with a shrill ‘kweh’, alerting her wards as Gladio joins in on shouting their location.

Mico hisses, however, when Noct materializes out of nowhere in a blue flash, completely breathless as he crushes both elixir and antidote vials over Prompto’s wound. He finally breaths again when Prompto’s body loses all fevered tension, pained face softening in safe unconsciousness. Color returns to freckled cheeks, and he’s hit with a strong urge to kiss each and every one when Ignis hums over his shoulder.

“Yes, he seems to be out of any immediate danger.” The Advisor probes the healing scars, only a hint of exhaustion peeking through his calm persona. His attention shifts to Gladio, tenderly cupping the battered man’s face as he retrieves an elixir of his own. “It would appear you weren’t spared, either. These cuts look rather serious.”

“Nah, they’re just scratches. Gimme a potion, Specs, don’t waste that on me.”

“It is never a waste, Gladio.” And that’s the end of that. Ignis assists him to his feet after Noct shifts Prompto so the blond lies across his own lap, head lolling back against his neck. Mico prances in place, all nervous energy and anxious warbling noises. “It’d be best for you to carry him, Gladio.”

“Yeah, I owe the kid more than that.” The Shield complies without further argument, Noct’s touch lingering on Prompto until he’s settled as comfortably as possible in the sturdy arms. The chocobo hovers close, practically melding to the Shield like a second shadow and he reaches a hand to stroke the honey feathers. “I owe you, too. Guess I underestimated the both of ya.”

“You think?” Noctis quips that while true, is ignored as Ignis suggests they get out of the blasted rain and make way for the nearest haven. They haven’t the heart to dismiss Mico away, and she certainly can’t fit in the Regalia, after all.

There’s two things that Prompto loves more than anything. Well, he loves a great many things, like sunrises and photography and green soup curry and positive attention--, but these are his top two that are right at his side when he wakes up.

It’s not the safety of being curled up in his sleeping bag, not the blessed dryness after hours drenched in the rain. Not even the relief that he’s feeling so much better compared to the near-death experience earlier.

It’s blearily opening his eyes to Noct’s face merely inches from his own, jaw slack and drooling slightly in sleep. It’s the soft peeping noise that draws focus to his right, turning over to an abundance of sunshine fluff like that of a giant pompom. Mico stretches her neck out from beneath her wing, deciding to rest her head upon his chest with a ‘whoomph’, oblivious to the move knocking air out of his lungs as she falls back asleep. Prompto still smiles at her, limbs heavy from however long he’s been out of it as he cards a hand through the cozy down. The smile still stays as he looks back over to Noctis, uttering frightened phrases and what he swears is his name before the raven-haired boy squirms closer, reaching out as if the blond is right there.

He is, and Prompto takes his hand, visibly relaxing at the simple gesture.

Azure orbs droop shut with clinging exhaustion, but Prompto’s not afraid to drift off this time. He’s got the greatest friend, and the best chocobo that a guy could ask for looking after him.

#my writing #prompto argentum #chocobos #chocobros #gladiolus amicitia #ignis scientia #noctis lucis caelum #promptis #love me some promptis #ffxv #Should really stick these somewhere besides here #if you reblog you gotta tag your thoughts people #Let me hear those tears and heartbreaking screeches #that sweet sweet validation fuels me #As does my sunshine son

[mysteryshelf]

BLOG TOUR - Trimmed to Death

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Trimmed to Death (Bad Hair Day Mysteries) by Nancy J Cohen

About the Book

Trimmed to Death (Bad Hair Day Mysteries) Cozy Mystery 15th in Series Orange Grove Press (September 25, 2018) Paperback: 290 pages ISBN-10: 0998531766 ISBN-13: 978-0998531762 Digital ASIN: B07F2FP55B

Mix together a cocktail for murder, add a few salty suspects, toss in a dollop of sweet humor, and you have the recipe for Trimmed to Death, #15 in the Bad Hair Day cozy mystery series.

Savvy hairstylist and amateur sleuth Marla Vail enters a charity bake-off contest at a fall festival sponsored by a local farm. While she waits to see if her coconut fudge pie is a winner, Marla joins a scavenger hunt where people playing character roles are the targets. Instead of scoring points with a live person, she finds a dead body planted face-down in the strawberry field. Who would want to cut short the life of food magazine publisher and fellow bake-off contestant Francine Dodger? As she investigates, Marla learns there’s no shortage of suspects. A celebrity TV chef, food critic, olive oil importer, food truck owner, pastry chef, and cookbook author may be stirring up more than their next recipe. Can Marla unmask the killer before someone else gets trimmed from life?

Recipes Included!

Guest Post by the Author

Farm Festivals by Nancy J. Cohen

  When I decided to set my new story, Trimmed to Death, at a farm festival, I had little experience with this type of event. I’d attended the corn maze at Long & Scott Farms (http://www.longandscottfarms.com/about-us.html) in Mount Dora, Florida and vaguely remembered the details. To add to the setting, I visited Bedner’s Farm in Boynton Beach (http://www.bedners.com/about-us.html). The U-pick fields, fresh marketplace, kiddie area and barbecue tent provided plenty of fodder for my imagination. Using notes from my visit, I created fictional Kinsdale Farms and set my opening scene at a fall harvest festival. Hairstylist and amateur sleuth Marla Vail enters a bake-off competition, and things heat up from there when she finds another contestant dead in the strawberry patch.

  After determining the setting, I researched fairs and festivals online to learn more about the events that take place during these local gatherings. Besides a band providing musical entertainment, you might have a choice of hay rides, pony rides, a petting zoo, face-painting, a corn maze, booths with local businesses offering swag along with promotional brochures, food vendors and a farmer’s market. Contests can include bake-offs, best homegrown vegetables, art, photography, or even a doggie dress-up competition.

  A new and interesting topic popped up during my research. I read about a live scavenger hunt wherein people play character roles and contestants follow clues to locate each person. This inspired me to create a similar game in my story. Another topic I came across dealt with hazards for farm workers. That’s a subject I mention in my book. Did a laborer accidentally fall into a silo? But let’s backtrack and observe Marla playing the live scavenger hunt game in this brief excerpt:

  Marla discovered Patty Pepper weaving through the crowd. The middle-aged woman had on a sweater with red and green peppers woven into the design.

  “Here’s your question, dear,” Patty said when Marla stopped her. “Which foods are better for you—red or white?”

  Marla didn’t even have to think about it. She’d been told often enough by her friend Tally to avoid white foods like pastries, breads, and pasta. “Beta-carotene is a pigment found in many fruits and vegetables. It gives them their color and has healthful properties, so the answer is red.”

  “That’s correct. The human body converts beta-carotene into vitamin A. We need this substance for healthy skin and good eye health.” The woman stamped Marla’s card and gave her a spiel about colorful foods like carrots, cantaloupe, sweet potatoes and peppers.

  As Marla moved on, she decided the game wasn’t as easy to play as she’d thought. An hour or more passed before she tracked down the other individuals. They kept moving and could be anywhere on the property.

  Finally, she had one more to go. Francine was listed as the queen bee. Would she be wearing a fake crown? Or perhaps a hat with a bee stinger?

  The sun beat down on her head as she traipsed from one site to another without spotting her quarry. Francine didn’t seem to be anywhere.

  Uh-oh. Why can’t anyone find Francine? Marla will learn the answer soon enough.

  Reader Question: Have you ever attended a farm festival? What do you like most about these events?

  <><><> 

  Trimmed to Death

Savvy hairstylist and amateur sleuth Marla Vail enters a charity bake-off contest at a fall festival sponsored by a local farm. While she waits to see if her coconut fudge pie is a winner, Marla joins a scavenger hunt where people playing character roles are the targets. Instead of scoring points with a live person, she finds a dead body planted face-down in the strawberry field. Who would want to cut short the life of food magazine publisher and fellow bake-off contestant Francine Dodger? As she investigates, Marla learns there’s no shortage of suspects. Can she unmask the killer before someone else gets trimmed from life? Recipes Included!

  Buy Links

Amazon Print: https://www.amazon.com/dp/0998531766/

Amazon Kindle: https://www.amazon.com/Trimmed-Death-Hair-Mysteries-Book-ebook/dp/B07F2FP55B/

iBooks: https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/id1397004147

Kobo: https://www.kobo.com/us/en/ebook/trimmed-to-death

BN Nook: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/books/1128897795?ean=2940162152613

BN Print: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/trimmed-to-death-nancy-j-cohen/1128897795?ean=9780998531762

  Nancy J. Cohen writes the Bad Hair Day Mysteries featuring South Florida hairstylist Marla Vail. Titles in this series have made the IMBA bestseller list, been selected by Suspense Magazine as best cozy mystery, won a Readers’ Favorite gold medal, and earned third place in the Arizona Literary Awards. Nancy has also written the instructional guide, Writing the Cozy Mystery. A featured speaker at libraries, conferences, and community events, she is listed in Contemporary Authors, Poets & Writers, and Who’s Who in U.S. Writers, Editors, & Poets. When not busy writing, Nancy enjoys fine dining, cruising, visiting Disney World, and shopping…or visiting the salon for research.

  Social Media

Website:  https://nancyjcohen.com

Blog: https://nancyjcohen.wordpress.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/NancyJCohenAuthor

Twitter: https://twitter.com/nancyjcohen

Linked In:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/nancyjcohen

BookBub: https://www.bookbub.com/authors/nancy-j-cohen

Instagram: https://instagram.com/nancyjcohen

Pinterest: https://pinterest.com/njcohen/

Google Plus: https://plus.google.com/+NancyJCohen/

Booklover’s Bench: https://bookloversbench.com

YouTube: https://bit.ly/1djD5nY

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/nancyjcohen

  About the Author

  Nancy J. Cohen writes the Bad Hair Day Mysteries featuring South Florida hairstylist Marla Vail. Titles in this series have made the IMBA bestseller list and been selected by Suspense Magazine as the best cozy mystery. Nancy has also written the instructional guide, Writing the Cozy Mystery. Her imaginative romances, including the Drift Lords series, have proven popular with fans as well. A featured speaker at libraries, conferences, and community events, Nancy is listed in Contemporary Authors, Poets & Writers, and Who’s Who in U.S. Writers, Editors, & Poets. When not busy writing, she enjoys fine dining, cruising, visiting Disney World, and shopping.

Author Links:

Website: http://nancyjcohen.com

Blog: http://nancyjcohen.wordpress.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/NancyJCohenAuthor

Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/nancyjcohen

Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/91508.Nancy_J_Cohen

Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/njcohen/

Linked In: http://www.linkedin.com/in/nancyjcohen

Booklover’s Bench: http://bookloversbench.com

Newsletter Sign-Up: http://nancyjcohen.com/newsletter/

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[closetofanxiety]

Nitromare: Three men make a terrible decision

I haven’t been posting here much because Hakujinjoe is visiting from Japan and we’re roaming around New England. For some reason, we decided to watch every episode of Monday Nitro during the Vince Russo-Ed Ferrara Era, starting with the very first one on October 18, 1999. Mark has joined us on this terrible journey, as he is not afraid to endure the worst 1990s TV wrestling had to offer. Let’s dive in, shall we?

The episode, airing from Philadelphia, starts with a limo arriving, a Vince Russo favorite. A bunch of suits get out, followed by Sid Vicious. They walk toward the arena with expressions of grim purpose.

Inside, we get a good cruiserweight match between Juventud Guerrera and Evan Karagias that is interrupted by Bret Hart, who comes out to complain that “politics in the back” have kept him from wrestling Hulk Hogan. This promo is interrupted by Sting, who comes out and offers Bret a world title shot, but not before saying, “I got your legacy right here” and doing a crotch chop. 

There’s a two-minute match between Disco Inferno and Vampire that ends with Disco getting a clean pin, then getting attacked by Lash Laroux. Heenan and Schiavone are on commentary and this is still definitively a wrestling show, but cracks are starting to show.

In the ring, there’s some kind of Nitro Girls competition happening, in which a new Nitro Girl will be chosen. The contestants are Chiquita and Stacy Keibler, and we see b-roll of them dancing suggestively. I think both ended up as Nitro Girls, but this segment is interrupted by Buff Bagwell, who comes out in a pair of overalls painted like a Kriss Kross video in 1990. He cuts a promo in which he repeats “Buff is the stuff” half a dozen times, dances awkwardly, and leaves. 

The Vince Russo Era has truly begun.

Some crowd signs: “No One Gives a Damn What the Rock Says”; “WWF = Wrestling White Trash Federation”; “Rey Misterio Bronco Buster ME”; “Rap is Crap!”; “Nash is God”; “Sid Fears the Spear”; “Sid Sucks”; “Velcro Despencers” [sic]; “Sid Your Next” [sic]; “Goldberg Philly is Next”; “Sting Rules”; “The Outsiders Are the Real Deal”; “Drunk 24:7″; “I See Dead People”; “Stone Cold Smokes the Pole”; “Hogan = Homo”; “Jebroni” [sic]; “Austin Sleeps With Sheep”; “Goldberg the Last True Hero”

Tag team championship match: Konnan and an unmasked Rey Misterio Jr. vs champs Harlem Heat. There’s decent wrestling, with Rey in particular hitting a beeyootiful  springboard moonsault, but Vince and Ed cannot abide a mere wrestling match, so Eddie Guerrero, Billy Kidman, and Torrie Wilson come out to talk on commentary for some reason. No one is calling the match, but it’s good. Rey looks like a child without his mask. Actually, with the dyed blonde hair, he looks exactly like his son, Dominic, whose custody he would later battle for in a ladder match. Stevie Ray hits the slowest, sloppiest power slam I have ever seen in a professional wrestling match. Eddie and Kidman interfere, then Rey and Konnan cheat to win the titles. NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPS. This is fine. The Filthy Animals were supposed to be cheating heels.

Kimberly Page is looking for someone backstage and is talking flirtatiously to David Flair, a man who does not want to be on television. It’s incredible how poorly suited he was for this. “David Flair looks like some guy they pulled out of the audience, like he’s shocked to be there,” Joe notes. “Like some college guy who just got out of a party.” Not since Mike Von Erich has a member of a wrestling family been so visibly unsuited for wrestling.

HELL YES. IT’S MENG TIME. Meng is wrestling Bill DeMott, who is still in his Hugh Morrus persona, but now he’s SERIOUS and Jimmy Hart is his manager. Morrus headbutts Meng, which is a bad choice. As the match proceeds, Scott Hall and Kevin Nash walk down the arena steps, so the entire crowd stops paying attention to what’s happening the ring. This is a hallmark of Vince Russo’s philosophy: just constantly have things interrupted by other things. Meng wins with the Tongan Death Grip, but the crowd doesn’t care. Hall and Nash are sitting ringside with two women Heenan describes as “beautiful dolls.”

Sid comes out to the ring and then calls his “attorneys” to join him. The crowd boos the attorneys. The crowd chants “Goldberg” while Sid uncorks a Vintage. Halting. Promo. With. Lots. Of. Jumbled. Shouting. “I. Am. A. Man. Of. My. Word. I. Am. A. Man. Of. Integrity” Sid says, a sentiment that many 21st century indie promoters will have reason to dispute. Goldberg runs out and absolutely flattens one of the actors playing a lawyer. Just fucking kills the guy. Sid lays Goldberg out with a kick and then power bombs him. The crowd is livid. This is a good setup for Halloween Havoc, because people are booing the heel and want to see him get his ass kicked. This is good wrestling booking. I can give credit where it’s due.

At ringside, Hall and Nash are laughing at Goldberg, who mushes them both. There’s a pull apart. Someone in the crowd throws a roll of toilet paper, because hey, Philadelphia. The Outsiders are led from the arena by security. A fresh-faced kid of perhaps 13 runs down to try and get Hall and Nash to Too Sweet him; a 1999 Internet fan. We watch a long tracking shot of Hall and Nash being led through the Spectrum, or whatever the Philly arena was called at this point. It’s almost artistic it’s so tedious. JJ Dillon appears for a split second, looking like a man who is rethinking the last 18 months of his decisions.

Backstage, Mike Tenay interviews Bret Hart, who cuts a good, standard wrestling promo, although he keeps calling the company “the WCW.” The interview is interrupted by Sting jumping Hart in the locker room, which is badly out of character. 

Now Berlyn comes out with his bodyguard, The Wall. Get it? Beryln and the Wall? God, was anyone in WCW more ill-served by the writers than Alex Wright? He was a good wrestler with a good look, who was given absolutely nothing to work with. Come to think of it, that also describes Brad Armstrong. Tonight, Berlyn will be wrestling the Dogface Gremlin himself, Rick Steiner, who looks as excited to be here as someone attending family court. It’s weirdly compelling how little Rick Steiner cares about this match. Why should he care? This match is going to be interrupted, and it is, by Brad Armstrong! Speak of the devil. Jesus, poor Brad Armstrong. He hates Berlyn, but his interference accidentally costs Steiner the match, and Steiner beats up Armstrong with a lazy, unhurried disinterest. 

We’re back in the bowels of the Spectrum, where Hall and Nash have sneaked back in. They wander around looking for Goldberg. They’re good at sneaking, what with this camera crew following them.

Now we’re at a hotel, and Kimberly page comes inside and then disrobes to a one-piece lingerie set. Instead of DDP, though, Ric Flair jumps out of the bathroom and tells Kimberly, “Tonight you gonna get the 14-time spanking your daddy shoulda given you a long time ago.” 

Now we’re backstage, and Goldberg, prowling the Spectrum, lays out Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope from Insane Clown Posse, which, as Joe notes, gets the biggest pop of the night. 

Now we’re at a different part of the backstage area, and Lex Luger and Miss Elizabeth are being interviewed, the knowledge we have now making this hard to watch. Lex cuts a halting, awkward promo about how he is, indeed, the total package. 

David Flair comes out in his father’s robe, to his father’s music, with all the pomp and circumstance of an unemployed guy walking outside to get the mail. He’ll be wrestling Billy Kidman, who comes out with Torrie Wilson. Four years after this, they would be married. The crowd hates David Flair’s awkward offense so much. Flair sucks so bad at this. Flair does sell the Shooting Star Press convincingly, probably because he was legitimately terrified and hurt by it. Kidman wins, and the Filthy animals come out to beat on Flair. Wikipedia tells me David Flair never wanted to be a wrestler, which sounds about right. 

Now we’re backstage for the Hall and Nash Snoop Hour. They run into Gene Okerlund, who looks bored and disgusted. 

Now we’re backstage, but in a different part, and Ric Flair is here, presumably having had sex with Kimberly Page despite her original desire to have sex with her husband. When I was growing up I had an issue of Playboy with Kimberly Page in it, which was a revelation for a WWF fan like myself. 

Now we’ve got an evening gown match featuring Mona - better known as Molly Holly - and Madusa, who is disgusted by the stipulation AND THAT’S PROBABLY A SHOOT BROTHER. This starts off fast, with some actual wrestling and some crisp suplexes from both women. “The last time I saw two women in dresses fighting like that was at Bloomingdale’s at the end of the month sale,” Brain says, beaming in from 1964. Madusa takes out the ref with a missed kick and then hits a beautiful suplex on Mona. Mona sneaks up from behind and pulls Madusa’s dress off. The crowd boos. None of us wanted this. Madusa gets the mic to cut a promo, saying everyone can kiss her ass. 

Backstage. Sting is pacing back and forth. Bret is heading out to the ring. Hart, maybe the best pure wrestler of his generation, was so badly misused by WCW. It’s really a phenomenal story. How could you screw something like this up? But they did. Oh, boy, did they. 

People love Sting, and at this point they still love Bret, so this match is a dumb idea. In retrospect it seems insane that they had this match, with no buildup, on an episode of free TV, but that was kind of common in this era, in both companies. The match begins as a leisurely paced brawl until Bret gets the upper hand by getting the knees up to stuff the Vader Bomb, or whatever it was called when Sting did it. Bret takes over for a while, then Sting reverses an Irish whip and gets a Stinger Splash to get the upper hand. Nick Patrick is the referee, and is not wearing a belt. Is that common? It looks weird. How are you holding up your sensible black trousers, Nick Patrick? The crowd is firmly behind Sting, who hits the elbow drop and does that thing where he cups his hands over his mouth and yells. I would describe this match as Perfectly Fine. It’s a rung or three below what these guys are capable of, but it’s not bad. Bret hits an absolutely filthy piledriver, but Sting kicks out. Hart teases the Sharpshooter but doesn’t give the crowd what they want. After some futzing around, he finally locks it in, but Sting grabs the rope. Sting is selling the effect of the Sharpshooter very well, trying to get Hart up for a bodyslam but having his leg give out under him. Oh boy, an interruption: Miss Elizabeth comes out to the ring for some reason, followed shortly by a bat-wielding Lex Luger. Hart is forced to fight Luger and Hart. Luger hits Hart in the shin with a bat, enabling Sting to lock in the Scorpion Deathlock, to which Hart immediately taps out. That finish was not Perfectly Fine. 

Wait, that wasn’t the main event? We’re backstage. Ric is yelling at David Flair, who repeatedly mumbles “Billy Kidman beat me up.” It’s hard to believe these two men are related.

Backstage in a different part of the Spectrum. Hall and Nash are putting on lucha masks for some reason. They are still looking for Goldberg. 

We’re back to the ring, for La Parka. Have you heard that he’s having a career year in 2018? Well, in 1999, he was having the kind of year where he had to follow a 15-minute Bret Hart-Sting match by wrestling Buff Bagwell. The crowd is predictably dead. What would these men say if you told them that in less than 20 years, one would be a gigolo and the other would be having a career year in pro wrestling? They would probably correctly guess which one would be the gigolo. La Parka beats a visibly disinterested Buff with a roll-up. Then Buff gets on the headset and says, “Hey, Russo, did I do a good job for you? Who else is going to beat me? Why don’t you come out and beat me?” Then Jeff Jarrett, in a surprise arrival from WWF, runs out and kabongs Buff with a guitar shot. The crowd reacts at least. This was kind of a famous jump from WWF to WCW, after Jarrett held Vince up for a huge sum of money to drop the belt to Chyna after his contract expired. Jarrett grabs his dick, says, “You wanna talk about stroke, bitch?” and then walks to the back. This is painfully Russovian. 

After another painful Hall-Nash segment backstage, we’ve got Eddie Guerrero vs. Chavo Jr. vs. Perry Saturn in a three-way elimination match. Shane Douglas joins the commentary team and says he is “the guy that built Philadelphia and kept wrestling alive in this godforsaken city.” The crowd is oddly silent for a match featuring Perry Saturn. Saturn throws a beautiful array of suplays while the Guerreros bicker. Eddie suplexes Chavo outside the damn ring, a crazy bump. This is a good match. The crowd is totally bored, or maybe exhausted. On the hard camera side, two guys dressed like Hulk Hogan who been doing wacky dances all night sit down immediately when a leathery Philadelphia Guido comes over and visibly motherfucks them, jabbing his finger and yelling. Good for you, Guy Who Makes Me Think of Frank Rizzo, those guys were awful. We need an interruption, so the Filthy Animals come down for some reason. They beat up Saturn while Douglas, who has an arm in a cast, rages. “It’s a damn conspiracy here!” he yells. Eddie hits the frog splash on Saturn for the pin, and then Chavo Jr. hits a tornado DDT on his uncle to win. The crowd is confused and angry. The Filthy Animals storm the ring and beat up Chavo. No one cares. 

God, is there more to this episode? We are exhausted. It feels like we started watching this five hours ago. 

Oh God, Horace Hogan in a hardcore match? A WCW hardcore match in Philadelphia when ECW was still a living proposition. It’s going to be Horace vs. Norman Smiley. One of the Hogan impersonators is dancing again. Where is Frank Rizzo Guy when we need him? This match is boring and bad. Horace sets up a table and goes through it. Norman wins. No one cares.

WHEN IS THIS GOING TO END? Flair comes down to the ring. Ric, not David. Who cares where David is. Flair makes a somewhat tortuous analogy between himself and Bobby Clarke, the great thuggish Philadelphia Flyer from the 1970s. He talks about having sex with Kimberly Page earlier in the night. He compares his son, David, to Eric Lindros. A lot of hockey talk tonight. Flair says he drank the Guerrero Brothers under the table in every bar from Mexico to Philadelphia, a plausible claim. The Filthy Animals come out and beat on Flair, which the crowd hates. David runs out to help his dad, and also gets beat on. Rey Misterio hits the bronco buster on Ric Flair. Konnan rips off Flair’s shirt and takes his wallet. The Filthy Animals take Flair’s jewelry. “Well, it’s Philadelphia,” Heenan notes. 

Lex Luger stumbles on Miss Elizabeth, laid out in the women’s locker room, a broken guitar laying near her head. ELIAS? WAS THAT YOU, YOU SON OF A BITCH??

Goldberg comes to the ring, accompanied by security guards, while the crowd chants for him. One of the all-time greatest entrances in wrestling history. Somehow, this - Goldberg vs. Lex - is the main event, rather than Sting vs. Bret Hart. Goldberg runs outside the ring to start the match on the entrance ramp. Big “Goldberg” chants. This match is already way too long for a Goldberg match. Waaaaay too long. The Outsiders wander out from the back. “The fight goes on and on,” Tony says, summing up this whole ordeal. Now Sting runs out of the back for some reason and hits Goldberg with a baseball bat. The crowd boos. Now Bret Hart runs out of the back and starts beating up Sting. This is such a disaster. The crowd is pelting the ring with cups of soda. Goldberg spears Lex Luger and wins. 

Grade: Pot Roast That Has Been Left In The Sun For Days.

#Nitromare #WCW #1990s wrestling

[purelymaturelyfiction-blog]

The Dragons Flower

Rating: 18+

Universe: RWBY

Character: Yin (Male Yang) | Rin (Female Ren)

Yin was engrossed in a conversation, or debate, with his twin. “I’m telling you.. I could punch a Death Stalker so hard that it’s stinger would burst right off it’s tail.”

But Yang was having none of it. “Bull shit, there’s no way in hell you could gather enough power to do something like that.” And so it went on, all in fun though, as the pair were actually very close and got along on everything.

They just debated these things for the hell of it. So when Rin walked up behind Yin and lightly tugged on his sleeve, the blonde male turned around to see the quiet girl standing behind him.

Waving bye to Yang, he smiled at the dark haired girl. “Hey, cutie. Something I can help you with?”

Yin liked to flirt with her and she reciprocated. “Well, this skirt for one thing.” Of course, she was only partially joking. The piece of clothing did feel kind of tight today.

Most likely because she’d accidentally grabbed Joane’s instead of her own. Rin could blame Nore for that one.

Of course Yin knew she was joking. He’d never known Rin to be so forward with her advances. But he still wished it was more than just harmless flirting, and so did Rin.

“Well, play your cards right and I can make that happen.” He teased, winking at her. “How about we get going? Classes are about to start and I’d hate to ruin your attendance record.”

Rin giggled as the two headed off towards class, seeing Pyrrha and Joane ahead, the four went together arriving a few minutes late they took their seats.

Pyrrha sitting off to the side with Yang. Joane joining her brother closer to the front, while Yin and Rin sat together closer to the back. Despite her rather attentive attitude to learning, when Rin was with Yin, she tended to let out her more open and fun side.

Talking between themselves, half paying attention, Rin occasionally putting her hand over her mouth to muffle some giggles. “And when Cardin tried to take a swing, the weight of his weapon took him right into the wall.”

“And then what happened?” Rin replied, a big smile on her face.

“Well.. He got back up and the proceeded to fall backwards. Knocked himself out.” With the story finished, the pair actually went about paying attention to their lesson.

Taking notes, answering questions as best they could before class finally came to an end.

“We don’t have classes the rest of the day. Professor Port apparently had some problems rounding up something for his next lesson.. So, I was wondering if you had anything going on?” Yin asked the dark haired girl.

Looking thoughtful as they headed down the halls towards the outside world, Rin finally had a response. “Well, I think Joane, Nore and Pyrrhus are off studying in the library.. So we could always go hang out in our dorm room?” Her tone was one of uncertainty, as if the idea of being alone with him wasn’t something he wanted.

Quite the opposite.

“Yeah, sure, I wouldn’t mind. We do always have the most fun when we’re together.” The words having an underlying meaning that Yin didn’t notice but Rin did. Which caused the girl to blush a little bit.

“Y-You’re right, we always do.” Latching onto his arm, clinging tightly they both walked back across the Academy courtyard towards the dorms.

“So, any idea on what we can do? If I recall, the last time I was there.. Aside from Nore’s part of the room being a total mess, it was a rather desolate place. Just four beds and a few extra pieces of furniture.”

Rin wouldn’t deny her teams room didn’t have much going for it, but with all the space.. It would give her and Yin for room to- No.. Don’t think like that Rin... It’ll only set you up for heart break if he doesn’t feel the same way. “You’ll think of something, Yinny, you always do.” She replied.

Yinny? That was a new one. “No fair, I can’t come up with a cute name for you.. Well, seeing as your name is already cute as it is.”

That comment made her blush even brighter. “W-Well.. I’m sure you could come up with something..”

Yin honestly couldn’t try as he might. But the moment to passed as the pair reached her dorm room and, upon entering, Yin wasn’t surprised to see that almost everything was the same. Only difference was Nore’s mess was all cleaned up. “I see Nore cleaned up a bit.” He commented.

Rin, breaking off from him, commented in reply. “Well.. It was mostly Joane and I who did the cleaning.. Nore was too busy doing some after class work with Miss Oobleck.”

Yin walked about for a moment, standing between Pyrrhus and Joane’s bed looking out the window. Not really at anything in particular, just staring.

This was Rin’s chance... If she wanted him to know how she felt, the best way was to show him. Moving slowly up behind Yin, she tugged on his sleeve once more. Swallowing her fear, she braced herself.

Turning around, Yin was about to ask her something when he was cut off.

Rin had leaped up, so to speak since their height difference, wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing his lips to hers. Heart pounding in her chest. Partly because of the excitement she felt and partly because she was afraid he’d reject her.

But he didn’t. Instead, Yin wrapped his arms around her waist and hoisted her up. The woman wrapping her legs around his waist to help hold her up.

Pulling away from the kiss, Rin caught her breath. Licking her lips for a moment before looking at Yin. “I... I’m sorry.. I just-“ Her words cut off as the blondes lips pressed against hers once more.

Seems like Rin was the one who’d figured out what they could do. Slipping from his grip, she pushed him back on the bed before grabbing one of Nore’s socks, quickly rushing to the door. She tied the piece of clothing around the outside door handle. Locking the door. “Now no one will disturbed us.” She smiled rather sweetly, though beneath that innocent smile was a rather perverse young girl with plenty of ideas going through her head.

Walking back to Yin, hips swaying back and forth, she climbed over top of him, straddling the male beneath her. “So... Where would you like this to go... Yinny?” She teased, running her hands over his chest.

“With you? We could take this anywhere.” And with his words, Rika knew she could do anything with him.

“Will you be rough? Make me moan, scream even, for more and not stop?” Was this the real Rin? Was the quiet girl just a front for a more... Sexually hungry woman beneath? Yin would have to see for himself.

Yin simply nodded, though Rin might not have seen it as she lowered her head and lightly dotted his neck with kisses. Sucking at each spot she kissed, leaving a red mark.

He tried to use his hands, but every time Yin went to touch her, she’d lock her hands with his and hold them down against the bed. This went on for a bit until not a single part of his neck was untouched.

Pushing herself back up, still straddling him, she worked her top off and tossed it off. “Do you like what you see?” She asked, reaching down she began undoing his top before pushing it open. How she wondered what Yin looked like under his clothes.. And now she’d get to see. Every inch of his naked body. Running her hands along his bare chest, she lightly dragged her nails along the perfect looking skin, leaving red marks in their wake.

“Hmm... So... Still need me to help you out of that skirt?” He asked, teasing at her comment from earlier in the day which made Rin giggle.

“That depends... What will you do once you’ve gotten in off?” Rin replied.

Yin could tell her, but that would ruin the fun. So instead, with his own strength, he pushed her off of him and onto the bed before climbing over top of her. “Well.. First I’m going to do this,” A hand sliding along her soft skin until they hit the fabric of her skirt, to which he took a hold of them and, with the help of Rin lifting her hips, wiggled them off leaving her in her bra and panties. Though not for long.

Standing up, Yin didn’t feel it was quite right letting Rin be the only one in her underwear. So he quickly removed the belt from his pants letting them drop before kicking them off. Kneeling down, Rin watched him over her stomach. “And secondly...” His faced neared her womanhood. Biting at the lip of her panties, he slowly worked them off with his mouth until her silver laced panties were clear of her body.

Rin’s heart pounded in her chest. Back arching as she took ragged breaths of pleasure, imagining in her mind all the things Yin would do to her.

Bend her over on the bed. Fuck her from behind. Spank her. Bite her. Eat her out. Screw her brains out on every surface and against every wall of this room.

And right then, Yin would do one of those things. Licking up along her legs. Dotting kisses along the saliva trail, spreading them apart with his hands, the blonde continued further and further until his tongue grazed her womanhood, sending a wave of pleasure through her body. “Y-Yin..” She softly moaned.

Looking up at her, their eyes meeting, Yin didn’t stop his treatment. Tip of his tongue lightly grazing her entrance. Rin bit her bottom lip to stifle another moan.. Which was made harder as Yin pushed a bit of his tongue through the slit, lapping up her arousal. Yin pulled his hands away to take his underwear off. Rin took this chance to wrap her legs around his head, not wanting the pleasure to stop.

Fine with Yin. “Rin... You might want to hold on tight.” But before she could respond with a question or comment, Yin took her weight.. Which wasn’t much for his strong build and lifts up the lighter girl.

Grasping off for dear life, her thighs holding his head and legs draped down over his shoulders. Yin carried her to the nearest wall for support as the blonde continued to eat her out. Tongue worming around inside her, the tip flicking against her clit causing an outburst of pleasure from her mouth and legs squeezing a little tighter. She ran her hands through her hair. Groping her chest. Trying to find some ways to keep her hands occupied. “Y-Yess.. Mmm...” She moaned.

Her slender figure pressed up against the wall for the duration of this rather pleasurable treatment, Rin tapped the top of Yin’s head. “Y-Yin... S-Stop.. P-Please...” She panted, to which Yin obliged her before helping her down of his shoulders. “How... Did I taste?”

Yin didn’t know how to reply to that. How to describe it. “Why don’t you kiss me and find out?”

Rin immediately latched onto him. Lips pressed hungrily up against Yin’s. Her tongue grazing his lips, begging for entrance.

Lips parted, Yin’s own tongue met hers and the pair wrestled for dominance.

Yin’s hands explored her soft and slender figure while Rin’s own hands had a specific goal. Her left hand reaching around to grope his firm behind while her right one reached between his legs, taking a firm hold of the thick member that stood erect between them and began stroking it rapidly. Twisting her wrist, moving her hand in circles, Rin worked his member with ease, causing Yin to let out a moan into the kiss.

When she felt he was properly prepared, she pushed him away and shook her index finger. “Before we get started...” Walking pasted him, Yin watched as she walked over to her bed and bent over, exposing her behind while she looked through her bedside dresser before returning to Yin with something in hand. “Put this on.. Just in case.” She smiled. A condom held between her index and middle finger.

Had Rin been planning this? Why did she have that so readily available? Didn’t matter one way or another as she was down on her knees, slipping the lubricated sleeve over his shaft. Looking up at him the whole time. Yin didn’t know why, but the eye contact... Made the whole thing a whole lot hotter. “Mm.. Perfect. Now we’re ready to fuck.” She spoke very blunt and matter of fact. Getting back up, she grabbed hold of Yin’s hand and dragged him over to the bed. Which bed? Yin couldn’t remember as Rin shoved him back onto the bed before climbing into his lap and began grinding up against his member. “You’re so big...” She whispered to his ear, arms wrapped around his neck and breasts pressed against his chest as she rotated her hips in a perfect rhythm.

The motions were driving Yin crazy. Grabbing hold of her hips, the blonde arched his hips back just enough to position himself properly before thrusting up as hard as he could into Rin.

Her eyes went wide. Mouth hung open. And arms tightening around his neck as the blonde took extra pleasure in the way she clenched around his shaft. “Y-Y-Yes.. Yes yes yesssss...” Her moaned turned to a hiss of pleasure as she rode him, riding the motion of his thrusts.

Panting, she swung herself over, holding onto him still, bringing the male down on top of her. Perfect for him as this now gave him access to more of her.

Legs still wrapped around his waist, she squeeze his sides as tight as she could. “F-Fuuuck!” She screamed out.

Tilting his head to the side, Yin bit down on her shoulder. The bite hard enough to leave visible teeth marks.. But that didn’t matter to Rin as the act turned her on beyond belief. “Mm! Do it again!” She demanded, bucking her hips up into Yin, meeting his thrusts.

Tilting his head to the other side, Yin did the same thing to her other shoulder. Biting down, leaving a matching set of teeth marks. Her hands moving up under his arms, clawing at his back. Her nails sharp, cutting into his skin drawing small trickled of blood.

The pain of it didn’t bother Yin. It actually edged him on to go harder.

Several harsh thrusts and claw marks later and the two were in a different position. Rin on her side with one leg lifted up over Yin’s shoulder as she pounded into her. By now, Rin had removed the constricting bra from her chest tossing to some corner of the room. Her breasts bouncing with every motion of Yin’s thrusts.

“Yin! W-Why did I w-wait so... Fuck... So long?” Rin had wanted more from Yin. Wanted more than just friendship. Though.. She didn’t want a relationship with him.. They were better as friends. But... Fuck, after this how could she ever go back?

Arm wrapped around her leg, Yin dotted it with kisses and bites. Though this position only had so much going for it before Rin pushed Yin back with her feet onto the bed. The blonde comfortably landing on his ass before a new treatment started. One Yin had never experienced and that Rin had only tried now.

Feet crossed over his shaft, she started stroking it up and down. But.. Like the previous position, only had so much going for it. But that was definitely something he’d like to try again another time.

“Y-Yin... I... I don’t know how much more I can take...” Her words coming out in between breaths.

But Rin wasn’t done yet. She still wanted to take Yin from behind.

Getting off the bed, she walked around to the foot as Yin’s gazed followed her. “Yinny... Be a dear and come stand behind me, pretty please?”

Why would Yin even consider not doing as she asked. Rolling off the bed, the blonde stood up and stretched his body out, which Rin had to admit, his side profile was perfect.

Walking over to Rin, she backed up into him, grinding her bottom against his member. Rubbing it up and down, pressing herself back until he settled between her cheeks. She reached up and gently brushed her hand against his cheek, pulling him down for another kiss. This time it was softer, more passionate than the ones they had earlier.

Rin didn’t know how she felt about this, but she wanted to experience everything. “Yin...” She whispered, reaching up to his ear, “please be gentle when you enter me...” Nipping at his earlobe before bending over at the foot of the bed. Gripping the sheets tightly in her hands as she prepared her body for Yin.

Standing behind her, the blonde rubbed the tip of his shaft against the hole, using her juices as a natural lubrication. Hands holding tightly onto her hips, digging into her soft skin.. Both beings took a deep breath.

Rin as she prepared herself for the hardest fuck of the night. Yin because he was about to work himself into overtime, pushing his body to the limit while testing hers.

Without warning. Without preparation Yin thrust forward, slamming himself up into her. The resulting force of his thrust cause Rin to let out the loudest scream of their time together. Her mouth wide open with her tongue hanging out a Yin pulled back and began the real punishment. Thrust after thrust was sent into the small female.

Bed rocking. Body shaking,.. Rin didn’t know if she’d be able to last much longer. Yin had pushed every button. Hit every nerve. And fulfilled every sexual desire she had.. At least for now.

“I-I... I’m s-so c-close...” She moaned, the panting increasing as her heat rose. Her body hot and coated in sweat very much like Yin was as well.

Yin was glad, because he was just barely able to keep his legs from buckling beneath him. Chest rising and falling. Lungs burning. The urge to cum having hit him sooner than it had her.. But he kept it back. Waiting for Rin to finish first.

Body bouncing off of his, her nails had torn the sheets and dug into the mattress beneath. “Y-Yiiiiiiin!” She screamed out as her body gave way, releasing the hours of pent up sexual pleasure in one explosive finish. Her climax practically spraying against the bed and floor.

Yin let out a sigh of relief as he was finally able to release. Though it wasn’t as harsh as Rin’s, it was enough that he felt weight at the end of the condom as he pulled himself from her.

Both tired bodies crawling into bed, hearts slowly calming down as their breathing began to return to normal.

Yin was the first to speak. “So.. Who’s bed was this anyway?”

The question got a small laughed from Rin, “I think.. It was Pyrrhus’... But... I think... It’ll be mine now...”

The pair laughed for a few minutes before eventually calming down.

Rin curling up against Yin. Legs tangled with his, she gently kissed his chest.

“Yin... I... This. What we did here.. I loved it, but.. I don’t want to change our friendship...” She worried that Yin might think that just because they fucked like they did, that they were together.

“Don’t worry.. I understand and agree.”

It was a silent understanding, but the two would get together whenever they could from that day on.

#yang xiao long #lie ren #rwby #genderbent #+18 #mature

[evolutionsvoid]

The Lou Carcolh, or also known as Snail Dragons, are another prime example of how "dragons" are not an actual official family of creatures. As I have stated in previous entries, the term "dragon" is used for labeling or describing large, intimidating creatures that terrify locals and cause issues. The species that are indeed giant, reptilian monsters are referred to as "true dragons," as the regular dragons can refer to a conglomerate of species that vary wildly in anatomy, class and many other things. Grinning Dragons, Bone Dragons, Arctic Dragons and Snail Dragons all carry the label "dragon," but are so incredibly different from one another that even trying to link them together is silly. I mean, just in those four is a mollusk, a reptile, an insect and a mammal. Quite different indeed! Anyways, I bring this up because this entry is about the Lou Carcolh, which many like to call Snail Dragons. The Lou Carcolh live in temperate climates, setting up their homes in caves, tunnels, crevasses and other rocky structures. They are solitary creatures, only coming together during mating season. A Lou Carcolh prefers rocky terrain and a place that is either damp or receives a decent amount of rain. As a species, the Lou Carcolh do not need much to get by. They do not require a complex nest, nor a massive territory for hunting. Instead, they like to find a nice, rocky place to hide and then wait there for prey to come by. 

These large mollusks are ambush predators, catching prey that walk by their dens. When they wish to hunt, a Lou Carcolh will slowly crawl its way to a hidden spot. Some hide in the darkness in caves, some cling to sides of cliffs and crevasses, while some may even bury themselves in vegetation to hide their mass. Once properly hidden, they will snake their extremely long tendrils out into the open, hiding them in the foliage or blending them in with the rock around them. They will set their trap on trails and other places that show sign of activity and passage. There, their tangled net will lay, waiting for some poor sap to come trundling by. When prey steps amongst their tendrils, they will rise up and snare the creature in their sticky embrace. The tentacles of a Lou Carcolh have a natural adhesive and stiff hairs that allow them to trap smaller prey or properly hold larger, thrashing animals. When a victim is tangled in their grip, the Lou Carcolh will reel them back into their hiding place. The tendrils will bring them to their mouth, where they will inject them with paralyzing venom from their fangs. When prey is immobilized, the Lou Carcolh will seize them in their mouths and begin the slow process of feeding. Lacking powerful jaws for cutting and chewing, the Snail Dragons instead use a saw-toothed radula that takes up their entire lower jaw to slowly rasp away flesh. The backwards facing teeth help keep the victim in place and tear away at them as the Lou Carcolh works its jaw back and forth. Needless to say, being eaten by a Lou Carcolh is a long and painful process, as the victim is usually still alive. The venom only paralyzes your muscles, so it does not kill you instantly. Death will only come through asphyxiation or blood loss, and neither are all that great. The Lou Carcolh will continue to rasp away at its prey until it has broken down enough of them to swallow whole. After prey is consumed, they shall rest and digest for some time, before setting out their trap again. The trapping tendrils of a Lou Carcolh also aid in getting water, as there are small vessels that run throughout the tentacle. When thirsty, they will send their tendrils out to find puddles and pools. The appendages will submerge themselves and siphon water to the main body far away. That way Snail Dragons don't need to go out in the open to get a drink! Due to their large size and slow lifestyle, the Lou Carcolh can live for quite a long time. Some stories have claimed that certain specimens have been centuries old, growing to a size and strength that is impossible to slay. I have heard some tales that there are a few mountains out there that are notorious for causing travelers and climbers to vanish. They believe that a massive Lou Carcolh lives within the rock, sending out mile long tendrils to catch any who are foolish enough to climb its peak. Some even say that the mountain itself is there shell!   When it comes to reproduction, Snail Dragons are a bit different compared to other "dragons." The Lou Carcolh are hermaphroditic, possessing reproductive organs of each gender. This works to their advantage, as these creatures are quite slow when it comes to travel. When mating season occurs, the Lou Carcolh travel to find pheromone trails left by others in hopes of finding a mate. Since they are slow, this searching can take weeks until they find another of their kind. With that, you don't want the issue where you put all this time and effort only to find that you have tracked down an incompatible mate. Being hermaphrodites, any individual they find can do the job! So when two Snail Dragons come together, they do their courtship and then one (or both) of them fires a "love dart" into the other. These hardened, sharp "darts" are filled with sperm, and are how one Lou Carcolh fertilizes the other. They are located in the same region where the fangs are, developing prior to the mating season. When the time comes, the two shall do their dance and try to strike the other with this "dart." Whoever winds up getting embedded with this structure will be fertilized, allowing them to bear and lay eggs. In some cases, both wind up getting darted, so they both play the egg-laying role. Once the ritual is over, they part ways and head back to their hunting ground. The eggs will be laid beneath the soil and abandoned. The young that hatch will have to fend for themselves. Due to their large size and odd appearance, the Lou Carcolh are quite famous creatures to the locals. Certain rocky formations are named after them, especially if they look like a snail shell. There is a local vine that is called "carcolh tongue" due to its hairy, wandering tendrils that lay upon the ground. They are usually one of the first suspected when someone goes out to rocky areas and vanish, and many warn one another that "the carcolh will catch you!" The origins of the Lou Carcolh is also a popular tale in the region. The story goes that there was a time, long ago, when the dragons ruled the skies. The massive beasts were so plentiful, that they would blot out the sun for days on end. After years of darkness and destruction, one man decided to finally bring the monsters down. He donned his armor and crafted a great, mighty bow. With arrows the size of lances, he shot the dragons from the sky, causing them to plummet from the sky and splatter amongst the rocks. The dragons tried to slay him, but his abilities with his bow could not be beaten. Others took up weapons like his and they worked to clear the skies of these large creatures. During this massacre, there was a group of dragons who brought themselves to the ground, terrified of the lethal arrows. Seeking to avoid their own demise, they tore the wings from their backs and bound themselves forever to the earth. In time, they slowly became the Lou Carcolh, hiding in caves in fear of this mythical warrior. It is a fun story, but one that carries the same cliche every human tale has. For some reason, humans really like to act like they are the creators or cause of every living thing in this world. Every origin story centers around their actions. It's kind of weird. It's like how there are a large chunk of people out there that think that all of dryad kind was created by a lonely Mycomancer! It's ridiculous! (And it's also a tale I would not read to your saplings, because YIKES!)   Another thing that makes the Lou Carcolh infamous to the region is their "love darts." The large stinger-like reproductive organs are things people have a hard time understanding, and they also create some bizarre scenarios. There was a time, a while back, when people thought that the Lou Carcolh abducted virgins and used their "love darts" to impregnate them with their larvae (That is also another thing that shows up in a lot of human tales: monsters doing naughty things to others. Makes you wonder who comes up with this stuff.). It was also seen as the ultimate sign of humiliation for those who hunted the Carcolh. Since the "love dart" is situated in the mouth, those who get near its fangs or struggle in its grip may accidentally set it off. It has been said that those warriors who have accidentally been shot with this dart during battles usually wander off into the woods, never to be seen again. They apparently were too ashamed to show their faces ever again. The other thing their "love darts" are famous for is outsiders not realizing what they are. Days after the mating process, the "love darts" are pushed out of the body and discarded on the ground. Travelers have stumbled across these strange things and see them as potential weapons. They are barbed, dagger-sized and lightweight, so a little modification would turn them into a decent knife. These travelers would then show up in town and show off their new blade, which would cause every citizen to nearly die of laughter. The terms and names they call these people who wield them are not appropriate, and I cannot write them in here but trust me when I say they are quite colorful and descriptive. It has become a gag for certain locals to craft weapons out of "love darts" and sell them to ignorant travelers, so that they can chuckle behind their backs. They just love the idea of oblivious people walking around with these, thinking they are legitimate weapons and unaware of their origin. Funny enough, I actually do own one of these dart-knives, but I was aware of it when I bought it. I have always thought they were quite interesting and I always wanted to own one. In order to avoid the embarrassment, I told the man who was selling them that I knew what they were but wanted to buy one regardless. I told him that I had "always wanted one" in which he replied to me with a "oh yeah I bet you do," which resulted in a broken nose and a free knife. Despite the comments during the purchasing process, I quite like the blade and it is quite nifty. Though I must warn those who ever think of owning one, make sure you pay attention to which knife you are using for any task you do. When I was staying with some colleagues one time and it was my turn to serve dinner. When it came to cutting up the roasted chicken, I used the knife I had on hand to carve. It took me a second to realize why they were looking at me with such disgusted, horrified looks. Needless to say, no one ate the chicken that night. Chlora Myron Dryad Natural Historian ------------------------------------------------------------ A mythical creature that is a fusion of a snail and a snake?! Where has that been all my life?!     And yowzas that last paragraph was not intended when I first started writing this, but it was way too funny for me to pass up. Sorry there, folks.

#snail #mollusk #mythical beasts #monster #creature #lou carcolh #art #drawing #mythical creatures