#I actually have another set in mind too but I am simply Too Tired For That

[barefoothighlander]

spillways - panic

-simon 'ghost' riley x fem!reader

-warnings: mentions of ptsd, angst, bit ooc!ghost

-word count: 1.5k

-summary: after a year of working loosely alongside the 141, you are deployed on your first ground mission. trying to navigate having to work with a team and your lieutenant who seems set on getting a rise out of you.

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a/n: alright so I'm planning on making this a slow burn, we'll see how long that lasts, I'm trying so hard to be normal about ghost but at the same time I can't so, here you go. :)

I wonder to myself, 

could life ever be sane again?

You thrust yourself awake, alarm bells ringing in your head, something was wrong, something felt off. Faced with the darkness of your bedroom you shift your weight to glance around, nothing out of place, no noises aside from the occasional car alarm, but the buzzing, the buzzing was loud. Your head filled with the buzzing that seemed to have no end and no beginning, turning over you see the time, 3:44 am, staring back at you with that obnoxious, bright red gleam, sighing to yourself 2 hours of sleep isn’t so bad. 

Raising yourself from the bed you’re met with a cold breeze shit, the window was open, striding towards the wall to close it with a loud thud, you hated this apartment, it was old, nothing worked, and the floors creaked under any sort of movement, it didn’t feel like home. You manage the strength to walk to the kitchen and turn on a lamp, growing accustomed to residing in low light, rarely did you ever have your space fully illuminated. You pour yourself a cup of coffee and begin your day, you didn’t have much to do around the apartment considering the only thing on your agenda was to show up to base for deployment, but you still had 4 hours to kill. You occupied yourself with meaningless tasks, tidying the living space even though it had barely anything in it, you had bought the apartment 3 years ago but spent less than 9 months actually living there, it was simply a means of habitat between deployments. Truthfully you don’t know what to do with yourself if you aren’t off in some desert, or mountain range on a mission.

Finally, the clock read 7:15, you figured you had waited an adequate amount of time pacing around the apartment, so you got dressed in some casual clothes that were appropriate for any form of the tactical situation, grabbed your bag and left for the base. You made the drive often enough that it felt like your brain was on autopilot, muscle memory telling you where to turn and when. But you were right, something was off, the buzzing in your head was persistent, and your thoughts ran rampant, usually, you were halfway decent at getting your mind to quiet down, focusing it on whatever task you were assigned, but without some sort of obstacle, you found anxiety begin to bubble in your stomach. You weren’t nervous, not for a standard op, you had run through missions like this a handful of times, and you knew what to expect, what you needed to do, this was something else. Were you nervous to work directly with the 141? You had been assigned a posting with them for a little over a year now, but you never worked with them, only ever as the eye in the sky, providing aid only when deemed necessary, this time you would be on the ground with them, working with them, surviving with them.

Your thoughts occupied your time, and when you reached the base you felt like you had only been driving for 5 minutes. 7:47, enough time to sneak in, you weren’t close with the team, not like how they were with each other, they often invited you to the local pub after a successful mission but you always declined, giving them some excuse along the lines of you being too tired to stay out, most of the time they wouldn’t argue, but you could always feel a gaze staring daggers at the back of your head when you decided to not spend time with them. They meant well, you could tell, but you weren’t looking for another person to ask about your history, or why you joined the force, and you certainly weren’t looking for any sympathy, reducing yourself to a life of seclusion outside deployment.

You made your way to the briefing room, stunned to see that almost everyone was already there, everyone except one person, the only other person who found any sort of comfort in the shadows alongside you, the Ghost. Price waited another few minutes while the guys entertained themselves, recalling a few drunken stories they found amusing, Soap explaining to Gaz why he’s banned from 6 separate pubs in Manchester alone. At 7:56 you saw the door open, and the unmistakable mask breeze in, he was hard to miss, tall and broad, but quiet, always quiet. He found his place near the back of the room, settling himself to lean against a desk.

Turning your attention to Price, trying to focus on the information he was presenting, something about a cartel, and illegal weapons trading in Mexico. You couldn’t focus, not with the buzzing in your head, you tried your best, Ghost noticing the way you constantly adjusted your stance to try to hear Price better. Finally, the brief ended, and you could barely remember a thing the Captain had said aside from “meet at the heli deck 1600 hours.” Inching forward to grab a folder from the table so you could actually study what the assignment was, you felt a strong hand grab your elbow. Glancing up, Ghost was there, invading your space.

“You alright Sargeant?”

“Fine Leuitenent, why?”

“You seem agitated or something” He releases his grip on your elbow as he feels your muscles tense.

“Just tired, didn’t sleep well”

“I know the feeling, go rest, you have time” is all he says, and then he leaves.

You stop for a minute, fiddling with the edges of the folder in your hands, the buzzing is gone is all you can think, as you turn around to catch a glimpse of him, but he’s gone. 

For the first time today, your thoughts are clear, no alarm bells, no buzzing, there’s clarity, and you don’t know why. You chalk it up to the difference in humidity, or atmosphere around the base. But even in the clarity, you can’t sleep, you tried, laying down on your cot for nearly an hour, trying to will your body to rest, but it was useless, it’s hard to rest when you’re always in survival mode. Instead, you decide to take your efforts to the gym on base, choosing to put your thoughts to some use and beat the hell out of a punching bag.

Your knuckles are sore, your legs are cramping up, and you can begin to taste iron in your mouth, but none of these stop you. You continue your assault on the oversized bag of sand, forcing every ounce of energy into your punches and kicks.

“Thought I told you to rest” You didn’t hear him come in, but now, standing directly behind you, he’s hard to miss.

You keep facing away from him, centring the bag in front of you. “Couldn’t, thought my time was better spent here”

“You defied a superior's orders then?”

“A suggestion and an order are different Leuitenent”

“You always talk back? Tsk, that’s bad manners love” he asks, raising his arm to settle the bag in front of you, almost commanding your attention.

You turn to face him, finding his body much closer than you thought, you crane your neck to look into his eyes, they’re shrouded in black paint, his face concealed by the skull. 

“You don’t intimidate me, sir”

“Why not, every other bloke on this base is terrified of me,” he says leaning down a little, enough so that you can feel the warmth of his breath over your cheek.

You press your lips to his covered ear, making sure he hears you loud and clear.

“I see right through the mask,” you say, as you pull yourself back to stare into his dark eyes, and for a moment, you swear you see the telltale signs of a smile from the crinkles that form beside his eyes.

“I’ll see you on deck Sargeant” is all he says, striding away from you and down the hallway.

You stand there, breathless, you’ve never spoken to anyone that way, let alone a superior officer, but you won’t let him scare you, at the end of the day he’s just another man, made of flesh and bone, he bleeds the same colour as the rest of them.

You return to your shacks to rinse off whatever sweat you worked up. Stepping out and checking the time, 3:30, shit, how long was I in the shower for. Quickly gathering your necessary equipment for travel you make your way to the deck, only to be greeted by the loud whirring of helicopter blades, and the booming laughter of one Soap Mactavish.

“Ye ready for some fun lass?” Soap asks placing a firm hand on your shoulder.

Before you get the chance to respond Ghost once again appears out of nowhere.

“No time to waste, get packed in”

Soap glances at you but your eyes are set firm on the Leuitenent, while little feelings of anger begin to form in your chest. Removing his hand from your shoulder, Soap steps into the heli and seats himself next to some of the other guys. You situate yourself near the back of the carrier, far enough that no one would attempt to make conversation with you. To your dismay, Ghost plants himself directly next to you, close enough that your knees are forced to touch. You’re willing him to move, and he doesn’t spare a glance in your direction. 

This is gonna be a long ride.

#simon ghost riley #simon riley fluff #simon riley #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #ghost cod #ghost fluff #ghost smut #ghost x reader #simon riley x you #cod mw2 #ghost mw2 #mw2022 #simon riley angst #ghost angst #simon riley smut #simon ghost riley x you #call of duty mwii #simon ghost riley angst #cod mw x reader #call of duty #ghost simon riley

[sencubussubs]

Robotic Affirming

Hi lovelies!

Let’s talk Robotic Affirming! Robotic affirming is a manifestation method that works using repetition to replace assumptions and beliefs:

Key principles: (to any method / during manifestation)

- Repetition

- Saturation

- Persistence

- Discipline

Understanding Robotic Affirming:

Robotic affirming works by mindlessly affirming all throughout the day. You do not need to feel it real or visualise, you are simply repeating a (preferably short) affirmation over and over to saturate your mind and replace previous dominant thoughts / assumptions you held.

Saturating your mind is how you create new beliefs. Whether you work with affirmations or states, you saturate your mind with the decision you are making to change.

Ways to robotically affirm:

1. Mindlessly affirming for set periods of time or at any moment that you do not need to be focusing on something (like work or school). Mindless / robotic just means you are repeating the affirmation without thinking about it or needing to feel emotion

2. 10 minute method/ Power affirming: set a timer for ten minutes in which you only repeat your affirmation(s) (1-2). Do not focus on anything else, just your affirmations.

3. SATS affirming: if you struggle with visualisation you can also robotically affirm yourself to sleep :) just repeat the affirmations over and over, don’t think too hard about it. I like to count and affirm “1 I am *affirmation*. 2. I am *affirmation*. 3. i am *affirmation*” and so on.

When working with robotic affirmations it is best to work with 1-2 max 3 affirmations at a time, as it is just easier to remember and repeat less affirmations. Over time (not a long time) you will find yourself automatically start to affirm when you are not doing anything/ randomly thinking of your affirmations! it makes affirming feel far more normal.

Tip: if you get distracted easily, or to make it fun, use a counter app and see how many times you can affirm in the 10 minutes (or longer!).

Persistence as with any manifestation is key. If you have thoughts that pop up that don’t align with your affirmations, do not just allow them to sit and complain in your head. Those thoughts are irrelevant to who you now are deciding to be. It takes discipline to create new assumptions - but not a long time (unless you continuously assume it does). If an unfavourable thought pops up, take a deep breath and remember, this does not align with you anymore. it is irrelevant.

E.G.

my affirmation is: I have 5 thousand dollars in my bank account.

thought pops up: Man I am so broke.

Response: No, actually i know that i have five thousand dollars in my bank account so that thought is so irrelevant to me. *let the thought through and then move on! Do not let negative thoughts stress you out. you are doing everything right!*

Finding your strengths

not everyone will enjoy robotic affirming, they may find it tiring to affirm all the time and that’s fine. For me it is a simple and healthy habit that keeps my mind busy on positive saturation in time periods where typically negative thoughts may pop up!

For some visualisation and states may be tiring! So maybe this will suit you :)

Remember that it is not your affirmations that manifest, it is you. You are using the affirmations to change your subconscious beliefs - even if you don’t believe the affirmations, the repetition and saturation will train your mind - unless you spend all the time counter-affirming about “oh it is not working”, it is literally only not working because you are deciding it isn’t….

Also i really do not care if another content creator states “erm robotic affirming doesn’t work”, it may not have ‘worked’ for them but it has worked time and time again for others! As always, do not let one’s experience dictate what can and cannot work for you.

Here are some content creators I like that use and talk about robotic affirming :

- Sammy Ingram

- Your Thoughts Create

- Rita kaminski

- Manifesting with kimberly

- Alex Khan

you can find all of them on youtube :) Remember not to over-consume! It will not help you.

As a final note i want to remind you that manifestation is not a process it is a decision. You are not affirming to get something, you are affirming as a reminder to yourself of what is already yours. As you saturate your mind with this it becomes an undeniable fact to your mind and as such the 3D will reflect it.

Have anymore questions about robotic affirming or anything else law of assumption? Feel free to send a dm or an ask, my messages are always open <3

Love,

Saph

#law of assumption #manifestation #manifesting #loassblog #loassumption #sencubus #loa #conscious manifesting #manifestation technique #manifestation techniques #robotic affirmations #robotic affirming #affirmations #loass affirmations #law of assumption affirmations #law of assumption techniques #law of assumption method #law of assumption tumblr #law of assumption blog

[foxcantswim]

Who Are You? Chapter 4 || F!Reader x Wanda Maximoff

Y/N is in love with Wanda... But Wanda is in love with Spider Noir. The thing is, Y/N and Spider Noir are the same person - But Wanda doesn't know that. Y/N has a secret identity to uphold. (Everyone lives AU - Set after DS:MoM)

F!Spider!Avenger!Reader x Wanda Maximoff/Scarlet Witch

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3

Chapter 5

Words: 3.2k

Tags/Warnings: Fluff, Angst, Slight Injury, Jealous Wanda, KatexYelena if you squint, Identity Reveal(?)

You and Wanda were waiting in the break room an hour before you were due to leave for patrol, you were resting up as much as you could... Well, as much as you could with a pair of chaotic assassins around.

"Are you ready for your patrol...?" Yelena trailed off.

You nodded, "Noir."

"Noir," she nodded with a hum, "Mysterious. I like it."

Wanda was shooting daggers at the blonde, her eyes burning into the back of her head.

"First you harass Y/N yesterday, and now Noir?" Natasha laughed as she entered the room.

"I am not harassing!" Yelena exclaimed, clearly offended.

"Why don't you go bother that Bishop girl instead?" her sister suggested.

You quickly interrupted, "If it means anything, I don't mind her being here."

Yelena smirked in victory, "See! I am a delight to be around. I am simply making conversation." You couldn't help but laugh.

Natasha raised her hands up in surrender, "Okay. You got me."

"Are you guys usually up at this time?" you questioned them both.

The pair nodded, "Yes. My sleep schedule is a bit errrr... non-existent," Yelena answered, Natasha quickly agreed.

"I'm kind of concerned," you replied.

"I've been trying to get Yelena to sleep," another voice caught your attention, "But she flat out refuses."

"Kate Bishoooop!" Yelena exclaimed, walking over to the girl, "So nice of you to join us."

"I knew you would be up to something so I came to put a stop to it," Kate replied, her eyebrow raised.

The blonde rolled her eyes, "Why does everybody assume I'm up to no good? I'm the innocent one here."

You introduced yourself to the young archer before Natasha moved in to greet her, too.

As Natasha and Kate hugged, you turned towards the table and grabbed a water bottle before swiftly lifting up your mask slightly - you took a couple long gulps of water before placing the bottle back down.

A certain blonde assassin raised an eyebrow towards you once you lowered your mask, "Huh..." she said.

"W-What?" you said, nervously.

"Nothing," Yelena laughed to herself.

You were about to question her but Yelena quickly turned back towards Kate. Natasha decided to back her sister up, "For once, she isn't actually causing any trouble."

"Well, that's good," Kate nodded, "I'm impressed."

"I am reformed," she grabbed Kate's hand and kissed the back of it before dragging the girl towards the door, "We're off to train. Time to show baby hawk how I fight when she doesn't have any trick arrows up her sleeve."

"Er- Lena I'm not sure-"

"Good luck with patrol!" Yelena exclaimed over her shoulder, Kate was crying for help as they disappeared down the hall.

Natasha cleared her throat, "I should probably go after them. Yelena doesn't exactly hold back."

"Have fun," you replied, silently wishing you could see the sparring session. Natasha made her leave.

You glanced over at Wanda who was sitting at a small table in the corner, you approached her with a smile - even though she couldn't physically see you smile.

"Hello, Noir," she greeted, taking a careful sip of her hot drink.

"Hey, little witch," you replied, taking a seat next to her, "Why do you look so blue?"

She sighed, "No reason. I guess I'm just a little tired."

You nudged her shoulder, "We're in this together, you and me."

Wanda smiled at your response. She was glad that you were with her tonight.

You and Wanda had officially made it to 11pm. Both of you were nervous and excited to find out what would happen tonight despite already being extremely tired.

"Good luck out there," Tony slapped on your back, "Wanda. You're in charge," he looked towards the witch.

"I-I am?" she asked, shocked.

You glared at Tony before nudging him, "Am I not good enough for you, old man?"

"No," he simply said before walking away, he looked over his shoulder and smirked towards you.

"I hate you," you muttered before turning to Wanda.

Tony called before he left the room, "Jane and Sam are on call if you need backup tonight. Your shift ends at 5am." He soon exited the room, leaving both you and Wanda alone.

As much as you wanted to go out with Wanda for the night, the fact that you had to stay out till that time was starting to put you off.

Wanda smiled, "Ready to go?"

You nodded, "Yep. Here's hoping I can make it to five in the morning," a sigh managed to escape you, "At least if I do end up falling asleep you won't know because of the mask," you motioned towards your face.

"Oh, I'll know if you fall asleep," Wanda assured before heading towards the door, you were quick on her heels.

"And how is that?"

"I can read minds, remember?"

A nervous laugh escaped you, "Then why have you never read mine? You can find out who I am just like that."

She sighed as you two exited the building, "I can't lie to you. I have tried."

A wave of relief washed over you, "I'm assuming the blockers actually work, then?"

"Blockers?" she asked before ascending into the sky.

"Yes. Blockers. The day after I met Stephen, I asked if he could help me out with keeping my identity even more of secret," you had to run across the grass as there were no buildings to attach to, the trees in the distance would be your only choice to latch on, "I'm surprised you didn't try before that."

Wanda's voice turned sour, she called down to you, "So Stephen knows who you are and I don't?"

"No! Stephen doesn't know! He helped me with the blockers in my head and he didn't need to know my identity to do that. I promise, he doesn't know."

Wanda had a scowl on her face, but it quickly dropped as she sighed, "Y-Yeah, sorry," she realised that she was working herself up.

"It's okay," you understood. You knew that Wanda would be extremely upset if anyone found out your identity before she did, "You know you'll be the first to know who I really am."

Wanda couldn't stop the smile from appearing on her face, "Thank you, Noir."

The two of you finally made it to the treeline, meaning you could join Wanda up in the sky using your webs. You did your best to stay by her side as much as you could, but of course she had to make it a competition as she slowly flew a little higher.

"Wands!" you groaned, "That's not fair!"

"I guess you're just beneath me, Noir," she smirked.

"I'll beat you one day, little witch!" you exclaimed, trying to zip as fast as you could towards the city - Making it a race between you and the Scarlet Witch.

Well. Wanda won. But you chose to ignore that fact.

The moonlight illuminated Wanda's face as you watched her instead of the city down below. The pair of you had taken a seat on a relatively high building in order to watch the streets down below, your legs dangling off the edge of the rooftop. There was plenty of chatter coming from drunk girls leaving a club, a few guys were following them - a wolf whistle was thrown, a punch arrived in the man's face in return. But it was definitely not an Avengers level threat to break apart some petty drunk teenagers. They all sprinted off round the corner, giggling and laughing amongst themselves.

"Did you ever go out to clubs?" you decided to ask.

Wanda shook her head, "No, not really. I've went to a bar here and there with the Avengers but... I had to grow up fast. I didn't have time for clubs."

"Well... Maybe we could go together one day?"

A laugh escaped Wanda, "With you dressed like that?"

You nudged her shoulder with a scoff, "Obviously not! I mean when I reveal my identity, little witch."

"So you're planning on it, then?" Wanda asked, hopefully.

"I'd be lying if I said the thought hadn't crossed my mind these past few weeks," you sighed, looking back down at the street below, "I can't tell you when I will be ready, though."

"Take your time," she sighed in response, she understood you despite not liking the idea of having to wait for so long.

"I mean it when I say you will be the first to know, I promise."

"I know," Wanda completely trusted you at this point. All you had to do was not let her down...

A loud scream caught both of your attentions, your heads flicking over towards the source. It was coming from a few blocks away.

"You did say that a Saturday night wouldn't be a walk in the park," you laughed before standing, you offered Wanda a hand which she thankfully took. Her hand didn't stay in yours for long as she pulled it away almost immediately.

Wanda cleared her throat before stepping closer towards the edge of the roof, "At least this will wake us up, hm?"

The pair of you quickly leapt off the building, wasting no time in making your way towards the commotion.

Thugs. A lot of them.

They had taken a few people hostage within a bank, trying their best to break into the vaults. These civilians looked familiar to you... Ah yes, they were the people leaving the club only moments ago. They were being leverage. There were three thugs inside, and a couple more on the outside - guns in their hands.

"Child's play," you scoffed, looking around the corner towards the bank. You had dealt with plenty of robberies in the past. Nothing you couldn't handle.

"Don't get ahead of yourself," Wanda warned from beside you.

Of course, you didn't listen. You immediately dashed around the corner and flung yourself towards the door, "I got this," you called back.

"Noir, wait-!" And of course, you were gone. Wanda was already in the process of calling for backup... She knew that you weren't going to be reasonable about this situation.

"Come on, guys! We can talk this out!" you exclaimed, approaching the group slowly.

"Back off, Spidey!" a tall man shouted from just outside the front door, a gun pressed to the side of the woman's head ,"You come any closer, and I won't hesitate to shoot."

You raised your hands up, "Hey, hey... Woah... I just wanna talk-"

"You're in no position to be making demands," another man said, this one slightly shorter than the last.

"You know you won't be allowed to leave after this, right?" you questioned.

The woman in the man's grasp began to sob, her eyes clenched shut, "Stop squirming, or-!"

You cut the first man off, "If you do anything to hurt her, you'll regret it."

"I'd like to know what you even plan on doing," the man simply scoffed.

"Noir!" Wanda exclaimed from behind you.

Your spider senses tingled at the sound of Wanda's voice. You quickly turned around and were greeted with even more threats. This time, a woman came up to you, "If I were you, I would leave," she said.

You were effectively surrounded.

That was when a flash of red entered your vision.

The woman in front of you had been hurled onto the ground, the other people thrown to the sides away from you, "I told you to wait!" Wanda exclaimed with anger, quickly running towards you. She manged to grab you just in time, she held her hand out and blocked the stray bullets that were being fired at you from the bank.

"Stop!" someone shouted from inside, "You want the whole police department on us?!" he shouted, his voice angry. The firing ceased. The people who were behind you had scattered, some running towards the bank - others running away down the streets, probably fearing that they would get caught.

Your spider senses tingled once again. There was still someone... a beeping noise soon filled your ears.

"Move!" you exclaimed, suddenly realising what it was. You pushed Wanda as far away from you as you could, the red shield in front of you flickered away.

The woman from before had stuck around and thrown a grenade, a red light was pulsating on the top of it as it rolled towards you.

The last thing you saw was Wanda's scared expression as she sat up from the dusty ground.

A red bubble had formed in front of Wanda on instinct, managing to block any debris from the blast of the grenade from hitting her, "You idiot!" she cried, letting the shield drop once the dust had settled. She stood up, her eyes a flaming red.

"One down. One to go," the woman chuckled.

Wanda didn't even let her approach, she was quickly hit with a strong blast of red magic - sending her into a nearby brick wall.

Wanda placed a finger to her ear in an instant, "Send Sam. Noir needs evac. I still have business to handle." She turned towards the bank and held her hands out, she grabbed a hold of everyone's guns and threw them to the ground. She sent a wave of magic out, knocking everyone to the ground - she made sure not to hurt the hostage in the crossfire.

After a few moments, the comms came to life, "Don't do anything reckless, Wanda," Steve spoke, "Get Noir to a safe space and let the others handle things." Wanda scoffed. If anyone was reckless, it was you. Not her.

The loud engines of a truck echoed through the streets, the noise grew closer and closer by the second.

"Wanda," Steve warned, "Back up is on the way. Get Noir to a safe position so evac can do their job."

Wanda made sure to grab hold of the woman who was taken hostage, lifting her up and away from the men. She shrieked as she was quickly pulled towards Wanda, "Get out of here. Everyone else will be fine," Wanda assured, releasing the woman onto the ground.

"T-Thank you!" she exclaimed before running away.

"Wanda!" Steve exclaimed once again.

"Okay!" Wanda shouted, pure anger fuelling her.

That was when her eyes landed back on your shattered, clearly unconscious form.

She pushed her anger aside, her eyes watering as she lifted you into her arms, her breathing was erratic, "Come on, Noir. Don't you dare go dying on me." She was trying to convince herself that everything was going to be fine. That you were going to be fine.

Wanda managed to haul you up as she flew into the air, making her way towards the roof of a nearby building - away from the danger below. She eventually collapsed onto the rooftop with you still in her arms, your head was rested down against her lap.

"Noir? Come on, Noir," she shook your shoulder gently, but still no response. Panic quickly started to set in. A shaky hand came up towards you neck, her goal was check your pulse to make sure you at least had an acceptable heartrate.

Her fingers pushed up your mask, just enough to be able to find your pulse. After a few moments of searching, Wanda sighed with relief.

That was when she realised just how close she was to you, her fingers remained on your pulse for a lot longer than necessary. It was almost comforting to know that you were still breathing, but then the thought of you being unconscious was enough to make Wanda tense up.

She moved her hand away and grabbed the bottom of the mask in order to pull it down... But she froze.

She could find out who you were. Right here, right now. All she had to do was lift up that mask a little more. And then she would finally be happy.

However, she was beginning to have an argument with herself. Lift the mask, don't lift the mask, lift, don't lift, lift- Her head started to pound. She could already picture the disappointment and distrust you would feel if she did in fact lift that mask up. But surely you would end up forgiving her in the long run? Right?

Without thinking, her fingers gripped the bottom of the mask tight and lifted ever so slightly. Wanda's heart began to beat erratically.

Was she really about to find out who you were?

Wanda continued before a sudden flash of lightning caused her to flinch, the sky lit up blue for a brief moment. On instinct, she pulled the mask back down - fully covering your neck once again. A disappointed sigh escaped her.

"Someone call for the Goddess of Thunder?" heavy footsteps landed behind her.

A jealous wave hit Wanda immediately.

"I thought Sam was supposed to be coming instead?" she cleared her throat, looking over her shoulder towards the blonde.

Jane nodded, "He thought it would be best if I carried Noir back to the compound. What with me being a lot stronger and faster, we both thought it would be the right choice. He's down there handling the last couple of goons, Tony too," she looked over the edge of the building, "And by the looks of things... It seems like they could use your help."

Reluctantly, Wanda allowed Jane to pick Noir up - the blonde managed to hold you tight over her shoulder with one hand. The other hand gripped Mjolnir hard.

"Okay," Wanda sighed as she stood, "Just... get her to the medbay as soon as possible."

"Yes, ma'am," Jane smiled before flinging herself upwards and flying off into the distance.

Wanda couldn't help but glare as Jane flew away with you. There was just something about certain blondes that she didn’t like.

You were awoken by bright lights. Your muscles ached, your breathing laboured.

Upon glancing around, as your vision came back, you realised that you were in the medbay. The lighting on the ceiling was unnecessarily bright, you immediately felt a banging headache coming on - you suddenly remember getting hit in the back of the head, the throbbing pain soon returned.

You were completely alone within the medbay. At least... you thought you were.

"Well, well, well..." a familiar voice filled your ears, "You are extremely reckless, Y/N."

You reached a hand up, your fingers felt the material of the mask still covering your face. That was when you started to panic, a shaky breath escaped you as you turned towards the intruder.

You did the one thing you didn't want to do. You let Wanda down. Because someone other than her had found out your secret identity before she did.

I hope you all have a pleasant day!

Tag list:  @screechcat ; @princess-kennys-rats ; @lissaaaa145 ; @maris-astrum ; @marvelogic ; @moonliqhtszn ; @charl-lally ; @an-evergreen-rose ; @almosttoopizza​ ; @daenerys713​ ; @yenmaximoff​ ; @lezzbehonesturhaught​ ; @angryraisin​ ; @capswife​ ; @localarcherwriter​ ; @wandaslittlewhore​ ; @wandanatstan​ ; @wizardofstories​ ; @justyourwritter69​ ; @m-h-r-h​ ; @fxckmiup​ ; @paaandiculations​ ; @kacka84​ ; @darling-im-the-queen-of-hell​ ; @mymommawanda​ ; @amessbian​ ; @cmfouatslota77​ ; @lol1415lol (not tagging properly :c)

If I left anyone out, I’m sorry! Love you all!

#wanda maximoff #wanda x reader #scarlet witch #scarlet witch x reader #elizabeth olsen #elizabeth olsen x reader #kate x yelena #kate bishop #yelena belova #natasha romanoff #jane foster #marvel

[miaurri]

Insane yapping incoming

I would've drawn this out but obviously I'm too tired 😭

This is just me explains Kayo more thoroughly as a character. Despite how I draw her thirsting over Mizu 23/7 Kayo actually has a very complicated relationship with women in general. She sees herself as being better than most women due to her negative experiences with them growing up

Kayo became an assassin for a reason, she is a capable fighter as she is a spy. She doesn't want to hide the fact she's a woman while doing all of that because she's "better than the others". Essentially detaching herself from the women she was surrounded with

Easily, I can boil it down to her having a "not like other girls"'s phase but that can't cover everything. Kayo's main theme as a character is a nature vs nurture effect and she could've been someone entirely different. Like Mizu she grew up with people viewing her as a freak. The women around her life struggle as well (her mother was a Chinese immigrant that ended up in Japan and then her Oiran sister figure that was struggling to make money) but they also had their shitty moments

If I were to say what would be Kayo's version of the "who betrayed Mizu" theory it would be something like "who failed Kayo". Both women tried their best to raise her properly but due to outside surroundings Kayo simply was "set up to fail". Being sold off by her mother after her brother's death and having her "sister" leave her once she were "old enough" to handle being on her own. Kayo's two supportive female figures had given up on her when it came to her fascination with violence

oh yeah- the theme with violence, Kayo growing up majority in the red light district was subject to the idea of Shinju or the act of selfharm as love. Low clas oirans at the time period would perform self harm as a sign of love and dedication for her customers but some of the smart ones would pay off grave robbers to find a body and chop off a piece of their limbs for them to use. This was because men at the time period would be sold to the idea of a woman being so infatuated by them and blah blah blahhhh 🤓☝️

Keeping it brief cause I wanna talk more bout her love language in another post perhaps soon but for Kayo it's just hard for her to trust women the same way she could trust a man. Which is why when she met Mizu she was just as infatuated as she was curious. Something about Mizu was off and Kayo didn't knew what could it be. Then she finds out this man has tits and also has a forest down there and realized oh shit that's a woman-

her first immediate gut reaction was jealousy cause "how could another woman be a strong fighter?? Why is she so strong am I not?" putting herself against Mizu more critically. Kayo obviously is still damaged by her past when it came to women, she can barely take most of the women who confront her seriously but overtime as she spends more time with Mizu (and possibly with Akemi too cause the girl needs more female companionship-) Kayo would see women in a different light

While Akemi finally has a supportive female friendship system Kayo needs time to open up again toward women. After being constantly hurt and lied too it's no wonder why Kayo would rather work for men like Heiji or Fowler. Keep in mind though Kayo isn't hateful with women, she won't call them names but her empathy for them is a bit lower. She has a hard time opening up and being traditional feminine in a safe environment

Paraelling with Mizu- Mizu has a masculine/androgynous built but there'll always be that hint of soft femininity in her even if it's only few. Kayo on the other hand is physically very feminine but the way she carries herself natural is more masculine leaning. Mizu and Kayo are just as different as they are equal to one another.

TLDR: Kayo was let down by the women in her life that subsequently turned her into a woman who has a hard time opening up to other women.

Next post I'll rant about Kayo's sexuality and how it's actually a retelling of the yandere trope in queer media

#AND MIC DROP #thank you for coming into my tedtalk #im feeling ranty today so I'm dropping this here #i wanna give her more depth that I couldn't do in my art sometimes #⊹˳⁺ ♡ miau//who speaks #blue eye samurai #blue eye samurai oc #oc x canon

[dahlia-shifts]

So it’s been a day since my first failed shifting attempt, I spent all day trying to shift to no avail. I know that the only reason I haven’t shifted is because I just back out last minute since I’m usually in no rush to shift.

And because sometimes I’m bored and content with how far I’ve gotten but last nights attempt wasn’t like that at all, I hyped myself up and unknowingly set myself up for failure.

I tried using a guided subliminal and it didn’t work for me at all, it was Reya’s guided subliminal and I couldn’t get past 20 minutes. For some reason though since I truly believed it would help me shift the fact that I ‘didn’t’ is just so tiring and disappointing, I know how to shift.

The reason I haven’t is solely because I’m procrastinating, but the only way I’m going to shift is if I do it myself. Onto another subject, I feel like a hater(I am for sure an hater) bc all of my drs either have a deep intense hatred for a certain show I don’t like or the show simply doesn’t exist in that reality. I have no reason for it either, I’ve moved past being angry at the show’s existence so there’s no reason for me to keep hating it but I still do. Anyway, just wanted to talk abt that.

Hii ! thanks for sending an ask! Lets talk about it all!

I understand you completely. I also feel like im backing out when trying to shift. sometimes, I think of shifting as something unachievable, and I feel scared that it might be something so different, but it's actually not. Idk if you mean you fell asleep after 20 mins of the sub, or you just turned it off, but i'll give you some tips for both !

If you feel tired of the sub, like it wouldnt work, try taking a break for a bit. find another position you're comfortable in, take a few minutes to yourself, then try again.

Try changing the sub. if you dont feel confident in it, try looking for another one, or the ones you simply have to fall asleep to while listening.

if you fall asleep before the sub is over, try going to bed earlier. put on the sub when you're not as tired, so you can pay attention to it for longer.

and a tip in general, you dont always have to be lying on your back. when i "minishifted" i was sleeping on my stomach. i find that helps me to get somewhat close to shifting.

and when nothing works, take a break. for yourself, and for your mind. try to re-program your way of thinking about shifting, esp if you found it during the early shifttok days.

about the hater thing, me too bae, me too. i feel like there are certain things here i dont like/cant get rid of, so i script it in my drs as well. i also try to make my scripts as close to my CR as possible, since it will be familiar to me and it would "help" me to shift to a reality where almost everything is the same.

thank you for the ask! im hoping i could help you in a way or two. Love you and take care! you will shift, the universe is on your side

#ღ dahlia anons #shiftblr #reality shifting #shifting #shifting realities #shifting consciousness #shifting motivation #desired reality #reality shift #reality shifter #shift

[whereeammii]

okay so ive been thinking about this all night and has spirit tracks actually happened in linked universe yet?

i recently reread all of LU and I’ve been wondering why there’s no mention of anything spirit tracks related.

now, pls pls correct me if I’m wrong or if I’ve missed something, but LU wind seems VERY phantom hourglass and wind waker oriented. there’s barely any mentions of anything in or about spirit tracks at all.

in the latest update i believe wind was thinking about bellum—not malladus. he mentions ganon all the time and even wields the phantom sword. i know jojo has stated that wind = spirit tracks link and it’s very likely that the lack of spirit tracks references are simply because jojo has a strong preference for phantom hourglass (as detailed here) but what if it’s not?

i looked through a lot of stuff but not everything. im far too tired for that atm. but I even looked through old q&a posts. there’s not even any ST references in wind’s design.

also keep in mind, the bokoblins wind recognizes are from the great sea. whenever he talks of his home, it’s always of islands or his time on the water. it sounds like they’re still sailing and looking for land. and i believe the general consensus is that wind and tetra don’t even discover new hyrule until they’re adults or at least in their late teens considering they set up the monarchy in new hyrule. idk about anyone else but I wouldn’t want my leading authority to be a fourteen year old.

as I said before, I admit there’s a high probability that jojo just….doesn’t care much for the game. last I recall, she said she’d give the game another chance after getting used to phantom hourglass’ mechanics. but do we know if she actually finished it?

the only evidence i have to refute this theory is a few handful of things.

likely the biggest proof against this theory (unless I’m missing, not understanding, or forgetting something) is wind’s current shield.

i believe as far as these three games are concerned, it only shows up in spirit tracks. it could also be argued that wind was referring to chancellor cole or ST zelda in the latest update when expressing his concerns about twilight getting corrupted but chancellor cole was never really corrupted? from the start, he was a demon who merely pretended to be a normal hylian and byrne did everything of his own volition in an attempt to become more powerful. i suppose it could still be about zelda (especially when you really think about the puppeteer line) but I wouldn’t describe ST zelda as having been corrupted and certainly not in the way wind is worried twilight could be. her body was used as a vessel but not when her spirit or consciousness was in it and it wasn’t because of any practice she participated in or item she used.

jojo did upload a video at one point and one of the time stamps shows she talked about spirit tracks zelda. unfortunately, I’ve never seen this video and am currently still unable to access it so I have no idea what was spoken about in this video.

furthermore, while this may be trying to find a needle in a haystack, one could look at this comic and find it suspicious that wind knows and understands cuccos and their dangers very well despite them not being present in the wind waker. while cuccos are in spirit tracks, they are also very much present in phantom hourglass.

anyway, long story short—im probably overthinking. but wind speaks of the great sea as though it’s still very much present in his current time which leads me to believe spirit tracks hasn’t happened yet among other things. you could always just argue that wind found his shield somewhere in the great sea or on an island post-phantom hourglass and it was merely kept around until the events of spirit tracks.

i really don’t mind this lack of reference though! for those members of the fandom like me who love to make wind and spirit two separate people, it helps that wind hardly (if ever) alludes to any spirit tracks adventures. and if you like meshing all three games together, it’s interesting to think of spirit tracks as an adventure wind has yet to begin!

pls lmk if I’ve gotten anything wrong or missed something! i’ll be very embarrassed but i’ll live!! also, if you happen to know what was said about ST zelda and want to lmk, I’d be happy to hear that too!

#linked universe #linkeduniverse #lu #lu wind #lu spirit #kinda #wind waker #phantom hourglass #spirit tracks #lu theory #ALSO!! #he always refers to his home as hyrule or the great sea #never NEW hyrule #just an observation

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Spark

I request disabled Merlin! He hurt his leg and now he uses a cane sometimes when it gets bad. (this is all, can be a background detail in another fic!) - anon

Canon Era Lancelot and Merlin being roommates. I think they should get to be roommates. - anon

I humbly request a fic where Arthur learns some magic if you don't mind writing it. I think it'd be so fun in your style. - anon

I need gwaine and Arthur hurt/comfort (hurt arthur) to breathe and live please and thank you (/nm /pos) - anon

Read on Ao3

Warnings: none

Pairings: merthur, can be platonic or romantic you decide

Word Count: 2048

In the aftermath of one particular sorcerer's attack, Merlin is left to recover while Arthur contemplates how it feels to be so helpless against an enemy that threatens Merlin, Camelot, his people, and Merlin.

Gwaine and Lancelot both have some advice, but it's up to the two idiots to decide whether to take it or not.

    "Alright," Gwaine announces, pushing open Arthur's door with about as little ceremony as he throws his boots into a corner when he shucks them off, "that's enough sulking, Princess, we're all sick of it."

Arthur barely even looks up. Still in his armor, his sword laid across his knee, whetstone in hand. The slow shirking sound of sharpening metal fills the room as Gwaine sighs.

"Look, you going to tell me what's got you all sulky or am I just going to have to guess?"

"I have a feeling very little would stop you doing that." Arthur doesn't look up at this either. "So go ahead."

"Your boots not exactly as warm as they should be? The kitchen messing up and giving your blueberries instead of strawberries? Your red cloak with the silver studs is in the laundry so you had to wear the red one with the gold studs?"

Still sharpening the sword, Arthur huffs. "They're pewter, Gwaine, and I think we both know why I'm upset."

"Ah! So he admits it!" Even as Gwaine raises his hands in mock celebration, a twinge of worry plants itself in his chest as he hears Arthur actually admit he's worried about something. "Will wonders never cease? Pray tell, dear Prince, what it is that ails you?"

A pause, long enough for two more passes of the whetstone. Then: "Is Merlin alright?"

Gwaine stops, sitting down next to him. He sobers a little, leaning his weight on one knee. "Yeah. He's alright. Just a bit tired."

"Lancelot's with him?"

"Yeah, in their room." He looks over as Arthur's fingers flex. "You know, he'd probably share with you if you asked him."

Arthur doesn't respond to that, only sets the whetstone aside and reaches for a rage. Gwaine raises an eyebrow.

"Is this your way of telling Merlin he doesn't do a good enough job, or—"

"No."

The sudden ferocity in Arthur's voice gives Gwaine pause. He looks over again and sees the way Arthur grips the rag so tightly it almost whines under the pressure. He waits, watching Arthur take a deep breath.

"No," he repeats, more calmly this time, "it isn't. Merlin hasn't polished my sword in several weeks now."

It's not the time, Gwaine scolds himself, but really the fruit is hanging so low it's hard to see anything else.

"He's enough else to worry about," Arthur continues, oblivious—or perhaps willing to overlook—the thoughts running through Gwaine's head, "and it's one of the few of his tasks that I am capable of doing just fine on my own."

If it were another task, or perhaps if Arthur's hands had shaken less, Gwaine would've seized this low hanging-fruit instead, but as it stands, he simply nods. "Never thought I'd see the day where you admitted Merlin's better at something than you."

"Nonsense, I've called him a bigger fool than I am for years." It falls flat and they both know it. After another moment, Arthur sighs. "And…perhaps I'm just now learning the extent of Merlin's…duties."

Gwaine hums, looking at the floor too. "A one-man army, our Merlin is."

"Except armies aren't supposed to be one man," Arthur growls, "that's why they're armies. Groups, a team, men fighting alongside each other as brothers, as equals, how can—"

The rag does groan, the sword lying forgotten as Arthur closes his eyes.

"How can Merlin be an army," he says finally, "with no one else to support him?"

"He's got us," Gwaine says, "he's got you."

"But what can I do?" For not the first time, but the first time in a long while, disgust and shame color Arthur's face as he looks down at his sword. "I can't fight magic with a sword. There's only so much a prat in metal armor can do against the type of enemies that wish Merlin dead."

"I'd say we've proven that running any man through with a sword does work, magic or otherwise."

"That's not the point, Gwaine."

"I know." He shifts his weight, easing a cramp. "Why not learn some magic yourself?"

Now Arthur looks at him, although it is the same way one looks at a pig trying to fly. "Excuse me?"

"Merlin's born with magic, but most people aren't. They learn it. Gaius learned it, most of the people have magic items or things that give them magic, why not learn some of it yourself? That way when Merlin's off being all impressive we can do the little things that are the equivalent of sweeping the floor."

Arthur frowns. "Do the thing my father outlawed? Do the thing he killed people for? Do the very thing that is treason and would get me executed?"

"Yeah, that."

"Have you been drinking?"

"Stone cold sober." Arthur huffs, disbelieving, but Gwaine leans closer. "You said it yourself. Merlin's alone, and more often than not, he probably feels it because of how magic's talked about around here. If you showed that you were willing to learn, that you acknowledge the kind of pressure he's under, then maybe he won't feel it so much."

Arthur's quiet for a long moment, just looking at him, before he nods once. "Alright. I'll ask him."

"There you go."

"You know, you give good advice when you're sober. You should try it more."

"Oh?"

"Or I'll make you one of my advisors when I become King."

"Alright, alright, there's no need to threaten me."

***

Lancelot looks up when Merlin opens the door, putting his book down and pulling out a chair by the fireplace. "What?"

Merlin walks over, cane leaning against the cobbles. It topples over and he sits it back up. It topples over again and he sighs, eyes glowing as it goes back to its resting place and stays. Lancelot chuckles, helping Merlin set his leg on his knee and reaching for the oil.

"Arthur asked me to teach him magic today."

Lancelot's hands fumble momentarily with the oil. "He what?"

"Said he was 'just now learning' all the things I do—"

"Better late than never, I suppose."

"—right, and then asked if he could learn some easy to…"

The cork finally gives and Lancelot raises an eyebrow. "To…?"

"…'sweep the floor,' as it were, when we have to face magical threats."

Merlin sighs as Lancelot starts to massage his bad leg, head tilting back. From the warm glow of the fire, Lancelot can see how thin his face is becoming and the deep bags under his eyes. "What do you think of it?"

"I think I was tempted to go to Gaius and have him looked at."

Lancelot chuckles. "And then?"

"And then I wondered if it was a trick. To get me to show my magic so he could arrest me."

"I'd never let that happen, Merlin. None of the knights would. Morgana wouldn't."

"I know," comes the mulish reply, "I didn't think it for very long."

He gathers a bit more oil and works it in, focusing on a particularly stubborn knot as the fire crackles. After a moment, he looks up again. "Do you think you will?"

Merlin shifts. "I don't know. It would…it would be nice to have someone else with magic."

"Morgana—"

"Morgana does enough already."

"And you don't?" At his guilty shift, Lancelot sighs. "Merlin, Arthur's trying. In his own stubborn way, he's trying. You know that, right?"

"Of course I know it. Ow!"

"Sorry." He shifts his grip. "But then you know that means he's not asking because he wants the power or he doesn't know any better. He's asking to help you."

"I know."

"Who knows, maybe he'll be good at healing."

Merlin snorts. "Gaius would be proud."

"No prouder than he is of you, I'm sure."

"Shut up." But it's weak and undone by the way Merlin looks at him a moment later. "You think I should do it?"

"I think putting your faith in Arthur has served you well in the past," Lancelot replies, smiling softly, "as has my faith in you."

A small smile lifts the corner of his mouth. "Did Gwaine teach you that one?"

"Of course not. I taught him that one."

"You didn't."

Lancelot merely returns to massaging his leg.

"You didn't. Lancelot—wait, what else did you teach him?"

"I don't kiss and tell, Merlin."

"Oh, yes, you do, especially when it's to me. Now spill."

***

In the end, they decide to try a very simple spell first. Elemental magic is among one of the most dangerous, but its power is the easiest to tap into for beginners, so fire manipulation it is.

"Why didn't you just light the candle with magic?"

"Because you're not going to be able to do that for a while and I didn't want to get your hopes up."

Arthur pouts but nods, tapping his fingers on the table as Merlin steeples his fingers.

"Forbærne."

The flame rises, licking higher and higher, until it's almost the height of the window, before it resettles. Arthur's eyes widen as he watches and he lets out a slow breath that makes the flame wobble as he looks up at Merlin.

"…am I supposed to do that?"

"No, just make it grow a little."

Arthur narrows his eyes. "You wouldn't have happened to talk to Gwaine about why you chose this demonstration for our first lesson, did you?"

"No, why—oh."

"That's a no, then."

Merlin shakes his head. "Here, let's try this instead. Forbærne."

This time, instead of growing taller and taller, the flame flares brighter, changing into an almost golden color before resettling. Arthur frowns. "But you said the same thing."

"Magic isn't about one word translating to one effect, it's about translating what you want to happen into what will happen." When Arthur just blinks, he sighs. "I wanted it to burn a certain way so I used the word for 'burn.'"

"…let's start there."

Merlin nods to the candle. "Now. Find the part of you that understands why the fire burns and ask it to change."

"This sounds suspiciously like poetry."

"It is like poetry. No two men read the same poem the same way, no two magic users use magic the same way."

Arthur looks at him doubtfully before taking a deep breath and focusing on the candle. "Forbærne."

Nothing.

"Forbærne. Forbærne." He throws his hands up. "It's not working."

"You have to believe."

"I do believe, my hair near got scorched when you did it not ten seconds ago."

"But you have to believe you can do it." Merlin gestures between them. "You have to believe that the power will flow the direction you want it to when you ask it. You need to become a vessel to channel it. It won't just happen if you don't make yourself open to it."

"How do I do that, though? I've never—I don't—I don't understand magic."

"You do," Merlin says patiently, voice softening a little at the obvious distress in Arthur's voice, "you were born of it. Magic brought you into this world. It surrounds you, you're—you're closer to it than you think."

Arthur stares doubtfully at the candle flame.

"It's not a sword. You can't pick it up and put it down. It's part of you. You don't reach out and grab it, you open your hand and it fits there." Merlin pushes the candle a little closer to him. "You can do it."

Arthur closes his eyes. He takes another deep breath and something in his shoulders changes. When he opens his eyes again, the flame dances behind his eyes.

"Forbærne."

The candle flame flickers and glows a deep, warm red.

Arthur looks up at him in wonder and for a second, a bit of gold glows in his eyes too.

#dragonbabbles #fic #merlin #bbc merlin #merlin bbc

[a-mag-a-day]

Thoughts about mag56: rant version.

Ok, first at all, i genuinely don't understand how many people on this relisting are—upset? With Jon reaction towards Martin, in one part i can understand on how, even in much later on the series is never fully discussed Jonathan's heated to Martin, some people are ignoring the fact our protagonist aren't exactly on a healthy mindset on this point, our guy is paranoid, is tired and has recently discovered he's into something so much bigger than just Prentiss incident, is volatile, has flaws as everyone on tma, some are forgetting that this show on its core, is broken people.

I don't excuse or something like that his character, but understand that on his situation: is on point, has sense on the narrative.

And before someone's says this, no, im not invalidating your own thoughts on this episode, but this is my personal take.

Set this aside, now /the actual thoughts/

"All I know is, these days I can almost smell the blood coming off them." We can now put Trevor on alignment char, Hunt guy :")

Out of context but before doing my own relistings motivated by this blog, i got my boyfriend started listening to tma and he can't still get away this guy is named Trevor and is a hunter, vampire hunter. . . Sounds familiar with certain saga of games, huh🤔

"The fact that I was able to kill normal people reassures me that the creatures I hunt are real. Do you understand?" you sure that is justified, my fine homeless sir?

"Heroin is calm. It’s a small chunk of peace in a world that’s full of nothing but hard edges[...]" On now, random information about drugs: Heroin is an opioid drug made from morphine, a natural substance taken from the seed pod of the various opium plants, so indeed, one of the normal reactions on the effect is this sense of calm

"Perhaps if my mind hadn’t been so fogged with brown I might have beaten it out, or perhaps if I hadn’t been so dead eager to kill another vampire[...]" Our Hunt guy khows very well something's off, not with the world around, but with this thirst on hunting down, on killing, at least is a realisation.

" After that I spent over a decade in a very serious spiral. I don’t remember much of it[...]" Fuzzy feeling and memory gaps are part of getting out of the hunt? 🤔

First, worm paranoid lady and now we have human disguise to spiders !! Amazings costumes tho

"She was still standing upright, but from the open mouth, I could see that her body was completely hollow, save for a few cobwebs that I could just make out under the streetlights." Okey but guys, TRY TO imagine this scene, is the most raw thing ever.

"But if there’s other stuff around out there… maybe you know more about it than me." Don't worry Trevor, my guy, this guys totally understand and khows very much

"As for the spider person, the only proof of its existence seems to be that I am far too unlucky for it to simply be an old tramp hallucination." Jon my brother you are indeed the clown of luck

MARTIN: I was 17, my mum, she had – she had some problems and I ended up dropping out of school trying to support us. –> I always forgot this fact that Martin lived really an unpleasant family situation, there's in the whole series just hints on his more personal life, but always give me the most sad ideas:(

" [slight laugh] Right, I–I… uh… I believe you. " Man is to broke and tired, he needs to believe anything that resembles to normality.

I get where you're coming from and I get where other people come from. Different people react differently to Jon's outburst and that's perfectly valid, this podcast has dark themes that touch people personally in different ways, especially when it pertains to the characters they love and sympathize with <3

#a mag a day #tma #the magnus archives #episode asks #mod ashes #tma spoilers #mag 56 #serazephyr

[drvirgus]

Commitment & Responsibility

Yeji X Fem! Reader

Description: The life of Yeji and her Girlfriend Yn

Warnings: G!P Yeji, Smut, Angst

Chapter 4:

My eyes opened as I heard a loud noise. Almost instantly, my gaze shifted to the digital clock on my nightstand. 3 AM.

My forehead furrowed as I heard another noise. I immediately got up from my bed, tying my hair into a short ponytail as I always did. My heart rate accelerated.

I opened my bedroom door, and my eyes widened. Yeji was sitting at the set table. Her eyes filled with tears as she ate the food I had left in the oven. Her head lifted when she presumably heard me and looked at me.

My mouth hung open. I blinked several times. I hadn't even fully realized the situation yet. I simply stared at her while her cheeks were stuffed with the food I had cooked for our date.

Yeji stood up, holding onto the table for support. "Y/n," she slurred. My eyes widened even more. Yeji... was drunk.

I swallowed as I saw Yeji unsteadily on her feet. She looked at me, her eyes filled with tears.

But I couldn't say anything. My face simply looked shocked at the older woman at the table. That article still lingering in my mind, causing my jaw to tense.

But Yeji was drunk... Very drunk, in fact... She could hardly even stand...

"Y/n," she said again, a tear escaping her eye. She took a step towards me, letting go of the table. I swallowed. My chest ached...

"I... I'm so sorry," she said, a tear falling from her eye. My eyes widened in surprise. Did she just confirm it? Had she really cheated on me?

I moved closer to her as I saw her stumble forward. She even had hiccups from all the alcohol. I swallowed as I wrapped her arm around my shoulder, my own arm around her waist to stabilize her.

Silently, I led her into my bedroom. My eyes on her clothing. She was wearing... exactly the same clothes as in the photo...

I swallowed as I laid her on my bed. She had apparently taken off her shoes before entering the apartment. Normally, I would chuckle at that, but it hurt to see her like this.

Her eyes closed tiredly as she sighed, "I'm sorry," repeating herself. I swallowed again.

Don't apologize... It just hurts more when you apologize.

So, I removed her pants and her top. Suddenly, her hand stopped me, and she looked at me. Her eyes narrowed in anger. "I have a girlfriend!" she said, and shortly after, her eyes closed again.

My mouth hung open. I stared at her for a while. Tears formed in my own eyes too. Oh... now you have a girlfriend?

I took a deep breath and immediately gave her one of my sweatpants and one of my T-shirts to wear. She had fallen asleep... I covered her up.

Quietly, I went to the living room after slowly closing my bedroom door. My eyes fell on the table. She had actually managed to make herself a plate of food in her state and had eaten almost everything.

She said she was sorry... What exactly was she sorry for? Did she really cheat on me? Was that it?

A tear escaped my eye, but I wiped it away immediately. No... I shouldn't cry...

My eyes fell on the couch. I swallowed as I sighed. I should sleep on the couch. I have to wake up early tomorrow...

————————————————————————————

The next morning, I woke up extra early. To be honest, I had been awake almost the entire night. I couldn't sleep a wink. Tired and emotionally drained, I sat in the van as I picked up Wheein.

Yeji was still asleep when I left the apartment. I didn't say a word to her. I didn't wake her up... I couldn't bear to have that conversation with her just yet.

Wheein got into the van and fastened her seatbelt. She smiled cheerfully and well-rested, but her expression froze as she looked at my face. Almost immediately, she silently unbuckled her seatbelt and moved to the passenger seat.

Surprised by this gesture, I looked at her with wide eyes. I wore sunglasses on my nose, so she couldn't see my eyes. Wheein buckled up and observed me carefully.

"What happened?" she said immediately. She didn't even say hello. She went straight to the point. I put on a smile, saying, "What do you mean? I'm fine," but Wheein just looked at me with a furrowed brow.

I started driving. I could feel Wheein staring at me the whole time. Nervously, I sighed, "Unnie... I don't want to talk about it, really," I said softly. Wheein looked at me, her face filled with concern.

I smiled faintly, and silence lingered. I continued driving until Moonbyul and Solar got into the car. Solar wore thick sunglasses. Her hangover was probably still bothering her. Moonbyul looked tired too, although not as much as Solar.

Both of them immediately noticed my state of mind because I only greeted them and didn't say anything else. Almost instantly, the three of them looked at each other in silence. But that changed automatically when we picked up Hwasa.

With a furrowed brow, she opened my driver's door. She immediately showed me her phone and asked, "Is this true?" My eyes fell on her phone. She had opened the article. It caused an even sharper pain in my chest.

Curiously, Wheein looked at the phone. Her eyes widened shortly after. She gasped in shock. The others did the same.

"No... this can't be true. She was supposed to be..." Moonbyul trailed off, her eyes wide as she stared at the back of my head. I bit my lip as I looked away from the article.

"Get in, unnie... you have a busy schedule today," I said. I swallowed as my shoulders slumped. Tears welled up in my eyes, but the sunglasses on my nose prevented them from being seen.

"Yes. We shouldn't overwhelm y/n like this, guys," Solar said now, her eyes narrowed with concern. Hwasa bit her lip and nodded, finally getting into the van.

———————————————————————————

Jagiya♥️ (8:15 AM): Y/n. Can we talk?

Jagiya♥️ (9:30 AM): Please, jagiya... I want to see you.

Jagiya♥️ (10:47 AM): I miss you... I'll explain everything... but please... tell me where you are.

I swallowed as I heard my phone ringing again. Tears filled my eyes as I briefly took off my sunglasses and wiped my eyes. But I didn't reply.

The day dragged on much longer than expected. Every single second was hell. My chest ached with every beat of my heart. My jaw and body were tense.

"We're going to get wasted today," Moonbyul said as she took a sip from her water bottle. She looked at me with concern. "If you want, you can sleep at my and Yong-sun's place tonight," she said, a slight smile on her face as her hand landed on my shoulder.

I nodded, smiling with my head. I had been desperately trying not to cry all day. I shouldn't cry... Yeji hadn't confirmed that she really cheated on me... A part of me didn't even believe it...

Me (1:58 PM): Not today... don't message me anymore today... I'll be sleeping at Solar and Moonbyul's place tonight, so don't wait outside my door either. I... wouldn't be able to handle seeing you today.

————————————————————————————

Drunk, I looked at the older women. I laughed heartily as I looked at Hwasa. We were playing charades, and she was making a not-so-innocent gesture.

"Sex! Fucking! Penetration?" I exclaimed loudly, and Solar burst into laughter, playfully hitting my arm. Hwasa shook her head repeatedly. She changed her position and started twerking. Confused, my mouth opened, "twerking?" I asked, and Hwasa immediately nodded.

I looked at her incredulously, "then why the previous movement?" I asked, and we all laughed. Each of us was quite drunk. Hwasa sat down as the round came to an end.

Moonbyul gave her girlfriend a quick kiss on the mouth and stood up. She held up two fingers, and Solar looked focused, "two words," she said, and Moonbyul nodded immediately. She indicated that she would act out the first word.

She roared and moved on all fours. Amused, I burst into laughter. Wheein sighed softly as she leaned against me, "she's making it so complicated," Wheein said, knowing exactly what word Moonbyul had.

Curiously, I looked at her. She grinned immediately, "She has Tiger Woods," she whispered in my ear. Laughing, I watched Moonbyul trying to move like a tiger.

I laughed, and Wheein laughed with me. Hwasa and Solar looked quite confused. Solar, however, started to get a bit aggressive as her voice grew louder.

Suddenly, the doorbell rang. I immediately apologized as we had decided that they would all sleep at my place in the end. My fridge was also stocked with soju... I always had a glass after work.

So, I went to the door. I opened it, and my mouth almost dropped open. My body immediately tensed up.

"I know... you didn't want to see me today... but I couldn't help it. Can we please talk?" the taller one said. Dark circles plagued her face as she scrutinized my entire face.

I held onto the door, looking at Yeji as my breath caught in my throat. "I... I'm drunk," I just muttered. Almost instantly, her face changed to one of concern, and she took a step closer to me.

But I stumbled backward because of it. She swallowed as she closed the door, "Y/n..." Yeji said softly, her eyes filled with sadness as she looked at me.

"What's going on?" I heard, and I turned my head to Wheein. The older one looked at Yeji and then at me, "Oh... the cheater?" she asked, looking at me. She grabbed my wrist and pulled me behind her.

Yeji's mouth opened. She shook her head, "let me explain, Y/n. I can explain everything, please," Yeji immediately pleaded. I looked at her. Automatically, I bit my lip. Then I looked at Wheein, "I'm sorry... go ahead and join the others. I... I'll talk to Yeji briefly," I said, and Wheein furrowed her brow.

"You're drunk. It's not a good state to have such a conversation," Wheein replied, looking at Yeji. The younger one nodded her head.

"Oh. Is that Yeji?" Moonbyul asked curiously. Drunkenly, she grinned, "I really hoped you would come," the older one said, and Yeji's eyes lit up almost instantly.

She looked at Moonbyul, and a small smile formed on her face. Moonbyul immediately touched her on the shoulder, "come in first. Y/n is too drunk for a conversation, but I know it would make her happy if you're here," Moonbyul said as she dragged Yeji into the living room.

Wheein's mouth opened. She didn't seem pleased. She huffed and followed them into the living room. I did the same. Moonbyul immediately introduced her girlfriend and Wheein.

Yeji smiled. She seemed slightly intimidated by Wheein and Hwasa's angry stares. Moonbyul quickly made her a drink, "we're currently playing charades... oh, and we're all staying here tonight," Moonbyul said.

Yeji nodded, but her eyes immediately wandered to me. I, however, avoided her gaze. My heartbeat quickened.

She wanted to explain everything... Was there an explanation?

"Why is she here?" Hwasa asked after a while. Her face twisted in disgust, her eyes narrowed in anger. Yeji tensed up as well, "Don't be so mean. There's surely an explanation for everything," Solar said, smiling. Slightly louder than usual, as she was quite drunk.

I cleared my throat and took a big sip from my drink. I took a deep breath, "we should... continue playing," I said. A faint smile formed on my lips.

#itzy yeji #itzy #yeji #hwang yeji #itzy x yn #itzy x reader #itzy x you

[ponds-of-ink]

Sing The Ghosts A Christmas Carol Bonus Chapter: “The Ultimate Challenge”

Or, as I called it in a WIP file, “Putting The ‘Boxing’ in Boxing Day”.

Well, I had this idea for a while and thought it’d be a good way to really end NaNoWrimo. Hope this pays off..

-

Well, I guess I can tell one more tale. I forgot that I never answered one question: Did William ever beat that Ultimate Challenge? And, if so, was he set free like he thought?

To answer the first question, I need to return to a different Christmas. Happiness were high all around, William was enjoying his time off, and nobody really thought of actually participating in the challenge that would cause so much holiday grievances.

That is, until a message from The Bear ‘himself’ arrived.

The Puppet, being one to usually speak for this golden-furred ringleader, set to work on getting everyone’s attention. She snatched the microphone from Fun-Fox and whistled into the speakers. “Sorry to interrupt the fun, but we’ve got a letter from ‘management’,” she relayed to her puzzled audience. “And it’s written out to William, so I hope he’s paying attention.” William—who was then in the middle of giving Scraptrap some much-needed advice in terms of confidence—quickly raised his hand. “I’m all ears, don’t fret,” he assured with a raised voice, readjusting his sitting position. “Go ahead and read.”

The Puppet wasted no time in prying open the sticker-sealed letter. She took a moment to decipher the crayon-scrawled drawing, then read the note for all to hear:

“The Ultimate Challenge starts tomorrow. 6 AM. No more stalling. No more ‘tack-tic’ stuff. I want to see you put the ‘boxing’ in Boxing Day.”

While the other animatronics voiced their mixed emotions, William simply leaned back in his chair. “Sounds like Goldie’s getting impatient,” he muttered to a wide-eyed Scraptrap. “I’m not sure why exactly, but I’m willing to put up a good fight.”

“‘Putting the box in Boxing Day’?” Scraptrap repeated incredulously, his voice barely above a whisper. “But Boxing Day isn’t about wresting, … is-s-s it?”

“You’re right, it isn’t,” William replied calmly, patting the rabbit’s shoulder. “If I recall correctly, it’s just a separate holiday that comes right after Christmas. It’s more of a Canadian and British tradition, though, which makes Goldie mentioning at all even more strange.”

“Maybe.. A calendar told ‘him’?”

“Maybe,” William echoed, shrugging his shoulders. “But I won’t get that worked up about it. I need to save all my frustration for tomorrow.” His eyebrows raised as a sudden thought came to him. “And, by the way,” he resumed, refocusing his attention towards Scraptrap, “don’t be scared if you jump-scare me the most. I’m not going to lash out like I did many Christmases ago— N-Not intentionally, anyway.”

“Thanks for the warning, then,” Scraptrap responded sarcastically, his good ear raising a little. “Heh. I bet you’re going to throw so many fits.”

William just chuckled sheepishly. Deep down, he knew he was going to have an outburst of rage or two. Not towards any of the animatronics in play, mind you, but towards the system itself.

Thankfully, that system wasn’t in play on that Christmas night. The hours flew by, housing games and talks of all kinds. Molten Freddy lost his Guessing Game title, Ballora managed to hit the Purple Piñata, and many other wins and losses were decided on that night.

Of course, as we’re not here to discuss the interpersonal “rivalries” of the animatronics, I’ll skip to the main event itself. William, understandably, woke up that morning absolutely tired. All the lingering joy from the night’s festivities went down in the drain in minutes. One round, he was too slow in dealing with certain threats like Night-Marion. In another, he made too much noise for the equally-frazzled Music Man or Lefty’s likings. Even more rounds were lost due to forgetting his cameras or some other arbitrary condition, which I won’t waste your time with. All that the “lay-person” needs to know is that the barrage of noises combined with remembering so many rules did a number. This was to be expected, of course, but all parties were getting very worn-down over the course of the day. Yes, including the extra robots waiting in the metaphorical wings.

By the time the sun set on our human realm, William was practically in shambles. His arms and fingers ached from all the frantic movements. His eyes welled with tears of pain and endless hours of straining. His ears would have bled if his ability to regenerate wasn’t in play then. And, worst of all, his nerves and mental state were shot. Gone were the hours of confidence and proper strategy. Now he spiraled into absolute despair. “Maybe all those canned remarks still have a grain of truth in them,” he thought as he recovered from his latest attempt. “Maybe I’m not fit to leave this place, even with all my efforts to improve. Maybe this challenge is supposed to show how inadequate I truly am— Both as a human being and as a game player.”

He slumped as he placed his elbows on the desk. His reddened eyes drifted to the newly-mounted clock. It ticked on though its hands still stayed at midnight. Almost as if it was taunting him. Waiting for him to accept his fate. However, this taunt was met with a raised eyebrow. William leaned back, then let his eyes bounce between the clock and the monitor. “The next session hasn’t started yet,” he noted quietly, putting a hand on his burning forehead. “The loop’s.. stopped.”

He stared on the monitor a bit closer. A bluish-gray text box took up the middle of the screen. In gold text, a question emerged: “Giving up yet?”

William’s posture straightened a little. He lifted his hand towards the screen. His mind darted between the two answers presented. A long train of thought barreled towards its destination. He selected “No”.

Another text box popped up. “Okay then,” was its answer. “Have ‘fun’. Over and over and over again.”

Deep down, William’s response was a resolute “I will”.

So, the cycle of torment restarted. The faked irritation in the animatronics became more genuine. William tried to revive his thought process, but it stayed dead in the red-tinted water. Evening turned to night, darkening along with the mood of the Neon Cemetery.

So, does this mean that my answer is “No”? Did he—and by extension, we— never found out what happened? Was he doomed to undergo a Groundhog Loop of maddening proportions?

Well, that’s the most miraculous part of the story: He did, in fact, finally win. And not because he surrendered to Golden Freddy.

You see, in the dead of night, he decided to have one more go. “This’ll be the last one for a good while,” William reasoned with himself as he collected his newest consolation prize. “I’m knackered and famished. Everyone else is hopping mad. It’s for the best that I just ‘call it quits’ after this one.”

So, in a sleep-deprived state; he started the night. His mind drifted into some dazed state, practically repeating the once-frantic motions as if it was daily routine. The blaring noises sounded like television static. The threats were simply greeted with a weary wave before being shut out. To put it another way, he was absolutely out of it for almost the entire shift. It took a particularly loud advertisement on the monitor to even snap him back into action— And that advertisement played an “hour” before the end of his shift.

Now snapped back to this new reality, he tried to maintain his pace. He stuck to his routine, but with a lot more energy. The minutes passed by in a frantic pace. All of the animatronics put on their best performances. Golden Freddy’s presence loomed over the entire event, though the hear only appeared once or twice. William clenched his teeth as he glanced at the clock. Five seconds to go. Four seconds. Three. Two. One…

Six chimes rang out. The entire room fell into silence.

…A silence that William immediately broke. “Yes!” he yelled into the apparent void, putting his hands on his head. “I beat it! I finally did it…!” His triumphant voice broke into a sob as he mistakenly fell onto the floor. He stayed there, spilling all of those bottled emotions on the floor.

The score on the monitor kept on increasing. It ran through the ranks, as if trying to find the right thing to “exclaim”. Until, finally, it stopped at the most understandable remark of all: ‘Unbeatable!’

And, yes, it was unbeatable.

…So then why was he immediately sent back to the office?

William had this exact question as he opened his eyes. He peered across the desk to see if something special happened. The only thing that appeared was a small, golden Freddy trophy next to the monitor. And, on said monitor, another text box with golden letters that read:

“What? You thought it was over?”

William instinctively selected the “Yes” option. After all that, how could he not assume such a thing?

The screen flickered as a ghostly laugh rang out. The text box updated again:

“Silly bunny. I will never let you leave. I can never let you rest. No matter how many times you beat it, you’ll always end up back here. Forever.”

An icy sensation ran through William’s entire body. “Was this always planned?” he asked hoarsely, typing the same question on the keyboard.

The text box wasted no time in replying. “Yup,” it said. “Even before your little ‘turn around’.”

William’s look of horror melted into a furious scowl. “But that’s not fair!” he snapped darkly, rapidly typing away yet again. “For the others, I mean! Won’t you wear them all down soon enough? Won’t you get tired of me screaming and bemoaning my fate over and over again?”

The text box paused for a second, then continued its streak of fast replies. “Being tired of you acting like a crybaby is better than letting you go,” it answered. “You haven’t been punished enough yet.”

William raised an eyebrow at this last remark, but decided to brush it off. “What would’ve happened if I was let go, then?” he questioned further. “Do you think I would’ve returned to the living world?“

Another pause from the other side. This time, it was minutes longer. William did send a “take your time” through the keyboard, but to no avail.

A couple of minutes later, the response finally came. “I don’t know,” it replied in a smaller font. “But I have a feeling you’d try to claw your way out somehow.”

William’s brow darkened. “I doubt that I have that kind of power,” he corrected thoughtfully. “But, as I myself have no idea what awaits any of us, I suppose I’ll uphold your judgment. Until you or I find out, of course.”

The screen flickered. The laughter started up again, but it was much shakier. “I can work with that,” a final box added. “See you tomorrow…” William simply waved as the box closed itself. He tiredly climbed into his chair. He exhaled slowly, lowering his head. All he could do was cling onto the progress he made— Both in his game-playing and with himself.

..Yes, dear reader, this was how that night ended. A great triumph fading into the tortured monotony of tomorrows to come. I wish I could add a further anecdote. Bit, alas, time is pressing me and Goldie has been very persistent. Most likely is, given the uncertainty of it all.

The only comfort I can give is that the robots and William are still in better standing than they were years ago. Ballora and him have become a lot (though whether or not Justine is haunting her is still unknown, so any romance has been held off). Scraptrap is finally saying quips of his own instead of repeating the one line he’s been retrained to echo back. And the rest? Well, some have worse grievances to deal with, but at least amends are being made.

I guess my wish has been fulfilled, but not in the way that even I anticipated. And, all things considered, that might just be the best outcome any of them coul

#william afton #fnaf fanfic #scraptrap #golden freddy #fnaf ucn #bonus chapter #sing the ghosts a Christmas carol #nanowrimo

[pb-dot]

My most persistent writer neurosis is probably also my most difficult to explain. If I should try to capture that flighty anxiety in words, I'd say the things I write don't feel right to me on some fundamental level. The book I'm writing doesn't "feel enough like a book" to me, and it's the kind of purely emotional reaction that's hell to try to reason your way out of because there's no real reason in the thought process that got me into it.

That doesn't mean I won't try though

Part of it, I think, is just the form influences that dictate my writing. I started long-form writing with screenplays, so the way I do descriptions may be a bit atypical. Screenplays aren't supposed to describe too vividly, at least character descriptions are supposed to be evocative, but not too specific to leave creative room for casting, directing, and acting decisions. This is all well and good, but when those decisions are absent, such as in a purely written word text, I'm worried I don't describe things enough, leaving fairly complex characters acting out their stories in blank featureless limbo.

It should be mentioned that I am not a huge fan of excessive descriptions in the books I read either. There is a nice flow to a good description that resonates with the plot and themes of the book, it can border on the hypnotic in fact. It can also be tedious to the point of the ridiculous, with paragraph upon paragraph of rolling hills and trees of this and that genus and whatnot.

Another source of this uncertainty is probably more psychological, in that I think my writing feels "wrong" to me because it is mine. One of the reasons I love reading is spending some time in a different perspective, seeing a different world through a different set of eyes. All well and good as far as I'm concerned, but it's something my own writing simply can't give me. Even if I was the best writer in the known universe, I would not be able to do that without finding out a way to write while heavily dissociating. In addition to perhaps being impossible, this also sounds inadvisable.

Similarly to the above, there is also a lack of discovery when I read what I've written myself. There's plenty of character motivation and worldbuilding for a reader to learn, but by the time I get around to actually reading it, I'm already kind of tired of whatever there is to discover. There's no wonder to it, it's just the ideas that have been rolling around my mind for months or even years now and are frankly getting tedious from familiarity a lot.

So, in short, I find it difficult to experience true enthusiasm for my own writing, and I think that makes this whole writing situation much harder. On the bright side, I feel the fog clear just a little bit on this, and I've come to love re-reading at least some aspects of my WIP for editing, even though I wish it was written just a little bit better.

#writing #writeblr #gripes #peebs thinks #writer neurosis #the brain is a strange place #editing

[endlessbittersweetdreams]

"Broken & Beautiful" Chapter 6

     It’s been nearly a week since my heart was broken in the basement of 22W. Broken? No. More like shattered and run through a figurative blender set on puree. I don��t know how long I spent crying on that floor, but I finally managed to pull myself up and make my way home. There was a part of me, as hurt as I was, that kept listening for the sound of Jake’s footsteps behind me. Walking home with him has become such a regular thing that I miss it, even though I know it was all part of a scheme to get me into bed.

     I wonder how long he was planning it. Did it all begin the night he showed up at my apartment with my medication? Or maybe it started before then, and my vulnerability had been the open door he needed to weasel his way into my life and break down my defenses. Whatever the case, he’s made a fool out of me. I thank my lucky stars that I didn’t give in. As hurt as I am now, I know that I would be leveled if I had spent the night with him and found out that I meant nothing to him.

     As you can imagine, this week has been especially hard for me. I called in sick the day after, feigning food poisoning. I spent most of the day in bed, wrapped up in a blanket and listening to music. Every now and then I’d scroll through my text messages. There were a few from my friends. Even Tess reached out to me, wondering how I was feeling and if she could bring me something. But I didn’t receive a single text or phone message from the one person I wished would reach out to me. The wounds that Jake has inflicted are still open and painful, but even now I still hope that he’ll give me any indication that he regrets what happened; that he didn’t mean any of it. I long for an apology that I know will never come.

     On day two, I grew tired of wallowing in sorrow and I decided to be angry instead. With the exception of anything work-related, I’ve done my best to shut Jake out. Not that he tries to make conversation with me. Either he simply isn’t interested in doing so, or he’s realized that I am going to shut him down completely. I avoid going to Home Bar with the group if he’s included because it’s hard enough working with him. I’ve even contemplated asking for a transfer to the barbecue place. But I’ve decided not to, because I love this job too much and I won’t give him the satisfaction of pushing me out of this place. And besides, I’m resilient. I’ve been through far worse and I can still hold my head up high.

     It’s late Friday morning, and I’m sitting on a bench in Central Park. The sun is shining and people are milling about as I sip my vanilla caramel blended coffee. I’m reading The Lord of the Rings this time, having decided that the love story in Pride & Predjudice isn’t suitable for my mood right now. I’m in the middle of reading the Hobbits’ journey through the Shire when a familiar voice captures my attention.

     “Well, hello there.”

     I look up from my book and find Simone smiling down at me, looking as poised and elegant as ever. I’m a bit startled, to be honest. Simone and I have worked together for two years, and she barely even acknowledges me. There have been times when I wonder if she even knows that I exist. I give her a small smile in return. “Hi.”

     She gestures to the cup I’m holding in my hand. “I see you have a weakness for blended coffees, too.”

     Wait. Is she actually trying to make conversation with me?

     “Yeah. My coffee maker broke down, and I felt like treating myself.” I take a sip, trying to hide my nervousness. This woman intimidates me, and I’m pretty sure she knows it.

     “Do you mind if I sit down?”

     I stop sipping on my coffee and then bookmark the page that I’m on. “Please do.”

     She takes the seat next to me and then leans her head back, closes her eyes and breathes deeply. “Doesn’t that sun feel wonderful?”

     “It does.” Another sip of coffee. Another glance at anything and anyone other than Simone. What does she want?

     “I’m glad I ran into you. I’ve been meaning to ask: how are you feeling?”

     “I’m fine. The food poisoning didn’t last that long. And if you’re talking about my little incident, I’m better.”

     “I’m happy to hear that.” A brief pause, and then: “But that’s not what I’m talking about.”

     I know what she’s alluding to, and I fight the urge to squirm in my seat or run away. “I don’t know what you mean.” Please go away! Please go away!

     Her voice is gentle, and I pick up no hint of patronization. “I’m talking about you and Jake.”

     “What about us?”

     She pauses, as though she’s choosing her words carefully. And then she says, quietly “I know about the other night.”

     Gulp. “What other night?”

     “I know he hurt you.”

     Now I’m feeling defensive. “What? Were you there? Were you listening in?”

     “No.”

     I blink a few times when I realize what she’s getting at. “He told you?”

     “Yes. He didn’t give me the details, but ...”

     I know Jake and Simone are close, but I never even considered the possibility that he’d talk to her about this. Why would he? It’s not something that he’d brag about. And why on Earth would Simone tell me this? I seriously doubt that she’d betray his trust like this.

     “Why are you telling me this?”

     “Because he regrets it. I can tell. I’ve known him for so long, I can read him like an open book.”

     My heart softens a little. But I’m not ready to let it go just yet. He hurt me. Badly. I’m about ready to tell her that Jake can take a flying leap, but her words stop me in my tracks.

     “I also want to ... explain something to you.”

     “Go on.” Why am I still sitting here, listening to all of this? Am I a glutton for punishment?

     And then, she drops a bomb on me.

     “There is something you need to know about Jake. He can be extremely guarded, as you well know.” I nod in agreement. “But what you don’t know is ... he is also ... damaged. There are things that you don’t know. Things only he can tell you. But he’s so badly damaged, and he’s so guarded, that he tends to ... push people away.” She gives me a sympathetic look. “People he cares about. People who get too close.”

     “Why would he do that, though?” None of this makes sense.

     “Because he doesn’t want to hurt them. He doesn’t want to hurt you.”

     I scoff and shake my head. And now, I‘m pissed. “So what you’re telling me is: Jake actually cares for me and he doesn’t want me to get hurt later on. And so, he might as well hurt me now. Is that what you’re telling me? That he’s ... what? Trying to protect me?” She remains surprisingly calm as I suddenly stand up and look down at her. “I don’t know why you told me all of this, or why you even came here. But tell Jake that I don’t need him to protect me. And if he regrets what he said, then he can man up and tell me himself.”

     I don’t give her a chance to respond before I walk away from her. There are too many thoughts and too many emotions brewing inside of me, and I need to find a quiet place to think.

     I’m in the middle of cutting up lemons when I think about my conversation with Simone. Again. No matter how hard I fight it, my mind keeps going back to what she said and the questions the conversation has brought. Does Jake actually care about me? Is he really just trying to protect me? Am I misjudging him, or have I been right this entire time? I wish Simone had never dropped this bombshell on me, because now I’m confused.

     I take another lemon out of the bowl and cut into it when I see Jake in my peripheral. He sets a cutting board down on the bar and begins to cut up some limes, and I can feel the tension rise up in me again. He’s the last person I want to be near. Yet here he is, standing next to me. The audacity! I think about merely gathering everything up and moving away from him, but decide against it and try to pretend that he simply isn’t there. Just as long as he stays outside of my personal bubble, I should be fine.

     I’m about to cut into my sixth lemon when he speaks to me. It’s just one word, but it’s enough to increase the level of my annoyance.

     “Hey.”

     I don’t respond, jaw clenching as I slice up the yellow fruit. Does he honestly think we can go back to business as usual, after the way he spoke to me? Who does he think he is? I’m not in the mood to talk to him, and I make my point by increasing the amount of space between us. There’s a brief moment when I think he’s got the message. But then he’s near me again, and his voice has an almost soothing quality to it when he speaks again.

     “I’m sorry.”

     I don’t even pause long enough to look at him. “I’m sorry.” Is that all he has to offer? Some lame, generic, two-worded phrase that he thinks he can pass off as an apology? A simple “I’m sorry,” isn’t going to cut it. Not when he made me feel cheap and worthless. He hasn’t even acknowledged how deeply he’s wounded me.

     There’s another moment of silence, and now I can tell that he’s bent down a bit so he can look me in the eyes if I give him the chance. “What I said was stupid and cruel, and I didn’t mean any of it. Forgive me?”

     I remain quiet. Though I won’t deny that these are the words that bring my boiling blood down to a simmer. I’ve spent nearly a week hoping that he’d say these things to me. As moved as I am by the apology, I still want to know why. If he didn’t mean what he said, why did he say it? Is Simone right? Was he just trying to protect me in his own very damaged way? Or is this part of a game, too? I don’t know what to believe anymore and --

     “Shit!”

     I allowed myself to become distracted for the briefest of moments, and now I’m paying for it with a cut on my index finger. I don’t think it’s deep, but it hurts. I drop the knife onto the bartop and immediately apply pressure to the wound with a clean bar mop, and Jake is at my side in an instant. Neither of us knows how badly I’m injured, and so he instructs me to keep pressure on the wound and elevate my hand. I do as I’m told and allow Jake to pull me by the hem of my apron as he barks at Will to clean up the area and finish the lemon cutting.

     Jake leads me to a room near the kitchen that has a small sink, two chairs and a First Aid kit. Once I’m seated, Jake grabs the First Aid kit and wets down a cloth with water and a little soap. He sits across from me on the other chair, pulls on a pair of gloves from the kit, and says “Give me your hand.” I obey without hesitation and watch as he very gently cleans the area and then inspects the wound. “Doesn’t look like it’s deep enough for stitches.” He carefully applies a bit of antibiotic ointment and then covers the wound with a bandage.

     Even though Jake’s task is done, he is still holding my hand in both of his. The rational part of my mind is telling me to pull my hand away. But the irrational part - the one that wants him, even now - enjoys the feeling. He looks at me with those piercing blue eyes of his, and I melt.

     “I meant what I said, Lilah,” he says. “I’m sorry.”

     I stare at him, studying his face. I can’t find a trace of insincerity. Only the pleading look of a man who knows he’s hurt me. “I know,” I answer, and then I choose my words carefully. “But it’s not enough, Jake. I want an explanation.”

     “Lilah, I --”

     “Is everything okay in here?”

     Jake and I turn to look at Will, who’s standing in the doorway. His eyes fall to our hands, and we immediately pull away like we’re two naughty children who’ve just been caught. While Jake tosses the gloves into the garbage and puts the antibiotic back in the First Aid kit, I tell Will that “Everything’s fine,” and then brush past him.

     Will lingers in the doorway for a few seconds, watching Jake suspiciously, and then follows me back to the bar area. I step behind the bar and go back to work, not the least bit surprised when he asks me “Is there something between you and Jake?”

     I look over at him, seeing the concern in his eyes. Like everyone else in this restaurant, Will is perfectly aware of the reputation Jake has. I know he’s just looking out for me. But to be honest, I’m not ready to answer his question. I just give him a look - one that tells him I don’t want to talk about it - and he leaves without another word.

@anastacia-lynn

@mypsychoticlove

#jake x oc sweetbitter #jake sweetbitter #sweetbitter jake #sweetbitterstarz #tom sturridge sweetbitter #tom sturridge

[angeldiaries777]

the best revenge thats even better than karma is just leaving the person alone to deal with the awful person that they are by themselevs. bad people have to live with the burden of being awful those people are the real insecure ones. or they're sociopaths if they still continue to harm people but dont feel anything. i promise you what goes around will come around eventually. i dont believe in karma specifically actually but your actions will come back to you because everything you do has a consequence in this life and in this world. dont be surpised if acting like a narcissist with no charm or kindness gets no one to like you. i dont associate with bad people. something i learned the hard way this year isthat it does not matter how good your heart is or whateevr blah blah you have to actually be a good fckn person for me to allow you into my life. you are your actions as much as you want to pretend you're not you 100% are. i hate how shallow and egotistical society is nowadays everyone does everything for the approval of everyone else while also being way too self centered. sometimes thats okay but im tired of living that way. think what you want of me. my family and my friends and the people in this world that i care about and care about me know exactly who i am and love me for it. i dont care if none of this matters i know the reason i am still alive and on this earth is to be a good true person and i dont care how terrible and oblivious a lot of people are i will never stoop to their level. i dont want people to think of me and feel regret, fear, pain or a knot in their stomach i want people to think of me and think of a good person who does what she wants. yes peoples opinions of you dont matter more than your own and yes people are going to hate regardless sometimes but i wanna strive to be good to myself. i dont want to be another loser that doesnt try to be anything greater than mediocre. i am simply not wired like that. when i set my mind to something it always works out. everynight i go to bed with a clear conscience and pure heart and that is enough for me to continue work on myself and forgive myself. this post will sound contridictary to those who dont get it. but to those who get it it will click for you and make perfect sense. i realized who the fuck i am and the people i was putting on a pedestal didnt belong there at all. we all bleed. we all die. look around you and live life for what it is. stop being so in your own head. NOTHING IS REAL CREATE YOUR BEST LIFE WITH THE BEST PEOPLE AND LIVE. just live. sometimes things really are that simple

[bi-bard]

my predictions for who i'll write about in stories inspired by the songs that might be on the deluxe edition of Noah Kahan's "Stick Season"

So.

Noah Kahan has been busy working on the deluxe version of Stick Season... and teasing it on his TikTok.

Just for a bit of fun, I wanna give some prediction on what I think each song we've heard (so far) will inspire me to write because we all know that I'm going to write stories for them.

Again, this is just for fun. This is not set in stone because I don't know the whole songs... or even which of these are going to make the album, so... yeah.

It's just using clips from his videos.

Also, this starts from the most recent audio shared and then goes down the list of videos.

SPECIAL NOTE: I have absolutely no idea how many of these are actually going to end up on the deluxe album. I simply don't. I just kept going until I got tired. Sorry.

---------------------------

"Medicate / meditate / swear your soul to Jesus / throw a punch / fall in love / give yourself a reason..."

I think this will end up being a Dean Winchester imagine. I think somewhere around season 10 to season 11 because I think that's where we see the most distinct moments of Dean truly seeing himself as something bad and undeserving of love and forgiveness.

"I ain't proud of all the punches that I've thrown / In the name of someone I no longer know / For the shame of being young, drunk, and alone..."

Carmen "Carmy" Berzatto from The Bear. That boy is damaged and messy and I think this song is going to be a great way to look at the pitfalls of the behavior that we see from Carmy in the show.

"So pack up your car / put a hand on your heart / say whatever you feel / be whoever you are..."

I don't have a specific fandom, but I'm looking at a found-family story where the reader says goodbye, either to what they knew before or to their found-family. Mostly because this song reminds me of the scene in Supergirl where everyone is saying goodbye to Winn. I'm juggling between something like Titans or something like Doctor Who.

"I saw the end / it looked just like the middle / got a paper and pen / and a page with no space...."

this story is going to be so personal to me. i can already tell. I'm leaning toward a superhero story or a Supernatural story. A life after being with these people. Maybe that life was scary and seemed pointless, but now that their free, they have to deal with missing what was familiar and the guilt of not feeling grateful enough to something better.

"There's a tiny tourist trap a few miles off the interstate / and I watch as it empties out..."

I don't have a character in mind, but I have an idea that it'll be a very tearful goodbye and kiss and shit. Maybe a reunion too? Maybe?

"Quietly you're coming home from work / Forty hour week minus commute / for a dream of planting flowers on the porch / For now, my love, store-bought will have to do..."

I want to write a childhood friends-to-lover kind of thing, but I'm not sure what it'll be yet. I just know that much.

"I'm the tall glass of water you lost in your kitchen / I'm casually cruel like a senior prediction..."

This could also play as a childhood friends-to-lovers story, but I am not nearly as sold on that one. This one is such a strange one to me. It's very nostalgic but also angry?? I don't know. I'm still thinking about it. I'm kinda thinking that Hannibal might work, but there may be another Hugh Dancy character that would fit better, so I make no promises...

"County line, I'm counting down / mailboxes until my house / This place had a heartbeat / in its day..."

I'm leaning toward Doctor Who on this one. I don't know which Doctor it'll be, but I think it would work out well.

"I hear you call / me somewhere only we know / I'll hold out hope / when my eyes open, you'll show..."

This will be a very sad story. I can promise that. It's about grief and it's very complicated process. I have every intention of writing for that.

#imagine #x reader #fanfiction #noah kahan #supernatural imagine #supernatural fanfiction #dc imagine #supernatural x reader #dc x reader #dc fanfiction #doctor who imagine #doctor who fanfiction #doctor who x reader

[guideoftime]

▴ — @puxrlunae ;; Sheik & Amaron. "You must be tired, because you've been running through my mind all day."

   He’s got nearly every single book on their shelf open around him, a piece of paper in front of him that he was scribbling notes on all in Sheikah. His eyes are exhausted, he’s lit a lantern so that he can see, and the amount of times that Amaron has tried to tug him to bed simply haven’t worked. He’s not doing this for fun, that’s very clear, and there’s a distinct line of stress in his shoulders. The books around him were all in Sheikah, minus a couple that spoke of magic and monsters and legends. He’s been like this for hours and he barely stopped to eat or drink unless Amaron physically demanded him to and placed the food in his lap. 

   Princess Zelda was worried, she had heard some strange and uncomfortable news and she had asked Sheik to look into it. Looking into it had turned into this and once he started there was no clear line for him to stop. Easing the Princess’s worries was what he was supposed to do, working himself to the edge of sanity, exhaustion or even his health was just Sheik. He’s done it before, constantly, when guiding Link on his journey. This, even with Amaron worrying over him, wasn’t anything new. 

   He’s got a headache, his hand is numb from writing and the book he was holding nearly falls from his hands when he nods off for a second. He blinks and tries to get his mind to focus again, tumbling through the pages of it and reading it quickly to try and figure out what exactly the pages were saying. It wasn’t working all that well, his vision had long since stopped reading coherently and he was struggling to keep his head on straight. He was doing his best though, not wanting to screw things up and write down information that wasn’t actually useful. 

   Although the usefulness of any of it was debatable. 

   He picked up the pen and went to write something else down on the paperwork when he heard the sound of Amaron’s voice behind him. He blinks, the book actually tumbling from his hand now and falling into the pile in front of him. He tilts his head up and looks behind him at his husband. He can’t read the expression on his face, it might be amused but there is some frustration in his eyes too. 

   “If that’s a pick up line, dear, you can do a lot better than that.” He teases back, watching Amaron kneel down behind him. A smile spreads on his lips and he reaches his arms up, wrapping them around Amaron’s neck. He turns his body to lean into the other, placing a gentle kiss against his jaw before burying his face in his neck. To lower himself to that level he must have really wanted to get Sheik’s attention. A soft breath of a laugh and he tugs gently at Amaron’s tunic. “Have I been neglecting you all day?” Another tease. “I’m sorry.” More genuine. He doesn’t need to say what for. The Princess was worried, it set him on edge. 

   The last time she worried, the vision–solving the worlds problems protects Amaron but he knows he doesn’t want Sheik protecting him at the extent of himself. Does that stop him from trying? No. And it never would. But Hyrule won’t collapse in a day, if he takes a couple minutes to rest with the person he was trying to protect. 

   He made that mistake once before. 

   “I am here with you.”

#▴ — path / guide of time #puxrlunae #▴ — the eye of truth / asks.