#I agree that those jokes definitely suck coming from cishets | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

koganphrancis · 6 years

Photo

Camless Episode 5

All The Writers Of This Show Are Shit

We had us a brand new writer this week and all we got was the same old same old: OOC, Retconing, and Repeats of Old Story Beats.

I’ll attempt a recap, but this episode really sucked the will out of me.

(gif credit: gallavichlovies)

I’m not going to do my usual character by character recap because frankly some really awful shit went down this week that I’m just going to refer to and not go into in depth. Plus, so much of the episode was tedious repeats of shit the writer had JUST TRIED to say.

We had both Debbie and Ian go knocking on the wrong doors for advice. We had two endless Lip scenes where all that was happening was he was running and riding a motorcycle. Maybe next week he can paint a fence and we can all watch as the paint dries. Liam is sexually molested (off screen, but still) by another child who had been sexually molested. Carl and Frank both get slapped around in sexually-adjacent situations just as the show is once again trying to drive home what’s unacceptable for men to do to women-hey, Shameless, that goes for what’s unacceptable for women to do to men, women to do to other women, and men to do to other men as well. They tried to make “going Fiona” a thing-twice. There were at least four scenes where Frank tried to get an erection. There were endless retcons (more on those to come).

My notes are all over the place and the show’s such a shit pile I can’t even begin to make a smooth narrative out of them, so here’s a list of my observations, saving the Ian shit for last.

Debbie had a running thread through a big part of the episode where she’s literally bored to the point of falling asleep listening to Alex-that is exactly how I feel about their relationship/the Debbie thinks she might be gay storyline. Also, if anyone cares, Debs has completely dropped her equal rights/equal pay fight. She doesn’t even seem to go to work anymore. Later, Debbie goes to visit the lesbians in Fiona’s building (rather than, I don’t know, talking to Vee about her experiences with Svetlana, since that seems maybe more in line with feelings Debbie is experiencing?) and the scene was clearly written in lieu of Shameless ever showing sex scenes anymore.

The blond lesbian, Mel, exposes herself to Debbie in the doorway of her apartment (but sadly for the Netflix fans, her back is to the camera), without establishing if Debbie is not a minor, and then she kisses her in a sloppy slo-mo saliva string sharing close up. Debbie is supposedly stunned stupid by this, but the whole “you like what you like and you don’t have to justify your sexual orientation to anyone” message falls flat. Debbie has ALWAYS been starved for attention, and she misreads any attention she gets from anyone of any sex. Since Matty she’s always equated someone trying to be interested in her as being interested in her sexually. And that kiss wasn’t sexual at all-it too was a form of molestation-it wasn’t asked for or consented to. This show is shit.

Carl meets a young woman at a West Point mixer, the daughter of the scary military officer who is throwing the party. Hello, we’ve done this already with Dom and her scary cop dad. Yawn. Carl films them not having sex after she passes out drunk so he can prove he didn’t molest/rape her, should it ever come in question. At first the young woman is mad (and jumps on him and starts slapping him around, just like Katey Sagal will do in a scene with Frank), but then later she returns Carl’s phone and says she saw he didn’t film them having sex, but there is a recording on there of him having sex with someone else. He says that’s Kassidi, his ex, but fails to let Kelly (the new chick) know she’s dead and he’s an accessory to her murder. And how fucking creepy is it that Carl’s kept sex with his dead ex on his phone? Is that something he’s still watching? Does he get off to it? This show is shit.

Kev and Vee get stuck with Frank in a few scenes, foreshadowing the boring seasons to come, should the show get renewed (why are they still sitting on announcing that, btw?). There’s a subplot for Kev where he’s going to speak at a women’s rally in his new-found position of Vagina Safe consultant, but he wisely bows out when he hears the real hell women face on a regular basis. Why this show is trying to be socially conscious this late in the game I’ll never know. Especially since they’ll keep pulling their bullshit and defend it with “it’s Shameless!” like they’ve always done in the past. This show is shit.

There’s the weekly Fiona/Bored disagreements-this time they’re about little things like music preferences and whether or not Fiona should care about her brother going to prison for up to two decades. Bored winds up singing along to a song to Fiona at the end-it should’ve been Gus Pfender’s Fuck You, Fiona and they could’ve had a cute discussion about Gus being Fi’s ex-husband. This show is shit.

Now Ian. Sigh. Nothing makes sense. Everything’s either a lie or a retcon and we the audience still don’t know which. At breakfast he’s telling the family his plea options, and when Liam questions temporary insanity, Ian rattles off, “Bipolar, off my meds.” So is Ian saying that’s just the definition of the defense he could use, or is he saying “I was off my meds”???? WHY won’t the show give us any answers? There were two significant scenes in Season 8 where he staunchly said he was taking his meds and that he (rightly) was entitled to feel emotions and be angry at times. Are we supposed to think that right about then is when he stopped taking them and then Gay Jesus happened? But if that was the case, why did he stop taking his meds, and now how long has he been off them-or did he start taking them again and now they’re working after being off them for all the GJ stuff PLUS when he was in jail for 9 months? IF he was off his meds for any amount of time but especially a long amount of time (pretty sure an argument could be made he’d been off them since leaving Mickey/Monica dying/stalking boring Terror, blowing that old couple for money), why did his manic phase seem so different than when he was back from the army? Can the show try to explain anything?

Ian and Fiona and Geneva all go to the lawyer’s office-why? There IS such a thing as client-attorney privilege and the lawyer, at least, would ask them to wait outside once the screaming began if not sooner. But oh well. Ian finally says, “Does anyone want to hear what my lawyer has to say?” Me at home: YES!!! Lawyer starts to talk, “I know this judge-he’s under...” Geneva starts yelling again and what gets lost in her bullshit is that later on, the judge is not a he?

Outside Fi asks Ian, “Are all lesbians that dramatic?” I asked last week, I’m asking again: Is Geneva a lesbian? Is this just another retcon? Her initial interactions with Ian seemed like she was crushing on him, that she wanted him, and there’s been nothing about her being a lesbian in canon. I know it’s not important, but the lack of attention to detail on this show contributes mightily to its shittiness.

Suddenly Ian has a question, and he can think of only one place to get an answer (even though Liam was able to Google “what is cocktail attire?” and get an answer in seconds. Ian should’ve asked him to look up his question as well).

Ian goes to the Milkovich house and it’s so fucking OOC I don’t even want to think about it. For whatever reason, Ian politely says, “Hi, Mr. Milkovich,” when Terry answers the door-why would he even bother? Terry’s not big on manners, for one thing, and for another, the last time Ian saw Terry he was flipping him off as he was being carted back to prison. Don’t think Terry’s going to be warmed over by a polite greeting. Anyway, Ian asks him about being in the pen, and Terry says there’s ass and mouth rapings that Ian would probably enjoy, shitty food, and beat downs from the guards. Ian asks if Terry was mouth raped (I think he specified that, I didn’t put it in my notes) and Terry indignantly says that Milkoviches don’t “bottom”. Ian says, “Was Mickey adopted?” and I can’t tell if he was trying to piss Terry off or if he was genuinely curious, but as a joke it didn’t work-Ian knows (or the old Ian did, anyway) better than anyone that Mickey was absolutely nothing like Terry, in any way, not just in sexual preferences. Another OOC comment to just make the viewer weep thinking about the old days. Also, having Terry know, let alone USE, the term bottom was also OOC in the extreme. He might as well have said, “All Milkoviches are cishet.” It would’ve been just as believable.

But back to the scene. Ian says, “Rapings, food, guards-I can handle that shit. I just need to know...” Terry interrupts him. “Anyone can handle that shit. (Again, me at home: Really?) It’s the boredom that’ll kill ya...Start reading books, lifting weights...” (Mickey already told him that about juvie AND prison-how dense is Ian that he never got it?) “But you’re in the same place, with the same assholes, doing the same shit, every second of every minute of every hour of every day of every god damn year. If I was you I’d pack my shit and run.”

Ian’s face while he’s running down all the segments of time seems to look like Terry’s getting through to him. And Terry telling him to take off is actually the best advice Ian winds up getting-in the long run Terry seems to care about keeping Ian out of prison more than his own family. Terry easily could’ve slammed the door in Ian’s face and ignored him. Does that mean I forgive Terry at all for everything he did to Mickey, Mandy, and Ian-not to mention his other sons and Svetlana? FUCK NO. But how telling is it that this show is now so bad that a villainous piece of shit like Terry is the one character we are listening to and agreeing with?

One last thing about Terry-he just got out, but he knows Mickey’s in Mexico? How? I’m hoping this is a set up for Ian being able to find Mickey next week (or at the end of the season if we have to wait that fucking long), but this show doesn’t do continuity anymore, so I’m sure there’s no logical explanation for Terry knowing that fact.

Fi goes to the Gallagher house looking for Ian and finds an empty box of hair dye, and a towel stained with hair dye, and that Ian’s drawers are empty. I also noticed that his pillow was gone-did he pack that up too? If so, I’m hoping it’s because he and Mickey shared it and he wanted to keep some part of Mick with him always, but we know this show ain’t about that anymore. Anyway, Fi goes and tells Lip she thinks Ian skipped bail and they have to go find him. Lip says no, Ian’s an adult. This conversation also just took place with Debbie-or takes place right after, the show was so boring I couldn’t keep the repeated scenes straight if you put a gun to my head.

WHY are the siblings so uncaring about Ian going to prison-or getting caught as a fugitive and spending even more time there? WHY is everyone so stupid about whether prison is “bad” or not, especially for their apple cheeked, puppy-eyed brother who is dealing with mental illness? Who may or may not be off his meds at any given time? Ian couldn’t even handle VISITING Mickey in prison, why does he suddenly think he could do a stretch of multiple years if not decades? All those years stealing cable and watching bootleg DVDs, did none of the Gallaghers ever watch Oz? In a prior season it was established that Lip has read so much he was able to determine a Louis Vuitton purse was authentic by the stitching and the lettering-he’s never read about prisons and how they affect young men that are in them for a period of time? “Hardened criminal” is a phrase he’s never come across? Lip doesn’t realize how hard Ian’s future as a convicted felon will be when he gets out? Trying to find a job (especially one with medical benefits), a place to live, all that stuff? This show is shit.

There’s a meaningless shot of Ian at the train station (we don’t even get to know where he was planning to run to-as if we didn’t know-show us he’s at least headed south, you bastards!) and then there’s a scene where Lip comes home in the dark to find Ian at the kitchen table eating ice cream right out of the Edy’s carton. (They don’t show us the flavor-it looked like it might be chocolate chip? I didn’t see any chunks of cookie dough or anything. Again, this is only important because everything else is so boring that actually knowing what kind of ice cream Ian likes would be interesting in comparison.)

I guess the ice cream is sort of a metaphor? Ian’s last sweet taste of freedom? Or maybe I’m reading too much into it and they just came up with something for the brothers to share and it couldn’t be beer-because of Lip, not because of Ian’s meds because god knows they never cared about that, plus we STILL don’t know if he’s just magically back on them-if he is, how is he paying for them? Anyway, after Lip’s earlier attitude about Ian being an “adult” and not caring all that much about him ever, he doesn’t deserve ice cream! Here’s a snippet of their dialogue:

Lip: So you didn’t run. Ian: Oh no-I ran. I just...ran back. (well, at least that’s in character since he ran away to the army and came back, and ran away with Monica and came back, and the fucking Mexican border, but I’m not happy about that fact)

They start listing the things Ian will miss if he’s gone for the next ten years. Debbie may be married to a woman (I would think her being divorced is more likely, but whatever, I won’t be around to watch it either, I’m gone as soon as Ian’s back with Mickey), Carl will be a war criminal, Liam will be the father of a ten year old, Frank, dead. Ian asks Lip, “You?” “Still in AA, if I haven’t drunk myself to death.” Ian says, “Do me a favor? Don’t.” IAN CARES MORE ABOUT LIP THAN LIP CARES ABOUT IAN. Always has, always will. “Lip deserves to get out of the ghetto.” But Lip’s fine with Ian going off to prison because of the whole Gay Jesus thing that he never even began to try to understand or help Ian find a way out of. This show is shit.

Next there’s a scene of Ian in a suit, dressed for court and talking to his Bible that’s on his bed (still no pillow-weird). He’s asking Shim to talk to him one last time, maybe give him a hint what he should do. His voice is soft and pleading and he’s almost in tears and all I can think is he needs Mickey to talk things out with. Lip comes to the door and says something like they’re all downstairs, it’s time or whatever. Ian gives the Bible one last look and seems to do a little wink-did he hear something from Shim? Would it kill this show to let us in on some things? This show is shit.

His plea hearing was so factually inaccurate it hurt. His lawyer doesn’t say anything, and when asked what he pleads Ian launches into his entire defense. And the judge lets him. OMGJ.

Again I’m pretty sure I’m witnessing a retcon when Ian says “A young man was being forced against his will into a van to be taken to a conversion camp.” Um, as I recall (and I won’t rewatch the episodes to get all the exact details, they were too stupid), a young runaway came to the Church of Gay Jesus and claimed his parents were trying to make him get conversion therapy and they were giving him drugs so he couldn’t get erections because they didn’t like the fact that he was gay, but when Ian talked to the dad he said the kid ran away on his own because he suffered from mental illness, was off his meds, and was living on the street and prostituting himself. As I recall the dad/parents didn’t say anything about conversion, they just wanted him home. Maybe the dad sought help from the guys in the van because there was no other way to get the kid home-none of this has been established for the court, if nothing else! This show is shit.

Ian gives a speech in a voice like wimpy Jeremiah trying to convince everyone Jerome was the bad one and it was just lame. He claims his family loved him unconditionally-since when? They only gave him crap about being with Mickey, or ignored him. And then when he became “like Monica” there were definitely conditions on loving him-mainly that he be on his meds. Right up to this episode they were all going around saying it’s time to let him go-they didn’t love him enough to want to keep him at the house and try to help him!

Anyway, he then states in open court he was off his meds and in a manic state when he torched the van. Then he looks back at Fiona and starts to give a tiny smile right before the credits. Was he lying to get a lighter sentence and he’s smiling because he got away with it? Or does he look to her like that because he knows she’ll be proud of him for finally telling the truth even if it disappoints/ruins the GJ movement (that is so implausible as a concept it makes my head ache)?

By next week the show will be in another writer’s hands and I’ll never get the answer to that question either, I bet. IF this means the-fucking finally-end to the GJ storyline, I’ll have to be happy enough with that.

In conclusion let me say that once again the only “great” thing about the episode was ZERO mention of Terror!

But the rest of the show was shit.

#Recap #Season Nein Episode 5 #Nobody wants it #So much to hate in this week's episode #They keep finding new depths to sink to

13 notes · View notes

plussizepanda · 7 years

Photo

A saga in three parts: or why cishet men are literally the worst. As many of you know, while I am ~partnered~ or whatever you want to call it, we are both open to seeing other people, and when this man came along and started a flirtationship, I was open to it and reciprocated. (Although I should have trusted my first instinct against ever dating someone who approaches me using a lurker account based on a second rate Simpsons character that died in one episode, but I digress.) Honestly, sometimes my naïveté regarding men shines through brighter than Rihanna's Swarovski titties, and this was definitely one of those moments. We were vibing over chat. He knew his shit when it came to music. I never saw a pic before we met, because, hey, I'm asexual, and that generally doesn't really matter to me, if I vibe I vibe. I was having a meeting downtown, and he mentioned he was gonna be in the area. I was half joking when I said "you should take me for dinner" and kind of shocked when he said sure. I met up with him by his landmark car. I won't tell you what it was in case you live here, as I don't really care to fuck with him that badly. I'm only writing this because writing helps me process trauma. He takes me to a smoke lounge, and we blaze which is great cause I hadn't smoked all day and my pain was an 11 on the 10 scale. Maybe that's why I felt so at ease around him - when someone can make your pain go away you appreciate them. Then we go for wings, and I tell him not to make fun of the way I eat. We talk through the whole meal. He's sweet - corrects himself when he accidentally uses gendered language, listens attentively, and doesn't make fun of the way I eat wings. We decide afterwords to go for a walk, and then ice cream, and then a drive. We post up and smoke again, and talk for another couple hours. I'm impressed at this point - not that he's spending on me or that he has a cool car, but because he's genuinely interesting and smart and funny and talkative. The date is something out of a romantic comedy. But yknow, something always has to go wrong in the movies. The next day we're both busy with other things, but continued to text during the day when we could. I was seeing my person, and was excited to share this with him cause I knew he would be happy for me, which he was! He was super excited and even helped me pick an outfit for our next date which was to be the following night. The date day came and we were chatting about the night to come. We were going to a show, and decided to meet at the venue. He again, decided of his own volition to flex, and paid to upgrade me to a seated ticket so we could have a place to sit. The show was amazing, he let my friends sit in the seats with us, and didn't make fun of how emotional and loud I was. Burlesque does that to me. When we left he was charming as I schmoozed with other dancers and introduced myself. He was polite to my friends. He was a gentleman and put his arm around me when I was cold. After the show we went to chill and smoke and talk. I got very philosophical, as I do, and spent a lot of time explaining my trauma. I don't know how he managed to do it, but I swear he used my stories as a guidebook to his own treatment of me. We pulled outside of my apartment and talked for another few minutes, but we both had to work, so I said that I wouldn't keep him too late. That was a laugh because of what happened next. He asked for a kiss. Now a normal person on a good date when they're vibing and feeling shit and happy, would be happy to share a smooch. But I'm not normal, and it takes me time to allow that level of intimacy in my life. Well, he took great offence to this and decided at that moment that he was no longer feeling me. Funny how that works, eh? I tried to explain why I couldn't do it, and that I knew how it was because guys reject me like this all the time (to which his response was "I'm coming to you as an individual not as a representative of men" but I mean.... he did everything the same as like 98% of the men I've ever dated so...). But I was getting flustered and having a panic attack.... I wanted to calm down before I left the car but he kept just pushing the topic and making me more anxious. Finally he said something so incredibly fucked up that it made me snap into full black out panic mode, but managed to leave the car: "then let me see your breasts". Nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope. I got out exclaiming how fucked up it was. I was shaking. I was shaking so hard it hurt. My heart was racing as I ran upstairs to my apartment. I don't remember chaining my door but I must have. I felt unsafe. I felt violated. I shook and shook and tried to reach my person. He finally texted me back and managed to talk me down enough that I could get to sleep. I did, after all, have to work in the morning. Waking up was painful. Getting ready was painful. I didn't feel comfortable in my skin. My skeleton wanted to leave my body. I opted for a casual outfit and light makeup because I felt like if I dressed nicely, something else bad might happen. I am still feeling like I can't dress the way I want to right now. Like somehow this was my fault for showing my body. On my way to work I had posted something to my Instagram about how boundaries are meant to be respected and that it was not fair that it had happened to me. That I should be expected to concede on my personal boundaries to make someone else happy. That's been my entire life so far, so tbh I'm pretty shocked that I managed to stand my ground on this one. But I did. And then the comments started. Eye roll emojis... references to trauma I had spoken of... references to my partner not being on his level.... he deleted them, of course, because why not gaslighting as well as trauma. I once again explained via text that what he did was incredibly fucked up, and he continued to say that he had treated me fairly - which I would have agreed with until the point he said show me your boobs, but apparently that was just a tactic to get me out of his car. I said I understood that he was out - it fucking sucked because I actually liked him and if he had the patience to maybe wait one more date I would have granted him that ever sought after kiss, but I have the feeling he wouldn't have stopped there. He lorded all the money he had spent on me over me. He had also done that the night before, approximately 30 minutes after we had discussed that I don't appreciate when people do things like that, because if you're going to do good, you do it out of the kindness of your heart. I left the remaining comments up on the post because accountability is important to me. He posted one more comment calling me a clown, and added to his insta story a single image of the clown emoji on a black background. I screencapped that one, but again, I'm not a character assassin so I'll refrain from including it in this. I'm only writing to help manage this trauma. I'm blocked now. I've also blocked him on insta. I have all his texts apparently, but it's best not to obsess over this any more. I've already wasted an entire day feeling bad. It hurts, but I'll get over it. I'm sure in a year I won't even remember his name. And he'll still be bitter like a Springfield lemon.

#tw: abusive language #tw: manipulation #plussizepanda writes #about me

6 notes · View notes