#I also feel like it doesn’t really need any more people recommending it tbh
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How I entered the void so easily after 1 year of trying
So after 1 year and half of trying to enter I finally did it and I am so mad because it REALLY IS SOOOOO EASY and tbh if in this post you are looking for any sort of validation or info you smart ass already know then please REMEMBER THIS : entering the void is extremely easy. You just have to do it in a way that resonates with you.
Personally for me since I had adhd I couldn’t just stay still and affirm for 1 or even a few for 10 mins. Not just because I was lazy but because just repeating “I am in the void” for so long gets me tired and makes me think of the void more and you actually don’t want to think too deeep about it. I couldn’t wake 3 hours prior and then affirm or even have the patience to do the psych k, yes I was extremely lazy back then and unpresistent but one thing that helped me even backed then was THE ALPHA STATE MEDITATION !
You just have to find what works for you, find a method technique whatever you want to do that doesn’t seem like a chore. So In a post back then I found on @gorgeouslypink acc talking about doing the alpha sate meditation and I tried it back then and I felt really relaxed and it was a good feeling but like I said back then I was realllly lazy so after a few mins I stopped. Then many months later passed and I was still looking for anything and everything on the void. Then just like two days ago I came across another post which was pretty simple and the technique I used was called the DISTRACTED TECHNIQUE.
All there was to do was the usual you get into a comfortable position and then she said to use the alpha state meditation and used the one gorgeouslypink recommended. So I used it and then what she tell you to do is to just think of anything else just get distracted basically and this WAS SO GOOD 4 ME because back then I had adhd so it made it harder to concentrate on just affirming and so yeah I just thought of random things and then at some point where I was completely distracted I felt my body like lift up 😭 if that makes sense I just can’t clearly describe it. It felt really like a shift and I was like ‘panicking’ in a way but I wasn’t actually panicking I just kinda became aware what was going and then I got scared a little but I just relaxed shortly after. Also my fan that was making like a loud noises was coming in an out and then I only hear it in one ear and then I didn’t hear anything and I just stayed there wondering if I reached the void and i actually was!!! I didn’t feel my body it felt like I had no body at all and it was pitch black just like how I imagined the void to be. For a few minutes I just stayed there feeling the most surreal peace I have ever felt. I needed that peace fr 💀.
So then I affirmed for my desires all I said was “I have all my desired results from my subliminal playlist.” Then just to be extra sure I just said “I have everything I want.”
At that point I got really excited and then I wiggled my toes to get out because I was too dam happy I needed to see all my shit the moment I wake up and then I slowly started getting out and when I tell you I cried for like a good dam minute when I woke up and saw how DIFFERENT. My room looked. I literally screamed onto my pillow. I was so dam scare and yet excited to see how I looked.
WHAT I MANIFESTED :
Desired body and face
Having silky straight tailbone length hair cuz mines was originally curly
And everything in my sub playlist
My desired boyfriend and guys I made him be like Gojo Satoru ( because we are all delusional over him 🤪) and let me tell you he is so tall, handsome, sexy and a literal god. He is so silly too 🩷
Moving countries I now live in ny
Never actually meeting my ex and all the people in my old school forget me and have actually never even met me. Like if u asked them about me they have never heard or known me before
Extremely rich rich like hella bands
Got rid of my anxiety and mental health issue
Plus +++
NEVER EVER GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS.
Even if the circumstances seem to be eating you alive don’t mind that too much. Even if all seems hopeless don’t give up because you already know nothing can decide or be unless you give it power to be. So stop being goofy and take responsibility and DONT STRESS!! You don’t see God stressing do you. All he has to do is blink and whatever he wants to happen, happens. Plus a lot of confidence came from non dualism that I owe a huge thanks to @trynafindbarbiee she really said it like it is !!
YOU GOT THIS ML 🩷🩷🩷🩷
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Hii! This is my first time trying this, but do you have any advice for starting and building a writing blog?
I've been wanting to start one for a while but I'm not sure how to gain followers and stuff.
hi!! no worries :D and tbh.. i’m not exactly sure LMAO despite it seeming like i have my shit together i Do Not. but!! i can give you some general things/ideas:
write for yourself. write what makes you happy and what you genuinely want to write. despite how much of a people-pleaser i am, it’s also really important to remember that this is a hobby and if you write things you don’t really want to write, it’s going to show through your work but it’s also going to burn you out quickly.
(that said, if you are writing for x reader content make sure your reader is ambiguous. having a character be a 5’4 brunette with a knack for baking is cool sometimes, but it’s also a very slim audience and it’s going to throw some people off)
similarly, don’t compare yourself to other creators and don’t compare yourself to.. yourself. if you have something that does really good, and then you post the next week and it does shit, that’s okay! sometimes tumblr algorithm is just shit. sometimes certain characters are more of a fan favorite. but, also remember that people who have already built a large following are going to have more notes. just don’t get discouraged easily — every fic is something entirely new and it shouldn’t be weighed off of someone else or an entirely different work.
make a masterlist, and make it organized. if you write for a lot of characters and use different posting types this can get really confusing, but look around at other places or play around with it until you find something that you think feels right.
watch your blog activity (once you start posting, anyway). i believe mobile doesn’t have it, but on desktop (or just login to tumblr from your phones browser app lol) there is a little icon that will show interactions with your posts/blog and you can ask it to show the chart based on time of day, weekly basis, etc. post accordingly to that, and hopefully your posts will gain a little more traction :)
aesthetic is (unfortunately) pretty important in my opinion. of course, if you have the most well written thing i’ve seen i’m going to ignore the kinks but i’m also going to be a lot more likely to read things that are organized well. this is mostly about fics to catch someone’s eye, although this bleeds into your actual blog as well.
(pinterest has lots of cool stuff for aesthetics. twitter layout blogs also usually have a lot of good headers. if you want dividers, you can search the “dividers” tag on tumblr or there’s loads of mobile apps to get the thin color strip dividers like i use.)
similarly, try to make your pinned/navi organized and easy to follow. in my personal opinion, i like adding things like rules/dni, tag guides, and especially masterlists linked somewhere in the post. although, again, it’s up to personal opinion on what exactly you want to link there. as long as it’s organized and somewhat simple, you’re good.
as far as a masterlist and rules go, i would recommend laying out certain things beforehand, like what characters you’re going to write for and hard “no”s. as much as i love people on tumblr, sometimes they just cannot read — it helped me a lot whenever i was new to tell myself “hey, i don’t have to do that. it says that right here and it’s not my fault that they didn’t see that!”
(i also added a little rule that said “if you actually read this, add a ‘<3’ in your asks so i know” LOL it helped me filter requests between who actually cared to read my rules and who didn’t)
add tags to your fics. add so many tags. add many more tags than you think you probably need. add so many tags that you get sick of them — that’s how people are going to find you.
try to keep anonymous asks on, that’s where a lot of interaction comes from. ik people can be dicks sometimes but there’s also a lot of shy people on tumblr. probably 90% of my asks are from anons and i use anon 90% of the time whenever i send asks (especially to my moots bc they’re scary :[ lol)
just generally be nice to people. you don’t have to go out of your way to send love letters to everyone on your feed, but i’ve found that just leaving a little “i hope you enjoy reading this” or something similar as a little note helps my mental for some reason, but it also (hopefully) makes me seem a little less intimidating
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Adventures in MTAS datamining (pt. 1/?: art assets)
Because I am incredibly normal about this game, I’ve been poking around in the game’s files (and MTAP’s, too) pretty much ever since I got it. Unity games are pretty easy to datamine, since tools are already out there, which is incredibly fortunate for fueling the hyperfixation. I wanted to share some of the more interesting things I’ve found on my travels. Spoiler warning: There are some midgame spoilers below (i.e. starting with the water tower). There’s also one thing that might be a future spoiler, which is at the very end and marked accordingly.
General disclaimer: If you’re curious to try datamining out yourself, feel free to ask me for how-to’s, but please be careful! Never edit the game’s files directly. Make copies and back up your save files. You’ll also need a good amount of RAM (I recommend at least 16 GB) to be able to handle tools like AssetStudio, since you’ll be loading assets directly into memory. And MTAS has a lot of assets. You may also encounter unreleased future content in there...so preemptive spoiler warning for that as well.
Since there’s so much to dig through, this post will only focus on some of the art/visual things. These can either be found under StreamingAssets > AssetBundles, or StreamingAssets > AssetBundles > art_asset. I can’t really comment too much on the 3D assets (meshs, textures) since I don’t know too much about modeling, but here are some other interesting things I found!
Cutscene thumbnails
You can find thumbnails of the cutscenes without the builder in them. The in-game album uses different thumbnails, which look like screenshots taken when it’s playing for the first time (hence why skipping a cutscene won’t put it in your album). Some of them actually really nice. Wallpaper-worthy, even.
The one they use for the kidnapping cutscene is incredible.
(ask people who don’t play mtas to caption this image.)
Newspaper photos
In The Tumbleweed Standard, the monthly issues are accompanied by these photos. Something about the filter makes it look pretty. Here are my personal favorites:
Family photos
You ever wanted to see the photos in the NPCs’ houses up close? Now you can! They’re all super sweet. Welllll, most of them.
(My favorite one’s the one with babby Heidi 😭 [far right, midway down])
It’s still unfortunately kinda blurry, since they’re meant to show up pretty small in-game. Hopefully you’re still able to see them.
Here’s a bit of a buffer before the last thing I have to show, since it’s probably the one thing that could be a future spoiler. If it is, it’s probably fairly minor. Hop off now if you don’t want that.
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Fine with maybe being spoiled? Alright, here we go...
Lastly, I leave you with a forbidden image:
...I’m sorry, who is this???
So, uh...Qi has an alternate set of character art. No other character has one (except Elsie for story reasons). I assume this’ll be a DLC outfit, like those in MTAP? Kinda weird how only one would be loaded into the files so far. The asset name doesn’t really give any pointers, it’s just marked as “Qi2″. It only exists as character art, no model or texture or anything like that.
So is this past Qi? Future Qi?? Qi for one day if he’s forced to wear something nice for a change??? It looks like the neat and complete version of his normal outfit. You can see the same shirt and tie, same pants (except they aren’t rolled up at the ankles anymore?), same shoes. I’m also just now noticing that his suit jacket’s the same color as the mobile suit, haha funni joke. Again, not a single other character besides Elsie has an alternate outfit yet in these files. What is this for?! I have no fuckin clue, but I can say that Qi cleans up pretty nicely 👀
(kinda wish he kept the messy hair, tbh. doesn’t really look right without it)
And that’ll wrap up this little datamining dive! I’ll probably come back to the art in the future, once more gets added, or if I find some other things to share. In the next parts, I’ll be showing off some of the audio and text data, but I do want to wait until future game updates for some of it. Hope you found this as interesting as I do!
Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to continue reeling from the psychic damage that full-suited Qi’s done to my poor little brain.
ETA: i just realized that it looks like the fucking onceler’s outfit. i am deeply sorry for putting the image of onceler qi in your head
or am i
Edit 2: Unfortunately, as of several beta builds pre-release, full suit Qi has largely been removed. The full art version isn’t in the files anywhere, but there are still some map icons of him. Not sure if this is something for postgame content or a romantic mission they didn’t have time to add. We’ll have to see :P
ngl i kinda prefer scruffy qi over this lol
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Fluffy fanfic rec list
On one of my Discord servers people were talking about how people seem more likely to recommend angsty fic, so I decided to put together a fluff rec list, just for fun! This is gonna be a variety of fandoms, wordcount length, genres, etc. -- the common factor is I like ‘em and they turned up when I search “fluff” in my bookmarks. I’ll point out if any are nsfw
ATLA
see your son rising at last by aloneintherain -- ATLA -- 6.5k words -- Iroh & Zuko 5+1 things fic
North by ryfkah -- ATLA -- 300 words -- short & sweet Appa POV fic
definitely not suspicious at all in the least by presumenothing -- ATLA -- 1k words -- post-canon Gaang shenanigans
All The Gentle Creatures by Haicrescendo -- ATLA -- 10k words -- animals love Zuko, he’s basically a Disney Princess
Yuri!!! On Ice
see you next level by verity -- YoI -- 1.5k words -- Yuuri, Viktor & Phichit get drunk & watch TV, Yuuri & Viktor continue to be the most adorably sappy couple
Friendship!!! Is Magic by afrai -- YoI & OHSHC -- 10k words -- Yuuri & Haurhi meet at a conference and become friends. Viktor & Tamaki make fools of themselves (but what else is new)
Howl’s Moving Castle (mostly bookverse)
Second Time Lucky by labellementeuse -- HMC -- 5.5k words -- Howl & Sophie plan their wedding (lol i spelled that “weeding” on the first try... also accurate). As you might expect for these two it doesn’t go without some hiccups.
Could it be magic? by SpiritedYoungLady -- HMC -- 500 words -- Howls comes back from night with the rugby club, and Sophie is unamused
Fulllmetal Alchemist (mostly bhood/manga)
All That Describes a Joyful Heart by anthrop -- FMA -- 3k words -- Hohenheim & Trisha cook together during a winter storm & they are simply TOO ADORABLE. Features some Xerxian cultural headcanons inspired by Nowruz (Persian New Year) traditions!
And They Were ROOMMATES by Turbulent_Muse -- FMA -- 30k words -- Modern AU in which college student!Ling moves into a haunted house, but since the rent is too good to pass up, he decides to try and befriend the demon. Greedling friendship & adventure fic.
Science for People Who Hate Science by Tierfal -- FMA -- 66k words -- Royed Modern AU, but even if you dislike that ship you might want to give this one a chance; it’s really more of an origfic about two characters losely inspired by Roy & Ed. They run a goofy educational youtube channel and are two dorks in love. Al shows up to make fun of them sometimes. It’s a good time!
The Sleeping Horror of Whiskerford by Eltea -- FMA -- 3.5k words -- another modern AU, in which the gang (Ed, Al, Winry, Riza, Roy, Hughes) plays D&D. Worth it for Ed’s character sheet alone, but overall just a hilarious & fun time.
A Clowder of Cats by Batsutousai -- FMA -- 4k words -- post-canon (a more-or-less canon universe fic for once!), Al settles down and adopts a bunch of cats (AS HE DESERVES)
Teen Wolf
the butt is a gift by lazulisong -- Teen Wolf -- 1.5k words -- Stiles is pinned to the couch by cats. I think this is part of a larger AU but tbh I don’t care: Stiles, cats, relatable dilemmas, what more do I need?
When the Bough Breaks by The Feels Whale (miscellea) -- Teen Wolf -- 12k words -- A bit of a weird one, but sometimes I like my TW fic weird. post-canon-ish/canon-divergence with endgame Sterek; Stiles is on the outs with Derek’s pack until they learn that he’s adopted a baby, and then they’re suddenly all over to dote on her. I actually really mostly liked this for Stiles’ single parent struggles and (platonic) relationship with the baby’s birth mother, the werewolf stuff & romance was cute but mostly incidental.
Misc fandoms
it's a new craze by attheborder -- Good Omens -- 5k words -- Crowley & Aziraphale start an advice podcast
Hot Springs and New Beginnings by CorundumBleu -- Hollow Knight -- 3k words -- in a good ending universe, Quirrel, the Knight, and The Last Stag relax at a hot springs and discuss hopes for the future. I recommend looking through CorundumBleu’s other HK fics as well -- there’s a couple other good fluff fics in there and some most angsty but still amazing stories! (I’m biased: CB is my sister & I helped edit these, but still, I think they’re great!)
Sufficient by atheilen -- The Goblin Emperor -- 2k words -- deaged!Maia; in which everyone and particularly Beshelar shows how much they care for and cherish Maia.
Sick Day by avg (AnxiousEspada) -- The Murderbot Diaries -- 4k words -- Overse & Arada are sick; Ratthi and later Murderbot visit to help them out. “To everyone’s surprise, a feverish Overse is SecUnit approved humor-fuel.” (P.S. if you like this fic consider checking out my sequel to it!)
Thrilling Night! Romantic Adventure at the Video Rental Store! by Masu_Trout -- Undertale -- 2.5k words -- wonderful Outsider POV of an employee at a video rental store who gets the admittedly uncertain priviledge of helping Alphys and Undyne pick out a movie to rent for their date night. I’m still not over the movie they end up picking, OMG.
Gonna add a reblog with BNHA, Natsuyu, Gravity Falls, and maybe some HP recs tomorrow.
Also, if you like these fics and know of more like them, feel free to let me know! I’m always taking fic recs (I’m slow to get around to them but I WILL save your recs for later) :P
#not atla#but also atla#fic recs#fanfic#yoi#hmc#fma#teen wolf#good omens#the goblin emperor#the murderbot diaries#undertale
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Umm umm, so i saw the dating hcs for the tbhk characters,, and they were to fluffy omg
Can I request dating hcs of Akane Aoi (girl), Sakura and Teru, if its all right?? Feel free to deny!!
fhshdj youre my first ask :D ty for requesting and ofc ill write this! 💗
TBHK DATING HCS PART 2
here is part 1! <3
notes: i feel like these are longer than the first part :D also i wrote most of this at 12am so sorry if some parts don’t make sense :’)
warnings: slight chapter 72 spoilers in terus, but nothing major
word count: 0.5k
AOI AKANE
picnic dates :D
if you dont want to go out then snuggling on her bed (which has lots of squishmallows) and watching anime!
shes very affectionate of you, always hugging you
teases you a lot, leaving you flustered and giggling
like you’ll be sitting there studying and she’ll just say ”youre so beautiful!”
aoi will talk to nene about you constanly
nene says she wishes someone would love her the way aoi loves you
other people are jealous of you but aoi says she’ll protect you!
you have sleepovers with nene and akane sometimes
they feel like third wheels but its fun!
you also have sleepovers on your own sometimes
she does your makeup because i hc shes good at it and my opinions are superior /j
you have matching necklaces that make a heart
you also have matching pfps on social media
she would be a great gf and love you so much! :D
SAKURA NANAMINE
study/library dates!
sakura likes nature so your dates are there often as well
maybe a combination of both dates!
she doesnt show affection a lot but she really does adore you
she finds it awkward to hug someone or snuggle them if shes the one initiating it
but i feel she would be the big spoon lol
she would like to stroke your hair, tucking it behind your ear as you fall asleep on her chest
she would open up to you more and talk about her interests
she’ll help you with any studying if you need it
shes really good at helping you with homework or helping you to prepare for a test
if youre a reader thats something you bond over too! :D
she likes to recommend books to you often
shows you her crystal collection she has (because crystals are a sakura thing)
theres quite a few and theyre all really pretty
she’ll even let you keep one if you’d like!
you also paint together, she even painted you once
i hc shes a good painter so she’ll help you with anything your confused about :D
she may not say it much but she loves you a lot <3
TERU MINAMOTO
again, study dates
also karaoke dates
which is basically canon
he likes to hold your hand in public but at school people get jealous
he doesnt really care though
if you’re friends with hanako he’ll be kind of upset but it doesn’t affect how he feels about you
lets you wear his jacket
tbh easily jealous lmao
likes to hug you in public or hold your hand so everyone knows your dating him, that you are his s/o
he also has kissed you a few times in public leaving you flustered and happy
teru will recommend books to you that he has read
he likes when you lie in his lap
or just snuggling in general
you’ll come over his house and you’ll just cuddle in bed :D
big spoon but also little spoon
teases you but not too much
he would take you to a rooftop to watch the sunset together
plans very romantic things for anniversaries or birthdays
but not ordinary things, they have to be special just like you :]
matching bracelets! 💗
teru would be a very good bf! :)
#— hcs by moon. 🕰#— written by moon. 🕰#tbhk#toilet bound hanako kun#jshk#jibaku shounen hanako kun#aoi akane#aoi akane x reader#sakura nanamine#sakura nanamine x reader#teru minamoto#teru minamoto x reader#aoi x reader#sakura x reader#teru x reader#my first ask! :D
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Hiiii! I love your makeup sm, can we pls get a tutorial 💕
hihihi tysm sm anon !!!! i’m writing this on the bus so sorry if i’m rumbling and sound rushed 😭😭 (it ended being a lot of writing so i put a more thingy if you really want to read it LMFAO)
so before i even do my makeup i always do my skincare which is just double cleansing, witch hazel and moisturiser :) whenever i do this my base always ends up smooth (i have a lot of acne scars which always makes my makeup look cakey 😭)
i do my eyebrows first with pomade & powder, tbh brands don’t really matter in my defence cus literally all of my makeup is shein glam and shit i stole 😭😭😭😭😭.
i feel like eyebrows are what pulls together your makeup besides lashes so research what style of brows suit you!! i then carve them out bc i luv instagram 2016 brows theyre my baeeeeee, you can use whatever brand you want but because i have heavy yellow undertones i just used a colour corrector palette and make my own shade lol if anyone relates to me buy this lol. when carving under your brows use a concealer shade and for the top use ur foundation shade :) then after blend it so it looks more seamless and you barely have to use a lot of foundation on ur forehead
BASE ROUTINE IS SO CRUCIAL ILL TRY AND BE VV SPECIFIC WITH THIS!!!!!
you don’t need to invest in a really good primer, i use the elf dupe of the milk hydrogrip primer and vaseline and das it!!!! also, let your skincare sink into ur skin first or it’ll just slide everywhere bae
use whatever foundation you want, if u want recs my faves were the elf foundation in sand or the hydrating foundation on shein.. also in sand, again i don’t use any high end products bc #broke nd bc you can get a good base with cheaper products. put your foundation on the back of your hand nd then apply with you fingers since you have more control on where to put it (people say don’t do this but if you want that full glam beat look start from the perimeter of your face so it doesn’t look.. faded? idk lol) and use a DAMP beauty blender to blend, soak it under a tap so it gets very soft and then dry it so it’s damp you know 😝 and then blending inwards into your t-zone, making sure not to touch ur brows and under eyes (it’ll make it look more cakey when adding concealer on top of foundation). and after you think you’ve blended, BLEND MORE!!!!! get a setting spray or a spray bottle and mist your face then blend more just in case, plus it makes ur base more smoother no i do not know why but it works
for concealer this is where i’d recommend using a colour corrector rather than concealer imo, i use a mix of a peach and yellow colour corrector for my concealer but again if u like what u use, use it 😭. i like a bright undereye so i apply a lot but u don’t have to ofc, place it below your waterline so you can blend up. as placement goes i do tiny triangles because i’m mentally since in 2016 lol, then after let it set a little for more coverage ig. if you want a full coverage undereye i suggest blending the concealer up into your waterline as well again idk why i did it by accident once and i’ve never turned back lmfao
people say to let your makeup dry on its own before setting it but with this much product you really can’t and i crease really easily so 😭😭. i use banana powder and a mix of translucent powder and mix them together on a puff (dab a little on the back of your hand before applying) apply the powder under your eyes first, i bake but u don’t have to, then your forehead, then chin and buff the rest on the rest of your face then mist setting spray n then yay base is nearly down queen ✊✊
for the rest of your base it’s really up to how you like it, for me i’m really into browns and not so much blushy tones so i use a mauve blush since it blends really well into bronzer, be light handed and patient with your powders, it can look really muddy if you just slap it on. use very fluffy brushes, it’s easier to blend and harder to make it look muddy and sharp (unless u like that lol)
eyes r really simple all i do is use my bronzer and slap is on my eyes and place a creamy eyeshadow on the lids, tight line my lash line with a pencil liner then mascara and lashes LOL easy peasy lemon squeezy. here are the lashes i swear by (i had the blue ones in the these pics <3)
nd for lips i just wipe off any product i had on my lip and line it with a really cool toned brown lip liner (i hate warm brown lip shades…..😡) and blend the inner part into my laps and slap on clear gloss AND YUH DONE YAY!!!!!!!
so sorry for the realllllly long answer, i like to mumbo jumbo abt makeup hehehehehahhshshsa
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Hi Arrow. Do you recommend trying TF2? I like the funny guys but I have no FPS experience
Em. I am gripping you by the face. I have not been thinking about anything besides TF2 for the past two months. I absolutely recommend it.
I’m also not really big into FPSs, but I really enjoy the gameplay for it. There’s a fairly outdated tutorial you can play where it walks you through how to play a few of the classes that I found helpful to get a feel for the game, but there’s also offline training with bots that you can play to get a little more practice with each class until you feel comfortable enough to play online (if you even want to).
There’s also a lot of custom maps that people make just to be silly on (the Mario kart and McDonald’s maps come to mind lol). I’m personally a big fan of Mann vs Machine, where you and five others just fight waves of robots.
The game isn’t super great at walking you through things, so you would probably need to either have someone play with you to explain things or do some quick research on it, like reading the wikis or watching some videos about it. It’s pretty easy to pick up once you get it tho!
Also, TF2 has had a huge problem with bots in the past few years, so to be able to communicate through chat, voice commands, or voice chat, you have to spend at least $5 on the game. I just bought some silly cosmetics from the community shop, but you can also buy taunts and other weapons if you want.
There’s a ton to explore in the game and I learn something new every time I play tbh!!!
But!!! If you want to enjoy the silly guys without playing the game!!!! There’s comics!!!!!!!!!!!
There’s a lot of smaller comics that were released to introduce new updates which is really fun, but then there’s the main comic series that focuses on a big overarching plot that’s sooooo funny and silly and heartbreaking <333
It also (imo) helps establish some of the characters in really interesting way. Like they’re all fucked up little clown dudes, but the comics give a bit of insight for some of them. A couple of the characters get brushed over a bit because there’s nine of them and you can only do so much, but it still did a damn good job of getting me attached to them all.
The only problem is…it’s not finished. The second to last comic was published in 2017 and the last one has been “coming soon!” since then. :( I’d still recommended it tho bc the comics are really good! The art is gorgeous and everyone is sooooo silly.
AND if you don’t want to do THAT! Theres the Meet the Team videos that Valve made to introduce each of the mercs, plus a few other videos for updates and other things. I LOVE these. I watch em all the time lol. My personal favs are Spy, Pyro, and Medic but it doesn’t take long to watch them all.
AND THEN There’s a whole wide internet of SFMs (SourceFilm Maker) on YouTube!! A lot of them are super silly YouTube poop-like videos that are rawrXDomgLOL random. This isn’t super my thing so I don’t have any recs unfortunately.
But there was an SFM recently released called Emesis Blue that is driving me to the brink. It’s a full length psychological horror/thriller movie that’s like TF2 but real fucked up. It’s been living in my brain for a solid week. It lowkey kinda gave me nightmares so you may check out the Does the Dog Die page for it if you’re sensitive to horror, or skip it all together.
Also kind of a blanket trigger warning for all media listed is blood, guns, violence, and bodies exploding into cartoon meat chunks. Fun stuff lol.
So there’s a lot of ways to enjoy the fun mess that is TF2. Let me know if you get into it bc hooooly shit I love this funny hat game so much.
#HOPEFULLY that’s enough info to get you started lol#let me know if there’s anything else lol#ALSO it’s so good to hear from you <333333#I hope you’re doing well!!!!!#jackandthedevil#nottobeconfusedwithask#terrifiedofjudgement#tf2#(sorry main tf2 tag I need to organize things or I will die </3)#(although if anyone else has something helpful to add feel free. just pls be nice)
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I’m dying for more of the Fools such in au. Do you have any more ideas/ thoughts you wanted to share about it? What was the moment Aemond realized he and Myrah might actually be happy together and vise versa?
Yes, I do have more thoughts! Thank you for asking First and foremost, I just recommend watching the movie (fools rush in) for anyone who hasn’t seen it. Not even just for this, mainly bc it’s one of my favs and I think others should watch if they haven’t 💀
Anyway onto the thoughts. I’m gonna try to do like a mini timeline of events I could see happening and hopefully that answers some things
Myrah and Aemond meet at a restaurant owned by Myrah’s aunt. In this cute little town right outside the city (where Aemond lives)
They instantly hit it off ofc, go back to Aemond’s hotel…. Baelor is conceived 😊. Myrah books it out of there in the morning before Aemond even wakes up
They go about their business for weeks till Myrah starts feeling tired a lot, and even feeling a bit sick. So she goes to the doctor. The checkup is going pretty normal till her doctor is suddenly like ‘congrats mama 🤭’ and myrah is just like ??? 😵💫😵💫😵💫
Myrah goes back and forth between even telling anyone and just getting an abortion is secret. But she breaks down one day to her mom bc she scared. Her parents are pretty traditional so ngl it does hurt their soul a bit that their young daughter is pregnant and won’t even tell them who the father is. Her aunt (who owns the restaurant) is like 👀 but also is like ‘girl if you want this baby dead I’ll drive you’
In the end, myrah ends up deciding to keep the baby. Then makes the decision to tell Aemond. Not bc she wants anything but more for him to know. She doesn’t want some guy showing up in 10 years like hmmm is that my kid. But she is nervous bc she knows how this looks. She knew very little about Aemond, or his family. But it takes one google search and she’s like ‘ofc he’s from one of those families’. She comes from a working class background. She can only imagine what his family would think about her
So, she shows up at [insert work place for Aemond I haven’t decided on]. Not super appropriate but she kind of has no other way to reach him.
He is confused to see her. She asks if they can get lunch, mainly bc she wants to tell him in front of people so he doesn’t act up lmao
Anyway he takes it… not great. He excused himself to go scream in the bathroom 😭. But when he comes back myrah reassures him she doesn’t want anything. This was a curtesy thing, and that she (and the baby) will be fine.
Aemond shocks her, and honestly himself, by asking if he can come to the first appointment. Myrah is halfway to saying no bc her parents advised her to cut ties cleanly especially if he doesn’t explicitly say he wants to be around permanately. But he looks so earnest so she says yes.
I sort of debated how I imagine Aemond telling his family, namely Alicent. Honestly I could see him jay blurting it out one night on the phone. Like ‘I’m having a kid’. Now this ofc shocks Alicent. Bc frankly, she thought if any kid would be making her a young grandma is Aegon. But she gives him sound advice about raising a child (especially while not being in relationship with the mom) is not easy. And if he’s not 100% in, he needs to leave them alone for their sake.
the thing that really pushes him to step up is viserys tbh. His father is so critical of him for this. Probably makes some disparaging comments about myah when he hears she’s essentially a struggling artist. Hinting at her doing this on purpose. And Aemond really can’t believe for a moment bc really??? Viserys targaryen has something to say about raising kids??? That’s rich. But then he remembers how clueless his father is so sure he would think he’s a great father/made good decisions and has room to talk
Anyway fast forward to the first appointment with the obstetric. I feel this appointment def lays the early stages of them being good for each other. It should be nerve wrecking and awkward, and don’t get me wrong some parts are, but he holds her hand and when they do the ultrasound he has that’s “their” baby in there.
When they leave, Aemond is very clear about wanting to make it work. Not just co-parenting but with myrah herself
Ok that was super long winded opening to their relationship. Anyway in terms of hiccups they may face. Aemond is a workaholic. Hard to curve and him and myrah butt heads a lot of what things are considered ‘important’ in life. It is understandable when you grow up in the family dynamic he did, that ideals in that department is murky. They both have to create appropriate boundaries before baby Baelor comes.
Moments they realize they could be happy together. For Aemond, the way she gels with his mom and siblings. Mainly Alicent. She also tells viserys and daemon to fuck off one night (she instantly feels guilty. Pregnancy hormones what can ya say) but Aemond loves her for it. Also when Baelor comes, Aemond sort of feels like his heart is bursting. For myrah, the fact that Aemond tries. She isn’t expecting perfection but nothing bothers her more than someone who dwells in their situation when they have the means/wherewithal to get better. Also he is very handson from the get go. One of her fav memories is him shooing her out of the apartment so him and Aegon could paint the nursery. As well decorating the nursery with him
#fools rush in au#sorry this was SO long lmao#as you all know by now aemyrah are truly my babies#will always have opinions and thoughts on them
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Alright you heathens take these StarVores headcannons and run
First up we got my boy Luke
Luke is 100% a prey lad no question
Despite that I don’t think he’d ever really been eaten before joining the rebellion aside from a few close calls
First person to actually eat him was Han out of necessity, and while he kinda freaked a bit he doesn’t mind so much anymore
Probably only has a small handful of folks he’s okay being regularly eaten by
But he generally doesn’t have to worry about being grabbed
I mean, would you try and eat a Jedi who didn’t wanna be eaten?
Loves just being small in general tbh
Will perch on shoulders, in hair, sometimes you can even find him chillin in someone’s pocket
He’s completely at ease around his x-wing buddies at any size and it’s real funny to see him using the force to hop from shoulder to shoulder with them like some sort of game
Scares the crap out of c-3po every time
Can and will use this ability to terrorize Han because that’s what friends do
All in all he’s extremely competent even while all tiny and you don’t really have to worry about him
When he’s eaten you can bet there’s gonna be a bit of theatrics accompanying it
Lots of playful fighting and laughter, though he settles down rather quickly once he’s swallowed
He makes for good company and likes to chat while making himself comfy inside
Unless you just ate
He does NOT like sharing with food and will let you know
Whiny Jedi lad
Next up is Leia!
She’s also a prey like Luke (cough they get it from Anakin cough)
But unlike him she’s already used to being eaten long before episode 4
Comes with being an ambassador you know?
For her it’s generally more of a business thing than for fun
Hidden transportation, easy escape should things go south, that sort of thing
However I would not recommend just grabbing her either
She might not be a Jedi but she can and will kick a tooth out should you try anything
Ask Han
She treats getting eaten and being all small in general as the most normal thing in the world, cause for her it really is
Likes perching in high out of the reach places just to keep an eye on everyone
She enjoys shoulder rides as well
And she’s super good at keeping her balance so you don’t really have to worry about her falling
She generally won’t put up a fuss about being eaten if it needs to happen, and more often than not she’ll keep working or planning once she’s down
Every once in a while though she might use it as a way to relax after a long day
And you best feel honored should she choose you for that
Now for Han
Poor Han is a pred for sure, and I feel like I gave him the short end of the stick here having to deal with prey Skywalker twins
Being a smuggler it would shock me if the concept was completely foreign to him
Not that he’s ever had to eat a person per say, but he’s worked with people who have and he’s certainly had to swallow his fair share of unpleasant things in order to get them past checkpoints and such
But living things had been a hard no for a while
His first time eating someone was actually Luke’s first time getting eaten too, and it was rough on both of them
But after that initial time he’s gotten a bit cheeky with it
He’s grabby
Tends to just grab people Luke whenever he feels like it and while the kid doesn’t mind, he got an earful after trying it with Leia
Despite what most people think he actually has a hard time with excessive struggling and as such doesn’t like truly unwilling prey
Luke does it to annoy him
Much as he isn’t a fan of struggling he’s weak for internal rubs
Seriously you find the right spot and the man is putty in your hands
He does have a habit of eating and drinking with people inside so watch out for that
Usually it’s not on purpose unless whoever he’s got is being a pest
But he tends to forget that whatever he eats is gonna end up the same place as them
Definitely not above threatening to eat someone if they get on his nerves
Usually Leia
But at the end of the day he’s fiercely protective of his friends and if you want them you’re gonna have to go through him
#I should not have had so much fun with these#but here we are I guess#take them and run#soft vore#safe vore#g/t vore#fandom vore#star vores#heheheh#still love that tag#got a lot of important art to finish so fill free to um#shoot me characters if you wanna hear more to keep me from going insane#got a whole au I’m working on
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ello. so I just got another undesired circumstance in my reality (i don’t like to deny it bc it doesn’t make me feel ok to deny what i’m dealing with). i’m not really sure how to handle them because they keep coming. i ofc keep persisting and i want to, but i’m finding it hard rn & i honestly want to cry. i know i have to keep persisting but it’s getting challenging living in the 3d (it’s personal so i’d rather not go into detail). i honestly feel stuck tbh with you. i’m not really sure how to push forward bc it does get hard. i thought the law was supposed to make life easier but instead i keep persisting while dealing with the 3d. it’s tough but i’m trying…. im not rlly sure what more i can do. do i have to keep going until the 3d just randomly decides to conform? bc that’s what it’s feeling like. ik people say not to worry about time but i don’t like that concept AT ALL bc life is VERY MUCH SO passing by. lmao 💀 (not me trying to laugh as if im not shedding tears rn) it just feels like a pain in the ass lol. idk wat to do.
You can cry, darling ♡. Let it all....... out. Because you're human, you know? You're an amazing, powerful, kind, vibrant god but you're also very, very human. You're right, the law will make things easier, but never at the expense of your mental health.
Circumstances can kick your ass sometimes. And that's ok, because at your centre is someone who knows they deserve better. That's the first step, and you've got that down perfectly.
I wouldn't recommend 'denying' the 3D because as you said it generally makes things a whole lot worse, which we don't want here. It's more about having that faith that it will change sooner or later, and living as safely and (more or less) positively as you can. You don't need to do more.
Persisting should never hurt you. It shouldn't be you dragging yourself through the jungle with it tethered to your ankle. Persisting is a way of remaining loyal to the new story that you want!
I can't pretend to know what you're going through, but I can give you as much as I can to help. If it's all getting too much, seek help outside of manifesting and your immediate surroundings. That's your number 1 priority to get you back on your feet.
I'm sorry if this was all unhelpful gibberish,,, for me it's vastly more important to take care of yourself rather than your desires, but if you want any more specific help don't hesitate to hit my inbox.
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Just finished March Comes in Like a Lion, thoughts under the cut.
Going in, I thought this was gonna be like Chihayafuru, a show about a high schooler obsessed with a competitive game learning to deal with the problems of being a teenager while also balancing the problems of being a competitive player. But right off the bat, this show made it clear that it was very, very different. It’s much heavier, dealing with much more difficult topics very openly. Rei is in a deep depression when the show starts, suffering from a lot of trauma over the past several years of his life.
However, slowly but surely, with the help of people around him, he’s able to climb up for air. And, realistically, he’s not 100% okay, and he may never be. But he’s found things in life that he cares about, found a reason to do more with himself than endlessly study and practice shogi. At the start, he almost never took the sisters up on their offers to come over for dinner, and we see Akari has to basically force him to come over (neat trick with asking him to pick up ingredients) to make sure he eats a decent meal every now and then. But by the end of the second season, he’s over at their place frequently, and multiple times came over without needing a specific invitation. He finally allowed himself to rely on them, and realized he found people he can trust and who trust him.
It happens so gradually that it’s easy to miss. Watching Rei repeatedly bring food over, and spend several evenings a week tutoring Hinata, you forget how Akari and Hinata had to strongarm him into coming over early on. It’s a show with a lot of sad episodes, and it gets really heavy when it goes into the abuse and trauma Rei went through (and tbh is still going through with his sister visiting) and the bullying that Hinata faces, but seeing the character growth in both of them is so uplifting. Everyone relies on each other, from Akari and Hinata making sure Rei eats well and has a safe space, to Rei consoling Hinata when her friend moves to escape the bullying, to the grandpa supporting Akari and giving her advice when she struggles to fill the role her mom left her. And that’s not even getting into the shogi players and how they help lift Rei out of his spiral of depression and in turn he (albeit unintentionally) motivates them to keep fighting for their dreams.
I know the manga goes on for much longer, but it’s been a few years since the last episode of the anime came out, so I’m no holding out much hope for another season. In regards to the anime, I’m fine with it ending where it did. The one thing I would have liked to see was Rei graduating, and finding out if he decided to quit shogi or keep playing.
I was fascinated by the ongoing theme that Rei doesn’t actually like shogi; he originally played it because it was the best (or only) way he could spend time with his father, and then he kept playing to earn his place in his adoptive family’s household. Then he went professional and played to earn enough money to live on his own. Then he wanted to help Hinata, so he played to earn money for her, as it was the only thing he thought he could do to help. He was never at any point playing shogi because he actually wanted to or enjoyed doing it. I think the only match we know for sure he enjoyed was against Soya. Part of me really likes the idea of him graduating, quitting professional shogi (but continuing to play matches with people he knows, like Nikaido and Shimada) and getting a job the crescent moon sweet shop, or finding other work he enjoys.
It’s such a different feel than Chihayafuru, but I think I liked them both about the same. Well, maybe I liked MCiLaL a little bit more because it didn’t have the tedious forced love triangle that Chihayafuru had. Very good show, I highly recommend giving it a try.
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Ooh since you like giving music recs, mind sharing 5 favorite albums? I love getting music recs and finding new artists to listen to!
OOOOOOH okay this is a really good question!! So narrowing it down is proving to be a bit of a challenge so I’m going to make two lists: the first will be what I think are the top 5 best albums ever and the other list being my personal favourite 5 albums at the moment. I think that way I can talk about music I like while also giving recommendations that aren’t purely mainstream stuff :)
Top 5 Best Albums Ever… According To Me
Rumours by Fleetwood Mac - If a group of people cheating on each other can make an album like this and include the most achingly cool and fantastic base lines (in The Chain) then maybe we as a society need to re-evaluate our stance on monogamy
Folklore by Taylor Swift - Genuinely convinced Taylor Swift hit the jackpot writing this because she really honed into an introspective, calmer theme for an album being released in a time where people were in lockdown and had no choice but to sit around and think (or overthink, if you’re like me). It’s honestly just the most consistently good albums ever.
Melodrama by Lorde - One of the best pop albums ever and I will NEVER shut up about it!!! It tells such a cohesive narrative throughout the whole album, keeps these very fitting late night electronic pop beats (with the exception of the low point of Liability in which it’s just a heartbreaking piano melody) and was released at a point where more synthesized music and late night pop and partying was at its peak. A great example of how you can follow trends without sacrificing your sense of lyrical genius.
Voulez-Vous by ABBA - I just love ABBA and I don’t even think I need to say anything else except for their music led to Mamma Mia so…. everyone should love them????
The Stranger by Billy Joel - BILLYYYYYYY. Honestly this album is so underrated but Vienna alone could bring this into any top 5 list. He has a way of not making constant piano melodies annoying, like I listened to the whole thing and did not get sick of the piano. Billy Joel has just such a nostalgic feel to him.
My Personal 5 Favourite Albums Right Now
five seconds flat by Lizzy McAlpine - I’ve had this album on repeat since july and I don’t think my obsession is dying out anytime soon because lizzy mcalpine has suchhhhh a smooth, clear voice and her lyrics rip my heart out!!! it’s amazing!!! I actually had such an urge to gatekeep her in 2020 when her last album “give me a minute” came out but she’s too good to gatekeep tbh. still, I’m convinced nobody will love her like I love her. no one.
Wet Leg by Wet Leg - I know Harry Styles did a cover of one of their songs once but honestly it didn’t compare to the original. this band came out of nowhere and just has such a unique, fun style and I dig it!! It’s just very cool and laidback and “girl who doesn’t give two shits” kind of stuff
Wasteland, Baby! by Hozier - THIS IS SELF-EXPLANATORY. I fucking love Hozier, his lyrics are truly so poetic and I cry from the beauty of it
Punisher by Phoebe Bridgers - again, this album does a really good job of telling a cohesive story from start to finish. Is it a sad story? Absolutely. But it’s also really beautiful, and the classic hot girl depression music.
Coming Home by Leon Bridges - Mr. Leon Bridges truly doesn’t fuck around!! He’s a king when it comes to this genre and honestly River is such a gorgeous song
Also if anyone wants a song rec for a specific feeling or situation they can hop into my inbox because, if I do humbly say so myself, I’m fucking great at that
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A Comprehensive Guide To The Ao3 Tagging System
There may be other ways to do it, but this is the way I do it. I see a lot of people on, like, wattpad and ff.net who don’t go on ao3 because it’s tagging system is intimidating, but speaking from an ao3 perspective, wattpad and ff.net’s tagging systems are almost unusable. So, here’s a guide to fix that gap!
Okay, so when you get to the home page it should look something like this
There are multiple different ways to do this, but the easiest way is to click on the search button in the top right hand corner. You don’t need to put anything into the search bar to be able to search. After you do that, it should look something like this
After this, you click on the search bar again. That should take you to a page that looks like this
From this, it’s pretty self explanatory, and you can press on the blue question marks if you don’t understand.
Here are the kinks: if you use the title and it doesn’t turn up the fic you want, it doesn’t mean necessarily that the fic isn’t on the archive. Sometimes it glitches and doesn’t show it up, which means if your trying to find a fic you’ve already read your better chance is to memorize the authors username, because that doesn’t happen with usernames.
The date field doesn’t work, it’ll show you up nothing.
For the word count, you can’t do specific numbers. If you type in 10,000, it will only pull up fics with exactly 10,000 words, which is why you have to use < and >. But the thing about that is that they’re switched around. So if you typed in >10000, it’ll show up more than ten thousand, and vice versa. (It won’t understand if you use commas.)
For the character, relationships, and additional tags- when you type anything in, it’ll bring a drop down menu of the sites predictions for what you might mean. But the thing is, if you just typed in, for example, ‘parental aizawa’, and put that in as a tag, nothing would show up, because there are no tags that are exactly just ‘parental aizawa’. There’s no AI involved, it’s not gonna predict you. If you wanted to get the parental aizawa tag, you’d have to type in the whole “ Parental | Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead | Dadzawa” tag, otherwise it’ll search for exactly the tag you searched for and nothing will come up. (But obviously, no one types in the whole tags. You just use the recommended official tags that come through the drop-down.) Not all ao3 tags that are in use are official, though. There are, sort of, ‘tropes’ for ao3 tags that translate to multiple different ideas for different characters, but there are too many of them to list out, and we don’t need to because you’ll start memorizing without even trying the more you search.
Oh also, unrelated to the search terms: if you’re writing a fic, don’t write it in the official ao3 writing box. If you exit the site, there’s a good chance it’ll erase the work. (Oh and choose your font before, otherwise it’ll glitch and erase all your paragraph breaks.) this glitch is noted in the site. Oh also- drafts are only saved for a month after the original editing date. Your better choice would just be to write in a third party app.
Back on topic. Most of the tags are really self explanatory if you just look at them, so it feels a bit redundant to me to explain them, but that’s the main reason it feels so overwhelming to people, so I’m going to do it. Disclaimer: you don’t have to fill out every section of the form before searching for a work.
The ‘any field’ tag is tricky and finicky, and tbh, it’s better left alone if you’re just learning the tagging system. Your least important ones, (at least by my experience,) are the date, title, and the work stats. They’re more trouble than they’re worth.
The author/artist tag is exactly what it sounds like. You put in someone’s exact username, (it has to be exact,) and it’ll show you all of their works (that match with whatever other specifications you’ve put in.)
The ‘completion status’, ‘crossovers’ and ‘single chapter’ are easy, because you just click one. If you don’t click that you want a single chapter, it will give you both single and multiple works.
The language section is a giant drop down, it’s organized a-z. Most of the archives fics are in English, so you probably don’t really have to worry about it. If you don’t click on any language, it’ll show you every fic that ,atches your other specifications, and they might not be in English. (But most of them are, so you really don’t need to worry about it.)
Personally, I find I don’t usually specify on the ‘ratings, warnings, and categories’ options, but it really depends on what you’re looking for. But those are fairly easy, you just choose an option if you want to. If you don’t specify, it’ll factor that out and show you everything.
That’s about it. You can look at the little blue question marks next to the sections for more details.
Happy reading!
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December 22, 2022
Warning: Anxiety Post. We all knew this was coming.
It’s just that any email in my inbox between now and the beginning of March that isn’t an interview offer or an acceptance is superfluous to me. Now that all of my top ones are submitted (all that’s left is my “safety” which I may not submit until January tbh bc I’d heard that one of my schools could get back to me as soon as January and I’d choose that one over my safety any day, I think), I am officially starting to feel that icky feeling of “what if I don’t get in anywhere, what if everything I did is wrong, what if my only choice is between somewhere I definitely don’t want to go and not going anywhere at all, what if, what if, what if, I’m afraid, I’m so scared, I wish I just knew already” and so on and so forth. But I am going to hold out. Regardless of what happens, I will survive. I refuse to consult admissions forums or subreddits like I have during my past few admission cycles because they only make me more anxious. I just... I hate the wait, you know? And the uncertainty that comes with it. And while there is some comfort in knowing that there are tons of people out there just like you who are in the same boat because misery loves company, miserable, anxious people generally don’t help other miserable people feel all that much better.
And so I wait. And I will have to keep myself busy in the meantime. I will have to find some ways to distract myself into forgetting that my future plans, goals, and dreams are on the line here and that I don’t really have a backup plan lined up and.. hhhhh. (Also I think I should’ve at least mentioned the consortium involved in two of my applications because that was a huge draw for why I was applying there in the first place, but those are also the two places that I.. am the most certain I will not be accepted to, so (they’d be dope schools to attend, don’t get me wrong, but for a variety of reasons I don’t think it will work out (or maybe I’m just being pessimistic disguised as realistic again to save myself from eventual heartache, but, really, who knows)).)
Plus I can’t help but think that maybe I should’ve done something different in this app or that app and maybe I should’ve talked more about why I really liked the school in my statement or maybe I should’ve submitted a copy of my poster as a representation of some of my old work and I just... I’m just so worried. Like I’m structuring my entire Spring around the possibility of interviewing and recruitment days, and it’d be so embarrassing to have none of that happen at all. This ain’t undergrad with an average of 35% acceptance. I’m looking at rates of 1-5% bruh. And if I don’t get in anywhere I have to go back and tell that to my recommenders and I physically don’t know if I can handle that, and it makes me feel sick just thinking about it.
As much as I try to remember that I have great qualifications, fantastic recommenders, and a solid history when it comes to beating the odds of low acceptance rates (for the selective programs with ridiculously low acceptance rates to which I’ve applied, I’ve been accepted an almost unreasonably high percentage of the time), every single time feels like a new, more impossible beast.
But that’s how it’s supposed to be, right? As you become more qualified, the applicant pool around you increases in their qualifications as well. So you know you’re putting up a fight in your application. And your achievements, your selection over other talented candidates, represent not only the fight but the victory. And that’s all I want, really. A victory. Even if it’s a choice between two of my preferred programs, I don’t need all six. The victory wouldn’t feel so amazing if it was easy, would it? So I accept the challenge (I have no choice at this point). I accept the challenge and pray for the best.
And if it doesn’t work out this go round, I have plenty that I can evaluate and improve up for the next go round. Ideally, a year of setback won’t put me out of the running.
Today I’m thankful for all As this semester. I’m thankful for my ecoanth prof who was far more lenient than she should have been but her goal was fully for us to learn in whatever way worked best for us and I can respect that. I’m thankful for my easy archaeology class where all I did most days was show up and lazily scribble notes. I’m thankful for my evolution class where there were so many opportunities to actively engage with the material (and gain points) before taking the exams that I never felt too worried about keeping a good overall grade. I’m thankful for my popgen class where I learned! so! much! about genetics and computer modeling and I wish I could take another class with that prof in particular, he was probably the best prof I’ve had at this university (closely followed by my biochem 1 prof, I’d think). I’m thankful for devbio, a class I only took because I needed it to fulfill a requirement and I didn’t think I’d care about it at all, but it introduced me to a whole new field in biology which I actually might want to explore more if I’m offered the opportunity.
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OK, SO. We’re going to talk about 3 things in this post, because they’re all related to each other in some way ; Harold’s sexual orientation, his romantic orientation & shipping. PLEASE NOTE: with Harold’s sexual as well as romantic orientations, it’s very clearly stated that how he feels pertains only TO HAROLD specifically. Grey-aro-ace people ALL feel things differently, not everyone has the same feelings & experiences.
( this gif originally came from here, I did not make the original )
This comment is one of the FEW things in POI that provides a glimpse into Harold’s ... relationship with other people & I believe that it’s an OUTSIDE glimpse, from someone else who merely witnessed bits & pieces. After watching the overall series several times & certain episodes more than several times, I recognize what it is Arthur means here ; Harold has a certain ... POWERFUL INFLUENCE on other people in general, whether it’s in reference to something romantic or platonic ( or somewhere in between ).
Harold’s success of being SURROUNDED by people who’re dangerous as hell & yet, they all end up loving each other DEEPLY in their own ways ... it’s quite the feat. They all become fiercely loyal to each other & I believe this is because of the influence Harold has on people. We ALSO see, with some of the other people he interacts with, that he often eventually has this similar pull, this similar Thing. He’s very ODD, secretive & suspicious ... but people just end up ... really liking him. It’s not just women, but Arthur is likely heterosexual & heteroromantic & I’d imagine he’d assume Harold is too, so it’s reasonable for him to assume that Harold is / was quite the ladies man, as they say.
That’s what Arthur’s comment implies, that Harold “Got” ( in either sexual or romantic context ) with a lot of women but I don’t AT ALL believe that’s how it actually was ( which, I think is pretty evident by the LOOK he gives Arthur in response lol ). Harold doesn’t feel sexual attraction, sex is not something that is usually, if EVER, on his mind & he doesn’t feel a need for it. To be clear, that DOES NOT mean that he dislikes sex or never has it. The feeling of this attraction may surface when he’s being sensual with a partner, but USUALLY that has to be directly indicated by them, more or less.
However, just because he’s being sensual with a partner &/ or because his partner indicates that kind of desire DOES NOT MEAN that he will feel it &/ or have a desire to feel it / act on it—–he’s Greyasexual, which FOR HAROLD means, he may feel sexual attraction, but only under limited & specific circumstances & if he does feel any attraction, it may or may not be strong enough for him to have any desire to act on it. As an example ; his partner could be sitting in his lap with the sensual kisses, touches, ect. & sex will not be on his mind at all. He doesn’t try to DIRECT anything into that & it’s never something he EXPECTS. Also a note that GENDER is often irrelevant to whether Harold may feel sexually attracted to them or not. The only kind of TYPE Harold has is in reference to certain personality traits.
GREYROMANTIC is in reference to romantic attraction, which is ENTIRELY SEPARATE from sexual attraction. Romantic attraction CAN exist without sexual attraction & for Harold, it’s something that is likely to happen with some people. It’s very important for that distinction to be made ( A couple links I have explain this VERY WELL here & here, if anyone’s interested in Further Reading. I would highly recommend them tbh ). FOR HAROLD, this means that the line between platonic & romantic tends to be INCREDIBLY blurry. Romantic attraction is felt very INFREQUENTLY but at the same time ... it’s difficult to put a clear exclusive Line between platonic & romantic feelings, in some cases. Platonic & romantic feelings are not exclusive from each other & this is why, no matter how much a relationship seems to be leaning toward romantic, Harold often still refers to that person as his friend ( mostly in his head, sometimes out loud if he talks abt them to other people, but it depends ).
He sometimes uses VAGUE relationship labels ( such as ‘ partner / partners ’ ) & he often has to remind himself to use the Correct Label, if he knows he SHOULD ( such as words like fiance, wife, husband, ect. ). Romantic IS NOT ‘ more ’ than platonic, romantic IS NOT a level above platonic for him. Just because Harold may be romantically attracted to someone doesn’t always mean that he’ll want to pursue a romantic relationship with them—–NOT to say that means he wouldn’t ever be interested, it’s just like ... he often feels happy with the relationship as it is. Ultimately, it ALL depends on context & not every experience &/ or feelings are or feel the same.
OK, LASTLY, IN REGARDS TO SHIPPING. It’s important to note that, with any romantically inclined relationship, Harold’s feelings for Grace tend to hitch along for the ride. She was his first & he absolutely intended to marry her & share his secrets with her ... but, because he built The Machine & the fact that the people he’d given it to killed his best friend & severely injured / disabled HIM, he allowed her to believe he DIED in the accident. He listened to her & watched her enter the makeshift hospital ( from afar, where she couldn’t see him ), calling his name & shortly after finding the book he’d used to propose to her ( by hiding the ring inside the pages ), breaking down into tears. He did this because it was TOO LATE for him to escape the dangers & consequences of The Machine ... but it wasn’t too late for her ( here’s a clip from the show explaining this, if anyone’s interested in that ).
He still takes care of her financially via his MANY business connections, ensuring that she always has work. It’s a process of letting Grace go. In the MAIN verse, a lot of this development occurs with the ship I have with @anurbanlcgend, but in the case of other ships, it will occur in a verse where Harold & John never establish anything. That ALSO means that there will likely be feelings toward John in there too. These two people mean THE WORLD to Harold, so I can’t / wont pretend those feelings don’t exist for another ship & I hope those who’re interested in shipping with me understand that. He ALSO has a very intense & somewhat strict sense of morals & RULES that he holds himself to, so moreso morally ambiguous characters will be a challenge to ship with, but I’d be interested in maneuvering something like that.
If partners are Down with & respect these complications & there’s CHEMISTRY between our muses, I’m 500% Down to ship !! I LOVE shipping honestly & I would ofc love for my birb to get some romantic love. It’s NOT at all the focus on this blog by any means, but I do enjoy it nonetheless. I ALSO don’t at all mind if mutuals come to me & directly express interest in possibly pursuing a ship with me ( even if we haven’t written before ). I will be HONEST with you & if there’s a possibility for it, I’ll be HAPPY to see what happens & discuss with you.
#WATCHING WITH TEN THOUSAND EYES … LISTENING WITH A MILLION EARS. ( meta )#I DID SENSE MY PRIVACY BEING INVADED. ( headcanons )#KNOWING THE ANSWER HAS COST ME SOMETHING I VALUE MORE THAN MY OWN LIFE. ( character study )
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ASTERIA'S 2.5K FOLLOWER FIC REC LIST
i read fics just as much as i write them so here are some of my favourites. tysmsm for this milestone, i love you all <3 quick note: i didn't re-tag anyone if i recommended more than one of your works because of the tag limit.
───────── girls ─────────
hermione granger
tuesdays - @stupxfy
probably one of my all time favs for hermione. it's just so well written and adorable and fluffy and yes.
if i could tell her - @hellounicorn
pining, pining, PINING. the way these emotions and hermione's described is just... art. perfection. there's a happy ending and it is so worth the build up.
darling dearest - @dracolvr
fluffy goodness. read to be hopelessly in love with hermione ─ which, let's be real, we all are.
november rain - @pansydaisy
uhm i love this one sm. it's so simple but amazing ─ everyone has their days like this and having hermione to cure them? it's what everyone needs.
i need more - @15-dogs
i sobbed the first time i read this. it'll break your heart but it's so amazingly written that it's worth the sadness. actual gut wrenching / mindblowing writing.
how the potter girls react to you in lingerie - @pottersanime
the title. need i say more?
honeyed eyes - @minty-malfoy
HEAVEN. being hermione's first kiss as friend? but both of you idiots liking each other? oh my god, sign me up.
hugging her from behind - @pastanest
again, the title. read to feel 🥺💙
grey days - @pepperimps01
PANSMIONE 😌😌 it's angsty with a happy ending and i love it sm. this does such a perfect job of capturing pansy and hermione's relationship growing and having its ups and downs with just a few paragraphs. honestly so good
grenade - @hellounicorn
another one that'll make your heart shatter. but in the best way. these are the fics i live for where the you can't help but feel like it's really happening to you and hermione and god it's so fucking powerful. underrated writing right here in general. and also pansmione is the loml so it hurts in that way.
honeybees - @pansydaisy
fluffy aesthetic heaven.
lead the way - @teacup-tai
more pansmione but this is pure filthy thinking and satisfies all the sexual tension dreams pansmione shippers have.
two queens in a king sized bed - @shysneeze
domestic christmas morning with hermione and it's angelic.
would you still love me if i turned into a worm? - @minty-malfoy
one of those blurbs i never imagined i'd read or love so much. not to mention it's spot on and adorable.
pansy parkinson
right and wrong - @starrkidmalfoy
a first kiss and the overdone trope that i will never get sick of, the bitch who's soft only for you. the descriptions in this are perfection and the writing is beautiful <3
messed up - @writseo
toxic, messed up love fics will be the death of me. insane how well you captured it all and i just yes damn fucking props.
pansy parkinson imagine - @moonlight-imagines
*screams* THE BEST FRIEND BANTER + THE ENDING OH MY GOD OH MY GOD ─ I SCREAMED WHEN I FIRST READ THIS. I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE IT.
dating pansy would include - @lotsoffandomimagines
ABSOLUTE POWER COUPLE SHIT and to this day, pansy saying "jealous much?" when being scolded for pda remains iconic.
grey days - @pepperimps01
as i said before: PANSMIONE 😌😌 it's angsty with a happy ending and i love it sm. this does such a perfect job of capturing pansy and hermione's relationship growing and having its ups and downs with just a few paragraphs. honestly so good
new rules - @silversslytherin
excuse me this is immaculate ─ pansy is the best friend and the second you see that she's also the best s/o, you're done for. perfection.
study "dates" - @turning-dreams-into-chaos
the title is self explanatory and this whole thing is fluffy heaven <3
how the potter girls react to you in lingerie - @pottersanime
read the title, thank me later.
lead the way - @teacup-tai
more pansmione but this is pure filthy thinking and satisfies all the sexual tension dreams pansmione shippers have.
traitor - @hufflepuff-writings
a masterpiece where pansy chooses the wrong side in the battle of hogwarts. this ties up so well and the writing is so powerful.
back alley love potions - @a-simple-imagine
this actually hurts but in a beautiful way. watching pansy give draco a love potion is such a fucking concept and this is executed incredibly.
my little bunny - @emmamarie7708
pansy making you do this is so dirty yet she's slightly sweet and i am a sucker for it. god is a woman and her name is pansy fucking parkinson.
pansy parkinson imagine - @moonlight-imagines
i'll let pansy beat people up for me all day. they put me in madame pomfrey's, feel my girlfriend's wrath.
ginny weasley
blissful - @enyastasia
fluffy ginny goodness. the friends to lovers? the amazing kiss? 🥺🥺🥺💞💞 this fic lives in my heart <3
bubble pop electric - @hunnypot-imagines
this is hotter than a lot of actual smut and the chemistry is so... wow. ginny weasley owns me.
dear ginny - @alyssamalfoy
how does this short ass letter manage to make me feel so much. it's sorcery but i don't even care, it's beautiful.
wildflower - @pansydaisy
will i ever get tired of cheeky i love yous? not when loves like ginny weasley and ayli's so so pretty writing exist.
all i want - @hellounicorn
ouch. fuck you harry :) quite possibly the best ginny fic i have ever read. insanely talented writing, i genuinely feel every touch of emotion you put down and you need to know how amazing that is. keep breaking my heart.
linny hcs - @bluebirdlinginthenest
who doesn't need good linny content in their life?
how the potter girls react to you in lingerie - @pottersanime
sexy bitch, fuck me up.
willow - @padmeamiala
ginny is the loml. her brothers can cry about it.
bellatrix lestrange
attempting to bake with bellatrix - @carters-coffee
MY FAVOURITE BELLA FIC ─ there's not enough bellatrix fluff out there but this makes up for the lack of. heaven.
bellatrix prompt - @carters-coffee
this gives me chills. she knows she's a bad bitch and that's what we love about her.
change of plans - @dumb-sbian
why THE FUCK have i not had a rainy morning with bellatrix? she can sleep and mumble something just like this and i'm still head over heels for her.
being tortured as bellatrix's girlfriend - @writings-of-a-british-fangirl
definitely a concept BUT this makes me feel some type of way and i recommend giving it a minute of your time 😌
bellatrix finding out you're a muggleborn - @carters-coffee
the beauty, the nuance omg. this is art.
bellatrix prompt - @carters-coffee
yep jealous bella. trust me, im all yours mommy <3
sex with bellatrix would include - @onegayastronaut
so short but... sign. me. up.
luna lovegood
never leave - @/deactivated
luna smut is hard asf to come by and this is my favourite. it's so luna and the pain over her not knowing, not getting that closure about how you feel until this is an amazing rollercoaster.
she - @hunnypot-imagines
the beauty of falling in love with luna, through this majorly talented writing. ten out of fucking ten. i will not elaborate but there's also majorly good association in this imo.
silver berries and flickering fireflies - @duskgrangers
i love this fic so much. she's so herself and that is why we ✨ simp ✨ and the scene set just sounds so prettyy
how the potter girls react to you in lingerie - @pottersanime
luna + this title? yes please, ma'am i am simping.
would you still love me if i turned into a worm? - @minty-malfoy
put me in your pocket luna. im begging you.
dancing in the rain with luna - @/deactivated
only luna would get you a dress to go dancing in the rain and this is the stuff of blissful, fluffy dreams.
hugging her from behind - @pastanest
short and cute, do me a favour and read it :)
dating luna lovegood would go like - @glossymalfoy
life is NOT worth it if you don't read these cute little headcanons and imagine dating ravenclaw's baddest bitch.
linny hc - @bluebirdlinginthenest
like i said, who doesn't need good linny content?
cho chang
strawberry kisses - @pansydaisy
the only cho fic i've been able to find and it's SO WORTH IT. the cutest, it flows so well, and i absolutely love it. i need this with cho tbh.
fleur delacour
toutes les etoiles - @coffee--writes
im in love with fleur and this amazing writing. and for the first time since i started high school, my three years of taking french feel good for something.
being best friends with fleur would include - @harrypotter-imaginess
not romantic but actually so sweet pls. i want this friendship in my life so bad.
nymphadora tonks
dating nymphadora tonks would include - @imaginesforgirls
dating her + that warm little feeling of bliss that only HCs can give you
taking care of her after the war - @random-imagines-blog
this kind of hurts in that good ass way and i lovee it. they're simple hcs but i feel for tonks so much and then there's that warm lil feeling when you're the one to put her back together aand now my primary life goal is to help this woman heal.
───────── boys ─────────
harry potter
phosphenes - @minty-malfoy
ok shakespeare, the fuck?? this fic will never not get me right in the heart. the angst, holy fuck. and for once, the reader doesn't hurt harry and let draco walk all over them and it's just done so well. the transition from a toxic relationship to a sweet, loving one PLEASE. it's beautiful.
happy memories - @15-dogs
how does this manage to be so. smutty and fluffy at the same time? this is one of those short ones that has lived in my head, rent-free since i read it. and tbh any fic that includes expecto patronum is guaranteed to be good.
come back to me - @wondernimbus
right from the beginning, it's a mess of emotions both good and bad. that kind of good ass writing that hits you in the heart <3
making out with harry potter would include - @badfvith
read this title. done? now thank me later.
harry prompt - @thoseofgreatambition
harry x a sarcastic swooning bitch is an elite trope idc. short and sweet, i'm marrying this fic.
keep your eyes on the prize - @rowema-ravenclaw
first of all, showing harry up and second, pure fluff (and a little steam) right after. i also love how she writes harry in general because he's totally safe/in love with the relationship but still has that awkward lovable shyness and i just... *sighs*
always - @pansydaisy
uhm i will always love him and always reread this a thousand times so its a fit title + a good read.
late night studying - @lumosandnoxwriting
fuck studying, let his hand stay in my shirt. once again recommending fluffy bliss in the form of a short read that makes me feel things <3
would you still love me if i turned into a worm? - @minty-malfoy
he's so stupid. but he still loves you + this is from our resident perfectly talented writer so its a win.
cuddling after a rough quidditch practice - @badfvith
harry james potter is : b a b y
gryffindor's victory - @rowema-ravenclaw
make me gryffindors fucking cheerleader because HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT. AND THE WRITING IS IMMACULATE PLEASE. just read it, you won't regret it.
draco malfoy
silent treatment - @slytherinwh0re
andy's mad talented and this is just... insert a cheesy chefs kiss. unbelievably adorable but so fucking hot and an actually good smut plot (which is rare lmfao). remind me to give draco the silent treatment every time im upset.
rewards - @malfoysstilinski
so hot PLS. hype him up for the match and get your reward, bye. so good.
reading between the lines - @minty-malfoy
i've said this a thousand times but that's what happens when you've got a mad talented mutual BLESSING everyone with beauty like this. butterflies and warm feelings all around when i read this 💓
point of view - @draconisxcaput
its angst for hermione and fluff for you but overall ethereal writing. i am never going to recover from the pure talent that this is.
im not kidding im dying - @malfoysmatrioshka
i hate being sick with a passion but this... this would make it worth it.
hogwarts express - @/deactivated
draco fucking you because he knows harry's watching. the shit of legends and god is it hot.
draco laughing at you because you can't walk after sex - @glossymalfoy
*motions to the title* fluff with this loser 😌
the cheeseburger - @slytherinwh0re
really short read but this is one of those things i just. didn't know i needed. you're missing out and haven't even realised it if you haven't read about introducing him to cheeseburgers. and that ending is so funny/in character to me i fucking love it.
four am - @malfoysstilinski
domestic draco 🥺 but also sad draco 🥺 and then fluffy draco 🥺
hugging him from behind - @pastanest
real short and it'll brighten your day <3
would you still love me if i turned into a worm? - @minty-malfoy
how is it that this is so stupidly adorable. i love it 💘
ron weasley
heather - @hellounicorn
always making me cry with your fics i swearrr. this is a must-read. having someone but them not really being yours is a beautiful trope and this fic absolutely does it wonderful, poetic justice. your angst is addicting.
apple pie - @pregnant-piggy
ABSOLUTE DOMESTIC BLISS I AM IN LOVE. i don't even like kids or baking that much but this made me so soft. the whole cozy, heavenly vibes from this fic yes yes yes.
jealousy - @writeroutoftime
cliché jealousy turns friends to lovers and i am a sucker for it all over again <3
shaking and trembling - @ronsbadidea
if ron doesn't finger fuck me and then make a cheeky comment about it in class later then WHAT IS THE POINT :(
mixed signals - @iamthecabbage
i've always figured ron is this awkward idiot cutie with a crush and yea, this is it.
fred and george weasley
i love you, but you don't - @george-fabian-weasley
fred's a character i really don't read for often but goddamn. it's the saddest, most beautiful mix of rejection and pain and fred desperately caring but not in the way you want him to ─ an angsty masterpiece.
cockwarming george - @roonilwazlibimagines
because of this filthy gem, i one hundred thousand percent believe that he could make me cum without even fucking me and this is just... it's a good fucking read.
would you still love me if i turned into a worm? - @minty-malfoy
their responses are so wonderfully chaotic and adorable and GOD you're missing out if you haven't read these lil blurbs.
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#harry potter x reader#hermione granger x reader#pansy parkinson x reader#luna lovegood x reader#ginny weasley x reader#draco malfoy x reader#fred weasley x reader#george weasley x reader#cho chang x reader#nymphadora tonks x reader#bellatrix lestrange x reader#ron weasley x reader#fleur delacour x reader#harry potter#fic recs#masterlist#smut#fluff#angst
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