#I always fuck up genyas eyes I can never make them look the same

[sanemi-whore]

Phantasm (Cruel World Final)

You retire from the Demon Slayer Corps and return back home to your father. You'll never forget those you met during your time as a slayer and often send letters to them. One evening you see Genya, stating that he needs you to take care of his brother. @roaringlion @kiki17483 @stuckinthewrongworld @neji85 @nyarffeu @muichirosloveee @plvuii @annie-napier @dependsontheday @crazycatlddy @idiatism @kxthxrinx0310 @summ3rd4yz @iviyna @neji85

Part 1 | Part 2 warning: cursing, everyone hates sanemi lol, heavy ansgt themes, multiple character death, body worship, oral (m/f), creampie, cowgirl, fingering, word count: 10.823

Public Enemy #1 was what Sanemi became. In the eyes of the Hashira - even Obanai who attempted to be neutral even gave him a look of disdain. Uzui often berated him, stating that he didn’t deserve a woman like you - and Sanemi knew as such. Shinobu made it her mission while treating him to make it as painful as possible - seeing as she could be gentle when she desired.

Hell, even Tomioka gave him deeper frowns than normal and that was saying a lot. You set your mark upon the Corps and now that you were going to be leaving soon, everyone despised him for it.

Did anyone know the true meaning? No. They didn’t dare ask Sanemi. They didn’t wish to ask you, either, not wishing to see the sadness grow deeper in your eyes. What they did know was that Sanemi and your relationship had grown sour, you were leaving the Corps and the only logical person to blame was the man in the situation.

Sanemi hisses when a sharp pain swipes at his neck. It’s Hiyori - again - claws digging deep into his neck while her beak bites against his ear. This is the fifth time in the last two days she has attacked him randomly, Sorai no longer wishing to help out of fear of her attack coming to him next.

“Fuck.” Sanemi swipes at the crow to defend himself from her attack. She squeaks, eyes glaring before she flocks away. He couldn’t be upset with Hiyori - she adored you just as much as  everyone did. Even Ginko - Muichiro’s sly crow - had come to your defense. Sanemi likes to believe that the crow just desires to berate anyone that isn’t Muichiro and joins in on the torment out of boredom. 

“Serves you right.”

Uzui.

Sanemi sighs. Great, another session of the man berating him because of you. 

“I don’t have time for you right now.” Sanemi continues his stroll back to his estate. He had tatami mats to slice up to get his mind off of you.

“What’d you do to Y/N?”

Sanemi continues to walk.

“So unflashy.”

“Your lack of hand is unflashy.” Sanemi retorts.

Uzui cackles. “Yet I can keep all three of my wives. I cannot say the same for you, Shinazugawa.” Tengen trails behind the younger man who’s shoulders tense at the remark. “I’m serious now. What did you do to her?”

Sanemi stops in his tracks. He doesn’t turn to face Uzui. Even with one eye, the man knew how to see right through him.

“Did she leave yet?” 

You haven’t spoken to Sanemi in a week. His heart hurts and longs to see you, just to see that you’re alright. But he cannot be selfish enough to hold you back from what you want.

“No. She will in another week.” Sanemi exhales at the response. “You make her cry. I can never forgive you for that, Shinazugawa.”

Sanemi recalls your wet eyes as you were leaving his estate. His throat tightens.

“Y/N saw you as a savior of the sort. She spoke so highly of you - even now. I rarely see her smile and there's always a sadness behind her eyes. It outweighs Tomioka’s.”

Sanemi swallows the lump in his throat. He continues walking and this angers Uzui. “I’m talking to you!” the retired Hashira roars. “What the hell happened-”

“I took advantage of her!” Sanemi roars back, turning to face the taller man. “I took advantage of her and I can’t forgive myself.”

Uzui stops in his tracks, fuschia eyes examine Sanemi’s face. “Are you admitting to…assaulting her?” Uzui is unsure where this conversation was heading. He doesn’t want to believe that Sanemi would intentionally cause you any harm.

“Ye-”

Sanemi falls onto his back and there's a sting in his face. Even retired with one hand and eye, Uzui was just as fast and strong as ever. Sanemi holds his nose and glares at the man, liquid leaking into his palm.

Tengen steps back and admires the sight. “You have changed.” he murmurs more to himself than to Sanemi. “You’re hurting just as much as Y/N. You’re better at hiding it.” Uzui kneels down to reach eye level to Sanemi. “The Shinazugawa I know would’ve never let anyone hit him and get away with it.”

The teasing was back. Uzui was willing to hear what Sanemi had to say. “What really happened?”

Sanemi rips a piece of his haori and plugs his nose. He does speak. He explains the entirety of the mission - the demon art and how he felt, the demon that was a Lower Moon that took your shape and how you managed to defeat it effortlessly. He explained how his body felt - hot, heavy and in excruciating pain; nauseous at the forbidden sight of you. Sanemi even goes as far as to detail the internal dialogue and the flashes of delusion his mind sent as to how badly he desired to have you.

Tengen listens with wide eyes, attempting his hardest now to cackle at Sanemi’s explanation.

“What you explain to me, Shinazugawa, sounds like consensual sex.” Tengan shakes his head. Kids, he thinks, even if you and Sanemi were considered adults. Still, anyone younger than him would be kids in his eyes. “She wanted you. You wanted her. You fucked the life-” Sanemi growls, tips of his ears hot red. 

“Look,” Uzui chuckles. “That’s not assault. Did Y/N feel indifferent about it?”

Sanemi glances away with a shrug. He didn’t know how you felt.

“Did you two talk about it?”

Sanemi shakes his head.

“...What did you do?”

“Ignored her.”

Tengen groans. He wants to send another punch to Sanemi’s nose but refrains. “You take her virginity and fuck her all night while declaring to always protect her and,” Tengen raises one hand and does air quotations. “the child you were begging to fuck into her just to ignore her this whole time?”

Sanemi stiffens. When he thinks of it that way, it sounded more fucked up then he intended.

Tengen stands, shaking his head at the dumb Wind Hashira. “Unflashy of you.” he turns and begins to journey back to his own home.

Sanemi stands with a huff. His nose was broken now and the only person who could fix it was unfortunately Kocho. He journeys to the Butterfly Mansion, mind on his conversation with Uzui.

Sanemi didn’t want to leave you the morning he woke. He desired to hold you close to him, inhaling your sweet scent. But he was disgusted with himself more than anything. In his mind, he took advantage of you and your intoxicated state. There were bruises and marks littering your once perfect skin - all made by him and his savage ways. He couldn’t control himself and now you were forever tainted - he didn’t regret his night with you. He regretted how it happened.

Sanemi admitted to himself that morning that he loved you, stating it aloud while you slept soundlessly. His mind also recalls the way you also admitted to loving him during your time together, but that was during your intoxicated state of sex and the demon art. But knowing what love meant to him only meant there was a matter of time until the love he harbored would crush him. Memories of the night prior flood in and he thinks about how deep he was into the demon art that he was paralyzed right beneath a Lower Moon. What if you weren’t capable enough to stop her? It would’ve been his fault why you died - and the thought sent shivers all over his body.

It hurts Sanemi to ignore you, but he wanted you to hate him. He wanted you to eventually be so angered with him that you wouldn’t bother to care for him any longer.

But no, instead you apologized. You thanked him. You left - all because you thought you were a burden to him.

“Sit.” Shinobu is curt with her responses to Sanemi. “Oh my, your nose is broken. Who managed to get to you first?”

Sanemi doesn’t retort in the way he usually would. “Uzui.”

Shinobu giggles with satisfaction. Serves you right, she wants to say. 

Shinobu places her hands on Sanemi’s nose and jerks it harshly. Sanemi hisses, eyes snapping shut at the pressure.

“Fixed.” Shinobu sing-songs. “You’re free to go.”

Sanemi doesn’t stand, not even when Shinobu has turned to give him a look of distaste.

“Is Y/N alright?”

Shinbou’s eyebrows knit harshly. “Y/N is none of your concern!” she snaps. “Not after all you’ve done to her.”

Sanemi sighs. “She told you.” he states. “I saw her…coming here a few times. Just-”

“You don’t have the right to act concern now, Shinazugawa.” Shinobu interrupts. Sure, she doesn’t know the full story of you and Sanemi’s relationship, but she knows enough of the outcome of it. “You’ve put her through enough.”

Sanemi stands and makes his leave. Everyone loved you, as they should, but everyone hated him. He wasn’t going to get any answers from Shinobu about you and he cannot be upset about it either way.

Y/N-san. How have you been since retiring? It gets lonely sometimes without you here but I I was told by Genya-kun to be a man. Even so, I can see that even he appears to be saddened by your loss. He doesn’t speak to me much without me talking first, but we eat together often when we can. It feels different without you here to keep the peace. I hope you’re doing good, Y/N-san, and you find the peace you deserve.

-Hoshi Shinra

You read Shinra’s message with a soft smile on your lips. You’re glad that he and Genya could get along with one another. You know just how Genya could be - similar to his brother at times. But he was a good boy, after all. 

It’s been only a month since you retired from the Corps. Retired sounds foreign to say. You haven’t been a slayer for long and you even felt ashamed to say that you’ve retired already. Those who were younger than you remained in the corps and fought while you retired; seemingly from a broken heart. You want to laugh at how weak you truly were, but you decided against it.

Returning home wasn’t what you truly wished to do. You haven‘t spoken to your father in close to two years - not even a letter. He hasn’t attempted to find you, either, and possibly assumed you were either dead or a part of someone's brothel.

The look on your fathers face upon your return was one of pure shock. He hadn’t said anything for the first few moments of seeing you. Was he happy? Angered? Relieved to see his only living child?

Your answer came when the man raised his hand to slap you - a hand you caught easily. You pushed the man away and swallow thickly. He was upset. Surely because you had gone rogue and that meant whatever money your husband had paid you for had to be returned. But, your father was never violent towards you before - the smell of alcohol laced in his breath told you that he had taken in the habit even more while you were gone. 

Your father didn’t stop, however. He was just as talkative as he once was. He yelled at you, stating that you were the reason he had gone broke. He had to work his ass off to pay off your debt to the man that you were destined to marry - that he even had to sell personal items. You shoved a few wads of cash in his face to shut him up. 

You were an adult - always had been. However, you were stronger. You trained alongside Hashira. You beheaded demons - and though you were not on the level of a Hashira, you were damn near close. The Lower Moon was nowhere near what Upper Moon Uzui, Tanjiro, Inosuke and Zenitsu fought, but it was a kizuki nonetheless. You would return home and deal with your father, but you weren’t going to tolerate disrespect.

Your father noticed the change in you. He doesn’t ask where you’ve gone for nearly two years. He knows that you’ve grown. Hair longer, body toned and strong and face stoic. You appeared to be alert at all times, even with the slightest of sounds. But, that didn’t stop his disdain for you. 

“You could’ve been set for life.” your father told you one night at dinner. He ate what you cooked with a side of alcohol - a normal set up for him. 

“Could I have? Or would you’ve been set for life without me?’ you retort, taking a bite of the chicken you prepared. Another thing your father had to grow accustomed to - your mouth. You talked back now, an act he didn’t appreciate. 

“I gave you to that man to take care of you!” your father yells, banging his hand onto the table. His breath stinks of sake. You contemplate hiding the bottle, but that would only mean he’d tear the home apart looking for it or just go buy another.

“You sold me to him.” you deadpan. You’re unsure what lie your father had told himself to make himself feel better about it, but it wasn’t the truth. He sold you to get money for himself and get rid of you. You’re back now and he hated you for it - oh well. “I paid my due to you already. Eat your food.”

“Where did you get that money?” your father hisses. The only time he’s seen so much cash upfront was from the man - and you didn’t return from him. “You decided to be an Oiran like I said?” your father scoffs with a shake of his head. 

Your appetite is lost now. You gather the dishes and begin to wash them, deciding that ignoring your father was for the best. But that didn’t mean your father was done. He continues, carrying on how you cost him a lot of money and you being back was a slap to the face. You pondered if retiring was even worth it if it meant you had to deal with him on the daily. You cooked for him on the daily, made sure the home was clean and even bought whatever was needed for the home - and still, he hated you. It was as though your existence here was causing him such anger.

Genya, I’m glad to hear from you. I’ve heard from Shinra that you’ve been eating together! I’m glad you and he are building a friendship! I hope you’re eating well and staying healthy. 

Please, stay safe.

-Y/N

You folded Genya’s letter and placed it inside a small envelope. You had several letters to go through, even some from those you weren’t expecting. You opened an envelope and were surprised to find several leaves, acorns, seeds and even rocks. The next envelope was from Tanjiro who apologized for the mess caused by Inosuke. Apparently the boy wanted to gift you something after Tanjiro explained that he would be writing you a letter - it warmed your heart knowing that even Inosuke was a part of your penpal group.

The next letter was a surprise, signed by several lower-rank slayers. It caused you to laugh upon reading it, catching you completely off guard. It detailed how Sanemi had turned sour once more and that he was utterly murderous. It continued saying that they wish you were there to calm him down with whatever “miracle” tea you made him while in Asakusa. In the end, they wished you the best on retirement, warming your heart even more.

Y/N, I hope you’re well. Sumi, Naho and Kiyo miss you and though she won’t admit it, so does Aoi. It feels different without you here. Shinazugawa still gets attacked randomly by Hiyori and now even Sorai is too frightened to help! I know you wish to not speak of him, but he asks about you constantly. I have not told him anything, do not worry! I’ve attached some medicine to this letter that would help ease the morning sickness - please take it daily. Please keep yourself in good health; not only for you, but for the baby.

-Kocho Shinobu

Shinobu was sent from heaven, you’re convinced. It was only a few days ago that you spoke of your nausea daily in a letter - even when it stretched far from the morning. It was difficult keeping any food down and water appeared to be the only thing that didn’t mess with your stomach. The medicine she gave appeared to be enough to last a month or two.

You laid a hand on your stomach and sighed. You weren’t far along, only in your fourth month. You thought you appeared bigger than normal, but maybe it was just your head doing things to you,

Your mind flickers to the same day you found out about said pregnancy and how you spoke with shinobu. She had assured that it would be painless - and you believed her. She made you a drink and handed it to you with a warm look in her eyes.

You recall the way you smelt it before attempting to drink. Your hands were trembling and as you brought it to your lips, you felt just how wet your cheeks were.

You couldn’t do it.

Shinobu had consoled you for what appeared to be hours. You apologized profusely to her, stating that you were doing nothing but wasting her time. She assured you that you weren’t, that you were going through something normal. She never onced judged you - and for that you were thankful. She had kept your secret and allowed you to leave the Corps with whatever dignity you had left.

Your father, on the other hand, was another story. Upon returning home with a flat stomach, he was beginning to think he was seeing things when your stomach began to grow. Your kimono couldn’t have been that big and your weight didn’t change elsewhere but your stomach. “That’s why you returned home.” he spat once he realized just what was the issue with you. “Because whatever man that did this to you had left you! It’s what you deserve for leaving.”

It’s what you deserved, his words rang in your ear.

Once all of your letters were written, you pushed yourself away from your desk and stood. You were trying to make it a habit to walk. You didn’t feel different now early on in your pregnancy, but you didn’t want anything to change as you grew closer to when you were expected. 

You strolled out of your home, finding the sun to be high in the sky. Your father would be at the pub right about now, not that you cared where he spent his time. 

There’s a light breeze, you note, as you walk. It isn’t a warm breeze that causes your skin to crawl with such heat, but a nice one that causes you to sigh in relief. 

“I hope it’s a girl!”

You turn to the sound of the sudden voice. You were strolling for about ten minutes, not far from your home. You thought you were alone - a village is not far from here, but usually people didn’t tend to walk down this path often.

Your eyes catch a child - a small girl. Her eyes are large and blue and she’s smiling at you. Her hair is black and tied in a low bun. Her kimono was long and red and her obi was orange.

“Ah, hello.” you offer her your own smile. She’s cute, so small and innocent.  “I never thought about gender much.”

You’re unaware she could see your bump through your kimono.

The girl crosses her arms. “I hope it’s a girl.” she repeats. “There’s a lot of boys in my family. I only have one sister.” she has a look of disdain on her face.

You giggle. “Is that so? But don’t you love them?”

The girl seems to ponder on your question before nodding. 

“Then it’s alright, isn’t it?” you question. 

The girl slowly nods. “I guess so.” she murmurs. “I remember when my baby brother was born!”

“Is that so?” you ask. 

The girl begins to walk besides you as she speaks, never focusing on just one topic and instead jumping between a few of them.  You listen to what she has to say, unphased to be speaking to a child. You assumed she lived nearby and her brothers were in the village where the majority of the shops were at. She spoke fondly of them and this causes your heart to swell. You missed your own brother at times.

“Would you like something…to drink…?” your eyes scan the surrounding area for the little girl who was just talking your ear off to find her gone. You hum. She must’ve ran off somewhere. You only hope she would find her siblings before the sun set.

“Must you cut yourself so deep?” you sigh, dousing the ointment across his open wound. “Surely any amount of blood could intoxicate the demons.”

The mission was done, leaving Sanemi a bloody mess before you. You learn to pack a small kit for this moment after the first time he cut himself in front of you to distract a demon.

Sanemi snickers. “I get carried away sometimes.”

You knit your brows, glancing into his eyes. He’s already watching you, and noticing your eyes meet, he glances away.

“It doesn’t really hurt anymore.” Sanemi continues just as you apply the bandage over the wound. “I’ve got enough scars to prove that I’ve been doing this for a while.”

You nod at his words, your eyes scanning the amount of scars littering his skin. It covers his entire torso, back and arms. Some appear to be fresh while others old and forming into new skin on top. 

“Do they bother you?”

Sanemi’s question catches you by surprise. You shake your head, hoping he didn’t think you were insulting his appearance. “I think they’re interesting.”

Sanemi hums. 

Sanemi’s not entirely convinced. 

“Each scar has a story to it.” you say. You lean back to give the man a smile. “It shows just how strong you are.”

You pat a scar on his chest gently and Sanemi feels himself grow hot. He turns his eyes back to you, finding that you weren’t lying. Your eyes show just how sincere you were being with him. 

“Children often run from me.” Sanemi tries to joke with you to lighten the mood, but he curses himself mentally at the look in your eyes. 

“Maybe you should smile more.” you offer and this causes Sanemi to scoff aloud. “I’m serious! You look terrifying to others when you’re upset.”

“Not to you.” Sanemi states. He didn’t care what other people thought of him. You were different. Your opinion of him mattered.

“Of course not.” you grin. “You’re nice to me.”

Sanemi swallows.

“Let’s try to smile without appearing menacing.” you suggest. Your hands touch his face and Sanemi feels the familiar jolt in his heart. Your hands are soft and you come even closer, your scent surrounds his nostrils. 

You’ve grown used to being able to touch him without a care and Sanemi never pushes you away. 

Your fingers lift his cheeks up and you begin to giggle at how unnatural he appeared. Sanemi concludes that he likes the way your laughter sounds.

The mysterious little girl had returned countless times over the course of three months - this time however with another girl nearly identical to her. Her black hair is tied in a bow in the back of her hair. Her kimono is a minty green with a lime green obi. Her eyes are just as blue as her sisters and you can’t help but giggle at the two of them.

“What do you wish to have, Y/N-san?” they had asked you. “Have you thought of any names?”

You were unsure yourself. You often think of the baby's gender and what you’d name them in the middle of the night when you’re supposed to be sleeping. You wondered if they would have Sanemi’s hair color and eyes or would they take after you. Maybe a complete half of the both of you? You find yourself wishing that the baby would have something of their father, hair, eyes - anything.

“I have thought of no names yet.” you answer truthfully. “I just want them to be strong and healthy.”

“Like their dad?”

You’re taken aback by the statement Slowly, you nod. “Y-Yes. He was…is a very strong man.” you say to them. 

You swallow. You pondered how Sanemi was doing. You have not asked when you write to anyone and they rarely bring him up. You haven’t received any letters so far, but you concluded that they were busy and whenever they were available, they would. 

Still, you harbored no bad feelings for Sanemi. In the end, he was the father of your unborn child, nonetheless, and even if things turned sour, you held him in great respect. It would be difficult to explain to a child why they had no father, but you had years to prepare for that conversation. 

“Do you miss him, Y/N-san?” two pairs of cerulean eyes are watching you and slowly, you nod your head. “Go see him, Y/N-san! I know he misses you, too!”

You giggle at the two girls. They were young. Life was more complicated than what their young minds could comprehend. “Wait here.” you tell them. Your child was kicking on your bladder and you had to once again, relieve yourself.

But the children were gone by the time you returned, but you’ve grown used to the way they’d disappear randomly just to reappear once more. You would leave little treats and candies for them that they never touched - maybe they didn’t like sweets? You never met a kid who didn’t, but eventually you’d learn what they like.

You closed your eyes and inhaled. You swayed back and forth slightly as you sat upon the hardwood floor of the outside deck. The sun felt nice against your skin.

“Y/N…?”

Your eyes flash open at the familiar voice. Your heart pumps.

“Genya?”

Genya was before you. His eyes appear confused. 

“Genya!” you lift yourself from the ground steadily and make your way to the boy standing a few feet away. His eyes are wide as he watches you. “How did you know where to find me? How-”

“You can see me?” Genya asks suddenly and you stop in your tracks. Your smile turns to a frown and now you’re tilting your head. 

“Genya, of course I can see you.” you try to laugh, but nothing you’re saying or doing to ease the situation is doing anything. “Genya,” you shake your head. This had to be a dream of the sort. 

“Y/N, you’re…” Genya swallows thickly with a shake of his head. “There’s a reason why I’m here. You…you’re pregnant.”

Nothing was making sense to you. What was Genya talking about?

“Brother!”

The familiar voices of the two young girls. They come besides you, one at each side. 

“I hope YN-san has a girl! Don’t you think we need more girls in the family?” the one with the red kimono speaks. 

“Yes! I hope she looks just like me.” the one with the minty kimono retorts.

Your blood runs cold. Your eyes widen and now you understand just what’s happening.

“Y/N!” Genya calls for you.

You’ve fallen to your knees, the tears flowing down your face. You’re trembling. 

“Genya…you…you’re..?”

You don’t want the words to leave your lips.

“Yes.”

You sob a little louder. Your heart is pounding outside your chest. 

“Sumi…Teiko…” Genya murmurs. 

“Please don’t cry, Y/N-san.” Sumi says. 

“What happened, Genya? How have you…?” you’re unable to stop the tears from falling. “W-Who else…?”

Genya doesn’t want you to be in pain. He’s unsure what to do or why he’s here - how you can see and speak to not only him, but Sumi and Teiko.

“Don’t cry, Y/N. W-We won.” Genya attempts to lift your mood, but he knows it's useless. “Muzan…muzan is dead.”

You want to scoff at his words.

Because yes, Muzan was dead by what Genya has said.

But at what cause? How many young, innocent lives had been taken during the process? Genya was just the only life gone that you could see.  Has Tanjiro survived along with Zenitsu and Inosuke? Did they manage to turn Nezuko back into a human - the young sweet girl with such kind eyes tugging at your heart strings. Sumire…Roshi…Shinra. Your blood runs cold when your mind wanders to Sanemi.

Genya answers you and you feel as though your heart would give out at any moment. Nearly everyone you have grown to love has sacrificed themselves to stop Muzan. You feel selfish for retiring the way you had. You should’ve fought alongside them. Maybe then-

“Stop blaming yourself, Y/N.” Genya tells you. He can sense the guilt throughout you. “Please don’t think about what could have been.”

“Genya…”

“Think about now.” Genya says, his head motioning to your stomach. “No one blames you for retiring.”

You shake your head. 

“Please calm down, Y/N-san.” Teiko murmurs, her eyes sad at the sight of you. 

“Please, Y/N.” Genya begins. “I-I don’t know what my Aniki did to you but…” he swallows. He feels selfish for even thinking about this. You deserved to feel whatever you felt towards his brother. “...please…don’t hate him. Can you find it in your heart to forgive him?”

Genya’s eyes are hopeful as he looks into your tearful ones. You swallow thickly. You were never upset with Sanemi - you’d forgiven him long ago.

“I-I…” your cheeks are tear stained as your mind attempts to gather all the information given to you. “I have to go.”

Your legs are trembling as you stand. Teiko and Sumi - finally learning the girls' names - are by your side. 

“Y/N, please. You aren’t in the position to go anywhere.” Genya is nervously walking behind you. He is still unsure why he was here. He understands that he had died during the battle, but he recalls reuniting with his younger siblings - then he was here before you. 

“I have to see them.” you’re scurrying around in your home. Your father was nowhere in sight and you’re glad that he wasn’t. You would appear to be talking to yourself.

Genya only shakes his head. You were stubborn and he now understands why his brother loved you as much as he did.

“Okay. I’ll accompany you.” It wasn’t like he had anything else to do. Moving on into the afterlife appeared to be much more difficult then he ever thought it would be. 

Genya watches as you pack a light bag. He finds his eyes wandering to your small bump and he feels warmth - was it possible for him to feel this way while deceased? He’s unsure truly and doesn’t want to question it any longer. 

“Are you sure you want to travel now, Y/N?” Genya questions once you are done. Teiko and Sumi are both by your side again, large eyes so soft and caring for the woman that was you. “I don’t want you to be in harm's way.”

You want to reach out for Genya and touch him, but you’re unsure if it is possible. You never thought to try, either, not sure how you’d react if your hand didn’t get to touch him. “Yes.” you nod. “After all, you guys won.”

Your mind is unsure how long Sanemi and you had gone round for round - but you’re certain that you cannot get enough. You’ve never pleasured a man before - not until now. But Sanemi wasn’t just any man - he was the man you’ve grown to love. You accepted it now more than ever.

“Y-You don’t have-” Sanemi throws his head back. He’s sweaty, chest rising and falling as he pants. Your lips wrap around the tip of his cock, warm tongue licking gently on the sensitive tip.

Sanemi hisses even more at the feeling of your tongue. He opens his eyes to glance at you and is positive that one day, you’d be the death of him. Not a demon or anything else - but you. 

You looked so beautiful to Sanemi, equally as sweaty with hair sticking to your forehead. Such innocent eyes looking up at him for approval while your mouth sucked him with all the might you could muster. 

Your hand wraps around the length of his cock and pumps while you focus on sucking the tip. You weren’t sure if you were doing this right, however Sanemi’s moaning. Nor does he appear to be bored or upset by your actions, so you’ll assume that he was enjoying himself.

“S-Stop!” Sanemi jerks, feeling himself ready to cum - as embarrassing as it was. It hasn’t even been five minutes. 

But you don’t, enjoying the flushed look on Sanemi’s cheeks. You go as far as your mouth would allow, feeling the tip of him hit your throat. You begin to gag, feeling your throat clog up, but you don’t stop. Sanemi’s moans edge you on and your legs clench together, enjoying the way you were making him feel. 

Your head bobs up and down, suckling. The sounds of your sucking mixed with low curses and grunts from Sanemi echo off the room. The sight is as filthy as it comes, but neither of you cared. 

You release Sanemi’s cock from your mouth with a pop, a string of saliva connecting from your lip to the tip of it. Sanemi twitches slightly, finally able to calm down - but still, you had other plans. You allowed Sanemi to take control for hours, now it was your turn to pleasure him.

Sanemi’s eyes snap open when you sit upon his lap. You give him a cute smile that melts his heart.

“I’m not really sure how good I’ll be.” you tell him, leaning down to peck his lips.

Sanemi grunts into the kiss. He positions himself at your entrance. “You’ll be amazing,” he responds.

You sit fully onto Sanemi’s cock, hands placing themselves on his bare shoulders. You shudder, the familiar pleasure coming back to you. 

Sanemi watches between hooded eyes as you begin to move your hips, his hands placing themselves permanently onto your hips. You’d do amazing, he told you, and amazing you did. You started off stiff, unsure of what to do, but after a few moments you got the hang of it. You lifted your hips and brought them back down at a steady pace. 

Sanemi finds it hard to focus on just one thing. Your breasts are bouncing for him to see and for a moment, he’s mesmerized. Then his eyes catch the sight of your pussy - wet and dripping with slick all over him. You’re clenched onto him so tight that he’s sure he wouldn’t last long in this position, either. 

Sanemi decides that your face is where he wants to settle his eyes. He could never get tired of calling you beautiful. Your face contorts with pleasure, mouth panting as you pleasured yourself upon him. Your eyes are fluttering, fighting to remain close or to open.

Lilac eyes meet yours when you do open them. You feel hot with humiliation having Sanemi see you lost in the moment. His fingernails dig into the skin of your hips when he notices your back from your high. 

“I love you, Nemi.” you murmur, unsure what in the world you were going through that made you confess such words suddenly. It causes Sanemi to stiffen at the confession. But you don’t notice, far too entranced with pleasure to care. You lean down and kiss his lips.

“Say it again.” Sanemi buckles his hips forward, thrusting into you at an alarming speed. 

Sanemi pushes himself forward, wrapping his arms around you to bring you even closer to him. He doesn’t want you to leave his arms - not now. He brings you onto your back, hovering above you. “Say it again.” he repeats, thrusting deeply inside of you. 

“I love you, Nemi!” you exclaim. The familiar churning in your stomach is coming back, and with the clenching you’re doing on his cock, you’re positive that you were going to cum once more.

“Again.” Sanemi holds you tighter. He never wants this moment to end - the intimacy the two of you shared at this moment is the most alive he’s ever felt. 

“I…I…” you’re cumming, eyes rolling to the back of your head. But Sanemi doesn’t stop, not until he's assured that he came deep inside of you, your words replaying over and over again in his mind. 

I love you, Nemi.

I love you, Nemi.

I love you.

Sanemi’s cumming, his eyes fluttering close. He places his head at the nape of your neck and he’s pampering kisses. He doesn’t move, not until he’s cum deep and he finds himself softening slowly - for the time being.

“Tanjiro…” you murmured, feeling relief wash over you upon seeing the boy.

 Your eyes scanned the room as you did so, finding Uzui with Hinatsuru, Suma and Makio. You take notice that Rengoku’s father is here along with his younger brother, the resemblance is quite uncanny. Zenitsu appears to be in and out of sleep while Nezuko is seated beside her brother. It tugs at your heartstrings noticing that she no longer appeared like her demon self.

“Y/N-san!” Tanjiro's eyes widen at your sudden appearance. “Hello.”

You feel a mountain of eyes upon you - or more so on your stomach. Genya is beside you, watching as a few gasps are heard. “Act like they have never seen a pregnant woman before.” he grumbles and you can only silently giggle. 

“I’m glad you all are safe.” you feel teary eyed at your words. You hadn’t gotten the chance to say a proper goodbye to Shinobu or Mitsuri, only your letters. You pondered if they received them before their battle. As you watch Tanjiro lay upon the bed, you’re yet again reminded of the many young lives that suffered…Sumire…Roshi…Muichiro.

“Ah, Y/N!”

Genya is startled by the sudden call of your name behind them. In the doorway is Shinra and he’s panting. He’s covered in bandages from head to toe and even has a limp as he strolls. “Shinra…” he murmurs. “...you did survive.”

“Shinra!” you wanted to engulf him in a hug but stopped yourself. He looked seconds away from dropping. “I’m so glad you’re safe. You must’ve fought hard.”

“A little too hard.” Shinra jokes, chuckling to himself. He then winces, now remembering why he refrained from laughing. Or speaking. Or anything besides breathing.

“Y/N!” Suma is the first of the group to react to you. She runs to you and engulfs you in a tight hug. She’s sobbing as she speaks. “You’re here! You’re pregnant! You have such a lovely glow to you-”

Makio punches Suma in the head, eyes glaring at the girl. “Stop yelling!” she hisses. “You’re going to crush her! Can’t you see she’s fragile?!”

Tengan sighs but he can’t help but smile. It felt whole in a way, almost as if you never left. Suma was right, however. You had the pregnancy glow to you. Your skin appeared to be blemish free and hydrated, your smile reached your eyes and your bump was round and healthy.

“Where is Giyuu-san? I haven’t had the chance to see him.” you say aloud. You want to ask for Sanemi, as well, but you chose not to.

“They should be finishing with the meeting soon.” Tengan strolls towards you. He has a grin on his lips and he gently pats your head. “It’s nice to see you again.”

“You, as well, Uzui-san.” you say. You place a hand upon your stomach and hum.

“Hey!”

It’s Inosuke. He’s come from behind Shinra, shoving his way in. Shinra hisses as he’s set to the nearest wall by the boy. Inosuke isn’t wearing his boar mask as he looks at you. 

“Inosuke. Hello.” you say, glad to see the young boy seemingly well. “I’m glad to see you’re safe. You are King of the Mountains, after all.”

Uzui scoffs with a roll of his eyes. 

“You’ve been well, too!” Inosuke’s voice is gruff as he speaks. “Since you’ve gotten fat. You must’ve been eating really well!”

“You imbecile!” Shinra wails, eyes glaring at Inosuke.

Tengan sends a fist upon Inosuke’s head. “She’s not fat, you idiot!”

You’re laughing at the sight. “It’s okay.” you assure them, understanding that Inosuke meant no harm. “He’s probably never seen a pregnant person before.”

Inosuke refrains from attacking Uzui like he wants to. “What’s that?” he asks, his head turning to Tanjiro.

Tanjiro chuckles slightly, a red tint on his face. He always has to explain things to Inosuke in more animalistic terms. “Y/N-san has mated with someone. That’s why her stomach has gotten a little bigger.”

Inosuke hums, eyes turning back to you. He tilts his head with a nod, now understanding.

“Stupid idiotic boar.” Genya hisses. 

“It’s so good to see you, Y/N.” Hinatsuru waves with a kind smile. “Please come visit us before you leave.”

You nod. “I will. I promise.” you assure. “I’m going to go find Giyuu-san.”

Tengan follows you out. He only allows you to go down the hall before he calls for you. “And what about Shinazugawa?”

Genya turns his head, as do you.

“Are you planning on seeing him, as well? I know he’s been…” Tengan trails his words off, hoping that you’d understand where he was going with this. 

“I will be seeing Sanemi, as well.” you nod. 

Tengan allows himself to watch you as you walk away, turning out of sight. He inhales once more, this time wishing that the former Wind Hashira would admit the way he feels. Not just for your or his sake, but for the sake of the unborn child.

Giyuu is the first one you find. He’s already walking your way when you happen to see him. “You cut your hair, Giyuu-san!” you say, waving his way.

Giyuu appears to be shocked at your presence before him, but he manages to not have his eyes linger on your obvious pregnant belly. He offers a small grin your way with a nod. 

“It’s good to see that you’re alive.” you murmur to him, taking in his appearance. You notice that his right arm has seemingly been lost during battle and again, you feel yourself grow with guilt.

“You, as well.” Giyuu responds. “Congratulations.”

You grow hot and nod your thanks. You allow Giyuu to pass you, Genya furrowing his brows at the man. He was never one to speak much and oftentimes you found yourself talking to him, wondering if he was ever telling you to shut up mentally. 

“You think Aniki would be at his estate?” 

“I’m not sure.” you murmur. You place a hand onto your stomach, the baby is seemingly moving. “You must be excited.” you say, laughing to yourself. 

You’re nervous and that part is obvious. You wanted to see Sanemi, yes. Your heart is full knowing that he managed to survive. You don’t know how you’d react when your eyes meet his for the first time in months - you hope you wouldn't cry. 

The journey to Sanemi’s home is rather quick. Maybe you were walking fast to get it over with - pay your respect and leave. You found yourself outside the familiar shoji doors, contemplating if sending a letter was more appropriate then coming up unannounced.

“Go.” Genya speaks. “I’ll stay behind so you can have a level of privacy.”

Genya disappears - the first time since you first saw him days ago. You gulp, hands feeling sweaty.

You lightly tap the shoji doors before sliding them open. The home is quiet and appears the same as when you left months prior. You remove your shoes and continue into the home, heart quickening.

You find yourself holding your breath when you see him. He’s seated on the hardwood floor in the sitting area, in his hands the rhinoceros beetle he claimed as a pet. He’s feeding it some fruit you note, watching intently. 

“Sanemi.” your voice is low and barely audible, but Sanemi is alert. His head snaps in the direction of your voice and he noticeably gasps. 

Sanemi blinks once, then twice - you were here. You weren’t a fragment of his imagination like he initially thought. Through the months his mind could still hear your voice as if you never left. He was sure he’s gone insane sometimes when he’d awake and swear his ears pick up on you cooking, low hums coming from your lips. 

You feel uncomfortable under his intense gaze. You’re considering you coming to see Sanemi was a mistake, unsure if he truly wished to see you.

“I-I’m sorry.” you murmur. You blink away, unsure as to why you were truly apologizing for - maybe for coming unannounced after all these months. 

Sanemi places the beetle back into the wooden cage and places it beside him. He lifts himself up onto his feet and makes his way to you. He’s quick, placing both calloused hands on your cheek. His left thumb rubs your cheek gently, enjoying the feeling of getting to touch you after so long. Your eyes catch the bandage wrapped around his right hand and you frown deep. “Your hand…” you murmur, your own softer hands wrapping around the bandage. You notice he’s missing his index and middle finger. 

Sanemi doesn’t care about his injuries. He’s far too enthralled that you’re in front of him. He takes a step back, eyes going lower to your stomach.

You swallow, breath hitching. You feel uneasy with his gaze. His face was stoic, unable to read just what his thoughts were. You feel a few kicks from the baby and you’re sure they were just as uneasy at this moment.

“Sanemi?”

You break the silence after around 5 minutes of Sanemi’s staring. His head snaps to you. “You’re pregnant.” he states the obvious. 

“Yes.” you nod. 

Sanemi is silent once more and again, the silence is killing you. You’re unsure of what he’s feeling - if he was feeling anything at all. 

Sanemi glances away from you. His heart is jolting once more, but now with sorrow. He’s lost you for good, he thinks, and now he wants nothing more than for the world to swallow him whole. 

“You’ve found a husband?” Sanemi asks but he doesn’t truly want to know. The thought of someone else getting to have you causes his heart to feel sad, sorrow erupting through him. He can never blame you for finding love elsewhere, it’s what you deserved.

“Aniki’s an idiot.” Genya groans. You flinch at the sudden sound of Genya who is standing behind his brother. Your brows furrow at the boy who raises his hands. “I’ll take my leave now.” he states and again, disappears once more. 

You take another deep breath and shake your head. “No.” you murmur. “The baby is yours.”

Sanemi was sure he’d have whiplash the way his head snaps back to you. His eyes are wide with realization - how big your stomach was, the child growing in you; his child. 

You’re shocked when Sanemi suddenly falls to his knees. His hands are on the ground while his head is hung low. He’s trembling, you note, and you’re confused about what's happening. 

“S-Sanemi, I-” Did you anger him? You’re unsure what to do - should you leave? 

You got your answer on what Sanemi was doing when your ears pick up on low sobs. You kneel down in front of him, eyes noticing droplets on the hardwood floor. You stand straighter and gulp.

Sanemi was crying.

You’ve never seen Sanemi cry. He was always a strong person, showing little emotion. Others once cower at the sight of him, tip-toeing around him to not anger the man. He was always different around you - smiling, often joking and never lashing out at you.

But crying - Sanemi never cried.

“Nemi…?” you place a hand on top of his hand, fingers gently rubbing the white tresses. 

Sanemi lifts himself up to look at you, tears staining his cheeks. He moves fast, arms wrapping around you. His head lays upon your bump and wants to cry even harder when he feels soft kicks.

“Please forgive me, Y/N.” Sanemi’s begging now, His tears don’t stop and he doesn’t let you go. He never wants to, afraid that if he does you’ll leave him once more. 

“Nemi,” you murmur. Your heart swells at the sight of him and you want to laugh at the situation. “I’m not upset with you.”

“You should hate me.” Sanemi murmurs, lifting his face from your bump to look at you. “I took advantage of you.” He left you to fend for yourself, pregnant and all. He shouldn’t feel as if it was completely his fault - he had no idea you were pregnant and if he had, he would have never allowed you to leave. However, he cannot help how he feels. 

“You didn’t take advantage of me, Nemi.” you play your hand - so soft, Sanemi thinks -  against his cheek. “I said I loved you, didn’t I?”

Sanemi’s throat tightens and again - as pathetic he’s sure he looks - he feels himself crying. His heart jolts and for the first time in months, he feels happy. Watching Genya die before his eyes while claiming that he always protected him had shot a hole through his heart. It’s a feeling that would never go away, but having you back before him pregnant with his child was the feeling he needed to feel whole again. 

“Thank you.” Sanemi murmurs, arms unwrapping just for his hands to place upon your stomach. 

“I didn’t do anything.” you giggle.

Sanemi shakes his head. You’ve done a lot. You weren’t upset with him for how he treated you after the two of you were intimate. You decided to come back from your home, pregnant and not far from giving birth he’s sure. You were a gift he wasn’t sure he deserved - you and his child.

“Stand up.” you tell Sanemi and he does what he’s told. “Stop crying, Nemi. It’s okay.” you offer a smile.

Sanemi’s heart jolts again. 

You’re as beautiful as you always were and now you’re glowing. 

Sanemi wants to cry yet again.

Sanemi can never keep his hands off of your stomach. He always has to hold it - while the both of you sleep. While you both sat and ate. Any reason he could to hold you bump, he would and you couldn’t be upset about it. He even would place his ear against your stomach - mostly as you slept - to hear the heartbeat of his child and yours. It brought him ease, assuring that the both of you were safe. 

Sanemi was more fascinated with the sudden kicks. He recalls many years ago when his mother fell pregnant for the first time with Genya and how intrigued he was at her size - and when he noticed her stomach moving at an alarming rate. Then she fell pregnant again, again and again until his youngest brother was born.

Sanemi was nervous about traveling back to your home and leaving his estate for good. Now that the Demon Slayer Corps was disbanded for good, he had no reason to stay - “only if you want”, was Kiriya’s words. And he was until you had come to him. Now, you had made plans on going home and home meant where your father resided. He had never met your father and truly had no plans to, but by what you have told him, he was not a man Sanemi would like. He wouldn't want you or his child to be disrespected by the likes of him.

You were now 8 months and so close to giving birth that Sanemi often walked on egg shells. He never wanted to leave your sight in case it happened suddenly. Not only that, but he missed the majority of your pregnancy that he didn’t wish to not be at your side for whatever you needed - stomach rubs, random cravings in the middle of the day or night. He would massage you - especially your feet that had since swollen up due to your pregnancy. He wanted you to be as comfortable as possible. 

You have been spoiled since you returned and couldn’t be more grateful and happier. Tengan has bought a mountain of clothing items for both you and the baby, claiming that it would be the most flamboyant child around - after his own, of course. Suma, Hinatsuru and Makio were always around, dousing you with compliments and gushing over your growing bump.

Inosuke was still curious about your stomach, but understood you weren’t fat. He’d still gift you leaves and other things he could find and become one of your eating buddies, even eating food from your plate. Tanjiro had scolded him but you assure that it was alright.

Shinra was recovering and now could move freely without a mountain of cast and bandages. You were glad the boy survived, truly. He had grown slightly from the frightened little boy of Final Selection. Upon learning that he had no family left to go to, you had offered for him to stay with you - much to Sanemi’s dismay. However, if he didn’t want to admit it, Shinra was much like his own brother. Genya and he were the same age, often having similar outbursts and interests. Plus he couldn’t be upset that you’ve grown an older sibling-like bond to the boy. It was one of the many reasons why he loved you.

“Why wouldn’t I be attracted to you?” Sanemi has a look of confusion on his face as he awaits your answer.

Sanemi thought you were beautiful now more than ever. You were carrying his child, after all, putting your body at risk for him and the child you shared. It makes the man angered at himself for having you think that he wouldn’t find you attractive.

Maybe it was because he hasn’t attempted to touch you - which it isn't like he didn’t want to. He finds himself wanting to be inside you all the time but he stops himself from trying and would rather jack it off in the bathroom. You had just returned and he was sure the last thing you wanted to do was be intimate with him, and so he waited for you to initiate it.

However, then you asked him now as the both of you laid in bed, a calloused hand rubbing your stomach if he found you unattractive due to your appearance.

“I’m kinda fat right now and-”

“Did that boar call you fat, again?” Sanemi hisses, eyes glaring. He wanted to castrate Inosuke when he found out he said it the first time but refrained because of you.

You roll your eyes. “No. It’s how I feel.” you tell him. “You don’t attempt to touch me. I don’t think you find me as attractive as before.”

Sanemi sighs. He wants to laugh because damn, you had no idea how he truly desired to have you. He doesn’t want to hurt you is another reason why he stops himself - the fear of leaving your perfect skin with bruises and marks. That, and if anything happened to his child or you during the act, he would never forgive himself.

“You can sit on my face?” Sanemi offers suddenly, far too excited that you’re gasping.

“No!” you exclaim, growing hot at his sudden words. 

“Why not?” Sanemi questions, feeling disappointed.

“I-I’m too big to be sitting on you, Nemi!” you roll your eyes but manage to giggle. 

“No you aren’t.” Sanemi assures. “Have you forgotten what I was prior? Have I grown soft?” he’s teasing you not, but he peppers kissing onto your cheek, trailing down to your jaw to your neck. His hand slides up to cup your breast and you find yourself moaning at the sensation.

Sanemi didn’t care about himself and his own pleasure. He found pleasure in your own. You were sensitive, far more than ever. Your breast had grown due to the pregnancy and Sanemi was but a man, diving right into them, rubbing and suckling on the sensitive nipple. 

You’re a moaning and gasping mess. You hadn’t realized just how much you missed Sanemi’s hands upon you. It was different from your time with him in Shinjuku, of course. He and you weren’t under a demon art - even though you couldn’t completely blame the mark. Now, however, Sanemi was sane and attentive, purely focusing on worshiping you.

You’re unsure when Sanemi had managed to strip you of your underwear but in a matter of seconds you’re bare to him, a humiliating feeling washing over you when you feel his lips upon your thighs.

“Nemi…”

Sanemi grunts a response, kissing until he finds your wet lips. He quickly pecks them before his tongue lapse between your folds. He keeps you in a firm hold as you’re squirming. He doesn’t hold back in pleasuring you, enjoying the sounds of your sweet moans.

Sanemi’s tongue is flat as he bobs his head back and forth, determined to make you cum. Once he realizes you’ve begun to relax in his hold, his left hand add’s two fingers inside of you and pumps.

Your back arches, a slew of moans, grunts and gasps releasing from your lips. Your walls clench around his fingers, thighs trembling at the pleasure. You weren’t aware how much you truly missed Sanemi, even outside of intimacy. You were only intimate with him one time (for hours on end) and even then, waking up alone without his warmth felt lonely. Now you can wake up to him besides you, hand onto your stomach. It felt nice - almost as if you never left to begin with.

Sanemi’s fingers curl inside of you, pumping a little faster. He muffles against your clit when he feels your hands in his hair. His pants were feeling tight, cock twitching.

You begin to grind against his tongue and Sanemi encourages it. He removes his fingers from inside of you to now grip your thighs to give you more access to do so.

“Please, Nemi…” you groan, licking your lips. You were now clenching around nothing. “...I need you.”

Sanemi lifts from between your legs, licking your sweet slick from his lips. He looks at your face to find you already looking at him through hooded eyes.

Sanemi could never deny you - not now especially. He knows what you want and he’s quick to undress himself. He’s hesitant slightly, not wanting to ever harm you. He lays beside you and offers a quick peck onto your cheek before gently pushing you onto your side. He wanted you to be comfortable.

Sanemi lifts your leg, making sure he held it up for you so you didn’t have to. He centers himself at your entrance and shudders, the familiar warmth and wetness brings back the memories of when he first had you.

You’re clamping around Sanemi as he enters you slowly. His breath tickles your neck where he’s kissing lovingly. Sanemi’s slow with his thrusts, but it feels good nonetheless. He never knew sex could be just as amazing when he wasn’t being rough, but he noted that it was better because it was with someone he loved.

“It’s okay to go faster.” you moan. Your hand wraps around his wrist for comfort. “You won’t be hurting me.”

Sanemi grunts. He does what you ask, picking up his pace only slightly. Your juices are coating his cock, pussy clenching so heavenly around him that he catches himself fluttering his eyes closed. He inhales your familiar scent - the same scent that has since plagued his home. His heart no longer feels lonely, yearning for a lost love.

“I love you.” Sanemi murmurs, the confession causing his cheeks to flush red. He hasn’t told you explicitly like this before, only while you slept your exhaustion off in Shinjuku. His hand allows your leg to drop, sliding up your thigh to your stomach. “Thank you.” he groans, his thrusts becoming sloppy.

Sanemi was going to come and you know this. You wanted to ask what in the world he was thanking you for, but you had a clue. Random times Sanemi would thank you - “thank you for coming back to me”, “ thank you for carrying my child”, “thank you for loving me”.

Sanemi’s confession to loving you, however, was what made you cum and your words repeating his own was what made him.

A rare sight to see truly - Shinazugawa Sanemi was crying. Weeping at the sight of his child, cheeks flushed and puffy. The girls of the butterfly mansion were the first to be dumbfounded by the sight, gasping at the tall, scarred man with bulging muscles. The same man who would slam the door open and demanded to be treated, uncaring if they were busy or not. Now this same man held such a small infant in his arms, so close to his chest afraid to let go. 

You were brought into the Butterfly Mansion by Shinra one evening while Sanemi had been out gathering the food you were craving. You were stunned when not ten minutes later your water had broken and Shinra was a nervous wreck, eyes wide and looked as though he was nearly about to cry. He was then instructed to go get Sanemi while Aoi set you up on the birthing futon, the three small girls whose names he had not learned were gathering towels, water and other supplies for the birthing process.

Sanemi was by your side no later than five minutes, having thrown the food in Shinra’s arms and dashed away, a gush of in his trail. It was truly a sight to see - Sanemi so caring and loving, holding onto you while murmuring how amazing you were doing. He allowed you to hold his hand and squeeze the life out of it - whatever it took for you to deliver the child safely.

The first sounds of cries cause a wave of relief over Sanemi, you crashing against him in exhaustion. He recalls kissing your head, the sounds of his child louds wails are an accomplishment of what you brought into this world.

“It’s a boy!” Naho, Sumi and Kiyo say in unison and Aoi only smiles towards the wide-eyed former Hashira. She had placed the baby in your arms, innocent eyes looking around curiously but not focusing on anything.

It wasn’t far when the small room was full, Hinatsuru, Makio and Suma low cooing at the sight of the baby. Shinra has a soft smile on his lips, paying his own visit while Tengan is beside Sanemi, who’s eyes had not left his son or you.

“How does it feel?” Tengan asks Sanemi, who blinks but doesn’t take his eyes from you.

“Surreal.” Sanemi responds.

Sanemi felt happy for once. Was it selfish to say this was the happiest he felt in years? He was happy when you came back into his life and brought a new meaning into it. He can even say he felt happy when he learned that they had won the battle against Muzan, even if in the moment he wished he would have died alongside his brother. 

However, there was no happiness that could replace the one he felt at the sight of his child; his son. There was like a new light that overcame him as he watched you nurse his child or hold him close with such love. It’s insane to think that you were the reason that he felt happy once more - he was once content on dying knowing that he would possibly never have a family. Now, he cannot imagine his life without the little family you have given him.

“I don’t think Y/N-san can see us anymore.” Teiko says, a little sadness laced into her voice. “Another boy in the family.”

“Yes.” Sumi murmurs. “At least he’s cute!”

Genya places both hands upon his sisters shoulders. He has a soft smile on his lips, eyes watching his elder brother and how content he appeared. He then looks towards you and the baby - his nephew. “Aniki is happy again.” he says, more to himself than his sisters. 

Sanemi had kneeled down besides you, his index finger lightly stroking his son's cheek.

“Thank you, Y/N.” Genya says, understanding fully that you could no longer see nor hear him. Teiko and Sumi have now disappeared and he finds himself fading, as well. 

#sanemi smut #kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer #sanemi x reader #genya shinazugawa #genya x platonic reader #phantasm #sanemi-whore #demon slayer smut #kimetsu no yaiba smut #afab reader #cruel world #all night #sanemi angst #sanemi fluff #kny angst #kny fluff #kny smut

[gamergirl-niffler]

I could use some comforting, you know? Can I ask for Kyōjurō, Sanemi, Muzan and Gyutaro with a girlfriend who lost their sight in battle (for slayers - in the battle against Muzan; for demons - in the battle against demon slayers)

Ohhh sweetie! I did my best, I hope you'll like what I did!

Demon Slayer men & demons x blinded s/o

Sanemi 

- Everyone sees Sanemi as a cold man. The one that doesn't really care about anyone else, but he does care about you. 

- This soft side is a secret, available only for you (and his little brother, sometimes) to witness.

-  He visits you every day if he only can. When he needs to leave for more than a day, he not only informs you, but also asks (better word would be orders) Genya to visit you to 'fill in' for him.

-  When he is with you, Sanemi is a completely different man. He isn't the same Shinazugawa that everyone knows.

- Sanemi can of course help you around. He is cleaning and cooking for you, making sure you are as comfortable as possible.

- His favorite part is when the two of you sit on the egawa and enjoy the beautiful day.

- This can't be more perfect. He is holding you close in a tight embrace while talking.

- Sanemi loves you deeply, but there is one thing he will never tell you. He blames himself for your sight loss, it's his fault your beautiful eyes lost the shine and color because he wasn't there to protect you.

- You always seem to feel when he slips into those thoughts. Your one hand grabs his while the other moves back into his hair.

- Your touch brings him back to the right place. You are still with him. That's the most important.

- He is going to fucking rip apart the demon that did this to you.

Kyojuro

- Kyojuro is a good and affectional man. 

- He remembers his dear mother and how much help she needed, so he is here to deliver and assist you.

- Similar to Sanemi, he visits you with Senjuro or asks him to visit you whenever he himself isn't available.

- Every day Kyojuro is taking you for a walk, describing what he sees. Whenever he sees a dog or cat, he calls them over just so you can pet them.

- He loves to eat with you. Kyo is sitting close when the two of you enjoy the meal, talking about all the flavors.

- Kyojuro isn't feeding you. You aren't a child, you can eat on your own, BUT he is there just in case.

-  Since losing your sight, you cannot enjoy a good book. Thankfully, your sweet boyfriend is there. Kyojuro finds a comfortable spot for the two of you to sit and then starts to read for you.

- Of course it's not just reading, he is doing the best job possible. He is even making funny voices if needed.

- When you doze off on his shoulder, he chuckles softly. After putting the book away, he moves you to your bed.

- Kyojuro tucks you in and stays by your side, just in case you suddenly wake up. He doesn't want you to feel sad and/or scared when he isn't next to you.

- Revenge isn't a good thing, but Kyojuro will deliver it to the demon that harmed you.

Gyutaro

- He is angry.

- Some pathetic slayer dared to put his filthy hands on his beloved.

- Because of the cursed blade slayers carry around, you cannot heal.

- How could they hurt his treasure! 

- Gyutaro in some way sees it in a good way - with your eyes gone, you don't need to look at his ugly body. He even tells you this at some point

- You scold him for this.

- You are so precious to him that you aren't allowed to leave his side.

- Of course Gyutaro is taking care of you as much as he needs to.

- While hunting, he shares his food with you.

- He doesn't want you to starve, and he is hoping that once you get strong enough, you'll be able to regenerate or change your body to regain your sight.

- Gyutaro isn't into cuddles, but things like this... But for you, he is ready to do this, just to make you happy.

- While he cuddles you, he is telling you everything he loves about you, and you do the same for him, making him groan.

- He makes sure that the slayer who crippled you is eaten by you and him.

Muzan

- The Demon King is furious!

- Slayer who dared to deprive you of your sight did not live to see another sunrise.

- He just gained one more reason to get rid of the slayers. No one cripples his beloved.

- Upper Moons as well as other pathetic demons are sent out to hunt down each member of the corps. He will feed them all to you!

- You are his special demon with even more special treatment.

- Your Demon King loves to cuddle you and keep you close. Afterall you are his treasure, he doesn't want to ever let you go, especially now.

- No Demon is allowed to disrespect you or look down on you. It means death.

- Muzan makes sure you never go hungry. How could he?

- He is working on his research, and you are there, listening to his voice and adding your own thoughts or ideas.

- Behind your back, he is working on a way to bring your sight back. He is ready to do everything he can to help you.

#demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer headcanons #kimetsu no yaiba headcanons #sanemi shinazugawa #sanemi x reader #shinazugawa x reader #kyojuro rengoku #kyojuro x reader #rengoku x reader #gyutaro x reader #muzan x reader

[zehl0w]

Mmmmmm genya doobles

#demon slayer #genya shinazugawa #tanjiro kamado #nezuko kamado #gentan #kimetsu no yaiba #god I love thinking abt genya and nezuko being besties and siblings #first one is ponytail squad !!!!!!! #third one is just a ~modern~ genya hehe #ggrvrgrjweggrrrr my brain has been chronically kny the past few days #I’m just very excited for season 2 I can’t wait to finally see my boy #I always fuck up genyas eyes I can never make them look the same #lol ceo of posting shit at like 3 in the morning

[atlas-of-a-human-soul]

Draw your swords, pt.4

Summary: In his attempt to get to know his wife, the Darkling realizes he might be getting too close.

Warnings: angst, swearing, sexual innuendoes, slightest bit of fluff

Part one // Part two // Part three   

=================================

Y/N couldn’t sleep that night. Not only did she agonize over the slightest possibility of his words being true, but the lingering of his lips on hers even hours after they’ve left tormented her mind. Instead of sleeping, she sat outside in the darkness with nothing but stars to keep her company. She shuddered with the cold wind as it chilled her, even the kefta didn’t protect her as well as she thought it would.

Sighing, she smiled up at the night sky, watching the stars in their celestial dance. It’s undeniable, she’s envious of them – their freedom is undisputed, their beauty unmatched by anything earthly. No one can force a star to marriage, no one can dull its brightness.

“Are you alright?” Genya spoke up, startling Y/N into a loud gasp.

Turning around, Y/N giggles in slight panic, a hand resting on her chest. “You scared me!”

“I didn’t mean to”, she chuckles too, coming closer to Y/N who let out a relieved sigh, only to look up once again.

“I couldn’t sleep”, she explains, “So I came here to watch the stars.”

“Most people are afraid of the dark”, Genya raised an eyebrow as she fixed her gaze on Y/N instead. She studied her carefully, unsure if she should invest all her hopes and dreams in her – no matter how striking she is.

“Oh, I’m scared of the dark!” Y/N exclaims, pointing up at the sky, “But the night sky is littered with lanterns, meant to guide you home. My mom always told me to look up whenever I feel lost, because the stars will help me find answers to any worry.”

Pursing her lips, Genya frowned, “Does that mean you doubt your plan?”

“No”, Y/N replied with haste, “I am simply trying to understand some of the chess pieces I thought I had figured out.”

Looking back at the Palace, Y/N’s eyes found the window of her room in an instant. A dark figure passed by it, the candlelight revealing the figure is pacing.

“He’s not a bad man, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

Holding her breath, Y/N’s eyes find amber ones, “That’s not what I’ve heard. His deeds have spoken plenty about the strength of his character.”

“He’s fighting a war, not just with the outsiders, not just your father, but those on our side as well.” Pausing, Genya steps before her, “Do you know what they call him?”

“The Darkling”, she states, “A starless saint, a demon, a shadow king.”

“So many of those names are meant to demonize him, to shun him from society simply for the power he was born with”, licking her lips, Genya reaches for Y/N’s hand. “His own people are dying simply for who they’re born as – humans, Shu, Druskelle, they’re all sharpening their swords. If he’s not feared, we’re all dead.”

Nibbling on her lower lip, Y/N closed her eyes. Exhaling, she faced Genya once more.

“Does that mean I should applaud him for the way he’s treated the First army so far? How can you defend him when he’s the one who brought you here…to the emperor?”

Retracting her hand, Genya flashed a smile – one too strained to be believable. “He tried to defend me and got himself punished for it. So I’m here and I’m telling you to give him a chance.” Walking past Y/N, Genya stops just a few paces behind her, “He might surprise you.”

All the things Genya said became faint echoes inside Y/N’s head. When she returned to the room, she was ready for a new quarrel with Kirigan. Despite her readiness, he was sound asleep as she slipped her kefta off. With trembling fingers, she lifted the comforter only to stifle a laugh upon a surprising sight. Not only had there been a pillow to separate them, but three to ensure she wouldn’t accidentally roll on his side during the night. Perhaps she did smother him the night before and for once, she didn’t feel ashamed, rather satisfied. If he’s so insistent on sharing a bed, why would she make it any easier on him?

Tossing the pillows aside, she slid onto his side. Pressing her lips in a thin line, she tried to wrap an arm around his middle, but she couldn’t do it with her heart clenching wildly inside her chest. She drew back, forming tight fists at her side as she glared up at the canopy in frustration. If she’s going to play well and win, she’ll have to swallow her pride and withstand some discomfort.

Staring daggers at the back of his head, Y/N held her breath as she half climbed atop of Kirigan. Waiting to see if he’ll wake, Y/N finally released a shuddered breath. Burying her nose in the crook of his neck, she finally felt herself warm up after being outside for so long.

Closing her eyes, she inhaled his scent – woodsy and clean as if he had just had a bath. She never realized it before, but he smelled the same way on their wedding day…and night. But also earlier when he was pressed against her, devouring her mouth. Just the thought of his arms around her, his tall frame against her and the feverish kiss they’ve shared had caused her heartbeat to quicken with no shame.

And while she drifted off, she failed to realize something else – the Darkling was very much awake.

Instead of moving away when he felt a weight atop of him, he struggled to even his breathing. She smelled like spring, like lilacs and oddly enough, he enjoyed it. Most times, he’d crinkle his nose in disgust for strong, flowery scents made him nauseous, but she didn’t have the heavy, unbearably thick air of perfume cling to her – it felt like it’s her natural scent.

Smiling, the Darkling allowed himself to relax once her breathing calmed down and while her hands and feet felt like icicles, her cold nose brought most of the discomfort. Once she warmed up, by stealing his body heat, the Darkling began to drift away too. After all, he was winning.

A single ray of sunshine came through the window, its heat tickling Y/N’s nose. Sleepily, she brushed at it then tried to turn away, but something blocked her way. She lazily opened her eyes and saw the strange bed canopy overhead. When she remembered where she was and how she fell asleep last night, she felt her face grow hot as blood rushed to her cheeks. Even her body seemed to blush. She moved her head toward the other side of the bed and looked at where her husband’s supposed to be, yet he was gone – only the pillows she could have sworn she removed remained.

There was no way of knowing it, but each morning, the Darkling opened his eyes and looked at her first. No matter if she was drooling or her hair matted on her face, he quite enjoyed his view. She seemed gentle, almost like a saint sent to remind him light can exist along with darkness he’s been shrouded in.

Disgruntled, she sat up and huffed. She wanted to wake up at the same time as he did. One, she wanted to see his reaction and laugh, two, she really wanted to discuss the kiss from before. Then again, she just wanted to see the general at his most vulnerable state – waking up disheveled, just like any human would. His perfectly styled hair unnerved her and she couldn’t help but wonder if Genya used her power on it because she had never once seen a hair out of place, not even after their kiss.

For the rest of the day, Y/N tried to catch him alone. Unfortunately, she barely saw her husband at all. A fleeting glance of acknowledgement was all she received as they passed each other in the hall, both surrounded by others.

At night, she laid awake in hopes of speaking to him before bed. The faint candlelight on the bedside table kept the darkness away, relieving her fear. Would he laugh at her if she admitted to it? After all, isn’t he the one who can create darkness out of thin air? Perhaps he’d shroud her with it and prove he truly is cruel, but she had no way of being sure. He must never know of it and she truly hoped never to see his display of power.

Lost in her thoughts, she blinked and it was morning.

Wide eyed, she sat up and looked to his side. It was unmade, the pillow dented right where his head was and yet she can’t remember hearing him arrive in the night or leave in the morning. She never does.

“Fuck”, she mutters under her breath as she slams a fist in his pillow. Grunting, she buries her face into it, muffling her frustrated scream.

“Are you done?” Genya frowned at her, waiting by the door while Y/N screamed at the top of her lungs into a pillow.

“YOU’VE GOT TO STOP SNEAKING UP ON ME!”

Scoffing, Genya rolled her eyes. “You need to be more perceptive about your surroundings.”

A knock on the door had startled them both, enough for them to both let out a strangled scream. The door opened before either of them gave the permission and once they realized who it was that entered, they didn’t need a reason as to why.

“Ah, you’re awake.” The Darkling grinned at his wife who narrowed her eyes at him immediately.

“Your voice gives me a headache”, Y/N complains.

Squinting at her, the Darkling wondered if a woman could be so infuriating without wielding some mystic power to make her so.

“I believe you agreed to ride with me.”

“Oh”, Genya smirks, “She’ll ride you –“, covering her mouth, Genya giggles as she sees Y/N’s glare is on her, “I meant, with you.”

“I’ve prepared the horses”, he waited for her to respond, to give him reason to dislike her yet she didn’t.

“I will keep my word”, Y/N stood with her formidable gaze on his. She dared not look at his lips for they brought memories and self-loathing she’d rather avoid. After all, what kind of a woman quivers for her enemies touch?

“Wonderful”, he smirks, “I’ll wait for you to dress.”

Remaining in his spot, his hands at his sides, Kirigan raised his eyebrows as both women stared at him.

“Get out”, Y/N waves him off and he clicks his tongue.

“You may not let me touch you, but I can look.”

Angry, she narrowed her eyes at him, “That didn’t stop you from pinning me to a door.”

Genya’s eyes widen, pressing her lips to stop herself from commenting on their little exchange.

Shrugging, he stepped closer. His eyes raked over her body, the nightgown leaving little to imagination. “You didn’t seem to protest”, he leans in, “Especially since you proved you could easily escape me.”

Swallowing thickly, she exhaled through her nose. She couldn’t argue with that, now could she? If she wished, she could have forced him to unhand her. She could have fought him, but she didn’t. She may have been startled when he kissed her but she barely tried to push him away and still, when she had the option to back away, she was the one leaning in for a kiss when he lifted her onto the table. He played a game with her and she lost that day and now he gets to be smug about it.

“As your husband, I promise to protect you from all others. If anyone harms you, they’ll part with their life. For that alone, I deserve an occasional view.”

Winking, he takes a step back and sends a smile in Genya’s direction before turning on his heel and walking out.

“YOU KISSED HIM?!”

Groaning, Y/N throws her head back, “Sort of. It’s more like he kissed me and I didn’t fight him on it.”

“So, does this mean you like him?” Wiggling her eyebrows, Genya squealed in excitement. “Are you bringing him on this plan of yours?”

Holding out her hand, Y/N shook her head, “No, no and no. I don’t trust him one bit and he isn’t exactly a man who’d go along with it.” Exhaling loudly, Y/N decided, “He must be removed along with the emperor.”

When she walked outside, Y/N breath was caught in her throat. The sight of the general on a horse truly felt like a fabrication. Never had she seen a man as majestic as him, as proud and aggravatingly cocky all at once. With his black kefta and the cape, he rode on a black stallion as if he were a mere extension of his will.

She wasted no more time in mounting her white mare, chasing after the Darkling who seemed to only then notice he’s not alone.

Her horse was not above average size, but she was alert and slender-limbed. Her muscles and good nature allowed Y/N to keep up a fairly good pace, never too far behind the black stallion her husband rode. The stallion was clearly riled up, competitive by nature. Anyone else on its back would be a great danger for the rider, but he clearly trusted Kirigan.

The wind blew her hair back and the cold was rather unforgiving on her skin. Passing him narrowly once they entered the woods, she didn’t look back. Instead, she gripped the reigns tighter and continued to breathe as the cold air made her mouth dry and throat scratchy.

Feeling his gaze on her, she relents, looking back at him.

“Where’s your coat?!” He shouted after her and only then did she realize it must have fallen off. Genya made it pretty for a romantic ride, not quite as practical for a race. But that’s not what truly made Y/N’s heart skip a beat. The hint of worry laced in the words of an angry general is what betrayed him and she couldn’t help but wonder – what if it’s more than just lust for him?

“It was slowing me down”, she couldn’t suppress a victorious smile just as he couldn’t suppress an annoyed grunt. Yet they both slowed down, neither of them speaking as they turned around and headed straight to the palace.

“You’re an avid rider.” The general conceded as he dismounted. Before she could blink, he was beside her, his hands on her hips as he pulled her of the horse and effectively stole her breath away.

The rosy colored cheeks left him defenseless as he stared at her too, a little too intently for it to be innocent. Taking her hands in his, he brought them up to his mouth, blowing at them. She kept her gaze at him, undoubtedly in shock as her cold hands started to tingle with the warmth of his breath.

“I’ll have to leave for a few days”, he speaks before she has a chance. “You’ll have the bed all to yourself.”

“Don’t I have to come? If it concerns my peo –“, she began, but he silenced her.

“It’s got nothing to do with the army. I’m merely doing an errand for the emperor.”

Looking at her hands still in his, she pursed her lips. “Doesn’t he have enough servants to do his bidding?”

A breathless chuckle escapes him, “Why? Will you miss me?”

Rolling her eyes, she snorts, “Why? Do you fancy yourself as someone of importance?”

He looked at her like she's the Sun, angrily squinting at every second she spent in his presence. He never looked at her other than in frustration. At least she thought so. It’s how he looked at her a month ago when they first met on a field stained with Druskelle blood. He stood there, alone and victorious as she stepped over the bodies after arriving on this side of the fold with a Sandskiff.

All of their conversations were arguments – she’d narrow her eyes and he’s squint at her, throwing jabs at each other every chance they get, but this felt different. Something changed after the wedding and she wasn’t entirely sure what.

Achingly aware of their closeness, she couldn’t help but ask. "What is this between us?"

Pausing, he looked at her with wonder. If he could put it to words, it wouldn’t make any sense. His mind could hardly fathom what exactly she meant to him other than being a nuisance, but he didn’t exactly hate her as he believed at first when he admittedly hoped she’d find herself eaten by Volcra while crossing the Shadow fold. What he hated was not having a choice. He hated how arrogant she is and how little respect she has for her superiors. He especially hated her mortality, her species and all the atrocities they’ve committed against him and his kind.

He didn’t love her, that he was sure of. He couldn’t possibly care for her either. Lust, winning this game, feeding his ego by having Zlatan’s daughter at his feet is what he longed for. So no, he didn’t love her, but a part of him feared he might love her in time. For the first time in a very, very long time, the Darkling had a fear and it carried her name.

Perhaps that’s why he reacted the way he did when she asked him if there is something between them.

"Nothing." He grabbed the back of her neck, his lips pressing against hers hard.

He was right, she realized. There was nothing between them, nothing between their lips, not even air.

Pulling away, he smirks as she inhales sharply.

"Did you feel a connection?" He looks her in the eye, his lips set in a firm line.

"Yes", she whispers shakily.

His eyes harden as an ache in his chest reminds him of his fear. Someone like him must give up anything he could possibly love for the loss and disappointment are inevitable. She’s mortal, an enemy behind his borders he can never trust. So he will shut his heart out. Love is not an option for the Darkling, he reminds himself. The last time he allowed himself to love was also the day his heart turned to stone. So, he will not love her and she will not love him. He will destroy that possibility, cut any ties that bind them. Lust is the only thing he will let fester.

Leaning in, his lips brush hers softly as he whispers against them, "That's why you're a fool." Stepping back, he heard her gulp. “The connection you feel is lust, that’s all we have and it’s all we will ever have. Accept it.”

“Is that true or are you just afraid?!” Her voice wavers and she instinctively steps toward him, asserting dominance she felt was lost.

“General”, Ivan calls out, just in case Kirigan needed an excuse to leave.

“Afraid?” The Darkling chuckles dryly, averting his gaze to Ivan who waited for him at the entrance. “I’m not afraid of anything”, he remarks as his eyes lock on her lips again, “Certainly not of my wife.”

As he stepped back, the Darkling caught the strangest look in her eyes. It looked like clarity, total and complete sobriety from the ecstasy his presence gave her. She stood proud, despite the self-loathing in her previously warm eyes that slowly turned them back to the ice she held when she first laid her eyes on him.

=============================

Tags: @bruxa0007 @rangotangomango @kaitlyn2907 @thestoryofmylife9 @shelivesindaydreamswme @hxrgreeves @safetyhtom @kaqua @savannah-elliott @all-art-is-quite-useless  @azure23x @girlmadeofavocados @ashdab2611 @acciorudolphx @ladyblablabla @wckedheart​

Part 5  

#the darkling #the darkling x reader #shadow and bone #aleksander morozova #general kirigan #general kirigan x reader #aleksander kirigan #aleksander x reader #aleksander morozova x reader #the darkling au #the darkling fanfiction #the Darkling fic

[alinastracker]

I MADE SOME BREAKFAST IF YOURE HUNGRY for my beloveds pls if u so wish

ANYTHING FOR U MY LOVE

Better Late Than Never

Mal had been half-watching a replay of the England-Scotland game, half falling asleep the previous night when his phone sent him jolting awake.

Beep-beep, is that my bestie in a Tessie? Fresh blow out, skin on tan, ooh, she ready Bitch, you look goodt, with a T at the end I'ma hype her every time, that my motherfuckin' friend

He knew from the ringtone alone who was calling, so where normally he might pause before taking a call — he'd go mental talking to one more damn scammer — Mal answered instantly, fumbling to bring the phone up to his ear.

"'Ello," he answered, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. He quickly checked the time on his phone and frowned. 12:30 AM. His roommate slash best friend slash unrequited love of his life never called this late. She was either already home, sitting beside him on the couch watching a bad movie, or settled in her destination for the night. Genya's. Inej's. That asshole she'd been hooking up with.

"Mal?" Alina said, her voice shaky. It sounded like she was crying.

He was up in an instance, already moving to the door, stuffing his feet into slides and grabbing his keys, any thought of sleep long forgotten.

"Send me your location."

By the time she did, he was already in the car, flooring it out of the building's parking garage. Alina was sniffling, trying to hide just how upset she was. But he knew, he always knew.

"Did he hurt you, 'Lina?"

"Mal—"

"I swear, I'll kick his ass. I can call Nikolai for backup, but I'm sure I can take him on my own."

"Can you stop being a stereotypical man for five seconds, please."

He sighed. "Right, 'course. Sorry." Mal glanced at the GPS on his phone. Thank the saints she was close. "I'm five minutes away. Do you want me to stay on with you?"

"No," Alina said, followed by another sniffle that only made him drive faster. "Just hurry. And can we get chips?"

Twenty minutes later, they were back at the flat, Alina with a McDonald's bag and chocolate milkshake in her hands. Her makeup was smeared all over her face, a mess of black smudges. How dare her, he thought, still look so fucking beautiful.

Mal had tried asking her what happened, but she'd only shaken her head.

"I don't want to talk about it," she had said, her voice so delicate that he nearly turned the car around and let toxic masculinity win this round.

Instead he took her to get her food, then drove them home. Let her lock herself in her room, and by the sounds of it, cry some more.

It was morning now and Mal was standing in nothing but his old plaid jim-jams, fixing up breakfast for the two of them. Crepes, because he knew she loved her sweets, and hash browns, just in case she still had a hankering for potatoes. He got out their old wooden serving tray they only ever used when one of them — or more often, both of them — were sick and wanted soup in bed. Mal stacked up the crepes, piled on the hash browns, bringing all the sugary syrup and wicked hot sauce she liked for the respective items, and knocked on her bedroom door.

Alina appeared a few moments later. She was still wearing last night's clothes, her hair up in a clip yet still all over the place, some of the makeup still holding out on her face. She looked tired, and he wondered how much she had actually slept.

"What's this?" she asked, the hint of a smile on her face.

Mal shrugged. "Err, I made some breakfast, if you're hungry?"

"Crepes and hash?"

He nodded.

She smiled a real smile then — the smile he liked to think she saved for him alone, but he knew better. Alina motioned for him to follow her in, and they settled on her bed together.

"This is all for me?" she asked, holding up the single fork he'd brought along. When he nodded, she laughed. "Mal, this is enough food for an army. Go get a fork, you dork." She backed up the statement by poking his side, and Mal blushed.

A moment later, he was back with a fork, and for a while, the two of them ate in silence.

When they had reached the point of only picking at the remaining food, he asked, "Do you want to talk about last night?"

Alina sighed. "I do suppose I owe you an explanation."

"You don't owe me anything," Mal said. "I just want to make sure you're okay."

She looked down, fiddling with the end of her dress. The fabric had started to bunch up, exposing so much of her thigh and — no, nope, this is not the moment, Malyen.

Blowing out a breath, she said, "I went there for a hook up. You probably guessed that. But, I don't know. When it came to actually . . . hooking up, something in me just didn't want it." She was still looking anywhere but his face. "And I told him that, and he stopped. He didn't try — it wasn't like that. But he got really, really angry. Said I had no right coming over and drinking his alcohol and dressing the way I did just to hold out. And then I started crying and he got even angrier."

Mal couldn't help it. He pushed the breakfast tray away and wrapped his arms around her. Alina relaxed against him, tucking her head under his chin. She always had been tiny like that.

"I was just really scared. So I ran out and I called you. That's it, that's all that happened. It was my fault—"

"Don't you dare," he whispered into her hair. "It's not remotely your fault, Alina. I don't care what you drank or how you dressed. You should know that more than anyone, miss self proclaimed raging feminist."

Alina laughed, and it was better than any song he'd ever heard. Just hearing her laugh after last night, after hearing how upset she had been. He hadn't really relaxed, he realized, until that exact moment, with her safe and laughing in his arms.

"I'm sorry, Mal," she said softly, taking him by surprise.

"Sorry for what?"

"For doing this to you, every time. Any mess that I get myself into, I always call you, and you're always there. Every time."

"Of course, 'Lina. You don't have to apologize." Mal swallowed the lump in his throat and hoped she hadn't noticed. "That's what best mates do, huh?"

"Right," she muttered. "Best mates."

"You don't sound very pleased with that," he teased, disguising the sting in his chest.

The room was dark for a Sunday morning, storm clouds ruining any chance for sunlight. But he could still see the look on Alina's face as she pulled back, the same look she got when she was doing something new, whether it be riding his skateboard for the first time or asking out a stranger, nervous but determined.

"You're right," she said, softly, firmly. "I'm not pleased with that."

Time was moving too fast. In a blink, Alina was closer than ever, pressing her lips to his. And like an idiot, he froze.

She pulled back when he failed to respond, disappointed but not defeated. "Sorry," she said. "There's a reason none of my hook ups have been working lately, and I just had to try."

Mal shook his head, trying and failing to form words. So he forced time to slow and kissed her instead. Softly, firmly. An exploration he had imagined so many times, and none of them held a light to the real thing.

Alina curled her arms around his neck, pressing herself closer. She was so soft, from her lips to where his hand rested on the small of her back. When she ran her tongue along his lower lip, Mal opened for her, and they moaned into each other. She tasted sweet from the syrup with the occasional lick of heat from the hot sauce. Though there was plenty of the latter between them already.

Neither of them said anything for a long moment when they finally pulled away, sucking air into their lungs. But their eyes were locked, and after all these years, they never needed words.

Alina was on him again in moments, their kiss no longer soft and sweet, but hard and desperate. Mal bit down on her lower lip, she felt her way across his bare chest, left scratches down his back when he started kissing her neck.

He's not sure which one of them kicks the breakfast tray off the bed. Maybe they both had a role. But at the sound of crashing dishes, they broke apart once more.

"Oops," Alina mumbled.

"Shit," Mal breathed. "We should probably clean that."

"Yeah, 'suppose. Ants or whatever."

A moment of silence stretched between them as neither made a move toward the mess on the floor.

"I mean, the ants won't move too fast," Mal reasoned.

"Not at all. We're on the third floor, anyway."

One look, and Mal reached for her again. Alina giggled as his mouth found her neck once more, her hand taking hold in his hair, directing him. Meanwhile, he was positive he currently had the most throbbing erection of his life. As if sensing this, Alina rolled her hips against his, and when she gasped, he knew she had felt it.

"'Lina—"

"Saints, Mal. You're . . . wow."

He was blushing again. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry? Why the hell are you sorry?"

"Because you were just talking about that twat pressuring you for sex! Not exactly time for the erection from hell!"

Alina laughed. "Mal, I didn't want fuck him. But I've wanted to fuck you for five years."

"Well now you tell me."

They both laughed then, and Alina pulled him into another kiss.

"Better late than never?"

Mal groaned as she rolled her hips again. "Definitely."

That morning, after living in their flat for three years, Mal and Alina got their first noise complaint.

Two Months Later

Mal was half-asleep, half-watching some shitty horror movie on a lazy Sunday afternoon, when the sound of his phone had him jolting awake.

Can I go where you go? Can we always be this close forever and ever? And ah, take me out, and take me home You're my, my, my, my Lover

He didn't have to check before answering. Mal knew exactly who was calling.

#malina #malina fanfic #alina starkov #malyen oretsev #fanfic #writing #grishaverse fanfic #oretssev #userseva #I HOPE U ENJOY THIS MY LOVE

[black-rose-writings]

Reading Siege and Storm because I hate myself

To begin, I’d like to state that this is my first read-through and I only have vague idea of the plot I’ve gathered from fanfics and tumblr posts.

Long post ahead

Chapter 1

So... at first I was like - huh, this isn’t as bad as I thought, but the moment Alina gets introspective, it all goes to hell.

Like, she’s being physically made sick by not using her powers, which is making her feel useless - like, she says, pretty much verbatim: “The only thing I was ever good at was being a Sun Summoner and I’m not that anymore.”

I’m gonna beat those paragraphs over the head of anyone, who says Alina got a good ending.

I’ve also noticed just how often the like “I pushed that thought away” is used and more often than not, it’s used on thoughts that should probably not be pushed away.

Ah, yes, here he comes, my boy Darkles, being the dramatic bitch he always is. We get it, you’re the hot villain, tempting the good and pure heroine away from being good and pure.

And I’m just now realizing how many times in this chapter has Alina lamented their lack of privacy. We have to ensure the reader doesn’t hink she’s *gasp* sleeping with Mal.

Chapter 2

What?

Alina is tripping balls while being put under by a Heartrender, got it.

Darkling is being the voice of reason, but I’m getting the distinct feeling it won’t last.

Ivan gets one point, because Alina is in fact a traitor, but he’s also being a cunt, so it doesn’t really count.

Alina at Sturmhond: Do you even care about Ravka?

Me at Alina: Do you?

Chapter 3

“Mermaids are not real”. I’m pretty sure they are in the Grishaverse.

My boy Darkles is still making sense, but Alina is dedicated to being against him just for the hell of it, it seems.

Did this bitch just throw a tantrum, because he told her, what we can assume is the truth? Okay. Like, I get that she’s at best 18, but still. Not exactly the type of protagonist whose head I like being in.

And in that moment, dozens of smut fics were born.

Chapter 4

Wow, that was quick.

Aaand. What had just happened?

Chapter 5

Sturmhond is a funny bitch, I’ll give him that.

And this entire conversation, it seems like Mal’s entire purpose is to stand behind Alina threateningly and repeat what she said, lol.

I’d like to remind Alina (and LB) that a king in an absolutist monarchy (which is what Ravka appears to be) is very much a tyrant. Don’t make it sound like Ravka didn’t have a tyrant before. And at the very least, my boy Darkles seems pretty competent.

A man calling himself a Storm Dog likes dogs. No shit.

Chapter 6

I hate Mal. Dude, this is your girlfriend, maybe like... listen to her? Don’t bludgeon her with the one other guy she was kinda-sorta with, when you are a well known manwhore?

I don’t know man, I don’t like him.

Everyone: You can’t have more than one amplifier, it’s dangerous.

Alina: Haha, sparkles go brrrr

Chapter 7

In other news, pirates are funny.

Holy shit, they have a plane.

That was... a lot. And we’re crossing the Fold again, yay.

Chapter 8

You feel bad for the Volcra but not for the people you’ve left for dead in the Fold last time? Okay.

Baby Volcra. Am I supposed to say “ew” or “aww”? If I tried doing both at the same time, it would probably sound like one.

Jesus fucking Christ this book is a ride.

Did Alina really just have an “oh no, he’s hot?” moment? *sighs*

Puppy boy has a title longer than Daenerys, jesus.

Alina, my dear, you could have waited for a bit before doing that. There’s like thirty soldier with guns around you and you’ve just punched a prince.

Then again, you’ve never been smart, have you?

Chapter 9

For once, I completely agree with him. I know you two have lost your one shared braincell on that first crossing of the Fold but still, that was very dumb of you, Alina.

I’m starting to get why people were calling Nikolai “Darkling light”. Definitelly seems appropriate.

Mal, calm the fuck down, that was the least romantic proposal I’ve ever heard and you know it.

You two didn’t even let Alina get a word in for the last page. What right do you have to her, Mal, huh? Nikolai is making sense and you’re being an idiot.

What’s your deal Mal? What the fuck do you want?

And why in the hell are you the endgame love interest?

That’s an awful lot of guilt-tripping you’re doing there, Mal. No need to be pissy about it.

Chapter 10

The bones thing is definitelly yikes.

Saints, Mal, are you on your period or something? Alina doesn’t belong to you. Alina can make her own choices. Get a grip.

“You think I’m like the Darkling?” Yes. The Darkling isn’t all bad. You’re at war. No need to get your panties in a twist over a few fingers.

Oh, look, Alina has a cult now, nice.

Chapter 11

Your “dad” is a rapist, Nikolai. Quite possibly a pedo. He got exactly what he deserved.

I’d go for the second option. Especially after that stunt. Jesus, you could have asked her beforehand.

At least Darkles had the decency to make out with her in private.

Also like... why is every single person in this series so far an asshole?

Chapter 12

We meet the King again, unfortunately.

Alina gets Darkles’s old job.

This should be a total disaster, but let’s see where it goes anyway.

Chapter 13

Alina’s nuts, yay.

(I know they have a Force-bond-thingy. I also know they did it before Reylo did.)

Chapter 14

Oh boy, Alina’s not doing as bad as I thought.

For the 100th time in this book, I wish I had Nikolai’s confidence. Though it is getting a bit too much.

Puppy boy is dropping some truth bombs. Nice.

But he doesn’t realize that my boy Darkles has very good reasons to not align with Fjerdans - a) they think he’s a demon and b) they want Grisha dead.

I’m not gonna say she was, but like... the monarchy is very much corrupt.

Oh, boy, Baghra. This one’s gonna go well.

Yep, Baghra’s as pleasant as ever.

So... Baghra’s plan in book 1 really had been to just have Alina run away and hope for the best? Jesus Christ, lady. I’m not saying she deserved to have her eyes taken away, but she is definitelly a trash person and I’m not surprised her son turned out the way he did.

Also, I’m fairly certain that Baghra is literally slowly killing herself - that the reason she looks so old and frail is because she’s started to supress her power and it’s literally killing her, because, you know, she’s bonkers old.

Chapter 15

Nerd Alina > Self-pitying Alina

Also, I’m just saying, Alina comments on Zoya being attractive a whole lot - I get that she’s meant to be insecure, but I’m interpreting it as her being gay, because I need some happiness in my life, okay?

Just kill the sleazy old Rasputin-wanna-be. There’s plenty of them to go around in this series.

Chapter 16

Vasily takes after his father in creep factor.

Why not the Darkling being courted by a horny prince? Be a bit creative.

Chapter 17

Nikolai has big ADHD energy and I love him for it. Fits right in with the heavily autism-coded Fabricators.

*sighs at heteronormativity again*

*sighs at improper gendering of titles*

Date night with Mal. This is gonna be a disaster, isn’t it?

Chapter 18

Fun night of cultural appropriation, yay.

I hate cultists.

LET. ALINA. GO. FERAL. Please.

You two are going to give me a headache, I swear.

Darkles cockblocking Alina. And Malice threw a tantrum. Nice.

Chapter 19

You’re way too harsh on Genya, Alina.

Horny Alina rights.

They have a laser, now. Cool. Or, well, enormously hot.

Mal is being a drunk a-hole. Great. When does he become likable? Does he ever?

Banter between Mal and Alina? Kinda weird, always somehow comes back to either of them being insecure.

Banter between Alina and Nikolai? I’m all for it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still a Darklina trash, but like... Nikolai is fun. I could see him and Alina having an arranged political marriage and ending up falling in love years into it, that’s all I’m saying.

Chapter 20

Just let this one go, Alina, please. You two are not working out. Please, end it with him. You’ll both probably be happier. (I’m saying this with the full knowledge that Malina is endgame).

Jesus Alina, get your shit together. You have every right to be mad, because you two didn’t actually break up, you didn’t kiss Nikolai and also, I don’t like Mal.

Sooo... when is Alina going to realize her manchild of a boyfriend is an amplifier?

Chapter 21

Alina has the horny sickness, lol.

Jesus Christ, girl, I don’t want to read your vaguely suicidal thoughts.

Mal, you fucking idiot.

Alina, stop defending Mal.

Chapter 22

Alina has a logical thought? Impossible.

Finally, some action.

Chapter 23

Oh, boi, this is going great.

Oh, boi, Alina’s having another martyr moment.

And, we’re done.

Finally.

That was a ride. Nothing really happens for like ten chapters and then everything happens in one and a half.

#shadow and bone #grishaverse #siege and storm #review #darklina #anti mal #I guess #reading binges like this yeet me right back into middle school

[aquitainequeen]

All Is Bliss (Until Someone Loses An Eye): Chapter 5: Fucking Fjerdan Fjucks

Deepest, most heartfelt thanks forever to @yototothelalafell ,@fairy-anon-godmother and @ellynneversweet for all their wonderful advice, support, enthusiasm and keen eyes, especially at such a difficult and very often fraught or jam packed time of the year! Particularly on this chapter, which, to quote G.R.R. Martin, was 'three bitches and a bastard'. (Peter would not behave.)

TW: Semi-public sexual touching of dubious consent, although it isn't explicitly described; George/Georgiana is enjoying it, but Peter likely didn't ask her before he started doing it and she doesn't really have the option to say no.

Peter welcomes back General Kirigan with open arms and fairly major injuries, but no actual deaths. (Yet.)

***

‘Peter, there’s word from Kirigan.’

Peter says ‘Fuck’, and before he can say off he realises, there’s something very familiar about this. It’s, oooo. It’s that word, that Kerch word, what’s it called. Dacha voo. When you do something and feel like you’ve done it before. Like routine, but scary. Him quite busy fucking George, and Grigor interrupting them just when it’s really getting fun, to tell him about a message from Kirigan. Apart from Peter having his fingers up inside George rather than his cock, and Grigor not bursting through his bedroom doors but sidling up between the two banqueting tables to the top table, and also probably half the court crammed in here at the moment and really starting to party now the food bit of the evening’s over, they’ve done all this before.

Dacha voo. It’s creepy.

Fuck, he’s been thinking too long. Never a good thing. At least he’s still been able to keep up with stroking George. He can always give her pussy a good petting even when his mind’s on more important things. Yes, even more important than pussy! He should say something. ‘Well, it’s about fucking time. Where the hell’s he been? How much longer before they get here?’

Grigor actually gulps, for saints’ sake. What else has fucking happened now?  ‘Actually, he and his entourage have arrived back at the Little Palace.’

This is definitely more important than pussy. ‘What? Since when?’

‘Only a very little while ago. Right now he’s waiting outside the Grisha Gate, for you to say he can come in.’

Oh fuck.

That’s not fair! There should be more time, the world shouldn’t be springing General Kirigan and Uncle Vanya on him all in one package and at the same time. That’s a terrible thing to do to a chap, and it shouldn’t be allowed.

‘Does he have the Sun Summoner with him?’

‘Not with with him, but apparently she’s back at the Little Palace.’

Then, it’s Peter’s party, he can tell Kirigan to go away and come back tomorrow if he wants to –

and Kirigan will bow his head and go away thinking how Peter’s nothing like his grandad with that look on his face that screams ‘I knew Peter the Great and you, fucking little half-Fjerdan full fuckwit, are no Peter the Great’, and Peter won’t be able to sleep or eat or fuck tonight for the squirms in his gut, and also Kirigan will tell the Sun Summoner-

‘Send word to tell him to come to me right now.’

Grandad probably wouldn’t have greeted Kirigan while still fingering someone, but he definitely wouldn’t have let himself be rushed either. So: it’s three minutes from this particular banqueting hall to the Grisha Gate if you scuttle, which the servant bearing the summons likely will, and three minutes back if you stride masterfully, which Kirigan obviously will, so Peter’s got, oh, say, three minutes to get George to climax and off his lap, two to get ready. Not a problem.

Save that he spots Aunt Elizabeth squeezing her latest squeeze while giving him the evil eye again. When Kirigan gets here she’ll probably want Peter to introduce Catherine or some shit, and if he doesn’t she’ll go on being as icy as the Permafrost. All because of Genya, for fuck’s sake. Besides also his unwillingness to fuck Catherine more than the prescribed amount, but he challenges dear aunty to make sex with his wife interesting.

Which she might. Ugh. This is why thinking too much ends in bad.

Right, new plan. Get George off while also getting Catherine ready and not thinking of her and Aunt Elizabeth together. ‘George, can you spot Catherine?’

‘Can’t you?’

‘Little busy here; I’ve roughly two and a half minutes to make you come.’

‘I don’t have a very good viewpoint from here. Grigor, dear, could you have a look?’

‘Of course, my dear. She’s…over by the wall, talking to Voronsky. Well, I say talking-’

That makes Peter want to see. ‘What, is she kissing him? Fondling him? Having him suck her tits?’

‘No to all three. They’re whispering together. Tenderly, if I’d have to venture a guess.’ Grigor sounds all soppy, like he’s envious. Of Voronsky, who is sterile as a mule and who must burn off all his clotted clogged frustrations through weird, bizarre and disgusting rituals. Like this ‘jogging’ Dr. Chekhov mentioned. It sounds sinister.

After far too long, Grigor finally adds, ‘She looks like she’s enjoying herself?’

Good. That’s good. If Catherine’s enjoying herself with her toy, then she isn’t being a fucking misery dragging the court down along with her, and she doesn’t need Peter to make her happy. ‘Cheers, Grigor. Now, can you spot Orlo?’

‘A little to your right.’

Peter swivels while George squirms when his wrist twists, and there’s Orlo, standing awkwardly by the wall as is now per usual. Dacha voo again, but did the little shit ever hang out at Peter’s parties so much before, even when he was ordered to join in? Fuck it, he’ll do.

Little squit Orlo might be, but he has a spooky sort of wooo for knowing when he’s wanted, (like that weird sense that Kirigan’s Ivan the Idiot has) though it’s he never knows when to fuck off. Once Orlo’s bent and scraped Peter can tell him to ‘Get my wife to stop pissing about with Voronsky and get over here if she wants to be introduced to Kirigan. She’s got three minutes.’

Orlo scurries off to the march of ‘fuck fuck fuck’. How much time does that leave for Peter and George? Fuck, he lost count with the petting and the talking and the spying on his wife.

George says with barely a stutter, ‘Orlo’s reached the Empress –‘

Fucking fuck it, Peter should have her moaning by now, not barely stuttering, the fuck’s the matter with him tonight?

‘-she looks like someone shot her pet bear. Again.’

Again with the bear. He should never have bought the bloody thing to start with. Also, perhaps he shouldn’t have shot it. ‘Fuck’s sake, what’s her problem now? If she starts being a cunt again in front of Kirigan, I’ll kill her and hide the body where no one will ever find it.’ Peter tries to spot Catherine but from this position he can only see Voronsky, all alone and trying not to look like he’s been cast aside like a less than satisfactory dildo.

Ooo, that was good.

Or, like Orlo. Even better!

Peter turns back to ask George, ‘Where the fuck’s she got to? Has she bolted?’

Grigor chimes in again, uninvited but then he does have the best view, ‘No, she’s still here in the room. She’s looking for someone. She’s found her!’

‘Who?’

‘Genya. She actually managed to sniff her out from her hiding spot. Seems she wants a spruce up.’

‘That cunt, I was going to ask Genya to spruce me up!’

Grigor hums. ‘Then you should have summoned her faster. The Empress got there first.’

Peter badly wants to take his fingers out of George and bounce her on his cock instead until she more than fucking stutters, except that Kirigan always knows when he’s recently been fucking. If Ivan the Idiot’s with him he’ll know even more, if that’s even possible. It’s heart-breaking, but he should probably finish up with George now to be on the safe side, and clean his hand off.

Grandad could greet Kirigan with fingers still pruney from someone’s cunt – fuck, Grandad could greet Kirigan with his cock still hard inside someone else!

‘George, you’d better go sit down, Kirigan will be here shortly. Sorry I couldn’t get you off; I got distracted.’

‘It’s no trouble!’

George slides up off Peter’s fingers and his lap, but she looks so forlorn and unsatisfied, and it wouldn’t be imperial to leave her with nothing, so he decides: ‘Grigor, I hereby delegate you to take over for me. Finish George off.’

‘What? Right now?’

Saints, Grigor’s such a moron sometimes. ‘Yes, right fucking now. If you wait, then she might not be wet any longer and you’ll undo all my hard work. Or else she’ll be wet and cold, and that would be worse for both of you.’

‘You’re quite right, as always, Peter. Come on, Grigor.’

Grigor sails off in the confidence of getting her orgasm one way or another; Grigor follows like he’s creeping to a doctor’s examination, or a funeral. One would think he weren’t going to stick his fingers in the most glorious woman in all Ravka. Well, East Ravka. Not as if Peter knows what the West’s like anymore.

Peter sucks George off his own fingers and he rubs anything left of her off on his breeches to try and get rid of the smell and, again, the general pruning.

Catherine plonks herself down next to him while Genya cranes around and over her to carry on with all of her woooo, even though Catherine’s hair and face were perfectly fine as they were when last he saw her, what’s all the fuss? If Peter says something nice to her then Aunt Elizabeth will stop bitching and moaning at him, so he’d better do it quick before Catherine assumes it’s just the woooo making him think with his cock.

‘Glad to see you’ve been availing yourself of Genya’s woooo. I don’t think you needed to, though. You’re much prettier all by yourself, now you’re happier and getting serviced.’ There! That was nice, and true! Elizabeth couldn’t possibly find any fault with that!

‘Thank you, husband.’ She looks down all demure while Genya’s fingers dart around her face, as if she were posing for a saintly icon rather than discussing all the sex he’s been permitting her.

‘How are you enjoying Voronsky? I mean, clearly you are, you have the look of the well and thoroughly fucked, but what’s he like? I’ve never actually had him myself.’

And he made her smile! Honestly, she really shouldn’t need Genya when she can pull off a smile like that. ‘He’s most exceptional. Thank you so much once more, for your generous gift.’

‘Welcome. Excited to meet Kirigan?’

‘Oh yes, I’ve heard so much about him!’

‘I’ll bet you have.’

Come to think of it, he and George and Grigor should probably have told the rest of the party that the Black General’s coming. Catherine was too busy getting prettied up and no one really gives a fuck about anything Orlo says or does, so does anyone else actually know Kirigan’s on the way?

Well, too late now. There he is, standing in the far-off doorway, watching them all from the shadows that he’s probably supplied himself before he makes his big fancy entrance.

Peter meets Kirigan’s eyes. Or he thinks he does, it’s hard to tell with the distance and the shadows and so on. A servant shouts, ‘General Ivan Grigorovich Kirigan.’ Everyone stops dead with gasps and whatnot, except for one dickhead who decides at that precise moment to leap from one of the dinner tables for the largest chandelier, grabs it, swings, promptly loses their grip and smashes split-legged and groin first into the other dinner table.

Dumb cunt. Who is it? Count Bezukhov. In which case, dumb fucking cunt.

Peter just knows that Kirigan’s looking dead at him, as if the swing and smash is his fucking fault, while everyone else is looking at Bezukhov, who regrettably is still alive. Can’t have that. The looking at Bezukhov, not his being alive, though that could change as well. Anyway, Peter shouts over all the murmuring and Bezukov screeching about how he thinks he’s popped one of his balls, ‘Kirigan!’

How does he always manage to make his kefta swish like he’s in a strong breeze? And he’s wearing riding boots again, for fuck’s sake. Who cares if the kefta is a uniform; boots! Indoors! With spurs! In the evening! Who does he even think he’s going to be riding? Catherine says, ‘Fuck me.’

Wait. Go back a moment.

Catherine? And she actually sounded like she wanted it? Flattering, but untimely. Just to be clear here; he bends over and asks, ‘What, right now? It’s not a good moment; Kirigan will be here in a few seconds. Should have gotten yourself off earlier.’

‘No, I didn’t mean-’

‘Ah, right.’ Catherine closes her eyes in denial, which is quite hilarious. ‘There’s no need to be so embarrassed, you aren’t special, everyone wants to fuck Uncle Vanya. He’s having one of his periods where he can’t get erect, though, so I don’t fancy your chances. Also, I’d have to banish you to a nunnery for any whiff of shagging without my say-so.’

Catherine gawps at him like she’s fellating an invisible cock, and not even having the decency to fondle the invisible balls. Maybe it’s an invisible eunuch? That should be a game, guess the sex act through miming, he should get everyone to play it later tonight! ‘…Uncle Vanya?’

‘Fuck. I’m not supposed to call him that in company. Ignore that.’

Peter pulls away just as Kirigan pulls up in front of them; still wearing that fucking beard and oh, now he's actually growing his hair out, like some sort of crisis older men get and which Peter has determined that he doesn’t want, much thanks. Next thing they know it'll be down to Kirigan’s shoulders, as long as Grandad’s hair was, and he won't even tie it back like Orlo at least does, and he'll be running off to fuck about in the woods like that mad bitch Baghra Yaga.

And he always bows his head the wrong way, but not quite wrong enough. He knew how to bow properly to Grandad, didn’t he? Just for that, Peter says ‘Welcome back Kirigan, still got the beard, I see.’

‘You are indeed perceptive, your majesty.’

‘What are you talking about, I’d have to be fucking blind not to see it. At least you’re keeping it neat. You took your time getting here; it’s been weeks since you sent news!’

‘Forgive my slow progress, but our original party were attacked by a band of drüskelle.’

Peter misses whatever else Kirigan’s saying because his gut has decided it doesn’t like the meal and booze he fed it after all, and also it is suddenly far too fucking hot in here from all the candles and everyone’s looking at him like it’s his fucking half-Fjerdan fault.

What’s he supposed to say, what would Grandad say?! ‘There were fucking drüskelle, in my empire???’

‘It’s more likely that you’d think, majesty.’

His tongue won’t work. It can do such tricks for George’s cunt and pearl and now all his spit’s drained somewhere and if he doesn’t say something right now the whole court’s going to laugh at him, he can’t shank them all. ‘Fucking Fjerdan fjucks, fuck.’

His tongue’s stuck, it just won’t. They’ll all laugh. Tthe half-Fjerdan can’t speak out against his kind, it sticks in his throat, unstick it now, do something. He bangs his fist on the table but the force and pain of it still isn’t enough to break through the strangling, but he could break his glass!

The smash of it breaking makes Catherine scream, is that what frees his throat? ‘Fucks, fucks. Those fucks. I’ll, I’ll see them all flayed, roasted. Velementov, you motherfucker, what are my cunt generals doing when there’s drüskelle fucking around in my empire?!

Velementov tries talking through his burps. The leader of Peter’s military, ladies and gentlemen. ‘You know what, changed my mind, just shut up.’ The fat fuck tries to speak again so Peter grabs and throws a leftover knife at him to make a hole for the gas to escape from, and he manages to dodge it, but still! ‘Shut up!’

There’s George, with her hand pressed over her mouth like she’s shocked but really to hide her panting and giggles. Grigor, with one hand beneath the table still carrying out his imperial command, but also looking like he’s about to crack. Fucking traitors, both of them. Orlo looks ready to go into hysterics. All the ambassadors who deigned to attend his feast, all the officials who’ve been here since Grandad, even Gorky, Grandad’s secret best friend, all staring at him, just about to laugh any second now at the gibbering, half-Fjerdan emperor, if he doesn’t calm down. Elizabeth and Kirigan, they’re the only ones who’d never laugh.

‘Kirigan. Tell me you killed every last one of those motherfuckers.’

‘Naturally.’

‘Good.’ His back feels like something’s tipped a brimming glass down it. Worse, like someone’s pissing down it. Dacha voo, horribly wet and warm. ‘Was it fucking painful? Did your Ivan make it linger, make their blood boil and their eyes pop?’

‘Regrettably, there was no time to draw things out.’

‘Shame.’

It’s fine, this is fine. Peter wanted them killed, and Kirigan killed them, so he might as well have ordered it and Kirigan did it on his order, and if they’re as good as dead on his order, why not say so? He’s defended his realm against the fucking treacherous Fjerdans when his own generals are fucking useless, he’s protected the Sun Summoner!

Into the regrouping of his calm, Catherine’s voice hits and decimates like a Grisha fireball: ‘Is the Sun Summoner all right?’

Bitch, Peter was going to say that next of all, and Catherine stole it! And she spoke out yet again when she was meant to sit quiet, dacha voo galore. ‘What did we fucking say about you talking? Sorry for that, Kirigan; apparently Catherine’s having that time of the month with her woman’s blood again. Already! Who’d would have thought such a tiny thing would have so much blood in her?’

Kirigan doesn’t laugh along with Peter. He never will, the fucking fucker.

‘Anyway, Catherine-’

She looks like he’s punched her again, which is. Not good?

‘-this is General Kirigan. General Kirigan, Catherine.’

Catherine doesn’t even look at him. Rude! ‘I thank you for this most generous introduction, my dear husband.’

‘Welcome, my sweet.’ Turning back to Kirigan who’s staring at his wife staring at him, ‘So, the Sun Summoner is safe?’

‘Alina Starkova is perfectly safe and well, majesty.’

Still looking at Catherine with his ‘resting bastard’ face, and she’s looking back with her ‘thinks she’s an Empress’ squint. Peter waves a hand in front of her face to draw both their attention back to him, please. ‘And you’ve brought her back with you? She’s here?’

‘She has not left my side since the moment of the drüskelle attack.’

‘Well.’ Peter checks over Kirigan’s shoulder, just in case Ivan the Idiot is waiting at the door to bring her forward in another big show, but no Idiot and no one else. ‘Clearly she has. Left your side, I mean, since she’s not here with you. Right in front of me. Wait, let me check.’

Catherine gasps, so does a lot of the room as the cherries fly past Kirigan’s shoulder. Kirigan doesn’t even turn his head to watch them fall and scatter, he only hitches an eyebrow. ‘Majesty?’

Nothing there. Disappointing. ‘Just in case she was lurking invisible. As a surprise.’

Kirigan stares.

‘Or. Something.’

Kirigan continues to stare.

‘Don’t look at me like that. None of your Grisha woooo-’ Peter does the finger wiggles just to raise his arms and get some air to his sodden armpits. ‘-makes any sense anyway. Wouldn’t be surprised if she could vanish.’

The stare does not abate but rather increases. Some fucker in the crowd coughs far too loud and long and yet Peter can’t spot who it was so he can gut them.

‘Anyway. Where is she?’

Kirigan does the old looking down his nose trick, trying to make Peter feel small. ‘For the present, she is resting in the Little Palace.’

‘What’s she doing there? You should have brought her straight here!’

‘She needed rest and peace, majesty, after such a long and arduous journey. And after the attack I was eager for her to be installed in the safest place in Ravka.’

‘Hey! The Grand Palace is perfectly safe!’

He says, right as the chandelier Bezukhov was swinging on drops from the ceiling to the floor and smashes a servant gathering up the scattered cherries underneath it. Who then starts screaming, so he’ll be fine.

‘My back!!!’

Well, he’ll live. Probably. He doesn’t have to be so loud about it.

Kirigan finally twists around to look at the mess, sucking in through his nose like that precious horse of his, and when he turns back again his eyes are closed so he doesn’t have to look at Peter.

Again, not his fault! ‘Bezukhov loosened that.’

‘Clearly. With your majesty’s permission, one of my Healers can be summoned to tend to him?’

‘Yeah, all right, if you want. Meanwhile, I want to see the Sun Summoner, now. I’ve already been waiting for fucking weeks!’

‘Then I shall present her to you tomorrow.’

Kirigan’s face might be young as ever, but his ears and brain are definitely turning to mush. ‘Not tomorrow. I want to see her now!’

‘Majesty, she has already had a hellish journey. You would have me pull Ravka’s saviour from her bed and march her before the great and good, before she is prepared and ready? Just when she believed herself to finally be safe?’

Is this some kind of shitty riddle? Of course he’d have her dragged from her bed, he has people dragged from their beds all the time. Although that’s for when they’re going to be imprisoned or tortured or just generally killed. And that might be what the Sun Summoner thinks will be happening, and then, maybe, she won’t like him. Let alone love him.

To his left Aunt Elizabeth is biting her lip all worried, shaking her head. He shakes his head to try and think. Now it’s Catherine he can’t look away from, watching him like he’s about to smash another glass or throw another knife, or shoot her bear or punch her. Catherine doesn’t love him. They had a bad start, it took ages to fix and even if she helped him with the generals, he isn’t totally sure it’s stuck, and she doesn’t love him.

The Sun Summoner has to love him.

Kirigan has his hands folded in front of him, one hand gripping the other wrist, waiting and ready to wait forever. Classic fucking Uncle Vanya.

‘Tomorrow. You bring her before me first thing. And we’ll all be there to greet her, won’t we?’

Good old Grigor is the first with the huzzahs and the pounding on the tables with his unoccupied hand. There, he knew his court loves him!

‘All right, get back to whatever you were doing. Kirigan, I want a word with you.’

Catherine’s standing up as well. Fuck’s sake. ‘No. Sit! Stay.’ She plonks herself back down, looking fit for a tantrum. ‘It’s very boring stuff anyway, you wouldn’t be interested.’

Grandad wouldn’t discuss stuff like this in front of the rabble, so Peter finds them a side chamber that empties as soon as the various people necking within, who somehow didn’t hear all the commotion next door, shit themselves in shock and flee.

‘So. You’ve met the wife.’

‘May I offer my congratulations?’

‘If you have to, I suppose. I’ve found marriage to be very overrated. You can’t punch, shoot or fuck your way out of it. Or you can, but then everyone starts going on about mortal insults and Western retribution. It’s a strange business, and I don’t like it.’

‘I’m afraid that I can provide little advice in matters of married bliss.’

‘That’s bollocks. Forget the Sun Summoner; half the court thinks the sun rises and falls in your breeches, even if they’re scared shitless of you. Sometimes I think the ones that hate you the most are the most desperate for your cock. And Aunt Elizabeth still sings praises to it, when she’s sloshed.’

Kirigan smirks and then look angry about doing it. ‘Affairs long past and matrimony are very different.’

‘Keep a sharp look out. I gave my wife Voronsky as a present to fuck about with, but she might want to fuck you as well.’ Though admittedly even from here, through the half open door Peter can spot that Catherine does seem to have forgotten her thirst for Uncle Vanya, what with Voronsky starting to whisper in her ear again and her rolling her eyes up in ecstasy. If someone getting her ear canal all uncomfortably moist also gets her moist between her legs, good luck to her. ‘Don’t worry, I’ve told her you can’t get it up at present. Or you’re having one of your weird celibate phases. They’re pretty much the same, aren’t they?’

‘Your tact and diplomacy never cease to astound.’

‘I know, they astound me too! Really, though, with the celibacy and the black and all, if you keep growing that beard out people will start mistaking you for Patsy.’

Kirigan closes his eyes as if the evening’s all too much for him already. ‘What was it you desired, your majesty?’

‘First off, what happened with the drüskelle? Tell me you put the fear of you into them.’

‘They fled before me as soon as I arrived.’ Kirigan keeps that smile, quite satisfied. Lucky bastard.

‘How did they attack?’ Peter can plot it all out with the toy soldiers later, and he’ll naturally handle the defence much better. He’s a genius with formation!

‘An ambush, blocking the path and then descending upon the coach. An infiltration squad, and sharpshooters. Rifles, smoke bombs, throwing knives at close quarters. We lost four oprichniki, and Squaller Tomek Roghozin.

Kirigan cares about these sorts of things, so Peter puffs out in sympathy. He’ll save their lives in his own recreation. It will be epic! ‘They didn’t have any of those fucking giant wolves, though?

‘None, thank the Maker.’

‘Oh, that’s boring.’

Kirigan stares at Peter. It is his scary stare.

‘Though terribly good for your lot, of course; you’d probably have lost even more if they’d brought some. Thank saints for that, huzzah!’

‘Truly.’

Well, this is fucking awkward. The whole battle will definitely play out much better in his own head. ‘Anyway, we need to drive those fuckers back across the border with everything we’ve got, and further. They can’t go on thinking they can get away with fucking around in my empire.’

‘You are quite right that more heed should be paid to our borders.’ Kirigan tucks his hands behind his back which can only mean, oh fuck, he’s going to start on about Zlatan. ‘But there are those within our borders, opening the way for these wolves to tear at Ravka’s heart? I have it on good authority that General Zlatan-‘

Nope. Nope, nope, nope. ‘Oh, fuck me, Kirigan, please nothing about Zlatan, not tonight. This is meant to be a night of celebration! The Sun Summoner has come to us! Oh, and that was the other thing. Tell me about her.’

That actually wins a nose wrinkle and squint of confusion, and how confusing it is that Kirigan should be confused. ‘For what reason?’

‘I want to find out what makes her happy. Getting Catherine to stop being a bitch took fucking ages, and I nearly had to scrap her and start again. Now, I obviously can’t do that with the Sun Summoner, we’ve only got the one, so I need to make sure she’s happy from the start. Then she’ll love me.’

‘You seem very sure of this.’

‘Well. Yeah. I mean, you loved Grandad, didn’t you? And she’s going to be my version of you. So, she needs to love me. She already loves me as her Emperor, obviously, but that doesn’t count. We had rooms prepared for her, we kitted them out really nice. Tartar Nick helped! You know, if he ever gives up the bodyguarding he could make a killing as an interior designer. Nick’s going to help me to make her feel welcome. Aunt Elizabeth suggested it! They can chatter about sheep fat and snuff and all sorts of Shu things. You know, I was so angry, when I heard she was Shu. Or half Shu, or whatever; how was it fucking possible, it’d make me a fucking laughingstock. And if you’d brought her back when all Grandad’s generals were here the other day, I’d have had to have Genya fix her up, or else a whole load of them would have laughed and I would have had to stab them all, it would have been exhausting. But then, then I calmed down and did a bit of thinking and I realised, she can’t help being Shu. Half Shu. None of us can really help where we come from, or who our families were. I mean, I know how it is, only Fjerdan in the court, and all that. All you can do is try to be better than whoever came before you. And at least she isn’t Fjerdan.’

Fuck, he needs a drink after saying all that; the sides of his throat are sticking together. Maybe someone left behind a glass in the mad rush to flee him and Kirigan. He feels all shivery, like he puked up his dinner and his drinks instead of vomiting words.

Kirigan’s being very quiet. Peter checks to see what’s shut him up, and he looks like he’s been punched in the balls, or perhaps even like someone popped his testicle. Which isn’t saying much, but it’s the way the whites show around his eyes. This all feels so familiar, him all shivery from spewing and Kirigan, Uncle Vanya, so shocked and winded he can't speak, but that can't be right because he'd remember if this had ever happened before. He would. He would! Is this what dacha voo is, and everything before it was just repeats?

‘Uncle Vanya? You all right?’

‘Perfectly, majesty,’ he says. One blink and Kirigan’s his stick-up-the-arse self again. ‘You’ve clearly put much thought into this.’

‘Well. You’ve got to think about these things when you’re Emperor, you know.’

Mistake. Big mistake. Huge. Vast. He wouldn’t even have said all of that to George or Grigor, maybe not even to Aunt Elizabeth, so why did he spill his guts to Uncle Vanya of all fucking people? ‘Just, forget everything I said just then. Moment of madness. I’ll see her tomorrow, and we can start fucking up the Fjerdans even more. And then the Shu. It’ll be glorious.’

Before Kirigan can make his not quite right bows and flit off like a gigantic bat, Peter throws him some bait: ‘Don’t go yet, we’ve got a new Kaelish ambassador, Count Stoker; you probably saw him when you came in.’

Eyes sharp from the moment he said Kaelish, Kirigan does that particular head tilt that means go on.

‘Tall, pale fellow with the bushy eyebrows and scraped back hair. Very pointy teeth. Insists on wearing a black cloak everywhere. Apparently, he gives everyone in the Little Palace the fucking creeps. Keeps eyeing every Grisha neck when he thinks no one’s looking, dying for a drink. You know you want to put the fear of you into him.’

Kirigan’s utterly stone faced but, in the end, he caves. ‘I would be pleased to bolster relations with the Wandering Isle.’

‘Great! You can scare the spit out of him, and then I can go have a celebratory meal of George’s pussy. And you can have, I don’t know. Not pussy, obviously. How about bird’s milk cake?’

Check Ao3 for copious end notes!

#fic: all is bliss #shadow and bone #the great #the great hulu #hulu the great #ch: peter iii of russia #general kirigan #the darkling #aleksander morozova #ch: catherine the great #ch: georgina dymova #ch: grigor dymov #ch: count orlo #shadow and bone netflix #the great fic #shadow and bone fic #cw language #cw swearing

[delos-mio]

Out of the Woods - College!AU - PART 1

A/N: Welp, here it is! Part 1 of my silly little AU for my favorite silly little king. I really hope I can do him justice and I greatly appreciate any comments and questions you may have! No major triggers- only implied drug use, drinking, allusion to sexy stuff. So, without further ado..

If you had to gaze into a crystal ball at the beginning of the year, this would not have been the future you expected to see. You didn’t plan on being unhoused, stuck in an idle relationship, and debating dropping out of school all together. But here you were, trying your very best to pick up the pieces, salvage what little motivation to carry on that you had left. It could have been worse. It could have been much worse, at least that’s what you kept telling yourself to keep from crumbling entirely. You were never one to back down though, and these few hurdles sure as hell weren’t going to be the thing to break you. At least one of your problems was solved.

You had just emptied the last of the boxes left from moving and were hanging up the rest of your clothes when there was a soft knock on your door. Genya popped her head in, smiling brightly.

“Hey. I was just making sure you were getting settled ok,” she said.

“Yeah, I’m just about done unpacking I think.” You sat down next to her on the edge of your bed. “Thanks again for letting me live here. You have no idea how much you saved his ass,” you laughed.

“Don’t mention it! I’m happy to have someone else here, honestly.” She seemed to mean it, so you decided not to keep groveling. “Anyways, I just had a friend text me about a party tonight if you wanted to go?”

Your party days were almost entirely behind you. Freshman and Sophomore year were a haze of booze and recreational drugs, leading to you almost flunking out of school on more than one occasion. You’d since cleaned up your act, for the most part, and found you way back on the Dean’s list. But...it was a Friday afterall. And you’d just spent all day moving and contemplating your entire life- did that not earn a beer or two?

“Yeah, ok. Ok. That sounds good,” you said with a nod.

“Awesome! I think we’re meeting there around 10ish, so I’ll come grab you to get ready in a little bit.”

“Get ready? Are we 18 and going to our first frat party?” you joked, making Genya laugh.

“I was thinking about it more so as a roomie bonding activity, but if you wanna be a brat…” she drawled, trying to keep the smile off her face.

“Come back in an hour,” you finally sighed. Genya looked simply delighted as she exited, very clearly planning out looks for you both in her head.

As you went to finish up organizing your closet, you felt the familiar buzz of your phone in your pocket.

Matt: u coming over tonight?

You couldn’t stop your eyes from rolling back in your skull. That probably shouldn’t happen when you get a text from your boyfriend.

Y: can’t, sorry. Going out with Genya M: ok- have fun. Make good choices. Y: wtf does that mean M: just to make good choices? Jesus does everything have to be a fight? Y: i’m not trying to fight omg Y: i’ll just talk to you later M: k

K. He had some fucking nerve.

---

Across campus, Nikolai wasn’t having much better of an evening.

"Do I have to?"

"Yes." Aleks's tone was final; Nikolai knew there was no point in trying to bargain with him at this point.

"Jesus, fine." Nikolai’s fate had been decided and it was now mandatory that he go to the Delta Chi party that night. And here he had been looking forward to a quiet evening alone with his guitar and journal...

"It'll be fun, you sad sack. And I really want you to meet Alina," Aleks chastised.

"I didn’t know you missed my irreplaceable company quite this much."

Aleks gently threw a pencil across the table at his head. "Maybe you'll even catch a new fish of your own, huh?" he said with an obnoxious smirk. Nikolai just chuckled, nodding noncommittally before heading off to his bedroom.

It's not that he didn’t want to go. Well, he didn’t, really. But normally, he would. It’d been about a month since he called it off with the girl he met in Statistics. And it's not like he even missed her all that much- he knew she wouldn’t be around long from the start. But he was still stuck in the “mope in his room, write songs about heartbreak” phase of his healing. Because of such, he hadn't felt like partying much lately, but he’d blown off Aleks the last 3 weekends...he wasn't going to let Nikolai say no again.

Nikolai figured the least he could do is try and look presentable. It was unlike him to spend as much time in sweats as he had; his sense of style had always been impeccable. He was a man who knew he was handsome and knew the best way to broadcast just that. He pulled out tight black jeans and paired them with a powder blue button down with the sleeves rolled up, maybe a couple of the top buttons left undone. He pushed his golden hair back out of his hazel eyes and scrutinized himself in the mirror. To his horror, he looked like he hadn't had a good night of sleep in a week, which was true. Overall, it could have been better, but it could be worse. With a sigh, he grabbed his phone and keys before going out to find Aleks.

They got to the Delta Chi house, and there were already a few guys passed out on the lawn. Nikolai wasn’t surprised, but it was only 10:30. They must have been freshmen. Aleks lead the way to the porch where a petite dark haired girl turned around and beamed at them.

"You're late!" she says with a clearly fake pout. Aleks leaned in to kiss it away and Nikolai looked everywhere but at them.

"Sorry, sorry, I know. Miss Princess here had to be dragged out of his cave," he laughed at his expense. "Alina, this is Nikolai. Nikolai, Alina."

"Nice to finally meet you," Alina smiled. She's cute, he can give Aleks that.

"I’ll have you know I was not in a cave. I was waxing poetic about love lost, heartbreak and what have you,” Nikolai smirked as Alina laughed.

"Genya and her new roommate are already inside," Alina said, grabbing Aleks's hand.

Thank god. Not that he didn't want to spend time with them or get to know Alina, but he didn't really want to watch them suck face and play third wheel all night. Genya had been a friend of theirs since Freshman year- she smoked them down at a random dorm party and she'd been part of the gang ever since. Nikolai pushed through the crowd and made it along with Aleks and Alina to the kitchen. There were fewer people back here and Nikolai felt like he could breathe again.

"Nik," Genya chirped and threw her hands up excitement. "He lives!"

"You saw me Wednesday," Nikolai laughed. “But, I understand. Aleks was desperate for his company too. It must have been unbearable without me.”

"I really didn't think Aleks would get you to come," she said with an easy grin. Genya handed him a cup of what he assumed was beer. "Doesn't matter. You're here now."

They all circled up and chatted for a minute. For once in his life, Nikolai felt like he was noticeably quiet, but he found he didn’t have much to add. They didn’t want to hear about how he managed to cook a meal TWICE last week. Or how he’d written probably a dozen songs, all of them dogshit. Genya was grinning at a story their friend William was telling when she looked over his shoulder and motioned for someone to join them.

"Guys! Guys! This is my new roommate," Genya said. Ah yes, the new roommate. How could Nikolai forget?

New Roommate had wedged themselves into the circle two people away from Nikolai. He looked up from his cup and immediately locked eyes with you. Honestly, the name should have tipped him off. He never, ever thought he’d see you again. There's no way you possibly remember him, right? God, you were still so beautiful.

"Nikolai?" you asked with a tight voice, eyes jumping all around his face. And it's right about then that Nikolai wished he got a little more beauty sleep. Here you were, practically glowing, while he looked like the walking dead.

"Hey," he breathed out. It sounded a lot more desperate than he meant it to, but you always have had that effect on him.

"You guys know each other?" Aleks interjected.

"It's uh, it's been a few years, but yeah," you said with a blush, looking down into your cup. Aleks and Genya both looked at Nikolai with a raised eyebrow. He could feel the sweat pricking along his brow. Fuck, now all eyes were on him...

"Maybe there's a spot open for beer pong. Let's go check it out." Thank you. Subtle, Genya. "You guys can catch up," Genya said walking past you and patting Nikolai on the shoulder. The rest of his friends followed suit and Nikolai was left alone with you, staring not so subtly.

You hadn’t grown an inch. You’d lost the bright red glasses too. But, god, you were still the most gorgeous creature Nikolai had ever laid his eyes on. Really, he couldn't have lost his virginity to a hotter person.

It's your typical boy-meets-girl story. Nikolai first saw you at the rink where he played hockey in high school. Your parents owned the building and seeing as such, you were employed as the kid behind the concession stand. Nikolai remembered the first time he saw you, he thought you looked like a dork. A very hot dork, but a dork all the same. Nikolai began to notice you watching him in particular during practice, which just further flustered his raging teen hormones.

One night, after everyone else had left practice, Nikolai stayed behind and introduced himself to you. He’d never seen such a beautiful mouth and he had to resist the urge to kiss you right then and there. It became habit that he stay after practice and lean against the counter to shamelessly flirt with you. You often had the rink to yourselves by that time, so Nikolai felt like he could really be himself during those hours. He was still figuring out his place in the world and had stuck-up parents who would never approve of him taking you home. But in the lowlights of the concourse, he was allowed to have a crush on you.

Flirting led to making out behind the counter. Making out behind the counter led to hand stuff in your beat up purple van once you locked up for the night. Hand stuff led to him fucking you in the locker room shower. It was both of your first time and it could have been much less hurried. But you were young and inexperienced and horny as fuck and still exploring sexuality. You kept that arrangement up for the next few months until the season ended and Nikolai left that fall for school. He felt like a dick for not saying goodbye to you. It's not in his nature to ghost. It just isn't. He thinks maybe he was still scared of what it all "meant" and how much he really liked you. Maybe this was the universe telling him to make things right with you and make things right for himself.

"Hey, stranger," you said with a lopsided grin. Fuck. Nikolai was so done for if you kept looking at him like that.

"Hey yourself." And Nikolai couldn't help himself when he reached out to you to pull you in a tight embrace. Lucky him, you didn’t push him away and call him a fucking asshole; he thought he would have deserved that. You buried your face into his neck and the hot little puffs of air were doing way more to him than they should. You parted just enough to get a good look at each other.

"You look good," you said with a dark edge to your voice, bottom lip trapped between your teeth. He knew very well what he looked like that night, but you seemed to mean the compliment.

"You look better," he replied earnestly, because it was true. It shouldn't have been this easy to fall right back into things. But it was always different with you. Sometimes, he still thought you were the only one that really understood him without him having to say a word.

"Nikolai Lantsov, you always were a little flirt," you laughed. Your eyes crinkled at the corner and Nikolai thought to himself how beautiful you are when you’re playful. You’re always beautiful. He wanted nothing more than to whisk you away and have you alone. This time, he wouldn’t fuck it up. He wouldn’t let you go. You must have noticed his brain going into overdrive because you say "What's going on up there? What ya thinking?" You pushed a rogue lock of golden hair away from his face.

"Honestly?"

"Honestly."

"I'm thinking about how much I wish we weren't at a frat party right now. I'm thinking about how I want to be selfish and have you all to myself," Nikolai said low so only you could hear. You laughed a little to yourself and looked at him with sparkling eyes.

"I'm not stopping you," you drawled. Fuck. Fuck, ok. This was really happening.

"Let me tell the guys we're leaving and then do you maybe want to get some food?" Nikolai asked hopefully. You just nodded coyly with a small smirk.

"I'll meet you out front." You squeezed his hand once and started pushing your way through the sea of bodies.

Nikolai ran his hands through his hair and took a deep breath before nearly running down to the basement, eager to say goodbye and make his way back to you. Genya, Aleks, Alina, and William were playing each other, a beer pong table stretching between their pairs.

"Where's your old friend?" Genya asked with a shit eating grin.

"We're um. We're actually gonna head out. So, I guess I'll—" but he was immediately cut off by Aleks.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Nik, are you leaving with a girl?" he teased.

"Yes. I am." Nikolai looked at him defiantly.

"How do you guys know each other anyways?" Bill asked before launching a shot.

"Just from growing up. High school or whatever," Nikolai mumbled.

"Cmon..." Genya begged.

"Wouldn’t you love to know," he said, voice laced with snark. "I just came down here to say we're fucking leaving!"

"Well then you better not keep your girl waiting," Genya said with a silent kiss in his direction. Nikolai just flipped her off and took his leave.

When he got outside, you were waiting with your hands in your pockets at the bottom of the porch steps. He smiled wide at you and offered a hand, which you seemed happy to take.

"So, are they gonna give me a bunch of shit next time I see them?" you asked as you walked hand in hand to the little strip of 24 hour restaurants on the outskirts of campus.

"Probably. Nothing you can't handle," Nikolai winked. You laughed then a little giggle. It's such a familiar sound and just like that, Nikolai was transported back to the ice rink and you giggling between kisses behind the snack bar.

You made it to one of his favorite delis in town and he offers to buy you a sandwich, which of course you tried to refuse his offer. Nikolai simply won't hear it. He had 5 years of douche baggery to make up for and insisted. You finally conceded and thanked him with the sweetest smile Nikolai had ever seen. You found a table in the corner, away from the door and prying eyes.

"So, how'd you meet Genya?" Nikolai asked.

"We have a writing class together. And we got to talking and became friends. I needed to find a new place cause my old roommate had to drop out and move home. I couldn't afford the place on my own. And I mean, you know how Genya is," you laughed, "I told her all about it one day in class and she offered me a room at her place without batting an eye."

"That does sound like Genya," Nikolai nodded.

"I've only been there like, two hours. But it's been good so far. Genya's been super cool," you said with a smile.

"I can't believe that we've been at the same school this whole time and it's taken this long to find each other," Nikolai said, mostly to himself, but you heard him and reached across the table to grab one of his hands.

"But we did find each other eventually, yeah?" You ran your thumb over his knuckle.

"Yeah," he said, suddenly bashful. Nikolai was seldom flustered. He had nerves of steel and had confidence to spare on his worst days. But you. You cut through him, all the way down to the core, and that made him nervous.

"So," you started, "Tell me about everything Nikolai Lantsov. Surely you've been up to something the last few years."

"Not much interesting to tell," he shrugged. "Been studying history. Writing music here and there to keep myself occupied."

"Girlfriend?"

"Who wants to know?" he asked with an arched eyebrow.

"Shut up," you mumbled into your soda. He doesn't miss the blush that's spreading over your cheeks.

"No. No girlfriend." he paused, considering how honest to be. But fuck it, he owed you candor. "I actually broke up with a girl a little over a month ago." You looked back up at him then, your eyes searching presumably for whether or not Nikolai was still torn up about it. "She wasn’t...she wasn’t right for mw and I guess I was just done. I feel like I should still be sad about it or whatever, but I'm not. I don't miss her. The wallowing and self reflection has been great writing fodder though," he said with a laugh.

"I'm sorry, Nik. You don't deserve that."

"Don't I?" Nikolai looked at you and suddenly felt torn open. "I...I'll never forgive myself for what I did to you." You bit down on your lip and looked out the window. "I regretted leaving you, god, and like a fucking asshole. I regretted leaving you so much. I know saying I'm sorry isn't even close to enough. But god, I'm so fucking sorry." He knew there were tears threatening to fall from his eyes, but he swallowed them down best he could.

"I'm not going to act like it didn't hurt me. Because it really, really did. But I accept your apology, Nik. You know I could never stay mad at you." You paused for a minute before looking at Nikolai with a tiny fire in your eyes. "You know, I'm pretty sure I was in love with you back then."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I don’t think I ever stopped loving you," He said confidently. Your jaw dropped just for a moment before you're giving him that sexy grin that apparently still drives him absolutely crazy.

"Still?” Nikolai just smirked. "What if you don't know me anymore?" you asked and sucked at the straw in your soda.

"I'd like to." There's a shift in the air between you. Nikolai was sure you could both feel it. It was suddenly too warm in the restaurant and there's too much table separating you. He decided to take his chance. “How do you feel about going back to my place?”

You suddenly seemed very interested in your nail beds, picking anxiously at the skin. “You didn’t ask me if I was seeing anyone.”

Nikolai stalled. He didn’t. You asked about his relationship status and he was so absorbed with letting you know that he was, in fact, single, that he didn’t bother to ask if you were even available. Hadn't you been flirting all night? He'd certainly been flirting. But like you said, maybe he didn't know you anymore. Maybe this was just how you were these days. “Are you...are you seeing someone?”

“Yeah,” you sighed. Maybe it was his own wishful thinking, him hearing the resignation in your voice. Not that he wanted you to be unhappy. No, you deserved the world and he wanted nothing more than for you to have the sun and the moon and the stars. But, maybe there was still a chance for him yet. “His name is Matt. We’ve been together for like, a year or so.”

“Matt.” He let the name burn his tongue. “You love him?”

“Nik…” you warned.

“Just a question.”

“It’s more complicated than that.”

“Just my two cents here,” Nikolai started, leaning back into the booth, “But you deserve to be with someone you can gush about. Someone who when you get asked if you love them, you don’t think twice and say ‘they’re the love of my life!’”

“And you don’t think that’s him?” you said, huffing. “You think that’s you?”

“There’s a chance,” he smirked. “All that aside, I’m very glad fate has brought us together again.”

“Yeah, yeah,” you laughed. “I missed you too.” You looked at your phone quickly. “Shit, I should get going. I have a shift at 9 tomorrow.”

“Let me walk you home,” Nikolai insisted, standing from the booth and helping you into your jacket.

“Always such a gentleman,” you smiled, tapping him gently on the nose before walking ahead of him.

The walk to your and Genya’s place felt too short. Nikolai had made this trek, both intoxicated and sober, and it always seemed much longer. But now he was at your front door, hands shoved in his pockets as he shifted his weight from foot to foot. “If you don’t want to hang out again, I understand, but I need you to tell me now if you think it’s a bad idea,” he rushed out.

“Of course I want to see you again,” you said, rolling your eyes. “So dramatic. We can still be friends, right?”

“We can be best friends,” he smiled.

“I’m glad I ran into you tonight.”

“Likewise.”

You were both clearly just trying to prolong the evening at this point. Nikolai took it upon himself to put you both out of your misery and pulled you into his arms again. You gripped his torso tightly, melting your body against his. He held you close, both strong arms wrapped around your shoulder while he tucked your head under his chin. After a moment, he pulled back enough to leave a gentle kiss on your forehead.

“Get some sleep,” he whispered, his breathing a little hard.

“Ok,” you croaked, nodding. Nikolai stepped out of your space then, squeezing your hand one last time before walking back out to the sidewalk, waiting and watching to make sure you got inside safely.

#nikolai lantsov #nikolai lantsov x reader #prince nikolai #shadow and bone #grishaverse #nikolai lantsov fanfic #shadow and bone fanfic #nikolai lantsov au #shadow and bone au #grishaverse au #ootw #masterlist

[kiltkawa]

Must Have Been The Wind // Sanemi Shinazugawa x Fem!Reader

prompt: reader was turned into a demon and sanemi must confront her in the Final Battle arc

contains: death

IF LIFE HAS TAUGHT SANEMI SHINAZUGAWA ANYTHING, it's that you will lose everything you obtain to the demons. It's a troubling thought that tends to circle the shore of the pool inside his mind, fed by the events of his bloodied past and the even bloodier waves which drown him always.

Truthfully, if his mother's death was the spark - that coupled with his siblings- then you were the final straw. He can't ever forget you, not when you had left a hole so big across his heart that your arm could reach in and crumble him inside out. He won't ever forget you, not because of revenge or anger or frustration, but because it feels like it was his fault that he couldn't stop you. You thought you were doing something good but your mind had been twisted so many times from the spite of those around you to the point where really, good and bad had blurred; really, Sanemi had lost you to the demons just like everyone else.

It's a memory he remembers well, seventeen and he was chasing his dreams across old towns and snow mountains. His mother haunts him still as old scars riddle warm ivory and thin lines tickle flesh across his skin. You were somewhat of an anomaly to him; he was sent on patrol absentmindedly to investigate a series of murders in a small village.

That village was your home, and he remembers you very well, because you were centrifugal to the demon world. You remind him of bittersweet love that he wants to treasure but he can't.

It was your mother that was killing people in that village, a truth you couldn't accept even if it was force fed through tangible crimson and discombobulated limbs in the dining room. She wasn't your mother anyway, Sanemi had taught you that. Even still, neither of you could muster the courage to do the lesser of two evils. Neither of you could kill her.

You remember that, his nichirin blade shaking in his hands, his eyes pressed shut from the horrors of his past, how you had taken that blade from him and done it in one final blow.

That day, when all the gusts of the wind had piled into the room, when the world felt like it stopped as the blade crashed against your mother's neck, when he was there to fill the void afterwards... That day was when it had begun.

You were not a dot anymore, lost and devoid of feeling, you were loosely tethered to Sanemi as he realised he could not leave you behind. Sure, he was abrasive, hot-blooded, and stubborn; he was impulsive and stupid but then again it was just two teenagers struggling to find reason to live.

That was what had enticed you like Eve to the serpent.

Sanemi, in all his glory, in his pale purple eyes like wisteria blossoms, with his spiky white hair as pure as the clouds gods sit on; he was too late, but you do not blame him one bit. You just wonder how fate has guided you to the same path of your mother.

You were seventeen and he was patting your head with a teasing smile, something so rare it seemed out of character. You were seventeen and the final gust of wind brushes your cheeks as you walk away from him, slowly letting him go.

FOUR YEARS LATER AND YOU STILL CAN'T BREATHE WITHOUT FEELING HIM FIRST. Cold eyes and pale skin and unnatural features that stretch out your mind and soul under you stop feeling human.

Where your pupils once were, beautifully etched hues of (eye colour), was now simply kanji; being a member of the Upper Moon came with many things.

It's a cruel fate really that you have to meet him again, and it has to be like this. But when Muichirou informed Sanemi of an Upper Moon demon that was watching idly, not engaged in the combat, your dearest friend knew from that moment what kind of world he had stepped into.

So, Sanemi had bolted from Kokushibo, running down cobbled roads and past aged trees and more, and he ran to where he knew you would be, because you wait for him for eternity like this and you wonder if it sickens him.

He treats demons like a disease; so do you in some sense, revolted by yourself.

You remember his words from your youth. Letting a human live is one thing, but not a Demon. I cannot agree. There is nothing normal about it.

And then you see him, standing there almost as if he hadn't changed. Face and body covered by many scars; you liked to run over them with your fingers, to help him gently get rid of the pain.

"I thought I heard you..." A sad smile is stretched across your lips, "But it must have been the wind."

You're sitting on a tree branch that hangs low and Sanemi doesn't recognise you at all.

Where are you beneath all that? Beneath that facade and thick veil; where is the girl he used to love? Who liked to tease him for liking ohagi, who used to race him across the fields, who helped him create his own breath. A breath that was like a piece of the wind he could drown in forever, fresh and airy and kind and soft and it's like drowning in bits of you at first.

Even still, while he stands there, he's completely struck with oblivion, enveloped in emotion after emotion, piling up inside his mind. He sees you and forgets how to breathe; the air becomes still and dead again.

A gaunt expression rests on his face, "I hoped you had died."

His words take you back, as shown by how your mask melts away to reveal a crying face, "You did? Do you hate me that much?"

Sanemi takes a step closer, and just like all those years ago, there is a slight tremor in his hands. His blade shakes in his grip, "Tell me... why did you do this? What did you do to yourself?!"

You look down at your hands, trying hard to remember them before you had Turned, but it's no use. Whoever you were before... they feel far away inside the murky depths of your soul. "I tried to take it back, you know. I - I did it because I was stupid and naive and I wanted to be powerful like you -"

"No," He says; the edge of his lips twitch as if he's holding back tears. "You're not Genya. Just because I'm a marechi doesn't mean I was more powerful or powerful at all. You had it, [First Name]! You had power and you were so close to - to ... nevermind."

It's the first time he's even uttered your name in four long years. You wonder if it hurts him like how it hurts you. Is his heart stinging with pain?

"Do you miss me?" A quiet whisper; he catches it in the wind.

He can't look at you in the eye, muscles shaking as he rages inside, battling with the contents of his heart and mind. "Don't say that as if you actually loved me."

Your eyes slowly drift to the moonlit sky; Muzan-sama would be fighting the other Demon Slayers at this very moment. "Then," Lowly sighing, "Did you love me?"

"Did you?" He spits in retort, trembling as he stands before you.

You're a demon. You, [First Name]... the girl from all those years ago, who's smile makes him feel warmth, whose eyes glisten hopefully, who knows loss and how to make him feel better. You, a demon? He can feel your power and it kills him over and over again.

"I still love you, Sanemi," Wobbly lips and more; it comes out as more of a pining sob. "I never stopped."

Sanemi finally looks at you; those pale purple eyes... In this early dawn his eyes are the dew, scattering the nascent rays, ever illuminating your soul. It's the kind of purple that comes with lavender in the spring, or when you had trekked up the mountain earlier this night and seen all the colours of the wind and more. The wisteria blossoms look so beautiful tonight; you just want to burn by looking at them.

"Why did you come here? To kill me?" He deflects, biting the inside of his lips. Why can't he kill you? Drive that blade across your neck...

"No," You quietly reply, "I came simply because I had to."

"So it was Muzan, wasn't it? Why did you listen to him?! Why did you go with him?!" Sanemi clenches his knuckles until they turn white. "What did I do wrong?"

What did I do wrong?

You blink, lifting your head, eyes cast on him and how lonesome he feels in that moment, "What - What did you do... wrong? Do you think it's your fault?" You speak slowly and with confusion, wondering if maybe you had burdened Sanemi so much more than you intended.

"Of course it's my fault!" He lifts the nichirin blade which burns red like the heart of a fire, "I left you! I - I wasn't enough..."

"You were more than enough!" You scream out, ignoring how loud your voice is. Sanemi hears the emotion and conviction but doesn't falter. "You meant everything to me! And, I threw it all away! I became a monster!"

His eyes linger on the features of your figure, how similar and different you seem now. As nighttime shrinks, you seem to silhouette yourself back to your original form, repressing the demonic appearance slightly. It was a quirk you had observed from Muzan-sama.

"You're not a monster," He looks down quietly.

Your lips tremble as eyes spill tears, which roll down your pale cheeks, "You certainly used to think so. That demons and humans can never co-exist. D - Demons are monsters, Sanemi. I never should have hurt you."

Sanemi lowers his blade unexpectedly, feeling weak, "Demons are monsters, [First Name]... You know what happened to your mother... what happened to mine... what Genya does..."

"Muzan-sama is expecting me," You say solemnly, feeling the droplets of the First Demon's blood surging in your veins. It's infectious and unholy, desecrating the old you and rebuilding someone inhuman.

"Then go to him," Sanemi says bluntly, resuming his cold, rude, dismissive behavior as usual.

You look at the claws on your hands, feeling the mottled pallor, "I don't want to."

"Why?" He narrows his eyes.

"You already know."

He weakly smiles, "Just kill me now."

"I would never kill you, Sanemi... not for money, for God, for anyone other than you."

"Goddammit! I hate this, you know," He purses his lips, "You - You hurt me... and I hurt you. And this is clearly fucked up, [First Name]."

And then he does something you don't expect him to do; he walks over and holds your face in his hands and suddenly his lips are against yours. And even though, even though you're supposed to be a monster, you feel so close to humanity that you wonder if your actions are reversible.

He pulls out, large eyes looking at you, "I want to see you in another life, not when we're like this."

Sanemi brushes a trickling down away from your cheek with his thumb; he exhales a shaky breath as he speaks, "I can't fight you. I can't fight you at all."

"I don't always have control," You stammer, "Muzan-sama's blood is within me. If I live, there will always be a part of him that continues to live as well. S - So, get away from me. Get away before I hurt you."

It's too late.

Muzan-sama must be on his final legs if he's inciting violence inside your soul. You hear his voice trickle through your ears like a snaking stream of water. And suddenly you don't feel your usual hollow self, you feel like hell is burning on within you.

"Get away! Get away before I kill you!" You scream, trying so hard to hide the pain but it's no use; strings of excruciating anguish crumble you within. 

Blood. Sanemi's blood.

He's a marechi, he'll - he'll save you. 

But Sanemi can't kill you, he just sees all his past mistakes piling onto each other in front of his eyes as he watches you transform. And then, he watches you lose this fight because this is not some make believe fairy tale; the good guys don't always win. 

You lose to Muzan easily because were you ever there in the first place? 

And Sanemi doesn't kill you; he can't kill you. Instead, he watches your body twitch and froth from his blood, because the blood of a marechi can intoxicate demons and disrupt their senses and movement speed. 

But Sanemi doesn't bother to leave you, because if he leaves then he's no better than last time. So he sits by the tree, feeling his muscles tire out from working hard to save his body, closing up the wounds and more. He sits there beneath the wisteria blossoms and you're resting next to him, blood spilling out of your wounds and you want to die, you want to die so badly it hurts you over and over again. You want to be reborn and to find him again.

As the sun rises, Sanemi runs his fingers through your hair softly, silently crying when you crumble away in his arms. When the other Demon Slayers find him, bloodied and bruised despite being so far from battle, they hear him whispering in his sleep, and they hear your laugh and smile and more in the air. It must have been the wind. 

You can rest now, [First Name], because Sanemi always loved you; he never stopped.

#kny angst #kny #kny fanfic #kny sanemi #kimetsu manga #kimetsu sanemi #kimetsu no yaiba sanemi #kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer #demon slayer sanemi #sanemi x reader #sanemi shinazugawa

[lover-of-trash-and-people]

im angrier this time? netflix shadow and bone s1e7 re-watch (substituting alcohol with iced coffee this time) (oh, also, spoilers)

yes jesper shooting ketterdam cards title card omg I straight up forgot that this was the darkling backstory episode we all know I love bin bons as much as the next person but um can we petition to never see the flashback darkling look again I kind of love Luda but I find the entire backstory kind of unnecessary even though I get why they did it okay mr. barnes king of micro-expressions alright fuck you show makers with you breaking my heart showing me how the Grisha have had to go through this countless times that they have their plans memorized oy dumbass otkazat'sya man you speak the darkling's name with some respect alright I've got to accept the tricck they use against the king's men is pretty cool omg you fucking bitch this is exactly why people say acab I've seen people say why couldn't he have broken his bonds and killed them before they killed Luda and I truly believe a) he didn't want to kill unnecessarily and b) Luda's life was at stake so like I get it okay so I don't like the 'just mortal' thing they brought it to sort of drive darklina soulmates agenda home because lmao that is not why okay I get Baghra's points but I don't like her, she like made more sense in the books her position on merzost is true to the books but like her pacifist stance is not the same and it just doesn't make sense okay I like the poc tidemaker in their company the score when the king's men soon to be volcra confront the darkling is impeccable that blast of darkness that we see spread outwards from him was very cool dunno how I feel about him hyperventilating and the fold flowing from him like an inky black liquid god, the score when baghra asks alek 'what did you do' is so eerie and beautiful that transition was on fucking point HOW IS KANEJ IS SO ON POINT I SIMPLY CANNOT the Inej Jesper bond is so beautiful I love it okay I love and hate how they refer to Inej's horrible time at the Menagerie so briefly and yet try to add so much impact to it omg why is Jesper about to make me cry cut to Malina huddled together? okay, show god I hate how the amplifier storyline is so incredibly poorly developed the stag is so beautiful I can't 'maybe there's another way to do this'?! again with the sgegehshshsjsjs I hate it here, fucking explain it at least okay fine the shot of Alina lighting up as she touches the stag and smiling with the soft violin in the back was beautiful now time to say bye to the stag and cry I guess okay I love zoya, she feels very authentic to book 1 zoya with maybe a few tweaks we love to see a man with plot armour uwu okay Alina my fucking queen taking out the arrow would cause him to bleed out faster why would you do that the dumbassery okay alek you overdramatic bitch I LOVED THE LIGHT SHIELD lmao I'm gonna cry at how nasal and supervillain-y the Darkling sounds when he says 'you can't save them all Alina' like okay king maybe that line could have better delivery I'm so sorry I love you so much I'm still a BB stan 'you've lost too much blood' maybe if you wouldn't have taken the arrow out you dumbass 'you said you wouldn't hurt him' nobody said that Alina but I get it you've been through a lot you're obviously not thinking love the cut, she's always cool 'miss starkov' you're in tsarist russia stfu ono I'm not prepared for this Kanej scene I need several minutes they're so perfect 'Jesper fixed your cane' I see you writers thinking they're clever omg Amita shivering from the cold babe I'm so proud of you you're so incredibly cool I love his little jaw movements before he says 'you were right' and her composing herself before turning around due to the shock of hearing these words from Kaz's mouth okay we've all talked about the voice break when he says 'she's real' so I will not dwell on it but it was beautiful the little head bend after he says 'and you' as if catching himself before saying 'and jesper' yes sir that was very convincing AAAAAHHHH IT'S HAPPENING I CAN'T COPE yeah okay fuck you I'm crying Kaz's expression at 'I can't go back to the Menagerie' being literally 'I can't believe

you think I'll ever let that happen' you fucking idiots I hate you and how much you love each other you are disgusting David so much so as breathes I love him Him saying 'Im going to place this around your neck' comedic genius David looks so sad my baby angel it's not your fault get that man's true name out of your mouth Starkov you're not supposed to know it let alone say it in front of other people aleksander this is the first time I've truly disliked you, you fucking asshole, Alina my love please don't believe him (why am I saying it like I haven't read the books and watched this already) LUKE HAVING ACTUAL TEARS IN HIS EYES AS HE PLACES THE ANTLERS AT HER NECK WHY IS HE SO GOOD AAAAAAAAA I didn't notice Ivan slowing her heart on my first watch, is that to reduce the pain ouch I am even more sad now okay Jessie you did it again Emmy time for all of these people okay the violin being sad and terrifying this is so good Luke being sad, Jessie literally crying I fucking can't do this anymore 'this is my power' 'but now I control it' really? that was the best you could do at this scene that is meant to have this great of an impact? him sort of pushing her down made me even more upset I'm so mad right now Freddie's microexpression with the eye when Inej says 'Jes has a point' Jessie looks so perfectly shell-shocked, I love them so so much the prosthetic's so gross, I love it so much DAISY HEAD IS THE PERFECT GENYA I WILL ACCEPT NO COMPLAINTS She brought me to tears and I love it Alina pointing out the Darkling's role in Genya's circumstances this early on, we love to see a well deserved call out it seemed very unlikely to me that Kaz would agree to go home empty handed but I do think it would make sense to cut their losses at a certain point I love the Kribirsk camp sets far too much, they seem to have literally leapt out of the books the darkling coming to see Mal seems very fanservice-ey and not at all adding to the plot in any way but I love it Archie bringing that youthful brashness to Mal that we all know he would have is wonderful mal calling the darkling 'shadow man' lmao I'm gonna cry 'you are a child' yeah Alek babe it's best you don't talk about that Alina is of the same age as he is I wanna go to Ben Barnes' school of nose acting because god damn Archie perfectly bringing to life Mal's realisation of the impact that Alina's immortality will bring to their life together oof sir you don't understand how perfect it is that Ben's eyes are actually that dark 'you'll wish you killed me here' it's okay honey you lost this one the Crows being the Crows I love them can we please have Jesper wearing the Zemeni man's red suit be a stepping stone to him wearing fancy clothes of outrageous colours like lime green and orange in the six of crows timeline because the fans will lose their shit and you know it Inej looking fucking fabulous in her suit I can't Kanej smiling at their crazy little bi son's antics okay can we talk about Milo literally saving the day because writer's room im looking at you you're a bunch of crazy mfers and I love you but I also hate you also I get that Mal's a tracker but would he actually have food in his pocket I know this joke has been made before but like Mal pretending to be asleep after waking the guard up is every teenager pretending to be asleep when their parents come to check on them in the middle of the night omg it's the scene those beautiful gauzy curtains at the door of the tent, I want them so bad 'you are special' he says standing stiffly at the door with a creepy inflection why am I suddenly an anti wtf I want his kefta so bad though 'my parents' I love that the show added her losing her parents to him as well because well it makes him even more villanous in her eyes doesn't it no matter what she might have felt for him uwu first fight as a couple (I'm kidding please stop) I love Jessie as Alina so much darkles don't even go off comparing being Grisha to being half-shu you can't compare experiences of being the other that interchangeably yes baby call him out on his

hypocrisy man I'm so conflicted like I understand his motivations and his story so well but like how is this helping okay but Alina's expression changing ever so slightly at him saying 'you and me' stop breaking my fucking heart assholes why is Jessie breaking my heart more on this watch than Ben did on the first one I knew it before he said it but I still gasped when he did on my first watch the little head tilt after he says it still with tears in his fucking eyes man I love this show this was the most devastating break up I have ever experienced and I will not accept any counter arguments okay actual villain time we love to see it sir please don't erotically remove her cloak you have long lost the right again I knew it before they said it but them saying it had me screaming WHAT A GLORIOUS EPISODE

#grishaverse #shadow and bone #netflix shadow and bone #six of crows #sab #the grisha trilogy #tgt #soc #grishaverse spoilers #shadow and bone spoilers #the grisha trilogy spoilers #netflix shadow and bone spoilers #six of crows spoilers #sab spoilers #soc spoilers #tgt spoilers #s1e7 #alina starkov #jessie mei li #the darkling #general kirigan #aleksander morozova #ben barnes #archie renaux #malyen oretsev #darklina #malina #kaz brekker #freddie carter #jesper fahey

[shxxknytrash]

pair: shinazugawa sanemi x f!reader

genre: angst?? fluff??

warnings: spoilers for those who haven’t read the manga yet.

word count: 3744

a/n: i apologize for any grammatical errors,,, i just want to shower nemi with all the love he deserves;__;

| | “i wish you.. to not die”

Muzan Kibutsuji was finally defeated. Everyone was supposed to be happy, right? Wasn’t it supposed to be a happy ending where everyone can finally live in peace without worrying about their loved ones dying because of Muzan and his demons? Wasn’t this supposed to be that damned happy ending everyone was hoping for?

That wasn’t the case for the Wind Pillar. 

Ever since he awoke from his loss of consciousness, all he could ever think of was his little brother breathing out his last words.

“I want you to be happy... I want you to not die because my 'nemi is the the sweetest person in the world.”

 All he wanted was to have his brother by his side and see him happily married with a wife and kids; something that could’ve made up for the years they’ve suffered from their abusive father and for the things they couldn’t do for their younger sibling. Yet, no matter how much he wanted to deny the truth, he was alone.

He’s all he’s got now.

He lost his friends, and most importantly, his little brother whom he loved and cared for so much, Genya.

Soon, the silence was replaced by fits of sobs from every single person as it dawned on them how much they’ve lost that day - just to guarantee their future families and the future nation a safe place for them to live.

With his eyes fluttering open, he was greeted by the blinding rays of the sun – only to hiss out a ‘fuck´ when he was thrown back to reality before he could even join his dead family. The rush of anger was coursing through his vein and it was evident enough when the kakushi treating him retracted their hands upon seeing the crease on his forehead.

“Why... can’t I just die and be with them?” Sanemi cries out in frustration, no longer caring for the ‘tough’ persona he used to carry. The words were bitter against his tongue. All he could see was red; all he wants was to wreak havoc and yet there he was, painfully taking in the truth. What was the use when the feelings he’s been harboring the moment his brother breathed his last breath was nothing but pain, sadness, and anger?

“Please... just kill me.” Before the kakushi could even react, Sanemi was knocked out cold from the energy he used from crying his heart out. The kakushi attending him couldn’t help but let out a sigh and continue with wrapping up the badly injured Wind Pillar.

- 

Awaken by the rays of light seeping through the crevices of the wooden wall, Sanemi lets out a grunt as he felt a sharp pain on his sides the moment he tried getting up from the bed. Everything was spinning and he couldn’t make out where he was. To his surprise, a pair of soft yet warm arms wrap themselves around his shoulder to guide him back on the bed. 

“Shinazugawa-san, please don’t get up too fast.” 

Sanemi couldn’t comprehend as to why someone was helping him despite everything that has happened and to make things worse - it had to be (y/n). 

The girl who he used to call as a best friend before he left to train as a demon slayer; the one whom he never said goodbye to as seeing her glistening eyes would make it harder for him to leave. The girl who he never wanted to become a demon slayer as all he wished was for her to marry and have kids, just like what he always wanted for Genya and yet here she was, a demon slayer, who helped them fight Muzan.

Her (e/c) orbs greeted him with gentleness and care which only made his eyes glisten. The last thing he ever wanted right now was to be taken care of; which he thinks he does not deserve. He eyes the aforementioned girl’s movement before narrowing them at the medications being tucked in between her fingers.

“You need to drink these three times a day, Shinazugawa-san. Come, I’ll help you up so that you can drink this,” (y/n) stated whilst placing the medications back on to the nightstand before she carefully helps the Wind Pillar up. With her arm still wrapped around his shoulder, (y/n) takes his medications and pours it on the water she has prepared him. “Drink this slowly and I’ve got to warn you, it’s very bitter.”

Sanemi couldn’t understand why (y/n) was there. Why would you be there? Why would you help him? Why should you even waste your time with someone like him? he thought with eyes boring right into hers which he received an eye-roll in response. “C’mon, we don’t have all day here.” (y/n) jokingly warned Sanemi as she brought the cup up to his lips. 

Taking the lid of the cup in between his lips, he slowly takes in the bitter taste that flooded his taste buds. Slowly but surely, the Wind Pillar was able to finish the medication in one go. “There we go.” (y/n) places the cup back into the nightstand before she takes the pillow she prepared moments ago and places it behind his back along with the other one. 

The young woman carefully leans the Wind Pillar on the pillows she stacked and once she finally removes her hold off from the Wind Pillar, she couldn’t help but smile at him. “I’ll be the one in charge of taking care of you, Shinazugawa-san. If ever you need anything, please do ring the bell on your nightstand,” the (h/c) girl instructs with a smile, eyes never leaving his. 

“Why are you doing this?” he softly queries with eyes slowly leaving hers. He lowers his gaze on his hands, only to see two missing fingers on his right hand - his index and middle finger. Ah, the fates do know how to remind me how I failed to protect Genya, he thought with the feeling of his heart tightening. 

Shinazugawa was not the same Shinazugawa (y/n) knew before. The Shinazugawa right before her was not as aggressive and ruthless as compared to the Shinazugawa before. It felt like he lost his purpose in living. She no longer saw the glint of confidence and pride in the boy’s eyes as it was all replaced with nothing but regret and sadness. “Why don’t you leave me here and let me rot and die?” he continued while blankly staring off to space.

Every single word that left his mouth made (y/n)’s heart ached. If only she could take all the pain he was feeling right now, she would have done so the moment she saw him beg the people to just let him perish. 

Heaving out a sigh, she takes the Wind Pillar’s hand into hers - not minding the stare she got from the lad. “What would Genya say if he heard you say that, Shinazugawa-san?” (y/n) sadly asked as she rubs tiny circles on Sanemi’s hand. 

For what it’s worth, (y/n) had promised the younger Shinazugawa to take care of his ‘nemi if ever the worse comes to worst and she couldn’t help but tear up when she’s reminded of the last time she met up with Genya.

(y/n) takes in the sight of a panting Genya in front of her, wondering what caused this young lad to such state. “What’s wrong, Genya?” she queries whilst taking the boy’s hand in hers, leading him to take a seat beside her. 

“(y/n),” he pauses for a moment, hands uncontrollably shaking in (y/n)’s hold, “please promise me this.” he looks up to meet the young lady’s gaze before continuing, “if ever, may the kami-sama forbid, i die... please do... take care of my 'nemi.”

taken aback by her childhood best friend’s request, she couldn’t help but furrow at him with tears forming at the corner of her eyes, “what’s gotten into you? don’t say such thing, Genya.” her grip around his hand tightening when she noticed the tears brimming down her best friend’s cheeks. “you won’t die… i won’t allow it. you need to come back alive, please.”

“please, (y/n), promise me that!” he exclaims with a shaky breath leaving his parted lips, only to see the young lady nod her head as her free hand reaches to wipe the tears falling from his cheeks.

“i promise, Genya. i promise to take care of your 'nemi until i breathe my last breath but please do come back alive.” 

chuckling at her sincere sentiments, Genya takes a hold of her free hand before flashing a cheeky grin.

“i can’t promise you that, however,” his grip tightened, a distant look in his eyes as he knew the worst would come, “i’ll do my best to not get my ass killed.”

With the mention of his brother’s name, somewhere in Sanemi’s mind snapped, causing him to glare at (y/n). “Don’t you fucking mention his name!” he shakily swats her hand away as he could feel anger building up inside of him. He wanted to bury the memory of his dying brother somewhere in his mind. He wanted to solely forget his brother’s tears. He wanted to forget the damned truth that he no longer had his younger brother. 

Ignoring his outburst, (y/n) continues, “Please let me take care of you, Shinazugawa-san.” The words that came out from her mouth had him narrowing his eyes at her. He scoffs at her before slamming his injured hand on the nightstand. “If you don’t leave, I’m going to make you regret the second you stepped foot in this damned room. I do not fucking care if we were friends before but I will not hold back if you mention his name one more time.” 

(y/n) didn’t flinch nor did she mind his attacks as she stayed grounded on her seat. It was no use riling up the Wind Pillar for he was injured and the last thing she wanted was Shinobu- 

Right, Shinobu’s not here to scold me anymore... she thought as she bit her bottom lip, trying to fight the urge to burst out crying from being reminded of the people who have died. “Whether you like it or not, Shinazugawa-san. I’m going to take care of you for that was what I promised... Genya.” (y/n)'s voice falters at the end, however, Sanemi was quick enough to catch the last part. 

Quickly standing up from her seat, the young woman bows at the Wind Pillar before taking her leave, however, before she could go pass the wooden door, she looks back at Sanemi with a smile. "I'll be back with lunch later." 

Her retreating figure was utterly painful – if Sanemi could describe it as is. It reminded him of the past. The days where Genya would playful sling an arm around the (h/c) haired lady and him, the brightest smile plastered on his brother’s face. Oh, how Sanemi wished he could see that smile one last time. Letting a groan slip past his lips, he leans his head back on the headboard, closing his eyes as hot tears started to fall.

Genya, ‘nemi’s sorry for not being able to do anything.

Later that night as the estate was blanketed with nothing but the serene silence, (y/n) couldn’t help but feel a knot in her stomach; something was off. In a hurry, she didn’t think twice but to head towards the room of the Wind Pillar. All the ugliest possibilities played through her head which sent her almost dashing through the peaceful hallways.

The sound of his heart pounding loudly against his rib cage was enough to drive him to insanity. In his hands was a tanto that he’d retrieved from his belongings. The coldness of the blade that was pressed against the pads of fingers sent shivers down his spine. Was he really going to do this- I’m definitely doing this, especially for how I’ve failed my duties as a Pillar and as a brother.

With the Pillar’s door on her sight, she didn’t think twice as she kicked the door open – only to see Sanemi with the tanto in his hands as he shakily breaths out. “I’m sorry, Genya.” He whispered and was about to bring the cold blade in his abdomen, only to be stopped by a pair of soft yet calloused hands.

The grip around his hands was trembling. Wait, before he could even process what was happening, his eyes immediately met a pair of (e/c) orbs staring at him; pleading him with tears slipping past. “’N-nemi, please don’t do this.” (y/n) begged with hands still trying to stop him from bringing the blade to his belly.

N-nemi… your voice echoed in his mind and soon, as if his mind were playing tricks on him, he could see the image of Genya right beside you as he tried to stop him from killing himself.

Nemi, please don’t do this. Live and be happy. Please.

“’Nemi, I beg of you, please.” (y/n) cried out, the feeling of dread gushing over her as she realized how she was slowly losing her strength. Sanemi had an iron-grip on the dagger, however, as if the kami-sama heard her prayers, the muscles underneath her palms relaxed in which she took the opportunity to take the tanto in her hands before throwing it far from the Wind Pillar.

Sanemi was a wreck. His shoulders were trembling as he sobbed with his gaze cast on the white sheet underneath him.

“’Nemi, please don’t let their deaths be in vain. Live and be happy.”

Live and be happy.

That’s what Genya… his eyes flickered to the (h/c) haired girl before he was brought close to her chest, small hands rubbing circles at his back as if to comfort him. “It’s okay. It was not your fault. Please don’t blame yourself, Nemi.” She whispered; her voice like honey was enough to lull him to sleep as exhaustion finally set in.

It was never your fault Nemi.

Sanemi’s focus was starting to flutter close, however, he couldn’t shake the feeling of having Genya standing right in front of him with the brightest smile, hand reaching out to place a warm touch on his face.

I’ll always be beside you, I won’t leave you ‘Nemi even if I’m not there physically.

Those amethyst orbs he adored so much was staring right back at him and soon, his eyelids became heavier and heavier; the image of his younger brother soon leaving his sight.

-

Days turned to weeks and Sanemi has been pushing every single person who tried to comfort him ever since the incident. He isolated himself in his room, never leaving unless necessary. Often when the door was open, they would only see Sanemi blankly staring at the window with a distant look in his face. However, that wasn’t the case for (y/n). No matter how much he tried to push her away, (y/n) just kept coming back; that smile never leaving her lips despite the harsh words he’s been throwing at her.

The sun was still shining brightly, and the sky was utterly beautiful, spread out like a vast ocean of feathers; but it was just a plain sight for the Wind Pillar. He was seated on the engawa with three different stones, a bitter growl can be heard under his breath before he proceeds to polish his sword. It was almost lunchtime, however, he couldn’t care less. All his concentration was directed at the sword wrapped around his hands – running the nichirin blade down on the stone he has prepped.

With his concentration at its peak, the aforementioned man wasn’t able to notice the sliding of the shoji only to be followed by footsteps. Only then he realized someone was beside him when the nutty scent of his favorite dessert wafted through his nostrils, causing him to snap his head towards the heavenly scent.

“What are you-“

“I made you ohagi.” The (e/c) orbs sparkled as it met his, never wavering from the glares he’s been giving her. Settling down beside the Wind Pillar, (y/n) sets the tray down on the floor before taking the plate of ohagi in her hands, raising a piece of ohagi up to his mouth.

“Open up,”

“No-“

Clicking her tongue, she shakes her head before saying, “Your hands are dirty, Shinazugawa-san, and I can’t let you touch this ohagi.” Still adamant to his decisions, (y/n) heaves out a sigh before an idea came to mind.

“Fine, I’ll eat this all to myself then-“

Chomp! Her eyes widened when Sanemi took a bite from the ohagi that was still tucked in between her fingers; the slight brush of his chapped lips sent shivers down her spine, eyes never leaving hers.

Sanemi won’t admit but he surely loves ohagi and if it were (y/n)’s homemade ohagi, there was no way he’d let the opportunity slip past him. He loved your ohagi way before the two of you were kids; more so him having feel his heart tighten as the harbored feelings he once had for you resurfaced from the constant interaction.

A gently tug on the corner of your lips was not hard to miss; enough for Sanemi’s cheeks to be dusted in pink whilst chewing on the ohagi in his mouth. The flavors melting on his tastebuds allowed a satisfied moan slip past his lips; a rush of heat rising up from his neck to his cheeks, until it reached the tips of his ears.

“Here, open up.”

And with that, the (y/n) brought up the ohagi to his lips which in turn had the Wind Pillar indulging himself in the sweet bliss of flavors exploding in his mouth. Sanemi continued to polish his sword with your feeding him ohagi from time to time, along with letting him drink some tea to keep his mouth from drying up.

Everything was at peace. The birds peacefully chirped, the cool breeze running themselves through both of their silky locks. It was as if every single problem was forgotten. Sanemi couldn’t help but let his mind wander to the thought of the younger lady being by his side, both enjoying serenity. Not only that but as well as the soft laughter of kids running around; white and (h/c) locks running whilst being told to be careful from time to time.

 And we would then enjoy ohagi together, watching the kids- Sanemi shook his head, what were you thinking?! It seemed like the stars finally aligned; everything clicking in place to a piece of information he deemed to not want.

Flickering his gaze to (y/n), his heart thumped and thumped – increasing its rhythm when he saw how beautiful she looked beside him. Her usually kept (h/c) locks were down, allowing the wind to play with it; her pink, lush lips were tugged into a smile, and her (e/c) orbs meeting his with a glint of happiness.

“Do you want more?” she queried, eyebrows raised with her hands on the floor as if she was ready to get up and make some more for the Wind Pillar in front of him. Shaking his head from side to side, he casts his gaze back on the sword in between his hands before polishing them once more.

The silence between the two felt comfortable. It was like it was the third presence to keep the two of them at bay. Slowly, Sanemi brings his gaze back at the (h/c) haired before uttering a ‘thank you’; only to have him repeat it when she asked him again.

“I said thank you.” His voice was soft, a whisper that was loud enough for her to hear. It was the first time Sanemi thanked her and she couldn’t help but feel warm at the small gesture. Opening her mouth to speak, she was cut-off when Sanemi continued to speak, his tongue rolling the words out from his mouth.

“Thank you for staying by my side,” he paused, placing the sword down before shifting to face (y/n). Grabbing a clean cloth, he wipes his hands before taking a hold of her hand.

“Thank you for not giving up on me,”

(y/n) always knew how sincere Sanemi’s heart was. From the very beginning, she knew that Sanemi was worth every harsh banter thrown at her because she knew he didn’t mean to say such hurtful words – for it was a way for him to prevent himself from getting hurt. His big, yet calloused hands felt perfect in her hands; it felt so perfect as if it were two puzzles pieces finally being connected.

She has loved and still does love the man in front of him and him being thankful was enough to make her heart feel full and happy. “No matter how much I pushed you away, you kept coming back…” his voice was soft but it wasn’t too soft for her not to hear. It was loud enough for the two to hear; as if he was scared to raise his voice, scared to break what was happening between them.

“I’m sorry—”

“There’s no need to apologize, Shinazugawa-“

“Just call me how you used to call me, (y/n).”

“’Nemi,” she quickly corrects herself before continuing, “I do not mind taking care of you. It was my choice to care for you, even way before we were kids.”Her grip around his hands tightened, causing Sanemi to raise a brow, “I knew how much you hated the fact that Genya and I became Demon Slayers. However, Nemi, hear me out.”

Sanemi was taken aback at how forward she was but he kept his composure and waited for her to continue.“I wanted to also protect you. Genya also wanted to protect you. We didn’t want you to suffer alone and live a happy life while seeing you suffering, carrying the burden that was passed upon you. Genya genuinely wanted to see you happy... get married and have kids because our Nemi is the sweetest person in the world.”

The sight of (y/n)’s tears was the sight he never wanted to see ever again. It pained him. The thought of her thinking about his happiness pained him.

“You also deserve to be happy, (y/n),” he says without missing a beat. His fingers found their way to her tears, wiping them away. “W-what do you mean?” she stutters. Her heart was beating way too fast, with no total concentration breathing to stop her heart from hammering against her rib cage. 

“Be happy with me,” Sanemi was red as a tomato. He doesn’t know whether it was the ohagi taking or was it his heart taking control of his mouth.

What are you thinking?! he angrily scolds himself, however, he knew there was no turning back from what he’s done. 

“Be happy with you?” (y/n) repeats with her eyes trying to search for his. His taafeite-like orbs quivered- the apparent glint of nervousness was enough to bring the message across.

Heaving out a shaky breath, Sanemi took the courage to meet her gaze. “I’ve always loved you ever since we were kids, (y/n),” unconsciously rubbing his thumb at the back of her hands, he continues, “you were the light that shone brightly during the darkest time, and even until now, you continue to shine the same light... pulling me out from the darkness.”

“Just now, I’ve realized how much it would be nice to have you by my side... with our children running around while enjoying this wonderful afternoon.”

The Wind Pillar surely was a blushing mess; it was a rare sight to see - a new sight for a changed Wind Pillar. If he continued, he would have passed out but he stayed strong.

“(y/n), I love you... and I do want to spend the rest of my life with you. You don’t need to give me an answer but I am sure to pursue you and give you the happiness you deserve-”

A pair of soft lips stopped him. Surprised by her actions, Sanemi didn’t know how to respond - only to snap out of it when the young lady pulled away with cheeks dusted with pink. 

“I love you too, Nemi. I always have loved you since we were kids, too, and spending my life with you would be the best thing,” the (e/c) orbs spoke the truth. Sanemi knew (y/n) couldn’t lie and just hearing those three words was enough to bring him to tears.

“Will you marry me and make me the happiest man ever, (y/n)?” he asks, his hands bringing her hands up to his lips- eyes filled with love and sincerity.

“Of course, Nemi.” Sanemi didn’t waste time as he pulled the young lady into a kiss. It was as beautiful as the first one. Her soft, plump lips felt so right with his; two perfect pieces finally finding each other. 

Slowly pulling away from each other, Sanemi lovingly gazes at the (h/c) haired lass. “Thank you,” he whispers with a smile, only to have it tug wider when she returned the same smile. Sanemi pulls her into a tight hug, breathing her scent; oh how much he loved her scent. 

His taafeite-like orbs soon found their way to the sky and with a smile, he closes his eyes and didn’t think twice but to let his heart speak once more.

Thank you, Genya. 

#demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #kimetsu sanemi #shinazugawa sanemi #shinazugawa sanemi x reader #kimetsu no yaiba oneshot #kimetsu no yaiba fanfic #angst #fluff #shinazugawa genya #kny sanemi #kny #shxxknytrash #demon slayer x reader #demon slayer oneshot #demon slayer fanfic

[sanktnikolais]

Sunday Morning - Softober (11/31)

A/N: AAAAA it’s a miracle I could still keep up with zoyalai HAHAFKLJSDH 

Based on the prompt ‘Morning’ from the Softober list. 

Word count: 1606

AO3

Nikolai had promised himself he wouldn't get another one, not until he graduated from his engineering degree, at least, which was roughly only more than a year remaining. 

          But looking at them now, he realized that he wouldn't have it any other way. 

          "Sturmhond, no." He gently lifted the dog away from the bowl. The Golden Retriever gave a soft whine as Nikolai placed Sturmhond to the bigger one to the right. "This is one yours, remember? Not the other one, that's your brother's." 

          Hotdog let out a low rumble, nudging Nikolai’s leg. The Dachshund had merely sat back and watched its brother devour the food in the smaller bowl, even though Sturmhond had the bigger one. 

          He ruffled the spot under the Dachshund's chin. "I know, buddy. Hard being the older one, eh?" 

          Nikolai added a bit more to Hotdog's food, and the dog was all too happy to dive in. He watched them fondly, a smile on his lips. 

          They had definitely helped him divert his attention to other things rather than overworking himself with tons of lectures and papers whenever sleep eluded him. 

          Perhaps getting them wasn't a bad choice after all. 

          The shrill tone of his phone startled him out of his thoughts that he dropped the dog food container he was holding. Its contents scattered on the ground, and apparently Sturmhond and Hotdog noticed it. 

          Then both of them turned their attention to the fallen dog food despite still having some on their bowls. 

          "Guys, no—" 

          The ringtone continued to blare, and his dogs refused to listen to him. Realizing that he couldn’t stop the two from feasting over the dog food, Nikolai let out a frustrated breath as he grabbed his phone on the counter. He didn't bother checking the caller when he answered. 

          "Yes?" 

          "Nikolai, it's Zoya," the voice said, and he had to put the phone away from his ear to make sure it was really her. Indeed, the caller ID showed "Mean Muffin". 

          Nikolai raised a brow, pressing the phone to his ear again. It was only a little past eight in the morning, and he was quite sure Zoya wouldn't have called this early. On a Sunday. 

          "Nazyalensky? Is something wrong?" he asked, eyeing his two dogs that were still eating the scattered food on the floor. Their tails were wagging all too enthusiastically, and he could only shake his head in disbelief as he turned his attention back to the call. “What’s up?”

          Zoya didn’t reply right away, making him a bit worried. But he could hear the muffled thuds and shuffle in the background. What was she doing? After a few more moments, her voice came. “Is that other room in your place still vacant?”

          “Yeah, why?” Nikolai frowned. He glanced over his shoulder to look at the door next to his room that had been vacant ever since college started. “You know it always has been.” 

          “Fair.” There was another thud, but it was louder this time, and followed by a string of curses from the raven-haired storm he was talking to. Damn it all to hell, he heard her say, and Nikolai had to fight off a chuckle. Zoya then sighed exasperatedly. “Alright, favor—saints, I can't believe I'm the one asking now. But all because I really am out of options.” 

          Nikolai’s eyebrows furrowed, a confused expression blooming on his face. Zoya Nazyalensky rarely asked for favors, unless it’s a life and death situation. “Okay, go on.”

          A beat. “The damned complex is getting shut down due to safety concerns which” —there was a sound of a door slamming shut— “is fucking absurd because in the years I’ve been here there hasn’t been a single problem—” She stopped, and then released an exasperated breath. “Can I crash over for a while?”

          Oh. Oh. 

          What?

          “Yeah, sure,” Nikolai replied even before he could think of it, and he blinked repeatedly. Then he frowned. The instinct of his answer definitely was questionable. “You’re not allergic to dog fur, right?”

          A low rumble came from somewhere beside him, and he looked down to see Sturmhond looking at him with a flat expression as if it understood what just said. Behind the Retriever, Hotdog seemed to have the same expression as his brother. 

          Nikolai raised an eyebrow at them, and then Zoya’s voice came a moment later. 

          “Nikolai, I go there most of the time,” she said, and then with a bit more smug, she added, “And besides, we both know your dogs adore me more than you.”

          “Getting more confident now, aren’t we?” He laughed lightly, walking over to the cupboard to put back the dog food container inside. He figured that the spilled food was beyond saving as the two dogs had already devoured it. “When are you coming over?”

          “Now.”

          The container almost slipped from his hand again, but he was able to prevent it from tipping over. His eyes widened. “I’m sorry, what?” 

          Nikolai turned back to look at the state of his apartment, and his lecture notes in the living room were an utter mess. To emphasize his situation, it had been nearly a week since he last cleaned up. He winced.

          Shit. 

          “An earlier warning next time, Nazyalensky?”

 ***

At least half an hour later, the firm knocks finally came. Sturmhond and Hotdog immediately perked up, looking at Nikolai expectantly as he stood up and walked to the door. He peeked through the peephole. There indeed was Zoya Nazyalensky, Ravka University’s Storm, outside with a suitcase, a duffel bag, and a box in an arm.

          And her face had her usual scowl that could make everyone cower. 

          Nikolai huffed a laugh as he opened the door. “You know, you could’ve maximized the favor and asked—”

          There was a bark, and then a flash of black fur rushed past him, leaping towards Zoya. It must have startled her because she quickly let go of the box she was holding to catch the enthusiastic dog coming for her. Nikolai acted right away and grabbed the box before it could fall.

          He turned to frown at her, but wasn’t able to when he saw the look on her face. Gone was her scowl and replaced by a grin, her eyes alight as she looked down at the dog in her arms. Sturmhond had appeared beside her, reaching up its paws to her side as if it wanted to be carried too. The sight instantly brought a smile to his face. 

          Zoya gave the Retriever a pat on the head, chuckling softly when Hotdog tried to pepper her face with kisses. Then she turned to Nikolai with a smug expression. “What’d I tell you? Your dogs adore me.”

          “I can see it clearly now. Such traitors.” He ushered them inside as he stepped out to wheel her suitcase in, and then closed the door behind him after. “Just saying, you could’ve asked me to go get you.”

          “And risk piling up the favors I have? I don’t think so, Lantsov.” She put down Hotdog to the ground, and the dog bolted to the nearest sofa to curl up on. Sturmhond followed in suit, lying beside his brother. 

          Nikolai laughed lightly. "Afraid I might use it against you? Ah, but I don't take advantage of anything, Nazyalensky. You wound me," he said, putting the box down on his messy center table in the living room. "How long do you intend to stay?" 

          Zoya turned to him, then, expression apologetic, which Nikolai rarely saw her have. "It's just until I find another place nearby. Probably a week or two, at most. All the other vacant ones are far from the university or cost a shit ton." She sighed tiredly. "I'll pay half of the expenses and rent—" 

          "Don't worry about them, they've already been paid in advance. Just worry about the food expenses, I worry about it all the time as well." 

          Her face had conflicting emotions blooming at once, the furrow in her eyebrows becoming more prominent like she didn't know what to say next. 

          Nikolai gave her a reassuring smile. "Probably coffee expenses too. I'm sure my stash that would last me a month would now disappear in two weeks." 

          To his relief, Zoya scoffed at his statement, a small smile on her lips. "Oh, really now? Who once drank four cups within a few hours and complained about being too jittery and not able to sleep?" 

          "Bringing up the past now, aren't we? Harsh." 

          "Honest."

          "Then can you admit that I'm actually the best person you've ever known?" 

          "Admitting to that would be like saying that Genya never existed."

          Nikolai feigned a hurtful look. "That's the second time you've wounded me within a minute." 

          Zoya gave him a smirk. "I do my best, Lantsov." She paused, her torn expression returning. Then she said, "Are you sure?"

          He considered her question for a moment, but he already knew to himself that he'd agree to it in a heartbeat. Zoya was one of the few people that he was thankful for always keeping him up his feet. 

          There probably wasn't anything he wouldn't do for her. 

          "I got you," Nikolai said, and he  meant it. Then playfully, he added, "As long as you don't steal my dogs from me, I think we'll be okay." 

          Zoya raised an eyebrow as if offended, but the look in her eyes was gentle, and it was enough for him to know that she was grateful. She laughed lightly. "I don't think I can promise that, Lantsov."

          He chuckled at that, wondering how his morning took a very interesting turn.

#softober20 #zoyalai #king of scars #zoya nazyalensky #nikolai lantsov #KLJHASDFKLJHA ANOTHER COLLEGE AU #I'M SORRY FOR THE BOMBARDMENT #BUT ZOYALAI OCCUPIES MY MIND 24/7 #nikolai has two dogs because one isn't enough #GOOD BOYS #sturmhond and hotdog own my heart ok #my writing #have this mess

[knylinphd]

Their S/O giving birth | Headcanons

female reader

-> Zenitsu Agatsuma, Sanemi Shinazugawa, Inosuke Hashibira, Giyuu Tomioka.

-> Obviously, Zenitsu and Inosuke are older.

(D/N) is daughter’s name and (S/N) is son’s name

Zenitsu Agatsuma

Actually, Zenitsu was there when your water broke. Unsurprisingly, he panicked instantly, despise the fact that you had prepared everything and there was an hospital nearby.

‘’Itsu, it’s okay, it’s okay, it’s right there.’’ You said, walking and pointing to a bag, while Zinetsu cried. He took the bag and helped you walk to the hospital -as you were staying in a village that heals hunters for free.

At first, he tried to remain as calm as possible, taking your hand and caressing it as much as he could, despise you tightening your grip on his own.

Did he faint ? Of course he did once an old lady showed him the top of his baby’s head showing up. You only giggled nervously, even if deep inside, you wanted to kill him.

However, when he woke up, he was serious, controlling his breathing. He rest his palm against your forehead, comforting you. You were grateful that this side of Zenitsu showed up.

But everyone knows that this side has to come to an end, and that happened when the baby was finally delivered. You were glad the strong Zenitsu stayed till the end, though.

He woke up a few hours later -you had fallen asleep in-between but you were now awoken- and he saw the baby in your arms. His eyes widened, his mouth agape.

He walked slowly, as if he wasn’t allowed to, feeling some tears at the corners of his eyes. ‘’Is it... is it... my baby ?’’ he asked, seeing the little body in your arms.

You looked very tired, but you gave him a smile. ‘’It’s a girl, Itsu. How do you want to name her ?’’ you asked, showing him the little girl’s face. ‘’The name we decided, then.’’ he replied, staring at her.

When he finally felt brave enough to carry the baby and hold her against his chest, (D/N) opened her eyes. ‘’You’re the prettiest little girl I’ve ever seen. So many boys are going to ask you to marry them.’’ he whispered, crying.

Sanemi Shinazugawa

Your water broke at home, during the night. Luckily for you, Sanemi was there, so he immediately sent his crow go for the closest nurses nearby.

He brought you towels and anything you needed, and since you were close to the estate, Mitsuri showed up to help you both as well. Sanemi wasn’t that pleased, but she was your best friend, so he brushed it off.

Actually, even if he was used of blood and disgusting things, he felt dizzy when he saw the top of the baby’s head, so he decided not to watch and stay by your side, caressing your hand and stuff.

Surprisingly, once he saw you tearing up and whining in pain, Sanemi felt terribly guilty and sorry. He kept muttering about how sorry he was, panicking, saying that you had to go through this because of him.

‘’Only because I was scared to be all alone.’’ You heard him mutter. Being slightly pissed that he had decided to be out of character right now, you grabbed his arm, surely hurting him in the process as you never grabbed it so tightly in your whole life.

‘’Sanemi, if I got pregnant it’s because I also wanted that baby. Now stop blaming yourself and telling it’s your fault that I’m like this because I’m going to fucking kill you !’’ You shouted.

His eyes widened, but he could understand you. You were going through pain and he was panicking, which was something he wasn’t usually doing ; he had to man up. So he kissed your hand, letting you tighten your grip on his own as much as you wanted.

When he saw that the baby was finally fully delivered, Sanemi caressed your forehead, telling you how proud of you he was, and how strong you had been. You just sobbed, overwhelmed with emotions.

As the baby was now cleaned and you had held them in your arms for long minutes, you decided that Sanemi could hold them. He had sat next to you, watching the both of you silently.

‘’It’s a boy, right ?’’ He asked, and you nodded. He stared at him for a whole minute before hugging him tightly, crying and choking on his tears. The baby was a perfect mix of the both of you.

‘’I’m so happy I have a family, now. I promise you won’t suffer as much as I did, (S/N). Daddy’s always going to be there.’’ He had a family now, just as Genya had wished him to.

Inosuke Hashibira

He didn’t want to go to his mission and he was right, since he had to rush when he heard his crow saying you were giving birth. That’s why he arrived with blood all over his body and his katanas.

But you didn’t care ; he was finally here. Actually, he knew a bit about giving birth because of his mama boar, so he tried to cheer you up as much as he could.

After some time -when you were crying- he took off his mask to kiss your temple and hand. He wasn’t scared when he saw the baby’s head showing up neither when he saw the blood.

That was a good point, since you were totally petrified and refused to look at it. You only stared at the ceiling or him, while he was trying to describe to you what was going on in the less bloody way as possible.

However, when he noticed the baby had his hair, he started to lose it. Indeed, he was used to boars. But a baby made with his own skin and blood, looking like him ? That was going to be more difficult than he thought.

‘’Sir ! Sir ? Are you still here ?’’ He had his mouth open, but he decided to man up. ‘’Of course ! I’m the great Inosuke ! I’m the best dad ever !’’ He said, pointing to himself.

However, when the baby was born, the nurses refused to give them to Inosuke. ‘’Sir, you have to take off the blood. What if it some demon’s ? Your baby can’t touch it.’’ They said, and it actually convinced him.

‘’It is full of blood too...’’ he muttered, going to clean himself as fast as he could. When he came back, you were all alone with the little baby in your arms -that actually had lots of hair already !

‘’UH ?!’’ Inosuke shouted, seeing you all tired and stuff. He walked to you, and you smiled at him. You handed him the baby, and even if he was unsure at first, he picked them up.

‘’Oh, it’s a boy !’’ He said, when he read ‘boy’ on a paper. Yes, he had learnt how to read a bit. You nodded. ‘’And I thought you were going to have a daddy’s girl.’’ You said. ‘’Well, we can have another one so we can have a girl too !’’ You rolled your eyes, not ready to live a baby delivery yet again.

Bonus : I said Inosuke learnt how to read ‘boy’ but I’m 100% sure that he learnt how to write and spell the name you chose if you had a son and the name you chose if you had a girl. I believe he knows how to write his name, yours, and your kid’s. Surely even his friends’ names.

Giyuu Tomioka

Giyuu was on a mission when his crow yelled at him you were giving birth. He immediately rushed to where you were, not caring that much if he had done his mission or not.

When he finally arrived, the baby was almost delivered, you were crying, and despite the fact that he wasn’t in an adequate outfit to help you and had a katana with him, the nurses let him come in.

You had yelled like that crazy when they tried to push him outside, and you had extended your arms towards him. ‘’It’s okay, it’s okay, I’m here now.’’ He said, holding you close as much as he could in your position.

‘’I feel like dying, Giyuu !’’ You shouted, the delivery being much more difficult than normal. He tightened his grip on you, trying to calm you down, kissing your forehead. ‘’Relax, (Y/N). It’s going to be okay.’’

In the inside, he was panicking as well. But he couldn’t show it to you. He was right to hide it though, as you did manage to calm down and focus, being able to push again.

Once the baby was born, the nurses immediately rushed to clean them, as you laid on your bed, breathing heavily. Giyuu kept telling you how proud of you he was. Still, he had to give his katana to the receptionist.

When he came back, you were finally fully relaxed, holding your newborn in your arms, even smiling at them, kissing their head. Giyuu didn’t say a word when he saw the baby. He was usually quiet, but you knew that he was just emotional.

‘’Do you know what their name is ?’’ You asked, making him shake his head. ‘’It’s Sabito.’’ You said, making his eyes widened. You had agreed that if you ever had a boy, you’d name him Sabito, for obvious reasons.

He was still feeling guilty about his friend’s passing, and having a son named like him could make him reborn, in a way. And Giyuu could finally move on. He held his son close to his chest, hugging him now that you had given him to him.

‘’Hi, little boy, it’s me, your dad !’’ He started, smiling. ‘’You got your name from the greatest person I’ve ever known -after your mom. You’ll be the best Tomioka ever.’’ He whispered to him. You giggled at the mention of you. And unexpectedly, Giyuu started to cry.

I may do the same headcanons with other characters if you request them ! I thought of Tanjiro and Obanai, but I need to have 1 or 2 characters, so feel free to ask me !

#kny #kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer #headcanons #giyuu tomioka #tomioka giyuu #giyuu x reader #tomioka x reader #giyuu tomioka x reader #tomioka giyuu x reader #sanemi shinazugawa #shinazugawa sanemi #sanemi x reader #sanemi shinazugawa x reader #shinazugawa sanemi x reader #zenitsu agatsuma #agatsuma zenitsu #zenitsu x reader #zenitsu agatsuma x reader #agatsuma zenitsu x reader #inosuke hashibira #hashibira inosuke #inosuke x reader #inosuke hashibira x reader #hashibira inosuke x reader

[fumikaze]

Ask Him Out | Genya Shinazugawa

YOU SIGHED walking down the halls of blue lockers inside of the school, hearing your shoes squeak as you walk to a current boy’s classroom , as you were getting closer you could hear your heart beat through your ears. Never have you once asked someone out or caught any feelings for a boy before just fictional characters that were shown on t.v.

Seeing Genya unlocking his locker door to put his stuff back from math class , you begin to shake turning around to face Tanjirou , “I..I dunno man , I don’t think I can do this” You fiddle the hem of your school skirt

Tanjirou smiled putting his hand on your shoulder , “Just breath , Y/n-san” You did as you were told turning around seeing Genya about to leave for his next class

“Okay , I’m gonna do it , I’m gonna ask him out !” You said with confidence , you call out to Genya making him stop his track turning his head towards you, all the confidence you had just washed out of your body like a fucking drain you can feel your face getting hot , probably hotter then the sun

“Hi Y/n-chan” Genya smiled with pink hue on his cheeks. It took him one smile , just one and got you dead with words , you started to sweat again like if ran in the track team balling your fist marching back to the trio with a face red as tomato leaving Genya confused , he didn’t shrugged it off but did continue to walk to his next class , he didn’t want to be late

“So how did it go ?” Tanjirou asked you groaned looking down at the ground “I didn’t ask” Having those words slip from your mouth pissed off Inosuke

“WHAT THE HELL ! WHAT WAS THE POINT OF GOING OVER THERE” He shouted echoing down the hall catching the students attention

“S-Shut up asshole he smiled-know what fuck off Inosuke YOU DONT UNDERSTAND” You yelled back walking down to your next class with the boy’s following you and having Inosuke grumbled all the way there he kinda was right , you were supposed to ask him out now you made yourself look like a whole total creep. He probably thinks you’re a creep now

Pulling out your chair plopping down onto it , resting your head on your arms looking out of the window next to you watching the leaves and birds go by , It kinda calm your senses but thinking about having to face Genya again was starting to give you a headache , you wanted to dig yourself a hole and hide. Hide away from humans eyes and Shinazugawa-sensei

༄ ➸

It was already lunch time , you watched Genya from afar seeing him laugh with Tokito twins , wishing that was you at the moment not that you were jealous of the twin boys you like them

“Are you going to eat or keep watching him like a creep not that you already are , you have no chan-” Inosuke didn’t get to finish that sentence because you had done punched him in the stomach making him cough “Watch your tongue or I’ll cut it off the next time you speak like that again”

“Tch evil woman” He mumble under his breath shoving more food in his mouth Zenitsu cleared his throat shaking in his pants , “I’ve got an Idea” Zenitsu spoke turning your head to face him arching an eyebrow

“Okay what’s your idea ? it better not be stupid” He got up from his seat not saying anything confusing you and the rest of the group watching him turn until he reached to-

‘I’m gonna kill that bastard !’ You thought with a wicked smirk on your lips as you balled your fist watching him bring Genya over along with the twins , kept your head low hearing the footsteps come closer to the lunch table and Inosuke inhaling his food. Fucking pig

“Genya there’s an extra spot next to Y/n-chan, you can sit next to her and I’ll sit next to Tanjirou” Zenitsu said making you filnch gritting your teeth hearing Genya shuffle next to you , any moment now you’re going to die

“So Genya do you have a crush on anyone ?” Zenitsu asked hoping he would say it’s you and not any other girl that’s only if he opens up “Yeah , I do actually” He chuckled with a blush going across his cheeks to his ears , you wanted to pinch his blushing cheeks

You felt a pair of eyes on you looking up to Yuichiro staring right at you while he was eating the fries you had on your tray , making your lips into a straight line while sending glares at him. “Is that so Genya , who is this crush” Zenitsu was getting deeper trying to get to the bottom of this pit he had enough of you shitheads stalking each other or blushing just because you two are next to each other , Genya glared at him knowing what he’s trying to do

“Tch none of your damn business” Genya said quietly turning the other way so his back was facing you , two veins pop out of Zenitsu cheek and forehead he started to scream from frustration. “Why are the both of you two so dense and not be able to-” You cut him off before he could say anything else like exposing you by throwing food or whatever that was on your tray and throwing it onto his face

“Damnit bastard you’ve been acting up all goddamn morning and you’re catching people’s attention by screaming like a madman” You yelled standing up , Zenitsu was shaking ethier from frustration or terror “Catching people’s attention sounds more like you !” Zenitsu yelled with tears streaming down his face you had enough of this baboon completely forgetting the attention you two have caught

“What the hell do you even mean , piñata !” Before this argument could get any further someone pulled your arm and taking you out of the cafeteria. “Yuichiro lemme back in there , I’m not done yet”

“Clearly you are” He sigh shaking his head “So you have a crush on Genya ?” He continued looking at you , looking away from him shaking your head ‘no’ which he didn’t buy it

“Liar”

You tched feeling a little guilty for lying to him, “I do but whenever I approach him I always freeze and walk away from him without saying anything , he must think of me as a creep” You explained he stop walking letting go of your arm , he smacked you the back of the head “Idiot”

You rubbed the back of your head , “What’s the matter with you ! Respect your elders kid !” You yelled causing him to sigh again “Y/n , You’re not any older then I am” You groan walking away from him to who knows where

“Whatever” You grumbled walking up the stairs to the roof top

“Since you and Genya have the same class before school ends , you could just ask him out then. He’ll more likely be asleep that means you’ll have alone time with him. No pressure” He explains following behind you up the stairs , you thought for a moment

‘I could try that,’ You thought facing back to him “Yuichiro you’re a genius”

༄ ➸

School had ended , the bell went off it didn’t take long for the students to rush out of the door. It was just you and Genya , making your way to his desk looking at his sleeping form.

‘Fuck ! I don’t think I can do this’ You screamed in your head tightly gripping onto the strap of your bag that hung over your shoulder , You heard him groan you already knew there was no way out of this you’re going to face him like a man

He lifted his head up rubbing his eyes. “Genya” You said softly , he turned his head looking at you “H-Hi Y/n-chan” He stuttered feeling his own face getting hot hearing your phone buzz from inside your bag , digging through your bag for your phone , seeing you had a message from Yuichiro

Good luck idiot

That’s all he texted , you sigh bringing your attention back to Genya who looked back at you. “Who was that ?” He asked you hummed “Nobody just a game notification” You lied not wanting him to tell him it was Yuichiro because he might ask-

“Okay , I should get going my brother might get mad at me for coming home late” He said packing his things into his bag before throwing it over his shoulder “Bye Y/n-chan I’ll see you tomorrow” He waved you nodded frowning your brows

“Wait ! I need to ask you something” You called out for him before he could even take a step out of the classroom door , feeling your hand sweat again you open your mouth to speak “Do-Do you wanna go on a date with me ?”

Genya’s whole face turned red beginning to sweat also , it was just two teenagers in one room with red faces , Genya clicked his tongue excepting for the worse. “W-Where t-too ?” His voice came out shaky you took a breath trying to calm your beating heart

“To the amusement park” You blur out rather quickly he nodded his head “Alright I’m free Saturday”

“Sounds great !” You smiled which in the inside you were clearly throwing a party “See you then Y/n-chan” He said walking out the door without giving you a chance to say ‘Bye’ if he would stay any longer he was going to pass out , leaving you by yourself. You sat down on someone’s chair taking out your phone to text Yuichiro

I got a date with him on Saturday

I already knew what his answer was.

Note: Yuichiro and Muichiro already knew that the both of you liked it each other and Zentisu , you could tell he was on his last straw with you both💀Inosuke he didn’t really care but still participated. Tanjirou ? y’all already know , get a friend like him.

For the reader okay look at this she wasn’t afraid to approach him or be in the same presence as him but when it came down to asking him out she was mainly afraid of being rejected. I feel like we all be there and done that.

Sorry if my writing is terrible.

#kimetsu no yaiba imagines #knygenya #genya shinazugawa #shinaguzawa sanemi #genya shinazugawa x reader #genya x reader #kamada tanjiro #zenitsu agatsuma #inosuke hashiriba #nezuko kamado #muichiro tokito #yuichiro tokito #tsuyuri kanao #demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #kny oneshots #kny x reader

[savnofilter]

answering all hawks asks

i choose to answer this separately simply because i think it's important to me and not promote the stigma of “sounding black” or any other stereotypes like that. while there are most common ways such as AAVE (formerly known as ebonics), not everyone from one race will sound and act the same. while i will not ignore that yes, race does sometimes play in how you act or talk, but no one does it the same as another person. to lump us altogether and give us a “look” is degrading and disgusting. black people are not just one person, and if you think a foreign group or culture is lower than yours because it’s not the same, you need to reevaluate yourself. the asks on the topic i will be answering are the ones in regard to this screenshot.

if you guys didnt read in the post, some people made some distasteful ignorant comments about important black community topics. as someone from the black community, many things in and outside of our community has bothered me. whether it be racism, colorism, police brutality etc. i am the biggest believer and supporter of uniting the black community no matter what hair texture, what their kids will look like or how dark their skin is -- and it doesnt just stop there.  

-> on the topic of the black community, here are some BLM petitions 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.

+ protest safely 1, 2!

-> Zeno Robinson is such an amazing man, and not to mention he also went to the premiere dressed as hawks. his adoration for the characters he plays always shines through, no matter what role you put him in. you may have seen him in young justice as victor stone (cyborg), kimetsu’s no yaiba genya shinazugawa and many more! the way he embodies the characters he plays should never EVER be shadowed because of his skin color. this is for every black voice actor too. if anyone wants to make poor “jokes” about him not “sounding black” then you go fuck a fork. zeno did not show up to sound black, he showed up to play a character (which he does sUPERBLY at, and this is coming from someone who doesnt like hawks). if you think any type or form of stereotyping is okay, then i ask you kindly to escort yourself from my blog and never look back. i dont want your support. 

-> i have heard about the Miruko (with her v.a Anairis Quinones) situation, so i will be touching on that too since both of “doesnt sound black” and “sounds white” has been tossed around. theres a BIG difference between not liking someone’s voice, and relating it back to their skin color. i can see the point of we were expecting more of a more punchier tone (saying this because of the relation and excitement like we’ve seen in her interactions with bakugo) but if youre saying she sounds white, you can go eat a spoon. again, Zeno and Anairis didnt show up to “act” their race. they showed up for the job, and were hired for it. i love both of their voices so much and i love them, they dont deserve this.

i love my people, and i will stand for them because it's the right thing to do. i want my followers to see and understand why it's important to be aware of the different communities around them. without further adieu, i will get started. everything is under the cut (answered from oldest to the newest)!

TW: pseudo racism (microaggression), fandom discourse.

*Hawks’ English V.A (Zeno Robinson) & Hawks for reference. 

*Miruko’s English V.A (Anairis Quinones) & Miruko for reference.

~ Asks I’ve answered that I think are insightful on the Hawks situation (1, 2) ~

Anonymous said:

I would like to add onto the Hawks situation if that's ok? For those who don't know, Zeno Robinson is a black man and voices Hawks. When his English voice was revealed in trailers A LOT of fans commented how PERFECT his voice was. So Zeno literally embodies what makes Hawks' Hawks for some people. Also fans have also compared and drew Hawks as Egyptianesque gods. So to sit down and say/accept someone saying things like 'he doesn't sound black' and 'George [FLOYD] is a regular dude' is not only

A microagression and a blantant show of lack of compassion/support for a character that is a part of your safe space if you come home and thirst about hawks, but don't want to make your safe space 'political' by posting about police brutality. I'm not trying to make this explanation too 'political' but fans have to think what it's like for Hawk's VA to see someone like him getting murdered almost everyday in media for no acceptable reason and then have fans that choose to turn the other way.

- this is exactly the right point. people will not open their eyes to see what is wrong here. whether it be mocking a black actor’s voice acting, an ignorant comment about George Floyd, or ignoring black petitions to help the community. its subtle shit like that gives us and let’s us know that there is still ignorance and that these people dont hide it. it's disrespectful and disgusting. 

the writer’s who said the George Floyd comment has since now apologized, but god that makes me so angry. people actively make a safe space that is supposed to be for EVERYONE not welcome by promoting stuff like that. its gross, it's disgusting, and people need to see that theyre actions are wrong. furthermore, if anyone thinks inappropriate race “jokes” are somehow funny, i will not be associating. i will not waste me energy on people who refuses to get the point.

Anonymous said:

Bro Zeno is an angel and hawks voice is fucking phenomenal, it's the only dubbed voice I've ever liked tbh. They don't deserve him. and WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT I'M SORRY HUH

- I FUCKING KNOW! letting that shit slide is beyond fucking disrespectful. i dont fucking like hawks but i will absolutely fight for zeno. that disrespectful isnt “not important” -- these people are actively ruining safe spaces for fucking everyone! let me be fucking damned if thats not “important enough” for you. 🙄

Anonymous said: 

If you like Hawks at all, The LEAST you can do is not say or stand for things like 'George [FLOYD!!] is just a regular dude' and 'his voice doesn't sound black'. Don't be a part of the reason that makes Zeno's daily life and experiences harder than what they should be. 3/3 This goes for the amazing Mirko as well but I'll stop for now.

THIS!

seeing stuff that is hurtful, and it is damaging. people need to wake up and realize that anything can trigger anyone for any reason. people need to wake up and realize that “it’s not important” BECAUSE IT IS VERY IMPORTANT TO MANY PEOPLE! considering everything that is happening, this type of stuff will be deep rooted into someone who comes across it. i know what it's like to be blind about color until one situation flips your thinking on a switch.

for the Miruko situation, i remember seeing stuff about it. people need to understand that people are their own out of their skin color. we are people are people out of our skin color. let that sink in. if you dont like their voices outside of expecting them to sound “black” then that is completely fine. if its racially charged there is no excuse.

#bnharem #tw microaggression #tw: microagressions #tw: pseudo racism #tw pseudo racism #blm #bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #bnha hawks #bnha miruko #hawks #miruko