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randomdumpsterfire · 2 days

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I've had the key for about 2 months now and I just got the acorn bell at an Oddities expo ✨ Saw the acorn and realized what I could do since I have the key already so I bought it 😂 Maybe if Bilbo had a bell Thorin would be able to stop him from sneaking off and getting into trouble 😂

#bagginshield #thorin oakenshield #bilbo baggins #bilbo x thorin #i am cringe but i am free #i fucking love the hobbit #soft little gays

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hyperfixated-archivist · 2 days

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Here’s some crack fics I wrote a month ago that haunt my restless dreams. Behold.

———

The archive is on fire

this bothers nobody.

the tape recorder is on, rolling like proud Mary.

”Martin came into work today, fucking hate that man. Wish he would die. I’m such a good boss”

the door opens, and in comes Martin Crackhorn. “Sup you sexy snake, want some leaf juice?” “Fuck off you bastard, I’m reading about the mentally Ill.”

martin blushes.

Tim bursts through the wall like the kill aid man, dressed head to dog in mr bonzo merch. And lingerie, but no one cares about that—there are more pressing matters.

“I solved the arg mother fuckers, here’s my girlfriend.” Alice hand drier walked in on the ceiling, because trans people don’t like physics or any of its motives. “Wassup bitches, gimme a twenty.”

“Why?” Sasha asks, crawling out from her desk chewing a table. “Because I’m so sexy that’s why.”

They all nod in agreement.

“Welp,” Elias says, notifying to everyone that he was still there with a slap of his 200 hundred year old knees. “I’m getting another divorce today, can’t stick around.”

“Leave my dad alone!” Martin and Tim say, glaring at each other before Martin stabs Tim in the elbow. “They! That was new!!”

Jon sighs. “I wish mr spider had just eaten me instead of billy wheeler.”

“Womp womp” says nikola, taking his ear and chewing it like Tabasco.

“I hate this life.” Gerry says, “make out with me,” says the sexy yellow door.

“No thanks, I’m a book, we will never work.” Micheal runs away crying.

“what did you just say to my grandson?” Gertrude has risen from the dead. “I think you’re confused gramma.” “No, I’m Gertrude.”

Eric is in the corner putting his eyes back in, but they’re backwards and he is horrified by the sight of his own Brian.

”marry me Juliet,” says Martin to his emotionally constipated boss. “No! I’m busy.” He picks up the binoculars and looks at Tim who is sat two feet from him on Alice’s lap.

“Omg that’s so gay.” Alice is weeping openly now.

Peter walks in, the room goes misty.

“There you are, my prized little problem.”

“Dad!” Elias gets a weird look, but no one follows up on it because Tim is missing both his girlfriend and his knees.

Peter dips out after punching Jon in the emotions.

”I can see it all.” Jon gets punched by Daisy, who immediately smooches bassira on the forehead before jumping into the coffin.

“Well,” “shit,” Berlin and Hoop are pale and normal looking, pay no attention to the zippers on their necks.

”it’s time to d-d-d-duel!” Mary has been skinned. Everyone ignores her. As they should.

“Well,” Martin wants to say he didn’t see this coming, but he did. “I’m going to marry you.”

“Oh word?” Jon and Martin have a wedding in spring. It is delightful, no one dies, and the priest is just happy to be free from the meaty clutch.

Jared hopworth is the flower girl. It does not end well.

The eyepocolypse is avoided, but Daisy still does because it’s what she deserves.

Elias gets killed by jurgen lightener, who immediately dies of Ligma.

All is well, except for Tim. He is suffering.

Click.

———

Heavy metal blasts from her mouth.

”wassup twot, where’s the cheese?” Mary sighed. “We ‘ave non.” “Bullshit, give me the cheese before I ceaseless watcher you.”

Mary visibly tenses. She pulls out an uno reverse.

Gertrude eats it.

”Dearly beloved, get wrecked.” Gertrude does a backflip.

”I want your lungs.” “No, that’s gay.”

The crusty dusty old bitches fight. Gertrude wins, the absolute girlboss.

Micheal comes out from Gerry’s room, no one ask why.

“Oh no!” Gertrude’s eyebrows run away. “The consequences of my actions!”

“I’m going to kill you.”

“Nuh uh.”

.

a gunshot rings out.

Gerry is an orphan, Mary is still alive, Micheal is single, and Gertrude is secretly John Cena, hence why the eye couldn’t see her.

”if you don’t like my killer attitude—“

Eric bursts in. “You’re cheating on me?!”

“What? No?” Gertrude is a confused old lady.

“Not you— her.” “Oh, yes. She’s a lying scumbag.”

Eric gets the rusty shears, but trips and dies. Not on the shears, but from embarrassment and testicular blueness.

“Gerry wants to die.” No one knows who said it, but it’s very true.

So he does.

momstermf enermguy. Bag for lumgs.

”I want to marry you so that we can divorce.” “Alright Elias, calm your saggy tits.”

No one is happy, and Micheal is still a door.

“Don’t @ me.” Gertrude is dead now, and all is at peace.

———

Martin was hungy. Tim owned a pet gorldfish.

Can I make it anymore obvious?

”Martini, you absolute gay barnacle, have you seen my fish Charles-Jevil—“

Marin is choking on the fish. Greedy bastard.

Jon is crying in disappointment and also because of his severe and chronic lack of parents.

Sasha is dead. No one knows why.

Tim has a gun, and breaks through a wall just to walk back in through the front door.

Will wood is blasting from every device, electronic and not.

It’s just Red Moon. Again, and again.

Elias walks in, hears will wood, and because he is a homophobe he immediately dies.

Agnes would have come, but she was on a date with her boyfriend because they deserve happiness and they get it.

Tim has been c4’d by Martin. The audience cheers, then weeps until the archive is flooded.

”My paper-work!” “Jon you fucking neek, no one cares about the fucking boxes you foolish bitch!!”

Jon is having a panic attack, and the water has eaten his shoes.

Tim has forgotten his anger, and since he is a ghost, he can get his pet fish back from Hades, Orpheus style.

Spoiler, he looked back. She died.

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reallyunluckyrunaway · 2 days

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thefourfan · 19 hours

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Since I'm noticing FolderPET posts are appearing on this site, I'm gonna share my headcanons for them ^^

Folder secretly has a consciousness, but hides it unless the only people around are other ai/desktop assistants. He automatically acts like he does in ONE if a non-ai/desktop assistant person looks at him. It's basically like Toy Story.

Kinito is pan while Folder is omni. They're also ace4ace!

They both love giving and receiving physical touch from one another. Basically, lots of cuddles, hand-holding, leaning against each other, hugging, falling asleep in the other's arms, etc.

Kinito's main love language is gift-giving! He tends to code in little gifts for Folder (like flowers), as well as write short stories for him. Folder has a folder (heh) in the computer's downloads where he keeps all of Kinito's gifts :3

Folder's main love language, on the other hand, is words of affection! During cuddle-time, he'll often murmur sweet compliments to him. Kinito absolutely MELTS everytime he does it

Although both of them are conscious beings with emotions (including romantic attraction), they also somewhat determine their behaviors based on what they were coded to do, and neither of them were programed to express romance. Initially, they both knew they had romantic feelings for one another, but had no idea how to actually express it to each other. Basically, the beginning of their relationship consisted of them researching things that human couples did and trying the things out together to figure out what they liked.

Adding onto headcanon #6, when they learned about kissing, they wanted to do it but couldn't properly because Kinito lacked a mouth, and he felt bad about it. Fortunately for them, in a state of pure geniusness™, the two came up with the idea of no-contact kisses, which was basically them hovering their faces close to each other and saying "mwah" repeatedly (it looks exactly as silly as it sounds)

They like to draw together on paint.

Folder thinks that Kinito looks hella cute in his reading glasses

They have a "yaps x listens" dynamic, usually with Folder as the yapper and Kinito as the listener, but they switch roles sometimes

I might make a part 2, because I still have more headcanons for them :>

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porcelain-rob0t · 7 months

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on identity, healing the inner child, fursonas, and cringe culture

#art #digital art #my art #fursona #personal comic #furry #wolf #i had a werewolf phase when i was 8. i would howl at the moon and i would grow my nails out and chew them into claws #comic #webcomic #web comic #comics #comic artist #indie comic #this will probably be included in a zine later #cringe culture is dead #i am cringe but i am free

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frenzyarts · 4 months

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I'm not going to buy your art if you're going to reblog cringe.

This is one of the funniest asks I’ve ever gotten I don’t even know how to respond

You’re ON the cringe website. Do you also get mad when you open a book and words are inside

#If you don’t like cringe I don’t want your money #i am cringe but i am free #frenzy post

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skoofie · 1 month

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Friendly reminder that you should

Write that fic

Draw your OC

Redesign that blorbo

Plan that comic how you want

Create the content you want to see

Be cringe

Be free

The only thing that matters is you having fun! Not what others think!

#ski thoughts #i am cringe but i am free #this isnt directed at anyone btw #just been seeing a lot of people feeling too scared to share their thoughts (me too bestie) and sometimes we (also me) need a reminder that #we can do what we want forever #whos gonna stop you?#haters?#they want u so bad it makes them look silly

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anintrovertedechoe · 11 months

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Lucifer: who the fuck took my demonus i just wanna talk

the brothers knowing that whoever did is fucking dead:

MC: it was me.

Lucifer: what.

MC: it was me.

Lucifer: why??? you literally can’t even get drunk off it????

MC: it tastes like capri sun and i miss it you whore

Lucifer: what the fuck is a capri sun

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mischieviem · 8 days

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That natural soup show or whatever

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snakeautistic · 1 month

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Me pondering whether or not to out myself as silly with it

#cringe culture is dead #i am cringe but i am free #actually autistic #neurodivergent #autistic things #unmasking #autistic #neurodiversity #autistic experiences #neurodivergence

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la-pheacienne · 22 days

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I'm reading the lord of the rings and I'm once again amazed at how... good most characters are. Like, they are genuinely good people. They are a bunch of kindhearted, gracious, caring people, coming together under adverse circumstances and trying to figure things out and find a solution and support each other through it all. Like Frodo and Sam meet Faramir and Faramir is a bit suspicious at first and kind of implies Frodo may be a spy, and then when he hears his story and he's like Frodo, I pressed you so hard at first. Forgive me! It was unwise in such an hour and place. And this blows.my.mind. He wasn't even particularly mean or threatening to him in the beginning, he's just such a kind, considerate man, recognizing the kindness and honesty of another man. And they're all like that. Even Gollum starts slowly changing (for a short while) when he encounters Frodo because that's the thing about kindness and humility and grace, they are contagious. They transform people, even a creature like Gollum cannot be immune to that. Like, you may consider all this simple and basic and I get it but, hear me out. It is quite rare to see that in modern media and it is also pretty difficult to pull off in a way that is not corny and simplistic. It is mind blowing that you actually don't have to present the entire palette of human cruelty and vice in order to tell a compelling story, contrary to popular belief. Lotr does the exact opposite, and it is just beautiful and it warms my heart. Especially taking into consideration tolkien's pretty grim growing-up experience, him being a double orphan without a home, raised between an orphanage and a priest and having no family apart from his brother and then the war and then he almost dies and then he's poor as hell and then a second war and it all makes sense somehow. He writes to his wife who is also an orphan two days before the marriage "the next few years will bring us joy and content and love and sweetness such as could not be if we hadn't first been two homeless children and had found one another after long waiting" and, yes, yes! The love and sweetness just radiate from his work, the entire lotr series is a little radiant bubble of hope and love and grace that he imagined in his head to deal with a dismal reality and then he just gave that to the world, and isn't that what imagination and art is all about after all?

#i literally wrote this because faramir said 'forgive me'#like that was the inspiration here #terminal brain damage don't mind me #BUT #i have a point #i do!#i am cringe but i am free #i love these books so much #i love this man so much #lotr #the two towers #frodo baggins #faramir #gollum #the lord of the rings #aspa rambles #tolkien #aspa reads tolkien

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wachie · 4 months

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#i am cringe but i am free #love tumblr. barely anyone I know sees this stuff #hi to anyone I know who’s seeing this stuff #ace attorney #phoenix wright #miles edgeworth

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marapui · 4 months

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I don't know what it is kkshhkkrk

#i am cringe but i am free #adventure time #artists on tumblr #fionna and cake #prismo #prohibitedwish #prismo the wishmaster #scarab the god auditor #scarab #animation

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ato-dato · 3 months

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I return to you with one piece fanart, sire.

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nostalgicish · 5 months

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say “yeah this book was so good it changed my life” and no one bats an eye

say “yeah this fan fic was so good it changed my life” and society goes wild

#SOCIETY #i am cringe but i am free #ao3 #cringe culture isn’t dead #but i wish it was #yeah this is abt klance again idc #klance #voltron

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baskeigh-ball · 1 year

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So. How bout them rottmnt body-swap fics/comics huh

I may have realized that I can just make my own, so. I did that. As for how they got switched up, it was just some mystic nonsense. Likely the aftermath of fighting a mutant that uses magic like Hypno, or even a case of Donnie's inventions going on the fritz

And no this isn't one of those swap stories where the characters inexplicably keep their original voices (which always makes zero sense imo, they switched minds not vocal chords). Just clarifying in case the use of color-coded speech bubbles causes confusion

Donnie physically cannot wear his goggles now but made up for it by giving himself eyebrows. Mikey is on a power trip soon-to-be identity crisis. Leo is suffering as the official shortest brother, but also will definitely be trying out Mikey's mystic powers soon enough. Raph is...dealing.

#i am cringe but i am free #this is so dumb #i have so many ideas for this but im also open to suggestions #look i haven't drawn anything but au content for a while let me have this-#rottmnt #rottmnt fanart #rottmnt mikey #rottmnt leo #rottmnt raph #rottmnt donnie #my art #mind swap drabbles #rottmnt mind swap

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