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#I am giving it one more week...
genderabolitionist · 5 days ago
my therapist wants to talk about me going back to work this week and i just literally want to fire her every fucking week just so i’m left the fuck a l o n e
#like LEAVE ME ALONE#just fucking leave! me! alone!#she’s like ‘’you keep saying you’re having a breakdown but that has to end sometime’’ oh really cindy? does it? really? ya don’t fucking say#like i am more than aware of all the time i am wasting and have wasted battling depression for almost TWELVE YEARS NOW#i think i know i’m wasting time and don’t need to actually be reminded of it thanks#also i really just want nothing to do with medicine (even just as a fucking receptionist) just yet#i don’t want to wear a mask at work anymore. i want to go back to work when we are no longer expected to be masked indoors#fucking sue me i guess since that’s such an awful irresponsible desire#my job is 100% patient forward i interact with them in person and often am the one physically helping them (even though i shouldn’t)#i want to be able to BE with patients and not feel like they are a danger to me or i to them just by being right next to them#i want to be able to help people out of wheelchairs again and hold their hands while they get labs drawn when they’re afraid of blood#and that’s just apparently never going to be a thing again for what i’ve chosen to do#who h means i have no idea what the fuck to do! LEAVE ME ALONE#and i probably never should have fucking quit my first job to begin with. let ne wallow in my regret thanks#like at the end of the day my circumstances allow me to take as much goddamn fucking time as i need#so i will do just that and if that means i get another job and quit after six months AND DO THIS ALL OVER AGAIN NEXT YEAR then so be it#maybe i’m doomed to only working a job for 6-8 months and then having to take 6 months off battling depression#she can fuck off at this point. i’m so closed to firing her after talking to her every week for the past 6 ALMOST 7 YEARS NOW#i get what her role is. i get that she’s supposed to challenge me but at this point she’s literally putting me in a position#where i am starting to NOT feel comfortable giving her my time#like she needs to stop pushing me before she finds herself free every wednesday at 3:15 until she picks up a new patient
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goldensunset · 11 days ago
happy almost 1am i’m up rageposting about my dad bc i can’t sleep from the completely unnecessary stress he’s putting on me
#might as well just rant in the tags here and now#sir you do not need to keep screaming at me to go get a summer job#i graduated from high school not even one week ago#give me two seconds to breathe why don't ya?#i am fully planning to go do just that#please let me take care of the last of my academic responsibilities#i PROMISE i will go job hunting immediately after that i literally just need one more day!!!!#and you're talking like it's gonna be hard to get a job!!#literally everywhere is hiring i can afford to be selective and wait a bit#'DO THIS TOMORROW OK' how about...thursday!! literally just one day away from that!! bc i have something wednesday evening#and i'm the type of person who can't make plans for more than one thing in a day#esp if the already established thing is later in the day im like well whoops i only have six hours im booked no time!!#its not my fault my brain works that way also i need a little bit more time to mentally prepare before i just walk into a store#and ask for a job and interview right on the spot???! thats terrifying esp for an awkward introvert whos never had a job before!!!#esp since its a breakfast place they're open from 7-3 so i'd have to go in early to get a chance to talk to someone#but im too stressed about aforementioned stupidity and anger to be able to fall asleep rn#i can't sleep and i def wont be able to wake up early tomorrow and drag myself out there to do something so important#that im not prepared for anyway#anyway my dad is insane i need him to stop talking to me xoxo#screw this honestly im not doing that tomorrow theres no way but i have to do something or he'll scream at me AGAINNNNN#am i an adult or not? is this my responsibility or not? he keeps yelling at me that im not a kid and i have to be responsible#and yet he seems to think im a genuine moron who needs nagging#bro if im really a grown responsible adult who needs to learn from her own mistakes instead of getting her hand held then BUTT OUT#MIND YOUR BUSINESS GO TO THERAPY AND WORK AT YOUR OWN JOB THAT YOU HATE AND QUIT TAKING YOUR MISERY OUT ON US#peach rambles#dad mention
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tsjernobyl · 16 days ago
ya i agree the og bench scene sucks. and there’s no direct parallel between like homophobia and islamophobia/racism. it’s apples and oranges and i don’t think comparisons would help anyone. by bench scene i meant more like a scene where yasmina talks about what happened and why she did the hate account thing and then someone comforts her. (lol will this event happen)
no, exactly... i have no clue if it will or who it'd even be with since they're changing so much. and let's just say even if moyo/robbe are part of this end friendship n moral support shit here, the sheer lack of them in the first half is a ding to me, even just bg and socials stuff. but anyway, i do hope she gets to talk to someone about how she's felt about the gsquad who could give her a more objective pov... and not isak's kind of objective lmao. just support her ffs, but this change to the hate account makes me more wary of who that is gonna be and WHO yasmina is gonna feel like she owes an apology to. like the idea that she might apologize to a ba member for it is :) idk abt yall...
#easks#wtfasks#i think the writings improved between s4 and now bc they have smth to base it on but#this week of clips is a warning sign to me itll go downhill from here (which is normal for sana seasons fkljsdkl second half goes off the#rail)#this season has the same VIBE of s4 in a way in terms of.... lack of a collectiveness? n maybe that comes with the sanas stories#and yeah its bc of covid logically but also.. like this is the last season. and its unsatisfactory to me in its utilization of characters#i love them prioritizing luca but then they turn around and give her no growth within that? so do i love it?#i think ppl are allowed to be upset abt the way this doesnt feel like a final season#im well aware yasmina doesnt party and all that shit so we get no glimpses through that but wtfock nixed a lot of avenues of seeing the#group as a whole thiis season so.. is it any wonder there is some level of frustration?? like i dont think its unreasonable but lol#also ive never fully agreed with the idea that subplots take away from seasons.. like in skam fashion it feels like it live.. and then#watching it back is fine most of the time lol#skam s4 bigger flaw is only giving sana 9 eps not ten full ones bc the subplots. help the ensemble feel#wtfock s5 lacks them and is making me preemptively sad bc theyre essentially gone already#yall are telling me u LOVE the repetition w younes rn of her seeing him w aicha and getting pissed without talking?? like#THATS more necessary than some subplots.. sure#like i really am liking the season. i wish it wasnt the last bc its not doing justice to the ensemble we know and love the way s1-3 did#and it probably would have precovid but. i digress i digress#sorry most of this is irrelevant i just think ppl should be allowed to vent their frustrations flksdjklfjsdkl even tho i dont agree w#extreme takes either.. it can be disappointing lol#SORRY sorry flksjdflk truly just took this over to rant for a min but i feel better amen
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cause-i-wanted-to-fly · 26 days ago
#okay usually I don’t rant int he tags but I really had it with my professor#yesterday I emailed my prof if could hand in my work for tomorrow on Sunday since one of my close family has passed away#and he said no because it’s part of my attendance grade or whatever (it’s a bit complicated in my uni) and he needs#medical certificate#and I mean that was fine#I thought it was weird since I don’t actually get a grade for this subject but just a attendance certificate but it was okay#until I got another email#in which he wrote a email too the whole class#he did not say my name so nobody knew it was me#but he said it was not acceptable for students to ask for a later hand in without a medical attest#*medical certificate#and it’s our fault if we don’t plan our student life accordingly to this#and that we had two weeks time to hand our bibliography work in (the work I had to hand in) and it needs a very good excuse to give it later#and gosh#I am so angry#who does he think he is saying it’s my fault for not planning ahead????#he has no idea how truly miserable my week has been#of course I would’ve done the work if could’ve! I agree it’s not a lot of work but it’s still exhausting to do this! especially since it’s#not the only thing I had to do! I still have so much reading to do for other classes!!! also all my other profs which I messaged to hand in#something later said it was not a problem!! and I even got grades for these! but no it’s too much to ask for three more days#I am just so exhausted#tw Death
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gonnametcha · a month ago
memories that make me wanna die
#when he told me he'd die without me#i didn't want him to. i'm glad he didn't. but was i so easy to replace? when all ive been thinking about is him#i keep pretending#i've been pretending. and i'll keep pretending#but if i could see him one last time#i'd probably slap him in the face. or punch him. and then i'd start crying and i'd say something like. i KNOW!!#i know EYE am to blame!! ive been hating myself for weeks because of what i did!! tyvm!! but i did it cause we needed some time off!! and!!#we were so toxic to each other!! but now that we took a step back!!#i know for sure that you were the one!! i told you i'd come back and you didn't believe me and now you're!!#in love with someone else as if that was THAT easy!! as if i was THAT easy to replace!! you've been lying to me all this time haven't you!!#and then i'd cry even louder and i would tell him to go fuck himself because that's how things work.#and he'd tell me that he doesn't give a FUCK what i think or feel cause he's happier now than he's ever been yadda yadda yadda#that's how i picture it at least. i have to imagine it cause i know i won't ever see him again.#yes i want you to be happy! yes i'm glad you found someone else to treat you right! yes i want to punch you and break your nose!#that didn't work out anyway. we couldn't get along for the life of us#it's better this way trust me i know#i'm better off without him but i'm still allowed to grieve aren't i#i don't NEED him or anything actually i don't need a man to take care of me to love me or whatever#i can take care of myself and love myself and i don't have time for a relationship cause i'm busy with college and my studies will always be#more important than a 'love story'. plus i have amazing friends that i want to give all my attention to#as i was saying i don't need anyone and i don't need him but what we experienced together was enough for me to feel a bit sad#i'm sad things couldn't work out fine. but it's okay#i have to accept that it's okay to part ways with people that were very very important at some point in your life#it's okay to part ways with people that you loved very deeply. it's okay. that's just the way things are. you'll lose people and you'll meet#other people that can love you just as much; that can love you better. that's the way things are. and it's important to remember that those#who leave will end up becoming complete strangers and they don't KNOW you. you think they do but they just knew the person you were#when they still had a place in your life. but you're not the person you were 2 months ago or 8 months ago or 2 years ago#you change and no matter how important they were to you now they don't KNOW you#sighs. what i'm saying is that we're strangers to each other. and i cannot keep loving someone who doesn't exist anymore#that's why i'll move on and get over it. but fuck you though
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v-pet · a month ago
my brother walks into my room like "hey if i eat this thing in the freezer are you going to make a big deal about me eating it" like well maybe if you werent always eating my food that i get for myself i wouldnt make a big deal about you always eating it 🤪
#me: going 2 the grocery store what do you want#brother: oh idk just whatever. i will give you no specific foods so you must simply guess what i might be in the mood for#me: fine whatever. heres your food.#brother: awesome thanks *eats MY food*#if he told me 'buy more of This Thing' then i WOULD but he doesnt say ANYTHING#he wont help us plan family meals and he wont put things on the shopping list and he doesnt do jack#not even PLANNING family meals. he just wont help at ALL. i ask 'hey wat are some dinners you want this week' and he'll say#'i dunno. not lasagna though. some kind of meat and potatoes or bread maybe.'#YOU ARE SO UNHELPFUL. YOU CANT EVEN GIVE ME /ONE/ MEAL#or when he DOES give us ONE suggestion its always something that takes SO MUCH prepwork and cook time like chicken and dumplings#like how do you not notice that whenever we have that im in the kitchen for like 2-3 hours dfhjsgjhdhjfdh#part of the problem also is that he doesnt put things on the shopping list even when he finishes them#so ill go to the kitchen the day after grocery shopping and be like 'oh boy i cant wait to eat this!'#and i look and its Not There because he ate it days ago and we JUST went to the store but he didnt put it on the LIIISTTT#so now i have to WAIT like another WEEK before i can BUY MORE#when i couldve bought it when i went to the store if it was just on the LIST or if i KNEW IT WAS OUT#AUGH. ATTACKA YOU WITH A BARREL#i like to imagine i am a fairly chill person but by god kitchen disorganization gets on my NERVES#thats like. the one thing that gets to me fshgjsdhdfg#literally even just TELL ME 'oh btw i finished this' then id be like okay whatever and write it on the list#but he just. eats it. throws away box. then says he didnt notice that he finished it dfhjsg like girl WHAT#then again this is the same 28 year old man who only cleans his bathroom and room twice a year so [shrug emoticon]#no wonder his roommates moved out after not even one year of living with him LOL WHAT WHO SAID THAT.. NOT ME.......
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hildapoggers · a month ago
Small update
Might have to miss this week’s page! I’ve had a busy ish week with a lot of mentally taxing stuff, and so while I can try and do a lot on it today, I’m weary of taxing myself even more health wise, because I know staying up too late or pulling an allnighter wouldn’t be good for my health
As well as that I’d rather not sacrifice quality to post it in time, and I know considering how much I have to get done I’d ‘make do’ with things more and probably cut a lot more corners/rush it out a lot. And like, I don’t wanna do that. I’m enjoying making the comic so far and am doing it largely for practice on both backgrounds, poses, and drawing in general, and if I’m rushing things out and sacrificing quality it’s not that good for practice either
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mashkaroom · a month ago
literally why is apparently the entirety of the MRI scheduling dept at beth israel run by one woman who is evidently only available for half an hour in the early morning? why do you not just have a portal? why are you throwing shade at ME for the fact that it’s taking a long time to schedule an MRI? “please schedule asap and adjust your schedule, it’s very difficult to schedule an MRI” yeah lmao, i fucking noticed. it’s because you guys do it by having aforementioned one lady call at an undisclosed time. i am not always available to come to the phone! what is this assumption!
#i had already had one scheduled but there was a change in plans and i couldn't do it that day#it took like 2 fucking weeks because this lady calls only at like 8 in the morning during which time i am asleep#i genuinely don't understand why they can't have a portal to schedule this. why does it have to be difficult to schedule#also i feel like they are lowkey being mean about this. i'm not upset it's just annoying as fuck#the doctor is a personal friend of my aunt's and very good in his field and saw me on very short notice so i am grateful for that#but he's also. honestly very annoying.#he was not able to reach me at the first call and so texted my aunt to tell her to tell me to check my voicemail#boy just email me!#this whole system is not only a hassle for the patients and has major accessibility issues#it also seems like it creates way more work for the employees#portal would be best but email would already be easier#or at least have there be a choice#i was honestly ready to give up on this bc the problem in question had dissipated and the schedule process is just. so much#but we have money left in the fsa that will expire soon so#better now than next year probably?#also email etiquette for doctors is so fucking stressful#this really is a part of medicine that should be fully automated#i don't want to have to feel like an asshole for rescheduling bc it has to go through an individual person#and i don't want to have to worry about whether my tone in an email containing 1 item of information is rude#fucking abolish email ettiquette#i keep being hugely frustrated by the most pointless things#like at least in high school the things that i was annoyed about i was also righteously angry about#i guess i would rather these things be low-stakes but also#i handle annoyance so poorly#and there's nothing i can do about any of this bc it's fully pointless and arbitrary#no man or machine to rail against just. a bunch of pointless habits and customs which grate on me#i will drink some calming tea. everything that is annoying to me now will be resolved soon. nothing is long-term.#i will roll my boulder up the hill and imagine myself happy#who needs therapy when you have Talking about albert camus's the myth of sysiphus in tumblr tags
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samuyed · a month ago
#life update!#hot cheeto girl and I moved in together at the beginning of the month#originally was supposed to be until June then may then shit kept happening and we had to be out of our respective places asap#the apartments really cute I am so happy to be living in a new place and living with then#and once again I must say#were literally doing everything a domestic couple#are doing just without the label LOL#which is fine cause neither of us are really seeking out others#in not as good news#everything continues to be an absolute shit show at work#people getting fired on a monthly basis not sure who's gonna show up#and then the one day I need to take off for mental health i still get no less then 4 phone calls from my coworkers#because they no work life boundaries and think I'm gonna pick up the phone on my one off day to talk about work drama#and the only coworker left who is more experienced than I am is all but begging me not to leave and find a different job#because she knows it's understaffed and awful and theres no infrastructure so if I leave#but that's not my responsibility that's the bosses fault for being a micro managing asshole who can't keep staff for more than 3 - 6 months#so I'm just biding my time until I get a job offer then I'm putting in my two weeks to be courteous#on more hopeful news I interviewed for the old position I was doing and will hear back by the end of this week#hopefully#fingers crossed for me because Friday really showed me I deserve so much better than this clinic can give#like yall literally NONE of my other 4 coworkers showed up and I was the only one#i had to do ALL reception duties for 8 hours by myself barely a lunch break and still do my own job on top of it#i need and deserve a better job
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