#I am keeping my thoughts to myself.

[inkskinned]

the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.

sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.

you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.

it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.

but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.

they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.

they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.

barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.

and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.

but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.

they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!

this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.

#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone #yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post. #writeblr #ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person #and on this blog we support workers. #at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going. #when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens #have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists #and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like. #it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases - #at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory. #it was what i had seen. #and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference #we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol' #so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender #and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID. #he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different #i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.

[heymacy]

IAN GALLAGHER + his journey with bipolar disorder

╰┈➤ “At times, being bipolar can be an all-consuming challenge, requiring a lot of stamina and even more courage, so if you’re living with this illness and functioning at all, it’s something to be proud of, not ashamed of." - Carrie Fisher

#happy world bipolar day to all my bp babies #(more thoughts at the end of the tags) #shameless #shamelessnet #shamelessedit #ian gallagher #cameron monaghan #*macygifs #bipolar disorder #hello pals how are we doin #i made this gif set in july of 2023 and never posted it because 1) i was terrified to share it and potentially see Bad Takes in the tags #and 2) because my hyperfixation was waning. and while both of those things are still mostly true (the fixation comes and goes) #i feel like it's really important to share as ian's bipolar storyline was not only so vital to his character it was a bit of representation #that isn't often given to the disorder and those (like myself) who live with it every single day #world bipolar day is a day where we can both celebrate ourselves and our resilience and also raise awareness of the reality of the disorder #which is both terrifying and beautiful at its core. this disease is not a death sentence or a sentence to an unfulfilled and miserable life #while there are challenges galore when it comes to balancing life with this disorder it IS possible to live a full and productive life #and i think it's really important to have representation of that in media - and while shameless dropped the ball on a LOT of storylines #over the years THIS is the one they really fucking nailed and i am incredibly grateful #i first started watching shameless while in the midst of a major depressive episode and i was later (finally) diagnosed during an extended #hypo/manic episode - this show and ian's storyline got me through so much and made me feel so seen and validated in my struggles #world bipolar day is also vincent van gogh's birthday (happy birthday buddy) who was posthumously diagnosed with bipolar disorder #and who experienced both depressive and hypo/manic episodes during his lifetime (and was regularly institutionalized) #it takes a lot of help and support to keep us going. it takes the support of our family and friends and *most* of all #it takes patience and kindness and understanding - which is so so so easy to give if you are willing to love and listen #so please. be willing. listen to our stories. be patient with us. show us love without conditions. support us in any way you can. #we are worth it #i promise #anyway. that's really all i wanted to say. happy world bipolar day to those who celebrate (me) and may all of us living with this disorder #go on to live happy fulfilling beautiful magical lives

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

MDZS x Warrior Cats AU (part 1): That boy can meow!

Names and a huge inspiration credits to @clintbeefwoods!

(part 2)

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #mdzs au #mdzs warrior cats au #wei wuxian #mo xuanyu #little apple #lan wangji #lan wunian #If you thought for a second I wouldn't find a way to keep littlewang in this au #then you have severely underestimated my horse yuri powers. #The start of the Warrior cats AU begins! Yes the clans are somewhat the same but the lore *has* shifted to better suit mdzs canon. #For one: Cross clan apprentice training is an option. Gusu school arc is still a school arc. #wwx would have a blast pouncing on lwj's Too Long Tail He Has Yet To Grow Into. #(Its very important to me that lwj/bluepaw has those kittenish big ears). #I will probably circle back to drawing teenxian apprentice antics after I get through the cast. #I had to put myself into a cat drawing boot camp for this AU (despite my sona being a cat I...actually don't really know how to draw one). #and I feel like I learned a lot + need a lot more practice...however this *is* the practice! It's for fun! #I'll be alternating comics and AU stuff this month! happy chatember! #Clintbeefwoods has put a ton of work into this AU and I am so excited to show it off!

[insertsomthinawesome]

@priellan COME GET THE BOY!!! ✨

Some different ideas for how that could go down >:D And me picking something personally self indulgent again asdlfjsdLJSDGLDSJG I wanna see him with a Tangled rapunzel length hair braid... it would be so pretty...

#Trigun Stampede #Trigun Stampede Spoilers #Vash the stampede #vash trigun stampede #Isa's fanart #InsertSomthinAwesome #Isa doobles requests #May2023 #priellan #I'm not tagging date asdlfJSDLKGJSDLGJKSDG #i sat down and went. I am not going to out myself as a Somnium files enjoyer through trigun fanart #SDFKJSDLKGJSDGLSD I NEED TO REBLOG SOMETHING FIRST xD #admittedly that would've been funny tho #THis was some good fun :D #Let me know if you need a version without spoilers because I understand he was kinda outta nowhere asdkfJSLDGJSDLGSD #boy needs something to keep all that hair out of his face good GRIEF #Uh xion don't read the tags past this point because I'm rambling about somnium files nonsense WHEEZE #friend 1 talking about date: I love how proud he looks like he did it himself #friend 2: the last one tho Date's been giving pointers I see #Guys my friends are making Date out to be dadding Vash and I can't handle the wholesomeness of that thought #(he would tho) #Lore: Meryl did the third one WHEEZE #the mid head high tail #she did her best. but bless her she also has short hair and no idea how to manage it

[stuckinapril]

I’m happy for the little life I built for myself

#there’s a lot of ways to go #i am nowhere NEAR the dream life I really want to attain #or the dream person I want to be #but high school me #hell even freshman in college me #would GAWK at the life I have so deliberately made happen. #the solid network of friends I have #the confidence I’m slowly but surely growing into #the discipline I’m harvesting bit by bit. i do not claim perfection but I am 100% improving #I’m just happy idk! i don’t compare myself at all now bc I know I’m on the right track #especially compared to where I was like 5 years ago. such a different mind state from now #and no one can take that away from me #there’s a lot more to go. a lot more. but I thought I’d pause and be intentionally grateful for what has been accomplished #bc it actually puts things into perspective to look at the past rather than just look to the present. it creates contentment #i get so caught up being hard on myself for not accomplishing certain things yet #that I forget I pulled myself out of such a deep rut by the skin of my teeth #and that’s important to keep in mind even as you progress to your goals #anyway <333 happy content in my own lane etc etc #p

[coolnonsenseworld]

Last piece ❤️💙

There are still leftovers of the Calendar as well as some A5 prints with calendar pieces 💞

linktr.ee/Mezzy (or check my Tumblr for links)

#klance fanart #klance #voltron legendary defender #ooofff you ever feel like you keep doing things and things are still to get done??? #i keep saying this every five posts #i start to think loving getting in the 'art zone' is my biggest vice #because sure i sketch or do some digital work from time to time but if i haven't sat down to draw for hours #until eyes sting and neck cant move and brain sleepy af? is it drawing anymore? is it living anymore? yeah i thought so #im the main person making grocery shopping in this house did you know? for three people #there is always something running out and like let me tell you i already answer business emails while eating #i cleaned the windows today before my first coffee #okay to be fair i started it but apparently i used the wrong bottle and i smeared anti grease all over the windows #and then finished my coffee staring at the curvy roads of a thin film painted between me and the world promising myself to never do anythin #before first coffee #either way i feel like i havent been very present or entertaining lately #by which i mean on and off for months #am i correct or am i partially correct or reimagining things? who knows #but i keep having so many things i want to do it just keeps on going #i'm starting with commissions now #BUT THEN!! #haha yeah i hope you are having a great November and enjoy this piece!! #sending hugs <3 if you like them if not #a gentle wave from a far

[uncanny-tranny]

At this point, gender nonconformity is about what the person says their experience is.

If a woman with a beard or a man with lipstick and a mustache says they're gender nonconforming, then they are! If a woman with short hair or a man with long hair says they aren't, they aren't! And that's not even getting into the awesome nonbinary, abinary, genderqueer, intersex, and general genderfuckery that may both be and not be conforming.

So much of what is even considered gender conforming or gender nonconforming is based on a world of exclusion. When we start defining one's conformity with whether they fit into white cishetero perisex standards or not, we play into the idea that there's only a very narrow window of what is considered worthy of time and thought.

#gender nonconformity #gnc #queer #like. for instance a native man who keeps long hair might be considered GNC by white standards but for him it's absolutely not nonconformit #there's an aspect of white supremacy that silences everything else while saying that other culture's silence is indicative of whiteness... #...being 'correct' or 'moral' or 'neutral' #and as somebody who's trans and last i checked white i have my own thoughts from my own experiences #like how i don't consider myself to really be a GNC man. i'm just. man+ #i'm a weird concoction of weird soup that tastes like a man but if it were Wrong #and i just don't see that as not conforming to manhood like it is seperate. i see it as irrevocably linked TO manhood #it is others who have excluded and exiled me from manhood because of *their* understanding of me and how i 'fit in' in cissexism #while i will never ever say i know what it's like to not be white i will say these conversations that PoC have started have been INVALUABLE #i am forever grateful to have been extended the patience and faith to listen in on the experiences of people... #...who are racialized in terms of gender and how they do/don't 'fit in' with often white supremacist views on gender/dynamics #may have made a post like this years back but. eh. arrest me officer i will not back down #i've been more and more 'gnc' as i go into my transition and i don't see it as nonconformity but as an outlet for my masculinity #which is why i'm not insecure about my crafts and creations. because it is coming from a male whether or not it's considered 'manly' #i have little to *no place* in cissexist society so why should i put any stakes into if they ~accept~ me #made this post while jamming out to skyrim's tavern OST (paused my game to write this) #why the HELL does the skyrim tavern music have to go SO HARD. i NEED to slam down BARRELS of mead while listening to this istg #i don't even LIKE honey so i haven't tried mead but. for skyrim i would.

[30-3am]

the gasp i gasped when i opened pinterest and saw these.

#alana's thoughts #metallica #james hetfield #james my beloved #papa het #metal #80s metal #ahhhhhhjgru wefiglewi #HES SO ANNOYING #WHY IS HE SO FUCKING #UGH #man i'm gonna actually go feral #i can't keep doing this #i am clutching at my chest trying to stop myself having a heart attack #he's perfect #he's gorgeous #i need him.

[melatien]

tiny yoichi (unwillingly) lures out soldiers by being his helplessness little self so his brother can strike

#bases are the most reliable way to find food afo found! #yoichi is crying bcuz he pitys them <3 #not because hes nervous #im gonna be honest i made this idea up on the spot when drawing this #pewdiepies new art video awakened something in me I NEEDED TO REMIND MYSELF I CAN STIL DRAW BANGERS TOO #i didnt disappoint myself!!!! competitiveness is my enemy and my bestie literally #anyways his right eye was an absolute horrendous nightmare to draw it was going so well until i did the hair then it ruined the eye #i actually thought yoichi was wearing shoes at this age but then i looked back at those chapters and realised yoichi was shoeless #WITH ONLY A BANDAGE ON HIS FOOT??!?!!?!? agony #can yoichi not make me wish he had something good in life for ONE SECOND #think of this as like how he responded to afo killing those people that (presumably) beat yoichi up beforehand #we dont know if hes crying because his brother is killing or if he was crying before being 'saved' #ill try do some fluff art soon ive been really interested in body horror related art lately so i wanted to play around!!! #i have a BUNCH of ideas written down ive yet to do #i just keep doing whatever i feel like #i am the master of ignoring the instructions and winging it #mha #my art #yoichi shigaraki #one for all #my hero academia #first ofa user #shigaraki yoichi #mha yoichi #tiny yoichi #tiny yoichi in his shabby little clothes #ive actually been dying to draw tiny yoichi again but KIDS ARE SO HARD TO DRAW!!!!! #i had an art moment though #HALLEJUHAH #art gods had my back fr

[ilovedthestars]

I am having many many thoughts about Hands of the Emperor, but here is one before I go to sleep:

this sounds very silly, but i am eighty-odd pages into this book and almost nothing has happened, technically. The main characters are going on a vacation. It is a fairly significant part of this that the Emperor has never done so much nothing at once before. Travel arrangements have been made, social interactions had, various vacation activities enjoyed, but on a literal level there is no large plot moving forward.

AND YET. I am up late reading this already, and I want to stay up later. I want to keep reading. Because even if on the surface, not much is going on, the emotional depths that this book has already gone to are incredibly compelling.

The main character is watching the man he serves as emperor and reveres as a god, a man he cares for deeply, slowly remember that despite being an emperor and a god he is also a person, and find enormous joy in getting to be just that. The main character has been overcome with emotion multiple times by seeing his emperor smiling with great pleasure at things like a casual conversation, or watching the rain, or tuning a harp with his own hands. I am overcome with emotion too.

I don’t know if the pace will pick up at some point, but I genuinely think even if it doesn’t, I could read seven hundred pages of this, just on the strength of what it’s making me feel.

#stars has thoughts #the hands of the emperor #I am incredibly impressed with this in so many ways #and I am also enjoying myself immensely #which is the best combination of experiences to have with a new piece of media #this book was made for me I swear. there are so many ingredients in here that show up in all my favorite stories #including the ones I write myself #I sincerely hope it keeps being this good and if it does it is going to become a favorite of mine #stars reads lays

[yumemiruuuu]

“Heaven Official’s Blessing moments that plague my mind like how the Human Face Disease plagued Jun Wu”

Xie Lian waking up, with no recollection of his last 800 years, in panic because he’s covered in hickeys and BITE MARKS (to which he swears he’s been violated by the “mysterious man”)

Mei Nianqing and his commentaries (most notably: “fluffy child” in reference to Quan Yizhen, and “He’s been STALKING YOU FOR 800 YEARS! Ew, too creepy!!” in reference to Hua Cheng)

Qi Rong spitting on the palace floor and vandalizing the walls with “GREAT GHOST KING QI RONG WAS HERE!!”

Qi Rong insulting Xie Lian and Hua Cheng with “DOG FUCKED XIE LIAN” and “DOG HUA CHENG” … which somehow makes perfect sense together

Qi Rong dragging Hong-er in a bag tied to a horse

“CAN’T YOU KNOCK LIKE A NORMAL PERSON?!” exclaimed Qi Rong, the abnormal green gremlin cannibal

Qi Rong having a massive cleavage in the donghua:

Xie Lian taking down Jun Wu, a GOD who literally couldn’t be taken down even with THREE MARTIAL GODS AND A GHOST KING, by body slamming him against a rock wall.

When Hua Cheng put on a little outfit changing show for Xie Lian like a disco ball because he was bored

Xie Lian, after 800 years, finding someone who would listen to him and care for him like no one else have and show him what it means to simply be happy and find joy in living (Hua Cheng)

#hi yes i am not okay i have so many thoughts of this series it’s insane #i cry myself to sleep thinking about them #the fact that half of this was just Qi Rong 💀 💀 ��� #Qi Rong plagues my mind like chlamydia #天官赐福 #tgcf #heaven official's blessing #tian guan ci fu #the tgcf brainrot keeps brainrotting #hualian #xie lian #hua cheng #qi rong #wow river has thoughts??? amazing. incredible. truly awe-inspiring.

[kayvsworld]

thank u for the drawing suggestion @ayapandagirl..... mr knight sir we are thinking abt u <3

#edit: i had a screenshot of the suggestion but tumblr fucking obliterated it with resizing holy shit #trying to decide if i should rewatch the show bc i STILL dont know if i liked it #marc is my bestie tho. love that dude. i too am having problems at all times constantly :) #i think what tripped me up was that i read a couple comics to prep myself and then they were like ''meet steven'' and i was like. no #im in the no-taste minority that does in fact think most character intros to the mcu should b origin stories pls keep me in ur thoughts </3 #mine #moon knight #marvel art #etc

[im-no-jedi]

boy he sure uhh, he sure does know how to just stand there, huh 🥴

#the bad batch #star wars the bad batch #tbb season 2 #sergeant hunter #hunter tbb #tbb hunter #arms: crossed #hips: leaned #waist: SNATCHED #I am thinking many MANY thoughts #be glad I'm keeping them to myself ROFL #I love my handsome angy dorito husband #he really do be lookin like a space cowboy in this fit #and I am NOT complaining #my dark and broody bandana man #star warz #tbb spoilers

[verysadghostieinacloset]

ACTUALLY BioShock is just homosexuality and misery masquerading as first person shooter games. </33

#I keep spoiling BioShock 2 for myself #guhh it sounds so goodddd #I need to replay BioShock 1 though #every time I think of some of the characters I frown #they’re so sad #it’s a school night and here I am #sad thoughts over fictional people #specifically Delta atm #from what I’ve heard of him- that guy deserves so much better #and Jack!! #Jack my baby hen ): #bioshock #bioshock 1 #Bioshock 2 #fandom thoughts #teehee

[blujayonthewing]

pitched battle inside my brain between the part of me that's desperately shaking myself by the shoulders going "YOU HAVE GOT TO ACTUALLY LIVE THE KIND OF LIFE YOU IMAGINE INSTEAD OF JUST SITTING AROUND IMAGINING IT UNTIL YOU DIE!!" and the part of me that's clutching my face going "is this allowed? is this allowed?? is this allowed???"

#trying to plan a solo cicada pilgrimage and getting brainworms about it yeehaw #'making a lot of plans and never actually doing things in real life' has been a problem for literally as long as I can remember #but I also feel like I've developed a learned helplessness over the last several years that's gotten worse as I've gotten older?? #me age twenty: I think I'm gonna take myself to chicago next week because I feel like going to the zoo #me age thirty: am I allowed to go camping alone. am I allowed to do a solo road trip. I need a grownup #to be extremely clear I am very much allowed and this is not justin's fault and I don't know where it comes from #like I'll run things by him lowkey seeking 'permission' that I don't even need and he'll be like 'yeah that sounds good to me' #and then I STILL won't do the thing because like. my brain keeps insisting there needs to be a grownup in charge?? HELLO I'M GROWNUP #anyway I'm doing cicada trip solo BECAUSE-- the drive is so long I want to do five days because two of them will just be driving #and he can't get that much time off work right now #AND because I literally only want to Be Camping and Looking At Bugs but he'd get bored of a week of that he likes Activities #me this morning getting insecure and weird: what are your thoughts... on cicada voyage.... #him after at first not even understanding the question: I'm SO excited for you?? you deserve to get to go absolutely feral??? #I do.... ;n; 💕 why am I so scared to be a person....... #about me #cicada journey

[puppyeared]

i wanna post my skip to loafer art but i cant do it knowing ppl are gonna put it on tiktok and pinterest bc itd be like. bringing an invasive species ykwim

#my meds just kicked in so im feeling talkative but truly idk how to explain it #its like. with anything else id be more than happy to introduce it to ppl like monkie kid and mp100. witch hat maybe but its personal to me #but skip to loafer is special to me. and i feel bad for saying this bc other ppl do deserve to watch smth they will enjoy #hell the reason i got into it was bc my friend was kind enough to lend me her copy and i got hooked #its so ironic im saying this esp given how insecure i am abt depicting characters wrong. but i really dont want to look thru the tags #and see them on a 'can i copy your homework' tier list. or ppl getting mad abt why egashira mitsumi and shima cant just be a throuple #its just!! i wont stop you if thats how you like to engage with the show or how you interpret it bc ill just ignore it and leave u alone!! #and theres no objective wrong way of doing it!! and i know that interacting with the work is what forms a community after all!! #but keeping it tight knit is just easier for me bc nobody has to worry abt making each other laugh and we can enjoy it for what it is #fully aware im saying this as someone whos drawn monkie kid art with text post memes and owl house draw the squad templates #but at the same time i just. dont want to explain myself or give ppl reasons why shima and mitsumi are ace coded just bc it 'feels right' #fandom is a communal thing and it feels so hypocritical thinking this. too many conflictng thoughts that idk what to act on #yapping