#I am not for everyone

[theredtours]

why yes I AM making boop gifs from screen recording

#they're transparent and i'll post them when I am finished. #I won't even tag them because everyone should have them #boop #text

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Knowledge Revenge.

#dungeon meshi #chilchuk tims #senshi #Somewhat of an unofficial sequel to the Dragon Comic. I promise I have more versatility in my jokes. I just had to take this opportunity. #Senshi is pretty much a recluse. I think he would know a few of these 'gottems' but not all. #Chilchuck would know gottems that are nearly lost to time. The deep cuts. The ones that you fall for because they are that obscure. #I would also like to take a moment to confess that after the last comic in which I posed a gottem - #I fell victim to a Mind Goblin Attack. I was thoroughly got. I will be on higher alert this time. #So NOBODY be funny in the tags. I am gullible and I like to share things with my friends. Who are *ruthless*. #I have a mild resistance to Vicious Mockery at this point but I can only take so much. #Happy Thistle Thursday Everyone! See you next week!

[bisexualvader]

#haven't made a shitpost in so long i need to remind everyone that i am a clown #star wars #luke skywalker #darth vader #anakin skywalker #sw memes #star wars memes #star wars shitpost #return of the jedi #aaphra's stuff #sw crack #incorrect star wars quotes #incorrect quotes

[transannabeth]

if you opened discord’s april fools day loot boxes how long did it take you to get all the items? it took my friend 18 boxes but me 65 and i want to see how bad my luck is

#not pjo #chitter chatter #sixty five is too many but I wanna know how much a clown I am vs everyone else #polls #discord #for anyone looking at the tags: yes that first one is wrong #you have to open 9 boxes at least #but you cannot edit polls and here we are #100 #1000 #🧍

[spyglassrealms]

had a fucking hilarious dream that tumblr replaced the "block" function with the far funnier "glock" function, which did the exact same thing except whenever anyone blocked you a random bullet hole, like a png of a bullet hole, would appear on your blog. discourse blogs were unreadable bc you'd go to the page and the sheer amount of bullet hole pngs stacked over the blogs obscured everything. I woke myself up laughing

#normally I don't chronicle my dreams here but fucking hell that one was funny #I think this would genuinely make tumblr better tbh #@ staff do this cowards #spy has thoughts #my life is a sitcom and i am my own laugh track #functional website #spy's smash hits #Glock function #edit for everyone in the notes saying 'everyone clapped' #I know I can't prove to you that it happened for real you're just gonna have to trust me on this #but I swear on my goddamn life I'm not making this up #I make so many conscious puns that sometimes my subconscious cooks up a real good one

[oasisr]

after hearing "simply having a wonderful christmas time" by paul mccartney 74 times while working in retail, I came to the conclusion that they shot the wrong beatle

#meme #christmas #Christmas music #paul mccartney #the beatles #beatles #dark humor #retail #fast food #work #job #seasonal #seasonal worker #funny #lol #yes i am using a lot of tags because i want everyone to see this and laugh with me #welcome to the comedy of hate

[weatherbane]

halsin: -mermaid hair flip- everyone else: pathetic bleating

#halsin #bg3 #bg3 art #bg3 fanart #astarion #shadowheart #lae'zel #wyll #i am included in this everyone else scenario #man has no right making me feel the way he does #my ocs #tav: sevinna #weatherdraws

[aueua]

people with siblings: how do you feel about them?

#[.txt] #just. a bit curious #e: I see... thank you for the answers so far; it's interesting to hear as someone who's an only child #i suppose i should have phrased this as: if you have them - how do you feel about your siblings? #i am aware most answers can be boiled down to being complicated; even so it has been nice to hear from everyone of different circumstances #i hope that your day is well.

[trek-tracks]

When a student copies an essay online instead of writing it and then painstakingly changes every word to a synonym until the text no longer makes any sense...

call that the Ship of Thesaurus

#not trek #my life #professor life #teacher life #ship of theseus #ship of thesaurus #i am on a constant crusade to prevent this from happening #it's just a bad time for everyone involved

[libertineprophet]

your take is worth an unfollow but only bc I was reminded of your tumblr when you posted it

enjoy ur freedom anon ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

#replies #i am not for Everyone

[stalebagels]

Edit: muted this monstrosity but if you're looking for the blank template it's on my blog and I'll tag this and it with "the stupid fucking shorts post" so you don't have to scroll through everything 💀😂 (I did not make the template btw, I don't know who the OP is but if you do please let me know)

#the stupid fucking shorts post #everyone asking about Trevor i am sorry but I've never watched him 💀 #stephen colbert #john oliver #jimmy kimmel #seth meyers #conan o'brien #craig ferguson #jon stewart #strike force five #strike force memes #strike force #last week tonight #the late show with stephen colbert #the late show #the late late show #conan #conan o'brien needs a friend #late night with conan o'brien #late night with seth meyers #jimmy kimmel live #the daily show with jon stewart #the problem with jon stewart #the jon stewart show #the colbert report #meme #late night #late night hosts #comedians in queues

[androdragynous]

as my own direct immediate list of game grievances i hate that stardew valley expects you to side against a wheelchair user who is upset that he was moved without his consent. i hate that the mass effect trilogy gives you visible scarring as a direct result of choosing mean dialogue and heals it if you're nice. i hate that the vampire the masquerade ttrpg has a monstrous player class that can appear as horrible vampiric monsters or as visibly disabled people and both of these appearances are mechanically the same. i hate that dark souls games have a difficulty level implemented in a way that cannot be adjusted for disability. i hate that i can play as a mermaid or a werewolf or a horse in the sims games but can't use a wheelchair. i hate that the ace attorney games have so much flashing and not all of the games can disable it. i hate that disability is constantly something that happens to teach a lesson, i hate that disability is something that happens as a punishment, i hate that disability is either compensated perfectly with no drawbacks or something that is endlessly sought to be cured. i hate that no character customization will ever include the mobility aids i use, that the player avatars that represent me will never look like me. i am so goddamn annoyed and so goddamn tired.

#this is about disability specifically i know there are lackluster diversity options across all marginalized identities #i am talking about this one because it is pissing me off specifically right now. #and this is not about modding. not all games are pc and not every pc game is moddable and not everyone knows how to mod. #patch me through to palaven command

[shadow-tism]

Please do your daily click!

This is a great way for people without any funds or no ways to contact their representatives can help out!! 🍉🍉🍉 (link below)

Free Palestine

#free palestine #hey guys I am going to q this post to reblog daily #just to remind everyone to click

[inkskinned]

the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.

sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.

you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.

it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.

but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.

they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.

they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.

barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.

and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.

but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.

they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!

this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.

#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone #yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post. #writeblr #ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person #and on this blog we support workers. #at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going. #when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens #have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists #and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like. #it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases - #at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory. #it was what i had seen. #and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference #we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol' #so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender #and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID. #he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different #i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.

[elminster-big-naturals]

when its 4am and the whole squad is zooted out their gourds trying to read the overhead menu in mcdonalds

#baldur's gate 3 #i've been them all #wyll: the smell of dirty fry oil is making him green out #astarion: 100% of his energy is dedicated to keeping his face perfectly neutral. he hasn't said or heard a word since they left camp #lae'zel: wait. where do my arms go. how do i noramlly hold my arms. what. am i supposed to do with my arms??? ogh god everyone knows im hig #anthrael: has been trying to read the menu for 13 minutes now but the pictures on the screens keep changing too fast

[teaboot]

how could you like the colour yellow

see a therapist immediately

I actually used to hate it! Like, actually despise it! Yellow was too bright, too loud, discordant, unruly, and clashed with everything. Nothing like what I wanted in my life, nothing I wanted to be.

When I first moved away from home, everything I owned was black. Jet back. As black as I could get. Smooth, cool, sleek, discrete, calm, unassuming. Flexible, cohesive, agreeable black. Fashionable black.

I had a really, really bad time. Unrelated to the decor. It was my first year out of a toxic place I'd grown used to my whole life, my first year acknowledging a mental illness I'd believed to be normal, my first year fending for myself with very little money or sleep or companionship.

I'd grown up on instant white rice and unseasoned ground beef. One day I realized that everything I'd been raised on tasted like cardboard. While out on an assignment, I passed a tent with a woman selling spices, and bought myself some turmeric. I went home and tried making curry with it. It was so yellow.

Another time, my professor took us out to a modern art gallery. I wasn't sure what I was expecting, but when we got there, the whole building had been painted bright sunshine yellow.

The artist's theme was "happiness".

What it is. How we make it. How to share it.

All bright, lovely yellow.

The house I grew up in was beige. The walls were white. The appliances were post 9/11 stainless steel. My job was to be quiet, compliant, presentable and agreeable.

Black goes with everything. Black is neutral. Black is quiet, reserved, elegant and mysterious.

Yellow is warm. Yellow does what it wants. Yellow tastes sweet and spicy and hot and cool, like a summer breeze, like sunflower petals, powdery like dust on a long dirt road and soothing like well-worn linen.

I still like the look of black. I like the look of most colors. But I like the way that Yellow makes me feel.

Do you understand?

#So anyway #I like yellow now #Lol #Teaboot #Oh and yeah I actually am in therapy so good call #This is all in good fun please everyone be nice