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#I am not going to break that spell

emily-mooon · 30 days

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Imagine if Stacey and Neil actually met in high school except they didn’t go to the same school: they met through Kid Chameleon.

One night, Scott brings Stacey to one of their shows and it just so happens that Stephanie (or Steph) brought Neil with her.

Since they were both the youngest people there (Neil’s 17, Stacey’s 16 till December), they decided to talk to each other and they hit it off.

Stacey also develops a bit of a crush on Neil and would always ask Scott if Steph was going to bring her brother with her again, as she wanted to see him and didn’t know if there was another way.

Then one morning, she discovers that they take the same TTC bus and from then on they talk before and after school and become sorta friends. At this point, Neil also starts developing a crush on her.

Things stayed like that for about two months until Neil and his mom moved places (as I agree with the headcanon that the Nordegraf siblings have divorced parents) so they would no longer take the same bus in the morning or after school. They still have Kid Chameleon shows to meet up and talk at right? Ha ha wrong cause at New Years, the famous break up between Scott and Envy happens which in turn, also breaks up the band.

That whole break up was the nail in the coffin that strained Neil and Stacey’s kinda friendship. They didn’t have the others phone number cause they were both too shy to ask and also cause they both kept forgetting.

There also wasn’t a whole ton of opportunities to ask either of their siblings for their phone numbers so they just gave up and went on with their lives.

But then why didn’t they recognize the other in the like three times there were in the same room together? Easy answer: Stacey was distracted by everything around her to even notice Neil, who in turn, was slowly disappearing into the crowd and fully did by the time it was Lisa’s going away dinner.

So when they see each other again properly at the Chaos Theater, something clicks and they fall back into where they once were two years ago. To them it felt like a decade, but no it was just two years. They catch up on what they missed in the others lives on the walk home.

After that these dorks start dating cause the feelings were still there, just buried deep, left dormant, and forgotten. They came back but slightly different as people change.

#and that’s it!#this idea has been cooking for a little bit btw #i am an au fiend and this gets added to my long list #I have another idea where neil lives on the east coast with his mom but spent Christmas with his dad and Stephanie #he also says he’ll come visit Stacey during March break but since kid chameleon broke up after Scott and envy broke up #he didn’t get to (also cause he went on a trip with his mom instead)#the drama is there but I think I’m the only person who headcanons that Neil has family on the east coast sooooo #or hey how about he moves there with his mom since she wanted to be closer to her family #that’s another alternative #anyways try to pry this au headcanon from my cold dead hands #i love it sm #apologies if some things sound cliche deep down I’m a romantic at heart and I’m such a sucker for ppl meeting again after not seeing the #other for awhile #also sorry for any spelling mistakes it’s late at night and I should go to bed now so gn!#scott pilgrim #scott pilgrim comic #young neil #neil nordegraf #stacey pilgrim #nordegrim #emilys headcanons #emilys long list of aus #i guess this counts as canon divergent too #long post #cause it is kinda long ngl

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am-i-tho · 5 months

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hate reading fanfic where they have to demonize women in favor of the mlm ship literally stfu why would Mrs. Hudson say "that woman" SHE IS A WOMAN GIRL

the only time people do it right is when addressing the very obvious flaws Mary's character has- it being that she is selfish and even after seeing John deal with grief in real time during the 2 years he spent away, she still was willing to shot Sherlock and actually kill him for real this time. And does this because of course in her old line of work and living her old life demanded it from her and of course it makes a person have a different perspective in what a life costs. And John is the same!!! He killed a man for Sherlock 1 day after meeting him!!! He's a soldier!!!

At the time, Sherlock was as much as threat to her lifestyle as Magnussem bc both of them now had her secret and that's why she did it. And, at the time, the cabbie was the Enemy to John and represented a threat to someone on "his team"(or the very concept he was fighting for or was loyal to).

Mary kills to protect herself, whatever she is fighting for. John kills "bad guys", kills to protect people. He's a doctor. Sherlock kills after there's no other option, he killed a man for John.

There's so much to explore here!!! Mary isn't just a throw away concept bc she gets in the way of Johnlock, her very existence in John's life is already so telling and interesting

(John is addicted to a certain lifestyle and Sherlock provided that > after he is gone he meets Mary and convinces himself he wants and is ready to live a normal life > except no he isn't and sherlock is alive(+Mary is the first girlfriend John has that doesn't make him choose between herself or sherlock) > sherlock throws him in a life or dead situation, forcing them to reconcile before dying > they do but oh haha it was a joke you're such a dick man we were both safe all along (sherlock shows him he can still give him that adrenaline rush and John LAUGHS afterwards) > he then throws himself entirely in the wedding planning ("if i keep him happy with her then maybe my presence won't be so unbereable") > he leaves the wedding early (+theres a baby on the way!) > they don't speak for months, sherlock goes back to drugs, John distorts a junkie's arm > john's wife is actually an ex-assassin who used to work for the government > she tries to kill sherlock > they all have a row > sherlock pleads john to forgive her > he does > sherlock kills Magnussem > he's exiled > tarmac scene, they don't even hug > has an overdose in the plane while reading John's blog entry of when they first met > dreams of John saving his life, killing the personification of everything he fears > he comes back! > waiting for something to happen, doing so much all the time trying to make most of his time before something big happens > the baby is born> > John "cheats" on Mary > Mary dies, saving Sherlock's life > John blames him > they don't speak anymore > sherlock is back on drugs almost dying bc a Mary told him to do so in a message + John talks to "her ghost" constantly > John beats Sherlock in the hospital > John is saying goodbye > he sees Mary's message > he saves Sherlocks life > they talk and John cries "it is what it is" > Eurus plot yada yada > "this is family" "that's why he stays" + mycroft, moriarty and sherlock know who sherlock would choose between mycroft and john > Victor Trevor parallels > happily ever after (?) They're raising Rosie together)

#going crazy in my week break from school sorry #sherlock bbc #johnlock #long ass post and full of spelling errors but whatever its 2:40 am and english isnt my first language #theres no good fanfictions anymore!!#also i want read more stuff exploring mycroft and sherlock growing up together #WHATEVER!!!!! BYE #(also more sherlock and molly becoming friends)#“mary sucks” sure but not bc shes a woman or bc she is john's wife

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aaaaaaaaagenloser · 5 months

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(Tw: kinda transphobia? Use of it/its for a character who hasn’t declared what their pronouns are yet. Arguments over whether a character is a person or not; that ties into the pronoun thing here. Bonus points for descriptions of canon-typical gore yipeeee)

An update from after writing this: oh this. Got. This one got away from me?? I think I started this at 4 minutes past the hour. It is now 43 minutes past the hour. shitt.

Update; it is now 17 minutes after the NEXT hour. 26 minutes after th last update. I have seen god in the past hour and she shook in fear of both my power and audacity. I have lunch with my family scheduled in like 6 hours and I have not yet slept. This wasn’t meant to be as long as it is but I was possessed and this is the result. I may edit it and make it smoother later but I’ll make that a separate post, I want this sleep-deprived chunk of words to be here as like a monument to the fact that I could have been playing stardew valley during this time but I chose to do this instead

TLDR: long ass story ahead written by a sleep-deprived and hyperfixation-driven author. Who is now going the fuck to BED

“We can’t just keep it! What if it has a tracking device? It won’t let us fucking touch it so there’s no way of knowing it has one unless it leads them right to us!”

“Ok, I hear you but think. That hasn’t happened yet. It’s been about what, three days? and that hasn’t happened, and they haven’t been violent towards any of us at all. They haven’t tried to go back either, so there’s no risk of them telling or leading Showfall where we are.”

“Why do you keep calling it ‘they’?”

“Well they can’t be an “it” now can it? …wait.”

“Ok can we figure out the gender of the thing in the other room after we figure out if it’s a threat to us or not. It’s not even a fucking person, you remember what those things did to you back there, don’t you?”

“Those people were not themselves, they were just doing what he wanted them to do—“

“They’re not fucking people! Those things are all part of Showfall, just like Hetch was! It’s just waiting for the right time to turn us in, or pull some shit on one of us like they did before.”

“They weren’t… they weren’t in control.”

“Yeah like fuck they weren’t, I saw it fucking happen!”

“You can’t just… Ok. Sneeg. Stop. You don’t speak for me, the one who, oh I don’t know, was the one that shit happened to? They were being controlled just like us—“

“No, no, not like us. We were wandering around and not knowing what the fuck was happening. None of us knew what was happening. We just went along blindly. Those things—on purpose—dragged you to that stupid wall and sewed wires into your hands—“

“Shut up, Sneeg—“

“No you shut up! You didn’t see it fucking happen! I saw them and Bitchface literally hold you down until you passed out! They were fucking choking you, they fucking—they nearly fucking killed you with just their hands, that’s not a little suggestion in the back of your brain, that’s on purpose! That is fucking deliberate, that is a thing those machines chose to do! You don’t remember, you weren’t conscious when they fucking stapled you to the wall and strapped your head in—“

Sneeg glanced at Ranboo for a moment in-between pacing as he ranted, and the far away look in their sibling’s eyes shut them up immediately. Ranboo was still present, thank fuck, but they were looking at their brother like he was holding up a knife to their throat.

“Fuck, Ran, okay, okay—I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have… shit. Do you need Charlie?”

“You don’t know when to shut the fuck up.”

“…okay. Okay. I’m sorry. Do you need me to get Charlie?”

“No, I’m fucking fine.” It did not sound like he meant that at all. His voice was less steady than before. “I don’t want him to worry about our… hitchhiker. He’s worrying enough about… well, everything.”

“The fact that it’s here, so close to us is the reason I’m trying to get you to see, Ran. What if it turns on him? What if it does that shit to him when we aren’t there?”

“We will be there.”

“And when it tries anything, we can kill it?”

“Sneeg!”

“You wouldn’t kill it, even if it hurt our fucking brother?”

“Of course we wouldn’t keep them around if they did that, could we at least just… just leave it behind? …wait, no, they couldn’t take care of themselves. If we had to leave it behind, maybe we should…”

Silence lingered for a bit too long.

“We should what, Ran?”

“…Sneeg, I was about to say that killing it would be a mercy.” The Hero laughed. “Doesn’t that sound familiar?”

The Taken didn’t reply.

“We have to help them. I don’t… I don’t want to be on the other end of a mercy killing. I don’t want to hurt anyone anymore.”

“Okay. I’m—are you okay?”

“…m fine. It’s fine. Just. Can you stop acting like they’re any different from us? Please.”

“What do you want me to think then?” His voice was softer than it had been a few minutes before.

“Just assume that they… that they were someone. Just like we were before. And they didn’t… they didn’t do anything on their own, it was all Showfall.”

“Okay. Fine. Let’s assume they were controlled, they didn’t mean to, so on and so forth. Why haven’t they talked yet.”

“I don’t think any of the drones even could talk. Wait, should we really be calling them a drone—“

“Shut the fuck up, Ranboo, we have got to figure out what to do with it. It probably doesn’t even know what is happening, what the fuck does it matter what we call it.”

“It matters to me! Do you want me to call you by your title? Do you want to call me by mine? …No? Then why are we treating them like all they are is what Showfall made them? We had lives before, we were someone, so they must have been too. They might not realize it, or… or act like it, but they used to be someone. They are a whole person, Sneeg. We have to help them, we can’t just leave them behind because that would mean we are giving up on someone just like us, and we cannot give up on each other. They… they would have hurt us by now if they were going to. And Showfall hasn’t found us since… you know, which means there aren’t any more trackers.

…okay, Sneeg?”

“…okay. If it,” he sighed at the look Ran gave them, “if they try anything, we have to leave them behind. I’m not letting a dumbass puppet be the reason we get taken back.”

“If they—ok, whatever, you’re not understanding. You can’t say one of us somehow wanted to be controlled, and they’re a ‘puppet’ but those rules don’t apply to the rest of us—“

“There is not an ‘us,’ Ran! That thing isn’t like us!”

“Guys?”

A sleepy voice shut the two of them up instantly. They had a split-second conversation with their eyes before looking to their brother. ‘We aren’t done talking about this’ ‘You’e absolutely right, so later?’ ‘Later.’ ‘We’re telling Charlie nothing happened?’ ‘Of course.’ ‘Ok good plan.’

“Why are you two fighting? I’m tired, can we please go back to sleep?”

“We weren’t fighting, we were…”

“…talking about plans for tomorrow. And you can go back to sleep.”

“I don’t want to be by myself.” Charlie looked at Sneeg pointedly, who sighed to Ranboo with a playfully annoyed expression.

“Well I guess I gotta go be a teddy bear again.”

“Have fun”

“Absolutely not.”

Charlie punched Sneeg in the shoulder lightly for that, who just giggled in response and led his little brother back to their room.

Which left Ran by themselves.

Some nights, he would join them, but some nights Charlie couldn’t stand to be anywhere near Ran, and the three of them had made a silent mutual agreement that Charlie trusted Sneeg more than he did Ranboo.

…Ranboo was okay with this. He wasn’t hurt by it. He didn’t cry on the nights he slept by himself.

He didn’t wish he could be the one Sneeg comforted sometimes. They were just fine.

They were fine, which is why they went to the living room where their… well. Their hitchhiker? They weren’t exactly a brother, or a sibling, more like a fourth wheel on a tricycle. Or a flyaway hair. Okay, maybe Ranboo needed to get tbr fuck to sleep, alone or not.

But he found himself in the living room, where their hitchhiker slept. Or, didn’t sleep, as they seemed to not need to. They would sit on the couch and stare idly at the tv. That was what had started the whole conversation with Sneeg in the first place; Ran wanted to leave some kind of entertainment for the fourth person so they wouldn’t be made to sit in the dark for hours. Sneeg took this remark as a perfect opportunity to explain all the reasons why the former drone should be abandoned, but Ranboo would have fucking none of it. Maybe the couch potato (shit, he really needed to come up with a name for them—) didn’t seem to sleep, barely ate, and stayed still unless actually verbally told to move, but they were still a person. Ranboo was sure of it.

Their hand wandered up to the fresh scabs where their mask had been. The fourth person had a mask, one that hadn’t been touched. Despite usually staying still, the person—(Ranboo thinks they might just call this person Couch for now. Maybe it’s not accurate, and they’re tired, but it’s something. C, for short.)

C would back away any time the others would try to get near them. And they did in fact try, but despite how creative or sneaky they got, C always ducked away. It reminded Ranboo of the drone who had followed them with a camera, always one step away and never letting the Hero get too close.

The mask turned to Ranboo, who stared back quietly. C hadn’t talked at all, so Ranboo didn’t expect them to suddenly start now. He wasn’t even sure if they understood what was said to them, but Ranboo wanted to try anyways. Better to be polite.

“Do you like the show that’s on? I think it’s called Lucy, or something. I don’t know, Sneeg said it was funny. And it didn’t seem, uh- scary or anything.”

The mask didn’t speak.

“If you want to change it, the remote’s right there, um, I showed you how to use it before. And there’s like, instructions drawn on there. You can thank Charlie for that one.”

…

“I think I’m going to head to bed.”

…

“Fuck it, can I stay here?”

The mask still didn’t speak, but the head hidden behind it tilted a bit at the sudden change in tone. Ranboo took this as an absolute win.

“So I just. I don’t want to be by myself. And I don’t think you sleep, I mean if you just sleep when everyone else is asleep that’s cool, but also if so how do you even? function? on that much sleep? It really isn’t that much but to be fair you don’t do much so maybe you don’t need it. …do you sleep sitting up? And just somehow wake up when we get close? I know, um. Sorry about that, again, we were just worried your mask had a tracker like mine used to.”

Ran laughed nervously. “I think I did convince them that it doesn’t, so that should stop now. If um. If we make you uncomfortable you still don’t have to be touched, it’s, it’s fine.”

Other than the head tilt before, there wasn’t a reply.

“Okay, since. You can’t talk, I’m just gonna… I’ll sit down beside you. On the couch. And if you don’t want me to be that close you can uh- you can leave. Or like, get up, and then I’ll leave. This is the only room with a tv, so I’ll let you stay here, but I can’t tell if you want me to be here or not, so. Okay, sorry, I’m rambling. Just… move if you want me to leave, okay?”

Ranboo waited for a response that didn’t come, then sighed. “Okay.” He kept his hands up and open while sitting down, waiting for a few moments before tucking his feet under himself to get more comfortable. “I’m just gonna stay here, okay? Like I said, just move if you want me to leave.”

The mask had tracked them to where they sat now, but the person—C—didn’t make a move to leave. Ranboo turned their attention to the tv, keeping an eye on their couch partner in their peripheral vision. During a moment of audience laughter in the show—I Love Lucy, they remembered—C turned their head back to the television as they had been before Ranboo walked in.

Seeing as how C (they needed a better name than that—) didn’t speak, this was the closest Ranboo could get to being told “you can stay here.” So they did. A few episodes later, his head was on the arm of the couch and his eyes were closed.

Five turned its attention to the Hero, who was now asleep. He had said it was a person, which was almost hilarious. And the Taken and the Hero seemed to think it couldn’t talk? They had to know it needed to be given permission first: any handler of a Drone or Prop knew that basic rule. It would wait until permission was given: it knew how to obey. It wasn’t meant to speak to a superior unless it was told it was allowed. It would wait.

…in the meantime, it studied its handler, the Hero. The other Actors, their two other handlers, called him ‘Ranboo’ but Five knew that wasn’t his actual label. The Hero was his character in the last show, and so that is who he was. Five didn’t know if Actors had a number, but he had been called the Hero in the script, and so the Hero he will be until the script changes.

It hoped to get new instructions, a new script for itself, something, soon. It was tired of simply watching the Actors go about their incredibly off-script show. It was sometimes told to participate, and since no other superiors were nearby, it had to obey its current handlers. But it was told to participate, to stir eggs, to help clean the kitchen, to attack small webs in corners with a stick with soft spikes on the end. Those sorts of things weren’t it’s usual directive, and so it found itself…

It didn’t resent its handlers. They were doing their best, and they at least knew that they were meant to give it orders. It simply wished they were familiar orders. It wished the Hero had told it to play dead, or play chase, or play camera, or caught, or prop. It would even listen if it was told to power down until needed. At least then it wouldn’t have to be conscious in this boring and unfamiliar set.

Y EA I know they probably don’t like tvs. Shhhhhh. I didn’t think about that until like. I had already written the tv part. At this moment it is 55 minutes past th hour and I want these characters to go the fuck to sleep so I can go thr fuck to sleep /lh

And yeah Five only uses “he” for glran. That is intentional. It’ll be talked about and shit later. Something about being put into a role, something about showfall being transphobic, something something I want to go to bed

Powering down = “sleeping” for a drone. Different but similar. I’ll explain how it works later?, anyway The others hav e told Five to “sleep” but it doesn’t understand because it is only ever told to “power down” so it’s like error.sleep_not_found and it stares at them like “bitch you said the wrong. Thing. You’re supposed to know how to control me so you don’t want me to power down I fucking guess” and it’s gonna be really funny after that miscommunication is taken care of.

If you remember the Five Gets A Cold And Wants To Throw Hands With Everyone post, this is wayyy before that. These motherfuckers are fresh out of showfall. Don’t ask how they got a house. I’ll figure it out

I am! Tired! I’m not proofreading this!! Goodnight please give me your thoughts if you have them. I need to know I didn’t sacrifice tbis much sleep in vain /nf /lh (I appreciate words but you are Not required to give them. Love you have a good nigt/p)

#five the genloss blorbo #let’s not talk about how many tries it took me to spell unobserved. let’s simplynot #update like 5 years into me writing this: i also cannot spell the word peepohe it would seem #that. that was meant to be the word People. you can see m #h my point stands #it is late as fuck yet I Have to make this. it has to exist so I must make it exist #I’m hamilton writing like I’m running out of time but I’m writing g #writing 51 essays in which assorted characters get the physical and/or emotional shit beaten out of them #and me running out of time is running out of sleepy. I am a sleep y man #take a break and get away says my pillow. I am Hamilton my pillow is upstate and this goddam mess of a short story I am trying to write is M #this story is Mariah Reyndolds leading me to her bed .#I haven’t slept in a while and I’m hyperfixationed on Hamilton so that metaphor makes. 0 sense #if you’re reading this far I’m so sorry. have a cookie! and fun fact an old lady held my hand and s #she said my (Very Androgynous!!) haircut is perfect. she used those words #i almost cried right then and there. genuine compliments from people make my fucking day . ok I need to go back to editing thisthing now #I wrote it. changed a plot point. started to rewrite it. changed ANOTHER plot point #so now I’ve got several s #several layers of Oh Shit I have to untangle #im. making my own goddam escape au apparently????? it won’t make any fucking sense but I will explain it later.#and! feel free to ask questions!’ and tell me if it make’s absolutely 0 sense #I do in fact want to be able to tell the story in a way you will understand. so ask questions! give a feedback! /gen /pos #I accidentally. deleted a tag so whatever I was going to say is fucking gone now. oh I think I memerbr #they are out of character ye. I’m sleepy and I’m making their escape au up as I go.#so far I have 1) the box scene was somehow Worse #2) they kidnapped Five (yippee!)#3) Charlie is the most traumatized out of the three. I don’t. I don’t know why.#I think that’s mostly because I didn’t feel like writing a conversation between Three characters. so my brain was like this :#why isn’t Charlie here? sleeping. why are these two not including him in conversation? protectiveness.#why protectiveness? he is the most upset out of the three of them and the other two have basically taken up the caretaker role. great plan #great plan hit the showers. I have reached. max tags. shit oh well back to writing tumblr says so!

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stardustedknuckles · 2 years

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Yasha’s relationship to Zuala was distinct in many ways from her relationship to Beau and I don’t mean to conflate the two necessarily, but I quite enjoyed that Zuala was every bit the playful troublemaker I hoped she’d be, the complement to a zealous and rule-abiding Yasha. Because I think that’s what Yasha glimpsed underneath Beau’s stoicism for so long - in the rare moments she let her guard down, just enough to swipe at a moment of something like enjoyment, she was very much similar. Whether it was punching Fjord, heckling Caleb, or planning chaos, the Beau Yasha saw long before Beau knew how much she was giving away was so very much like Zuala. Zuala chafed under authority in a way that never occurred to Yasha. Zuala got the two of them in trouble and grinned “worth it” and Yasha realized it was. Zuala was quicker and knew Yasha would never scratch her and Zuala was kind above all else.

So yeah. The Yasha we met may have been broken, may have gone from someone who aspired to be a great leader to someone waiting to be told what to do, but her will to live wasn’t the only thing that couldn’t be snuffed. The things she learned to love about Zuala, the parts of her Yasha kept closest and missed the most, were so much of who Beau was when she forgot to be surly and distant.

A lot of those traits were there in Jester too, and even Nott, but there was something about Beau specifically that called to Yasha even as they both kept up their guards. I have to imagine that hearing about Tori settled one of those mysteries for Yasha and simultaneously hooked her that little bit further because it wasn’t until then that either of them knew enough about the other to make any real connection. At that moment, Yasha was so quick to validate Beau when she started trying to say that it wasn’t the same as losing a wife and so on - it wasn’t the same, but it was something that clicked. An indication that on some level, Beau really did get this very specific grief because it wasn’t that they lost someone, it’s that this person was forcibly ripped from them. By a parent, a leader at that. By fate, even. It wasn’t just the grief of being without Zuala or Tori, because that’s where the difference is of wife vs maybe-girlfriend. It wasn’t about that. It was the grief that they weren’t strong enough to keep something terrible from happening to someone they cared about. Skyspear killed Zuala and saw no reason Yasha shouldn’t continue on her path. Thoreau removed Tori from Beau’s life with the same expectation that things would carry on as they had.

Idk, I just really appreciate that the same traits that got Beau rejected by her family were the traits that got Zuala killed by hers. So much of Yasha wishes she could have stopped what happened to Zuala - she had even seen it coming, if only as an anxiety - but Zuala made her choice and didn’t need Yasha to agree or to save her. I liked that she understood why Yasha would not cross Skyspear, she knew what fate Yasha feared, and she did not get upset with her. She simply said “then I will do it” and no part of that required anything of Yasha. She died knowing full well the price of breaking the rules. There was nothing for Yasha to do.

And I like how that translated to Beau in the end, because Yasha was very clear that she wanted to protect her family while also understanding that they were capable on their own. It would have been so easy to become someone who stepped in for Beau or any of them too much, to have grown into someone who overlooked the Nein’s own capabilities in the name of preventing bad things from happening to them. But I think part of learning to forgive herself for what happened to Zuala (and part of not pursuing a resurrection) was the understanding that Zuala had accepted the possible consequences before she made her choice and she made it all the same. There was nothing Yasha could have done and nothing Zuala would have asked of her. She was very clear: the risk of death was worth the reward of the change she believed in.

This whole time, by Yasha’s recollection, we have assumed there was a formal execution. Plenty of chances for Yasha to step in, to stop it (whether that was even feasible or not) only for her to run instead as her wife was killed. That last part is how Yasha saw things for a long time. But now we know - the only thing Yasha could have done differently was... overcome the years - the lifetime - of conviction that Skyspear was immutable, the brainwashing that she was chosen by the gods and the final authority, and so on. No big deal, right? Of fucking course it was a big deal - because that is what it would have taken to go with Zuala and explain this together, and that was not a reasonable request for Zuala to make of her. So she didn’t, and this too was a form of love. It would have been so easy to have had Zuala question Yasha’s commitment to their relationship, but she left to talk to Skyspear knowing exactly why Yasha could not follow and accepting that bringing about this change was her task - and it did indeed happen, but not in Skyspear. In Yasha.

And I really like that it changed Yasha so profoundly that even when she was a shell of who she’d been, part of her still recognized and was drawn to the qualities in Beau that had caused Zuala’s death - except this time, Yasha’s ready to fight for the world to know who she loves. This time, after all these months growing with the Nein and finding her new family, neither she nor Beau will be a pawn of fate. This time, all of Yasha’s choices are her own and she will choose her family and her love every single chance she gets.

#cr spoilers #Mighty Nein origins spoilers #yasha #beauyasha #zuala #the point of a resurrection is the conviction that someone's death was wrongful #and while it is true that skyspear should not have killed zuala it is also true that it was always how it was going to end #yasha did break free of her fear of skyspear - she just did it too late and was immediately crushed by the consequences for zuala #it reinforced that yasha was helpless #zuala very specifically did not ask yasha to come for protection #that was never her need #maybe it was pride and foolish to assume anything good of skyspear and maybe zuala knew she had to try anyway #i personally don't think she would have come back for a res spell and I think yasha realized that #anyway I am rambling

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micamicster · 8 months

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The thing about hwayugi was it solved the consent issues inherent in the love spell by leaning into making the whole situation worse <3 By which I mean the guy is an amoral trickster out to kill and eat her and the only defense she has is this love spell/curse that’s binding him to her and so they spend the first half of the show circling each other like two feral dogs locked in a cage of their own making all the while she knows at any minute the god she has on a leash may decide mutually assured destruction is at least her destruction and kill her anyway. and i love it <3

#and then of course it collapses like a house of cards halfway through because it is what? a hong sisters drama! but what can you do #destined with you’s problem is that it is playing this all for laughs and like don’t get me wrong! i am having fun!#it’s just that at some point we’re either going to have to reckon with how fucked up a love spell truly is #or they’re gonna have to break it fast because any longer and it’s gonna stop being a misfortune we can laugh at you know?#sorry for ranting about a drama from 6 years ago that no one remembers. but EYE remembers <3 #somebody should write a hwayugi au some time. that premise deserves more attention #hwayugi

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barrelrollgif · 9 months

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break from normal posting but this is important (TW: self harm)

tip for people who self harm by scratching themselves with their nails but want to stop:

if you cannot will yourself to stop, clip your nails really short. not short enough that your nail bed bleeds, but short enough to make scratching very difficult. (make sure you also file away any sharp edges) it might be frustrating at first, since the inability to cause pain was frustrating to me. it did help me stop though. it basically lets you have the motion without the damage.

also, another option, though it is less discrete, is wearing soft gloves. this does basically the same thing but you don’t have to clip your nails (unless they’re very long) or feel the feeling of your skin pressing against the top of your nail.

anyway, i hope things get better in your world. scratching yourself doesn’t make you bad or any less human. it is your response to stress. i will admit that self harm is an unhealthy response to stress.

i believe that you can break out of this habit. i broke out of it. it was very hard. many times i wanted to rend my legs to the bone. i gave in sometimes and scraped myself raw. but i did get out and if you start taking the little steps i believe that you can get out too. i went on the journey alone. it was terrifying. no one should ever go through this alone. please reach out if you need support. you deserve support and you are not selfish for wanting it.

#self harm #self h@rm #why is that tag with an @ this isn’t fucking tiktok people can still read that and know what that is #you won’t get canceled for not being “hush hush” about it here #tw sh #sh #tw scratching #scratching #also this shouldn’t be a hush topic #or considered to be a “oh that’s just quirky kids” thing #it isnt #but i have to use the internet words for this because i need this message to reach someone #because i am not special and my experience is probably similar to other peoples and i dont want them to be alone #so here we go…#time for slang made up to talk about this and weird spellings of the word “cut”#also keep in mind these terms feel gatekeepy like bro its still sh even if its not going deep or breaking skin #uh right tagging #tw baby cvts #tw baby cuts #i hate those terms but they apply #baby cvts #tw self harm #tw s3lf harm #yeah that should do it #btw you are deserving of love

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letsbreakhearts · 1 year

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@pacifistwithagun continued from x

While Nai was absolutely overthinking their situation, Wolfwood didn’t give it a single thought. His head was resting one one of his hands, couched over the table, as he seemingly was lost in thoughts. He didn’t mind the silence. In fact it was a welcome change to the constant chatter when Vash was around.

Closing his eyes, he even dared to wallow in it, relax for just a little while in this peacefulness before Nai had to make it awkward simply by opening his mouth. “Huh?”, was Nico’s first reaction to the gibberish coming out of the independence mouth, not fully getting the point of it, before Nai continued and it started to dawn on him. Amusement was his first reaction, laughing at the other and his awkwardness. Why was he so stiff around him?

“You are bearable too, knife thrower.”, Nico confirmed he could stand his company too at last, even with less of a mocking expression but more with a flirtatious smirk on his lips. “So you like me or something?”, he now was intrigued and felt the need to tease the other for a more in depth explanation of that sudden confession, while he was leaning over to the platinum blonde, resting his head now on both his hands and looking over the edge of his sunglasses at Nai.

#Cast the first stone at the mirror. Break the spell you put down yourself. (Nicholas D. Wolfwood)#You come and go in waves - Swallowing everything (Knivewood)#I am not half as creative comming up with petnames for Nai

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