Tumgik
#I am not too deep in the fandom yet and people have probably talked about this already.
thespiritoflife · 1 year
Text
𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗱𝗼𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗼𝗰𝗲𝗮𝗻 𝘀𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲?
fandom: ATWOW
pairing: aged up!neteyam x metkayina!deaf!female!reader
warnings: grammatical errors (feel free to tell me where i made them, please, english is not my native language), slight angst, but otherwise fluff :)
summary: fluff with slight angst, reader is deaf and she can't believe she caught neteyam's eyes 👀
A/N's note: please, pretty please, let me know if you liked it! thank you <3 and yes, neteyam is aged up, because I CAN'T BELIEVE HE IS ONLY 15 YEARS OLD, no, even i am 19 years old, so he's like 22 years old in my fic! and also, i read that na'vi people know how to write but they write with SYMBOLS, so please, imagine that they write with symbols in my fic, okay? thanks.
enjooy!🩷🫶
NOT MY PICS!!
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Ocean. Ocean during the night. Dark, deep, and full of stories. But at the same time so beautiful.
Like Y/N's eyes.
When Neteyam first saw Y/N's eyes, they reminded him of the ocean.
‿︵‿︵୨˚̣̣̣͙୧ - - ୨˚̣̣̣͙୧‿︵‿︵
Y/N was sitting on the sand, her feet deep in the sand, her gaze in the depths of the ocean.
"Come on, bro! You can't be serious! Go talk to her!” Lo'ak punched Neteyam.
"You, mighty warrior, you're afraid to talk to her? I don't believe it! I have to tell Tsireya. And Kiri. And Rotxo. And.."
Neteyam rolled his eyes. "I'm going to her, okay?! Just don't tell anyone!"
"Hmm... I'm afraid everyone already knows about it. The looks you throw at that girl are too obvious."
"Shut up!" Neteyam blushed. Damn! He wasn't as inconspicuous as he thought.
Lo'ak cheerfully gave him a thumbs up. Neteyam rolled his eyes for the hundredth time and signaled his brother to go away.
He slowly walked towards the beautiful girl.
Y/N was sad. She didn't want to be, but she was slowly getting to the age where everyone had a mate. Only she didn't. No one came to her.
And she knew very well why.
'Y/N! That's not true and you know it! You'll meet the right one someday, I promise!' she remembered what Tsireya had told her years ago. And she didn't find the right one.
"My child, Eywa knows what she's doing,' Ronal once told her as Y/N was helping her. 'Don't be sad,'
'I'm not sad. But I can't help it, sometimes it happens to me,' she sighed and continued. 'Ronal, it's probably not meant to be,'
'Don't say that!' Ronal took her hand sternly and looked into her eyes. 'Do you remember what Ìzau'ite once said? That you have a beautiful life ahead of you. That one day someone will come who will love you just the way you are,'
Y/N had tears in her eyes. 'It's just an omen, Ronal. And I'm sorry to burden you with this.'
'You never bother me, Y/N. Just believe, okay? Don't be sad.'
Don't be sad. Y/N kept repeating it to herself. Don't be sad.
She flinched when someone touched her shoulder. That rarely happened, everyone knew that Y/N liked to be not disturbed on nights like this.
She turned and saw Neteyam. She smiled weakly. Ah, Neteyam. She first noticed him when he arrived with his family. She was curious about them and he immediately caught her eye. He seemed so cute to her. What shocked her was that she also caught him looking at her. She was never the center of anyone's interest. Then she smiled shyly at him and walked away.
He looked at her several times. Sometimes he even smiled. But he never came to see her, so Y/N had no reason to worry.
Until now.
"I'm sorry I scared you. I just wanted to introduce myself. I am Neteyam and you are?” she read his lips.
Why did he come to see her? Did he not know she was deaf?
"Will you tell me your name or will I have to find it out myself?"
Ah. No, he didn't know.
Y/N picked up a stick and started writing in the sand. Neteyam watched her curiously. She hasn't said a word yet. Was she shy?
MY NAME IS Y/N. NICE TO MEET YOU.
Neteyam stared at the sand. “Y/N. Nice to meet you too,"
Y/N watched him with her eyes and wrote in the sand:
DO YOU KNOW OUR FINGER TALK?
She knew that Neteyam had told Ao'nung that he didn't understand their "finger talk" underwater. But it had been a long time since he said that. He might have learned it by then.
Neteyam wrote in the sand:
A BIT. WHY?
Y/N sighed. Will she tell him? That she's deaf? To make him leave? Like everyone else?
She was silent for a while, looking at the ocean. Who knows how it sounds? What does the ocean sound like? That was her biggest question. What does the ocean sound like?
'Neteyam, it's because..' she started motioning to him when someone pushed Neteyam away. Ao'nung.
"What are you doing here?! Let her!” Ao'nung shouted.
"I didn't do anything to her, I swear! Where did you get that?!” Neteyam didn't understand.
Meanwhile, Y/N stood up and pushed Ao'nung away from Neteyam.
'Ao'nung! Leave him! He didn't do anything to me, I swear!' she motioned to him.
Ao'nung growled at Neteyam. 'Why were you with him?' he asked her.
'Because I came to see her.' Neteyam finally understood their sign language.
Y/N looked into his eyes. 'Sorry, Ao'nung is a bit protective. And Neteyam, if you didn't get it, I'm deaf,' she motioned to him and left with that.
Neteyam was looking at her pretty back for a while. Everything suddenly made sense. He felt like an idiot.
"Neteyam, if you hurt her," Ao'nung growled.
"I won't hurt her! Why would I do that?"
"Because she is deaf! It's not easy for her,” Ao'nung looked at him sternly.
"I understand, okay, Ao'nung? You don't have to be so protective. And the fact that she is deaf does not burden me. On the contrary."
"On the contrary? What?"
"I want to know her. Y/N."
‿︵‿︵୨˚̣̣̣͙୧ - - ୨˚̣̣̣͙୧‿︵‿︵
"Hello. Sorry about yesterday," Neteyam finally found Y/N the next day.
She was just leaving Ronal.
She looked at him in surprise. 'No need to apologize. What are you doing here?'
Neteyam smiled shyly. 'I came to see you. Shall we walk?'
Y/N opened her mouth in shock. She's dreaming, right? This can't be true.
They walked along the beach and stopped at the place where they met yesterday.
Y/N looked at him. Eywa, he was so handsome. But she had to ask him: 'Why did you come to see me?'
'What do you mean? Aren't the boys going after you?'
'They don't go, Neteyam. The fact that I am deaf is a problem for them. And I'm not surprised at that.'
'Why are you throwing yourself down? Being deaf does not make you worthless. I don't see a problem with that. That's their problem. I see a beautiful girl in front of me and the fact that you are deaf makes you... uhm.. even more beautiful.'
Y/N had tears in her eyes. 'You only recently learned sign language, right? You are doing very well,' she praised him.
Neteyam smiled at her. She was beautiful. Why didn't she see that?
He really couldn't believe that no one had come up to her and asked her to be his mate yet.
‿︵‿︵୨˚̣̣̣͙୧ - - ୨˚̣̣̣͙୧‿︵‿︵
Y/N and Neteyam started meeting each other. Y/N loved evening walks. They talked for a long time. About life. About everything. Y/N didn't even want to believe it was true. It was too beautiful. Y/N also met Neteyam's family. His family always knew how to make her laugh. They were very nice. And funny. Even Ao'nung, her good loyal friend, changed his mind about Neteyam.
She liked Neteyam. He was so nice, to everyone, to everything, that it hurt. And so was Y/N.
"They found each other. They're both too good for this world,” Tsireya rested her head against Lo'ak's.
Lo'ak looked at his brother as he walked hand in hand with Y/N. “Y/N is a good girl. Sometimes I even forget that she is deaf,"
Tsireya nodded silently.
‿︵‿︵୨˚̣̣̣͙୧ - - ୨˚̣̣̣͙୧‿︵‿︵
'Do you know that your name means no end?' Y/N asked him out of nowhere.
Neteyam puzzled Y/N's nose. 'I don't know why my parents gave me name with this meaning, but I like it.'
'Me too.'
And then she asked him again. What interested her the most. 'How does the ocean sound?'
Neteyam looked at her. She was so interested. His heart sank as he realized that she would never find out.
'Beautiful,' he answered. 'The sound of the sea is beautiful. The sound of the waves makes the soul at peace.' The ocean reminded him of her. She gave him peace.
Y/N was a bit sad and Neteyam noticed it. 'But do you know what the most beautiful sound in the world is?' he asked her.
'I do not know,'
Neteyam knelt and wrote in the sand:
YOUR LAUGHTER.
Tears streamed down Y/N's face. Netaym stood up and wiped them away with his fingers. Y/N hugged him and Neteyam hugged her back.
She grabbed his hand and was about to motion to him something she had never said before.
But Neteyam stopped her. He kissed her fingertips and buried his fingers in her long hair. He kissed her forehead, cheeks, nose, and finally her mouth. Y/N closed her eyes and gave up on the gentle kiss. Eywa, it was so beautiful.
'Y/N, you don't have to hear the most beautiful things,' Neteyam placed her hand on his heart. 'You don't even have to see the most beautiful things, but you have to feel the most beautiful things.'
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imbeingchokeholded · 7 months
Text
Getting Clean
I need to be put into jail, stupid Scottish bitch.
Anyway this is probably lowkey just gonna be smut completely lmao.
I promise the soap pun titles will end.
Also so sorry this took so long because my mind is an enigma and writing for either the COD fandom or the RDR2 fandom has been deleted out of my mind.
Lets go lmao
WARNINGS!: female reader because im a woman and soap makes me yell real loud (nothing against him being shipped with male readers or 141, good for him what a king), NSFW, fuckin, im so bad at warnings just know its gonna be fuckin happenin, choking?? Voice kink???? Breeding kink for SURE. Just major NSFW basically porn with negative plot. Like... .5 plot.
Scottish slang/words may be inccorect due to using google, so please lemme know if its wrong, I'll happily fix it.
I am so sorry for spelling mistakes i finished this at like 2am
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The mess hall seemed way too empty, everyone was out on missions, covert, recon, whatever, and while there was a shit ton of others there on base, without most of the 141 team it just felt....wrong.
You sigh and look at your food. It's not that it's bad food. In fact, it looks delicious, but sitting alone, at this massive table that usually you shared with Ghost, Gaz, Rudy and Alejandro, as well as Soap, just made you feel...down.
They were easily the people you were closest too on base. Working so closely with them it was only a matter of time before it happened. All of you were close friends, it was rare for any of you to stray from the group and talk to anyone else.
So today, sitting in the mess hall, was no different.
You stare at the food a little longer, and poke it around with your fork, that strange foreign feeling in your chest.
"Aye Lass, lookin' at it like tha' cannaé change how it tastes."
You smile and twist your head to look at Soap as he nears the table, a tray of food of his own in his hands.
"Johnny! I didn't know you were here!" You smile wider as he takes a seat next to you, and chuckle as he takes a bite of food from his tray.
"Ah, I jus' got back from a mission not too long ago, Price is givin' me a wei break."
You nod and smile at him, your heart seems a little lighter now, someone who you're far closer to now with you.
Plus it was Johnny, how could you not be happy around him? He was the obnoxious fun loving one of the group, he could be serious yes, but it was rare. Most days he joked, laughed, spat out witty sarcastic comments at everyone who passed.
You supposed that was part of the reason you'd grown to have such deep feelings for him in the first place.
Of course you'd never tell him that, you were far too nervous to do that.
Handsome, sweet, a deep voice, which had a Scottish accent on top of it? You could listen to him speak about nonsense for the entire day.
Sometimes missions with him were absolute hell.
He did his job, he was a good Sargent, he knew what he was doing, trained properly, getting things done the way they needed to, but his commentary....
That damn voice of his, he didn't even need to be next to you, all he needed was that voice and his stupid little sarcastic quips.
Hell, sometimes it wasn't even in comms.
He'd yell out something simple, that shouldn't have been attractive, yet it was.
Something as simple as "Changing mags!" Could make your face heat up and turn a violent red, hell, he basically growled at the end of the sentence whenever he said it. Being near him was almost like having a bomb strapped to your chest. Threatening to go off at any second.
Everytime he said "Steamin' Jesus" you couldn't help but imagine him using it in a far more intimate senario, with a slight change of tone, and that never failed to send a flood of warmth between your legs.
You swore that he knew what he was doing too, like he could sense the tension between the two of you, or see the red on your face, but if he did he never brought it up, and for that you were thankful.
Trying to explain fraternization to Price would not be a fun experience. Not only that but bringing it up would probably make you flustered beyond speaking ablity.
"Hey, Y/N. I been talkin' yer fuckin' ear off, you still listenin'?"
You shake your head and look at him, your face feels hot and you're sure you're crimson.
"Ye alright Lass?"
That stupid nickname makes the blush worsen and you simply clear your throat.
"I'm fine Soap. Thinking."
"You can call me Johnny off duty." He laughs. "You usually do....ya nervous about something? Just a wei bit?"
His voice carries a bit of teasing tone and you can't help but feel a bit if irritation at the smug bastard.
"Not nervous, no."
"Ah, not nervous, yet red in the face....Aye...I got yer number bonnie."
He snorts and then continues to eat.
"Really?" You cross your arms and look at him. "Do you now MacTavish?"
"Pretty obvious if you ask me." He shrugs.
"Okay, so tell me then."
Your face burns at the sudden burst of confidence, and as a smirk crosses over Johnny's face you suddenly feel very foolish about what you've just said.
"Lass...tha's not very appropriate for me to say here, where anyone could hear....now is it?"
That smirk stays on his face as he lowers his voice to a low whisper as he gets the last few words out.
You swallow, and your face burns deeper.
"I don't know what you mean Johnny."
"I'm sure." He offers you a laugh and then stands, the look in his eyes makes your body shiver. "I think I'll head to my room...feel free to...visit, if you'd like."
You watch as he walks off as though nothing had happened and your entire body seems to shiver.
He sticks his hands in his jean pockets as he walks away, which you obviously noticed, because of course you did, with an ass like his.
What the hell are you gonna do? Follow him? How the hell did he figure you out so quickly? Did he mean what he said?
Little did you know Johnny was thinking similarly.
"What the hell were you thinkin'? Saying somethin' like that? Y/N does NOT feel that way about you, you probably just fucked somethin' up, fuckin' idiot."
It takes you only a matter of minutes before you stand from the table and head after Johnny, towards his room in the base.
Your heart is thumping so loudly its the only thing you can hear.
Your body seems to be reacting on its own though, your thoughts, while dirty and definetly in need of some....cleaning....ironically, are wondering what'll happen to your friendship afterwards, but your body doesn't seem to care.
Your mind races with the thought of what would happen if you were caught too, it wasn't exactly professional to fuck your coworker in the military.
When you reach his door you breathe deeply, hesitant as you raise your hand to the door. You stopped for a moment and then, you knock on the door.
Johnny opens the door nearly instantly, only a matter of seconds pass before the door knob clicks and he stands in the doorway before you, leaning against the doorframe as he looks down at you.
"Tha' was quick Lass."
"Shut up, let me in."
"Aw...c'mon now...be nice..." He lowers his voice, whispering the last two words, a smug smirk coming over his mouth.
You feel a rush of heat through your chest and look to your feet, your entire face seems to burn, your ears even feel as though they're burning.
"Please Johnny?"
You feel his hand come under your chin and he lifts your head to look him in the eye, not gently but not rough either.
"Try again Lass, look me in the eye."
Fuck fuck fuck fuck
"Please let me in, you stupid Scottish fuck."
"Tha's not very nice...thought I said be nice..."
You clench your jaw and stare at him, that smug grin on his face somehow managing to irritate you and make you horny all at the same time.
"Please Johnny? Let me in?"
"Ye really do want me, don't ye? Dinnaé know you felt so strongly towards me.." He smirks at you and the moves aside, dropping his hand from your chin to let you in.
You look around his room, staring at all the posters and things he has lined up on the walls. Considering this was Johnny's room....you expected it to be far dirtier, less organized, yet as you looked around at the rest of his room you noticed everything had a place, everything was neat, he didn't even have dirty clothes on the floor.
Neat and organized....despite his very chaotic and uncooridinated nature.
You're busy looking this over, viewing his room when he comes up behind you.
He leans in close.
"So, you were havin' thoughts then?" He smirks, you can feel it without even looking at him. "You? Havin' thoughts...innocent little Y/N always focused on the job Y/N....havin' thoughts like those....and about me..."
His voice lowers, it's nearly a growl, and a hand wraps around your waist, his fingers slide gently under the bottom of your shirt, touching the bare skin of your stomach, only just barely.
"Naughty...naughty..."
You look down, your face is completely red, scarlet, and it burns hotter than you thought possible.
By looking down you didn't really account for the fact that, that would only leave your neck open, and it takes all your will power you have not to make a sound when you feel Johnny's lips agains the skin there.
"I'm suprised it took you this long to notice Johnny." You breathe out, hoping your voice wouldn't give out on you.
He stops, his lips still gently placed against your skin as he speaks.
"Really now....been very noticable has it Hen?"
The nickname sends a shiver though your spine, though you know the word itself isn't the issue.
"I think so..." You breathe. "Can't you tell when my voice changes over comms sometimes?"
"Ye get that flustered...over comms? Ye don't even see me.."
He chuckles and presses another kiss to your neck, you're sure the next one he offers will be brusing.
"Not my fault..." You mumble. You've almost collapsed against him, leaning your body weight onto him, though he doesn't mind in the slightest.
"Really now...now...can ye explain to me what it is on comms that makes things so hard to focus then Hen?"
"Why must you make things difficult?"
"Difficult?"
He laughs at you and then stands up straight, his hand leaving the skin of your stomach.
He moves to his bed and takes a seat, nearly plopping down, he sits with his legs open and slaps both hands on his thighs, leaning forwards.
"It isn't difficult, it's a really easy question now Lass."
You cross your arms and look at him, watching as he leans back a little a simple smirk on his face.
"If ye really want somethin' tonight Y/N, yer gonnae have to tell me."
That smug look doesn't leave his face, rather it seems like it only gets worse as he utters out your name, emphasising it, lowering his voice as he does. To add to this you watch as his hands leave his thighs, palms upwards in a sort of shrug gesture.
He knows what gets you flustered over comms. He knows, you know he knows, but you also know he's gonna make you say it.
"You damn well know what it is Johnny."
"Oh I do, but it'll be much better when it comes out of yer mouth, preferrably with your face all red."
You swallow and look to the floor, keeping your arms crossed as you speak.
"I swear sometimes you do it on purpose. You do those damn jokes, say those fucking statements and you always lower your voice, especially if you know I'm listening. I told you how I liked your accent ONCE and now you use it everytime you can."
"Aye, I do." Again, as before, you can hear that smirk on his face. "I'll admit it. I take every chance I can."
You scrunch up your nose, refusing to look up at him.
Theres silence for a moment and then you hear him shuffle, only then do you look up.
He simply catches your gaze and makes a motion towards himself with his two middle fingers, pretty much beckoning you towards him.
Despite the stubborness you've shown earlier you can't help but follow his silent command.
As you reach him and stand inbetween his legs his hands creep over your thighs, fingers curling around the back of them, squeezing the meat of them, tightly, firmly. Just the right amount of pressure.
He looks up at you, his face a little more serious now, the smirk from earlier still lingers, but it's far less noticable.
"Ye know Y/N, I've thought about having you in here....a lot."
"Really?" You stop a moment, your body tingling, stemming from his fingertips outwards. Your mind seems a little fogged. "I thought....I thought maybe you'd invited me in here today just to...well honestly I thought you were just fucking with me Johnny, but...I couldn't just ignore it."
"Nae, no fuckin'with you, no this time."
"So...does...um...does that mean..." You swallow, struggling with your words. "Look....Johnny I think it's obvious I've liked you for a while now...are...if we're really gonna do this...I...what does it mean? Anything? Just...are we fuck buddies, or something more because...."
Your words trail off, you can't help but cross your arms, a sudden burst of what you can only assume is nearly shame creeps up through you.
Johhny's face changes, subtly, but you catch it, and you don't miss the squeeze he gives your thighs either.
"Hen, once I get a taste of you I don't think I could have anyone else."
He's quick with his movements as he slides his hands up towards your ass, and pushes you slightly closer to himself.
The action he does next is a simple one, yet it sends all kinds of feelings through you.
His tongue touches the skin of your stomach, his hand gently pushing your shirt up out of the way. He licks a stripe upwards, keeping eye contact with you as he does.
"Jesus Johnny...."
He offers a chuckle and grips your hip with his free hand just a little tighter.
"I'm gonna ask this once Bonníe," he looks at you, only a small trace of a smile on his lips. "Are ye sure ye wanna do this? I'll stop if ye say stop, but after this I won't ask again."
Your thoughts swirl in your head for a moment. Wondering if it is what you wanted. If it was worth chancing your friendship, chancing your job, getting caught fraternizing is no small penalty.
In the end your body decides for you.
You nod.
"I do."
That smile of his fits on his face slowly, showing off those pearly whites. His surprisingly sharp canines.
His tongue comes out once more, again licking up your stomach, this time he stands as he moves himself upwards, only bringing his mouth away when he reaches the area just below your breasts, letting your shirt fall back to its original place.
When he finally stands his mouth goes into good use, his lips meeting yours with a feverancy, practically a need. He fists your hair, and darts his tongue into your mouth without any hesitance.
His free hand snakes around your body, finding purchase on the plump of your asscheek.
You let out a moan against his lips which in turn pulls one from him.
Your hands wrap around the back of his neck, grabbing onto any part of him you can.
His hand nestled within your hair offers a tug, pulling your head back, taking your lips from his and exposing your neck to him.
His lips latch onto your throat, open mouthed hot kisses against your skin, making your body shiver, tingle. His tongue licks along your skin, warm, and again...hungry.
"Johnny..." You whine out his name, and your body flames up, a part of you is curious as to how he'd gotten you so needy so quickly.
The other part did not give a shit.
"So pretty when you whine like that Bonníe..."
He smiles against your skin, moving towards your jaw, still dragging his lips along your neck, refusing to leave it.
"Maybe we should see if I can get any more out of ye..."
"Johnny...we have to be careful..." You mumble. "We...we can't be caught-"
"Yer right Lass...that might even be more fun..."
He pulls back to look at you, his eyes seemed to darken with the idea that begins to plauge his mind.
"Let's see if ye can keep from screamin' huh?"
"Johnny-"
He cuts you off as his hand come up around your throat, offering a gentle squeeze to the sides as he begins to push you down to the bed.
"Do yer best for me Love." He gives you that goddamn smirk again. "Stay quiet...Can ye do that?"
You nod, your breathing becoming heavier as he stares down at you, hand still wrapped around your throat.
"Atta girl."
He coos out the words and everything in your body seems to be completely englufed in flame.
"You this charming to every girl you fuck Johnny?"
You breathe out the words, hands moving to his chest as you settle against the mattress.
"Jus' you Lass."
Rough hands slide under your shirt, over your stomach, bringing the shirt along with him.
His thumb glides up the center of your torso, pushing down slightly as he continues his movement, his other hand only leaves your throat when he needs to remove the shirt fully.
Your bra is taken off with seemingly expert practice, your breasts exposed to the air, but quickly they're found by hands and mouth.
A rough palm on one and a wet mouth sucking and licking the other.
It takes all your power not to moan, your back arching up into the feeling.
You hadn't been aware of just how touch starved you'd been.
One of your hands tangles into his mohawk, attempting to hold onto something of him.
He looks up at you, pulling away from your breasts.
"Nae, I dinnae say ye could touch lass."
"Johnny-"
"Shut tha' pretty mouth lass...see if ye can be quiet yeah?"
You nod, swallowing as he reaches for your pants. His fingers hooking under the waistband as he unbuttons them with the other.
With one swift movement he's pulled both your jeans and panties down, leaving you bare to him.
"Would ye look at tha'...such a bonnie sigh', Love..."
He smirks and moves in, hands finding your inner thighs, bringing a sigh from your lips.
Before you can say much else you feel a swipe of his tongue over your heat, already you were slick, this was certain to make the problem worse.
His grip on your inner thighs gets a little tighter as he continues with you, he moves his tongue with expertise, eating you out as though he's a man starved.
"Johnny..."
You can't help but let his name slip out, grabbing the sheets beneath you, squirming your hips against his face.
He looks up at you from his position, and even in his eyes you can see the smirk he'd wear.
It's far too soon that he pulls away, you'd been so close to your climax, so close to having that release, until he'd denied you that.
Again you whine his name, and he moves, climbing over you, grabbing your face with one hand, firmly holding your cheeks.
"Aw lass...wei bonnie...are ye feelin' a wei bit needy?"
You nod, the best you can in his grip, moving your hips against his clothed arousal, hoping for even a little bit of friction.
You give a nother small whine, this one more of a sound than that of a noise, again reaching for him, only for his other hand to pin your wrists above you.
"Ah...I told ye, nae touchin' lass"
You simply look at him, unable to do much in your senario. It's then that he kisses you, deeply, his tongue gliding against yours, the taste of your own slick in your mouth.
He lets go of your face, only to rushedly un button his pants, his problem suddenly a bit more annoying than it had been.
The moment he's free, his pants and boxers disgarded he simply looks down at you, seemingly thinking.
Its then that he grabs you by the hips and easily, effortlessly, flips you onto your stomach, running his pointer finger and thumb down your spine for a moment.
"Ye look so good from this angle love..."
He leans over you, his chest to your back, head angled right next to your ear.
He lowers that damn voice of his again.
"Can ye be a good lass fer me and arch jus' a wei bit... chest down love, ass up."
Of course you do as he asks, or rather tells, like its instinct, pressing your chest further into the bed, raising your rear higher into the air.
He leans back, taking a look at the sight in front of him, his hands going to the flesh of your ass like magnets, squeezing gently, your ass and hips, as though he can't decide which he likes better.
"Look at ye...such an obediant little lass...ye like doin' what yer told do ye? Is tha' why ye like rankin' under me? Enjoy the way I order ye around on the field? Makes ye think..."
You don't answer, focused on the feel of his hands, its only when he moves one of those hands to the back of your neck.
"I need an answer lass."
"Yes, yes I do Sir."
You can nearly feel the smirk on his face, he squeezes the back of your neck a little tighter.
"Sir?"
"Yes sir."
"Oho...I like tha' lass..."
He grabs both of your asscheeks again for a moment before you feel one leave only to feel him push into you.
You let out a groan as he pushes in, as much as you can take, to the base, you feel incredibly full. He's girthy.
"Fuck Johnny..."
You murmer.
"Nae...yer gonna call me sir from now on Love..."
You swallow, waiting for him to move.
"Do ye understand me?"
"Yes Sir."
"Good lass."
He gices you this praise and gently he moves his hips, his hand pushing your spine back into that arch you'd subtly moved away from.
His hips move slow, almost painfully so, and he knows this, teasing you with his hands gliding over your back.
"Ye look so good lass...all this jus' fer me..."
"Johnny please...."
"Aw lass...what did I jus' say?"
"Please...sir?"
"Tha's better....use yer words bonnie...what is it ye want?"
"Faster sir, please?"
You hear the small beg in your voice, sure that by the end of all this you'd be begging a lot more.
"Tha's a girl."
His hand moves to your hip, gripping hard as the other moves to your hair, grasping the roots of it, giving a tug as he moves his hips a little faster, filling you with his size, over and over again.
It's only a minute or so before he seems to loose that idea of torturing you, his pace picking up, hips snapping against yours, that slap of skin on skin, the squelch of your arousal ringing in your ears.
"Fuckkk y/n...." It comes out in nearly a growl, and he pushes your upper half further into the bed.
"Yer doin' so good bonnie...so fuckin' good..."
Another maon crawls its way out of your throat, the others you'd managed to quell, small sounds here and there, but you can't stop this one.
You push your hips against his, letting your knees spread further apart trying to get him in at a deeper angle.
"Please sir, please, fuck-"
The words tumble out of your mouth before you can register what you're even trying to beg for, your figers clench at his sheets beneath you, they smell like him, everything smells like him.
"Y/N..."
His voice is a groan, it's all you hear as he shifts your position, yanking you up by your hair, bringing your back to his chest, thrusting himself upwards into you.
"Johnny...fuck!"
You find your arm going over your shoulder, wraping around the back of his neck, trying to find purchase on something
His lips latch onto your neck as though he's drawn to it, his tongue swiping over your skin and his teeth leaving bites along your throat and shoulders. He breaths hard against you, inhaling your scent.
"Steamin' bloody Jesus..."
He groans, his pace picking up a little further, one hand still brusingly on your hip, the other slides down your front, fingers finding your clit easily.
It brings a moan to the surface of your lips, and rather than being scolded Johnny simply murmers another praise of 'good lass' in your ear, his hips snapping against yours, rythmic.
"Johnny-"
"Y/N..." He huffs, his fingers going faster against your bud. "'M close...need ye to tell me where..."
"Inside Johnny, please...fill me up..."
"Jesus Y/N..."
His voice is breathy, heavy against your skin as he continues, his hips getting erratic, until finally he gives a groan, shoving his face into your shoulder, riding out his climax, the feeling of his cum hitting your inner walls pushing you closer to yours.
He rides out his, moving his hips slightly, much slower than before, and keeps his hand going, trying to keep his previous pace.
"C'mon lass...ye can let go now...it's yer turn..."
He mumbles, breatheless.
It's not much longer of this praising and the movement of his fingers before you do just that, squeezing around him and moaning out his name as you finally reach that high.
As the two of you come down, breathing hard, Johnny still inside you, head leaning against your shoulder, he slips an arm around your waist and offers a gentle kiss to your shoulder.
"Thank ye lass..." he murmers. "Tha' was fun."
"Thank you Johnny."
"Ye ain't gotta thank me...I've wanted to do tha' for god knows how long."
"Maybe we can do it again sometime."
"Oh trust me lass...we will be."
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viridianevergarden · 11 days
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Reading comprehension and critical thinking has really gone out the window hasn’t it? At least in a portion of the fandom.
People are forever stuck under the presumption that Az feels pure lust for Elain and nothing more. That lust suddenly doesn’t go hand in hand with love? That Az is mentally fucked up and should get therapy yet no one else in the IC should? That Az is wrong for naturally shifting his feelings of love from one person to another? That he’s wrong because he didn’t “take a break”? That because of these, Az doesn’t deserve to have love and to love in general?
People are also forever stuck under the presumption that these characters are oh so evil and shouldn’t deserve love at the same time? Take Rhys for a popular example. (When it’s a book series about the ‘villain’ getting the girl. The math isn’t mathing. He’s not even a real, true villain).
No character in ACOTAR is meant to be a saint, I thought everyone knew that. (Oh my god! Morally grey characters when they do morally grey things, shocking😧)
I find most Azriel antis are literally just people who can’t put two and two together. Or just don’t like him for whatever reason they may have. (Everyone has their opinions, yes). But my god, the shallow interpretation and failure to understand his character annoys me ngl. He’s a complex character but he’s not a damn mathematical equation. (He is complex yet linear.)
“He only thought about sex in the bonus chapter.”
As if Elain also wasn’t aroused too? And gave him permission? (Omg, mutual consent! Blasphemy!)
But also the fact that they disregard Az’s noticeable and careful attention to Elain that he has shown throughout the entire series? They disregard purposefully romanticized moments?
“What happened with Elain?”
“What about Elain?”
“I’m getting her back.”
“I can imagine.”
“Would you like me to show you the garden?”
“There is an innate darkness to the Dread Trove that Elain should not be exposed to.”
“This is Truth-teller.”
Shadows gathered around the room like snakes preparing to strike.
“Sit. I’ll take care of it.”
“Wait until everyone is seated before eating.”
“We need to get these chains off her.”
Azriel stood in the doorway, monitoring [Elain]…
“She doesn’t need anything.”
“The Cauldron made you a Seer.”
“Happy Solstice.”
Staying up with her til 3 am, talking about her gardening plans.
The kiss on the cheek.
“Beautiful.”
Countless times of him gently carrying her around.
Him constantly looking out at her garden.
Him spending actual effort to get her a thoughtful gift for solstice.
Facing death itself to get her back immediately by himself.
A laugh so deep and joyous.
Looking at that headache powder every night for over a year without ever using it.
The absence of his shadows in her presence.
“His secret to tell, never hers.”
Need I go on? Azriel is always hyper focused on Elain. Always. If it weren’t for him, Elain would probably be dead or in more trouble than she ever would have been before.
If all Azriel cared about was slipping under Elain’s dress, why did he attend to her so? Why is he hyper aware of her? Why is he so assertive with her needs over anyone else? Even over Nesta? Why would he feel the need to defend her against Nesta, her own sister, if it called for it? Why does he respect her and Lucien’s boundary by refusing to have eyes on Lucien for the sake of their privacy? Why was he the only one to show initiative over anyone else to get Elain back to safety now rather than later, by himself, even if it meant certain death?
But yeah, all he wants is her body. Right? Yeah, that makes sense…
I’m just saying. No main SJM character would ever go through so much effort just to bed another character. Thats not SJM’s style nor is it logical in the slightest.
But oh yes, he feels entitled to her and her body…
…Entitled?
Wrong E word.
Envy ≠ Entitlement.
Feeling Envious of the love that his brothers have? Of the bonds they have with the other sisters? Yet he’s the only one left all by his lonesome? He feels left out. Third wheeled. And rationally so. He’s happy for his brothers but envious all the same. (As if Cassian didn’t feel the same but no one said shit about him did they?)
I’ve said this in another post too but he is NOT looking at Elain and going “she should be mine.”
He doesn’t even think he deserves her for freaks sake.
Rhys doesn’t really know Azriel. Cassian doesn’t really know Azriel. No one truly knows Azriel. The only one who has truly understood some semblance of Azriel is Elain. Even when his heart and feelings are so incredibly gated off from everyone.
So that word —entitlement— that people keep throwing around from Rhys’ lips is completely misguided.
The sheer mischaracterization makes me see red 💀
But back to the point, with obvious and mutual romantic feelings, being horny is normal. (This is also an adult romantasy series, shocking that there’s sexual content).
I’ll die on that hill for Az and Elain.
I don’t get how it can be this hard, but maybe it’s just me.
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adamworu · 1 year
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‘When’s the White Haired Anime Boy Going to Appear?’
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For awhile, I often wondered about the phenomena of ‘When is the white-haired anime boy going to appear?’ posts during the heyday of Eva content on tumblr (2013-14). If you were around the Eva fandom on tumblr, or new to the show around that time like I was, you were probably bewildered too. It’s part of what got me into the show other than the character struggles and interesting worldbuilding.
Sure, you could chalk it up to people wanting to see more of Kaworu’s cute, but awkward mannerisms coupled with cryptic, though nonthreatening words. The bath scene of episode 24 is heavily quotable. There was also the influx of ‘headless’ memes (see: Pop Goes My Heart!).
But Eva was watched during many people’s adolescent years. High and low years. Critical years.
Evangelion itself is no stranger to struggles in formative years.
(talks about abuse under the cut)
I’ve always read Shinji as an audience surrogate because of how he’s at the center of these issues. Many of us have a Gendo: We hate them, yet we seek their validation, because unfortunately, they’re all we have. And yet they’re so emotionally cold and self-serving. 
Much of the series sees Shinji in less than optimal environments. His father is cold and distant. While Misato takes him in, she also makes him (and Asuka) fight angels due to her issues with her own father. Shinji and Asuka’s relationship within the household isn’t the greatest, either. They’re both emotionally damaged kids who can’t really properly sort through the baggage due to their environment. They’re mainly shouldering the burden of adult issues during their early teen years. 
They’re face to face with the open horrors of war. 
Kaworu comes in toward the tail end of the series. He asks nothing of Shinji but the narrative hardly portrays him as the sudden, immaculate savior. They get to know each other, and due to his deep traumas, Shinji is of course wary because being open means getting hurt again. So he puts his guard up. The more they interact, the more they both get to know each other. 
‘Why am I telling all this to Kaworu?’
This is less of a wariness of who Kaworu is and more of Shinji realizing he spilled part of his heart about his strained relationship with his father. Shinji realizes that he feels open, but not vulnerable. Kaworu feels the same way, replying to Shinji’s answers with ‘I think I may have been born to meet you, Shinji-kun.’
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I sound like a broken record saying this but, Kaworu isn’t just his own person. He represents an ideal. This is a point I’m totally partisan to. That tinges of kindness can and do exist, even when one’s world is hell. 
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On that end, I believe that, at least in the original series, that Hikari is Asuka’s Kaworu. Asuka’s guarded persona manifests as being proud and somewhat brash, but it’s a product of neglect. This worsens when she comes to understand in her environment that her accomplishments mean next to nothing. That she’s replaceable. 
The adults in Eva, even the adults of the adults get away with murder and seeing that as a victim of abuse drives a visceral rage I haven’t felt in years. And I’m sure this ire, this rising embitterment stirs in you too, if you ever lived in such an environment.
A lot of us were forced to wade through toxic environments for years while growing up. Had our share of bad relationships that still leave marks to this day.  A lot of us are victims chasing the closure that will sadly, never come because many of the people who hurt you walk away when they have much to answer for. Even if they do answer, is there any guarantee that they’ll be genuine?
When Shinji is with Kaworu and when Asuka is around Hikari they’re far less guarded. For the latter, we see a side of Asuka not seen before: one that’s tender. One that doesn’t feel burdened and otherwise ignored.
And that too, could describe that someone in our lives. The world doesn’t feel as daunting. You realize your worth and that you can be yourself when you’re around them. The barriers come down slowly and you stop saying sorry. You don’t feel as if they’re demanding that that happens. It simply just. Does. The people you hate or ignore your grievances seem insignificant in your life, even if for a moment. 
When we ask ‘When’s the white haired anime boy going to appear?’ what we actually mean is ‘When is our support system going to appear?’
I know that one day you will find your Kaworu. You deserve better than an apology. You deserve peace.
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elvisabutler · 1 year
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Hi I’d like to request a smut about Austin Butler and reader. Reader stared as Pricilla in Elvis and Austin and her became very close And they flirt all the time but when Austin dates Kaia reader feels like she has no chance Then the cast goto the oscars where Austin is nominated and wins Reader is also nominated but for Marilyn Monroe(Love her!)she goes down the isle Austin kisses her in front of everybody like Alexander Skarsguard and Nicole Kidman reader confronts him after leads to smut.
love was just a glance away
summary: after bonding and flirting nonstop on the set of elvis, you fall for austin but don't take a chance on telling him. when he starts to date kaia you think your opportunity is gone for good until oscar night. fandom: austin butler | elvis ( 2022 ) rating: m pairing: austin butler x priscilla actress reader ( different verse than my usual ). austin butler x kaia gerber is also mentioned, plays an somewhat important part as the prompt implies. word count: 2642 warnings: cheating on austin's part, kind of. pining. oral ( f receiving ). age difference ( austin is the older one in both relationships ). mentions of the movie blonde. author’s note: so this has been tricky for me for a number of reasons that i won't get into. but anon if you're still around ( since this was from the beginning of september, lord have mercy ) thank you for this prompt and i hope you enjoy! and we're all gonna pretend that blonde wasn't a trash fire, alright? just for this fic. and for those of you who don't remember, yes that kiss with alexander and nicole did happen. it's okay, i forgot about it too. and special thanks to @blurredcolour and @ab4eva who helped talk me out of setting this piece on fire. no taglist this time for this is a piece i am still very unsure of.
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Austin Butler has a magnetism you wish you could blame on him playing Elvis- wish you could blame on him not being able to separate himself from his character. You wish you could and yet you of all people know the truth, that Austin will look at you as if you're the only person in the room when talking to you, will act as if he cares about all the little tiny details of your life that most people just sort of pretend to care about. No one could fault you for falling for him- no one could fault anyone for falling for him, especially when you had been his costar- the Prisicilla to his Elvis for almost two years, watching Elvis movies together, learning everything about the real life people that made your characters who they were.
You tell yourself you should have made a move on Austin when you had the chance. You should have made a move on him at that stupid brunch or that stupid moment in the water at the wrap party. You should have but you were too scared, too much that young girl who got the part and found yourself starry eyed over your older costar. So you allow him to slip through your fingers and move onto your next project while he moves onto his. You keep faintly in touch, talking over text until the pics with Lily Rose come out and you ignore him for a week, too hurt that he moved on- like you had ever been together- to speak to him. When you finally do you're shorter than you've ever been with him and he backs off for a month. He backs off thinking you're- he knows he's made you angry, hurt you but he doesn't know why. You two were never anything more than close costars, hell, you had been one of the few he'd had that stuck around past filming like this, stuck around and had him keep that sense of family he always lost when shooting wrapped for any project.
He backs away for a month but then he meets Kaia and she feels like a balm. A part of him, a part deep inside the recesses of his mind knows he's probably using her and that she doesn't deserve this- she's not even 21 and here he was just fooling around with her. She's nice enough though- her parents less so but- no one was perfect and he was dating her and not them. Getting to know her is a whirlwind before the press tour, coffee dates and trips to Paris and making out over masks because she's better than 'Nessa ever will be about obeying the rules when it comes to the pandemic.
Seeing you on the press tour, seeing you in your dress at the Met has his heart thudding in his chest, has his hands itching to touch you. You're flying solo while he has Kaia on his arm being sweet and as lovely as can be. She's everything he could want in a girlfriend he thinks, and yet she's not you. Still, she doesn't deserve this, doesn't deserve to have anything but his undivided attention so he tries to remind himself that if you two were meant to be- if you two were supposed to be together you would be. Life isn't the Notebook and people don't drift apart only to come back together in a sweeping scene in the rain. When he reminds himself of this, when he let's himself tell his subconscious this over and over it sinks in, it makes it easier to be the adoring boyfriend Kaia deserves and after the standing ovation that lasts twelve minutes and you congratulating him, he allows himself to forget about it.
He allows himself to bury his feelings for you because he's not a cheater, he's not the type to break up his own relationship on a- fling, a potential friends with benefits situation- a something that isn't another relationship. He's not a cheater by nature but sometimes- sometimes he wishes he was, wishes he could call you up on the nights he's in Budapest or the nights he's in Ohio and tell you everything. Tell you that he loves Kaia but he's been at least a little in love with you since filming and it's not just Elvis and Priscilla. No, it's you and him. You're filming- something else at this point and he knows your Marilyn movie is getting rave reviews, not like he expected any different, and yet he only congratulates you, doesn't try and tell you his feelings, content to ride whatever his relationship with Kaia proves to be because you don't- You two missed your opportunity.
Never in his wildest dreams had Austin thought he'd be nominated for an Oscar for Elvis but if you had asked him- and you had- you were always going to be a shoo-in for a nomination for Marilyn. If you ask him, the phone call he has congratulating you- the one that takes three hours of just the two of you catching up? That might have been the straw that broke the camel's back with Kaia.
His relationship with her might not have been PR but he knows- and she knows it's a PR nightmare to have them break up right before the Oscars, and they may not be together but they like each other as people and Kaia murmurs against his shoulder that "you deserve to have your moment" and he does, doesn't he? After all those years of slaving away trying to become the actor he knows he was born to be.
You try to not watch Austin and how he looks with Kaia on his arm on the red carpet. Everyone's busy asking about your nomination and how it makes you feel and only occasionally do they bring up Austin's own, it's- it's fine. Handling this would be a piece of cake unlike figuring out just where you were supposed to sit as far as your respective casts went. You choose to sit with the Blonde cast, scrunching your face at Xavier and giving Bobby and Adrian the largest hugs imagable. You glance across the room to see Austin staring at you with something- with some look you don't dare identify as jealousy, after all, Kaia isn't too far away from him but it's something you're not sure you want to put a name to.
The ceremony itself feels like a blur- feels like a rush even though you know when you're watching it at home it never feels like that. Maybe it's just one of those things you have to experience in person to get the full effect. Austin wins- of course he does, you had no doubt and despite how complicated things have been with you and him- or how you wish you had made a move, you're still proud of him. Your standing ovation is practically a version of his one from Cannes and you see him grinning seeing you still clapping even as you sit down. It's hard to focus on the words he's saying after you hear "and my Priscilla, the wonderful Y/N," and realize he's still looking at you with something akin to joy and awe rolled into one while he continues to thank people. Brushing it off as just him needing to focus on one person in the audience is easy enough especially as your nerves start to truly hit you when it comes to your own nomination. Your heartbeat rushes in your ears a constant thrum as the names are read off until you hear them say your name and you see your castmates clapping and pushing you out of your chair. You're so thankful you didn't pick a dress with an obscenely long train because you can focus on walking and you do up until the point when you see Austin's body in front of you. Before you even have a chance to ask what he's doing you feel his large warm hands cup both sides of your face and pull you in for a kiss. Your own hands cup his face unbidden, forgetting that you two are on live television and forgetting that his girlfriend is right there. When you pull away your shocked eyes search his eyes for an answer only to get a look of pure love that you recognize, if only because he's given that look to you as Elvis so many times.
The speech you give is not the one you intended to, it's discombobulated and you swear a little nonsensical but it's over as soon as it happens and you find yourself whisked away to the backstage area where you see Austin of all the people standing there. There's an urge to slap him that threatens to bubble up to the surface before you pull him aside and snarl at him.
"What the fuck, Austin?" You pause. "What was that? Why- Why aren't you with Kaia?"
Austin pulls you farther away, into a small room of some kind before he sinks to his knees and frowns. "That- That was me kissing you. And we're- I don't need to be with her, she's twenty one years old, Y/N."
The next words that leave you are hissed as you look down at Austin on the floor, on his knees looking like he's wanting to find his way under your dress. "She's your girlfriend. Get off the floor." Your eyes dart around Austin, trying to not focus on how he looks as he looks up at you and licks his lips.
"She's my ex-girlfriend," he clarifies, as his hand moves to touch your calf, earning a slight shiver from you. "I- We should have gone together. I should have- I wanted you, I want you. Let me just- Let me make it up to you, please. Then you can be mad at me."
You raise an eyebrow at his words, wondering just what he means has his hand moves slowly upward until it reaches your thigh and you shiver, your chest heaving ever so slowly as you whisper. "Austin- You-" You shut your eyes and for once let yourself enjoy something, like he said, he wants to make it up to you, he wants to beg for your forgiveness on his knees. You can let him and then be mad at him like he says. "Please."
Your murmured please is all he needs to push up the fabric of your dress, exposing your underwear covered vagina. The underwear is pulled down enough in a flash as he wastes no time in burying his face in your crotch, inhaling a deep breath before his tongue starts to work you open. He licks at you, flicks his tongue against your clit, in your cunt, everywhere he seems to be able to reach. It's all too much and too little all at once as your hands move to grab at his hair, pulling it and earning a moan from him that he lets out around your clit. You shouldn't enjoy this as much as you do, you shouldn't be letting him do this even though you've dreamed at how his stubble would feel against your pussy, how it'd feel against your thighs. The feel of his fingers and of coolness of the two rings that are on his fingers against your pussy have you clenching around them and you hear him chuckle a little as you feel a rush of embarrassment at your reaction.
For someone who has never had sex with you and someone who- despite flirting with like your life depended on it out of character- doesn't know how exactly to pleasure you in the exact what you want, he's doing a phenomenal job. There's still calluses on his fingers that you want to ask where he's gotten them from but you feel the roughness of them against your clit and that and all other thoughts flutter away in a hiss of pleasure. He pulls away just slightly kissing your thigh and whispering words you never thought you'd hear from him. Whispers of his love and adoration for you on and off set, how he loves how you scrunch your face and how he knows this year is just the beginning for you and how he loves you and wants you to be his. It's too much for you, the words circling around in your head as you feel his fingers curl against your g-spot and feel his mouth sucking your clit that you let out a choked off shout, stopping the sound with your forearm against your mouth.
Your breath comes in short pants for a good few minutes as you lean up against a wall, not trusting your legs to hold you up as you try and recover, a fresh spike of arousal hitting you the moment you look down and see Austin's face glistening with your cum. Austin manages to push himself off the ground as you stare at him, his head tilting as he tries to get a read on you. You know you shouldn't know this is unwise but you can't help but messily kiss him, wanting to taste his tongue and taste how it mixes with your taste. He responds in kind, a growl forming in his chest as he tries to deepen it only to have you pull away and push him away from you.
"I'm- You might have ruined this night for me, Austin. Not- this. This was the only good thing I think you did." You shake your head, the anger you feel starting to push its way to the surface after your orgasm has cleared your head. "You kissing me is all everyone is going to talk about because you're still with Kaia." Austin starts to cut you off before you shake your head. "Even if you're broken up, no one knows that but the two of you. I didn't even know that and you decided to kiss me as I'm about to get an award I worked so hard on."
"Y/N- I-" He pauses and looks down at the ground apologetically. "I didn't mean for that to happen. I should have thought about it but I'm not going to apologize for kissing you. I wanted to kiss you, I've been wanting to kiss you-"
Your hand waves him off. "You could have, Austin, you could have broken up with Kaia ages ago or whenever you had this realization but you didn't. And now I look like a fool and like someone who you're cheating on your girlfriend with. Making your break up when it goes public look like my fault."
"Babe-" He starts before you glare at him, pulling up your underwear and straightening out your dress.
"Don't even think about it." Because he does not deserve to call you babe or baby or apologize with words like he's going to try to after what he's done tonight. "I'm- Austin- if you want to be with me like you seem to claim. Figure out what in the hell is going on with you and Kaia and whatever is going on with you as a person and come find me. I have to go answer a million questions about you kissing me now."
Your hand moves to open the door and you think about not looking back, think about walking out the door in a dramatic sort of huff before you sigh and look back. Austin's frowning as he stares at the floor, rubbing his head. Comforting him crosses your mind but you shake your head to yourself as you swing the door open, not even giving Austin the dignity of a farewell as you exit into the cacophony of noise outside the door.
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honeygrahambitch · 5 months
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My favorite hypothesis in this fandom are probably those related to Hannibal's trauma about speaking Lithuanian. And if you are not familiar with the povs, they are basically that Hannibal would use Lithuanian words as love language for Will OR that he would just never want to use that language ever again cause it's way too stained by what happened in his past.
I, in general, love the idea of him using some words only with Will but this time I have a headcanon which considers the second option.
If Will and Hannibal had a baby (doesn't matter how, your choice) I think that Hannibal would manage to overcome his trauma and build something on that only by teaching his child to speak Lithuanian.
I am 100% a hannigram baby would be a multilingual baby. Cause Hannibal speaks french and italian and lithuanian and I'm pretty sure a few other languages as well and he would love his kid to learn some of those.
Will is happy with whatever he decides but he makes a comment at some point, as subtle as he can (not subtle at all). "What other languages can you speak?"
"I can do a bit of japanese." (Makes sense, his aunt was japanese, he had grown up with her at some point)
"That would be a bit too difficult for a toddler." Will goes on, still being subtle.
"I agree." Hannibal says. "But she is doing great with italian."
"I know, I think she taught me a few words yesterday." Will adds. Multilingual kids are not always aware when that they change a few languages in just one sentence. He is thinking of how to approach it. "Maybe you could also try something different?"
"Like german? I thought about that as well."
"No, not german..." He replies thinking of a reason. "It sounds bad."
"Then something slavic? I haven't practiced in years but at some point in my life I could do croatian well enough."
"Why would she need to know Croatian, Hannibal? The alphabet is too hard for a kid who is doing other two languages as well."
"Then what were you thinking? I have exhausted my list, dearest." He is amused with Will who is very neutral towards his impressive skills.
"You haven't exhausted it." Will says. "Yet."
Hannibal gestures for him to go on and explain.
"I was thinking our kid should be somehow more connected to our backgrounds."
The flicker in Hannibal's eyes dies instantly.
"We won't move back to the US and I want her to know a lot of things about it."
"Mhm. The US are sure not the elephant in the room." Hannibal says passively. "Just move on to what you've been trying to say for 30 minutes."
"I am not saying that you have to, I'm just saying that you should teach her Lithuanian. And me as well." He says softly and blinks a few times, trying to analyze the emotional battle that is going on inside Hannibal's head.
"I haven't spoken or written in Lithuanian in 40 years, my skills would lack."
"But that's not the problem, is it? We both know they wouldn't lack."
Hannibal sighs as Will sits on the sofa next to him.
"I know that's a whole tower in your memory palace, which I am trying to access. And I know you don't like it. And I also don't want to push you too far."
They had a lot of time to work better on their communication issues in the last years. You can't solve every conflict with a knife when you are trying to raise a child in a healthy atmosphere.
"I agree with the fact that she should be connected to our backgrounds. It's just... difficult."
"You have said before that Lithuanian reminds you of... everything. But I really believe that if you taught our kid Lithuanian, you wouldn't view it in the same light again. I think you can make something beautiful out of it."
"It makes me remember people that I will never talk to again. And that is something which will always be burnt deep down in my memory palace. If I take up Lithuanian again, then everything else comes to surface too."
"Make something else out of it. Make it the language you speak to your child, not a language that is stained by your past. Use it to call me in stupid cheesy ways that would probably sound like swearwords."
Hannibal cracks a smile when he sees the dumb look on Will's face. He knows he is trying his best not to hurt him.
"You are right, it's not phonetically pleasing. Not like Italian or french or-"
"It's yours, it will be phonetically pleasing to me."
**
Oh and it takes time. And it takes some processing. But they are getting there.
When their daughter is 14 she switches between languages very comfortably.
Will loves to watch her and Hannibal argue in Lithuanian. He has learnt enough words to tell what they are talking about but it's always more entertaining to watch.
Nothing softens Will more than being called mylimasis.
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masezace · 7 months
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little off topic for my blog, but i started watching a new show since a friend mentioned it was good and i'd heard positive things about it, so i just wanted to talk about it a little bit (probably never again after this since this isn't a fandom blog, but it's the only one i have rn so idc it's going here)
the show is Jurassic World Camp Cretaceous, and just going on looks alone, despite my love for dinosaurs and the Jurassic Park franchise i never would have considered it. it appears to be very much for kids, and as i'm in my late twenties now i'm not particularly interested in especially kiddy media. however a friend my age enjoyed it and mentioned it has a canon lgbtq+ couple in it among the main characters, so of course i just had to watch it. i had already been hearing that despite its initial appearance and premise, it was surprisingly good for a kids' show, so i had already been curious, but i was even more keen after knowing there were queer characters, and not even the adults, the kids themselves (in a kid's show?!! what a time to be alive), so i finally sat down and watched it.
[spoiler warning, both minor and major, for the rest of this post btw, so continue reading at your own risk if you haven't seen it yet/are still watching]
the show overall
okay so firstly, i am coming at all of this from the perspective of a writer, so my observations are from a technical standpoint more so than just as a fan of the show. and honestly, it really is a well-written show as a whole. is it geared towards kids? definitely. there are plenty of jokes/gags in it that just don't appeal to me as an adult, but beyond that, there was plenty to appreciate as an adult.
the writing is actually phenomenal? there were several points in the series where i just sat back and mulled over the way a scene went, what the thought process behind writing it was like, how well it was executed, and how important it was to the characters and overall plot.
the suspense is spot on, nothing gets dragged out too long, and i will admit there have been a few scenes throughout that actually got me; i jumped! it's actually scarier than i expected a kid show to be, but i'm so glad they went where they did because it really elevated the experience.
the pacing overall is very good, adequately engaging for kids' short attention spans (and us adhd adults 🥲) but not too short either to a point where things felt abrupt or unfinished. plot arcs are well developed and tied up nicely. also, as a bit of a dinosaur nerd, the array of dinosaurs in the show is super broad and satisfying! very fun stuff.
character element
imo the real gem of this show is the character development. honestly it's just *chefs kiss*
the characters grow and change so much and so realistically over the course of the show, it's honestly so much better and more satisfying than the character growth in most adult fiction/media recently.
the growth in ben (who btw was def my favorite character by the end of s1) and kenji in particular were my favorites and, in my personal opinion, the most interesting. the way ben started out anxious, cowardly, and rule abiding to a fault, then grew into a brave, confident, adventurous little pyromaniac gremlin, then had that stint later in the series where he regressed a bit-questioning himself-until eventually ultimately striking a great balance and really coming into himself was just... peak character writing.
kenji started out overconfident, lazy, and overly concerned with money/status. but that arrogant overconfidence and laziness slowly turned into responsibility, and a desire to protect his found family, and the realization that it's the people in your life that really matter most.
honestly what i mentioned only scratches the surface in terms of those two characters, there's certainly more that can be said about them (as well as all the others) but i'm not really in the mood for a deep dive character analysis atm. just trust me tho when i say these characters are so well done and each one of them have arcs that are super satisfying to watch play out.
queer representation
and as for the queer couple? yasmina and sammy are PERFECT. it was so beautiful watching their relationship grow from one-sided to mutual friendship, to loyal devotion, then to love. they were set up incredibly well and incredibly naturally. i have like, no complaints when it comes to them. i don't even know if there's anything i can say that would add to things, they were just a really awesome couple to watch become canon, they're the beautiful and painfully needed representation we all beg for in tv and movies.
shipping, chemistry, and intent
but oh goodness... probably my only real complaint about the entire show would be how benji (ben x kenji) and kenji x brooklyn (kenlyn? brookji? idk and idrc) were handled. because for all that this show did SO much beautifully right, they really screwed the pooch here, sadly.
i'm gonna start by saying that the writing in this show, as with most, is deliberate. what i mean by this is that despite having no clue who it would be because my friend thankfully did not even spoil me as far as the genders of the queer couple, i clocked yas and sammy as the would-be queer couple as early as season one (actually it was between them and benji, but more on that later). i could already see the chemistry, because it was deliberately written in.
shipping is subjective. anyone can ship any character, and in most cases it's pretty easy to see how there could be (romantic) chemistry between fan pairings based on their personalities, their arcs, etc. and that's okay! ships don't even have to have any canon support to be valid, because shipping is for the fandom, and it's for fun (i have a few rarepairs and crack ships across different media that i just love).
but onscreen/written romantic chemistry is a lot less subjective (to clarify, it is subjective whether or not the chemistry is good, but it's not subjective about whether or not it exists). there are literally scenes written with the sole purpose of building the romantic tension and/or chemistry between planned couples (some of which even have absolutely zero plot relevance, which usually is not advised tbh, and most of which are the cliches/tropes you see in literally any romance ever written, some are just disguised a little better than others. but make no mistake, it's all the same set of cliches. there is nothing new under the sun), as well as intentional, key moments within scenes that have other purposes. they are essential to establish romantic pairings.
and typically, the foundations for these couples are laid VERY early on. always within the first or second season (well, at least they are when the writer actually knows what they're doing and has at least a rough plan/outline for the entire series & characters. this is usually a large part of what separates the good chemistry from the poor chemistry. an author who knows who the couples are going to be and has a plan from the beginning to build them up is going to be more successful in creating a believable relationship with good chemistry. one who does not plan, or makes last minute plans will almost certainly fail, and the couple is just going to suck). when the set of characters you're working with are going to stay the same for most or all of the story, you start immediately.
i don't mean to toot my own horn, because i think it's because i'm a writer so i just pick up on narrative patterns very easily, and pretty much always clock the planned couples within the first few episodes of any series, and by the end i am right like 9 times out of 10.
that being said, do you know whose deliberately written chemistry i also clocked in jwcc? ben and kenji's.
kenji and... brooklyn?
no offense to people who like/enjoy kenji and brooklyn, you are free to love them, but the way their romance was written is... quite possibly the weakest point of the show. it felt like they were just trying to appease the upsetto heteros in charge, because there was definitely another het pairing that had a lot more potential than kenji and brooklyn (hello darius x brooklyn aka darilyn, you would have actually made sense because your relationship had amazing buildup and multiple standout scenes from s1 on. dgmw, i love that we got a m/f strong, supportive, purely platonic friendship out of them, i live for those and we really need more of them. but we could have had that with kenji and brooklyn, or darius and sammy, or ben and yas, literally any other pair instead).
kenji and brooklyn as a couple came out of absolutely nowhere. i honestly think they decided to shove them together last minute, and had no actual plan for them until they were working on s4. because their development barely started at the VERY end of s3 (the abruptness of him caring about her being held hostage so much more than literally anyone else in their group despite them having like zero buildup to that point gave me whiplash), but honestly didn't really even become "meaningful" development until s4, over halfway through the series. the two spend the first 3 seasons basically not particularly gaf about each other individually, only as part of the whole group and on an equal level with everyone else. they otherwise have no deliberate narrative foundation. it just starts in s4 with no prior hinting. which makes their development rocky and difficult to believe. the funny thing is their characters literally have dialogue (in s4) trying to draw comparisons/parallels between them to say that they especially have a lot in common and like??? no? they really don't? not any more so than any other two kids in the group. their relationship just, really falls flat.
it was disappointing to see it take such a massive spotlight in the series for almost all of seasons 4 and 5, overshadowing the friendships that have been the focus of the show and should have remained so, to the point where at times it just felt like i was watching some stereotypical het highschool romance. genuinely, it made s4 & 5 more of a drag to get through. yasammy and ben and yas' growing bond (which by the way was so sweet, it had the strongest queer solidarity vibes good lord, i sure wonder why yas chose ben out of everyone to come out to first, hmmm) were some of the few things that kept me invested, otherwise i would have dropped it if it had leaned much farther into becoming the kenlyn show than it already was. especially when it was that pair so much of the focus was given to, even though we had so readily and perfectly available, the pair that could have, should have been: benji. which finally brings me to:
ben and kenji
benji's foundation was laid in s1. their interactions, the situations they found themselves in, were deliberate (on the writers' part). i'm even gonna go out on a limb here and say the pairings were fully established in s1e3, even with parallels between yasammy and benji (sammy clinging to yas and ben clinging to kenji throughout the episode), and darilyn gets the beginning of their development too.
even though they bicker a lot in the beginning, they clearly care about each other? kenji protects/helps ben multiple times, and there are definitely some looks ben gives kenji at times. at the end of s1, the one who seems the most deeply effected over ben's "death," other than darius (understandably since he's the one who failed to save him), was kenji! immediately after it happens, we get two close up shots, darius and brooklyn then yasmina and sammy. after which, we go back to the whole group with kenji in center frame, the focus is intentionally on him. it is only kenji who drops to his knees at the loss, and then we get a close up of just kenji. he was saved for last, and he was alone in frame (tbf bumpy was in frame too, but i'm talking humans here), which implies his feelings are especially important in this moment. that is the reason for solo close ups.
after ben's "death," kenji takes to always wearing ben's fanny pack, and up until bumpy--who ben cares VERY much about--got separated from them, kenji was the one who (however briefly) took over her care, ensuring she got off the monorail with them, and he's extremely distraught, more than pretty much all of them, when they can't find her, and he's last to leave when they decide to accept that ben's gone. even when they do leave, he's distant and distracted and his mind is clearly still on ben.
other than darius, kenji is the only one (if i'm remembering correctly) to mention ben/say his name after they lost him, upset because he was actually trying not to think about him. he has clearly thought about ben, probably a lot, because it's hard not to be reminded constantly when you wear something that belonged to a deceased loved one. and frankly, he appears to be the only one who dwells on him that much.
when ben reappears alive (which btw he found the group again because of kenji's butter knife, hello), the frames literally purposely focus on kenji's reaction. he's the one in the foreground every time they show him and brooklyn in that scene. he is the first one to say ben's name, the first one to go to him and hug him, and the scene takes special care to highlight kenji's strong emotions at ben's reappearance, lingering on his teary face as the focus for a bit even after brooklyn enters the frame to hug ben (because she is not at all an important element in the scene at that moment). just like when ben "died," the way this scene is written and shot HEAVILY suggests that ben holds significant importance to kenji, specifically. because again, the focus here is on kenji and ben almost exclusively, with brooklyn as only an afterthought lol. and quite frankly literally everyone else's reaction to him being alive was pretty lackluster compared to the special attention they gave to kenji on this.
and then in s3 we have the infamous hat scene, where darius and ben are in the limo and ben sees and mentions kenji's sailor hat, looking sad and sounding like... longing?? then directly after we switch to kenji realizing he forgot his hat?? the scene has no real significance tbh other than to draw a connection between ben and kenji. like, it acts as a transition to switch to the pov of the group on the boat, but it was entirely unnecessary? why not just have darius say something about the others and then show them on the boat? if there were no special relationship between ben and kenji, it would have made far more sense if they really wanted it to be ben to say something, that he sees the hat, and sadly says something along the lines of "i hope the others are okay/doing better than we are right now/etc" which implies that the hat made him think of everyone, their whole group. rather than what we got... which very much implies that he was mostly just thinking about kenji 💀 and then kenji thinking about the hat at the same time ben's looking at it and thinking of kenji. like, this is.... a very blatant connection being made by the writing/directing here.
all of that. so many deliberate connections made between ben and kenji, they had a very solid foundation laid for a romance to develop, and by all intents and purposes one already WAS developing according to the show's own subtext. which was why up until s4 obliterated the idea, i was positive the queer couple in the show was either going to be yasammy or benji. it was extremely obvious imo. but as soon we started getting the typical, loud, cliche "we are going to pair off these characters" scenes for kenji and brooklyn, i knew we were getting yasammy and not benji (to be clear, i'm not at all upset about yasammy, they're beautiful and i love how their relationship was done, i wouldn't have had it end any other way for them. but i do personally prefer benji, i just like their personalities and dynamic more. and i feel they had so much potential that got wasted to make way for a far less interesting pairing between kenji and brooklyn. why can't we have 2 queer couples, huh? and if we really needed a minimum of one hetero pairing to appease whoever needed appeasing, darilyn was right there).
but then??? their like entire bond just gets dropped (honestly ben himself gets pretty heavily sidelined for almost all of the last two seasons, which is criminal imo). mostly so that a rushed kenji x brooklyn can be established. like there are still a few small moments here and there in early s4, and one episode in s5 (ep 10), but from early s4 till pretty much the end of the series we hardly see them have any meaningful conversations or interactions, meanwhile literally every other combo in the group does.
it's so weird? why build up benji so deliberately over the course of multiple seasons just to like, fully discard it for a pairing with far less chemistry, even after the chemistry-building scenes they shared, some of which literally had no other purpose than to affirm their connection? even though they were very sparse, the moments benji had were just so blatant (kenji leaps into the rock crevice right onto the back of a saber tooth to save ben?!!?? like he literally was just willing to exchange his life for him like that?? he basically says that he wasn't really thinking, he just did it. so he moved out of what, emotional instinct, that's what we're meant to intuit from that series of events? implying that he specifically has strong emotion and doesn't think things through when it comes to ben? because he doesn't do that kinda stuff for any of the others in the group! even better, this parallels when sammy jumped on the nothosaurus to save yasmina. and then the way benji look at each other after it's over??? hello??? and then how kenji pulls both brooklyn and ben in for that hug a couple minutes later... side eyeing the writers for that choice. they knew what they were doing there and they were evil for it). i just can't see any reason to have dropped them like they were, after all the development they shared for 3 seasons. confounding. biggest disappointment of the series.
i know this probably reads to some as just "wahh, my ship didn't become canon" nonsense. but that's not why i'm bugged. this wasn't just a ship i liked and wanted canon despite no actual narrative support, as most ships tend to be. this ship did have narrative support. there was intent behind many of their scenes together, lingering looks and little things that matter narratively and are always used to signify a stronger/special connection. and it led nowhere, for no good reason. that bothers me. writing that implies and promises something, but never delivers on it. like a person who never finishes their sentences (think Dr McPhee from Night at the Museum). ultimately it's not a HUGE deal or anything, at the end of the day it's just a ship and just a kids' show. but as a writer, it's just irritating to see something like that be done. what can i say 🤷
conclusion
even despite the wasted potential between certain pairings, and even though i do think the first three seasons were superior to the last two, overall i really enjoyed the show, and for what it was, it was really well-made. the overarching focus was of course on found family and friendship before anything else, which i absolutely love, and it was masterfully done. out of 6 kids, all of them had at least one or two meaningful bonding moments one-on-one with another in the group, so every possible combination had their moment to build strong, believable friendships with each other. i'm just so surprised by how good it was as a whole honestly, good enough to binge over the course of a week. i will happily recommend jwcc to anyone willing to give it a watch regardless of age, because i definitely think there's no age limit for a good story, no matter the medium it's told in. :)
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anatthema-art · 2 years
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Tumblr Men Taxonomy
Ever since the rise of the Spamton fanbase i’ve been seeing a lot of debate on if spamton should be considered a Tumblr Sexyman or not and i think everyone saying he’s NOT is correct, but i’ve been talking with some friends and have realized a pattern in what i’d like to lovingly call a new “branch” of tumblr men/people because it’s an exceedingly common character archetype i feel us as a userbase need to acknowledge and treat separate from your oncelers and the like.
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These guys? they’re all classic Tumblr Sexymen right? well, by consulting the primary sources  talking with my friends who were on the website and in the fandoms during the golden age of tumblr men, i’ve realized a massive part of sexyman culture people FORGET is that their appeal doesn’t just come from them being lanky bastard twinks. (we’ll get to sans later)
Their main appeal from a fandom perception is their actual or perceived HUMANITY. That sounds a little weird considering half these characters arent even human, but hear me out. Characters like the onceler and komaeda from dangan ronpa are just... dudes? Like they’re fucked up dudes, but they’re just GUYS. Sans too, even though not a human person, is still a very ORDINARY guy underneath the fandom-imposed angst. the appeal of these characters came from people seeing a spark of relatability and normalcy underneath all their Issues(tm) and fanwork, while portrayed as the “I can fix him” mentality came from a genuine place of exploration into what these people could BE
characters who AREN’T human, like bill cipher, wheatley, and dare I say the goddamn clock from DHMIS were QUITE LITERALLY humanized to explore a potential reality where they COULD be more of... PEOPLE despite their human nature. If they had become popular in THIS day and age, dare i say they fall into our SECOND category more (and as these interpretations of them are fanon i dare say they DO double class considering the disconnect between these common fan headcanons and fans which prefer the source material versions)
and then you get to characters like alastor or jack frost, who were once entirely human, then becoming inhuman entities, and that small bit of something left in there provides intrigue to explore them as people beyond their fun personality exteriors. 
Now, here’s where I’d like to propose the divide. Some of these characters gained less fan notoriety than others (especially because toby fox seems to be the main supplier of these guys) but they have often been labelled TSMs when I see a pretty distinct through line between them, with a little bit of wiggle room
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The name i’ve been lovingly calling these guys is Disney Channel Eldritch Horrors. I am very open to new propositions however as the name implies that they are both from the Disney Channel and eldritch horrors which isn’t always correct. I haven’t found a similar name that conveys the same VIBES yet, so if anyone has any ideas for a better name i’d love to hear it. basically, the gist of this trope is that we have some weird little guys who are probably inhuman nightmares who’s appeal comes from sheer force of personality. this is where you get your weird little clown men and goofy loveable abominations. (i feel like some homestuck characters might fit this bill but i know absolutely nothing about any of them)
some of them MAY have some sort of tragedy involved in their backstory (spamton, flowey) but the main appeal of liking the character i’d argue comes more from the sheer strength of their characterization, rather than that stuff. Spamton is the closest to breeching this, but i feel for spamton fans i see way more posts about how people wanna throw him in a microwave than discussing the deep ramifications of his backtory (plus, he wasn’t ever a human person either.) Flowey on the other hand, the fandom has split asriel and him SO far as to be entirely separate characters despite the divide being less of a thing in canon, and people who are fans of just flowey tend to focus less on his backstory. 
now you’ll see i’ve also included discord in here, which is to demonstrate that i don’t think the body type for these guys has to exclusively be “some little shaped dude”, because discord tows that line, but his appeal still stays in that sheer force of personality, and he’s also very much NOT a human being. as mentioned earlier, the canon versions of wheatley and that stupid clock also probably fit this bill more. Bill Cipher is where i see this divide the strongest, between the canon character and fan reactions and he’s such a popular character that his fanbase CAN be split between these two camps i think. 
disney channel eldritch horrors i think, can be classified more on creator intent with their existence rather than fan reaction like a classic TSM. some of these characters gained more popularity than others but there’s a very specific crowd who forms to liking these characters over the TSM variety.
now, one last proposal in taxonomy, is that the twink body type vs lil shaped guy is an indicator of which category a character may fall into but it is not the primary factor and can be overridden by personality 
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sans is a weird lil guy in classic toby fox fashion, but i think his status as a Tumblr Sexyman should not be questioned since his fandom was the closest thing to the replication OF the onceler fandom and his appeal was very steeped in his more darker aspects of the character. fizzarolli on the other hand, is very much a lanky beanpole dude, but he also is a stupid chaotic jester man who’s sheer VIBES overpower his body type and his popularity is for that personality. this is a rare phenomenon, but i realized it to be the case through some friends’ OCs, as calling some characters “tumblr sexymen” felt incorrect the deeper i thought about it
so uh... thank you for coming to my ted talk? i have a weird fascination with fan culture around these two specific camps of characters and i felt that i wasn’t able to express why i loved my weird jester men so much until now, as i felt my attachment to them felt a little conflated with a different TYPE of fan culture, and so i spewed my word vomit into something somewhat coherent. 
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cordial-imputresco · 8 months
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One of the most aggravating things in the chonny jash fandom is the feminization and infantilization of heart. If you're my mutual or if we talk a lot you already know where I stand about this but I just need to talk about this with a wider audience before I go insane. Also thanks for 50 followers I promise I'll draw more when I'm not halfway across the globe.
First off, there's no fucking reason to infantilize heart. Genuinely. I think in the album he's only treated like a child when mind called him a boy and a kid. There's no other "proof" other than when MIND LIES ABOUT HEART, and still people write heart like this insolent little kid who cannot do anything for himself.
And, I don't know if these two things are truly related, but as someone who's physically disabled it grinds a particular gear when people make the canon disabled character (anyone who thinks otherwise literally. Why do u want to take rep away from disabled people SOO BADLY) act like a child. I understand it's probably not that for some people but again, why is it so hard to imagine a disabled person who can stick up for themselves?? Heart might rely on soul or mind for certain things since he's blind but he's also his own person. Blindness effects everyone differently but one thing any physically disabled person is sick of it's infantilization and this is still true for fictional characters as well. It's genuinely never okay no matter the context.
Heart is emotionally mature. I'm sorry he is, Heart isn't a 12 year old and Heart has delt with the brunt of the body's emotions for his entire existence. He thinks logically and genuinely makes good points which are rooted in truth while mind makes outrageous claims, constantly makes heart seem like the lesser one and is genuinely so emotionally immature that it's insane. The moment he's given control over their emotions he kinda loses his shit and cannot handle it (the end line of tha and the two songs between THA and TME prove this) and yet people think heart is worse with emotions. Be so honest and give me proof of this other than when he was CONDEMNED TO APATHY.
And if u want proof for that PLEASE just listen to the bidding. Or TSE. Or literally any song that isn't about heart wanting to end his life. He sticks up for himself and specifically he talks back to mind which some fic authors genuinely just forget about?? And I get it write characters how you want to but god am I tired of seeing heart and mind argue and heart could just be replaced with a doll who says the same 3 things. "That's not true :((" "you do that too :(((" and "*sniffle* ur wrong >:((" WHYYYY ARE YOU SO INSISTENT ON MAKING HEART DEPENDENT ON OTHERS THAT HE CANNOT EVEN TALK BACK TO MIND OR SOUL. Heart harbored anger and hate but it seems like some people ignore that and just place him into this box EXACTLY LIKE MIND DID. Why did the mind gaslighting work on you /ref .
Also, since heart is "the emotional side" people lovee to make him feminine and small and it's so upsetting. First off, this idea that emotions r feminine pisses me off because it's just regurgitating misogyny and I'm sick of pretending like it's not. People fucking. Yaoi-ify (only word I can think of right now sorry) heart and mind by making mind this trad masc tall guy with a strong jaw while heart has a softer jawline and is usually smaller. It's so aggravating to me that fanon heart is this soft boi with no genuine fight to him while canonically we have SEEN HIM TALK BACK AND BE MEAN TO MIND??? I get this fandom has a lot of teenagers in it but holy shit can people not do the same shit we were doing 8 fucking years ago with tomtord.
And just one last thing, stop trying to aggressively masculinize mind just because he's emotionally immature and has a deep voice. He's not this intellectual genius debater who is dishing facts towards heart and the few things he does say that are true he says alongside actual lies about heart. Write what you want and draw what you want but please understand the irl implications of your works and understand what type of ideas are you peddling by doing what you're doing.
TLDR: stop being fucking weird about heart and treat him like a grown ass man. He's not a child.
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Bye to Wind and Lightning
TLDR: I AM WHINY AND IM GOING TO MOVE BLOGS TO A SMALLER ONE WHERE NOBODY KNOWS ME. EITHER @kikuneesama FOR GENERAL STUFF OR @konohamaru-sensei FOR ANIME STUFF.
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Did you know that in 2020 when the pandemic held us all in a chokehold I decided to reread One Piece and Bleach, but consciously decided not to touch Naruto, as if I knew that I'd be sucked in real bad if I read it again? I was right. In 2021, I randomly thought "No, I will read it now" and then I did and boom I talked about nothing else for that summer and to channel my thoughts I made this blog right here separate from my main and not as a sideblog. I wanted to start completely over at a different place.
I had a terrible summer in 2021, constant mental breakdown. I don't want to bore you with the details because you don't care, but just being back doing the stuff I loved when I was 16 was such a blessing. I was truly happy in the first months here, especially with the discord servers and the oc talk and the friends I made. My boyfriend commented on it all the time, that I looked so very happy. And I was! But these things never stay.
The problem with me is, I want community, I want to talk headcanons and to bitch about characters I don't like and promote ships I love and cry and laugh and hug all of you for liking the same things as me and at the same time I'm terrified of rejection, of people hating me, of people spreading lies behind my back. I guess school does traumatise you in some way.
I can't survive in a cutthroat fandom like this one, I take things too personally too quickly. I don't understand that if you, a normal person with your own wishes, likes a thing I don't like or dislike a thing I like it doesn't mean you automatically hate me. You are just a different person and that is ok! It's not you. It's me. NO I'm not just saying that. It really is me.
Did you know that when I started out here I didn't tag my stuff? Especially not my OC stuff (and I still rarely tag it). The fear that someone might find it, hate on it, send me hate, make fun of it etc, sits so deep that I rather have my work not be seen at all. Yet, I need the attention to keep going because without the reblogs and likes and asks I feel like an utter failure.
My boyfriend says I am not good with the public eye on me and he is probably right. I envy those of you who can stand their ground and be self confident in their arguments. I envy those who don't care what others say, who can block and move on, who don't get a knot in their stomach when someone they had nice interactions with unfollows. I shouldn't care, but I do.
On my first tumblr blog I never looked at my followers, I never got asks either or was deep in fandom or anything, but I reblogged my stuff and posted my thoughts and was feeling good. I love tumblr, its the best social media out there for a reason. Yet, with this one, I got so self conscious about my followers, about what I can and can't say. If my presence would offend or not etc etc.
I was kinda looking forward to 1000 Followers because it is an insane number, but now at 997 I'm throwing in the towel. Isn't that like giving up before the finish line? Maybe, but I'm so tired and I want to be unknown again. I want to be nobody again. I want the naruto fandom to move on and forget I was ever here.
So I'm leaving! Sorry, I guess! At least for a good while. I might be back to finish the requests still pending on this account and then disappear again, but I don't know if I'll ever permanently come back. If you by any chance really, really really care about my presence, you can find me under @kikuneesama as a general spam blog with all sorts of things and under @konohamaru-sensei for anime-only stuff. This is also where my Naruto posting will be moving.
If you are a moot I will follow you from Kikuneesama again.
Thanks, I guess, for over two years of hanging out. I'm sorry I am such a lame loser.
One thing is for sure: Though I am moving to a blog named after Konohamaru, Kakashi will always be my love.
tschüss und auf wiedersehen, ~Nisi
PS: I'll q this a couple of times so I'm sorry if you have to see it a few times in the next few days. I swear I'll be gone after that.
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corey-beepington · 6 months
Note
Hello! After re-watching your Deltarune short film, Eviction Day, I can confidently say that I:
Am SO happy to find that you have a tumblr blog! :D
Absolutely LOVE that film, despite not being in the Deltarune fandom but still intrigued by the concept/story of Spamton and the Addisons - I genuinely think this is perhaps the BEST interpretation of Spamton's story (and possibly the best Deltarune fan project) I've ever seen!
I'd like to ask a couple of questions regarding the short film if that's okay with you:
What parts of the Addisons' personality did you want to show through your designs (the way they wear their jackets, their eye colour, body type, hairstyle, etc.) and why?
What inspired you to focus on Blue Addison's perspective for the film?
While I understand the references to Spamton Neo with the 'twisted angel' imagery, am I correct in theorising that 'Big Shot' equated to the whole angel thing Spamton became obsessed with (please correct me if this is not the case)?
(Btw I absolutely adore your design of Blue Addison - he's adorable and looks like he'd give the best hugs! And I think he definitely needs a hug after what he witnessed in the short film.)
Thanks for enjoying my silly short film...first time ive ever gotten a big ol string of questions about it sooooo -puts on my reading glasses screen or whatever would be the equivalent for a silly little television-
There we go, i do love talking alot about what goes into a cartoon sooooo
here goes the Ramble
I love the addisons, and I LOVE when people give them individual body types instead of copy/pasting the same skinny twink..I think it adds alot more personality to them..especially since their entire personality is...I guess having no personality. I like to think they have an "advertising" personality which is copy/paste but once theyre off duty, they're themselves. I wanted to show this with one scene in Eviction Day where Blue Advertises when trying to rehearse what to say.
As for each Addison's design itself...Well..I knew the full group of addisons would have very very little screentime, yet I wanted the audience to FEEL for them ya know?
Actually, in the first first first draft of Eviction Day, the diner scene was MUCH longer...but it made Pink WAAAAAY too unlikeable...and I didn't wanna animate all of it.
So I had to make the designs count
In general, I love them with blacked out eyes, it makes them feel more...robotic...even a tad bit frightening...also a fan of their eye's being glowy and think a black scalera would amplify it. I remember seeing blacked out eyes for addisons one day when scrolling instagram..I don't remember the artist sadly, but I latched onto that hc almost instantly.
Their suits are pretty copy-paste with the exception of Pink who doesnt wear an undershirt and lets his fluff sort of hang out...it feels very Pink to me...speaking
Anyway, each design individually
Pink
Pink is..well Pink, very sharp, probably the one who gets the most sales and thus designed to be the most "conventionally attractive" out of the bunch. As mentioned above, I wanted to show how proud he is by him being the only addison who doesn't wear an undershirt and preferring to let his fluff hang out.
He's only in a few shots..but he exists to well...foreshadow...I mentioned in another ask, I don't see Pink as a jerk, more as a guy overcompensating on his hate towards Spamton to cover up deep down missing him and being worried. He worried once Blue shows signs of distress.
Very superficial.
Yellow
My yellow, unlike popular hc, is far more chill, a gentle giant if you would...like he's a guy you can depend on, but very shy despite his looks. He never appears until the end at the Trash Zone so this gives me the "he's shy" hc...or he's also not much a seller. I see Yellow as a guy who sets up his group's store front...and probably beats up viruses with his bare hands, you know the behind the scenes backstage guy.
He's dependable and friendly, and that's why he is how he is.
Orange
He exists.
Like...I'm not super attached to Orange...So he's just...Orange...generic...I see him more as holding a managerial position over the group over selling (he does try to scam you)..but he was never doing anything major in the short so he just...Exists I guess.
BLUE
BOY BABY BOY. HE IS MY FAVORITE.
Blue strikes me as the friendliest and most huggable of the group, in game he doesn't scam you....or even try to...he just gives you free samples...and you can take as many as you want!
I wanna think he's not a great salesmen, but he's built at "marketable plushie" size so he can at very least draw people in...considering your intent to hug him, I think it's working.
For some weird reason, a handful of people have asked in a "is this a fetish" way or even been upset at me for making blue plus sized and to that I say
go outside.
You'll find that people of all shapes exist in the real world <3
Just for you anon, here's some old concept art. I wanna give a big big thanks to my friend SPAMiGO who helped me tie down their designs. I'm not the best character designer, so he was a huge help in making these designs nice!
Tumblr media
2. Why Blue?
Awhile ago, I made an animation called "Spamton's Biggest Deal"
Alot of people liked it for some reason.
I wanted to do something like that again...I honestly didn't quite like this cartoon, it was rushed and ew old spamton art...
I didn't want it being my only contribution to the Deltarune fandom...I was feeling...quite ambitious....
So it crawled so Eviction Day could run.
I'm a horror artist by nature, I LOVE horror and I wanted to MAKE another horror deltarune cartoon because it was VERY heavily requested...but i didn't know what
Over the summer in 2022, I ended up cosplaying the Blue Addison..in my research...I found the line about garbage noise...
I think every scary thing that could be done with spamton has been done.
But this
This detail was so overlooked.
There was SO MUCH horror to be had in this scene that I just HAD to do something with it.
And so I wrote the first script in august...I really fell in love with the blue addison around this time and wanted to share my love of this overlooked character with other people.
Also I ship blue addison and spamton really hard and struggled to find Content
(disclaimer because someone will ask: I do not headcanon the addisons as brothers)
So this was another way to spread my gospel...albeit subtly....
Ships do things to a person.
When Undertale's anniverssary came around, I re-posted it to twitter and asked
"why the hell did you guys like this"
I got alot of good answers, i asked what was good, what was bad, what you'd like to see
And then weaved it all together.
I officially began on the short in september of 2022.
but tldr: i liked the character, i liked the horror, 123 addisons making out cyber cafe.
3.
Ah...the mural....
Ok I'll spill the beans, the mural was the very first shot that beamed itself into my head when Eviction Day was barely a thought...just the image of Blue Addison staring at something...horrible...
It was the sole reason I made the film
I plan on doing a more elaborate post on my patreon in the future about it because there was SO MUCH thought that went into this one 5 second shot.
as for your question specifically
There's many ways to interperet the mural tbh...I wanna think Spamton saw himself as a savior...an angel...one who would bring the light and become big..bigger than anything
A God.
or something like that.
That's all the time for now anon. I hope this answered your questions....as I said I will ramble on and on about pre-production stuff, sometimes ill throw stuff up on the patreon as well (the animatic is there now actually) if you wanna support more stuff like it too!
Now go take a rest...your eyes must be so sleepy reading all this
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atla-recluse · 1 year
Text
Some Not-So-Gentle Reminders and Points for the Gravity Falls Fandom (And for Fandoms in General) to Consider, Especially the Dishonest and Clueless “Apologists”
Note: So here’s my official first Gravity Falls post. I’m not exactly a new fan, though I am having a second wind of interest and appreciation for it and everything in it. For this particular post, I guess I just really felt like getting some thoughts off my chest and just kept going after that. Sorry for lack of pics/direct evidence. This was supposed to be quick and most of this stuff should be pretty obvious if you just pay attention and take the bias goggles off. I might come back and add images/media later. I’ll gladly correct any mistakes too, big or small, if need be.
Now consider this:
- Stan, in the scene where he allegedly “broke” Ford’s science fair project, didn’t even touch it! I repeat, Stan DID NOT touch Ford’s science fair project! What he touched, was the table it was set on when he slammed his fist down! Yet he was and still is blamed for it breaking by everyone in the fandom and show, even himself. How has this common claim so rarely been questioned by a fandom that prides itself on being skeptical and solving mysteries? Just use your eyes and rewatch the scene, people!
- The fact that Ford was so quick to accuse Stan—the one person in the whole world out of his entire life that had supported him through thick and thin and always protected him—of breaking his project based on minimal evidence at best, implies that Ford already had a low opinion of Stan by that point and probably much earlier. It implies that even if he did love Stan, he definitely didn’t believe in him. No one had ever believed in or supported Stan until Soos came into his life, followed by Wendy, Dipper and Mabel.
- No matter how you try and slice it, Ford had been outright shown time and time again, through both words and actions, to have not appreciated Stan’s love or devotion to him, or their closeness. At least not outwardly, to us viewers. His true feelings might not always show and we do get some glimpses here and there of his thoughts on Stan, but appearances matter a lot! Someone being open to doing things with another person, seemingly to keep up an air of decency and calm while they’re trapped in the same place together, doesn’t mean that person appreciates the other. It doesn’t even necessarily mean that you want a relationship with that person or to reconcile.
- Ford’s usage of the words “suffocating” and “meant for something greater” when talking to Dipper about familial relationships and specifically the boy’s connection with his sister Mabel, besides many other talked-to-death things, is very telling and shows how much he was terrified of the intimacy he had with Stan. There’s literally no nicer way to put it. He didn’t just want to escape the bullying he received or the crappy town he grew up in. He wanted to escape Stan. At some point in his adolescence, Ford seemed to have grown to view Stan as an obstacle to his success, a weight on his shoulders, a leech or spotlight hog of some sort, or just a painful reminder of awful experiences. This in itself is a very realistic reaction and when you look at the examples, the case for Ford truly being proud of what he had with Stan looks very shaky. Despite what I’ve noted here, I do think Ford did and does greatly love Stan deep down. But he also seemed to be afraid of something, which seems to have led to him wanting to run away from his feelings—and from Stan.
- Again, it’s possible to love someone dearly but still harm them or view them as harmful to you or for both of you to harm each other. If you really want to view Ford’s immediate discarding of what was supposedly both his and Stan’s dream, along with Stan himself, in a somewhat more positive (well, more selfless) light, you could argue that Ford thought he was holding Stan back (instead of solely vice versa). After all, if Stan did depend on Ford as much as we see him do in the series to the point where they were practically a (mis?) matched pair of socks, it could very well be that Ford felt like he was forcing Stan to be the ‘dumb but brawny and funny’ twin to his ‘smart but weak and weird’ self. Maybe he figured Stan shouldn’t have to keep defending him and making a fool of himself to make Ford happy and feel less alone in his ‘freakishness’ into adulthood. Perhaps he thought some separation was what they both needed to finally grow into two fully-fledged, separate beings.
- There’s an argument to be made that Ford is/was extremely narcissistic and insecure. You know what many narcissists (with or without NPD) have in common? They have low self-esteem. Low self-esteem often born from a childhood of emotional abuse and neglect and constantly being told there’s something wrong with you, that you’re not and will never be good enough. Low self-esteem and a need to hide it and look for ways to avoid rejection or coming rejection, even if it’s just perceived. It can be easy to forget that Stan and Ford were both treated terribly inside the home as well as outside it. Ford was on some level the golden child whereas Stan was the scapegoat. There are some narcissistic dynamics going on here. (They’re very prevalent in families, you know?) Childhoods like theirs are known for breeding such people. This means that Ford may have saw himself in a negative light but felt Stan’s love was exacerbating the problem because he was being led to believe that Stan was a problem; The problem child.
- Stan shows signs of extreme codependency to the point of having traits that practically mimic that of BPD/EDD/EUPD (including insecurity and low self-esteem as well). He’s clearly terrified of abandonment yet of closeness too, at the same time. This is likely also caused by his and Ford’s childhood. Many people with BPD come from homes like theirs, too. Now I understand these are cartoon characters, so the urge to diagnose, while understandable, is typically pointless. However, if we’re speaking theoretically on which disorders match up with characters the most based on what we see and find out about them, then yes, Stanley seems to be extremely codependent—especially toward Stanford—and likely suffers from other emotional trauma that was made far worse after he was kicked out.
Do we ever see it so much as implied that this concerns Stanford though? That he sympathizes with whatever current plight his brother is going through even once outside of the finale of all times, particularly before Stanley had seemingly already been erased out of existence? I don’t think we do. Well, maybe once. Stanford gave Dipper a pretty and high tech tie to give to Stanley... I guess he wanted to throw his poor, dumb dog of a brother a bone. (I kid, I kid. But not really.)
You can’t even claim that it was the same the other way around and say that Stan doesn’t pay mind to Ford’s struggles or want to help him out of them ever, because the show often goes out of its way to illustrate to us the opposite and often also makes it clear just how much Stan adores Ford. Spending their childhood protecting and sticking up for him. Dropping/giving up everything for Ford repeatedly. Being concerned over Ford’s sanity/behavior when he visited him that fateful day in 1982. Still holding out hope he’ll change his mind on their old dream despite the hell he’s been put through. Forgiving Ford for everything even after he almost ‘dies’ to clean up the problem that, mind you, FORD CAUSED TO BEGIN WITH. Ford “ruined” his own life! (And is implied or explicitly shown to have had a hand in bringing about the intense hardship of others’ lives. E.g. Stanley, Fiddleford....the evidence is there.)
- In fact, there can be no talks about “who was more responsible for Weirdmageddon” without acknowledging who was the first one to shake the devil’s hand: Ford! I mean, of course it’s mainly Bill’s fault, he’s the villain! The point is that it’s harder for others to do wrong when we refuse to help them. We know romantic relationship cheaters are jerks but what about those who knowingly help the cheaters cheat? They never get a pass, now do they? Then the same can especially be said for Stanford, who did not refuse to help Bill—even despite warnings about summoning him—until it was too late and the cat was miles away from the bag. At that point he had no one to blame but himself for the problem continuing to escalate. I mean, don’t you remember the many questionable ways he tried to contain it?!
- Stanley is not even close to being the dumb twin. Not in anyway. On top of all the skills he’s learned over the decades, he’s actually implied to be close to as smart or even equal to Stanford. His whole life is actually a testament to how amazing he truly is at surviving and, given the right tools, thriving. You know what some of you sound like when you have nothing but crap to say about this main’s relatively positive traits, irrespective of his actual wrong-doings? Stanford Pines, pre-realization of all the ways he has screwed things up for those around him. You know, who the man was only after he erased Stanley’s memory. Though a lot of you seem to self-insert and project onto Stanford to an unpleasant extent anyway, so I guess that’s not surprising. You know who else you end up sounding like? Filbrick Pines. Yeah, that one. I don’t know, seems a bit disturbing to be. You know who else you often end up sounding like? Bill Cipher, if I remember properly. In fact, wasn’t it implied that much of Stanford’s negative views of Stanley and not needing family, was influenced by Bill? Hmm.
- You can not blame Stanley for pushing Stanford into the portal while completely ignoring the context of the scene and all the actions that lead up to that point. Ford sent Stan a vague postcard (implying he may have known how to reach Stan all along). Ford allowed Stan inside and in the basement where things were bound to be the most dangerous. Ford told Stan to take the book and get as far away from him (“sail as far away as you can. To the edge of the Earth”) as possible despite knowing their were a lot of tender feelings there, especially when it came to the two of them sailing together. Ford started the fight when Stan tried to burn the book he was given, that Ford wanted to get rid of anyway! Ford pushed Stan while trying to get said book back onto a bunch of buttons which activated the portal to begin with! The accidental lever turn came after that and the Stan accidentally pushing him into the portal was just the nail in the coffin of their faux family reunion that Ford caused to happen. 
No one made Ford choose an unsuspecting Stan as a tool and means to an end for the mess he put himself and possibly the whole world in. That was his choice. Either they’re both to blame or Ford is solely to blame. What you’re not going to do is put the entirety of the blame on Stan. Call me every name in the book for this, but I believe the BIGGEST innocent victim in that scenario was Stan! You don’t need to blame him for every single terrible thing that happened to Ford because Stan already blames himself for everything! Even when it doesn’t look like it could have been him responsible for it! He already is full of shame and remorse that fill every step he takes every single day. He worried every day for thirty years that the blood of one of the only people in his life that he’s loved, may have been on his own hands.
- I think it’s possible that one of the reasons Ford latched on to Bill despite all the red flags, was because Bill reminded him of Stanley. He wanted a friend. He wanted his best friend back. Bill played the role almost perfectly—until he didn’t anymore and Ford realized his mistake. This could mean that there’s a chance he realized the biggest difference between Stan and Bill since he did end up contacting the former after Bill’s betrayal, and in his own words, chose Stan because he trusted him. He still trusted Stan. It could have been less than when they were children though and all that time with someone that reminded him of Stan yet ended up betraying him ‘too’ may have caused him to start associating Stan with Bill. I can imagine that after he was sucked into the portal, Ford’s associating Stan with painful betrayal may have worsened. But bringing him out of the portal could have slightly improved it. And seeing as they finally sailed away by the end, he realized must have he was wrong to ever associate them, if he had before. I bet they’re probably still sailing around the world together over a decade later right now.
- If the thought of both twins not returning home and choosing to live with their grunkles and exploring gravity falls/world and sailing the sea together, bothers you, ask yourself how it would have been soooo much better if only Dipper had stayed while Mabel went back home? You see the issue with that now? I won’t argue whether or not it’s okay for a 12 - 13 year old boy to stay in a far off place with an adult family member. After all their parents didn’t mind sending them alone to Gravity Falls for the summer to live with their great uncle anyway, which was likely dangerous/irresponsible of them for many reasons. I just think it’s suspicious that some people can only see the issue if someone suggests that both twins should have left their parents and life in California behind to resolve the issue of the apprenticeship and keeping close to one’s sibling all at once.
- The Stan Twins told their story in ATOTS but only we, the audience, actually see it play out. The characters don’t. The way brothers explained it may have made it seem to each other like the other still had no sympathy for them and didn’t think that what they did was wrong. Stan even called Ford’s dream college “stupid” while the flashback was being shown and he was explaining his side of the story. The fact that neither apologizes for the painful things they helped contribute to in their young adulthood which affected them, probably didn’t help either.
- In one of the scenes from the ATOTS flashback, Ford yelled at Stan “Help me Stanley!” as he was slowly sucked into the portal. He wanted Stan to save him! These were Ford’s final words to him that Stan internalized and are what Stan immediately set out to do! He likely worked for decades with these last words in mind, not knowing whether Ford would still be alive when he brought him back to their world! Ford even threw the book that they’d fought over to Stan before he disappeared. How do you think that looked from Stan’s POV? Like a visual cry for help on top the audible one I bet! Also, Ford had some awful nightmares thanks to Bill. It was terrible what was done to him and pushed him to the point of insanity. However, he wasn’t the only one with fears, regrets and a troubled past. Imagine what Stan’s nightmares must have been like, especially the ones with Ford in them? The parts of Stan’s dreamscape that we got a view of were depressing. The dreary colors, the symbolism...
- Both sets of twins are extremely sensitive to and immediately take things to heart, especially insults/criticism and all of them can at times act less mature than their actual ages. They all feel inadequate in some way. They just showed these traits to different extents and unhealthily cope in different ways. Be careful with their feelings and what you say to them because all of them wear a front as a cover for protection. They also all occasionally lack common sense, act silly and say and do the oddest things at times. Plus they all need someone who genuinely loves them dearly to hold them down and would die for their family (or die of heartbreak if they didn’t get there in time).
- Stan and Ford after decades apart and so much animosity between them, are sailing on a ship. They could be together in the middle of nowhere very often. Knowing of all those negative feelings that were present, it leads me to think about all the ways their trip could have gone wrong. Many understand that their father was abusive, but what if they were or became abusive to each other? I don’t want to believe this would happen and I doubt we were supposed to consider such a thought. However, the terrible possibilities are still there. At worst, I prefer to think that things are at times bitter but then sweet.
- It’s very fascinating to me how so much “Stanford Defense” seems to be built upon throwing other characters under the bus to make him seem less culpable for his own choices. It boggles my mind how the same people who claim that characters such as Stan and Mabel are never questioned on anything (laughable to say this point, especially coming from them) seem to be the ones doing everything in their power to keep people from so much as voicing displeasure anymore at any part of Ford’s character. I swear I’m ever seeing the same names on different sites arguing with people about how wrongly ridiculed he is. It’s really is starting to look like all the “Stanford gets soooo much unnecessary HAAAAATE and is always bAsHeD” people are trying to take things in the opposite direction. Which is just as upsetting if not more so, because such behavior only leads to the shutting down of discussion and critique. That’s horrible for a fandom to go through, just like the other way around. Can’t Gravity Falls do better than that?
- Your faves won’t ever be every single person’s faves. Sometimes people will even dislike a character that you like. That’s fine! That’s life! Just don’t forget while loving said character, that this does not have to mean you approve of everything they say or do. You don’t need to jump to one’s defense whenever someone makes a point. Especially a valid one that can’t truly be disproven anyway. It makes you look delusional and like you’re in a parasocial relationship with that fictional character. Learn and never forget the difference between arguing an important point with societal implications and solely defending a character for the sake of it, please.
- Mental illness is not a joke or something to wear as a badge of honor. It’s also not something that, if noticed, should be swept under the rug. In the case of fictional characters, I think it’s quite admirable when people can see certain traits of themselves or their loved ones in characters past the stereotypical ones, but that also gives us a chance to talk about those traits and just how hard it can be to live with them and why sympathy and amnesty is so important to healing and moving forward. I believe Stan and Ford especially show signs of extreme mental illness in the show that I have a hunch were placed in them on purpose. This seems to be one of those cases where we’re supposed to see our own family dynamics in them.
- It’s asinine to claim to love a character but ignore or even outright deny their faults and flaws, even when they admit to it! If you love someone, love all of that person, even if you’re often at odds with them. When someone says they love Stanford for literally deny things about him that are proven to be true, I’m left wondering if that person actually loves him—or just the idea of him. Same with any other character this happens with. Enough with the need for our favorite characters to be pure, perfect versions of ourselves. Enough with the need to wipe away issues and to go as far as making up traits for the character, or even stealing their traits from another to make him or her look better and the other character look worse. You’re in effect masking what depth is actually present and risking putting a bad taste in the mouth of those that are neutral on them; souring them to the character and even fandom. 
- Even the characters with potential who were unfortunately underutilized—such as Caryn Pines, the mother of the Stan Twins—still tended to fill their main roles in the story pretty well, even despite time restraints. Some of these and other side characters even managed to gain their own small group of fans and fan-creators on their behalf, within the larger fandom. That is pretty wild and deserves some praise. Nice one writers!
- Sometimes it really does help to just remove yourself from the story and just be meta with your takes, i.e. to distance yourself when discussing something because it helps make you less biased and more evidence-based. There are times where we really do see something in a character that indeed was not there or meant to be there. Death of the author can only allow for so much leeway in interpretations. Authorial intent will always matter. This show was very detailed and there are so many things you only noticed after looking again. Some theories exist that imply the whole story for the Pines Family would have mattered no matter what in-universe. We need to be careful when arguing things, we may be/end up wasting our time even more than we think. Oh and ...cartoon logic haha. Also no one loves or will ever love the Pines Family like the Pines Family can. Nor like the creators/writers themselves do. We also can not understand them the way the ones who made them can. When in doubt, it tends to be best to just trust them and their intentions, and your gut as a last resort.
- The Gravity Falls ending was meant to be a happy, fairytale-like ending. That’s how it’s been implied to be the case by the creator (probably not with the company known for fairytales, Disney, even asking him to) and is the reason why every character was so quick to forgive and forget, and why everyone but the ‘super bad guys’ got their ideal ending. Sometimes it’s really not about what would have been the most interesting or profound (or logical) to viewers when making directive choices but about what would make us feel most at peace.
Note: This was all written with mostly one perspective in mind. There are however, many others ones and I do think lots of them are valid takes too, some of them I may even agree with as well and may have hinted at. Also, although it can be hard to tell with so many questionable decisions made, things not done that should have been and even some writing errors here and there, I do think all four of the Pines Family members and those adopted into the family, truly love each other and express it in different ways. That’s what this whole show is really all about and how it ended: With Love for Family prevailing.
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joyswonderland1108 · 1 year
Text
This fucking fandom
Ah fuck i can’t even fucking get sick in peace!! Just when i allow myself to rest a bit from posting shit happens and i find myself coming back here to rant or whatever i should call it at this point.
So the other day i was writing a post as a follow-up to this post : 
But i just deleted it, i was like uh yeah maybe i’m being a bit too harsh.. WRONG!! I knew this fucking fandom didn’t deserve no pity, my bad i should’ve just posted it. 
So in my follow-up deleted post i was saying how i didn’t want anyone to come to me with that bullshit excuse of “But we’re streaming, we’re basically working hard for those achievements to happen so why won’t Letter be about Army since we work hard for him” and honestly this is where the entitlement comes from. Some people believe that just because they stream, buy and post that means they have all the rights of ownership over the members, yes OWNERSHIP.
I then carried on by explaining how not everyone who fought to get Jimin on top wasn’t necessarily because they love him but for some they just wanted one member of BTS to be on top out of pettiness towards other fandoms and they needed to flex, didn’t matter which member as long as it’s a BTS member who will keep BTS’s name superior, and it so happened to be Jimin this time. 
Now you may wonder why tf am i bringing up a post i actually ending up deleting or actually didn’t even post? Well with Yoongi’s upcoming release.. I don’t even need to say it now do i? I guess you’re pretty much getting what i’m trying to say but let me just put words out here. 
I’m not here to talk about how close Yoongi’s release is to Jimin’s, this is something they probably went over with each other and with the company it has nothing to do with me or us or anyone else can’t really say much about it but what i can talk about is Army’s hypocrisy. When i posted about Yoongi’s D-Day announcement i clearly mentioned that I personally along with some other Army i know would either try to find or make a Yoonmin focused playlist, since Jimin promo period was cut short, we still wanted to keep pushing it while still streaming for Yoongi. 
Now what is happening is mfrs who are dropping Jimin completely to focus solely on Yoongi. When Smf pt2 dropped and the whole FACE album released, playlists were still encouraging streams for Smoke Sprite and On the street, we were still trying to keep the boys at higher ranks doing the effort to do a proper streaming for Jimin all while not dropping any other member. 
Now those people do realize that Yoongi will have his album trending from now till June, while Jimin won’t necessarily be able to still keep up with a proper promotion schedule because that would be interfering with Yoongi’s release, and fucktards couldn’t even bother keeping up with streaming or at least think about a Yoonmin playlist too. It infuriates me how for me despite being Jikook biased i’m still willing to do as much effort for Yoongi as i did with Jimin because i’m OT7 after all but assholes out there pretending to be OT7 yet became completely blinded. 
And for some fucking reason Jimin or Jikook biased Army (not solos) are all so excited for D-Day and preparing to stream for both, so tell me why tf can’t other Army do the same thing? Was messing with that one other fandom all it was for them? “Let’s get Jimin that #1 to piss them off” is that it? He worked his ass off to share something very personal with us, shared his struggles, a deep and dark part of himself just for Army to treat it as a threat to other idols and fandoms? 
I swear this motherfucking fandom is toxic and unhealthy, as Joon said “You changed” Aka you fucking suck! I don’t even know how to put anymore words i’m just trying to recover but God fucking dammit!
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petrichor-idyllic · 1 year
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Hii,
I love your writing :)
Would you be able to do a male reader X newt oneshot? There isn't a lot of representation for the male readers in this fandom despite newt being canonically gay haha
Idm about any specifics, I'm just desperate for male reader material
Thanks :D
Omggg yes I can absolute do that. It's really sad that Newt doesn't get enough written about him with men, and I am more than willing to provide some much needed content.
Also, yes, I know I have a lot of Minho requests to get through, but I just had to write this.
LOVER BOYS
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MASTERLIST | NEWT MASTERLIST
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SUMMARY: See above. Male!Track-hoe!Reader x Newt. You've always had a thing for Newt, but when the new boy Thomas arrives and you watch Newt slowly grow interest in him, suddenly you realise how much he means to you.
Based on the movie for simplicity's sake. Thomas and the other Gladers don't know Thomas' name yet, but I do and I'm using it to make this easier to read.
WARNINGS: Inappropriate language, sappy shit.
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Newt was the first person you'd ever spoken to. Obviously, that isn't literal, but for someone with no memories of his previous life, it was what you were going off of.
You showed up like every other boy. You woke up scared shitless in the Box, got dragged on the Tour with Alby, and spent the Bonfire questioning your existence.
So, nothing out of the ordinary.
But when Newt held out his surprisingly strong hand out to you and said, "It's alright, Greenie, you're safe 'ere." You knew he was telling the truth, even if you were still stuck in the grease-filled, feet-smelling Box.
And he was right.
Life in the Glade is a bit hit or miss. If you get a good job and find the right friends, then it's basically paradise on Earth. If you ignore the constant looming threat of Grievers and the reliance on supplies from the Box.
You're one of the lucky ones.
With a pull towards gardening and a natural with plant life, being a Track-hoe seemed like the perfect job to you. And it's not anything to do with Newt also being a part-time gardener. Not at all.
Other Gladers notice your level of skill dropping when he's around, also helping with the pruning. You can't help it- it's hard to ignore Newt. Especially when he wears that tank top with the too-big armholes.
He's not the type you thought you'd be attracted to, but he is. His blond, floppy hair and deep brown eyes pull you in every time he looks at you. And he looks at you too.
He really looks at you. And you are exactly the type he expected to be attracted to.
It's just a small crush for you, though. Nothing important. Just a simple attraction to a cute boy that you live with, and teenagers aren't exactly known for their rational feelings. So, that's all it was for a while- a dumb school-boy crush.
But, it doesn't help that Newt is well-liked. He's one of the few people occupying the serene place that most Gladers can't say much bad about. He's always level-headed and reasonably nice to Greenies- not to mention he's the second in command, so he's a man in power too. A man in power who doesn't use it to take advantage of those around him.
And he's nice to you. Some people in the Glade can be confrontational and harsh- probably due to the sucky environment you've spent the only life you've ever known. But Newt isn't. He makes sure everyone is okay and doing well, but it always feels like he takes extra care of you and makes an extra effort to talk to you.
Despite being in some form of denial, your small crush began snow-balling pretty quickly.
Though, you knew not to get your hopes too high, especially with all the pussy talk that takes place around the Glade. Ironic, since no one there has ever even seen a girl. But when Newt drunkenly confessed that he's not into girls to Minho one night, which made its way back to you, you couldn't have been happier.
You were grinning like the Cheshire cat for a week.
You actually had a shot with Newt. The boy who you'd been crushing on from the second he opened his mouth. And you actually have a chance with him.
That was until Thomas showed up. Flying out of the Box and making his immediate escape, you saw the amusement in all the boys' faces- Newt included. Newt had this slightly crooked grin that could make the heart of any man melt, and it's something you don't see nearly enough of.
It only doubled when Thomas tripped over his own feet and went tumbling into the ground.
After a short visit to the Slammer, the new Greenie was dragged around by Alby. Which is where he met Newt.
You couldn't make out what was happening or what they were talking about when Alby first introduced them to each other. But the way Newt's face lit up and Thomas looked over his shoulder to catch another glimpse of the boy made you feel something new.
It made you angry- frustrated almost. A new source of possession and a further want to be close to the pretty leader figure.
You were jealous. All it took was one good-looking Greenie to show up, and bam, you'd become territorial. Even though you had no grounds to stand on. You thought it was just a small insignificant crush. But with how it's completely affected your day in one swift motion; it doesn't take a genius to see your genuine feelings.
For a second, you thought you'd imagined the whole thing. Had Newt just been treating you like everyone else? Were you making up everything to make yourself feel better? Was it all nothing?
Which led to you sitting at the Bonfire, a couple of feet away from all the commotion, a drink in your hand as you sit on the floor, facing away from the crowd. Your stomach flipped when Newt had chosen to join Thomas instead, who didn't even know his name yet.
It made sense- he's new and he needs the extra guidance. It was the same hospitality he'd graciously offered you, which somehow made the whole thing worse when Newt started playfully showing him around.
"Alright, shank," Gally startles you when he puts his hands on your shoulders, forcing you to look back and face him, "What's going on?"
"What?" You blink at him. Gally is the last person you expected to notice something is wrong. "Nothing."
"You've been moping around all day, kid- we can all see it," he sighs, crouching down from behind so he's level with you. "The Track-hoes are sulking that their best man is buggin' out, and I'm already sick of hearing all this klunk about fixing the planters- I don't need anymore shuckin' tree-huggers moanin' 'round here."
You scoff at this. "Yeah, I thought it was unlikely that you have an ounce of emotional intelligence in there."
"Ha-ha," you smile at him and his sarcasm.
Unbeknownst to you, Newt is watching from a distance. His eyes occasionally falling on you, sitting by yourself between giving Thomas a run-down of the different jobs. But when Gally walked over, he froze, watching you smile up at him and seem to actually enjoy his company.
It's perplexing, really. Why would anyone enjoy Gally's company? How could anyone possibly enjoy Gally's company?
Newt seems to be experiencing some jealousy issues himself. I mean, he has been a bit neglectful today, but it's no different from any other Greenie Day. And Gally talking to someone isn't exactly strange either.
But it's you- you're hard-working and spirited; something he's always admired. You enjoy spending time with other people and bringing smiles to people's faces. Newt will be the first to admit he wasn't nearly as fun to be around before you arrived.
You're quick to tell when something is wrong with him or any of the other Gladers, and it's a nice change to have someone that actually cares around. Newt's always gravitated towards you- how could he not?
You brightened each other's days. So why the fuck is Gally now brightening yours?
"Seriously, the shuck's goin' on?" Gally pushes further, grumpiness becoming more prominent in his tone since he didn't originally intend to end up having an actual conversation with you.
You open your mouth to speak, but your eyes flicker to Newt, whose gaze immediately returns to the Newbie upon making eye contact.
"Ah," Gally nods his head, sucking on his teeth to hide the smirk forming, "lover boy not paying enough attention to ya?"
"What?" Your eyebrows fly up, feeling embarrassment burn in your throat under Gally's accusatory stare. "No! It's not like that!"
"Is it really?"
"It's not!"
"I don't believe you," his blunt nature comes to display and you glare at him. "You want me to kick the Greenie's ass for taking your man?"
"What?" You blink, stunned as Gally's smirk grows. "Gally, no."
"Oh, yeah, I think that sounds like a great idea," he stands up, arms outstretched at the sides as he walks backwards, straight into Thomas, who trips slightly. Gally easily makes it seem like the whole thing is Thomas's fault and that he walked into him.
You scramble up, not quite hearing the start of the commotion, but it doesn't take long for another wrestling match to ensue.
Thomas manages to pull a surprising stunt, even managing to impress the stone-faced Minho, but he is quickly knocked down a peg when Gally absolutely floors him.
"Thomas!" He shouts, hurrying to get to his feet, "I remember my name! It's Thomas!"
Well, that was it.
Everyone and their mothers took to congratulating Thomas. Newt included as they do that weird handshake hug thing that boys do.
Gally shoots a guilty look your way.
That did not go as planned.
Instead of joining in, you sigh. How could you have possibly been this delusional? Of course Newt doesn't like you- I mean, he's got plenty of options here. It's not like you guys are the only gay dudes around.
You decide to call it a night, walking away and to the safety of your hammock. You kick your shoes off and climb in, pulling your hood over your eyes and pulling at the worn drawstrings. You snuggle deeper into the unstable resting place, trying to swallow your own emotions.
"Hey, have you seen (Y/N)?" Newt asks Minho, noticing your sudden lack of presence.
The Runner has a drink in his hand and has been watching the both of you for a while now. From overhearing what Gally said and watching Newt send you some longing glances, he's figured something is going on, just from tonight alone. Minho is known for his observant nature. It's part of his job, after all.
Not to mention, you're all Newt talks about. And he's getting really sick of it.
"Yeah," he takes a sip of his drink, not taking any means to elaborate further as Newt sends him a confused look. The blond raises his eyebrow, expecting more than Minho's willing to give.
"Well?"
"Why are you asking?"
"Because I want to talk to him? He's my mate? The shuck's got under your skin today?" Minho scoffs at this.
"Me? What's got under your skin, shank?" Newt blinks at him, getting more confused by the second.
"What are you talking about?"
"You need to tell him how you feel-"
"What?"
"Dude, it's obvious- even shuckin' Gally can tell. And if you weren't too busy making eyes at the Greenie, then you might have noticed something."
"Noticed something...?" Minho flashes his friend a look that says, 'dude, you can't be serious.'
"What are you tryna say? I don't have all day, a'ight?" Newt's not dumb. He can tell what Minhos trying to imply, but he doesn't want to jump to any conclusions if he's wrong.
"You dumb shank," Minho barks a laugh, dropping his head, "you really gonna make me spell it out? He likes you, slinthead. (Y/N) likes you, and you're acting like an oblivious shuckface. Get your klunk together, man."
Newt doesn't know what to say. He's just been told that the boy he's been crushing on for months likes him, too. Sure, he had a hunch, but he never wanted to act on anything, just in case he'd been reading things wrong.
"He's in his hammock. Go do something about it for a change." Minho stands up, downing the rest of his drink in one gulp and slamming the glass back on the small, wonky wooden table. He brushes past Newt, leaving him to process it all on his own.
Sometimes, Newt wishes he could be as forward as his friend. Minho's right. He knows for sure now, so it's not like he has any excuse not to act on it.
Maybe it's about time he did.
Sleep had decided to avoid you tonight. Maybe it's the fact that there's still loud chattering from not that far away, and you can see the dancing flames behind your eyelids. You just want to sleep and ignore all your feelings.
"Bit early for you, ain't it?" You almost tumble out of your hammock as Newt's smooth accent reaches you, scaring the everliving shit out of you. "Woah! Easy!" Newt jumps to your assistance, grabbing the hammock and stabilising it. "You good?"
You push your hood back, eyes flickering up at the boy, whose crooked smile sends butterflies into your stomach. The faint light from the fire leaves flickering pattern across his skin, making his almost look hypnotic.
Yet, when you open your mouth, you just end up being a bit of a dick.
"Bored of the new Greenie already?" Shockingly, Newt chuckles. It's a rare sound that seems to immediately wash away any negative feelings you've been experiencing.
"Uh, no, Thomas still has a lot to learn, but I'd rather spend my free time with you." Newt casually leans against the beam that your hammock is tied to, his hands in his pockets.
It's a simple gesture, really, but his soft words leave you thankful it's too dark to see your blushing expression.
"Is that so?" You just about manage to mumble out.
"Yeah, unless you wanna spend all night wittering on to Gally?" There's a tinge of annoyance in his voice that makes you raise your eyebrow.
"What?"
"What?" He copies you as you tilt your head.
"Have you got a problem with me talking to Gally?" The question comes across as cautious, like you don't want to step on any toes. Why would Newt care if you'd been talking to Gally?
"What if I do?" Newt seems suddenly confident, like he's been provided with a piece of information that has made him more ballsy.
Of course, he actually has. But you don't know that.
"Dude," you laugh, kind of awkwardly as you try to get your brain to catch up with the situation, "you almost sound jealous."
"What if I am?" He crosses his arms, looking down at you as he reads your expression. You look at him, eyes wide and mouth slightly ajar. You don't know how to respond, so he sighs.
"Can I ask you something?" Newt had managed to steal another glass of moonshine before coming over to you, probably another reason for his forward nature. That, and Minho's impatience and his own- this has been going on for long enough.
"Uh, sure?" It comes out as more of a question than an answer.
"Do you like me? Like, do you have feelings for me?"
And there is is. You suck in a sharp breath, eyes immediately flickering away from Newt's. Oh God, this is actually happening. Being honest feels too real, and rejection is still a fear, despite Newt's slightly flirtatious tone. Lying could cause more problems and hurt him, or you, in the long run.
So what do you even say?
"What if I did?" Is all you can scrounge up the courage to say, simply repeating Newt's earlier attitude.
"Well," he scoffs, "well, if you did, then I'd just have to ask you to be my boyfriend, wouldn't I?"
Your head snaps back up, mouth agape, and Newt snorts, rubbing his face with his hands before letting them flop to the sides as he stands up straight.
"Are you serious?" You mumble, "'Cause if this is some kinda joke then that's really shitty, dude-"
"So, you do like me?"
"Well, uh, yes-" you groan, "of course, I like you. How could I not? But you can't just come over here and ask me this klunk and expect me not to freak out? Did someone put you up to this? Or did Gally say something, or-?"
You get cut off as Newt takes your face into his hand, forcing you to look up at him. He leans down slightly so his face is just in front of yours.
"Alright," he says, "maybe I could've phrased that better," he clears his throat. "Will you be my boyfriend? I'm asking you to be my boyfriend- not as a joke, okay? I really like you, and Minho told me you like me too and- and I just had to say something."
Your face burns as you attempt to keep breathing like a normal person. He's so close. And he's literally confessing to you; how are you supposed to cope under these conditions?
He notices your hesitation, feeling like he's putting too much pressure on you and that he needs to give you some space. But you lean forward, a split-second decision taking over as you press your lips to his, trying not to fall out of your hammock in the process.
Newt freezes at first, but he quickly recovers, kissing you back as you feel him softly smiling against your lips. It's perfect.
His lips are surprisingly soft, and he moves them with care, trying to keep himself calm. The kiss continues to be sweet, but it's still full of feelings that you've both been avoiding for months on end.
You have to pull away before you, or Newt makes the kiss even more heated. Mainly because you don't want to move that fast, especially in a place as tight-knit as the Glade where everyone knows everything. But also because you haven't answered his question yet.
Your foreheads brush against each other, as you both pull away. You can't stop the grin that's creeping across your face.
"So, I'm takin' that as a yes then?"
You roll your eyes as you take his hands in yours, feeling his rough skin from labour against yours.
Part of you can't believe this is happening. It feels exactly like some fantasy you'd have and then you'd wake up again. But that's not it. Newt is right in front of you, staring at you like you're the only thing in his life that matters. And it makes your blood pump and your brain feel fuzzy.
It's definitely more than some childish crush. Hell, it might even be more than just having feelings for him. But that doesn't matter, you'll worry about that later.
"Yes, Newt, it is. I'll be your boyfriend."
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Ayeeee, I've finally written a Newt fic. Like I said before, there isn't nearly enough representation of Newt's canon sexuality in the fandom, and it's sad to see such a brilliant character getting a part of their identity removed.
Honestly, I wasn't quite sure what to write for this one since I am very bad at vague requests, but I figured an actual story was in order here instead of just headcanons.
I hope you enjoyed :))
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asrabounding · 7 months
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How do you feel about Julian and Asra being over-sexualized in fandom?
I guess it depends on what you mean by oversexualized. As in, “over” what standard.
I don’t think there’s an inherit problem with portraying characters in sexual scenarios, especially when that’s part of the source material. I don’t think a character’s sexual portrayal takes away from their personality and their depth. In fact, their relationship with their sexuality and the way it affects their behavior is yet another layer of their personality.
I am personally not a fan of content that turns Asra and Julian’s dominant and submissive roles into their personality outside of specific spicy scenes.
In fact, what I like about them as characters is specifically the way they break the mold of mainstream media sub/dom couples - the physically larger, older, more masc presenting person always being the dom and the smaller, younger person (who in most mainstream media is also AFAB) being the sub.
Julian out of bed is anything but submissive. Sure, he gets flustered and he can be too much of a people pleaser, but he’s also assertive and rough around the edges and doesn’t mind breaking the rules.
Asra out of bed is more avoidant than he is dominant. He likes to have control over a situation but that most often translates into self-reliance. He is not a domineering person.
Now to me the interesting part of writing characters like these is answering these questions:
- does their sexual relationship affect the way they relate to each other in other situations?
- if yes, why?
- if not, why?
- is it a problem? Can it be fixed? Should it be fixed?
- where’s the line between sex and romance for each one of them?
- how do they get there? When?
- how does their demeanor change when they stop seeing each other as just a distraction? How does it change when only one of them stops seeing the other as just a distraction?
Sex factors in, it’s fun to write and it’s fun to read. But I think to me what makes a character come off as oversexualized isn’t the presence of sex or the amount of sex present, but the absence of anything else.
One of the absolute best fanfictions I’ve ever read in this fandom has multiple very explicit scenes in each chapter. They take nothing away from how insightful the portrayal of each character is. In fact in many cases they add to the character’s complexity.
One last note tho (yes this was a huge stream of consciousness…) I am talking about long form writing here because that’s 99% of what I do.
If you’re talking about short form writing, pwp one shots, self indulgent art pieces…it’s probably not that deep. Art is often just a safe way to explore fantasies.
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imagine writing one mediocre fanfic and now believing you have the right to do deep analysis on a real person, your brain must be one mushy mess of nothing
Oh my god HI!
Mediocre? You give me too much credit! I’ve written more than one though so I’m not sure which one you mean, but I’m glad that you read enough of it to form a firm opinion! Do you have any tips?
I don’t think it escapes the attention of many people that most of what goes on on this website is just for fun. I am not deluded; I know that I don’t really know any of these people, and I’d be surprised if many other people on here know them either. I do understand that everything that we see is a front, a persona, a projection, a sliver of the real thing. The thing about competitive sport is that each competition or league develops a narrative and a life of its own, and the people who wish to reap the many rewards of competing at the highest levels of their chosen sport become a part of these narratives. The personalities of these people become a part of the story and a part of the appeal to a large proportion of fans. There is nothing wrong with that, nor with talking about it.
What I’ve said about George started because a couple of people asked me questions about things that I have observed about him and I answered them truthfully because I thought they were interesting. Admittedly there’s a bit of an agenda because I think that he is unfairly judged a lot of the time (sometimes it’s definitely fair!) and it’s nice to try and spread a bit of positivity amongst the criticism. (Anyone sensing irony here…?) I also flatter myself that I can add some cultural currency, seeing as I’m as painfully British as George, and many people on here are not.
And you know what? I’ve had some really interesting conversations off the back of it, made some internet friends. It’s added to my enjoyment of something which is, after all, supposed to be enjoyable. I’ve practised the subtle art of disagreeing with someone respectfully and listening to their perspective.
I’m flattered that what you think I’m doing is deep analysis; most of the things I’ve written seem to be fairly, to borrow your word, mediocre observations. Things that I have observed over several years, for sure, but mediocre observations all the same.
I also wonder at the judgement that seems to be linked to posting things on Tumblr specifically; the internet is full of (mostly) men publishing podcasts and blogs on topics about which they seem to know as much as many posters on here, and yet a huge amount of fandom criticism seems to be levelled at places like Tumblr, which are primarily associated with young queer female fans. (One or more of these things may apply to me or they may not, but that’s not relevant; I’m merely talking about the perception.) These are just idle musings from my mediocre mushy mess of a brain, but I wonder at a sexist or homophobic component to some of this criticism (this is not specifically aimed at you, anon, because you seem just lovely), albeit probably subconscious. I have certainly listened to enough podcasts or read enough think pieces by people asserting that George is a selfish piece of shit who hates Lewis and has grown up with a silver spoon shoved up his arse, and if these things are said by people who don't know George either then I’m not sure why they have more right to air their opinion than I do?
The final thing is that if you don’t want to read things I’ve written, please block me. Seriously, for your own sake. Life is too short to spend time hung up on things that you don’t like or approve of if you can avoid it.
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