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gimme-mor · 3 years

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ACOTAR THINK PIECE: ELAIN ARCHERON, UNTOUCHABLE

*DISCLAIMER*

This will be a long post.

Please take the time to read this post in its entirety and truly reflect on the message I am trying to send before commenting. My goal is to use my background in Gender and Women’s Studies to deconstruct the comments I have seen on Tumblr and Twitter and bring awareness to the ACOTAR fandom.

The reason I am tagging “Elriel” in this post is to call attention to the arguments in the Elriel fandom that: weaponize Elain’s femalehood to shame real life people for their opinions about Elain’s character and her relationship with Lucien; victimize Elain’s character in fandom discussions; and coddle Elain’s character, which limits fandom discussions about her narrative development and prevents the ACOTAR fandom from holding Elain accountable for her actions and inactions in the same way that the fandom holds other characters accountable for their actions and inactions. It is for these reasons that I WILL NOT remove the “Elriel” tag from this post because all of the above points contribute to the toxic discourse surrounding Elain’s character.

I urge those who use these arguments to understand their implications, why they are problematic, regardless of intent, and reexamine their contributions to the ACOTAR fandom. I WILL NOT tolerate anyone who tries to twist my words and say I am attacking people and their personal shipping preferences. In fact, I AM CRITIQUING THE ARGUMENTS THEMSELVES NOT THE PEOPLE USING THE ARGUMENTS.

Also, I highly encourage the Elriel fandom to read this post because it addresses how the concept of choice as an argument enables arguments to exploit social justice and feminist languge in order to vilify Elucien shippers, among other problematic things.

Elain Archeron is one of the most polarizing characters in the ACOTAR fandom. Though opinions about Elain vary, arguments in the Elriel fandom cite society’s perception of traditional female characters in comparison to non-traditional female characters as the reason behind the hate, and this belief is used to provide an explanation as to why other characters in the series are favored over her. In the series, Elain is portrayed in a wholly positive light and this image carries over into the Elriel fandom, painting her character as a good and kind female who has been unfairly wronged and a victim of circumstances that were out of her control. When arguments in the Elriel fandom oppose other viewpoints in the fandom, they fall into one of three categories:

Category 1: Weaponize Elain’s femalehood to shame real life people for their opinions

Maybe people who hate Elain are just jealous of her in a weird way similar to when someone hates the pretty, nice, and charming girl in school just because she is too perfect

Disliking Elain is misogynistic

What happened to feminism? What happened to women supporting women? What happened to she can say no? All of that disappears the second you force Elain to be with Lucien

Elain antis are misogynistic

All Eluciens are Elain antis

Antis claiming they’re feminists when in reality they hate on Elain and Feyre but love Nesta

Elain antis are such sore losers. Y’all were that bunch of people who could not get over being rejected from hanging out with the cool kids so y’all are projecting your hatred towards pretty people now to get validation

I don’t get how Elain’s love for gardening equals boring for some people. I’m sorry your misogyny finds traditionally feminine activities boring

Why are you attacking a female? What did Elain do? Where are your feminist voices?

The fandom is misogynistic towards Elain

If people loved Elain they would ship Elriel

If you hate Elain it says a lot about your feelings toward women

If you hate Elain because she has no “development” then you must hate Azriel because otherwise you’re misogynistic

Eluciens are turned off by the idea of a woman that has the autonomy to reject a man for the simple reason that it is her choice

Eluciens are all about feminism and “it’s HER choice” until it comes down to females not wanting a male

Eluciens don’t respect Elain’s feelings when they ship her with someone that was part of her trauma and makes her feel uncomfortable

The way some Elucien shippers completely disregard how uncomfortable Elain is around Lucien is so hilariously not funny. Prioritizing being mates over Elain’s feelings is just regressive

It’s hard as a fan of Elain to see someone ship her with a person who makes her physically uncomfortable to be around. Wouldn’t you want both characters to be happy to be around each other

Imagine if SJM saw all the awful things her “stans” had to say about Elain

It’s true that we know comparatively little about her, but is she really boring or do you just not value stereotypically feminine traits?

So y’all are just gonna tell me you prefer Elucien over Elriel? Even though Lucien treats Elain as if she’s something that belongs to him? The only reason he wants to be with her is because she’s his mate, he doesn’t respect her, doesn’t treat her as his equal, even though that’s what mates should be? He doesn’t bother to look past what’s on the outside to see her for who she is. And Elain is obviously repulsed by the idea that she should belong to anyone or have no choice in who she can be with. Azriel is her friend and the only person who sees her quiet strength. He has so much faith in her, in her abilities; he’s the one who kept her company when no one else did, he’s the only one who bothered to see her for more than her brokenness. You’re going to tell me you still prefer Elucien over Elriel?

The more I see Gwynriels that ship Elucien out of their hate for Elain, the less I can understand Elain stans that ship Elucien. Pls Elain has made it very clear that she doesn’t want Lucien, why would you ship her with him? Do you hate her too? Smh

The real question would be, if you care and understand Elain why would you ship her with Lucien (where she canonically shrinks when he is near)?

People crying over Helion and Lucien’s mom not getting to be with each other and her being forced into a relationship she didn’t want, but also ship Elucien? Just say you hate Elain

When Elain’s book is out, Gwyn stans will look like clowns and I will laugh because they set her up by shipping her with Azriel just because they hate Elain. Watch them play the victims now because Elriels are clapping back the hate they’ve sent towards Elain

As romantic as wanting girl who is visibly uncomfortable around a guy who caused her trauma to end up with the said guy. Guess their standards for romance are in hell

Category 2: Victimize Elain’s character

Gwynriels only want Gwyn with Azriel because they despise Elain

Gwyn stans and Gwynriels are Elain antis

No one in the books dislike Elain, so why are there so many people who do?

Elain hasn’t done anything wrong or questionable to warrant the hate she gets

Not having Elain’s POV makes it easy for people to be swayed a certain way about her character if you already don’t relate to her in some way

It’s been years since this series came out and we haven’t gotten a lick of an Elain POV, but people still hate her for what? We don’t know her thoughts, dreams, or aspirations

We haven’t even had Elain’s perspective yet and people are passing these judgments off on her

Elain antis who say she’s boring are just cruel when she has obvious symptoms of PTSD like Feyre and Nesta

Gwyn is one of the most overhyped characters and that’s only because most people hate Elain and they couldn’t wait to find a random girl to ship Azriel with

Nesta was abusive to her sisters but Elain (who has only ever been kind) is painted as the villain

From the text we know that Elain is the epitome of feminine stereotypes (gentle, gardening, baking, non confrontational for the most part). Yet people still call her boring or deny that she has any interesting character traits?

You can’t love Nesta and hate Elain

People hate Elain because of internalized misogyny and lack of taste. All the girl does is tend to her garden and mind her business and they treat her worse than Tamlin

Does Gwyn deserve all this support? Of course yes! She is amazing! But where’s that support when Elain was in the same situation as she? Where’s that support for her right now? Why do they idolize Gwyn for her interactions with Azriel and hate Elain for having any interaction with him?

It’s not even a ship war anymore, they just hate Elain

People hate Elain for no reason

Some of y’all don’t like feminine traits and it shows

We know less about Eris and Helion but people don’t call them boring. Why would rejecting femininity make Elain more interesting?

Elain has had a lot forced upon her

The main reason I believe most people love Gwyn so much is to get Azriel away from Elain. It’s not a secret that Elain has been a widely hated character for years so suddenly we get a new female who has a minimal amount of interactions with Azriel and BOOM. New ship that once again doesn’t make sense (just like Azriel x Emerie after ACOFAS)

Elain hasn’t done something so terrible for her to get this hate. At this point some of you are just being misogynistic and you don’t want to accept it. Don’t call yourselves feminists and then say bs like this, it’s embarrassing. She’s pretty and everyone agreed to hate on her

Just a personal feeling, but I feel like a lot of the Elain hate stems from internalized misogyny. That to be a strong female lead, you need to pick up a sword and fight. That to be strong, you need to adapt traditionally masculine traits

Elain is feminine. She is beautiful. She loves to bake and garden. She is docile, quiet, observant, and a people-pleaser. All traditionally feminine traits. Yet for some reason, she’s like the worst in these people’s eyes?

I think also maybe a lot of people can’t relate to her femininity? That her being so beautiful and quiet doesn’t allow for the people who dislike her not to self-insert? Most of the hate stems from people not wanting Elain to be with Azriel. It’s mean, but maybe the people who hate Elain literally just can’t self-insert if they have a story and that’s why they’re vehemently against it?

Poor Elain. The Cauldron dealt her a bad deal. Upon emerging as Fae, she is immediately declared by Lucien as his mate, never mind that she was already engaged to a prick. Her love life is not good

It blows my mind how they really think that they can compare all the shit that Elain gets with some dumb jokes about Gwyn on Twitter (and yes, the “hate” towards her started mostly because Elriels are clapping back, it was bound to happen)

I would think of it as anti-feminist with Elain and Lucien because she has consistently stated that she does not want him so if she was forced to embrace the bond that would be taking away her right to have a choice but with Az she feels comfortable around so if they were mates then Elain would be happy and feel safe which again should be the priority for women to feel safe in their relationships with anything and to not be forced into any type of situation aka the mating bond in this

Category 3: Coddle Elain’s character

Elain has value the way she is, in all her domestic girly glory. Not every character has to be badass

We don’t speak of Elain’s flaws frequently because everyone else already speaks badly of her, mainly in an unfair way

There is definitely something deeper going on with Elain but by no means will she ever be evil or any less feminine. That goes against everything we already know about her

It’s ok to critique Elain because she needs growth but y’all keep forgetting the shit her and her sisters went through

The last “bad” thing Elain did in ACOTAR was not help Feyre when they were impoverished and I’m tired of people acting like she’s a terrible character when it was their father’s responsibility. It happened 4 books ago and Feyre has forgiven both Nesta and Elain

Elain’s character and the evil Elain theory are a great example of the trend where people only consider female characters interesting if they reject femininity

We don’t know enough to hate Elain

Many people want Elain to turn evil (which in my opinion seems to come from a place of internalized misogyny)

However we don’t tend to talk about her faults, at least not publicly, as that has been, and still is, done to death, and I--personally, at least--find it much more fun to theorise about potentially interesting aspects of the overall plot, than dwell on negatives

And ultimately, I would be shocked if Elain has a more karmically-charged story than Nesta, considering that Elain’s “wrongs” are so much less severe and bad than Nesta’s, and Elain has already apologized for them (or paid the price in other ways, like through what Graysen did)

I guess I also think Elain has suffered and been punished enough. I hope her story is about finding hope in terrible situations, and learning to love her new life, and choosing her own path after everything that has been done to her. I don’t think she needs to be punished anymore or face any additional trauma

Also, why is she being judged on her decisions as a human at all? Fae are monsters to humans! They enslaved them for thousands of years, and the Wall was erected to keep them out

Like I’m sorry, but think Elain would want to leave her ONLY FAMILY AND FRIENDS for the Spring Court where she has no one because--oh look, lots of flowers!--is the craziest thing I have ever heard

Her sisters are in the Night Court. Her nephew is in the Night Court. Her closest friends (Nuala and Cerridwen) are in the Night Court. Her love interest is in the Night Court. Her extended family is in the Night Court. Her home is in the Night Court

SJM isn’t going to keep two sisters together and split up the third. Especially not keep Feyre and Nesta together and separate Elain. They were either all going to end up in separate places, or together. Not 2 here and 1 there

Compared to the other female characters in the series, Elain is the only character whose femalehood is at the center of conversations; this is because arguments in the Elriel fandom fixate on it when discussing her character. While Elain, Feyre, Nesta, and Mor are all representations of white womanhood and white beauty, Elain epitomizes the most fragile version of white womanhood. It’s easy to blame society’s perception of traditional female characters in comparison to non-traditional female characters when it comes to the discourse surrounding Elain’s character because it: falls in line with the fixation on Elain’s femalehood to silence opposing viewpoints; is a simplistic explanation that fails to tackle the underlying issues with Elain as a character, the same issues that are downplayed in-universe; absolves Elain of her wrongdoings; prevents the ACOTAR fandom from holding Elain accountable for her actions and inactions within the series; and diminishes the impact Elain’s actions and inactions have on those around her. It’s not that Elain is hated in the fandom because she’s a traditional female character; it’s the fact that arguments in the Elriel fandom deflect a critical analysis of Elain’s character because she’s a traditional female character who embodies the ideal white woman in need of protection. White fans and white-aligned fans of color, especially white women, have a tendency to vehemently defend, gatekeep, and coddle white female characters in fandom; this makes it difficult for other fans to engage in critical discussions about these white female characters because they’re viewed as flawless and all around perfect characters despite evidence to the contrary. Since Elain is viewed positively by the other characters in the series, it has rendered her character untouchable to any perceived slight or criticism in fandom discussions because those negative opinions challenge what has been said about her character thus far. And as a result, her character has been placed on a pedestal and implicitly hailed as the epitome of white womanhood; and when she’s criticized, it’s seen as a direct attack against white womanhood. Arguments in the Elriel fandom: exploit feminist language and perpetuate white feminist tactics under the guise of defending Elain’s character; center Elain in conversations about female oppression in the ACOTAR world and uphold white feminist ideologies in their critique of ACOTAR’s patriarchal society; and use the fragile white woman narrative to victimize Elain in Lucien’s presence, playing into racial biases that are associated with white supremacy’s defense of white womanhood.

Feminism is a social movement that seeks to promote equality and equity to all genders, and feminists work toward eradicating gender disparities on a macro-level, in addition to challenging gender biases on a micro-level. As feminism became more mainstream, a flat and oversimplified version of feminism emerged: mainstream feminism. The mainstream feminist movement is meant to represent all women, but rarely does it center conversations around issues that concern most women. The problem with mainstream feminism is that it’s just a popularized version of white feminism. White feminism has relied extensively on an individualized understanding of women’s oppression, exclusively from the lens of privileged white women. White feminism only focuses on the oppression experienced by white, able-bodied, affluent, educated, cishet women; and it views gender as the key mode of privileged white women’s oppression, isolated from the privileges granted by their other social identities. White women can be and are oppressed under the patriarchy but only because they are women; their identity as women does not exempt them from the privileges granted by their whiteness. The term white feminist does not mean any feminist who is white, but refers to feminists who prioritize the concerns of privileged white women as though they are representative of all women. However, the term is not exclusive to white people. Because white feminism is so pervasive, people of other racial and ethnic backgrounds often buy into white feminism, believing that if they work hard enough, they may be able to reap its rewards.

Just like white feminism, mainstream feminism only recognizes the identity of being a woman, assumes that all women share common experiences of gender oppression, fails to address other social identities in relation to overlapping systems of oppression, and disregards privilege in relation to various social identities. Just like white feminism, mainstream feminism is palatable because it doesn’t seek to challenge the systems in place, instead its goal is to succeed within them. Essentially, mainstream feminism and white feminism are extensions of performative feminism. Performative feminism is a type of performative activism that’s used to describe feminist views that are surface level and solely for the benefit of one type of person. It’s a pretense which often has nothing to do with genuine activism. Arguments in the Elriel fandom normalize and promote performative feminism because the topic of feminism is only referenced when discussing Elain. This indicates that these arguments are engaging in disingenuous discourse to push a personal agenda within the ACOTAR fandom, and it becomes more apparent when they use white feminist tactics to shut down opposing viewpoints:

White feminists weaponize and exploit feminist language to silence the opinions of other women, especially when they’re called out for their problematic behaviors

White feminists use the phrase “Women supporting women” to defend other white feminists who exhibit problematic behaviors instead of holding them accountable

White feminists weaponize phrases like “Women supporting women” and “You just hate women” to attack other women who disagree with them on any given topic

White feminists use phrases like “All women face challenges” and “Stop pitting women against each other” to sidestep conversations about privilege

White feminists divert conversations away from privilege and towards the Trauma Olympics to equate their struggles to the oppression of marginalized people

White feminists skirt around the realities of other forms of oppression and discrimination, downplaying the experiences of marginalized people

White feminists diminish or ignore the ways in which gender oppression affects other marginalized people

White feminists paint those they harmed as aggressive, mean, or divisive when confronted with the ways they have harmed a marginalized group

White feminists deflect criticism by focusing on the anger or emotions being expressed rather than the issue that is being discussed, invalidating the concerns of marginalized people

White feminists speak over marginalized voices in an attempt to sound “woke”

White feminists get defensive and insist there’s no way they could be a part of the problem because of what they’ve done to help marginalized groups already

White feminists say they don’t see color in an attempt to obscure racial issues that need to be addressed

White feminists center and victimize themselves in conversations about racism, which derails necessary conversations from taking place

White feminists who are white weaponize the intersectionality of their race and gender to avoid accountability

Feminism is not meant to be approached from an individualistic perspective nor is it only about addressing the experiences of privileged white women, it involves addressing the intersections of race, class, gender, sexuality, (dis)ability, and other social identities as well; and it involves addressing how these social identities relate to privilege. Moreover, feminism is not about women upholding complete loyalty to other women because of a shared gender identity, and to claim that it does implies that women should be held to different emotional standards than men. If men are able to dislike and criticize other individual men, real or fictional, without their characters being compromised, why aren’t women granted that same privilege?

It’s clear that SJM set up the ACOTAR world to mirror a patriarchal society, and that the imbalance of power between males and females stems from sexism. Arguments in the Elriel fandom analyze the ACOTAR world through a feminist lens to show how ACOTAR’s patriarchal society, to which the mating bond is innately tied, contributes to female oppression and limits their agency. When choice and free will are emphasized as part of Elain’s arc, they imply that Elain, through the mating bond, experiences female oppression under ACOTAR’s patriarchal society because of her identity as a female with that identity being the focal point of her oppression in the world. Elain is one of the most privileged characters in the ACOTAR world: she’s High Fae; she’s the sister of the High Lord and High Lady of the Night Court, which gives her access to wealth and political influence because of that connection; she’s able-bodied; she was magically blessed by the Cauldron; and she lives in Velaris, a place that grants females autonomy and power because of the beliefs of Rhysand and Feyre. Arguments in the Elriel fandom trivialize female oppression in the ACOTAR world because they disregard the fact that Elain’s privileges prevent her from experiencing female oppression in the same way that other marginalized females in the world do. The mating bond being one such example because those around Elain are not forcing the bond on her, instead they’re allowing Elain to reach a decision about the bond for herself; a privilege that other marginalized females in the world probably wouldn’t have. Just because Elain has endured hardships in her life and is a female in a patriarchal society, they do not erase the privileges she holds within the ACOTAR world. The failure to include Elain’s privileges in discussions about Elain being a female in a patriarchal society feeds into white feminist ideologies because white feminism operates from a very narrow perspective; it doesn’t take other intersecting identities into account when it examines gender oppression, leaving no room for discussions about privilege (or lack thereof) in relation to those intersecting identities. When discussing oppression in hierarchical societies, it’s imperative that privilege is also included in the conversation because privilege and oppression are not mutually exclusive; they equally affect the ways in which people navigate those societies through their social identities.

Rather than attributing Elain’s uncomfortability to her new life as a Fae female or the mating bond itself and her trauma to the Cauldron, the King of Hybern, or Ianthe, they’re placed on Lucien to cast his character in a negative light. Moreover, fandom discussions portray Lucien as a possessive character to further emphasize Elain’s discomfort despite the inaccuracy of this characterization in canon. Arguments in the Elriel fandom play into racial biases when it comes to Lucien (a male character of color) because they mischaracterize his character in order to victimize Elain (a white female character), placing her character in the role of the white damsel in distress. In Western society, the concept of womanhood has been conceptualized from a Eurocentric perspective with femininity and feminine attributes favoring white women. It’s the idea that a certain type of femininity is only inherent to white women as they are seen as the embodiment of an ideal womanhood. White womanhood has been a symbol of innocence and purity, and white women have been viewed as fragile beings in need of protection. The reason white womanhood functions within white supremacy is because it’s the same idea that has motivated white men to kill and beat black and brown men. The so-called protection of white women has been used as a justification for the horrific violence committed by white men because black and brown men were stereotyped as aggressive and seen as a threat to the virtue of white women. The white damsel in distress trope considered white women as worthy of protection because of their perceived innocence and purity; women of color were not granted that same treatment because they did not fit into the ideal image of womanhood. Over the years, this trope became a means for white women to exercise limited power in a patriarchal society with white women weaponizing their status as the damsel much to the detriment of black and brown men. It’s through the white damsel in distress trope that white supremacy sustains its dominance in Western society. The misrepresentation of characters of color in fandom, the dismissal of their importance to the overall story, and using them as tools in arguments centered around white characters are the foundation of fandom racism; they’re examples of how racism moves silently in fandom spaces. Instead of examining their behavior and taking constructive criticism from fans of color, white fans will often double down on their bigotry and center their uncomfortability in the conversation when confronted with their complicity in fandom racism. White fans expect fans of color to swallow fandom racism in its many forms in order to not ruin the experience of fandom, dismissing the fact that racism is prevalent in nearly every aspect of society. This mentality ensures that no one is held accountable for the harm they caused and alienates fans of color in fandom spaces.

To reiterate what I mentioned in my first think piece: terms like “oppression”, “the right to choose”, “feminist”, “feminism”, “anti-feminist”, “anti-feminism”, “internalized misogyny”, “misogyny”, “misogynist”, “sexist”, “sexism”, “racist”, “racism”, “classist”, “classism”, “discrimination”, and “patriarchy” are all used in specific ways to draw attention to the plight of marginalized people and challenge those who deny the existence of systems of oppression. Yet these words and their meanings can be twisted to attack, exclude, and invalidate people with differing opinions on any given topic. When social justice and feminist terms are thrown around antagonistically and carelessly to push a personal agenda, it becomes clear that these terms are being used to engage in disingenuous discourse and pursue personal validation rather than being used out of any deep-seated conviction to dismantle systemic oppression. Being an ally, activist, or feminist is not an identity, it’s a practice. It requires: ongoing self-reflection; holding ourselves accountable; listening to marginalized people; educating ourselves; dismantling implicit biases; challenging those around us who are exhibiting problematic behaviors; and action behind our words.

It’s important to be aware of the language that is used within the fandom when defending or critiquing characters and ships. It’s also important to question how an argument is framed and why it’s framed the way that it is to critically examine the intent behind that argument: is it used as a tool to push a personal agenda that reinforces problematic behaviors, or is it used as an opportunity to share, learn, enlighten, and educate?

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Tagging: @spell-cleavers @bookofmirth @m0bulidae @ilya-boltagon

#elain archeron #elriel #acotar fandom #acotar: fandom critical

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gracereadstoomanybooks · 3 years

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answering questions I’ve been asked on TikTok✨

QUESTION: how did you get into reading?

So, when I was in middle school (many moons ago) we had this thing called AR Testing. Basically, you read a book and take a test on it—the questions were things that happened in the book, it was really simple. If you got a good grade, you got points. The more points you earned, the more eligible you were for the reading party at the end of each semester. Me, being the nerd I am, got top of my class because I went through 8th grade level books like it was nothing. The librarian at my school brought me books from the high school to read since everything was easy for me, and alas, my addiction began. And now that I have adult money, it’s a true addiction. Also, telling my father “I’m bored” and his response being, “go read a book or something” so thanks dad.

QUESTION: what’s one book you ALWAYS recommend to people?

This one is tough because I’ve read THOUSANDS of books, but if I had to choose one, it would probably be Confess by Colleen Hoover. I fell in love with her work in high school when I first read Ugly Love, but Confess is the type of book that pulls at your heart strings, y’all. It has everything people love: humor, sexual tension, drama, love. GO BUY THE DAMN BOOK. Or honestly any book by Colleen Hoover—she’s a fucking amazing author.

QUESTION: outside of making TikToks, what do you do for a living?

I currently work at a restaurant and hate every second of it. If anyone tells you to become a server, DONT. It’s not worth the hassle, I promise you. Sure, you can make decent money but the amount of rude customers and shitty tips you receive each shift is very disheartening. If you really need a job, do anything BUT work in the food industry.

QUESTION: what’s your wattpad story about?

First question: which one? I have about 30 drafts sitting there waiting to be posted. But, I’m going to assume you’re talking about the Harry Styles fan fiction I’ve been working on for the past 4 years and haven’t had the courage to post. I’ll tell you a little about it: Elaine Aldridge is forced into a betrothal to a man she’s never met & loathes. She goes to his court and realizes things aren’t what they truly seem. And the guard her future husband sticks on her??? None other than Mr. Harry Styles. Add in some magic & deaths and you’ve got my story— The First Prince. (Honestly, that’s an extremely shitty description so if you wanna check it out go to my wattpad account)

QUESTION: how old are you?

Ahem. . . twenty-one.

QUESTION: what is your dream career?

Being a published author and having people rave about my books. That’s all. Or, an editor for a publishing company. Imagine reading all day and being paid for it🤩

QUESTION: what was your least favorite read of 2020?

I already KNOW I’m gonna get shit for this but....... the wicked king. YALL I LITERALLY COULDNT GET THROUGH IT IM SO SORRY, I STILL HAVENT FINISHED IT

QUESTION: current favorite author?

Sarah. J. Maas. I don’t know what it is about her writing style, but it’s addicting. Throne of Glass is hands down the best series I’ve ever read. A Court of Thorns and Roses is the first book I’ve EVER reread. Her stories truly suck you in and hold onto you—you get lost so easily in her writing and it’s like once you’re done with a series, nothing will compare. Or, at least that’s how I felt after finishing Kingdom of Ash. Honorable mentions: Jennifer L. Armentrout, Penelope Douglas, L.J Shen, Elle Kennedy and Kennedy Fox.

QUESTION: any recommendations/tips to give to a new reader?

I’ve always given this advice to people who want to get into reading: find what you like and start with that. If you like romance, I’ve got a list for you to choose from. Mystery? Another list. Sci-fi? I GOT YOU. Fantasy? Yes! Sports fiction? It might take me a second but I’ll find you a book. Nonfiction? I’m zero help in that category, honestly. The point of the matter is that you’re never going to enjoy a book if you aren’t interested in the underlying topics.

QUESTION: do you ever find yourself comparing your life to fictional life?

Yes. All the time. I daydream about being apart of the Inner Circle and living in Terrasen with Aelin and Rowan. I think about what it would be like to have real powers and a mate. It drives my boyfriend crazy—but he loves me anyway.

QUESTION: what are your most anticipated books of 2021?

Here’s a list:

A Court of Silver Flames by Sarah J. Maas

The Crown of Gilded Bones by Jennifer L. Armentrout

Gods and Monsters by Shelby Mahurin

Crescent City 2 (Untitled) by Sarah J. Maas

A Vow So Bold and Deadly by Brigid Kemmerer (I just ordered this one & it arrives tomorrow)

Blessed Monsters by Emily A. Duncan

QUESTION: why did you start a Tumblr?

Honestly, I used to love tumblr when I was in grade school (way too young to be on here then but what else is new). I like having an extra space to get my questions and comments out without having to compress it into a 60 second video for TikTok to see. Tumblr is a good place to blog & post things like this.

QUESTION: what’s your favorite song right now?

I’ve listened to Carry You by Novo Amor every day for the past two months and I cry each time.

QUESTION: why write Harry Styles fan fiction?

Simple: I love Harry Styles. I’ve been a fan of him and One Direction since they were on X FACTOR. Read that again. X. Factor. I used to watch their performances on YouTube before WMYB even came out. Of course, I love all of the 1D boys but I was always a Harry gal. And I look up to him in a way—I’ve read things about people wishing they knew him personally and honestly? I would never want to meet him. I like the version of him I’ve cooked up in my brain over the past 10 years. I like the symbiotic relationship I have with his music. Fine Line is a ✨masterpiece✨. HS1 is a ✨work of art✨.

now, some topics I’ve been asked way too many times and want to finally get to:

QUESTION: political views?

the saying “anyone but trump” has been in my brain for the past four years. No, I’m not a republican. No, I’m not a democrat. I like to think of myself as a progressive (ahem, liberal) Did I vote for a democratic candidate? Yes, and I’d do it again and again until the US isn’t one of the worst countries—I’m sorry, businesses— to be apart of. I wanted Bernie but got Biden, and I’m alright with that. And my girl Kamala🥳

QUESTION: how did you feel about the BLM protests?

I went to multiple BLM protests and donated a lot of funds to BLM & other organizations. It’s 2021, people... stop being fucking RACIST. And don’t be afraid to call racist people out! Black Lives Matter, even if no one is posting about it anymore.

QUESTION: thoughts on abortion?

your body your choice, queen! not my uterus, not my problem.

QUESTION: there was a comment on an old video of yours talking about r*pe, why did you delete the comment?

I made a video when I first started my account on TikTok about reading in public and feeling “turned on” by it. Go watch it if you don’t know what I’m talking about. BUT, some ignorant male decided to comment and say “this is how girls get r*ped”. Whew. So. I deleted the comment because ....

I am a victim of sexual assault. Along with a lot of other women. 1 in 5 women have been victims of sexual assault. Talking about being r*ped isn’t funny.

No one else needed to see his comment. I reported it immediately and his account was shut down.

I never got justice for what happened to me, and the fact that some random male—who had never even met me or seen me before my video showed up on his FYP—had the nerve to comment that? Unacceptable.

this question isn’t as controversial but

QUESTION: what’s the best way to get out of a toxic relationship?

okay, let me just start off by saying that the people around you who love and support you are going to be your backbone. Leaving a toxic situation is hard, and every situation is different, but my best piece of advice to offer you is don’t be afraid to ask for help. Your loved ones are going to be there for you when you need them, even if you don’t believe they will. If you explain what’s happening, someone you know and love will drop whatever it is their doing to make sure you get out safely. good luck my babes.

now, back to our regularly scheduled program:

QUESTION: any tips on making tiktoks?

Literally none. I post what I think is funny and relatable and if anyone agrees, I’m satisfied. Even if it’s one view, it’s good enough for me. So I guess my one tip is to not base your life off of an app and followers.

QUESTION: favorite Harry Styles fanfic?

DONT MAKE ME CHOOSE. Duplicity is up there, along with Stall 1&2, and Kiwi. After? Absolutely not.

QUESTION: favorite WEBTOON?

y’all already KNOW. LORE OLYMPUS BY USEDBANDAID. Rachel is a genius and I have reread the series a million times. Hades is my soulmate and Apollo can rot in the fiery pits of the Underworld. also, if we’re talking about other webcomics, reading Walk on Water on mangadex...🤫

QUESTION: favorite movie?

Howls Moving Castle. I will be getting my “a heart is a heavy burden” tattoo very very soon.

QUESTION: I read your Elain theory on tumblr, can you explain a little more?

I thought I was pretty straightforward but I’ll say it again: she is always the “good” one and it’s too suspicious. SJM has already given one Archeron sister a happy ending, Nesta’s is obviously inevitable, but Elain? She has too many options for a happy ending. Lucien, who is her “mate”. Azriel, who is intrigued by her slightly. Her human guy—I don’t remember his name—who is disgusted that she’s not human anymore. Or, alone, planting flowers all day. BUT! My point is that she’s not truly happy. She was forced into the Cauldron just like Nesta. She was ripped away from the life she loved so dearly and didn’t want to give up. The man she was going to marry now hates her guts because she’s a High Fae. She has the perfect set up for a villain plot line and I’m all here for it.

well, that’s all I feel like doing tonight. hope you enjoyed my little q&a! be kind, and talk to you later! byeeee!

#a court of silver flames #acotar #harry styles #one direction #sarah j maas #throne of glass #wattpad #tiktok #elain archeron #howls moving castle #lore olympus #q&a time #walk on water #persephone #lore olympus hades

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lightwormlol · 3 years

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ACOFAS REVIEW -INC SPOILERS

4.5 stars.

Okay, so! This was the first book I was able to finish in 2021. I've kinda been in a reading slump, and struggling to get past the 30-50% of books. I think its because I took essentially 3 months off my normal (daily) reading schedule and have been prioritising other things (health, fitness, job applications etc) - I think it's a testament to how addicted I was to this that I finished and consumed this at the rate I did! I recently went back and added some things to my ACOWAR review. To briefly summarise, I feel that, at the time I read it, it kind of gave me what I needed, but it definitely isn't getting a re read - my love for feysand has definitely lessened over time, but honestly i'm not that mad at sarah for this, as I find that whenever I've passed the sexual tension part of relationships in books, I tend to get bored of the domestic bliss. Like, leave that shit for an epilogue and keep it at that? As someone generally averse to relationships, but there is definitely a grace period for how long I can actively be smitten with a couple... before it becomes sickly. Taking all this into account, I honestly was nervous for this book, its release date totally took me by surprise, and I read it on a whim. As a Nessian shipper (I mean we didn't really have a choice after acomaf but to delve into the world of fanfic to keep us going) - this book gave me most of what I wanted and needed from them! I think,(some) kudos to SJM, for not disappointing in their relationship. This was definitely a character > plot driven story. In terms of the plot, I wasn't really invested until around the 38% mark? I'm not sure if I was adjusting to the writing style (lots of dramatic. sentences. that. are. so. abrupt. Nesta Archeron. Death etc) - or if it was bc I hadn't read an SJM book since the novella, which I basically skimmed. I was obviously reading for Nessian, but I didn't really feel intrigued by the wider plot (death gods, the human queens? Given I had lost my previous obsession with the world/ have outgrown 'fandom' culture, that made me actively update my knowledge, I couldn't remember a lot!) I think its clear that SJM excels character driven stories, but I think her worldbuilding and execution is significantly better in the throne of glass franchise. Now, I did say this was a character driven story. This is mostly regarding Nesta, Cassian and Azriel. I loved pretty much any interaction they had! I love a good training montage. Ngl though, I think, unless you possess an ardent love for Nessian, you're not going to be particularly wowed by this, if you've read heir of fire, or even acomaf. I obviously am never going to be able to be objective, because I've loved nessian so much from 2017-now, but I loved the dynamic those two (and three - friendship wise between nes/cass/az). One of the highlights of ACOWAR for me was the snippets of Az, showing tenderness, and opening up to the newer members of the inner circle (and i'm excluding any hint of an Elriel ship because FUCK THAT LOL) For me, the tip with SJM books is: once you outgrow them/the particular mode of narrative style, is to not anticipate anything other than a character driven story, albeit one riddled with smut. I personally am a romance heavy reader, so I'm honestly deconditioned to it at this point, (like, when I see reviewers scandalised I'm like... wow, the amount of trash I have consumed in the last five years loool.) While I disagree with the fact SJM marketed this series as y/a (or maybe it wasn't her per se, but the key booksellers definitely did this for her) - I think its clear enough now she's descended into the adult/borderline erotica genre.(very mild imo). I personally like to adopt a policy of skimming sex scenes when I find the dialogue cringy (most the time it is lets be honest any talking is v second hand embarrassment). Cassian and Nesta were definitely better than Rhys and Feyre post chapter 55 though! I was so glad there weren't a million moments of Cass/Nesta betraying their arousal with their scents, in front of everyone (like feysand, the voyeuristic pda pricks they are). I found the slowburn ish nature of their relationship great, and I actually think if you're a virgo/emotionally stunted reader, you will be happy with their relationship dynamic. It contrasts with the daemati sexual snark of acomaf, but it felt right, and authentic. This book was a journey of personal growth, for Nesta. It is clear SJM loves books about strong women, and maybe thats what makes me love this book so much. I think, out of all the archeron sisters, I love Nesta the most. This is for my Rose Calloway fans, my misunderstood, somewhat cold/left out girls, who are less receptive to being vulnerable. If you're a slowburn fan, it's not Mariana Zapata levels of slowburn, imo it's the perfect combo. Addictive enough that I don't want to put it down, but not so fast moving that I couldn't believe it. I loved the sex without emotion relationship they had!! This is honestly never done in mainstream n/a fantasy, unless its a caricature of a 'slut' that normally rivals the main character, lmao. Even if their inner conflict was p transparent, this gave me everything I needed! I know this is vapid lol but I also love the physical dynamic between the two, they just look so good together, the amount of fanart I'm going to reacquaint myself with after this review!! I adored seeing Nesta grow, (even if towards the end I kind of resented her sudden acceptance into the inner circle, i get SJM loves her and just wanted a fluffy ending, but, as a Nesta like character, it's awkward and stilted on her end to adjust to the inner circle like this - i mean, hugging rhys, really??)

I think, if I had to compare this to any other SJM book, I would say Chaols book (though I obviously preferred this). That being said, I felt less attached to new characters in this book than I was in even Chaols book (and even then ngl I remember nothing?) Obviously I loved what it represented, as a trio of traumatised women. I just, didn't love this the way I loved other inner circle members! I get that they gave Nesta exactly what they needed, a family that doesn't hold the history of her sisters, who she doesn't have to worry about holding preconceived notions of disappointment. I loved this for her! Even then.. I just wasn't attached to either of them. I found their interactions cute - but boring. Towards the end, when their stories/pasts are revealed, I couldn't help but cringe slightly, I can't put my finger on why, but I just didn't buy it. Maybe it's the brit in me but I couldn't be moved by this slightly forced bonding moment.. which was so anticlimactic. My 'aww how cute' tolerance is defo deserved for characters whose tropes I love. Maybe they just didn't fit into this list. Maybe I'm just being a cow here?

Now, let's speak about the real star of the show.... A FUCKING MAGICAL HOUSE FRIEND??? YESSSSSSS. IF YOU ARE AN ILONA ANDREWS INNKEEPERS CHRONICLES FAN, U WILL LOVE! How was the animation of this somehow more touching than all of nesta's other friendships combined? Exactly what I ordered, thank you. This trope somehow touches more than any material bonding!! The cute witch x house dynamic (also maybe howls moving castle vibes?) I loved the trying to reach the target of 10,000 steps (a little Celaena HOF). I think this, heir of fire and acomaf are my favourite SJM books for this reason. Gripes: I definitely had some personal gripes with how other members of the inner circle treated Nesta (rhys i'm looking at you. Disappointed doesn't even cover it.) I inherently take offence to any elain scene, as i'm so over bland characters whose existence is reduced to wanting to fucking plant flowers?? like?? really? To go from moriel to that is such a downgrade, even if I fell out of love with Mor due to the way she snubbed Nesta (you're a 500 year old being and you can't see someone is clearly traumatised?). I adore Az so much, but if it aint polyamorous, I cannot see any pairing with Elain making me happy. (wouldn’t mind gwyn though) I think the whole mating bond that I do not want is a good dynamic, but I really hate that everyone has to be mates in this world. I don't think we were that surprised, but it would've been nice if the somehow, idk, developed a strong bond over time, without it being preordained? Like, even if they do not all actively stay with their mate, given how disproportionate mates are among the general population, what's the likelihood 6 members of the inner circle (including lucien) have mates?

My advice? Read this book if you love nessian and the acotar world in general, but don't expect the world building to be consistent with greater fantasy series'. This style of story is obviously what to expect. She writes what she likes, and if her fantasy is this - then who are we, as readers, to expect otherwise?

Final rating: 4.5 (no, i'm not objective, but objectivity does not exist if you are a real, human being, lol)

Original Characters: 5/5 (nessian/az/house wise) 1/5 (feysand - really over how they essentially take over the very end of the book - ugh, I wanted nesta's arc to be wholly separate from them) Writing style: 3.5 Cringe Scale: Low, with the exception of some dialogue. New Characters: 2 Plot: I went into it with a 2 and came out with a 4. Not in terms of complexity, but in terms of how addictive and enjoyable this reading experience was! (less)

#acofas #sjm #sarah j maas #acotar #nesta #nesta archeron #nessian

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hecohansen31 · 4 years

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Bow To No One

(A/N): Hey guys!

This is a rather... different work from my usual one!

This is my entry for @geekandbooknerd!

I have a confession to make: I am a Sarah J. Maas fan, a proud one.

And since I have been starting to write for the Vikings fandom, I have been low key interested into writing something mixed with my passion for these books. Since I don't think that there are many other Maas fans (but if you are: I love you), I wanted to give you a small summary about this world, which will make you enjoy this piece more.

Let's start with the fact that in this world, there are FAERIES and humans.

Faes differenciate themselves in lesser Fae (which are usually smaller faeries) and Faes, which are full-blooded and full powered faeries, that WILL KICK YOUR ASS.

Instead in the lesser Faes there are Illyrians, which are Faes with wings (and the wingspan equals the size of you-know-what down there) and misogyny (women in lllyrian culture are usually housewife and childer-bearers (plus their wings are clipped to keep them obbedient...). Reader is half Fae (from mom's side) and half-Illyrian (dad's side).

The Faes are divided in courts (7) and their rulers are called 'high lords'. All you have to know about this is that the Night Court (reader's one, since Illyrians belong in that one, and its high lord is Rhysand/Rhys, meanwhile the leader of the Illyrian armies is Cassian, and his mate Nesta, is reader's dearest friend) has had many many problems with the Autumn Court and alongside this... I created a few things: such as the civil war that has happened through the Illyrians and the one between the Night Court and Autumn Court, that is my doing!

In the Night Court there is also a smaller court which is called the Court of Nightmares, that belongs with the Night Court, but lately has been siding with the Autumn Court.

So I think that it all, but if you are unsure about anything... let me know!

All the ACOMAF world doesn’t belong to me but to Sarah J. Maas.

As always: feedback is super useful, so don’t forget to share a reblog or a comment, because it’d make my heart beat and my fingers writer faster!

SUMMARY: Tasked with the impossibility goal of directing the tiles of a war, you aren't exactly taken in account, till an unlikely alley, comes and changes everything for you, giving you the option of reaching for the future you have been promised.

WORDS: 6,9 K.

WARNINGS: Mention of Blood, Abuse, Slight Nudity and Sex, Misgyny, Mention of Mutilations and Battle, Torture.

You were bathing with your fellow soldier when the messenger came to announce you that the war lords had started the war council without notifying you, in the slightest.

Something that wasn’t the first time that had happened.

But you hadn’t raised to the grade of Illyrian general, just to be disrespected like that.

You hadn’t survived an entire training camp with Nesta Archeron on your side, rescued the Commander of the Illyrian armies and completed the blood ritual just to be treated as some commoner, when your small army had been vital to the war that had raged against the Court of Nightmares.

Cassian had been obliged to leave the entire problematic to the Illyrians, not only for the wounds that still pained him after the civil war, but also because he was busy fighting against the Court of Autumn, with a smaller part of the Night Court army.

The Court of Autumn had allied with Court of Nightmares against the high lord Rhysand, in a war that had been shaking all his territories, although the high lord had been able to spare some time to set up everything, after he had been warned by Eris.

And all the warlords had been called to defend Illyria, the first territory that had been attacked, left weak by the civil war that had been happening not too much ago.

Hence, as the new lady of Ylnian you had been ‘gently’ asked to join the cause.

Cassian had personally recommended you to the lords, but you knew what you truly were for him: his eyes and ears, meanwhile the rebellion went on, to try to keep things at bay and avoid the civil war sparkling up new embers of disobedience.

But you couldn’t do much.

You and your army, since your arrival, had been asked to appear only on the battlefield, almost banned from entering any war council, and most of the time the lords didn’t approach you.

Which wasn’t such a loss, since you were able to spy on them more calmly, examining the link of powers behind every relationship, something that was then poured on your letters to Nesta, and read to Cassian.

For now, you had been able to map out two areas of influence: the Ragnarssons, heir to a legacy that brought them to own half and more of Illyrian and Harald Finehair.

Your true father.

You had been thankful he hadn’t mentioned it and hadn’t even tried to approach you since your arrival, when you had walked in with your army on the first day as you processed to map out the settlement.

You had asked for his help during the civil war and he still hadn’t named his price.

But for now, he’d certainly appreciate you keeping quiet on your origin.

And you were glad to present yourself as an orphan who had grown into the power she now owned.

Certainly, nobody would have been happy to discover that you mother stood with the Court of Nightmares, in this war.

You had had enough time to observe the Ragnarssons still and you had been able to observe that they were five, from different mothers.

The firstborn being Bjorn Ironside, daughter of the legendary warrior Lagertha, stayed with her shieldmaiden to guard the houses of Illyria and the last one was Ivar The Boneless, tales of his deformation having travelled also to the Court of Nightmares, when you had lived there.

They were the one who fought for power, in a shift of dynamics that brought many fights out, something that you had been looking at closely, trying to find whether it might result in a new rebellion.

Or if it was just two males having a pissing contest to mark their territory.

And you had enough of it.

You exited the waters of the river you had been allowed to bathe in, guarded by your fellow friends who had had a turn before you to avoid any snoopers, since you were basically the only females in the settlement.

And many men had tried to persuade you in sleeping with them.

One day your right hand, Hella, had broken the hand of the somebody who had tried to grab her ass.

And when you had been brought in court for that, you had simply suggested they cut off his hand, for having tried to touch what wasn’t his.

It was fun scandalizing men.

You felt the eyes of your fellow soldiers onto you, tiredness and anger shining in them, as the messenger, a girl no older than thirteen and as thin as you had been at her age, asked if she should let your handmaidens know that you needed to get ready for it.

But if you had stopped to get yourself dried and in a dress, you would have wasted enough time that the war council would have been already over, because if you had to guess… they had already started without you.

So, you simply dried your naked body, before pushing your red mantle onto your bare figure, shielding what little modesty you had, but careful at hiding the stumps where your wings had been.

Another reason why you were happy of fighting against the Court of Nightmares.

After you had done this, you gestured to the messenger to guide you to where the war council was meant to be, finding yourself soon in a crowded tent, smelling of rotten beer and sweat.

You hid your face further in the hood of the mantle, as the messenger left you to return to her chores, tipped by you with an argent piece that she made disappear in the fold of her clothes.

Nobody noticed your presence, as you shifted closer to where all the war lords sat, walking through the area where their advisors stood, consulting each other, as they didn’t notice your slender figure, making your way through the seated spots.

You heard screams and immediately understood that there were disagreements.

The civil war hadn’t solely taken many men and forces, but it had also left deep wounds in the trust of the people of Illyria.

As you reached the thrones, you knocked down one, creating enough noise that it didn’t take them long till all eyes were on you, and your hidden figure.

Had it happened a year ago, you would have shifted away from all those eyes, but now you bathed in them, as you straightened your pose with the title which you had gained through blood and sweat, hang on your head.

You didn’t care if they hated you, if they didn’t respect you and they thought you were nothing more than a whore that got lucky.

You’d be heard.

You had already done enough begging and bowing, in your life.

“… why wasn’t I told that the war council would be happening?” you asked, your voice calm, not wanting to give them any excuse for any inappropriate comment, such as ‘are you on bloody moon?’ “… am I not a war lady?”.

“Lady (Y/N)” acknowledged you Bjorn as he shot you a quick look, immediately taking in your unusual dressing “… we didn’t think…”.

“Doesn’t it concern me” you spoke slowly, almost as with an assuming child “… the fate of my people?”.

“They aren’t your people” whispered tightly a lord with a grimace on his face “… your mother was a Fae whore”.

“I am not here to hear my mother getting insulted” you hissed, your mantle opening lightly on your front and you saw that all the males’ eyes shifted to your curves but you simply returned to your discourse “… I don’t think that you’d insult lord Bjorn’s mother, would you, lord Sigrid?”.

Laughter raised, as Bjorn and lord Sigrid looked uncomfortable, and you simply shifted your head to your audience.

“I have every right of standing in a war council as any of the other war lord. I have fought beside Commander Cassian and survived the blood ritual, enough to candidate myself to the role of lady and I am a truthful lieutenant of the army”.

It was good to remind to men that you weren’t a simple meek lady.

You had fought to get to the point you were now.

You had been lucky to have had the chance to prove yourself, but past that… everything you had achieved was yours.

And you turned to assure yourself that every lord had understood it.

Your eyes suddenly shifting on the most beautiful pair of the entire room: Ivar The Boneless’ ones, so light and frail, enough to be considered gems without a doubt.

And you lost yourself a bit, in them.

You hadn’t been attracted by anybody after Peter, but you couldn’t help but be slightly embarrassed as Ivar withhold your gaze, arrogance mixed with curiosity and interest in his eyes.

“… don’t make something like this happen, anymore” you tried to reign in the discourse, pushing your gaze onto Bjorn, glad that your eyes didn’t find him as enticing as his brother “… or I’ll march out with my army. Because what you are telling me, ignoring my presence and my title, is that you don’t need it to win this war”.

It was an empty threat.

You were under strict orders by the Commander to stay and remain till the war was over.

But it felt good to see their bodies shiver at that threat.

As much as they didn’t approve of a woman in power, they approved even less of you dictating what you could and couldn’t do about your army, alongside the fact that all your warriors had been carefully trained, and helped with their powers the army.

When you were convinced of having done a good effect on all of them, you sat down on the first empty throne, comfortably.

And then with a quick gesture of your hands, you told them to continue.

After the rough experience of the war council, disgusted by the suggestions of a few men as you exited the tent, as they tried to catch a glimpse under your mantle, you had gone to shoot a few arrows, something that always comforted you.

And you managed to confess everything that had happened in the war council to Hella, your second in command who had just listened as you ranted about the unfairness of you not being even allowed to intervene, as you shoot arrows right in the bullseye, your light fire powers burning the ground under your feet.

Hella wasn’t in the slightest as hotheaded as you.

She was twice as much.

But she knew better than to act out without thinking at first.

Back when she worked as a house slave, it had costed her a hand.

She tried to still comfort you, not with sweet words, but pushing you to give more and try more, as you planned how to involve your army and lands more in the rooms where power was discussed.

When your arms started to hurt, you and Hella decided to go back to the tent, thinking that sleep might be a better advisor than your tired limbs, as you joked lightly and giggled, allowing a bit of feminine charm through your teeth.

But when you arrived to the tent, you found Eline, your smallest handmaiden who rushed to you with true worry in her eyes, as she carried a vase of clean water for you to wash your sweat off.

“… I am sorry, lady (Y/N)!” she babbled worried “… I knew that I had strict rules about not allowing anyone inside of your tent but…”.

And before she could finish her discourse, Hella rushed in the tent, checking for you whether a danger had walked in or not, as you comforted a crying Eline, promising her that ‘she had done the absolute best job’.

And then Hella peaked her heard over the tent flap, her eyes showing annoyance, but she told you to move forward and you thought it was either lord Sigrid wanting to tell you to ‘fuck off’ or Harald telling you that you shouldn’t have brought so much attention on yourself.

Surprisingly: it was neither of the two.

But Ivar The Boneless was waiting for you, sat on the only chair in your tent, his eyes kept low, although you could see that he was spying you with the side of them, as you walked in, giving Eline the order to get back to her quarters.

Hella’s hand pushed onto her knife.

But you quieted, as Ivar’s attention shifted onto you, again, in his eyes, arrogance mixed with the obvious interest he had for you.

Strangely, not solely because you had walked in a war council with nothing more than a mantle.

“Lady (Y/N)” he welcomed you, as if he owned the place, pushing himself up, on unsteady legs, helped by his crutch, as he bowed in a mocking bow, but you mimicked his gestures, as you breathed out an annoyed hiss.

“Lord Ivar” you welcomed him, setting yourself onto a wood log you used as a bench, Hella remaining onto next to the exit with a wary attitude “… what might a man of your kind do here?”.

“My brothers sent me to give you a peace offering” he mumbled, as he sat down, and got out a pretty bottle from behind him, something that made your eyes sparkle, as you noticed it was expensive wine.

You hadn’t had a taste of it in so long.

But yet, you reigned yourself in, as Hella came to grab the bottle, to check it.

She was distrusting by nature and sometimes you thought she was exaggerated, but you always trusted her judgement and her willingness to sacrifice herself for you was something that you hoped would never happen.

She drank straight from the bottle, as Ivar sent you an outraged look, but you just feigned innocence, before Hella gave you a small approving nod, and you muttered gently to ‘give the bottle to the girls’.

You hadn’t time for wine, but it might help their mood.

Also this was Hella’s clue to leave you alone, although she shot you an angered look, but she did obey your order, with a violent close of the flap of the tent, effectively leaving you alone with the man who owned the most beautiful pair of eyes in Illyria.

It was beyond yourself why Ivar The Boneless wasn’t married, when he had a title to offer and the very intention to set himself onto the throne.

He’d need some secure ties with other camps to make them approve his cause.

Certainly, his deformation wasn’t comfortable to look at and neither to live with, but he seemed to have so much more to offer.

Enough that your eyes didn’t even reach his legs, staying on the strength in his wings, tightened by the need to carry the dead weight of his legs.

Had Nesta been there you’d have allowed yourself to joke about that impressive wingspan.

“… what are you truly here for, lord Ivar” you told him, once you were alone, leaving out any pretense of gentleness, as you unlaced your boots, your feet aching for a bit of relief, out of the uncomfortable shoes.

“You aren’t one for small talk, are you, lady (Y/N)?” a devious smirk appeared on his lips as his eyes ranked over your body and you asked yourself whether he was imagining what he had caught glimpse of in the war council.

And you couldn’t help but blush, a wave of vanity appearing in your body.

To be looked by such a beautiful and powerful man was truly a magnificent experience.

But you had passed the courtly courting.

You wanted to be respected.

“Are you here because you liked what you saw in that council room?” you tried him, as you lightly moved so that your pants raised a bit onto your tanned skin “… because a bottle of wine might not be enough to buy me”.

‘… and neither will all your riches’ your eyes told him.

And he was more than happy to let out a genuine smirk as his eyes moved away from your body, as they shifted in your eyes.

“You aren’t one that is swayed easily, that is as much as I know” he spoke calmly, as a predator examining his prey “… but except that? Not much. You are an orphan who lived enough to get a chance to meet the great Commander and then settled herself in a lady’s position”.

“Luck blessed me” you simply uttered, as you distracted yourself from his strong eyes lowering lightly your gaze onto your hands as you looked at the metallic band that was the sole link that you had with Harald.

The band that he had fashioned for your mother.

Had she chosen to marry him.

It fit your finger perfectly, enough that you never took it out.

“… there is no such thing as Luck” he mumbled, surprising you and for a moment you hoped and tried with all your strength to hold back the fear of having been discovered “… there is only us against an unjust Destiny, which we can fight solely with our hands and blood”.

“What do you mean with this?”.

It was confusing.

His entire attitude contrasting.

The arrogance he showed and the utterly vulnerability his words spoke of.

As if they were part of him.

“… that we aren’t so different” it was barely a whisper, but it was enough to make you raise your eyebrows “… we aren’t heard, as we scream, and we are thought to be inferior”.

“And what would you do about that?” you had a good idea about what he’d ask of you, but humored yourself with the knowledge, as you sent him a sarcastic laugh, something that always made any man discouraged from asking more of you.

Because you wanted this meeting to end.

But at the same time, you wanted and wished to know what was behind his captivating mind.

“I want us to work together” he proposed, genuine interest now shining in his eyes “… the councils are getting annoying, as we stall about whether attacking or not, and I know that you ache to attack the Court of Nightmares, like me”.

You had been.

But you weren’t sure it was for the right reasons.

Cassian had ordered to Illyrian lord to fight against the nightmarish armies, but to keep themselves in a defensive position, with no direct attack in the territories of the Court of Nightmares.

But it was slowly moving into a straining fight, hadn’t you been able to stop the communication and resources of the enemy line.

Because although you were losing your resources quickly, the Court of Nightmares could count on a perfect web for them, effectively being able to send their men to die and hide behind their forts.

But it would have meant attacking them.

And it might not have been not only as successful as you might think, but also it might be thought as an involvement of the Night Court truly, to all the other courts.

An act of the war that had just begun.

“… I am waiting for further orders” you mumbled simply.

You almost wished that you still had the wine to wash away the bitter taste in your mouth.

“You suggested attacking Mercia, at the council” you hadn’t thought anybody had listened to your idea “I agree, they have been exposing themselves too much not to be hurt”.

“You are absolutely not saying this because they were the ones who killed your father, are you?” you replied to his discourse, well aware of your sources on the Ragnarssons.

Ragnar Lothbrock had been killed the previous year during the civil war by lord Aella, when he had tried to take back some lands that neared with his.

That been the main reason why the Lothbrocks hadn’t taken part in the civil war but wanted to play a decisive part in this one.

Ivar had been with him, or so you had heard, during his crazy idea of gaining back what Ragnar thought was rightfully his.

It was the reason why he was so dead set on avenging his father and reigning the tides of this war.

He sent you an annoyed look, rolling his eyes at you, but you could feel that he had his own reasons to invade Mercia and you wouldn’t have held it against him.

“… don’t you have reasons of your own to want Mercia gone?”.

“As everyone else, because I know it’ll ease the pressure on us” you shot back, adjusting with your back straighter so that you could assume a queenlier appearance “… that is all”.

“I don’t trust that” he uttered, and you felt hit deep inside, but tried not to let him see “… but I can work with that. I’ll get them to attack Mercia”.

“That’s adorable” you muttered lightly “… Ivar The Boneless, you know as well as I how ‘easy’ it is for us to be taken seriously”.

“I will” and although you had undervalued him, his voice was steady as his eyes who found yours “… and then you’ll believe me”.

“Even better” you grimaced lightly, before an idea appeared in your mind “… if you get them to let us attack Mercia, I’ll pass a night with you”.

His eyes opened so widely that you were sure they would have rolled off his orbs, but you didn’t grace him with anything else than a last look, before you turned, getting ready for bed, as if he wasn’t there, till you heard him moving away.

Apparently, you had made an unlike alley.

---

Your alliance with Ivar had started reaping its fruits quite early.

Not solely because you had the chance to ogle at him, but suddenly the Ragnarssons seemed to ask for your opinion on everything and you heard Mercia being mentioned in their plans, although they wouldn’t go further than the simple mention.

And you didn’t understand if Ivar was doing for his own personal plans or for having the privilege of spending a night with you.

You had started spending your evenings together, planning a hypothetical attack as you moved pieces on a chess board as you played the enemy lines, knowing it far better than he expected.

It was nice because Ivar would treat you as a peer, certainly not abandoning the innuendoes, but he treated you exactly like another soldier, something that made you smirk softly as he tried to get you to confess your secrets just for you to expose his.

The banter felt good and it kept your mind active, as the strategical aspect of your conversation.

But slowly you were coming closer to each other, something that was dangerous if you wanted to keep your identity a secret.

And then that morning, Hella came in your tent screaming about how ‘you had to get ready because you were going to take Mercia’ and you couldn’t help but feel that excitement you had always had in your guts vanish, followed by fear and uncertainty.

Would you be able to get back the kingdom that had been promised to you?

You hoped.

Because if you didn’t, it wouldn’t have been solely a lost cause for you, but also for your army and you couldn’t afford a bad strategy when you were already in so much shit with the other lords.

It might be a daring move, but you hoped it paid off.

You and the others met with the Ragnarssons and the king of Vestfold, to set up planning and strategy, although you were sure that you wouldn’t have a problem overcoming the Mercian army.

Even more if Aelle guided it.

That poor arrogant fool would have kept his city locked in by his guards and sent a third of his army to fight you, since he thought that Illyrians were nothing but brutes who fought with head over spikes.

He didn’t think that you’d come to him organized and united.

Which is what you did, to his surprise.

You caught a glimpse of a smirking Ivar, as you moved closer, meanwhile Hella ordered the army to take position, following you closely.

“I managed to keep my part of our deal” he simply mumbled, again that arrogant smirk making you want to slap him…

… or kiss him.

The jury was still out on whether he’d be a good lover or not, but certainly he wouldn’t be a boring one.

“… I’ll let you sleep with me, if we can survive today” you mumbled, as you felt Hella take a sharp breath, before she ducked her head, sheepishly, but Ivar gave no sign of having heard your foolish words.

“Good luck, lady (Y/N)” he simply muttered, his hand moving to reach out for yours, as you caught his with a steely grip.

“To you, too, my prince”.

And then you separated, as you moved back to your army, Hella sending you a disapproving look and you simply shook your head

“C’mon don’t tell me that you, also, don’t want to try that wingspan!” you tried to joke to calm the air around you, feeling as if it was almost choking you.

You moved to the battlefield, as you regarded the hill where Aelle would have brought his men.

“… I do think that sometimes Cassian put yourself in that position because you are as reckless as him” she simply muttered, as she moved away a few loose strands of red hair from her face, pushing them to the side and adjusting them in a swift ponytail, as you did the same to have your visual clear.

You had to be able to focus on the enemy perfectly, to aim properly, as an archer.

“Don’t undervalue me, Hella” you remembered her “… I know how risky this all can be, I don’t take anything with less seriousness than it is proper”.

You promised softly, as she searched your hand gripping it tight, before facing you.

“And I am with you in this” she replied, with a tender look “… and just you wait till I tell Nesta that you offered your virtue that way!”.

“Please don’t! She’ll kill him, before I get the chance to take a proper look at that glorious manhood” you retorted softly, as she smirked at you, mimicking that her lips were sealed.

But you were glad for this distraction.

And then the storm started.

---

Your shoulder was broken, you were sure.

It must be, with the way it hurt like a burning fire piercing through your skin.

Hella sent you a light look, as she raised herself from the ground she had fallen on, her legs tired and barely able to keep her upright.

But you were still able to fight and keep yourself walking, as the Illyrians regrouped to go and invade the city that now was left uncovered, and as you secured your right hand to the healers, you joined the lords that hadn’t been injured heavily.

They all regarded you with some kind of fearful respect, and you were more than glad to bash yourself in their acknowledgement, before you made it clear that conquering Mercia right now wouldn’t have been easy.

‘We have defeated good part of their army!’ uttered victoriously Ubbe ‘… I say we strike the iron till it’s hot’.

“I know that Aelle hasn’t brought the entirety of his army, believe me. He left it to guard Mercia, and they’ll fresh and energetic, whereas we are lost and tired” you tried to protest sending a quick look to the dead bodies on the ground.

All equals once dead.

“Then we kill everyone who puts himself trough us and Mercia” replied ardently Hvitserk, and you almost wanted to slap the moronic youth from him, but even more from Ivar who agreed, about the plan, wanting that glory.

“I do think that you are acting like boys on your first raid” mumbled, putting himself between you and them, Harald, and you were surprised to know that he was supporting your suggestion, although his eyes didn’t meet yours “… we are tired and we don’t know what to expect”.

“… we aren’t retiring, we have proved ourselves” you spoke calmly “… we’ll move in three days, not enough for the entire court to realize that Aelle is gone, but enough to find more about them”.

And although they looked at you begrudgingly, they eventually accepted it, comforted by the tortures they could put Aelle’s body through, something that made you nauseous, although he deserved it.

The stumps of your wings lightly itching at the thought of it.

Eventually they set back to reach the settlements, and as you were turning to do the same, Harald walked to you, again his eyes not meeting yours, scared to catch a glimpse of himself in that girl that was a daughter and a stranger to him.

“Get that shoulder fixed”.

And you did quickly, as you bit in a piece of leather, meanwhile Caroline, your personal healer, pushed the bone in it’s rightful piece, barely able to put battens over your arm, since you insisted on wanting to be and free to exercise in the following days.

‘Do whatever the fuck you want, lady’ she had huffed at your command, but Hella had promised her that she’d make sure you’d wear it at least to bed, comforting her lover, as Carolina kissed her cheeks, glad to know her alive.

And as you walked back in your tent, you weren’t surprised to find Ivar.

“You are seriously determined to get yourself a night with me” you uttered tightly, as you sent him a small smirk, matching the deviousness on his lips.

But his eyes held no arrogance or malice.

Almost as if this was another person, not the Ivar that played with you as a cat toyed with a mouse.

“… I am not” he mumbled, almost as if the words pained him “… I wanted to let you know that we’ll bloody eagle Aelle”.

“Truly romantic” you mumbled “… is this your kind of foreplay?”.

“We aren’t sleeping together, lady (Y/N)” he hissed through his gritted teeth, and although you were taken aback, you tried not to show it “Not now, nor ever”.

“… you are the first man who is denying me” not that you had tried this bet on any other men, since before the training camps, you hadn’t had much chance to meet anybody, and even with Peter, your relationship had kept itself on a more psychological one.

A union of souls.

“I don’t doubt that you’ll console yourself soon enough” he retorted, wounded harshness in his words, almost as if he had been offended by your own.

“If you are going to be such a spiteful company, you should leave my tent” you replied in a truly poisonous tone, because if there was one thing that Nesta Archeron had taught you was that you didn’t lick the wounds in men’s ego.

“King Aelle asked of you” he spoke loudly, as you felt a thrill of fear go through your spine “… ‘the woman, the bitch without the wings’ “.

Of course, he found ways of sabotaging you even when he didn’t know who you truly were!

“… I’ll change and come with you” you mumbled tightly, between your teeth, attentive not to let anything be heard in your voice.

Because as much as your secret wasn’t that harmful, it had always been something that you had always treasured inside your heart, to the point that it was the sole thing that you hadn’t given of yourself.

Nesta and Hella knew it, but they had promised to keep the secret that you had screamed at the top of your lungs once you were so intoxicated that you couldn’t even remember your name.

But even then, alcohol poisoning your senses, you had remembered who you were deep down.

Suddenly Ivar’s grip appeared onto your wrist, luckily not the hurt one.

“Why would an enemy king want to talk with you?” he asked, his eyes shining of distrust and it almost pained you.

Hadn’t the time you had spent with him proved where your loyalties rested?

“… this is none of your business”.

“Then explain to me how an orphan managed to climb all the Illyrian hierarchies, because I can’t understand how you managed to put a title on your head without any help, maybe from the inside or…” his eyes sparkled viciously “… or from the outside”.

“Don’t insult me calling me a traitor” you retorted, your tone calm, but in your eyes raged a storm matching the one in his “… you know nothing, little boy”.

“I know that you certainly aren’t as pure as you claim to be” his insinuation made you almost sick to the stomach, and you quickly freed yourself from his grip, hissing at the pain of having to move the other shoulder.

And then you had enough.

“… he wants to talk with me, because I am the rightful lady of Mercia” your words seemed almost distant, as if they echoed from your heart “… because my mother is the current lady of Mercia who ‘sullied’ herself with an Illyrian king, having me”.

It seemed a lifetime ago.

Something that you didn’t remember.

But Aelle had never made you forget.

Not only for the beatings and the starving, but for your liberty stolen from you.

Ivar seemed confused and surprised, and you pushed him with more ease away from you.

“Aelle thought I was his child, because he married my mother when she had started seeing my father, but when I was five…” you remember the painful nights in which you had felt like your shoulder blades were to split open, and then your wings.

But more than anything you remembered the scared face of your mother and Aelle’s angry one.

“… my mother wasn’t able to hide her secret any longer. Aelle made the entire court believe that I was dead, suddenly taken by a child sickness, but I was to live as a slave, always remembering my mother her sin, and always made to remember what I lost”.

You had never thought that you’d have a chance to the throne, although you should have since your mother had owned the title of Mercia, and it should have been passed to her first child, legitimate or not.

But at the same time, as a slave you had never had the energy to think about a possible riot, who’d believe you and who’d want to help you.

But then the training camps had brought you out and made you bloom.

And now you were so close to taking back your crown.

As Elain The Seer had promised you.

To see Aelle punished for what he had done to you.

“I know I should have told you a long time ago” because Ivar had his own ambitions on Mercia, and you might have ruptured his plan, but at the same time, this was something that made you almost linked “… but I never thought I’d come this close to fulfill this wish”.

You had never thought you’d survive this far.

And even now it seemed a dream.

“I…” Ivar’s words were stuck in his tongue “… you have your own revenge with Aelle”.

“The greatest revenge that I’ll ever get on that man is retaking what is rightfully mine” you spoke, as your hand securely pushed a knife in your bandolier “… that’s why I didn’t join you or your brothers. I don’t have a grudge against his body. He took what is mine, and I want it back”.

Your wings.

Your family.

And your lands.

And then you exited the tent, because you wanted Aelle to know.

To know that you had survived.

Not only survived but bloomed.

And that in three days you’d take his crown.

But as you were moving in the darkness outside the tent, Ivar’s hands shot again to your wrist, and as you turned around, you finally felt the tears that had fallen on your cheeks.

“… I am sorry for thinking you were a traitor” he mumbled tightly, almost as if it costed him to say the words “… I didn’t…”.

“I don’t want your pity” you replied through your gritted teeth, almost growling at him, as you felt stupid for your emotional response.

“I am the sole person that won’t give you any pity” he mumbled, as if he knew himself something behind what you were talking about “… I am a heartless bastard, am I not?”.

“You fucking are” you whispered tightly, feeling yourself a bit calmer as Ivar sent you a light smile, his grip on your wrist becoming loose, but the pads of his hands still brushed against your arm, making a light shrill of excitement go down your spine.

“… a true lady”.

You knew that he was shifting the attention away from your fight and you allowed him to happen.

As his hands lightly shifted to yours, taking it in his.

---

Facing Aelle had been tough, but you had been glad to have done it.

Glad to have faced the man that had ruined your life and told him what you had always wished to say.

‘Fucking bitch!’ he had called you, as Ivar dragged away his brothers, something for which you were grateful, although you had had to leave the weapons outside, since Ivar had clearly said, he wanted to be the one who made Aelle drew his last breath.

You had to admit that hadn’t you been completely oppressed by the thought of Aelle, you would have more than likely brought him to bed, even if he didn’t want to actually take your offer.

That bloody revenge and dark ambition making you ache pleasurably between your legs.

“You shouldn’t insult the only thing that is stopping them from butchering you open” you didn’t delude yourself to think that he’d actually beg for you to spare him.

Not that you had any intention about doing it.

“You were always a fucking nuisance!” he screamed again, trying to push against the restraints on his hands and legs.

He was exposed on a table as a pig, ready to be slaughtered and hadn’t you lost any ability to feel pity towards that swine you would have almost felt bad for his honor completely shredded.

“… it isn’t my fault that I was born this way” you spoke, knowing exactly what he blamed on you “… and I don’t fault you for not wanting me on your kingdom”.

You couldn’t.

If you had been in his place, you would have probably killed the illegitimate child, to avoid any rebellion and making their life as bad as yours.

“But you took something very precious from me”.

Your wings.

And alongside that your freedom.

“… you’ll be nothing but an Illyrian whore” he spat, right on your face as you lowered lightly yourself to be able to face him.

“And you’ll be a dead king…” you retorted as you moved out to dip your hand onto his chin to make sure he looked at you in the eyes, to be the last thing he’ll ever see “… a nobody, not even your family will remember you”.

“I created a fucking legacy!” he replied, again spit hitting your face and you pushed your grip onto his throat.

The temptation of shutting him up for ever definitely coursing through your veins.

But you were better than him.

You’d have fun knowing that he was getting chopped in pieces as you slept peacefully.

“I’ll take your legacy in three days” you promised him “… I am the rightful heir to Mercia, and believe me… I’ll do a better job than you”.

And like that you turned around, your step steady, as you came face to face with the Ragnarssons, admiration in their looks, but you didn’t feel better.

In the slightest.

---

As Ivar slithered in your bed, you knew you shouldn’t have allowed him, in it.

This was much more dangerous than the fuck you had promised him.

But you let him come closer to you, the smell of soap reassuring you as he gently enveloped you in a loose hug, although you could almost see the stain of blood that had been on his hands.

The blood of Aelle.

Was it wrong to cuddle against such a murderer?

But as you came closer to him, you couldn’t help but believe that you weren’t anything more than two young people searching a bit of warmth in a life that had taken and taken by them.

The words escaped your mouth:

“… I didn’t… when the wings came out, I was so scared, I thought I was sick…” you felt Ivar snicker slightly against your skin, as you shushed him with a light look, shot blindly in the dark, as he set himself onto your naked shoulder “… and then I understood what they were and… also Aelle did… he wanted to kill me, but my mother got in the way and…”.

This was the hardest part, because they were your fondest and worst memories of your childhood.

Ivar’s wet nose, due to the humidity outside of the tent, brought you back, keeping you grounded something for which you were extremely grateful, as you searched for his eyes, shining in the dark of your intimacy, as you came closer to him, your lips almost touching.

“… my mother allowed me one last flight” you felt Ivar take a sharp intake of breath “… it was the only time it happened, before they… it just… it just made me feel like I lost more”.

And then tears again started dripping down your cheeks, and Ivar hugged you closer, holding you through that stormy night.

His lips on your forehead and his hands tight on your waist.

You had survived this.

You’d get through this.

And you’d get your freedom back.

---

@youbloodymadgenius @alexhandersenx @peaceisadirtyword @maggiescarborough @fantasydevil2002 @ dee-dolly1234 @tireddork-knight @ sujusfs14499 @angel-cherrycake @stillreadingfantasy @sadbutatleastsassy@ fantasygirl1864 @mydearmulberry @ mynameisthe @ caro-rstk4 @tofadavidson @andreiaafaria @rls905 @emilie1993 @coralwithoutthereef @walkingtothesun

#Ivar #Ivar The Boneless #Ivar Reader #Ivar x Reader #Ivar Imagine #Ivar Fic #Ivar Angst #Angst #Ivar Lothbrock imagine #ivar lothbrock x reader #ivar ragnarsson #Ivar Ragnarsson Imagine #Ivar The Boneless Reader #Ivar The Boneless Imagine #Vikings #HIstory Vikings #Vikings Imagine #ACOMAF AU #Illyrian AU

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