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#I am trans and I’m genderfluid and I’ve spent years with my gender wandering around between many many many genders
the-trans-dragon · 2 years
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#trying my hardest to let my gender be fluid without being harsh on it#I’ve been finding myself cozy using woman-y words for myself lately and it#makes me feel very tense since I’m afab#I am trans and I’m genderfluid and I’ve spent years with my gender wandering around between many many many genders#agender and trans man and nonbinary and bigender and Demi gender and#it always makes me nervous when it swings towards woman because it feels like#oh now I’m cis okay#and it makes me very afraid that I should be isolating myself from the trans community during that time#like quarantining myself because my gender isn’t trans enough right now#and it feels very weird to be Butch and be androgynous and be seen as a man and a woman by strangers#and to be afab and feel something similar to dysphoria when I’m mistaken for a boy#it feels like I’m larping as a trans woman or fetishizing the experience or trying to claim it as my own when I have no right#the shared experiences of trans women and butches is a long history but I still feel guilty about feeling like I’m trans and like I’m#closer to being a woman than normal#It makes it hard to experience my gender without guilt which is weird#but there’s a ton of fun stuff about it too like being able to call myself a lesbian#or experience happy gender feelings when my wife calls me feminine terms#if I just refuse to worry over other peoples opinions then everything is fine#but I do worry and I am concerned with the opinions of my community and I am afraid I’m doing queerness in an unacceptable way#3: sorenhoots#sorenhoots#soren stresses 3:
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