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#I both loving building everything and hate doing it because it takes longer then I want
skygemspeaks · 6 months
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do you guys want to hear about my sanji's siblings love him au?
who am i kidding, of course you do
anyways
ichiji, niji, and yonji run on facts and logic. they're programmed to have loyalty to their family, and sanji is part of that family, even if he can't do everything they can do.
and the way they see it, it just makes more sense for their loyalty to lie with the brother they shared a womb with for nine months over the father that insists on abusing all of them.
it's not sanji's fault that he's weak and has emotions. that's an objective fact. he was born the way he was. it could just as easily have been any of the rest of them that were different.
so sure, they'll follow judge's orders, because they have to, because it's what they were born to do, but they're not gonna take any of the shitty things people do or say about their brother, least of all their father
sora adores her children. because judge hurt them terribly by taking away their free will, but that's none of their fault, and they're trying in the only way they know how. she's patient with them, trying to teach them about morality and the importance of doing the right thing
at their age, they don't really understand it, but they do notice that people are more likely to do what they want with little fuss if they treat them the way their mom says they should
but then their mom dies, and maybe the loss of his wife is what pushes judge over the edge but he lashes out at sanji, because somehow in his mind sanji is the reason for sora's death. if it weren't for the poison she had taken, which had turned sanji into the weakling that he was, sora would still be alive
ichiji and the other two are furious. they hate this empire that their father has built for himself - and that little fact, that they can hate it at all - goes unnoticed by all of the kids
but they do hate it, and with their mother gone there's no reason for them to stay. so they take sanji, and they take reiju, and the five kids escape from the Germa kingdom and never look back
they work whatever odd jobs they can. and then one day they come across zeff - after he had been rescued from the island he was stranded on for months
and this zeff still has both legs and he didn't suffer as much because he didn't have a child to give up all his food for, but he still decides to give up pirating. he lost his entire crew in that storm, and he has no desire to sail the seas without them
so he had set out to fulfill his dream of building a floating restaurant for himself. he's living on an island in the east blue, and he comes across these five children. one of them, sanji, latches onto him as soon as he finds out that he's a chef. slowly, over the months, their relationship develops and grows stronger.
zeff isn't an idiot, he knows there's something wrong with these kids, but he doesn't pay it much mind. he treats them like any other children, with all the kicking and scolding that entails
normally ichiji and the others wouldn't put up with this kind of treatment from anyone, but they see the way sanji and reiju latch onto zeff, the way the two of them follow him like lost puppies and positively preen at any positive attention he gives them, and they decide they'll put up with it.
it's not like the crappy geezer's kicks actually hurt the three of them
so zeff takes reiju and the boys in, even if it means that food will be a little tight until their restaurant gets off the ground.
the 5 of them grow up on the baratie, protecting their home and surrounded by the gruffly affectionate cooks that are drawn to their father's way of life. it's so different from the environment that they had been born into that they don't know what to think. sanji and reiju take to their new life like fish to water, but it takes a little longer for the boys
yonji respects sanji like he respects his other older brothers. he watches sanji, sees the way he loves and hurts and grows. the intensity of the things sanji feels is completely foreign to yonji, but it stirs an unknown feeling in yonji's heart. he doesn't know what it is, but it makes him short-tempered with his brother
by now zeff has been around his kids for a while, and he's more or less figured out what's up. yonji learns from zeff that what he's feeling is jealousy. that he wants something sanji has that he doesn't
which should be impossible.
yonji doesn't feel things.
zeff shrugs and doesn't argue. he just leaves his kid to figure things out on his own.
after that, it happens slowly, so very slowly, but over time, ichiji, niji, and yonji start feeling more and more emotions. their emotions are still pretty dull in comparison to the frightening intensity of what sanji, reiju, and other people feel, but they cherish this new aspect of themselves.
and it turns out that sanji hadn't been the only one affected by their mother's desperate attempt to save her babies. the others had as well. it had just taken a little more work to draw their humanity out of them
by the time don krieg makes the ill-fated decision to attack the baratie, they still don't have the depth of emotion that other humans do. and maybe they never will. but they have enough to know that they will destroy anyone who even thinks of threatening their father's treasure
and they have enough to shed tears when their brother - a piece of their hearts - sets off with the future king of the pirates
it hurts, to have him leave them. and that hurt is something they wouldn't have had to feel if they had remained the way they were as children
but even that hurt is precious to them
because it's a product of how far they've come, and how much they've gained
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diagnosedpsychosis · 9 months
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FALLING ASLEEP AT WORK
I just wanted to thank every one for the love I'm receiving for my other little imagines, and to let you all know that if you have anything you want me to write (character or prompt, or both) just let me know and I'll see what I can do.
Description: You had a crappy morning and are clearly struggling to stay awake. Aaron offers the two seater couch in his office to you.
Word Count: 2.7k
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You absolutely hated wearing your glasses. You despised them to no end, and in a perfect world they'd never of been created. You hated wearing them. The way they dug into the bridge of your nose. The fact they'd slip every 30 or so seconds so you'd have to readjust them. How if you pushed them up, the second you'd try to take them off they'd tangle in your hair and create a small knot you couldn't detangle until later that night. The way that the lens was so powerful that whilst it gave you perfect vision, it also elicited a powerful headache.
You loved how they looked, but far out did you hate how they felt.
Today wasn't a good day for you, in fact you couldn't even remember your last good day, but today trumped all your other bad ones. You'd woken up to the night-time construction work happening on your street at 3 in the morning. When you finally managed to get back to sleep an hour and a half later, it turns out some of the tradesmen out front had accidentally hit a water pipe and it blew up out of the ground and into the air. So not only were you now awake at 4:30 am, but you were also getting drenched as everyone in your building was evacuated out, instead of staying inside, away from the burst.
Everything had been cleared rather quickly and soon enough everyone was filing back into the building at 5 in the morning. You had an hour and a half until you had to get up and get ready for work, but this mornings events left you wide awake and unable to sleep despite how desperately you craved it.
So you decided to have an actual shower. You got undressed, took all your jewellery off, stepped under the shower head, pulled the tap and...no water came out. You spent five minutes trying everything in your power to get it working when the memories of this morning hit you and you realised the construction workers had hit the main water source.
You were frustrated, tired, naked and on the verge of tears not because you were actually upset, but because you were so overwhelmed. You had been so tired the night before and were so excited to sleep the night away, but the day had other plans for you and now you felt partially blind, struggling not to fall asleep standing up every time you blinked and your eyes lingered closed for a couple seconds longer than usual.
It was too late to get anymore sleep in before work, so wanting to at least fix one issue you walked back into your room, threw on a nightie and grabbed your contact lens case from your bed side. Walking back into your bathroom you opened the little container, your hand beside it on the sink as you bent to grab the saline solution from the cabinet, but as you went to stand back up your hand slipped and a second later you heard a plop sound come from the toilet.
You stood, frozen in time and just shut your eyes. Breathing in and out slowly you imagined all the things that could've possibly fallen in the toilet. You could just buy a new toothbrush if that's what fell in. A new roll of floss was only a couple bucks. You thought of everything that wasn't exactly what you knew it was, purely just cause you couldn't have a worse morning.
But then you opened your eyes, found your open eye contact container floating upside down in the toilet and stormed back into your room to scream into your pillow that held mascara stains.
That was how you found yourself walking into the Quantico building, with the old black framed glasses you'd stopped wearing a year or so ago perched on the bridge of your nose.
"Hey gorgeo- Whoa" Derek's hands flew straight up in the air in defence, cutting himself off mid greeting as your exhausted eyes snapped to him. You didn't look scary whoa, or ugly whoa, you looked 'I haven't slept in years and my slightly red eyes are begging you to knock me out so I can sleep for an eternity' whoa.
"Morning" You grumbled, unable to even offer Derek a grateful smile as he slowly passes you the same coffee he brings in for you every morning. You two stop at the elevator, your tired eyes staring at the metal doors, and Derek's watching and worrying about you as you slightly sway back and forth.
"You look rough. Bad night?" Rough? Bad night? You felt like hell and that was underexaggerating it.
"Stupid construction woke me up, hit a main water pipe, evacuated my apartment building, left me showerless and then stupid me knocked my contact lenses into the toilet" Derek sucked in a sharp breath through his teeth, reaching out and rubbing your back for you, trying to relieve some tension. You arched away from him, and caught his frown in the elevator door, offended you flinched away from his touch.
"If you keep rubbing my back I'll fall asleep on the spot" You mumbled, barely having the energy to even speak.
"You're not going to be productive if you're fighting to keep yourself from falling asleep all day. Just go home" Derek hoped he didn't sound rude and dismissive, and thankfully relief flooded his body as you looked up and offered him a lazy smile.
"I love how concerned you are about me, but I can't go home."
"Why not?" Derek asked, frowning. It was either just go home now or get up to the sixth floor, struggle and then have Hotch tell you to take the rest of the day off, neither of which you wanted. You loved your job, you wanted to be there more than anything, but...maybe a power nap isn't such a bad idea.
"Cause then I'll be letting the team down" Derek laughed, the elevator doors opening as he slung his arm over your shoulders and practically dragged you out.
"No you won't. You look like hell, every one will understand" You squinted your eyes up at Derek as you glared at him.
"So much for calling me gorgeous" You grumbled, Derek pushing on the bullpen door and shoving you in first before following after. He used his arm around your neck to pull your head toward him, before planting a kiss to your cheek.
"Y/n, you're absolutely breath taking, but you also look like hell" You huffed, glaring at Derek before pulling his arm off of you and taking a seat at your desk. You had barely been sitting for 5 seconds before Emily stopped in front of your desk.
"I haven't seen those frames in ages. What's it been, a year?" She asked, her loud voice gaining Spencer and JJ's attention, the latter standing to join Emily at your desk.
"I hate 'em" You grumbled, glancing up at the two girls before looking back down at your desk. Emily and JJ frowned, glancing at each other, wondering what was wrong, but all questions were answered as Derek swung around in his desk chair grinning.
"She flushed her contacts down the toilet" You sucked in a deep breath, side eyeing the direction Derek's voice came from before unpacking your bag, pulling case file after case file out, and neatly stacking them on your desk.
"Usually the nerdy teen in a high school rom com takes off her glasses and puts contacts in, but here you are, choosing not to conform. Good for you" Emily teased as you looked up at her, ignoring JJ and Derek's snickers.
"I love you Em, but I'm moody and running on about 2 and a half hours of sleep" Her mouth formed an 'o' shape as she held her hands up in defence and backed away slowly.
"Drift, caught" She said before turning and heading back to her desk. You sighed to yourself, turning back to face your desk properly. You noticed in the corner of your eye Spencer leaning forward in his seat.
"Are you alright, y/n?" You looked up and toward Spencer, offering him a tiny, appreciative smile as you slowly nodded your head.
"I'm alright, thank you Spence. Just a lot of night time construction going on lately. It's keeping me up" Spencer nodded his head once before sitting back in his seat and looking down at the case file open in front of him. Slowly, you sunk back into work, despite the overwhelming exhaustion consuming you. Spencer's silence lasted seconds.
"I know I live a little further out of the city-" Spencer began, sitting forward again and easily gaining your attention, "but if it gets really bad you can always stay on my fold out couch."
You couldn't fight the smile on your face as you stared at the genuinely caring and compassionate kid in front of you. Spencer had always felt like a baby brother to you, but he had the protectiveness of an older brother.
"I might just have to take you up on that offer" Spencer smiles before getting back to work and losing himself in his own mind instantly. You look away from him before half swinging around in your chair and looking in Derek's direction. Derek feels your eyes on him and looks up, frowning as you point at Spencer, mouthing 'real friend'. He rolls his eyes, a playful smile on his face as he shakes his head and gets back to work.
For at least 3 hours you manage to keep yourself awake. Cup of coffee after cup of coffee, after energy drink, after standing in front of the freezer in the kitchen, make you think you've finally got used to being awake. But then people start leaving at around 11:30, starting lunch breaks and you start getting tired again purely at the thought of eating and doing nothing.
Hotch glances out his window, looking into the bullpen when his eyes catch you frowning at your desk. From where he is it looks like you're stuck on whatever you're working on, when in reality you'd blinked but were yet to open your eyes. Noticing most of the others aren't in the bullpen to help, he stands up and makes his way out of his office.
"Y/n?" He calls from the top of the stairs, his usual frown deepening as you don't answer. He notices you don't have headphones on and wonders if maybe you're just lost in your head, too focused to even hear him. But then he walks down the steps, getting closer, and notices the slow rise and fall of your chest.
Hotch had heard about your morning, after all, it was hard to not hear the booming voices of your team as they all spoke too loud for such an early hour in the morning. So when he stepped even closer, and noticed the faint exhale every time your chest fell, he wasn't surprised to realise you were asleep.
Despite the fact you were at work where you were supposed to be busy 24/7, Hotch wanted you to sleep. He had every intention to slowly back away and return back to his office, but you looked so uncomfortable. Your head was almost completely tilted down, chin on your chest as your shoulders hunched over. You would be beyond sore when you woke up, and Hotch didn't want that for you either. So slowly he stepped closer before crouching down in front of you.
"Y/n?" He spoke softly, placing one large hand on your knee, and the other on the chairs arm rest. You stirred but didn't wake up, instead letting out a heavy exhale as you further sunk into the seat. Hotch patted your knee with a little bit more force, using his hand on the arm rest to lightly shake the spinning seat.
Slowly, you opened your eyes, the same frown you'd worn all day glued to your face as you looked up before back down, your eyes widening when you realised who was crouched down at your knees. You immediately sat up straighter, and a little more awake as you cleared your throat, immediately starting to apologise.
"Oh god, Hotch. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-" He quickly cut off your rambling with one single amused raised eyebrow. You sputtered on your words, tilting your head slightly in confusion as you stared at the slight smile playing on his lips.
"You're going to give yourself a hunch back if you continue to sleep sitting up" Your hardened expression slowly softened, a light laugh passing by your lips as you raised your hands to rub your eyes.
"I know, I'm sorry. I was doing so good" You scolded yourself, disappointed you'd fallen asleep and your boss was the one to find you, out of everyone.
"For someone running on two and a half hours of sleep, you've done good" You sighed, keeping your hands to your eyes to block out the light.
"You heard about that?" You ask, spreading your index and middle fingers apart to peak out at Hotch. He nodded, his smile still small and soft as he stared up from you, not having yet moved from below you.
"Voices travel" Hotch replied.
"Sorry" You mumbled apologetically, eyes following Hotch as he used your knee to push himself up, going back to his naturally towering height.
"Make it up to me by moving to the couch in my office?" He asked, using his foot to spin you and your chair out from under your desk. You snorted, leaning back in your seat and crossing your arms over your chest.
"Sounds more like a win for me" You stated, Aaron shrugging as he stuffed his hands in his pant pockets, his gaze unwavering, locked on you.
"You get to sleep, I get my smart, refreshed agent back. It's a win win" You absolutely loved the sound of a nice couch nap, and in Hotch's office of all places.
"Really?" You asked, Hotch slowly blinking before nodding and offering you a smile.
"Mhmm" With a dramatic huff, you stood like you were being forced to do what he said, when really you could kiss him for the suggestion.
"Well... only cause you won't shut up. I've never met a man that begs so much" You pushed your chair in, following Hotch up to his office.
"I don't know if that's what I'd call begging-"
"It is" You quickly cut him off, your grin widening as he glanced back at you over his shoulder, with his smile still present. You stepped inside his office, immediately making a b-line for the couch under the window that lead outside.
"You can close the blind if you want" Hotch pointed at the open blind behind you as he closed the door to his office, grabbing a coat off the back before making his way toward you.
"It's not going to make it harder to see for you?" You asked, wanting to make sure he was 100% okay with it. He snorted, stopping in front of you and holding the coat out, waiting for you to take it.
"I think I'll live, y/n" You took the coat with an appreciative smile, watching him turn around and walk behind his desk, before you closed the blind. You put your arms through the coats sleeves, the back of it against your chest like a blanket. You went to lay down but quickly looked to Hotch.
"You're sure this is fine with-"
"Yes....the company is nice" Hotch replied softly, now sat behind his desk, flicking through a case file. The corners of your mouth slowly spread into a genuine smile.
"Even mine?" You asked, watching Hotch as he looked up and away from his work, his eyes latching onto yours.
"Especially yours" You bit back a tired grin, turning away from Hotch to hide the blush quickly rising to your cheeks. You laid down, bringing your knees to your chest as you snuggled into the large coat Hotch had grabbed off the back of his door for you. You felt your eyes grow heavy, but just before you let sleep overcome you, Hotch spoke again.
"Just don't snore" You laughed, shaking your head lightly.
"No promises."
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bbyquokka · 9 months
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my soul mate is my cat
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pairing: lee minho x gender-neutral reader
genre: angst with a comfort ending – MDNI
synopsis: you adopt a cat to help ease the pain realising he is similar to someone you once held close to you
warnings: animal adoption, mental health, loneliness, unable to care for oneself, soft ending, soul mates, reincarnation
words: 1.7k ~ (1,704)
♡ m.list — ♡ you can also read it on my ao3
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dont repost. dont translate. minors, ageless & default blogs; dni! feedback and reblogs are highly advised and appreciated!
“why don't you adopt a cat!” you look up at your best friend and laugh.
“a cat?” you scoff. “seriously?”
your best friend nods and grins before taking a sip of their spirit. you're both out on a best friend date, eating at a local café whilst catching up on life.
“why not? cats are easy to take care off!” 
“i can hardly look after myself let alone an animal.” you chuckle softly.
“oh c'mon yn! are you not lonely since.. well, y'know..” you swallow as your best friend trails off. you let out a sad sigh as you look down at your pastry, suddenly feeling nauseous and the pastry looking unappetizing.
you have noticed that the days are long but the nights are even longer. since being alone, your apartment has felt twice the size of what it usually is. you haven't become lazy per say but the appeal of washing dishes and doing laundry just drains you the more you think about it, causing a pile to build and build until it becomes unmanageable. everything just reminded you of him, of minho. you hated being in the same four walls for that exact reason but you feared that if you left, you’d forget so you willingly trapped yourself.
you'd worry you'd forget about his smell. how he sounded. how he dressed. you still have all his belongings, scared and refusing to throw them out or give them away. every item of clothing still holds his scent, that scent that brings you so much comfort yet such sadness. everything of his still sits on your dressing table. photos, trinkets, dried up flowers, expired amusement park tickets–they're all memories.
nothing has quite been or felt the same. you went from being incredibly loved and being in love by an amazing and wonderful human to feeling nothing. just an empty shell walking and breathing. the only reason you are out right now is because your friend practically barged into your home unwelcomed, forced you to get dressed and dragged you out.
you can't deny that it feels nice to be outside again. the wind on your skin, the chirps of the birds and the buzz of pedestrians however, that part of you just wants to go home and bury yourself under heaps of blankets.
“c'mon yn. i think it'd be good for you. if not, at least think about it.” 
and think about it you do. as you wander around your apartment, all you can think about is a cat wandering around your home. maybe having a fluffy companion would do you some good. maybe it would bring you back and light that spark that's been extinguished.
the more the think about it, the more you want it. a sudden burst of energy rips through your body as you clean up your home. putting laundry in the machine, cleaning up dishes and throwing away trash. you bleach and disinfect every surface in your home, scrubbing until you can see your reflection in the counter tops. 
once that was done, you venture off to the pet store to grab the necessities. cat tree, scratching post, food and water bowls, litter box and litter alongside some food, treats and toys. maybe you overspent and the cat wouldn't use half of what you bought but it's better to be safe than sorry.
you made sure you home is cat friendly, feeling like you're baby proofing the apartment. you tuck away any loose cables, hide anything that could be potentially swallowed and cause harm. you haven't even decided if you want a cat or a kitten but either way, you will know once you come face to face with the animals.
“hi. i'm looking to adopt a cat.” you say to the shelter worker. you walked to your local shelter knowing it's better to adopt than to shop. they smile at you before asking you some questions and filling out some paperwork before leading you to the kennels.
there, you see a whole array of animals. puppies, kittens, dogs, cats. some old, some new. some frightened and some jumping all over the place with excitement. your heart melts but at the same time drops. seeing all these animals in kennels that have been abandoned and are waiting for their forever home, makes you wish you could just scoop them all up and take them home.
but for now, you can only pick one.
as you walk along the kennels, cooing and sighing at the adorable faces of the many breeds of dogs and cats, do you stop at one in particular.
you squat down as the cat stands from its resting place, uncurling itself and stretching out its stale limbs. it's a black, long coat cat with white around it's paws making it look like it's wearing socks. a little white moustache and white chest with long whiskers and pointy ears with tuffs of fur at the tips.
“hi.” you whisper as you put your hand up close to the metal. the cat sniffs your fingers, its pink nose twitching with each sniff before headbutting and rubbing its head on the bars. you stroke the back of its neck gently, heart melting as it starts to purr loudly.
“i want this one.” 
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
it's been a few weeks since you adopted the cat, who's name is lee. lee was wary at first, hiding in the bathroom and nervous of its new surroundings and new noises. you spent time sitting outside the bathroom door trying to gently coax him out of the bathroom and let him know that he is safe.
soon enough, he gingerly stepped out off the bathroom, rubbing his head and body on your legs and hands as he would beg for attention. once lee knew he was safe did he show you his true side.
you learnt that he is a very playful yet stubborn cat. you'd catch him on the counter top (or even on top of the fridge) every time you tell him down, he would look at you and groom himself. you can't do anything about it though; he's a cute cat!
as you both slowly get accustomed to one another do you start to notice traits; traits that are all to familiar to you.
the slow blinks, the stubbornness, the playfulness. how he would meow at you when asking specific questions. the head tilts and the sudden swat of his paw on your hand; it's hard to explain to others but to you, you just know
it's a feeling you're all too familiar with. it's habits and traits you know far too well. you didn't want to believe it at first but now you're forced to. you even went as far as showing him a picture to which he nudged at and purred–like he is trying to tell you something.
you watch as he slowly sits up and stretches from your lap. your eyes widen at a distance mark on his fur in the same place as someone who was once close to you. lee looks at you and gives you slow blinks and purrs loudly as your eyes slowly full with tears.
“you're just like him, yknow.” you whisper. lee continues to give you soft blinks before gently placing his white paw on your cheek, his toes beans feeling soft yet firm against your skin. his fur soaking up your tears before he leans in and gently licks your cheek. his scratchy tongue swiping along your cheek as he gives you kisses to which you giggle at and hold him close to your chest.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
“i'm not crazy.” you protest to your friend over the phone. “i swear, they're just like him!” 
“yn.. i know you miss him but that's impossible.”
“is it? i mean, don't you believe in the whole afterlife thing? y'know, being reborn and whatnot.”
“not particularly, no. it's just bizarre how you think that. are you ok, yn? like, really really ok?” you sigh deeply, rubbing your face with your hand.
“peachy. look, i know i sound crazy but it's true. it's just everything lee does is so alike to him. since adopting him, i feel more alive! like i have a purpose.”
“and that's great yn! but to say he is exactly like him is a little bizarre don't you think?” 
“well, yeah but– ah, never mind. look, i have to go. talk to you soon.” you hang up with a defeated sigh. of course they wouldn't believe you. you wouldn't if someone told you what you told your friend. they would have to see it to believe it; but even then, would they?
you drag your feet to your bedroom, smiling as you see lee curled up on his side of the bed. you flop down on your stomach, disturbing lee from his nap. his head shoots up, a tired and disapproved meow causing you to laugh softly.
“sorry darling. i didn't mean to wake you.” lee puts his head back down before letting out a big yawn. his ears twitching and soft purrs emitting as you gently pat his soft and silky fur.
“maybe i am a little crazy.” you say with a soft chuckle. “could you not give me a sign or something? i'll take anything at this point.” 
lee looks at you before getting up off the bed and walking out. you watch with a sad smile feeling defeated and your heart weighing you down.
moments later, lee walks back into the bedroom. he jumps up on the bed and drops a piece of clothing by your face. it's a sock but not just any sock–it's his favourite sock.
you sit up, holding the sock close to your chest as tears stream down your cheeks. you let out broken sobs as lee stands on his hind legs, front paws on your arms as he reaches up. you laugh softly, leaning down to allow him to lick your cheek slowly and gently to soothe you.
you scoop him up and nuzzle into his soft furr, getting it wet with your tears. lee endures it, purring softly and rubbing his face against your cheek.
“it's really you.” you whisper. “welcome back, my love.” 
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note: idek. i saw a tiktok ok and it prompted me to do this. i have no words, sdjn;aslfb! don’t forget to leave feedback, reblog and tell me what you think here. curious as to what is next? here is my wips list! i hope you all enjoy! ‹3
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tags (open): @sstarryoong ; @fairylouist ; @septicrebel ; @alyszaen ; @writerracha ; @hyunluvxo ; @aestheticsluut ; @xcookiemonsteer ; @telesvng
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joelsmochi · 9 months
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Good Surprise
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Read part one here. SUMMARY: Joel finally gets to have you. WARNINGS: smut minors dni, a little slow at some points but it leads up to a very very very pervy!joel, needy!sub!joel, dom!reader (??? she's a little mean hehe), awkwardness, brief cig smoking (don't judge girly is stressed). 18+ WARNINGS: panty kink, cum eating, masturbation (m), oral (m receiving), good boy bomb (just once), dirty talk, overstimulation, multiple orgasms (m + f), public...stuff WC: 7.6k
A/N: Here is part two of Us Against The World. There is at least one more part coming soon, so stay tuned! Thank you for reading, I love you all sm. Enjoy :)
If one more fucking customer complains about the wait time—
“Excuse me, ma’am, how much longer do we have to wait to be seated?” A rude man you’ve already dealt with asked even though you were in the middle of taking someone’s order.
Your eyes were wide out of sheer annoyance when you turned to look at him and asked, “How long was the wait when you got here?”
“Fifteen minutes,” he replied.
“Okay, and how long ago was that?”
“Five minutes ago.”
“Fifteen minus five is..." You pretended to think about it to be satirical. "Oh! Ten! Your wait time is ten minutes.”
You heard one of your managers shout your name, and you turned to look at him.
“Hey, maybe you should go take ten, alright?” He suggested. “You need a cigarette?”
He held his pack of Newport’s in his hand. You rolled your eyes, snatched the pack from him, and walked away without saying another word. “Only ten!”
“Yeah, yeah.”
You stepped out of the rear door and stood next to the side of the building, watching the ongoing traffic as you lit and puffed on the disgusting cigarette.
“Your daddy know you smoking?” You heard from across the parking lot. Your eyes adjusted and saw Joel standing there with Tommy, who seemingly got off of work not too long ago.
“Hey, pretty girl!” Tommy shouted before walking over to you. You held the cigarette away from him and gave him half a hug while he placed a kiss on your head. “Why you smokin’, huh?”
“Oh my God, it’s one fucking cigarette,” you exclaimed.
“Rough day?” Joel asked.
You rolled your eyes, looking away from the two men. “Yeah, shit. Sorry. I’ll seat you guys when I get back in there. You can go ahead of this dickhead in there interrupting me every five minutes.”
“We were just gonna get it to go—“
Joel interrupted Tommy, “He givin’ you a hard time?”
“I’m probably just over-exaggerating. I’m just hungry. And tired. You guys go in and get your food. I don’t want to keep ya.”
Joel hated seeing you like this: your eyes puffy and purple from stress, smoking a goddamned cigarette. Your focus both everywhere and nowhere.
He thought maybe it was his fault for not seeing you these past few weeks. It wasn’t because he was afraid. Work was just busy, and he wanted to spend as much time with Sarah before she spent the rest of the summer at her friends’ houses.
“No, we’ll stay,” Tommy offered, feeling almost as bad as Joel. “Haven’t seen ya in forever anyways. We’ll catch up when the rush is over.”
You offered Tommy a weak smile while Joel was grinning from ear to ear in his head. He was happy to at least see you. Joel took the cigarette from your hand and tossed it in a puddle. You turned your annoyed self around and walked inside through the back door.
“Hey, uh, Tommy, why don’t you go ‘head and order for us. I gotta take a leak,” Joel said.
Tommy agreed, walking off, and the second that he was out of view Joel pushed you back into the men’s restroom, manipulating your body until your back was against the door. You couldn't even catch your breath with how fast everything was happening.
He loosely wrapped his hand around your throat, then licked a firm strip along the curve of your neck to your earlobe before giving it a mean bite. You gasped as your nipples hardened.
“I’m sorry I haven't seen you, baby,” he whispered in your ear, moving his hand to your skirt. Flashbacks of the kitchen playing in your head.
“That’s okay, I know you’ve been busy,” you whispered as he lifted the fabric up. Your lips crashed against his ferociously. You moaned when the bitter taste of coffee fell from his tongue onto yours after you slipped it into his mouth.
“I think about you all the time, you know?” You nodded at his question and kissed him again, this time much more sloppy.
“I have to get back to work, J—“ You stopped speaking when he lifted your leg and began to grind his hard cock against your needy cunt. You inhaled too hard, having to suppress your moans. “Joel, I have to go back,” you breathed out.
“Just one more minute, baby, please,” he whimpered, grinding into you roughly, “just one more—“
This was more relief than he had gotten any time he fucked his fist at the thought of you. Being close to you, making you feel how hard his cock got for you — finally rewarding himself with you even if it was only like this.
He didn’t envision dry humping you in the bathroom where you work, but he waited weeks to have you against him and felt like he deserved a little gratuity for his patience.
His arms looped around your back, head laying on your chest. You snaked a hand through his hair and held him close, wanting to feel him writhe and tremble beneath you.
When he said one minute, he meant it. Your pelvis was already growing sore from how hard and fast he was grinding you, but it was worth it.
He moaned a little too loud and moved his mouth over your neck to quiet himself as his thrusts became less frequent and longer. His breathing was heavy and hard, back rising and falling from trying to hold himself up as his orgasm toppled his entire being.
You felt him push your panties down your leg and tried to stop him. You thought he was trying to have sex. “Joel, come on, we don’t have time—“
“This ain’t f’you,” he chuckled tiredly. He successfully got them off of you and fixed your skirt before he held your panties up by your face. “This is f’me.” He folded your soaked underwear and shoved them in his pocket, then smacked a kiss on your lips before walking into a stall.
You realized neither of you checked them before your quick hookup. You prayed that nobody else was in the bathroom. Your trembling legs miraculously carried you out to the dining room. You continued to work like nothing even happened.
“Back on time for once?” You boss teased.
“Only because your cigarettes are shit.”
“Thanks for the ride, Tommy,” you said from the backseat of the truck.
“Yeah, kid, anytime. Thanks for covering our dinner,” he replied.
You grimaced when you remembered you deleted their order from the system. “Yeahhh, do me a favor and don’t mention that to Mikey.”
The men chuckled, and Tommy promised he wouldn’t say anything.
“Night, Tom,” you said before climbing out of the truck with Joel following.
“Night!”
Tommy practically sped off, leaving you and Joel to stand at the end of your driveway. You looked up at Joel with a smile, untying your apron and bunching it up in your hand.
“You really are a perv,” you joked. Joel just pursed his lips, checking you out. “What ya gonna do with my panties anyways, huh?”
“I’m gonna use them,” he spoke.
You cocked up an eyebrow and laughed when the image of him using the garment to stroke himself popped into your head. “You have fun with that,” you said after walking past him.
“Oh, I will.”
He waited until you got inside safely before he entered his own home; he grabbed a bottle of water and checked in on Sarah, seeing that she was already asleep with her notebook open and a pen in her hand. He closed her notebook and took the pen, setting them on her nightstand. She shuffled a bit after Joel put the blanket over her but settled after getting comfortable.
Joel closed her door and then went into the bathroom, turning the shower on; he undressed and reached for the pocket in his jeans that held your panties. They were blue with a pink rose sewn into the center of the hem. He stared at them, wondering what the fuck possessed him to do something like that.
He couldn’t resist bringing them to his face, as dirty as it felt. He saw that they were laden with your discharge. He took in the scent of you while palming his limpness. He could smell many things: your tangy juices, your vanilla perfume. He even smelled a little bit of your sweat, and it fucking incapacitated him.
His eyes rolled to the back of his head while he tried to suppress the moan that left his hoarse throat. His dick quickly hardened after he gave your panties a few more sniffs, and it made him crave the taste of you in his mouth again.
He brought the panties down to his cock and lazily wrapped them around it; he leaned over the sink, trying to hold himself up as he imagined your pretty lips wrapped around his length.
He thought about different ways you’d suck him — would you smile? Would you use your hands or just your mouth? Would you gag and choke around him so much that it brought tears to your eyes?
Every scenario he imagined only made him stroke himself harder and faster. He was gripping the corner of the sink so hard his hand was beginning to cramp up.
His cock twitched, straining against the fabric of your panties, and he felt that familiar stretch in the pit of his stomach to indicate he was close. He can’t think of a time when he finished so fast just from fucking his fist and doing it without a magazine or a movie to help? He was drunk off of you and never wanted to recover.
What is this girl doing to me?
His mind switched over to chaste thoughts of you, and that stretch inside him only tugged deeper. You were such a sweet person: always wanting to help people out and trying to get people to smile. Your smile would light up the entire room, and your confidence was intimidating in the best way possible.
Even during the moment, you had been asking for help with your ‘boyfriend’ while trailing your foot up Joel's leg, you still managed to sound so sweet. Your eyes would tend to ask him if something was okay. The thing was that when he was with you, everything was.
This was no longer just you two sneaking around like a pair of high schoolers. This had become a kink for him. The feeling of shame he often felt only turned him on even more.
He bit his lip a little too hard when his cock began to throb, immersing him in strain and ecstasy. It was almost painful. His hips jerked as he fucked his fist, pumping the last of his cum into your panties.
Joel’s head hung low while he caught his breath so he could muster up the strength to step into the steamy shower after he tossed your panties on the floor next to his jeans.
Thoughts of you floated around in his head as he stood beneath the water; he looked out of the small awning in the shower, and his eyes immediately locked with yours.
The devious smirk on your face told him you knew just what he just did, and he was too embarrassed to smile back before you left his view.
It was Independence Day, and while you didn’t exactly care to celebrate it, it was a good enough excuse for you and your dad to have some family and friends over.
You were in the middle of forming burger patties when you saw Tommy, Sarah, and another girl her age enter the kitchen from the back door.
“Hi!” You chirped, letting Tommy hug you and kiss your temple. “How are you guys?” Sarah hugged your side as well, with you returning the gesture.
“Good,” they said in unison.
“Where’s your dad at? I need to see what kinda beer he wants,” Tommy said while stealing a bottle of water from the fridge.
“What about what kind of beer I want?” You lightheartedly complained.
“What kinda beer you want?” Tommy said after a reluctant roll of his eyes.
“I don’t care, but ooh! Can you get me some wine coolers?”
Tommy pretended to be annoyed and walked upstairs after sassily saying, “Fiiine.”
“Who’s your friend?” You asked Sarah.
“This is Crystal. She’s my camp buddy,” Sarah introduced. You said hi and introduced yourself before Sarah asked, “Hey, do you still have that Cameron Diaz movie?”
You side-eyed her and tried not to smile. “The one that’s rated R?” Sarah gave you a hopeful smile, one that you couldn’t refuse. “It’s in my room, you can watch it in there. And hey! Keep the volume down, please.”
“Thank you!” She shouted before she and her friend ran upstairs, giggling adorably.
“What’re they giggling about?” Joel’s voice boomed as he walked into the room.
“Nothin’, just girl stuff.”
You were wearing a maroon-colored tube top and a black maxi skirt with wedge sandals. His eyes glossed over every curve and line of your body with how beautifully the clothes hugged your body.
You finished preparing the patties and turned around to wash your hands. Meanwhile, Joel’s hands snaked over your hips to cradle the base of your belly. Sheepishly giggling, you swayed your body in his arms and said, “Joel, someone could come down and see us.”
“That’s what makes it so fun,” he whispered, his voice vibrating against your ear, sending chills throughout your spine. “You look so beautiful today.”
You hummed with a goofy smile on your face. “Thank you, you don’t look too bad yourself.” You turned around in his grasp and held his face as if he were fragile. He was clad in a brown shirt that complimented his pretty brown orbs and his typical Levi jeans that hung perfectly around his hips. “I’ve missed my favorite pair of panties.”
“Those blue ones with the rose on ‘em?”
“Uh-huh, you know the ones you came in last week?”
He pretended to think about it for a few seconds. “Ohh, yeah. Yeah, right. I actually brought them here with me today.” He pulled said panties out of his pocket and held them out of reach when you tried to snatch them. “Gi’me a kiss,” he bargained, and you happily obliged.
Your lips landed on his with a tenderness warm enough to melt him inside. His lips swirled around with yours in an entanglement so delicious it made your cunt leak all of Joel’s favorite flavors.
He slipped his tongue out and slid it across your lips, asking for permission to taste you; you parted your mouth slightly enough for him to lick across your teeth. You giggled and slid your tongue out to mesh with his while both of you tried to keep quiet.
You felt how thick and dominating his tongue was, telepathically begging him to lick your pussy. His kisses were so docile for how your body was responding to them.
Tommy and your father could be heard coming down the stairs when you were about to deepen the kiss. Joel tucked your underwear back into his pocket as you gasped for air and he immediately retreated to the other side of the island while faking a conversation.
“So, d’you get to meet any fashion designers when you were in school?” He asked just when they walked in.
“No,” you pouted as you thought about it, “but we did get to go to Ready to Wear. We saw lots of big brands being modeled.”
Just then, your dad chimed in. “My baby girl’s gonna be the best fashion designer the world will ever know.”
You blushed when he pinched your cheekbones and thanked him. “Your burgers are done. I finished the potato salad and the lemonade. All I have to do is finish the pudding and go to the store for the peach cobbler and ice cream, and I would love to take your truck to go and do that.” You held your hand out with a persuasive smile, waiting for him to drop the keys in your hand.
You saw your dad purse his lips and glance back and forth between the two brothers. He hated being put on the spot so naturally you made it a habit to do that.
“Last time you took my truck anywhere, you came home with a court hearing and a forty-dollar ticket,” he grunted. You didn’t budge other than to further emphasize your smile; his sigh was full of resentment, but he ultimately pulled his keys out and placed them in your hand. “No speeding.”
“Mm-hmm.”
“No smoking.”
“Course not.”
“No drinking until you get home.”
“I’m not a fucking idiot.”
“No picking up friends.”
“Of course.”
“No picking up drugs.”
“Dad.”
“And Joel’s going with you.”
“Oh, great. A babysitter."
“Anything goes wrong, you call me.”
“Got it, Rambo. Can I have thirty bucks?”
He reached into his wallet and asked, “What do you need thirty bucks for?”
You happily took the money from him and said, “I just wanted to see if you’d give it to me.” He rolled his eyes and waved you off as he walked away. Tommy followed him.
“Okay, babysitter Miller, let’s go. And Tommy, don’t forget my Seagrams!”
The drive to the store was probably the most normal interaction you had with Joel since your arrival a month ago. Your experience attending fashion school sparked his curiosity, and you were eager to discuss it with him. As you were growing up, he rarely got to see you excited about anything, so he enjoyed seeing you passionate about something.
But as soon as you parked the car and looked at Joel, the normalcy melted away from the heat of the sun. He trimmed his patchy facial hair and got a haircut that (to him) was long overdue.
“You clean up nice,” you spoke barely above a whisper. He nodded as thank you, not moving any muscles on his leathering face. You got a whiff of his aftershave — or maybe it was cologne — not quite sure what the scent was, but it smelled rich and musky. “Smell good too.”
That got his smile to crack.
“I know I said it already, but you look very pretty today,” he replied. He began to stroke your chin while using his thumb to trace the outline of your jaw.
“Thank you.” You kissed the curve of his hand, making the hairs on his arm stand up. You felt a rush of embarrassment though you weren't too sure why. You closed your eyes and kissed his hand again. “Fuck, Joel. What are you doin’ t’me?”
He frowned. “What, baby?”
You shrugged, unsure of what to say or what you even felt.
“Do we need to stop—“
“No. No.” You looked to him again, hoping to find an answer or, at the very least, an explanation. “I think I’m just overwhelmed.”
He pulled his hand away, anticipating your next move. It never came. You just sat there boring your eyes into his, then the mood shifted; his smile was contagious, filling your lungs with lost air and pushing the anxiety away.
You leaned over the center console to kiss him; his hand cupped the base of your neck beneath your hair, swirling his thumb around the nap of your neck.
The kisses you shared were savory and slow, an occasional mewl leaving your throat. You placed a hand on his chest, feeling his muscles and heart beating rapidly. Your panties were coated in a chilling layer of slick from his tongue slipping against yours, and he pulled away before it got too out of hand.
“Come on, ‘fore your old man sends the army after me.”
“He was in the Navy,” you corrected.
Joel managed to be on his best behavior in the store with you. For a moment, it actually felt like he was in a relationship with you. It didn’t help when an older lady stopped you two to say you were a lovely couple. While Joel was taken aback by the compliment, you just said thank you and continued shopping like it was nothing.
You figured you two looked like a couple with the close proximity and lingering gazes, so it didn’t surprise you as it did him.
He enjoyed seeing you pick up makeup that interested you and look in the little mirrors to see if you liked it against your skin tone. He let you guide him through the store. He didn’t mind. Not when he got more time alone with you.
“You’ve changed a lot. You know that?” He said abruptly when you were looking at the ice cream. You asked how he arrived at that conclusion as you gave him a look of disbelief. “You seem to be a lot more yourself. More sure of who you are.”
You gave him a sad smile as you came to that realization. “You really think so?”
“I do."
You looked back at the ice cream and grabbed a french vanilla carton, telling him, “You changed quite a bit yourself too… You were a very disorganized person from what I can remember. You just seem to have a clearer head now than you were before.”
“I guess I just didn’t know how to deal with being a single father.”
“Well, I think you’re doing a good job raising Sarah. She… She seems sure of herself too. Like me I guess.”
“Don’t know where she got it from.”
“Well, it wasn’t your grumpy ass. That’s for sure.”
The rest of the day went without a hitch. More people from around the neighborhood showed up, and for most of the day, you were mingling with Sarah and Crystal, who raved about some lewd scene from the movie you’d let them watch.
While everyone was watching the fireworks, you started picking up in the kitchen, knowing your dad was too drunk off his ass to do it. You loaded the dishwasher and began putting leftovers away when the girls came inside.
“My dad is letting me stay at Crystal’s tonight for the weekend,” Sarah said, her tone giving away the sense that she wanted another favor.
“Yeees?” You taunted.
“Well. I was wondering if we could borrow a couple movies and maybe some makeup?”
You looked at Sarah, seeing that glint of eagerness that you remember having at her age. Curious about the world and boys and girls and relationships. You couldn’t say no.
“Which movies?”
“Thirteen and What a Girl Wants?”
“No and yes,” you answered.
Sarah was clearly not happy you said no to Thirteen. “What?! Why? But I’m fourteen.”
“You can watch Thirteen when you turn thirty,” you mothered.
“Ugh, okay fine. How about Hot Chicks? Crystal’s never seen it.”
You debated it in your head but figured it was better than what you let them watch earlier. “Okay, deal. And only take makeup from the top of the vanity!” You shouted after they were already making their way upstairs. Your dad appeared not long after. He hugged you after wobbling a little bit, and a wet kiss was placed on your forehead. “Ew, Dad!”
“Some of us are going to a bar downtown for a couple hours.”
“You’re not driving are you?”
“No, no. It’s just a mile up the road. I’ll get a taxi on the way back. I promise you.”
“Okay. Well, call me if you need a ride or get arrested.”
A few others came inside, and you saw how your Dad looked at one of the women; physically, she was the antithesis of your mom. He gave her a smile once she noticed him staring.
“Go talk to her, dumbass,” you whispered, giving him a nudge with your elbow.
“Oh, we’ll be doin' more than ta—“
“Don’t!” You interrupted. “Do not finish that sentence.”
He chuckled and hugged you goodnight. “Joel said he’ll help clean up.”
“Oh, he doesn’t have to do that,” you responded.
“I think he has a crush on you.”
You froze at his words slowly turning your head to him. “Uh…”
You could see it in his eyes that he didn’t really know why he said that. He was definitely drunk. “Anyways. Love you, kid. I gotta get me some tail.”
You grimaced and pushed him away. “Real classy, Dad. Really fucking classy.” You shook your head as he followed his friends laughing.
Joel had dropped the girls off at Crystal’s house before he made his way back to you. The second he left, you ran upstairs to clean yourself quickly, hoping that tonight would be the night you finally get to have him.
Joel’s footsteps were heard from the entryway trailing into the living room where you were watching TV. Your head turned, a smile already curling around your lips.
“Hi, Joel,” you said before clicking the television off. He could just hear it in your tone how horny you were. He stared at you like a deer in headlights, making you laugh, so you walked over to him, bare feet padding against the wood. You took his hand in yours and guided him upstairs. “Sit on the bed,” you told him.
He was a nervous fucking wreck and you acting so calm about the situation only made him more nervous.
You shut the door even though no one was home and turned off your big light, the only glow coming from some string lights and an old ambient light in the corner. As corny as it felt “setting the tone” you wanted to make this moment special because every other time was rushed and sloppy (not that you minded).
You stood in front of him, feeling exposed despite being fully dressed. You rubbed your clammy hands over your thighs.
“Is this okay?” You asked.
“Yeah,” Joel said a little loudly. He cleared his throat and tried to calm down. “Yeah.”
“We don’t—we don’t have to.”
“No, no, I want to. If—if you want to. Shit, uh…” He chuckled, bashful at his poor attempt at easing the tension.
“Okay,” you tittered.
You reached for the rim of your shirt, lifting it slowly to expose your stomach. He watched your fingers slither over your skin, and you asked again, “Is this okay?”
How did I get so lucky?
He nodded.
You moved your shirt up more, exposing the underside of your breasts and part of your areola. “This okay?”
This is the first time, he realized, that I’ll see her tits.
He nodded again. You peeled the shirt from your body and let it drop to the floor.
Fuck. They’re perfect.
Your nipples were already stiff with anticipation, goosebumps scattered over your flesh. “How about…” Your thumbs broke the waistband of your skirt. “This?” You pushed the fabric down just enough to reveal that you weren’t wearing any panties.
She’s doing all this for me. To make me feel special.
The lump in his throat ran dry, and you didn’t bother waiting for another response. You let your skirt cascade down your legs to hit the floor. You teetered over to stand between his legs and pressed his face into your belly.
He pressed a kiss into your flesh and ran his hands over your thighs before firming a squeeze on your ass. His nails left indents while he sunk his teeth into your skin, wanting his body to mesh in yours.
Your knees slowly drifted to the floor; he let you fiddle with the opening of his jeans so that he could focus on tasting your sweet lips, getting lost in the feeling of being here with you.
You sucked his bottom lip roughly and palmed his growing erection over his boxers. He hovered over the bed for a moment to push his pants down enough to let his cock spring free.
Your eyes widened at his girth while his cockhead tapped his lower stomach. Your mouth watered as you watched it twitch a couple times.
He leaned back on his elbows and took in the sight of your intimidation from the size of his dick, smiling arrogantly when you licked your lip with the purpose to ready your mouth. You hummed after gaining a bit of confidence to praise how big he was.
“All for you,” he said.
You slowly blinked, then wrapped your hand around his velvety shaft. His cock was littered with veins. You licked your lips and drooled your salivation over his warm tip, letting it glide down a bit. You kept your eyes locked with his as you wrapped your swollen lips around him.
His cock felt hot and it pulsed with need once it came in contact with your perfect mouth. He fought the urge to moan, letting out his cries in a symphony of whimpers instead.
Your eyes rolled back at the sound of his wordless little pleads. You circled your tongue around his head relentlessly before surprising him by forcing his cock to hit the back of your throat.
His entire body flinched and he shouted out a few curse words. You gagged and pulled back; you allowed your spit to drip down his skin. You slurped around his tip and moaned when he flinched again. Then, you took more of him in your mouth, bobbing your head up and down. You fell in love with how he tasted in your mouth as his salty precum oozed over your tongue. The gagging and slurping noises echoed in the room and he couldn’t keep his moans to himself anymore.
“Oh, f-fuck,” he whimpered, thrusting into your mouth gently. “Fuck. That—that feels so fucking good, baby. Yes baby, yes baby, yes.”
You moaned around the shaft, eliciting more obscenities from him. Your mouth was so full even though you hadn’t taken all of him. Your cheeks hollowed around him, creating a tighter vessel for him to fuck while you stroked whatever you couldn’t fit.
His face contorted with the anguish of not wanting to finish yet, but he couldn’t stop now, could he?
Maybe if I just get a little closer—just a little.
So lost in the pleasure, he felt the start of his climax rise causing him to gently pull you off of him.
A single streak of his cum shot onto your cheek. You flinched but laughed endearingly, helping his ego feel better about it.
“Fuck. Sorry.” His chest heaved with his mouth dry from his heavy breathing as you assured him it was okay.
He took a moment to gather himself before sitting up and wiping his cum from your face. You grabbed his wrist before he got the chance to wipe it clean; you impulsively sucked the milky release before swallowing it shamelessly.
Joel’s eyes were glossy and low. He could watch you lick up his cum for hours if you wanted to. You looked so sweet on the outside but inside you were dark, full of a lust that was forever unfulfilled by previous boyfriends.
Sometimes you wondered if you even knew what you want sexually, yet Joel was able to just read you and provide.
“You’re such a good girl for me," he asked with a devious smile, "aren't you?"
“Anything for you, Joel.”
Chuckling, he picked you up effortlessly and sat you on his stomach while he laid on his back.
“Use me,” he begged.
You blushed. “What do you mean?”
“You said your last boyfriend didn’t do the things you needed him to,” he explained, “so use me. Fuck me however you want. And I’ll fuck you however you need me to. Be as rough as you want. As mean as you want. Ride me, ride my face—I don—I don’t care. I just need you. Need you s’fucking bad.”
You saw in his eyes desperation, and it made your head spin. A man so brute and strong like Joel begging to be your fuck toy was a sight for your sore eyes.
You adjusted your body and carefully lined his cock up with your sopping entrance; he felt rewarded when your puffy walls clung to him. The stretching of your pussy burned deliciously inside of you.
You sat there for a moment. Not to get adjusted to his fat cock, but to just feel him. Feel him twitch and jerk, aching to pump you full of his seed.
You circled your hips slowly feeling his head bump against your g-spot. Your fingers pressed into his chest and you started to ride the slight curve of his shaft.
“Oh, my God. Joel,” you cried out, feeling how his cock stuffed you perfectly each time you rode down.
“That feel good, baby?”
As your eyelashes fluttered shut, you were pathetically nodding and reaching up to play with one of your breasts. “Yes,” you moaned.
With thick hands wrapped loosely around your waist and eyes fixated on you, Joel was under your spell. He loved being used by you. Submitting.
You appreciated the control he gave you over his body. He was of free use just for you, and you grew tired of being afraid of that. You fucked him however you wanted, just like he had asked, finding the inconsistencies of your movements titillating.
His long fingers drew random patterns around your back, adding intimacy to the connection. He looked so breathtaking beneath your tantalized body. His eyebrows furrowed into a pout that made your heart melt for him, and his pursed lips cooed out little praises.
"Yes," he whimpered, softly thrusting into you as you went down to create the perfect rhythm. "Yes, yes, yes," he continued. "Darlin', you're doing so good for me, yes."
"You feel so good," you moaned. "Your cock is so fucking big."
"You take it so well, baby girl. Ahh—fu… You're doin' so good f'me."
You leaned down to kiss his wet lips, moans pouring from you. "S'it feel good?"
"Yes, baby. Fuck yes, you feel so fucking good. Don't s-stop."
You gasped and twisted your nipple between your fingertips, feeling an ungodly amount of your precum seep between your bodies. A bundle of pleasure twinged in the pit of your stomach, making your hips stutter and mess up the rhythm.
“I’m gonna cum, Joel—oh, fuuck. I’m gonna cum,” you said in a hushed voice.
You felt his hands smooth over your ass, and he began thrusting into you a bit more forcefully, encouraging you to finish.
A calamity overtook you; your climax was full of distress and violence. You had never screamed so loud before. Your orgasm worked against you, releasing itself into the darkest corners of your body.
You felt it everywhere. Your toes curled. Your elbows locked. Your fingers went numb. Your neck warmed. Every inch of your body felt haunted by the orgasm you felt yourself fighting. Joel fucking lived for it.
You were a fucking mess above him and he couldn’t stop himself from overstimulating you. He held you still in his strong arms and pounded into you ruthlessly, with no care in the world for how loud you were.
You loved how it overpowered you, intensifying as Joel determined to make it last longer. It felt like an eternity. Your chest shook from your blubbers, your body full of amnesia of reality.
He intently watched you, waiting for it to become too much. Your eyes welled up with tears and your face hurt from how contorted it had become. It wasn’t until you took a big breath in that he slowed down causing you to collapse atop his chest.
Joel held you close, grazing his fingers over your back and arms to soothe you as you came down from your high. All he wanted to do was to feel good with you and make sure you were satisfied.
You lifted your flushed face from the crook of his neck to give him a passionate kiss; he hummed against your warm lips, bringing a hand up to hold your face so he could deepen the connection.
He slowly rolled your body over until he was on top of you. Your hands slid along his broad shoulders whilst he erratically pushed his pants down, kicking them to the floor afterward. You pulled at the hem of his shirt and helped him remove it.
He slipped back inside of you as he stayed on his knees, getting the perfect view of your alluring frame. Your makeup had begun to fade away, and mascara scattered around your eyes. Your hair was messily laid around your head and your eyes were heavy with fatigue.
“Your so beautiful,” he said before reaching to pinch your cheeks in his big hand to slightly embarrass you, “you’re such a fucking mess already.”
You grabbed his hand, snatching it from your cheeks and pushing it away; you sat up enough to grab a hold of his neck, bringing his face closer to yours as a dangerous looked filled your eyes. You dug your legs into his thighs to push his length deeper inside of you, it caught him by surprise.
“Thought you said I was in control, huh,” you whispered. Joel instantly pouted, the pathetic look on his face fueled your desire to domesticate him.
“Y-you—yes, yes,” he weakly responded. “Yes. You a—you are in control.”
You gave him a soft kiss despite your tough demeanor to help calm him. “Good boy,” you praised, tightening your grip. He thanked you and started to move his halted hips again, this time with purpose and force.
Your hardened expression cracked, faltering into a look of bliss and thankfulness. His skin clapped against yours as you felt his balls swinging against your ass with every thrust.
The moans spilling between your lips was music to Joel’s ears; he felt the swollen head of his cock breech even deeper inside of you after you hung your legs around his hips. Your walls fluttered around his pulsating cock making your cunt feel tighter.
Combining that with your tight grip around his neck? Fuck. He wanted to cum so badly—
“Shit!” He shouted as he pulled out, not wanting this to end so soon.
You laughed at him more teasingly this time and let his neck go, using your legs to push him back inside with no effort.
He tried thrusting more slowly this time, but his body was just begging for release. He pulled out again and attempted to take a breather. You weren’t having it.
You pushed him into saint position and held his face firmly to make him look you in the eyes as you started to bounce on him.
“Baby,” he said, feeling the rise of his climax slowly build again, “I don’t wanna stop yet.”
“Your cock belongs to me,” you told him; he promptly agreed. “That means I do whatever I fucking want to. You’re gonna cum for me and let me keep fucking you.”
His eyes rolled back and his let out a moan of both desperation and relief. “Yes,” he whimpered, eagerly nodding his dazed head, “yes. My cock belongs to you. Only you—fuck—no one’s ever made me feel as good as you.”
You moaned in response, knowing you no longer needed to scold him.
He was so fucking thick. Not even all of your slick could help get used to his size. Your skin clung to his from the faint sweat coating both of your bodies. Your tits bounced against his toned chest stimulating your nipples, adding to the earth-shattering pleasure.
His breathing was shallow while he tried to hold off as long as possible. He then figured if he rubbed your clit you might be able to finish again with him.
You jolted when his thumb rubbed erratic loops around your clit, soon enough feeling your climax build again. And though it was not as powerful it hit you so much more quickly.
“Can you cum for me?” You asked nicely. “Fuck, I’m gonna cu—“ Your own gasps cut you off as you heard Joel say he was going to finish with you.
His forehead fell onto yours as the pressure finally exploded inside of you. Your body insisted on continuing to fuck him, your cunt pushing and pulling at his shaft as if you were trying to squeeze his cum out yourself. He painted your walls with his hot white load, filling you up even more as if you weren't full enough.
He held you tight and leaned his head onto your shoulders so that your shivering legs wouldn’t completely give out.
All of a sudden Joel grew an urge to eat you out before his cum spilled out.
He tossed you onto your back and got down on his stomach, barely letting you breathe before his tongue covered your throbbing hole.
You cried out his name shamelessly, feeling his tongue curl up inside of you. He watched you arch your back and grab at the sheets with your head thrown back and mouth opened.
At first, he only tasted your tangy cum as it lay thick and heavy on his tongue. But after a short while, he tasted was he could only presume to be himself. The taste was mostly brine, but a little sweet, and permeated along his tastebuds. He couldn’t get enough of how good the two of you tasted together.
He devoured every last drop he could manage before pulling away from you, feeling how hard his he still was. He wanted to make up for finishing so soon.
You wanted to come down—you were so fucking wore out. But you felt Joel twist you around onto your stomach and lift your hips up before shoving his cock back inside of you.
You groaned at the stretch feeling stronger than before, clawing at the bedsheets as he wasted no time to fuck you again. His hips clapped against your ass when his hands pushed into your waist, deepening your arch.
He would slowly pull back to where his beaming cockhead was only inside of you, then he'd thrust strong enough to make your body bounce a little on the springy mattress. He fucked you slow but hard, wanting you to feel every inch of him.
“Fuck! Yes, Joel!” You shouted.
“Like that, baby? Hmm?” He spanked you when you didn’t answer.
“Fuck, yes, you’re so good to me!”
Your moans turned into whines from the brute force of his body. Tears danced along your eyes as your pussy ached with overstimulation and rapture.
“My cock belongs to you? Hmm?” He said indignantly. He was already yours. He belonged to you. He just wanted to hear you say it again.
You moaned lustfully when he started going fast enough to make his balls hit your clit. He reached to grab your neck and beckoned you to get on your hands as well, keeping the grip loose enough for you to breathe.
“Yes, Joel, your fucking cock belongs to me," your voice was lame as you tried to regulate your breathing. Your sore pussy yearned again, asking for relief just once more. “Give it to me, please, give it to me.”
He looked at his dick thrust in and out of you, groaning at the smooth ring of your cum wrapped around the base of his shaft.
“You wanna cum again?” He asked. You begged and pleaded and cried for him to keep going.
He didn’t even try to comprehend when another orgasm was building for him. He ignored the anguish the second climax was bringing him, even if it was becoming too painful to bear. He didn’t care enough. He just wanted to keep listening to those pretty sounds you were making.
He never had an experience come close to this one. To being with you. Never imagined doing something as dirty as tasting his own cum, let alone after releasing it inside of his partner. And then to cum twice in the span of a few minutes? He knew then and there that no one would be able to satisfy him like you.
“I’m cumming, I’m cumming!” You moaned in a high pitch that Joel thought was cute; your back arched and tensed, your whole body shaking with a third orgasm that felt instinctual. Your eyes filled with stars and you were lightheaded.
He let himself feel every aspect of his orgasm once the pain left his body. It was warm and made him a little hazy; he was so overwhelmed with euphoria that he could hardly react to it. He was persistent in finishing you both off with sloppy thrusts as he whispered sweet praises to you about how good you felt.
Your body collapsed making Joel’s dick slip out of you; he rested next to you once you laid on your side and put his arm around your head. You lay there in a bittersweet silence for a few minutes, savoring the sound of each other’s breathing and sleepy hums.
“I’m so tired now,” you lazily said.
Joel chuckled and pulled the blanket up to cover you. “Go to sleep, baby.”
“I don’t wanna,” you said tiredly; he chuckled again and kissed your head, wishing that this wasn’t casual. “Was it good for you?” You asked after looking up at him, the craving for sleep evident in your pretty eyes.
He couldn’t put into words how at peace he felt right now. He was tired too. “Yes, sweetheart.”
“I wasn’t too mean, was I?” You worried.
“No, baby,” he cooed, stroking your head. “You were perfect.” The way he said it ensured you it was the truth.
“I was perfect?” You giggled.
“Mm-hmm,” he hummed. “We should go out some night. Have a little fun."
"Joel Miller, r'you asking me on a date?"
"It ain't gotta be," he answered.
You giggled again and curled into his body some more. "Sure, Joel. Take me out to a bar so I can dance on sleazy men in cowboy hats to make you jealous."
He laughed, "You love makin' stories up, don't you?"
"It won't be a story for long."
-
Read part 3 here.
🏷️ @paleidiot @sarap-77 @mmeerraa @ssweetart42
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adventuringblind · 7 months
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I See Your Smile
(Part two of I see your beauty)
Charles Leclerc x blind!Verstappen!reader
Genre: hurt/comfort, FLUFF
Request: no but they are open!!
Summary: after the events with Jos, Charles makes it a point to make sure he helps you see everything Jos didn’t let you
Warnings: mentions of verbal and physical abuse, car accidents, drinking and driving, zero proofreading
Notes: written in third person
Masterlist
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It had been a miracle when Jos started leaving her alone. She finally got some reprieve. She was able to build up her confidence due to the lack of constant insults.
This was thanks to Charles. He’d practically forced her to move in with him. Immediately after the events in the Redbull garage, Charles and Max were quick to move her out of there and make some security adjustments.
The lovely bruise on her forehead was still healing. The force Jos had used to throw the phone and given her some lovely damage. As if the emotional damage wasn’t enough.
Jos wasn’t allowed back into the paddock. Security had been made aware of what happened and that he was now prohibited from entering. For both hers and Max’s safety.
Victoria had flown down to see them both that same day. The youngest having called her to explain what happened. She filled her siblings to Monaco to help them move Y/N into Charles’ apartment.
She’d been here before. Often going back and forth between Charles and Max over the breaks. Max was just glad he was close by and could still be the overprotective big brother.
One she frequently got annoyed with.
Charles spent time trying to help her be in a better place. She spent time letting him rant about his teams poor strategy and lack of listening skills.
The blindness was obviously where she struggled. Always feeling dependent on others. Her dad had made her feel like she couldn't be blind and that it's something to despise about herself.
He'd told her it was her fault. That she was cursed. Maybe even diseased. A failure.
He pushed her to do more even though it was dangerous.
The instilled recklessness was probably the scariest thing for Charles. She was prone to doing things on her own that she had even said were dangerous.
She went walking without her cane one night to grab something from the store last minute. Charles had been in a meeting all day and passed out as soon as he got home. His attempt at dragging her to bed with him was futile.
She didn't think anything about the walk. She knew her way to the convenience store. She'd pratically memorized every step.
Night was more difficult because even with the vision she had left, she couldn't rely on it. But still she tried. Her determination to be independent and not wake-up Charles was willing her down the sidewalk.
Nightlife, however, can be a scary thing. Cars and drivers are unpredictable. People still haven't learned their lesson about drinking and driving
She came to the crosswalk. A four-way stop that was often busy during the day. She listened for any cars, only hearing one speeding in the distance. She started to cross after deeming it safe.
The car had sounded so far away. Sure, it was speeding, but how could it have gotten to her so fast? She was so close to the other side. So, the safety of the sidewalk.
She was standing, and then she was on the ground. Ears ringing and head aching.
A man got out of the car and started trying to see if she was okay. His words slurred, and the potent smell of alcohol dripped from his breath.
She was trying to figure out her surroundings. The bringt headlights and dark spots now render her entirely without vision.
Onlookers saw and called the authorities. It didn't take long for someone to arrive and help her back to safety. Her anxiety was settling now that she was no longer feeling her way around the street.
She didn't want to go to the hospital. She'd hated it ever since her dad basically left her their alone. Her brain struggling to seperate the two events.
She needed Charles.
They were doing the usual tests, trying to find any damage that had been done. Her tears silent as they worked.
The doctors were nice and gentle with her. They could tell she was uncomfortable and probably in pain.
Her phone had been shattered again. Charles had just purchased her a new one not that long ago.
The nurse was trying to call Charles or Max. Whichever one picked up first.
Seeing as Max is a night person, it ended up being him. He rushed out of the house, explaining to Kelly on the way out what happened.
Charles was awoken by the sound of banging at the front door. He shot out of bed dazed. He hadn't realized how long he slept for.
He checked his phone. It was now was 10 p.m. and he had several missed calls and a text.
A text from her saying that she had gone to get something from the store. His stomach dropped. He hated when she walked alone in the dark. But maybe she was at the door and needed him to let her in.
He rushed to the front of the apartment and swung the door open. It wasn't who he was expecting, though. Max was standing their out of breath. His clothes disheveled.
"Y/N is at the hospital."
~
Max drove them both. They were doing their best not to panic, but it was obvious.
Max had explained what had happened. She was thankfully not hurt too bad. But the nurse said she kept crying and saying she was fine. Even trying to leave before they were done.
Max knew why. She'd hated hospitals after the incident. He hated watching her cry every time they went for a doctors appointment.
When they arrived, the nurse brought them straight back to her. Charles almost broke at the sight of her curled up in the bed.
Max was getting the rundown of what happened. A lovely broken rib. A sprained wrist. A concussion from hitting her head on the concrete. He told Charles to be gentle with her, then left to sign some papers and get the pain meds they were sending her home with.
Charles sat on the edge of her bed. Gently stroking her leg. The gesture a small comfort to her.
"I'm sorry. I promise it's fine. I know it's my fault." She sniffles.
Charles was going to throw hands with Jos if he ever saw him again. "Mon Chère, don't apologize for this. The driver was to blame."
She moved to fave more towards him. Moving her hand into his. Letting her read him through his gestures.
"It was dangerous, though. I would have driven you."
She frowned. He was so concerned for her. It felt strange in comparison to how she was raised. "I didn't want to bother you... or look dependent and incapable."
"You will never have to worry about that with me."
He lifted her knuckles to his mouth and gave them a gentle kiss. The gesture causing her to smile ever so slightly.
"I love when you smile."
~
Safety became less of a problem after that. Charles had made it a priority. It became second nature after a while.
Next on the list was her confidence. It was absolutely ridiculous what what Jos had made her believe.
The older man was still doing it now. After she blocks his number, he'd get a new one. The man is crazy in Charles' eyes.
She was trying to cook one night. She'd become decent at it despite the limitations. Often using Charles to cut vegetables and not letting him do anything else.
This particular night, she'd received a call from her father. He'd heard about the accident from the news.
He shouted words at her through the phone. Asked if the times he made her walk across the track wasn't enough to teach her.
She spent the day crying after that.
Charles knew something happened when he returned to the apartment. She was trying to hide it, but the look in her eyes and determination to cook on her own told him everything he needed to know.
She was struggling. Her toes find every corner. Pans slip onto the floor. Is was catastrophic.
Eventually, she gave up. Finding the floor and letting the tears of hurt and frustration roll.
Charles sat down next to her and pulled her body into his. "Do you want to talk about it?" He asked softly.
"He called again today. Said that I should have gotten hit by a car when he made me walk back and fourth on the track when Max was driving. I didn't tell Max because otherwise he would've stopped practice."
Charles ran his hand in circles around her back.
"Why am I so weak? Max and Victoria are so much more than I will ever be."
"No, hush. Don't say such things." He caressed her face with her hands. "You are the strongest person I know."
Charles peppers her face with kisses, making her giggle.
"What do you say we clean this up and go get pizza?"
~
Doctors appointments were always a struggle. Charles basically had to drag her by her teeth. Sometimes it took him and Max.
This was one of those times.
She was crying in the passenger seat of the car. Clutching the same stuffed animal she brought to every visit. It was something she learned to do after the accident. Jos had a habit of leaving her at the office and not picking her up until late at night. Her only comfort to soft toy.
When he would come pick her up, he would rant about how frustrating she is. Tell her all the cruel things he needed in order to make himself feel better.
Now that fear was evident. She didn’t want to be left at the place she hated most for hours. She didn’t want to be berated for something that wasn’t her fault.
Charles can see her eyes, glassed over and distant. He places a comforting hand on her knee as he drives.
She’d been like this since Max managed to coax her into the car. Charles was thankful he was still on call since he didn’t know how it was going to be while they were there.
It was a simple follow up after she was hit. It seemed easy enough. But he could understand her reaction. He adds it to the list of reasons he’s going wring Jos’ neck the next time he sees him.
They pulled into the parking lot and immediately her breath becomes uneven. “Please don’t leave me.” She pleads with him.
It hurts. His heart hurts for her. “I would never.”
They take it slowly. A nice leisurely stroll to the entrance. Charles is so focused on her that he doesn’t notice the familiar figure just outside the door.
Charles nearly chokes on his spit. Halting in his spot and confusing the girl on his arm. “Charles? Are you okay.”
It’s funny to him how she’s the one on the verge of a breakdown and yet she’s asking if he’s okay.
“Mon Amour, would your dad know your here by any chance?”
She thinks for a moment. “He used to get all the appointment reminders for me since he was usually driving. Maybe he got something like that? Why do you ask?”
He thought about not telling her. But he knew this was unavoidable. “Jos is standing in our path.” He stays calm for her. He can already feel her shaking.
He gets them back to the car and dials Max’s number. Begging that he picks up the phone.
“Please tell me everything is going okay.” Max knows though; he knows something is wrong.
“Jos is here.”
Max lets out an angry string of Dutch words. “I’ll be there in a few. See if they have a back door.”
They do. Charles takes the long way around to it and meets a nurse outside. “I’m so sorry about this.” He quickly apologizes.
Max spots them and jogs over. “Is there any chance we can stay out of the waiting room.” He asks the nurse.
She smiles sympathetically, Charles had explained everything to her but there was no other option.
So the three headed inside. Max finds the farthest spot away from the window and sits down followed by his sister and Charles. All of them waiting with their breaths held.
Her name is called a few minutes later. The same nurse from earlier coming to help her to the room.
She looks frantically at Charles and Max. “I’ll be right here when you’re done, mon amour.” Charles reassures. Then she walks away.
“I feel like an idiot.” Max sighs. His leg bouncing in anxiety.
“Why’s that.”
“I thought I changed everything over.”
“Don’t feel bad, it was an honest mistake and now we know and can fix it.” Charles tries to comfort the Dutch.
Somehow, they managed to sneak out the back way again. Effectively avoiding Jos. This time, I thought Charles dosent hesitate to drive by him. When the Dutch makes eye contact with him, Charles shoots him a smug look and a middle finger.
His laugh dosen't go unnoticed.
"I know I can't see much, but I saw the look on his face. It was the most hysterical look he's ever had." She can't stop laughing for majority of the way home.
"I'm glad you find it amusing. Seeing you smile about it is just so beautiful."
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midnghtprentiss · 10 months
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dating emily prentiss - headcons
pairing: ssa emily prentiss x pediatrician!femreader
warnings: fluff content, sugestive smut, cm horrors (children abuse), emily being a softie
no descriptions of hair, skin color, body shape
i'm thinking about making this idea a series. what you guys think?
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You meet Emily for the first time because of Hotch. She drove him and Jack to your office in the middle of the night 'cause the poor child had a bad fever. She wasn't expecting to find you. Pink scrub with flowers and bees all over it, white shoes and a funny tiara in your hair. 
"Dr. Y/L/N. This is my coworker Emily, she drove us here." You nod, taking a quick glance at her. 
"Nice to meet you, Emily. Shall we go Jack?" 
That was the first time she was hypnotized by a woman like you. How you treated Hotch and especially Jack. She wouldn't mind spending hours watching you work. 
The second time she saw you was during a case. They were rescuing abused children and the pediatrician the BAU chose was you. Reid, Morgan and Emily stayed at the clinic while you did your best to save those children.
"Excuse me. My team stabilized four of the seven children, they're severely dehydrated and malnourished. With the right work and care everything will be alright." You lead them to the rooms. "If you're going to make them talk, be gentle and calm. No loud voices and movements. Remember, these children just experienced a lifetime trauma. If you need me I'll be in the other room."
"Yes ma'am." Emily answered quickly and received a smirk from Morgan. 
"Ask her out, Prentiss, don't be so shy." 
"That's inappropriate Derek, we are working." 
She asked you out after the case was over. She stopped by at your work to thank you for your help and asked if you wanted to have a coffee next time you're free.
You learned that Emily was addicted to coffee, that she loves fudge brownies and most of her clothes have cat hair. You were so entertained by the way she rambled and how her brown eyes sparkled when she got excited.  She laughed at your 'no sex on the first date' — you failed so bad. When both of you noticed you were breathing heavily in Emily's car. 
"I don't know why that's funny. This rule used to work every time." You gave her a look.
"I'm just too hot for this waiting thing and you weren't even complaining thirty minutes ago!"
The months were passing and you two got very involved. Phone calls when she's away, dinner at her or your place, waking up tangled in the sheets. The schedules work just fine, the cases were longer like your shifts. There wasn't pressure on labeling the relationship that was building, but was serious. This woman had you wrapped around her finger.
Long phone calls or voicemails when she's at her hotel room.
"Hey, I can't even imagine how rough the shift is today. The case is evolving to the right direction, we got different clues today and are close to catching the unsub. I saw a bookstore next to the precinct with the book you told me about, so I bought it to discuss with you on the next date. Reid said the book is fantastic and he told me a lot of curiosities about the author, can't wait to tell you everything. Anyway, call me when you can. I miss you." 
She surprises you with your favorite food when she picks you up at work. You commented that you wanted to eat sushi and the next day she showed up with sushi just for you. Or when you slept at hers she makes your favorite breakfast (with Rossi on the phone just to make sure she's not giving you food poisoning).
Emily is a morning person, you're not. Waking up with this woman looking like a golden retriever, walking around, rambling and trying to make you wake up. 
"You know Ems, if you're doing this to get into my panties you are not getting. Let me sleep." 
"It's a beautiful day, sugar. Let 's go!" She comes closer, stroking your messy hair.
"I hate you so much." You looked at her with the most evil smirk ever. 
When she started to think about the idea of marriage, kids and white picket fence she almost had a stroke. She changed her whole life plan since she met you. The idea of a love that is so light and free wasn't even a real thing in her head. The greatest part of her day was talking to you, thinking of you. You were the reason she was more caucareful at the field, she was being more open about her feelings to her closest friends. 
Girls night!!!!!!! Penelope and you bond right away. She was so excited to see the girl that was making Emily look like a love pudding.
"You are so made for each other, look at that! The way she looks at you!" 
"Penny, calm down!" You drunkenly laugh at her and pass your arm around your girlfriend.
"I think we should get shots for this moment. Y/N help me!" You give Emily a kiss on the cheek and follow Penelope. 
"How do you feel?" J.J asked Emily that answer with the brightest smile.
"I am in love with that woman and it hurts that she has no idea of how much it is." 
"She feels the same way, the lovesick gave. I'm happy you found your half." 
"I bought a ring." Dead silence between them. 
"What? Oh my God!" 
"Keep this down, ok? I'm waiting for the right moment and right now it's not. Hotch went with me and yeah, that's it." 
You slowly moved with Emily and started to have a life together. You share bills, you do chores together, buy things together. Even adopted another cat. Life was amazing, couldn't be better. Until the day she proposed.
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tteokdoroki · 2 years
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✉️; HOW LONG IS LONG ENOUGH? - A.MIYA
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💌; synopsis - the one in which atsumu miya takes too long love you like you deserve.
↳ length: 1.3K
↳ warnings: angst, no happy endings, break-ups, fake dating as a pr stunt, shitty bf!atsumu.
↳ notes: yes i just had some angst i needed to get out of my system and tsumu was the target!! word vomit, not beta’d, i hope you enjoy <3 m.list ♡
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“how long, atsumu?” your voice trembles in the way that makes him sick, tired in the way that makes his heart ache for you. atsumu pushed you with this and now you’re at your wits end, there’s a hole in your heart and he’s the one that caused it. “how long do i have to sit here and pretend that it doesn’t hurt to love you like this?” this argument isn’t new to either of you, almost routine at this point but it doesn’t mean it’s any easier to deal with, that it’s smooth sailing and will end in a quick truce—  the both of you hate putting yourselves through this every time.
it goes a little something like this.
the jackals play an important match that you have to sit at home to see, cheering your boyfriend on from miles away. they win, and you get to watch him crack a sweaty smile on camera without being there to congratulate him, and then he leaves the stadium— arms wrapped around someone other than you, someone with a picture perfect smile to please the paparazzi and an attitude applauded by MSBY fans across the globe. she’s someone you’re not, someone completely unspecial to you, who doesn’t know how to love like you do, but she’s perfect for your atsumu in the eyes of his management team. a fake girlfriend in place of the wonderfully ordinary you.
“it’s fer the team.” the blonde mumbles simply. he’s too tired to run through this with you again, or perhaps it's that atsumu is too shameful to admit that this little arrangement to further his career has gone too far. he has no idea why you’d stuck around for so long, by now you should have had a ring, a dog and house with a white Pickett fence instead of the bachelor pad only the best volleyball bucks can buy.
the volleyball player had promised you that fake dating this girl wouldn’t have lasted for long— he’d begged you with teary brown eyes to stay with him. it would only be for a short while, so he could make enough money from the team to pay for a place where he could treat you like a princess. it would only be temporary, then he would use his starter salary to get you that ring you’d talked about when making out in the back of class all throughout highschool or when your pinkies were linked walking home from his late night practices. he’d tell you how many kids he’d want with you, what their names would be and who they’d look like in hushed whispers when you stayed over and osamu was half asleep in the bunk beneath your boyfriend’s.  
atsumu miya wanted to give you the entire world, the diamond cut ring and the big fancy wedding— he swore on his life that he’d give it to you. 
he had to, after all, you’d stayed. because you loved him, because leaving him over a shitty PR stunt wasn’t worth not having the opportunity to watch atsumu live his dream. you’d told him that yourself, even as his promises turned to what-ifs and he spent more time and effort working on his fake relationship than building a life with you. 
your voice, still weak, possibly from crying cut’s through the setter’s flashbulb thoughts while he strips for bed and you follow him into the bedroom. you shiver, it no longer feels warm like a home should. “so, the team more important than me? is that what you’re saying?” there’s a crack in between your words, the one just before you burst into tears, the one where you’re holding back and one word from atsumu sends your walls crashing down. he would usually be the first to drop everything , pull you into his chest and press your head close to where his heart belongs so he can bring you back— calm you down. but tonight, the blonde miya can’t bring himself to move, to hold you like he would back when the world was less complicated and it was just you, atsumu and a dream to take over Japan.
“the team— volleyball, it’s my fuckin’ life. I’d do anything to keep my life like this, fake datin’ or not!” atsumu spins on his heel to face you, ignoring the red in your eyes and the tremble of your lower lip. you look so pale, drained of love and life and it kills him to know he’s the cause. “i gave my everythin’ to make sure we could live this life together, coverin’ our asses. keepin’ you off the fuckin’ streets. if you can’t see that, then maybe,  ya don’t belong in my life anymore.” 
he doesn’t mean to say it,  not really. but the words have already been cast into the air, hanging heavy and clinging onto the tension building in the cold room. the look on your face tells atsumu that it’s too late to backtrack, to take back his words and kiss you and tell you that this girl his managers have him set up with mean absolutely nothing to him. that he feels sick every time he has to kiss her cheek for the cameras and tell the press that everything he does in his games is for her when it’s not. when it’s you, he owes all of his successes too. but it doesn’t matter, your worst fears have now been thrown out into the air that you breathe. all by the man you love.
the man who doesn’t need you.
“baby…i didn’t—“ atsumu tries, throat dry as he swallows, not finishing before you cut him off.
“what? and she does? she knows how you like your coffee? how you pack your gym bag? how you hate the noise hotel aircon makes and the way flying makes you nervous. she knows that? she loves you like that?” you spit at him like a snake full of venom, trying your best not to lose it in front of the shell of the man you used to adore. this is not your atsumu, he is not the boy with the shitty jokes and the temperament of a toddler. he’s a product of the fame and success you only dreamed of and had scribbled down into the notebook dedicated to your English classes— his name written in a heart under the doggy ear on the corner of the first page. 
and, of course she didn’t, she was just an act— a cover up by his management to hide the real relationship atsumu had, now crumbling at his feet. “‘m sorry,” he says desperately, crossing the room to get to you in three short strides, backing up when you flinch away, back hitting the wall behind you. “how do i fix this? make it up t’ya?” the blonde feels his chest tighten, hands coming up to cup your face and you look away from him like you’ve been staring at the sun too long. 
like you’ve been scorned and burned by the one thing that brings you life.
“end it, tell them you don’t want a fake relationship anymore. tell them it’s over, it’s done.” 
you give atsumu miya the silence to choose, to make good on all the promises he ever made you or to possibly throw away the career he now had. the one he always wanted…but he makes you wait too long, he can see the dam you’ve built breaking and the tears you were holding back stream down your face and catch on the Cupid’s bow he used to kiss.
“i’ve waited long enough tsumu, hoping— praying that you’d make the right choice, time and time again…but i’ve waited long enough.” you say, tearing yourself away from the setter. 
you leave that night, with bags packed that he never noticed, alongside the pain of the broken heart you’d be stuck with the entire time— one you’d been suffering for far too long, he decides. 
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mhsdatgo · 9 days
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Alicent crowing aegon exposing her children to more risk than just letting rhaenyra became queen. Rhaenyra wanted that throne, there is no way she would have accepted those "terms", and alicent is 100% aware of this in the book and in the show as well. By crowning aegon she start a war and put her children DIRECTLY on the battlefield against people who were more experienced in war like daemon or ride dragon longer like rhaenyra and rhaenys amd consequently may control their dragon better. If you didn't want to consider a crash between two or more dragons, even if they were on a dragon against an army the danger is very high, look at rhaenys the conqueror or aemon the first son of jaehaerys, they were on dragon's back and yet both of them were killed by arrow. Not to mention that both in the book and in the show alicent spend years creating animosity with rhaenyra, If you TRULY believe that someone may hurt your children you do everything you can to maintain at least a civil relationship, and not constantly provoke them and then cry about how your children may be hurt by your stupidity. Because that what alicent has done in the book starting hating rhaenyra, pray viserys to name Aegon as heir and constantly share gossip to damage rhaenyra's image (with a 10 years old girl, meanwhile Alicent was a GROWN woman), and in the show the situation is not different. The truth is that alicent’s action were based on her own ambitious in the book and on her resentment to rhaenyra in the show, but NEVER in the interest of her children. In fact aegon never wanted to be king, he was forced by her and has to endure all the consequences while watching all of his family die
Ladies and gentlemen, here we have someone who quite literally didn't get a single thing about Fire and Blood.
See, anons like these are what makes my blood boil at the writers of HotD for making Rhaenyra appear like a saint which not only made most of the decisions she'll take from this moment onward out of (show) character (as far as character building and development goes) but also fucking boring.
I'm always one to listen to different points of view and interpretations of books as complicated as these, but something that has always bugged me is the way this fandom CANNOT DIGEST the type of tragedy that is just inevitable.
It was never about picking sides, it was never about sexism, it was always about kin torn apart by kin and their own flaws dragging them down. There was no way to ever avoid that and I cannot have a proper discussion about F&B with anyone who doesn't understand this first.
Moreover, just what do you think Alicent should've done? Shut up, be quiet, sit still and look pretty while Daemon's spies turned her children into bloody shreds? Allow them to be assassinated because of the threat they pose to Rhaenyra's claim? Does everything revolve around her? Is she some kind of Twilight Sparkle?
Let me tell you this: no woman would willingly step back and leave their children to their own devices when their own lives pose a threat to someone else's interests.
I have respect for Rhaenyra and her will to fight for what she believed was her birthright (although let's be honest, it was a feeling born out of nothing but the entitlement of a spoiled brat, it turned into a war of parents after one of each faction's children was killed) but I also have so much more respect for Alicent and her courage to bare teeth and claws and plan a coup to be allowed the upper hand and more possibilities of looking after her children if one of them is ruling. It's not "stupidity" it's awareness. And acting according to it.
It's true that Alicent has her own ambitions, but to say that they started growing in her when she was nothing but an 18 year old girl marrying a 30 year old man... Do you hear yourself? That's a girl getting graduated from high school. Oh shiver me timbers, we're scared of young adults here.
Everyone likes and loves and adores to talk about the way ALICENT was having beef with Rhaenyra as a 10 year old but nevermind Rhaenyra placing a bounty on two toddlers and one of them getting ripped apart because of it. Nevermind her refusing that bastard Corlys' advice to take Daeron as a hostage and demanding that he be killed instead. (Because this bitch was the #1 threat to her rule, but y'all aren't ready for that conversation)
She never "prayed" for Aegon to be named as heir, what she DID pray for was for him and Rhaenyra to be betrothed to one another. I hate Rhaegon personally, (no hate to any Rhaegon stan that reads this ♥️) but honestly this is the only marriage that could've MAYBE prevented the Dance. It started because there were two claimants to the throne. Just marry them to each other and the issue was solved. Both of them get crowned, no Dance, peace.
But noooooo, Viserys, the incompetent twat, as always had to act like an incompetent twat and be like "lol but they don't get along". IT WAS HIM WHO DOOMED HIS CHILDREN, EACH AND EVERY ONE OF HIS SONS AND DAUGHTERS. ALL. OF. THEM.
Everyone else acted as a consequence to the cluterfuck that the sick old man created. Namely, chaos. What else did you expect?
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Evan "Buck" Buckley x Reader
Summary: This takes place a little before the quarantine episodes (I believe season four). No major spoilers, but be warned there may be some. Firefighter!118!Reader
A/N: Please send me some requests for Evan.
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"God, how much longer is this going to last," Buck said as you both had received an email saying that it would be at least and additional two weeks until you could return to work due to a virus.
"At least we get more time with each other," you said as he continued pouting. Being at home this much was killing him.
You, not so much. You had only been back at the 118 for a week before news if the virus hit. You had been out for a few weeks after you broke your wrist after getting hit with falling debris during a fire.
Buck had finally stopped pacing around the apartment and sat next to you on the couch. Whenever he couldn't work he was absolutely miserable. Everytime he was stuck at home.
"You might want to enjoy the break, once we get back to work it's going to be hell," you remind him. If the virus is a permanent thing there will be new protocols and more emergencies caused by it.
"I guess you're right," he said under his breath and you smiled. He hated admitting that you were right.
"I can't hear you, what did you say?" You tease and Buck groans. He knows you heard him. You do this every time he has to say those dreaded words.
"I know you heard me, but you're right," he says. "there, I said it," he finishes and you let out a little laugh.
"I'm always right," you say and he laughs with you. Quarantine wouldn't be so bad as long as you had each other.
Buck sighed, anytime he needed you, you were there for him. When his leg was crushed, And he was stuck at home for what felt like all of eternity, you took a lot of time off.
You made sure he was never alone more than he had to be. And you had this way of knowing if he needed you or to be alone. He didn't understand how you did it. You just did.
"Thanks for being here with me," he said as he pulled you into a hug on the couch. You smiled into his embrace.
"Of course I'm here, I live here silly," you reply with a smile.
"No, I mean always being there for me. You do everything I could ever need and more," he says as his voice begins to crack.
"It's because I love you," you say and place a kiss on his cheek. Everything you did was for love. From running into a burning building after Buck, to staying at home a little more because he couldn't leave.
"I love you to sweetheart," he says. The comforting weight of your body in his lap was comforting. He picked you up and you gasped as he carried you up the stairs and into his bed.
"You know I hate when you do that without a warning," you say and he smiles before cuddling yo next to you on the bed.
"You know I love doing that," he says as he runs his fingers through your silky hair.
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Reblogs and comments are appreciated! Request are open!
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sweetlittlegingy · 1 year
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I Don't Need Your Closure
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✦ Previous Chapter | Next Chapter | Better Man Universe
✦Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Single!Mother
✦Word Count: 8.5K
✦Warnings: Fluff, Angst, mentions of SA (previous relationship), self-hate, nightmares, deployment, anxiety, slight smut, shower smut.
✦A/n: This was sitting in my drafts for the past 5 days, I couldn't write the end... but now it's here, thank the gods.
✦Library (Follow for updates! I no longer have a taglist.)
You couldn’t stop pacing; not since you woke up this morning, and you had continuously been on the move ever since. You’d woke up this morning, after tossing and turning all night, brain buzzing like a live wire.  
Your sleep pattern had been erratic ever since Jake got deployed, the short two months had turned into eight months, and you were exhausted. It wasn't like you and Jake slept together; heck you weren't even actually together, but it was knowing that he was close that let you sleep, and with him gone… well your sleep disappeared too. 
The two of you had been left in this weird, awkward phase after the incident happened.  God, you couldn’t even think about, let alone talk about. You hadn’t told anyone what happened, and well, you and Jake hadn’t discussed it either.  
I mean that could have partially been your fault, given that any time Jake called you made sure that Mathew was in the room, so he couldn't bring it up. But how else were you supposed to process it… Jake wasn’t here and well; you were so damaged that you weren’t even sure if you knew how to do the whole “relationship” thing anymore.  
Though you have been having trouble sleeping in the last eight months, last night it was on a whole new level. You didn’t even know if you could consider your sleep last night, even sleeping. Given the fact that you would fall asleep for 30 minutes and then wake back up, your mind was on a constant loop that you couldn’t shut off. Not only were the nightmares insistent on ruining the state of your current mental health, but the added anxiety had completely screwed you over. 
It was the constant flood of nagging questions, anxiety, confusion, and the overall terrifying feeling that your and Jake’s relationship might be forever changed after today.  
Their deployment was finally up and the whole Dagger Squad was coming home today. But with the deployment ending, that meant Jake was home, and with Jake home that meant you had to have a conversation about the incident, and you just couldn't do it. Because that conversation was going to change everything.  
It would change things in a way that terrified you; in a way that could mean losing Jake Seresin forever. If that was the outcome, well, you don’t think you could live through that kind of loss.  
The kind of loss that was from losing the man that you think you love, but don't know how to love. Losing the one person that made you finally see the light of day. The man that had already come in and picked up all the pieces of your heart. Who had formed an amazing relationship with your son. Who loved and was loved by your son. Who had changed you so exponentially and erratically, that a life without him wouldn't be a life you wanted to live. That kind of loss would be the end of you.  
When you finally left Adam, it was like a weight was lifted off your shoulders. The ending of that relationship was the best thing that could’ve ever happened to you, like you finally had a chance to restart and build a life for you and Mathew. Where you would both be safe and loved, to start anew.  
But the idea of losing Jake, you were sure that outcome would destroy you. Not only you but also Mathew, the four-year-old had grown insanely attached to Jake. So much so that even with this deployment, Mathew was always asking about him and got the chance to talk to him at least once every two weeks, if not once a week. 
You finally place the last book on the shelf, taking a step back, and glance to the “new spot” in which you'd place the bookshelf. You'd moved it around three times already this morning, the redecoration of your office had been the chosen form of distraction, and the new spot was technically the spot in which it started, but the activity had kept you busy, and truth be told that's the only thing keeping you at work.  
You technically didn't need to be here today at all, but you wanted to finish up on paperwork for a new set of incoming recruits. Though, those plans quickly went out the window when you looked at the paperwork and all you saw was Jake. They hadn’t even been touched, which was saying a lot, given that you got here at 6:00 AM.  
No one was in the office, given that the squadron was coming home. You shouldn't have even been in the office, but it was better to be here. With your mind radically spiraling, then in your own home where you saw Jake everywhere. Technically he was here too, but at least work was filled with formal Jake. Home was filled with cuddly Jake, and amazing with Mathew, Jake. It was just a lot of Jake, that made you feel things you shouldn’t.  
“If you move that again, I'm calling the psychiatric doctor.”  
The voice startles you and makes you jump slightly; your hard gaze crosses the room to find your sister resting against the doorway to your office.  
“Yeah, I don't know how you didn't hear me or see me. I've been here since the second move of that shelf and I'm a little bit worried about you.” Her tone had remained teasing until she caught the way you couldn't stop fidgeting, and the downfall of your eyes cast to the ground.  
Penny is at your side before you can even glance back up at her. Both her hands rest against your arms and rub up and down in a comforting manner.  
“Y/n, what’s going on?”  
You're shoulders slightly relax in her hold, though the tight smile that you try and give her only makes her worry about you more. You don't know how to talk about it, how are you supposed to tell Penny that you've been keeping a massive secret from her for eight months. 
You can't help it when you start pacing again, brushing her hands off you, only to receive a loud sigh in reaction. You glance back at Penny and find her resting against your desk, silently waiting for you to tell her what the hell was going on. 
The dramatic sigh you release would have been hilarious if it wasn't so serious. Deciding that it's better to just rip the Band-Aid off; quick and easy. You come to stand in front of your sister, hands resting on your hips, back straight, and trying to remain as calm as possible. 
Penny gives you a reassuring smile and patiently waits for you to continue. With a deep sigh, words start tumbling out of your mouth before you can even comprehend what you're saying.  
“Everything would’ve been fine; it could’ve been fine if he hadn’t kissed me. If after that first weekend that Jake met Mathew, I buried feelings and emotions and hid them deep within the ground.” You don't even realize that you've started pacing again, and the wide eyes from Penny, clearly mean she had no idea about what was going on. Your anxious pacing certainly isn’t helping her as she tries to process your words, just as fast as you say them.    
“I could have hidden them and continued to have an amazing friendship with Jake. Not the relationship I want and hoped for, but at least a friendship. At least a life where Jake was a part of mine and Mathew’s everyday routine.”  
And you had, you really had. You’ve done so good at hiding it, any and every emotion that wasn’t friendship, you had been able to hide from Jake for a year and a half. It killed you not to be able to hug him, love him, and express emotions like you wanted, but you weren’t sure if he liked you like that.  
After that long weekend, you slowly started to pull back, well aware of every moment in which you were in each other's arms. It had been hard, but pulling away was easier than free-falling, and Jake had never said anything. He hadn't commented on how you started drifting apart. He’d never shown any emotion or any signs that he wanted anything else, anything more with you.  
And now… 
Your friendship had turned utterly grey when it should’ve been black and white. When you should’ve been able to separate your emotions and feelings. Not with Jake though, everything with him bled it into a mess of colors. Lines a mess, stripped and running through each other. Nowhere near the nice perfect picture you wanted; with colors that stayed in the lines and didn’t bleed.       
The life that had you and Jake in the same picture, even if there was a large line separating you. Because even with that vast wasted space in between you, you still had each other. You never had to worry about stepping on each other’s toes, or whether he would get annoyed with you, or hate you, or not like you, or not love you…    
Tears fall from your eyes, without you noticing. You've been so worked up that you hadn't noticed how your body started to shake and that barely any of your words were audible. That it was only a mumbled mess, and Penny had only been able to pick of random words in it.  
“Hey, it’s okay sweetie.”  
The heaving of your chest doesn't slow as Penny pulls you into her, rocking you slightly like she used to when you were little. One hand grasping at your back, while the other brushes your hair slightly, as she continually says that everything is going to be okay in your ear. Though it doesn't feel okay. All it feels like is that you're completely overwhelmed, and you don't know how to process it. Like your walls were caving in and no matter how hard you tried, it was going to collapse on top of you. 
Like the last eight months, you've spent burying everything was for nothing because now it's all wide open for everybody to see. 
“I just don't know what to do Pen. He came to say goodbye the night before his deployment, and he kissed me. He kissed me and it felt like everything was right and perfect, and then he just left. He didn't say anything; just turned and left.” 
You hate the stare of pity that you get from Penny, she looks at you like if she says the wrong thing it's going to completely break you. Which it might, but that doesn't mean you want her to walk on eggshells around you. 
“I’m sure he was just scared.”  
You scoff slightly and your eyes roll, nearly touching the back of your head. 
“This is Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin, we're talking about Pen. I've seen that man do terrifying shit, believe me when I tell you he was not scared. I don't know what he was…” 
This time it's Pennys turned to scoff at you, before going into full mom mode. 
“Sweetheart, there is so much that you don't see, and you really need to talk to Jake about this.” The thought of having THIS conversation with Jake makes your anxiety spike again, and you're surprised that your bottom lip hasn't split open from the way that you've chewed on it. 
“You don’t get it Pen, the only time I was able to sleep soundly was when he was in the house. When he was close by. The last eight months have been hell for me, because every night I wake up screaming. And sometimes it’s memories, but other times its Mav coming to tell me that he’s not here anymore. That something went wrong, and that Jake died. And those dreams, those are so much worse than the memories… and that’s saying something when you’ve been through everything I have.” 
Your breathing doesn't slow, as you start pacing again, the onset of your panic attack is noticeable, but you can't stop it. Your glossed-over eyes don't know where to look because everything's a blur, and you can't stop the tears from running down your face. The slight shake of your arms has you gripping your shoulders, as you kneel down against the wall, back pressed in trying to ground yourself.  
The continuous audio in your head of Adam screaming at you, and telling you how you weren't worth loving. That no one would ever love you, and that you were a waste of space. The emotions and feelings seep back in, of how he hurt you. How the bruises and cuts might have been healed, but your heart had never healed. Sure, Jake picked up the pieces and glued you back together, but he didn't understand the real damage. The internal damage that kept you lying awake at night. It was incessant and ever-looming, just waiting for the right moment.  
You are damaged beyond repair, and you couldn't understand why everybody in your life claimed to love you, when you couldn't even love yourself. And if you couldn't even love yourself, how could Jake ever. But even if he ever did, you couldn’t let him see the real you, because the real you wasn’t worth it. 
The shuttering in your shoulders hadn't stopped, but the tears had finally stopped falling and as you look up at Penny who has tears in her own eyes, the only emotion you can feel is vacancy.  
“I love Jake, but I don’t know how to be loved or love anymore. That part of me hid away a long time ago, and I'm terrified that I'm never going to get it back.” 
It's a number of sweet nothings that fall from Penny's lips, as she grasps onto you and pulls you into her chest. The both of you calming, safely resting in your big sister’s arms. The anxiety and stress drain from your body, though an overwhelming tiredness consumes you, and at some point, you fall asleep.  
A welcomed dreamless sleep, one that you don't wake up screaming from. 
… 
“I haven’t seen her like this since we were kids. She used to have really bad nightmares when dad got deployed, but this … It scared me.” 
Jake's eyes cast back to your sleeping form on the floor of your office, the setting sun peers through the window and even in your current state, Jake still thought you looked absolutely gorgeous. 
“Is this the only breakdown she's had?” He doesn't mean for his tone to come off harsh, but he's a man in love and insanely protective.  
“She said that she's been having nightmares again, but the way she described them… it's been bad Jake and she's been doing it alone. Because she doesn't think she's worth telling anyone.”  
Penny can't stop the onset of tears, as she watches her baby sister sleep. Still reeling from the information that she learned and wondering what in the world your ex had done to you, that made you think so harshly about yourself. 
“I don't know what happened to her in Florida, but when Bradley brought her home, she didn't talk for a week, and when she finally did start talking it was like nothing happened.” 
The new information makes Jake's breath hitch slightly; Rooster hadn't gone into direct details about what happened when he brought you home. Jake knew it was bad, but to hear the raw details like that, felt like a knife had been plunged through his chest.  
“I didn't see my little sister for months, she was only a shell of the girl she used to be, and then you show up. Whatever you did brought back a light in her. But after what I just saw, just heard, I’m terrified that it is, or it already has completely gone out.”  
Penny's gaze cuts back from you to Jake, and her eyes pierce through his soul. He'd never seen Penny so heartbroken; in all the time he's been a Top Gun, Jake had never seen the oldest Benjamin so lost.  
“I don't know all the details of what happened between you two, but she thinks that you don't have any feelings for her. Which I know is a goddamn lie, but she believes with her whole heart that she is not worth it. That she doesn’t deserve to be loved.” Penny breathes in a shattered breath as she tries to collect her thoughts, eyes closing for a moment still processing all the new information.  
“I know that you can't make her change your mind, but she needs to know. Because right now she's terrified of losing you, and that thought alone has sent her spiraling, so deep into a black hole that she can't dig herself out. So, you have to, and if you can't, you need to tell me right now.”  
The overwhelming sense of love and pure heartache that echo through the hollows of Jake’s heart, has the lump in his throat catching. A silver mist of tears lines his eyes, begging to fall, and as he watches the steady breathing flow in and out of your chest, they do. A sharp breath is sucked in, his hand quick to wipe away the stray tear, and his eyes never leave your broken form. 
“She’s, my girl.” The statement has a shutter breath gasping from his chest, “guess it’s time I buck up and make it official.”  
The harsh laugh that falls from Jake’s chest, is only to hide the pain he feels. The pain that he's caused you, not only the kiss but waiting so long. The time that he spent waiting for you to make the move when in reality you needed him to make it. To tell you that you were enough and that you were worth the love. 
“Umm… Do you know where Maty is?”  
A happy laugh falls from Penny’s chest as Jake asks the question, of course, Matthew was the main priority right up next to you. 
“Yeah, he’s with mom and dad, but Amelia wanted to watch him tonight. I can go over and pick him up, don't worry about him.” Penny sees the slight apprehension on Jake's face.  
“I always worry about him.” His statement is firm and not meant to be questioned. 
Eye contact between the two is understanding, Jake had worried about Mathew just as much as Penny ever worried about Amelia. Penny knew then, that whether Mathew was blood-related or not to Jake, he was his son.  
“I know, but I can handle tonight. I just need you to be there for Y/n.”  
The gentle squeeze of the hand that Penny gives Jake, is a silent welcome. It was like at that moment before anyone else knew, Penny had declared Jake a part of the Benjamin family. 
… 
The soft stroke of your hair pulls you from the deep sleep, and your headaches slightly from the tears that you had shed. You're unsure if it's your mind playing tricks on you, or if he's actually here, if he is actually back. These last eight months have been rough, and your mind had started playing games on you.  
Nights that you thought that he was with you, were only a harsh reminder to you when you woke up, and he was gone still. Though the familiar smell of jet fuel mixed in with his cologne is lulling you into a false state of comfort and ease.  
The clench of your eyes shut tighter, gives you away, signally that you were awake. Though you were too afraid to open your eyes, too scared that the presence you thought was there would disappear. That Jake would still be gone. Though you're even more scared of the conversation that's sure to ensue if the presence really is Jake.  
“Sweets, wake up for me baby.”  
The sound of his voice has you gasping, as your eyes fly open, and once again tears stream down your face. The choked sound of the sob that leaves your chest, is more than enough motivation for Jake to grip onto you and pull you to him.  
“I’m here, Sweets.”  
And though the statement should comfort you, it only has your tears falling harder and faster. And even though you know you shouldn't, even though you're terrified of the outcome, you can't stop your hands from gripping onto his shirt. You hold on to him like he could slip between your fingers and fade away at any moment. 
The stroke of Jake's hand through your hair and the tracing of his finger up your spine comforts you. Soothing your sobs momentarily as the both of you sit in silence, clinging to one another. If only, for just this moment. 
… 
You're not sure how much time has passed, but you know that your knees ache from the kneeling position that you're in. You know that it had to be a substantial amount of time as the white tee shirt you're pressed into against jake's chest, is completely soaked with your tears.  
Even though you don't want to, even though you wish that you could stay in this specific moment forever, you pull away. Your eyes focus and you find his emerald, green pair watching you.  
Though they don't hold the same light happy nature you're used to, tears streamed down from his face and that emerald green that's usually so bright and happy is surrounded by sorrow and sadness. A pain that strikes you right to your core. 
“Jake” His name barely slips past your lips before you're gasping for breath and crying again, your chest shuddering and shaking as your emotions take over once again. Though this time it's not Penny trying to smooth you.  
It's Jake, your Jake.  
Who has been gone so long, but now is here in your arms holding you and pressing gentle kisses against the crown of your head. He was actually home.  
Even though your mind is screaming at you to pull away, to pull up the walls once again. Your heart craves Jake, and you can’t stop yourself from melting in his hold. 
“Sweets, let’s go home.”  
You pull away from Jake before quietly questioning him, “Together?”  
The pain is clear in your voice, and the sight of your near-trembling lip would break Jake altogether. But he finally had your tears subsiding, and he wasn’t going to risk you getting triggered by his own tears.  
“Of course.”  
His voice is steady and calming, as his hand comes up to brush a stray hair from your face, you can’t stop yourself from nuzzling into his palm.  
“Darlin’ home is wherever, as long as it’s with you.”  
His words sink deep in your chest, and you wonder if he means them, the same way that you do, when you mutter, ‘You are my home’ quietly against his palm.  
Jake helps you up, the waver in your legs would send you tumbling if Jake's hands weren’t securely wrapped around your waist. 
Though as if your standing, triggered the fog filling your mind to fade away, a harsh gasp slips from your lips, and you’re consumed with guilt.  
“Mathew, oh my god..”  
Before you can once again tumble into despair, Jake softly lifts your chin, and your eyes meet.  
“Already taken care of darin’.”  
The question of how forms on your lips, but is forgotten as Jake places a kiss on your forehead.  
“He’s staying the night at Penny’s, he was my top priority, right next to you.” 
He’s words warm your chest, and once again you remember why you, quite possibly love this man. Though your mind hastily ignores the thought, as it enters your mind.  
“I miss the bug, but getting to have you to myself for one night is worth it.”  
“Jake –” 
“Not till we get home, Sweets.”  
… 
The drive home passes quickly with Jake driving your car, and you can't help but feel slightly bad, after all, he just got back from an 8-month deployment. You’re positive that he is shattered, considering the dark circles under his eyes, and you know that he came straight to you, considering the fact that his pack is now in your back seat, and he is still in his flight suit.  
The feeling doesn't sit well in the base of your gut, and the anxiety of once again, of not being enough circulated through your mind. If you wouldn’t have been such a mess, then Jake wouldn’t need to be taking care of you. He shouldn’t have to be away for months on end, working his ass off, and have to come home to this.  
You should be taking care of Jake. You should have been driving him home and already had dinner ready, but instead, you’ve failed once again. Only proving that each comment Adam ever said to you was true.  
Jake pulls into your drive, and you’re so consumed with your doubt that you don’t even notice that you’ve parked until Jake opens your door. His palm faces up and waits for you to grasp it. When you do, Jake is quick to shut your door and rest you back against it. His eyes hold nothing but warmth and concern for you, though you can’t see it.  
“Darlin’ you’re thinkin’ so loud, it’s given me a headache.”  
At the sound of you causing him stress, your head snaps up and you start profusely apologizing. Which only concerns Jake more, you were usually always snapping back at his sarcasm, and given the way you’ve continued to mutter apologies at him, he knows that you’ve fallen in deep.  
The quiet drive home didn’t sit well with him, it was unusually tense and not the peaceful silence that was always between the two of you.  
No, this silence was heavy and made him feel like you were slowly slipping away. Forgoing grabbing his pack, Jake slips his hand in your own and tugs you up the walk. Unlocking the door with the keys, he had gotten from you back on base and ushers you into the kitchen. The continued silence worries him, Penny’s words ringing loud in his ear.  
She didn’t talk for a week, then it was as if nothing happened. 
He can't handle the thought of you going silent on him, of you in so much pain that speaking is too much work. You stand there so still and silent in the middle of the kitchen, completely numb and unmoving to the outside world.  
“Sweets?” His soft voice and the brush of his hand against your cheek pulls you out of the daze. A soft hum falls from your lips in acknowledgment, though you say nothing else.  
“Baby, what do you need? Please talk to me.”  
You'd never heard Jake sound so desperate, like whatever you said to him would either make or break him.  
“I … I –” 
It doesn't surprise you when both of Jake's hands come to rest against your cheeks, tilting your head up so you're looking him directly in the eyes. He can see it in your eyes, the pain that you're swimming in, practically drowning.  
“Darlin’ what do you need, ignore the thoughts, and the outside world. Baby, it's just us.” 
Your eyes never falter as you stare at Jake, his presence automatically calmed you after the last eight months, and suddenly you don't care.  
Your mind had been too much and all you wanted was Jake. You know it'll kill you tomorrow when you've got a clear mind, but in this moment you can't care. Because of the way you are spiraling, the hateful words and memories from your past we're consuming you, if you didn't stop it, it would only lead to disaster.  
For the first time tonight, a small glint in your eye reappears. A small hope for Jake that you would be okay. 
“I need you.”  
And without a second thought for the repercussions, your arms wrap around Jake’s neck and pull his lips down to slot against your own. Eight months had been a long time, but his lips against yours felt just like you remembered. They fit perfectly against your own, though now slightly chapped, no doubt from the incessant way that he licked his lips when they started to dry.  
And just as quick as it started, Jake was pulling away. His hands remained on your hips, keeping you close but far enough away that he could look you in the eyes. He almost feels like an asshole, when a flash of pain crosses your face, and you start pulling farther away from him.  
“Nope, no. Darlin’ look at me, we're fixing this right now.”  
The harsh tone of his voice makes you whimper, and Jake actively curses himself for using such a rough tone with you, but he needed your attention, he needed you to listen. One of his hands leaves your hips and comes to rest just under your chin, which had settled facing downward. Jake's thumb and forefinger gently nip at your chin before tilting it up, giving you no choice but to look at him.  
“This is in no way how I wanted to go about this, but Penny told me some things darlin’ and I can't leave words left unsaid anymore. Not when you're in pain because of me.”  
The only thoughts passing through your mind are, ‘this is it, this is the end…’ The pain of the thought is too much, and your lip starts to slightly tremble as you wait for Jake to make the final blow.  
“Sweetheart, when I kissed you right before we left, it wasn't some quick decision. I kissed you because I couldn't take the risk of dying, and never knowing what we felt like.” The sharp intake of air you breathe has Jake worried and his own follows suit. If he hadn’t been clutching onto you for dear life, he was sure that he would’ve been pacing. His own anxiety trigging his hand to brush back through his hair, before settling. “And damn it, you felt like utter perfection against me, but then I realized how I'd broken a promise. A promise I made to never rush you into anything or throw my feelings at you, without you doing it first, and so, I left. Like a damn idiot, I left.”  
The tremble of your lips only quickens, as your once slackened hands raise up to brush against Jake's cheeks, wiping away the stray tears that have fallen. He nuzzles into the palm of your hand only slightly, before placing a quick kiss on it.  
“Sweets… I decided then, that if I died, it would be okay. Because at least for a moment, no matter how small it was, I had perfection.”  
The statement makes your heart speed, the realization slowly setting in that the kiss wasn’t a fluke, and that Jake had meant it. That everything you felt wasn’t one-sided, and it should have been enough to stop you from the slew of harsh words racing through your mind. The fact that Jake liked you should have been able to pull you out of the darkness, but it hadn’t.  
“You don’t want me, Jake.” The harsh gasp that leaves your chest turns into a failed laugh and Jake had never seen you so in doubt of yourself. “I’m so fucking broken, and I don’t know if I can be fixed.”  
 The palm that rests against your cheek flexes momentarily. Jake hated everything you just said, you had no right to tell him whether he wanted you or not.  
“Darlin’ I will always want you.”  
“You shouldn’t have to be with damaged goods, you’re worth more than that.”  
You would have been scared if he was Adam because the noise that releases from Jake’s chest is full of anger and pain. The fire reignites in his eyes, and even if you wanted to look away you couldn’t. Not when his eyes watched you with such passion.  
“Y/n Charlotte Benjamin, I don’t care if you have never listened to me or if you never listen to me again, but you will listen to me right now.” The authority in his voice has you reaching out to him, grasping his left hand in between your own and you give him a nod to continue. “You and Mathew are the best thing that has ever happened to me, over my career and my rank, against everything you are the best.  Now, I don’t know everything that happened to you, and I will never make you tell me, but darlin’ I will spend the rest of my life making sure you realize your worth.” His words pause for a moment, caught in his throat as Jake tries to hold himself together. “Sweets, you might be broken, but mosaics are some of the most beautiful pieces of work.”  
This time Jake doesn’t pull away when you kiss him. His arms wrap around your waist, grasping at your form in any way, and needing to pull you into him. To consume you whole, and never let go.  
The kiss is slow and thought out, every move of the lips is like a dance between the two of you. The softness with which you started to kiss is completely forgotten, as your arms wrap around Jake’s neck and pull him in closer. With everything in your being, you hope that those words that you can’t say yet are passing through and that Jake understands.  
Your fingers card through the hair at the base of his neck and tug, and your toes curl at the moan that Jake releases against your lips. A matching moan falls from you, when Jake nips at your bottom lip, before moving from your lips and kissing down your jawline.  
Your head tips back in delight and your eyes roll closed, overwhelmed with Jake, but also needing more. The whine that leaves your lips as Jake pulls away is loud and causes Jake to smirk down at you. Causing the blush on your cheeks to deepen, and the warmth from your face slides down, burning into your skin like a wildfire consumes the brush.  
Jake’s breath pants out against your lips, unsteady as he leans his forehead against your own. His hands rub up and down your arms, squeezing gently as they go, and his eyes watch you. Patiently waiting to see if you’ll pull away, or if you wanted this just as much as he did.  
Jake finds no trace of doubt in your mind, you still weren’t his bubbly girl, that teased and poked at him, but you were here. 
Here with him, and no longer pulling away.  
“Darlin’ we need to get you in the shower,” His hand comes up to brush along your brow, before placing a kiss where his thumb had just been. “You go and relax, wash everything down the drain, and I’ll find a movie for after.”  
The thought of a shower sounded like heaven, your skin had gotten slightly sticky after the cold sweat that broke out across your body, but you didn’t want to leave Jake right now. You couldn’t leave Jake right now; you were sure that your body and mind wouldn’t allow it.  
“Want you.” The statement is so quiet and simple, but the way you look at Jake makes him easily complaint. 
“I know sweets, but you need to wash up. I promise after you get out, that you can have me all you want.”  
“No,” You’re stubborn and for a moment Jake expects you to stomp your foot, “I want you to come with me, don’t wanna be away from you.” 
His eyes watch you, waiting for you to realize what you’re asking for, then to backtrack, but you don’t. Your eyes stay firmly on him, waiting for him to answer.  
“Sweets, you want me to come in the shower with you?”  
A nod against his chest is the only answer Jake gets before you pull him with you toward the bathroom. You couldn’t understand it, but deep within you, you need Jake next to you. Not just in the house, but his skin on yours, constantly touching.  
It might have been needy of you and moving way too fast, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care.  
Jake shuts the door behind both of you and reaches into the shower to turn it on. Your form stays stationed in the middle of the bathroom, and you watch his movements with a slight pout. You had never been the type that liked to be babied, but all you wanted was for Jake to take care of you. To focus all of his attention on you, and you, alone.  
You follow his movements around the bathroom, the stretch of the white tee shirt against his back has a heat pooling in your core. One that most defiantly shouldn’t be there, not at a time like this, when you had been bawling for the past twelve hours. But the way in which Jake tied his flight suit around his waist and with his usually perfect hair is a mess, from Jake raking his hand through it, sets off a deep need within you.  
“Sweets, you need to get naked if you’re getting in.” The glance over his shoulder stops the teasing tone in its tracks. Jake's words fail him, as he sees the look in your eyes. It’s the same one that you had when you got drunk and kissed him. He knew that look and lord, it was going to take all of his strength not to take you.  
A groan falls from his lips, as you lift your arms and mutter out a ‘you’ to him. You stay still, waiting for him to come to you and comply with your demand. He walks towards you so slowly that you think you may burst, though when Jake’s hands find your hips, the hum you give him in return is enough of a go-ahead for him to pull the shirt from your body.  His eyes never leave your own, though your chest slightly heaves in anticipation of being with Jake like this. So bare and exposed, in more ways than the literal sense. 
Your hair is a mess upon your head, the strand falling around your face with the removal of your shirt. Jake's hand comes up to brush a few strands from your face before his palm finds home on your cheek again and his thumb creases over your lips.  
It’s soft and delicate, he’s trying to be the perfect gentleman with you. Though it’s like you’ve lost complete control of your body, and even if you wanted to stop it, which you don’t, you couldn’t. As Jake smooths his thumb over your bottom lip for the last stroke, your lips slip open, and you take his thumb into your mouth. Your lips close around him, eyes fluttering closed, and suck.  
“Fuck”  
The curse is enough for your eyes to open, though you don’t release his thumb. As your eyes flutter up to meet his piercing green ones, you scrap your teeth gently over the pad of his thumb, then suck again to soothe it.  
The grunt that echoes through the steamed bathroom makes your toes curl, and as you pull your mouth off Jake, the sweetest smile graces your face, your bottom lip bitten and yet so innocent.  
“Hi.”  
The straps of your bra slip from your shoulders, and while holding the front to you, you reach behind you to flick the band open. The sound has Jake’s eyes moving down momentarily before he corrects himself and stares into your eyes.  
“Darlin’.”  
The warning tone only makes you giggle, as you drop the bra to the ground, and take a step closer to Jake, tugging at his white shirt.   “Maybe you should take the shower alone, Sweets.” 
Jake's eyes settle on the wall just above your head, his hands no longer sit at your hips, but clenched in fists at his sides. The smile on your face instantly drops at his words, your hands move to cover your chest, and you instantly feel unwanted once again. You shake your head, appalled at your stupidity. You've clearly taken it too far when you didn't mean to, and you can feel yourself shrink back. Embarrassed about how you've just acted and wishing that you were just invisible. 
“I'm really sorry, I just –” the words catch in your throat and make you feel even more pitiful. “I don't know what came over me. I just needed you…” you stutter slightly tripping over your words, and as Jake lifts your chin to look at him the tears fall.  
“Oh, sweetheart.”  
Jake steps forward to pull you into his chest though before he can grab you, you're stepping back, and a flash of hurt crosses his face. 
“I can't talk when you're holding me, you make me feel things and everything gets all discombobulated in my head.” 
Jake only relaxes slightly, as he moves back to lean against the door and gives you as much space as possible. His brow furors and the lines on his forehead crease, a clear indication that his mind is running wild, just as fast as yours.  
“I needed you… I need you. It’s this deep ache in my chest, one that I need you to fix, but I don’t know how. Things happened; he did things that are still burned into my skin, I can still feel him, and I hate it.”  
If you hadn’t been so hyper-aware, you would have missed the way Jake stiffened. Not at your need for him, but when you mention Adam and what happened.   
“Sweets, if I could erase everything that he did to you I would. You’ve no idea how bad I want to kill him–” 
Jake cuts himself off before he can be consumed with rage and moves toward you again. This time you don’t move and welcome the hand that comes to brush against your cheek. Your eyes fall shut, as Jake wraps you in his arms and tucks you safely into his chest. 
“I don’t know how to be loved, Jake.” Your voice is muffled into his shirt, but he still hears you.  
“I know, Sweets.”  
The hand tracing up and down your spine never falters, though the words aren’t what you want to hear.  
“No Jake, I don’t know how.” You pull back from him so that he can see the desperation, and need in your eyes. “But I… I want to love you.”  
“Okay, then let me take the pain. Please darlin’. Let me replace all of those bad memories and those feelings that are burned into your skin. Baby please, just let me erase the pain.”  
“And tomorrow, we can talk about everything else.”  
Without a second thought, your head nods, wanting nothing more than for Jake to encase you completely. You needed him to replace the pain and ghost of unwanted hands; to be the remedy to your broken shell.  
The hand grasping at your back moves up, slowly tracing your bare skin and memorizing every dip and divot. As if it was the first time that Jake had ever touched you, had ever truly got to breathe you in. Your breath only picks up slightly, as your forehead rests against his chest, and quiet pants fall from your lips and into his chest. The both of your breaths sync in pace, as goose bumps line your skin.  
Your once-dormant hands rise and grip onto Jake's white shirt. You twist the material in your hands, and it strains across Jake’s chest, the conscious part of your brain grasping at anything to ground yourself. Though the ghost of his lips over your neck, has a whimper leaving your lips as your head dips back and exposes your neck to Jake. 
The drag of Jake’s nose against your neck has your toes curling. His breathing, is hot against your neck as he litters it with delicate kisses, pausing occasionally to place open-mouth kisses on your pulse point.  
Though the kisses are sweet, the occasional nip of his teeth confirms that he is leaving marks along his path. Though you can’t find it in yourself to tell Jake to stop, even if it was against work policy, you would never stop Jake from marring your skin.  
No, these ones you wanted. You craved the way in which they healed you.  
Your need to touch Jake is no longer fulfilled by the soft cotton wrapped tightly around your hands. You tug up on the fabric, and Jake's tan skin peeks out as a tease, taunting you. Though Jake is quick to tug his shirt up and off when a whine falls from your lips.  
Jake watches as your hands make contact with his stomach muscles, and a soft smile forms on your face as you trace the ridges. The sharp breath Jake sucks in when you trace along his pant line, causes you to giggle and trace along his v-line once more.  
The light filling your eyes as you glance back up to Jake has his heart clenching. The steam of the shower surrounds you both and your hair is slightly damp, sticking to your face in places. It was too early, too fast, for Jake to utter that four-letter word to you, but he’d never been more sure than in that moment.  
The smile creasing your face only widens, when Jake’s hands slip up to your cheeks. Cupping them and tugging you up slightly, as he dips to meet your lips in a passionate kiss. Only pulling back when you both have to gasp for breath, though neither of your gazes leaves the other.  
The green of Jake’s eyes had never appeared so bright as they did now, resting against each other’s foreheads and inhaling the importance of each other’s presence. The kiss that Jake brushes against your brow, is more than enough to confirm that the feeling you share is real. That for once, you both are exposing yourselves completely and surrendering, only to be met with a returned passion, one that could no longer be hidden.  
“My girl.”  
The statement is muttered against your lips, as one of Jake's hands comes up to trace patterns along your cheek. Though you had heard Jake say it about you an endless number of times, this one wasn’t just a statement, but a defined claim over your mind, body, and soul.  
“Yours, for as long as you want me.”  
“Darlin’ I want you for eternity, and then some.”  
… 
You couldn’t remember how either of you got out of the rest of your clothes and into the shower, but the cascade of warm water against your back has you melting. Your hand remains intertwined in Jake's hair, gives a slight tug, and has Jake falling into the water with you. Your lips never separate, as you relinquish all control over to Jake, and the dip of his tongue into your mouth has your toes curling.  
Jake’s hands slowly wander, no longer held by the confines of your clothing, and adamant about familiarizing himself with every part of you. The ghost of his fingertips sliding up between your thighs, has a gasp falling from your lips. The sound is devoured by Jake’s lips, as he grazes your heat, teasingly tracing and collecting your slick. Before he finds purchase on your clit and rolls the nub in gentle figure eights.  
Your head falls back against the tile, disconnecting your lips as the pleasure consumes you, and you find a smirking Jake watching you. Words try and form on your lips, though the increase of speed, only has incoherent mumbles bubbling from your chest. Your body tenses against the wall, the extension of your toes has you rising, and Jake settles an arm around your waist, pulling you flush against his body.  
You hadn’t been intimate with anyone since Adam, and as you watch Jake, you’re thankful that you finally coming apart is at his hands. The green of his eye’s never wavering from your own, as your breathing becomes erratic and the one hand around your waist rises to crease your cheek.  
“I’ve got you, Sweets. Let go.”  
You hadn’t realized you needed it, but the reassurance from Jake has you crashing into the waves. A gasp and partial cry leave your chest and has you grasping onto Jake. Your hands shake as you grasp onto his shoulders, the hand that had been between your legs wraps around you and tugs you fully into his chest.  
Your tears mix with the water as it washes over the both of you, and Jake's hold tightens on you as he feels your chest shake against his own. You can’t get close enough to him, and as you nuzzle into Jake’s neck, he notices your slight whimpers. His hands slip from your waist and tap lightly at your butt, a silent request that you happily comply with.  
Your arms wrap tightly around Jake's neck, as he holds you as if you weigh nothing, before turning the shower off. You pull back from the comfort of his neck and receive a sweet gentle kiss, your lips crease each other and work in slow tandem.  
Pulling back from the kiss, you giggle slightly as Jake peppers kisses across your cheeks and nose. He only stops when a full laugh falls from your chest and you beg him to stop. The cheeky smirk that he gives you warms your heart, and you decide that it’s one of your favorite looks on Jake.  
Jake easily removes you both from the shower, never faltering as he heads back into your room and delicately sets you on the bed. He moves to grab you a towel, though you don’t miss the fact that he is excruciatingly hard. The fact isn’t hidden well when Jake shows up with a towel now around his waist and wraps another around you.  
Your hand creeps up to rest at the top of Jake's towel and give it a tug, as his form stands over you, while you kneel on your bed. A light chuckle bubbles from Jake, and his free hand comes to cup your cheek, lovingly tracing tiny patterns.  
“We’ve got plenty of time for that, Sweets. Right now, I just want to hold my girl.”  
You nuzzle into his hands and place a kiss in the palm, before glancing back up and only finding love in Jake’s eyes.  
“Thank you.”  
No reply is given to you, other than a soft kiss and Jake crawling into your bed, pulling you up with him to lay against his chest. His arms wrap around you, and the warmth of his body relaxes you, like an invisible shield of protection.  
“Sleep darlin', I’m home.”  
 For the first time in eight months, you slept peacefully through the night; nightmares and memories evading you completely.  
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wanderersbell · 1 year
Note
If requests are still open , how about the reader inviting Scara to their teapot (could be traveling companion reader who also owns a teapot, but do whatever you want, i love your ideas!!!) and the reader furnished an entire room for him? it's suited to his likes too :o tysm!!
a realm for him
wanderer x gn! reader
genre: fluff
warnings: none
word count: 2528
a/n: okay listen i may have gotten a bit carried away with this and made it way longer and sappier than i was intending, but i spent forever decking out my whole teapot for him so i loved this idea sooo much (❁´◡`❁) tysm for the wonderful request, enjoy!
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getting the state of your teapot to be as lively as it is now was no small feat. 
day by day for weeks on end, you’ve slowly worked at filling each empty corner with little towns and lush scenery, all of which are based off of your traveling companions favorite spots in sumeru. one island is reminiscent of a small fishing village, fenced off and framed by local shrubbery and flora, as well as some small crop gardens already growing with tiny seedlings. the second island is decorated as a beautiful scenic forest, with trees and plants and gazebos and fountains all connected by a subtle stone path that lead through to the third island. 
and the third island, after much contemplation, is decorated as a tiny inazuman shrine, bordered with towering cherry blossom trees and eye catching blue glowing flowers that create an almost mystical ambiance. you weren’t sure if reminding him of the place where he came from was a good idea, but figured having a small piece of home away from home might be the one way he can actually enjoy the view of inazuma. the sights here are much different from what he saw in tatarasuna, much more welcoming, so you figured it was worth a shot and swore to yourself that you would take it down immediately if he doesn’t like it. 
and, your personal favorite part is the main building decorated as a tea shop on the inside, with a tasteful mix of interior inspiration from every region you’ve visited thus far, all mushed together to create an eclectic little space for him to come and enjoy the different teas you’ve started collecting in secret. 
in fact, all of this was a secret. the wanderer had yet to catch on to the actual reason behind your insistence to collect extra materials while you travel together, and the time you spent in your teapot was time he spent off running errands and assisting lesser lord kusanali, so nothing was out of the ordinary as far as he was concerned. 
but, after a few finishing touches like street lamps and wildlife to make everything feel less lonely, you were finally done. it was finished. every square inch of your teapot fully furnished with things you couldn’t wait to show the one you had in mind when doing it all. 
when the time comes for you to finally bring him there, you’re way more nervous than you were expecting to be. what if he doesn’t like? hates it, even? what if your design choices are wrong and the vibes are off and-
“well,” the wanderer’s voice drags you out if your thoughts, smooth and grounding. “are we going in or what? how does this thing even work?”
right, it’s too late to turn back anyways. the golden teapot hovers in the air between you from where you stand on a riverbank together, and the man next to you has his arms crossed with an unimpressed frown as he waits for you to respond. it’s cloudier than usual today, the sky a soft shade of gray in the background, and you shiver a bit both because of nerves and the lack of sunlight before clearing your throat. 
“it uh- transports me in as soon as i open the lid. just…” you trail off, contemplating whether or not you want to say anything before you bring him in. “just grab onto my hand so we’ll both go together.” you blurt out instead. it would take you both in regardless, but this was the first excuse out of your mouth, and you want to curl up and become invisible at the odd look he gives you. he can tell you’re up to something, but hasn’t figured out what quite yet. 
“okay.” he agrees easily, slotting his hand against yours. his skin is cool to the touch and his grip firm, and you’re reaching out to rip the lid off of the teapot before you can start thinking too much about the way it makes your heart jump into your throat. the both of you are transported to the inside of the device in the blink of an eye, arriving right before the main building where tubby dozes away inside of her own pot. 
his first thought it that it’s… big. bigger than he was expecting. his eyes automatically go to the structure behind him and he wordlessly goes to grab the handle of the door but you’re quick to tug the back of his shirt to stop him, shaking your head softly when he turns to give you a questioning look. 
“we’ll do this last, let’s go take a walk first.” 
his eyes follow yours in the direction of the other islands that are just visible in the distance. he can’t make out any details yet, much to your relief. 
“what’s out there?” he asks with poorly concealed interest while following you down the steps of the building and towards the first island. you give him a sly smile that you hope masks the way you’re freaking out on the inside. 
“you’ll see.”
he raises a brow at this but stays silent. this island is the small fishing village, based off of the one you both visit regularly, the one where you first met the mysterious wanderer and your journey with him began. he feels a sense of familiarity as you lead him over to the straw hut in the middle, noticing the crop gardens off to the side and giving an approving hum at the sight. 
you watch him closely the entire time, zeroing in on every minuscule change in his expression and feeling your chest swell with pride at the way his eyes soften. he can’t help but to remember the day he met you, the way you would flat out ignore him every time he tried making a dig at you then turn around and be as sweet as ever to the local kids at the village, and he has to bite back a fond smile at the memories. 
“well?” you peer up at him hesitantly. it’s more than obvious that he likes it as he looks around like he’s already trying to familiarize himself with where everything is, but still, you want to hear him say it. 
“well?” he parrots, meeting your expectant eyes. he pretends to think for a moment, just to leave you hanging for a bit longer, and then, “it’s nice, but there’s no fish.”
you instinctively frown and open your mouth to tell him to stop being so picky but pause just as the first word dies on your lips. with a sinking feeling of realization, you look around you and confirm that yes, there is indeed no body of water, therefore no fish. 
“oh.” you say dumbly, and the stumped look on your face has a laugh bubbling up in his chest. you can’t fight back the smile that creeps up on you even though he’s laughing at your expense and give him a lighthearted shove before leading him away to the next island. 
“how did you manage to forget the most crucial part of a fishing village?” the wanderer teases, catching up to you in a few long strides. 
“i didn’t forget, that’s just not a furnishing option in here.” you explain. 
when you reach the second island, you remain quiet again and wait for him to take it all in and make a comment himself. his eyes widen a fraction in awe as you both step underneath the canopy of trees and wildlife, the bright colors of flora and fauna and the blue accents on the towering gazebos on each side all working together to make a botanical haven that he can’t tear his attention away from. 
within only moments of being in there he’s already spotted a handful of his favorite plants and flowers, ones with meanings that stuck with him throughout his life, ones that you held onto and remembered and planted here. 
you watch with baited breath as he absentmindedly reaches a hand out to brush his fingers against the low hanging leaves beside him, eyes flitting from place to place and noticing something different each time. there’s a look akin to childlike wonder on his face, and when his attention finally falls back to you there’s a tiny genuine smile playing at his lips that makes you ache to reach out and hold him. 
he’s so, so beautiful standing underneath of the lush trees and flowers, and unbeknownst to you, as he holds your gaze, he’s thinking the same thing in return. your excitement to bring him here and show him this leaves him with a warm feeling blooming in his chest, an appreciation for you that he fears he’ll never be able to properly express. 
“ready to keep going?” you ask softly, as if speaking too loudly will ruin the peaceful atmosphere. 
“there’s more?” the look of surprise on his face has you chuckling breathlessly while you continue the path forward. 
this is the part you’ve been looking forward to and anticipating the most, and as the final island comes into view, you can feel him stiffen beside you. the giant cherry blossom trees are visible even from the distance, but his step doesn’t falter and he keeps up next to you so you take it as a sign to keep going. 
his presence beside you stays strong as you approach the shrine and step into the field of glowing flowers, and you watch out of the corner of your eye as he takes in the familiar pink trees and red painted wood with a complicated emotion swirling around in his irises. he doesn’t look angry though, so you finally feel your shoulders relax and allow yourself to enjoy the scenery as you walk along the path. 
in his own head, the wanderer is… puzzled. this island is so out of place inside of your sumeru themed teapot, and yet, the care and effort you put into it makes the other ones small in comparison. the shrine is grand, sleek, and high quality. the trees are placed perfectly so that the breeze carries soft pink petals down with it, dancing around you two in a beautiful airborne waltz. 
the flowers, the same ones that grow in chinju forest, cast everything in a gentle azure glow, one that when he looks at you is reflecting an ethereal light over your features. somewhere deep down inside of him, he feels a bit of sorrow clinging onto him, bringing with it the memories of a place he left behind long ago. 
but next to that is the all consuming feeling of happiness that he tries so hard to convince himself he doesn’t feel when he’s with you. in this special place of yours, filled with your hard work and thoughtfulness, he can no longer deny himself the truth of how wholeheartedly he cares for you. you, who’s staring back at him with a kindness he’s never known as you give him new memories to associate with the sights of his homeland.  
you still can’t decipher the emotions on his face, but you can tell they’re good ones and that he’s contemplating something deeply, so you let the silence hang comfortably in the air as you walk side by side all the way back to the entrance and to the main building, the part you’ve been saving for last. he says nothing the whole way back, granting you the chance to appreciate the comfort something as simple as walking with him brings you. 
when you finally make it to the main island and ascend the steps of the building, he snaps out of his reverie and raises a brow at you questioningly. “what’s inside?”
“it’s nothing much,” you lie with a mischievous smile adorning your face. when you open the door and let him in he realizes he really, truly has fallen hopelessly for you. 
it’s a tea shop. for him.
there’s no denying it, there’s no other explanation he can give himself because he knows you don’t care much for tea. that means-
this whole teapot, every single island, was for him.
you watch with a huge grin on your face as the wanderer splutters and blushes when it all finally hits him. nobody has ever done this much for him, not without a price at least, but you never ask for anything in return from him so he’s almost literally short circuiting while trying to figure out the proper response. 
“why did you- what…” he takes a grounding breath before trying again. “why do all of this?”
you smile softly and shrug. “because i wanted to.”
he opens his mouth to say something else, likely to prod you for a legitimate reason as to why, but you cut him off before he gets the chance. “look around first, i want to know what you think.”
he wants to argue, but bites his tongue at the clear eagerness on your face and clicks his tongue in fake annoyance as he takes in the contents of the room. he walks around for a few minutes, observing the things on the walls and shelves, scrutinizing the chinaware, poking the souvenirs you’ve collected from other regions, until finally he stops at the cabinet that houses the tea collection. 
“open it.” you say hurriedly. he gives you a fake suspicious raise of his brow but complies and tugs the door of the cabinet open, a sharp intake of air following immediately afterwards as he instantly recognizes the labels. 
“this is…” he trails off in disbelief. 
“the tea from the shop you keep staring after longingly in sumeru city? yep, sure is.” you confirm mirthfully, skipping over to stand next to him and watch him take a container down to turn around in his hands. he’s struggling to process this, to accept this much kindness from you when he knows he doesn’t deserve it, not in the slightest, but the proud gleam in your eyes doesn’t get lost to him and he knows you’re anxiously awaiting his response. 
“i don’t know why you would bother with this, and go through all of this effort,” he starts tentatively, placing the tea back in the cupboard so he can turn to fully look at you. “but i can acknowledge the work you put in and promise i will put it to good use.”
your expression falls slightly at his formal tone of speech. “and?”
he frowns hesitantly and averts his eyes. “and… i like it. or whatever. it’s really nice.”
your triumphant grin is almost blinding when he meets your gaze again and he shakes his head in silent exasperation. though he doesn’t know how, or when it’ll happen, he swears to himself that somehow, someway, he’ll repay you for this. he’ll find a way to show you how much it really means to him, how much you really mean to him. 
but for now, sitting together in your shared realm with some freshly steeped tea, for the first time in centuries, he feels at home. 
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danikamariewrites · 8 months
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Hi! Can you write a one shot (hopefully on the longer side) where reader is just struggling with anxiety and depression and Cassian is comforting her? TIA!
Fix You
Cassian x reader
A/n: hi anon! I was in the mood to write this one. I had a bad day and was feeling depressed today so it was nice to imagine Cassian taking care of me while writing this. So if you’re feeling depressed know you’re not alone and if anyone ever wants to talk my dms are open :)
Warnings: angst, mental health struggles, anxiety, depression (I didn’t proof read this so I’m sorry for any typos)
A few weeks ago you felt your depression creep in again. But there was no way you were about to have a depression episode. You and Cassian were happy. There was nothing really to stress about, your work load had increased a little but nothing you couldn’t handle.
So you pushed it down. Kept fighting your thoughts and just kept breathing. Everything was fine. Cassian didn’t suspect anything and you wanted to keep it that way. You hated feeling like a burden to him. It made you feel anxious that he would take time off of work to stay with you.
Cassian always said he didn’t mind, but a little voice in your mind told you he did mind and hated you for it. You did love that he was so willing to take care of you. No one in your life had ever been there for you like Cassian has.
All day you felt mentally exhausted. Your social battery was drained and your depressive episode was winning. You were going to fight it for Cassian and for yourself. You were supposed to be getting ready to go to Rita’s tonight with everyone but all you could do was zone out while staring at your reflection in the mirror.
You weren’t focused on imperfections, you just hated how tired you were. The bags under your eyes seemed deeper, more purple. Blinking at your reflection you felt the ache of tears build behind your eyes and that all too familiar lump form in your throat.
Closing your eyes for a few seconds you open them and let your tears flow. You felt insane for just staring at yourself with a blank face while you silently cried. It was better to let it out at home than at Rita’s surrounded by your friends.
You don’t know how long you stood there just watching yourself cry. It had to have been a while because Cassian finally knocked on the bathroom door. He didn’t wait for you to respond to come in. “Y/n?” “Yeah.” Your voice cracks and sounds far away from your body.
Cassian turns you to face him, cupping your face in his hands. His thumbs wipe away your tears as he looks at you, really looks at you like he’s searching for the answer to an unspoken question. “Is it bad again?” Your face scrunches and you begin to sob. You nod, burying your face in Cassian’s chest.
He holds you close to him before picking you up to carry you to bed. You didn’t realize he was already dressed to go out and your guilt for making him stay home made you cry harder.
Cassian jumps on the bed sitting against the headboard. He pulls into his lap and you curl into him continuing to sob. He rubs slow soothing circles on your back and gently rocks you back and forth.
You ended up crying yourself to sleep. Cassian tucked you in laying next to you. He lightly held your fingers he watched you sleep. He let out a sigh of relief knowing your mind had a break for a few hours.
Cassian always felt guilty when you got like this. He felt like a failure for missing all of the signs you were falling into a depression. He liked that he was the person you could go to, so why didn’t you come to him for help this time?
You jolted awake the next morning. Rubbing at your puffy eyes you scanned the room for Cassian. Before you could go look for him the door opened and he padded in holding two steaming mugs of tea. “Good morning princess.” He shot you small smile that you tried to return.
“Morning.” He handed you a mug, kissing your forehead. You take it with both hands letting the it warm your frozen fingers. That’s when you noticed the curtains billowing in the morning breeze. “I opened the window last night. You woke up and said you felt like you couldn’t breathe, so I wanted to let some fresh air in.”
You gave Cassian a sad smile. “Thank you.” He sat on top of the covers next to you, his wings trying to relax behind him. You could tell he wanted to talk. “Go ahead Cass. It’s ok, ask me.” You lay a reassuring hand on his knee and he takes a deep breath.
“I’m sorry I didn’t see the signs. And I want you to know that I’m always here for you. You can come to me with these things y/n, please.” Cassians voice breaks a little. You shed a few tears as you curl up in his lap again.
You hugged Cassian tight tucking your face in his neck. “I promise I’ll ask for help next time.” He relaxes and kisses the side of your head. “Good, you’re not alone y/n. I’m here for you my love.”
tags: @nyotamalfoy @auggiesolovey @bubybubsters @baybay123455 @msiecrane @aroseinvelaris @twsssmlmaa
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lu-zo-san · 2 months
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Nothing New
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Summary: You thought loving someone from afar will never go wrong... But how wrong you were
Pairing: Gojo x Fem! Reader, Getou x Fem! Reader
Warnings: Angst, mean Gojo, feeling involved, heartbreak, a storytelling like plot, Getou doesn't die here, cringe story, stupid Gojo, my love Suguru he is an angel and kinda ooc. Gojo is a warning, and bitch ass family here.
Word count: 8.3+k
(A/n) : I tried something new this story is kinda like true and all but I am of course doing some changes do give me a review this is going to be short story a one chapter one maybe idk I have not yet decided. Sorry for the cringe I might have forgotten how to write angst- next part will be maybe in Gojo's pov.
Do not repost! Reblogs and likes are appreciated
1/2
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'What was I thinking... Why did I agree to it.... It's all my fault to ever think someone would love me....'
You walked at the entrance of the school It has been a while since you came back here after all it was the first time you realized here that love was not for you. Your hand reached towards the small pendant you have and you hold it gently like it was a piece of glass that would break easily. As your mind was wandering off somewhere else you heard a call bringing you back from your only thought that has kept you sane.
" You are finally here.. Why does it take someone like Nanami to get you to come here than any higher elder? " Shoko your old friend that you deliberately lost contact with.
"Hm I don't know maybe because I do meet up with him as my-" "Gojo-Sensei!! Stop messing with us" You heard some kid shout.
"He is still here? " You asked her with no emotion, but you didn't wait for an obvious answer you kept walking towards the building with your hand back in your jacket holding your fist hard to control your tremble. "Let's get it over with I am only here because you wanted to do something with my-"
"(Y/n)..?" You heard but that didn't make you stop that time and why will it make you stop now.
[Few Years Ago~]
"If you stare at that window any longer it will break into pieces" Getou said as he sat beside you, "Let it break, maybe finally that old man would do some reconstruction here" You said as you looked at him but your eyes immediately went towards his bruise on his lips which by your instinct you touched it "What happened? Was it during your mission? Weren't you with blue eyes? Can't he even put that stupid infinity thing on you? "
"He can't I mean he doesn't know how he is still learning his technique how can he even do that and it's nothing it's good to see you are worried about me" He grinned like an idiot and you pinched his cheek and looked away "Of course I worry we are a team", "Even Gojo?", "No", "Well I tried".
As you both were still speaking Getou eyes trails towards your lips he always was like this listening to you intensely and always his eyes saw how wonderful you are maybe because you are his first love that everything you do makes his heart beat fast.
As you both were speaking suddenly the classroom door slammed open making you both flinch and you were pretty sure you saw Getou's bangs standing up but you both turned your head towards the door to see Gojo with a ugly frown " Don't you have any decency-" "I don't want to talk with likes of you" "What's that supposed to mean bastard?!"
"What is your crush being mean to you? Really (Y/n) did you really think I will ever want you? " Gojo spoke with disgust, you didn't know what to say how he knew was the first thing you wanted to ask but you did know it's impossible for him to know as you did a very good job to hide it and never tell anyone but the way he spoke to you made you feel ashamed.
"Satoru what the hell are you doing how can you talk to her like that!?" Getou spat at him as he moves closer but Gojo gives him a look and says "Did you know that there are some disgusting rumors going on that she likes me? And you know I hate it that wherever I go I get my name being said together with her saying we are a good couple as she is the only one who can go through my infinity it's like making us be as bad as a couple but listening to this is making me vomit! " Gojo finally said as it looked like he was holding on to this thought for a long time.
Getou wanted to kill his best friend for the first time but he knew about these rumors and also he knew about your crush how can he not... You look at Gojo the same way he looks at you. But now he was looking at you he can see the trembling he can see those tears he can see it but he also saw something else... That look that said you are used to it...
But that didn't stop you from walking towards him and slapping him because he had no right to insult you like this... Humiliate you, "It's sad to see you think like that if only those rumors were true but I am glad to know how you actually think of me, maybe it's because it hurts your pride that only I can go through your infinity but who cares let's me warn you Gojo Satoru don't get to talk to me like this and don't fucking give me a reason to make sure Gojo clan to end".
Gojo looked at you with hatred "so you really did get this low huh to think I saw you as a friend even make me shiver-" "WHAT!! What did I do.. To make you feel this disgusted towards me!! " "Your whole existence of knowing you like me romantically"
'Those words hurt so much... Why.. Why is my heart hurting so much why why why why is it wrong for me to love... Why can't I feel love why he had to be so cruel why why I never even told him that I did like him' your thoughts were going dark once again the same way you felt when your family left you here all alone to be useful for once.
Getou was looking at you both and he hated the fact that he can't come in between you both he wanted to defend you and he knows he would have if you didn't held his hand when Gojo first started to talk shit to you, everything was going good but why it suddenly turned like this he didn't know why his first best friend is hurting his first love why he is doing this he knows Gojo like back of his hand and he knows he would never go this low just because he heard some rumors.
There was always one thing he never understood why is Gojo suddenly reacting like this didn't he also- "sorry... I.. Will... *sign* I gotta go" You said suddenly and left without even bothering to get your stuff. "(Y/n)..! " Getou tries to hold your hand but Gojo held his shoulder "You don't need to comfort the likes of her-" "Mind your tongue Gojo! Fuck why are you so worked up about that and what's wrong with you!! You were never like this-" "Well I am now don't get involved with her, her family-" "I don't fucking care about her family I care about her she is our friend why did you do that- fuck it doesn't matter anymore what's done is done" Getou gathers your belonging and walks out of the classroom leaving Gojo all alone with his thoughts.
Your hands were trembling when you finally sat down 'why is this happening what did I ever do to be felt like this way-' "(Y/n)!? You in there? It's me Suguru open the door love... " You heard a knock, a desperate one, you managed to wipe all the tears and looked at the mirror to see if you look like a mess or not but the constant knocking distracted you to look and you opened the door immediately after it.
A gasp from your mouth left when you where tackle in hug, a tight hug, Suguru's hug which you always loved you didn't know why but his hug made you feel warm and happy and loved, so you held onto his hug "what are you doing Getou-", " Comforting you what else ", " Why? Your best friend just humiliated me, and you are here comforting me why? ", " Since when did you started to ask stupid questions-" "I don't ask-", " Shhh, just stay like this okay I really don't know what's wrong with Satoru but he was never like this trust me okay I- *ding*, is that your phone? ", " Hmm, will see it later, and I don't wanna hear about him anymore it's all done, I am not interested anymore I don't wanna get involved with him any longer I rather be with Nanami and Haibara", "What about me? ", " You are fine".
Then there was silence but for Getou his heart was beating like a drums fast and loud he knows this is not the time to think but he can't help it, maybe he is selfish. You let him hold you, you always do he know you love his hugs after all he does hug you with all the love he has for you.
"My heart hurts but I feel like it's going to be okay soon and I will be back to normal again.... I want it to go back things as it was again... A normal day where I have fun again, laugh again, and feel wanted and useful again.. " You said against his chest it's like your heavy heart couldn't bare anymore weight that you finally said it to him.
"Love is so complicated... I don't know why I am so desperate for it... I always find a way to feel love but in the end I find a dead end always do... Is it that Love is not for me Getou...? " You asked him not expecting him to answer. You sounded so done I mean who wouldn't, one thing you were goofing around with Getou and next thing you know you were humiliated but someone you once liked.
"Love is complicated... But if you find in wrong things of course they will hurt you..." Getou said as he strokes your hair lovingly and softly sat you down and laid on your bed with you still in his arms.
"Sleep it off maybe it's all just a nightmare or a dream you are scared off" He said he did his best to comfort you well at least he tried and you knew Getou is not someone with good comforting words his actions are good but really not words so you laughed a small yet heartfelt laugh you have him making him smile and blush after all he is in love with you.
And next thing you know you were sleeping with him and this was the first time you feel deep in sleep not caring what the next day was going to bring you.... Or say How Gojo became your nightmare.
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[Back to Present~]
Principal Yaga was still speaking while you were scrolling through your phone.
"(Y/n), are you even listening? " Yaga spoke Irritatedly.. "Why would I? You are still asking me about where is he when you all decided to forgive him you know how hard it for me to leave my house just to listen to you all talking nonsense" You stood up you were not going to wait here but you did see Gojo wanted to speak but you were not going to let him.
"Listen you forgave him and why can't you talk to him directly not like he will talk to you or anything after all my husband is busy with our kids" You said with a glare firmly indicating you and your husband Getou Suguru does not want to get involved with Curses and Sorcerer anymore.
"Then why are you here? " Gojo finally spoke for the first time you saw him trembling for some reason was it because it was the first time he heard about us or was it because after his fucked up plan that ruined you years ago has left him heart broken since now or let's say after you left he realize that he indeed loved you.
"I am here because I heard Nanami will also be here and he called me and I did wanted to give him gift that our kids created for their uncle" You said holding up a package.
"Since everything is done I am leaving my only family is waiting for me" You said with a smile that very smile you gave to Gojo when he saw you standing in front of the dead body the very family you hated.
It was you who killed your own clan... All because of Gojo Satoru... Because he gave you an option
A) Go back to the family and leave jujitsu high and get killed
B) Or kill off your Clan and those twins and Suguru will be left alone from punishment.
And you choose Him the one who from the beginning loved you and only you
Getou Suguru, you one and only love.
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Text
Keep Thinking About Gale x Single Mom!Tav
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A/N: Shout-out to @leighsartworks216 for letting me ramble to them about it. I just need to get all this stuff rattling around in my brain out.
I know, I know, Gale repeatedly says he's not father material, but have you considered that I want him to be a dad anyway and it's cute
So in my brain this single mom is named Gwen (Guinevere); a half-elf, wild magic sorceress
She came from a fairly well to do family, married a handsome and acceptably rich merchant and soon had a child on the way
Problems came when she gave birth to a healthy baby girl, who also happened to be a teifling
Seen as a bad omen, both her family and husband wanted her to give up the child, she refused causing her husband to leave her and her family to reject her
She didn't let that stop her though and soon she found a new home for her and Clara
Over the next eight years she worked hard to build a life for herself and make sure Clara never doubted for a moment she was loved
Gwen knew the world would be hard on her girl, so she made a point to build up her confidence and teach her it's never wrong to fight back when people are treating you unfairly; you can't take that shit lying down
Blunt and a bit intense, Gwen has seen and done plenty of shit and thought she finally had a handle on her life; and then she got kidnapped by illithids
Still haven't played the game, so I can't give a play by play of every interaction, but I do know early game she would be a bit distracted
Obviously her first goal is to figure out if her daughter is okay so it frankly is the only thing on her mind until she gets her hand on a sending scroll or something like it
Only after does she confirm that Clara is safe and with people she trusts can she focus on the task at hand
Takes a liking to Gale basically from the word go; he's respectful, he know hows to cook, he keeps making comments about his tongue, there is only so much a woman can handle
Gods know it has been a while since she's gotten laid
He starts rambling about magic and she can't not fuck him
Gale is hesitant at first because first the orb, second Gwen has made no secret she had a child and Gale doesn't see himself as father material, and three because he does really, really like her and doesn't want to make promises he can't keep
I'd say they're able to meet Clara before they head come to Baldur's Gate so Gale and the rest can meet her earlier; and to give Gwen some peace of mind
Clara is a very curious and headstrong, both of which Gale can appreciate; he can see why Gwen was so determined to get back to her, which only makes him admire her more
Also, quick aside about the rest of the companions; Wyll and Karlach would be ready to baby sit at any given moment, Lae'zel admires the child's fighting spirit and absolutely gifted her a sword, Shadowheart enjoys her more mischievous tendencies, and Astarion is classic wine aunt who hates all kids except Clara (he's been helping her stage of coup of the swing set)
Eventually feelings are confessed between Gale and Gwen leading to a proper relationship (and Gwen actually getting laid)
Gwen is absolutely not having it with him trying to blow himself up or becoming a god
Mystra: You must destroy yourself and the orb. Gale: Alright, let me ask Gwen. Mystra: No, that's not--. Gale: She said no.
Once everything is said and done, I'm going back and forth on if they would settle in Waterdeep
Clara has friends and it would be hard to ask her to leave, but I think Gale could compromise and get a position at a different magical university closer by
Either way, Gale settles into the domestic life rather nicely and dives head first into being the best father to Clara he can be
He absolutely devours every parenting book he can get his hands on, only to throw it all out the window once he's actually in it; Gwen did warn him, but old habits and all that
Probably waits a little longer to actually get married to see how they all function as a family together first; plus he wants to properly ask Clara if she's okay with him marrying her mother
I've got other random thoughts, but that about covers it for now, if you want to know more, feel free to drop an ask! I'm up for anything.
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stafyliaa · 8 months
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"Miles it's me!"
Prowler!Miles x Spiderhero!Reader (gender neutral)
cw: angst,Jeff being funny,mentions of Jeff death (sorry it's earth 42 😭),tears,no comfort (maybe there will be on part two) "betrayal" and a big misunderstanding
Hii! This is my first time writing hehehe give me a chance and please be nice :D im gonna do a ending to this fic but it's gonna take a while
I'm more than happy to write requests so don't be shy!!
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You are Miles lover..but you are also the friendly neighborhood Spider hero! While Miles is the Prowler! And the worst..you both didn't know that
But you never thought Prowler was a bad guy,he actually helped people too but- he kinda hates you for some reason
maybe he was jealous of the amount of popularity you have and how you are incredible strong and how your suit was soooo pretty so yeah,who cares about Prowler anyways? He's a douchebag
As for Miles..He is the best!!
He looks like he is trying to poop everytime with that "scary" face of him but he is really sweet and respectful boy
he respects your space and supports your decisions,he is great with gifts (handmade or purchased) and never fails to make you feel especial regardless of anything ♡
You were great friends with his family too! They love you! But, something happened
His dad was captain Morales,he passed away doing his job..being a hero without spider powers or something like that yeah good guy
You remembered that when he was alive he didn't liked the ideia of a masked hero around (another jealous man),but after some events you kinda "worked together" to protect the peace at the city
The Spiderhero and captain Morales protecting our dear Brooklyn! couldn't get better
he enjoyed talking about his son and you can't deny it was fun to see what Miles was like from his father's point of view
"My boy has a beautiful significant other,i consider them as my own child! You know? Don't tell anybody but i kinda get jealous on how much of attention my wife put on them cause like,does she like them more then me?!! That's unacceptable hmfp"
Yeah and things like that was really fun too
But that day you couldn't saved him
You tried.. But unfortunately it didn't worked
Miles was devastated..you felt so guilty every day for not being able to save his dad but you always comforted him whenever he need it and he is very grateful for that
If you thought you were nobody under your hero mask you are sorely mistaken! You are everything to Miles,you are his hero
it's been sometime since that happened and everything seems to be okay
Until now
It was a random night you were patrolling the city when you ended up realizing that you were close to where Miles lived
It wouldn't hurt anyone to take a look would it?
But the last thing you expected to see was this
And this i mean
Prowler on the rooftop at Miles building
[•••]
What if he is planning to hurt Miles? You couldn't let that happen, could you?
You were ready to attack him sneakily but his mask came off
Curious to know who your unbearably annoying enemy is you decided to wait a while
Then..you saw him!Miles Morales was the Prowler,and he wasn't alone..Aaron was with him
You were surprised! Who wouldn't tbh
You decided to stay a little longer to see what he is going to do:
- Miles..we will finally catch that spider,i can feel it.- said Aaron
- Yeah,i can't wait for that Tio (uncle) Aaron
You noticed that Aaron seemed to be hesitant to tell Miles something,then he said:
- Look Miles,they.. could be anyone -you thought to yourself "does he know I'm the spider hero!?-
- What are you trying to say?
- I'm trying to say that - he hesitates one more time - don't forget why we are doing all this ok? Mi hermano (my brother) ..Your dad, está muerto (is dead) because that "hero" couldn't save him,they saved everyone but couldn't bother to save him and - Before Aaron could say more Miles interrupt him
- I know tio,don't worry - his mask returns to his face - esta noche(tonight)..I'm gonna kill that spider
You know what he said
You know what he is planning to do
Miles..the boy you love
Is going to kill you
[•••]
You are on the edge of the building
The only thing keeping you from falling is Prowler
He got his claws ready to kill you
Your heart is beating fast
"I don't want to die! I can't die yet! I don't want to get killed by him! Miles please!"you thought:
- Who are you?
- I... - he moves his claws closer to your face
With his claws he slowly takes off your mask
When he took the mask off you ,tears rolled down from your eyes
That look of fear and your watery eyes
Made Miles heart break
"This wasn't supposed to happen"
Miles thought
"Why is this happening?":
- Miles.. - you said whispering looking at him
Miles is feeling a lot of emotions
He is scared
He is angry
He is confused
And he is sad
Miles face is revealed
You see a tear fall down from his eye:
- Amor.. - you can hear by his voice that he is hurt
He don't want to do this,he can't do this!
But still
Miles doesn't let go of you:
- Miles..look i know why you are doing this! And i swear my love i really tried to save him!
"My love" he loves when you call him that,you always call him with so full of love on your voice that always make he feels warm
But is he feeling warm now that you are calling him? With so much despair trying to prove your point?
He close his eyes for a second and looked away as if he was trying to ignore you:
- Please! The fact that i couldn't save him still hunts me..Look at me Miles
He looked at you
More tears fall down from your eyes:
- The hardest thing about this job is that you can't save everybody..It took me a while to accept this but it's the truth
It took a while to accept this? That made Miles wonders if you even asked to be a hero at all
He loosens his grip a little
You wanted to tell him everything
How much it hurts you to be a hero
But you keep it to yourself:
- I know it hurts Miles,i know you want to kill me but please..Those people - you you looked around - they need me..let me do for them what i couldn't do for you
He moves his claws close to your face
You look deep into his eyes and said:
-Please..if you find a little sympathy in your heart.. forgive me for everything- you said honestly - I love you Miles
you shut your eyes and...
[•••]
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Please be patient cause this fanfic will have a ending!! Thank you for reading ♡
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badaswrld · 5 months
Text
hurts me too
❥ bada x reader
❥ heavy angst, hurt no comfort, depression, severe mental illness, cheating
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🫧
“hey… hey y/n,” you hear while bada is shaking you awake.
“it’s 2 o’clock.” she says.
you sigh and rub your eyes.
“you have to stop staying up so late.”
all you do is nod. you can’t sleep anymore. you can barely do anything anymore. without bada, you wouldn’t eat, you wouldn’t shower, you wouldn’t leave the house.
she sighs in response. “i’m going to teach a class and then go out with friends after, i’ll be home later than normal.”
“ok.” you say, flatly.
she brings her hand to her face and rubs her eyes in frustration. she stands up and starts to leave the bedroom.
“love you,” you say, the sound of the door shutting as your response.
you knew it was getting hard for bada. she had to care for you almost 24/7 as well as herself.
you weren’t you anymore.
when it first started, bada was extremely attentive. she was constantly worried about you, doing everything she could for you, crying for you when she was alone.
as the time went on, she got tired of it, and you understood. you weren’t showing much improvement at all.
there were days when you could get yourself up and out of the house, but most of the time you laid in bed, eyes glued to the tv, ignoring everything around you.
you wanted to be better for her, because you felt her slowly drifting away.
flashback 🫧
“it’s been months, y/n!” bada shouted at you, standing over you while you sat on the couch.
“i just don’t know what to do anymore. i’m trying to help you but nothing has changed.”
you say nothing, just staring back at her with a dead gaze. you looked and felt like a living zombie.
“god, stop looking at me like that, i hate it.” she says, sitting down, holding her head in her hands.
after a couple minutes of silence, you manage to speak.
“i’m sorry…” you whisper, tears building in your eyes.
bada looks up at you then, her gaze immediately softening. you see guilt washing over her face.
she moves to hold you, wrapping her arms around her waist, resting her chin on your head.
“no, i’m sorry. that was mean.” she says, kissing your head.
“i need help.” you say, quietly.
she grabs your face softly. “we’re going to get you help, i promise baby.”
end of flashback 🕊
the therapy wasn’t enough. bada had dragged you out of the apartment twice a week for months now. you had showed a slight improvement, but you still weren’t able to take care of yourself.
you would do anything to feel better, but you couldn’t find it within yourself to fight.
flashback again 🌫
“i just don’t understand what’s going on!” bada yelled. another argument. this was becoming so normal for the both of you.
it was usually just bada yelling while you sat and took it.
“is it me? are you not happy with me?” she asks, her eyes starting to glass over.
you don’t respond.
“will you fucking answer me??” she shouts in frustration.
“i don’t know what’s wrong!!” you finally snap, yelling angrily.
she looks at you shocked, as this was the most emotion you have shown in a while.
“bada, the therapist said it was only a matter of time. we just have to wait, im trying.” you explain, agitated.
she stands up quickly, letting her anger take over.
“how much longer? can you tell me that? i can’t do this for much longer y/n, i mean it.” she says.
when you don’t say anything, she walks to start grabbing her stuff.
“bada, where are you going?” you ask.
“i can’t be here right now. i’ll be back later.” she says, flatly.
“wait, bada please-” you’re cut off by the sound of the door slamming shut.
end of flashback 🌊
you were trying so hard to be better, for yourself and for bada. you loved the days when you felt good, when you could appreciate the beauty of life. but they were few and far between.
at this point, bada only talked to you when she was bringing you food or helping you shower. she had almost completely given up.
you laid in the bed for the rest of the afternoon. it was 11 pm now, and you were hoping bada was having fun. hoping she was getting a break from the burden of yourself. you felt like a parasite latched on to her that just wouldn’t let go.
your thoughts were interrupted by the sound of bada entering the code to your shared apartment.
you sat up, excited to see her. you were in a rare mood where you felt like talking for once. you missed her comfort when she wasn’t there, even if you didn’t talk. she was your home through it all.
she entered the room with a distraught expression on her face, staring at you with guilt in her eyes.
“bada.. what?” you ask, concerned.
you see tears falling down her face.
“i did something bad,” she said, crying.
“god, i really fucked up, y/n,” she says, pacing around the room with her hands on her head.
you were sure it couldn’t be as bad as she was making it seem.
“ok, just tell me,” you say, eager to hear.
“i met a girl at the bar. we started talking and we were both drunk and i…. went back to her apartment.” she said, unable to look at you.
your face fell flat. “did you sleep with her, or just kiss her?” you asked, already knowing the answer, but needing to hear it from her.
“…. i slept with her,” you hear her say through choked sobs. she’s looking at you now, reading your face for a reaction. her cheeks are flushed and her words are slurred, she’s still drunk.
you felt a thousand pounds of weight hit your chest all of a sudden.
she sits on the bed next to you, trying to grab your hand. you quickly move away from her touch.
“i can’t..” you say. she nods.
you both sit there for what feels like forever, crying together.
“i’m gonna throw up,” you say, standing up quickly and running to the bathroom.
you’re shaking and crying on the bathroom floor, waves of nausea hitting you heavily. you feel bada’s hands wrap around your hair, pulling it away from your face as you gag, but nothing comes out. you haven’t eaten all day.
you slump to the wall, pulling your knees to your chest. bada sits next to you, not knowing what to say or do.
after sitting with nothing but the sound of you both sobbing, you finally say something.
“ok.. we can.. fix this.. right?” you choke out, in between hiccups.
“y/n, i don’t think we can-”
“stop. you made the mistake. do you still love me?” you ask, angrily.
she hesitates, but responds. “yes y/n, of course i do.”
“ok, and i still love you. so we can fix this. i don’t care what you did.” you say.
“obviously you do care.”
“i do, but i can’t lose you like this.”
neither of you say anything, and you get up to move to the bed, your body feeling weak and sore all over.
bada follows you, looking at you to speak.
“why are you being like this?” she asks, genuinely confused.
“because i love you, i need you. i cant go on without you, bada,” you’re crying again at the thought of living without her.
“you deserve better than this, than me. i cant believe i did this to you,” she cries.
“shhhh. let’s not talk about it anymore. let’s just sleep.”
you pull her into you under the covers. she’s sobbing into your chest, and you feel weird. you’re the one comforting her this time, even though she hurt you like this.
“it’s okay, just forget about it right now.” you say. you don’t want to talk about it right now while she’s not fully in her right mind.
you rub her back, and you can tell she’s exhausted, physically and emotionally. “i’m so sorry, i’m so sorry..” she finally says.
you comfort her to sleep, and she’s desperately holding on to you like you would leave her the second she let her guard down.
you lie awake, thinking about everything. maybe this was the moment to bring you back to earth. maybe you needed something big to happen in order for you to snap out of it.
you just knew you couldn’t be without her. she was the only one that stayed with you, all your friends becoming distant as you fell farther into depression.
you truly loved her. no matter what. you had already forgiven her. you couldn’t blame her. you had given her nothing for almost a year now. she just felt hurt and lonely.
you weren’t going to let anything happen to the both of you. you knew you had to be strong, stronger than you’ve ever been before. it’s just one mistake.
you fell asleep finally, hugging bada tight. you just couldn’t let her go.
you were struggling, but she was struggling too.
you were determined to fix this once and for all, for both of you.
a/n: i’m fucking crying 🤧🤧🤧 anyways to the person that requested this i hope you like it <3
also i stole a dialogue of this from the dev patel episode of modern love lol
disclaimer: the reader in this is severely mentally ill. she makes this decision based on that. this is just fiction!!
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