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osakasshitpit · 3 years

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I love Final Fantasy XIV

So I’ve been playing Final Fantasy XIV, and after playing for around 180 hours, I haven’t even finished A Realm Reborn. Normally, 180 hours is an insane time frame for a game to manage and hold my attention. Persona 5 Royal was 180 hours of game time, and that was slowly outstaying its welcome. FFXIV must be doing something right, because just recently I went to a convention and bought a Y’shtola Keychain in a heartbeat. I haven’t had time to play XIV a lot prior to this, since I was stupidly grinding Praetorium for days and got burned out. I haven’t played much in 2 months, and Y’shtola only really has a minor role during A Realm Reborn’s Storyline. Despite that, I started in Limsa and Y’shtola stuck with me since then. I just had to buy that keychain. My girlfriend asked me about it and despite me staying away from the game after being burned out, I explained to her in great enthusiasm why I loved Y’shtola and why I loved the game so much. I think that’s the first time I really realized how attached I was to this world, these characters, this game.

I came to FFXIV after having played WoW from Vanilla through WotLK, after having barely ever touched a MMO since quitting WoW. Honestly, I was very skeptical of XIV but holy fucking shit did it ever win me over. They are completely different games, mind you, but that is a good thing in my opinion.

So here is the longest tumblr rant post I have written so far, I think.

To be fair, the first 20 levels or so were kinda slow. You get thrown into the deep end and get bombarded with lore and characters, terms and phrases that you don't understand. For fucks sake, the opening cutscene shows Louisoix fighting Bahamut front and center. Its this big, epic moment of sacrifice, but to someone who has not played 1.0 and who doesn't know anything about the lore, this just zips right past you. During the main story of ARR, they keep talking about Louisoix and how important he is, but you haven't even seen the guy because he died before the game even started. I only really realized this today, it took me 180 hours and a look at the wiki to connect the dots. It really is a slow burn, but that slow burn was okay because everything else was so fantastic.

While the world can arguably be more subdued than Azeroth in parts, there is still this distinctive style that I quickly fell in love with. It’s fantastical, but it still feels grounded. Part of that has to do with how the game introduces you to the world, and how the main story quests explain to you the lore bit by bit. I feel like much of the world design of WoW was down to “the rule of cool”. Now, I’m not saying XIV doesn’t have that, but I feel like XIV always goes the extra mile to explain why this cool shit is here. Everything you see out there in the world feels like it has a purpose, a reason to be there and an explanation on how it works. The factions make sense, the political conflicts you get entangled in are believable. I feel like I am kind of biased to be honest. What got me to play FFXIV in the first place was seeing that Viera are a playable race. I’m a sucker for Final Fantasy, not in short part to my memories of Playing Final Fantasy Tactics and XII. XII is still my favorite game in the series, and much of that has to do with the world, Ivalice. Viera were always my favorite race of the ones seen in Ivalice. Seeing as you can play a Viera in XIV, I just had to try. Thinking about it, XII and XIV have a lot in common when it comes to world building.

One of the weirdest things to acclimate for me was how FFXIV handles story. I was used to WoW, where story was basically non-existent and you did what you did to see numbers rise and to unlock now content you could do. You are basically never involved in the story of WoW, you are just kind of there for the ride. In FFXIV, you are the main character. You are involved in what happens at all times, and that is kinda strange coming from WoW. At first I thought I wouldn’t like it, but the game made it work in my opinion. I also didn’t expect there to be so much of story to begin with. Kind of ironically the moment I realized just how much there was to experience was when I went through Ul’dah and saw a blue quest. Now, blue quest markers mean there is some content you can unlock by doing this quest. A lot of these are kinda short, with a bit of dialogue and some bits of lore for you to enjoy and I thought this one would be no difference. After all, the hook is basically just to help this lady mourn for the death of a friend. What I got was a fabulous detective adventure that spanned over the entire continent, where in I had to help the worlds most manly detective uncover the secret behind a mysterious phantom thief. To say the least, this 21 quest long quest line brought be hours upon hours of joy and had me in stitches throughout. And it was completely optional. I don’t think I even remember a single moment from any quest in WoW that made me this excited for it, optional or otherwise.

Ultimately these are very different games that try very different things.

Dungeons and Raids were a different thing. I remember when I rolled a new character for WotLK and wanted to do karazhan because I used to like doing that raid with my guild back in TBC. I could not for the live of me find a group willing to do it, because everyone was way more focused on the new content, so they could get better gear. Regardless, it just wouldn’t have been the same experience anyways I fear, because the new gear from the new Dungeons outclassed the raid gear from TBC, so karazhan would be way easier and a much different experience. In FFXIV, every dungeon is level synced by default, meaning if a higher level character joins, they get basically downgraded to the level the dungeon was designed for. Couple that with the Duty Roulette feature and suddenly, there was always someone to do any given dungeon with. I remember when I had to do the crystal tower raids and thought “why would they tie main story progression to a raid, I will never find a group to do that properly” but low and behold, I found a group within 30 minutes or less and raided through the entire set of raids within a day. Dungeons and Raids are generally a very pick up and play thing in FFXIV. To be fair, dungeons got easier and more pick up and play in WoW too, but Raids were always the endgame thing where you had to gear up and learn to play. In FFXIV, much more lenient. No corpse walking required. I say this, but I have yet to do the Coils of Bahamut or any Savage Raids. I have only heard that there is plenty of hardcore raid content for those who want that.

That’s nothing to say about the actual gameplay. FFXIV is a tab-target MMO, like so many others, but it manages to keep this kind of gameplay fresh by introducing a lot of mechanics that make the game more active than the typical “I stand here and hit my rotation a lot”. For starters, most enemies have special abilities that you can actually dodge by moving out of the way. There will a area marker on the floor and everyone within that area will be hit. It starts out easy, but later dungeons really start kicking your ass with this mechanic. You really need to say on your toes. In addition, every class is extremely different. They all have special mechanics unique to them, special meters and resources they will have to manage during combat and so on. For example, a Red Mage (the class I’m playing currently), has two meters that fill up as you cast spells. They generally have two types of spells, white and black magic. Each type fills its respective bar. Once they are both full enough, you can go in and do a more powerful melee rotation. However, if one bar is fuller than the other, the other bar will fill up slower. Since you need to fill both, you want to balance that out. You get instant casts for spells after performing a damaging spell, and you have some spells with a short cast time and good damage output that you want to cast and then use the instant cast of to cast a more damaging spell that has a long cast time. But these short cast, good damage spells require a you get from casting a spell of the respective type. So, in essence, you want to balance your use of black and white magic, but you also want to use the proc you get from casting your white and black magic, which means you cast more of the type which inherently unbalances your gauges. It becomes this micromanagement game you play with your procs and instant casts, so you can go in and do the big, flashy sword combo. And that’s just the red mage at around 50. Every class has something like this, and it’s all unique to them. Learning a class is not just learning the rotation and spells you have anymore, it’s really learning how to effectively play your class. Also, positioning. Some abilities do more damage from certain positions, so you will have to dance around an enemy to hit all the sweet spots with classes like monks. These complexities get introduced slowly as you level up, so you have plenty of time to learn the mechanics. My favorite feature might be the class system itself, though. In FFXIV, you aren’t limited to one class for the entire duration of your characters career. You can, from a certain point forwards, choose any class you wish and level that up instead. You can freely switch between classes outside of combat, too. If you are dedicated enough, you can level them all up to max, even. This means if you don’t like a class or the direction a class is going in, you can switch. I for my part started as an arcanist, so I unlocked Summoner at 30. I played Summoner up to 50 but I was just not meshing as well with the direction the summorer went in. So, I switched to Red Mage and after some getting used to, Its now my new favorite. Arcanists are special, because you actually unlock two classes at 30, so I also unlocked Scholars. Scholars are healers and that became my main dungeon class, since queue times are way shorter for healers. This would be unthinkable in WoW, and love the fact this is a thing here.

If I had to describe it, WoW is an MMO with RPG Elements, while FFXIV is a JRPG with MMO elements. I didn’t know I needed that, but in retrospect, it makes sense. The thing that really killed my progress in WoW was that I didn’t have anyone to play with anymore. My friends all dropped from the game and while I generally like doing solo content from time to time, I’m pretty introverted, after all... MMORPGs are usually most fun with friends. Final Fantasy XIV is a JRPG first, an MMO second. There is so much to keep your attention as a solo player, its nuts. All my friends who play this game, play on a different data center, so I can’t even visit them. Despite that, I had a lot of fun in my time with the game.

My experience with the game was incredibly positive, and I don’t think it will get worse from here. Everyone keeps telling me how great Heavensward is. I just have to finish 16 more quests and I’ll be able to see for myself what the fuss is about.

Honestly, if I had to say anything negative, it would be how longwinded ARR is. I mean, its not bad by any means, but I can see how someone could be turned off by this huge storyblock. Worst of all is, after you hit 50 and reach the end of ARR’s story line, there are 80 quests before you can even start with Heavensward. Since everyone keeps going on about how great it is, it’s kind of annoying how long you have to work to even get to it. In retrospect, it kinda makes sense though. These quests are meant to be played over months and months throughout a update cycle and bridge the narrative gap between one storyblock and the next, but holy fucking shit why did it have to be THAT long. They even cut like 20 of the quests from this already insanely long quest line. What the fuck. This is supposed to be an epilogue to ARR and it feels like I played a whole fucking JRPG in between ARR and Heavensward. Oh well. Thankfully, they learned from this and made the post-story blocks shorter.

I will just say that I can recommend this game. You should give it a try. Just... try not to drop the game before it gets really, really good.

#Rant #final fantasy #Final fantasy XIV

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harry-styles-sunflower · 4 years

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Meeting You In The Hallway

a/n: HII lovely people! I hope you are all doing well today! This is part 1 of Meeting you in the Hallway. Part 1 is a bit short because it’s an introductory chapter, but I do plan on making the chapters as I go. I’ll put specific warnings in the beginning of each chapter.

What it is: You move into the apartment across the hall from Harry and you begin a friendship which you both want more from but can’t communicate that want. AU.

Word Count: 1.9k

Pls reblog if you like it 😊

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You had finally raised enough money to buy your own apartment right around the corner of Central Park. You were a registered nurse in the city, but the city was nothing new to you. You had grown just outside of the city your whole life. You worked on 5th Ave so buying an apartment near Central Park was just perfect. Today, Sunday, was move in day and you didn’t come with a lot. Few boxes and basic furniture. Your apartment was on the top floor which gave you the most beautiful view of Manhattan. There was only one other apartment across from yours because you were all the way at the end.

You got to your apartment around noon and began bringing up all your boxes after your mom and dad helped you bring up your bed, couch, and dining room table. You’d get the rest with time. With the view you had you weren’t in a rush to buy a tv. Just a good book and a chair was fine. “Have you met your neighbor yet?” Your mom asked. “No, not yet. Hopefully soon. The seller said he was nice. Not too loud” you shrugged. You figured that maybe it was just a bachelor business man who worked a lot, like you.

Once you finished bringing everything up to your apartment, you said goodbye to your parent’s downstairs. You thanked them as they gifted you a frame of you with them on your graduation day. Their smiles full of pride. “Alright bye, we love you. Stay safe okay? Call us if anything.” Your mom said trying to not get teary eyed. You stayed home for college so this was the first time she felt like she was letting her baby go. “Okay mom, I love you too.” You waved bye to them and then walked back inside saying thank you to the doorman. You’d learn his name another day. Right now, your back and feet were just killing you. You took the elevator upstairs, playing with your new keychain. Apartment 17G. You looked at it happily as you walked back to your apartment. Enchanted by your key you didn’t even notice the man right in front of you until you bumped into his hard chest.

“Ow, sorry. My bad” you looked up and saw two pools of green. Slightly intimidated you looked away and stepped back. His eyes remained on you, studying you, wondering if he’s ever seen you around.

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it. 'Scuse me” And just as fast as you bumped into him, he was gone. You looked behind you as he left. Noticing just how tall he was. With a sigh you continued your walk until the end of the hallway. You opened your apartment door and closed it behind you. You leaned against the door and let out a sigh. Green eyes on your mind. You heard the door across your apartment open and then close. You grunted; upset you missed your neighbor. Just a few seconds too late. You were hoping to get along with them at the very least.

That night you decided to order in pizza and drink some wine on your balcony. Basking in the last few nights of summer. You looked over to your right and noticed your neighbor’s balcony. It was simple, two chairs and small table. A few plants near the edge. “Green thumb” you said to yourself sipping your wine.

Eventually it become dark and you grew tired. You cleaned up your kitchen and organized your cupboards just enough to get rid of one box. On your way to shower and call it a night you remembered to check your door. "Can never be too safe" you thought to yourself. As you checked your door, you felt your feet crumple some paper. Confused, you bent over and picked it up.

“Hi, um I think you moved in today. If not, you’ll just see this whenever you do, I guess. Well just wanted to say welcome to the building. Guy across the hall, 17H.”

With a small smile you brushed your fingertips over the handwriting. This was a sweet gesture and your apartment began feeling even more like home. A possible friend you thought. No, you hoped. As you laid in bed about to sleep, you thought of your neighbor in 17H. Was there a reason why the H was underlined? But as you closed your eyes you remembered those two pools of green.

~~~

The next morning was a Monday. You were off that night so you woke up and decided to unpack as much as you can.

During breakfast, you saw the note your neighbor had left you. You flipped it over and wrote, "I'm moved in, thank you for the warm welcoming." You debated whether or not to ask if you should grab a drink together. Instead you settled on, "Meet you soon. Girl across the hall, 17G." After you finished your breakfast you quietly opened your door, setting a stopper so you didn’t get locked out, and slid the note under 17H's door. You hurried inside. You were still only in your pjs and a robe, hair a mess.

When Harry woke up on Monday morning, he got up and put on a tank top, shorts, and sneakers. He tried to go for an early run, before there were too many people in the vast Central Park. He liked the feeling of morning air. As he was about to leave, he thought about the girl he bumped into yesterday. He was so focused on this new song he was writing he didn’t even notice her. She was also pretty short. He had a small gig the next night at a small café. He was getting less nervous of performing in front of people but he got nervous when they were his own songs. He cleared his head and left for his jog. On his way back, he stopped by a bakery and bought some fresh bread and a few pastries. The small bakery reminded him of his old job from when he was a teenager.

When he got home, he barely noticed the paper on the floor. When he flipped it over, he half smiled at the bubble handwriting. So different than his. "Meet you soon" he repeated to himself. He debated going right over and knocking, but then he remembered he was a sweaty mess and didn’t want that to be your first impression of him.

~~~

By lunch time you decided you needed to buy groceries. No more eating out. You grabbed your bag and a light sweater. The day had gotten a little bit cloudy. You tucked a mini umbrella just in case. That’s the kind of person you were. You were cautious, always prepared, because you know... Just in case.

You walked downstairs and introduced yourself to the doorman. You found out his name was Pat and he was retiring next year. He was a sweet old man. You walked to Whole Foods to buy your essentials for now and picked up some soup. You'll have something to keep you warm if it rains. You put the soup into your cart and debated whether or not if you should buy ice cream. You thought oh fuck it, you were getting your period soon anyway. You'd need it. You bought chocolate, vanilla, and butter pecan. You decided it was time to go before you bought the whole store. You approached aisle 5 and leaped for joy inside because there was no line, the customer just leaving. The customer looked familiar though, his back looked familiar. A light bulb lit in your head, that was the guy from yesterday. The one you bumped into. For New York City to be so big, it was interesting how you saw him again.

You paid for your groceries and made small talk with the cashier about the weather. Both of you a little upset that it was one of the last few days of summer and it was cloudy. You walked back to your building a little faster as the clouds got darker. Once you made it inside and up to your apartment door you put your bags down and reached inside your purse for your keys. As you were about to put your key in the keyhole, you heard an enthusiastic "Hi!". Jumping you dropped your keys.

"Oh, shit sorry, didn’t mean to scare you" he said as you both reached for your keys causing you to both bump heads.

"Ow!" you both said and laughed a little. You both fell back onto the floor. Still laughing lightly. When you finally focused on who the man was you realized who it was. "Oh my god, it’s you. From yesterday" you said. He looked at you with eyes squinted. "Oh yeah. You." he looked you up and down. "So, you're the girl from 17G" he said as he pointed to your apartment door. "17H?" you asked. "Yep, H was underlined because my name is Harry" he said. You couldn’t help but like the way he said his name. His accent almost stretching his name out. "Oh. Makes sense. I'm y/n." He brushed his hands on his thighs and reached over his hand for you to shake. "Nice to meet you, y/n". You shook his hand. "You too, Harry."

He kept ahold of your hand. You realized how soft his hands were. He slowly stood up while still holding your hand and gently pulled you up.

"Thanks" you said wiping your hands on your jeans. You had trouble looking him in the eye. The green was so beautiful you were scared you'd get lost. His sharp facial features reminded you of one of your favorite characters, Stefan Salvatore for some reason.

"Do you need help? Err carrying that stuff inside?" He asked pulling you away from your thoughts.

"Oh um, no actually. Thank you but I'm okay." you said and turned to open your door.

"Okay. Um well, if you ever need anything."

"Yeah thanks. Appreciate that" you smiled up at him. Looking him in the eye for a second. He was so tall.

"Yeah of course. Just knock" he said and as soon as he said it, he realized how dumb he sounded. Why did he feel so nervous?

"I think that may be my only option. No doorbell" you said teasing him a little.

"Yeah" he said looking down, feeling stupid.

To cheer him up you said, "hey, if you need me, knock three times. That could be our own “homemade doorbell”."

He looked up with a bigger smile and for the first time you noticed his dimples. "Yeah okay, that sounds good. Three times." He nodded.

"Alright. Well, goodnight harry"

"Goodnight y/n"

As you both closed your doors behind you, you both replayed how you each said each other’s name. The way your name sounded with his English accent and the way his name sounded with your American accent.

~~~

Part 2 is now up!

#harry styles #harry styles writing #harry styles x y/n #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfic #one direction #Meeting you in the hallway #myith #pls reblog #au

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tundrainafrica · 3 years

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Title: A Tale of Two Slaves (3/17)

Summary: “Soulmates don’t exist. Fate doesn’t exist. Everything is a choice.” At that moment, Levi could only watch as she made the choice for him.“

Reincarnation AU. Levi remembers everything from their past life. Hange doesn’t.

Note: This has been sitting on my computer untouched for a while, along with the timeline I prepared for a multichapter fic. Will probs go back to it soon. Feedback is very much appreciated.

Other Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14

Link to cross-postings: AO3

The forms were so painfully boring, Levi almost regretted agreeing to meet Moblit. One of the few things, if not the only thing, stopping him from backing out of the study then and there, was the hope it could give him an excuse to see her again. He planned to ease himself into the process of meeting her, not wanting to make a complete fool or a complete stalker of himself.

There was the option to ask for her number. The option to ask for her schedule. Or he could maybe just scan through enough pages on google to find some hint as to what the hell she does, where she goes and where he could possibly “accidentally” meet her. The last option had proved ineffective, Levi spent a good few hours a day doing just that. Just in case maybe, the links he found through google do change.

The sheer embarrassment and conflicted feelings that came with having delusion drive his actions, had Levi worse off than before. Although the nightmares that left him in pain in the mornings had become few and far between, he could not help but think that possibly the reason why was because he barely got any sleep anymore, kept awake by his brain trying to process that relationship he had with Hange and the story that was made known to him.

His five hours a night had dwindled into three when classes started. His brain having no time to process the dreams during classes and training, Levi found himself taking up more time lying awake in bed, building the world his dreams were telling him about and how Hange fit into all of it.

The lack of sleep caught up to him particularly when he was sifting through the pages of waivers and information sheets in the coffee shop near campus at nine in the morning. The words started to blur into blobs and Levi became aware of how much he hated Calibri as a font, a small issue in the grand scheme of things. Lacking sleep and utterly frustrated at his lack of progress though, Levi was finding many reasons not to read them.

He eventually gave up, instead checking box after box after box. “When do you need this?” Levi asked Moblit who sat in front of him.

“As soon as possible… But I really recommend you read ---”

“Well, how much time are you gonna give me to read?”

“I don’t have any classes today so I’m pretty much free the whole day.”

“Same.” He felt the venom in his tone particularly resonate and a part of him regretted it as he said it. That day was particularly special. He had no class. With their coach out on a meeting with other schools to discuss the tournaments and line ups this year, he had given the players a day off. Levi pretty much had that whole day to himself yet, he still went to the trouble of dressing up just to meet Moblit only to find out he’d be going through pages worth of documents while half awake. “I’ll just get a cup of coffee.”

Levi was already halfway out of seat when Moblit took out his wallet.

“Let me pay for it.” Moblit handed Levi a few bills. He had an apologetic look on his face as if he did understand the inconvenience the study would cause anyone. The look Moblit gave him suddenly made Levi self conscious about the tone he had been answering Moblit with since a while ago.

Levi took the money with a small nod of thanks. It was free coffee after all and he did not have much leeway given his monthly allowance.

When Levi got back to their table black coffee in one hand, he could see that Moblit had reorganized the papers, the uncompleted page sitting neatly on top. He had also opened the sandwich he had bought half an hour ago and was eating it already

“Before I forget, did you bring Hange’s keychain?” Moblit asked in between bites.

“Ah, I forgot about that.” Levi kept his tone emotionless for fear of having his guilt take over him. In fact, he never did forget about the keychain. It sat on the side table next to his bed, a glimmer of hope that that morning in the track wouldn't be the last time he saw her.

“Maybe I could come back to your dorm with you and get it after this?”

“Oh yeah, I forgot. I’m not going straight to the dorm. I have plans after this.” A blatant lie. Levi rarely forgot plans.

“Really?”

Levi made a show of going through his phone as he sat down. “Sorry, I didn’t check my calendar this morning. It looks like I have to work on my own stuff for my thesis with my groupmates.” Seniors did not have as many classes as lowerclassmen so the excuse for classes probably would not have worked. As Levi also was aware, the weight of the responsibility lost by only having two classes a week was replaced with the weight of the expectation of creating their own research to add to the body of knowledge in their major.

“How long is your meeting? Maybe I could stop by...” Moblit looked unsure about his own suggestion as if he too understood too the importance of thesis for any senior.

“I dunno. It’s our first meeting and it’s pretty important since we still don’t have much planned.” At that moment, Levi thanked the heavens for his course. He was taking an interdisciplinary track so people had the option to do their thesis by group or individually. His choice of his classes had made it so that he had to do his thesis individually. Moblit did not need to know that much though.

The magic word “thesis” eventually did work in the conversation between the two seniors and finally, Moblit had dropped his shoulders in defeat. “Sorry if I’m being a little pushy. I guess that keychain is just pretty important to me too. I was the one who gave it to her.”

Levi studied the face of Moblit as they talked. Molit did not have the most memorable face so Levi had not figured it out at first glance. As he allowed himself a few seconds to focus on his features and match it to those in his dream, he realized that Moblit was the same soldier who was constantly following Hange in his dreams. “You two must be close,” Levi said. Hange and I were close too.

"We're childhood friends.”

Levi found himself envying Moblit’s place in Hange’s life. Not wanting to engage that thought though, he instead decided to digress into something more positive for him. “So you'd know why she seemed pretty enthusiastic about her thesis.”

“She’s just passionate and gets a little too excited at times.” Moblit gave an embarrassed smile from what could have been second hand embarrassment. “I really hope you didn’t end up hating her. She really wanted to get to know you.”

“Oh really?” Then why doesn’t she. Levi added to himself.

“She’s been studying athletes since we were in high school. One of our friends was actually the subject of our final thesis for high school and Hange won best research with her. She wanted to move on to studying more high level athletes and she was talking non stop about the possibility of working with an athlete here. Then when we were scouting around for athletes to possibly study, she started showing me a lot of videos of you. She could talk non stop about your form, the height you achieved, your body control. I guess that was until you guys ended up meeting...” Moblit looked like he was aware of the weight of that statement and had tried to lighten the mood with a light laugh.

Levi rearranged that last sentence in his head. Until she met me.

Moblit had trailed off from there and Levi wondered how what kind of face he was making for Moblit to realize he had felt guilty about it.

Moblit gave Levi a consoling look. “She seems to be progressing well with Elijah though.”

For a second, Levi could not fathom how Moblit got the idea that that sentence could console him. In fact, just knowing that Hange had gotten over him so fast, had his chest knotting up.

On the outside though, he made sure to raise his eyebrows and nod, to look at least a little surprised and interested. “How’s her research so far?”

Moblit shook his head in amazement. “She's working at a much faster pace than I am. After what happened with you, it’s pretty admirable she bounced back so fast.”

“I don’t hate her. I could work with her if she really wants to.”

“God, this makes me think I should have started earlier." Moblit rested his forehead on his palm. "Your suggestion might be hard... Last time I checked, she was neck deep in her research with Elijah already.”

Even as a senior, there were places on campus Levi had never visited. All of his classes were clustered in one small area of the campus. The track he would rush to train in would be just a five minute walk away, his dorm a fifteen minute walk or a five minute bike.

He never had any reason to visit the other side which housed the science students and the laboratories. Possibly, one of the reasons why he had never met Hange until that day in the track.

It was a ten minute walk from his dormitory, in a completely different direction from his buildings and the track. He decided to abandon his bike for the more flexible option of walking. He did not know if they had have any place to park a bike nor how long he would be there. More importantly, he wanted the freedom of slowing his pace without considering the traffic as he took in the unfamiliar scenery.

Third floor. Fritz Hall.

In fact, he did not need the directions to the biology department. He could have easily asked anyone among the students there. The more important information was the room number and the laboratory name.

He clutched the keychain in his pocket and took the stairs two at a time arriving into a narrow corridor that stretched into both directions.

Thesis labs. Or that was how Mobilit described them. Each biology professor managed a laboratory for students. There were those who focused on internal medicine, those who focused on epidemiology. In each of those rooms was an office and a lab for senior students doing research under the guidance of a professor of a similar specialty.

If he wanted to find Hange, the office was their best chance. Room 301. It would be at one of the ends of the corridors. He only had to figure out the order of the numbers and from there, walk towards the end of the hall. He gripped the handle of the door and pushed it down, only pushing slightly at the door to open a crack wide enough to peek in.

“May I help you?”

“You’re Erwin Smith…” Just like with Hange, Levi had quickly picked up the name as he saw him.

“Yes I am. Nice to meet you.” Erwin did not look surprised to see that someone had named him by face. That was enough of a hint for Levi to realize that that man was probably their professor on top of how he dressed and how he carried himself.

“I’m looking for Hange Zoe.” Levi decided at that moment not to lie. He was sure he could find a reason to justify wanting to give it directly to Hange. He did not want to consider it at that moment. He just wanted to see her.

“She has class now but you can wait for her inside the lab." He gave Levi a onceover. You must be Elijah then.”

Levi gave a subtle nod, hoping Erwin would at least not take that as a full yes later on. At that point in time, he just wanted to minimize the questions he might need to answer. HIs heart was beating hard and his mind was racing. He had gone behind Moblit’s back, taking note of the schedule shared to him and picking a time where Moblit would not be in the office. Pretense and lies were nothing new to Levi but the presence of Erwin in the room particularly made Levi feel dirty for going through all that just to meet one person. With Erwin in front of him, for the first time he felt guilty lying.

"It's obvious from your build that you've been jumping and running your whole life. I hope you could give Hange some good data. All she’s been talking about was this study since I agreed to take her in."

“What’s her research about?” Was she enjoying working with Elijah so far? Was she happy? There were too many things Levi had wanted to ask but he found himself treading along the narrow path of things only Elijah would have known.

Erwin looked at him questioningly. “She wants to do a case study. I expected she’d at least tell you that much.” He shook his head and smiled. “She always had trouble explaining science jargon to the average person.”

Levi wanted to kick himself. Erwin at least answered his own question on any suspicion he might have about Levi (or Elijah.)

“Elijah, do me a favor and ask her yourself. I’d rather Hange also learned how to communicate science to the average person.” Erwin tapped Levi on the shoulder. “Make yourself at home. NIfa’s in the laboratory right now so she can keep you company. You can also use the computer while waiting.”

Levi only noticed the book bag Erwin was holding to his side as he looked back at him. He could not help but feel a bout of disappointment as he saw the professor walk away. It felt like there was still a lot to learn from him.

Levi entered the laboratory to find a woman with auburn hair hunched over a microscope. “Where’s Erwin going?” He asked.

“Erwin?” Nifa looked up from her “Doctor Smith you mean?”

Nifa. That’s her name. Oddly, Levi did not need to ask for her name either.

Nifa only confirmed it a second later after chastising him for calling Erwin his first name. ‘Doctor Smith did not roll out of Levi’s tongue as well as Erwin. The most Levi could hope for was he never faced a situation where he had to call him by name again. A long shot if he ended up working with Hange or Moblit. At the same time, a worry he did not want to occupy himself with again.

“Hange’s class ends at two so you’re gonna have to wait an extra thirty minutes. You can use the computer over there to pass the time.”

Levi looked down at his phone to see only one bar on the upper right.

“Yeah, problems about being stationed at the corner of the building. No signal. And the wifi is only strong enough for a laptop.” Nifa gestured at her own laptop next to the microscope.

Levi walked towards the computer. It was an older model but it looked well loved. He only had to click on his mouse for the screen to boot up to the home screen with some desktop background which looked like some campaign for underprivileged kids and untapped potentials.

He clicked on the google chrome icon. The option to restore pages from a previous session popped up. He had considered completely ignoring it but he considered it might be someone’s precious browsing history and instead decided to leave it on and to just open an incognito instead for his own personal browsing

He was ready to open one up when he saw the tabs that had opened up in front of him.

Ackerman bags gold, Miller silver in the Collegiate Cup.

Levi looked to the profile on the right to see that it was Hange’s Google profile logged into the account. She was researching him?

That small glimmer of what could have been happiness dissipated as soon as Levi figured out the pattern of the articles.

It wasn’t about him.

High Jump Superstar Miller breaks record in high school meet.

Miller commits to Paradis University.

College sophomore Miller bags gold in Horizontal Jump Event.

It was torture looking through the multiple tabs that reopened. As painful as it was, he still wanted to confirm if Hange really was ‘neck deep’ in her research. The bookmarked pages, he also decided to take a peek at had confirmed his fear. There were fifty if not a hundred tabs with article titles mentioning that one athlete.

Levi found himself closing the tabs as he went through them, a small rebellion to the reality in front of him. Hange probably bookmarked them if she needed them anyway. He stopped as he came across a Youtube video towards the end of the string of tabs.

WATCH: College Junior Ackerman beats both personal and national record for the High Jump Category.

Rookie Ackerman bags gold in the Regional Cup with record breaking height.

Levi recognized those tournaments. Those were his best jumps, one of them the most recent one he had performed, only earlier that year.

Watching the videos with the commentary felt surreal. In the interviews, he was the one answering the questions but somehow, Levi felt like he was still learning something new from the version of himself of the screen. He never did pay too much attention during interviews, only asking the questions when asked in the manner Coach Greg had directed him too.

Not wanting to confuse himself any longer with what seemed like another out of body experience, he focused again on Hange’s Gmail account which was logged into Youtube. Just to make sure his conclusion had been real. She was still watching his videos.

She had committed to working with Elijah. Why?

“Miller was slated to be the new superstar in Paradis University with a vertical jump of 8 centimeters and a promising record height differential of 40 centimeters.”

Levi jumped as he heard someone talk behind him. How long has she been there? It was her voice. Yet at the same time, it was too uncharacteristically serious he did not want to believe it was her. As Levi slowly looked behind me, she only continued to talk.

“But then four years ago, Coach Gregory Rivers scouts a new kid from a small town five hours away from the city. The kid had potential. Enough potential to maybe play backup to Elijah Miller. Levi Ackerman with a vertical leap of 76 centimeters and a record height differential of 37 centimeters.”

“Elijah Miller had a higher overall record. Mike Zacharias and Nanaba Briete too." Mike Zacharias and Nanaba Briete . Those were the two athletes who had cooperated with Hange's study back in high school. Levi had made sure to read her old research, in case he would have to use them to convince her to reconsider him.

“Your numbers in high school weren’t groundbreaking. Unless we consider that you’re 157 centimeters tall." The wonder was back in her voice, completely replacing what he realized was the scientist in her talking. "You did not have the height but you had remarkable control, the core strength, the leg power and the flexibility to fly over the bar even when you’re so close to it. That was what Gregory Rivers saw in you when he scouted you for Paradis University. What he didn't expect was for you to outshine Miller or even the seniors."

Hange came up behind him and grabbed the mouse. As Levi watched her go through the bookmarks, he realized if he had scrolled further, he would have seen more bookmarks.

Rookie Ackerman bags gold in the Regional Cup.

Super rookie carries Paradis to nationals.

She clicked one of the bookmarks and played the the video that came up. Levi could only watch silently as the Levi on the screen ran towards the bar, and propelled himself through the air. His vertical was definitely much higher than 37 centimeters at that point. In college though, no one in his team was counting anymore. The importance was he got through every jump without ever touching the bar.

"I wanna know Levi. From a nobody from a no name school, how did your height differential increase twofold. More importantly, how is it that you've not failed a single jump since you entered university? It's amazing. The amount of balance, core strength and body control to keep your body flexible enough not to hit the bar. The amount of leg strength needed to jump that high. You really must be superhuman.”

“I’m not.” Regretfully, Levi’s denial was enough for Hange to snap out of her state of what seemed like euphoria.

Hange put her hand to her mouth. "Sorry, I talked too much." With that, she resisted the closeness and was once again a meter away just standing awkwardly behind him. "I guess I should go back to work. Did Moblit tell you what time he'll be coming?"

"Moblit's not coming today."

"Oh... Can I help you with something?" Once again, Hange was watching her words and her movements with him. That was not the Hange from his dreams. The Hange that had introduced herself the first time they had met on the track. It pained Levi to see her like that and he wanted to make it right.

Levi had prepared himself for possible interactions when he read through Hange's old works. At that moment, Levi took control of his feelings. " I came here because I wanted to ask if you'd be willing to consider." He kept his words as careful as Hange's were with him. "I read your case study on Nanaba Briete and Mike Zacharius. And I thought I could probably provide you with similar data, maybe better data. Let me jump for you."

"Levi…"

"No. I wanna jump for you." Levi did not know what Hange had planned to say. At that point, he did not want to give her any doubts to build on.

This time I'm not going to lose you. A voice inside him said. It disappeared soon after and Levi wondered when he had he lost her.

#levihan #levi ackerman #hange zoe #levi x hange #levi x hanji #fanfic

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airisu7425 · 3 years

Photo

November shopping - part 2

Yeah, I know - I know, too much... But just look at it - many of the goods were released back in March and April and I just got them. I can only use 2 pages of the Saezuru Tori calendar! >_<

Anyway, still heavy on merch (I stick to the no Japanese manga/doujinshi rule until SAL is back) - and mainly Kimetsu no Yaiba. But it was so great to see old series like Slayers and Inuyasha getting merch again! When I got into anime, I did not buy goodies for years (I know, strange), so I did not really own anything related to the first animes I loved - until now. XD Promare and Pokémon are frequent residents in my shopping carts, just like Boku no Hero Academia. Speaking of BnHA - I never really saw the charm of the Pita! series, but this was just too cute to pass.

BL goodies are rare, and when merch is released from one of my fav title, a fangirl has special urges... Hence the 5 Hidoku shinaide keychains. XD

Nyanko-sensei merch is being released relentlessly - when I pre-ordered these textile face masks back in spring, I thought that by the time they come out in September, I won’t even need it. Guess who was wrong? So they are handy now, can’t wait to try them out. :3 Speaking of Nyanko-sensei - I could not resist to buy the schedule book - it looks gorgeous again and I think I won’t use it yet again (don’t have the heart to ruin it with my not so neat handwriting...>_<)

The nendo sets you can see were mainly bought because lately many sports anime use those painting tropes and since I have 2 bodies but I had no clothes yet, they seemed to be the perfect start. I think AoKaga will be the first one that get the chance to shine. XD

I also got a few used merch: yet anther Kaworu (love the base), a Natori Shuuichi (will have to get Natsume as well) one and a tiny sailor Haruka. I also bought a few anime CDs, drama CDs. Fun fact: I was pretty much in love with Sakuya of Kaikan Phrase back when it aired...

Last but not least: the final volume of the fantastic BL webcomic, Starfighter has arrived! Sad to see the boys go, but happy that the series is completed.

tbc in December...

#kimetsu no yaiba #bnha #kny #nge #natsume yuujinchou #slayers #inuyasha #pokemon #hidoku shinaide #kaikan phrase #free!#promare #official merchandise #hamletmachine #starfighter #long post #picture heavy #my collection #my stuff

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wrentheworldsatstake · 4 years

Text

Part 1 of 5+1 Stucky learn about the LGBTQ+ Community,

Warnings: Steve has some deeply internal homophobia, and uses some unsavory language to refer to himself+ Steve recalls a murder of a gay neighbor that traumatized him, I essentially projected my religious trauma on him darlings, so it gets angsty.

2k+

1) Steve Rogers was enjoying his countrywide road trip. His favorite things were to visit scenery that he dreamed of seeing with Bucky way back when. His second favorite things were the small shops that reminded him so much of the small businesses back home. It was still hard to buy things, even with Tony funding his trip with more money he’d ever seen, but Steve knew supporting these shops would keep them around, and Steve needed a slice of home.

Steve had motorcycled all the way to Arizona. This is the last stop on his trip, and probably the most painful. Bucky always dreamed of seeing the Grand Canyon, it was one of those dreams that were tossed back and forth if they somehow became millionaires.

Steve remembers that winter that felt colder than the rest. Not much, he was delirious for most of it (according to Bucky after the fact he had his last rites done? Something he has no memory of but to be fair there was a reason he was having his last rites done). That isn’t important, what he remembered was Bucky crying, something he’d never seen before. He remembered Bucky telling him if he made it out of it, they’d see the grand canyon together.

Steve misses Bucky, in ways he knows he shouldn’t. He remembers Robert, the son of the baker that made the good bread. He remembers he was seen kissing a boy, and he remembered Robert ending up dead. Homosexual Killed by Crowd, was in the papers. He remembered that he went to mass with his mother and the sermon that day.The priest called it justice, he called Robert (poor sweet Robert, who snuck his mom a loaf of bread when Steve’s dad died), filthy and depraved, and deserved to be murdered. He remembered the baker at the mass, nodding,crying yes, but nodding. Every time he tried to get bread there from then on it tasted like sawdust.

Steve remembered when the boys (Bucky’s friends really, but when they were mean to him, Bucky chose Steve instead), were talking about Mary. And how her assets were nice and big. They described how attractive she was and Steve didn’t see it. He saw that in Bucky, brave, beautiful Bucky, and that scared him. Made him feel colder than any winter they ran out of kindling.

So there was Steve, staring at the canyon. His heart was shaking in ways that made him worried the serum stopped working. He had a slip of paper, a napkin from a diner with an image of Bucky sketched on it. He held it up so “Bucky” was seeing the canyon.

“Buck, it’s the grand canyon. Buck isn’t it beautiful...”

Steve hoped in heaven Bucky was looking down at him. Steve hoped Bucky was happy up there. Steve hoped that Buck still loved him, even though he ought to know Steve’s proclivities up there. Most of all, Steve hoped that he could make it to heaven, to see Bucky again, even though he was a queer, hoped God made an exception, that maybe if he prayed enough that god could forgive him.

It took a while for Steve to pull himself together. He wasn’t crying- per se, but some tears slipped out. He hiked all the way to a gift shop a couple of miles away from where he-. Well he walked a couple of miles to a gift shop. He had bought gifts for the whole team, except Natasha. Tony and Clint were easy, they both would appreciate a gag gift, so he got Tony a figurine of iron man that made him giggle in the store, with a face painted literally primary color yellow, lopsided eyes, and armor that was pretty much three red blocks stacked on each other. For Clint he got him a bag of birdseed, and he wrote Property of Hawkeye in purple marker on it. (He asked Tony on his phone (after spending twenty minutes reading an operating manual meant for senior citizens) if that’d be funny, and Tony apparently called “dibs” [whatever that meant] on him for a “prank war”).

Thor and Bruce were a little harder, but he got advice from Natasha on what they may like. With Thor he bought food he’d never tried before, so they could try modern cuisine together. With recommendations from Tony, he got Oreos, Twinkies, “Seaweed” (which he had thought was an aquatic plant??), Tater Tots, Doritos, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, and he did want to try some other things (like sushi? Or pineapple?) but Tony told him it would spoil on the way back. For Bruce, Natasha told him he drank a lot of tea, that it worked with calming him down. So Steve bought tea grown from places he visited. He got some from California called “Golden Feather Tea,” which sounded something Bruce would really like. He also found some from Florida, Alabama, and Georgia.

Everyone had a gift, but Natasha. He wanted to get a gift that Peggy might like, because well… they reminded him of each other. He didn’t want to get anything that may imply he wanted to court her for, so flowers, jewelry, candies, cigarettes (which actually are bad for you? They make asthma worse? Which is pretty disturbing considering how many he smoked when his asthma was bad) or gum. Knowing what he did about Natasha she probably wouldn’t enjoy any of that anyway.

Inside the shop there were a lot of stickers, license plates, and keychains. He also noticed some mid-sized flags he didn’t recognize. Well he recognized one, Natasha had one inside a potted plant. It was pink and orange and white, and he thinks it may be a country flag? He knows those changed some since he got back from the ice. Either way, it seems like a good gift for Natasha he guesses? I mean she already has a tiny one, maybe she’d like another? At least she’d award him for his observational skills.

Going to purchase the flag he noticed a little sign saying 10% of flag purchases will go to some charity called GLAAD. That’s great then! Charities are good. He goes to purchase the flag and put it in the trailer Tony rented for him. He originally decided to go by motorcycle, but when he tried to lug around souvenirs, or sleep in a hotel, he realized he much preferred a mini-house that he drove around than a hotel where his nightmares ended up waking up a baby and it’s parents.

---

Steve was in a good mood. Tony had offered him a room in the tower, which he was worried about originally, but it had so much thought and consideration inside of it he gave the man a bear hug. Tony had a radio on his dresser that Steve remembered having like it once. He had a station on it that played music he remembered throughout his lifetime. There were instructions for each appliance inside of the small kitchen under each appliance. There was “vintage” furniture throughout the apartment, a dresser he remembers his mother dreamed she could have. There were art supplies for him, and a room where he had skyline views and natural light (how Tony knew about his art, he has no idea). Finally he was close to the common room, and could either take the stairs or elevators there, so he was close to the team.

It was an apartment that he dreamed of sharing with Bucky. He could imagine teasing Bucky while he was making the soup for the week. He could imagine giggling and dancing to the radio songs together. He could imagine sharing the bed, holding- no Steve. Steve, that's bad.

---

The entire team was gathered in the common room. Steve had wrapped the gifts inside of newspaper, something he remembered doing with his mom, before kindling got low and they had to use the papers for heat. He handed Tony his first (it was the first one he bought after all). Tony eagerly unwrapped it, flinging paper at Clint, (who balled it up and threw it right back).

“Aww Capsicle ya shouldn’t have,” he said in an exaggerated girlish voice, “Such a gift ought to earn ya a smooch,” which made Steve back up. Did they know, know that he was a homosexual? If they did know, why would they bring it up? These sorts of things were kept shamefully hidden, (unless they were planning to hurt him, but he doesn’t think they will), they weren’t teased or advertised about. Tony stopped when he saw that Steve had backed up, face pale, and somehow the room became more tense.

He handed Clint his gift next. (More like dropped it in his lap, causing an oof to be forced out of Clint). Clint took his newspaper and balled it up and hit Tony, who was just about to tell him not to do that. He held the bag up, and stared at the writing. Natasha who sneaked a peak got a small laugh at the birdseed bag.

“Hey Birdman, do you need that in a feeder form? For when you’re feeling peckish”

Clint stared right into Tony’s eyes, opened the bag, took a handful and ate it.

“No Tony, I have thumbs,” he said after chewing (and grimacing) “so I can eat the birdseed with my hands, I can also do this”

which Clint punctuated with throwing a handful of birdseed at Tony. Natasha rolled her eyes, hoisted up the bag, and said “idiots” almost endearingly? As she put the bag on a shelf by the television.

“Alright then… moving on” Steve said awkwardly. Steve couldn’t really wrap Thor’s gift, so he had it in a plastic bag

“So Thor, uh- we’re both new to the modern era, well you on earth- so I thought that, maybe we can try these foods together? I got a list from Tony and-”

“That would be wondrous shield brother Steven. To try the cuisine of midgard is one of my favorite joys, if they are as any good as those poptarts my friend Darcy introduced me to, we shall have a glorious feast” Thor said, which made Steve sigh in relief, he didn’t want to have made Thor upset (because Thor could crush him with his muscles, his really strong- stop thinking Steve!) Steve gave an awkward smile and moved onto Bruce.

“So Natasha said you enjoyed tea, so I got some from my travels, uh- I hope you like it, if you don’t then I can get you something else-”

“It’s great Steve, thank you,”

Steve sighed in relief, if the team didn’t like him, if they were going to hate him because of his sickness, then how exactly could he lead? He got off on a bad foot in the helicarrier, and things were so different now, and there are now words that were okay back then but, not now, he was being very careful to ensure he didn't offend anybody.

He saved Natasha’s gift for last. He handed it to her kind of sheepishly. Natasha opened it gingerly, and he could see an expression of surprise on her face, before she quickly schooled it to a neutral expression.

“Thank you Steve,” she eventually said.

“Hold it up Natasha! I can’t exactly see it from here,” Tony demanded. Natasha held up her flag, and showed it to the group.

“Wow Cap, you got Itsy Bitsy here a lesbian pride flag, way more progressive than I thought you’d be, I probably owe a bet to someone-” Tony said, sounding pleased.

“A lesbian…? I’m sorry that’s not a term I’m familiar with? I noticed she had a tiny one in a potted plant on her desk, is Natasha from Lebanon, I thought she was Russian? or was that a cover?” Steve said, with an expression of confusion.

“Oh- okay then well…” Tony said. The entire room felt like it dropped several degrees. “Well,” Tony said, “A lesbian is a term for a woman who loves women, the flag identifies them-”

“Oh! I’m so sorry Natasha!” Steve said hurriedly, thinking exactly how the nazis identified it, the whole room tensed, “I didn’t realize I’d give you a modern pink triangle equivalent, I had NO idea, I’m so sorry Natasha-”

“Oh no-” Bruce said “It’s a pride flag, it's something that lesbians like- they use it to show pride, it’s not something that is used to hurt people”

“Wait, So no one will hurt Natasha right? Not that anyone can, but this is a thing in the future, that Natasha won’t be hurt?” Steve said.

“No Steve. There’s laws against that now, you actually get prosecuted if you break them,” Natasha said, “I promise you Steve, I’ll be okay.”

“Wait what about the bible, I remember that it’s a sin under god right?” Steve said frantically, remembering the preacher's sermon, dead Robert, and the threat of hell he feared ever since he discovered he was attracted to Bucky, “I support your lifestyle Natasha, but I can’t, I don’t”

“Captain Steven if I may- there’s a website that goes over it, it’s like an online pamphlet or book, it goes over the bible, it gives evidence that the bible isn’t actually against homosexuality, I’ll pull it up for you tonight if you wish” Jarvis said, difusing all of the tension inside of Steve’s shoulders,

“So I won’t get sent to hell for my proclivities” Steve said, worriedly, trusting his team with something he’d hidden for so long.

“No Steve, it’s okay-” Bruce said, hand on his shoulder, “I promise Steve, there’s nothing wrong with you”

And somehow, that was okay, he was okay, even with Tony interrupting “So I’ve got a chance to tap that ass,” whatever that meant.

#stucky #starker #future-starker #LGBTQ+#Gay Steve Rogers #Lesbian Natasha Romanoff #first fic be nice!

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webcricket · 4 years

Text

Thursday’s Child

Pairing: CastielXReader Word Count: 2759 (Pt. 1) Summary: Part 1 of 5 - You met Castiel during his stint at being human and knew him as Steve, a sweet, albeit mysterious, man working at the local Gas-N-Sip with sad blue eyes that seemed to light up in your presence. That was eight years ago; now the daughter he fathered during your brief time together - the girl he doesn’t know about because he stole from your bed without a word and slipped out of your life before you knew you were pregnant - is asking for him. You realize, for her sake, it’s time to face the painful truth in order to find him. A/N - Part 1 is an angsty intro to the reader, the next part brings us up to speed on where Cas is at ...

Pt. 1

You walked into the Gas-N-Sip onto a scene a match stick strike short of complete chaos. Beyond the sea of customers waiting at the counter, the grumbled volume of their impatience rising like a storm’s tide breaking on a rocky shore, you saw not the blue-eyed sales associate you sought for, but the ragged figure of the manager, Nora, as she slammed her fist against the side of the cash register to compel its cooperation.

The machine spat its contents out in a metallic ding barely audible above the thunder of discontent. Nora flung a handful of crumpled bills at the gaping man stood before her and waved him toward the door with his uncapped cup of cold coffee without a word regarding well wishes for the goodness of the day.

The frazzled blonde jabbed a finger at her temple, peered blankly over the counter, and muttered, “Can I help whose next?” in a manner that made whomsoever was next dither in presenting themselves for customer service slaughter, and two people leave without getting the gasoline they came for - one of whom had trudged there on foot through the snow uphill in a pair of threadbare tangerine Converse after their car ran out of juice three miles down the road.

As the sea swelled in murmured confusion over who was next, you dove into the crush of shoulders and shoved a path through to the front.

Pressed into the counter, you jostled a carousel display of novelty keychains, the inconvenient disturbance of which, more than your voice, caught Nora’s strained attention. “Nora!” you panted. Caging the scattering of metal rings within your elbows to prevent their clattering to the floor, you ignored the nicotine-husked scolding of a wrinkled weather-worn woman sounding in your ear about cutting the line.

“Y/N?” A flicker of hope lightened Nora’s craggy sleep-deprived aspect at the sight of you. “Have you seen Steve?” Clutching at your wrist, she asked the desperate-toned question before you could, unknowingly answering yours in its sameness. “He hasn’t been in for two days. No call out. Nothing. That’s not like him.”

Cheeks paling, you agreed – conscientious to a fault, it wasn’t like him at all to just disappear.

The sickly sense of suspicion festering in your stomach during the last forty-eight hours that began upon waking to empty sheets and fattened itself not on food, because you’d barely eaten under the barrage of worried emotions, but rather fed on a gluttony of unreturned calls and texts, shuddered and flipped with enough weight to unsteady your feet; wrist yanked from her grip, you flattened your palm to the front of your jeans as an awareness of imminent ill shot sour bile up your gullet.

You shook your head; taking a second, you choked back the throat-searing fluid and fortified your dizzied balance against the confirmation he had indeed gone without a trace. “N-no, I haven’t-” you sputtered- “I-I was hoping-”

Cutting you off, unable to hear anything beyond the unhelpful news of your weakly uttered ‘No,’ frustration rutted her sweat-beaded forehead. “Well when you do see him, tell him he’s fired. He left me in the middle of a mess of inventory and I haven’t had anyone to open. For fuck’s sake, it’s the holidays! I’m in a real lurch here.” Wheezing to reach for the final bit of breath required to bellow out her contained fury, she gestured at the crowd and flashed the one or two nearest folks shocked by her expletive outburst a conciliatory service industry contrived smile.

“If-if you see him-” you attempted to request the returned favor through the burst levy of her rage as the woman spewing insults about your impudence wedged between you and the counter to demand immediate attention. Funneled in defeat to the center of the store, you broke for the bathroom before the wet brim of heartache flooded your lashes and a renewed heave of nausea hollowed your belly of its fill of woe.

<<<>>>

“Mama?” The girl outfitted in pastel blue and magenta feather-bedecked fleece footie pajamas curled on the bed beside you stirred sleepily in the crook of your arm; the friction of her minute movements and dry forced heat air of winter combined sparked a static shock where the soft warmth of her bare fingers brushed your own calloused cooler ones.

“Yeah, honeybee?” Swiveling your concentration from the pages of the storybook held above the both of you, you closed the pages and sniffed your reply ticklishly into the freshly washed soap-smell of your daughter’s scalp – the scent of her a welcome haven from the heady aromas clinging to you of yeasted bread, warmed spice, and browned sugar that otherwise denoted a hectic day spent toiling in the bakery and sweet shop you operated below the small apartment.

She squirmed and giggled beneath your unrelenting Eskimo kisses until, fidgeting sideways to evade and escape, she squealed mid-laugh a query so completely unrelated to the book you’d been reading aloud minutes before it took you aback. “Where’s daddy?”

Her innocent and wholly natural curiosity stilled your showering of affection, seized at the center of your chest to steal your breath, and skipped your heart a few agonizing beats, but only a few; you’d grown emotionally numb over many years to the hurt of not knowing what happened with her father, of trying to reconcile your questions with a lack of answers in order to figure out what you did wrong, if anything, to warrant Steve’s disappearance from your life – and his own - without a goodbye, a warning, or so much as an inkling of a reason.

Although you tried and mostly succeeded in tidily boxing up the train wreck aftermath of emotion in your brain, he remained nonetheless an enigma forever in front of you because she was his; she wore his smile, albeit a bit easier and more often than he did; she saw the world through that same shade of inwardly illuminated blue, giving everyone she gazed upon the benefit of the doubt; she treated everything she touched, too, with a kindness, carefulness, and consideration so like him.

He endured even in his absence as an end without an end - the only proofs of the brief love-swept spell of him having been in your life a blunted memory stonewashed by time to dull the jagged edge of loss in believing he was the best thing to ever happen to you, and the life he sparked in your womb, a little girl who turned out to be what he wasn’t – the love of your life.

Yet despite the distance of years and the layers of a life well-lived laid on top of past pain, and like the first time you met him, every once in a while, when you least expected it, in moments when you were most relaxed, his recollection had a way of taking you by surprise such that you forgot how to breathe.

Her inquisitiveness, however, did not; she asked after him on occasion, especially now that she was in school and of an age to notice and wonder at the differences between her family and those of her classmates.

“Max has two daddies.”

Her observation, spoken in an airy awe punctuated by a yawn, penetrated your reverie into the past.

“That so?” Shifting up onto an elbow to better study the seriousness scrunching up her nose, you smoothed her disheveled hair into a chestnut halo of bouncy ringlets encircling her head on the polka dot patterned pillowcase; your fingertips fondly followed a wild whorl rebelling above her ear.

“Mm-hmm,” she drowsily drew out the noise, blinking heavily-lashed eyes that danced over the neon glow of star stickers arranged in constellations on the ceiling. With a mumbled, “and a dog, too” -she tossed the blanket, burrowed face-first into the pillow, and fell soundly asleep.

Staying absolutely motionless, you praised in grateful silence the sudden seizure of slumber children are wont to succumb to for temporarily relieving you from an explanation; whatever she dreamed of would be better than the reality of not knowing you had to offer.

You slipped from the bed and into the hallway, flicking lights off as you walked the worn oriental carpet runner to your bedroom, and found yourself standing in front of the closet digging for a shoebox stuffed in the topmost corner behind a stack of spare sheets.

Extricating the box with a grunt, you sunk to the floor, pushed off the lid, and dumped the contents, those few physical scraps you possessed of Steve - notes, snapshots, and the crumbling petals of a pressed red rose he left behind besides the scars on your heart and her - into your lap.

Last season, perched on Santa’s lap at the mall, your daughter told the falsely bearded jolly supplier of holiday spirit and maker of childhood magic she wanted him to bring her daddy home for Christmas. The pitying frowns donned by Saint Nick and his helper elf upon hearing her request haunted you for weeks afterward. The bright pink bike you bought to place under the tree as her big gift that year seemed a paltry substitute for what she really longed for.

It also prompted you to hire a private investigator to track Steve down. You hadn’t looked for him before then – you’d gotten on just fine without him; but it was becoming clear she needed to know him, if not as the father figure she idealized, at least as a means for both of you to get some kind of closure.

Part of you supposed regardless of why he left he should know he had a daughter and it was unfair - however unfairly he’d treated you - to keep her to yourself when you’d created her together. Whether he wanted to be a part of her life once he knew he’d not only deserted you, but left you knocked up, heartbroken, jobless, and in deep debt holding a newly minted mortgage for a building in need of major renovations before you could bake up that first batch of blueberry scones and realize a long-imagined dream – a dream he inspired you to pursue - would be entirely up to him.

Maybe you’d hesitated to look for so long because you felt he would want to be in your lives out of a sense of obligation rather than any emotive attachment of fatherly feeling; whatever had happened, the Steve you loved was a good man – dutiful of responsibilities to a fault. But Steve chose to leave and you wondered if he’d feel more trapped than anything if he knew there was a child; that he would be there like a hare snagged in a hunter’s snare awaiting fate, but that he wouldn’t want to be there.

In terms of fairness, that consequence wouldn’t be fair to any of you.

You eyed the sealed legal-sized manila envelope folded in half and jammed in the bottom of the emptied box. The part of you that preferred not knowing and defaulted to pigeonholing pain instead of dealing with it stuck it in there a month ago when the backlogged and grandfatherly private investigator working for literal beans of the brewed coffee variety and a weekly doughnut delivery as a personal favor to you got around to handing his findings over along with the kindly-intended counsel that he’d uncovered enough of the big picture to deem the case concluded, and it was up to you to decide whether it was worth hunting the guy down for a face-to-face to fill in the remainder of the damnable details.

Tucking the document into your outstretched hand – the fingers suffering from a nervy tremble no amount of suppressive will would quiet - he strongly cautioned against the latter pursuit of an in person meet up on the basis of having had decades of not so positive experience with quote unquote, “This same sort of dead beat dodging child support.”

Bolstering your resolve to learn the truth with a lungful of air, you slid a finger into the glue affixed gap of the envelope; the flap sliced your flesh as you tore into the paper. Soothing the slash against the warmth of your tongue, you slipped free the sheets within and rotated the cover page to scan the paragraph typed thereon – it comprised a summary of the steps the investigator took, contained a list of contacts in South Dakota and Kansas – potential current states of residence based on credit card activity - should you want to trail him further, and provided a social security number along with a name in bold uppercase print: JIMMY NOVAK.

A noose of nerves cinched tightly at your throat. The last thing you expected was an outright lie.

Steve … no, Jimmy, he carried a sadness in the slouch of his shoulders, a something secretive that distanced his gaze sometimes; he told you he lost everything - his family, his home - that he started over with nothing save the two feet he landed on to build a foundation. You believed him, respected his fortitude to move forward, and loved him enough not to push him to talk about a past obviously painful to him until he was ready.

You never dreamed what he meant to say was everything you knew of him, everything he shared, was a fabrication built not to move on from the truth, but to hide it from you.

The whoosh of your pulse pounded in your ears; vision tunneled, the panicked pump of racing blood blackened the periphery of the white sheet when you turned to the next page.

Written there was the fact Jimmy had another family; had a daughter – Claire. He left them, too. He hadn’t lost his family and home, he ran out on them just like he ran out on you.

“Mama?” Dainty fingers tapped at the damp shine of your cheek; she crept in so quietly you hadn’t heard the tip-toe tread of her bare feet on the carpet. “Mama?” she said it again, a broken whisper verging on a sob, and tangled her limbs around your neck.

You shoved the papers off your crossed legs and pulled the ball of her body into your embrace. “What’s wrong, baby bee?” Blinking to staunch the sting of your tears, your piqued emotion surrendered to a roused motherly alarm as you folded the mess of her sweat-matted hair to your bosom where she could hear the reassuring thump-thump housed within.

“I had a bad dream,” she murmured and fisted the fabric of your robe.

Me, too, you thought, and snuggled her in tighter.

Glancing at the discarded report amid the box’s other trinkets, your bleary gaze landed on a glossy polaroid photo of you and Steve snapped at a holiday party you goaded him into attending with you when your original plus one ditched you at the last minute so you wouldn’t have to face alone a roomful of tipsy marketing execs you loathed.

That night, that moment, his fingers flirting hesitatingly at your waist, touches giving in to the pull of gravity as the night wore on to graze then hug your hips as if they belonged there - had always been there - a confidant and comfort tenderly testing the territory of more - you naïvely yielding like pliant putty to his touch - that was the point of no return; through the retrospective filter of the truth it became clear he seemed too good to be true, because nothing about him was true.

Part of you wished you could reseal the envelope and the truth with it and return to the comparative bliss of not knowing. Mostly you seethed, an unprocessed anger relegated to the back-burner ignited, inflaming mind and muscle until your entire frame radiated a heat of rage.

The girl quaking in your grasp, bend of her spine shivering as you skimmed it in soothing caresses, reminded you some nightmares do evolve to have happy endings; no matter what happened, or what would happen, you had her and he couldn’t take that away from you.

Wiping her fear and tear flushed features into your pajamas, she gasped a desire that plunged daggers through your heart. “I want my daddy.”

“It’s okay, I’ve got you,” you spoke in a whisper to shush her whimpers and calm the heated tempest of your nerves.

She went limp wrapped in the safety of your words and arms; you’d do anything for her, including suffer pain and swallow your pride to dredge up a monster from the past. You only prayed he wouldn’t hurt her, too.

Castiel tag list: (Closed, if you’d like to be removed please let me know!) @jeepangel @sammiesamness @willowing-love @blueicevalkyrie @im-the-nerdiest-of-them-a11 @thesugargalaxy @bluetina-blog @dont-trust-humanity @honeybeetrash @bucky-thorin-winchester @superwholockz @tistai @wordstothewisereaders @gill-ons @mrswhozeewhatsis @marisayouass @stone-met @castiel-savvy18 @samualmortgrim @trexrambling @magnificent-mantle @xdifsx @mandilion76 @rockfairy @peaceloveancolor @unicorntrooper @anisolatedship @itsilvermorny @aditimukul @kudosia @goofynerd-67babylove @uninspirationalsonglyrics @gray-avidan @mishascupcake @mishapanicmeow @praisecastielamen @roseyhxnt @jessikared97 @let-the-imaginationflow @warriorqueen1991 @sebastianstanslefteyebrow @hisnameisboobear @kristendanwayne @fuschiarulerinthebluebox @coolpencilpie @jenabean75 @luciathewinchestergirl @morganas-pendragons @heyitscam99 @fangirl-and-stuff @selahbela @realgreglestrade @splendidcas @pointlesscasey @i-larb-spooderman @thewhiterabbit42 @thelostverse @castieliswatchingoverme @beccollie18 @dragonett8 @dixie-chick @jtownraindancer @carowinsthings @passionghost @ladyofletters67 @futureparent @gabbie7-11 @myfandomlife-blog @dreamerkim @samael-has-arrived @shamelesslydean @earthtokace @neaeri @justanormalangel @lone-loba @supernaturalymarvel @lilrubixx @wings-and-halo @lilulo-12 @x-cassiopeia @thehoneybeecastielfollows @musiclovinchic93 @81mysteriouslyme @the-bottom-of-the-abyss @jaylarkson @missjenniferb @ayamenimthiriel @supervengerslock @jessiekay2010

#castiel x reader #dadstiel x reader #castiel x you #castiel #castielxreader #dadstiel #castielxyou #cas x reader #cas x you #castiel fanfic #spn x reader #cricket writes cas

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lovemesomesurveys · 3 years

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Time Started: 1:13AM. Date: Thursday, January 7, 2021.

1) First Name Spelled Backwards: Einahpets.

2) Middle Name Spelled Backwards: I’m not sharing that.

3) Last Name Spelled Backwards: Or that.

4) Your Half-Birthday: Towards the end of this month, January 28th.

5) What type of milk do you drink? I don’t drink it by itself, but I use soy or almond milk in things.

6) What is the most sentimental thing you own? Oh, a lot of my things are sentimental to me.

7) Have any imaginary friends? No.

8 ) When was the last time you brushed your teeth? Yesterday. It’s 1:17AM; I haven’t brushed them yet today.

9) Do you listen to Christmas music in July? No.

10) What is the first thing that comes to mind when I say January?: I think of the new year.

11) May?: Ugh, summer is right around the corner.

12) November?: The holidays and fall.

13) July?: Miserable summer heat and my birthday. 14) April?: Easter and rain.

15) February?: Hearts and my brother’s birthday.

16) October?: Halloween, scary movies, fall.

17) August?: Dreadful summer weather.

18 ) March?: Green and my dad’s birthday.

19) December?: Christmas, of course.

20) June?: Summer D:

21) September? My mom’s birthday and that fall will soon be coming.

21) What color is your blanket? Rose gold.

22) What was the last movie you bought? I haven’t bought a movie in a long time, so I don’t remember.

23) Last CD you bought? *shrug* It’s been several years since I’ve bought a CD.

24) What radio station do you listen to? None anymore. My parents and brother all play their Spotify in their cars and those are the cares I ride in, so.

25) Are you the only child, oldest child, middle child, or youngest child? I’m the middle kid.

26) If you do have brother(s) or sister(s) put them in alphabetical order, including yourself: Jon, Richard, and me (Stephanie).

27) Do you have anything on your bedroom walls? I do.

28 ) How many windows in your home? Two. We have our sliding glass door that goes to the backyard as well if that counts.

29) How many pairs of shoes do you own? Like 5 or 6.

30) What's the weirdest song title you've ever heard of? There’s been many, but of course I’m totally blanking. 31) What's the worst movie you've ever seen? Not the worst, but a bad one that comes to mind that I saw recently is Sinister.

32) Whats the worst CD you've ever listened to? Hmm.

33) What US State would you NEVER want to visit? *shrug* There’s a lot I do want to visit, though. I don’t know if there’s one I’d NEVER visit, just ones that don’t particularly pique my interest.

34) What country would you NEVER want to visit? Uhhh.

35) What is your least favorite color? Brown.

36) What is your favorite flavor Fanta (the soda)? The strawberry one. I haven’t had that in yearsssss.

37) Do you have any scars? If so, tell me about them....: I have a lot of scars, most of which are from surgeries.

38) Do you know anybody in the Army, Navy, Marines, or any other group (currently or a Veteran)? Nope.

39) What color goes good with blue? White or yellow.

40) Green? Gray.

41) Grey? You can pair gray with a lot of colors. 42) Orange? Black.

43) Red? White or black.

44) Yellow? Black, white, blue.

45) Purple? Some shades of blue.

46) What is your favorite character in 'Harry Potter'? Snape.

47) 'Lord Of The Rings'? I never got into that.

48)'Grease'? I didn’t have a particular favorite.

49) Have you ever seen 'Life Is Beautiful'? Nope.

50) What about 'Monsters Inc.'? Yes.

51) Do you like Scooby Doo? Yeah. I liked it growing up. It’s a nostalgic thing for me.

52) Describe your perfect place to live (imaginary or not): A beautiful beach home with my own private beach area.

53) Does your back hurt? Of course.

54) Do you collect anything? If so, what? Giraffe stuffed animals and knickknacks, keychains, Baby Yoda/Grogu stuff...

55) Have you ever been to camp? Which camp? I’ve been to science camp and Girl Scout camp.

56) Do you have a car? If yes, do you call it anything? If so what? No, I don’t drive.

57) If you don't have a car, would you name it? If so, what? I don’t think I would, but who knows.

58 ) What is your perfect car? *shrug* A nice, functioning one?

59) What family member are you closest to? My mom and younger brother.

60) What family member do you wish you were closer to? I miss being close with my cousins like I used to be.

61) Do you consider pets as family? They are family.

62) Do you look at a calendar daily? No. 63) What is your least favorite holiday? Valentine’s Day has just been another day for me, so.

64) Make up your own quote: No.

64) Do you like getting air-mail? I don’t think that’s a thing anymore and hasn’t been for quite a long time?

65) Would you ever go on a cruise? No.

66) How many phones do you have in your home? 6 working ones that are currently used and who knows how many old cell phones my family and I still have.

67) Do you own or wear a watch? Nope.

68) Do you wear any jewelry? I haven’t in awhile.

69) Where do you wish you were right now? I’m good with being at home.

70) With whom? My parents, brother, and doggo are here.

71) Doing what? I’m enjoying doing this and listening to an ASMR video at the moment.

72) Have you ever had a sepia photo taken of you?: Yes.

73) What is your least favorite WB movie? I don’t feel like thinking about which movies are WB movies or looking them up. 74) Do you own any hats? Is yes, what kinds? Yeah, beanies and baseball style caps.

75) Do you own anything that is older than you? Yes.

76) How many hours of sleep did you get last night? Never enough, but last night I think I really only got 2-3 hours. 77) Have you ever seen snow? Yes. 78 ) Have you ever won a ribbon? Yes.

79) Do you save old birthday/Christmas/whatever cards given to you? I do.

80) How many clocks are in your home? I don’t feel like thinking about that either right now.

81) Ever been to Disneyland? …or Disneyworld? I’ve been to Disneyland several times, but not to Disney World so far.

82) Ever been to Universal Studios? Yeah, back when I was 7. I’d like to go now and see the Harry Potter stuff.

83) Ever seen the cockpit of an airplane? No.

84) Ever made a movie? My cousins and I did stuff like that when we were younger, my friend and I did that once for fun, and there was one I made for a class project.

85) Geometry or Algebra? Ew, math. We don’t get along.

86) Poems or short stories? Short stories.

87) AIM or MSN? I was an AIM girl back in the day.

88) MSN or Yahoo? I used Yahoo Messenger sometimes back in the day, too. I currently still use Yahoo for my email.

89) AIM or Yahoo? AIM.

90) Windows or MAC? MAC.

91) What is your least favorite number? I don’t have a least favorite, but my favorite is 8.

92) What was the last thing you said? “Oh wow.”

93) What are you sitting on? My chair.

94) Have you been outside today? Nope. It’s 1:48 in the morning, but I don’t have plans to go out at all later on either.

95) What have you done today? So far, just scrolled through Tumblr, listened to ASMR, and did surveys. I’m going to make my nightly bowl of ramen after this. 96) Do you like apple or orange juice? Ew, neither. I’m not a juice fan.

97) Do you like cats or dogs more? Dogs.

98) What is your most favorite reptile? Uh, none. I’m a scardy cat.

99) Would you rather fish or hunt? Fish out of the two, but I don’t have any interest doing that either.

100) Are you sleepy? Of course I am.

Time Ended: 1:50AM.

#personal #text #survey #surveys #100 questions

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redroadrot · 4 years

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Furbler asks! Don’t remember where I found them

1. Which of your furbies is your favorite?

Gamzi is by far my favourite! My lil juggalo son

2. How many furbies do you have?

5! 6 soon! (Ones on his way) 2 1998, 1 baby,1 connect, and 1 boom

3. Do you prefer adults or babies?

I don’t prefer either really, I love the babies voices but the adults have more colour options and I love their purring/growling

4. Do you customize furbies?

Yup!! All of mine except my connect is customized!

5. How do you feel about oddbodies?

Honestly some of them make me uncomfortable but I love them to bits!

6. What is your dream furby?

The frog furby!!!! HAND HIM OVER

7. Do you have any special edition furbies?

Nope! But I want jester and racing!

8. Do you prefer mane or no mane?

I love them both a lot but both my adults have the mane so I’ll say mane

9. Do you leave the batteries in all the time?

No, I had batteries explode doing that as a kid and both my adults didn’t work for a while because of leaked batteries. I at most leave them in for a few days if I’m playing with them lots

10. Do you prefer 1998, 2005, 2012, or 2015 furbies?

1998 furbys are by far my favourite but I love how creepy 2005’s are and how soft connect’s are

11. Have you ever met a furby from a foreign country?

I have not but I really want one!

12. Do you take your furbies outside?

Yes!! I have an outing planned soon!

13. How often do you take photos of your furbies?

Hard to say, every few days I probably take a few pictures

14. Do you have any headcanons about furbies?

I do! I believe that the different generations are just different sub species of furby and their colour patterns are different breeds that sparked due to selective breeding or environment! For example the frog furby lives in creeks, streams and swamps! It’s green to blend in with the foliage and hide from predators.

15. Do your furbies have backstories and personalities?

They do! Their still works in progress but I’ll tell you guys all about them when I’m done!

16. Do you make art about your furbies?

I do! I have lots of Gamzi and will be drawing my others!

17. Who is your favorite furby blogger?

Either @rancidbunny or @furbypurrs

18. Did you have a furby as a child?

I did! My furby Baby was given to me as a kid because she was bought for my mom before I was born! Hatz was also my childhood furby, I got him at a yard sale because I loved Baby so much

19. Are you known by your friends as “the furby person”?

Very much so

20. Which of your furbies has the strangest name?

Mmm I think Hatz is a pretty odd one! I’m probably naming the one that’s on his way Shuffle and Shake

21. Do you own a furby buddy?

No sadly

22. Do you own a furby keychain?

Nooo ;-;

23. Do you own furby products that aren’t furbies?

No I don’t, I want the carrier though

24. What’s your favorite color of furby?

Frog frog frog frog

25. What’s your favorite special edition furby?

Jester or racing I can’t decide,, I’ve just got a thing from clowns and that crowd

26. Where did you buy your furbies?

Baby was bought new while they were still being sold, Hatz was bought from a garage sale, Gamzi and Beethoven were bought from a vintage toy and comic store I frequent and my 2 booms(counting the one I don’t have just yet) were gifted to me by friends and we’re bought for or by them when they came out.

27. Do you buy clothes and accessories for your furbies?

I bought a collar for them that I didn’t end up using but most of their stuff has been hand made by me

28. Were any of your furbies gifts?

My booms and technically my baby

29. Did you used to think furbies were creepy?

Nope! I’ve always loves them

30. Do you have a long furby?

NOT YET BUT SWISS CHEESE WILL BE MINE ONE DAY

31. How long have you been interested in furbies?

my whole life but I’ve only been in and aware of the community for like, 4 months? Same for actively trying to search for 1998’s

32. How long have you had your furby?

I’ve had baby my whole life,

33. What got you interested in the furby community?

I seen strange aeons do her tumblr deep dive on it and was so happy to find out I wasn’t alone and that there’s a whole community for this!

34. Do you have a furbysona?

Yup! Gamzi!

35. Do you have furby OCs?

I consider the furbies I own as my ocs

36. Do you talk about your furbies a lot?

Too much

37. Do your furbies help you relax?

They do! I feel much more calm to comb them and pet them and play with them, just holding them makes me feel much calmer especially if I’m having bad anxiety

38. How often do you turn your furbies on?

Usually at least once every 1-2 days

39. Do you have any furbies that are broken?

Baby got her eyes put back together wrong I think so they don’t work right now but that’s an easy fix, Beethoven can’t open his eyelids though, and Gamzi’s speaker sounds a lil funky which I love but other then that they all work!

40. Have you ever tried to repair a furby? Did it work?

Yes! I fixed both Hatz and Gamzi since they had batteries leak in them! Gamzi was bought that way

41. Have you ever skinned a furby?

All of them except Beethoven

42. Where do you keep your furbies?

My 1998’s have a lil shrine at the bottom of the stairs and the others are constantly moving around the basement craft/hang out room

#my furby #safefurby #furby #ask #furby family #furblur #furby 1998 #furby community

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vibranch · 4 years

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The Keybearer’s Keychains (5/6) - Kingdom Hearts Fan Fiction

Rating: T Word Count: 3,870 AO3 link here (Contains some Author’s notes stuff) Part 5/6 The One-Winged Angel, Diamond Dust, Ultima Weapon

Part 1 Previous Part Next Part

Summary: So many Worlds, and so many people. Each one was unique and an adventure to Sora. But one thing that was constant on his journey, was the keychains he received. An exploration of Sora’s thoughts, experiences, and feelings for each keychain he received during his first journey in no particular order.

The One-Winged Angel

Sora didn’t like this Keyblade.

He wanted to. He’d fought so hard to earn it. It was another Keychain he considered a trophy. But he didn’t get the slightest feeling of satisfaction when wielded it. He felt the weapon sap his energy every time he held it in his palm. After every battle with it he swayed and felt dizzy on his feet

Donald noticed faster than Goofy that Sora was having trouble keeping up with them. It was especially noticeable when he used magic. The problems that arose while using this keychain never seemed to pop up when he was using the Keyblade’s other forms.

“Sora, go change Keychains!” Donald yelled at him after a particularly dangerous fight at the Ends of the Worlds.

“No way. I had to fight that Sephiroth guy to get it!” Sora yelled back. He was honestly the most frustrated with it. Sephiroth nearly killed him in their fight and if didn’t learn to use it properly then he would have nothing to show for it.

Goofy handed Sora an ether. An item Sora hungrily devoured. Because, despite how much Sora wanted to deny it, the One-Winged Angel was wearing him down faster than he expected.

Sora tried to focus on the things he liked about this keychain. Such as how the blade ignited the air with flames as he swung it. And, although it wasn’t an especially powerful version of the Keyblade, occasionally the blade would reverberate nicely off a satisfying blow against the Heartless.

Those two aspects were the only upsides to this keychain. But still, Sora kept fighting with it, determined to master it and become a stronger warrior to show for it.

And then it happened.

Sora passed out in the middle of battle. He didn’t even notice at first. He was knocked over by a Heartless and when he thought he blinked, everyone’s position on the field changed. Sora blinked a second time, and once again everybody seemed to teleport from where they once were or what they were doing.

Goofy now stood over him, his shield between Sora and the blade of a Heartless Jiminy had dubbed an Invisible. Donald wasn’t too far away, blasting away with all sorts of different magics.

By the third blink, the Heartless were gone and Donald and Goofy both hovered over him with worried looks on their faces.

“Sora, are you okay?” Donald asked in a tone so concerned, that Sora immediately felt guilty for making him worry so much.

Still delirious, Sora babbled half attempted tries to assure them that he was okay. Determined to prove it, even if he couldn’t say it, Sora summoned his Keyblade to his hand. A burst of flame surrounded the space in front of it as it burst into existence. The minute Sora grasped it, his arm shook from the strain.

Just holding it was challenge now. Immediately dropping the magical weapon on the ground, the rest of Sora’s body began to shake. Partially from exhaustion, but most of it was frustration.

“It’s not supposed to be like this.” Soar said, feeling even more frustrated at just how childish the statement sounded. His voice quivered. “I should be stronger than this!”

Donald drooped his head. “I know Sora, you don’t have to prove yourself to us. Just use a different keychain and see if you feel better, okay?”

“Yeah, you haven’t been able to keep up ever since we got here.” Goofy agreed. “We know you can do better, the only thing that’s changed is the keychain you’re usin’.”

Sora wanted to argue but he didn’t have the strength to even keep a grip on the Keyblade. It vanished from existence a short time later. He studied the ground where the Keyblade had once laid. Just a small burnt outline remained of where it used to lie.

Goofy handed Sora a potion. “Here, drink this.” Sora did, but only got halfway through it before the world changed again.

Sora awoke inside a one-use tent Donald had bought from Huey Dewy and Louie back at Traverse Town. Any trace of Donald and Goofy being in the tent was missing.

Sora was about to call out for the two of them when he heard Donald arguing about something from outside the tent.

“One use! It’s wasteful is what it is!” Donald yelled, his voice full of hot-tempered feeling. “I don’t know how you can be incompetent enough to make a tent that’s good for only one use! It’s clearly an example of planned obsolescence!”

“Gwarsh, maybe you should have a talk with yer nephews about it. Or we could try buyin’ one of them fancy one-use cottages instead.”

“A one-use cottage!? How is a cottage good for only one use?! How would we even carry a cottage with us the first place?!”

“Umm,” Sora hesitated. His voice instantly caught the attention of Donald and Goofy.

“Sora, you’re awake!” Goofy hollered as he wrapped him in a hug. Donald placed a feathered hand against Sora and allowed himself to let out a sigh of relief.

“Yeah, I’m awake.” Sora squeaked from Goofy’s crushing embrace. “Sorry if I worried you guys.”

“Aw, I wasn’t scared,” Donald folded his arms and tried to look disinterested.

“Oh yeah? I think you were,” Goofy hyucked.

“Who asked you!” Donald fired back before turning back to Sora. “Sora? Are you still going to use that keychain?”

“No,” Sora said, summoning his Keyblade to his hand and tearing the winged charm from it. Instantly it reverted to its original form with the Kingdom Key keychain hanging where the One-Winged Angel once hung. “I’m done trying to use it. It doesn’t want to be used. There’s a darkness inside this keychain.”

“Whaddya mean?” Goofy asked.

“It’s kinda hard to put into words,” Sora responded. “Just holding this keychain feels…” Sora trailed off, trying to find the right word. He didn’t want to worry his friends more than he already had, but they would probably worry even more if he said nothing. “Bad, or maybe wrong? It’s harmful at least.”

Goofy gulped in response. “Whaddya think we should do?”

Sora stared into the vast landscape of former Worlds before looking down at winged keychain still in his hand. An idea sprouted in his mind. His grip tightened on the small winged keychain as he knew what to do.

“Sora?” Donald reached out for his friend, trying to offer some reassurance to the boy who’d grown so quiet.

Jerking his body before Donald could touch him, Sora threw the keychain into the distance. He turned around to face Donald and Goofy.

They both gave him questioning looks. He loved gathering his collection of keychains, they couldn’t believe he’d just toss one away like that.

Seeing the question on their faces, Sora spoke before they could ask. “The One-Winged Angel, it’s not something for me to conquer, I see that now.” Sora spoke in a tone free of the doubts and insecurities his voice held earlier. “Like I told you, Goofy. It’s harmful, so I’m not going to bother letting it hurt me anymore.”

Goofy smiled and placed a hand on Sora’s shoulder. “If that’s what you think is best!”

Donald moved to do the same, but he wasn’t tall enough to reach, so instead gripped Sora’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “Yeah, good riddance to bad rubbish!”

Sora began to laugh. About what, he wasn’t sure. “Hey, don’t you two start getting mushy on me!”

“Aww, the three of us have always been mushy!” Goofy chuckled as he leaned against Sora and brandished his shield. “But that’s okay. So long as I’ve got my shield, I won’t let nothin’ touch us three mushies!”

Sora laughed as he playfully shoved him off his shoulder. “You guys keep talking like that and I’m liable to throw up!”

Donald and Goofy kept teasing as Sora looked back from where they’d come. He couldn’t help but be taken aback by how far they’d come together. Not just in this World either. Every World they’d walked through, every challenge they faced, it all seemed to form up in a straight line behind them.

They’d been through a lot of tough battles, but Sora knew their toughest ones were just ahead. Sora looked towards the road they still had to travel and steeled himself for whatever he’d have to face next. The future didn’t scare him at all. Afterall, Goofy still had his shield to protect the three mushies.

The Diamond Dust

Sora made his way back to the Gummi ship after a particularly grueling battle against a colossal being called the Ice Titan. As the name suggested, it was made of living ice and commanded said element in all manners of ice based attacks.

Despite mostly throwing solid ice at him, the Ice Titan occasionally breathed out a frosty breath that coated the ground beneath it with snow and froze what lay under as ice. Sora was amazed by it, his thoughts raced back to when he was first learning the Blizzard spell and could only produce small amounts of slush. It was the most snow Sora had ever seen. In fact, even now Sora still felt a chill cling to him as he walked along with Donald and Goofy.

“Say, Sora. You’ve got a little somethin’ stuck to ya there.” Goofy said, noticing a perfectly preserved snowflake on Sora’s hoodie. Goofy made special care not to accidentally crush it in his grip as he plucked it from Sora’s shoulder,

“Huh?” Sora turned to see what Goofy was pinching between his fingers. “What is it?”

“Looks like a snowflake.” Goofy said, in the comically serious way only he seemed to be able to do. He studied the small frozen water crystal as if it were a rare synthesis ingredient.

Donald looked up at the object in Goofy’s hand before turning to address Sora. “Must be a leftover from your exhibition against the Ice Titan.”

“Really…” Sora grinned, pulling his arms over his head and thought back to the battle he’d won singlehandedly. He tried to recall when the snowflake might’ve gotten attached to him, but he was dodging so much snow and ice being hurled at him it was impossible to figure out when it had stuck to him. “I’m surprised it hasn’t melted yet.”

“Gwarsh, good point.” Goofy said, finally looking away from the ice crystal. “Wonder how much longer it’ll last.”

“Well, let’s take it with us and find out.” Donald said as he moved on ahead from the rest of the group. “C’mon, you guys! We gotta get back to Traverse Town! Sora, you told Kairi you’d visit her as soon as you were done here, remember?” he called back at the two stragglers.

“Oh, right!” Sora shouted in return as he ran to catch up with Donald.

“Hey fellers, wait for me!” Goofy hollered after them.

Sora scurried down the streets of Traverse Town alone. He held the snowflake in his hand, careful not to drop it. Curiously, it hadn’t melted during the trip back to Traverse Town.

Sora bounded through the alley that eventually lead into the waterway. Sora figured Kairi would be intrigued by the miraculous snowflake that wouldn’t melt, and secretly he was excited to be the one to show her it.

“Kairi!” Sora shouted, once she was in sight.

Kairi jumped at Sora’s sudden and unexpectedly loud volume. For a moment, she worried something might be wrong.

But Sora ran right up to her and outstretched his hand holding the snowflake. “You’ll never guess what I found! He chuckled proudly.

Kairi looked at the tiny object, and then back at Sora. That was it? Kairi thought. She half expected Sora to be running in to tell her about some sort of emergency from how loudly he’d shouted to her, and here he was with a snowflake of all things!

“Sora, why do you have a snowflake?” she asked. Sora’s grin widened and she suddenly understood exactly why Sora had been so noisy. He get’s excited so easily. She thought.

“It’s not just any snowflake, Kairi. It’s a snowflake that refuses to melt.”

“It… Refuses?” Kairi repeated. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, I’ve had it for a couple hours now and it still hasn’t melted.” Sora extended his arm again, offering Kairi the chance to hold the small ice crystal.

Cautiously, Kairi took it from Sora, half worried that she might accidentally crush it if she wasn’t careful. She held the snowflake between her fingers and slowly turned it over in her hand as she examined it. “Why won’t it melt?”

“I don’t know.” Sora shrugged. “Donald said it might be magical or something… I mean it did come from a giant ice monster, that might be why it won’t melt.”

“An Ice Monster?”

“Well, I think its actual called an Ice Titan, but it wasn’t really much for conversation. So we didn’t get the chance to exchange names.” Sora admitted.

Kairi giggled at the thought of Sora sitting down to talk with a giant ice monster. If anyone could, Sora could, she figured.

After spending some more time examining it, Kairi at last spoke up again. “You know, this snowflake kind of reminds me of home…”

Sora’s smile changed into an expression of curiosity. “Really?” he hadn’t expected her to talk about that. She’d never talked about where she’d come from for as long as he’d known her. “How come? I thought you couldn’t remember anything from your home?”

“It used to snow on my World.” Kairi said, as she stared deeply into the snowflake’s patterns. “It’s weird, I still can’t remember much, but I can remember trying to catch the falling snowflakes in my hand to look at them when I was little. But they usually melted before I got a good look.” She looked back at Sora and gave him a grin that matched the one he had when he first arrived. “It’s nice to finally have a good long look at one”

Sora’s smile returned, he was glad that he had this chance to make her smile. But there was a pang of jealousy inside him that caused his smile to only stay temporarily. “You know, despite all the Worlds I’ve traveled to while looking for you and Riku, none of them had snow…”

Kairi thought back to all the events she could remember while being a passenger in Sora’s Heart. “Well, that might be a good thing.” She teased. “You’re kind of used to the beach. The snow might look kind of similar to sand, but it’s much colder.”

“Hey c’mon, I know that much!” Sora laughed. “I fought the ice thing!”

Kairi laughed in return. “I thought you said it was called an Ice Titan!”

“Whatever it was, it was made of ice!” Their laughter echoed through the cave. After a while silence slowly settled in again. “Anyway, once this is all over, we’ll be going back home. Back to the Islands.”

“Yeah,” Kairi said.

“I’m kinda disappointed that I won’t get to see any actual snow for myself. It’s not like it ever snows on the Islands.”

“Oh,” Kairi didn’t expect Sora to sound so down about it. “I’m sorry, Sora.”

“No, it’s fine. It’s not your fault I never got to see it.” Sora suddenly had a thought. He paused for a moment in nervous apprehension as he considered sharing it. “Hey Kairi?”

“Yeah?”

“Could you tell me what snow is like? Actual snow, not the small stuff Donald can spray from his staff.”

Kairi was a little surprised. She wasn’t sure she could do it. It had been nearly nine years, at best, since she’d last seen the snow, but she didn’t want to deny Sora his request. “Sure, Sora. Anything you want to know in particular?”

“No,” Sora shook his head. “Just tell me what it’s like for it to snow where you live.”

“Well, sometimes it’s really wet and slushy, and other times it’s more compact. You could almost walk on it, but I mean, I was only four at the time. So maybe I just didn’t weigh enough to fall through it.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, it was pretty magical. Sometimes I’d go to bed and there wouldn’t be any. Then when I would wake up, the whole place would be covered in the stuff!”

“Wow…” Sora said, trying to imagine what that must have been like.

“We even had a name for it back on my world, when we woke up in the morning and the landscape was covered in snow.”

“What did you guys call it?”

“Diamond dust. Because of the way the rising sun gleamed off it.”

“Diamond Dust, huh?” Sora brought his hand to his chin and tried to picture that as well. “That sounds really pretty.”

“It was.” Kairi said wistfully as more thoughts of a home she’d thought long forgotten flooded back to her.

She turned back to Sora. “But try not to feel too disappointed, okay?” She paused to gently place the small snowflake back into Sora’s hand. “After all. you’ve got a little piece of Diamond Dust for yourself.”

Sora looked at the snowflake, another small smile slowly grew on his face. “Yeah, I guess so!”

Another thought crossed Sora’s mind, if the snowflake really wouldn’t ever melt, maybe he could make a keychain out of it. It could serve as a reminder of this moment with Kairi.

“Do you still want to talk about snow?” Kairi asked, her voice cutting through his thoughts.

“Nah, I’ve got a better idea. Check this out,” Sora said, pointing his Keyblade away from Kairi. He could make a keychain out of the snowflake later. Right now, he wanted to see some real snow with Kairi. “Deep Freeze!” He shouted.

The Ultima Weapon

Sora spent a lot of time experimenting with the Moogle synthesis. It was an interesting curiosity to him at first. However, as his journey approached its end, Sora found himself visiting it more frequently.

When pressed about why he was so committed synthesizing, he’d claim that he was doing it to make something cool for everyone. It wasn’t untrue, he’d made all sorts of things. A staff of Donald, a shield for Goofy, along with an assortment of other objects. From bangles, to ribbons, to earrings, to even a crown, Sora had done it all.

But Donald and Goofy could tell there was more to Sora’s sudden interest in synthesizing than he was letting on. He just wouldn’t come clean.

One day, while rifling through the Moogles’s ancient synthesis recipe book, Sora stumbled upon an entry for Keyblade wielders of old, called the ‘Ultima Weapon’. It was the perfect recipe for Sora. It required materials from every World he’d been to, meaning it would take a long time to create. And since its name implied it would be of great use to the dangerous place they were heading towards eventually, Donald and Goofy agreed to postpone their trip to the End of the World

Unlike most keychains Sora had collected, Ultima Weapon was made entirely by him. Looking at the finished Ultima Weapon, Sora could see why it was given that name. Unlike all his other keychains, this one was truly a weapon. An actual sword blade was hidden beneath an elaborate wreath of gold. It vaguely reminded Sora of a sword he’d used once in a bizarre dream.

A dream he had just days before the Islands fell to Darkness. Those days felt so long ago to him now. And now with the Ultima Weapon finished, Sora, Donald, and Goofy were soon to depart to the End of the World and set everything back to normal.

But what even was normal anymore? Sora’s new normal was flying to new Worlds and making new friends with Donald and Goofy by his side. If things did go back to normal, the way he remembered normal being at least, then ironically the only thing that wouldn’t be normal anymore would be Sora. Was it selfish to wish that things could just stay they way they were now?

Holding the finished keychain in his hand, Sora was tempted to hide it someplace and tell Donald and Goofy the synthesis failed and that they’d have to try to make it again. But even they wouldn’t delay traveling to the End of the World a second time.

So, with a bit of apprehension, Sora showed off his entirely self-made keychain to Donald, Goofy, and Kairi, before taking off in the Gummi Ship.

Sora only used the Ultima Weapon occasionally. They stopped at various Worlds. Mostly to visit friends and make Testing it out on the various Heartless that showed up on the Worlds they stopped at, on their way to the End of the World.

It felt powerful, and if its name was anything to go by, it was powerful. But what Sora liked most about his keychains were the events that lead to him receiving them. Each one contained their own story and reminded him of the friendships he’d made.

When the time came that they arrived at the End of the World, Sora hesitated to take his newest keychain with him. Ultima Weapon had no real story to it. Sora had spent a lot of time making it, which held a certain satisfaction. But Sora had synthesized a lot of items along the way to Ultima Weapon. The thought of choosing the Ultima Weapon keychain over all his other keychains didn’t sit right with Sora, especially for what was likely the final new World he’d ever set foot on.

There was a temptation to take all of his keychains with him, to show no favoritism to any of them. But ultimately, Sora decided to only take the Oathkeeper and One-Winged Angel keychains with him.

“No point in traveling with a ton of stuff jangling around in my pockets,” Sora said to himself.

There was a thrill to taking the One-Winged Angel over Ultima Weapon. Sora hadn’t mastered it yet, but the End of the World could be his trial by fire with it.

“Sora are you coming?!” Donald called for him.

“Yeah, Coming!” Sora called back, giving one last look to his newest keychain. Sora set it down on his desk and gave it a slight smile. “Next time,” he whispered to it before running out the door.

Unfortunately for the Ultima Weapon, next time would never arrive. The reforming worlds would claim even the small keychains Sora had Collected. As these too, came from other Worlds.

The Ultima Weapon was ripped apart by the pull of the Worlds Sora had visited, each one claiming back the resources used to create the keychain.

Nearly a full year would pass before Sora returned to the Gummi Ship. By that point the promise of using the Ultima Weapon was a distant thought Sora no longer recalled. Not even the memory of setting it down on his desk remained. Even if he did remember, Sora was far more distraught over the total loss of his entire collection, to care about a promise he had made to a single keychain.

#Sora #Kairi #Donald Duck #Goofy #Sokai #kingdom hearts fanfiction #kingdom hearts #fan fiction #Sokai specifically during the Diamond Dust #My Writing

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your-modern-shakespeare · 5 years

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A Little Too Real (14)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 4.5, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 7.5, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 10.5, Part 11, Part 11.5, Part 12, Part 13

Summary: RealityTV!AU- You are a wardrobe supervisor for a popular TV network. The show is planning a reality TV show like the bachelor and Bucky is the newest contestant. But as the competition starts he realizes that he doesn’t like any of the girls…on the show anyway.

Pairing : Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 8090

A/N: Well...this is it guys! The very last chapter of A Little too Real. There WILL be an epilogue but I am so sad to see this one go. I want to say a big thank you to everyone who has read and loved this story and I hope you guys stick around to see what I have planned next. I love you guys and enjoy!

P.S. There is a lot of theatre Wardrobe lingo in this chapter, sop if you get confused or have no idea what I’m talking about HERE is a guide that explains everything

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, Kissing, Fluff,

Y/N’S POV

My flight landed around 1 am and because it was so late and I had no way to get into my apartment until at least tomorrow, I checked into a hotel. I opened the room to a big king size bed and dropped my bags on the floor before collapsing on the bed. I didn’t bother to get changed or anything that involved me getting off the bed, I kicked off my shoes and climbed under the covers. I didn’t have the energy to do much else at this point, so falling asleep was easy.

When the morning came and my alarm went off, I begrudgingly rolled out of bed and got ready for the day. I had two four hour calls with one hour long lunch, which meant that my first call was at nine and still too early considering how little sleep I got last night.

It wasn’t that I wasn’t tired enough to go to sleep, believe me I was, but the guilt of leaving and the rampant thoughts of Bucky kept me from sleeping peacefully and woke me quite frequently. And of course the time difference kind of messed with my head.

But I showered, getting the airplane grim off of me, and did a little bit of makeup, wanting to look a little nice for my first day. I also chose something a little nicer to wear, but still comfortable enough to do all of my work.

According to the Assistant Costume Designer the first fitting for the day started at 9 am which was also the start of my call, unfortunately. So I left my hotel, got in a cab and made it to theatre 30 minutes earlier than the call time, wanting to have a chance to set up the fitting and get a lay of the theatre beforehand.

Once I got to the theatre I walked around the building until I found the stage door which was already open. Going inside I found one of the security guards who gave me my pass and key card for the theatre and was even nice enough to show me down to the wardrobe room, which he also unlocked for me. Inside the wardrobe room were racks upon racks of clothing and on the table, meant to be my workspace, was a stack of paperwork and keys to the wardrobe room, I was guessing. I grabbed the key off the desk first and grabbed the Roscosmos keychain that Bucky had bought for me, placing the key on the ring before putting it in my bag, where I couldn’t lose it. Then I started to go through the racks of clothing, opting to fill out paperwork after the fittings.

Not only were these costumes absolutely stunning with the different brocades and laces but also being in the Renaissance fashion made them so much more outstanding. So, knowing that Leah would be the first girl in today, I went ahead and pulled her costumes and put them on the rack inside the fitting room. I also found my notepad for notes and put things out on the table, just in case we would need them, like safety pins, straight pins, measuring tapes, and a few other things that we probably wouldn’t need but I put out anyway. Hopefully we wouldn’t need too much since these were final fittings.

So then it just became a waiting game. I was hoping that the assistant would get there before the actress did but sometimes it just depended on the person. From what I had heard I had gotten a good assistant to work with, so despite me always wanting to be early, I’m sure she would be on time for the fitting.

When I had finished setting up the fitting room, even pulling the next two sets of fittings and setting them closer to the fitting room, I decided to walk around the theatre, get a lay of the land. Depending on the show, the union status, and touring company, how nice the rehearsal space tended to vary. For instance, the first tour I ever worked was a small show with only about 14 performers, it was non-equity, and the touring company couldn’t afford to fly us anywhere so we were on a bus, which meant we were in a rather small theatre for the two months of rehearsals, fittings, and tech. With this show, where there were 22 performers, where this new tour was equity, and where we got hotels and flights, we got a much bigger theatre with space and organization and the ability to do a really good job setting up this tour.

So I wandered around looking at this beautiful theatre, wondering about what shows had played there, meeting a few people along the way, and eventually circled back to the Wardrobe room before 9:00 came around. I walked into the room, seeing someone looking at the clothing on the rack outside the fitting room, the ones for the two later fittings.

“They’re absolutely beautiful.” I said, grabbing her attention.

“Gregg doesn’t do anything but beautiful.”

“No he doesn’t. You must be Nakia.”

“And you must be Y/N. It’s nice to finally meet you.”

“It’s nice to meet you too.” I reached out and shook her hand and then we turned back to the costumes.

“Well, I guess let me get you caught up on what I’ve done so far before the first actress gets here.”

“Sounds like a good idea.”

“So first, we have two four hour calls today, one for the three fittings and the second for the crew watch. I’ve gone ahead and started the paperwork for the costumes that have already been fitted, made the piecelists and hopefully after the run tonight I can start on the tracking. I also want to start an extra list for this next round of fittings so that we can start buying skins and of course I’ll go back to the actors who’ve already been fitted and ask them what they’ll want. I’ll make a list and have the shopper go pick up those items and extras for our gondola backstock. And I’m not sure if you know or not, but I already sent an email to Gregg asking him if he was using Broadway costumes for swings, since we had one drop out last minute.”

“Yeah, he handed me a stack of costumes this morning, they’re in my car.”

“Great, she’s our third fitting so, if you want I could go and grab them and bring them in?”

“Oh no, I have someone whose helping me out for the day, he’ll bring them in in a bit.”

“Okay. Other than that, the run through starts after the lunch break. You can sit in the house and make note of anything you see and I’m going to be backstage walking through the old supervisor notes and talking to the actors about what they think they’ll need for their quick changes and whether or not anything needs to change.”

“You’re not going to watch the show?”

“I’m going to be on the road with this tour for over a year, I think I’ll know the show front and back in no time.”

So the two of us started going over some of the other fittings from before, still waiting for our first actress to come in. We got to about 9:15 when I started thinking that she wasn’t coming.

“You know, in my experience, I’ve never had anyone show up this late to a fitting before.”

“Oh...did I tell you 9?”

“Yes?”

“I’m sorry I meant 10. I must have been thinking 9 because we get done at 1 and a four hour call starts at 9. Leah won’t be here until 10 though.”

“Okay, well there’s plenty of stuff to do until she gets here and I’m hoping your assistant will get here before she will.”

“He should be here any second.”

“Well before he gets here I’m going to grab the rest of those shoes. I just got them back from the shop and now that they’re painted the color that Gregg wanted, we can order shoe paint too. It’s as if everything is coming together.”

“Yeah as if.” We both laughed.

So I went to the back of the room and grabbed as many boxes of shoes as I could, kind of like a juggling act, knowing either way that I would have to take a second trip. I set the boxes down outside the fitting room, on the ground below the costumes, grabbing Nakia’s attention while I put them in the correct order.

“Hey, did we ever get those other LaDucas in?”

“I couldn’t tell you the first thing about any LaDucas.”

That voice made the whole world stop and the only thing I could hear was the erratic beat of my heart. I wasn’t sure when I was going to see him again, I knew I would but I didn’t think it would be today.

I slowly stood from my crouched position and turned to face him, for a brief second wondering if I had just imagined the voice as him.

He stood there looking as handsome as ever in a tuxedo, the nicest one I had seen him in to date, and yet he looked absolutely exhausted and like he hadn’t slept in a while.

“Bucky...what are you doing here?”

“Well Nakia asked me to bring in those costumes.” He gestured to some costumes wrapped in plastic hanging up on the rack next to the other costumes for the fittings.

“I meant what are you doing in New York?”

“I came to be with you.”

“You flew out here—“

“To be with you and to do this.” He stepped forward and placed his hands on either side of my face, pulling me to him and, finally, kissing me. I relished in his kiss, sinking into his embrace, enjoying the moment...even if it was only for a moment.

I pulled away from him but not too far from his embrace. “You know, just because you show up at my work and sweep me off my feet, doesn’t mean I’m going to quit.”

“I know.” And again with the kiss...God, his lips...

And yet I pulled away from him again, my breath starting to get a little labored. “And this kiss doesn’t fix everything.” But God did I wish it could. And because it didn’t, I just wanted to be clear with him, despite the fact that he was doing a pretty good job of clouding all rational thought. It was just...when he kissed me it made me feel like I had before, all the times we had spent together before it all blew up in our faces. It was as if every time he brought his lips back to mine, there was something that reminded me of every reason I loved him.

“I know.” Kissing me again, he held me longer this time not letting me out of his grasp too quickly but letting me pull away anyway.

“There’s a lot that we need to talk about before things can go back to normal, a lot that I’m still confused about.”

“I know.” This time when he kissed me, he moved his arms around my waist, pulling me even closer to him. This time I lingered a little longer with him, pulling away what seemed like forever later, when I was able to think of something else to say.

“And—“

“I love you.” He interrupted.

“You love me?”

“I love you so much, I have loved you since the second I saw you in that interview. I loved you every time you sassed me, I loved you every time you smiled or laughed, I loved you when you hated me, and I’ve loved you every second in-between. I know that there’s a lot that I need make up for and a lot that I have to explain but I would spend a lifetime getting in your good graces again if it meant that I got to be with you.”

“You love me?” He smiled and let out a laugh.

“Is that all you heard?” I tried to say something to him, anything but the shock of hearing those words said to me by him, made things very hard to comprehend. I mean I had heard what he said, all of it, but in my head it was as if there was absolutely nothing there, nothing but those words. “I’ll say it a million more times, if it will convince you of how much I love you.” He moved his hands back up to hold my face. “Because I do, I love you, I love you, I love you and I’ll never stop loving you.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“I love you too...I have for a while.”

“That is the most heavenly thing I have ever heard you say.” He had this huge smile on his face and I couldn’t help but smile back at him. And this time when we kissed it felt different, I had pushed all the doubts and fears aside for one blissful moment. “Say it again?” He asked when he pulled away.

“I love you.”

“I will never get tired of hearing that and I love you too.”

“Bucky—”

“Don’t say anything yet. I know that you probably have a lot going through your mind right now, but if you’re willing, just stick with me a little while longer.”

“Don’t think for a second that I would give up so easily. What we have is worth a lot more than one mistake and two weeks without seeing each other.”

“I’m really glad to hear that. And I know that you’re about to have some fittings, but I would love to take you out for lunch...and maybe explain some things.”

“Anything with food is a win for me.”

“I see how I rank.” I laughed at him and moved out of his embrace for the first time since he walked in.

“So what are you going to do for the next three hours?”

“Well I was thinking about getting a room in a hotel nearby, take a nap, shower, change.”

“I was about to ask where you were taking me for lunch, you know, considering the fact that you’re wearing a tuxedo.”

“Yeah…” He laughed a bit at his outfit, “I picked it out for you, but then you didn’t come to filming so of course I had to wear it here. And despite the romantic that makes me out to be I do have to admit that I came straight here so I didn’t really think about changing. I really just kind of took advantage of the circumstance.”

This time I laughed at him, this was definitely the man that I loved. “Well, I like it a lot and I love a good romantic gesture. But to give you as much time as possible, you are more than welcome to go to my hotel room and do whatever you need to. I will say though, I need you to be back to the theatre by 1:00 if we’re going to get as much time as possible for lunch.”

“That I think I can do.”

“Good, so go get a nap in because you look exhausted.”

“Thanks.”

“Your welcome.”

I grabbed my bag and gave him my room key before he left. Nakia came back in and had this smile on her face, I didn’t say anything to her about it, I just spent the time I had left getting ready for the fittings.

And as fittings usually go, there wasn’t much to say. The three girls who came in today were incredibly nice and took the hour they were allotted to ask questions and to try on their looks for the show. Nakia explained when they would be wearing certain costumes and I made sure to take note of anything that I would need, as well as everything that still needed to be done. The only thing that didn’t settle when I saw Bucky for the first time, was how real the fittings made this feel. I was leaving LA, I was leaving my friends and the worst of all was that I was leaving Bucky. I knew that these three would always be there, but the idea of getting on the road and living out my dream made me torn inside.

I had taken this job because I thought I was alone, that I could head out and be completely fine, cut myself off from the world and from everyone who had ever left me or done wrong by me. But being with Bucky, no matter how fake the show had been, made my whole world better. He made me want to be happy, he made me push myself, and he gave me everything I had ever dreamed of, even if he didn’t realize it.

Before the third fitting was done, having luckily caught Bucky before he left the hotel, I texted him and asked if we could just order lunch from room service and stay in. Of course he was on board with that, but I just didn’t want to have a conversation like this in public. The short walk back to the hotel gave me the confidence to say exactly what I planned to, running everything in my head before stepping into the lobby.

I took the elevator up to the room and knocked on the door, waiting only a couple of seconds for him to open.

“Hey.” He said, already looking a lot better after a nap and shower, I could only assume. He was simply wearing jeans and a henley, but it was the way that the henley hugged his muscles that distracted me from what he had just said, my mind completely dropping all of the preparations I had just done moments ago.

He stepped out of the way to let me into the room, still looking at me for some kind of response. “Hi.” I managed to get out as he closed the door behind me and took my things from me. I watched as he did, having to remind myself, after the three hour break from each other, that he was actually here.

“See something you like?” He asked, when I hadn’t torn my gaze away from him. He just smiled at me, making his way back over to me.

“You.” I said, feeling relief at the fact that I didn’t need to hide what I felt for him anymore. I could so simply say that I liked him, so simply gawk at how handsome he was, it was a nice feeling.

“Me?”

“Who else would I look at?” Now standing in front of me he leaned down and kissed me, wrapping his arms around my waist and really distracting me from the actual objective of this lunch.

I pulled away. “Bucky…” Even though I was smiling, I tried to give him a serious look, letting him know that I meant business.

“What? It was your fault.”

“My fault?”

“Don’t start something you don’t have time to finish.”

“Me?”

“Yes you, you were the one watching me...thinking about me.”

“You were the one who put on the tightest shirt you owned.”

“I see how it is.”

“Bucky…”

“I’m kidding. But it is noted that you like my shirt.” He winked at me and gave me one of those heart stopping smiles.

“Let’s order lunch before you get me into any more trouble.”

So we climbed up on the bed and grabbed the menu, quickly ordering before things got serious.

“So…” He started.

“So…”

“I definitely owe you an explanation.” The happy look on his face had completely disappeared.

“You know that this isn’t going to change the way that I feel about you.”

“I just don’t want you to be upset again.”

“Believe it or not, I think that putting what happened behind me is the best thing I can do right now.”

“Really?”

“I would like to know what happened though.”

“Okay...the morning after our date, I woke up before you did so that I could make you breakfast. Honestly, the best part of that morning was just how beautiful you looked, how peaceful you were, and just remembering everything about that night, how wonderful it all was. I went downstairs to the kitchen and right as I got there, my phone went off. I kind of figured it was someone from the network so I didn’t answer at first, figuring I could deal with them when I got back, but they kept calling. So I finally answered.

“It was a representative from the legal department and...and they told me that they knew that we were seeing each other and that they had proof. I didn’t know what it was at the time, but they obviously had video from the kiss in the wardrobe trailer. At first I tried to dispute it, but he kept going on about how it was in violation of your contract to date a coworker. Initially I thought that it would be an easy fix, that we would just have to keep us under wraps while at work. It was when he started talking about Jackson that I realized that this was a real problem.

“He told me that there had been some legal issues right after they arrested him. His lawyer tried to get him released on the grounds that I had assaulted him, that the whole thing had just been a misunderstanding between the two of us. Of course Asa fixed everything, but because I had punched him at work on network property, it was the network’s responsibility to protect me. So there’s the first strike against us.”

“The first?”

“The second one being all the time off you had. With your accident, you not being able to work and there only being the two of you, they had to start paying Wanda overtime for all the extra hours she was coming in. Not to mention they were still paying you because it was an accident you had no control over.”

“Please tell me that that’s it.”

“No...this one is my fault again. The thing with Chloe kind of blew up. First of all the ambulance and medical costs automatically went to the network because you were injured by a coworker on network property. They had planned on suing Chloe at first because she was the one at fault and there were a ton of witnesses that saw what happened. But her lawyer was counter suing because there was a grey area when it came to whether or not you were actually still working for the network or if your paid leave meant that you werent. Then there was the question on whether she actually did anything to you that harmed you or if it was all because you were sick before you came in that morning.”

“God, what a mess.”

“A very big legal mess and really a lot to keep from you, especially after having always told you everything. I understand that you would be upset.”

“I’m more upset that I was kept out of this, not really the fact that you didn’t tell me. I can understand a gag order and the reasons for upholding that. But you shouldn’t have had to handle that on your own.”

“Strangely enough, there were actually three gag orders.”

“Three?”

“Anything legal that happened with the network was heavily protected because they didn’t want any news outlets to get word of all the legal issues that they had with this show. The first gag order came from Jackson’s lawsuit, the second from Chloe’s, and the third from ours.”

“Ours?”

“More or less. The thing with Jackson was my fault, kicking Chloe off the show was my fault—”

“None of this is your fault.”

“I have to take some, that’s kind of why it’s ours and not just yours. That morning, I had to think quick and I obviously made a decision that wasn’t ideal. But after everything that he told me, after everything that you just went through, I couldn’t let the network take what your father had left for you. I had an inkling of what I had to do but I didn’t want to get to that point, so I called a different lawyer, not wanting to take Peggy away from you, and got a professional opinion.

“He told me that the only way for this to go away was to take away the only thing that they had on us, which was the idea that the reason I did what I did, was for you. And the only way I could think of doing that was to make you really mad at me, so that you wouldn’t talk to me. But he also said that there was no other option than to pick someone on the show and finish the contract.”

“I was going to ask you about that.”

“I chose Ulani.”

“I thought you would.”

“Well her girlfriend was very understanding so that was nice.”

“What?” I was completely shocked. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah. Ulani actually came to me and told me all about Diana and how they were in the exact same situation as we were, she wanted to help out. It was also nice to have someone to talk to about everything, well what I could talk about, but it was also nice because I knew that she wasn’t trying to be with me.”

“Wait, Diana...from props?”

“Yeah.”

“I would have never thought. When you said that you chose Ulani I felt a little jealous, but I’m really happy to hear that she’s happy with someone else. Not to mention, Diana is a total sweetheart.”

“You’re cute when you’re jealous.” He leaned over and kissed me quickly. “But no need to worry, because I choose you and I’m always going to choose you. I think the question is...are you going to choose me too?”

“Bucky, like I said before I’m not that upset anymore. The truth is I want to be with you, you’ve made me happier than anyone I’ve ever dated and honestly I can’t imagine my life without you. This...us, was always a little too real. In that world of fake words and plastic personalities, I couldn’t even begin to believe that I had met someone as incredible as you. It’s why I never said anything to you, I felt like we were stuck in a fantasy and that at any moment I would wake up and my reality would be without you. I should have known better because you are the most real thing I’ve ever had. But the fantasy is over and this is the real world...and you’re here.”

“I’m here for good.”

“But there are things to consider, things that change things, very real things.”

“No matter what ‘things’ you have going through that head of yours, I’m still not going anywhere.”

“But—“

“What are you thinking about?”

“A lot.”

“Give me one.”

“Well...the biggest one, my job. I may have taken this job when I was sad and not in the right headspace, but this is my life and I’m about to go on tour for more than a year. I hate to even think about it, but every relationship I have ever had has fallen apart under the pressure and quite frankly the distance, including mine with you. I mean, no matter what I did or how much I loved someone... they still left. If you left again...I love you so much that I don’t think I would make it through again.” I was starting to get really emotional.

“I’m here for every bump and curve, for every good moment and bad. What can I do to convince you that I’m not going anywhere?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know the first thing about a normal relationship. I don’t know how to quiet this anxiety and worry running through my head and I’m scared that I’ll do something to mess everything up.”

“Nothing you could do would ever scare me away. It was absolutely amazing to have you so close to me these past couple of months, a dream really. We’ve gone through more together as friends than most couples ever have to deal with and we were by each other’s side the whole time, disregarding the legal stuff. Our relationship is the most real thing I have ever experienced and transitioning into something more will come with its challenges. But just because we aren’t close to each other doesn’t mean that I don’t love you or want to be near you every second of every day. Just because we’ve been through some of the toughest things doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t go through more or even less with you. You are my everything...and you don’t give that up once you find it.”

“Really?”

“Really. I know it may be tough sometimes and we’ll figure things out as we go but I can’t imagine doing it with anyone else.”

“Me either.”

This time when he kissed me there was a relief that hadn’t been there before. No, we didn’t have everything figured out and we didn’t know the answers to every question we had but for the first time none of that seemed to matter, the fact that we loved each other was enough. And that was enough to push the doubts away.

“So I have a proposal then.” I said between kisses.

“Did you get me a ring?” He smiled at me and I laughed at him. “I’m kidding. What’s your proposal?”

“Can we just...start over...in a sense?”

“What do you mean?”

“You were my best friend for months and even though we were fighting our feelings for each other, there was something so pure between us. I feel like lately all we’ve had are awkward conversations and the occasional small talk. I never wanted us to get there, I don’t want anything between us to be awkward or tense, we’ve never been that way before.”

“I don’t want to be that way either.”

“Good. But the reason I ask is because of something my dad said. I’ve been thinking about him a lot and…” I paused, trying my best to keep my emotions at bay; he placed his hand on mine, giving me a small but great comfort. “The call that he had made to me, that day of our kiss in the trailer, I asked him about you after you left. He told me that only some people are lucky enough to find the person that they will spend the rest of their life with and honestly I think I got really lucky with you.”

“You got lucky with me? No, I got lucky with you, I never thought that you would love me.”

“Well, I do. And I want to put these last two weeks behind us and I want to have a first date where you’re not forced to disappear in the morning. I want to start fresh on the boyfriend/girlfriend front, so we don’t have to think about what happened.”

“Okay.”

“But that means that you have to come up with an even better first date.”

“Challenge accepted...I’ve got all of New York for ideas.”

“I’m off Monday.” I moved closer to him on the bed.

“Perfect.” His face, his lips moved even closer...

“I love you.”

“I love you.” And our kiss, was one of a new beginning.

****

BUCKY’S POV

I thought that I was going to have a harder time trying to convince Y/N that I hadn’t completely screwed up. I had already been feeling terrible about everything, doubting if she was ever going to give me a chance again, but getting what happened out in the open seemed to really help things. There was time to figure out the logistics of our relationship, there was time to get answers and time to fix the doubts; that would come with loving each other and diving head first into an actual relationship with Y/N. She had given me a second chance and that’s all I could have asked for. I would spend a lifetime making up to her these past two weeks, but lucky for me it seemed like that was already moving to the past.

So with the conversation done for the moment, and everything seemingly good between us, we ate our lunch, made some small talk, and she got ready to head back to work. Which meant that I needed to find something to do for the next four hours.

“I don’t suppose that you would want to come with me? We’re just watching the show and then there will be a production meeting afterwards. You can’t come to that but I’m sure I could sneak you in for the show.”

Or maybe not.

“Yeah I would love to go.”

So we headed back to the theatre and met up with Nakia before heading into the “house” as they call it. We sat in the middle of the orchestra level and Y/N grabbed a notepad, pen, and a huge stack of notes. Nakia had her laptop, a walkie talkie and her own huge stack of notes.

We didn’t have to wait long for them to start the show, they didn’t want to waste any time, seeing as, according to Y/N, the show was two and a half hours long. The opening number started and the cast came out on stage in there street clothes and though it was underwhelming without the spectacle of costumes and whatnot, they started out strong and sounded great. But let me tell you, for a crew watch there sure was a lot of talking.

It seemed like Nakia and Y/N had something to talk about every time someone walked on or off stage, which was frequent. Not only that but there was a tech table, as Y/N had explained earlier, that was constantly calling cues and talking about something that needed to be fixed. So if I was going to have to listen to people talk amongst the singing I opted to listen to Y/N, at least that way I would be learning something new about her job.

And tuning in, I definitely had a lot to learn. The lingo was the biggest thing, there were a lot of things I’m sure that didn’t get used outside of a theatre: pit pads, doubles, gondola and gondola village (she couldn't mean a boat right), DeLuca’s, tap mics, wings, ASM, PSM, DSM, Dead clothes, Prop box, on deck, preset baskets, tech week, 10 of 12 day, and more.

The whole thing seemed pretty confusing to me but I tried my best to catch on to what I could and I made note of things to ask about later. And then we got to intermission.

“You doing okay?” She asked me when the house lights came back up and I could really see her.

“Yeah, I find it kind of weird though that you’re supposed to be watching the show and yet everyone is talking.”

“Unfortunately that’s just how everything works when we’re this close to opening.”

“I was able to hear some of the things you were talking about but I didn’t understand most of it.”

“Yeah, there’s a lot more to theatre than there is to film...at least in Wardrobe.”

“Seems like it.”

“That and there’s a lot more that goes into a traveling production, we want to make sure that we have whatever we need for anything that could happen.”

So for the next fifteen minutes of intermission I asked Y/N questions about the things that I noticed and then it was on to Act 2.

This time around I didn’t have nearly as many questions and everyone seemed a little quieter this time around. It was nice to just pay attention to the show and to laugh at all the jokes and smile at the crazy musical number that happened towards the end. One thing's for sure, I was definitely going to get tickets to see this show.

Sooner than expected this time around, the show finished and the actors all came out on stage. The director quickly went up and started to give notes so that they could leave as soon as he was done, Y/N explained. So while he spoke to the actors, all of the technical crew started to gather around the tech table with notepads and the like.

“So why don’t you go and wait out in the lobby for me? Maybe find somewhere we can go for dinner.” She said to me.

“That I can do.”

“I’ll be out as soon as I can.”

“Okay.” So I walked out and found a bench to sit on in the lobby, pulled out my phone and started to look around the area for a good place to eat dinner.

NAKIA: Hey. Just heard from T and it looks like he’s getting off at the same time we are. Double date?

BUCKY: Sounds good to me. Any places in mind?

NAKIA: Yeah. I’ll have T make a reservation.

BUCKY: Great.

Not having a distraction anymore, certainly did make sitting in the lobby by myself that much longer. And yet somewhere amongst the waiting the actors came out and made their way out of the theatre.

For some reason I thought I had been in the clear once the show was over. I thought that the world would forget about me and move on to another bachelor. I should have assumed differently.

Pretty much all of the girls came over to me and started asking me questions about the show and asking to take a photo with me. I didn’t really want to be in any photos, because I knew that once they posted them, someone would have something to say about me being in New York the day after the show ended and not with Ulani. But I did want to be nice to them so that when they found out I was with Y/N they wouldn’t be rude to her or to me when I visited.

So I took the pictures and answered there questions and hoped that this wouldn’t all explode in my face. But the question that they all seemed to be asking was why I was in New York, let alone a closed rehearsal for a touring show.

I wasn’t exactly sure what Y/N wanted me to say, so instead of saying something that could possibly get us both in trouble I told them that I was here for work and that a friend of mine was working the tour. I would explain what happened to Y/N later.

But when that was over and they all left me alone I decided to hide myself from anyone else and play around on my phone until Y/N was done.

Which was much later.

I had fallen asleep by that point, laying in the most awkward position on the bench. Despite having slept earlier, even if it had been really short, I didn’t think that I would pass out waiting for Y/N.

I woke up to the feeling of her lips on mine, even if it was just a peck, and when I opened my eyes, I saw her beautiful face and a smile that stole my heart.

“Hi, Mr. Sleepyhead.” She was sitting on the ground next to me, her fingers running through my hair.

“I didn’t mean to fall asleep.” I smiled back at her and moved to sit up.

“I know. Are you ready go?”

“I am if you are.”

I stood up and helped her off the ground and then we made our way back to the hotel to change for dinner.

“So, I hope you don’t mind but Nakia texted me earlier and asked if we wanted to go to dinner with her and her boyfriend, you know like a double date. She set up a reservation for us at this place, but if you’re not up for it I would understand.”

“No, I’m good for a double date. But I am more curious to know how you know Nakia.”

“I don’t know her, not really, I know her boyfriend. We kind of went to school together.”

“Kind of?”

“Yeah. I went to MIT, he went to Harvard. We met at a bar our Freshman year and then moved in together after that. We lived together until we both graduated and have been friends ever since.”

“Well then I’m excited to meet him.”

“I’m sure you’ll like him.”

We made it back to the hotel and into our room, Y/N going straight into the closet to grab her dress for the night and the iron and board.

“Why don’t you let me do that?” I asked, taking the board from her hands and setting it up.

“You want to press my dress for me.”

“You’ve had a long day and you should relax.”

“You fell asleep on a bench earlier, if anyone should relax it should be you.”

“That? That was a power nap. I feel fine…” I took the iron from her hands and moved her back towards the bed. “Let me help, you relax.”

“Ok. But I’m going to go fix my hair first, I wasn’t really in the mood to do anything with it this morning.”

“You look beautiful just the way you are.” I stepped in front of her, blocking her path to the bathroom.

“Thank you.” She reached up and kissed me...I would never get over that.

In a moment of sheer distraction she passed by me and went into the bathroom, leaving me with the pressing. So I got to work.

The dress was a beautiful shade of blue, I could only imagine that it would look amazing on Y/N, but I might of bit off more than expected. The dress was long and there was a lot to the skirt, not to mention near impossible to get the top let alone the sleeves. But I wasn’t going to let Y/N down and I told her that I would get it done, even if it did take me longer than it would have if she had done it.

She must have been watching me for sometime because I could hear her trying to hold back her laughter when I couldn’t figure out the best way to get the front of the dress pressed with its wrap style.

“Bucky, please let me help.”

“No, I got it.” Then I felt her hands on top of mine, slowly prying the iron from my hands.

“We need to leave soon and you still need to get dressed. Thank you for pressing my dress.”

“But I didn’t finish.”

“Just a little advice...I usually do the top first so that the skirt doesn’t get wrinkled. Also it’s a lot easier to go back through when it’s hung up and just let them steam from the iron get the wrinkles out of the top.”

“Good to know.”

So as she finished her dress, I went into the restroom and put my suit on, having already pressed it earlier and took a couple of minutes to fix my hair back into place.

I walked out into the main room and quickly stopped in my place. I probably should have said something or gone back into the bathroom but I was completely frozen in place.

Seeing Y/N in her bra and underwear shouldn’t be weird right? I mean I had seen her in less...a lot less and she had definitely seen me the same way. And yet she amazed me. She was just so simply getting dressed, an everyday action, but seeing her in this way, in a way that no one else got to, made me feel a greater love for her. I got to see her scars and imperfections, I saw her past painted on her skin and I saw the insecurities she tried to hide with clothing. Everyone got to see her strength and her confidence, but I was lucky enough to see everything that they didn’t. And knowing that, having finally admitted my love for her, I couldn’t help but stare and become even more entranced by her beauty and just wonder how I had somehow won her heart.

“See something you like?” She turned around to face me, obviously knowing that I was behind her, still with a glowing smile on her face.

“You.” I said smiling back at her.

“Well that is definitely something we should bring up later, but now we have to go.” She winked at me and I couldn’t help but laugh at her. God I was doomed, this woman would be the death of me.

We both put on our shoes and headed down to our ride to the restaurant. I opened the door for her and slid in right next to her, and as soon as we were settled and on our way, Y/N grabbed my hand and held it in hers.

We didn’t really talk on the drive. It wasn’t that we didn’t want to talk to each other, it was that there wasn’t anything to say. We had talked about the biggest elephant in the room and despite how complicated I had made things, we had come to an understanding about everything. We weren’t 100% good and we would still have our issues but for now, we were fine, we had each other. Everything else would come with time.

We pulled up in front of the restaurant and I helped her out of the car, before escorting her into the restaurant. I gave the hostess my name and she showed us to our table which was already occupied by Nakia and T’Challa. I walked over to him first and gave him a big hug, I couldn’t even remember the last time I had seen him.

“Hey Buck.”

“Hey T.” I said. “Or is it your highness now?”

“One article called me that and now I can’t seem to escape it.”

“I have to admit that it suits you.”

“Yeah...whatever. How have you been?”

“I’m doing great.” The four of us sat down at the table and our hostess placed menus in front of us before leaving us alone.

“You know, Nakia and I watched your show.”

“Did you? Well, don’t believe everything you see. I ended up a lot luckier than I did on the show.” I reached out for Y/N’s hand and she placed hers in mine, we both smiled at each other. “But...forgetting about the show, this is Y/N, my girlfriend. Y/N, this is my friend T’Challa, you probably know him as the King of Broadway.”

“If you want to stay friends, you’ll stop calling me that.”

“I don’t want to be a fangirl but I saw you as Coalhouse in Ragtime and your performance was outstanding, absolutely incredible.” Y/N said to him.

“Thank you, that was actually my first lead role on broadway, and it was the show where I met Nakia.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, she was the Wardrobe Supervisor and I was the actor—”

“And the rest is history.” Nakia finished. She reached over and grabbed his hand, just like I had with Y/N.

Our waiter came over to our table and took our drink orders and then headed over to the bar. And then Nakia asked the question that I’m sure was on both of their minds.

“Ever since you called me, I’ve been very curious about the two of you. So I have to know...what’s your story?” She said referring to the two of us.

“That is a...very complicated question.” I said with a smile on my face.

I looked over at Y/N and the feeling that I felt looking at her, out to dinner with our friends, and free from everyone holding us back, was the best feeling in the world. I never wanted this feeling to leave, this feeling of complete and utter love for someone else, the feeling that I would do absolutely anything to see that smile on her face or hear her laugh fill a room. I had known before that she would be my world but now there was no doubt that she was my everything, and that was an incredible feeling.

“Our story? Well...it all started with an interview.” She began.

****

EPILOGUE

Tell Me What You Think Here

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