Robin: Grandma!
Sidney: Hi, honey.
Robin: Hi.
Sidney: Watcha doing?
[Robin wasn’t sure anymore, but he needed to ask something. He wasn’t used to talking to his grandmother though-.. even though he could, it always felt weird and forced. He decided he’d probably just have to be blunt]
Robin: Can I ask you something?
Sidney: Shoot.
Robin: Can we keep it a secret? I don’t want mom n’ dad to know I asked…
Sidney: I can keep a secret.
[Sidney found a sheltered spot behind a rock and patted the sand beside her; Robin had barely taken a seat before launching his question at his grandmother, catching her off guard]
Robin: Has papa ever died-.. or come close?
[Sidney blinked, blindsided by Robin’s question]
Robin: I wanna know the truth too, like.. don’t do that thing grown-ups do n’ coat everything in syrup.
Sidney: You really want the non-sugar-coated version..?
Robin: Yeah.
[Sidney squinted at Robin, unsure how to proceed. He could tell she didn’t think it was her place to tell him]
Sidney: Why haven’t you asked your father?
Robin: I don’t want to.
Sidney: He’d tell you, if you asked-.. he’d be grateful for it too.
Robin: Grateful? Why?
[Sidney sucked her teeth and buried her hands in the sand for a moment, thinking]
Sidney: Your dad and I never saw eye to eye when he was young, sometimes we still don’t-.. he didn’t trust me enough to talk to me, and I didn’t bother asking, or fixing it. It’s caused a lot of problems between us, so I think he’d appreciate you trusting him enough to ask.
Robin: It’ll upset him though.
Sidney: Well, tough-.. he can’t hide his past from you forever, he should know by now it always comes n’ bites you on the ass eventually.
[Robin frowned, feeling defensive on behalf of his father]
Robin: He wanted to tell me.
Sidney: You’ve already asked?
[Robin shook his head, earning himself a confused look from Sidney; everything was so hard to explain when you had to tiptoe around the truth]
Robin: I want you to tell me.
Sidney: I’ll tell you on one condition-.. you ask him about it too. He’ll have my guts for garters if he knew I’d told you and kept it from him. I can’t keep this particular secret, I’m afraid.
Robin: Fine.
[Sidney shook her head and sighed; she couldn’t believe she’d been talked into this nonsense by a ten-year-old]
Sidney: Yes, he almost died-.. technically he did, but that’s just a medical thing, I suppose.
Robin: Did you save him?
Sidney: No.. I was there, but I couldn’t.
Robin: Why not?
Sidney: I just couldn’t do it; I was a mess! You can’t imagine how it felt, seeing him-…
[Sidney cut herself off, not wanting to go too far-.. but Robin didn’t need to imagine how it felt, he could feel it too. He quickly swallowed the lump in his throat, desperate to know more before his brain imploded with unanswered questions and half-truths]
Robin: What happened? How’d he end up like that?
Sidney: Well…
Robin: I know about the bad stuff he used to do-.. he drank a lot, was it that? It was in a bar or something, right?
Sidney: He’s told you about that?
[Robin shrugged; his father had only alluded to such things, but Sidney didn’t need to know that, nor did she need to know what Larry had inadvertently shown him]
Sidney: Oscar had a lot of issues with drugs and alcohol when he was younger-.. it almost got the better of him that night, I think he just went too far by accident.
Robin: So, it wasn’t on purpose?
Sidney: Not exactly.
Robin: What do you mean?
Sidney: He knew the risks-.. but you really shouldn’t be asking about this sort of thing, honey.
Robin: Just ‘cause I’m little doesn’t mean I can’t understand.
[Sidney chuckled; the apple certainly didn’t fall far from the tree. Robin was just as headstrong and persistent as his father]
Sidney: Maybe not, but you should be climbing trees and thinking about what’s for pudding-.. don’t worry yourself about all this stuff too much. Not yet, at least.
Robin: It’s hard not to-.. did he get better after what happened?
Sidney: For a while, then he got worse, then he got better again-.. go n’ talk to him, he’ll make you feel better about what happened. He’s had a good handle on himself for a while now; since before you were born, if I’m not mistaken.
Robin: That’s a long time.
Sidney: It sure is.
Robin: It never really leaves though, does it? Not completely.
[Sidney hesitated briefly, surprised by the depth of Robin’s understanding]
Sidney: No, not really.
Robin: Okay, thanks.
[Sidney yanked Robin back into the sand before he could run off]
Sidney: Don’t make me be the one to tell him about this-.. you talk to him, you hear me?
Robin: I hear you…
Sidney: You better! Don’t think I won’t make sure.
[Robin nodded, hastily escaping Sidney’s grasp, and her intensity. He had no choice now; if grandma Sid said she meant business, she damn well meant it]
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I think about the consequences of the fake execution scene a little too much. I'm not sure if a blank that close could cause damage that isn't noticeable besides maybe hearing loss or tinnitus. And I'm sure if it was mild enough, Light would be too stubborn to tell anyone about it. The Task Force would probably assume he's in the clouds or ignoring them. I can't decide if L would catch on immediately to hearing loss or if it would take him a bit because he too is annoyed that Light isn't even arguing back half of the time.
But also the psychological trauma from it is something that would have been so interesting for O&O to dive into but ofc they didn't. It could manifest in many different ways too:
An NPA officer Light that can't even bring himself to unholster his firearm.
An NPA officer Light that struggles to make it through basic training.
The stress of Kira bringing back how he felt during the incident
Being so on edge around his father
Preferring public transport to cars and doing whatever he can to avoid cars
Hearing his father yelling/raising his voice at a fellow officer causing him to break down in the bathroom
Finding it hard to look his father in the eye
Avoiding riding in a car with Soichiro at all
And I wonder if Soichiro would notice Light struggling at all. Especially during Yotsuba because I imagine the first few months after would be the hardest:
Soichiro feeling too guilty or noticing his son acting distant so he backs off. But he doesn't know how to communicate how sorry he is so he says nothing
Maybe L doesn't really care at first when Light has nightmares or wakes up sobbing, but slowly realizes what this has done to someone he's starting to consider his friend. Maybe L pretends not to care so he doesn't feel the guilt that's welling inside him. He's not used to feeling guilt.
Light being jumpy and trying his best to not flinch when someone tries to get his attention
Just staring off into space or dissociating until someone asks if he's done on the spreadsheet yet
Trying to not let it show that he's freaking out in the ambulance on the way to Matsuda
L eventually trying to comfort Light after his nightmares but he's shit at it. But Light feels appreciative anyway
After L dies, Light doesn't have anyone to comfort him. He thinks sometimes, when he wakes up from a nightmare and turns to see Misa sleeping beside him, that she would understand because she went through the same thing, but he is too prideful and doesn't value her enough to wake her up or go to her.
Soichiro tries to not think about how Light doesn't want to be alone with him or ride in a car with him
I dunno, I just think it's something so interesting that isn't explored a lot.
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