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#I can’t deal with this shit
garlique · 3 days ago
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tw for suicide and self harm in tags !! pls just scroll !!
#my mood swings have been so terrible lately and i feel so bad abt it lmao#they usually aren't this like? extreme?#like normally i just kinda swing from side to side of the same line of bland sadness#n i get happy for a few minutes n i get deeply sad for a few minutes but it's always like so minimal that i can just play it off n hide it#but its just so extreme now and i feel so awful because its literally impossible to hide#like literally one minute ive been like 'wow this is the happiest ive ever felt' and then the next its like#if anyone moves or makes any noise or talks to me im going to start sobbing#and then like 30 min later its like i viscerally hate everyone ive interacted with today so much i want to scream#like miss girl WHAT is going on in there !!!! i hate this !!!!#literally nothing makes me happy like everything just makes me so angry#like literally everything. literally everything. literally everything. i can't think of a single thing that i couldn't be angry about#im SO FUCKING READY TO BE DONE WITH THIS SEMESTER HOLY SHIT#AAAAAAAAAAAAA I JUST GOT SO MAD#LITERALLY when i started typing this post i was like on the verge of tears and now im so blistering angry holy shit holy shit#i hate this !!!! ooh i want to die so BAD lmao#i always stop cutting when i get like. this unhappy/suicidal#twould b very sexy if i could like .... engage in the coping mechanism i specifically developed to deal with emotional overwhelm#god im gonna unalive this fucking sucks i hate living like this#the other really stressful part of this is that i don't#you know what never mind . cannot keep shoving my emotional shit into other people . this is all me babey !!!
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wrathfulfawn · 4 days ago
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:) i am just going to start physically attacking people now i think
#please i am so enraged all the time now <3 shits funny tbh#like i cannot express just how physically like anxious and restless and genuinely enraged i am like nonstop <3#im fr going to snap i cannot stand anything or anyone anymore like get me out of here#im going to start being violent if anyone acts up at me like i mean it#cannot take this shit anymore i wont lie <3 i do not feel anything but rage anymore#i cannot fucking Stand being here like i rly can't#everythig is so fucking infuriating i do not know what i am going to do if this shit doesnt change soon like reality#like schizo ass moment or whayever but this isnt me this isnt my world i dont fucking belong here and frankly it is enraging#i cannot be brought to give half a shit anymore im just so fucking mad and unable to cope w being here#i do not want to accept this as reality bc i swear to god if it is im going to kill#if this is the rest of my life i will fr just start beating the shit out of anyone who doesnt know how to act#they need to put me on mood stabilisers again i wont lie like i am going to snap#moss.exe#i feel like im fucking exploding like physically i am jusr so ohh....#like i cannot word any of this right tbh bc none of u get it bc its ''not based in reality'' or whatever like shut rhe fuck up if this is#reality i am going to lose it fr like the only thing keeping me from acting out is the belief that this is still going to change to what it#needs to be and hoo boy i mean it i will snap if i have to deal with this much longer#i just genuinely cannot fucking take any of this anymore#like i mean it now if literally everything doesnt change real soon im going to snap i dont know how but i am <3#someone needs to inject horse tranqs directly into my brain im over it im ohh#im so fucking mad like i mean it if i cannot escape this real soon im just. ohhhhhh#edit: im just so genuinely fucking mad im not me as well#like dysphoria wise or whatever#im not me and i hate it so fucking much. everything is wrong#i think some of this is triggered by my current hyperfixation as its more me than i think i will have to accept i will ever be#and frankly it hurts#it reminds me of wjere i belong too#it really hurts. i just need things to change just in ways i think i will have to accept they neber will and i cant and it aches so much#nothing i do will ever be enough because it doesn't fundamentally change things. im exhausted i dont want to be stuck like this anymore#please i just need to be me. i cant accept that this is reality thar in this reality i cant ever be me how i am how where i belong is. pleas
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kitkatidkwhy · 4 days ago
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Welp, time to get the eye bleach 💃
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ermuellert · 8 days ago
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i will fucking cry if this is just a repeat of the first leg
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octofoilflingza · 11 days ago
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oh
good
impostor’s in the shower
i can have a breakdown in peace for once
#daitex.t#mlergh#safety pins for imperfections#having said breakdown in the tags. you've been notified ///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////#///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////#can't even last a week without all these shitty feelings coming back again#amazing#really fucking goes to show how far i've come huh#how fucking far i've come in what regard? being this fucking pathetic??? can't manage a simple fucking homework assignment?????????????????#can't manage to fucking TAKE SOME NOTES#CAN'T MANAGE TO JUST DEAL WITH ONE GODDAMN CLASS FOR 40 MINUTES AND TAKE SOME NOTES SO I CAN ACTUALLY /DO SHIT????????????????????????????/#it's not that hard it's not that HARD i'm just a piece of shit person that can't get anything accomplished#unless it's linked to one of my interests!!!!!#there was a specific post i reblogged a while ago that was like#what people with adhd say vs what people without adhd interpret it as#one of them was the interpretation from 'it's hard to do stuff that isn't linked to your interests' and it was something like#'your interests matter more than what's actually important'#and that doesn't apply for a lot of people who've got this#but it SURE AS FUCK applies to me. honest to god i've wanted to just do what i wanna do for the longest time#because it's so obvious to me that i'm doing my best in most regards when left alone to my own devices#haha. maybe i should fucking become a twitch streamer or something.#(note this isn't me saying twitch streamers are bad. just very upset rn)#as if it's not something i've thought about. that and youtube and just... getting somewhere#in the areas i want to do stuff in#i don't know how i'm already this far in my life.#in just a few years i think everything will fall apart.#and surprising nobody#i'll be alone
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thesetemplebones · 12 days ago
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please know that @sergiosfc is the nastiest skank bitch and also she tried to say j*hn st*nes was better bc he's tall when
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sukunalogy · 12 days ago
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Whoever recommended me my lesbian experience with loneliness:
1. Why?
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