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#I can’t stop crying about ugly I am
bo0zey · 1 year
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anyone else ever get in those silly goofy moods where u just hate urself sooo much that u instantly feel physically almost violently ill just thinking abt urself and also even tho u worked a 12hr shift w no breaks or water running off of the 2 cups of coffee u had for breakfast 20 hours ago, the thought of eating instantly sends bouts of nausea coursing thru ur soul while churning in ur stomach bc ur brain hates u so much that its convinced ur body that u don’t deserve sustenance or anything else that’s life sustaining or promotes ur physical well being because u subconsciously convinced urself that ur such a shit excuse for a human being that u neither deserve nor have any right to anything regarding maslow’s hierarchy of needs bc u r such an awful thing u deserve to be neglected n treated like the nonliving object ur own brain sees ur living body as or am i just mentally ill lol
#laying in bed everytime i think abt myself i feel literally nauseated n like it’s so weird#this feeling comes in waves intermittently just even .01 sec of ‘hm i’m hungry’ FFFFFNOPE HRRGRHFFF VOMITTY#i want to curl up in a ball and die forever i don’t care about me i don’t want to take care of me anymore i’m not even good at it#whyyyyyyyy did i stop taking my meddsssssss i guarantee y’all this is why i’m being such a crybaby on the dash lmaoooo#i have a headache i’m def dehydrated from crying n sniveling n barely drinking any water today while sweating like a mf at work#imma go to bed 🛌 if i don’t wake up i will be soooo pleasantly surprised y’all have no idea FINGERS CROSSED🤞#real talk tho can someone tell me why my body is literally reacting this way for like no real reason#like am i truly that disgusted with myself i make myself nauseous just thinking abt me#ok yeah the answer is yes lol BUT LIKE WHY THATS SUCH A DRAMATIC BODILY RESPONSE TO MY BRAINS DUMBASS THOUGHTS???#ik the body and mind have a super powerful link n the brain influences the body like crazy but like#why this why does my brain literally want me to berate and degrade myself and isolate me and make me cry alone n starve me that’s so mean#i’m not starving btw i’m literally always eating just these past 2 days i’ve been such a fuckup my body won’t let me do anything#i had a chocolate poptart for dinner last night (thurs) n threw myself to bed#i hope i don’t end up hurting myself that would be so lame#i literally don’t have time for that like i am Not doing wound care duty off the clock for my damn self lol#also don’t want to take care of myself so i wouldn’t bandage myself up properly sooo yeah i’m not gonna do anything actually#cleaning ur wounds r super important ok yall ur literally playing god if u don’t do good aftercare snfjfbdj#i can’t believe i’m in this nasty ugly depressive episode i hate this so much i don’t have time for this i hate this cycle#i hate being bipolar 2 n my moods n meds have been so fkcdd up lately that i don’t even have the rlly fun hypomanic episodes anymore#i’ve just been constantly having mixed episodes im unbearable to be around im so sorry for everyone that’s ever spoken to me im insufferable#ok that’s enough im done being dramatic lmao#im gonna give myself a bolus PRN dose of clonnie then i’m going tf to bed#ramblings#shut up cianna
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mavigator · 3 months
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i talked about it a little bit already but i have things to say about it. for context, i was born with amniotic band syndrome. the amniotic band wrapped around my left wrist in utero and stunted the growth of my hand. i was born with about half a palm, four nubs for fingers, and a twisted half of a thumb. i can open and close my thumb and pinkie joint like a claw.
yesterday at work i had a shift in the room with 5-10 year old kids. i had my left hand hidden in my sleeve (a bad habit of mine). a kid asked if he could see my hand, and even though internally i was debating running into traffic, i said “sure you can” and showed him my hands. he stared for a moment, looking disturbed, and then said “i don’t want to look at that anymore”. that hurt to hear, but i understand that kids are new to the world and he probably didn’t mean it out of malice. i put my hand away again, told him that it was okay, and that i was just born that way.
he then went on to talk about how he knows a kid with a similar hand to mine and called it “ugly”. i told him that wasn’t a very kind thing to say and that he wouldn’t feel good if someone said that to him, and he replied that no one would say that to him—because he has “normal hands”, and he’s glad he does because otherwise he’d be “ugly”. i tried to talk with him for a bit about how everybody is born differently, but he just started talking about a girl he knows with a “messed up face” and pulled on his face to make it look droopy. i went on some more about how it wasn’t very kind to talk about people that way, but the conversation moved on to something else.
i’ve told my supervisors about it and they’re going to have a talk with his mom. what i wanted to say is this: i’m genuinely not upset with the kid. kids are young and naturally curious, and he clearly simply hasn’t been taught about disabled people and kind ways to speak to/about others. which is why i am upset with his parent(s). i know he’s encountered visibly deformed/disabled people before (he said so himself!), yet his parent(s) clearly haven’t had any kind of discussion with him about proper language and behavior. i knew from birth that some people were just different than others, but my parents still made a point to assert to be kind to and accepting of others. i wonder if adults in his life are the type of people to hush him and usher him away when he points out someone in a wheelchair. that kind of thing doesn’t teach politeness. it tells children that disabled people are an Other than can’t be acknowledged or spoken about; which, to a child, means disability must be something bad.
i’m lucky enough that this was a relatively mild incident, and that i’m a grownup with thicker skin. i’m worried about the other kids he mentioned to me. has he been talking to them this way? when i was a kid, i had other kids scream, cry, and run away at the sight of my hand. or follow me around pointing at me and laughing at me. or tell me i couldn’t do something because i was ugly or incapable or whatever. one time a girl at an arcade climbed to the top of the skeeball machine, pointed at me, and screamed at me to put my hand away and wouldn’t stop crying until she couldn’t see me anymore. another time, a kid saw my hand, screamed at the top of her lungs, and ran into my friend’s arms, crying hysterically about how i was scaring her. that second incident made me cry so hard i threw up when i got home. i can kind of laugh it off now, but having people react to me that way as a child is something i’m still getting over. why do you think i have a habit of keeping my hand in my sleeve? it just irritates me to see children that have clearly not been taught basic manners and kindness—their parents Clearly missed something pretty important .
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Breakup Help (Chris)
Request: None (Reupload of the second fic I ever wrote and it’s lowkey shit)
Warnings: Friends to lovers, slight angst, insecure Chris, minimal degradation, eating out, basic sex
Y/n’s pov
About two weeks ago Chris’ girlfriend of two years cheated on him with his good friend and unfortunately, Chris walked in on them fucking. It had completely broke his heart, he’s been depressed and hasn’t left his room in days, he just cries and gets mad at his brothers for trying to make him eat a real meal. Matt had called me asking if I would go over and try to talk to Chris and cheer him up since I’m his best friend.
I agreed to go over since Matt and Nick were going to be staying at Madis for the night, needing to have a meeting with Laura anyways. I got my stuff together and went to the store to get Chris a Pepsi, goldfish and a monkey stuffed animal before heading to their house. I used my key to open the door, immediately going down to Chris’ room only to hear him crying really hard.
I knocked on the door softly “Hey buddy, can you unlock the door so I can come in please?” I spoke in a soft voice trying to be comforting. “No go away” his voice cracked as he responded, “Please Chris? I wanna give you a hug and I have something for you” I pleaded. After a loud sigh, Chris unlocked the door and I let myself in, he looked like hell, his hair was a mess, he hadn’t shaved in a few days, and had red eyes with massive bags underneath, I felt bad for him. I set the stuff I brought him on his desk and threw my bag and shoes on the floor before making my way over to the sad boy on his bed. I sat down, pulling him into a tight hug, rubbing his back as he clung onto me and cried.
“Why would they do this to me? Am I really that disposable that they can just move on and forget about me?” he cried out as he pulled away to look at me “No you’re not, you’re a great person and anyone would be lucky to have you as a friend or boyfriend, I’m sorry they did that” I said as I moved his hair out of his face. “S-she said I di-didn’t make her feel good and-d I have a small dick! B-but she always acted like it felt g-good! And s-said I was a ba-bad kisser. They both called me super ugly too” He spoke softly, stuttering over his words as he looked down with tears still streaming down his face.
“Awe Chrisy I’m sorry” I laid next to him on the bed as I spoke. “Now I feel really insecure…” he looked up at me with a sad expression, “Y/n do you think I’m ugly?” He questioned, making me give him a small smile. “Absolutely not, you’re very attractive. You have the most beautiful eyes, a stunning smile, perfect hair, the cutest little freckles, a very charming personality, the prettiest lips, really nice hands, should I continue?” A light blush spread across his face as I complimented him. “You think I have pretty lips and nice hands?” He questioned with a small smirk “Is that all you got from what I just said?” I asked rolling my eyes.
He replied with “No I also got that you think I’m cuuute” cracking a small smile. “Shut up or I’m leaving, you’re never getting complimented again I’ll just say you’re ugly” I rolled my eyes going to get up but he moved to lay on top of me so I couldn’t move and tightly hugged me “NO! I haven’t stopped crying since I caught them, you can’t leave you made me smile!” He said as he hid his face in my neck, “Fine I’ll stay if you get your fat ass off of me” I said pushing him off of me. “Don’t be mean to me, I’m vulnerable” He pouted “You owe me a hug now”
Chris had fallen asleep on me about 30 minutes after I got here but he needed the sleep so I didn’t bother him, a few hours had passed and he had just woken up. “Good morning sleeping beauty” I laughed at him making him whine and move his face away from my neck now laying on his back “Mmm if I’m sleeping beauty then I can’t wake up until I get a true loves kiss” he puckered his lips up and closed his eyes, earning a smack from me “Nice try bud” “It was worth a shot” he laughed.
We decided to watch a movie, Chris munching on the goldfish I brought him, before turning to me “Can I ask you a weird question” he asked earning a nod from me. “Remember what I said earlier?” “You said a lot earlier so you gotta be more specific” “What I said about h/e/n, when she said I was bad in bed” he sighed. “I don’t like where you’re going with this” “Just hear me out, would you um let me like make out with you and give you head? OH, and would you tell me if you think I have a small dick?” He pleaded with me.
I sighed sitting up to look at him “I love you and all but n-“ I didn’t get to finish because he interrupted me. “Before you say no…” He sat up moving his face closer to me, “…can I pleeeeaaaase!? If you don’t like it I’ll stop, I just need feedback on exactly what doesn’t feel good. please, it won’t be weird I promise!” he said, giving me the cutest pout. “Fine only because you look really cute when you make that face” I reluctantly agreed.
Chris pulled off his hoodie and shirt claiming they would make him “too hot” before throwing his blankets off of us sitting on his knees and pulling my face closer to his. I could feel the stubble underneath my fingers when I gently cupped his jaw, his eyes flickered between my eyes and my lips for a second before smashing our lips together. The kiss was hot and needy, Chris’ tongue slid across my bottom lip as he slowly pushed me to lay on my back making me gasp, allowing his tongue slide into my mouth as he moved to hover over me.
My other hand came up to to tread through his hair as his moved to my thigh, I don’t know what h/e/n was talking about when she said he was a bad kisser because that’s most definitely not true. Chris started leaving sloppy, wet kisses down to my neck before sucking deep purple hickies into my skin, pulling away when he heard a small moan come out of me when he sucked on a specific spot. I looked up at him, he was biting his lip looking at me “So how was that?” he asked. “Hmm I think I need one more for good measure” I teased as he smashed our lips together again.
This time he was a lot more rough, slightly sucking on my tongue making me loud out another whiny moan into the kiss. Lightly biting my bottom lip as he pulled away, wearing a cocky smile on his face. “Sooo” “One of the best makeout seshes I’ve ever had, I think you know that” I finally answered “You’re right, I just wanted to hear you say it, pretty. Now can I take off your shirt?” he replied. I just gave him a simple nod, he slid my shirt over my head looking down at my exposed breasts making him groan. He started kissing down my neck again, this time moving lower to leave hickies all over my chest before he wrapped his lips around my left nipple to suck on it, switching to do the same to the right one.
He moved lower, occasionally nipping at the skin of my stomach before he stopped at the waistband of my sweats. He slowly pulled my sweats off and started leaving teasing kisses on my thighs, his hands sliding up my sides as he started slightly sucking hickies into my thighs like he did to the rest of my body. He looked up at me, his eyes now so blown out that there was hardly any blue left, we made eye contact. He pulled away and smirked at me “You’re pretty I hope you know that”
Chris came up to press a soft kiss to my lips “How do you want me to get you wet?” He asked with a light blush across his face. “Just do it however you normally would, okay?” I cupped his face as I spoke, feeling the stubble underneath my fingers. “Okay but if I do that I have to take my pants, is that fine? I’ll still have my boxers on.” He said as he scratched the back of his neck nervously. “That’s fine but please stop being so nervous bubs, don’t let that stupid bitch get in your head!” I said pushing his hair back, he just nodded and took off his sweats.
Chris kissed me again for the umpteenth time tonight, licking my bottom lip asking for permission as he presses his hips down against mine. He started grinding against me as we made out, one of his hands coming up to grab one of my tits playing with the nipple making me moan. I felt his cock starting to get hard as he gently bit my bottom lip, I threaded my fingers through his hair and lightly tugged on it. I sucked on his tongue a little bit making him groan into the kiss before he started trailing his kisses down my body once again.
He aggressively pulled my panties down and threw them somewhere behind him, groaning when he saw how wet I was. “Damn, I really made you this wet?” he asked running a finger through my folds, I sheepishly nodded. Chris wasted no time, immediately pumping two fingers in me while kissing my thighs. He curled his fingers up, hitting my g-spot making me gasp before he wrapped his lips around my clit. Chris’ tongue started flicking the sensitive bundle of nerves as he kept curling his fingers up, slowly adding a third one. “Fuck Chris if you keep doing that I’m gonna cum” I moaned out, with his free hand Chris took one of my hands and placed it in his hair. I got the hint and started lightly pulling his hair not wanting to hurt him but his free hand came back to mine making my grip on his hair tighter and made me pull harder causing him to let out a groan.
The vibrations from his constant groaning make me get closer to my high, resulting in me placing both hands in his hair. Chris removed his lips from my clit “You like that baby, am I making you feel good?” he asked with a smirk before removing his fingers and replacing them with his tongue. “Sooo g-good Chris, gonna make me cum soon” I whined out as I felt my high approaching. Chris’ fingers started rubbing my clit in fast, tight circles, flicking his tongue in and out of my hole faster. “Oh sh-shit Chris, fuck ‘m gonna cum” I loudly moaned, tightly gripping his hair, making him groan, sending me over the edge.
After he had licked up all my cum, Chris hovered over me, his face shiny and covered in my cum. “So was it any good?” He asked with a cocky smile, already knowing the answer “You taste so good by the way, I might’ve just found my new favorite meal” he said winking. “Very good, the only thing that could make it better would be if you make out with me again” I responded while biting my lip. Chris came closer to my face so that our lips were almost touching “That can be arranged” he said before smashing his lips against mine, pressing his hips against mine once again, fully hard this time.
I grinded my hips up against his making him let out a loud groan “Fuck Y/n/n don’t do that, I’m already hard, I don’t need you making me hornier. It’s already gonna suck trying to ignore it, so d-don’t do tha- sh-shit” As he spoke I trailed my hand down his chest to his cock, giving it a squeeze. “Why don’t we prove the last two things she said wrong? Show me how good you can fuck me with your big cock Chris” I bit my lip and I moved my fingers to toy with the waistband of his boxers as I looked into his eyes. “Are you serious? Because I dont think I’ll be able to control myself if I fuck you and I don’t wanna be too rough or hurt your feelings” He spoke softly as he stroked my cheek with his thumb.
I leaned up to place a kiss below his ear as I whisper “What if I like it rough and have a degradation kink?” I asked before sucking a few hickies into his neck as he processed what I just said. “And I’m on the pill so you can fuck me raw if you want to” I added making him let out a deep growl pulling his boxers down as he placed his lips on mine, teasing his tip through my folds. Chris placed his tip at my entrance, slowly pushing the mushroomed tip in before slamming the rest of his length into me. He pulled away from the kiss looking down at me waiting for me to tell him to move, once I gave him a nod he started pumping in and out of me at a slow pace.
“Chris, faster, please” I whined out as my fingers went to pull his hair. He started speeding up his thrust as we both let out moans “Goddamn you’re so fucking tight, squeezing my cock so good baby” he groaned out, speeding up his thrust even more, my nails starting to dig into his back as I moaned loudly. Chris dropped his head to look down between our bodies to watch his dick pumping in and out of me. “Ch-Chris you’re so big f-fuck! Ohh right th-there!” I whined out when he hit my g-spot repeatedly, I started sucking more hickies into his neck to match mine. “Yeah, you like that baby? You gonna cum all over my cock like a slut?” Chris growled out moving his hands from my waist, the left one going to rub my clit while the right one starts to toy with my nipples.
I grabbed Chris’ right hand bringing it up to my throat, loving the way his jaw dropped for a moment before turning into a smirk as he wrapped his fingers around my throat to choke me. “You’re such a fucking whore, letting your best friend destroy your tight little pussy!” Chris groaned as his thrusts sped up, his fingers on my clit doing the same as he repeatedly hit my g-spot. “I’m gonna cum! Fuck can I please cum!” I begged, whimpering as my nails scratched down his back, Chris’ hand squeezed my throat harder only adding to the pleasure. I felt his thrusts starting get sloppy signaling he’d was close too.
“Cum all over my cock baby, be a good little slut for me.” Chris groaned out. I came around his cock, my walls squeezing tighter around him, making him shoot his load inside of me. Warm spurts of cum painting my walls white. After we both road out our highs Chris stopped rubbing my clit and removed his hand from my throat before pulling out, causing us both to hiss at the feeling before he plopped down next to me. We both caught our breath before Chris spoke “That was something huh?” he chuckled out “I’m gonna be honest h/e/n has absolutely no fucking idea what she’s talking about because that was amazing” I said rolling over to face Chris, who had a big smile spread across his face.
Chris placed a sweet kiss to my lips, smiling into it when I kissed back, he moved some hair behind my ear after we pulled away “Thank you, for everything. You definitely made me feel so much better tonight, now let’s go get cleaned up and then we can go to sleep. I mean if you want to stay, y-you don’t have to it’s okay-y to s-“ he started saying nervously before I cut him off with a kiss. “Chris you don’t have to keep being so insecure with me dude. I’m not h/e/n, I actually care about you and I love you, you’re my best friend. Now come on let’s go shower and then we can cuddle okay?” I said while stroking his cheek. We got up and took a shower getting dressed after, I wore one of his shirts and a pair of boxers, before going to lay down. I was covered in hickies which made Chris feel proud, this was going to be fun to explain to Matt and Nick in the morning…
Taglist: @aliyahsbody @angelic-sturniolos111 @biimpanicking @biplrbtch @chrisenthusiast @chrisolivia4l @christinarowie332 @chr1sgirl4life @creamoncreamoncream2 @delimeats-000 @dev-speaks @ermdontmindthisaccount @flowerxbunnie @fionaheartswomen @gilbertscurls @heartsforchrisandmatt @iheartchrissturniolo @ilovemattsturn @its-jennarose @justaslvttygirl @kvtie444 @lustfulslxt @luvysworld @m6ttsturniolo @mangosrar @mangoposts @meerkatzthings @mattsnutsack @meg-sturniolo @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @recklesssturniolo @rozariah51911 @slut4chr1s @solarsturniolo @soursturniolo @strniohoeee @strawberrysturniolo @sturnnfilm @sturniolocoded @sturniofilmd @sturniolohoe @sturniolopepsi @sturniolo0ntop @thecynthh @xxloveralways14
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honeyhoshi · 1 month
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you do it naturally
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summary: the hiding, the secrets, and staying back to watch him shine has never been an issue. until today.
it’s the night before the biggest show of his life, but it’s soonyoung's turn to show her that he’s her biggest fan.
this is a part of the playlist universe
genre: social media au/trad fic hybrid, solo idol au, celebrity x non-celebrity
wordcount: 4,606
pairing: solo idol!hoshi x afab!reader
warnings: discussions about self-esteem issues, body image/weight, feelings of jealousy, plenty of frustrated tears, afab reader, female anatomy, fingering, squirting, oral (f receiving), unprotected sex, creampie, crying during sex (good!!), dirty talk (lovingly), pussy drunk hoshi (canon), implied chubby/bigger reader
author's notes: unfortunately i am horribly in love with hoshi so this is my humble contribution to his smut tag
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As someone whose life revolved around sugar, butter, and flour, this was a new world. The tension in the air is palpable and the flurry of activity is so different from the kind of rush you’re used to. You’re nearly tripping over your feet trying to catch up to the member of the staff who's been sent to assist you. This must be so out of their scope of work, it's almost embarrassing how clueless you are to all of this.
It’s been three years since you started dating Soonyoung, and while you’ve never missed one of his shows in Seoul, this is your first time attending one of his rehearsals. He’s notorious for being laser focused and demanding of his team, making sure everyone remembered their collective goal of an amazing show. You never wanted to get in the way of that or to be considered a distraction. 
In fact, that’s always how you’ve operated as his girlfriend. You understand where you stand, what your role is, and when it’s time to work, you will stand back and let him shine.
But when you make it to the front of the stage, taking a seat close to Soonyoung’s managers after giving them a friendly smile, you can’t help the wave of pride that comes over you as you take everything in. The stage is massive, the largest Soonyoung’s ever had, and over thirty dancers are on stage with him as he adjusts the blocking and tweaks steps.
Then he catches your eye.
His eyes disappear as he smiles and you can’t help but do the same. You fight off the urge to wave, wanting him to get back to what he’s doing knowing full well they have limited time to go over everything before resting for the evening. You can’t take your eyes off him though. Preparations for concerts usually take him away from you for weeks at a time, and with the scale of this one, you hadn’t seen each other in the flesh for a month.
Just seeing him in front of you now already makes you feel sated.
“Can we do another run of the new song with the pair choreo. We just want to see which works better,” the director calls from the tech booth.
“Nari-ssi, please come up. Everyone else, take 5,” the choreographer on stage with them calls into her mic.
Soonyoung had mentioned he was debuting a new song at the concert. It was something he and Jihoon had worked on last minute that he couldn’t stop talking about, wanting to drop hints but also saying he wanted it to be a surprise for when you would see it at the show. He had dropped the topic dead a few weeks ago.
Nari bounds up the stage with a glorious spring in her step, bare faced but glowing. Her practice clothes fit her like a glove and her overall vibe gives off the energy that she herself was an idol.
That ugly feeling starts to simmer in your stomach as what you suppose is the song starts to play. The intro is slow and sultry and the sweat in your palms starts to grow uncomfortable. Only an idiot wouldn’t understand the sensuality of this song from the get go.
The love of your life is standing right there but you can’t take your eyes off of Nari as she finds her blocking before the verse starts. Nari smiles at Soonyoung and makes a comment you can’t hear from your seat. You feel sick.
Soonyoung and Nari are facing each other with one of his hands on her chin, lifting her gaze to him. His other hand is resting on her slender hip and in a three count from their choreographer, they move in unison.
“Three, four, five, ‘oh baby, cause I’ da, da da!”
The MR only covers the backing vocals but still you know that’s Soonyoung’s crooning and matched with the way his and Nari’s hands and bodies move, you’re transfixed. Horribly.
You avert your eyes, unable to focus and try to play it off as replying to an urgent message, but you’re startled when you hear a loud “SOONYOUNG FOCUS!”
Your head flies up to find Soonyoung staring you down from the stage, eyebrows furrowed and looking, dare you say, nervous.
“We need to see how this is actually going to look like tomorrow, so please let’s put more effort into this. Poor Nari’s giving it her all, Nyoung-ah.”
Soonyoung tries to communicate with you wordlessly but your unwillingness to keep eye contact makes it difficult for Soonyoung to get whatever it is across.
The music plays back again and they return to their starting positions and you know he’s turned it On.
The look on his face, the focus in his eyes. This is what he looks like when he’s locked in, and when his body starts to move, everything falls away.
But Nari.
They move seamlessly, sensually, and just Right. She matches every beat, wave, and touch he gives her. And gives back that same sultry energy with a flick of her wrist, dip of her hip, and when she leans her head back on his shoulder, allowing him to move her body to the music.
You could never move like that. You could never fit in his arms like that. 
The song ends and the dancers around them hoot and jeer and Nari blushes as she and Soonyoung finally break their grazes, breathless.
They would never cheer for you like that.
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This has never gotten to you this badly. Usually, the distance between the two of you allows you to compose yourself when things get muddled in your head, able to piece yourself together when the fear and insecurity claw up your throat. But your usual proximity is nonexistent and the gap has been closed.
Being with an internationally acclaimed artist meant busy schedules and only being able to squeeze in the littlest dates every now and then. You had time to prepare for those, give yourself the pep talk of It’s been three years. If he wanted you gone, he’d have said something by now.
In preparation for the show you two had made prior plans you would stay with him, an impromptu long weekend “getaway” you had put in at work almost 3 months ago. But now it feels like you’re trapped. You’ve been short with him since his rehearsals wrapped and you’d met up with him in his private dressing room. You could only stomach to say surface level good jobs and you’re always so amazing!
There’s no way he hasn’t picked up on it yet because the air in the car was nonexistent. It was stifling and you could feel the waves of anger simmering underneath Soonyoung’s skin, just waiting to burst forth the moment the two of you were alone.
He knew something was wrong. He always knew. 
The ride up the elevator to his unit felt like the longest and shortest elevator ride of both of your lives and the second Soonyoung had let you into his place and locked the door behind him, you wanted to cry.
“Can we finally talk about this?” He starts. 
“What?”
“Babe.”
“Soonyoung.”
“Are we really doing this?” He sighs, exasperated.
You feel bad. But the sadness is gnawing at your head and heart and neither are working correctly.
“We’re not ‘doing’ anything, Soonyoung.” You say as you toe off your shoes and put down your bag before facing him.
And what a glorious face it is. He’s always been the most handsome man you’ve ever seen. He looks best like this, you think. Soft and free of makeup and tired and home.
“I’m sorry,” you start, face beginning to crumple and the sting of hot fresh tears threaten to spill.
“No, no, no, baby. Come on, come here,” Soonyoung’s scrambling to pull you into his arms, “Hey, hey, shhh. Look at me, talk to me.”
He pulls her face into his hands and tries to lift her gaze towards him. But she fights and tries to keep her head down.
“Baby, you have to talk to me, okay? You have to talk to me and tell me what I did wrong, hmm?” He respects your refusal to look at him and instead hugs your head to his chest, resting his chin atop the crown of your head.
Soonyoung wraps his other hand around your shoulders and maneuvers the two of you to lay on the couch, You’re still sobbing, large tears falling from your eyes and dampening the shirt he’s wearing.
When he moves to lay down on one of your favorite spots to cuddle in his home, you freeze in his arms, sobs stopping and shoulders going rigid. You push yourself off of him, hands going up to brush the tears off the face.
“No, no, I’m too heavy, I'll crush you.” It is almost business-like how you snap back into this cold tone.
Soonyoung stops, sits up straight, “What are you talking about?”
You groan, “Soonyoung, I don’t want to get into it. Please, you’ve had a long day, tomorrow is going to be—“
“No,” he cuts you off, “We don’t get to talk about tomorrow until we talk about today. Until we talk about what’s going on right now.”
“Soonyoung—I just. I don’t know how to talk about this. I’m just blowing things out of proportion. It’s nothing, I swea—“
“It isn’t nothing, though, is it?” He says, softer now. He reaches up for your hand, “You’re upset. You’ve been upset since I saw you after rehearsals. We have to talk about this, baby. We promised each other we’d talk things through.”
Your eyes sting again, a fresh batch of tears ready and threatening to make their appearance. That sharp feeling in your nose is there, any second now.
“Tell me how I can make it better, baby.”
The dam breaks and you fall boneless into Soonyoung’s embrace. You straddle his lap and wraps your arms around him, pressing the two of you chest to chest.
You bury you face in Soonyoung’s neck and let out a shuddering sob.
“I’m sorry, I’m being so, so immature and so unreasonable. You didn’t do anything,” you say, still slightly unintelligible from the tears.
“You’ve never done anything that’s made me sad or angry, Soonyoung. It’s me, it’s me and my stupid brain.”
“Hey, hey, no. Please please don’t say that, hmm? Let’s work this out together,” Soonyoung coos.
“I-i-i just felt so horrible, Soonyoung!” You finally cry, “She looked so beautiful and perfect and just so RIGHT in your arms and God, the way you two moved and how everyone watched the two of you.”
Soonyoung pulls away, grasping you face in his hands and finally locking eyes with you.
“I know I said I’m okay keeping this a secret and keeping everything simple and under wraps, and it’s fine! I promise, it really isn’t that.”
“Then what is it, baby?”
You’re quiet for a bit as Soonyoung traces the path of your tears with his thumbs, wiping them away.
“I’ll never be able to do what she can. Nari. I’ll never look like her or act like her or move like her. I can’t even dance with you without looking like a fool.”
Soonyoung feels his heart sink. His own eyes start to grow bleary and when he blinks a tear falls to his cheek. He drops his head to your chest and breathes you in.
“I’m sorry—“
“Oh no, Soonyoung it isn’t yo—“
“I’m sorry that things have gotten this far that you’ve grown to feel that way. I’m sorry because I know in some way or form all of this has become that and I didn’t catch it.”
When he lifts his head, tear tracks mark his pretty face and his nose is red.
“But you have to know,” he starts, eyes very serious, and not daring to look away from you, “You have to know that you are everything. You are everything to me. You’re even more than that.”
“And we are going to dance. Oh we are going to dance all the time. I am going to dance with you in the kitchen when we’re waiting for focaccia to bake, we are going to dance in the bedroom when we change the sheets, and we are going to dance when I marry you. And everyone will have their eyes on you and they will clap and cheer because just look at the woman I love.”
“Soonyoung—“
He stands with a start and you instinctively wrap your arms around him, elbows hooking over his shoulders. His hands are under your thighs, fingers pressing into the soft flesh. He’s carrying you into his room.
The lights automatically flicker on as he enters and kicks the door closed behind you, “In fact, baby, why don’t we start now hmm?”
“What, start what?”
He grins and any semblance of sadness has vanished from his face. He smiles and something in your heart is elated.
“Dancing, of course.”
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Soonyoung is known in the industry as an ace — able to sing, rap, compose, choreograph, and above all things, dance. And dance with you he does.
The way he can make your body move is unexplainable because once he placed you at the center of his bed, he’d strummed at your body, mouthed at your pulse and had gotten you out of your top and jeans before you could even fully comprehend.
His mouth is hot on yours and he breathes in your air as soon as you exhale and you’re growing lightheaded as his hands continue to undress you. In an attempt to get some air in both your lungs, he pulls away to frantically tear his shirt over his head, not daring to take his eyes off you. He flings it over his shoulder unceremoniously, not a care in the world where it lands and makes quick work of his sweatpants. 
“What, you thought you’d get lucky tonight?” You quip at him, “Even when you knew I was feeling tilted?
He’d gone commando.
“Good mood, bad mood, whatever the fuck mood, I want you,” he laughs as dives back in to kiss you.
His hands are everywhere, like he doesn’t know what and where to touch, wanting to feel you everywhere before settling on the thickness of your thighs. He spreads your legs slightly so he could slot himself in between them, cock pressed perfectly to your center. 
And then he grinds. The head of his cock nudges perfectly at your clothed clit and you let out a mewl.
“There you go, let me hear you,” he groans into your ear, “Y’sound so good for me, sweetheart.”
“Soonyoooouung,” you can’t control the drawn out moan of his name. After everything you’re pent up and everything feels too much already.
He lets his mouth trail wet, open mouthed kisses from your jaw to your neck as his hands busy themselves undoing the hook of your bra. He scrambles to get it off of you and immediately pulls one nipple in his mouth, nipping and soothing it with a slow lave of his tongue.
He grips your other breast in his palm and squeezes, biting his lip at how your flesh molds to his touch.
“Fuck your tits are fucking perfect.”
This man was groping and grinding against you, and you blush as he compliments your breasts.
He continues kissing down the valley between your breasts and you hold your breath as he starts pressing his lips onto your stomach. It dips and springs back as he moves and your eyes zero in on the deeper colored lines of your stretch marks. There are more on your thighs to match.
But he makes no comment. 
He instead groans whenever he stops to suck a bruise and to run his tongue over the mark he’s made. 
“You’re so,” he starts, almost breathless, “You’re everything.” He laughs at his own inarticulate thoughts before hooking his thumbs into the elastic of your underwear.
He pulls them off and moves back up to press a deep kiss to your mouth, “I want to make you come three times, love.”
“What?” You’re dazed.
His right hand moves down to trace your ass and hook under your knee so he can spread you open.
“First, I’m going to fuck you open on my fingers,” he breathes, “then when you’re nice and wet and open for me, I want you to sit on my face, alright?”
With all his talk distracting you, you’re suddenly startled when you feel his thumb on your lower lips, starting to spread you apart.
“Then when you’ve come all over my face, I’m going to fuck my come into you, just how you like it. Right, baby?”
He slips in two fingers into you with no warning and you keen, high and wanton and uncontrollable.
Soonyoung is rough and quick when he fingers you and no matter how slow and sensual the lovemaking is, this will always be fast, hard, and messy.
While one hand is busy pumping two fingers into you, the other pinches your clit and quickly rubs, wanting your first orgasm to come as quickly as possible.
Your lower lip is close to bleeding as you try to keep your voice down but Soonyoung only chuckles when he sees your attempts at restraint.
“Baby we’re soundproofed in here. Make all the noise you want.”
You want to slap at his chest playfully at least, get him to feel some semblance of shame, but just as you try to make some quick remark, his fingers brush that spot inside of you and he presses down hard.
You’re unable to hold in the scream that rips through your throat as his arm flexes and he roughly thrusts his fingers in and out of you.
You clench your eyes shut as you finally let him have your first release. It’s almost explosive and you spill messily all over his fingers and arm, his other hand making a bigger mess, spraying drops of your release letting them fly further.
Breathing comes hard but he’s already pulling out of you and moving your body around until you’re on your knees.
Soonyoung lays on his back and tugs at your hands to grip at his headboard, “Fuck I’ve wanted this for so long.”
“Soonyoung, what if—“
“If you want to stop, we’ll stop. Just say the word,” he says, propping himself up with his elbow.
“You have to do the same,” you say shakily, still trying to get your bearings after the mind blowing first orgasm.
“Unlikely, but you know I’ll tell you everything, love.”
And just like that he lays back again, looking more eager than you could have ever imagined. You kneel over his chest and slowly inch upwards before lowering yourself over his mouth.
Soonyoung’s always loved eating you out. He loves when sex is wet and messy and loud. He loves the taste of you and making so much noise while he’s pressed up against your pussy it almost seems like he’s the one getting release.
Every flex and curl of his tongue has you whimpering and you can’t help the way you throw your head back as his nose nudges at your clit, still sensitive from your first orgasm.
He coaxes this second one slower but it hits you just as strongly as he continues to mouth at your core even when you’re crying and shaking from the sensitivity. You almost topple off the bed as you climb off Soonyoung to lay back next to him on the bed.
You turn your head to Soonyoung and the entirety of his lower face is wet with your release and your face burns. But Soonyoung is aglow with arousal and just so much love.
He coaxes your mouth to meet his own and it is a reprieve from how quickly he moved for you to reach your high twice in such a short period of time.
You can taste yourself on his mouth but it makes you groan as his tongue pushes its way to mingle with your own.
Despite the desperation at which you both moved, this is slow and quiet. Just you lips moving against each other and the sheets rustling fills the space.
Soonyoung pushes himself off the bed cautiously, desperate to keep his lips on you as he positions himself between your thighs.
Just like that a switch flips and the urgency to have him starts once more. He pressed his cock against your entrance and let the underside slide against your wet cunt. It offers you little relief, the friction hardly enough to get you there.
He pulls away and brings one hand to your face as the other holds him over your body.
Soonyoung’s hooded lids and glazed eyes are a sight to behold. His hair is damp and the shorter strands that frame his face are plastered onto his forehead. There’s a bead of sweat that’s clinging to the cut of his jaw and you ache to press your mouth to it. 
His thumb traces the curve of your cheek, the plumpness of your lower lip, and slowly he’s pressing the finger between your teeth. You press your tongue against the pad of his thumb and wrap your lips around the finger, and suck.
God, I love this man. I will always only love this man.
“I love you,” he gasps as he finally presses in and sinks into you.
Any other day and it would be embarrassing how close you both are to the edge, but you both know that his evening was far from normal. Your heart is hammering in your chest so hard you feel like it’ll rip itself out of its confines. Everything feels too good and too much and you want it. You want this every single day if you could.
Soonyoung sits up and uses both hands to grip onto your hips and to brace himself. What he does next makes your head spin.
“I’m so close, baby. You gotta say it.” He stands on his knees, changing the angle slightly. Then he lifts your hips just right and the noise you let out as his cock sinks into you perfectly is completely pitiful.
“Say it.”
“Soonyoung!” you cry out. It’s a sob, really. Depraved, almost, in the desperation and the raw fucking feeling thats burning through your nerves.
“Just say it baby, you know the words. Say it and I’ll make good on the very last fucking promise I made tonight,” he says, the edge in his voice making itself known. He wanted to make this evening soft, slow, and for every movement to have meaning. But he has always been hungry.
Hungry for the stage, bigger venues, brighter lights, more challenging steps, and of course for you.
He breathes in through his nose sharply and tries to exhale slowly and paced, “Just say it baby, I know you can.”
“You’re mine.”
“That’s it. I’m yours. I’ll always be yours.”
The years of precise practice and this industry expertise has made the man you love into the most exquisite lover.
He thrusts quick and deep and the undulations of his hips have you seeing stars and tearing up once more. He’s everywhere, in your eyes, head, lungs, heart and you’ll be damned if you ever let him go.
The insecurities and the problems and the people will always be there, they will always cause uncertainties but this is one thing you will always be sure of. You will always be sure of him.
Soonyoung comes with a cry of your name and the most beautiful gasp against your mouth as he pumps you full of his cum, pushing you over the edge and he swallows the cry you let out.
He pulls away to press breathless kisses against your face and any other part of you he can get his lips on mumbling, “I’m yours, I’m yours. I’ll always only be yours.”
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It starts slowly, warm, and comfortable. The rustling of the sheets and the hot wet press of his mouth slowly coaxing you into that soft space of barely awake, but able to slip back to sleep if you stayed quiet enough.
“I gotta go, baby,” is Soonyoung’s whisper, cheek resting atop your head. 
You hum in response, not fully coherent to put together words after he’d pulled endless strings of moans and cries from your lips the night prior.
He presses a kiss to your hair, “Didn’t want to leave without saying goodbye. I’ll see you tonight, gorgeous.”
You feel the way the bed dips and the blankets move as he goes to stand. He slips on his shoes and, unable to leave so easily, moves back towards the bed and kneels by where your head rests on a pillow.
“I love you, think about what I said last night, okay?”
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You tried to keep yourself collected, keep the frantic energy sizzling in your veins at bay. Soonyoung had put on the show of his life, something that happens just a few times in a performer’s life, you’re sure. Pride had swelled so grandly in your heart. You had been so lovestruck watching him that it felt like he could see you whenever he had turned his head in your general direction.
Backstage is still abuzz from the end of the show. You’re sure people are still running around making sure the egress goes smoothly, that all the fans are able to exit the stadium safely. But everything comes second the moment you hear his voice.
“Has she been escorted from her se—“
You can’t help it. You’re so happy, so excited, and so in love with him. You’re running toward him. He’s changed out of his encore outfit and into a sweater—oversized the way he likes them— and sweatpants. He could slip into bed any second now it looks like.
“Soonyoung!” You call out, stealing his attention.
He turns to you and the most breathtaking smile spreads on his face and you throw yourself into his arms. He catches you and you wrap your legs around his slender waist.
“It was amazing, you’re so amazing. Congratulations, oh my god!” You’re blabbing, you can feel your mouth going a million miles an hour but you can’t stop.
You pull him into a crushing hug as he gently puts your feet back on the ground, keeping your arms around his neck.
“And that new song, Jesus you weren’t kidding, it’s so good and the choreo! The way you moved! You changed the choreo last minu—“ In a split second, his lips are on yours and you can’t help but smile against him.
You break away, breathless when you remember, “Soonyoung, everyone can see.”
He gives you a silly quizzical look, “Only thinking about that now and not when you jumped into my arms?”
You’re speechless. He’s right.
“I’d be happy if everyone knew,” Soonyoung says simply and pulls you in again for another kiss.
When you pull away, you suck in a large breath and say, “Okay.”
There’s a small smile that he can’t hide as he asks, “Okay…? To what, exactly?”
You blush and bury your head in his chest. You want to while, he’s so annoying.
“To everything. To everything you said last night,” you mumble into his chest, trying to muster enough confidence to keep going.
“Okay, I’ll move in with you. Okay, I’ll tell all my friends about you. Okay, let’s make us public.”
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-`✮´- if you've come this far, thank you. if you’d like to drop a like or reblog this, it would mean the world to this new author!
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ghouljams · 6 months
Note
Medievall au Konig…
King of a neighboring kingdom, who is declaring war. The king and queen, parents of Ghost’s princess, offer her hand in marriage as a peace offering. inviting him over to shortly court/get to know the princess, but falls in love with her lady in waiting? (or any type of servant/help type worker)
God this is dangerously close to my cursed king König from my novel and I am for REAL holding myself back here. This isn't going to be König's new medieval au, but I wanna see Ghost sweat and I love causing the princess pain. So I’m using my cursed König here, because I love him, and also because he’s just a little fucked up, and also also because he is just... incapable of loving the princess lmao
You hate this.
Your maids have spent all day preparing you to meet a man that could become your husband. A king. You pout as they scrub you with perfumed soaps, rubbing scented oils into your skin and hair until every nook and crevice if you is soft and sweet. It's truly the most extensive bath you've ever had, and all you can think of is how badly you don't want it to end. The same with your makeup and your hair, all the primping and poking takes far longer than you would've liked, and yet far shorter than you need. It's miserable, and your maids are too chatty, too excited. They don't leave you alone long enough to cry.
Your parents, well your mother, have planned a rather elaborate dinner to introduce you and the neighboring King. You desperately want to kick and scream, throw things and make a mess until someone takes notice of your misery and puts a stop to it. Your maids tighten the strings of your dress, fix your necklace until it sits just right on your chest, spritz you with perfume, and tip your tiara until it catches the light with the sparkle of tears in your eyes.
"You look beautiful m'lady," your lady in waiting smiles, squeezing your shoulders tight in an approximation of a hug. It's not a comfort. You feel like a horse being trussed up for the market. You say nothing, you think she gets the idea. She's always been a good friend to you. "Maybe he'll be terribly rude and ugly, and the King will kick him out before the meal is over," she suggests.
"One can only hope," you mumble.
Ghost isn’t waiting for you outside your quarters door. Your eyes dart around the hallway, past the knight that offers you an introduction. He should be here, why isn’t he here? He wouldn’t leave you if something important didn’t come up, something must have happened. You turn to your maid, confusion stealing away your anxiety for the moment. 
“Where’s Ghost?” You ask her. You hardly have a spare moment to feel sorry you’ve ignored this poor knight who you’re sure is his stand-in.
“Orders of the King,” The knight tells you, “I’ll be your guard from now on.”
Your heart falls. They’re really serious about this. You wonder if your mother put up a fight, if she was the one to suggest it. It feels like a betrayal of the highest order to look at this knight and tell him.
“I’ll be in your care.”
When all you want to do is throw a royal fit and tell him to get Ghost or get out. You suppose you could. You could go back into your room and send word you won’t be attending anything. Be a true royal brat. You shudder to think what would become of you if you did. Without Ghost to protect you, there’s no telling how quickly you’d be dragged from your quarters. Placed in front of your royal guest kicking and screaming, what a first impression that would be.
It feels like a funeral procession walking down the hall towards the formal dining room. Your feet hardly want to carry you, but you can’t run with an unfamiliar knight at your heel. For all you know he’d chase you down under your parents orders. That was the one thing you never had to worry about with Ghost, perhaps you took it for granted how loyal he was to you and only you.
You stop in front of the heavy wood doors. You don’t even get a moment to collect yourself, barely get a squeeze of your hand from your lady-in-waiting before the guards on either side open them. Immediately your worry over Ghost is replaced by anxiety for yourself.
The doors open, the guests at the table stand, and you look up, up, up, at the man you assume is your neighbor King. The height of him, the sheer mass of musculature and masculinity frighten you. You thought Ghost was tall, does this fucker come from a land of giants? The King tips his head to you, and you dip into a low curtsy. As well trained as ever.
"König," your father smiles, a ringing rising in your ears as König stares you down, "this is our daughter, Princess-" You wish you could say he at least seems interested in you. He doesn't. His eyes look bored at best and disdainful at worst. You wish you could say more but the lower half of his face is masked. You'd wonder what that was about, if you weren't so terrified that this man was going to take you away, he doesn't even seem to want you.
The man, König, has an air of violence to him, madness almost. An air you find infecting your mind even as you walk to your seat. The proximity to him doesn’t help the feeling that if any man would be the hand in your death it would be him. You can hardly imagine what a marriage to him would entail. How cruel could he be, when you couldn’t even sense a spark of warmth from him.
You knight pulls a chair out for you, and you sit, moving on pure instinct. König's eyes slide off of you to touch your maid as she leans to speak to you. You barely hear her over the ringing in your ears, your breath coming short as you stare at your place setting. Did you leave your heart in your room? It feels like you must have, you hardly think it's beating.
You feel like every muscle in your body is pulled taught, tightening to keep your skeleton from shaking. You can’t think against the rising wave of dread that settles over your mind. Your vision is so fuzzy, and the crown on your head is impossibly heavy. The weight of awful responsibility. An animal raised for slaughter, that’s all you are, all you’ll ever amount to. Another bargaining chip in your parent’s pocket to be thrown on the table in front of any unwed king they find important enough.
This is worse than an interview with a nobel. There’s no need for a formal meeting between you and a king. If he likes the look of you he can take you. There’s nothing more that needs to happen to make you his. A wedding is a formality. You’re sure that giant of a man has never heard ‘no’ in his life, and even if he had you’re sure that no didn’t last long. Where is your gentle knight? Why do you have to be doomed to a nightmare when so many other girls get to be loved?
Someone touches you. No one is supposed to touch you. You jerk away, the world snapping back into focus with a rush of sound and color. You maid crouches next to you, your hand between hers, concern clear in the furrow of her brow. You look around the table, the startled expression of your parents, König's wide eyes. Your lady in waiting swipes her handkerchief over your wet cheeks silently. Are you crying?
"I'm sorry," you smile at the other people seated at the table, "I'm just- just so excited at the prospect of marriage I suppose." Your lady- your friend fixes König with a sour expression, still dabbing at your makeup. You glance at your mother to try and pick up the conversation, maybe salvage this torture. She isn’t looking at you, her eyes set on König. Her expression is placating, her smile as warm as a crocodile’s. Political, just like you are supposed to be.
The air in this room is stifling. Your parents love you, but they care about you only as far as you’re useful to them. Despite your mother’s previous words, a king is too good a deal to pass up. Just like a princess throwing a tantrum in the middle of the night is too disgraceful to mention in the morning. 
“She’s not usually like this,” your mother tells König, her voice sweet, “she must be nervous in the face of a man so…” König raises a brow, despite the full plate of food in front of him, he has yet to remove his mask, “handsome.”
You shove off your maid’s fussing, your skin crawling to be touched by anyone. You’re going to be sick. You hardly mutter an ‘excuse me’ before you’re running from the room.
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aparttimewriter · 5 days
Text
STARSTRUCK: part fifteen
charles leclerc x singer reader x lando norris
summary: y/n had made her choice, but can lando handle the choice she has made
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📍 Melbourne, Australia 🇦🇺
yourusername
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liked by oscarpiastri, charles_leclerc, y/nsister and 876,567 others
tagged: charles_leclerc
yoursuername: mum i brought a f1 driver home x
view all 23,678 comments
oscarpiastri: charles thoughts on the bunnings snag ??
—yourusername: he was very confused
teamleclerc: ahhh he has now met y/n family !!
y/nstans: really believing those proposal rumours now
ferrarileclerc: why does melbourne look so good on him
y/nsister: i’m traumatised thinking about dad attempting to speak french to @charlesleclerc
—yourusername: ahhh please don’t remind me 🫣
charles_leclerc: g’day mate
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yourusername added to their story
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viewed by landonorris and 22,455 others
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yourusername
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liked by reneerapp, lilymhe, charles_leclerc and 954,677 others
tagged: charles_leclerc
yoursuername: the day i said yes to being yours for the rest of our lives
view all 40,678 comments
charles_leclerc: ❤️❤️❤️
reneerapp: stop I’m ugly crying right now !!
y/nsister: the most perfect couple i have seen
lilymhe: i’m so happy for both of you 🥺
scuderiaferrari: congratulations to charles and y/n on their engagement
arthur_leclerc: can’t wait to have you as my sister in law
teamleclerc: he really did it ! my heart can’t cope
y/nfangirls: she’s finally found the one
yourusername added to their story
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viewed by 32,567 others
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liked by francisca.cgomes, lilymhe, y/nsister and 934,677 others
tagged: charles_leclerc, lilymhe, francisca.cgomes
yourusername: sending my love to all of my beautiful friends and family, that came to celebrate our engagement
lilymhe: can’t get over how gorgeous how beautiful you looked
y/nsister: can confirm @charles_leclerc can party, see proof on third slide
tifosileclerc: still can’t believe that they are going to get married !!
francisca.cgomes: my two gorgeous girls xx
—yourusername: love you x
norrispapaya: has anyone seen any photos of lando ?? did he get invited
—mclarenboys: so many drivers were photographed at the party, except lando
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author note: hey guys!! so all my lando girls i promise i am working on a lando fic for you all xx
tagged list: @urfavnoirette @formulaal @maplesyrupsainz @celestialend @janeholt3 @starz4me1 @landossainz @k4marina @partyinpitlane @nessacarty1 @ssprayberrythings @1655clean @belennasif f @basicchelsea @eviethetheatrefreak @champagneproblems17 @noneofyourfbusinessworld
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thecuriousquest · 5 months
Note
B2 & Hawks
-🧼
The Scent of Another Man
Tag List: @issamomma @repostingmyfavs @palesweetscherryblossom @chickennugnugnug
Warnings: Yandere themes, NSFW, vaginal sex, multiple orgasms, non con briefly mentioned, isolation punishment mentioned, spanking threat, nudity, sexual punishment?, possessive tendencies, controlling tendencies, aggressive behavior, abusive behavior, threatening harm upon Reader, hair pulling, breast slapping, marking Reader, Stockholm Syndrome
Request: “We won’t stop until you’re so covered in my scent no one will dare touch you again.”
Master List
Yandere Alphabet Prompt
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Keigo Takami is known for many things. He’s the No. 2 pro hero of Japan, he’s a charming guy, he’s rich as hell, and he started his own agency at such a young age. Those are just a few off of the long, long list.
You know Keigo for something that nobody would ever even consider. He’s fucking territorial. This man somehow always knows when you’ve been around another guy. It’s like he can sniff it out. You could just brush your arm up against the opposite gender on a bus, and when you come home, Keigo will be all over your ass, interrogating you about why you smell like another guy.
Ever since you blossomed into a more willing partner, one who shows him incredibly genuine love and devotion, he has allowed you to go outside under certain conditions. One, you must always have your phone and location turned on. Two, if Keigo calls, you must always answer. Three, you’re only allowed out until five o’clock pm. Four, you are to tell Keigo where you’re going and who you’re going with. If he doesn’t approve of those two things, you aren’t going at all. Five, you are to contact Keigo and only Keigo if something bad happens.
On the train, your phone died, and you happened to have been seated between two males with pretty heavy body odor. That’s what leads you here as Keigo grabs you by your hair and berates you in the kitchen, threatening to press your cheek against the hot griddle of the stove.
“Am I not enough for you? After all I’ve done to protect you, to give you a lavish life?! You’re going to throw all of that back in my face?”
You know what will happen if you don’t answer him properly. Sniffling from the threatening heat against your face, you groan and cry out with a heaving chest, “Keigo, I’m sorry! You’re enough. You know you are! I love you, I can’t live without you. Please, Keigo!”
You can’t hold onto him with the angle you’re bent at over the stove. The only thing you can grab is the handle to the oven, so you clutch it desperately, knuckles turning white from the harsh grip.
“KEIGO!”
You feel like you’re about to vomit as he presses your face just a bit closer, but it’s all too close at the same time. You’re a short hair away from him marring your face.
“What do I have to do to make you get it through your pea sized brain that you’re mine? You’re my girl!”
“I am your girl! Keigo, I didn’t do anything. Please? Please, let me go?!”
Your tears fall onto the griddle, splashing and sizzling as it begins to evaporate. The steam hits your eye, and it only causes more to surface upon your lashes.
He pulls you up and turns off the knob, ending the torturous heat to the stove. Keigo grabs you by your jaw with an iron clasp so tight you’re sure he’ll leave finger print sized bruises. The dew drops lingering on your eyes rolls down over his hand, and he smirks at you, licking the salty droplets.
Your boyfriend’s lips are so close to yours. You can’t turn your head away from him, and with your back to the oven, you have nowhere to go. It must be a natural instinct to him to trap you like this, giving you zero options of a way out. By now, you can’t even tell if this was something he did on purpose or if it’s just so ingrained in his psyche that it’s intrinsic to him.
Snuffling like a kid with ugly sobs, you clutch his jacket.
“Please, Keigo, please, believe me! You have to believe I’d never do anything like that to you. I’d never go against you like that! I love you so much, Keigo, please?!”
You feel as though your knees might buckle with how little energy you have left.
His grin widens seeing you beg for him. It’s the music of a seraph choir to his ears with a harp in accompaniment. Fucking beautiful.
“What are we gonna do with you, songbird? Am I gonna have to bend you over my knee? Lock you up for a day or two?” He tilts his head as he teases you.
You don’t realize he’s mocking you though, so you cry even harder and plead, “No, please, Keigo. I’ll be good!” Your eyes are bloodshot and puffy, and there’s no way you could keep standing if it weren’t for the grip Keigo has on your jaw.
The pro hero tucks a lock of hair behind your ear, taking his time to answer you, letting the tension weigh in the air for his amusement and your torture.
“I know what I’ll do. I’m going to come inside of you and on you until we get rid of the smell of other men. We won’t stop until you’re so covered in my scent that no one will dare touch you.”
It’s not the worst option, but your lip still wobbles at the thought. Obediently, you nod your head. You don’t fight Keigo as he puts you over his shoulder and carries you to the bedroom, clutching his jacket for balance.
You have to remind yourself that he does this because he loves you, because it’s what’s best for you, so you sigh as he strips your body down to bare skin before doing the same to his own. His hero costume lays on the floor next to a pile of your own clothes, and he crawls on top of you, pinning your arms down. Keigo kisses, nips, and sucks on your neck, leaving all types of marks as he slots his hard length between the plush of your thighs and presses himself inside of you.
He manipulates your knees, pushing them up to your chest. It’s a comfortable position for him that you’ve come to find out.
You remember in the beginning how you used to fight him so much, how he used to have to hold you down or even force you on your stomach to make things easier. All of that changed when he delivered the very first severe punishment which you later found out lasted two months. You remember how he locked you up, gave you little food and water to survive off of, took away every single comfort he afforded you since you moved in, and paid very little attention to you.
Now, Keigo is the light of your life, and when you make him mad, you need to be punished. Being disciplined makes you feel better, and that’s all he’s doing. He’s in the process of forgiving you. His forgiveness is all you want.
So as he pushes deeper and deeper inside of you, you whisper and moan how sorry you are, how you’ll be better, do better. You try to reassure him with every desperate thrust inside of you that your body is his body, and he can do with it as he pleases.
You just want him to be happy with you.
Pearlescent rain drizzles from your glossy orbs, soaking your red cheeks. You bite your lip, hoping and praying that you’re pleasing Keigo. He doesn’t stop short of groping your tits, ass, and thighs. He marks you up with bruises, navy and indigo. He smacks your panting breasts, painting them the brightest red found within a sunset.
But you deserve it. If this is what it takes to regain his favor, you’ll put yourself through it all.
Keigo fulfills his promise of coating your insides, as well as your body, with come. He makes sure you’re dripping with the slick ropes of his seed. He sniffs you, just to test it out. His lips curl into a dark grin, golden eyes taking on a brownish hue as he tilts his head until you see nothing but shadows surrounding his eyes.
“Good, can’t smell any other fucker on you now.”
Coated in sweat and multiple orgasms, Keigo settles down behind you on the bed and pulls you into his chest.
Your pussy throbs from when he milked your sweet cunt down to the very last drop. Your walls are sore, they feel like they have been thrashed with how much they burn. You’ve been rubbed raw, both edged and overstimulated by the hero right behind you. You can’t help but shudder from his hands as he moves you closer to him. You want to cry out, but you shove that want down deep. You don’t dare vocalize the pain you’re in.
“You’re not mad at me, right?” You ask tentatively, too weary to look over your shoulder to gauge Keigo’s emotions.
He nuzzles your ear with his nose and moans a soft sigh. “You’re good now. Love you.” He places a lingering kiss on the crown of your head.
“I love you too, Keigo.”
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winkwonkwankwenk · 2 months
Note
hi Wink, hope you're doing well!
Your Choso fic about the reader having a complex about her breasts was really sweet so I was wondering if you could please do an NSFW version of Gojo/Geto with a partner who's insecure about their chest but Gojo/Geto absolutely adores it?
hope this is alright, thank you!
This one made me silly 🥴Gojo stan forever!! (Eventually I'll get to Geto I promise!!)
💗THANK YOU FOR 100+ FOLLOWERS!!
Word count: 1.6k
Pairing: Gojo x Fem!Reader
SFW/NSFW
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You’ve been acting strange.
For starters, you had started wearing ruffled tops- which were cute, but a change from the tight tanks you usually wore. When you weren’t wearing something ruffled then you were wearing something super baggy, drowning your figure. When he hugged you, you’d move his hands to your hips instead of letting him hold your shoulders or back. You also stopped showering with him, always having an excuse prepared. At first he thought he did something, but after weeks of overthinking he’d had enough. Now or never, he had to confront you.
“Y/N.” His chest presses against your back and you jump, “What’s going on? I’m starting to think you’re avoiding me.”
“I’m not.” You jerk your flushed face away only for him to pull it back, “I’m serious…it’s not you. I’m just…it’s stupid."
“It’s not stupid. It has to be serious if you’re dodging your hot boyfriend because of it!” He cups your face, “Talk to me! I’ve been going crazy and you’ve been walking around like everything is fine!”
“Everything is fine!” You squirm out of his grip and down the hall, hands clenched into tight fists by your sides.
“Bullshit!” He follows you helpless, an odd sense of despair churning in his stomach. “Tell me the truth, Y/N!”
“Fine!” You spin around, hands raised in defeat now. “I’m ugly! I’m ugly and you're the handsomest man in the world, plenty of pretty girls around and you're stuck with an itty-bitty-titty girl!”
What an unusual outburst. His eyes widen when you burst into tears, crumbling against him as he holds you close. He’s never seen you like this, not to this level. Sure, of course you got insecure on occasion but this was extreme. He brushes your tears away with soft strokes, kissing your nose until it scrunches and your teary eyes peek open. 
“Look at me, Y/N.” He whispers when you squeeze your eyes closed again, “Please?”
“No…I’m an ugly crier…” You sniffle, squealing a little when he kisses your lips. “Satoru, I’m serious-”
“So am I.” He tilts your chin up, tugging at your bottom lip as you stumble into the wall. His hands rest on your breasts. “These are what you’ve been avoiding me over? Seriously?”
“They’re too small…” You feel small now, childish. Why did you let yourself cry in front of him?! Now he’s going to worry! “I told you it was nothing! It’s not that big of a deal-”
“Bedroom.”
“Satoru, what- mmh~” You groan into his mouth, squirming when he lifts you into his arms. You cling to him, soft kisses turning into desperate sucks and nips. “Satoru~”
You hit the bed with a soft thump! and bashfully look up at him, hiding your kiss-swollen lips with your hand as you wipe drool from your mouth. Gojo straddles your legs, slipping out of his gray sweatpants and on top of you. He’s pissed, not at you, at himself. How had he not figured it out sooner? He had been so busy trying to figure out what he did, he didn’t even think of what he failed to do- reassure you.
“I’m sorry.” He whispers, tongue tracing your ear. “I should’ve been here, home, telling you how beautiful you are.”
“Satoru…” You’re crying again, hand caressing his cheek as he kisses away the tears that dare to sully your skin. 
He kisses you, this time soft and sweet, his lips then moving down to your neck and collar. You gasp as he lifts your shirt and hide your breasts with your hands. He chuckles quietly, flicking your hands away with long fingers. His head ducks under your head when you try pulling your shirt down and you squeal. His laugh is loud now, and you can’t help but giggle as his lips tickle your skin. 
“So cute.” He coos, sucking light marks on your skin until he sees your perky nipples in the corner of his eyes. “Especially these…”
Your breath hitches as he sucks one of your nipples into his mouth, his fingers toying with the other. You mewl, hips arching to meet his as he grinds against you. He’s hard, you can feel his stiff member through his boxers. He sucks harder, sending tingles down your spine as your nipple puffs in his mouth. You try to push his head away but he’s relentless, slurping loudly as you squeal. 
“S-Stop! There’s barely a-anything there to latch onto!” You’re trying to reason with him but he’s not even listening.
“There’s plenty for me.” He grins, finally letting go but pressing his tongue down on your swollen nipple. “They’re perfect, get that through your head.” 
“Make me.”
You didn’t mean to say that out loud, eyes widening from your own words. His eyes narrow, icy blues piercing through you, making you freeze as he slowly slips his boxers down. You watch his cock twitch in a trance, mouth watering as he hungrily glares at you. He wastes no time throwing your clothes away, exposing your bare body to cold air. Why’d you have to challenge him? You flip onto your stomach and try to crawl away but you barely move an inch before he’s pounced on you, devouring your mouth with his as his tongue tangles with yours. You gasp as he presses two digits into your mouth, looking up at him with those eyes that make his cock ache.
“Go ahead, wet them for me.” His voice makes you shudder and he smirks, “So my voice turns you on now? That’s new.”
“Satoru, please~” You whine as he strokes your tongue. He always toys with you like this, taunting you until your juices trickle down your thighs. 
“You’re making a mess, Y/N.” He whispers into your ear, breath ghosting your cheek. “Should I clean you up?”
He doesn’t give you a chance to respond before his fingers dig inside of you, spreading your walls apart without warning and making you cry out. He’s barely even done anything and you’re already shaking, cute. He kisses your neck as his fingers twirl and twist inside of you, grazing your sweet spot. He wants to thrust in right now, feel you clench around him, but he knows he needs to wait…he needs to make you cum until you’re a soaking mess beneath him. He can get off later, right now, you’re his priority. 
“Satoru- ohmygod~!”
“Feels good, hm?” He coos as he presses up, sending his fingers into your sweet spot as his thumb circles your clit. “This is where you're weak, right?”
You can’t speak, everything you say comes out slurred and shaky. He knows what to do and how to do it, where to kiss, where to lick- fuck, he’s so good with his damn fingers. You bite your lip, attempting to muffle the shameful noises that leave your mouth but it’s no use. Heat swells in your core as his strokes quicken into soft jabs, your hips arching up to meet his fingers. Your eyes roll back as he pushes you closer and closer to the edge- only for him to pull his fingers out right when you’re about to jump.
“I can’t hold off any longer.” His voice is raspy, thick with desire as he stares at your glistening cunt. “God…such a pretty pussy…”
“Satoru, please…put it in…” Fucking hell, here you are begging so sweetly- how is he supposed to say no when your clit twitches just from his gaze. “Satoru, stop staring- nnh~!”
“So sexy…so pretty…say it.” It takes every ounce of self-control not to cum the moment your cunt squeezes his shaft, his teeth gritting together as he grips your hips. “Tits are so cute…you’re so cute…”
He grinds against you slowly, cursing under his breath as he paces himself. Your legs hook around his waist, holding him close as you cup his face. His eyes are so stunning when his face is flushed, the bright blues shining in a sea of red. He smiles when he catches you staring, kissing you as he rams into you. You cry out, gagging as his drool trickles down your tongue. He sloppily sucks from your neck to your chest, his thrusts deepening. His hand wraps around your neck, holding your head up as it leans back. Fuck, he’s close, he can tell you are too by the way your walls cling to his cock.
“Who’s a pretty girl, hm?” He slides out until his tip is nestled in your warmth, then dives back in. “Say it.”
“M-Me!” Your nails dig into his shoulder blades as your toes curl, eyes rolling back as you orgasm. “Mee~!”
You’re panting, gasping for air as he keeps thrusting. You can’t think, your mind a melted mess of lust and love. He’s covering you in sweet kisses yet roughly drilling into you, holding your legs apart with strong hands. You can’t keep up with his rigorous pace, begging for a break but all you can really do is babble under him. His muscles ripple and flex every time he moves, seducing you into pure submission as you sob into his neck, the pleasure unbearable. He whispers praises into your ears like good girl and you’re taking me so well when your nails pierce through his skin, his voice soft and sweet like caramel.  
“God, you’re beautiful, so perfect.” He says in between quick, wet kisses. His thrusts have become sloppily humps as the pressure builds in his cock, erupting after a few more pumps into your taut cunt. “Fuck~!”
He doesn’t pull out, collapsing on top of you with heavy breaths. You whine quietly as he exhaustedly humps you, weakly pushing him away by his chest. His laugh is breathless, a happy hum as he pulls you into his arms. You can barely keep your eyes open, a low buzz dancing around your mind. His fingers intertwine with yours and he brings your hand to his mouth, gently kissing your knuckles.
“You’re beautiful,” he smiles. “Never forget that."
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homunculus-argument · 5 months
Note
Why do you constantly describe yourself like you’re the grossest, weirdest looking human being on the planet?
You’re always (very nonchalantly) talking about how ugly you are and… I’ve never seen your face ofc but I highly doubt you’re as weird looking as you think you are. I’m a bit concerned for you.
When my self-esteem was at its lowest I was CONVINCED that I looked absolutely awful. I felt that my features were weird and uneven. That I looked like someone who can’t draw tried to draw a person rather than an actual person. But now that I’ve gotten older and had therapy and my self-esteem isn’t so low anymore, I realize that I look normal. Perfectly normal. I may not be the most attractive person but I’m definitely not ugly and my face definitely isn’t mangled and gross. It’s just a regular face. But a few years ago, I absolutely swore that it wasn’t. It’s as if my mental state had been warping my vision.
So when you constantly talk about how ugly you are I can’t help but feel a little skeptical. You’re a human being, not a goblin. But you definitely describe yourself as if you look like a goblin. I’m willing to bet that you don’t.
I'm actually much happier now with how I look than I was when I was younger and tried so hard to be pretty. I remember being 21 and legit crying because I was so convinced that I'm too old to find anyone again and too ugly that anyone would settle for me. When I was in my Repression Phase, I could not stand wearing jeans because those are Men's Clothes and I was so convinced that I have to perform some sort of absolute over-the-top hyperfeminine presentation to be acceptable. I'm afab and looked up trans womens' passing advice because I was so sure that I'm not feminine enough.
I don't look anything like that these days, and I don't feel like that either. My life is completely different, I have friends who adore me and a partner who loves me, and I'm fine with the way I look. Over the past year I went from wearing understated grey sweaters and the plainest clothes possible into wearing skinny jeans, dyed hair and getting three facial piercings because I thought it would just be insanely funny to have a full-blown midlife crisis emo phase about turning 30. I look cringe on purpose for fun.
There's a world of difference between thinking "I am an ugly and wretched little creature and there's nothing I can do to make it stop", and "I am an ugly and wretched little creature and there's nothing you can do to stop me."
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babygirl-riley · 4 months
Note
Imagining a reader insecure and overwhelmed with her acne and ghost comforting her. It’s a need 😭😭 (felt really insecure about mine today)
Insecurity
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Simon stood outside of the bathroom door hearing you crying about some sort of breakout
“Tell me, is something wrong? Of something’s wrong, you can count on me.”
A/N: OMG I am so sorry that you felt insecure that day! Hopefully you feeling better! Little short but hey short and sweet! 🖤🤭
Warnings: talks about insecurities, soft!simon, TOOTH ROTTING fluff, swearing
simon x reader guide
simon x reader fluff/angst
“Love it can’t be that bad.” Simon stood at the door for about 20 minutes. You haven’t had a breakout for a couple of months now. All the routines and meds couldn’t keep it down. And you thought you had it.
You were not only embarrassed by the fact that you have been crying for 20 minutes about your breakout. But Simon being right outside of the door. You text him an hour ago stating that you weren’t going out tonight. It was a small dinner date you both wanted to go to but now with the zits covering certain parts of your face. You refuse. Especially the one spot in the middle on your forehead.
Fuck even fucking the Moon could see it. You have been picking at it for hours trying to make it look less angry. You sighed as you looked at the bottles making sure you got the right brand of skin care. Everything was how it was suppose to be. Tears welled into your eyes as you slammed the bottle back into place.
“It looks so fucking gross and it won’t leave,” You said loudly as you stared at the bump that laid on your forehead. “And it’s right in the damn middle! There is nothing that can make it better! And on top of that everything is suppose to be in the cabinet!”
Simon frowned, he knew this was your biggest insecurity. He felt terrible you thought that a zit made you feel ugly or sad. However, he understood, he used to get them all the time as a teen. Making him feel self conscious about how he looked with them.The thing he more sympathized with was that you had more sensitive skin though. Yes you had it since late junior high all the way to adulthood.
Simon went to sit on the bed as he waited for you to come out. He leaned on his knees as he waited for you to come out “You can’t laugh Si.” You said, he heard your voice crack from another sob to leave your mouth.
Simon half smiled, he would never, you knew that. “Baby I would never. Let’s see the bugger.”
You opened the door slowly until you had it opened enough to see you. You were looking down as he got up and walked to you. You almost forget every time how tall and bigger he is, until he is towering over you. You loved the feel of your neck looking up at him. It brought butterflies in your stomach and chest. He gently grabbed the bottom of your chin, lifting your face so your eyes land in his.
His heart stopped for a moment to see that you have been crying, for a while. It never made Simon happy when you cried for not good reasons. Simon frowned as he looked to your pimple, examining it. It seemed small to him, little bump on the middle of your forehead. Definitely showing that it was irritated, red around the area. “It doesn’t get this bad unless my period is going to start and it’s just so big and ugly. I just don’t want to go out and have people look. And I…”
Simon placed a finger against your lips. “Shh, lovie it isn’t that bad. Have ya been pickin’ at it?” He noticed the small cut that was left on the side of it. You frowned and nodded your head. You had a tendency to do it when you were nervous or irritated that you had one. “‘Ight sit down, on the bed.”
You did what he told you to do, softly planting yourself on the bed. All in the while he leaves the room, you sniffle as he walked back in a bag full of things. “‘M not sure which one you used last time so I bought one of each,” He opens the bag filled with face masks, pimple cream, moisturizers, and scrubs. Your eyes widen as you stare back up at him. “I just noticed what you use once peekin’ now. Luckily that is in there.”
You looked back into the bag, at the face masks and scrubs, first reading each label to see what would help your skin. “You are going to return the rest yes?” You asked softly as you placed the ones that were good for you aside.
“Yeah, if ya can’t use them then I will.” He said softly watching you pull each item you could use.
“And if I ask for you to do a mask with me would you?” You smirked up at him pulling one that had a Lavender scent to it.
Simon looked at it, staring for a moment. Never has he done it before let alone really wanted to. However, with your beautiful self asking for a joint face mask time. He couldn’t resist. “Of cou’se lovie.”
You bite your lower lip. “Can we just stay in and do a small spa?”
Simon chuckled caressing your cheek softly, having his thumb rub your cheekbone. “I would love to. Pizza or Chinese?”
You giggled as you kissed his palm. “Oh pizza baby!”
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xxgoblin-dumplingxx · 8 months
Note
hi, feeling some heart ache lately. can we get dick being intimate and reassuring reader she’s not hard to love? it can be rebound intimacy or something but she feels like she was responsible for the downfall of her last relationship and she feels like she’s always gonna end up alone kind of thing. if you can’t then that’s fine. always loved your work though
"Baby," Dick said softly, gathering you into his arms and rocking you, "Shh, it's okay. You're okay-"
He doesn't know what happened. Only that it's ugly. It's ugly and left you raw and aching. Crying so hard you can hardly form words. All you can do is hiccup and sob. Hiding your face in his chest.
"Shh," he tried again. "Just breathe for me, okay?"
"I just- I just-"
You break off and make a miserable noise. Your skin too hot for comfort. He can feel sweat prickling along his back and getting slick across his arms and chest but he can't let go. "Talk to me?" he pleaded.
Coming home to you sobbing, almost hysterical on the sofa had scared him. No blood or noticeable injuries had been reassuring but. When you couldn't seem to stop crying- he didn't know what to do.
"Why am I never enough?" you ask, voice small.
And Dick felt his heart twist, "What happened?"
"Mom called."
"And," he pressed gently.
"They're not coming to the wedding. Lizzie has some kind of thing and she needs them- and. I-"
"Hey, shhh," he soothed. "Baby you're enough. It's gonna be okay."
"Why do you want me if-"
"Because," he said, tilting your chin up and dabbing tenderly at your cheeks with a sleeve folded over his hand. Fumbling for tissues but unilling to let you go to go look properly. "You're everything. You managed to tame Damian. You looked at me and my family and all the chaos and- you didn't even flinch. Because when you're with me, nothing seems so bad. I feel safe. I feel like I don't have to hide. And it's you. You do that.
"I-"
"And," he said, eyes teasing, "I don't think anyone has ever made me come as hard as you have."
"Dick!" But when you give him a trembling little giggle, thudding your head against his shoulder, he cuddled you.
"You're enough, Okay? You're enough and I love you."
"I love you too. I'm sorry-"
"Don't be sorry," he said softly. They broke your heart. And now, he reckoned it was time for him to do something about it- but what?
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anintrovertedechoe · 11 months
Text
moonlight.
mammon x gn!reader
heartfelt fluff
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Giggles fill your apartment kitchen, music drowning it all out until you two are the only ones who can hear yourselves. This, you think, is love. Love in its purest and most unadulterated form. Love that is unafraid and comfortable and warm. Love that you could lie and bask in like sunlight on your living room floor on a Sunday afternoon.
He’s shirtless and your chests make contact through your flimsy tacky yellow tank top. (The color is ugly and ‘looks like what spoiled BufoEgg Tea would smell like’ according to Mammon, but yellow is his color and the two of you couldn’t stop laughing when you saw it, so into your cart and wardrobe it went.) His arms wrap around your waist, and he arches his back over you so you can actually reach his shoulders. (Tall bastard, you murmur. Not my fault yer such a short human. He grins. Your palm gently pushes his face away and his smile is so bright it steals the breath from your lungs just like he stole your heart oh so long ago.)
The music hums in the background, Dodie and Laufey play through the speakers, voices creating a gentle melody the two of you hum along to. Your lover is tone-deaf, but you still feel your chest bursting at the seams with love when his voice enters your ears.
The two of you rock to the sides together, holding onto each other so tightly that you feel like you might meld together as one. You voice your thoughts, and Mammon says he doesn’t see a problem with that (he grips you closer to him and meets your eyes and you don’t think you would mind either, if you’re being honest.) The midnight moonlight shines through the kitchen windows, and he tucks his face into the crook of your neck, where you know a crooked smile awaits you. You lean on him and pin his head against you, eliciting a laugh from your lover.
“Love you, Mams.”
“Love y’more.” And you can’t help but press your lips against his at the response. It is soft, and sweet, and slow. I am yours. I would follow you to the ends of all of the three realms if you asked me to. I love you. I love you. I love you, it says.
And you think you would stay like this forever, if you could. Right here, right now, with Greed in your arms and Dear Soulmate ringing throughout the room. How fitting it is, that Laufey’s melodious voice starts her chorus as his forehead presses against yours, blue-gold eyes shining so soft in the light you can’t help but melt.
Suddenly you’re pressed against the counter, his arms trapping you against him and suddenly Mammon is at your ear whispering, “Play the song.” Less of a demand and more of a plea, sweet and nearly silent, his voice sends shivers down your spine.
You can’t help but bask in the endearment that surges through you. A hand tangles itself and plays within the white locks belonging to the second-born Sin.
“What song?” A teasing grin from you. A whine from Mammon.
“Y’know, the song.” He pouts against you and his hair tickles your nose as he buries himself further into the space between your head and shoulders as you laugh at his antics.
“Need’ya to tell me what song, baby. Can’t read minds, y’know.” You know exactly what song he’s talking about.
“I hate ya, y’know.”
“You love me.”
He dramatically sighs against your neck. “Wish I didn’t.” A lie and you both know it. Still doesn’t make your smile any less wide.
“Mean. M’not playing the song for you now.”
“You said you didn’t know the song?!” A cry of outrage and mock indignation. You hastily shush him and break out into a fit of quiet laughter.
You motion for him to lean in closer, before whispering urgently and dramatically,
“I lied.”
“…”
“…”
“I was serious when I said I hated ya, y’know.”
A series of breathy giggles leave you and quickly reach Greed’s ears, and soon enough he’s barking out laughter alongside you.
It’s in moments like these that you know things are going to be alright. No matter what, you’ll have your Mammon by your side, and that means things will be okay.
You remember a time before him, before the love of your life was yours, and you can’t believe you ever thought you were alive before him. Darkness had filled every part of your being, and the days had dragged on, long and pointless. You remember coming home to your empty apartment, and the bitterness that used to form a pit in your chest and choke you to the point of tears.
Before you met the boy with stars in his eyes, you didn’t think you would live to your next birthday. How fitting it was, that he had come in in your darkest moments, only to fill you with light. (The sun seemed dim compared to his smile, and you fondly remember the moment you realized that you would do anything for that smile, no matter how troublesome or ridiculous his scheming may be at times.)
“Watcha thinking ‘bout?” A casually posed question, but his eyes betray the slight worry that stained his face.
Mammon, your Mammon. The love of your life and beyond. What would you do without this precious boy? What would you do without the greedy Mammon who willingly had let you steal his golden heart? (You treasure him as though he is the most precious jewel, and Greed finds himself melting into you more often than not partially to avoid being witnessed as the blushing mess he becomes whenever he looks into your eyes, filled with love. All for him, you tell him. And despite being Greed incarnate, he cannot imagine taking all of the entirety that is your love.)
“Nothin’, just thinking about how much I love ya, Mams.”
He blushes furiously and tries stammering out a response, only to give up and once again bury his face into the crook of your neck, whining and mumbling something along the lines of ‘not fair’ and ‘…love ya’ more, human.’ Against your skin.
And while the moonlight shines and Mitski plays in the background, you play his song and sway with him once more.
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i love him ur honor. i am in love with him ur honor. i would do anything for this man. tooth-rotting fluff is not a can, but a must.
please please please please offer feedback and criticism hes my fav character and i want to make sure my writing and characterization did him justice :((
anyways yeah credit to @pothologics for the banger playlist that inspired me to write this
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Being Around You Makes Me Feel Better
Fandom: Harry Potter - Marauders Era
Pairing: James Potter/Reader
Character: James Potter
Summary: You have a bad day, where you hate yourself and the way you look. You sneak into James’ bed in his dorm and thats where he finds you and spends time trying to make you feel a bit better or at the very least forget for now.
Reader is autistic and so am I.
Notes: I don’t own Harry Potter or its characters. I also don’t believe JKR’s beliefs. This account is safe place for all.
I do not give permission to anyone to repost or translate any of my stories. I also do not give anyone permission to feed my stories through AI or to be posted to any third party website or app. If anyone sees any of my work posted anywhere but here or my AO3 (simplyreflected), then it has been posted without permission.
Posted on AO3 here.
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You couldn’t help it. When everyone left for classes, you crept into the Marauders dorm and climbed into James’ bed. You stayed there all day. You felt safe surrounded by his scent and his things. You knew that he could always make you feel better, but you pulled the blankets up to your neck. That's where you stayed as you cried yourself to sleep.
You woke to the sound of the door opening and someone gasping. You didn’t care who it was, if they spoke to you, you’d just ask for James. You only wanted your best friend.
You didn’t hear the sounds of anyone approaching, but when you see them crouch down and see James himself in front of you, you whisper, “Jamie, you’re here.”
“Hey love,” he whispers back in response. He waves his wand and a glass of water appears in his hand. He hands it to you, and you drink it, before he waves it away as he looks at you sadly, “What’s wrong?”
“Jamie, I hate myself. I need you. Being around you makes me feel better.”
He smiled at you softly before he asked, “can I climb in with you?”
You hum in response as you open the blankets for him. You let go of them as he takes off his shoes and then climbs in next to you. He wraps the blanket around both of you, before he wraps his arms around you.
“Why do you hate yourself, love?”
“I feel fat. I look ugly. I can’t stand looking in the mirror. I don’t think anyone but you really likes me.”
“I need you to look at me, lovey,” James told you kindly, which made it hard to resist, you looked up at his beautiful and kind blue eyes. “Do you trust me?”
“Yes,” you didn’t lie about that. He was the only person you knew you could trust to tell you the truth, even on days like today, when you didn’t even trust yourself.
“Then trust me when I say this,” he tells you honestly as you look at different parts of his face; seeing his beauty, since looking in people’s eyes for too long would become uncomfortable. He didn’t mind and you knew that, as long as you listened. “You are the most beautiful person I know; inside and out. You may not believe it, but I’ll prove it and show you everyday, because I wish I could date someone like you.” He paused as you stopped looking at him and cuddled into him. “No, not someone like you. I wish I could have the courage when you’re not having a day like this, but I want to date you.”
“What about Lily?”, you whispered back.
“What about he-,” he cut himself off, before slowly saying, “I haven’t been flirting with her.” He kissed the top of your head. “I was flirting with you, but when they first asked me, I was embarrassed to say I was flirting with you. You were right there. I was worried you’d reject me and we’d go from being best friends to being awkward around each other to being people the other used to know.
“Jamie,” you knew he could hear the catch in your throat and that he’d probably realise you’d been crying, but they were no longer sad tears. “I’ve loved you since second year.”
He paused. “Really?”
You smiled and nodded, “yeah.” You paused cuddling into his warmth and yawned, lifting one of your hands to cover your mouth.
You listened as he told you, “I’ll spend the rest of my life showing and telling you how much I love you.”
You yawned again and he kissed the top of your head again, and rubbed your back as you whispered, “I love you, James.”
As you fell asleep, you could’ve sworn he whispered, “I love you too, angel.”
———————————
LATER THAT DAY
———————————
You woke up later that day still in James’ arms, with him holding you really close to him. One of his arms was rubbing your back gently and the other holding you as he leaned down to kiss the top of your head.
You hummed contentedly and James whispered, “Love, are you awake?”
You hummed again before yawning and then answered, “yeah, Jamie. Just woke up.”
“I have something I want to officially ask you,” he asked as you moved up slightly so the two of you were face to face.
You lifted your hand up to his cheek, he sighed and closed his eyes, “what is it?”
He opened his eyes, kissed your palm before asking, “I love you and from what you said before, you love me.” He paused and you nodded before he finally asked, “will you go out with me?”
Slowly you started smiling as you moved your hand down to his waist, hugging him, before you answered, “yes, I’d love to.”
You moved closer to him and pecked his lips.
“Do you feel any better now, my love?”
You looked at him as he cupped your cheek, closing your eyes and enjoying his touch. “Whenever you're around, I always feel better. I’m not back to 100% but you make me feel safe and you’ve always found a way to silence the voices. However, unlike today, it's usually your antics or the pranks that help to silence them enough that I stop paying attention to them as much.”
He smiled, before he moved closer, kissing you, with so much love and affection that you melted against him, before he pulled back.
“Are you hungry?”
You think for a moment before your stomach rumbles, answering for you.
He smiled before he kissed you. When he pulled back, he looked in your eyes, “I’ll go get us some food, my love. Is there anything specific that you’d like?”
You told him what you felt like eating and he smiled, before he said, “I’ll be back soon. Wait here?”
“Where else would I want to be?”
He gave you a peck on the cheek before he left, which made you blush. When he came back, he sat next to you before calling one of the house elves, who appeared with trays of food which slowly levitated over to the bed.
Both of you thanked the house elf before they disappeared.
He smiled at you before he leaned over to give you a quick kiss. The two of you ate and just spent the rest of the evening together.
Even when the rest of the guys came in, he just held you close as he talked to them. You joined in the conversation at times, and they were just as happy as always to see you.
That was one thing you loved about his friends; even before you became friends with them, they always included you when you were with James. All of them made you feel welcomed. With that thought, you turned and kissed James’ cheek and snuggled more into his side.
187 notes · View notes
damiansgoodgirll · 6 months
Note
i miss your writing so much, i hope your doing fine girl💖 we’re here for you
i was wondering if you could write if you feel like it, maybe having a fight with rhea? make it angst please 💘💘💘💘💘
thank you so much love <3
i would say i’m in my healing era but relapsing into old habits is easier than i thought.
i really hope you like this. sorry if it’s too short.
rhea ripley x reader
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i care
“can you please look at me?” your girlfriend rhea begged you. you were arguing for the past two hours and not even for one second you met her eyes. too hurt to even look at her face.
“baby…”
“don’t call me baby rhea…just don’t” you were mad and she knew it.
she knew she fucked up and she had no idea how to make you forgive her.
you’ve been waiting at the restaurant for four hours before damian called you telling you that rhea was at the gym training with liv.
you weren’t jealous about liv. she was your friend and you knew rhea didn’t like her. no, you were mad that for the fourth time that month, rhea forgot about the dates you two had.
but this time it wasn’t a simple date. it was your two years anniversary and instead of making it special, she ruined everything.
“it feels like you don’t care…” you said when you almost threw yourself on the couch.
and for a part, you knew rhea didn’t care. she didn’t love you anymore like she did at the beginning. she knew it too but she was to scared to admit it. she knew that if she broke up with you, it would paint her as a villain, as a bad person. you were the kindest person alive and that was made rhea fall in love with you. your kindness and your affection towards people.
but rhea didn’t love you anymore and she was too coward to say it to your face. what would people think if she hurt someone as sweet and kind like you? people would hate her and she didn’t want to face all the backlash that would have happened.
“i do care about you…” she sat next to you.
“not like you used to…rhea, who am i kidding? who are you kidding? you don’t love me anymore, you don’t care about me anymore, you’re cold and distant and everytime i try to have a normal conversation with you…you just shove me apart” you didn’t want to cry but this was hurting you, really bad “you spend all the time in the gym just so you can find me asleep when you come back home…all because you know guilty is eating you alive…i know you too well rhea, you want me to hate you, you want me to scream at your face, you want me to make you cry and o break up with you so you could feel a little less guilty…” you couldn’t believe you knew rhea so well “but it’s not fair…it’s not fair because i’ve been putting all of my energy into this relationship and you aren’t even trying, you didn’t even try…”
“i’m so fucking sorry…” she whispered.
“stop saying it if you don’t mean it!” you didn’t want to scream but saying all of the stuff you kept hidden inside was making you feel better.
“i don’t love you anymore y/n…is that what you want me to say? i don’t love you anymore but gosh…i fucking care about you and i can’t imagine living a life without you in it…i’m so sorry for how things turned out to be…i’m already hating myself so i don’t need you to hate me more” she wiped away her tears with her shaky hands.
she hated herself for hurting you.
she hated herself for making you crying when she swore she would kick anyone who would make you cry.
she hated knowing how love your heart held that you probably wouldn’t even hate her in the end.
“it’s better if we end up this fucked up relationship now…or someone is gonna suffer more” you said and she agreed.
you’ve spent the night wondering where or when did everything start to fall apart. 
were you too clingy? 
did you gain weight?
did her fans hate you?
were you too ugly for being in rhea standards?
you couldn’t understand what you did wrong but you knew that being in a toxic relationship was way much worse than being alone - and in all honesty, you liked having time for yourself.
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satorunigojaloo · 3 months
Text
Ugly crier
Gojo Satoru x f!Reader
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Genre: romance, angst
Warning: manga spoilers (ch236), jmention of death, mental illness, anxiety, ptsd(?), nswf: fingering, oralsex, cockwarming, blowjob, masturbating, little tickling, uhm dunno what else. Also a little fluff.
AN: this is my first ever real fanfic. I typed this on my phone in the notes and english is not my first language. There’s probably A LOT of spelling mistakes and weird sentences. I am also not an experienced writer so this is my debut and I would love constructive feedback.
Wordcount: 5k
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
After first being left alone when Satoru was sealed in Shibuya and then when he fought Sukuna. You were finally reunited with him.
Gojo Satoru was broken and bruised and in need of being taken care of and you gladly made sure he felt cared for. Nurturing his wounds, but also his urges and needs.
You came home after a long day at the jujutsu academy. After all the events with Sukuna and Kenjaku it felt nice to finally have some peace around yourself.
On december the 24th Gojo Satoru made history. Along with christmas, that date would be known as the day Ryomen Sukuna and all his remaining fingers was destroyed. Everyone was happy, Gojo Satoru really proved himself as the strongest.
Never had anyone seen him so bruised and damaged both physically and mentally. Despite that he managed to keep up his cheery smile as you visited him at the jujutsu tech hospital.
"Hey there!" You could hear the familiar voice say, but lacking the energy. It felt like he used all his energy to speak. Which wouldn’t be weird since he had literally been cut in half. How he even managed to speak before his lungs had healed properly was a miracle.
Well he was Gojo Satoru after all, you think for yourself and shaking your head before giving him a hey there back.
Shoko had left the room beforehand saying she needed a smoke and a break from it all, not revealing her own knowledge about you two. You couldn’t sense her presence nearby and grateful for the privacy you got.
Looking at him you could feel tears threaten, but you had promised him and yourself to not cry. Well mostly yourself because Satoru didn’t really care. He was a cry baby himself.
You brought a chair next to his bed, careful to not rip off any of the equipment that he was attached to. He slowly moved his hand to the side of the bed towards you and you placed your hand on top of his.
"Thought you had promised yourself not to cry, you’re such a liar…" he weakly tease at you and a small cough follows. You looked down and feel the heat in your eyes, the tears streaming down along with some snot from the nose. Your eyes clenched shut and you try to form a sentence but if you spoke it would just be ugly sobs.
The hand you previously held now moves toward your face, stroking your cheek gently. Surprised by the strength he had at the moment he grabs your chin and forced you to meet his gaze. You were never a pretty cryer, your face always turn red, wrinkles form between your eyebrows, snot from your nose and sometimes you even drooled.
Despite all that, you had long stopped caring about that, knowing Satoru wasn’t any better. You remember when you two had a movie night and decided to watch a really sappy movie. That’s when you first saw Satoru as a true human. He showed a side of himself you guessed few had seen. Perhaps no one.
He had left the room and gone to the bathroom, you didn’t bother to follow him until you heard weird sounds coming from behind the door. You slowly tiptoe to the bathroom door and you can’t believe it. Slowly knocking on the door you hear dead silence.
"Satoru? Are you crying?"
Silence.
Then the door unlocks and slowly opens, there you see it. For the first time in your life Gojo Satoru being ugly. Well not really ugly, but given his own standard he truly was low. You start to giggle and take him into your arms for a hug. His head on your shoulder and you can feel it wet from what you hoped are tears and not snot.
"I just feel so bad for poor Hachiko, he will never understand why his owner never come home." Satoru explained through his sobs.
At least that’s what you managed to put together from the mumbles. "There there" you patted his head and continue stroking his hair.
The memory puts a smile on your face and you finally manage to meet those vibrant blue eyes. "Yeah I really am a liar, sorry." His lips formed into a smile that could warm even the coldest days and you bend down to carefully kiss his forehead.
"If you hadn’t scared me like you did, maybe I wouldn’t cry." You giggle.
An hour went by of you two just talking and laughing, you forced yourself to leave him. He tried to hide it, but he was very tired and exhausted. You closed the door behind you and saw Shoko sat on a bench staring into the wall.
She noticed you a little later than she normally would. "H-hey there…" she whispered, sounded like she was about to choke. You sat down beside her and gently stroked her shoulder.
"Hey…" you whisper back "don’t worry, everything will be okay." She sighed and you thought you heard her say "sorry."
~
The week felt longer than usually while you waited for Satoru to come home. You had cleaned the whole apartment and tried to make it as welcoming and warm as possible. After you were done you tossed yourself on the sofa and watched the minutes tick by. Any second now he would be here.
The door opened and you flew up and ran to the door. There he was. His tall sillouette in the doorway. He was still in bandages and had a cane with him he used for support. It was hard to not run into his arms as you usually did. Afraid you would do more damage than good not knowing how his physical state were at the moment.
"I’m home."
"Welcome home"
Gently, as if it was your first time, your lips met eachother. His free hand rested on your hip. You both grinned into the kiss. Your hands in his hair down, pulling him even closer, the kiss deepened and soon turned more heated.
His grip on your hip tightened and his hand moved to your ass squeezing the flesh. When you moaned from the rough touch he wasted no time to push his tongue in your mouth.
Your tongues explored each others mouths between the kisses. Your cheeks heatened and you opened your eyes to look at him. His eyes were closed, long lashes touched his blushed cheeks.
He opened his eyes and met your with a halflidded look. The look in his eyes could only be described as hungry. Slowly he pulled away and you couldn’t ignore how beautiful i was.
Despite some faint scars on his face he truly was the most perfect human being you ever laid your eyes on. His lips were slightly swollen and pink from the kiss, they were slightly parted as he was breathing heavily.
"Fuck… I need you so much right now. Feel.." his hand gestured to his groin. Feeling how hard he was through the pants you rubbed it gently. "Let’s move this to the bedroom." You answered and grabbed his hand, dragging him with you.
Satoru left his cane and stumbled after you. You opened the door and as you both had entered the room he shut the door and your back was pushed against it. He used one hand as support leaning on the door behind you. You were trapped and your heart felt like it was going to explode from the throbbing.
He placed a knee between your thighs probably felt how wet you already were. His other hand moved to your cheek and caressed it before he tilted your head up. Hungry eyes. Starving eyes. Affectionate eyes.
His thumb stroked over your lips and inside your mouth. Your lips welcomed it and sucked on it. Never breaking eyecontact you could see how your actions affected him. He bit his own lip trying to contain himself.
Hand moved down your neck slowly, he carefully felt down your body until he stopped at the waistline of your pants.
Fingers snuck their way into your underwear and a moan escaped your mouth when you felt him stroking over your lips. Teasing your slith before he dipped a finger inside. "I see someone missed me." He smirked and as the whole finger entered you his lips met yours again.
He swallowed your moans with his and entered another finger in the prosess. The thumb that previously was in your mouth teased your clit. It was swollen and sensitive and he knew it.
Slow circular movements on your clit, two fingers pumping in and out of you and his lips and tongue hungrily against your. You could feel it now, the knot in your stomach tightened.
"Ahhh ‘toru, I’m going to—" he only sped up and wanted nothing more than to see you orgasm.
You clenched around his fingers and held onto his strong biceps for support. You tried to move due to the feeling of your orgasm being too much. Satoru did not let you as he held you tightly now with his other hand.
Moans were silenced by his kisses and even after you had climaxed he kept going. Not before he was sure you really climax did he stop.
He pulled away to look at his work. You could only be described as a hot mess, panting and quivering from his movements.
The two of you moved to the bed and swiftly he removed all your clothes. You laid on your back looking up at him. He seemed even taller now. His broad and muscular chest and arms flexed when he caught your stare.
"Enjoying the view?" That damn cheeky smile of his.
Your eyes were locked on him and the way his hands moved down to the edge of his shirt. He wore a tight black t-shirt that left little to the imagination.
He began moving in a seductive dance just like a stripper. You heard him hum what was supposed to be sexy music. You started to giggle and played along.
Satoru then got even more into it, slowly pulling his shirt up revealing his abs and chest. He held the shirt up with his teeth and caressed his muscular body for you. His hips still doing the seductive moments.
Above his belly button and under his pecks there was a huge scar. It was a little red still not healed completely. Must have been where he was—
He noticed what caught your attention and jokingly said. "My eyes are up here"
You met his gaze, "sorry couldn’t help but look at that yummy body of yours." You answered taking the hint that he did not want to focus on the injuries now.
The shirt held up with his teeth and his hands pulled down his pants showing off his v-line and his white happytrail.
You spread your legs for him and touched yourself while he was giving you a performance. His hands moved back up to take his shirt off. He struggled to keep up his show when you started to play with yourself.
"Well fuck this" he kicked of the pants and placed himself on top of you. "Remove those hands right now, they’re in the way." You did as he commanded. Smiling in victory he pecked you on the lips quick.
You pouted at him and he placed his finger on your mouth. "Shhh don’t pout, I just needed the space to do my thing."
Kisses placed from your neck and down to your breast. He kissed slowly around your nipple and your breath hitched in anticipation. A hand cupped your other breast. He squeezed it his hand while he tongued your nipple.
Tongue flicked your nipple one last time as it continued down. He avoided going further down than your belly button and teased you on purpose.
He looked up at you with a grin. "Maybe I should just stop here?" His finger circled around your belly button. He really knew how to edge you and get you on.
"You’re such a tease, Satoru-kun"
For a second you could see his face flush from the -kun at the end of his name.
"But you like to be teased, don’t you? Just imagine if this was your sexy pussy." He dipped the finger in your navel and you felt a ticklish feeling. He saw how you tried to contain your laugh and wiggled his finger more.
"So sensitive and ticklish." His other hand tickled your ribs and you couldn’t stop your laughter.
His fingers moved down underneath your ass, grabbed your buttcheeks and pulled you down. Your legs placed on his shoulder and before moving down he gave your navel a kiss. Already turned on and wet from your orgasm earlier you were extra sensitive.
His tongue moved in clockwise motion on your clit making you grip the bedsheets. You tossed your head back and moans escaped your lips.
Your release came quicker this time and he looked up at you with a smug face. He wiped his mouth as he said "still got it."
"My turn now, lay down. Satoru." Gladly he laid down on his back and you finally got to see his throbbing member.
The first time you had seen Satoru’s dick you were conflicted between annoyance and excitement. Of course he wasn’t only beautiful, strong, funny and smart… he had a huge dick aswell. The annoyance had quickly been taken over by excitement because you couldn’t wait to have it inside you.
His member was warm and you could almost feel his yearning for release. Precum was leaking from the pink tip. Your hand seem so small, barely able to grip around it. A soft whimper escaped his lips when he felt your touch. Your thumb pressing on his slith and smeared his precum over the tip.
You could feel those blue piercing eyes on you and you hum in content as you put the tip in your mouth. His hand stroked your hair and massaged your scalp.
He did everything in his power to not push your head down and fill your mouth completely. His moans was like music in your ears and you begun licking his head.
The spit from your mouth dripped down his member and you slowly followed and took him in you slowly. One of your hands were gripping the base of the cock and the other cupped his balls.
"Mmngh… yo— ah" Satoru whimpered not able to speak properly as you know worked your way up and down his cock with your mouth. You sucked on his head and tongue played with his slit. That and your hand also doing movement, your spit as lube you jerked him off.
His cheeks were flushed and you could hear him panting more as you speed up. His eyes met yours, his bangs stuck to his forehead from the sweat. Those ocean blue eyes that was framed by his long white lashes sparkled more than usual.
"Nngh—, ahh… I need you to stop before I lose it completly." You sat up and admired the man before you. Just when you thought he was out of breath he quickly pulled you down to him.
He laid sideways and you snuggled in this embrace, you backside against his front. In a spooning position he lift your leg up for better access. The arm under your head wrapped around your neck, holding your tight without choking you.
You felt his fingers between your slit trying to locate where he’ll insert himself. He did, and you felt his tip pushing against your entrance. "You ready? It’s been a while so I sure hope you haven’t forgot how I feel inside you." The way his silky voice whispered in your ear gave you goosepumps.
"I need you inside me Satoru." Is all you managed to say and like that he slowly inserted himself. One arm wraps around your body holding you in place and when you finally felt him completely inside you you gasp.
"Have some patience with me, been so long that I’m constantly on the edge." You let him take his time and finding his pace, a slow rhytm where he almost pull out, but just before he enters again. Filling you up again and again.
While fucked you in a slow pace his mouth nibbled on your neck and sucked on your earlobe. "I need to kiss you." He said and used one hand to grip your cheeks and turn your face to him. His mouth was hungry for your taste.
Everything was so hot, you felt a sensual overload as his pace sped up. His hand moved from your cheeks and down to your clit. You felt him smirk in your kiss when he rubbed your clit and you already was close.
It was almost unatural how fast this man made you cum, perhaps a little embarrassing.
Both of you moaned in unison, but you broke the kiss unable to control yourself when your third orgasm hit you. The sensitive overload was almost too much. Satoru held you tightly against him as he rammed his huge cock in and out of you. Your fluids soaked him and Satoru was now close.
"I can’t hold it in anymore, are you ready?"
His moans filled your ears and you felt him emptied his cum inside you. "Ahhh shit, that was… that was so amazing. You are amazing. I love you so much."
He wraps himself around you, you’re still in spooning position and his cock inside you.
"I love you too Satoru."
You fell asleep like that, in his warm embrace. Never feeling safer than when you are next to Satoru.
-
The warmth you felt as you fell asleep was long gone. You opened your eyes and noticed the empty space next to you. Where did Satoru go?
Your heart started beat in fear and you jumped out of bed to check the apartment. After looking everywhere you gave up, he was nowhere to be found. Perhaps he had gone out? But it was weird he didn’t let you know.
You tried to calm yourself and not overthink anything. In desperate need of a shower you made your way to the bathroom.
The water ran down your body and suddenly you felt this painful sting in your chest. Your throat tightened and you struggled to breathe. You clenched your hand to your chest in hope to stop the pain.
You felt dizzy and slowly sunk down in a seated position in the shower. Thoughts entered your head, thought you did not welcome. You were about to admit defeat and let the memories take over, but strong arms wrap themselves around you.
He was there. He was back again. You wrapped your arms around him and hugged him back.
"I thought you were gone." You sob into his chest. His hand stroked your hair and he hummed soothingly. "I will never leave you, you know that."
For a moment you felt a strike of pain hearing that sentence, but brushed it off accepting that he’s with you.
You finish cleaning yourself up, now in company with Satoru. Last night happened so fast you hardly got to take a look at him. He was healed more now, but the wound across his upper abdomen was now a pink raw scar. Your fingers traced along it and you heard him cringe.
"Sorry. It’s just weird to see your body like this." You whispered, retracting your hands. "Yeah, I really got myself messed up, but thanks to you I could come home again." He smiled warmly at you and you kissed him on the cheek. "I love you so much and I am so happy you’re here with me."
Getting dressed you look at your phone and see a text from Utahime.
"Hey, I hope you’re doing okay. Just know that I’m here for you if you need. If you want me to handle all the arrangements for friday let me know. Also I made sure you could stay home from work until then."
You decided to answer later and locked your phone. Right now you had more important things to do, which was to feed yourself and your fiance.
"I forgot to do the groceries so we need to go out to grab some food." You shouted out to Satoru. Silence.
"Satoru?" Silence again.
You walked out to the livingroom and you felt that pain in your chest again, but quickly calmed down when you heard a cheeky voice behind you. "No need to shout, I’m right here. And sure I’m up for anything as long as it’s food." He smiled as he lifted up the cane from the floor.
He looked so cute now, Satoru wore his round sunglasses, a grey beanie and a black jacket and leaned on his cane like an old man. His other hand on your shoulder for support.
One of the few times your height difference came in handy. You made your way to a foodstand when you saw a familiar face. It was Yuji and some girl you didn’t know, but she was really tall.
"Sensei! Hi, what are you doing here?" Despite a cheery greeting you sensed something else. You decided to let go of it and wait for Satoru to answer his student. No answer, and you notice the weight on your shoulder was gone confused you look around and then met Yuji’s eyes.
"Just on the hunt for something for us to eat. We forgot to shop yesterday." You answered instead since Satoru suddenly decided to dip on you. Yuji gave you a confused look but quickly turned and wished you a happy dinner. Trailing of with the girl hand in hand.
Now to find that idiot who suddenly developed a habit to disappear. Where could he be? You thought as you paced around again. About to give up you find a bench and sit down.
Your eyes wandered over the sight before you, the park was filled with people. Families, friends and couples. A trio caught your eye, a man and a woman with a child. They must be a family.
Watching them play together and laugh for some reason made you sad. Suddenly the man had white hair and familiar blue eyes and the woman looked like you. The child was beautiful with white hair and blue eyes aswell. Was this a dream?
The pain in your chest rose up and breathing became harder. You closed your eyes in an attempt to overcome this nausating feeling. Your desperate tries for air turned into hyperventilating.
Standing up from the bench in panic, you heard voices ask if you’re okay but unable to answer. You tried to find support and your hand searced to hold onto something before you fell. Too late and last thing you remembered was Satoru who took you in his arms.
"SATORU!" You shot up from whatever you laid on. A bed. Hospital bed? Not a normal hospital because you see Shoko and Yuji there. Worried looks on their faces as they look at you. "Sensei… are you okay?" The pinkhaired boy asked holding your hand.
"Yes I’m fine, just fainted. Probably from lack of food. We were gonna get some when I met you, but then I lost-" you stop your sentence and looked away.
After assuring them that you were okay you were left alone. Not soon after you heard a knock on the door and in came the ghost. Or atleast that’s what you’ll call him from now on.
"Where did you go? Why do you just disappear suddenly?" You didnt hide your frustration as good as you intended.
He walks toward you and kissed your lips. "I’m here, don’t worry."
Later Shoko came back when you were alone again. She had an unreadable look on her face. "What?"
She didnt answer immediatly, it seemed like she struggled to find an answer.
".. you.. Are you… ah fuck this." Shoko sigh and you could see her choosing her words carefully. As if you were some fragile porcelain that could break anytime.
"Did Utahime send you a text?" You nodded and she continues "okay, so then you are aware of what happens on friday?" You stared blankly at her. You nod again but you had long gone into another trail of thoughts.
You could hear in the distance Shoko talking and explaining something. You keep nodding and eventually it’s quiet and you snap back to reality "anyway so on friday I pick you up okay? Okay good. You can go home now. Please take care and call before anything like this happens again. Especially if you’re alone."
Looking at Shoko with a puzzled look you Thank her and leave. What did she mean alone? She knew you weren’t alone.
Satoru probably left his cane with Shoko and was now walking without it. He stood outside, waiting for you to come running into his arms.
Forgetting all about the food the two of you stroll home.
It was now friday morning and you felt this lump inside you. Even though you woke up with the most beautiful human to exist the feeling of sadness crept up.
Satoru slept soundly, his long lashes reaching cheeks, hair hanging over his face and a faint of pink on his cheeks and nose. You couldn’t resist the urge to touch him. He was laying on his side, one arm under his pillow and head, the other hanging over his chest.
You brushed his hair away from his eyes to get a better look at him. The movements must’ve woken him because slowly his eyes opens. Your heart stopped for a second as he looked at you. Such dreamy bedroom eyes, you could look at them for hours.
A pling was heard from your phone and you sigh in annoyance that this moment was interrupted. It was Shoko who confirmed time for pickup. A quick ‘oki’ and you turn your attention back to Satoru.
"I guess you’re also going with me and Shoko later?" You ask now laying on his chest aimlesly stroking a finger over his arm and chest.
"I will be there aswell, but I’ll meet you guys there." He answers and kisses your head.
"Satoru?"
"Hmm?"
"I love you."
"I love you too."
Satoru left and promised he would be there later when you and Shoko arrived. His absens immediatly made you feel uneasy, but comforted yourself with the thought of seeing him soon.
You put on a black dress and jacket as you went out the door. An umbrelly in hand in case it would rain. Shoko was outside in her car and you saw she had also chosen black.
The car ride was quiet and Shoko didnt have radio turned on either. She looked like she’d been crying, but you could never tell truly with her.
Stepping out of the car you are met with many familiar faces, all bearing black. You try to look for Satoru which shouldn’t be so hard given he’s a head taller than most. Panic hits you as you can’t locate him.
Utahime greeted you and helt you in a tight hug. You hugged back and kept looking around over her shoulder. When you definetely couldn’t see him you finally ask.
"Where is Satoru?"
Silence.
Utahime gestures you to follow her inside. The room was grey with smooth rock surfaces. A table in the middle with candles around caught your attention.
No Words are said and when Utahime removes the white cloth you felt your world stop.
Pinching yourself you try to see if this was real, but nothing happened. Before you laid what you feared the most. His skin was as white as his hair and bandages around the stomach and torso trying to hide the fact he had so violently been cut in half.
Realizing that the last few days had not been real, the touches, kisses, laughs and warmth was a lie. He had lied to you. He said he was there and you would never be alone. Yet before you laid the love of your life, dead.
Your body shake and that pain in your chest and tightening in your throat is ten times worse.
Utahime had left the room leaving you alone. You stumble towards him, his skin cold.
You scream.
The screams could be heard all around jujutsu tech. Everyone had dreaded the time when you finally realized what really had happened.
Tears, snot and saliva running down your face as you keep screaming. The pain you felt was worse than any pain.
"Thought you promised yourself you wouldn’t cry…" that voice. You turn around and you see him smiling at you from the corner.
Stunned you just stare, wondering what even is real. "You…" your voice died off and he walk towards you.
"Are… are you..?"
You got lost in his embrace and you hear his soft voice speak.
"I’m sorry that I couldn’t truly come back home to you. I will always be right here with you even if you can’t see me." As the embrace fainted away and left you trembling you sank down next to his body.
Your hand cupped his cold hand.
"I can’t promise to not cry anymore, Satoru. That would only make a liar." You say softly, stood up and kissed his forehead one last time.
"Thank you for everything, I hope you found your peace."
That friday was the funeral for Gojo Satoru, the man who always had stolen your heart and soul from the moment you left. You fidgeted with the ting on your finger and remembered the day he gave it to you. A promise to never leave you alone. What a liar.
You didn’t care how you looked as you cried your heart out, because Satoru never cared that you were an ugly crier.
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spidrstar · 8 months
Text
A LITTLE BIT MORE
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★ pairing: aged up!miles1610 x latina!reader
★ warnings: all characters in this story are 18!!! suggestive i think?
★ summary: Miles has been your math tutor for the past few months and you can’t lie, he’s been sort of your lil bestfriend too because you tell him all about your boy problems and everything. It got to a certain point where you were about to let something personal slip.. specifically how you didn’t know how to kiss. Miles may be a lil nerd n a tutor n all but he still gets play, so you asked him to show you how to kiss and it slowly turned into more than that.. a make out session.
★ w/c: 2k
★ a/n: ok so ik i put up a poll for y’all to choose but.. i rly wanted to write abt 1610 miles esp for this one shot 😣 sry yall i got yall w the next one shot tho trust🙏
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“Miles, please don’t make me do this problem on my own.. you know how I am with fractions.”
You groaned at just the sight of the problem and leaned back on your arms.
For context, you were currently in Miles’ room with three different text books sprawled out open on the floor. He’s been your math tutor for the past four months because you failed your last two math classes and couldn’t afford to fail one more because that would cause you to fail the grade. Today, you were both going over things that were going to be in your test at the end of the marking period.
You’ve been studying non-stop all week and grew tired of it (even though all you mostly did was get off topic and have endless conversations with Miles.)
“Y/n, c‘mon you can’t do this every time i’m tutoring you. Just try.” Miles smiled at your reaction to the math problems in the book.
“Can we please just take a small break?”
“..Y/n our last break was 5 minutes ago.”
“Exactly my point!! It’s been too long.”
He chuckled at you and had no choice but to give in. It’s not like he didn’t enjoy the silly conversations you both had. You both saw each other as.. you wouldn’t say therapists but more of a.. comfort friend? Just someone you could talk to freely basically. At this point you were practically each others best friend, you just hadn’t noticed it yet.
Miles always enjoyed your company, no matter what you both were doing as long as it was together. You rarely ever hung out together if it wasn’t involved with tutoring, but that wasn’t a bad thing. You would almost get tutored everyday because math just really wasn’t something you were good at..
“Soo.. what’s with you and that guy what was his name.. Ethan?”
“It’s Evan, and we fell out. I found him talking to two of my friends at the same time and I wasn't gonna stay around to see that unfold. I told them of course, just didn’t wanna be there to witness the outcome.”
He raised his eyebrows in surprise, Miles knew your situation with guys very very well. He knew almost all of the guys you messed around with, well.. weren’t the best. If he was honest, they sucked ass. They all seemed to go after you for one thing, your body. Miles always hated the idea of you talking to another guy, not in a weird or possessive way of course, he was just over protective of you. He always remembers the nights you would text him asking him if he was free just to cry in his arms.
Sometimes you would come in all moody to your study sessions too and for you that was off, because when you opened your mouth it never seemed to shut.
He palmed his face and sighed in disappointment of yet another shitty guy you messed with.
“I told you he seemed off. He was wayy too friendly for a guy that ‘only wanted to be with you’ I never trusted him and i’m proud to say i didn’t.” Miles quoted with his fingers.
You smiled and looked down at the floor deep in thought, “Yeah well, he was ugly anyways. Personality wise too, he never really made me laugh. When I did laugh around him I would laugh at him, not with him. Y’know?”
“Yeah, I would notice. Your laughs never seemed genuine around him.” He shrugged.
You smirked and cocked an eyebrow. “Oh yeah? And what’s ‘genuine’ to you?”
Miles leaned in and placed his palms on his knees looking up at the ceiling thinking of what to say.
“Like.. it’s hard to explain. Around me, your laughs just have a higher pitch and you lose your breath much quicker and you make random sounds while laughing which is what gets me to laugh. Then, around him your laughs were like so motone and you didn’t really hold onto your stomach as if it hurt from laughing so much, you get me?”
You stared at him in disbelief from how much he went into detail, you never thought of how much he really paid attention to you. Your face was a little bright red, you were flustered because you just felt so.. special? The feeling was unknown.
“Wow.. that’s—that’s a lot. I get what you mean though, his jokes were never as funny as yours were. You don’t even have to try to make me laugh.” You smiled.
He smiled back and made a proud expression, you knew what was coming next. Miles always made this face when he was about to brag about something.
“Thank you, I get that a lot from girls. I always make sure to keep them entertained and never treat them like shit. I don’t understand how you manage to find guys like that, I would never do what they do. Pretty sure my ma would kill me.” He chuckled at the last sentence.
You rolled your eyes at the bragging, you knew Miles had game and had many many girls falling for him. I mean, who wouldn't fall for him? Look at him, he has a great personality, he's caring, a momma's boy which, by the way, is totally adorable and he’s just so sweet and genuine. His smile was contagious and he was attractive too of course..
You snapped back to reality, your mind wandering off somewhere else.
“Bet you got lots of bitches huh.” You choke out a laugh trying to ignore the thoughts lingering at the back of your head.
“Nah, it may seem that way but I honestly got my eye set on one girl. I’m not bout that ‘playa’ shit y’know? Gotta keep it real and let ‘em know that cause leading people on ain’t what i’m about.”
You looked at him intensely, really wondering who this girl was. Although you felt the urge to beg him to tell you because you knew how stubborn he was, you didn’t. You were scared you weren’t gonna like his answer so you brushed the feeling aside.
You wouldn’t admit it to anyone but yourself (barely) you had feelings for Miles, you weren’t aware of it until about a month ago when you went on countless dates. On every single one, Miles was in your head and you couldn’t seem to focus on the person in front of you.
“That’s surprising, if you’re not a player like you say you aren’t how do you treat your girls?” You quickly switched the topic and switched the rolls.
“Well, ion be messin’ around with other girls or on that friendly shit y’know? Every chance I get ima flaunt my girl like she’s the lottery.” He smiled proudly.
You scoffed in jealousy. “Wow, I wish there were more guys like you shit ONE like you at least.”
Miles blushed a bit at the way you said you wanted someone like him. He quickly recovered and perked a brow, scoffing with a proud expression.
“Yeah well, I'm one of one. Can’t find anyone like me.”
“I just can’t believe it, I haven’t even been with one guy who’s good enough to show me how to-“
You quickly saved yourself from the embarrassment and threw your hands over your mouth. Miles took notice of this and he raised a brow at you and moved slightly closer.
“Show you how to what?” He asked, smirking only slightly.
Heat rose to your cheeks, you covered your face and grumbled from already feeling embarrassed even though you hadn’t even told him yet. You hid yourself in your knees not wanting to face him.
“C’mon I promise I won't laugh!” He begged.
“Yes you will! I know you!”
“I swear on my pet hamster's life I won't.” He spoke seriously.
You looked up a bit, sighing and agreeing to say what was on your mind, you had always been ashamed of it because you never really kissed just anyone. You wanted it to be special, of course you’ve kissed a few but your old self thought they were special when they weren’t.
“F-Fine. I—I..don’t know how to kiss.” You whispered the last part lowly, too embarrassed to say it outloud.
“A lil louder than that Y/n, it’s just you and me here c’mon.” He sweetly smiled at you placing a hand on your back.
“I don’t know how to kiss.” You said bluntly, looking straight to avoid his striking gaze.
All that could be heard were stifled chuckles and you turned to stare at the culprit, Miles was cupping his mouth with both hands trying not to burst out laughing straight in your face. You smacked the back of his head and scolded him for swearing.
“Miles! You swore on your hamster's life!”
Laughter erupted from him and could be heard loudly throughout the room. Soon he calmed down and collected enough breath to speak.
“He died like a week ago, it's fine.”
“What?! And you didn’t tell me?? Tu si eres malo.”
“Whatever, back on topic. You don’t know how to kiss? How? You’re like, genuinely one of the prettiest girls I know.”
You blushed at both the comment and from embarrassment. You were 18 almost 19 and didn’t even know how to properly have a make out session, not that it was your fault. All the guys you messed with genuinely sucked, and your lips were far too precious for you to just place them on anyone.
“Hey! No es culpa mía, i bet you’re not even good at kissing either.” I huffed angrily.
“Actually, I'm quite known for being a great kisser para tu información.” He admitted proudly.
Then, an idea spiked up in your head. He was your best friend.. you think? Might as well take this perfect opportunity to ask him for a favor, a huge one. This had you nervous though, because it could go two ways. He would say yes and show you and you both would continue to live your lives as if nothing happened, as normal friends right? Or.. you would be embarrassed for the rest of it if he said no. How would you recover from that? Whatever.. might as well do it now and pray nothing bad happened.
“Miles?” You finally spoke, with a serious tone hiding behind your words.
“Yes?”
“Could you.. um—do me a favor?” You spoke shyly, a wave of nervousness was coming at you and strong.
“Depends. What is it?” He spoke more lowly now with curiosity, he subconsciously moved closer to you to hear you clearly. In case you’d decided to whisper again since that was a habit.
You took a deep breath, preparing yourself for what was to become. This determined whether or not you would ever talk to him or see him the same, you seriously thought you wouldn’t be able to recover from this.
“Could you..maybe.. teach me?” You looked down at the floor again, biting the inner corner of the inside of your cheek. You were slightly sweating from how nervous you were.
A few seconds of silence passed before you looked up nervously. Many thoughts racing in your mind right now;
‘What if he was making fun of me in his head right now?’
‘What if he didn’t want to be friends with me anymore?’
‘What if he thought I was weird?’
‘What if he hates me now?’
Your thoughts were quickly put to a pause when he spoke up, you thought you were dreaming when you heard the words escape his mouth.
“Sure, I’ll teach you. But are you sure like, completely sure you wanna do this? I’m kinda rough with it, and i don’t know if you’d like it.” He spoke softly when looking at you.
You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding, shutting your eyes and nodding. You smiled sweetly at him, your heart speeding up with a hint of excitement. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t think about kissing Miles at least once.
“Yes, I'm sure.” You stared at his eyes then his lips wide eyed, your eyes glistening with anticipation. Your lips were slightly parted as you oh so wanted to lean in and just kiss his pretty lips already, but you waited for him to instruct you on what to do.
He moved closer to you and sat in front of you staring at you with slightly hooded eyes. He smirked as he spoke and that’s all you seemed to notice.
“Alright, first you needa part your lips slightly which i see you’re already doing. Then, you just tilt your head to whichever side you prefer and lean in. Close your eyes obviously, then just follow my lead. Simple, you got it?”
You nodded once again, and blushed lightly as he leaned in closer. His hand made his way up and he gently placed it on the side of your neck and tilted his own head shutting his eyes to kiss you.
“Alright, here we go..” He whispered.
With that, he kissed you gently. His soft lips locked with yours, surprisingly you seemed to follow along quickly and placed one of your hands on his toned chest. Your breaths seemed to quicken with every second that passed and he started to lean in more, this time you were slightly pushed back. You held onto the front of his shirt pulling him down with you. Your forearms supporting your upper weight as you laid back on the floor.
Miles now completely on top of you deepened the kiss, his tongue softly grazed against your bottom lip asking for permission to enter which you complied to. He placed his hand back on your neck, his fingers resting on the bottom part of your lower head pushing you against him more. You let a low moan slip past you and you opened your eyes wide, with shock but quickly closed them back up once you heard the sounds he made.
The ‘agressiveness’ he mentioned now showing as low growls escaped his lips when getting a few seconds to breathe between kisses. His tongue fighting with yours for dominance which he quickly claimed.
He broke the kiss, a string of saliva showcasing how intense the kiss was. He smirked against your lips and you both breathed heavily against each other, chests heaving up and down rapidly. He caressed the sides of your waist slipping one hand under the hem of your shirt and leaned in to seductively whisper in your ear.
“I think I'm gonna have to teach you a little bit more than just kissing, ma.” He smirked.
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★ translations: tu si eres malo - you’re so mean || no es culpa mía - it’s not my fault || para tu información - for your information ||
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