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whipped-for-kpop-fics · 4 days

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X Marks the Spot - K.SY

🏴‍☠️Who; Kwon Soonyoung (Seventeen) x female reader 🏴‍☠️What; Humour. Bestfriends to lovers. I guess some tiny fluff? Adult themes. 🏴‍☠️Wordcount; 5.8k 🏴‍☠️Warnings; Profanity. Party typical alcohol mentions but neither SY nor reader are drinking. Kind of jealous/possessive Soonyoung. Making out in public places. The whole point of this story is Soonyoung in a costume marketed for women, so if that's not your vibe then this story is not for you, friend.

Although there isn't any smut, this is definitely an 18+ fic so Minors do NOT interact. I WILL block any account that interacts without an age indicator in the bio.

Summary; You stupidly left the job of buying your costumes for the party down to Soonyoung, and now you're paying for it and have to spend the night watching him dancing in those little shorts initially intended for you.

-2024 Masterlist-

A/N; this is all because I can't get the thought of Soonyoung in the pirate outfit from my "Sexy costumes for Seventeen to wear" post out of my head. made myself feral with that one.

Completely out of the blue last week, Seungkwan decided to send a message in the group chat that he's throwing a costume party. No reason for it, nothing had happened to warrant a party, he had simply decided he wanted to do it and demanded the entire group be there and in costume.

Soonyoung had, unsurprisingly, already been by your side on our couch watching the latest episode of the drama you two were obsessed with, when the message came through. After the episode you both looked at your phones and Soonyoung immediately started to look for costume ideas excitedly. He soon found and fell in love with a pirate outfit and after showing you it, he said it's part of a couple costume and as besties, you have to match because 'that's what besties do'. In the year you have known Soonyoung, you have never truly said no to him and this was no different.

Though perhaps you should've at least looked at the female half of the matching costume before agreeing instead of blindly trusting your best friend.

Which leads us to here. It's an hour before the party is due to start and Soonyoung has just turned up at your apartment to get ready together just like always. He has the parcel of costumes in his arms and a bright excited grin on his face when he hands it over to you to allow him to remove his shoes.

"I haven't opened it yet," He informs, watching you walk over to the couch to lean the parcel against the arm and open it like you knew he wanted you to. Soonyoung knows you get an odd sense of joy from opening parcels whether or not they're for you so he often brings his orders over or invites you to his apartment to allow you to open them for him.

"So I see," You muse with a little giggle.

Soonyoung appears at your back a moment later, leaning his chin on your shoulder to peer into the bag as you open it. The first costume out is his, packaged in another bag though this is clear revealing the cardboard insert with a picture of a man in the costume on the front. He takes it happily when you offer it and bounces aside to start to open it excitedly.

There's only one more item in the bag, your costume so you take it out, excited about your matching pirate outfits too. Up until you turn the packet over to look at the picture and realise that this truly is not what you expected, especially not from your best friend.

"What the actual fuck, Kwon Soonyoung?!" You demand flabbergasted.

"Uh-oh, the full name," Soonyoung looks up at you in alarm, all sign of joy gone. "Did they send the wrong thing?"

"I hope so because if you saw this on the site and still ordered it, you and I are going to have some issues." You turn the packet to show him the picture on the cardboard insert. A picture of a woman in a tiny pair of high-waisted shorts, if they could even be considered that with fishnet tights underneath. There's an attempt at a white top that honestly could be a lot worse, it's off the shoulder and cropped but it's honestly not as bad as it could be for a female-focused costume, but still far too revealing for your liking. To finish it off, she's wearing a striped bandana on her head with a plastic sword in her hands and you're very certain that the sword alone is the only reason the packet is that big because there's certainly not enough material creating the costume to require such a size bag.

Soonyoung stares at the picture for a second then looks up at you with a confused little pout. "It's a pirate outfit."

"Show me yours," You demand with a sigh. He doesn't hesitate to move over and hand you his costume, still in the packet just about.

There's a clear difference in costumes. The picture on his packet depicts a man in three-quarter length vertically striped trousers and a simple white shirt with an open neckline revealing a thin triangular strip of skin down to his sternum, finished with the same bandana as your costume and a plastic sword. Though, of course, the man's sword is bigger than the woman's sword. Of course, the men get the big boy sword and the women get the toothpick.

"You seriously don't see a problem with this?" You ask, holding the two packets up side by side so that he can see the photos together. Poor, naive Soonyoung looks between the pictures rapidly in a desperate attempt to understand. Yet he winds up just shaking his head as he looks at you with such an innocent expression that you know that he seriously doesn't understand the problem here at all. "Then you can wear this one." You declare, handing him the woman's outfit before turning to stalk off to your bedroom.

"What?!" He sputters, scrambling to follow you down the short corridor. "This is for women!"

"You've said before, clothes have no gender!" You remind, turning at the threshold with a hand on your open door ready to close it and a sweet smile on your face. "If you want to match with me, Soonyoungie, you wear that and I'll wear this."

He stares between you and the packet in his hand for a moment before agreeing with a nod and a simple "okay".

And that right there, is your second mistake.

When you had told Soonyoung to wear that outfit, you really had not been prepared for how fucking good he'd look in the skimpy little outfit. So now you have to spend the next hours at Seungkwan's bustling apartment pretending that your gaze isn't constantly locating Soonyoung in the dim lighting as he happily dances amongst other costumed bodies.

Sure, you've seen Soonyoung topless before so you know the man has a frankly incredible body usually hidden under the baggy clothes he usually prefers to wear, but the sexy little pirate outfit highlights his strong torso and biceps so well. The cropped top stops at his sternum giving full view of the top half of his defined abs, the bottom half hidden by the high waist of the shorts. And those shorts? They really do not leave a lot to the imagination at all so Soonyoung has spent the entire night so far carefully doing his best to keep the sword strapped around his hips dangling in front of his crotch. You had obligingly given him the bigger sword when you had realised that the 'woman's' sword wasn't exactly wide enough to cover him. Neither of you had made eye contact when you had handed it over without a word because you both knew what it meant and the fact you had obviously seen the bulge of his flaccid dick in the tight shorts.

Which honestly, had only made you wonder how big he was hard, and that was a thought that you usually try to avoid; thinking of your best friend in a sexual situation. Though his pure existence alone makes it very hard.

Kwon Soonyoung doesn't realise how attractive he is and you're kind of grateful about it. Because if that unfairly effortlessly attractive man knows how hot he is, then you know he'll be cocky and dress to show off more often than just for nights out or special occasions, and you would not mentally survive that.

As it is, you're not sure you'll survive the night.

"One day, you two are going to stop being stupid and just fuck it out," Chan comments from your right where he stands in his doctor's outfit; Seungkwan's wearing a matching one somewhere else in the apartment and you really can't tell if it's intentional or not with those two. They're always bickering and acting like they hate each other but they're always the first the other goes to for any reason whatsoever.

"Please make it before the end of summer so I don't lose money," Seungcheol requests from your left, leaning against the wall with you and dressed in a suit just like his own best friend and roommate, wherever she has disappeared to. She's likely with Junhui based on the way the pair have been eyeing each other for the past hour -and since they met really but that's another story entirely.

"You assholes have bets on us fucking?" You gawp in betrayed disbelief at the suited man.

"Yup," Seungcheol confirms shamelessly while Chan tries to sputter out a denial that makes you level the youngest with an unimpressed look. However, it doesn't last because you hear Soonyoung's loud voice even over the music and automatically look over to where your best friend is trying to stop Seokmin from grabbing at his sword. No euphemism even if the plastic is in the right place. "Looks like Seok's going to get further with your boy than you ever have." Seungcheol sniggers. You shove his arm making him laugh harder.

"Swordplay," Chan giggles then wanders off without another word to refill his cup after swallowing the last of its contents.

"Seriously though, you should like, go fuck him," Seungcheol speaks a moment later when Soonyoung has successfully distracted Seokmin by grabbing the younger's hands to make him dance with him. Soonyoung shoots you a world-weary, wide-eyed look that makes you snicker and wave innocently at him.

"You really don't want to lose money, huh."

"It's not even about that, just you two. This has been going on for over a year now; this gross pining shit. Just sit on his dick and ask him on a date, it's not that hard."

"You can't say shit, Cheol."

"Hey, I've fucked her, regularly," he defends with a pout before sipping at his drink.

"Oh yeah, because fucking your best friend who you've been in love with since childhood while encouraging her to go after your friend who she's been mutually eyefucking for the past three months is so much better." You retort sarcastically and give him a look. He can't refute it at all, it's entirely true and he's confided in you enough for you both to know that he's constantly making his own heartbreak worse by continuing to indulge his best friend both in bed and when she comes home and whines over how good Junhui looks.

"We're as bad as each other," he decides after a second.

"Don't lump me with you, I've never fucked him." You scoff and turn back around to naturally locate Soonyoung where he's back to smiling away as he dances with Seokmin and some others.

"You want to,"

"Yeah, I really fucking do," you exhale and swallow down the last of your drink only to frown down into the empty disposable cup. "I need a real drink."

"You know you can't drink around him like this or you will ask to suck his dick." Seungcheol reminds you of the very reason why you're always the designated driver when Soonyoung dresses up.

Because yes, you have come close to getting on your knees in the middle of a club for him. Luckily, Seungcheol had noticed and took you home before you actually acted on the urge to publicly defile your best friend. Unluckily, Seungcheol had noticed and has not failed to mention it at every chance. But at least it's stayed between the two of you.

"At this rate, I'll do it regardless," you mutter, still frowning into your empty cup. "Back in a bit." Seungcheol just grunts to show he heard before you slump off to the kitchen to refill your cup with one of the non-alcoholic beverages lining the counter.

You've barely finished filling your cup when a familiar hand reaches around you and picks it up to start gulping down. Even though you know it's Soonyoung, you still look over your right shoulder where he's chugging down the drink entirely unaware of your thirsty gaze watching the drop of liquid that escapes from the corner of his mouth trail down over his chin and jaw and down his neck to catch on his collar bone. You refrain from leaning in to slurp it up and lick your way up the trail it left all the way to Soonyoung's mouth.

Instead of staring at the way his throat bobs as he swallows down the last drops, you turn back around and wait for him to place the cup down so that you can refill it. And then he grabs it again before you can, making you groan. "Seriously?"

"M'thirsty," he defends barely pulling the cup away and accidentally dribbling some of the liquid from his mouth onto your shoulder. You look at him in disgust. He just grins sweetly and kisses your cheek in a sticky apologetic way before leaning back up to get back to his task of once again, stealing your drink.

At least this time when you've refilled the cup, he doesn't steal it away and lets you actually lift it to your own mouth. You can feel his eyes on you as you drink so you side-eye him questioningly without moving the cup away.

"Are you taking Seungcheol home again?" He asks, stepping closer to you as someone passes too close behind him, his left hand falling to your hip and his right on the counter, sort of caging you in though you know it's unintentional even if you wish it wasn't.

"He can take himself home, he's not drinking tonight," you reply, distracted by the feeling of plastic pressing against you. "Your sword is digging into my ass."

Soonyoung lets go of the counter to tug his sword belt around and lays the toy on the outside of his left thigh leaving him pressed directly against you. You genuinely can't tell if he's even noticed that as he seems to be focused on the conversation judging by the concentrated furrow of his eyebrows. "That's not what I mean and you know it."

"If I know it, wouldn't I respond to what you mean?" You give him a look, puzzled by his own words and hoping he understands that you seem to very much not be having the same conversation here and you are completely unaware of the conversation he's having with you.

"Not when you're both pretending nothing's happening,"

"What?" You nudge him back enough so that you can turn and face him, which admittedly, is not your smartest move when he moves straight back in. He doesn't press against you again but his left foot is between yours as you lean your ass back against the counter. Any closer and his thigh will be very close to pressing to your crotch.

"Come on, I'm your best friend, I think you should at least be honest with me, even if you play ignorant with the others," he frowns and leans heavier onto his right hand on the counter beside your hip, bringing him in closer so that he doesn't have to talk so loudly to be heard over the music. "You two often leave together when we go out. And even though his place is closer than mine, you drop me off first so it's just you two left. I'm not stupid."

"Wait, you think that's so we can go fuck?" You realise with wide eyes.

"It's obvious, you always find each other when we're all together like this and spend the whole fucking night hiding off to the side whispering to each other,"

You can't help but laugh. "Do you all think we're fucking?" He nods. You laugh again. "Oh man, I gotta tell Cheolie this," you start to push off of the counter with every intention of going to find the man knowing he will find it as hilarious as you do, but Soonyoung puts his left hand on your lower stomach to push you back and then he pushes himself against you to pin you there. "Soonyoung,"

"No."

"What? No? No what?"

"I'm not letting you go back to him. You came with me, you're staying with me and leaving with me, no one else." He declares firmly.

You stare up at him trying to decipher what the fuck is actually going on right now, what prompted this sudden conversation and behaviour. Not that Soonyoung has never pinned you before but it's usually playfully as he whines and pouts cutely to get his way, or to just joke around. But he's entirely serious now and looking at you with something kind of dark in his eyes. Admittedly, it's pretty fucking hot. "Are you drunk?" You ask, even if you know he's not; you can't smell any alcohol on him and drunk Soonyoung gets cuddly and clingy, not whatever this is.

"You know I'm not," he places his left hand on the counter on your other side, well and truly caging you in and causing him to lean down a little closer to reach comfortably.

"Then why are you suddenly acting like this?"

"It's not sudden." You give him a look. "Okay, fine, acting on it is but wanting to, that's not sudden. I've wanted to do this for a long time,"

"Then why haven't you?"

"Because I care about you too much," he frowns a little as he takes in your features from up close, gaze catching on your lips for a few seconds before lifting back up to meet your eyes. "There's a bet you know, about us fucking?"

"I just found out." You pull a displeased expression. "Cheol's in on that, you know? He wouldn't bet on us fucking before the end of summer if he's fucking me."

"He is?" He raises his eyebrows in surprise. "They made it sound like he's against the bet, said he's been trying to stop them from always talking me into it,"

"Yeah, no, he just told me to fuck you. He's always telling me to fuck you."

"Oh," He licks his lips as his eyes divert thoughtfully. "Guess I should stop being a dick to him then,"

"You've been a dick to him?" You ask, genuinely surprised. You really haven't noticed Soonyoung acting badly towards Seungcheol at all.

"Mm, I always take his favourite snacks at movie night." You can't help but burst into giggling laughter at his confession.

Of course, the man doesn't have a single genuinely mean bone in his body and would think purposely taking someone's favourite snacks would be a big dick move. You bet he's been feeling kind of guilty about it while no doubt Seungcheol hasn't even noticed.

"What? Why're you laughing?" He pouts at you.

"Oh, Soonie, you're so fucking cute," you coo and cup his cheeks fondly. He smiles a little dopily at the compliment, the same smile he reserves for you and your doting attention on him even if neither of you has noticed that. The rest of your friends have though.

"Nice ass," You hear before Soonyoung's hips jerk into you when he yelps and tries to escape the slap that landed on his ass.

"Hyung!" He complains, looking over his shoulder to pout at Jeonghan as the man appears from behind your best friend.

You really can't tell exactly what Jeonghan is supposed to be, you think it's some kind of anime character, or something kinky. Maybe both. Either way, his costume is a strange mix of faux black leather and shimmery red lacey wings. And he pulls it off unfairly well considering that you know he hadn't been prepared for the party that morning at all.

"What? Don't look at me like I'm disturbing something," Jeonghan scoffs, reaching around you to grab the same big plastic bottle you had been filling your cup from. Though he stops and looks at the way Soonyoung is very much pressed against you. Jeonghan grins after noticing that Soonyoung's crotch is definitely smushed against your upper thigh; something you have been doing your best to ignore yourself because yes you can feel everything through the thin material covering you both. "Or maybe I am." He smirks at you both.

"What are you supposed to be exactly?" You ask in an attempt to change the topic to one that won't kill your last remaining dregs of sanity. Then again, with the things that come out of Yoon Jeonghan's mouth, you could still be rendered insane but for a reason other than feeling your best friend's dick pressed against you.

"No idea just grabbed some shit from Hao's costume closet." Jeonghan shrugs as he looks down at himself. "Kind of think this might be less about his costume designing and more about sex though."

"He's definitely worn that harness while fucking someone." You agree and reach out to hook your finger over the thick horizontal strap over Jeonghan's chest. You're pretty sure it's directly over his nipples, but the slightly sheer tank top he's wearing underneath the harness kind of obscures your view enough that you don't have confirmation.

"Mm, definitely." Jeonghan agrees and smirks at you. "Want to take it home yourself?"

"And take it from you? I wouldn't dare, you look so handsome, Hannie," You coo, playing along with the flirty banter you two have always partaken in. Not because anything has ever happened between you nor will it, you've discussed it plenty of times to make sure you're both on the same page still. But it's just fun to harmlessly flirt.

"Never said I won't be wearing it," he licks his lips and gives you a suggestive look.

"You're not going home with her," Soonyoung argues firmly, crowding up against you further though his gaze is on Jeonghan in warning, so he misses the way your eyes widen and dart down to where Soonyoung is now pressing his crotch against your hip, his own thigh pressing up between your thighs. Jeonghan doesn't miss it though and cackles, taking the bottle and his cup away entirely without another word.

"S-soonyoung," You stammer, hands fluttering at his sides, wanting to push him back for your sanity but you think putting your hands on his exposed skin will just make you pull him closer.

"Do you have to flirt with him all the time?" He frowns at you, entirely unaware of the screaming in your mind, mostly just sounds with the odd yell of the word penis. He'd probably laugh if he heard it, to be honest, just because of the word penis. He wouldn't even realise it's his penis you're mentally screaming about. "And when I'm right here too. Did you forget I'm here or something?"

"No," You choke out.

"Then why- are you okay?" He suddenly realises how wide your eyes are.

"I can feel your dick," You blurt, unable to think of anything else.

He blinks at you for a moment then looks down at where he's pressed against you as if he hasn't even noticed until now. "Oh," he pulls his hips back and his thigh from between yours making you let out a heavy shaky exhale as your body relaxes a little. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

"Ha, not the word I'd use."

"What word would you use?" If he was any other man, you'd say the little quirk of his head and innocent eyes locked onto you is fake, just some kind of game, a way to flirt. But it's Soonyoung and you've seen this man miss the most obvious of flirtations since you've known him; the amount of times you or the guys have had to bluntly tell him that someone had been trying to take him home to fuck is frankly absurd. "Stop touching my ass!" His sudden exclamation makes you jump a little while he looks over his shoulder in annoyance, glaring at Seungkwan who's giving him an innocent look.

"I'm very happy that you two are finally doing something about your consistent sexual tension and mutual pining but take it out of my kitchen, please. I don't want to have to burn my home down if you defile my counters." The younger man speaks bluntly with a slightly sweet edge to his words. You can't even see him but you just know that he's got that too sweet smile on his face that always feels more threatening than anything.

"What?" Soonyoung blinks at him, the annoyance of his ass being grabbed melting away. "We're not doing anything."

"Hannie told me you're being possessive and we all know that she likes that so-"

"Hey!" You exclaim offendedly, not because you can argue it, but just more that you're being talked about like you're not there. "She has a name!"

"Well take hyung home and he can moan it for the neighbours to hear." Seungkwan gives you that sweet-threatening smile as he leans around Soonyoung to meet your gaze. "My neighbours don't want to hear it."

"My neighbours won't hear that," you scoff. Soonyoung can't help but frown, he feels like he's just been rejected even though he hadn't even gotten to the point of actually asking to take you home and fuck you like he wants to, like your mutual friends had convinced him you want him to. But your firm dismissal of Seungkwan's words sounds like you putting that boundary securely in place before he can even ask to tumble over it into your arms.

"He's loud-" Seungkwan starts to point out but you're not done talking even if you had taken a quick scoff break.

"I don't live in a cheap-ass building with paper for walls like you do, Kwannie." You finish.

Both men stare at you for a second, Seungkwan at first just blinks in surprise at the fact you're not even disputing the Soonyoung moaning your name part, just whether or not your neighbours will hear. And Soonyoung is full-on gawping at you, mouth open and eyes wide, wondering if this means that boundary even exists between you.

"Does that mean you won't get a noise complaint? Hyung is pretty loud, you know? There's a reason we don't live together anymore."

"I don't know." You reply with a shrug.

"Then go fucking home already and stop humping against my kitchen counter!" Seungkwan grabs Soonyoung by his hips to yank him backwards away from you while the scantily dressed pirate yelps and flails a little at the unexpected action. Then he's shoved towards the kitchen exit while Seungkwan grabs your wrist to tug you along.

You're both too genuinely dumbstruck by Seungkwan's sudden forceful actions to do anything but stumble along until you're both outside of the apartment, shoes in hands and staring in shock at the door that's just been shut in your faces.

"Did we just get kicked out?" You mutter.

Soonyoung nods slowly and then looks at you. "I think we got kicked out for sex."

"Is it still sexile if you're the ones getting kicked out and told to go elsewhere to fuck?" You muse, attention down as you focus on shoving your feet into your shoes, one hand on the wall behind you and the other out in the air pointlessly.

"Uh, reverse sexile?" He offers, dropping his shoes to shove his feet into.

"Sounds like a sex position."

He laughs. "What would that even look like?"

"No idea." You grin at him then figure that well, it seems like you've both been outed enough already seeing as all of your friends have stopped hiding the fact that they expect you to finally have sex, which really implies a mutual attraction. So you suck your bottom lip into your mouth for a second as he frowns down at his shoe that just will not accept his right foot for some reason. "Shall we go find out?"

Immediately, Soonyoung looks up at you with wide eyes. "What?"

"Shall we go find out what reverse sexile looks like?"

"Like…us?"

"Yeah, Soonyoung, us," You confirm with an amused twitch of your lips. "You said you're the only one to go home with me, right?" He nods. "Then let's go home and find out, Young-ah."

"Ye-no, wait." He steps closer and takes your hand gently before you can start walking down the hall to the staircase. His fingers are barely holding onto your own. It's perhaps the most cautious he's ever taken your hand into his. Even the very first time he had boldly laced your fingers together and you had only met ten minutes previously.

"No?" You ask, feeling really kind of stupid all of a sudden. You had been so unusually confident in asking him to go home and fuck you.

"Not because I don't want to because I do seriously, I really want to fuck you." He breathes out, sounding rather affected by the thought alone as he stares at you longingly and holds your hand a little more securely. "I just…I don't want it to wind up like Seungcheol."

"Uh, what about Seungcheol?" You shuffle a little closer while giving him a questioning look.

"Regularly fucking his best friend who has a crush on someone else, while he…while he wants her as more than just company in his bed." The way his expression turns serious and yearning makes your heart start to race a little with hope.

"While he…Are you saying you want more?" You ask quietly.

"Earlier when I said I care about you too much, I meant I care too much to be able to have sex with you if it means nothing. I really fucking like you and I don't want to go home with you like this if you don't feel the same. I can't do that." He shakes his head a little. "As much as I've thought about this, about you and me doing all kinds of kinky shit all over your apartment, and mine when Jihoon isn't there. Or when he is if you're into exhibitionism, I don't know your kinks and I'm pretty sure he wouldn't even notice anyway because he never leaves his fucking room an-" He's rambling at this point, frowning down at your connected hands as he talks.

"Soonyoung." He makes a soft hum of a noise as he looks back up at you with rounded eyes. "We can talk kinks later, I'd really like to get back to the matter of it sounds like you're confessing to me?"

"Oh, right yeah, I guess I am." He chuckles a little and scratches the back of his neck with his free hand. "So uh, yeah, I really like you and uhm, I guess now comes the part where hopefully, you say you like me back but I really don't know if you do because the guys just really said you want to fuck me and-" You cover his mouth with your hand that time to shut up his second bout of nervous rambling.

"I really like you too, Soonie," You confirm softly and giggle at the way his features light up adorably behind your palm. "Can we skip the trial dating bullshit and go straight to being together? I'd like to show you off as my boyfriend," His eyes widen dramatically and then he's nodding rapidly in agreement without dislodging your hand. "You're so cute." You coo and lean in just to press a kiss to the back of your hand over his mouth. He looks utterly betrayed and heartbroken when you lean back. "What?" You play innocent and lower your hand while backing up, lacing your fingers behind your back.

"You can't tease me like that, baby!" He whines, toddling after you and dragging his feet in a sulk as he moves along the carpeted flooring of the hall.

"Tease? Me? Never," You grin at him then stop as your back hits the door to the staircase.

"You are, teased me for the past year. Teasing me now." He continues to mumble away as he nears, though cuts off when you reach out to grab the sword and yank on the plastic to pull him in right up against you. His hands automatically fly up to catch himself on the door above your head while his breath catches in his throat.

"If you're so worried I'm going to keep teasing you, Soonie, you better hurry up and take what you want." You warn in a low voice, chin tilted up so your faces are only inches apart.

Soonyoung groans in the back of his throat before he leans down and seals his lips against yours in a hungry, desperate kiss. He presses his left forearm flat against the door beside your head so that he can firmly hold your jaw with his right hand and tilt you further into him with his thumb pushing on your chin to urge your mouth open wider and deepen the kiss in a manner much too filthy for a public hallway of your friend's apartment building.

"Oh for fucks sake!" The loud voice of the friend in question forces you both apart to peer over Soonyoung's shoulder to where Seungkwan is in the hallway with the cute neighbour he's recently started to date, their hands together and clearly with one intention in mind while sneaking away from his own party. They're standing outside of the neighbour's slightly open door but Seungkwan is staring at you and Soonyoung in disbelief. "I told you to go home! Not get your booty here!"

"Ha, booty, pirate joke." You snigger and Soonyoung giggles, both at your amusement and the pun he honestly hadn't even noticed.

"You two are fucking useless." Seungkwan decides and lets his neighbour tug him into the apartment. "You better be gone before I'm back!"

"90 seconds, right?!" Soonyoung calls as Seungkwan disappears. The younger's head pops back out to glare at the other and flip him a very heartfelt middle finger before the door actually shuts behind him that time. Soonyoung turns to look at you with a mischievous smirk. "Should we go fuck on his bed just to piss him off?"

"As tempting as that sounds, I'd rather only I hear you like that, Soonie," You pout at him cutely. "I'm not very good at sharing my toys, you know."

"Oh, I'm your toy now?" He muses, reaching down to open the door carefully to back you through it with his other arm wrapping around your waist.

"Mm, mine and only mine to play with when I want, right?"

"Yeah, yeah, yours and yours only, baby." He agrees lowly. "And you're mine."

"I am." You confirm and tilt up to kiss him teasingly. "Let's hurry and get home so I can show you everything that now belongs to you."

A/N; There is more to this but I had to cut it all because it really was me mostly rambling with a sort of hand job thrown in there. The title comes from a conversation in the part I haven't included, by the way. Working title was "Yo ho hoe". But if I continue that part I removed from this, I guess there will be a part 2 as a direct continuation from this and it'll include smut.

#wkcnet #svthub #seventeen x reader #seventeen reader insert #seventeen fic #seventeen friends to lovers au #seventeen f2l au #seventeen hoshi x reader #seventeen soonyoung x reader #seventeen hoshi friends to lovers au #seventeen bestfriend au #seventeen hoshi bestfriend au #seventeen soonyoung friends to lovers au #seventeen soonyoung bestfriend au #seventeen hoshi f2l au #seventeen soonyoung f2l au #seventeen fanfiction #svt x reader

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docwritesshit · 8 months

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Can you do head canons for Ao lie, swk, mac and Redson for when they have their kid with Y/N?

Of course! I myself haven't thought about that all that much so this is intriguing

Anyways!

Ao Lie!

That little kid is the joy of his life

He brings them everywhere he can and pouted when he cant

He is the one to do the diapers and stuff like that cause he doesn't kind a little bit of filth

Brings home trinkets for the little thing all the time

Almost gave the toddler a glass statue before you took it away and taught Ao Lie that toddlers can't really know stuff can break or how that cane break

Like when the kid plays with his hair and tries more hairstyles

You have photo albums dedicated to all the hairstyles your toddler gave your husband

Wukong!

Very very very anxious about the kid

He knows how mortals can break and baby proofs everything

Even the ceiling

But he spoils the little thing

He's got enough fuck you money to last generations, why not spend a bit?

You have had to talk him out of getting the kid an expensive car when the kid showed an interest in Transformers

But he always comes back with gifts after his travels, you guys have a whole ass room dedicated to it

(spoiler it's the trophy room)

But is a very attentive parent when he is around, always spending as much time with his child as he can

Macaque!

Like Wukong, he is a very anxious

But he's not gonna put up walls around his kid

As soon as the kid could walk, he slowly started to introduce some self defense skills to him

To jab for the belt region and to fight as dirty as you can to get away

But other times, he taught the kid to read people and slip into the shadows

They would spend hours shadow portaling to places so see the sights

The kid is very spoiled in that regard

He would cook delicious food for them, making their favorites as often as he could do the kid wouldn't get sick of them

And would watch ever single episode of his kids show with them

Every one

Really is the quality time parent

Redson!

The kid is treated like royalty cause duh

Spoiled soooooo much

But Reds does teach her child good attributes as well as some humility in situations that call for it and deal with intruders (as ofc the kid getting kidnapped for ransom is gonna be a problem)

Reds doesn't let their kid get away with being a little shit tho, and does correct their behavior

And absolutely loovvvesss teaching the kid how to build stuff

Let's the kid help with bringing tools like wrenches and screws

And shows them how things work alot

And, in secret, sneaks into the kids room at night to just watch them sleep

He just likes to see the kid safe and sound

And when the kid is tossing and turning because of nightmares, she softly tells the kid stories of her father and mother, of their own exploits to calm them down

#lego monkie kid #lmk #lmk x reader #lmk sun wukong #lmk sun wukong x reader #lmk macaque #lmk macaque x reader #lmk red son x reader #lmk redson #lmk ao lie x reader #lmk ao lie

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bunnakit · 4 months

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last twilight e8 thoughts, feelings, and tears

ok i cried for like 10 minutes after the episode ended so forgive me if this isn't up to par of what i usually do. apparently i'm fragile today.

there was a lot i liked and didn't like about this scene. in the past we've seen Day cling to the idea that someday he'll see again, that this is all temporary. instead of reiterating that, instead of talking about the cornea transplant, he instead asks "what can i do?" it's such an insanely massive sign of his growth. i'm so fucking proud of him. it made me so fucking emotional because while he's still upset, he's still hurt, he's still angry, he realizes his reality and he's making steps to move forward with that.

what i didn't like about this scene was once again Day's mother acts like Day's life is ending. she's been the number one person to coddle Day and to reassure him of this surgery that may never happen. i know she means well but fuck. this has to stop.

i also fucking hated the doctor for this. Day isn't fucking dying, there's still so much he can do even once his sight is completely gone. sure, he'll have some limitations, i get that. i can't swim in the ocean or rivers anymore. that fucking sucked to learn right before going on my honeymoon to the beach. but you know what i could still do? walk across the beach to the little hidden tide pools, sit on the jagged rocks, and watch the crabs and fish and anemones and everything thrive in this tiny little ecosystem. it was still amazing and something i may not have done if not for my disease keeping me from going in the water.

we're limited by our disabilities but we aren't fucking dead - life goes on around us and we can either participate in it or wallow in our fate. i'll talk about this more later.

you can skip this next paragraph if you don't want to see me babble on another personal anecdote.

i will say i saw a lot of myself in this moment. something similar happened to me a few weeks ago. i learned my disability is no longer responding to the treatments and i'll have to have multiple surgeries next year to close some year old wounds and will probably need some skin grafts. my disease is no longer managed but once again getting worse. when the doctor told me i just nodded and discussed the game plan. meanwhile, my mom was heartbroken and kept asking if there was anything that could be done. (nothing that i'm not already doing.)

sometimes we just have to nod along and accept what's happening. we can cry about it and get pissed later if we have to.

ohhh there's so much i want to talk about here. Day's mom infuriates me, probably because she's the opposite of everything my mother ever was when faced with my disabilities. her constant refusal to address Day's blindness is so painful, as if it's somehow a reflection of him as a person or a stain. it's just a fact of life and her denial is doing so much more to hurt Day than to help him. as much as i hate it, though, it is realistic. it can be so hard for those close to us to acknowledge what's going on, especially when they can't experience it for themselves or they aren't around day to day.

which brings me to the part that frustrates me the most. i'm going to get REALLY personal here.

TW FOR SUICIDE AND MENTAL HEALTH ->

i'll put another message when this little anecdote is over so ya'll can skip to that.

i've been diagnosed with major depressive disorder since i was 15. when i was 16 i tried to kill myself. my mom didn't know until last year, but at the time she knew my depression was getting to a concerning level of bad. you know what she did? she quit her job. she made any sacrifice she could to stay home with me and make sure i was safe and felt heard and taken care of. granted, she wasn't a single mother at the time but we also weren't rolling in the money. my dad was a construction worker in the early 2000s when construction work was struggling HARD.

but that's what you do for your kids, that's what you do to take care of them and make them feel heard and loved and cared for unconditionally. my depression and desire to die wasn't a stain on who i was, it was my mind holding me hostage with no way out because they couldn't give me medication until i turned 18.

OKAY IT'S SAFE NOW ->

anyway, where i was going with that is that Day's mom, as a famous chef, clearly makes enough money to take time off work, to be there for her son, to stay home and make him feel loved and cared for. there's likely a lot going on on her end of being a single mother, of feeling like she needs to prove herself and show the world she can do this alone - but her son doesn't have to do it alone just because she wants to. he needs a support system and right now all he has is Mhok.

Day's anger is so real and so justified. he must feel abandoned by his mother, by the one person that should be there to comfort him and keep him safe. her love has become conditional on the state of his eyesight.

and then she tells him he can't go? he's not a fucking child. he's a full grown man and he was just told to do things while he still can see at least a little. i told my mom the exact part of the plot and her response was "well fuck her, he's gotta go." you're god damn right he does, mom.

everything Night does feels like repentance. i need know what the story is, i need to know what caused this massive fissure between them. i don't want to comment or speculate too much but at this point i can no longer condemn Night. he's trying, he's clearly trying so fucking hard, and he clearly has so much love for his brother.

and him giving Mhok money and letting him and Day escape because he knows Day will be happier? i really hope that is a step in the right direction of mending whatever was broken between them. there are only four episodes left and i hope bare minimum half of them deal with what is going on here.

The sea remains the sea. The sand remains the sand. The sky remains the sky. Though I can't see, everything remains the way it is.

and here we are. being diagnosed with a disability is a massive change in our lives, a huge hurdle we have to climb, but at the end of the day the world still turns, life still goes on, and we can either go with it or remain stagnant. this is the culmination of everything Mhok has shown Day. Mhok has constantly brought Day out to participate in life, to learn how to navigate the world that remains unchanged. while Day's world has changed it remains the same in so many ways. this is such a beautiful moment of acceptance and peace, of healing and moving past the hurt. once again, i am so proud of Day.

he's going to be okay.

i've seen others mention it but fuck this once again drove home how soft and caring Mhok is, something that's been so constant in this episode from his willingness to help Day, to the keychains, to the escape, and now this. this little act of asking for permission, of giving Day permission, of almost asking Day 'will you kiss me?' and then Day does. Day gives Mhok the first kiss initiated by him. until now it's always been Mhok but this time Day reaches out to Mhok in this gritty, sand filled kiss. (disgusting but still lovely)

and this really drove home how safe Day feels with Mhok. they're somewhere completely new and unpredictable but he suggests they drink and participate in the party - and i love that he doesn't ask for permission but rather says 'why not?' because Mhok has never made him feel like he needs to ask for things, not things he's fully capable of deciding for himself.

and they do! they act like the young adults they are and have an amazing night of just fun and laughter and love and i fucking love that for them. how many times have we seen Day get to act his age and be carefree? it's remarkably telling how free Day feels the further he gets from home, how free his love is when he isn't worried about his family. when he's away from home Day really becomes the sun.

(also i think i might make shirts like this with my husband as a fun activity because that's really cute.)

i'm fine, i'm fine, i'm fine. (i'm lying.) the amount of love they have from here on is almost palpable. the fact that Mhok takes the time to tell Day he looks good, that he's admiring him. fuck. it makes me think of just a bit before, where we see Day linger with his fingers against the mirror. Day hasn't seen his own reflection in over a year, he has no idea what he looks like anymore. he won't get to see the way age changes him, won't get to see the wrinkles and laugh lines form on his face.

but Mhok will be there to tell him, to say how handsome he is, and without fully seeing Mhok Day will know he is equally as handsome because he knows Mhok's voice, his character, and sure he knows what everyone has said about Mhok's appearance but who he is has always been more important.

and then for them to essentially say their own vows in the light of the setting sun? oh, my loves.

Day is starting a new chapter in the book of his life, a new chapter with Mhok and hope and confidence. he's taking back control and paving his own way and no matter what comes he'll face it head on.

i started crying here and didn't stop, P'Aof please i'm sending you bills not for my therapy but for all the water i have to buy to rehydrate myself from all my tears. once again, fucking hell i'm so proud of Day.

and he tells them to have a kid soon! so he can help raise it!! just like he'll probably help raise Porjai's kid. because he no longer sees himself as incapable, as someone unable to help. Mhok has shown him how capable he is, how much he can still do.

please allow me a moment to - AAAAAAAAA.

personally i cannot wait for all the gifsets we're going to see of this moment. they danced so perfectly together because they know each other. Mhok knows Day better than anyone else, they've gone through so much, and they move so intrinsically together. i'd say they know each other better than anyone else but there's still so much of Mhok left unexplored. there's so much Day still doesn't know, so much pain Mhok is still hiding.

i can't wait for them to truly know each other inside and out (not like that, but hey it looks like we're getting that next ep eeeyy)

i'm not really going to comment on the dad showing up at the end. i feel almost nothing about that, i'm just waiting to see how that turns out and reserving my opinions for now. (i had a shit dad, i'm a little bais.)

man, i'd hoped this would be brief with how raw i was feeling and how busy i am with work but GUESS NOT. thanks for reading as always tag loves: @nutcasewithaknife @benkaaoi @callipigio @infinitelyprecious

#bunn meta #last twilight #last twilight the series #mhokday #morkday #userjamiec

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trekkiedean · 3 months

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while I'm being earnest: the thing is, this show is not consistent about most things. I've talked in the past about how, for instance, there are arcs that just don't make sense when viewed through a purely watsonian lens, or episodes that are a lot more effective out of context. the writers' room was not particularly cohesive. continuity is a joke. characterization changes from one episode to the next. (I've heard that they didn't have a writers' bible, and I have no idea whether that's true, but frankly I think I'd be more surprised if it wasn't true.) and that's before we get into how actors' and directors' choices can bring new layers to the episodes as written, or even seem to say something completely different from the episodes as written!

I think that's a big reason why this fandom is so huge and rich and has lasted so long: there's room for so many interpretations. not only is it possible to pick and choose which parts of canon to keep, I'd argue that to some extent it's actually necessary to do so; there are so many inconsistencies and continuity errors and internal contradictions that you'll just never be able to come up with a grand unified theory of supernatural. fandom lives in the inconsistencies and the continuity errors and the internal contradictions! and with spn, there are so many of them, and so much of the show, that there are very few theories and headcanons and interpretations that can't be justified in some way. yes, there are some I like more than others, and yes, there are some I think are better justified than others! but in general, even if I completely disagree with someone's take, I can also see where they're getting it from. I may think, and point out, that there are things that contradict their take, but they'll have some examples of things that support it. which one of us is right? both of us! neither of us! two supernatural fans, three opinions, baby!

but the downside of the fact that there are very few interpretations that can't be justified is that…there are very few interpretations that can't be justified. like, I'm sorry to break this to everyone, but no voice is ever going to ring out from the heavens and declare conclusively that one of us is the winner of fandom. (and even if it did, my people don't generally put much stock in that kind of thing.) someone's interpretation being different from yours, even wildly different, even different in a way you don't like, is not necessarily a sign that they haven't watched the show, or that they don't enjoy it, or that they're stupid, or that you're coming from a place of cool logic and rationality and they're just making shit up and projecting, or that they want to spite you personally. I think all of us (and I totally include myself in this) could stand to get a little more comfortable with that. because at the end of the day what matters a lot more than whether you think someone is right or not is how the two of you treat each other. publicly mocking and belittling someone because you don't like their take on a fictional character is just not the way to keep a fandom going.

#WHEW that sure was earnest. don't worry I'm going back to the weird hornyposting about cas you all know and love #jules.txt

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respectthepetty · 6 months

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I started to watch Kiseki last week thanks to my dash. My original plan was to bingewatch it after it`s finished if it has a happy ending which might have been wiser. However I am obsessed with Ai Di and Chen Yi. I think it`s interesting that Chen Yi tells Ai Di that they have to be quiet during their first night because Ai Di would get angry if he heard. I am not sure how he wouldn`t recognise Ai Di even if he is drunk because they have always been together but that`s not the point. He clearly cares about Ai Di and doesn`t want to upset him. But how does he know that Ai Di would hear them? Has he heard Ai Di with another man and has he been mad? Even though he calls Ai Di brother at that point he seems awfully upset when Ai Di is with other men and drags him away from them.

Anon, you didn't know this when you sent it, but I am the wrong person to ask.

I'm stressed.

I'm spiraling.

I'm laying in a field of lavender trying to snort the stems in an attempt to chill the fuck out.

All because Kiseki: Dear to Me's finale is so close that I feel it, yet I'm terrified the scene we are all clinging to from the extended trailer is a fake-out, and we are about to be MODC-ed all over again.

If this doesn't make sense to you, GOOD! Stay innocent, anon. Three episodes ago, I was worried about the same thing as you, but here I am on the eve of the eve of the finale, and I can't bring myself to fathom the show will kill someone, even though IT ALREADY KILLED SOMEONE!

But if you do know what I'm writing about, Anon, HOW ARE YOU SO CALM RIGHT NOW?! At least calm enough to send me this ask on the eve of the eve of the finale?! How is Laws of Attraction the only show to know the value of a bulletproof vest unlike all these mafia BLs WHERE IT SHOULD BE A GIVEN?!

And you're just as cool as a caterpillar on a leaf. I'm the caterpillar in the cocoon dissolving into liquid mush freaking the fuck out about death and bulletproof vests, while you are munching on the good bits of this story. Teach. Me. Your. Ways. I'm over here praying to all the santos about a FICTIONAL CHARACTER! My ancestors are judging me right now. So is God.

So due to divine shade, I'll try to answer your question - Chen Yi admitted he was always jealous of Eddie being with other people which is why he was dragging Eddie's ass out of places, (so I can't imagine him being on your level of chill if he heard Eddie having sex with someone else), but Chen Yi didn't realize that it was jealously and possessiveness until Eddie was . . .

Until Eddie WASN'T THERE!

See, I'm already detouring again! Because what will Eddie do if Chen Yi ISN'T THERE?!

I don't care if this chick is Zhang Teng's sister avenging his death or just has a crush on Baker Boy. She is the sole female character, and as a feminist who supports female wrongs, if she is the shooter, Mortal Kombat "FINISH HER ASS"

I support the gays, the goths, and the girls, but in the words of a woman who got it, Jane Austen,

Had not my feelings decided against you, sus high school girlie— had they been indifferent, or had they even been favorable, do you think that any consideration would tempt me to accept the woman who has been the means of ruining, perhaps forever, the happiness of a most beloved menace?

She better have really gone to the dumpster to throw that glass she just conveniently broke and helps step in to save Chen Yi when she witnesses the shooting because if not . . .

"FUCK"

#kiseki: dear to me #I can't be rational about this show #I'm losing it #someone come pat my head and tell me I'm too pretty for this stress #I need them to be happy #I don't want an apology tour from Taiwan!#Chen Yi better believe in bulletproof vests #don't do this to me again Taiwan #don't you dare!#don't make me beg #because I will #knees to cruel gravel #forehead on your shoe #don't do this to me!

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laylawatermelon · 6 days

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70.6 - 7.07 Speculation/ Buddie Meta

I am a writer y'know hehe

So, Buddie is happening.

Now let me explain.

Bi buck always existed, but the problem is that most of his consistent emotional relationship one could argue realistically romantically has been with a man he's known for years.

But has always been bi yes, but he's also been in love with his best friend for a really long time.

Friends to lovers where Y'all at? I see y'all madney truthers

Anyways I understand but what has kind of been bothering me is the fact that Buddie the ship has been abandoned/negated as not an important past of the puzzle for bi buck realization despite the fact that Eddie is physically present throughout his entire relationship/storyline.

I could argue that because they're mirrors to each other (corny soulmate type shit is perfect for network tv) this is the best way to ease people into it.

Buck and Eddie are the two beloved firefighters (and respective sex symbols). They have an appeal for the straight audience for that reason.

Lou already spoiled it but he's only here for a while.

There's been almost blatant explanations and dialogue that leads to the fact that this relationship is going to directly lead into buddie one way or another.

Tommy has from the beginning suspected that Buck (I'm calling him Evan in my head in regards to him and it's so weird 😖) and Eddie have an unusual relationship or that Buck is in love with Eddie at least.

(MY attention? is the biggest example.)

My prediction is that their mirrors of each other, the parallels, and red flags pop up too often now.

I know they're still writing the show and are likely watching audience engagement and ao3 (I'm watching you Tim ik you're here I'm new but ik you got shooters out here) for where to go with the story.

In Eddie's (frankly oddly portrayed) plotline is related to his Catholic guilt and his nonexistent relationship with Marisol (no last name?). As the episode maybe suggests they don't know their partners well enough.

Shame to Eddie because it's been months in universe like come on man. In Buck's it's literally been a few weeks, and most of the time Tommy spent with Eddie and not with him.

I like them as a couple and find them affordable. I can't quite bring myself to ship them or be as enthusiastic as others and that's okay.

I still admire the relationship they have and won't bash others for enjoying it.

Hell they still have Taylor and Buck enjoyers and maybe even Abby (i assume I haven't met any honestly).

The reason why I'm a bit confused on why Buddie isn't being all that embraced as a vital part of the storyline is because in a way it is.

I think it spurred the writers on to lean into it heavily due to the actors chemistry and portrayal of the relationship.

Now I'm not saying he wouldn't be bi regardless, because he's always been written that way.

His interactions with worm guy, a gay married couple, Carlos (who I've been waiting to say this but I can't hold myself any longer is Latino, shorter than him, brown eyes, dark hair - Eddie lite/he had a bit of a type aka cute guys.)

I clocked him flirting with him with his cute fact spilling as a way of affection because I do it to to people I love. (🤗i love my ADHD rep!) When he saw him look at the girl he became more platonic in his interactions. Then there was Eddie.

And Eddie honestly is the biggest part of the puzzle.

Yes he likes Tommy, and I don't deny he likes strong confident (suspiciously Eddie shaped 😂) guys.

He has always been attracted to strong personalities regardless of gender.

I do think he did pursue him and I think because Tommy is gay he recognized the flirting Buck does with both men and women as that, flirting.

Eddie doesn't count cause he has a whole can of worms he gotta figure out himself.

If Buck had consistent scenes with an out queer man on the show he'd have been at least clocked. (Eddie was kind of in the way with Josh and the Dispatch crew/his gaydar pinged a lil around him)

I've been saying that now that he's canonically bisexual and it's a known fact, you can't deny he's quite literally been flirting with his best friend the entire show (as a coparent??? Idk man they both said they skip steps/impatient 🤷🏾‍♀️).

When new fans watch it it's obvious, when older fans recall it it's either enlightening or redefining that relationship regardless.

The red flags that are coming up is Eddie's statement of moving too fast and Buck literally moving to fast with his second date (i assume idk how in world time works it's a tv show 🤷🏾‍♀️) being his sister's wedding.

Realistically I know you only invite people to events like that if you're fully committed to each other for a long term thing.

I'm not saying that he's on his wheel but in a way I'm tilting my head at some similarities of Tommy and his past relationships and Buck's tendencies.

Buck will be Buck.

Tommy knows him as Evan, and calls him such.

Which didn't get me wrong cute or whatever but rubs me there wrong away, because we know he prefers Buck as it's his chosen name for a reason. It's defined him and been contextualized and even accepted by his parents.

I believe in calling people the name they choose to be called and I just don't like when that's ignored.

It also doesn't help that he continues to call him that in an episode called You don't know me (you can Even tie it in to Marisol No last name) that deals with identities and lack of knowledge.

Buck has spent most of his remaining twenties with that identity and has defended it so the casualness of him calling him that unnerves me.

It's meant to close the distance and be portrayed as romantic but it can also be interpreted as him seeing Evan, not Buck when with him.

But I did see a post that changed my perspective on calling a name with love instead can recontextualize the meaning of it and I found that sweet and fitting. In that case I can swing either way about it.

If it does make him more accepting of that side of his identity that's great that he's beginning to heal from a path when his name/personhood was used as a weapon or item.

But, I also still feel a bit iffy that it's not interchangeably used with Buck because his family and everyone he knows calls him that. Even his previous romantic partners did and I didn't mind him being called it but I would like it if both names would be used as that is the new part of him where Evan exists as well.

Also narratively they spent too much time on defining his name and what it means to him and everyone around him to not show the importance of his identity being acknowledged in a new unfamiliar relationship.

(whew i think I'm just mad at the writers or this may just be on purpose who knows 🤷🏾‍♀️)

I'm getting to the meta I promise I'm just finally processing what's been plaguing me about this relationship and i gotta let the monster out

That would also explain why he doesn't know the ADHD rants that Buck blabs on about.

But then again the episode is called you don't know me and they weren't even friends he just jumped into a relationship.

(ps you can just start dating someone and learn as you go I'm just saying 🤷🏾‍♀️)

The biggest problem with their relationship is that he's in love with his best friend.

He literally only began to open up and flirt when he realized that he wasn't a romantic threat to his family.

(Which trifling Buck! Your man can't get wined and dined?? He deserves love too!/j)

He literally relaxed/his shoulders open up when Tommy assures him that his son still loves and idolizes him and that Eddie still likes him and he's irreplaceable in his life.

After that's secured he begins to make his move and become more flirtatious (cough sexually open cough) to this confident man in his kitchen in the dim lights and glowy atmosphere.

Damn I'd kiss him too 🤷🏾‍♀️ (if I was a guy ofc)

I also didn't like the parallels of Buck being left (which has happened with his female love interests) and then Buck still having to reach out.

I don't think Tommy is bad for Buck, but I'm still not convinced that he's 100% good. But then again he's been here literally a two episodes and barely any screentime.

And the one he does makes it seem like he's interested but not too invested.

(which makes sense and I will elaborate a bit later in the meta speculation)

The Tommy that everyone is talking about exists solely in fan spaces and head canon and that's why I think I can't get into it. The facts of him are plain in the show but in the fan spaces he has a different image.

Which valid, once again he's almost a blank sheet of what we wish a Buck gets and deserves in a love interest but that's what he is as of now. A blank-ish sheet. Kind of like a projection sheet for movies.

Tommy seems like a caring partner and sure of himself. He's shown himself to be funny, considerate, and as unhinged as the rest of the 118 (ah the fruity fire badasses).

Also i wanna point your Buck likes em a lil older sometimes haha

But back on topic, I can see Tommy being like Natalia (which makes sense as that storyline could've been used) In the fact that he sees that the space in his life is occupied and respectfully backs out.

My meta for 7.06 is this.

Tommy helps out somehow. Buck is ecstatic rightfully so.

They kiss dance and are cute.

The family is very welcoming, the 118 is still loving, but then he sees something that affirms his suspicions.

It's a normal scene for us.

Either Buck is taking care of Chris and then talks to Eddie.

He sees the look in Buck's eyes and the fondness there. He looks at Eddie and sees the same on his face.

He notices how they work together and laugh, them at the family and life he's built all around him, and decides he can't be apart of this. There's no space for him.

It feels too real too fast and he'll only end to heartbroken because he's just interested, not invested yet.

So he gracefully bows out and let's him know that he has enough love in his life if he'd just look for it.

(i also found out he used the word interested in the cafe scene where i recognized it as the ana date. Also Buck was wearing a white patterned shirt and i had a heart attack because it wasn't great the last time he wore it 😬)

Then it leads into ghost of a second chance.

(now imma say this i will be posting more specs about the these episodes I'm just on my buddie storyline juice rn)

This is now Buck trying to salvage/figure out what went wrong and maybe try to contact him again.

In the case of Marisol it's safe to assume they break up, the reason why isn't clear.

It could be related to his sisters disapproval of their relationship (as they're supposed to be coming out did the show forget??) or apprehension towards her as they've been raised/watched him grow up.

They know what makes him happy.

For ghost a second chance I didn't have much buddie assumptions but I'm pretty sure that one is more in relation to other members of the cast most likely and maybe Buck trying to salvage his relationship.

7.08-10 isn't complete so who knows🤷🏾‍♀️ how they must switch it up for more drama?

But I will say, we gotta dive into the Eddie of it all.

Y'all thought I forgot about him?

The bi Buck storyline isn't complete without Eddie either romantically or platonically.

In real life their queer storylines were always interchangeable and they're both feeling out the GA and fans reaction.

Buddie not going canon doesn't make sense because realistically it's one of the biggest ships and the most talked about things for the online fans.

It's a good reason many fans started (me included🙋🏾‍♀️) and stay (if the beautiful found family didn't hit it for them).

The way that they were both discussed and Ryan is fine with Buddie still kind of matches his character honestly. Demi Eddie is a head canon and honestly Eddie would only be comfortable with dating a man at this stage of his life if it's someone he loves already aka Buck.

There could be other reasons but as a Buddie warrior truther (as they named it which is still so insane) as his old interviews alluded to the fact that he loves Buck so much he can't really see himself with another guy he just met like that.

He also maybe wanted a easier storyline as he had always been a bit of a heavy character.

For women it's easier as he's raised to do it and it's "natural" or right for him to do so.

His parents said it, the church says it, God says it so it must be right.

He loves commitment, has said he's a nester and constantly yearns for a family unit.

The only family unit he knows of it feels is acceptable due to his upbringing is man, woman, child.

Not that he's homophobic cause duh, HenRen is literally there, but his standards and pressure doesn't even let him fathom it for himself.

It's also likely if the demi part is true, he's highly unlikely to be like Buck and view others sexually and even realize he's able to have a family/relationship with a man.

I suspect no Buddie this season. I actually hope and pray for it.

Because from both a business and story point it's best to keep the will-they won't-they into season 8 to keep viewers engaged/tuning in and not to rush the story and get some really good emotional moments.

I won't lie I miss the angst we got in the other seasons and as a result the show's identity with Eddie has faltered a bit.

I didn't love episode 5 but I didn't hate it. I still enjoy the show and if they feel a bit unusual it's okay.

There were still some great moments in it.

Eddie's character is now happy but as a result he's also somewhat unfamiliar (that speaks to the whump heavy storylines he has) as he seems less mature. You can argue now that he has a stable support system he's able to let loose because he knows his needs will be covered.

That's also a great point and easy way of showing his development.

His Catholic guilt now that it's been introduced will have to be deconstructed as he will have to redefine his life, what he's looking for/allow himself to be and dare to dream of a life not given to him by someone else or pressure.

This season he's only just started to accept things that make him feel good (which for now is Marisol) and be open and honest about it.

I can argue it is a great sign of improvement of his character.

A bit ooc portrayal yes, but the message of looking deeper still applies.

This can apply to Buddie probably leading through the next half of season 7 by being ramped up and then going full speed ahead season 8.

At the time though since they're still writing they may take a hard right turn and keep it platonic (😭).

But what would be inevitable is Eddie's coming out/self discovery arc that isn't tied to the church or sense of duty.

Which yay! More self discovery I love the message of finding yourself lasts throughout your life and due to life's unexpected events you can change to be a better version of yourself all the time.

We got bi buck (which evidently was influenced by Eddie in some way) now let's free Eddie to even if they didn't do it for Buddie (once again😭😭😭).

Now that I've got it mostly off my chest I'm definitely gonna do an analysis of the parallels and the way it's played pt.2 (and more as seasons passed cause Ryan and Oliver 😘 muah 10/10 no notes).

Okay bye.

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mrs-monaghan · 8 months

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So this is inspired by a reply to one of your asks but what do you think each pairs of BTS will be doing if you lock them up in a room for an hour and left unsupervised.

Hello anon. There is way too many pairs in BTS for me to cover them all. So allow me to only do Jikook duos.

I will start with the duos I as Shaz deem to be the weakest, to strongest.

Okay JK's weakest duo which is also his weakest ship; If you've been around for a while you already know who I'm about to say 😂😂😂

Yoonkook.

(The tiktok on the post Here is how I feel about JK's ships. But I swap tkk for ynkk) So Yoonkook alone. Here i talk more about them after the Suchwita episode. But I will now also bring back the IG photos from the concert

Spot the difference? 🤭🤭🤭🤭 and i will be a nice blogger and not bring up the fact that on day 3 while we were busy watching Suga's concert JK was on tiktok liking videos.

Sorry anon..I crack myself up when I talk about Yoonkook but umm... yeah so. We already know what happens when u put them in a room together. They run out of things to talk about. We saw on Suchwita and we saw on Bon voyage by JK's own admission. When I see Yoonkook fanfic on twitter I get very confused 🤭🤭😂😂 because they don't click. Not really. If asked they will choose other members first. Definitely not eo. Yoonkook content with just them 2, I doubt they'd be very entertaining. Not without buffers may it be human or machine 😂

Finding Jimin's weakest duo is actually really hard because like RM said; Jimin is the king of chemistry and put him in a room with anyone and it will be funny and quality entertainment. But I will try.

Vmin.

I'm sorry but these 2 alone, together? Nah... Jimin may be the king of chemistry but even he can't fix the Vmin chemistry anymore. There was a time everything used to flow great between them but in recent years Vmin just ain't it. If u think I'm making this up go back to this live before JK comes in

They kept running out of things to talk about too. Jimin even pretended to leave at one point. They were super awkward to say the least and I feel like they were both grateful for JK's presence. @magicshop-pjm1 likes to go "Vmin is dead" every 2 to 4 business days which is absolutely hilarious 😂😂😂 but I think anyone not in denial can admit while yeah, I'm sure they still care about eo, something somewhere went wonky and they're not the same anymore.

This tweet is a joke and its hilarious 🤣😂😂 but unfortunately i find it accurate. Them 2 alone aint it

Taekook.

This was kinda obvious. Some people would rate this duo lower than Yoonkook but I think that's not fair. If you compare them with an unbiased eye Tkk are stronger than ynkk. First they are closer in age which helps. Meaning they're gonna be closer, too. But put them in a room together and it's not even awkward its nothingness. I'm talking silence. By JK's own admission here it just wasn't working. And we all remember the joint IG live where they ran out of things to talk about and JK would play with Bam instead. Another duo where JK needs a buffer for sure. I mean, sure tkk have been out and about but notice how its always with the Wooga squad? Never just them two?

On the plus side, they look really good. So, I'll give them that. 💚

Minimoni

Again this is so hard because Jimin has very strong duos. But yeah, I will put RM second last because RM as a person (bless him and his dimples) he's not the most entertaining and has to bounce off of someone. Them together, alone won't be boring but I'm not sure it would be that memorable or mind blowing. These are just my personal opinions guys so feel free to disagree or chime in. But yeah. I feel Minimoni is 2nd last for me.

I do find it interesting how comfortable RM is with skinship when it comes to Jimin considering he's not big on that in general (unless its Jin) He's even the one who initiates so he is quite comfortable around Jimin.

Anyway, they're a nice duo with a dynamic that gives you UWUs but they're not the most interesting in my eyes. Sorry Minimonis 🤷🏽‍♀️

Namkook

What's the most recent thing that we know about them? We know they hanged out after JK left Jennie's CK event. And we know before that JK said him and RM hadn't drunk together in years. Years. Not months. Now this dont mean they don't see eo. It just means they don't drink together often. I do find this to be significant however because both men love their liquor. But, they drink with other members just not eo so.... 😬😬 again, not making this up, its as per their own admissions

So Namkook in a room together 🤔 what do we got here guys? Have we ever had this? We had a Namkook live but the only memorable thing for me was them outing the fact that Jikook live together. I am blanking on Namkook which makes me feel confident about the position I've put RM.

Give it up for Jimin's type thou everybody 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

Jinmin

I would actually have Jinmin and Jihope as a tie but since I'm choosing I will rate Jinmin lower. But man. These 2 together are the absolute best. They are such a comedic entertaining duo. Them together alone in a room is worth every penny if we were asked to pay for any such footage 😂😂 they are funny and they bounce off of eo so well. Never a dull or awkward moment between Jin and Jimin. Never.

These two are the ones you throw to a team that's drowning. They are the ones u assign to a team for better views. I love them together fr fr. Best duo. Such a good duo. Honestly. Throw JK in there and you are set for life with the best trio ever. Go search for any of their compilations and I dare you to be bored.

And we haven't even began to talk about their visuals

First photo of them that pops up on Google and... as it should. Most beautiful man alive Vs world wide handsome =perfection 💯💯💯

(Off topic BTS main visual was always Jin and then V was added to the visual line then eventually JK. Now dont get me wrong all of them are drop dead gorgeous but is there a reason Jimin isn't part of the visual line?? Anyway...)

Hopekook

Hopekook in a room together alone, I'd say that's solid entertainment right there. They're good together, they're funny. It's Jhope we're talking about. He rivals Jimin on having chemistry with the members so him and JK alone i think that's a solid video right there. No awkwardness or nothing and Bonus skinship for the Hopekookers. Good times, really.

JK is extremely comfortable with Jhope so yeah... they're a good duo. No one is getting bored.

Yoonmin

Okay y'all. We know most Yoonmin supporters are rubbish vermin but don't let that make you forget that Yoonmin are extremely entertaining together. Put these 2 in a room alone together and come on... GOLD!! The Yoonmin Suchwita episode is hands down the funniest for me. I laughed from beginning to the end. Swear to God ✋🏽 that episode and the one with the drunk TXT members are great rewatches for me ngl. Also Jimin is Suga's favourite member so Suga is super comfortable with Jimin in everything. But my favorite part of them is the bickering of course.

They can't ever seem to stop fighting which is just so freaking entertaining. Remember ITS 1 when Jhope told Jimin he was being cocky so Jimin said he was going to look for Suga so that the guy could kill his cockiness? He said going to Suga would bring him back down to earth 😂🤣 Because this is who they are, its what they do. They insult eo and call eo out. So people who get mad at Suga need to watch a good old Yoonmin bickering compilation. They've called each other ugly, fat, stupid, skinny, and a bunch of other stuff some people seem to have forgotten.

Anywaaaaaay. Yoonmin alone together is quality content and that's why Suga is high on this list.

Jinkook

Surely I don't need to explain why this duo is number 2 in terms of JK's most entertaining duos. Right? Like its self explanatory? I've stated many times; imo Jin is JK's favourite/closest after Jimin. Some of u disagree and say Jhope nah, its Jin. Imho.

Tom and Jerry, perfect title for them 2. Love it. Put them in a room together and you're set.

chaotic thread here for those who need a refresher

Jihope aka Hopemin

We don't need to imagine. This duo have been alone together or engaged just them enough to know they are entertaining as shit. Its usually mostly Jhope laughing at Jimin's antics but this usually prompts Jimin into getting funnier with every laugh he gets from Jhope.

Much like Jinmin they are the duo you shove into a dying group to give it spice. They are absolutely epic and I feel confident putting Hobi on the number 2 spot of Jimin's most entertaining duos.

They do have awkward moments when they're checking eo out to try and out compliment eo but that's just entertaining as well 😂😂

Last but not least Jikook/Kookmin/Minkook/Mingukk

Now hear me out. This isn't just my bias that made me put this duo at the top. Alright? There is this ongoing unfairness taking place in the fandom where people undermine Jimin and JK's funny n chaotic sides.

Together they are hilarious and entertaining and this duo doesn't get enough credit for being as funny as they are.

The reason they are number one is because Jikook alone together is a complete programme. Humor, Check. Chaos, Check. Romance, Check. Sexual tension, Check.

Hate or love this duo, they're a perfect recipe for entertainment.

Would love to hear your thoughts but this is how I'd rate them. Thanks for the ask anon, twas fun 💜

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shortpplfedup · 8 months

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Tomorrow's a big day for me so I of course woke up in the middle of the night in a spiral and can't get back to sleep, so I'm gonna try to get out some thoughts I've been having about chemistry and sexuality on screen, especially in the stuff I've been watching lately.

When I'm referring to sexuality here, I'm most often not referring to sexual identity, but to how characters experience sexual desire and respond sexually to each other, which is directly related to ideas of onscreen 'chemistry' as it's seen and judged by audiences. I see chemistry often conflated with heat levels by audiences as well, and I definitely think those are two separate things. This is a thing that's been coming up for me over and over again in the BL space as I find myself...let's say often not into the pairs that others are into, and more into pairs that others don't see as having chemistry. I'll also I guess come out here and say I've been on my own journey of discovery recently, realising I'm acespec, very likely demi, and alongside that (because as I've mentioned often both here and on @the-conversation-pod that I process my feelings through media) thinking about how I bring that lens I didn't even know I was looking through to my analysis of The Stories™️.

@absolutebl has written a lot about their 3 dimensions of good chemistry as physical, emotional and intellectual, and I've found that to be a useful frame. I tend to use 'vibes' a lot to describe what I feel in character interactions, because a vibe between people is such a specific and personal thing for me, and sometimes resists more objective and perhaps useful explanation. 'Vibes' also mirrors my own experience of sex, romance and attraction. To use ABL's frame: physical, emotional and intellectual dimensions of attraction/chemistry are just inseparable for me. And perhaps most importantly for the way I view sexuality on screen: physical attraction is driven for me by intellectual and/or emotional attraction, but never the other way around. In other words, I can see how being intrigued by a person or emotionally invested can make you horny for them, but horniness on its own, while fun to watch, is not really something I get.

Right, with all that preamble out of the way, here are some recent characters and pairs I've found myself really feeling the vibes on that I thought were maybe misunderstood.

Kawi, Be My Favourite

Even when Krist does the work to beat the 'bad actor' allegations it seems he can't catch a break...lol. Kawi is the character who finally compelled me to write this, because I think Krist was doing some great subtle work on emotional attraction and sexual discovery via emotion that got lost in a Disk Horse stampede based on a throwaway line from a secondary character. Kawi had to have feelings for Pisaeng, and then think about what that meant, in order to reach a place of sexual desire. And then that desire didn't look like desire is expected to look, and so its genuineness was questioned. Audiences don't generally see fondness and deep affection as 'sexy', or accept sexual desire as something one has to think about. But I truly appreciated seeing Kawi take this particular journey towards having sex with Pisaeng and having a clearly joyous experience once he got there. The chemistry these two have isn't 'hot' but it is very grounded and emotionally resonant and I found it very affecting to watch.

Cher, A Boss and A Babe

I mentioned on the pod when we talked about ABAAB last season that I very much enjoyed Cher's journey of sexual discovery from 'do I like this?' the first time he and Gun kiss progressing through 'I think I like this' and 'I definitely like this' and eventually to 'gimme dat body' when they have what I called 'married sex' near the end of the show. @bengiyo mentioned on this same episode liking that Cher has to try out physical intimacy with Gun multiple times to determine how he feels about it, and I agree. That's a very undiscussed paradigm, that sex is often not immediately enjoyable/desirable, and wanting to try again because you're still not really sure isn't a bad thing. Their big final sex scene is another scene that isn't 'hot', but there is a very specific and deliberate heat in Cher's eyes when he undresses Gun and looks at his body that sells the physical dimension of their chemistry.

Ray/Sand, Only Friends

I enjoy how grungy and unromantic the sex is on Only Friends because that's how a lot of casual sex actually is. These people are mostly getting their rocks off, not really falling in love or even connecting emotionally or intellectually...except for Sand and Ray. Sand is the kind of man who probably feeds stray cats, so he finds Ray intriguing despite knowing he's a disaster area. Ray is desperate to feel something other than the void inside himself, and he likes the way Sand spars with him. Neither of them is really horny for each other in the traditional sense, and the sex is almost rote in its progression but was definitely fire for the two of them regardless because of the intellectual stimulation driving it. Alas their minds can't fuck, so their bodies will have to suffice.

Basically, people wanting to inhale each other is definitely fun to watch, I'll grant that, but I like getting to explore different kinds of functional sexuality and chemistry on screen, and don't buy a lot of the 'no chemistry' reads.

#bl meta series #meta #on art #sex on screen

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thebreakfastgenie · 2 months

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beejhawk 👀

LMAO I was just sitting here like "no one even bothers to send me beejhawk anymore" but bless you to the bottom of your pot-stirring heart, anon.

Don’t Ship It

Why don’t you ship it? I have several reasons, which I will get into it, but I'm going to start with this one: I like a happy ending. Beejhawk cannot be a happy ending to me. I'm not entirely convinced any Hawkeye/4077th ship being endgame can be a happy ending, even the ones I like. I want to see Hawkeye move on from the war, which is what GFA is setting him up to do. Beejhawk keeps him stuck with the war defining his life. That's depressing to me. In the larger narrative of Hawkeye's life, it's important to me that the war is unimportant. The war being how Hawkeye met the love of his life gives me the ick. It implicitly suggests the war was somehow worth it. I can't think of a single reason why I would ship it. I think the biggest reason is it's simply too OOC for me. I cannot believe that Hawkeye would be in love with BJ. That is not Hawkeye to me. I actually can believe that BJ would be in love with Hawkeye, even though BJ is extremely straight to me, but I can't see Hawkeye reciprocating, ever. I've read some beejhawk fic and a lot of posts, and the way Hawkeye behaves and is characterized doesn't just feel wrong to me, it feels wrong in the way I hate the most. BJ is usually wildly OOC too. The other big reason is the complete lack of chemistry. They have negative romantic chemistry to me. This is a much smaller reason, but the things people get from beejhawk I get from other ships that make more sense to me. For a best friends ship, I have piercentyre. If I want to ship Hawkeye with someone repressed, I have hawnk or houlihawk. Sometimes I joke about this but it's kind of true that I don't need beejhawk because I have hawnk. The Joke Is Wild? Hawnk did it first. I genuinely do not understand why beejhawk is a ship at all, except that they're the two main guys. If I didn't know how slash culture worked, I would have been shocked that it even existed. In the last few seasons, I'm not even convinced they like each other. I found myself asking "do these guys even like each other?" about the alleged best friends more than once, and I had to actively rev up my suspension of disbelief to enjoy their goodbye properly the first time I watched GFA. I very strongly dislike any framing of MASH as a love story, and I have yet to find beejhawk content that doesn't turn it into the Ballad of Hawkeye and BJ. Piercentyre is fun for me, because it really changes the show very little. Beejhawk requires me to rewire the entire show, and I don't want to. A lot of moments that I adore become less meaningful to me if they're shippy. For example, Where There's a Will, There's a War. "When I wake up remind me to give you a kiss" is an expression of BJ's profound relief and a wonderful resolution to the anxiety and guilt he's been feeling for the whole episode. It's hyperbole that only works because they don't normally kiss or want to kiss. It always brings to mind a lyric from a song about WWII: "and I never kissed so many men as on that afternoon." It's not about romance, it's about being glad to be alive. I just like the show better without beejhawk. I started out a little more neutral and my visceral revulsion built through overexposure. There was also an assumption that you shipped beejhawk that I really resented. Especially because of the implications around it being slash. I am gay, I ship gay ships, I ship other gay ships in MASH. I don't ship beejhawk. I'm not required to ship every single gay ship. So all those beejhawk posts about "gay people love this" or "gay people think that" bother me and turn me off even more.

What would have made you like it? Completely different acting/chemistry. Something completely different from what I ever see the fandom do with it. I could probably be sold on unrequited (BJ's side only) or unhappy ending beejhawk in fic if it was really well done. This is your chance to plug! I think a realistic handling of it would help too. The show gives me a BJ who is as far from leaving his family as a man can be. I need to be convinced that something would change that. Meta claiming he's actually close to leaving in the show does not work for me, it directly contradicts what I see. I need writers to dig into it. Actually show me the dissolution of BJ's marriage, the pain and consequences. Show me how he manages to stay in his daughter's life, if he does. Brokeback Mountain does not shy away from how badly Ennis treats his wife and how absent he is to his children. My experience with beejhawk is that much angst is made of the obstacles to their being together, but they're quickly dispatched with. Tell me what Hawkeye sees in BJ, because I don't see it in the show.

Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it? It inspired me to make these. I've been thinking lately that this lyric fits beejhawk "perhaps we don't fulfill each other's fantasies." If you know me, you know this is something positive from me, because it's from what I think is one of the best songs ever written. There is some interesting potential. Just get out of the true love box! Try something dark, something one-sided (BJ's side), something that ends badly! I do really like their friendship in the first few BJ seasons.

#i'm gonna stop there this could go on all night #mashposting #i welcome discussion on any of these points btw #you won't change my mind but it's fun to talk

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oscconfessions · 1 month

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Sigh,,, forgive me confessiony, for I have sinned. I can't rewatch hfjONE, no matter how hard I try. I've been keeping up with the investigation shorts, but I can't watch the main series again. I just can't bring myself to do it. I was on a call with my friend and we both watched the last episode of ONE, we both started crying. I sat in my bed for 20 minutes after crying just taking it all in,,, the absolute trauma hfjONE gave me physically hurts. I desperately love the show, but I can't watch it again. Not after the emotional turmoil it put me through,,, I was hoping everything would be okay and happy and good. I hoped Airy would get to live out his life with society instead of being alone. I hoped Liam would regain his purpose. I hoped Bryce would try to better his mental health. I hoped the remaining contestant would be freed. I hoped oh so desperately that Liam, Bryce, and Amelia would all get out and be happy. I hoped Charlotte would get her mold treatment. But no, none of that happened, nothing good happened. It's sad but that's how it is, you can't always expect a happy ending. Or,, even an ending at all. HfjONE is completely different with how it does it's show, all of the objects have homes and jobs, it's just like our life. And, just like our life, we can't expect everything to be happy. We can't expect for everything to turn out good no matter how badly we want it to. HfjONE shows that. And for that I can't watch it again, it's so sad I wouldn't be able to pay attention there would just be tears in my eyes while watching. It's so beautiful but depressing,,,

#confession #/one #/one/liam #/one/bryce #/one/amelia #/one/charlotte #/one/airy

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hellsite-yano · 4 months

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2023 was good for me!!

(the wine's setting in so lemme make this quick) Continuing the self-improvement train by teaching myself to video edit so I could make this. It was nice to tangibly contribute to a community I've grown very fond of since 2021 and I'm planning on making some maps for 2024.

I drank lots of tea this year too and I think my palette has grown more sophisticated in the process (#1 rule while writing that was 'no irony', jokes are fine but actually engage with the tea and be honest with how you feel about it).

I also challenged myself to watch 3 episodes of anime a day which I managed to do with a surplus of 53, totaling 1148 episodes this year. This gave me a chance to watch things I've always been curious about like Violet Evergarden, Rozen Maiden, Cromartie, Alien 9, etc etc. Gonna do the challenge again this year and catch up on all the classics.

And THE GAINS. Wasn't too happy with how I looked in May so I really buckled down on the treadmill and weights and I'm really satisfied with the muscle definition and my body in general atm. Can't wait to see how I look in 12 months.

I've been messing about more with open source software, trying to find replacements for propriety apps on my phone. Switched from Whatsapp to Langis (degoogled Signal) and enjoyed better alternative apps like Gurgle (Wordle but not ad ridden) and Moelist.

I discovered Qownnotes this year too which has genuinely revolutionized my writing workflow. Hoping to apply this proper in 2024 and really get some work done.

The improvements I made to my social skills from the last couple years have also carried over. More assertive, more confident etc etc. I think I've got this all down so much I don't even need to bring it up anymore.

So yeah GOOD YEAR FOR ME. I think I've earned it <3

it is my cat

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inventedfangirling · 4 months

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BEST of BL's in 2023 [Thai edition]

(more accurately my favourites from 2023, so that i have something to show for the 100s of hours i spent watching them lmao)

I Feel You Linger In The Air - Head & Shoulders above (almost) every single piece of queer media i've ever watched. Khun Yai and Jom will be forever icons. That drunk poem confession will NEVER be topped. Also LESBIANS AHHHHHH also the way the show explored intimacy AHHH just end meeee

2. Moonlight Chicken - Aof strikes again. Gave me Uncle Jim, Heart, Li Ming and my baby boy Gaipa- the music, the cinematography, the writing, the found fckin family - i will recommend it to EVERY one on the planet if i could.

3. Be My Favourite- I did not expect to enjoy this show as much as i did. I loved what they were tryna say. I LOVED the queer undertones in EVERYTHING. if not for the asexual erasure and Not being an absolute asshole this would have been quite the perfect show. And man is Gawin so darn sculpted perfection, LOOK AT THAT FACE, how to not admire!? Also Pearmai my beloved. AND THAT POEM in episode 11 ARGHHH

4. Bed Friend - I know this was a polarizing series in a lot of ways and I agree to some of the complaints raised BUTTTTTT NET MY FRENZ NET! How am i supposed to not melt into a complete puddle watching King pretend to not be absolutely in love with Uea, and treating him like the babygirl he is, when he looks like THAT. I'm but a mere mortal.

5. La Pluie - I kinda liked the show and disliked it in equal amounts. Saengtai annoyed me quite a LOT towards the end BUT his brother Sangtien - Suar Kritsanaphong had me in the palm of his hand. Him and his kiss with Lomfon is etched firmly in my brain. It HAD to be on this list.

6. Only Friends - Gawd. The Promise. The Promise of it all. Thats what maddens me THE MOST. There was just SO MUCH that they could have done. Even if they stuck with a lot of their similar choices i would have still put it higher up on the list if they hadn't undone all the good work they did in the final episode. I couldnt even bring myself to rewatch anything from this one cos of how disappointingly it ended. That being said - FirstKhao KILLED it as usual, i CANNOT wait for their next one, BOSTON deserved better and my MVP- Mark Pakin AHHH i NEED him on EVERY SHOW EVER but also in ways concerning to me GAWD WHAT A TALENT AND WHAT A FACE.

7. Laws of Attraction - Charn you guys. Charn and his utterly deranged expressions and his even more deranged ex. And ofc everything else the show offered. The drama. The mystery. The family. The romance. THE LESBIANS!!!!? Few things not to love. Especially the finale with all the domestic husbanding going on. Precious af.

8. Hidden Agenda - Far too much nonsensical plotlessness going on here for this to claim this position BUT i'm just a girl watching Joong swoon over his man and losing it in the corridor and proceeding to do that myself cos man he's so damn good in these kinda scenes. I think he'd be good in more serious ones too but I would much prefer it if it was with somebody who could offer more than Dunk (no shade he very cute himself)

POTENTIAL FAVS

The following is a list of shows i loved/liked it a LOT but still watching/running so I can't fully judge

(in no particular order except the first one cos who am i to put an aof show not at the top of any list)

Last Twilight [BEST THING EVER I AM WHOLLY AND IRRETRIEVABLY IN LOVE IM GONNA REWATCH IT LIKE ITS MY JOB PLS I NEED IT TO STICK THE LANDING SO BAD]

Love in Translation - episode 4 what a beauty, one of my fav episodes of any BL in 2023 ever- just LOVED the whole fake date thing - it was EVERYTHING

Wedding Plan - Leads are cute. Lesbians are cuter. Made me laugh. Also CUTENESS hello

Night Dream - Who doesn't love a long unrequited but actually totally requited love story?

The Sign - nothing i can ever say is gonna be enough to encompass just how mind-blowing this series is from concept to execution to CGI to costumes to the gorgeous leads with fckin electric chemistry AND the PINING and the will they won't they arhhhh- TOP TIER STUFF

Cooking Crush - i went into this with minimal expectations, the trailer didnt do much for me BUT oh my gawd i had SO MUCH FUN with each episode, i laughed SO much and i am very much looking forward to the rest of it

Cherry Magic - TayNew back again together. Karan and his gorgeous existence. Loved the og. The trope where one believes they are hard to love & someone who loves them like it’s breathing- its literally made for this show and i am SUPER excited where it goes. PLS PLS PLS let them keep the aroace character aroace PLEASE!?!?!?

#2023 bl wrapped #thai bl wrapped #i feel you linger in the air #moonlight chicken #be my favorite #bed friend #la pluie #laws of attraction #hidden agenda #only friends #last twilight #love in translation #cooking crush #the sign #cherry magic thai #night dream #wedding plan #if i missed any i'd be devastated okay byeee #thai bl

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starseneyes · 1 year

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Chenford - Lucy Chen / Tim Bradford - The Rookie - Season 5 - Ep 10

"The List" Or, as I like to call it, "Lucy has the giggles".

Y'all, this one SLAYED me, and I can't wait to jump in with you!

SPOILER ALERT: This Meta will spoil every delicious second of this episode and reference past material from the show (and will majorly spoil the end of the film Serenity. Sorry about that). Please proceed with extreme caution... or don't, if you are ready to be spoiled.

Shall we? Let's get things started!

Fashion Barbie Runway Show

Look, I had a couple Barbies growing up. And while they weren't my favorite toys, I understood the draw of dressing up your handsome Ken doll and fashionable Barbie in fun outfits. And, let's be honest, Barbie always had more variety than Ken.

So, it seems fitting that Lucy and Tim are struggling to choose the perfect outfit for their last first date ever.

Yes, I said it. Tim and Lucy are on an Endgame path, and they are completely aware of it.

Anyway, we see Lucy pull up every significant outfit she's ever worn around Tim (special shout out to the costume department for keeping those around and not selling them off, yet). There's the double date dress, the dance dress, and later the green dress from Lopez's wedding. It's a feast for Chenfordians.

SIDE NOTE: And we have to talk about Tim's bedroom. The crew put a lot of thought into it. Remember, Tim's been married before, and got to keep all the furniture. So, everything matches in tasteful, boring beige (as compared to Lucy's flamboyant, color-filled apartment).

I love that Tim has slippers. I don't know why that detail made me so happy (and the clothes sticking a little haphazardly out of his laundry basket in the closet), but those details help paint a side of the man we've never really seen before. Domestic Tim.

Tim's going through a smattering of the exact. same. shirt. in seventeen colors. And, look, I'll give him props that he has some variety in color to match whatever his date's wearing, but it's terribly on-brand to me for Tim to find the shirt that works and run with it.

Plus, this MUSIC!? "I was overthinking. Are we linking?" Tim and Lucy are definitely overthinking.

Side Note: I am LOVING how they are both tossing the discards on the bed rather than re-hanging them. Because they are so indecisive that they can't bring themselves to completely rule something out, even if they tell themselves that's not the one.

And Tim with the store-bought hangers that he never replaced? Because he probably thinks they're, "Perfectly fine hangers"? I was rolling.

Tim's finally had enough and he picks up the phone to dial Lucy.

Watch. Lucy's. Face.

Girlfriend knows she is taking forever to pick her outfit. She opts for the lie.

"Hi. I'm almost there." "No. No, you're not."

Look. At. Her. FACE! Look at that glee on her face. Because he knows her. She doesn't have to lie to him and worry what he'll think or how he'll react.

"No. I'm not. Sorry. Um, are you?" "No! Uh, look, does this restaurant have a dress code?"

See that twinkle in Lucy's eyes? It's the same twinkle when she laid hands on Tim's radio a few episodes back when he was newly single and she was about to be. Lucy's quickly cooking up a plan.

"Uh, no. I mean, you could wear cargo shorts, if you wanted."

Evil, evil girl. But, oh, how I love this. We're seconds into their first conversation of the night, and they are establishing right away that Tim and Lucy are still Tim and Lucy.

Yes, they're adding a layer to their relationship, but the underpinnings that have been so painstakingly stitched together over the past five-ish seasons remain.

"Really?" "Yeah, I mean, what does it matter as long as your comfortable?" "Nice try." *giggles*

Did. You. Hear. Her. GIGGLES?!

I know I'm pausing a lot on this Meta (and we're about a minute seven into screentime), but that's because this is so insanely delicious that I can't help myself.

I'm the girl who watched in agony hoping for Janeway and Chakotay to have an open-ended end to their romance only for the show to hook him up with 7of9 at the eleventh hour. Besides Mulder and Scully, that was my first major ship. And, to be honest, both left me with some serious trust issues.

So, I went into this episode hoping I would be wrong about so many things. And, folks, I was wrong about so many things. But, we'll get to that later.

Right now, our girl Lucy Chen is giggling because she tried a "gotcha" and he called her on it. And she is so relaxed in this moment that she can embrace the giggle without worrying about any of the boundaries.

Though there are physical boundaries in place (we'll get to those later), the emotional boundaries have completely come down. They're flirting. They're teasing. And it's all out in the open (at least between them) without restraint.

This is unhinged, untied, undone Tim and Lucy from an emotional standpoint. And it's f'ing beautiful.

Also, can we talk about Tim Bradford? I mean, we've seen him happy in relationships, before, but have we ever seen him beaming like this? I don't think so.

"That was clearly a test, and you should know better than to test the master."

Lucy's face is pure, "Yup, that's my boyfriend. He thinks he's so fly" and I am here for it!

Also, Tim in Gold Toe Socks?! I'm fairly sure that's what he's wearing, and that little detail of having super durable, super comfortable socks is so bloody Tim. We don't usually get to see his socks, and I LOVE these little details.

"What are you wearing?" "Yeah, uh, I don't know, yet. But I do have a lot of outfits that I am not going to wear. So..." "Look, well, we are running low on time. Traffic's getting ugly."

Oh, Los Angeles, how I detest your traffic. I once flew into LAX and my ride was two miles away when I called them from the street. Two miles.

One hour later they picked me up. I kid you not. Los Angeles traffic is some of the worst I've ever seen. I remember we went into the office (one of my clients) and it was a ten mile trip that took almost two hours. I am not built for LA traffic, and Tim's line sent a shudder of remembrance down my spine.

Lucy, my lady, it's time to pick a damn dress.

"Yeah, totally. I, it's silly, I just need to make a decision... Ah, yes! The green dress. It is decided."

It was the dress she wore the first time he asked her to save a dance... the first time she had the flicker that he was interested in her as anything other than a fellow officer and former boot. This dress holds significance between them, and it'd be lovely to rewrite its history so it's no longer the dress she wore when Jackson was murdered, but the dress she wore the first time she went out on a date with Tim Bradford.

"Great. Well, I'll see you soon."

He's imagining her in that dress. Remembering her in that dress. He couldn't help himself, even back then. He'd drank in every move of her hips, every hug of fabric against her skin as it swished toward her.

You can see that smile, again. The dazzler. He's dazzled by her, and they aren't even in the same room. That's the power this woman has over him. And he's done resisting its pull.

"Okay. Bye."

She hangs up on him and the music is soft, gentle, hopeful.

Then... nope. She yeets another dress onto the pile and we're back to square one.

The Most Romantic Restaurant in Town

Look, I don't know if this was the director or the script, but sweeping in on all those couples, and the flower arrangements, and the hanging, but dimmed lights? This is a couple's place. This isn't where you take your work friend for dinner. This is where you take your future wife.

And Tim's brought his future wife. But, oh, the boy is feeling awkward now that they're finally out together. Tim sneaks a look at Lucy and she chuckles. She can feel his unease.

"It's good bread." "Yeah. It's such a nice assortment."

Y'all. The Rookie team... we see you! We see you calling out the fan-created Crumb-o-Meter that made my first episodes watching this bloody ship all the more delicious. If you wanted us to know you're stalking our psychotic, borderline-obsessive *ahem* tweets and posts... message received. We'll keep up the good work!

But, seriously, in this moment the awkwardness is on point.

Transitions in life are tough. I'll be honest that with most of my boyfriends, I dove in. With Ernie, he asked to kiss me and we dated for two months (before he dumped me on my birthday over the phone the week of prom). With Sean, he said there was something between us and kissed me in his kitchen. That relationship lasted two weeks because he was moving away.

And before the summer ended, I was locking lips with Travis—whom I'd just met—and I dated him for over a year before realizing we had absolutely nothing in common and I was a stooge for jumping in without taking stock of the situation, first.

So when I met Matthew in the middle of my breakup with Travis... I wanted to do it differently. We spent the summer getting to know one another as friends. I took a romantic relationship completely off the table. Through emails (yes, email), AIM messages (I know... totally dating us), and group dates, I got to know him better and better. We had a budding friendship by the time we finally started dating.

Not the three or so years of Lucy and Tim, but I knew there was something different about my relationship with Matthew from the go. We took everything slower. And I'm so glad we did. It gave me time to savor every second.

Lucy and Tim both know that this is different, and there's a level of awkwardness there as two friends attempt the transition.

"Why is this so weird? We've eaten together literally hundreds of times." "Because our other meals only ever had the promise of being shot at afterwards, you know, not naked time."

I have to be honest with y'all, I did not see Tim saying that. This line leaked early via a journalist with an advance copy (so saying that it "leaked" isn't exactly true since it's the journalist's job to hype up the fanbase). But the journalist didn't attribute the line to either of them. I was shocked to find this came from Tim.

But in the face of the awkwardness they're feeling, it makes sense that he would be searching for words and land on the least romantic ones, God bless him. (Yes, this might seem like a variant on "God bless his heart" but, trust me, in the South they are two very different things. I truly feel for the guy!)

"Naked time? Please, I mean, we've seen plenty of naked people after we ate." "That's not what I-" "No. No. No. I know. I know. I know. I feel like I might... I might just need you to reset your expectations a little bit. You're not going to see me naked for... a while."

I have to stop this here for a couple of reasons. One, Lucy touches Tim's arm when she's saying, "I know". We watched in 5x08 where she struggled not to touch him when they were sitting together outside. Here, on their date, she isn't shying away from that. There's an ease between them, even as they're discussing what might be considered a delicate topic.

Two, I love the way that Tim smiles with her after "a while". There's an ease to it. I can see him having some naked time expectations after she bloody invited him in when they were both seeing other people. But he's listening to her, and he's accepting what she wants wholeheartedly, without question.

So, I don't think Tim was unreasonable in his thought process, originally. However, what I love about this is what happens next.

Also, I love the way that Tim reacts the same way he did to Chris saying he wanted Tim's thoughts—surprised, but ready to listen. It's those little details of this reset that mean so much to me.

"I mean, I don't want to rush into that. I wanna take things slow... go on this date, maybe a second date, have our first real kiss. I just don't think we should jump into bed together just because we know each other so well. Right? I mean, do you?" "No, I... Agreed."

I'm puddling on the floor right now. Y'all, you don't know what consent means to me. I have too many stories for this Meta (y'all'd be running away from me so fast because I wouldn't get to the Chenford for another six pages or so if I got started). But, as a victim of abuse, this is so important to me.

Lucy is setting the expectations here for her and Tim. And he's accepting and agreeing to them without question. This is how it should be, people.

Also, Lucy starts with telling Tim that he's not going to see her naked for a while, but she's also simultaneously telling him that someday he will. This isn't a short-term thing for either of them, and she's making that abundantly clear.

The one thing about Tim is that he knows about all of Lucy's previous relationships (save Nolan) that have happened during her time as an Officer. He knows that with Emmett it was all physical, basically. With Chris, they were "great together" but there was no substance. He's seen how she treats relationships, and, honestly, she hasn't done it with the greatest care or eye toward longevity.

In this speech, Lucy isn't only defining parameters for their physical/sexual relationship. She's also subtly communicating to Tim that she wants to put care into this relationship. She wants to build it up together, the same way they have their friendship. Lucy is telling Tim, "I'm in this for the long haul".

Watch his face just before he says, "Agreed". It's about more than just agreeing to what she's saying, and offering her that much-needed affirmation. It's about making their first major decision together as a couple.

She didn't have to ask him to chime in. Her body is her body and her choice. But she wanted to know that they were on the same page, and he had the opportunity to show her that he is.

In a long-term relationship, communication is the most important binder. Romance is great, but sometimes when you have flames coming out of your ears, you're not that interested in stolen kisses. Passion is great, but when you're cowering on the floor, breaking in half over tragedy, it won't get you anywhere.

Solid communication is the most essential building block to a relationship that lasts. And in this scene, Lucy has told Tim that's what she wants with him, and he knows enough to realize what she's saying beneath the words.

Lucy's face is filled with the same consternation as it was on "it's not worth the risk". She's worried how Tim's going to react. And both times, he reassures her.

It's so brief, so brief, but watch Lucy's eyes after he agrees (and this is all Melissa O'Neil). She's relieved.

As soon as they started talking to one another instead of making small talk, they returned to what has made them great all along—their foundation of understanding one another deeply, and not being afraid to call the other out, or reset the expectations.

Watch the awkwardness evaporate with that… It's the lack of communication that put them on edge. Well, almost all the awkwardness.

"Are you worried someone from the station's gonna walk in?" "What?" "You are!" "No, I-" "Wow." "What are the odds?"

I love this so much. Lucy's calling Tim out, and he's actually a little embarrassed. It's adorable. Tim and Lucy have completely gotten over the awkwardness.

Just in time for... I'm sorry. Are you for real? Seriously? I was just enjoying this adorable couple and y'all couldn't wait for the guests to leave for the night before having it out in the kitchen? Yes, the kitchen is a volatile place, but these two are dating here! Ya know?

Fine. Fine. Have your bloody knife fight. But did anyone else notice how Tim really really didn't want to get involved? He kept hoping for an outcome that wouldn't require them, but the second that dude grabbed the knife, Tim whipped out the gun and badge while Lucy went for a cloth napkin for the wound.

Truly, these two are a power couple, already!

"What are the chances someone from the station walks in now?"

And, too fast for real life (but perfect timing for the joke), the blue and red lights catch Tim and Lucy... red and blue handed.

Look, these two have got to stop racking up reports with both of their names on it when they're not supposed to be together. First Lucy's apartment when Chris was bleeding out, now the restaurant attack.

What on earth will Angela have to say to Timothy now!? (please, please let us find out, soon!)

And what is with these two and knife-attacks-to-the-arms ruining their moments? It's not a good trend.

But can we talk about Lucy's dress? YOWZA! When she stood up and I saw all the amazing back cut outs in addition to the front, I just thought, "Wow, Melissa O'Neil is FIT" and "Lucy looks incredible on this date".

Tim's no slouch, either! The patterned shirt he went with was the best thing in his closet we saw, and I'd kill to have a stomach as flat as Eric Winter's. Well, not kill. I don't want to be arrested while commenting on a cop show. That'd be a little too on the nose.

Before We Move On: I have seen a lot of feedback on the interwebs of people accusing Lucy of inconsistency between 5x01's "Do you want to come in?" and 5x10's "I want to take this slow."

First off, a human being can change their mind about a situation at any time and it not be considered a character flaw or "out of character".

Some nights I'll tell my husband, "As soon as the kids go to bed, you are mine" but by the time the kids go down, I'm too tired to move, let alone engage in "naked time". Does my husband accuse me of being an inconsistent character? Hell, no!

Listen, you can always change your mind about wanting or not wanting sex. We need to get rid of the mindset that if you were hot and bothered one time you're supposed to be permanently hot and bothered, or you're a tease or something. It's an insane way to interpret the situation.

Secondly (yes, I'm finally getting back to the Chenford), Lucy in 5x01 didn't know Tim was emotionally invested. She knew he was physically attracted to her, and she decided to take a leap in the moment. To live in that moment based on the information available.

Even when she's confessing in 5x08 that she's afraid of leaving her "safe" relationship for Tim because it could ruin the most important relationship in her life, she didn't know how he felt.

Yes, she is the one who shut down that talk in 5x01, but that's because she was assuming instead of listening and letting him finish. And assumption is when these two get in trouble (see "naked time" above).

So, in the fullness of her new knowledge, Lucy has made a different decision. She knows that this is endgame as much as he does (though I think he's still so surprised to see Lucy so at ease with all of it considering her history of keeping guys at arms-length after her ex cheated on her while she was living with him).

And it's perfectly okay to change your mind. Lucy changed her mind. Tim amended his expectations to match her wishes because when he does make love with her, he wants her to give herself fully with no trace of anxiety or fear holding her back. He wants her to feel completely cherished, and loved, and he'll wait until the moment she is ready. That is the magic of the moment.

Lucy Chen said, "Not, yet" and Tim said, "Understood. I'm not going anywhere" without saying so many words.

Tim went in with the knowledge that she twice jumped him (girl can be thirsty/assertive), and that she once invited him in.

It was definitely a possibility that they were getting naked after this romantic dinner. He was looking forward to peeling that skin-tight dress right off of her.

But the second she said that wasn't the plan, he rolled with it. And that's sexy as hell.

"This is not strange. Coworkers eat together. It's a thing." "At the most romantic restaurant in town?" "Right."

Our intrepid duo is scrambling. Lucy was making fun of Tim's paranoia over them being caught together, and within thirty seconds they were caught together.

And now it's the fallout. Before, there was no obligation to tell anyone anything or come up with a cover story. Now, they have a choice to make.

And I need to shout out to the director and DP for the staging of this scene. I love Tim and Lucy in their little spot, slightly removed from everyone else, and the sweeping shots where the noise picks up of the chatter of their fellow officers.

The fact that they have Tim and Lucy backed against the wall (heh) means that nobody can cross behind them, and the camera's positioned so we don't have people crossing in front of them. It allows us to focus on them singularly as a pair versus everyone else in the mosh-pit of police work.

"Well, I mean, we could come clean."

Watch Tim's face. It's not that Lucy's had to hide her previous relationships (besides Nolan... and I keep hoping Tim knew something at the time and didn't say anything because he doesn't want to talk about personal stuff in the Shop). But, Lucy's not one to bring dates to events and whatnot.

They've been on one half-date that was interrupted by an assault that resulted in an arrest. And Lucy's talking about letting everyone know that they are officially a couple. That's huge.

Tim can't believe what he's hearing. And even if it's not the right decision right now, it says something to him about how Lucy sees this... that she's not letting one botched date get in the way of them. She's not going anywhere. For goodness sake, she was the first to make them a "we" here!

But... still... there are some issues with coming clean.

"Are you ready for that? Are you ready for Smitty's commentary on us dating or the "ohs" every time we walk into the roll call room together?" "Or, we could lie."

Oh, honey, no. Look, you're a killer UC. We know that. But, when it comes to the people you know and love, you are a terrible liar.

My mind immediately flashes back to Season 1. "You're good at a lot of things. Lying isn't one of them." "You think I'm good at things? Can I get that in writing?"

Like, Lucy, honey. Nooooo. Let Tim do the lying for the both of you. He lied to himself for ages about how he felt. He's a much better liar.

And, to clarify, I understand why they feel they need to lie right now, and it's their relationship. But Lucy shouldn't be the one talking when they do it.

"Uh, yeah, we were there, uh, investigating a tip and then this whole other crime popped off." "Yeah, Lucy's C.I. was convinced they were dealing drugs." "What?" "What?" "Nothing."

Maybe neither of you is good at lying. Yikes.

"Boss wants to see you. Have a safe one."

Oh, Nolan, you don't even realize how scared these two are of walking into that office.

And, I must say that I was wrong, again. Look, folks, I admit when I'm wrong. It's hardwired into who I am because of how I grew up. When this scene dropped, I thought something might be missing, but now I see it was the way they edited the two shot to alternating one-shots that made me think I was missing something.

So, The Rookie, 2. Rachel 0. (and I'm going to lose again, at the end. Stay tuned!)

Tim holds the door for Lucy as they make the transition. I saw on Twitter that Eric Winter insisted on this, and looking back at their relationship, there have been several other instances where Tim has held the door for Lucy. So, this is absolutely in character, and I love that EW insisted upon it. Those little details make the character.

"I think you know how I feel about coworkers dating."

Yikes, Grey! Not even letting them settle into their stances before ripping the band-aid off. And, yes, I'm creating this commentary based on my first time watching the pan-and-scan version of this scene from Twitter.

Because, Rachel was not prepared.

Tim and Lucy glance at one another. Here we go.

"When I started, no one thought much of it. But things have changed. We're more aware of how power dynamics can skew things. Even the most innocent of relationships can be a distraction."

Watch Tim's hand slip off his watch as he fidgets. Tim can be very controlled, and very good at hiding his emotions. But I don't think he was ready for this conversation this soon. Lucy resettles over and over, pressing her lips together as the listens.

And this two-shot is so much better than the split screen they had to do for Instagram formatting. I love seeing the two of them together, united, but mirroring one another's positions while facing Grey—the authority figure behind the desk.

Right now, there's an inequality between Grey's position and theirs. Tim and Lucy are unable to sit and he is permitted to sit and lord over them, like royalty. Grey is the final word, and he's staring down at two very nervous officers.

"Hey, trust me, I get it. We spent 12 hours a day together. Feelings are bound to develop."

Tim looks over to Lucy. She feels his gaze and looks back.

"But we can't afford even the hint of impropriety." "We couldn't agree more."

"We". There it is, again. Some people put a lot of weight into this, wondering if Lucy is afraid that Tim is going to break it off. But I don't think that was ever the issue.

They both know eventually they won't be able to work together as they have... it's impossible. But they want this to last as long as it can.

Tim is saying "we" couldn't agree more. Not "I". Lucy doesn't have to worry about him giving up on her. But I think she knows he's willing to do whatever it takes for something he believes in—and he believes in them.

"Good. Look, I don't want to be the old guy interfering with peoples lives, especially their love life, but this whole Aaron and Celina situation has me worried." "The Aaron and Celina situation."

Tim's surprised face is adorable, but Lucy rolls with it fairly well. They turn to look out at Aaron and Celina. As they do, the camera shifts to a three shot, Grey now standing behind them. They're on a more level playing field, here, flowing with the scene.

Gosh, I love Robert Bella's style as a director. He really lets the camera breathe with the script. I haven't been this excited about a television director since Robert Duncan McNeil started working on Chuck after debuting as a director on Star Trek: Voyager.

Lucy sneaks a glance at Tim, trying to gauge his response before they turn around. He finally meets her eyes with a quick, "Well, that was close" look as they turn back to face Grey.

And, look, I think Grey is on to them. He's not a fool. But, he's also outlining a lot of thoughts in this scene, if we try to see it as him sending them a message.

He's not saying don't date. But he does remind them of the power imbalance (Tim's her SO and a Sergeant). Yet, he calls out the need for Aaron to establish his reputation and for Celina to get through her Probationary period without distractions.

Tim and Lucy will have to deal with their power imbalance.

"Oh, the irony." "Are you gonna talk to Aaron?" "About his love life? Can't wait." "When are you gonna talk to Celina?" "I can't tell her not to date a cop. That is so hypocritical. Oh, I'm gonna get Nolan to do it." "That's cheating." *giggle*

This whole exchange makes me so happy. Here are Tim and Lucy operating as a duo, tasked with a job, and Lucy finds a way to get out of the uncomfortable situation. Tim's "That's cheating" hearkens back to every bet they've ever made.

The subtitles have Lucy saying "mm-hmm", but I swear the first time I heard it (first thirty times I re-watched the scene), it was a giggle. I'm going with giggle.

Because this is the episode where Lucy has the giggles.

"You and Celina dating?"

And Tim, with the subtlety of a Rams fan at a 49er's bar on game-day, reminds us why there's no personal talk in the Shop. Tim's really bad at it.

I'm not going to transcribe Aaron's full response, but I love the way it set Tim on edge. I've talked, before, about how Eric Winter is one of those actors who acts through his fingers and toes. Bruce Willis is one of those, too. Just watch his feet in the early scenes of Die Hard. It's beautiful.

So, when Aaron starts talking about direct reports in a not so subtle hint that he knows all about those types of relationships, Tim gets nervous. It's not that he's afraid of being found out. But the more he's reminded of their biggest issue—one of them will have to leave.

And, don't get me wrong, the show'll probably find a way to work around that by taking Tim out of her chain-of-command but keeping him largely tied to the established team. But right now, Tim's fidgeting on the wheel.

And I swear when I watched it live I thought I heard the engine speeding up with Tim's anxiety.

"Remember this morning when dating in secret was our biggest problem?" "That feels like a million years ago."

Excuse me, ma'am, but isn't your camera on your chest recording everything you say!? I've always been worried about what they say near cameras, but Lucy's throwing caution RIGHT out.

"Did you talk to Aaron?" "Yeah." "And?" "He neither confirmed nor denied." "But?" "But he pointed out that it wouldn't be problematic because he's not her superior and doesn't fall in her chain of command." "Oh."

I get why they don't want to face it. Right now, they only see that as a separation. Those 12 hours a day where they've gotten to know one another, and have been able to see one another, and check on one another, and keep tabs on the other's welfare... gone.

It's a lot to lose even if they get to keep each other.

"Are you sure about this?" "I'm sure he's gonna kill her if we don't do something. Where's my distraction?" "It's ready and waiting."

I can hear Lucy in my head, "I don't like Plan B." But she understands that this is what needs to be done, and that this is their job. Sometimes, they have to put themselves in harm's way, and that a tragic occupational hazard.

But I love how this illustrates that they can still work together, even with the new layer to their relationship. Tim and Lucy are still Tim and Lucy.

"That's the signal."

And the trust that Lucy would be the one to hear the signal, and get everyone else ready to go. They've worked side-by-side for years. They have a natural rhythm there that's been earned. I totally understand why they don't want to lose that.

But it's inevitable... that day is coming. And neither can face it just yet.

"We both can't get out at the same time." "Okay, then you go first." "There's only room for one of us to be a hero, here, and I outrank you." "Sir, with all due respect, Lucy will kill me if I let you die, so I'm dead either way." "Get out of the Shop, Aaron!"

We've seen Aaron comment on the Tim/Lucy thing directly and indirectly, but this is flashing neon lights compared to those other times. He's basically saying, "She will literally murder for you, and I know it, and I don't want it to be me."

And I have to stop to applaud Aaron's ingenuity in finding a way to save Tim, too. Tim accepts his fate. He's military-trained, and he's a seasoned cop who understands the risks he takes every day.

But it wasn't his day to die, my friends. Not today.

"Well, I'm glad you didn't die."

This. Transition! I'm salivating over that transition from one scene to the next, through the glass. I'll admit, I'm a big fan of scenes that overlap and allow us to trade from one conversation to the next. It has always made me feel more like the world was real, and we were walking through it rather than bouncing around through non-stop scene-shifts.

No, you can't do this all the time. It'd become tired out. But, I love the choice, here. Again, I don't know if it was the writer, the director, or someone else who saw the opportunity and seized it, but I'm so glad they did!

"You owe me a redo on our date." "It's what gave me the will to live."

He's needling her. He's so needling her and it's so adorable. I know they have a lot of incredible scenes in this episode, but this one gave me all the feels.

This is secret dating era at its finest. Walking side-by-side and speaking words just for the other while knowing there's so much more going on under the surface. And I am here for it!

I love how he looks at her, waiting to see if he's going to get a reaction. Oh, she gives him a reaction!

"In my mind, I'm hitting you right now." "That's good to know."

Heart. Exploding. The cuteness!

PAUSE: Before we get to the end scene, can we talk about Nyla and James choosing Angela and Wesley to raise their daughter!? As soon as the conversation came up I was screaming at the television, "Pick Angela and Wesley!" And I'm so glad they did.

The power couples of The Rookie really got to show up and show out this week, and I wanted to acknowledge these four, too, even if they're not the focus of our Meta.

"I've been falling apart these days," says the music as we transition to a crane shot, establishing twinkle lights in trees (and those hanging bulb-style ones that I've been coveting for my new backyard ever since we moved in).

We sweep past the... is that a food truck!? Was I actually right about one thing in this bloody episode!? My only prediction that came true was that Tim and Lucy would try to have their date, things would go wrong, and they'd end up at a food truck. I'll take the win since everything else's been a loss for me, predictions-wise.

The Rookie 2, Rachel 1.

We sweep over to Tim and Lucy in the most casually-intimate (it's a thing) position with those high stools. Tim's got his let completely wrapped on the other side of Lucy's, and one of hers is crossed with a foot on his chair.

They don't wear fashionable clothes. Lucy's hair isn't styled. The conditions are less structured and more beautifully chaotic, like the twinkle lights dangling just shy of perfection—but no less perfect in that imperfection.

Tim and Lucy are at ease.

This is the heart of Tim and Lucy's transition. Before, they were trying to do it without all the information on the table, and within the confines of what they thought they needed.

Instead, they've found themselves in metal chairs exposed to the elements, facing the less-than-romantic view of a parking lot, and they couldn't be happier.

I must observe that they don't eat or drink a thing during this scene. The props are simply props, and I always find it fascinating when a scene calls for actual eating versus the implication of eating.

"Streets of Vietnam." *giggle* "That's where we ended up."

For some reason, the caption says "Treats of Vietnam" even though Eric Winter clearly emphasizes the "S" on "Streets".

But, if you're following along and hard of hearing or deaf, I wanted to make that clarification. His words, indeed, do match the signage on the food truck.

And Lucy is giggling, again.

"So, I guess this is our official first date." "Mmm, last night was. For sure. I mean, it's a better story for the grandkids."

Watch. Tim's. Face. He dated Ashley for ages before finding out she had no interest in marriage or kids—two things that mean a lot to him.

And Lucy, beautiful Lucy, is telling him on their second date that she can't wait to share this story with their grandkids.

And I've seen people say, "Oh, what happened to taking it slow?" Welp, you can be in an emotional place separate from a physical place, and that's just fine. She wants to savor every second of this.

This relationship is full of "last firsts". Last first date. Last first kiss. Last first time sleeping together.

If you knew that going into a relationship, wouldn't you want to savor every second? Really live in the moments to form lasting memories rather than rushing through?

"We've got grandkids, now." *giggle* "Nice."

Ooooh, the giggling has got me in a chokehold!

And I'm floored by the confidence Lucy has with Tim. Before, we saw so much hesitation from her in taking big steps, especially with Chris. Hell, I don't know that I recall her ever calling him her "boyfriend".

With Tim, none of that exists. Yes, they had some butterflies to get through in the beginning. But part of what makes this relationship work is how it has been earned and built.

They didn't start day one of their Rookie/TO relationship making moony-eyes at one another. They built layers over time, like the most beautiful crepe tower cake.

Yes, I know it's a weird metaphor, but I like baking shows. And the best part about a crepe tower cake is that you make each crepe one at a time before binding it to the others to form a stack. And sometimes the crepes aren't the prettiest. You might burn one a little. But it still goes into the stack, and it still helps build a beautiful finished product.

Tim and Lucy have built this relationship bit by bit. That's why everything rings true so effortlessly, now.

"Do not break into that car."

I. Started. CACKLING. Much as the cold open had me in stitches, this is the line that slays me every time. Crochety, worn-out Tim comes out on that line.

It's like, "Look, do you see this stunningly gorgeous, amazing, tough-as-nails woman beside me? I'd like to have one date, just ONE where I'm not pulling out cuffs for work purposes".

"Hey, moron!"

Foley artist, I love you. Or if it was recorded audio at the scene, I love whoever did that because even the SOUND of the metal clanging as the perp retreats had me in stitches. This was such a beautiful moment for so many reasons.

First of all, Tim is always going to be Tim. Thank God. I abhor when shows destroy the characters the second they get in a relationship (no, I'm not naming names... Metas make you squeel and laugh. We don't need the negativity, here).

Second, Tim just made the choice to be a man instead of a cop in this moment. Now, if it was a dangerous criminal, I'm sure Tim would have done something, as he did on their first date. But, for Tim "Supercop" Bradford to choose the girl... it's such a huge metaphor for what's coming.

Tim's job has seemed like the most important thing for so long, especially since he finally went after Sergeant, and continues to work despite being eligible for Retirement. But some things matter more.

Friends, Lucy matters more.

"You know, he's just going to break into a car in a different neighborhood." "Well, then some other cop can arrest him."

Pause. Just pause right here and look at Tim's face as he gazes upon Lucy. That twinkle is back in his eyes. And, yes, I'm aware it's probably studio lights set up for this shot. Don't ruin my magic!!

But Tim Bradford is finally looking into the eyes of a woman who will love him as much as he will love her. She will call him on his bullshit, care for his wounds, follow him into the fire, and stand by his side through whatever life throws at them.

They both knew that when they took this leap, they could never, ever go back. It's a constant plunge into the unknown, and with every level deeper they go, it only cements their bond.

Tim and Lucy were never going to work as friends-with-benefits, or a casual thing. They're Endgame. And they both know it.

He reaches for her face with his left hand. The same hand that wanted to hold her face the first time they kissed, but hesitated. He's telegraphing his moves and giving her space to pull back, to tell him to stop, to let him know she's not ready.

But Lucy is ready for this next step.

His right hand resting somewhere between her knee and thigh, the other hand tangling in her hair as he gently tugs her toward him, he leans in for their last first kiss—together.

And Lucy smiles before their lips touch, because this is so damn sweet. This is the beginning of yet another phase for them. And as they share that beautiful moment, we fade to black.

And here we have the last thing I was wrong about—the episode didn't end with Lucy covered in blood.

Look, I called the kiss (so I hope that balances things out a little), but I have a lot of ship trauma. For goodness sake, look at Wash and Zoe from Firefly/Serenity. He wasn't a leaf on the wind... he was a corkboard for the world's largest push-pin.

So, I was pleasantly surprised we faded out to black with our favorite couple intact and happy.

One thing that The Rookie has done really well with its core relationships is allowing them to face issues as a couple.

Nyla and James were rockstars at the bank, but they also worked through the very real issue of who should care for their child in the event of their death. That's something all parents grapple with.

And then Wesley and Angela working through the conversations of when (and whether) to add children to their family. I suffer from infertility, so all three of our children were planned for, prayed for, and provided by nice doctors with catheters and egg timers (I wish I was joking about that last part).

So whatever Tim and Lucy are going to face, I have confidence that they will face it together. They aren't going to suddenly stop communicating, break up, and date other people. This is Season 5B and as of yet, there's no assurance of a Season 6. It's the perfect time to cement them as a couple, explore the obstacles they overcome, and allow the fans to bask in the breadsticks (double breadsticks according to the Roll-o-Meter).

Because, y'all, we ATE.

As always, thank you for reading. This one was a lot of fun to watch and write. And, special shout out to my husband who let me squirrel away for the hour (which is right at our kids' bedtime) so I could squeal in real-time!

See y'all on the next!

#Chenford #Tim x Lucy #Lucy x Tim #Tim Bradford #Lucy Chen #The Rookie #Eric Winter #Melissa O'Neil #Chenford Meta #The Rookie Meta

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