"What if I fade?"
Soap lifts his head from his journal, looking up at Roach who is eerily floating near the ceiling. The slow movements almost make him look like he's in water. Kind of ironic given the way he died.
"What do you mean?" he asks, confused.
"What if I move on, what if I disappear," Roach elaborates, refusing to meet his eye. "Not everyone is a ghost, right? We'd be overly crowded. The fact that we're not also means that not every ghost stays."
Soap forces his dry throat to swallow. He honestly didn't want to think about that. He still needs Roach, he probably always will, but he hasn't even told him that he - he takes a deep breath in to calm himself.
"I don't know how it works," he admits quietly, bouncing his leg absent-mindedly. "You're probably right, like most of the time. Even if I really want you to be wrong about that."
Roach finally looks towards him.
"Maybe I should move on," Roach whispers. "It's not healthy, Johnny. You have no idea the things I want, what I wish for, that I'll never get."
Soap doesn't stand up, just keeps staring into Roach's eyes.
"I think I might have an idea, actually," he whispers back. Roach flounders for a moment. Soap really wishes he didn't get that wrong. He's pretty sure Roach meant that he can't have Ghost, and he himself can't have Roach. So... It's pretty similar.
"I've been feeling less like myself recently," Roach insists, deciding to ignore that comment for now. "I find myself wishing one of you would die so I wouldn't be alone. I never thought like that before, I fear that I may have stayed too long, that I'm starting to lose myself."
And he looks scared. It's written on his features so clearly and it breaks Soap's heart.
"You're not alone," he swears. "I'm here with you, and I'll make sure you stay you, however I can."
Roach looks at him, examining his face, looking for... something. Whatever it is, he seems to have found it because he exhales through his nose like a very soft laugh and averts his eyes, almost... blushing? It's a bit hard to tell from the distance and his left cheek being covered in burns while his right is covered in freckles, but he's pretty sure his ears are red.
"You can't look at me like that, Johnny," he says almost coyly. "I can't do anything about it, it's not fair."
Soap's face is burning and his eyes are wide. Was he too obvious? Did Roach understand or is he joking?
They probably look stupid, both of them redder than a fire truck, avoiding the other's eyes, regretting their words. Or at least he supposes that it's what's happening, because he's sure not looking up.
"If it makes you feel better," Roach finally says, sounding like he's smiling, "you were right for once : I am right most of the time. Judging by your reaction, you did indeed have no idea what I want."
319 notes
·
View notes
╰┈➤ Welcome Back to the Channel
part 18; coffee with chaos
✧.* featuring yn hanging out with Butters and having an important conversation
: ̗̀➛ notes - here's the end of the "yn finds out" arc! we're ending it where it began with Butters because he deserves the world lmao
tags - college au, superhero au, smau
series masterlist
previous | next
Sitting at the table was unbearably awkward.
Butters swirled his hot chocolate in its cup, hand jolting slightly when a drop flew from the top and landed on the table. He muttered a quiet apology before grabbing a napkin and cleaning the spill. Then he went back to sitting across the table from me, looking everywhere but at me.
We both knew what this was about. When I texted Butters, asking to meet at Tweek Bros coffee, it had been after a week long silence in our communication. Our last conversation being the infamous Frozen on Ice incident. I'm not sure how much he's heard from the others, but if Butters didn't notice my tense demeanor, he would've already jumped into a story about his latest family in the Sims.
The questions wasn't whether or not something was wrong, it's who would say it first.
No way. I'm not playing around with this "ooo who's going to say it" bullshit.
I broke the silence.
“I know you’re Professor Chaos.” I pushed the words out before they could retreat into my throat. My thumb traced the lid of my drink as I waited for his response, running along the plastic grooves to focus my nerves on something other than the conversation at hand.
Whatever came next would change our friendship forever. I just had to be okay with that. To me, this truth was more important than a fake friendship where we both walk on eggshells around each other, both too scared to address the ever present elephant in the room. If a truth meant losing Butters, I wouldn't want to know the outcome of a lie-
“Oh thank goodness!”
From across the table, I heard a shaky laugh.
I looked up to see Butters slouched in his seat, shoulders lowered from their previous tense position and hands no longer clutching his cup. A smile pulled at his lips, pinching his cheeks and crinkling the corners of his eyes with an expression of pure relief.
I raised an eyebrow, not ready to let down my tense defense just yet, “You’re not shocked or surprised at all?”
Butters laughed at my question, the joyful sound kicking my own anxieties out of my system. Who would laugh that carelessly if they were worried?
“Well of course I’m surprised!” He started, slamming his hands on the table with the grin still on his face, “Someone figured out my secret identity! I never in a million years thought that would happen!”
Butters paused, toning down the explosive joy to a small smile and bouncing leg as his eyes jumped around the room, “But out of anyone who could’ve found out," His gaze returned to mine, "I’m glad it’s you. Now I don’t have to lie to you anymore!”
A smile of my own crept onto my face, slowly growing until it matched Butter's grin. Weight tumbled from my shoulders as I straightened in my seat, worry no longer pushing me down. Everything's okay.
We're okay.
"Yeah about the lies, you really need to work on your alibis. That Frozen on Ice stunt was what clued me in.” I said, pointing a joking finger at him.
Butter's slapped his hand across the table, “Darn it. I knew I should’ve said we were seeing the Lion King.”
We shared a laugh about Butters’ bad lie, about the ridiculousness of the whole situation, about the fact that we were sitting dead silence, too scared to speak to one another five minutes ago. The world took on a brighter light as our laughed died down, leaving us both with smiles on our faces.
“Yeah…” I said, not sure what I wanted to say when I started, just wanting to say something. “I’m just glad this is all over though. I was driving myself insane thinking I was some terrible person for thinking you were a good guy.”
“Oh, you mean because of those meanies on twitter spouting off all that bullcrap about dick riding?” Butters asked.
Why is this the first time I’m hearing him say dick riding. I didn’t even know he knew what that was.
He’s a 20 year old who knows Eric Cartman. He knows what dick riding is.
I jumped back onto the conversation, my surprise keeping me from responding, “Oh-uh- yeah. I don’t usually get swept up in online negativity, I think it just hit a bit harder because it was about me talking to you. And anyone who doesn’t see that you’re the coolest person ever is obviously the stupid one.”
“You think I'm cool?” Butters’ said softly, eyes searching my expression for a hidden double meaning or snide remark to follow.
We tell him we know his secret identity and THIS is what surprises him?
I reached across the table and grabbed his hands, “Butters you’re a SUPER VILLAIN. That automatically makes you the coolest person ever. I told you I think Chaos is absolutely an icon and I stand by that statement.”
It was as though the rest of the cafe disappeared as sparkles shone in Butters eyes.
“Well, I think you’re the coolest person ever too.” He said, hands returning the grip on mine.
“Well duh!” I exclaimed, releasing his hands and I leaned back in my chair in the coolest sitting pose I could muster, “When you’re the two coolest kids in south park, you’ve got a lot of work to do to keep your rep clean.”
Butters nodded and copied my pose, staring off into the distance over the rim of his coffee cup as he took a totally cool sip of his hot chocolate.
“Yeah. Super cool.” He said, eyes observing the boring people who walked by our table of coolness with a steely gaze. I can see how he managed to keep up the chaos persona so easily. Butters really was the master of keeping a bit going.
“You don’t need to worry about those jerks online anymore.” Butters began, waiting for our eyes to meet before continuing, “General Disarray found their valorant profiles and set up a bot to follow them into any game they start and target them the whole match. Their online lives are ruined.” He finished with a grin and I could see the shadow of Professor Chaos' electric gaze through his eyes.
Maybe they’re not so different after all.
taglist [reply to be added]: @sula0kin @lacuna-at-dawn @anglettecolours @cocolena@sukisprettyface @feverish-dove @sweetadonisbutbetter @hand-writxen@mishstuff@sophtophie @triphovia @lacunaanonymoused @inkedintothepaper @toodeepintofandoms@mmmaackerel @sillybilly-123@n0tangeliccc@sophtophie@inkedintothepaper
55 notes
·
View notes
A request: Ebony celebrates Fleetway Super birthday along with the freedom Fighthers celebrathing Sonic's birthday (so Super and Sonic share a birthday celebration :D) but Scourge IS jealous because he doesn't get any gifts
Adfjdasfjds Scourge being jealous for petty reasons my beloved
~~~
"This doesn't seem fair," Scourge grumbled, folding his arms and glaring at his surroundings like he could set the decorations alight with his eyes alone. Unfortunately, getting zapped by the Master Emerald didn't seem to grant him those powers, but hey, it was always worth double checking.
"Life isn't fair," Sonic said, smug smirk fully plastered on his face as he lounged on his throne for the day. The throne in question was nothing more than an old armchair fished out of the dump, and was covered in rips and clearly falling apart, but it was clean (thanks to Tekno's efforts) and it was the nicest chair the Freedom Fighters owned, so they made do.
Scourge was surprised they were putting in the effort at all. Sonic's ego was so big it was a wonder his head didn't swell and become too heavy for his body to carry; there was really no need to stroke his ego by giving him a throne.
For some reason, though, the Freedom Fighters, despite usually being extremely enthusiastic about keeping Sonic's ego in check, had decided today was an exception. It was his birthday, after all.
"How did you even get all this?" Scourge said. Thankfully, none of the cheesy "happy birthday" banners had been strung up on the wall - those were dumped on Ebony's doorstep - but in their place were custom-made banners proudly congratulating the Hero of Mobius on another year of victory over Robotnik. Over the top and unnecessary, considering the victory in question was mostly just his continued survival, and thus his continued ability to be a future pain in the ass.
Not that Robotnik didn't have it coming, but still.
"We made them!" Tails chirped from where he was stringing up another banner, this one declaring today as Sonic Day. "Tekno designed most of the banner so it would look cool enough that Sonic won't complain, and then Amy and I helped decide what they should say, and then we all painted them together!"
"And you didn't invite me?"
"We both know you would've told us all to fuck off if we asked you to help," Amy said, although the teasing smile on her face showed her comment was light-hearted instead of irritated. Gross.
"These aren't new, anyway," Tekno said. "We made these before you arrived, so you couldn't have helped. Unless you found a way to time travel. If you find an easy way to time travel, let me know?"
"Sure, whatever."
And now that Scourge was looking, the banners did seem a little worn. Small rips on the edges, colors dulled, the paper crinkled; obviously reused over the years. He nudged one of the banners crumpled on the floor with his foot, then picked it up to inspect it, holding it with his thumb and forefinger. Sonic's painted winking face greeted him, and Scourge sneered at it. On the back of the banner, he could see a cluster of signatures. Some he recognised - Tails and Amy - while some he'd never heard of - who in the world was Shortfuse? - and some... well, some were just initials, none of which he recognised. He certainly didn't remember any friends of Sonic's who went by J.L.
"Are you going to stand there, or are you going to help?" Amy said, lightly elbowing him as she passed, snatching the banner from his hands.
"What's it look like? I'm gonna stand here."
"No you're not. Help Tekno bring the gifts in."
"I'm not participating in this. You do shit like this then wonder why he's an arrogant dickhead."
"Is it arrogance if it's justified?" Sonic said.
"Justify my foot up your ass," Scourge said, just as Tekno dragged him away.
The pile of presents was bigger than it had any right to be. The Freedom Fighters didn't have much money - apparently fighting for the safety of the entire fucking planet doesn't pay well, or at all, which is bullshit and all the more reason for Scourge to find the whole thing stupid - so none of them could really afford to go all-out with the presents, but the bulk of the pile came from local civilians who had caught wind of the celebration and wanted to express their gratitude. Over the past week during their travels, civilians would stop them, shyly handing over presents and telling them they were for Sonic's birthday, a token of their appreciation for constantly saving their asses, because they couldn't be bothered to do it themselves.
No one said that last bit out loud, but Scourge always made sure to mentally add it.
Why they couldn't express their gratitude with some fucking cash, he did not know.
"Grab the presents by the table?" Tekno said, scooping presents into her arms. For what it was worth, although the pile was bigger than one would expect, at least most of the presents were small.
Groaning with all the contempt he could muster, Scourge shuffled over to the table and started tucking presents under his arms.
"Did you drop off everything at Ebony's?" Tekno said. Her voice was low, hidden by the rustle of the presents, only loud enough for Scourge to hear. Not that he thought Sonic could hear them when they were out here, but better safe than sorry.
"Whaddya take me for? Of course I did," Scourge said, voice equally low, although that was more for Tekno's peace of mind than his own. She'd shush him if she thought he was being too loud, but she was also really bad at shushing people quietly, and ended up attracting attention with her shushes more often than not. It was really counterproductive. Scourge didn't know why Sonic had let it slide for this long.
"Just making sure."
Scourge grunted, but he did give the rest of the presents an obligatory once-over, just to be sure there weren't any that shouldn't be there.
Super's birthday fell on the same day as Sonic's. It was why all the cheesy banners had been dumped on Ebony instead of in the trash where they belonged. The Freedom Fighters - okay, mostly Tekno - thought it was a good idea to send a few presents over from all of them, as a gesture of goodwill and minor bribery to please not turn evil and try to kill them all again. It was a plan Sonic had been conveniently left out of; even with their less strained relationship (although that really wasn't saying much) it was blatantly obvious he still wasn't fond of Super. He wouldn't stop them from giving him birthday presents, or wanting to wish him a happy birthday, but he would wrinkle his nose and mutter a comment under his breath, which was apparently a problem, although Scourge hadn't figured out why.
Ebony had asked if they wanted to stop by, even tentatively offered a joint birthday celebration if that would make things easier, but she was swiftly turned down. Presents were a safe bet, the Freedom Fighters had agreed, because they could be dropped off at any time, and Sonic would never have to know, and they could wish Super a happy birthday without ever leaving Sonic's side on the actual day. And they could send Scourge to be their little delivery boy so none of them would have to do it; despite the olive branch, Tails and Amy were still wary of Super. Apparently Scourge and (somehow) Tekno were the only ones who weren't little bitches about him.
Well, Sonic wasn't a little bitch exactly, but he wasn't as cool and casual about Super as he wanted to be. So he didn't count.
"I'm just saying," Scourge said, hefting as many presents into his arms as he could, "if you're going to make the decorations look like a 'congrats on kicking ass without dying' celebration, we should all be getting presents."
"It's not your birthday, though."
"I'm his boyfriend, though. Shouldn't I get, like, a solidarity present?"
"No, because it isn't your birthday."
Scourge bit back a comment about how if Super got to have a birthday just because he was another Sonic, then logically, so should he. Because, well, it wasn't his birthday, even though all the celebration really made it feel like it should be. He thought birthdays for Sonics were the same across all dimensions - he was pretty sure he shared a birthday with Prime, eugh - but apparently not.
With another exaggerated groan, he shuffled back into the living room with the presents towering high above him, because second trips were for chumps, and dumped them at Sonic's feet. His own gift wasn't in there, but only because he'd already given it to Sonic this morning. The moment he woke up, in fact. Scourge wasn't about to be beaten by anyone in anything, including being the first person to give Sonic a gift.
Not that it was anything special. Scourge wasn't exactly rolling in money either, and Sonic was a pain in the ass to shop for. Humiliation had nipped at his heels when he handed the gift over, ready to burn him, but Sonic seemed to really like it - underneath the obligatory layer of snark - so it was fine.
Probably.
He eyed the pile of presents again, and tried not to gnaw on his lip.
Some of the civilians who gave them presents looked... well, not well-off, but comfortable. Not rich, not even close to rich, but able to at least afford something nice for the Hero of Mobius. More than Scourge could afford.
More than any of the Freedom Fighters could afford, though, and Sonic didn't really give a shit about his fans outside of the inherent bragging rights that come with having fans in the first place. None of those civilians knew what Sonic liked. The Freedom Fighters did. Scourge did.
He doubted any civilian signatures were on the back of the banner he picked up.
A party thrown by civilians probably wouldn't look like this at all. That would be far more elaborate, with more people pitching in to help, even more vomit-worthy banners and decorations hung from every wall and banister, singing the praises of Sonic the Hedgehog. Over the top, and licking his ass, and making a huge deal out of him. Exactly the kind of celebration Sonic would like; he always loved it when people lavished him with praise for his efforts in saving the world, the arrogant bastard.
Sonic didn't have any of that, this year. Oh, sure, the party would stroke his ego, but it wasn't lavish. Compared to what he could have, it was almost humble.
But. He didn't look upset by it. Didn't even feign annoyance that it wasn't as big as it could be.
Scourge couldn't remember any of his own birthdays looking like this growing up. No friends surrounding him, bickering as they hung birthday banners or fetched presents or argued over the cake. No shitty birthday chair fished out of the dump. No lavish party to sing his praises. His birthdays weren't humble like this one, but they weren't extravagant, either.
They were... cold. Empty. There was no soul in the presents, no warmth in the candle of the cake. No signatures on the back of a hand-made birthday banner.
Scourge swallowed down the ugly feeling in his stomach.
Whatever. He didn't need any of that shit. He was Scourge the fucking Hedgehog, he knew exactly how great he was. Who needed a giant party? Not him. He wasn't that fragile.
"Scowl any harder and your face will get stuck."
Scourge flipped Sonic off without even looking. "Eat shit, birthday boy."
"Are you sulking because Pixel Brain jumped on you this morning when he came to wish me a happy birthday?"
"He crushed my fucking ribs," Scourge complained, glad for something to focus on. The interruption had been rude, and Tails was fortunate they were already awake; had he done that shit while Scourge was still asleep, he would've gotten an ass full of quills.
"Right. And you're definitely not sulking because you wanted to cuddle."
"I don't cuddle."
"Bullshit you don't."
"I don't. You have no proof."
"Then you're gonna start."
Before Scourge could say a word of protest, Sonic grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him onto his lap.
"Fuck off and let me go," Scourge snapped, shifting to get comfortable.
"It's my birthday," Sonic said, smirking his stupid, smug, victorious grin. "That means you have to do what I say."
"I'm not doing shit, you can't tell me what to do, birthday or not," Scourge said, leaning further into Sonic when he wrapped an arm around his waist to pull him closer.
"You'll get the chair when it's your birthday, if it's any consolation."
"Fuck the chair! What about my presents?"
"We'll see."
"Asshole," Scourge grumbled, biting Sonic lightly on the shoulder to emphasize his point, but he only got an amused chuckle in return.
"You're getting off when the cake gets here," Sonic said.
Huffing, Scourge snuggled further into Sonic. They'd see about that.
11 notes
·
View notes