#I can't take anymore I am dying under this... | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

saturnsorbits · 27 days

Text

Always a Groomsman

Fandom: My Hero Academia, Warning: Angst (A Touch), Smut, Exhibitionism, Reader Smokes, Kaminari isn't a Hero Anymore, Brief Mention of Addiction etc. Word Counts: 5.4k.

Summary: A wedding, what a wonderful place to reunite with the one that fucked you and ran all those years ago.

The light is already dying by the time you finally manage to slip away from the reception and make a B-line to the back of the tent. Your feet are killing. The whiskey helps the pain, but even whiskey can't numb everything.

'Oi.' Bakugo catches your elbow, stopping you just short of freedom.

'Where are you going?'

'Need some air.'

Flicking up his eyebrows, he offers you a smirk that tells you he's not buying your bullshit. 'So it's got nothing to do with that then?' He hooks a thumb towards the dance floor and the drunken silhouette of Kaminari Denki He's curled himself around a bridesmaid, hand pinching the silk over her hip, lips hovering barely an inch above her neck as she threads her hand through his hair.

You chew your lip and lie. 'No.'

'C'mon... Just talk to him, you know you want to.' Bakugo's eyes widen suggestively.

'I think he's too pre-occupied to talk.' Something bubbles in your stomach as you watch Kaminari whisper in the woman's ear and you quietly shift your gaze so you don't see what happens next.

'You know he's only over there because he thinks you're mad at him, right?'

'I am mad at him.'

'It's been years.'

'He fucked me over, Kat...'

Bakugo's gaze hits the floor. It's not like he's forgotten what happened. 'I'm not taking his side but -.'

'No.' You raise your hands, palms flat in the air to stop him. You know what he's about to say. You've heard it all before. 'You've got guests to entertain and I am literally going to explode if I don't get some air in the next minute.'

Rolling his eyes, he plants a kiss on your cheek and uses his new proximity to whisper in your ear. 'He'd make a pretty groom, that's all I'm saying.'

'Oh, fuck off.' You manage to swat his shoulder only once before he's turned on his heel and returned to the mess of wedding guests that whoop and roar when he re-emerges into the fray.

The cold hits you as soon as you duck under the edge of the tent and step out onto the small deck. Instantly, you pull at your shoes and hiss as your feet are forced to straighten against the wooden floor. Before the throbbing in your soles has settled, you stagger off, limping towards the tall rail separating the deck from the field beyond.

It's a nice night, cold, but nice. In the sky, stars burn on a back-drop of navy, their blanket only broken by the soft, red blinking of the odd satellite or plane. The music from the tent floats out and lingers in the air, leaving you with enough space to actually think for a second.

You'd been overjoyed to watch Bakugo finally get hitched to Kirishima, but almost all of that excitement had died when you saw Kaminari. It had been almost ten years since the night he'd kissed you outside of UA, since you'd stumbled up the stairs to his dorm and let him be the first to touch you. He'd pretended as if it had never happened afterwards and you'd taken the hint.

A few months later, you'd moved south and he had stayed. He hadn't even shown up to your leaving party, despite both Sero and Kirishima telling you he'd be there.

But, all of that was in the past, or at least you'd thought it was until your eyes had grazed his as he stood beside the alter as Kirishima's best man and you'd felt a forgotten affection swell in your stomach. Sighing, you fiddle with your clutch bag and remove a half-full packet of cigarettes from within. You flip open the box, pluck one from inside and pop it in-between your lips before diving back into the clutch to search for a lighter. Rummaging for a second, you come up empty.

'Shit.'

'Need a light?'

The voice makes you shriek. You jump, stumble over your shoes and just about manage to catch yourself on the rail. Hand falling to your chest, you can feel the hammering of your heart through your skin.

'Am I that scary?' He snickers.

You squint, trying to make out his edges in the low light. Your eyebrows furrow, then lift as you focus on the man in front of you. He looks good, better than the last time you'd seen him: A scrawny shadow of himself pictured in a double page spread of a gossip magazine, something about heroism, drugs and a sex scandal printed in bright ink above it.

Flicking your eyes up to his, you're glad to see the spark has returned to his eyes. An old, but familiar shiver runs the length of your spine and suddenly, your stomach fills with motion. 'You... You look good.'

'Yeah?' He holds open his blazer, allowing you to get a full look as he slowly spins on the balls of his shoes and pinches at the skin of his stomach. 'Hero weekly says I'm chubby now.'

You're tempted to lie, to tell him that he's looked better, but you don't. 'No, you look good, healthy. It suits you.'

Something in Kaminari's chest stutters and he has to swallow the spit pooling in his mouth before he speaks again. 'Light?'

You pause. 'You don't mind?'

His face breaks into a smile, perfect and shining. 'Nah, don't even crave the things any more.' He misses out the bit about having enough nicotine patches on his chest and arms to stop a bull.

You concede. There's a comfort that comes back almost too easily, like the past finally catches up with you. It dampens the fire in your stomach, leaving you clutching at the anger that had grown inside of you since that night. You lean forward, letting him cup his hands around the end of your cigarette.

His hands shake when he tries to make a spark. It takes one, two, three times of his thumb coming down on the wheel before it finally catches a light and he can step back to a safer distance.

'It's still the same one, doesn't work as well now though.' He mumbles flicking the cap of the lighter. It's silver, with a chipped yellow lightning bolt painted on the front of it.

If you looked close enough, you're sure you'd be able to find the rough scratching of your entwined initials, engraved by his shaking hands at fifteen.

You breathe in, savour the burning of smoke as it infests your lungs and exhale. Turning, you rest against the rail and look back out over the field.

'So – you're -.'

'Sero said -.'

You both start up at the same time, the constriction of the silence around you forcing you both to attempt to fill it.

'You first -.'

'No, you – go on.' You encourage, arching an eyebrow.

Kaminari swallows. His heart thrums violently, threatening to deafen him, but he's just hoping that you can't see how bad his hands are shaking, how he can feel sweat beginning to bead his forehead. He's not an idiot. He knows how he left it, what you must think. As soon as Kirishima had asked him to be best man he’d felt his guts begin to twist and turn. The idea of seeing you again set his veins on fire. You cough and pull him back from the edge of his thoughts.

'I – uh...' He can't think. You're too close, too real and suddenly, his tongue seizes in his mouth.

Another beat of silence nestles its way into the conversation and you can't take it. You switch the conversation. 'Ei said you're going to work with Aizawa.'

He takes a deep breath and prepares himself to look at you, but it still doesn't stop the air being stolen from his lungs when he finally does. There's a flourish of nostalgia in his stomach and he swallows a grin. 'Yeah. He, uh, he sought me out. After all the – the, y'know, rehab and all that, he thought I'd be a good fit.'

'Yeah?' You raise your eyebrows. Kaminari's fall from grace had been far from undocumented. There had been barely a week that he hadn't appeared in some sort of magazine, his eyes dull and another questionable entourage in toe. Another one night stand, a model spotted having cocaine snorted off her tits; wherever there was chaos, Kaminari had followed.

'Yeah... We're, uhm, we're already working with a group of kids in UA. They got caught up in that villain attack down town. We do these workshops were we like pretend to be pro-hero's...'

Smiling, you raise your eyebrows. There's light in his voice, something you've missed and something you're keen to hold onto.

He snorts. 'No, I know, I know, but we pretend to be...' He shoots you a cheeky glance. '… Current... Pro-hero's doing interviews and talking about our experiences and stuff, y'know like it's miles away. Helps to sort it all out in your head, picture a future were it isn't all still hanging over you. There's this one kid, absolute firecracker... He stopped the whole fucking building collapsing before they could get everyone out, has a pretty nasty scar to thank for it too, but he does the most flawless impression of Bakugo it's almost scary.'

You bat at his arm instinctively and freeze as your hand wraps his bicep. For a second it's all too easy to forget you're not still teenagers clinging onto youth with both hands. 'That looks good on you too.'

'Huh?' He swallows before moving his hand to cover yours on his arm. His skin prickles when you don't pull away. It's hard to forget how it all ended. How he'd been too naïve to tell you how he felt, how he'd bit his tongue for months after he'd summoned the courage to finally kiss you and how he'd tried everything he could to run from the violent storm of emotions that had been released in his stomach that night.

It hadn't worked.

Avoiding you hadn't worked, neither had sleeping with other women or pretending it had never happened.

You lean into him, tightening your grip and the warmth of your skin reminds him that he's not the scared teenager he used to be.

'Helping kids, working with Aizawa...' You giggle, relaxing into his presence at last. 'It looks good on you. You light up when you talk about it... It's nice. Haven't seen you look like that since...' You chew your lip. 'Listen...' It's impossible to read him. His jaw is set, eyes facing forward as the cold begins to chap and redden his cheeks and you have to fight to push away the thought of how beautiful he still looks. 'I know you're only out here because Bakugo told you to be.' The accusation slips off your tongue too easily as the past rears it's head.

'I'm not – it's -.'

'You don't have to lie to me.' You offer him a broken smile, a truce of sorts.

'I really screwed up, didn't I?' He chuckles, letting smoke drift from his nose and mouth before turning to you.

'You did.'

There's a lapse in the conversation and he takes his chance. You're peering up at him, your eyes filled with the embers of something he hopes is affection and he dives in. 'Do you remember that night... Outside the school when... When, we -.' He feels stupid. The words lodge in his throat and refuse to move, forcing him to stop and haul in a breath. You'd think after all the talking therapy he'd be better at it by now.

He battles through, after all – he doesn't know when he'll get the chance to see you again.

If he doesn't do it now, he never will.

'When we slept together?' You sigh then tilt your head and finally give in, resting your head against his shoulder. Part of you wonders why he's brought it up, the other part isn't sure you care. Right now, you're just happy to bask in him. You've missed it: him. Even with the history between you. 'You don't have to apologise. I get it.'

'What do you mean?' Kaminari stammers.

'Well, It was a mistake, right?' It's a question disguised as a statement, but you don't give him time to answer before you're already trying to soften the blow yourself. 'We were young and people sleep together all the time, it's not a big deal. I just -.' You puff out your cheeks, finish your cigarette and drop it to the floor, letting Kaminari crush it with his dress shoe. 'I – I guess I just expected us to... It doesn't matter, you didn't want it and I respect that, just, it was just a hard pill to swallow, I think.

He takes another lungful of cold air, hoping the shock will calm him. It does, but only until he cranes his neck to look at you again. You're looking back up at him, your eyes wide and questioning, pupils blown out through darkness and alcohol. His gaze lingers on the soft pump of your lip and he's almost knocked over by the rush of memory that reminds him you used to taste like strawberries and smoke.

He wonders if you still do.

'It's not like that...'

You swallow. 'What was it like then?'

His voice is a whisper when he finally admits what he came out her to tell you. 'I was scared...' His thumb ghosts the back of your hand. 'I'm still scared.'

'Denki...'

'Yeah?' He's vaguely aware of the fact that he's unable to tear his eyes away from your face, but he's too caught up in the feel of you pressed to his side, where you belong, to care.

'Don't start saying things like that.'

'Why -.'

You lick at your back teeth, fighting annoyance. 'Not now. Especially not when there's a bridesmaid wondering where you've got to in there.' You hook a thumb back towards the tent.

'I'm not – we're not, we're not together or anything...' He's stumbling, making a mess as usual.

You roll your eyes. 'You don't have to lie.'

'I'm not lying.'

'I saw you all over her.'

'Dancing – we were -.'

Chewing at your lip, you sigh. 'It doesn't matter.'

'No.' He takes hold of your hand, squashes his own on top of yours and pins you as best as he can without forcing your fingers to entwine. 'It does.'

You swallow. 'Why now?'

'I – uh -.'

'Why not then?'

'I was scared.'

'You know...' You slip your hand from under his and fold your arms across your chest. 'It hurt when I realised that I was just another fuck for you, but it wasn't as bad as loosing a friend Denki – We were friends and you just fucking ghosted me. No explanation, no apology, you could have just fucking ignored it and I would have let things go back to normal, I would have just -.' You're crying, kind of. Tears well in your eyes, but you're refusing to let them fall. You've spent too many tears on him already and your make-up took almost an hour to do.

'I was a fucking idiot, I was scared and – and -.'

'I think I'm going to go...' You nod, swatting away his hand when he reaches for you. 'It was nice seeing you.' Turning, you're ready to make a short dash through the tent, ready to be as far away from the constricting air of the deck.

'No. Please. Please, don't go – not again, I just. Fuck.'

A hand wraps your wrist, pulling you back just enough that he can slip in front of you blocking your escape. 'Den - Kaminari.'

'Just let me, let me get this out. Okay.' He's pleading when he looks up at you, but he can't let you leave, not without at least trying. 'I was a fucking idiot. I was so scared that you'd hate me, that, that I'd be a bad boyfriend, or you'd move away and I wouldn't be enough, that I'd be too busy with work, or it'd be too much and I – I let that get the better of me. I was already falling apart, even back then and I didn't – I didn't want you to have to see it, to put up with it. You, fuck, you deserve so much and... That night...' He hauls in a breath. 'That night was one of the best nights of my life, not, not just the sex – just being with you and I – Well I did fuck it all up, didn't I... Look at the state of me - I couldn't, I couldn't have dragged you through all that.'

'Oi.' You fix him with a stare. 'Don't go blaming yourself, not for what you've been through - or how you've dealt with it. Never, okay... And for what it's worth, I would have gone to Hell and back if you'd asked.'

His jaw ticks, but when he turns to face you there's something almost thankful in the shine of his eyes. 'I'd never ask.'

You chuckle. 'I know. You wouldn't have had to. I've have done it anyway.'

He swallows.

You roll your lip between your teeth and bite down. 'So you liked me... Back then, I mean. When we – I wasn't just, just another girl that you...

'We both know I did.' He licks his lips. 'I was a fucking idiot, I -.' His eyes widen as he struggles to find a word to summarise the years that have elapsed between you and leaves him out on a limb.

'Do you still...'

He nods.

'And if, if it were to happen again, you'd want that?'

'More than anything.'

'And you wouldn't run away?'

'Only if I was chasing you.'

You smile, straighten and curl your body into his. 'Then...' You whisper. 'Kiss me.'

He does. Wrapping a hand around your neck, he lets his thumb rub at the softness behind your ear as your lips meet again for the first time in years.

Things go quickly from there...

It's overdue. A coming together that both of your bodies have longed for, for far too long. He kisses the same, with lips that are a touch too dry and a hunger no-one else has ever been able to match.

You have a mind to stop him, have a mind to stall his hands as they press to your chest and seek out the stiff peaks of your nipples, but you don't. Instead, you let yourself be overcome. Your hands find his belt. It's almost too easy to do, to unclasp the buckle and yank it clear of his suit pants. You cast it aside and are surprised when he doesn't seem to care where it lands.

He pushes you back, urging you further and further away from the wedding still raging inside and towards the scant privacy the deck can offer.

Although, it's more than obvious that neither of you care.

Each touch is electric. A build of emotion that had crystallised, now dissolving into your hands and dripping through your fingers. It's rough and needy, desperate, but more than that, it feels right.

'Here, quick.' You pull at the lapel of his suit jacket, yanking him impossibly closer.

He misreads the signs, twisting and turning as he attempts to wriggle from his jacket and slip it from his shoulders.

Tugging it back into place, you shake your head. 'No time, just...' You let your hand slide down his chest, feeling your way across the expanse of him before slipping your fingers into the waist of his suit pants. '… Come here.'

Kaminari moans as you make quick work of his pants, shoving them eagerly half way to his thigh. 'Don't need to tell me twice.' He chuckles, using what little air remains in his lungs to whine as your fingers graze over his hardening cock.

You tease for barely a second longer before taking hold of him and squeezing.

'Fuck.' His head rocks back on his shoulders, eyes rolling to the skies as he sinks into the feeling of having you again. 'I've missed you. Shit.'

You chuckle and lean in close, pressing your chest to his as you lick at the shell of his ear. 'Have you missed me or just my hand?'

Immediately, he pulls back. His hands wrap around your elbows as he holds you at arms length. He looks comical, with his pants clinging to the thin at the end of his thighs and his grey boxers almost dyed black, stained with pre-cum as his cock pulses in its confines, spilling more desperation onto the fabric. 'I really have missed you...'

Stooping to catch your eye, he raises his eyebrows and offers you a smile. 'You. Not the sex, not anything else. Yo -.'

You barely let him finish his sentence before you're breaking from his constriction and pressing back into him. 'I've missed you too...' Biting his lip, you ease the sting with a kiss. 'But, we really don't have a lot of time and I'm so fucking wet I -.'

He whines against your mouth. 'Can – Fuck, let me taste.'

'Maybe later.'

The idea of later makes his blood sing, but the sound of the party still raging inside quickly refocuses him on the task at hand. 'Think I can make you cum in five minutes?'

'Oh.' You squeak when his hand pinches at your ass. 'I fucking hope so.'

'Challenge accepted.' Grinning from ear to ear, Kaminari presses back until you bump against the wooden railing of the deck. His hands roam across your body, squeezing and nipping at everything he can reach. Reaching up, he takes hold of the strap before pausing. 'Can I?' Or will this rip?'

'It'll be fine... Just -' You push your chest out, helping as best you can as Kaminari pulls down the front of your dress to expose you to the air.

The cold air forces your nipples to pebble immediately, the lip of your dress forcing your breasts to sit high and pretty and in perfect reach of Kaminari's wondering hands.

He cups your chest, thumbs brushing over your nipples until you squirm. If he had time, he'd savour this. He'd crane his neck, bow to your beauty and take one of those hardened rose buds into his mouth. He'd taste your skin, savour the salt and lick effortlessly over you until your cries became the background noise to his dreams. Licking his teeth, he looses himself to the feeling of you filling his hand. The fat of your tit spills through his fingers as he squeezes, earning another breathy gasp from you before turning his attention to other areas.

'Denki...' You're breathing heavy already, your chest heaving as Kaminari takes his pleasures feeling every inch of you. His hands sink, exploring. He pinches at your ribs, skates over your ribs and grips your hips before landing a firm smack against your ass. 'Denki, please... Fuck, c'mon, I need -.'

'Yeah?' His pupils have blown when he looks at you. Rings of gold struggle to keep them in check as hunger threatens to swallow them whole.

You nod, helping him yank up your dress until it's bunched up around your hips. Shivering against the cold, your knees knock together as a wave of vulnerability suddenly washes over you. You're freezing. The arousal trapped in your underwear cooling by the second, even as your cunt burns to be touched.

'Fuck...' Kaminari's hand sinks into your underwear the second it can. His fingers brush across trimmed pubic hair before petting, gently, at your clit.

You moan, bucking into his hand as he slips further and brushes his fingertips across your entrance. Bringing his hand back up, he presents his hand to you in the air. Your arousal shines on his skin, the glittering light from tent making it shimmer as he widens his fingers, leaving sticky strings to hang between index and forefinger.

He admires the shine. 'You're so fucking wet.'

Nodding, you reach for his wrist to pull it to your mouth – tasting yourself and cleaning his skin, but before you can, his tongue darts out of his mouth. He collects your slick like a delicacy and moans as your sweetness hits the back of his throat.

'Denki, I can't wait anymore... Please -.'

Kaminari wastes no time. In a moment, he has himself freed from his boxers, his cock hard and twitching against your stomach and your leg hooked lazily over his arm.

You tug aside your underwear yourself, exposing your cunt to him fully. There's no time to waste. Something primal eats away at your insides, something you're sure will only subside once he's seated inside of you. Your fingers itch, one hand playing with the strays hairs at the base of his neck as you look down and watch as he guides himself into you.

The initial push makes him hiss. You're tight. Tighter than he remembers as your walls wrap around him and clench. Locking his jaw, he hauls in a breath through his teeth and wills himself away from embarrassment.

Feeling him twitch helplessly inside of you, you grasp him by the lapel and pull him close until your nose touches his. 'Don't you dare. Not...' He gives you another inch, making you gasp and roll your hips. 'Not yet, don't fucking -.'

'Don't worry, baby. 'm not, not gonna.' Holding onto his sanity with his fingernails, Kaminari pulls back his hips and grinds back into you. The rhythm he sets up is uneven at best, but still, each thrust causes his cock to rub directly across the sponge roof of your cunt making you whine and cling.

Lips finding his neck, you litter him with lust. Your teeth find purchase, biting down to stifle the moans bubbling in your chest as he continues to fuck you, bottoming out each time in an effort to give you everything he has.

'You're gonna leave a mark.' He speaks through gasps, his pace stuttering as he continues to try and please you. The muscle in his thighs shake, his hands struggling not to clamp down on your waist as he pushes through the pulsing of his balls that threatens an early end.

You chuckle, revelling in the goose-flesh your breath leaves in its wake. It's intimate, setting a fire in your stomach as you pull back enough to catch his eye once more. You smile. 'What? Don't want your cheeky bridesmaid side piece to see?'

His pace falters. 'I don't.'

'Denki, baby... I'm joking.'

The pet name hatches butterflies in his sternum. They bump against the bone, tickling his organs and making him feel like he could float six feet from the floor. Not for the first time, he curses his own previous cowardice for stealing away all the pet names the past could have gifted him.

Bringing your foreheads together, you pant, breathing in each others air for a moment.

It's always felt like a cop out to call him 'The one that got away'. The title had never fit, no matter how much you'd wanted it to – or wished at one point and yet, right here, now, you wonder how you'd ever even brought yourself to think of him like that. 'Denki... Denks.' He hums, transfixed by a look he'd only been able to imagine in your eyes. 'What – what do you need. Tell me.'

You chew your lip, muttering. 'I'm never going to cum like this.'

'Ah.' His eyes light up, a shock of understanding zipping through him.

It might have been years, but he remembers every second of that night you spent together. He remembers you quaking, remembers how you'd looked on your hands and knees, thighs shaking as your spine curved deliciously, your ass bouncing as you rocked yourself back on his cock desperately. How could he forget?

Slipping out of you, he pulls back only enough to lay his hands on your waist and spin you.

You twist, dizzy and grab hold of the railing to steady yourself. Instantly, you're up on your tip-toes, back curved as you wait, pretty and presented. Anticipation lances through your legs making holding yourself up difficult, but it's all worth it when you feel him stretch you open and slide home.

Not giving you a second to adjust, he sets a blinding pace, spurred on by the memory of what it had felt like to have you fall apart around him. The fingers of his right hand dig into the flesh of your hip as the other slides up your back and takes hold of your neck. He grips, leaning over you to whisper, hoarse, in your ear. 'Touch yourself... Touch yourself for me, show me how good you feel, baby.'

You obey. Slipping a hand between your legs, you spread your fingers to feel him rutting into you for a moment. The skin of his cock is silk soft and slippery with your arousal, grazing the sides of your fingers as you shift and finally, begin to rub at your clit.

'Fuck...' Kaminari's grip on your hip stutters, growing light as he feels you tighten up around him. 'Go – Good girl. Shit. I'm not – not gonna last, I -.'

You don't need him too. In a few moments, you feel the telltale rush. Your cunt aches, clit pulsing as your orgasm threatens to reduce you to your knees. With your eyes rolling back into your head, you struggle to keep circling your clit, but Kaminari's fingers replace yours without you asking.

His movement is clumsy, but he manages to fuck you through your high either way. 'Holy, holy fuck... You feel, feels so – fucking Hell.' Stuttering, he struggles through, pouring his focus into you as you milk him relentlessly, bringing him closer and closer to his own end. With a tight chest, you reel back, glancing over your shoulder.

Kaminari's face is flushed, his cheek bones brushed with a pink that makes him look boyish and young. The edge of his mouth is twisted, a cause of his teeth gnawing at the inside of his cheek and his jaw is clenched, bringing out the cut line of his jaw.

He's close. You can tell. The thought thrills you, your cunt tightening on impulse as you await your prize.

'Where, fuck, fuck... I can't cum on your dress, you're – you're gonna have to move, or, or -.'

Reaching back, you grab at the edge of his suit jacket and pull at him, forcing his hips against your ass. 'Inside.'

He doesn't get a chance to think, his body makes the decision for him. His balls tighten, pulsing as he cums, emptying himself inside of you. Curling over, he presses a kiss to your shoulder, teeth scraping against the exposed skin as he pours himself into you, pumping you full.

With your stomach full and his lips grazing the base of your neck, you relax into a bone-deep kind of satiation you'd not felt since that night. It's surreal. Absurd as you come crashing back to reality as realise that the party has begun to quieten inside of the tent.

He's still dripping out of you when you hear the high pitched whistle cut through the air.

Kamiari turns. Tearing his suit jacket from his shoulders, he drapes it over your hips, covering his own mess.

'You two made up then?' Sero's smile is blinding. His hands are dug into his pockets, thumbs poking out over the material as he shrugs himself into his shoulders. He's plastered, his hair mattered and a mess as it falls from its bun, but even the alcohol making him stagger doesn't put a stop to his mischief.

Kaminari panics. His voice is still breathless, shaking slightly from the force of the orgasm that had almost had him seeing static. He should have made you cum quicker, shouldn't have slowed down the way he did. Fuck, he should have asked you to come back to his hotel. You deserve better than a quick, forgive me fuck outside of a tent in almost freezing temperature. He curses himself and cringes. 'How long have you been stood there?'

'Long enough to be pitching a tent, you guys don't fuck around huh...' He chuckles to himself. 'Well, I guess you do but -.'

Struggling with your dress, you can't help the smile that breaks your lips when Kaminari shields you and helps get your tits situated and hidden once more. Stepping from behind him, you slide a hand down his arm and twist your fingers in his. Hoping this time he won't run away. 'What do you want Hanta? We're just about to get out of here.'

Even if you had been trying to miss the smile that brightens Kaminari's face, you wouldn't have been able to. He re-adjusts his jacket, now slung over your shoulders and squeezes your hand tight.

Sero chuffs. Still too drunk to know better. 'When I first came out here I just wanted to smoke, but now I'm thinking of asking to watch.'

Reaching down, you pluck one of your heels from the floor before turning and throwing it headlong at Sero's head.

He ducks, laughing as the shoe goes wide. 'That a maybe then?'

'Hanta...' Kaminari whines, but Sero is already backing away holding his hands up in a mock surrender.

'Woah, woah...' A cheeky smile tugs at his lip, bringing his left dimple out in a way that only happens when there's real mischief up his sleeve. 'I guess now would be a bad time to tell you that the lights out here cause a pretty solid shadow to be cast on the side of that tent then, huh?'

The colour drains from both of your faces. 'No...'

Sero's eyes shine as he reaches into his pocket and removes his phone. 'I've got a video of it if you don't believe me...'

-> Masterlist

#kaminari smut #kaminari x reader smut #kaminari x reader #mha smut #saturnsorbits #saturnscribbles

304 notes · View notes

ghouljams · 8 months

Note

GHOUL I LOVE YOU omg you've been feeding me so well I don't deserve you. I've been obsessed with your demon au (frothing at the mouth, salivating, gripping into my bedsheets as I read all of it) and I had an idea. I was reading a fic, which I'll link down below don't worry, about ghost dying in combat and coming back to you in actual ghost form. How do you feel about the idea of ghost going to hell but they turn him into your demon? He promises he'll never leave you, goes on a mission and just...never returns. But Ghost is not only your lover, but he's a legend in hell and why would hell waste a good soldier? They send him back up to you........

You become the new war machine, your boots digging into still hot flesh as you march over the bodies that Ghost has torn down. You see him across the way, watching as he slaughters anything and everything that stands in his path. Ghost isn't fighting for the task force anymore, he's fighting for you. And heaven will burn before anything happens to what's his.

Sorry if this is kind of a rant but I have this horrible craving for angst and violence.

https://www.tumblr.com/ceilidho/727096787831341056/prompt-you-keep-seeing-apparitions-of-a-dead?source=share

OK ON GOD I AM IN LOVE WITH THAT FIC holy shit

Alright another real quick demon au for the Ghosty boy, not exactly what you said but... I think you'll like it

There are things that are meant to be seen, and then there are demons. Human eyes were never meant to look upon such wonders, such living machines, all perfectly curated musculature and instinct. You're lucky if you never catch a glimpse of one. Such beauty could drive a person mad. To see what humanity would never touch but always strive for would be a curse. One that would haunt and eat away at you until there was no choice but to give in to it, and hopefully become one of them.

You press your hands to your mouth, leaned forward with your elbows on your knees, unsteady from the way you bounce your leg. Nothing more they could do. That's what doctors always said on TV, you didn't think you'd actually hear it in real life.

"We just have to wait and see," They tell you, and you nod. You all nod, because you understand what those words mean. The 141 is always prepared for tragedy, never more so than in the long hours you spend waiting for Ghost to wake up. He's crammed so full of tubes and wires, the nurses rotating different syringes of medicine through his IVs, you hardly recognize him.

You take shifts. One of you in the room with him at all times, cramped in the uncomfortable hospital chair. All of you figuring he'll want a friendly face when he wakes up, and drawing up a schedule. Damn military training. Still, it's good. It means when you relieve Soap of his watch you know he's going to grab some sleep, the same way you know Gaz will be by when your shift ends in the wee hours of the morning.

You must doze off even with a nap under your belt, because when you wake up it's freezing in Ghost's hospital room. You check your watch, 03:00. The witching hour. Nothing good ever happens at three AM. You sigh and get up to ask the nursing station for a blanket, if you're cold you're sure Ghost is too. If he can even feel cold like this.

Something deeply wrong and horribly familiar grabs your hand.

You tense and turn. Ghost stares at you, his fingers tight around yours, your stomach drops and you rush to slam your hand on the call button. He's awake. He's awake and it's chaos. You spend the next few hours talking to doctors, watching nurses pull tubes out of Ghost's throat and perform tests on every patch of skin that isn't bandaged. You stand outside his room and talk to Price over the phone, make sure the rest of the team knows Ghost's back from the dead and passing everything with flying colors.

You don't mention what you don't want to say out loud, what you can't even put a name to. Something in his eyes, they're darker than they used to be. Not the color but the depth of them. Something in his voice is richer, something about the way he moves feels... more. The room is freezing and no one can get the temperature up.

You think someone will notice. When the rest of the 141 shows up to visiting hours you think one of them will see what you do. You hope. They don't. If they do, none of them mention it. The only difference is in the way Ghost keeps reaching for you, keeps taking your hand, pulling you to sit on the edge of his bed whenever you're close. Your relationship wasn't a secret, but he's never been one for PDA. Now you can hardly come within arms length without him touching you. Soap teases you for it, and Price is happy enough just having Ghost back not to mention it.

Gaz asks if you're alright when you excuse yourself from the room. The two of you speaking quietly by the vending machine. You pour out your fears to him and ask if he's noticed anything, anything, different about Ghost.

"Just that he seems glad to be back," Gaz tells you, a reassuring hand on your shoulder. It's the way he says "back" that gives you pause. Back. Back from where? Were you the only one that had been holding out hope he wasn't dead? Had the rest of your team been sitting in the hospital room with what they thought was a corpse? You don't push it further, too afraid what Gaz will say next. They're glad he's alive and that's all you have to hold onto.

It's almost like nothing happened when he's discharged --sooner than anyone expected, sooner than a normal man should've been after what happened-- and you almost start to believe nothing did happen. You can ignore the scar on your shoulder, the only evidence that Ghost ever spared you his fate. You can ignore the way he slides his hand against the curve of your back when he never used to. You can ignore the fact that, that's all he'll do, just touch you. Like he's reassuring himself you're there. He hasn't come to your room, he hasn't pulled you into his lap, he hasn't kissed you or called you anything but your name, and you're the only one who seems to notice.

You're the only one that raises an objection when Ghost is cleared for duty. The only one with no real reason to object. The way he stares you down afterwards... he knows that you know something you shouldn't.

It's not until you're actually in the field with him that you realize what it is, where he must have come back from. It's the way he pushes his mask up, hunched and panting over a pile of corpses. The way he wipes his bloodied hand against his lips. The dark black smoke that he forces from his lungs with each exhale. The inky veins of his hands, his arms. The sulfur smell that sticks in your nose. Fire and brimstone. He looks at you like a wild animal, any thoughts behind his eyes unfathomable and inhuman.

He's perfect, you think. A perfect machine, made just for this. Your Simon, wrong in all the right ways.

"You're not supposed to see this," He rolls his shoulders back, tips his head towards you as he licks the blood off his lips. You raise your gun, keep it trained on him. He takes a step towards you, and you shoulder your rifle, stand a little more purposefully.

"Don't move," You warn him.

"Put the gun down," Ghost warns you in turn. He takes another step towards you, you slip your foot back, preparing to run. His eyes dart over your shoulder. "Price tell them."

You turn to look and feel your heart drop as Ghost grabs your gun. No one's there. Why would they be?

Ghost rips your gun from your hands and spins you, twisting your arm behind your back. You struggle, stomp on his insole, he twists your other arm behind your back to hold you like a wild dog. Barking and biting at nothing. When you finally do sag against his hold, it feels the same as always. You expected the dread of a death sentence to seize you, but it's like sparring.

"I missed you," He murmurs, pulling you against his chest. Ghost's head drops, his covered nose against your neck, breathing you in. The ridges of his mask are uncomfortably inflexible.

"You left me," You bite back, all the misplaced anger pushing itself to the surface. How could he take that hit for you? Didn't he know how much it would hurt you? What happened to always coming home? What happened to never leaving you alone? He died. He fucking died, and he came back wrong and no one will believe you.

"I know," He presses his lips to your shoulder, to your still aching scar, "I'm sorry."

"You left," You can't think of anything else to say, can't think of any other words to break on your tongue. You emotions are running wild. Tears prick at your eyes, anger, frustration, grief you never let yourself touch. It all hurts more than you can put into words.

"Never again," Ghost tells you, he's so warm and solid behind you, he still holds you like you might make a run for it, "I'm all yours now, yeah? Never leaving you again," He kisses your jaw, you can smell the blood on him, "I'll claw my way out of as many graves as I have to, deal?"

You nod, feel something heavy settle in your chest, feel Ghost shiver behind you. That's what you're afraid of, you think, that he'll keep coming back. Different each time.

"Not different," Ghost hums in your ear, "Better."

#cod x reader #simon ghost riley #x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #ghost x reader #simon ghost x reader #ghost mw2 #demon!Ghost #cod ghost #ghost call of duty #ghost cod #spooky boy ghost #let's make a fuckin' deal baby let's gooooooo #I miss writing horror I should write more horror

362 notes · View notes

richardlawson · 2 months

Text

The End

After a few years away from that particular couch, I started seeing a new therapist at the end of last year. It had been long enough, I sagely determined, after I was felled by a series of really nasty panic attacks—one happened while I was doing a Q&A on stage with some filmmakers. They didn't notice, nor did the audience, nor (most importantly) the publicists. But it was happening. Me contemplating running off stage, into the Soho afternoon. It was a terrible feeling, and eventually feeling terrible starts to be a drag, so I found, after a fair amount of searching, someone new.

He is in his late 50s and has a kind, open comportment. He's much more giving and lean-in-and-nod than my last therapist, a sort of prim and watchful gay guy who retired to Florida. I like this new gay guy, I think. Or, I am warming to him. At first, I thought his platitudes and constant quoting of various people were corny. But I have resisted such sentiment for so long, and lack of sentiment hasn't cured me, so maybe I should try the earnest stuff. He has me meditating for one minute a day. The panic attacks went away.

For a little while, anyway. They've been creeping back, when I least expect them, and when I most do. I am afraid of what I am afraid of, I hate what I hate, I feel increasingly indifferent to what I love. Winter hardens care. Do I like movies anymore? Do I like a play, seen on some chilly Saturday afternoon? Maybe it's just seasonal. Or it's media malaise in a time of such austerity. They're trying to lay off the best people while the worst people watch, safe as houses. They're trying to take the whole thing apart and replace it with nothing. I have worked in my business for 16 years, well over a third of my life, and for the first time it now feels truly dire and terminal and like I need to start making other plans for what to do with the rest of my time here in the waking, working world.

Something I talk about a lot with my therapist is inertia—I use the word constantly. Why can't I just, why can't I just, why can't I just. I know something's in me, latent under my lazy skin, but it never makes its way to the surface. At least not yet.

Which causes panic, this stasis. I am scared of the drugs that might help, and am resistant to other concrete life changes that might make this better. (I like a glass of wine too much; I'm a fan of my vape.) I have tried avoiding things, I have tried not avoiding things.

I guess it's not circumstance, really. I have panic attacks when I'm home at night, Andrew asleep in the other room, me watching some murder show or YouTube video (same thing) and suddenly a feeling hits me, the conviction that a blood clot or some other lurking thing is making its way up my body and that this is my sorry, lonely little nighttime end. Here it is, the moment when I'm carried off, when I disappear, when I slip away into nothing.

My parents just finished a cruise, a lifelong wish fulfilled, in South America, hooking around Cape Horn and then exploring the fjords and inlets of Chile. All the reports were good. They had the best time. I had worried about my mom itching for her work email, about my dad being newly 90 years old and maybe feeling exhausted by all the activity. But it seems they managed well. They saw Patagonian cities, they saw mountains rising out of the sea, they saw the shy, retreating edges of glaciers, so quiet and demure in their dying. My mom sent us pictures and I thought most about the glaciers, those last cracking murmurs of a time before. When I was in Alaska for a wedding, years ago now, we went to a park of some kind and the visitor's center that was once built over a glacier then stood cantilevered over dry land. The ice had crept much farther up the mountain, winking goodbye.

How awful. And yet, in the depths of my hypocrisy, I relish an unseasonably warm day. Whatever lifts me out of winter, I guess. Whatever can drag me out of the feeling that everything is indeed going to ruin—a career, a life, a liver, a future. My best friend moved out of my neighborhood recently, which is sad. But it also affords us the opportunity to explore new territory, to find backyard bars with good deals where we can huddle in forgiving late-winter winds and make uneasy escape plans, where we consider what parachutes could ever be made of.

It's not always enough, of course. I too often have nights, far too late, when I go pacing around the living room, circling the coffee table in a weird sort of marching step in my underwear, shaking my hands to get the dread to go away. My new therapist has urged me to find what centers me. To think of all that is known and steady.

I try to gather myself and remember the people I have, arrayed across the planet. Andrew, in restless sleep down the hall. My sister in her Los Angeles canyon, surrounded by trees. I walk the room, knees high and somehow defiant, chest straining with worry. And I see my parents, on a boat at the tip of the world, dreaming of lost things.

54 notes · View notes

babybluebex · 2 years

Note

Ok but being close with Eddie but never admitting how you feel about him in fear of losing his friendship. After the close call with the demobats you start to pull away and once he's healed enough he confronts you wanting to know why

oh anon i want you to know this started as a small blurb and i got SO carried away, so have this hehe warnings under the cut for mentions of blood and injuries

You couldn't even bare to glance at him without the memories returning, the rushing of blood in your ears as Eddie laid on the floor choking and dying, the cold in your heart when you thought he had died. He was asleep in the spare bed at Dustin's house, his trailer not having survived the earthquake, and you were the one tasked with watching him for the night. Typically, it was Dustin— to the outsiders who peeked in, it made more sense if there wasn't a revolving door of the wanted murderer's friends cycling in and out of the house— but you had begged him to even let you see Eddie. But now that you were next to him, you understood why Dustin had said no.

Eddie looked awful. Like, awful awful. "Microwaved shit," Eddie would say, if he were awake. His eyes were rimmed with purple and blue, his mouth dry, puffy, and still blood-stained. His hair hadn't been kept, and you absently pushed it back and combed through it as you watched him breath. His breathing was wheezy on every tired inhale, and he exhaled through his mouth. You couldn't take the sight of him, all bruised and battered in the small bed, and you bit your lip as you got up to leave. A glass of water would help your heavy heart, or maybe you could pretend it would and the placebo would help.

"Hey," came a gargled, raspy voice, and you turned quickly. Eddie was awake. He blinked blearily, probably overridden with pain, and he smacked his dry lips together a few times. "Where're you goin'?"

"Just getting some water," you said hastily. "I'll bring you back something. A-And some pain meds."

"Wait," Eddie told you, and he shifted in bed to face you. He didn't have a shirt, letting the wounds on his side and the scratches on his arms breath, and you looked away as the blankets fell to expose a smooth hip. "Oh, what? Never seen a hip?"

"Eddie," you sighed. While you were glad that his humor had remained, even in pain, you weren't in the mood for games. Every time those big, brown eyes landed on you, you felt sick, and you could only remember the screech of the tailed demobats as they nearly ripped Eddie limb from limb. But they hadn't, you reminded yourself. Eddie was alive. He was here and alive, even if he was in bad shape.

"Sorry," he mumbled. "Where are you going?"

"I told you, I'm getting some water," you told him, and he shook his head slowly, carefully; his neck wound was still looking bad.

"No, not that," Eddie said. "What's going on?"

"Nothing's going on, Ed," you sighed. "Why would you think that?"

Eddie sighed and touched his side gently, seeming like he was ready to drop the subject. "I'm sorry," Eddie said gently. "But thank you, for taking care of me and all."

"Of course," you told him. "You're my best friend."

"You're treating me like I'm not, though," Eddie said, and anger brewed in your stomach. Why won't he just leave it alone? "What happened? Why did that fuck you up so bad? If this were Dustin, you wouldn't be so torn up about it."

"I told you," you sighed. "You're my best friend, I can't just... I was covered in your blood, Eddie. I thought you were going to die in my arms, and I made my peace with it in seconds, and now..." Your voice broke, and tears dotted at your eyes. "And now you won't leave me alone!"

"What do you mean—"

"Every second of every day, you're there," you sniffled. "You're in my head and you won't get out! How am I supposed to function knowing that you're here and I can't help you?"

"Why are you pushing me away?" Eddie asked. "Why won't you even won't look at me anymore?"

"Because I love you!" you told him. "I love you and it fucking sucks to see you hurting so badly, so I... I just don't see it. I choose not to see you fighting for your life, and it hurts to pretend that you're not hurting, but it's easier for me to pretend because... Because I love you."

Eddie didn't seem taken aback by the confession, like you thought he would be, and he slowly reached out for you. You hated the way his hand and arm shook, and you quickly tangled your fingers with his. "I-I'm sorry," you mumbled. "I didn't mean to... Just dump that on you, I..." Eddie carefully tugged you back closer to his bed, and you sat back down in the chair and leaned forward, pressing your forehead into Eddie's chest. "I'm sorry."

Eddie's hands clumsily touched your cheeks, and he lifted your head up to look at him. His big eyes were full of tears, and he held your face in his weak hands. His thumbs smoothed over your cheeks, drying up your tears, and he whispered, "I love you too."

"Eddie—" you started. but he tugged you close to him before you could say more, and he kissed you. His lips molded to yours, like he was made to fit with you, and you kissed him back quickly, wishing and hoping that the moment was real. You needed Eddie to be kissing you, because then it was all real. You wanted everything to be real, even the bad parts, because the bad parts led you to him, to this moment.

"I really mean it," Eddie whispered, a shaky breath hitting your lips. Your arms went around him, and you guided him to lay back down. Obviously, sitting up and talking and doing so much was too much for him, and he winced as his wounds throbbed with pain. "I love you. I've loved you for years."

"Shut up," you laughed gently, and Eddie's hand took your tightly, tighter than you thought he would be able to.

"No," Eddie said. "You've opened this can of worms. Now you're gonna hear all about how much I love you."

You sniffled. "When did you realize?" you asked.

"Same moment as you," Eddie said. "When I was making my peace. I realized how much I would miss you, and it didn't make sense to me until you got to me. Watching you kneel down and feeling your warmth around me, I knew why I would miss you. Because I love you."

"You're so cheesy," you laughed lightly.

"Swiss cheese, maybe," Eddie said. "The amount of holes I've got..."

You sighed, and Eddie chuckled before a cough wracked through his body. "You know," you started as his coughing trailed off. "Getting attacked by wicked devil bats and living to tell the tale is pretty metal."

"I'm the most metal motherfucker ever," Eddie said, and you pushed back his hair to kiss his forehead. "Take that, Ozzy."

#st4 spoilers #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader angst #eddie munson angst #bex answers #anon ask #bex's drabbles

1K notes · View notes

drippingmoon · 4 months

Text

Merry new year to everyone, again! 🥳💞🥂

I know it wasn’t an event this year, but writing a yearly wrap-up is really therapeutic, you know? So I decided to continue the tradition, and if anyone wants to join me, absolutely view this as an open invitation^^ Introduction is over, and now let’s see what 2023 looked like:

(spoilers: I adored it. I'm also probably going to make this my fixed post, in case anyone ever wants to catch up with me. And also because my second baby, AoS, is growing, and it doesn't have an intro, but I can't leave it out.)

Stats

Aquiver, Aglow: 181k (draft 4) + 195k (draft 5) + hmm, draft 6 is an outlier, because I didn’t rewrite from scratch, so I’m unsure of the written word count. I didn’t change much from draft 5, so I’d say an extra 15-20k. Total word count: 376k+

Remains of a Night: 120k

Aberration of Sunlight: 134k

This was definitely my most productive year to date. And I got so hungry: the more I wrote, the more I just wanted to keep writing, and honestly? I’m proudest of myself for literally carving writing time whenever I got a spot into my schedule. Mostly it was from 8pm-11pm, but I had a mad run where my only free window was from 1am till I literally felt I was dying… I’ll talk about that separately🤣🤣👌

Though, I'm seriously understating it.

Like a lot of other people, I would have all these hours when I was younger when I didn't have anything to do, yet I'd still find some excuse not to write. "I'm waiting for the right time." "I'm anxious I'm not going to get it right." "Tomorrow! Tomorrow I can start right from the morning, and I'll have more time to write, yeah?" or "I'm too tired now, it's late..." and so the snowball rolled down and downhill and I found every reason under the sun not to write, now that I think about it. Sigh. So much time wasted. But I can't regret it either, because I needed those baby steps at that time.

And now! Now I do what I thought I'd never learn to: I prioritize, and I actually organize my daily stuff so it's not so impossible anymore to have a little bit of writing time. I don't take it for granted either. It feels like such character growth for me, I'm immensely proud of it.

And for the record? This year was a huge improvement over yesteryear mentally, too. It turns out, what I needed to get over my word count anxiety… was to be faced with people who literally didn’t give a fuck about it, and just cared about the story. One of the most unexpected things beta stage managed to do to me… was to quench all my anxieties. It’s as simple as that. I read and enjoy very long books. People also do that. So, I’m very happy to say I’m no longer in a tizzy about ‘quiv. It might kill my chances for trad publishing, it might not. I’ll be happy come what may.

Because it’s so simple how working on ‘quiv or thinking about it makes me joyous, and now I can just enjoy that freely. I will miss writing this story so much. I really will. But at least I’ll have it forever to reread, and I hope this thought brings comfort to everyone who also has problems letting go, like it does to me.

Let’s break it down a little, shall we?🤩

Aquiver, Aglow◇◇◇

My little star of the hour. How fond I am of it.

Like you could glean from above, ‘quiv went through three drafts this year. More specifically: in the first part of the year, practically almost as soon as February arrived. I knew it was getting closer to the final version, and gave me the push to finish all three back to back. I couldn’t justify anymore the bazillion AUs I do with rewrites (basically, WHAT IFs from events, WHAT IF it went this different way, WHAT IF Tyrone actually said this here… and so on and so forth. I wanted to test out as many pathways as possible, and did I exhaust every one of them in existence? Definitely not. I don’t think that can happen, you just keep getting new ideas. On and on. What happened, instead, is that these couple different pathways, at some point, cemented themselves as canon in my mind. I didn’t want to tease myself with alternatives anymore, and that’s when I knew they would be it. Some bits from the first draft, some from the third, some from the second. Some were even draft 6 originals!

It’s a bit of a weird process. I definitely didn’t need to reach draft 3, and meet Mezusa, because I could’ve feasibly made it work with just Yles in the story. It still would’ve made sense, though in a different way. But if I hadn’t… I might’ve missed one of the best characters I’ll ever probably have created, and the story (and Yles) is much stronger for her, if you ask me.

For that matter, yes, full rewrites every single draft might take a lot of time and effort, but honestly I don’t think I’d ever change my writing process (save for the moments of frustration when I think I will lol) because of the sheer satisfaction of it. Whoever said so long never to settle on the first version, I owe you a beer and probably some curses as well lmao, but very lovingly. You shaped my writing life.

I don’t have much else to share about ‘quiv, other than it’s off with my beta readers my beloved, and maybe a tentative promise that, if anyone wants, you’ll be able to read this precious ball of hope of mine relatively soon. This story is so gentle to me. And as much as I loved to write and work on it, I dearly hope that whoever decides to give it a go, is treated just the same. That’s the only wish I have.

I also don’t know if I’ll go trad or self-published. Instincts say trad, because I fuckin’ suck at marketing (fact), and I know I’d grow resentful if I’d have to put so many hours into advertising when I know I could instead… write. I’m a writer. That’s the only thing I know how to do. Trad, however, might not be as kind on a ~200k as life’s been, so I might not have a choice. If it comes down to that… I’ll just treat it as I do everything. I don't love this story any less if I just write, publish without a fuss, hope that maybe, just maybe, a reader or two will stumble upon the story and we could talk. Maybe we can have the fun of our lives, create some genuine connection. I know that’s applies to a lot of writers. I hope we can accomplish it.

And so, I’ll finish this section of the wrap-up with a kiss to my ‘quiv, for all the warmth it’s ever brought me. It’s come so far, I know it can live distinct from me from now on. It brings me great comfort. And I look forward to the times I’ll reread it, and we can relive our best experiences together. Never thought I’d get to this point. Thank you, ‘quiv.

Remains of a Night♤♤♤

Mwhahaha! And because ‘quiv took all the pressure, this left AoS to be an extremely fun and spirited experience. Literally the chillest I’ve ever been writing. In many ways, it’s more my thing than I expected ‘quiv to be: I get to murder characters left and right, it’s more plot-heavy and banking on the tension created by a creature that horrifies the characters down to their marrow, but still the only way to defeat it is to know it better, which, uh, might have unpleasant consequences for them. It’s got chase and stealth scenes, and it always shoots me with adrenaline to think about them. In short, exactly my jam.

It’s not a new book, nope. You knew it before as Aberration of Sunlight, but from the get-go I felt it would be bigger than ‘quiv. Very fortunately for me, I had a place where to break it, and behold: there’s RoaN (book 1), and AoS (book 2). There might be a third book, which I dearly hope not because titling sucks, but it depends on the Sycamine arc. More on that in AoS.

One last thing to note, before we delve into the story (hoo-ray for earlier drafts, because I can talk more frankly about them). This is the culprit of my 1am writing adventures!!😫❤ My schedule became too packed, then NaNo came round and I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to honor how AoS began, because it was last year’s NaNo, aaand I’m happy to say I won NaNo, somehow, with 56k down before I died. At that time, I only had one section left to write (from both books), otherwise, hahahaha, yeah, it wouldn’t have flown. Still, most of draft 2 I’d written in September-October, with my fairy lights, late nights, and cups of hot cocoa, exactly like how life should be<3

Alright. We’re going through them chapter-by-chapter again, exactly because I love seeing the titles so much:

ACT 1

Cracked Visor, Scorpion Grass

I did it! I did! Twas another shower thought I managed to get down in time. Bare broken sentences, but they did the impossible, and arranged this chapter into a structure I adore to bits and won't ever change. (And 'quiv's naughty voice left me alone for once and I could write it properly!) While I don't think I'll ever be happy with a first chapter (not as a concept, but the writing — part of me will always wish that the reader just had all the information already lol), this one is in the right place.

It pays its respects to the story of the broken helmet at the foot of a spaceship, and how it reconnects Madigan with all the people who'd suffered from being tethered to the planets when they yearned to fly, but the Beast punished them cruelly for it. It makes him feel phantoms of their efforts. The tone is exactly what I needed this story to start from: melancholy and numbly hopeless, against the backdrop of the Beasts's echoed cries.

Rain Through the Universe

Unlike 'quiv, because RoaN and AoS are way more plot-heavy, it's not as easy to change things willy-nilly (whereas 'quiv was all about character bonds and dynamics). As such, it's very similar to draft 1. Because of that, I'll frankendraft next (select and combine drafts 1 and 2, rewrite to connect them) and afterwards I'll try something I've always wanted to. (Scrivener keeps hinting at it!) I'm gonna split the chapters into scenes, and focus on those individually and how I can just rewrite them and set their purpose in stone<3 I'm excited!

As for the chapter itself, gods, I love the atmosphere. Just the wreckage of a sundered ship, and Madigan’s sudden madman appearance making a lasting impression on Spica, because how could it not. They no longer answer distress calls in that age, it just means more dead bodies. In fact, they're forbidden to. Madigan instead brings him what he himself lacks: hope. And a lot of crawling around while dreading the Beast's lambent eye opening, and oh my, the moments are really flying by😈👏 extreme fun for me as the writer.

Aberration of Light

If you remember, the books follow two timelines, which will connect at some point. The first and main one is Madigan and Spica’s story. The other is Holloway’s, in the distant past of that universe, and who’s been dubbed the most selfish man in existence. That’s important, because of how the Beast came to be. But that becomes important later. For now, a weird-ass new recruit has joined the ship, and the witchy crew will very soon start making bets if she’s the Beast in human flesh, which really wouldn’t bode well for their future.

Night Falls On Their Reflection

Draft 2 became Spica’s draft. It was high time. He didn't exist in the original idea beyond chapter 2, but he refused to die with his story untold. And now he's one of the most independent thinkers I've ever written. Now he's Madigan's son (yes, even at 25), best friend, back-to-back partner all in one, and I could watch the trust and mutual respect between these two forever. To be sure: Madigan comes up with the dumbass plans, and Spica's only too happy to follow him through everything (it is good fun.)

He's repaying the incredible kindness Madigan's shown him when answering his distress call, after all.

But it goes a bit further than that, doesn't it? Madigan is used to watching over myriad people. He's the Superintendent of his planet, and while he genuinely loves people, kindness is his default. It doesn't go further than that for him. He doesn't necessarily think people need, much less desire his presence there beyond Madigan extending help, and most of the time, he's content with that. Kindness does make him happy. And it should be the same with Spica now, shouldn't it? He's kind, but he's not Spica's family, nor ever will be. Yet he immediately feels a connection with the boy, that has nothing to do with bonding over escaping-a-cosmic-disaster. And so does Spica.

This is the moment when Madigan starts feeling guilty, for stepping where he should not. But here's the beauty of Spica's character: he's nothing if not dead sure of his own feelings, and what he sees with his eyes. It's okay if Madigan keeps unexpectedly taking steps back. For very long, there'd been nobody to support Spica's beliefs. So he does the same, as when he followed his heart to go into dead space: he believes in himself and Madigan, and that their paths aren't meant to diverge. They mean too much to each other for that to ever happen.

(In short, and legend says you can still hear me screeching about these two ten thousand years later, I love these two so much, and especially the parallels between Spica going alone into outer space and loving Madigan.)

(And, okay, obviously all these developments don't happen in a single chapter, but I couldn't stop gushing🤭🥰.)

Who Puts These Tombs in Ice

Overall, I think draft 2’s Luitgart performed worse than draft 1. Mainly it's the setting I want to revert (still an icy, sempiternally dark hell, but with different ice constructions) because some of the beats are a huge improvement, and again, I gotta combine the two. Otherwise, I’m still as obsessed about the Luitgart arc as I’ve ever been, and huge thanks to it for being so strong it could function as an ending of its own, allowing me to split the book.

Gettin’ into spoilery territory, but I have to un-kill Madigan so many times it leaves me in hysterics. That was what I was supposed to fix this draft. It got worse. Considerably.

(One constant: the chapter being a love letter to Madigan, and how his first answer will always be to help the other, no matter if they deserve it or not<3 and finally, finally, he gets acknowledged for it, and the favor returned.)

ACT 2

Lemon-Dotted Days + Remnant

Two Holloway chapters! I’m actually massively pleased with how they’ve turned out. Last year, I said the main issue was that I had an outline, and that never works for me. So I did what I do best and rewrote everything from scratch, and the result is both uncanny and… unexpected.

Unexpected, because I never in my life thought Holloway’s voice would make me laugh so much. He’s supposed to be unsympathetic, but then you get his interactions with Saintlark (the new crewmate, possibly Beast) where they’re contemplating the harvest of a nebula, and he’s harshly critical of it, which gives Saintlark hope… only to go deadpan One Moment Later: if they’d used the nebula to prolong their lives instead of bolstering the war, they wouldn’t have died like clown idiots.

And, they could’ve maybe stolen immortality from the nebula. They would've had to share it with him, of course. Or he would've murdered them to get it.

That, my guys, is his personality in a nutshell.

I have a lot of feelings on Holloway now, and most involve me huffing and slapping my forehead while groaning, but oh my gods. Was it ever so fun. And wait, wait, wait. Since I'm talking of humor (apparently a lot of comedy fit into this horror lmfao) I have to show you guys the following section🤣🤣👏:

Corpse Snow

The drifters are set howling on the ice. They share glances, five separate vehicles nodding at each other. Madigan revs up the engine, splitting the air with a jet of steam and vibration.

The last of the marines are climbing into the box. A figure flashes past Madigan’s drifter — and he leans over, teeth grinding because of his ribs, and he does his very best to grab someone by the back of their suit and pull. Workout days were never his strength, though. He only succeeds in stopping them in the frost smoke.

It’s Spica dangling from his hand, expressionless.

Lieutenant Hahn instantly seizes on the situation. He throws Madigan a long, withering look. “Whatcha doing, Boss?” he asks softly, about to unhinge his jaw again.

Madigan nudges Spica into the drifter. “Picking up your boy.”

Spica gets the hint and deposits himself into the front seat, glancing from his father to his Superintendent. He seems to give up on whatever’s going on, and makes himself cozy in the frosty spot. And Madigan, of course, pretends not to notice Hahn’s drifter sliding closer.

“And you didn’t consider I might want to have my son with me?”

Madigan looks up and sighs. “Lieutenant, dear Lieutenant,” he starts pleadingly. “Why won’t you show some leniency to a poor, wounded man?”

Hahn’s drifter stops, summoning a breeze across the icy floor that gently rocks the other vehicle. His breathing distorts the comms with static. “And what exactly is my son right now?”

“My trusty navigator,” Madigan answers easily.

“Sir’s emotional walking stick?” Spica pipes in at the same time.

They both look over. Spica’s quietly turned to the navigation, as serene as daylight, seemingly oblivious to how Madigan's expression changes, lightning-fast. He quickly hides it under the guise of a polite mask, as the marines stir and turn their attention on them. They’re snickering.

Lieutenant Hahn throws up his hands, giving up on everything.

This is also the first 30k chapter I’ve ever written. It's everything I've ever wanted to do with ice.

Heart of the Void

The end of the book. Originally, it was the ending section to Corpse Snow, but since it already got so ungodly long, I chipped off that bit and I have to say I’m very happy with how it works as an epilogue! So it ends the frosty, weary journey, and I can’t see the two books as separate yet, but here we bid goodbye to the first.

Aberration of Sunlight♧♧♧

I did the unthinkable and created a fifth arc. This might not seem like much to you, but I was screaming bloody murder you guys😭😭😭. Sigh. It’s so sigh. For so long, AoS consisted of four clear-cut acts, but it was necessary. With the introduction of Sycamine, and making it two books, it was just needed. It’s still one of the worst things I’ve ever done because I was used to four😃💔

(The chapters continue from where RoaN left off – from chapter 10, to 21.)

ACT 3

Retro Spectrum

Sycamine, oh Sycamine. Definitely the break I needed before Days in Darkness. It made for a really neat beginning. It’s calmer, focusing on the knowledge they have on the Beast. It’s also a reflection on Procyon (their main star) and the story of the two straggler dog constellations, and what they'd been running away from. I liked the direction it took. It veered away from the Beast for a bit, so the tension kept expanding in the background. And when it returns, well... maybe they shouldn't have been so eager to see it again🤭.

It suffers from the same syndrome as draft 1’s first chapter… it’s there in the vicinity of the idea, but too much to the left. Not bad for a first attempt. The setting annoys me – I really don't enjoy writing cities, and AoS didn't change that. So, for our next try, I was thinking... maybe we don't need to be on the planet, but up close and veeery personal with it. It's a secret❤.

And, oh gods. I put a moustache-twirling villain in this. And then I couldn’t stop myself from naming some sucker Sweetman Calories. I don’t know what happened to me during those days, but I’m crying🤣🤣🤣.

Toast to the Light

Holloway and Saintlark’s story is slowly coming to an end. Unexpectedly bleaker than draft 1, yet it feels much more sincere. Holloway has a way of saying everything Saintlark needs to hear. No surprise. They did that to themselves.

Dissonant Recognition

Ahhhh, the Madigan-is-slowly-losing-his-grip-on-reality chapter, or maybe he should really stop staring into the suns. One of my favorites<3 Also because it features Moren (!!!) who has a blast staying in the grey morality area, because she doesn’t know if her actions could ever matter, or if she could change anything. Does she just exist? Is she a player or just pawn? Who knows. Besides that, she gets along great with Spica. They form such a teasing duo, the level of mutual respect they felt for each other on sight was a delight to write. My favorite ally of theirs, even if her destiny lies elsewhere.

Night Beneath the Elevator

Best title hands down, dethroning Solgesis. I’m going batshit crazy about the visuals, it's exactly my thing. This half-light slanted over an elevator waiting in a rundown basement to be boarded. And there's something underneath it, and always has been. Something insidiously creeping up and waving its tendril fingers at you as you're just waiting for the fucking thing to ascend. Immaculate, guys, I'm telling you, and I'm cursing my hands because I can't make a wallpaper of this. I want to eat that atmosphere.

Time-sensitive missions, y'all.

And why the heck did nobody inform me I was going to add Command as an actual character and have them talk with Madigan?! That entire convo, made up entirely on the spot but somehow with a direction, made me realize what an idiot I’d been for not doing it sooner. They mean so much to Madigan, after all.

(And Mariya. So much Mariya in these chapters.)

ACT 4

Loop System

Like Who Puts These Tombs in Ice, draft 1 might’ve done it better. Not Spica and Madigan, though, because of the sheer development Spica’s been through and the dynamic he’s managed to form with the crew. It's different from Madigan’s, but similar enough that it’s got Hahn commenting lightly: [Spica’s] picked up quite a few habits from Madigan, hasn’t he? Almost as if they’ve gotten very very close, huh? How about Madigan tell him more?

(I adore writing Hahn.)

Outreach

Another Holloway chapter. Doesn’t have the punch of the kids subplot from draft 1, but this just makes it worse for Saintlark personally, because, this time, the consequences are on her.

Days in Darkness

I knew the moment I first got the idea this would be my favorite chapter. Well, it finally happened in draft 2: when the entire crew is here, this time, and ready for the final countdown, to relive the experience of being trapped in a ship that's disintegrating. No more heroes left behind. I'd been so tired writing this chapter in draft 1, but this time around it was incredible. Everything went up sharply from here, both in terms of events and how on fire I was.

(Maybe less than the gorgon, but I was.)

ACT 5

Echo Terminal

The first of the two log chapters.

I've never written smoother, more visual chapters than in this period. Days in Darkness changed me so much, I was writing day and night by this point and couldn't get enough. Well, I hit my limit in the second half of the very last chapter, but I am beyond satisfied. Even the Beast's metamorphosis took me by storm, because I'd been wondering what the final verbs, the final images, the final design for it was going to be. I didn't expect it to come to me this early, and with such thrill. Those were my very best days of the year, and I toast to them.

(And I knew it was going to be fantastic when Halo's Warthog Run OST started blaring in my head, with as much adrenaline.)

Where, Now? + Solgesis

My beloved. The second and last of the two log chapters, but it’s Noelle Saintlark’s log.

Holloway’s timeline ends here. Or maybe it just gets carried into the future. I thought I’d want to rewrite his parts again, make the plot just a tiny bit more psychedelic and nonsensical because it’s so close to the Beast… but Solgesis put all my fears to rest. Even the formatting and layout is a bit of that special thing I’ve always wanted to try, and it really changes the perspective of the previous chapters. There's a new confession that stands at the heart of Holloway's stories.

Honestly, the only thing that needs urgent working on is the anger at the end of the chapter.

Anger is so hard for me to write sometimes. Not because I don’t connect with it, but because I feel self-conscious writing it. The wildest I felt it was when I tackled 'quiv's chapter 3 and Imera's Turning speech, both in quick succession (before I'd even written draft 1. I'd been taking notes.) Since then... I just thing back to how keenly I'd felt that anger, and I kind of intimidate myself out of it. Kind of like a natural resistence, I quench it from myself. Which is actually hilarious when you think about it. It’s like I’m going I BANISH THEE FROM MY BRAIN because generally, as a person, I dislike feeling and operating on anger. But no worries. I’m going to find a way around it.

Watch me😎.

What Goes Around…

(Now it’s the time for me to start crying some rivers, and, alright, it won’t be visible so I’ll say it: the chapter titles are holding a conversation, guys. They speak to each other. And sometimes it’s both sides of the same coin, like how What Goes Around (comes around) hints here. If you take two chapters, one from the beginning and one from the end (for example 1 and 21) it'll tell you a little secret. Okay, What Goes Around and Rain Through the Universe communicate through their plot, which I can’t spoil but of course it has to do with Madigan and Spica and how they first meet… but there is one title pair that does it best visibly.

Lemon-Dotted Days and Days in Darkness.

And I hadn’t even planned this. All the parallels I wanted to draw… I feel like they built themselves, guys. They really did, and it makes me so wildly happy I don’t even know how to stop my hands from flailing.

And, with them being 21 chapters, they meet in the middle, on the one unpaired chapter.

Called Toast to the Light.

I friggin’ love everything.

New Sunrise, Forget-Me-Right

Of course, Forget-Me-Right is a play on Scorpion Grass. But it’s also such a gentle name for the chapter, because everything ends here. Lying on their backs, staring out into the universe, and it really, really is over. Just a dark horizon on which stars flare and bloom. And suddenly, that maddened rush to make every sacrifice count, to remember every soul they’ve encountered because the legend says the Beast absorbs you when it kills you – all that suffocating pressure dissipates. Lightness remains. Because they’ve protected each other.

For the first time in my writing journey, blood rushed to my head with such emotion I had to stop writing, which never happens. I had to look up and exclaim, holy fuck. But how could I not, considering how the story ends for the Beast? I am speechless. A lot of gorgeous surprises this draft.

Conclusion□●□

Whew, what a year it's been! As for how 2024 will probably look like, though I don't like making plans: finishing the beta stage for 'quiv, and tackling RoaN and AoS's draft 3. Thaaaat one I'm actually starting on Christmas, when I can (finally!!) reread draft 2 with my mug of hot cocoa (or maybe mulled wine for a change) and, no surprises here, I'm hyper stoked for that<3 <3 <3 I legit can't wait to see where the new draft brings them. I might not have set any expectations for them, but they're vying to keep up with 'quiv and I adore it🤭❤

As for my lovely friends... well, you know by how I spam your tags how much I adore you and wish you happiness forever🤩🥺🥳 I don't know what my activity will look like in the near future, so for now I won't be saying anything, and my semi-hiatus continues. Semi, because you're unforgettable and I crave to see what everyone's been up to and (!!!!) what you've written!

So let's meet in 2024 again, and all the best wishes to you, the reader🥰🥂❤.

#ayearofwriting #2023 #aquiver-aglow #aberration of sunlight

61 notes · View notes

heartfullofleeches · 11 months

Text

Zombie God Reader-

Dazed and barely conscious, you wake up after going to a party you didn't even want to attend with a killer headache - and your teeth on the floor. You scramble to the bathroom, come to find that every denture was still in place. A voice in the back of your skull mocks your panic. Just what did you take last night? As the evening's events unfold, you learn that everyone at that party is either dead or missing. That "voice" is the remnants of a decaying God who's blood you consumed from an infected glass of bunch. It tells you the only know cure is to eat another humans flesh, and that's only temporary. You have the choice of clinging to what little humanity you have left by commenting one of the most heinous acts known or giving your body and mind to this ancient deity. Your thoughts deteriorate by the day and you... wait....what are you eating? it hurts..stop that. STOP-

Who would've guessed your terrible diet would be the one force capable of stoping a world ending horror from devouring your brain?

You're eventually scouted out by the cult members at that party. They commend you for holding on this long, but you'll succumb soon enough. They always do. Unfortunately, none of the other candidates they've chosen have survived or kept as much of a physical form as you. Was your will that strong to resist their lord's presence and influence like that? They plan to kidnap you to see how your brain works. Maybe you will be the only host they need. As luck would go, they try to capture you on one of your off days. You ambush their leader and beat them half to death. They're uncaring of their fate as someone else will take their role. Your teeth close around their neck and.... And...

"...nh...n...o."

No. You climb off their battered body and tied your jacket around their twisted ankle before sprinting off. The others ask what happened and they..don't know. They watch you closer. You become something else in their eyes. A survivor. A fighter. You are not their god. You are its rebirth - killing off the disease that was once their idol. They band their members to praise you as you are and slaughter those who oppose. They offer you home cooked meals with bits of their flesh and blood baked inside to help you in your battle. They sneak micro doses of the god's cells to further your ascension. You just want to go home and eat fast food and nearly expired goods from cans.

Crackpost under cut

[Zombie God Reader being held at bay by three cult members when a fourth runs up to them with a severed arm in their hands. Reader kicks them square in the face and flails around like a bat out of hell]

Yan Cultist: What in the nine circles are you doing? We don't do that shit anymore! When you kill someone for our master, you throw the body away! Hurry up and get some frozen pizzas. We can't hold them off much longer.

Dying God: Help me, my child. Once I am reborn, I can make your wildness dreams a reality.

Yan Cultist, staring at Reader wearing a muzzle as rabid foam drips from their mouth as they snarl: Believe me.... They already are.

"What can I get you today?!"

Dying God: Flesh.

Zombie God Reader: burger

Dying God: Human Flesh, you moron!

Zombie God Reader: Three burgers

#yandere x reader #yandere imagines #yandere x you #yandere headcanons #yandere scenarios #yandere insert #yandere #yandere blurb #yandere oc #zombie reader #yandere concept #yandere cult #tw yandere

365 notes · View notes

agust-june · 4 months

Text

Let's talk about KIM DOYOUNG...

I just came here to say if I CATCH yall defending Doyoung out here it's blocked on fucking site. I need yall Ncitzens and Kpop stans to STAND THE FUCK UP.

Out here posting pictures of ugly ass snowmen with MCDONALDS BS. GFTOFH. I saw this yesterday but Koreaboo pissed me off and these tweets of these fucking weirdos made me mad. So imma talk about it here.

Imma post screen shots of tweets and for those of you that are clearly not assholes or not delusional, let's point and laugh.

Fuck the first tweet bc though he is not supposed to be making political statement. That's what he's doing. And I will drop that man like a trash bag into the dumpster. The SECOND TWEET FUCK KIM DOYOUNG'S FEELINGS. Fuck him what about the feelings of the Palestinian fans that he has? What about the people you are actively dying from bombs? starvation? Dehydration? What about them? Out here actively making SNOW MEN using McDonald's shit FUCK HIM. AND FUCK YOU TOO WEIRD ASS BITCH.

The first tweet here. It's not about his family or friends. Doyoung is in the public posting pictures of McDonald's snowmen. He's fucking weird. And if we find out about his family and Friends they can get the smoke too. They ain't special. The last tweet on the bottom...yall spend too much online into kpop. I need people to be educated and up-to-date in the world bc what do you mean does that country exists??? I need people to WAKE UP GO TO FUCKING SCHOOL OR GET HOBBIES OUTSIDE OF KPOP PLEASE AND THANK YOU.

We knew SM wasn't shit. We knew. Doyoung, I am not shocked he's in SM. I like to give people chances but once you fuck up you fuck up. And THIS??? Oh baby you lucky SM needs you for they check which is why I will not be supporting Doyoung and I will give you the Wendy treatment bye bitch.

Hell isn't hot enough. That's all imma say.

On that note, I want to add that as a K-pop fan and Ncitizen, I am greatly disappointed, but I am not surprised. I had a FEELING someone in NCT was gonna do this bs. For once, I was hoping to be proven wrong. But that hoes to show you... we don't know these groups. He isn't the only one supporting these companies. Other idols are, too.

Here's some links to other idols

I also want to note that I will be taking my Doyoung post down even though it had Johnny in it. I'm clutching my pearls like a southern white woman and leaving. I can't get rid of the merch I bought, especially my DoJaeJung albums, but I won't be buying anymore. I understand some of these idols are under contract. For example, New Jeans they have a contract with Coca-Cola, and they just had a meal with McDonald's. That I completely understand. But ACTIVELY spending money to McDonald's and Starbucks and posting it!?!? Nah, you gotta go. Idc who you are. I don't care you have godly teir vocals you're done. It's not that hard to TRY to do something good. I am actively avoiding Starbucks, McDonald's, actively staying up to date on what's going on in the world. It's not just Palestine. It's Congo. Sudan. Yemen. If I can do all of that work a job. Go to school. Watch One Piece (an anime that actively talks about corrupt governments, genocide, war, propaganda, etc). Kim fucking Doyoung and other kpop idols can do it too. They just don't care and want to keep rolling their checks (he probably need to with that pocket change he probably getting). I AM BEGGING yall K-pop stans who still don't get it to STAND UP. Get a life. Read a fucking book. Because yall look dumb as hell, and I'm sorry, but my EGO MY PRIDE will not allow me to be dumb and continue to turn a blind eye when I know people are dying in a genocide. And for those of you saying "well just educate the idol." Baby, there's a reason why college is for adults, and it's not a mandatory if grown adults want to make the choice to learn they'll do it. These idols are GROWN it's not my job to educate adults who are older than me, and it shouldn't be your job either, especially FOR FREE.

I hope yall have a good day today, and I hope yall stay safe out there!

#black kpop stans #nct 127 #kim doyoung smut #june talks #dojaejung #doyoung nct

69 notes · View notes

accio-sriracha · 4 months

Text

Fight Me - Drarry Micro-fic :)

~~~♤~~~

"Oi, Potter!" Draco called, a smile on his face. He had been trying to goad Potter into an argument for nearly two weeks, he was yet to be successful.

Potter turned, stopping halfway to the Gryffindor table, "Yes, Malfoy?" He asked, his tone resigned.

"Have you heard the news lately? Everyone says that their precious Golden Boy's lost his touch." Draco came to a stop a foot away from him, "That true?"

Potter only closed his eyes, scratching the back of his head, "Did you need something, Malfoy?" He asked. Draco rolled his eyes,

"Obviously an answer to the question I just asked you. Now tell me. Is it true?"

Potter shook his head, his sigh deep, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Of course you do. It's all over the news! Some people are starting to think you can't even do magic anymore."

"Of course I can." Potter replied, his tone detached.

"Prove it." Draco lifted his chin up, sure he was going to get his way this time.

"I'm not going to fight with you, Malfoy." He replied, turning to walk away. Draco caught him by the arm,

"The hell you aren't!" He called, giving him a small shove to the shoulder, "Fight me." He called again, "You know you want to, Potter. I know you're dying to let off steam. Well? Here I am. Fight me."

Potter only shook his head, the eyes Draco had always seen so full of fire had finally gone out,

"People died, Malfoy, don't you get that?" He asked, his voice quiet, "I don't care about our stupid rivalry anymore. It's not worth it."

"News flash, Potter. You're living in a tragedy. You want a spoiler? Everyone dies in the end. You may be one of the greatest wizards ever known, but you can't stop that fact. You can't save everyone. How's that for fucking magic? So stop hiding your tail between your legs and stand up for yourself! You're Harry fucking Potter! Don't just sit there and take it, you need to fight back!"

He knew he was being harsh, but he couldn't stand seeing Potter like this. So lifeless and... empty. He wanted to shake Potter senseless and tell him to snap out of it.

"Don't you get it? Don't you understand just how much they would kill to see you fall? Stand up for yourself for fucks sake, Potter!"

"You're causing a scene." He whispered.

Draco scoffed, "Like you ever gave a damn about who was watching you."

"I do." Potter's eyes flashed with hurt for just a moment, "I always have."

Draco tried to stop the joy that spread through him. He didn’t want to hurt Potter, but it was something. That flicker was more emotion then Draco had seen on his face in over a year.

"Then show them." Draco whispered, stepping closer, taking his chance, "None of them understand. None of them understand the violence, the pain, that it took for you to be this calm. You are not the type to stand still and take it quietly. Do something...Show them you're still just as powerful as you always were. Show them you're still the boy who lived."

He paused, staring at him with the expression he knew always pushed Potter over the edge before,

"Unless you really have lost it." He said, raising an eyebrow, "The rumors are probably true, you've gone soft, Potter. Too good now, aren't you? Dumbledore's perfect little golden boy. The world's hero, above all of us measley humans. You couldn't even hurt me if you tried, could y-"

His words were cut off as Potter yanked out his wand and held it against Draco's throat. Wild fury filled Potter's eyes and Draco did his best not to smile. He'd done it. He finally managed to get Potter riled up again the way that he used to.

He hated seeing the way he dragged himself around the castle, the dark circles under his eyes and the quiet, serious voice. He missed watching Potter laugh with his friends across the Great Hall, hearing the passion in his tone as he hurled an insult back at Draco. He missed Potter's fire.

"You know what, Malfoy? I don't give a damn who you think I am, or what kind of noble savior you all expect me to be. I could tear you apart if I wanted to!" He shouted, pressing his wand harder until it hurt for Draco to breathe. His fist was clenched around Draco's robes. There were collective gasps around the Great Hall.

Nobody had expected him to suddenly react the way he did, but Draco did, he had hoped for it.

"I could be exactly like him and there is nobody who would be able to stop me." Potter spat.

Draco gave a harsh laugh, his head tilting up when the wand pushed further, "But you won't. Why is that Potter? Why is it that you can't hurt me? Go on. Say it! You can't hurt me, Potter, and you know it."

"I'm not scared of you, Malfoy." He hissed. Draco raised an eyebrow,

"Bullshit!" He called. Potter spun them and pushed him against the wall,

"I died. Nothing scares me anymore. Especially not you."

"You're lying. I can see how terrified you are. Admit it to yourself!"

"What do you want from me?!" Potter shouted, his voice echoing in the now silent room.

"I want you to live Potter." Draco whispered, hoarse now, "I want you back the way you were, before the war. You don't eat anymore, you don't sleep. I haven't heard you speak in weeks. I want you to be a person again."

"I am a person." His voice dropped too, his resolve following with it.

"Tell that to them. You let them push you around, you let them walk all over you. I'm tired of seeing you not standing up for yourself."

Potter opened his mouth to reply, then slowly shut it again, the force pressed to Draco's throat softened slightly, "Why do you care?" He asked instead.

"You know why."

Potter stared silently at him for a long time before lowering his wand completely, "I'm sorry." He muttered, looking down. Draco shook his head,

"Don't you dare apologize. You want to do something for me? Pick yourself up. Stop sulking around the castle like some nobody. You're Harry fucking Potter. If I ever see you let them treat you like shit again I'll kick your arse for real."

Their eyes met, an intensity like Draco had never felt before passing between them.

Harry pushed off the wall, leaving Draco standing there alone, he walked out of the Great Hall, ignoring everyone staring at them.

Pansy walked up to Draco, her eyes darting around the room, "What the hell was that? Are you okay?" She whispered.

He nodded and turned to walk out after Potter without a word.

~~~♤~~~

#harry potter #draco malfoy #drarry #harry x draco #draco x harry #drarry drabble #drarry microfic #drarry angst #angst

67 notes · View notes

fountainpenguin · 6 months

Text

#Riddle Watches Traffic - Secret Life Session 4 POVs - This post contains Joel, Grian, Etho, Martyn, and Scar commentary

Joel POV (My first POV for this session):

Joel, the ex-Shrek, running around dropping lines from "All Star" in conversation is everything I could have wanted.

Joel: If you were a color, what color would you be? Pearl: Red.

Can't argue with that.

Lizzie: You like my path? Joel: I do. Is it going to link up with mine? Lizzie: We've got connecting paths now. Joel: I didn't realize we were that close. Lizzie: To touch paths. Joel: I know we're married, but come on... It's getting a bit crazy now.

slkdjf Joel really does not want to be touchy-feely with anyone this season huh?

Okay I switched to Grian's POV because Joel came up to the rest of the Mounders and they were all giggling and telling him to go talk to Grian, so swapping my liveblog over:

Grian POV

?? Grian's task was to bait a yellow into believing his task was singing everything he says, that feels kinda unfair to the yellows because it doesn't give them a way to call him on it, does it? slkdjf

That is really funny he needs to get someone to call him out in order to succeed, though.

Grian's really good at like, recapping and/or giving context (like pulling up his screen to walk the audience through exactly who the Yellows on the server are). Thanks G.

sldkfjs Scar singing back to Grian... They are soulmates, your honor.

Cleo, trying not to bust up laughing: How long do you have to sing for? Grian, singing: I don't have to sing! It's a choice~!

Grian chasing people and singing while they run sdlkfjsd... Mumbo like "Please stop following me! I don't want to deal with your singing anymore!"

sldkfjsd can we make a reaction clip out of Grian sadly singing, "I am mortally wounded~"

Grian is SO GOOD at this baiting game, though. Despite needing to get a yellow to guess his task, he takes off running as soon as Joel shows up, then when Joel starts talking to him he clams up. Master of manipulation; what a deLIGHT!

sldkfjs the hilarity of Joel smugly calling Grian out and then Grian takes out his book, sighs loudly, and trots off to the Secret Keeper... and hits success instead of fail. omg.

Joel immediately adding "My world's on fire; how 'bout yours?"

Grian: "You are all terrible friends and that's what I needed <3"

lskdjfsdk Scar being like "Wait, that was your task? I thought we were just being musical." Your honor, they are soulmates.

Does... does Etho have my "reference previous seasons / fake moment from previous series" task suggestion?

Switching back to Joel:

slkdfjsldkjfksdl in Joel's POV, there's a bit of lag so when Joel confronts Grian, Grian suddenly bolts across the bridge at light speed and it's hilarious.

Switching to Etho because dying of curiosity:

Etho making cute benches outside his shack.

Cleo: Oh, there there... I was going to pat you, but then I realized... Etho: Pat me with a sword? Clean slice through the head?

sdklfjsdfj househusband Etho strikes again?? Cleo accidentally whacks him with a sword and he immediately spins around like "I'm sorry- I'll do the dishes, I'll do whatever you want! No more, no more!" Love that for him.

Love how Etho said "Aha" after looking at his task even though he hadn't even received that suggestion yet.

You nerds really gonna be like "Etho and I aren't romantic" and "We're besties" and then put a single bed inside your house, huh? What am I supposed to do with that.

?????? Martyn giving Etho the assignment of gaslighting someone into believing a fake moment from the previous series? Does Martyn have my suggested task or did we just same brain on that one? lol.

[More liveblogging under the cut <3 #Long post]

Switching over to Martyn POV because curious:

skdlfj wow Martyn's video is super loud after coming from Etho's. Just gonna turn my sound down there.

??? Martyn does not have my suggestion so I guess he and I just had the same brain wave. Alas. Here were some suggestions I put in Tango's Session 3 comments, for anyone curious:

Reference events from past Life series at least 4 times in conversation with other players (Ex: "This reminds me of that one boogeyman kill in Last Life; remember when X happened?") - [Some ideas that come to mind are that it would be funny to pester players who missed seasons by lightheartedly teasing them about events they weren't around for]

Alternatively: Convince at least 2 players that a falsified event happened in Secret Life or a past Life series [Ex: "Haven't you seen the fanart of this? I'll send it to you later." / "Remember, we were all there? Oh, you didn't play in that series; I guess you wouldn't know."]

?? They took the world border out of the Nether. Untapped escape routes in Hell.

I appreciate "mayor" Scar chasing the Big Dogs away and telling them he was going to send them to the pound.

(Loud sigh). Scar upset with Martyn for peeing on (dumping water on) his base. Martyn is running amok. Unrestrained.

slkdjf Martyn admitting he had read a lot of tasks in the past week and was thinking he'd probably end up taking someone else's idea. Y'know what, good enough for me. Whether we same brained or he read that, I'm satisfied. Also Etho saying "Martyn, you should write tasks because that's a great idea." I'll take it, slkdfj.

Watched a few minutes more of Martyn, he's talking with Joel and I have nothing to say atm, switching back to Joel:

Joel so sad when his cows get loose.

I appreciate how Martyn allowed Etho to buy his silence but then he runs to Joel and starts dropping hints.

slkdjfs Joel nailed his lyrics, good for him.

Joel working on his farms before pressing the success button is mildly stressing me out. (Oh, he was waiting for safe day).

sldkfj Etho giving Joel a chance to take a guess at him and Joel phrasing his words specifically as "Was your goal to bait a yellow into guessing you're saying 'Aha?'"

I always admire Joel's commitment to getting the right colored resources, especially wood. He takes so much pride in his builds even in the deathgame.

One of my other task suggestions was to break game rules for part of the session and I used the example of wearing a helmet. If Scar has that task, that will be quite funny. He's being super sus about that helmet and even talking like "I can take it off! I'll take it off right now" which would line up with my 50% of the session suggestion. I'll have to check on him next.

Gem's Yellow life heterochromia.

lskdjfslkjdf Boat Boys, my beloved...

Etho, parking a boat and making eye contact: Joel. Get in. Joel: The fandom's gonna go crazy, Etho. We can't do this. Etho: We're reliving the past, Joel, right now. Remember the good old days, just me and you? Joel: I do. The Relation ship. Etho: Riding the boats? Etho: ... Back when you cared about me.

skdjf I had to pause to start writing that and it really does just keep going, huh?

Joel: I still care, Etho. It's just... Etho: You still care? We hardly see each other anymore. Joel: I know, I know, but that's because I'm with the Mounders now. Etho: Well, this is where the relationship ends.

What is in Etho's Secret Life water; he is SO clingy and mushy with Joel every episode.

Joel calling Scar out for breaking the rules... is this my task, I am so curious.

Kind of surreal watching this play out. Definitely picking up the vibe that the players screened tasks together before putting them in and so they've got "rule breaker" as a possible option in their minds and that's why they're so quick to jump in and call Scar out on that TODAY despite the fact that he was also breaking rules in previous episodes. Very curious.

Martyn's calling a meeting, seems like a good time to pop over and check on Scar's task. Episode title is him calling himself a server villain so it might not be my task, but that's very funny anyway. Let's see.

Alas... It is not my "Break the rules for 50% of the episode" task suggestion, but the task he does have is really clever (Do the opposite of what people tell you to do).

Gonna bounce back to Joel and finish his episode and return to Scar later, but that will be a fun watch <3 Still getting the vibe that they screened my task ideas and maybe we will see it another day. We shall see.

I like the mental image of Scott looking up, covered in mud and dirt, as the Task Force comes barreling over the hill like "We caught you mud-handed!!"

Also enjoy the mental image of Joel catching Gem at the bottom of his water slide.

Joel @ Gem about The End: How come they went? I wouldn't go. Gem: idk, bunch of improv nerds. They just kept saying 'Yes.'

Yeah that tracks.

Gem: I just saved you a heart. I don't think I have to give you one.

I love how Joel is always like "Everybody likes me because I'm really popular." Like that's his actual dialogue. He's so fun to write and it's always funny to remember that he really is just Like That.

Congrats to Joel for finishing a nice fence around his base, lighting it up, and chopping down the trees to prevent skeleton spawning! He's doing pretty well this season.

MARTYN FIRST RED... He fell out of the world. what an idiot /affectionate.

Jimmy too... Jimmy. Jimmy, my man who has been out first four seasons in a row... is also on red life now... Jimmy, you are playing a DANGEROUS game.

Done with Joel's POV, switching to Grian's (after leaving a nice comment and a like on his video ofc <3)

Grian: The reds work slightly differently, but I'll explain that when we get our first red. Me: ... ah.

It's fun to see how careful and skilled Grian is. He's been a very high-heart green name for several episodes and it gives me 3rd Life vibes again.

That said, he lost a bunch in the caves... but I get why, gotta do the mining. Oh geez, zombie kid with a sword hits hard. Ouch.

Loving his dramatic music, though. It was interesting a few months ago when I went back and started binging some early Hermitcraft episodes, because you never appreciate the skill these guys have with subtle music until you compare them to their older videos which feel more awkward and empty. gg.

Holy GEEZ, Grian's dropping hearts like mad. Also watching him panic as his hunger meter drops because he's out of food is super funny. Yeah, that'll kill you.

Grian Session 4 would be a good early watch with that kind of tension... Also I love him limping into his base and devouring berry after berry.

Scar unable to take off his helmet because everyone keeps going "?? Take off your helmet!" and he can't.

The hilarity of:

Grian: Can I use your enchantment table? Scar: YES! ... Wait........ Grian: /turns around Scar: Noooo... Grian: /cracks up

Scar indicating he's okay with Grian using the table by using a sarcastic sing-songy voice to tell him it would be a bad idea to use it skldfj

Scar following Grian's instructions but doing so with a delay while Grian stands there confused sdlkfj

Grian: Scar said I could use it! How else would I know you had it? Cleo: ?? Why would Scar be in charge of our enchanter? Grian: ??? He said it was his??

Etho telling Grian to give his heart to Cleo slkdjf. Etho just really wants to be affectionate to someone.

Grian: What do I have to do to be friends? I hate living in that egg.

lskdjf obsessed with the besties roommates getting a third wheel roommate who brings them golden carrots.

Etho: You've been burning down your bases every episode. One rule: If you move into ours, you're not allowed to burn it down.

<3 Builder roommate!!

slkdfjsk they outsourced the bed shrine to Grian.

Etho: Cleo, you're really going to get along with Grian. He likes burning things too.

Obsessed with Grian asking why Etho waterlogged his chests and when Etho explains it's to prevent TNT damage, Grian just pauses and goes "I have made the right choice." sldkfj. Grian and Etho and Cleo team up! Very exciting; what will they do?

Grian asking Scar if he's okay and Scar saying "I'm neutral." skldjf. Scar is so good at this.

Loving Grian going to visit BigB for his obligatory "let's find out what weird stuff he's doing" commitment (and dragging Scar after him).

slkdjfskldj wheezing:

Grian: Why is Tango hanging around? Mumbo: ??? That's a bit rude? Someone partaking in a conversation and you're like "Why are you here?"

Watching Martyn eyeballing The End advancements in the chat while I know he's this close to dying from jumping in The End is stressing me out.

Mumbo: Grian, let's play a game. You stop. Grian: /stops Mumbo: /takes off running

And there go Martyn and Jimmy...

?? How interesting that red lives can't immediately PVP other players, but that's hilarious that they're supposed to have a never-ending chain of harmful tasks to complete. POV, you get possessed by a bunch of spirits who don't want to release your body. Time to add that to my Secret Life 'fic collection...

Grian's POV is done, going to leave him his like and comment, quickly wrap up these recaps, and sign off for the night.

Etho time:

Coming back in to Martyn's gaslighting suggestion... picking up what Etho does from here. sldkfj that really is my task he suggested, but Etho interpreted it differently. Fun to watch though. Also hilarious that Etho started claiming he came up with the Aha bit. sldkfj. Everyone in this series is nuts.

Shout out to Bdubs: "I want to be Yellow just for the barks."

slkdfj love Jimmy pointing out that in Last Life everyone was cracking up over Aha jokes but now everyone is just sighing at Etho.

Etho possessed by dead Southlander ghost :(

I like Etho asking if Grian wants a bread bridge because it really does sound like he's just bringing up "dead memes."

wheezing at Bdubs like "Wow, someone made the whole world in this short of a time?" and Scott jumps in like "Only a Bad Boy could do that." slkdfjlsdjf

Martyn: I meant something else but :'D (GG)

slkdfjsdljfskl screaming at BigB like "I forgot I was supposed to report to the Heart Foundation."

Etho: I'm a horse girl too. Cleo: I mean, that's what I call Bdubs.

lskdjfsldkjf Impulse jumpscare. Haven't seen him show up in any of my POVs yet. Will probably circle back to him later this weekend.

That wraps up Etho's POV, switching over... I have been watching Minecraft for like 3 hours straight.

Bdubs in Etho's comments launching a "formal complaint" against Etho sldkjfs. That's friendship.

Speedwatching Martyn and then Scar and then we rest.

Picking up 15 minutes into Martyn's episode:

Joel, about his wife: Oh, Lizzie. I forgot her. Not like she's an important part of my life or anything. Martyn: Old news, old news. Separation of work and life.

I do find it funny that Etho was bouncing around like "Joel, want to take a shot at me?"

The "Scar never stood trial" screen is cracking me up.

Again, RIP Scar unable to take off his helmet because everyone kept telling him too slkdjf.

I love Martyn and Pearl going back and forth like "You just told me to give my base a big butt and then walked off."

Martyn: I'm waiting to hand in my task in case I lose hearts so I can recover. Curse of knowledge: ...

<3 Pretty Heart Foundation cherry blossom heart and cool globe in the background.

sldkjf Impulse urging everyone to gift Skizz hearts. The guilt. They are BFFs, your honor.

Martyn's dramatic music while Scar takes off running slkdjf.

Big brain move by Martyn for swiping Mumbo's horse while sussing out his task.

Welp, this is as far as I got before someone came in and pulled me from my computer, which of course restarted in my absence and closed all my many incognito tabs with my videos :') Ugh. Thank goodness for auto-saved drafts though or I would have lost this after 3 hours of watching.

Posting now and if I have anything more to say about Martyn or Scar, I'll do so in another post!

77 notes · View notes

the-kr8tor · 5 months

Text

Severing Ties

<<< PART III

You choose to break the cycle despite your human need to live.

The berry tastes sweet, you would've thought it to be a regular fruit if not for the bitterness swimming in your tongue in a cruel aftertaste. You let it coat your mouth.

Sobbing, you gather enough strength from the growing numbness in your muscles to prop yourself up on the edge of the table. Finding more of the deadly belladonnas sitting perfectly still. You take more, and more, until there's a handful inside your mouth. Your muscles shake, eye blurry not from the tears. There's a growing fever in your bones.

You manage to sit on Hobie’s chair, lethargy in your whole body, heart beating faster and faster. Heat from the poison enhances the pain from your wounds. Sweat doesn't cling to your skin even with the searing fever.

You can't feel your tongue anymore.

There's panicked hands roaming your face, convulsions rocking your entire body. Your muscles twitch involuntarily.

“It's alright,” Hobie softly says, holding your body close to his, cradling your head on his chest.

You can't feel the grass underneath you.

You'd think you're hallucinating, but with a heavy kiss on the crown of your head you know you're not.

“Hobie” your words are a slurry inside your mouth.

“Shh” he rocks you gently, tears collect on your head like rain.

You feel the stickiness from the black blood on his side. But he doesn't seem to care with you in his arms. Hobie's been in the same situation a thousand times before but it has never felt this way, knowing this is your last goodbye.

You forget you're dying for a brief beautiful moment.

“I'm right here with you” Hobie knew that this would happen, that you'd choose to cut the ties binding you to this realm, that you'd fight fate herself. “You'll be—” he can't say the word, because he can't lie, especially to you.

“I-I wish I could tell you my name” with broken fingers, you cup his neck, just on his thumping pulse.

He's afraid.

“Don't” Hobie kisses your temple, once “don't” twice.

“After this,” you wheeze. “P-please, forget me. You have to forget me”

“I can't, if I i did I wouldn't remember who I am”

He leans away, you could only see his silhouette, it's enough to bring a smile to your lips.

“Always so stubborn”

With an exhale, you succumb to the poison.

The wheel now lay broken with Hobie gripping you tightly. Thread cut in the middle. He felt you leave.

The woods claim another life.

Would it be wrong for him to think that you should've stayed? He always thought you'd one day choose this, but does it have to be so painful for you?

Hobie was always ready for you to go but it doesn't mean it hurt him less, he knows you well enough that you'd understand and for the sake of the both of you, end the chains of burden that has connected you with him for centuries.

Gone are the days of him waiting for another you to wander back to the woods. Gone are the days of him eventually falling for you. You're gone, you left no trace of you, or your love for him except for your corpse that's barely recognizable under your injuries and an imprint of your soul forever in him.

Your paths will never cross again.

It's been days since your final death, his grief turned into fury. Anger that stays in his guts, residing there until its hunger is satiated. Compelled to hurt the being that brought you through the pain and sorrow of living a thousand lifetimes only for you to fall for him over and over again, and to die the most painful ways in the end of the cycle.

Fate is cruel, but nothing is more cruel than a lover scorned.

As Hobie lays you down on a field of flowers you've once named yourself after, he leaves one final kiss over your cold cheek. He stands up with one last look over to your corpse, feeling you stand beside him like always, but he finds an empty space.

A space where your soul should be.

The fire inside him rages, turning around to face the dilapidated arch, he hungers for revenge.

54 notes · View notes

simp4thedemonbros · 2 years

Text

MC feels sick and loses their appetite.

Heyyoo. I really struggled with the younger brothers but sometimes you just gotta take a step back and say it is what it is.

I wrote a lot of these on my breaks at work so if it doesn’t make sense I apologise. (I work night shifts so I am out of my mind 90% of the time lmao)

Requests always open

pls enjoy my loves :)

_____________

Pairing: Brothers x gn!MC

Word Count: 2697

______________

All day you had been feeling off, not quite right, but not exactly sick either. Run down was probably the best way to describe it. You had attended all your classes and participated as much as usual, and all your responsibilities were complete on time. No one would ever tell from first glance that you didn't feel great. Hell, who knew if you were even aware of it until you were sitting in the dining room of the House of Lamentation staring at your full plate, stomach twisting at the sight of the food. You tried your best to eat, but you were more or less just pushing food around the plate with your fork.

Lucifer

Of course Lucifer was immediately on your case, have you met the man?

"MC? Is there something wrong with your food?" His voice echoes with concern for you and your wellbeing.

"Yeah. It's good, thanks." Your reply obviously doesn't convince him, but for now he wont press further. He will simply wait until dinner is over and his brothers have left the table. Asking you to stay behind for a chat isn't exactly uncommon for him anyways.

"MC… is everything okay? You barely touched your food. You need to eat, you know." It sounds like he's scolding you, but he's doing it out of love.

You can't exactly lie to him now. Well, actually you could, but it's probably not a good idea, and you don't exactly have the energy to deal with a lecture about lying right now.

"I just don't feel that great, and I don't feel that hungry right now." Your voice is gentle, you just want to crawl into bed.

Before you know it a gloved hand is on your forehead. Lucifer's eyes are laced with worry. After checking your forehead his hand falls down to hold your cheek softly in his palm. "You indeed seem to have a temperature, go to bed immediately."

Finally. You've wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed all day so you don't complain. Before you know it you're in bed and out like a light.

Little do you know all through the night Lucifer is in and out of your room. At first he comes to see if your temperature has gone down. Then he brings you a glass of water. After that, some small snacks for you to eat when you wake up, considering you barely ate dinner. Then he has to make sure his brothers aren't bothering you. Is he looking for excuses to stay by your side?? Of course, but he would never admit it.

Mammon

Mammon was on cooking duty today. He would obviously never admit it, but he tried extra hard to make sure he had cooked something everyone (especially you) would enjoy.

His face drops as soon as he sees what you're doing with the food on your plate. Why aren't you enjoying what he's made? He isn't that bad at cooking...right?

No, of course he isn't. He's The Great Mammon™. He is the best at everything he does, of course he's a great chef. Your human taste buds just aren't developed enough to appreciate good Devildom cuisine.

As dinner goes on he gets more and more worried. It's not even about his cooking anymore, he's just worried about you.

He follows you after dinner is over and basically jumps on top of you ready to discover what's wrong. "Oi, human! What was wrong with your food?!"

You knew he'd done the cooking tonight, and that made you feel even worse. "I just really don't feel that great today."

Why didn't you tell him earlier?! Now he's panicking. Are you dying? How often do humans need to eat before starving to death? What if you can never stomach food again?! How are you so calm about this?!

You have to calm him down and reassure him you're not dying, just a little under the weather. You just need some rest and peace and quiet.

Mammon sits in front of your door all night long. He's there for whatever you need, even if you don't say a word. Water? He's already got it. An extra pillow? He stole it from one of his brother's rooms just for you. A snack? He's straight to the fridge.

Honestly it's quite hard to get any rest with him constantly opening your door to check on you, but at least you know you have everything you need. You are his number 1 after all.

Leviathan

You'd made a plan to play the new co-op game that Levi received from Akuzon with him after dinner, you weren't feeling fantastic but you'd be damned if you were going to let him down, he'd been looking forward to it all month.

He was so excited about it that nobody could get a word in at dinner anyway, and so nobody had noticed that you had barely touched your food, and honestly you were pretty thankful about it. You really didn't need any of the brothers on your case.

He practically dragged you to his room after dinner was over talking non-stop about how amazing the new graphics were and how the story had received such phenomenal reviews. Only when he had put the new game card into the system and handed you the controller did he realise you weren't as excited as he expected.

"MC? Are you alright?? You haven't said anything, have I said something wrong? Do you not want to play games with me anymore?" He was bombarding you with questions. You knew he meant well, but honestly it was all getting to be far too much to handle.

"I just really don't feel great. I don't want to let you down though. I know you've been excited to play this game with me. Let's start." Your voice was low and strained, but you were determined to keep the self-proclaimed okatu happy. However, you were very obviously run down and under the weather. Levi's face visibly softened at your confession, relieved you weren't sick of him.

"MC, you don't have to play this with me right now if you don't want to, it's okay if you aren't feeling great." Obviously he was sincere, but his disappointment was evident.

You insisted on playing the game with him, but it didn't take long for you to fall into a deep sleep in the chair next to his, and of course it also didn't take Levi long to realise either considering suddenly your character was actively running into a wall with no sign of stopping.

He found it pretty funny to be honest, although he realised pretty quickly he couldn't rouse you from your sleep.

He grabbed you a blanket and wrapped you up as best as he could. Although it wasn't out of the norm for Levi to be up all night he took extra care in making sure he wasn't screaming too loud when he lost a game and ensuring the volume of his games weren't too high to make sure you were comfortable through the night.

He was definitely losing his mind at the fact you were sleeping in his room.

Satan

Like Lucifer, Satan notices something is wrong immediately. He's also read enough books to know that losing your appetite could mean a number of things when it comes to humans.

He's much more level headed than some of his brothers and so he doesn't immediately think your death is imminent, but that doesn't mean he isn't worried about you.

He pulls you aside after dinner to ask you if you're feeling okay, and isn't surprised when you tell him you aren't.

He tells you to go to bed immediately (even though that was where you were going) and does not let any of his brothers come 10 metres within your room, telling them that you do not need the extra stress that comes with each of them.

Refreshes himself on home remedies for human illnesses. He could ask Solomon, but Satan definitely does not trust him to make any sort of tea/soup. The last thing he wants is for you to be feeling worse.

Settles on making a herbal tea and takes an hour trying to make sure it's the perfect balance of palatable but also able to help you feel better.

He'll bring one of these herbal teas to your room as often as you need it. He doesn't want to be intrusive, and wants you to get your rest but also wants you to get better ASAP.

Spends all the time he isn't trying to make tea researching human illnesses to make sure you get better quickly, but also to make sure if this happens again he doesn't feel as useless as he does right now.

Will probably not go to bed that night, instead opting to either stay outside your door, or if you are feeling up to it, will sit in your bedroom, he might even bring a book to read to you from the library.

Asmodeus

He almost immediately notices something is up with your actions, although he doesn't put two and two together to realise you must feel unwell.

He actually thinks you must be trying out a new cleanse or something. Why wouldn't you tell him? He needs to be up to date on every health or beauty trend and he can't believe he's fallen behind.

Follows you outside of the dining hall after dinner and asks you to tell him the details.

Is as equally as confused as you are when you reply with, “Huh? What are you talking about? I wouldn’t do anything like that without telling you first?”

Asks you why you didn’t eat anything at dinner if you aren’t doing what he thought you were then. He backs up a few inches when you explain that you aren’t feeling that good.

Please don’t take it personally, he just does NOT want to deal with the feelings that come with being sick or the physical symptoms for that matter. He can’t deal with being clammy and sweaty.

“MC! Why didn’t you say anything earlier? Go on! Straight to your room! And don’t even think about coming out until you feel better!” Honestly he’s a little too loud about it considering the headache that has now arrived but you don’t argue with his orders.

You’d be wrong if you think he doesn’t care though. He is immediately on Akuzon looking for something to help you feel better. He’s bought you a humidifier, a fan, a heater and a new water bottle. They almost definitely won’t arrive until after this sickness passes, but it’s the thought that counts right?

Not only that but he is also immediately in the groupchat with his brothers ordering them to make sure they are aware you aren’t feeling well and to make sure that you have anything you need brought to your bedroom door so that you don’t have to exert yourself.

Later in the evening you wake up to your door opening a tiny bit and see a gloved hand gently placing down a glass of water and a face mask for you before quickly disappearing and closing the door behind it.

He also texts you to let you know that it was him (in case you hadn’t guessed and just assumed his brothers are suddenly really into hydration and skincare?) and tells you to get better soon so that he can treat you to a spa day. You only haven’t been around him for 8 hours and he already misses you, please get better soon.

Beelzebub

This man loves his food so it’s not a surprise that he is way more interested in what is currently on his plate than anything surrounding him, he also just thinks you’re being your normal kind self when you offer the rest (honestly, a better word would be most) of the food on your plate to him.

He is also one of the last to leave the table and doesn’t realise that you have already excused yourself when he is finished.

He immediately feels bad for not even thanking you for the extra food and goes straight to your room, hoping you’re there so he is able to thank you properly.

He’s honestly surprised to find you already in bed but was honestly much more surprised when he knocked on your door was not, “Come in!” like it usually is and was instead a weird sound that sounded similar to a dying animal.

He immediately forgets why he came to your room in the first place and instead rushes to your bed, “MC! Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

The relief that rushes through him when you tell him you aren’t hurt is unmatched, although relief is once again replaced with worry when you explain to him that you aren’t feeling well.

Poor baby thinks it’s his fault because he ate your dinner.

“I can go get you more food, MC. I’m sorry for eating your food. You didn’t have to give me yours. You must be so hungry now.”

He’s pretty confused when you tell him that it’s okay, you aren’t hungry and that you’ve actually lost your appetite because you aren’t feeling well.

He stays by your side almost all night. He only leaves to get himself snacks to make sure his stomach isn’t growling loudly so that he doesn’t wake you up. He texted Solomon to find out how humans recover from illnesses and rest was at the top of the list, so he wants to make sure you get the most amount of rest you possibly can.

He’ll bring you something plain, like crackers, to eat when you wake up so that you don’t go hungry or feel worse for having an empty stomach.

Belphegor

Belphie honestly isn’t that big on eating anyway. Having that twin connection with Beel is great and all, until he feels the same stomach ache that Beel has because he’s eaten way too much again. Belphie kinda associates eating with stomach aches so eats more out of necessity than enjoyment.

He notices that you aren’t eating much, but doesn’t think anything of it, sometimes he isn’t that hungry either, he gets it.

Actually notices something is up because you’re pretty quiet all night. He also doesn’t see you hanging out with any of the brothers after dinner, and you haven’t come to see him either so he goes looking for you.

He finds you in the planetarium staring up at the sky, and happily joins you. You sit in silence for a while just enjoying eachothers company.

“Hey, MC. Are you okay? You barely ate any dinner and you were really quiet too.”

He’s relieved when you finally turn to look at him and smile at him. “I’m okay. I just don’t feel the best right now. I didn’t really want any food.”

“Is that because it was Mammon’s turn to cook?”

“BELPHIE!” You laugh at his jab at Mammon while yelling at him for being rude. Honestly he only said it to make you laugh. Mission accomplished. He just wants you to feel better, but he really isn’t the best with feelings and stuff, and definitely doesn’t know how to help someone that’s feeling sick.

You both end up lying together on the floor in silence just enjoying the sky and the company, usually Belphie would fall asleep but for once it was you.

He only noticed because you ended up moving yourself closer to him in your sleep.

You both lay like that for a while, Belphie eventually fell asleep with you for a few hours as well.

When he woke up to find you still asleep next to him he picked you up and took you to his bed. He was worried you’d wake up feeling more uncomfortable for sleeping on the floor.

He held you next to him all night. He really didn’t care about catching whatever you had, he was pretty content to stay like this forever, and maybe him getting sick aswell would make that more likely to happen.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me brothers #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me beelzebub #obey me leviathan #obey me asmodeus #obey me fluff #obey me satan #obey me belphegor #obey me x reader #obey me x gender neutral reader

2K notes · View notes

favvn · 1 month

Text

Something that I've been processing since Errand of Mercy is that line of Kirk's about being used to the idea of dying. I take it to refer to his experiences on Tarsus IV rather than a willingness to die for Starfleet/some loyalty-to-the-death type deal. Like, he saw a leader make themselves into a dictator in a time of famine and suffering, and said dictator used "personal eugenics" on the people he was meant to aid. Kirk himself was selected to die. Regardless of if Kirk was a young child or teenager when it happened, that event has shaped him (and I can not believe no other writers for the show used it explicitly to develop his character, so now I get to feel like the Pepe Silva It's Always Sunny meme always. It's fine. It's cool. It's fun, even. Thank god for fanfic writers).

But in the episode before Errand of Mercy, The Devil in the Dark, Kirk says that--as individuals--Spock and himself are expendable. The implication is the chain-of-command based on Kirk's rank as Captain and Spock's rank as First Officer. Should Kirk die, Spock assumes command and etc. If both are killed together, there's a larger ripple effect in the chain and more issues to get positions filled, so Spock and Kirk together as a pair are not expendable. (To say nothing of the larger risk of endangering two lives vs one and Kirk takes calculated risks.)

I point this out because in Operation: Annihilate, Kirk doesn't give a single care about the chain-of-command and who is expendable once Spock is made host to one of the creatures.

(As an aside: yes, I know the usual considerations. Inconsistent writing on the show's part. Nobody would want to work under Kirk if he didn't care deeply for the safety of his crew. Etc.)

Nowhere in Operation: Annihilate does anyone suggest a replacement first officer (despite idk the weirdly vivid memory that it was a conversation Spock and Kirk had in the episode? Did I write my own fanfic while watching the episode and give myself a case of the Mandela effect? I have tried rewatching it and reading transcripts, and I am getting no such scene and I am feeling truly insane, oh my brainworms have gotten worse) after Spock is made a host to the creatures. McCoy comes close in wanting Spock to stay in Sickbay rather than go out to collect a sample, and McCoy also reminds Kirk that Spock is "the best first officer in the fleet" before they put him under enough light to rival the sun and fry his optic nerves, leaving him (temporarily) blind.

(As another aside, while it is one big facepalm that these 3 geniuses in their respective fields failed to conduct their experiment properly--Nurse Chapel, you are due for a promotion!--dare I say that it is still a compelling and entertaining drama? The time-crunch scenario of if Spock can't withhold the pain and insanity anymore, of if Kirk's nephew wakes up, and of when the creatures will successfully leave the planet to infect a new one, so they will gamble and risk Spock's eyesight rather than enact a plan that would kill 1 million people.)

It's just. Interesting to me. Almost as if Kirk believes that so long as he and Spock are together, regardless of what may injure them, they can do anything.

#star trek tos #spirk #errand of mercy #the conscience of the king #the devil in the dark #operation: annihilate #incurable spirk brainworms as always #but like. compelling the way these two just do what they do #ntm the vague parallel between spock ready to kill the horta to save jim vs jim prying the creature off of spock without hesitation #these two have their own beliefs they operate by but they toss them aside the second the other one is in danger hmmm 🤔#trek meta

25 notes · View notes

mydarlingbat · 7 months

Text

Was The Batman and The Joker relationship different in the golden age?

I understand that it’s hard to accept that Batman might actually have feeling for the Joker, but apparently it’s the truth. so let’s jump right into it. first i’m going to bounce straight to the golden age comics. People claimed that The Joker did not enjoy the game. That the Joker only desire was to get rid of the Batman. The only thing that was important to him was murdering and stealing. He cared nothing about the cat and mouse game. The Joker only kill when it's funny. He doesn't just kill, and that's my opinion, but I'm about to prove you wrong about their dance. In the issue of Batman 57# The Joker encounters Batman. They're both fighting each other, and let's just say the Joker gets the upper hand, then wins, and he ties the dark Knight up to a trap. He’s now about to removes the Batman's mask, but Batman reminds him that "He won't be able to chase him anymore" Which led to the Joker not removing the mask. Batman also used the words chase rather than fight. The Joker also goes on to say. "I didn’t think about that. "i’ll miss our duels and wits" which made me believe that the Joker already figured he was going to escape, probably. Why else would he need to reflect on what they’ll do next time. He could take the mask off of him right now ? he’s so positive that Batman’s going to die, why are you worrying about his secret identity when he’s going to die anyways ? unless the Joker figures maybe there’s a chance he will escape, or maybe he likes it a secret. Batman issue #12 the Joker straps Batman down to a spinning wheel that spins really fast, after he turns the spinning wheel on. He immediately hates the idea of Batman dying like that, and lets him get away free once again. In the issue of detective comics issue #62 the Joker is about to detach the Batman’s mask, again, but immediately changes his mind reflecting on later, also in this issue The Joker openly admits saying "i enjoy the wits. the hunt. the chase" implying the cat and mouse game him and the Batman plays, so The Joker does like the game. He enjoys it, and he'll let the Batman secret stay safe so he could dance with his bat. In issue of Batman #32 the Joker has Batman tie up, again, but it's to a wooden chair _ while he reads a newspaper. He goes on to say " i’ll depose of you eventually" leaving Batman to escape once again. heavily implying he doesn’t want Batman dead right now, as well In the issue of batman # 7 the Joker asks batman "What kept him" and that goes back to what I said earlier. He waits for him to show up. He might pretend that he doesn't, but his actions proves him wrong. Also in the golden age The Joker says "I would have been disappointed if you hadn't figured it out" the Joker's outright saying that he wanted him to figure it out. It tells you right there that Joker does seeks his attention, even if it's subtle. In Batman #53 issue. The Joker once again ties Batman up, and oh my goodness. He honestly get tied up so much in the golden age comics, but in the issue, One of his goons asks "let see who's under the mask" The Joker agrees to remove the mask, and proceeds to take the mask off, but pauses and stops, and says " it'd ruin the only little fun I have" He continue to say. "Yes, Batman I'll let your identity remain. A secret for you afford me. The thrill of Supremes battles of wits each time we meet" and here I am again saying once again obviously the Joker knew there was a big chance he was going to escape the trap. Why else would he think about another time ? i have no doubt the obsession wasn't there. it was subtle, but in front of our faces, and like I said it wasn't all about the kill. It was also about Batman too. Theses are not things I decided to make up. If you have doubt be welcome to go give the issues a check. Yes, the Joker enjoys the wits. He stated in almost every golden age comics "I can't wait until Batman sees what I got in store" obviously he wanted Batman to know what he was up to.

Most of the times they look like they're having fun. Bruce also liked to irritate him as much as the Joker liked to irritate him. Batman's already aware of the game we can see. the Joker adores to play. It's the only reason the Dark Knight goes on to say. "At least I won't have to chase you anymore" knowing the Joker would immediately change his mind, and luckily for bats he did. It's in Batman #57. Do i have to remind you that theses are the golden age comics. Yes, The Joker still cherished the game. it's not only about murdering innocent civilians. I honestly don't believe he even wanted to kill Batman. I mean he never once killed Batman in the 40's and 50's. Did Batman ever take the Joker's life. Yes, he did. It was only a couple incidents. I won't say he just purposely try to kill him, but when they were fighting Batman actually might have kicked him, or punched him, and he could've fallen to to his death, but he honestly never does hardly. Though I already mention this was when the Joker first came in the picture. it wasn’t constant, but When the Joker first came around. I would have to jump head of myself and say that a lot of times the Joker did fall. The dark Knight rarely believe the Joker was dead. He even had times sitting alone that he wonder if the Joker was still alive, even though he heard nothing about him, deep down he missed his Joker, and how do I know that ? Because when he sees the joker alive. He instantly says things like. "It's good to see you again." Nice meeting up with you. "It's been awhile Joker" let's move back to the death's of the Joker. For example Batman issue #4 Batman says "he always seems to cheat death" let's go on to Batman relationship with his greatest enemy. Batman issue # 8. Batman decides not to take the Joker's life. He bring him back to jail. This continually happens now. Did the Batman actually liked the Joker at all in the golden age ? Yes i do believe so. the Batman actually showed signs of missing the Joker, and sometimes when they did meet up he would say "it’s good to see you again Joker," "or the Joker’s mine". "the Joker’s my dish" "i’ll handle the joker." " it’s never a waste chasing you Joker" "it looks like I sort of swept you off your feet." Batman 45. batman #9 batman yells when the Joker is about to be hit by a train. The scream is so loud. I'm just applaud. he also saved the Joker in the first issue of Batman. He goes on to say "you're too valuable a prize to lose" those words sound more like to a friend then and enemy, and something the dark Knight probably won't even dream of saying now. Batman 13# the Joker says "hello", and Batman reply with "abroad joker" this honestly seems like the two are playing. Batman #69 Batman finally gets to see the Joker again, after so many months. While Robin did show a suddenly like for the the Joker in the golden age comics. I don't mean that it in any other way, but In the issue. Robin quickly goes to fight the joker, and telling Batman "he's missed the Joker " Batman gets dick Grayson out the way replying "Sorry Robin but the Joker's my personal dish" letting him know once again the Joker is mine. in the golden age. The Batman does states that "the Joker's mine" constantly for example.The Joker's my meat" it seems like a lot of jokes and fun between the two. yeah, he sure sounds like your enemy batman.

Detective comics # 114 the Joker says "I wasn't expecting you so soon." Which implys he was in fact waiting for the Batman to show up sooner or later, but not so fast, also I would like to say why did the Joker keep Batman alive so long ? He could've shot him, but never does, and if he wants to get rid of Batman so bad in the golden age comics. He could have honestly gotten him out of the way. Batman #37 later on in the comics you can see Batman's demeanor towards the Joker is much better than previously. He even says watch out for your step with concern, and then saves him, and the Joker says "help I'll be hurt" and the dark Knight reply with "I wouldn't want a thing like that happen to you "at the end of this issue Robin asked Batman if you think they'll keep him locked up for good this time, and he replies "Who knows dick. All I know is Batman and Robin will jump at the chance to tangle with him again" Batman enjoys fighting the Joker even though in the newer comics he hates to admit it. Detective # 124 Joker leaves Batman and Robin tied up against the wall, and leaves with his goons. C'mon man you know he's going to escape Joker. Batman issue # 46 the clown sends Batman a letter which is pretty gay, and has on the bottom love and kisses from the Joker. Batman #52 Batman says "perhaps Bruce Wayne would enjoy being robbed by the Joker." Now we all know this is a set up, but I still love the line nevertheless. Did Batman give the joker what he wanted in the golden age comics to get something from him. Yes, he did. Batman #53 joker "You had your fun. Now give me what I want" the Joker replied with " you're right Batman I had my fun. You've given me my laughs. I don't need you anymore " The Joker is in fact saying he did need the Batman but not anymore. Which apparently was to scare Batman. cause when he told his goons to blast him. It's water guns. Batman #66 Batman openly admits it's a pleasure fighting the joker, and bumping into him. his exact words. " I can't tell you what a pleasure it is bumping into you again, Joker" he almost sound graceful. The boner thing. I don't even need to go in to detail. You want to read it. It's in Batman 66# the Joker comedy of errors. Batman #73. Batman says " good fight Joker, but you're finished" Did he enjoy the fight ? I think he did, and people who will say Batman was flirty with others. No not like the Joker. Batman #193 the Joker finally gets Batman In his clutches and what do he do to him ? He plays with him, and embarrasses him, but not once tried to kill him while he's with him. He must not be in hurry to kill Batman like some people say. Detective Comics # 75 Batman shows how much he knows the Joker. He even says # "my friend"

Also in Batman # 118 Batman is very worried that the Joker might break his neck while existing the window. Batman also said in Detective comics issue # 91 that he doesn't want to waste The Joker’s time. detective comics #85 the Joker saved Batman from the imposter that's imitating him. in this issue I'm going to point out a few things in the beginning. Robin tells Batman that the Joker's "back at it again" and Batman reply with " I'm not so sure dick. It's not like the Joker to beat someone to death with spades and clubs. I think someone is trying to plant murders on the Joker" this gives a great view of how much Batman knows the Joker, even before the new rebirth came out. Batman does want to help the Joker in Batman issue # 2. Batman #71 a crime a day. Batman says " you're keeping a date with me Joker" theses remarks, and comments were flirty. Batman 16 # Batman is surprised that the Joker saved his life. though the madman has lost his memory. Batman has no knowledge of this occurring. Though Robin believes the Joker only back to his old tricks again. Batman doesn't. He believes maybe the Joker's gotten better, but it shows me how bad Batman really wants that. Batman #19 Batman says "where are you going Joker. The fun is just beginning. " and please remember theses are all from the golden age. Also he goes on to say in this issue " don't tease the animals, and that includes Batman. these remarks, and replies, even saying are flirty, and shows a side of the Joker and Batman relationship already. Batman issues # 20 Batman sticks the Joker on the butt. though he could have stuck him in any other place. He decides to stick him on the butt with the spear. Batman sees the Joker as a wise guy. This is mention in Batman # 23. Batman also goes on to say in this issue at the ending. "May I have this dance" The Joker says "I will join in a minute Batman. " Batman also nicknamed the Joker mr funny man. Detective Comics #91 Robin announces to Batman that the Joker finally met his match, and Batman reply with "don't be so sure of that dick. Can't see a guard or convict put anything on him" Batman thinks very highly of the Joker. Detective Comics 109 # the Joker runs towards Batman happily. calling it "touching reunion" and it "bought tears to his eyes " You can see how much the Joker actually missed the Batman.

Let's move back to the other villains issues. First I would like to point out that Batman did not interact with the other villains like this in the golden age comics. I'm going to begin with the 40 and 50's for now, so anything up to 60s isn't talked about yet. Two face appears in detective comics #68 Batman # 58 detective comics #66 detective comics #80 detective comics #181 batman #81. In all these issues Batman never once said it's nice seeing you again, and I'm not talking about when they were all bud bud. I'm talking about after he got acid threw in his face. There also was no flirty comments. Witty maybe, but nothing flirty. Let's move on to the Riddler. Though he does not appear much in the 50's 40's he does appear in Batman #171 Batman #179 detective comics #140 detective comics #142 in these issues the Batman does not say it's nice seeing you again. He also said he doesn't think Riddler can change, but said he believes Joker could, and even believe he could become sane again. For example in Batman issue #59 Batman goes back into the past to see if he could studied his ancestors, and reform the Joker. You go though all that trouble for the joker Bruce ? he asks the joker "why do you insist using your talents for crazy humorous crimes " the Joker answers with "I don't know maybe I got it from my ancestors they were famous clowns" Batman #97 in this issue Batman seems to really be having fun with the Joker. Batman also refers to the Joker old friend a whole lot. The joker doesn't say this much, but in the recent comics he does. Batman #144 the Joker already shows how well he knows Batman. He hired a guy to impersonate Batman, but when the real Batman shows up. The Joker immediately know from how good he is. He's gotta be the real thing. Now that's all I'm going to talk about. Next I'm going to talk about the sixties and seventies.

#batjokes #batman and joker #batman #batman x joker #comic books #comics #dc comics #the joker #batmm #dcedit #theories #updated version #words

49 notes · View notes