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#I cannot BELIEVE how many of you guys stick around for my bullshit
thewiglesswonder · 2 years
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How many followers do you have?
As of right now, 1711. I’ve been thinking about doing some kind of celebratory thing for a milestone, but I’m not so sure 1. What that would be, and 2. What milestone I would be celebrating.
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thefanficmonster · 3 years
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Rumors
Corpse Husband x Bimbo!Reader (Female)
Warnings: Mentions of Slut Shaming, Swearing
Genre: Fluff, Tiniest bit of Angst, RPF (Real Person Fic)
Summary: When some rumors start floating around, every content creator does their best to either ignore them or defuse the situation. However, sometimes, the fans attempt to do the defusing themselves which only leads to a worse disaster. That’s the case for Corpse whose fans were quick to jump to his protection of some ‘false’ rumors.
Requested by Anon. Hi dear! Thank you so much for your request, it was a joy to write. I’m sorry for how long it has taken me to complete and post the fic but here it finally is and I hope you enjoy reading it at least half as much as I enjoyed writing it! Love, Vy ❤
Corpse cracks his knuckles, then his shoulders, then his collarbone, then the his neck. He clenches his jaw as he breathes steadily and rhythmically, trying to control an overwhelming wave of anger that he has never felt before. This is a situation he’s never had to deal with nor did he ever think he’d have to deal with and address on a fucking livestream on top of all, but here he is now, doing his best to count to ten and not go on a Twitter responding spree, calling people out on their bullshit. He wanted to do so, he still wants to, but he was stopped in his intentions and brought to a calm mindset where he was swayed into dealing with this the civil way and not by roasting the fuck out of any and every foul-mouthed person he’s seen on his Twitter timeline.
He can’t really guarantee and civility during the stream either, he’s aware his tolerance is as thin as a stretched out, old rubber band and is a slight tug away from snapping and allowing him to unleash hell on these people because of who he’s been seeing red these past few days. 
Let’s not risk a misunderstanding here - Corpse absolutely loves and adores his fans, but seeing this behavior from them is quite upsetting and disappointing. When he uses the terms like ‘assholes’, ‘jerks’ and ‘rude motherfuckers’ he isn’t referring to them. He knows they are good people, but are using the completely wrong tactic of defending him, not to mention he doesn’t even need defending. Even if he did, he’s more than capable of doing it on his own and not getting other people involved.
“Hello everyone, hope you’re doing well.“ He finally settles on saying, officially kicking off the stream. If there’s any indicator of the serious nature of this stream, it’s probably the lack of lo-fi and the lack of even attempted playfulness and cheeriness in his voice. That’s how you know shit isn’t to be messed around about. “I just realized I didn’t specify what I’ll be doing in the Tweet, but I’ll tell you now, so those who aren’t interested in the subject or want to steer clear of the drama can leave. However, I wouldn’t advise clicking off considering this will be an overall, how do I say this, rant, of sorts? It’s meant to knock some sense in the people who have been spreading hate for a specific person on all social media platforms she’s active on.“
The majority of the viewers are already familiar with the subject, some even guilty of spreading the hate Corpse mentioned, but there are a few that are completely clueless - the ones actually not interested in online drama, not just saying they ‘hate drama’. With those people in mind, Corpse takes to addressing the issue from its very beginning.
“So, for a month now, me and this streamer, who’s also a TikTok star, by the name of Y/N have been interacting a lot on social media. She’s an incredibly sweet girl that a lot of people have prejudice towards. She’s very misjudged and misunderstood because people see he solely as her content, if that makes sense. They only know she’s that streamer who wears revealing clothes on her streams and posts risqué pictures on her Instagram. Like, no.“ Corpse cannot even fully believe he has to address this and that slut-shaming people is still a thing in the twenty-first century. He closes his eyes for a moment, fist tightening and his knuckles turning white, “I don’t understand how so many people can be so shallow and just plain jerks towards her in general, but then again - this is especially for my fans, the members of my fandom - I don’t understand the need you guys feel to put Y/N down to defend me from some ridiculous rumors as if it’s the first time I’ve had to deal with people talking shit for attention or to get someone canceled.“ He sighs, reminding himself to slow his roll as to not confuse any viewers who still don’t know the full story, “Anyway, back to the timeline of events. So, considering we’ve never interacted before, all the replying to comments, retweeting, liking posts and whatever sparked some dating rumors. Isn’t that just fucking hilarious - you see two people interacting on social media and the first thing that comes to mind is that they’re in a romantic relationship. Where did the friendship go? Does no one value or consider friendships to be a valid type of human relation anymore?“ He runs a hand through his hair, making another pause to clear his mind and prevent his frustration from overflowing. He promised he wouldn’t lose his cool and would remain calm and collected, but the more he talks about it the tighter he clenches his fist and the faster his heartrate is. His neck and ears are red from the tension he feels all over, almost like he’s physically restraining a raging wild animal and not just his own thoughts and emotions.
There’s layers to his anger, the lower ones - aka the ones he’s yet to get to - will be a nightmarish test of his self-control, he already knows it. Judging by how much of a toll this rant has already taken on him, his patience and control growing thinner and thinner, he’s not sure how he’ll power through the last layers without his voice raising awfully high in volume and his fists searching for some object to punch. To an ignorant eye, his reaction would seem exaggerated and overboard, but little does that ignorant eye know...
“When some of my fans saw those rumors, they reacted very badly. It was quite disappointing to see. Guys, I appreciate you standing up for me even though you shouldn’t do that - I can defend myself, not that this was a matter I needed defending from to begin with. But just the way some of you went about it was horrifically wrong and quite upsetting, to me but especially to Y/N herself.“ He can feel it, the aggravation growing, bubbling up in his chest, “What I saw disgusted me, I’m not gonna sugarcoat it. The things some of you were saying...I couldn’t believe you are in fact the same people who are my fans, my lovely fans who I’ve always thought so highly of. Never did I think you could be able of slut-shaming so vulgarly and grossly, I couldn’t believe what I was reading.“
He has every right to be upset - the things being said about Y/N were truly awful and a lot of things being said were meant to defend Corpse and defuse the rumors, doing so while stomping all over Y/N and her content. Rightfully so, many of her fans were outraged and quick to jump to her defense but were unfortunately outnumbered, leading Corpse to believe not many of her fans are actually real or as dedicated as his which only fueled his fury further.
Anyway, let’s take a look at Y/N’s point of view. Being a content creator for as long as she has, refusing to change her style no matter how many people disagreed and insulted her about it, she’s grown quite used to people spitting insults at her on every social media possible. It’s sad how throughout the majority of her content creating career she’s only had haters, creeps and fake fans watching her videos and streams. Rare are those in her fandom who’d actually stick up for her and defend her in ‘scandals’ such as this one. However, no amount of experience with dealing with hate could have prepared her for this outpour of some of the meanest shit she’s ever heard and been called in her life.
Y/N likes the content she makes, she’s comfortable in her skin and loves her body. She loves showing it off too and nor she nor anyone who wants that deserves to be shamed for who they are and what they do, especially when they aren’t hurting anyone and their content is still appropriate. People have always bashed her for all elements of who she is: her appearance, her clothing style, her streams, her gaming skills, her voice on occasion. She can count the instances when she’s received positive feedback on the fingers of her hands which would depress anyone else but not her. She’s always created content for her own amusement and entertainment so people’s opinions never really bothered her. Until now, until this very drama that has hit a specific nerve, an insecurity of hers she’s never talked about. The comments such as:
(Vy Speaking: Comments containing slut-shaming ahead, go to ### if you want to skip)
“Corpse would never date a slut like her“
“Corpse dating this thot? Please internet stop being ridiculous“
“Corpse ain’t a pimp, y’all need to chill“
“Even if they datin they gon break up soon - whore stays a whore“
###
bothered her far more than she’d like to admit. She has no one to open up about it either, she knows what she’ll get in response if she does - she’ll be told it’s her fault. Her fault because of the way she dresses, the way she talks and acts, because she chose this career to begin with. All her fault. The only person she can turn to she refuses to because she doesn’t want to be a bother - not after so many people confirmed her worries that she’s not good enough for him already anyway, the least she can do is avoid bothering him the best she can.
And that is exactly why this has upset Corpse so much.
“Here’s a little message specifically meant for those who claimed I’d never date someone like Y/N or specifically Y/N. You better listen carefully: Don’t you ever, and I mean EVER slut-shame my girlfriend or any other person ever. I cannot believe I have to explicitly remind you that your behavior isn’t ok. You should fucking know that your behavior isn’t right and that you’re a massive piece of shit for saying those awful things about others you judge solely on appearance and clothing. Does it surprise you that I am, in fact, dating Y/N? If you say yes for the reason you think she’s not good enough for me or that I deserve better, please get the fuck out of my fandom. No one disrespects my girl and gets away with it. That’s final!“
Though still under the influence of a flurry of negative emotions, overhearing Corpse literally telling people to exclude themselves from his fandom for being mean to her, Y/N’s taking a step towards emotional recovery knowing her boyfriend will always have her back. He’ll always be there to prove people wrong, defend her and stand by her. He’ll be there to catch her when the hate knocks her off her feet.
But most importantly: he’ll never ask her to change. Not her style, not her clothes, not her personality, nothing. He fell for her the way she is and for who she is, and he will never allow anyone to try to change her either. For someone who’s never had much support all her life, a single speck of support overpowers all the hate within the blink of an eye. Corpse will always be her knight in shining armor, the knight who defeated all the hateful demons by just entering her life. And though she’s still struggling with the ‘Am I good enough for someone so wonderful?’ and ‘He deserves better, doesn’t he?’ questions, with his hand holding hers, she’ll never let those doubts and insecurities overpower her.
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makeste · 4 years
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BnHA Chapter 287: Family Reunion
Previously on BnHA: The Tomura For One VS Deku And Pals clusterfuck reached new levels of clustfuckery as AFO possessed Tomura’s body and stabbed Kacchan and Endeavor. Shouto was all “good thing I leveled up offscreen so as to be able to fly around whilst carrying 400lbs worth of people”, and did just that and it was like, damn, son. Meanwhile Deku’s rage went Mach 100, and he kicked Tomura’s ass for almost two whole seconds, but in the process he apparently forgot that IF TOMURA TOUCHES HIM THAT IS VERY BAD, and so he stupidly let Tomura touch him and Tomura was all “GAME, SET.” Fortunately for Deku, his quirk plays by its own rules, and so the chapter ended with us cutting to the METAPHYSICAL OFA/AFO PARANORMAL DREAMSCAPE OF MYSTICAL BULLSHIT, where AFO!Vestige was all “lol Tomura y u mad”, and Nana!Vestige was all “SUP DEKU, YOU’RE JUST IN TIME, LOOKS LIKE IT’S ASSKICKING O’CLOCK.” I’m paraphrasing a bit, but that’s more or less the gist of it.
Today on BnHA: AFO is all “well if it isn’t Tomura’s grandmother who I murdered that one time”, and Deku is all “?”, and AFO is all “fucking vestiges, man, wild”, and Deku is all “??”, and AFO is all “ANYWAYS GETTIM TOMURA”, and OFA is all “NOT SO FAST”, and Deku is all “???”, and really, same. AFO then goes off on some wild tangent about how Deku is unworthy because he couldn’t protect everyone and needed help from OFA and got mad about his friends being stabbed, which is such a cold take it gave me hypothermia, but it ends up not mattering since Deku and Tomura both wake up seconds later with OFA still in the possession of its rightful owner, HOW ABOUT THAT. The chapter ends with the LoV approaching on Gigantomachia’s back with Dabi practically salivating at the mouth, and Toga trying to reignite an old fandom blood feud. Toga why would you do this to me. Toga.
YESSSSSSSSSSSSS
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[CROWD LOSING THEIR MINDS] FINALLY THE NANA HAS COME BACK TO BNHA!! IF YA SMELLLLL WHAT THE NANA IS COOKIN!!!!! [RINGSIDE BELL CHIMING WILDLY] [LOUD AIRHORN NOISES]
“chapter 287: mistake” omg. yeah I’ll say you made a mistake, AFO. I HOPE YOU ENJOY THESE FLEETING LAST MOMENTS OF YOUR SHITTY EVIL LIFE
(ETA: so in all seriousness this must be referring to AFO’s belief that All Might/OFA made a mistake in choosing Deku, right? “I can’t believe you went and chose this shounen manga protagonist as your champion, what were you thinking.” I’ll just put this out there: however many comic books AFO read as a child, it clearly was not enough.)
wow Deku how slow are you
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yes you’re inside OFA you dimbulb, did you think your clothes suddenly vanished out of the blue and the ghost of Nana just randomly appeared in the real world by some freak coincidence?? can you believe this kid. breaks his arms a measly 10-15 times in a row and all of a sudden he can’t think straight, get it together Deku
but also brb having a moment at the fact that his thoughts immediately run back to Kacchan, even with all of this nonsense going on and Nana about to lay the beatdown on AFO’s potato-lookin’ ass. forget that noise, all he wants to know is whether or not Kacchan is all right. fuckin’ geez. AM I OVERREACTING HERE A BIT. probably
(ETA: ALSO!! the way he just trails off!! “Kacchan is...” and then he can’t bring himself to complete the thought. oh my god my heart.)
HOLY SHIT
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okay,
damn but this man sure knows how to ruffle my feathers. as eminently detestable as ever!!
could it be any clearer here that AFO is not on Tomura’s side?? for a moment I thought he had actually grabbed him by the back of the head in order to get him to look. but nope, he’s just resting his pointing hand on top of his head instead while he’s all “HEY TOMURA LOL IT’S THE GHOST OF YOUR DEAD PATHETIC GRANDMA”
for those keeping track at home, this would be the first time that Deku has heard this information -- that Tomura is Nana’s grandson -- and possibly the first time Vestige!Nana has heard it as well. Nana died when Kotarou was still a child, so for all we know the Vestige!Nana didn’t even know she had a grandson, lol. TODAY ON “MAKESTE RANTS AT LENGTH ABOUT THINGS THAT WILL PROBABLY BE ADDRESSED WITHIN THE NEXT THREE PANELS”, anyway moving on
lmao for the record I fucking LOLed at this giant question mark immediately bubbling up over Deku’s head
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no idea what AFO is about to ramble on about now, haven’t read that far yet. but let the record show that Deku’s immediate reaction to hearing “BTW NANA IS YOUR ARCHNEMESIS’S GRANDMA LULZ” is everything I could have hoped for
(ETA: fandom nailed the shit out of this one with the confused Mr. Krabs meme lmao.)
okay so now AFO is monologuing at length about how he would sometimes have “riveting dreams” about the previous owners of all the quirks he stole. but once he gave the quirks away they stopped bothering him?? holy moly let me just take all the notes
okay so he’s saying that Vestiges are created whenever someone has their quirk stolen by AFO. but if they then disappear when he gives the quirks away, does that also mean that whoever receives the quirks also gets the original owner’s Vestige bundled in every time?? that would be wild okay hold up let me read the rest of this
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so he’s saying that the Vestiges are actually the “consciousnesses” of the original quirk owners, which have become embedded in their dna or something. SOUNDS INCREDIBLY DUBIOUS TO ME LOL but on the other hand this is a world where children can be born with airplane heads, so my disbelief can hardly afford to pick and choose what it’s gonna be suspended at! anyways though, how does he know he’s the only one who was able to converse with them? did you conduct detailed six-month follow-up interviews with everyone you gave quirks to or what
and if it really is the case that this ability was formerly exclusive to him, isn’t that more evidence than ever that OFA and AFO are actually THE EXACT SAME QUIRK oh whoops am I getting ahead of myself again, sorry
MEANWHILE TOMURA IS ALL, “GRANDMA?”
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“WHY AM I HERE, WELL LET ME TELL YOU A STORY, GRANDSON. YOU SEE THAT MAN GROWING OUT OF YOUR RIBCAGE THERE? WELL IT’S JUST THE FUNNIEST THING, ACTUALLY”
WAIT SO IS HE SAYING THEY’RE SOULS OR NOT??
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this makes it sound like they won’t ever get to rest, which sure sounds like a soul thing to me. well whatever, soul, consciousness, I guess it’s just semantics at the end of the day
anyways though, so this asshole is finally done talking (I’m sure that won’t last), so now we can finally have the heartwarming reunion we’ve all been waiting for
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sigh
-- actually, no, not “sigh”!! you know what!! because Tomura says “whatever the reason”, but that’s only because he doesn’t actually have a fucking clue about the reason. like, I don’t know if the knowledge that AFO killed Nana would be enough to give him pause, but if he knew the whole story and knew that AFO was behind not only Nana’s death, but the rest of his family’s deaths as well... now that would be a whole different thing
anyway. but at least it’s becoming clearer now why AFO spent all that time raising Tomura up as his heir and brainwashing him even though he seems to have been planning this body takeover the whole time. it’s all because he loves making people miserable! yaaaaay
btw HAS NANA HAD THE EXACT SAME MOLE ON HER CHIN AS TOMURA THIS ENTIRE TIME WTF. am I just the least observant person who ever lived lmao
lol wtf
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ground: [randomly starts exploding]
Deku: “ONE FOR ALL IS BEING ERODED!!!” LOL IS THAT WHAT’S HAPPENING HERE, OKAY THEN. I’ll take your word for it
y’all I cannot fucking get over this “AFO growing out of Tomura’s hip socket like a fucked-up ventriloquist dummy” shit though
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you do realize that absolutely no one can take you seriously right now, right?? it’s important to me that you know this
WHAT’S THIS NOW
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seems like SOMEONE has had it up to here with a certain SOMEONE ELSE’S bullshit lmaooo bye Felicia
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I SAID GOOD DAY!!
you guys why is he not dying!!
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-- OH DAMN
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love how Deku is just lying there like “YOU KNOW THOSE DAYS WHERE YOU’RE LIKE, THIS MIGHT AS WELL HAPPEN.” poor Deku
(ETA: where in god’s name is OFA Prime standing. why are my thoughts fully consumed by this lmao.)
are Nana and OFA Prime even doing anything?? why are they sticking their arms out like that. wait hold up is this all a big metaphor for the back-and-forth going on between Tomura trying to steal OFA and OFA being all “actually no you can’t, please enter your password and click on all the boxes with bicycles in them to prove you’re a human first”?
OH SNAP OFA PRIME SAID NO THANKS
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“SORRY BRO WE’VE ALREADY MADE OURSELVES AT HOME HERE”
I have only just noticed that metaphysical!Deku has the same scars as actual!Deku. and yet his arms are not currently broken! that doesn’t really seem consistent to me but whatever!! maybe he saved right before the boss battle, that would be smart of him
anyway, that’s great and all that OFA Prime is here helping out, but I really wanted to see Nana fight AFO in a one on one though so I’m a bit disappointed. also why is it only the two of them?? where are Banjou and the others. of all the times to be sleeping on the job
FOR FUCK’S SAKE, THIS MAN
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WOULD YOU STOP. WOULD YOU JUST QUIT IT ALREADY
oh shit hold up
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doesn’t this confirm that the reason he wanted to transfer his power to Tomura is because he believed it would make him strong enough to finally take OFA because of Quirk Singularity? jesus christ. and here he was so sure of himself. but it turns out he doesn’t actually know shit! you can’t just fucking take OFA like that ya dingdong that’s not how it works
(ETA: SO, A THOUGHT -- is there any sort of subtle hinting here in the way that he words this? “if your strength is combined with mine”, as opposed to “if my strength is combined with yours”? no idea if the admittedly-so-small-as-to-be-almost-inconsequential distinction between those two sentences exists in the original Japanese or not, but I find it very interesting that the English wording implies that he’s the one adding Tomura’s strength to his own, rather than vice versa.)
now he’s insulting Deku!!
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excuse me sir WHO ASKED YOU anyway. and never mind that being consumed by an, AND I QUOTE, “unquenchable” rage is your protege’s whole THING, and that he also needed your help to avoid being burned to a crisp a short while ago. where do you get off I swear
(ETA: also just want to point out that in the panel before this one he says that he’s been “watching through Tomura”, which pretty much confirms that his consciousness or whatever is alive inside of him all the time. Tomura is definitely not getting rid of this guy any time soon.)
WOW
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first he calls Kacchan useless, then he calls Deku a simpleton, and don’t even get me started with Nana. just, you guys. this man is just... a very, very rude man
NOW OFA IS ALL “THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT MAKES HIM SUCH A GOOD PROTAGNIST YOU BUTTMUNCH” AND OMG PREACH
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“DESPITE HIS COMMON SENSE” sdfkllk my man he already has one brother roasting him, take it easy guy
AHH WHAT
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IS THIS BACK IN THE REAL WORLD
YEP
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hahaha nice try Tomura
so Deku’s all “I didn’t lose my power! BUT” and I assume the “but” is the part where his arms are still broken and shit, and meanwhile Tomura’s body is almost healed up now finally
they’re both wiped out and now AFO is again petitioning Tomura to let him take over goddammit
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“you won’t lose your mind” yep, he sure won’t! scout’s honor!! pinky swear!!
meanwhile Deku is getting fucking desperate flkjl;k my baby. and Machia is going to show up any second now too, probably. what else can fucking go wrong at this point
oh shit I shouldn’t have asked
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get ready to rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrruuuumble, probably
OH MY GOD
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WELL AT LEAST SOMEONE HERE IS HAVING A GOOD TIME. jesus
so as soon as he heard Endeavor was there he got all, “TIME FOR THE BIG REVEAL”, is that right? WELL JOKE’S ON YOU TOUYA, YOUR DAD DOESN’T SEEM ALL THAT CONSCIOUS AT THE MOMENT, SO THAT’S GOING TO DRAIN A LOT OF THE TENSION FROM THE SCENE WHEN YOU GO ALL REVERSE DARTH VADER ON HIM AND HE’S ALL “ZZZZZZZZ”
meanwhile Toga is having unsettlingly quiet angst
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jesus christ Toga this is all we need right now
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“WAS JIN-KUN NOT A PERSON” sdkfjlk Horikoshi I swear. please have mercy on this fandom. this is the debate that refuses to die!!
but seriously ffs, the issue isn’t that Jin deserved to die, it’s that the countless people whom Jin would have either directly or indirectly killed didn’t deserve to die either. people don’t only become people when you attach names and faces to them! we all loved Jin because we’d gotten to know him, but that doesn’t mean his life was inherently worth more than the lives of all the people he would have killed. sometimes there’s just no good answer
like, it’s just crazy to me that because the heroes are all “we want to protect everyone!” but then aren’t always able to do so because that’s literally impossible, whereas the villains are all “we don’t care about anyone other than the select few people that we actually like!”, the villains somehow wind up getting the better PR. it just so happens that it’s infinitely easier to be loyal to the interests of a few people as opposed to ALL THE PEOPLE. like, no shit, it’s easier to stick to your moral code when you barely have a moral code. and so the villains can kill thousands and no one bats an eye, but if a hero fails to save even one person they’re hypocritical moral failures. like what the hell
BUT ANYWAY, sorry to go off on a tangent there lol, it’s not really a big deal. I’m just preemptively trying to stave off more discourse about it lol but who am I even kidding
anyways lol, but of course they won’t kill you unless they have no choice, Toga. but when it comes to catch-22 situations, it’s a bit much to infer that the heroes don’t consider the villains people just because they opt for the choice that spares more innocent lives. I sure as hell don’t want my babies out here killing people, but to say that they can’t no matter what or else they’re no different from the villains is just...
anyway so the chapter has now just ENDED, just like that!! on a shot of Ochako’s face!
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I SENSE ANOTHER THROWDOWN COMING. and it had better not be a total letdown like the last one! NANA BARELY DID ANYTHING HORIKOSHI, WHAT THE FUCK. I started out with such high hopes lol
but I will settle for Toga VS Ochako, and Deku VS Tomura: The Sequel: Shouto’s Revenge! SPEAKING OF HEROES WHO HAVE NO QUALMS ABOUT MURDERING PEOPLE lmao
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redspiderling · 3 years
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You'll die on this hill huh? Blog for a racist, antisemite, transphobe, who supports paedophiles. Sorry but I don't think I can follow you anymore.
Hello to you too anon,
I don't even know how to unpack this. I'm so tired of having to answer to this fucking nonsensical narrative you guys have built. This is why if Scarlett ever went on social she'd just post a middle finger and then ghost all of you. Beyond that, it really pisses me off that you keep flooding my inbox with this bullshit. I don't come to your blog to tell you what to talk about anon. I see a lot of stupid things posted on here, but I don't go in people's spaces and say "you're stupid", because that's just not productive, and it's not nice.
But lets do this again anon, let's roll one last time, and then goodbye to you, have a nice life. Let's take it by subject:
Racist: Really? I googled racist Scarlett Johansson and literally nothing came up, other than the whitewashing accusations over her Ghost in the Shell casting. First of all, while the race of an android is something that we can go on about for a long time, and the casting of adaptations of Japanese content is another thing we can go on about for a long time (because e.g. a couple of years after GitS came out, nobody accused the actors or producers of Detective Pikachu for whitewashing, even though most of the actors on it were white), lets say I agree with you, that Scarlett shouldn't have been cast in that film. She apologised at the time, and said she wouldn't knowingly take away a role that was meant for a person from another race. After all, the role was meant to go to Margot Robbie initially, and when she dropped out due to scheduling issues, it went to Scarlett. So, the role of Major in Ghost in the Shell actually went from one white woman, to another white woman. Are you gonna go after the casting people for this, or are you gonna keep accusing Scarlett for accepting a role that she thought was meant for a white lead? You don't need to reply, it was a rhetorical question, I know you're not actually interested in figuring out how racism works in showbusiness. Lets keep going, let's say you don't believe her, and that it was entirely her fault, that at the time she took away a role that would otherwise have gone to a person of colour. Well, it's been 7 years since she was cast for that role. She's been in many, many films since then, and not once has she taken a role from a non-white person. I think 7 years is enough time passed to think this person has learned their lesson, and won't make the same mistake again.
Anti-Semite: ..................... Scarlett is Jewish, anon. She has family that died in concentration camps. See, this is how I know that you don't actually care about any of this, you just enjoy bitching on tumblr, so thanks for making my life easier. I guess I'd feel bad if I thought I actually made you uncomfortable.
Transphobe: We cannot actually know that? She hasn't made any anti-trans comments, but she hasn't supported the cause either so, who knows? Accepting the role in Rub and Tug was a mistake, and once she figured that out she admitted it, made an apology, and dropped the project. And don't make me go over the whole "I could be a tree" thing again. I can't deal. She was giving an interview for a pretentious French magazine, and the interviewer was going on and on about the art that is acting (and saying some pretty questionable things while at it), and when he asked her "what do you think is the job of an actor?" she replied that actors are people who emulate other people and can transform themselves to anyone or anything else. That was on a philosophical discussion about the actor's "job". She wasn't making a statement against trans people, in any way. She was a USB stick by the end of Lucy in 2014, she was just pointing out the obvious and then it was taken entirely out of context, and I swear my eyes will one day get stuck rolled at the back of my head, reading yet another tree "joke".
Supports paedophiles: No. What she's said is that she's known Woody Allen personally for 20 years, and that he's told her he didn't abuse his daughter, and that she believes him. That he isn't a paedophile. That is in no way "supporting paedophiles". Do I agree with this? No. I think Woody Allen is a questionable figure, at best, but I can sorta understand her position. I've said this before, I don't know how I would feel if a friend of mine was hated by the general public because he was accused of doing a horrendous crime that had actually never been proven (or disproven), and therefore I can't judge her for deciding to stand by him on this, I don't think I would have been able to do the same, but Scarlett has proven that she'll say what she believes and deal with the consequences. Fair enough.
That's it anon. Thank you for sitting around for one last rant. If Scarlett has been accused for some other shit while I was writing this, maybe for killing Kermit the frog, who knows at this point, please, don't slide in my inbox, I'm done with this and I'm certainly not above blocking. Go on and live your guilt free life, stanning white men who have done waaaay more questionable things than most female celebrities could ever hope to do in a lifetime, and yet get away from scot free for you to drool over without shame.
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tomtenadia · 3 years
Text
A Little Braver - Chapter 2
I think I will be brave as well and post chapter 2.
In the chapter when Rowan muses about his call sign he uses the term FNG - it literally mean Fucking new guy. In US military it describes a newcomer.
Enjoy the chapter!
--------
The next morning Rowan was on his way to the fire station. He had left the house a bit early to allow for traffic or getting lost. In the end he had arrived with ten minutes to spare. He parked the car along the road and walked to the main area in front of the station and stopped. 
The tall training building was on fire and a few people were outside in front of it as if in waiting. He searched for the captain but she was not there. He wanted to go and ask to the team about her whereabouts but did not want to interrupt the training session. So he just decided to lean against a wall of the fire station, arms folded at his chest and just watch the drill. 
He was curious about why they were not using the truck or water and wondered if they were following a specific exercise.
Being a fighter pilot was full of risks but by looking at the raging fire and thinking that there were people willingly putting themselves through that inferno made him shiver. He’d rather been strapped in a metal cage than in a house on fire.
All of a sudden a figure ran out of the building carrying what looked like a dummy and two more followed.  He gasped when he recognised the captain. The dummy she was carrying on her shoulders must have weighed a ton and he was impressed. He followed her, dumping the dummy on the ground and joining the tall blonde man and pat him on the shoulder looking happy. His lips turned up in a hint of a smile.
Her eyes met his and she gave him a huge smile and Rowan straightened up and pulled away from the wall. She walked to him while unbuttoning her bulky fireproof jacket.
“Morning Captain,” she brushed her hair away from her face and Rowan’s heart started to race.
“Enjoyed the show?”
He cleared his voice while he tried to gain some sense again “That was fascinating.”
“Can you give me twenty minutes to have a very quick shower and get changed? You don’t want to be in a meeting with a stinky woman.”
Captain Whitethorn nodded “Take your time.”
“You can go and meet the guys. They are a friendly bunch.” She offered “just ignore the lewd jokes.”
“Thank you for the head’s up.”
Aelin ran away and he gathered some courage and walked to the team. He was not the best around people he did not know, but he wanted to play nice.
He took another step and the tall blond man noticed him and walked with purpose toward him and offered him his hand “Captain Whitethorn isn’t it?”
Rowan nodded.
“Aelin told us you were coming. I am Lieutenant Ashryver.”
Rowan nodded and studied the man in front of him and noticed that his posture and attitude screamed military. After he had spent all his adult life in the force he had gotten used to spot one of them. He had the same feeling at the base during the fire. 
“Can I introduce you to our team?”
“Gladly.”
Aedion turned to the red-haired woman “Ladies first. This is Ansel. Never leave her and Aelin alone because then you are in trouble.”
“Hey, I’ll tell her you said that and she will put you on truck cleaning duties for a month.” Aedion ignored her and continued “then here we have Brullo, Nox, Ress, Ren and finally Luca.” He grabbed the young man’s shoulder “he is our probie. He finished the academy and he joined us a few months ago. For now he is coming to the less serious calls but we are planning on coddling him a bit less and make him see the real stuff as well.”
Then the man turned around, scanning the area in search for something or someone “we also have two EMTs, Elide and Lysandra but they must be around the station doing something. You will meet them anyway.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you all.”
“Everyone, clean up and don’t leave everything to Luca. All of you haul ass. Nox, Ren you are on equipment duty. Ansel, Ress you two are on uniform checks. Brullo, take Luca with you and go over him some truck procedures for before and after calls. Now away all of you.”
Rowan chuckled. The man was definitely ex military. 
“Where did you serve?” He asked the man taking a chance.
“I was in the army. I was an artillery specialist. Once I retired Aelin called me saying her station was looking for recruits and I applied for the job. Guess my experience with explosives and such was a plus. Many years later I am still here and still loving it.” Then he studied the Captain “how did you guess?”
“Your posture. It’s the stick up your arse, as Captain Galathynius would say, that gets drilled into you from day one. The way you give order, again, very familiar.”
“Call her Aelin, Cap or Captain. She hates being called Captain Galathynius.”
Rowan raised a eyebrow with curiosity for that statement.
“I usually call her brat or menace.” Aedion chuckled “she is my cousin. I have known her since we were little. I have earned that privilege.”
Aedion started walking back into the station and Captain Whitethorn followed him.
“She has the bas habit of not filtering what she wants to say, can be brash and very vocal when she is mad at something or someone, but she loves her job and her team. She loves being a firefighter. She might be young be she is extremely capable. She is the first female captain. Absurd to think that before her it was just a boy’s club, eh?” The man joked, and lead him into a big spacious room with a lone table and chair and a kitchen at the bottom of it “If she keeps likes this I can see her climbing up the ladder pretty quickly, although I cannot imagine her in a desk job.”
Rowan knew very little about the woman but he had the same feeling.
“This is where we spend most of the time when we are on shift, all tasks are done and just wait for a call. We have books, video-games, tv… you name it. And like all families we fight for who controls the remote.”
Aelin joined them a moment later “Are you giving our Captain the tour?”
“Yes, just the cheap tour for now. You can give him the proper one later.” Aedion winked at her.
“I guess that after our meeting, the Captain will be more than happy to get rid of me.
“I gave you a tour of the base, I would love a tour of the station.”
Aelin’s mouth almost fell open in disbelief.
“If you are not fed up with me we can think about it.” And she turned around and walked away the same way he did the day before. 
Aedion gestured with his head to follow her and Rowan ran after her.
“I am sorry for the delay. Once I got back to work yesterday I had an email saying that our annual performance review is due in three weeks. I did not have a way to contact you otherwise I would have pushed the meeting forward a bit.”
“It was actually interesting watching you guys train.” He followed her to her office and took the seat she offered “we have performance reviews as well. What do you guys have to do?”
Aelin was caught off guard by him being talkative all of a sudden “We get tested on our abilities. We usually go to the academy, are given a scenario and the whole team has to work as if that was a real call. We also get to perform some individual tasks and those are timed. It’s a very stressful period.”
“You can leave our project to me until you are done with your review. I am happy to give you an update and you can come once a week to check how things are progressing if you are too busy.”
“Are you trying to get rid of me, Captain?” She smiled at him, leaning back in her chair.
He shook his head and she noticed him finally relaxing and sitting more comfortably in his chair “we have those review as well and they are always stressful for the team and I am aware how much of my time, preparing drills takes me. I am offering you to concentrate on your mission ahead for now and then catch up in three weeks.”
Was he actually being nice to her?
“I will be fine captain, but thank you for the offer. I appreciate it.”
“If you change your mind, my offer will still be on the table.”
“So,” she said quite abruptly changing the subject. If he even thought she needed his help because she was a woman he was in for a tough ride.
Aelin grabbed a folder with her plan. She had spent the entire previous day working on it. “These are the copies for you.” And she passed him a pile of papers “they are the ideas and changes I would like to suggest. I believe that is the part you will have to discuss with your CO. the biggest and probably most time consuming change is the extra door. All the other suggestions are repairs and perhaps replacements of old parts. I would like to explain again that these changes are not up for discussion. They need to happen.”
Captain Whitethorn nodded “I have discussed the matter with my CO after our meeting and he understands that and agrees. He promised me that he will fight until the last ditch if they start blocking him with budget bullshit, his exact words.”
“Please tell Air Commodore Salvaterre that I appreciate his cooperation. It goes in the interest of every single person who works at the base. Him included.”
“This pile here is a draft of possible training sessions for both your squadron and the ground crew. I want basic fire prevention training, fire extinguisher training, reviews of fire drills. I would like to do some training, especially with the ground crew on fuels handling, fuel storing and clearing spillages. Your squadron will be welcome as well. I think it will benefit everyone.” She flipped through her notes “I would like to nominate a couple of people as Fire champions or any other name we can come up with. Their role would be to perform monthly deep inspections and weekly spot checks. The idea is that by doing this, you are always on the ball with any problems. Of course we will provide training on how to do all this.” She kept explaining and the man in front of her listened to her with great interest, never interrupting her. 
“Needless to say that fire prevention is everyone’s job. See it, report it. And if you can, fix it.” She jotted down a few things “of course all of this depends on our rosters. I don’t know how it works for you guys but we work in shift patterns.”
“My squadron and I, we work Monday to Friday when we are ground-side. Ground staff such as engineers for example, they tend to follow shift patterns as well. I can talk to the supervisors for the mechanics and engineering team and see if I can get a roster from them. They are aware of the fact that extra training is on its way.”
“Please do. I have a feeling that will be the biggest job.”
“Do you have any questions for me so far?”
“Which venue will we use?”
Aelin tapped her pen on the table “I was thinking here if it’s okay with you. We have the equipment, also we don’t have maximum security checks.”
“Speaking of security…” he extracted something from his pocket “`I have your badge.”
Aelin took the badge he offered in surprise.
“I imagine we will be working together quite a lot and you will need to visit the base as well on a regular basis. You have now the badge with consultant clearance. It’s not a lot, but it will grant you access to all the are you will need. And no more forms to fill.”
“Thank you, captain,” she was speechless “Thank you for trusting me.”
She smiled fondly at him and Rowan realised he’d do literally anything to see that smile. It was intoxicating.
They worked for a few hours and Aelin realised it was not as bad as she had feared. The captain had been very keen to listen to her plans and making suggestions according to his knowledge of the base and his team. He had also looked a bit less uncomfortable and more willing to have a full conversation instead of monosyllables. At least it was progress and since it looked like they were going to work together for a while it was a good thing. 
When her stomach grumbled loudly she coughed embarrassed to try and cover it but the very faint hint of a grin on the captain’s lips told her that he had head her.
“We can stop for lunch, captain.”
Aelin almost blushed “I guess so. I think I have a black hole forming in my stomach. Those drills always leave me famished.” She stood “there is a lovely diner very nearby. Can I interest you in lunch? It’s on me. But no shop talk.” She was ready for a refusal but the captain stood and nodded.
“I’d like lunch.”
When they left the office they met Elide and Lysandra carrying boxes full of supplies to stock the ambulance. As soon as Rowan noticed he jumped forward and offered to help Elide.
“Let me carry them. They are quite bulky.”
“Thank you,” said the woman flashing a smile to Aelin then showed the captain the direction to the ambulance.
“Where do I place it?” He asked once they were arrived. Elide opened the back door of the vehicle “just here. Lys and I will sort through everything. Thank for the help.”
Lysandra dropped all her stuff and turned to the two captains.
“These are Lysandra and Elide, they are our two resident EMTs.”
“Ladies, this is captain Whitethorn.”
Lysandra mouthed hot to Aelin and the woman rolled her eyes. 
“The captain and I were going for lunch. Could you please tell Aedion to man the fort for me while I am away? I am just going to Emrys and I have a radio with me if anything happens.”
The woman nodded “I know the drill. Go, enjoy lunch.”
The two captains left “we are walking. The place is just down the road. We are all regulars there.”
Five minutes later they reached the small diner and Rowan thought the place looked cosy and felt like the good old fashioned family run restaurant.
“Emrys and his husband Malakai have been running this place since forever. It’s an institution in the neighbourhood.”
“Aelin, my girl.” A very smiling Emrys walked from behind the counter and went to hug the woman “Are you keeping well?”
“Of course.”
“Two today?” He asked looking at the Aelin’s companion.
“Yes please. Can we sit anywhere?”
“Go ahead.” He gestured pointing at the tables.
“Quiet today?”
“Not at all. You just missed the rush. Until twenty minutes ago we were full. Malkai is delivering an order to the police station.”
Aelin walked to the table near the window and invited Rowan to join her.
“Here’s the menu for your friend. Let me know when you are ready to order.”
Rowan took the menu, opened it and lowered his head to start reading it.
Aelin studied him for a moment while he was distracted. Stared at his hands and noticed the hint of a tattoo sneaking from underneath the uniform. Interesting, she would have never pinned the man as someone who would have a tattoo. A smile tugged at her lips. A part of her wanted quite badly to get to know him a bit more. “Your hair,” she asked “has it always been silver or it became like that with age?” Then she stopped embarrassed “I mean I am not saying that you look old. I just meant as if it got like that as you grew up.”
He lifted his head from the menu and his piercing green eyes settled on her “I was born like this. Apparently it runs in my family.”
“I am sorry, I didn’t mean to pry. I was just curious.”
He gave her a half a smile. It did not linger. It was quick and for a second she thought she had imagined it “I am used to it.” He tapped on the plastic menu “you haven’t decided yet?”
“Oh no, I don’t need a menu. I know it by heart and I know what I want.”
Emrys came back and both placed their orders and Aelin enjoyed the shocked expression on the captain.
“You can’t possibly eat all that stuff.”
“Watch me.”
The silence grew uncomfortable again. It looked as if he was chatty only when it came to work.
“Why did you join the airforce?”
For a moment he looked stunned at her question “I was eighteen and fresh out of high school. Happy I was done studying. My parents wanted me to go to uni, but the idea of spending four more years on books was not for me.” He explained and noticed she had he hands folded under her chin “One day I met Lorcan. We knew each other from before already, being both from Wendlyn and all. It was nice to see a friendly face in a new place. Anyway, he told me he had moved here to Terrasen with the TAF. He told me they were recruiting and I went to the base during an open day. The day after I had signed up and a month later I was starting pilot academy.”
“Where in Wendlyn?”
“Doranelle.”
“I was there once. On holiday with…” no, not time yet “with a friend. We loved it very much.”
He nodded “It’s a nice place, but I must admit that after so many years I feel like an adopted citizen of Terrasen. Orynth is quite a gorgeous place.”
Emrys came with their food and Rowan noticed how skilfully placed all the plates on the table. As if he was used to have all those orders from her.
“You can’t be serious and actually eat all this food.”
Aelin tackled her first plate “watch the pro at work, captain.” She gave him a smile and Rowan shook his head and tackled his food.
“Why firefighter?”
He noticed her still for a second and the happiness wash away from her face in an instant. Fuck. Wrong question already.
“I was eight.” She said playing with her food for a moment “I was out playing with some of my friends. I was on my way home when I saw two massive fire trucks in front of my house and my home on fire.” She placed the fork on the plate “I ran toward the house but this fireman stopped me. I was crying and calling for my parents. He hugged me, he told me they were working to try and save my parents. I remember trashing in his arms to get free but he held me tight.” She took a bit to keep herself busy while telling the story “he took me to the back of the engine and showed me some of the tools and explained to me how the engine worked. He distracted me while his colleagues worked to stop the fire and save my parents.” She finally met his gaze “it took them almost two hours to kill the fire. After that there was nothing left of the house and of my life. My parents had been found dead in the house. The gas boiler has suffered a fault and basically exploded. They stood no chance.”
“Aelin I am…” his hand moved slowly closer to hers and brushed it gently “I am so sorry.”
“When I grew up I decided I wanted to be like the firemen who attended my fire. I wanted to rush into a house on fire and try to save some person’s parents of spouse and help them avoid the loss I suffered. I wanted to be like the man who stood with me and distracted me.”
Her finger lifted a little and met his almost in acknowledgement “Aedion’s family took me in. As soon as I finished high school I was like you. I had no interest in uni. So I signed up for the fire academy.”
“Sorry for ruining lunch.”
She shook her head and flicked his finger playfully. That had been the first contact between them. He had always kept his distance and that little flicker of affection made he heart flutter. The man was a puzzle. He could go from stone cold bastard to this in a small amount of time.
Aelin finished her food and noticed the captain staring at her with curiosity.
“I cannot believe it.”
“Told you,” she smiled at him with a smug expression “and I am even going to get cake.”
“No you are not.”
In defiance she stood and went to the counter and ordered chocolate hazelnut cake from Emrys. She came back and sat down again and ate the whole slice.
“Remind me to apply for a mortgage if I ever take you out for dinner.” At those words Rowan froze. He did not mean to do say that. It was supposed to be a joke but he should have learned by now that he was bad at making jokes.
“I’ll keep that in mind, Iceman.”
His head shoot up and looked at her. She had used his callsign. Something that only his squadron members would ever use. They all had one. It was a tradition. But it also meant something. It was always the other pilots in the team who choose the callsign. Never the pilot himself. It was a rite of passage that welcome you in the squadron. In a family. He got his one because of his hair. Everyone thought it was because he was cool and calm under pressure but no. When he was still one of the FNG he went through his naming ceremony like all the others FNG and they had decided he was going to be iceman because with his hair he reminded them of a creature from the snowy glaciers of the Staghorn mountains, hence iceman. Hearing her calling him like that made his heart skip a beat.
“We don’t have call signs. We got nicknames but nothing official like you guys.” She polished the plate from the chocolate left from the cake “the guys usually call me Captain or Cap. Aedion is the worst. Because he is my cousin he takes the liberty to call me brat or menace. I should really write him up for insubordination.”
She tapped his hand “come on grampa, let’s get back to work.” And stood. Rowan had wanted to grab that hand and hold it for a moment. It felt as if a small shift had happened in their weird work relationship.
Aelin paid for the meal as promised and they walked back to the station “are you sure you will be able to concentrate with all that food in you?”
On the way back Aelin looked up at the sky and noticed a few flakes that had started to follow. “Looks like it’s going to snow.”
She turned her head and caught Rowan sniffing the air, the eyes closed and a relaxed expression. The hard lines of his face had disappeared and the faint smile on his lips changed him completely. Yes, the man was hot but there was more to it. The very rare times that his face softened his eyes lit up as well turning a deeper green and made him stunning. She had a feeling those moments were rare and was glad that she had caught at least a couple. Like right now, his body relaxed enjoying the first flakes of snow. That was a precious insight in the man at her side.
“You like winter?” She broke the magic.
His eyes snapped open and his face turned hard again as if he hated being caught enjoying something.
“I do.” He said softly “I love the snow and winters in Terrasen are incredible.
Aelin smiled. His scent. His scent reminded her of Terrasen. Pine and snow. She had smelled it the other day while she was inside his plane and he was quite close to her. He smelled like winter and realised for a second that the nickname Iceman was perfect as well for that reason and not just because he could be a cold hearted bastard. They got back to the station and she found it quiet apart from Brullo and Luca near the fire engine. Apparently the man was explaining the youngster some of the routine checks they performed. He was their resident engineer and mechanic so he was the best one for that type of training.
“Nice lunch, Cap? Did you eat all the food at Emrys?”
“The vegetables are still there. They are safe.” Aelin turned when noticed that the joke came from Rowan.
Brullo and Luca burst out laughing “oh he is good.” Added the older man.
“My eating habits are the joke of the station.”
“Cap, they are insane.” Added Luca.
Aelin turned to Rowan and he lifted and eyebrow as if to say I agree with them.
She turned again on her colleagues “one more joke from the two of you and I’ll have you scrub the station from top to bottom with a toothbrush.” Then she turned on her feet and walked away to her office. 
Rowan tapped his hat in salute to the two men and followed her. He found her in the kitchen making coffee “Do you drink coffee?”
“I don’t think I could function without it.”
“Good. We basically drink it by the litre. It keeps you alive on a night shifts.”
She made some coffee and offered him a mug “milk, sugar?”
“Black, thank you.”
He watched her as she dropped two spoonfuls of sugar in it “All this sugar is not good for you.”
“Shhh you heathen.”
He rolled his eyes and took a sip of his coffee “Thank you for lunch by the way.”
“My treat, for working with me.” She apologised, while leaning against the counter and drinking her coffee.
“You are not as bad as I thought. I agree with Aedion, you are a brat and a menace but I can work with that.” Bad idea. Rowan noticed anger flash in her eyes.
“I am not having you calling me that.” She slammed the cup on the counter “you barely know me and I have been professional, sure if cracking a joke or two makes me a brat it’s your problem you need sense of humour. I have been busting my ass to fix the shit that went down in your station.” She took a step toward him and Rowan braced himself “I know how I run my station. I am aware of every single problem or fault that happens here. Your fucking hangar went down in a blaze of glory and you had no idea of the shitstorm about to happen.” She was now a few mere centimetres from his face and a foolish part of him wanted to push her against the counter and kiss her senseless. She was mad at him and all he thought was how her lips would feel. What was wrong with him?
“Don’t ever call me that again with that smug face of your because I have no problems removing that smirk with a punch.”
Rowan kept staring at her in silence, not risking saying a word while she was that mad at him. Damn the woman had fire in her. And it did not matter he was getting a well deserved lashing down from her, he could not stop thinking that she was beautiful. Not just physically, she was fierce, brave and passionate and he was irremediably drawn to her.
Which it was totally crazy since they had met the day before.
“Now get the fuck out of my station. We are done for today.” And she stepped back.
“Captain, I did not mean to offend you.”
“I said out.” She repeated through gritted teeth “I have your contact. I will let you know when I am in the mood to meet you again.” She grabbed her coffee and walked away from him.
Rowan stood still and stared at the spot where she had been. He ran a hand through his hair and cursed himself for his stupidity. They had finally set aside the bad start they had, and messed up everything again.
He picked up his cap on the counter and then realised he had left all the documents in her office. He was about to walk to her but then changed his mind bad idea. So he just left the station, got back to his car and drove back to the base.
Aelin was furious. Why did he have to go and ruin everything with his bloody mouth of his?
That beautiful mouth of his.
She paced the office for ten minutes then she left, went to changing room and changed into her training gear. Some exercise will do her good to clear her head.
Aedion found her twenty minutes later “here you are,” he shouted as she ran back and forth in the yard with a dummy on her shoulders.
“Aelin!” He shouted when she did not stop. When she ignored him again he went in front of her and stopped her “Aelin.”
“What?” She growled dropping the dummy on the ground with a loud thump. She was breathless.
“I thought you were with the captain.”
She ignored him and grabbed the dummy again but Aedion stopped her and grabbed her hand “did something happened?”
“Yes, he happened. He is an arsehole and I don’t know why I am bothering to help him.”
“Because it’s your job.”
“Well, he can go and ask west station for all I care.”
Aedion shook his head “they are in our territory.”
Aelin ran a hand through her hair.
“Did he do something to you? Because if he did I am very good at hand to hand combat. I’ll destroy his stiff arse.”
Aelin chuckled. Aedion had always been very protective with her.
“He called me a brat and a menace. He said that I am not as bad as he thought and that he agrees with you for my nicknames.”
Aedion laughed “that’s why you are mad at him? Ace, I love you but you can be both.”
She sat down on the dummy “I know. But if you say it it doesn’t bother me. We grew up together. You know me better than anyone. He instead…” she punched the dummy’s face “he had this smug face and he used this tone like a condescending prick.”
She groaned “you can be a brat and a menace but I can work with it,” she repeated in a mocking tone “I am the one doing him a favour to help him. Idiot.”
“You just want to find an excuse to hate him and push him away from you.” He sat down on the dummy beside her “Ace, could it be that you like him but you are still too scared to allow another man in your life?”
“No. I have known the guy for two days. And no, I do not like him.” She protested.
“Would it be that bad?”
Aelin stood and faced him “I am not interested in getting any closer to him than what works dictates. Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie.
“You are overreacting and you are behaving like a brat and proving him right.”
She pushed him off the dummy “you are on truck duty for the whole week.” Aelin grabbed the dummy and went back to her training.
Rowan finally made it back to the base and went straight to his office but Lorcan intercepted him.
“You are back early. I thought you were going to be at the station all afternoon.”
Rowan ignored his CO and plopped on his chair and closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
“That bad, eh?” Joked Lorcan at the man’s reaction.
“I opened my damn mouth. That’s what I did.”
Lorcan sat on the chair on the opposite side of the desk “What did you do? I thought you were the guy who counted till ten before opening his mouth. That’s why I gave you this assignment. I need this to go smoothly and fix all the shit that the old CO messed up. If I wanted to piss off the TFD’s captain I would have sent Moonbeam.”
Rowan snorted “probably would have been better. Far more charming than this cranky old bastard.”
“I have seen the woman. Fenrys would end up fucking everything. Literally.”
Lorcan sat back relaxed “I am coming to the station tomorrow and I will talk to her and bring her back into our good books.”
“You?” Rowan scoffed “if there is someone who has a worse temper than me is you, Lorcan.”
“I’ll be my charming self.” The man joked.
“The gods save us all.” Rowan joked standing and pacing the office “trying to scare her will not work either.”
“I noticed that. I wish some of our men would have that level of balls. Quite amazing for a woman.” Rowan’s head snapped at his CO’s words.
“Don’t even dare say anything like that in her face or you are a dead man.”
He and Lorcan would go along on most of the days but on some concepts, Lorcan still followed the good old fashioned ideas that for example females were not suited for the military, a topic they had many fights on. Rowan had tried to open up the ranks to a few more females in the squadron but Lorcan had rejected the idea every single time.
“You know how I feel about those things.”
“Yes, our very progressive man. Equality and all.”
“You can be such an arsehole.” Rowan stopped at the window “even the Navy is accepting women. Their recruitment for female officers is up by 40%. We are still to celebrate when we will have our first female officer.”
Lorcan growled “well, then move to the Navy.” He stood annoyed “flying a jet is not like service on an aircraft carrier!”
Rowan turned furious “you are not seriously telling me that you don’t believe a woman could fly a jet.” He slammed his fist on the table “I have seen Aelin in action and during drills. I have seen her jump into a building on fire without any second thought to save one of our men. I have seen her drag a dummy twice her size off a burning building while wearing the fire suit and an oxygen tank on her shoulder. She could probably do a vertical, pull 9G and then get off the plane and have a dance in our face. She is definitely not the fragile thing you think she is just because she is a woman.”
“What is your point?”
“Stop being a misogynist prick.”
Rowan phone went off and Lorcan moved away “if you are coming tomorrow, you leave that attitude behind.” Lorcan left and Rowan took the call. Once he was done he sat back down on his chair and looked outside noticing the snow falling and a gentle smile tugged his lips at the memory of the moment they had shared at the restaurant. He had to apologise. And quickly.
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qqueenofhades · 3 years
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so…now that we all know what you DISLIKE about star wars (and 400% fairly so, you have my full support here)…
what drew you into the universe, what keeps you around?
favorite characters, ships (OTPs or actual spaceships lol), overall themes, do you have a favorite random weird creature or robot that you adore? whatever you wanna talk about!
go off honey (again, but supportively 💖💖💖)
tax paid: the very nerdy star wars punk vest i made and the even nerdier matching vest i made for starsky
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Lmaooo, entirely valid. You were like "star wars?" and I was like the drunk person at the bar who can't stop shouting about how much their ex sucks. But now that I have gotten all that off my chest, let's talk about why I love it (since if I didn't love it, I wouldn't have such strong opinions). Basically my feelings on the OG SW trilogy are similar to my feelings on the OG LOTR trilogy, as that tumblr post floating around somewhere put it: sure, they have flaws, but also, they're perfect. I have a complicated relationship with the prequels, as do we all, since George Lucas cannot write dialogue or direct actors to save his life (stick to what you're good at, George, hire other people to do the rest), but even they have their moments. Like. Hit me with that "Across the Stars" love theme, John Williams. Gahh. Just like that.
Because... Star Wars wasn't actually this omnipresent corporate global entertainment monolith when it started out. It was a dorky low-budget indie sci-fi film in the 1970s which everyone thought was going to bomb. But it told a simple and compelling story in an interesting way, everyone agrees that ESB is one of the best films/sequels ever made, and then ROTJ gave it a happy ending while it was still okay to do that. My main thematic gripe with the Disney trilogy (I will try to keep those to a minimum, lol, but I have to bring it up to compare) is that it very clearly fell into the "actual happy endings are naive and unrealistic and a cynical postmodern audience won't accept anything less than things being Bad" trap that, yet again, we have GOT to thank for. It obviously existed to some degree before that, but GOT blew it up to huge levels, where the only valid situation or character is that which is Grimdark and Depressing. Which, in my view, misses the heart and soul of what SW is all about??
Like. ESB is genuinely dark. ANH was this fun plucky little sci-fi film where the scrappy good guys won the day against the Nazi stand-ins, as they were supposed to, and then ESB comes along (speaking of John Williams, let us all chant together, DUH DUH DUH DUHDUHDUH DUHDUHDUH, DUH DUH DUH DUHHHH DUHHH DUHHH DUHHHH) and things go... wrong. Leia and Han are on the run for most of the movie, then get captured and tortured by the Empire and and betrayed (however unwillingly) by Lando. The Rebellion is attacked on Hoth (I tell you, those fuckin AT-AT walkers were SCARY when you see it as a young kid for the first time), and forced into hiding. Luke loses his hand, doubts Obi-Wan and Yoda and realizes that his mentors are fallible, makes dumb mistakes, and of course gets hit with The Most Famous Line In Movie History. But it's also just adrenaline and excitement. THE ASTEROID FIELD! THE HAN-LEIA BANTER! THE FIRST LUKE-VADER DUEL! THE FACT THAT YOU HEAR TWO FRICKING NOTES OF THE IMPERIAL MARCH AND YOU'RE JUST LIKE OH YEAH OH YEAH OH YEAHHHH!
But also then... Return of the Jedi. It gets shat upon for the Ewoks and reusing the Death Star as the Big Bad and being supposedly cheesy and not as Thematically Dark as ESB. Which is all kinda silly, in my opinion, but also, can we talk about Luke Skywalker's character arc and how he chooses possibly the most radical compassion ever demonstrated by a hero in an action movie, let alone a space opera. He insists that Anakin Skywalker is still in there somewhere and puts his own neck on the line to prove it. Luke doesn't save the galaxy by being a Badass Jedi. He saves it by throwing away his lightsaber and saying "I will not fight you, Father." He saves it by trusting that even in the depths of darkness, Anakin can come back from the charred ruins of Darth Vader and finally do what he was supposed to do all along. He can end Palpatine for good and all (we don't talk about "Somehow Palpatine has returned" because it's nonsense, obviously). Anakin can avenge the Jedi and what was done to him and all the lies he believed and the pain he wreaked on the galaxy, even then. It's not too late. It's not too late. Like. I don't care if this is Lightweight or Childish or whatever. It makes me CRY every time I watch it. Especially the moment where Luke takes off Anakin’s helmet and sees how ruined he actually is under there, and yet the downfall and death of the trilogy’s chief villain is not triumphant at all but instead utterly heartbreaking. “You were right about me Luke... tell your sister... you were right.”
Excuse me, I need to just /CRIES INTENSELY/
Luke won't be tempted to the dark side for his own sake, but Leia's ("If you will not join me, then perhaps she will"). I likewise hold firmly that Anakin/Vader is one of the best movie villains/antiheroes of all time and likewise have many feelings and Strong Opinions about his arc, prequel writing clumsiness and eye-rollingly tepid love story aside. (See: he and Obi-Wan were deeply in love and in a way they still are, don't @ me. I have no problems with Padme and obviously stan Natalie Portman at all times, but Anakin and Obi-Wan’s relationship is the real love story, the heart of the prequels, and in some ways even the subsequent movies, the end.) And “so this is how democracy dies, with thunderous applause” is... raw af as a line. For being in a Star Wars prequel movie. What?? (Also, the Revenge of the Sith novelization had no business being as good as it was. If only that dude had also written the movie.)
Anyway, my point is: the OG trilogy had plenty of moments of staggering emotional weight and where things genuinely sucked for the good guys and the outcome wasn’t entirely clear. The difference is that it didn’t choose to dwell on them, and it allowed for a transformative fictional space where a happy ending, fiercely fought for and squarely earned, was the right outcome. We didn’t need to go back thirty years later and make everything suck for fear that a cynical modern audience couldn’t connect with it otherwise. (Like I said, we didn’t need the new movies at all, but Disney heard that Cha-Ching of the Almighty Dollar). Star Wars was sci-fi, sure, but it also had the fantasy elements that allowed a happy ending to be the right choice for what we saw the characters go through and the philosophy that carried us through the original trilogy.
Likewise it’s just... Peak as far as dynamics go. C-3PO the fussy metal butler who worries about Everything and R2-D2 who is the droid embodiment of YOLO? Flawless. Sassy scruffy space pirate and badass politician warrior princess bicker constantly, butt heads, drive each other crazy, and then fall in love? Iconic. (And has shaped my ship tastes for... all of eternity, oops.) The above-discussed transformation of Luke Skywalker, whiny ordinary teenage kid, to the truly great man who fulfills what Obi-Wan, Yoda, AND the rest of the entire Jedi order couldn’t manage to do, because of their own flaws and blind spots and black-and-white moral views that didn’t know what to do with a man who loved as passionately as Anakin Skywalker, for better or for worse? The guy who managed to save the galaxy with love? STAN.
So... what? The Disney trilogy decides to retcon all that, throw everything that they’ve fought for out the window, make Han, Leia, and Luke miserable and rejecting the roles they grew into in the original trilogy, and die without ever really reuniting or seeing each other again as a trio? The underlying message was that “these happy endings aren’t satisfactory/realistic/sophisticated enough” and idk, maybe it’s just the shitshow of the last few years, but I’d like to see some entertainment that had the cojones to tell me that despite all the darkness and despair, maybe there’s a chance for hope. (”Rebellions are built on hope,” thank you Only Valid New Star Wars Movie Rogue One.) And Rogue One worked so well, despite being utterly GUTTING as all the heroes died one by one, because we knew what was coming next (A New Hope) and that their sacrifice was going to be worth it. I don’t care if that’s “realistic” or not. As I’ve said before, that’s what stories are for, and if I only wanted things that were Real Life, I would only read the news. Besides, the idea that happy endings never happen in reality is equally bullshit. We as a culture need to accept that more, instead of finding reasons to tear everything down.
So just... yes. The original trilogy might have flaws, but also, it’s perfect. And do I want to rewatch it all now? Kinda.
(Anyway. I warned you this was gonna be long. Oh look, it’s long, and I’m sure there is even more I could say, but still. Ahem.)
sleepover weekend asks
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kth1 · 3 years
Note
why do you like taegi the most?
i’ve had this ask sitting in my inbox for a hot minute because i wanted to be able to respond when i had the time to lay out a novel. maybe... i don’t know how long this will be but here we go bubs. thank you for asking in advance! 
for starters... kim taehyung. 
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my ultimate. the man that choses me no matter what i did. i admire him, aspire to be more like him, and adore him to all extremes. from his younger years and to present years, this guy really sticks out with personality for me. (yes he’s attractive but like, it’s really the personality that makes me coo).  i could actually feel a vibe/energy toward taehyung in which in some sort of mystical au where i could meet him, i feel like i’d connect with him very well (you can disagree, idc). this is just my perception. yes, he’s a lump of an enigma and that’s exactly what i like about him. you never fully know what you’re getting with tae besides the fact that you know you don’t know what you’re going to get! the element of him being spontaneous and can reach all ends of the spectrum from animation really appeals to me. deep down, i feel like he is a very sensitive soul, things bother him quiet often but he masks. and with that mask he makes a great conversationalist because i believe he knows how to be appropriate with pushing back biased thoughts to be able to hear out others - however i feel like he runs into people who don’t understand or are willing to hear him out in return. sure he has trouble expressing things from time to time, but i think it’s because of the emotions and thoughts that course through him are nondefinitive. you have to know and learn tae to get and understand tae. (not disregarding any of the others when i speak this, btw) he is honestly, truly amazing in my eyes and that’s probably one of the main reasons why i feel toward him the most. he can be soft, cuddly, and kind. he as an earth sign supports the stereotypes of down to earth, wise, and also ambitious. also, tae can pull out some ruthless, playful, tactics out of left field because that’s just how he is - and we love all sides of him (or what he wants to show us). his constant creativeness is enjoyable, how many times does tae want to go against the standard? nearly all the time! and he pulls it off! because i feel like tae doesn’t fully care to be the same, he wants to be himself. and that’s so utterly sexy of him you have no idea. (again, you can disagree with me) but sometimes i personally feel like i can be very similar to tae in many ways, with thoughts, feelings, and creative drives. i feel we both attempt to put on our fronts, try to remain humble and respectful. understand we are just humans and we are the same. and also can be quick to call out the suspicious acts so bluntly because our bullshit meter is always running. not to mention, both he and i enjoying being dramatically extra for no apparent reason sometimes. this is how i conclude the fermented idea in my mind that maybe, just maybe, i would make a great friend with tae if i ever had a chance. 
mr. min yoongi.
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this many radiates comfort and i feel like he’s super trustworthy. yoongi is the type of person i feel like i could spill all my beans in front of, not matter how heated, sad, or excited i may be, and he’d openly accept it all. his level of patience is something i strive to have. the way he’s so witty and sharp tongued, smart, and ready to stir the pot from time to time to challenge against you is something i find remarkable and again - enjoyable. in the nicest of ways, yoongi can easily tell you how it is... and if you push the wrong buttons he can probably easily tell you how it be with more tone and harsher words. however, yoongi is straight-forward majority of the time, something i am like as well. he is a pisces with virgo moon so i feel real bad with the inner battles his brain probably constantly undergoes, all those hidden thoughts he doesn’t want to reveal to most. i feel that yoongi has such a massive intuition, a general 6th sense about him. in many occasions, i also see myself with similar personality as yoongi. those ‘tsundere’ vibes, introverted, keeps to ourselves, and randomly once we’re comfortable we ‘act out’ and surprise everyone, but they think it’s funny/cute, etc. yoongi (here i go with my delulu au’s where maggie is y/n) would be the type of person i look up to and always want to talk to - to tell him about what’s bothering me. even if i feel like im boring or annoying, i feel like i’d be able to open up to him fast because i just have that confidence and belief to him. in most cases, he acts in a calmly manner. whereas, once i loose my cool i come out very heated an aggressive because i cannot hold back as much as he can - another thing i wish i was more like. the natural, effortless and relaxed aspect of yoongi, is also very very attractive (all yoongi bias’ are going to agree to this one) but there is no lie when i speak this. he doesn’t showboat, he doesn’t parade around saying he’s the best and have a large ass ego. he is just yoongi who is doin’ himself. we like this shit. you do you booboo! 
taegi as a whole:
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yes, completely super in love with the friendship of taegi. yes, mainly because these two take all my food from my table and bid me goodnight. however, i love all the friendships between members!!! but because im a taegi fanatic because of the likeness i have to bother individuals, i will comment on their bond bc i love it. golly, where do i start? hm, for beginners... let’s just remember how taegi would typically have the most conflicting ideas, resulting in the most funny scenarios whenever they sometimes were paired up in games or something. (like holding hands because they disagree??? cute) how yoongi - to this day - tends to have a hard time changing tae’s mind / saying no to tae because tae is a wee bit stubborn and want to do / try things out. when tae always wants to be yoongi’s hype man, enjoy yoongi’s rap, verses, highest key is trying to take over all of yoongi’s parts in each rapping song because skrrt skrrt! together, taegi is very touching to me. tae admires and looks up to yoongi in so many ways, and yoongi shows such a concern in undertones towards tae is endearing. like, you can’t tell me this friendship ain’t cute. i would politely throat chop you and call you a fool. yes i’m hella biased, i know this, however i don’t care what you say against me because it is what i like to see and crave a bond like these two beans! taegi; two fun-filled people who are honest, deep, and most importantly... they are true. (not saying anyone is ‘fake’, please shake that thought from your head!!!) im saying like, true in the sense of real people. an archaic expression of being true to oneself, yourself, others, etc. they are true to most of everything (in my mind). both of these two are very commendable and you can learn a lot through them! 
this concludes my maggie rants for now. please come by another time after i recharge! i know i haven’t touched every single thing about each category, i know i have more to say but just don’t know how to say it or can’t bring all the thoughts to the table for now. thank you to the anon who prompted this question. and also thanks to whoever ends up reading this response! again, i love all the members in their own special ways! i don’t intend to disregard others but this ask caters to my personal loves. <3
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chalkrevelations · 3 years
Text
Huh.
Well, this is not the next episode reaction you were expecting, but a while back, in the middle of the night, while I was ready to cry from working on a pharmacology paper, out of nowhere, Youtube threw up Street Dance of China S3 Ep1 at me. And yeah. I am, admittedly, f’kn weak for a dance show. (There are enough SYTYCD episode reax on my old Livejournal that I feel there’s no point denying this.)
So – no, actually, wait. FIRST of all, I do NOT believe the “towel vote” we ended up being given for the opening routines from the four captains. That was the most blatant bit of bullshit chicanery I’ve seen in my LIFE, and I say this as a person with a ton of SYTYCD episode reax on my old Livejournal, and I also say this not because Wang Yibo ended up last (well, not entirely), but because I saw Wallace Chung’s routine. As someone closer in age to him than to the other three captains, I have to give him props for trying, but come on, man. The critique that Yibo got from random contestants – if the subtitles are to be believed, so I realize this needs a grain of salt - basically boiled down to “it was too good for the stage lighting.” :hands: Also, I saw your face at the reveal, Wallace, and you were as shocked as I was. No way you got more towels/votes than Wang Yibo. Not unless there’s some super wild undercurrent of nostalgia propping you up, which, I guess could happen, because literally all I know about pop culture in China, current or otherwise, is filtered through Tumblr and Youtube, both notoriously suspect, but … anyway. There’s got to be a TON of behind-the-scenes manipulation going on for Yibo to be rock-bottom with last pick of teams but then also to end up with THAT pool of possibles. Are you kidding me with this?
ANYWAY, what I wanted to say is that I actually really like Wang Yibo here, and it’s not just because he’s the only captain I have even a sliver of familiarity with, and it’s not just because Lan Wangji was banging Wei Wuxian. I do realize all of this is influenced by whatever edit they’ve decided to give a particular captain or contestant, but I’m impressed with the way Yibo immediately starts team building by getting his group into a warmup, getting them dancing together, getting them dancing with him before they have to worry about dancing for him. (I mean, come on, Jackson Wang. The way to get people to stop being nervous is not to say “Stop being nervous! It will make you fuck up!”) The way Yibo immediately recognized and responded to his group’s concerns about that one dude copying someone else’s routine probably also bought him a lot of return investment. He’s dressed to work it, in his sweats and his flannel (what IS that fake-leather TAC vest and random leg holster-looking thing, Jackson Wang?). He’s convincing me he really loves to dance, he can’t hold still while he watches the contestants, he’s wandering over into other captains’ turf when it sounds like there’s a dancer performing who he might like to see, he’s being the best Yibo he can be, and I’m grooving along, wind in my hair, totally down for this ride. He’s also adorable at the beginning when all the other captains are like, my goal for this season is to slaughter the competition and dance on their graves! And he’s like, well, I’d like to … make some friends? And learn some new stuff? I don’t know if the perpetual Humble Student schtick is natural or persona, or whether it’s general or specific to dancing, but it’s working for you, my dude. This is also made better (read: ironic), by the fact that it’s immediately before the towel reveal, when he flips over to utter disbelief and gets all sulky for a while over the “fact” that his dance routine got the least votes.
Also, OH WAIT. This is where that clip of Yibo dancing with his crew ALL OVER HIM came from that I saw floating around a few months ago, isn’t it? You’re telling me those guys had never danced together before and had like, three minutes to throw together that routine? I’m even more impressed than before. Meanwhile, the towels symbolize courage and challenge, Mr. Emcee? OK, fine, cheesy reality show blah blah whatever. Can we get to the dancing now?
I’m going to put the rest of this behind a cut, because it got super long, because it turns out, when you watch in 5-minute increments, it takes two and a half weeks to get through a single episode, but you actually can see and have opinions on all 5,328 contestants, plus every single one of the captains’ battles. Meanwhile, I’m trying to convince myself this is not going to be another series of episode reactions, but 1) I do have the benefit of not having a ton of hometown media giving me a next-day play-by-play, so even though this is six months old, everything’s a surprise; 2) I am, admittedly, f’kn weak for a dance show; and 3) it’s easy to watch in 5-minute increments between researching drug interactions in hypothetical hypertensive patients with stable ischemic heart disease, erectile dysfunction, and seasonal allergies. So, I guess we’ll see. It’ll be slow going, though, because I don’t ever have two and half hours to sit down and watch an ep cover-to-cover – if it happens, it will likely keep happening in 5-minute increments. Meanwhile, there is a metric shit-ton of nattering below the cut, so caveat lector. No, seriously, I kept adding to this little by little until it became a monster. Hashtag long post (remorseful).
OK, I am generally out of my depth here, as this is not at all my area of dance not-really-expertise, but some reactions:
Team Wang Yibo: I can see why he didn’t want to choose between Colin and Dian Men – Colin might have been a touch better technically and a better showman, but Dian Men didn’t seem to have a single wasted move – but, also, my dude. Yibo. You maybe should look a little bit less stunned and overwhelmed by the mere presence of Colin, it’s giving me ideas about your taste in men. Continuing with the powerhouses, I probably shouldn’t even attempt to critique Klash, but I did feel like he was a bit stiff in some of his footwork; that final V kick, though, shit, that’s what having that kind of upper-body strength is for. Bouboo … I mean, excellent flexibility and control, of course, but mainly I’m just terribly amused that Yibo got last pick of teams but somehow ended up with the guy who’s literal world champion, and who’s just as useful for getting into the other captains’ heads – without even trying – as he is for his talent. And then there’s a montage of Yibo giving out towel after towel after towel, and my dude, you cannot keep up this pace. There are still too many dancers to see, and you don’t have that many towels. AAANNNND Towel Battle #1 (See Footnote 1).
Team Jackson Wang: I do like Gai Gai, although that may be influenced by the fact she’s working in the twilight area between hip-hop and contemporary that I have more familiarity with - but also, I suspect she’s pretty good in her genre. I thought Xiao Jie was inconsistent and didn’t stick the landing on his initial attempt, so I have to give you that hesitation, Jackson, even though you’ve somehow ended up the villain in my inner narrative for this show, for no particular reason I can yet discern. Maybe it’s that you’re the direct competition for Yibo’s team in the towel battles. Good enough. Anyway, Xiao Jie definitely stepped up his game for the battle with Bingo, so I can kind of see why both of them got a towel, but we’re not even halfway through this, and most of y’all are giving away towels like you have an endless supply. Yang Kai is a fucking menace with fantastic musicality, and I’m just gonna say it and take the fallout - I think he gave a better performance first time out of the gate than any of Yibo’s powerhouses did. Whatever power Klash has got, whatever skill Bouboo has got, Yang Kai feels more explosive and engaging, at least in these initial showings. He’s going to be one to beat, I’d hug him too, if he was on my team and was going to help me WIN. Yibo’s probably lucky that happened during his little stroll over to check out the competition, so that he can see they’re definitely competitive and be prepared for it. Also, Jackson, I have to admit - that face you made when Chao really kicked in? That was the same face I made, because wt actual f, you have a literal secret weapon – secret because he CAME FROM NOWHERE and NO ONE EVEN KNOWS him, how is that even possible, how did he get that good – fluid, creative, controlled, incredible musicality - without anyone having any idea who he even is? And then there’s a montage of Jackson just giving out towel after towel after towel, and my dude, you need to slow down. You can’t just be like, “THEY LOVE DANCE WITH ALL OF THEIR WHOLE HEARTS!!!!1111!!!!11!” I get it, but everyone there loves dance with all of their whole hearts, and there are not enough towels to send all of them on to the next round. ANNNND, Towel Battle #1 (See Footnote 1).
Team Lay Zhang: lol at how diplomatic you’re being, Lay Zhang – your team’s fierce roar startled you, OK. At this point, I suspect you’re the street most likely to have a knife fight break out before this is all over. I do like Alex, I think he’s got a lot of interesting, super-clean details in his moves, and he’s engaging - I cannot BELIEVE you made him battle that dude whose moves were so mushy, Lay Zhang, it leaves me doubting your ability to judge this thing. At first I thought maybe you were just looking for an excuse because you wanted to see Alex freestyle, but then you actually said something about both dancers being equal, and my estimation of you plummeted, and also sadly, my sound dropped out for the actual battle, including the part where the clearly inferior dancer fell over and then accidentally POPPED ALEX ONE IN THE EYE, and I TOLD YOU SO. I do agree it’s a good idea to make dancers in the same genre do some battling, so you can kind of plan out your towels and put together a team with broad strengths, instead of giving out towels like you’re making it rain for the first 20 contestants, and then you have 1,375 more people to get through, with 3 towels left, as EVERYONE ELSE seems to be doing, so it’s nice that at least one of you guys is thinking – if not actually acting - strategically. That was clearly not even a contest, though, GIVE ALEX HIS TOWEL and send him to the next round. Xiao Bao is hilarious, with his concern that his team captain, who’s into krump, which is “beating,” isn’t going to appreciate his waacking, which is “slapping.” I also don’t know a whole lot about waacking, so thanks for the primer, Xiao Bao, and don’t worry, your performance is just as engaging for those of us who don’t know what we’re watching as you are generally. You deserve that towel for your ability to interact with and engage your audience, alone. Lingo is a good solid performance, although he’s got his team captain strategizing edited over some of it, and here’s the thing: we are 1:56:00 into this, at this point, with another half hour to go, and all of you are starting to disappear into the sea of dancers who are very good at what you do, but at generally the same level? Anyway, Lingo, I approve of your ability to interact with your audience (read: your captain) to ensure engagement, too, so keep that up. Annnd, we actually haven’t seen that much of you guys, but it’s time for Towel Battle #2 (See Footnote 2).
Team Wallace Chung: I’m glad Su Lian Ya insisted on performing, I thought she started off slow but warmed up, and that ending was creepily fantastic and had me spontaneously grinning at the screen in delight. Then we lose sight of this group for a really long time, actually. We go back to find Wallace putting through a couple of urban dancers who we barely see, but who apparently claim to have some choreography experience, and he really likes that. TI shows up, and they’re solid, but honestly, not as good in this performance as they were in some of the stock footage the show threw up to introduce them, but Wallace remains super-excited about the idea of choreography and sends at least choreographer Zhang Jiang Peng through to the next round. And then, we really haven’t seen that much of you guys, either, which maybe doesn’t bode well, but it’s time for Towel Battle #2 (See Footnote 2).
FOOTNOTE 1, aka TOWEL BATTLE ONE, Team Yibo vs. Team Jackson, 3V3 freestyle: First of all, I have to say, I love Yibo - Mr. I Just Wanna Make Some Friends And Have Some Fun - being all, “I have three crappy white towels I’m stuck with for coming in last place that I can’t use to send dancers to the next round and that I DO NOT DESERVE, and I am getting BACK the colorful towels that ARE RIGHTFULLY MINE. I am coming for whoever is in my way.” Team Yibo is Bouboo, Klash, Dian Men, and OK, given what we’ve seen so far, that’s the safe choice, but honestly, I think we’re just taking some things for granted right now, and I’m not sure they actually have given the best performances so far. Yeah, I said it. Team Jackson is Yang Kai, Chao, and Xiao Jie, and … ok, on that last one, I think you probably could have substituted Bingo, but all right. Yang Kai is a definite yes. Chao will be great if he can stay out of his own head and not psych himself out, but given what we’ve seen so far, he’s an obvious pick. First round, Yang Kai vs. Klash, and Yang Kai is still a fucking menace, with super lines. Klash definitely stepped up his game for the battle, and I can’t get over the upper body strength he’s got, to get that kind of airy bounce in his moves, but to be honest, I can’t even be mad the first round went to Yang Kai and Team Jackson. Second round, Yang Kai is still … y’all, the beautiful lines from this guy in his poses, I can’t get over them, but I think he doesn’t have the stamina, his footwork is getting sloppy. Bouboo also steps up his game for an actual battle, his fluidity and control is amazing, and yeah, round to Team Yibo. Round three, Xiao Jie gives it a decent effort, but the polish isn’t there; meanwhile Bouboo is still in champion mode, and I was kind of surprised this was a split vote and went to another round. Xiao Jie absolutely surprised me, coming back stronger on his second try, although I suppose a more familiar genre helped, but Bouboo continues in champion mode. Round four, Chao looks like he’s going to throw up right before he steps out there, and then as soon as the music starts, it’s like, he doesn’t even think. The music just moves him. I feel like his dance vocabulary is more limited than Bouboo’s, though, and Bouboo’s flow is amazing at this point, so I feel like the judges just want to drag this out and see more dancing when we go to one more round. Strong effort all around, but yeah, round four and two towels to Team Yibo. I can’t really complain about that. I do feel like Yibo’s powerhouses have been holding back until now, though, and I’m not sure how I feel about THAT.
FOOTNOTE 2, aka TOWEL BATTLE TWO, Team Zhang vs. Team Wallace, 3V3 w/ captain: lol, Team Zhang really wants someone to pick the Sailor Moon song because they know Xiao Bao and his waacking will tear it up. Anyway, Team Zhang includes Lingo and Xiao Bao, who does not get his Sailor Moon song and continues to be hilarious in his disbelief about being chosen to participate in this battle, when he’s not looking almost as sick as Chao from Team Jackson before HIS performance. Team Wallace includes Su Lian Ya – and honestly, despite how I’m getting ready to bag on him for the entire rest of this battle recap, I like that Wallace put one of his female dancers up there for the battle - and some dude named Ba that they haven’t given us any footage of, up ‘til now, at least that I can remember and who I … don’t even know has been formally given a towel and sent on to the next round, yet? Oh wait, he must have, because there’s talk in the pause for choreography about somehow using the towels during the battle. Wallace relies on Su Lian Ya and Zhang Jiang Peng to choose Ba, and then Ba ends up choreographing a lot of the performance, at least from the edit we see. I continue to feel you may be in over your head, Wallace. This feeling … is not assuaged by your performance in the first round, which is fine, but not really up to the level of almost anyone whose name I’ve bolded so far in this entire recap. Also, using the towels was a cute idea, but it doesn’t translate well, and Team Wallace has a lot of wasted time throwing the towels around instead of actually. You know. Dancing. Lingo gets a credible solo during Team Zhang’s performance, and even though Xiao Bao is clearly lost during a good bit of his backup dancer duties, he manages not to throw up, which – given this team’s general skill level – should be enough to give them the first round, EXCEPT SOMEHOW Team Wallace gets the point from the judges, who then try to justify this inexplicable decision by saying Team Wallace had better interaction, I guess because of the hot mess with throwing the towels around, but adding that Team Zhang was more scattered, which what? More scattered than the hot mess with the towels? I’m not buying this. I can’t tell if they’re propping up Wallace or fucking with Lay Zhang’s head, but I’m having bad acid flashbacks to the many and varied ways dance show judges will try to gaslight you, telling you that things you just saw with your very own eyes did not actually happen when it’s right there! On camera! Visible, despite whatever edit bs you’re pulling! ANYWAY, they’re definitely managing to fuck with not only Lay Zhang’s head, but Xiao Bao’s, and Xiao Bao still doesn’t seem to have his choreography down, but they manage to pull it together enough to take the second round, which to be honest is kind of a muddled mess on everyone’s part. The only one who really stands out to me on this go’round is Su Lian Ya, but OK, Team Zhang might have had it slightly more together as a unit. And then, yeah, OK, I think they were fucking with Lay Zhang’s head, because we then find out that, holy shit, the song the show powers-that-be chose for the tie-breaking third round is that gd Sailor Moon song, and we can all see the writing on the wall. Poor Team Wallace is no match for Xiao Bao, who frankly, carries this entire round on his shoulders without breaking a sweat and barely needs any backup dancers to do it. There’s some ridiculously dramatic reveal of scoring, with the judges dragging out their decisions like this was any actual contest - I’m beginning to suspect that some of them grew up with Wallace Chung posters on their bedroom walls - but finally, round and towel to Team Zhang.
Cut to a little bit of Next Time On, and wow, the first two-and-a-half-hour episode is over, and we aren’t finished with the initial round yet. It’s gonna be Christmas before I make it halfway through this season.
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broadstbroskis · 4 years
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surprises- pt 8 | mat barzal
oooffff it’s been quite a long journey and thanks for sticking with me through the wait! it’s finally here- the next and last part of surprises! thanks to everyone for reading, thanks for all your lovely feedback and kind words throughout this series, and all the support as i worked through this last part! it’s meant the world to me and i hope you all enjoy this last part!
part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7
When you wake up one morning to absolute silence, you get suspicious. No baby cries, no sounds of Mat breathing next to you, nothing.
But when you investigate, you find Mat sprawled out on the couch, holding Maeve against his chest, and they’re both passed out. She’s grown, definitely grown a lot since you brought her home, but his hand still covers most of her body. You reach for your phone, snapping a picture (to add to the many you’ve taken of the two of them over the past month), only to fumble it when you see the instagram notification on the front screen. 
Mat’s tagged you in a post and you sit down on the floor in front of the two of them as you slide to open it. And then, you gasp, immediately reaching to cover your mouth and hide the sound, as you look through the roll of pictures that Mat posted.
One Month with Maeve: You Like: eating, sleeping, anything your mom does You Dislike: tummy time
When you look up, Mat’s watching you, with a hopeful look on his face. “Hi.” He says quietly.
“Hi.” You return, flipping your phone around to him. “I call bullshit.”
He laughs-gently and quietly, so as not to wake Maeve-and then grins. “Oh yeah? On what?”
“That she likes anything I do.” Maeve’s just...so content anytime she’s in Mat’s arms. Anytime he’s just in her proximity. She’s recently started to recognize his voice, turning her head for it anytime she hears it...sometimes even over FaceTime. “You are definitely the favorite.”
Mat kisses the top of Maeve’s head gently; it’s a favorite thing for both of you right now, you’re pretty sure. “Maybe, but we still like anything you do.”
You raise an eyebrow at him. “We?”
“Yeah, both of us.” Mat says, like it’s something he says everyday, totally normal and casual.
Cheeks flushed, you stand up. “I’m going to go make breakfast.”
“We’ll come.” Mat stands, careful not to jostle Maeve too much.
“You don’t have to.” You offer. You know how tired he is all the time now, between Maeve and playoffs. He could use all the rest he can get.
“I want to.” Mat settles himself on one of the chairs by the counter and re-adjusts Maeve. “I feel like I barely get to see you guys right now.”
“Somebody’s gotta pay off that nice, big house.” You chirp, pulling out the eggs to make omelets.
Mat laughs. “Can’t even move into it yet and it’s already costing me money.”
“Don’t think about the price tag until you get paid this summer.”
“Once again. You cannot max out my credit card in the Target Home Section. Even with a bonus this year.”
“I gave you the most perfect human ever and this is how you repay me?’
Mat looks down at Maeve, unable to stop the smile that grows over his face, and in return, you feel one spread across yours as you watch him. “Go crazy.”
-----
Two Months with Maeve: You Like: the new hockey mobile Uncle Tito bought you, when your mom and i talk to you You Dislike: the carseat, more tummy time
When you slip into Maeve’s nursery in the new house (just barely unpacked, but still the most unpacked room in the entire house by far), Mat’s got the same sad look on his face that he’s worn for the last three days, standing in the middle of the room, watching her sleep. You give him a minute, see if he notices your presence, and when he doesn’t acknowledge you, you slide behind him and wrap your arms around his waist, dropping your head between his shoulder blades. “You’re still amazing.”
Mat’s laugh is hollow and you know he’s thinking about how he was held scoreless for the last two games this series, thinking about all the things he could have done differently so that they weren’t eliminated. “You’re biased.”
“Like I’ve ever held back from telling you that you suck before.”
It’s not a smile, but the corner of his lips do turn up. “Fair.”
You smile, hiding the grin in his back. “We’re happy to have you home more.”
“Even though this means we won’t get to put Maeve in the cup?” You can picture his eyebrows raise with the question, even though it’s dark and you’re not even looking at him.
“I mean, she would have looked really cute in it.” You poke his side. “But I’ll get over it. We’ll just have to take cute baby pictures with her somewhere else.”
“You mean, like this new house we just moved into?”
“This new house we just moved into where every room is either filled with boxes or has no furniture?”
You feel Mat hesitate. “Maybe there’s a park nearby.” He says and you laugh. 
“Maybe.” You agree, slipping around to curl into his side, so you can both watch Maeve sleep.
-----
Three Months with Maeve: You Like: that new activity mat, music, afternoon walks You Dislike: pop goes the weasel, noisy birds on the walks
“These came out so good.” Molly enthuses, beaming as she stares at the pictures of Maeve that you and Mat had professionally taken, shortly after your conversation about it, to send out in cards to everyone you know.
“Right?” It had taken a little to decide where you wanted to have the pictures taken, the house still not finished and immediately eliminated. Almost all the parks nearby had been eliminated by your photographer due to lighting and the one that hadn’t, had been nixed by you. You and Mat had both scrunched your nose up at the thought of bringing Maeve to the beach already, as well as a few other suggestions. In the end, though, you can’t imagine anyone will be shocked to see the ice rink in the background of a few of the pictures, and it seemed only fitting. 
As usual, Maeve’s perfectly at ease in Mat’s arms, who’s beaming down at her, in your favorite shot of the afternoon, as you hang onto his arm gently to keep yourself upright, the same wide grin on your own face as you look at the two of them. There are so many other shots from the day- Mat skating while holding Maeve; the two of you laughing while you move easily on the ice; close ups of Maeve sleeping peacefully in Mat’s arms, just happy to be close to him (unless it’s the proximity to the ice- she is definitely his daughter). And then there’s all the candids.
“Some tough choices for the photo wall.” Molly muses.
“Gonna need lots of frames.” You agree, as the back door opens and Tito walks in, bouncing Maeve gently in his arms, closely followed by Mat and Brian. 
“Alright, patio’s done.”
“Perfect!” Molly claps her hands together and you give her a look because she sounds too excited. “Great timing.”
Tito huffs, still bouncing Maeve, who’s smiling away at him and probably going to start giggling at any minute. She’d laughed for the first time last week and it felt like since then, she hadn’t stopped. “We said we’d have it done in time, didn’t we?”
“In time for what?” You press, skeptically.
“Yes, “Molly ignores you completely. “But I honestly didn’t believe you.”
“Rude.” Brian teases. “The lack of faith.”
“Yeah.” Tito adds. “What’d we do to deserve this?”
“What are you three talking about?” Mat huffs, and you feel ten times better already that you’re not the only one left out.
“Oh!” Molly blinks, like it’s only just occurred to her that she hasn’t actually told you what’s going on yet. “Right. You two are going out tonight. We made you a dinner reservation and we’re going to stay here and babysit while you do.”
You hesitate, relieved that when you look over to meet Mat’s eyes, you see the same look. “I don’t know.”
“We’re not going to force you to go.” Brian says, before Molly or Tito can jump in, with what’s certain to be a much less soft comment. “We just thought you could use a couple hours out. Without having to worry.”
It’s not...the worst thought, if you’re honest, and you can see the idea growing on Mat as well. “I mean, we’re probably still going to worry.” He says, even as you can see him start to grin.
“What, now, you don’t trust me with your kid?” Tito says, feigning hurt. “And to think, I almost made godfather.”
“Because YN’s brother almost didn’t show up.” Mat throws back at him.
“Classic Christopher.” You grin at the memory of your brother literally running into the church last month for the baptism only just in time. 
“You two go get moving; we promise to take perfect care of your baby.” Molly says.
“Team Baby.” Tito sticks his free hand, the one not holding Maeve to his chest, into the center of the circle you’ve all formed, and stares at you all expectantly, until each one of you piles a hand on top of his. “Team Baby!” He cheers again, and then he steers Maeve over to her activity mat and lies down on the floor with her.
“Go.” Molly gestures and it doesn’t take much more for you and Mat to turn and start getting dressed because that’s her I mean business face. “Dress nice!” She calls after you. “Suit, tie, dress, heels. The works!”
“Where could they possibly be sending us?” Mat mutters as the two of you climb up the steps toward your room, and you hide your snicker much better than he does.
“Mathew!” Molly calls, warningly.
“First shower.” You call dibs to him, and rush past him for it, laughing at the look on his face.
While Mat showers after you, you fix your hair and makeup, and then step into your closet, already pulling a face at all your dresses before you even look at them. 
You’re starting to feel more like yourself after giving birth, finally, after three months, but you don’t feel completely there. You’re not sure you ever will, that’ll you’ll ever feel that easy and carefree again, or that you’ll ever look the same again, and you’ve talked with Grace and Lauren, and are coming to terms with it. Have come to terms with it, really. The trade-off for Maeve’s smiles made everything worth it.
But.
But you don’t have a single dress that fits the way you like now.
There are four dresses on the floor of your closet and at least five more that you couldn’t even bring yourself to try on before you find a charcoal colored slip dress that’s covered in a pattern of dark sequins. The strappy heels that go along with it are an old comfort; they, at least, still fit you.
Mat’s holding a tie up in the mirror when you come out of the closet, like he’s debating if he actually has to wear it, but the second he sees you through the glass, his eyes go wide and the tie drops from his hand.
“Now those hands aren’t going to earn you that new contract.” You tease, unable to handle the thick silence that’s fallen between you.
“What?” It’s like he didn’t even hear the joke; his eyes are roaming up and down. “Fuck. You want to skip dinner?”
You actually kinda do. You’d seen Mat leaving the old apartment all spring in a suit on his way to the airport or the arena, all the way up until they’d been eliminated, so maybe it was just the context of the evening, but he looked unreal tonight. You nod, but then immediately bite your lip...which just makes Mat groan. “They’re not going to let us just stay here, though.”
Mat grins, reaching for your hand. “Trust me on this.”
“I do.” You smile at him, squeezing gently in return,
And it takes the two of you almost thirty minutes to leave the house after that, despite the heated looks in your bedroom, because neither of you wants to leave Maeve again once you see her, but Molly shoves you out the door with threats about missing your reservation, and once the door’s closed, that’s all it takes for Mat to turn his gaze right back to you.
There is, blessedly, still furniture in his old apartment, still his as he continues to decide whether to sell it or rent it, and you’ve never been so thankful for his unusual moment of indecisiveness as he lies you down into his old bed, pressing kisses onto any spot of skin he can find.
-----
Four Months with Maeve: You Like: playing with your toes, sitting, laughing and babbling You Dislike: when anyone takes a toy from you
Expecting Mat, you’re a little surprised when you turn and see that the form that’s flopped down in the shade beside you and Maeve is actually Tyson. “How’s my best girl?” He coos at her, as entranced with her as anyone else has been since you and Mat had come up to Canada last week to see Mat’s family.
Maeve giggles, babbling some noises back at him, and reaching her hands out for his curls. “Don’t.” You warn him, but he’d learned that lesson already this week, and he intercepts her with his thumb instead, a wide grin on his face. “Sucker.” You tease.
“How can you say no to this face?” He cries and yeah, when she’s laughing and smiling like that, you can see what he means. Especially because it’s Mat’s smile she seems to have inherited, even if it looks like the rest of Maeve’s features might be all you.
“Mmmm, you get used to it.” You tell him anyway, and Tyson grins knowingly, so you close your eyes, relaxing in the sun for a moment, confident that someone is watching your baby and you can get a few minutes of rest.
It doesn’t last long, because shortly after closing your eyes, you feel something heavy and wet plaster itself to you and you open one eye to glare, which is as much as you can be bothered with out by the lake. “Mat!”
He’s already grinning down at you, water from the lake dripping from his face to yours. “You looked a little hot.”
“I was very comfortable.”
Mat lays his head down on your chest. “Well, now I’m very comfortable.”
“You are the most annoying person I’ve ever met.” You say, and you don’t need Tyson to laugh to know that you don’t sound serious at all.
“Liar.” Mat says, and you can feel him grinning against your skin. “You love me.”
You pause for a moment, unintentionally, as you move your hand up to play with his hair, but it’s long enough that you feel the smile start to slip from his face. “Yeah.” You tease. “I guess I do.” 
Mat’s grin returns and he presses the softest kiss to whatever piece of skin he can reach, but before he can say anything else, Maeve starts babbling away. “I know.” Tyson coos at her. “They’re so cute it’s disgusting.”
“Hey!” Mat frowns. “Let go of my baby so I can push you down.”
Tyson laughs. “Well thanks for that get out of jail free card!”
-----
Five Months of Maeve: You Like: hide and seek, bananas, applesauce You Dislike: peas (can’t blame you, kiddo)
“Do we really want to try peas again so soon?” You frown at Mat, holding up one of the other jars of baby food.
He shrugs. “Gonna have to jump back in eventually.”
You pull a face. “Spoken like the man who didn’t get puked on.”
“We get puked on like ten times a day!”
“It was green!”
He laughs. “I’ll do the peas this time.”
You laugh. Sucker. “Deal.”
It’s super gratifying then, to see that Maeve hates the peas this time just as much as she had before. She’s not about Mat’s airplane noises once she realizes what’s on the spoon he’s trying to feed her with and none of his usual tricks are working to try and calm her down once she starts crying. 
But when Mat looks at you for help, you don’t do anything but laugh, continuing to film the entire disastrous event. “Really?” He gives you a look.
“Not so cocky now, huh?” You fire the video off into, like, three different chats- the one with his family, to Team Baby, and the Islanders Moms chat, because he could probably use the ego deflation- and then reach for Maeve, who settles almost instantly against you, her crying quieting as you hold her against your side.
“Sure.” Mat grumbles, dropping the spoon against the high-chair’s table. “All calm now.”
“Oh hush.” You tell him, with a smile, knowing exactly what he’s annoyed about. “You’ll go back to being her favorite in an hour; don’t worry.”
Mat tries to hide his grin by ducking his head to clean the high-chair but you see right through him.
-----
Six Months of Maeve: You Like: bouncing, rolling, wiggling, literally any kind of movement You Dislike: teething (but we dislike you teething too), staying still
“I think she’s going to really start crawling soon.” You remark to Mat, the two of you both seated on the floor, opposite sides of the room, to catch her before she could wriggle into any walls.
She hadn’t quite pushed herself up there yet, but she scooted around pretty well.
“Don’t say that.” Mat groans, reaching out for Maeve and ignoring her cry of protest as he placed her back on the ground, safely away from the wall. She gave him a look, but then went right back to rolling around, rolling onto her back and then over to her stomach again, scooting toward you. “Fuck, imagine when she can walk. Chasing after her.”
“Inability to sit still for sure comes from you.” You try to distract Maeve with a toy, watching as she puts it in her mouth and starts to gnaw on it. Her first tooth had come in the other week, an absolute nightmare, and you were pretty sure another one was following. 
“Can’t prove that.” Mat says, eyes fond as he watches Maeve.
“Wanna bet?” You tease. That’s an easy phone call to make.
“Have I told you how pretty you look today?” Mat beams at you and you burst into laughter because you haven’t showered and you’re covered in baby formula.
“That’s what I thought.” You grin, and then reach out to pull Maeve away from the coffee table.
-----
Seven Months of Maeve: You Like: blocks, knocking down block towers, clapping blocks together, anything blocks You Dislike: noise-cancelling headphones
“These are so cute.” Grace beams, scrolling through the pictures on her phone and simultaneously bouncing a wriggly toddler on her lap. “I’ll send them out as soon as we get upstairs.”
You smile, thanking her already, fixing the earphone covering Maeve’s tiny head. It’s the Islanders’ home opener, Maeve’s first game actually attending, and there’d been a well-documented photo shoot with all the kids prior to the group of you heading down to the glass, to wait for warm ups to start. 
She wasn’t a big fan of the headphones you’d placed on her ears, constantly reaching up to bat them off, but she was looking around, eyes wide as she stared at the crowd around her, even after both teams skated out for warm ups, unable to grasp what exactly was happening.
But she was smiling, beaming the whole time, a grin that only got wider when Mat skated up to the glass in front of you and put his fist up against it. She reaches for it as you bring her closer to the glass, grabbing out for it as he taps it with a grin, and then she babbles a bunch of nonsense when she’s stopped by the glass, retracting her hand immediately.
You and Mat both laugh and he gives one last tap on the glass to you both before skating off to rejoin warm ups.
He absolutely lights it up that night, but the gifs of the the three of you at the glass during warmups cycle through the internet for days.
-----
8 Months of Maeve: You Like: your favorite blankie, Cheerios, cheese You Dislike: i really tried with those peas, kid
You’d do literally anything for some sleep right now, even just a power nap. Mat had been gone on a road trip for a few days now, due back shortly, but Maeve had been so clingy the entire time he was gone, not even wanting to be held by Molly when she’d stopped in to visit, and fussing anytime you’d walked away from her. 
She was playing with a couple of her toys on the floor right now, and it took everything in you to keep your eyes open to watch over her. You contemplated moving her into her bouncer, even as she kept side-eyeing you to make sure you were still close, just in case you accidentally dropped into a nap. 
Suddenly, an arm drops over your shoulders and Mat’s pressing a kiss to your temple. “You look sleepy.”
“I’m exhausted.” You lean against him immediately. “When did you get in?”
“Just now.” He squeezes gently, smiling and waving as Maeve, who’s abandoned her toy the moment she saw him, clapping her hands together and beaming at him, babbling at him happily. “She keeping you up at night?”
“She’s just…” You trail off, not sure how to describe what Maeve is right now. Because on one hand, she’s not normally this clingy, and it’s certainly a change of pace. But it’s not a bad thing to have her so close to you all the time, for her to want to be so close to you- you don’t dislike it at all. “I’m just tired.”
He presses another kiss to your forehead, but before he can say anything, Maeve reaches her arms out for him. “Da!” She’s frowning, probably because Mat’s been ignoring her in favor of you. “Dada!” She reaches out again, and this time Mat’s face lights up, both of yours do, as he sweeps her into his lap.
“Say it again!” Mat prompts, tickling her, which of course doesn’t get her to do anything but giggle.
“Dada.” You try, leaning closer, and she repeats it then, but won’t say it again, for all that Mat tries, struggling out of his arms right after that, to go back to playing.
Mat runs his fingers through his hair, looking absolutely floored, and you still haven’t stopped smiling either. Your baby’s first word! You have to tell everyone! But there’ll be time for that later; Mat’s comfy to lean against right now and he doesn’t look like he wants to go anywhere either, so you press a kiss to his cheek and then lie your head back against his shoulder, content to watch Maeve play with her blocks.
-----
9 Months of Maeve: You Like: walking, giving your mom and I heart attacks while walking You Dislike: sitting still for any length of time (stop laughing at me mom)
“You,” Mat sweeps Maeve off her feet and up into his arms as she toddles past him. “Went from walking to running in like two days! Give your mom and I a rest, kiddo.”
“She gets that from you.” You tell him, tiredly. He’s not wrong though. She’d started pulling herself into standing not long ago, and then shortly after, taken her first steps, and then it felt like the next day, she was off to the races. You spent most of your day chasing her around the house now; she almost never wanted to be picked up anymore.
Even now, she was squirming to get out of Mat’s arms and be back on the ground, already starting to whine about it. Mat obliges, and she takes off- or as well as she can; she hasn’t quite mastered it yet, her feet make that distinct slap noise on the floor that you associate with all babies walking. 
Mat chases and brings her back, but you two quickly have to settle each on one side of the room, eyes watching Maeve and turning her between the two of you. “She needs a friend.” You mutter, steering her back towards Mat, for what seems like the hundredth time in ten minutes.
Mat nods furiously. “Suddenly I understand why people have more than one of these.”
You burst into laughter, loud enough that it stops Maeve for a second. But only a second; she’s right back to toddling over toward you, throwing herself at you, giggling along with you for a moment there. “One of these?” You call Mat out, and he joins you in laughing, as Maeve uses your arm to pull herself back up and starts walking again.
Mat shrugs it off laughingly. “You know what I mean.”
You do. “God, I used to not even imagine being able to have another one of her, but god, if another one meant they could entertain each other; I’d do it in a heartbeat.”
“I’d have five more if it meant we didn’t have to chase her like this.” Mat pulls Maeve back into the room, a small noise of protest coming from her until he puts her back on the floor.
You give him a look. “You can find someone else to have five more with.”
When Mat smiles at you, it’s softer, not his usual bright beam. “Alright.” He says. “We won’t have five more. Two or three more.” You side-eye him, trying to gauge how serious he is, but he must take your silence for agreement, because then he does beam.
-----
10 Months of Maeve: You Like: patty cake, waving, causing chaos You Dislike: bananas, apparently, even though you loved them last month
“Tito!” You gasp excitedly, only just remembering to pick Maeve up and bring her with you, ignoring her fuss in favor of Mat and Tito walking in the door with something much more exciting. “Why didn’t  you tell me you were getting a dog?”
Luckily, she’s easily swayed by the dog, eyeing the wriggling puppy in Tito’s arms. She still doesn’t look like she’s 100% certain about it, but it certainly captures her attention; she stops moving in your arms entirely, blinking at the dog, unmoving.
“Uhhh.” Tito says, in response to you, looking at Mat and then back at you. “Not exactly what happened.”
Mat grins. “So you wanted a dog, right?”
Your jaw drops and the next words are out before you can even think about stopping them. “Shut the fuck up.” And then you immediately wince, because you’ve been on Mat recently about watching his language around Maeve, who’s soaking up words now like an absolute sponge. 
But Mat only laughs, reaching to pull the puppy into his arms, and stepping closer to you and Maeve slowly. “Her name’s Blue, but we can change it.”
“Boo!” Maeve repeats, which really ices the cake on that one, and brings a smile to both of your faces. She’s reaching out for the puppy as Mat steps closer, and you prepare yourself for the worst, but Maeve bursts into happy giggles the second her hand touches the puppy.
Blue sniffs her tiny little hand tentatively, and then licks it happy, and Maeve giggles even harder as she does. “I might cry.” You announce. “This is the greatest day. I thought you’d never cave.”
Tito snickers. “He was worried he’d come home one day and you’d brought a stray home.”
“I considered it.”
“Thought this was better.” Mat agrees. “At least I got to screen for a good one.”
“All dogs are good dogs.” You state firmly. “Let’s put her down and let her explore a little.”
“Come on, Menace.” Mat takes Maeve from your arms, who goes happily, reaching for his hair as she does, but you’ve both caught onto the move by now, so he intercepts her hand with his thumb. “Let’s go follow your new best friend.”
-----
11 Months of Maeve: You Like: baby dolls, baby doll stroller, your fancy new cup, Blue You Dislike: puzzles- you’re not really about toys you sit for anymore
“How soon,” Mat starts one night, when you’re getting ready for bed, both child and dog already asleep in crib and crate from an exhausting evening of playtime. “Is too soon, do you think, to bring Maeve out for a skate?”
You’ve got a mouth full of toothpaste, but you think you still manage to convey what you want with a look. “You’re asking me this question?”
“Good point.” You rinse your mouth out and join Mat in bed. “Maybe we’ll start with mini-sticks and a soft ball.”
You burst into laughter. “You think she’s ready for that?”
“Oh she’s got this walking thing down now.” He brushes that off. “My girl’s an expert.”
You roll your eyes. “Yeah, we knew that was coming.”
Mat grins. “Work on that hand eye coordination now.”
You give him a look, trying to decide how serious he is, and then when deciding that he’s absolutely 100% serious, you press a kiss to his shoulder-the nearest spot of him that you can reach. “Please don’t kill our baby.”
Mat’s already scooting in closer to you, already half asleep because this asshole somehow manages to fall asleep like the second his head hits the pillow basically, and he throws an arm over your waist. “Mmm, kay, promise.”
-----
It was a mistake to sit down, you knew that before you even did it, but you’re exhausted from the day. Between spending your morning getting ready for Maeve’s birthday party, playing hostess throughout the afternoon, and then starting the clean-up process, you honestly think you could fall asleep right here against this wall that you’re leaning against.
Your phone buzzes in your pocket and you slip it out-it’s another message from Molly, probably just more pictures that she took throughout the afternoon-but it’s the instagram tag from Mat that really catches your attention.
The app opens to a picture of the two of you standing on either side of Maeve and her smash cake, both wearing happy parent smiles, as her hand brings another fist of icing to an already-covered face. There’s a picture with the three of you standing with his parents and sister; another with Maeve, Tito, Molly, and Brian; and the last one, just you and Maeve, sitting on the floor and her trying to play with the party hat Molly had put on your head, right after you’d fixed the bow on her headband.
1 Year of Maeve: Happy Birthday to our favorite girl! It’s been an entire year with you already and your mom and I can’t wait to see what comes in the next one
You can’t help but smile at both the caption and the pictures, unable to settle on one and still scrolling through the post when you feel Mat sit down next to you. “Somebody’s getting sleepy.”
The same dopey, fond smile is definitely still on your face as you turn to look at Mat and Maeve, who’s curled in his arms in a way she only does now when she’s absolutely exhausted. But she’s fighting it for sure, eyes fluttering shut and then popping back open again. “Big day.” You agree with him. “And it was a nice day. But I’m happy it’s just us now.”
“Yeah.” Mat says, and it almost sounds like his thoughts are completely in another place for a second as he shifts around on the floor for a second. “It was a great day.” It was; it truly was, and even though there’s still a mess to be cleaned, you’re perfectly content to just sit here for a while longer with Mat and Maeve. When he settles, you lean your head against his shoulder, reaching your hand out to rest it on Maeve’s tiny little wrist. “Hey.” Mat says gently.
“Hmm?”
“Marry me?”
“What?” You laugh, until he brings a hand out to you and opens his fist to show off a diamond ring, and then suddenly you’re not laughing at all. “Oh my god.”
“I just-I want a million more days like this with you,” Mat smiles. “I want forever like that. Marry me.”
“Yes.” You breathe. “Yes, god yes, of course.”
And immediately, Mat’s kissing you, or well, trying to, because you’re smiling and kind of crying, and he’s still holding Maeve in his arms, so you both pull away pretty quickly. “I love you. God, I know I don’t tell you that enough, but I do. So much. It-”
“I love you too.” You cut him off. “I really can’t imagine doing this with anyone else.”
Mat beams at you and you reach your left hand out, biting your lip to avoid giggling as he fumbles a little, one-handedly sliding the ring onto it. But he succeeds, and you admire the ring on your finger, as you lean back against Mat’s shoulder.
The silence that follows is comfortable; the only sound the slight wheeze of Maeve’s breathing. “I think she’s finally out.” Mat says quietly, after a moment. “I’ll take her up?”
“Nah.” You clutch at his arm. “Just-let’s just stay here for a while.”
Mat smiles against the side of your head before he kisses it gently. “Okay.” He kisses it again. “But you know you’re stuck with me forever now, right? Not going anywhere.”
You squeeze his arm. “Not stuck.” Mat beams. “Well, I guess I might feel differently in a month or two.”
“Brat.” Mat says fondly. 
“Yup.” You grin and then throw his own words right back at him. “But you’re stuck with me forever now.”
“Never stuck.” Mat says, and it sounds like such a promise that you can’t help but lean over and try to kiss him again.
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costellos · 4 years
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HI i LOVE ur "____ realizing they fell in love" series thing AND idk if you've done stardust crusaders but if you haven't i'd love to request that pretty pls luv u Aaa c:
I haven’t done the Crusaders yet!! today is your lucky day. 🥰 ty for supporting this series and I hope you enjoy this one!
BUCCI GANG | LA SQUADRA
tw: general violence, stabbing
❥ ┋ ❝ stardust crusaders realizing that they’re in love!
joseph joestar.
Joseph falls in love with you after you put yourself in danger.
the first thing you need to know about Joseph Joestar is that there’s always something up his sleeve. the second, that he prizes his family above all else. only one of those applied when you sacrificed yourself for his sake.
it happens during a stand battle. Hermit Purple is more of a defensive stand, with its ability to disarm and capture enemies. your stand works best offensively. as such, you make quite the pair when you encounter two of DIO’s subordinates in India.
but while Joseph was distracted, using Hermit Purple to wrap one of the goons in its violet vines, the other came barreling behind Joseph. he sees a glint in the henchwoman’s eyes, a look that tells him that she’s ready to kill. he knows you see it too. and that’s why he’s crying at you to get away.
it only took a moment. yet in that moment did you save Joseph, push the henchwoman back, and find a kukri in your side. it’s the one time that Joseph didn’t have anything up his sleeve, and one of many that he could feel his heart drop.
you didn’t have to defend him. he had already lived his life, and at that point, he had accepted he could die at any moment. he knew exactly what he was getting into when it came to DIO. and he was starting to wish that he hadn’t gotten you involved, too.
he knocks both of the goons out, leaving them in the alley. you’re not quite sure what happens next. all you can feel is Joseph holding you in his arms, frantically looking for help in the streets of Kolkata. he’s screaming. crying maybe? you lose consciousness soon after.
Joseph would visit you in your hospital room once you came to. he makes quite the scene, pushing doctors aside and slamming your door open. at first glance you think that he's mad, with his gritted teeth and clasped fists. he stops for a moment, studying your face. and it’s here that you realize he isn’t mad — no, his face quickly melts to concern, his lip quivering as he wraps you into a tight hug. ↳ “come here.” his voice is shaky. he sounds breathless, as if he ran here as soon as he got word that you woke up. “what the hell were you thinking? don’t go throwing yourself at anyone for my sake! you talk to me in battle, okay?”  alright, maybe he’s a little mad. he’s trying to say his words as gently as he can, though. “we need you, [Name].” and it’s true: the team does need you. but he of all people needs you most. he’s already losing one child. he can’t bear the thought of losing another.
muhammad avdol.
Avdol falls in love with you when he sees how patient you are.
he's a mentor above all else. Avdol’s career depends on guiding others to their destinies, leading them to something that he cannot posses. he’s never particularly minded. like all things, he just thinks that is his own destiny. he knows that fate can’t be changed.
it’s part of the reason why Avdol’s given up on Iggy. the dog is hopeless, fighting for his own wants and needs. he doesn’t care about the team or DIO or why he’s in Egypt. hence, aside from giving him coffee gum when Avdol needs him, the fortune teller leaves him alone.
then he sees you interacting with Iggy. “it’s hopeless,” Avdol tells you. but you look up at him and shake your head, asking him to just give you some time. Iggy will come around, you promise.
Avdol chuckles. “if you say so.”
despite his doubts, he keeps a close eye on you. you keep at it. you’re trying to get the dog’s trust, offering pets and belly rubs during moments of peace. Iggy seems disinterested.
in time, Avdol watches as you realize that Iggy hates being treated like a dog. you share your food with him and talk with him, even if he can’t understand what you have to say. one day, while driving through Egypt, Avdol peers into the rear view mirror and sees you asleep with Iggy on your lap.
the Boston terrier follows you everywhere now. he trots beside you and barks at whoever gets too close to you (much to Polnareff’s chagrin). Avdol can’t help but find this amusing.
well he’d be damned. you really did it. Avdol always thought of him as a good judge of character, and you proved him wrong. not that he minds; Iggy’s cooperation will make this mission much less difficult. it’s just that your unyielding patience and dedication is... well. it’s quite nice with all the other interesting characters on this trip.
Avdol approaches you while you’re reading in the hotel lobby. as always, Iggy is at your feet. he’s fast asleep, thankfully. the fortune teller tries to be quiet so as not to wake him. ↳ “I apologize.” he takes the armchair across from yours, resting his cheek on his fist, an amused smile on his lips. “you’re a lot more patient than I gave you credit for.” maybe Avdol had unknowingly guided you to Iggy. maybe it was fate that Iggy would be brought here, only to be loved by you. “I admire that of you. though I suppose there’s a lot I admire about you, hm?” fate can’t be changed. he knew that. but maybe it was fate that like Iggy, Avdol was brought here to be with you.
jotaro kujo.
Jotaro falls in love with you after you call him out.
he hates showing his true colors. that kind of vulnerability is something that he’s never gotten accustomed to, nor does he think that he ever will. it’s part of the reason why he dislikes displaying more emotion than what’s necessary. a slight twinge of his lip or brow can show enough of what he’s thinking. any more than that is a waste of energy. they get the gist, he tells himself.
you proved him wrong when you lost a game of checkers. it’s a humid day in Cairo and during a rare moment of peace, you and Jotaro opt to play a friendly game of checkers with some locals. though the word “friendly” is subjective. if either of you won, 2500 Egyptian pounds would be yours.
it’s your turn. the game is a close call. although it can be over within the next two turns, you can’t tell what your opponent’s next move would be. thankfully, Jotaro is standing behind him, giving you cues for your next move.
...yet because you misunderstand his cue, you watch as you promptly lose any pieces that you had left. your opponent takes your pieces and the 2500 Egyptian pounds with it.
“what the hell was that?” Jotaro is angry. you are too. after losing the game, you collected your things and began to head back to the hotel, with Jotaro at your heels. “I was nodding my head! that was your cue to move left.” 
you stop in your tracks. “that wasn’t you nodding! you just moved your head down! how was I supposed to know?”
he clicks his tongue in response. a beat, and then finally, “you’re really damn annoying, you know that?” 
“yeah, and you’re an asshole.”
Jotaro’s been called many things. sweetie, honey, the hottest guy at school, but asshole? that’s a first. while he won’t admit it, the name stings. it sounds foreign coming from you. he didn’t think he had upset you that much.
he lets the day pass, partly for you, mostly for him. he needs to gather his thoughts. it’s the first time anyone had called him out for his behavior. moreover, Jotaro hates the fact that you may know him better than he does himself. what else do you know about him? did you know that you could upset him this much? ...when did you start to occupy this much space in his head?
so at sundown the next day, you get a knock on your hotel room from Jotaro Kujo himself. you try to close it, but he sticks his foot between the door and the frame before you can. ↳ “look, I’m sorry, alright?” he’s refusing to look at you. “I just... really wanted to win. I pushed that on you. and...” he sighs. "I’m sorry.” he’s apologizing through gritted teeth, yet apologizing nonetheless. it’s the right thing to do and he doesn’t want to lose a friend to his pride. especially one who calls him out on his bullshit. despite everything, you just smile and unfold your arms, telling him that you forgive him. and for a brief moment, he feels a weight lift off his shoulders. although Jotaro Kujo hates being vulnerable, he would hate losing you more.
noriaki kakyoin.
Kakyoin falls in love with you while eating breakfast together.
he’s never had any real friends. any attempts to share facts about himself, whether about his stand or his interests, would be met with scorn. it wasn’t until he had breakfast with you — one tiny moment in a trip filled with wacky happenings — that led him to believe that maybe the world wasn’t so lonely.
it’s 7 AM. normally at this time Mr. Joestar and Avdol are off running errands or planning something privately. Kakyoin turns beside him to find Jotaro and Polnareff fast asleep. he wonders where you’d be at this hour, yet when he enters the dining room, he quickly finds the answer to his question.
"good morning,” he says, taking the seat from across you. his voice is gentle though far more awake than you’d expect for seven in the morning. you greet him as enthusiastically as you can muster, flashing a toothy grin. but upon realizing that you were still chewing your food, you quickly turn away and wave your hand, apologizing for the scene. Kakyoin laughs in return.
the conversation itself is rather tame. you ask about his life, what Japan is like, if he misses his parents. Kakyoin answers all of this truthfully, because... well. no one else has ever taken the time to ask. it feels odd to be interviewed. though not uncomfortable.
and you take genuine interest in what he has to say, too. you ask follow up questions and give real, emotional responses. while you sympathize with him, you don’t pretend to know what he’s gone through.
you didn’t have to engage with him. sure, you’re the only ones awake right now, but he didn’t expect you to be so real with him. Polnareff never takes anything Kakyoin says seriously. Jotaro doesn’t even pretend to care. Mr. Joestar and Avdol have their own things to worry about. it feels... nice to be considered.
needless to say, Kakyoin feels his heart sink when the others wake up. is that too selfish? should he be disappointed in himself for wanting to spend more time with you?
yet even with them there, with Polnareff hogging the conversation and Jotaro being his usual cool self, you try to keep Kakyoin involved. you refuse to let him fade in the background.
he stops you as everyone starts to clean up and go on with their days. ↳ “we should do this more often.” he’s trying to keep it casual. “ah, if you’re up this early again, I mean. I really enjoyed our conversation. it’s a lot more productive when Polnareff’s not awake.” now it’s your turn to laugh in response. you agree, saying that you enjoyed your time with him, too. at this, Kakyoin could feel his cheeks start to burn. right here, right at this moment with you, did Noriaki Kakyoin feel that he wasn’t so alone. 
jean pierre polnareff.
Polnareff falls in love with you when he hears you humming to yourself.
although he would never admit it, he’s lost. what he’s looking for he’s not quite sure. vengeance? honor? it’s something he’s constantly asking himself. behind those dumb jokes and loud laughs is someone who just wants to find himself.
to be honest, he’s always fancied you. it was pretty obvious from the start. the way he looked at you, how his hands were always at your hip, guiding you away from the others. he just thought it was another crush until he heard you humming to yourself.
it’s such a simple happenstance. he didn’t mean to walk in on you. yet there you are, standing on the roof of their hotel, hanging everyone’s laundry to dry. you look so at peace here, with your eyelids low and your fingers at work with one of Polnareff’s shirts. you’re handling it so gently despite it not being your own laundry.
it’s in that moment that he realizes what he wants to do. Sherry’s murderer is dead. she can finally be at peace. Avdol has been found, affirming that he didn’t die for Polnareff’s sake. and here you are, humming a song that he doesn’t know but appearing so content.
while he may not know who he is, he does know that he wants to make you that happy everyday.
Polnareff takes this as his cue to approach you. you bend down to reach into your laundry basket, and when you come back up, the Frenchman is there. he’s not pulling any dumb moves, though. he’s much quieter here.
he follows your lead, reaching into the basket for one of his pants, then comes back up to hang them. you return his actions with a smile, a wordless indication of thanks, and continue to work. that song you were humming returns once more, and Polnareff swears that he can feel his heartbeat pounding in his fingertips.
you and Polnareff continue to work like this until the laundry basket is empty. it’s the first time he doesn’t say anything for 10 minutes, at least that you’ve noticed. what you don’t notice that he’s trying to avoid staring, sneaking quick glances as you focus on the task at hand.
when all is said and done, you stretch your arms far above your head, cuing a satisfying pop from your back. you thank Polnareff for helping you and begin heading back to your room. however, he’s quick to stop you. ↳ “hey, wait!” yikes. did that sound too much? “err- let me know if you need any help. I’m always here for you, [Name].” he sounds defeated in that last sentence. he can tell. he wonders if you can, too. but when you grin and tuck your hair behind your ear, telling him that you’d keep him in your thoughts, Polnareff can’t help but feel his heart swell. did he make you happy here?
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TGF Thoughts: 5x09-- And the end was violent...
It’s been a busy week, but I didn’t want to wait until after 5x10 aired to write this. This recap may be a bit rushed (read: I am going to make an effort to just skip over scenes I don’t care about; we’ll see how many of those there actually are). I didn’t love this episode overall, but I thought it was a huge improvement over 5x08’s parking ticket fiasco and wish it had immediately followed 5x07.
Bless these episodes for not being overly long
Oooh, the opening sequence is long and I have nothing to say about it! Thanks for making my life easier, writers!  
The point of this opening is to show that there are lots of problems with the official court system—inefficiencies, inconveniences like broken elevators, overcrowding in prisons (though, uh, I don’t think the actual problem there is that there’s not room to incarcerate more people)-- that might make cops open to an alternative like Wackner’s court.
I know the cop thread kind of started with last week’s parking nonsense, but surely there was a way other than the parking nonsense to bridge the gap between 5x07’s prison system and 5x09’s focus on Wackner’s court suddenly being a replacement for criminal court, too.
(Y’all, I have SO MANY questions about how Wackner can POSSIBLY judge criminal cases, but they’re all just variations on... UH, GUYS, ISN’T THIS ILLEGAL? LIKE SUPER DUPER ILLEGAL?)  
I see that there is a filming notice when the cops bring a dude into Wackner’s court, and that the notice says that by entering on the premises you consent to being on film. I do not think that this sign being displayed would hold up as evidence of anyone consenting to be sentenced to a private prison on criminal charges.
New question: How did Wackner Rules get on the air so fast? And are they just filming endless episodes in real time? They just film anyone who walks in?  
I think there is supposed to be a subplot about Marissa liking fame and attention; it is almost a little too subtle to be meaningful. I see a through line from her sleeping with that editor dude last week to her smiling at the flowers in this scene to her scenes with Carmen later this episode. Unfortunately, I need a lot more for this to work.
I don’t need Marissa to be a hero who constantly does the right thing and calls out Wackner on crossing the line, but I’m really sad that this is what they’re using Marissa for when we were due for Marissa calling Wackner out (in a meaningful, lasting way) like two episodes ago. It’s felt odd to me that she just sticks around and assists Wackner and Del when they’re doing things like putting people in private prisons and comparing the show they’re making to The Apprentice. Any subtle shift in Wackner’s decisions that has signaled to me that he’s gone too far is something that I can say with certainty would signal the same to Marissa. Marissa’s outspoken and passionate, and we have seen enough reaction shots to know she knows things are going bad, fast. Am I really meant to believe that because she likes Wackner and she likes fame, she’s not going to do anything more substantial than look upset from time to time? Not only does that feel out of character, it’s also just boring.  
And, it speaks to another problem I’m starting to have with the arc: they needed to get to the point faster. Once Wackner said “David Cord’s private prison,” this stopped being fun. It would’ve stopped being fun for Marissa and it stopped being fun for viewers (seriously though, the change in tone on Reddit between 5x07 and 5x08/5x09 is VERY noticeable). So why did we follow that up with some repetitive filler bullshit about parking spaces and then start getting back to the point in this episode? I’m sure they’re going somewhere big in 5x10, but you can’t follow an explosive reveal with more status quo.
(Also, lol, I think the parking space thing was meant to be a fun silly absurd little way of entering into themes about authority and Wackner trying to legitimize his court, but it was about an issue so relatable and illogical that I think it feels even harder to believe than the, like, whole concept of a secret court in a Copy Coop.)  
Time for Marissa to look concerned again! She’s confused about if the case is real or not, and when Wackner says it’s real, she says it’s not for their court and it’s crossing a line. She is absolutely correct. Wackner’s like, let me know if you think I’m crossing a line after I rule, and then he makes a silly flailing gesture that Marissa can use as a signal.
I actually don’t hate that scene; it is a good scene. I am only snarking on it because it feels like familiar territory and it belonged in an earlier episode.
Am I correctly understanding that these cops wanted to be filmed bringing a man against his will to a fake court with a private prison? And that they wanted this to air on television? Okay.
I will say that I believe the motivations of everyone involved except Marissa. Wackner thinks he’s doing good for the world. Del is getting good TV (I mean, I still think that Wackner Rules title sequence is shit and the show Del seems to be making is terrible, but that’s besides the point). Cord has so much money he’s untouchable and this is fun for him. The cops just don’t want to deal with bureaucracy when it comes to someone who they basically caught in the act.  
Court! Stuff! Happens!
Wackner sentences the guy to one year in “David Cord’s private prison.” Again, I know they have to say this for exposition/storytelling reasons, but I continue to find it hilarious that David Cord would want his name to be used in this way (because he like, absolutely would not want his name to be used this way).
The cops like Wackner’s verdict so they tell all their friends to also take their cases to Wackner. What could possibly go wrong!  
Like, yeah, there are problems with the criminal justice system—and some of them are even the ones these cops are mad about—but this is ABSOLUTELY not the answer!!! You cannot just take people off the streets and place them in private prisons because they were forced to enter a filming zone for a TV show what the actual fuck
Love David Lee still having candy on his desk. Some things never change.
Allegra, who was welcomed by the partners of RL last week, is interviewing for a job with David Lee. I don’t understand. Doesn’t David Lee have to approve new partners at RL?  
Please don’t mention real estate on Mars, Allegra. You’ve made me think of Jason and how bad season seven was.
Allegra is feeling a bit different from Elsbeth this episode, though she very much still has some Elsbeth energy. She is very strategic and blunt in a way Elsbeth isn’t, and she seems a little more focused and intense.  
“I notice, in a partisan world, the person in the middle controls the agenda,” Allegra says of her alliances with both Liz and Diane. This is interesting. What are Allegra’s goals here? Just to have power? Does she have a vision for RL? Is it just a good paycheck?
(My guess is it’s about power and money for her. I don’t think she is going to be the ally Madeline wants. I don’t think anyone who voluntarily signs up to be a name partner at a firm owned by corporate overlords is a natural ally for Madeline though, tbh.)
(I really hoped this arc would explore that just a tiny bit more. The longer this conflict drags on the more convinced I become that the whole question of if it’s appropriate for Diane to lead a black firm is moot. It’s an interesting and complicated question, but with some distance from the plot, it becomes pretty clear that in this particular situation, RL isn’t a black firm. It’s a subsidiary of a large multinational corporation.)
(The show seems very aware of this and keeps having plot points like Diane using David Lee to keep her job and having Madeline call out all the awful clients they have... but it needs to go somewhere.)
(This also may be why I’m more down on the end of the season—in the middle of the season, nods at the things I’ve been thinking are appreciated references. At the end, they’re more like plotholes or reminders of the questions we should actually be spending time on.)
“Are you shitting me?” David Lee storms into the room as Liz and Diane are working. “David, we are shitting you about so many things, you’re gonna have to be more specific,” Liz responds. God, funny!Liz is maybe my favorite part of season 5?  
Liz calls David out on his power, noting that he also reports to STR Laurie. So it seems like Liz and Diane can make decisions on their own, and STR Laurie can overrule them, but not stop them in advance?  
This little ad about an ice cream chain is like, 15 seconds too long.  
Carmen is back!!!! She’s helping Rivi sign a deal with an ice cream chain so that they’ll turn into a distributor of weed.  
Why do we have to watch a SECOND commercial?  
The farm wants Rivi to stop dealing other drugs if they’re going to enter into this deal.  
Allegra, another character who seemingly has no qualms about representing drug kingpins, quickly impresses Rivi.  
I understand why there is an interpreter for Rivi’s wife. I do not understand why the interpreter interprets conversations BETWEEN Rivi and his wife. And then he’s translating the sign language into Spanish? But also Rivi speaks fluent English in half of these scenes? WHAT is happening?  
Allegra is also different from Elsbeth in that with clients, you’re NEVER going to underestimate her. You might not follow her at first, but she’ll get to the point clearly and concisely and without telling you how much she likes your lipstick.
But like at 13:44 Rivi signs something to his wife, and when she signs back the interpreter tells him what she’s saying. This is so so so clearly for the audience but I wish it had just been captions because it makes NO SENSE that the interpreter is in on this private conversation between two people who both know sign language!?  
Rivi and Isabel now LOVE Allegra. Diane and Liz are like, okay!  
Cop stuff happens.  
Credits!!! If you haven’t already, be sure to check out indiewire’s piece on the making of the credits—it's fascinating.  
Brooke directed 😀  
Marissa the celebrity is signing autographs in Wackner’s court when the cops bring in some young men affiliated with Rivi.  
NO, GOD NO, NOT THIS DEVIL’S ADVOCATE FUCKERY. The problem I have with the Devil’s Advocate, in addition to it being fucking annoying, is that it is also the exact opposite of what Wackner’s court is all about. Wackner is about facts and really hearing people out, and from what we’ve seen, Devil’s Advocate is about... stereotypes and pop sociology so bad it’s essentially just racism?  
“These young men are the victims of a system that arbitrarily declares some drugs illegal, and others, like alcohol, not. They should be released. To hold them is to perpetuate an unfair system,” Devil’s Advocate says. Good lord, a 7th grader could write a more persuasive speech than this bullshit.  
WHY IS DAVID CORD PROSECUTING THIS, WHY IS THE TRIAL ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT DRUGS HARM COMMUNITIES, WHY IS THE DEVIL’S ADVOCATE SOUNDING LIKE A WHITE BOY IN AN INTRO TO SOCIOLOGY CLASS WITH HIS REFERENCES TO THE WIRE, WHY IS ANY OF THIS HAPPENING OMG MAKE IT STOP HOLY FUCKING SHIT THIS IS BAD
Why is Marissa the court clerk being called upon to be defense, WHY IS THE DEVIL’S ADVOCATE JUST SCREAMING “DEFUND THE POLICE” WHAT THE FUCK
I’m sorry, I am going to rant about this more, I truly cannot get over how fucking stupid the Devil’s Advocate is. He just starts screaming “defund the police”??? To what end?! Why does Wackner want this in his court?!  
I revise what I said earlier. Devil’s Advocate isn’t just sounding a white boy in an intro to sociology class. He is sounding like a white boy who showed up to an intro to sociology class absolutely hammered.
Marissa, correctly, argues that the arrestees should be taken to Cook County. Then she hears that they work for Rivi and she knows this is bad.  
Cord calling Marissa out for her firm representing Rivi: Another thing that would NEVER air on Wackner Rules.
David Lee seems surprised Liz and Diane did not get rid of Allegra. I don’t know why he is surprised, I think they made it very clear they don’t see him as an authority figure.
STR Laurie is now demanding (another) 10% in cuts to pay for Allegra. Liz says they’ll pay for her with the money that used to be for Adrian and Diane notes that Allegra has more stature than Adrian. Interesting.  
David Lee then decides to be both sexist and racist for really no reason at all. Pleasant!  
Showing Carmen as competent but not yet as strategic as Allegra is a really nice way to underline that Carmen is still a first year even if she is very very good.
Liz, Diane, and Allegra talk about cost cutting. Allegra is like, no, we need to spend more, which makes sense, both for the reasons she outlines and because when you bring on a powerful name partner, your need for lower level support does not DECREASE, it INCREASES.  
I know this scene is meant to show Allegra thinking outside the box, but I am a bit surprised that (1) Neither Liz nor Diane push back on the 10% cut and (2) When Allegra suggests hiring back all the associates and then some, Diane seems to think Allegra doesn’t understand they’re talking about cuts? Like, obviously she knows the topic of conversation, Diane.  
“We don’t run our own business. We work for a global conglomerate,” Liz notes. Yup. Right point, wrong context lol.
Diane and Liz are just too smart and strategic to have to be told ALL of this by Allegra... especially Diane, who is not only smart but also used to dealing with management.  
And worse... Liz and Diane think they made a mistake with Allegra because of this? I mean, I guess if your goal is to permanently work for a big corporation that will slowly chip away at your budget because they can and to never make any waves because that might disrupt the status quo, sure, Allegra isn’t who you want! But do Diane and Liz REALLY want the status quo?  
I hope they find a way out from under STR Laurie next year, as much as I hate the firm switching, because it’s just such a boring dead-end when Diane and Liz don’t actually have power or control.
OOOH I like Del asking Liz what SHE wants wrt the whole Diane situation. She says she wants to “stop fighting” and for Diane to “stop using her racist clients to keep her job” and for “the firm to be led in the right way by the right people.” So sounds like she wants to work with Diane, then? That last one is as vague as can be, but I think we can infer at this point that Liz is more concerned with stability and a work environment she likes than idealism.
God, Liz and Alicia would’ve gotten along so well as adults lmao.
Del tells Liz that “women at work always want to be thought of as nice. Women always want consensus. But you know what, baby, sometimes you just gotta say, ‘Fuck you, and you and you and you. Alright? This is my business and it’s my decision.’” I see where he’s coming from (even though this sounds like something my nemesis the Devil’s Advocate would say) but I am not sure I agree that’s Liz’s problem here.  
Actually, maybe I do agree with Del. I think Del’s saying to say FU to Diane, but what Liz clearly actually wants to do is say FU to Madeline lol
Liz asks him to change the topic. Where ARE they? Is this a restaurant or an incredibly nice backyard?  
Del changes the topic to how his boss wants him to come back to LA, but he wants to get Liz’s thoughts on their future. Liz asks him to start since men are better at saying what they mean (ha, love her giving him shit for that).  
He basically tells her he wants to stay and she says he should stay. Aww.  
Rivi’s house is... certainly something.  
Isabel is concerned because three of their boys have disappeared. She, naturally, suspects they’re at police blacksites.  
I’m sorry, did Marissa not elevate the Rivi case in Wackner’s court to the partners’ attention!? Rivi blames the dairy company, even though this does not... make that much sense?
This escalates into the murder of cows?? What... the fuck.
Now Marissa finds Carmen and loops her in! But only now that she knows Rivi’s looking for them and Rivi’s about to, like, kill Christian Borle’s character whose name I’ve forgotten.  
Marissa’s position on this is that Wackner will just let the boys go so Rivi shouldn’t know about any of this. Rivi would just kill Wackner. And Carmen is like, Rivi will just kill Christian Borle if we don’t tell. Fair point.  
Carmen, being an actual adult (sorry Marissa, I usually love you), is willing to admit when she’s in over her head, so she walks off to go get Liz for help. Yay!  
Rivi is not impressed with Wackner’s court or Marissa. He and Isabel want either Carmen or Allegra. Liz says Carmen will do it, I think meaning Marissa will do it but Carmen will be client facing.  
I love it when we get to see Liz just be super competent. It’s not a rare occurrence, but it’s just very, very clear in this scene how much better Liz is at handling this situation than Carmen or Marissa would’ve been and I like it when the show makes time to emphasize that even on a show full of hypercompetent people, some people are more skilled than others at handling some situations.
Liz, Diane, and David meet with STRL over Zoom. Allegra somehow pops up on the meeting but also joins as a cat because you know what the cat lawyer on Zoom needed? To be parodied on TGF. Ugh
OH MY GOD I DIDN’T PUT THIS TOGETHER SOONER BUT IT’S A CAT LAWYER YOU GUYS. This will mean NOTHING to any of you because it’s about an inside joke I have with the friend who got me into TGW, but indulge me in a little nostalgia here, ‘kay? So in like 2012, there was a trend on Tumblr where everyone would photoshop cat ears onto their favorite TV characters and my friend and I were like, why would I want to put cat ears on my favorite character, idgi. So then we started photoshopping cat ears on to the most unlikely characters and we landed on David Lee. We referred to David Lee as a cat for a really long time. Like, if we were to talk about David Lee today we would probably still call him Cat! David Lee.  
Allegra starts trying to work her magic on STRL.  Diane literally runs down the stairs to try to stop Allegra. I am not sure why Diane and Liz are so anti-Allegra during this conversation which is only happening so they can have the funds to keep her on board!  
Allegra tries to share a burrito with Diane and Liz and says she stands by her strategy. Liz finally says she’s not sure this will work. Allegra is understanding.
I respect that. Allegra may as well go all out and see if she can make this workable.  
(That said, this is pretty much the opposite of her whole staying neutral thing from earlier!)
No one is in the audience at Wackner’s court when Carmen shows up, yet the musician who I like only very slightly more than Devil’s Advocate is still on call. Just STOP.  
Overall I’ve liked the Wackner arc and I’m excited to see it wrap up tomorrow, but lemme tell you: it had better wrap up tomorrow. I am NOT open to dealing with this for another season.
The musician takes orders from Cord? The cameras are rolling? Rivi is there? WHAT?  
I know that NONE of this makes sense, but some things make exceptionally little sense and I just can’t.
Guys, remember the parking tickets?!  
Oh, excuse me, the ice cream company is actually a yogurt company.
Rivi notes that there are three boys missing. Wackner only has two.  
I am a little surprised Rivi has managed to be successful with that temper. Idk what skill set you need to be a top drug dealer, but he attacks people like three times an episode and that seems like a really good way to not build trust and to also get yourself killed?  
Liz and Del talk about what happened in Wackner’s court. Liz asks how they deal with liability. I guess she isn’t Del’s lawyer, then. Del says they have releases and people want to be on TV. Liz says what I’ve been saying, which is that Rivi doesn’t want to be on TV. Del says there are ways around that and references the show Cops as though that’s enough to make this question go completely away.  
Liz references The Apprentice, for those of us who didn’t catch the reference last week and/or for those of us (me!) who wanted to pretend that Wackner wasn’t somehow a commentary on Trump and star power. Ugh.  
(I don’t necessarily think it’s a bad point, I just am not sure that I think it is the most interesting point about the Wackner plot.)  
“Remember how we all watched and laughed and thought it was funny when they fired people?” Liz says. “We? No, no. Hmm, you... you never watched The Apprentice,” Del responds. She did not. Hahahahahaha I love this exchange. It feels very real.
Liz seems less concerned with Wackner and more concerned with Del’s eagerness to turn Wackner into a larger than life personality with a devoted following, which, yes, thank you, Liz, this is actually a much better and more interesting point!  
“That came out of nowhere,” Del says. “No, it didn’t,” Liz responds, correctly.  
Del talks about how Liz represents Wackner, along with murderers, rapists, drug dealers, and yet she wants to draw the line at reality show producer who makes people famous? He’s got a point, even if I’d argue that choosing a romantic partner is not the same as running a business.  
“Would your firm turn down [the producer of The Apprentice] if he wanted to join the roster?” Del asks. “Good point,” Liz sighs, resigned. She’s not happy he’s right, but she knows he is.  
Sigh. I already said some variation of this, but this season seems to have all the right ideas floating around, it’s just choosing the wrong ones to explore deeply and the wrong moments to mention other ones. Things like Liz worrying that someone she’s considering starting a serious relationship with might have some personality traits she doesn’t love can be done through throwaway lines that quickly come back to being about work/plot (that’s what happens in this scene, basically) and I love that. But the existence of STRL and the influence it has over whether or not RL is a black firm at some point can’t be dealt with through references. Wackner becoming increasingly off the rails can’t be turned down to a simmer after reaching boiling point. RL’s unsavory client’s can’t just come up in moments like this; they have to play into a central conflict.  
Like, what good is it to constantly remind the audience that RL represents a ton of “bad guys” if you’re not going to go anywhere with that other than making Liz and Diane occasionally be like, “hmm, good point.” when called out on their client list? This could be a really, really good piece of a larger puzzle about the culture at RL, and instead it feels like it’s a card they play whenever they need some moral complexity. Just... go somewhere with it, please. Either stop pretending that RL are the good guys or have them seriously deal with their client list.
Anyway, then Liz and Del talk about his possible LA move. It’s kinda inconclusive; they talk about work just being work.
Outside of court, Carmen doesn’t believe that Wackner only has two of Rivi’s boys.  
“I don’t know why you’ve been wasting so much time with this joke court, because it’s not gonna magically turn you into a real lawyer, Marissa,” Carmen lashes out. Oooo. Now this is interesting, can I have an extended version of this scene and also all the other Carmen/Marissa scenes that we should’ve gotten in the episodes Carmen was barely in?  
I understand Carmen’s frustration, especially since I imagine she worked pretty damn hard to get into/get through law school. And, as fun and smart as Marissa can be, she does get bored easily, try to skip over the dull moments, and moves on and still always lands on her feet. I can see how that would rub Carmen the wrong way, especially during a stressful moment.
Carmen isn’t exactly a rule follower, but I’d say she is someone who is very conscious of the rules, and, I think someone who values structure more than she lets on (I especially see this in her decision to stay at RL instead of work independently/with Lester).  
Marissa calls Jay for help!
Allegra talks to David Lee, with Liz and Diane in the background. Allegra makes her argument to  David Lee again and it goes over well. I think the writers think there’s more suspense in this plot than there is; it’s pretty obvious from the start that Allegra is correct and Diane and Liz are only correct if the goal is to avoid all conflict.
What is David Lee’s role at STRL? Is there anything else in that office besides awful HR and RL? He talks like he is more RL than STRL and that doesn’t track with what we saw of STRL last year.
Marissa spots a flyer that leads her and Jay to where the missing boy is: another fake court. This was inevitable—I think one of the very first things I said was that Wackner himself seemed fine and decent, but what happens when someone else decides they, too, want to be a judge because they said so—and I’m glad to see the writers go this direction. I actually think this would’ve been an effective build after 5x07 and would’ve kept turning up the tension, so again, most of my issues with this arc lie in 5x08’s momentum killing bullshit. It’s hard to get back into this plot when they lost me last week.
Shocker: Wackner having a reality show inspired more copy cats who take cues from the show and think Marissa is a celebrity.  
Vinetta, the judge of the second court, puts people in “time-out” (read: imprisons them in her basement) and... yeah, I don’t care how kind she is to them, this is not okay! The solution to the prison system is not for people to turn their basements into prisons!  
I don’t know that the writers are TRYING to comment on this here, but there is definitely something to be said about communities that the legal system repeatedly fails finding alternative measures of justice.  
Vinetta is nice and seems reasonable as a judge, but she also has a basement prison her judgments are influenced by her religious believes so, uh, yeah, not good!!!  
Wackner, however, thinks Vinetta’s court is GREAT! He wants to go see it, because “it’s finally happening.” What’s happening? “Justice,” he says. Uhhhhhhh, no. This is just so dangerous, even if everyone involved so far seems to mean well.  
I’m very curious to see how this little thought experiment wraps up (again: I say wraps up because I cannot deal with the thought of this being more than a one season arc).
One thing I love about the Wackner arc—my 5x08 issues aside—is its slow burn. The writers did a phenomenal job of getting me to take Wackner seriously at first, then slowly started to take all the things that seemed great and reasonable about Wackner’s court to their extremes (while still making his judgment on any individual topic* sound). It’s a very fun and entertaining thought experiment, and I think that’s why this arc has largely succeeded for me, even though it’s so far removed from reality.  
* Exceptions to this include policing, prisons, cancel culture, and, of course, parking spaces.  
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nightwingmyboi · 4 years
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I have a massive amount of questions and hopefully you can answer them all. I wont ask all at once but first question. Dick and Tarantula. I know kinda what happens but like... All the titans took her side? Who were the titans and how did they react?
Alright, always happy to help out. Feel free to fire away! To start...I believe you’re thinking about Mirage, not Tarantula. 
Everything with Tarantula occurred in Bludhaven when Dick wasn’t currently working with the Titans. Dick hasn’t ever talked about what happened with Tarantula to anyone, so it’s likely that the Titans have no idea that anything ever happened...the only people who would have an inkling of what went down would probably be Bruce (who after the fact yelled at Dick to stop being suicidal and never looked into the matter further) and Barbara (who broke up with Dick...after seeing Tarantula force herself on him and knee him in the groin...okay). Yeah that’s a whole other issue :/ 
But I’ll explain the situation with Mirage instead. To set the scene: Dick was on the “New Titans” team, which included: Starfire, Beastboy/Changeling, Red Star, Donna Troy, and Pantha. Mirage came from an evil alternate future timeline, and in that timeline she was romantically involved with a version of Dick Grayson, later known as “Deathwing.” Because of this, she is obsessed with Dick and is convinced that they belong together. She’s come back with the rest of the “Team Titans” to the past to kill Donna Troy in order to stop her son from ruling over the world as a dictator. For some reason, she accomplishes this plan...by kidnapping Starfire, replacing her, and tricking Dick into having sex. Yeah, the plot is convoluted as hell. No time to unpack all that! 
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Deathstroke (1991) #14
The team discovers that there is an imposter when Kory manages to break free of her imprisonment and escape. Dick realizes that he was manipulated into having sex with a stranger. Instead of Kory and Dick being able to talk about it alone, Pantha spills the beans in front of the whole team (sans Donna) and fuels the fire with several horrible, crude comments. 
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The New Titans (1988) #90
“Details! From ten to one--how did she score compared to this one?”
Though Mirage had them all fooled, Pantha says that, seeing as Dick slept with her, he definitely should have been able to realize that she was phony. No one on the team comes to Dick’s defense or tries to shift the blame from Dick’s shoulders. Kory’s a bit pissed as well. She’s had a pretty bad couple of days. She wants an explanation from Dick, but Pantha can’t freaking shut up for five seconds so that he can give her one. 
Also, note the comments about how Dick’s hair has changed? And about “Starfire’s” new costume? I’m going to quickly side track to explain just how terrible Mirage is. 
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The New Titans #88
So, while she was disguised as Kory, Mirage pushed Dick into changing his costume and cutting his hair into a mullet. Dick didn’t want to, especially because his discowing costume had huge sentimental value seeing as he’d modeled the look after his dead parent’s circus outfits, but “Kory” kept pestering him. He trusted his girlfriend, so Dick eventually agreed to follow what he thought was her lead. 
I can’t get over how horrible that is...that Dick’s rapist tried to own Dick’s body to the extent that manipulating him into having sex wasn’t enough, that she abused his trust to change his appearance to suit her needs too, specifically altering him in ways he wasn’t comfortable with. It’s disgusting, I don’t know why it’s so often glossed over, and it really gives a whole new reason to hate “Mulletwing.” And Nightwing’s not the only one whose bodily autonomy is completely thrown out the window.
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The New Titans #93
When Mirage was disguised as Kory, she went around and did a bunch of porno, nude photoshoots. I don’t think I have to explain how awful it is that Kory’s appearance was used like this without her consent, especially in such a public way (people were literally stopping her in the streets to talk about it and she was invited onto a news show). Kory is rightfully pissed. Mirage also changes Starfire’s costume as well, to have big cut-outs on the sides. 
Mirage is absolutely horrible. Cannot say that enough.  
Back on the plot: Dick and Kory still have a lot to talk out, but they are on a mission to save Donna, so both of them put their feelings aside for now to help their friend. Later, while Starfire is busy chasing Donna in space, Nightwing runs into Mirage, and she reveals that she was the imposter. 
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Team Titans #2
DICK YOU SLUT! So tell me, who was better? Huh? Huh? Huh? 
Mirage laughs about raping Nightwing with zero remorse. Pantha calls Dick a slut and once again asks who is better. Also like last time, the rest of the team (sans Donna) is standing right there...and doesn’t care or help him out at all. 
Dick is forced to put his feelings aside once again to deal with the threat to Earth. This means working with Mirage to the point where she is just...part of the team for some reason? My reaction is pretty in line with Kory’s here: 
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Despite Kory’s protest, Dick focuses on the mission, and says that they need the manpower and the knowledge of the future that the Team Titans (including Mirage) have in order to defeat Donna and her son (long story, just ignore the plot honestly). But really, they need Mirage...so that she can cause unnecessary, contrived drama between Dick and Kory. 
I’m just going to say it: Kory and Dick are both pretty wildly out of character. Putting aside how stupid and cliché this plot is in the first place, Dick lets Mirage get away with way too much crap, when he’s always been very up front about dealing with bullshit in the past. One of the absolute worst things about having Mirage stick around (and at one point literally go on vacation with the Titans) is how she just keeps acting like her and Dick are together. It’s gross and Dick needed and usually would have put his freaking foot down about it. They also have Kory flipping from acknowledging that Mirage tricked Dick and is at fault for what happened: 
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Team Titans #2
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The New Titans (1988) #90
To having her think that Dick genuinely...loved Mirage and would rather be with her? And blaming Dick for being tricked? Even though Dick and Kory are both victims here? 
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The New Titans (1988) #90
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The New Titans (1988) #97
Starfire has an incredibly high EQ. She and Dick have always been very communicative. To see her completely unwilling to hear him out (and blame him for being raped) is shocking. She acts like an immature teenager, changing her mind all the time and then storming off to go party with random guys in clubs for the next couple days. She has zero of her previously demonstrated emotional maturity and trust. Meanwhile, just as Dick loses his girlfriend, he also loses his apartment, and, to top it all off, Roy swings by to tell Dick that the government is going to shut down the Titans because of all the property damage that happened in their last fight. Nightwing literally can never catch a break. 
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The New Titans (1988) #99
Eventually, the two do make up...and Dick immediately proposes to Kory out of nowhere. She accepts, despite being pissed moments before. They have a wedding the next issue, but it is interrupted by villains from the alternate timeline, including an evil Raven and Deathwing. Afterwards, Dick and Kory’s relationship is never quite the same. 
Seeing Dick and Starfire’s relationship sour, when it was built up over so many years of comics (and with neither of them truly being at fault for the split), is freaking depressing. And Mirage never does get punished really...I’m pretty sure she’s even part of the honor guard that escorts Superman’s body to his tomb when he dies, which is dumb as hell. But that’s how it all went down. 
Just to clarify, since you specifically asked how the team reacted, I kept saying “(sans Donna)” because while most of this was going on Donna was a) giving birth or b) going crazy with power. Later, Donna is shown to know about what happened with Mirage, but she doesn’t really give it much thought. She does comment that Dick is acting strangely and she’s concerned about him, but she also doesn’t seem to connect the obvious dots that Dick is acting off...because he’s still shaken about being raped and tricked. Roy also appears later on to lead the Titans. Mirage is a member of that group, and Roy isn’t really shown to have any strong feelings about it. 
Honestly, I wouldn’t say that the Titans “took Mirage’s side” as you describe. Pretty sure none of them liked Mirage. But, they didn’t stand up for Dick, certainly. There was a lot of victim blaming. Dick’s rape wasn’t given the narrative weight that it deserved, probably due to the time period the comic was made. His teammates mostly didn’t care enough to take sides, used him being raped as a joke, or blamed him for being tricked. 
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The whole story arc is convoluted, the characterizations are terrible, and overall it just sucks that this was written. 
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fruits basket - 2.09 lb
This one’s a tearjerker apparently. I’m not ready sjfsjfjsfsfj. I’ve got tissues handy!
Starting right out with Tohru calling for Kyo? Holy shit.
“Since when did my name have a special ring to it only when you said it?” WHAT THE FUCK WHAT WHSFJSJFSJF
“And if it made you smile, I’d do something over and over again for you.” GUYS THE WAY IM HOLLERING
“Since when did I...” oh my god he’s gonna REALIZE IT. HE’S GONNA REALIZE HE’S IN LOVE WITH HER. HELP. THIS IS THE EP WHERE HE REALIZES. OMG I DIDN’T EXPECT IT TO BE THIS SOONS FJSFJSJF
“I’ll be taking him today.” NO PLEASE DON’T PLEASE
“Wow, you’re both in sync~” Shigure wins a point for that line. 
Oh my god Thoru is SO happy for Kyo because she thinks it’s a good thing, honey nooo. Akito is gonna torment him and I can’t handle it. 
THAT LITTLE HEAD BUMP WAS THE CUTEST THING I’VE EVER SEEN. AND THAT SMILE AFTER. WHAT. HE’S NOT EVEN HIDING IT ANYMORE.
“So you’re kind only to Tohru.” SJFSJ PRETTY MUCH
“She’s... Tohru’s all alone again.” IMDGDGJ
“It’s not like we can defy Akito’s orders.” Okay, but WHY, though? I have an idea. A very terrifying idea. It’s the only thing I can think of, but I don’t want to voice it because it’s way too insane. But it makes so much sense. Akito has a God-complex, sure, we know that. But what if he’s actually the Zodiac God...? It would explain so much, like why no one can defy him or speak out against him. 
Whoa! Kyo’s getting much better at restraining himself! I’m proud. 
I want him to beat Akito’s ass but like.... I also know he can’t do that. It would make it bad for Tohru or someone else. 
Oh here we go. 
Help, I’m not ready for this encounter. I know I said before that I wanted them to meet but I take it back. I want Kyo to turn around and run. 
DON’T CALL HIM A MONSTER SJFSJJSF
Tohru is just so happy for Kyo and I can’t handle it. She doesn’t know what it means to be summoned. :(
Bet? What bet? What’s impossible?
OH. OH.
This is why he’s so adamant about beating Yuki! He made a bet with Akito, and he’d be accepted into the zodiac and not called a monster anymore. 
“But if you can’t win, I’ll lock you up until you die.” WHAT. WHAT. WHAT. NO. NOPE. NOPE. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOUUUUUU. 
HIS LITERAL FREEDOM IS ON THE LINE. I CAN’T.... 
That’s right, Kyo, say it! There’s still time until graduation? Like a year, I think? You can’t just call it. 
DID HE - DID THIS MOTHER FUCKER JUST HIT KYO IN THE FACE WITH THE BELL? IM
“Why are you so deluded?” oh god SHUT THE FUCK UP.
this music
oh my god im scared
“Remember that you’re a monster. And because you’re a monster, your mother is dead.” hOW DARE YOU.
I can’t watch this. omg. Akito’s literally starting his abusive, gaslighting shit and breaking Kyo down. Right from the get go. I’ve never seen Kyo look so terrified!
And this symbolism holy shit. The binds wrapping around both of them, linking them to each other, like a twisted chain. 
I might hate Kyo’s father the most out of anyone on this show, although he and Aktio are currently rivaling for that spot at the moment. How fucking cruel. How awful, how twisted, do you have to be to tell a child that? To blame a little boy for his mother’s death? 
HEY FUCKER LET GO OF HIM ALREADY.
“You should’ve died.” IM ABOUT TO THROW DOWN
Thanks. Thanks a lot, you broke him. 
“Is Tohru Honda the one who’s been encouraging these delusions?” AND IF SHE IS? FUCK OFF. SO WHAT. 
And now Tohru’s a monster too? I cannot believe 
“You don’t know anything.” GO OFF MY SON 
“You don’t know how scared she was.” 
“Even so, she didn’t run away from me. She - She held my hand!” HE SAYS THIS AS AKITO TELLS HIM TO SHUT UP ROFL YOU FUCKING BITCH YOU CAN’T EVEN HANDLE THE TRUTH CAN YOU. What a child!
“She knew that if she let go of my hand, I would never return. That I might never return to anybody. She didn’t take up all of my pain. She didn’t fill in all of the brokenness. But those... those weren’t important. The most important thing... was that she stayed with me. Finding joy in the smallest things, being happy and smiling so cheerfully. Why? She should think of herself more. Doesn’t she think she’s getting the short end of the stick? She thinks that she’s stupid, or that there’s nothing good about her.” OKAY IM SOBBING SJFJSFJSJSF
The traveler’s story!!!
“I love you. I love you so much. Just as you are.” JSFJSFJSJFSF I CANNOT IM CRYING SFJSFJSFJFS ;A; HE ADMITS IT. HE KNOWS NOW. 
Kyo’s crying ;a; 
SHUT UP ASSHOLE
“Don’t tell me that you’re in love with Tohru Honda?” FUCK. I MEAN YES, HE IS! BUT SHIT THAT AKITO FIGURED IT OUT.
I want to smack this fucking jackass SO HARD.
BITCH
IF YOU HIT KYO AGAIN IM GONNA
YES STOP HIM KYO
“You’re crazy.” YES YES YES YES 
oh my god what is Akito using her for 
“Do you think you have the right to fall in love with someone? You think that’s allowed?!” HOLY SHIT THIS IS SO ABUSIVE
“I won’t forgive you...” what was that voice just now?! what?!
oh my god. He has to lie. He has to give up on any chance of being with her... Akito’s successfully broken him down. 
I’m literally crying so much. 
“I’ll come visit you when you’re in confinement.” GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF HIM RIGHT NOW. I’M SO UPSET.
I’m gonna be sick. 
Actually washing his hands because touching Kyo disgusted him. I’m. so. pissed. off. 
YUKI KNOWS KYO DOESN’T HATE HER! He protected Kyo (and Tohru) indirectly and I love my boy so much for that.
Kyo, baby. I’m so sorry. Don’t let this abusive asshole get to you. You deserve all the love and happiness in the world. 
Omg he went to look for Tohru but she’s not there. :( 
“Why do I still look for her?” Because you love her and you need her right now and Akito can kiss my ass. 
OMG THIS FLASHBACK WITH KAZUMA! THIS IS THE ONE THAT WAS HINTED AT LAST EPISODE!”
THIS MUSIC SKFSKFKS
“Even so, you’re alive because you haven’t given up hope yet. It’s because you know that not every soul in this world has rejected you.” YES YES
“Even if you don’t have a glimmer of hope now, it will surely come again. However many times you resist or trample it, however many times you’re thrown into despair, hope will come again just as many times. Repeatedly, again and again, it will bloom.” IM SOBBING THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL. KAZUMA IS JUST THE BEST.
YES, Kyo! Go run to find your girl! <3
OH MY GOD THIS FLASHBACK. KYO AND KYOKO I KNEW IT KNEW KNE HE KNEW HER HE KNEW HER!
“A man’s promise.” “I couldn’t keep it.” OH? WHAT’S THIS?! WHAT?!
“But she bloomed before me.” WHAT IS THIS ROMANTIC BULLSHIT IM HSKFSFK
“She continued to bloom. A small.... small flower.” HE SAW LITTLE TOHRU TOO I CANT HANDLE THIS
SHE’S HIS FLOWER YA’LL WHAT THE FUCK IM DYING IM CRYING IM SFKSFKSFK
He found her!
“Precious... my precious.... Tohru!” HOLY SHIT.
I’m gone guys.
I’m just gone.
She noticed he’s hurt!!! 
He... he doesn’t even care anymore. He doesn’t care about fighting to resist confinement. Or being accepted. Or not being called monster. He only cares that she’s here, with him. Oh god im crying so much this is OTP levels of love and I cant.
HER SMILE!!! HIS SMILE!!! IM DEAD
“I love you. I don’t want to take anything else from you. I don’t want to trample you ever again. At some point, I hoped we could always be together somewhere far off. But I won’t hope that anymore. I won’t hope that I could make you my own anymore. I won’t hope that, so please... at least.. at least be by my side, for the time I have left.” -high pitched sobbing-
HE GENTLY STOPPED HER FROM FALLINGSFSFKSFKSF
“Sheesh, what am I going to do with you?” SND G HE OTOK HER HAND LSFSF
“I want to be with you. Until we’re separated far apart. Until the very last moment.” 
I... 
I have no words. 
I’m a blurry mess of tears and I’m shaking. This was so monumentally beautiful, everything I hoped Kyo’s realization for his love for Tohru would be. I physically cannot handle it. They are so perfect. Kyo just wants to be with her for the remaining time he has left. He has no future. He just wants her. That is the most heartbreaking thing. I hate Akito SO fucking much right now. 
This might just be my new favorite episode. Wow. 
I need a break before I watch ep 10. 
128 notes · View notes
trouvelle · 4 years
Text
Bet
For DCMK Emogust 2020 — 04.08: Bet. @dcmkemogust20xx  Here’s HeiShin brotp bc we cannot have enough.
Fandom: Detective Conan Pairing: Heiji & Shinichi Rating: G Genre/Tags: Friendship Summary: Shinichi wants to give a memorable best man speech.
Shinichi stood in front of the audience with a glass in his hand, and clinked on the glass three times. He chuckled to the audience. "Hattori did that at my wedding, so.. " he commented. "I figured I should do it too."
He cleared his throat and began.
Hey everyone,
I am here to talk about our man of the hour here, the Great Detective of the West, Hattori Heiji. We've been best friends for years, even though people have been expecting us to be rivals. Everyone says we’re polar opposites—I’m calm and he’s hot-blooded, where I’m water and he’s the fire—you name it, we’ve heard it. And it’s true, he’s like a flame that can never be extinguished. 
He’s the best kind of guy to have around. Wherever I am, whatever I am doing, I know he will always have my back. Hattori’s not the best at saying what he’s feeling, but his actions speak for him more than enough. He’s not the type to sugarcoat things. He’s called me on my bullshit more often than one can imagine.
Shinichi could see Ran biting her bottom lips, and he shot her a smile before continuing.
Although he’s got quite an infamous temper—which I’m pretty sure everyone here knows—Hattori is generally a happy person. He’s been even happier after he started officially dating Kazuha-chan here, the person who is responsible for making up his impulse control.
And the world has a funny way of rewarding him, I’d like to think, because the universe gave him Kazuha-chan. I am a very logical person, but I'd go as far as saying that she is magical—she's a miracle. Without her, Hattori would be putting a lot more victims in hospitals, either with his katana or his voice alone.
People laughed at this, even Kazuha, and Shinichi felt more than a little accomplished.
I used to think that it would take a lot longer for him to successfully confess his lifelong love to her. Some of us here even had a pool going on. A friend of ours still has Hattori’s first declaration of love as her ringtone, to this day. When he finally made it happen, I was jealous of him, I’ll admit. His life’s complete as is. 
Although, Ran and I would probably never be the way we are now if it wasn't for his endless teasing and pushing. We were married last year, and he was my best man, obviously. I remember looking at him and thinking: “God, I hope he doesn’t screw this up,” because Hattori has a knack for screwing things up,
Again, Shinichi heard the crowd laugh, and a soft chuckle involuntarily left his lips.
but he delivered perfectly. That’s just Hattori for you. He always wanted everything to be perfect.
Like how he had so many plans and backup plans for his confession back then—which to this day, I will never understand how you never even got the hint that he was about to confess to you, Kazuha-chan, because some of them were so obvious.
Like how he wrote and scrapped hundreds of speeches before settling with his best man speech for my wedding. He never said it, but I know he did. So I want to give a memorable best man speech too for the man of the hour..
Everyone’s eyes were on him. He drew in a shaky breath. He cannot mess this one up. Hattori would actually laugh out loud at him and hold it above his head forever.
He didn’t even ask me to be his best man—he just assumed that it was the most natural thing that nobody had to ask. I would deny this at first, but looking back I think I was more excited about their wedding than anyone was. Well, except maybe his mother, whom he said already had their temple booked since they were literally 5 years old.
I know, I know. I can’t believe that Hattori didn’t believe everyone saw it coming. It’s been frustrating, really. There’s this kind of pride that sticks up your ass when you painfully watch your best friend slowly realize his feelings, slowly confess his feelings, then slowly do it all over again, this last time with a ring. Unfortunately, I won’t have the opportunity to return the favor, so I guess this has to be my best man speech to him.
Shinichi lowered his gaze to his hand, where his ring was glistening, the very wedding ring that his best man helped choose. He paused to clench his eyes shut, pushing out the tears that had been threatening to spill. 
Of course, when I got started on my speech, I expected him to be sitting next to Kazuha-chan, complaining about not being praised. Grinning, laughing, and cursing like he always does. We’ve had a running joke since we were in high school—we’d say “I bet you’re going down,” and “No I bet you’re going down first,” It’s never really an actual bet, but guess what Hattori?
Looks like you lost the bet, huh?
His voice caught in between his chuckles, and Shinichi heaved a deep breath as he moved on to say the next lines. It wasn't really a problem that tears blurred out his vision, because he did not have a paper on him anyway. He knew what he wanted to say.
Being happy is really hard right now, man. You’ve made so much difference in all our lives. I can literally hear your voice saying how much of a waste of our time to mourn something that’s already happened. But it feels awfully wrong right now. I lost my friend, the best kind of friend. I lost my brother. 
His voice broke toward the end. He had to pause again, 
I won’t even need to look for you when we see each other later. You’ll probably scream out my name before I even get there properly. 
I’ll see you when I see you again, Hattori.
Rest easy.
63 notes · View notes
asterekmess · 4 years
Note
1-11 Scott/Posey Stans always try to deflect criticism of the way Scott McCall is written in Teen Wolf by claiming that ANY attempt by a fan, a viewer, or a critic of holding Scott to a level of behavior that one would expect of a character who is a main and the self-proclaimed hero of the show is “racism”. Except that their accusations don’t make any sense whatsoever, because Scott’s canonical shitty actions and behavior don’t stem from his race (or canonical lack of thereof.)
Okay hun, this is a doozy, so I’m putting it under a Read More.
2-11 Scott McCall is mean. He’s mean to Stiles, he’s mean to Allison, he’s mean to Derek, he’s mean to Peter, he’s mean to Cora, he’s mean to Lydia, he’s mean to Jackson, he’s mean to Erica, he’s mean to Isaac, he’s mean to Malia, he’s mean to Malia, he’s mean to Kira, he’s mean to Liam, he’s mean to Chris, and he’s even mean to Theo (“You are barely even human!”) Scott McCall is deliberately rude to the Hales, Boyd, Ethan, Danny, Hayden, Jiang, Tierney, and Melissa.
3-11 Scott McCall deliberately USES, INSULTS, HUMILIATES and DEHUMANIZES people in ways that demonstrate that he is fully aware of what he’s doing. Scott McCall deliberately disregards other people’s needs in order to fulfill his own. Tyler Posey being half Mexican doesn’t change the fact that his fictional character Scott McCall is a whiny coward and an abusive piece of trash,
4-11 and that his so called ‘defense squad’ enjoys the power fantasy that Scott can be cruel, can lie, can assault, can lash out, can violate other people’s boundaries, bodily autonomy and consent, can commit premeditated murder, can break the law without impunity, can dehumanize, can gaslight and victim blame his friends to his heart’s content and no one should ever hold it against him
5-11 In both the production and in some Scott supremacist fanfics, there’s often the premise that people are evil and in the wrong if they call Scott out on his bullshit or hold his toxic behavior against him. Take Season 1. As much as the Scott McCall defense squad brigade love framing Stiles and Derek getting shit done and prioritizing people’s life over Scott’s jealous fits and temper tantrums as the height of depravity
6-11 Scott/Posey Stans consciously and steadfastly ignore all the cruel things that Scott says and does throughout the seasons, such as “How much Adderall have you had today?” OR “What are you trying to do?! I just made first line! I got a date with a girl who I can't believe wants to go out with me and everything in my life is perfect! Why are you trying to ruin it?!” OR “The hunters had a reason to slaughter your entire family and pack”
7-11 (As an aside, it’s amazing to me how Fanon rewrites Scott as this brilliant thinker and strategist and mastermind who is so much smarter and better than everyone else in every way even though Canon Scott spends the entirety of Teen Wolf doing absolutely nothing except get his ass handed to him by everyone, whining about wanting to be popular/get his dick wet/play lacrosse, screaming at his friends and girlfriends, being utterly useless when left to his own devices,
8-11 and planning to bite Stiles against his will because he doesn’t know what to do. But I digress.) Or take Season 5. In the rain argument in Lies of Omission (5x09), Scott McCall’s hypocritical, dehumanizing speech to Stiles is one of the meanest, cruelest, most disgusting manipulations I have ever seen a television character deliver to another television character they supposedly cared about. It’s victim blaming and gaslighting at its vilest.
9-11 And, of course, the Scott McCall defense squad focuses exclusively on the idea that Stiles didn’t behave “the right way” in that scene (AKA taking Scott’s bullshit without clapping back like Scott wanted and demanded), and cannot entertain for one moment the idea that Scott provoked that response by dehumanizing Stiles and by accusing Stiles of being a violent, dangerous, inhuman monster and serial killer based on Theo’s words alone.
10-11 After all, it’s part of their power fantasy. Scott being “abandoned” and “mistreated” by his “ungrateful” friends serves another type of fantasy: the poor oppressed martyr. It doesn’t matter why Scott is abandoned or who is leaving Scott, it’s all about Scott McCall’s right to own people and demand his friends’ love, friendship, loyalty, sympathy, forgiveness, obedience and devotion without having to account for his own abusive behavior.
11-11 And that’s Scott Stans’ point: Only Scott McCall Is Important and Damn Derek/Stiles/Liam/Other Teen Wolf character for having a life and motivations that don’t revolve around Scott! To them (and to Canon Scott), the pack exists not to serve all its members, but to serve and validate Scott McWhinyCall. Because, after all, that’s what antis want for themselves – validation in the face of shortcomings and bad behavior.
Wow, that was a lot of anger. Do you feel any better after venting that? I really hope so, it honestly looks p cathartic. Okay, I apologize in advance if I don’t come across as quite so passionate, I’m kinda bleh today and I already used up all my righteous fury in an earlier post, so I’ll do my best.
I honestly understand the worry about people disliking Scott as having racist motivations. As I said in another post, there aren’t a lot of Latino (wait, I read somewhere to use latine? Should I use that instead? I’ll use that, someone correct me if I’m wrong. The thing also said latinx was not great bc of pronunciation issues? I’m not educated enough on this. Halp, please.) Latine protagonist characters in popular television, especially for teen dramas like Teen Wolf. Intentional or not, written into the show or not, Scott is half-latine. His mother is a latine woman. We don’t see them speak spanish or take part in any specific cultural traditions, but that doesn’t make him white. Yes, his character was written for a white guy, but Tyler Posey is the one who got the part and we can’t strip him of his heritage just because the show originally meant for Scott to be white. My husband is almost always mistaken for white, even though he’s also half-latine, but that doesn’t make him any less latine. There’s little enough representation as it is, and if we start being picky about whether characters were ‘intended’ or ‘written’ as POC, everything will just fall to shit. Plus, as a white person, I have literally no rights to decide that Scott’s white. I’m cool with that. Would prefer to just stay in my lane, if I’m honest. With Scott established as being a POC, it’s totally reasonable for other POC and fans of Scott to be worried that those of us who don’t like him have that opinion because of either passive or active racism. There are a lot of occasions where Protags of Color were either liked less, or actively disliked for just being ‘not white.’ It also doesn’t help that Scott is one of very few “good” Characters of Color in TW (whether we agree or not, he is presented as a ‘good guy’). We have Boyd, who dies in 3A and doesn’t get much character developement in the meantime, and Kira, who sticks around for a while, then has to leave because of ‘losing control’ which is apparently a very common stereotype for POC, especially within Fantasy or Supernatural settings. Other than them, the other POC are either bad guys or just morally dubious. I’m not sure where Deaton falls on the scale either. I understand it being frustrating to some people for us to take one of the few “good’ characters and see him/describe him as a villain. It’s important for white people, and honestly, anyone not latine (because even POC can be racist against people who aren’t their race) to be self-aware and analyze the various reasons why we dislike Scott and make sure that we aren’t accidentally being passively racist. Just because we’re sure we aren’t, doesn’t mean we shouldn’t double check. And if we find we are, then it’s up to us to correct that mindset and educate ourselves. There is no shame in learning that you have not great habits or mindsets and working to fix them. That’s how growth works. It’s equally important that when we’re writing fic, we watch how we portray him and the other POC in the show. I’m not saying we can’t write Scott bashing fic. Fuck knows that I’ve written plenty of Bad Friend Scott McCall fic, and I don’t intend to stop. But we still need to be self-critical and make sure that we’re not writing Scott (or the others, please assume from here on out I’m saying Scott and the others) into racist stereotypes. We shouldn’t reduce him to just a “Yes” man, or make him constantly submissive, or constantly vicious and angry and mean for no reason. It’s one thing to write him as doing something bad or cruel and making it realistic for the story. It’s quite another to have him just randomly pop in to say “fuck you” and hit someone (I’m not referencing something specific here, I’m just saying dumb stuff). Honestly, I don’t know enough about this and I’m not really entitled to go into too much more detail. Instead, I’d recommend that even if you don’t think you’re hating Scott for racist reasons, still read This Post about racism in fandom/fanfic. When I read it, it was both reassuring and intimidating. I have anxiety, so I’m usually worried about doing things for ‘the wrong reason’ even when that’s not actually my reason for doing the thing. Reading this gave me a clearer view of my own thoughts, and it honestly made me feel a little more comfortable with my own mentality because it gave me a structure to think about and consider when I’m worried that I’m doing something racist. It’s worth the read. I’d also like to reiterate the suggestion on that post, to check out the blog Writing with Color, which is a great resource for writing Characters of Color. It doesn’t have as many resources for fanfiction writing and the grey area involved in writing characters that your reader already knows, but their ask box is closed at the moment, so maybe when it opens again someone’ll send in an ask about it (If I actually remember to, I’ll do it myself, but that’s unlikely, so if one of you feels so inspired, please do so and help a fic writer out!)
Now. I cannot speak for every single fan of TW who is anti-Scott in some way. Obviously not. But, I can speak for myself and for the experiences I’ve had within the fandom. My issues with Scott are many and complex and a lot of it is intrinsically connected to issues with the writing of the show in general and with the creators and the calls they made. In all the conversations that I’ve had with other fans, I’ve never seen anyone list Scott’s race as a problem. I’ve never seen anyone talk about how they wished he were more submissive or more obedient. Maybe that he would listen to actual adults once in a while, but not that he be unreasonably obedient of white characters. I’m not all-knowing on the subject of racist stereotypes, but nearly every complaint I’ve seen was based on details from the show and specific moments and dialogue, not just a general disgust with his existence. Furthermore, for all the anger I see directed at those of us that prefer Stiles, Derek, or even Peter, I’ve also never talked to anyone who liked those characters who wasn’t willing to admit that there were plenty of points in canon where they fucked up or did something wrong. Again, I don’t know everyone in fandom, so maybe there are people who won’t admit those things, but they aren’t in the majority.
I personally hate the way I see Scott treat people in the show. I hate the really vicious things he says and does and the chronic lack of self-awareness or growth. Even worse, the way the show excuses his behavior, be it intentional or not, has soured a lot of other parts of the show. The clearly impulsive moments that could easily be excused by him being a really stressed out teenager make me a lot more frustrated than they would, had I not known that he would never get better. That he would never stop saying things like that. I can’t even make myself enjoy the genuinely sweet moments with him and Allison or him and his mom, etc. I might hate that he left Stiles’ messages unanswered and skipped an entire day of school during a crisis to hang out with Allison, but I would’ve liked to enjoy their banter, the soft moments between them that are actually really nice. I can’t though, because so many other things about his character have ruined that for me.
It isn’t okay to attack people for disliking a character and throw around such charged words like “racist” and “abuse-apologist” or anything else. First off, this is fiction, and we all need to keep that in mind. These are not real people we’re talking about. Secondly, calling someone racist because they disagree with you (unless they are actively saying/doing something actually racist) isn’t okay and it isn���t an adult way to deal with things. Someone not liking a character doesn’t automatically make them racist. Someone happening to prefer a white character over a Character of Color doesn’t automatically make them racist. Sure, they might have passively racist motivations that even they don’t realize. But it is not up to strangers to come yell and call names without proof. There are plenty of reasons that have nothing to do with race (Not saying “i don’t see race.” I’m saying “Not About Race”) that I like Stiles over Scott, ranging from the fact that he’s physically more my type, to sharing a neurological condition with him, to just preferring Dylan O’Brien as an actor because he makes me fucking cry every time he cries on screen. What’s important is that we self analyze and check ourselves and our opinions to make sure that we aren’t falling into the racist habit of disliking Characters of Color for no real reason. But that isn’t something that other people can do for us, and it’s not their place to tell us what we think. Calling a stranger racist for saying they hate Scott’s behavior in the show doesn’t do anything for racial equality. It just makes people stop listening to the word ‘racist.’
There are times I seriously get frustrated with TW to the point of considering not watching anymore. Of closing my blog and stopping reading fanfic entirely because every single time I read a fic where Scott’s a ‘good guy’ or a ‘good alpha’ or where Derek is glad to be a beta again because he likes following Alpha Scott, I get squicked so badly I have to click out and just sit there for a second to settle. I can’t disentangle the things he does/says in the show from the fic.And I’ve written Good Friend Scott McCall fics. I have multiple wips where he’s either a decent person or he grows from being a dick to being a decent person. With my own work, I know that there’s an awareness to his behavior in the show and an active intent to rewrite/fix his behavior so that he is a nice person. With other people’s works, I don’t have a guarantee (unless it’s mentioned in tags or author’s notes, and I don’t expect people to have to explain themselves that way), and it personally makes me uncomfortable to read something when I don’t know if the writer actually sees Scott that way. It’s a personal preference, and one that I stick to pretty strictly.
Scott brings me no joy, and with him as the main character, I’ve come perilously close to cutting myself off from the most welcoming, loving fandom I’ve ever been a part of (except the Merlin fandom, but I don’t blame anyone who can’t compete with them. They’re fucking magical.). But I’m still here. I still love, if not the reality of the show, then all the potential I see in it when I watch. I love watching Derek and Stiles interact with each other and with the other side characters. I love seeing the glimpses of Boyd that we get, the tiny scenes of Erica, the snarky moments with Isaac. I even like Kira, though I haven’t seen a whole lot of the show where she’s in it/genuinely can’t remember it (I can’t even remember how far I’ve seen total, but I don’t think it was past S4, and I haven’t seen past S2 in months and months) and she spends most of her scenes with Scott, which just....kind of ruins the scenes for me.
That’s the glory of fandom though, of media in general. I don’t have to like Scott. I can love Derek and Stiles instead and I can choose not to read fics where Scott is a major player or an Alpha at all. I can read fics where Kira’s part of the pack without Scott ever getting involved, and see her interact with everyone else. Or fics where Boyd never dies and watch him bake or read or play lacrosse with the pack. I can curate my own experience, whether that means blocking tags or users or filtering fics, or just straight up skipping certain scenes/episodes of the show itself. I cope with my frustrations by coming on this blog and ranting about it. Yeah, this is a public space, but it’s also a space people choose to view. If they don’t like my opinions, they can block me or unfollow me or all of the above. They don’t have to read it, just like I don’t have to read any of their pro-scott stuff. I also read fic that does explore how Scott’s behavior is problematic and cruel sometimes. Fic that either erases him or turns him into the villain, I find fun and interesting and the relationship between him and Stiles cracking into pieces is something I find extremely cathartic, so I read it pretty much every chance I get (though, i’m so picky about fics I read, you’ve no idea). I also write fic. I write the most mushy, self-indulgent sterek fic and Stiles-centric fic and and Scott bashing fic that I can possibly write. It’s a joy and a therapy all its own. Fuck, I’m rewriting the entirety of canon for fuck’s sake and I’ve made so many changes that at this point I honestly have issues remembering what happens in the show, bc I rewrote the damn thing.
At the same time, Scott fans are gonna write their power fantasies. They’re gonna write anti-Stiles stuff and anti-Derek stuff, and whatever else tickles their fancy. They’re gonna make their own rant posts and gifsets. And to be quite honest, I don’t give a single flying fuck. I already have those tags filtered out on Ao3. I don’t follow any pro-scott tumblrs. That shit doesn’t show up for me most of the time, unless it’s not tagged properly, and even then I just click out, take a second, and move on.
No one is required to like or dislike specific characters, and it’s unfair of anyone to tell us otherwise. Fandom is built on choice. The choice to disagree with canon, or to re-envision it altogether, or to love it entirely. No one can take that away from you. So long as you aren’t hurting anybody, just keep doing you, friend. I’m here for you to vent to when it gets to be too much.
<3
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xxisxxisxxis · 4 years
Text
Gateway Drug | Part Seventy-Nine
Words: 4.1k
Warning(s): explicit language, violence, explicit sexual situations, substance abuse, mentions of assault
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I hum along to the Christmas music softly playing over the speakers of the grocery store as I walk down the aisles, pushing my buggy, looking at the different types of cereal. 
Nikki doesn't like sweet cereals aside from Captain Crunch, so I just grab a box of it before heading to grab toilet paper and paper towels, along with some eggs, and head to the checkout line, my attention stalling on a tabloid on display. 
"Nikki Sixx & Vanity: Their 'Friendship' Timeline," it reads, a picture of Vanity and Nikki plastered on the front...I exhale sharply.
I can't believe it's been four months since Vanity aired out their dirty laundry on TV. 
That means Duff and I have been together for three and a half months...
I'm quickly backing up and walking to the sexual health section, examining the many brands of pregnancy tests. 
I grab the cheapest and go back to the line. 
"I told them not to put those out," my cashier states to me when it's my turn, as she sees me give another glance to the magazine with my husband and his mistress on the front.
When she gets to the pregnancy test, she clears her throat. 
"Celebratory or...?" She asks, swiping the test. 
I pretend I don't hear her. 
I shut my trunk, my arms wrapped around grocery bags as I step to the front door, of the house, the sun setting through the neighborhood, and I sigh heavily as I grab my key. 
I haven't been home in a couple days, avoiding Nikki as much as I can, but I know we need groceries in the house and I know he hasn't left to get any, and even though I'm done with him, I don't want him to starve or something. 
Opening the front door, the house is a wreck just from a glance, and I quietly shut the door in case he's asleep, and head to the kitchen.
I quickly stop in my tracks when I see through the dim light, coming from the single lamp in the foyer, figures moving in the living room, a light littering of giggles flittering through the air…
I turn the lights on, nearly dropping the groceries to see eight girls in lingerie, girls at least in their late teens, piled on Nikki—and Steven—lips swollen from making out with each other and euphoric glows casting over all of them. 
I'm at a loss for words. 
Nikki and Steven just look at me, Steven looking like a guilty kid. 
"Is that your wife?" One of the girls straddling Nikki asks, looking at me, wide eyed. 
"Ex-wife." I correct her. 
This is where the story tends to get misconstrued. If you ask Nikki or Steven what happened, they'll tell you it went down like this…
"Vivian put the fuckin' gun down!" Nikki yells at me as I hold his shotgun, the girls screaming and scattering like roaches while he and Steven run to the backyard as I pump a bullet into the chamber and fire off, missing them by a couple inches as our wall by the back door is blown to hell, chasing after them and emptying the gun in our backyard whilst trying to shoot them. 
What actually happened…
"Get out of my house." I tell the girls harshly and they look at me, pissy. 
"If I want them here, they can be here." Nikki argues. 
"They're babies, Nikki!" I shout, and the girls all defensively simultaneously let out their ages, ranging between 18 to 20, but I honestly don't see how some of them are over 17. "Then let me see your ID." I tell them. 
"We came to hook up, we didn't come to get interrogated." One of them states. 
"Okay, well, you've had your fifteen minutes with Nikki Sixx so you can get out of my house." I repeat.
"Fuck off!" She exclaims to me and I raise my brows. 
Fuck it. 
I go to our bedroom and grab what I need, and I don't give anybody a warning before firing off shotgun shrapnel into our glass ceiling, shards of mirror raining down as I hear the girls holler and cry out in fear, scampering to the door in their heels, and once the gun is unloaded, I look in the living room and see fluffy black and blonde hair peek up from behind the couch, their eyes bugging, pupils taking up most of their eye.
When the cops showed up, I said I accidentally fired into the ceiling while trying to clean the gun. They were fans of Nikki so they didn't give us a fine for public disturbance, and they didn't ask why eight girls were in our lawn in lingerie, either.
"I cannot believe you." I grit through my teeth when Steven blocks my entrance into their rehearsal studio, his heavy panting clouding the words trying to come from his mouth. "Did you run here?!" I exclaim and he nods, still trying to catch his breath, still trying to get his apology out that I can't even hear because he's talking but not saying a word due to his breathing. "Moron." I hiss, shoving him out of my way to get inside. 
"Viv, wait!" He musters out, following me. 
"Fuck you!" I shout. 
"Vivian, please, let me—" he gasps for breath some more. 
"—I hope you're having an asthma attack or something, I really do, dumbass, I really do." I march away from him and he grabs my wrist, a pathetic look on his face. 
"Look—"
"—No, you 'look,' I refuse to be the little bitch that just lays on her back and let's everybody fuck her to hell with their bullshit. It's gross and it's disgusting and you should be ashamed of yourself for even being apart of it, Steven, because I thought you wouldn't do that shit to me. Just 'haha it's so hot to do stupid shit that'll hurt Vivian,'" I mock his voice, and he tries to talk again, "No, just shut up and go suck on Nikki's balls some more because I don't think those teenage girls did it enough!" I turn on my heel go to find the guys. 
"You're not mad about their age, you're mad Nikki didn't give a fuck." He gets out, taking deep breaths and I stop and turn to look at him, rolling my jaw. "You're jealous, and you know you are, and it's okay and normal to be, Viv, I know you still—"
"—Know I still what, Steven? Hmm? Love him?" I furrow my brows, stepping to him, my heels clicking on the floor when I get face to face to him, our nose nearly touching, my voice shaking with anger as I say, "He could die tomorrow and I wouldn't give a single fuck because he's been dead to me for months. And as of right now, you are to. So don't come at with me trying to strike up some empathy for a person I feel absolutely apathetic about." I sneer quietly, turning. "And stay away from teenagers. I don't care if they're eighteen or nineteen, they're still fucking kids."
I grind my teeth together as I leave him standing in the hallway before I try to go into the girls bathroom, only for it to be locked. 
"Damn it." I mumble, holding back tears, glancing at the door of the boys bathroom. 
Without shit given, I open the door and walk in, seeing Izzy standing over the toilet, cigarette in his mouth, peeing. 
He glances over his shoulder and looks at me. 
"Viv." He says the best he can, smoke puffing past his lips. 
"Izzy." I reply, sitting my purse on the sink, digging through it. "Sorry, the girls bathroom was taken." I mumble. 
"No problem." He replies. "Not like you haven't seen it before." He adds and I roll my eyes. 
"Unfortunately." I sigh out, grabbing the box with the pregnancy test in it. "Hurry up, please." 
He looks at me to say something smart back, but looks at the box and his face falls. 
"Jesus fuck, Viv, what do you have that for?" He asks me. 
"Okay, I know you went to high school in Indiana and their version of Sex Education was just ways to stick your dick in a pickup truck's tail pipe without getting carbon monoxide poisoning, but when a man and woman have sex, they have a risk of procreation." I tell him. 
"With Duff? " He asks me with a confused face. 
"No, I got Bret Michaels and Willie Nelson to cum in a cup and I mixed it together and went from there." I sarcastically hiss.
"Fuck you, smart ass, I was asking a legitimate question." He zips his pants back up and steps aside for me. 
"Yes, with Duff. I haven't had sex with Nikki in months." I tell him. 
"Sorry, I didn't know if you were doing them both or what." He shrugs and I glare at him. 
"No. I'm not." I inform him, pulling my dress up and my panties down. 
"Okay, that's my cue." He says, turning away from me, in reference to my naked bottom half. 
"Not like you haven't seen it before." I repeat what he said earlier and he chuckles, going to open the door. "You're leaving?" I ask him, quickly, and he looks at me.
"Yeah?"
"I need support." I tell him, honestly sounding scared and he leans his head back and rubs his eyes. 
"Vivian, babe, I can just go get Duff—"
"—No, no, he doesn't need to know I even think I'm pregnant." I state, panicked. "Look, it'll take a few minutes but I can't wait for the result by myself, it'll drive me up the wall." I plead with him. 
"Well, what if you are pregnant, are you gonna tell him, then?" 
"I-I don't know." I admit. "We'll cross that bridge when we get there just, please, stay in here with me."
He lets out a heavy breath before nodding, rubbing his forehead. 
"Alright, alright. Just piss on the stick because I'm missing rehearsal for this." 
It was an agonizing wait, but once Izzy glanced at his watch and said, "alright, it's been long enough," I felt like it had only been a few seconds. 
"Maybe we should a wait a little bit more." I suggest.
"Viv, it's been ten minutes. You already put it off once before, come on, now. Cowgirl up." He tells me. 
"Okay." I breathe out, anxious, rubbing my lips together and shakily reaching for the test before quickly snatching away. "I can't do it." I say to him, shaking my head. "You look at it and tell me." 
"Vivian—"
"—Please?" I beg, giving him my best puppy dog eyes and he lets out a breath and reaches for the test, looking at it, nodding a little. 
"Well, Stripey, we're at the bridge, how're you gonna cross it?" He asks me, handing me the test, and I see a perfectly shaped "+" on it. 
I started to panic, and think irrationally, as I do when I'm backed into a corner. So in my panicked state, the best thing I saw for me to do, was...
"You are fucking insane." He tells me sharply, leaning against the sink. "Like evil insane." 
"Izzy, I don't know what else to do aside from just get rid of it or hope and pray I miscarry, and that's kinda fucked." I explain, holding back tears. 
"You want to fuck Nikki and just play it off as his—that's more fucked up than praying the damn thing away!" He whipser yells. "And what about Duff? What the hell happens to him when you pull that shit?" 
"I don't know, Izzy, alright? But he doesn't need a kid to worry about when he's just starting to get a taste of what he's wanted for years, now, and I don't want to—"
"—He's going to be fucked up with the idea of you still screwing Nikki when he's under the impression that you two are gonna be this magical little fairytale of unicorns and sparkles and love and shit, Vivian!" 
"I know, but I don't know what else to do!" I reply in the same tone. 
"Oh, my God." Izzy exhales smoke from his fresh cigarette. "You can't tell me this shit. You shouldn't have even let me know about this because now I'm a fucking accomplice to your batshit crazy scheme." He scolds me. 
"Izzy—"
"—You are the fucking devil, Vivian. Axl was right. You are the actual devil." 
"Well, you tell me what to do, Izzy, because that's the only thing I can come up with!" 
"Why does it matter if the child is Nikki's or not, you two are getting divorced anyway, so why does it matter if it's somebody else's?" He questions, and I stay quiet. "You are filing for divorce, right?" 
More silence. 
"Oh. My. God."
"Izz—"
"—Will you quit incriminating me with you when you do stupid shit?!" He lets out, slightly panicking. "Now im gonna be fucked sideways if they find out I knew and never said anythi--why the fuck were you even screwing Duff if you weren't a thousand percent sure you were gonna leave Nikki?!" 
"Because I thought I was but no—"
"—Izz, you alright?!" 
"Duff." Izzy  mouths to me. "Shhhit." 
"Answer him." I mouth back. 
"Yeah, man, I'm good...just really, um, fucked on that pizza from earlier!" He lies as I shove the pregnancy test box back in my purse along with the test, and zip it up. 
"Okay, dude, just making sure!" Duff replies, the sound of him walking away letting us know the coast is clear. 
Just to make sure Izzy sticks his head out of the door, and glances at me. 
"Go," he motions and I do. "Last door on the left of that hall." He adds and I go in that direction, opening the door and seeing Axl, Duff, Slash and even Steven has joined them. 
"Hey," Duff's face lights up when he sees me, and be puts his bass down as I walk to him. 
He wraps an arm around my waist and leans in, pressing a chaste kiss to my lips. 
"Hi," I smile when he pulls away, looking into his eyes, while I can see Izzy staring at me from the corner of my eye, taking a drink from his cup with this look on his face like I've just killed his best friend. 
I honestly might if I'm not careful. 
Once their rehearsal is over, it's around 5:00pm, and my stomach is killing me. 
"Can we get food?" I ask him, my hand in his as we step to the parkinglot. 
"No, I'm just gonna let you starve." He sarcastically lets out and I cut my eyes up at him. "Where do you wanna eat?" He asks next, letting my hand go so he can grab his pack of Marlboros and settle one between his lips, lighting it, before grabbing my hand again. 
"I don't know." I shrug. 
"I thought you said you're hungry." He says next. 
"I am—that doesn't mean I know what I want to eat." I add and he just looks at me. 
"Do you want a burger?" He suggests and I wrinkle my nose. "Okay...chicken?" Again, I don't look pleased. "Dennys?"
"That's fine with me." I nod. 
"Thank God." He sighs. "My car or yours?" He asks next. 
"Doesn't matter." I tell him. 
"Alright, we'll take mine." He says, stepping to the passenger side, opening the door for me without a second thought. 
"Aww," Slash says as he comes out of the building, teasing Duff from behind his shades and his own cigarette. 
Duff just smiles and flips him off, walking to the driver's side. 
"I'll see you later tonight, man!" Slash calls. 
"Alright!" Duff says back, shutting the door, fumbling for his keys to put them into the ignition. 
"You guys are going out tonight?" I ask him as he cranks the car. 
"Yeah, you can come." He offers and I shake my head a little. 
"Um, I was actually gonna go visit with Sharise and Skylar for a few hours, tonight." I tell him. 
(Pt. 79 CONT.)
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