#I checked it the other day and say to myself

[firexima]

YOUR ART IS INCREDIBLE DO YOU HAVE ANY TIPS /nf

Thanks so much!! I’m so grateful to hear you like my work :)

And boy oh boy I could go oooon and on and on about tips, like genuinely pages upon pages or talking hours upon hours but I’ll share a few things!

1: Put your drawing in black and white to check the values

TLDR: It helps check that your drawings are clear and helps figure out what needs to be brighter/darker.

-> First if all, I want to explain what value is. Value is how bright or dark a color is. Every color has value even when fully saturated and those values change depending on the color. Red for example is naturally darker in value than yellow but naturally brighter in value than blue. You want to be aware and therefore deliberate with how you use value in your art.

Push your darks and push your lights— unless there’s a deliberate reason as to why you don’t want to, you want a fairly large range in values: that means that if you were to put your drawing in black and white only, you would be able to see a large range of greys going from very dark to very bright, black to mid/light grey, mid/dark grey to white depending on the mood of your drawing.

This helps to give your art more depth and volume and generally helps to read better and is nice to look at. When you’re creating art it can be difficult to keep track of everything, so by putting your art in black and white you are only focusing on value and it helps you see what’s getting lost and what you can push and pull more to make brighter or darker.

You can do this by either taking a picture of your drawing and editing it in your camera roll to remove the saturation or set it in one of the black and white filters or if you’re working digitally you can create a new layer above all the ones you already have, fill it with black/white/grey and set the layer to “color”. With your layer, you can turn it on and off whenever you want

2: Do multiple small thumbnails!

TLDR: It helps pushing yourself to brainstorm other options and it helps finding out if your composition works before you spend time on it.

-> Obviously not a complete necessity whatsoever and I don’t even do this with all my drawings especially if they’re just to have fun and de-stress but if you have an idea for a drawing and you really want it to get to its full potential, sitting down and forcing yourself to do more than one sketch can be really great! It doesn’t have to be good at all, just enough for you to know what it is supposed to be.

Often when I come up with an idea I’m excited about I already have a vision for how I want to do it but making myself brainstorm other ways I could draw the same idea and forcing myself to make them noticeably different has helped me come up with some of my proudest works! You are deliberately considering all options for how you can execute the same thing and realizing ways you could do it that you hadn’t initially thought of. In my experience by doing this I realize that the first idea I thought of isn’t always the best possible one or I merge it with another one and therefore end up making it better. (This can also be applied to other creative processes)

Another good thing about it though, is it helps focus on just the composition. Again, there’s a lot of things that go into making an art piece so isolating just the composition helps you figure out a plan and checking to see that it looks good before you spend hours and hours on it. It’s as if you were to build a house and spend days of work and loads of money on making it beautiful but it isn’t structurally sound and falls apart. You don’t want to spend so much of your time on all the details only to realize it just doesn’t feel right all because the composition itself is off.

3: Remember to have fun and don’t be discouraged!

-> I know it’s something nearly everyone says and at first I kind of always ignored it because it felt like it was something people just added to be nice but it is just as important as anything else. Art takes so much time, even just doing a single piece— let alone time to keep building up your skills over time. We don’t have unlimited time, and what you choose to spend your time on matters. Honing your craft and even wanting tips to help you improve means you care. The reason why is one of the most important things of all, don’t lose sight of that. Whether it’s to have fun, to decompress, to express yourself, to depict something you care about— whatever it may be: remember that and don’t beat yourself up or stress yourself out if you aren’t where you want to be or stressing yourself out to meet certain expectations. It really does impact both your art and your learning process whether you’re having a good time or not.

A few last quick tips:

- Don’t be afraid to start over or completely redo something that isn’t working!

- When drawing from reference, trust what you see and not what you know! Drawing what your eyes are telling you is there instead of what your brain thinks should be there will usually always give you better results.

- Step back from/Zoom out of a piece regularly! It also helps to squint your eyes.

- It’s great to make a folder of pieces/artists/pictures that inspire you!

- When studying other people’s art, be aware that they can also make mistakes so that you don’t repeat those.

- You don’t have to take every tip/rule by heart, as long as you understand why they’re there, you can also deliberately choose to go against it if it enhances what you want to do with your piece. Most rules artists teach can be broken, just make sure it’s a deliberate choice to not do those things and why you’re choosing to do that instead of just not knowing about it!

Hopefully these are helpful! I have way more but this is already long enough as is. I wish you the best! <3

#this is so much longer than I meant it to be #I am so sorry for anyone reading #I doubt anyone will read the entire thing #but hopefully this makes sense !!

[narryffdreaming]

A TOAST TO THE FUTURE — THREE

Summary: Aurora and Harry used to be friends, but life happened and they grew apart. Now, 6 years later, they meet again.

Rating: +18

WARNINGS: The story contains explicit language and mentions a past abusive relationship (mostly the consequences of psychological/emotional abuse). Some chapters also contain explicit sexual content.

PART THREE: 6,9k words Author’s note: ngl I thought this was "too short", and then I saw it's around 7k and realized that maybe this isn't short, but the other parts are just "too long", lol. Clearly I can't control myself. But anyway, this is part three and Aurora and Harry (finally) arrive in Italy. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do :)

PART ONE || PART TWO

As it turns out, both Aurora and Harry completely forgot about the one hour time change, so whilst they thought they'd arrive around eleven, by the time they landed in Naples it was actually a few minutes after 12. 

They realized, then, that since they would go together to Amalfi, sharing a taxi would be cheaper than taking the train — like they had both initially planned to do. Which is how Aurora ends up leaning against a white wall at arrivals, watching their bags while Harry wanders around and does some research for them. 

Outside, the day is bright and sunny, something she's been admiring non-stop through the huge glass wall in front of her. Rays of light keep the exposed skin in her arms and chest warm, so there's no need for her to wear Harry's jacket anymore — although a part of her wishes she still had a reason to, just to keep smelling his cologne. 

"Hey!" Harry calls, and Aurora turns her head to the side. 

He approaches her confidently, pulling his hair back and smiling while strutting through the airport as if he owns the place. It's kind of impossible not to follow every one of his movements, and she's pretty sure anyone who lays their eyes on him would think exactly the same. 

"It's done," he says, then raises both hands and gives her a double thumbs up. "Got us a taxi." 

Summer looks good on him. It makes his skin glow, it highlights his tattoos, and it makes his happiness seem… Well… Even happier. 

"Oh," she says, blinking and stepping away from the wall. "Great."

She clears her throat and glances to her phone, double-checking for the fiftieth time that her texts to Zack remain unanswered.

It's been over four hours since she texted him, and although she isn't surprised by his lack of interaction, she can't deny that it sucks to know he intentionally avoids replying to her texts — and that she probably won't hear from him until Sunday night, when he drops Noah off.

"No words from him yet?" Harry asks, now standing only a couple of steps across from her. 

Aurora shakes her head and locks the screen, then looks up and faces him again. 

"No… But hey," she says, offering him a sarcastic smile and fake enthusiasm as she adds, "if I'm lucky enough, maybe he'll pick up the phone tonight. Isn't that great?"

Harry pauses for a moment. 

And then he snorts. 

He flicks his gaze down and breathes in, filling his chest with air while taking one hand up to his face and rubbing his brow. 

"Jesus Christ," he murmurs and chuckles shakily, almost as if he can't believe what he just heard. 

Aurora feels herself softening in front of him, and her fingers itch to touch him somehow.

"I mean, it's okay," she says, tightening her phone inside her fingers and closing her other hand into a fist. "I knew this would happen when I decided to spend the weekend away."

Harry drops his hand to his side and shakes his head, then looks at her again. 

Bright, sunny, warm summer seemed to turn into dark, cold, empty winter around him. He's clearly tense, and the look in his eyes is heavier now. 

"For his sake," he says, voice sounding just as deep as she feels him in her bones. "I really hope he doesn't cross my way anytime soon."

It's unbelievable how quickly Aurora's mouth fills with water. As if she's salivating because of him. 

The way he soaks up her worries and eases her sadness is certainly endearing, but the way Harry physically reacts to this specific situation gets her nerves stirring. He seems to be ready to stand up for her. Ready to fight the battle for her. Ready to be her armor and shield her from all and any attacks that Zack throws at her. 

And as much as Aurora doesn't want things to get to that point, and as much as she isn't looking for that kind of attention from a man, the honest truth is that her insides respond too quickly to his behavior. Like she's craving for that aggressiveness. Or maybe like she's craving for someone to finally treat her the way she wishes to be treated. Someone who will throw a punch for her, and not at her. 

Even just metaphorically speaking. 

Aurora blinks, breaking away from the intensity of his stare as she hunches down and grabs her bag from the floor. She takes the opportunity to swallow all those new feelings down, hiding and locking them away, then stands upright again.  

"I appreciate that," she says, curling her lips into a smile. "But we're in Italy right now, so I think I'm ready to leave Zack behind. At least for two days."

Harry focuses on her for a moment, flickering his eyes all over her face. Studying her. Almost like he's making sure she is telling him the truth. 

She tilts her chin down and lifts her left eyebrow, and Harry meets her stare once again. 

"You're right," he says, and closes his eyes. "Gimme a minute."

Taking all the time of the world, Harry breathes in deeply through his nose. When his chest is full, he freezes for a moment, and then lets all the air slip out through his mouth. Loudly and heavily. 

It's a little bit dramatic. A little bit over the top. A little bit exaggerated. But Aurora can tell that he's intentionally forcing his movements. That he's getting on board with her and leaving things behind. And that he's making a big deal out of it because it's supposed to be a symbolic moment between them. Like drawing an imaginary line and setting a before and after for that trip. 

Especially when he rolls his shoulders, tilts his head side to side vehemently, and then drops all the weight off his body. 

"Ok," he says, opening his eyes while clasping his hands together and smiling at her. "I'm good!"

He leans down to grab his bag, too, and a foolish grin grows on Aurora's face. 

"As I was saying," he adds, placing the strap on his shoulder as he looks at her again, "I got us a taxi. It's supposed to be just an hour and a half drive, but they said it can take us at least two hours to get there."

Meaning they will get there around what… 2:30? 3?

Aurora pouts. 

"That sucks. Lucy had this whole thing planned in the morning."

"I know. But we'll make the best of it, anyway."

"Yeah…" 

She puts her phone inside the front pocket of her bag, then looks around the airport. 

They're still inside the crowded terminal, and it's safe to say that she has no idea where she's supposed to go next. She's been following Harry's steps since they landed — or maybe even since they took off — and she isn't actually interested in taking the lead right now. 

"So… Where should we go, then? Can we get this taxi now or…"

"Mhm… Yes… We sure can…" Harry nods. "But first… There's something I have to tell you."

Aurora's face falls, and she drops her shoulders.

"Oh God… What?"

"It's nothing bad… At least I don't think so, but…"

Harry scratches his jaw and shrugs, then smiles sheepishly at her.

(Which, to be honest, does nothing to reassure her.) 

She rearranges the bag on her shoulder with one hand, and encourages him to speak with the other, rolling her fingers in the air. 

"But…?"

"Well… I might've lied a bit to the guy from the taxi company."

"Okay…" She narrows her eyes. "Why? What did you say to him?"

"That we just… Y'know… Got married?"

Aurora drops her jaw.

"Married?!"

Harry chuckles.

"Mhmm..." 

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah…" 

His face is bright with amusement, and even though Aurora can't understand what's so funny behind that joke, she can't help but mimic his emotion.

"Harry!" She laughs. "Why would you even say that?!"

"Because he gave me this whole speech, ok? About how he couldn't get us a car 'till five, and how we should've booked one at least one day before and… Well. Y'know…"

He rolls his eyes, clearly annoyed at the lecture he got because of their poor planning skills, but the joy is still there. All over him. Radiating from his entire presence. Blooming into her.

"I see." Aurora nods, pursing her lips as she mulls over his words. "And us being married changes that because…"

He pulls his eyebrows together, as if the answer is the most obvious thing and he can't believe she's even asking that. "Because we eloped, duh. So of course we didn't have any time to plan or book anything."

"Oh my God." 

Aurora laughs. 

"So I guess this is our honeymoon now."

"You're insane."

"Hey, it worked, ok?" He raises the palms of his hands to her, then smirks, all proud of himself. "We didn't have a taxi, now we have one. So… You're welcome." 

She rolls her eyes and crosses her arms on her chest, but the smile never falters from her face. 

"Fine. Whatever. Anything else I should be aware of about this lie?"

Harry takes a moment to think about it, hiding his hands inside his pockets and then shrugging. 

"Nah… Don't think so." 

"Good."

"Only that you're madly in love with me and couldn't wait to be my wife." 

"Right."

"But that's pretty obvious."

"No, yeah. Of course." 

"You also can't wait to get our honeymoon started, by the way."

"Oh, really?"

"Yep. So you're kind of desperate to get to our hotel."

Aurora snorts. "Okay then."

"Apparently," he says, stepping closer and nudging her side with his elbow, "you just can't get your hands off me."

She cackles, then, and shoves him off with one hand. "You wish!" 

The small joke rolls easily and happily from her mouth. Mostly because she's determined to not ruin things all over again, but also because he brings that side out of her. 

And Harry laughs, too.

"Hey," he says, shrugging and tilting his chin up, "a man can only hope."

"You're ridiculous."

"I mean, it gets you laughing so… Yeah. I'll take it." 

She shakes her head, finding herself out of words. Even if she knows they're both just teasing around and that she doesn't need to worry about him misinterpreting her, there's only so much she can joke at once. 

Unlike Harry, of course, who apparently can roll lie after lie out of his mouth. 

"Ok, c'mon," he says, tilting his head and leading their way from arrivals to outside the airport. "They said there'll be a car waiting for us."

Aurora follows him in silence, and then she clears her throat. 

"So, you really told them we got married?"

He smiles, and nods. "Yes."

"And they really think we're going to a hotel?"

"Mhmm." He looks at her over his shoulder and shrugs. "I didn't want to get into the whole yacht thing… Seemed too much trouble to explain."

"Right." She smirks, and raises her eyebrows. "But creating a lie about our marriage was easy-peasy, right?" 

Harry purses his lips, clearly trying to hold himself back. 

"I mean… Yeah. Had the whole story on the tip of my tongue." 

They both look at each other for a moment, and then they both laugh. 

See? That's the good thing about Harry: he makes Aurora laugh. 

And he makes her laugh a lot.

Which isn't exactly news, because he always made her laugh, but still feels nice to remember. 

Back in the day, the way Harry and Niall lived their lives used to be one of the reasons why she liked to hang out with them so much — they didn't have too many worries in the world, and they only cared about having fun. So whilst most people around her were planning for their futures and preoccupied about having everything figured out, they made her laugh about the most silly and random things, offering her a break from the pressures and expectations of adult life.

Of course, their lifestyle wasn't one that she could keep up with all the time, and at certain moments their behavior used to resemble childishness, but they definitely were good and fun people to keep around. 

So much so that here's where they are right now. 

"C'mere, wifey," Harry says, stepping out to the sunny day and pulling her to his side by her shoulders. "Time to give our driver a show." 

She grimaces, then places her arm around his waist.

"Okay," she says, narrowing her eyes and adjusting her sight to the warm and natural brightness, "rule number one, you're not calling me wifey."

Harry squeezes her shoulder and laughs, throwing his head back and slowing their pace down. 

"Right. Ok." He nods. "What should I call you, then?"

"What about… Nothing?"

"Oh c'mon! You're my wife now. We need to play the part." He guides her smoothly down the sidewalk, dodging strangers and skipping through a long line of white cars. "Does honey sound better? Or what about apple of my eye, huh? Cupcake? Pumpkin?" 

She chuckles. "Harry—" 

"Buttercup?"

"Stop."

"Kitten?" 

"Ew, no—"

"Other half? Or what about…" He leans closer to her ear, then covers his voice with sweetness and cheesiness as he annoyingly murmurs, "My lovey-dovey?"

At that, Aurora cackles. 

"Oh God," she laughs, squirming and shoving him off. "Stop. No nicknames for you." 

"Ahhh, why?" He pulls her closer again, exuding pure joy and happiness as he speaks. "Nicknames are fun. I can be your honey bunny if you want me to."

"Absolutely not."

"Honey boo?"

"Nope."

"Lover boy, then."

"C'mon… You can't seriously—" 

"Man of your dreams?"

Aurora snorts, but before she can say anything, Harry speaks again.

"Prince charming? Jellybean?"

"Harry, c'mon—" 

"Hot stuff?" 

"Stop!" 

"Babylicious?"

And then she laughs again. Probably way louder than she should. Leaning into him and covering her face as she struggles to keep up with his feet. 

"Oh my God! You're just so annoying. I can't even—" 

"Mr. and Mrs. Styles?" a thick italian accent calls, and they both stop walking.

Aurora is still laughing, trying to catch her breath while she turns her head to the side. A gray-haired man dressed in a black suit steps away from a black car and walks forward, holding a polite smile and gentle expression as he approaches them with nothing but determination. 

Harry squeezes her shoulder and leans in, getting closer to her ear.

"If you ask me," he murmurs, and the tone of his voice is suddenly so low that it becomes almost painful, "that should be the one. Mrs. Styles."

A shiver runs down her body, and she swallows. 

"Scusi," the man says, thankfully sparing her from having to find any responses or reactions. "Signor e signora Styles?"

"Giusto!" Harry says, squeezing her shoulder and chuckling as he straightens his posture and pulls her closer to his side. "Signor e signora Styles. Sì."

"Piacere! Come stai?" The man stretches his arm, and Harry takes a step forward, shaking hands with him. "Sono Francesco, il tuo tassista."

"Francesco!" Harry smiles. "Buongiorno! Mi chiamo Harry e questa—" He squeezes her again, making a deal out of it as he kisses the top of her head. "È mia moglie, Aurora."

Aurora bites her lip, watching in silence as the man turns to her and stretches his arm once again. 

"Aurora. Piacere. Un nome bellissimo." 

"Uh…" 

Truth be told, she has absolutely no idea what's going on, or what they are talking about. So she chuckles nervously, but makes sure to shake his hand anyway. 

"I don't…" She says, tilting her chin up and glancing at Harry. "Sorry. I don't speak Italian." 

Harry's expression softens, and the playfulness in his face turns into pure tenderness. 

"Oh. No problem," the man says, the Italian accent still thick as he communicates in a different language. Aurora faces him again, and he adds, "Aurora, sì? Beautiful name." 

"Oh." She smiles, cheeks getting slightly warm. "Uhm… Gra… Grazie?"

She turns to Harry, again.

"That's thank you, right?"

Still staring at her, Harry smiles, then nods.

Aurora looks back at the man. 

"Grazie," she repeats.

"Non c'è di che! Andiamo, sì?"

Aurora tilts her chin up, looking at Harry and waiting for him to take over the conversation. 

He shakes his head, then, and turns his attention back to the man. "Sì. Andiamo. Sì."

The man chuckles. "Sposi novelli, eh?"

"Mhm." 

"Congratulazioni! Lo immaginavo. So riconoscere lo sguardo di un uomo innamorato." 

Harry chuckles and looks down, then scratches his jaw with his free hand and clears his throat. "Così ovvio, eh?"

Aurora doesn't know if it's possible, but she feels her own eyes twinkling as she tilts her chin up and lands her gaze on Harry one more time. 

He beams under the gorgeous sunshine, eyes greener than she's ever seen and cheeks flushed as he engages into a conversation with that man. Not only rolling Italian words out of his mouth, but also effortlessly putting them into sentences. 

And she's so hypnotized by the whole thing, that she can't even be bothered by the fact that she's not being included or doesn't understand a single thing. She'll gladly let him take the reins for the entire drive as long as she gets to entertain herself with that view.

"Auri?"

Harry squeezes her shoulder, and Aurora blinks. She darts her eyes away from his face, swallowing while he steps towards the car and slides his arm off her shoulders. 

"Shall we?" he asks, reaching for the strap on her shoulder. 

Aurora is too starstruck to fight him, so she nods and lets him grab her duffel bag, then follows him with her eyes as he and the gray-haired-suited-man place it in the trunk, along with his. 

And from then on, Harry plays his part like a true gentleman. 

Their driver starts by opening the backseat door for them, but then Harry offers his hand for her to hold and get in first, kissing her temple when she walks past him. She chuckles, but only because of the effort he's putting on just to cover his own lie. 

Once they're both inside, he doesn't complain about taking the middle seat when she chooses the window, and even makes sure she's comfortable and has her belt on. 

"Possiamo andare?" the gray-haired-suited-man asks.

Harry peeks at her. "Good to go?" 

"Mhmmm..." 

He nods, then puts his belt on while answering their driver. "Sì, grazie." 

The engine starts working, and they're officially on the move to the Amalfi Coast. 

"Can I?" Harry whispers to her, hovering her hand with one of his. 

"Oh…" Aurora looks at his inked forearm, reaching for her while he keeps his elbow tucked to his side. To be fair, after sobbing into his chest and sleeping on him like a koala, she truly doesn't think holding hands would be awkward at all right now. So she nods and turns her palm around, offering it to him. "Yeah, sure."

And when he places his palm on top of hers and intertwines their fingers, she can actually see herself benefiting from his lie — because Harry's warmth keeps her warmth, as well. Just like she needs to be. Just like she wants to be. 

"Credo che Amalfi ti piacerà moltissimo," the man says. "È perfetto per gli innamorati!"

Harry chuckles and scooches down, comfortably spreading his long legs open and pulling their hands to rest on his thigh. "Grazie. È la nostra prima volta in Italia."

"Per quanto starai qui?"

"Solo due giorni. Domenica torniamo a casa."

Aurora is lost in the conversation, but she's also… Physically uncomfortable. Her arm is tense as she stretches it to lay on his leg, and she doesn't want to spend two hours like that. So she shuffles closer, tucking her elbow under his own and fully linking their arms. 

"Bene, dovrai tornare un'altra volta per visitare più città," the man says.

Harry sits upright again, then slips his fingers off from her hand.

"Di sicuro," he says, lifting his arm and placing it across her shoulders. "Forse la prossima estate."

He takes his other hand to her palm, then, and intertwines their fingers once again. 

It's like they need a moment to get comfortable and find a position that suits both of them, but eventually they get there. With Aurora melting onto his side and him brushing patterns on the skin of her arm. 

The man nods and smiles, but says nothing, and silence finally settles in the car.

Until Aurora takes that as an opportunity to speak again. 

"So…" she starts, watching their touching hands. "Did I miss something important from your private conversation?"

He freezes next to her. Stiffening his muscles and stopping the movements of his hand on her arm. 

"Shit. I didn't even… Sorry." He spreads his hand open on her shoulder, and squeezes her gently. "We were just chit chatting about the city, that's all. But I'll keep in mind to translate now, yeah? Sorry." 

"It's fine." She smiles, appreciating the sentiment. 

To be honest, she doesn't really care. She wishes she had prepared herself a little bit better for a new country and a new language, that's for sure, but at least she's with Harry now. It will be a lesson learned for the next time — if there ever is one. 

"When did you learn how to speak Italian, anyway?" 

A smile grows on his face, and he tilts his head to lean it on top of hers. 

"I don't know." He shrugs slightly, resuming the brushing of his fingers on her arm. "My mum… I learned from her, that's all."

Aurora frowns. "Is she Italian?"

"Uh… No, she… I mean, my grandfather was."

"Ohhh… Didn't know that. So you've always spoken Italian?"

"I guess? I don't know. I just can find my way around it… That's all."

Aurora hums, and turns to look through the window, admiring the view of a country she's never been to before. 

And then she shrugs, making sure she sounds teasingly when she says, "Well… Now that you've brought up your mum, then I guess it'll be inappropriate to mention how incredibly hot and sexy you sound when you speak Italian, right?"

Harry chokes. 

He literally chokes. Straightening up and coughing while letting her hand go to smack his palm on his chest. 

Aurora sits upright as well, holding back a smile as she tries to catch a glimpse of his face and murmurs questions like "what's wrong?" and "are you okay?". 

The driver says something, too, and Harry shakes his head, raising his free hand waving a finger at him.

"I'm…" He coughs again, and brings his hand to his throat. "Sto bene—" (cough) "Grazie."

"Ugh, see?" Aurora murmurs, leaning against the backseat and grabbing his hand on her shoulder, making sure he doesn't pull his arm away. "Told you. Incredibly sexy."

Cough. Cough. Cough.

Cough.

"Shit."

Cough.

Cough.

Cough.

Aurora giggles.

Yep. That's actually pretty fun.

They park at what first seems a dead-end street, but in reality it continues turning right and going up the hill. 

Aurora gets out of the car slowly, feeling the hardness of the concrete under her feet as she straightens her back and tips her neck back. The sun is shining, and she rests the side of her hand on top of her eyes, blocking out the brightness and taking in the view — the hills, the rocks, the shades of green, the colorful houses and buildings. 

She places her free hand against her breastbone, and slowly releases the air inside of her lungs. She doesn't want that surreal feeling to end, so she stands frozen in the spot for another moment, or two. 

She's heard about people going through moments when all their concerns and worries fall away, but it has never been a first hand experience of hers. Not until that day, at least. 

The closest she can imagine to that feeling was the moment she finally physically met Noah, the exact second his tiny crying body was placed between her arms. That didn't last too long, though, with her body hurting and the exhaustion taking over every inch of her — both emotionally and physically.

Earlier that day, when she woke up  snuggled into Harry's arms, she also experienced something very similar to that — the same sense of calm and peace. Then again, it also didn't last too long, since she knew she was overstepping and had to pull herself from his embrace. 

(Besides, to be fair, she isn't sure if it's the same thing, or if she's just really confused right now.) 

Still, there she is right now, standing in an unknown city, where she doesn't know anyone and can't even speak the language, feeling as if all of her concerns and worries have fallen away. It's pretty similar to those other two occasions, only this time the feeling doesn't seem to be going anywhere. 

It feels as if it's settled to stay.

The trunk of the car slams shut, and Aurora turns on her feet. 

On the other side of the taxi, Harry chats excitedly with their driver. And behind them, opposite from the city, is the ocean. 

It's a little after three in the afternoon, and they are finally at Marina Coppola, the port of Amalfi. 

The gray-haired-suited-man looks at her and nods, saying things she can't even try to understand. The only words she somehow recognizes are "amore", and "buona giornata", but still, she isn't sure she really knows what they're supposed to mean. 

So Aurora simply smiles, watching as Harry does — once again — all the talking for both of them. 

"Grazie!" he says, clasping one hand on the man's shoulder and firmly shaking his hand. "Anche a te!"

The driver raises one hand at her, and she lifts one hand, too, waving and blinking slowly as he gets inside the car. 

Harry moves to the sidewalk with both duffel bags, and Aurora waits for the man to drive away before getting closer to him.

And then she reaches for her bag, but Harry dodges her and taps her hand away.

"Nuh-uh, Mrs. Styles."

Aurora's cheeks warm up, and she rolls her eyes. 

During their ride, their driver referred to her as Mrs. Styles more than a few times. He'd ask questions about the view, or chit chat about the weather and ask her opinion about it. And Harry, of course, would be the one to always translate the questions, making sure to not only include Mrs. Styles, but also emphasize it. 

"Well… Marriage is over, so…" 

She shrugs and smiles, but maybe her joke hits a little too close to her heart, because she doesn't feel like fighting him anymore. Instead, she allows her curious eyes to shift around and capture as many details as she can. 

It is nice to see the ocean again. Long, wide, far-reaching. She's also seen a restaurant at the marina's entrance, and although the street is filled with cars, there aren't many people walking. 

She remembers Lucy explaining in their group chat how they chose a weekend in May exactly because of that — because it wouldn't be so filled with tourists, but the weather would still be perfect for a swim. Aurora can't deny she'd been scared of rain ruining their plans, but the sun is, in fact, shining with no signs of any clouds around — which is probably also helpful to set that magic scenario around them. 

And as Aurora admires the postcard worthy sight, it dawns on her that Amalfi looks exactly as she has seen in pictures. Maybe the colors aren't as bright and intense as Instagram usually made it seem, but it is still colorful. Still captivating, still mesmerizing. 

Being there, she can actually smell the fresh water, the fish, and the sunscreen. She can also feel the prickle of sunburn on her arms, and the wind pulling at her dress and her hair. She can even actually hear the small waves, the boats motoring past on their way to water, and the laughter and excitement of people at the docks.

The atmosphere is real, and yet still impossible to describe. It fills her with life, with hopes, and with dreams. 

It is… Surreal. 

Magical. 

"This is unbelievable," she finally murmurs. Her voice is soft and delicate, though — as if she doesn't want to break the spell surrounding them. 

"I know," Harry says, mimicking her tone. "'S really beautiful, innit?"

She turns her head to look at him, and finds him watching the hills across from them, the same ones she was watching just minutes before. She can see him furrowing his brows under his sunglasses, his head moving from one side to the other. 

"Yeah," Aurora breathes out. 

Harry is beautiful. The daylight makes his skin look tanner, and the wind messes with his hair, too —  although he doesn't seem to mind. And the facial hair glows on his face, somehow screaming at her how grownup he is. Somehow turning into a reminder of how good he took care of her, of how good he made her feel. 

Shit. 

She swallows, and faces the port again.

Can she still blame these thoughts on her lack of sleep?

Maybe she's being delusional. Maybe she is still so confused that she doesn't know what is reality or dreaming anymore. Or maybe she's spent so much time without interacting with any men that she doesn't know what's friendly or not anymore. Maybe she's mixing things up. Maybe Harry has just been protective of her. Like Theo and Niall are. 

Shit.

The wind pulls her hair to her face, and she takes her arms to put her locks into an improvised knot.

Hundreds of various-sized boats are lined up along the docks, and they are all so different from each other that she realizes she's never stopped to think about their different names. 

Are they boats? Are they all yachts? Is there even a difference? And what would that difference be?

"So…" she says, pausing to clear out her throat and rub the tip of her nose. "A ferry is one of those that you can get into with your car, right?"

Harry glances over his shoulder, watching her silently for a moment. 

She can feel his eyes on her face, but she resists the temptation of looking at him. 

And then he nods and turns around, standing next to her and facing the ocean as well. "Yeah… Have you ever been in one?"

Aurora shakes her head. 

"No… I remember from the movie 'How to lose a guy in ten days'. Have you seen it?"

He turns his head and stares at her in silence once again, until a loud laugh erupts from him.

She turns her head, too, and tilts her chin up, looking at him. 

"What?" she asks, lifting her left eyebrow. 

"Sorry… It's just…" 

He shakes his head and scratches his jaw, waiting until calming down before explaining himself. 

"Oh God… You made me watch that movie soooo many times," he says, voice filled with amusement while he tilts his neck back and looks at the sky. 

Aurora keeps her eyes on his shoulder, focusing on the flamingos in his shirt.  

"I did?" She frowns. "I don't—When?"

"Movie nights at your place, remember?" He pulls his hair back, smiling at her, and then at the horizon. "We used to do them once a week for a month or two. Usually everyone fell asleep and we were the only ones awake. Somehow, you'd end up always making tea and putting that DVD on." 

He shrugs, as if recalling that memory it's just the most common thing in the world. 

To Aurora, though, it isn't. 

"Wow…" She blinks, staring at the port again. "I can't… I honestly can't believe how many things you remember and I don't."

"Oh, it's okay, we were—"

"No, it's not. It makes me feel like shit."

"Auri—"

"You know I really like you, right?" she asks, focusing on the way the waves crash against one specific boat. "It's not you… I mean, I don't remember so many things, it's like I blocked stuff from my memory, but it's not because they didn't mean anything to me… I promise. I've always enjoyed our friendship, I just—"

Harry places his hand on her shoulder, and Aurora twists her neck to look at him.

"C'mon…" His sunglasses are on the top of his head now, pulling his hair back, and he stares firmly into her eyes. "I don't expect you to remember the same things I do, ok? We're fine. Everything's good. You don't need to be so tense about everything you do or say. Not around me, at least. Ok?" 

"Okay…" She nods once, then twice. And then she shakes her head. "Yeah, okay. Yeah."

"Okay," he repeats, a smile forming on his lips and his hand slipping away from her shoulder. 

Aurora can still feel his fingertips burning on her skin, though, and it dawns on her that, after spending the entire drive holding his hand and relaxing under his arm, now it's weird to not be able to just… Touch him again. 

"And just so you know," he adds. "I've been on a ferry. A couple of times, actually."

Aurora gasps, then grins at him, gladly accepting the change of subject. 

She asks when, and where, and why, and Harry chuckles. He answers while putting his sunglasses back on, then keeps the conversation going as he leads the way to the docks and to their friends. 

And they walk together, of course. All the time. 

There's a white arch they have to get through, and Harry raises his arm, gesturing for her to go first. She smiles shyly, looking at him over her shoulder as she steps onto the aluminum gangway. 

She walks across what looks like a green carpet before getting to the actual dock — a narrow wooden path stretched out into the water and leading to all different yachts — and then they are walking side by side again.

Always side by side.

Even when they have to dodge people on the way, some simply standing and chatting, some prepping their boats for sailing, some just returning to land. 

Then it gets to a point where all Aurora can see are bare masts reaching into the sky, birds flying, and ropes around their feet. 

They turn left on the dock, and sweat trickles over the back of her neck, just like her inner thighs sting from brushing against each other. She sighs and scratches the tip of her nose, listening to Harry as he chats about how he stopped eating meat a while ago, but was willing to eat fish again during the weekend.

Aurora nods at him, and then the growl of an engine starting up makes her jolt and gasp. She widens her eyes and takes her hand to her chest, and Harry chuckles next to her. 

She rolls her eyes and relaxes, smiling as she pokes his side with her elbow. "Shut up…"

He nods, pursing his lips and stopping himself from laughing even more. 

"Whatever you say, Mrs. Styles." 

"Ughhh. I won't be hearing the end of this anytime soon, will I?"

"See? That's why I married you. You know me too well."

She snorts, and then Harry slows down walking. 

"Ok, all jokes aside now. Aurora Fletcher, are you ready to have some fun?" 

Aurora smiles. 

To be fair, she's been having fun for a while now, but her body still sparkles with excitement at his words. So she moves her head quickly in agreement, just to make sure Harry can see it. "Yes, please."

"Good, because if my eyes aren't messing with me," he says, raising his arm to point out ahead of them, "I think those up there are our friends…"

Aurora looks up, tilting her chin and squinting her eyes when the sun strikes right into her line of view. Like she did before, she places the side of her hand against her eyebrows, blocking the brightness and blinking to focus where Harry seems to be pointing at.

When she recognizes the silhouette of some of their friends, she realizes they aren't just on a yacht — they are standing at the top floor of a massive, luxurious yacht. 

Aurora's mouth falls open, her eyes seem to bulge out of her face, and her body freezes. 

"What the hell?" she murmurs. 

Or, in other words, what the hell were Lucy and Theo thinking?! 

"Now I see what Niall meant about it blowing my mind," Harry says next to her. "Fuck yeah, this is gonna be great! C'mon." 

His joyful and energetic voice is enough to wake Aurora up from the half-conscious state she's fallen into, but he still puts his hand in between her shoulder blades and pushes her slightly, encouraging her to move along with him. 

"They're waiting for us, yeah? It's gonna be fun, but if it gets too much let me know and we'll just take a break from everyone."

Aurora blinks.

"I don't… I don't know if I'll be able to," she blurts out, not moving her feet from the spot. 

Her eyes are still wide open, but she darts them up to stare at Harry. 

He pulls his sunglasses back to the top of his head and takes two steps closer, standing right in front of her and letting their bags fall to his feet. His figure is tall enough to block the movements ahead from her view, allowing Aurora to focus on him, and only him. 

"I mean—" She shakes her head, organizing her thoughts. "I don't know if I'll be brave enough to ask for help."

Harry nods, and a wave of understanding engulfs Aurora's body. She drops her shoulders, and her eyebrows, then lets a long breath out of her nose.

"Maybe we could come up with a sign then, yeah?" He puts his hands right above her elbows, then gently moves them up and down. Rubbing her upper arms and soothing her down. 

"A sign?"

"Mhm. Just, y'know, something to let each other know we could use some company? For both of us… Maybe I'll need it, too."

Aurora chuckles and rubs her forehead, knowing damn well he won't need it. 

Still, she nods. 

"Maybe, okay… Yeah."

"Good. Any suggestions?"

"Hmmm… I don't know. Pinching the tip of the nose?" 

"No, nuh-uh." Harry shakes his head. "You already do that a lot."

Aurora frowns. "No I don't."

"Trust me, you do." Harry tightens his fingers around her arms, then loosens them up. "Scratching our jaws? I mean, your jaw… You scratch yours, I scratch mine…" 

Aurora purses her lips, and his own mouth twitches in amusement. 

"You know what I mean…"

"Yeah…" Her eyes wander around his face for a moment, and she sighs. "But no, because that's something you already do a lot."

Harry turns the corner of his mouth into a smirk, and Aurora squeezes her hands into fists to stop herself from poking the dimple on his cheek. 

"I do?"

She shrugs. "Mhm." 

"If you say so…" 

He stays put inside her eyes, capturing her inside a mesmerizing green spell and forcing her to just wait there. Powerless and helpless. With no other option but to stare back at him.

Letting time go by — letting time run by. 

As if they weren't already late. 

As if they weren't the last ones to arrive.

As if they didn't have a massive, overpriced yacht waiting for them. 

"What about our ears, then?" he offers, his voice huskier and somehow slower. 

Aurora swallows. And her stomach flutters just as much as her chest tightens. 

"Y'know," he adds, then takes a step closer. "You tug yours, I tug mine…"

He moves one hand, letting go of her arm as he drifts it to her face. 

He touches her cheek first, breezily, then slides to her ear, brushing her skin in the process and making it tingle. 

Aurora holds her breath, and as she stares at him, she feels her earlobe being touched by two of his fingers. 

She closes her eyes for a moment, and when she opens them again, she drifts her sight to his mouth. Unconsciously and unintentionally. 

Harry slides his tongue between his lips, getting them wet before he turns them into a smirk.

"Like this," he murmurs, then gives her ear a little tug. 

Shit.

Aurora looks back at him.

Everything he's doing right now feels soft, intentional, and… Extremely and weirdly right. 

There's a feeling deep down her stomach that she's unable to name. Maybe a flush, maybe a tingle, or maybe a throb. Or maybe all of them.

She can't describe it, she can't understand it. 

She can't name it.

But it's there, and it's doing things to her. Things she hasn't felt in a very long time.

"Hm? What do you say?" he asks, so softly it almost makes her whine.

Her heart picks up, and she doesn't think she'll be strong enough to move away from his touch. Not then, not ever again. 

"Okay," she whispers. "Yes."

His smirk turns into a smile, and he leans in, pressing his lips firmly against her forehead. 

It only lasts a second, and then Harry pulls away from her and hunches down to pick up their bags. 

W—What? 

Why…

Aurora blinks at him. 

Why did he stop?

Why did he move away? 

"It's settled, then," Harry says. "C'mon, let's get this party started."

Hiii :)

I thought about adding some more scenes here, but tbh I feel like these two should be together and get all the attention, so this is where part 3 officially ends. Next part it's a long one and includes meeting all of their friends, so I hope you've enjoyed their last moments by themselves hehe 🤭

Thanks for reading!

Dani

(if you've made it here, pls talk to me and say Francesco lol)

#harry styles fanfic #harry styles fic #harry styles au #harry styles writing #harry styles fanfiction

[tomssexdoll]

hi can i request where the reader is a famous singer and when she gets interviewed they ask her who her crush is and it’s Tom and she performs a song for him (SOAKED BY SHY SMITH 😉😉) and he sees it 😣😣 it can end with them meeting and it ends with smut or fluff you choose 🤍🤍

yess

"So Y/N, we're curious to know, do you have any crushes" the interviewer asked.

I chuckled nervously, adjusting my dress. "Yeah, I do infact have a crush, his name is Tom Kaulitz, the guitarist for Tokio Hotel" I smiled, feeling my cheeks burn up a bit.

"Ohhh, is there anything you'd like to say to him Y/N?" "I'd actually like to perform a song for him, if you don't mind" I winked, the interviewer nodded and announced the ad break.

The crew came on stage, setting up everything for me.

As the ad break came and went the camera panned to me, the music started to play.

"Cause baby you got me so, so soaked, the heat is getting to me. I want you all over me, baby you got me so" I sang, staring directly into the camera incase he was watching.

"Our bodies moving for sure, you get me so hot im soaked" I continued to sing. As the song finished and the music faded everyone started to clap, cheers roaring from the crowd.

TOMS POV:

I got tagged multiple times on twitter, I clicked on the videos and it was an interview, an artist I had never heard of, y/n l/n. I watched as she sang the song for me, my jaw dropping and eyes widening, she had a beautiful voice but the lyrics were so dirty.

I smirked and knew I had to meet with her.

Y/NS pov:

My phone pinged, a notification from twitter?

I opened it and saw THE Tom kaulitz had texted me, I gasped and instantly opened the message, it read.

"Hey gorgeous, I saw your little song on that interview, thanks to people tagging me in it. I was wondering if you wanted to meet up and maybe get to know each other"

I instantly started typing, my fingers tapping at the keyboard on my phone quickly.

"Yes that sounds great! Let's meet at that cafe on main street tomorrow at 4pm"

We agreed to everything and I squealed, I knew it was a good idea to do the song. His and my fans are crazy so of course they would be clipping it and tagging him.

Whether it was negative or positive I was glad I finally got his attention.

The day came for our meet up and I wore the sexiest dress I owned, I did my makeup and hair. I pushed my bra up a little, my cleavage very visable in my dress.

"Fuck..I look good" I blew a kiss at myself in the mirror and got into my car, driving to the place we agreed on. I was super nervous, yes I liked him a lot but I never expected this, my heart raced as I approached the cafe.

I saw him sitting there, waiting for me. His dreads flowing softly in the wind, wearing a casual baggy outfit. "Shit..did i dress up too much" I looked down at my dress and shrugged.

I got out of the car, acting casual and making sure he could see me. My hair flowing in the wind as I walked across the road, hips swaying.

As I got to the other side of the street I saw his jaw hang low, I obviously had some sort of effect on him. He stood up and and smiled brightly, "heyy, it's so nice to finally meet you" he pulled me into a hug, wrapping his arms around my waist, hands dangerously close to my ass.

I returned the hug and giggled, "likewise" I sat down and ordered a simple sandwhich and coffee. "Soo, y/n, you look really beautiful today, is it all for me?" he smirked, teasing me.

I blushed a little "y-yeah, I guess so" I stammered on my words, super nervous in his presence. He nodded, a satified grin on his face. He sat back and continued to talk with me, we had so much chemistry, able to talk for hours.

A few hours passed and I checked my watch, eyes widening at the time. We met up at 10am and it was now 5pm. The waiter came out and told us the cafe was now closed and we had to make our way out so they could clean, we payed and thanked them, wondering what we should do now.

"Do you wanna come back to my place and talk more?" He suggested, wrapping his arm around my waist and holding me close. I bit my lip and nodded, walking to each others cars and getting in. I followed him, his car a bit faster then mine.

As we arrived I stared in awe, a beautiful, huge house with amazing decor on the outside. He came to my car and opened the door for me, taking my hand and walking me inside.

"Your home is beautiful Tom" I smiled, taking my shoes off and placing my purse on his kitchen counter. He chuckled, "thanks liebe, let's go to my room" he smirked, I raised an eyebrow and followed him.

I sat down on his bed, he sat next to me and caressed my cheek softly "you are so beautiful.." he whispered, kissing my neck softly. I grinned and climbed into his lap and pressed my lips into his, kissing him passionately.

His hand slid down to my ass, grabbing it tightly. I yelped softly at the sudden contact, granting tom access to put his tongue in my mouth. He runned his hands up and down my curves, tracing them with his fingers, sending shivers down my spine.

"Holy fuck.." he muttered against my lips, moving his hand up to my breast, cupping it gently. His hands were huge and covered my whole boob. I softly pushed him down and softly grinded on his erection.

He groaned and grabbed my ass cheeks, pushing me down onto his erection more, I moaned as his clothed cock hit my clit, my legs trembling slightly.

"Get on your hands and knees baby.." he growled lowly, I obliged and got off him, getting onto my hands and knees on the bed, waiting for him.

He rolled over and I felt the bed dip behind me, his hands coming to my hips and pulling me closer. He pressed himself against me, "you ready?" he grunted, "yes..please fuck me.." I winced.

He nodded and pulled my dress up to my waist, taking my panties off and dipping his fingers into my soaking pussy. "Fuck.." he pulled them out and licked his fingers clean, "taste so good" he chuckled and took his pants off, his erection springing out.

I bit my lip and waited nervously for him, feeling his tip at my entrance, slowly push in. "Ohh fuck!" I moaned, feeling him stretch me out slowly.

"So good.." he groaned, bottoming himself out in me. He retracted himself out of me and slammed back into me. Creating a harsh pace.

"Holy fuck!" I whimpered, feeling his tip ramming into my g spot brutally, leaving no mercy. "Take it schatz, take it all" he growled lowly, his hands tangling in my hair and pulling it back so that our bodies were connected.

He held my stomach, holding me up to his chest and pounded into me, my boobs bouncing up and down like crazy from how fast he was going. I felt his lips connect with my neck, sucking roughly and leaving marks everywhere.

I felt my stomach twist in a knot, signalling my impending orgasm. My pussy clenched around Toms cock tightly, like a snake wrapping itself around someones leg.

With one last brutal thrust I came, my orgasm crashing down and cum spilling all over his cock. He groaned and kept thrusting, shortly coming to his own orgasm too.

Shooting his cum into me, painting my insides white. "Oh fuckk..." he panted out, collapsing onto the bed, i layed beside him and felt his arms wrap tightly around me, pulling me closer.

E/N: kinda rushed but i hope u like it <3

Tags: @itsmealaiah @tomscumdump @tomscumdoll @tomkaulitzloverr @estxkios @syylss @ballhair @ge-billsgf @charliesgoodboy

#tom kaulitz #tokiohotel #bill kaulitz #georg listing #gustav schäfer #smut #tom kaulitz x reader #tom kaulitz x y/n #tom kaulitz x you #tom kaulitz smut #tom kaulitz fanfic #tom kaulitz tokio hotel #i love tommy #i love tom #ilovetomkaulitzhessobaeiwanthimtofuckmerightnow #ilovetomkaulitzmybfomg #smut drabble #tokio hotel smut #short smut #rough smut #smutty smut smut

[twst-rose-prisms]

Twst boys and their respective Vocaloid songs

Part 2 of this post!

Characters: All NRC students Warning: Some of these songs contain angsty/dark themes or imply self-harm, however it's nothing too much as that's the nature of Vocaloid songs in general and I recommend you checking them out if you guys can!

Part 1 | Part 2

🕌 Scarabia 🕌

Kalim: Tondemo-Wonderz

This song is full of fun, excitement and upbeat, colorful beats that make you want to smile and dance along, just like the ball of sunshine Kalim he is! The song talks about embracing the unknown and excitement the world offers to us while also having fun, encouraging us to have faith in the wondrous possibilities, while also embracing the failure and mistakes with laughter and positivity. I’d say it’s a perfect song for Kalim, from the vibe to the lyrics!

“Even in this sort of era, We still believe in "wonders," no, no, no? Know! The adult's sharp, money-making memories Make us worry too much! I'm gonna go cross-eyed!” "Why?!" "Do it like this!!" I love everything! That's fine, isn’t it? In this plot to make everyone laugh I can call them rival monsters, right?! We live in a wild, awesome world.” “I reckon it's fine to have troubles you can't do a thing about! I make a pose like I'm gonna save everyone. How about this smile, it's not gonna crumble at all! Even if I fall 100 times, I'm like a phoenix. I won't get upset! Wan wan, too quick, three four! Everybody, showtime!” “Come on professor! This exam is so tough! Agh! Alright, done? Is it final? If I don't get 0 points, it's OK! Let's rain a shower of arrows on those true and false questions! Right and wrong answers are important memories." "There are days when I fail too. You still deny "wonders", no, no, no? Know! Before I'm taken to pieces, listen, wait! This slanted society is too on edge. Charge in, leap in, one more time! Are you ready?!”

-----------------------------------

Jamil: Ghost City Tokyo

Like a ghost who is almost invisible to other’s eyes, Jamil used to do the same too, he always makes sure everything he does is at an average level so nobody will notice him. That’s why I picked this song for him, also because of the lyrics - he’s used to losing, to not be able to shine and stand out for the sake of others, and it’s not something he dreamt of at all. Also I think the city here can be interpreted as Scarabia too, because he still wants to be here despite everything that happened in Book 4.

“The lights of the brilliant shining city Shine down on me in stark contrast They mix with the neon colours changing and escaping from the spaces between those buildings" "I trade my time and this world And sink into the night” “It’s fine, someday it will all be fine How many days I’ve thought so, that have piled up on each other But even today, the me who fades into the Tokyo scenery all alone Seems like a ghost” “Even as I grow used to losing These important feelings that I haven't lost - When I held them close to myself, my tears fell suddenly Because I think I still want to Keep living in this city”

-----------------------------------

👑 Pomefiore 👑

Vil: Cinema

This song is pretty self-explanatory with the lyrics, it’s like someone views their life as a movie, their story is like an unchanged script, yet they’re being satisfied with everything - they want to be the leading star, the protagonist of the movie. Being someone who always has to play the villain role, I picked this song for Vil because it just fits him so much with his backstory and his goal as a whole!

“A delusion of dawn Invaluable escapades and A misunderstood hero play-pretend Traffic's already jammed up now- Oh well, nothing I can do about that anyway” “No, it can't be this, not this. This is a bad fit for me I'm not suited for it- Should I quit it now, or— But that's not right, right! I wonder, when will I get to be The leading star of this show?” “We're not here yet, yet. This can't be the end, so If you're not suited for the role Then just rewrite the script! Look, for the most part, I'm sure it'll always just be me The leading star will only be me!” “The future I wanted to change has come. Whatever you like, however you like it, This is it. I made it here, all the way from the bottom. Just like a movie, this is my story.”

-----------------------------------

Epel: Telecaster B-boy

A song talking about the struggle of growing up, trying to find one’s place in this vast world, the singer desires to be loved and appreciated but always gets misunderstood and underappreciated and also frustrated with society,  just like Epel himself. He hates being the stereotype, cliche thing. If you know his story and goal then this song is very fitting for him! Also the funky, youthful but somewhat fast beat and lyrics fit him very well too!

“The more I grow up DeDeDe The less I fit in, a vacant temple. The girl the life philosopher spoke to Turns into a bird … With just lip service PaPaPa I'll tie up my raggedy shoes … The boy whom a believer in digitization cursed Turns into wind …” “No matter how you look at it DeDeDe It's a stereo bias, sadistic The girl who sang like she was stung by a bee Turns into a flower... Even if you cover your ears PaPaPa Those guys' voices become loud The boy who got these words stabbed in his chest Turns back…” “In this world where I can't Even breathe for a bit Declaring a goodbye to reality Won't you just forgive us? We, the weak ones Let's meet up again somewhere”

-----------------------------------

Rook: Liar Dance

Rook is a bit hard to find, but in my opinion this is the best song for him. It talks about a couple who both hide and lie to each other. But it also means that the singer’s POV is them knowing they’re a liar, a criminal just like other people. Rook himself is not an exception, he also lies and hides many things away even to his friends or someone like Vil. Also I think the lyrics fit him really well, with constant mention of love and lies many times throughout.

''Stolen? Just whatever do you mean?'' Feigning ignorance today as well Having made a vow, to you and you alone Declaring this loveless love of mine in front of you" "Stolen? Just whatever do you mean?" Committing myself to this performance, set lines and all Those memories we've desperately created and clung to, they blend together and feelings between us intensify” “Dance away liar This love has swelled up like a balloon let's turn it into a lie with the prick of a needle On the count of "I-love-you" “Dance away, liar It's too late to apologize We're already partners in this crime called "love" Who cares if there's no going back?”

-----------------------------------

💀 Ignihyde 💀

Idia: All I Need are Things I Like

While there could be many other songs that fit Idia, I decided to pick this one because of the lyrics and overall meaning. The song talks about indulging solely into one’s interests and favorite thing everyday, almost every time without paying much attention to reality much at all. Even though the singer sounds happy and satisfied, they also sound lonely, deprived of energy and strength and also longing for actual companionship instead of coping up to the things that they like. It sounds like Idia himself after what happened to him and also his backstory!

"I don’t like weekdays, I like the weekend I don’t like work, I like going back to sleep It’s impossible to live on slacking like this My consciousness recedes" "I don’t like vegetables, I like hamburgers I don’t like barley tea, I like juice Don’t be sweet on me, but I like sweet tasting things My lifetime’s first page" "Only looking at things I like gradually my eyesight gets worse Only being filled with things I like gradually my mind gets duller" "I don’t like living things, I like machines I don’t like the real world, I like the virtual Your tastes were always biased deteriorating and ceasing to think" "Surrounded by the things I like I’ve become unforgiving to the things I don’t like Living only with the things I like I'm resented by someone, somewhere"

-----------------------------------

Ortho: Near

This song is gentle, yet emotional and bittersweet, its meaning also fits Ortho and Idia + their relationship a lot if you take it into their backstory context too. At first, Ortho is just a robot that only acts according to how he was programmed but gradually, he starts acting outside his intended programming and learns his own sentience and emotions - just like the robot girl as the song progresses. Overall, I think this fits him a lot!

“Hey, Near. If I don't make fun of someone And if I won't be able to forgive myself How do you feel about This horrible person?" "Hey, Near. Watching other's strides Stepping out without a purpose How do you feel about this Dull person? Hey Near” “Hey, Near. I think living every day with a smile Is something natural How do you feel about This arrogant person?" "Things that do not take any form and cannot be predicted Will interfere with the calculation process" Even so" "Ah, I'll still continue to believe And ask you who doesn't have a heart Because your hand was So much warmer than mine”

-----------------------------------

🐉 Diasomnia 🐉

Malleus: Hare wo Matsu

I feel like this song fits Malleus the most with how the lyrics constantly talk about one’s loneliness and about past’s memories. For Malleus, his biggest fear perhaps is his dearest, most cherished people leave his life, like Lilia - his guardian that raises him up ever since he’s still a little lizard or maybe even MC - his ever first friend that treats him so dearly despite his status or his fearful magic power unlike others who is afraid of him. Even the beat is also beautiful but sad, full of longing for your loved one when they leave - just like Malleus himself.

"I'm not getting tired of this morning, One that I've waited for. Very faintly, I'm laughing while appearing to be sorrowful, And wishing to completely forget you." "Because there's no end to this curse Of sleeplessness and the painful past. I'm singing a song in the morning glow, If only I could completely forget, it would end." "There's just one thing I can't yield, And still, without knowing the reason, I live, even now..." "Since I don't have a dream I want to protect, These are days with no answer, But that isn't kindness, isn't it?" "Look, since absolutely nothing hurts, It's alright," I say. Someday, when you'll be gone, ah~ Will I be living alone?”

-----------------------------------

Lilia: Kanade Tomosu Sora 

I feel like this song fits Lilia the most in terms of the vibe, the lyrics that matched well with his backstory. This song, while sad, full of longing and reminiscent from the past yet it’s like a glimmer of hope somewhere in the deep, dark sea of sad memories. Lilia was the same too despite how we see him acting outwardly. He gives love to others, but he also needs love and hope. He went through events that could crush him easily and yet, he still stayed strong - for a whole 200+ years, for the sake of others. (I recommend checking out the 25ji, Night Code de version too!)

“Every time I trace back my memories, I feel as if I’m going to be crushed, yet Since I have no place to take refuge,  I just keep questioning myself over and over. Ah…” “There are too many things in my way,  It’s as if there are only things I can’t see Is it alright if I try touching it a little? I want to say it. Even though it might surely be impossible, I want to somehow. Hey, more; hey, more; I want to see more” “So I can turn the images I’ve found of your world still unknown to me Into song" "Blaming myself all this time,  I simply live and breathe but only just barely I’ve always shut it away in a cage I’m not asking for a plain, simple story. I simply wish to hear your voice” “It still hurts. Words keep tightening the cord round my neck, but... These eyes of mine I closed so gently as well, still hurt a little, but… I want to say it. Even though now, I still don’t know when it’ll be but someday for sure. Hey, more; hey, more; I want to see more”

-----------------------------------

Silver: Ice Drop

I think this song fits Silver a lot mostly because of the lyrics, and the deep sea could symbolize the dreams that he dives into in Book 7. Although it’s upbeat, the lyrics are full of longing and reminiscing of the past and also his father, but eventually move on and “grow up” from it.  Not to mention, you could even take it as a SilverMC song if you think about that aspect! But even if it's not in a romantic sense, it's still a song talking about how much the past affects us and how we long for our loved one even if it's just a memory, that's why to me this song is really for Silver!

“Even the memories of the past are merely a thousand-year tale I take a deep breath as I fall into the deep sea” “Uh- that voice of yours drenches my whole heart Tangled up and captivated by each other, we sing our unchanging love once more You, not letting go of your hands become a rule of mine It's a heart that will melt away the rusted last page That one and only magic will turn this world around” “I’ll be waiting. Inside my dream, I reach out my hand” “Uh- On this planet, I fell in love without sleeping I longed for you and hesitated what to do, but from now on, I'll grow up You, If it’s with you, I’ll dive in without hesitation”

-----------------------------------

Sebek: Kashika

Sebek was the hardest to find for me in the entire list mainly because while he has his own character, he doesn’t have too much depth but I tried my best and I think this song fits him the most! This song is powerful, full of willpower and hope towards tomorrow despite the hard, tough times. The song encourages us to keep living, even in the most uncertain moments, you need to cherish each moment of your life as well your living heartbeat, which represents the tenacity and perseverance of life. I feel like the energy as well the meaning of the song fits Sebek a lot overall for his character - with the desire to rise, stand up and protect he always have.

“When my quivering voice breathed life into a song, It was then I realized, That was the first time my breath could be seen. They say that in the end, the value of music is subjective– Well then, I'll sing as I please, I'll show you the message I want to convey. I won't despair over Or be afraid of my mistakes. They say to "live the right way," But I want to fight against that. My whole life has consisted of "it's my fault." Even if I'm treated like a fool, I'll be hurt and I'll hurt others, I'll live, causing both kindness and injury. The present I see is everything to me, So I don't want to cling onto ideals of the past or the future. Beat, beat, o heart of mine! It might be unsteady, but even so, this is my pulse.”

-----------------------------------

#twisted wonderland #twst #disney twst #twst wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #vocaloid #vocaloid music #kalim al asim #jamil viper #vil schoenheit #epel felmier #rook hunt #idia shroud #ortho shroud #malleus draconia #lilia vanrouge #twst silver #silver twisted wonderland #sebek zigvolt

[thornilee013]

Push and Pull

[Instead of a WW for today, you all get (unfortunately only part of) a new project I started because I made myself emotional thinking about it. Thankfully it will be quite short.]

[Summary: Jean is an art major specializing in clay/pottery and goes through some introspection while working on things.]

[Enjoy!]

Jean frowned at the slab of clay sitting in front of him. He was certain that it was mocking him in its readiness to be shaped into something–anything–other than a cone, daring him to try and mold it into something else. Normally Jean handled taunting with a rough check or an even more scathing remark, but clay could not be insulted. It was literally part of the dirt. If he wasn't careful with how much water he applied to the cone, it could very easily become mud underneath his fingers. What kind of insult would be capable of hurting a clay heart? Jean knew that if he was struggling to think of an insult, that there likely were none that would be applicable.

Still, there was a peacefulness in the blank slate that the clay provided. A blank slate that he could always bring back, regardless of how many times the side of the pot caved or the clay slipped off the wheel or if he started the pot off center by accident. No matter what, he could always peel it off the wheel and start again. There was excitement in seeing what he’d be able to create out of the earth, and of seeing just how much the clay would reveal to him of its final purpose along the way. 

Jean Moreau always began his pottery projects with the same approach: by building solid walls that he could later adjust through pushing and pulling. When he’d first started making pottery he’d worried that his crooked fingers would hinder the process. That somehow, his hands would be too broken to properly shape the clay. As a result, his first pot had ended up with walls that were too thick and were uneven on top. And yet, when his professor presented the final, fired result, Jean could hardly believe that his lumpy, misshapen pot had been able to withstand its true test. 

He’d turned it over and over, searching for clues that it was a fake. He’d been convinced that there was no way that it was his project; after all, the professor had to have recreated it so that it would boost his confidence. Instead, as he’d reacquainted his hands with the clay and examined its curves and flaws, he realized that it fit perfectly in his misshapen hands. It was like holding a piece of himself─a single piece of the puzzle of his selfhood that had, until then, been lost. Then, he found the ghost of one of his fingerprints in the fired clay and all his doubts had been put to rest. 

It was still his favorite piece he’d created. It stood as proof to him that he wasn’t too broken to create something new, and on days when he doubted that fact, he would pick up the pot and turn it over once more in his hands and line his thumb up with the fingerprint.

He pulled the clay out in a bold curve, careful to stretch it in a way that would make it expand gradually, only to pinch it back in at a steeper slope. 

He’d improved with practice, of course. Soon he’d created bowls and cups and small vases. But for each project that he turned in, his professor would always say the same thing: he needed to work on making the walls thinner. But he’d refused to believe that he could handle anything thinner. He was convinced that his hands were meant for two things: hurting others, and being hurt. Already he’d proven that he could create, but convincing himself that he wouldn’t destroy something was another hurdle he had to overcome. 

It hadn’t been until his professor came to stand in front of the station where he’d been working that day and challenged him to create a bowl with a wall thinner than his pinkie. 

“But what if it folds on itself? What if it tears?” he’d asked. 

“Then you can scrape the clay off the wheel, wedge it, and start over. There’s no limit to it. You can always go back to the beginning. The clay doesn’t mind, and neither do I. As long as you lock up behind yourself when you leave the studio,” his professor had said with a shrug and a smirk.

Sure enough, he’d made the bowl too thin. It ended up tearing and folding in on itself in a pattern that almost resembled a ribbon. Jean had swallowed the defeat and followed his professor’s instructions, and the next time he’d pulled up the walls, he was almost able to maintain a consistent thickness in the walls throughout the entire bowl. 

Jean finished the vase by flaring out the top of the project, careful not to let the clay at the top of the piece get so thin that it wouldn’t be able to support its own weight. While other students in the art major program would typically get rid of the slip and any signs of the work being thrown on a wheel, Jean was careful to preserve the imperfections in the surface of his new vase. He was even more nervous to slide the wire under his project, especially given how much he liked how the vase had turned out. 

To keep his anxieties at bay, he shut his eyes, took a deep breath, and reminded himself that it was all temporary anyway. Nothing in the world is permanent, and this vase is no exception. But I can make it again, if I want to. It wouldn’t be the same, but I wouldn’t want it to be an exact replica anyway. Once he made peace with the fact that his work was only partially over, he slipped the wire through the clay as close to the base as possible, holding his breath the entire time. 

It came off the wheel cleanly, with only a thin layer left behind on the wheel that he scraped off and tossed back into the bin with the rest of the clay they used in class. Once his vase was set aside to air out for the next stage of its creation process, Jean plucked one of his projects that was nearer to completion from the shelf─a plain, relatively small tea cup─and brought it to one of the tables meant for detail work and for glazing. 

He was done with the glazing in less than thirty minutes, having picked a unique glaze that was designed to react to the firing process by changing hues and developing a melted appearance. 

Jean placed his completed project into the open kiln, whispering a quick prayer under his breath before shutting the lid. Part of him expected that each and every project of his that his professor put into the kiln wouldn’t survive the heat. And if that happened, it would take out the other projects around him as well. 

He’d told Betsy several times that he had the same fear about himself─that he would snap someday, and that it would mean that those around him would get hurt in the process.

[TO BE CONTINUED]

MASTERPOST

#lee's writing shenanigans #aftg #all for the game #aftg jean #jean moreau #THANK YOU to Ash for letting me use her as a soundboard and also for encouraging meeeee #I did steal your comment about the kiln process bc man it was too good to pass up #tfc #the foxhole court

[yourlastbraincell-kiwi]

A/N: This has been sitting in my drafts and I fixed it up and decided to post it as a little blurb. Enjoy!

No mention of skin color, but the reader is the daughter of Sam Wilson!

Pairing: Peter Parker x samwilsondaughter!fem!reader

“I don’t think it’s a good idea.” Sam said, walking into the Avengers tower, holding the door open for everyone behind him.

“When do you ever think something is a good idea?” Bucky replied.

“All the time, all the time, but this one right here? Is not it.” Said Sam, as he walked further away from the group, and sat atop of a table.

“Well, this a great opportunity for the both of them.” Steve said.

“For what exactly?”

“Maybe they’ll bond over something and get close with one another.” Natasha replied, sitting next to Sam on the table.

“Yeah, and that’s what scares the hell outta me.” He responded and stood up from the table and began to pace.

Sam has always put an overprotective bubble, over (Y/N). Her being both his only daughter and child, he just wants the best for her. And (Y/N) sees that, but he doesn’t know that she’s losing the opportunity to be a teen.

She wants to go out with friends? It was a lovely day, until she caught him watching her and her friends through some bushes, with goggles and full on camouflage.

Yeah, now she only sees those friends during school hours.

Sleepover with the besties? Yeah, just ready for constant check ups and phone calls. He wants to know what you’re doing 24/7.

And suddenly those sleepover invitations get lost in the mail.

Don’t even get him started on dating. Sam will not allow it, until he’s ran an entire background check on the guy.

Now none of the guys at her school talk with her, everyone sees how protective he is of her. It’s sweet, but also completely unnecessary.

The door swung open as Peter ran inside trying to shove something into his backpack. “You wanted to see me, Mr. Wilson?” Peter asked, feeling nervous and on the verge of sweating.

“Oh, don’t be silly. Call me, ‘sir.’” Sam said, as Natasha game him a look, but he shrugged it off.

“I called you here, because I wanted you to meet someone. She should be here any moment.”

Not too long later, she walked inside the building and Sam immediately stood next to her. “Peter meet-”

“(Y/N)? Hey! How are you?” Peter says, as (Y/N) got closer to him and hugged him tight.

“Hey! I’ve been good!” They both smiled at each other, as they let go of one another, then they both looked away from each other, feeling embarrassed and flustered.

“Sooo.. you too already know each other?” Steve asked, and Peter was quick to answer.

“Yeah, I mean we,” Sam stared at him giving him a slight death glare. “We don’t actually, I don’t know her. Who are you again?” Peter said stumbling over his words, scratching the back of his head.

I rolled my eyes and stepped forward, “Peter and I met in school, he’s a good friend.” I smile at him, as Peter gave me a nervous smile.

“Good, that’s great! How about you two catch up and reminisce about, whatever things teens do these days. We have to have a quick talk with your dad, (Y/N).” Nat told me, I nodded and took Peter somewhere else in the tower.

Once they were out of earshot of everyone else, Peter let (Y/N) know just how nervous and frightened he was.

“He’s gonna kill me isn’t he? Like I know I offended him in some way so like, I might not wake up tomorrow, and-”

“Peter! Relax.. he won’t do anything to you. I promise.” I replied and Peter calmed down almost instantly, and took some deep breaths. “Hopefully..” I murmur to myself, underneath my breath.

“What??” Peter asked, clearly hearing what was said. I laughed running off and he began to chase me around.

#x reader #wattpad #fluff #fluffed up #sam wilson #peter parker x black!reader #peter parker x reader #spiderman #spiderman homecoming #tom holland #black!writer #black!reader #all inclusive #overprotective!sam Wilson

[donascozylivingroom]

FEELING IS THE SECRET to manifesting WEIGHT LOSS

I've been losing weight eating whatever i want and not doing any kind of exercise.

And this time I've actually given up on robotic affirming because the pounds would not shed as fast as I wanted. I started visualizing, feeling it and believing what i see is me and it is REAL. Especially before sleeping like Neville Goddard says, but also throughout the day. It does help though to close my eyes and really feel it for 20 mins or so before i fall asleep.

The more you feel skinny, the more u become it, and it doesnt take ⭐️ving. It takes just feeling skinny, so ask yourself more like how can i make myself feel this more than 50% of the day at least? what do i have to imagine? how should i be moving my body or saying to myself in my mind about myself?

it takes discipline of course, but do u want it?

the key is persistance and not checking the 3d.

some people using subliminals lost 1-2 pounds per day, so not seeing a huge drop the first day u do this shouldn t be worrying.

as for food, i make sure after every meal i imagine and feel myself skinnier. for example although my belly might be over my jeans i visualize my flat belly underneath and keep on that thought/visualization as long as i can, or go to other parts of my body and visualize them skinny for 10-20 min after i eat.

wherever i am, i pretend i'm skinny and even though i don t feel it all the time, i choose to ignore it when i don't.

sometimes people around me would notice i'm slimmer but they don t say anything, and instead of asking them "have i lost weight?" i just tell myself in my mind: he/she noticed i lost weight, woohoo! after a few days they start telling me. because if i were to ask, my fears would most likely manifest and i wouldn t like their answer, so better keep it to myself so i don t regret it.

also, i don t have a mirror and i don t use a scale so i take pictures sometimes and compare them and i'm like wow there s actually a difference.

but then it kinda messes with my head a bit so i try to only take pics when i feel extra skinny.

i also imagine skinny girls eating and getting skinnier as best as i can. and tell myself eating makes me lose.

i still use robotic affirmations for other things, but not this, since i remembered as a child someone noticed i lost weight after feeling myself skinnier before sleep to "try it out" see if it works and i was super happy for that but i didn t know it takes persistance, otherwise i would be much further in my manifestations by now. lol.

#law of assumption #loa #persistence #robotic affirming #affirmations #weight loss #i wanna lose weight #i wanna be tiny #neville goddard #affirmdaily #manifesting #loassumption #feeling is the secret #thinspø

[mylittlesecrethaven]

I'm Making Fluff Headcannons Cause I'm Sad: Savanaclaw

I've gotta remember how I set this up.

Otherwise it'll turn out like shit.

Oh well. Let's just see how it goes.

Leona:

I hope you like sleeping a lot

Cause this man will pull you into so many naps

Ruggie's gonna have to start making excuses for you in class

Also, this mans in loaded, so if you need anything, ask him

He'll just hand you his card

(with a sidenote of something he wants you to buy for him)

Not a pda guy

It's not that he's not ok with it

It's just that he doesn't feel the need to do it

Yes, he cuddles

But he's not into lovey dovey stuff

So you're gonna have to do it first

Teasing teasing teasing

I really hope you're ok with teasing

Cause unlike Ace, he won't lay off

And if it hurts your feelings, he probably won't know what else to do besides take a nap with you

But trust me, if he thinks you're asleep, he's whispering the nicest, most loving shit

And if you're awake when he does it, you'll just know he loves you, even when he can't say that stuff to your face

Ruggie:

Get ready to learn some life skills, my friend

Ruggie will teach you everything he knows

Haggling, thieving, speaking in different languages

You are gonna be well learned in the ways of the streets

Will always look out for you

He's a family guy

And a pack animal

So he's constantly checking on you

And making sure you're eating

And that you have enough money

And if you're feeling down, he'll ask Leona for some money and bring you your favorite food

And if you're favorite food is something Ruggie makes, you best bet he'll make it for you

Some days he'll be attached to you at the hip

And others you probably won't see him at all

But when he comes back after disappearing, he always brings you something (usually food)

And he'll be right by your side until he disappears again for whatever reason

But you never miss him

You just feel happy whenever he's with you

Jack:

You're about to get some muscle

Mans is gonna get you a workout routine

Y'all are gonna go on runs

(But if you get tired, he'll carry you)

You're gonna sweat together

(Outside and inside the bedroom hehehe (sorry, couldn't help myself with that one))

And you're gonna get a cactus

And your cactus and his cactus are gonna be friends

And they're gonna have matching names (probably named after some Spelldrive players who are friends)

He will keep you motivated

No procrastination with this guy

You not feeling up for schoolwork?

He'll hype you up!

You don't feel like working out?

Get ready to be motivated!

(unless you're really not feeling it, in which case he's ok with break days every now and then)

Also, nobody's gonna mess with you

Trust me

Jack's got your back

And even if you just need help, he'll be there

I'm gonna be honest, Ruggie's was kinda hard.

But anyway, we'll see when I get the next part done.

Hope somebody enjoyed this.

#twst #twisted wonderland #disney twst #disney twisted wonderland #savanaclaw #savanaclaw x reader #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #disney twst x reader #disney twisted wonderland x reader

[vintagenahbi]

HOME pt.2

Jin x Reader

Summary: You and Jin discover that you are expecting your first child, but are faced with challenges that neither of you could imagine.

Warnings: topics related to pregnancy that could be considered controversial.

The last thing Jin said kept replaying in my mind over and over again. He didn’t want to lose me I knew that for a fact, but I also knew I was stubborn. My mind was made up about what to do. I pressed my hands against my stomach and caressed it trying to calm my nerves with the rhythm of my hand movement. I wanted to know how our baby would look like, what their personalities would be like, how Jin would be as a dad. All these thoughts ran through my mind as if it was about to be taken away.

I waited for Jin to come back into the room to talk more or perhaps help him see my side better. But one a.m became three a.m and I knew he wasn’t coming back for the night. I picked up my phone and saw that I had a missed text from Jin. I was scared to see what he might have sent me. If it was a plea to choose us or the baby. Maybe it was an explanation on why he was not here. I held my breath as I opened the message.

JIN:

I’m sorry I wasn’t able to come back to check on you. I want you to be okay. I’ll see you in the morning or sooner. I love you.

In perfect timing my door cracked and appeared Jin. I dropped my phone to the other side of the bed hearing its thud from the emptiness. It was nearly four in the morning and he was standing here in his pajamas to be with me. He gently closed the door and glanced over at my suitcase in the corner. I got up from the bed and wrapped my arms around his neck. He hugged me tightly. There was so much I wanted to say but couldn’t.

“I want you to be okay Y/N. I don’t want to lose you.” I could sense he wanted to go on, he had words circling around in his mind. I don’t blame him for being hesitant or scared. I was scared. This was more than a baby, it was also my life on the line.

“You won’t lose me Jin. I’m going to be okay.” I grabbed his hand and placed it on my stomach. “We are going to be okay.” I said nearly pleading with him to see the bright side of our situation. I wanted him to know I didn’t plan on leaving him through death. Although my decision was set in stone, I wanted him by my side.

He paced around and anxiously ran his hand through his hair, which I was noticing was starting to happen more frequently when he was stressed. He pressed his lips tightly together unsure of how to react next. Jin tilted his head up at the ceiling clearing his throat in the process. I knew nothing I could say would convince him I was making the right decision and I didn’t want to see him cry again. It was too painful knowing I was causing him to cry.

“We have to come to a decision.” Jin said. I looked at him disappointedly.

“I already made my decision Jin.” I took a pause trying to collect my thoughts and redirect the conversation. “Maybe it’s best if I leave. A lot has happened these past two days and I think it’s best if I go.” Jin was surprised. Honestly, I felt this was the best choice I could make for us. It would give him space and myself some as well. Maybe this way we could think on things with a clear mind.

“If you aren’t here I can’t help you if something happens. After all the doctor said you were high risk. I can’t have something happen and I’m not there.”

“I know but I’ll manage.” I grabbed my suitcase that sat in the corner, packed and ready to go. Originally the plan was to be like a thief in the night and wait for Jin to come back home after the shoot. I knew it was selfish. I knew it could cause more problems, but what else was I to do. I was caught between the man I love and the baby we made.

“If you go, you text me if anything happens.” I nodded my head agreeing to his request. He flashed a soft smile. “I love you Y/N.” I kissed Jin and managed to get one of the PAs to take me back home.

Two weeks had passed. Jin was finally coming back and my bump had grown nearly everyday. I would stare in the mirror for hours looking at it, amazed that something was growing inside of me. I was so excited to show Jin in person how I looked now.

I could hear Jin’s bags drop in the living room, his feet began hitting the wood as he ran into our bedroom. He grabbed my waist and pulled me in for a kiss. He flashed his bright smile staring lovingly into my eyes. Being with him made me feel at home. I was safe and nothing bad could happen.

We spent hours catching up. I told him all about the baby. How my body was changing constantly. He kept looking at my stomach as I spoke, watching it move around subtly with every word. He smiled more. We decided to order dinner and play some video games as a way to unwind. No serious talks, us enjoying each others company.

I got up from the couch when I suddenly fell to the floor. A sharp pain ran across my stomach. I was only 12 weeks with our baby the size of a lime. I yelped out in pain. Jin rushed to my side. I could tell his worst fear coming true by the look on his face. The pain stopped. I gathered myself and pretended like it wasn’t that serious. In all honesty, I was terrified about what just happened.

Jin helped me up from the floor. He walked me over to the kitchen table so I could take a seat. He kneeled down in front of me rubbing my thigh as if it was a reflex. I could still see the concern written all over his face. I rubbed my hand against his cheek.

“Jin I’m okay, don’t worry.” I didn’t even believe myself. I felt like this was the first warning sign of what was to come. Maybe Jin sensed it too. I felt like I could read his mind and he had the same fear that I did. We would have to face a major challenge by starting a family, one that either of us were confident in the outcome.

Jin grabbed my hand squeezing it lightly. “Let’s get married before the baby comes.”

“Okay.” I whispered. We sat in silence. An exciting moment turned into complete silence.

#bts fanfic #bts imagines #bts reactions #bts reader #bts x reader #bts #jin x reader #jin imagine #bts jin #jin #bts soekjin #soekjin x reader #kim soekjin

[depressedhouseplant]

🔞 Just Fucking Write - Day 93 🔞

Prompt: Juyeon loses his self esteem. Hyunjin builds him back up again.

Tags: Car sex, unprotected sex (it’s me. Duh?), belly bulge

A/N: This is based on a comment Juyeon made to a fan that he feels like a 4/10 which is flat out unacceptable so I’m channeling all my feelings into Hyunjin building him back up as is right & proper.

“Why do you love me?” Juyeon asked when he got in the car with Hyunjin.

“What?” Hyunjin looked at him.

“Why do you love me?” Juyeon repeated.

“You’re smart, funny, talented, gorgeous, kind, did I mention gorgeous yet?” Hyunjin replied. “Why?”

“I dunno what it is, but I’m feeling down on myself. Like people just say I’m attractive because they’re supposed to not because they actually believe it,” Juyeon looked down at his lap.

“I’m not sure who ‘people’ are, but I’m your boyfriend and I think you’re perfect and that should count for a lot,” Hyunjin turned off the car.

“Why’d you do that?” Juyeon asked, still looking down at his lap.

“Because I want to show you how perfect you are,” Hyunjin replied, climbing over the console and into Juyeon’s lap. Juyeon’s hands found their way to Hyunjin’s hips as the pretty blonde leaned down to kiss him.

“I love you more than I could ever put into words,” Hyunjin told him.

“I’m just me,” Juyeon gave a half hearted shrug.

“And you, Lee Juyeon, are perfect. Anyone who makes you believe otherwise is a liar and an asshole,” Hyunjin rutted his hips against Juyeon’s lap as he kissed him harder. Juyeon finally reciprocated, tightening his grip on Hyunjin’s hips. “And I want to ride you until I can’t stand up.”

“What? You want to bottom?” Juyeon stared at him.

“I figured I should try it at least once. See what the entire industry was so hot to try,” Hyunjin grinned.

“But you’ve never…and I’m…” Juyeon began.

“Firstly, just because I’ve never bottomed with you doesn’t mean I’ve never bottomed. Secondly, yes you’re impressively big, but I’ve also been prepping myself to take you,” Hyunjin replied, reaching between them to unbutton Juyeon’s jeans. He was still mostly soft. “Well this won’t do.”

“But how?” Juyeon asked.

“You’ve never heard of butt plugs?” Hyunjin asked as he began stroking Juyeon over his underwear.

“Of course I have,” Juyeon huffed.

“Stop thinking about how I’ll take this impressive cock of yours and relax. Let me show you that you’re a 10, yeah?” Hyunjin told him.

“Okay,” Juyeon agreed.

“Close your eyes,” Hyunjin instructed. Juyeon did as he was told. “Now focus on what you feel, my hands, my mouth, my ass. Don’t think.”

“Okay,” he agreed again. Hyunjin shimmied out of his sweatpants and sat his bare ass on Juyeon’s thighs. Juyeon opened his mouth to say something and Hyunjin shushed him.

“I remember the first time you came over with that flimsy excuse of checking up on me. I knew what you really wanted. What you didn’t know is that I wanted you just as much. Of course, I had no idea how to approach you. How do you say I want you so fucking bad my cock is raw from jacking off to fantasies about you and not come across desperate? You know how I feel about looking desperate,” Hyunjin pressed his lips against Juyeon’s ear. He pulled Juyeon’s jeans and underwear down. Juyeon’s cock was starting to show interest.

“Now I don’t care so much. I don’t care about looking desperate or needy when I’ve got you all to myself. I’d be lying if I said I haven’t enjoyed what I’ve had to do to prep myself to take you. Though most of it is knowing that you’ll be just as helpless with me on your cock. You’ve thought about that, right? What it would be like to have me on that massive dick of yours? Nod if I’m right,” Juyeon nodded as Hyunjin flicked the buttons of his shirt open. “I thought so.”

Hyunjin finished opening Juyeon’s shirt and ran his hands up Juyeon’s chest. The other man arched up into Hyunjin’s touch. He flicked Juyeon’s nipples with his thumbs. Juyeon whined.

“Don’t get to play with these much,” Hyunjin flicked them again.

“Jinnie,” Juyeon whined.

“So good for me Juyeonnie. I think it’s time I finally sat on that fat cock,” Hyunjin kissed his cheek and removed a plug from his ass. He continued teasing one of Juyeon’s nipples as he speared himself on the biggest cock he’d ever taken in his life. “Open your eyes.”

Juyeon opened his eyes and blinked a few times. Hyunjin leaned over and turned on the overhead light.

“Look down,” he said. Juyeon looked down and behind Hyunjin’s prominent erection was a bulge in Hyunjin’s lower belly. Hyunjin took Juyeon’s hand and pressed down so he could feel it. “That’s your cock that’s about to rearrange my insides. Only you have that.”

“Only me,” Juyeon repeated, still marveling at the feeling of his cock in Hyunjin’s body. “Not as tight as I thought.”

“I hope that’s not disappointing,” Hyunjin replied.

“No, no, I just wasn’t sure,” Juyeon shook his head.

“Wasn’t sure I was ready? Darling, we’ve been together for the better part of 3 years, I think I can estimate the size of my boyfriend’s dick pretty well,” Hyunjin kissed him.

“I love you,” Juyeon kissed him back.

“I love you more, babe. Now let me show you how I ride a cock,” Hyunjin grinned. He put Juyeon’s hands around his waist and began riding him hard. Juyeon watched as Hyunjin’s belly moved with his cock inside of him. It wasn’t the first time he’d seen it happen with a partner, but there was something about it being Hyunjin with his lithe frame and the sounds he was making as he moved that got Juyeon hotter than he’d ever been before.

“I dunno how long…” Juyeon gasped.

“I know. I was counting on it,” Hyunjin nipped at his earlobe. “And once you’re done I’m gonna plug myself back up full of your come.”

“Oh god,” Juyeon choked on his own spit.

“Thought you’d like that,” Hyunjin leaned back and rested his weight on the dashboard. Juyeon got a full view of Hyunjin’s cock slapping against his abdomen as he pushed them both closer to release. The sight made Juyeon’s balls tighten the first time.

“Don’t fight it,” Hyunjin told him.

“Okay,” Juyeon panted, his hands in a vice grip around Hyunjin’s waist. It would probably bruise, but Hyunjin wouldn’t care. Hyunjin suddenly tightened around him and Juyeon released into him. He felt like he’d been punched in the gut as his cock pumped inside Hyunjin. The blonde leaned forward and kissed him hard as he began to come all over Juyeon’s stomach. When they both finished, Hyunjin placed a gentle kiss on Juyeon’s forehead and rested against his chest, damn getting come all over his shirt.

“Thank you,” Juyeon kissed his hair.

“Of course. And the next time someone makes you feel bad about yourself, let me know so I can rip their throat out,” Hyunjin replied.

“Sure,” Juyeon huffed a laugh.

#just fucking write 2k24 #minors dni #the boyz fanfic #stray kids fanfic #crossover ships #Juyeon x Hyunjin #stray kids smut #the boyz smut

[inuhalfdemon]

No One Can Know... (3/?)

Word Count: 1,186 Words

Rating: Explicit (Violence/Gore)

Chapter 3

"I can be your heavenly or I can be your hell

I can say a prayer for you or I can cast a spell

I push you to the darkness just to pull you to the light

'Cause I can take away your breath or I can bring you back to life..."

- In This Moment

Directly following the events of Lucifer’s visit: Alastor smoothly shifted from the shadows, materializing himself into the midst of his radio station that was attached to the hotel. He glared at Lucifer, the fallen angel languidly stretched out fully and comfortably in his chair beside the radio control panel; a large shit-eating grin across his face. 

"What are you doing here?" Alastor asked him, lowly. 

"Charlie invited me." Lucifer's grin actually widened. 

"I'm well aware." Alastor bit back. "I mean what are you doing here? Now? Don't you have a meeting to arrange?" 

"It's already done." Lucifer shrugged. "Lilith has it all taken care of. I'm here to check-in; suck your dick if you’d like. You seem a little...tense." 

"I decline. Now get out." 

"You're sure?" Lucifer asked him, laughing. "It wouldn't take long and I assure you, I'm quite good." 

Alastor bristled. 

Normally, he wouldn't let the man get so under his skin... However, these past couple of days, Alastor had been feeling the beginnings of an impending rut. He was refusing to admit that little bit of honesty to himself, though, let alone Lucifer. There was still too much to do yet; the extermination was merely a couple months away....he didn't have time for such nonsense. 

"You seem like you could really use it, too." Lucifer was digging in. "Aren't you supposed to be protecting this place? I thought the radio demon avoided all that kind of riff-raff." 

"I took care of it." 

"Hm, yes. I saw. A very intimidating display. You know, had you been better at addressing Charlie's needs here, I never would have gotten to see it." 

"I haven't heard any complaints from…my Queen." Alastor told him.

"Nor would you..." Lucifer sighed; getting up from the chair now and walking over to where Alastor stood. "She seems rather fond of her new...pet." 

Alastor fought to maintain his composure at this; the remark effectively agitating an already struck nerve. Lucifer smirked at this; enjoying the effect his little planned comment had made. He hadn’t missed the little discussion Alastor had had with the bartender; just one of the unfortunate souls Alastor still had bound by his chain.

Lucifer stopped; standing very close to Alastor now. 

"Last chance. We could whip this out right now and you can go enjoy yourself a nice cigarette." Lucifer leaned in, his eyes darting to Alastor's crotch then back again; his eyebrows bouncing in a overly dramatic and suggestive way. 

"Must you act like that?" Alastor hissed. 

"Like what?" 

"A child?" Alastor glared. 

"How should I act, to you, Alastor? Is it so important to you that I display myself in frightening and intimidating ways so that others may respect and fear me every moment they are within my presence? I am well aware of the power that I command; I don't have to be concerned with what others believe or may think...that would possibly suggest a significant level of...insecurity."

Alastor growled; his eyes glowing a soft red. 

"Well, that turned you on." Lucifer quipped. 

"You know," Alastor's eyes flared redder. "I almost want to let you..." Alastor reached out, clawed fingers curled - he set his hand beneath the King's chin, leaning in.

Alastor's shadow slipped from him; sliding along a darkened corner and rising slowly behind Lucifer.

"If only to watch you choke on my cock; jammed deep into your throat as I utterly wreck that pretty face of yours."

Alastor's shadow pressed in closer, clawed hands reaching...

"Oh, so you think I'm pretty?" Lucifer blurted, rather cockily.

Alastor's eyes narrowed. "You'd be beautiful...gasping and choking beneath me...wondering at just how a fallen angel ever could manage to sink so low..." 

"Uh, huh." Lucifer had had enough.

Alastor's shadow darted for him but before it could touch the angel it was struck sharply by the end of a brightly glowing and golden chain. Hissing and spitting, Alastor's shadow fled. Alastor barely had time to flinch before Lucifer turned the chain on him; sending it to tighten around his neck and hoisting him sharply upwards so that he was kicking and strangling in its grip. Moving; the chain drug him backwards, slamming him painfully into a wall and holding him fast.

“Your pillow talk really needs some work.” Lucifer told him, darkly as he approached him.  

Alastor still struggling; choked against the chain. Reaching out, Lucifer clenched Alastor’s side with sharpened talons; claws sinking into his hip and holding him firmly in place against the wall. Gasping; all the remaining air left Alastor’s lungs and his struggles drastically lessened.

“Now.” Lucifer flicked a sharpened claw; tracing it over Alastor’s fine pin-striped suit – sharply cutting into it and the soft cavity of Alastor’s abdomen – just below the sternum. “Let’s discuss this rather poor attitude of yours.”

Pulling the claw down; Lucifer gutted the radio demon like a fish. Alastor gave a garbled cry; writhing against the chain and against the wall – his blood and guts spilling into Lucifer’s outstretched hands.

Twisting the writhing intestines between his fingers; Lucifer stared up at the look of pure look of manic horror that was Alastor’s face. The sinner was still smiling but his ears where laid flat to his head in complete and desperate submission; his eyes wide and panicked; his body flaying less and less…

“I don’t care what you think of me, Alastor.” Lucifer said, softly. “You walk a rather treacherous path, my friend. Never let your detestation – no matter how great - cloud your perceptions of someone… You may think little of me but that does not change the amount of power I have at my command.” He gripped the moving intestines tightly in his hands and Alastor shrieked; foaming at the mouth.

“Lilith requires your services, you bastard.” Lucifer continued. “I cannot take that from her; but I can put you in your place.”

Alastor’s body had stopped it’s flaying - going limp now; his consciousness quickly fading.

Sighing; Lucifer released him. The intestines pulled from his hands; curling themselves back into Alastor’s cavity – his abdomen and suit zipping themselves neatly closed as if Lucifer had merely pulled down on a zipper. The golden chain came loose; dropping Alastor unceremoniously onto the ground.    

Alastor fell forward; his body violently shaking as he heaved in great gulps of air and tried to process what the fuck had just happened.

Rolling his eyes; Lucifer turned and walked away – throwing up a swirling golden portal with a wave of the hand.

“Per our deal, I leave you to it. Call on me when or if you require it.” Lucifer told him.

Alastor shakily rose himself from the ground so that he was knelt before Lucifer on his knees – still clutching for air and ears pulled back; staring crazily at the King. Lucifer’s eyes shifted to the seam of his pants. Raising an eyebrow just before he stepped away and into the portal he said; “You’ll have to take care of that one yourself.” – referring to the very distinct tent that jutted from the layer of fabric between Alastor’s legs – leaving the radio demon alone: feeling rather whipped and humiliated.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel fandom #alastor #fanfiction #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin hotel fanfiction #my fanfic #lucif #alastor and lucifer #alastor x lucifer #hazbin lucifer #lucifer x alastor #lucifer morningstar #hazbin hotel lucifer #lucifer magne #radio #radioapple #alastor the radio demon #appleradio #duckiedeer

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

shoutout to space/alien movies for continuously fucking me up in the best ways

#finally got around to watching arrival #what! a! damn! good! movie!!! #was sniffling all through the ending... #im mad at myself for never watching it before #for depriving myself of an alien movie where the aliens... are Genuinely Good? #and it Ends Well? #with STELLAR time travel & concepts and oasudasfuaoa #thats my favorite stuff.... the movie checked All of my sci-fi boxes #👀aliens... great time travel... fascinating cinnamon topography... an even more fascinating plot... positive ending #like the sheer hope and euphoria pouring from the end. damn #i love movies that say 'We Are Good. And There Are Always Good People Striving To Make Things Better.' #'And Maybe We Are Not Alone In The Universe. And They're Good Too. They're Striving For Better Things Too.' #THATS CATNIP TO ME BABEY #HOPE AND LOVE AND HUMANITY BABEYYYY #rewatched interstellar for the first time since like middle school too The Other Day #quite simply! i sobbed! #sci-fi space/alien movies just hit different... #movies with expertly done time travel hit Different!!! and incredibly hard! #time travel as an act of love and hope... HOWLING AND WAILING #absolutely unprompted #on a similar vein i just finished my sw:rebels rewatch and season four #DEFINITELY fits the bill for this topic #not quite to the extent of interstellar & arrival but still... #man and im rewatching eeaao As I Type #and its already fucking me up! this movie is so good!! i know im going to feel better about existing after watching!! #MOVIES!!! MOVIES ARE SO GOOD!! I LOVE THEM!!

[rintoki]

genuinely wondering why some players play genshin if not for fun… like it’s literally a game it’s not that serious….

#for context #sometimes i coop the azdaha domain for fun #and like most times people play like … normally ? i guess you can say #but sometimes you run into those AR 60 long time players or those like east asian whales #u know what i mean #and like they’re obviously cooping this domain for fun like do u rlly think they need help ☠️ #so sometimes they bring low level characters ir even lvl 1 characters #bc why the fuck not u play every character in the game enough times they get boring so u play a character u never play #even if it’s like lvl 1 #which is besides the point #bc this persons level c6 diluc has better stats than like 70% of the genshin playerbase #like i went to check this person diluc #has 2k atk 60/160~% cr/cdmg #like also even if the diluc has ASS dmg #it doesn’t matter bc there’s literally 3 other people in a coop domain #you telling me you’re not confident enough in your builds to solo this giant lizard #me personally i know any of my dps’s solo this domain any day #unless i’m playing healer or support #idc if the whole fucking team dies bc i know i can do it myself #this girl rlly was like ‘level 1 diluc’ #and just holding us hostage in character select #like BRUH JUST STFU AND PLAY DUDE #so i reply why does it matter this is for fun #and she goes #do you think this is fun? #THIS IS A GAME ???????? #WHY ARE YOU PLAYING IF NOT FOR FUN 😭😭😭 #even if we fail the challenge we can just play again??? #i fucking swear genshin players (derogatory) #delete later

[crescentfool]

with the year coming to a close, i hope that anyone who's reflecting about how the year went remembers to be kind and fair to themselves with how you evaluate the year as a whole.

i think there are definitely times when life throws things that are... Not So Great at you. whether if it's some external circumstance that surprised you, or maybe your mentality wasn't at it's best. i wish for anyone who's encountered those kinds of challenges to be able to triumph over them and be able to say that they got through it.

heck, it might still be a work in progress even though you've kept chipping away at it, and that's ok! the results will show themselves eventually as you work through it! and i hope that we can all remember to be patient with ourselves as we go through these processes (learning, healing, etc.), because damn, it can be frustrating when you feel like you're "not there yet."

knowing that life can be rough at times, i think it's unfair to yourself (and others) to discount and downplay any progress you've made this year- whether if it's something that you did for the first time, or maybe you came to a new understanding and insight that you didn't have in the previous year.

it's not to say that you should undermine the validity of your experience with hardship, but to take the time to remind yourself what makes life worth living. to recall what moments were the most satisfying to you- and use it to strengthen your resolve for the next year and beyond. no amount of hardship will ever take away from the fact that you deserve to have hope that things will get better.

i hope that looking back on the year, you don't leave out the things you cherish. that you can remember the good that came this year. whether if the small victories are things like meeting someone new, trying something out for the first time, or making some strides in a long-term project/obligation...!

i wish everyone a happy new year! may it be prosperous, and that your life can move in a direction that's close to what you want out of life. you're all going to do great! remember to congratulate yourself for what you did well! despite everything, you're still here, and that's wonderful. never forget that!

#lizzy speaks #hello everyone. i know that there are *checks calendar* still 20 days left of december and 2023 #but i've had a lot of strong emotions and feelings i've had to sort through as i've been thinking about how 2023 went for me #so a lot of what i've written here comes from the perspective of someone in their early 20s #it's like... a crash and burn from when you were a teenager thinking that you know everything #and realizing how big the world is and how many responsibilities there are #all while a feeling of overwhelm looms over as you try to sift your way through the world and adjust your understanding of it #for me i've definitely had an underlying thought that 'you should have your shit together by now why aren't you there yet' #and it's! not motivating! at all! to think that way. and it's made me more than ever want to be a friend to myself. to extend a patient- #kind voice to myself that reminds me that others are also trying to navigate these feelings and to accept that i'm not going to have an- #instantaneous understanding of how one goes about adulthood. and neither will they. even if they look 'put together.' #like... these people have also undergone similar stresses and along the way figured out how to navigate through that space #and personally i've found peace in knowing that there are people who are older than me. trusting that they've dealt with these things too i #some shape or form and that them living... being here.. is proof that we shall be fine in the end and that we will move past what plagues- #our mind. there's definitely been some... anger i've had this year that. school didnt teach me these things or skills!! i was so mad lol #but hey if we are little guys who are living on planet earth for the first time we shouldn't condemn ourselves to an unrealistic standard- #of going through life and being able to instantly do everything 'correctly' and know how everything works #i'm still working on improving that patience... and also trying to put in the work to understand these things. #in the midst of a very tough week for me i was tempted to say that 'nothing happened this year it was not productive' #but then i was like. that's. objectively not true if you just look at other things. also theres worth in life outside of 'productivity' #...i think i passed 20 tags at this point. but like. my favorite thing about 2023 was meeting so many cool awesome people! #who would've known that funny lil squid game could bring so many connections and friendships i cherish! #thank you so much! for being a part of my life and changing me for the better! for giving me many fond memories! #and i'm very grateful to anyone who supported me and my art this year... for sticking around even though i wished i could do more #it means the world to me knowing that there's proof that i exist and have touched someone's life in a positive way! thank you! truly! #ANYWAY. happy early new year. i hope everyone can nourish a friend in their head that extends acceptance and patience to themselves #as we try and make sense of the world together. there will be things that we don't understand yet! but one day we will! and it'll be like #wow! look how far i came! i'm okay! i'm alive! yipee! thank you for reading this post i made to get my feelings out! have a nice day!

[thenwethrowitonthefire]

Shout-out to everyone who survived a "fun" easter with the family

#fucking hell #it started with finding out my dad smoked in my car when I picked up my sister #who was equally dreading the day #my mum turns into the world's tensest and judgemental presence. worsened by my aunt #then hell for autistic people (of which there are multiple present) #multiple deaf people means one uninspired conversation that isn't interesting in any way. #combinations of passive aggressiveness and people not saying a thing because they can't participate. voice volumes too damn high #weirdass food situations. Very full table. so many smells. #this goes on for over an hour. wishing for literally anything but being there. soul crushing. #then you still have to sit in that room for 2.5 hours. it just goes on and on. #my autistic deaf dad physically looks like how I feel. my mum and aunt keep piling on top of him to demand his mental presence #i leave the room once (to get my phone to show pictures to my uncle) and am immediately followed upstairs by my mum #who demands I don't leave the room (What's next. following me when I need the toilet?) #me and my sister are so bored we start throwing paper planes and fake fighting. #Which amuses the bored and the deaf #but of course my mum and aunt have opinions and this is not allowed. only soul crushing boredom allowed #they complain to each other over it while aggressively doing dishes #finally it ends because my mum and aunt start insisting my dad should go to bed if he's 'that tired'. *sprinkle on some additional ableism* #still sitting through a conversation about allergies one of my sister's friends has. my mum preaching that people should take that seriously #(meanwhile i had to cook for myself for 9 years because when my allergies were really bad no one bothered to check if i could eat something) #me and my sister go sit upstairs to discover our mum has made things we care about vanish in her room #and made things appear that should not be there #I've washed the interior of my car and hope the smell will go #you think it's over after that. but woke up with the realisation that even more things have disappeared from my sister's room. #i can't remember a time when things left outside of my room didn't disappear #I don't know why we do these family gatherings at all. no one has fun on days like that. #the housing crisis isn't making these things easy. my sister is losing her place to live again as well #she'll go hiking for a month and then work on a campsite over the summer #maybe I'll go house sitting again. idk. #can't make commitments a few months in advance like that because I'll cancel everything the second Sparks announces anything important

[imperpetuallylost]

kinda crazy but…

im gay for you

:o no way i’m also gay for u <3

#also i’m fucking exhausted it was a long ass day of robot #i broke down crying for no reason in the middle of my last tech interview for drama #because i was so fucking stressed abt hosting the robotics comp this weekend and waiting on college decisions #and also two of my friends were like in the hospital at the time #one bc they hadn’t eaten in like a week because of an ed and we’re doing really badly #and the other because they had to get stitches bc of sh #but i couldn’t really explain alllll of that to my drama teacher #anyway #i did hear back from one of the schools tho!!!!! and i got in!!!!!! #but they didn’t give me as much money as i would have needed to commit there #so like i probably won’t end up going even tho i really loved the school and it’s kinda my top choice #and also the accepted students days all conflict and i ended up signing up for one that would mean id miss the end of district champs #for robotics if we qualify #which my hopes are vaguely high this year #but now i’m gonna have to miss part of it if we do :///// #and the other more competitive one i’m waiting on hearing from some time this weekend i’ve been checking the portal like every twenty minute #it’s really bad #anyway i’m gonna go take a shower and then go to sleep before i drive myself to another breakdown #idk why the tags of this ask was my place to say all of this but it sure was