#I choose not to see it

[officialhouseguest]

IM AWAKE BLUES AWAKE JAGS AWAKE I LOVE BIG BROTHER

#i am ignoring the rest of the overnight news #i choose not to see it #bb25

[eggs-can-draw]

v3 has been pretty good so far but I kinda sorta despise kokichi’s outfit. my mans has absolutely no drip.

#eggs can speak #ndrv3 #kokichi ouma #i may just give him a new outfit in art n stuff for the funsies #i choose not to see it

[wizardpink]

tis the season of being jumpscared by The Last of Us ads on youtube while sitting on the toilet gdi

#what if my blorbo can see me through the phone #i choose not to see it

[eventually--darling]

NOOOO did i just spoil it for myself

#I CHOOSE NOT TO SEE IT #the smile has left your eyes #kdrama posting

[dweebspace]

"You can't be a lurker on tumblr." Yes, you absolutely can. I've been quietly reblogging things since 2014 and I haven't interacted with anyone in years.

#reddit blackout #reddit migration #I realize this shout into the void is inviting that but I'm choosing to see it as taking one for the lurker team

[rivetgoth]

It's honestly crazy that discussion around testosterone HRT skews so much towards the beginning stages of it (to the point that you have dozens of guys thinking their transition is "failed" if they don't pass by like a year in lol) and what the initial changes of the first couple of months to years look like, like the classic laundry list of those early basic changes like bottom growth, voice drop, etc, when IMO literally none of that compares remotely to the depth and intensity of the long term total masculinization you start to experience like 3-5+ years in.

#also has made it increasingly difficult to relate to those early into their transition honestly #like not in a bitter way it’s just like hard to express how diff the experience is #of being like a year on T vs 5 😭 #ETA I muted this post ages ago now but fwiw seeing transphobes pop up in the notes on occasion just to say cruel reactionary shit #you are clowns I cannot imagine seeing a post that is ONLY about discussing with folks about the reality of a medication #and choosing to make that your moment to get a schoolyard bully jab in about how you find it gross or something. #you are less well adjusted than must children. may the universe be kinder to you than you are to others.

[inkskinned]

the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.

three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.

two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.

their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.

one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.

i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.

i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.

and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?

you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.

a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.

someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.

#writeblr #warm up #this is longer than i wanted i really considered removing that part about myself and what i went thru #but i think it really fucking bothers me that EVERY time i talk about being an artist #ppl assume i just like. had the skill and ability to drop everything and pay for grad school. #like sir i grew up poor. my house wasn't a safe space. i gave up a FREE RIDE TO LAW SCHOOL. for THIS. bc i chose it. #was it fucking hard? was i choosing the hard thing?? yes. #but we need to stop seeing artists as lazy layabouts that can ''afford'' to just ''sit around and create'' #when MANY - if not MOST - of us are NOT like that. we have to work our fucking ASSES off. hard work. long and hard work #part of valuing artists is recognizing the amount we sacrifice to make our art. bc it doesn't just #like HAPPEN to us. also btw it rarely has anything to do with true talent. #speaking as someone with a chronic condition i hate when ppl are like u have it easy. like actively as i'm writing this my hands r #ACTIVELY hurting me. i haven't been posting bc my left hand was curled in a claw for the last week #this isn't fucking luck. after a certain point it's not even TALENT. it's dedication & sacrifice. #''u get to flounce around and do nothing with ur life'' is a narrative that is a direct result of capitalism #imagine if we said that about literally any other profession. #''oh so u give up 10 yrs of ur life to be a doctor? u sacrifice having a social life and u get SUPER in debt? #u need to work countless hours and it will often be thankless? well i wish i was that lucky'' #we should be applying that logic to landlords ONLY #''oh ur mom and dad gave u the money to buy a house? and all u did was paint it white and rent it? huh.''

[bigfatbreak]

Birds of a Feather previous / next

#my art #feralnette au #birds of a feather #long tags #sorry I went apeshit in the tags #LETS SAY IT ALL TOGETHER NOW #I - M - A - G - OOOOOOOOO #its fun drawing marinette's back to Alya and having her appear stout and unstoppable and totally logical #and then you see her face and she's like two seconds from completely snapping and is keeping it together by a thread #as a note just because mari feels very certainly abt smth doesnt mean she's right. feelings can be valid and also irrational #in the throes of grief she decided it was better to be alone than to lose someone again so she started pulling away #and lila made pulling away very very very easy to do #shes also vaguely aware she's being unfair in pinning this on alya which is why she started spinning the drain on cockmoth again #legitimately all the shit that's happened to her wouldn't have been so catastrophic if he was never in the picture and she knows it #but the bitterness of her bestie choosing a fantastic liar over her at the worst of times stiiiiiings #alya's personal timing was bad but lila really took advantage of the fact that marinette had been acting off and weird #she basically clocked marinette as being unstable from SOMETHING and made up a lie about her #knowing she wouldn't have the strength to defend herself #between her social life going tachy bc of lila and losing fu in a way that felt like personhood death marinette was really put on the spot #and alya doing her thing of busting in there and assuming her bias is correct was a terrible combo #essentially marinette is highly unstable and alya is just realizing that #busting in and giving her a lecture when she's slightly hysterical and definitely delirious from exhaustion is NOT the way #to show her she's self sabotaging #cuz thats just gonna make her double down on self sabotaging. bc marinette will not accept that she is also a CHIIIIILD

[suiheisen]

tou-san said “boy, you’d better werk”. anyway, please watch kinou nani tabeta

#he said: is being gay a JOKE to you???? #actual japanese is: そんな中途半端な気持ちで同性愛をやっているのか #a little like are you gonna ‘do this gay thing’ so halfheartedly??? #which i think expresses how very out of touch and unfamiliar his parents are with what their son is - they still see his #orientiation as an ‘activity’/something he chooses to do #rewatching this thanks to @calcifershearts influence #kinou nani tabeta #yoshinaga fumi #autoplay warning #lgbt #*r

[paper-lilypie]

ok but that kid Mobius couldn’t prune was Loki right. like, that was Loki right. The brothers at the dock. That was Loki and Thor right. It was Loki

Mobius couldn’t kill Loki, chose his burden, and dedicated his life to him instead.

Mobius’s story started and ended with Loki. It had to be Loki.

#loki spoilers #loki #loki season 2 #lokius #mobius m mobius #LIKE #IM STILL WRAPPING MY HEAD AROUND THE FACT THAT HE WAS A HUNTER #AND NOW WE FIND OUT HES NOT BC HE COULDNT KILL A KID #HELLO #WE CHOOSE OUR BURDENS HE SAYS #HE CHOSE TO STICK TO HIS HUMANITY #THE SAME HUMANITY HE SEES IN LOKI #GRIPS SERIES #WHY DO MY GAY MEN ALWAYS END UP SEPARATED #FUCK #I NEED THE REST #WHERES THE REEEEEESST

[stuckinapril]

I love Tumblr because nothing matters here truly. There are no influencers. Having followers doesn’t mean anything. It’s just a site where people post their sporadic thoughts and rb pretty pictures. Anyone who thinks any of this matters is woefully missing the point

#I joined tumblr for the aesthetics and now I’m here bc it’s the most low pressure social media to be on #Instagram is ppl’s highlight reel but Tumblr is where u see their pure thoughts unobstructed and I adore that #It’s very nice to have people to relate to and is def the main appeal to me but I don’t think there’s much more to it than that genuinely #Monetization on tumblr isn’t a thing and probably won’t be so it feels stupid to put more stake than necessary in it. Like you’re in the #Trenches over tumblr of all things. Embarrassing #I know chronically online people exist bc I have seen them in my or somebody else’s inbox but imagine waking up at 70 one day and the #Realization hitting u like a freight time that u wasted all ur time thinking tumblr. TUMBLR. This dying website. Has enough weight for u to #be sending anon hate or reviewing ppl’s blogs like they’re some kind of product. Brother this is licherally tumblr #I choose to laugh at this behavior than take it seriously bc absolutely no one is driving me crazy on my OWN blog. On tumblr dot com. #I refuse #I will do whatever I want forever etc

[whollyjoly]

i want the whole SEASON of bucktommy

i want buck being wooed - flowers and being taken out and a little protective hand on the small of his back

i want to hear all the soft ways tommy can say evan and the look on buck's face when he does

i want to see them at tommy's karaoke trivia place because holy shit buck would love it (and didnt oliver say that we're getting buck singing this season cause uhhhhh)

i love that this is such a fling, such a happy thing for buck - he is finally feeling that puzzle piece click into place and it is freeing

and i cant wait to see all the small ways we see that play out!!!

let buck be happy challenge 2k24!!!!

#i'll never shut up about this i fear #i am just SO happy to see a happy bi!buck exploring what his feelings mean!! #just getting to be!! and grow!! and flirt and have FUN!!! #god that euphoria when you realize that its okay that you dont have to choose you can just *be* #its so fucking real and i cant believe i get to see it through the eyes of my favorite character #is this?? real life?? #fuck me up man #otp: better ways to get your attention #bucktommy #kinkley #tuck #? #evan buckley #tommy kinard #911 spoilers #911 abc #911 on abc #im just so fucking shook i cant believe it #its REAL #em speaks #mine

[alpacacare-archive]

day twoe ah haha

#repostober #alphys #gaster #undertale #sorry i was busy the last few days and missed day 2&3 #but i love her so #unpopular opinion but i like it better when alphys and gasters dynamic is more like this than alphys has a crush on another person that #everyone thinks is out of her league and will never choose her #cus you never see people genuinely shipping them its always just her pining and him being cold and stoic. like why. isnt them being silly #stupid work buddies so much better #isnt him taking one look at her and being like. ALRIGHT NEW CHILD. PAPYRUS. SANS. YOU NOW HAVE A SISTER. so much better than tormenting her #anyway #i love this animal. the ah fees. #i love drawing her like a real lizard i think thats cool i think she deserves it #hug an alphys and tell her you love her today

[chernozemm]

I need Aziraphale learning very quickly that being kind and considerate gets him nowhere in Heaven, so he tucks away his goofy, big-hearted nature and just turns into a maliciously compliant Bitch™.

This is a man who canonically has "discouraged" multiple mobster groups threatening to burn his bookshop, who has successfully scared hundreds of customers away by being just unpleasant enough and who dropped down three octaves to correct Furfur when he messed up his name.

He swallows his pride, puts on a power suit and starts executing a Corporate Nightmare upon upper management in Heaven.

#good omens #good omens 2 #aziraphale #season 3 #myart #he digs his heels and says oh youre gonna sabotage my vision? #i will read the entire terms and conditions of the ineffable plan and create so much paperwork for the second coming that you will wish #you were dead #oh you think i am a soft bitch who will flop belly up and be a puppet? let me disabuse you of this notion #it will be heartbreaking to see him lose his idealistic vision of Heaven and struggle to implement his own ideas because of the structural #issues #but i am also hoping we get to see this steel core he has mature #also sidenote-this change of looks isnt intended as a “glowup”. I love that he chooses to be happy and goofy and pudgy and radiant #its more like temporary armour

[dedusmuln]

yeah you support trans people but are you normal about trans men who choose to get pregnant

#i'm not a trans guy who evr wants to get pregnant but #the amount of queer ppl and other trans people i see joke around about like #how weird mpreg or men getting pregnant is #and use it as shock value shit #is really disheartening #like damn dude! it's almost like men CAN get pregnant and there IS a lot of men who choose to get pregnant ! #they don't deserve any less respect for that #and their existence shouldn't be made into a joke #ik mpreg doesn't have a great history but like #it just weirds me out to see people treat the idea of men getting pregnant as something baffling #idk normalize it. stop treating it as some weird alien thing #my textbox #a little bit upset. sorry #discourse #pregnancy #<- for filtering

[cube-cumb3r]

while im at it neopronoun opposition is weird to me as a swedish person.. the whole debate is so anglocentric that they assume every language landed on the same solution they did, to reuse a plural pronoun as a gender neutral one and then they think any other solution is absurd or unheard of. what do you mean you just made another pronoun up you cant do that!! etc

coz its like here in the 2014 the swedish academy accepted 3rd person pronoun "hen" (as opposed to hon/han) like officially into our word list after it gained some popularity in the 2010s. like that is a NEOPRONOUN that someone just Came Up With in like the 60s and then people just started using it and now its just a recognized part of our language. sure we could've also reused our plural pronoun "de/dem" as a gender neutral one but we just made up a new one instead. and to like imply that mainstream use of a neopronoun is just UNHEARD OF and that neopronouns is something the mainstream could NEVER GET USED TO EVER!!! is... your perspective is very limited to the english speaking world is all i can say

#now like it is pretty cool that the swedish academy did choose to include it in our word list even despite the conteoversy #because ofc there was conteoversy what do yoy MEAN youre CHANHING OUR LANGUAGE???? #but like even if that disnt happen the word still gained lots of traction before that and started being used #like smth doeant have to be accepted by the mainstream nevessairly to be valid anyway #some ppl are happy even if only their friends and loved ones r the ones using their neopronouns #so like. bleh #q-rambl3 #sorry for the many gender rambles these past weeks #i see so much discourse and it irritates me ans TBIS IS MY ONLY OUTLETTTT