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artificialqueens · 5 years

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malamente part 2 (Branjie) - Evan

A/N: A second chapter? On an Evan fic? It’s more likely than you think! Join me in my murderess escapist fantasy that also has some light ghost action now. Meggie owns my heart for beta-ing, and shoutout to the Branjie Avengers discord for still loving me even though I disappeared into the mountains for a little while.

Reminder to check those tags! It’s a dark one folks! find me @formercongressman.

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Brooke tries to start a new life.

She eats the obligatory casseroles, she boxes up Jason’s things, and she stores the two gifted copies of Chicken Soup for the Grieving Soul that she does not intend to read on the bottom row of her bookshelf.

She goes to yoga. It’s been a long time since she danced, and a long time since she’s done anything that felt good with her body. It’s not an easy thing to get back into, moving like this, but she starts to feel little openings as the muscles in her back click into place. It feels like coming home.

She bakes. Excessively. Muffins and cookies and pies stack up in her refrigerator. She attempts a souffle, and it’s surprisingly successful. Nina graciously accepts the leftovers that Brooke can’t keep. On Sunday morning she invites Nina over and they share mimosas and omelettes and homemade croissants.

She finishes the Ibsen play. It has a wonderful ending.

But ultimately, Brooke finds that she has a lot of time on her hands, no job, and more than enough money in her bank account to have no motivation to change that. It’s not exactly good for her. She goes into her kitchen sometimes at sunset and sits on the same stool, fixates on the same spot on the tile floor, replays the thud and his voice and the crackle of his breath. She smokes a cigarette out the window until the night air is too cold to bear. She eats the rest of the fig pastries.

(She’d do it again, of course. Maybe spill some blood this time. Maybe give someone a reason to be more suspicious. At least it would give her something to do.)

About two weeks in, she starts seeing ghosts.

Okay, it’s probably not a ghost. It’s not a cohesive haunting. It’s all little things, like an inexplicably moving shadow. It’s a glass that falls and breaks for no reason. It’s creaks in the floorboards upstairs that she used to attribute to Jason stumbling around, but probably they were always there. There’s no form, nothing that carries his face, but Brooke is pretty sure he’s found his way back into the house and he’s following her around. The heat rumbles on and she flinches.

This, she tells Nina. Nina doesn’t need any more information to know why Brooke might be feeling this way. She’s committed to never telling her, but as it gets more and more unnerving to be alone in her own home, that gets all the more challenging a decision to have made.

“You’re freaking yourself out. You need to make friends,” Nina tells her over the phone. Nina, bless her, just thinks she’s bored. “People to go out with, that kind of thing.”

“You’re my friend.”

“Most people have more than one friend, sweetheart.”

Touché .

She doesn’t want to fake her way through a grief support group, and she thinks she’s somehow managed to intimidate everyone in her yoga class before she could even introduce herself. At one point she feels like she’s really hitting it off with the Trader Joe’s cashier, but on the walk back to her car she realizes it’s probably his job to be nice to her.

Maybe she’ll adopt a cat. Jason was allergic to that, too.

Her mind drifts back to Vanessa, as it has a couple of times now. Brooke thinks that it’s possible that she might have been a ghost too, come to think of it. Vanessa is still the only person she’s told (she’s not going to spring this on the Trader Joe’s cashier) which keeps her as a constant presence at the back of Brooke’s mind. That, and she can still feel that spark on her skin where Vanessa had placed her hand. It lingers.

It’s surprisingly easy to find her. Brooke isn’t very good with computers, but the cemetery has an online calendar and there was only one other burial the same day as Jason’s. Lidia Augustina Mateo, age 95. She searches the name, finds an obituary, and then finds her name in the long list of her abuela’s surviving relatives. Vanessa Isabella Mateo.

So that’s how Brooke finds herself on Vanessa’s Facebook page. Brooke’s cursor hovers over the message button before she starts second guessing herself. Maybe this is weird. This is probably weird. But nothing is quite normal these days and Brooke needs someone to really talk to, and it feels like she’s got very little to lose.

B: Hey! Sorry if this is out of the blue or creepy, but I was wondering how you were doing the other day and thought I would ask. Let me know if you’d ever want to get drinks and catch up.

She hits send before she reads it back. It’s way too much. She throws in an addendum that doesn’t help:

B: This is Brooke, by the way. From the graveyard.

She closes her laptop and tosses it to the other end of the couch. Either she’ll respond or she won’t. She scrolls through pictures of cats at a local animal shelter on her phone, ready to accept her fate.

But an hour or so later she checks her computer, almost forgetting. And there’s a notification.

V: Oh I remember you, Brooke from the graveyard

V: I’m glad you sent this, should have gave you my number lol

V: What are you up to tonight?

So it’s really that easy. They plan to meet at a rooftop bar that’s a few blocks from Brooke’s house and Brooke swaps out her sweatpants for tailored slacks. About thirty seconds into her walk over she regrets the heels, but she grins and bears it.

When she gets there, Vanessa is sitting at a high top table, absently swinging her feet, focused intently down at her phone. Her hair falls in loose ringlets over her shoulders, and for a moment Brooke wonders if Vanessa might just be one of those people who always looks effortlessly gorgeous. She thinks this with a tinge of jealousy and a bit of awe. Vanessa tosses her hair to the side and cocks her head with a smile when she notices Brooke hovering in the entrance, and Brooke stops wondering, becomes more sure.

It’s cold so they’re inside, but Vanessa has snagged a table right by the window, so at least they have a view.

“I’m still surprised you were free tonight,” Brooke says as Vanessa pops off of her chair and kisses the air next to Brooke’s cheek.

“Oh, any excuse for drinks on a Wednesday and girl, I’m there.”

As if on cue, the waiter brings over a drink Vanessa had already ordered. It’s bright pink, with a cherry at the bottom.

“Big sweet tooth?” Brooke asks through half a smile.

“Massive,” Vanessa answers as she joyfully sips her sugary drink.

Brooke gets a Manhattan and drinks it slowly as Vanessa leans back on her chair, balancing precariously on two legs of the stool, and quizzes Brooke about her world and her life.

“So tell me about this luxury. What’s it like to be rich, white, and unemployed?”

Stories spill out of Brooke like Vanessa has just turned on the faucet. She talks about lazing the day away binging Netflix on the couch in her pajamas. She describes the thrilling panic of almost burning down her house when she fucked up and tried to bake cookies at 530 degrees instead of 350 like the recipe said. She complains about the thin girls in her yoga class who are married to tech magnates at 24 and think green juice will save their lives. Vanessa rolls her eyes, nods, is somehow absolutely enraptured. Brooke doesn’t mention the ghost. Yet.

“I think I might get a cat,” she says, and Vanessa’s face lights up.

Brooke doesn’t understand how, but she makes Vanessa laugh. Her laugh is really more of a screech, which bounces off of the tables and finds its way into every nook and cranny of the crowded bar. She draws attention, but Brooke finds she doesn’t mind.

The waiter comes back by when they both have empty glasses and ask if they’d like another drink. Brooke quickly orders another round, but Vanessa waves him off. Brooke looks at her with an arched, inquisitive eyebrow.

“Oh, I love a fancy cocktail,” Vanessa explains, “But it’s pricey, you know?”

“I’ll pay.” Brooke doesn’t hesitate. “Get whatever you like.”

She could swear Vanessa blushes as she looks at the ground, but it’s probably just the liquor. She orders another drink.

“But you, tell me about you,” Brooke says. “I don’t even know what you do.”

“I work at a dress store. Weddings, proms, that kind of thing. It’s good money, but I swear if it wasn’t for that and the girls I get to work with, I’d quit in a second.” She talks about her friends and coworkers, Silky and A’keria, and the one dress a month they work together to steal without their boss noticing. Vanessa had gotten the one from last month, the same one she wore to her abuela’s funeral. She rolls her eyes while she recounts the story of the mother-of-the-bride who insisted on trying on a teenager’s homecoming dress, and A’keria had to step in to keep Vanessa from losing her customer service cool.

It strikes Brooke how Vanessa is truly different than anyone she has ever really gotten to know, the sharpest possible contrast to the flippant wives of Jason’s coworkers and the always-collected fundraiser organizers she actually got along pretty well with. It stings, a bit, as Brooke realizes just how small her world had grown. But Vanessa is here in front of her, a dazzlingly authentic person, and Brooke’s gratitude doubles.

They get their third round of drinks, and that’s when Vanessa crosses one leg over the other, leans back, and asks, “So like, how are you doingdoing?”

Brooke is drunk enough to know exactly what she means but not quite drunk enough to be so transparent. “I thought I told you.”

“I haven’t told nobody your secret,” she says, softer, “And I’m guessing you haven’t either.”

Brooke looks around the room. She had been so focused that she hadn’t realized how much the bar had filled up, and that suddenly feels like too much. “I don’t want to talk about it here.”

“Hm. Let’s go outside, then.”

Before Brooke can protest that it’s too cold for that, Vanessa’s got her drink in her hand and a faux fur coat tossed over her shoulder, and Brooke can’t think to do anything other than throw on a jacket and follow her.

The night air doesn’t sting like she had anticipated. She’s warmed by the buzz of the alcohol she can feel vibrating just beneath her skin. Vanessa’s standing by the railing near the edge of the roof, up on her toes even in heels to peer down over the edge to the street below. Brooke joins her, shoulder to shoulder, and she focuses beyond the colorful neon of the buildings to the small dots of light from the fishing boats speckling the horizon of the lake.

“I’m not doing well,” Brooke finally says. “I’m seeing ghosts.”

Vanessa’s eyes light up a bit. “Like what? Are you seeing figures? Cold spots? You don’t know this about me yet, but I will go full ghost hunter if I have to.”

“It’s just little things, shadows and creaks and stuff like that.”

Vanessa hums. “That’s less exciting.”

“I promise you, it’s still pretty terrifying.”

Vanessa sips her drink, and clicks her tongue in disapproval. “Sounds to me like you’re still scared of a dead man.”

“That’s… no.”

“You are. You’re living like he’s gonna get up out of that coffin and come after you again.” Vanessa sets down her drink and fixes her hair with purpose. “Listen, this shit fucks you up bad. I know this shit fucks you up bad. But like, if he’s in the ground, he’s in the ground. And you gotta live your own life, cause he’s not coming back.”

Brooke sighs. She fixates on a rooftop terrace a few blocks away, where someone is growing tomatoes and rosemary and she can’t make out what else. It feels like Vanessa has peeled back Brooke’s skin, already knows the layout of the gears turning underneath, pinpoints the problem in a heartbeat. Maybe this is just what it’s like to be vulnerable, really vulnerable. Maybe this is a vivisection.

Noticing Brooke’s silence, Vanessa speaks up again. “Sorry, this shit gets me worked up.”

“Don’t apologize. It’s–” It’s what? Indicative of a level of care no one has shown for me in a very long time ? She can’t just say that, even though it’s probably the truth. “It’s good.”

“I’m just… I’m jealous. Maybe that’s a fucked up thing to say, but I clearly have no filter here and it’s not like you’re some kind of saint. But if I was in your position, I would… Shit, I don’t know. It’s an opportunity, is what I’m saying. You just gotta figure out what you want.”

(Brooke wants to swim out to the fishing boats and see how big those lights actually are. She wants to perform internationally again, but she knows that door has probably closed. She wants to pick a sprig of rosemary from that rooftop garden and carry it around in her pocket. She wants someone to know her better than she knows herself, to love her for her, as soon as she figures out who she is now. And she wants another drink.)

One of these ideas is immediately accomplishable, so she settles on that.

“I want scotch,” Brooke answers simply.

“What?” Vanessa looks at her like she’s snapped, which maybe she has.

“Do you like scotch? There’s this bottle Jason was saving, real top shelf stuff, and he would get so pissed if I ever moved it–”

“And we’re going to smash it.”

“No, we’re going to drink it. But with the same level of spite. I live close. Come on.”

She’s drunk enough that the walk back feels like floating, even though she might stumble a bit on the uneven sidewalks. And if Vanessa pulls Brooke’s arm over her shoulder to keep her steady, she’s not complaining.

Brooke moves to pull her keys out of her pocket once they’re outside her house, and Vanessa freezes in place. Brooke unlocks the gate as she watches Vanessa’s eyes dart between the high shrubs, the columns and arches, and the fountain trickling lightly outside.

“Oh, so she’s rich rich,” Vanessa muses.

“He was rich, I just lucked out,” is the only way she can think to answer.

“Shut up. You have a fucking fountain . In front of your house .”

“Yeah, isn’t it gaudy?”

Vanessa’s eyes narrow, and she cups her hand to catch a bit of water flowing from the fountain, and flings it at Brooke.

“Bitch!” she shrieks, because it’s cold, but can’t resist the laugh she feels bubbling up. She digs up a shred of self-awareness. “I deserved that.”

“You did.“

Brooke sits next to Vanessa on the edge of the fountain for a moment, as she traces a finger idly through the water.

“So you got all of this?” Vanessa asks, “All his money too?“

“Not all. But quite a bit, yes.” She had reviewed the will with their lawyer a few days ago, and was frankly shocked at how much he had left for her. Maybe he had drawn it up before he had turned so cruel. Maybe he had just been too lazy to change it. But either way, Brooke knew if she played her cards right, she was set for life.

“Damn. You gotta me how to get into that game, girl, I could use it. Might almost be worth it to kill mine if there was any money in it.”

“That isn’t funny,” Brooke says because she feels obligated.

“You laughed.”

(Vanessa’s right.)

“Come inside, it’s freezing,” Brooke says eventually, as she almost starts shivering.

Brooke unlocks the front door and she can’t help but watch Vanessa’s expression as she gazes up at the vaulted ceilings, the modern furniture, the piece of abstract art that takes up nearly an entire wall. Brooke is proud of this space; she picked a lot of the decor out herself.

“Damn,” Vanessa breathes, and the corner of Brooke’s mouth turns up.

Brooke sets down her things, hangs Vanessa’s coat by the door, and retrieves the bottle of scotch off the high shelf of the wet bar. Jason’s father had gotten it for him as a gift when he became the CEO of the bank, and it had sat completely undisturbed for the three years since then. Twisting off the top feels like the most delicious kind of fuck you.

“There’s no ghost in here,” Vanessa says unprompted as she settles into the large armchair in the living room that exaggerates just how small she is. “I can see how you think there’s one, being in this big empty house all by yourself, but I think you’re safe.”

“You can tell?” Brooke carefully pours a small amount of scotch into two glasses.

“Sometimes, yeah.” Vanessa’s eyes are still darting between the ceiling, the large open kitchen, and the miscellania in the glass display cases. “The energy in here is weird as hell, but you probably just need to sage it.”

“Noted,” Brooke says as she hands Vanessa a glass and settles into the couch next to her.

They clink the glasses together, a silent cheers, before finally taking a sip. It’s impossibly smooth liquor, with just a bit of bite at the end, which Brooke wholeheartedly respects. She’s no dark liquor aficionado, but she’s pretty sure it tastes like a late-summer bonfire with notes of vindication.

“I don’t know shit about scotch, but god this is fancy,” Vanessa says as she swirls the amber liquid in her glass. “Good riddance to your man.”

“Good riddance,” Brooke says quietly. She remembers briefly the other two scotch glasses from this set shattering against the wall inches from her head, and takes another sip. It’s retribution. It’s another light revenge. “And fuck him.”

“Fuck him,” Vanessa agrees. She gives Brooke the softest knowing smile, and Brooke isn’t sure if it’s the scotch or just Vanessa, but she feels some kind of warmth spread through her chest.

“You have an asshole boyfriend,” Brooke says after a moment. It’s a statement, not a question.

“You remembered that.” Also not a question. “His name is Victor.”

“How bad is it?” Brooke asks. For a second she worries it’s too far, but she waits.

Vanessa takes another sip, thinking it over. “It’s not that bad. Really, it’s not. Most days it’s good, he buys me nice things and he’s sweet.” She sighs. “But he’s got this temper, you know? And he gets jealous over stupid shit. But no, he just screams and throws shit at the wall, and I get right out of there and go wait it out at one of my girls’ places. And then he begs me to come back, and then he treats me like a queen.” Vanessa looks at the ceiling, bites her lip. “Never lasts, though.”

Brooke just nods. It sounds too familiar. Eerily familiar. Vanessa’s jaw is tight, and Brooke can see just how strong she is in that moment. She wants to scoop Vanessa out of there, this earlier version of herself, and help her get out of it before it gets worse. But she knows it’s not that simple.

“He never hits me, and god if he did, it’d be the last thing he does, I swear.”

“That’s the difference,” Brooke doesn’t realize she says out loud.

“What?”

“Jason was all of those things, plus the hitting.”

“Oh.” Vanessa looks at the ground and back up. “I’m sorry.”

“Good riddance,” Brooke echoes, shrugs, and takes another drink.

“How did you do it?”

“Do what?” Brooke’s glass clinks against the metal side table.

“If we’re getting real personal. How did you kill him? Tell me.”

Brooke sighs, takes a moment. “He was allergic to figs,” she says simply. She almost laughs at how strange an answer it is, with these words that she’s never actually formed into sentences before. “Very allergic to figs. And I baked some fig pastries, he found them in the fridge, and he didn’t check. And that was it.”

Vanessa’s jaw is actually hanging open. “Shit, that’s–”

“Complicated?”

“I was gonna say spooky as fuck, but that works too, yeah.”

“So it really just looks like an accident. It was an accident, honestly. He’s just an idiot, at the end of the day. So yeah. That’s how.”

“Damn. And now you can do whatever you want,” Vanessa says, looking frankly amazed.

“You’re not taking notes, are you?”

“No, god no, I’d be out of there before it came to that. There’s nothing that serious keeping me with him.”

Brooke almost says I said that too . But she lets it go.

Brooke wishes that she could actually do whatever she wants, but that’s complicated too, what with the ghosts-that-aren’t-ghosts creeping around her home. She’s still not sure what she wants, what she’s supposed to want, what it feels like to want for something instead of just wanting to get away.

“Say you left your boyfriend. Victor,” Brooke asks. “Say you could do whatever you want. What would you do?”

Vanessa smiles that same whole-face smile that already feels familiar. “I’d leave. I’d get in my car and drive until I found a place where I wanted to be. And I’d start over. Maybe somewhere by the water. Maybe doing something with animals. And I’d have a big kitchen and a lot of light and a garden. Yeah, that’s what I want.”

A garden. Tomatoes for homemade pico de gallo, a rainbow of bell peppers, maybe even some strawberries. Something to watch after, something to care for. She could get behind that.

Vanessa is almost down to the bottom of her glass, and Brooke notices.

“Another?” Brooke asks.

“No, I should get going actually.” She checks the time on her phone. “ Fuck , how is it already one in the morning? And I have to work tomorrow.”

“Oh, I’m sorry I kept you.” Brooke hadn’t been paying attention to the time, and barely even felt tired. “Are you all right getting home? Is that going to be safe for you?” Brooke is ready to offer her guest bedroom in a heartbeat.

“Yeah, yeah, it’s fine, he’ll be asleep anyway.” Vanessa kicks back the rest of her scotch, bats her eyes rapidly as she swallows. “And if he gets jealous later, I’ll tell him there’s nothing to worry about.”

“Right,” Brooke says without thinking.

“Because there’s nothing to worry about, right?”

And then there’s a moment. Vanessa’s gaze is locked in on her, and the seriousness of the question settles in the air. Something inside Brooke lurches, and suddenly she feels like she’s 20 and drunk at a college party, swaddled in the allure of breaking the rules and accepting an unlikely invitation. Oh .

(She could kiss her. She could lean over the arm of the couch, wrap those curls around her fingers, catch those too-expectant lips with her own. And it wouldn’t feel too out of place, because Vanessa is young and gorgeous and seems to conduct electricity. She feels it sparkling right now on the back of her neck, urging her forward, drawing her in, and fuck it she might just go for–)

Brooke’s brain catches up with her body, context and the words Vanessa had just said snap into place, and Brooke sits back two inches in her chair.

“Right,” she repeats. She stalled too long to pass it off casually. Vanessa doesn’t flinch.

“Well. Thank you for the drinks.” Vanessa smiles that same brilliant smile as she pushes her hair over her shoulder and smooths her skirt. “Let’s do this again.”

Brooke is certain she imagined it. She plays that split second back in her mind as Vanessa pulls on her coat, because there’s nothing to worry about, right ringing in her ears. But no, she had to be joking, they’re drunk, it’s late, Vanessa’s got a boyfriend and Brooke’s recently murdered husband probably hasn’t even started decomposing. There’s no way.

(She could have kissed her.)

“You’re walking?” Brooke finally manages.

“Uber.” Vanessa holds up her phone to show her the app. “Arriving soon.”

“Let me give you my number, and you can text me when you get home safe.” Brooke is feeling confused but also bold, so when Vanessa hands over her phone, she adds an emoji next to her contact name. A little black heart. Vanessa smiles when she sees it.

“Goodnight, Vanessa.”

“Goodnight, Brooke.”

Vanessa hesitates before turning to go, then stands on her tip toes and presses a kiss high on Brooke’s cheek. Could just be a goodbye. Could be something more. Brooke doesn’t know, because Vanessa has disappeared toward the car waiting in front of her home with the blinkers on before Brooke can ask any questions.

The door clicks shut. Brooke sits back down, taking the rest of the scotch in her glass like it’s a shot. She rubs the back of her neck, and looks down at her hand, half expecting the lingering sparks to come away as glitter. There’s nothing.

Vanessa texts her a simple got home safe! about twenty minutes later, and Brooke responds with another goodnight! Vanessa texts back a black heart, and Brooke stares at it for what is probably a little too long.

Brooke settles into her bed warm and drunk and spinning for too many reasons, most of which she can’t put words to. The house doesn’t creak tonight.

#rpdr fanfiction #brooke lynn hytes #vanessa vanjie mateo #nina west #branjie #lesbian au #angst #hurt/comfort #malamente #evan #tw domestic violence #tw murder #concrit welcome #submission

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maryellencarter · 6 years

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working on 9/11: an exercise in keeping one's mouth shut. at least my poor trainer is gonna be trying to get through a week's worth of material today (we are so behind), so maybe there won't be too much chatter.

(one of the recent high school graduates in class was bitching yesterday about how his teachers and stuff would all have stories about where they were on 9/11/01 and all the Never Forget stuff, cause he was one year old obviously, and he was like "it's history! it happened!" and like... pointing out that even though he doesn't have a Where Were You When You Heard story, the aftermath has shaped his whole entire life, and -- idk, words are hard, i just really liked hearing someone acknowledging the historical importance while also being kind of irreverent about what has basically become a major religious holiday of Murrica-worshippers. I speak as an apostate of that religion myself. ;P)

Honestly, as long as I'm rambling about this, I may as well do my whole 9/11 ramble, or what I can get of it on a phone keyboard. So to preface, I was... I'm gonna obfuscate my age a tad and say fourteen or fifteen, but I was just hitting that stage of brain development where teenagers get really into questioning the assumptions that underpin their lives. In my case, I wound up really noticing just how fast everything moved and how suddenly all the adults around me appeared to lose their critical faculties. Over the next few years I lost a lot of what had been a very strong faith in the founding USian ideals; I still think it was a damn worthwhile experiment, but I now think your average human is too damn out-groupy and illogical to make any such experiment work long-term on a centuries-to-millennia scale.

Uh. Where was I? Right. So then, due to reasons, I spent large chunks of the Remodel of Doom researching the 9/11/01 timeline and so forth. I would not go so far as to say that "9/11 Was An Inside Job", but I was looking for a satisfactory answer to one very specific question, desperately trying to make the official story hold up, and I still haven't found one. (I was also writing what, in retrospect, was a perplexingly time-displaced Captain America/Avengers AU long before CA:TFA hit theaters, in which 9/11 took the approximate place of the Chitauri invasion. I'm still so damn chuffed that I called every major story beat in The First Avenger; that was honestly the moment, when I realized that in the theater, where I really started to believe in myself as a writer. The movie was of course far better written and more cohesive than anything I'd committed to paper, but I'd gotten the plot outline right, and that was a huge confidence booster for me. Not massively relevant, but Steve Rogers in the 21st century is forever tied to 9/11 for me, so that goes in the ramble. Might go back to that story sometime, actually... I say while not working on any of the sixty pilotfics I want to write... ;P)

So, uh, anyway, MCU-related digressions aside. That one question was "How did the government sources talking to the news media know that al-Qaeda was the terrorist organization to which the hijackers were linked before anyone even knew how many planes had been hijacked or where they were headed?" Because I remember very clearly -- I didn't know al-Qaeda from a hole in the wall (I didn't know *the World Trade Center* from a hole in the wall, I was actually picturing the New York Stock Exchange until the existence of the towers became relevant, and we didn't have a TV to unconfuse me), but the radio announcers were floating the specific name "al-Qaeda" specifically before the second tower even fell. Not a general suspicion of "Islamic terrorists", they went straight to al-Qaeda, and specifically in the context that al-Qaeda had *not* claimed responsibility for the attacks, phrased in such a way as to imply (but not state in a legally liable way) that it was already Known they were at fault.

Me, after years of chewing on that and drawing timelines, I've settled at the belief that it almost certainly wasn't "an inside job" in the sense of being performed directly by government agents posing as hijackers or government demolitions teams -- frankly, I don't think a USian focused on PR would have come up with those targets, we'd go for the Statue of Liberty and the White House or Congress like every disaster movie does -- but I do strongly suspect there were US agents grooming disaffected young men toward the idea, like how we used to (and probably still do) stoke local conflicts abroad in order to gain influence. And I am very certain that at minimum, somebody in an important decision-making position had A Plan: that if and when a newsworthy terrorist attack happened on US soil, the name of al-Qaeda would be floated, the populace whipped into a frenzy, the PATRIOT Act pushed through, and Afghanistan invaded. I doubt they had the whole PATRIOT Act actually prepped ahead of time, but the basic "give them al-Qaeda for a scapegoat and let them demand blood" -- I have never found any evidence I could use to make myself doubt that that plan existed and was implemented, and believe me, I fucking wanted to. :P

So yeah, that's what I've got of the 9/11 ramble I'm not going to deliver at work. One more side note. There's a verse of "America the Beautiful" that irritates the fuck out of me, because it goes on about "heroes proved in liberating strife", referring to the USian War of Independence, so George Washington etc, "who more than self their country loved, and mercy more than life". Loving your country more than yourself is all very well and good, but a soldier who loves "mercy more than life" is A SHITTY-ASS GODDAMN SOLDIER if not outright a pacifist, and either way quite likely dead! :P I get so fucking *mad*. The point is, as Sir Pterry said, to make the other poor bastard die for his country first.

So. But. Anyway. The part where this ties into 9/11. There was actually a picture book, because Murricanism is very much a major religion along the lines of mainstream Xtianity, gotta indoctrinate those babies young. (I'm feeling very snarky for obvious reasons.) But this particular picture book was the lyrics of America the Beautiful with stock photos of the amber waves of grain and purple mountain majesties and all that, and for that verse, they used a news photo of the Twin Towers with the smoke and some pics of firefighters and EMTs. And *that* got me right in the fucking feels, because I swear to god, man. It actually applies. If anybody does "love mercy more than life" in the line of duty, it's first responders. And I -- I wish it hadn't just been an excuse for another fucking pointless war, I wish that hadn't been the direction we spun it, because damn. Can you imagine -- I'm not sure I'm making any sense at all here, but can you imagine a world where instead of the runaway inflation of military spending and police militarization that we've got, a world where we turned toward aggressively funding paramedics and other social services? Thanking them for their service? Where saving lives was valorized instead of taking them. I wish I lived in that world. :S

um, yeah. thank you for coming to my ted talk, as the children say :S

#not sure how to tag this #9 11 fake tag #world trade center fake tag #twin towers fake tag #thinky thoughts

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benyavin · 6 years

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your favorite breaking benjamin album!!

MARIA!!! How dare you??? (I love this I love you but w h y would you EVER ASK ME?? TO C H O O S E ?????? Between ALL SIX (((SIX!! There’s a new one!!))) BEAUTIFUL BREAKING BENJAMIN ALBUMS WHEN LITERALLY ALL OF THEM ARE SO BEAUTIFUL WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME)

Clearly you must have known you were asking for an essay on Breaking Benjamin albums. So I shall humor you, as there is nothing I love to talk about more.

Saturate - 2002Okay okay okay if I had to pick a /least/ favorite it’s probably this one. BUT THAT DOES NOT MEAN I DO NOT LOVE IT OR THAT IT ISN’T AMAZING. Ahem. Disclaimer over. This was the first album, figuring stuff out and getting their name out there. It doesn’t have the polish of more recent recording techniques or the wisdom from years of experience of what’s going to resonate with people. It’s young. It’s raw. It’s reckless and edgy in that I’m-in-my-early-20’s-and-trying-to-be-grown-up way. It’s mouthy and sexual at times (Shallow Bay, No Games). It’s strange and weird at some points. (Skin, Sugarcoat, Natural Life, Polyamorous, I’m looking at all of you). But it has a lot of strength. From | out of the ground, I rise to grace; nobody knows it’s just a phase | to | come and take my breath away, look me straight in the face | to | what I want from this world, what I want to resolve: well, I want you to stay, so I want you to wait | to | you said you’d love to see the end; the long, hard road that I have been | to that soaring triumph at the close of shallow bay, | you live, you learn, you’ll live | as the guitars fade and the strings sing for the last few seconds. The building rumble and screeches and melody of Natural Life. The long slow hand drum intro to Phase. The cheery pace and melody of Skin. The stripped back, questioning, Forever. There’s a lot of bright moments and beautiful details, but the biggest thing about it is all the potential it reeks of. It’s a solid album and deserves more love. 7/10

We Are Not Alone - 2004FORGET IT!!!! EVERYONE STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING AND GO LISTEN TO IT IT’S SO BEAUTIFUL!!!A more than satisfying successor to Saturate’s potential, WANA showcases the maturity Ben’s songwriting has achieved in just two short years. Every song was written with the same amount of intent - he doesn’t write singles and then filler, he writes every song to be single-worthy and then cherry picks the singles out of the bunch, and the quality-centric approach is evident. The cold selfish rage of Believe, the detached broken-heartedness of Break My Fall, Sooner Or Later, Away, the soft folded up sadness in Forget It and Rain, the driving desperation of So Cold, the self-deprecation of Firefly….| Cold am I; I’m beside myself because there’s no one else | | I’ll be there for you till my heart is black and blue | | is it you I want, or just the notion of a heart to wrap around so I can find my way around? || and now I find you’ve left me behind, I don’t know what to say, so never mind || never mind, forget it, there’s nothing to lose but my mind and all the things I wanted |It’s very good and very solid. A lovely album. Not quite through with it’s mouthiness, the sexual edges toned down a bit more, everyone knew they were going places with this album. As a whole it has a coldness to it. It’s a dark picture of life it paints, but it does so in beautiful, if sometimes somewhat sloppy, strokes. And, well. To be human is to be messy. WANA is, at its heart, a very human album. 9/10

Phobia - 2006Their big break!! The album most fans discovered them through, many of whom swear they never have and never will top it. Phobia begins a recurring theme of touching on mythical ideas, sprinkling angels (evil ones, in this case) and the devil as characters in the familiar, gritty, determined narrative. Driving and melodic music and snappy drum tracks carry some of Ben’s best vocals yet along on a sweet sweet ride. It’s not as dark as WANA or as immature as Saturate, displaying a bit more hopefulness and intention to carry on despite the difficulty and pain, and the last bits of overtly sexual themes play themselves out in Topless, a song from 2002 that never made it onto previous records. It’s gripping and cohesive and sonically just a pleasure. The iconic The Diary of Jane and Breath, the steadfast Until the End and Unknown Soldier, the rage of Had Enough, the brokenness of Here We Are, You, and You Fight Me, the desperation of Evil Angel and Dance With the Devil. It’s a wonderful album and deserves all the love. | forgive me, my love; I stand here all alone and I can see the bottom | | hiding, betrayal, driving the nail, hoping to find a savior || so clever, whatever, I’m done with these endeavors || flat on my lonely face I fell, finding in the end, I live well || it only hurts just once; they’re only broken bones || I believe in you; I can show you that I can see right through all your empty lies |Fantastic 9/10

Dear Agony - 2009IT’S MY ALBUM!!! MY BIRTHDAY ALBUM, MY LOVE LIKE NO OTHER!!! (Okay so yes you could make an argument that this is indeed my favorite. And I would probably agree, but I’d feel really bad about it because all of them are good!!! Most flat out fantastic!!!! DA just holds a really special place in my heart that nothing can ever displace.)It’s tight, it’s sound, it’s cohesive and raw and all the growth of the previous albums honed to perfection. It’s a masterpiece. It’s beauty, rage, and heartbreak. It’s so cold and emotional. From the sharp anger of Crawl, Lights Out, and What Lies Beneath, to the hopelessness of Hopeless (hehe) and Fade Away and Dear Agony, the grief of Anthem of the Angels and Give Me a Sign, the indomitable will of I Will Not Bow and Into the Nothing, the catharsis and mourning of Without You. This one has it all.| falling forever, chasing dreams; I brought you to life so I can hear you scream || all in all, you’re no good; you don’t cry like you should || days go on forever, but I have not left your side; we can chase the dark together, if you go then so will I || stay with me, you’re all I have left, I know we can make it out alive || now you wanna take me down, as if I even care; I am the monster in your head ||no longer the lost, no longer the same || holding the hand that holds me down; I forgive you, forget you, the end | | carry me to heavens arms, light the way and let me go, take the time to take my breath, I will end where I began |In conclusion, go buy it and force it in your ears right now 11/10

Dark Before Dawn - 2015I waited FIVE YEARS for this. FIVE Y E A R S. And it was worth every minute. DBD has huge nostalgia/dream come true status for me that it will never lose. I was there for this one. I experienced everything going on around it and there’s nothing like the first time. It’s a solid album, the theme of the title played out wonderfully with the intro and outro tracks, Dark and Dawn respectively. This album incorporates a new element, a feeling in the music I can’t think of any other way to describe than as spiritual/uplifting. This element even gets lyrical recognition in the marked departure from their usual style, Ashes of Eden, as well as in The Great Divide and Defeated. The anthemic Failure, Angels Fall, and Never Again, the brokenness of Hollow and Close To Heaven, the pain of Bury Me Alive and the clunky, bright Breaking the Silence. It’s a lovely album given cohesion by the fine details. The intro track is a compelling slow song into soft moans and a trademark roar over echoey tapes of a man describing the human response to rage, fear, and pain. The outro track starts with the soft pattering of a recording of his infant son’s heartbeat, followed by gentle vocalization from Ben and his wife. The album art is a solar eclipse against an ocean, a tiny island barely visible in the crashing water; in the clouds in the dark where the moon blocks out the sun, you can see the outline of Ben’s son’s sonogram. It begins in a dark place and ends in bliss. It’s the happy ending we’ve all been dreaming of after a life of struggle. It’s full of love and beauty for all the pain in the music itself. It’s a precious thing.| I’m coming home; release me, my love | | we bury the sunlight || I’m chasing the righteous, becoming a part of you || never surrender, out of the embers, save a space inside for me || are you with me after all? Why can’t I hear you? || stay alive; heaven holds a place for us tonight | | divided, I will stand, and I will let this end || leave all the lost souls behind; show us we’re worth forsaking |Absolutely incredible 10/10

Ember - 2018Okay so I wasn’t so excited about this album for a number of reasons. One being I have been way too busy to pay a lot of attention and the songs they released before the album as a whole were good but not quite what I was hoping for, another being the betrayal and loss of a close friend and the association of her with the thing we both loved and became friends because of. So I judged it rather unfairly at first. BUT on hearing the album as a whole the first time all that was blown out of the water. It’s absolutely beautiful and it both breaks my heart and makes me stronger. The heartbreaking out of left field piano and thunder track, The Dark of You, moved me near to tears. Tourniquet and Down fill me up with rage and determination to conquer the things that have held me down these last months. The sheer desolation of Feed the Wolf and Red Cold River, the strangely optimistic Torn In Two, Psycho, and Open Your Eyes, the self-destructive Blood. Some people complain that it’s too repetitive in terms of things they’ve done before but I would like to again remind everyone that there are now, with this album, four people who are not Benjamin who are trying to write Breaking Benjamin songs. Of course they’re drawing off older themes. They’re trying to be true to the sound and they’ve done an amazing job and honestly all of you need to shut up and stop being so ungrateful. Give them some time to figure out how to be more “original” while keeping in line with the core of what Breaking Benjamin is. This album is still amazing and is one for the books.| and now the weak that fall, return to ash, defeated after all || I will fight this war for you, and let the dawn of love survive | | I can’t feel anything at all; this love has led me to the end || carry me o’er the ground, heavy won’t hold me down || love will tie the tourniquet and suffocate me || I am the warm embracing || and all that I regret, I have before, I will again || with my dying breath, I keep this prayer alive |Go buy it RIGHT NOW!!?!! 10/10

In conclusion: *screams endlessly into the void* I’M A MESS AND CANNOT MAKE DECISIONS. EVERYTHING IS AMAZING I AM JUST OVERWHELMED BY ALL OF IT. NEVER ASK ME THIS QUESTION AGAIN (unless you want another rant/review post, in which case, please do!)

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ualscout · 5 years

Text

Captain’s Log: 16 Triggers II

Communication

24-27/09/18

The 16 prompts continued...

9: Recreate the moment after…………..…

Alright, I’m really not proud of myself for this one. I couldn’t think of anything, so I drew a picture of a shattered window from the inside looking out onto a kid with a baseball bat and a look of shock and terror. This is a universal “oh shit” moment, which I think most people can relate to on some degree even if it isn’t baseball. I used the window to frame the kid and put him at the center of attention, and by using the window as a frame I also added focal layers to the sketch.

(The universal feeling when rolling a nat1, or a critical fail)

After I did it I thought of a ton of different ideas though. Like rolling a nat1 in a Dungeons and Dragons game when everything is on the line. Or closing out of a program/having a program crash and realizing you forgot to save. Or saving and forgetting you just saved so you save again. I dunno, I thought of better stuff but didn’t have enough time to go back and fix it because I just didn’t have time. Let’s just say the kid rolled a nat1 or something?

10: Reconfigure a newspaper

Y’all know Brexit? Yeah? Cool.

Anyways, I’ve always been encouraged to be aware of the world by my high school social studies teacher. I get news updates on my phone and all that. I gotta say, the world is depressing. When you’re constantly getting updates on the next mass shooting or stabbing or acid attack or stupid thing politics did, it’s hard to stay positive, but it’s kinda necessary to be aware and look at it with as little emotion as possible. It kinda feels like a ball and chain anchor.

(Pics of the ball and chain hanging from door)

So I represented that feeling by making a literal ball and chain out of newspaper about Brexit. Then, on the chains, I wrote

“Calling the world from isolation, ‘cause right now that’s the ball where we be chained”

from Humility by Gorillaz, which is about Brexit. The biggest project out of the prototypes, definitely. I did the installation first then documented it in my sketchbook.

11: Apologise for a mistake (visually)

This one was really hard because in order to apologize, you need a mistake. By nature, this needs some kind of narrative behind it that you can’t use words for and ideally want in one panel. Some boring ways of doing this could be helping someone up after tripping, or patching up something that broke, or WAIT.

I thought of something better- someone being stabbed through the heart by someone they love while being hugged by said person. Angst central… why didn’t I think of that earlier…?

Anyways, I did something kinda boring…

I made a confession box. I kept the statement vague. People could accept the apology, deny the apology, apologize for something they did and feel bad for, etc. I did it because I wanted to use the cardboard I brought lol. It ended up getting tossed by someone, so… whoops.

12: Record what another student is doing

Someone was passed out at their desk lol. I hope they’re doing alright. They seemed tired and kept sniffling. I just kinda scanned the classroom and saw them, basically taking the easy way out. Didn’t take a picture of them because that would be kinda creepy.

13: Make a path for others to follow

(How can the thread be red if it’s invisible?)

There’s this superstition about everyone having a red thread tied around their pinky that’s connected to someone else’s pinky and that person is their soulmate. You just need to follow the thread, which is harder than it sounds… I wanted to make an animation or something based off of that. It would follow two ends of the string, winding through the city and terrain, and watch the characters pick up and manage the amounts of red string they find along the way. I’d want this to be a music video, ideally to “Little Talks” by Of Monsters and Men or “One Red Thread” by Blind Pilot. I did some sketches in my book- the characters and everything would be simple marker sketches while the only color is the red thread.

… but I ended up displaying a meme option. One of my favorite emotes is OwO and it looks very demonic when you fill in the eyes with darkness. So I drew the emote normally, then blinking, then opening to darkness to the words “We all have demons, and sometimes they win.” This is 100000% a meme and shouldn’t be taken seriously, despite what my tutor thinks… Anyways, the path to follow was the path to your inner demons.

14: Add something extra

Do you guys have chipotle here? Well, guac is always extra. I don’t like guac personally, but it seems like something that can be put into other food things to disgust people. For instance: an ice-cream cone, a pom pom, a snowball, etc. I didn’t really have any good ideas, just that…

15: Making a drawing without touching a pen

… Okay.

(Fountain pen for flare and sarcasm)

I didn’t touch a pen, I did touch a pencil though. I drew a fountain pen and wrote “no” in pen because it was funny. Sometimes it be like that, chief. I think it’s funny because the pen is so carefully drawn and sketched in a pencil style, then you just have “no” there. Again, I just do things to try and be funny.

16: Make a neglected place loved

The first thing that came to mind was a grave made markless after being out and exposed to the elements for so long.

(Like this- creepy and generic)

And that got me thinking about how that’s the last thing holding their physical body to the mortal plane. Their body is there, there is likely evidence of their existence, but no one will ever know for sure. The memory of them and the physicality of their body are completely disconnected. Not to mention these graves are so old they’re likely not visited or cared for in the same way recent graves are, they’re not remembered. I wanted to do something to make them remember…

… but then I decided to just make haunted shit. I like the idea of fixing and renovating even if it takes away some of the personality of the house. I think it’s like a reset, like painting the walls in a rental or getting a tattoo. But what if the house didn’t want to be remembered? What if someone wanted it to stay the same…?

Enter the song “O Green World” by Gorillaz. It sounds like a person washing windows in a slasher film. I like the idea of following an unaware protagonist and following the narrative through the windows, like some of the other pieces I did in the past (see Scene Change: No Story Time and prompt #9). I kinda just drew a basic concept, but it would take place in a haunted house and the characters would interact with the different sets inside.

BONUS: ZINE!!!

I swear to God when the tutors were briefing us on the zine I felt my heart beating with anticipation. I wanted SO. BADLY. To do this. Ideas started racing through my head and I felt my hands jitter as ideas raced through my head. A zine is the perfect way to tell a story and boy do I have stories to tell.

I thought through a bunch of ideas, like doing something about Mothman, explaining the story behind Haakon’s banishment, doing something about The Adventure Zone, but I realized I could tell a cohesive story by just making it like a textbook. I took from the prompt first prompt, recreating and object from my past. Again, not my past.

This is the past of Bo Phadez and Sandman. My first long-term DND character met an elemental golem the first session of the game, shoved a handful of ash into its receptacle, and unfittingly named it Sandman. Sandman went through a whole character arc with Bo during the game, with them nearly getting blown up in the pursuit of an infinite power supply. The Game Master threatened killing him multiple times… but he knew I’d make him regret it. Sandman remains my favorite thing to have come out of my misadventures in DnD yet.

Time was short, so I had to act quick. I wrote the lines as if they were part of an SCP file or a textbook. That way, even if the reader didn’t understand the crazy world the story took place in (jumping from a desert planet to a space opera with nukes and guns in a page with characters pulled out of a Russian version of Lord of the Rings. I used a brush pen to make bold and quick lines.

As I drew, I realized I spent less and less time for each page… I just knew how to make the characters look how I wanted. I know pencil was banned, but I used it for putting down lines, and at some point I just stopped and went with the pen. I had a lot of fun considering the different blocking and ways to compose the screen, as well as making the text fit in the frame. I played with colors a bit, making sure to use them to show how Sandman was changing forms and powers without fully doing it. To make full use of the frames, I cut the paper so I could glue the backs of the pages together so I wouldn’t have to deal with creases while I drew.

Honestly, making this zine gave me an epiphany. I want to draw like this for the rest of my life. I love designing the characters and getting to know their designs well enough to do them quickly and expressively. This certainly wasn’t my best work, but it was the quickest one with the best results and the most pride in my work.

I really wanted to pursue this more.

This was the moment I decided I wanted to specialize in animation.

---

In conclusion, I think I make art for reactions. I.e. whenever I had trouble thinking of deep connections that I would actually care about I tried to go for comedy or sarcasm. I don’t know why, but maybe it’s because I’m an entertainer at heart. I really enjoyed doing all these miniprojects. It’s like throwing pasta at the wall and seeing what sticks. This kind of format lets me really stretch my thinking style because I didn’t care too much about making sure the end product was perfect- I just wanted good ideas and had fun with it! Some prompts came slower than others, but I always figured something out.

#log entries #part I: diagnostic #trigger: 16 prompts

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thewildpeanut-blog1 · 7 years

Text

Hello dear friends!

As I am leaving for a short trip to Copenhagen in a few day I figured out: “Hey why don’t you write a post about packing?”. It may seem weird to share such a thing but believe me, I used to be the worst packer EVER always forgetting important things and on the other hand taking useless stuffs with me.

“Come on you’re going on a trip to Denmark you don’t need that extra beach towel ‘just in case’! And why on Earth would you take 5 outfits with you? You’re just leaving for a 3 days!”

This is the kind of situations that could have happened to me not so long ago…

I packed wayyy too many things when I went to Italy and definitely way too few when I went to the north sea last summer on the first situation it wasn’t that much of a big deal but on the second one I basically didn’t check the weather and I just had one sweater for two weeks and the weather was actually freezing cold so… Let’s just say a lot of really stressful and uncomfortable situations could have been avoided if I had read such an article before packing but you know what? I learned from my mistakes and I basically became sort of a professional packer since then so I hope some of the tips are going to be helpful to you.

I’ll also give you a link to download a free PDF packing checklist at the end of the post to make sure you never forget anything ever again! ;)

Okay let’s get into this!

1. Make a cohesive capsule wordrobe.

This especially applies to those of you that are going on a longer vacation like for two weeks or so. I highly recommend you lay every single outfit you’ve picked on your bed and make sure the colors pair well together and that you will actually be able to mix and match your outfits. And also try to take only one pair of shoes that goes with everything and wear it on the plane (or add one more dressed-up pair if you plan on going out). I personally chose a color palette that mainly consists of grays, blacks, whites and nudes (You’re so basic Matilda!) and I think you should stick to basic colors and add one accent color to your outfit palette to make sure you never go wrong :).

Trust me that tip is a must! That will make you avoid overpacking cardigans and jackets and overall simplify your life during the trip.

(yes you may recognize these bed sheets from Ikea I feel like everyone has them)

2. Make a checklist.

This one guys is a life saver! Checklists are kind of an obsession of mine I basically have one for everything. Some of them might actually sound irrelevant to you (my sports-bag checklist, by backpack checklist for when I have a sleepover, my step by step cleaning checklist and so on…) but this one is clearly a must because if you make it in advance you’ll just have to go through it when you make your suitcase and check the items once you’ve packed them. But it’s also really important that you list absolutely everything in it this way when you have to re-pack your suitcase at the end of your trip you’ll just have to make sure you’re not forgetting anything by checking it again (and don’t forget to add your new purchases in it as well). And believe me I learned how important they were the hard way because I basically used to forget something in the hotel every time I travelled… Plus they come quite handy when it comes to avoid overpacking because when you try and pack a suitcase without a checklist you tend to throw everything you see in your suitcase even though that might not be as useful as you think.

So I’ll leave a free packing checklist PDF that contains basically the things that you need when you go on a trip right here. Of course mine won’t probably be the same as yours but I just wanted to give you an idea of what it should look like so feel free to print it and use it for your own suitcase :)

3. Four-Wheel suitcase.

Okay this one is just a little tip that really simplify my life in airports and stuffs. In the past I had this two-wheels suitcase from which one of the wheels wasn’t actually able to roll for some unknown reason and it was a nightmare to transport it and when my father handed me his four-wheel one it truly was a relief (that’s probably why I’m recommending a four wheel suitcase but basically try not to take a broken one and that’ll do the job just fine I just prefer four-wheels one :) )

4. Check the weight of your carry-on suitcase BEFORE leaving otherwise you want be able to take your suitcase with you on board and you’ll have to spend some extra money to register it as a checked luggage.

5. Make your suitcase look unique.

You don’t know how many people have the same plain black suitcase and I’m pretty sure you don’t want anyone to mistake your suitcase for theirs.So put on a nice bright luggage tag, some cool stickers or whatever you want but make it unique to prevent that kind of unpleasant situation from happening. This especially applies to checked luggage because you’ll quickly be able to spot your suitcase on the baggage belt at the end of your flight.

6. Put some piece of identity INSIDE of your suitcase.

Anything from a business card to an old piece of paper with your name, phone number and address written on it. In case it gets lost, the luggage tag falls off or someone unintentionally takes it you’ll be happy to have it returned to you ;)

7. Screen shot your travel documents to make sure you always have them with you on your phone.

8. E-mail yourself a picture of both sides of your ID in case yours get lost. (this is a really important trick guys)

9. Wear heavier pieces of clothing on the plane.

Your big coat, chunky sweater, hat, scarf, pant and boots should be worn on the plane instead of lighter jackets, t-shirts, skirts and sneakers because first of all you’ll have way more room in your suitcase and flights tend to be a bit chilly so that’s win win!

10. Lay your bulky clothes as flat as possible in the suitcase (again to save space) then flip them over the rest like so:

11. Roll your clothes.

You probably have seen this trick before. I feel like everyone knows about it but just in case I’m just leaving it here. This will prevent wrinkling if done well and will also save space. I personally didn’t roll my clothes as you will see in the pictures but that’s because I’m just leaving for 3 days so I really don’t have that much to pack but I would totally recommend it if you have to pack more outfits ;)

12. Uses purses, or packing cubes.

That way everything will be nicely organized into your suitcase and this won’t be a huge mess! I highly recommend using packing cubes, unfortunately I couldn’t get a hand on some before my trip but they are truly amazing so if you can get them they’ll be a great help.

13. Carry a medical purse with you.

I swear you’ll be happy to have some blister plasters with you because chances are you’ll be walking a lot while on a vacation and you don’t want your feet to hurt the whole time. Put some band aids, alcohol-impregnated pads, pain killers, medicine that you might be taking, throat pastilles and for girls birth-control pill in a little designated pouch. Those are just essentials that you truly want to carry with you wherever you go believe me.

14. Carry on a fold away bag or a laundry bag to separate your dirty clothes from the rest of your suitcase and do the same for shoes because you don’t want the rest of your suitcase to get dirty and stinky.

15. Put a dryer’s sheet inside of your suitcase on top of your clothes to keep them fresh and prevent any smell.

16. Have a tech bag!

To carry all you tech items and cords organized in it. To keep your cords organized I highly recommend using either binder clips or elastics so that they don’t get all tangly. Oh and don’t forget to take a portable battery charger with you ;)

17.If you plan on going to the beach switch your traditional beach towel for a turkish towel not only it will take less room in your suitcase but it will also dry way faster in case it gets wet.

18. Stick your socks inside of your shoes again to save space and to prevent the shoes from losing their shape.

19. Protect your toiletries and makeup.

First of all I would recommend you put any eyeshadow palette (or whatever makeup palette really) between two sweaters in your suitcase instead of your makeup bag. The sweaters will protect the palette from any shock and prevent breakage. Another trick to protect your compacts is to put a cotton pad in them and then close the lid.

To prevent your liquids from leaking you can open the cap, put on some cling wrap and put the cap back on that way that won’t get any chance to spill all over the makeup bag ;)

20. Spray your perfume directly on your clothes.

Because most of the time the perfume bottle are too big. You have the choice either to buy one of those mini perfume containers or to directly spray your perfume on your clothes before you actually pack them.

21. Bring some chewing gum with you on the plane.

That’s my last tip and it doesn’t have anything to do with packing but on the plane you sometimes get earache because of the air pressure change that usually happens when the plane descends to land.

Some of you might not experience it but I do most of the time and a simple trick to relieve the pain is simply to chew gum. But if it’s like a really bad pain then you should probably get some antihistamine tablets from your local pharmacy :)

There it is guy! Those were my carry on packing tips and hacks. I hope you liked it and found some of them useful :)

I’ll be back tomorrow with more recipes but I wanted to share something different with you because I don’t want my blog to be all about cooking. I don’t want to be stuck doing only one categories of posts what I truly want is to be able to share the things that I find interesting or things that make me happy whatever the subject may be. So even though those kind of posts require a bit more time to be put together I’ll definitely be sharing more lifestyle related content over here in addition to my cooking posts. I truly hope you’re going to find this new content interesting!

I wish you all an amazing day/evening and I’ll see you all tomorrow for more adventures ;)

Don’t forget to leave a little sparkle wherever you go :) Thank you all for visiting my blog I’m truly grateful for that <3

21 carry on packing hacks and tips Hello dear friends! As I am leaving for a short trip to Copenhagen in a few day I figured out: "Hey why don't you write a post about packing?".

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