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#I could scream about RENT and what I hate about it forever
buckyhad · 6 months
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Forever
Pairing: Dark!Carlos Sainz x reader
Warnings: NC thats it, based on this request!
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Carlos was the sweetest boyfriend you have ever had, caring, tending to your needs, loving.
Until he got jealous, every little interaction between you and another men was a reason for him to lash out at you. Nothing serious, it was normal for your boyfriend to feel that way sometimes.
Except that time went he took it a little too far.
"That's the dress you are wearing tonight?" Carlos asked furrowing his brows.
"You don't like it?" You asked a little bit sad, tonight was another gala with the drivers about something you didn't remember anymore, choosing a red long dress, with a low cut and a high slit that you loved.
"Yes, I like it, but you are showing a lot" he said.
"Its just a part of my leg".
"Whatever" you knew he was already working himself up so you just decided to leave it there, thinking that going to the gala and getting some drinks in his system would help him calm down.
But you were so wrong.
You two arrived at the place an hour before, Carlos got some strong drink while you choosed some water, Carlos hated when you drinked.
Alone in some corner while Carlos was at the bar again, waiting for his order, when Charles, Carlos' teammate went to say hi to you, making Carlos start to march where you to were happily chatting, getting there just in time.
"I really like how that dress looks on you" Charles said touching the strap of your dress.
"Thanks you, I love the colour a lot" you said blushing a little bit, taking a step back from the monagesque.
"I know, she looks so nice" Carlos said with his hands on the pockets of his pants "We are going amor, grab your things".
---------
"That's why you used that dress? So you would get compliments from Leclerc?" Was the first thing he said when you got to the hotel.
"No! I really liked how it looks on me!".
"Stop lying!" He said grabbing your arm.
"The fuck is wrong with you" you screamed at him trying to get of his grip.
"You know how much I love you, why do you need to flirt with other guys?"
"I wasn't flirting" you whispered "I'm going to go now, let me go, please".
"I'm sorry amor, I didn't mean to grab you, I'm just so mad" he said looking at you with those pretty big brown eyes "Please, no te vayas (don't go)".
"I just need some time, to think you know".
"Te amo (I love you)".
"I know" you said closing the door and making your way out.
-------
You rented a small apartment on Spain, wanting to be alone for a week, not talking or seeing Carlos.
But he had other plans, leaving at least 50 missed calls per day and thousands of unread messages.
-----
By the fifth day without knowing anything about him, someone knoked on your door, being as tired as you were lately, you just opened the door without looking.
Feeling a hand on your mouth while the person closed the door you felt their breath by your ear.
"You need to be more careful, someone could hurt you" Carlos said.
You tried to take his hand off while he was pushing you towards the table.
"I'm going to take my hand off, you better not start screaming" he said and chuckled "At least not yet".
"What are you doing" you started crying, feeling how his hand pushed your upper half onto the table, and hold you there, while his other hand pushed your dress up and your panties down.
"Read your texts with Charles, 'I'm so sorry that you fighted with Carlos, I'm here if you need anything'" he recited while starting to get his tip wet with some spit.
"Please, he just wanted to be nice. You've lost your mind" you cried feeling how he pushed inside you "Carlos you know I'm not in anything, pull out. Please" got out between sobs.
"Well, you would be mine forever now".
A/N: I'm sososo sorry this took so long, I've been studying for an exam (went sl fucking wrong) and now I've another one, anyways, FORZA FERRARI SEMPRE, happy Carlos won today, sad how they didn't listen to Charles AGAIN
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damiansgoodgirll · 6 months
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i can’t find the request but i do remember someone asking me to write jude bellingham breaking up with reader because he changed so here we go!
jude bellingham x reader
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you’ve changed
“what you mean you need space?” you asked him with tears in your eyes.
“i mean i need space…i need to focus on my career and i can’t do that if you’re here all the time, i need to stay alone and i need my time to rest and i can’t do it with you here…” he spoke, his eyes never meeting you le teary ones, too ashamed to confess he was being a dick.
“but why? i - i told you that i could rent my own place, i don’t need to live with you” you tried to resonate with him.
“it’s not just that…” he had no excuses. he didn’t love you anymore but he didn’t know how to say it.
“then what? jude i can’t recognize you anymore…what did you do? did you cheat? did you cheat and your too coward to admit it?” you asked, completely mad.
he wished it was like that. he wished he cheated just so you could hate him. but here you were, trying to save something that couldn’t be saved.
jude knew that your relationship was long gone but he had no idea how to say it to your face. to the person who sacrificed everything just to follow him in madrid when he joined last summer. the person who said goodbye to her family just so you could be with him. the person who was going on and off to london to see her friends because she didn’t want to leave jude alone.
he knew this was fucked up but he couldn’t explain it.
“i didn’t cheat…” he said not even showing emotions in his voice.
“then did you meet someone? you want me to break up with you so you could go to her?” you started asking him million questions and you had every right of it.
“there’s no one else! i promise you…”
“so why are you doing this?” you cried “four years of relationship jude, and you’re going to throw all away because of what?” you couldn’t believe of what he was saying.
“because i need my space!”
“i’ll fucking give you space if that’s what you need! i’ll move out, i’ll go back to london if you don’t wanna see me here, i just need to understand what is that you really need…why are you doing this?” you ended up screaming.
“i can’t…” he knew that you were going to cry even more and he hated seeing you crying, he hated knowing that he was the one who was making you cry right now.
but you had every right to know.
“you’ve changed jude…i barely recognize you…you’ve changed and i’m not the only one who’s noticing this, your family, your friends…i don’t even know you anymore” you confessed.
you started to hate his new personality.
parties all summer, almost forgetting your birthday night, not coming to your brother’s graduation, hell, being too busy for your fourth anniversary.
but no matter what, you always forgave him.
him and his poor excuses, you wanted to stay positive and think that everything was going to be good.
“i don’t love you anymore” he said.
no regrets.
you looked at him in the eyes and moved closer to his body.
“say it again but look me in the eyes next time” you challenged him.
“i - i don’t love you anymore y/n…i don’t have feelings for you no more” he said. a tear running down his cheek, not because he was sorry, but because he knew you were in pain because of him. he didn’t love you anymore but that didn’t mean he didn’t care about you. he still cared about you and he will always care about you.
you were his first love. his first kiss. his first time. but sometimes first things aren’t meant to last forever.
you were shocked when you heard those words again.
“i’ll leave and i’ll come back when you’re at practice to pack all of my stuff…” you didn’t even look him in the eyes, too hurt to show him any sign of respect.
you couldn’t believe it was over, not after everything you’ve been through.
but it was.
and it was hurting you more than you ever thought.
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enmayz · 8 months
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Whispers From My Heart (pt.2) - Won (양정원)
Do you believe in fate? If you were asked this question 2 years ago, you would've said no. But now, you're not so sure. ꒰ wc: 5.5k ꒱
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[pairing] brother's best friend! jungwon x fem! reader [genre] brother's best friend trope, unrequited love, coming-of-age, fluff, slow burn [warnings] cursing
read part 1 here
your bookshelf 📓✧˖°.
“I have a secret.”
When people think about their job, the first things that come to mind are their demanding boss, the clock on the wall that drags on, and that coworker who always gossips and never works. To sum it all up: stress.
But it was different for Jungwon. 
While people around him would hate having to wake up at 6 am every day to get ready and drive to work in the heavy, bumper-to-bumper traffic or have to get squashed against the window like sardines in a crowded train, Jungwon didn’t mind.
He loved getting up in the morning to water his plants, feed his Birman cat as she curled up around his ankle, and eat breakfast as he scrolled through the daily news. Most of all, he loved his job. 
Making desserts and pastries started as a way for Jungwon to take his mind off his family situation when he was younger. But as time went on, it evolved into something more than that. It became a hobby that eventually blossomed into a dream. 
He had been working at his current job for a little over a year now. It was a cute family-owned cafe near his old job that he came across one day while he was scarfing down his lunch on the side of the street. The sign on the door that read “hiring!” was practically screaming at Jungwon. 
He had been in desperate need to find a job since his monthly rent was almost due, and his last job was a total nightmare. Working 13-hour shifts, seven days a week, delivering food on a motorcycle proved too much for Jungwon. Paired with the constant mistreatment from his boss, making him work overtime with no compensation, and the difficult customers, it was too much to handle. 
The final straw for Jungwon was when a customer threw a scalding bowl of soup at Jungwon because he had gotten there too late. He had tried to explain that there had been an accident in the middle of the road and that was the reason for his delay. Not only did Jungwon get his clothes dirty and burnt, but his boss screamed at him for 30 minutes while he bowed continuously. The cost of the meal was even taken out of Jungwon’s hard-earned paycheck that could barely get him by.
Even though Jungwon desperately needed money, he had dignity and self-respect. So the next day, he called his boss, telling her that he was done. Enough was enough. 
Now his dream is to save up enough money to open his own cafe so that he can do the thing that he loves forever. 
Out of his right back pocket, Jungwon pulled out his phone to check the time, 6:31 am. Right on schedule, he had about ten more minutes before he had to walk to the nearby subway station to catch his train to work.
With a hint of hesitation, his finger hovered over the messaging app before giving in and tapping on it. He swiped down past his coworkers and boss, skipping over Sunoo’s name, and finally stopped. It hadn’t been long since he changed your contact from little sis to Y/N, although the alteration feels somewhat pointless since you had stopped replying to him or even reading his messages. But even still, he found himself lingering over your contact every single day. 
Today was no different. His message from 6 months ago was still left unread, much like with the 20 other messages before that. 
A sharp pang of disappointment jabs at his heart, he should be used to it now, but it never gets easier. 
Jungwon wondered what had happened. 
From what he remembered, you guys left on a good note. He never went back to your house to visit after he moved back to his hometown to take care of his family problems, but it wasn’t like he vanished without a word. He had called your family to deliver the news, and he remembers saying goodbye to you. But you only responded with an “Okay, take care.” 
Back then, Jungwon hadn’t thought anything of it, but now, thinking back, he couldn’t shake the feeling that he might have offended you in some way.
Over time, you had become a very close friend to him. You comforted him when his father was diagnosed with cancer. You showed genuine care and concern without any judgment about his background or circumstances and didn’t pity him like his other classmates. Your whole family was his savior, and it really saddened him that you two were no longer in contact. At some point, you had stopped replying to him, not even responding to his birthday or holiday wishes to you.
Jungwon accepted it, but he still found himself checking, just in case. 
The walk to the subway today felt different. There was an indefinable shift in the atmosphere that Jungwon couldn’t quite put his finger on. Everything seemed a little brighter, and the people around him seemed a little happier. It’s like that feeling you have when it’s a national holiday, and everyone is excited to participate in the festivities of the season. 
But today was no holiday. It was a weird feeling, but Jungwon shook it off and continued walking towards the subway station. 
It was a normal occurrence for the subway to be crowded with people, especially around 7 am, with everyone trying to get to work or school. 
But, yet again, today was different. If Jungwon moved one step to the left, he would accidentally step on the grandma next to him, or if he stepped back, he would step onto the wheels of a child stroller. 
The subway was jampacked, filled with the usual commuters hurrying to their destinations, but Jungwon also saw new faces. Ones that looked around, some in awe, while others in confusion. 
Jungwon turned to the elderly lady standing next to him and asked, “Good morning, Grandmother.” the older woman turned towards him slowly with a nod and a gentle smile, which Jungwon returned before continuing, “Do you happen to know what’s happening today? Why are there so many people?”
The grandmother’s face scrunched up in confusion, suggesting she might have a hard time hearing him, which prompted Jungwon to kindly repeat his question, leaning a bit closer this time to ensure she could hear him clearly.
“Ah! Yes! We’re having a conjoined parade with the city next to us because we recently helped them fix that one big bridge that broke…what was it called again?” The grandmother’s face once again scrunched up in confusion as she turned her brain inside out, trying to remember. “The…uhh…I’m afraid I don’t really remember,” she concluded, looking away while scratching her head. 
Jungwon smiles, offering a slight bow of gratitude to the kind lady before turning his attention back to the front. Now it made sense why there were so many people who looked confused. They’re probably lost. Jungwon would be, too, if he were stuck in the middle of a crowded subway in a new city. 
Amidst the hustle and bustle, the loudspeaker suddenly blared, a woman’s voice ringing through the station. Jungwon strained his neck to hear her announcement over the crowd.
“Train 2A arriving at station 3 at 6:57 am. Train 2A arriving at station 3 at 6:57 am.”
Jungwon heaved a sigh of relief as he moved with the crowd. They moved like currents in the ocean, pooling into the open doors. In the midst of the chaos, someone behind Jungwon accidentally stepped on the heel of his shoe, causing Jungwon to stumble slightly before finally crashing onto a seat by the window. 
Jungwon wraps his arm around his bag protectively as he settles in, ignoring the rest of the people still scrambling to find a seat. 
Looking out the window, Jungwon can see that the crowd had slightly dissipated a bit after the arrival of the train. Those who were once confused were now determined after finding out the way to their final destination. It was starting to look and feel like every other Tuesday morning. 
Resting his head against the cool glass window, Jungwon allows his gaze to drift downward, observing the passing scenery. The sound of the train doors closing signals its impending departure, and for a moment, the world outside appears to be in motion, just like his thoughts. 
Would things have turned out differently if he hadn’t looked up at that moment as the train was pulling away? Maybe someday in the future, he would’ve regretted this thing that he didn’t even know was about to happen.
But as fate would play out, Jungwon would lift his head up at the last moment. And the world around him seemed to slow to a crawl as he locked eyes with you. 
“Do you believe in fate?”
If you were asked this question two years ago, you would’ve confidently said no. 
But as you stood amidst the bustling crowd, eagerly waiting for your train inside the subway station, your life took a drastic turn. You locked eyes with someone sitting on the train, and at that moment, everything changed. 
The encounter lasted a mere two seconds, but in that fleeting moment, time seemed to stand still. As the train swiftly picked up speed and moved away, you couldn’t tear your eyes away, your mouth parting open in shock. There was no denying it; the boy staring back at you with wide eyes was undoubtedly Jungwon. He had the same innocent look on his face with his big round eyes and cute dimples. 
All of the feelings that you had carefully stored away in your heart came back to the surface the second you saw him again. It was like you never stopped loving him. 
Your heart felt heavy, and a flood of emotions washed over you like a tidal wave as you watched the train become smaller and smaller before finally disappearing from view. The impulse to chase after Jungwon tugged at you, but you quickly gave up that thought. There was no way you could outrun a train and get to the next stop before it. It also wasn’t guaranteed that Jungwon even recognized you. It had been two years. Even if he did recognize you, who’s to say he would get off on the next stop? The doubts and uncertainties weighed heavily on your thoughts, making your desire to pursue him seem utterly ridiculous. 
Plus, the thought of seeing Jungwon and approaching him again left you paralyzed. What would you even say to him after all this time? Admit that you purposely didn’t reply to his messages even though you read every single one over ten times? Maybe if you were stupid enough, you would even accidentally confess your love for him. The thought of that possibly happening made you cringe so hard; you’d rather finish your 20-page research paper on prehistoric art. 
You were a part of the crowd that was visiting for the day for the celebration. After hearing about this event, you finally had an excuse to be in Jungwon’s hometown. At least that’s what you convinced yourself. There were many times in the past when you were close to dropping everything and calling up Jungwon to meet up, but a part of you was always hesitant. And as time went on, it became harder. You lost a reason to even talk to him, let alone meet up and confess your feelings. 
A violent buzz in your pocket snaps you out of your daze. Your hand reaches into your pocket, pulling out your phone. Upon seeing the screen, you smile softly. The picture on the screen was taken 4 years ago when you were still 18, and Jungwon was 23. You both had on a beanie, your noses red from playing in the snow, and you were chucking snowballs at each other. 
A tinge of sadness crept into your smile. You guys were so close, and now here you are, turning off your phone, shoving it back into your pocket, rejecting Jungwon’s call. 
“Call me a coward, but I’m not ready to face this,” you whispered to yourself, taking in a deep breath.
Nothing significant happened after your short encounter with Jungwon at the subway station. Seeing him again felt odd. You were expecting him to look completely different. You had imagined him looking like a middle-aged workman who was unkept because he was too busy worrying about his job. Maybe he would have some slight facial hair and a half-done tie. 
But he looked the same, maybe even better than ever. You hated that. Your heart still raced at the sight of him, even now, as you sat in the lecture hall, thoughts of him lingering in your mind.
Jungwon had texted and called you nonstop in the past few days, but you hadn’t responded to any of them. His text messages were all along the lines of “I know that was you I saw at the subway,” or “Why won’t you talk to me?” and “Did I do something wrong?”
At one point, you thought to yourself, “Heck, what’s the big deal? Why can’t I just tell him that I love him?”
But thank goodness you didn’t let your impulses take over. The consequences were too large, and the risk was too great. After all, Jungwon was your brother’s best friend ever since middle school. Admitting to him that you fell in love with his best friend was asking for a death sentence. Sunoo was already so protective over you. If he found out the guy you liked was his best friend, it would be disastrous. Though Sunoo usually radiated sunshine and rainbows, his anger could make the world feel like it was coming to an end.
As you were lost in your thoughts, you noticed the students around you starting to pack their things as the class came to an end. Letting out a sigh, you began organizing your binder and stowing away your laptop in your backpack. As you zipped it up, you pulled out your phone and dialed your friend’s number. 
The dial tone rang twice before a cheerful voice rang out. “Hey!”
“Hey, Jake. Where are we meeting up later again?” you inquired.
“Oh, don’t worry about it. I’ll meet you outside your dorm around 5,” Jake replied cheerfully, his thick Australian accent adding a friendly touch.
“Sounds good! Also, don’t forget-“ you started.
“-your melona popsicle,” Jake interjected with a chuckle. “Yeah, yeah, already got it!”
With a giggle, you blow a playful kiss toward your phone, “You’re literally the best.”
“Very funny, Y/N,” came Jake’s sarcastic reply. “The only time you say that is when I bring you food.”
“Ha ha…you know I’m only joking…” you playfully pouted. 
“Love you too,” Jake laughed. “Okay, I’ll see you later. Remember to put on sunscreen.”
“Yessir!” you playfully saluted, even though he couldn’t see it over the phone. 
After hanging up, you took your usual five-minute walk through the park to get to your dorm.  The weather was fair today–sunny but not overly heated. The distant chirping of birds and the cheerful chatter of students filled the campus atmosphere.
Since finals had just ended, you and your friends had plans to go roller skating later in the day. So you had to get ready. Wearing a skirt to go roller skating was not ideal. 
Upon opening the door to your dorm, a soothing silence greeted you. Your two roommates were still in class, leaving you to enjoy some quiet time. Glancing at the clock on your desk, it read 4:13. Okay, good, you still had a good chunk of time before meeting up with your friends.
After changing into suitable attire and applying sunscreen as per Mr. Jake Sim’s request, you settled back into your chair. Nervously picking at your nails, you read and reread Jungwon’s last message to you, “Y/N, please. I have something I need to tell you.”
Your eyebrows knit up in confusion. What was there that he so desperately needed to tell you? It’s not like you had any common topics you could talk about. It was probably his witty way of tricking you into talking to him–Jungwon was always a sly one. 
With a heavy sigh, you let your head roll back, allowing the chair to rotate slowly as your mind wanders. Your eyes fixated on the spinning ceiling, and before you knew it, your eyelids fluttered shut as you drifted off into a light slumber. 
“Come on, Y/N! You’re so slow!”
Grumbling, you roll your eyes and retort, “Sunghoon, unlike you, this is my first time skating!”
The tall boy only lets out a laugh as he skates near you, reaching out to grab your arm. “Come on, grandma, let’s get you standing at least.”
Using your sleeve, you wipe across your forehead, collecting all the sweat that had accumulated there. “You liar, you said this would be fun.” 
“It is!” Sunghoon whined. “You just have to get the hang of it. You’re almost there!”
Out of the corner of your eye, you can see Sunghoon trying to hold back a cackle. You shoot him an annoyed look, “Fuck off, do I look like I’m getting the hang of it?!”
Currently, you are bent over with one hand on your shaking knees while Sunghoon holds your other hand. As you struggled to gain balance, you watched as a little girl skated expertly past you two, and you let out an embarrassed grumble as Sunghoon doubled over in laughter. 
“What’re you two laughing about?”
Sunghoon’s eyes brightened at the sight of Jake. “Nothing, just complimenting Y/N for her vogue-worthy pose here,” he snickered. 
Jake raised his eyebrows at you, to which you returned with a glare. 
“You better not start laughing at me, too,” you warned.
“Wasn’t planning on it,” Jake responded, trying to look offended. 
Before you could retort, you winced slightly from the discomfort coming from your feet. Twisting and turning on the wooden floor to gain balance has taken its toll, and now your ankles are burning from the friction caused by the skates. 
Sunghoon noticed your pained expression and gently asserted, “Okay, that’s enough for now,” as he gently tugged you towards a nearby table. “Rest for a bit. We can continue later.”
Relief surged through you as you gratefully sat down, finally relieving the tension off your aching feet. From your seat, you watched as Sunghoon chased after Jake around the skating rink, both of them laughing as Jake was eventually tackled. You smiled fondly at the sight of your friends. Letting out a sigh, you rubbed your hands on your sore ankles. 
As you winced in pain, a shadow suddenly appeared on the ground next to you. A person approached, their form towering over you, catching your attention. The figure kneeled down, and your eyes widened in shock when you realized who it was. 
Jungwon gently loosened the laces on your skates while murmuring, “Be careful. Your skates are too tight.” 
His unexpected presence left you momentarily speechless, but you managed to find your voice, “J-Jungwon? What are you doing here?”
He looked up with a sad smile, his eyes filled with years of unspoken emotions. “Were you ever going to talk to me if I didn’t approach you?” Jungwon asked softly, his vulnerability evident in his voice. 
His question caught you off guard, and you found yourself grappling with your feelings. At that moment, you realized how much had changed since your last interaction, and you couldn’t help the pang of guilt that was eating at your heart. 
Taking a moment to gather your thoughts, you took a gulp before replying, “I…I don't know. Jungwon, I really don’t know.” Your mouth felt dry, and you silently cursed at yourself. That was not what you wanted to say. 
The weight of your unspoken emotions seemed to hang in the air, creating an awkward tension between you. You prayed that Jungwon couldn’t hear your heart panging against your ribcage. 
Jungwon’s sad smile remained, his eyes searching yours as if trying to decipher your thoughts. You looked away because it felt like he could see all the secrets you had kept hidden for all these years. 
“I just…I want things to go back to how they used to be,” you finally managed to add, your voice tinged with vulnerability. “But it’s so much more complicated now.”
Jungwon’s eyebrows knit together in confusion. “What do you mean? It doesn’t have to be complicated. We can go back to how we were,” he pleaded softly. 
Rubbing your hands over your face, you let out a frustrated sigh. “Let’s talk about this outside,” you suggested, wanting to be in a more private area. 
You noticed that Jake and Sunghoon were making their way toward you and Jungwon with a concerned look on their face. Despite your inner turmoil, you managed to shoot them a reassuring smile and a thumbs up, signaling that you were fine and there wasn’t a problem. 
Jungwon followed after you in silence, and the awkwardness seemed to linger like an invisible cloud. Once outside, neither of you knew how to break the silence that had settled between you. 
You winced and absently kicked your foot against the concrete, watching as a rock skipped two times before coming to a stop. The sound of the rock hitting the ground echoed in the air, mirroring the uncertainty in your heart. You knew there were things that needed to be said, feelings that had to be acknowledged, but finding the right words was proving to be a challenge. 
How do you casually tell Jungwon you are in love with him without risking him hating you?
Finally, Jungwon took a deep breath and spoke softly, “I’m sorry if suddenly appearing in front of you caught you off guard. I didn’t mean to make things awkward between us.”
“It’s fine,” you mumbled, unable to meet his gaze.
“So…uhm, how have you been?”
You took a moment to compose yourself. You were being rude, and Jungwon didn’t deserve this. “I’ve been okay,” you said, keeping your tone neutral. “Life’s been busy with school and everything.” 
“I can imagine. College was so rough, finals and assignments all chasing after my ass.” Jungwon laughed, his eyes crinkling up into crescents. 
Your heart couldn’t help but ache at hearing his laugh again, the sound bringing back a flood of memories and emotions. 
Your heart swelled at seeing his smile again. 
You couldn’t do this anymore. You couldn’t continue pretending like everything was fine. 
“Jungwon,” you began, palms sweating from the nerves. “What’s the meaning of all this? What’s the point in coming all the way to this city to find me?”
Jungwon’s laughter subsided, and his expression shifted to a look of hurt and confusion. “Y/N,” he started, his voice tinged with frustration as his tongue poked at the inside of his mouth in annoyance. You were shocked. You had never seen Jungwon so visibly angry before. 
“You can’t be serious, right? You’re the one that threw our friendship away. Now, I’m here trying to fix it, and this is all you have to say?” His words cut through you like a dull knife, slow and painful. 
His raw emotions left you feeling exposed and vulnerable, causing you to instinctively bite the inside of your mouth, “It’s just…it’s complicated,” you said, your voice wavering. “It’s not like that,” you tried to explain. “I…I was scared…” your voice trailed off. 
Jungwon’s eyes searched yours, waiting for you to elaborate. When it seemed like you weren’t going to continue, Jungwon whispered, “Scared of what?”
Tears welled up in your eyes, blurring your vision. “I-I’m sorry,” you stammered, “I never wanted to hurt you. I never wanted to lose you as a friend,” you choked out. 
At the sight of you crying, Jungwon felt a tug at his heart, prompting him to step forward and wrap his arms around you. In his embrace, the realization of how much you missed him hit you like a tidal wave, and you clung to his shirt.
“I’m so sorry,” you whispered, your voice barely audible. It was more like you were talking to yourself, but Jungwon heard it nonetheless. “I should have been brave enough to risk it all and tell you how I felt.” 
“What?”
At this point, you didn’t really care anymore. You were too tired of this game you were playing with yourself. “I shouldn’t have kept it a secret,”  your voice cracking. 
It felt like Jungwon was hit by a truck. At that moment, he was hit with a sudden realization that this was so much more than you feeling regretful for ruining your friendship. Oh my god. This was so much more than just that. Jungwon’s thoughts raced around as his heart pounded in his chest. 
He opened his mouth to respond, to say something, anything, but you were already talking. Your words were spilling out like a floodgate that had finally been opened.
“I love you,” you let out, the words escaping your lips with a mixture of relief and fear. “I’ve loved you for so long, and I’ve been denying it to myself, to everyone. I didn’t know what to do with my overwhelming feelings, so I-I hid them,” your voice broke as you said the last part.
Jungwon started to speak, his voice gentle and caring, “It’s okay, Y/N. We don’t have to talk about th-”
“No, let me finish,” you interjected. “If you don’t let me say this now, I’ll never get the courage to do it again. Taking a deep breath, you continue, “I don’t know when I stopped seeing you as an older brother or a friend. You’ve always been there to help me, and I cherished our friendship more than anything,” you said, your voice softening. “But the truth is, I wanted more.”
There was only a deafening silence after you finished, and that scared you. “I’m really sorry, I should have told you.” 
“I wish you had,” Jungwon said, his voice low and thick with emotion, “I wish you had told me sooner.”
Oh. 
The words hung in the air like a heavy cloud, and panic filled your chest, making it hard to breathe. You ripped yourself away from Jungwon’s arms, the warmth of his embrace now feeling suffocating.
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
Why hadn’t you thought about that? Jungwon probably had a girlfriend already. To him, you were just a little girl crying about her silly little crush. You felt like a fool for thinking that he could even see you as more than just a friend. 
Jungwon reached out to touch your arm, secretly holding back a smile. But you didn’t see it because you were too ashamed to look him in the face. “Y/N, wait,” he said. “What are you thinking? Talk to me.”
But the panic had taken hold of you, and you couldn’t bear to face the possibility of rejection. Your heart was pounding in your ears, drowning out everything else.
“I-I should go,” you stammered, barely able to get the words out. “I’m sorry for…for everything, but don’t come find me anymore.”
You turned away, your walk breaking into a sprint as you hurriedly make your way through the crowd. You wished you could turn back time and keep your feelings hidden, but it was too late now.
In the midst of your inner turmoil, you didn’t notice Jungwon following closely behind you, his footsteps matching yours. He called out your name, his voice laced with urgency.
“Y/N, please stop,” he pleaded, finally catching up to you and gently grabbing your hand, forcing you to face him.
Tears streamed down your cheeks, and you couldn’t bring yourself to meet his gaze. “I can’t do this, Jungwon,” you spit out. “You don’t have to tell me. I know already.”
The only thing you hear is Jungwon let out a sigh, followed by a slight chuckle. Only then do you slowly look up, and you’re confused. Really fucking confused. Why was Jungwon grinning at you?
“What’s so funny?” you ask, your voice accusing, feeling humiliated. Does he think this is some type of joke?
Jungwon’s chuckle softens, “I’m not laughing at you, Y/N,” he says, his voice tender. “I’m just…relieved, I guess.”
Relieved? Your confusion deepens, and you can’t comprehend what he’s trying to say.
Jungwon smiles brightly as his thumb draws small circles on your hands, “I have a secret too.” 
“Kim Y/N!” Sunoo’s voice rang out through the phone.
“What?!” 
“Hurry up!”
You rolled your eyes as you unlocked the frontdoor to the house, “I didn’t know you missed me that much,” you said sarcastically, walking up the stairs and stopping outside Sunoo’s open door.
Sunoo glared at you through slitted eyes, “Not me,” he grumbled, jabbing his thumb towards his bed. “Take your boyfriend away, he’s been whining this whole time about how you wouldn’t take him on your little hangout.”
You pouted at the boy that was now running towards you, engulfing you in a tight embrace, “I told you already. I was hanging out with my college friends.”
“I missed you,” Jungwon whispered against your lips.
“Get out!” Sunoo yelped. “It’s weird seeing my best friend and my sister together, let alone kissing,” he whined. 
The two of you only laugh as Jungwon picks you up, causing you to let out a squeal, and he carried you to your bedroom. 
“Close my door!” was the only thing you heard from Sunoo before you were gently thrown onto your bed, Jungwon crawling in after you. 
You nestled into Jungwon’s arms, feeling the comfort and warmth that came from being in his embrace. 
“You know, I never took you to be the clingy type,” you said, a mischievous grin spreading across your face.
Jungwon rolled his eyes playfully, a hint of amusement dancing in his smile. “Oh, come on,” he teased, pulling you closer and wrapping his arms around you. “Can you blame me for missing my adorable and amazing girlfriend?”
You let out a mock sigh, feigning exasperation. “I guess I can’t blame you,” you replied, resting your head on his shoulder. “After all, I am pretty amazing,” you grinned. 
Jungwon chuckled softly, his breath warm against your ear. “You’re right. How did I get so lucky?” he whispered, his voice filled with affection. “You’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever met.”
You blushed at his words, feeling your heart skip a beat. It was moments like these that made you fall in love with him all over again. He had a way of making you feel special, of making you feel cherished. 
“Flattery will get you everywhere,” you teased, lifting your head to meet his gaze. 
He grinned, his eyes sparkling as he smiled. “Oh, I know,” he said, leaning in to press a gentle kiss on your lips.
The soft touch of his lips against yours sent a delightful shiver down your spine. It was a tender, affectionate kiss that spoke volumes of the emotions he held for you. In that simple moment, your heart swelled with joy and love for him. 
As the kiss lingered for a moment, time seemed to slow to a crawl, and you felt like you were in your own little world. The gentle caress of his lips moving against yours sent sparks flying, and you found yourself clinging to his shirt, not wanting to moment to end.
Jungwon's arms, which were circled around your waist, began gently tickling your sides, making you gasp into the kiss. You let out a squeal of laughter, trying to squirm away, but Jungwon held you firmly in his arms.
"Jungwon, stop!" you giggled, squirming and laughing uncontrollably.
He grinned mischievously, his eyes shining with amusement, but he didn't relent. Instead, Jungwon intensified the tickling, knowing exactly how to make you laugh even more.
"Please," you breathed out in between laughs. "I can't breath," you laughed.
When he finally pulled back, a soft smile graced his lips as he pressed his forehead against yours. "You're adorable when you laugh like that," he whispered.
Blushing and still giggling, you playfully swatted at his chest. "You're just saying that to distract me from the tickling," you stuck your tongue out.
Jungwon chuckled, his eyes softening. "Maybe a little," he admitted, "but I mean every word."
You bit the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from smiling wider and snuggled closer to Jungwon. You could hear the beat of his heart, and you were happy that it was beating as fast as yours.
“You’re everything to me,” he whispered, his voice barely above a breath. “And I wouldn’t trade anything for you.”
Your heart pounded against your chest, and a million butterflies erupted in your stomach in the best way possible. You couldn’t help but return his affectionate smile. “I feel the same way,” you mumbled into his chest. 
“Thank you for telling me your secret.”
“Thank you for telling me yours.”
౨ৎ
tagging : @kcluv @jungwonismybias @mrchweeee @jwsszi @jhopesucker @ashgodash @luvbinniee @en-dazed @aishigrey @luvuwn @silentkarnival @fakeuwus @markerloi @abcdeonu @wonies-princess @aloloveswonie @amanda-archives @chaengswife @yukxin @kpopstanmeg (bold couldn't be tagged!)
a/n : hi guys! tysm if you read till the end! sorry for not releasing this earlier, i went through a rough writer's block and to be honest, i'm not that satisfied with how this turned out, but i thought you guys still deserved the happy ending that you were waiting for! hopefully this filled the void of the sad ending i left in part 1 (sorry about that again) but now yn and jungwon are happier than ever hehe. tysm for all your love and support! and like always reblogs, comments, and likes are vvv much appreciated! thank u for reading this story!
pew ~♡︎
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ponderingmoonlight · 6 months
Text
Toji Fushiguro coming back to life to save (y/n) in Shibuya
Shibuya Arc scenarios that live in my head rent-free pt.ll
Pt. l with Gojo and Geto are here
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Pairing: Toji Fushiguro x reader
Word Count: 2,5k
Notes: Literally no one asked for this, I had to do this for myself after the latest episode okay. Loots of grief, hurt and language. Enjoy
„Hey, it’s been a while“, you mumble to yourself, mindlessly dropping a bouquet of flowers onto the stone in front of you.
“You’re not coming back, are you?”
It’s been more than 10 years to be exact. Ten years of working as an assassin, ten years of roaming around without an aim.
Ten years since losing him.
Back then, you never admitted to anyone how you felt about him, how his sight alone made your body do crazy things and lightened up your cloudy mood. He was never a man that was easy to love, let alone very emotional. When it comes to women, Toji probably was the worst man walking on this earth.
But oh how much you loved him. How much you adored the little smile he wore on his face when he teased you, how much you longed for his arms that wrapped themselves around you when nobody was watching, how much you miss his hands roaming all over your body while he fucked you brainless each and every night, screaming out his name like a prayer.
Losing him was the most unbearable pain you’ve ever felt, an event that made you forget your belief in love forever. He was never yours, but losing him shattered your fucking heart. Since he’s gone, you never let another man touch you again, living from alcohol, cigarettes and assignments.
And this.
You visited Toji’s grave whenever you felt enough courage to do so without breaking down. Day after day, week after week, year after year. Always with the same empty feeling that occupies your mind, the what ifs that plague your tired heart whenever you think of him.
Beep beep beep.
Who the hell is calling you right now?
“I’m busy doing nothing”, you bark into your phone.
“(y/n), just wanted to let you know that something’s going on in Shibuya. Rumor has it that that Gojo boy was sealed.”
“Impossible”, you breathe out, almost dropping your phone.
Gojo Satoru, the strongest jujutsu sorcerer, the fucker that killed Toji all these years ago, is gone? Your heart bangs against your chest, mind unable to comprehend the words. This is your chance. The chance to seek revenge, to kill everyone he cares for in one place without resistance.
Everyone expect him.
“I don’t know how this will go. My kid, Megumi. If something happens, keep an eye on him for me, will ya?”
You promised. Despite the fact that you pushed Toji’s past away as far as you could, you have to keep an eye on his son when Gojo isn’t around anymore.
“I thought so too, but seems like that’s a fact.”
“Do we know anything else? Some dirty details?”
“Not really, but someone pretty strong has to be there if that person was able to seal that fucker, don’t you think?”
“Yeah”, you mumble.
“I will take a look at this myself.”
Without waiting for a reply, you hang up and start walking.
This is your chance. After all this years of suffering, regretting, anger and agony, you’ll finally get your revenge. You will show them what the strongest jujutsu sorcerer did to you by taking your love away, by destroying your life so violently that there’s no more happiness left. You will give him a taste of his own medicine.
If Gojo Satoru ever sees the light of day again, all of his beloved ones will be dead. You will make sure of that.
-at Shibuya-
“Jujutsu sorcerers and their fucking curtains”, you mutter to yourself while effortlessly walking through the barrier.
How pathetic to think that curses and other jujutsu sorcerers are their only enemies. After all, Toji was almost able to defeat the strongest of them with nothing but his own rough hands.
Almost. How much you hated that word. He was almost able to defeat Gojo, he was almost able to survive that battle, he almost made it home to you.
But he never did. And that’s why you’re here, standing on top of a tall building while scanning the area around you. A few seconds later, loud bangs can be heard from a stress a few miles away. You spring into action immediately, gliding over the buildings with your harness so effortlessly that even a trained eye wouldn’t detect you. In their world, you are invisible, nothing more than a shadow without jujutsu.
And that’s their weakness.
You stop on a house corner, immediately caught by the sight of none other than Megumi Fushiguro in front of you along with another boy and an old fart. Your heart clenches painfully at the way his cold eyes stare at the old man, his facial features taking you back in time. Oh, he looks so much like his father.
So much that you want to go back home and swallow a bottle of vodka to get his face off your mind. But no, you’re on a mission, you have to make sure that kid is alright and kill all of his friends. You’ve got a job to do, get a hold of yourself.
With skilled eyes, you judge how he moves, how he acts, how he fights. Well, he might not be the best fighter you have seen yet, but he sure has some potential. Together with his little friend, he should be able to defeat that old fart. If not, you’ll come back later.
While you swore on keeping an eye open for him, you’re reluctant to meet Megumi and somehow don’t want him to find out that you’re after his friends and sensei. So you tear your gaze away from him, aiming for the skyscraper in front of you where another fight takes place. Whoever this is will be the first victim of your killing streak.
You will make every single one of these bastards pay for what Gojo did. You will make them feel the way you felt after his decease.
Over.
And over.
Again.
It isn’t hard for you to get up Shibuya tower in the matter of seconds, the harsh winds waving through your hair. Your heart pounds, eyes darting around the area.
Three people, two men are fighting while an old lady sits on the ground.
“And who of you belongs to that Gojo fucker?”, you mumble, gripping both of your katana’s tightly.
This is the moment. After Gojo is sealed, this is your opportunity to finally seek revenge, to kill every single one of them. When this fucker returns, he’ll be alone.
Just like you are since he killed Toji.
“What the hell are you doing here? Get lost”, the old woman hisses.
You stare at the broad back of the man who hits the other without mercy. Damn, that speed, that precision. It’s like back then. His fine technique almost makes him look like…
Toji.
Automatically, your feet carry you forward. You swing yourself in the air, feet ready to kick the broad man into his chest.
“Don’t you think this is a little unfair?”, you shout.
His eyes dart towards you.
He grabs your ankle.
All you can do is stare at him, mind going completely blank.
His face. This gorgeous face you adored so much. The little scar that emphasized the corner of his delicious mouth so well. His collarbone that creeps through the sweater he’s wearing. No, there’s no doubt. The man standing in front of you is Toji.
“Get out of the way, woman.”
Toji’s frame slams your body against the ground merciless. You see stars, lungs refusing their service as all you can do is stare in horror at the shell of the man you used to love, glimmer of hope nipped in the bud.
This isn’t his voice. This isn’t his smile.
This just isn’t Toji.
You hate the way your eyes start to water as he grabs your throat and yanks you upwards.
“You are not Toji. How dare you to use his body like that”, you cough out.
Instead of replying, he just smiles at you so heartlessly that you feel like throwing up. No, this simply can’t be Toji. This is the empty shell of the man you’ve lost. Feelings flood your heart uncontrollably. Anger, grief and most of all disappointment haunting and bringing you to your knees. God, how much you wished it was true. For the split of a second, you really thought this was him. Your Toji, the man you haven’t forgot after all these years, the only one you ever sacrificed your heart to.
But he’s gone. And he won’t come back.
“There needs to be a corpse for shapeshifting. Dumb girl, of course this isn’t Toji Zen’in. But you will die through his hands.”
Your body refuses to move. All you can do is watch as he throws the body of the other man down, off the tower, into certain death.
Fuck. Is this really how it ends?
“Y’know, you’re actually not that bad.”
“I hope so, jackass. Otherwise I’ll throw you out.”
“C’mon princess, don’t be like that. Y’know I’m obsessed with you.”
“Oh yeah? Might need to hear that again…”
“I’d rather show you.”
Like in slow-motion, his frame casually walks back and comes to a stand next to the old woman. Every limb of your body screams out in pain, lungs feeling like they’ll rip apart any minute. So this is the force of Toji Fushiguro.
It could be funny, actually. You always thought Toji is the strongest man on this earth, admired him for his sheer strength despite not being a jujutsu sorcerer. But when he was with you, his deadly touch became gentle, caressing you with what felt like…love.
Did he really love you? Who knows. But you did. Oh, how much you loved that man – the man whose back is now faced towards you, muscles tight by the thought of killing you with his bare hands.
Is there anything more ironic than getting killed by Toji Fushiguro?
“I would rather die through his hands than living like this until I’m as old and ugly as you.”
“Grandson.”
“I know, granny.”
He turns around. The shell of the man you thought about every night before drifting off to sleep, the man that is the only one you ever dedicated your heart to. That oh so rough face that felt so gentle against your fingertips. How much you’d give to talk to him one last time, to let him know how you really feel.
With a swift motion, he grabs your throat again, feet hanging in the air as you feel like life is slowly drifting away from you. Before your blurry vision threatens to eat you alive, he slams your already weak body into the floor, blood spurting in every direction.
Nothing but darkness and this foreign far away voice that speaks out of his body.
“That should be enough.”
Your fingers twitch. Is this the end? His footsteps echo through your brain.
“Granny, wh-wh-wh-wh-what do whe do now?”
“It won’t hurt to keep Satoru Gojo out of play. So go down below and kill sorcerers.”
“Grandson?”
“Who the hell do you think you’re ordering around, old hag? And how dare you to hurt ma princess?”
That voice…You must be hallucinating. It sounds just like him, just like you remember it. That deep unpromising vibration that made you go crazy more than once.
A shriek, a dull fall, silence. Footsteps that are approaching you again. Heavy, confident steps.
“I thought you can take more than that, princess.”
Hands grab your shoulders gently, lifting your bruised and weak body out of the dirt. You force yourself to open your heavy eyelids, mind still trying to process what is happening.
You stare right into his ocean blue eyes.
“Missed me?”
Your shaky breath rings in your ears, trembling hands searching for hold on his shoulders.  
“Toji?”
Nothing more than a fade whisper in the night, a faint hope resonates.
“You’re still looking hot.”
Tears swell up your eyes before you can catch yourself while you wrap your aching arms around him for dear life. This has to be a dream, some cruel technique, a hallucination. But you don’t give a fuck. At the moment, all you can think about is how he wraps his large arms around your waist and back while holding the back of your head and the way he smells.
God, he smells just like you remember, just like the Toji you knew.
“Please tell me you’re back. Tell me this isn’t just a cruel dream. I don’t want to wake up anymore….”
“Live and in color. It’s been a while”, he comments.
Your eyes dart towards him and his sly grin. The grin you know all too well, the grin you adored more than anything else in the world.
“I missed you every single fucking day. And now…And now you’re standing in front of me. Alive”, you stammer.
“These fuckers thought they could use my powers against you. Ain’t no way  I’d let this happen princess. Even if it means going to hell and back to be with you.”
Your fingers trace over his cheeks, his collarbones, his broad chest.
“It’s me, (y/n)”, he confirms your unspoken question.
“I missed you.”
“Yeah? Missed ya too. And can’t wait to show you how much. But work comes first and I still have a lot of shit to do.”
“I came here to take revenge, to kill all of Gojo’s little puppies for what he did to you”, you hiss through gritted teeth.
“What a good girl you are, I always loved ya for that. Let’s get you out of here first. I’ll be back in a few hours, ‘kay?”
Toji…Loves you? Your hands dig into his firm biceps, eyes piercing right through him for any sign of sarcasm, any sign of manipulation.
But no, it’s clear. The man in front of you is indeed Toji Fushiguro. And he told you that he loves you.
He’s back and he loves you.
“I love you. Fuck, I love you so much! Living without you was hell”, you cry out, completely breaking down in tears while he holds you in his arms.
“I know princess, I know… Will catch up on everything, I promise. Let’s get you outta here. So sorry for hurting you like that.”
He picks you up in his arms while you allow yourself to close your eyes and lean your face against his chest. This might be a manipulation, a dream and nothing more. But you never thought you’d get him back. Fuck, after more than 10 years you’re really back in his arms.
Screw if this isn’t real. For this precious moment, you finally feel home again.
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colourstreakgryffin · 7 months
Note
scratch that lamia Obanai request cause I got a better one. Platonic yandere lamia Obanai with a darling reader who absolutely fucking LOVES snakes.
Fuck yes, let’s goooo! My lovely danger noodle~! Now he is a actual danger noodle! Obi~!
Yandere! Platonic! KNY Hashira Scenarios: Naga! Iguro Obanai
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Obanai always scared humans away, when one would cross him. Hissing and whipping his mighty tail as he could never associate with humans, they’re all cowards and hate anything slightly different. His nasty opinion on humans change when he meets you
Somebody who didn’t run away or scream. Somebody who played with his black and white striped serpentine tail, whilst asking how it came to be. He is very confused but he doesn’t bother scaring you off as he just watches you stroke his tail, wonder and amazement crashing on him like a waterfall
Obanai falls in love with you in a instant and he just can’t be away from you, you live in his mind rent free. Obanai is grumpy and irritated when you aren’t before him and when you return to chat with him, his world brightens up again. You’ve taken his heart, please look after it
Obanai is a very scary Yandere, both platonic and romantic. His growing obsession over you is to keep you as his friend, keep you loving him and his snakely attributes so you’ll avoid other humans. They can’t do what he can do! And he doesn’t mind getting a bit violent to get what he wants
Obanai definitely not above taking his rivals’ lives away. In-fact, he will happily kill every other friend you have so you end up alone and desperate for friendship. Obanai tracks down his enemies and chokes them out with his tail, threatening them and roaring that they will die before they even look at you again
And yes. Every human he tracks down, never comes back as he either snaps their neck or tears out their vital organs. He won’t bring back the body, but he hides them from you as to avoid making you scared of him
Obanai stalks you all the time when you aren’t right besides him and chatting away. He needs to know everything he possibly can to use to make you fall deeper in passionate love for him so you won’t stop being his friend and admiring his snake frame. It’s all means to keep you as his and make him you’re only friend
Obanai coils himself around you and holds you in the bundle of his tail when you proclaim you’re tired. It’s not that warm, but it’s tall enough to act as a bed and when you fall asleep, his heart leaps for the skies. You like him a lot, you just must!
Obanai isn’t use to praise at all. He just thought of himself as morbidly hideous for his Naga anatomy and disgusting face scars but you never care about that. You like him and his Naga anatomy a lot, since you always say you love snakes. He plays a lot into being a snake
Obanai‘s acting has gotten a lot better as he has to pretend somebody else is after you, when it’s actually him, who is behind the curtain and pulling the strings to take away everybody who loves you. But he’d rather die then let you know that and try run away from him
Even Platonic! Obanai is as possessive, obsessive and delusional, just like his usual Yandere self. He genuinely believes he is entitled to you since you accepted him and you let him live with you, and he clings onto you anytime he is with you in public. He doesn’t usually go out but when he does, he is pulling you away from people with half-ass excuses
Obanai will eventually kidnap you and take you to his burrow, away from humanity. Sure, he isn’t in love with you in that way, his love is platonic but it’s so powerful that he doesn’t want to find a mate or any of the sorts. He just wants you to stay his friend forever and he curls himself around you, hugging you as you sob in fear
You were completely tricked and it hurt. Obanai seemed like a sweet shy Naga who just needed friends. No, he is a sick obsessed psycho who has forced you into a cave, against your will. He broke your heart but his delusion-fucked mind won’t recognise that, convinced you are relieved that it’s just you two now
“Dokusha. You can barely walk, allow me to help, you’re exhausted. What? No. I can pick you up, I have the strength to. Plus, you weigh like the sweetest gentle leaves— I mean, you weigh nothing!”
116 notes · View notes
lewkwoodnco · 5 months
Text
get him BACK! - Lockwood x Reader
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A/N: The idea for this fic has been living rent-free in my head for WEEKS and I finally decided to write it all out hahah I wanted to try a new style of writing, something more lighthearted and not so serious/depressing so here's a fun lil fic based off get him back! by olivia rodrigo! couldn't decide which gif to put so I put BOTH lolll ofc I made some modifications to better fit Lockwood and there are some parts where their relationship isn't the healthiest butttt it's a work of fiction soo take with a grain of salt! Tyyy to @karensirkobabes for giving me the push I needed to get this written down <3 enemies to lovers, reader is a Fittes agent similar to the I can see you fic (not exactly the same set up but quite similar so think parallel universe?) HAVE FUN, 5.4k
Enough was enough. She picked up the golf club and stomped out.
“Y/N. Y/N! Where are you - hey!”
She pulled her arm back, and now she was bringing it smashing down, probably inefficiently so, but she didn’t care. She punctuated Lockwood’s yells with shattering glass and screams of her own, wreaking havoc on his car like a woman scorned. She was a woman scorned. How dare he be so irritating yet so fucking irresistible all in the same breath?
She had met him shortly after she came back from a much needed summer vacation, ready to dive into a case that ended up lasting nearly 7 months. They had been assigned to the case around the tail-end of August, but for some odd reason Barnes had been keen on briefing them individually. Perhaps it had something to do with how both of them had hounded him after their frosty first encounter. She had tried her best to be open-minded, but she couldn’t help how her face twisted over having to work with this pompous prick, convinced that he was God’s gift to them all. That was enough to incite some snarky, underhanded comment and she retaliated, and they went back and forth until they realised Barnes was gone.
In hindsight, maybe it was their extreme hounding of him as they begged to be assigned elsewhere that made him decide to never be in the same room as both of them.
"She's uptight, narrow-minded, contemptuous -"
"I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I-"
"- bossy, irritating, ill-tempered, and did I mention uptight?"
"- I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I-"
"Enough!" Barnes could only walk so fast and they could walk faster. "The rest of the teams are already stretched thin over this spiked string of hauntings across the country. So if you want to keep your job, and if you want the commission I know you so desperately need, I suggest you find a way to put aside your differences."
So she couldn’t avoid him forever, though she tried her best. He just had to have an opinion over everything that came out of her mouth and that opinion always had to contradict hers.
“I think we should split up into the different rooms.”
“Hmm. I think it’s best we all stay in the dining hall.”
“But the Sources could be in the rooms too.”
“But it’s unlikely, since most of the guests were killed during a dinner party held…where was it? Oh yes, the dining hall.”
“All the cutlery from that party is in the kitchen, the tablecloths in the linen cupboard, the chairs in -“
“Because cutlery, tablecloths and chairs are known for being prime Sources. Infamous, really.”
She hated how mocking his eyes were. She was a leader of strong character with resolute faith in her instincts, so damn did it sting to cave.
“Fine. Shaw, you’ll set up the chains -"
“Don’t be ridiculous, Lucy’ll do it.”
“Why?”
“She’s the best Listener in all of London; she’ll know the best place to set them up.”
“Fine. We’ll meet in the dining hall at 5 pm-”
“Hang on - what about the groups?”
She mouthed wordlessly at him. “Wha - we just decided that we’ll all be in the same room! What groups?”
“To look for the Sources in the linen closets, the kitchen, the -“
“I thought we just decided that those trinkets were too menial.”
“Oh, well, we can never be a hundred percent sure, can’t we? A good agent is thorough, you know.”
She blinked, her eyes sliding over the rest of her team’s as she wordlessly mouthed retorts which were too stunned to form. She tugged at her hair, dreaming of yanking it from her scalp strand by strand.
“Fine. Fine. Fine.” She slammed her journal on the desk, treating the pages with less care than she ought to be. “Shaw and Karim, you’ll take the parlour. Lockwood and Vernon, you’ll take the master bedroom. Carlyle and -“
“Vernon? Hasn’t he been sick, like, three times this week?”
“I’LL do the master bedroom with you, Lockwood. Anything wrong with that? Hm? Anything to nitpick or whine or complain about?”
He leaned back in his chair, his smile a little too lazy for her liking. “Trying to get me into a bed? We’ve only just met.”
She had to physically restrain herself from screaming at him. That wasn't any different from the kind of digs they took at each other in private, so why was her face beginning to heat up?
"What can I say?" She spoke through gritted teeth. "You bring out the absolute worst in me."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thankfully, by the time they were stationed in their different rooms, most of the fight had bled out of the two of them, and they were the closest they have ever been to amicable, or even civil. Lockwood insisted that he was better at handling a rapier than her so they decided that he would keep the visitor back, should it make an appearance, as she searched the room.
A visitor did show up, screaming something awful at the two of them. She was spiralling in despair as she tore apart drawers and boxes, coming up empty. Then, in a sudden wave of inspiration, she realised that they hadn't considered looking under the floorboards. There had been a loose one in the corner of the room, but the only problem was that the visitor was floating mere inches above the floorboard.
Lockwood, with all his proclaimed prowess, seemed quite evenly matched with the visitor, and he looked far too pale to comprehend a new plan. She squeezed her eyes shut and launched herself to the floorboard, hoping that the surprise would be enough to give the visitor pause. There was an anguished yell mixed with aggressive taunts from Lockwood, and she could make out the hiss of a flare as her fingers scrabbled for the Source: a pen. She flung it into her net and the visitor disappeared, leaving behind Lockwood sprawled on the floor, having been backed into a corner.
She numbly put the chains away and shouldered their bag of supplies, starting the trek downstairs while Lockwood caught his breath and struggled with something. She hadn't missed the outrage in his eyes and the way his jaw was ticking something furious, and prepared for the worst.
"What the hell was that? That wasn't the plan!"
"Oh, but you provoking the visitor was?"
"I was drawing it out! You were inches away from being ghost-touched."
"I was not."
"Were too!"
"Ugh, you're such a child!"
"You know, none of this would be happening if you didn't suck at finding Sources."
"Like you would have been any better."
"Actually, yes, I would have."
"Fine!" She turned and threw the bag at him, relishing the way it (momentarily) knocked the wind out of him. "You look for the rest, and God help you if you don't find them all."
Fortunately or unfortunately, her threat never saw the light of day as the rest of them had managed to find the other Sources with not nearly as much fuss as them. Everyone was too tired to talk much on the way back to DEPRAC. She began drafting their report while Lockwood helped Lucy limp along to one of the nurses. She signed the report, not looking up as Lockwood approached.
"Come to yell at me some more?"
"Ha-ha." But it was wooden and deflated. She glanced at his exhausted face and decided it wasn't worth it. "I was just...taken aback, is all. I didn't mean to -"
"It's fine. I wouldn't have lasted this long if I crumbled every time someone got mad at me."
The corner of his mouth quirked upwards and she felt this absurd sense of accomplishment.
"Still, let me make it up to you. Let's all go for dinner. My treat."
"Oh." She felt her face warm as she clumsily tried to remind herself how awful he was and how terrible having dinner with him sounded. "It's no need, really -"
"We'll be at this for a while, if tonight was any indication, so we might as well keep our spirits high."
"But-"
"I'll get George to start flagging down some cabs." With that, he briskly turned away, case report in hand, while she stared at him like a goldfish. So he was a prick on and off the job. Who did he think he was, ordering her around like that. Part of her wanted to refuse to come along out of spite, but she was starving, so she settled for a silent internal rebellion.
As much as she hated to admit it, the food was good and her team members seemed to be having the most fun they've had in months, if their noise was any indication. George and Ned were locked in some intense argument about their research on the house and Lucy was desperately trying to get them to shut up, in between a conversation about cheese rolling. She was getting lightheaded from laughing over Lucy's unusual fascination and George being George ("Shaw, say one more thing about my page holder and I'll come over there and fuck you up.") when Lockwood turned to her, half-yelling into her ear, and she nearly choked on her drink. Her weird sense of humour was usually perceived as non-existent, but Lockwood somehow managed to come up with the most out-of-pocket statements that made her sides ache. But she still hated his guts, of course.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And so began their convoluted relationship. Sure, they were both prone to the extremes, but in an oddly balanced kind of way. They would butt heads and swear at each other copiously during cases and then tiredly patch up (mostly) over dinner. She had started to grow fond of their team dinners, but only because of the camraderie and fostered and not because it meant having the thigh of a certain someone with excessively long legs pressing into hers in their cramped corner of the booth. That was just an unfortunate by-product that she, er, suffered through. That, and the wrestling with Lockwood over the bill ("How are you affording any of this? Aren't you at the edge of bankruptcy??"). Their relationship was complicated enough before his string of small gifts began.
Lockwood walked into the agent lounge where she was examining the file of their mission that night, and her eyes barely flickered in acknowledgement. The case was excruciatingly demanding to the point where they spent less time apart than together. He tossed a small bag on her papers before being accosted by one of her team members. By the time he was done, the lounge had cleared out and she had unwrapped the package. Her eyebrow twitched.
"What's this?"
"Oh, I thought someone might have told you by now. This here is a nifty little device called a watch, and -"
"Hardy har har. You're hilarious. I meant, why are you giving this to me?"
"Oh. Didn't your watch get smashed a few nights back?"
She grimaced. It had been rough to accept, but she had slammed against the wall so roughly that it was a miracle she didn't get a concussion. She had really liked it and she had a feeling he had picked up on how much she had been missing it over the past few days.
"Er, yes, but what does that have to do with you?"
"Feel bad, is all."
"Like how you felt bad enough to buy me a designer pen?"
"I have no idea what you're talking about." His coat was draped on his chair and he was working on a biscuit tin from the cabinet. "That was just a momento to commemorate our first house together."
"Uh-huh. Sure." She reluctantly but carefully put the watch away. "You better not make a habit of this. I...appreciate the gesture, but I don't need any of this."
"I know."
"So this is the last, um, trinket. Right?"
He leaned forward, sleeves rolled up to his elbows. "Aw. You're cute as a button." He tapped her nose as she spluttered angrily, innocently picking up one of the maps she was pouring over as the rest of the team started to arrive.
After the case, she began writing the report as usual, because Lockwood always had some reason or the other to dawdle. But when she looked up, she felt her breath hitch. The scene was crowded, but he was somehow in her direct line of vision, talking to one of her team members, Catherine, who was laughing at whatever he was saying. She stood there, stunned, as if only just remembering that he had a life outside of her. Betrayal stabbed in her gut. Really, she only had herself to blame for thinking she was somehow special. Maybe it was the long hours, or the exhaustion that had caught up with her, but for a moment there...she could have sworn...
She didn't realise he was standing in front of her. He made some teasing remark as he looked over the report, but she wasn't in the mood. She was never bound to stay with him while he made his own additions to the report, but there was always something magnetic about him that fascinated her, and she wouldn't even realise until he was done. But not today. She glared at him before turning away swiftly, his smooth voice cutting off abruptly.
"Y/N?" He caught up with her, carelessly signing the report. "Was it- was it something I said?"
She turned to look at him, no longer illusioned by dreams or fantasies her mind had a particular propensity to concoct.
"Ugh, you're such a boy."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
She had never been a sentimental person, but as they ascended in the elevator of the illusions museum that was their final case, she was feeling some type of way. She glanced at Lockwood, whose eyes snapped up to her face, and she squinted at him suspiciously. But he took care to keep his face blank, so she looked away. She wasn't completely innocent herself, either. It was just the showy swagger with which he walked that drew her eyes to how his rapier hung near his hip. He was always one for theatrics.
When they exited the elevator, it looked as though they were faced with a dead end, until they realised it was just an oddly placed wall.
"I'll climb over, since I'm the one with any real height."
"You're just a fraction taller than me." So not true, which he picked up on as well with a short bark of laughter. Her neck would hurt from looking up at him if they were too close together.
"I'm nearly 1.9 metres tall, and-"
"Oh, shut up; you are not that tall!" But there was no real heat behind her words, and she rolled her eyes at his grin before he pulled himself over. Once they were both at the other side, they wandered around in a maze of mirrors, looking into every door they came across, until Lockwood found one gleaming of iron that wouldn't budge.
"I'm going to pick it."
"Lockwood, no. If the door has an iron frame; it's probably locked for a reason."
"What are the odds?"
"Very high."
"Eh, I'm not convinced."
"Leave the door!"
"Geez, relax. You're no fun."
"...you're picking the lock right now, aren't you?"
"Yep."
She groaned frustratedly, haphazardly trying to get to him through the maze, but it was too late. A shriek rang out in the deathly silence, followed by loud cursing from Lockwood. She caught glimpses of the Spectre through the reflections, which luckily seemed just as confused as them, though significantly more aggrieved. She somehow managed to find the room the Spectre had burst out of, though it seemed to have sealed shut again. She yelled to Lockwood, and tugged harder at the door, finally wrenching it open. She heard his footsteps as he drew closer, rolling in just as she shut the door against the Spectre wailing at his heels.
"Lockwood," she gasped in relief, "you are so full of shit."
Still panting against the door with an angry cut running through his eyebrow, he pressed his mouth against hers, and they were a mess of lips, tongue and teeth clashing against each other. Just as suddenly as it started, it was over, and he looked away, not meeting her eyes. Her vision swam. She had never felt so alive.
"You're maddening," he choked out. "What do you suggest we do, then?"
She was dizzy and felt sure that her legs were going to give away any minute now. "I- I don't...um...god, where is that humming coming from?" She spun around, the buzzing grating against her nerves. After some hunting, they managed to find a box hidden in a cavity in the wall which reeked of psychic charge. They wrapped it in their iron net and instantly the wailing ceased.
They took the elevator down in silence. She watched him from the corner of her eye. His eyes swept her from head to toe with a dark, unrecognisable expression, before he turned to face the doors like her. What was it? Disdain? Interest? Contempt? Awe? She wanted to shake an answer out of him.
"It's hard to be on the same wavelength with someone who insists on arguing with me about everything."
“Look, I’m not the one who decided that you were a terrible person from the get-go.”
“I did not do that. I looked at the evidence and made an educated guess. Besides, I never meant to be so blatant with it. I’m just…an expressive person.”
She regretted the words as soon as they left her mouth, grimacing as she heard the smile in his voice.
“Expressive, huh?”
“Oh, sod off.”
He clicked his tongue. She wanted to rip it out with her teeth. "You can be so adorable when you're nice."
"Oh yeah? What am I when I'm not nice?"
The elevator doors opened. Suddenly, his warm breath was ghosting the exposed sliver of her shoulder.
"Hot as fuck."
She briefly short-circuited, Lockwood long gone by the time she came to her senses. She hurried out, kicking herself over how heavily she was breathing over a stupid whisper like that.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It was a full month before she saw him again, and she never got fully used to working with just her team again. She would turn, wondering why Lockwood was remarkably quiet, or waiting for some smartass comment, but it would never come, and it rubbed at something raw inside of her. She hadn't laughed the way she did with him since he left, and the memory of his bruising kiss hovered at the back of her mind. Not that she missed him or anything, ew. She was glad he was gone. So glad. Good...riddance.
She entered her flat, fumbling for the light switch, sighing at the pile of letters that stood abandoned on her desk. It didn't take long for some part of her to long to reach out to Lockwood, but every letter she wrote was disgustingly sappy. Sometimes, in a fit of desperation she would put on her coat, determined to post her latest letter, but the resolve would fade before she even stepped out. She'd be an embarrassment to Fittes and he would awkwardly explain how she wasn't anyone special and she would never live it down. How humiliating to be rejected by someone who made her life a living hell.
She stabbed her latest letter on her mantle with a newfound passion for vengeance. This was all his fault, the sick bastard. She was going to get him back.
The opportunity somehow presented itself by fate. The next day had just happened to be her day off, when she received a panicked phone call from Lucy. She had to return home for some emergency but George was down with the flu, and Lockwood was away at a client meeting, so would it be alright if she came over for a few hours, just until Lockwood got back?
She went over and calmed a frantic Lucy rushed off her feet enough for her to get to the train station. George was taking a nap, and though Lucy had mentioned that he'd make some soup for himself when he woke, she decided to make herself useful. She was just finishing up the touches on some spaghetti for herself and Lockwood when he arrived. He looked a little stunned to see her, and she couldn't quite find her voice either. He looked more sombre, somehow, like the last month had weighed heavily on him.
"...hey."
"Hey."
"I'm sorry about all this, it's just there was a strike, and the trains were all-"
"Oh, no worries."
"Thank you for the - is that soup?"
"Yes, and some, erm, watery spaghetti-"
"No, it looks amazing, really. You shouldn't have..."
"It was no trouble." They paused as they heard a thump coming from George's door. She left to check on him.
"George? Is everything all right? Is it the soup?"
George coughed, calling out in a raspy voice. "Soup's wonderful, thank you. That isn't Ned, is it?"
"Hm? Oh, no, Lockwood's just come home. But he came around earlier today. He wanted to see how you were doing but you were asleep."
"Oh," he wheezed. "Well, you tell him to piss off if he comes back. And maybe you can tell him I'm doing alright." He took a sip of the soup and closed his eyes. "Try not to murder Lockwood till I'm better. I want a front-row seat."
She smiled to herself as she walked back to the kitchen. Lockwood had put out two plates of the spaghetti for the both of them, and was waiting for her.
"Everything okay?"
She nodded. He picked up his fork, then set it back down, almost as an afterthought.
“You didn’t poison this, did you?” She flung her dishcloth at him, which he caught, but just barely. Damn his reflexes. But things were starting to feel normal again.
“Don’t tempt me.”
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lockwood had a job to do at a cemetery that evening, and though he insisted he would be fine on his own, the look in his eyes was enough of a request for her help.
"You know," he was saying on the way there, "I've got another job two days later, if you're interested, that is."
"That sounds - oh. Hang on, I'm going to the movies with Terence that day."
"Terence?" She turned to see an uncharacteristically confused Lockwood, looking as though the wind had left his sails. "Not Terence Fisher?"
"He's the only Terence I know. No worries, I think we can shift-"
"No." A stubborn streak that had lied dormant since their reunion emerged, rearing its ugly head. "It's fine. I think it's just a Type One anyway."
"Oh. I mean, you can never be too sure-"
"I'll be fine. I can handle it. You go enjoy your...your date with Terence." He looked so disgusted, and that only enraged her further. They were getting along so well. What was his problem? She responded to his cold shoulder with one of her own, glaring out the cab window.
Despite her anger, the case went smoothly if a bit quieter than normal, and she enjoyed their familiar rhythm that she had so dearly missed. Somewhere in the middle, Lockwood looked as though his anger had thawed, but then his features changed, like he had just remembered something, and he walked away frostily. She swore, biting her tongue. Fucking Lockwood.
She wandered around, kicking at pebbles, while waiting for Lockwood to straighten out his fees with the client when her heart stopped. It couldn't be. She pulled back the vines creeping around one of the headstones in an unmarked plot. The grave of Celia Lockwood.
Once she had gotten over her shock, the words seemed to flow out of her mouth of their own accord. "Um, hi." She cleared her throat. "This is probably...the most disrespectful thing I've done, but, uh, I have to ask about your son. Why the fuck is he so aggravating?" She laughed nervously, hoping Celia Lockwood wouldn't be hunting her down in her sleep for this. "He sucks. I'm sorry, I know it's terrible to say, and I'm sure you were lovely people who gave him the most loving home he could wish for...but god does he suck."
"Y/N?" Lockwood called from a distance. She waved to the headstones before hurrying back, before he could see where she had been loitering.
"I need to drop the report off at DEPRAC. Want to come with? Unless you're off to meet Terence, that is." He looked away. There it was again. Gosh, would it kill him to not pick a fight for once?
"No, I'm not meeting Terence. Not that it's any of your business."
He muttered under his breath, yanking the cab door open more viciously than needed. She could feel her temper bubbling under the surface and Lockwood's was clearly only barely restrained.
"You know," he had started, jaw ticking promisingly, once they were in the elevator. "I don't understand what your problem is."
"Me? I'm not the one throwing a tantrum like a baby."
He sharply inhaled, and she defiantly stared at him, daring him to speak. The doors opened again, and a crowd of people entered, pressing them to the back of the elevator. He seemed to decide against whatever he was going to say.
"Y/N L/N..." he murmured, exhaling through his teeth. They were nearly touching, but not quite, but she could feel the vibrations of him talking. "You are one tough nut to crack."
"Bite me." Her whisper was rougher than intended, but she was unable to tear her thoughts away from her irritation with him. Why was she feeling so shaken up? Stupid Lockwood was stupid, big deal; it wasn't anything new.
"Oh, I think I'd leave that to Terence."
"What is your obsession -" She felt this wave of euphoria wash over her as realisation struck. "Oh my god. Oh. My god. You're jealous."
"Am not." But he looked too disturbed to seem even remotely convincing. They had reached their floor and he was quickly walking away from her, and for once she didn't mind running to keep up with his long strides. Her eyes glittered with glee. Oh, this was absolutely delicious.
"You are so. You can't stand the thought of Terence and I together, can you?" She crowed, only mildly breathless, relishing his discomfort, her words honey on her tongue. Ah, at last, sweet, sweet revenge for his months of hell. "Does it hurt? Does it sting? Does it eat away at you on the ins-"
"Please. Like you've never been jealous either." The gleam in his eye looked so knowing that she felt herself falter.
"How'd you know?"
"I didn't. I...what was it? Ah, yes, 'looked at the evidence and made an educated guess.'"
She shoved his shoulder, and he just laughed. "Still not as down bad as you, idiot."
He slammed the report on the counter, frightening the poor receptionist. "I am not 'down bad.' But you can't pretend like who you're seeing is none of my business."
"But it isn't! Why do you care so much anyway, huh?"
"I just do."
"Then make it your business." Something unstable was climbing up her throat, and the nervous look in his eye told her that he was thinking about the same thing as her - that time he had pulled her lips to his.
"I...I can't."
"Why not?"
"Because...because you're the most insufferable person I've ever had the misfortune of meeting-"
"At least I'm not a completely emotionally avoidant dickhead-"
"An emotionally avoidant dickhead whose throat you stuck your tongue down-"
She shrieked, and before she knew what she was doing, she was pulling her arm back, and she heard the thud of her fist connecting with his cheekbone. From the corner of her eye, she saw a figure that looked suspiciously like Barnes hurriedly back out of the lobby.
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It was all over before it even began. The uppercut was enough to shut him up for the ride back to 35 Portland Row, where she forced him into a chair at the dining table and pulled out their first aid kit. She
"I'm sorry I punched you." Not even a little, but she had to be the first to try to make amends. Not that he would have the initiative. He just sullenly looked down at the table, twitching his cheek a little. "Is there something you'd like to say to me? An apology, perhaps?"
"Apologise for what? The truth?"
She clenched her teeth. "It was crass, and in public -"
"Big deal. I'm always crass in public with you. What was so bad about it this time that you just had to beat me up?"
"I didn't beat you up -"
"Oh, so I just did this to myself, then?"
She had promised George that she would wait till he was better, but she wasn't sure how much longer she could hold out on strangling him. "Enough with the snark."
"I'll tell you why it bothered you so much."
"Lockwood."
"Because it was true. It was the truth, and it hurt, and you couldn't stand it-"
For the second time in less than a span of an hour, she saw red. She stumbled out the door, grabbing the golf club that was in the stand with their rapiers, and there she was now. George wasn't too upset; he seemed to enjoy the view from his bedroom window.
"Y/N -"
"SHUT UP!"
"Y/N, please, let's talk about this -"
"Oh, now you want to talk?"
"Please, just put down the golf club -"
"FUCK YOU!" She continued demolishing his car until he finally wrestled the club out of her hands.
"What's gotten into you?" Lockwood cried, and he looked concerned enough to give her pause. She blinked her murderous rage away, regret overwhelming her. Numbly, she allowed herself to be guided back inside, where Lockwood made a cup of tea for both of them.
“Oh god.” She buried her face in her hands, the embarrassment finally catching up to her. Had she completely lost her mind? “I’m such a mess. I’m sorry you had to see all that.”
“S’okay.”
“I’ll leave now.”
“Hey - what for?”
“Are...are you kidding me? I just smashed your car to bits. I might be medically certified insane.”
“I don’t mind. I’ll put up with it.”
“...you’ll hate that. It’s rotten work.”
“Not to me. Not if it’s you.” She exhaled, watching the tiny daisies at the windowsill sigh and flutter in the barely-there wind. He aggrieved her like a bad habit she couldn't quite kick.
“You’re…a masochist.”
“I’m aware.”
“No, I don’t think you are.”
“Why else would I have held out so long for you?”
The teasing was back, and she let out a short, indignant gasp before walking towards him and sitting in his lap. Her eyelashes grazed his cheek as she traced the dressing on his bruise. Pity that his gorgeous face had been the only punching bag in the vicinity.
“I’m always going to hate loving you. You know that, right?”
“Know it? It’s my crowning achievement.”
She punched his shoulder and he let out an exaggerated wheeze that made her laugh despite herself. She shifted and leaned on his chest as they watched the sunlight glimmer over the shards that littered the driveway. He was both the light of her life and the insanity that drove her to destruction. She didn’t feel so bad about the car anymore.
Serves him right for fucking her up this way.
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"So...Lockwood."
They hadn't been overly obvious about their relationship, but it wasn't exactly something they could keep from George and Lucy. Lucy was back from her trip and was tickled pink by the smashed up Volvo in the driveway.
"Yeah. Lockwood."
"You do realise that he is absolutely batshit crazy?"
She smiled into her tea. “Yeah. You’re probably right. But,” she smiled innocently. “I am my father’s daughter. Maybe I can fix him.”
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runningwithfangs · 24 days
Text
Vampire Chronicles Book Review/Rant #2
The Vampire Lestat
I think we can all agree, what a turnaround! So completely different from IWTV. I’m not sure what I was expecting, probably something more like a Midnight Sun (Twilight from Edwards’ perspective) or a Slayer Chronicles (to the Vladimir Tod series) Turned out to be more of The Saga of Larten Crepsley (to the CIrque du Freak series)(I was raised by vampire books, apparently).
Anyway, what a ride! About halfway through I was feeling a little frustrated that we hadn’t gotten to when he met Louis yet, but I was also having so much fun reading about this Chaos BisexualTM. So much happens, so many dumb Lestat adventures, Nicki, Lestat’s turning, Gabrielle, Armand and his coven, Marius, Akasha and Enkil, Louis and Claudia, Rockstar music video films, vampires ablaze out of nowhere! 10/10 Romp, I had so much fun reading this.
Lestat is so many things, he’s cheery and determined to brighten the day of those he loves, he’s been beaten and abused by his own family, he hopes and dreams like any young person, yet also deeply fears the meaninglessness of life itself. I can for sure relate. 
I also enjoyed the way it was written, easy and lighthearted, even in darker parts Lestat describes things with humor to mask the pain.
Favorites:
I appreciate when Lestat takes the time to describe the wonders of the modern world, what stands out to him, what doesn’t. He’s blown away by film, excited by women in bare arms, that even poor people could eat meat. In later books he’s so excited by pens that can write forever. Super interesting to think about, and the though experiment of “what would a vampire think of world through the ages” is one of my favorite things about vampire media.
Lestat and Nicki’s relationship is so cute! Their drunken afternoons in “the conversation,” they take turns comforting each other from their familial demands and expectations. They go to Paris and live in a shitty apartment while they work their asses off in the theater trying to pay rent. It’s almost like a CBS sitcom, but like, in a good way. It’s so devastating to me that Vampire Nicki ended up like he did.
Gabrielle, my love! What a queer icon. She cuts her hair, wears men’s clothes, even Lestat gets in on it, trying to find her the manliest jewelry. I think about the freedom female vampires must experience in this series a lot. Gabrielle clearly hated being a mom and wife and living in a crumbling castle. And now she is finally free, freer than any of her wildest fantasies.
When Lestat asks her if she had become a vampire first, wouldn’t she also send money and gifts to the family and keep caring for them, and she’s just like, oh psssh yeah, of course 😂 
Armand/Lestat being worsties.
Marius spending eons hiding Those Who Must Be Kept only to pick up Lestat, go: I like ya kid, you got spunk, let me spill all the vampire secrets. Only for the Most Special BoyTM
When we FINALLY get the 3 whole paragraphs about Louis and Claudia at the end of the book, it’s not enough, but what is there is lovely. “Even in his crudest moments, Louis touched the tenderness in me” “But I loved him, plain and simple” UGH, Anne PLEASE. 
Least Favorites:
Why did Lestat slip his mom the tongue 😭
Not enough Louis 😡 (Little did I know there would only be crumbs of him from then on)
Vampire Nicki 😣 He hated Lestat in the end and then Armand cut his hands off! He deserved better. 
Smutt:
Nicki and Lestat getting drunk and making out at the tavern! Love that for them.
I am NOT counting Lestat/Gabrielle kisses.
If I missed something maybe y’all can let me know.
Nonsense Meter:
Medium nonsense, I think. Especially considering the books to come. 
Lestat flying and SCREAMING at the Theater. Lestat showing up to the catacombs to utterly destroy the cult with facts and logic and “New evil for a new era.” Lestat giving into the intrusive thoughts to kiss Akasha and play her the violin only to nearly get killed by Enkil, and OF COUSE, the whole Rockstar Lestat thing, with the music videos and the song lyrics and the Halloween concert. 
Misc:
It was Marius’s fault for sending Lestat to go live a human life! Thank you/goddamn you.
I am confused by how at the start of the book Lestat is interested in rock, he goes to jam with Satan’s Night out and loves the attention that would come with being a rockstar, but it’s only after he reads IWTV and gets all upset about it that he decides he’s going to get Louis’s attention by becoming a world-famous rockstar. “I ached for him, ached for his romantic illusions [...] his physical presence.” But once Louis does find Lestat, not much happens.
I was so excited for the reunion once Louis find’s Lestat and his band chilling before the concert, would they fight?! Would they make out?! And it was. . .ok, Louis tries to warn Lestat, and they dance around their feelings, and that’s kind of it. Lestat doesn’t even ask about the book!
Then I was excited that Gabrielle (post-concert disaster rescue) got to meet her shit son’s ex-husband! Was she going to be disapproving (no one is good enough for her boy), furious about the release of IWTV, or maybe try to convince them to give up mortal world shenanigans and go climb waterfalls with her? Nope, we got nothing, just wondering if it was Marius setting all the fledglings on fire. Anne . . . I don’t get it.
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pucksalotguys · 1 year
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Maybe, Forever- Chapter 2
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Chapter 1 link
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Sidney does his best to keep to himself after seeing Mia but after getting some information from a friend and ex teammate of Lucas, he’s on high alert. Things get a bit harder for him as he reaches out to Mia and gets shunned when he personally invites her to a team event. It doesn’t get any better when he gets told by someone on the team that Lucas is back to his old ways and coincidentally gets a text from Mia
(First off thank you so so much to all of you who gave me feedback and enjoyed chapter 1 ! Means a lot especially given this is a new series that will be slightly darker. Here’s chapter 2, enjoy and let me know what you think 💕)
The morning of the game, Sidney awoke with the previous night's actions and Mia in his head. He packed his suitcase for the flight after the game and decided to call Nate to see if he could provide him with any additional information about Lucas.
He pressed his contact and smiled as he answered back "Hey man, how's it going?"
"Good," Nate said, grinning. "Is everything all right?"
"It's all good.  You probably heard we got Lucas Russo here as the new guy," Sidney nodded.
"Sorry about that, but I'm glad he's gone. Despite his success on the ice, he is not a good person. I hate to say it, but keep an eye out for him."
"How about his wife? Is she nice?" Sidney questioned "You know for the group ?"
"Mia is the sweetest person you could ever meet. Everyone here is going to miss her the most. When we were able to see her, she treated everyone as if they were family "Nate stated
The last comment made him a bit confused, "When you were able to see her ? Her husband plays on the team, she didn't go see him play ?"
Nate sighed "Listen I don't wanna say anything that could hurt her or have word get back to him alright ? Keep this between you and I please, I mean that"
"I will.I just want to make sure everything is in order. I was over at their new place here and...I'm not sure. I got a strange vibe."
"She spoke a bit more with Charlotte, and I learned that when he first joined the league, he cheated on her. When they moved to Nashville, it happened again, and she decided to leave him. He was a complete mess and made promises, so she returned just before they moved to Tampa. Then it happened again when they moved here. This time, there was a complete outbreak of yelling and screaming. It was a lot, and I saw it happen with my own eyes, they rented the house across from me."
"So he cheats?" Sidney inquired quietly.
"All the time, except this time when she found out she had enough. She screamed at him and I saw him grab her like really hard and then he took her inside and by the time police came she just came out and told them it was a misunderstanding and that was it” Nate said “I didn’t see her again for weeks until the playoffs and she was super friendly and smiling but you could just tell something was up” "Are you saying he hits her?" Sidney questioned, concerned
"I'm not sure about now, but I know he did something to her a few months ago. I know he did because when everyone found out what happened here, they kept it quiet. Coach stated that he would leave after the season, but that didn't happen, so management let him go at the deadline.He's with you because the league is big on him and they're hoping a new team can help him."
"What the hell is she doing with him then ?"
"She's known him since they were kids. It's probably hard, but don't tell anyone. This is strictly between you and me. Keep an eye out for Mia and tell her Charlotte and I miss her. We'll see you guys eventually. She's honestly one of the nicest people I know, when you get to know her she's really funny too. Don't let Lucas change your opinion of her"
“I met her once and she’s really sweet, I don’t like him though. Now with this even less, I don’t understand how he could do that to her.” “Just try not to intervene, I know it sounds bad but unless something truly terrible happens or she’s the one who says something then just don’t do anything” Sidney sighed “yeah alright, I’ll see you soon” He hung up and finished packing for the day and headed to the arena at his usual time. He had a lot of information and knew he had to keep quiet, but walking into the locker room and seeing Lucas sit right in front of him was a test.
"Hey Sid," Lucas said, "you look nice."
"Thanks" Sidney nodded, setting his things down "Night of the Assists is the night after we get back from the road by the way. It is mandatory for all players, wives, and girlfriends to assist."
"It's mandatory for wives? Why ? Mia is not required to attend any event. It's not her thing," Lucas said, "I'll show up without her, it's fine."
"As I previously stated, it is preferable that she attend.  Is there a problem?" Sidney questioned "Sure seems like it"
Lucas let out a sigh. "Warn a guy next time about this crap. My wife stays at home, this business isn't her thing"
“Noted” Sidney said as he stood up “But for this night, it’s her business. So show up and be ready to work” “I’d like a good warning next time” Lucas said back “I get I’m new and all and you wanna feel me out but all this is gonna stress my wife out now so thanks” The statement made Sidney feel bad, but for the sake of the game, he shook it off and went out to play, trying not to think about Mia. When he was on the ice, his gaze was drawn to the usual spot where other wives and girlfriends sat, and she was nowhere to be found. He changed quickly when they returned to the locker room after the last period and made his way to some of the wives before leaving
"Oh hey Sid," Kayla Dumoulin said, smiling. "What's up?"
"I just wanted to make sure everyone was ready for Night of the Assists," he lied "but I see we're missing someone."
“Mia” she nodded “She couldn’t make it sadly, I called and she didn’t answer me nor has she answered my texts yet. I’ll try again tomorrow” Sidney nodded as he tried to hide his concern “Oh well um I guess I’ll check in another day then” “Here’s her number if you wanna give it to management so they can give her a call” Kayla offered “Oh yeah cool” he nodded as he put it in his phone “See you guys, take care” He walked to his car and noticed Lucas’s car still parked giving him the indication he was still at the arena. Looking down at the number in his phone he took a long sigh and dialed it rather than sending a text “H-Hello ?” a groggy voice answered on the other line “Mia ?” Sidney asked “Uh is this Mia Russo ?” “This is she, who’s this ?” she asked confused “It’s me….Sidney” he grinned “Sorry I got your number from Kayla, I thought you’d be here tonight for the game, the girls went over the theme for Night of the Assists and I just thought you’d be watching Lucas play” “Oh hey” Mia said softly “Um well I don’t usually attend most games, I prefer to stay home and just keep to myself and about that event I don’t think I’ll be able to attend. Events like that aren’t really my thing, I don’t mean to be rude of course” she said quickly “I can donate a check if needed, just tell me the amount” Sidney shook his head “No no that’s not needed at all. I actually spoke with Lucas earlier and told him you’re required to come. I know you said it’s not your thing but it’s fun, it’s really fun and the theme this year is Mardi Gras so you can dress up. You don’t need to do much, unless you want to of course, but I think it’d be nice to have you there. You dress up and just enjoy the night, will you think about it ?” “I can’t guarantee anything” she said quietly “But Sidney, can I ask you for a favor ?” “Go ahead” he nodded “Thanks for reaching out, you’re a nice person” Mia said “But please don’t contact me again” Before Sidney could even say anything back she hung up on him, he drove home with her on his mind knowing he was stepping into dangerous territory. He barely knew her yet he knew her background and that was enough for him to know he wanted to be by her 
************************
Mia walked around the apartment alone as she looked out the small balcony, it was now 4 days into the road trip and not once in the day had Lucas bothered to call or text her. She sat and called him one last time just before 9 and waited as it rang and heard his voice on the other end
“What ?” Lucas groaned “Mia, what the hell ?” “You didn’t call me all day” she whispered “I got worried” “Worried about what ? If something happened you’d know right away. We just got our asses kicked, did you even bother to watch the fucking game ?” he snapped She shook her head, feeling nervous despite him being hundreds of miles away ”I…I was too busy” “Too busy ? Doing what ?” Lucas retorted “Let me guess, making my place into a garden with all those smelly ass flowers ? When I get back they better be outta sight Mia” “It’s my place too” Mia whispered “It’s both of ours, we’re husband and wife” “And who brings the money in ? Me, right. Listen, this is a new start for us, you said it yourself babes. Just do what I ask of you and there won’t be any issues. I work my ass off for us to have everything we want. I love you but damn, give me a break. I’m just having dinner, that’s it. I love you, I can’t wait to see you okay ? And well, be ready for me just how I like” Mia gave a small chuckle and was about to respond when she heard another female voice, she could hear Lucas shush them and mumble something she couldn’t quite understand and couldn’t even get herself to say anything as she simply hung up and shut her phone off. 
In her mind she knew what was going on, she knew exactly what was going on but she also knew without Lucas, she was no one. With everything that happened in the past, things she still didn’t wanna talk about, she knew that this time it was best to just forget and make the best of her current situation.
The next morning, Sidney was up early and drinking coffee while taking pain relievers for his headache.  He groaned as he heard a knock on the door. and  looked at the clock in his room; it was only 8 a.m. and the previous night after the game he had gotten little to no sleep
As he opened the door, he was surprised to see a hotel manager  "Is everything okay?"
"One of the guests on this floor reported a noise complaint; of course, we want the best service for all of you, and I just wanted to personally check in to make sure everything was fine."
"Yes, someone was a little loud last night" he admitted "But it's a hotel, so it's fine." Sidney shook his head "Floor above here, heard it all if you catch me drift"
"We apologize sincerely Mr. Crosby. We appreciate and look forward to you and the team staying here when you're in the city. It won't happen again"
"It's alright" Sidney grinned politely “Things happen”
He gathered his belongings and entered the elevator as Kris and P.O approached. "You guys hear the commotion last night?" he asked.
"Who do you think reported it?" sighed Kris. "Shit was loud all night."
"I was opening the door for room service earlier this morning and I saw something….well, I saw someone," P.O said.
Sidney raised his brow "Who ?"
"Lucas" P.O said "It was like 6 and I was just getting in from the gym, he looked a mess. His face and neck were covered in makeup…isn't he married ?" he asked
"Let's not get into that" Kris shook his head "Either way, it was him. He was the one eyeing those girls when we got here. I don’t know much about him but what he does with his wife is his business”
“So you agree with cheating ?” Sidney asked
“No. I agree with staying out of business that isn’t mine” Kris corrected “No one wins by snitching and Mia seems sweet. Maybe let’s just keep this between us”
Sidney said nothing as he got out of the elevator first once they got to the lobby. He made his way out and like some weird sign, there was Lucas ordering coffee without a care in the world
“Don’t bother” Kris said quietly
He nodded and followed him out, not bothering to sign anything or take pictures as he got in the bus and waited for it to load so they could head to the airport and go home. He took out his phone as it buzzed and read a text
If we’re gonna be friends, don’t text or call me. I’ll be the one to reach out
“Mia” Sidney whispered lowly as he looked at the message and grinned
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rebouks · 1 year
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Previous | Next
Transcript:
Skyler: How do you feel about returning to normality? Oscar: Erm.. I’m not sure. I’m looking forward to it, obviously; I just hope no one makes a fuss. It’s embarrassing, being the centre of attention, being praised. I wish I had my own place in the arse end of nowhere.
Skyler: We need to face what makes us uncomfortable sometimes. We can’t avoid reality forever. It’s important to continue working with your assigned therapist; they’ll help you understand what your triggers are, which ones to avoid, and which ones require some healthier coping mechanisms. What do you imagine being the biggest hurdle?
Oscar: [scoff laughs] Among other things.. familial distress? Skyler: Do you feel resentful when you think about your family, your parents? Oscar: [sighs] I gave up that grudge a while ago… I’m starting to think half of it was in my head.
Skyler: That doesn’t make it any less real. It’s okay to ask for what you need from them, even if it’s just some space. Oscar: I’ll try to remember that. Skyler: You can always return if you find yourself struggling, but I have a feeling you’ll manage.
Amy: Aren’t you nervous? Oscar: Not really. Tristen: The last time I left, I relapsed within a day; this ain’t my first rodeo.
Amy: Triss! He doesn’t need to hear that. Tristen: You just gotta steer clear of any bad influences.. your mates n’ stuff, y’know? Oscar: I don’t really have anyone like that in my life… I’m the bad influence.
Amy: Well, you can’t exactly avoid yourself. Tristen: Eh, they must think you’re doing okay if they’re letting you leave. Oscar: Technically, we can leave whenever we want.
Amy: Ugh, I wish I could stay here forever. I just know I’m gonna fuck up. Tristen: [snorts] That’s part of the process. Oscar: Don’t you want to go home?
Amy: [scoffs] No. I’d rather go back to the shelter-.. ooh, we should rent a place between us n’ live together! Tristen: Uhm.. no offence to Oscar, but I don’t fancy living with his screaming brat. Oscar: [tuts] He’s not gonna be a brat.
Amy: You sure you don’t need a nanny? You’re gonna be sleep deprived. Oscar: Hah! I’m used to that. Tristen: I hate to break it to you, but I don’t think he’s interested. Besides, you’ve got a ten-bedroom mansion waiting for you.
Amy: More like a prison. Oscar: Thanks for the offer, though I’m pretty sure I’ll cope. Tristen: How aren’t you shitting a brick? A whole ass being is gonna be dependent on you for years.
Oscar: I’m excited more than anything. Amy: Awh, that’s sweet. At least you have something to look forward to. Tristen: Whatever floats your boat, I guess.
Oscar: You’re leaving soon though, right? Tristen: Yeah! I think I’m gonna find a new place first, I need a fresh start. Dominik: C’mon guys, you know the drill. Lights out in ten.
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johnwickb1tsch · 29 days
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Okay, okay, okay- Hear me out. The brain is finally braining, and I don't know if it's because I was listening to too much 'i hate everything about you' and 'animal' (by chase holfelder) last night (despite being a metalhead 😂) but the following idea came to me regarding bittersweet: APOLOGIES FOR THE EXTREMELY LONG RANT
So! Obviously the reader and John are still very early into their "relationship", and I can definitely see us, the reader, becoming more cold or emotionally distant somewhere along the lines if, say, John for an example, accidentally crossed a line that he definitely shouldn't have. Obviously we can't quite get ourselves to truly hate him, no matter what, but I could imagine the reader having a moment where the switch in their brain just flips, causing them to actually be able to repress their desires and love towards the man, and instead focus on the fear, the anger, the resentment that they know they should be feeling. (Thank you @sweetwolfcupcake for planting the seed of this idea into my head 😌) And then, taking this idea further, what if something truly traumatic happens. I'm talking the reader getting kidnapped / attacked by one of the many enemies that John has, (wouldn't that be ironic? From one cruel, but loving captor to another that is much, much worse 😏) which would obviously be emotionally scarring for them. And maybe, just maybe, this might be the last straw for them to genuinely snap, considering that they've been repressing their emotions in hopes of either fooling John into messing up and allow them to escape, orrrrrrr, because they're sincerely at the edge of their rope, just barely trying to grasp onto the last bits of their remaining sanity, that's been slowly withering away with every second they spend trapped, getting punished whenever they're.. well... themselves really. So obviously John is.. Well... John 😂and if there's one thing he won't ever allow, it's the person he loves getting taken from him (again), so after rescuing/saving us, and promptly dealing with (killing) whoever got us into that situation in the first place, (also the thought of the reader having to kill someone for the first time, probably out of self defense, will live in my head rent free forever) he's naturally shaken up, no matter whether we actually got hurt badly or not. Buuuuuut- Here comes the fun part, where the weight of everything just comes crashing down on us, and boy oh boy, Johnny dearest is in for a treat. I'm talking yelling, cursing, screaming, sobbing, pounding our fist on his chest and demanding an answer or an explanation as to why things had to be this way, even though the more rational side us would probably able to understand by now that not even John knows the answer to that. AND THEN! Comes the eye opening bit, where in the raging storm of us just fucking yelling and cursing at him, we actually say something that finally gets through that thick skull of his. Something like: "So you can either stop this bullshit, and give me a chance to fall in love with you naturally like I could have done if you just hadn't fucking kidnapped me, or you can watch the person you claim to love wither away, until they're nothing but a shell of who they used to be. And by then it won't matter whether I'm dead or alive, because I'm merely going to be a husk of myself either way. A thoughtless, emotionless, soulless fucking being, and it won't fucking matter how much you cry and beg me for forgiveness, or try convincing yourself that I truly love you, because we both know that it will never be as genuine as it could've been if you just accepted the truth." ... Dramatic much? Maybe. AM I STILL A WHORE FOR A GOOD, EMOTIONAL (like pulling at the heartstrings, "who the fuck is chopping onions rn" kind of emotional) REDEMPTION???? YESSSSSSSSSSS. Again, sorry for the long rant, I hope it's okay? Idk, I can get really caught up in my random, late night ideas 😂
Hope you have a wonderful day btw! The latest chapter was DE-LI-CI-OUS. 😌
Spoooky???? Did you hack my computer and get into my WIP?? Or are you reading my mind??? Bahaaa, I've written 9 chapters ahead of what I've posted, and there are SO many points here that are right on track. I don't want to spoil anything, BUT YOU ARE SO ASTUTE!! 👏👏👏
Sooo....Lil Spooky's gonna take over Bittersweet from here, ✌😂
If you feel like writing a spin off of your own, be my guest. I love it when creativity begets creativity. You obviously have more than enough tools in your toolbox to be a great fic writer, your character analysis is 💯💯💯.
😘
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ask-tighnari · 9 months
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could you please tell me more about that monopoly game?
I've asked around those of us that were there, but bare in mind Nahida and Layla are the only ones who didn't have alcohol, so some of these may have been remembered incorrectly. Also, Faruzan wasn't there, something relevent to her old friends came up and that was obviously fairly important to her.
Layla was rather quiet, but she did do rather well at the beginning, on a par with Nahida & Wanderer.
As promised, moments from Monopoly, as chronological as possible:
Cyno: It's an eight player game, who wants to team up?
Wanderer: I'll just watch.
Candace: I'm happy going with Dehya.
Dehya: I don't want to share my win!
Kaveh: What makes you think you'll win?
Haitham: Can you save your screaming match for when we're actually playing the game?
Nilou: I'll go with Candace. Hydro girls!
-
Dehya, after Kaveh rolled two double 6s: This isn't fair! How come he gets to move so far?
Me: He's following the rules, you can't complain.
Kaveh: *rolls a third double 6* FUCK
Dehya: *bursts out laughing*
Kaveh: This is the best luck I've ever had, can I just keep this?
Haitham: No. You're off to jail.
-
Dehya: Are the stations worth it? They're rather expensive.
Cyno: They have really high rent when you collect them all and it's rather easy to have people land on them.
Dehya: ... Suddenly I'm a capitalist.
-
Nahida: Can someone move my piece, I can't reach it.
Kaveh: Sure. That puts you on Park Lane, right?
Nahida: Yep!
Wanderer: BUY IT!
Nahida: I can wait for later.
Wanderer: This is the first property you've landed on and it's the second best, if you don't buy it, someone else will and you will regret it forever. Largely because I will remind you every day.
Cyno: What happened to just watching?
Wanderer: I want to watch Kaveh suffer more.
Kaveh: I'M STILL IN JAIL, I'M NOT PAYING ANY RENT!
-
Cyno, just visiting jail: Hi. Is it nice?
Kaveh: I hate you.
-
Nahida (now with more properties): *lands on Mayfair*
Wanderer: BUY IT BUY IT BUY IT BUY IT!!!!!
Nahida: I don't have enough money.
Wanderer: Mortgage everything you own.
Nahida: It's still not enough...
Wanderer: How much more do we need?
Wanderer: Kaveh, would you like a get out of jail free card for 39 whatever currency this is?
Nahida: We can't sell it to him!
Wanderer: Do you want to win?
Nahida: Yes.
Wanderer: We're selling it. 50?
Kaveh: No! I'll take it for 39!
Wanderer: 60?
Kaveh: STOP!
-
Me: Isn't this station still for sale?
Dehya: Don't you dare.
Candace: It is.
Dehya: Tighnari.
Me: I've got plenty of money.
Dehya: Tighnari!
Me: I'll take it.
Candace: It's yours!
Dehya: NO! *throws Wanderer's hat at my head*
Cyno: Archons, are you okay?
Me: I'm great, I stole the station from her. I'm never selling this.
-
After, honest to Archons, *everyone* landed on Mayfair in a row:
Wanderer: Can you afford to un-mortgage all the greens?
Nahida: Not quite.
Wanderer: Nilou, Candace. How much are you willing to give for Whitehall?
Haitham: If they sell it mortgaged, you have to pay to un-mortgage it, but it will complete your set and you can build on them.
Candace & Nilou: *whispered discussion*
Nilou: 150.
Wanderer: That's enough for mortgages.
Nahida: But we won't be able to afford rent if we land on the reds or the station. 170.
Candace: 155.
Nahida: 160, lowest offer.
Candace: We can do 160.
Nilou: Alright, 160.
Wanderer: *evil laughter as they un-mortgage all three greens, then roll*
Nahida: Free parking - HOW MUCH MONEY???
Wanderer: WE'RE RICH!!!
Kaveh: ... I have one money and I'm about to go onto their line.
-
Kaveh: That's going to bankrupt me!
Haitham: You could sell me Piccadilly.
Kaveh: No.
Haitham: You'll still have Old Kent Road left.
Kaveh: Yeah, the cheapest place on the entire board.
Haitham: It could be worse, Tighnari's in jail with one station that no one's landed on for the past 5 turns.
Me: I have 1500 in my pocket, though. The second I get out, I can whizz through and still afford Vine Street. [Layla had the other 2 oranges.]
-
Cyno, landing on Mayfair with 3 houses: Oh no.
Wanderer: We'll take some of your cards instead of money.
Cyno: You have the most expensive side of the board, I'm not giving you more cards. Does anyone have enough money for this?
*Various no's*
Me: I have plenty.
Cyno: *long sigh* What do you want from me?
Me: I will give you 1000. That's enough to sustain you for a few turns. In trade, I want your entire set of reds, fit with hotels.
Cyno:
Me: I won't give you any money if you don't give me that exactly.
Cyno: *downs the rest of his drink in one* Deal.
-
Nahida and Wanderer won. Significantly. They genuinely bankrupted everyone, including the bank itself, and had every single property in the end, after about 4 hours. Wanderer's fun to play with, I've suggested we start inviting him to the TCG nights at the tavern.
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dontcallmecarrie · 2 years
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In Endgame it seemed like the producers wanted Tony dying to be the only way he could be at peace. Like Pepper literally tells him 'Rest now', as if sacrificing himself to destroy the enemy that's been haunting him since Avengers 1 is the only ending where he can be happy.
"Sorry meant to add this to my ask (about Tony's death in Endgame being portrayed as his only possible happy ending): The whole thing makes me want to cry. And scream. Your opinion on what was being portrayed there?"
.
Friend, I...think you're more invested in this than I am, at this point. I'm not sure if you've noticed, but I have ranted at length about my feelings on everything related to the Marvel Cinematic Universe. [Note: those are only some of the highlights. There's plenty more— I'm not even including the whole "in an interview, the writers flat-out said they didn't like the characters" thing, even.]
Beyond that, the main thing you should know about me is the fact that I have very, very limited time and energy, and prefer to focus on things I enjoy over dwelling on things I know I'll hate. Because I've seen this road before, and it never ends well, and life's got enough bs without me piling on even more.
Am I going to be forever bitter about what went down? Yes. Am I never going to let go of the fact that the writers prioritized ticket sales over the age-old art of telling a good story and threw years' worth of effort down the drain in the process? Also yes. But I refuse to let it get to me.
The MCU lived in my head rent-free for a good chunk of my childhood and teenage years, and— yeah, I mourn for the potential it once had, but if I cling to the anger I feel about how the writers butchered everyone's character arcs and consistency for *drama*, I will never know rest.
If I let myself, I know I'm capable of being incandescent with rage over how they fridged the only woman in the original Avengers' Initiative, of the way they somehow managed to make Steve "I don't like bullies, also FUCK Nazis" Rogers into someone completely unrecognizable in the span of three movies, and—
I'm tired.
Look: you probably found this blog because of my most famous fic, The War is Far From Over Now. I started writing it because I needed at least one (1) world where Tony Stark got a happy ending for all the bs the MCU kept throwing at him [and only him], and if that meant making it myself, then so be it.
When I first started, I wasn't old enough to legally drink. Originally, it was supposed to be something short and sweet, something funny— but spite made it longer, and the readers' reception meant more inspiration to go into even more detail, and then it turned into a stress relief valve for all the shit that kept going down in my life.
[I try to keep personal life bs separate from my writing, but.
Shit went down.]
So, long story short: TWiFFON started out a fun thought exercise, but ended up becoming my love letter to what the MCU used to be— and later, a eulogy for the same.
Because over a decade of being invested in the world that turned my casual interest in the comics into something more concrete, only to watch as the audience was robbed of just about every sort of resolution there possibly could have been.
This isn't my first disappointment of this type, sure: Harry Potter was the book series I learned to read English with and I'd once thought the epilogue was as bad as things could get in that regard [...boy was I wrong], and Naruto and Bleach both managed to be incredibly ??? in their finales, but.
Of all of the things that made up so much of my childhood, my favorite character was Tony Stark.
The man who tried so, very hard to do his best, and kept getting beaten down for it time and time again. Who, by all rights, should have been the villain— either as the rich white guy who apparently can do nothing right [see: Iron Man 1 onwards], or simply because it makes no sense for him to be on the same side as the heroes who lied to his face and stabbed him in the neck or back time and time again [see: Iron Man 2 onwards, special mention for Avengers: Age of Ultron and Captain America: Civil War].
Who was both the Da Vinci and Cassandra of his generation, because for all his accomplishments, nobody ever took him seriously— and never even got an "I told you so", after shit hit the fan and everyone immediately turned to him for answers [see: Iron Man 3, Avengers: Age of Ultron, Infinity War, Endgame and need I go on?]
...I could go on for hours. But I won't.
If the writers won't give it this much thought, I won't either, not anymore.
Same way I refuse to watch another Marvel movie or tv show. I'd only barely been sticking around and gritting my teeth at the writing before Endgame, but that's the movie that made me ragequit the MCU entirely.
I've moved on, trying my hand at other fandoms and hobbies to occupy my brain when I'm not working or studying. At most, I have been poking at old cartoons and comics when I feel up to retreading old ground, but...right now, the main thing I feel when I think about the movies is disappointment.
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worry-s · 9 months
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I don't know what to Do these days... I feel like I'm on a little row boat filled with cracks and holes that I've fixed with duct tape and frequent bailing but every time I go to counselling and i talk about it they tell me I'm right for patching my ship and worki g so hard at keeping it afloat. that theyre So Proud of me. And i want to Scream my lungs out because its Exaughsting but at the same time its cemented my belief that this is As good as it gets and i should just keep throwing myself best I can at my tasks. Besides it Does work. My little dance is one that is Well rehearsed to the point if i flub a step i dont even think about it and keep going. Not every day is perfect but i can keep on.
But i have so many new holes im discovering and my tape will Not hold forever and when I'm especially bored alone with my thoughts I'll start peeling away the edges. What if I did die when i was a girl what if my trauma Did make me trans What If My Whole Life Is A Lie. And I've talked about it in counselling before and Never had anyone challenge me on my Dont think about it cause im here now stance so i Dont. I Suffer and hate myself is ways that don't make sense because as wveryone tells me I'm successful right? I have a good paying union job and a partner who thinks im good and a family who loves me and a place to rent that i secured myself. Damn 24 and all that? You're living it up! But i Am Not! I am Festering in my fucking mental anguosh and every time i push it away it comes back stronger than I could ever imagine prior and knocks me on my ass. Fuck sometimes i wish i was seriously suicidal and didmt strive for anything this is Too Much Work
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percontaion-points · 11 months
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Client No 5 chapters 3 & 4
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This book review contains discussions of SW; reader discretion is advised
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Click to see the rest of the snark & image descriptions 
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Chapter 3
He’d treated me as if I was a person, not a vagina, and yet he paid me like a whore. 
I’m confused about this. She’s angry that he’s treating her with respect? And that he paid her like 3x more than the agreed upon price?
… at least the high-end escort business that I was in.
So in the previous chapter, she’d said that she looked like a trashy hooker. 
Either she’s trashy-looking, or she’s a high-end escort. I’m not sure that you can have these two things at the same time. 
I wasn’t deluded enough to think that I could do this work forever. Prostitution was hugely based on looks, at least the high-end escort business that I was in. No drugs, no violence. Just sex. In fifteen or twenty years I’d be out of work, and I planned to make sure that I was well set up by then. I paid my bills, I bought what I needed for work, and I skimped on everything else. All the extra cash I earned went into investments that would eventually buy me an apartment. Rent was killer in New York, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to afford it when I wasn’t working. 
Except that it’s pretty well-known that a high end escort’s plan to get out from under guys is to become a madam and start being in charge of other girls. 
Todd always took a “test drive” of the new girls before he hired them. He said he needed to know what he was selling, and it’s his job to make sure his girls are of high quality. Yeah, he really hated his work.
Not only gross but also highly unprofessional. 
Ally claims that this is a high-end escort service, yet Todd is acting like he’s one bitch-slap away from being a drug-dealing pimp. With the fur coat and cane. 
He wasn’t willing to test out the new guy, though.
He should, though. He has to go all the way to prove to his customers that the new guy is good!
What guy wouldn’t be overjoyed at having a live sex show on his own bed?
You can tell that this was written by somebody who thinks that working around sex 24/7 is always going to be titillating. 
I am going to scream if Todd starts jerking off as he watches Ally and Adam bang. 
I rolled my head to the side and saw that Todd had given up any pretense of being professional. He had his cock out and was rubbing it slowly, eyes glued on my swaying tits.
[...]
A glance over at our audience made me laugh. Todd wasn’t even watching us anymore—his eyes were closed as Jamie sucked his dick. He thrust hard into her mouth, adding added to my arousal.
What a disgusting pig. 
And as much as I hated it, there was a part of me that was sad I wouldn’t see Scott Walker again.
Chapter 3 summary: Ally accidentally fell asleep, which she never does because it’s unprofessional. She woke up to Scott gone, but he’d left her a note and a lot more money than agreed upon. 
On her way home, Ally’s brother, Zach, calls her up and asks her to come over. She tells the reader that Zach and Todd are BFFs, but somehow, Zach doesn’t know what Ally does for a living. She continues on and explains to the reader about how being a SWer is obviously not a life-time job, that she needs to tap out at some point. So she’s living like a pauper while saving every single thing. And that 5k that Scott left her will go a long way in her savings. 
She goes to Todd’s and Zach’s apartment, where she gives Todd his cut from her first four clients. He also briefly asks about Scott, and says that he’s Todd’s cousin. Ally gets angry, because she obviously doesn’t want to be banging anybody that could connect her to her actual identity. Todd then agrees that he should hire a new girl, and also bring a gigolo into the fold. 
Later, Todd texted Ally if she’d come over and test out a new guy he’d hired. Ally’s roommate, Jamie, also a SWer under Todd, wants to come over and watch this. So they go over to Todd’s apartment, where they meet Adam. Adam is a little green around the ears, so Ally has to give him a tiny bit of a pep-talk before he goes down on her, and has to explain stuff to him like “always wear a condom. No matter what the woman says. You don’t want to suffer the consequences.” Jamie and Todd stand and watch, but then start going at it. 
But he makes her cum, and thus earns himself an approval from Ally. But Ally can’t help but think that Adam isn’t half as good as Scott had been. 
Chapter 4
He liked to pretend to be a horse and have girls treat him as such. Apparently the girls at NYU didn’t find this particular fetish sexy, so he was forced to outsource. 
Has he tried the brony community?
“He’s under the spell of your puss, and I can’t blame the poor guy. Just do it.” 
I know what was meant here, but when I see “puss”, my brain thinks “pus”. Which… gross. 
The cool water soaked my hot skin as I broke the surface, sending a shiver through me. It was bliss.
Chapter 4 summary: Ally meets up with Zach later to go visit their parents. On the ride over, he asks Ally if she’s dating Todd, and says that Todd is bad business. Despite the fact that Zach lives with the guy and is apparently his best friend. 
Later, Ally sees a 19 year old client who is really into pony play, but outsources his enjoyment because no other girls seem to be into it. Ally then decides he’s getting too attached to her, and decides to send him to another girl later. 
On her way out of the hotel, the front desk clerk asks Ally if she’s really a SWer, and how she can get into the business. Since Todd had mentioned taking on a new girl, she agrees to meet up with Amy for lunch later that week and answer any of the girl’s questions. 
She goes home, only to find Adam and Jamie fucking. She hides in her room until they finish and Adam leaves. Jamie tells her to call Todd, which she does. Todd wants to book her all night for Scott, which is really against Ally’s rules. But Todd literally threatens to withhold clients from her until she agrees, so she does. 
Later, Ally and Jamie go to the gym, where too much time is spent showing them working out. In the sauna, Jamie asks that since Ally clearly hates men so much, she should switch teams. Ally says no, and then goes for a swim. 
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0daytrick0 · 1 year
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Well... It's been fun
As of yesterday, I made the decision to drop out of university...
It's not forever! And I'm meerly just switching universities so I can go online. But I'm about to un-enroll from James Cook University offically some time this week...
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It's definitely been fun here. And I have thoroughly enjoyed myself. I had the opportunity to move to a whole new city by myself and live completely independently. I got to attend university and be "that girl" and fall in love with academia. I even got to learn how to do long distance with my partner and learn to stay on the grind.
Unfortunately with everything going on in my life right now. I cannot stay in Townsville. There is just too many variables.
Census dates ends towards the end of this month. And ever since getting here I have not had a break. I wasn't able to get money off the government though Youth Alowence. I'm too young for AusStudy and too young to be considered an "independent" in the government's eyes. And with how much money my parents earn (despite not being financially supported by then) I am over the threshold for an allowance for youth alowence. Long story short I have to rely on a job. But it has been tough finding one.
I have been here since the start of February. And only managed to successfully pass two job interviews out of three. However, both jobs I ended up doing were terrible.
The first job was corrupt and evil. They overcharged their customers, didn't care about their workers, delayed pay by days at a time and swearing in the groupchat was a common occurrence from the owner himself (depsite there being kids involved...).
The second job was better morally. But the owner was really mean. I only had my second day today and she was so rude. I spent the whole day being screamed up over simple mistakes. I would have to put a cookie on top of every coffee. However, sometimes I would completely forget and she would scream at me to do it. Telling me to remember. She wasn't just rude to me but rude to another new girl. I don't think she realises that if she continues to scream at her workers , chances are they will keep making mistakes... I don't know, I could be wrong... But I feel like that's the case (*insert sarcasm here).
Anyway. After realising how tough it is to get a job, finally getting a sh!t job and just being bullied by the owners, and being in financial debt constantly, I think it's time I went home ...
I cannot financially afford to live here. My best friend has been paying my rent and helping where she can while my partner has been sending me money for food and fuel. The fact that I can't get any financial government support due to my age and everything that has happened since I left home, it would be stupid to stay.
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I do love the university here. And the friends I have made. But after getting my first speeding ticket (only one more away from loosing my liscense for 3 months) the second week of being here, and a close family member being in a car crash and loosing a leg. It's been instense to just focus on uni. Then the fact that my partner cannot financially afford to live on his own on one income and support me. It just is not realistic to push through anymore...
As I said, census date is coming up and I have had to be quick at making a decision at what I should do. I want to stay and pursue uni and be "that girl" but I hate working here. I hate being here by myself and above all else, I miss my partner.
The fact that a couple cannot live independently from one another in today's economy does not shock me. But it does upset me. I thought I could make it work. But without financial assistance from the government. It's not happening. Plus every job I have been at has been so rude. So immature. And I don't put up with jobs like that. No matter how desperate I am. I guess pride has a little to do with it. But I would rather be homeless then work at a job I dread.
I am genuinely interested in learning psychology and I really do want to persure a Bachelor of Psychological Science. It just won't be here. I need something that is flexible. Something that can allow myself to support myself.
I don't regret coming here. Despite how expensive it has been. I do not regret one second of it. It's been tough. The toughest thing I have ever had to do. But I'm proud of myself. I did so much on my own. Suffered so much on my own. And I'm still here with a smile on my face ready to combat the next challenge.
I am thankful I had the opportunity to come here. As I K owe if I didn't, and just chose to do it online in the first place, I would regret it. I would regret not jumping in the deep end and giving myself a challenge. Seeing what I'm capable of. Seeing what I could do and what living in a city is like. What it's like to be essentially single and struggling.
I am very greatful to have to opportunity to do this and still go home without a giant debt over my head (thank you census date 🙏)
I got to attend university like I always wanted. I got to learn how to be independent and rely upon myself and my own willpower. I got to see how strong I am when the world throws everything it has at me. And above all else, I got to try something with the opportunity to still go home by the end of it.
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I will admit, it is sad that I won't be able to pursue this part of my dream. Attending a campus and making uni friends. Having study dates and feeling the academia atmosphere all around. But sometimes we have to sacrifice some parts of our dream to have to overall end result. I want to one day be a registered psychologist. I can't do that staying here. Not successfully at least. I can already feel myself slipping mentally and I don't honestly know how much longer I could put up with it before I fell into a pit. Feeling burnt-out was definitely something that was going to occur within the next few weeks and really came down to only being a matter of time.
It sucks that I have to leave. But at the end of the day, I still get to say "oh yeah, I studied at the JCU campus in Townsville. I've been there." Not alot of people get to even say that. But I do. I got to experience everything I wanted to. And for that I am grateful.
But finding a good job, having a good income, being able to deal with all the background noise without being distracted. It's just not realistic to stay here and find out.
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Essentially my plan now is to just start packing. Unfortunately for me, the roads are still blocked due to torrential rains and flooding. And even after the roads clear, they are going to be severely damaged. So driving is most definitely not an option.
For me to get back home in time to assist my partner with house hunting and moving, I'm going to have to leave my car and most of my stuff here. It's unfortunate, but I don't have a house to put it in anymore anyway. So it's not the end all.
I'm packing my car this week and leaving it at his grandparents. They are then going to drive me to the airport and I'm going to fly back home. I will be back home by 11.30am and finally get to see my boo. Which Im really excited about.
I then get to sort out the housing situation and try to find a house to rent out.
It's not going to be easy. It never is. And I'm probably going to be homeless for a few months. But it won't be forever.
Once we get a place, and I get a good job, I'm going to look at CQU online and see what I need to do to make it happen. It sad that I will probably have to postpone my studies by another year. But I know the curriculum now and have the textbook. So I can't spend this year studying and getting ahead so next year I'm top of my class. At least thats the plan.
This situation isn't ideal or favourable. But sometimes things suck. And it's up to you to make a decision on what to do. And it comes down to being realistic. I'm not going to give up on my dreams just like that. I'm just meerly making it more ideal in my favour so I can get the best results.
Fingers crossed 🤞🍀 everything goes to plan this week. I have alot to do and alot to organise before leaving early friday morning. But I believe I can do this. I know I got this in the bag.
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miralrd · 1 year
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Best nosleep stories of all time
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Best nosleep stories of all time skin#
My eyes bulged like a child’s when I saw the bottle. “We should talk,” she held up a fifth of whiskey and wiggled it. “Nadia, what the fuck,” I said with my mouth full. I jumped and spilled my chips and salsa all down my shirt. It wasn’t intentional, our home was one of those suburban monstrosity’s with thick carpets that swallowed sound. One night when I was watching TV, she had snuck up behind me. When I told her that I wasn’t going to rent a place yet but move downstairs instead, she didn’t nod or acknowledge me, she just walked away. Nadia had been too furious to even speak with me. The next week I was living in the basement while the lawyers worked it all out. She had plenty of the stuff and hardly ever spent it. I wanted some of her money.īut just enough to live on. She just stared at the grass and cried.īut we were adults, we didn’t yell or scream. She was served on that 4th of July, after our friends went home, sulphur smoke still hanging under the streetlights.īut I told her how her beauty had run off, leaving me waking next to a face I didn’t care to recognize. I know it’s pathetic to only be wed till wrinkles do us part. A divorce was far from the end of the world. I could easily date a girl who’s 30 and get another ten-year head start on Father Time.īesides I thought, Nadia will be fine. I was still a handsome young man with the world at my fingertips. I didn’t not love her, but I just knew I could do so much better. She’s by far and away the bread winner but that doesn’t mean I was ready to be married to someone who looked so old so soon. All that work just to be berated by the family. Eighteen-hour surgeries concluding with no heartbeat. How can just ten years eclipse a face so pretty? I know Nadia went harder on herself than most. But please note the tense.Īround her 35th birthday I began to blanch when I woke up next to her in the morning.
Best nosleep stories of all time skin#
Beauty to me has always been skin deep and the moral of the ugly duckling was that he wasn’t ugly forever. The truth will come out anyway if I’m telling an accurate account of this horror so I might as well get ahead of it. But unfortunately for her 40 is not the new 30.īrain surgeons aren’t looking any younger. The neurotic neurologist with a face of deep wrinkles forged from stress and cigarettes. We had only been fighting regularly for the last five years. I thought I’d stay with that woman till death did us part. This is a brief story, but I suppose I should back up. But I vastly prefer the arguments of just a month ago when she’d yell at me about how cold I’ve become, and I’d rifle back by calling her a bitch. My wife, Nadia, hates me, so it’s really saying something.
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