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#I definitely could have done a better job with the transitions and expressions
beaopalmoon · 2 years
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lordy, what a busy week. i’m covering kim’s shifts so i’ll have some overtime hours.
this new manager managed to push another employee’s buttons to the point that they quit. they’re the only other non-cis employee, and she made a stink about refusing to call them by their preferred name, so after that, the GM told me today that she’s going to talk to her, and if she doesn’t promise to change how she talks to and about us, she’s got to go.
i’ve known that the GM was going to talk to her on wednesday. i had to go in the store earlier for unrelated reasons, and the GM approached me to talk about all this. i told her that i would like to come in before the end of her shift so that i can hear what the details are, and she asked if i would like to talk to this new manager with her. considering we’ve only spoken once, and it was all about the job, i said yes.
i’m very willing to try to talk reason in to someone that has a bigoted perspective if they’re at least willing to be civil, because i know that people like this only care about minority groups if someone in their social circle is of a particular demographic. that this lady wants to burn bridges immediately is concerning, but i would rather give her a chance to change before i demand that we not work on the same shifts or threaten to quit.
i’m not a confrontational person at all. i’m not one to immediately label someone that could be ignorant or ill informed an *ist or a *phobe until they’re presented with facts and continue to behave poorly.
my situation is an abnormal one too, but i hope that it gives this manager the perspective to better understand anyone that doesnt conform to cisgender expectations. because i’m intersex, i have physical and psychological sex ambiguity that has motivated me to pursue transitioning for my health and safety, and for some cis people, that makes sense, and has the possibility to open them up to the idea of not making assumptions about other trans ppl.
sooo tomorrow will be Interesting.
THAT SAID... there are a few coworkers i have that still slip up when referring to me. they nearly always correct themselves, and now that my voice has started dropping, its less frequent. i’m okay with that because they always call me Gregg, and though they knew my legal name, they have since forgotten it.
all the same, they’ve been extremely kind and supportive of me through this.
i had considered asking a few ppl that i got along with well what they thought about me and trans people in general, but i definitely dont have to worry about that now. if this manager has done one good thing, her bullshit has given me complete trust in the staff.
i even feel more comfortable talking to my parents about this now. they’ve been worried about me as i came out and started taking testosterone, but they have never been rude about it. now, because i’ve told them about this clown and how she’s negatively impacting people, i have had the chance to explain to them that i am no less their daughter, i’m just also their son too.
they never made me feel like i couldn’t do what i wanted to because of my sex, i was allowed to express myself however i wanted as i grew up, but my mom was concerned that she would be made to feel bad if she talked about how or who i was when i was a child by upsetting me with the name or pronouns i used to have.
i got to reassure her that i’m still her child. telling her that if anything, i would compare my feelings on my gender to how the native americans had two-spirit people. because of her heritage, she seemed most comforted by that idea, and otherwise lamented that it was a shame that i felt that i have to present strictly as a man to feel safe, and not just be allowed to exist as i naturally am. i completely agree! i think anyone that may relate to me should not be harassed and shoe-horned in to one presentation or the other!
however, i do still take testosterone for my health, because estrogen/progesterone actively make me feel ill and i do need some manner of hormone supplement in order to function. so the longer i am on this medication, the more i will appear and present as masculine.
it’s been a huge relief to be able to say all this to my parents and have them not feel as much like i’m pressuring them to get me. instead they feel like i’m giving context to why this issue at work is taking more of my free time, and that i am fully comfortable talking about what’s on my mind and what’s going on in my life with them.
AND i have therapy and an appointment with my gender health specialist next week, so there’s gonna be SO MUCH to talk about!!
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idrawgaystffs · 3 years
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It’s Done! 
Oh gosh alright so this is my first real time trying to make a comic page like sort of thing, and I’m pretty satisfied!
It’s from a scene in one of @bonniebelleklyde​ ‘s little lociet fics, liked it a lot. 
Here’s a link to it! 
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prettywordsyouleft · 2 years
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Conveniently Yours - Part 1
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Summary: You knew better than to enter a marriage of convenience with your boss’ grandson. But you wanted that senior partnership, and it wasn’t as if Jaebum was a stranger - you knew him rather intimately. It was only a year together, and then you could divorce him and achieve your biggest career goal. But would it be as simple as that?
Pairing: Im Jaebum x female reader
Genre: romance / marriage of convenience
Warnings for overall story: suggestive, swearing, mentioning of body parts and sex, a miniscule amount of angst, inequality in the workplace
Prompt: “Your turn.” -- for the @challengingwords​ January monthly challenge
Author’s note: This story is a drabble/mini series. It covers over an entire year in just eight short parts. It’s not as in-depth as this world could have been done, but I hope you enjoy it all the same. 
Word count: 1062
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | Epilogue
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Staring at the man seated on the leather couch across from you, you let out a startled laugh. “I’m sorry, I must have heard you wrong. Did you just say, marriage?”
Im Bumsoo, the founding partner of Im & Jones, the biggest law firm in the city, cocked his head to the side, a bemused expression warming his features. “Is marriage such a difficult notion for you to understand?”
“With all due respect, I have no issue understanding the constitution of marriage. As you’re aware, the failure of such unions is what pays my bills.”
“Being one of the best divorce lawyers in this country doesn’t mean you’re against getting married yourself, though, does it?”
You didn’t answer right away. You didn’t see getting married as part of your grand scheme in life. It was no secret that you were great at your job, and because of that, you’d seen through more divorces in your career than you had witnessed happily wedded bliss. You didn’t have some personal traumatic experience with holy matrimony. You were simply jaded and didn’t understand why people went through with joining their lives with another just to end up in your office to sort out the destruction of such vows. But evidently, the old man before you held traditional views still.
That much was clear since he’d spoken of his terms.
“I’m not for or against. It’s not been a priority of mine to get married. Especially when I’m single. When I meet someone worth marrying, I’ll ensure you’re there to see it, Mr Im.”
“Oh, I definitely plan to be there, Y/N,” he agreed, leaning forward in his seat. “That’s the only way you’ll be getting the partnership.”
“This is misogynistic thinking, and you know it. I’m damn good at my job and would make for an excellent senior partner of this firm.”
He nodded with ease. “You’re the best divorce lawyer in this city. That’s why we snapped you up when we did, Y/N. But being a senior partner of this firm is something I’m protective of. Park Jinyoung would make for an excellent partner too.”
“He’s not married,” you pointed out, and Mr Im chuckled.
“No. No, he’s not. But he’s a wonderful candidate.”
“So, you’d want me to marry him?” you remarked, distracted by the anger coursing through you about being a woman in a male-dominated firm. When your secretary had mentioned the open candidacy for the new senior partner of the firm, you had been eager to push your name forward. You had worked hard for the last eight years for Im & Jones. You were no longer that young woman who had her foot in the door thanks to good professor connections after passing the bar. You were formidable in these halls and the courtroom. It wasn’t ego that propelled you to take this opportunity, even if you were damn good at your job and knew it too. It was about time this archaic law firm transitioned into modern society. Women were on the rise and deserved equal chances.
You had been foolish to think the older men within this law firm would readily agree with your proposal, however.
“Good grief, no,” Bumsoo chortled, reaching for the handkerchief in his suit pocket. “You and Jinyoung?! Goodness, Y/N. That’d be the quickest divorce of the century.”
“Then why is marriage a prerequisite for my application, but not his? I thought you were all about equal opportunities, Mr Im.”
“My grandson,” he announced, and even if you had the best poker face from years of experience, your nonchalance failed you then, your mouth falling ajar.
“I-I’m sorry, what?”
“I want you to marry Jaebum. He’s no stranger to you, now, is he?”
“I’ve become acquainted with him over the years,” you replied cautiously, omitting the truth. You were more than acquainted with the hard lines of Jaebum’s body. He was an excellent lover in and out of the sheets. You hoped the flashes of your last hook-up on his kitchen countertop wasn’t apparent within your eyes.
Even if Jaebum was a skilled orgasm giver, there was no other connection between you worth pursuing. He merely helped when you were stressed out.
Essentially, he was a gifted personal trainer with the types of cardio workouts he gave you.
“My grandson reminds me of you. Powerful and capable. But he doesn’t want to set down any roots. I want to see my great-grandchildren before I leave this world, and unless I make that happen by giving him a bit of an incentive, I believe Jaebum will remain an eternal bachelor.”
“Which is completely acceptable in this day and age,” you argued, unable to not get your heckles up at Bumsoo’s insinuation. Even if you wanted to get married, children were not something you readily wanted. You didn’t have a maternal bone in your body. The fact that your boss had not only diminished your professionalism by offering this scheme for a career step up, was he assuming you would just happily lay down and allow yourself to be a vessel for his great-grandchildren vision?
Obviously, he was underestimating you a great deal.
He chuckled. “Jaebum would say the same thing. See, you’d get along.”
“I seriously don’t get—”
“One year, Y/N. If you marry Jaebum, the partnership is yours. You can divorce him in a year’s time, though I’d prefer divorce not to be a part of this since I really do want to hear the pitter-patter of little feet again. Humour this old man with his wish to see his grandson married to a beautiful and successful woman.”
Every morally ruled part of you ceased up at this offer. You did not need to prove your worth like this. Absolutely none.
And yet, greed was a wicked thing. It tempted you, reminding you that a partnership in this law firm was a dream you’d held onto for some time now. If marrying Jaebum for a year could get you what you wanted and came with a year’s worth of great sex, well, it wasn’t the worst bargain you could sell yourself out for.
Still. You should be able to get this on merit alone. Park Jinyoung sure as hell would.
“It’s your turn to make a move, Y/N,” Bumsoo announced, steepling his fingers together. “I’ve laid out my cards. What do you say?”
_________________
Part 2
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gladerscake · 3 years
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No One Better
(Gally x Reader)
Hope you have some time, because this one’s large and in charge (of the feels, that is). Huge thanks to all the lovely people who encourage me to keep writing. Enjoy!
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A few beads of sweat rolled down your temple, your bottom lip beginning to sting from how hard you were biting down on it, your brows furrowed in intense concentration, all while you were struggling to finally saw through this one stupid chunk of wood. It was a particularly thick one - you’ve been at it for almost ten minutes, with frustratingly minimal results. The muscles of your right arm were positively aching, pleading for you to drop the shucking saw and just ask somebody for help.
However, your resolve was stronger than your protesting muscles. You could do this. You didn’t need help.
You gave yourself a minute to rest before drawing in a deep, determined breath, and getting right back to it. You couldn’t believe it - will all this effort, you’d only managed to saw through half of it, thus far. Gally always made it look so easy...
“Having a bit of trouble there, baby?”
Your mouth immediately curled in a little grin at the deep sound of his voice. Gally’s voice. As if on cue, just when you were beginning to think about him.
The Keeper of the Builders, who you now proudly called your boyfriend, seemed to have a sixth sense for those things. To anything that had to do with you, really.
It’s been a bit over a week, since you two had made the fateful transition from close friends to something much, much more thrilling. And even though it hasn’t been that long since the change of your relationship’s nature, you could say, without question or a shadow of a doubt, that you’ve never felt happier.
The way Gally treated you on the daily, with such gentleness, care, and endless affection, made your heart bloom with delight at his mere presence. You couldn’t say you had been shocked by his manner - he’s always been kind to you, since the moment you two have met. But seeing this side of him, the loving and warm side, the one nobody else but you got to see, was a gift in itself. You believed you were immensely lucky that Gally returned your feelings and wanted you by his side, and you couldn’t wish for someone better. To you, there was no one better - simple as that.
As of this moment, you chose to bite back a cheeky remark in response to Gally’s slightly teasing question. Instead, you straightened out your posture, allowing your grin to grow as you loosened your death-grip on the saw handle and turned to face him.
“Me? Not at all! What gave you that impression?” You chirped as Gally chuckled, deeply, taking a big step closer to you. His striking bluish-green eyes peered down at your delicate features, an amused grin playing at the corners of his mouth. God, you could never get used to how attractive he was to you...
“You’re kidding, right? I could hear your grunts all the way from the Deadheads.” He glanced at the saw in your hand, trailing his gaze to the chunk of wood and your underwhelming progress, and swiftly figured out what was causing his girl such distress.
You playfully rolled your eyes at his comment “Well, not everyone is a big hunk of muscle like you, my Keeper.”
Gally tried to control the blush he instantly knew was about to paint his cheeks. ‘My Keeper’. You’ve been calling him that often since you two became a couple, and he would be lying if he said he didn’t absolutely love it. It almost always distracted him from whatever he was doing or talking about, but he didn’t mind. He definitely didn’t want you to stop.
Nonetheless, he kept his composure and cleared his throat, grinning down at you “You flatter me, baby. But you’re not wrong.”
You released a light-hearted laugh as he quickly scooted behind you. “Here, let me help.”
You felt a familiar warmth spreading through your body and circling your abdomen as Gally reached around you, his powerful torso nearly pressing against your back, his calloused hand enclosing around your smaller fingers on the handle, in order to guide your movements. Your pulse was already beginning to quicken, your face gradually getting hotter, as you struggled to ignore the effect his closeness was having on you.
“T-Thanks...”
Gally pressed a sweet peck to your cheek as he tightened his grip “Mm-hm. Now, shoulder up...” He instructed, softly, his breath slightly tickling your ear. You did as told. “Yep, just like that. Now lock your elbow. Your arm’s a little wobbly - that’s why it’s taking so much out of you.” Again, you did as he said, doing your earnest to focus on the task at hand, and not on your boyfriend’s low, breathy voice in your ear, or the heat of his strong body, or the way his arms felt around you...
“Like that?” You inquired, timidly, glancing up at his freckled face.
“Exactly. Now, drag it back and forth, and don’t squeeze the handle too hard - you’re just wasting energy that way.”
You took a deep breath and proceeded sawing through the wood, with Gally’s help, as he kept a firm grip on your hand. To your surprise and relief, it really did feel a lot easier, now that you were no longer straining your muscles in all the wrong ways, and in a matter of minutes, the sawed-off piece fell to the ground with a soundly “thump”.
You let out a victorious laugh, causing Gally to chuckle at your reaction. He thought it was entirely too cute.
“Finally! I did it!” You beamed at your boyfriend as he pried the handle out of your hand, placing the saw on the work table before interlacing his fingers with your own.
“You sure did. Next time, if you’re struggling with something, just come get me, okay? There’s nothing wrong with asking for help.” He smiled, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead.
You closed your eyes, blissfully, giving him a short nod of agreement. “Fine, fine, if you insist...” You mumbled, the urge to kiss him coating your senses and pulling you closer into him. You didn’t fight it. Standing up on your tippy-toes, your linked your arms around his neck and leaned in, pressing your soft lips against his, your ears basking in Gally’s deep hum of satisfaction. His hands wasted no time gripping your waist as he kissed you deeper, his lips moving so seamlessly and tantalizingly against your own, your mind beginning to swim at the sensation.
Despite not wanting to break the kiss, the distant sounds of other gladers working and chattering forced you to stay aware of your surroundings as you reluctantly pulled away from Gally’s lips with a sweet final peck. The builder grinned, giving your waist a languid squeeze before delivering you a wink that almost made your knees buckle.
“As much as it kills me, I gotta get back to work, baby.” He feigned a sneer as you chuckled, nodding in compliance and unwinding your arms from around his neck. You stepped back, already missing his closeness and warmth.
“Same here. Meet you at dinner?”
“You’d better!” Gally smiled, genuinely, before turning on his heels and departing to his task of fixing the Med Hut’s leaky roof.
-later that day-
“Alright, boys, let’s wrap this up. We’ll get back to it first thing tomorrow.” Gally clapped a couple of his builders on their backs - his way of letting them know they had done a good job without actually having to say it. He wasn’t big on dishing out praise and compliments, unless it came to you.
“Whatever you say, boss!” Scott, one of his most capable builders, quipped as he climbed down from the roof, fist-bumping a couple of his friends while they stretched their sore muscles.
Gally huffed to himself before going to pick up his instruments, his tall form disappearing from the guys’ line of vision.
As soon as the Keeper appeared to be gone, Scott’s expression promptly melted from cool to sour, a hint of spite flashing through his eyes.
“Looks like someone’s in a hurry to get back to his girlfriend.” He deliberately over enunciated the last word, frowning, as if just the thought of it was too ridiculous to occur.
Another builder, Jack, cocked a questioning brow at his friend “Oh? Jealous much?”
Scott rolled his eyes in response “I just don’t get it! How did that even happen? Why him? She had like forty shanks to choose from, and she went for him?”
Jack had to snicker at the guy’s plain and obvious jealousy, the sight of it being thoroughly entertaining. “Hey, easy, man! Clearly she sees something we can’t. She’s made her choice - deal with it.”
“Yeah, but did she have to pick the ugliest one? I mean, honestly, if it were someone like Minho, or Ben, or hell, even Newt, I’d sort of get it, but...”
Gally scoffed, bitterly, rejecting the idea of listening to the rest of that lovely conversation. Did they really think he couldn’t hear them? He’s only been a few feet away this whole time, for shuck’s sake. His features darkened, his hands clenching into fists. He knew it was stupid to let something like that get to him - obviously it was nothing more than jealous ramblings of some dumb shank, who would most likely wet himself if he knew Gally had heard him.
Still, as much as he despised to admit it... It stung, hearing that. Mostly because, deep down, some obnoxiously self-deprecating part of him, agreed with Scott’s words.
Gally had never really given much thought to his looks. That is, until you came along. As his feelings for you grew, so did his insecurity. He knew he wasn’t conventionally “hot”. True, he was one of the tallest guys in the glade, and he assumed he had a nice body, thanks to his job as a builder, so he at least had that going for him. His face, however... Gally didn’t believe it was anything to be considered “handsome”. As opposed to you, who he thought was the most gorgeous thing he’d ever laid eyes on.
He hated this, hated feeling like he didn’t deserve you, hated knowing that you could probably do so much better than him, especially when you weren’t there to reassure him, to tell him otherwise and kiss away his every troubled thought.
Gally growled, internally, his jaw tensing and his knuckles turning white. No, he needed to snap out of it. What the hell? You wanted him. You chose him, you were with him, you were his. He couldn’t let his faith in your devotion to him crumble, just because some dumbass had opened his big resentful mouth.
With an exasperated grunt, Gally stalked off to meet you for dinner, as promised. He was sure that as soon he saw your face, he would forget all about what had just happened. He hoped gazing into your glimmering eyes would be enough to hush every last unwelcome thought. Yet, as hopeful as he was for that, the tension in his broad shoulders remained, as if something heavy was weighing down on him, with very little he could do about it.
-later-
Something deep within you was telling you something wasn’t right. You felt a nagging sting of worry pinching at your heart as you made your way back to Gally’s hut, that you and him now shared.
You couldn’t help but sense that Gally had seemed a bit... off, all throughout dinner. The soft smiles he’d sent your way didn’t reach his eyes. His usually bright bluish-green eyes had been tinged with an underlying bleakness, and you had no clue where it was coming from. You’d tried to ask him about it, but the only response you got was a mumbled “It’s nothing” and a hurried kiss on your cheek.
You didn’t like it. You knew Gally so well by now - you could tell when something was bothering him. You cared about him, deeply, and so, seeing him so obviously anxious about something and not telling you what it was, put you in a bothered state as well.
Whatever it was, you needed to get it out of him. Gally was your boyfriend, and a pretty amazing one at that. If there was anything at all that you could do to help him deal with what was plaguing mind, you would do it, over and over again, if you had to.
You pushed the door open and entered the hut, a loving smile curling your lips as your eyes fell upon Gally. The builder was sitting on the bed, busily scribbling something in his journal, his knit brows and slightly clenched jaw painting his face with a look of pure concentration. Probably sketching in some alterations for the Med Hut expansion. You released a muted giggle, thinking his expression was entirely cute.
Gally immediately looked up at the sound that escaped you, his smile reflecting your own, his deeply focused gaze softening the second it landed on you “Almost bed time, huh?”
“Yes, indeed.” You delivered a little grin as you shut the door behind you and approached him, your delicate hands landing on his shoulders with a pleasant squeeze “And you’re still not done working?” You eyed the journal in Gally’s hands.
He responded with a scratchy chuckle “Perks of being a keeper, baby - I’m never done.” He feigned a deep sigh that made you giggle once more, but nonetheless, placed the journal aside, wanting to give you his full attention.
The only instances where you two got to be truly alone with one another were early in the morning and right before bed, so Gally cherished these moments with you. He would spend every second of every day alone with you if he could, but for the time being, he’d take what ever little scraps of time he could get.
“Well, I’m here now, so... Maybe you’re done, after all?” You smiled, your hands kneading his shoulders in a relaxing manner, feeling his firm muscles slowly release built-up tension under your touch.
Gally grunted, deep in his throat, as his own hands took a hold of your waist, pulling you closer in a not-so subtle motion.
“I sure as hell am, now...” The deep, slightly raspy tone of his voice made you weak in ways you hadn’t imagined before, but you were far from complaining.
With a playful smirk, Gally suddenly fell back on the bed, and you yelped in surprise as with one simple, yet effective tug, he brought you down with, causing you to topple onto him.
“Gally!” You attempted to scold, lightly slapping his chest, but the laughter bubbling from within you, as well as the rising pink hue to your cheeks, let him know how you truly felt about it.
“Aww! Sorry, is this too much?” He asked, almost rhetorically, a cheeky glint dancing in his eyes.
The blush adorning your cheeks only grew as you gazed down at him in pure fascination. Sometimes you still couldn’t believe Gally was yours, that you got to see the side of him everyone else was blind to. You shook your head, leaning down to plant an amorous kiss on his plump lips, as he took no time melting into it with a low-pitched hum. His large hands, warm and eager, gripped your waist tighter as he shifted you both up the bed, until the back of his head almost knocked against the makeshift wooden frame. You whimpered, softly, against his mouth before breaking the kiss. You witnessed, with a tinge on satisfaction, that his freckle-littered cheeks were now even redder than your own, his breath escaping through his parted lips as he stared at you like you were something out of this world.
Gally felt like he could never get enough of you. Your closeness had his heart nearly beating out of his chest, and the intoxicating sensation of your lips on his sent him reeling with more need than he knew what to do with. However, as he gazed at you, taking in every detail of your breathtaking features, his mind involuntarily called back to his inner turmoil, a couple hours prior. The spark in his eyes dulled, the corner of his lips twitching with a barely-noticeable frown as he was pulled back into that loathsome state of self-doubt he’d tried so hard to fight against.
The rapid change in his expression, as minimal as it was, did not evade your notice. In a blink of an eye, your dream-like state morphed to concern as you reached up a hand to cup his warm cheek “Hey... Gally, what’s wrong?”
He huffed a light puff of air, tilting his head to nuzzle his face into your cupped hand, the small gesture nearly making you swoon.
“It’s nothing. Stupid. Don’t worry about it, baby.” Gally mumbled, the response identical to the one you’d received at dinner.
Well, that wasn’t going to be good enough this time. You frowned in sympathy “Yeah, that’s what you said earlier, too. I didn’t believe it then, and I don’t believe it now.”
Gally relinquished a hushed groan, evidently reluctant to share what was on his mind, but all you wanted was for him to know that there was nothing in the world he couldn’t talk to you about. You leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to the exasperated crease on his forehead, momentarily feeling it smoothen out under your lips.
“Come on... please? I can’t go to sleep if I know something’s bothering you.”
Gally sighed, deeply, his intent gaze meeting your own, and once again you were met with the somber pool of dejection that you had been so quick to spot.
To say he was hesitant to discuss it would be an understatement, but the plea in your gaze and soft voice was impossible for him to ignore. There probably wasn’t a single thing you couldn’t get out of him.
With a defeated grunt, Gally reached a hand up to carefully thread his calloused fingers through your silky hair, his voice dipping an octave lower as he finally spoke “Sometimes it just doesn’t feel like I’m good enough for you, Y/N.”
Your breath hitched at the mere sound of those words leaving his mouth. You felt a ferocious urge to stop him right then and there, yet... you didn’t. No, you couldn’t interrupt. You asked for this, for his honesty, so now he was giving you exactly that. You had to let him finish.
“I mean... You could’ve had anyone. Absolutely shuckin’ anyone, but for a reason I still don’t fully understand, you’ve picked me.” Gally bit the inside of his cheek, his rough fingertips turning cold as he let the words fall from his mouth. “I know what people are thinking. ‘What the hell is an amazing, sweet, funny, beautiful girl like you, doing with one of the ugliest shanks here?’. And you know what? I hate it, but they’re not wrong.”
Every sentence shot an icy pain through your heart as you had to bite your bottom lip to physically restrain yourself from shutting him up. You couldn’t stand that Gally was so critical of himself, especially when you saw him as the best thing that’s ever happened to you.
“And please don’t take this the wrong way - I’m not doubting your... feelings for me, and I’m so lucky that they’re even there, it’s just...” He trailed off, briefly, wanting to choose his next words carefully. “It’s a bit of a struggle to understand. Because you deserve the best, and I’m... well, hardly that.”
A short pause. Finally, it sounded like he was finished, and now it was your time to let him know precisely how you felt about all of it.
With a preparatory intake of air, you cupped his face in both hands, making him look nowhere else but at you, your eyes shining with determined empathy. “Gally... I chose you, because it’s always been you. Forty shanks here, and not one of them ever made me feel even a fraction of what you make me feel. I can’t explain why, because it’s not something that has an explanation - I don’t have an alphabetised list of reasons why I fell for you! I just... did. Because of who you are - that’s everything about you. And I don’t know who you’re calling ‘ugly’, because it sure as hell isn’t my boyfriend.” You paused, watching his eyes as he stared at you, mesmerized, without blinking, his mouth falling slightly agape as you could practically hear his heartbeat drumming in his chest. “So... Yeah, I can confidently say, without question, that I’m pretty happy with what I chose.”
After a few seconds of wired silence, Gally finally broke out of his entranced stupor, his voice nearly quivering as he traced a finger down the soft curve of your jaw.
“And what is it, that you chose?”
His touch made the loving warmth within you spread like wildfire, soothing your throbbing heart and coaxing a delicate grin to etch your lips “The best.”
At that, Gally released a short, incredulous huff, but couldn’t find it in himself to question it any further. You were truly a gift to him, a gift he had no idea what he’d done to deserve. In that moment, all the worries he’d had were effectively silenced, pushed away into the farthest, deepest crevices of his mind, not to be heard from again in a long time, if ever. Not a minute more would be wasted caring about anyone else’s opinion on your relationship with him. The only one that mattered was yours, and that’s the one he would hold into, for as long as you’d allow it. For as long as you’d want him.
Gally’s muscular arms wrapped around your frame, pulling you into him, tightly and protectively, as he buried his face in your hair, trying to get you as close as humanly possible, and still feeling like it wasn’t enough.
You responded by nuzzling into the warm crook of his neck, your lips pressing the gentlest of kisses to his sun-kissed skin, the heat of his strong chest soaking into you and shrouding you in an impenetrable sense of comfort and love. His love. The type nothing else could compare to or dare to challenge.
“You know, the day you change your mind will definitely be the most devastating of my life...” Gally whispered, almost inaudibly, the consuming safety of his embrace clouding your senses.
All you could do was breathe a soft chuckle, holding onto him tighter as your lips murmured against his neck “I guess it’s a good thing that day isn’t coming.”
Because in your mind, with all the uncertainties and uneasiness that surrounded the glade, that was the one thing you didn’t have a single doubt about. It was him. Gally. And there was no one better.
Thank you for reading!
Tags: @seldomabsent @obsessivelycapricious @ultraintrovertedgryffindor @maraudersimp @lattsgocaps @magnoliabloomfield @sherbertscarrothead-2 @the-marvel-meme-emporium @abundantxadorations @izzymultifan @willseyebrows @annoyinglythoughtfuldestiny
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blu-joons · 3 years
Text
The Dodgy Edit ~ Jeon Jungkook
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You called out Jungkook’s name as you finished editing the video you’d put together, excited to show him. It was your first time ever trying something like this, and the pressure was on when he was such a talented director himself.
“Everything alright?” He asked as he ran up the stairs, joining you in the bedroom. “What have you been doing?” He continued, recognising the software you had open on your laptop.
“I’ve just been messing around, but I made you something,” you proudly smiled as his eyes lit up. He quickly moved around to sit on the end of the bed behind your desk chair, spotting a few of the clips you’d pieced together straight away.
It was nowhere near as good as anything Jungkook could make, but you’d still put a lot of effort into making it. With your anniversary fast approaching you really wanted to try and do something special for the two of you this year.
“So, this is what you’ve been doing every time you’ve tried to tell me you’re ringing your family?” He laughed, hitting his forehead gently as he realised how stupid he’d been. “I can’t believe I didn’t realise something was going on.”
“See, maybe you’re not as smart as you thought after all.”
He sat back and watched as you set the video up to show him, remembering all the little things he’d taught when he was showing you how he edited his videos a few months ago. Jungkook couldn’t help but be surprised that you remembered so many of the little details.
“I don’t want to jinx things, but I’ve got high expectations,” he remarked once the video was finally prepared, impressed by the front screen you’d put on the video.
It was one of the clearest memories either of you had, one of your first photos together when he invited you to one of his concerts. Around it you’d put a few effects to make sure it stood out, but the photo was by far the centrepiece that you both still fondly looked over.
“Now, don’t expect too much, because you might have high expectations of yourself, but I’m not you. It’s my first attempt, so don’t be mean,” you scolded, hovering over the play button for a few moments.
"I’m sure whatever you’ve come up with I’ll love because it’s made by you, just click play, I’m excited to see what you’ve edited,” he encouraged, pressing the play button for you before you managed to talk yourself out of it once again.
The first few clips were perfect as you smugly sat back, even Jungkook had to admit he was mightily impressed by what you’d done. You weren’t one to sit back and say you’d done a good job, but even you were slightly surprised by the outcome.
“You can start editing my videos if you do it like this,” he teased, “it all looks so good.”
You smiled across at him, “I always thought I had a bit of a talent for editing, I guess I’ve learnt from the best after all these years.”
“I hope you’re talking about me,” he continued to laugh. Your eyes noticed the wrinkles in the corners of his eyes, but quickly they dropped as you watched his smile leave and a state of confusion appear across his face.
Your eyes flickered between him and the screen as you noticed a few of the images were pixelated, soon followed by the crackling of the music you’d put in the background, having not layered it properly. The transitions soon became messy, and many of the photos were covered by effects you thought you’d put elsewhere.
“We can just end this here,” you quickly argued, desperate to stop the video, but Jungkook didn’t let you, keeping your hands close to his chest.
“It’s cute, let’s carry on watching it until the end Y/N.”
“It’s not cute, it’s rubbish, please. Jungkook, don’t you think I’m embarrassed enough now?”
Whilst he would be the first to admit the edit, you’d made wasn’t the best, the effort that had gone into it shone through. No one had ever done something like this for him before, and especially after all the time you’d put into it, it deserved to be watched until the very end, even if it meant you curling up into a ball on your desk chair.
Eventually the video came to an end, as you reluctantly peered out from your ball to look across at him. “It’s not that bad,” he tried to comfort you, “yes, there is a bit of room for improvement, but nothing can change the effort that you put into it.”
“I thought it was going to be perfect, and it’s anything but perfect.”
His head shook, pulling your chair across so you were closer to him, “do you think my first video was perfect? These sorts of things take time, and I have to say for a first attempt, it’s not too bad. If we maybe just discard the last five minutes and enjoy the first two.”
“I know you’re trying to make me feel better, but I wanted this to be for our anniversary.”
“The sheer effort you put into this makes it meaningful enough, it might be a bit of a dodgy edit, but actually I think that sums up our relationship quite well,” he continued to comfort.
“Are you calling our relationship dodgy?” You exclaimed, “if we’ve been together for this long, I don’t think it’s that dodgy. You’re just rubbish at making me feel better.”
Whilst you said that, the smile that was beginning to blossom on your face told him a different story. He had his own roundabout way of making you feel better, and it most definitely seemed to be working as you covered your red cheeks.
“I’d like to think no relationship is perfect, but that’s probably the reason why we’ve stayed together all these years,” he laughed, “it’s our imperfections that make us perfect.”
You paused for a moment, questionably glancing across at him, “you must really be working hard to make me feel better if that’s the sort of cheesy things you’re saying.”
“If you’re allowed to express all your feelings in a video, then I can do it with words,” he challenged, “nothing is cheesy, it’s sweet. Just like your video, you might cringe watching it, but I’ll look back on it now with a fondness and a smile.”
“And a second-hand embarrassment for me,” you noted, resting against his side, “you can tell me it was bad; I promise I won’t be mad at you.”
His head shook, kissing the top of your own, “like I said, there’s room for improvement, but something that came from your heart will never be bad in my eyes.”
“At least I’ve got a good teacher who can help me get better now,” you teased, tapping against his chest, “you’ll help, won’t you?”
“Of course, I will. But maybe I should take that bit I said about you editing my videos for now…”
“I think that’s probably for the best.”
---
Masterlist
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trekscribbles · 3 years
Text
Triple Threat: A Stone Triplets Fic (Chapter 2)
Fandoms: Leverage/Leverage Redemption, Librarians, and Almost Paradise
Cross-Posted: Ao3 and FF
Summary: Eliot and Jake are both in the Philippines for separate jobs that turn out to be related. Kai takes the existence of Alex's brothers as a personal attack on her mental health. Ernesto happily goes along for the ride.
Read Chapter 1 here.
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Chapter 2: Double Trouble
The last time Eliot saw Alex was when they were 16 years old. Alex had been living with Uncle Danny for 6 years at that point, so the brothers didn't have much of a relationship even then, and the reunion had been awkward and tense. Jake was the one who tried to keep them together, who talked their father into hosting Christmas that year. He was the one who'd called Alex and begged him to come home for a week. Just a week.
They'd lasted three days.
At the time Eliot had blamed Alex—immature, bull-headed Alex, whose verbal and then physical fights with their father had led to his living with Uncle Danny in the first place. If he could have just learned to keep his mouth shut, most of the fights wouldn't have happened. Eliot and Jake had learned that lesson—why couldn't Alex? He always had to have the last word, no matter what the cost.
That last visit was what finally convinced Eliot to leave home. He thought about college, but eventually decided to enlist as soon as he turned 18 (without telling their father). Jake was supposed to go with him, but he'd wanted to see Alex one more time before they left. When months went by and Alex didn't come back, Eliot left both his brothers behind.
Age had given Eliot perspective, but by the time he was ready to apologize, Jake wouldn't take his calls. Alex had already joined the DEA, and a series of undercover assignments for both of them made it impossible for Eliot to reach out. And then he got involved with Moreau, and getting in touch was no longer an option. It would have put them in too much danger, and that was one thing Eliot would never do. But after a while, even that became an excuse. After he escaped Moreau, after Nate created a team and a family for him, he let the silence continue. He'd made that choice on his own.
And now apparently Alex was in the Philippines. Permanently, according to the detective who introduced herself as Kai Mendoza. That was all she would tell him (through gritted teeth, as though Eliot had committed some unforgivable sin by asking). "We have to take care of this mess," she'd grumbled. "Then we'll take you to see Alex."
She hadn't asked if Eliot wanted to see Alex, and part of him was glad for that. If he'd been given the option, he wasn't sure he'd have said yes. It would have been easy to say that he was too busy, that he couldn't stay, that it was better for them not to meet. But now that the offer was there, Eliot couldn't turn it down. One way or another, he was going to see his brother today.
Kai and her partner Ernesto drove him and the two men they'd arrested to the police station, where Eliot was firmly told to stay in the car. Kai paused after giving the order as if waiting for him to argue, even after he nodded and promised to stay put. Apparently Alex hadn't changed much since they were kids.
While the others were inside, Eliot took a few minutes to call Hardison and update him on the job. It was just the two of them on this one, with Hardison pulling the strings from somewhere in Vietnam while Eliot worked on the ground in Cebu.
Hardison picked up on the first ring. "All done? I booked you a flight back to New Orleans on—"
"I ran into a little snag," Eliot interrupted.
"What kind of snag?"
Eliot explained most of his encounter with Kai and Ernesto, but he couldn't bring himself to include the fact that he'd been mistaken for one of his long-lost triplet brothers. Hardison knew he had siblings, but Eliot hadn't ever gone into details about them. He wasn't sure what he'd say now, and he knew Hardison would have questions. Best to leave it be. He'd give Hardison a more in-depth explanation later.
"So now what?" Hardison asked.
"Now we wait and see if they can salvage the sting. If they arrest Flores, our work is done."
"And if they don't?"
"I'll let you know."
There was a pause, as if Hardison was trying to decide whether or not to voice his next thought. "Is there something else?"
Eliot sighed. He tried not to lie to Hardison or Parker, but he didn't want to have this conversation now. "Not about the job," he answered. "I'll explain later."
To his credit, Hardison didn't argue, even though he had to be burning with curiosity. "Okay. Call back when you have more to share."
"Yeah."
It was another twenty minutes before Kai and Ernesto emerged from the police station, both wearing grim expressions. They were talking as they approached the car, and Eliot caught the tail end of their conversation through the open windows.
"I didn't want to bring him in on this," Kai was saying.
Ernesto shrugged. "We don't really have a choice anymore."
"Things get messy when his family is involved. It'll only complicate things."
Interesting. Which of his relatives had already come to the island? Evidently Eliot's family had a knack for disrupting the locals.
"Ocampo's orders," Ernesto said. He opened the passenger door and slid into the car, turning to look over his shoulder at Eliot. "We'll take you to see Alex, but you're going to have to come back to the station and explain what you were doing with Flores."
Eliot crossed his arms. "Figured you'd want to know that first."
"We do," Kai said, with a frown at her partner. "You owe the delay to Alex. He's helped us out in the past, and Ernesto thinks we should tell him you're here before he finds out from someone else."
"The surprise could kill him," Ernesto said mildly.
"You just want to see his face when we show up with his doppelganger."
"Don't you?" Ernesto asked. Kai huffed and dropped into the driver's seat.
They lapsed into silence during the drive, which Eliot appreciated. His stomach had begun an uneasy churn, though he told himself it was just because of the heat. There was nothing to be nervous about. Sure Eliot hadn't reached out, but neither had Alex. Neither had Jake, for that matter. Eliot had gone home once, just after he got out of the service, and found Jake had taken over the oil company. Their neighbors said that Jake was turning things around, digging out of debt and even managing a profit, and Eliot accepted the blessing and drove out of town without stopping by the house. It was enough that Jake was happy. He didn't need Eliot coming back and ruining things for him.
Kai pulled into the parking lot of another hotel, dodging groups of brightly dressed tourists as she went. "He owns the gift shop here at the resort," Ernesto explained, flashing a friendly smile over his shoulder. Kai didn't look at him as she got out of the car, but Eliot was happy to keep his silence. He trailed behind her as she led the way through the resort, winding around pools and umbrella-covered tables, slowing every few moments so Ernesto could greet someone. Apparently the friendliness wasn't an act—or else it was a very good one. But something about the man felt genuine, as if he couldn't be bothered to put up a front.
Kai, on the other hand... she was harder to read. Especially now that she wasn't giving Eliot anything to work with except the occasional glare.
Before long the bustle of the resort faded as concrete transitioned to sand beneath their feet. A small building rose ahead of them, still against the backdrop of gentle waves and lazy clouds. A soft breeze ruffled Eliot's hair, filling his lungs with salt and sunshine. He wanted to stop, to look out at the water and breathe in the sea spray and the silence, but the others kept walking.
No wonder Alex had picked this spot. If retirement was in Eliot's future, he could see himself in a place like this.
Ernesto reached the door, and Eliot took one last windswept breath to brace himself.
"You look nervous," Kai murmured.
No he didn't. He knew he didn't, because the only emotions he gave away were the ones he wanted people to see. And he was most definitely not nervous. But her eyes lingered on his, and something softened in her expression.
"Don't worry," she said, giving him a small, hesitant smile. "It'll be fine."
"Alex," Ernesto called, and Eliot's stomach gave another roll. This was a mistake. He shouldn't have come. He tried to back away, but Kai put her hand on his arm and cut off his retreat, guiding him inside.
The gift shop was empty besides one man restocking a rack of post cards. He stood with his back to them, but it was impossible to mistake him for anyone else. He had the same build as Eliot, the same brown hair he'd have to fight to keep straight in this humidity, the same scarred hands from years of work and fighting.
"Hey!" Alex said without turning around. "Check it out, I got new cards."
Ernesto started across the room, gesturing for Eliot to follow. "How come you didn't tell us you had a twin?"
Alex looked at him. "A twin? I don't have a tw—"
His eyes fell on Eliot, and his words died. Eliot could feel Kai watching them, waiting for a reaction, but he couldn't think of anything to say. Hey, how've you been the last 30 years? Oh, me? Well, first I was an international assassin, and now I work with a group of thieves who steal from the rich and give to the poor. I still punch people for a living though. How about you?
Something started beeping. Eliot started—no, not started, just looked around for the source—but Alex slapped his hand to his wrist and the sound stopped.
"Everything okay?" Ernesto asked. Alex made a noncommittal sound, glancing at him before returning his attention to Eliot. His eyes seemed bluer than Eliot remembered. It was probably just the lighting, but since it was the only thought that didn't spiral out of control, it was the one Eliot clung to. Blue eyes like their mother's, like the pond water in the back yard. Blue eyes that had been red with anger and hurt the last time he'd seen them.
"Which one are you?" Alex asked.
Behind him, Kai made a choking sound. Ernesto shushed her.
"But—" she sputtered. "Are there more of them?"
Eliot refocused on his brother. "You don't recognize me?"
"You both look the same," Alex deadpanned.
"Well, we're in the Philippines and I'm speaking English."
For a long moment Alex simply stared at him as if trying to read the details of their separation in his face. Then he reached out, and Eliot braced himself for the punch. He wouldn't fight back—not at first, not unless things got out of hand. He could take a hit or two, let Alex burn off some of his anger, and then try talking. They weren't 16 anymore. They could handle this like adults.
But Alex didn't hit him. His arms flashed out past Eliot's head, wrapping around his shoulders, pulling him tight. "Eliot," he murmured, crushing him in a hug that drove the breath from Eliot's lungs. He didn't care. He grabbed two fistfuls of Alex's shirt and squeezed, pressing everything he couldn't voice into the embrace.
"It's good to see you," Alex said at last, gruffly. He pulled away without taking his hands from Eliot's shoulders. "What are you doing here?"
"Uh... work."
Alex frowned at the hesitation. "What kind of work?"
Eliot sent a look over his shoulder, where Kai and Ernesto still waited. They clearly had some kind of relationship with Alex, but how far did that extend? Likely not far enough to keep from arresting Eliot for the half-dozen laws he'd broken to secure his meeting with Flores. "I'll tell you later."
"Now's as good a time as any," Kai said. "You can tell us now or at the station, whichever you prefer."
"We can give them a little longer," Ernesto argued.
"Flores is still out there. The longer we wait, the more time he has to act."
"Who's Flores?" Alex asked. He let his hands slide from Eliot's shoulders, a frown settling over his face.
Kai gave him a pointed look. "I'll tell you later."
"I think you should tell me now."
"I don't care what—"
Ernesto held his hands up, putting himself between the two of them. "Kai, we can give them a few more minutes to catch up. We'll be outside, Alex. Ten minutes." He looked at Eliot. "Then you come to the station with us. Understand?"
"Fine," Alex said. "Ten minutes. I got it."
Though Kai looked like she wanted to argue, she allowed Ernesto to guide her toward the door. "Nice friends you've got," Eliot muttered.
He'd meant it as a joke, but Alex gave a serious nod. "Yeah. They are. They're closer than some of my family."
Apparently they were going to fight after all. "I didn't know how to contact you," Eliot said.
"You're smart. You couldn't figure something out?"
"Couldn't you?" Eliot countered. "The last I heard you were undercover. Reaching out would have put you in danger."
"I'm retired now," Alex said.
"So I hear."
Alex crossed his arms over his chest. "I did try to find you. There was a rumor going around that you'd died."
"I didn't. Well, I did once, but it didn't stick."
"How long ago was that?"
"While you were still undercover."
Alex gave a frustrated growl. "Fine. We both could have done more, alright? Just... fill me in on the case."
The case was a safe topic, so Eliot embraced the change without complaint. He gave his brother the basics as he knew them: Robert Flores was looking to set up a base to smuggle drugs to the United States. Hardison had been tracking him throughout Asia, but when business kept him in Vietnam he'd contacted Eliot about finishing the job. "Should have been simple enough," Eliot said. "Set up a meeting, figure out his weakness, take him down."
"But you weren't the only one after him," Alex said. He heaved a sigh. "How mad was Kai when you showed up?"
An involuntary smile pulled at Eliot's lips. "She thought I was you. I think she wanted to kill me more than Flores's men did."
Alex chuckled, sobering a moment later. "So this is what you do? You go after international criminals?"
"More or less."
"With who? I mean—CIA? Interpol?"
"It's kind of a freelance operation."
Alex shook his head. "That doesn't make any sense."
"It's a lot to explain," Eliot said. "And I will, I promise. Soon as we have the time."
"Right." Alex gave him another long look, and a small grin appeared on his face. "It's good to see you, man. It's been too long."
Eliot didn't try to stop his answering grin. "You go by Walker now?"
"You'd already taken Mom's name. Didn't leave me with much of a choice."
"Yeah, but... Walker? As in Texas Ranger?"
Alex hissed and shot a look toward the door. "Don't say it out loud, man. I've got a reputation to keep up here."
Eliot laughed, but Ernesto chose that moment to knock and peek into the gift shop, effectively ending the conversation. "You two finished?" he called.
"For now," Alex answered. "Where's Kai?"
"She went to get some coffee. She'll be back any minute."
Alex nodded. "Good. I wanna be back before the afternoon rush."
"You're not coming," Ernesto said. "I don't think Kai can handle two of you."
Eliot folded his arms. "For the record, I'm not Alex's double. If anything he's my double. I'm older."
"By eight minutes," Alex snapped.
"That's older."
Alex huffed a wordless reply, and Eliot felt a glow of something familiar in his chest. This was an argument they'd had hundreds of times—Eliot, being the oldest, started it most often when they were kids. Jake had come next, and then Alex—Baby Alex, they called him, whenever he was being annoying. Eliot was pleased to find the joke still funny.
Even better, Alex seemed to still find it annoying. Eliot couldn't say why that felt so comforting. Maybe it was just that he was thankful to see a glimpse of the old Alex, the one he'd known before they let their father and their pride get in the way of their relationship. Maybe it was the fact that Alex was relaxed enough to have this conversation in front of Ernesto. Maybe Alex had found a team the way Eliot had.
Maybe it was a good thing he'd come here after all.
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ghost0loxer · 3 years
Text
Imagine, a gender fluid teenager like myself has a favourite/feel-good film and that film is “Just One of the Guys,”from the mid 80s.
Picture this: theatre class, we watch “She’s The Man”, a dreamworks film from the 2000s. And yet, the social justice issues within the film are glaringly obvious to today’s society. Don’t get me wrong, it can be a funny film in a group setting - but then there are scenes that are just uncomfortable. Now, we discussed these themes in class, but I just can’t help but think about the film that came before it. Yes, StM (she’s the mans) is a modern day adaption of Shakespeare’s “Twelfth Night” but I was thinking about the modern day adaption before StM, “Just One of the Guys” from the mid 80s.
I love this film. For multiple reasons, which I hope to discuss.
Number one, our main character. Terry Griffith is stubborn. If she thinks something is right, she won’t let anyone say no or get in her way. Now in some cases, this is great. It’s definitely a shift in the usual romantic comedy female lead (especially for the 80s). But it’s one of her biggest flaws. In the beginning, Terry doesn’t win a contest for a part-time job at the Sun Tribune. She believes her article was amazing, but she speaks with her English teacher and he gives it to her straight. “You don’t have what it takes to be a reporter.” Her article is boring; it’s about the nutritional value of the lunch menu in the school cafeteria, of course it’s boring. But the words her teacher tells her has her convinced it’s because she’s a woman. Thus, she leaves school for two weeks and transfers as a buy to another school who are holding the same competition. Once she gives her article, she is told almost the same thing, but this time, she’s given proper feedback to improve it. Of course, there was some irony with this scene between Terry and the teacher. “Just because you’re guy, doesn’t mean you can’t be sensitive or light.” Thing is, she doesn’t give up, she strives to fix it and finds a new angle. I love her determination, I love the way she doesn’t let others push her around. Furthermore, her transition to a man. In StM, Viola as a guy is made to be cringey and comedic, you watch and think, there’s no way a guy would do that. But Terry, having grown up with a younger brother and is actually smart, manages to nail the role. Sure, she has slip-ups, but she stays afloat and she’s not being over the top. She’s chill and convincing, yet you as the audience can tell she’s trying to appear masculine. Her lines are witty and she’s sharp. Someone has something to say, she’ll be able to backtrack and answer with a joke or sarcasm quickly. I like smart characters.
Another point, the way women are written in this film. A lot of women in this film are treated like shit, but it’s probably a realistic depiction of the 80s. Everyone is talking about dating and sex, it seems to be the only topic the women in this film speak about, unless they are Terry. Terry seems to be the only character in this film whose main goal is not romance or sex. She strives to be a reporter, she wants to prove herself, and she rejects the advances upon her frequently. Whether it’s the boys asking her on dates in halls, or her own boyfriend attempting to seduce her when her parents aren’t home, she doesn’t put them above herself, yet she still lets them down easily, unless they become more pushy (case in point, her boyfriend, Kevin, in the beginning). She can stand up for herself, but she’s not the only one. Her best friend, Denise is one of the many women looking for love, nevertheless, she holds standards. I will admit, I didn’t like Denise’s acting in the beginning; she’s not a great character, but even she manages to reject men’s advances constantly. She’s not afraid to say it bluntly and she expresses her true emotions when certain guys try to ask her out. She tells it to them straight, and I respect her for that (despite her lack of empathy for some). Terry’s brother is constantly hitting on Denise, but she stands her ground. She doesn’t hit him or curse him out, she spins words around him and always lead back to the key word “no.”
This is my third, and maybe final point, (because I’m not great at writing but I’m starting to get tired) the way they handle sexual orientation. It seems if you’re going to make a film about a cross-dressing woman who falls in love with a man, you have to discuss sexuality and this film is not afraid to. That was my biggest beef with StM, when Viola confessed her love to Duke, the made it blatantly clear that it was “weird” and “unusual”; the editing and music cuts. It was done for comedic purposes, but in that moment, it just made me cringe. Even when the principal marched onto the field during the big match to expose Sebastian as “the woman he was all along,” he used a big megaphone and said to the whole crowd this man is in fact a girl. If it were to happen in the real world, and this character was a trans male, that would be traumatizing and so so insensitive. I couldn’t help thinking the way they handled the reveal in StM was poor and shitty.
But with JOotG (just one of the guys)? It’s done respectfully. Throughout the film, Buddy, Terry’s younger, sex-obsessed brother (I have thoughts on this character), often refers to Terry as a transvestite or sexually confused. They make references about her dating other women and jokes. It’s not treated like taboo, but just something people normally talk about, and as a questioning kid when I first watched the film, I really needed that. Although it was used for jokes, the fact that it wasn’t treated like a silent topic made me think more of it and discover who I was; it was media like this that made me accept myself.
Even with the reveal. Kevin, Terry’s boyfriend (or ex boyfriend by the end), stomps up to Terry after she’s wrestled with the school bully and was dumped into the waves at prom. Rick, who’s been Terry’s friend (and is the male lead) throughout her time at his high school, immediately questions who Kevin is and he responds with a harsh and sure “Terry’s boyfriend.” Of course, that doesn’t expose Terry as female, but makes Rick assume she’s a homosexual. But instead of calling her weird or replying negatively, he answers Kevin’s question calmly and says he’s just a friend. There is no prejudice, no disgust, Rick is shocked, but that’s expected. Furthermore, this reveal not only does not alienate homosexuality, it puts the center of focus on the main characters rather than have the whole audience/prom witness this exchange. Sure, the rest of the school is watching but the camera never pans over to them, and even then, Terry drags Rick away from the crowds to a secluded area to explain more.
Even once they’re secluded, Rick doesn’t yell at her or is homophobic. He just says “I understand, you’re gay.” As we know, Terry is not in fact gay and she reveals this to him in a similar fashion as StM, at least it’s not flashing a whole crowd. But the thing that hits me, is the fact that it’s not used as a joke or for comedy. Throughout the film, they’ve mentioned homosexuality and being transgender, but it was used as a light-hearted joke (nothing insulting or derogatory). In this moment, it’s not a joke, and it’s the bare minimum for a emotional scene like this, but it always hits me.
Of course, Rick gets justifiably mad that he’s been deceived and he storms off. Terry’s flaw catches up to her here, as she kisses him in front of the prom guests, stubborn to make him realize how much she cares. ( I didn’t agree with this action to be frank, I cringed ). The crowd gasps and it’s the usual reaction to a homosexual kiss and Rick just pulls back, says “It’s alright everyone, he’s got tits,” and leaves with Deborah.
In true romantic comedy fashion, life moves on. Terry gets the job at the Sun-Tribune after writing her article about posing as a guy and everyone who was longing for love in the beginning has found it, except Terry. The ending, however, is Rick coming back for her after a couple (days? Weeks? Idk all I know is it’s summer by the time he comes back, how much space between prom and summer?) and they kiss, go on a date and all is good.
Now after writing this long ass post, I’ve come to realize the main reason I like this film. Sure, Terry is a good character (not morally sometimes, but she’s interesting to watch), the way women are presented also is good, but my main source of affection for this film (in comparison to StM) is the way they handle the switching of genders. I’m gender fluid, I don’t always like being a woman or a man, I switch almost daily and half the time can’t decide if I want to grow out my hair or cut it. Seeing Terry, originally a woman, manage to convince people she was a guy made me wish I could do it too. It made me realize, I don’t always like being a woman. I want to be a guy sometimes, and I want that to be accepted. It was media like this, like Ouran High School Host Club, like Bare: A Pop Opera, that made me understand my gender and sexuality. (Even media that didn’t have any relation to LGBTQ+ helped).
When I first heard of “She’s the Man”, I had hoped it would be like these pieces of media. And it wasn’t. It was an alright film, but made me feel disappointed and somewhat let down. And that’s why I just prefer Just One of the Guys. Maybe it wouldn’t float in today’s political climate, maybe I’m wrong for seeing these points as reasons it’s one of my favorites, but its still better than StM and is one of my favourite films.
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little-mad · 3 years
Note
“Tiny ears! Remember?!” With Tara and Thomas!
Ok, I really liked writing this one
From this list of prompts here
And for anyone who doesn’t know, more details about these two can be found on my oc masterlist
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After knowing one another for two months, Tara finally agreed to cross into giant territory for her meetings with Thomas. Admittedly, it was kind of awkward standing on opposite sides of the creek. More importantly, being out in the open like that, they ran the risk of getting seen by somebody. Tara definitely did not want to have to explain why she was hanging out with a giant to her family and friends back home.
The spot she and Thomas had decided on wasn’t far into giant territory, in fact Tara could still catch a glimpse of the border through the trees. Meanwhile, Thomas was about as concealed as his giant form would allow in an area with trees shorter than him.
Of course, Tara never would have agreed to the arrangement had she not been confident Thomas harbored no ill will towards her. The guy had saved her life twice, and after getting to know him better and better over time, she could almost call him a friend.
That being said, Tara had been sure to set up clear ground rules. Most important of the rules was that Thomas had to keep his hands to himself unless given express permission otherwise. The giant had pouted extensively about it. He obviously got a kick out of holding and touching her, which was exactly why Tara had forbidden it. Plus, being around hands that could easily snuff out her life made her more than a little anxious, believe it or not.
In order to avoid physical contact while still managing to remain close to Thomas’s eye level, Tara had positioned herself in a high branch of a tree directly in front of where the giant was sitting. Thomas had been fretting like a mother hen as she climbed up, insisting it was too dangerous for someone “so itty bitty.” The comment only served to make Tara climb quicker. She’d been scaling trees since she was little, she knew exactly what she was doing.
“Wait, but I thought you said you wanted to study at that university?” Tara inquired as she absentmindedly swayed her dangling legs back and forth.
During their last meeting, Thomas had explained to her his desire to attend some fancy school in a giant city a ways away. They had something sort of similar on the human side of the border, but it was incredibly far away and was very selective with who they allowed as students. No one in Tara’s town ever even considered it as a feasible option.
Thomas gave a humorless laugh. “Well of course I want to, both Lane and I have dreamed of going there for years,” he explained. “But it costs an arm and a leg to even be allowed to study there, not to mention room and board, food, supply costs...we’d never be able to afford it.” He let out a resigned sigh.
A frown formed on Tara’s face. She couldn’t necessarily empathize with Thomas’s situation exactly, but the feeling of being trapped by forces out of her own control was familiar enough after encountering giants. “So what are you going to do then?” she asked. The First Hunt had marked Thomas’s transition from child to adult, meaning he could no longer rely on his parents and needed to seek out a way to make a living.
“I’ll probably start helping out at my uncle’s shop, at least for now,” Thomas said with a shrug. He didn’t look especially pleased with the plan, but before Tara could call him out on it, he spoke up again. “What about you? Are you going to keep gathering supplies for your doctor?” he questioned.
Since even before she had finished school, Tara had been assisting the town’s physician by foraging for medicinal supplies that could be found in nature. At first it had mostly been freelance, but within the past month she had begun receiving a regular wage from the doctor. Tara enjoyed the unrestrictive nature of the work, plus the pay wasn’t half bad either. That being said, she couldn’t see herself doing it for the rest of her life.
“Well actually…” Tara started, “I’ve been thinking I might want to join one of the scouting parties.” The job was mentally and physically demanding, but scouts were well paid and well respected. Plus, after almost being eaten on two separate occasions, Tara felt as though non-giant related dangers were pretty manageable.
“Are you crazy?!” Tara winced at the unexpected volume of Thomas’s voice, her hands instinctively going to cover her ears against the thundering noise.
When her ears stopped ringing, she lowered her hands and shot a scowl up at the giant’s face. “Hey!” she shouted, “Tiny ears! Remember?!” Despite his natural enthusiasm, Thomas was usually pretty good at keeping his voice at a volume that was comfortable to Tara. Over time, his accidental loud outbursts had decreased in frequency. Whatever streak he’d had was now soundly broken of course.
Thomas’s eyes went wide as he realized what he’d done. “Sorry, sorry!” he exclaimed in an overly hushed tone. His cheeks became tinged with a slight red color and he wore a regretful expression on his face as he looked down at Tara. “I just--I can’t believe you would actually consider doing something so needlessly risky.” When he finished the sentence he began to take on the appearance of a stern father or something.
Tara pressed her lips together. She wasn’t really sure why Thomas seemed so worked up over the idea of her joining a scouting party. In the past, she had described what the scouts did and why they were so important to the wellbeing of her town. She’d mentioned the fact that, aside from ensuring no giants ever crossed into human territory, scouts were also responsible for fending off vicious wild animals, as well as occasionally dealing with bandits that sometimes hung around the woods surrounding the town. Sure, it was probably one of the more dangerous jobs Tara could do, but it wasn’t as if it were a death sentence. It was rare that a scout was ever killed in the line of duty.
“It’s not ‘needlessly risky’, Thomas,” she insisted. “Scouts are vital to the safety of my town. Plus, it’s not as dangerous as you seem to be imagining it to be.”
“The world is a dangerous place, and you’re so small--” Thomas started, but Tara was quick to interrupt him with a raised hand.
“Okay--just because I’m small to you, doesn’t mean I can’t handle myself just fine.”
“But why risk it when you don’t have to?”
Tara rolled her eyes. “I’m not going to live my life in a bubble.” It was becoming increasingly clear to her that while Thomas may view her as a person in some respects, he still thought of her as some kind of weak creature in need of protection. Considering he’d had to save her life on multiple occasions, Tara supposed she couldn’t entirely blame him. But that had been when she’d been in giant territory. Things were different on her side of the border.
At first, Thomas opened his mouth as if he were about to shoot back a retort. However, after a moment’s pause, his expression softened slightly. “I’m--I just don’t want you to get hurt,” he admitted.
Tara sighed. It was hard to stay too mad at the guy when he sounded so genuine. He seemed to really care about her wellbeing, even if he was being a bit overbearing about it. She allowed her tensed shoulders to relax. “I appreciate your concern,” she began, making sure to choose her words carefully. “But I promise, I’ll be fine.” Tara offered Thomas her most sincere smile. “Besides, I don’t even know for sure if I am actually going to join a scouting party. It’s just a possibility.”
With slow, controlled movements, Thomas leant forward so that his face was hanging about a foot above where Tara sat. She stiffened when one of his hands gently settled down beside her on the branch, close but not quite making contact with her body. “You don’t know how much I wish I could touch you right now,” he stated, a petulant look on his face.
With her cheeks flushing pink, Tara attempted to disguise it by fixing an unperturbed expression on her face. “You--you can keep your hands to yourself, Mr. Grabby,” she declared stubbornly.
Even if she trusted Thomas not to hurt her, willingly allowing a giant to touch her felt like crossing some line. Of course, she’d already crossed all kinds of lines just by agreeing to meet with him in the first place. Maybe Tara wasn’t completely opposed to letting him touch her--but only for practical purposes! Allowing him to fiddle with her now was certainly not practical.
Thomas gave Tara a pouty face, but when she remained resolute, he released a dramatic sigh before pulling away. “You’re killing me here.”
Tara snorted as she shook her head. “You are such a drama queen.”
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jazy3 · 3 years
Text
Thoughts on Grey’s Anatomy: 17X8
SPOILERS AHEAD!!!
I freakin’ loved this episode! It was so so good! Which surprised me considering what they focused on. Based on the promo I knew that this would be DeLuca’s goodbye episode and so I expected to like the other parts of the episode we were shown in the promo such as Hayes talking to Meredith at her bedside, Richard’s storyline, and Derek’s return. However, I was not expecting to enjoy any part of DeLuca’s farewell storyline and I was pleasantly surprised. I think that’s because they focused on the effects of grief and guilt and how everyone processes those emotions differently.
It was a really interesting character study on how each person feels a loss in their own way. Despite not liking the character I actually found DeLuca’s memorial service quite moving. I think it was because they found a creative way to do it and because funerals in the real world like we normally do aren't possible right now. My grandfather died last summer and while he didn’t want a funeral my family and I weren’t able to get together to mourn his loss as we usually would and that’s been hard.
I wasn’t particularly close with my grandfather, but the loss of traditional grieving rituals in this time of COVID-19 has been frustrating. I liked that they found a creative way to have the characters mourn the loss of a fellow staff member. I expected to see Carina more, but as I understand it her storyline played out more on Station 19 which makes sense. I felt like they did a good job of showing the five stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance) and how everyone experiences them differently.
Teddy and Owen displayed survivors' guilt and frustration that they did everything right and he still died. At the end we see Teddy in a catatonic state and it made me think that she might be sick with COVID herself or that there was something else wrong. While I've never been a Teddy and Owen shipper I did like the moment at the end where Owen noticed something was wrong and came over to her and told her that he would take her home and when she didn't respond he picked her up and carried her.
It reminded me of the Season 2 episode where Denny dies and Izzie refuses to leave his side so Alex picks her up and carries her over to a chair in her prom dress. Very different relationships, but a nice parallel in my opinion. This episode had a lot of those. Teddy seeing DeLuca in other people’s faces was freaky! I have to say that guy is way more interesting as a ghost then he ever was alive.  
I totally got Helm's reaction. I understand why she said and thought those horrible things about DeLuca. He was an ass for a really long time. I probably would have done the same thing myself, but that doesn't mean she wanted him dead. I thought what Maggie did for her was wonderful. My heart broke for Schmitt when he described his emotions. Richard was angry and Bailey went overboard trying to figure out what happened. Everyone's experience of a loss is different and I like that they showed that.
I’m glad that Richard told Bailey what she needed to hear. It was painful, but in trying to find an answer or a reason for what happened she was unintentionally hurting the people around her who were suffering too. The strength of Richard and Bailey's relationship is that they can tell each other the truth when no one else can or will. I loved his monologue to Catherine about trying to find a meaning in the puzzle of life and questioning his faith which is such a big part of his sobriety. James Pickens Jr. did a beautiful job in that scene.
Say what you want about Catherine, but I loved her response. Richard was trying to find meaning in the meaningless and in response she shared with him that her latest scans showed that the cancer hadn’t grown. Logically it should have, but it didn’t. Sometimes there are miracles and sometimes there are senseless deaths. Life is a puzzle. We don’t always understand it. That was exactly what Richard needed to hear in that moment.
On a more upbeat note, I loved the beach scenes this week! They were perfect! They were everything I dreamed of for my favourite characters and more! We got to see Derek and Meredith get closer and talk about the kids. When Meredith is heartbroken that Derek never got to meet Ellis or to know her he tells her all of these wonderful things about her. How she’s just like Meredith and makes it clear that he’s watching over them always.
He talks about Zola and how she writes to him in her journal and how Meredith taught her to ride a bike. I teared up! I've been waiting for them to discuss the kids and here it is! Hearing Derek talk about Ellis and knowing that he watches over Meredith and the kids was so emotional for me. I loved hearing him describe who she is and getting to learn more about her. I'm glad he encouraged her to go back. As much as Derek and Meredith miss each other she's needed back in the land of the living.
Her kids need her and so does everyone else. I loved Derek's gentle teasing. His facial expressions. And then there are her scenes with Hayes! God they were perfect! I've been waiting for this! I loved how Meredith kept joyfully asking him what he did to make Ellis smile so wide and laugh so loudly. She knows he can't hear her yet there she is dying to know what he said or did. The sound of her voice when she said that was everything for me. They already feel like a couple. So much in sync.
I love that Derek, who was shown to be extremely jealous in life, encouraged her to hear Hayes out. I really felt like he was giving her his blessing and the fact that they established that Hayes has met the kids virtually and they know who he is sealed the deal for me. Hayes has now received Cristina’s approval, Derek’s blessing, and is shown to have positive relationships with Meredith’s friends and family in Seattle. I loved that Hayes told Meredith to fight and talked about how her kids were doing and how everyone needs her.
I loved that he came and sat at her bedside and begged her to fight and not give up and that he talked to her even though he wasn’t sure if she could hear him. I love that he sat with her through the virtual memorial even though he wasn’t close to DeLuca and didn’t like him. The cheerful greeting and familiarity with which he greets Amelia and Zola and the stories he tells Meredith indicates that he’s been having regular video chats with Amelia, Maggie, Link, and the kids and that he’s chosen to stay by Meredith’s side when he just as easily could have left while she was on a call with her kids.  
It will also make the transition easier when do start dating because the kids will already know him. The music in this episode was really beautiful. Especially the songs that played during the beach scenes. I really enjoyed the drunken Link, Jo, and Jackson scene. I felt it brought much needed levity and humour to the episode the same way the beer scene with Jackson, Link, and Winston did in the previous episode. Their scenes were funny and raw and provided a good balance for the episode.
I also loved seeing more of Jo and Jackson's friends with benefits relationship and more of Jo and Link and Jackson and Link's friendship. I'd actually forgotten that Jackson and Link were friends so it was cool to see that dynamic again and that Link is supportive of their situation. The drinking game to me felt like a throwback to the Season 2 episode where Meredith and Cristina are at Joe’s Bar playing a game of whose life sucks the most and she tells them that Derek is married and Cristina tells her she’s pregnant. These revelations eventual lead to Cristina scheduling an abortion and declaring Meredith her person.
It was cool to see Maggie and Winston working together at Grey Sloan Memorial. Winston living in Boston was only going to go on for so long because as we've all found out this past year there's only so much you can do virtually. I knew he'd be moving to Seattle at some point and I'm glad to see him working at the hospital and hanging with Maggie's family. The scene where he danced it out with the kids was too cute! I'll be interested to see more of their dynamic moving forward as Maggie used to be his teacher and is now his boss. I'm also glad that both Winston and Hayes are finally getting the proper screen time they deserve.
Their storyline with the naked guy cracked me up! My two favourite lines of the episode were when the guy freaked out because he realized he wasn’t wearing his mask and Maggie said, “You’re not wearing much of anything.” And when Maggie and Winston went looking for him and Zander Perez, the resident from Pac North, told them, “If you’re looking for a naked guy he went that way.” I laughed so hard!
The scenes with Zola got me. She is a real trouper. She definitely is Meredith Grey's daughter through and through. I'm a big believer in found family and one of the things Grey's does really is show that there are many different ways to be a family and that family is what you make of it. True family is made up of the people who love and support you unconditionally not genetics. I really love that they've shown the strength of that bond between Zola and her family.
My favourite hidden moment of the episode was Tom! He appears in the background at DeLuca's memorial which means he's getting better. If he's well enough to be outside at the memorial then his condition has greatly improved since last we saw and that's great! Tom's a wonderfully complex character and I'm glad he's doing better. He appears in a bunch of deleted scenes that were released through the Grey’s Anatomy Twitter account which I highly recommend. The writing in this episode was excellent!
This episode was written by Adrian Wenner whose previous credits include the Season 16 episode ‘A Hard Pill to Swallow’ in which Meredith and Hayes work that vaping case together and get to know each for the first time. Honestly, my only complaint about this episode is that I wish they’d done it sooner! I wish they had bumped this and the previous episode up. The Mid-Season Finale felt very anti-climatic to me and was poorly received by a lot of fans. I wish they had just scrapped that episode or combined it with what we saw in the Mid-Season Premiere and then jumped into this episode after the break. But we’re here now and that’s the important thing.
Onto next week’s promo. Damn does it look interesting! We see that Owen has brought Teddy home and she’s not eating or speaking and he’s worried if her condition does not improve he’ll have to admit her. I’m sure he’s having flashbacks to when Cristina did the same thing after the plane crash. She appears to be experiencing some kind of nightmare sequence where she sees DeLuca as a ghost and Meredith speaks to her. Looks intense!
Until next time!
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hisunshiine · 4 years
Text
—also your daddy | knj x reader x jjk
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AN: ORIGINALLY POSTED TO MY TWITTER. ITS A 2-SHOT... IM COMBINING THEM FOR EASY READING HERE. 
PT 1: Daddy/Dom vibes with Bratty Sub vibes. //TW// biting, spanking, edging
PT 2: my first time writing THIS type of scene... //TW// biting, spanking, edging, oral (m&f), facial, and uhhhhh *cough*2dicksatonceinthesamehole*cough*akaDP*cough*
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𝔸𝕝𝕤𝕠 𝕐𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝔻𝕒𝕕𝕕𝕪 | ℕ𝕒𝕞𝕛𝕠𝕠𝕟/ℝ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕖𝕣/𝕁𝕦𝕟𝕘𝕜𝕠𝕠𝕜 | 𝑜𝓃𝑒𝓈𝒽𝑜𝓉?
And
𝔸𝕝𝕤𝕠 𝕐𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝔻𝕒𝕕𝕕𝕪 PT. 2 | ℕ𝕒𝕞𝕛𝕠𝕠𝕟/ℝ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕖𝕣/𝕁𝕦𝕟𝕘𝕜𝕠𝕠𝕜 | 𝓉𝓌𝑜𝓈𝒽𝑜𝓉
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Dating both Namjoon and Jungkook was literally getting the best of both worlds. You consider yourself lucky, and would never want to do anything to mess it up. So you were afraid to tell Jungkook that you wanted him to dom you. You and Namjoon definitely had a Dom/Sub relationship in the bedroom, while you and Koo were more… vanilla. And those special occasions that you got to spend with both of them between the sheets? Well, Namjoon often toned it down for the younger as he viewed him as his baby brother still. But you had seen the way that Jungkook could get on stage. You knew he had it in him to dom you. He just needed to learn how. And who better to teach him than the one who already did such a great job at it?
With a special occasion coming up, the celebration of their anniversary as a group, you were laying in bed with Namjoon while Jungkook was at the studio working on a track for ARMY. 
“Joonie...” you traced your fingers across his bare chest, pouting your lips cutely before looking down at him from where you were leaning onto his side, “I want to do something special, to celebrate with the two of you. I think you both would really enjoy it.”
Namjoon raises an eyebrow as he looks up at you from where he is sprawled on his back.
“Well, I really want Jungkook to be Daddy. And you know how to do that so well… I thought if you got to be Daddy over him and me and show him how to do it, that you would both enjoy it.”
“Is that what you want princess?” Namjoon lifts the arm that was laid out across your pillow and lifts it, gently massaging your scalp as you preen, body pushing flush to his.
“Yes, I want it really bad...” you whimper when his other hand makes contact with your core, gently rubbing your bud.
“I’ll think about it,” was his response, and all thoughts of it left you as his lips attached to your neck as he rolled to be on top of you.
-
It had been several days since then, and you had forgotten all about your request. You had been so busy helping out with the Festa events and BangBangCon, since you worked for BH, that you didn’t even realize that the dorm was eerily empty when you arrived.
“Hmm, the text did say tonight? Right?” you quietly murmur to yourself, pulling your phone from the back pocket of your jeans. Swiping to your messages, you didn’t notice Jungkook step into the hallway, his eyes on you.
“Princess. Bedroom. Now.” Jungkook turned and disappeared down the hall towards Namjoon’s room, and you followed, still confused. 
“Koo, what’s going-- oh!” 
You were suddenly lifted and thrown onto the bed. It was dim in the room, and you tried to sit up, but the silk sheets made your palms slip.
“Okay Kook, now tell her what you want her to do.” Namjoon’s voice echoed from the corner where he sat in a chair. 
“Uh, Princess… strip and lay back down.” Jungkook said, voice faltering a little at first as he attempts to be in charge. You chuckle, and Namjoon glares at you, then turns to Jungkook.
“Ask her what’s funny.”
Jungkook repeats the phrase, and you school your face into a neutral expression as you answer.
“Nothing, Koo.”
“Jungkook, take charge.” Namjoon sighs, uncrossing his legs as he stands. They’re both still in the black suits they were wearing for some photo op for Festa, though their coats were missing, and it only made Namjoon look more intimidating as he walked over. 
“Like this.” Namjoon wrapped his long fingers around your throat gently; a warning. “What was so funny, Princess? Hmm?”
“N-nothing, Daddy.” You instantly reply, compliant.
“See how she instantly melts in my grip? How she didn’t call me Joonie?” He turns to face Jungkook. “Command it with your energy. Like when you’re on stage.”
Jungkook nods, and you see the way his eyes transition from your soft baby Koo into Jungkook of BTS. Fuck. You feel your panties begin to stick to you. Namjoon releases you, going back to sit in the chair.
“I think I asked you nicely to take off your clothes, I won’t ask you again.” Jungkook moved in front of you, unbuttoning his sleeves and rolling them up. You stand and quickly rid yourself of your shirt and jeans, saving your now soaked panties for last. Feeling bratty, you throw them at Namjoon, who just smirks at you when he catches them. Hopping back onto the bed, you lay back, getting comfortable as Jungkook watches. His persona is faltering slightly again, and he glances at Namjoon for help.
“Tease her, make her beg for it. And if she does something you didn’t tell her she could do, punish her.”
Jungkook swallows so hard you can see his Adam's apple bob, but he nods, appears to steel himself, and then he climbs onto the bed, the mattress sinking where his knees are. He brings his face to yours, kissing you gently as his hand massages your breast. You kiss him back, and your hand rises to cup his neck, but once there, Jungkook removes it and pins your wrist to the bed. 
“I didn’t say you could touch me, baby.”
You frown, but don’t say anything as he begins to kiss you again, his hand now drifting to the apex of your thighs. His fingers rub up and down across your slit, pressing on your clit and gathering what wetness is already there. Slowly, he inserts just one finger a little bit of the way into you, before rotating it in circles. It feels good and you buck slightly searching for more, but he pulls his finger back.
“Nuh-uh, pretty baby. You need to follow directions.” Jungkook smiles down at you, but you’re not liking this. Jungkook never denies you what you want. You’re starting to regret asking Namjoon to teach him some things.
“Jungkook. She’s being bratty. If you don’t nip it in the bud, she won’t take you seriously. Like this.”
Namjoon climbs onto the bed too as Jungkook rolls to the side, and he resumes where Jungkook left off. You kiss him as he fingers you, and soon you’re ready for a second one. You buck again, so lost in the kiss and feelings, and instantly feel Namjoon remove his lips and bring them to your neck, where he bites you. Not hard enough to break skin or really hurt, but it shocks your eyes open, and you whimper. 
“What did your Daddy say?” Namjoon asks, nodding his head towards Jungkook.
“Follow directions.”
“Seems you’re just being bratty hmm? What should we do about it, Koo?”
Jungkook looks around the room as he thinks, and then he gets off the bed, fidgeting with his pants.
“Turn over baby, get your ass in the air.”
You oblige, and a few seconds later, your exposed cunt is being stuffed with Jungkook’s hard length. You gasp, fingers grasping the sheets tightly as you try and catch your bearings, but it’s futile. He pulls out of you, and you hear and feel him spit before he’s slamming back into you, repeatedly. It feels good, despite the stretch you weren’t ready for, and quickly you feel your climax creeping on you.
“My needy little baby can’t control herself tonight...” Jungkook pants in time with his thrusts.You feel yourself gush hearing him call you his needy little baby, and soon he’s sliding in and out of you easily as you adjust to take him. 
“I’m sorry,” you moan, but Namjoon interferes again, telling Jungkook that your apology isn’t good enough.
“I’m sorry, Daddy!” you cry out, but Jungkook laughs.
“Too late for that, sweetheart.” You feel his hand leave your hip, and then your ass smarts as you feel the sting of his palm. 
Your torso collapses onto the bed from the onslaught of Jungkook plunging into you, and you make eye contact with Namjoon. He’s stripped down as well, and is stroking his cock slowly in his hand as he watches you get plowed. Jungkook spits again, but this time slowly, as you feel it drip and spread onto your unused hole, and he brings his thumb to rub circles on it as he slows the thrusts, instead switching to roll his hips deep and hard into you. You feel an orgasm coming, and you close your eyes, squeezing your walls around Jungkook’s hardened member, but much to your dismay, Namjoon got up and pulled Jungkook out of you. You’re left without anyone touching you.
“This is where you punish her, Koo. We want her begging.”
You whimper, but they ignore you, waiting for your impending climax to disappear.
“Do you understand now baby?” Namjoon asks.
“Yes, Daddy.”
“Jungkook is also your Daddy tonight. And we’re not done with you yet.”
You moan when you feel a tongue slide up from your clit and kisses your opening, before lapping at your juices. 
“Not even close.”
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You were not happy. Ass still poised and in the air, you just had to lay there and feel the wonderful build up that you had been waiting for, dissolve into an overwhelming feeling of want. 
FUCK, you wanted them to ravage you, but you didn’t want to beg. You never had to beg Jungkook a day in your life, always so eager to please you, he would do anything you asked. Knowing that Namjoon was trying to get you to cave in made your resolve that much stronger. You knew you had asked for this, but you weren’t prepared. You weren’t prepared to have your baby Koo treat you like the filthy, begging, bratty baby girl that you were.
Namjoon turned to Jungkook.
“Now, this time, tell her what you want her to do. Don’t stutter, don’t smile, don’t be so… nice. She only gets that when she behaves.”
You hear Jungkook take a deep breath. 
“Baby girl, come suck Daddy’s dick.” 
You move slowly, pouting until you feel another sting to your same ass cheek that was spanked earlier. 
“Ow! That fucking hurt!” You whine, knowing full well that it didn’t actually hurt.
Jungkook broke his role, reaching for you and apologies already pouring from his pink lips.
“Princess, I-I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to really hu--”
He stops talking when he sees you laughing as you flip over.
“Well played, baby girl.” Namjoon is slowly clapping from where he’s seated, and you chance a look at him. His words are warm, but his eyes are anything but. You shiver, knowing your bratty nature is making it worse for yourself. Perfect.
You’re so busy deciphering Namjoon’s body language that you don’t expect it when Jungkook grips you by the back of your neck. His strong, lithe fingers apply just a bit of pressure, and your eyes snap to his. They’re dark, pupils blown out.
“I think it’s time you learned your lesson, princess.”
His hand guides your head down until you’re eye level with his cock. The velvety skin is covered with a sheen of your slick, and you’re seconds away from finding out how you taste.
Jungkook tapped the head on your lips, the act making your pussy contract as you saw a side of him you hadn’t experienced. Opening your mouth, you slide your lips along the mushroomed tip, swirling your tongue around it. 
“Just like that, baby.” Jungkook praises, and you feel your ego strut. You take him farther into your mouth, dragging your tongue along the bottom and enjoying the heaviness of his girth on your tongue. Once you have the tip touching the back of your throat, you swallow, and Jungkook grips your hair with both hands.
“Fuck, princess, I’m gonna fuck your dirty mouth now.” 
Hollowing your cheeks, you let Jungkook take control of your head, and in no time, you’re slobbering loudly as he sheaths himself repeatedly in your warm, wet mouth. He’s grunting in between musical moans, panting as he tries to hold himself back. You feel tears on your cheeks as you stifle your gag reflex, but soon he’s pulling out of your mouth, stroking his cock before you feel his release coat the bottom half of your face and chest. 
Jungkook had NEVER cum on your face before, and you were honestly so shocked at this person he had become. 
“Nice touch, Kook.” Namjoon nodded approvingly, then turned to you. 
“Lick it off your lips, baby. Now.”
You obeyed, tongue dragging across your lips, Jungkook’s cum salty as you swallowed it. 
“Jungkook, clean her face, then make her swallow that too.”
Jungkook leaned in, licking your face where his cum had landed, and then tongue kissed you, transferring his seed into your mouth. It was dirty, and it was so fucking hot. 
“A good Dom won’t ever make his baby girl do something he wouldn’t be okay with doing either.” Namjoon stood up, and Jungkook took a few steps back from you, letting his hyung stand between your legs at the end of his bed. You waited obediently. 
“Lean back princess. You did well. Let me make you feel good.”
He took your legs and folded them towards you once you followed his instructions, and you couldn’t hold back the sounds when you felt his pink pout make contact with your throbbing center. He hummed in approval, enjoying the taste of your pussy as he teased your lips apart, dipping his tongue into your hole and curling. He moved his tongue to your clit, swirling and teasing you until he could feel your legs shaking. 
“Koo, come finger her while I continue this,” Namjoon’s muffled voice came from between your thighs, and your back arched as you felt two fingers push into you. 
“Shit, princess, you’re so fucking wet.”
“Please Daddy, please...” You gave in, begging for more. God, you wanted more. 
You felt Jungkook’s fingers speed up, rubbing your bundle of nerves as Namjoon suckled your bud gently flicking it simultaneously. You could feel it growing, but you didn’t want to be edged again, so you didn’t say anything, just continued trying to hold back your loud whines of how good they felt pleasuring you. Jungkook’s free hand groped your chest, nimble fingers moistened by his own mouth pinching and pulling your nipple. You rolled your hips, seeking the release you craved. 
“Fuck! Daddy, no!” 
They had done it again, effectively brought you to the cusp, and then stopped, leaving you teary-eyed. You wanted to cum so badly, and you were starting to get pissed that Namjoon was denying you. This wasn’t what you asked for. 
Sitting up quickly, you are about to speak your mind when Jungkook grabs your hands and pushes you back down, his knees spreading your thighs wide. The head of his cock is dripping precum, and you can feel it as it rubs gently across your sensitive clit. You sigh out a moan that’s half a cry for him to bury himself inside you.
“Please Daddy, please fuck me.” You open your eyes wide, pouting as you beg Jungkook to take you. “Please let me cum, Daddy.”
Without answering you, Jungkook surges forward, plunging himself so far into you, you feel him hit your cervix. 
“Fuck, Jungkook,” Namjoon intones lowly, “that’s what I’m talking about. Take charge, make her beg for it, and if she behaves, give it to her.”
Jungkook slowly slides himself out of you before ramming himself deep again, and you could have came right then and there. Each time he pulls out, you can feel the vein along his shaft rub against your g-spot, and you ache for more, need to be full until you can’t remember your name. 
“Fuck, it’s so wet, Joon, you gotta feel this.” Jungkook is panting as he keeps up a steady rhythm, hips rolling smoothly as he taps your cervix everytime. You roll your hips back, matching him, and let out a loud keening sound when you feel Namjoon’s finger slide inside of you while Jungkook is still there as well. Jungkook stills, and you feel the pressure of Namjoon’s second finger stretching you wider. 
“Can you take two of us baby?”
“I… I don’t know.”
“Be a good girl and try, princess, okay?”
Namjoon leans around Jungkook’s body and presses a kiss to your lips, and you find yourself nodding, and he continues to scissor his fingers around Jungkook’s length.
“H-hyung, shit, please hurry.. I’m not gonna last much longer with you doing that.” 
Namjoon chuckles, and you groan as you feel Jungkook’s cock pull out. You’re empty and wanting. They scoot you up the bed and turn you onto your side, both of them taking either side of you. Jungkook brushes your hair out of your face, and leans close to kiss you. 
“Let us know if it hurts you, baby.”
You nod, and Jungkook shivers as Namjoon’s hand coats his dick with lubricant. You watch, enthralled as Namjoon’s large hand strokes Jungkook once, twice, three times and then he is entering you again, holding your leg up for easier access. Seconds later, you feel a second head push against your opening, and Namjoon’s cock nestles itself inside you as Jungkook pulls out slightly. 
You’ve never felt so wonderfully full in your life. 
“Tell us when baby, we want you to feel good.” Namjoon says through gritted teeth, his free hand gently rubbing your ass as he buries his face in your neck. Jungkook’s doe eyes are wider than you’ve ever seen them, and his breathing is slow and deep as he tries to contain himself. 
“Okay, Daddies, you can move.”
Slowly, they move in tandem, one pulling out as the other thrusts in, and you don’t think it can feel any better than this. Both of your men fucking your tight pussy; this was everything you ever wanted. Within seconds, you were clenching, pussy contracting as you were overcome with the hardest orgasm you had ever felt. Body shaking, they continued, helping you prolong your high.
“Ahh, fuck I’m gonna cum baby.” Jungkook said against your lips, and you felt when he spurted his hot cum inside of you. He whined as he pulled out, his cock over sensitive as it rubbed flush against Namjoon’s.
Namjoon continued to fuck into you, stuffing you to the brim with Jungkook’s cum as he sped up his pace, burrowing himself into you. You felt your climax building again, but Jungkook was swallowing your moans, his tongue tangling with yours in the most raunchy, lewd kiss you had ever had with him. You felt Namjoon bite into your shoulder with a grunt as his hips stuttered, and your tight little cunt was overflowing with a mixture of juices. 
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You lay in the bed, cocooned by both of your Daddies, Jungkook and Namjoon holding you between them. Jungkook had his head lower than yours to your chest, and Namjoon was your big spoon. Namjoon showed Jungkook how to take care of you afterwards, showering you with praises at how well you had done, (“Such a good baby girl, taking us both, I’m so proud of you princess”), and as well as affection with kisses and soft touches. They wiped you clean, and took turns holding you while they each cleaned themselves up. Separately they each whispered I Love You’s and your heart burst knowing they felt the same way you did. 
“I love you both, DaddyKoo and DaddyJoon.” You yawned and they both held you a little tighter.
“I love you, princess.”
“I love you, baby girl.”
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Flexibility: One Self, Multiple Roles
New Post has been published on https://personalcoachingcenter.com/flexibility-one-self-multiple-roles/
Flexibility: One Self, Multiple Roles
A Coaching Model By Milagros Echecopar, Evolution Coach, PERU
There is no reality except the one contained within us. That is why so many people live such unreal life. They take the images outside of them for reality and never allow the world within to assert itself. Hermann Hesse,Steppenwolf
I have been what people call a devoted and surrogate caregiving daughter. I have also been a loving mother, a successful international executive, a supporting wife, and some more, all at the same time. And I can tell, it’s demanding, very demanding, to a point where I lost sight of who I was. To deal with all that was required of me, to be the best I could in each role, I unconsciously started to tamper down certain aspects of my personality, and disregard feelings I thought were not serving me.
Thinking I was being clever, doing the right thing, excelling in all my roles, I was so wrong. I might have looked smart, I might have looked like I was doing a great job, but I could have done much better because I was failing in being ME (funny how those are my initials, although MEK is what many people call me).
We tend to live putting labels on ourselves and to others: I’m a daughter, I’m a mother, I’m an executive, I’m a coach, you are a teacher, you are a grandfather, you are an artist, etc. It’s fine to have those labels, they help us identify the roles we are performing and provide information about ourselves, but they do not define us.
The titles we accumulate during our lives can be enriching, bring us joy and fulfillment, but they can also become planks that, one after the other, build a wall, a box, that hides our true selves from us, from others. And they can become heavy, hiding our inner self, and constricting, limiting the space for personal traits that we think, feel do not serve us to be at our bests while performing the roles those titles entail.
And therein lies my problem with those labels, when they start to define who we are, when we, or others, use them to put us in a particular box. Those labels define the role we are performing but do not constitute a definition of our core, our inner self.  When the way we live our lives is determined by those labels, by the boxes in which we or others have put ourselves, we live in stress. In stress between what is required from us to fulfill those roles and who we are, what drives us, what we need to feel whole, at peace with the way we live our lives, and at peace with the roles we are performing at that moment.
I started this journey with my mother in mind, but along the way, I’ve found it has been for me too, and for all who face the challenge of performing at their best different roles, especially working caregivers. So many of us are daughters, mothers, wives, workers, and caregivers, all at the same time.
The paradox is that even though we are the same person in each of those roles, we are not. While performing those roles, we tend to show only the sides of ourselves that we consider serve us better for said roles; and we, and the people around us, get used to that representation of ourselves.
  We and they are oblivious of the different traits of our personalities that can be of so much value, but that we only bring in when performing other roles, if they have not been wholly disregarded. What is worst is that we and they are not conscious of the demands that the accumulation of titles puts on us. People forget a human being is performing that role and see only the executive, the father, the son, but not the whole person.
Initially, I had thought about focusing primarily on informal caregivers because I have seen and experienced the challenges one faces when performing that role. Of course, I still would like to work with them. But now, looking back at my own experience and my coaching journey so far, I realize that the challenges caregivers face can be similar to those faced by people who find themselves defined by their titles and do not integrate their whole selves in the different roles they are performing.
Life sometimes throughs at us roles we did not ask for, we did not foresee, we do not want, as in the case of caregivers, but we feel we must take them on. Life also sometimes takes away from the roles we were attached to, we liked, we felt proud of, as when we are laid off. When either of those happens, many different feelings can arise within us: frustration, anger, despair, fear, insecurity. We might feel that something is not entirely right within ourselves but can’t put the finger on it. And since we must keep performing our other roles, we disregard those feelings and focus on what “serves” us to keep going.
That’s what happens when a loved one suddenly is diagnosed with an impairing illness, and we are put in the role of caregivers. It’s so unexpected that some of us do not even recognize ourselves as caregivers, despite its impact on our lives, and we just go on doing what is expected of us as good daughters, mothers, wives, husbands. Roberts&Donahue (1994) indicate that caretaking has adverse effects on the well-being of the caretaker and that it can be impacting the satisfaction they feel about the role they associate with caregiving.
They found that was the case of middle-aged women who associated their role as daughters with caregiving. It’s also what happens when someone is promoted and is now the manager of her/his previous partners. The new title comes with an array of expectations from us and from others, not only about our performance but also about the way we conduct ourselves. Or when we are laid off and find ourselves without the title that we and others identified as what defines us.
As contradictory as it might sound to all I’ve exposed so far about titles, not recognizing that being a caregiver is a different role from being a daughter, a husband, a mother adds an unnecessary layer of difficulty to our role. Not being conscious of what might change in the way people interact with us after a promotion makes the transition harder. Not being truly aware that we are much more than the roles we play can leave us mourning for a phase that is no longer going to come back and missing all the opportunities to create new paths for ourselves.
Because it is not about disregarding the roles we are performing, it’s about embracing them and making them our own without losing sight that they do not define us. If we are not conscious of the differences between our various roles and the diverse traits of our personalities that go beyond those roles, we cannot determine what within our vast array of personal resources we can use and where we will need help.
Fleeson and colleagues’ research, as cited in Wundrack et al. (2018), suggests that everyone will eventually express the entire range of possible personality state levels but that there are individual differences in the frequency with which the different state levels occur in everyday life. Furthermore, Hung Kit Fok et al.(2007) suggest that personality serves as a vital factor in orchestrating the organization of the ”if-then” associations between situational factors and endorsement of different display rules.
If we are conditioned by the titles we carry, the way we display our different personality state levels is also conditioned. Thus, the more conscious we are of what influences that display, the more in command we will be, and the better equipped we will be to dig into the richness of our personalities to perform our roles.
What if we were to acknowledge the new roles, the demands they entail, and embrace them? What if we were to acknowledge that that phase of our life is gone? What if we were to acknowledge that, despite those changes, we are still the US with all the good and “bad”? What if we were to acknowledge our whole selves and bring it in our different roles and stages in our lives?
That’s what drives me as a coach, partnering with people who want to embrace who they are at that moment in their lives, uncover the richness of their inner selves, bring their whole being in their different roles, and realize how much fulfilling their lives can be when they do so.
It’s like composing a piece of music; sometimes, one instrument, or a group of instruments, will take center stage while others play at different levels. Still, they are all integrated to produce that unique and beautiful piece of music. If one instrument is missing, the music might still sound good, but it can be more beautiful if all of them are playing at their proper time. And it doesn’t have to be a rigid composition; it can be like jazz, flexible, adapting to the context, the mood, and the musicians’ abilities.
How is this connected to coaching? I propose that by partnering with a coach, clients can move from a place where they are disregarding different aspects of their personalities and disregarding their need to tend to themselves to a place where they acknowledge and integrate those aspects in the way they live, they perform their different roles and interact with their loved ones, families, friends, colleagues, etc. Clients can become more flexible, be able to find better ways to integrate their different personality traits while transitioning through diverse roles and evolve.
Flexibility: One Self, Multiple Roles Coaching Model
Coaching provides a safe space for clients to stand on their vulnerability and tackle the complex task of understanding their mental state in real life, which requires considerations of their circumstances, beliefs, knowledge, feelings, intentions, and personality (Wundrack et al., 2018). Coaching is also about partnering with clients and supporting them in finding ways to move forward. But, if their process is conditioned by their titles and clients are unaware of it, how can they genuinely understand themselves? How can they be conscious of what is holding them back and of all the resources they could use to move in the direction they desire?
Thus, some of the questions I would endeavor to help clients find their answers to would be: what are the belief, value that anchors their current perspective, and the role they are performing? How can they take perspective and let go of that anchor and/or their unconscious bias? What would it take for them to move into action to shorten the distance between who they are, who they can be, and how they are perceived by themselves and others? How can they find a more satisfactory way to perform their roles? Because, as Roberts&Donahue (1994) note, the similarity between descriptions of any given social role and who we are (our general self) could be related to the degree to which we feel committed to and satisfied with that role.
We would work with clients to help them let go of anchors that keep them stuck and inflexible; accept and acknowledge the multiple options and perspectives available to them and integrate their whole selves and roles, building a different relationship with them and making transition processes smoother and more fulfilling.
For that to happen, we consider that a Sense of Coherence (SOC), as defined by Antonovsky (1979)as cited in Eyzaguirre (2018), is needed. SOC is the global orientation one has towards life and the ability to perceive it in a dynamic, lasting, and confident way. According to Eyzaguirre (2018), the three dimensions of SOC are:
Comprehensibility: ability to understand and explain the situation faced, becoming predictable by the person;
Manageability: having the own internal resources that are available in the person to be able to face the situation and be able to control it; and
Emotional sense: the situation has a meaning for the person and is therefore considered as a commitment capable of challenging and facing.
Antonovsky (1993), as cited in Eyzaguirre (2018), sustains that the more developed and strengthened the SOC is, the greater the willingness to perceive life events as less stressful and with greater control and meaning over them. For example, in the case of caregivers, they found that the greater their SOC, the more balanced and positive care they would provide. They sustain that this is because SOC as a resource allows them to see the patient’s disease as less threatening and, instead, perceive reality from the healthiest.
Moreover, according to Eyzaguirre (2018), Antonovsky (1994) indicated that successful coping with stressful events brings positive health consequences and is therefore expected to influence satisfaction, happiness, and positive affect. Thus, “the development of a strong SOC in the face of the burden and the stressful stimulus, allows to reinforce and improve the health of the person, by the cognitive and emotional capacity to identify the dimensions of the problem as probabilities and as challenges that can be explained and overcome by the internal resources themselves” (Antonovsky, 1979as cited in Eyzaguirre, 2018).
Based on the benefits that a highly developed SOC can bring to our clients, we propose working with them on growing and strengthen their SOC.  To create a process that can contribute to a fruitful journey, we have considered models like Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Relational Frame Theory (RFT), and Hulbert-Williams et al.’s (2016)Contextual Behavioral Coaching (CBC).
As per the description provided by Han et al. (2021), citing Hayes et al.(2012), ACT is based on a psychological flexibility model, and some of the aspects covered when applying this model are:
cognitive defusion (i.e., stepping back or detaching from unhelpful thoughts and emotions to reduce their dominance over behaviors);
self-as-context (i.e., observing thoughts and emotions without judgment);
values (identifying and connecting values to behaviors for a meaningful life); and
committed action (making efforts to establish patterns of actions/behaviors to live a meaningful life aligned with values).
Grounded in contextual behavioral science, relational frame theory (RFT) explores language and thoughts’ origins and philosophical connotations (PsycInfo Database Record, 2020). Building on that, Hulbert-Williams et al. (2016) take both ACT and RFT and incorporate Contextual Behavioural Science concepts to propose a third approach which they call Contextual Behavioural Coaching (CBC).
Integrating the concepts and tools provided by ACT, RFT, and CBC, we would partner with our clients to develop and strengthen their SOC to find inner balance and satisfaction in the different roles they perform.
The stages we would cover throughout our work with our clients would be exploration, identify anchors, take perspective, flexibility, and action.
Exploration
This aspect of the coaching process will aim to deepen client’s self-understanding and increase their acceptance of challenges.
In a study conducted by Hulbert-Williams et al. (2016), they worked with a patient to help her contact her feelings of stuckness and the accompanying thoughts of failure. Then, they traced how she would numb these feelings with busyness (and occasionally, wine); and identified that such behaviors seemed to be serving the function of experiential avoidance. By exploring her feelings, she deepened the understanding of herself and what was driving her behavior.
In the case of caregivers, Han et al. (2021) cite Brodaty&Donki (2009), found that accepting the losses of relatives’ abilities and care demands assists family caregivers to better adapt.
Identify Anchors
When we look at identifying anchors, we will partner with clients to find what they are fused to; what stories they are telling themselves that bring rigidity to the way they undertake their different roles in life.
AsHulbert-Williams et al. (2016) indicate, being fused to specific stories we tell ourselves leads to fixed patterns of behavior which can be unworkable in the context of client values and desired goals. In a state of fusion, it can be hard to separate ourselves from our thoughts.
Looking back at what we initially described as how we can be conditioned by specific roles, Hayes et al. (1986), as cited in Hulbert-Williams et al. (2016), found that rule-governed behavior is inflexible. That is, in the presence of unwritten rules, human behavior can often fail to respond to other contingencies of reinforcement.
Working with our clients on identifying and acknowledging those anchors and rule-governed behaviors will contribute to channel their energy in more positive, productive, and flexible ways.
Take Perspective
We propose taking perspective as providing psychological space between self and thoughts for clients to challenge their current view and raise awareness that their perspective is transient.
Hulbert-Williams et al. (2016) propose that techniques which encourage defusion can be helpful, especially when clients describe feeling stuck in a given pattern of behavior. Such techniques help clients move from a place where they try to battle with those behaviors, and the associated thoughts, to a place where they notice them and are curious about them – ‘defusing’ from them to provide a bit of psychological breathing space between themselves and their thoughts.
To take perspective, the previous step, identifying anchors, is required, as perspective-taking involves two processes: anchoring and adjustment (Wundrack et al., 2018). We need to establish the initial anchoring perspective, the person’s perspective, from which clients start, so clients find ways to challenge it and raise awareness that said perspective is temporal, transient. Being aware that their current perspective is transient and only one of many possible perspectives undermines the significance of their point of view as an anchor when considering other perspectives. Therefore, clients may be more able or willing to deviate from their perspectives and may be open to making more adjustments (Wundrack et al., 2018).
Broadening the number of possible perspectives, incorporating how thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and circumstances fit together in their lives, can help clients build a richer repertoire of plausible, self-experienced perspectives that facilitates adjustment (Wundrack et al., 2018). This process, called perspective-pooling, builds on the increased growth in diverse experiences over time. In other words, perspective-pooling builds on the increased growth in diverse self-knowledge for people high in state variability (Wundrack et al., 2018).
Flexibility
This diverse self-knowledge will be a stepping stone for clients to view themselves as containers of different selves and develop a more flexible sense of self with realism. That means incorporating their context and what they want and can do about it, how they want to conduct themselves given the reality of their current circumstances.
In Hulbert-Williams et al.’s (2016)study, their client had lots of ‘I am’ stories that helped her make sense of the world but were not always helpful in terms of functioning effectively. Thus, we will work with clients on considering their many different selves, so they can see that they are the container for all of these ‘selves and, thus, behave more flexibly.
Flexibility is fundamental to our client’s success in dealing with the challenges they are facing. Greater psychological flexibility has been associated with a higher quality of life, emotional well-being, community participation, and resilience (Butler & Ciarrochi, 2007, as cited in Han et al.,2021). In the case of family caregivers, studies found psychological flexibility as a significant buffer against psychological distress (i.e., depressive symptoms, anxiety, and stress) (Jansen et al., 2017, as cited in Han et al., 2021)
It’s interesting to note that, according to Hulbert-Williams et al. (2016, P. 12):
 “In the work setting, psychological flexibility is predictive of job performance (Bond & Flaxman, 2006), attitudes toward learning new skills (ibid.), job satisfaction (Donaldso-Feilder & Bond, 2004), and lower absenteeism (Bond, Flaxman, & Bunce, 2008). In intervention studies, ACT has successfully improved acceptance and engagement with a work redesign intervention (Bond et al., 2008), and has reduced both workplace stress (Flaxman & Bond, 2010b; 2010a) and burnout (Vilardaga et al., 2011).”
Action
For this process to work and impact our clients’ lives, they will need to act, take small steps to build a different relationship with their ‘self’, and build muscle to adjust and incorporate diverse perspectives. As Hulbert-Williams et al. (2016) share, by broadening their client’s horizons, by contacting the parts of her ‘self’ that had been neglected, and by taking small steps of committed action, a new person emerged.
The goal is to partner with clients, so they take action and build a different relationship with themselves by acknowledging distressing thoughts and feelings, by acknowledging their anchors and looking at them from different perspectives, by acknowledging and embracing the diversity of their inner selves. And thus, incorporating them in the roles they perform in a more balanced and satisfactory way, therefore living a more fulfilling and meaningful life.
It will be such an enriching experience to share with my clients their journeys of self-discovery and witness how they find within themselves what they need to transition through their different roles and evolve and grow.
Learn How to Create Your Own Coaching Model
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References
Eyzaguirre, Valeria Mariel. Sobrecarga del cuidador y sentido de coherencia en padres de adolescentes con cáncer (Caregiveroverload and sense of coherence inparentsofadolescentswithcancer).http://hdl.handle.net/20.500.12404/12871.
Han, Areum & Yuen, Hon & Jenkins, Jeremy Acceptance and commitment therapy for family caregivers: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Journal of Health Psychology. 26. 82-102. 10.1177/1359105320941217.
Hulbert-Williams, Lee & Hochard, Kevin & Hulbert-Williams, Nick & Archer, Rob & Nicholls, Wendy & Wilson, Kelly Contextual behavioral coaching: An evidence-based model for supporting behavior change. International Coaching Psychology Review. 11. 30-42.
Hung Kit Fok, Chin Ming Hui, Michael Harris Bond, David Matsumoto, Seung Hee Yoo. Integrating personality, context, relationship, and emotion type into a model of display rules. 
PsycInfo Database Record (2020). Abstract of Dymond, S., & Roche, B. (Eds.). Advances in relational frame theory: Research and application. New Harbinger Publications, Inc.. https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2013-07435-000
Roberts, B. W.& Donahue, E. M. One personality, multiple selves: Integrating personality and social roles. Journal of Personality, 62(2), 199–218. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-6494.1994.tb00291.x
Skews, Rachael & Palmer, Stephen. Acceptance and commitment coaching: making the case for an ACT-based approach to coaching, published in https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Stephen-Palmer-6/publication/316455754_Acceptance_and_commitment_coaching_Making_the_case_for_an_ACT-based_approach_to_coaching
Wundrack, Richard & Prager, Julia & Asselmann, Eva & O’Connell, Garret & Specht, Jule. Does Intraindividual Variability of Personality States Improve Perspective-Taking? An Ecological Approach Integrating Personality and Social Cognition. Journal of Intelligence. 6. 50. 10.3390/jintelligence6040050.
Original source: https://coachcampus.com/coach-portfolios/coaching-models/flexibility/
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導演泰勒謝里丹作品,安潔莉娜裘莉​、尼可拉斯霍特​主演。一名親眼目睹家人被殺的青少年,在蒙大拿森林中遇見擁有絕佳生存知識的漢娜。然而,他們面對的不只是冷酷的追兵,還是一場森林大火的威脅。
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我们会告诉所有乐于接受我们作为新闻或有关今年电影时间表以及您如何观看自己喜欢的电影的信息的人。 希望我们能成为您寻找最佳电影推荐的最佳合作伙伴。 这些都是我们的,问候!
感谢您收看今天的视频。
希望您喜欢我分享的视频。 如果您喜欢我们分享的内容,请点赞或分享,让我们更加兴奋。
洒上开朗的笑容,让世界回到各种色彩中。
电影是一系列实时图像形式的艺术品,旋转这些实时图像可产生运动图像的幻觉,并以娱乐形式呈现。一系列图像的错觉会产生视频形式的连续运动。电影通常被称为电影或电影。电影是为商务和娱乐目的而创建的一种现代流行艺术形式。电影制作现
在已成为世界各地的热门行业,电影总是在等待着电影院。
电影有两种主要制作方式。首先是通过胶片相机的拍摄和录制技术。通过拍摄图像或物体来完成此方法。第二种使用传统的动画技术。此方法通过计算机图形动画或CGI技术完成。两者也可以与其他技术和视觉效果相结合。拍摄通常需要相对较长的
时间。它还需要一个工作台,从导演,制片人,编辑,衣橱,视觉效果等开始。
电影/电影的定义和定义
在电影中扮演角色的玩家被称为演员(男人)或女演员(女人)。另外还有“演员”一词,用作电影中角色很少的辅助角色。这与扮演越来越大角色的主要演员不同。必须要求既要有演员又要有演员才能,这要符合他主演的电影的主题。在某些场景中,演
员的角色可以由特技演员或特技演员代替。替身演员的存在对于替换演员在困难和极端的场景中扮演的角色很重要,而这些场景通常在动作电影中都可以找到。
电影也可以用来传达电影制片人的某些信息。一些行业还使用电影来传达和代表其符号和文化。电影制作也是电影中视觉化的人类表达,思想,观念,概念,感觉和情绪的一种形式。电影本身主要是小说,尽管有些电影是基于真实的故事或真实的故事。
也有带有原始和真实图片的纪录片,或者讲述人物故事的传记电影。还有许多其他流行类型的电影,包括动作片,恐怖片,喜剧片,浪漫片,幻想片,惊悚片,戏剧片,科幻片,犯罪片,纪录片等。
那是关于电影或电影的定义的一些信息。该信息来自各种来源和参考。希望它会有用。
MO电视电影❍❍❍
最初的电视节目是实验性的,偶发性的广播,只能在距1930年代开始的广播塔很短的范围内观看。电视转播的赛事,例如1936年的德国夏季奥运会,19340年的英国国王乔治六世加冕典礼,以及大卫·萨诺夫(David Sarnoff)在1939
年美国纽约世博会上的著名介绍,都刺激了媒体的发展,但第二次世界大战使这种媒体增长了。直到战争结束后才停止发展。 19440年世界电影节启发了许多美国人购买他们的第一台电视机,然后在1948年,广受欢迎的广播节目《德士古明星剧
院》(Texaco Star Theatre)采取了行动,成为每周一次的电视综艺节目,使主持人米尔顿·伯雷(Milton Berle)赢得了“电视先生”的称号,并证明了这一点。该媒体是一种稳定,现代的娱乐形式,可以吸引广告商。 1951年9
月4日,美国总统哈里·杜鲁门(Harry Truman)在旧金山举行的日本和约会议上的讲话通过美国电话电报公司(AT&T)的跨大陆电缆和微波无线电中继系统传输到本地市场的广播电台,这是美国首次进行全国直播。
1954年1月1日在美国进行了第一次全国性彩色广播(1954年玫瑰巡回赛)。在随后的十年中,大多数网络广播和几乎所有本地节目都以黑白方式进行。宣布于1965年秋季进行颜色转换,在此期间,所有网络黄金时段节目的一半以上将以彩色广
播。仅仅一年之后,第一个全彩黄金时段就来了。在19402年,白天网络显示中的最后一个保留转换为彩色,从而导致了第一个完全全彩色的网络季节。
❍❍❍格式和流派❍❍❍
另请参阅:流派列表§电影和电视格式和流派
由于可以呈现的格式和种类繁多,因此电视节目比大多数其他形式的媒体更具多样性。表演可以是虚构的(如喜剧和戏剧),也可以是非虚构的(如纪录片,新闻和真人秀)。它可能是话题性的(例如,本地新闻广播和一些为电影制作的电影),也可能是历
史性的(例如,许多纪录片和虚构的MOVIE)。它们可能主要是教学性的或教育性的,或者是情境喜剧和游戏节目中的娱乐性。[需要引证]
戏剧节目通常以一组演员在历史或现代背景下扮演角色为特征。该计划遵循他们的生活和冒险。在1980年代以前,演出(肥皂剧类型的剧集除外)通常保持静止,没有故事情节,并且主要角色和前提变化不大。最后撤消。因此,可以按任何顺序广播情
节。[需要引用]自1980年代以来,许多MOVIE都在情节,角色或两者兼有的过程中进行逐步更改。例如,希尔街布鲁斯(Hill Street Blues)和圣艾尔瑟弗(St. Elsewhere)是美国第一部具有这种戏剧性结构的黄金时段电视电
影[4],[4]在预定的五个赛季中有一个预定的故事。[需要引用]
据报道,2012年,电视在主要媒体公司的收入中所占的份额已经超过了电影。[5]一些人还注意到某些电视节目质量的提高。 2012年,获得奥斯卡奖的电影导演史蒂芬·索德伯格(Steven Soderbergh)谈到人物和叙事的模棱两可和
复杂性时说:“我认为现在电视上已经看到了这些特质,那些想看具有这种特质的故事的人在看电视。
❍❍❍感谢大家的收看和观看❍❍❍
查找您可以在线播放的所有电影,包括本周放映的电影。 如果您想知道在此网站上可以看到什么,那么您应该知道它涵盖的类型包括犯罪,科学,Fi-Fi,动作,浪漫,惊悚,喜剧,戏剧和动漫电影。
非常感谢你。 我们会告诉所有乐于接受我们作为新闻或有关今年电影时间表以及您如何观看自己喜欢的电影的信息的人。 希望我们能成为您寻找最佳电影推荐的最佳合作伙伴。 这些都是我们的,问候!
感谢您收看今天的视频。
希望您喜欢我分享的视频。 如果您喜欢我们分享的内容,请点赞或分享,让我们更加兴奋。
洒上开朗的笑容,让世界回到各种色彩中。
感谢您的光临,希望您喜欢这部电影
祝您有美好的一天并愉快地观看:)*
**~ Watch Free Movies and TV Shows OnlineYou’re in the right place if you’re into love with watching movies.
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See also: List of genres § Film and television formats and genres
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[citvatio””&n needed]
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people who want to see stories that have those kinds of qualities are watching television.
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6 notes · View notes
bitch-in-a-bag · 3 years
Text
can we talk about how the LGBT movement has changed in the past 15 years?
in the light of the events surrounding Chris chan, and people prioritizing pronouns over the rape of a woman with dementia, I think it displays just how... different things are.
i personally feel like it's been co-opted by the more loud and entitled mtfs/ males/penis-havers/whatever pc term exists for the XY chromosome'd, who go too far and aren't reasonably kept in check. I think terf no longer has meaning anymore because it's just become a word we use to silence anyone that disagrees with a trans woman. immediately you're going to call me a terf, I accept that, but please continue reading. I may suprise you. calling someone who's transgender a terf is kinda messed up anyway, and that's exactly why im writing this.
I also think that everyone else (allies, ftms, etc) have followed suit because they've written this messed up narrative that EvErYoNe iS VaLiD. except for trans penis-havers, bc they're the most oppressed and the most valid, actually, regardless of their experiences.
I never used to believe the above because it was always written off as terf shit, and ignoring it kinda benefitted me, but between seeing ftms getting bashed for refusing to follow new "TME" rules as if they aren't trans too, and seeing outrage around Chris chans pronouns, I think it's time to start saying things that may make people uncomfortable. innocent people are already getting hurt by this, and we need to do better. it's time to get uncomfortable.
I want to remind you that perception is both the relying factor, and also the downfall of newer lgbt theory. if my profile were mtf coded, maybe it currently is, you'd call me a self hating trans and I wouldn't be that big of a deal. terfs would probably target me.
if my profile was ftm coded, I would be absolutely skewered for daring to speak out about these issues, even though they do actually affect ftms disproportionately. terfs would try to convince me that being trans is a plague and a mental illness, and to just ~be a cis woman~!
and if assumed cis, I would 100% be assumed radfem terf, and everything I say would immediately be dismissed because of the genuine damage terfs have done. but terfs would still probably flock to this post and berate me for daring to validate trans people At All, because to them, being transgender is a mental illness akin to an eating disorder, and "giving in" to it is "self harm". clearly I don't believe that, so hopefully you'll give me at least some benefit of the doubt.
so, does my identity matter? i have a feeling you'll say yes, because it gives us a good idea of experiences I do and don't have expertise in, and thus room to talk about. but I refuse to directly identify what I actually am because I want the focus of any resulting conversation to be my message and not my self identification. if you read between the lines and figure it out that's just fine, but I would like to be heard first and foremost.
my profile is thus an attempt at being cis female coded, somewhat out of comfort, and that is likely what I'll be assumed to be due to the beliefs I am expressing, even though there is a substantial risk of getting misgendered and dismissed, no matter what my birth sex may actually be. i will give you a hint about my identity: I am transgender, on HRT and everything, and I have been personally affected by all of this. rest assured, this is well within my lane to speak about, and it does matter if you misgender me.
I want you to really think about that. before you respond, really think about if someone saying words on tumblr, talking about their OWN experiences and their take on recent history that applies to themself, really more worthy of being misgendered and harassed than... someone who said they transitioned so they could date lesbians, and then raped their own mother with dementia.
is that fair or just? or is this just a new way of letting people with penises do whatever they want? I personally think it's the latter. we need to hold people like Chris chan accountable without getting caught up on something as minor **in comparison** as misgendering and self identification. Is it sad and confusing that someone who self IDs as transgender became 1:1 with the most dangerous stereotypes that exist for trans women? Of course it is. But it doesn't mean that self identification is suddenly more important than a literal crime being committed.
I would normally dismiss it as a fluke or outright trolling if the evidence weren't so damning that this is in fact a real event that happened. If I hadn't seen this happen to other people, and if I didn't literally know another mtf person who used their dysphoria as an excuse for date rape on multiple occasions and never got any consequences for it.
It's not a one time thing, it's a developing problem that we need to stop before more people have their lives ruined. I can't even imagine how traumatizing and messed up it is for an FTM person to be date raped, by another transgender person no less. When I, an abuse survivor, told people of this MTFs red flags, people violently silenced me. People who didn't know I was trans called me a terf and transphobic. We, as a community, could've protected someone from getting date raped, and we didn't. Trans women can be awful, horrible fucking people, because they are people. Protecting them at all costs is wrong. Protecting them from transphobia is what we should be doing.
That being said, misgendering is still skeevy, and I haven't done anything like raped a disabled woman who is no longer able to consent, or date raped my own partner. if you give a shit about respecting my identity, please use they/them for me. if not, use visual perception and make assumptions that will most likely be incorrect, skew your own argument, and put me on the same level as a rapist, and arguably a fetishist. And I do need to remind you that calling someone transgender a rapist and a fetishist without evidence is still definitely classic transphobia, to the letter, so I'd appreciate it if you didn't do that.
as someone who is same sex attracted, I also want to bring this up as well.
in the US in the past 15 years, the movement as a whole pretty much went "YEAH BORN THIS WAY" with Lady Gaga, and then jumped ship to prioritize mostly mtfs at every angle. do mtfs need support? absolutely. but they don't need misguided toxic positivity, and that's what it's turned into.
it's gotten genuinely homophobic to the point where actually homosexual people are constantly being erased and demonized via "genital preferences are a fetish uwu", and vulva havers, especially the trans ones, are constantly being told to shut up about their experiences.
as much as you want to deny bioessentialism, its still very much well and alive with newer trans movement sentiments when we classify ftms as not worthy of speaking about their own issues with terms like "TME". it's also incredibly ignorant towards FTMs who pass, but dress feminine for comfort, and get mistaken for MTF, and treated like garbage because of it. They are not remotely exempt from misogyny, transphobia, or the intersection of the two, and it is not anyone's job to tell them they don't ever experience that when they do. Turning ftms and biological homosexuals into our enemies-- especially when the actual cause is transphobia and harmful gender stereotypes-- does nothing good or healthy for our movement.
Dont be mistaken, though, passing isn't the focus or end all be all here, it's the perception of others that ends up drastically effecting your experiences. There are words like misogyny that imply treatment via birth sex, however this too can be reliant on external perception. If an MTF individual either transitions very young, has an abundance of resources to transition, or just gets lucky and passes well, chances are she will experience a lot more misogyny than people may give credit to. inversely, someone who just started questioning yesterday, but lived as a male their whole life up until then, they genuinely cannot speak about misogyny with that much room because they simply haven't experienced it at an accurate enough angle or for enough time to understand it as a repeated and sociological force.
It works the other way as well, though; someone who's known that they're trans for a long time and haven't had the resources to transition, or do not or cannot pass in the eyes of society; these people suffer pain that we don't neccesarily have a word for yet, imo. It makes dysphoria worse and it makes living seem hopeless. And as a community, we deal with this is in a really messed up way by over-validating them instead of solving the core issue at hand. and people who suffer from this, but also acknowledge they can't claim what they haven't experienced, are left with nowhere to go.
And its important to acknowledge these things because they're integral to the over-encompassing trans experience. Instead of lying to everyone and telling everyone they pass/giving out unconditional positive regard, our focus should be making it so that it **doesn't matter if you pass**. that you're still worth respect and dignity if you're transgender, no matter what passing is or what it means to you, and no matter how you present. But also, if you do something awful, you still need to be held accountable, especially if you use yourself, your body, or your trans status to contribute to other axi of oppression.
Transphobia is a word that encompasses and addresses all of that, regardless of birth sex. "TME" shuts that down in favor of only letting MTF's speak. Which is still very bio-essentialist, and I can't help but feel like we've gone full circle.
Once upon a time you couldn't even get married if your partner had the same genitals as you. in the US, this was less than 7 years ago. and if you care about human rights activism, you know damn well that legal modification is not the end all be all. people who are genuinely homosexual are still oppressed, but the trans movement has started stepping on them to make ground we don't deserve. homosexuals are ok and valid. it's not a genital preference, and the prescence of trans people doesn't make conversion therapy sentiments ok, ever.
we've gone full circle, and it's not right.
4 notes · View notes
meanandscary · 3 years
Text
8 more days until my husband graduates from bootcamp.
I cannot believe I survived almost 8 weeks without him. Was I alone in it? No. But I need to honestly stop knocking myself of the credit I deserve.
Still remember the card ride we were on when he was complaining about how dead end his job was and how better off we’d be financially if he had joined the Navy.
We were brand new parents. Hit with a fucking pandemic, living in a shit hole and feeling like shit holes. Our daughter was five months old. I had no job and we didn’t know what the next couple months were going to look like. Let alone the next couple YEARS. It was scary, dark and sometimes felt hopeless.
I remember being at home all day with the baby while he worked. Breastfeeding, watching TV, entertaining the baby and waiting for him to come back. Not knowing when things were going to change or how.
“Then why don’t you just do it?” I said. And from that moment we had a plan. I can’t believe everything started from a simple conversation and now we are at the end of the hardest part. Not only that, but we have ANOTHER child on the way.
I seldom take the time to give myself slack or credit or really admire the life I have. The things I do. I’m always concerned with not doing ENOUGH.
My husband left in May and since then I’ve successfully weaned our impossible daughter off breastfeeding. Gotten her on a schedule. Managed to feed, change and entertain her for weeks. I’m growing a human. I’ve moved out of our apartment. Dealt with the emotional turmoil that is pregnancy and being totally cut off from your spouse. I’ve done a lot and honestly I didn’t let it destroy me.
I’ve had some really great times through all of this. Like my daughters first birthday and birthday party. Watching her grow, become more interactive, silly, independent. Going to a carnival for the first time in forever. Going to the lake. Dying my hair. Going to the museum. My anatomy scan of the baby. The tiring walks we take in the mornings before nap time. The desperate nap time car rides. Going to the YMCA for swim time. I’ve done my best to enjoy all the little things. Despite it all. Even the joy of getting a letter from my husband can make my day.
But here we are almost at the fucking end! I’ll finally have a little bit of sanity back. And hopefully some more information about the future.
I’ve really had to push myself so much these past few weeks. In a way I think it was totally healthy for me to have this time alone. SO much has happened the past two years it’s insane. I never got to digest any of it. The thing about having kids is, I don’t think you ever do. Everything is go go go until those really big moments happen where it all kind of hits you. Like when the Princess at her birthday party was “crowning” her an official princess and the fact that I’ve been holding this little girl for over a year hit me. I could remember her very first cry and how it made my heart flutter. That’s when it hits you.
Or when she’s sleeping and I get to just look at her peacefully and remember the sleepless nights on my end when we just brought her home. Nobody lies when they tell you enjoy every moment because it goes so fast. It does! It’s time consuming. It’s hard work. It’s never quiet. I guess on the rare occasion that it is, you can truly soak it in.
Being away from my husband forced me to take risks, do things I didn’t think about doing before, being more organized, on top of things. In control. I mean I think we spent the first 9 months of her life not having a clue how to do anything. She was the boss. There was no order at all and we were both a wreck on the inside and out.
I used to not go to the store alone with my daughter because I was afraid of this, that and the other. I also never took the car seat out by myself or knew how to install it. Didn’t like driving with her alone in the backseat. Was afraid to feed her real food instead of baby food I knew was impossible to choke on. All these fears I overcame! I stopped dreading mornings as much and instead prepping for them mentally.
Also I started to slowly but surely get rid of people from my high school off of social media which I know sounds silly but it gives me anxiety. However when I actually do it I feel so much better and don’t regret it at all. I’m rapidly approaching my mid 20’s and it really is time to let go of the past. I’ve had such a hard time closing chapters and realizing I’m in a new one. Social media makes it THAT much harder but I think it’s even harder to break from it as a whole. It’s just unrealistic since my generation was raised on it. It’s so ingrained in me. It’s much easier to just create a safer space for yourself than force yourself off of something that provides creative expression.
I genuinely enjoy MY OWN content I just get annoyed by others. I’m still healing and processing past events and relationships. But those things were real and deep so I need to be forgiving with myself about it. But I definitely have gotten to points in the past where it’s like all I would think about. Now I’m not allowing myself to have SO MUCH dwell time. I need to live and be present. But also gentle with myself as I dont have THEE most stamina out there. Like seriously. Catch me with dizzy spells all the time.
Another big thing I accomplished was changing my name (again) legally which was A PROCESS! I’m never changing my name again. Seriously it is not worth it. Props to my 21 year old self for doing the most and going knee deep with transition but JFC was it a mess to get out of.
This is such a long post but it’s been a long summer so far.
Anyways. When it comes to genders I’ve time and time again come back to the same conclusion that I’m just fluid. A few months ago I was very turned off my anything feminine and felt more masculine again but when I get into THAT mindset I’m very one track mind. Blinders on.
The reality is I’m capable of feeling feminine and being happy in it. Like currently I’m VERY femme vibes and I’m comfortable with it. I’ve found a happy medium. Will I ever grow my hair rapunzel long again and flaunt around like I’m a cottage core princess? No. That’s just not me. Ironically enough I love that aesthetic I just know it isn’t ME. I’m way more rough around the edges. And that’s okay. I’m learning to stop trying and to just BE.
I’m excited to see how my marriage will feel after coming back together. We weren’t in a super strong place a few months ago. I always knew we have a solid foundation but there’s always so much to work on. Most of it comes from the inside of either of us. There was so much lack of being people. I think most new parents go through that but nobody wants to talk about that.
The first year of parenting is supposed to be some magical quirky shit show that everyone has a good wholesome laugh about. When in reality it’s just a flaming messy shit HOLE that you laugh about otherwise you will cry about it. But you end up crying regardless.
Anyways. The bottom line is. I’m ready to fucking move on. Move OUT. And go forward. This is just a little mile marker for me to say “you did it! you got through those dreaded 8 weeks!”
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troutfishinginmusic · 3 years
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The story of Grass Records: From Brainiac to Wind-Up and Creed
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                                                              Images via Grass of ’96 compilation 
Everything isn’t available in the streaming era. There are notable gaps in the seemingly bottomless amount of music currently available. Some of the most noticeable exclusions are albums released on Grass Records.
If you’re a fan of ’90s indie music, this short-lived New York label mattered. Though sometimes dismissed as a sibling label to Homestead Records, Grass released over 60 full-length albums ranging from pop to punk to noise to experimental music. It raised the profile of influential bands like Brainiac, Toadies and the Wrens. 
The amazing thing about the label is how consistent it is. Every time I thought I was done with this article, I would listen to a band like Baboon and be completely blown away. These are all fascinating, idiosyncratic bands. This is more incredible considering the label was only around for about four years.
Much of this music is hard to find. The odd song might be lingering on YouTube, but you’re almost better off looking at your local record store or ordering from Discogs.
Why are the albums in this weird limbo? Mostly because the monied interest who bought the label in 1996 thought it wasn’t yielding a big enough return on the investment. Grass was gutted and rebranded into post-grunge/nu metal giant Wind-Up. Money poured in and these wonderfully weird records were swept to the side.
The following interviews were conducted via email, Facebook messenger and phone over the last few months. Quotes from the interviews have been edited for style/clarity. I’m eternally grateful to everyone who got back to me. I am also willing to expand this story if more former Grass artists want to reach out. If you’re one of these artists, my email is at the bottom of this story.
Seedlings
“I started in the music business purely by chance,” said Camille Sciara, who founded Grass Records.
Sciara got her start working at Record World in New York as a second job and became friendly with the store’s buyer. After attending a manager training program, she moved on to become a manager of the store. Her second job became her first.
“Then, after two years there, I became bored managing a record store and my friend Mike, the buyer, told me about Dutch East India,” Sciara said. “I started there as a salesperson and, after a year of sales, became the buyer when that position opened up. I never envisioned starting a label.”
While working as a buyer at Dutch East India Trading a friend sent her a Toadies cassette. She “loved it” and started Grass in 1993 to release it.
Grass released the Toadies EP Pleather soon after, which contained an early version of the band’s inescapable alternative hit “Possum Kingdom.” After Pleather, the band scored a major label deal with Interscope. The platinum-selling Rubberneck arrived in 1994.
“They did really well on their first major release,” Sciara said in an email interview. “But then it appeared that Interscope just dropped the ball or lost interest. They were such a great band live, I never understood how they weren't huge stars. And super cool people.”
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Tall grass
Sciara would go on to sign unique and influential bands like Brainiac and The Wrens.
“Since I had never run a label before, I was going purely on how much I liked what they submitted,” Sciara said. “Obviously not the best business model for running a label, but for the money we offered it worked to some respect. The longer I ran the label, the more I understood what was needed from them [the bands] regarding can they tour etc.”
There were few bands of the 90s that radiated weirdo energy as brightly and brilliantly as Brainiac. The documentary Transmissions from Zero chronicles the significant impact the band had on the music scene at the time. It also shows a band on the brink of mainstream success. Brainiac released two albums on Grass, Smack Bunny Baby and Bonsai Superstar, before departing for Touch & Go. The band’s forward motion was sadly cut short by Tim Taylor’s death in 1997. Prior to this, Interscope was expressing interest in the band.
“If Tim hadn't passed I'm pretty sure they'd have been the biggest [band on the label],” Sciara said.
Original Brainiac guitarist Michelle Bodine said Grass’ association with Dutch East India made the label initially attractive.
“[Camille] was super excited about us and we had total creative freedom,” Bodine said. “We also liked the 2-record deal with the option of 3 contract.”
After leaving Brainiac, Bodine would go on to play guitar and sing in O-Matic. The band released its lone album Dog Years in 1996. The album is one of the overlooked gems of the ’90s.
The Wrens’ influence reverberated in more subtle ways. The band’s first two albums, Silver (1994) and Secaucus (1996), provided a blueprint for much of the post-Pixies landscape of ’90s indie rock. They could’ve been much bigger, but still made a significant impression.
“The depth of realization in this record is unparalleled: every angle is perfected,” Pitchfork founder Ryan Schreiber said about Secaucus. The band’s third long awaited album, Meadowlands, dropped in 2001 and received a “Best New Music” tag from the same publication.
Rumblings of a follow-up to Meadowlands have been thrown around for the last 10 years, but a record has yet to materialize.
The level of talent the label had was staggering. A few groups Sciara thought would be bigger ranged from the Irish dream-pop band Chimera to Georgia punk band Sunbrain. “There's more, it would be long list,” Sciara said.
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New shoots
Baltimore
Baltimore punk band Liquor Bike had released one album before signing a two-record deal with Grass. The band’s first release on the label was Neon Hoop Ride in 1993. Liquor Bike was excited to be on the label because of the Homestead Records connection.
“We loved being on Grass, we toured like crazy,” singer/guitarist David Koslowski said. “We had great booking with Creature Booking.”
Between the booking agency, which had done work with Nirvana, Helmet, the Lunachicks and Jesus Lizard; and the new label things were looking up for the band. The band would have posters up in whatever towns they were playing in and mentions in the local paper. The label would keep them up to date if they had to do things like impromptu radio interviews. When they got off the road, they entered the studio to record The Beauty of Falling Apart. During this time Alan Meltzer, who bought the label from Sciara in 1996, entered the picture.
“At the onset we were pretty psyched because this guy’s got major label distribution,” Koslowski said.
It also helped that Sciara stayed on after the transition.
“We could still work with Camille, who we love,” Koslowski said. “We slept at Camille’s house when we would play up in New York. She’s an amazingly nice, sweet person and very giving.”
Koslowski said the band was given significantly more to record the follow-up based on buzz the band was getting at the time. J Robbins, of Jawbox and Burning Airlines fame, did the cover art and Drew Mazurek produced the album. The band even hired John Lay, who had previously worked with Squeeze, to manage the band.
“By that point we were having decent guarantees,” Koslowski said. “Those two years when I was on Grass I barely worked a real job. I wasn’t making a rockstar living or anything, but I was certainly able to pay my rent and utilities.”
Liquor Bike went on tour with Gas Huffer to promote the forthcoming record. On the tour Koslowski noticed there weren’t posters out and the band didn’t receive write-ups in the local press. To make matters worse, they never received CDs of The Beauty of Falling Apart to sell at shows. Koslowski said Grass had promised this.
“We were pretty confused," Koslowski said. “I mean our record had been mastered already, everything had been sent to the factory.”
Lay soon informed the band Sciara had been fired and the band had been dropped. Koslowski said the band decided to stay on the tour even after being kicked off the label. The band had old records and T-shirts to sell. They had put a lot of work into the tour and didn’t want to waste it.
Liquor Bike eventually released its third album on Merkin after failed meetings with Amphetamine Reptile, Columbia and Interscope. It was the band’s last before the members went their separate ways.
Seade was another band on on Grass that was unfortunately overlooked. Their lone album (Perf) is an underrated ’90s classic.
Prior to Meltzer, Koslowski said that he didn’t think there was any favoritism toward any one band despite the label being so prolific.
“I just think the woman loved music and wanted to spread that out to people,” Koslowski said of Sciara. “I think she legitimately wanted to help people, you know, help these bands out. She was nothing but giving.”
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Omaha
Mousetrap, an Omaha-based punk band, hoped to initially get a deal with Homestead when it sent in two 7” singles.
“Camille really liked our singles and got in touch with us.” Patrick Buchanan, Mousetrap’s singer/guitarist said in an email interview. “We developed a great relationship with her, and eventually she offered to sign us — we were given the opportunity to sign either with Homestead OR with Grass, which was a brand-new label at the time.”
Buchanan said the band thought it would possibly get overlooked in Homestead’s large stable of well-established bands and decided to sign with Grass.  He also said Sciara made a large difference.
“Camille was one of the coolest people we had ever met in ‘the business’ – she just seemed really genuine, straightforward and honest,” he said. “Those are the types of people we wanted to work with. So our relationship with Camille was probably the main thing that made us sign with Grass.”
Mousetrap would go on to release three albums on the label, starting with Cerebral Revolver in 1993. The band was a big influence on Commander Venus, an Omaha band featuring a young Connor Oberst.
“They were definitely a big deal in Omaha and everybody loved them,” Oberst said of Mousetrap in an episode of the Turned Out a Punk podcast earlier this year.
Commander Venus came in contact with Grass through Mousetrap. The band signed to the label when Oberst was only 14. The band also featured Rob Nansel, who would go on to co-found Saddle Creek Records. Oberst said the band recorded its first album, Do You Feel At Home, in 1995.
“That was a good experience and a learning experience,” Oberst said. “I also think it kind of made it more apparent that even if you do get an opportunity like that, you know, you’re a little fish in a big pond. And maybe people aren’t going to work as hard or care about it.”
He said that this was mitigated by having the support system of a local scene in Omaha. The band ended up releasing its 1995 debut on Lumberjack, which later became Saddle Creek. The band released one more album, The Uneventful Vacation, before Oberst formed Bright Eyes.
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Promoting growth
Alan Meltzer came into the picture with a retail background. He had previously owned Titus Oaks Records in Long Island. He went on to found CD One Stop in 1985, which was purchased by Alliance in 1993. Meltzer became Alliance’s president during this time but left the company in 1995. Meltzer acquired Grass in 1995 from Dutch East India Trading (the label’s owner/distributor), finalizing major label distribution through BMG in 1996.
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“When I heard the Grass repertoire, I almost fell down,” Meltzer said in a 1996 Billboard Magazine article. “I heard so much good material.”
“Alan was shopping around looking to purchase an established label with an extensive catalog that he could pour endless money into,” Sciara said. “He originally wanted Homestead Records. A great label owned by Dutch East as well. But once he saw the contracts and issues with some of the ‘grey’ areas in them, he then moved on to Grass.”
Meltzer did have some legitimate interest in the label as an artistic venture.
“He absolutely was obsessed with the Wrens once he heard them and Commander Venus,” Sciara said. “He was sure with all his resources, money and big ass staff he could make them huge stars. He failed. Not the bands’ fault.”
Grass would have the name (and credibility) of an indie, but the corporate reach of a major. Meltzer looked at the new situation as the best of both worlds.
“We’re not a major label, but we’re not an undercapitalized, disorganized independent that’s out there on a wing and prayer,” Meltzer said. “We’re somewhere in the middle. We’re staffed, we have the organization, and we’ve got the know-how. I opted for major distribution because the majors are better at it.”
Grass kept Sciara on as a VP of A&R (artists and repertoire) and expanded Grass’ workforce to 20 in-house employees, according to the Billboard article. The label’s future looked bright. Bodine left Brainiac and formed O-Matic (also signed to Grass) when the change happened.
“…It seemed better – they had a nice office in Manhattan with an open stairwell area and glass walls,” Bodine said. “It was very modern and cool. The budget was much bigger. They hired more people and we felt like we had a good support system.”
“When we went there it felt like money,” Koslowski said.
Koslowski only met Meltzer once at a Grass Christmas party.
“He was a typical New York money guy when I met him,” Koslowski said. “I didn’t get a good vibe. He didn’t have that indie spirit that Camille had unfortunately.”
The meeting didn’t go well.
“I remember drinking a bit and messing with him,” Koslowski said. “I said ‘hey Alan I wanted to see if I could run this by you. You know that new Liquor Bike record we’re working on? We got the artwork but we just wanted to run the title by you and make sure it’s cool. We want to call it Eat My Fuck Asshole.’”
Meltzer and his wife were horrified, according to Koslowski.
Yellowing, patchy
In an oral history with Stereogum, Wrens bassist and singer Kevin Whelan said the band was picking up steam.
“So Secaucus came out and it started to do somewhat well and “Surprise Honeycomb” was starting to get recognized and played on different shows, and we thought that international fame was around the corner,” Whelan said.
And then the call came in.
“He [Meltzer] said, ‘Well, boys, I’m not going to give you any more money. If you don’t sign with me today, it’s over.’ So, I remember, we sat in the van, we looked at the empty gas tank and we were like, ‘Well, I guess we’re not signing, let’s get the credit cards out and see how we can get home.’”
According to the Wrens’ website bio, Meltzer wasn’t pleased.
“[Meltzer], infuriated, commences layoffs of involved record company personnel and vows that ‘the next band to walk through that door will be made famous – at any cost,’” the bio states. “The next band through the door is Creed. Grass Records becomes Wind-Up Records. Creed becomes famous at any cost.”
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By the time of the Wind-Up transition, Moustrap had already fulfilled its contract when it released its third album The Dead Air Sound System.
“At that time, Mousetrap was not very active,” Buchanan said. “I think we had become rather disheartened by how much time and love we put into the band, while getting very little recognition on any type of national level. At that point we were physically and mentally exhausted by constant touring and recording, with very little in the way of tangible success to show for it. So we didn’t really have any relationship with the label by the time it became Wind-Up.”
When the label wasn’t as successful as Meltzer thought, he brought in Steve Lerner. This was effectively the end of Grass Records.
“I was let go along with 8 to 10 others when Meltzer brought in Steve Lerner to run the company,” Sciara said. “The new staff felt Grass was too much related to me so hence a name change.”
“With Lerner serving as his right-hand man, the duo transformed Wind-up into a $100 million-plus sales operation with multi-platinum acts like Evanescence and Creed,” a 2007 Billboard article said.
Death, new high-yield crops
Grass was rebranded as Wind-Up, a key player in the nu metal and post-grunge universe, in 1997. Many of the Grass bands were dropped to make room for the likes of Finger Eleven, Creed and Evanescence. Meltzer, who ran the label with his wife at the time Diana, finally found his cash machine.
“I was extremely happy because, although Creed was a mega-seller and saved his label, I wanted nothing to do with that and the direction the label was taking,” Sciara said. “Not knocking it. You need artists like that to sustain a label that had an enormous payroll and nice offices. I totally get it, it’s a business. But I was happy running a small label with smaller contacts and cooler bands that didn't have to compromise their sound to write a ‘hit.’ That’s what he was always looking for.”
The transition to Wind-Up in 1997 did have some overlap with former Grass artists. The second Commander Venus album was released by Wind-Up and Thick (with a later release on Saddle Creek). Pollen, a rough-edged pop-punk act that had released two albums on Grass, dropped Peach Tree on Wind-Up. Baboon’s sophomore album Secret Robot Control was also released in 1997 on the new label.
Slowpoke’s Virgin Stripes, the final vestige of Grass Records, was a co-release with DGC in 1998. The album didn’t break the band, but it’s not a stretch to imagine it could have (especially since it boasted a song as infectious as “Belladonna”). The album retains some of band’s outsider noisy energy, but delivers it in a package palatable enough for the post-grunge crowd. Past this point, Wind-Up focused mostly on its new sound.
Koslowski didn’t initially know Wind-Up was the successor to Grass. One day someone mentioned to him that he was labelmates with Creed.
“I was like ‘wow, OK I guess he got his hit,’” Koslowski said.  
Meltzer died in 2011 at 67. He made headlines by leaving $1 to his chauffeur and $500,000 to his doorman. Bodine saw this as frustrating because of how he left things with other Grass bands.
“He owed lots of bands money so it’s just really fucked up that he didn’t pay them/us. Liquor Bike did get theirs before he died only because they were persistent,” said Bodine.
In 2013 Wind-Up was purchased by Bicycle Music Company with distribution by Concord Music Group. In 2015 the two companies merged to form Concord Bicycle Music. Craft Recordings manages the label’s reissues.
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Rare strain
Aside from Brainiac and The Wrens, many of the bands on the label aren’t on streaming platforms. The physical releases on Grass are mostly out of print. A sea of fantastic experimental indie music remains in this gray area. This doesn’t seem to be changing.
“Unfortunately, I haven’t a clue about if there are plans of Wind-Up re-releasing any back catalog,” Sciara said. “It’s sad really. Holding peoples’ artistic work hostage or just ignoring it seems cruel. Hopefully Wind-Up did the right thing and gave them back their masters, rights etc. Or at least license it to someone else to release.”
The three Mousetrap albums are stuck in this place.
“I wish more people had the chance to hear our music, so yeah I wish it was easily available,” said Buchanan. “Sure, we wanted to be popular — but the most important thing for us was that we made the music we wanted to make. We always did things our way — for ourselves, with no regrets. So even if the albums are harder to get, we’ll always have the memories — and those who were there to witness it will, too.”
Liquor Bike’s lawyer was able to secure the master tapes and artwork for The Beauty of Falling Apart with no questions asked. The band also has the master tapes for Neon Hoop Ride.  
“Crazily enough, Grass did not make us buy Beauty of Falling Apart from them,” Koslowski said. “I have heard from some of my fellow Grass artists that they wanted to charge an incredible amount of money.”
Neon Hoop Ride was remastered and briefly available on streaming services. The album was only available digitally and did not get a physical rerelease.
Greener pastures
Following her departure from Grass, Sciara started Ten23 (Oct. 23, 1996 was the day she was fired from Grass). The label released The Wren’s EP 1135 before folding.
“It seemed like a great idea,” she said. “Didn't put out anything else after that release. It was an expensive endeavor starting a label from scratch, so to speak, and at the time I was unemployed.”
From there she went on to work at the Knitting Factory label group and eventually Narnack Records. She uprooted from N.Y. to move to L.A. to work at the latter. She eventually ended up back in N.Y. where she was a manager at Petland Discounts for 12 years until it closed in 2019.
Buchanan has gone on to release music as Vicious Lovers. Mousetrap has plans to release new music for the first time in 20 years according to Buchanan. Some of Mousetrap’s music can be streamed here:
Michelle Bodine went on to play guitar in Shesus, which was signed to Narnack. The band released an album and an EP before splitting up. Bodine has since been participating in Brainiac reunion shows and was featured in the Brainiac documentary Transmissions from Zero.
David Koslowski went on to play in the post-rock band Vivid Low Sky and the power-pop band Gerty. He currently owns a coffee shop/record store in Baltimore called Baby’s on Fire.
“I loved every aspect of being on Grass, except for the very end,” Koslowski said. “I also loved how diverse Camille had the label. A lot of friends from that time from those bands, I’m still friends with them. It was like a really cool little group of people that all got to share in something for as brief of a time period as it was.”
If you have questions, information or concerns I can be reached at [email protected].
CORRECTION: A previous version of this article spelled David’s last name as Kozlowski. It’s actually Koslowski. Also, J. Robbins just did the cover art for the band’s third album. Drew Mazurek actually produced it. Godplow is a great band but they’re from Minneapolis, not Baltimore.
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myinnersoul1412 · 3 years
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My personal comment on the Ossan Love HK remake
Please don't flame if you don't agree. The review is based on my take of the original Japanese Ossan Love 2018 after rewatching it over 10 times lol... Spoilers below
Story:7.5/10
Even though the number of episodes are doubled, the interactions among the main leads remain mostly the same and the emotional climax of certain scenes are lost
( A Tian/Haruta here doesn't even show a single expression of jealousy after finding out Darren/Takegawa is A Muk/Maki ex boyfriend and it 1-2 eps between this revelation and the backhug so I'm like...???)
Due to the episode count advantage, the HK version spends more time explaining the mentality before and after the breakup. Some ppl say the Japanese version was too sudden, though even in my first watch I didn't feel it was sudden at all : it was subtle but indeed there and expressed throughout Kento great acting... Though some overlooked or didn't see that at all😑
Due to the addition of too many subplots for the side couples ( chef and the maika san, Choko and Maro, Chief and wife, Chizu and Haruta ), the plots felt diluted as I'm not really interested in their stores, but I heard the plot for these couples are not bad
The emotional entanglement with Chizu here is quite bad and..unfinished.. Like in one episode before, Haruta was trying to kiss Chizu and then the next episode, the backhug happened and the dating phase began.
There were quite a lot of fanservice and lovely dovey since, which I think a lot of ppl, especially younger ones would like, but for my personal taste I find it too cheesy ( taking Polaroid photos together, couple bracelets, feeding each other etc...)
The HK version completely omitted the part where Haruta tried his best to cook glutinous inedible porridge for Maki when Maki got sick, but in the HK version, A Tian was on a business trip with KK( the chief in HK ver)
The later episode 13 and 14 leave some time for the viewers to digest the emotions so it's not bad
Due to the episode number advantage, there's more time to express each emotion phase as compared to the Japanese version ( which was done n conveyed skillfully by the actors acting, but could get overlooked cause the events in the last episode happened in a whirlwind and especially if the viewer actually paying attention to little expression changes and the mood.
So the Hk version would actually fit those whom went "wtf why" at the breakup scene, who would prefer a more obvious transition of emotions.
The pacing for the episodes after the break up, explaining the living together situation with the chief is quite good, although A muk is quite indecisive here so it's also slightly more frustrating. But overall from the breakup onwards, the plot gets quite good and not as rushed as the original version (damn Tv asashi why u cut down 2 eps of the original series)
Acting/Cast: 7/10
A Tian/ Haruta :this role makes me realize how good an actor Tanaka Kei is... He made Haruta to be so confused and insensitive but at the same time so lovable. But for the HK version, I do feel the need to punch him sometimes. I guess the acting is not delicate enough, but I won't say much since the number of years difference in acting experience is too big anyway. But generally, A Tian made me want to punch him quite a few times
A Muk/ Maki actor is quite good looking though he looks quite stiff, without much expression for the first 10 eps. He got better later on though. Tbh, the HK version of Maki is quite... bland. Maki in the jp version is this bitchy and yet adorable young man, that can be super cool when it comes to work. He also generally has a sad atmosphere due to his 'unrequited' feeling, but only at the appropriate timings when it matters. But for A Muk, he's just generally sad most of the time.I guess it's due to the changes in script and role interpretation.
But really, from the first ep up until ep 10, I barely feel any affection that A Tian has for A Muk so when A Muk proposed that they dated, it felt a bit confusing and out of no where. In the Japanese version however, I could always feel that Maki was special to Haruta in some way, and that romantic affection was triggered by Tagekawa - Maki handholding and Maki attempting to leave series of events. In the remake, the emotional flow n climax of this mini arc was just gone...
In the remake however, they made up for more lovely dovey scenes between A Tian and A Muk during their dates,so I guess it's a good thing (though the fact that they're suddenly so lovely dovey, getting matching bracelets, feeding each other all of sudden don't make much sense to me when A Tian is still a bit hazy about their relationship but I take that as the dynamics of this duo as a couple, n ofc some fanservice )
But honestly in the HK remake, I can't feel A Tian/Haruta affection for A Muk/ Maki at all so this love story feels totally one sided from A Muk up until the breakup point.I have read some comments saying that why is A Tian even crying and I see where they came from
( and hence I deem those statements saying that Haruta/Maki having less chemistry than A Tian! A Muk as invalid to me. Everyone is free to have their opinions ofc, but Haruta affection for Maki in the original series was palpable in the mood even if there were not any tangible specific events.)
Music:7/10
The chemistry in the HK version only starts to pick up after the breakup event ironically, but because of the feeling /psychology transition was done not so good due to script and difference in acting ability, I don't feel as invested emotionally but I do still wish A Muk all the best because he's been suffering too much in the HK version
In the HK, I can't feel the raw emotions as in the original version but it's not bad too
They use piano songs during emotional moments but the same song is being used throughout all the emotional moments makes it a bit err... The piano sounds are even a bit too digital for my taste but that's just me. The general vibe of the osts are the same as the original 2018 series, but there are no climax/ orchestra pieces so in terms of ost, the original definitely did a much better job.
However the opening song for the HK version is quite nice and fitting for the vibe of the two leads
Re-watch value
Maybe I'll re-watch again after I can detach myself from the original 2018 series...
Again these are all my personal opinions and I tried to phrase it as respectfully as possible.
Overall :7/10, overall better than I expected
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