#I do! it's just that the pressure of uni classes and 'you really need to learn this language very well if you ever want to get a job' has
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pretty
Summary: Your good friend Harry Styles might just be the hottest, most gentleman-liest guy you‘ve ever laid eyes on, so it really is a shame that you‘re not his type. featuring lotsss of pining, insecurities on both sides and a hefty crying sesh (it‘s all a bit pathetic and cheesy really😭)
Pairing: uni-student!y/n + uni-student!harry
Word Count: 6.2k
—
“You’re beautiful, y’know that?”
He was impossibly close, nose mere inches away from hers, and held this expression that could easily make her cry if only she looked at it long enough. Y/N couldn’t handle the pressure of the moment, his intense eyes on hers. It was something out of a romance movie.
And she was left so speechless that all she could say to him was: “uh, t-thanks. Thanks. You too.” It wasn‘t like she disagreed with him, but the sheer intensity, the closeness with which he delivered his compliment made her weak at the knees.
He smiled at her like he’d known she would cower away and brushed some stray hairs away from her eyes. “James doesn’t deserve you. You know that, right?”
In full transparency, Y/N had forgotten all about James. She’d forgotten the reason for her tears the moment Harry had shown up at her flat to give her that long hug she’d been needing.
The only reason James had stumbled into her life at all was Harry anyway. Call it a distraction, a means to numb the jealousy she felt whenever she saw Harry out with another girl.
“I get it, though. I should’ve known he’d be that way, people warned me before going out with him. That he only takes out cheerleaders. Should’ve known he did it for a laugh.”
Harry was similar to James in that regard— he had a type and everyone knew it. Y/N didn’t fall under his category of ‘girls to date’. She often wondered why she always went for guys who would never even look in her direction— a bit of self hatred, maybe. A will to punish herself.
“Hey, stop that. You’re beautiful. Don’t find excuses for his behavior.”
“I’m not, I just… I should’ve seen it coming, is all.”
“No, what we’re not going to do is blame ourselves for other people’s mistakes. James fucked up. He did. And that’s it. You move on, you come back stronger and show him he didn’t leave even a tiny scratch.”
“You’re right. Of course.”
He smiled, “do you feel better?”
“A bit,” Y/N nodded with a sturdy exhale, “thanks for being there for me always. I really appreciate it.”
“What are best friend for, ey?”
It never felt less unnerving to hear those words coming out of his mouth. And really, she knew that realistically they were nothing more, but sometimes, especially late at night when no one was around and all of her uni stress had been shoved into a closet for the day, Y/N let herself believe it was real. That he liked her back. She needed to get a grip and open her eyes to the cold harsh truth; that a friend was all she would ever be in his eyes.
She swallowed a lump in her throat and averted her eyes towards her interlinked fingers. “Yeah.”
“You okay?”
Y/N had long mastered the art of feigning a smile, so it came easily for her to flash her teeth at Harry in this moment.
“Course. Let’s make some dinner, I’m hungry.”
—
“Hey, it’s Y/N right?”
Y/N had seen this girl around before. She remembered because every time she would pass by on campus, Y/N had to admire her beauty; how her makeup always seemed effortless and her clothes complimented her perfect figure in just the right way, how her hair was always in a wave that Y/N could never perfectly recreate and her walk never droopy or tired, perfected by an angelic touch.
Y/N didn’t know this girl, but she’d always wanted to be like her.
“Yeah, hi.” Despite the inherent intimidation, Y/N smiled at her, “can I help you?”
Y/N felt ugly standing in front of her. She’d had to rush out of bed this morning for her analysis class, forgotten mascara and her staple lip balm. She looked monstrously unwell.
“My name’s Iris, I was wondering… god, this is a bit embarrassing, but you’re good friends with Harry, right?”
Y/N saw where this was going off of the jump. It happened way too often for her not to.
And her heart broke just a little more then, because so far, it’d been random girls she knew stood no chance with Harry. But Iris was just perfectly crafted for him, cookie cutter pretty and impressively confident. She had everything Y/N was still hastily working on.
“Uh, yeah.”
“I was wondering if you could give him my number? I saw him at the party last night and we chatted for a bit, but I forgot to write it down for him.”
Y/N had been at that party too, she just didn’t see that. Harry had barely even left her side. Must’ve been when she‘d gone to the bathroom.
“Oh, sure.”
“Great! Thank you so much.”
Iris handed her a little post it with her digits written along with a lovely note about having had a fun time.
Y/N walked to her 8am analysis class with a crucial feeling of hatred for the world and everything in it bubbling in her chest.
—
“Hi, babe.” Harry pressed a kiss to Y/N’s cheek like it was normal before finding his reserved seat next to her, surprising both her and their friends. If Kacy was all too shocked, though, she didn‘t show it, simply widening her grin in response to Harry‘s presence. “Hi, guys.”
“You finally showed up!” Kacy exclaimed, drawing the attention on him with her loud voice. Harry was so busy that he could be hard to track down, which made him an easy target for the occasional jab. In all fairness, he’d seen Y/N almost every day, just not his other friends— and in full honesty, that was enough for him.
“Yeah, sorry, finals week.”
“Y/N found the time,” Sebastian chimed in, tone laced with a tinge of earnestness, although Y/N and Harry could tell he was only teasing.
Harry retorted fairly quickly, “cause she has no other social life.”
At Harry’s words Y/N turned her head at him, mouth dropping open in genuine offense. She couldn’t do anything other than laugh, but really she should’ve hit him for saying that. “So you’re a whore and a backstabber!”
Harry cackled, that beautiful laugh escaping his mouth and blessing her ears, pulling her into his side and hugging around her frame. “I’m only joking!”
“Whatever. I’m not speaking to you the rest of the night.”
“Sure. You try that and we’ll see how that works out for you, babe.”
Everyone but them saw what their future could look like if they both stopped being stubborn and admitted their feelings for one another. Even sitting here, Kacy could see the way Y/N’s lips molded into a smile at Harry’s touch and the way he beamed whenever she played into his antics. Their bond was effortless in the way many couples wished theirs to be— it looked so easy for them to mesh together. Their friends knew they could be happy together and it frustrated them to see no progress being done.
By the end of the night, Y/N and Harry were blubbering drunk messes leaving the bar together. Y/N had taken it upon herself to call the uber back to his for the night.
“God, that was sooo fun,” Harry slurred out, “shame they’re closing soon.”
“You should come more often, we do this every week!”
Both Y/N and Harry were all smiles, looking at each other with excitement radiating from their bodies. It’d been long since they really let go.
“I’m so happy you’re here with me, you know that?”
Her heart rate plummeted.
Sometimes Harry said things drunk that wouldn’t pass as ‘normal’ when sober. He was close, grinning at her like a puppy in love and spoke with such confidence that Y/N was sure he couldn’t have not meant it.
“I’m happy you’re here, too, H.”
“No, like seriously though. You’re the best person I know.”
Heat rushed to Y/N’s cheeks. He was really testing her waters here.
“Oi, shut it. What do you want from me? Why’re you buttering me up?”
Harry shrugged, “nothin’. You really are. Just accept the compliment.”
“Fine,” Y/N smiled in a bashful manner, “thank you.”
“You’re very welcome.”
Y/N stared at her boots, grinning to herself. Comfortable silence went on for a few short minutes, just the sound of the wind wafting by and quiet, calm breathing. Occasionally a car they looked up to to check it wasn’t their ride.
It was such a nice atmosphere.
Y/N was sure nothing could ruin this night for her. She was so happy, so careless in the way uni had long prohibited her from being. She wanted to exist in her little snug bubble forever, a place to hide from the real world with the person she admired most. She‘d sacrifice anything if she could keep this feeling for a bit longer.
And then, as if god disagreed with Y/N‘s pursuit of happiness, a needle set out to burst her bubble.
That needle was Harry, and outside of the bubble, it was cold.
“Can I kiss you?”
The ground beneath her shattered at his words.
Was he… serious?
Because this was her dream. If he‘d been serious, then her dreams came true in exactly the worst way.
Y/N had wanted a kiss from Harry since they became friends all those years ago, but not like this. Not drunk. Not on some stupid impulse. Not when they would wake up and realize it had been a mistake in a few hours. If she’d been willing to risk their relationship because of one shortlived kiss, she would’ve done it a long time ago.
He couldn’t do this to her! He couldn’t do this because to her, this wasn’t just fun. It wasn’t a cute little memory to look back on. Oh remember when we got drunk and kissed? Wasn’t that so funny? No, to her this was more. It was her whole livelihood, the cruxes which her heart depended on.
So although it hurt more than anything she’d ever had to do, Y/N shook her head. Her head barely moved, like her brain was plotting against it as well as her heart, but it did shake just enough to give him an inkling.
“Don’t think that’s a good idea.”
He was quiet for a few seconds (although she could feel his eyes burning a hole into her) before eventually retorting with a weakened, “why not?”.
“You’re drunk.���
“Been wanting to for a long time, Y/N.”
“Harry,” she stressed, voice quivering. Her next words came out in a whisper, “shut up.”
This time, he surrendered.
They waited for their uber in complete silence and when it came for them to sleep, Harry chose to stay on the couch instead of sharing the bed with her. Although Y/N was excruciatingly tired, she couldn’t for the life of her close her eyes.
She’d fucked up so badly.
—
Y/N felt slightly out of place as she slid into Harry’s kitchen in the morning. She looked at him already sat at the breakfast table with an array of pastries waiting for her.
“Hey.”
Harry nodded, “hi, help yourself. Went to the bakery on my run.”
“Thanks,” she murmured quietly, almost to herself. She was too scared to look at him.
“I don’t want it to be awkward between us, so I’ll just cut to the chase: I’m sorry about last night. I know I was drunk and weird and it won’t happen again. You were right.”
Y/N’s eyebrows shot up just slightly, the sheer surprise evident on her features. He was really bringing it up now!
“… right about…?”
“Bout it not being a good idea. I’ve never… I was really out of it, you know? Wouldn’t have asked you otherwise.”
Wow. Yes, obviously it would’ve been a mistake, Y/N knew that more than anyone. But his apology did more damage than good. It was like a knife was being pushed through her chest, agonizingly slow as to make it more painful. Harry had confirmed exactly how uninterested he was in trying anything more with her and it just about devastated her. And yes, in all fairness, it was unjust because she’d been the one to reject him last night but a tiny sliver of hope that he would reach out his arms and say ‘I still feel the same, I still want to kiss you!’ still possessed her delusional mind all night.
“Oh, that. Yeah.”
Harry tried to catch her eyes, “so are we cool?”
“We’re cool.”
Y/N was barely floating now. She didn’t want to eat, didn’t want to be here, didn’t want to exist.
It hurt too much to exist sometimes.
“Y/N?”
She snapped out of it. “Hm? yeah?”
“You okay?”
“Yes, I’m fine. You just reminded me of this girl I met yesterday, Iris,“ her shaking hand slid into her pocket to find the little note she‘d kept stored and handed it to him without making eye contact. Her body was on fire.
“Oh.”
“She wanted me to give you her number, said something about a party where you lot met.”
Y/N watched as realization dawned on him, probably a fleeting memory of Iris now soberly imprinted on his mind. She could imagine all the ways in which he thought about somebody like Iris, somebody who would be so perfect for him.
“Right. Thank you.”
“No problem. I should probably head out to mine and get a few uni things done before I get too lazy.”
Unprompted, Harry ignored her statement. She had a feeling he didn’t even want to hear her. “I didn’t want to text her. Completely forgot about her, actually.”
Y/N couldn’t find the answer as to why.
“Oh.”
“Yeah, I didn’t… I don’t really like her like that.”
“Really? Iris was under the impression that… I mean, maybe she’s mistaken, but she told me about your little hangout sesh and it seemed nice, you know?” Harry’s eyes held something a little different— confusion, curiosity and a bit of sadness. It drove Y/N crazy deciphering him. “And Iris seems exactly like the type of girl you’d like.”
Then his eyebrows drew together, “what’s that supposed to mean?”
Y/N shrugged, body sinking and slowly becoming one with the chair, “just… pretty, is all.”
“A lot of girls are pretty, Y/N, doesn’t mean I automatically wanna date them when I talk to them once.”
“Yeah, but… Iris is your kind of pretty. She’s confident and I’m sure she’s funny.”
“My kind of pretty? What are you implying?”
“Nothing! Jesus, Harry, I just think Iris would be a good fit for you. She’s your type, is all.”
Harry scoffed like he took offense to Y/N’s reply, “and I’m sure you know exactly what my type is, huh? Cause I’m so surface level that I’m only into the same girl, yeah? What, blonde and tall?”
“Harry, that’s not—“
“Then what do you mean to say by that?”
“I just—“
“You’re boxing me together with that dickhead James!”
“No, Harry, I’m not— and if you would just listen to me, you’d understand that!” Y/N finally broke, raising her voice by a few notches so Harry would hear her over his loud accusations. “I’m not implying to you, by thinking you might be into her, that you’re surface level. I’m just saying, Iris seems like she would be your type because in the past, you’ve gone for girls like her. That isn’t bad, okay? I’m not criticizing, just pointing out. You’re into pretty girls.”
“Prettiness is subjective, Y/N, and what you’re doing right now is putting me in a box. What does that even mean, pretty girls? Clearly you’re implying I only date girls that are conventionally attractive because that’s my definition of pretty.”
“So what if it is? I didn’t say it’s anything bad,” Y/N leaned back in the chair, volume lowering as if she couldn’t argue with that statement. “Everybody’s allowed a type.”
“It’s just… you’re using the word type in a derogatory way.”
“How the fuck am I using the word type in a derogatory way?”
“Sounds like you’re saying I’m some dickhead who only goes off of looks. Only goes for tall blonde girls cause they’re tall blonde girls and not because they’re nice people.”
“When did I say that?!” Y/N was bewildered by this. She hadn’t meant anything bad by it! “I have a type too, you know that! And that’s okay!”
“Oh yeah fucking tell me about your type, Y/N, go on.”
“What is your problem?”
“My problem is that you were just crying about James only dating cheerleaders a week ago and now you’re here putting the same thing on me!” Y/N breathed out in distress, finding less ways of deescalating the situation. “Be honest, then, what do you really think of me?”
“What are you even… I love you, H, I’m your best friend, I would never dream of insulting you. I was just saying that you seem to have a type, which there is nothing with!”
“So then what does pretty mean?”
“Just… pretty, okay? Don’t read too much into it.”
“No, I want to hear it. Describe pretty to me.” The word pretty had been spoken out so many times in such vain, that its meaning had became trivial at best.
“I don’t know, H, Girls like Jess, Angelina, Diana, Elle… which, if you were to write out their characteristics; they’re all blonde, tall, skinny girls. I’m not saying that you go off of looks, but I do think you have preferences, and that’s fine. That’s healthy, even.”
Then he scoffed again, but significantly quieter this time around. “Right, you brought the fucking receipts to the table, didn’t you? Do you usually think so lowly of me everywhere you go?”
It hurt to have this distance between her and Harry. They’d always gotten along so well before, so why did this have to become what it had? It had all come out of nowhere and Y/N didn’t have the strength or the energy to lose the one thing she constantly depended on to be okay.
“I don’t… Harry, I don’t think lowly of you. I just thought that you might like Iris.”
“I’m sure you did then.”
“Harry,” she sighed, “please, I didn’t want you to get the wrong idea.”
“I didn’t, got it perfectly clear. So one question though, am I allowed to like brunettes? Or is that too daring?”
“Harry, stop. Why are you being such a dickhead?”
“I’m being a dickhead?”
“Yes, you are.”
“At least I have history with girls for you to come to that conclusion yourself, right? Maybe when you find the courage to actually talk to a guy I’ll be able to find out what your kind of pretty is.”
And it wasn’t meant to be a jab, surely, at least not a terribly painful one, but it hit Y/N stronger than she would have liked. Who was he, making fun of her dating life? This wasn’t the Harry who reassured her after every pathetic bad date, who convinced her that it would be okay if she didn’t find her man straight away as long as she was happy. She’d loved Harry for a year now and there was something so liberating in exploring unknown territory, in partaking in the so called ‘chase’ (maybe somewhat masochistic, liking the torment of the unknown) but that feeling came to a full stop now that it had become clear that Harry didn’t love her back. Before, it had been speculation— now, it was real. And although she’d expected pain, this was cold blooded torture.
Harry didn’t look regretful, but that was because he had no idea what his words actually meant for her. Sometimes she wondered how the people she loved most could hurt her so much as to kick her down to the floor and repeatedly stomp on her body.
Without a word, Y/N stiffened her shoulders in an attempt to seem stronger and stood up from the table with a low intake of breath.
“Y/N.”
“Fuck you, Harry,” she muttered quietly but defiantly as she slipped on her shoes and opened the door out.
She didn’t have anywhere to go, but she knew anywhere else would suffice better than here.
—
Y/N wasn’t even surprised when she saw Harry and Iris arriving at the party together with the biggest smiles on their faces. Kacy turned to her and widened her eyes, motioning to the couple by the door with a questioning stare. Y/N simply shrugged.
She’d been hurting by herself, cramped away in her flat with a bottle of wine and three boxes of tissues and hoping for a little break when Kacy had asked her out tonight— but here he was, ready to ruin her minute of relief.
“She gave him her number through me last week… guess he finally called her.” Y/N explained, lowering her voice. “We haven’t talked since that morning after the bar.”
Kacy’s eyes widened again, because the last time Y/N had spent so much time away from Harry had been Christmas— and even then, they’d called each other every day.
“Why?”
Y/N simply shook her head, unwilling to elaborate. All Kacy could do was pull her into a tight hug and ask her what she wanted to do next.
“I just…” Y/N’s breaths shook, “I’m so tired, Kace.”
And although Y/N had never brought up the topic of Harry, Kacy knew exactly what she was referring to and her heart broke for her friend.
“Let’s go to one of the bedrooms.”
Y/N gave a stuffy nod and followed as Kacy lead the way upstairs.
Once they’d sat down, Y/N began to open her mouth. Her arms hugged around her own frame and tears were building in her eyes.
“Talk to me, Y/N. What happened?”
“He… I don’t know, Kace, he just got so mad at me. I was giving him Iris’ number and he said that he didn’t like her. I told him he should probably call her because I think she’d be good for him— I think I said ‘she’s your type’ or something like that, which is a normal thing to say! And then he went ballistic on me.” Y/N sniffed her nose, “I was just trying to be nice. He started accusing me of finding him surface level even though I implied no such thing.“
“Oh, honey,” it was through Kacy’s pitiful expression that Y/N noticed the ugly tears cascading down her swollen cheeks. “I don’t wanna make you feel worse, babe, but that doesn’t sound like Harry. Maybe you worded something wrong? Or he just heard you wrong?”
“No, I tried multiple times to clear it up, but he kept the attitude.”
“What did he say?”
“Well, I said that he likes pretty girls and he said what do you mean pretty girls? and so I described what I thought his type was, which is tall blondes, you know? And I even said that having preferences is healthy and that I don’t mind but he thought I was boxing him in. But don’t you agree? Isn’t that his type?” Kacy took too long to answer, making Y/N grow insecure, “Come on, he only dates tall blondes!”
“That’s not even true, Y/N. What about Vanessa?”
She rolled her eyes, “fine, one tall redhead.”
“It’s not that, it’s just… I think he was offended because he thought you were calling him some kind of jerk who only goes off of looks.”
“But he’s… he’s great, Kace, really, and I love him, but he does always date attractive supermodel type girls. I mean, good for him, but you know? And I don’t at all think I’m ugly, I think I’m pretty, but not his kind of pretty.”
“Okay, but… okay, what were you talking about before the whole Iris thing?”
“It’s a long story,” Y/N groaned, head falling into her hands, “when we were drunk he asked me if he could kiss me. I said no.”
“What?! Why would you say no?”
“Because we were drunk! And then the next morning he said I was right, that it would’ve been a mistake and we would’ve regretted it.”
Kacy’s mouth was kind of wide open, “and then you brought up Iris?”
“Yes, because I needed a change of topic.”
“But right after that he said he didn’t like Iris.”
“Yes.”
“And then you accused him of being surface level and he got mad?”
“Kacy, I literally didn’t! I—“ Y/N stopped defending herself because she knew she couldn’t cheat her way out of it. “Yes, maybe, okay? So what?”
“So he totally loves you.”
At that point Y/N started laughing— a genuine laugh made its way out of her mouth and she started shaking her head. Her laugh simmered down to a little chuckle and then she got tears in her eyes again. A rollercoaster of emotions.
“Right, sure. Hope you stretched before you took that reach! He said right before that he’d never have asked if he was sober.”
“He was saving face because you refused to kiss him.”
“Kacy, no,” she sighed, “don’t feed me that bullshit. You’re going to give me hope and I can’t take any more of that, okay?”
“He got mad you think he only likes blondes because he loves you and you don’t even see it,” Kacy elaborated even further, which bothered Y/N on so many levels. She’d told her to stop.
“I can’t, Kace,” Y/N cried, covering her eyes with her palms and letting the tears flow out, “I’m so fucking tired of feeling unwanted and like I’m not enough. Like whatever I do, there’s still some other girl who gets his attention. I can’t go on loving him and being his second girl every day. He goes on bad sex dates and comes home to me, goes to parties where he does body shots off of other girls, and then cuddles me in bed. I just can’t do it. One day he’ll get married and expect me to be his best man and that’s way more than I can take.”
“Look, I understand, but all you need to do is talk to him.”
“I can’t!”
“Why not?”
“I don’t want to lose him.”
“Isn’t it better to lose him now than to feel like this every day and lose him in a few years when you’ve physically broken yourself down over it? Isn’t it better to know? I know you won’t lose him because I see the way he looks at you and I see how he treats you. And he’d be stupid not to like you back. But if I‘m wrong, wouldn‘t it still be better to know?“
“No. I can do without knowing. If he knows and he doesn’t feel the same it’ll be weird and I can’t lose him. I can’t, Kace, he’s the only thing holding me together. Look at me, I’m such a fucking mess.”
“Y/N, eyes up,” Kacy ordered, taking ahold of Y/N’s forearm and forcing her to look at her, “you’re allowed little moments of weakness. Love does crazy things sometimes. You need to tell him or you’ll regret it the rest of your life.”
Y/N’s eyes stung hard.
The door opened in that moment, forcing the sound of the music into the otherwise quiet room with a force. Both girls looked up to find Harry by the door, his eyebrows drew together in concern at the sight of his teary eyed best friend. It didn’t matter what they were going through, their bond was strong enough for him to know something was seriously wrong.
“Are you okay?”
It was then that Kacy took her cue to leave, to Y/N’s dismay, and stood up from the chair to let Harry take her place. She closed the door behind her to give the two of them privacy.
“Y/N, you okay?”
“Yeah,” she tried to smile, though due to the tears it was clear as day that she was perpetually telling him lies whenever he asked her that question. “I’m okay.”
“Hey, come on,” he whispered into the quiet, inching closer to trap her chin between his fingers, “tell me what’s wrong. Did some asshole hurt you?”
“Yeah,” she nodded with a small sniffle. The asshole is you. “I’m just… having boy trouble. It’s okay. You should go back to the party.”
“Fuck the party. Who hurt you? I hope you mean your feelings, not physically…” He’d started raking over her body to check for bruises, a tick in his jaw.
“No! God, no, just my feelings. And I’ll get over it.” I couldn’t ever get over you. “Isn’t Iris waiting for you? I saw you arrive together.”
“Oh,” his features hardened for a split second. Y/N blinked and it was gone. “No, we ran into each other outside and talked for a bit. She asked me out, so… I think I’m going to go.”
It was like he was testing her, staring into her eyes to capture the exact moment she crumbled. But she didn’t. She held her head high and gave a subtle nod. “Sounds good.”
He sighed. It was quiet and could almost be classified as a simple exhale, but she knew it wasn’t.
“So who’s the guy?”
Sometimes he could be so oblivious that Y/N wondered how he’d made it so far in life. Surely he was only playing the part, right?
“Doesn’t matter,” Y/N shrugged. She was starting to cry again. “He’s insignificant.” You could never be insignificant to me.
“Should I talk to him?”
Yeah, that would be good. “No, no, it’s fine. I’ll just… get over him.”
“Well I don’t like seeing you hurt, baby,” he tilted his head, cupping over her jaw and brushing over her skin delicately. The room was dimly lit to make it all the more romantic, but Y/N couldn’t fully be immersed in it. “No guy is worth your tears. You’re beautiful and brave and so so funny. I’m so lucky to have you in my life, Y/N. You’re the most perfect girl there ever was and if he can’t see that, then he doesn’t deserve you.”
He couldn’t do this to her. He couldn’t speak of her the way she always wished he would speak of her, but not mean it. It showed her what he was capable of— loving her, paying her attention the right way. She was left shattered.
“See, you say that, but you…” Y/N broke down in tears, “but nobody ever means it.”
He tilted her head up so he could stare deeply into her eyes and utter his next words in full honesty, “I mean it. I promise you, Y/N, I mean what I said with everything I have in my body. I mean it every time I say it when I’m drunk and I mean it when I’m sober. I mean it when you’ve just woken up and I mean it when we’re studying together at night. I mean it and I will always mean it.”
Instead of making her happy, his words made her cry even more.
“Harry,” she cried, bending her neck forward so the top of her head rested on his chin, “it hurts so much.”
“Come on, baby, it’s not worth it.” Then he started kissing the crown of her head, moving down to her temple and rubbing circles into her shoulders. “It’s not worth it.”
But he was worth it. He clouded her vision and made her feel lightheaded. He had the power to make her cry and the power to make her so unbelievably happy that she couldn’t imagine having ever been unhappy. He made her wonder how she could’ve lived such a mediocre, painful life before he entered it— that was the kind of power he possessed.
Y/N didn’t have to think twice about kissing him, she just did. She looked up at Harry and inched closer to rest her lips on his, and it caused emotions in her body she didn’t even know were possible. Harry seemed surprised but he caught on fairly quickly, letting her take the lead in the kiss until it’d been a few seconds and he felt her deepening it.
He pulled away, eyes finally opening.
She was startled. “Sorry, did I hurt you?”
He shook his head gently, letting a reassuring smile sit on his lips, “no, but I’m worried about you. I don’t think it’s a good idea to do this when you’re crying over another guy, you know? I don’t want to be your numbing medication.”
“You’re… not,” her eyebrows drew together.
“You didn’t want to kiss me last week. It’s seeming like an ‘I miss another guy so I’ll hook up with you to numb the pain’ situation and I just… I don’t want either of us to regret it.”
He was trying to be nice— and he was, really was, but the sinking feeling in Y/N’s stomach worsened.
“That’s because we were drunk last week.”
“You’re hurting over another person, Y/N.”
“He’s not important, I just want to kiss you. I want to have sex with you. Okay? Because I want to, not because I’m into some other dickhead.”
Harry seemed to have trouble believing her, “I can’t.”
“Okay, whatever. It’s fine.” Y/N stood up from her chair, creating some distance between her and Harry and started walking away from him. He held onto her hand though, preventing her from moving too far.
“Y/N, come on.”
“No, genuinely, I don’t want to coerce you into having sex with me, I don’t know what I was thinking.”
She was being honest. She didn’t want Harry to feel like she was using him under false pretenses.
But having him think that was still better than confessing.
“I didn’t think you were coercing me into doing anything, Y/N, I just don’t want you to regret it.”
“Yeah,” tears built in her eyes again and she bit her lip to hold them in, “you’re a really good guy, Harry.”
When he stood up to offer her comfort, she immediately took a step back and held her hand in front of her in an effort to force him away. “Please don’t.”
“Y/N…” He looked pained and thoroughly confused at her cold behavior. Harry knew she tended to close off whenever she felt bad about herself, but that had applied mostly to other people. Harry, on the other hand, had always been successful in finding a way to pull back her in.
“No, I’m embarrassed. Jesus, I’m such a mess! I was talking about this with Kacy, I‘m just… I‘m all over the place.”
“You’re not a mess. You’re hurting, that’s normal.”
“I just asked you to fuck me, that’s… who the fuck does that? Since when am I like this?”
“Since you’ve been hurt,” he countered, “love makes you do weird things. God knows I get a bit crazy too when I’m in love.”
“No you don’t,” she said to him, voice hoarse and uncomfortable, “you’re fucking Mr. Perfect. Everyone loves you and you’re hot and you’ve got the brilliant mind. You can’t do anything wrong.”
“Everyone doesn’t love me,” he replied with a leveled tone, “if everyone loved me, I’d be with the girl of my dreams right now. But I’m not, so… not everyone.”
“Can’t fucking imagine that,” Y/N muttered, wiping under her eyes. “You probably just communicate badly and she doesn’t know you love her.”
“Same with you.”
Y/N’s heart squeezed painfully in her chest.
“He’s way out of my league.”
“Who is this guy anyway? You’re gonna hype him up to me and not even let me know who it is?”
“He’s, uh…” Y/N walked further away from him and sat down at the edge of the bed, covering her face with her hands, “he’s from uni. Tall, dark brown hair, green eyes, sometimes glasses. He’s really nice but dates girls who are the complete opposite of me—you know, really model type girls. And I just… whenever I look in the mirror, I’m reminded of just how unattractive I am compared to them— and don’t get me wrong, I’m fine with me but they’re just better. I can’t keep up with it. And god, I feel so pathetic talking about myself like this but he’s just… he‘s so perfect and I love him and I don’t want to lose him. He makes me doubt myself sometimes, you know?“
At the latest he must’ve known now. Y/N could hear his brain professing that information, double and triple checking all possibilities until it dawned on him that she was talking about him.
He cleared his throat, stepping closer. “So he’s… where do you know him from again?”
A short pause before committing to the method, “we met at the fresher’s party three years ago.”
“And you see each other a lot, I assume.”
Y/N was still not looking at him, head buried in her hands.
“We… yeah. We hang out every day. He’s mad at me right now though.”
“So you… you love me.”
She didn’t answer, but she didn’t need to. She’d given up, left it all to fate; if he would turn her away and never talk to her again or ask to continue being friends. It all became obsolete.
“I’m sorry,” she muffled into the palms of her hands.
“D’you wanna hear about the girl I’m in love with? Have been in love with for a year now?” Y/N wanted to shake her head, but she didn’t, so he continued. “She’s from uni too, spends about three nights a week at my flat even though hers is bigger. She can be really distant, but when she gives you attention it’s like the whole world healed. She’s so sweet and considerate and brings me little gifts sometimes and even though she’s damn near perfect, she gets really insecure about things, especially when it comes to her looks and stupid dicks.” Y/N had started looking up at his words, spotting Harry closer to her but not sharing any of her own emotions. He was taking the piss, wasn‘t he? “Locks herself away in her room until she feels ready to leave the flat. She’s selfless, gives me other girls’ numbers even though she’s in love with me— even makes me go on dates even though I’m sure it hurts her feelings whenever I do.”
“You love me?” she sniffled, “I’m not joking about this.”
“I love you, Y/N. I do. S’why I got so mad last week, wanted you to realize that I’m more than some shallow asshole. Didn’t know you felt the same, though.”
“How could you not? I literally get so weird around you these days.”
“Thought it was just stress or something,” he cupped her cheek, thumbing away some tears, “I’m sorry you cried about me, should’ve just said it like a normal person. Just didn’t want to ruin us.”
“Me neither.”
“I’m going to kiss you, okay?”
This kiss was a thousand times better than the last one. Y/N felt giddy as his lips ghosted over hers, as he pulled her up from her seat and sat back down to have her climb over his lap. She breathed into his mouth, ground against his crotch like she was a horny 16 year old girl being touched for the first time. There was no heavy feeling weighing down on her chest, she could just be free of concerns.
After a few minutes of making out, Y/N laughed. She damn near cackled into his mouth and when he questioned her with a confused stare and a cute laugh of his own, she shook her head.
“Remind me to thank Kacy later.”
—
disclaimer: this is NOT meant to offend anyone based on their looks— it‘s just a depiction of a girl feeling insecure because she thinks the guy she loves doesn’t see her the way she wants him to. The description i used of his ‘type’ and the inevitable perception of what Y/N looks like in this story was completely random and is completely up to you. I hope it doesn’t come across as anything other than that!
#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles angst#harry styles x you#harry styles fanfic#harry styles fan fiction#harry styles fic#harry styles one shot#harry styles
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How to construct character psychology!
– Introduction
Hello hello! :D I’ve been very slow with my writing lately due to uni work (and some unforeseen health issues), but I’d like to still be able to make content and be interactive in the writing community, so I’m here again to share some advice based on my own experiences! One of my favourite things about writing is writing characters, specifically constructing a character’s psychology. I’d like to preface this post by saying that while I’ve had formal classes in psychology, I’m by no means any sort of expert within the field, and I also don’t believe that every aspect of how a character is written needs to be rooted in realism. However, I do want to share some insights that I got from it, and also because I feel like “character psychology” has this very mystified weight to it that makes it seem a lot bigger and intimidating than it needs to be.
So! My goal is just to share some advice on how to break down a character’s psychology and work from there! If you like what you read and would like to read more, I’ve also written a post about creating “complex” characters, which you can find the link to here! Aaand yes I think that’s about all I have to say beforehand, I hope you enjoy :,)
What do I mean when I say psychology?
Before getting into the nitty-gritty, I’d like to start with the basics, just to make sure people are on the same page when reading this post. When I’m talking about psychology here, I’m specifically referring to a character’s cognition, as in how they process information and act on it/make judgments. I’m not necessarily referring to personality in this case (although personality is an aspect of psychology, but I’m more so referring to personality as a consequence of cognition here, rather than as a collage of traits and behaviour).
Another thing I want to clarify is that exactly how much of human behaviour is nurture vs nature is a hotly debated topic that I’m completely under-qualified to take a stance on, but for the sake of this post; I believe both are equally essential aspects of human behaviour, so just keep that in mind! (I’m looking at any behaviourists in the chat rn). That being said; I’m not really comfortable treating psychology as “nature” (as such rhetorics are often used in gender-essentialist and other bigoted ways of thinking), so my main focus will be nurture, since that’s what is most readily observable!
Determining character motivation
If you’re working with very little or bare minimum characterization, my recommendation is to consider; what motivates a person to act? And by this, I’m not referring to the external quest or goal behind the character, but rather, what’s the core of what motivates your character to act at all? Even in grand, epic adventures of good vs evil, where the external goal is as simple as “putting an end to whatever evil the bad guys are doing”, there needs to be a reason a character is specifically on the side that they’re on. Multiple characters can be on the same side, but they might find themselves on that side for vastly different reasons, even when their exterior goals are the same. From there, you’ll want to consider what informs this motivation in particular.
One technique I love to employ, when still figuring out my character, is to have them make some sort of bizarre decision, a decision I’d initially think to be improbable for this particular character, and then try to list off various justifications or variables that would allow for this character to make this particular decision. There’s a couple of reasons for why I do this.
1) It removes some of the pressure to have a perfectly cohesive, perfectly put together and neatly defined character from the get-go. The drafting process isn’t just for plot and story structure’s sake, it’s also there for you to experiment with characters! Having your characters make story altering decisions that possibly challenge or contradict themselves is a great way to make sure that you’re writing active characters as opposed to more passive ones, and I think the first couple of drafts should really be a playground for you to see just how far you can stretch your characters based on their characterisation.
2) It helps me clarify what is and isn’t important in my character’s decision making. I’m a firm believer that most decisions/actions aren’t inherently in or out of character; it just depends on whether or not the readers/viewers can understand the character’s thought process behind their decision, and this ultimately comes down to how well you, as the writer, conveys the character’s priorities when they make decisions. If you’re established that a character acts based on a code of honour, an exterior source to morality and conduct, then the justifications and reasonings they would use to justify murder would likely be very different than a character who acts based on their own convictions. This is also a great way to show character development; by showing how a character’s decisions gradually change as their cognition change as they develop.
3) It allows me to explore nuance and make note of potential contradictions within the character’s way of thinking—which is often the most interesting aspects of a character’s psychology, at least in what I enjoy to write and read. Most real people don’t have perfectly cohesive morals, and most people can’t always act congruently with their morals either, so allow for your characters to make some bizarre decisions! See how far you can stretch their cognition! These decisions don’t have to be canon to the story, but it’s a good way to actually solidify what line of thinking your character makes when faced with difficult and potentially morally indicative choices.
Work your way backwards!
If you already have the overall traits and behavior of your character pinned down, you can always work your way backwards! As a pantser, this is a very common occurrence for me. I have a character with a clear goal and defined characteristics, but they’re completely uninformed so far, as I usually discover the cause of their motivation and characteristics as I write the story. As such, most of my characters don’t have any sort of backstory established until I’m much further into the process, as I discover it as I go along. So here’s some things I look out for in my character writing when creating a backstory after I’ve already established a character.
1) What are some things the character is often drawn towards? Humans are typically very habitual, a lot of us enjoy some sense of familiarity (to varying degrees depending on the person), and taking note of what your character tends to gravitate towards can be a great stepping stone to fleshing out backstory. An example could be a somewhat cold, stoic character who’s incredibly picky with their relationships due to trust issues (pretty common characterization) has a tendency to let their guard down more when around elderly people. Why is that? Maybe they were raised by very old parents, or even grandparents. Maybe it’s a cultural thing to treat elderly with more respect. Maybe it’s a religious thing. Maybe it’s because elderly people have treated them with more kindness in the past, etc. Note that this can be flipped too! Maybe this character feels uneasy around people closer to their own age, or even people who are younger than them.
2) How does your character socialize? The way a character approached social settings can often be very indicative of how they were raised, as that tends to affect how people form attachments (according to attachment theory in psychoanalysis, at least). Are they very sociable? If so, why? Is it because they’re accustomed to being around a lot of people? Maybe they had a very large family, or maybe they had a family that took part in a very active social sphere. Maybe this character just comes off as sociable because they understand the value of social connections. Why’s that? Maybe their family have a political influence, or maybe they have a business they want to sell, etc. Or maybe it’s the complete opposite; maybe this character grew up with little to no family at all, and that’s why they want to make friends and connections. If so, then maybe that affects how they make decisions, leaving them incredibly loyal and somewhat co-dependent. Even the smallest character traits and behaviours can be expanded upon to inform you of how that character was possibly raised, it’s really just about digging into said behaviour!
3) How receptive are they to new experiences or other people’s perspective? This is also somewhat linked to attachment theory, but it doesn’t have to be approached that way! The reason I bring this point up is because I find that a character’s receptiveness is often a good way to gauge their relationship with their parent. For example, a character with very strict, traditionalist parents might adopt that outlook on life because it offers them a sense of stability and security. They weren’t raised to be adaptable or to adjust themselves to new experiences, and thus have a difficult time accepting things outside of their established paradigm. This would suggest that this character likely didn’t rebel much to their parents’ outlooks on things (or if they tried, they failed), since they adopted said outlook for themselves. Another way to write this character (with the same premise) is to have them react in the opposite way; maybe they are super open and receptive because the rigidness of their parents prevented them from ever experiencing anything. Maybe the status quo bored them, or maybe they see their parents as narrow minded. This characterisation suggests that there’s possibly more tension (not necessarily in a negative way) between the character and their parents.
Interplay between morals & behaviour
A character’s morals and behaviour don’t always have to align. Like I mentioned in an earlier point, humans hold a lot of contradictions, and how people cope with those contradictions can vary. However, how do you determine if a contradiction is purposeful rather than a case of out-of-character writing?
Let’s say you have a character who views all animals as sacred, and this is something they were raised with. Suddenly, this character is thrust into a situation in a different world/kingdom/region/etc. where eating animal meat is the only viable food option to survive. They decide to do it, despite their morals directly conflicting with this behaviour.
One way this character might justify this is by thinking “well, my intentions matter most, and my intention was never to hurt animals, so while I feel bad for killing an animal for food, my intentions of doing so respectfully makes this action more acceptable to me.”
But another character in the exact same situation might not be satisfied with such logic. Maybe they see intentions as irrelevant, and only care about the consequences of their actions. If it’s been established beforehand that a character is consequentialist, then this action, paired with the justification above, would feel incredibly out of character, because the logic behind the justification is not intuitive to the reader.
Whether a contradiction feels purposeful or out-of-character ultimately boils down to what information and how much of it you’ve given to the readers, so that they have the information necessary to break down the interplay between the character’s morals and behaviour.
Using other tools (cognitive functions, socionics, enneagram, etc.)
As I’ve mentioned before on this blog, I’m very interested in various types of typology (mbti probably being the most popular and well known one), and while I consider all forms of typology to fall under pseudo psychology, I often use these tools to help me better understand my own characters better! I personally gravitate towards cognitive functions (which is not the same system as mbti, even though it uses the same letter system) as they help me put into words my character’s cognition, and enneagram, which describes behaviour and motivations that arise from a person’s upbringing and coping mechanisms. There’s other things you can take into consideration as well, like socionics, temperaments, attitudinal psyche, etc!
I’m not suggesting you use these as replacements for developing characters, but they can be great supplements when trying to dig deeper into your character’s psychology! I’d also argue that you get more out of putting these systems into use if you learn about typology and analyse your characters yourself instead of taking a test for them, but I’m also very biased in this regard, since I enjoy analysing my characters myself :,) And there are times where I’ll take a few tests to help solidify my breakdown if I’m having a difficult time labelling my character correctly. Honestly, just have fun with it!!
– Outro
Sorry for yet another lengthy post! And sorry it was a bit later than I’d anticipated, I had a much busier weekend than I thought I’d have, so I kept having to squeeze writing in anytime I had enough spare time to sit down, and then I stumbled across a series of health complications that I’m still trying to sort out. Which, speaking of, thank you so much to everyone who’s been wishing me good luck! I’m still working on figuring out what’s wrong, but I’m making progress!
As usual, my asks and messages are always open, so feel free to shoot me a message about anything! Even if I may be slower with my replies ^^; Thank you for reading! <3
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What dorm leaders may do when stressed
Uni's kicking me and hopefully won't for the next week haha (may you all be blessed with less work soon)
Riddle
I feel like he would be under pressure 24/7 he thinks it's weird when he doesn't feel any :/ (it's giving toxic)
Academics never really stressed him out while at NRC but if there was something it would be his duties as dorm leader. He loves his job sure, but it comes with its own set of work. Add Ace, Deuce, Grim to the list of things he has to keep an eye out for and he really starts to feel tired haha
He will likely have more caffeine than usual, opting for tea over coffee. He also tends to sleep less, saying that while it's better to sleep more, he needs to get things done.
He's a bit more agitated, you can tell he's stressed by seeing the number of students he's had to behead go up. You may also spot Trey talking to him more, maybe sneaking him a sweet treat to help him push through exam week or so haha
If he has an s/o, he wouldn't want them to worry about him so he'll just try his best to hide it. However, if his s/o were to give him something nice during stressful times, he will be extremely grateful (expect him to give them something in return)
Leona
He tries to stop work before it gets stressful and he's surprisingly good at it. Either he gets work done beforehand (very rare) or he just doesn't do it at all (extremely likely).
He gets stressed about other things than academics since he's already pretty good at most subjects. I feel like what stresses him out would be familial things, or at least ones pertaining to his brother and whatnot.
When he's stressed he tends to be a little bit more on edge, a little more snarky. But overall, he'll be sleeping more and less likely to actually fight someone. If a random student is bothering him for example, he'll usually hit the lightly on the shoulder and tell them to stop. In times of stress, he tends to just walk away and hope the student doesn't follow him (doesn't have the energy to bother)
If he has an s/o, he's more clingy. It's a little surprising coming from someone who usually tries to convince his s/o to leave him alone, but when he's stressed he wants more attention. Definitely pulled his s/o to a nap more than once
Azul
He's like Riddle, he thinks it's weird when he's not under pressure and will constantly look for ways to get himself stressed :/
He gains most of his stress from his physical appearance, mainly because of his childhood. However, he also gets stressed from wanting to maintain a perfect image. He wants to get good at every class, wants to be a good businessman for the school lounge, etc.
He's a coffee addict, but this will only grow when he's stressed out. Will he consume more than four cups of coffee? Yes. Is he ok? No. He also is a bit more snappy when he's stressed, but you won't see him lash out or snap, more like a snarky comment here and there. Jade and Floyd will likely not mess around with him when he's stressed since they can't get a usually-flustered Azul out of him.
If he has an s/o, he will also be super clingy. It's not that surprising since he loves attention, but his s/o might have trouble studying themselves having to take care of Azul. The two of them should probably set up study dates instead if he wants to be around them 24/7.
Kalim
Probably has the healthiest work-life balance ever. He is rarely stressed out and if anything probably causes more stress to Jamil haha
He gets stressed out when he's dealing with a lot of exams (like most students) but he also gets stressed when he has a crush but has no idea how to approach it. So, he gets stressed out in more emotional, intimate things
You will likely never see this man stressed out, but if you do, you won't really notice it. He's surprisingly good at hiding how much pressure he's going through, but if you look closely you'll see that he's a bit jumpier than usual. He also has a bigger appetite, so expect frequent visits to Sam's shop for some snacks
If he has an s/o, he's also super clingy and wants them to take care of him. If the two of them are in the same class that he's stressed about, then the two of them definitely have all-nighters together. If he has a crush on someone, he will almost avoid them like the plague since he wants to approach them at the right time but has no idea if he can actually find a right timing
Vil
Constantly under pressure but never shows it. He has lived under immense pressure since he was a little kid, so he also thinks having no pressure at all is a little weird (though he wants a good break)
It's his career that stresses him out the most, more than his work at school. Sure, there are times students at Pomefiore put him off, but he's always stressed out about maintaining the perfect image whenever he has to go for a modeling event or when he's trying out for a new role for an upcoming film.
This man will be extremely cold when he's stressed out. He's more ruthless as a dorm leader when he's stressed, likely pointing out mishaps from students here and there without mincing his words. He also tends to distance himself from others since he knows he's not that good with words when he's stressed out and he also doesn't want to use more energy talking to people
If he has an s/o, he will likely distance himself from them for a little bit. He loves them yes, but he doesn't want them to know he's going through a lot and would rather have them not worry about him. If his s/o gives him something nice though, he'll be super grateful about it
Idia
He's not always stressed out but he does get stressed from time to time. He doesn't like taking exams, but the thing that stresses him out the most is having to be around a lot of people for a long time (think school events)
During Halloween he's probably a bit more on edge than usual. Either way, he gets stressed when he wants to make new friends or show that he's not a scary or weird person but he doesn't know if he's doing well conversing with others. To him, he'd rather talk to people online than go through having to make eye-contact or having to meet someone physically
He's just detached when he's stressed, will drink more energy drinks than usual too. He barely sleeps, but he'll pull more all-nighters than usual. Idia also doesn't want his younger brother knowing he's stressed out so he tries to distance himself for a little while. He doesn't have the energy to talk to people that much so he spends more time just on his bed and trying to relax when he can
If he has an s/o, he might distance himself from them but end up getting clingy. He won't downright pull his s/o to a nap like Leona but he will want them to just spend some time with him playing video games to de-stress. He might not tell them at first, but once he and his s/o get closer, then he'll likely just text them at 3am if they want to come over to play some games
Malleus
This man almost seems too perfect because he's just so good at every class, is quite charismatic, and just seems to have his life together. But that's not always the case!
He gets stressed from time to time if homework piles up but he gets more stressed out when he worries someone he cares about doesn't care about him back the same amount that he does. This usually goes the most with an s/o if he has one
When he is stressed out, he tends to distance himself from people similar to some of the other dorm leaders. However, he isn't really harsh with words, he just spends more time alone. He does, however, get angry more easily. Either lightning flashes outside when he gets pushed a little too hard or he just gives whatever is bothering him a mean glare like >:( for a good two minutes before Lilia's like "yo r u good"
If he has an s/o, he's super clingy without knowing it. He may want them to do more study dates at first. He'll sit across from them in the library but as time goes on he's somehow sitting right next to them, one arm around them, and like really close. Having a chill time with someone he cares about reaffirms that he does have people that care for him and it also helps him de-stress a lot.
#twst#twst imagines#twisted wonderland#twst scenarios#twst headcanons#twst x reader#twst dorm leaders#twst riddle#twst leona#twst azul#twst kalim#twst vil#twst idia#twst malleus
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Everything I've done right in 2024 to transition from Uni Girl aesthetic to corporate baddie
Background info- as an immigrant & on scholarship, you have to maintain a certain image that I call the (struggling college kid) aka don't find reason to take away my scholarship because I seem too boujee) which is this system between the area I live in, the way I dress , the amount of money I can have in my bank account, etc. It's an art, like tax evading lol. BUTTTT I grad this year so I no longer feel the need to keep up with all that and step one is leveling up to fit into the circles I'm about to dominate, and these are the steps I'm taking so far.
Quitting my medium wage job. Just to make it clear, I really liked that job. The amount of vision boarding, manifesting, praying, people pleasing i did just to get it- and it's really really great, it is. I've built networks from it and the most invaluable of them all- experiences + I've learned most of my office politics there. But, but, it also takes 6 hours of my day, which I no longer have . It's been a smooth exit, hopefully very graceful and , I've already secured a position in a higher paying, more (influential) , better situated office that I like more AND has more potential. On today's episode of for God's sake learn to network , social climb and people please.
Speech coaching. First, who signed up for advanced English classes? Moi. Me. Complimented by learning apps. Who is also getting speech coaching? Me. My English is okay, if I was a high schooler, but I'm not. One, my accent gotta go. Two, I need to learn to project my voice, I'm really soft spoken and third, I need to properly articulate my words because me and my ADHD talk like someone is chasing us and we need to squeeze a novel of a story into three minutes. (Ps, when I feel confident, we WILL do that podcast thing, I promise)
Moving out to a more influential residence area. Given the rent & basically everything is just so so expensive this might not be the best financial decision I've made so far BUT as much as I love my little rooftop studio apartment , it just wasn't it. Your environment matters and although it wasn't in a ghetto type neighborhood it wasn't exactly somewhere I'd bring my mom to visit. I haven't moved into some kind of Beverly hills , just a, let's call it, middle middle class neighborhood. I managed to get a sweet deal on ANOTHER rooftop apartment (they're usually smaller & not really that attractive bc it rains X snows so much , but I love them. Make friends with people in real estate besties. Because of this though my budget just went so high, which leads me to my next point .
Did I actually get an actual personal finance coach? Yes ma'am I did. I've been doing pretty well with my personal finance, I'm proud of myself BUT for someone applying for citizenship I can FINNALY invest with the big bucks and buy property and and all these things I didn't feel the pressure for in uni- so having help from someone highly recommended might be helpful.lets see. I'm pretty money smart but you can't get too money smart now, can you.
When it comes to fashion and styling I'm milkkkkk. Tank top, jeans, goodies, tennis shoes ftw (mostly bc I'm quite the tomboy) but the big bucks need you to look like a billion bucks so fine I did book a style month with this fashion kid running a bootcamp in my uni. He's won multiple contests and award and is to the minimalist side, like I am, so I trust him to a point (plus so obviously old money) . That's all the way in July so no rush.
Will I share everything I've learned? Of course. Every last thing.
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I just remembered that one ridiculously cute thing in uni during the body donor class - for context: we dental students got pooled together with the meds during the pre-clinical semesters a lot, and that class was no different.
We were separated in two main groups, and one body donor was shared between 12 students - coming in from Monday to Thursday. On Fridays, you could come in until 12 and just look at the donors without any supervision, you just needed your coat and name tag. And I remember going in before the situs oral and trying to understand how blood flows through the heart and then one of the meds (super intimidating buff guy) saw me struggle and was like '... Hey do you want me to explain that to you?' and then we sat there - him with a whole heart in hand, explaining it all to me, more than happy to help. Not gonna lie, I had a bit of a crush on that guy for the rest of the semester. We weren't even in the same group, so we never saw each other during prep hours but I always had my eyes peeled for him during lectures haha
tw.anatomical stuff (i'm german so if my translations are a little off then i'm sorry hah), cadavers, just fluff
Long story short - I'm thinking about that with Law. You and Chopper are at the same table, come in every Friday to review the material of the week, both a little on the not-so-studious side. (Don't get me wrong, you go to every lecture - but those suckers are two hours long and not the only class you have. It's easy to lose track, especially when all you wanna do is catch up on sleep during the weekends.)
You pull your donor out of the body bag, lay them down and go over your notes, some sessions more and some less successful. The two of you are usually not alone, either - there is always someone else rifling around on their own table. Today it's a guy with a severe expression and some earrings. You've seen him in the lecture hall but you and Chopper aren't in the same group as him, so that's really all you know.
You get through this week's lecture notes just fine - until it's time for the heart. The way blood gets fed through the atriums and ventricles, how the pressure changes, systole and diastole, the coronary arteries... You two are feeling beyond lost and so, so close to simply giving up - it's just too much and too intricate (at least for someone who has heard all of that info only once, maybe twice).
But then there is also that other student - and maybe, just maybe, he knows more than you two do. It's not unusual to ask - and so that's what you do.
Law can't be assed, actually.
He's reviewing his notes, trying to get his own studying done. He's really not the type to do tutoring, doesn't have the patience for it.
But you two are loud - hemming and hawing over your own cadaver and if he has to hear you confuse the mitral valve with the tricuspid one more time, then he's going to get a migraine. What are twenty minutes of his time if it means that you get done with your little idiot session and finally leave the hall? So he sighs and motions you to come closer.
He's surprisingly good at explaining. The heart of his donor in one hand, a tissue forceps in the other, he walks you through every fact one would want to know about the organ. You probably have stars in your eyes while he talks because finally, finally you're grasping the material - and really, it might be confusing at first, but it's not that hard. He even lets Chopper regurgitate it all to him and has the two of you giggling over it.
Law is just glad you two morons are finally having your little eureka moment because it means that you'll be off in a matter of minutes.
But no good deed goes unpunished.
It's then that you notice his tattoos through the nitrile gloves and suddenly he's the most fascinating living guy around (the most fascinating guy is dead on table 5, with golf ball sized cysts in his liver, sorry Law). He gets bombarded with questions, you and Chopper all over him, way too loud, too excited, too fucking annoying.
He's already regretting his little act of charity.
And not only do you have the audacity to ask him to explain fetal circulation (because, please, please it's so confusing) as well, no, from that moment on, you're all over him very goddamn Friday and he's been added to three different group chats the moment Chopper and you leave the hall.
#i loved that class lol... so good#some universities have free videos of the instructors doing the dissections if that sounds good you should def give it a try#it's fascinating stuff and i have only the fondest memories 😊#/one piece#/law#trafalgar law x reader#law x reader
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Sweater Weather. | J.JH (M) Part 3 <3
prologue- “I want you.” + “I want to look at your face as we do it.”
tw- friend’s older brother!jaehyun x fem!y/n. sungchan is jaehyun’s younger brother. y/n has the fattest crush on jae and he finds it rly cute. Fluff and SMUT in this part <3. Soft smut. Soft dom jaehyun. Praising. Jae wants to take care of y/n. After care mention. Mirror is in use <3
notes- Heavily inspired by Sweater Weather By Neighbourhood. <3
tag list- @kae-t-eee <3 @j69no <3 @back2jisung <3 @pretiurs @seodami <3 @humongouscowboyskeletonranch <3 @hwaluvx <3 @caramelhyunn <3 @seokjinnjuice <3 @ytzvivi <3
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It’s been a few weeks since the romantic confession between you and jaehyun. Your relationship with him was just the beginning.
Though the small sneaking about together behind Sungchan so he wouldn’t question why you two are suddenly really close, it somehow made you feel like you were in a romantic movie.
The days you guys weren’t able to meet one another (and you weren’t at the dorm but at your parents home), he would surprise you by gently throwing stones at the edge of your window, surely to wake you up. Then you come down from the front door and star gazing all night with him in a field behind your house.
You’d surprise him with made up lunchboxes when he would drop you secretly to uni on days you were running late, before leaving, you kiss him on the cheek leaving him flustered.
But now it’s been five days you haven’t seen him physically. Every uni student currently is going through it, their sleep schedule said goodbye and so did their will to continue. You know what this means. It was exam season. The most fearful thing that a university student could possibly hear.
The peers of pressure to pass the marking slot, the competition between their colleagues was high up on the list. Hell it felt like.— while teachers and professors somehow expect you to keep up with homework piles that are strangling your room in half as well as revising for the exams you have in just about few hours AND turn up to class too. It wasn’t easy. Far from it.
Nobody warned you how university was going to be stressful. Despite it having many good things to boost about, it can’t really compete to the stress you will get.
You blow on your lips following by a harsh sigh. You’ve been pulling at your hair for a while now as you wrote down on the very important fact to the success of hopefully passing. In the library that you’re residing in, there weren’t many people. Just a few plus the librarian.
Then a beeping vibration set you from the focusing zone you have brought yourself in. The phone screen flicking on with a green notification. You didn’t think much of it, so you pick it up without much emotions. Apathetically slandering the fact you’re so close to just slamming a book on someone’s head.
Yes you do have your frustrated moments. The tired droopy eyes watch the screen as you unlock it, your lips fall apart, your eyes immediately forcing in an eye-smile.
“My love <3”: hey baby i know it’s exam week but how do you feel about coming over? sungchan won’t be home because he will be doing a study sesh with his friends.
“My Girl <3”: hey bb imma come over then. i really need to see you </33 this close to having a mental crisis in this shit holeeee ;_;
“My Love <3”: this is a first i ever saw you swear and it was over exams, must be really hard for you :( don’t worry i’ll get your favourite ice cream and put on pitch perfect <3 mwah
“My girl <3”: you’re a life saviour babe. i’ll see you soon mwah
a hand slams down on the table causing you to nearly drop your phone, you’ve been lovestruck staring at the screen repeating yours and Jaehyun’s conversations that you completely ignored that the boy standing next to you now was speaking.
“yah what are you reading so intensely, it really didn’t look like exam revision.” Sungchan would say as he sat down on your table. you thickly laugh as you put the phone away. “of course it was revision. what else would i be looking at.”
you play it off cooly and calmly, turning back on the multiple books you brought to help. sungchan unzips the bag, pushing down the science books.
“i thought you were texting your boyfriend or something because you had this very goofy smile that only happens when you love someone.”
he was still completely unaware that you was dating his brother and honestly, it might shock him quite a bit. you would rather give it some privacy between you and jae before finally coming out to announce it
your eyes widen a tiny bit before awkwardly stuttering. your hands shake in front of the boy as you go to deny it. but another thing interrupts you and sungchan. The boy smiles.
“sungchan hey,” a much younger looking boy spoke as he turns to face you. Sungchan grins. “shotaro!”
“oh yeah so y/n, this is my friend shotaro. shotaro this is y/n, the one who tutored me.” the young boy beams and you turn around bowing your head politely to shotaro. the Japanese bot sits down next to sungchan with a bright smile.
Shotaro kindly speaks as he watches you. “nice to meet you y/n.”
“you too shotaro. are you perhaps going studying?” you raise your eyebrows at the two boys who hum agreement in unison. looks like he’s actually going on study dates with shotaro, how cute. sungchan opens the book.
“i’m meeting shotaro with two other boys, Chenle and jisung, in our year. we’ll be at the boys dorms most of the night.”
you would wow proudly, watching sungchan finally doing study sessions on his own without it your help. there ran something so in your blood that would make you feel like you’re watching a friend who was getting independent finally. it really made you happy, more happy than about your own achievements. Shotaro gently sways leaning to y/n.
“do you want to join us y/n? the more the merrier.” shotaro said and you’d raise your head with a soft smile. “I appreciate the offer but i think i’ll just go home or something. i’ll be fine for tomorrows exam.”
sungchan boosts braggingly as he whispers to shotaro, but the whispering was clearly loud enough for you to hear in the dead silent library. “taro don’t worry about her, she’s the prodigy. there’s no way she will fail any of her exams .”
shotaro gently gasps watching y/n. he heard about the female prodigy but never did he think it would be you, or the fact that he’d meet her.
“y/n you’re the infamous student who has 100 on their classes?” the boy whispers loudly. you blink lightly confused.
why was it a big deal? you rub your neck nervously. “uhm yeah but it’s not a big deal.”
“don’t be so modest y/n! my brother is a prodigy as well and he complimented you so much. clearly it is a big deal, a thing to be proud of. so take claim to it.” sungchan bluntly tells as he shakes off your humble demure. Shotaro looks at Sungchan.
he frowns looking the tall boy up and down from where he sat next to. “if your brother is the prodigy, what happened to you?”
Shotaro blurts out and Sungchan’s jaw drops to the floor, ears growing lightly pink. he pouts soon as he scoffs. “yah what’s that supposed to mean?”
“I mean…you don’t have the best grades. If your bro is so smart what’s up with you?”
“i’m not a biologist so i dunno! i guess he took all the brain genes with him.” sungchan murmurs silently sulking at shotaro’s blunt questions. y/n would smile watching the two boys lightly bicker and speak amongst themselves now.
you soon bid goodbye to sungchan and shotaro when it got much darker, by the time you left the library and the university campus it was 8.00 at night. you would be knackered to say the least, you’re feeling by the time you finish this week’s exam your brain will be fried inside and out like it was a bare boneless chicken laying in the desert.
making your way to Jaehyun’s house wasn’t that far in fact, you took the bus there and then got off. the walk from the bus stop would’ve been about fifteen minutes. you were anticipating to see your boyfriend after so long, seconds away from him felt like years and days without him would equal to decades passing like the blooming spring. it felt cold and empty without his warm bubbly presence that keeps you awake on your feet like caffeine would do. You didn’t slow walk on your way to his house, you ran. You ran through the late night just so you’d see him sooner; your mind was creating scenarios of his face, of his voice, the way he’d welcome you.
god how much you missed him couldn’t be put into words. when you are stressed he was your de-stress reliever if anything. it’s just a shame that he’s graduated from uni and you still have a few to go. The way you long to be standing in front of his door, hand clenching in a ball out ready to knock two times then awaiting the door to swing open.
and when the time came, you did exactly that, knocking on the door as your feet stomp on the ground with a rush of adrenaline excitement. the way this felt like a happy ball of heaven to you. the black door pulls open revealing a tall man wearing a white oversize hoodie and those grey-black checkered pants that he favours over anything. if he could, he would wear these every single day, anywhere.
The sight of your lover standing wide open with arms out only for you to walk in, to run in, to jump and never let go off in; the corner of his eyes sparkling down at you the moment those dull iris orbits met you once again, ears smiling wide as his eyes wrinkle with happiness.
Your face mimics the same euphoric expression he deadpanned at you with freedom. You lung yourself at him tight curling up, just like a baby kangroo would of done to it’s mother. jumping in the pocket. Arms linking by the end of his neck, your body weight crushed him just the way he wanted, he missed you. Everything reminds him of you when you are gone, busy with life as anyone would be; but the way everything reminded him of you tortured him deeply with penetration in his heart.
It just made this whole moment more worth it though. He gently sweeps arms around you the moment you jump on him. He kicks the door closing it shut with his back. He’d focus on locking his hands on you and only you.
jaehyun brings you into his bedroom with a deep longing kiss on your lips. he brought you underneath where he sweeps his thumbs on the sides of your chubby apple cheeks, he then disconnects from your lips, attacking your entire face with his wet lips.
pecking your forehead, eyes that you close in motion, your beautiful nose. Jaehyun’s lips kiss your reddish cheeks that felt cold, he easily warms them up with the multiple kisses he dents on your body.
You squeak tapping his arms as you start to squirm. Eventually those lips slowly crawl down to your neck where he was just carried away. he was savouring the moment with you. Your breath going ragged.
“jae i’m not going anywhere!” you openly exclaim with a soft loving sigh leaving. he gives a one final deep smooch on your hands that you tap him previously. he felt the way you were cold still. “you weren’t gone for long but why does it feel like it was an eternity.”
he would say gazing into your eyes lovingly. You sit up taking off your jacket, he rolls off helping you with your bag too. The man didn’t even give you time to take off the outdoor clothes and shoes, but that doesn’t bother him, he didn’t care enough at the time. Jaehyun lovingly watches you do such simple chores, but why was he so struck by everything you do? Love really makes you feel brainwashed.
but in the best way possible.
You turn around where you realise he’s been staring at you the entire time. You lightly tease speaking, reaching to squish those loving bread dimples. “you keep watching me like i am some meal dish.”
he chuckles humming a bit with his husky deep voice that just makes you stop and listen no matter what. “i’m just watching my girl look so pretty from afar, can’t her boyfriend do that?”
he curls as he pulls you immediately to lay down with him on the warm bedsheets that smelled exactly like him, welcoming . You grin as your legs and thighs wrap around his own lower body, he made sure that his hands rest on your waist, carefully caressing up and down your hips and curvy waistline.
“her boyfriend can do whatever he wants.” you reply back leisurely, as he felt your fingertips push his long free luscious locks back. Twirling them round your thumb or lightly flipping it around. simply admiring how he was such a beautiful masterpiece.
She paints him a ray of sunshine on a night starry sky. That’s the only way it could define her and him together. He was the observer, the watcher, the viewer, the mere bystander. As she was the performance, the art, the extraordinary history.
You suddenly raise your eyebrows realising something. “we both agreed to a movie and ice cream, but the first thing we did was cuddle and lay in bed together.”
“i know right? But i think those can wait.” jaehyun tells as he sits up, leaning leisurely to your lips once again. he pecks it softly.
“i’d rather talk to you over a movie and ice cream anyday.”
your heart throbs scraping against your chest heavily, hearing such loving words that no one else expressed to you but only him. You reach upwards to kiss him on the lips with enough passion to get him riled up, he responded by pulling on your waist and crawling on top of you. The way your hands slip round the hem of the hoodie to pull, running your fingertips down his abs and abdomen.
You murmur soft sighs once those abused lips left and began to roam on your soft collarbones exposed by your loose blouse, he sucks on it very light enough to cause visible red marks. you pull off the hoodie which he obliged, letting you strip it off from his skin, letting you take your own control. He enjoys the way you openly do small detailed actions to catch him slipping, like the way your fingertips pull on his hair to deepen whatever he was doing. The way your thighs tackle his hips pulling your bodies even closer.
Your moans were a reward to him, especially those soft ones that slowly get louder. You become needier, you act on the neediness too, but you didn’t have to beg him. He will give you whatever you want, whatever you request, he is at your demise.
“I want you.” Those words leaving your gaping mouth as he slowly strips the blouse by the ribbon, taking it off your exposing body that he so dearly fell in love with all over again, the way you’re slightly smaller than him but you look as if you were carved out of the most fragile, beautiful lingering glass that was an antique to the world. Jaehyun softly hums above your bra, with his hands playing with to soon unclip it right off. He kisses above your cleavage.
“Then have me.” Jaehyun fully said as he sits up on the edge away from you now. You crawl slowly to him as you make yourself at home on his hard crotch, sitting right on it where your boyfriend could feel the soaking patches on your panties. He lightly groans as you softly dry hump on a specific spot.
It got him going feral, quite literally, as he tightly grips on the bedsheets. He lungs his head down, as you constantly do the same circling motions back and forth. You whimper when he tightly pressed you down on his hard crotch through the boxers fabrics
“please just, fuck me already.” you beg. jaehyun soothes your desperate cries by softly caressing your face.
“Patience is virtue baby.” he whispers, starting to hover your entire weight on the bed centre as he positions you underneath him. but a specific lining directly to the wide mirror in his room grazing over your lined bodies.
Then the most shocking words left his unbearable lips running on your body like it was a tug and war. He wishes to see everything, because this was both your first times together, though he was experienced and you weren’t; he wasn’t trying to scare you off with something dramatic. He wants to do you slow, enjoy this moment with him as much as you can. He doesn’t want to hurt you, he doesn’t wish to do anything extravagant.
When it comes to you, the simpler decision is always the best decision.
“I want to look at your face as we do it.” He states as your face was turning to the mirror on the side, you thickly gulp your abdomen squeeze. He hovers over your panties which he slips off, the way you had a puddle patch on the white underwear amazes him. The effect he has on you, will always have a clutch on him that he doesn’t know how or why.
You whimper as the new sensation of galloping mouth went straight without warning to topple you up like you were a meal to him. He acts on the pure lust running in his veins, but also the love that he wishes to push you to the most ecstatic high you will ever experience. The way your thighs squeeze together he was underneath, you watching him eat you out in vulgar raw manner, but the way there was a sense of love from him made you wetter than before.
You were a soaking mess. Jaehyun loved that, he didn’t care if you made a mess, he plans to make you his beautiful disaster.
“Ooh…fuck- im..” y/n warns with the body twitching unable to finish the last sentence as her orgasm approaches unexpectedly, he felt your insides ferrule round his long tongue exploring inside you, the taste of your high was soon approaching. The lush of wetness exploding on him tongue as left him kitten licking you clean, there was no way he would miss a single drop of you.
He lifts himself up pulling on your ankles, in which you look up seeing stars. The post orgasm has left you wanting for more, as you were left feeling high in another dimension. He sent you into another world.
He trails softly, kissing the inner thick thighs. “Mm, you taste divine, god. i want to feel you pulsing like that on my cock, so so badly.” you moan at the imagination, tugging on his boxers length.
“What’s stopping you?” you whisper as you ask him, he takes a moment to find the correct words. jaehyun leans in resting his forehead on top of yours, closing eyes. “i want you to enjoy your first time. At least, with me.”
you melt by the respectful yet considerate words, your hands wrap round his jaw, nodding softly. “I want this, as much as you want this.”
“so please, use me however you want.”
Use you. Those words ran through his head like a mantra chanting, then there it was, you were soon to realise that you fully triggered something inside your boyfriend in that moment. The way you have your permission, submitted to him with such bewitching words that left him thinking wonders and wonders of scenario is to use you.
He was absolutely ballistic over you. Jaehyun softly pins you down where he finally slings off the boxers, you face down to be met with a spring free huge length, in all honesty, you sorta lost the confidence when you met eyes with his raging hard boner.
You let out stutters of questions over questions. “I mean..I- will it even fit…babe..?” you whisper and jaehyun gives you the outmost soft look. he must’ve realised that you feel intimidating, but all he does to calm your sudden anxiety was with a gentle forehead kiss.
“It will baby, i’ll be really careful and slow with you.” you heard him tell as her aligned it with your entrance. At first you weren’t sure what to expect, but sooner than later you found out the answer to your exact thoughts. A piercing warm sensation stretched you out repeatedly but, carefully, you felt the amount of self control jaehyun had over him to not just ram in you because of how welcoming you were to his hard length.
You were clenching him like crazy, unable to push out the addictive pain feeling that made you want more. As your hands clenching on the bedsheets beneath your body weights; he hears you whisper desperately.
“Please move.” you direct him very slowly as he gives a soft nod, that is when the soft singular thrusts made you shrink in complete pleasure taking over your body.
Oh how loving you felt under your boyfriend who’s unforgiving thrusts were pushing in and in your walls constantly like it was a running a game of tag. The way you were crying with pleasure, tears piling in your ears, as your boyfriend gently wipes and shoos your hushing voice carefully, spilling words of affirmation at you.
He kept ramming about how you are doing amazing, that you’re like a drug keeping him tied to you, words of praising that you’re beautiful, and that you deserve everything in this world can give .
It was so hard to respond back but he couldn’t blame you, your body was doing all the telling. Clenching with every words he spoke with a big pulsing rush of electricity sent to him.
The way the reflection of you arching your body at the quicker pace of thrusts and pounds he gave in, he was watching your perfect body underneath him at his dispose of to use. Jaehyun, fell in love with you through a mirror all over again. As if it was love at first sight once again.
He can’t get enough of you truly. The way your night ends with I love you’s, kisses, you stay in each other’s accepting embraces and replay the memory back.
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@onyourhyuck please refer from translating copyrighting and plagiarising my work, thank youU <3 reblog this fic and follow me for more to stay updated! It helps a girl out.
I’m writing this as I’m sick, I hope I didn’t make any mistakes LMAO. 😭
#nct fanfiction#nct smut#nct x reader#nct u scenarios#nct hard hours#jaehyun hard thoughts#jung jaehyun#nct jaehyun#jaehyun hard hours#jaehyun fluff#jaehyun fanfic#nct drabbles#nct imagines#jaehyun smut#nct 127 smut#nct fic#nct recs
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Just saw your sketchbook post and I am amazed at how clean it all looks O_O /pos
So I was wondering, what materials do you use for your traditional drawings (all the stuff from sketch to final piece)?
BOY AM I GLAD YOU ASKED THIS *ahem*
Behold 😌
For the sketchbook pages, I mainly stuck to these materials though ^^ these guys are my…
PRIMARY MATERIALS
The green mechanical pencil on the picture on the left has 0.7mm colored lead in it! I alternate between blue and pink colored leads depending on what fits the overall color of the piece better.
Once I finish up the sketch, I line it with the black pilot ballpoint pen! I really like the control and feel of ballpoint pens for traditional lineart, because it gives a sort of variety in pressure I can’t seem to achieve with normal fineliners. I like to switch up the colors of the lineart too sometimes, hence the pink and red ballpens.
Then once the linearts done, I color them in with the stabilo highlighters, as pictured on the right! These guys are my FAVORITES. Sometimes when I’m just freely sketching I use the grey or peach mini stabilos. Although, they do tend to be a bit runny, ‘cause they’re meant for quick highlights and not multiple strokes over an area ^^; so you do have to be careful and quick when coloring with them to get an even coat of color!
Sometimes, though, when there are other colors or textures I want in a drawing, I use my…
SECONDARY MATERIALS
Pictured above are all my alcohol based markers! The four on the left are neon sharpies for when I need that extra eyestrainy kick. The three promarkers with the pointy cap were from when I was a freshman in uni and wanted to collect a full set of alcohol markers, but these were the only colors they had in stock and the college supply store ✌️ I’ve since given up on that dream because they were really expensive ;; they’re really good for sunny grassy scenes though! The last dark blue marker was from a set of other blue markers, but the others have since dried out… I use it when I really wanna darken up a page, like for night scenes!
This is my prismacolor set! I like to pair these with the markers, going in after the initial layer of color to give a bit of variety or shine. Some examples of when I use them would be for adding blush or giving hair a glossy sheen 👍
These ones are my “fuck it” materials lmao
I use these when I really just wanna scribble something down wildly. I had these since I was in gradeschool and its quite frankly a miracle they still work? Oh, and the red and yellow twistable crayolas are missing because I vaguely remember giving them to some childhood friends for some reason 🤔
My fineliners and gellyrolls! Haven’t used these much recently tbh. I’d used them for class before, but I never really likes how flat the thickness tends to be :/ the brush tips and chisel tips are cool though. I used them for that one yellow bdubs doodle to try and see if my opinion of them has changed ^^ it hasn’t. Moving on…
Lastly, we have the special materials! The ones that don’t really go into any sets, or have nice applications. In order from left to right:
Wink of Stella - A brush pen that applies glitter through some sort of black magic. No idea how she works but I love her
Red Marvy Art Director 1400 - A red fine tip marker. Can’t go wrong with a bright red marker 👍
Golden Posca - My only posca marker. Figured if I should get one it might as well be something special.
Faber Castell Blue Highlighter - I use this alongside the stabilos. It has a really nice deep blue color ^^
And well! That should be everything! ^^ Thanks for giving me an avenue to gush about my materials lmao 🥰
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Okay what about one where there reader is Michael's new (hot) art teacher and William is just "Michael you need to join the art club immediately" or "well I GUESS if the pta needs help with the spring art festival -"
Hello! This has too so long I'm sorry 😶 Uh I hope this is what kind of thing you were looking for, thank you so much for the request.
Side note it took me so long to figure out what pta was lmao
So,
art teacher (gn)reader x william afton (sfw)
"Well, I'm happy to let you know that Michael is doing really well in my class. He's an absolute pleasure to teach." You smile, looking from the father to the son. The resemblance was more than evident, but their attitudes were opposites, Michael sat as he always did, hunched forward, his hands twisted together, he was scarcely able to hold your eyes for more than a few seconds. His father though took up a lot of room in his chair, his posture reeking of easy confidence and he had no difficulty looking at you. It was moments like this that you could learn a lot about a student’s home life and it was abundantly clear that these two weren’t so close.
"But?" Mr Afton prompted, his tone jovial. He was beginning to understand why his son likes art so much. A lovely thing like you leading the class? Who could blame him? He'd expected some old lady wearing well too many scarfs, glasses on a pearled chain around her neck, not someone like you.
"But,” You can’t help but smile, heat rising to your cheeks, “as I'm sure you've learnt from his other teachers tonight, currently Michael might struggle to meet the entry requirements of universities." As you spoke, you had to work hard to keep your thoughts on track, this man was attractive in a way you didn't expect. He smirked when you paused, and you forced your gaze on Mike. "But as I said to Michael before, we've got plenty of options to boost grades."
Michael spoke up, "Need to join a club or something."
Nodding, you turn to explain why to Mr Afton. "Yeah, certain enrichments can be graded. I'm advocating the art club… He'd get the opportunity to make a portfolio, which Unis love, and I have no doubt he'd excel." The man before you looked bemused, his eyes flicking up from your lanyard to your eyes.
"And, do you run the art club?"
You grin a little embarrassed, "Yeah, I do-"
The dad chuckles and looks to Mike offhandedly, "Then you should absolutely join." To which he rolls his eyes, partly at his father’s blatant flirting and at the lack of enthusiasm at joining your club.
Mike sighs, "Yeah okay, I'll go."
"Smashing. I'll put you on my register." You pull out the document from your lever-arch folder and quickly jot his name down. Whilst doing so, the man opposite you watches your left hand for a ring and on seeing there wasn't one, smirks from ear to ear.
Once done, you quickly put your hands out in an attempt to stop them from leaving, "Uh, before you go. I'm really sorry to ask, but we're holding an art festival next week and I'm struggling to find some help... would you be willing to lend a hand?'' You automatically feel guilty for asking. Doing so in person put a lot more pressure than a general email, but you were hoping to almost force him. Like you’d tried to with every other parent tonight.
You catch Michael’s expression, you’d asked him the other day if he had anyone that would want to help out and he’d laughed a little, “Uh no, not really.” he’d said. You do feel like you’ve gone behind his back a bit, but if you can’t get a few more pairs of hands this festival is going to fall on its arse.
He sat back in the chair, his feet poking out at your side of the desk, "A festival? What exactly would you have me doing?"
You smile, pleasantly surprised that he was obliging you, "Mainly the setup, it's a lot of stuff to move out to the green. Though of course all-day help would be appreciated, I just don't want to push my luck."
"You already are," he smirks, "when is it?"
"Next Friday, the 19th." Your eyes go wide as you wait for his answer, all the other parents you’d asked tonight had told you that they were working on Friday, as people tend to do, and you have a feeling that he was about to say the same.
He hums, “Friday-” but is cut off by Michael,
“You work Fridays.” he states, a harsh tone on the words, making you think that he really didn’t want his dad to help you out.
Scoffing, he shoots his son a look, “Yeah I do.” Before turning his attention back to you, “But, I could skive it.” The expression on his face is hard to place, perhaps mischievous, or sly. Regardless, you panic slightly.
“Oh. No, you don’t have to do that, Mr Afton-”
He puts his hand out to silence you and it works, you bite your tongue instantly, “I know, but I will. It’s not exactly like I help out frequently.” He’d decided already, either because his son was clearly desperate for him not to do so, or because he’d like to spend a bit of time with you. Let's face it, it was both. And so, you were left with little option but to graciously accept, and you thank him.
As your student and his father leave, he shakes your hand. “Thank you, Mr Afton. You’ve really helped me out.” Both your hands encase his and it doesn’t occur to you that that is unusual until you do it, heat beneath your face. He flashes you a smirk that makes your blood ice, before nodding.
“It’s fine really. Should be fun.”
~
Friday was as manic as you had expected. The second you arrived at the college you were behind, the mass of stalls and pieces of art were absurd to move even with the three others you’d manage to recruit: the head of languages, Martin, a science teacher, Kris and of course, Mr Afton. Another parent was expected but dropped out last minute, adding to the workload. And the people in charge of the stalls and activities wouldn’t arrive until kick-off so to speak.
Surprisingly, Mr Afton was a godsend. Helping you drag the stall skeletons on to the field, well you dragged them, he rather easily picked them up, somehow managing the awkward height and weight without breaking a sweat.
“Now, you’re just showing off, Mr Afton.” you giggle, trying not to look at the way his arms flexed whilst he carried the objects. You can’t really help it though and try to steal what glimpses you can as the two of you lug 12 stalls outside. If you’d have known he was doing the same you probably would’ve dropped everything and made a fool of yourself, so mercifully he’s much slier with his staring than you are.
It’s only when you’re done with the moving, the two of you can start decorating, the other workers put on duty setting up the games, things like a ring toss and lucky-dip. You study him for a moment while he’s distracted tying the string of a line of bunting around a nail that probably shouldn’t be sticking out of the stalls, and good lord this man looks a lot like his son. Everything from the dark hair which probably wasn’t as neat as he’d left it this morning, to the shape of his brow, making his eyes look hooded and narrow. The difference was all attitude and experience. You have to glance away when you start thinking about his experience.
“Ooh what are you looking at? Am I doing it wrong?” he asks, bringing heat to your cheeks at the knowledge that he’d just caught you staring for way too long. He turned his head, looking down the sting, checking to see it wasn’t coming undone or tangled.
“No, sorry.” your smile hints at your embarrassment, “It just crossed my mind how much you look like your son, sorry.” God you hate the way you’re smiling just because he’s looking at you but it’s completely involuntary.
He smirks at that, “Well, I am fairly certain I’m his father.” his tone was playful despite the nature of what he was joking about. “I take it you don’t have any kids?”
“Uh no, no I don't. What gives that impression?”
“You look well rested.” he walks over to you and crouches down to look in a box at your feet, “And you’re smiling too much.”
You giggle, “I know.” You rub at your temples, “It’s a nervous thing.” The second you say that you question yourself why, what a weird thing- you feel so awkward. He’s just a man. An attractive man- yes. But just a tall… brooding… handsome… man.
“And here I was thinking you were just enjoying my company.” he sniggers, bringing you out of your head, it’s been a long time since a bloke had made you all skittish like this. He properly faces you now, searching your eyes. “What’s making you nervous?”
You, you internally answer, quickly thinking of a more appropriate response, “Just uh today. I have a feeling it’s going to be an absolute nightmare.” You drop your eyes.
“I’m sure you’ll manage.”
You briefly rest a hand on your forehead. “Got no choice really.”
He moves to walk past you but pauses, standing half behind you. “Well, I can stay and help out. If it’s not me that’s making you nervous?” he smirks as he moves away, his voice teasing, riling up some butterflies in your stomach.
~
He stays, and soon after the others arrive, students flogging their wares and local crafts aficionados, though you have them actually working, you don’t mind Mr Afton drifting around doing a bit here and there. As nice as you find him, he didn’t strike you as someone that would be happy to run a stall on his own.
Once everything has settled down and the festival is running smoothly, you allow yourself a moment of a break. He finds you sitting on a bench just off the green. There he takes a seat beside you, digging in his pocket for a packet of cigs.
“You can’t really smoke here, you know.” you laugh as he stops mid action, his lighter half raised.
He shrugs, reasoning “I’m outside.” resuming the act though now watching you for further reaction.
You fold your arms, a grin contradicting the seriousness. You’re well-aware that you weren’t going to stop him. “Still a college… I won’t tell on you though.”
He chuckles as he takes a drag on it. This was like a flashback to his youth, so he plays his part, “Good. No one likes a sprag.” Man, it’s been a long time since you’ve heard that.
You try to steal a glance at his left hand, wanting to triple check that he wasn’t wearing a ring. Not that you would say or do anything, you just need to know. Not seeing a wedding band wasn’t enough though and the question dances around inside your head.
You finally bite the bullet and spit it out. “You’re not married then, Mr Afton?” you gesture to his hand, to give him context to how you arrived at that. You’d tried to sound like you were making small talk but it failed miserably.
The mean laugh he lets slip is pure reflex. “No. Not anymore.”He wanted to tease you by asking why you wanted to know, but you’re already flustered and avoiding his direct gaze.
“So you’re uh…?” you hesitate to finish the question, realising you were jumping to a conclusion.
Thankfully he finishes it for you, “Divorced? Yeah.” He just loved how you smiled at him in relief there, the amusement evident on his face.
You try to explain why you fumbled that so badly, talking quickly, “Well. I didn't want to say divorced and get it wrong."
“In case…?”
God, your face is hot again, why can’t you just talk normal to this guy. “In case… you know… you were uh widowed or something.”
“Or something?” he questions again, trying not to laugh at how you were stumbling.
You put your head in your hands, laughing self-deprecatingly at yourself, “Leave me alone - I’m…”
“Nervous?”
“A little yeah.” you speak, your face still obscured. “I mean you’ve come and sat with me. I’m just curious why.”
You don’t need to look to feel the smirk on his face. “Maybe cos I wanted to.” You feel his movement on the bench and look up to catch his gaze, his head cocked to meet your eye line almost perfectly. “You’re pretty, you know. Even with your head in your hands.”
Your eyes open wide at his bluntness as you try and think of something to say in response. You’re starting to see why Michael was so desperate to keep him away.
#fnaf#william afton#william afton x reader#fnaf william afton#michael afton#william afton x you#gn reader
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Recs for Uni or HS BLs where studying impacts plot
My ask box is bonkers, sometimes I get a message in email saying someone asked a question and then when I check on the hellsite itself, it's gone... (What does this MEAN?)
Anygay...
@sagi-kari asked a question:
Do you have any recs for Uni or HS BLs where the main focus is studying or study related (they have to actually do the thing). Like LITA with Rain's studies being a caveat to their relationship or Big Dragon with Mangkorn's New York internship/job idr.
Basically, the study needs to be an important thing to the narrative.
This is a doozie and I'm only gonna rec stuff I rated over 8/10
University & HS BL Revolving Around Study
Semantic Error - class conflict is the inciting event, and this is one of my favorite BLs of all time. So yeah, it tops the list. I am assuming you have watched it because EVERYONE must watch this little pice of perfect. Full review here.
Blueming - the school project is the source of the conflict, this is a complicated chewy very thoughtful BL, longer than normal for Korea. If you enjoy things like The 8th Sense you might like this. Full review here.
Love Class - the whole show is about a manufactured relationship as part of a social science class experiment. Full review here.
You Make Me Dance - I mean it's a dance major so no actual book study but yeah, it's there he has to win a dance scholarship as a main part of the plot. I've never done a full review of this, and frankly that's an oversite. Time for a rewatch?
HIStory 2: Right or Wrong - it's about a teacher student relationship so...
Addicted: Heroin - especially the first half, I know what you're thinking, but also, THINK about it. It's all within a class from environment for most of the first 6 eps. I believe it counts. This is, without question, the best BL China has ever produced. FIGHT ME.
Destiny Seeker - an under appreciated pulp that is basically predicated on the university sorting hat. I have great affection for this hot mess, including all the sides. Mostly takes place within and around the complexities of dorm life. Full review here.
Kiss Me Again series (BL cut) + Dark Blue Kiss (AKA the PeteKao series staring TayNew) - it's not necessarily a driver but engineering and study is actual integral in a setting as character kind of way. And there is a lot of "make-out while studying." Plus we in the TayNew renauances and I have great affection for their original series. Everyoen shoudl watch it. Here's the watch guide.
HS BL - not exactly study, but sorta & they really good
Light On Me - Another one of my absolute favorite BLs, but it's about the school government club, not actual study. Full review here.
Love Sick - if you count club activities. I just got a full load up of this series with new subs, so I was going to do a watch along in honor of 2024 (its 10th anniversary). I am still considering it.
My School President - also, if you count extra-curricular & club activities. Another BL that i absolutely adore. No full review but I did have a long discussion on how this plays into Thailand's new norm in BL here.
Takara & Amagi - ugh I love this show so much but it's more about popularity and social acceptance in HS than studing, full review here.
About Youth - if you count external parental pressure to over achieve, another underappreciated gem, this time for Taiwan. Full review here.
I dithered...
Bad Buddy - maybe, I mean departmental conflict is a large part of the story, plus high school back story club activities, but there is very little study. Full review here.
Please feel free to add more on a RP or in comments, but remember my codicil was I have to have personally rated it over 8/10 so your baby might not be on here because it wasn't to my personal taste.
(source)
#university set bl#high school set bl#bl that actually involves studying#recommended bl#Korean bl#Semantic Error#Blueming#Love Class#You Make Me Dance#Light On Me#Taiwanese BL#HIStory 2: Right or Wrong#About Youth#Chinese BL#Addicted: Heroin#Thai BL#Destiny Seeker#Dark Blue Kiss#TayNew#Love Sick#My School president#Japanese BL#Takara and Amagi#Bad Buddy
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EDIT: If I've tagged you, there's absolutely no pressure to do this, or to even fill in all the sections. I'm sorry for not adding this sooner.
9 people you want to get to know better!!
Tagged by @likemmmcookies : D
Favourite colour: oscillating between maroon and navy
Currently reading: The Nameless Ones by John Connoly (it's a crime thriller that I started reading for the incidentially gay assassins and it's great. But if you've got dwarfism, just be aware that one of the only characters who has the same condition feels really 'othered') & To Paradise by Hanya Yanagihara (tragic, self-desctructive gays so far. Lots to say about class, colonialism and self-identity. There's a revolving door of MCs but I have to say this woman does unlikable main characters very well).
Last song: Anon -Dorian Electra (this artist would be a national treasure if America wasn't such a treasure trove of bigotry)
Last series: What We Do in the Shadows (mockumentary-supernatural-queers needs to be its own genre)
Last movie: The Killer Nurse (My mother and I like to watch true crime during lunch, okay?)
Working on: Various sewing projects that I'll only really finish after uni (which I am currently procrastinating on) this year.
EDIT: If I've tagged you, there's absolutely no pressure to do this, or to even fill in all the sections. I realise now that I've just dumped a truckful full of pressure on people, when being here should be a fun experience. I'm sorry for not seeing this sooner. Have fun out there!
Tagging: @cornon-thekopp @ashes-skye @2offayyo-kzt @minty-tea-soup @certifiedoptimist @sleeper1312 @taradacty1 @loudspeakeer @rachela1630
#Tag game#Apologies to the fellow introverts#some of y'all are just too mysterious#who are these abstract concepts on my screen#we're doing this#with my unasked for extended commentary
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WORDLESS #3 ★ masterlist.
pairing: levi x reader
genre: sugar daddy & contract killer au | warnings: toxic relationships, non graphic sex | wc: 3.5k
★ ch1. ch2. ch3. ch4. ch5
⏤ Sometimes, saying “I love you” is inappropriate, and given your circumstances, you think it might send Levi over the edge if he hears them again.
(21) Sharing your umbrella with them in the rain.
“Yeah, I did, I submitted it on Thursday. What do you mean, did it get a good mark, it’s only Monday.” As you near the front windows of the building, you sigh and stare at the gloomy clouds presented behind the glass. Seoul is cold and wet and dark today. “Fuck, rain. Anyway, I’ll call you later, Sasha, okay?”
Sasha agrees and hangs up the phone before you get the chance to, and you’re left in the cool shadow of the largest cloud in the sky. From nine until eleven, you have a morning class on Monday; today, due to request from at least five students confused by the essay title that was due on Friday evening, the class ran for an additional hour and a half, all of the subject material covered with a general extension for the following Fri. Typical, as you rushed it to hand it in before submission.
“Not going home, Y/N?”
You suck your top teeth with disappointment, “Not yet, Professor, I need to make a call.”
The slim professor arrives at your elbow, “Boyfriend?”
“Not really,” you confess. You glance at your phone and find Levi’s number, “but he owes me a few favours here and there, it won’t hurt to bring an umbrella or something.”
“Good luck,” she laughs. She doesn’t offer her umbrella, despite it being tucked under her armpit, and her car is parked in sight close to the windows. At that, she leaves and you send Levi a quick text message. If he’s working presently, the text will annoy him less than a call.
Raining! I’m stuck, can you send some to come and get me?
Levi must be in office, because his reply is speedy. Forget your subway card again?
I never ask for anything, would it hurt you to send someone to get me?
He doesn’t reply for five minutes, and then, Uni, right?
It takes at least fifteen minutes before a vehicle pulls up across the small car-park; it’s a black car, shiny and wet and loud, and you bristle at its entry. Quickly, you hug your coat closer around your body and when you glance back up towards the window, you’re surprised to see Levi himself briskly crossing the lot with an umbrella over his head.
“I’m here to pick up a Y/N L/N, you seen her?” he asks when he reaches the door, smiling as you haul it open and stare at him with happy surprise. “You did not dress for the weather.”
“The app said it would be cloudy,” you huff.
“Baby, it’s January, what did you expect,” Levi sighs, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and bringing you closer to his body. Like this, he walks alongside you towards the car and for a moment, he glances around the complex out the corner of his eye.
This University isn’t the dog’s bollocks, because as much as he’s willing to help fund you at University, he can’t pay for you to be smarter. He could bribe you in somewhere, but he knew you were against it. Besides, the more lowkey, the safer it is for you. You’re pretty happy where you are, not being at a big-name University but doing the exact same degree anyways. He’s happy that you’re happy, but if it were him, he’d probably redecorate the front.
(22) Listening to them while they vent.
When Levi vents, he doesn’t just vent. He never sits you down in front of him and lets it all out, nor does he slink away to therapy, or whining over the phone, or sleepy pillow talk where everything feels safer when you’re seconds away from falling asleep.
Instead, Levi fucks away his problems, and as he does it, you tend to get an earful.
“And,” he grunts, one slap, one thrust, “I fucked it up.” One more. “All of it.” Another groan, a deeper push, “Fuck!”
You like to let him get it all out, and on the plus side, you get what you need which is to relieve the pressure of wanting in your stomach. It’s better when he’s angry, better for both of you, and he’s full of apologies when he’s finished, as if he was yelling at you and not at himself.
“Last time I ever work with Erwin,” he spits. “Fuck. Ugh.”
You’ll ask him about it later.
(23) Taking a picture together to print and hang later.
One night, you’re over at Levi's. It’s not unusual that you’re here, especially when you’re here so often that his house feels like your own. From the bathroom, the shower runs loudly and Levi sings quietly, mostly to himself, in the water, meanwhile you dance around his kitchen making tea and bringing it to the bedroom where he’ll come in later when he’s done.
His room is golden and warm, and the curtains are drawn but the thin netting softens the sunset outside. You circle around the end of Levi’s bed and set his cup on the bedside table on his side, closest to the window, when you notice something new sitting in a frame by the lamp. Okay, you’ll bite.
You put down both mugs and in exchange pick up the frame. Something warm bubbles inside your stomach as you look down at the frame; the picture, you’ve never seen before, but it’s of you. You remember the photo being taken in Colmar, the time that Levi came to see you to satisfy his own boredom and need. Never did you imagine it would be a photo he’d print, let alone put in a frame next to his bed. It’s a pretty photo, too, with the river behind you and the sun on your skin, your hair only slightly in your face.
Not a perfect photo, but a pretty one. Levi must like it enough to have printed it.
The shower cuts off in the bathroom and you move quickly, protecting an image of innocence as you put the frame back where it once was, and pick up your mug and place it on your bedside table. You’ve placed Levi’s mug so that he could take it both ways. Maybe he’ll think you didn’t see the frame, or maybe he’ll know you did. He must have put it there for a reason, you think, and then you stop thinking when Levi opens the bathroom door and enters the bedroom.
(24) Tracing your names together in the sand.
Levi had a call from Hawaii. It was brief, and you imagine not very pleasant, but he had to go nonetheless. Levi sure as hell wasn’t going to go to Hawaii without you, no matter how dangerous that might be for him. He told you with two hours notice to pack up your shit and meet him at his place. The plane took off three hours later, and Hawaii here you come.
He never liked to be late, or behind schedule, and so the job that needed to be done was done in a record breaking speed. Like always, he’d have some time to kill before needing to flee to avoid the authorities, and when Levi heads back home after the deed is done, he steps into an empty room and his skin runs cold.
“Y/N?” he calls, to no response. He sets down his things and moves around the suite, his eyes darting to every area.
There is a moment where Levi fears for the worst and out of instinct grabs the gun tucked into his belt. He pulls it out in the bedroom but pauses when out of the corner of his eye, he sees a person standing on the beach just outside the window. Levi pauses.
Outside, the sun is warm and burning orange, sinking down into the pretty waves. You could get used to Hawaii, maybe, if you failed at journalism at the end of your degree, or if Levi hurt your feelings enough that you felt living in Korea itself would be too painful to endure.
“Y/N!”
You turn over your shoulder, noticing Levi stepping down from the dunes. He’s still in his suit, a black fit that makes him look slender and tall and absolutely stunning. His hair is still wild and wet and there’s blood on the inside of his blazer, a red that contrasts the white of his shirt. You won’t mention it, because he probably knows already.
“Hey,” you call back.
“It’s- it’s not safe for you to be out here on your own,” he explains, finally by your side. “Fuck, I was worried you’d been kidnapped, or something.”
“Oh, sorry,” you reply. “The sunset was just too pretty.”
Levi sighs with his hands on his hips. “Yeah, it is. Hawaii does sunsets better than Korea, that’s for sure.”
Levi stands next to you and says nothing for a few seconds. The sunset is indeed gorgeous, like something ripped out of a painting from a gallery somewhere fancy and famous. You hum quietly, and jump slightly to the left to grab a large stick off the sand. Levi has to stop himself from smiling as you pick it up, like a kid who pretends the stick is a sword.
“I used to write rude things in the sand for the people in planes who flew past, every single time we went on vacation when I was a kid,” you announce.
Levi laughs, “You were some kid, huh?”
“Maybe you killed the wrong one,” you think, and Levi frowns.
“Can you not bring that up all the time?” You look at him and he frowns deeper, “I know you’re happy about it and stuff, but like…not my proudest moment. Makes me feel sucky.”
“Oh,” you answer. “Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. Just a joke.”
He shrugs, “I know. But still.”
You stab the sand with the stick. “I thought maybe it was like, fitting?”
Levi lifts his head to the sky and closes his eyes. “Can’t we have a trip where we just pretend to be in love or something so I don’t feel so shit about the reason why we came here?”
That shuts you up for a moment, and you turn fully to face him as he continues to stare at the sky.
“Like Colmar, maybe,” you press, and he looks down.
“Yeah.”
It sits there for a bit, like you’re genuinely contemplating it, but then you straighten with a little huff and turn to him.
“Seems fair,” you agree.
Levi almost exhales a sigh of relief and he smiles, genuinely, and follows you across the beach. The tide is a little out, the sand damp where the sea once was and like children, you embrace the fun that’s waiting to be had on the shores. Chasing the waves, running from them, staring at cute crabs that scurry across the sand and laughing at the cute kids that drop their ice creams in the water.
Levi takes the stick gently from your hand and points it towards the white sand, pressing the tip against the grains. You smile against his arm as you bend to see what he draws; the stick drags across the sand and outlines a L, and the first initial of your name. Oh, you think, as he closes them inside a heart and stands back to admire his work.
It’s cute, childishly cute, and he looks proud. Levi looks at you for approval and you smile back, happy.
“Photo,” you say and Levi drops to a crouch near the design and poses with the stick. This photo is cute, probably cuter than the one from Colmar. Levi even lets you keep it.
(25) Wearing clothes in their favourite colour.
Levi’s favourite colour was white, and he loved the way a white shirt or a white coat or any white accessory would look on you. Sadistically he’d love you in the white clothes he ruins, seeing you wrap your body in a white shirt dressed with blood. White was his muse, a colour of purity and innocence. Although he always wore black for work, he had to have an admiration for the colour of white, standard paper or milk white.
Levi knows that your favourite colour is green. He can tell by the amount of green plants around your apartment, and the green blankets and pillows and mugs and the unusual amount of green clothing items you have in your wardrobe. He even remembers the tie you bought him once, a Slytherin green that he actually really likes despite his Hogwarts house being Ravenclaw.
You’ve never actually seen him wear the tie, not until today when Levi makes a quick stop by your apartment as he heads back to the office. He steps inside with a brown bag filled with bagels and he kisses your forehead by the front door and hands them to you. You see the tie and smile; Levi sure as hell looks great in your favourite colour.
(26) Doing a chore for them that you know they aren’t fond of.
You’re lucky that you never really came across Elio, never once when you were at Levi’s home. You had assumed that Elio was sleeping, or elsewhere on days you visited or nights you slept over. To your surprise and perhaps horror, you discovered that Elio had been there all along, just disinterested in coming out to see you from the few rooms that Levi converted into his own personal habitat.
“You just had him here all this time?” you screech quietly, running back into the bedroom after seeing Elio on the couch. “What the fuck.”
“He’s harmless,” Levi shrugs. “He’s not interested in a human diet right now.”
“Right now? That’s not comforting,” you reply. “I’m happy to go through all your shitty paperwork for you, it’s something I actually enjoy, but can you please go out and get them for me?”
Levi cocks his head to the side, “why, can’t find them?”
“They’re in the living room, on the table,” you explain, peering back out, “but Elio’s on the couch.”
He laughs, rising, “He’s not gonna even touch you.”
“He might.”
“He won’t.”
“You don’t know that!”
“No, but he doesn’t hurt me, so he won’t hurt you.”
You gape. “What? He’s your pet, of course he won’t hurt you. He trusts you. He doesn’t even know me.”
Levi sighs loudly and ruffles your hair as he crosses your path.
“Whatever. You’re such a fuckin pussy,” then he kisses your neck and heads out into the living room. You quiver by the doorway as he moves without a flinch towards Elio.
The giant cat picks his head up off the couch and yawns in Levi’s direction, his tail swooshing prettily over the side of the couch. His black fur blends into the blanket he lies on and as he blinks slowly, Levi reaches to pet his head and behind his ears. Elio basks in the love, pressing his head further into Levi’s palm, oddly dog-like. Levi spends a few more moments with his beloved exotic and then finally, like he’s reluctant to, picks up the large and messy stack of papers and then walks back towards the bedroom with a smug expression. Elio’s head falls back to sleep.
“Touch me, check I’m still alive after my dangerous encounter,” Levi says, bringing the papers into the room and dropping them on the bed.
“Shut up,” you huff.
(27) Leaving a plate of food in the microwave for when they have a late shift.
A call from Sasha at eight in the evening destroys all the plans you had set in place. Levi had been called to meet with one of the founders of the South Korean Continental, and wouldn’t be back until around nine. You had prepped an entire meal, sitting ready on the side for when he got home.
“I’m sorry, I wouldn’t call if it wasn’t absolutely important,” Sasha apologises, sounding flustered on the line, “I just. I didn’t know who else to call. I went back to the library, I think I got rid of him, but he was definitely following me from the restaurant. Fuck, Y/N, it was so scary.”
“Hey, it’s okay, I’m glad you called me,” you assure her, already putting your shoes on, “I can’t believe he showed up again. Didn’t he get put in jail?”
Sasha hums like she’s not convinced, “Out on bail, eighty kay.”
“Fuck. Do you, uh,” you start, thinking of if it’s okay to say, “want me to call someone else?” Levi?
Sasha is one of the only people alive who knows about Levi. She had been your best friend since you were seven, and was one of the only people who remained by your side after Levi had your brother executed, and after you decided to become Levi’s little play thing for a few weeks until he lost control and kept you around. Sasha’s no stranger to his antics, and if you warped the story a little, Levi would have no issues with sorting the problem at hand.
“No, no, don’t,” Sasha begs. “He’ll take it too far. People will point fingers at me. Can you just come and get me?”
“Of course,” you tell her. “We’ll go back to mine, I can see Levi whenever.”
Sasha exhales in relief, “I love you, you know that? You’re the best friend ever.”
You hang up a few minutes later and stare sadly at the meal. But it can’t be helped. Levi’s bailed on you a thousand times for his colleagues. He wouldn’t mind, after a few hours of thinking about it. You sigh with repent and move the food towards the microwave.
Rescuing Sasha. Call me, I can come back tomorrow. Please eat.
Levi finds the note when he gets home and scrunches it into a ball in the bin.
He eats alone, in silence, the other side of the table still prepped for another person.
(28) Sharing a drink with them from the same straw.
“Enjoy the movie!”
“Thanks.”
Levi takes the two tickets from the vender and steers you towards the corridor that leads to the rooms. On this rare occasion, Levi has decided to court you. Quite literally, Levi had called you up and asked if you wanted to go on a date, or something, because he was bored and liked you most, and he knows there’s a movie you’ve been wanting to see.
“Are you sure you wanna watch it with me?” you ask him, even though he’s already got the tickets and is walking next to you.
“Yeah, of course, why wouldn’t I?”
“I just didn’t think you were a cinema kind of person,” you confess.
Levi hums, “To be honest, I’m not. But this movie looks okay, and you wanna see it, and how often do we do things that you wanna do?”
It’s true.
The cinema room is dark and empty, since you’re both early to begin with. As always, it’s a little bit sticky and smelly, and Levi pushes you towards the back row because it is inarguably the best place to sit in the cinema. You set down the large drink in between you both, two straws poking out in each of your directions.
A few minutes later and the lights dim significantly, the movie is probably about to start. Levi leans to the left a little and sips from the drink.
(29) Tucking their hair behind their ear to help them get it out of their face.
Uni’s tough, nobody said it wasn’t. Levi doesn’t really understand this, since he never went to University. He brings a mug of tea from the kitchen to his bedroom where you’re sitting cross-legged staring at a laptop, setting it to the side and sitting just behind you but to your side, watching you closely.
“You’re doing it again.”
“Doing what,” you mutter dimly.
“Overworking yourself,” Levi replies, “I can see your brain fucking pulsing against your skull.”
You sigh loudly. “I can’t do this. Why did I enroll in University? I should have just put it all away after high school and become a trophy wife.”
Levi’s brows furrow. “You can still be a trophy wife, you’ll just be a smart one.”
You look at him. “I’m not smart enough for this.”
For a while, Levi doesn’t say anything, and he just sits listening to you. As you vent, and open up about how hard it is to do this damn degree, Levi watches your face and your body and uses his fingers to gently tuck the hair that falls in front of your face behind your ear. The passion that pours out of you when you’re frustrated is an unspoken beauty that you’re not even aware of, and Levi eats it up.
He does what he can to put you at ease, because things he says in encouragement are things you already know anyway. Like all humans, all you need is a little bit of love, and Levi’s happy to give it if it means you’re happy with him.
(30) Helping scratch that itch on their back they can’t reach.
“Can’t reach. Baby, scratch my back for me?”
You cringe away from the TV, “what the fuck am I? Your maid?”
“Please?”
You sigh. “Where’s it itching?”
“Thanks, you’re the best.”
“You don’t pay me enough for this.”
“I don’t pay you at all.”
Sigh. “Exactly.”
#levi ackerman#levi x reader#levi ackerman x reader#levi ackerman imagine#levi ackerman smut#levi ackerman scenario#levi x y/n#levi imagine#levi smut#aot#attack on titan#snk#aot imagine#levi aot#upload#ittojean#jeanbie
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Asking for a little advice since you’re so incredibly well spoken and wise… I start my next uni semester next week and to say that I am nervous and stressed is an understatement. I’m typing all of this at 6 AM and have not had any sleep at all lol. All of my classes are science and math courses, and like you said (I believe) in an ask that you answered about what you had studied in uni the first time and now, I too am not too good at science. I get all A’s not because I’m good at it, but because I put so much effort into it. It feels pretty pathetic that I was always once considered the smart one in my family and friend groups, but I think I’m now just the academically burnt out student. I’m getting a job for the first time this semester, and I’ll be volunteering to build up my resume. There are so many more incredibly essential things (both uni related and personal life related) that I have to do in the next six months and I don’t think I will be able to handle it all. The thing is, I have no other option. It is what it is, and I just have to deal with it. Therefore, what would you say is the best way to remain positive and what methods do you think are useful to reduce stress or at least calm yourself down in times such as those?
I’m so sorry for venting, I just wanted to give context to make my question make sense. Love ya Jade🫶🏼
no it’s okay don’t be sorry!!
well, firstly I would say that to -it is what is is, as gently as I can, that that’s not technically true. I’m so sorry because I don’t know your situation and you might be sitting there thinking well yes it is I have no other alternative, but that is the sort of thinking I had when I was in my first year of university , and it was so so damaging to me, I was so cruel to myself because I was trying to reach a level I could not get to no matter how hard I tried, and I considered this a deep personal failing when it wasn’t the case!! I truly don’t doubt that you’re in between a rock and a hard place and that there’s nothing else you can do, but if I can give you some advice it would be to try and slow down. Sometimes it’s necessary to fail a bit if it means you can breathe properly at night. I’m not sure if this is helpful to hear but when I first started uni I tried so hard all the time but I was exactly like you where I was incredibly burned out but I had always been a hard working kid (though I don’t think I personally followed the burned out gifted kid thing I was just more average and struggling when the work got really hard) and trying to force myself to perform when I just couldn’t hurt me so badly. I was really sick and I made myself worse. I’m not saying that that is what you’re going to do, but I guess what I am trying to do is gently suggest that it isn’t feasible to hold yourself to this standard, and even if it puts your life on pause or if it stunts your academic progress, you need to look after yourself, I’m really really sorry please take what I’m saying as like I know fully that I’m an outsider and I don’t know you and this isn’t even the advice you asked for, but as someone who I think has been exactly where you are I guess I’m suggesting what I wish someone had told me to do, which was to reach out for as much help as you can right now before things get unmanageable. I hate thinking you’ve been up all night worrying, no one deserves that sort of anxiety. Please get some rest if you can.
it’s so soso because this has actually made me want to cry, I have tears in my eyes writing to you, I’m just so sorry for you my love, I can’t imagine how awfully tired you must be feeling trying to carry all this weight and pressure by yourself, it’s a really horrible thing to feel so stressed out and you don’t deserve it. If you can take it easier please do, but now I’m gonna try and answer your actual original question as best as I can! I’m not sure anyone enjoys being told this but meditation can work! It really doesn’t work for everyone but it actually does for me, as well as trying to snap yourself out of the stress response. If you go on YouTube or TikTok there are videos where you follow along and they try to snap you out of your anxiety, when I was at my absolute worst they did help some. Better is to tell someone!! I would not have survived my worst moments if I didn’t have the blessing that is my nice and extremely patient friends, I have really paranoid anxiety and if I can’t get it out it stews so much and makes me feel like I’m dying and I can’t recommend enough telling someone about your problem in detail and getting some reassurance. If you can’t tell a friend or don’t want to, there’s a text service in the UK called SHOUT where you can talk to volunteers about how you’re feeling, but they’re extremely busy at night and never answered in my experience so if you do need to chat there’s more chance they’ll answer in the mornings. They will listen to anything related to suicide, self game, eating disorders, anxiety, stress, abuse, and it’s completely confidential, they just want to listen, and they genuinely answer you with real compassion and thoughts on your situation.
there’s also some ways to stay positive I’m sure you know this but eating well and sleeping well can help, but obviously if you’re struggling to begin with it’s difficult to do those things. A few years ago when I was struggling with suicidal thoughts every day I started keeping a gratitude journal, and there’s a lot of apps for that but I used one called Finch!!! He’s like a pet at the same time. It’s hard to stay positive when you feel alone and like you’re carrying a lot, so I’d maybe suggest not focusing on positivity, because when you fail to feel positive that might be another thing to upset you !! I totally get why you want to though.
there are other things I personally do to stay positive. Not sure if you can do these things but, I carve out time for my hobbies even if it means I fall behind on chores! I eat way too much sugar which is terrible for me but it makes me happy! The same for fancy drinks, I’m much happier every day if I can wake up and have a cold drink lol. Also you can get lots of dopamine from quick things like yoga or phone games. Washing your face with really cold water can help!!
Im sorry if any of this comes off as patronising or condescending that’s the opposite of my intentions, I just want you to be happy!! I think it really struck a chord in me because I know I’ve felt exactly the same way and I remember how impossible the situation felt for me. I hope so much that you can be nice to yourself while your circumstances are less than kind honey!!! You deserve some rest!
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i am taking a break from tumblr but i need strangers 2 vote on a poll for a major life decision okay. will give reasonings underneath for all the options + u will have some context if youre an avid mumintroll post reader and remember all the times i have complained and worried abt my choice of subject at uni
sooo option 1. thought process is i have already struggled through one year and made it out with decent grades, i do want to learn french and dutch even if i struggle to do it in a formal capacity at school and find language classes extremely difficult and anxiety inducing. it is possible if i take the step of getting therapy + possibly medication i will find it easier but thats a hard step to take in and of itself and i have already tried it twice in my life and pussied out both times and atp it may be easier to just work with the assumption that i wont be getting therapy/meds any time soon and do something that eases my anxiety more.
option 2. i like each of those subjects and would be okay doing one or some combination of them. however they are not the subjects i would pick if i was applying to uni afresh its just that my uni doesnt have a wide range of humanities so the subjects i would definitely want to switch to arent available to me if i want to stay in this city which i DO. i would be able to continue dutch language classes if i did this too but there would be less pressure bc the grade wouldnt count to my degree and i would be able to just chill in class w my dutch friends (i dont have friends on the french side of my course so it wldnt really matter if i stopped seeing all those people)
option 3. so this one im unsure about bc i dont know if its allowed but i would want to do dutch language + culture alongside either english/history/philosophy. i dont think they would let me since dutch isnt a primary language but i could check. i would really like to do the dutch cultural modules but again having language count towards my grade stresses me out bc i struggle with it so much. and again i dont even know if this is allowed i dont think it is but if it is i would get to go on my year abroad still but not have to deal with french classes which i find 1000000x more stressful than dutch classes
okay now vote if you read my novel idk what 2 do
#just the thought of doing one more french class makes me want to throw up one million times i dont want to do it anymore#but i do love french as a language. idk
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Now I lay me down to sleep I pray the lord my soul— ah fuck I’m thinking about Daddy Dan and not in a sexy way. Allow me to be unhinged about this. First short rant about HR. Second my absolute off the rails theory about this man. Is he really a goodie two shoes about Boston? Has Daddy Dan been stalking our stalker?
It is wild to me Dan is making Nick work these crazy hours in what appears to be an open office. NO ONE ELSE SAID SHIT ABOUT WORKING THE INTERN LIKE THIS? How legit is this company? Dan coming to Nick’s work unannounced I’m assuming since Nick’s dad is there to pressure him into working more. Seriously? Dan is the fucking worst I don’t care if you think he’s sweet no excuse to treat your intern this way. Nick isn’t completely blind to this though. He responds with “you’ve allowed me to fulfill my dream” ALSO DONT FUCK SOMEONE WHO HAS BEEN SITTING IN AN OFFICE CHAIR ALL DAY ON A TABLE NICK NEEDS A MASSAGE AND THERAPY.
Okay moving on… let’s… go… unhinged… has dan been stalking Nick? Call back to episode 3 there is a user named Studd_Star that I think is Dan. Maybe he follows nick cause he was his friend or more likely Dan used his own computer sleuthing skills to follow nick and he uses a false name and icon to be anonymous online because that’s what we techie peeps do. The posts are oddly… pointed.
Now we know dan has liked nick for awhile. We also know Dan was Nick’s senior at uni. So 3 to 4 year age gap. Is it possible Dan knows about the Notorious Boston from either stalking Nick or in Nick’s second year he took a photography elective. Dan is in animation so arts adjacent. He could have been in that class as well and saw Boston being his slutty self. Dan is creepily possessive over Nick and it is possible Dan saw Boston got confirmation of who he is here and after that increased nicks work load even more to keep him under his thumb. Powerless.
I also really feel icky about the manipulation and wording in the pre sex scene. It feels very rehearsed. Not saying Papang did a bad job I just think Dan had pre planned how to manipulate Nick into sleeping with him.
He acts like he knows Nick has someone else in mind. Nick is colder than he once was but overall I think he hides his pain very well. So what the fuck is this
Just really makes me feel like maybe the “hunter has become the prey” Im probably wrong. I’ve been wrong about Dan before but… episode 11 is coming people.
Slightly less unhinged prediction time. I think Dan is going to confront Boston about his relationship with Nick. “Nick needs to be working he needs someone good for him etc” I think this would upset Boston but hopefully he’ll be secure that Nick loves him no matter what and Nick shouldn’t be treated like shit. I won’t mind if Boston punched him but I would be happy with just one of his shit eating smiles to scare the demons away.
#only friends#only friends the series#ofts#only friends dan#only friends nick#ofts meta#only friends meta#only friends predictions#dannick#ofts nick#ofts dan#Jenny’s rambling
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Hi! I’m a first year uni student and I was wondering if you could help me out with something? It’s my second week and I’m already having trouble balancing my time. In general, how much time should I spend on each class outside of lectures a week? If it changes things I go to a decently prestigious school
[don’t feel pressured to respond if you don’t want to. I just saw your other advice posts and thought it was worth a shot :)]
Hi lovely! Figuring out time management was hard for me when I started undergrad, too. A general rule of thumb I've heard from professors is that for every credit/hour of class you have per week, you should spend 2-3 hours outside of lectures on that class. So in theory, for a 3 credit class you should spend 6-9 hours on it per week. However, I'd say that that isn't always the case! Sometimes you don't need that much time and sometimes you might need more, and I think that comes down to the class and professor more than the school (not the most helpful answer, I know, and I'm sorry for that)
I'm just going to brainstorm some general ideas below 💕
What are you studying? If you're in STEM, you might find yourself doing a lot of problem sets (my best friend was a math major and she was constantly doing work because each class would assign a certain amount of problems, and each would take a long time to do), and maybe some readings on top of that. She said that something that helped her was working with study groups can help keep you on track, and if you like them then it's even better because then you're hanging out with a friend too. She also set a cutoff time everyday where she would stop doing work so she could have a little time for herself
For me with linguistics, I had a LOT of readings to do for all my classes. Learning how to effectively skim texts and still understand the general point is a valuable skill, and it saves a lot of time! Most professors don't expect you to remember every single detail from readings, they often just want you to understand the argument and the general takeaway so you can apply it to the class (my point with asking what you're studying is that depending on the types of assignments, you might need different tips - even though I'd say my friend's tips can apply to anyone)
On a related note, lots of people take notes while reading. I had so many readings sometimes that I didn't have time for that, so if you're in a similar situation, instead of doing detailed reading notes, try reading your chapter/article, and then take a couple minutes to figure out your top 3 concepts from it that you think are most important and write those down with a quick blurb to refer to and what chapter/article the concept is from
Plan ahead and prioritize what you NEED to get done. Sometimes you won't get to everything, and you can't be too hard on yourself about it (which is easier said than done)
I've not tried this personally but I have some friends who set timers when they have multiple classes to study for. When the timer is up, they switch to the next class so they know they at least spent some time on it (it worked for them, maybe it would work for you! Again, I've not tried it)
As classes move forward and you have essays and projects come up, try to break them down into steps over multiple days/weeks. I've found doing that helps keep me from waiting until the last minute
I live by my planner. I tend to forget things if they're not written down, and it helps keep me organized as well (I write down my assignments in different colors based on what class they're for). I've found that if I can see everything I have to do it helps me prioritize and keep on track. Also it's silly but it really feels like you're getting things done when you get to cross things off, which can be oddly encouraging
Schedule in some time for yourself when you can. Part of balancing time in uni is making sure you're not being over worked. Join a club or make sure you have time to do something you enjoy, or even just time to relax :)
I hope this helps and I'm sorry I couldn't help more! Figuring out how to balance time can be pretty tailored to the individual and the classes being taken, but I hope any of these ideas are helpful! Also feel free to keep asking me things, or DM me if you want! You're going to do WONDERUL and AMAZING things ✨️
I'm also going to tag @peregrination-studies! She is my go-to studyblr buddy for if I need any tips or encouragement or a buddy to talk to 💛 check out her blog too (also hi grace! If you have anything you'd add, feel free but of course no pressure <3)
#i really hope this helps#or answered your question at all#you're gonna do great! and sometimes just getting used to uni is the hardest part#anyway go check out grace's blog too she's wonderful and an absolute DELIGHT i love her#and feel free to message me! (unless you'd rather stay on anon - that's fine too 💛)#answered asks#anon#tips#studyblr#study tips
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Losing Control, Chapter 21
‘Emilia Cooper, stay behind after class please. I need to discuss your work with you.’ Professor Laufeyson said firmly just before the end of the period.
Emilia huffed, wondering what now. She hadn’t been cheeky at all during his class this time, as she was really stressed with some exams and the death of her parents’ anniversary looming…
When the rest of the class left, Emilia went to the front and stood on front of his desk, waiting.
‘Put your hand out.’ He said simply.
She raised an eyebrow at him, but did as he said and held her hand out, palm up. Loki reached over and placed something into her hand, giving her a squeeze in the process.
When she looked, she was surprised to see it was a key.
‘What’s this?’ She frowned.
‘A key.’
‘I can see that, but what for?’
‘My place. So you can let yourself in whenever you wish. Any time of the day or night.’
Emilia was a bit stunned, unsure what to say. Part of her wanted to cry, just at how sweet he was. He knew how stressed she was just now with everything, he had said last night he wouldn’t pressure her to be with him just now when she had so much on. But he wanted to be there for her, for whatever she needed.
This was his way of telling her: I am here for you, but I won’t suffocate you. You let me know when you need me.
‘Thank you, Loki.’ She smiled at him. ‘I’m fine though, really… But this will be handy to sneak in and steal your food.’ She teased a bit, making Loki smirk.
She tucked it into her pocket, then was about to go round his desk to him but students started coming in for his next class.
‘I expect that work done by Monday, Miss Cooper.’ Loki said firmly, and loud so the first lot of students heard and didn’t suspect anything.
‘Yes, Professor.’ Emilia nodded then ducked her head and headed out.
Loki had some marking to do that evening and Emilia had lots of studying to do, so they didn’t see each other that night.
Until the early hours of Friday morning…
Loki was asleep until he felt movement in his bed, then he felt Emilia crawling into bed behind him, wrapping her arms around his back and burying her face into his back.
He took her hand and brought it up to his lips, kissing her softly.
‘Couldn’t sleep, kitten?’ He hummed quietly.
‘No…’ He could hear the shakiness in her voice, and he felt some wetness when she pressed her face against his bare back.
Loki turned around so he could face her. He cupped her face and wiped at the tears falling down her cheeks. He tugged her in closer to him, arms tightly around her as he kissed the top of her head and stroked her hair.
He didn’t say anything, knowing there was nothing to be said. He just held her and stroked her hair until she fell asleep soundly in his arms.
In the morning he cooked her breakfast before they headed into Uni. At different times of course so as to not arouse any suspicion.
Loki knew she had a day full of exams, whilst he had an early finish due to no classes in the afternoon.
So he had another plan up his sleeve.
-
Emilia was exhausted, it took all her strength she had left to walk home after Uni finished. But then the thought of having to find something for dinner made her want to curl into a ball and cry. She just wanted to go to bed and sleep, but her stomach was rumbling as she had skipped lunch so she knew she should eat something.
She was confused when she got home to find her door was unlocked. Was she really that tired she forgot to lock it? Panic set in until she stepped inside and could smell something delicious in the air.
Loki popped out of her kitchen with a big goofy grin on his face.
‘Loki?’ She frowned, confused.
‘Hey, kitten. I know you’ve had another stressful day, so I decided to cook you dinner.’ He walked over and kissed her forehead, then helped take her jacket off.
‘Uh… Wow, thank you… Have you cleaned up in here?’ She said as she looked around, noticing her flat was a lot tidier than it had been when she left it.
‘Yes. Again, I know how stressed you are right now. Thought it would take something off your mind.’ Loki grinned rather cockily.
‘Housework is the worst. So thank you so much for doing that too.’ She smiled and hugged him tightly.
‘You’re welcome… I’m not all bad and scary, now, am I?’ He grinned and leaned back a little to look at her.
She shrugged and smiled more. ‘I dunno about that, you are still a bit scary.’ She teased, making him chuckle.
He gripped her chin and kissed her softly. Then slipped a hand down to her backside where he gave her a gentle squeeze.
‘I’ve ran a bath for you. Dinner will be another hour, so why don’t you go relax till it’s ready.’ He hummed over her lips.
‘Bloody hell, you’ve thought of everything.’ She giggled a little, making his heart soar.
‘I always do.’ He winked at her.
Emilia headed off to the bathroom to enjoy the bath. The hot water was nice lapping against her skin as she relaxed into it. She ended up so relaxed she almost fell asleep, but she fought to keep herself awake so she wouldn’t drown.
But then suddenly she had the thought of… how the hell did Loki let himself in?
Once she had washed and rinsed her hair, she got out of the bath and dried herself. Then put on her dressing gown and headed through to the kitchen.
Loki turned to see her with her hair wrapped up in a towel and her arms folded across her chest.
‘What’s wrong, kitten? Didn’t you enjoy your bath?’ He queried.
‘How did you get in here?’ She asked, narrowing her eyes at him.
Loki suddenly looked very sheepish as he rubbed the back of his head. ‘I uhh… I stole your spare key a few weeks ago. For emergencies.’
Emilia’s eyes widened. ‘What? I wondered where that went, as I was going to give it to you after you gave me yours!’ She squeaked. ‘So you’re not only a persistent, pervy professor stalker, but you are a thief now too.’
‘I guess I am.’ Loki nodded with a smirk. ‘And do you have a problem with that, hmm?’ He prowled towards her, making her back up till she had her back to the wall.
‘I guess not, if you keep feeding me and giving me orgasms.’ She shrugged as Loki pressed against her with his body, trapping her.
‘I’m sure I can manage that.’ He chuckled and kissed her.
That evening after eating dinner, they snuggled up on the sofa with Emilia on Loki’s lap and watched a film. He didn’t initiate sex with her, he just wanting to comfort her. She was too sleepy for anything that would use up energy anyway, so she was glad for just a relaxed night too with lots of cuddles and affection.
-
On Saturday, Loki had more work to mark so he went back through to his place to do some work in his spare room, which he called his study. Though Emilia always teased him that it was just a spare room, nothing fancy.
He was a few hours in when he heard his door opening, he smirked, knowing it was obviously Emilia.
She walked in a little sheepishly when she found where he was. He saw she had obviously been crying, he turned to her and opened his arms out to her. ‘Come here, kitten.’
She rushed straight over to him and crawled onto his lap, straddling over him. He held her tight and rubbed her back softly as he kissed the top of her head repeatedly.
‘It’s alright, my sweet kitten. It’s all going to be alright.’
They stayed like that for a little while, hugging while he comforted her.
‘I unfortunately do need to do some work… But I get the feeling you need distraction too. So, why don’t you be a good girl and take off your leggings and panties, hmm?’ He said in such a seductive tone that Emilia didn’t know how she didn’t cum on the spot.
She slipped off his lap and did as she was told, while Loki unbuckled his belt and put it neatly to the side on his desk, then he unzipped his trousers and pulled his cock out, stroking a few times till he was nice and hard.
Emilia’s mouth watered a bit when she eyed him up, but Loki turned to her and pulled her to stand closer. He pushed his hand between her thighs, making her part them a bit more for his access, and his long fingers began prodding around her sweet cunt, lightly stroking over her lips and dipping in slightly when she started getting more aroused.
‘Mmm, so easily aroused for me. Such a good girl.’ He purred as he slipped a finger up into her. He pulled his finger out after she moaned, and slid it up over her clit a few times, then pulled away. Making her whine in disappointment.
‘Come on, get on my cock.’ He patted his thigh again and helped her onto him, she gasped out loud as she straddled him and sank down onto his cock, his hands were firm on her hips to pull her down, not letting her ease up or take time to adjust as he filled her entirely.
‘Ohhh, yes. Suck a lovely cockwarmer.’ He growled and his cock twitched inside her, making her mewl in delight.
She was about to start moving on him, but he swiftly smacked her bum.
‘Did I say you could move, kitten? Hmm?’
‘N… No… Sorry, Sir.’ She trembled, slightly surprised at the telling off. But it aroused her to no end.
‘You do as you’re told and keep still. Your job is to keep my cock warm while I mark this work. Can I trust you to do that without any trouble? Hmm?’ He asked as he gripped her chin roughly, making her look at him.
‘Y… Yes, Sir.’ She whimpered.
Loki pressed a kiss to her lips, gave her some praise and then tucked her head to his shoulder so he could shift the chair closer to the table again, the movement making her moan. He smirked cockily as he picked up his pen and continued doing his work with her draped around and on him.
But her hands began to wander at the base of his neck, then through his hair and she tugged lightly a few times. Deliberately trying to get a reaction out of him.
And hell, she got a reaction. But not what she had been hoping for. Her wrists were swiftly grabbed and tugged behind her back, where he used his belt to tie them together at her lower back.
‘Sir, that’s not fair.’ She whined and pouted, she tried bouncing a bit on him. But that earned her a really hard smack to the bum, almost making her jump off him entirely.
‘FUCK!’ She yelped out, of course that caused her to get yet another smack.
‘SIR!’ She snarled at him.
‘I said, behave. No more whining.’ Loki said firmly, squeezing her cheeks together roughly as he gripped her face.
‘But how am I supposed to just sit here on your cock? It’s not fair!’ She whined again, even with her cheeks squished together.
‘I warned you, no more whining.’ He released her cheeks and opened the top drawer of his desk, she tried wriggling again, but he clamped his other arm firmly around her and dug his fingers in, making her halt her movements.
Her eyes widened when he pulled out a ball gag.
‘Do you always keep weird things in your drawers?’ She smirked as he brought the gag up to her face.
‘Always for emergencies when my kitten is being a brat.’ He smirked and narrowed his eyes at her, then pressed the gag to her mouth. ‘Open.’
She shook her head defiantly and kept her lips tightly shut.
Loki wasn’t going to let her get away with it that easily. He used full force of his swing and smacked her ass again, making her howl in agony. And it had the desired outcome as she opened her mouth so he could shove the ball gag in place. Then he tied it behind her head, making sure not to catch her hair in it.
She snarled at him through the gag, only making him laugh in amusement.
‘I will have obedience from you, kitten. Whether I have to forcefully take it or not.’ He growled and thrust his hips up, making his cock nudge deeper into her. Her eyes rolled back and her forehead fell against his shoulder.
In the position they were in, he was incredibly deep inside her, it felt far too good. But it was also SO torturous as she wasn’t allowed to move.
‘Now, you will sit silently and cockwarm me as I work.’ He said firmly and kept an arm clamped tightly around her waist, keeping her lodged down on him.
Whenever she attempted very slight movements, grinding down against him or squeezing her inner muscles, she would get a very sore swat to the backside. So she soon learned and just whimpered through the gag against his shoulder.
It was absolute torture, and he kept her like that for best part of an hour, until he was finished with his marking.
Then he leaned back and tilted her face up, she was drooling from the gag, such an erotic sight that she actually felt him harden even more within her, making him feel deeper than ever, if that was even possible.
‘Oh, kitten. Such a pretty sight, all frustrated and just desperate for some movement.’ He cooed and traced his fingers lightly over her features on her face, her skin tingled at his touch.
‘Do you want to cum?’
She nodded desperately, eyes pleading with him.
‘I supposed I could allow it.’ He twitched within her, making her tremble.
He held her hips firmly and began moving her around on his cock, still keeping deep so she could feel that really deep pressure building up. His pubic hair was scratching against her exposed clit, sending her hurtling towards the edge she craved.
And it didn’t take much for either of them. As soon as she started cumming on his cock, he came too and filled her up.
Loki panted hard and bit down on her shoulder, while she shuddered on his lap and was extremely sensitive. When he’d cum, he didn’t pull out though. She did feel him go slightly soft inside her, but he remained there.
‘Ohhh, kitten. So wonderful you are.’ He took the ball gag out of her mouth, she breathed in deeply, glad it was out. Her jaw was a little bit achey as she had never had anything in it for that long before.
Loki reached up and gently massaged her jaw. ‘Sore?’
‘Just a little.’ She shrugged and placed her head on his shoulder again.
She could already feel him growing a little harder inside her again, her walls fluttering around him in the aftermath of her orgasm helping him along.
‘Thank you.’ She whispered and nibbled on his shoulder. ‘For distracting me.’
‘Any time, kitten.’ He smoothed his hand up and down her back softly, just enjoying the moment of peace with her. While they were still joined in the most intimate place.
‘I… I thought I would be ok. Normally I am… Though sometimes I stay with Sky for a few days. But I think each year it gets harder, not easier. I don’t know why. But I just, let my mind get the better of me when I’m alone it seems.’ She opened up to him.
‘It’s bound to be a difficult time, darling… You know you can just stay here for the rest of the weekend, you don’t need to come and go. Unless that’s what you prefer. It’s entirely up to you.’ Loki said softly.
‘I’d like that.’ She smiled against him. Then she leaned back a little to look at him, her forehead was all sweaty and so was his.
‘I uhm… I always go lay fresh flowers on their graves. Would you… Would you come with me tonight?’ She asked, feeling a little shy about asking that for some reason.
But Loki smiled and tucked her hair behind her ear. ‘Of course I will.’
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