#I don’t handle things well but I make aj effort to try to do better. I do

[hanoella]

Affettuoso- With Feeling (Part 4)

Pairing: Bucky x Pianist!Reader

Set after the events of TFATWS: In an effort to start over and make a home in Louisiana, Bucky meets a friend of Sam’s who ends up being his landlord. With only a driveway to separate them, he finds that he’s not the only one looking for a fresh start.

Series tags/warnings: Slow Burn, Eventual Bucky x Reader, Mentions of Domestic Abuse, Canon Level Violence

Part 4 Word Count: 2.9k

A/N: Thanks again for all your support! Every heart and comment motivates me and is just so wonderful

Taglist!: @vicmc624

Read Part 1; Masterlist

The icon that marked where you were currently typing in your text blinked as you bit your lip. Looking back from where you were sitting at the kitchen table, you took stock of the open pantry once again. You were low on just about everything. With physical therapy exhausting your shoulder, it was hard to find the energy to lift any heavy bags. You had texted Sam for help, but unfortunately he was out of state.

“Bucky’s home, just ask him to go with you. He won’t mind” He had texted back.

You slouched back into the chair and groaned. You had only seen him in passing since he had helped you with the furniture. What was he, your live-in-caretaker? Was he just there to help you up and down the stairs and help you across the street? Sliding onto the floor, you made a small grunt as you felt your back straighten out and adjust to the floor. Resting a moment, you held your phone up and stared at the blinking bar. You hadn’t texted him before. Should you just call him? Or knock on his door? Ugh, why was this so hard. Whatever.

“Hey Bucky, I’m having trouble carrying stuff right now. Would you mind helping me out with grocery shopping sometime today or tomorrow? If not, no worries.”

Without a second thought, you sent it and set your phone down next to you. It was around 1PM, the only thing you having done up until then was getting dressed while sipping on coffee. Opting for a lazy look, you had worn soft leggings with an oversized sweater and fuzzy socks. Two simple braids and a headband kept your hair out of the way for when you eventually practiced. Only a few more weeks until you practiced with the actual orchestra. You should probably figure out something to wear besides lounge clothes.

The buzz on the floor caught your attention and you took a peak at your home screen

1 New Message:

Bucky Barnes: Sure, is now good?

Shoot. You quickly got up and walked to the bathroom. Your hair wasn’t too messy. Why do you look so tired? Opting for some mascara, you texted Bucky back before digging around in your makeup bag.

Yeah, meet at my car in a minute?

---

Bucky pocketed his phone and took a quick look in the mirror. Should he shave? Scratching his beard, he made a face before deciding against. It would take him more than a minute. Why didn’t he just say thirty minutes from now? Running a hand through his hair, he grabbed a jacket and walked out of the apartment.

As he walked over the freshly fallen leaves in the driveway, he opted for leaning against your car. He shoved his hands in his pockets and turned his head to look out over the water. It had been quiet lately, just chilly enough to silence the summer chorus of buzzing and croaks. Now all that was left was the occasional honking of geese flying overhead.

He had only been there for a couple of minutes when you came out onto the porch. You had hastily thrown on some brown leather boots, the left one still untied. The little bit of mascara and lip gloss you put on made you feel better about not looking like death. It was nice to do a little something, even if it was just the grocery store.

“Hey!” you said, slightly breathless as you bounded down the stairs, keys jingling in your hand.

Bucky echoed your greeting back to you with a small smile and wave.

“Sorry to keep you waiting.” You said, clicking the key fob to unlock the car.

“Oh it’s no problem. I didn’t really have much to do anyway.” He said, ducking his head to sit in the passenger side seat. He noticed how as soon as you closed the door, you clicked the locks shut. Then you brought your left heel up on the edge of the seat so that you could tie your shoe.

“Thanks so much. I really appreciate it. Usually, I don’t need too much help, but I need cases of waters and stuff like that. I was gonna get someone to help me at the grocery store but I realized I’d still be left in a lurch once I got home. I figured if you needed, we could just get groceries together this time,” you explained while double knotting the laces.

Starting the car and putting on your seatbelt, you looked behind you out of habit to make sure you weren’t going to hit anything as you backed out of the driveway.

“Huh. It looks like it’s going to rain.” You said, observing the darker clouds and the wind picking up. Putting the car in drive, you started down the driveway.

“Music?” You offered, gesturing towards the radio.

“I don’t really know what’s been playing these days… or for the last sixty years if I’m being honest.” At least it’s nice not to have to lie about it, Bucky thought.

“Well, we have a lot to catch you up on then.” You said, stopping at the end of the driveway and grabbing your phone. Scrolling through your music, you hit the bluetooth button on the console.

“This playlist has all my favorite classics on it. Feel free to skip anything you don’t like.” You said, handing him the phone and turning onto the road. The music started, prompting Bucky looked down at the phone. September- Earth, Wind & Fire.

---

Four songs later you were at the supermarket, grabbing a cart and discussing favorites.

“That last one was good too. Which one was that?” Bucky asked.

“That’s Stolen Away on 55th & 3rd. Dave Matthews Band. Now mind you, some of those are way older than others. The only thing they all have in common is that they’re all at least ten years old.”

“Huh.” He’s really missed out on a lot.

The two of you continued chatting as you went through the various sections. A couple cases of water. A bag of salad. Deli meats and cheeses. Bread. Ground beef. Pasta and pasta sauce. The topic turned to older music from Bucky’s time.

“I’m surprised you have heard of her.” He said, raising his eyebrows in surprise.

“Well, I’m going to be honest, the only reason I have any knowledge of it at all is because I had to take a lot of Music History classes in college. For whatever reason, they thought that to play music, you needed to know every which way that it’s evolved throughout the years. Though, I have to say,” you paused, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “Now, I’m kind of glad I did.” You looked up at him slightly, face just a tad warm as he met your eyes. You both looked away and he coughed awkwardly. Feeling embarrassed, you scan the shelves of snacks before hearing him quietly say behind you-

“… I’m glad you did too. It’s different. And kind of nice to talk to someone about it. Who actually knows what I’m talking about.”

Trying to keep your smile small, you continued to look at the array of cookies on the shelf. A hand passed over your shoulder to take a pack of shortbread cookies.

“Hmm. Shortbreads.” You say, holding your arms behind your back. “Verrry interesting.”

“What?” He replied defensively.

“You can tell a lottttt about a man by his snack preferences.”

“Well, what do shortbreads say?” Bucky asked, leaning his forearms on the handle of the cart so that he was now eye level with you. It was too late this time to hide your smile. You turned back around to grab a pack of oatmeal chocolate chip cookies.

“If I tell you what they mean, you’ll just pick the kind that you think has the best traits. You’re not fooling me anytime soon.” You said with a laugh before you whisked yourself around the corner.

“Hey, that’s not fair, come back!” He pushed the cart around the corner where he ran into you hugging Sarah. The boys were with her and they went absolutely ballistic.

“Uncle Buck! Uncle Buck!” They shouted as they bombarded him.

“AJ! Cass! Stop acting crazy in the grocery store!” Sarah said, reprimanding them. You chuckled at the sight of Bucky being slowly overwhelmed by the two boys. He pried them off his legs and crouched so that he was eye level with them.

“Hey, I missed you guys. I haven’t seen you guys since the last time Uncle Sam and I came back-”

“-from fighting bad guys, right!” AJ said, getting a little too excited and causing Sarah to give him the look. Bucky tried not to laugh and held a finger up to his mouth to signal that they needed to be quiet.

“Yes, from fighting bad guys.”

You turned towards Sarah with a grin and put your hand on her arm.

“We’ll have to have all of you over, come see the new house. Will you text me a day next week when you, Sam, and the kids are free?”

“That sounds great. I’m so glad you got to move down here. I’ll let you know about next week!” Sarah said. She also walked around the cart and gave Bucky a hug. He returned it but glanced towards you nervously; You were already looking away. When they pulled away from each other, Sarah glanced in your direction and then at Bucky, a knowing smile on her face and eyebrows wiggling. Bucky made a face with wide eyes, letting her know to cut it out. Sarah laughed slightly while saying goodbye:

“It was good to see you, Buck.” Sarah said, laughing as she rolled the cart away, AJ and Cass in tow, who were both shouting goodbyes at Uncle Buck.

“Good to see you too…” He trailed off in her direction.

“Man, those boys really love Uncle Buck.” You said teasingly, making him jump slightly and turn around. You laughed and walked towards the next aisle, leaving Bucky red in the ears.

---

It was just starting to rain when you parked the car in the driveway. You grabbed some of the lighter bags and ran up the steps, hurrying to unlock the door. Bucky was piling on the grocery bags as the rain got heavier. He hauled everything inside as you held the door open for him. He lifted the groceries up onto the kitchen counter and made his way down the stairs again.

“Still have to get the cases of water.” He explained in response to your confused face. The rain was still getting heavier. Hauling the two jumbo cases onto his shoulder and carrying the last one by the plastic in his hand, he made his way up the porch, slower this time. You held the door open, looking incredulously again at how easy it was for him as he passed.

By the time he had set the waters down, you had grabbed a towel for him, extending it to him while looking away at from his drenched shirt.

“Thanks,” he said, toeing off his shoes and drying his hair with the towel before draping it over his shoulders.

“Please, let me make you some tea. You must be freezing.” You said, already digging through the pantry for some.

“Well, if you’re offering, I won’t say no.” He said, taking a seat at the kitchen island.

“Yeah, hold on, it’s kind of dark. Let me turn on the lights…” You trailed off as the light switch did nothing. Flicking it a few times back and forth, you sighed.

“I’m so sorry, the real estate agent told me it’s pretty easy to lose power in this area since there’s so many trees. They usually have it back on pretty quick though I’m told.” You said, now digging through another cabinet.

“It’s completely fine, you can’t control that. I’ll just take a raincheck-”

“Found it!” You said, cutting him off and proudly presenting the gas-powered single burner. You set it down in front of Bucky who watched as you also grabbed a tea light and a lighter from in the drawer.

“Would you like to stay for dinner?” You asked while lighting it.

---

Three more tea lights and a kettle of hot water later, Bucky was sitting with the towel draped over his shoulders, sipping on the warm cup of green tea. The flames created flickering shadows as you added the pasta to the pot of boiling water.

“I knew this was going to come in handy. I’m glad I saved it.” You said, setting a timer on your phone as you leaned on the counter across from Bucky.

“Why do you have it in the first place?” He asked curiously.

“I kind of had to hop around for a little bit before I got down here. I would stay in hotels but I didn’t want to eat out every night so this came in handy. Ole reliable.” You said, looking down at one of the tea lights.

There was a moment of silence before you pursed your lips.

“What’s wrong?” Bucky asked, setting the cup down.

“Has Sam told you… how I ended up here?” You asked, now looking straight at him. The look on his face told you the answer before he could respond.

“I see…”

“Hey, I’m sorry, I-”

You held up a hand to cut him off, soft smile on your face.

“No, it’s okay. I told him that if it ever came up, he could talk about it. I’m pretty open about it. How much did he tell you?” you asked, wrapping your hands around the cup to absorb some of the warmth.

“Just the basics. You two were together, then he got… violent. And you trying to leave.” He said, looking down into his cup.

“Yeah, that just about covers it… He kept following me after I got out of the hospital so I had to get a rental car and hotel hop for a while… When I got the house down here, I finally got my actual car and just booked it here. He’s never been to Louisiana before and he doesn’t know that Sam lives here now, instead of DC. I’m hoping he’s frolicking in city traffic, getting run over as he looks for me. Bucky snorted and tried not to laugh, which made you laugh.

“Sorry, it’s not funny.” He said, covering his mouth.

“Oh, it totally is.” You said, talking in a way where he could tell that you were smiling.

You both laughed as you grabbed a strainer out of the pantry. Draining the pasta, you both settled into a comfortable silence.

“Well, I’m glad you can joke about it.” Bucky said, watching as you poured pasta sauce into the pot to warm it up before chucking the rest of the pasta in.

“Some days are better than others. I’m just happy that I can stop running. Still, I do get a bit paranoid sometimes. I feel like I’m going to turn a corner and he’ll be right there.” You said, rubbing your arms as if you were comforting yourself. At that moment, Bucky looked at you and noticed for the first time how truly tired you looked. Dark circles underneath a sleep deprived gaze. Eyes clouded by worry and paranoia. Bucky’s seen that look on himself before. Before Steve found him in Bucharest, before he could trust his own mind. When he had to avoid being recognized, avoid being found, avoid falling back into Hydra’s grasp.

You exhaled as you uncrossed your arms, mixing the pot before sprinkling cheese on top. “Dinner’s all done.” Bucky sat peacefully, enjoying the aroma of the tomato and basil. Taking a deep breath, he slowly exhaled before speaking up again.

“Well. I’m here now.”

“Hmm?” You called back, not quite hearing him over the clanking of the bowls you took out.

“I’m here now,” he repeated, this time with more confidence. “So… you don’t have to worry about it. If you ever get worried about it, just call me. Or text me… Or knock on the door… and I’ll talk to you or I’ll check it out, keep an eye on the house from the apartment, or just be in the house with you. It’s not a bother, if it’ll give you peace of mind. I’ve been through something… similar. With, uh, the whole Hydra… thing…” Bucky trailed off as you stared at him with a neutral face. He was getting ready to backpedal, hand reaching for the back of his neck out of nervous habit, until you spoke.

“You’d do that?” You said, face unchanged, eyes searching his.

“Yeah… Yeah, I would.”

You blinked a few times before looking aside and trying to clear the frog from your throat.

“I don’t even know what to say but thank you. That is such a big relief.” You said, voice wavering slightly, one hand coming up to touch your forehead out of relief. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Nobody should have to go through that alone.” Bucky said softly.

You touched his hand softly, giving it a gentle squeeze before stealing your own back. You turned around to grab a drink when you paused, looking out the window.

“It stopped raining.” You stated, watching as the little bit of sunlight brightened the colors of the changing leaves. Bucky, on the other hand, was watching how the little bit of sunlight brightened you. He rubbed his thumb against where your hand had just been, trying to recreate the feeling of your hand on his.

#bucky x y/n #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x female reader #bucky barnes fic #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky imagine

[thedragonemperess]

What's your personal opinion on why Elite Force was so bad? Since I've ranted about that a lot and started the 'elite discourse' tag.

Introduction

I don’t think it was really bad. Yes, it was terrible compared to Lab Rats and Mighty Med (of which both deserved more seasons since they both set up so much and than threw it all away), but it wasn’t too bad. Why it was bad, though? They undid all character development, overlooked some of the best characters, and so much more!

Chase

There’s a lot wrong with Chase. First of all, they undid all of his character development and reduced him to a self-centered smart guy. (I’m not gonna say a mini version of Donald because he’s really more like Douglas, but they really just threw away his character.) And for character archs. When AJ made his list, he put Chase at the bottom. A good thing to point out is that this list was based off of the number of powers each person has and the number of powers each person has alone. So lets count how many powers they all have:

Kaz: Pyrokinesis and Flight Oliver: Cryokinesis, Flight, and Super Strength Bree: Super Speed, Vocal Manipulation, Invisibility, and Super Agillity Chase: Molecular Kinesis, Force Fields, Super Intelligence, Super Senses, Laser Bo Generation, and the Commando App (technically Super Strength as well, but that’s only Spike) Skylar: Flight, Super Strength, Super Speed, Acid Spit, Regeneration, and 21 other abilities (10 after the whole thing with Bree, but that still leaves her with the most) CHASE SHOULD BE #2 ON THAT LIST!!

And even if this wasn’t based on only their powers, he’d still be at #2!!

Then we have the Arcturian. The Arcturian Space Rock will kill you if you make direct contact with it, key word being direct. So Bree, being NUMBER #3 on the list (did I mention they overlooked her abilities, too, with the exception of one throw away line?), decided to touch it. After a series of events, she gets superpowers from it.

Bree got superpowers.

Because she was insecure about her bionic powers.

THIS WAS CHASE’S ENTIRE ARCH FROM THE BEGINNING!

And he wasn’t only insecure about his powers, he was insecure about his appearance, self-worth, and a ton of other things.

This arch was engineered for Chase, and they threw it away in favor of Bree.

Skoliver

Skylar and Oliver was the main romance of Mighty Med. Oliver had a crush on Skylar and Skylar was a lesbian didn’t reciprocate. This didn’t stop Oliver from trying to get with her, though. But the difference between Oliver persevering in Mighty Med and Olvier persevering in Elite Force is that in Mighty Med, he did it in a healthy, respectful way. In Elite Force, he became a stalker!

He watched her in her sleep, recorded her without permission, had a pretend version of her that he was dating, and more.

They turned a really nice thing from Mighty Med into something terrible just so that they could put less time into coming up with actual jokes. (The writers of these shows never really handled healthy relationships and comedy well, if Adam and Chase’s relationship says anything, but you would think [I’m only saying this because its Disney] they would put more effort into a romantic relationship.) The worst part about this is that they got together somewhat in the end of Elite Force.

Reese

Reese existed as a way to lead us to the finale of the show. She also existed as a love interest for Chase. She had the potential to be Elite Force’s Marcus or Experion, but they just didn’t do it right.

The Lab Rats’ relationship with Marcus was built over the course of two seasons, which let both the audience and the characters get to know him. Sure, we knew he was evil before everyone else, but how evil he truly was changed up until Douglas’ plan was finally revealed. He was also really close to a lot of the characters, so that makes it really painful.

Experion was one of Skylar’s close friends, almost like a brother, and we saw that play out on screen. He was only there for a short amount of time, just as Reese was, but he was already in a predetermined relationship with him. Reese had literally only met Chase that day, meaning that connection just wasn’t there.

(Also, was Reese just there to degay Chase? Because that’s what it seems like.)

Representation And Other Things Of The Sort

Lab Rats was a show that had a family in which half of it was married into. Shows have done this before, yes, but this showed the kids really just excepting it and not getting mad at their respective family. This was also a mixed family, which watching now that I’m older and really understand the importance of it, is really nice. Especially as a mixed person myself.

As for Mighty Med, and I’m starting with family again, it had a father figure who, more or less, actually cared about his kid(s) and was active in their life. It also showed him, a person of color, in a position of power. Skylar, who is a woman of color, was a badass who wasn’t boy crazy. She didn’t care about boys and the one time she did chase after someone, it was an introverted girl whom she wanted to be friends with which is pretty gay but whatever Disney. She was pretty freaking powerful, too, even without her powers.

Now for Oliver and Kaz, they were geeks. That’s a recurring fact in the show. It’s also something that is constantly saving all of their butts and was the main thing that got them their jobs. They weren’t picked on or made fun of for it, that was just who they were.

And unlike Lab Rats, Mighty Med showed a healthy relationship between brothers. Additionally, Gus was a really weird kid, but no one ever made fun of him, either. They treated him like they treated everyone else. He even ends up as one of the popular kids a few times.

Elite Force really just threw that all away in favor of (what became) a bunch of bratty kids in a pent house together.

Backstory

Mighty Med ended off on a cliffhanger, with Mr. Terror escaping, Oliver and Kaz obtaining superpowers, Alan meeting his father for the first time, and Horace using his last revival. Not to mention, Mr. Terror is Oliver’s mother and was supposed to be Horace’s wife.

And then they completely forgot about all of that and destroyed Mighty Med, killing all of the people in it in the process while also forgetting about Mr. Terror completely?

As for Lab Rats’ ending, it was actually pretty fitting and satisfying, all things considered. Adam, Bree, Leo, and Chase split up after defeating Giselle, Adam and Leo going back to the island to help the students with the big change (an update that let them control their abilities, hence no need for them to be teachers anymore) while Bree and Chase joined the Elite Force.

But why Chase and Bree? Sure, I guess the fandom Chase, but we did care about Leo more than Bree if we’re looking at it from that stand point. Now if we’re looking at it from a logical, in-universe stand-point, it makes no sense. Bree and Chase were the smarter, more experienced of the four, so they should have gone back to the island, while letting Chase and Adam join the Elite force.

Also, Leo has just become a mentor, which was what he was striving for since the start of the season. He was always being overlooked, and now, when he finally gets his moment in the spot light, its taken away from. That just really bothers me.

What Was Good About Lab Rats: Elite Force?

Quite honestly, not a lot. But considering the target audience, it was pretty good. Having two well received shows come together into an, albeit poorly set up and attempted, spin-off where they can have their own battles and story lines together is pretty cool and different. There are some flaws, like how Mighty Med logic and Lab Rats logic really don’t intertwine, but you have to keep in mind that this is a kids show.

It also showed Douglas being a pretty good father, which is really nice. Sure, he’s their birth father and/or creator, but it also shows them mending their relationship.

There were some smaller things, too. AJ’s introduction, Skylar and Bree slowly become sisters, and Chase and Kaz becoming friends were all really fun to watch. (The characters growing relationships with each other, period, were fun to watch.) The villains had good motives, and the small cameos from other shows (Bob and Crossbow [she’s more of a piece of what Mighty Med used to be, but I’m counting it]) were really fun to see. The plot could definitely be better, but it was still pretty good. And, as much as I hate to admit it, the show was genuinely funny. The amount of times I’ve spit out my water while watching this show is surprising.

Conclusion

Was Lab Rats: Elite Force as great a show as the source material? No. Was it all we thought it would be at the time? That depends on how old you were when it came out. It was, and still is, a fun show to watch, though. Yes, it would have been better if it never happened and the shows continued separately, but I’m glad that we at least have an answer to what Mighty Med and Lab Rats alluded to in their finales. Am I upset about Elite Force’s finale? Yes, and I will probably die mad about it, but we didn’t have as much time to get to know the characters and connect to them, so is it really that much of a loss? That’s up to you. Is it a fun show to watch? Absolutely.

#long post #very long post #long post tw #long post tag #lab rats #lab rats bionic island #mighty med #lab rats elite force #lr #lrbi #mm #lref #lrmmlref stuff #answering asks #fave

[queen-scribbles]

You Know Me Well

(27. Unkempt for @31daysofwayhaven)

Now with art!

---

By the third time Abigail glanced out the station’s front window, she’d dropped any pretense of being subtle.

As had Tina, who was blatantly grinning at her when she looked back over. “Hot date?”

Abigail chuckled quietly. “By my standards, yeah. Not sure you’d count it th’ same,” she teased. 

“I am who I am,” Tina laughed. “And you are who you are. Which, in this case, is absolutely smitten.”

Abigail smiled as she shrugged and made no effort to deny it. She didn’t quite have the heart to clarify her “hot date” was with a book; Nate was just coming by to walk her home.

“Hey, I would be, too, if my boyfriend looked like that,” Tina said, nudging Abigail with her elbow. “No judgment here. I can finish this paperwork on my own if you’d rather wait outside for him.”

“I don’t mind-” Abigail started to protest.

“And neither do I, or I wouldn’t have offered,” Tina grinned. “It’s not exactly like we’re swamped tonight; I’ll have plenty of time, and your shift is just about done.” Her grin widened into something almost Cheshire. “Besides, you’re so distracted checking for Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome every ten seconds, I may as well be doing it on my own.”

Abigail’s face warmed at the friendly needling. “Sorry. This is th’ first chance we gotten t’ spend time together since makin’ it official. Aside from the carnival,” she amended, smile pulling her lips as she twisted one finger in a lock of hair and tugged it slightly. “I may be just a bit excited, yeah?”

“Oh, just a bit?” Tina teased, then made a shooing motion toward the front door.  “Far be it from me to stand in the way of romance. Go await your Prince Charming, Detective Jenings. I can handle this.”

Abigail only wavered another second before taking her up on it. “Thanks, Tina.”

“Don’t mention it,” Tina winked. “I know you’d do the same for me.”

“Anytime,” Abigail said, and she meant it. “You can keep workin’ in here if y’want,” she offered as she turned off her computer. “I think I can trust ya with my desk.”

“At least more than whoever’s responsible for that,” Tina said with a smirk. She nodded at the still-duct-taped corner and it was all Abigail could do to bite back a laugh.

“I would hope,” was all she said. “See you tomorrow, then.”

“Night, AJ,” Tina said, fluttering one hand in a goodbye wave.

“Night.” She debated gathering her hair back in a ponytail as she headed for the door. It looked breezy, no point in letting her hair get messier than it had to. But she found herself, for once, without a hair band around her wrist and had to settle for hoping it wouldn’t be too windy.

Sure enough, a late spring breeze bustled down the street just as she stepped outside and sent a shiver up her spine. My one problem with spring, she thought wryly. I never remember how much it cools in the evening. The blouse she’d selected this morning had been fine then, even without her typical waistcoat, but now proved... a bit lacking. Once the breeze passed, however, it was tolerable, and she leaned back against the sun-warmed brick of the station wall to wait for Nate.

She hadn’t been there more than a few minutes before he came into view, hands shoved in the pockets of his jacket and a smile catching his lips when he saw her.

“Hello, Abigail,” he greeted her warmly, and there was an entire sonnet just in how he said her name. “Apologies if I’m late.”

“Nah,” she assured him with a bashful smile, pushing away from the wall. “Tina shooed me out early ‘cause I was too distracted t’ be any help. Three guesses why.” 

“I would like to hope I only need one,” Nate said with a laugh, slipping his hand out of one pocket to reach for hers.

Abigail laced her fingers with his and didn’t even try to hold back her grin. “Yeah, me, too.You know me well.”

His brow furrowed slightly and he pulled her closer. “Are you warm enough? Your hands are chilly.”

“I’ll be fine,” she said, hoping she was right. “It’s just th’ breeze, yeah? While we’re walkin’ shouldn’t be a problem.”

“Alright, I’ll trust your judgment, AJ.” A long smile curved Nate’s lips. “Just let me know if you need help warming up.” His tone was innocent, but there was mischief sparkling in his eyes that had a flush spreading over her face.

“I-I’ll do that,” she squeaked, ducking her head as she scuffed one boot against the sidewalk.

“Sorry, was that too forward?” He gave a quiet, apologetic laugh as they started walking.

“Y’did almost sound like Mason there for a moment,” Abigail teased, then giggled when he grimaced. “I didn’t mind, I’m just still not used to it, yeah?” She tilted her head back so she could meet his eyes, her face still warm. “Havin’ someone who’ll say that sorta thing t’ me.”

“Ah.” Nate smiled and squeezed her hand. “I never mean to make you uncomfortable, AJ.”

“And ya don’t,” she promised. She kicked a pebble and watched it skitter into the street. “Ever. I’m just... still adjustin’.”

“Noted. I shall keep that in mind and ration those statements accordingly,” he said with a chuckle.

“Grand,” she managed around the butterflies in her chest, and they lapsed into a comfortable silence as they walked.

By the time they reached the edge of the woods, sunset was painting the sky in earnest and Abigail was definitely regretting not having a jacket. Another breeze skittered by and sent a shiver dancing up her spine as it tousled her hair, her grip reflexively tightening around Nate’s hand.

“AJ.” He tugged her to a halt, then slipped his hand free of hers so he could shrug off his jacket and hold it out toward her. “You look cold.”

She hesitated, despite the goosebumps prickling up her arms. “Maybe a bit, yeah.”

“Well, then.” He wrapped the jacket around her shoulders.

Abigail bit her lip as she slipped her arms into the sleeves. It was much too big, of course, the sleeves coming practically to her fingertips and the hem to mid-thigh. But it was comfortable, and soft, and warm. And it smelled like him, a realization that was hardly surprising but still had her eyes fluttering briefly closed when it struck.

Nate chuckled and took her hand again, his fingers warm as they wrapped around hers. “Better?”

“Much, thanks.” Abigail looked up to flash a shy smile. “Are you gonna be alright?”

“I’ll manage,” he said with a smile. “I am wearing other layers, after all.”

“Yeah, but...” She instinctively pressed close at another, stronger breeze, even if she was well-ensconced against the chill. “I hate for you t’ be the one payin’ for me gettin’ tricked by the warm mornin’ an’ not grabbin’ a jacket-”

He leaned down and kissed her forehead. “I’ll be fine, AJ. I promise.”

In the spirit of fairness, there was really only one answer she could give. “Alright, then.” He’d trusted her on this score, she could return the favor. She still walked close enough for their arms to touch as they resumed course through the woods.

“How was your day?” Nate asked, slipping his free hand into his pocket.

“Oh, fine.” Abigail twirled a lock of hair around her finger. “Work was busy, but nothing excitin’.” She wrinkled her nose. “Lotsa paperwork. That sort of thing...” She let her hand fall, and the jacket sleeve almost completely covered it when it swung at her side. “How ‘bout you?”

“Pretty much the usual,” Nate said with a shrug. “Patrols, paperwork of my own”--he sidestepped closer to her avoiding a branch--”though I did spar with Adam for a bit.”

“Yeah?” Abigail arched a brow in surprise.

“His choice, not mine,” Nate laughed. “Mason and Felix were on patrol at the time and Adam was... not in the mood to wait.”

“And you’d never leave a friend in the lurch,” she finished with a smile. 

One he matched. “You know me well. It’s good to keep in practice, even if that’s not my preferred method for settling conflicts.”

“Almost wish I’d been there t’ watch.” The words tumbled out in a mutter before she could catch them at the mental image, and Abigail dropped her gaze to her boots as her face flushed to the ears. That wasn’t s’pposed to be out loud, you great ninny!

Nate laughed and squeezed her hand. “Your presence would have considerably lessened the sting of defeat,” he said lightly.

She couldn’t help a giggle, knowing he didn’t mind terribly that this particular area was not his forte. “Didja use books instead, since I wasn’t there?”

He laughed again, the sound warming her clean down to her toes. “You do know me well, Abigail.”

“That’s not a hard one,” she demurred, before glancing up. “But I hope I do. Know y’well, I mean.” She stumbled a little over a root and had to look down. “I surely want to.” It was almost more frank than she’d meant to be, and she left her gaze on her feet even after steadying herself.

“AJ.” Nate waited until she looked up. “There are few things that would please me more than us getting to know each other even better. As I mentioned, I want to learn everything about you.”

“Terribly unexcitin’ as that experience’ll be,” Abigail said, one side of her mouth tugging in a self-deprecating smirk.

“Oh, I disagree,” Nate countered warmly, and she couldn’t stop the smile that curved her lips, proud that she managed to hold his gaze this time. It did still take a couple tries to make her voice work.

 “You’re off to a grand start,” she finally murmured, a soft chuckle following the words. “An’ I wanna learn all about you, too, yeah?” She wrinkled her nose.  “Even if there is a good bit more for me t’ get through.”

Something hesitant flickered in Nate’s eyes, but it was gone just as fast, and his laugh was genuine. “All the more reason for us to spend as much time together as possible.” They both tensed as another breeze emphasized the growing evening chill. “Though perhaps somewhere more... sheltered,” he clarified with a smile.

Abigail laughed. “Sounds good t’ me.”

“So, what are your plans for the evening?” Nate asked as they stepped free of the woods and back onto the sidewalk.

“Extremely comfortable clothes an’ losin’ m’self in a book,” she replied promptly, then bit her lip and decided to gamble on asking. “Assumin’ you’re not free to stay for a while...?”

“I truly wish I could,” Nate said with a sigh. He ran his hand through his hair. “But there’s a meeting...”

“It’s fine,” Abigail reassured him, squeezing his hand. “Just figured it couldn’t hurt t’ ask.”

He nodded. “Knowing that’s something you want is... gratifying, even if our schedules don’t allow it,” he agreed. “So, this book. Something new, or an old favorite?”

“Old favorite,” she said, slowing her steps to stretch out the short remaining distance to her building. “With work so busy right now, I don’t have it in me t’ start somethin’ new, yeah?”

Nate laughed softly with a smile that said he knew what she was doing as he checked his stride even further to match hers. “I understand. You just want the comfort of something familiar, especially in your leisure time.”

“You know me well,” Abigail nodded in turn, rubbing her thumb over the back of his hand. “There’s so little of it right now,” she added with a rueful chuckle.  “Hafta be picky how I spend it.”

“In that case, I’m especially honored by your invitation and regretful I couldn’t accept it,” Nate said as they drew to a stop in from of her building.

“Eh, there’ll be other times,” she said. The breeze whipped loose red curls across her face as she looked up at him. “In theory, at least,” she added wryly, reaching up to try and tame the unkempt locks.

He laughed and their hands brushed as he reached to tuck the windblown hair behind her ear. “Hope does spring eternal.”

Abigail giggled, then bit her lip when his touch lingered against her cheek. “Still wish y’ could stay now,” she murmured, gaze locked with his.

“As do I,” Nate admitted softly.

She wasn’t sure which of them moved first; him leaning down or her pushing up on her toes, but the resulting kiss was wonderfully gentle and soft. Almost chaste. Her hands dug into his t-shirt for balance, and his fingers--carefully--slid into her hair.

His phone beeped in the same moment hers buzzed and they both let out frustrated groans as they broke apart.

“It’s probably a reminder about the meeting,” Nate said, not even bothering to look, his eyes still fixed on hers. “Adam knew of my plans” --he brushed a wayward curl from her forehead again-- “and likely worried I’d wind up distracted.” He traced his thumb along her lower lip and chuckled. “He’s not wrong...”

Abigail’s face warmed and she smiled. “Mine’s prob’ly Tina bein’ a busybody.” She raked a hand into her hair to hold it back from her face. “I’ll check inside.”

He nodded and brushed a soft kiss to her forehead. “Enjoy your book.”

“I will,” she said, even though she wasn’t sure how she’d be able to focus on it now. “Oh, wait!” She grabbed his arm as he started to leave. “Your jacket.” She shrugged it off to hand back, shoulders hunching against the abrupt temperature change. “Thanks again for lettin’ me borrow it.”

She left off how tempting it was to keep; warm and soft and smelling of him.

“You are most welcome,” Nate said as he slipped it back on. “And thank you for remembering.”

“‘Course.” Abigail nodded. “G’night, Nate.”

He smiled fondly. “Goodnight, AJ.” His gaze dropped to her lips and he leaned in for one last quick kiss before he headed off down the street.

Abigail sighed as she watched him go, catching the lingering scent of leather and cologne. The goosebumps prickling up her arms drove her inside before she was truly ready, but at least there was a good book waiting for her.

Even if it felt more than a little like a consolation prize now.

#queens fic #the wayhaven chronicles #abigail jenings #nate sewell #aj/nate #otp: smiling always #twc

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

with you [chapter four]

Summary: Clementine pops the question, Louis has nightmares, Violet can’t let go of the past, Mitch doesn’t know how to handle gross feelings, Ruby’s a goddamn sweetheart, Willy doesn’t ever remember to knock, Aasim can’t dance, and James is here, too.

Nothing like a wedding to bring this family together.

Note: tbh working on this story at night is the only thing holding my sanity together while I’m taking care of my grams. But also this chapter was a huge pain in the ass to fix and I’m 0.02 seconds away from punching a hole in the wall. But it’s fine because it’s finished and I ran all the way home just to quickly post this. 

Anyway, thank you for reading and your constant support. It truly means a lot to me. I hope you enjoy ch4. ❤️

Ch1 | Ch2 | Ch3 | Ch4

Read on: AO3

---

The page remains blank.

No matter how much Violet wills the pen to move on its own, to put all thoughts both known and unconscious to paper, it remains beside the open notebook. As outrageous as it sounds, a small part of her hopes one day the pen will magically come to life and solve all of her problems with its problem-solving ink. Then everything will be okay. 

Though she has a feeling the walkers will go extinct before her pen develops a sentient personality or therapeutic skills. 

And she’ll be dead by then, so it wouldn’t matter anyway. 

“It helps if you pick up the pen,” Aasim said, not bothering to look up from his own work. “Just saying.”

She knows even by his deadpan tone that he’s trying to joke with her, even if he’s not good at it. Laying bait for her to bite back with a sarcastic remark of her own. 

“But then I’d actually have to write something down.”

“Oh no,” Aasim smirks, paying her a brief glance. “Effort.”

That cracks a small smile out of her, and for a fleeting moment, they’re smiling at each other as if that’s a normal thing. It’s hard to maintain that connection, so damn hard, so Violet hides her smile from him by turning away to look towards the gates.

The very same gates that Clementine, AJ, and Rosie pass through. Back from patrol, if she overheard correctly. Even from a distance, Violet can see the delighted grin Clementine wears, a grin only matched by AJ’s. Far brighter than Violet’s. 

AJ hugs her tightly before breaking away and bolting towards Louis, James, and Tenn. Clementine remains, though, arms folded over her chest as she watches the group of boys with such fondness that it damn near makes Violet want to scream.

Shit, just…. Shit . 

“Hey,” Aasim reaches over, tapping on the blank page of her journal with his own worn-out pen to grab her attention. “Lucy had her babies this morning. Seven of them. Well, eight, but one of them didn’t make it.”

Violet tears her glare away from Clementine to instead glare at Aasim. 

“Who the hell is Lucy?”

“One of the pregnant rabbits, remember? Not the one that had babies last week, the other one.”

“We’re still naming them?” Violet asks. Aasim made it very clear that no names were to be used when they started up the rabbit farm by the greenhouse. 

“They’re food, not pets. No names. No attachments.” 

That didn’t last long.

“ I didn’t name her,” Aasim corrects. “Willy did, even though I’ve told him again and again not to. Now when it comes time for us to put Lucy down, he’s not going to talk to me for another two weeks, as if I’m the only one at fault. Remember Albert?”

“Ah, Prince Albert,” Violet nods. “He sure was delicious.”

Everyone agreed that the lovely Prince Albert was one of the handsomest rabbits they had with his snow white fur offset by brown feet and ears. They also agreed that he made one of the best rabbit stews Omar’s ever created. 

Including Willy. That is until Omar offered him one of Prince Albert’s lucky feet and Willy realized just who he had consumed. 

The boy didn’t speak to Aasim or Omar for a week, but Violet believes that he still carries around one of Prince Albert’s feet for good luck, despite everything. 

“Yeah, anyway, did you want to come with me to check on them? Ruby’s out there now. Maybe you could stay with her and help out?”

Violet scoffs. 

“Look, I’ll take your night shift, too,” Aasim adds. “That way you don’t spend all day out there and then have to do a night shift.” 

“I like having the night shift.”

“Every night?”

“Sure.”

“Well,” Aasim taps his pen against the table, thinking loudly to himself. “I’m giving you the night off anyway. Ruby would appreciate your company.”

Oh, would she, now…?

It’s not that Violet minds Ruby. She’s the only girl Violet has left to talk to at this place- the only girl she’s willing to talk to, actually. 

Violet would say that she enjoys evenings spent with Ruby… most of the time. 

The problem with talking to or spending time with Ruby is she’s a lot. Not in the same way Louis is, but more in an overbearing mother sort of way. Always asking her how she’s feeling, asking about her day, if there’s anything she can do to help Violet out or if she wants to do this or that. She’s far too pushy sometimes, especially when it comes to shit she doesn’t understand. 

“Clem’s tryin’, Vi.”

As if Ruby has all the answers to make her happy. She always makes it sound so damn easy. 

“Why can’t ya just talk to each other?”

The problem is that Ruby tries to take care of everyone so that she doesn’t have to think about how to make herself happy. Why focus on your problems when you can bury your pains and wishes beneath fairy tales and other people’s problems?

At least, that’s Violet’s assumption. 

Maybe Ruby is happy. 

Maybe Violet just wishes she wasn’t. 

Fucking hell. 

Just when she thought she couldn’t be any more fucked...

“My company or yours?” Violet mumbles, finally picking up her pen, putting it to paper. 

“What? My company- oh, I see.” Aasim rolls his eyes, dropping his pen in the book before shutting it. “Ha ha, very funny. I get it.”

Violet nearly rolls her eyes, too. Speaking of those who don’t bother with their own shit-

“I was thinking that it’d be good for you to go out there and help her, that’s all,” Aasim says, tucking his notebook under his arm and standing from the table. He means to walk away on that annoying note but hesitates. Then, lowering his voice to one of disquiet, he says, “I’m worried about you. So is everyone else.”

“I’m fine, Aasim.”

“...Right,” he sighs heavily. “Please go help Ruby with the rabbits. I’m only going to be there for a little bit before heading out to check the traps with Louis, and she could really use the help. Please?”

“Fine.”

Aasim lingers, shifting his weight as he gives her a chance to say something more, a chance she refuses. 

“Thank you.”

With that, he’s walking away, leaving her by herself to finish a doodle of a pen with curly hair and fire for eyes with a speech bubble. 

“Why are ya still here?”

---

“Is my neck supposed to feel this stiff?”

“Yes. It’s a sign of a good, unmoving model.”

“Well, good to hear that my career is off to a good start.”

Louis is still sitting there at the table, cracking jokes and trying his best not to move while James and Tenn draw. James points to various parts of Louis’ face before motioning to Tenn’s paper, something that brings a grin to Clementine’s face. 

“Don’t worry, Clem,” says AJ as he hugs her. “I won’t say anything. Can I go draw now?”

“Have fun, kiddo.”

She can safely leave AJ to catch up on art lessons with James. He promised her he wouldn’t breathe a word of this to anyone- even Tenn- until she had everything all planned out.

Now that Mitch has the measurements, the ring is- hopefully- being taken care of, so all that leaves is how she plans on doing this. Several lingering thoughts follow her as she spends most of the day helping around the school, doing usual repairs to the gate and their walls. 

She would’ve checked on Lucy and the other rabbits, but Aasim warned her that Violet was there with Ruby and Louis. She almost pushed him aside and went in anyway, but damn it, she knows better by this point. 

Instead, she and AJ help Omar clean out the fire pit and gather fresh wood, briefly considering letting him in on her intentions. Omar’s a trustworthy friend and while she appreciates his opinion, she decides against telling anyone else until she has the ring. She’s found that battling her eagerness to be growing more difficult with every passing day. 

So much so that she also considers asking about the progress on said ring when she finds Mitch and James near the library’s entrance, speaking in hushed whispers that she couldn’t make out. All talk stopped when she approached them, and began again when Mitch became snappy with her before dragging James away. 

Odd, and not boding well for her, but she firmly believes that if there were any issues she should know about, Mitch would tell her.

When the sky finally turns a lovely mixture of pink and orange, AJ gives her a hug goodnight before making his way over to Tenn’s room for another sleepover. 

Before retiring to her dorm for the night, Clementine pokes her head into the music room to find it empty. A slight disappointment falls over her as she hoped Louis would be up for some piano lessons, but that dissipates when she finds Louis kneeling on AJ’s desk with a roll of duct tape hanging from his mouth when she walks in, a stack of drawings placed beside him. He’s taping up one of the portraits of himself on the wall.

“Ey!” He waves at her before spitting the tape out. “Look at these!” He hops off the desk and points at the one he just hung up. “That’s the one James drew. Charming, isn’t it?”

The amount of detail in the portrait is startling, a fully shaded-in head portrait of Louis that seemingly stares right at her. Even the little details, like his freckles and the scar on his chin, are noticeable.

“It’s way weirder than I thought it’d be,” he says, “having someone stare and dissect every part of your face. Did you know I have a very angular jawline?” He tilts his head up to prove his point. “And James said I have a nice eye shape.”

“He did do you justice,” she says, still admiring the picture. “Very handsome.”

His chuckle comes out loud and anxious, not having expected her to say that. 

“Hah, yeah, except,” then Louis pushes his jacket back to place his hands on his hips, “uhm, do you think my nose is big?”

“What?”

“James said I have a wider nose. He drew it bigger than it actually is, right?”  

“You have a very cute nose.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

Clementine giggles. “Your nose is perfectly fine, Louis.”

He eyes the portrait, still uncertain, only to then gasp as if just remembering something. 

“Oh, wait though, ready for this?” He searches through the pile before plucking the one he wants out. “ This is the one Tenn drew.” He proudly holds it up.

She can’t say she’s not impressed. It’s nowhere near as proportional or advanced as James’, but Clementine can see the effort and charm within the lines. Definitely Tenn’s work.

“Wow,” Clementine smirks, nudging him. “I see it now. James is right, you do have a big nose.”

“ Hey ,” Louis reaches up and playfully pinches her nose, “big talk from little button nose over here.” Louis sticks Tenn’s portrait on the wall, next to James’. “There! We’re getting quite the art gallery.”

“One’s missing, though.” Clementine grabs Louis’ picture of Rosie off the desk and tapes it up with the others.

“Seriously?” he asks sheepishly.

“Oh yeah. We’re never taking that one down.”

“Terrific.”

Louis continues to look through the rest of the drawings. He hums to himself lightly, a tune she recognizes. He sticks more drawings on the wall; ones that AJ drew of him and Tenn, one he drew of Disco Broccoli.

He pauses when he comes across the one of AJ, Clementine, and him. The one with the beach ball. He smiles fondly at it before sticking it up there with the rest.

She sits on AJ’s bed, leaning against the frame to close her eyes and listen to his cheerful humming. 

One of the few things she loves in this world is the comfort she has when he’s around. 

It’s a comfort she never thought she’d find again. Before Ericson, she and AJ never had time for comfortable peace. When it was just them, there was always that lurking feeling, that bitterness, that lingered in her thoughts. 

Now, they have a place they call home. 

Clementine can’t imagine where they would’ve ended up had she not crashed the car. They’d still be out in the world, scavenging every little bit they could to survive. They never would’ve met the people she now considered family.

She and Louis would’ve never met, where she and AJ never met anyone at Ericson. 

That’s a really shitty thing to think about.

Finding this place, their home, was the best thing that happened to them. Meeting everyone here- Louis, Violet, Mitch, Ruby, Aasim, everyone - has done so much for them. For years, she worried about her and AJ, about always being on the road in a car that constantly ran on fumes, about running across assholes who wanted to hurt them, about the dead finally getting the best of them. Nowhere to go, no direction. A neverending search. 

 She sneaks a glance at Louis. He has no idea. 

He finishes up, shoving the duct tape in a drawer. Leaning against the desk with arms crossed over his chest, he looks at her with a tired grin, but says nothing. 

She raises a brow. 

“What?”

He shrugs.

It’s like the weariness of their previous night has caught up to him, like something triggered a sinking reality that weighs him down. The shadows along his face from the setting light do nothing to hide the sadness betraying his eyes.

She slowly approaches him and reaches out to grab his hand, tugging him closer to her.

“Hey,” she murmurs.

“Hey.”

“You feeling any better?”

“Of course.”

“Really?” Clementine locks their fingers together. “It’s been a long time since you’ve had one that bad.”

He keeps his stare focused on their hands. “...It wasn’t that bad.”

“Louis.”

“Clementine.”

“It was about that woman, wasn’t it?”

He says nothing, but she can see the answer clear in his eyes.

Yes, Clem, you know it was. It always is.

The first and only living person Louis ever personally killed, and it was purely accidental. It frustrates her that it still haunts him, and even more so that it’ll always haunt him. Even when he expressed the relief of “having it in him” to protect those he loves, there’s always a suffocating weight that comes with the first. If anyone knew that, it’s Clementine. 

That kind of guilt, no matter how irrational, never stops. 

“Dorian.”

“Hm?”

Louis closes his eyes and leans forward to press his forehead to hers.

“Her name was Dorian.”

“Lou-”

“I know.” He pulls back, forcing a smile. “I know.” 

His gaze falls on her nose. He pinches it again. 

“I don’t wanna talk about it right now. Is that okay?”

“Yeah,” she smiles sincerely. “Just… want to make sure you’re alright.”

“You don’t have to worry about me so much, Clem. There are more important ways to spend your time.”

More important? 

She supposes that’s a good way to put it. 

“Y’know, I was thinking about what you said this morning,” Clementine smiles. “AJ’s having another sleepover with Tenn tonight, so we have the whole room to ourselves.” 

Louis raises a brow, a slow smirk spreading across his lips. 

“Wanna build a pillow fort?”

“You read my mind.”

Without any hesitation, she kisses him. It’s a quick, soft, comforting peck that catches him off guard.

Another kiss to his lips, and then another. Clementine holds onto the nape of his neck and moves to his chin, his cheek, placing soft, intimate kisses against his warm skin. 

He looks at her with lidded eyes before his hands caress her cheeks, his thumb brushing just below her eye.

He kisses her, eager for every press of her mouth. He doesn’t stop kissing her, even when she tightens her grip on his jacket and pulls him back with her. The desk hits her hip and he’s quick to lift her up onto the surface, almost knocking over her venus fly trap plant.  

A pleased sigh escapes her lungs as she desperately moves to his jaw, down his neck. Her hands move beneath his jacket, trailing down to the hem of his shirt before bunching the material up. His skin is warm. His breathing is quick, shallow.  

“Clem! Clem!”

Louis yanks back, their lips parting quickly with a loud smack as she nearly topples over from the force of him ripping away. 

The bedroom door slams open and in barges Willy. 

She’s disoriented, lightheaded, blinking rapidly and frantically searching for any sign of danger. All she finds is Louis, who’s now over at AJ’s desk, humming incredibly loud, and Willy hurrying in with a triumphant smile.

“Clem, guess wha-!” The second he sees Louis, he stops and gasps. “Oh no!”

“Oh, look, darling!” Louis stops pretending to look at the pictures and glares at the young boy. “It’s Willy, the boy who doesn’t know how to knock! Nice of you to pop in unannounced this late in the evening !”

Willy’s face flushes a scarlet red as his gaze darts between the two, falling down to Louis’ shirt, which remains lifted to reveal part of his stomach. 

Louis yanks the material down, fake coughing.  

Willy’s face is reminiscent of a fresh tomato at this point. It seems that even he got the sense of what was happening before he ran in. 

Clementine slips down from the desk and tries to casually straighten out her own jacket and adjust her hat with an unfazed face, even though she’s positive that her skin is blotchy and red, too. 

“I’m sorry!” Willy blurts out, covering his eyes. “I didn’t see anything! I’ll knock next time! I swear!”

“Uh-huh,” Louis frowns. “Said that last time, didn’t you?”

Now she’s not sure who’s redder, her or Willy.

“Willy, what do you want?’ Clementine sighs. She composes herself and approaches the boy.

His eyes went to Louis before meeting hers. That’s all she needs.

“Is it Mitch?” 

Willy nods.

Clementine’s heart flutters. Choosing her words carefully, she asks, “Is he done?”

Willy nods once more. 

“Done with what?” Louis asks. 

“Uh-”

“Watch,” Clementine interrupts. “I completely forgot that I have watch.”

“Seriously?” Louis asks, confused. “Wait, I thought Ruby had watch tonight.”

“I switched her,” she lies, moving towards Willy and adding, “I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

Willy leaves without another word, staring down at the floor. Clementine holds back an annoyed sigh. The previous mood is completely gone and now she’s made a mess of lies that she’s gotta detangle before Louis gets suspicious. 

Damn it, Willy. 

Couldn’t have waited until morning. 

Louis gives a thoughtful frown. 

“I’m a little worried about him,” he says, “about Mitch, I mean.”

“Oh, uh, really?”

"Something weird’s going on with him,” Louis nods. “He’s been down in the basement every day for the past week and- ...Well, I went to check on him this morning before breakfast.”

Panic shoots through her stomach and into her heart.

Louis pauses, unsure if he should continue. 

“And?” Clementine presses.

 “...Well, when I tried going down the stairs, I think- well, it was probably nothing. I probably didn’t see what I thought I saw because I could’ve sworn I saw James down there, too-”

Clementine’s stomach drops.

“-and I don’t know what they were doing but before I could even get down the stairs, Mitch threw a shoe at me.”

“A shoe?”

Oh, goddamn it, Mitch-

“Yeah, right at my face! He about hit me in my big nose!”

Clementine rolls her eyes. “Again with the nose thing?”

“I’ve accepted its abnormally monstrous size,” he says. “Anyway, then I saw him again on my way to the greenhouse and he wouldn’t even look at me. Not that he’s one for conversation or anything, but it’s like… I don’t know. It felt weird. I don’t know what he’s doing down in the basement or what they’re doing if that really was James I saw. I’m not sure I want to know.”

“I’m sure it was nothing.”

“Probably… I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone shout ‘no!’ and ‘out!’ that many times in a ten-second time frame before hurling shoes at me. It was pretty terrifying.”

“Mitch is…” Clementine’s at a loss. While she’s thankful for Mitch’s ability to think on his feet so quickly, she wasn’t sure if she approved of the shoe method. “...Hard to understand sometimes, and he and James are friends so it’s not that weird that they’re hanging out together.”

Louis considers this, though she can tell he’s not completely convinced. 

“...Do you think they’re… I mean, it’s none of my business but if there was something going on between them-”

Oh boy.

Louis then shakes his head, changing his mind. 

“Y’know what? I’m sure it was nothing.”

She sighs. So much for not making Louis suspicious of anything. Then again, maybe this is her fault. She did tell James that Mitch was working on fixing the ring, and she should’ve known that would lead to him trying to help. 

“He’s working on a project,” she says lamely. “He probably wants a second opinion on it from James. ”

“A bomb project? I didn’t think James was a fan of explosions.”

“Firecrackers work as a great distraction for the walkers,” says Clementine, which isn’t a total lie. Mitch brought up the suggestion to James a while ago. They spent a long time discussing the idea if she remembers correctly. 

Well, better not let sweet Ruby know,” Louis says. “She’s still got a personal grudge towards Mitch’s bombs ever since that thing in the greenhouse, you know.”

“Oh, I’m aware,” she smirks. “ ‘A bomb? I will whip his ass!’ ”

Her Ruby impression gets a chuckle out of him. “Hope he knows a shoe won’t be enough to stop her. If anything, that’s just provoking the beast.”

“He’ll have to learn that for himself,” she smiles. Clementine approaches him again, fixing the collar of his jacket and apologizing, “Sorry I can't stay and help you build an amazing, comfortable pillow fort. Will you be okay?”

“Don’t worry about me, darling.” He grabs her hand and kisses her cheek. “We can always build a pillow fort another night, or, uhm, finish what we started. Maybe I’ll go tickle the ivories for a while before bed, so if I don’t see you before your finished or if I’m not awake, goodnight and stay warm.”

She gives him a long kiss goodbye before she leaves. 

One the door’s shut, she takes a moment to take a deep breath. 

Her face still feels warm after all the excitement. She’s still a little annoyed at the interruption, but if she’s right about what Willy was trying to imply, then she has to hurry. She can only hope that Mitch found a way to fix the ring.

The wait is starting to make her anxious.

#[with you] #twdg clouis #twdg clementine #twdg louis #twdg violet #twdg aj #twdg aasim #twdg ruby #twdg mitch #twdg willy #twdg james #twdg omar #twdg tenn #twdg louisentine #clouis #louisentine #twdg jamitch #twdg rusim #i should be back this friday #hopefully #if all goes according to plan #i miss being home and being on here #ugh #hahaha #anyway seriously thanks for reading #and thanks for the nice messages #i'll respond to them when i get back

[xxkellsvixen19xx]

Every Rose Has It's Thorn Pt 8

They must have drugged me because, by the time I woke, I was in what looked like an lab.

“L.A. don’t exactly pride themselves on using uncontrolled agents in their field, doctor,” I replied, curiosity getting the better of me. I was startled by the calm laugh that escaped Dr. List’s lips.

“Oh Miss Y/N, I’m afraid you’ve got it all wrong,” He leaned forward, putting the file down and resting his elbows on the table, “I’m going to tell you a little secret, but you must keep it between us,” His voice was low, poisonous.

“This isn’t L.A.,” His eyes remained fixed on my face, waiting for my reaction. Fear swelled in the pit of my stomach; I could feel my heartbeat in my throat.

“Then where am I?” I almost didn’t want to know the answer.

Dr. List held his hands out to his sides, palms open to the sky, Ambrose.

My hands remained locked behind my back as they transferred me to their lab, Dr. List’s words still spinning in my head. The guards responsible for moving me pushed me inside the room with more force than was necessary, my backside meeting a cold, metal chair. It wasn’t shiny and silver but dark in colour, my mind suddenly recalled Colson’s words, “There was no spell on those chains. They were made of iron, it was a test, to see if my theory was correct.”. They knew; whoever these people were, they knew what I was and they had strapped me into an iron chair so that my powers were rendered useless.

“I hope you are comfortable, Miss YLN,” Dr. List’s voice echoed out from behind me, “These tests will be long and arduous but I assure you they will only be mildly painful,” He moved around to the worktop to my left-hand side. I desperately tried to test my theory, begging the burning to appear beneath my skin, urging myself to awaken my only defence.

“Aren’t you aware? The iron cuffs, the chair,” Dr. List mused, walking over to me with a tray loaded with syringes and cannulas, “You see these old fashioned myths and legends, they are quite extraordinary…built on truths discovered by people like me way back when,” Another pause, another deafening silence as he prepared the first of the needles, pushing it beneath the skin and allowing it to slip into the vein with ease, “We know your weaknesses, Y/N.”

“What do you plan to do with me? Keep me chained up in this chair, kill me with your self -indulgent monologues?” I quipped, fear causing my inhibitions to disappear.

He laughed, putting the first vial of blood to one side as he filled another, “We collect things that are of interest to us, we make weapons out of them and you my dear are just another…artefact to add to our collection. We just have to decide how best to utilise you.”

            Colson moved through the darkened room, his hands caressing the cool blankets atop Y/N’s bed. The lamp had fallen from the bedside table, a few pieces of paper had been scattered across the floor. He flicked the light switch in the bathroom – the bulbs had blown. He frowned, trying his best to get a sense of what had happened here – why Y/N was nowhere to be found in the middle of the night. Carefully, he inspected the door, the lock had been compromised. Wherever Y/N was, she hadn’t gone willingly.

“Oh, what trouble have you found yourself in now, little bird,” He sighed, his form being swallowed by his seidr as he manifested himself in Y/N’s own apartment. The room was lit only by the streetlights outside, a black cat moved to wrap itself around Colson’s leg.

“Hello brother,” A voice called out from the corner of the room, sending Colson spinning on his heel. He lifted his hands in defeat, his lips tugging up into a knowing smirk.

“It seems sentiment has overtaken your logic,” Rook stood from the chair and moved slowly across the room until he stood just a few feet away from Colson.

“I could say the same for you,” Colson sneered.

Rook toyed with the handle of Mjolnir, his grip tightening, “I had a feeling you would come here.”

“Evidently your feeling was correct, you caught me,” Colson mused, his words were cut off swiftly as Rook pressed Mjolnir against his chest and forced him back against the wall.

“Where is she?” Colson asked, his chest crushed beneath the weight of Rook’s hammer.

“We have kept her in the tower, we couldn’t risk you coming back here to steal her all over again,” Rook grunted in reply.

Colson squinted his eyes, studying Rook’s expression as he considered his words, “Believe it or not, you have no need to lie to me. I don’t wish to harm your precious…interest.”

“It is no lie, what need do I have to lie to you when I have you firmly in my grasp?” Colson searched for any hint of mistruth in Rook’s voice but found none. He let out a long, deep laugh.

“Brother, I think you might find you’ve made a terrible mistake,” Colson sighed, feigning disinterest, “You see I was well aware that Y/N was being kept safe in your impenetrable tower but it would seem that she is no longer there, please feel free to check yourself, I’ll wait,” Rook grimaced at Colson’s words.

“What do you mean she is not there?” Rook asked.

Colson rolled his eyes, “Oh you blundering oaf please do catch up, the Fae child has gone. Vanished. Disappeared, not a scent of her is left in your glorious sanctuary.”

The apartment, previously dark and quiet was quickly filled with the bustle of field agents, looking for any sign that Wren had left of her own accord.

“How does a person just disappear? What about the security footage?” Bruce said as he poured himself his fourth cup of coffee of the day and moved to sit around the table with the others.

“Cameras are a bust, I’m having the systems checked for any sign of tampering but I’m guessing whoever took her is pretty thorough, probably didn’t leave a trace,” Slim rubbed his hand down over his face, “You know, if you hadn’t insisted on using her to talk to you none of this would have happened, can someone please give me a good reason not to throttle the guy next time I see him.”

Rook entered abruptly, “Colson is secure, for now but I think it would be best to transport him back to Cleveland as soon as possible, I don’t trust he won't escape your mortal confines after last time,” There was worry in Thor’s tone that Ashleigh picked up on almost instantly, she frowned, waiting for him to continue.

“What did he say to you?” She asked, studying Rook’s appearance for any subtle changes in demeanor.

“I believe he has been visiting lady YLN since her return,” He finalised, his eyes moving to glance at each of them. 

“Visiting? What popping by for a slumber party without setting off any alarms? Not likely,” Slim scoffed.

“He seems to have taken an interest in her,” Thor paused, “And I cannot be certain she hasn’t returned those feelings,” Silence filled the room as everyone considered the ridiculous notion that perhaps there was a mutual understanding between Colson and Y/N.

“He’s clearly manipulated her into trusting him, there’s no way Y/N could actually like the guy that almost wiped out the entire city,” AJ chimed in.

“How would we know?” Ashleigh replied, her eyes filled with an air of sadness, “Have any of us actually tried to talk to her properly, about what happened when she was kidnapped? Really put an effort in to find out if she was alright?” Nobody answered, which in itself spoke volumes.

“We don’t even know if she was ok before she was kidnapped, I mean outside of this building do we even know her?” Ashleigh paused, considering her next words carefully, “She goes home to her apartment alone, every night. She spends her days getting coffee, filing paperwork, helping out in the offices as best she can without ever getting fully involved in anything of importance. This is someone who has this incredible power and no one has ever shown her how to use it,” Ashleigh cleared her throat, surprising herself with the revelation, “She has been by herself ever since she was brought here by Rook.”

“Well shit,” Slim broke the uncomfortable silence around the table, “Although I would just like to point out I gave her an apartment and invited her over for dinner at least once a week so I’m definitely not as much of a dick as the rest of you are.”

“She knew we were coming for her, coming to test her, ask questions,” Ashleigh announced suddenly, “I told her about the agents coming to collect the results."

“So you’re thinking she fled? Freaked out?” Baze asked.

“What agents?” Rook appeared in the doorway; everyone turned to meet his gaze.

“The ones you sent,” Dub confirmed but Rook's expression told them there was something very wrong with that statement.

“I didn’t send any agents,” Rook replied from between gritted teeth before his hand came crashing down against the doorframe.

“This would be a good time to tell us everything you know about Y/N,” Ashleigh crossed her arms over her chest, “Don’t you think?”

#machine gun kelly imagine #machine gun kelly #machine gun kelly x reader #colson baker x reader #colson baker imagine #colson baker #fan fiction

[the-walking-memelords]

A2 - Chapter 7: Safety Out-Numbered Part 1

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 

Series is rated M

Word Count: 1799

There herd was populated by more than just the dead .

Read it on Ao3!

Read it on Wattpad!

Clementine’s hand found the handle of her machete only for her wrist to be seized by another. Cold fingers gripped her skin as she felt the presence lean in from behind her.

“Shh.” A gravelly voice whispered in her ear.

The hand pulled on the fabric of her shirt trying to turn She obliged, turning to see a person the same height as her. Under the smears of guts and gore, he wore a military green raincoat with the hood pulled up, but through the shadows, she could make out the toothy grin of someone she had never been so happy to see.

‘Willy?’ She mouthed to him with a smile as he reached out his hand to her quickly yet carefully, urging her to take it.

Taking one last look around, she took his hand as she followed him through the herd. Wiping the mix of rainwater and walker blood dripping into her eyes as she followed his careful movements turning into a near sprint as they escaped. Clementine followed around a sharp corner, smacking right into Louis and stumbling backwards.

He caught her before she fell, saving her from stumbling right back into the herd’s view. The young woman barely had time to regain her footing and smile up at him before something else threatened to knock her off her feet.

“Clem!” AJ said as he hugged her tight.

“We found them!”

“Nice of you finally show up at our little party.” Willy joked as he opened a cellar door off the side of the building, moving the squeaky hinges slowly as to not alert the dead.

“Fashionably late as usual.” Louis whispered back.

“Good thing I actually found you guys. Maybe Brody won’t be as pissed about me sneaking off.” WiIly looked back up and his face dropped.

“Who the hell are you?!”

Clementine whipped around to see Eli winded as he caught up. He looked back at Willy quizzically.

“Eli.” He waved awkwardly.

“Long story, let’s just get inside.”

---

“Hey guys, look what I found!” Willy’s voice grew to its usual excessive volume as he grinned ear to ear after the door was latched shut.

As they descended into the dim lighting of the windowless storm shelter, Clem breathed the hot musty air into her lungs. The space was lit with the unsteady light of lanterns whose batteries strained to keep going along with a few flickering candles. 

The stunned faces of her friends greeted her as Clementine stepped out of the shadows with the others in tow.

“Is that them?” A frantic voice broke the silence from a cot near the far wall.

Violet’s good eye squinted in the faint light as an exasperated redhead nearly had to pin her down as she untied a darkly stained cloth from her left shoulder.

“Please sit still, Vi.” Ruby quietly begged.

“Are y’all hurt?”

The smile on her face told them she was happy for their safe return, but the weariness in her eyes said she was nearly at her wit’s end.

“We’re okay.” Clementine smiled as she let out a sigh that felt like a breath she had been holding since they arrived at the empty school.

Hearing Clementine’s voice was enough for Ruby’s efforts to calm the blonde woman to be in vain as she tore away from Ruby’s grip to hug her best friend tight. 

Clementine could smell a tinge of blood as she hugged back tightly. When she finally pulled away, she saw the rip in the stained blue fabric of her shirt, revealing a nasty jagged wound in her flesh held together by small, even stitches. Fresh blood still slowly oozed out of it from her sudden movements.

“Glad you’re not dead.” Was all the injured girl could say before she stumbled back a few feet where Ruby caught her shoulder.

“She lost quite a bit of blood on the way here so she’s a little out of it.” Ruby said as she guided Vi back to the bed.

“I patched her up best I could but my medicine bag is back at the school so we’ve just been makin’ do with that we could scavenge out of here when the walkers showed up.”

“Some old uniform shirts, a few bottles of water I snagged on the way out of the school, and a mostly-looted first aid kit.” Aasim said dissatisfied.

“We also found a few cans of food but it won’t last long.”

Guess this place isn’t even a temporary shelter.

“We wanted to look for you guys but we couldn’t get around the walkers.” He continued.

“This is pretty much the only place we’ve had to rest for long.”

The school was marked so there was no going back yet, and probably not for a while. They could wait until the herd moves on to search the buildings but who knows how long that would take. The occasional boom of thunder along with the constant rapid pittering of the raindrops against the rusted door reminded her that there would be no way for them to camouflage as long as the rain poured.

Looks like we’ll be fighting our way out of here.

“Who the hell is that?”  Mitch stepped forward when he noticed the stranger half-hiding behind Louis.

“I-I’m Eli.” He looked at the floor, knuckles white as he gripped his sleeves with nervousness.

“Hey, It’s alright.” Clementine calmed them, passing the boy a small smile.

“We saved him from the people that invaded the school. He knows stuff about them he can help us avoid them.”

“Does he know why they’re after us?” Aasim questioned, biting his lip.

“We barely got out of there in one piece, and then those assholes jumped us on the bridge.”

Eli only seemed to sink deeper into himself as he tried to pick his words carefully. With all eyes on the new kid, AJ stepped up right next to him.

“It’s okay.” He said with a smile.

“We know you’re not bad, so they will too.”

Eli smiled and shakily relayed what little he knew. The school’s transformation and why he was there. It wasn’t any more than what he had told them before, but it was clear that was all he knew as well.

“I just do what I’m told.” He said.

“I don’t know what’s going to happen. No one ever tells me the ‘why’ just the ‘what’.”

“You sure about this?” Brody said in a barely audible voice.

Clementine nodded in response. There was no way she could leave this kid to try to make it on his own.

“You guys got to the school?” Omar questioned.

“It must’ve been overrun. The herd came at us from all different directions just as Mitch, Brody, and Aasim got back.”

Louis paced with his brow furrowed in anger. The sights they saw of what they’d done to their home after forcing them out had to frustrate him beyond belief.

“These assholes decided to do some renovations.” He let out a short disheartened laugh.

“All the dorms were barred up and filled with walkers. Probably more in the other buildings too, but we got spotted before we saw anything else.”

His words hung in the air as a hopeless silence filled the dark dingy basement. No home, few supplies, and a herd of the dead prowling the area above them. But they were alive. That’s a better outcome than a lot of the other scenarios Clementine had been through on the road. 

Even though no one spoke it was clear that the same thought danced through each of their heads:

“What do we do now?”

“Even if we can’t stay here for very long, these buildings might be our only shot to get supplies for miles.” Clementine paced as she planned.

“If the buildings are at least half-decently secured from the outside the herd shouldn’t have wandered in unprovoked. There's a few different buildings around here. Something’s gotta be left.”

“It’s risky…” Aasim pointed out.

“Who knows what’s locked in there.”

“Everything we do is risky.”

“Fair.”

“Let’s wait and see if the storm lets up.” Louis suggested.

“Check out some buildings quick and be in and out before the walkers even notice us.”

“Where will we go after?” Willy asked softly, uncertainty in his tone.

“When can we go home.”

Can we ever?

Images of the ranch came to mind. Voices of the people around her became drowned out by the distant screams of her memories. 

The blood. 

The fire. 

The bodies falling around her.

The weight of the little boy in her arms before her balance was ripped out from under her as a bullet ripped through her leg.

The day her life and freedom were left in the ashes of the place she called home and replaced with the brutal hell that almost stole what remained of her humanity.

So much blood.

I’m covered in it.

Was this the beginning of history repeating itself? Losing her home once again just to be captured and forced into a war. Clementine suddenly felt far away from the current situation lost in the visions of what may end up being a premonition. 

A gun pointed.

Innocent people screaming.

A bullet.

And her behind the trigger.

Never again…

Never…

I cant…

I’d die before I went back.

She won’t take me again.

“Clem?” A comforting presence appeared at her right.

“Are you alright?”

Clementine opened her eyes, not realizing she had closed them. Louis took her hand with a worried expression in his eyes. She wanted to respond but couldn’t force any coherent sounds from her dried throat. Pain shot up her left leg as she took a step, what remained of it begged to be released from the prosthetic as each step sent an ache down to her bone.

“Let’s get some sleep.” She mumbled out almost slurred before limping to one of the cots and nearly collapsing.

Clementine didn’t have to move to remove it, which was good, because she didn’t have the energy to. Her eyes fell shut as she pushed a deep breath from her lungs.

Louis carefully undid the straps from her thigh and gently removed the wooden leg attachment. She felt his fingers softly graze the crisscrossed scars across her stump, the skin an angry red colour and sensitive.

Louis and Ruby mumbled at the end of her bed something she couldn't comprehend as mental and physical exhaustion overcame her.

The weight of the cot shifted as someone sat down next to her. Louis’ warm hand brushed through her cold, wet curls as he hummed that song we wrote for her the night before the Delta attacked.

Normally, the song meant safety and warmth and love.

But now it brought her a creeping feeling of impending doom.

#a2 #twdg clementine #twdg louis #clouis #the walking dead game #the final season #my writing

[favouriteentertainer-blog]

Chapter 2 - Imma Show You a Thing or Two

“I’ve done this before, not like this.”

Chapter 1 

My feet were aching, and I needed coffee. I so badly wanted to step into two beans where I knew Zayn worked, but I couldn’t—I couldn’t allow myself to fall down the big, beautiful boy shaped rabbit hole.

I’d just finished my 8am environmental communications class and I was absolutely knackered. My sleeping schedule was coming back to bite me in the ass.

I decided to push through it for the better and made the effort to walk an extra 15 minutes. I really bloody wanted the coffee.

Penny Lane was nice, the coffee was good too, better than two beans—in fact, the only reason I didn’t go there more often was because it was further away and because Dan hadn’t always wanted to walk. My new-found independence meant that I could do whatever I wanted—leg ache or not.

A small bell above the door chimed as I entered, I pulled my beanie off and tried to shove it into my tote bag—I sighed heavily as the handles tangled causing me to drop the hat.

“Oh here—“ someone picked it up for me.

“Thanks—“ I said in a huff as I cursed the handles on the scraggly bag. It needed to be thrown out, but it’d been given to me as a gift by my friend Lily and I didn’t want it to go to waste. I grabbed the hat from the stranger and finally shoved it into my bag. When they didn’t bother to move I actually took the time to look at who was standing in front of me.

“Hi.” Zayn smirked.

I almost choked on my saliva. “Hi.”

“Not at two beans today?” He chuckled lightly, pushing up the sleeves of his black sweater in the process.

“Neither are you.” We were both stating the obvious.

“Oh Jheeze really?” He said sarcastically as he looked around the room.

“Are you trying to be funny?” I was scowling but I really wanted to smile. ‘Stop it.’ I reprimanded myself—I needed to remember that I was supposed to be sad.

“Yeah maybe,” he still had a stupid grin plastered on his face.

“Okay well,” I walked past him, “I need a coffee, so go annoy someone else yeah?” I was trying to assert my ‘I don’t care about you attitude,’ but I wasn’t sure it was working.

“You’re the one who got here after me.” He rolled his eyes, “why are you even here?” He was following me to the counter.

“I was trying to avoid you!” I blurted it out.

“What?” He stopped walking.

“I was embarrassed about what happened the other day—“ I had to think quickly and thankfully my brain came up with a plausible excuse. “I didn’t want you bringing it up.” I hoped and prayed that my lie was enough for the behavioural science major.

“Oh, why would I do that?” He frowned.

I ignored him for a second, “hiya—“ I smiled at the girl working the counter, “could I please get a medium long black.” She noted my order down on a cup and I handed her the money. “I dunno,” I turned back to Zayn, “people usually like to harp on other’s misfortunes when they find it funny.”

“I didn’t find it funny.” He said curtly.

“Oh—“ my cheeks were burning up, “well I just thought—“

“You thought wrong.” He corrected me.

I wanted to tell him that I didn’t think badly of him, I just didn’t want to see him because I was scared I wouldn’t stop thinking about him for the rest of the night.

“Here you go!” The barista handed me my coffee over the machine.

“Thank you!” I smiled.

I walked towards a table and Zayn walked towards the door. “Where are you goin?!” I called out. I mentally slapped myself—I had no idea why I’d done that.

“Home?” He responded, as if it weren’t clear.

“Obviously—“ I scoffed, “but we were having a conversation, come back.” I was really calling him back and for no good reason other than the fact that I just wanted to spend time with him.

“You’re so strange.” He pulled out the chair across from me as sat down. “I don’t even know your name.”

“Wait, didn’t I tell you the other day?” I could’ve sworn that I did.

“You did not.” He spoke concisely.

“It’s Kali.” When I was younger my name embarrassed me, I hated it—a foreign name just didn’t sit well with anyone I knew; friends, teachers and even neighbours. It was hard for me to adjust to being different, I resented my Asian background. I woke up every day wishing I was white and that’s why I let pretty much everyone in my life call me K, it just worked better for them—even Dan.

“Kali,” he repeated, “the Goddess of destruction.”

“I’m not as powerful as my name.” I smiled. My heart was beating so fast and for what? All because he knew the meaning behind my name. Of course, he did, I reminded myself—he was probably from some sort of Asian background too. “You can just call me K though, probably easier.”

“What?” He screwed up his face, “there’s nothing hard about your name at all.”

“Most people find it too ethnic.” I shrugged.

“I’m literally brown, if I have a problem with your name that is a problem” he laughed.

I couldn’t help but smile, “yeah that’d be fucking weird.” I awkwardly took a sip of my coffee—the two of us maintaining eye contact. “So why didn’t you go get coffee from your actual workplace?” I questioned.

“It’s shit.” He answered me as he reached for his phone. He quickly checked the time before sighing—“I have to go, my shift starts in 20 minutes.”

I didn’t want to look sad, but I was pretty sure it was written all over my face. “Yeah of course.” I smiled, “sorry about being a bitch before.”

“It is what it is.” He got up, “we can all be a bit bitchy sometimes.”

I laughed lightly, “see you around.”

“See ya.” He winked before turning away and heading off.

My heart felt empty and I had to remind myself that I couldn’t and shouldn’t be feeling the way I did.

—

“Do you think I’m going crazy.” I was laying on the couch.

“No.” Hailee had just finished work, I missed her when she wasn’t in the apartment. She was both my flatmate and one of my best friends—therefore the fact that I hadn’t seen her for two whole days was terrible. “If you didn’t love him anymore why would you be sad? Especially because now that you’re reflecting you’re seeing how toxic he was.”

“You’re so right.” I agreed, “BUT I FEEL BAD!” I couldn’t help but feel a weird sensation of pity.

“There’s nothing to feel guilty about,” she reassured me, “if anything you should be praising yourself for doing the right thing and not leading him on anymore.”

“Again, you’re right.” She was making some points but it didn’t mean I was feeling any better.

“Stop beating yourself up, we’re all human.” She got up from the couch and walked towards the kitchen “would you like a cup of tea?”

“Yes pleaassseeeeee,” tea wasn’t going to absolve the guilt, but it sure was going to make me feel better. “You know how I like it.”

“Coming right up!” She said, flicking the switch on the kettle. “Do you have class tomorrow?” She was rumbling through the cupboard for a snack.

“Nope,” I yawned, “it’s my day off tomorrow.”

“I was thinking we could go to the museum before I head off to work?”

“If I wake up early enough then yes.” I was still dreadfully tired and I knew for a fact that I’d pass out as soon as I hit the pillow, and I was definitely going to be asleep for 10 hours. Making no promises was therefore the obvious choice.

“Hails.” I spoke warily as I adjusted my Captain America pyjama shorts.

“Mhm?” She hummed in response as she set my cup of tea down in front of me.

“Thank you,” I picked it up and took a sip. “There’s one more problem.” I could tell her about Zayn because she was my empathetic best friend, she and AJ were polar opposites. Hailee was kind and caring, whereas AJ was blunt and truthful.

“What’s that?” She questioned, raising her eyebrows in concern.

“I can’t stop thinking about this guy—I met him AFTER I broke up with Dan.” I clarified just in case she got the wrong impression.

“Keep going.” She motioned for me to tell her more.

“His name is Zayn and he works at two beans, he’s a behavioural science major—absolutely gorgeous, so gorgeous. I’ve only seen him twice, but after both encounters I haven’t been able to stop thinking about him. Hails, everything about him just seems right!” I slapped my hands to my face and let out a groan of disgust. “That’s why I feel so guilty.”

“Stop feeling guilty!” She shouted at me, “You are human!!!!” She repeated what she’d told me before.

“But surely this isn’t right? Surely I should be feeling more remorseful?”

“K, you are completely fine. There’s nothing wrong with a little post-breakup crush. Who even said anything was going to happen huh?” She lay across the sofa and tried to sip on her tea, but it dripped down her chest.

“Here” I said handing her the roll of paper towel. She was right for the millionth time. Just because I thought Zayn was gorgeous and absolutely hilarious did not mean we were going to fuck.

“I just don’t understand why you overthink shit so much. You’re so much better than you realise, you need to give yourself more credit.” She wiped the tea off her chest and sat up.

“Yeah,” I sighed, “maybe one day I will.”

#Zayn Malik #Zayn Malik Fanfiction #Zayn Malik Fanfic #Zayn Fanfiction #zayn fanfic

[mangled-dreams]

Christmas Surprise

Christmas Surprise is the original story I’d started for @villain-friend, but decided I didn’t really enjoy it. But it’s a finished project and I feel like a crappy individual for making everyone involved wait, so I’m posting it anyways. Hopefully you all, especially you Villain-Friend, enjoy at least one of these stories. This is one features Anti and is from Winter prompt list numbers 129. “We’re not going to spend the holidays alone and sad. i won’t allow that!” and 135.  “I know that people usually kiss under mistletoe but.. I had other things planned.”

Outside the window snow drifts lazily from the soft grey sky. It's not sticking to the ground or any surface. You'd been hoping for a white Christmas, but it's not looking like that's in the cards. It's not just the lack of white powder on the ground that's dampened your holiday spirit.

Your mother and father had decided to take a spontaneous vacation to Hawaii, and your older siblings live too far away and can't be together for Christmas. Other than a few friends—that have their own Christmas traditions,  and an aunt you don't particularly enjoy seeing, you don't have much in ways of people to spend Christmas day with.

Even Anti had said he'd be busy. That was kind of the last straw. Despite his rough and more than manic exterior, Anti is a very trustworthy and loyal friend. Sure, you have a crush on him, but you don't let that interfere with your friendship.

Another loud sigh leaves your lips. You watch your neighbor three houses down walk her Basset Hound, Buddy. You smile slightly, liking the little dog's ears flopping as it trots to keep up with it's owner. You miss having your own little friend to keep you company.

Pouring your heated water into the 16 oz cup with peppermint hot coca mix in it, you stare out the fogged up window to the darkening sky. This is your third cup of spiked hot cocoa. You put a moderate amount of peppermint flavored vodka into your mixture to give it a little bit of a kick—not enough to get your drunk.

Turning you look at the decorations your mother had helped you put up, the small nativity scene you'd received from your dearly departed grandfather on your dad's side, and the tree your father helped you pick out and chop down. Presents litter beneath it.

Presents that wouldn't be opened because the majority of them are meant for your family and friends that wouldn't be stopping by. Originally you'd planned a large Christmas party to exchange gifts and have a merry time with the people you love most, but... as the month progressed people started retracting their invitations, your parents went on an unplanned trip, and others couldn't get the time off or family obligations took precedence over your get together.

You'd ended up canceling the whole thing, simply letting people know that they could stop by to pick up their presents from you whenever they can. You'd been looking forward to seeing your friends, seeing your family, seeing everyone really having a good time. Enjoying time together, sharing in the laughter and good times, but that's a dream by this point.

Tasting your coca mix you decide it needs a little more vodka and pour a little more into your cup, less than half a shot glass and stir it. Tasting it once more you nod at the flavor and take it to your couch, turning off lights as you move, you sit down on your couch, pulling a small black end table you use as a coffee table to the couch, and watch the Christmas lights twinkle and blink in the darkness.

You fall asleep with a half full coffee cup and the Christmas lights casting colorful shadows across your skin.

Looking down at your sleeping face Anti looks around the cozy apartment. For what it's worth, you have a good eye for style and placement. He always feels at home here. He enjoys your company.

With a sigh he runs a hand through his hair and snaps his fingers. Within a split second a thick, plush blanket with green little trees decorated in glittering ornaments and shimmering stars appears in his arm.

Anti walks closer to you and lays the blanket over your sleeping form. You look peaceful but sad. He doesn't particularly enjoy this combination on your face. It annoys him when you are sad. He rarely knows how he should help you or if he should even attempt to help you.

Anti debates with himself for a moment before resting his hand against your forehead, sipping his hand under your bangs to feel your skin. He knows this is invading your very precious privacy, but he wants to know how to help you. Without much more flourish he slips in you your mind, seeing everything he missed in his absence.

He sees what is causing you so much unhappiness. Loneliness.

The next afternoon you decided to go out for lunch. You'd been cooped up in your house for the past two days and decide you need human contact. Party of you wonders if Anti had stopped by last night but can't confirm it. Anti usually leaves something on the coffee table to signal he'd stopped by. Something specifically him.

You look at the folded blanket as you pass by the couch to put your shoes on you pause; you don't remember getting yourself a blanket. With yet another sigh you grab your jacket and leave your apartment, closing the door and locking it. You don't know where you're going to go for lunch just yet, deciding to just walk around and see what makes you hungry.

Walking down the street nearly four hours and a stop at a taco truck later you arrive back home. Your windows are dark aside from the Christmas lights twinkling on a timer. You take the stairs to your door and unlock it. Quickly you twist the knob and use your foot to push it open.

Your arms are currently holding your recent purchases from a few handmade shops. You'd found a wonderful knife set with hand carved wooden handles that remind you of Anti. You'd also found some cute little crystal frog sculptures for your friend Trinity among other things you don't care to list.

You slip your shoes off your feet, kicking them into the small cube behind your door and kick the door close. Moving into the living room you set your items down before going back to ensure the door is closed, lock it, and remove your jacket and scarf. Beside your coat rack is a multi-photo frame filled with photos of your youth and more recent memories. You smile at the photos and head back into the living room. Whenever Anti stops by you plan on giving him the wonderful knife set.

Anti does have an odd obsession with the common household blades. Gently you take your items from their bags and separate them by who they are for. You pause in your organization to gather up your wrapping paper, tape, and scissors before continuing.

Checking your phone for new messages you sit down on the edge of your bed. You reach down and pick up your phone charger from the floor as you respond to a message from Gale. Wishing a merry Christmas you say good night and plug your phone in. You turn on your white noise making app and lay down, staring up at the ceiling as the lights from your tree dance across the white paint. It soothes you, almost lulling you into forgetting the crushing loneliness you feel during what's supposed to be a happy time of year.

You fall asleep with that thought in mind...

"Hey, I made breakfast, if you want some you better get up now." Gale calls from your bedroom door.

You stir from your sleep, confused and more than just a little concerned you're hallucinating. "Gale?"

"Come on! Get a move on before AJ eats everything!" Gale shouts from the kitchen. Sitting up you listen to the sounds of your siblings bickering at each other before bolting from you bed. This is definitely your house, and you are in the right time frame...but... why are AJ and Gale in your house.

"What are you doing here?" You ask--more like demand. As far you understood it, neither would be able to join you for Christmas because they couldn't get time off from work and prices for plane tickets were--still are ridiculously expensive. "You said you couldn't come this year." You follow up when neither decide to say anything."That was before we were told that Mom and Dad abandoned you." Gale says cleaning off his hands with your dish towel. You frown at him. You weren't abandoned.

Before you can make the retort AJ voices, "well, not abandon you," She glares at Gale. “But still, why didn't you tell us? We heard that you cancelled your annual Christmas party too." You freeze for a moment, a little taken back by the question.

"You said you couldn't make it. I didn't want you to worry about me." you tell them looking away from them. You hate feeling guilty for something you can't control. It's not like you were going to beg them to visit you for Christmas.

"Well, yeah, but that doesn't mean we wouldn't try to make it work. Thankfully I was able to convince my boss to let me attend the contract meeting in town. Told him I have ties to the community and can help in negotiations." AJ says looking quite proud of herself. You stare at your sister in awe. She has always been the convincing one, so really it shouldn't be so surprising.

"I just told my boss I needed the time off to spend with family since I haven't taken time off in nearly two years." Gale adds with a shrug. You smile in an attempt to hide the tears filling your eyes. You love your siblings and even as you know without a doubt they love you, you didn't think they'd put so much effort into being with you on Christmas.

"But...who told you I was going to be alone?" you ask as AJ puts her fork down and slips from her stool to comfort you. You've always been so easily overloaded by your own emotions. It's not something you ever asked for, and for the longest time you were ignorant to your own emotional reactions, but in recent years you've come to terms with it.

AJ coos to you as she wraps you up in her arms, soothing you with gentle fingers combing through your hair. "You're friend, that weird one with the green hair, he gave us a call and let us know what was going on. He seems to care a lot about you." AJ tells you. You blink and look at your brother for clarification.

Gale just nods his head and sets down his own plate and turns off the stove. You make vow to thank Anti in person for his intervention. He really didn't have to do anything like this for you.

"Anti?" you call late that time when your siblings have gone off to bed. Your place is big enough to accommodate them.

"Hey, didn't think you'd be awake." Anti says turning his head to look at you. He's spread out on your couch with an arm draped over his forehead. You smile at him.

"I was waiting up for you." You tell him perching on the armrest of the love seat across from Anti. "I wanted to thank you for contacting my brother and sister." You tell him smiling in the ever changing lights. "You didn't have to do that." You add.

Anti smirks and sits up, keeping eye contact with you. "To be honest I kind of did it for myself too." He tells you. "I felt pretty low. Christmas has always been a sore spot in my life." He adds looking down to his hands. You follow his dropped gaze. You don't really know why Christmas is a sore spot but it makes you feel a little guilty.

"I'm sorry, Anti. I didn't know. You don't have to stick around. If you need to..."

"No, don't be sorry." Anti tells you. His thick Irish accent commanding your full attention and obedience. "We’re not going to spend the holidays alone and sad. I won’t allow that."

You know he's serious by the look in his eyes. It makes you feel warm and bubbly with happiness.

"Then let's spend it together, Anti. You, me, and my brother and sister. They can be a handful, but they're good people and they'll welcome you with open arms." You suggest seeing the positive response in Anti's eyes.

"No take backs." he jokes and you laugh with him before getting out your spare blankets and pillow and get Anti settled in. You talk a little longer before sleep calls your name and you respond to it's call.

You spend the next two days on and off with your brother and sister and Anti. At night when AJ is off work you enjoy hot cocoa, popcorn, and Christmas themed movies, then when AJ and Gale have gone to sleep you cuddle up in the same blanket with Anti and watch horror movies based around Christmas.

You'd fallen asleep on the couch with Anti both times only to wake up with Gale and AJ snickering about the pair of you being a cute couple. You shooed them away and moved on with the day. Both times Anti heard them and teased you the rest of the day.

"Merry Christmas!!" Everyone cheers as the long awaited day finally dawns in your house. Everyone exchanges gifts, enjoying one another and their company and share stories of Christmases past. You made sure Anti shared in your family's traditional Christmas breakfast. You played the various games you'd gifted and received. You laughed along side Anti and your siblings as the morning lazily drifted into the afternoon.  

You'd and Anti had gone out to buy a few groceries and ended up messing around for a few house finally arriving home nearly two hours later than originally thought, cheeks flushed, chests heaving, laughter filling the cold air around you. You nearly bust down the door in your race to get inside. It's really only when Anti is with you that he let's his guard down and can get back a piece of who he once was.

Laughing as you nearly tumble right into the floor, face first, Anti wraps an arm around your waist and holds you from hitting the ground. The bags in his free hand disappears only to reappear on the kitchen counter.

AJ and Gale stand up from the couch to look at the commotion you and Anti are making. AJ smiles at Gale, nudging him in the rib as she points out the small piece of mistletoe handing from the ceiling. Both smile deviously at each other. "Hey! You're under the mistletoe!" AJ shouts.

Both you and Anti's heads snap up to look at the small piece of plant dangling from a white string. "AJ, did you hang up mistletoe?"

Anti simply stares at the mistletoe before glancing at your siblings then you again. Mistletoe has always been a holiday tradition in your household. A quick kiss on the cheek and you'd scurry away from the plant of embarrassment.

"What? It's always been a tradition!" AJ shouts trying to appear innocent despite her devious actions. "Well? Aren't you two gonna kiss?"

You feel your face heat up at her question. "AJ!" You shout, unable to find anything else to respond with. As much as you'd like to kiss Anti you know it's not quite right to ambush him like this, even if it isn't by your doing. "I know that people usually kiss under mistletoe but.. I had other things planned." You say quickly to dispel the tension filling the air between you and Anti. You smile at him, wrapping your arms around his chest, slipping under his arms. "Well, really one thing and a few words." You clarify. "Thank you, Anti, for being my best and most loyal friend. I don't know what I'd do without you."

Anti chuckles, his arms wrapping around you to hold you close. "I know what you mean." Anti tells you hugging you tightly. You know it's not what your sister and brother had been thinking but it's still just as meaningful to you.

Later that evening after you covered up AJ and Gale with a few plush throws you pick up the alcohol filled hot cocoa mugs and take them into the kitchen. You spot Anti standing near the door seemingly deep in thought. You smile at him and let him be. He seemed to be preoccupied since before dinner. Part of you wonders if it's because of the mistletoe incident, but you know Anti. He'd tell you if something was wrong.

Cleaning your cups, wiping down the counters, and making sure everything is put away properly you turn around to find Anti still in the same spot. You give him a confused look and walk over to him, gently laying your hand on his shoulder. "Anti?" You say softly.

Without warning Anti spins around, grabbing both your wrists, his eyes scanning your face--searching for something you can't exactly pinpoint.

"Whoa, Anti, are you okay?" you ask gauging Anti's response to your voice. Occasionally Anti has lapses of sanity and it's usually during that point he's most dangerous.Anti's eyes look you over before slowly releasing your wrists. "I care about you, you know that right?" Anti asks earning a confused look from you.

"Y-yes, I know and I care for you too, Anti." You respond. Anti nods, you can see he's warring with himself about something and it makes you uneasy. "Anti," you whisper softly, glancing at your sleeping siblings. "Are you feeling okay? D-do you need to go?" you ask in the same whisper.

Anti's eyes seem to map your face as you nervously tuck loose strands of hair behind your ear. "Y/n," He says earning your full attention. "We're under mistletoe." he informs you. You look up to confirm his words and look at him with confusion.

"Oh, I forgot to take that down." You say reaching up to grab a strand of the ribbon holding the mistletoe to the small peg in your ceiling. Anti quickly stops you. His hand holding yours as he brings it to his chest. "Anti?" Your voice is a ghost of sound, you're nervous and unsure what Anti is thinking.

"I care a lot about you." He tells you. You nod in agreement, unable to find your voice.

You don't know how it happened but you're in Anti's arms, his rough chapped lips pressed tightly against yours. You stand frozen in his arm for a few seconds before relaxing into his touch. Your eyes slowly close and you simply melt into his embrace. You don't notice when AJ sneaks from her spot on the floor to the kitchen and snaps a few photos. The best one being texted to your parents, Gale, and yourself.

#the rejected #antisepticeye #anti x reader #reader insert #comfort #christmas surprise #he loves you #surprise #I'm sorry I'm still a lazy sloth #but not so much lazy #as I am an overwhelmed sloth #still... #I'm sorry #i hope you enjoy

[ajcrocker]

Making Space

I knew this day would come at some point but I didn’t expect to be so happy about it.

Last week I officially handed off leadership of Youth Quake to Kaitlin Giddings. This was my dream job and I loved every minute of the ten years I got to lead YQ. It's been 14 years in a row that I've been apart of the YQ leadership team, which seems like… a long time.

You know what is pretty cool? As we are faithful with tasks God gives us, He uses those times to shape us and prepare us for the next chapter.  We are usually not ready to let go of the tasks that we love. However, in my experience new dreams emerge slowly but surely as life moves along.

Two years ago a conversation started with my boss at the time, Ellery Pullman, about how long I could keep this up. I had young kids at home, I was directing the recruitment efforts for our three schools, I was travelling as a speaker, and was still directing most aspects of Youth Quake each year. This conversation ended up including people inside and outside of Briercrest, but aligned in message: "Are you sure you can handle all of this? Should you be trying to handle all of this?".

On a specific flight to Kelowna I remember the Lord meeting me in a major way. The memory is sharp. The moment was significant to me. It was so heavy on my heart that it was time for an exit strategy from my dream job and I had been resisting. As I opened up to the thought, more things came to mind. It’s not just that it was the right time for me, but the primary word was that my role now was to make space for my young leaders to actually lead. To make space. AKA, Quit taking up so much space, and start multiplying leaders. Quit taking up all that space AJ. 

Working with young leaders is one of the best parts of my job. I think I've been a healthy safety net for those young leaders in my departments, but we were entering a season where I needed to do more coaching from the sidelines and play a little less quarterback.  God was also helping me see I needed to make space for the next chapter here at Briercrest.

A few tears may have rolled out of my eyes on that flight. I apologize to the person in my row who witnessed this large man with inexplicably long hair, bright shoes and very loud headphones fighting back tears for a half hour. Would have been a confusing sight.

These were healthy tears though. A little bit of mourning, a little bit of submission, but a whole lot of realization that God's ways were going to be better than me protecting what I wanted. It was once again time to trust Him and follow.

The path to hand-off was clear. So clear that it if I could just get my stubborn hands off the ball and pass it to my very capable sidekick that this thing could grow much wider then my decade-old vision for the event.

Years earlier the Lord had brought a young woman to Briercrest who also went by her initials, KG. As she walked by our YQ team sign-up table in her first week she stopped and said "What's this?" with a brazen confidence and what some might consider a strong personality. I simply said "I think you should be on our team". Now reading that back, it sounds like the cheesiest thing in the world…but that is literally how I met Kait. She joined the team in the fall of 2015.

Kait quickly became a YQ intern, then leader of our interns and jumped on stage to co-host with me. It was at that point I said "We cant be AJ and KG on stage at YQ… that’s too many initials. I'll use your real name and call you Kait.". It's worked out quite well ever since, in my opinion.

Against most of my assumptions (read: fears), Kait accepted a role on my staff after graduation. As that first year went along, it was clear that the Lord had brought someone into our team with an unwavering confidence, incredible creativity and a work ethic to be proud of. She clearly loved Jesus, cared deeply about helping youth see Jesus and could care less about titles or roles. She was natural on stage and even better in the planning and execution stages.

The only thing in the way of an obvious hand-off was myself hanging onto the dream for too long. That and some time to change my mentoring approach with Kaith from the "Help AJ" program to the "Your time to shine" track.

The last two years have been a pretty intentional mentorship to get here.

The Lord wasted no time showing me why letting go was so important. Shortly after that flight my wife Cheryl and I were very surprised with news that we were pregnant with our third child. I was also asked to take on oversight to our marketing office as well as join the Executive Leadership Team as a Vice-President here at Briercrest. We thought, "hey why not add something more?" and I started doing my MBA in the evenings. This season has reshaped my brain, my heart and God's given fresh vision for what is possible at Briercrest in the future. 

I honestly wonder sometimes what would have happened if I didn’t reluctantly say "Fine" to the Lord's leading on that flight. Would my stubbornness and attachment to a previous dream have kept me from some of these new, exciting things? Would my pride and ego have corroded the integrity of the event, or worse, my heart? Would YQ have had to shut right down during Covid? Would it even have a chance at bouncing back?

I don't love my assumed answers to those questions.

With Kait in the mix, and Covid-19 wreaking havoc, Youth Quake has changed and diversified a great deal for 20-21. I am so excited for this plan Kait has. Those details drop on October 1st but none of them, literally none of them, would be happening if the Lord hadn't orchestrated this hand-off.  

YQ is in great hands to continue the 57 year long legacy of helping teenagers in the prairies learn how to follow Jesus with their whole lives, to connect with their Christian friends and youth leaders and to consider Briercrest as a place to pursue an education that disciples.  

And one day, post-covid, Kait will lead us back to once again throwing down a party that students will never forget.

A great joy in this is that I'm still at Briercrest and I love it here. Kait is a key leader on my team and I'll be cheering from the sidelines. It's just that I might make it home on time to play with my kids after work more often. 

I'll co-host a few things with Kait but she's got the ball now and I couldn't be more excited for Her, for YQ and what this all means for the Kingdom.

-AJ

[tomeandflickcorner]

Umbrella Academy Recap 2x07

1x01 1x02 1x03 1x04 1x05 1x06 1x07 1x08 1x09 1x10

2x01 2x02 2x03 2x04 2x05 2x06

Well, last time, it was one step forward and two steps back for the Hargreeves Siblings.  Not only did they make contact with 1963 Reginald, who proved to be no help to them (no surprises there), but there were setbacks even for the individual subplots.  Ray now knows about Allison’s powers, but he’s still leery because he knows that he wouldn’t know it if Allison had used her powers on him.  Klaus was able to have a private conversation with Past Dave, only to find that his efforts of keeping him from being killed in the upcoming Vietnam War may have backfired as they resulted in Dave’s uncle forcing him to enlist ahead of schedule.  And while Vanya managed to convince Sissy to agree to run away together, Sissy’s husband, Carl, was spying on them and now knows they’re in love.  Oh, and poor Elliot was brutally tortured and killed by the Swedes, who are looking for Diego, whom they believe was directly responsible for the death of their brother.  And Number 5 made a deal with The Handler, which involved him agreeing to kill The Commission’s board of directors to ensure The Handler could take charge in exchange for the chance for him and his siblings to return to their own time, with both apocalypses being permanently removed from the timeline.  Yeah, a lot happened last episode.

Episode 7 begins with Number 5 traveling to Oshkosh, Wisconsin in 1982, which is the time and location of the board of directors meeting.  The meeting is taking place at some lodge, under the guise of the Midwest Soybean Society.  After getting directions to the correct ballroom from a lady at the reception desk, Number 5 has a hilarious ordeal with a faulty vending machine.  One that I’m sure anyone who has had their desired snack fail to dispense correctly can relate to.  In frustration, Number 5 smashes the vending machine’s glass covering.  However, he then choses to simply walk away from the damage.  Not sure why he didn’t just take the fudge nutter bar he was so determined to get, but maybe he felt it best to get away from the scene of the crime.  Number 5 then proceeds to the indicated ballroom, where the board of directors meeting is already underway, with AJ, the talking goldfish we last saw in 2x02, sitting at the head of the table.  Number 5 barges into the room, wielding a fire axe and proceeds to kill everyone in the room.  Rather gruesomely, I might add.  Yes, we don’t actually see any of the killing blows, but we do see one guy lying on the ground with his intestines hanging out.  Before long, everyone in the room is dead, apart from Number 5 and AJ.  AJ seems to realize The Handler put him up to this and tries to bargain with Number 5 to no avail.  But right before Number 5 could begin to attack AJ, the lady from the lodge’s reception desk appears out of nowhere, tackling Number 5.  She’s angry about the damage to the vending machine and intends to make him pay for it.  Which is fine and good, but still slightly confusing.  I mean, she does notice the multiple dead bodies lying around the room, right?  One would think dead bodies would outweigh a broken vending machine.  Anyway, Number 5 manages to knock her out.  But AJ took advantage of the distraction to try and make his getaway.  Of course, Number 5 manages to overtake him with his teleporting ability and smashes AJ’s glass jar head, which results in AJ flopping around on the floor.

Number 5 later meets up with The Handler, presenting her with AJ, who is now confined in a plastic baggie filled with water.  The Handler is visibly pleased to see AJ in this state.  However, Number 5 doesn’t share her excitement, stating he is not okay with the murders he’d committed, and he only went through with them for his family, and to save the world.  The Handler pretty much dismisses his misgivings over the deaths he’d caused and hands him a time traveling briefcase that will bring him and the other Hargreeves Siblings back to 2019.  However, as she turns to walk off, she tells Number 5 that he only has 90 minutes to use the time traveling briefcase.  Number 5 is aghast by this, as The Handler never mentioned there’d be a time limit.  And it will be quite difficult for him to successfully round up all the Hargreeves Siblings in only an hour and a half.  The Handler is not bothered by this, telling Number 5 that he’d better hurry.

We then cut to Klaus and Ben.  Klaus, knowing that Ben is wanting to possess his body again, is doing his best to prevent that by staying awake.  Ben points out that Klaus cannot possibly stay awake forever.  Sooner or later, he’s going to drift off, whether he likes it or not.  And I couldn’t help but giggle during this scene.  Every time Klaus’ eyelids drooped, when he opened his eyes again, Ben would be a little bit closer.  Something about this made me remember the Weeping Angels from Doctor Who.  Klaus begs Ben to give him a break, as he’s still upset over not being able to do anything to prevent Dave’s death, and he hates feeling this powerless.  To this, Ben retorts that he deals with that feeling every single day, and he hates having to watch Klaus make the same mistakes over and over again.  Upon hearing this, Klaus is reasonably remorseful towards his brother.  But not enough to allow Ben to possess him again.  He asks Ben why he’s so determined to take control of his body.  Ben explains that he wants to be able to actually speak with Jill, the young woman he fancies.  Upon hearing Ben’s reasons, Klaus finally relents and agrees to let Ben into the driver’s seat for a bit.  But only as long as Ben agrees to obey some ground rules.  For instance, no cutting Klaus’ hair and avoiding any dairy products.  (Guess Klaus is lactose intolerant?) Ben agrees to this, and so Klaus allows him to posses him.  Klaus-Ben then proceeds to relish in the ability to actually interact with the world around him.  Such as eating an orange and feeling dirt under his feet.  Finally, he is able to actually talk with and spend time with Jill.

Over at the farmhouse, Sissy and Vanya are biding their time, trying to make things appear normal so Carl doesn’t suspect their plans to run off together.  Of course, they don’t realize Carl already knows about them, so the scene has a tense overtone to it.  Sissy announces that she plans to take Harlan in for a checkup and asks Vanya if she’d like to come along.  Vanya agrees, suggesting that they swing by the park afterwards.  Clearly, this was their cover story to give them a chance to get a head start before Carl noticed they were missing.  However, Carl disrupts the plan, stating he wants Vanya to give him a ride over to Jim Garvey’s ranch.  Sissy tries to ague her case, stating Harlan likes it when Vanya goes along for his checkups, and her presence helps keep him calm, but Carl is insistent that Vanya goes with him.  Vanya assures Sissy that she’s okay with going with Carl to the ranch, nonverbally telling her that she’s fine with waiting a bit longer.  However, upon arriving at the ranch, Carl reveals to Vanya that he knows about her relationship with Sissy, stating that he will not allow such ‘unnaturalness’ to go on under his roof.  Vanya tells Carl that she’s not afraid of him.  In response to this, Carl threatens to send Harlan away to a facility “better equipped to handle his type.” Unless Vanya agrees to go away.  Vanya, out of a desire to protect Harlan and ensure Sissy won’t loose her son, agrees to leave the farmhouse.  Satisfied, Carl tells Vanya that he expects her to be gone by the time he returns home.

At the Chestnut household, Ray has received word that President Kennedy’s people reached out to their Civil Rights group.  It turns out their protest has gained their attention and they want to sit down and discuss things.  Allison voices her happiness over how things are looking up for Ray and his efforts, but says she’d prefer to sit this one out, stating that she doesn’t feel well.  You get the feeling that something is upsetting her, but she does her best to keep it to herself.  In the end, Ray heads off alone, promising to bring back some soup for her.  As he walks out, Allison tells him that she loves him, but Ray only responds with a smile.  Ray’s failure to say he loves her in return doesn’t improve Allison’s mood.

At Elliot’s apartment, Diego and Luther are gathered around Elliot’s body.  They agree that Elliot deserved better than this.  Diego wonders if the feds were responsible for Elliot’s death, but Luther points out that if the feds were involved, they would have taken Elliot away to question him.  Their attention is then drawn to the message the Swedes left behind, Oga for Oga.  Thinking that Oga is a person, Luther turns to the phone book to look her up, finding a listing for an Olga Foroga.  They proceed to call her up, and Diego threatens her.  But then Number 5 arrives on the scene and informs them that the message Oga for Oga isn’t a name, but a Swedish phrase that translates to ‘an eye for an eye.’  Therefore, it was the Swedes that killed Elliot.  Luther and Diego sheepishly claim they would have realized that eventually.  They then notice that Number 5 is still covered in blood, and Luther demands to know what Number 5 did.  It’s not clear if Number 5 told his brothers about what he had to do, but he does tell them he managed to make a deal to ensure they can all return to their own time, with both doomsdays being prevented.  They just have to find the others first.  Luther is tasked with fetching Allison, Diego is sent to find Klaus and Number 5 volunteers to get Vanya.  The three brothers then part ways, with Number 5 stating they’ll meet up at the alleyway where they first arrived in exactly 77 minutes.  Before they part, Diego questions what they’ll do about 1963 Reginald and President Kennedy.  In response, Number 5 reminds him that Elliot was killed because of them, and they are absolutely taking this chance to go home, before anything else happens.  Diego relents, but states he wants to say goodbye to Lila first.  In frustration, Number 5 informs Diego that Lila works for The Commission and was simply using Diego the whole time.  Diego is visibly upset, but makes it clear that he refuses to believe that Lila was using him.

At The Commission Headquarters, The Handler holds an emergency meeting.  She informs everyone that the entire board of directors were assassinated, and a full investigation is underway.  She goes on to say that she will be taking over as the head of The Commission, and the briefcase room will be temporarily closed as a safety precaution.  We see Lila is standing amongst the crowd, but she gives no indication how she feels about her adoptive mother taking control of The Commission.  After the emegency meeting, The Handler retreats to her new office and dumps AJ into a fish bowl.  She then proceeds to gloat a bit.  Lila, who is sitting nearby, asks if she really has to be there.  She’s clearly not sharing The Handler’s feeling of triumph over the successful coup. To try and get rid of Lila’s ‘bad attitude,’ The Handler gives her a badge that names her head of security.  Lila accepts the position, on the condition that she’s allowed to do things her own way.  The Handler agrees to this, stating Lila has earned this.

Luther approaches Allison, who is just coming back from the market.  He tells her that Number 5 found a way for them to return home.  Allison is stunned by the news, but is heartened by the notion that she might be able to see Claire again.  (Oh, good, she does remember her daughter.)  Of course, Luther admits he’s not sure what sort of world they’ll come back to.  Allison announces that she can’t handle losing people anymore.  She has doubts that Number 5 will get it right this time.  If he doesn’t, she might have to lose her brothers and sister all over again, and she can’t go through that again.  Luther does his best to console her, acknowledging that she’s right in saying it’s not fair that they can’t live normal lives.  However, he reminds her that they don’t belong in 1963, and they need to go back home.  At that moment, Ray returns home.  So Allison has to quickly fill Ray in, stating she and her siblings are going to have to return to 2019 that very day.  Ray is upset when he learns Allison will have to leave in 33 minutes, asking if there’s another way.  He clearly isn’t ready to say goodbye to her.  A tearful Allison asks Ray if he would go with her if she’d asked.  Ray ultimately decides he can’t leave the Civil Rights movement behind.  Even though Allison admits the fight is still going on in 2019, Ray knows his part of the fight is in 1963.  Which means that they have no choice than to part ways.  And they’re both grieving the fact that this is goodbye.  Allison offers to use her powers on Ray, to spare him from feeling sorrow over Allison’s imminent departure from his life.  Ray turns down the offer, stating he doesn’t want to forget Allison or the time they spent together.  And that he’d pick the year he spent with Allison over a lifetime with anyone else. They then kiss one last time.  But the moment is ruined when the Swedes show up at the door, posing as vacuum salesmen.  They quickly punch Allison in the throat, momentarily making her lose her voice so she can’t use her powers on them.  With Allison defenseless, they proceed to attack both her and Ray.  (And props to Ray, as he does put up a good fight.)  After a struggle, Allison manages to incapacitate the Swede attacking her by piercing his eye with a vaccuum attachment.  She then directs her attention on the Swede fighting with Ray and uses her powers on him, instructing him to kill his brother.  So the mind-controlled Swede turns on the other one.  When the deed is done, the last remaining Swede runs off, horrified over what he’d just done.

Meanwhile, Klaus-Ben is still spending time with Jill.  But things get complicated when Jill voices a desire to have sex.  Obviously, this is an issue, as Jill doesn’t realize that she’s actually talking to Ben and not Klaus.  So there’s an obvious dubious consent issue here.  Fortunately, Diego arrives to collect Klaus before anything could happen.  As Diego escorts Klaus-Ben away, Klaus-Ben reveals that he is actually Ben.  At first, Diego doesn’t believe him, thinking Klaus is simply high again.  Klaus-Ben offers to prove it, telling Diego to ask him something only Ben would know.  Deciding to play along, Diego asks Klaus-Ben what they reprogramed Allison’s Teddy Ruxpin to say when they were little.  (Wait, Allison had a Teddy Ruxpin?  Considering what Reginald was like, I wouldn’t think the Hargreeves Siblings were allowed to have toys.)  In response, Klaus-Ben responds with ‘Luther sniffs Dad’s underwear.’  This is enough to convince Diego that he really is talking to Ben.  And he has an emotional reaction to the knowledge that he’s speaking to his long-dead brother again.   Diego tells Ben to remain in Klaus’ body for a bit longer, as they need someone responsible in the driver’s seat for a while.  But Klaus-Ben asks if he can have ten more minutes before they leave to meet up with the others.  He obviously wants to see Jill one last time.  Diego, after a brief hesitation, states that there’s something he needs to do as well.  So he instructs Klaus-Ben to meet him in the alleyway in half an hour.  With that, Diego leaves.  But as soon as he does so, Ben starts to lose his control of Klaus’ body.  So Klaus-Ben has to hurry away to make it to the alleyway before Klaus can fully regain control.  As Klaus-Ben leaves the mansion, he is briefly held up by Keechie, who Klaus-Ben instructs to take over leadership of the cult.

Elsewhere, Vanya is driving back to the famhouse to pack her things and leave Sissy and Harlan behind, as Carl instructed.  And she is visibly upset over the situation.  En route to her destination, she passes by Number 5 on the road.  They both get out of their cars to talk.  Number 5 announces he was looking for her, stating that he found a way for them to return home and they only have half an hour to take it.  Vanya, however, hesitates, stating she can’t just leave her friends.  She insists on bringing them with her.  Number 5 tells her that’s not possible, as Vanya’s friends belong in this timeline, so they must stay where they are.  But Vanya is adamant, passionately stating that Sissy deserves better than being forced to pretend to be someone she’s not.  And Harlan can receive better, more understanding care in 2019 than he could get in the 1960s.  She goes on to say that a mother and her 8-year-old can hardly mess up the timeline, as they’re insignificant in the grand scheme of things.  Number 5 disagrees, stating nobody is insignificant.  He voices his sympathy to Vanya’s plight, but insists they cannot take the risk of bringing Sissy and Harlan with them.  This results in a real confrontation to occur between the two.  Vanya challenges Number 5, asking why he should be allowed to decide.  To this, Number 5 announces that if it wasn’t for him, they’d all be dead now, thanks to Vanya.  In seconds, Vanya and Number 5 are both staring each other down, with both of them activating their powers.  But this doesn’t really go anywhere, as Vanya backs down.  But she still asks Number 5 to allow her the time to say goodbye to Sissy, stating that if he won’t grant her that much then she simply won’t go back with them at all.  Without another world, Vanya turns to walk off, and Number 5 reluctantly agrees to Vanya’s terms, telling her to show up at the designated alley, and to not be late.

Still, when Vanya gets to the farmhouse, Sissy and Harlan are just coming back from the doctor’s office.  Despite what she’d told Number 5, Vanya is still planning on bringing them along.  Vanya tells Sissy that the time for them to leave is now, and they have to leave before Carl gets back.  Sissy is hesitant at first, believing that she owes Carl a final goodbye or something.  After all, he is still her husband.  But Vanya is insistent that she owes Carl nothing, telling her that he knows about them, and that he threated to send Harlan to an institution.  This is enough to convince Sissy to leave with Vanya right away.  But while Vanya escorts Harlan to the car, Sissy ducks back inside to retrieve he secret stash of cash.  However, Sissy then decides, rather foolishly, to leave a note behind for Carl anyway.  So they’re met with a police barricade.  One of the police officers, who Sissy identifies as her brother-in-law, accuses them of kidnapping Harlan.  Vanya ends up fighting back with her powers, which shocks Sissy.  When Vanya looks back at Sissy, as if to gauge her reaction to the revelation that she has powers, she is struck with the handle of a police-issued rifle and is knocked out, much to Sissy’s dismay.

As for Diego, he meets up with Lila while burying Elliot’s body.  Diego confronts Lila over how she’d lied to him over who she really was.  Lila states that everything else she told him was true, and that she only lied about her identity to protect him.  Diego isn’t mollified though.  He asks Lila if she has any idea how hard it is to trust people after spending an entire childhood being manipulated.  He then announces that, once he’s done burring Elliot, he’s going to go home and forget all about her.  Lila, when she realizes Elliot was killed by the Swedes, voices her sorrow over it, stating she liked Elliot and his crazy conspiracy theories.  She and Diego then share a drink in Elliot’s memory.  Only Diego realizes too late that Lila once again tricked him, as there was a sedative mixed into the drink.  Diego quickly loses consciousness.  He comes to later on, inside The Handler’s office, where Lila introduces him to The Handler.  And, to his confusion, Lila identifies Diego as her boyfriend.

The episode ends with Number 5, Luther and Klaus-Ben arriving at the alleyway, with Klaus’ body fully ejecting Ben the moment they arrive.  But because Allison was attacked by the Swedes, Diego was abducted by Lila and Vanya got held up and knocked out by the cops, they all failed to make it to the rendezvous spot in time.  Number 5 vents over how his siblings couldn’t handle the simple task of getting to the alleyway in time.  (Hopefully, he’ll feel bad about that statement when he realizes that Allison, Vanya and Diego weren’t late on purpose.)  When the time traveling briefcase activates, Number 5 is forced to throw it away, resulting in it entering the time vortex without them.  So the Hargeeeves Siblings have lost what might have been their only chance at returning to 2019 and resorting the timeline.

Closing thoughts/questions:

Yeah, I get why Number 5 and Luther were upset over how Allison, Diego and Vanya didn’t make it to the alleyway in time.  But it was still presumptuous of them to conclude that it was due to their own ineptitude or inability to follow directions.  Did it not occur to either of them that something happened to them?  

Come to think of it, why didn’t Luther stick around while Allison said goodbye to Ray?  At the very least, he could have waited outside while she had her final moment with him.  Instead, he up and heads off without her?  Because if he had stuck around, he might have been able to help her fight The Swedes.  And then they could have both made it on time.  (Sure, Diego and Vanya would have still been held up, but still.)

I wonder if Ben will be able to communicate with the other Hargreeves Siblings.  After all, Diego now knows Ben is around and can possess Klaus.  So, if he can get back to the others, he’s sure to tell them about it.

I really hope Sissy and Harlan will be able to get away.  Because they absolutely cannot remain with Carl after this.

My appreciation for Ray just keeps growing.  I feel so bad for him!  Because the love story he had going on with Allison was so beautiful.  It’s made even more lovely with him saying he wouldn’t change a thing about their time together, even though he knows it would never last.  It’s so wonderfully bittersweet!  At least Allison knows what a good, healthy relationship looks like now.

Clearly, Lila does care about Diego.  I wonder if that will be enough for her to turn against The Handler.  I just get the feeling that she’s no longer feeling loyal to her adoptive mother anymore.  So I wonder what she’s got up her sleeve. 

#umbrella acedmy #umbrella academy 2x07 #tua

[fasa-umich]

Bea Fandiño, 2019-2020 FASA Performance Chair

The Start of Something New

Flashback to 363 days ago. It’s FASA E-Board election day, I had barely slept the night before, I’m quaking in my boots the entire afternoon, and I’m with Hannah Banana Anderson bopping [to the top] to all the HSM hits in attempt to deflect the feels.

Music just has that power to take you to another world, ya know?

In fact, that was exactly my motivation behind running for Performance Chair. In my experience, performance, all its forms, offers an opportunity unlike any other. Whether you are sharing your passions on stage or witnessing that passion from the audience, performance has the ability to connect people, regardless of different backgrounds. It’s for this reason that I really tried to push our members to figure out their purpose behind performing with FASA. Who am I dancing for? How does this piece play a role in culture? With the constant laughs and hard work that come with rehearsals, it’s easy to get caught up in the fun of everything. But it’s also important to remember the “why.”

Okay, I’ll step off my soapbox now, thanks for coming to my TED Talk.

#LongLiveFASADance

Performance this year was no easy feat, let me tell you. We jumped right into the game with Kalayaan rehearsals in May, then there was CAPA Asian Fest in July, then PCN, then Battle of the Bamboo, and other small performance cameos from our members in between (e.g. L’anse Creuse’s cultural showcase, the A/PIA Showcase, jam sessions, and external PCN’s). Essentially, there was always something to do; because when you’re in the middle of rehearsals for one event, you’re also busy figuring out the details and choreo for the next event, while at the same time making sure you are there to support your fellow board members planning FASA’s other events.

With that being said, I absolutely could not have done this without the help of E-Board. Coming into this position, I know there was some concern with only one individual trying to juggle a two-person job. But to be honest, I wasn’t that worried (lol I’m not trying to be cocky, I promise). Because from Day 1, my board was behind me, always checking in to see how I was doing, bringing me food when I forgot meals were a thing people did here, and never failing to offer a helping hand, even when I was stubborn and tried not to take it. Thank you guys for holding my hand through this entire process. Our board meetings are what got me through the week, and there is absolutely no other group I’d rather go through hell and back with.

My ride or dies

In particular, there are a few people I especially need to thank:

AJ, I sometimes joked that you were my informal co-chair—but seriously, I could not have done this without you. From helping clean Kalayaan rehearsals to choreographing a Modern Tinik set to teaching our costume committees how to sew (and even to reserving hotel rooms because I’m scared of adulting), you were integral in keeping performance on track [and keeping me sane].

Ate Angela, wow oh wow. You not only choreographed a killer Modern Tinik dance, but you also COMPOSED (:O) FASA’s first-ever traditional music set (#GongGang). Thank you for not only being patient with the ever-changing room and music requests, but also bringing your positivity and hilarious wit to every practice.

EJ—Edgy—I don’t know how I would have handled Battle without your help. Despite the many last-minute changes along the way, you powered through it, even though you were never obligated to. Your creative direction shaped our Battle set, and it was an honor leading my last performance chant with you (I know I’m a sap, sorry not sorry).

🎵We’re all in this together 🎵

At the same time, I owe so much of our success with performance to our general members. FASA, your enthusiasm and drive were contagious and are what kept me motivated through the craziness. Thank you for putting up with the many late nights, for checking up on me when I seemed to be losing my marbles, and for always coming to practice with a smile on your face. Whether you are a first-year exploring your culture for the first time, a sophomore I forced highly encouraged to join the group, or a senior making the most of your last moments in college, I hope you were able to take away something valuable from FASA Performance this year. Everything we accomplished would not have been possible without your ongoing efforts and commitment.

THE TEAM, THE TEAM, THE TEAM

To whoever is graced with the position of Performance Chair(s) in the future, here are a few words of wisdom from this old retired chum:

You do NOT need previous dance experience to succeed in this role. I had never seriously danced before—the most I had ever done was a mediocre attempt at tap for a high school production, and clearly that wasn’t going to be useful for FASA. YouTube is your friend, and definitely enlist other people to help out with choreography.

Be both proactive and reactive. As an extremely detail-oriented person, I always tried to plan ahead with as many details figured out as possible. But the reality is that your plans might suddenly be thwarted due to external factors you simply cannot control. Anticipate issues before they arise and create backup plans, but also be prepared to make last-minute adjustments when the world decides to surprise you.

Don’t be afraid to break “tradition.” Things may have been done one way in the past, but that is by no means a precedent you absolutely have to follow. Take into consideration what has gone well in previous years and what hasn’t. This year I wanted to maintain the strength of FASA Dance while building on the other aspects of performance (i.e. spoken word and traditional instruments) that last year’s performance chairs tried to introduce. Knowing that former hell weeks sometimes went as late as three or four in the morning, I also made it a goal to avoid this by drafting consistent schedules and putting dancers to work right from the beginning so that by the time hell week came, we were in a good place; and it worked. Learn from past experiences and use that as a basis for how you want to carry the position moving forward.

Know your limits. This includes the limits of not just yourself, but also of your board and general members. Various opportunities for performance will arise throughout the year; and while you may be tempted to take all of them, there might be some points where you just have to say no. Be cognizant of your own schedule, board’s responsibility for other events, and the energy of your general members. At the end of the day, you want to be able to give 110% to whatever performances you commit to, and it’s not worth it to spread the organization too thin.

Going off of the previous note, ASK FOR HELP. I was pretty infamous for failing to do this first semester. As the year progressed, though, I found the value in delegating tasks right from the start, instead of trying things out on my own and waiting until I was overwhelmed to ask for help. Designate committee leaders. Keep communication upfront and consistent. Doing so will allow you to better handle your duties and more easily offer help to other boardies. Just because you can do it, that doesn’t mean you should.

🎵Everyone: “I don’t dance.” FASA: “I say you can.” 🎵

All in all, yeah. Performance Chair was a lot. But 100% worth it. Would I do it again? Never. But I loved every second of it. Because of how closely you work with everyone for each performance, this position offers you the unique opportunity to not only build relationships across all grade levels, but also watch members grow throughout the year. It’s a lot of chaos—but it’s beyond fulfilling to see the moving parts come together.

Maraming at maraming salamat, FASA. Thank you for the laughs, for the hours upon hours you gave to rehearsals, for the many blooper-worthy goofy moments. But most of all, thank you for trusting me. It’s been an honor growing with you.

Mahal na mahal kita,

Bea Fandiño

#2019.20 #FASAPerformance

[blogbatsinthebelfrylove]

To the one who took me for granted

I have written you this letter 1000 times. I still have the original copy but that copy doesn't matter anymore. I need you to know that I love you and I care for you and your daughter more than I could ever begin to express. But I have had a lot of time to think and I have come to accept what I have been trying to deny for a very long time. I have a lot of potential and I still have a ways to go. And I just don't know that you are in a place in your life to handle a woman like me. I don't want to stop where I’m at. I don't want this to be it. I want a family. I want a career. I want a life that I can look forward to. I want someone I can depend on. Someone who will have my back through thick and thin. I can't handle someone who runs away when things get rocky. I need Someone That will be my ride or die. That I don't have to ask to be there. Someone that will just be there. I want someone that I don't have to wonder if they're going to come home tonight. I don't want someone that I have to hope that they will continue to come home when they're here. I don't want someone that will leave me in the dark...wondering what it is that I've done wrong that could cause them to treat me a certain way. I don't want to allow someone to treat me that way because I deserve better. I want someone who just knows and doesn't even have to be told or asked, even if they don't know all of the time. and I love you with all of me but I think you know just as well as I do that we're not meant to be- not right now at least. We are very different people. But no matter what I will always love you and I will always be your friend and I will always be here for you as long as you allow me to be. I hope when you decide to dedicate yourself to staying clean and get your life together that you will do great things because I know you have a lot of potential. I know you have it in you because I've seen it when the Sparks light up - when you have that little glimmer of hope in your eyes. I love you always and forever and maybe this isn't goodbye, but it's goodbye for now. I love you. I didn't want to give this to you until I was sure, but unfortunately I'm sure enough that you have received it. I am there. I've given you every opportunity to get your life together and to be my ride or die and you've shrugged it off like it was nothing time after time. I want someone who will grow with me. I want someone who will fight and hustle with me. I want a partner. I want a friend. I want a lover. Someone I can fall asleep with and be held or hold every single night. Someone I can count on. And you've bailed on me time and time again. And by doing that you're just reminding me that I don't need you I want you. And what you have been giving me is not what I want. I am truly truly sorry for that. For me and for you. Because I know how well we work together-when things are going well. We are a perfect match. We are very different and we butt heads but in the ways that matter we are the same and when you're good, you're good. You're great actually. You are chivalrous. You are kind. You're affectionate. You're loving. You are everything I have ever hoped for and dreamed of. But right now you are not offering me enough to give me hope that there is anything to hang onto or fighting for-to be able to count on. And there comes a point when enough is enough and I love you, more than you could ever understand. And you're going to be mad and you're going to be hurt and unfortunately I'm afraid you're going to spiral out but I can't let that hold me back from what I want and what I need in my life. If you truly do want to be with me or if you just want to better your life you know what you have to do. But I'm tired of feeling like I'm the only one that puts in effort-most of the time at least. Every once in a while you will put forth that effort and it will be just enough to sustain me to keep fighting-to give me hope...But it's just not enough anymore and I don't think you will ever understand how sorry I am or how hard this was for me. I know you're not gonna talk to me for a while and I'm sure I won't see or hear from you for a while. And you probably will use heavily and make many poor choices and that makes me very sad for not only you, but for your daughter. I hope I'm wrong....that's just what I'm afraid of. She deserves a good life. A happy life. A stable home environment. She deserves the best. And I hope that one day you will be healthy enough to give that to her. I know that you can. I do love you though. And my love never goes away. You will always have a place in my heart. And I have to hold out hope that maybe one day we can come back together and be great again. For more than just a month or six months at a time but right now I don't think you're ready…Right now you're high, and you won't feel it. But eventually you'll have to come down and you will and when you do I hope that you will reach out and get help. Whether it's from me or family or someone/something else. I'm sorry things had to end this way. I'd hoped to be able to talk to you in person...to get a hug....a good one...but you're too high to care or show. I do love you though...so much. If you want to talk you know where I am and how to get a hold of me. I do love you though, and maybe you truly don't care. Either way it is what it is.

4-13-17

Today I am moving the last of your things out. You refuse to read this letter…. But I’m giving it to you again. Whether you want it or not, it is yours now. Today – if you had stayed clean – would have been 1 month. If you had actually wanted your life back and everything that came with it – today would have been the day you could have moved back in. goodbye love, I will truly miss you both. 

         AJ

#love letter #goodbye letter #LGBT poetry #spoken poetry #spoken word #spoken thoughts #4am thoughts #I'll miss you #ill never be over it #ill never fo

[mhsn033]

AJ Tracey: ‘There’s no massive machine pushing me’

Checklist copyright Press See

There are two framed soccer shirts proudly displayed aspect by aspect on the wall of AJ Tracey’s dwelling.

The main is a signed Tottenham shirt from the final of the 2019 Champions League. The membership formulation every little thing to him.

The opposite is a Paris Saint-Germain shirt, signed by the man whose name reflects a pivotal second in AJ’s occupation – Thiago Silva.

Since his leap forward 2016 duet with Dave, the 26-year-passe has never seemed abet.

He’s one of the critical most winning rappers within the UK, and has two singles within the tip ten: West Ten (with Mabel) and Dinner Customer (with Mostack).

AJ says he is carried out his occupation his formulation and remained an neutral artist. To mirror that, he’ll receive the Innovator award at next month’s AIM Impartial Music Awards in London.

He spoke to Radio 1 Newsbeat a pair of “crazy and historical” 2020, his occupation, soccer, Dim Lives Topic and being “a nerd”.

AJ Tracey on… Staying neutral

I’m able to ideal talk for myself, however being neutral is the appropriate formulation you realize that the harsh work you keep in has been yours and yours alone.

There are some artists which possess success being on a tale designate, and some possess success being neutral, and I’m contented for each person.

You if truth be told realize how great effort it’s possible you’ll possibly need keep in and also you in point of truth find the fruits of your labour by being neutral.

Contrary to popular belief, it be correct me and my little team. There could be no massive machine within the abet of me pushing the relaxation.

If I utilize a loss it be my loss to undergo. If I gain, it used to be my call and we won.

Checklist copyright Getty Photos

Checklist caption The rapper won Finest British Music for Ladbroke Grove on the 2020 NME Awards

AJ Tracey on… Family

Remaining neutral formulation things possess got more straightforward for me because after I first started making tune, my predominant goal used to be to motivate my family.

Obviously I desired to find pleasure from the tune and construct ingenious success, however I desired to give my family a chance to are living a better existence.

I’ve carried out that now by buying my mum a condominium. No matter I enact now is a bonus.

Signing a tale deal would possess given me financial comfort however now I’ve carried out it my formulation, it would not in point of truth matter.

AJ Tracey on… Dim Lives Topic

We’ve made our voices heard and in addition they want to proceed to be heard.

I’m an avid supporter of the Grenfell effect of abode off too and I possess all these varied injustices that happen to us as a folk formulation something wants to swap.

If it takes us going out of doors right by a world pandemic to provide folk realise, then I don’t tips striking myself at anxiety to trace you that we must be handled equally.

On the opposite hand great success I if truth be told possess, I’m a shadowy man and that is what it comes down to and until I’m handled devour all my other counterparts, something wants to swap.

AJ Tracey on… Missing are living gigs

I knew I would leave out are living shows however I didn’t know to what extent and it be been in point of truth tough because I possess it be my existence. It supplies me vitality and I if truth be told devour interacting with fans.

I desire I could well existing the excitement I find off doing a trace.

Or not it’s devour occurring a rollercoaster for the first time. No longer the second or third time you breeze it, however that thrill of the very first time you ride it.

Checklist caption On stage at BBC Radio 1Xtra are living in Birmingham in 2019

Going on stage is devour an excitable fear. You possess to take into accout there is a crowd of 40,000 folk waiting to acquire you. That is intense while you happen to suppose the inaccurate ting or time out up or omit your lyrics.

After I pull it off and I hit every lyric completely and find the crowd’s reaction – there’s nothing devour it.

AJ Tracey on… Finding out tune in lockdown

I’ve been making an try to give a enhance to my craft as a musician and a producer.

I cannot play keyboard so I’ve been studying notes and the numerous between the total keys and the octaves.

I desire I would taken tune extra severely in school for the reason that technicals are so factual to perceive.

If I could well play keyboard then I would be a total other stage of artist. So I’m making an try to be taught it.

AJ Tracey on… Tottenham’s season

Plenty of the boys are in point of truth my mates so it be a dinky of a tightrope to talk about however if I keep out a tune that each person would not devour, it’s possible you’ll possibly need got to take into accout I’m human and I would possess idea it used to be factual.

If that is the case, I had the most productive intentions and I’ve never tried to let any individual down – so I undergo that in tips for the footballers.

Most of them are folk and if they’ve a inaccurate bustle, they’ve a inaccurate bustle.

Checklist copyright Getty Photos

Checklist caption AJ met with the Spurs team, at the side of Harry Kane, final year

This year we correct want to chalk it up as an all correct season. We didn’t enact our simplest however we gave our all and we carried out above Arsenal so that’s all factual.

One thing I didn’t deem would impact me as great because it would used to be not going to the soccer.

Me and my dinky brother don’t are living within the a associated household so I don’t find him that great.

The suitable time we find to link up is on the soccer and we breeze and find Tottenham every other weekend. And I’ve in point of truth overlooked it.

AJ Tracey on… Being a nerd

I if truth be told were a right fan of Zelda my total existence. My core fans will know that I if truth be told devour video games. I’m smitten by Mario, Zelda, Kirby, Pokemon – I if truth be told devour it.

I’m a true abundant nerd.

Or not it’s funny after I link up with obvious artists and in addition they find at me and my mates and we’re chatting about Zelda.

They possess to deem ‘what’s occurring?’

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[the-walking-memelords]

Allegiances: Chapter 8

Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 |Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 9

Series is rated M

Word Count: 3278

Louis briefly manages to pull Clementine away from her work for a card game, the experience making her decide to be a little more open with some of her new friends.

Read it on Ao3!

Read it on Wattpad!

Beads of sweat dripped down Clementine’s forehead as she stood under the late afternoon sun, her jacket and hoodie discarded across a nearby couch. She held her breath as she lined up her arrow. The wooden target swung slightly in the light breeze, arrows sticking out around the red painted bullseye mocking her faulty aiming.

This is easier with a gun.

Her fingers felt raw against the rough wood as she released the arrow. It stuck with a satisfying thunk just barely within the center circle.

“You’re uh, getting pretty good at that.” A nervous voice came from behind her. She turned to see Marlon standing hesitantly a few feet back, his own compound bow in his grip.

“I don’t think I’ve seen you drop that bow all week.”

“It's been a long time since I shot a bow.” She twirled another arrow in her fingers, barely looking at the blond boy.

“I need to get used to it again.”

“Mind if I… join you?”

Probably easier for him to talk to me now that that damn bruise is gone.

“Just don’t get in my way.” She spat, pulling the other arrows from the wood.

They each took turns firing at the target, the former leader having no problems hitting the bullseye. Clem bit her lip in frustration as her arrows landed scattered across the different rings of the target. Once the arrows ran out Clementine leaned against the couch with a sigh. Had this been a real competition, Marlon would have won by a mile.

“You're too good at this.” She said as the boy plucked out the arrows.

“I’ve had a lot of practice.” He smiled

“Though I imagine if we were shooting guns instead of bows you would be the one schooling me here.”

“I don’t doubt that.” She managed a chuckled.

Marlon still seemed a little nervous to be around her, but grateful he was able to do so. Unlike someone else, she was at least willing to give him the time of day.

“Did you talk to Brody recently?” She asked but the sombre look in his eyes told her he hadn’t.

“She won’t even look at me.” He sighed, crossing his arms.

“She’s been avoiding me like the plague for over a week.”

“You put her through a lot.” Clementine shrugged.

“Now that she has other people to open up to it’s going to take a while for her to be around you again.”

“I don’t expect her to forgive me, and honestly I don’t deserve it.” His gaze fell to the dirt.

“I put her through hell for the past year all because I was too afraid to tell everyone the truth. I hurt her… so much… because I am a coward.”

Marlon’s voice broke as he tried to get the words out. Clementine couldn’t help but pity him. It sometimes felt hard to judge him too harshly. Hurting others to protect someone you care about rang pretty close to home for her.

“I just have to let her go.” He decided.

“Brody and I… I don’t know what we were… before the twins were taken. Everything changed once that happened. The feelings were still there, but they were all so… twisted.”

“That might be for the best.” Clem flashed a small smile.

“There’s no point in trying to force it if it just makes you both miserable.”

“Yeah.” He nodded with a slight smirk, examining the bow in his hands.

“We’re not like you and Louis.”

“Excuse me?” Clementine choked on her own spit. She coughed for a moment as heat rushed to her cheeks.

Please don’t tell me he thinks there’s something going on between me and Louis.

“Oh, nothin’.” He teased.

Clementine crossed her arms with a huff. She knew her face was bright red. She wondered what gossip had spread about them.

“Try shooting with this one.” He held the compound bow out to her, changing the subject back to archery. “It’s a lot better than those wooden ones we scavenged.”

Clementine took the bow. The fact that it was metal made it significantly heavier than the other one she had been using. Pulling back the bowstring took extra effort, making her overworked muscles even sorer. She fought against the discomfort as she lined up her shot. The arrow flew with a lot more power, dropping less mid-air before it sunk into the middle of the target.

“I finally got it!” Clem smiled proudly.

“Indeed you did.” The boy smirked.

Clementine looked over the bow one more time before handing it back to Marlon.

“Keep it.” He said, refusing to accept it.

“You’re the protector these people deserve. You should have the best weapon.”

“Thank you.” She nodded, wanting to feel happy but unable to shake the claws of anxiety digging into her chest. Clementine wasn’t sure if she would be able to live up to Marlon’s words.

I have to be certain.

The bow suddenly felt heavier in her hands

I don’t have room to second-guess myself.

A week of deliberation did nothing to help Clementine fully make up her mind. She knew what Lilly was capable of, the lengths that evil bitch would go to to get her way. If worse came to worst, Clementine was afraid she would have to abandon her new friends to keep AJ safe.

God, when was the last time I saw him?

She had been denied the opportunity to say goodbye before they loaded her onto the ship. Closer to cargo than to a member of the group.

Thirty-two days ago.

It was a thought that slowly picked away at her heart, shaking the ground beneath her as she tried her best to stay on her feet.

“Clementine?”

Her eyes shot open as she blinked back the first pricklings of tears. Clem felt as if she had lost time as she realized her surroundings, a concerned Marlon included.

“Sorry, I just… zoned out.” She laughed weakly.

“It’s too hot out here.”

“I see you two are getting along finally.” The cheerful voice of Louis chimed as he approached, smiling hopefully.

“Don’t push your luck.” Clementine smirked at the freckled boy, trying to calm the gnawing feeling in her chest.

“What’s up, Lou?” Marlon asked his best friend.

“I uh, wanted to talk to Clem for a minute.” Louis said, scratching the back of his head.

“Really?” The blond teased.

“Dude, shut up.”

“Can we go inside?” Clementine suggested, wiping the sweat off her forehead with her bare arm. The sun felt like daggers in her somewhat watery eyes.

“Sure.” Louis cast one final glare towards Marlon before he lead her towards the admin building.

---

“Where are you taking me?” Clem asked as she hurriedly followed behind the taller boy, her steps moving twice as fast to keep up with his longer strides.

“It’s a surprise.”  He kept facing forward but his smile was wide enough for Clem to see how the corners of his mouth curled upward.

“Trust me, it’ll be worth the suspense.”

“Are you always this dramatic?” She giggled as she followed him up a winding stairwell. Their footsteps echoed as they ascended.

“I prefer charming and theatrical.” He winked, slightly out of breath as they continued to climb.

“Entertaining is another word that comes to mind.”

They climbed flight after flight until they finally reached the top. Clementine leaned against the railing, panting from her efforts to keep pace with him.

Why are tall people so damn fast?

The top of the stairwell ended in a small room. Cobwebs hung from every corner and a layer of dust covered the floor, their footprints being the only thing that had disturbed it in some time. Louis stood in front of an old rusted metal door, hand reaching back to the handle as he faced Clementine. Golden rays of the outside sunset peeked over his shoulder through the cracked glass window of the door, causing the boy to be slightly silhouetted

“Right this way, my lady.” He struggled with the rusted handle for a moment before getting it to open. The door squeaked loudly on its hinges as Clementine stepped past him onto the outside roof.

She squinted, using her hand to shield her eyes from the light of the sun as it hung just above the treeline. From up here, Clementine could just barely see overtop of the expansive forest that surrounded their school. Puffy clouds scattered the sky above, painted in soft, warm hues by the sinking sun. The dark trees reached for the heavens with their pointy branches, unable to taint the beauty of the sky with the corruption of the earth below.

“It’s incredible up here.” Clementine gasped.

“I know, right?” He took a spot beside her.

“It feels so suffocating down there sometimes, almost like we’re stuck in a cage. But up here? It’s like we’re above everything like nothing can touch us.”

“Free.” She said softly, admiring how the sun turned his soft brown eyes to pools of honey.

“Exactly. It’s easy to forget that there’s a big wide world out there.” His face seemed wistful as if he was stranded.

“You’re the only one here who’s seen it. The way it is now, at least.”

“There’s not much to see I’m afraid.” Nothing but the dead for as far as you could go, and worse, the occasional living.

“Everything out there is either overgrown or broken down.”

“There’s gotta be something left to enjoy.” He jammed his hands into the pockets of his trenchcoat.

“But hey! Since we can't on a vacation out there, how about we have a little one right here.”

“Uh, what?” Clem raised an eyebrow at him as he grinned.

“How is this a vacation?”

“Simple. People go on vacations to get away, right? Have some fun? Well, up here, we can forget about all of the other bullshit going on down there. No walkers. No people. No stress or worries!” He spun as he let his theatrics take over for a moment before slowing again, pulling his card deck from his pocket and holding out towards her.

“One game?”

How could I refuse?

“What’s the game?” Clementine accepted the halved deck, kicking a few broken twigs out of the way as they sat on the roof facing each other.

“Twenty Questions. Nothing crazy.” He smiled, shuffling his half of the cards.

Simple and fun!”

Her heart fluttered as she messed with her own deck, pulling her first card. Her seven of spades defeated his five of diamonds.

“So…” She smiled devilishly as she held up the winning card.

“How’d you lose that tooth?”

“When I was thirteen I was doing this song and dance routine out in the yard trying to annoy slash cheer up Violet into smiling for a change.” He chuckled at the memory.

“There was one part where I jumped onto the picnic table, but my foot slipped on the seat and I hit my face off it instead.”

“Seriously? That’s what you did?” Clementine couldn't help but burst into laughter at the mental image.

“Hey. I’ll have you know it worked like a charm.” He smirked, shaking his head.

“Violet didn’t stop laughing at me for a week.”

He’s such a dork.

Clem continued to giggle as she drew another card, pulling the high card once more.

“Two in a row.” She pondered what to ask.

“Hmm… Where are you from, before everything?”

Louis looked down for a moment, biting his lip. Clementine felt a tinge of regret as she hoped she hadn’t brought up any painful memories.

“You don’t have to answer tha-”

“New York City, actually.” He cut her off.

“Always loud and busy all the time, but the skyline at night was a sight to die for.”

He looked off towards the woods sadly. Louis really was a long way from home.

“You usually couldn’t see any stars from all the lights on the buildings, but those were pretty enough to admire.”

“I grew up on the outside of Atlanta.” She reminisced.

“Born and raised in the same house before everything changed. I’ve been all over since then.”

All these years later but if Clementine went back to her old home tomorrow, she knew she could walk the halls blindfolded.

“My parents and I went into the city all the time, I used to love it when we drove past the skyscrapers.”

They shared an empathetic smile, silently flipping over their next cards. Louis’ king of hearts gained him a victory against her four of clubs.

“Third time’s the charm!” He cheered, holding the card high.

“Just ask your damn question.”

“What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Surely a badass like you has had a few interesting adventures.”

Clementine paused to think for a moment, attempting to pick a story he would find most impressive.

“I once helped a former baseball player overthrow a corrupt government and save an entire community from a herd of walkers.”

Louis’ jaw dropped. He stared at her in awe, completely speechless.

“His name was Javier Garcia, he was pretty cool. His nephew, Gabe, was really sweet. I hadn’t met someone my age in forever.” She smiled as she thought of another card-playing dork she once knew.

“I miss him.”

“Was he uh, good looking?” Louis’ smile dropped as he stared at his deck.

What kind of question is that?

“I didn’t think about that, but he was cool, I guess” Clem was confused why that was the part he was interested in.

“The city of Richmond used to be run by a group called the New Frontier, lead by this psycho bitch who raided other towns to get supplies.”

Clementine’s right hand scratched hesitantly just above her left elbow. She took a deep breath, finally deciding to roll the sleeve of her henley shirt up farther, revealing the circular branding scar.

“I used to run with them before Javi showed up, this was their initiation.” She bit her lip, the feeling of the red hot metal scorching her flesh still a crisp memory.

“That is fucked.” Louis said plainly, staring at the angry red mark.

“How could you let them do that to you?”

“I didn’t have a choice. I was all alone, barely able to keep myself going and I…” She trailed off, digging her nails into her palms as she tried to remain calm.

“I had… someone… I needed to protect.”

Clementine pulled her legs up to her chest, resting her chin on her knee. She watched the sun dip below the trees, unable to look back at Louis.

“I’m sorry.” Louis apologized.

“I didn’t mean to bring back bad memories.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Lou.” She assured, hiding the brand once more.

“I’m alright.”

The first cold breeze of the night blew past them, causing goosebumps to form over her exposed skin.

Dammit, I left my jacket down there.

“I think it might be time to bring this vacation to an end.” Louis stood, offering the shorter girl his hand.

“Let's get inside before you freeze.”

She graciously took his hand, bringing herself to her feet. Clem’s face felt warm while the rest of her was chilled. Hardly thinking, she wrapped her arms around the freckled boy. Her arms wrapped around his torso inside of his coat, head resting on his chest. His heart rate picked up, causing her own heart to feel giddy. Louis immediately returned the surprise embrace, wrapping his coat around her. Neither spoke before she pulled away, the boy releasing her.

“Thank you, Louis.” She brushed a few loose curls behind her ear.

“I needed this.”

Through the last light of day that dwindled on the horizon, she could see his cheeks dusted red.

“I can’t wait for our next ‘vacation.’” She smirked at the flustered boy before making her way back inside.

Maybe next time we can actually call it a date.

---

Clementine yawned as she read over the school map for what felt like the millionth time. The flickering candle was the only thing dimly lighting the music room. The pale moonlight barely able to shine through the clouds outside. The tip of her pencil lightly traced the creases in the paper as she tried to organize the new defences. The barbed wire had been set, the sharp coils guarding the top of the brick walls that surrounded their home.

This won't be enough.

A few practice drills and barbed wire wouldn’t be enough to hold off Lilly and the others. Somehow, Clementine was going to have to turn these teenagers into real fighters. The collection date was fast approaching, less than a week before the Delta would come knocking on their door. She used what remained of her closely chewed nails to scratch the wooden writing desk.

“Clementine?” Violet’s voice broke her out of her thoughts.

“Shit, Vi you scared the hell out of me.” Clem practically jumped from her chair upon hearing her friend’s voice.

“Sorry, I just uh… wanted to talk to you.” The blonde seemed on edge. Clementine was starting to think it was something she’d done to make them act this way around her.

“About what?”

“Well, about that.” She gestured to the map that Clem had been practically burning holes in with her eyes.

“You spend almost all your free time locked away with that thing.”

“I’m planning our new defences.” She looked back to the paper. Every mark, fold and tear was already memorized in her brain.

“Yeah? Well, it seems more like you’re gearing up for war.” Violet said almost accusingly as she crossed her arms.

“What’s going on with you?”

“I just want us to be ready for anything.” She scribbled on the desk with her pencil tight in her grip.

“Well, it feels like you’re getting us ready for something.” Violet walked around her to be back in her line of sight.

Shit.

“I’m not a dumbass, Clem. You’re worried about something out there. The drills, the training, this fucking map.” She sat on the edge of the table.

“You know the outside world better than any of us.”

Clementine’s heart started to race as she waited for what her friend would say next.

“Do you know something?”

The graphite tip of her pencil snapped She let it clatter onto the desk as she took a deep breath. Clementine felt almost as if she was back in that train station. Her little boy’s life hanging in the balance of the words she spoke.

“I-I…” She tried to find the right words.

“I know… of… something.”

A lie, but not quite. The truth, but not full. Something of a balance between the two.

“There’s a war going on up north. Two communities at each other’s throats. I’ve been trying to get away from it for a long time.” She still couldn’t meet Violet’s eye.

“One of the communities has been moving farther and farther in this direction. If they find you, they’ll take you. Make you fight for them. If you don’t, they’ll hurt you, or they’ll hurt someone you love.”

“Shit.” Violet cursed.

“Do you… do you think that’s what happened to Minnie and Soph?”

Clementine finally looked up at her. Violet’s face was twisted with grief as if she had just lost the twins all over again.

“Yes, I do.”

A heavy silence hung between them for a moment. Violet began to pace the room a bit, contemplating this new threat.

“If you’re right, and they come back for the rest of us…” The blonde panicked.

“What are we going to do?”

“We’re going to fucking fight.”

#clouis #louistine #louisentine #fanfic #allegiances #my writing

[kulichangblog]

My Journey so far as a makeup Artist, famous makeup artist Awele Aina Speaks

Famous makeup artist Awele Aina Speaks – Awele Aina is the Artistic Director for Elise Claire Cosmetics USA Nigeria. She is a renowned celebrity makeup artist, global beauty influencer and photographer with over 7 years experience in the makeup industry. Her signature style leaves her special clients feeling exhilarated from the natural glow she gives them.

She named her business after her Oriki calling it “Awele” she is a highly sort after makeup artist and has worked on the set of many local and international music videos, editorial spreads, movies, magazine, campaigns, fashion shows and Tv commercials.Over the years, Awele Aina has trained over 10,000 students through various platform: master class, monthly class, one on one class and brush up classes in almost every major city in Nigeria.

What earns Awele Aina a spot in the beauty industry is her flawless coverage and finish, her clients can’t get enough of the effortless looking soft finish she leaves on them.Some of her notable clientele include Director Mattmax (official makeup artist) Clarence Peters, Adasa Cookey, Aje Films, Unlimited LA, Moe Musa, Sesan Ogunro, Patrick Elis, Mex Films, Hg2Films, Adams Gud, AY Live Show, Dynamics Award, Ovation Magazine, Vita Foam Ltd, The Slay Network USA, Tecno Mobile, Stanbic IBTC, Tush Magazine and more

We interview her during the week and she has this to say about  her journey so far as a Nigerian makeup artist

Question

1. Tell us how being a makeup artist all started with you?

Answer: I got into makeup professionally in 2012. Since the age of fifteen, my passion and enthusiasm for makeup started, I’m always asking my mum about makeup, what it was and what each thing does. I loved looking at magazines, I started browsing makeup sites every day on the computer and i got to know the products quite well and see many looks,  with all my passion for makeup I didn’t think it was possible to have a career in it, I was just doing the regular day job and took makeup more like a hobby. I believe in not just going on YouTube. I believe in going to school before starting any serious business.

So I attended Make-Up Designatory Academy (MUD) Makeup School, I did three months professional course. I wanted to learn things like skin care, skin tones, skin correction and everything that has to do with makeup. Then I started networking; that was where I had the most challenge, how to market myself. I started calling directors that I’m a makeup artist and I’ll like to work with them and I remembered the only question they would ask me is that “how did you get my number? And I’ll tell them that my Uncle Dj Jimmy Jatt gave me, I used my uncle name as strategy to market myself as much as possible.

Obviously, you have to first work for free when you start out; that’s unavoidable. This is because if you if you don’t have a portfolio, how will people get to know what you can do? So I paid my dues by doing all the free work that I did like AY Life Concert, Dynamics Awards, Ovation Christmas Carol to mention few. My passion is working on music video set because I’ll get to see my work on tv

2. What are the biggest challenge makeup artist have to face?

Answer: The biggest challenge I think is that makeup artists are required to remain up to date with new trends and fashion. The fashion industry evolves on daily basis and the expertise has to be upgraded accordingly

3. What is your Unique signature style in the makeup industry.

Answer: I like to make a face pop on the music videos. I like skin to sing and look healthy and I rarely send anyone out of my chair without careful and light, appropriate contouring. So, my unique signature style is leaving my clients feeling exhilarated from the natural glow I give them.

4. Can you recall that time when a client didn’t like the work you done.

Answer: Yes of course. It was on a music video set in 2013. I was supposed to make 10 vixen up under 2 hours before the shoot commenced. Frankly speaking, I was really in a rush and at the same time, I was being careful so as to delivery a perfect job as requested by the director. I was on the third vixens when the Record label owner came and he was not satisfied with my work, he said I was doing rubbish. Remarks or feedbacks are good, they help strenghen you to be better but this got to me badly to the point that I thought my effort wasn’t appreciated. I tried explaining to him that I wasn’t given enough time to work. They wanted glamorous makeup on all the vixens and this can’t be achieved in such time. I persuaded him that we should concentrate on the lead vixens and so simple makeup on the extras all to no avail. Sadly, he didn’t buy the idea. Within a twinkling of an eye, he started scouting for another makeup artist here and there. With my years and experience in the makeup industry and having worked with innternational brands; I felt so embarrassed and ridiculed. It’s a day I’ll never forget. Truth be told, my first job after graduating from makeup school earned me four students because it was a beauty contest. Four of the contestant learned makeup from me. Even before then I remembered I did makeup for Nancy Isime. She happily said I was the first makeup artist that got her foundation shade right. “This is me! I love this; it’s absolutely gorgeous!” That was her remark. So this is not about me not knowing my job, I don’t even know what went wrong that day.

5. You are the second Nigeria professional makeup artist to sign an endorsement with an international brand. How did that come about.

Answer: it was definitely a new territory for me. When Elise Claire Cosmetics brand came to Nigeria, they were looking to work with makeup artist whose core competence is in fashion focused and voila, they found me. The journey with them has been amazing and it has allowed me to travel the world further.

6. Unlike other makeup artist you are also known to work on TV commercials, and music videos. Has it helped you in your career.

Answer: Yes, it has given me broader spectrum and the versatility to handle all sorts of people and the authority to handle all manner of jobs. Music videos taught me how to interpret visuals and script. I would encourage any up and coming Makeup artist to broaden their job profile. If you want to increase revenue for your business you would need to venture out into other territories.

7. What are your plans for the future should we be expecting from you in the next 5 years.

Answers: My main focus is on my present project of training both locally and internationally and also in the expansion of the Elise Claire Cosmetics all over Nigeria. I have a lot of followers from Russian so I am looking forward to my summer master class where I will get to teach and share my knowledge.

8. How do you combine being a wife to a famous Music Video Director and a famous Makeup Artist yourself:

Answer: I would say I’m an organised person. I plan and organise my routines. Needless to say, I have tutored a lot of students in the past, some are on retainaship and they have mastered my work ethics which makes life a lot easier for me in this aspect.

9. What advice would you give to other makeup artist who are trying to build a career:

Answer: Pursue passion first before anything, with passion comes success. Being a makeup artist is not as easy as it looks on social media. It takes determination, research, understanding of beauty and people. If you are going to do it then invest in it whole heartedly.

Go for a course. I have never been a big fan of not going to a school to learn. I did it and that is what I will advise another person to do. I am not saying they should do a five-year course on makeup, but it is important you earn and get a foundation. Makeup is not just about blue eye shadow and red lips. You are going to work on different people with different skin tones. When I talk about an aspect in editorial makeup like contouring, you cannot do two people the same way. I see a lot of makeup artist makes that mistake.

This is one of the things they will teach you in school. So if you are dependent on youtube or Instagram to teach you makeup, then, you will have it all wrong and one day, you will make a costly mistake. Though it’s not like that here in Nigeria but if you make a mistake in USA on a contract, they will sue you. A good foundation is absolutely necessary. Also, getting the right tools is also important.

That does not mean you have to break the bank in buying makeup products. You don’t have to go and buy Chanel; You have to buy foundation for so many people with different skin tones but all these are investments. You are investing but your returns will definitely come. You need to also research and find out where your passion lies.

10. You have worked with some amazing music video directors. Tell us what comes to mind when we mention their name.

Answer: Director Mattmax: Creative, reserved, intense, hard working, amazing, fantastic husband, awesome friend and fiercely loyal. Unlimited LA: Fun, happy, creative, energetic, mischievous, driven Aje Films: Stunning, exotic, creative, mysterious, perfectionist.

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  My Journey so far as a makeup Artist, famous makeup artist Awele Aina Speaks My Journey so far as a makeup Artist, famous makeup artist Awele Aina Speaks Famous makeup artist Awele Aina Speaks - …

#Awele Aina #FASHION

[sailorzakuro]

SCD Week 9: Blackpool Week Thoughts

WARNING MOST OF THIS I MIGHT BE SHOUTING CRAIG BUT I STILL LOVE HIM XD.

Chris and Karen - Well if he’s going out he did it on a fucking high. Literally he was on a rollercoaster. That was amazing!! I’m not gonna stand here and say it was perfect and that it was the best dance of the night technically cos it wasn’t, there was still some flow issues particularly in his lower arms and hands but CHRIS MY MAN THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL. He kept PERFECTLY in sync with all the other dancers and almost looked like one of them. WELL DONE CHRIS and if it was you that left last night then I love you and you’ve been the absolute biggest pleasure to watch 😍 <3.

Emma and Anton - PRETTY GOOD I HAVE TO SAY. I always love Emma in ballroom and this was no disappointment. That lift when all the dancers lifted her and it looked like a ballet pose with her leg up WOW THAT LIFT ALONE WAS A 10. I wouldn’t say it was perfect, her frame wasn’t strictly (ba dum chu) consistent but bloody hell it was an amazing effort. And although I wouldn’t personally score it just quite as high WELL DONE ANTON ON YOUR FIRST 10s EVER. ABOUT TIME.

Alex and Neil - I really appreciate the concept of the dance but I’m not sure if Alex could handle it on her own. When she was with Neil she was pretty good but dancing with the other girls she lacked a bit of shaping to me and didn’t seem as confident. Maybe she just needed to spend more time on those isolated parts and become more comfortable cos it could have been really good but she didn’t quite hit it for me.

Kelvin and Oti - CRAIG. WHAT IS UP. Okay maybe if you’re being HORRIFICALLY picky you could drop a point for his HUUUGE ass arms not having quite the same flow as Oti’s but DUDE COME ON this was perfect! The precision of his kicks was BEAUTIFUL, his legs were like oil spattering from a pan holy fuck! And those press ups he did halfway through didn’t think that needed explaining XD. He channelled the king Elvis (YES ELVIS I’M NOT ACCEPTING THIS OTHER VERSION YOU WANT TO FORCE UPON ME BBC) in every way omg it was just amaziiiiiiiiing.

Saffron and AJ - IS IT BAD I’M REALLY HAPPY SHE MESSED UP?? Like idk I feel like in ballroom Saffron’s frame and flow is SO good that nobody can beat her (especially after the Foxtrot and Waltz) so the fact she lost timing makes me a little bit happy cos the scores could be fair XD. Well in saying that the 2 who’ve got the most highest scores topped the leaderboard but LET’S IGNORE THAT XD. As I said last week she was technically amazing but there’s something about it that doesn’t win me over. Idk the concept of the dance was a bit cringe for me lol don’t you just love when the pros get their celebs to pretend to pick them to dance with when THEY LITERALLY HAD NO CHOICE COS THEY WERE PUT TOGETHER just ironic XD. She did seem to be out of sync when they first got into the hold but that slow section allowed her to pick it back up lmao sorry but yeah didn’t like it again I just don’t like this girl or this partnership and it takes a lot for me to like their dance XD.

( @missemperor ) Michelle and Giovanni - CRAIG STOP TRYING TO MANSPLAIN VOGUING TO MICHELLE VISAGE XD. K apart from the actually very surprising concept for this dance I think it was pretty good! Not one of her better ones but she’s too good at ballroom to excel anywhere else XD. Here’s my issue with people’s comments on it though, cos a lot of people (including my mum) were saying that she didn’t really actually dance much. The dance is a street/commercial, VOGUING IS A COMMERCIAL DANCE. SHE WAS LITERALLY DOING WHAT THE SONG TOLD HER. I personally think she did pretty well but criticising her dancing is okay, saying she wasn’t actually really dancing isn’t. I mean you don’t look at an Irish jig and say “oh they’re just stood in one spot and not moving their upper body not really dancing is it”??

Karim and Amy - FOR FUCK SAKE CRAIG WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU. MOTSI WAS RIGHT TO CORRECT YOU XD. This was the most deserving 40 dance of the series so far sns it’s true. I mean, I guess I can see why Craig didn’t give it a 40... they saved Karim till last cos they knew he’d smash it and the first 40 of the series would be the closing performance in Blackpool like it was with Ashley’s Jive last year and Craig didn’t want to give the BBC that “moment” k I get that XD. But SERIOUSLY Craig please don’t lower his score just cos the BBC wants a “moment” XD. I’m not even commenting on the dance here lol the dance was perfect Karim looked like the pro k right moving on BBC I SAW WHAT YOU DID THERE AND CRAIG I COMMEND YOU FOR NOT GIVING IN BUT PLEASE CORRECT THIS 40 THING AT LEAST NEXT WEEK WHEN YOU’RE NOT BEING NUDGED TO.

Right end thoughts favourites were the usuals, Kelvin and Oti and Karim and Amy. Least favourites Saffron and AJ SNS it’s more AJ’s fault really I just hated the concept of the dance XD. Am I saying the same people every time idk lol XD. I’m preparing myself for the results show cos I’m predicting you know who went but I’m okay I’ve made peace with it and... if this was his last hoorah I’m not complaining XD. I’D RATHER HE LEAVE COS SOMEONE ELSE WAS BETTER RATHER THAN HIM BEING BAD IF YOU GET ME.

#strictly come dancing #yes i watch strictly #strictly come dancing 2019