#I don’t have memes in my phone so I went on my iPad and it took me ages to find one cjbdjdbdns

[leviathxn]

“Too Distracting”

Okay so I’m writing this on my iPad first with a keyboard so the formatting might be weird and everything but I’m gonna go back and fix it on my phone and stuff too. But backstory for this, if you’ve gotten Spider-Man memes and couple stuff then you probably know about the Silk-Spider and Spider-Man. If you don’t, in short they both got bitten by the same exact spider and now whenever they’re with each other they have the primal instinct to mate, meaning there is a major sexual attraction and tension between the two. So here we gooo. (Also I’m gonna be writing a Dads best friend AU with Miguel of course so be ready for that!)

Miguel O’ Hara x Spidey!Fem!Reader

Warnings : Smut! Breeding Kink, Begging, Creampie, Size Kink, Fangs, Age play (Miguel is 30 in this short, the reader is 18!), It won’t fit, praise (on both ends). Masturbation (mentioned)

Summary : You and Miguel were bit by the same spider in the same universe. (I know he wasn’t originally bit by a spider but just for our pleasure!)

I had joined the Spider-Society only a few months after I became a Spider-Man. I had known about Miguel for the longest time, but afraid of getting in his way, I watched from afar. I was sure he already knew of my existence but I didn’t see a point in introducing myself. He was way ahead in his Spider-Man career by the time I became one. He was built for seemingly an older man. I was just freshly 18, but I knew what my body felt whenever I looked at Miguel. It wanted to be with him, on top of him, to have him. But I knew that was nothing but a fantasy that occured at the moment.

That was until I realized just how much I would be seeing Miguel around the HQ. When I first formally met him in base we both tensed up at each other’s presence. God was he a gorgeous man. His perfectly sculpted face and body, lined tightly against his suit. I clenched my thighs together as he slowly descended, his red eyes quickly analyzing me, a flash of lust glazed his eyes when our eyes met. What was he was feeling? I wondered if he felt the same as I did, the unnatural connection I felt to him. After that encounter I saw him everywhere. We would always make eye contact, closer than we ever were before but still so far apart. My body could feel when he was close, every glance I met. I’m sure his body reacted the same way. I’m sure he could smell the desire pouring out of my body, my heat becoming wet every time I heard him speak.

But again this was nothing but presence alone. I didn’t actually have to interact or be within 6 feet of him. That was until almost every mission I went on, he was there. It confused me. Some of them were small and easy, maybe only needing 2 spider men. Luckily there was always at least a 3rd Spider-Person, meaning me and Miguel were never alone. Again, we haven’t spoken directly to each other, both of us so focused on the missions that everything went perfectly fine, no need to communicate. The other people on the missions with us were confused, although we thought we were hiding it, they saw us pretty much ignoring each other and the air felt thick between us.

Until finally, we were put on a mission alone. It was simple, capture the anomaly terrorizing earth-823 and leave. We met up in HQ, as Miguel opened the portal to the world. We were still both quiet, our body’s urges becoming hard to suppress. Before we left I looked at him, noticing our size difference. He was huge, in every aspect. His broud shoulders could easily trap me beneath him, his tall frame leaving you barely at eye level with his chest. My body trembled, wanting nothing more than to be one with him. I would be so small on top of him, struggling to take in all of him.

“I-“, I tried to talk but he made eye contact with me and I felt my body grow weak.

“Don’t.” He growled out, stepping into the portal. I tried to collect myself, before stepping into the portal behind him.

We landed in a very grassy and deserted version of New York. Miguel and I looked around confused. Afraid to speak, I continued to look around, despite my body begging to take Miguel. He jumped off the building beginning to swing and search. He sent me a message on my watch ‘we’ll split up, send your location if you find something’. I sighed happily, I would be able to focus. Although I was a bit nervous to be completely alone, I started to swing in the opposite direction. I kept my eyes open, about 30 minutes have passed and neither of us had found anything. I checked my watch and tried calling Miguel. The phone rang until he finally picked up.

“I’m guessing you haven’t found anything either?” He grumbled, sounding annoyed.

“No... should we meet up and go back? I haven’t seen anybody here... and I mean no one”. He sighed and agreed. He said when we met up he would contact Lyla, not wanting to leave if the anomaly was still here. I waited patiently for him, sitting down on the ledge of the original building. The sun was setting and although it was eerily quiet and empty, it was relaxing. I heard him land on the building, talking with Lyla.

“So the anomaly left when we got here? Why didn’t you tell us that in the first place!” He shouted at her, she shrugged and said they ended up catching it in a different universe.

“How about instead of being angry you use this alone time to you’re advantage? You’re with the girl you’ve been stalking ever since she got here-“ He quickly disabled Lyla, flustered. I felt the heat rise to my face after hearing that. I didn’t know what to think. Sure I watched him from afar but if he had watched me through screens that means he saw all of me... when I had touched myself thinking about him. My body tightened. Thinking about him watching me set my body on fire. I turned around to see him standing there. He stared at the ground, arms crossed.

“I- uhm.... What she said... was it true?” He grunted, looking at me. He nodded his head and took a seat next to me. Miguel knew what he was doing by being so close to me.

“I don’t know why you make me this way... but whenever you’re in the room with me I felt like... Fuck you’re too young for me to be telling you about this”. Miguel had a scan done on him and I, knowing long before that we were bit by the same spider. This led him to watch me constantly, seeing me fuck myself in my room, moaning out his name as I used whatever toy or pillow to please myself. The thought of it made him sick of himself, knowing that he touched himself to your masturbation, cumming whenever you did. He went to stand up but I grabbed his arm, I looked up at him pleadingly.

“You watched me right? I deserve to know... you saw what I did to myself right?” His face flushed and he looked away. He sighed and sat back down. He hesitated, the image of me in the various positions, pushing a toy into myself. He always said to himself how he would be able to hit every spot, not the flimsy toys. He sighed before looking back at me.

“I’ve been wanting to fuck you since the day you came into HQ”. He grabbed my waist and easily pulled me onto his laps, my back to the beautiful sunset. I yelped as his grip tightened. He picked me up so effortlessly, as if I was nothing but a feather. “And I know you’ve clearly felt the same”. My pussy throbbed as I wrapped my arms around his neck, bringing my lips to his ear.

“I’ve wanted more than just you”. One of his hands moved to grab my face and force me to look at him. He pulled me into a deep kiss, sliding his tongue past my lips and fighting. I moaned into the kiss as I brought my hands up to his hair and curled my fingers through his locks. I ground my hips into his, arching my back to press all of my self into him. My legs straddled his as one of his hands moved from my waist to my wrist. He pushed a few buttons on my wrist watch and disabled my suit, leaving me in my undergarments. He broke our kiss and disabled his suit as well. As his fangs grazed over my collarbone I marveled at his size through his boxers. “I-it won’t fit.” He chuckled, kissing my shoulder.

“We’ll make it fit, mi amor”. I swallowed until he sunk his fangs into my shoulder. I moaned out at the feeling. I didn’t even feel the blood leave my body, I felt my heat tighten and clench on air. Although I was worried about the size that doesn’t mean I didn’t want it at all. His hands went to rip my bra off, not caring about the clasp or straps, he sliced them with his claws, letting it fly off. I whined as I liked that bra. He chuckled as he removed his fangs. Finally he moved his hands to cusp my breasts. He latched onto my right boob, his fingers toying with the other. My mounds were sensitive to his touch. I panted and continued to grind into him. “So young and perky querida... so full of milk for a baby”

“M-Miguel please don’t make me wait any longer, please put a baby in me~”. He moved us onto the building floor so I wasn’t hanging over the edge. He laid me on my back and continued to play with my breasts.

“You can wait mi amor”. I whined again as his lips went lower and closer to my hear. He grabbed my underwear at the seam and ripped it off of me. The cold air finally hit all of my nude body and I shivered. I put my hands on his shoulder, wanting to hold onto something. He kissed my hips and brought himself up. He slid two of his fingers into my mouth. I sucked on them and slid my tongue around them. “Such a pretty mouth hmm? I’ll figure out what it does another time.” He chuckled and his coated fingers slid to my heat. He teased me a bit, sliding his fingers up and down my entrance before plunging then in. I moaned and clenched around his fingers. My body shook as he pumped me with his fingers, before adding a third. Just from his fingers I felt stuffed as my body trembled. He continued to play with my breast, overstimulating me.

He watched my expression as he kissed my breast again. “I have to prep you... you’re taking in my fingers so well. So needy for my cum”. I panted and moaned at his words, a ray of curses and yesses leaving my mouth. I bucked my hips into his fingers, wanting him to feel my walls. He started to curl his fingers, pressing into the nerves inside of me. I bit my my lip, trying to suppress some of my moans. He moved his other hand to my face, opening my mouth. “Don’t hide those moans. No one but me will hear them, I promise you that”.

I felt a knot in my lower stomach, “Miguel please- I’m gonna cum”. I grunted out, he kept his pace as he felt my body convulse around his fingers.

“Go on.. cum on my fingers.” My body trembled as my fluids poured out of my body as I moaned out, arching my back. Miguel chuckled watching me pant. I already looked so pleased to him, he couldn’t wait to be inside of me, how I would look fucked and cock crazed. As I came down from my high, Miguel positioned his tip at my entrance and kissed my lips before sliding in. I was already so wet that he slid in with relative ease. We both grunted as he stretched out every bit of me. I could almost hear m body strain as his girth pushed into me. I felt the drool fall out of my mouth as he bottomed out. I felt so full as he put his hand on my back. He helped me arch by keeping his hand and applying pressure on my back, then pressed his other hand on my stomach. I felt him more than before as he applied pressure with his hands. (I heard from many people that this felt really good for women but idk)

He started to pull out, before quickly slamming back into me. As he pumped into me I felt his balls slap into my ass, hitting hard enough to leave bruises. I chanted praises and curses as he continued to slam into me. Every part of my body had been begging for this, needing this for so long and I finally had it. Finally having him fuck me and slut me out. “Please, please, please Miguel~ please keep going!” I moaned out, wanting him to pour all of himself into me.

“Can’t wait to fill you up... so round and plump with my baby”. He moved his hand and rubbed my clit with his thumb. “Does it make you feel good knowing only an older man like me can fuck you like this? I needed someone like you to fuck, so young and fertile, so ready for my baby”. His cock hit deep, hitting my G-spot over and over again

“Yes Miguel please~. You feel so good... you’re so good! Please put a baby in me~” He grunted as he stuffed his face into the crook of my neck, he bit down again, muffling his grunts as he continued to fuck me. My body shook under him as my eyes rolled into the back of my head. I saw stars and my body convulsed around his cock. The knot in my stomach formed again as he continued to pound into me mercilessly.

“Cum (Y/N), cum all over my cock, hmm? You’ve wanted it for so long”. I threw my head back as I orgasmed. After a few more pump Miguel finished too. His hot seed coating my walls. I choked out, feeling the stinky substance fill me up. As he pulled out of me he used his finger to cover up the hole, preventing any cum from leaking out. “Don’t want it to go to waste, right?” I nodded my head and he chuckled. He stared at my face, drool pooling out of my mouth and I still try to recover, panting with half lidded eyes. He felt himself twitch again.

He grabbed my watch and reactivated my suit. With the suit on it was visible that I wasn’t wearing a bra but luckily Miguel would be carrying me. He put on his boxers and reactivated his suit. He picked me up bridal style and opened a portal to Nuevo York, HQ. But before he stepped through the portal he made sure it would teleport him home and not HQ. He chuckled, ‘why give her that long of a break’ he said to himself. I looked up at him confused on why he laughed. “Rest now querida, we’re doing this again when I get you in my bed”.

ANYWAYS GUYS, excuse my weird language in this, I genuinely haven’t written smut in so long so I was trying to pace it but I didn’t know how to word it without being weird. I hope you guys enjoyed and let me know if I should write more smut, I will be writing the Dad’s best friend trope tomorrow after work because I’ve already written 2 today and I’m a little burnt lol. There’s probably gonna be two parts to it but I don’t really know how to link it and put it in the part one for people to find, and I also don’t want people forgetting about it so if somebody can help me out with that it would be greatly appreciated! Anyways have a good night (or day) everybody!

#miguel o’hara x you #miguel o #hara smut #miguel smut #miguel o hara #miguel x reader #miguel spiderverse #atsv miguel #miguel o'hara #miguel #smut #x you #x you smut #x reader #x reader smut #breeding k1nk #praise #tension #age pl4y

[the-wayward-snowflake]

KNOWING YOUR PARTNER WELL CAN POTENTIALLY MAKE WRITING TOGETHER A LOT EASIER. ( REPOST DO NOT REBLOG ! )

✿ NAME: I’m Ari. I have used Ari Shae (and well ShadesOfLetters) as my pen name for years. 

✿ PRONOUNS: she/her  

✿ PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION: Guys, I am on discord if you’re ever interested. My instagram and twitter dms are also available. The messaging on tumblr isn’t as reliable for me because I don’t always have my Ipad on me or my laptop near me. I do tend to respond rather quickly when I have my phone on me. I’m a tad shy, but once you get me going... You’d be shocked because I do tend to get excited about talking about others characters and mine.

✿ NAME OF MUSE(S):   Isolde! My beloved. 

✿ EXPERIENCE/HOW LONG (MONTHS / YEARS?):  More like a couple weeks. A month even? I haven’t done this for long at all. I’ve been writing for years, but I have never really taken part of RP before. Oh! But I do have theatre experience. I think like five years of theatre? I was mostly a light techie, but I dabbled in acting. I learned I bounced off other people better.

✿ PLATFORMS YOU’VE USED:  For RP so far I have only used tumblr. 

✿ BEST EXPERIENCE:  Okay so, first off. I think a mini shoutout is in order because @sylvctica actually got me going and told me everything I needed to note. Hell, I was given a google doc. Which was so nice. So, I’d say getting into it I had a good time. 

But with that said, dear lord. The harem conversation had me DYING. I said one thing and suddenly a downward spiral happened. It was just so funny seeing how things went down. I just had a blast that day, I sat back and watched everything go down until I realized Isolde probably should be hiding! I don’t, I have had a great time so far despite being a shy coffee bean. 

RP is like the OC version of social media, but everyone is unhinged and living their best lives.

✿ RP PET PEEVES/DEALBREAKERS:  I haven’t experienced much to say I have a pet peeve. But the one thing I will say is when I check out a profile and they say to read their rules, they don’t have a link anywhere prominent and you have to dig through posts. If I don’t see them, it’s kind of a deal breaker for me.  

✿ FLUFF, ANGST OR SMUT:   I am cool with fluff, suggestive even. I am good with angst too. I’ll write a whole range of emotions. But... I. WILL. NOT. WRITE. SMUT. I have no issue seeing it. I just don’t like writing it. (sometimes people are really good at it though, like damn) 

✿ PLOTS OR MEMES:  Honestly, I am cool with both. I have not really had a chance to plot with anyone yet, but I am always open to it. You can always message me and I’ll get back to you. You can also as for my discord if you want it. I have grown to really enjoy meme-ing the shit out of my characters lately. I do enjoy both very much. 

✿ LONG OR SHORT REPLIES: I can do both. As of the moment I’ve only been doing shorter responses. I have not gotten a chance to write longer posts with people. If you want to do that, just let me know and understand the longer ones will take a bit of time for me to get out.  

✿ BEST TIME TO WRITE:  Any time inspiration hits me. Most the time that inspiration comes during the middle of the night. There I am, at my laptop, typing away because I got an idea I didn’t want to forget in the morning. Right now it’s 7am when I am making this. It’s just whenever for me. Hell, I put off my school work in the middle of the afternoon yesterday to polish up a headcanon I wanna post soon.  

✿ ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S): I always seem to have a tiny bit of me in most my characters. In this sense, I would say the few things I share with me character are patience, asexual, and my love for warm beverages. Oh wait, and the fact that for the first time ever, I have a character that dislikes alcohol. It’s just some tiny things.  

#OOC I just wanted to do this to help get to know me better #[About Ari]

[suckitsurveys]

Tell me about the first five photos you have on your phone or camera. I’m going to assume this means the first 5 that show up in my camera roll: 1. A SS of Pete Davidson wearing a Chicago Bulls hoodie. 2. A meme of Ron Swanson asking about deviled eggs from Parks and Rec lol 3. A picture of an old iPad we found at work that belonged to an old coworker. He left a post it that said “k bye” on it. 4. ....Another SS of Pete Davidson from a fan account................. 5. A picture of my kitties sleeping on our bed.

Have you got any half or step siblings? Nope.

When was the last time you were disappointed? Today.

When was the last time you had wet hair? A couple days ago.

Do you like kids’ movies? Yeah, sure.

Have you ever known someone online and then met them in person? If so, which website did you meet on? Yes. I met Sarah on Xanga and Ellen on Tumblr and Mark on fucking 4ch*n ahahahahah.

Have you ever been to the beach? If so, tell me the name of the beach you last went to and when. I have been to the beach a BUNCH. The last one I went to was over the summer. Montrose Beach on Lake Michigan.

When was the last time you were sick and what illness did you have? A cold last week.

When did you last wash your hair? A couple days ago, which is why I had wet hair.

Who did you last speak aloud to and what did you say? My coworker. He’s playing Lady Gaga really loud and I told him we’ve already heard this particular song (Alejandro) 3 times already lol.

Do you know anyone with a serious anger management problem? Yes. Very much so.

Do you have a calendar in your room? An old BoJack Horseman one.

What color is your wallet? It’s black with multicolored planets and stars on it.

Have you ever been to Manhattan? Nope. I’d love to go.

Are you wearing any jewelry right now? What are they? Yes, I have 4 earrings in and also a nose ring.

Did you get swine flu? No.

Do you know anyone from Alabama? Mark’s sister lives there.

How bright is it in the room you’re in? It’s pretty bright.

What can you smell right now? Nothing, really.

Have you ever bought a game from a site like Big Fish Games or Shockwave? Maybe? I don’t remember.

Have you ever had a snow day? Yes, several.

Have you seen all the Lord of the Rings movies? I haven’t seen any of them. I’ve never had any interest in seeing them, honestly.

Do you have an unhealthy obsession with colored furry throw pillows that are different shapes and sizes? Nope. They sound cute though.

How often do you change your underwear? Everyday.

Doesn’t it bother you when guys in your family / household leave the toilet seat up so that you wind up almost falling in when you’re sleepy and dazed at 3:00 AM and need to pee? That doesn’t happen.

Approximately how many books do you have in your house? No idea.

Have you ever had to call the cops on someone else before? Yes.

Have you ever been to court for something other than a traffic ticket? Yes.

Don’t you hate it when people suddenly love a celebrity when they die? I don’t care.

What type of math are you the best at? No thanks.

How’s the weather? It’s in the low 50s right no which isn’t bad. I’m debating on putting up the xmas lights tonight.

#surveys

[yoohyeontual]

Tag by @leejooheons of course I’ll do it !!! I just forgot yesterday jchdjdhdj

lockscreen / homescreen / last song / last meme / last idol / last screenshot / favorite songs / favorite groups + biases

Favorite songs (as right now) :

-Stars (Loona)

-Oops! (Loona)

- Mago (Gfriend)

-Lovesick girls (Blackpink)

-Love to hate me (Blackpink)

-Beastmode (Monsta x)

-Go hard (Twice)

-Hell in heaven (Twice)

-Queen (Twice)

-I can’t stop me (Twice)

I mostly have Loona, BP and Twice on repeat right now or listening to anything (half of the time going back to the cab jchdjdhdj)

Favorite groups + Biases :

I want to all group only like top 10 jcjdhxjshs

-BTS : Jungkook

-Dreamcatcher : Yoohyeon

-Loona : Jinsoul, Yves & Olivia Hye

-Red Velvet : Seulgi

-Exid : Hani

-Monsta x : Minhyuk

-Seventeen : Woozi

-TXT : Yeonjun

-Twice : Dahyun

-Blackpink : Jisoo

-Gfriend : Sinb

Let’s stop her ekcbdjhxksjdd

I tag (if you want ) : @uyeau @wonheons @hyelesbian @lunarchaeng @seiswife @vyvesvi @kingparkjinyoung @jintual and anyone who want to do it I’m getting tired bfksgxhsjhxs

#DO NOT REBLOG #I don’t have memes in my phone so I went on my iPad and it took me ages to find one cjbdjdbdns #jin is me at all those idiots not wearing their masks #I still have the fancy iPhone thing so I’m showing it before it disapear one I show my cousin how could it is kchdixhskdb #once* #also Gray and Wendy 💕💞💕💞💕💞💕 #tag #tag game #lockscreen tag #get to know me

[dailyzzy]

Sk8 headcanons (cause I need a break from writing my thesis :,V)

With some input from my friend @crowslikecheesecake cause we create cursed things together <3

Reki's favourite animated movie is "Cars" and he has merch crocs with Lightning McQueen

Langa's on the other spectrum of picky eater - he will eat absolutely everything. But he will rarely comment if he likes the food or nah

Miya has a secret YouTube channel about Minecraft, Fortnite and Roblox, and he thinks no one knows about it - they all know, they're just too scared to tell him

Reki jumps and slaps the top of doorframes before he walks into classrooms

Cherry can't cook at all and he doesn't even want to learn how to do that

Shadow is an absolute king when it comes to skincare routine, he nags Reki and Langa to use proper products cause "they're gonna thank him later"

Since Miya's an iPad kid he knows popular western memes and vines and he will randomly shout them out to confuse others and the only one who understands him is Langa

Miya: I spilled lipstick in your Valentino bag

Langa: youwhahbdhvsghdb you spilled LIPSTICK in my VaLenTino whiTe bag???

Everyone else: ...

Shadow reads GL mangas

Reki has troubles sleeping - he has an irregular sleep schedule, he can fall asleep only when he's totally exhausted and he wakes up pretty early, around 6 or 7 am

Langa on the other hand is a person who can fall asleep anytime and anywhere and when he comes over to Reki for a sleepover he always makes sure to trick Reki into going to sleep early

Miya uses cat emojis all the time

Joe doesn't really like modern technology and he avoids it as much as he can - he writes in a paper calendar, he uses his phone for texting and calling only and he buys a newspaper everyday. He's also super frustrated when it comes to social media and Cherry's the one who takes photos of Joe's meals to post them on Sia la luce Instagram account

Shadow would like to get a flower tattoo someday

When Chery and Joe turned 18 and went on their first trip to France, they didn't have enough money to buy a champagne so they faked a proposal to get it for free

Reki buys colorful band-aids with cartoon characters

Cherry always wears socks when he goes to bed cause he gets cold easily (if we go into slightly nsfw territory - Joe absolutely HATES it cause it's the biggest turn off for him)

Langa and Shadow listen to K-pop from time to time, but Reki's the one who knows the most about it - especially BTS - because his older younger sister is a big fan of them. Reki can recognize all members and knows most of their songs (even solo ones!)

Langa and Joe have no fashion sense at ALL, BUT in different ways - Langa will buy the first thing he sees and choose the most boring clothes and Joe tries, he tries really hard to get a grasp of it, but it's a total disaster anyway

Joe's the most responsible and chill driver ever - he makes sure everyone fastens their seat belts right

"Mi- Miya, I can see that. I don't care you'll crumple your new shirt, you want it a little crumpled or covered in your own blood? Yeah, that's what I thought." "For the last time, Reki, you can't be under the same belt as Langa, it doesn't work like that" "Kaoru, help me out there a little bi-" *Kaoru is asleep*

When Reki and Langa visit Canada, Reki insists to talk in English in shops and restaurants and he has that super heavy Japanese accent, but Langa can't get enough of Reki's pure joy when he gets his point across to the other person so he lets him do that. He hides behind Langa when someone starts speaking French tho

Langa watches conspiracy theories videos unironically (and yes, he even joined a flat-earth group on fb once)

#sk8 #sk8 the infinity #headcanons #daily rambles #reki kyan #langa hasegawa #shadow #cherry #joe #hiromi higa #kojiro nanjo #kaoru sakurayashiki #matcha blossom #renga #miya chinen #absolute crack shit

[frawkeyes]

Thinking about those 'my kids will grow up offline' concept again and realizing nobody talks about the downsides.

Now I hear you say: "but Frawk! the internet is bad! kid's shouldn't be here!" and you're right and I know! I'm posting this on tumblr dot edu! but it's more nuanced than that

under the cut bc i don't want to subject anyone to my rant <3 go drink some water kings

first, let me introduce myself! my parents were big fans of the whole 'growing offline like them' concept and decided to do it with me! I'm autistic and followed those rules without questions, which definitely influenced my experience, so i can't speak for everyone. DISCLAIMER: my parents tried their best!!! they just made mistakes

I got my first social media account and phone when I was 12 and didn't know the password or was allowed to lock my phone. but this isn't about monitoring kid's stuff. the original plan was for me to get my first phone when i was 16, but I have to thank my mom's students that it didn't turn out like that. My first phone was a 10 year old nokia we found in my grandma's attic! i was only allowed to use it when i went to middle school or out with friends. i could use facebook 2 hours a week and only under supervision.

now, to the effects because i want to keep this short. My experience with limited and relatively late internet access compared to the rest of my classmates and friends led to 3 things.

first! loneliness! young teens like to do cool teenager things when they're young, and one of them is social media. my classmates had a group chat where they'd frequently chatted. then they would reference those things in school and excluded me that way, on purpose or not. if you're not a part of the conversation, you feel lonely and they'd tell me to just get an account if i really wanted to participate. but my parents told me that they were spoiled and i was a good example ). same with phones! on bus rides, they would show each other memes or go on social media, meaning there was no conversation in which a kid who isn't allowed online can participate.

Second! naivety and lack of information! this is mostly about when i finally was allowed internet access. when i was 15, my parents decided i was responsible enough and gave me the password to my school computer after 3 years. this was the most free internet access i had ever, and i had no idea how act and stay safe online. this is mostly about introducing kids to the internet, but I feel like if you're younger, people are more inclined to give you information. at 15, they expect you to know those things. suddenly you're thrown into internet and social media, with no idea to navigate it and peers who are more than willing to either help you or trick you. i was lucky and didn't have any really bad experiences, but there was a bigger chance because i didn't know how it all worked!

Third! lack of control! when you're finally allowed internet, you try to catch up as much as you can to fit in with your peers. you try to spent as much time that you're allowed and the whole 'experiencing offline' becomes boring compared to the new and exciting internet. it's really easy to develop an 'addiction' to being online. i got lucky, but my brother spends every moment he can online! banning something makes it more alluring, and parents are quite known for not giving any information as to why.

tl:dr So! should kids be online? no. but you can't create the childhood you had for your child! more and more things are online and most kids are online. of course your 8 year old shouldn't spend every waking moment on their ipad, but your 12 year old's friends are all talking online and they're being left out. they should be allowed perhaps like an hour a day to talk to them and learn in a controlled environment how to deal with it. they don't know how to deal with the internet when you finally allow them to, both on how to deal with people and limiting their time online. how about you give them space to discover, but also give them information before and explain your reasoning!

#bouncing braincells #except theyre going 500 km/h #rant

[junetuesday]

sweetener - [eleven] *updated*

Déjà Vu

Pairing: Tom Holland x Female Reader - uni AU

Word Count:  10,510

Warnings: fluff, smut, swears, food, 

A/N: here it is - the complete chapter 11! as always thank you for the lovely comments and support, please please please let me know what you think!!

Add yourself to my taglist(s) 

Updates: at the will of the cosmos 

⠀You woke up the next morning feeling lighter - not physically, Tom's arm was actually weighing pretty heavily across your middle, but like, emotionally. Spiritually.

You'd been going back and forth for days about whether or not you should ask about what you'd seen on Instagram, and after much deliberation you'd decided not to. Instead, you would just be Chill. A Cool Girl. Someone who would go over and hang out, play it by ear - Go With The Flow, as it were. All you brought with you to Tom's besides your usual day-to-day handbag stuff was your pill and a toothbrush, because you were like 90% sure you wouldn't be staying over on account of how c a s u a l you were being (but even Cool Girls get fed up of brushing their teeth with their finger or making do with mouthwash).

Pretty soon after you got there, though, that all went out the window, because then you were kissing him and all you could think about was who else he might have done this with. Who else had twisted their fingers into his curls? Who else had felt his breath hot on their neck, his teeth nipping at their skin? Who else who else who else - and more importantly, when was the last time they did it? Boxing Night? Was he texting you while trying it on with Her - did he even have to try? Or was she an old standby? And old flame that never really went out? Was she the Cool Girl you couldn't even pretend to be for one evening?

That was all by-the-by now, though, all water under the bridge. Admittedly you probably could have picked a better time to bring it up, but Tom had been so sweet about it that you didn't even feel that stupid for asking. You did feel a little embarrassed for worrying about it at all, but not because of how he'd responded, more just because it was like, 'of course it's nothing, dummy.'

All concerns about ex-girlfriends pushed aside, you spent the morning watching the latter half of Tropic Thunder (which you definitely had not fallen asleep during the night before), eating leftover pizza for breakfast, and trying to mentally prepare yourself to get dressed and go home. You were very reluctant to change out of Tom's pyjama bottoms, soft and warm and comfy as they were, but you did it eventually, pulling on your leggings instead with much moaning and groaning. You couldn't quite bring yourself to leave exactly as you'd come though, sheepishly asking to borrow Tom's AU hoodie again. You offered to give back the zip-up one you'd had for the last few weeks, but he refused to take it back (which you were secretly very grateful for because aside from anything else it made a very handy layering piece), so when he dropped you home that afternoon you had both it and your bra stuff inside your bag. Though you could have happily stayed the rest of the evening, you both had Sunday night/new term prep things to do, plus Tom had his weekly FaceTime call to his parents (read: dog) to make, so it was not to be.

Come Monday afternoon you were settled in the silent study section of the library, your morning lectures already a distant memory as you sat cross-legged making flash cards. Dressed comfortably in thick leggings and Tom's AU hoodie, your shoes lay abandoned beneath your seat in favour of a pair of fluffy slipper socks. Music played through your earphones, your phone placed on the desk next to your iPad and a selection of coloured pens. You knew Tom had a lecture sometime today, and you'd told him when he asked where you were sitting, but your brain was so chock-full of facts and references and supporting arguments that you didn't put two and two together that he was going to come and find you until you felt a hand on your arm and practically jumped out of your own skin.

Heart hammering, you looked over your shoulder to see Tom standing right behind you, biting his lip to try and stop himself from laughing out loud. You glowered at him as you took out one earphone, brow furrowed and jaw set.

"Sorry."

He was whispering, but it was just as loud if not louder than his regular speaking voice, earning him disapproving looks from some of the other students sitting nearby. You couldn't keep yours up for long though, your frown melting away into a grateful smile as he set a large takeaway coffee cup on your desk, 'VL' scrawled on the side in black marker.

Rather than garner your own looks of disdain from your fellow library-goers, you sent Tom a quick thank you text while he set his stuff down at the empty space beside you. Tom's phone lit up on the table with your message, his backpack open in his lap stopping him snatching it up in time before it vibrated loudly.

Shaking your head, you laughed under your breath. You sat up straighter as you popped your earphone back in, rolling your shoulders back until you felt them click - you'd been hunched over for way too long, who-knows-how-many-hours having gone by since you first set up camp in the library. Out of the corner of your eye you saw Tom set his phone back down, and a moment later two ping!s sounded in your ear.

Messages Tom Holland Youre welcome +1 more message

You sipped on your coffee as you opened the messages, smiling to yourself before replying.

Youre welcome How do you work in here its too quiet

I like the quiet Group studys too loud and distracting

You highlighted a few words on your flashcards while you waited for Tom to finish getting out his stuff, another ping! in going off in your ear once his laptop and a notebook were set out on his desk.

I'm distracted by the quiet

I don't think that's even possible

It is Its happening to me right now

You snickered under your breath, rolling your eyes when Tom glanced up at you instead of replying to his text. You watched out of the corner of your eye as he plugged his earphones into his laptop, putting one into each ear before turning it on. Evidently, however, he hadn't plugged them in properly because the startup sound chimed loudly, echoing across the silent room. You tried not to laugh as he scrambled to ram the jack into the port - though you needn't have bothered, people were already glaring at you and shushing. Shaking your head, you turned back to your flashcards. Time to focus - until: ping!

i dont belong here *facepalm emoji* 🙈

Do you wanna just go to group study?

Three dots popped up, disappeared, reappeared, then disappeared again - you looked to your right and saw Tom's thumbs hovering over his phone screen as he considered the proposition. He seemed to make up his mind after a moment, because he started typing again.

Nah I'll survive

You're so brave

I know

OK stop distracting me I'm here to learn.

You cringed internally as the second message sent - you hadn't meant to put a full stop, you hadn't meant to be that stern about it - though you really did need to get back to work--

Are you sure it's not the quiet that's distracting you??

Nevermind. Note to self: stop overthinking punctuation.

Hmmmm no I'm pretty sure it's u

Fine X

With that you both got back to work - well, you got back to work, Tom started work. Slowly but surely you made your way through the topic you were working on, with only minimal distraction from Tom. It wasn't even his fault, he was actually studying away in his own little world, but that in itself was distracting. You couldn't help but sneak the occasional glance at him - his glasses slipping down his nose as his face scrunched up in concentration, his hair a curly, fluffy mess. He looked very cute today - though, if you were honest, you would have to say he always looked cute, especially with his shorter hair. You obviously didn't say it to him, but you had been a little disappointed when he'd told you he'd gotten it cut. Playing with the soft waves had quickly become one of your top five things to do, and then he'd just gone and cut them off?? On closer inspection though, it was actually really nice - somehow making him look both older and more boyish at the same time. More than once you'd found yourself longing for exams to be over if for no other reason than to see how he'd style it for a night out.

Brief hair-appreciation breaks aside, though, you were pretty good at staying on track, and you decided to reward yourself with a social media break. You sent a screenshot of a meme to Tom as you scrolled through your feed, and after a few minutes a notification ping!ed in your ear once more.

Omggg stop distracting me I'm here to learn

You looked over at him, but Tom was staring resolutely at a journal article on his laptop screen, a smirk curling the corner of his mouth as he avoided your gaze.

Shut up I'm on a break

Hmm ok sure How's it going?

Alright You?

Yeah actually maybe this quiet thing isn't so bad

Right? It's called focusing

Wow You're so wise

I try 🦉 *owl emoji*

After exchanging a few more memes, you both got back to work for another hour or so. By then, though, you were getting peckish, and your stash of study snacks had long since vanished. You considered venturing out to the newsagents on campus, but one look outside at how dark and windy it was squashed that idea, the thought of icy wind on your skin enough to put you off the walk there and back. It wasn't far, but you decided if you were going to go outside then it would be for a one way trip home. Tom had pulled a share bag of crisps out of his backpack about half an hour ago, though, so perhaps all was not lost - perhaps he had more hidden away somewhere, so you sent an investigatory text.

Need more snax

Same Ive run out

...or not.

Got stuff at home though?

hmm is this just a way to get me to go back to yours?

You looked over at him to see his reaction, just catching him smirking to himself before he replied.

...maybe...

Did it work?

Depends...what kinda stuff?

Super noodles?

😍⠀*heart eyes emoji* sold

You'd pretty much finished the topic you were working on anyway, so you both packed up your things to head home. Tom took your empty snack packets and coffee cups to the bin while you changed out of your fluffy socks and back into proper shoes, and was waiting by the door for you with a smile. Neither of you spoke as you made your way down the stairs and out of the library, as if you were both still in Quiet Mode after being in silent study for so long. By the time you got out to Tom's car, though, conversation had started to flow - mostly about how dark it was and how ready you both were for spring - and more importantly, for exams to be over.

"...I feel like my brain is just fried," you sighed as you got into the passenger's seat.

"I can just take you home if you want?" Tom offered, tossing his backpack into the backseat. "If you wanna just chill or whatever, I have work tomorrow anyway so..."

"No I didn't mean - can we just watch a movie or something?"

"Yeah, sure," Tom nodded, starting to drive as he spoke. "What's next on the list?"

"Don't mind - something I don't have to think too much about, you know? Something chill."

"Spirited Away's pretty chill? I mean, her parents get turned into pigs but like visually it's pretty relaxing."

"I'm sorry, her parents get what?"

"You'll see," he laughed when he saw your expression, confusion and concern written plainly across your features.

You narrowed your eyes at him, humming skeptically. Tom just laughed again, which wasn't very reassuring, but a deal's a deal and you said you would watch all the movies he chose, so you didn't really have much choice.

"Fine. Are you alright to drop me home after, though?"

"Oh, uh, yeah, sure I can-"

Tom was facing away from you, about to pull out onto the main road off campus, but you could hear the confusion in his voice though you couldn't see his face, so you rushed to clarify.

"Just, you know, 'cause you said you had work tomorrow so I assumed you wouldn't want me to stay..."

"I don't mind," he shrugged, looking over at you with a small smile. "Either's fine. I do have to get up at like half seven though, just to warn you."

"Oh. Ew."

"Yup."

"Uhh," you clicked your tongue as you thought it through, weighing up the pros and cons in your mind. "Yeah okay, I'll just come on campus with you if that's okay and then I can put in a full shift at the library."

Tom just looked at you with an expression not unlike the one you'd given him about his parents-turning-into-pigs comment.

"O...kay? Personally I think I'd rather stay in bed but up to you."

"Ugh, I know," you sighed, "but I found a whole extra set of lecture notes that I'd forgotten about so-"

Tom gasped, cutting you off. "Did you...did you make a mistake in your plan?"

"No! I just...need to rearrange some things..."

You shrugged defensively, scowling as Tom grimaced.

"...I dunno...sounds pretty serious..."

"Stop making fun of my plan!"

"I'm not!" He laughed, dodging your playful swat at his shoulder. "It's a great plan I'm just worried for ya..."

You just scoffed, crossing your arms and looking out of your window grumpily.

"No but seriously, thanks for doing one for me. S'actually been really useful."

His softer tone made you look way from the window - you couldn't see much besides your own reflection anyway because it was so dark outside - but you still glowered at him.

"What?" he smirked, "I'm being serious!"

You tried to keep up your fake-bad-mood, but it was no use - even in the low light of the car his easy smile was enough to win you over. You sighed exaggeratedly, which only made him smile more.

"You're welcome, I guess."

As Tom stopped the car at a red light, you thought through your plan in your head, trying to work out where you could fit in the extra topic. You thought if you did a few extra hours tomorrow you should be fine, so it would actually work out well if you went into the library earlier. Plus you'd be able to get a good spot - at this time of year the good spaces would all be gone by 10am. The only problem was you didn't have any stuff with you.

"Do you mind if we stop by mine first so I can pick up some stuff?"

"'Course," Tom nodded, pausing when he realised your house was in the complete opposite direction. "Uh..."

Raising his hand apologetically in his rearview mirror, he pulled a possibly illegal move when the light changed, making a quick detour to your house. It wasn't too far away though, so it wasn't long before you were pulling up outside your front door. You got a nice view of his profile when he twisted in his seat to look back while he parked, and his hand on the back of your headrest made him feel even closer to you than he actually was, so all in all it was a pleasant experience.

"Sorry about this," you muttered as you lead the way into your house and up the stairs to your room.

"No worries."

After depositing Tom in your desk chair, you grabbed a bag from the back of your door to quickly chuck stuff into. Just the essentials - your pill, a change of clothes, more revision stuff, deodorant, a couple of pairs of (cute) knickers, plus a little bag of make up and skincare bits you gathered together off your desk. You hesitated by your pyjama drawer but decided you'd just borrow Tom's instead of bringing your own - they were way comfier, after all.

Half an hour later you were dressed in said pyjamas on Tom's bed, tucking into a steaming bowl of Super Noodles and watching Spirited Away. To Tom's credit, the movie was actually quite relaxing - and you managed to see most of it, which was a first. There were a few bits about halfway through that you missed because your attention was more focused on Tom's lips on yours, but nothing went further than his hand up the front of your shirt or yours down the back of his sweatpants because in all honesty, you were both just too tired and snuggly for anything more than a leisurely boob/bum fondle.

By the end of the movie you were lying with your head on Tom's chest, struggling to keep your eyes open.

"That was good, good choice," you murmured, stifling a yawn. "Need to go brush my teeth and stuff."

You expected at least a sleepy grunt in reply, but Tom said nothing. You said his name, but still there was no response, just the steady beating of his heart and the even sound of his breathing beneath your cheek. With great effort you pushed yourself upright, twisting to look at him.

Oh.

His head tilted awkwardly to the side, Tom was sound asleep. His lips were parted slightly as he breathed slowly, his glasses askew where they'd slipped down his nose as he slept. If your phone hadn't been charging on the other side of the room, you'd have loved to take a sneaky picture - as it was, you had to make do with a mental photo. You figured you had probably best take his glasses off for him though, just so they didn't get broken. Slowly, carefully so as not to wake him, you pulled the frames off his face. His nose twitched as he stirred slightly, and you paused, frozen. You really had tried not to wake him, but apparently you'd been unsuccessful.

"Sorry," you whispered as his eyelids fluttered open.

"S'okay," he murmured, sighing sleepily as he rubbed his eyes.

Once you'd leaned over him to place his glasses on his bedside table, Tom rolled onto his side, and you suspected he was already asleep again by the time you'd gotten out of bed and turned the TV off. It was, predictably, freezing outside of Tom's bed - but you hadn't made him drive all the way to your house for you to pick up stuff just for you to not use it, so you dragged yourself up the stairs to the bathroom, toiletries bag in hand.

When you returned, face cleansed and teeth minty-fresh, Tom was in the exact same position you'd left him in, fast asleep on his side, facing away from you. You slipped beneath the covers after turning off the lights, sighing appreciatively at the warmth that immediately engulfed your body as you lay down, pulling the duvet up under your chin. You lay on your side, a few inches between you and Tom as you debated your next move. The last few times you'd shared a bed, you'd either fallen asleep on him or with him spooning you - now that you thought about it, he'd never fallen asleep first. Even that first time you stayed over, you'd fallen asleep with your back to him - admittedly because you actually couldn't think of a single thing to say after you'd kissed, so after you'd just stared at each other in the half-light for what felt like an eternity you just smiled sleepily and rolled over to sleep.

But that was then. It was different now; by now you'd spent two nights as close to him as was humanly possible, waking up each morning with his chest to your back and his arm around your waist, legs tucked in behind yours and face buried in your neck. It seemed only sensible, then, that you should return the favour. So, you shuffled closer until your bent knees slotted in behind his, wrapping your arm around his waist and resting your hand on his stomach. You weren't quite sure what to do with your other arm, trapped between your bodies and the bed, but you were too warm and snuggly and sleepy to care too much about it.

You woke up the next morning to the alarm on Tom's phone going off, blaring out some repetitive ringtone from his bedside table. You'd had to reposition at some point in the night when your right arm had gone completely dead, but when you'd turned over onto your other side Tom had turned with you, so you were still cuddled up together.

Rolling over to face him as he twisted to silence his alarm, you blearily opened one eye. You just grumbled as Tom lay back down on his back, sleepily rubbing his eyes.

"I'm gonna go shower," he yawned.

"Mmmkay," you nodded, stifling a yawn of your own. "I'll get up in a sec."

Tom yawned some more as he got out of bed, and though he did set the duvet back down where he'd been laying it was too late, the cold had already gotten in. Your personal heater no longer in situ, you grumbled again, rolling back over and wrapping the duvet tighter around yourself. You really were going to get up soon - even if you weren't going to shower you'd still probably take longer to get ready once you put some make up on, and you didn't want to make Tom late for work. Still, you could just close your eyes for a moment...

Somehow a moment turned into several moments, and you must have fallen back to sleep, because you woke up ten minutes later when Tom's bedroom door slammed shut behind him when he came back from his shower, wearing a dressing gown and a towel around his shoulders catching drips from his wet hair.

"Hey," he kept his voice low as your eyes blinked open. "Do you want a coffee or anything?"

You shook your head, making a humming noise that you hoped sounded like "nuh uh".

"Are you gonna get up?"

You nodded, humming again - this time in a more affirmative tone.

"You can just stay here and work here if you want?"

You shook your head again, but this time you made the effort to use actual words - even if only to try and convince Tom that you were awake (you could work on convincing yourself later).

"No, I'll-" you paused to yawn, sitting up in the bed. "I'll get up."

Sitting up was a start, but that was about as far as you got, sitting and staring into space while Tom got his work clothes out. You half-watched him put his boxers on under his dressing gown, and your eyes focused a bit more once he took it off altogether - but all too soon he was covered up in jeans and one of his signature too-tight t shirts, and without that to keep your mind active you were sleepy again.

"You're not getting up, are you?" Tom laughed, standing by the side of the bed and looking down at you.

You pouted, frowning. You really did mean to, honestly, but here you were still in bed and Tom looked like he was almost ready to leave. It wasn't even 8am, and you could already tell it was going to be cold and miserable outside, and the more you thought about it the less you wanted to get up.

"Do you mind?" you slipped back down the bed, pulling the covers up to your chin.

Tom shook his head, droplets of water from his still damp hair splattering on your face and making you grimace.

"Sorry - 'course not. Just go back to sleep and then work here."

It sounded reasonable enough - hopefully you wouldn't be as distracted as you were when you tried to work at your own house because you didn't have any of your stuff there, so you couldn't procrastinate by tidying your room or something like that.

"...okay, fine." you sighed, turning onto your side and wrapping yourself up in the duvet again.

Already half asleep the moment your head hit the pillow, you listened to Tom pottering around his room for a minute or so before he said your name.

"Hmm?"

"I need to dry my hair."

You groaned exaggeratedly, pulling the covers up over your head in response. You heard him laughing for a second before the sound of the hairdryer drowned him out - though to his credit, it was only for a minute and then he was done. Poking your head back out of the covers, you watched him sit on the edge of his bed to put his shoes on.

"'Kay so...I gotta go..."

You nodded, not sure what to say. It felt a little strange, him leaving you alone in his house.

"So uh... Haz and Adam are here but they'll be asleep, but I'll text them and tell them not to come in and bother you."

"Thanks," you nodded again - in all honesty you'd forgotten about his housemates, so it was a good job Tom mentioned them - even if it did make it feel even weirder, being left alone with them somewhere in the house. "What time do you finish?"

"Half two," Tom got to his feet, getting his stuff together. "Be back by three."

"Cool." You didn't really know what else to say other than that, and you were still half asleep so more words wasn't really an option.

"So, uh...bye..."

"Bye," you smiled sleepily as Tom leant down and pressed a kiss to your forehead, smiling back at you before he left the room.

You sighed contentedly as his bedroom door shut behind him, and you barely even registered the front door open and shut before you were sound asleep again.

Thankfully, when you woke up a little while later you felt much more alive. You had a text from Tom when you checked your phone, explaining which cupboard and which shelf in the fridge were his and that you could eat whatever you could find. You could hear movement in the living room next door, though, and you didn't particularly want to meet anyone just yet - especially Adam, because you didn't really know him. Though, maybe it would be worse if it was Harrison because you did know him - either way, you decided to wait for now.

With great effort you got out of bed, deciding to get dressed and ready to make yourself more presentable for when you did leave the room - and to make yourself feel more productive. After dressing in an outfit that was remarkably similar to the one you wore the day before, putting on some make up, and opening the curtains and making Tom's bed, you took the plunge and hurried upstairs to the bathroom. You managed to get in and pee and brush your teeth without bumping into anyone, but you were pretty sure you heard noise in the kitchen on your way past so you decided to avoid that for now.

You set yourself up at Tom's desk, getting all your stuff out of your bag and spreading it across the surface. There wasn't an awful lot of stuff in Tom's room, just the standard furniture you assumed was provided by his landlord plus his TV and PlayStation, but he did have a few bits and pieces on his desk - deodorant, two bottles of Versace The Dreamer (one almost empty and one unopened), a tube of moisturiser, and three different hair products were all clustered together in one corner, while a neat stack of dvds and video games sat in the opposite corner. Cute.

You didn't manage to get too far into work before your tummy started to rumble, though, and that combined with the fact that your brain was struggling to function without coffee meant that you had to accept that you were going to have to finally bite the bullet and go out in search of sustenance. You hovered by the door, listening hard for any signs of life on the ground floor - and, hearing none, you made a break for it.

The coast was clear as you peeked around the doorway into the kitchen, so you made your way in to look through the cupboard Tom had told you was his. Among packets of noodles and tubs of protein powder was a loaf of bread that looked like it would be edible, so that was a start. You popped two slices in the toaster and boiled the kettle - Tom had offered you a coffee so there had to be some around there somewhere, right?

You were just grabbing a mug from the cupboard above the sink when two startling things happened at once: a) the toaster popped rather more aggressively than you were expecting, and b) a voice behind you said your name. As a result you dropped your mug in the sink - which, luckily for you was half full of dirty dish water, so instead of smashing the mug just bobbed on top, a rather unappetising tide mark now decorating the ceramic in addition to the 'UNT' text printed on the side (which you hadn't actually noticed before. How tasteful.)

"Holy shit," you breathed, looking over your shoulder to see Harrison standing in the doorway. "Don't do that!"

"Don't do what?" he laughed. "You're the one suddenly in my kitchen."

Heart hammering in your chest, you rolled your eyes as you attempted to regain your composure.

"Now I've lost my mug," you sighed, turning back to the sink.

"That's actually my mug," Harrison corrected as he reached past you to take out another from the cupboard. "But those aren't my dishes so I will not be touching that."

Fabulous.

You just nodded, stepping aside and pulling open drawers to look for a knife to spread the Nutella you'd found in Tom's cupboard onto your toast. Harrison pulled out yet another mug - for a house with no glasses there was certainly no shortage of mugs - and set it beside your plate.

"That's one of Tom's so you may as well use it."

"Cheers."

It was actually not that awkward as you both made your breakfasts - Harrison made you a coffee while he was doing his own, and you only bumped into him once when you were putting the Nutella back in the cupboard and he was going to put the milk back in the fridge.

You left the kitchen together, and you were planning on retreating to Tom's room to get back to work when he started talking again, leading the way into the living room and sprawling out across one of the sofas.

"So, how's it going? You're welcome, by the way."

You hovered in the doorway for a moment, mug in one hand and plate in the other, but Harrison was looking at you expectantly as he munched away on his cereal so you figured you may as well eat breakfast with him. You hadn't seen him in a while anyway, now that your joint assignment was finished and with it being Christmas break. But then you absolutely had to get back to work.

"Oh, uh," you started as you sat on the opposite sofa. "Yeah. Alright."

"Alright?" He prompted you for a more in depth answer, but you'd just taken a big bite of your toast so you wouldn't have to say anything else, so all you did was hum in response.

"Mmhmm."

Harrison rolled his eyes, but in a surprisingly tactful move he actually took the hint and changed the subject. You sat and chatted for a while, and he was telling you about the true crime documentary he'd watched the night before when your mind began to wander.

"...so they go into the neighbour's house right, and holy shit, right, I'm talking like proper serial killer shit, like wall-to-wall-"

"Wait, what did you mean 'you're welcome'?"

"Like even the bathroom was- what? Oh," he scoffed. "I set you up with Tom."

"...did you?"

"Uh, yes? I gave you each other's numbers."

You chuckled, frowning as you tried to think it through. Harrison had given you Tom's number, that was true, but you hadn't even used it. Tom didn't even know you had it, you'd just started talking on Snapchat and then you gave him your number when you switched to text. But Harrison said he gave you each other's numbers, so did that mean Tom had your number the entire time?

You just hummed, deciding this wasn't the time to discuss it, nor the person you wanted to discuss it with.

"Right. So, sorry, what was in the bathroom?"

"Ugh," Harrison groaned, setting his empty bowl down on the coffee table and picking up his mug of coffee instead. "You're so annoying, d'you know that? Both of you - I still haven't forgiven either of you for leaving me on read before Christmas."

"What?" You frowned again, scoffing when you realised what he was talking about - the emoji texts. "Oh, well what were we supposed to say to that? Like, 'yeah, just finished actually, cheers for asking'?"

"Yeah, pretty much." Harrison shrugged. "So you're sleeping with him, then?"

"Uhh, I-" your mouth hung open, your mind drawing a blank as you scrambled to come up with a response. You assumed Tom had told him because they were best friends, right? Had you just put your foot in it? Shit shit shit -- well, no, you were there, wearing his hoodie, clearly having stayed over the night before - it was pretty obvious, right? Though to be fair, you hadn't done anything last night, so it was possible that you weren't sleeping together, better play it safe--

"That's none of your business."

"Ugh," he sighed again, clearly exasperated at the lack of intel he was getting from you. "Lame."

"Anyway, how's it going with Liv?" you asked pointedly.

Harrison raised his eyebrows at you and took a long, looong sip of his coffee before replying.

"That's none of your business."

You stared at him aghast as he got to his feet, walking past you and out into the hall without another word. You followed him into the kitchen, dumping your plate next to his bowl on the counter.

"Lame."

He just scowled at you as he passed you, presumably going back up to his room. As irritating as that was, you supposed you did deserve it, having just done the exact same thing to him. In any case, it was past time you and your coffee got to work, anyway.

Once you got going you actually ended up having a pretty productive day - you got far more done than you thought you would have, and the lecture notes you'd found last minute turned out to be pretty useless anyway, so your plan wasn't messed up too much.

By the time Tom got back from work you were nearly done for the day. He brought you back a vanilla latte (in a travel mug so it was still hot), plus the sandwich and cake you sometimes bought from his work when you'd forgotten to bring lunch from home (a.k.a 90% of the time you eat lunch on campus because you never remembered to bring lunch from home unless Liv made it for you). You got to eat lunch with him, then, but he had some work to do so you only took a little break before moving to his bed to finish up your flashcards so that he could have his desk back.

You'd noticed a game in the stack on Tom's desk that you'd been playing with your cousins over Christmas break, so once you finished your work you asked Tom if you could play while he worked - you needed something to entertain you, after all. He set up a new profile for you, before getting back to revising - he had to put earphones in so he could focus, which you did feel a bit bad about, but he promised he didn't mind.

Almost two hours passed in comfortable silence, except for the sound of your game and the occasional burst of TV laughter or voices coming from the living room next door. Tom helped you out on your game a few times while he was taking a study break, other times he just watched you play. By the time he was finished for the evening, spinning his desk chair around to face you with a dramatic sigh, it was long since dark, the curtains once again pulled shut.

"You done?" you asked, glancing over at him but not wanting to take your eyes off the screen for too long because you were at a crucial point in the game.

"Yep."

"Okay..." you trailed off, your focus shifting back and forth between Tom and the game. "Two minutes..."

He didn't seem to mind anyway, just spinning his chair back around and scooting closer to the end of the bed to watch the screen. You could see him looking over at you every now and then out of the corner of your eye, but you were too intent on finishing what you were doing. Thankfully, though, it didn't take long before you were done, setting the controller down on the bed once you'd saved.

"Okay, hello."

Tom scooted his chair around to face you where you sat cross-legged on the end of his bed, taking his glasses off and setting them down beside the controller.

"Hi," he smiled, resting his hands on your knees as you wrapped your arms around his neck. "You have a good day?"

"Yeah, actually. Didn't get off to the best start..." You narrowed your eyes at him when he gave you a look that plainly said 'you might say that, yeah'. "-shut up. But I was actually very productive, thank you very much. What about you?"

Features relaxing back into an easy smile, he nodded.

"Alright, yeah."

"How was work?"

"Eh, work was...work," he shrugged. "Would've rather stayed in bed with you."

You nibbled on your lower lip, biting back a smile as he moved his hands further up your thighs.

"How about that stuff?" you asked, jerking your head in the direction of his desk.

"Yeah, alright," Tom nodded again. "Think I'm gonna be ready for next week."

"That's good," you murmured, your fingers toying with the curls at the nape of his neck as you talked.

"Yeah - you?"

"Mmhmm, yeah." In all honestly you had been a little stressed, but that was to be expected, and hearing Tom refer to exam week as next week was a little alarming, but overall you were feeling pretty good. As prepared as you could be, and uni work aside you were...happy, really. "Yeah, I'm good."

"Good."

With that, Tom leaned forward and pressed a kiss to your lips - and then another, and then another. Your grip on his hair grew tighter as his lips prised yours apart gently, his hands continuing their way up your thighs until they were on your waist -- and then all of a sudden you were on your back and he was on top of you, your legs wrapped around his waist and his tongue eagerly exploring your mouth (well, you had been there almost 24 hours now, so it was about damn time).

He'd just turned his attention away from your lips and to your neck, pulling your hoodie aside to kiss the sensitive skin below you ear, when a thought popped into your head. Why these things always seemed to come to you when you were in the middle of Stuff, you did not know, but it was there now and it didn't seem like it was going away any time soon.

"Hey, so I was talking to Harrison this morning..."

Tom just hummed against your neck, seemingly waiting for you to finish your sentence before properly replying - which was fair enough, really, his mouth was preoccupied.

"He said he gave you my number."

"Uhh," he paused, kissing your collar bone. "Yeah, I guess he did."

"So when I gave you my number," you pressed on, though he was making it hard to concentrate. "You already had it, but you pretended you didn't?"

He laughed against your skin at that, a breathy chuckle that tickled your neck before he sat up to see your face.

"Maybe? You had mine too, though."

Your hands dropped from his hair to his shoulders, holding him away from you to stop him going back to kissing your neck.

"You knew I had your number?" you gasped, an incredulous smirk on your lips.

"Yeah, but, I didn't - I didn’t know if you wanted it or if Haz just gave it to you... and I couldn't just text you randomly like, what if you didn't want me to have your number?"

You frowned slightly, your smile fading into an expression of genuine confusion.

"Why wouldn't I want you to have my number?"

"I dunno," Tom mumbled. He wasn't looking directly at you anymore, he was looking somewhere around your right shoulder instead. "I didn't, I dunno, know if you were... into me...like that."

Oh.

Your body relaxed, your smile returning as you brought your hands back up to his hair, rubbing his earlobe with your thumb gently.

"I was." His eyes shifted back to yours, and you laughed nervously. "I mean, I still am."

"Yeah?" he smiled, one corner of his lips hitching up higher than the other.

"Yeah," you nodded - as if the idea of you being anything other than into him was absurd.

"Cool."

You smiled against his lips as he leaned down to kiss you, and you could feel that he was too - until he pulled back at the last second.

"Oh same, by the way-"

You pulled him closer to cut him off, laughing when he carried on talking into the kiss.

"-just in case-"

"Yeah, I got it," you murmured, cutting him off with a more forceful kiss.

Keeping one hand in his hair, you moved the other down over his back and tucked it into the back pocket of his jeans. You grabbed his bum through the denim, pulling him closer as your legs tangled together. Grinding against each other, Tom went back to kissing your neck as your body curved towards his.

You felt his arms wrap around your body as he moved to switch places - with one hand on the small of your back and the other between your shoulder blades he rolled you both over until you were on top of him. Straddling his hips, your chest pressed to his as your hands steadied yourself either side of his head. You ground down onto him, feeling him hardening through his jeans.

He grunted softly into your mouth as his hands pulled you closer - one on the back of your neck and one moving across your back, over your bum and coming to rest in a firm grip on the back of your thigh. You melted into his touch, your body responding to his instinctually. Heavy breaths and soft moans passed between your lips, nothing else except the menu music from your game and the dull drone of the TV next door filling the room.

You squeaked against his lips when he squeezed your bum roughly with both hands, before pushing up the sides of your hoodie and t shirt. You sat up enough to let him pull them both off over your head, holding his face in your hands as you leaned back down over him. His lips back on yours, Tom reached around your back to unhook your bra before flipping you back over onto your back. He tugged off his t shirt while you did the same with your bra, both soon tossed aside.

You sighed as he began kissing down your chest, your fingers brushing through his hair as he kissed between your breasts. His hands had just moved to the waistband of your leggings, poised to pull them down, when booming laughter echoed from the living room through the wall behind your head. Your breathing hitched and your eyes went wide as it dawned on you that while you were lying on Tom's bed, half-naked, his two housemates were probably less than two meters away, only a thin wall between the head of Tom's bed and the back of the living room sofa.

"Can we, like," you laughed awkwardly, your face heating up at the thought of them overhearing anything. "...put the TV on or something?"

"Yeah, 'course," Tom's tone echoed yours as he crawled off you, reaching for the controller at the end of the bed.

You sat up and wiggled out of your leggings while he switched apps to Netflix, putting on a random episode of Friends before getting up and setting the controller down by the TV. He paused for a moment, then turned the volume up a few levels before turning back to you.

"Thanks," you smiled, grateful for the background noise of Central Perk.

Tom climbed back on the bed, and was almost back kneeling over you when another thought occurred to you.

"Is your door locked?"

Tom opened his mouth to say something, closed it again, looked over at the door, and then sighed before getting up and locking it.

"Now it is."

You just smiled appreciatively, shuffling over to meet him where he now sat on the edge of his bed. Threading your fingers through his hair, you tilted his face to yours to kiss him - softly at first, though it quickly grew more needy. He twisted his body towards yours as his arms looped around your waist, your hand trailing down his bare chest to unbutton his jeans. Guiding your body down so that you were on your back again, Tom kissed along your jawline while you palmed his cock through his boxers. You giggled breathily as he sucked on your skin when you gave his balls a (gentle) squeeze, your laugh morphing into a moan when he dipped his hand inside your underwear, his fingers just brushing over your clit before he pushed one inside you. Pulling down the waistband of his boxers, you wrapped your hand around his length as his finger slid in and out of you, his palm rubbing against your clit with each movement. His lips traveled down your neck and shoulder, kissing and sucking the tops of your breasts as you worked his cock. Both his and your movements began to speed up, your breathing growing heavier and more laboured -- until the mattress started to creak beneath you.

You hadn't noticed it last time, safe in the knowledge that you were home alone - but now, with Harrison and Adam in the next room, you were hyper-aware of every sound.

"Wait," you breathed, placing a halting hand on Tom's chest. "D'you hear that?"

He sighed heavily, dropping his head to rest against your shoulder.

"Sorry," he mumbled against your skin, before pulling back to take his hand from between your thighs, sitting back on his heels and looking around the room. "Erm, I guess we could...go...on the floor...?"

You shuffled up the bed out from under him, your arms instinctively crossing over your bare chest as you peered down at the floor to inspect the carpet. You'd seen worse, admittedly, but you didn't particularly want to put your bare arse on it, either.

Your thoughts were evidently written on your face, because Tom said hopefully:

"I can put a towel down?"

"Sure," you laughed. Why not, eh?

You grabbed a condom from the top drawer of Tom's bedside table as he got up to get a towel from inside his wardrobe, shuffling to the end of his bed to wait while he laid it down on the floor.

Eyebrows raised, Tom grinned at you as he gestured to the towel once it was laid out between the foot his bed and his desk, pushing his chair aside with his foot.

"Perfect," you laughed, standing up as Tom took off the rest of his clothes and wrapping your arms around his shoulders once they lay abandoned on the chair. "Sorry."

"S'okay," he shook his head with a smile, placing his hands gently on your waist. "I don't really want them to...hear anything either."

Your eyes fluttering shut as you kissed, you wobbled a little as you both dropped to your knees, and you felt his cock press against your hip as you went. It felt a little bizarre - kneeling on a towel in the middle of Tom's bedroom, you in just your knickers and him completely naked - but at least you didn't have to worry about the bed making noises, and you were much further away from the living room in general now, so all in all you decided it was better.

You weren't too sure where to go next, but thankfully Tom took the lead, his hand making its way back between your thighs and into your underwear. His fingers sliding between your folds, you took a deep, shaky breath in and out as he started to play with your clit. Your tongue worked with his as you kissed, your hands resting on his shoulders to steady yourself as you parted your legs further to let him push two fingers inside you. You moaned into his mouth as he curled and uncurled his fingers, his fingertips brushing over That Spot inside you. You almost whimpered when he suddenly pulled his hand away, but once you realised it was just to take your underwear off you scrambled to help - you forgot you were even on the floor of his bedroom, all you cared about was getting that contact back.

His fingers teased your entrance once you got back to your knees, making you lean in to murmur in his ear.

"Do that again," you paused -for dramatic effect- to press a kiss to the edge of his jaw. "-please."

You heard him breathe out a chuckle, but he did as you asked and slipped two of his fingers back inside you again. You hummed appreciatively as he curled them inside you, just like he did before - only this time, he didn't uncurl them fully, just moved his fingertips back and forth over That Spot. You did you best to carry on kissing his neck, but you were having trouble focusing on anything other than the warm tightness building deep in your abdomen, so you were essentially just pressing your open mouth to his neck as his fingers continued to work inside you. Your walls beginning to clench around his digits, your nails dug into his skin as you tried to steady yourself with your hands on his shoulders. Your hips jerked as you felt yourself getting closer and closer until your eyes scrunched shut and you had to bury your face in the crook of his neck, pressing your lips against his shoulder to keep yourself from moaning out loud when he began to rub firm circles on your clit. Your thighs tensed around his wrist as you started to come, but he continued his movements all the same, drawing out the full length of your orgasm until your body finally relaxed, your lips lazily resuming their work of scattering kisses across his collar bone.

You sighed against his skin as his hands moved to your waist, guiding your movements. You both shifted, albeit a little jerkily on your part, until you were straddling his thighs, his legs stretched out in front of him as he reached for the condom where you'd left it on the floor beside you. You watched intently as he rolled it onto his length, nibbling on your lower lip as you eyed his nimble fingers.

Once the wrapper was tossed aside, you got to your knees once more, replacing his hand with your own to line his cock up with your entrance. Arms stretched out behind him to prop himself up, Tom leant back as he watched you lower yourself down onto him. You pressed your lips together as you placed your hands back on his shoulders to anchor yourself, closing your eyes as you felt him filling you up.

Rolling your hips slowly, you adjusted to the feeling of him inside you. Tom just watched you, that easy smile on his lips as his eyes trawled up and down your body. You arched your back slightly, sticking your chest out as you slowly started to ride him. He took the not-so-subtle hint, reaching out to touch your breast. He tweaked your nipple between his thumb and forefinger, the palm of his hand warm against your skin as he kneaded your breast firmly.

As if on autopilot, your hands weaved their way into his hair, your fingers tugging gently to tilt his head up so you could kiss him. Your movements were slow, purposeful - Tom thrust up into you occasionally, but he mostly let you take control, your hips grinding steadily against his. And while it felt good, and every now and again you felt his cock nudge That Spot inside you, it wasn't long before you found yourself wanting more.

You shifted your rhythm, your movements growing faster with jerk of your hips. Your forehead resting against his, you looked down between your bodies, watching the muscles in Tom's abdomen tense as he began to match your thrusts. His hand moved from your breast to grip your waist, guiding your movements. Better, but not quite it.

"Hang on," you muttered, your hips slowing once more.

"Hmm?"

Tom looked up at you through heavy lids, and you couldn't help but kiss him then, your hands on his face pulling him closer. His tongue explored your mouth eagerly, and you began to roll your hips again instinctively - which reminded you of what it was you actually wanted to do, so you reluctantly pulled back far enough to murmur against his lips.

"Can we...reposition?"

You felt him laugh against your lips before he replied.

"Sure," he mumbled back, matching your low tone. "What did you have in mind?"

"Uh..." You paused, debating how to say it - or whether to say it at all, or just do it and hope he caught on. So far he seemed bright enough, you reasoned, so you decided to just go for it. "Like..."

Tom slipped out of you as you got to your knees and climbed out of his lap, turning away from him. You looked back over your shoulder at him to check he was following before you bent over - he was, already getting to his knees, so you continued. You felt so very exposed, then, on all fours on the floor, feeling cool air on every single inch of your skin - literally, e v e r y w h e r e. It wasn't for long though, because after a second you felt Tom positioning himself behind you, his hands warm on your waist.

Rubbing the tip of his cock along the length of your pussy first, he pushed inside you with a quiet grunt that you just about heard over the TV. Any awkwardness or uncomfortableness you felt was quickly forgotten as he bottomed out, and you remembered exactly why you wanted to switch positions.

"Better?" he asked quietly as he began to thrust into you.

"Mmmhmmmmm-"

Your hum of confirmation became distorted as you felt his cock hit That Spot inside you. Moaning under your breath, you moved to meet his thrusts, feeling him hitting deep inside you each time. His hands gripped your hips, pulling you back towards him and keeping your movements in time with his.

Another knot of pleasure was twisting inside you already, your clit starting to throb with every thrust. You dropped down onto your elbows heavily, reaching down with one hand to touch yourself. Your fingers rubbing over your clit, you pressed your lips tight together to stop yourself from moaning aloud. Somewhere above you you heard Tom swear under his breath, his movements speeding up as he fucked into you harder and faster while your fingers on your clit pushed you closer and closer to the edge. You arched your back as he gripped your hips tighter, pulling you up and back onto his cock again and again until you let out a muffled moan as you came, your legs trembling as Tom ground against That Spot inside you while your fingers continued to work your clit.

Your fingers slowed as he pulled out suddenly, pressing a kiss to your shoulder. On shaky legs you got to your knees and turned over, letting out a surprised squeak against Tom's lips when he cupped your face firmly and kissed you hard. Your brain, pleasantly hazy, was slow to catch up, but your body responded for you. You wrapped your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist as he laid you down on your back, easing back inside you.

You almost started to giggle as he kissed your neck, his hair tickling your cheek, until he started thrusting into you again and you were anything but laughing.

"Oh fuck," you whimpered, your head tilting back and your eyes squeezing shut as Tom's hips snapped against yours, faster and faster until they came to a stuttering halt, his breath hot on your skin as he came with a heavy groan into the crook of your neck.

Your chest heaving with laboured breaths, you gave another surprised squeak when Tom slipped his hand in between your bodies. You expected him to pull out, spent, but his fingers found your clit instead, and you were so sensitive that he'd barely touched you before you were coming for a third time. Clenching around his cock, your nails digging into his skin as you gripped his shoulders, you kissed him hard to try and stifle the moans that were desperate to spill from your lips as he worked you through your orgasm again.

"Holy shit," you breathed once you pulled apart. You wiggled and squirmed beneath him, the feeling of his fingertips on your clit suddenly far too intense once your body began to relax - but with him on top of you, your knees hitched up either side of his hips, there wasn't a lot you could do about it. Tom chuckled against your lips, but graciously moved his hand away to hold your waist instead.

"Thanks," you sighed, smiling. "Too much of a good thing, you know."

Tom chuckled at that, nodding sagely.

"That was, uh..." you trailed off, unsure of how to finish that sentence. Fun? Good? Nice? None of those seemed fitting, so you just smiled and nodded instead. "Yeah."

"I agree," Tom chuckled again, looking up at your fingers as you pushed his hair back off his forehead, ever-so-slightly damp with sweat.

"...I think I would like to get off the floor, though."

"Oh shit, yeah, 'course-"

Tom helped you up once he'd gotten to his feet, and after a quick scan of the room you found some of your clothes. Extracting your t shirt out from inside Tom's hoodie, you pulled it over your head while he sorted out the condom - and as you were putting your knickers back on, you caught a glimpse of the TV.

"Aw, I love this episode."

"Ah yeah-" Tom looked over his shoulder at the screen while putting his own underwear back on. "Classic."

You knew you needed to go and pee, and besides that things just generally felt a little...stickier than you would like, but right then you'd much rather have sat in bed and watched 'The One Where Ross is Fine' than put clothes on to scurry upstairs to the loo while hoping you didn't bump into either of Tom's housemates on the way. Tom must have seen you hesitating, hovering at the end of the bed like you were about to sit down, because he laughed and asked if you wanted to restart the episode.

"Do you want to go to the bathroom first?" he asked after you nodded.

You just nodded once more, and he laughed again.

"Go on, then; I'll restart."

Of course, by the time you came back downstairs feeling much fresher and looking slightly more presentable, wearing clean underwear along with Tom's hoodie and his pyjama bottoms, you'd realised you were starving. So, it was over an hour and a half later when you actually settled down to watch Ross drunkenly forget about his fajitas, having made and eaten dinner with Tom and Harrison - who, if he had heard anything untoward through the living room walls, had seemingly decided not to bring it up. You were grateful if that was the case, of course, but it seem pretty unlike him not to bring something like that up, so you reasoned that he probably hadn't heard anything at all, which made it much easier for you to relax and enjoy your baked potato.

"I should probably go home," you yawned as the last scene faded out, the countdown to the next episode flashing up on the screen in its place.

"Why?"

Tom's voice sounded so innocent, so genuinely questioning as you sat up on his bed, that you couldn't help but think that actually, that was a pretty good point - why did you need to go home?

"I...need to shower?"

"You can shower here."

Excellent counter argument, to be fair.

"I...have a lecture tomorrow?"

"Me too, I can drive us in."

Solid rebuttal. You looked between Tom and the TV - the countdown was already down to 5 seconds, and you couldn't think of any other reasons besides the fact that you kind of needed to poop, and you weren't quite ready to do that at his house yet, but you'd rather not tell him that so you were left with little choice but to sigh, shrug your shoulders, and say okay.

It would come to you the next morning, when you went to get dressed after your shower and realised you'd run out of clean underwear, that you hadn't really brought enough clothes with you to stay for two nights, but for tonight you were content to rest your head back on his shoulder and let the next episode play.

⋘TEN | TWELVE ⋙

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#tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland fic #tom holland fanfic #tom holland imagine #tom holland blurb #tom holland headcanon #tom holland smut #tom holland fluff

[marikaaajoy]

my relationship with digital art and how BNHA salvaged it

I just wanted to let out my thoughts but I can only do it here :>

This might be a downer for some people but I’d like to share it with people here. BNHA means the world to me and this is why.

I first started drawing when I was 7 years old in 2006

I think it’s ugly now, but 7 year old me remembered being so proud of this because this is a drawing of my stepfather. This is the only drawing I have that was from my childhood. I think the aim here is to draw in anime style BUT I didn’t even watch anime back then. I had a classmate who loves anime and she taught me to draw in school. Drawing became a favorite hobby immediately after that.

Then it was 2013 and I was 14 years old. Drawing is still my favorite thing to do besides being on the computer. I love anime at this point too. My parents bought an iPad for the whole family, but I was almost always the one using it. I discovered an app called ArtStudio and thought “Wow, I can draw without making a mess and with only my fingers” because I was always too lazy to take out my drawing materials and clean up afterwards.

These were my first digital drawings. The pirate one was the very first. I got obsessed real fast. I can color so easily, undo any mistake, layers are a blessing too. There was just so much more freedom. I always sucked at coloring in traditional art and I didn’t like the mess (idk my hands get so messy traditionally)

The next year, it was 2014, I was 15. My birthday is in a couple of months and I knew my parents were planning to buy me something pricey (I think it was a laptop) so I approached them and asked if they could just buy the Wacom Bamboo as a present which was cheaper anyway and I even explained how it works to them and how it would allow me to draw on the computer instead of the iPad. I tried really hard to be convincing. I would have prepared a powerpoint presentation if I had to.

They did give me the wacom as a present. They even gave it to me months before my birthday so I could use it already. I thought I was the luckiest teen in the world with my parents.

These are a collection of my favorite works from 2014 to 2016. The middle one was my second drawing using wacom and Paint Tool SAI. I was a part of a lot of fandoms in those years lol

It gets downhill from there :/

April 2016, my mom and I moved to Japan, while my stepfather and siblings stay in my country. It was tough. For someone who is obsessed with anime, you’d think I’d be thrilled to live in Japan.

I was. Though only at the first few months. It’s not the same as it’s portrayed in anime (I should’ve known but I used to be blinded by anime). It was just lonely. The language barrier sucked and then lots of financial and family issues until my parents split. I got my first boyfriend too and I thought I was blessed by the nicest boy, but the relationship became extremely toxic but I didn’t have it in me to walk away.

All the shit that happened affected me mentally and emotionally. My biggest outlet which was digital drawing, was also out of the question because I did not have a computer/laptop when we moved to Japan. We left it in our home for my stepfather and siblings, even the iPad. I have my wacom with me, but no computer/laptop to use it with. I couldn’t draw.

I tried though. I used my phone to draw, but it wasn’t the same. Then the life problems got piled up, things got worse, and I just lost motivation in anything. Literally anything. From 2016 to 2019, I stopped watching anime, I dropped out of all the fandoms I’m in, I stopped watching my favorite TV series or movies, and I stopped drawing. I even got a bit disconnected with my friends who lived in my country (we talk regularly online). My family was broken so I gave all my attention to my toxic relationship as well which made everything worse too lol

I didn’t draw besides from a few scribbles and the drawings above. I did try digital art on my phone a couple of times again and even posted them on my IG, but they weren’t any good. Eventually, I got mentally and emotionally drained and dropped out of senior high school. I just stayed home for almost a year, leeching off of my mom. I felt even more worthless and my life had no direction at this point. Nothing mattered anymore.

April 2019 or so I think, my (ex)bf bought me a laptop. He says it’s a gift, but I think the real reason was to make up for something horrible that he did (which is stupid because money /gifts won’t resolve anything). I have a laptop. I can draw again, but I didn’t. I didn’t care, I wasn’t interested in drawing anymore anyway.

Welp. June 2019, I went back to my country. My (ex) bf stayed in Japan. The distance helped me end the relationship and my friends were there (they always were) to help put me back together along with two trips to therapy. I went back to finish my senior high school in my own country this time. That said, I have to stay in my country for school (but I was happy because I didn’t wanna go back to Japan yet when the breakup was still fresh and with going back to school, my life has a direction again.)

It was weird. I remember just being sorta lost and confused because I used to put my time, effort and everything into my previous toxic relationship, which was now gone. I was free and I had so much free time that I didn’t know what to do with it. I got so used to doing nothing and being nothing.

This is where BNHA enters.

Dunno when it started, but I started seeing Bakugou frequently online. It’s usually just Bakugou. I knew who he was because my friend suggested BNHA to me back in late 2018 I think but I didn’t watch it since I’ve lost interest in everything at that point in my life.

But ye I thought he hot af but I still didn’t watch BNHA.

But then for some reason he REALLY kept appearing in my social medias and it was really frequent. The last straw was when I saw a pic of him in UA’s gym uniform and thought “damn boi aight imma watch bnha for u” (y’all gotta admit he looks good in those colors with his combat boots XD )

I watched BNHA. Fell in love with Iida along the way. Then I switched to Tokoyami (but Shoji was hot too so aaaaa), but then angry emotionally-constipated sea urchin head caught my heart again. But oof. BakuDeku moments really made me feel some type of way I haven’t felt since I moved to Japan. It felt new but nostalgic. I fell hard in that ship.

I started obsessing. From memes to posts to fanfictions to buying merch to filling my room with BNHA posters. I realized I was reverting to my old self from the time I was still happy and it was thanks to BNHA (and the good people who helped me through the worst too)

Shit I wanted to draw BNHA, I thought.

I mean, I have a laptop, I still have my wacom and drawing softwares. I could totally draw digitally again if I wanted to.

But guess what

I can’t :c

My hand physically cannot draw. My drawings don’t look the way I want them too. 3 years of not drawing really destroyed any skill I had. I was back to square one.

September (yeah they’re ugly, I laughed at it). If you’re wondering why I drew on paper, it’s because, for some reason, I really CANNOT draw digitally. I mean it. I can barely sketch digitally at this point. The lines and shapes just doesn’t come to life. They’re just scribbles. But somehow, I can kinda draw on paper with a ballpoint pen. But yeah, that was the best I could do at this point in my life

After that, I still tried to draw, to regain my old art style, but it didn’t happen... It just doesn’t look or feel the same. Drawing used to be fun. But during this phase, it felt like my ugly drawings were just mocking me (probably was just too emo that time lol)

Weirdly, around a week or two I think, after my half-assed attempts at drawing, I managed to draw digitally somehow o.o

I did a Midoriya and Todoroki drawing like this too. It was my first post here on Tumblr I think. The annoying part here is that I cannot draw digitally unless I draw on paper first, take a pic, and then trace the lineart. I couldn’t draw directly on the computer. Granted, drawing on paper and drawing on digital is very different for me in the first place anyway. But it was still a pain. And it still looked like shit. I can only draw stiff poses :/ it seems like my brain decided to delete all data about anatomy and posture and backgrounds. My lineart here is even messy af. It still really not the same as my old style.

By 2020, I think I got my old art style back. On March, I made this. This took me 27 total of hrs to make.

Right now, I think it’s not bad, but back in March, I was disappointed with the result. This is when I finally broke down crying because it didn’t look good enough and I hated that it took me 27 hrs to draw “bullshit.” I was angry at myself for losing interest in drawing for 3 years when I could’ve used that time to improve. I had to start all over again and it still didn’t look good. (Current me thinks that the drawing above is alright. I was just a lot harsher to myself back then. Used to have a lot of issues but I’m doing great now)

I cried myself to sleep that night. Woke up wanting to cry again. I wallowed in sadness for a couple of days. Eventually told my friends what’s up. Got some pep talk. Even talked to my sister (she’s great, she always hypes me up with my stuff and sometimes I think she’s my biggest fan with how she appreciates my drawings and I’m really grateful for that).

My world turned a 180 and I was weirdly positive after all that crying because brain chemicals and shit. I had a revelation. If I hate how my art style looked so much, then I should have been putting effort in changing my art style, not trying to regain my old art style (that I don’t like anymore)

I researched a lot. I analyzed different art styles and anatomy again. I did everything I could think of to find a style that works for me. I might have even neglected school for a bit to focus on digital art lmao

After all that work, I posted a fanart of middle school BakuDeku in their classroom. I love that fanart so much even if I probably have better ones by now because that was the first fanart I made that I felt like I could be proud of and it was the first one I made in my new art style. It was a milestone for me.

March 2020, I moved back to Japan and without the toxic relationship, I’m a lot positive now. Happy. I’m myself again after the previous bad years. I’m still continuously learning though, trying to improve, but at least, now, I found my own art style :) I really suck at interacting with people online, but I’m always grateful for the support everyone has been giving my fanarts. I’m happy when my content makes people happy.

This is why BNHA is important to me. The series is great alone, but it’s not just that to me. BNHA is so much more. It’s what made me find the passion to create again, only this time, it’s focused on drawing (I used to write, but now I just draw, but maybe I’ll write again for BNHA).

My family is supportive with my love for BNHA, but I think they don’t know the deeper reason why I love it. Sure, I was fine living on with nothing much going on in my life. I’ll finish school, get a job, work until I die or something. It was okay. It was the way of life. But BNHA gave my life color again. I wasn’t just blindly going through life anymore. I have something to look forward to everyday now. BNHA even became a bridge to other things. Ever since then, I’m a lot more open to people, to try new things, to explore and not just live through life and waste away. I got better at leaving my comfort zone. I’ve never been happier in my life :D

Thank you for supporting my fanarts. Thank you so much for giving me a chance to express myself through BNHA. I hope to make more content in the future and improve even more :)

#plus ultra #<3 #personal

[turquoisemagpie]

Here's a radical solution to the COPPA situation: Children should be banned from using the Internet. All they do is make it worse for the rest of us by encouraging these fucking committees to water it down and make it 'kid-friendly'.

It’s not the children that are the main issue, it’s parents. It’s cruel to ban children their right to be entertained, even if that is the internet. The issue comes when today’s parenting method of dealing with a publicly fussy child is to shove a phone or iPad into their face. At risk of being thrown an ‘ok, boomer’ meme, but honestly I don’t care, when I was a child I’d come home from school and interact with my parents. When I was little mobile phones had only just had a technological break through with email; there were no smart phones or iPads, so when my parents needed to keep me entertained, they put the TV on, or put a film on, while they made dinner. As soon as dinner was ready, the TV was turned off and we all sat around the table and ate and talked to one another. That of course was at home; in public if I started getting fussy, my parents would go out of their way to take my mind off being upset. They’d walk me to a shop window that was colourful that had lots of toys, they’d talk to me about it. And if I ever went too far and got unreasonably stroppy, my parents would pull me aside and tell me that I was being foolish and needed to stop. And that was enough for me. There are some things they could have dealt with better, looking back on it now, but over all my parents were good parents. They let me learn my mistakes by letting me make them, and my unsupervised entertainment was just filler between more supervised activities.  Nowadays, screen-time entertainment is the default for most parents. I’ve come across young families where the children are on a screen even at dinner time. The amount of young parents I’ve seen pushing a pram with a child drooling over a large bright iPad screen is scary. I’ve seen parents were ALL family members are glued to screens; the child is on an iPad while the parents are looking at their phones. I understand there are exceptions were screens are a good idea; for autistic children or children who have special needs having an iPad to distract and entertain them in an otherwise overwhelming environment is very good... so why is a child without those exceptions given the same thing? Why isn’t this child looking around the world as they go? Why isn’t the parent talking to their child? Is your phone and non-family social activity really more important that your child? This child needs to develop social skills, they need to talk and interact with their parents. Watching a video won’t do that.  This is obviously the base level of children, meaning toddlers. But this will effect older children too. If they grow up without being told what is suitable and unsuitable they will have no social filters, they will think they can anything at anytime to anyone, which will get them into so much trouble. But is it their fault they didn’t know any better, or the parents fault for not stepping in when they could see danger signs? There’s confusion for many parents as to how to raise a child to be a good person later on in life. You can’t be too protective and assertive over the child, but you also can’t let them do whatever and get themselves in danger. There is a middle ground to it. Know what is a good thing for your child to enjoy freely, but know when to step in when the situation seems to get a bit dark: and more importantly, when it does get darker, EXPLAIN WHY! Tell them why it’s bad or risky! TEACH YOUR CHILDREN ABOUT LIFE! They aren’t born with this! They have to learn it! The whole point of all of this is basically: YOUR children are YOUR responsibility, not a corporation’s or a government’s.     

[omnomsauruswrites]

Mirror, Mirror

Pairing: Bucky x you

Summary: Sometimes the voice in your head is too much.

Warning: SMUT. Didn’t plan it, though I think it works. You have the right to tell me it doesn’t. Shrug. 

His finger traced the scar of his shoulder, where metal met skin, met claw marks. The scars still red. A remind of his days as a weapon, as a cold-blooded killer. He could still remember trying to claw at his skin to get his Hydra arm off. The marks fit perfectly with five fingers.

He sighed. His eyes drifted to his hard muscles, his finger then poking his stomach. Immovable. Impenetrable. Rock hard. Stubborn ass. Adjectives that you had used against him. His mind grasped on to them like lashes to the brain.

You had been furious. Your eyes blazed with a hatred he’d never seen in them before. You had always been soft, always sweet like honey. But last night the team had gone dancing and you had been swept away by a much handsomer man that probably didn’t have scars or marrings. That could hold you close and not worry about what you thought about his metal arm.

He had hidden in the corner of the bar, watching you, as your eyes glittered. Steve and Sam insisted that he should cut in, that you would want to dance with him. But he nursed his beer and took in the scene.

After an hour and hearing the voice in his head beat him up for not being good enough, he decided to say goodnight. You caught him on his way, tugging on his arm. 

“Stay,” you insisted.

He shook his head. You tilted your head in question. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Don’t lie to me.”

He huffed, of course you’d catch on. You were a behavioral specialist. You tapped your foot in impatience, waiting for an answer. The glitter in your eyes gone, replaced with frustration. “If I was…,” he paused, clearing his throat and saying softly, as if confessing it would kill him. “If I was normal, I’d have you all over this dance floor. But I’m not, we know that, and you deserve … you deserve something better.”

Your eyes widened with his confession. You knew his self loathing ran deep but you had never heard it expressed. “And what if that’s not what I want?”

He shook his head, moving around her, but she grabbed his arm. “Don’t be a stubborn ass. What if I don’t want that. What if I want you? What if I don’t want normal? Huh?”

“You don’t know what you want,” he said, trying to pull away.

“Excuse me!” she screeched. “I knew you could be immovable, impenetrable, rock hard but jesus, tellling me I don’t know what I want is a low blow, even for you, James.”

He tugged his arm again and this time she let go. “Fine, be a stubborn ass. But you really should look at Tumblr.”

He stared at the mirror, again, seeing only his scars. Then he remember your last sentence, ‘you should really look at Tumblr.”

His eyes went to his iPad on his desk. “FRIDAY, what is Tumblr.”

“It’s a social media website that allows people to post memes, gifs, stories, make friends,” the AI replied.

That didn’t really help clarify. He still wasn’t literate on the internet. He sighed. “Does it have posts about me.”

There was a pause. “Yes, there are several thousand.”

His brain stopped. Several thousand. That had posts about him. “About me?” he said aloud.

“Posts, accounts, yes.”

“Why?”

“Well according to one, you have the thickest thighs that they want to be trapped between. Another wants to be choked by your metal hand during sex.”

That really did make his brain stop. Since his release from Hydra, he hadn’t seen himself as attractive and now he learned that people had accounts just about him. Not only that but people wanted them to touch him with his hand, wait not touch, choke. “Where’s y/n?”

“Y/n did not come home last night and her tracker is off, Sgt Barnes.”

His breath hitched. You never turned off your tracker unless you wanted space or ……

You looked at the rumpled bed sheets, the full length mirror on the other side of the room. The picture painted there was you with mussed hair. One would think you were thourghly debauched but that wasn’t the case.

After Bucky had left, you excused yourself as well, walking the snowy streets of NYC. You had hoped that the outing would help Bucky to branch out but it had done the opposite. You wandered several blocks before deciding to take a taxi to Queens to your hideout.

You had no desire to go back to the Tower because you would probably confront Bucky if you did. He needed to figure it out for himself. Needed to see for himself. Pushing him to see what you saw wasn’t going to help. But it didn’t make you feel any less guilt for leaving him be. You had tossed and turned all night.

Your phone buzzed on the nightstand. You hand grasped it to see Bucky’s name and photo staring back at you. You hit the accept, “what?”

“Do my thighs excite you?”

You shot from your bed, surprised by his opener. “I’m sorry, run that by me again?” you asked.

“Do my thighs excite you?”

You pulled the phone away from your ear and looked at it, confirming that it was indeed Bucky calling you. “OK, are you high?”

He chuckled. “You told me to look at Tumblr, so I asked FRIDAY to do it and according to her there are women who wouldn’t mind being between my thighs. Thus, the question, do my thighs excite you?”

“I mean….” you paused, how much did you want to reveal about your crush on the former assassin. “If I died between your thighs it wouldn’t be the worst thing.”

He barked out a laugh, then you continued. “But I’m interested in the whole package really. Not saying your muscular, killer thighs don’t do it for me, but that’s not the main reason.”

“So there’s another body part your attracted to, doll?” he teased.

“Yeah, your eyes are quite beautiful. Makes me remember slate blue mountains in winter. Makes me want to stare at them forever.”

Silence hung thick over the phone and in the air. But you decided to push forward. “You see yourself as a big, bulky assassin with scars. You see what HYDRA wants you to see. What I see, is a handsome man, scarred, but living. Who has a smile that can light up a room when he wants. Who can joke and tease with a couple of narcissistic super heroes. Who has arms that can protect, yet make one feel safe. You, Bucky Barnes, are more complicated and gorgeous than you give yourself credit for. And yes, you have wonderful thighs and women on Tumblr swoon over them. They also swoon over your arms, your smile, your eyes. But there’s more to you than that, Buck.”

You paused. You heard his faint breathing on the other side. You knew it was a lot for him to take in. You knew you probably overshared. “Where are you?” he asked.

“Way to stay on topic, Barnes.”

“You didn’t come home.”

“I’m in Queens at my hideout.”

“Give me an address.” 

He looked at the door. Your confession had him reeling. He was shocked with your honesty. You two had been dancing around for months and here you were this morning giving him the pep talk of his life.

He raised his hand to knock and waited. You opened the door a few minutes later in a shirt. “Come in,” you greeted, gesturing for him to the foyer.  

He walked in taking in the slightly tidy area before you moved towards the back and he followed. He watched you walk, noticing the length of the shirt hitting your knees. He realized, “That’s my shirt.”

You turned your head and smirked. “Had it for months.”

He reached out and grabbed your arm, pulling you towards him and then intrapping you against the hallway wall. “You steal anything else of mine, doll?” he asked, eyes staring deep into yours.

You smiled at him. Your arms going to his chest, fingers lightly tracing. “Maybe. But you haven’t noticed, so it’s not like you are missing it.”

He licked his lips, before asking the question he wanted to on the phone. “Did you mean it?”

His eyes searched yours, looking for the truth. Your hand moved from his chest to his cheek. “Every word, handsome.”

He didn’t hesitate in capturing your lips. It was desperate and hot. It was needy. He pushed his body against yours, hands intertwining in your hair. You rocked your hips against his and a groan passed his lips.

His lips left yours down to your jaw, kissing and nipping to your collarbone. You whimpered in his ear before slipping your hands under his shirt, fingers tracing his abs. You whispered, “Let me show you things I want to do to you between your thighs.”

You licked the shell of his ear, as he stopped his ministrations, pulling away to look at you. Eyes blown in lust, abs clenched. He looked feral, but you turned and pushed him against the wall, switching places. Your hands pulled up his shirt kissing upwards from his abs to his chest. Your tongue dipping into where skin met metal, and he moaned. Your wicked tongue caused his cock to twitch in his pants and he felt them tighten. “Y/n,” he growled.

You tisked. “Patience,” you murmured, kissing down and kneeling on the floor.

Your fingers unbuttoned his pants and pulled them down before your hand palmed him through his briefs. He bucked against it and groaned. His body craved release, as your tongue followed the like of the elastic of his underwear. “This is what the girls dream of,” she confessed, her hand stroking him. “As much as they want you between their thighs, Buck, they want this view to.”

He looked at you, seeing you watching him beneath your lashes. Your hand teased him, as your tongue licked your lips. “Don’t worry, I’ll be gentle,” you promised before pushing down the last barrier and your tongue caressed the vein of his cock.

His fingernails digged into the wall behind him, as he tried not to come just from the first few seconds of your ministrations. You hummed your approval, as this time you took him in your mouth. He groaned and his body lit up like a match. He felt it in the pit of his stomach unlike before. You bobbed slowly, your tongue swirling. He cursed. “Doll….” he gasped.

You hummed again, which cause his cock to vibrate. “Fuck.”

You smiled against him. You took one of his hands, guiding it to your head. He looked at you concerned but your eyes showed that you wanted this. So he threaded his hand, guiding your mouth a little faster on him.

Your hands went to his thighs, nails scrapping, emphasizing their strength. He twitched in your mouth. “Y/n,” he groaned again.

You sucked a little harder, before releasing him so you could praise him, as your hands pumped. “This what you imagined when you thought of me between your thighs, Sarge.” His hips thrusted forward in your hand. “This what you think about when you masturbate. My mouth on your delicious cock.”

He groaned again. “Who knew you had a filfthy mouth, doll,” he muttered out.

Your tongue swiped his slit collecting the pre-cum and he jerked again. “So sexy. So handsome. Can’t wait to see what your like when you cum.”

His hand pulled on your hair, forcing your eyes upward and you saw his blown irises full of need. You tried not to chuckle before taking him back in your mouth. This time sucking harder and faster. You felt his fingers in your scalp, trying not to push your head into him, but you decided to encourage it by putting your hands on his ass pushing you deeper in his mouth. “Oh fuck, oh fuck, y/n…” he babbled incoherently.

You felt his member twitch in your mouth. You knew he was close, so you pushed your tongue against the vein and soon enough he was cumming in your mouth, shouting your name. You swallowed all his cum, as you realized it had been awhile since he had orgasmed that hard, as he twitched in your mouth. You smiled, as he stopped, pulling away. You pushed up from the floor, moving to kiss him. Then you added, “Want to find out the other things I want to do between your thighs?”

@valkyrieofsmut @winchesterswantmypie @scuzmunkie @littleravenwrites @cari105 @soldierplum @muggleluna @youreahandsomedevil @coal000 @xxashy999xx @wishingforahome @lokissoul @lost-in-translating @randomfandompenguin @verygraphicink (taglists are open)

#bucky #Bucky Barnes #bucky fanfic #bucky fanfiction #bucky x you #bucky x y/n #bucky x reader #lemon

[whaleyoufeedmenuggets]

Im too lazy to look at the questions so DO ALL OF THEM. (if you dont wanna then go on a random number generator and get 5 random numbers)

ITS REALLY LONG BUT I DID IT KJSHADJS HERE GOES i love oversharing my lifealso im putting a read more line bc its hella long

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

water bottles

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

ehhh depends on my mood. i’d say it’s (dark) chocolate most of the time (love that 70% dark chocolate mmMmMm)

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

cotton candy!! except when it gets all over my face and hair o no

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

common report book comments included

- very active

- bright

- “the live wire of the class”

- usually distracted but still does well

- mischievous

- playful

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

bottles so that i can close it and save the rest for later and not have to chug it yeet

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

sportswear #sweatpantsalldayeveryday

7. earbuds or headphones?

def headphones but they’re inconvenient sometimes :/

8. movies or tv shows?

tv shows!! (also, my adhd ass can’t get through a movie without zoning out oops)

9. favorite smell in the summer?

i haven’t experienced /real/ summer (thank u singapore’s tropical climate) but i rly like the smell of rain :”)

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

making up excuses to skip pe

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

belvitas before morning practice

croissant sandwich and chocolate milk after practice

if there’s no practice, then scrambled eggs from the dining hall lolol

if i’m too lazy to go to the dining hall, then cereal

12. name of your favorite playlist?

it’s literally called jams and the description is “a clusterfuck of stuff i’ve jammed to at some point”

13. lanyard or key ring?

key ring

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

gummy bears/sour patch kids

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

death of a salesman - arthur miller

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

with one foot up on the chair and the other leg sitting normally

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

a pair of asics sneakers

18. ideal weather?

15ºc/60ºf when its like cool but not too cold but also not ridiculously hot and also when theres no insane wind (a light breeze is fine)

19. sleeping position?

on my left side and hugging a pillow/bolster/soft toy

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

i like the feeling of pen and paper but im disorganized as hell so an apple pencil + ipad makes a good enough substitute

21. obsession from childhood?

frogs (i’ve loved them since i was 3 hehe)

22. role model?

a dude i used to train with for a while in 2014. he retired last year but he’s always looked out for me like an older brother since we trained together (he’s 8 years older than me lmao) and even thought i’m so far away rn he still checks in on me and stuff and idk he’s probably one of the swimmers i respect the most.

23. strange habits?

i cant fall asleep at night if im not hugging something.  like. it could be a pillow. or a soft toy. literally anything. once on a school trip i hugged a pair of sweatpants to sleep bc i legit cant fall asleep if im not hugging something.i have no problem falling asleep in class/on buses/cars/planes though.

24. favorite crystal?

idk i never really paid enough attention to crystals to actually have a favorite and know their names. they’re all rly pretty tho.

25. first song you remember hearing?

uhh h h i honestly can’t remember. probably some classical music bc i played the violin and that was my first experience of music that i was actually aware of????

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

switch on the aircon and take a nap / sit in bed on netflix/playing on my nintendo switch. and swimming outdoors i guess.

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

switch on the heater and take a nap / sit in bed on netflix/playing on my nintendo switch.

do u see a pattern here

28. five songs to describe you?

jet lag - simple plan (bc time zones suck and i miss my fam & friends)

avalanche - bring me the horizon (pretty much sums up how tf my brain feels)

high hopes - p!atd

astronaut - simple plan

the reckless and the brave - all time low

29. best way to bond with you?

doing dumb shit with me

also Quality Time™️ like idk even if we’re chilling and doing our own shit i like just spending time with people im comfortable enough with

30. places that you find sacred?

idk

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

a hoodie and sweatpants

for no reason other than that’s what i wear 90% of the time

32. top five favorite vines?

I AM CONFUSION!!! AMERICA EXPLAIN

this bitch empty. yeet.

im in my mom’s car VROOM VROOM

the one of that dad playing the saxophone (???) and the kid slamming the oven door open and shut

road works ahead “haha yea sure hope it does!”

33. most used phrase in your phone?

either lmao or lolol or LMFAO or yeet

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

gOD i had spotify ads stuck in my head all the time before i switched to premium and now i cant remember any of them (thank god)

35. average time you fall asleep?

i’d say 12:30-1ish

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

the tROLL FACE MEME LIKE those rage faces idk what they’re called but BASICALLY THOSE 2010-2012 era memes

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

suitcase!!! i like sitting on them and yeeting myself around on them or getting people to push me around and then falling off

38. lemonade or tea?

lemonade

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

ngl i havent had either of them before

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

so in jc2 (aka 12th grade), for some reason PEOPLE WERE PUTTING PRE-PACKAGED HARD BOILED EGGS ALL OVER THE SCHOOL. like they were still in their wrappers and all but u could open ur schoolbag and find like 5 eggs in there. and no one knew where they came from. i think at one point there were even eggs hanging from the pull-up bars. all i know is that they were everywhere and people in my batch still remember it as the egg invasion of acjc.

41. last person you texted?

my mom

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

def jacket!!! especially when they have zips hehe

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

hoodie

44. favorite scent for soap?

idk man depends on my mood

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

sci-fi bc im a fricken nerd

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

shirt and sweats

47. favorite type of cheese?

cheddarrr also i like mozzerrella sticks

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

a fineapple B)

lmao jk ummmm maybe a watermelon bc when u hit it it sounds hollow, just like how my skull would sound if someone hit it (h a)

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

here for a good time not for a long time

never give up without a fight

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

idk probably some dumb meme. i laugh at a lot of stuff like i laugh anything even mildly funny. some that i can think of off the top of my head are:

- i was tryna type ducky but typed fucky instead and sOmEOnE (could be the person who submitted this ask, idk tho) changed my facebook messenger nickname to fucky and the notification was like ”poopy butthole changed your nickname to fucky” and i think that’s still the funniest sentence i’ve read in my whole life

- one time we went to mcdonalds and a friend said mcfluffy instead of mcflurry and idk why but i laughed so hard at that

- once @doduo and i spent half a chinese lesson cutting out random faces from the chinese newspaper and sticking them randomly all over the classroom and idk. it was the funniest thing ever. until the teacher came over and confiscated my scissors rip.

51. current stresses?

- an essay draft (that i am procrastinating rn by doing this, oops)

- CANADIAN TRIALS (but thats a good kind of stress)

- submitting a proposal for a group project but none of my groupmates are freaking replying my texts ugh

52. favorite font?

avenir next!! i find san serif fonts way easier to read than serif lolol.i like helvetica neue too.

53. what is the current state of your hands?

dry af but also i just got my nails done so they pretty rn hehe

54. what did you learn from your first job?

i…havent had a real job yet

55. favorite fairy tale?

idk i was never rly one for fairy tales even as a kid.

56. favorite tradition?

chinese new year when we get CASH and we spend 3 days just eating junk yEET im rly sad im gonna be missing it the next few years tho

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

hh h h hh hhh hh hh they’re pretty personal i don’t /really/ wanna put it out here but i can text you the answer to this if you want (i’m perfectly fine with that!!)

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

- i think i’m pretty intuitive!!! i can guess anyone’s mbti if i’ve spent enough time with them/gotten a detailed enough description of them /winks/ and i can read people pretty well in general and i can draw links to themes/symbols in lit pretty well….???

- i’m somewhat decent at lettering…i think

- i’m good at pull-ups and also vertical jumps i’m secretly a froge

- i’m decent at photography…i guess….

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

yeet

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

pokemon !!

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

/sweats/ i’m not very good at remembering lines from books/movies/shows WELP

62. seven characters you relate to?

JAKE PERALTA - b99

rosa diaz - b99

linguine - ratatouille (he’s permanently confused and he let a ratto take over his job bc he had no idea what he was doing like damn what a big mood)

dory - finding nemo/finding dory (i relate to the forgetfulness)

percy jackson

kale bae /winks/

mitt (during bad phases) /winks again, but sadly/

63. five songs that would play in your club?

idek man i wouldnt even be at my own club i’d be at home taking a nap i’ll just ask someone else to handle my playlist

64. favorite website from your childhood?

club penguin !!!

65. any permanent scars?

yE one of them was from jumping onto a treadmill going at 13km/h 2 years ago bc i thought i was a good idea

66. favorite flower(s)?

i dont have any

67. good luck charms?

i eat pancakes for breakfast on meet days!!!! altho i think this is more of a habit than a good luck charm tbh lmao.

also i guess pip???? he’s my emotional support narwhal :’)

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

durian. i cant stand the stuff or anything flavored like it ugh.

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

red food coloring is derived from beetles

70. left or right handed?

right

71. least favorite pattern?

overly-floral patterns i guessssss. also i hate wearing stripes.

72. worst subject?

chinese

besides that, math and physics

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

i rly like vanilla ice cream and fries

also i would eat ketchup with nearly anything

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

i usually just suck it up and go to sleep when it comes to pain but i guess an 8??? idk. i usually take advil/ibuprofen only for fevers

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

i got my first loose tooth on january 11 2005 and it fell out on january 18 2005 & it was a tuesday (pls don’t ask me how i remember this bc i dont know)

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

tater tots

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

cactus i guess. idk im not good at plants.

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

grocery store sushi (it was pretty decent in singapore so yeeeee lmao also i ate a lot of that as a kid)

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

its the same photo for both so yeAh

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

earth

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

idk i always called them fireflies

82. pc or console?

console I LOVE THE FEEL OF BUTTONS

83. writing or drawing?

drawing (more like doodlign for me bc i cant draw for shit)

84. podcasts or talk radio?

neither but if i rlllllly had to choose then podcasts i guessss s sss

84. barbie or polly pocket?

neither LMAO i gave all my barbies haircuts when i was a kid bc i didnt know what to do with them

85. fairy tales or mythology?

mythology for sure!! i love greek mythology (may or may not be bc of percy jackson lolol)

86. cookies or cupcakes?

cookies

87. your greatest fear?

losing those i love and care about (could be drifting or actual death it goes both ways)

88. your greatest wish?

rn, for my essay to write itself

for the short-term, to make the olympics (and WUGs…and worlds…and sea games…and asian games…and commonwealth games lmao)

for the long-term, uhhh idk. i just wanna live a life i’m satisfied with and to have a job i actually like and to be able to support my parents

89. who would you put before everyone else?

my mom

90. luckiest mistake?

i always say that i regret doing a year of college in singapore instead of coming here for freshman year but if i’d come in a year earlier like i was supposed to, i proba wouldn’t have made it past swim team tryouts and i made some pretty great friends in my first year of college soooo it all worked out i guessi cant think of any others rn

91. boxes or bags?

bags

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

fairy lights are rly pretty!!but i like natural light :”)

93. nicknames?

deb

debs

debo

debbo

alpha childuhh h h i think thats about it??? i cant remember any others

94. favorite season?

spring’s pretty great rni like fall too (before it gets cOLd)

95. favorite app on your phone?

insta/tumblr/telegram

96. desktop background?

a photo of me looking rly cool at the starting blocks before a race B)

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

4 - mine (singapore & US), my mom’s and my dad’s

98. favorite historical era?

uhh h h idk the ice age seemed pretty cool haha sike it was actually coldmedieval times seemed pretty cool too like damn i want a suit of armorWHEW I SPENT WAY TOO MUCH TIME ON THIS but i had fun so yeet

also if you read all the way down here ily and you’re cool

#ask #this was hella long #but also hella fun

[anotherfandomok]

Interactive Introverts Richmond Summary! (Part 1 bc rambling)

Ok. My experience and a general summary. I'm gonna do my best I couldn't believe it was happening, before, after, or during it, and now I can't believe it happened. So.

I didn't get ready way too early this time! I loved my outfit it was so cute, and I drew whiskers on my wrist and my cousin did too :). I went over to my cousin's, and my aunt drove us to my uncle's office in Richmond. He took us to II it was so awesome of him. I was flipping out.

We got there and took pics with the signs and stuff I was vibrating and bouncing and shit I was so excited. We lined up and got in doors opened at six and it was a lot of little short lines so we got in really quickly. Immediately I wanted to go downstairs for merch.

We got in the merch line and like really like ahead in the line I was so proud of getting there so fast.

And I saw the like stand up thing background for the m&g?????? So I was like um wtf are they actually right there like thirty feet away from me? So I was watching it and had my phone ready to video. I SAW PHIL LESTER WITH MY OWN EYES LEAN FORWARD AND HUG SOMEONE. y'all you don't understand his hair is SO. BLACK. like it actually shocked me how black it was I guess it doesn't translate.

But anyway they had the last few people do the m&g, and then they left and Dan waved really quick and we all cheered and I GOT A VIDEO OF THEM AKFNDJSFBWJD.

Also, fan project tonight super cute just a pic of Virginia that said "VA LOVES YOU" I didn't know about it until I got there, but someone handed me a stack and asked me to pass them out and I was like um hell yes so I did that.

Anyway, we moved forward in the merch line and yo the line got so long I was so happy we went straight there omg. The merch setup was like really good! Very efficient they had a long table and everything up with prices and stuff it was so well set up and the guy who helped me was super nice.

I got both short sleeved shirts and the long sleeved shirt, as well as a hat and a poster, and my cousin got the hoodie, a poster, and the marble shirt. Cute as hell! It went really smoothly and quickly it was awesome and we just got right through.

We went to the bathroom and it had a lil ledge so we folded and organized our stuff and then went to the bathroom. Tbh the bathrooms there were REALLY nice, and not crowded at all when I went! The theatre itself was so nice you guys like I can't even believe how nice it was it was so fancy like pretty carpeted soft stairs and everything was so ornate and detailed and pretty. Just omg.

Anyway! Then we went and stood by the front doors for a bit and I handed out signs (if you saw me in the lacy white shirt and black shorts with short blond hair aye!). We sat in balconey D, so we went up (a LOT of stairs) and found our seats!

Seriously I can't overstate how gorgeous and amazing this theatre was so fancy with super soft seats and good room like it was so pretty and it had a ton of like Egyptian stuff on the walls omg it was so cool. Y'all. The set was GORGEOUS. Like the lights and the background and just. Wow. I felt so close even though we were the highest up, because everything was very stacked. We really weren't that far away even though we were towards the back like I could see the stage really well.

The set is so gorgeous wow. And I just jammed to all the songs on the preshow playlist it was so amazing I couldn't believe it was real.

Also Dan's Siri came on like twice and was like hi there's really nice merch downstairs and Dan left me to look at memes and stuff, and told us not to film bc iPads are bad lmao. (I filmed anyway don't arrest me).

Everyone FLIPPED SHIT when Welcome To The Black Parade came on oh my god it was so loud and amazing. The lights dimmed and off we went.

They opened with the really adorable video being projected omg my heart and then they rode in dramatically with their steam and everyone LOST THEIR SHIT it was amazing the crowd was so loud all night.

Phil read the Richmond Wikipedia page apparently (wow, nerd) lmao and talked about the rat basketball team. They literally mentioned the rat basketball team like at least six times throughout the show tonight y'all I'm.

Dan said shooketh at something at the beginning and I don't remember what it was but like djfndjsdbrb. Also he did the Naruto run the first time he ran off stage, and we all sCREAMED.

They did a smol duet of A Whole New World which I now know was inspired by the venue - it was so great though and Dan was like that's not what you want trust me it would start off good but it would quickly become horrible. It sounded really good though like I love them they should sing more.

I hadn't seen any spoilers about the beginning! They talked about what an introvert is and asked the introverts and extroverts in the room to cheer sjfbwjsj.

Dan had a six second challenge to pretend to be a llama sitnfndntkejr he pranced and did a noise we all DIED and then he was like "-NO!" it was hilarious sjfndjsnebd.

The segment about what they weren't gonna do had me shook I nearly died. "Please be gentle with the handcuffs; I have sensitive skin" IM DEAD.

Also when they went to walk up and pretend to strip and then they RIPPED OFF THEIR SHIRTS TO REVEAL IDENTICAL SHIRTS UNDERNEATH YOURE FUCKING KIDDING ME WHAT THE FUCK.

We were all really sad about the puppies so Phil said we'd get to see more puppies later in the show and we all screamed and Dan said if you're gonna promise puppies you better follow through.

When they offered to let people touch their hair I was like sjgbdjdbdjabfsn. Pastel personas skgbsjfkekfje??? They put on flower crowns and brought stuffed animals up to the front of the stage wow my heart.

They were like we're not gonna bring up a whole bunch of other YouTubers - because we have no friends and no one replied to our messages.

I can't remember for shit, but the whole beginning segment was just amazing. When they finished talking about how the show was interactive they were like "so that's why now we're going to make one of you stand up at random!!!!!!!" And they shined all the lights up and for a second it was chaos and then they were like kidding kidding we're just kidding and Phil was like your faces were priceless and Dan was like okay you can tell who the introverts and extroverts are the introverts are like crawling into a ball in their seats like "DONT PICK ME" I've never seen 3000 people curl up into a ball before. It was terrifying but also amazing!

Truth bombs! Honestly, I thought they were gonna do all the ones from the website, but they only did one each.

Phil's torture confession would be being bathed in cheese (Dan talked about if that included scrubbing, or if it included scrubbing under flaps y'all I was so done oh my god), but other options were mouth noises in headphones in his ears (to which Dan then did HORRIBLE and horribly loud mouth noises into his mic oh my god it was the worst thing my ears have ever heard ajtbcjejgsj *vomits* he said "not the asmr you came to hear, sorry") and ??? (Help I forgot)

Dan dreams about Nick Jonas in a fursuit at night ("the two things I lease wanted to hear right now, combined), but other options were a dark abyss ("no that's what I see when I look in the mirror") and a one direction reunion.

They would die from "Bees?" But other options were Dan falling out of the gaming chair and taking Phil down with him, and burning down the flat after setting a fire during a baking video gone horribly wrong (both of the runner ups they said were extremely realistic and plausible and they were like are you guys surprised we aren't dead yet we were all like yah). Dan was like where are the bees going to come from???? THAT FLAP keep you eyes on it.

We're real people with free will so you can't just make us do whatever you want, BUT we have made a simulation with a tiny Dan and Phil where you choose what they would do in completely normal, everyday situations that we experience in real life. Remember, tiny Dan and Phil still have emotions and can feel shame and guilt, so this is our test to see if you are responsible enough to be in control during this show - please do what you would actually want us to do if you were controlling us in real life.

Simulation! They have been working on this since they were FETUSES. Not babies, fetuses they were up in their mom's bellies with laptops editing this, and they spent billions of pounds and thousands of Richmond dollars (idk why they said Richmond dollars so many times during the show but sjtbsjdjd it was cute) on it.

Phil first he went to Barstucks (the simulations didn't want to get sued) and got a unicorn death frappe, with lots of sugar so he was vibrating, and he accidentally tweeted a picture of him in his underwear. Shirtless Satan appears and we all cheered for Satan they were concerned and Phil sold his soul to Satan to take the pic down bc he dropped his phone in his drink lmao. SATAN TAKES HIM TO HELL AND THERES DEMON DAN AND HE HAS A POTATO AND HE POTATO PRESSES PHIL TO DEATH FOR ETERNITY. then Phil was like "I still remember the feeling of a wet potato being pressed to my back" I was like sjbsjsjdsj ew.

Dan talked to the furry in the park and went to a furry rave (didn't show him the good Shiba Inu memes he had) and did body shots off of an otter and entered the ladydoor and slipped on the floor and died in his slothbear fursuit. Lmao rip (I'd already heard that ending though). Dan said the show was officially demonitized, and also said "there was an attempt" after people cheered for the good option lmao.

At the end they were like what a waste of all our billions of dollars and all the time spent editing as fetuses.

At the end of the simulation Phil talked about it being like a mob mentality and Dan compared it to fandoms and how if you like something and everyone else seems to have the same reason for liking it or whatever, the people who it especially means some thing to, their voices can get lost. And that's what this show is all about giving the people what they want and getting all the voices and stuff. Fandoms are often seen as one collective unit but you can't expect them all to want the same thing because they're all made up of very different individuals. Etc. It was good.

Our collective name was Kevin. We did a coordinated clap ("the asmr you do want to hear") it was the coolest fucking thing ever ajrnejfnej to build the hive mind. Then we chose a breed of dog for them to get "they just want us to get a dog Phil that's all they want" and Phil led it he was like I think I can get everyone to think the same thing, and we chose Fluffy the very terrifying Chihuahua it was so cool how they did it and that was the one I got so yay! They asked who didn't get fluffy and then they were like "that's okay that just means you aren't part of Kevin... YET." And then they just kept saying how we needed to get inside Kevin and stuff it was like okay wow.

Then we had the WHATS UNDER DANS BED. First of all that box is fucking hilarious, and I think Dan mentioned Phil just wanting an excuse to use props lmao. They explained it and then Phil brought out the audience participation balls "Phil has three balls." Okay. But they really emphasized how if you didn't want it you could just throw it to someone who did like they were so nice and understanding about it and when the music stopped Phil asked and made sure everyone who had one wanted it :). Also they were like keep the answers like amazingphil channel okay keep it PG. But it was actually a really cool concept and the lights went rainbow when they were throwing them around, which I LOVED! The three answers were an anthill but the ants are tiny dogs, a fursuit made of maltesers, and "I think he's trolling us and it's empty"/nothing. Y'all Phil was like has anyone seen a key under their seat and Dan was like wait what are we talking about wait no no I have the key akfnfjejd. They opened it, got the silver tube, opened that and got the scroll, and then they were like this has been in the tube in the locked box on the stage the whole time how could it possibly say what three random members of the audience said, and then they SLOWLY UNROLLED IT AND IT SAID TINY DOG ANTHILL, FURSUIT, AND NOTHING YALL I WAS SHOOK OUT OF MY MIND LIKE THE ONLY THING THAT COULD HAVE MADE THE SHOW WAS MAGIC AND THEY JUST DID THAT OH MY GOD. I'm still shook about it.

Then Phil took the banner and tore it up into like three or four big pieces and was like okay guys tear it up and pass it around tear and share I was so shook I was like oh my god I want a piece of that banner but obviously I was balconey, so they were ripping off pieces and passing it around and Dan and Phil were like omg it's like the walking dead down there "oh my gosh... That is.. violent." I was so shook that they did that like that was so nice and good like snejdbdabfbo.

Survey! Dan dabbed when he said statistics and Phil was like don't dab to statistics and Dan dabbed again and was like math *dab* there was so much unnecessary dabbing it was wow. Phil likes to use props and costumes so the brought out the glasses and clipboards YALL THEM IN GLASSES IN REAL LIFE 😭. Phil read the options for the audience participation one really dramatically and Dan was like "Phil wrote all the answers to these questions obviously" to which Phil replied "I wanted to make them spicy." 68% like audience participation, sixty some feel like they really know Dan and Phil (8% said who are Dan and Phil and Dan was like where do you think you are Shrek the musical? It was so good. I think Phil said maybe that's the parents. Incredible.) (Unnecessary third option bc Phil wanted to see what would happen - it used the middle screen) 40% like the sims the best, but pinof had 36%. Ditl had 16%, and baking and crafts both had four. They ROASTED the four percent who love crafts lmao it was great. (They spent the whole tour budget on the pie chart for the video series lmao it was FANCY) Sixty percent of people whlant Dan and Phil to give the people what Dan and Phil want, so I was really proud of us and Dan seemed surprised and happy about it he said Augusta was like ninty percent what the people want lmao.

ONE FINAL QUESTION WE ASKED YOU DAN OR PHIL BUT THATS TOO EASY NO WE ASKED YOU WHO WOULD YOU SACRIFICE BUT DAN NO ONES REALLY GOING TO BE SACRIFICED RIGHT THIS IS JUST A QUESTION ON A SURVEY IN A STAGE SHOW "I CAN SAY WHATEVER I WANT ABOUT DAN AND PHIL THERE ARE NO CONSEQUENCES... RIGHT?"

SUPER DRAMATIC SACRIFICE DAN OR PHIL "YOU MIGHT SAY I CANT CHOOSE TOO BAD THE WORLD IS FULL OF HARD DECISIONS ONE OF US WILL BE STRAPPED TO THIS WHEEL" PHIL SAID "ONE OF US IS GOING TO BE PUT IN MORTAL DANGER RIGHT NOW" AND THEN THEY BOTH JUMPED ONTO THE PLATFORM WITH THE WHEEL AND RODE IT BACKWARDS AND THEN INTERMISSION HOLY FUCKING SHIT THEYRE SO DRAMATIC AND EXTRA OH MY GOD IT WAS INCREDIBLE.

I'm forgetting so much but I'm gonna do this in two parts. Intermission seemed to come so quickly! It was at almost eight forty. Intermission was cool I stood up and stretched my legs bc as soon as I sat down my left leg fell asleep and it's still fucked up the. Some more jams though, and the last song they play was The Final Countdown lmao.

Quick note they are both so beautiful ??? Like?? I couldn't stop staring at their fucking legs oh my god and Dan's knees with his ripped jeans help. Also, I was mesmerised by the way Phil walks? And the way he runs and skips and does little jumps and shit? Like it's actually really graceful his legs are So Long and I'm just obsessed with watching him walk around omg. In summary - Legs ™

Edit: I totally forgot about the airhorn during Truth Bombs ajgbfjrnfsiej it was WILD Phil kept playing with it and pressing buttons to make noises before we even started doing Dan's, and Dan was like omg stop but we were all cheering because obviously it was amazing and Dan was like don't cheer when he does that you're encouraging him and we just cheered louder. (Phil also stroked the airhorn remote - the number of times some variation of the word stroke was said tonight..... So much)

At some point during the beginning they talked about why everyone loves the sims bc you can make people and make them do whatever you want and Phil was like like put a hundred sims in a swimming pool and remove the ladders and watch them drown slowly and I used to do that a lot as a kid does that say something and Dan was like that would explain a lot actually (I swear to God he said that phrase about Phil like three or four times throughout the show like wow). And Phil was like you could also make them woohoo with a skeleton or an alien and HE THRUSTED TO EMPHASIZE HIS POINT I WAS LIKE JESUS FUCK STOP PLEASE.

#richmond ii #interactive introverts #dan and phil #dnp #ii #ii spoilers #interactive introverts spoilers #dan howell #amazingphil #july 12th 2018 #altria theater #future #probably edit this

[moodboardinthecloud]

Consume less, create more

Modern technology makes us consumers instead of creatorsAug 21, 2019

17

Like most people, I like to sit on the bus, stare out at the zombies drooling over their phones, and feel smugly superior. I see their bored, lifeless eyes and pity these sheeple whose lives have been ruined in service of Big Tech profits.

This lasts for about thirty seconds before I get bored. The guy next to me chuckles at something on Kanye’s Twitter feed. Wait Kanye? I thought he was off Twitter! In seconds my own phone is out, and I’m furiously scrolling through Reddit, looking for fresh memes.

And so goes the common trope: we all hate our phones, social media, and Netlfix—but we also love them.

Eventually tiring of plain-vanilla bus-ride superiority, I brought a book with me on the bus. Not a Kindle, or an iPad, but a bona fide bound book.

After every sentence or two I would gaze incredulously around the bus with a sneaky grin. These dumb cows, I thought, look at them melt their brains with their stupid social feeds. They can’t focus like I can. I was about to turn back to Sapiens when I noticed a woman in the back of the bus who wasn’t staring at her phone. Nor was she reading a book. She wasn’t even listening to a monotonous NPR podcast.

This psychopath was sketching. She had a charcoal pencil and was sketching a human figure. She didn’t look happy exactly. But she looked engaged. She looked intent. And all of a sudden my smugness fled. I realized that reading a book was really just like reading Reddit—both were consumptive activitives.

Were previous generations really better off because they merely watched TV, or listened to radio, or read books? All of these activities are passive. All of these activities involve letting external thoughts temporarily replace your own. Today’s smartphones differ from medieval books only in degree—all media is created to be consumed.

I had to start creating.

Corín Tellado was a Spanish author who wrote over 5,000 books in her 81-year lifespan. That’s over sixty books a year, assuming she came out of the womb fully literate. She claimed she could write a book in two days, and I’m inclined to believe her.

I can’t write a tweet in two days. Nevertheless, I was inspired by Tellado to stop consuming and start creating. If we categorize all our waking moments as either consumptive or creative, I was probably at a 10:1 ratio, and that’s only if I label “copy/pasting stock images into Keynote presentations” as “creative.” Tellado was probably closer to 1:1. How could I get closer to that?

On my next bus ride I pulled out my phone and opened the iOS notes app. I created a new note titled Essay.

I stared at that off-white screen for several long minutes without typing anything. I don’t have anything to write about, I thought. Also, I’m not even a good writer…maybe I should look online for some tips…

But that was a bad idea and I knew it. So I swallowed my pride and just started writing:

Why I think creating stuff is a good thing.

An essay by Tom C.

This was going to be rough.

I think people consume too much, and don’t create enough. This is bad I think.

Like, really rough.

But I kept typing; pouring inane, kindergarten-level drivel into my phone.

The average person can type about 20 words per minute on a phone. My commute is about 30 minutes each way, so that’s a maximum of 1,200 words a day. Realistically I’m going to have to spend some time thinking about what to write, so let’s be conservative and shoot for 500 words a day.

I read somewhere that a good blog post is 1,600 words…so if I work fast I could pump one out every three days, right?

The first day I wrote 100 horrible words. Really super bad. No one will ever see these words.

Day two I wrote 80 words. I think I psyched myself out over how bad the previous day went.

The third day I only kept writing out of stubbornness. I knew this project was doomed, but I felt like really dooming it.

By then end of the first week I had 500 words in the bank. I didn’t feel good about it, but it felt slightly better than scrolling through 47 #AndThatsWhyYouAreMyEx tweets.

My essay was garbage. But it was my garbage.

So I kept at it, day after day. I once again started feeling smugly superior to my fellow bus riders. Look at me creating, I thought. Look at me contributing to the world, while these reptiles just distract themselves with their phones until they die.

This arrogance lasts for a few seconds until I re-read the stream-of-consciousness dogshit I’m typing into my phone.

I’ve never done sales, but I know a little bit about the “sales funnel.” You hire college grads to make 500 cold calls in a week. Of those 500 calls, maybe 5% agree to watch a demo of the product. Then some slightly-more-senior sales people do this demo, and perhaps 20% of those demos end up in contract negotiation. And 60% of those end up as actual sales. That means you need 500 cold calls to make three sales.

I think that’s what creating is like. You need to write 500 words to get three good ones. Or 500 sketches, business ideas, or recipes. If you’re really really good, you can increase your overall conversion rate from 0.6% to 1%—but the most reliable way to get better results is to just produce more crap.

So I kept at it. week after week. Sometime in the middle of the fourth week I had 3,000 words in my Notes app. That’s when I started editing.

Editing is hard because you realize how bad you are. But editing is easy because we’re all better at criticizing than we are at creating.

The good thing about forcing yourself to produce a bunch of garbage is that you don’t feel bad deleting it. You’re not married to any of your work, because you wrote it half-awake on the 1BX while some crazy dude negotiated his fare with the driver. I gleefully deleted hundreds of words, trying not to think about the neanderthal who must’ve written them.

It was exactly a month after I started this creative project that I finished this first essay. I read it over for the bazillionth time and thought this only a small tire fire.

In it’s final form, the essay was almost exactly 1,600 words. I called it Consume less, create more.

You are, in fact, reading that essay right now. It may not look like it, but this is the product of an entire month of bus rides. If you live in San Francisco and saw someone on the 1BX smashing the face of his phone like he was angry at it, you probably saw me writing this essay.

Perhaps three people will read this essay, including my parents. Despite that, I feel an immense sense of accomplishment. I’ve been sitting on buses for years, but I have more to show for my last month of bus rides than the rest of that time combined.

Smartphones, I’ve decided, are not evil. This entire essay was composed on an iPhone. What’s evil is passive consumption, in all its forms.

Twitter, Facebook, Instagram—we can all agree that these are serious timewasters. But what about The Economist or War and Peace? How much can you really remember from all of those New York Times op-eds you’ve read? Could you summarize the major themes of Grapes of Wrath?

Most knowledge worth having comes from practice. It comes from doing. It comes from creating. Reading about the trade war with China doesn’t make you smarter—it gives you something to say at dinner parties. It gives you the illusion that you have the vaguest idea what is happening in our enormously complex world.

A lot of ink has been spilled about the perils of modern technology. How it distracts us, how it promotes unhealthy comparisons with others, how it makes us fat, how it limits social interaction, how it spies on us. And all of these things are probably true, to some extent.

But the real tragedy of modern technology is that it’s turned us into consumers. Our voracious consumption of media parallels our consumption of fossil fuels, corn syrup, and plastic straws. And although we’re starting to worry about our consumption of those physical goods, we seem less concerned about our consumption of information.

We treat information as necessarily good, and comfort ourselves with the feeling that whatever article or newsletter we waste our time with is actually good for us. We equate reading with self improvement, even though we forget most of what we’ve read, and what we remember isn’t useful.

So stop reading and start creating. Paint, draw, compose, code, or plan. It will be hard. It will be slow. It will be frustrating. But I promise it will be worth it.

https://blog.tjcx.me/p/consume-less-create-more

[impeach-trump2018]

Cole Launius

English 212

Professor Kim Lacey

30 June 2018

Analytical Reflection

            This class was a great surprise for me. I had no idea that the course would be based off of this great book. As I engaged in the reading and further went through the subjects inside with my review of “The Truman Show,” my ability to identify with the surveillance around me grew as I gained more insight and information. The issue at hand is not only a matter of unethical decision making above the governed heads, but also the idea that surveillance and the lack of privacy can create a negative impact on the human condition. Surveillance culture is exemplified in today’s society primarily through films, music, and art, and informative pieces all in which I intend to dive into as I examine and reflect on a world surrounded by the camera lens.

          I think that ethically speaking we can all agree that it is wrong to invade someone else’s personal space. According to information from The University of Tennessee at Martin, surveillance involves paying close attention to someone else, and to me that is another reason it is made unethical because everyone deserves their own space and privacy and by watching closely, that perimeter is destroyed. It is annoying to find yourself being watched by the overhead camera in the local Walmart or VG’s, but when someone gets close to you it rekindles a different kind of emotion. One that makes you question the persons upbringing and their morals to go along with it. “Stop reading my texts,” your friend yells as you lean back into your seat in the car. Why do you feel the need to read what I am saying? Why are you so interested in my conversations? Did your parents teach you any manners? It becomes more of an issue of ethics than it does about us solely being watched and recorded for other purposes. Trust and privacy go hand and hand, and when someone’s privacy is compromised by the public environment, they tend to lose trust and have more opposition. In an example from a clip from “The Dark Knight,” Batman attempts to link all cell phones in the city together to create a virtual map to find his objective.

          Surveillance changes the way people act around each other and in public especially. For a moment I had reacted with such hostility when I first had discovered that I was constantly being watched and others reassured me that I no longer had any privacy. I would stand taller, push out my chest and walk like I had just done a great workout at the gym. I am a very big fan of Hip-Hop and moreover I have noted that most of the artists that I listen to have a gig for fashion. They are always wearing something extravagant in the spotlight. Said perfectly by 2 Chainz in one of his songs, “Feds Watching,” he states that he will be dressed accordingly if they are watching him. This is most definitely interesting because he chooses to boast about changing his view under surveillance because I am sure he wears sweatpants lounging around the house. Another unfortunate way that people change and act differently when being watched is in a show called “Hansen Vs Predator.” In this show Chris Hansen creates a fake meet up with creeps on the internet and then interviews them right on the spot to find out why they choose to do what they do and try to trap young children. When watching the predator as Chris enters the room, his facial expression changes so quickly, you know he knows something went wrong, and that now he is being watched very closely.

          A few pictures I happen to come across on the global web reminded me that those cameras we see in our peripheral are not about just keeping us out of danger and harm’s way, but it is about the politicians, according to Mike Harris from The Telegraph. And I also agree, that anything related to the law never is about the people first, but the ones who put it into effect. The first image scripted, “We need rules that limit our leaders’ power more than we need rules that limit our rights.” I really felt as if I related to this quote or even wrote it because it seems like a thought that would come screaming out of my head in the middle of the night. How doesn’t everyone in the world agree with what this says? It makes more than complete sense, think about it. If we live in a democracy, then we have the ultimate say, yet we don’t, and we are still under claims as a democracy. If the people truly had the power, not power restricted by congressmen, we could change the way things are imposed on us all and put the spotlight on the ones who get to make the big decisions. Another photo that I saw was more of a political cartoon if anything, but it still recreated the idea of militant opposition towards the government. The cartoon was an army ranger pointing a gun to an unarmed victim, with the victim saying not to shoot, but also the ranger looking back at a tv recorder saying, “don’t shoot!”  The irony of this situation is also a great factor and a reason why I chose to include it. You are pointing a gun at someone, yet yelling at a camera not to record? Sounds like something fishy is going on.

          In life today people and companies, and the government use surveillance in other ways as well. One common way surveillance is utilized in today’s economy is that there is a lot of online traffic so app developers share information gained from watching users and allow them to shape apps and clothing and shopping related goods to a specific audience and you could be targeted depending on what you post. You may post different things to avoid this then becoming someone you’re not. This is called social sorting when companies take advantage of your information that you post to social media sites. There are also other ways that surveillance can cause change within someone. For example, if your co-worker is staring at you everyday after work, you might get a new car, or park in a different spot to get away from the state of being watched in your own space.

          Cell phones, iPads, MacBooks and cameras have taken over the life of the youth. Then there are memes which have taken over the internet. What is ironic is that as the amount of surveillance in the world increases, the more we joke about being watched and create memes about it on our social media sites. But the fact that we are creating jokes and messing around with being watched and surveilled by the government and others is kind of scary. Why are we joking about having zero sense of privacy around us and for others? That is unnatural and strange, and it is upsetting to think that everyone else in society has come to accept being watched all of the time. Surveillance has had its way weaving into everyones lives so easily because it was not a choice but an unfortunate and irreversible consequence.

 Works Cited

 Always, Clean Music, director. 2 Chainz - Feds Watching. YouTube, YouTube, 7 July

          2013, www.youtube.com/watch?v=-pkd2lUxwQE.

Borg, Anna. “EurWORK European Observatory of Working Life.” Finland: Wage

          Formation | Eurofound, 31 July 2014, www.eurofound.europa.eu/observatories/

          eurwork/articles/working-conditions/impact-of-electronic-surveillance-in-the-

          workplace.

Daily, Crime Watch, director. Hansen Vs Predator. YouTube, YouTube, 15 Sept. 2016,

          www.youtube.com/watch?v=VOBgE10sEQE.

DeGeurin, Mack. “Mass Surveillance Memes Show Our Collective Anxiety Over

          Government Spying.” Motherboard, Motherboard, 2 Apr. 2018,

          motherboard.vice.com/en_us/article/zmg3ky/surveillance-memes-nsa-fbi-

          facebook.

Ellis, Daniel, director. Bragging Gone Wrong. YouTube, YouTube, 21 Apr. 2015,

          www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZ9kKgZ0-pM.

Gleisner, David. “This Is My Jam: Government Surveillance Memes.” Are There Really

          3,700 Abortions Each Day in the U.S.?, North by Northwestern, 29 Jan. 2018,

          www.northbynorthwestern.com/story/this-is-my-jam-government-surveillance-

          memes/.

Harris, Mike. “The Politics of Surveillance Are about Politics, Not Keeping Us Safe.”

          The Telegraph, Telegraph Media Group, 4 Nov. 2015, www.telegraph.co.uk/news/

          uknews/crime/11975759/The-politics-of-surveillance-are-about-politics-not-

          keeping-us-safe.html.

Legend, Dark, director. The Dark Knight. YouTube, YouTube, 10 Dec. 2015,

          www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRELLH86Edo.

Macnish, Kevin. “Surveillance Ethics.” Internet Encyclopedia of Philosophy, 2008,

          www.iep.utm.edu/surv-eth/.

Moran, Sean. “Surveillance Ethics.” Philosophy Now: a Magazine of Ideas, Philosophy

          Now, 2015, philosophynow.org/issues/110/Surveillance_Ethics.

Munn, Nathan. “How Mass Surveillance Harms Societies and Individuals - and What

          You Can Do About It.” CJFE | Canadian Journalists for Free Expression, 8 Nov.

          2016, www.cjfe.org            how_mass_surveillance_harms_societies_and_individuals_and_what_you_can_d

o_about_it.

OB, Andres, director. Robert Downey Jr. Blooper. YouTube, YouTube, 18 July 2015,

          www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCC5SfQHOfo.

Shaw, Jonathan. “The Watchers.” Harvard Magazine, Harvard Magazine, 18 Dec. 2016,

          harvardmagazine.com/2017/01/the-watchers.

Wang, Victoria, et al. “Surveillance and Identity: Conceptual Framework and Formal

          Models | Journal of Cybersecurity | Oxford Academic.” OUP Academic, Oxford

          University Press, 15 Dec. 2017, academic.oup.com/cybersecurity/article/

          3/3/145/4748787.

[rinnnyxr]

You're nineteen and a vegetarian.

You've been a vegetarian for over a year.

You don't like John Lennon.

You are studying Mandarin Chinese.

You have blue eyes and white hair.

People often mistaken you for sixteen or under.

You enjoy reading and mathematics.

Your favorite flavour of tea is mint.

You listen to foreign music.

You watch the anime Naruto Shippuden.

You prefer routine to your day.

You've never attended a concert.

You're Chinese.

Your favorite sport is basketball.

Your favorite basketball team is the Lakers.

You basically want to marry Kobe Bryant.

You have a Samsung S4.

You hate English quite a lot.

You like playing card games.

You think people who play League of Legends is stupid.

You are often jealous of anything trying to take something away from you.

Your parents are scientists.

You are really good at physics.

You prefer noodles over rice.

You want to own a BMW when you're older.

You were in choir in high school.

I cannot sing.

You like spicy food.

You're short compared to your friends.

You really like Hello Kitty and try to own a lot of it.

Your father is slowly dying.

Your mother is studying in a university.

You have a crush on someone who is younger than you.

You like to eat apples a lot.

You've had braces and they were recently taken out.

You recently decided to have bangs for your hair.

You eat rice at least every other day.

You live in a huge house.

You have multiple strangers living in your house with you.

You got a large amount of Halloween candy last year.

You are really good at badminton.

You like to watch Asian reality shows.

You have no siblings.

You hate your name.

You are very aggressive.

You overeat a lot and feel very guilty afterwards.

You are used to being left out.

You hate missing the person you care for.

You are a slow learner.

You don't like your teeth.

You have dyed your hair orange before.

Your friends think you have a great taste in music.

You would chose food over love anyday.

You often swear too much.

You have an older sister.

Your mother owns a beautiful car.

My parents own beautiful cars.

You are only nice to people you trust.

You like mood rings.

You obsess over Candy Crush.

You have an iPad or iPad Mini.

You prefer your hair in a ponytail more.

You have very noticable dimples.

You always use a cute voice with people.

You have a blue bicycle.

-

Gemini talk talk talk matches other people’s energy documentary fan easily distracted meme bombing friends knows a little about a lot dual personality makes friends easily sarcasm will leave people on read supreme wit ranting about your favorite subjects craves attention exaggerates for drama unhinged energy googles everything argues for fun infinite curiosity joking off the pain reality tv binges blocking people you hate adopts movie character traits always running late interrupting 7/24

Libra people pleaser excessive emoji use can’t take anyone disliking you stands up for what’s right expensive taste sarcastic humor drowning in self pity indecisive af knows everyone’s business unintentionally (and intentionally) being flirty pros and cons lists romanticizes everything personality matching people superb music taste avoids confrontation at all costs has been called fake online shopping addiction always comforts friends loves museums meddling in people’s lives peace keeper makes friends easily can scam your way into anything 13/24

Aquarius internet stalking overthinking everything hides emotions open minded ^but also hard headed will prove people wrong randomly disappears arguing on the internet hates small talk rebellious needs a lot of space fights for social justice tried to cut your own hair before indie music putting a lot of pressure on yourself power naps jumps to conclusions not caring what people think knows a million useless facts self-sufficient wants the best for everyone conspiracy theories attracted to unavailable people a little weird 19/24

Out of the air signs, you’re more of a Aquarius

-

Millennial Things | bold what you do

Binging Netflix a lot Always Snapchatting everything

Struggling with Instagram captions Always having to delete stuff because of full storage

Eating out at a place you discovered on Instagram Used iPods/MP3 players to listen to music Wanted a flip phone before iPhones were invented Can’t help but post everything on social media

Have/had/want acrylic nails

Always looking at the phone Use a bunch of hashtags

Have tattoos or piercings

Shop online Eat a lot of avocado/avocado food

Closet is full of unnecessary clothes Get your food delivered

Love drinking coffee

Use public transport a lot Eat a lot of takeout food Buy clothes or things you don’t necessarily need Work out/go to the gym/want to be fit

Focus on self-love

Have at least one entertainment site subscription

Love traveling/traveled overseas recently Spend too much money

Gen Z

Spend most of your time online Procrastinate 24/7 Consume too much tv/media content Know a lot about technology

Aware and accepting of diversity Binge Netflix Enjoy creating things Share a lot on social media

Prefer to do things digitally Grew up in a digital world Talk to friends online more than in person Have met a lot of new people online

Prefer digital books to hard copy

Career-focused Prefer online shopping over physical

Interested in things like fashion, beauty, and health

Watch a lot of YouTubers Aware of world issues and want to help

Eat a lot of fast food People your age are Insta “baddies” and “influencers” Want diversity

-

Bold What Applies To You 1. had sex. 2. bought condoms. 3. gotten pregnant. 4. failed a class. 5. kissed a boy. 6. kissed a girl. 7. used a little paper bag for lunch. 8. had a job. 9. slipped on ice. 10. missed the school bus. total so far: 6

11. left the house without my wallet. 12. bullied someone on the internet. 13. sexted. 14. had sex in public. 15. played on a sports team. 16. smoked weed. 17. smoked cigarettes. 18. smoked a cigar. 19. drank alcohol. 20. watched “The Breakfast Club”

total so far: 11

21. been overweight. 22. been underweight. 23. had an eating disorder. 24. been to a wedding. 25. made fun of someone for being fat. 26. been on the computer for 5 hours straight. 27. watched tv for 5 hours straight. 28. been late for work. 29. been late for school. 30. kissed in the rain.

total so far: 20

31. showered with someone else. 32. failed my driver’s test. 33. ran a mile in less than 10 minutes. 34. been outside my home country. 35. been on a road trip longer than 5 hours. 36. had lice. 37. gotten fired. 38. had a credit card. 39. been to a professional sports game. 40. broken a bone. total so far: 26

41. been unhappy about my weight. 42. won a trophy. 43. cut myself. 44. had an STD. 45. got engaged. 46. been on a diet. 47. tried out to be on a tv show. 48. rode in a taxi. 49. been to prom. 50. played a drinking game.

total so far: 32

51. stayed up for 24 hours or more. 52. been to a concert. 53. had a threesome. 54. had a crush on someone of the same sex. 55. been in a car accident. 56. had braces. 57. learned another language 58. killed an animal. 59. been at a yard sale. 60. been to a Japanese steakhouse.

total so far: 36

61. wore makeup. 62. talked to someone via webcam. 63. lost my virginity before I was 16. 64. had my wisdom teeth taken out. 65. kissed someone a different race than myself. 66. snuck out of the house. 67. bought porn. 68. had a virus on my computer. 69. had oral sex. 70. dyed my hair. total so far: 43

71. gone skinny dipping. 72. graduated from college. 73. wore someone else’s clothes. 74. voted in a presidential election. 75. rode in an ambulance. 76. rode in a helicopter. 77. caught the stove on fire. 78. got in a fight. 79. met someone famous. 80. been on vacation. total so far: 48

81. been on an airplane. 82. been on a boat. 83. broken something expensive. 84. had surgery. 85. kissed someone before I was 14. 86. beat a video game. 87. found something valuable on the ground. 88. made a survey. 89. stalked someone on Facebook/myspace. 90. prank-called someone.

total so far: 55

91. been to a library outside of school. 92. spent over $100 shopping in one day. 93. cut my hair and hated it. 94. peed outside. 95. went fishing. 96. helped with charity. 97. taken a pregnancy test. 98. been rejected by a crush. 99. been suspended from school. 100. broken a mirror.

grand total: 61/100

[stephmauro-blog]

Growing up, I would consider my early child hood, approximate age 1- 9, as ‘normal’. Playing with my neighbors, going on excursions in the woods, playing with worms, running through sprinkles, playing red light, green light on the sidewalk in front of my house. When comparing it to today, were every 8 year old has an iPad while walking through the grocery store, I definitely consider mine as normal. Today, we are known as the generation who spends $5 a day on coffee. We are told that we are having the most difficult time buying houses. We are told that we aren’t having enough children. Millennials tend to hate relationships. I don’t think it’s that the relationships are hated. I honestly think it’s that we are so worried about what’s going on around us, and whose post your crush is liking, instead of caring about what’s going on directly in front of us. We’re so worried, even though we deny it, on everyone’s opinion of us, this is super evident on Instagram! We cringe and delete a picture if doesn’t receive XX number of likes. We filter our photos, to hide an impurity. We enforce those campaigns about ‘loving yourself and all your flaws,’ yet majority of us work out 6 days a week, and it’s not for our health it’s so we look good for the gram. I remember entering middle school and was so worried about having a cell phone, A CELL PHONE! I was only 11 years old, who I was I calling? Maybe my dad or my mom. I was so worried that I would be ‘weird’ for not having a Verizon Razor. In 2008 this was the phone to have, and if you didn’t a pink, or red razor, god help your popularity status. By far the worst years for me were middle school, years 2008- 2011. Ages 11- 14.   We, the millennials, or at least a good 80% of us had a Myspace, Formspring, Facebook, Tinder or some sort of social media. Let’s reflect on what really went down on these specific three social media pages. Myspace, in theory it is very similar to today’s Facebook, but none the less we know how different the two are. There was a section on your Myspace profile which allowed you to select a certain number of friends to display, and every body knew these displayed friends were “your best friends.” Right off the bat, at 11 years old, you are pressured in announcing who your supposed best friends were. How about this nifty trend.. “like this if you want to write my bio, or redo my page

Anonymous