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monsterenergysimp · 4 years

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Permanence

corpse husband x fem!reader

summary: you meet corpse on a stream and you’re surprised when he reaches out to you

warnings: cursing, mentions of tattooing

word count: 1.9k

notes: This is proof read but could have missed some stuff. This is my first corpse fic and my first time writing fanfic since I posted that super cringey book on wattpad when I was like 12 or something. I’d appreciate feed back so please reach out to me :)

main blog @itsmysleepover

read part 2 here!

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

You were cleaning up your station so you can get home and stream. You loved your day job as a tattoo artist but you also really enjoyed streaming. It started as a way to promote yourself as an artist and the shop you worked at but it eventually became a really fun way to destress at the end of the week (or day if you were really itching to stream). “Hey Y/N was that your last client?” your boss, KC, asked as she walked to the front of the shop and put new flash drawings on the walls.

“Yes ma’am!” You said back excitedly. You finished cleaning your station and tossed your black gloves in the trash. “And you can’t trick me into staying and taking walk-ins,” you joked with her. She rolled her eyes and walked back into her office “It was one time,” she said as you slid on your jacket. As you walked out your phone buzzed in your pocket and you checked to see who had texted you. It was a message from Sean asking if you were free to play Among Us with him and some other streamers. You replied that you were on your way home right now and totally down. You were excited to see who was playing this time around since their Among Us streams are super entertaining and have gotten really popular.

On your way back you tweeted and posted to your Instagram story that you’d be streaming soon and set up all your stuff once you made it home. After a few minutes, you had a couple of thousand people watching. You entered the discord chat and Sean spoke up. “Everyone this is Y/N she’s sensitive so be gentle.”

“It’s nice to finally meet you guys and I’m not gentle, I'm ruthless,” You say into your mic and notice the chat calling you a liar. Everyone was in the lobby waiting for the game to start. “You sound way too sweet to be ruthless,” Corpse said. The countdown started and you were imposter with Charlie.

“This should be fun,” you told the stream. Yout tried playing strategically but after such a long shift your brain was mush. You saw Poki in nav and killed her then vented into shields. Not long after the body was reported and you were sure you were going to get voted out or at least sussed.

“Where was the body?” Felix asked. “Nav and I didn’t see anyone near there so whoever is imposter must have vented,” Corpse responded. Felix spoke up again. “I think I saw Y/N walk that way and I haven’t seen her since.”

Shit, shit, shit shit. “I’m in shield right now so-” you said trying to defend yourself but Charlie spoke up. “I was doing tasks with her earlier and I saw her walk into shields so she’s safe but I’m still not sure about Rae.” Everyone discussed a bit more and some people, including Corpse, voted for you but Rae got the majority vote and was ejected. You released your breath and kept playing being extra careful.

“Okay, guys that was super close. Corpse knows and is out to get me,” you said to the chat. You were eventually voted off but one round later victory was written across your screen with your ghost and Charlie’s avatar. “Good game guys,” Corpse said.

“I told you guys I was ruthless!”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

You sat at your station doing nothing because a client had canceled a four-hour session. You were listening to music and sketching some stuff but you were bored out of your mind and you didn’t want to leave in case you got a walk-in. The music got quiet as you received a twitter notification saying someone had messaged you. You reached for your phone and saw you had gotten a dm from Corpse.

C: hey :)

You didn’t know what to respond. You were mostly confused as to why he decided to message you out of the blue. Did he want something? But what would he want?

Y: Hii! This is sudden

C: was i bothering you?

shit sorry!

Y: Youre fine I wasn’t doing anything rn

C: how has your day been

i dont usually do stuff like this

Y: Im glad you did im doing better now I was so bored

C: what were you doing that was so terrible

Y: NOTHING! thats the problem :(

C: im sure youll find something to do

You stared at his message. Unsure what to respond.

Y: Im gonna give myself a tattoo

C: what?

NO!

You tossed the needles you used for your tattoo into the sharps box. “Oh my god you didn’t,” KC said. She noticed the wrap on your calve from the tattoo you just gave yourself out of boredom. “It’s not my fault I didn’t have anything else to do!” You said trying to defend yourself. She sighed and just shook her head. “Just go home business is slow today.” It was raining so the shop probably wasn’t going to get a walk-in anyway and you didn’t have any more clients for the day. It was only 2 pm but you drove home and after making lunch for yourself decided to stream. You weren’t expecting too many people so it was bound to be super chill. Your leg felt sore reminding you of the tattoo. You snapped a quick pic of the fresh jack-o-lantern on the side of your calve and messaged it to Corpse.

Y: [image] it came out nice!

C: thats super cool actually

i was concerned why you would just give yourself a tattoo but i found your instagram and youre super talented

Y: Thank you!

For some reason, it felt strange to just have that be the end of your response.

Y: Im about to start streaming if you wanted to watch

[link]

C: ill be watching ;)

What’s that supposed to mean?

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

You sat in your apartment watching tv, hand lost in a bag of Doritos, and scrolling through twitter. You had stopped paying attention to the anime playing on the screen since you’ve watched it a hundred times and knew you wouldn’t miss anything. It was Saturday and you usually take those days off. Take the time to do chores or meet up with some friends but today you felt like not doing any of those things. As you continue your endless scroll (not helping the twitter addiction you told yourself you’d try to get a handle on) you got a message from Corpse.

C: wanna talk?

You looked down at the message unsure of how to answer. It was a simple yes or no and the obvious answer was yes. You and Corpse had started talking more regularly. You still didn’t have each other’s phone numbers but it was fine. Your conversations weren’t too big-- just you sending him memes, tiktoks, and telling him how much you liked the songs he would drop. Or him complimenting a tattoo you did. Sometimes he’d message you during streams telling you funny stuff his fans would say in the chat and you’d do the same. You learned a bit about each other but nothing too deep or serious. Like how you two lived a few cities away and you both really liked Donnie Darko. When Sean first invited you to that game out of everyone else there you were most excited to meet Corpse. He’s just so sweet and funny. Of course, you’d love to talk to him but you were also itching to talk to him and the last thing you’d ever want to do was make him uncomfortable.

Y: Yeah id love to talk

Here goes nothing.

Y: Wanna facetime or something?

No pressure or anything it could even be a regular call

I think facetime is just my default lol

You sent those last two messages quickly after you had sent the first. You wished you could know what he was thinking. It was killing you to think you had turned him off from talking to you completely. You put your phone down on the couch and went to wash your hand of Dorito dust. When you got back from the kitchen you turned off the tv and tossed yourself onto the couch.

Still no message.

Why am I so fucking stupid?

Just as you were standing up to stretch from sitting on the couch all day your phone buzzed. You reached for it fast and looked to see that it was him. You became super excited still not even knowing what the message said. It could have told you to never talk to him again for all you knew.

C: sure lets facetime

xxx-xxx-xxxx

You had his phone number. You added him to your small but growing contact list and called. You sat on your couch waiting for a response when he finally picked up the screen was black. It didn’t upset you; you kind of expected it and didn’t care what he had to do to make himself more comfortable during this call.

“Hey,” he said. His voice was raspier than usual.

“Did you just wake up?” You asked and looked at the time. It was about a little past noon and you had only eaten Doritos all day. Shit, you should probably make a decent meal.

“Not that long ago but yeah,” he responded and giggled. That giggle.

“Well, I’ve eaten nothing but Doritos all day while rewatching Ouran High School Host Club, so you’re welcome to join me as I make myself something to eat.”

“Sounds like fun; what are we eating?”

“I don’t know yet,” You said as you stood up and made your way to the kitchen. You opened the pantry and looked. You noticed a can of diced tomatoes and reached for it then checked the expiration date. It was still good. On your counter were some onions and garlic. “How about some tomato soup?”

“Sounds delicious.” you smiled at Corpse and your phone screen not knowing if he was also looking at his screen or not. “You’re really pretty-- you know that?”

“Thanks, but you don’t have to--”

“I’ve already told you what an incredible artist you are so many times I bet you’re tired of hearing it, but you already know what a talented artist you are.”

“That is very kind of you Corpse,” you said to him bashfully as you chopped the onion and opened the can of tomatoes. “But once again you don’t have to reach so far to compliment me.”

“I’m not reaching you are talented and beautiful and--”

“I thought I was pretty.” You could hear him chuckle with a smile on his face. “You’re both,” he said. You could feel your face getting warm from blushing.

“Fuck you you’re making me blush. My face is all hot and stuff.”

He laughed at how flustered you got. “That’s the cutest thing ever.”

You didn’t know how to respond so you just put some olive oil in a pot and tossed in your onions. It became silent but it was a comfortable silence. You turned the stove on and watched the flame for a few seconds. “If it was dark we could pretend we were together and having a bonfire or something,” you said to the phone as you turned the camera to show him the flame (still not 100 percent sure if he was looking at you or not).

“I’ll put it on the list of things to do when you visit me someday.”

#corpse husband #corpse husband x reader #corpse husband imagine #corpse husband imagines #corpse husband x y/n #youtubers #caffeinated ramblings

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shortprince-cos · 4 years

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Sanders Asides Reactions

Putting it below cut because uh spoilers

-ITS CALLED "GAY OR NAY" HZJSNSMSJOBS

-"Flirting With Social Anxiety" Its about time you realized Roman

-speaking of Roman, ROMANS ON THE THUMBNAIL HSBSJSBHSBSB HE'S HERE

-art is also on the thumbnail, is this what he meant by "different"?

-intros the same besides (ha) the drawn on "A" so I'm guessing this will have a lot of animation in it?

-oh!!! Its 24 minutes!!! That's more than I thought which is good!!!

-"This episode is a central viewing for the overall storyline-" w h a t

-IT IS GONNA BE AN ANIMATIC I KNEW IT

-THE PREVIEW CLIPS LOOK SO CUTE AND FUNNY I'M SO EXCITED!!!!!

-omg they might do it live action too????

-oh the patreon thing is real alright, I'm ready for all the negative posts to come back on my dash

-"a little sampler...side" JDVDHNSJSB THOMAS I LOVE U

-WAIT THE TWEET WHERE HE SAID IT FEELS LIKE HIS OWN SATURDAY MORNING CARTOON WAS TOTALLY A HINT WASN'T IT

-"Flirt or Flight" GDDTDTDTDYFYFHFDYD

-oh Thomas we all do it

-me too Thomas

-ROMAN AND VIRGIL ARE GONNA POP OUTTA NOWHERE FOR LIKE 3 MINUTES AREN'T THEY

-GOOD BECAUSE I LOVE THIS

-Roman and Virgil making fun of Thomas' age DUVSJSDBDJJ YES

-the "I love you" thing omg dubdjsnsjdbhs

-"...you made me say that!" Hdjsbsjbsj

-"STOP PLAYING WITH PEOPLE'S HEARTS THOMAS" STSDYDDYDGDCUFFU ROMAN KNOWS FROM FIRST HAND EXPERIENCE

-i really like how Roman is playing a role in Thomas' anxiety, I wonder where the flirtings gonna come from tho

-Roman and Virgil, c'mon, that liar song is SO season one.

-AWWW WHO'S THIS HANDSOME GUY

-"We don't know if he's not gay." "You have used that argument on me far too many times" HA

-"He's got stickers on his laptop" "pretty gay" this is what happens when I try and find out if a girl is gay or not.

-"without having to do anything too extreme...like talking" ME TOO VIRGIL

-VIRGIL AND ROMAN BOTH LOVING THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS STICKER IS THE SOLIDARITY WE NEED

-"Pins!" HOW DOES VIRGIL DO THE SAME THING I DO WHEN TRYING TO FIGURE OUT SOMEONES SEXUALITY DHBSNSJSB

-also Roman's "-and needles? I'm on them too." Is adorable I love you Roman I missed you so much-

-"those jokes are old-" "you would know" OMG BUD

-"the sticker-button system" omg he has a system i love that

-OMG THEY'RE BEING THE SPORTS TALKER PEOPLE I LOVE THEM

-"I don't want me to be doing this either" MOOD

-GAY

-"great he's gay." U don't sound that excited?

-"No man!" "Uh its ROman. With an R" THE HIMBO IS BACK

-"...gay eyes?" "Gay eyes." WHAT ARE GAY EYES I NEED TO KNOW

-OMG ROMANS LITTLE SHOULDER SHIMMY HSBSJSBSJDBD

-"and this works?" "Most of the time...no." Hdbdjbshsb all gays are useless its ok

-dtdtdydyxydufyxyx Virgil's test spiel hhsbsjhsh

-"that's gotta mean something." "...that he likes basketball" Thomas has been DONE this entire video and I am here for it

-"i hate to rain on your black parade, Gerrard Gay-" UXVDJDBDJBXJXBXNDN ABOUT TIME

-"you're making a mistake!" "If I am, I'll add it to the list!" WHAT LIST WAIT ROMAN-

-omg Roman and Virgil are basically playing soccer with Thomas dhdbbdndjdb they keep pushing him xudbbdhdhd

-no one:

Thomas: 👉👈

-no one:

Thomas: oh hi thanks for checking in im ✨still a piece of garbage✨

-"that's like cyberstalking...but real life" "so...stalking" "...OH YOU'RE RIGHT" WHAT KIND OF INCORRECT QUOTE DID THIS COME FROM GSHXBJXNDJDN

-the guys gonna come out from the stall isn't he

-oh this got deep real quick ahhh my heart

-OMG I WAS VERY CLOSE THIS POOR RANDOM DUDE

-w h a t

-virgil what does this mean

-WAIT

-"will Deceit continue to be the answer to all your problems?" OMG WE GOING THERE TODAY BOIS

-OMG CUTE BOI INCOMING

-"HE FEARS THINGS TOO?" VIRGIL IS A HIMBO TOO OMG

-OMG NOOO GAY PANIC WHYYY

-"one more chance at happiness...squandered." Roman are u ok

-haha jk

-hes never ok

-OMG VIRGIL

-the tiny panickey breaths hit really hard for some reason

-you're gay for Roman I know u are why else would u do that

-omg Thomas this is so cute the gayyyssss

-I would die for Nico

-"...THAT WAS YOU?" YES NICO ILY

-"nothing but a bruised ego" "*annoyed prince noises*"

-OMG MY PRINXIETY HEART ROMAN JUST PUT HIS HAND ON VIRGIL'S SHOULDER AND THEY'RE HAVING A HEARTFELT CONVERSATION AHHHHH

-omg that's it

-"emphasis on the old" ROMAN YOU'RE HERE SHDVDHBDJDHDH

-"Janus' patreon" omg Janus dghdjdhdhdh how did u do this

-"Janus' Corridor of Storred Rewards" dudbdnndbdb only Janus would have the title be that extra

-I want the shirt ahhh

-OMG THEM ALL COMING HOME EXCITED IS SO CUTE I LOVE THEM

-OMG VIRGIL WHAT HAPPENED WITH YOUR EYESHADOW IT LOOKS AWESOME

-wait does it change depending on his mood?! Omg that's so cool!!!!!!

-omg Virgil is so happy my heart cant take this!!!!! Is this the first we've seen him extremely happy and that's why his cool eyeshadow is changing?!?!?!

-"join me! No thinking!" OMG HE'S AWARE THAT HES A HIMBO HSVSJSBDHDH

-"its in France" "im listening" our biggest mistake was thinking Virgil wasn't a himbo hdbdjdnjdjdj

-omg virgil is an adhd mood

-oh and we're deep again ok

-"AHH DEMON" OMG VIRGIL ITS JUST A DOG GSBDJDBDJDN

-"DONT TELL ME TO RELAX" FSTFYFCHCCHFU

-omg im

-I cant

-that was so good dhdbdjdnjd

#sanders sides #ts spoilers #sanders sides spoilers #prinxiety #ts virgil #virgil sanders #ts roman #roman sanders #character!thomas #sanders sides reactions

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adorpheus · 3 years

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on fujoshi and fetishization

Lately, more and more, both here on tumblr and on other sites, I keep seeing people spew unfiltered hatred at fujoshi - that is, women who like mlm content such as gay fanfic and fanart featuring men with other men. And I don’t mean like a specific type of fujoshi, like the ones who are genuinely being weird about it, but just like a general hatred for girls (but especially straight identifying girls) who express love for gay romance.

I hate to break this to you all, but women (including straight women!) actually are allowed to like mlm fanfiction and fanart, even enthusiastically so. A woman simply expressing her love of gay fanfic, even if it is in kind of a cringey way or a way that you personally don’t like, is NOT automatically fetishization.

I’ve been on the receiving end of fetishization for my entire life, from a very young age, as many black and brown folx have, so I consider myself pretty well acquainted with how it works. Fetishization isn’t just like, being really into drawings of boys kissing, or whatever the fuck y’all are trying to imply on this god forsaken site.

Fetishization is complicated imo, and can encompass a lot of things, such as (but not limited to):

1 - dehumanization, e.g. viewing a group of people as sexual objects who exist purely for entertainment purposes, rather than acknowledging them as actual people who deserve respect and rights

and

2 - projecting certain assumptions onto said people based on their race/sexuality/whatever is being fetishized. These assumptions are often, but not always, sexual in nature (like the idea that black people in general are more sexual than other races, etc etc etc).

I’m going to use myself as an example to illustrate my point. Please note this isn’t the best or most nuanced example, but it is the most simplistic. A white person finding me attractive and respectfully appreciating my black features as part of what makes me beautiful is not, on its own, fetishization. A white person finding me attractive solely or mostly because I’m a PoC is now in fetishization territory. Similarly, assuming I’m dominant because of my blackness (like saying “step on me mommy” and shit like that) is hella fetishistic.

That being said, theres definitely a difference between how fetishization works in real life with real people, and how it shows up in fandom.

Fetishization manifests in many different ways in fandom, but most commonly on the mlm side of things, I personally see it appear as conservative (or centrist) women who love the idea of two men together, but don’t actually like gay people, and don’t necessarily think LGBT+ people deserve rights (or “special treatment” as its sometimes dog whistled). These women view queer men as sexual objects for entertainment rather than an actual group of people who deserve to be protected from systemic oppression. I’ve noticed that they often don’t even think of the men they “ship” together as actually being gay, and may even express disgust at the idea of a character in an mlm ship being headcanon’d gay. In case its not obvious, this is pretty much exactly the same way a lot of cishet men fetishize lesbians (they see “lesbian” as a porn category, rather than like, what actual LGBT people think of when we read the word lesbian). There’s a pretty popular viral tweet thread going around where someone explains seeing this trend of conservative women who like mlm stuff, and I have also personally witnessed this phenomenon myself in more than one fandom.

The funny thing is, maybe its just me buuuut.... The place I see this particular kind of fetishization happen most is not in the anime/BL fandom, from which the term fujoshi originates - I actually see these type of women way way more in western fandom spaces like Supernatural, Harry Potter, and Hannibal. I can’t stress this enough, there’s a shocking amount of people who are like, straight up trump supporters in these fandoms. If you want to experience it, try joining a Hannigram or Destiel group on facebook and you will probably encounter one eventually especially if you happen to be living through a major historical event. Like these women probably wouldn’t even be considered “fujoshi”, because that term doesn’t really apply to them given they aren’t in the BL/anime fandom, yet they’re the ones I personally see actually doing the most harm.

Of course this isn’t the ONLY kind of fetishizing woman in the mlm/BL world, there are other ways fetishization shows up, but this is the most toxic kind that I see.

A girl just being really into BL or whatever may be “cringe” to you, or she may be expressing her love for BL in a “cringey” way, but a straight woman really enjoying BL is not, on its own, somehow inherently fetishization. Yes, sometimes teenage girls act kind of cringe about how much they like BL and that might be annoying to you, but its not necessarily ~problematic~.

That being said, IT NEEDS BE REMARKED that a lot of the “fujoshi” that you all hate so deeply, are actually closeted trans men or nonbinary people who haven’t yet come to terms with their gender identity, or are otherwise just NOT cishet. I know because I was one of these closeted people for years, and I honestly think tumblr and the cultural obsession around purity is one of the many reasons I was closeted so deeply for so long. STORYTIME LOL!!! In my early adolescence, I was a sort of proto “fujoshi”. I identified as a bi girl who was mostly attracted to men, or as most (biphobic) people called it, “practically straight”. I wrote and read “slash” fanfic and looked at as well as drew my own fanart. We didn’t use the term fujoshi back then, but that’s definitely how I could have been described. I was obsessed with yaoi, BL, whatever you want to call it, to a cringe-inducing degree. I really struggled to relate to most het romances, so when I first discovered yaoi fanfics (as we called them at the time), I fell in love and felt like I finally found the type of romance content that was made for me. I didn’t know exactly why, I just knew it hit different. LGBT+ fanart and fanfiction brought me an immense amount of joy, and I didn’t really think too hard about why.

At some point, in my early 20s, after reading lots of discourse™ here on tumblr and other places like twitter, I started to get the sinking feeling that my passion for gay fanfiction was ~problematic~. I had always felt a sense of guilt for being into mlm content, because literally anyone who found out I liked BL (especially the men I dated) shamed me for liking it all the fucking time (which btw is literally just homophobic, like can we talk about that?). In addition to THAT bullshit, now I’m seeing posts telling me that girls who like BL are cringey gross fetishists who inspire rage and should go die?

Let me tell you, I internalized the fuck out of messages like this. I desperately wanted to avoid being ~problematic~. At the time, I thought being problematic was like the worst thing you could be. I was terrified of being “cancelled”, before canceling was even really a thing. I thought to myself, “oh my god, I’m gross for liking this stuff? I should stop.” I beat myself up over this. I wanted so badly to be accepted, and to be deemed a Good Person by the internet and society at large.

I tried to shape up and become a good ally (lmfao). I stopped writing fanfic and deleted all the ones I was working on at the time. I made a concerted effort to assimilate into cishet culture, including trying to indulge myself more deeply in the few fandoms I could find that had het content I did enjoy (Buffy, True Blood, Pretty Little Liars, etc). I would occasionally look at BL/fanfic/etc in private, but then I would repress my interest in it and not look for a while. Instead I would look at women in straight relationships, and create extremely heterosexual Couple Goals pinterest boards, and try to figure out how I could become more like these women, so I, too, could be loved someday.

This cycle of repression lasted like eight years. Throughout it all, I was performing womanhood to the best of my ability and trying to become a woman that was worthy of being in a relationship. I went in and out of several “straight” relationships, wondering why they didn’t make me feel the way reading fanfic did. Most of all, I couldn’t figure out why straight intimacy didn’t work for me. I just didn’t enjoy it. I always preferred looking at or making gay fanfiction/fanart over actual intimacy with men in real life.

Eventually, I stumbled upon a trans coming out video that someone I was following posted online, my egg started to crack, and to make an extremely long story short, after like 3 years of introspection and many gender panic attacks that I still experience to this day, I realized that I’m uh... MAYBE... NOT CIS..!? :|

I truly believe if I had just been ALLOWED TO LIKE GAY STUFF WITHOUT BEING SHAMED FOR IT, I probably would have realized I was trans way way sooner. Because for me, indulging in my love of gay romance and writing gay fanfic wasn’t me being a weirdo fetishist, it was actually me exploring my own gender identity. It is what helped me come to terms with being a nonbinary trans boy.

Not everyone realizes they are trans at age 2 or whatever the fuck. Sometimes you have to go through a cringey fujoshi phase and multiple existential crises to realize how fucking gay you are AND THATS FINE.

And one more thing - can we just be real here?

A lot of anti-fujoshi sentiment is literally just misogyny. omg please realize this. Its “women aren’t allowed to enjoy things” but, like... with gay fanfics. Some of the anti-fujoshi posts I see come across my dash are clearly ppl projecting a caricature they invented in their head of a demonic fujoshi fetishist onto any woman who expresses what they consider to be a little too much enthusiasm for gay content and then using their perception of that individual as an excuse to justify their disdain for any women, especially straight women, ‘invading’ their ~oh so exclusive~ queer fandom spaces.

god get over yrselfs this is gatekeeping by another name

idk why i spent so long writing this no one is even going to read it, does anyone even still use this site

*EDIT: HOLY SHIT WHEN DOING RESEARCH FOR THIS POST I FOUND OUT THAT Y-GALLERY IS BACK OMG!!!

#rant #fujoshi #I SAID WHAT I SAID #personal #gender stuff

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felicia-cat-hardy · 3 years

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My 'Pretty Little Liars' Obsession Led Me To My Best Friend

“Got a secret, can you keep it?” Well, I’ve got one: Though Pretty Little Liars ended in 2017, the seven-season mystery thriller schemed its way into being an integral part of my life for the long haul, so much so that the opening credits live in my head rent-free. To this day, each time I hear the sinister theme song — “Secret” by The Pierces — I’m brought right back to my childhood comfort show (ahem, obsession). The visuals begin with a swipe of mascara, the smear of red lipstick, and a clasp of a heel onto a porcelain doll, which makes me feel like I’m watching someone get pampered for prom. Until, of course, it cuts to four girls standing in front of a casket. It's a chilling moment, one that, until Season 6B, ended with Aria Montgomery (Lucy Hale) delivering her iconic “shh.” I got cast under the show’s spell the first time I saw it, and I wasn’t the only one: Pretty Little Liars led me to my best friend.

Ironically, plotlines about deceit and betrayal actually helped ignite a long-lasting friendship. In 2011, the only other person I knew to be watching PLL was my now-BFF, Taylor, who’s been by my side for over a decade. We were only about 11 and 12 when it premiered, so shout out to our parents for letting us watch a show that dealt with very adult themes like substance use disorder, assault, and grief. Unlike our classmates, who watched tween-appropriate hits like iCarly and Victorious, we became PLL stans.

As fans know, the show is loosely based on the Sara Shepard YA series of the same name, and the first book was my entry point into the PLL universe. I loved reading about blackmailers and murderers navigating high school, but I thought I was the only one who was into it. (Was this my ~I’m different~ complex showing, or were my peers just naturally more inclined to recap Dance Moms? I’ll never know.) So, Taylor first struck up a conversation with me at school because she spotted the first PLL book on my desk — you know, the one painted with porcelain wax dolls warning to “never trust a pretty girl with an ugly secret” in a Gothic script. She asked if I’d watched the TV adaptation yet and we immediately exchanged phone numbers to text about upcoming episodes. We then fell into the fandom. Fast.

I’d never talked to Taylor before this interaction — we had only been in a few classes together — but I always saw her as approachable and friendly. Universally, the beginning of middle school is a big and terrifying year when kids from different elementary schools unite. Eager to meet new people, I reached for friendship at any chance I could get. Taylor made it easy. Aside from being a genuinely kind person (a rare trait for a middle schooler!), she was fangirling over the same thing as me.

Fast forward over a decade later, and the show still feels timeless, especially in its accurate depictions of how dramatic high school can get. It’s no surprise there’s a PLL HBO Max reboot on the way along with the remakes of other buzzy shows from that era (hello, 2010s nostalgia). Ah. It was a simpler time. Back then, Freeform was still ABC Family and for me, Tuesdays meant one thing: PLL is on. What first started as a solo viewing experience soon became a designated hangout time, a time slot reserved for me and Taylor to gush over how much we loved Ashley Benson. (We still do!)

The series had a vibe similar to Gossip Girl or Bridgerton in that a mysterious, unidentifiable pot-stirrer keeps fans guessing each episode, but it was arguably so much better since “A,” the anonymous villain, is out for, you know, murder. Ultimately, it was the type of whodunit that made me and Taylor (and millions of viewers) go down a couple of Reddit rabbit holes — remember the “Aria is A” suspicion? — and this is where my and Taylor’s experience with fan theories began.

Oh, and let’s not forget the location. PLL takes place in the fictional suburb of Rosewood, Pennsylvania, and for two girls from Bucks Country — aka the Philadelphia ‘burbs — we ate it up. The beloved “Welcome to the Dollhouse” episode was exceptionally creepy not only because the Liars get locked into a life-size replica of their bedrooms, but also because our real neighborhood looks extremely similar to their hometown. It operates like Rosewood, too, in that small-town gossip travels at lightning speed.

The Pennsylvania-based plotline also made it easier for us to identify with the characters, who felt like extensions of ourselves. In many ways, we got to know each other through their personalities. Taylor is studious and high-achieving, obviously a Spencer. And I owned feather earrings because I saw Lucy Hale sport them in Season 1, so obviously an Aria. Asking “Are you more of a Hanna or an Emily?” held as much weight in 2012 as asking someone their rising sign in 2021. While it might not say much, it also tells you everything you need to know about a person.

PLL got its start right before live-tweeting shows became popularized, so when we weren’t together, I used to text Taylor on my slide-out keyboard phone (only Zillennials will remember) to compare notes without stumbling upon many spoilers. They read something like this: “Caleb and Hanna are soul mates, TBH.” Like every other fan, we theorized about why A had to be Ian… and Melissa… and Jenna… and Mona… and, you get the point. When our elaborate speculations ran cold, we’d pause DVR’d episodes to gather more clues, like glimpses of Red Coat’s face in her second season introduction, or inspections of those eerie-gloved hands assembling dolls and sharpening knives at the end of each episode.

This game of Clue made room for conversations about all the things. We were in high school during the show’s peak, so it felt like the Liars had laid the groundwork for how to operate our school’s halls. Rosewood High was not traditional — uh, multiple students came back from the dead (*cough* Mona and Alison) — but it did prepare us for the stressors of college applications and first romantic relationships. In fact, Benson’s Hanna Marin would be proud of my matchmaking skills because back then, I introduced Taylor to the boyfriend she’s still with today.

As we both grew up with the show, our friendship got even deeper. The Liars weren’t the only ones to share secrets, and I found it incredibly easy to confide in Taylor. She’s trustworthy, level-headed, compassionate, and an excellent listener. She’s someone I know will always pick up on the second ring and is the type of friend to be there with advice, reassurance, and a quick-witted one-liner. She once joked about never needing a diary because we’ve transcribed the past 10 years of our lives via text.

Our bond has remained strong, especially because the most outrageous PLL-esque plotlines of our lives are ones we’ve experienced together. I love Taylor because I don’t have to provide background for my stories. I’m even so familiar with the cast of characters in her life that when someone re-enters after a long period, I like to say they Alison DiLaurentis’ed her.

And on the off-chance she’s not there to witness something meaningful happen to me IRL, she’s always ready to decipher what went down over texts or dinner and drinks — just like we did when we were teens trying to figure out who A was (minus the wine, of course).

The way she can reconstruct my way of thinking and offer up a perspective I hadn’t seen before is almost paranormal. Whether these are Taylor’s naturally given talents or traits learned from peeling back all the layers of the series, I’m not sure. But she’s always there to decode situations with me — whether they relate to a TV show or during moments when I feel lost.

I couldn’t be more thankful that Taylor entered my life and that PLL played a role in our friendship. I feel so incredibly lucky to know someone like her. Plus, now I have someone who is obligated to watch the reboot with me. Ali was right: Friends do share secrets. And she’s ~quite literally~ the reason Taylor’s got all of mine. Spencer and Aria, you’ve got some competition.

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hoodharlow · 4 years

Text

Wildflower: Chapter 1 [PR!Cal]

Prologue found here

AN: First of all this is dedicated to the anon that sent me the whole Twitch stream. ILYSM. Second fatass shout out to @d-oaks for always reading and editing these messes ilysm.

Warnings: brief mentions of drug use towards the end

Word Count: 3.8k

“‘llo?” Calum answered his phone groggily. He had passed out the minute he climbed on to bed with Duke.

“Ash asked you for one fucking thing. Be nice to Alexis, and what do you do? Fucking yell at her in a parking lot.” Luke’s voice boomed on the other side.

Duke climbed on Calum’s chest. With his front paws he nudged him because he needed to go.

“Did she fucking tell you that?” Calum rubbed his face as he led Duke out to his yard to do his business.

“No, it’s all over fucking Twitter. God, Cal we don’t need this. Look, we got a meeting with the label at nine. I’ll leave ya to it.” With that Luke hung up.

Calum opened Twitter and there was a video of him and Alexis Ximena. The audio was just the paparazzo talking about them, but anyone with eyes could see what they were doing wasn’t talking. They were arguing. The video ended with Alexis wiping her tears as she walks back to the building. There was another video of them, but this one is of him draping his jacket over her as he leads them to the car.

"Fuck." Calum said to himself. Most of the tweets are calling him out for being an ass.

He dropped his phone on the couch. He went over to his kitchen and started on his daily coffee when his phone pinged. It was a Tweet from Alexis Ximena.

𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮

A loud knock woke Alexis Ximena. Her morning class was cancelled today. She had hoped she would be able to sleep in today after last night.

“Mande,” she called.

“Get ready, we have a meeting at nine.” Her dad answered from the other side.

She got up after hearing his footsteps fade away, walking to her vanity to check her phone. Her stomach dropped when she saw twitter. Then she was angry. Where the fuck were the paps? She thought to herself. They always have the fortune of getting her and Calum in pretty compromising positions. Shawn was still mad at her for the pictures from a few weeks ago in which Calum was carrying Karma, her dog. She was on her way to Paris when the pictures were released.

Alexis Ximena started typing. “I’m fucking done with the media this morning. I was so excited to share some very exciting things, but TMZ beat me to it. A lot of y’all know I’m a huge fan of @5sos. I had the mf opportunity to be working with them on a project that’s V special to me 1/2

Y’all are so quick to start shit. That video only showed a snippet of what happened between @Calum5SOS and I. We’ve been in the studio all day working. If y’all were us, you'd be annoyed too lmao. Have a nice morning and stop hating on him 💛💛 2/2”

She turned off her phone and got ready. For some reason California decided to be 78℉ in the middle of January, so she changed into a baggy polo long sleeve and a skirt, pulling her hair into a low bun. After she finished her makeup and grabbed her converse, she picked up her backpack from the floor.

When she got downstairs, her dad was in the living room answering some emails. She quickly filled her water bottle and grabbed a few snacks before following him to the garage. She watched her dad press a button on the mini fridge, and then a platform lifted. It had all the keys to the cars in here. No wonder she couldn’t find shit yesterday. Alexis Ximena has been living here for almost two years, but she still keeps learning about new features in the house.

The drive to the meeting was pretty short. She checked her phone and rolled her eyes. They were 45 minutes early. She reached inside her backpack for her journal. Panic ran through her veins after she realized it wasn’t in there. That journal was the last gift her mom gave her before she passed away, and Alexis Ximena used it specifically for her song writing. She pulled her phone out and called the studio. After a brief call, maintenance didn’t find anything other than a few used condoms from a different section where she was.

“Do you know what the meeting is about?” Alexis Ximena asked dad after finishing the call. She sat down again next to him. Her knee bounced as she wondered where she could’ve left it.

“Damage control for the video TMZ leaked.” He replied.

“I tweeted about it when I was getting ready. We should be good no? I haven’t read anything bad since I sent that out.”

“I’m sorry for what they’re going to ask you to do, mi’ja.” He said solemnly.

She rolled her eyes at his melodramaticism. What’s the worst that can happen?

She sat back and checked her phone. She was replying to Shawn’s message about meeting up at his place for dinner when they were called in.

𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮

They had to be joking, they just had to be. They all saw that video of them about to rip each other’s throats out, so the most reasonable thing that occurred to her team and the label was to suggest they try to convince the general public that they have been dating for a while. Lucky for them, they have enough footage of them that can work in their favor.

Calum glanced over to Alexis Ximena. She looked like she had her mind elsewhere. Her eyes met his, and she looked down at the contract.

She mumbled something to her dad. Her dad whispered back in Spanish. Whatever he said it pissed her off. Her anger was spewing out of her. From the way she was clicking her pen to her furrowed eyebrows.

“No, this is bullshit.” Calum was the first to respond.

“I agree. I don’t want to be pictured with him.” Alexis Ximena looked over him in disgust.

“Why? Your boyfriend gonna get jealous?” He taunted.

Alexis Ximena’s face paled and then she glared at him.

“What boyfriend?” Her dad asked her in a low voice. She quickly responded to him in Spanish.

“Calum,” Michael warned him.

“What? She needs the publicity.” Calum turned to Michael then he turned to Alexis Ximena. “I wouldn’t be surprised if you’re the one that called the paps.”

��I need the publicity? I’m not who’s been teasing an album and tour dates.” Alexis Ximena snapped at him.

Calum’s brows furrowed as he angrily glared at Alexis Ximena.

“You know what? Why don't we all take ten and reconvene?" the PR lady smiled at Alexis Ximena and Calum.

Alexis Ximena pushed out of her chair and walked out of the office. Her dad followed behind her.

Calum took the chance to use the restroom. After doing his business, he walked out of the bathroom. Behind the corner, he overheard Alexis Ximena and her dad argue. He stayed hidden because if he walked over, she would probably chew his head off.

"You're a fucking liar. You promised me that you weren't getting involved in my shit." He heard her say. Her voice cracked in the end, like last night.

"Mi'ja-"

"Don't fucking mi'ja me, Alejandro. I'm working my ass off on that soundtrack only for it to get used as a pawn all because some fucking security guard had the fucking nerve to call the paps that the guys were there.”

"If it makes you feel better, I got them transferred to a different place." Her dad spoke up.

"Of course you did.” She scoffed. “Might as well have gotten them fired, no? That really would have shown them.”

“Ximena—”

“Do you know how hard it is for me? I have to work my ass off and prove myself so that everyone realizes that I earn my shit. Then you or Amy swoop in, and it all looks like y’all were behind it." She sighed.

"I know I fucked up as a dad, but I'm trying to fix it. All I'm asking of you is to sign. It's a shit deal, but you need to do it. If I had it my way, this wouldn't be happening." He said.

Calum heard footsteps.

"You can come out now. I can see you through the reflection of the vase." Alexis Ximena told Calum.

He awkwardly walked over from behind the wall."Sorry, I overheard. I won't-"

"Are you going to sign it?" She asked, cutting him off.

"I kinda have to. We have an album and tour coming up." He repeated her words to her.

"Right."

"At least they're letting us go about this more organically. They're not forcing us to go to restaurants and dry hump each other like… you know."

She glared at him. “Let’s get this over with.”

𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮

“How the fuck are you even alive? Didn’t you say your dad would have killed you if he found out about him.” Angie asked Alexis Ximena as she lifted her burger.

“I’m pretty sure he’s going to when I get home. He wasn’t about to do it in front of fifteen people, too many witnesses.” Alexis Ximena shrugged. She plucked a fry from the basket.

After class, Alexis Ximena called Angie, asking to meet her at Umami Burger. Angie and Alexis Ximena instantly became best friends when they got casted in ‘The F It List’. They both faced a lot of criticism because their characters were white. Most of the hate was aimed at Angie because she was black and the main character. People were really mad about that. Alexis Ximena was quick to defend her and call out everyone that made racist comments to her.

“When are you going to tell him about your situation with Calum?” Angie asked.

“Later today. He flew down this morning because they made him come for the Grammys. I’m going over after I get Calum a present.” Alexis Ximena explained. She set her sandwich on her plate and reached over for a napkin. “What?”

“You’re getting this dude a present? What is it, a thank you gift? ‘Thank you for yelling at me in a parking lot. Here’s a present.’ You can’t be serious, Alex.” Angie rubbed her temples trying to process. It took everything in her not to call Alexis Ximena out for being a clown that let’s everyone walk all over her.

“His birthday is on Saturday. After they’re done with their thing, which I have to go to, Luke is playing a little after party thingy in the hotel room. Since I’m his girlfriend ,I have to be there.” Alexis Ximena rolled her eyes and went back to eating.

After lunch she took an Uber to Diesel. She loved Diesel and most of their clothes had Calum’s current aesthetic. She didn't have much trouble finding him a present. She bought him a black knitted sweater with ‘DIESEL’ across the torso.

After she was done, Alexis Ximena hopped on another Uber to Shawn’s condo. She was supposed to go over tonight, but Calum texted her that he had an extra ticket for Coldplay, and she better be ready at 8. She slipped on her sunglasses and covered her head with a hat she bought along with Calum's sweater.

"Hey," she greeted Shawn when he let her in.

"I thought you were coming over for dinner," he said confused.

"I was, but something happened. Uh, can we talk?" she asked.

"Yeah, let's go to the couch."

He took her hand in his and guided them to the two person sofa. Alexis Ximena's cheeks flushed remembering some of the things they've done on that sofa, specifically her being on her knees in between his thighs. He sat down and pulled her to his chest.

Alexis Ximena rested her head on his shoulder. She missed this. It's been over a month since they saw each other. The last time was Christmas, but Alexis Ximena had to fly to Melbourne right after for a photoshoot for Vogue Australia.

"I saw that video of you and Calum. I can't believe he would do that to you." Shawn was the first to speak.

"It was a cleverly recorded video by the paps. All a complete misunderstanding, but his team and mine aremakingusdoapr." She quickly mumbled at the end and hid her face.

"What? I didn't hear you correctly."

Alexis Ximena sighed, "For damage control or whatever it's called. They're making us you know, date."

"You're kidding me right?" Alexis Ximena shook her head at him. "Did you sign?"

"I had to. They basically used my soundtrack as blackmail. You know how much it means to me." She said, sadly. She played with the hem of her skirt.

"Yeah, but another movie would have come by. We know you get parts thanks to your dad." He said nonchalantly. "Shit, that came out wrong. I'm sorry"

"It's okay, I know you didn't mean it." She dismissed him.

"When's your first outing?"

"Later today. We're going to go see Coldplay, but I rather stay here with you. Can we stay like this for a bit? I miss being in your arms."

"Yeah, Lexi." He said, pulling her closer to him.

She cringed at the nickname. She's never liked it because it sounds a bit white to her. She's never

told him that because she knew it would hurt his feelings, so she lets him call her that.

A few hours passed and Alexis Ximena was on her way back home. Shawn and her spent them hanging out. A few kisses here and there but nothing too intense. In their year old relationship, they never fully had sex. There was something that always held Alexis Ximena back. She just couldn't bare her soul like that. She loves Shawn with her whole heart, but she's never felt comfortable enough to give herself to him or anyone. Luckily, Shawn is patient and never forces her to do something she's not ready for.

Alexis Ximena thanked the Uber driver and pushed the door code so she could go into her house. She was half way up the stairs when her dad popped his head out from his home office.

“On’tabas?” He asked. Alexis Ximena almost missed the step when she turned around.

“Before you start, I have to get ready because I’m going out with Calum tonight.” She said.

Her sister squealed from wherever from the top of the stairs. “You’re going out with Calum! I frickin knew it. Ever since I saw you two flirting backstage in the Late Late Show, I was shipping. No wonder Karma loves him. I’m starting to think that he wasn’t there for Luke; he was there for you huh?” Paola gushed in excitement. Alexis Ximena looked at her dad, but he raised his hands in defeat and retreated back to his office. She plastered a fake smile and turned to her sister.

“Promise me you’re not going to say anything. It was supposed to be on the DL, but things kinda started to get out of hand. We’ve only been talking for a few months. Since we’re both not busy right now, we’re gonna see where it goes.” Alexis Ximena said. She was delivering the role of a lifetime.

“I’m so happy you’re happy again. After the whole mess with Shawn, I was worried you weren’t going to, you know, find love again. I’m glad it’s with Calum. He’s a really sweet guy.” Paola smiled sincerely.

Alexis Ximena vividly remembered that her sister was ready to fight Shawn when the pictures of him and Camila were released back in July. After their talk back then, Alexis Ximena promised him that she wasn’t going to tell anyone that they were still together. She couldn’t ruin his career on something like that. On top of how he was already ruining his career by being associated with a known racist. They can’t have him as a cheater.

“Let me pick your clothes. We can’t have you looking like a mess on your first date with Calum.” Paola clapped her hands. She grabbed Alexis Ximena’s hand and pulled her to her room.

“I’m capable of picking my own clothes. I was on that Instlye’s Top Ten Best Dressed of 2019.” Alexis Ximena tried to tell her, but she was in her own world rummaging through Alexis Ximena’s closet, secretly picking some clothes to borrow as well.

“Yeah, you were number 3.” Paola said, glancing at her.

“Okay you try beating Zendaya and Tracee Ellis Ross.” Alexis Ximena retorted.

“You’re right,” She went back to sorting through the clothes. “Oh my god! Yes! This is perfect.”

𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮

Calum scrolled through Alexis Ximena’s profile. He followed her a few months ago, occasionally liking a post here and there. He was three years deep when he saw a post from her 18th birthday. It was a video of her forearm getting wiped clean showing a wildflower bouquet.

Then it hit him. He reached for his phone. He continued scrolling through her profile, waiting for Luke to answer him. She even posted an IGTV about her getting her tattoos covered for filming.

“Why are you calling me? Aren’t you supposed to be getting ready for your big date?” Luke laughed.

Calum rolled his eyes. “What if we change ‘Sunflower’ to ‘Wildflower’?” He asked, ignoring Luke’s joke.

“You’re still on that? I thought you said you were okay with Sunflower. Why?”

“I mean other than the fact that Harry literally has a song in his new album called that, Alexis Ximena has a wildflower tattoo—”

“But that—”

“Let me fucking finish.” Calum grumbled, “So I was thinking since we’re dating, I could have a song that’s quote on quote about her. What do you think?”

“I mean, yeah. Ask the rest and see if we have time to change up the song. When are we dropping the trailer?”

“Early February along with No Shame, I think. We have Friday reserved in the studio. Maybe we could redo the song. Oh shit, we’d have to record Kill My Vibe as well, huh”

“Oh, I forgot about that song, fuck. Okay, I’ll text Ashton and Michael. We’ll talk about it and fill you in. Let me nap and go get ready for your date.” Luke hung up.

Calum rolled his eyes. They’re going to a concert, not to some gala or award show. The only thing he had to do was brush his teeth and slip his coat that his sister sent him as an early birthday present.

He walked over to the fridge so he could reheat leftovers from the other day. While he waited for his food to heat up, he fed Duke and let him wander around the yard until he pooped. Calum decided to stir the pot a bit while he ate his pad Thai.

He went into one of Alexis Ximena’s fan accounts and liked their current post. It was a video posted on her stories a few hours ago. She was pushing her hair over her shoulders and looking over her shoulder to the camera, her go-to pose, while her sister hyped her up. He locked his phone and waited for a few minutes and unliked it. Within those minutes, a screenshot of the like was getting spread through his fans’ accounts and hers.

Around 7:50, Calum changed out of his sweats into some jeans. After making sure Duke was good for the rest of the evening, he grabbed his keys, wallet, and journal from the counter. He’s assuming that the journal is Alexis Ximena’s. It’s black leather bound with “AX” etched in gold. It exudes a rich girl that doesn’t know how to spend money, he had thought to himself when he found it.

When he drove out his house, he spotted Alexis Ximena outside her’s. You had to be blind to not see how beautiful she is, how she carries herself with grace and humility. It’s a shame that it’s all a facade, deep down she’s just another LA girl.

𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮

“Hi,” Alexis Ximena said when she climbed in his car. “Oh, here’s your jacket. If I knew we were going to meet up earlier. I would’ve given it to you then.”

“Keep it for now. When we break up, I can get it back.” He said, not even glancing to look at her. Alexis Ximena simply nodded.

She scrolled through Instagram. Ever since Shawn’s 21st party when someone leaked a video of her and Shawn standing close to each other and talking, Shawmila accounts have dedicated their time to tagging in her posts of their faves. They could be doing more productive things like streaming their fave’s album or buying tickets for Camila’s tour instead of tagging her in posts because neither her album and tour isn’t doing so good.

“Is this yours?” Calum asked her, holding up her journal. They were in Calum’s car. They still had a few minutes before the venue people could go in.

Her eyes widened in surprise.

“Oh my god, thank you so so so so much. I was worried I lost it. It’s the last birthday present my mom gave me before she—”

Overdosed, shoving fentanyl down her throat only for Alexis Ximena to find her dead in a pool of vomit when she came back from an audition to Julliard.

She cleared her throat, “When she, um, passed away.”

Calum instantly regretted what he thought about her spending her money on unnecessary things. He watched her trace the A.

“I’m sorry for your loss. You don’t have to answer, but when did she pass away?” He asked solemnly.

“Um, a little over two years ago. It’s actually the reason why I moved down to LA with my dad. They split up when I was little, and I stayed in Oakland with her.” She explained.

She looked over to Calum. He was processing everything she told him. Before he could ask her another question, she looked at her phone.

“We should get going.” She unbuckled the seat belt.

“Right.” He nodded along. He noticed how she quickly changed the subject, making it obvious that she was still not comfortable talking about her mother’s death.

“Are you a pancakes or waffles guy?” She asked him. She was a few steps ahead of him.

“A what?” Calum gave her a confused look.

“You know how in Cloak and Dagger when Tandy and Tyrone go to that club. Tandy and Tyrone pretend to be a couple to get through.” She turned to him, pushing her hair behind her. “From the look on your face you don’t even know about Cloak and Dagger.”

“No.”

“Cloak and Dagger is a show. It’s so good. I’m really disappointed they cancelled it. Anyways, the pancakes and waffles reference is for hand holding. Like do you clasp your hand around, pancakes, or do you intertwine your fingers, waffles. I’m a waffles girl, which sucks because Shawn is a pancakes guys and—”

“Waffles.” Calum cut her off. The last thing he wanted to hear was her talk about Shawn.

“Okay,” She reached for Calum’s hand and intertwined his fingers with hers. “Waffles is it.”

#pr!cal #Wildflower #calum hood #calum hood series #calum hood imagine #calum hood fanfic #calum hood fanfiction #cloak and dagger #5sos #5 seconds of summer

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jyndor · 4 years

Text

paul krugman and the art of doubling down on shitty takes

so on september 11th, famed nyt editorial writer, keynesian economist and fave of your racist liberal uncle, paul krugman, wrote one of the shittiest takes I have ever seen on twitter, which is SAYING SOMETHING.

krugman famously tweeted this:

and got a million virtual shoes thrown at him for being so ignorant, because anti-muslim hate crimes did actually escalate after 9/11, and the bush administration eagerly fanned the flames of islamophobia in order to make their illegal wars in afghanistan and iraq popular with the public. muslims, sikhs, indians, literally anyone vaguely brown, and lots of black ppl too, were terrorized by their neighbors, (former) friends, classmates, coworkers, etc. and anyone with a muslim friend knows this happened because they've told us about it. and these attacks were reported on. they were, I remember reading about them when I was a kid.

(paul krugman works for the new york fucking times, and while I think the nyt is warmongering centrist garbage, they do actually report on things that happen in the world. he writes editorials for them, surely he reads the damn paper once in a while).

so today, I log on to twitter and see he has decided not to apologize, but rather do the ol' double down, which always works out well.

here are some highlights:

okay so first thing's first, no apology (obviously) since this is a double down. but we got a chart, and liberals do love a good chart when they are being racist and ahistorical.

he admits that the chart is actually inaccurate because it excludes all the other victims of anti-muslim hate crimes who weren't actually muslim (read: the innocents). okay. so already he is losing credibility because he is using an inaccurate chart as the basis of his double down, and really, we love to see it.

after this there's some shit about how he didn't say there wasn't an outbreak of white americans attacking muslims and people mistaken for muslims, but rather that it could have been worse. lol well anything can be worse than it was, as 2020 has taught us. it’s a pedantic mess and I didn’t feel like that was the meat of the double down.

so first off, the iraq war was definitely started for many reasons, but islamophobia was part of it. the bush administration wanted to invade iraq and depose saddam hussein, and steal iraq’s oil for multinational oil companies lbr, and so they exploited americans’ fears about muslims by propagandizing about how it was important for us to attack them over there before they attacked us over here with their weapons of mass destruction, and of course they would attack us over here if given the chance. why? because they hate our way of life here, our freedom. those things were LITERALLY said by bush people and also by their stans at fox news and the wsj, and yes, in the editorial pages at the nyt.

so to someone like paul krugman, who knows lots of conservatives who don’t seem racist, or are educated and distinguished and just... like war? idk but to him, he sees people like them and says, well... they’re not like uneducated filthy poors in west virginia, not that kind of racist.

but what he doesn’t get, or he is being deliberately obtuse about, is that in order for the bush people to dehumanize muslims the way they did, they had to personally place less value on the lives of iraqis than on the value of that sweet crude oil. they were willing to go to war, sacrifice hundreds of thousands of civilians in the process (as well as thousands of american soldiers, but this isn’t about them) because they didn’t see them as anything but collateral damage. and that is fucking racist.

and while I have no interest in playing the “which racist is worse” game, when the west virginia uneducated racist endangers those around them, the politician rich harvard educated racist writes policy and lies us into illegal wars that endanger millions. both are bad, both are racist.

and by the way, him “sticking his neck out” to speak up against going to iraq was brave and necessary, especially because the nyt was pushing the invasion. but when you put it like that... you just sound like a tool. like it was a burden to call out the liars and imperialists. bitch, you’re paul krugman, a nobel laureate and renowned economist. I do not want to discount the IMMENSE pressure and blacklisting that opponents of the bush administration experienced, because showing any opposition to the wars at the time was risky. but idk the way he put that just irked me, especially since he didn’t even lose his job like many in the media did when they spoke up.

usually what liberals do when they fuck up publically is a fake ass apology and a few hail marys, and I assumed he would be on twitter begging for forgiveness on this one since his garbage take went so viral and pissed off so many people. and of course was wrong.

but then he does this:

yeah. your eyes are not deceiving you. that chart is measuring anti-black, anti-lgbtq and anti-”islamic” (lmao who says that bro just say anti-muslim or islamophobic) hate crimes. shut up leftist twitter, black people have it worse than muslims according to my inaccurate chart. so stop attacking me, a rich white man who doesn’t really care about anything other than my reputation.

there is a lot to unpack here, namely that paul krugman is using faux concern for black people as a way to deflect from his shitty ahistorical take about how much restraint white americans showed after 9/11 towards muslims. maybe krugman doesn’t know any black muslims, but they exist. also oppression olympics is stupid even when used by well meaning essentialists, let alone by milquetoast academics.

not to mention that he has already discounted his own shitty chart by saying it doesn’t show the full picture of what happened in these anti-muslim attacks. but even if we take this chart seriously, it actually does not really support his point. look at how many more hate crimes there were against muslims in 2001 than there were in 2000. there are significantly more black people than muslims in the united states. I am not good at math, and surely I am no nobel laureate, but it seems to me that hate crimes against black people increased a little, and hate crimes against muslims increased a lot. and this chart only takes into account three years, and only two of which are post-9/11. so... idk man maybe we should look at what happened in, say, 2003? 2004? how about all of the 2000s?

(source: https://www.pri.org/stories/2016-09-12/data-hate-crimes-against-muslims-increased-after-911)

oh, that is actually pretty consistently bad! yes, there was one spike in 2001/2002, but it isn’t like we went back down to pre-9/11 numbers afterwards. and I am not sure if this information includes non-muslims targeted for “looking muslim” but I would say it is unlikely, since the data seem pretty similar to krugman’s olympic shit.

I am not writing this because paul krugman is particularly shit-for-brains, or because I hate him more than like... idk any other moron on twitter. there were plenty of anti-muslim takes on twitter friday like there are every 9/11, and every day. but krugman is actually someone liberals respect. he is, after all, a nobel laureate and a keynesian economist, and fairly mild mannered. when people in the media like krugman write these ahistorical shitty takes they are, as chomsky wrote, MANUFACTURING CONSENT. it is a deliberate tactic, and it works. and if you want to learn more about this theory, check out this short clip by al jazeera narrated by amy goodman (of democracy now). the media manufactured american consent when they pushed the wars. they continue to do so when they try to rewrite george bush’s history by making trump seem uniquely terrible to muslims.

elites in the press and in government have been trying to whitewash and rehabilitate george bush’s reputation for YEARS, and they are succeeding. and why would they want to do that? well, there are a lot of reasons. one, a lot of people in washington are complicit in bush’s crimes. two, democrats think they need to appeal to moderate republicans (lol) in order to win elections, and I guess they think there are moderate republicans left (lol!), and that those moderate republicans like george bush (LOLLL). three, they want to make trump look uniquely terrible. if they do that, then no one but trump needs to be held to account for his government’s failings. but these are just my speculation.

do not let them rehabilitate george bush any further than they have. it is a fucking shame he will never be held to account for war crimes, but an extra slap in the face to all of his victims when we act like he didn’t do things he did. like stoke anti-muslim hate. he invaded muslim countries with a smile on his face, and that is pretty fucking hateful.

paul krugman doubled down and tried to use Black Lives Matter like a human fucking shield. seems a bit racist imo.

#paul krugman #islamophobia #racism #war #imperialism #anti-blackness #fuck this guy i stg

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migleefulmoments · 4 years

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awesome-fanfictionada * tumblr * com / post / 615676095589728256 so anon ask how it's possible that no one's ever let the cat out of the bag this entire time (not to mention no one's ever captured a surreptitious pic of C/D together) and the answer is a rambling response filled with fake rumors and inane talk about smiling at each other. basically, there is no answer for how darren's "incompetent" team has kept a lid on this secret for nearly a decade. cuz they haven't. cuz it's all bullshit.

The first thing to keep in mind is that awesome is a newbie- she popped up in January 2020. Everything she knows is from "researching” the ccers favorite gifs and answers Abby and co gave to their nonnies in the last few years. She was trolling through the cc masterposts but most of them are long gone so she basically learned through their favorite gif playlist-if you put all the gifs together and took away the slow-mo feature it was probably a total of 4 minutes or less of Chris and Darren’s lives and all of it was from the Glee set or during promo for the show.

I wrote my comments after her post:

Anonymous asked:

So, we're 8-9 years? into this whole situation. I want to know how no one has ever let something slip about the truth. There's a lot of pieces in motion...PR houses, SM, appearances with beards, them being together (physically in the same place, like living together) without public knowledge. There's also a lot of people that would have knowledge of the situation. And some of them are not that bright or discreet. It's an incredible amount of time to maintain all of this.

Dear Anon, I’m not sure about the tone of your ask and if you want me to convert you or reassure you? However, I’ll just comment on the things you say. It’s not correct that no one has ever let anything slip about them, there have been in the past people who (2) tweeted about them as a couple just to dleete the tweet shortly after. Not always, some tweets are there still. (3)There have been IG posts and radio interviews with the voice of one of them in the background when there was supposed to be no official interaction. There have been other let’s call them (4)“clues” - even if they weren’t meant to be such. (5) It’s been many years, yes, and with the years comes the ease and the routine, everybody is aware of the situation, teams know what they have to do to keep it going (though sometimes they also slip up, some more than others). With the years the startling suspicion that they might be indeed a couple subsides and nobody cares about it anymore (but us), no one goes out to investigate because why should they? (6)Who cares about D marrying to hide the fact that he’s gay? He’s not the first nor the last to do it. (7) And he’s not that famous that people will want to know at all costs or have tabloids to pay for the scoop. (8) No, it is still his team that needs to pay to get articles out (talking about M mostly). And based on the comments they get on such articles, D’s secret seems to be an open one. Why would anyone tell about them? In HW everyone knows everything about everybody but they seldom tell cause they are all in it together - so who should tell and whom to? (9) Besides - there are plenty of couples in HW and around HW who are pretty secretive about their relationships and have been for years without anyone finding out anything they did not want exposed. Some couples are never seen together anywhere but are known to be married because they have at some point or another confirmed their relationship. (11) It is a long time to maintain this but if the parties involved are fine with the outcome (I doubt D and C are now, but for argument’s sake) nothing will get in the way to disturb the situation.

Do you want me to confirm to you that they actually live together? I cannot. That they have been together all the time? I cannot. (12) But look at them interact at the G/lee reunion and tell me honestly that there isn’t anything going on between them - they have been looking at each other that way for almost 10 years now. Have they at any time looked at their official SO in the same way? They make each other smile and laugh, that counts for very much in a relationship.

Yes, I started on 2...ignore there is no 1.

2. She mentions the Tweets that were soon deleted- this is one of my favorite arguments because it’s the most pathetic proof and proves just how easy it is to con a tinhat. Faking a Tweet has been easy for many years and anyone with photoshop skills could do it from day one. Tweets that showed up, then quickly disappeared but luckily ONE person managed to get a screencap? Riiigggghhhhttttttt. We also know that a couple of those famous disappearing Tweets were never real but were written about as part of the “news” post that GleekinthePink mistook for real but was later proven to be fanfiction.

3. The videos where they hear the voice of the other -usually in a laugh- aren’t “proof” of a relationship. First of all, the obvious, we don’t know who it is since they are off-camera and the person on camera never makes a face of surprise like I would expect if the other outed them. It also makes no sense to imagine that Darren married Mia to protect the secrets but they took a risk by having the other in the room during a live or while shooting a video they posted to social media. I can’t imagine taking a chance like that on something as stupid as a promo Livestream or a haircut-maybe to attend a small family event like Chris’s mom’s funeral or his dad’s wedding, but not a haircut.

4. What clues did they give away exactly? The not-actually-matching shirts? The not-at-all matching duvet covers? The song lyrics? None of these “clues” are evidence of a relationship. They are simply evidence of a fandom obsessed with making everything into confirmation bias and Abby’s talent at bringing everything back to Crisscolfer.

5. Now she starts to layout her argument that “everyone knows and they are willing to keep it a secret because who cares”? This argument is so weak I would hope that her community should see right through it, but I’m sure they don’t. I’ve learned through my interactions with Trump supporters and ccers that people who are in a group because they want to win and to be special, people who are bonded together through anger, misogyny, and hate require very little fact-based information. They thrive on short sentences-repeated often- and in anger and having a scapegoat to hurl all their shit at. Having someone to hate is like meth- it’s highly addictive, it rots their brains and it keeps them coming back even after it is killing them. I am sure that any ccer who reads awesome’s post will accept it all at face value. Hollywood isn’t a close community full of people who either love and respect each other enough to protect Darren or are indifferent as long as it doesn’t affect them. The fact is, Hollywood is a small community, yes. If cc were a couple, everyone would know but being a small community and one willing to hide another’s deep dark secrets aren’t the same thing. Nobody has a reason to protect Chris and Darren by lying or actively working to protect their secrets.. People like and respect Darren because he’s genuine, honest, kind, and interesting but ccDarren is none of those things. He’s a liar who is hiding in the closet because he’s can’t give up his fame, he “treats Mia like shit”, he continues to work with the man who put him in the closet using THE Contract. THE Contract alone would be HUGE and go well beyond tabloid fodder. The NYT and WaPo would be all over the story of Ryan Muphy and Fox TV forcing Darren into the closet, forcing a beard and forbidding them to interact for a decade.

The biggest reason her theory is nothing but a naive fantasy is that Hollywood isn’t a static community. Over the last decade, many people came and went and there is no way you will ever convince me that in 10 years, not one person let it slip or was willing to sell them out for their own 15 minutes of fame or blackmailed one of the players get something they wanted. Darren is a vary social man and lots of people consider him their friend. He attends a lot of functions where people see him with Mia. Either ccDarren and ccChris never go out in public- for 10 years they have kept their relationship inside at one of their homes and only a couple of friends know the truth or it’s statistically inconceivable that someone hasn’t slipped or outed them. Glee had a huge cast and crew- add the plus ones and we have a crap ton of people who know, but not one person told a friend who let it slip? Nobody told a friend who works at TMZ or knows someone who does or who is on TMZ payroll? Puh-leaze .

The tabloids would LOVE to get ahold of CrissColfer- not simply because they are gay, but because Darren has presented as straight for over 10 years and he just married a woman! He also said as a straight man he won’t play another gay character. A gay Darren would be tabloid fodder at any level but as Abby loved to point out, he just won every award; he’s one of the Ryan Murphy Players and his career is on fire right now. CDAN has posted multiple blinds about Darren being gay over the years which proves that tabloids would be interested in such a story.

6. In 2020 it would be big news if a celeb married to hide a gay relationship. Especially if that man was famous for playing gay characters and who has been in a relationship with the woman he married for 10+ years. Awesome is dreaming if she imagines nobody would care about such a story. It’s a story about deception and lies but if you add in the shit they believe, THE Contracts and being forced in the closet, a paid beard who abuses Darren and hidden relationship with another man who has presented another man as his long-term boyfriend? Yeah, that would be huge news.

7. I have no clue why she thinks he isn’t famous enough to have a tabloid pay for information. Has she read TMZ in the last 5 years? It’s full of stories about Farah Abrahman and other reality stars and their shenanigans. You don’t have to be a huge blockbuster movie star to get a tabloid interested. You only need a sordid story about love mixed with deception, sex, money murder or abuse of power. The tabloids feed off stories like the tinhats have written CrissColfer.

8. I always love the comments about his team forcing articles out -especially Mia. WTF? His team doesn’t force out articles- they get him publicity when he has a project. Darren hasn’t done all that much press I would call fake, certainly, not many that are written by his team or read as if they just pieced together PR pieces written by his team. Maybe ccers are finding nonsense articles that are clearly written for clicks (they were debating about one last month that was clearly written by someone who Googled Darren and cobbled together his story from what they found online without trying very hard. It wasn’t even written well. It’s super easy to avoid those articles- if they say “sponsored” that’s a good clue. If you have to click through paragraph by paragraph or photo by photo, or you can barely see the article among the flashing ads, you’re probably reading something of poor quality and not worthy of your time. Stick with articles that are more reputable-actual entertainment publications that cover the industry and including interviews or stories written by journalists. BTW, when was Mia in an article last? I mean more than a mention or two? She was quoted in some for TSG’s opening but other than that she isn’t in the pieces.

9. There are plenty of couples who keep their relationships quiet but Darren Criss is NOT one of them. Neither is Chris Colfer... but especially not Darren Criss. He doesn’t talk about his relationship per se but is mentioned in places where one would normally talk about one’s spouse. Mia is always by his side and clearly enmeshed in his life- they share old friends and live and work together. The people awesome is referring t-those who keep their private lives private- aren’t running around with a fake wife or fake husband to protect their actual relationships- they are just keeping everything quiet-think Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes or early Angelina and Brad. Arguing that because some celeb’s keep their private life private, it is rational to believe that Darren and Chris are simply one of those couples is a fallacy-but it’s almost 3 am and I’m too tired to think about which one it is.

11. Now she’s arguing that in over a decade in Hollywood, the people in Darren’s and Chris’s lives have been static and therefore there isn’t anyone to rock the boat and out them. An interesting argument in light of Darren’s resume over the last 9 years- Broadway (4 different shows (2 Hedwigs)), TV (Royalties, Hollywood, Glee, AHS, ACS), music (including a few tours, 2 albums, multiple one-off shows, and several music videos), Elsie Fest, two feature movies and all the award shows, charity events, fundraisers, and other random things that Darren does. He also owns two businesses that we know of- TSG and The Motley. That’s a shitload of people that he’s interacted with just at work in the last decade. Oh and add all the people who worked on the wedding-the vendors and their staffs- it’s unrealistic to believe that not one of them realized something was ccUp. Chris entirely changed careers adding all the people in the publishing world that an author works with. He also has done a couple of shows for TV. I’m not even considering the charities they both work with. Not only is this a LOT of people who are keeping their mouths shut, but it isn’t a static group-Darren filmed Hollywood and Royalties this year and rehearsed Amerian Buffalo bringing in an entirely new set of people to work with. If Chris gets his TLOS movie off the ground that will be hundreds and hundreds of new people with him The fact is, Hollywood isn’t static- it’s the most unstable business I can think of with new people coming to seek their dreams and others giving up or going off to do something else like music or Broadway. There are alwasy new people coming and others going. If Darren and Chris were in fact in a relationship then lots of people near htier homes would know- grocery store workers, restaurant staff, dry cleaners, etc. Yet nobody with this type of evidence has ever even suggested they are a couple. The legit media has never sniffed around trying to find out if Darren is actually gay or with Chris. That says a lot about the validity of the story. Darren would have been hounded by the media when he started playing Blaine but was telling everyone he was staright and showing up at events with Mia.

Hollywood isn’t known for being altruistic and kind. It’s a ruthless industry full of people with huge egos and big power and people who are broke and just want to get hired for a part, they want their dreams to come true. Hollywood is a town of desperation for so many with big dreams and a quick buck selling a story to a tabloid or the 10 minutes of fan that it would bring- hell even someone making a deal with TMZ to cover them for a period of time in exchange for info about Chris and Colfer is wayyy more credible rational than believing Hollywood is static and nobody has a reason to out Darren.

12. Laughter and joy are important in a relationship but smiling at someone during a charity online reunion isn’t proof of anything- it’s just common courtesy to be polite in that scenario. Notice they once again are relying on a photo- a stillshot from a video- 1 single frame is “PROOF they are in love” because Chris is giving heart eyes to Darren.

If your entire argument is they have overwhelming chemistry then you must know that nobody will take you seriously and you should really get listen to an objective opinion by someone who isn’t desperately searching for confirmation bias that they are a couple. Good chemistry doesn’t make a relationship-lots of people have good chemistry and they aren’t in a relationship and lots of people in relationships have poor chemistry. It isn’t proof of anything except that ccers have no evidence.

#CrissColfer #Darren Criss #Crisscolfer lol #Hollywood is static #awesome-fanfictionada

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whitehotharlots · 5 years

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Elizabeth Warren is a weak candidate

It’s hard to believe it’s already been a year.

Last October, prospective presidential candidate Liz Warren stopped by the ur-#Resistance podcast Pod Save America, a program in which several former Obama staffers named John talk about which Gryffindor house Trump administration members belong to, and helpfully explain why Andrew Cuomo is actually way more progressive than Cynthia Nixon. They talked about how Trump had taunted Senator Warren by referring to her as Pocahontas, a cruel play on her claim to Native American heritage. Why, they asked, don’t you try and shut that bully up? Why not take this test from our eugenicist friends at 23 and Me?

“By golly,” said Liz. “That sounds like a real dandy of an idea!”

Now… this is actually stupider than the mainstream narrative suggests. Because even though it turned out Liz had a smaller percentage of Native American DNA than basically every other American white person, simply taking the test reified an offensive precedent of blood quantum, which is more or less universally rejected among actual Native Americans. Even if it turned out she was 50% Cherokee and had little feathers floating in her piss, the entire spectacle still would have made a mockery of the intense, material struggles faced by Native Americans to this day.

Now, normally on this blog, I’d go on for several paragraphs about how I don’t actually care about Warren’s heritage (I don’t), how it’s more important to note that she and the rest of the Democratic establishment only care about Native issues to the extent to which they can exploit them, how her refusal to take a stand against DAPL was not just concerning but disgusting, how she can write as many “Pow Wow” recipes as she pleases but at the end of the day she’ll just be another shitty Democrat who expresses solidarity with oppressed people but does nothing to prevent their water being poisoned or their land befouled. But that’s jumping the gun. We’ll only have to worry about being gravely disappointed by Warren if she manages to beat Trump in general election. And I’m sorry to tell you, but she doesn’t have what it takes to get that done.

Warren is a goon. I’m sorry, but she is. She can’t answer softball questions about her recent political history without coming across like a teen who was just caught shoplifting and has been asked why there’s Playstation-sized bulge beneath his shirt. (“D-did I support gay marriage? Well, umm, jeeze louise who can remember something like that? Uhhh. There might be notes? Maybe? But there isn’t. So, I… I guess, well, who can say, really?”)

Warren isn’t nearly as a self-certain as Hillary was, and that’s a problem. It wouldn't be a problem if she actually were a leftist and actually did plan on proffering material solutions to the material problems facing nearly every American. But she’s not. Policy-wise, she is somewhat better than Hillary or Biden. That’s fine. But that’s not enough. She’s already spent too much time courting the Democratic establishment and their corporate base. She knows, therefore, that when a dying cancer patient asks her if she supports Medicare For All, that she has no choice but to lie to his face, that she’s prioritizing corporate cash over helping suffering people, but she lacks Hillary’s soulless cruelty and so she can’t simply laugh away the man’s concerns as naive bro stuff. This causes her to stutter and panic, which makes her (rightfully) appear disingenuous.

Warren’s plans are likewise a degree or two more progressive than what was being offered by Hillary in 2016. But they’re not straightforward. They are cloaked in the maddening layers of equivocations, loopholes, and means testing that have infected every Democratic proposal since the early 90’s. This is the unavoidable consequence of party seeking to appease two diametrically opposed interests. You can’t satisfy the profligacy of capital while helping everyday people. It cannot be done. And so Democrats rely on Rube Goldberg-style labyrinth policies to obscure this fact, to make it look like they’re trying to help when actually they’re not, they are at best attempting to add a little sugar to the arsenic so that we won’t fight back so much when they pour it down our throats.

Obama could pull this off. We all knew Obama was lying in 2012, but he was appealing enough to make us rationalize away his lies. Same thing with Bill Clinton. If you’re not old enough to remember, check out this debate clip. The man looked like he was going to crawl through your TV and fuck you, and most of us were cool with that. Hillary lacked this appeal. Warren lacks it even moreso. And, yes, I guess this is essentially affective and subjective--just my opinion and whatfor. But any soberheaded person should be troubled by the fact that Warren’s campaign as already absorbed the most viscerally annoying people from the Hillary campaign, and is already aping HRC’s most repulsive and alienating tactics.

These are people like Sady Doyle and Amanda Marcotte: neurotic, celibate scolds who engage with politics primarily as a way to actualize their petty grievances and insecurities. These people are incredibly unappealing to everyone who isn’t immediately inclined to like them, which is about 90% of the American electorate. And this unappealingness has nothing to do with their gender or their physical appearance. It’s because they are liars who are running a manifestly cynical grift, and they don’t have enough charm or intelligence to trick voters into thinking they’re doing something else. They are electoral poison, and their outsize presence with the Democrat establishment is a big reason why the Democrats get their asses beat so consistently even though they are supported unanimously by the American media and cultural classes.

Their grossness was encapsulated very succinctly yesterday, in the misadventures of Ms. Ashlee Preston. Preston is a large black trans woman who works as an official Warren campaign surrogate. She took to twitter to do what these people do: lie about Bernie Sanders and his supporters. They need to lie, because they are working for a candidate who is manifestly more regressive and less electable than him, but they still want to position themselves as the most radical in the field. So she lied. She said that Sanders hadn’t done anything to support gay rights since the 70’s, and that therefore it was actually good that Warren voted for Reagan twice during the AIDS crisis, because that means she grew into her present woke state.

This was all par for the course. Liars lie. Preston is paid to lie. So she lied.

Also par for the course: Bernie supporters asking her what on earth she was talking about, and doing so politely. And then, once again par for the course, the liar claiming to have been viciously harassed by Bernie Bros, which is meant to validate the lies that warranted the response--which actually wasn’t a lie since it was just, like, sarcasm that y’all folx was too hateful to understand.

This process has been going on pretty much non-stop since the middle of 2015. Anyone who pays cursory attention to it knows what’s happening, but the weird rules of political decorum make it so we all have to pretend to take it seriously. But yesterday there was a twist. Preston, apparently, had a bunch of semi-coherent tweets in which she said all kinds of neat stuff about Mexicans and Asians. These got posted. She reacted by saying she was kinda sorry but also still right and that it was harassment to bring up that stuff. And… that was it. Cancel Culture’s denizens applauded her apology (a courtesy often provided to those who are willing to lie about leftists). She is still employed by the Warren campaign. The incident wasn’t discussed in any mainstream news sources. The outrage over her old tweets was actually co-opted to smear those who unearthed them.

The simple observation here was made by hundreds of people online: if this were a Sanders surrogate, they would have been fired immediately, the affair would have been discussed on cable news, and it would have been held up as proof that Sanders should drop out immediately. And when I say hundreds of people posted something along these lines, I might be understating this. The duplicity on display here is manifest to everyone who isn’t on the take. Everyone can see how rotten this is. There’s no question about it. No argument to be had. I’m sorry to say, but this kind of brazen cynicism does not go over well with most voters. It is, in fact, incredibly alienating. The people who claim universal healthcare is inherently racist and attempt to ruin people’s lives for using imprecise language can’t just turn around and demand immediate ablution for their own hateful acts. Or… I guess they can, since that’s what just happened. But they shouldn’t be able to. And the fact that she was able to, so completely and so easily, proves just how much of a shitty fucking grift this whole thing is. You don’t need to be a genius to realize that. You don’t even need to be well-read. You just need to pay a little attention and possess a little bit of self-respect. And that’s why Warren is going to lose.

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bellaelisabeth95 · 5 years

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A reminder of the toxicity that plagues the legacy of Marlene King and Pretty Little Liars

TW: Self harm and suicide

I know that this coming week starts the Pretty Little Liars spinoff “The Perfectionists,” also directed by Marlene King and starring two cast members from the original show. PLL has been over for years now, but that doesn’t mean some of its most…… passionate? fans have forgotten it. I know many of us haven’t. Who could forget the disaster that was the end of Pretty Little Liars, as a small but very loud subgroup of fans decided to viciously attack anyone who stood in the way of their beloved ship? Before I go any further, I want to make it clear that everyone knows it was not all emison fans. If you are a person who shipped emison but did not bully other cast members or fans, then I feel truly sorry that you were in the same group as them. And I thank you for not taking part in what some of them did.

The reason I’m making this post is because of the Lindsey Shaw Fiasco. I know every single PLL fan on social media knows what this is, regardless of who you shipped/didn’t ship. I want to make sure in light of MK’s new show no one forgets what happened to her, and what could happen again. Marlene King watched as one of her own actors, as well as many of the fans of her show, were mercilessly harassed and said NOTHING. In fact, she pandered to the same people doing the harassing. Both Shay Mitchell and Sasha Pieterse, the two parts of the emison ship, said nothing, despite the harassers being their fans. Now, maybe you’ll say all the ships had crazy fans. They did. But none like this one. Because these people went beyond the typical mean comments about looks or weight. These people aimed to cause real, true harm, and in some cases they almost succeeded. And now, after PLL being over for two years, with the chance for this rabid fanbase to lose their flame, another show targeted at the SAME PEOPLE is airing next week. Another chance to bring them together, to attack anyone they see as getting in the way of their ship.

Fans of the ship Paily were targeted. And even more so than us, Paige’s actress, Lindsey Shaw, was targeted the most relentlessly and disgustingly of all. Whether you are a fan of Lindsey’s or not, you cannot justify what happened to her. Not even if you still choose to believe she “supports Trump,” which she made clear she does not. As a fan of hers, I will agree it was dumb of her to joke about that, and I think she forgot that people don’t always get her sense of humor. Not to mention, there were always people who weren’t fans waiting to pounce. But did you ever stop to think about what led to that little breakdown? (I think right around this time 3 years ago). At that point, Lindsey had already been taking abuse for YEARS, although it certainly got worse as emison became a possibility. She would post something unrelated to the show and be flooded with “kill yourself”, “die pigskin,” and “drink bleach.” How long can someone take that kind of harassment without snapping a little? I was always impressed it didn’t happen sooner. It was clear to me, as well as many of her other fans, that she was going through something personal at the time, and all of the abuse on top of it was a little too much. This all came to a head March 2016. No one from the show said anything.

Fast forward to May 2016, when I lost every ounce of respect for every single cast member of PLL. I used to be a huge fan of Shay. That started fading as she failed to even acknowledge her Paily fans as time went on. It was obvious she cared far more about being popular than she did about standing up for her fans or a co-star she claimed to love. And I don’t know, maybe she and Lindsey had some kind of personal falling out. I always wondered if that was the case, because how else could they all be cold enough to ignore someone’s obvious suffering? Even if that is the case, it isn’t an excuse for her never speaking up. On one day in early May, Lindsey retweeted something that got a portion of the emison base in a frenzy, with them claiming she called Sasha ugly (the tweet did no such thing. It was calling Paily a beautiful couple). Anyway, they POUNCED with a level of venom I had never even seen before. It was horrifying. There were lots of death threats, calls for her to hurt herself. But the one that stood out most came from a user who I won’t name because I don’t want her to have the satisfaction. She literally started a petition with Lindsey’s twitter handle in it, telling people to RT to get her to commit suicide. To which Lindsey responded that she had already tried. Anyone outside of that small pocket of emisons was HORRIFIED, frantically tweeting Marlene, Shay, Troian, all the big name people from the show to address this. Even if they didn’t address Lindsey, to just make an overall statement about how this behavior wasn’t okay. Fans from every ship were taking part. I was sure Shay, or at least Marlene, would say something.

None of them did. Not a single one. It was obvious at that point how much Lindsey was suffering. But still no one said a word.

These are all adults. Grown women acting like a group of middle school bystanders, too cowardly to stand up for the bullied. There is no excuse for them never addressing this. Especially since with a new show, it’s likely to just start up where it left off. In glancing through instagram comments, these same fans have already found a new target: Evan Bittencourt. I don’t know who he is or why they hate him, and frankly I don’t care, because I’m sure it’s bogus, just like their reasons for hating Lindsey. The point is, just like I was afraid of the second I heard Marlene was doing another show, they have already found a new target. I have literally seen them refer to him as “The new Lindsey Shaw.” And anyone who watched PLL knows that’s not a good thing. Just some snooping has already revealed some pretty ugly tweets/comments, which I’m sure he is seeing. We saw first hand how over time being bombarded with hatred took its toll on someone who was once very proud and passionate about the character they played.

Mental health is important. Suicide is very serious. I won’t even get into why seeing Lindsey’s tweet that night shattered my heart or why it to this day infuriates me that none of those women said anything. The fact that so many people think it’s a joke, or that it’s okay running around telling people to hurt themselves, will forever remain a mystery.

Marlene shouldn’t be allowed to have another show after what she encouraged during her last one, and especially not one directed at the same group of fans. PLL needs to be dead and buried forever. No spinoffs. The show, and the people working on it, became toxic, and that same toxicity will be revived the moment these characters are brought back to life next week. Real people got hurt last time. Real people almost died. Think of how crazy and serious that is. I shudder to think what social media is going to look like once this gets under way, especially if the fans of the emison ship feel threatened. I know I will not watch even a second of this show. I hope it is short lived and these characters, and the toxicity they bring with them, can finally be put to rest.

So what happens if things get bad again, Marlene? Will you say something? Will you ever try to make this right? We haven’t forgotten what you let happen to us, or happen to Lindsey. We will never forget how badly she was struggling personally, or that she was driven off social media because of your fans that you never EVER addressed. It breaks my heart what you let happen to her, and it breaks my heart that with this new show comes the opportunity for it to happen again. I hope you’ve become a better person since the Lindsey Shaw Fiasco. It’s too late for you to ever make that right, and honestly, I don’t think you have any desire to. But I do hope that you at least have enough remorse, however small it may be, to make sure it never happens again.

Please share this. Here, to twitter, instagram, everywhere. Let’s make sure we stand up this time.

#pll #prettylittleliars #emison #paily #emily fields #paige mccullers #sasha pieterse #lindsey shaw #shay mitchell #marlene king #alison dilaurentis #pll the perfectionists #the perfectionists #pretty little liars #pretty little liars the perfectionists

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imcynfinite · 4 years

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her name is cyn.

This kid. Head always in the clouds. You couldn't keep her grounded. Only liked reality when it stimulated her imagination. Read a lot of books because she liked the trip. Did a lot of unhealthy things for attention. Always compared to her sisters and never getting affection just for herself, there had to be another way to get noticed. So she stole. Glasses from her classmate's desks during reading time on the carpet (sorry, Salita), Sour Power candy from lunchboxes after bake sales, mechanical pencils from the supply shop that she'd tuck into her uniform jumper, books from the library after she read them, pretending she returned them just so she could have their worlds to escape to at home whenever she needed to. She lied a lot, too. A pathological liar. That's what her mother called her when she was caught in the act. She was ALWAYS caught in the act, but couldn't stop doing it. Lying felt good. Even as the lie formed words that she knew wouldn't be convincing enough, she could. Not. Stop. It was here that she first learned she could tell stories, but didn't see her power yet. She used them ill. When she couldn’t drift off, she grew resentful. Loved alone time. Sought after it to escape. Sure, she'd play dolls with her little sister, or watch Saturday morning cartoons and Toonami after school with her older sister. She allowed herself to be herself with her siblings, but only until she was compared to them or didn't have control over the situation. She was never good enough. She couldn't be the pageant queen with stardom in her future like her little sister, and couldn't be the first born who did everything right like her older sister. She didn't understand the pressures they faced holding such titles, but at that age, how could she? At that age, it stung. What could she do right? What title could she hold? She loved her sisters, but couldn't be them. So deep down, she grew resentful. Acted really mean towards them, in ways she couldn't help. Much much later on, she'd spend a day trying to understand why she grew cold with them so many times during her teens and young adulthood, and the resentment will click. It'll all make sense to her, the healing to not blame her sisters for their parents' comparisons will begin, and a newfound friendship and appreciation will bloom. But here? How could she have known? She loved food. Don't know when it started, but once it did, it took off. She ate a lot, because food made her happy. When she was sad and resentful, food was forgiving. Soothing. It didn't judge her in the slightest. She'd ask for more at dinner. Get the extra scoop of ice cream for dessert. Asked the kids during lunch if they were gonna finish that. Sometimes was so hungry, she'd sneak and take a bite or two of her lunch before the bell. She started gaining weight. That cute face growing round, belly poking. But she was fine. A beautiful, chubby kid. The first time she learned something was wrong with her body, though, was seven years old. Frustrated they couldn't find a communion dress that fit, her mother told her it was her fault. "You have to do something about this." A few years later, her father, out of deep frustration and desperate to bring her to shame to incite some motivation, called her an elephant. Her mother tried to take food away from her, but that just made her want it even more. How could something that made her feel good be so bad? The one thing that validated her existence was the enemy? No. Her mother tried, and tried, and tried. But little did she know, it just made the girl cling to it harder. Seek its affection. Crave its nurturing. She had no idea she was growing an addiction. This kid had charm. You see that smile? The softness in her eyes. The brightness in her spirit. She did things her way, because she projected the world as what she saw in her head. People were charmed by it, and she had no idea. Co-workers of her mother took a liking to her every time she came to the parties. One in particular always gifted her with Nancy Drew books, every birthday. Just because. She thought this kid was beautiful and joyous and couldn't help checking in on her or asking her mother how she was. Asking if she finished reading her book, and considering expanding her gifts to include The Hardy Boys. ...People watched this girl. Liked her spunk. Liked the mystery of not knowing what exactly she was, but feeling good being in her presence. This kid had charm, and she had no idea. How could she? If she wasn't being compared to, she was told no one would like her looking like she did, round belly and all. That having bad grades meant you were lazy and stupid, and not that you possibly had issues concentrating. Teachers complained about her staring out of the windows for too long and not doing her homework. Kids bullied her for not being pretty or not liking what they liked. That she kept to herself and was a "trouble maker". No one liked the kids who upset the teachers. Sisters that loved her but couldn't stick up for her. They didn't understand. She didn't have anyone to tell her she was just fine the way she was. Magnificent, even. She grew tired of the loneliness. Her imagination was fun, sure. But reality got realer, and she needed a way to deal. She just had to. So, she transformed. Right into high school, she became a vibrant spirit who cracked jokes to make people laugh. Rebelled against her parents and pretended not getting good grades and being fat was something she wasn't ashamed of. Joined drama club and performed on stages. Cut off her permed hair and rocked a fro. Writing like crazy and showing anyone who cared; growing a fan base in school and online. She didn't know it then, but it was here she was learning her voice had volume, and people wanted her to blast it. She became someone she'd write about in her stories. Even though it was all an act, her best starring role to date, it was enough to help her get by. To survive. It silenced the self-hatred that was beginning to build due to neglect of interrogation, but as time went on and new masks took form, she realized pretending meant neglecting that inner child who just wanted to be herself and liked for it. Who didn't want to be compared. Who didn't want to be frowned upon for not being pretty. Who didn't want to be told they were too much, or too little. Who just wanted to SHOW UP, without pushback. At 29 years old, I've realized how much of myself I've created just to be seen. Over the last five years, something has called on me to undo those masks and to begin living in my truth. As a storyteller who wants to hold up the mirror, I was chosen to perform, and I was then tasked to learn how to leave the costume backstage. Not to make a home out of it. For friends, for lovers, for parents, for society, I have done so much dancing to survive, but that isn't LIVING. That isn't love. It's not care, it's not protection, it's not kindness. For a majority of my childhood, I spent it daydreaming. Wishing reality could look like my wildest dreams. And here I am, facing what truth looks like and realizing that I can bend it. I can find a way to merge my dreams and my reality without disappointing my inner child who'd rather get lost in the clouds and pretend she's riding them. That kid doesn't know how amazing she is. I don't remember everything, but for the things I do, sometimes I'm charmed by her, too. I look in the mirror and don't always recognize that kid, but sometimes when I look off into the distance and my lover asks, "Hey. Where did you go?" or my mother looks at me and just smiles because I'm radiating light she can't deny, I remember. When I write my tweets and people respond with, "You should write a book. The way you write, I'd read anything you make," I remember. When I decide to meditate and my imagination brings me back to a dream I had a while ago, I remember. When I look in the mirror and look past the make-up and the experiences I've lived, I see her. She's so precious, man. She's a kook, lol. She's rambunctious and impulsive and loud and expressive and quiet and dreamy and fluid and hard. She's a whole ass universe. I wish she knew her impact. God, I wish she knew. I do my best to tell her... well, I'm learning to. When she wants to throw a tantrum, I'm learning how to parent her the way she needed. I'm trying to work with her. When she wants me to perform for people to get the attention she wants, I try not to fight her but get her to understand we can't do that anymore. That maybe we don't NEED to do that anymore. That maybe it's time we just be who we wanna be. She doesn't know what that means. I try to explain that it's like her daydreams, except real. She's not convinced. "Dreams are better." She walks away to her corner to embark on a mental journey. It's a constant battle with her. She wins a lot of the time. She's stubborn like that. But every now and again, when something in reality works just like or better than we could have imagined, there's a glimmer in her eye. Hope, I think.

As I learn to navigate adulting, I run into fear, and run away from responsibility. But 2019 taught me that it's high time I stop running, because the freedom I'm meant to have is so rich and the brilliance I harbor is so abundant, they're meant to marry. The mirror I want my stories to reflect to the world require I go through this transformation, and feel it ALL. I've stayed in places I didn't belong, loved people who weren't as good to me as they could, hid from opportunities that could give me wings, all because of who I thought I was. All of the voices from people I loved who, when I think about it now, were simply afraid for me and themselves and just didn't know how to say that. Despite knowing the masks I've put in place to survive and understanding that in 2020, I'm being asked to leave them behind, the fear of shedding skin is real. Because that means people I wanted to stay forever have to go. The stories I repeat to myself have to end. Discernment to trust I will always do my best to give myself what I need must be sharpened. Love, the way I want to experience it, must be given room to walk into and I have to set the example. 2019, my goodness. What an acid trip. A chapter I hated to write, and probably should have embraced more of. It dragged me because I had given up on myself during a period where curiosity could have governed me further. I remember being a kid who loved to be curious. Now, I hide away in fear. Where is that girl? I'm determined to meet her again. Talk to her. Conjure up a master plan. I cannot play small, and the universe has stopped begging. It's sitting back now, watching what I'll do now that it's not up my ass. I turn 30 years old this year, and there's something personal to that. A resonance very warm. Will I meet the beauty of that turning point of my life with arms wide open? Will I grab the opportunity to take that kid's hand and show her something different? Can I stand by her?... This kid's name is Cynthia. She's one of the coolest kids I know. And if no one else can, then I will. I'll stand by her. I'll stand by me.

#blog #journal #black queer writer #writer of color

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sungggyu · 5 years

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190602 ; “ARBOR DAY” fan account

recently, i flew to macau for woohyun's solo concert "arbor day" so i'll be sharing a little fan account for everyone who wasn't able to attend his concert! more importantly i would say this is for myself as well since it would give me something to remember when i look back on this moment in the future ;~;

i believe some people may have already seen tweets of random anecdotes from this concert so for starters, i'll be skipping the anecdotes and saving them for the end. i'll start with a general impression and account of the entire concert and the other events (rehearsal/hi-touch/group photo) instead.

so, a nam woohyun concert. i personally have never been to a solo concert/fanmeet event of woohyun only so i did not have any expectations beforehand of what this could turn out like. i must say, however, that after experiencing his concert, it did fit in with the image of woohyun in my mind a lot with all his teasing, playing, flirting and also tears ( 〃´艸｀) whereas at sunggyu's solo concert last year, he gave off the impression of a shy older brother figure, woohyun's really was just that of a playful crybaby boyfriend hahaha.

although there have been fan accounts from his previous concerts in seoul and taipei and it isn't like i haven't already heard all of his songs before this, i was still impressed by the versatility of his music when i saw it live. from ballad to rock to dance, you name it. the arrangement of the stages from start to end where he changes from one genre to another seamlessly really just seemed to highlight this fact even further. performing all these different genres is one thing but performing them well, which he did, is a whole other thing and for that, i find it really commendable. also, there’s this other thing - his voice……!! it’s really so, so beautiful and rich and his vibratos especially, they really resonate deep within your heart or maybe that’s just my bias speaking. i was turned into a puddle from the moment he opened his mouth and sang the first song during rehearsals :-( but all bias aside and as everyone probably would've already guessed, his singing was really just pure solid from start to end so that's that on that.

moving on, fan interactions. i realised that the woohyun i saw that day is really not that much different from the woohyun we see on the cameras in that he’s every bit as talkative, playful and if i may add, even more mischievous because the language barrier gave him more things to tease fans about. those aside, he’s also just as caring and sweet to fans so yeah.. i was a puddle….. like what i said earlier (இ﹏இ`。) important stuff (i.e. introductions, wrapping up etc.) aside, i felt like woohyun really took quite a bit of time out to play with fans. he would ask us questions and pick out any answer he could hear from the crowd and expand it from there and by expand, i mean, using it to tease fans. at one point he would ask us if we really meant it when we said we would stay by his side and fans were like “YESSS” and he’s like “really? really really?” then fans “YEAAAAA!!” and then woohyun just went “really? fake! fake!” in mandarin and the exchange went back and forth a couple of times until he got enough fun out of it. he was also super adamant that he was not performing “hold on me” when fans screamed “hold on me!!” after he announced that the next song was the last song but he was such a liar, the song immediately after he said that was “hold on me”… this child（´＿｀;） he also made sure the translator went through the same teasing we did. i have to admit the translator was not very good at her job and really did not do her homework at all because there were so many fandom-related terms that she completely missed out on but it’s alright.. woohyun made sure she learned ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

towards the end of the concert, he gradually became more and more emotional compared to his playful self at the start of the concert. he spoke about things that were not all that unfamiliar to inspirits by now such as parting for a long time, not being able to see each other for a long time and more. the only thing that made this a little more sad than, say, sunggyu, dongwoo or sungyeol’s farewells, was that this is a man who wears his heart on his sleeve so personally, his fears (i presume) of not wanting to part from fans for such a long time could be felt more easily :-( he always seemed to be a little extra touched when fan support events throughout the concert mentioned staying by his side all the time. he would point it out and ask if we meant what we said, if we really really mean it. i guess behind his playful mask he’s still a really sensitive and emotional person who needs a lot of love ;~;

hi-touch!! his hands were really so small and chubby.. stubby? a lot of people have told me i have huge hands for a girl so when i did hi-touch with woohyun his hands and mine were pretty much the same size…… ( ´～`) i had a guy acquaintance who attended the concert as well and he was telling us how woohyun’s hands were tiny compared to this.. nam tiny woohyun :-( anyway his hands felt so nice ha ha it was so warm and when we passed by he had his free hand placed on his lips as a fingerheart while telling us “thank you~ thank you~” <3 moving on to the group photo, i must admit i felt that he stood a little far? the backup dancers and manager actually stood between him and the fans but they would duck down when the photo was taken.. which was kinda dumb because if it weren’t for woohyun making the effort to lean forward in most photos, it would have looked like a photo of woohyun and fans, not a photo of woohyun with fans :-/ but this aside, woohyun does different variations of hearts in each group photo haha. when my group was leaving and the next group was getting ready, he would look at us and make lots of kissy fingerhearts saying “i love you” over and over in mandarin (இ﹏இ`。)

through this concert, i felt that i’d experienced a new side of woohyun. of course, it’s nothing i haven’t seen or heard from inspirits who’ve seen him overseas but witnessing it for myself always beats secondhand accounts. i hope that before he eventually goes on hiatus for his mandatory military service, he’ll be able to have all the opportunities he can possibly get to explore more sides of himself and until he’s discharged from his service, i hope he knows inspirits will wait for him just as we’ve been doing for every other enlisted member ♡

for those who are interested, i’ll insert the anecdotes at the bottom of this post after this final photo~

(i) woohyun was asking us what we liked about him and he was reading out answers that fans yelled at him. some fan in the front yelled that he was tall and when fans laughed after he repeated that answer, he was so indignant - “ah really someone said it right here!”. fans laughed even more so he sought out the same fan who said that and asked them “you said i’m tall, didn’t you?” and the fan yelled enthusiastically “yes!!!” and woohyun laughed (so adorably!! literally “he he he he”) and asked them why were they so cute hahaha

(ii) i don’t know how the conversation got here but at one point he ended up asking the general age of the audience. on the topic of age, a fan shouted “ahjussi!” at woohyun and woohyun was so offended hfsjfsljk. his exact words were “예? 아저씨라고요? 나? 나 아직 아니야! 오빠! 아직 애기애기! 아기~ 저 아기 아니라고? 오빠오빠!“ (“i’m sorry? you're calling me ahjussi? me? i’m not one yet~! *indignant* i'm oppa! i'm still baby, baby! baby~ *sputters* i’m not a baby? i'm oppa, oppa! he he he”) this was so!! cute!! yes nwh you are a baby :-(

(iii) during the ending ment,

woohyun: woollim ent., who allowed me to be where i am today.. crowd: *booing*

LOL

(iv) woohyun wouldn’t let the translator off the hook too lol during the ending ment, he thanked the macau agent promoters and the translator couldn’t quite catch the name of the agents so she stuttered a little and didn’t manage to get the pronunciation right. woohyun repeated it for her once, twice, syllable by syllable, and she hesitantly said it again (although it still sounded a little bit off). there was an awkward silence after that since the translator left it hanging at that and woohyun said in fake exasperation “yes… yeah…” and when the translator still didn’t say anything after this, he laughed a bit and said he meant for her to continue on hahaha.

(v) the last line of “smile” went “늘 난 옆에 있을게” (i’ll always be by your side) so when he finished singing the song:

woohyun: 진짜 옆에 있을거에요? (will you really be by my side?) inspirits: yes! woohyun: 옆에 있을거에요? (you’ll be by my side?) inspirits: YES!! woohyun: 真的? (really?) inspirits: 真的! (really!) woohyun: 假的! (fake!) inspirits: 真的! (really!!) woohyun: 假的假的! (fake! fake!) inspirits: 真的真的! (REALLY!!) woohyun: 真的? (really?) inspirits: 真! 的! (REALLY!) one brave soul: 假的! (it’s fake!) woohyun: …누구야! =_= who are you? (who’s that! who are you?)

icon of maturity, nam woohyun ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#personal #woohyun #infinite #♡♡♡#*fan account

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everyonesfavouritealiens · 5 years

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Interview with Tyler Blackburn from Pretty Little Liars | By Maranda Pleasant

Maranda Pleasant: What inspires you the most?

Tyler Blackburn: I know this might sound a little cliche but, I feel like everybody is searching for the same thing, and that is truth. I think that’s sort of the journey to define that which is most inspirational. Even in acting, when I watch an actor who I find to be so truthful in their craft, or a musician who gets up there and sings so truthfully—I like that. I really like individualism based on truth. That’s something I try to think about. What do I actually think about that, what do I actually feel right now? As opposed what should I feel.

MP: Love that. Powerful. What is it that makes you vulnerable?

TB: I’m very sensitive. It’s always been something I’m very in tune with. I am very emotional. Sometimes to the point of where I just want to hide away, because I can’t get a handle on myself. I don’t mind that idea. Vulnerability is kind of one of those things of, how do I really feel in this moment?

Wow, this is when I’m the most vulnerable. Obviously when I’m put in a situation where there is a lot of attention on me, it’s this weird dichotomy—I like it, because I feel like I’m a natural born performer. But I do feel the most vulnerable.

As life goes on I’m learning to trust myself more, so I am more comfortable— you have to be, doing things in front of people, especially when there’s lots of pressure. I have to make decisions. When you’re put in a position where you’re having to decide, Is this a good decision? Is this the right decision for everybody involved?—it makes me feel a little unsteady, unsure.

MP: Wow. I really appreciate that level of honesty. How do you process pain?

TB: I don’t have one go-to way to deal because circumstances change. One thing I’m recognizing more and more in myself—and looking to change—is going down more of a self-destructive path when I feel pain. I’m trying to avoid that as much as possible. That is an impulse, when I feel out of control. We don’t really understand why we feel what we do in that moment, so it’s almost like I’m trying to take control, even if it’s bad control. I do try to experience the emotions as they come, but sometimes it becomes just too much.

I lost my cousin. It’s been about a month. He’s a year younger than me. He OD’d. It was three days before my birthday. I grew up with this guy. It was such an intense scenario. I went through so many emotions. It kind of ran the gamut of anger and sadness and self-destruction and all those things.

MP: I understand.

TB: Even just talking about it, that’s very cathartic, too. That’s one way of doing that. Actually putting it out as a truth as opposed to trying to conceal it from yourself.

MP: I’m with you. I tend to isolate. Put on the Damien Rice and go paint and isolate for days and drink too much. [laughing] I get it. I’m learning more positive ways of handling myself.

TB: Absolutely. I don’t know about you but I look back at my sort of wilder days where I was doing lots of drugs, and I thought I was just trying to have a good time, but I was covering up so much pain. I haven’t done any drugs for five years now. Now I’m actually presented with these problems and I’m looking at them differently. I see even the small things. Like you said, Damien Rice—he’s perfect for those moments!

MP: You can get really f*cked up on Damien Rice!

TB: Oh my god, I know! I love the album O.

MP: When you run out of Damien Rice you always switch over to Glen Hansard. You said you’ve been clean for five years?

TB: I haven’t done any drugs for five years. I don’t even smoke pot anymore.

MP: That’s great. How was that process for you? Was there a wake up call?

TB: It mostly starts with a decision. I was inching towards making that final decision but I would always retract. It became a vicious cycle. I started realizing that I was no longer having fun with it. It was all-consuming. I had support from my girlfriend at the time. She didn’t do drugs. That was really helpful. I did do a sort of a detox program. I didn’t go to rehab or anything like that. It was a lighter detox program that really eliminates drugs and toxins from your body. Keeps the cravings and stuff from coming back. That made it a lot easier. And then just really reshaping myself.

It’s just so funny—as soon as I did that, that’s when I started booking acting work, which was my dream. So many things have gotten so much better. My life is just in a completely different place and I’m so happy about that.

MP: Deep bow. That is not an easy thing to do. Tell me what you’re passionate about? I heard you speak out against bullying?

TB: My interests lie in nurturing children. That’s part of the reason why the bullying thing has become an aspect of my life. I was bullied a lot growing up. I know firsthand the amount of life that is sucked out of you every time that happens, and how it affected me as a young adult. I was asked if I wanted to do a campaign through Seventeen magazine. And I was like, “Wow, yeah, I would like to.”

It was one of the first moments that I realized that being on a TV show didn’t stop when the director says, “Cut.” There’s a responsibility level that comes along with being a public figure. I can use this for really cool things. That really [allows] me to be very honest about my experiences.

I used to want to kill myself because I had lost so much of who I knew I was because of all the other invalidation from people. It sends you spiraling where you’re like, Wait, I know I have this quality, I know what my integrity is—until you’re being fed all this false information about yourself. You start to wonder why. You don’t feel good about yourself because you no longer believe in yourself.

It’s so important for everybody at every age, but especially kids. High school is a really strange time—you’re not a kid, you’re not an adult. You’re about to be an adult, you’re going to have to make some really intense decisions. It’s a really pivotal time to have as much self-confidence as you possibly can. Even if that means you have one friend who supports you completely. I’m sort of ranting but…

MP: I like your rant! Keep going.

TB: Thanks! I just feel like that spoke to me a lot. I know that the demographic for the show [Pretty Little Liars is pretty much high school students. Not all, but I know that’s a big part of it. I find that again, it’s beneficial to be as truthful as possible. I know that when that magazine issue came out, I got so many tweets about that, saying, Thank you for being honest. It was just really great.

I got to go to an anti-bullying rally in Washington, DC. That was really cool. Parents spoke whose kids have killed themselves because of bullying. It makes me sad. I was there and all the people on the panel were there to raise awareness about that. It’s fulfilling to me in a way that I had never experienced before. I love to act, I love that aspect of my life, but the fact that that sort of parlayed into this other sort of feeling of fulfillment was unbelievable. Now I’m Global Ambassador for Stomp Out Bully. I don’t get to do as much work with them as I would like to.

MP: Thank you for that, by the way. I was suicidal for years in my teens and even almost up into college. Just because of bullying. It doesn’t take long to start believing that stuff. Just living in fear and all kinds of self-worth issues—you don’t shake that off. It takes years to clear that.

TB: It does. In a lot of ways, certain things, it feels like they’re never going to go away. The best thing to do is continue to ask questions, look that fear in the eye.

I feel like from a very early age, we know who we are as individuals. I love when I see parents with their kids in these crazy outfits and they’re like, “That’s what they wanted to wear.” Those small things are so important.

That’s why I think children need to be nurtured for what they are as opposed to what you want them to be. I think that’s when those ideas come into your head of like, What should I feel in this moment? It’s because someone told you, “Your instinct was incorrect.” And you’re like, Why? Why is that wrong?

MP: What projects can we support you in right now?

TB: We just wrapped up the season of Pretty Little Liars. We’ve been working pretty hard on that. I am working on music presently, also through ABC Family. I’m recording some really great tracks right now.

MP: That’s right, you’re a musician.

TB: Mostly a singer. I just recently started writing lyrics. It’s been a new venture for me. I’m really proud of [what] I’m doing musically. The new season of Pretty Little Liars comes out around January 5th.

#tyler blackburn #this is an interview he did in 2013 for origin magazin #this is a real interview #I love him #he's a beautiful human being #interview #tw bullying #tw suicide

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lovemesomesurveys · 5 years

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Nickname; Just Steph, really. Oh, and “Sis” by my family. How many piercings do you have, and where? 2: 1 in each earlobe. What color are your eyes? Brown. And hair? Naturally dark brown, but I dye it red. Does orange look good on you? Can you pull it off? I don’t think any color looks good on me, but anyway I do have a couple orange shirts.

What do you do when it storms and the power’s out all night? That’s never happened, but I imagine I would just read on my phone or listen to Spotify until I fell asleep. What do you do with yourself when you’re at the beach? My mom, brother, and I like to go and just relax and chill. We don’t even really talk a whole lot, we just kinda zone out. She and my brother usually are lying down with headphones in or taking a nap while tanning, and I just get lost watching the ocean crash in and out and listening to the sound it makes. I just soak it all in. I love it. Are you shy, or no? Very. Have you ever been to St. Augustine? Nope. Have you ever been to Ocala? Nope. Have you ever just been to Florida? Nope. What about Indiana? Nope. Are you nosey? I mean, sometimes I want the “tea” as the kids say about certain things lol. I’ll see a vague status or tweet or something and want to know what it’s in reference to. I’m more nosey when it comes to celebrity gossip stuff, though. Do you “pry”? Well, like with my family I might ask about something in a general way and see what they offer up themselves. If I can tell they don’t want to talk about something then I don’t push it. If it’s someone I don’t know well then no, I don’t ask about it. I am guilty of trying to piece it together myself based on other tweets/statuses when possible, though... :x Why does everyone hate Justin Bieber so much? He did some stupid, douchey things in the past, but it seems he’s grown up now and living the married life. What’s your favorite commercial? I don’t care much for commercials. Do you find me annoying, yet? No. Who has the prettiest eyes you’ve ever seen? Alexander Skarsgard. I’m also quite envious of Paris Jackson’s eyes. When’s the last time you pulled an all-nighter? I don’t recall. I don’t think I have at all this year thus far. They used to be pretty common for me, but now I can barely stay up until like 2. What were you doing? During my all nighters? Just watching TV and on Tumblr and/or doing surveys, mostly. Sometimes I played The Sims or colored. Purple on guys; Yes, or no? I don’t care. Do you like Boys Like Girls? I was really into them at one point. Hero/Heroine was my favorite of theirs. Do you actually try everything on before you buy it? I never do that. I rarely have an issue with something not fitting right anyway. Do you ever actually check the price? Always. I’m not rollin’ in the deep where I can just spend willy nilly. What’s your favorite candle scent? I really love autumnal scented ones like Bath & Body Works has. Have you ever known anyone with a dog blind in one eye? My dog, Brandie, became blind during the last 3 years of her life due to diabetes. You do, now. Sortof. Ah. Have you ever been friends with a forgein exchanged student? I don’t think I knew any. Was it sad when they went back to… wherever they came from? Have you ever been given any sort of ring? Yes, as gifts from my parents. The last one I received was a college class ring. Do you know anyone that works at a tattoo shop? Nope. If you HAD to get a tattoo, what would it be, and where? I’ve wanted ‘free bird’ tattooed on my inner wrist for several years. Do you own any lockets or charm bracelets? Yeah. The last dress you were in; What’d it look like? It’s white and teal. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars? I never got into it. What’s your favorite nickname of yours? Like I said, I only have 2. What’s one of yours that you HATE? I don’t hate any of them. Maple or hazelnut flavoring? I like both. What’s your favorite Coke product? Coke. What’s the brand of your cell-phone, and the color? A coral Apple iPhone XR. What’s your favorite body-part on the opposite sex? I find that hands can be pretty attractive. Are you now, or have you ever been, a cheerleader? Nope. Have you heard any of Eminem’s new Recovery songs? They’re not new now, but yeah. Favorite song lyrics; In general? I have too many. Watergun or water-balloon war? Water gun, I guess. I never enjoyed being hit with a water balloon. Have you ever watched Ugly Betty? I think I saw bits here and there. Would running into your ex right now be painful? It’d just be painfully awkward. What’s the most annoying sound, ever? * Anything loud and beeping and repetitive. I also get rlly aggravated when the television is turned up too loud <<< Same! And eating sounds, like smacking, sucking, slurping.... aljfklsflsdfljks Are you typo-proned? No, but it happens sometimes. How do you feel about Lady GaGa? I like some of her songs. Are the rumors about her true? What rumors? Are you friends with any “trolls”? No. What would you get a boyfriend for his 17th birthday? I’m 30 years old, I wouldn’t be dating a 17 year old or have any idea what to suggest as a gift for one for someone else. Does your hair have a mind of it’s own? It does seem that way. It’s very annoying. Is Dane Cook really all that funny? I don’t think he is. I’m not that familiar with his comedy. Do you watch Glee? Nope. Do you ever shop at Fredflare.com? Nope. I’ve never even heard of it. Do you happen to know anyone named Matty? (Matthew or Matt will suffice) No. What’s he like? Are you always hyper? I’m never hyper. Do you know anyone that’s afraid of elevators? Not severely, but I kind of am, which sucks because I have to use them. Do you like country music? Yeah, some. Y'know. Like, “my mule left me for my sheepdog”; that sorta thing Har har. Do you know any scenesters?!?? Is that still a thing? I wouldn’t know, I’m old and out of the loop. Has any guy ever forgotten your name so often and exclusively that he just started calling you “girl”? Wow, no. Did you have to have braces for awhile, too? :[ Yes, but not for my teeth. Kisses on your cheek, or forehead? I think forehead kisses are cute if they’re from a guy I’m interested in. When’s the last time you wore facepaint? What’d it look like? I don’t recall. Do you still have a teddy-bear lying around somewhere? Not a teddy bear, but several giraffe stuffed animals all around my room. Are you a good-speller? I think so. Do you over-analyze everything, like me? Yeppp. Have you ever rode on the back of a moped? No. Do like Frank Sinatra? I like a couple of his songs. What about Cap'n Jazz? I’m not familiar with them. Is there anything in your room that belongs to a boyfriend, or a friend of the opposite sex? Nope. What’s the brand of the computer or laptop that you’re on? Apple. Are you sitting on your bed? Or a spinny chair?? I’m on my bed. Anyone you can’t get off your mind? No. Have a “bone to pick” with anyone? Nah. What does love feel like? Warm and fuzzy. haha. Who’s your favorite Beatle? I don’t have one. I’m not a big Beatles fan. Like, I like some of their songs, but eh. Does it annoy the hell out of you when people smoke around you? Ugh, yes. Do you like guys with long-ish hair? I personally like short hair on guys. How do you talk when you’re drunk? I usually became quite chatty. Have you ever texted an ex whilst drunk? How’d that go? Yeah. I don’t really remember how the conversation went, that was several years ago now. What do you order at Starbucks? Usually a venti white chocolate mocha with soy, sometimes a caramel macchiato with soy. During the fall and winter I like to get some of the seasonal drinks. Except for pumpkin spice. I know, I know. Shocking, right? Penn Station or Subway? I’ve never been to Penn Station, so I’ll go with Subway. People with addictions are weak. Brutal truth, or “falsies”? I wouldn’t say that at all. Do you have a “gunkle”, like me? [: No. The underwear you’re wearing right now; Describe it. They’re blue. When’s the last time you were on a swing? Not since I was a kid sometime. Whose hand did you last squeeze? My doggo’s. Have you ever actually tied string around a finger? Yes. Wouldn’t that be difficult? It wasn’t that hard. Have you ever been in a cornfield with a boylyfriend? (: “Boylyfriend”... And no. Does baby talk annoy you? No. What’s the last thing you wrote (or drew) on yourself? *shrug* That would have been a long time ago. Can you walk straight in heels? I can’t do that at all. Do you like Eskimo kisses? Sure. When’s the last time you sat (or did anything, I guess) on a rooftop? Never. I’d be way too scared to ever do that. Have you ever heard anyone call kissing “swappin’ spit”? Yeah. Do you have to stand on your tip-toes to kiss your boyfriend? No boyfriend. If I had one, they’d have to bend down to kiss me. Or, have you had to before? Think about your ex. Just do it. How do you feel? I don’t really feel anything regarding them. When’s the last time you lied in bed with the opposite sex. Who was it? I’ve never done that, actually. Have you ever been tackle-hugged? (: Yeah. Have you ever been tackle-hugged into a pool with all your clothes on? Omg, no. That would be very shitty thing to do since I can’t swim and I’m in a wheelchair. Do you own any heart-shaped glasses? Nope. Do you have any photographs on your walls? Yes. Do you own an Ugly Doll? [: No. I’ve never heard of those... Do you overuse :)s, like me? Nah. I don’t go emoji crazy. Do you overuse the word “like”, or “amazing”? Probably “like.” Do you have any crowns? No. Brunette dudes with bleach blonde hair are utterly unattractive. Yes? They can be. Is there anyone that you “see yourself in”, so to speak? No. What’d you last use scissors for? I don’t remember. Have you ever rejected someone’s kiss before? Yes. How well’d that go over with him? (Or her, I’m not judging) They just kept asking for one. Are you really over him, or are you just a great liar? I’m over any guy I’ve had feelings for the past. Whose grave did you last visit? My family members who have passed away have been cremated. Do you have any polaroids? (pictures) Yeah, several. How many photo-albums do you have? A few. Do you scrapbook? Yes. Have you ever made a PostSecret book? Nope. Have you ever seen The Upside Down Show? No. Is it something children should really watch? I don’t know what it is. What about The Wiggles? I’ve seen parts of it before when my brother was little and yeah I recall it being fine for kids to watch.

“Fruit salad, yummy, yummy.” Name a song that gives you goosebumps. Hmm. Is it wrong to call things “gay”? I think it’s insulting. What’s the most terrifying thing you’ve ever been through? Almost dying. Is there really such thing as a “chemical imbalance”? Uh, yes. Is love really just a chemical reaction? Sure.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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incarnateirony · 5 years

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Ratings Talk Masterpost.

It's about time I just try to masterpost as much of my crap as I can as a general answer to recurring questions, as I'm typically Beetlejuiced at least once a day to have to explain the same shit over and over again and I, at least, would like a one link drop involving common issues that are often interwoven in one big, wanky pillar of misunderstanding in the fandom.

Topics include, via headers:

“Is the show in danger of cancellation from bad ratings? I read an article/post-”

“But the demo on this last episode was-”

“I don't get it. Where are people going?”

“When you say classic ratings are dying, that has to be some kind of hyperbole, right?”

"But Supernatural ran a 1.9 average on its first season!"

"Well, maybe it was just, you know, ratings decline effected it until then. I mean, can anybody track this?"

And just because I’m psychic: Spring Decline

“Misha’s fanbase is just kids!”/”Only teenagers want to watch this new crap!”

Character popularity, etc, wahhh

“I STILL call bullshit on ratings decline/curve!”

“Something something baseball”

And more.

This post will probably be updated as I go along and realize rando things I should have included, but if I put it behind a handy-dandy cut I can pull that off.

Also, don’t be afraid to send asks about anything here, or frankly, about anything NOT here that I didn’t think to include.

Also this is gonna be a bitch to update come next year by loading in more modern resource links by season but whatever.

So. Cut below.

Is the show in danger of cancellation from bad ratings? I read an article/post-

Simply, no.

Clickbait is clickbait, and earns people money. They do it on a lot of shows, knowingly drop a hot line or whatever to make people either hate-click or sling it around to bash people on the head with and boost their rates. And/or sometimes they just have no idea what the fuck they’re talking about, which is why ratings savant sites like TV Grim Reaper drag the fuck out of them sometimes. And before you think the first tweet proves your point, please read the following two which expand and clarify.

The show's ratings aren't bad compared to normal. The show isn't anywhere near a danger zone line of cancellation based on ratings. People who have no idea what they're looking at have been screaming that the show is dying and about to get cancelled from bad ratings for ten years, ironically only after the show became safe and after Kripke himself stopped worrying about cancellation. (x) (x) (x) To link a few. I could keep going. But this falls squarely into the “just because you don’t like it doesn’t mean it isn’t true” area, and I’ll continue to show why, below, chart after chart, source after source, on the why, and just how fragile SPN was, and when it shifted. The shorthand is here, but as that’s just a microcosm of the discussion I’m fully aware some asshat will try to argue points the rest of this post will discuss.

We are more at risk of J2(M) deciding they're just tired of it, tired of being demanded of, and just... tired. It's not coinkidink that has J2 taking less screen time, Misha getting more screen time (rather than a few minutes per episode) and even when we have brother episodes, a few later in the season where they're mostly working independently. These guys only want to work a few days a week. Which is fair. They've been at this for 14 years. Splitting up the workload onto a larger cast clears their schedules. The spinoff to keep the franchise alive got dropped (mostly due to network drama re Plec and CBS) So guess who wants to help their friends stay at work on something they all love, and their franchise stay alive? But they also want family and time off. Expect more of this if the show is bound to continue, and expect them to throw up their hands and say "nevermind" if there's too much bitching or recoil about it.

But the demo on this last episode was-

It looked low, right? So what this is going to take is a general explanation of the decay of ratings. But the "too long, didn't read" version is that ratings are on the decline and have been since the dawn of television.

A simple google search will tell you this, and that it's a problem well above and beyond Supernatural.

Feel free to re-search it by adding words like "by year," "marketing," or "causes of."

Similarly, CW has quite literally never targeted the 18-49 demo as a whole. They specifically target the 18-34. They can sell this as a targeted demo to get better money, even if other shows outside of Supernatural (which I’ll cover charted out and sourced below) have experienced a level of primetime ratings collapse that even makes that a bit spotty. It’s the same marketing trick that invented the 18-49 to begin with, when ratings were originally one big fucking vat. Now, you can track multiple marketable subdemos like 18-49, 18-34, and 25-55, to name a few. It’s become globalized to target the 18-49, but marketing and ad space sales are decided by things more refined than that.

I don't get it. Where are people going?

DVR (+3/7). Apps (like the CW app). Amazon. Hulu. Firestick. Roku. Most of these things didn't exist 14 years ago, and the few that did were far from popularized. By 2020 there will be 4x as many viewers watching via digital methods as there are watching classic TV. As of 2016, it was 3.4x~.

Here's a discussion where multiple charts sourced from the Nielsen company, who manages ratings, about it.

Digital ratings are not tracked by Nielsen, and there's a variety of discussions about it. In fact, there was a day when Executive Producer Matthew Federman from CBS Blood and Treasure gave Kelios a good shake about her bad ratings narrative and why Nielsen is a legacy system, poorly maintained, and about people in power that benefit from it staying out of date.

Unsurprisingly, it didn't keep her from talking more bad stuff about ratings afterward. But what we do know is that for two years running (and only in recent years), SPN has been in the top 20 digitally called shows in the world. Because while we don't see these reflecting in our Live+SD ratings, networks do. (Link is to when it ranked 18th, when in 2018 it ranked 16th. Having a hard time finding that link at the moment, I may edit it back once I find it again, but if you want an idea, 2016, 19th; 2017, 18th; 2018, 16th; noticing a trend?) This puts it in the same running of the ilk of Game of Thrones, the Walking Dead, Grey's Anatomy, Pretty Little Liars, Big Bang Theory, and a variety of DC properties.

CW has never been a classic primetime leader. It's target goal has typically been 1/3 to 1/4 of the big 4 network's numbers, ish. That actually varies since CW handles their WB and CBS properties differently due to a variety of contractual reasons. WB properties have to score higher. CBS can slog bottom of the barrel because they fund CW with minimum airing requirements to make use of CW's deal to vomit products out onto Netflix to continue making money even if Pedowitz laments the ratings of a CBS product.

Similarly, while CW has never-ever-ever been a competitor in live primetime TV (which I’ll further eviscerate below), it has been a leading competitor in digital, as above. They also base their marketing on digital performance rather than classic Q scores. The audience they want is online. Their primary audience is online. In the world, online is almost 4x the size of classic. But CW, a back end network show always and forever, is one of the leading competitors. SPN’s presence is a nearly completely digital one. So if you’ve ever tagged “it’s just online!” @ TPTB you may want to not do that. Because it’s dumb. Stop that.

CW does have one specific target for live TV: the 18-34 demo. And that's how they stay swinging and keep the ad-lights on in live, by marketing that. But that takes a discussion about Demo. This is the digital section. I'll talk about demo and classic TV ratings later. But if you want to know where people are going - digital is booming, and classic TV is dying.

When you say classic ratings are dying, that has to be some kind of hyperbole, right?

Not really, and Dabb's assistant brought it to light here.

Of course, again, antis that have no reading comprehension or idea what she was talking about acted like she was talking specifically about SPN despite her talking about network TV and the season. But classic TV is in fact going extinct, as per the article I linked you above.

But to illustrate how bad this is, have a website that tracks several hundred modern shows

Demos Year to Year

Breaking down Live + Same Day

The Myth of Thursday Premiums, but the discussion of ad rates per demo class

The Collapse of CW's advertisement rates, based on ratings decline - which you'll notice, SPN didn't even make the chart on gaugeable decline

On young skew and better ad rates

Demo is more Important than raw viewers

Just to link a few.

I mean honestly, ratings are complex as hell. It's not a matter of waving around a number and thinking you sound like you know what you're talking about, except to other people that don't know what you're talking about. Lots of shit effects things. Day, timeslot, other events (is there sports airing?), type of show (scripted, not?), and yes - most importantly - time. You could make it a full time job to browse a resource site like SpottedRatings for a WEEK and still not entirely get what the hell you're looking at, but at least you have a few indicators.

But the real indicator is our state of affairs. Take a look at this Sunday's ratings.

Notice anything... weird...?

Mostly that the only thing green at all is Sports? Notice that not a single show that WASN'T a live sporting event broke a 1.0? Not one.

And even if you go to, say, Thursday, when there was only ONE big live sporting event,

ahHhHhh Supernatural only got a 0.4 18-49!!!

And... only one show even broke a 2.0.

That show was running a high 3.x last year.

It ran a 2.3.

The others? Well, non sporting, you have two shows that did above 1.0. 1.0 and under? 12. 12 shows. 12 shows did not even hit 1.0.

"But Supernatural ran a 1.9 average on its first season!"

I promise you Supernatural was not the fucking king of the pool back in its day. In fact, just by a list of raw viewers, Supernatural was tied with Malcom in the Middle and Kitchen Confidential in 2005, at #127 King of Queens was bigger. Supernanny was bigger. Martha Stewart's Apprentice was bigger. Are we getting the idea? And yes, demo matters more than raw viewers, but raw viewers is part of what pans into demo. But that was at its peak, before spring decline in 2006 that it never recovered from. Here's the season with demo. 84 shows were bigger than it. SPN was the #85 show of the 2005-2006 fall season, with only 10 shows performing worse than it. Malcolm fell under it by the end of the year in demo.

So let's take a minute to reel that in and process it. SPN was in the BOTTOM 9% of shows, even after its first season got early premiere buzz. Do you want me to really paint out to you where it was by season 2 or 3? Cuz here you go, here's the TV season of season 3. #111. Five shows performed worse than it. Let's take a moment to wrap that up in our braincase. By season 3, Supernatural was the sixth worst performing show on television out of 116 tracked. But yeah, let's all smoke crack and pretend we have no idea what the fuck Kripke was talking about when he talked about riding the bubble and being in fear of cancellation.

For giggles, let's check out the TV year of season 4! #107... out of 129.

So for people being stubborn that don't think "#111 to 107 isn't huge!" let's scale that SPN just went from being in the bottom 10, then bottom 6, into there now being 22 shows performing worse than it. Now, it's only in the bottom 17% of shows. Not the bottom 9%/5% of season 1 and 2. Do you notice that launch? That's a big assed launch. And because the WB and CW had always been a smaller network than the big 4, that was actually enormous.

"Well, maybe it was just, you know, ratings decline effected it until then. I mean, can anybody track this?"

Yes and no. Because if nobody could, things would just be getting randomly cancelled all the time. If you listen to TVByTheNumbers' Gunsmoke Rule, you can't compare the ratings of a season to any season other than the immediately previous one (and, when not shorthand in a tweet, even that isn't wholy reliable for all the above crazy reasons.) However, that's even shorter shorthand for "please stop using ratings when you have no idea what you're fucking looking at, we're tired of seeing people in every fandom talk about the golden days because they don't comprehend their early seasons were actually in the ratings toilet."

Other places, like SpottedRatings, have developed methods of tracking this. For example, SR created the Plus System. (Master Page - but if you navigate the site you can learn the formula for it yourself.) The TLDR is they do a mix of averaging the results of ratings each night and evaluating the rate of decline the same time of year for the last two years to try to set a projected rate of decline that they then measure the results against in the scales listed in the link for general value of the show.

I know it sounds complicated, but bear with me. Pretend shows A, B, and C get ratings 3.1, 2.8, and 1.9 (average 2.6 - total 7.8) one year, and then the next year they all go down about 18% total between them (1.4 demo goes poof!, total of 6.4, so average between them should be 2.13), even if we shuffle what numbers end up exactly where, and the next year 20% (1.28 goes poof! Total 5.12, so the avg should be about 1.71 between them). That means next year, the annual decline will be speculated at about 19%. Which means we expect about 0.97 of demo to go poof! and leave us with a total of 4.15, or 1.38 between the three. 1.38 becomes our average performer line. Whoever is closest to 1.38 between the networks scores 100. Based on the formula in the link, if your ratings are lower, you score lower, and if you score higher, it's higher.

Due to the nature of the CW it sorta gets its own bracket for what's considered good, even. Based on the results of this scoring, they've put a few hundred shows into this interactive comparison chart where you can see how the industry average among them balances out year-to-year despite decline in every wing. Their score grades them.

For example, you'll see the dip in SPN after its premiere year, the dragging those bottom slots I mentioned, then the boost up which, if you only chart Supernatural, looks freaking huge. Similarly, the S7 plummet back into the bottom of the barrel on TV show performance. Then the S8 recovery, and the fact that since S9 we've been riding a high the likes of which the early generations have never seen. Again, scaled in equasion with these hundreds of sourced shows you've been linked to refer to above, and you can continue to navigate the annual charts by the links in various headers and footers.

You’ll notice SPN 14 isn’t in that yet (1-13 are) because, well, we’re only 3 episodes in at the point I’m writing this chart, Jan, and due to the complexity of ratings it’s a fool’s errand to chart in how it competes with other seasons, that early. Notice the big light lavender reaches of the highest/lowest episode value each season (for example, S13′s low dip was the Thanksgiving burnout everyone had a panic attack about THEN, too).

Now, Supernatural season 14 has slipped. A BIT. But this episode everyone was hollering about the ratings of, which could very easily be a one-off? Just like we get one-offs every year? Ranks in the same category as seasons 4, 5, and 8. At the same time, even with attempted year-to-year adjustments on SR, *EVERYBODY* is cripplingly down. The ONLY SHOW not utterly devastated on our night is the one outstanding half hourly that aired right before all of our sports kickoff garbage.

You'll also notice things have been installed that lets you see the lowest and highest brackets of each season alongside the average season value line. But that's just it. This big 14.3 crisis where stans from every corner started bawling about bad ratings because (standom reason)? Congrats. You found an episode from a solid season like 4, 5, and 8, above late S1, 2, 3, and 7. I don't include 6 in the numbers as it was on Friday which is a trash TV day. So was 7, but by forces we'll pretend not to understand, despite them both being on Friday, S7 fell into the toilet well beyond industry decline and boom! Like magic, bounced back in season 8. Again, for reasons we'll pretend not to understand.

Our current renewology for Supernatural is at 97%. Of the many things on the chopping block, that isn't it. Even if Dynasty is protected by their CBS deal, everything from Legacies (which even by power of its PREMIERE runs only a 41% renewal chance so far), All American - those are quicker coming up. Crazy Ex Girlfriend is already on the way out. Charmed, despite premiere power, is running lower, but is under CBS protection. Legends of Tomorrow is considerably closer to cancellation. Black Lightning is closer to cancellation. Do you notice a trend here?

And again, off of... a bad episode. Which can easily bounce back. Especially minding the impact of sporting events. Dare them to try to move any of those performers into Thursday, see how that goes for them. Sports eats us alive. Did you know the premiere gained another 50% demo and viewers off of +3s alone, much less +7 or digital?

And again, we roll back to digital: SPN is one of the top performers in the world, which many of those doing better than us aren't. So unless you think CW is gonna ax like 95% of its lineup at once, we’re pretty safe on ratings, guys. Again, it’s J2(M) getting sick of the bullshit that we have to worry about.

And just because I’m psychic: Spring Decline

This is a mighty warcry of ignorance that happens every year too. It is common, if not standard, for ratings to decline in the spring. Happens every year. To almost every show. Any show that *doesn’t* decline is an exception, and should be considered doing fucking fantastic. For example, season 8 is an outlier where our ratings kept going up in spring, whereas our other years went down. Us going down in spring wasn’t the show failing. It’s normal. There’s March Madness and TV premieres and all kinds of chaos blowing in the door that affect the actual GA on live viewership, and we generally get catchup in +3/7 or digital as a result, same as sports.

“Misha’s fanbase is just kids!”/”Only teenagers want to watch this new crap!”

Well, the shorthand version is to just read both parts of this post.

You’re super wrong

But even if you weren’t wrong, that’s not a bad thing.

As I’ve covered devoutly above, CW’s primary marketing niche is the 18-34. The younger their audience skews, the better they get paid - even more than normal with most networks. That rule pretty much sings true everywhere even on 18-49 target shows but even more firmly when it’s a network that deals with companies that target the 18-34 and pay based on that.

Also, due to women dominating primetime TV, and being a sort of double-yield view for the same demo, they’re also a demo that is more sought after. Even in demo the gender skew is also shifting female, ignoring that the demo itself is worth more heads. Also, it’s just a known thing that in non-sports genre, women engage more in digital fandom regardless of the viewer percentile. Between these two effects, we get a fuckton of girls online in this fandom, with males being the shiny pokemon kept as treasures in people’s pockets.

The linked post has all sorts of charts and sources linked in it so I’m going to leave this here, with the simple note of “If you ever @’d TPTB ‘Misha Collins’ fans are all teen-twenty-something-girls!!!’ “ ... Thank you? You’re better marketing and PR for him than his own agents could be. On the other hand, trying to convince the CW to listen to 35-49 or even older women probably isn’t gonna work out well for you. In fact, that is deadass a way to get quick, hard ignored, and if you’ve wondered why TPTB have stopped listening to you, you might want to turn on your thinker-box.

Character Popularity, etc, wahhh

Things like the size of different demographics beyond this (such as fans of different parts of the show, or actor/character popularity) are things I’ve covered in independent posts, but I may make a masterpost for it, too, at a later date. It’s really not directly relevant to immediate discussion beyond The Castiel Effect.

“I STILL call bullshit on ratings decline/curve!”

Really? Cuz when y’all made the Silent Majority boycott on goss and pretended it wasn’t a bunch of gossers making it, you guys were using the curve internally. Or trying to. You had your own semi-ratings-wizz person you called for help! (Helpful link.)

Funny how that disappeared when it completely stopped working for you. Probably were trying to over-value season 7 to talk yourself out of realizing your dumb shit had trashed the show, since your base averages for calculation were fucked up and that wasn’t worth a 2005 1.4. I sure as fuck wouldn’t want to feel responsible for my noisy opinion bringing the show down to being #200 on the season when it was #107 only 2 years prior. Yikes.

And people sit here wondering why Gamble doesn’t run the show anymore no matter how much bro-onlies beg her to come back. Like it was magic she was removed.

Look, for the record, I feel like Gamble was handed a bad deal. Manners had died, Kripke the creator left, Carver the head author left, she got thrust upon by a bunch of newbies that were so scrambled the newbies were copy editing their own work. Singer didn’t fucking help. She got given a tied up story of perfect poetry and told to make more under these conditions. Social media was new, mobile phones were just becoming a platform, and 100 assholes yelling a lot online was really loud when everybody at TPTB only had a few thousand followers. Thing is, that never really scaled up. As per the link, even at its peak, tricking the middle lane about their ambitions, they hit like 240 people. The fandom census hasn’t been any kinder to them either. They just hit capital asshole mode, yelled a lot and seemed huge when there was nothing to gauge it by, essentially cost a woman her job and have no real comprehension of that much less remorse. She did what she thought was the right thing, and it bit her. I can only imagine how it irks her to get tagged to come back now. She’s doing great with the Magicians. She does good work. Leave her be.

“Something something baseball.”

I heard some sort of fandom crack before that my source site (even though I use multiple?) is something about baseball leagues, possibly because of the use of the word “league average.” Luckily, as most people are literate, one look at these resources will tell you that’s a bold faced lie, so I’m just going to laugh and leave that desperate spin there.

OTHER STUFF

If you’re still confused about ratings, digital inflation or more, the ratings curve or whatever else past these links, check out my initial Ratings For Dummies post. It’s a little raw because I was new to tumblr, but the content is there. Similarly, just check out my #ratings tag. Adjacent, But not immediately related, is my #demographics tag as well, which covers a variety of things from Nielsen subdemos, fandom censuses, google trends, twitter trends, tumblr, pretty much any social media and how they’ve vertically integrated into our audience over time. I’ll probably do a master post for demographics stuff later, but this should do for now.

And I’ll also probably realize other stuff I should have added to this, especially as I receive asks. So it’ll get rolled in down here somewhere.

DON’T be shy about sending me asks for any clarification, or parts of this topic I just haven’t touched on. I don’t bite if you’re not a trolling douchecanoe. Curse of Knowledge is a thing, wherein you kind of think everyone knows certain things that you know, and it turns out they don’t, and it’s okay to ask questions.

#supernatural #ratings #television #death of primetime television #digital calls #demographics #this post is enormous already #mine

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prettylittleliarsxxxx · 6 years

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This is the shot: A slim, twentysomething white man, pale and dark-haired, waits in the center of the frame, head tilted fractionally to catch a glimpse of something (someone?) the viewer can’t see. He is wearing a dark jacket with a high collar, and a dark ball cap, even though he is inside, even though it is night. The collar is pulled up to obscure his too-romantic silhouette; the cap is pulled down to obscure his too-soulful eyes. This is the kind of man who literary heroines—or at least literary-minded ones—swoon over, but with so much of his face obscured, it is only his cheekbones, high and almost too pronounced, that signal such classic desirability.

Such a signal is important. Because everything else about this shot shouts that this man is a stalker: From the blurring of important details in the background, to the juuuust too-closeness of it, to the shadows cast from odder angles than seem natural, every aspect makes us want to scream at the heroine, RUN AWAY, LEAVE, HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE WHO THIS PSYCHO IS???. And so we need something, some small thing, to remind us, when this man is not actually dressed to kill, when he’s not staring at the device he’s got tracking her every digital step, why she can’t see what we see. And that small thing is: He is attractive.

Duh.

This, of course, is why this man’s story works. The fight-or-flight reflex his behavior should provoke in the object of his obsessions is counteracted by his charming physical appeal—lust, at least initially, wins out over fear, and as it does, provides the tension necessary to drive the narrative we keep tuning in for.

The trick is, how the show wants to resolve that tension is a question of cultural time. As in, when the handsome stalker was Ezra Fitz (Ian Harding) in Freeform’s teen thriller, Pretty Little Liars, just four short (long) years ago, the romantic hero vs. predator tension was invoked only as a means of creating a temporary road block to eventual nuptial bliss between A Good Man and his (high-schooler) sweetheart. Now, when the handsome stalker is Joe Goldberg (Penn Badgley) in Lifetime’s adult thriller You, here in the year of Goddammit Are We Collectively Still Not Taking #MeToo Seriously (a.k.a. 2018), the tension is very clearly meant to resolve not only in Joe’s psychopathy being found out, but in his sweetheart’s (and our) delusions of obsession-as-romance shattering completely.

Understanding that this is You’s endgame is helped, of course, by the fact that (spoilers) Joe straight-up whacks a romantic rival in the skull with a book mallet in the series’ pilot, then kills him with peanut oil after holding him hostage for all of episode two. But even if he didn’t go that far, that early, series creators Greg Berlanti (of the Arrowverse) and Sera Gamble (of The Magicians) make no effort to suggest that we in the audience should be ambivalent about Joe’s character, who addresses the narration of nearly every sequence to an idealized fantasy of Beck (Elizabeth Lail), the “you”-object of his affections, whom he spies from the other side of the book shop he manages in the series’ opening scene and immediately starts scheming to own. In fact, if Berlanti and Gamble make any effort in any direction, it is to keep reminding us that Joe is bad: Take centuries of art romanticizing the unwavering fixation of a handsome man on a single woman and add to it the sea of mundanely callous dudes in the modern dating scene, and you get an audience that’s been trained out of any ability to keep an attentive, clever, present guy, who likes books and making jokes and who is, on top of it all, moppily handsome, at any kind of wait-and-see remove. Like cognitive behavioral therapy, but for the propagation of violent loopholes in rape culture—without intervention from the puppeteers behind Joe’s dark adventures, we might trip over those loopholes and fall to our Joe-shaped doom.

It’s tempting to think that they aren’t doing this, as so much of You is staged as the exact kind of dreamy romance Joe imagines himself to be facilitating and Beck believes herself to be living. Each episode opens on a series of slow, bird’s-eye pans of New York City in early autumn, set to some kind of unobtrusively sweet indie-ish acoustic background music. Scenes with Joe and Beck together are filmed with a warm, golden filter, the background details and even the edges of the foreground taking on a comfortable kind of soft-focus that seems to snuggle them together like a big, metaphorical duvet. If they are outside, the melody of bird song is prominent. If they’re inside, the shush of pages turning and life being lived together is turned high. But when juxtaposed with the brittle, hard-focus, doom-soundtracked reality of the scenes of Joe’s life outside of his and Beck’s “romance,” the delusionally fantastic nature of those softer scenes is made obvious: They are all in Joe’s head, and while Beck may be living in the same fantasy at the moment, Joe’s head is a bad, dangerous place.

“Yeah, but he loves her, but he’s sweet, but it’s a love story!” Badgley imagined eventual fans arguing when he and Lail sat down for an interview with E! News earlier this summer. “In what world?! I don’t believe that’s love. I don’t think that love equals this, so I think we have to question, what is love, and if we think this is love, where are we mistaken?”

Where is throughout all of hetero-romantic pop culture. More acutely, where, I would (and already started to) argue, is in Pretty Little Liars, which not only features Joe’s stalker ancestor in the form of Ezra “I’ll Be Watching You” Fitz, but is in actuality one of the two other shows about attractive young people swept up in cyberstalking that every elevator pitch of You invokes. (The other, of course, is Gossip Girl. ) I spent the better part of three years and many hundreds of thousands of words arguing exactly how many rape culture/toxic masculinity balls Pretty Little Liars and the creator-blessed endgame of #Ezria dropped, so I neither need nor want to retread rageful ground here. But I do need to point out that none of those elevator pitches invoking Pretty Little Liars are doing so for the fact that You is finally juggling all the poisonous balls PLL, and, in its earlier way, GG, let fall—they’re doing so because stalking is a superficial thread throughout all three, and because You’s stars include PLL’s Shay Mitchell and GG’s Badgley. That’s it.

The thing is, the fact that You is treating the subject of violent masculine entitlement and obsessive, possessive “love” with more deadly gravity than either of its teen predecessors isn’t subtle; watch the first five minutes of the pilot and you’ll get that. But that’s the point I’m trying to make: You have to watch the first five minutes of the pilot to see it. If you just look to the promo interviews and red carpet soundbites and fluffy entertainment news tweets and headlines, our collective inability to accept the violent potential of the bad men in our midst is laid bare: Joe’s psychopathic character is translated as him being a mere “creepazoid,” according to the photo caption in Vulture’s review, while You itself is cheerfully summed up as a “messy, murderous romp.” According to a teaser interview with Entertainment Tonight last fall, Mitchell declared the show to be “juicy… It still has all those elements that PLL had with it being sort of a mystery, there’s a romance part to it and it’s just exciting.” Back on E! News, while the article anchoring Badgley and Lail’s interview sports the title, “Penn Badgley Is ‘Really Troubled’ By Anyone Thinking You Is a Love Story,” it eventually can’t help but suggest that, “What Joe does is not really harassment from what Beck can see, but from the viewer’s perspective, it’s not quite not harassment and also not quite not [sic] love.”

!!!!!!!

It’s true, as Kathryn VanArendonk argues in that Vulture review above, that the tone of You isn’t steady, but I’d argue in response that this is less an indicator of the show not being serious enough to be more than a romp, and more a reminder that we are not, as a species, that great at metabolizing the idea that multiple, contradictory things can be true about a person or a situation at the same time. Especially if that person is a man, and especially if the contradictions involve a woman. I am filing this piece on the weekend before the Senate Judiciary Committee plans to hear testimony in the alleged violent attempted rape of a 15-year-old girl by then-17-year-old Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh, and likely no one reading these words is unaware that “boys with be boys,” “that was just horseplay,” and “what is harassment anyway???” have resurfaced, in response, as an apparently reasonable foundation for the debate between men’s ability to gain fame and fortune and women’s basic humanity. “Two things can be true at the same time” has become a kind of clarion call across justice-minded social media, but that doesn’t mean it has been absorbed by everyone, on every level.

And so we get: Romp. Juicy. Romance. Not quite harassment. We get Ezra Fitz as pop culture’s most recently successful romantic stalker model. We get the urge to make excuses and carve a path for a bad man’s not-all-badness, even being inside Joe’s head in a way we could never be in Fitz’s, even knowing how he thinks, how he watches, how he transgresses Beck’s digital and physical privacy—even knowing how he murders people to get closer to her. We get that urge because we are also getting Joe swinging from murderously delusional to relatably jokey (his inner monologue as he disposes of his romantic rival’s body in episode three, and later as he picks up jogging to better follow Mitchell’s Peach, is particularly funny) to empathetically invested in making the daily life of his neglected kid neighbor just a bit richer and safer and less sad in a way that isn’t inconsistent so much as it is human, and in its humanity is challenging for us to accept.

Perhaps not surprisingly, the most emphatically unequivocating take I’ve found on the non-romance of You comes from Badgley himself, whose every interview has centered his utter rejection of anything positive one might try to shake out of Joe, or Beck, or Joe and Beck’s “relationship.” One of the most illuminating is the one he did with Devon Ivie at Vulture. It is worth reading in its entirety, but his response to why he took on a stalker role now, in 2018, stands out:

“Now that we’ve made the first season and I’ve been gauging reactions with critics and friends and viewers, I can say there’s a certain accountability—an emotional and psychological responsibility—that we hold the viewers and Joe to. It’s not this wildly irresponsible, escapist fantasy at the perfectly wrong time. I think the show came out at the right time, because any other time, we wouldn’t have had the courage at a social level and have conversations about why we’re drawn to it, but also why we know we shouldn’t reward it. We don’t want to reward Joe more than how he’s already being rewarded.

And as to whether or not he thinks that “viewers will cheer on this depraved man for being a self-described ‘fool in love’,” Badgley responded, “To me, a conversation I hope it starts is, What is it about the show that’s compelling? Why am I watching it? Am I enjoying it? Am I agreeing with Joe? What about all of this do I enjoy most? […] The degrees of which you’re enticed and excited by a show, there’s a lot more scrutiny in terms of the stories we’re interested in telling and consuming—the things we’re still charmed by and attracted to. Because Joe shouldn’t be allowed to behave the way he does. But only the viewer can decide.”

Shortly before Pretty Little Liars was set to air the last half of its seventh and final season, I flew out to Los Angeles to join my co-recappers at the show’s final PaleyFest panel. There were still ten episodes to go before the finale, and we held out hope that the series that had, in its bravest moments, been the most subversively anti-rape culture on television, might be about to burn the whole of Rosewood’s toxic patriarchy to the ground. The viewers who congregated in our comments section every week had certainly decided that that was the only way Pretty Little Liarscould end with integrity. Ten episodes! Ezra could STILL be A! His stalking could be revealed as the toxic danger it always was! But then we got to PaleyFest, and the entire theater was filled with fans whose only interests were the romantic lives of the cast, both onscreen and off, with the #Ezria endgame front and center.

Reader: #Ezria was endgame. And after giving fans like me a single fever dream of the show’s best character beating the daylights out of a jailed Ezra before letting his high-school sweetheart forgive him, the show was so proud of its own cleverness.

It’s 2018 now. #MeToo is only growing stronger as it complexifies, and as more projects like You get made by people who, like Badgley, Berlanti and Gamble, are entirely disinterested in giving bad men a path to not-all-badness. Joe is an outlier, but our willingness to soften the evil of his—fictional, patently obvious, easily condemned—violent obsession is the water we’ve been swimming in for too long. We can decide, as viewers and as people, to start demanding cleaner pools.

You airs Sundays at 10 p.m. on Lifetime.

#anti ezria #you #you series #lifetime's you #lifetimes you #rape tw #rape culture

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