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gojossocks · 1 month

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New Romantics

Gojo x reader 𐙚 Genre: fluff, comedy, hurt/comfort 𐙚 Summary: You are the bane of Gojo's existence, at least that's what he tells himself. You're just full of surprises and he can't help but be fully enamored by you. 𐙚 wc: 8.5k 𐙚 content: kinda enemies to kinda lovers, a bunch of high schoolers, gojo is soo out of touch with his feelings, it's in his pov, gojo is sooo down bad, PINING, badass reader, reader is in a clan too! reader smokes ! kinda screams im not like other girls in a less toxic way, jealous! gojo, heavy make out, very self-indulgent HAHA can be read as a standalone. 𐙚 a/n: my first ever series ! it's kinda long but i swear it's fun! :D

series masterlist | prologue

Arrogant. Insufferable. Patronizing. Apathetic.

The list goes on.

Granted, Gojo is nowhere near close to you. You were barely friends.

If there is one person in Jujutsu High that he likes the least, it would be you. It’s not like he resents you, it’s just that you represent everything he hated from being in a clan just like him.

From the way you strut your very expensive loafers to the way you shop to your heart’s content after every mission since your first year. Not to mention that you’re the all-perfect princess that your clan wants you to be.

“Gojo, please pass me the p-“

“No can do, shorty.” He chirps, giving you a shit-eating grin.

You glared at him before motioning Shoko to hand you the pen instead. “Gojo, you know you kinda look like someone I like.” You didn’t let him finish, crossing your arms before giving him a devilish smirk. “That cute little rat from Shrek.”

Gojo’s eyes widened at your insult but Suguru and Shoko were already snickering at him. He despises the idea that everyone seems to adore you, except him of course.

In the eyes of the higher ups and your family, you were the sweetest girl ever. Somehow, you’re always growing horns around him.

Everyone thinks that Gojo’s only messing with you whenever the two of you banter. Hell, there are some students gossiping that he has a crush on you (which he definitely doesn’t) But only Geto and Shoko know how much he actually dislikes you.

You seem so obedient with all your clans orders, following everything that’s asked of you, carrying the submissiveness and elegance a Y/L/N is supposed to have. And if there’s anything Gojo hated the most, it’s tradition. It’s why he’s in Jujutsu High in the first place, he wanted to change the system badly— and seeing you become the embodiment of the tradition he badly wants to change pisses him off.

Each time the higher ups get mad at him for not being in his ‘best behavior’, your name is constantly echoed around the meeting room. ‘You should be more like Y/L/N’ ‘Bring honor to your clan like how Y/L/N does.’

The only act of rebellion that you do is that your hair is dyed in a way that would make the higher ups frown. Your hair is recently dyed bright orange. He finds himself scoffing at the idea that you only get scolded because of a damn hair color. Gojo’s also confused with how cunning and sassy you are when there aren’t any prying eyes. Maybe you’re just doing that to seem cool.

Well, he just has to avoid you at all costs so you would stop annoying him and pestering his thoughts.

Unfortunately for him, Yaga has different plans.

“Satoru. Y/N.” Yaga announces when he was pairing up students for a mission but he doesn’t even get to finish because Gojo emits a loud dramatic groan from across the room.

“Why?” He whined, tilting his head up to create a dramatic effect. “It’s always been Suguru and I.”

“Satoru, you and Suguru need to be paired up with someone who's an expert in reversed curse technique. It’s your fault you haven’t learned it yet.”

Gojo crossed his arms and pouted. “Y/N can kiss my ass, teacher.”

“No thanks. I’m sure you don’t wash yours. I could smell you from afar, stinky.” Everyone else groaned as the two of you started another banter, forcing the meeting to be 5 minutes longer than usual— particularly because no one dares to cut off your argument (Yaga is too amused because of how much you put Gojo in his place.)

-.-

The mission didn’t go well. It was the first time you and Gojo worked together, and judging by your huge egos, your banter caused the both of you to get injured– you more so than Gojo. He was too reckless today, attempting to get a reaction out of you, which is why he got caught off guard when a 1st grade curse attacked him.

You pushed him out of the way, causing the curse to land a hit on your shoulder and right arm. Gojo stood still in his place in shock and your right arm was already injured when he snapped out of his trance. He obliterated the curse easily but the damage has been done.

You’re just lucky it was a minor injury but the fact that you did that for him, considering how you two were at each other’s necks for the longest time confuses him. It disoriented him until the both of you arrived at Jujutsu High.

When he got patched up, he stood up to apologize but you were nowhere to be found. He assumes you’ve already healed yourself due to your reverse curse technique ability but he can’t help the nagging feeling in his mind.

You were quiet today— well, ever since this afternoon. And no he’s not keeping track, he’s just not used to not hearing your snarky remarks and sarcastic comebacks at his attempts to annoy the shit out of you.

You’re just ignoring him, giving short insults in response to his own for the most part of your mission until you shielded him from that curse.

His guilt weighs on him heavily as he strolls around the school, waiting for Shoko and Geto. but really it’s just to see you. Gojo had noticed that you’re always gone the moment after your mission’s debriefing, sometimes even when you’re injured.

At last, he saw you just a few blocks away from Jujutsu High, towards the new 7/11 store that opened a few months ago. Gojo tilts his head to the side and furrows his eyebrows before deciding to follow you as discreetly as he could.

He stood near a house behind the convenience store where he could be hidden by a large plant beside it. He watched you grab a few things off the shelves and talk with the cashier, who happily greets you at the counter. You must’ve been here frequently.

1 can of coke. A box of cigarettes. Coffee.

Gojo never took you as the type who would visit a convenience store, as shocking as that sounds. He knows you’re rich. Filthy rich. You’ve always been pampered just like him, everything down at your feet because you’re the most powerful sorcerer in your clan.

Finally, you got out of the store. Gojo’s eyes widened like saucers when you went straight to his hiding spot.

“You know,” You called out, putting a hand on your hip. “It surprises me how much of an idiot you are despite being a notorious smartass. Your hair sticks out of the leaves because you’re so fucking tall, Gojo.”

“Heh.” He rubs his nape sheepishly, offering you a shy grin. “Didn’t think you’d see me.”

“Really?” You deadpan before walking away from him, back to Jujutsu High. He jogs up to your side. “Why are you hiding anyway? Spying on your rival or something?”

“Maybe.” He says lightly. It’s the first time any of you are talking normally to each other without malice. “Where are you going?”

“Somewhere.”

“Can I come?” He insisted, voice filled with excitement, leaving no hint that he’s gonna stop following you. A smile tugs at the corner of your lips.

He looks like a puppy, following you around. It’s an amusing sight, even to you.

“No.” You still kept walking, paying no mind as Gojo continued to follow you.

He feels an unusual giddiness at the thought that you hadn’t outright pushed him away because if you really wanted to, you would have told him to leave.

You lead him to the abandoned fence with the sign ‘DO NOT ENTER’ in the restricted building of the school that had remained under construction for years. It was the tallest building in Jujutsu High. You wordlessly went up to the concealed stairs at the obscured side of the building and onto the rooftop.

You sat at the edge of the building, your feet dangling off the edge. Gojo cautiously followed your actions, opting to sit next to you. He observes you as you unravel bit by bit and it’s the first time he’s seen you this relaxed and vulnerable—something that you granted him the privilege to see.

Rummaging through your paper bag, you retrieved a can of his favorite drink, Coca-Cola. As you handed it to him, a subtle surprise flashed across his face before he muttered a sincere ‘thanks.

You then opened your box of Marlboro red and lit up a cigarette, putting it in between your lips before taking a drag. Gojo observes you silently, his mouth agape. It was a revelation, discovering facets of you that he never anticipated. The act of you casually smoking, the ember casting a faint glow on your features, added another layer to the enigma that you are.

Gojo stays silent for a few more minutes or so until you notice his confusion, mainly because his eyebrows are almost meeting and he’s staring intently into the abyss.

“Are you broken or something? You usually never stop yapping.” You joked, bumping your shoulder to his.

“I didn’t know you smoked.” Gojo says dumbfoundedly.

You chuckled but his question was left unanswered. He forgets about it completely because his brain short circuits when you move closer to him, taking off his sunglasses and perching it atop his head. His radiant baby blue eyes are out staring at you intently.

You give him a soft smile and point at the view in front of you. “I love going here after missions, sunset’s beautiful here.”

“you’re being nice to me. Why?”

Again. No answer. You just hummed in amusement and no words were spoken afterwards.

The sun begins to descend, casting a warm, golden glow over the view from below. The city sprawls out beneath the both of you and the skyline extends into the horizon, bleeding in hues of pink and orange. Both of you sit in silence and when Gojo turns to look at you, he feels his heart beat quickening every passing second.

You look so breathtaking as the remaining sunlight kisses your skin, creating a halo effect around you. He suddenly doesn’t know why his palms feel so sweaty and he can’t manage to land a punchline to make you roll your eyes playfully at him.

“I’m sorry I got distracted. Thank you for saving me today. I didn’t know you’d be more…” He trails off and you cut him off with a laugh so pretty enough that his head whipped to turn to you.

“Kind? Human? You think I’m just like my clan huh?” You giggled and it shocked him how light you’re taking the situation.

You must’ve gotten used to it.

Just like him.

You stayed silent for a while before speaking in a serious tone. “Just because I don’t defy my clan’s ideals freely as you do doesn’t mean I’m not against it. When you’re a woman, you have to play nice, you know? I don’t have much of a choice unlike you. I know you don’t like me but I shielded you because you’re my friend.”

It was a wonder for Gojo that he’s the only one you’re not on good terms with out of everyone in Jujutsu High. Hell, he even overheard Yaga asking you to call back those Kyoto Students. It’s a big deal because those pesky Kyoto Students are usually their rivals but for some reason they’re always looking for you.

Then comes the Tokyo students, whom he never sees not greeting you or asking to hang out with you. Come to think of it, their expressions are always brightening up whenever you’re around and he thought that maybe they’re not that welcoming to him because he’s loud. But it’s you. It’s all you.

From the way you listen intently to your friends, and your saccharine voice asking them about their day or whatever that piques their interest. You care, a lot. You even saved him from that grade 1 curse, resulting in a painful wound on your shoulder. Granted, you had the ability to heal yourself but who was he even in your life? and yet you took the fall for him.

Gojo always hated that everyone seemed to look at him as that ‘six-eyed kid from the Gojo clan’. He hated the rumors about him just because of your last name— something that he has done to you since the first time you stepped foot into the school.

He swallows his guilt and sets his pride aside. He wanted nothing more than to make it up to you. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I’ve read you wrong. I thought you were just like the rest of them.”

“It’s alright.” You say nonchalantly as possible but the voice crack at the end gives you away. Gojo chooses to ignore that. This probably means a lot to you as much as it did to him. “I mean I get it, I actually admire your passion for changing the way our clans lead the Jujutsu World. I think you have the guts for standing up to them just like that.”

“You really think so?’ He scoots closer and gives you a small smile, his heartbeat quickening faster as he feels your warmth— your thighs almost touching.

“Yeah.” You grinned back, leaning your wait to his side before taking a sip from your coffee.

“So you think I’m pretty?” He looks at you and bats his eyelashes comedically.

You snorted in response and slapped his arm lightly. “I’ll throw you off this building.”

Gojo forgot the passage of time in those 4 hours at that rooftop. The sun had already set and the moon was gleaming, already dark out. He likes talking to you but he enjoys it more when you’re the one doing the talking.

You talked about your school life, hobbies, even your life with your clan– anything that comes to mind. Talking to you is as easy as breathing. You’re just full of wisdom, kindness, and wit.

Gojo found out today that he actually likes making you laugh, something about it makes his stomach feel funny. He also found out your preferences in coffee, food, and even music.

“Don’t you dare tell that spot to anyone, Gojo.” You took one of the sweets in his hands and popped it in your mouth before giving him a teasing grin.

You’re now walking side by side on the way to the dormitory. He insisted on walking you to your dorm even if his dorm is from the other side of the building.

A chuckle escaped his lips as he matched your stride. “Yes, Ma’am.” He replied with a teasing voice, earning a hum of approval from you. You finally stopped in front of your door.

“Thank you Goj-”

“Satoru.” He cut you off, his voice suddenly softening. As you tilted your head inquisitively, he found himself breaking into another warm smile. His cheeks ached from smiling too much this evening. “You can call me Satoru instead.”

“I like saying Gojo, especially when I yell your name when I’m mad at you.”

“Are you mad at me right now?” He wiggles his eyebrows, earning a playful roll of your eyes in response.

“No.”

His demeanor shifted then, almost like he’s surrendering his vulnerability to you. “Then call me Satoru.” You could almost hear the plea in his voice.

You sigh in mock defeat, your lips curved into a smile as you relented to his request. “Okay, Satoru.”

-.-

“You’re barely hanging out with me anymore, Satoru. Have you found my replacement already?” Suguru says, smirking as he watches his best friend’s eyes widened— a blush adorning Satoru's cheeks.

Satoru fidgeted with the hem of his shirt, causing Suguru to smirk at him. This behavior definitely did not go unnoticed by his best friend. Rarely did Satoru ever get nervous and Suguru was all for it.

“I was just busy, Suguru. You missed me that much? I didn’t know I am participating in a homosexual relationship with you—” He retorted, attempting to deflect Suguru.

But Suguru wasn’t one to let him off the hook easily. “Busy hogging Y/N?”

Satoru scoffed, giving him a look of disbelief. “Pffft. Nah. Of course not. We’re friends!” He insisted, though the way his gaze momentarily flickered away betrayed a hint of something more.

It has been nearly 6 months since that evening on the rooftop. Satoru and you have been attached to the hip ever since— or to phrase it better, Satoru has been attached to you ever since. Somehow, you’re a lot more similar than he thinks and because of that, you just know each other a lot deeper.

He also finds himself doing things out of pure interest like walking with you to the 7/11 store after mission just to talk to you til dusk on that rooftop, completely forgetting about his friend group’s game nights. Other times, he reaches for your wrist to encourage you to mingle with other people. He even accompanies you to your monthly shopping sprees in the city or in Shinjuku or Shibuya. He found out you love traveling and going to other places— it clears your mind, you had said. His closet is now full of clothes you helped him pick out, almost half of them you bought for him randomly.

It’s normal for friends to do that, right?

Seated side by side, Satoru and Suguru observed how you and Shoko practiced your reverse cursed technique. Satoru’s just munching on the sweets you bought for him while his best friend is clearly enjoying the view of how dumbstruck he is by you.

“Satoru,” he began. “You’re always following her around, it’s like you’re glued to each other already and you even fell asleep together during movie nights more than 3 times already. The only time you’re not with her is when you’re on missions with me or lunch. Are you already secretly dating?”

“Yeah, we’re not!” Satoru says swiftly and defensively, causing Suguru to raise an eyebrow at him. “Why are you keeping count anyway?”

“Sure, just friends.” Suguru insisted, attempting to downplay the whole situation but Satoru is already growing agitated with the way he’s being teased. Suguru gave him a devilish smirk. “What if she dates another guy?”

Satoru shuts up for a minute before muttering a quiet “… She won’t.”

“You don’t sound sure. She eventually will.” Suguru gave him an all-knowing smile and that’s when he knew that Suguru was being serious.

“Huh?” Satoru furrowed his eyebrows, casting an accusing look at his best friend. “How are you so sure?”

“Shoko said she’s going on dates.”

Oh.

So that’s why he’s been seeing you less, and you seem so distracted whenever you guys would hang out. Satoru thought that you were just busy but he didn’t think you’d actually go on dates with anyone. I mean, you’re still young right? Besides, who would be deserving of you?

Satoru didn’t notice that he was staring daggers into Shoko as you hugged her tightly. His expression darkened, jealousy flashing in his eyes before softening as he heard you laugh.

Pretty.

You look so pretty.

Since when did he find you incredibly pretty?

Sure, you were just friends but he doesn’t know why he has this urge to be with you all the time, he even wants to hug you like how you hug Shoko and Utahime. It’s just unfair that you only lean to him or give him a fist bump or when you fall asleep with your head on his shoulder.

He longs to hold you close, to see you every morning, and to be the person that makes you laugh all the time.

And when you noticed him staring you beamed at him and waved.

Oh, he definitely has a crush on his friend.

He didn’t know how much time passed but soon enough his day wouldn’t be completed without seeing you. He actually looks forward now to the meeting with different plans, particularly because you were there with him. And he basically lives now in your dorm room, candy wrappers everywhere and an array of his glasses sit beside your bedside table.

You talk about anything, even the random thoughts that come to his mind. You managed to know him better than Suguru knows him, which is surprising by the way.

But during the past week, he surprisingly didn’t see you— not even at the rooftop that you both had grown to hang out together. Suguru told him that he acts like he has a ‘stick up his ass’ but he was just worried about you. Have you grown tired of him? It all made him fidget like crazy.

Satoru caught a glimpse of your bright blue hair after your mission with Suguru. It was the kind of blue that matches his eyes. But he didn’t pay attention to it that much because of your sullen look.

He tried looking for you at the convenience store or your dorm but you were already gone so his last bet is at the rooftop, and there you are.

Your back is facing him with your feet dangling off the edge, you seem to be in your own world judging by the loud music he’s hearing. There are two packs of cigarettes by your side and a can of your favorite coffee. The sun is almost setting again and you’re just staring ahead while you hum along to the song you're listening to. The view seems so… sad. He felt something tug at his heart strings.

“You know you should quit smoking. if you keep it, you’ll never see me old handsome.” He tried to joke off before climbing the edge to sit next to you. He took off his glasses before wincing at the view, it was too bright so he decided to put it on again.

You giggled in response, he can tell that you saw right through him when you had a soft look in your face. The both of you hadn’t quite reached the stage where you’re entirely comfortable with opening up to one another.

So he tried to lighten up the mood once more, “It actually diminishes your ability as a sorcerer.”

“Says who?”

“Says yoda” He responded rhetorically before giving you a lopsided grin.

You nodded before taking out your lighter to light up your cigarette. “I only smoke when I’m stressed.” You confessed.

“Oh?” Satoru asks

“Yeah” You smiled at him, taking a drag from your cigarette, sighing when the nicotine hit your system.

“Then we’ll do something else, yeah?” He grinned at you mischievously before pointing his index. “Wait.”

With a quick rummage through his pockets, he brought out a handful of brightly colored lollipops, their wrappers crinkling softly in his hand.

“What do you have in mind?” You asked, raising your eyebrows at him.

Satoru extended his hand, offering you a lollipop with a playful wink. “Something sweeter?”

He gives you a toothy grin—his eyes sparkling when you take it, shaking your head at his enthusiasm.

“This is ridiculous,” You laughed, amused by his antics as you unwrapped the sweet treat and popped it into your mouth.

“It works, right?” Satoru asked eagerly.

He’s been searching for alternative ways for nicotine but he couldn’t find any gum in the 7/11 store. Lollipops are his last choice.

“I don’t know. Isn’t it gum that lessens the nic addiction?” You countered, bumping your shoulder against his.

“Lollipops are an alternative,” He says defensively, though a hint of concern crept up to his face. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, uhm. It just gets tiring sometimes, you know?” You responded, bitterness lacing your voice. “ All the pressure. Sometimes I feel like I’m not treated humanely at one point.”

“Hey. I’ll help you okay?” He placed a hand on your shoulder before offering you a soft smile. “When you’re with me, you don’t have to please those old geezers.”

“I appreciate it, Satoru.” You smiled back at him and he found himself melting in your gaze. The sun be damned, he could live alone in your presence.

You decided to leave when it’s already half past eight. Once he helped you to his feet you looked at him shyly, and if it’s a bit lighter out he would see a blush creeping up to your face. The walk back to your dorm is silent again, your hands just occasionally brush and Satoru wondered if you think about holding his hand too.

So when you let him in your dorm like you usually do. Satoru hesitated for a moment before he mustered up the courage and asked, “Is it okay if I hug you?”

He noticed you freeze and he feared that he might have overstepped, but before he could retract his words, you’re already nodding and he instinctively wrapped his arms around you. Satoru hears you sigh in the hug and he feels like he’s floating when you tug him closer.

Satoru prayed silently that you couldn’t hear the loud thumping of his heart because he finally has you in his arms and this is all he wanted. The warmth of your body against his, the way you leaned into his touch, it all felt surreal to him.

You’ve finally let your guard down around him and he noticed you gradually open up to him when you’re feeling sad or disappointed with something. Somehow he can’t bring himself to be like that to you yet, Satoru has this underlying feeling that you’d like him less if he starts showing vulnerability.

But to his surprise, he feels like you like him more because of that. There was this instance where he’s so overstimulated after a mission because he had to take off his glasses to work on his six eyes. He started to become dizzy and everything around him was a blur.

As he sat on the couch, feeling utterly overwhelmed and disoriented after the mission. Despite his attempts to mask his discomfort with a feeble smile, you saw right through him, as you always seemed to do.

“Satoru, are you okay?” Your voice cut through the haze of his senses, casting him a worried glance.

He managed a strained smile before the brightness around him intensified, sending a sharp pang through his temples. "I'm...I'm fine," he mumbled.

“Satoru, you’re not a good liar.” You stood up to turn off the lights, only leaving the night lamp on, a soft glow illuminating the entire room, making it bearable for Satoru. He’s rubbing his temples, trying to ease the pain.

He feels a weight dip in the couch, you gently remove his glasses and place them on the nearby table. Then, without warning, your arms enveloped him in a warm embrace, guiding his head to rest against the crook of your neck, fully covering his eyes.

Now that he’s calmed down, Satoru became acutely aware of the closeness between you. He’s lucky that you can’t see how his eyes widened at your action and how flushed he probably looks right now. Well, not that he can see anything right now.

But he chooses to ignore the loud beating of his heart again, passing it off as adrenaline rush from the mission. He allows himself to relax in your hold, with your fingers threading softly through his hair, all his worries and fatigue melted away.

Gojo Satoru had never known romantic love, let alone had a crush on anyone. So maybe it was just normal for friends to hold each other when one is tired or in need of comfort.

He loves to play with your hand when both of you are alone, while he babbles about something random and outright weird just so he could ignore how you make him feel. He tries to ignore the blush creeping up on his face when you listen to him intently, like every word that he utters matters, no matter how ridiculous it was. His feet always drag him to you because after a long day, all he needs is cuddles from you— oh, and your soothing voice too.

So really, what is this weight on his chest when Shoko announced that you’re going on a date?

Why is he pouting suddenly, assaulting his food as he stabs it continuously while you are gushing about what to wear or what to say when he knows you just look so beautiful even without trying?

Isn’t he enough?

Satoru buys you stuff, he takes care of you, he knows everything about you. He’s always hanging at your dorm after school, you’re practically like a couple at this poi–

Shit.

Maybe he does have a crush on you.

“I don’t know why you’d bother going on a date, Y/N. Guys are basically disgusting.”

“Says a guy.” You rolled your eyes playfully while going through your closet.

Satoru’s getting desperate now, why are you so adamant to get on that date?

Satoru felt a knot of desperation tightening in his chest as he watched you model your top three dresses. The first dress, adorned with vibrant florals, seemed to scream "first date" with its playful charm. However, you quickly dismissed it as unsuitable for the dinner date you had planned. Next, you slipped into a simple yet elegant black bodycon dress that hugged your curves in all the right places. It was hard to ignore the bitterness he’s feeling— you getting dolled up for a random guy.

But it was the final dress that truly captured his heart. As you twirled around to show him, the white silk fabric cascading gracefully around you, Satoru found himself momentarily breathless at the sight. Your awkward smile only added to the enchantment of the moment. You look so ethereal.

"What do you think?" you asked, swaying gently as you admired yourself in the mirror.

"I—" Satoru cleared his throat, his voice suddenly dry as he struggled to find the right words. "I think I like the other one better, the black one," he managed to say, though his heart whispered otherwise.

You somehow listened to his advice and wore the black bodycon dress that he suggested.

You looked nothing short of breathtaking, a literal goddess.

It was the longest 3 hours of his life, each passing minute feeling like an eternity as he anxiously wait for your return. Despite his best effort to distract himself by distracting Suguru, his thoughts kept returninhg to you— wondering if you’re having the time of your life with your date.

A small part of him wishes that the date didn’t go well and you’ll just spent the rest of the evening eating sweets with him all the while casting funny remarks on your date but he wasn’t prepared when you came home with mascara running down your face, your lips curved into a pout, and your eyes puffy and red from crying.

Without a word, Satoru stood up to engulf you in his arms, furrowing his eyebrows as you collapsed into him. “What happened, Y/N?”

He held you close, a surge of protectiveness flooding his senses as if an attempt to shield you from the world.

“He’s a misogynist, Satoru!” You cried, your voice cracking. “So full of himself! I thought he was kind and sweet but then he just started babbling about his clan and how good of a potential husband he is. As if I want to marry him!”

“Who was he anyway?” He gently wiped away your tears.

“Naoya Zenin” You sniffled, playing with the hem of his shirt. “I’m sorry I’m staining your shirt.”

“No, no.” He whispered, brushing away the strands of your hair on your face.

He took a mental note to research on the guy that made you cry later on. He realizes that the sight that he despises the most is the sight of you crying. He never wants to see you like this, ever.

“You said you like the beach right?” Satoru spoke out of the blue, his hand tracing circles on your arm. “Why don’t we go to one?”

-.-

And that’s how Satoru managed to spend all of his monthly allowance in a week. He booked a flight for the 6 of you (of course he wouldn’t want you to get the wrong idea, he insisted it’s a vacation for the six of you— him, you, Suguru, Shoko, and even Utahime and Mei Mei because apparently you’re good friends with them too)

So now here he is, about 200, 000 yen poorer. (help i don’t know if this is accurate) He wanted what’s best for you, so of course he’d spend a lot for you. It was all worth it though, when he sees you in a baby blue bathing suit that he helped you pick out. No it was definitely not because it’s similar to the color of his eyes. Blue just suits you well. (Hence, he’s also suitable for you)

“Satoru, you're going to catch flies if your mouth keeps hanging like that. Hey, are you also drooling?” Suguru pokes Satoru, who quickly straightens up when you look his way.

You gave him a sheepish smile, and he didn’t know what the fuck you’re doing to him because he feels a hard on coming his way. Shoko notices Satoru’s flushed expression but she just continues to smoke, clearly enjoying the show.

Eventually, everyone agrees to swim in the beach and try on the jet skis that Satoru had rented. What he didn’t know though, was the fact that you’re afraid of the ocean.

You were just hugging yourself while the waves crashed against your feet. The sight looks so cute but he wants you to enjoy it, so he uses his tactics to get you to join the group.

Unfortunately for him, you’re so stubborn to stay on the shore.

“I don’t want to go, Satoru! It’s not funny! I might get eaten alive by megalodon sharks or something.”

“C’mon! I’m really tall, I can protect you! Jesus, here—” His hand intertwined with yours, causing you to blush profusely. “Just hold my hand, okay? Hell, hold onto me if you like. I can carry you!”

“Your hands are uhm, really warm.” You commented, your voice tinged with embrassment.

“Oh yeah?” He smirks at you, his gaze locking with yours. “You want me to warm you up?”

“I’m gonna kill you.” You deadpanned.

Despite your protests, you ended up trusting him to pull you in the deeper part of the ocean. He even managed to get you to ride the jetski with him, the grip you had on his waist nearly suffocating him.

Satoru didn’t want to focus on the closeness between you two— your body pressed up against his back. If he does, he might lose control and drop the both of you into the ocean.

Meanwhile, the rest of the group is observing the two of you while sipping on their Margaritas.

“God, these two.” Mei Mei muttered as she rolls her eyes. “Best slow burn romance I’ve ever seen for free.”

If anyone would glance at you and Satoru, they would immediately think you’re dating, but you’re not and it’s frustrating to anyone within your radius.

Besides her, Shoko chimed in, her voice laced with amusement. “It’s so painfully obvious that they like each other. They were comparing hand sizes earlier for god’s sake.”

“Yeah, they should just fuck already.”

-.-

“Okay, so you kiss the person the bottle’s pointing at.” Utahime explained excitedly, albeit a bit drunk.

Everyone’s gathering around the crackling bonfire bonfire, the warm glow casting dancing shadows across the sand. It was now nearing midnight and you decided to play a game to end the night, which is spin the bottle. You spent all afternoon swimming and riding the jet skis Satoru rented.

Satoru felt a bead of sweat form on his brow as the bottle nearly lands you and Suguru.

He wanted your first kiss to be with him, as selfish as that sounds. He internally cursed Shoko for suggesting this game.

It landed on Shoko and Utahime, then Shoko and Suguru, then Mei Mei and Utahime.

His nervousness escalated as the game continues. Satoru was busy praying that the bottle wouldn’t land on you and anyone that he failed to notice when the bottle finally came to a stop, pointing directly at you and him.

“Ooooh” Utahime teased you, playfully poking your arm. “It’s you and Gojo!”

You laughed nervously, shooting a helpless glance in Satoru’s direction. He wanted to protest but his curiosity outweighed his embarrassment.

He wanted to know how it feels like to kiss you.

Besides, it’s just a kiss, right?

Satoru was stunned when you hurriedly pecked him on the lips before you retreated back to your seat. His mind raced as he tries to process the fleeting touch.

He just kissed you.

He couldn’t believe it when you looked back at him with a subtle smile playing in your lips.

The rest of the night was a blur for him, not because he was drunk. Satoru’s a lightweight and you know that fact, that’s why you were drinking for him.

While everyone else is playing games and talking about anything, his mind is still stuck on the fact that you kissed him

You’re his first kiss.

And he's yours too,

The gods had answered his prayers. But that was barely a kiss in the first place, do you even want it or were you just pressured to do it?

The thought stings. So he took a couple of sips from Suguru’s beer bottle until he was tipsy enough to not think about your lips on his. Yet, with each glance in your direction, the memory of your lips on his persisted.

-.-

Satoru helped you go to your room, even if he’s a bit drunk himself. Both of you were stumbling on the way to your room, but he thankfully he managed to settle you down on the bed as gently as he could. His attempt to withdraw was no use as you pulled him down with you, your grip firm yet gentle as you clutched his hand in your sleep.

Satoru admired your sleeping state, your hair sprawled out messily on the bed and you’re gripping his hand.

Your mouth slightly open as you slept, emitting soft rhythmic breaths but then you started mumbling something—it first it was incoherent until you mumbled in a slur, “I think you’re cute.”

“Huh?” Satoru questioned, even though he heard you clearly. He just want to hear it again from you.

“I said I think you look like a sack of shit. Fuck you.” You clarified, your words still slightly intelligible and laced with frustration and humor.

“Uh-huh.” He replied, feigning ignorance, his heart fluttering at your words. A soft smile tugged at the corners of his lips. Satoru brushed a few stray strands of hair away from your face, his fingers lingering momentarily against your skin.

“You know,” You started, your words slurring as you looked at him with half-lidded eyes. “You’re my first kiss. It was really good even if it just lasted a second. Thank you for today, toru.”

He laughed at your intoxicated state. You just look so adorable when you’re relaxed like this, the way your features softened and your laughter bubble up freely without a care in the world.

His gaze drifted to your lips, they seemed to beckon him to give in. He definitely wants to kiss you now.

Satoru’s heart raced as he struggled to fight the urge to lean in, knowing that it was a dangerous game to play. You decided to take matters in your own hands, shifting closer to him, your face close enough that he could feel you breathe against him.

“Please, ‘Toru.” You whispered, your lips barely touching. “Please kiss me again.”

Who was he to deny you that? To deny you?

When Satoru kissed you for the second time, he took his time to savor it. His hand reaches out to cup your cheek and brushes his lips against yours.

Your lips are warm and soft, he wanted to kiss it for eternity. Literally. He feels like in cloud nine as he kisses you deeper, slipping his tongue inside as you parted your lips, earning a soft moan from you.

Satoru weight settled against you, your bodies pressed together, breathing heavily as he connected his lips against yours once more.

You taste better than any candy he has ever tasted. He might just get addicted, drunk even.

“We shouldn’t—” He sighs into your mouth. You whimpered when he pulled away, your sweet voice going straight through his dick. “I don’t want to do this like this.”

“What” a kiss. “Do” followed by another, “You,” then another “Mean?” then another.

You were peppering kisses all over his face all the while carding your hand through his hair, tugging it a bit to earn a reaction from him. He almost lost it when you squeezed him through his boxers.

Satoru managed to pull away which he clearly struggled on doing when you pout at him, lips swollen and covered with saliva and you’re looking at him with those damned doe eyes.

He pecks your lips, both of your cheeks, and he places a final kiss on your forehead, afraid that if he does more, he won’t be able to contain himself.

Satoru wants his first time with you to be special, one that’s not hazy and easy to forget. He doesn’t want it to be a mistake, like what he knows the both of you would agree upon if you talked about it in the morning.

He wanted you to remember, have it engraved in your mind and body for weeks. Satoru wants you to want him as much as he wants you, and he can’t have that in a drunken mistake.

As you both drifted together in your sleep, he held you close, his arms wrapping snugly around your waist. It was the best sleep he had in ages.

-.-

Satoru’s fear came true when you pretended like nothing happened the next morning. When he awoke, it feels like last night never happened. Your side of the bed is fixed and the only proof that you were ver there was the ache he felt on his arm, where you were laying. Sure, he was disappointed but he’s contented with anything you give him. As long as he has you by his side.

The kiss never left his mind, though.

Not even when you reached third year and you drifted apart from him little by little. His feelings for you remains the same.

When Satoru is paired up again with you for a mission in the second half of your third year, you seem different from the Y/N he remembers. Particularly because you act like the exact person that he met in your first year.

Only, you look dull.

There are heavy circles under your eyes, your lips are chapped, and you look like you’re barely holding it together. Not to mention the only words that you utter to him are only about the mission.

He got too busy honing his skills with Suguru, but he would make time for you if only you asked. But it’s like you were gone, everytime he tried to look for you, you were nowhere to be found. It’s like he barely knows you anymore.

You started to ignore him at the beginning of the school year. He noticed that you dyed your hair back to its natural color and whenever he goes.

You became a ghost in a way, and he’s left with the pieces of you that you once had shared with him. Satoru desperately wants to reach you but how can he when you’re always away? He doesn’t see you in your meeting spot anymore, you’re not in your dorm, no one gets close to you. The only time he sees you is during meetings with the higher ups and your clan.

There’s an ache in his heart that only you can heal.

So before you can run away from him again, he followed your footsteps until you reached the 7/11 store across the street. So here you are scanning along the shelves of the store, even though he knows you already know what you’re going to buy. You still haven’t noticed him, which is confusing on his part. You must’ve been so tired.

Ah, an energy drink and a box of cigarettes.

Well, maybe you’ve started avoiding him too because of that. You know he’s going to get worried.

Satoru taps your shoulder, making you yelp. You were about to shout at him but your expression softened when you saw him. “Oh, it’s just you.”

It’s the first time in months where he actually saw you up close. He misses you so much it actually makes him dizzy. Satoru stares at you for a few minutes before you poked him.

“Hello? Earth to Satoru?”

He hasn’t heard you say his name too in a while. It felt like a breath of fresh air

“You dyed your hair back to its natural color.” He pointed out.

You hummed in response before going to the drink section once more. He observes you skimming the shelves even though he knows what you’re going to buy.

You’re just passing the time because you’re too anxious to talk to him but you aren’t really good at small talks.

So he does that for you.

As you mechanically scanned the shelves, your eyes not really registering the array of products before you, Satoru noticed the evident anxiety in your every move. Wanting to bridge the gap between you two, he seized the opportunity to make you smile.

“ah yes, there’s some items on sale here.” He declared, rubbing his chin with his pointer and thumb comically.

Your quizzical expression met his as you questioned, “I don’t see any.”

Undeterred, Satoru held up a familiar item – your favorite coffee – and flashed a grin "Here," he insisted, pointing at the non-existent 'sale' label.

You raised an eyebrow at him. "It's on sale. Look. It says, 'buy one take me.'" He gestured to the imaginary tag with a theatrical flair, his infectious grin inviting you to roll your eyes at him.

Finally, you gave him a smile and you threw your head back because you’re laughing so hard. “You’re ridiculous, Gojo Satoru.”

Satoru's heart skipped a beat at the sight of your smile, a warmth spreading through him at the sight of your genuine laughter. He likes seeing you smile. He’d do anything to see you smile. Even if it’s making a fool out of himself.

You grabbed his favorite drink and 2 onigiris then you dropped your energy drink. You walked towards the counter with him following closely behind.

After you’ve paid for the food, you led him wordlessly to the back of the convenience store towards the small parking lot and you sat on the ground.

“Besides, I can’t take you.” You broke the silence, handing him his coca-cola with a tremulous smile.

“What do you mean? You’ve already taken me for granted.” Satoru attempts to joke, but his playful expression dropped when you gave him a sad smile.

“I’m getting married next year after graduation.”

Satoru suddenly felt as if the ground had dropped from beneath him. The news struck him like a blow to the chest, leaving him breathless. He chewed on his lip as he took in your confession.

So that’s why you’ve been busy.

That’s why the higher ups paid no mind to all of his minor mishaps. His heart and mind raced, why so soon? Are you really going to let them take away your right to decide who you’ll marry?

“To who?” He said quietly, fidgeting with the lid of his soda.

“Naoya Zenin.”

A wave of disbelief washed over Satoru’s face. He had only met the guy once but he knows that Zenin is an absolute prick, not to mention a misogynist and a weakling. He even made you cry on a date. But he tried to relax his jaw and stay composed for you. “Do you want to marry him?”

“No.” Your answer was swift, the word laden with a weight he could feel in his bones.

“Then don’t.” Satoru says firmly. Both of you fell silent for a while, you being defeated with the destiny your clan have paved for you.

Could he really let you go just like that? To a Zenin asshat nonetheless?

He had always imagined that the two of you would eventually end up together, you have all the time in the world after all. So why does it feel like you’re already slipping out of his arms? He’s not even sure if you like him, despite what Suguru and Ieri keep telling him.

His train of thoughts were interrupted when you leaned your head on his shoulder. His arm instinctively finds its way around you, as if shielding you from your clan, from the world. “I wish it were that simple. Nearly everything I do for my family is never what I want. I simply can’t not do it, Satoru. I need it to keep my clan powerful and relevant. I’m the only daughter of my parents. I have to do my best to make them proud.”

“Well…” He stammers a little bit when your hand finds a way to play with his hair. “what about what you want?”

“Satoru, you know my freedom is limited." You laughed bitterly. “I’m still Y/L/N’s golden child and my clan’s on the brink of exclusion at this point. We’re irrelevant now and I’m not getting any stronger or richer. My family wants to take their place in the Jujutsu World. This is something I can’t escape from anymore even if I’d rather die than to be married to someone like him.”

“Why Naoya Zenin though?” He’s getting frustrated at this point. Why were you not fighting back? Satoru couldn’t accept that, you relinquishing your freedom for the sake of others. You have already done so much.

“He’s from a well-off clan and he’s strong.” you replied, a note of bitterness tainting your words. “My dad’s also biased with the Zenin clan so… I’m all set.”

Well, he’s a Gojo and he is the strongest. He is the inheritor of the six eyes anyway. Who is Naoya Zenin compared to him?

“Well then, can you marry someone else that’s also strong?”

You scoffed, your hand leaving his hair before you prompt to fully lean your entire weight on Satoru’s side. “Yeah, but I don’t have much of a choice in the matter. Who else would I mar-”

It’s now or never.

“Me.” Satoru blurted out.

“What?”

“Me. you should just marry me instead.”

Wanna read more?

#jjk x reader #gojo x reader #gojo satoru x reader #gojo x you #jjk x you #jujutsu kaisen x reader #gojo fluff #gojo x reader fluff #jjk fanfic #gojo fic #gojo satoru x reader fluff #gojo series #gojo angst

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nataliesfirefly · 2 months

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You and I Walk a Fragile Line - Farleigh Start x F!Reader - Part 2

a/n: omg thank you all so much for the love on part 1!! i really appreciate it, i didn't think anyone would even see it haha! anyways this chapter is a lil longer but i had a lot of fun writing it, so i hope you enjoy!

word count: 3.5k

part 1, part 3, part 4

warnings: slight angst, language

You and Venetia sit in one of the many living rooms, watching TV as she braids your hair. It’s been a few days since your arrival, and you were enjoying the break from the cruel outside world.

You planned on getting Felix to drive you down to your parents’ house in London soon, just to visit. You didn’t want to completely leave them in the dust, and you hadn’t seen them since Christmas break. If you were being honest, you missed them, and you have a lot to tell them about your second year at Oxford.

“So, when are you going to visit your parents?” Venetia asks as she continues plaiting your hair.

“I think tomorrow, actually.” You reply, glancing down at your hands as you pick at your nails, a nervous habit.

“Nice. Is Felix going with you?” She questions. “Yeah, I’m going to try to get him to drive me so I don’t have to take a cab.” You respond. “I’m sure he will,” She says. You nod softly.

“You know, I’m really glad Felix found a friend like you. Not some girl just desperate to fuck him.” Venetia says quietly, out of the blue. It seems totally random, but you needed that. A reminder for why you’re even here when you clearly don’t belong.

“You keep him in check, you know? You’re a really good influence,” She ties off your braid with a hairtie and you turn around to face her.

“Really?” You ask, blushing at the compliment. “Yeah. I mean it, love.” She grins and throws her arms around you, embracing you in a hug. You smile into her shoulder as you hug her back.

She pulls away. “But have you, like, ever considered dating him?”

You’re taken aback by the question. Have you? You try to think back on the past four years of knowing Felix Catton.

Sure, the first time you met him, you thought he was slightly attractive. But thoughts of dating him or even getting close to him romantically never crossed your mind.

“No. Never,” You shake your head. “Okay, what about… Farleigh?”

Your stomach drops and you shake your head aggressively. “No. No, we like, hate each other.” You chuckle slightly at the absurdity of her question. “Why, though?” She asks. “I see the way he looks at you. I don’t think he hates you,”

She must be insane. She’s imagining things, or romanticizing things like she always does.

“Seriously, Vee?” You shake your head and facepalm. “What?! I don’t know, you’d make a good couple.” She giggles and shoves you playfully. “No, we wouldn’t.”

“Who?” You flinch at the deep voice coming from behind you. You look over your shoulder to see Farleigh walking in with a cigarette in his hand, as per usual.

He sits down in a chair near the couch and takes a long drag from the cigarette. “No one.” You quickly say, narrowing your eyes at him.

“This guy I was telling her about, I was saying they would look good together,” Venetia explains, and you turn to look at her with wide eyes. Why was she lying? Maybe to test her theory, to see if Farleigh got jealous.

Farleigh scoffs. “What guy?” He asks, and you wonder why he’s intrigued. “Just one of my friends,” She waves her hand like it’s not important.

“Well, if he’s awkward and inexperienced, they’ll make a great match.” Farleigh says. You turn back to him and you can already feel your anger brewing. “Who said I was awkward and inexperienced?” You ask, confusion written all over your face.

“Like, everyone.” He smiles mockingly. “I’m not.” You cross your arms and look down, your face hot with embarrassment.

“Hell, even Felix was talking about it a few weeks ago.” Your eyes snap back up to him as he blows some smoke from his mouth. The words hang in the silent air for a moment.

“What?” Your voice comes out weak. “Yeah, he was saying he only hangs out with you because he feels bad. I mean, think about it. You come from a middle class family, you’re a broke scholarship student… Felix only hangs out with people on the same level as him. You’re just an exception, I guess.” He shrugs even though everything he just said has made your stomach begin to churn and your heart begin to race.

“Use that pretty brain of yours,” He points at you with his cigarette, smirking as you stare into space, trying to process what he just told you.

“Farleigh.” Venetia warns, shaking her head. She places a hand on your shoulder. “I’m sure that’s not true. Farleigh’s just a little shit stirrer. He gets off on that,” She rolls her eyes at him.

“No, it’s true. He has this savior complex. This happens all the time, you’re just the only one that happened to stick around. Like a little lost puppy, following him around, cause you have nowhere else to go. You just want this life so bad, don’t you?” He continues, his tone seeping with hatred.

You feel tears welling up in your eyes and you really don’t want to cry in front of Farleigh. Or Venetia, for that matter. You look around, then stand up and walk out of the room and up the spiraling staircase.

You can hear Venetia scolding Farleigh as you run up the stairs. You eventually storm into your room and shut the door, flopping onto your bed as you begin to sob.

Was it really true? Your whole friendship with Felix was out of pity?

No.

~~~

4 YEARS EARLIER

You couldn’t sleep. It was certainly past midnight, you figured. You had been trying to sleep for the past two hours.

Something about this mansion made you feel small and inferior, like you were an imposter. You were, in a way. You didn’t belong. It was taking you a while to get used to the exuberant settings and all the formalities.

As you stared up at your ceiling, you figured some fresh air might help. You grabbed a sweatshirt and threw it over yourself, slipping on your sandals and walking downstairs and out one of the back doors to the courtyard.

You could swear there was someone sitting on the steps. You squinted and you could make out a head of curls and a very small light, a flame. No, a cigarette flame.

You walked closer and grinned as Farleigh turned to you, flinching a bit.

“Why are you out here?” He asked, his face only illuminated by the ghostly moonlight. “I could ask you the same thing,” You replied, standing over him.

“Can I sit?” You asked. He nodded reluctantly. You sat down and hugged your waist in an attempt to stay warm.

You glanced up at him as he sighed, letting some smoke float out into the air. “You have a smoking problem,” You remarked.

“It’s not a problem. Most people smoke, you know.” He rolled his eyes. “At sixteen?” You asked. “Well, I’m almost seventeen. But yeah,” He nodded and took another drag from it.

“Well, I’ll be waiting for the day when your lungs stop working.” You shot back, grinning at your own statement. “Oookay,” He let out another long sigh as he looked out at the courtyard.

There was a long moment of silence between the two of you. You gazed up at the stars in the clear sky above you, like glitter scattered across a page of black ink. It was peaceful and delicate.

Eventually, Farleigh broke the silence. “You know, I like you a lot more when you keep your mouth shut,”

You rolled your eyes and glanced over at him. “I don’t even talk that much.” You observed the smile he was trying to hide and you nudged him playfully.

“I see you trying not to smile,” You giggled and the smile tugging at his lips broke out into a grin. You poked him in the arm. “You act all tough. Why?”

His smile faded and he looked back out at the long stretch of grass. “Not sure.” His voice was distant and uncertain. This was the one time he was ever going to let his guard down, you thought to yourself. Maybe it was because he thought you were just a one time guest that he would never see again.

You two ended up talking for about a half hour, discussing the most random things. But for some reason, it was one of the best conversations you had in a while. You had a lot more in common than you thought.

You think you ended up dozing off on the steps with him, but you woke up the next morning in your bed. You’re not exactly sure how that happened.

Of course, the next morning at breakfast he acted like he was offput by your presence alone, but you knew what happened the night before wasn’t a dream. It was real, and you knew that when you looked deep into his warm brown eyes.

~~~

The next day, you wake up early to make yourself look somewhat presentable, despite your puffy eyelids from all the crying you did the night before. You put on some light makeup and a white sundress.

Although you didn’t want to face Felix, you needed a ride to your parents’. You head to Felix’s room after putting some shoes on, knocking on his door.

“Felix,” You call out, knowing he’s probably still sleeping. With no response, you knock harder. “Felix!” You call, slightly louder than the first time.

You hear a loud groan and his bed shifting. “What, mate? Who is it?” He asks. “It’s me,” You reply, staring at the door expectantly.

You hear him shuffling around before his footsteps get louder and the door swings open. His brown hair is messier than usual and his eyes seem to be half open as he studies your appearance.

“What’s the special occasion?” He asks, leaning up against the doorframe as he tries to rub the sleep from his eyes. “Well, I actually have a favor to ask,” You respond, trying to ignore all the thoughts about what Farleigh said last night creeping back into your mind.

“What’s that?” Felix tilts his head curiously. “I was wondering if you could drive me to my parents’ house today. I wanted to visit. Just for the day, you know.” You smile up at him.

He seems caught off guard, and then his expression looks pained. “Oh, you know what? I totally would, but there’s this thing happening in London today. A lot of our friends from Oxford are going to be there, why don’t we just go to your parents’ another day?” He suggests.

You feel disappointment hit you like a tidal wave. Is this what Farleigh was talking about?

“Our friends? You mean your friends.” You correct him, suddenly feeling the emotions from last night spilling over. “Well, they’d be happy to see you, I’m sure-” “You can’t just do this one thing for me?” You interrupt him.

He looks at you, dumbfounded. “It’s not a big deal, why can’t you just get a cab?” His words cut through you. Not a big deal.

“You know what, nevermind.” You shake your head and hold up your hands. You turn and begin walking down the hall.

“I do a lot of things for you, you know!” Felix shouts after you, and you’ve never heard that tone of anger in his voice. He’s always been so kind, so considerate. He used to jump at the chance to help you with something. Now maybe you knew why.

On your way downstairs, you run into the last person you needed to see in this moment.

Farleigh stops in his tracks when he sees you. He looks up at you from the lower steps, probably noticing your distressed state.

“What’s your problem?” He asks, smirking lightheartedly like it’s another one of his jokes. “Farleigh, I don’t need your little comments right now,” You sigh in exasperation and continue down the stairs, pushing him out of your way.

“Woah, did something happen with you and Felix?” He turns around and follows you out of curiosity. “No. I just-” You realize a possible solution to your problem, but you would rather throw yourself out of a window than spend nearly two hours in a car with Farleigh.

“You can drive, right?” You turn around to face him once you reach the bottom of the stairs. “Yes… Why?” He narrows his eyes and peers down at you. “Okay, I was trying to ask Felix if he could drive me to my parents’ house today. He obviously said he was too busy for that, so… Can you just drive me?” You look up at him, crossing your fingers behind your back.

The corners of his mouth curl up in a smirk. “Sorry, you’re asking me for a favor?” He chuckles under his breath and raises his eyebrows. “Fuck. Yes, okay?!” You facepalm and wish you had never said something. Now he’s going to tease you over it for the next week or so.

He steps closer and leans down slightly, although you still have to look up at him. “Say please,” He says tauntingly.

You roll your eyes while heat creeps up onto your face. “Please,” You say quietly. “Sorry, I didn’t really hear it,” He leans even closer and you look away. This is why you can’t ask Farleigh for help. Ever.

“Please.” You hate how pitiful and desperate you sound. He seems satisified, so he steps back and stands up straight again. “Alright. Let’s go then, shall we?” You want to strangle him as you follow him out the door.

It’s sweltering outside. You groan. “Oh my God, so hot…” You shake your head and look up at the sun almost already in the middle of the sky.

“What do you say, should we steal his truck?” Farleigh eyes Felix’s truck and nods his head towards it. You know it’s wrong, and he probably will need it later tonight to get to London, but his truck doesn’t have a roof and it would be nice to feel a breeze…

Fuck it. “Do you even have the keys?” You ask, walking over to the truck. Farleigh holds up Felix’s keys to the truck. You cover your mouth and giggle, feeling like you’re back in fifth grade, playing a stupid prank on someone.

You open the door to the passenger’s side and hop in while Farleigh does the same, turning one of the keys and starting the engine.

“So, what was his excuse?” He questions as he puts the truck in reverse and pulls out of the gravel driveway. He stretches an arm over to place his hand on the back of your headrest, shifting to see over his shoulder. You watch him closely as he does all this.

“Uhm.. This thing in London today. Apparently a bunch of Oxford students are going. Were you planning on going?” You reply, biting your lip as he moved the truck into drive.

Recognition flashes across his face. “Oh. I told him I would go with him, but.. I didn’t really want to anyway,” He shrugs nonchalantly. “Farleigh Start, passing up the opportunity to go to a social gathering?” You gasp sarcastically.

“We spent a whole year with those people. I’d rather not go all the way to London just to see them after what, like, a few weeks?” You squint to look over at him in the sun.

“But you’re driving almost the same distance to my parents,” You raise an eyebrow. He takes a moment to respond, almost like he’s trying to come up with an excuse.

“This is different. You asked me for a favor and I didn’t have anything else to do. It’s not personal.” He glances over at you. His lighter curls that are usually hidden are now illuminated in the golden sunlight.

“I mean, you did have plans with Felix.” You look back out to the road stretched ahead of you and the trees with vibrant green leaves blowing gently in the breeze.

“Okay, do you want me to keep driving?” He glares at you and your remarks. You bite back the smile threatening to form on your face. “Yeah, yeah. Sorry.” You look down and adjust the skirt of your dress.

After about two hours, you see the sign that tells you you are about to enter the small town where you formed many fond memories.

“This isn’t bad,” Farleigh admits as he slows down to round the upcoming bend. “What, did you think I lived in the slums or something?” You laugh a bit at his remark before staring out the window and admiring the familiar surroundings.

“Maybe.” You can hear the smile in his voice. This is nice, you think to yourself. Maybe you two can actually get along.

“Okay, it’s gonna be the third house to your right.” You tell him. It’s a townhouse, not very big, but quaint and cozy. The walls are old brick and the windows are thin with white frames, and some shrubs grow on either side of the staircase leading up to the front door.

He pulls over next to the sidewalk and puts the truck in park. You undo your seatbelt and open the door, pausing to look over at Farleigh.

You notice he is still just sitting there and staring straight ahead, tapping his fingers rhythmically on the wheel.

“Hey, you can come along, you know,” You say softly. He looks over at you, his expression seeming a bit shocked. He raises his eyebrows.

“Really? You want me to meet your parents?” He smirks and you register his joke. “Oh, shut up.”

“C’mon, I don’t want you to have to just sit out here. This might take a while,” You explain, gesturing for him to come with you.

“Alright, I guess.” He shrugs and you both get out of the truck. You lead, walking up the stairs and breathing in the scent of the plants and the summer air.

You knock on the door and wait patiently. The door opens and you are greeted by your mother. She exclaims your name joyfully and embraces you in a hug.

“Honey, I didn’t know you were coming!” She pulls away to get a good look at you. You observe her. She looks tired. “I thought I would stop by,” You grin brightly.

“You just get prettier every day,” She hugs you again. “Who’s this?” She asks, noticing Farleigh, who is waiting below on the steps.

“This is Farleigh. I needed a ride, and Felix wasn’t available. This is his cousin,” You step to the side, allowing Farleigh to walk up and shake your mom’s hand.

“Oh, nice to meet you!” She shakes his hand, looking up at him. “You’re tall,” She laughs a bit, taken aback by his height.

Farleigh chuckles a bit. “Nice to meet you, Miss.” He dips his head politely. He’s so fake to adults, you think to yourself. “Ah, a fellow American,” She glances at you with a smile. “Yes ma’am,” Farleigh nods.

“Please, come inside,” She opens the door wider and steps back to let you both in. Farleigh has to duck to fit through the door.

You walk into the small living room and sit on your favorite couch. You see Farleigh observing all the pictures framed on the wall of when you were little. You hear him snicker slightly.

“Where’s Dad?” You ask. Your mom has already entered the kitchen and is pouring some hot tea into some cups.

“He’s at work,” She replies. “On a Saturday?” You ask. Usually your dad got work off on Saturdays.

“Yep. He’s been working hard lately, trying to make some extra money.” Your mom explains as Farleigh walks over to sit with you on the couch.

She walks over and sets the tea cups down on the coffee table. “Thank you,” Farleigh smiles at her and takes one of them. You follow suit.

It feels intimate, in a way. Farleigh meeting your mother and being inside the home you spent many years in. You aren’t sure if you could consider it a childhood home, since you only spent your teenage years here.

Your mom sits down across from you two in her usual chair. “So, tell me all about school. How were exams?” She asks,

You spend the next few hours just talking. Farleigh is surprisingly very conversational, and he seems to be enjoying himself. All three of you are laughing and sharing stories. Your mom even prepares a nice lunch for you two.

After today, you feel like you’ve learned more about Farleigh than you ever knew before. He’s almost bearable when he’s nice like this, and maybe it really is genuine.

“Well, we should probably start heading back,” You say, standing up from the couch. “Alright, sweetheart. I’ll tell Dad you stopped by.” She smiles softly.

And then before you know it, you’re back in the truck with Farleigh, beginning your journey back.

#farleigh start #farleigh saltburn #farleigh x reader #farleigh start x reader #farleigh x you #saltburn

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stxuxrniolochris · 2 months

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safari guide - Chris Sturniolo

Summary~~ You work at a safari and famous youtubers rent out the whole place and one catches your eye. Will it lead to anything?~~

It was early in the morning and I was tired. I normally took the night shift for the over night but there were some famous people who rented the whole thing out and I’m the only one who is experienced enough to give the full guide and was willing to be here for over 24 hours. I didn’t do any research on these guys but I know there triplets and that there youtubers.

I was at the front desk waiting, which felt like forever when I saw two people who looked very similar. And a guy with a camera behind them. I guess this was them. “Hey! We’re fore the safari overnight thing.” The first one smiled brightly. I smiled right back, I love people who are just happy and kind. “Hi! I assume your the Sturn-ni-olo triplets?” I said struggling to say there seconds name. “Yess haha I’m Nick Sturniolo and this is Matt.” He gestured to the other boy who was quiet. I smiled at Matt while taking a mental note on how to say there name. “The other one, Chris will be here in just a second, he’s getting the spare camera.” He continued still smiling. “Well it’s nice to meet you I’m y/n.” I said while handing them maps of the safari when a third boy walked up. They all look similar but you could tell differences about them. I got butterflies when I saw the last one, which I figured was Chris. He was cute, no he was hot. “Chris! This is y/n, y/n this is Chris.” I smiled at him and he smiled back. I could’ve sworn I saw him look me up and down quick, but I just brushed it off. “Do you mind be on camera?” Nick asked. “No not at all.” I smiled.

“So are you guys celebrating your birthday or..” I asked while we walked to the zip line. “No, 6 million subscribers.” Nick said smiling. My eyes widened, i mean I heard they were famous but not that famous. They chuckled at my reaction. “Well congratulations, that’s a lot of people.” “Thank you.” They all said collectively, which made me laugh. Chris kept looking and smiling at me, which I thought was cute.

I was walking a couple steps ahead of the boys, giving them space while they talked to the camera when I heard footsteps get closer to me, faster. I turned slightly to be met with Chris smiling widely at me. “Hey.” He beamed. “Hi.” I smiled back. “Soooo how long have you worked here for, you seem to know your stuff.” I smiled at him asking this, I was passionate about my job here. “Hmm 4 years I think, yea since I was 16.” “No way we’re the same age, 20?” He said playfully hitting my arm. “Yup, when’s your birthday?” I said while laughing. “August 1st, you?” “No way I’m august 2.” I smiled. “Well I guess we’re just meant for each other then.” He shrugged while smirking. I rolled my eyes while smiling, I could feel my face go red. “Ok buddy.” I replied making him laugh.

Whenever he wasn’t talking to the camera he was beside me trying to make conversation. I was glad because I was scared that they would be some like fake- rude out of touch influencers, but they were really genuine and kind.

We got to the end of the tour at the dinner tent. “Well this is the end of the tour, they have dinner made so I’ll be back when you guys are done.” I smiled. “Thank you so much.” Nick said at the same time Matt said thank you. “Thank you.” Chris said while waving. “Cant wait to see you later, miss you already.” He whispered, so only I could hear, while smirking. My face for sure went bright red so I just smiled, shook my head and walked out.

Chris pov

I just finished dinner and decided to go find y/n. I don’t know why I was attracted to her. I’ve never felt this interested in a girl since high school. After a bout 5 minutes of looking around I spot hee on the edge of a rock with her feet dangling off. She was smoking somthing, normally would be a turn off for me but the way her lips wrapped around the end just made me more attracted.

“Hey” I breathe while walking up to her. “Hi.” She smiled brightly while putting out her joint. I sat down and looked between us at her phone. Breathe by Lil Skies was playing. “No way you listen to Skies.” I smile happily. “Yes way, what’s so unbelievable.” She laughs. God I love her laugh. “No I just love him, favourite artist.” I nudge her arm playfully. “Really? Same.” I nodded as she hands me an airpod, I smile while taking it. After a few moments of us listening to the music she speaks up again. “I went to see at summer smash last summer.” My jaw drops “No way you were there.” “Yea front row and everything.” She smiles smugly. “Well I do you one up, I was back stage.” I smirk. “No shot i don’t believe you.” “Do you remember that one guy going on stage with him during ‘rage’.” I said while still smirking. She looks at me confused, then realisation hits her. “No fucking way that was you.” Her jaw slacks. I laugh “yup”

Y/n pov

I can’t believe this. So he was famous-famous. I suddenly felt confident. “Always thought you were my type.” I smirk while shrugging. “Oh yea?” He questioned. “Yea.” I replied while smiling. I couldn’t sworn he had gotten a lot closer over the last few minutes. It’s silent, but not uncomfortable. We’re just staring at each other. He’s slowly leaning in and so do I. What was just doing omg. It was unexpected but I liked it.

Next thing I knew his lips were on mine. It was a slow and passionate kiss but it got quicker as it went on. My hands found there way up to his hair, while one of his was supporting him up and the other on my waist which sent shivers through me. After a bit I pulled back for air and he rested his forehead on mine. I smiled and he smiled back. “You know your really really pretty.” He whispered making me smile even bigger. “So can I get your number.” He asks. “Of course you can.” I laugh making him smile. “Alright we better get back you have your night tour.” I say but not moving. He sighs and drops his head a bit then gives me a peck on the lips. “Alright pretty girl.” He said making me get butterflies. We exchanged numbers then walked back to the others. I couldn’t stop smiling and by the looks of it neither could he, causing to get a few suspicious looks from Nick and Matt. I didn’t mind though I was just happy.

#chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo x reader #chris x reader #sturniolo imagine #chris x female #chris x y/n #chris sturniolo virgin #chris sturniolo fluff #chris sturniolo imagine #matt sturniolo fluff #matt x fem reader #matt x reader #matthew sturniolo

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atlasofthestaars · 3 months

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[MK X READER] New Era - Chapter .015

first part | previous part | next part

NOTE:

Yet again we’re hoping for less than three weeks update time. We’ll see how it goes now haha ^^

edit: I lost track of time. I keep on forgetting when I last updated.

Rain got in as a love interest, which does alter the story a bit!

Reminder that I like to do canon divergence <3

Would you guys like a collection of headcanons I’ve done for requests on AO3?? I usually don’t post them there because they’re pretty short but I can put them all into one book that I’ll update.

Also happy 100k+ words! I'm. I'm not ready to figure out how many words this will all be by the end.

FROM THE EYES OF SOMEONE WHO ENJOYS A MOMENT OF PEACE

“Things are getting rough.”

You stood upon the roof of a building, staring down at the destruction of the city around you. Outworlders mobbed the streets, terrorizing the innocent Earthrealmers. To describe it as “rough” was an understatement. It’s been two long years ever since the first invasions on Earthrealm started. It’s been nearly a year since you’ve moved out to the city along with the others to fend off where it was the worst.

Most of Earthrealm’s forces were sent here, along with Raiden, to defend the city. But there were a few that were scattered around the world to help other regions. Fujin and your father, for example, stayed behind to help the monks defend the Wu Shi along with others of the White Lotus. You missed both of them dearly, only being able to communicate with them occasionally.

You haven’t been able to visit Kung Lao’s grave in over a year. You only hoped that he understood why.

“Are you planning on going out again?” Liu Kang’s voice spoke. His voice dripped with concern. You turned your gaze away from the apocalyptic sight to your dear friend. It was a much better view than the one below. His eyebrows furrowed as he stared at you. You sighed and nodded before turning your gaze down to the view below. As disturbing as it was, you felt guiltier turning a blind eye.

“I have to, I don’t think Raiden and Johnny Cage are enough to take down that extermination squad they’ve sent out.” You said, crossing your arms. A light breeze passed by, sending the smell of smoke your way. You grimaced at the acrid scent. No matter how long you’ve been here, you’re not sure if you’ll ever get used to it. Especially with how you’ve become so accustomed to the much cleaner air at the temple. “That, and Nightwolf said he would enjoy my help to help recruit the two Raiden has been getting information on.”

“New recruits?” Liu Kang inquired. You nodded gravely in response. A hint of distaste seemed to linger with his words along with some confusion. You didn’t blame him, ever since you’ve been out here, you’ve never really gone and sought out other help. Well, you’ve wanted to, but Raiden had been hesitant in dragging others into this whole affair.

As if they weren’t already. Still, you saw the logic within Raiden’s decision, even though it was flawed.

“Yes. Raiden says they have potential.” Out of the corner of your eye, you see your friend move. Was that a flinch? Or did he simply shift his weight? When you turned your gaze to check, you couldn’t tell. “I think it would be good to get more help. Our efforts are stretched out thin as it is.” You elaborate. Your hands go out to grasp at the concrete railing, gripping it tightly. You were certain by the time you let go of it, your hands would have the texture imprinted upon them.

“I still cannot believe that even after winning two tournaments and even I had nearly killed Shao Khan, it was not enough.” Liu Kang said, moving to stand closer to you. Bitterness coated his words. The distaste within his words felt strange, no matter how much more common it was becoming. You recalled back to the moment you had confronted him at Kung Lao’s grave. He was doing much better now, but you had felt like something had fundamentally changed within Liu Kang.

You could never truly pinpoint when that change happened. Was it when the invasions had started? Or maybe, was it when Kung Lao died? Part of you doubted it was either one of those, even if it sounded like it made sense. It was probably much earlier, maybe after Raiden had said Liu Kang was not the chosen one. Either way, he had changed. There was resentment that lingered in his soul, directed at Raiden. You could feel it with every interaction.

It worried you. Team morale was low enough as it were without the subtle drama between Liu Kang and Raiden. It was taxing enough to keep on a brave face in front of everyone, to pretend like everything would be alright. You didn’t know if you had enough spirit left in you to mend things together. With every day that you had to hide your dwindling confidence, you broke a little inside.

You should really talk to him, but you feared that it would lead to more issues. Maybe you were being irrational and over thinking things. You were all tired, maybe he was just irritated at how the world has essentially fallen apart.

Surely that must be it. Liu Kang was not one to dislike Raiden. If anything, he had been the one out of all three of you who had regarded him the highest. So it was illogical to think that he would suddenly dislike or even hate the god.

You were just being too worried. Maybe your logic has become weaker after pretending everything was alright for so long. That, and Liu Kang and Raiden were adults, or in Raiden’s case, more than an adult. They can figure out whatever dispute they had, if they even had one. They didn’t need you to coddle them. You had enough on your plate already, you could trust them.

Still, even with that conclusion, a pit of guilt formed in your stomach.

Warmth radiated from Liu Kang, a detail that you noted as you were drawn from your thoughts. It enveloped you in a sense of security. You closed your eyes, and for a moment you had nearly forgotten how terrible everything was. You felt safe. You only indulged yourself in the sensation for a moment before you opened your eyes and forced yourself to look at the destruction below. You didn’t deserve to feel safe and comforted in a world that needed your help.

“I can’t believe it either.” You replied after a long, long moment. You didn’t know what else to say, because what else could you say? It was unbelievable to you as much as it was to him how awful things were, even after all your efforts. It felt like a perpetual punishment for something you’ve never deserved. None of you deserved this, and yet you were all saddled with the heavy responsibility of it.

The two of you stood on the rooftop, looking out at the horrors of the world for a long while. It wasn’t as if you enjoyed seeing it. Not at all, but you couldn’t bear holding a smile for the others right now. Being alone with Liu Kang was better for your soul at the moment. None of you spoke, either not knowing how to or unwilling to break the fragile silence that settled over the two of you. It wasn’t until you realized how much time had passed that the silence had been broken.

“I need to get going now.” You informed Liu Kang. “Nightwolf will be waiting for me.” You turned away, moving to walk away from the man. Then, you felt him grasp your hand. His grip was firm, but not harsh. Just enough to keep you there, but you could still shake his grip off if you needed. But you didn’t. Your gaze trailed up from the grip to his arm then settled on his face. “Liu Kang?”

“I-” He began. His hand trembled. For what reason you had no idea why. Worried, you turned to face him fully. You placed a hand upon his, trying to quell whatever had caused him to shake. His hand settled between yours. His gaze lifted, and for a moment that stretched into eternity, he stared into your eyes. There was a fire that seemed to burn in his eyes, then it slowly burned away into embers. A soft flush appeared on his cheeks, and it seemed he even stopped breathing. You rubbed the back of his hand with your thumb, trying to coax the words out of him. His hand twitched before squeezing yours. “I just want you to stay safe.”

You could tell immediately that isn’t what he wanted to say.

“I will.” You said, reassuring him. You didn’t know what he wanted to say, you just knew those weren’t the words he wanted you to hear. But you held no judgement for the man. He could tell you what he wanted to say in due time. There was no need to rush him. You simply smiled at him. You lifted his hand and pressed it to your chest so he could hear your heart’s beat. “This heart of mine won’t stop beating anytime soon, okay?”

A shy smile spread across his lips as he nodded. His gaze fixated on where his hand was spread upon your chest, feeling the steady heart beat.You could feel how his hand grew a bit warmer, a side effect you knew from him getting a little emotional, whether it be from sadness, joy, anything really. You stood there, letting him feel the reminder that you were alive for a few moments more.

“Alright.” You said, gently removing his hand. Though the man was tough as nails, you delicately removed his hand. You moved it down to his side before sending him a smile. “I’ll be back soon, hopefully with new recruits.” You assured him, giving him a nod. “You better stay safe too, okay?” You watched as the monk nodded slowly.

You left him on that rooftop, feeling the warm gaze of your friend follow your form as you descended down back into the base.

Waking up today was the first time in a few days where you did not feel mired in heavy emotion. That was not to say you didn’t feel at least a little somber, but you at least did not feel desolate. You didn’t think your bed could handle another frenzied episode. Your fingertips traced the sewn up areas a little guiltily. You were still hoping that it was enough to not make others not mad at you.

The last thing you’d want is to ruin the apparent fragile relationship between Outworld and Earthrealm over something silly like this.

You felt a little better at the idea that perhaps not all of your memories would be so heavy and dark. You swung your legs over the bed, and you moved through your morning routine with some grace. It was a small boost of confidence, but one you sorely needed. Maybe it was a little silly, but you didn’t linger on that type of thought process for long.

As you stepped out of the bedroom, the last bits of your somber mood felt like they disintegrated when the sunlight touched you. You felt light, but there was still a slight chill in the air. It was hard to deny that you missed the warmth Liu Kang would give you within your memories. For a brief moment, you wondered if it would be silly to try and stand close to the god to feel if he had that same warmth.

Right on cue, the familiar taps of princess Kitana sounded from the far hallway. As both of you made eye contact, you shared a nod in understanding. Both of you met halfway, falling into familiar step as you walked by her side. It felt familiar. You weren’t sure if it was because you’ve walked by Liu Kang’s side for years, or because of the implications of your memories that you might have walked by her side before.

It felt nice to have a companion to walk with, either way.

“I noticed you went around with the actor.” Kitana spoke, a tinge of amusement in her voice. You couldn’t tell whether she was amused at the idea of the actor, or you being with the man. “Or, rather, he dragged you around.” She quipped. You held back an exasperated sigh at the memory. Even the princess had noticed that?

“Yes, he was rather…” You trailed off, trying to think of the proper words to express your feelings without making a bad impression of the actor for the princess. “...persistent.” You watched her eyebrows raise, and she nodded. The very hint of a laugh left her lips. You blinked, you weren’t certain if that was the first time you’ve heard her laugh.

“I can attest to that.” She replied, a tone in her voice indicating that she understood, even if just a fraction, how stubborn Johnny Cage could be. “The actor would not leave me alone the day after the banquet.” She peeked over to you, a thoughtful look on her face. “Forgive me for saying that I had the thought to smack some sense into him.”

“I take no offense, I understand just how he is like.” You said, a laugh escaping your lips. “He’s rather stubborn whenever he wishes, but he has a good heart.” You said, hand raising to cup your own cheek. Your smile slipped into something that felt sentimental before it bounced back into its more friendly state. You shrugged causally. “Even if it isn’t apparent at first.”

“Such praises are more comforting coming from you rather than his own mouth.” Kitana said, and you could detect what you could only describe as a teasing lilt to her voice. You smiled warmly at it, and you saw how her own smile seemed to grow a little less professional and a little more genuine. It was like watching a flower blossom.

“I can imagine so.” You laughed, bringing a hand to muffle it. You could imagine Johnny bragging about himself to the princess, and her probably being annoyed at it. Or amused. Either way, you had a feeling that the impression he left upon the princess was not the one he desired. “I just hope he didn’t irritate you. Like I mentioned, he means well.”

“While he is persistent as any other who attempts to court me, he is far less brutish.” Kitana reassured you, making you feel a bit better about his flirting, “And, if anything else, he is amusing enough to listen to.” You let out another chuckle at the image of Johnny thinking he was wooing princess Kitana when in reality she thought him closer to a court jester.

“Don’t let him know that.” You informed her, making her quirk up an eyebrow. “He’s an…entertainer in Earthrealm. His ego would swell with pride at the idea that he at least amuses you.” You couldn’t tell if it was the trick of the light or not, but you swore you saw her roll her eyes at the premise of Johnny Cage’s ego swelling even more.

“I’ll keep that information in mind.” Kitana replied, a light tone to her voice. With that, the both of you arrived at the entrance to the Great Hall. She turned to look at you fully, a small smile still gracing her lips. “Enjoy watching the match.” She said, and you granted her the same sentiment. She walked off, content with your response.

To your surprise, Raiden and Kung Lao were not around yet, leaving only the fire god waiting in the Great Hall. You looked around. For a moment, you considered the possibility that you had arrived earlier. You then were quick to doubt that idea due to your walk with princess Kitana. She seemed to be very diligent on routine, so you doubted that you both would have walked out early.

“Where is Raiden and Kung Lao?” You inquired, moreso thinking about the former than the latter. It wasn’t like you didn’t fret over Kung Lao, it was just that the lack of Raiden appearing was strange. While Kung Lao was typically early, it wasn’t as if he didn’t allow himself to take more time to himself. Raiden, on the other hand, was always early. Almost to a fault.

“I am not certain.” Liu Kang replied, his voice calm. You looked over to see him composed as ever. He caught your gaze, giving you a small smile in return. Subconsciously, you found yourself standing near him. You noted the warmth he radiated. It was familiar, the same aura he had back in your memories. “I would not fret over it, I am certain they will be here in due time.”

“I know.” You said, and yet you found yourself biting at a thumbnail. Your gaze was cast downwards as you contemplated over the whole ordeal. “It’s just…odd.” You admitted. “He usually would be here by now. By he, I mean Raiden. Kung Lao sometimes shows up simply on time.”

“Indeed.” Liu Kang nodded. You could feel his gaze still on you. It did not sear you, rather it felt gentle. It was much like how it would feel if you were to hover your hand over a candle to feel its warmth. “However, he is also not the type to show up late if it is an important event. I would not worry over it, it will simply cause more stress.”

“You’re right.” You replied. You felt called out at the last statement, but you knew it was for the best. After all, you weren’t the best at keeping yourself from not being stressed. It was supposed to be a friendly reminder. You took in a breath, straightening out your back before lifting your head up. You shouldn’t be stressed.

A silence settled over the two of you. This silence was different from the comforting one you were used to. It was tense, like a string being pulled far too taut. You supposed it was your fault, you and your busy mind. That, and you've been finding it harder and harder to try and separate the man you remembered the god in front of you.

“Have you been enjoying your stay in Outworld?” Liu Kang spoke. His voice was soft. It was like a droplet of water falling into a still pond. It was so deliberate, so delicate, how he broke the tension. You turned your gaze, and saw the smile he sent your way. It was bittersweet, the way he smiled. It was exactly the same way you remembered.

“I have.” You said. You weren’t keen on lying to the god, but you did feel a bit bad admitting it. You watched his face shift a tiny bit, but you couldn’t quite read if that had any significance. You turned away, finding it hard to see the way he smiled. “It’s very…different.” You told him. There was a hesitance to your words.

Certainly you were struggling to find the right words because you didn’t want to make it seem like you were suddenly forsaking Earthrealm, but there was also something else to it. You enjoyed Outworld, you truly did. But you weren’t naive to blindly praise it to a god. There were, for all you knew, probably a darker side to this place.

The memory of seeing Shao Khan for the first time still lingered in your mind.

“I’m glad you have been enjoying it.” Liu Kang replied, a pleased tone to his voice. You felt his heat grow a little more. Curious, you glanced over to him to see he has stepped over a bit. He was standing so close that he was nearly brushing your arm with his own. “I hope you continue to enjoy your stay here.”

“How has your experience been for this trip?” You asked quickly, not wanting the tension to settle back in the air. You forced yourself to look at him, meeting those glowing white eyes. You wondered, just briefly, what caused the warm mortal eyes you once knew to become godlike. Was this just a new world where Liu Kang was deemed a god? Or was there more reason to it?

“It has been lovely.” Liu Kang said, seeming satisfied with the eye contact you gave him. “Not much has changed since the last hundred years since Outworld functions differently, but something about this time around has been more…” There was a pause as the god seemed to search the air for the perfect word to say. “pleasant.”

“I see.” You replied, but the words felt like a lie on your tongue. You understood the joys of being here, but not the reason behind why it was more enjoyable. The little voice in your head told you that you should know though. And you felt just a little dumb for not knowing the reason. Still, you kept the smile upon your lips.

It was hard not to smile when Liu Kang was looking at you that way.

It didn’t take long for someone to show up. That person was Kung Lao. A broad smile spread across his lips as he sauntered in. As he laid eyes upon you and the god, his eyebrows raised as he looked around, probably searching for his fellow farmhand. When he did not see him, he walked over to you two and looked around once more, just to make sure.

“Where’s Raiden?” He asked, the confusion clear within his voice. You saw him cross his arms as once more, he scanned the room. He seemed more certain that his eyes were in the wrong rather than believe in the fact that his friend was simply not here. You supposed no one could blame him, you were just as unbelieving when you had arrived.

“He's just a little behind.” You excused, trying your best to not show in your voice that you had felt the same way. You didn't want to cause a fuss. “I am certain he shall show in due time.” You saw the fire god nod in agreement, which only made sense since he had been the one to share that same sentiment. At your reassurance, you saw Kung Lao shrug nonchalantly.

“I guess so.”

Some more time passed, and despite your own words, you felt yourself getting antsy with every minute that the diligent man did not arrive. Kenshi had arrived at this point, sending the group a curious glance upon noting the disappearance of the champion. You felt your intertwined hands fidget and clench and unclench. The stare that Kenshi sent your way did not help either. He could do very well with being less obvious.

Finally, to relieve your worries, Raiden finally showed up with Johnny Cage at his side. You sighed as you walked over to Raiden. Your eyes raked over the man. He looked rather unkempt. His clothes were a bit of a mess, and his hat was a bit crooked. He seemed to be nearly on edge. Your tongue clicked as you reached out, adjusting his clothes and hat for him.

“You had us worried.” You admit softly, making sure that the man was presentable. After all, at this point, many of Outworld’s citizens were keeping an eye on Earthrealm’s strong champion. You sent him a small smile, trying to reassure him since you could see how tense he was on his face. You watched as his mouth opened to say something, probably an excuse, but you laid a hand on his shoulder to quiet him. “Hey, you’re here, that’s what matters. Plus, you’re not late either. Don’t worry about it, it’ll leak into your fighting”

“You’re right.” Raiden said, nodding slowly. You could see the nervous energy in him seem to melt away. His eyes closed as he took a deep breath in before releasing it. A small flush covered his cheeks, perhaps still from how he had rushed to get ready this moment. When he opened his eyes, he sent you a sunny smile that warmed your heart. “I will do my best.”

“I know you will.” You told him. You watched as Kung Lao handed over a few items for Raiden and Johnny Cage to eat. You could always rely on him for that. Raiden seemed most grateful at the gesture. Chatter among the group seemed to calm the former farmhand, and it was not very long until the usual proceedings occurred.

“Young Raiden.” Sindel spoke, gazing down at Raiden. You were impressed with how she kept her smile seeming this warm and cordial despite the trend of her champions being taken down by Raiden no matter how the odds seemed. “You have…bested all the champions thus far with grace skill.” The empress commended, though there was almost a slight strain to her voice as she admitted it, it was very subtle, hardly noticeable. “Let us see if this next contender can match your might.”

Surprisingly, after being absent yesterday, General Khan was back to announce the next champion.

“The next challenger is another one of my officers, Motaro.” The general spoke, his voice booming and echoing off the walls of the hall. The sound of hooves caught your attention, and you turned to see a centuarian walk into the halls. His stride was confident, and he walked in with his arms crossed. His gaze was tilted down already, almost glaring down at Raiden who was forced to look up at his opponent.

Despite being an officer, he lacked the same armor that both Kotal and Reiko had donned, being fully bare on his upper body. Only a silver belt concealing where a horse body fused into a human body was present as any sort of protection, and even then it was more decorative than anything. That is, until you spied the back of his horse body. A metallic tail more akin to a lizard’s was attached there. Your eyes lingered on the curve of his horns, finding them interesting. It seems that centaurians were not a simply a human fused with a horse body as Earthrealmers would believe.

You believe you’ve seen this man before, but whatever feeling you had was much weaker than it was for any other person you’ve met. Maybe this man was in your life for but a brief moment…still, if he was, it was strange your brain even felt like it recognized him.

“Motaro is one of the centaurian’s finest.” General Shao bragged, seeming more enthusiastic to talk about Motaro compared to Kotal from the other day. Motaro lifted his head up to bask in the speech, an almost pleased look on his face. “With the tenacity of a bull and the might of one of the best warriors I have fought alongside, he is one of the best warriors in the legion.”

“Little man.” Motaro addressed Raiden curtly. He snorted as he continued to look down at the farmhand. His countenance returned to the look he had previously, but it was marred with a near sneer. His gaze felt nearly as sharp as his metallic tail did. You watched as Raiden took the comment in stride, bowing to his opponent, not fearing despite the size difference between them both.

“It is an honor to fight you.” Raiden told his opponent. You smiled at how polite he was to his opponents, even despite the lack of respect he was granted in return. Still, you wondered if that would remain that way in the future. While the thought of Raiden trying to smack talk his opponents was funny to think of, you hoped that nothing would hurt Raiden enough to take him in that direction.

Motaro’s fighting style was unique, suffice to say. His unusual body type, at least compared to what Raiden had normally fought against. He would charge in a brutish manner, using brute force to try and make the champion cower. Despite his bulk, he also maintained a lot of the battlefield control when Raiden tried to create space by being able to shoot projectiles from the metallic tail that you had spied earlier.

Still, even with the trickiness of the fight, Raiden’s wit led him to victory. When he needed to close the gap, he would teleport behind Motaro. Due to Motaro’s body, he struggled to turn around and face the man before he was met with lightning that was strong enough to stagger even him. Sometimes, Raiden would realize that he would have to match the reckless nature of Motaro and surge right at him, catching the other man off guard.

It was no surprise to you to see that Motaro eventually collapsed. Taking deep breaths, Raiden looked down on his opponent, an ironic twist on the dynamic before. Except for Raiden, there was no hint of malice or disrespect in his eyes. Only warmth glimmered within his.

“Thank you for the match.” Raiden told him humbly, a soft smile on his lips. You watched him reach out to try and attempt to help up his opponent instinctively. He almost seemed to flinch when he retracted it when Motaro denied the help. There was a mixture between a scoff and a huff from the centaurian, but ultimately he nodded before he walked off. You eyed the tail that almost seemed to drag on the floor, making a slight scratching sound.

“Congratulations on a well fought match.” You said, walking up to the once again successful champion. His smile seemed to grow as you walked towards him with a delighted expression. It was almost like seeing a child light up when you gave them the sweetest candy in the world. “Your technique is improving everyday.”

“I can only thank you, Lord Liu Kang, and the monks for preparing me for these moments.” Raiden replied, seeming to fall back onto his habit of being far too humble. You sighed and shook your head in disapproval of how he still didn’t consider his own skills into the fray. Still, it was endearing enough that you still smiled.

“Do not forget how much hard work you have also put in, Raiden.” Liu Kang reminded him, practically taking the words out of your mouth. You saw the god’s eyes flick over to you for a moment. Whether that was in reference to how you and Raiden had often stayed up late training or if it was a reference to how the god knew what was what you were going to say, you could not tell.

“Yeah man, you killed it out there, even with sleeping in.” Johnny hopped into the conversation. You elbowed the actor at the mention of him sleeping in, maybe a little harsher than you should have after seeing how flushed the champion’s cheeks became. You heard the American clear his throat. “You gotta give yourself some credit, Raidude.”

“I will try.” Raiden said, a bit of hesitance in his voice. While it did seem to partially stem from the insistence from all of you that he should be giving himself more credit, you could also sense the hesitance coming due to the nickname Johnny had called him. You would never admit it, but the fact that even the kindest of your mentees seemed to hold a slight disdain towards the actor’s nicknames never failed to amuse you. Yet, all the same, the enthusiasm in him wanting to succeed and work hard on whatever his criticisms were shone through.

After discussion with Liu Kang, like usual, your little group dispersed once more. For a moment, you swore you saw Kung Lao linger for a moment before he seemed to walk off with Raiden. You weren’t sure if your eyes were seeing things correctly, though. The man who did stick around was Kenshi, who soon found his way by your side.

“Ready?” The ex yakuza member inquired. His eyebrows were raised as he looked at you. The way he gazed at you seemed to tell you more words than he said, like how he was willing to wait for you if you weren’t. You supposed it only made sense, from what Kenshi had told you before, that the Yakuza would need to be subtle and communicate with others with even the slightest nod. Still, it was almost like a fresh breath of air compared to the others who seemed like an open book compared to the man beside you.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.” You told him with a confident nod. Then, the both of you set off. The difference between the walk to Sun Do with Kenshi compared to Johnny was almost night and day. While it wasn’t completely silent, you both only had some chatter here and there. It didn’t feel like small talk, and comforting silence filled the air otherwise.

You took this time to try and sneak some glances Kenshi’s way while he seemed to remain vigilant in staring on the path ahead. Out of all your champions, you considered the man beside you to be the one you understood the least. While you did attempt to get closer to the man through food, there was still a lot you had left to learn about him. He wasn’t as eager to dispense knowledge as the others, even if he wasn’t totally private about the past.

The reason why Kenshi was so vastly different in this timeline compared to the other three was beyond you. It was a mystery you’ve been trying to unravel since you’ve met the man. His backstory was completely different, and the lack of powers he had previously made you question a lot about this life. Different backstories weren’t anything new, per se, but it was still strange how…different it was. From your memories of the world before, you could conclude that perhaps his lack of powers was from how he did not wield Sento.

You’ve considered confronting Johnny about giving the swordsman the sword back, after all the actor had it for a rather petty reason, but you’ve never gotten too far in your plans. You couldn’t guarantee that talking to the actor would do any good, that man was rather stubborn, even in the face of reason sometimes. But there was also another reason you’ve held yourself back.

You were afraid that the sword would doom Kenshi to some kind of tragic fate. Your memories of Kenshi's previous story were hazy. You couldn’t tell if it was because you simply didn’t remember, or if it was because you never sought out to ask too much about it in the past. Either way, you were upset with yourself over it.

What you did know for certain, despite the lack of memories, was that in your previous life, he had been blinded due an incident that had something to do with the sword. Yes, he did gain powers that enabled him to be more than he was, but thought of losing his eyesight because of it and you potentially being the catalyst for that was more than you thought you could bear. It wasn’t as if you could warn Kenshi of the dangers, you’d sound insane.

Plus, you knew with the significance of that sword, your warnings might go unheeded. You had a sense that the ex yakuza member was selfless enough to be a martyr for the sake of his clan. The thought of him giving up his eyesight willingly squeezed your heart.

You were willing to craft a hat for Kung Lao, there were no flaws behind that as far as you could tell. But Kenshi’s weapon had a lot more weight to it. You wouldn’t know if the consequences behind that influence were the same, and if they would be less than the positives. There was a lot more to consider. Even if your decision that you would err on the side of caution, you still felt guilty that you could not help and provide the weapon that the man beside you craved.

“You’re glancing at me a lot, should I be flattered or concerned?” Kenshi inquired, snapping you out of your thoughts. You found that you were now meeting the swordsman’s gaze who held you with an intrigued look. With a scene that felt all too familiar, you felt your face heat up again. How you’ve let yourself space out and stare so obviously at your companion two days in a row, you had no idea.

“Flattered, I suppose?” You said, awkwardness soaking your words after you cleared your throat. You found yourself unable to maintain eye contact. Suddenly, the blue sky speckled with clouds seemed interesting. You felt your hand creep up to the side of your neck and press against it. Compared to the heat of your face, your hand felt like an ice cube.

You didn’t know what excuse to say, or if you even should. Obviously, you couldn’t tell him the real reason why you were taking what you thought was sneaky glances. If you weren’t telling the god who took you in about your memories, you weren’t going to tell Kenshi. The issue was that now, you had no idea what excuse to even say, and you put yourself in a rather awkward situation because of it.

Despite this, it seemed that you didn’t have to. You heard a chuckle, and took a cautious peek to see Kenshi looking at you with a gaze that seemed free of judgement. His cheeks were tinged with pink. It seemed whatever excuse he had gleaned from what little you said satisfied him. You weren’t sure what his assumptions were, but at this point, you figured you were far too deep to ask what he thought it was.

This was the consequences of your lack of sneakiness, you supposed. You didn’t find yourself too upset though. It seemed to make him pleased enough, and that was enough for you.

The rest of the walk to Sun Do left you feeling just a little lighter.

You both wandered into the city, deliberately leading him in a different direction you had gone with both Johnny and Raiden. You didn’t need to retread those places, you knew very well that you wouldn’t find the gift for Bi-Han you wanted in those shops. It would only waste precious time. You both went from shop to shop, peering at possible gift ideas with careful eyes.

Shopping with Kenshi was much different than the other two. With Raiden, he had been far too passive. He seemed to enjoy peering at the wares and agreeing with you more than scrutinizing the items. He4 didn’t provide any meaningful feedback in terms of whether the gift was appropriate or if it felt right. You didn’t blame him, you had a feeling he was far too elated by simply being in the heart of the capital. That, and he was the one who invited you to explore rather than shop.

With Johnny, he had a completely different taste than you did. He often criticized your choices for being too “tame” or not flashy enough. Perhaps it wasn’t the worst opinion, you had gone for subtler gifts, but the gifts he offered before the ribbon had all been rather…gaudy and definitely didn’t fit the Lin Kuei. It was almost a miracle he had spotted the ribbon and offered it up.

Kenshi, on the other hand, was almost like the perfect shopping companion. His tastes seemed to align with what you were searching for, so that was a far better companion than Johnny. Not only that, but he was very inquisitive and seemed to take every comment you said to heart. You couldn’t resist a smile as you realized this nature was the exact reason why you had chosen Kenshi in particular to critique your cooking.

“How about this?” Kenshi inquired, lifting up an intricate blue sash. You hummed as you leaned in close to peer at the fabric. You plucked the item that was draped over his hands, your fingertips brushing against the inked surface. You lifted up, studying the details. Then, you squinted at it more as you tried to imagine Bi-Han wearing this sash. Your nose wrinkled at the fact that you could not conjure up that image.

“I think we should stray away from accessories like this.” You concluded. “I don’t think Bi-Han would find himself wearing anything in accompaniment to his uniform.” You explained. The swordsman nodded as he took your words into consideration. You handed back the sash to him so he could place it back. With careful precision, he folded the sash before delicately placing it back into its former spot. Had you not known the man, you would have never guessed his dark past with how he carried himself in his actions.

You scanned the area, looking for other ideas while Kenshi also perused the store. Nothing in particular for the grandmaster caught your eye. This store was mostly filled with accessories, which was not the type of gift you could imagine giving Bi-Han. And yet, despite this, something did catch your eye. You walked closer to get a look.

It was a set of five rings. Though they looked initially plain, the closer you inspected them, you saw the beauty within the craftsmanship. They were intricately engraved, small patterns dancing along the metal. But the part that caught the eye the most was the gorgeous gems set into each of them. Each one had a different color, gold, pink, blue, green, and red. You marveled over the rings and were pleasantly surprised to see that the rings had some minor magic, so they could be resized on their own.

You looked and saw they had a special deal if you bought the whole set. Your eyes lingered on the rings for a moment more. How perfect this would be as a gift for your champions. A smile appeared on your face as you thought about it. You glanced back at the bag where you held your gold. Maybe if you had left over gold you could come back for these.

“I don’t think this place has what I’m looking for.” You told the swordsman, striding over to him. You stood slightly in the way of the rings. You didn’t think he’d notice them since it didn’t align with the idea you had for Bi-Han. But still, you wanted to keep it a surprise, just in case. Luckily, it seemed that Kenshi hadn’t noticed where you had gone.

“I agree, especially since this place is geared towards accessories.” Kenshi replied. He nodded in the direction of the door, his hand gesturing for you to lead the way. You did just that, managing to glance back at the rings one last time. You knew that if you did, Kenshi would be likely to notice with how much he’s been noticing your stares. Then again, you supposed that’s because your stares towards the swordsman were rather…obvious. Still, you wouldn’t put it past him to notice the little things.

And so, both you and the ex yakuza member were back on the streets. But not for long. This time, Kenshi pointed out a shop. At first, you hesitated, gazing at all the porcelain cups and teapots. You weren’t certain if these ceramics would be an ideal gift, but then your eyes landed on a particular teapot set in the window. You were so fascinated by it that you stepped inside to get a better look.

The teapot set in question was delftware styled. The blue painted ceramic was decorated to be depicting a snowy wonderland with snow leopards as the main focus. Your eyes studied the set carefully, marveling over it. It had some gold accents around the rim, giving it that extra pop. It even came with a little tea pet, a snow leopard. At first, you couldn’t imagine gifting Bi-Han such an item, but the more you marveled over it, the more you couldn’t imagine giving him anything else.

“With the way you’re looking at that, I think I did my job.” Kenshi remarked, walking up next to you. You smiled over to him, and you saw on his face a very pleased expression. He crossed his arms as he took his gaze from you over to the set. “It’s miraculous how cheap these items are here, back in Earthrealm, these would be worth a fortune.”

“I can’t believe it either.” You agreed with a nod. You eyed the price. It definitely was cheaper than you would expect, but the quality didn’t seem terrible despite it. Looking at it for a few more moments, you nodded once more. “I think this is the one.” You told your companion. Kenshi hummed, his eyes lingering on your decided gift before pointing to something else.

“While we’re at it, you should probably get him some tea.” The swordsman recommended. Your eyes landed on the displays of various teas they had. You walked over, noting how they felt similar in style to the dried teas you served for Madam Bo. On a closer look, some of the teas even appeared to be the same. For a brief moment, you wondered whether a long time ago Earthrealm had some of their teas imported here. It didn’t seem too far off an idea.

You scanned the various teas they had on display. For a moment, you considered picking a tea unique to Outworld. But then you considered how awful it’d feel to gift something that he might enjoy, but then never be able to savor once again in his lifetime. For that reason, you decided it might be better to chose something that he may be able to get at home.

One particular tea caught your eye.

You grabbed the box of the high quality tea, inspecting it. You had never considered this to be made into tea. You couldn’t help but to smile down at the box, too amazed at the fact that tea was a thing. You held it up to show to Kenshi who quirked up a brow.

“Parsley tea?” He asked, eyeing the box carefully. His voice sounded skeptical. You shrugged, but you already knew that the moment you had laid eyes on this particular type of tea, you were going to buy it. Something within you simply told you that it just fit him. That, and you couldn’t deny that you were interested in how it tasted. From the look Kenshi gave you, he seemed to know you were already set in your ways.

With a little pep in your step, you walked over to the Outworlder at the counter. After discussing which set you wanted along with the parsley tea, you soon found yourself back onto the streets with a very nicely wrapped gift in your hands. As you were walking back, satisfied with your findings today, you spied the shop with the rings you had looked at earlier.

“Could you hold this for a moment?” You asked the man. You swiftly handed him the gift and quickly walked off into the shop, ignoring the perplexed look the swordsman had sent you. You couldn’t blame him, you had said you only needed one more gift.

Stepping inside, you were thrilled to see that the rings you had your eye on were still there. Elated, you quickly asked the clerk for the rings. The centaruian seemed more than happy to oblige, giving you a few boxes to carry them in. You slipped the gold one on, eyeing how the light seemed to reflect off of it perfectly. The rest you slipped into your bag. You wanted to keep them a surprise for now.

Checking the money you had left, you were delighted to see you had enough to buy one more gift. That would be reserved for Liu Kang.

“Find everything you needed?” Kenshi inquired. He peered at you, his eye catching the sight of your new found accessory. You nodded, beaming happily at the man. You reached out, hands extended to take back the boxes. Despite this, you found the man pulled away from you, boxes clutched securely to his own chest. “It’s fine, I don’t mind carrying them.” He insisted.

“I don’t want to burden you with them.” You said, furrowing your brows. You made a reach for the boxes again, but the man simply side stepped your attempt. You sighed, placing a hand on your hip. “This is rather childish of you, Kenshi.” You chided, trying to see if you could convince him to give back the gifts. And yet, despite your words, the man was adamant. You sighed once more, shaking your head. “If you insist.”

“I do.” The swordsman quipped back, a victorious tone in his voice. You resisted an eye roll and made your way back to the palace. Once there, you led the ex yakuza member back to your room since he insisted on helping them carry them back all the way back there. As you finally regained the packages, you peered at him for a moment before opening your door. “Wait a moment for me, okay?” You asked.

You stepped into the room, placing your packages along with the other gifts you’ve bought. You removed the rings from the bags, admiring them once more. For a moment, you considered bringing them all in so you could give them at dinner time, but then you paused, remembering you hadn’t gotten Liu Kang’s gift quite yet and how awkward it might seem. Plus, you fancied the idea of giving the gifts privately. It would seem more personal that way.

“Thank you for waiting.” You said as you strode out. You placed your hands behind your back, hiding the little box. You supposed you were as sneaky as a toddler attempting to hide whatever mess they’ve made, because Kenshi quickly sent you a questioning look and leaned over to try and peek. “Here.” You handed over the box, scanning his features for his reaction. “A gift.”

“You didn’t have to.” Kenshi said, his voice shocked. He tried to hand back the box to you, but you pushed into his hands. After that, he relented. He scanned the box, probably trying to guess the present before he opened the box. You felt elated as you watched his surprised reaction to the ring. He lifted it up, watching with amazement as he slipped it onto his finger and it fit perfectly. “This is…” He trailed off, trying to find the right words.

“They’re beautiful, aren’t they?” You remarked. You held up your hand to showcase your golden ring. “I thought this would be the perfect present for all of us.” You then gestured to the red ring. “I chose that color specifically for you.”

“Why red?” Kenshi inquired, looking between the ring on his hand and you. You smiled at him, a small laugh leaving your lips as you looked directly into his eyes.

“Simple. I think it matches your eyes wonderfully.” You explain to him. A soft flush appeared on Kenshi’s face, and he appeared to have been stunned into silence. His mouth closed, then opened, then closed once more. Then, a soft smile appeared on his face as his gaze cast downwards to the ring on his hand once more.

“Thank you.” Kenshi mumbled softly. You grinned at him and placed a hand on his arm.

“No problem, I’m glad you like the gift.” You told him. “Now let’s go, I’m hungry.” You walked off, leading the way. You missed the fond gaze Kenshi sent you way, taking one more glance between the ring and you before following you.

Dinner went smoothly, and it was just as delicious as before. You were tempted to make plans to go shopping for some Outworld type of seasonings before you left so you could cook up some food the reminded you of this place. Maybe if you had left over money after Liu Kang’s gift.

It was yet another wonderful night in the garden. You basked in the moonlight as you waited patiently for the princess to emerge from the palace. You perked up as you heard the familiar sound of heels, and smiled as your eyes landed on the princess.

Oddly enough, there was not the more prestigious and refined look that she usually held. Her face held something that reminded you of the first time you encountered her here. She seemed…upset. You raised your eyebrows as she drew near. When she noted you in the spot, her face shifted, masking her previous attitude with a smile.

It reminded you of Empress Sindel’s smile towards Raiden.

“Are you alright?” You inquired, testing the waters. You saw her smile strain, like a string being pulled nearly too taut. Her hands, which had been folded in her lap, squeezed together as if she were squeezing out her frustration.

“I’m fine.” Mileena replied, her words clipped. You couldn’t sense any hostility within her words, but you could tell that asking about her situation would probably be unwise. You didn’t blame her, you weren’t that close after all. You nodded slowly, taking her attitude into consideration. “How have you been?” She inquired quickly, eager to divert the topic of conversation.

“I’ve been fine, I went and shopped more today.” You told her with a smile. You could read the signs of her frayed nerves and played along with her plan, changing the conversation away from herself. You saw her eyes dart to your hands. You looked down and saw the ring. You lifted your hand to showcase it, allowing her to get a better view.

“I can see that.” The princess observed. She leaned in closer, analyzing the accessory and how it fit on your finger. You saw her expression change slightly, going from a more fake look to a more genuine smile. She looked at it for a few moments more before leaning back and looking at you. “It suits you, you have a good eye.”

“Thank you.” You replied, staring down at the golden gem which shone so prettily in the moonlight. You smiled, still feeling the high of making a satisfying purchase. You paused, considering what to talk about next due to her slightly antsy mood. “How was your day, princess? I’m excited to see how you fare against Earthrealm’s champion tomorrow.”

“My day was alright.” Mileena replied, her eyes looking away into the garden. There was almost an empty tone to her voice, as if she were not telling the entire truth. She rolled her shoulders back as she cleared her throat. “I…” She began, then paused, her face scrunching a bit as she seemed to ponder on the words she would say next. “I am interested to see how I fare against him as well.” She replied, the same smile from earlier appearing on her lips.

You couldn’t tell entirely, but you could sense the aversion towards the topic of fighting. Was it that she was nervous? You scanned her. No, it didn’t seem so. But the reason behind her distaste towards the topic was one you weren’t certain of.

You couldn’t quite ask her about it either.

“What story would you like to hear today?” You inquired, quickly changing the subject. You saw her posture relax a bit, and what must be a breath of relief left her lips. Very subtle actions, but actions you noticed. You suspicions were definitely correct, she had some type of issue with fighting Raiden, or the topic of it.

“Anything light hearted would do.” The princess requested, the relief of the topic change showing on her face. You pondered on this, humming as you considered the various stories and movies you’ve seen. What could possibly cheer her up? You smiled as you recalled the first movie you saw and turned to face her.

“Alright, then how about this one?”

That night, you didn’t quite know why she was upset, but you knew you uplifted her spirits.

part sixteen

tagged - @bonezisded @lollipopin @simpxinnie @zhivaxo @koisuko

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jksprincess10 · 1 year

Note

I’d love to read Javier x DEA intern - you’re super innocent and just there to make coffees but Javier has other ideas 😉

So... here's a 2k fic for you? Haha ! Thank you, that was really hot.

CW: Javier is a pervert, public-ish sex, fingering, oral sex (f receiving), unprotected sex, dirty talk, dom javi vibes, innocent reader.

“Who’s the new girl?”

Javier had this look in his eyes. He was up to no good. It was evident by the way his brown eyes were following you everywhere you went. Steve sighed as he laid back in his office chair.

“The new ambassador’s daughter. I know what you’re thinking, bad idea.”

“I love bad ideas.”

You went around the office like a busy bee, taking coffee orders. Your dad had given you this opportunity. As you got older, you wanted to take part of his work that you found fascinating. You eventually wanted to be an ambassador yourself.

“Coffee, boys?” You asked in Steve and Javier’s direction. You had met them only yesterday, but you already had forgotten the name of the white man. You didn’t forget Javier’s name though. His beauty had struck you and his name was engraved in your mind. You had already heard from your colleagues that he had a… reputation.

“Please. Thank you, hermosa.” Said Javier between hits of his cigarette.

You went back to them with two warm cups, and Javier’s eyes followed your ass as you went back to your desk. Steve rolled his eyes and elbowed his partner in the ribs.

“Concentration. Pablo Escabor won’t be caught if you’re only thinking about flirting.”

It was a late night at the office as you were waiting for your dad to finish his work before you got home. He never wanted you to go back home alone, as you would have a target on your back with your dad as the ambassador. So, you waited.

Mostly everyone was gone, and Javier was just about to leave too. He got up and took his coat, before turning back to look at you.

“Want a ride?”

“Oh, yeah, I guess dad will still be here for a while. I’ll just tell him not to worry about me and I’ll meet you outside. Thank you, Javier!”

“Please, just call me Javi.”

You felt your cheeks flushing and nodded as you went to your dad’s office. Your dad just told you to get home safe and hugged you. You promised, got your bag and went down the stairs to meet Javi. You opened the passenger door of his car and took place in the seat. While he was waiting for you, the DEA agent had lit a cigarette and was smoking with the windows open.

“Thank you again, Javi, you didn’t have to…” You said shyly as he started the car.

“It’s my pleasure. You seemed tired.”

“Oh, I’m still a bit jet lagged, I guess. Not like my job is as hard as yours.”

You felt his warm hand on your thigh, and you looked away timidly.

“You’re still necessary, hermosa.”

He was concentrating on the road, not even looking at you as his fingers were stroking your skin. You gave him directions as best as you could, but all the streets looked the same to you. You were going in circles for a few minutes, so Javier parked the car on the side of the road. You felt really bad. But Javier didn’t, he had something else in mind.

“I’m sorry, I feel ridiculous.” You sighed, looking down at your feet.

“It’s okay. I’ll bring you to my place, you can rest and ask your father to pick you up when he’s done.”

“Sounds good. Sorry for the trouble.”

“It’s okay, I’d rather have you safe.”

You knew you’d be an easy target, and you did feel safe with Javi.

You smiled at him and relaxed in your seat as he drove to the building where he lived. The agent parked in his parking spot and got out first, opening your door for you. You thanked him and followed him inside.

After calling your father, you took advantage of Javier’s couch and rested on the soft leather material.

“Want something to drink? Water or whiskey?” He asked as he looked through his kitchen.

“Just water. I don’t really drink.”

He brought a glass of water in the living room and sat beside you. His eyes widened as he saw a lube bottle he had left on his table. You followed his gaze.

“Hm, what’s that?” You asked curiously.

“You don’t know what that is?” He laughed with a cigarette between his teeth.

“N-No, don’t laugh.”

He didn’t stop laughing, especially when you looked met worn laced panties on the ground. You finally realized what you were looking at earlier.

“I guess… I didn’t know the brand.” You lied.

“Go lay down hermosa, I’ll wake you up when your father is here.” He said to close the subject.

Javier pointed to his bedroom. You feared what you would find there if he had such personal things laying around.

“No, I’ll just stay here. Don’t worry about me. Maybe you should… clean your girlfriend’s panties off the floor.” You said as you looked away, not meeting his intense gaze.

Two fingers held your chin as he turned your head to look at your flushed face.

“No girlfriend here.”

He was clearly staring at your lips. Luckily, you heard the familiar honking of your dad’s car outside. So, you took that as an opportunity to leave. You still thanked Javier and closed the door behind you.

He liked that you weren’t so easy to get, or maybe, you just didn’t understand what was happening.

It was another late night at the office. It seemed like Javier had no intention of leaving; he had a pile of files on his desk. You took the initiative to bring him another coffee. He smiled as he looked up to you.

“Thank you. I wanted to talk to you, actually. Can you close the door?” He put out his cigarette, letting the small light die in his ashtray.

You obeyed, before sitting in the chair in front of him.

“I’m sorry for the other day. I didn’t expect having you over.”

“O-oh, it’s okay! I guess I knew your… reputation. Well… while I’m here, let me help you clean up your desk.”

You got up and were going to grab some files he wasn’t using to put them back. You barely saw him moving; he was already behind you.

“Don’t worry about it, hermosa.” His raspy voice brushed your ear, making you shiver violently.

You turned around to look at him. The agent took the opportunity to trap you between his body and his desk. Your breathing was getting laborious, as your eyes traveled from his unbuttoned shirt to the skin of his neck, to his plush mouth.

“You’re such a sweet, sweet girl.”

He was so close; you could feel the breath of coffee with a hint of cigarettes. He leaned in, his lips meeting yours before you could even register what was happening. When the shock passed, your let your fingers tangle in the small curls on the back of his neck as you brought him even closer.

The man’s hands found the curve of your ass to lift you up and sit you on top of his messy desk. You tangled your naked legs around his middle, bringing him closer, and lifting your skirt in the process.

“Not so sweet after all, hm?” Javier noted, whispering against the uncovered skin of your neck. Your head lolled back in pleasure, the littlest of his touch sending sparks through your whole body.

His fingers brushed the side of your thigh, making you squirm under his touch.

“Javi, please…” You didn’t even know what you were asking for. This man had the effect of drugs on you.

“I know, I know… I should’ve fucked you on my couch the other day. But you were so shy.”

One of his hands spread your thighs, as the other one sneaked under the remaining of your skirt. You whimpered when two of his fingers felt your wetness through your panties.

“I’m going to make you feel good. But you will have to be very silent for me, hermosa.”

You nodded silently. He pulled your panties to one side, and Javier’s lips stayed attached to your throat while his fingers moved expertly against your clit. You bit your lip to keep your moans to yourself. He worked in small and tight circles, focusing on pleasing you as fast as possible, so you wouldn’t get caught. The agent then distributed his attention between your small bundle of nerves and your tight walls, working on stretching you out for him.

Your forehead rested on his shoulder as you focused on your pleasure, your legs eventually shaking while you found heaven on his work desk. You did your best to stay silent, not even letting out a sigh.

As you were coming down your high, you heard the familiar voice of your dad calling out your name.

“F-fuck.” You fixed yourself quickly, and Javier went back to his desk as you came out of the office to meet your dad.

“Hey, sweetheart. I was looking for you, it’s gonna be another long one.” The ambassador said with a sorry expression.

“It’s okay, Javier was just saying that the boys are meeting at the bar for a drink. I’ll go with them if that’s okay, and he’ll bring me home. I… I finally memorized the route home.” You lied so easily; it baffled you.

“Okay, hun, be safe.” He pressed a kiss to your forehead.

Javier came out at the same time and assured him he’d bring you home safe.

You didn’t know how you made it to Javi’s apartment without jumping on him first and fucking right in his car. But here you were, and when the door closed behind your bodies, Javier held you up and brought you to his room. You looked down to see the flexing movement of his biceps.

“Didn’t know you could lie so well… Bad girl.” He said with a raspy voice as he let you fall on his mattress.

You pulled him on top of you with a shy smile.

“Shut up…”

In the coziness of his apartment, you could at least undress. You both got rid of your buttoned shirts. Your hands explored the golden skin Javi’s chest, while he slipped off your skirt and your panties. He stayed on his knees, between your legs, just admiring your beauty. You felt your cheeks burn under the intensity of his gaze.

“Javi, please… fuck me.”

“I’m not done with you, hermosa.”

Just like that, his head was between your thighs.

“Want to hear you now, hemosa.” His tongue lapped at your folds delicately, discovering how sweet you tasted.

You obliged gladly, not keeping back on showing him how much pleasure he procured you. Your mouth stayed open as you let out lewd noises. He parted your lips with his fingers and focused on your clit, alternating between sucking, and licking.

It wasn’t long until your juices wet his mustache and his plush lips, as you moaned his name.

He got back up and leaned in to give you a long and slow kiss.

“You’ve been so good, I’ll fuck you now.”

Javier took off his jeans and to your surprise, he wasn’t wearing anything under them. Your hand circled his member, giving him a few quick pumps. You stopped when he asked you to, and watched him attentively as he lined his member with your hole. You inhaled sharply as he bottomed out slowly. The rumors were true; he was big. He let you adjust, and when he felt like you were relaxed enough, he held up your legs and started thrusting into you. You were overwhelmed by his scent, the feel of his trail of hair under your fingers, overwhelmed by the feeling of him pounding into you.

Your back arched, asking to feel more of him. He leaned down and pressed a sweet kiss to your chin, his hips slowing down, but going deeper. You cursed when he found the right spot. He encouraged your pleasure, hitting that spot over and over again, until you were a moaning mess. Your walls tightened around his girth, keeping him in place. You felt his warm liquid filling you up. Slowly, he pulled out. He left a kiss to your forehead and got up to lit up a cigarette.

Your eyes couldn’t leave Javi. You were in trouble. Javier Pena was trouble.

#writing requests #javier pena #javier pena smut #javier pena narcos #javier pena x reader #javier pena x you #javier pena x y/n #javier pena x yn #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #narcos fanfiction #narcos smut

757 notes · View notes

meatonfork · 1 year

Text

Grim x platonic 141 HC’s

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- grim loves to play pranks on the guys. one time they stole ghost’s like 7 balaclavas and dyed the white paint pink. the guys got a kick out of that, and ghost wouldn’t let grim near his shit for like a month.

- when soap eats, you can always expect grim to be around him like a vulture. they will 100% steal his food every time.

- they often bug price in his office when they are bored. grim won’t leave until price starts blowing his cigar smoke in their face, making them cough as if they were dying.

- grim is very dramatic. loves to flop on the floor at any minor inconvenience.

- they pass out every once in a while. low blood pressure and poor circulation will cause them to just thump against the ground.

- the first time it happened was during a meeting, price was in the middle of speaking when ghost felt dead weight hit his arm. he quickly moved forward to catch you before you hit the ground. “WHAT THE FUCK???”

- you woke up a few seconds later like “oops! yeah, that happens. haha!”

- not funny. soap threatened you to tell them when you feel that happen again. he was scawed :((

- most days grim will flop on gaz’s bed and just clonk out there. the first time this happened he just stared at them before going back to whatever he was doing.

- grim is terrified of storms and needles. they have to be holding someone when getting stitches, or they will pass out.

- halloween is their favorite holiday, because in their eyes it’s more independent than christmas or valentine’s day.

- one time for halloween, they dressed up as price. the hat, the gear, even the cigar. they used fake fur to build a makeshift beard. they followed him around repeating what he said all day.

- he would never admit it, but it was hilarious to him

- sometimes ghost will catch them lurking in his shadow and he’ll ask why

- they pout and say they don’t want to be alone anymore

- ghost caves and continues with his day

- grim has a ton of stuffed animals they keep around, even gifting some r o the guys

- their favorite person to pester is gaz, strictly because he doesn’t get annoyed and tell them to fuck off

- one time soap hurt their feelings and wouldn’t talk to anyone, so ghost threatened him into apologizing to them so they would talk again

- price is their dad

- not biologically, but they genuinely see him as their dad after losing their whole family.

- sometimes, when they close off from everyone, they’ll find grim in one of their beds

- grim definitely has adhd

- no doubt

- they fidget

- a lot

- and when they do, someone is always there to stop it.

- one time during a meeting, you were sat next to ghost. your leg started bounding a million miles a minute. your shoe tapping against the chair leg, and ghost put his hand on your knee under the table to calm you down.

- grim plays with gaz’s fingers a lot

- when grim sits next to soap, he periodically taps his knee against their’s to remind them that he’s there.

- price will always ruffle their hair, and they HATE it.

- they secretly love it.

- movies nights are a must, per grim

- the team can’t escape it

- it always ends with grim drooling on ghost’s shoulder

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a/n: thanks for reading!! i hope you enjoy :) i’m working on more requests, so expect some maybe later today and def tomorrow :)

2K notes · View notes

lolamarlowe65 · 1 year

Text

Slash x reader

“𝓜𝔂 𝓹𝓪𝓻𝓽𝓷𝓮𝓻 𝓲𝓷 𝓬𝓻𝓲𝓶𝓮, 𝓶𝔂 𝓲𝓷𝓼𝓪𝓷𝓲𝓽𝔂 𝓭𝓸𝓾𝓫𝓵𝓮.”

“She can take my soul for the record, I don’t give a shit.”

one shot x reader

disclaimers : age gap (modern day slash), smut, thigh riding, unprotected sex, overstimulation, slash’s feral internal dialogue, cursing, smoking, rough stuff, grown girls stuff <33

4.6k words

AO3 link

iii];)’ .・• ✰ ⋆

y/n pov

I started to work as a staff member for Guns n’Roses a few months ago. Everything is great as fuck. The music, the job, the mood all around the band. In overall, everything is going well. My relationships with the band members were super friendly and they made me feel quickly as if I was part of the gang. But there is one thing. One person. Him. Slash. The moment I started my job here he immediately started teasing me. Nothing big. He tells me how much of a weird chick I am, he gives me smug smiles anytime he sees me as a way of saying “here comes the freak”. It has never felt as if he hates me or anything, it just amuses him to see me rolling my eyes to his puns. When I first discovered Slash, I admit that I developed a crush on him, you know the “rockstar crush”. I didn’t start to work here for that, but seeing him almost everyday was definitely a plus, well, if he didn’t drive me crazy with his provocations. It is a plus, yes, but I actually never thought of trying anything with him. I am a younger chick in whom he’d see no interest, apart from a way of having fun. I wouldn’t mind but that would be too complicated to manage with this job. Honestly, most of the time, his jokes make me laugh. I look at him with a pissed off grin and say “haha” or I stick out my tongue. It became a game between us. To the words of Duff “leave the girl alone man”. Apparently, Slash doesn’t listen to his best friend’s advice because he never stops. If we weren’t so different or if I knew him a little better I would say he’s flirting with me. “What a weird chick you are.” sounds like a love declaration coming from a man with such an attraction for creepy stuff. I do think about it as flirting sometimes. Mostly the days when I'm not in the mood for his jokes I imagine he’s flirting with me, helps me to not actually kill him. Being with a man like him wouldn’t bother me, actually, I would love it. He isn’t only hot and cool. He is interesting, passionate, peaceful but wild and genuinely beautiful. Beautiful on the inside and on the outside.

I am a person that’s pretty impulsive. When I feel frustrated, I will go for it, even if it means breaking my own promises. I try to hold myself back, but I have no desire to be perfect. I smoke, I have a high body count, anger issues, I keep doing the same shits over and over again and failing. But I also have skills that I don’t hide, I am strong minded and the way I see it : it has never really helped me with my relationships to people. Especially men. Labeling me “weird chick” is not original Saul. I’m sure most women are like me. But the world doesn’t see it I guess.

Today, I am not in the mood. We’ve got some problems with the gears, the venue isn’t ready and my hormones are working on me. Everything in me is boiling, every emotion. I can manage my emotions and impulses, hormones are not an excuse to be an asshole. But in this type of job, you have to take a lot of shit from people you don’t like so the band themselves don’t have to. Granted, they had to confront them in order to make their band what it is today but man, this isn’t easy. So, as for today, frustration will be my motto. One person pisses me off, I will send them to their grave.

As if it wasn’t enough, we’ve asked me to bring some guitar gear in Slash’s backstage room. I have purposely avoided him since the start of my shift, which is not easy when you are working for him. So far it seems to work, changing hallways last minute, not going to the crowded places and most importantly, his backstage room. From the glimpses of him I saw thorough the day I could tell you how beautiful he looked. He always does, but today it’s working on me. Which is frustrating me even more because I want to see him as much as I want to avoid him. His style didn’t change much from any other day, the sunglasses, the leather jacket, the hat and one of those shirts he has the secret of. It’s just that today is a day where my mind said fuck off to any type of morals I may try to have and I have to manage it as best as I can.

Before going into his backstage room, I made sure he wasn’t around. As I enter the room and leave his gear I can’t help but stop in front of the mirror before heading out. I contemplate my reflection, my eyes lingering over my body. The sadder part with those days is that I feel like I can’t and will never be understood or loved. This doesn’t bother me the majority of the time because it’s probably true and I have made peace with it a long time ago. My emotions are on the verge on days like those, so I let myself grief this fact. I wouldn’t say I look beautiful. I wouldn’t say I am satisfied with my life right now. Even if it is going slowly in the right direction. I let out a tear thinking of all this and whip it away quickly.

“- Looking good y/n, trying to cosplay a zombie?” Slash laughs.

Shit. Just what I fucking needed.

“- Not today Saul.” i answer, rolling my eyes.

He is standing right behind me, I can see his smug smile and I know his eyes are playful even if they are hidden behind sunglasses.

“- Wow, Saul? Did somebody give you food after midnight?” he jokes.

I turn around and look at him with defiant eyes. He needs to be teached a lesson. You don’t piss y/n off like that. Slash or not Slash. I don’t know what I am about to do, but that’s definitely going to be interesting.

“- Fuck you. Did it ever occur to you that your teasing game might piss me off?” i ask, sassily.

“- And what are you going to do about it?” he teases, again, big smile on his lips.

“- Well… I could do that.” i say in a provocative tone.

I slowly wrap my fingers around the sides of his sunglasses and remove them off his face. I let them fall on the floor. I want to stay defiant to his eyes, I want to keep holding his gaze. Being nice and clean, putting away his sunglasses nicely is not in my scenario today. There’s a look I have never seen on him before. A fire in his eyes. He holds my gaze as hard as I hold his. My breath becomes heavier as I approach my lips dangerously to his. I can feel his chest go up and down heavily. It’s working.

“- See. Pretty annoying right?” i smile.

Fuck. The swift of breath from his lips too close to my smile is actually going to drive ME crazy. What an ass. Making me feel this way. I must stay focused. He smiles back at me, hinting his approval. He understood that we entered a game and he is letting me play. Let’s see how much I can push him before I make him mad. He doesn’t say a word, waiting for my next move. I step back and close the door. I remark that Slash is studying me, looking at my body, his stare lingering over my ass and hips. At this instant, the teasing game turned into lust.

I breathe heavily, getting him to stare back into my eyes.

“- Careful where your eyes linger big boy.” i incite, biting my lower lip.

I approach him again, purposely making him take a step back in the direction of the couch behind him.

“- I could also do that.” i smirk.

I grab his crotch. His cock hardens immediately at my grip. My pussy gets wet at this simple touch. I didn’t know how much teasing and keeping a person on edge could make me feel that much desire. Or maybe it’s Slash. Probably both, this raw, pure, lustful desire. Everything in my head is torn apart and I question everything. Did he start teasing just for fun or was he trying to hold back everything I am about to unleash right now. Was it his way of making me a part of his life? And why didn’t he make me understand this obvious desire we have for each other earlier. Fuck. I need him.

I hear him groan and get even bigger in the cup of my hand. I push him on the couch. A big guy like him wouldn’t flinch from a light push from me. I’m not weak but I did not push him very strongly. He let himself be pushed, waiting for my next move. His legs are spread and I take a seat on one of his thighs.

“- I don’t know what you want from me Saul, but I will take what I want. Is that okay?” i ask languorously.

He doesn’t talk, he just bops his head with an audacious smile, answering affirmatively to my question.

“- Good.” i chuckle.

I dispose my lips on his neck. Biting slightly making sure to leave all the spots my lips went to stay wet with my taste. I start kissing his face, all the spots I can, expect his lips, leaving him on edge, teasing him. As I do just that, I start rubbing my clothed cunt against his thigh. I feel him gasp, both for the frustration on his lips and in his pants. I leave a mark in his neck, right under his ear only for me to go above and nip alternatively on both his ears.

“- Mmmh… Fuck.” i curse in between moans.

I rub against his thigh ruthlessly, my thrusts are short but harsh and my pleasure grows more and more. My back arch and I end up using my hands to support myself on his shoulders. I throw my head back and I hear Slash groan. A frustrated groan, making me even more thrilled. Knowing that at this right moment I own him just for my only pleasure makes me even more horny. His thigh is so comfortable, imagining how his pretty cock must be almost brings me to my release.

It’s getting harder for me to hold on. I don’t want him to touch me, I want to keep him on his limit so I take it upon myself and rub as good as I can on his leg.

“- Saul! Fuck that’s good!” i cry.

I pant heavily and I feel my jeans getting soaked with my cum. My legs shake and squeeze around Saul’s leg and my cheeks are all blushed with my effort.

I won.

Slash looks like he is about to explode. Good for him. He looks mesmerized and embittered. That’s what you get for being a little bitch like that. A wild mess lost in his thought. What a magnificent view.

I kiss his lips very quickly and lightly before smiling while putting myself together. Even if this kiss was quick, I had never felt such soft comfortable lips.

“- See. That’s what you get for teasing me.” i playfully say, getting off him.

Saul stays still on the couch, his eyes on fire and I walk toward the door, happy to have pushed his limit, ready to resist his game.

Slash pov

What a fucking bitch. A beautiful mess, out of breath and still taking away mine. She is lighting herself a cigarette. Like she is gonna get away with this. I can’t hold on anymore, I have to make her mine. I have to have her all for me, I have to fuck her and make her come again but this time around my cock. I have to make her my girl.

Truth is, ever since she started working here she drives me crazy. She is one of those women that don’t give a shit. She has no mind about being perfect, she’s completely detached from reality, she does her things and she doesn’t take shit. She’s a weird chick some might say, but I absolutely adore creepy shits. Her wilderness and emotions are always so honest. I have held back for the past few months because she’s much younger than me. I’ve never felt as if I was worth dating a chick like her and I was sure she would say no. I’d rather tease her and at least have some kind of interactions with her than avoid her all the time.

Before she could open the door I push her against the wall. Her eyes look like a lost puppy. I take the cigarette out of her mouth and throw it in the ashtray on the table. She had all the time she needed to get away, but she stayed here. Back against the wall still high on her orgasm. Watching her pleasuring herself on my thigh was both a torture and delight. I wanted to touch her and make her come with my hands. She refused and left me on edge. The only thought in my head was among the lines of “What a bitch, I want her.” I come back to her and put one of my hands on her waist pushing her more against the wall and the other in her neck, my fingers playing with her jawline. I breathe close to her mouth for a few seconds, teasing her as she did. She seems to take frustration way harder than me because she looks pissed and starved, and this makes me even more out of my mind. I take her lips hungrily, I kiss her, starving for her tongue. Fuck, I shouldn’t be so crazy about her but here she is, moaning in my mouth begging for my tongue to play with hers. Such soft lips. So tender and matching mine perfectly.

“- You shouldn’t have done that y/n. I will not let you get away, so if you wanna go, go now.” i say to her, drunk on her scent.

She moans as I take the back of her thighs and wrap her legs around me. Still against the wall, I wait for her answer while kissing her collarbone.

“- Hmmm… do it.” she almost whispers.

“- Do what?” i tease.

“- For Christ’s sake! Do it! Fuck me fuckhead!” she laments.

“- Your desires are orders madam.” i answer her playfully, smiling in the crook of her neck.

I go back to her mouth, mixing my tongue with hers while I tease her thighs with my hands. I can feel her wet cunt on my lower stomach and her laments desperate to deal with this ache. To hell with it. She deserves it. I rip her thin shirt away to expose her tits to me. She will take my shirt. Fuck it. She doesn’t wear a bra and I can access her perfect tits immediately. I lick and bite them mercilessly, teasing her more and more. I can’t wait to enter her but I just want to hear her beg for me.

“- Saul… mmhm… stop.. mmh… fucking around… mmhm… and fuck me already!” she pants, out of breath.

“- I fucking love the way you curse all the time.” i tell her, biting the skin around her nipple.

I remove her pants and underwear. What a pretty sight. What a pretty cunt. I could make this my meal for the rest of my life. I’d never starve. I put her back against the wall. I want to show her how bad I’ve wanted her for the last months. I want to show her what I wanted to do to her every time she’d pass over me in a hallway. How hungry, how bad I have been craving her. I unbuckle my pants and let my dick free. Her eyes got bigger and she opened her mouth to the view of my hard cock. She looks at it like she got to have a taste of her favorite meal and it drives me crazy. I give her no time to comment before I push her head against the wall kissing her lips as I bury myself deep inside of her. She’s so fucking wet. Fucking hell. I know I’m stretching her out. I can feel it. I love it.

“- SAUL!” she gasps, gripping my back. “It’s so fucking big!”

“- Shh.. I know you can take it. Scream if you need to baby, I don’t give a shit if we hear us.” i answer, moving in and out of her.

I pound into her fast and hard, making her moan each time I shove myself deep into her. She’s so damn hot. She feels so good. That’s it. I’m taking her with me. Her face becomes a mess as she cannot seem to catch her breath correctly. Between kisses, her mouth stays wide open, sometimes, she bites her lips, letting out small whimpers. I love it rough and she’ll love it too. I can tell she already does.

“- Saul… aahh.. that’s fucking good aaahh don’t stop.” she screams.

See? Told you. I give her one last hard pound and lift her up grabbing the back of her thighs. I’m still inside her, my cock hitting her deep every step I take. Her little whines are a melody I am more than happy to work on. She tries her best to hold onto me and makes my hat fall as she moves her arms around my neck. Whatever man, I have been wearing this hat since ages, her, it’s the first time. As I throw her on the couch my dick slips out of her, leaving me without her. What kind of fucking witch is she? Seconds out of her and my cock already misses her cunt.

“- Turn around.” i command, removing my shirt.

She smiles defiantly and executes herself. I waste no time and shove my dick back into her as I push as deep as I can. I keep her head buried in the couch as I mercilessly pound into her. I hear her whimper in pleasure. My mouth next to her ear, laughing, biting it slightly.

“- This is what you fucking get when you’re being a bitch.” i whisper in her ear.

I continue my rough pounding leaving trails of kisses all along her back. I know I’m about to come, how can I not when I’m banging her? Trust me though, I’m far from being finished with her.

“- AAH SAUL! I’M COMING! PLEASE! COME IN ME! FUCKING DO!” i hear her scream, muffled on the couch.

Just what I fucking needed. Hell yeah I will my love.

Not long after I come into her pussy still pounding as I feel her legs shake and her cunt getting tighter. She fucking came all over my cock. Just like I said I wanted her to. I grab her by the hair and bring her to my chest. She turns her head to me. She’s a mess with her hair all over her face, sticking with her sweat. Out of breath and panting for air. So beautiful. So fucking beautiful, as usual. I give her a wet sloppy kiss, removing the hair out of her face.

“- Good girl.” i tease into her ear.

I put her back on my side and lift her up again to sit her on the table. I still need her. I’m hard again like a fucking horny teenager. She makes me into this sex depraved slave succubuses love so much. She can take my soul for the record, I don’t give a shit. She can be the devil, a witch or an alien. To me, she's first and for all the woman I want, the one I desire and I want to be with. Bitch, witch, baby. Something like that. And in her eyes, I’m probably just the fucking dumbass who dared touching her. That’s okay. I’m cool with it. If she always looks at me the way she does now, I’m cool with it.

Sucking on her tits, I shove myself into her again, immediately pounding her hard. Her legs shake uncontrollably so I lock them up around my waist. She lies down on the table playing with her tits, moaning and biting her lips.

“- Oh my god that’s so good. Aaahh… Continue.” she cries.

Putting my hand around her neck I bring her back to my chest. Her back arches frantically at every movement I do inside her. So that’s why she was lying down. I slow down and move little by little inside of her to see how she moves her ass and back around on the table.

“- FUCKING STOP THE TEASING ASSHOLE… AAAH” she whimpers.

She puts her arms behind my neck and lets her nails sink into my back. With her head buried in the crook of my neck I laugh and go back to my hard pace. Hearing her little cries makes me the happiest man on earth. I hold her with one hand on her back and the other in the back of her head. At this instant, it’s like she is all mine. Like she could break if I let her go.

“- There babygirl, take it all, like the good slut you are. I know you love it, don't hold back.” i kiss her forehead before leaving her head to fall back in my neck.

“- AAH FUCK YES THAT’S GOOD! I’M SO FF-UUL IT’S SO B-BIG!” she whimpers.

Her fucking voice drives me crazy. She bites and teases my neck violently as a way to show me she is still holding on. I’m sure my back is all scratched and marked by now, but i’ll let her take everything off of me if it means I can get to fuck her brains out like right now. I groan, knowing I'm almost there, when I feel her legs squeeze around my waist and her back arch I know she’s also about to come again. I embrace her tightly as I screw her as fast and deep as I can.

“- AH…MHH… HAA… HM… SAUL… YES! YES! YES!” she comes screaming my name.

I come in her again. She stays like that for a few minutes. Panting, all naked into my arms. I hear her broken voice laugh slightly.

“- So that was it… all this teasing.” she laughs again.

“- You have no idea how much I wanted to fuck your brains out, teasing me back like that was not a good idea.” i answer.

“- Oh it definitely was a good idea. And I’ll do it again.”

“- No need to. I’m not letting you go. You’re mine now.”

She moves around to be able to look at me in the eyes. Her arms still wrapped around my neck and her cheeks still all flustered.

“- I am?” she smirks.

This smirk could make me fuck her again right now. Yes she is. I have been tortured by her presence for the past few months, now that she’s here I'm not letting her go. I move around to get a cloth to clean her up with. When I go back to her I catch her shy smile as she turns her head on the side.

“- Okay.” she almost whispers, smiling slightly.

I can’t resist taking her chin to turn her head to me to kiss her deeply. There was a chance it was a pure unique act of lust for her. A chance she’d left and say “never again”. A chance I’d taste her pussy only once with my cock, trying to forget how much I want to eat her out. A chance she’d realize I was older than her and she’d get away from me. Looking at the clock on the wall I realize it’s time for the show. What a great fucking day. Fucking the chick I’ve been thinking off non stop since months, playing on stage and then get back to fucking her. The two things I love the most. After the show, I’ll steal her away and get her back with me. What the fuck is the manager gonna tell me anyway? They don’t need her as much as I do.

“- Show’s gonna start baby. Let’s get the job done.” i wink, my hands resting on her waist.

I take my shirt and put it on her. God she looks so hot in my shirt. She should only wear that. She gives me a doubtful stare.

“- It’s okay, I’m hot anyway.” i smile.

Her gaze is playful as she goes down on her knees. She licks her lips and grabs my penis in her hand. She kisses slowly the tip of my cock. I take a deep breath and her smile goes feeble.

“- See you later big boy.” she brightens up again.

Bitch.

There she puts it back in my pants to only leave me my belt to put back on. Bitch. She’s lucky I can hide my bulge behind my guitar, she’s lucky we don’t have time. On the floor, I see her grab her thong that she slides into my pocket.

“- Eye for an eye.” she teases.

This isn’t fair. I give her my shirt, she gives me a piece of art. Putting her pants back on, I light her cigarette again and put it in her mouth.

“- Always finish what you started.” i say, getting her hair out of her face.

“- Whatever.” she rolls her eyes. “Go do your job.” she stops. “Play as good as you always do.” she smiles, cupping my face in her hands.

“- Coldness with a tinge of consideration, exactly what I love.” i kiss her neck, before letting her slip away to get out.

I hear her laugh evaporate as she disappears in the hallway. I know she’s playing around, she stays composed like her legs weren’t still shaking seconds from now. How fucking cool she is.

The show went great. When I get back backstage I see her there, cheering the end of this awesome show. She put on a leather jacket. After the show, we generally answer interviews and talk with some fans to end up having a little party all together. Not as wild as in my 20s, but still not very well-behaved. Tonight, I don’t give a shit, I have other businesses to attend. I greet the guys and let them know I’m going.

“- Where you going man, something to do?” Duff asks me.

I arrive in front of y/n and lift her up over my shoulder. She gasps and laughs.

“- Yeah man, something urgent! Might take me a long time, might kill me. Just in case, y’all can start looking for a new lead!”

“- Dumbass.” i hear her answer, which makes me laugh.

I fucking love her bitchy tone.

I admit. She won.

y/n pov

Here I am, being carried around like a sack of potatoes by the man I thought I could never have. I had the best sex of my life and something tells me I’m about to get it again. If I knew, I would have teased him back a long time ago. He said I was his.

In truth, he’s mine.

iii];)’ .・• ✰ ⋆

“Face of an angel with the love of a witch”.

A/N : i wrote that when i was horny as hell, clearly came from my delusions, i love the idea of slash having this feral internal dialogue because he just wants you so bad! enjoy loves <33 (slash if you read this i’m ready for your love ;))

#slash fanfiction #slash gnr #slash fic #slash smut #slash #slash x reader #slash x you #gnr smut #gnr x reader #gnr fanfiction #gnr fic #slash imagine #guns n roses #guns n roses smut #guns n roses fanfic #guns n roses fanfiction #velvet revolver #saul hudson

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wwry2018 · 7 months

Text

Curse of Yes/No

My name was Jace, I was 26 living in the suburbs of Sydney, it was getting close to the end of my year at uni and my girlfriend Sherry wanted me to go out and have some fun. She slid over a flyer for a local festival. A Halloween festival.

We don’t really celebrate Halloween in Australia. But as time has gone on it seems to be more and more present. Decorations being available to buy in stores, kids talking about trick or treating and festivals and street markets advertising Halloween themes.

My friends wanted me to go to one that was on tonight in town. It promised Fall themed food, spooky rides and classic Halloween fun. I couldn’t decide if I wanted to go or not. Usually I let others decide for me. And it was hot as hell. Fall themed food wasn’t what I was looking for when it was 35 degrees c in the shade. But as I said I wasn’t big on making decisions.

So my best mate Ricky said he would pick me up at 8pm and we would go and have a look. Sherry was working late and said it would be good for me to get out and try to relax. Being a third year accounting student it didn’t come easy. She said go relax just don’t let Ricky get you drunk.

He picked me up at 8 as he said and I climbed in his car, “Jesus man, for a doctor you don’t exactly promote healthy lifestyle do you?” Smoke was billowing out of he car “it’s my one vice, I know it’s not healthy but hey I’m addicted and I enjoy it” “is that your professional opinion?’ ‘Shut the fuck up and let’s go” we drove towards the fete.

As we walk into the festival it has this classic spooky horror theme of a gypsy caravan.. There are rides and haunted mansions to walk through but mostly it’s to theme. Ricky spots a fortune teller carriage at the end of a line. ‘Perfect” he says. ‘This is what you need. Go get your answers as you can never decide for yourself’. I um’d and ah’d if I should do it or not. Ricky just said ‘exactly” he put $50 in my hand and pushed me in the tent yelling”I’m going to hit on the hot carnie, have fun”

I tumbled inside and looked around seeing a man lounging in a chair having a drink. ‘I’m so sorry’ I said gathering myself.

‘My Friend was being pushy, literally and wanted me to have my fortune read, but I don’t know if I should or not. It’s not a very me thing to do, I mean it sounds like fun and all but, you’re here I don’t see an old crone and a crystal ball anywhere. Haha ‘

Old crone and crystal ball. Well that’s not a very nice stereotype!’ The man said. ‘ but I wouldn’t expect a ginger accountant named Jace to come for a reading in Australian either, so I guess we are even.’

‘How do you know my name? ‘ I said in shock and backing towards the door.

‘We are not all old crones or female, that was just to show you I’m the real deal. Com now sit. Ricky has paid for your thirty minutes, let’s not waste this.’ He says as he walks behind me and guides me to a chair across from him. ‘Hold out your hand, palm up’ I do so in shock and almost trance, I’ve never been a big believer but I always believe in what I experienced.

He looks at my palm only briefly and starts to speak. ‘ you are not on the right path’. I snap out of it. ‘Really ?” ‘I thought accounting was the right fit.’

‘Nothing is right’ accounting, your clothes, Sherry. All wrong, because all were not your choice. You simply let others decide for you, so now you are on the wrong path. Ricky. Ricky is the one right thing in your life. He will be the one to correct it. Trust in Ricky. Ironically it will take someone else to tell you what to do to make you get on the right path and choose your destiny’

As I snatch my hand away I get upset ‘what do you mean, all is wrong with me. Who says that to a person. And I love Sherry, I’m going to marry her,…. I think’ ‘I don’t know who you are or how you know these things but it’s wrong.’

As I go to storm to the exit I feel like I’m in a tumble dryer the world spins on its axis. I look back and the Gypsy is muttering and then spits at me. ‘ I give you a Curse! Not to hurt but help’ as I steady myself he walks towards me. ‘Use this to your advantage, not all curse’s can be detrimental. Until the clock strikes 12. Any question that is asked of a Yes. Or. A No. the opposite will be a reality. It has the power to rearrange you future your past. So be wise young Jace. And remember my words Ricky is the one to put you on a try path. Go now

I stumbled out of the carriage dazed wondering what had just happened. I looked at my watch. It was 9:15 pm. Sherry would be here soon and we can go home. I wasn’t looking and a bumped into a guy. “ watch where you’re going mate!” He yelled. “ hey do you smoke? Can I bum one?”

As I went to say no it was as if time slowed down and rewound very quickly to the day in the 8th grade when Tommy Doyle asked me to meet him behind the sheds at school to try smoking, he stole a pack from his dad. I had said no, but in this flash I has said yes. I joined Tommy, I had memory flood through my brain of school and uni and clubs always smoking, my friends were a little bit different to,, Ricky was there of course but they all didn’t seem so straight laced, my clothes seemed to feel looser, darker a little more edgier, I felt slightly more confident and strangely fitter, felt my arm tingle as a tattoo appeared as the spin came back to reality.

‘Yeah sure man” I think passed him the packet and lit the lighter from my pocket, “ sorry I wasn’t watching where I was going”

‘No problem” as the guy walked away I looked back and the gypsy was standing in the door way, laughing.

Something didn’t seem right, I turned to to go taking an another deep inhale on my smoke. I needed to find Ricky and get home to Sherry.

This is the first of a few chapters, let me know if I should continue.

#Curse #smoking #reality change #mental change #male transformation

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desmond69miles · 2 years

Note

auahaagg i saw you write for big mouth and i’m here now to give you a request…

if you write nsfw for big mouth, could you do nsfw headcanons of judd being a hard dom with a sub/fem!reader?

thank you in advance!

im gonna do sex on a laddyyyy and the ladys gonna do sex on meeee

hello anon! thank you for a big mouth request <33 and the first one for BM too! if you want to request anything from BM, I only write smut for characters above 18, so I will not write anything NSFW for andrew, nick, or any other characters.

I also find this funny because I wrote this while my health science teacher was talking about sex haha

warnings: nsfw headcanons (ofc), knife play, this is not vanilla, HOLY SHIT I SPELT VINALLA RIGHT, hate fuck??, d/s, fem! reader, CNC.

by clicking read more you consent to anything and everything in the warnings

-judd would not be a virgin. he 100% lost his virginity right out the womb HHAHA. but saying he’s not a virgin would make him a cherry popper, change my mind. i know for a fact this man has a weird obsession with taking your virginity and making sure he’s the only one who does.

-omg would fuck you in his t-shirt because he hates when you wear it.

-hard. core. kinks. does smoking count? because you guys will get high and/or smoke while having sex, preferably, while your on your knees and hands while he gently (or not so gently) pushes into your warm cunt. knife play, breath play, iceplay, bondage, CNC. nothing is better to him than having a hand around your neck while he presses a knife to your stomach, gently tracing circles with the tip of the knife; or playing around with some CNC. judd is dark, and I mean d-a-r-k. he probably enjoys a fantasy of drugging your drink/food, watching you fall unconscious next to him, Judd then tying you up on his bed and cutting your clothes off and watching you until you wake up. (with consent, that's the whole idea of CNC)

-face fucking!!!! he’ll have you on your knees, or your head hanging off the back of his bed while he fucks your mouth. he would keep going until your face and throat are numb, fingernails causing little crescents in his hips. he much prefers to receive rather than give, but he’s not opposed to doing 69, or going down on you if you asked nice enough. (aka begged until you were thoroughly embarrassed with yourself.)

-did judd have a bad day? is judd jealous? did you do something to piss him off? he’s 100% a hard dom and would slap you around/manhandle you during sex.

- early morning quickies before your job in the back of his van. (let's be honest, if your dating judd, your probably skipping school.) saying you were on birth control, he’d probably cum inside and make you sit in it for the rest of the day. (please don’t do this tinkle after you sex)

-don’t try to dom him, it aint gonna work. it’ll be a cold day in hell before judd birch becomes a sub. and, no pegging. sorry my ladies and lads.

-OK OK he’ll throw around orders without too much care, telling you exactly how he wants his dick sucked, to speed up or slow down, to get on his lap. and he’s so blunt about it too, like he’s been doing it since he was three.

-low/deep groans. those sounds can turn blake Sheldon gay.

-his degradation skills are dangerous. it’s pretty rare, but sometimes he’ll throw i a small praise at the end of a degradation sentence. “your such a slut, whining from something so little? my good little whore.” D56FYG7UHIJ

-his favorite is when he can make you cry from pleasure. that's when he knows he did a good job, that and when you can’t walk the next day.

-SADISM. he’s such a big sadist, and you better be a masochist. he loves, loves LOVES to scratch/bite, or slap you. he also finds it accomplishing when you leave scratch marks down his back. it lowkey freaked diane out when she saw all the marks and bruises, but understood it was just rough play once she saw the same marks on judd.

-also big on somnophilia? something about watching you sleep so peacefully stirs his dick. maybe its the fact your so helpless? he just loves watching your sleepy breath pick up as he runs his fingers over your folds.

-and then to wrap things up, his aftercare game is ass. most he’ll do is throw his shirt at you and then watch a movie with you. sometimes he’ll shower with you, but then it turns to shower sex. haha.

PLEASE send more bm requests I love writing for it

vergilsladyfriend 2022. do not repost without permission. reblogs are appreciated!

#judd birch x reader #judd birch smut #judd birch #big mouth smut #big mouth x reader #smut

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startaee · 6 months

Text

unbelievable. rin x fem! reader

mdni, reblogs appreciated.

tws: mentions of smoking, drinking, OCD tendencies, lmk if i missed smthg!

usually he’d tell isagi and bachira to stop embarrassing him by commenting ‘cringe’ or ‘lukewarm’ till they get the idea, however, right now, he had his own troubles.

rin couldn’t find his phone.

unbelievable!

he was the most responsible person he knew. now, of course he didn’t know too many people, but it doesn’t change the fact that he was extremely cautious when it came to his belongings.

hands patting his pockets. his frown deepened.

now he wasn’t upset because of a phone. sure it was the brand new iphone that just hit the markets yesterday and it did contain really valuable information to him, like…his practice schedule and…horror movies to watch…

anyway! the real reason he was standing in the middle of the road with a look that scared off the tourist that was about to ask him for directions is the fact that, he; the rin itoshi forgot.

because itoshi rin never forgets. well until now.

he walked back to the signal as a confused bachira and worried isagi followed him.

was it a prank? was it a pickpocket? was it-

no, rin. you just, forgot.

letting out an annoying groan he stomped back to the building of the party he was forced to attend. this was all isagi’s fault! if he hadn’t forced him to come to this stupid party-

groaning loudly again, rin snapped his head to isagi and wordlessly glared at him.

“w-what rin..? do you wanna go back to the party or somethin’?” isagi gulped, not understanding why rin was still having mood swings in his twenties, ‘did he have a late puberty?’

rolling his eyes, rin continued his journey, leaving the two boys staring at each other in confusion. if someone came from the opposite direction, they would think that a fight was about to occur.

the door of the penthouse was open as guys smoked close to the elevator. rin cringed at the ‘lukewarm’ song playing but didn’t waste any time making his way into the apartment.

scanning the room, he remembered sitting on the couch in the living room and immediately made his way to it.

thankfully, no one was sitting on the couch so he was able to lift up the cushions, and check thoroughly…to no avail…

this was about pride and his slight ocd tendencies. he felt like he would lose his mind if he didn’t-

eyes widened as the familiar phone case across the couch on the table entered his vision.

he didn’t even think twice before leaping towards it.

yes! the same stupid space wallpaper, yes! the same password, yes! the same apps he didn’t close- wait a minute, whats this?

why was his camera opened? scrolling through his gallery, he swiped through the pictures he’d never seen before, and stopped at a video. as soon as it ended, he felt heat rush to the tip of his ears and a blush appear on his face. looking around frantically as he hoped to find-

“there you are!” isagi panted, hands on his knees. “we’ve been looking for you everywhere.” bachira complained, jumping on isagi’s back. that was his subtlest way of letting his best friend know that he was getting a piggy back ride.

rin just hoped they didn’t notice his flustered self and coughed up an excuse to leave.

“don’t be late for practice tomorrow..” though his words were supposed to sound threatening, they sounded sweet and nice and shaky. isagi and bachira once again shared a look of confusion but this time, just decided to go with it.

rin scanned every room for something specific…hanging his head low in disappointment, he left the apartment, this time with his phone in his hand.

as he stepped inside the elevator alone, he unlocked his phone to watch the video again.

“hey…hehehe-ya left yer phone here.

too bad, haha.

well, it’s good for me though, cause i get to tell you how cute i thought you were, without having to see you while saying it!

wait this camera is good, which iphone is this oh my god.

okay no, we’re getting off topic. i’m a little drunk, ya know?

but i did write my number in ya phone case, hehe~

oh, shoot im sorry for ruining yer phone case- oh nooooo im sorryyyyy~

hey but, maybe we can, go sometime together to get you another phonecase?

maybe? huh, this is so easy. is this how the future generation will ask people out?

damn. anyway,

lemme know, alright? call me tomorr-”

he shut his eyes as the video cut off. stepping out of the elevator, he bites his lip to hide the smile forming.

unbelievable.

#rin fluff #rin itoshi x reader #rin itoshi #itoshi rin #bllk #bllk scenarios #bllk x reader #blue lock drabbles #blue lock headcannons #blue lock scenarios #blue lock #blue lock x you #bllk headcanons #blue lock fluff #bllk fluff #bllk drabbles

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chirp-a-chirp · 6 months

Text

Clavis Lelouch • Clavis x Emma • Tags: Fluff; Crack; Pranks; Mischief; Cat-puns • Word Count: ~1900 • Triggers: None • Brief appearances by Chevalier, Cyran, and Sariel

Title: Cat-astrophe

Description: It’s Clavis. Of course there’s chaos! This time, in feline form 😸

For @katriniac as a part of the Ikemen Prince Exchange hosted by @ikemenlibrary and @saeyoungs-sunflower 😊

Cat-inspired Clavis drawing (aka Catvis) done by @aide-falls

…

“This doesn’t look like a good idea.”

“You’re right, my dear. It’s a perfectly wicked one!” Clavis flicked a finger at the glass bottle he was holding. The bottle contained a light purple liquid that bubbled and fizzled like champagne. It appeared benign, even pleasant looking, until one looked directly above at the ceiling and the soot that covered it. Emma opened a window to let out the plumes of smoke that lingered.

“Most liquids don’t spontaneously burst into flames.” Emma coughed pointedly, moving her hands in a fanning motion to push the smoke outside.

“Unless Licht is cooking, haha!”

“Will you tell me what it is you’re trying to make at least?”

Clavis put down the bottle. “And where would the fun in that be?” He smirked, a look of utter delight on his face. “I DO have the antidote to this—well, most of it.” Clavis gestured to a second glass bottle with a light bluish tint to it. Emma’s eyes widened.

“Could it be that my lovely lover is worried for me?” Clavis tweaked Emma’s nose playfully. “It’s not as if this liquid will make me disappear or anything!” His eyes flashed, with a hint of challenge to them. “And even if it did, I’m sure you’d find me.”

…

The next day, Clavis was gone.

His disappearance had not been noticed until late morning, when a terrified palace butler was forced to wake up Chevalier instead of Clavis. None of the princes seemed particularly bothered at this development. As Emma made inquiries, their reactions were varied—relief from Yves (Licht and I can have a tea party uninterrupted!); mockery laced with pity from Nokto (you’re getting a day off from him; isn’t that a good thing?); and the equivalent of a princely shrug from Leon (I haven’t seen smoke since yesterday, so I’m sure he’s fine.). But, they all agreed on one thing—they hadn’t seen Clavis.

Emma entered Chevalier’s private library hoping he’d know what was going on. She placed a rare romance book from Jade on a side table near where Chevalier sat reading. There was an approving nod as elegant fingers picked up the book. He offered a rather unusual hint.

“My fool of a brother lost one of his nine lives today.”

Emma tilted her head. “Can you elaborate on that?”

“Do you have the next installment of this book?”

“It won’t be published until next month!”

“Then our conversation ends now, Simpleton.” The corner of Chevalier’s mouth lifted as he placed the book in his lap. As Emma left the room, she heard Chevalier say one more thing.

“He’s not complicated. He needs something from you, but cannot bring himself to admit it.”

Chevalier’s words echoed in Emma’s head as she headed toward Clavis’ bedroom. She took out a key from her dress pocket, heart lurching at the breach of privacy.

The room was virtually the same as it was when she was with Clavis yesterday. Emma knew he saw this place as a shrine to his failures, a testament to mediocrity. But, she saw much more—it was a place of studiousness, ingenuity, and childish delight. Books on law, pharmacology, science, and philosophy were neatly arranged on his bookshelf. One of the middle shelves held a cup with the phrase #1 worst emblazoned on it—a gag gift Emma had bought Clavis when they first became a couple. She grabbed a book at random and noted with a smile that the book was highlighted in numerous colors, with notes in the margins about various herbs that could be used for different smoke traps.

Emma placed the book back on the shelf and glanced at various pieces of paper attached to the wall above his writing desk. The papers contained lists with the number of traps discovered by other people. Various palace staff and princes had tick marks next to their names, each tick mark indicating a trap they had fallen into. Yves encompassed one entire sheet of paper by himself, and to Emma’s surprise, Chevalier had one mark next to his name. She’d have to ask Clavis about THAT story.

But Emma had to find him first. She sat at his desk chair, feeling lonely. She looked down at her hands—Clavis had held her hand so often in their adventures; she now felt empty without it.

I know you feel like you’re not enough Clavis. But you are. Where are you?

“Meow?”

Emma turned her head at the sound. A beautiful long-haired cat emerged from behind Clavis’ couch. Its paws, the tip of its tail, and its chest were light grey while the rest of its body was purple. The cat’s eyes were golden and sparkling with mischief.

“Are you lost little one?” The cat jumped in Emma’s lap, nesting between her thighs as if it thought it belonged there. “You’re not the only one who likes that spot. Though your touch is gentler.” Emma chuckled, scratching the cat behind its ears. She then noticed the cat wore a dark purple necktie that looked remarkably familiar. Embedded in the center of the necktie was a tag containing a name—Catvis.

Catvis leaped onto the desk, its tail bristling (Emma corrected herself…the cat was decidedly male). He pushed a drawer open with a paw and fished out a gold-chained necklace with his teeth. The necklace held two golden medallions—one reading “Catvis” and the other “Accomplice”. Emma swore she saw the cat smirk as he dropped the necklace in her lap.

A notion so absurd it bordered on ludicrous flitted into Emma’s head. She reached out her hand and patted the cat on his head. “Clavis, is that you?”

The cat practically pranced with joy. He head butted Emma’s hand, leaning into her touch, before jumping deftly onto her lap again, exposing his belly.

Emma shook her head in disbelief. “The things you do for attention are ridiculous Clavis.” The cat nipped Emma’s finger, causing her to pull her hand away. “Oh, excuse me. Do you prefer to be called Catvis while in this form?” Emma’s words were dripping in sarcasm, but the cat purred contently and licked the finger he bit.

Emma recalled the pharmacology book she glanced at earlier. “You were working on a polymorph potion, weren’t you?” Catvis beamed and extended his body so that he was standing on Emma’s lap, his front paws on her shoulders. He rubbed both sides of her cheeks affectionately.

“You really are ridiculous. Ridiculously amazing.” Catvis blinked, not expecting to hear that. “A polymorph potion has never been successfully made until now. A mere Chevalier would not—could not—think to do this.” Emma blushed at her words—expressing her honest feelings was easier with him in this form.

Catvis nuzzled against Emma’s face. He craved this attention, this affirmation. Needed it. Emma’s heart trembled at the realization. She held him in that standing pose in her lap for a while, letting her guard down. After a while, her eyes drifted to the bottle of blue liquid Clavis mentioned yesterday on a table. “We have to change you back eventually, you know. What ingredient is missing from your antidote?”

Catvis jumped back on the desk, finding a pen and fitting it into his mouth. With his head at an incredibly awkward angle, he wrote out two words on a piece of paper: Black rawhide.

“Wow, I can READ this!” Apparently, Clavis’ eighth wonder was legible handwriting without opposable thumbs. “There’s no rawhide here, so we’ll have to look for it. Come here, let me carry you as we search for some.”

Catvis went back to Emma’s lap, his head pushing the necklace into her hand. “I am NOT wearing a cat collar.” Catvis pouted. Emma felt a pang of guilt at his expression. “Well, maybe just this ONCE.”

A few moments later, Emma came out of the bedroom, with Catvis perched on her shoulders. As Emma walked down the palace stairs, she spied a familiar plume of fiery red hair.

“My Lady!” Cyran ran to Emma. “What news of our missing charge?”

“You’re not going to believe this.”

“Try me. Nothing about him surprises me anyone.”

“You MAY want to reconsider that statement.” Emma turned her shoulder and gestured to Catvis.

“I didn’t know you owned a cat.” Cyran sniffed loudly.

“WE own a cat. A very naughty one at that.” Emma smirked and bopped Catvis on his nose.

AAAAAAA-CHO!

“I’m highly allergic to cats. Especially naughty ones.” Cyran’s eyes watered. “So, no, I do NOT own a cat.”

Emma gestured to the “Catvis” button on her feline companion. “Actually, we do. Clavis created a polymorph potion and here are the results of THAT.” Catvis grinned broadly—it was a grin Cyran knew all too well.

Catvis’ ears twitched at a sound down a nearby hallway. He jumped off of Emma’s shoulders and sprinted away.

“Catvis, wait!” Emma began running after him, but Cyran erupted into a violent coughing fit, one so strong it made his cheeks blaze as red as his hair. A maid was tasked with fetching him a glass of water as Emma slapped his back.

“I-I’m fine!” Cyran collected his breath. “Were you serious when you said that cat was—“ A shriek from the maid carrying Cyran’s water interrupted the conversation. A furry purple and grey blur darted past her. Catvis ran up the stairs, carrying a black rawhide whip in his mouth. The whip crackled in the air as Catvis flew past Emma and Cyran. Sariel came bounding from the hallway, violet eyes narrowed with rage. “It is enough to have one Hellcat among us. I did not think we had a second living in the palace.”

Emma looked apologetically at Cyran, her hand pointing at Sariel. “Cyran, can you handle this?”

“I…do not get paid enough for these shenanigans, My Lady.” AAAAAAA-CHO!

“At least you get paid.”

…

With a piece of Sariel’s whip, the antidote was now complete and consumed by Catvis (he lapped the potion from Emma’s #1 worst cup). The antidote would take a few hours to be effective, so Emma laid down on Clavis’ couch, a blanket covering her legs and Catvis perched in his proper spot—between Emma’s thighs.

Emma couldn’t remember falling asleep, but she must have done so, for she woke up to the pre-dawn hours to a heavier weight on her body and something touching her face. Emma’s eyes slowly opened as she felt an arm—a human arm!—encircle her waist, and roaming hands caressing over her clothes.

“Ah, you’re awake my lovely lover. How wonderful.” Alluring golden eyes shone brightly in the darkened room as Clavis’ lips traced a trail down Emma’s neck.

“Hmmm,” Emma’s fingers carded through Clavis’ hair.

“Are you so delighted you’re at a loss for words? Cat got your tongue?” There was a purr to his voice as Clavis leaned forward and presented a cheek to be kissed.

A cheek was not enough. Emma pulled Clavis down for a kiss, her lips capturing his. “You’re an absolute cat-astrophe, darling.” As she pulled away, Emma’s quiet laughter tickled Clavis’ ear.

“But you’re my cat-astrophe. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

#clavis lelouch #ikemen prince clavis #ikemen prince #ikemen prince chevalier #ikemen prince sariel #cyran rose #otome fanfic #ikepri #ikepri fanfic #fanfic fluff

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nataliesfirefly · 2 months

Text

You and I Walk a Fragile Line - Farleigh Start x F!Reader - Part 4

a/n: hey everyone! i know it's been a while but the next part is finally here! not sure how many parts i want this to be bc i dont want to fill up the tag, still waiting to make an ao3 account haha- but anyways im getting a taglist started just of people who have shown interest in this series, if i put you on it and you don't want to be on it just let me know. and ofc if u want to be on it lmk! i also made a playlist if anyone wants to check that out :))

playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/60Kll9HCoQru14J18bT21C

series masterlist

word count: 3.9k

warnings: language, suggestive stuff?, alcohol, smoking, emetophobia

Things are extremely awkward with Felix. He’s too nice to kick you out of Saltburn, yet he’s too prideful to apologize, so you two are stuck dancing around each other with small talk and short interactions.

Things with Farleigh, on the other hand, are surprisingly good. You never would have expected how close you two became in the past few days. In fact, you can’t remember the last time he insulted you, at least not in a playful way. You must have bonded over your shared dislike for Felix at the moment.

But for some reason, you worry if you get too close, he might push you away.

Tonight was dinner with all of Sir James’s friends, and as the Cattons tend to call them, the Henry’s. The actual dinner was full of awkward conversations with people much older than you about the future of your life and what you were going to do after graduating college. You actually had no idea what your plan was or what you wanted to do with your life. You used to push all the questions away and blamed it on the fact that graduation was pretty far away. It only recently dawned on you that you would be graduating in about two years.

After dinner, you sit in the dimly lit living room with Farleigh on the couch as everyone else participates in karaoke. You and Farleigh snicker at some of the guests’ performances, whispering things to each other as if you are judges of some competition.

Eventually, Farleigh sighs and stands to his feet. “I’m going to go smoke,” He tells you, putting his hands in his pockets. He turns and looks at you expectantly. You take it as his way of asking you to come with him, so you stand up and snatch the bottle of wine you were drinking off the coffee table.

You follow him up the stairs, down the long, dark hall and eventually into his bedroom. He shuts the door behind you and draws out the pack of cigarettes from his pocket and lights one. “At least open the window,” You walk over to the window and open it to let the smoke out.

“Oh, right. Cause you hate the smell so much.” He rolls his eyes at you as he exhales some smoke. “Weren’t you the one that asked me for one of these the other day?” He points the cigarette at you and you glance down shamefully.

“Yeah. I wasn’t at my best, okay?” You shake your head and slump down to the floor, leaning against the wall and stretching your legs out.

“Okay, sure, miss goody two shoes.” He chuckles and sits down next to you. You take a swig from the wine bottle and sigh, leaning your head back.

“So, Felix…” Farleigh trails off and looks over to you. You continue staring up at the ceiling. “Can we not talk about Felix right now,” You reply, closing your eyes. “We need to,” He says, nudging you.

“What is there to talk about?” You ask, turning to meet Farleigh’s gaze. He presses the cigarette to his lips and inhales. “You said it yourself, that he only hangs out with me out of pity.”

As he breathes out, the smoke passes over your face but you don’t care. “And what’s your problem with him? It seems like you’ve been waiting for someone to turn on him so you could join in,” You continue, and his eyes tell you that you’ve just read him like a book.

He quickly recovers and remains expressionless. “You’re projecting,” Farleigh responds. “Then why have you been so nice to me?” You ask.

The room goes silent and you are stuck in a moment where time doesn’t pass, it’s just you and Farleigh. His usual cold and dark gaze is replaced by something softer, warmer. Something in the air shifts and you can feel some kind of tension rising.

But then he looks away, breaking eye contact. “Because Felix is just stupid sometimes,” He finally replies, nodding toward the bottle of wine you are holding. You hand it to him and your fingers brush against his.

He takes a drink. “I don’t think he ever had bad intentions. He’s just an idiot,” You consider this. Maybe he’s just extremely out of touch with reality like the rest of the Cattons.

There’s a pause as you think of something to change the subject to.

“So… How about that Sadie girl?” You ask, turning to him with a grin. He gives the wine back to you and you take a quick swig.

Elspeth is, for some reason, attempting to set Farleigh up with a daughter of one of James’s friends. Her name is Sadie, and she is very pretentious and fake, from what you can tell. You hadn’t spoken to her, but you watched from afar as she and Farleigh engaged in a conversation.

“She’s alright,” He shrugs and stands up to press the cigarette out on his ashtray. He sits back down next to you and sighs.

“She was like, hardcore flirting with you,” You chuckle and observe his exasperated expression. “Oh, I know.” He smirks smugly and you roll your eyes.

“That’s weird, usually you hook up with someone the moment they show interest in you,” You smile at the way he frowns slightly. “That’s not true,” He furrows his eyebrows and glances at you. “Okayyy,” You say sarcastically.

A while later, you are still upstairs with Farleigh, but you are now feeling the effects of all the alcohol you’ve consumed. You both had gone downstairs to steal more booze, and you ended up drinking almost all of it. Your whole body feels tingly and warm, and your brain is fuzzy.

You run a hand through your tousled hair and sigh, turning to check if Farleigh is as wasted as you. He seems slightly better off than you, but his dark eyes are half lidded and glossy.

“Do you ever miss Sasha?” He glances at you, seeming surprised at your random question. Sasha is Farleigh’s ex from Oxford, who he had endured a tumultuous and rollercoaster ride of a relationship with. You had met her once or twice, she seemed kind, but slightly possessive.

“Sasha?” Farleigh repeats her name and takes a moment to process it. It seems like memories are returning to him and replaying in his head.

“Sometimes. But not really. She was crazy,” He raised his eyebrows and stared straight ahead. “You guys broke up and got back together, like, ten times,” You giggle foolishly and he turns to look at you, slightly offended by your amusement.

“It was too hard to keep up with,” You sigh after your laughter subsides.

“I didn’t know you were keeping up,” You make eye contact once again with Farleigh, and this time his gaze is more intense. You can’t tell if it’s one of his usual sarcastic comments or if there was an underlying meaning behind his tone. Your face burns red with the realization that you had been studying his relationship so closely. But, really, everyone in your friend group knew about Sasha and Farleigh’s dumpsterfire of a romance. Break up, random hook ups, they said they love each other, then they argued again.

“It’s just.. what friends do,” You reply, your speech slurred. “Friends keep up with each other’s relationships.” You shrug and wave your hand as if to dismiss the seriousness of it.

“You consider me a friend?” Farleigh chuckles, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “Well, what if I do?” Your voice comes out softer than you intended.

There’s another long moment of silence and prolonged eye contact between you two. The tension is so thick, you can feel it in the air and your heart pounds. It’s almost like you are waiting for who will make the next move. Your brain is all muddled and you can’t seem to think clearly.

Your eyes flicker down to his plush lips and you can’t tell if it’s the alcohol or not, but your instinct is to kiss him. You grab him by the face, a hand on either cheek, and pull him in, smashing your lips together sloppily. You pull away, shocked at yourself, dropping your hands into your lap as your lips hover over his.

You expect him to be disgusted and stand up and walk away, but there’s a slight pause before he is grabbing you and pulling you back in, kissing you almost aggressively. Like he’s been starved, like there’s not enough of you.

You squeak with surprise before you melt into him, softening as one of his hands travels down to your neck and the other settles on your waist. You both have to gasp for air in between sloppy kisses, but you don’t mind. Your heart races and your hands travel up into his hair, running your hands through his unruly dark curls. You find that you’ve been waiting so long to do that, to feel his hair in your hands.

He bites your lower lip and your eyebrows pinch together. “Sorry,” He mumbles, although his voice disappears into your mouth. You feel yourself losing balance and beginning to fall back onto the floor.

Before you know it, he’s on top of you, refusing to stop kissing you. It’s messy and you know you’re both drunk, but damn does it feel good. The tension feels like it’s being lifted off of you, and it’s relieving. You don’t know how long it will last but hell, you’re enjoying it. Both of his hands have moved to your hips and his fingers are pressing into you.

You feel his lips move from yours, moving down from your jaw to your neck. He’s kissing and sucking on your skin so passionately that you know you will have bruises tomorrow. You moan quietly and you hear him groan in response, his low voice vibrating against your neck.

You attempt to catch your breath as you suddenly feel something in your stomach, something unpleasant. Saliva begins to build in your mouth and it’s like you have an internal clock telling you how much time you have left before you absolutely hurl.

“Far-Farleigh,” You place your hands on his shoulders. You whimper and slightly push up on him. He glances up from your neck, staring up at you in confusion. You can’t deny that you enjoy viewing him from this angle, but you have other concerns at the moment.

“Gonna throw up,” You manage to get out before he’s rolling off of you, allowing you to get up. You clamber to your feet and scramble into the connecting bathroom, barely making it to your knees in front of the toilet before you throw up.

You grip both sides of the toilet for support as you practically spill your guts, coughing loudly. You would have liked some help or something from Farleigh, but it seems like he has just left you here to deal with it yourself.

You groan and wipe your mouth, sitting up and staring straight ahead in some sort of daze. You eventually come to your senses and stand up, flushing the toilet. You feel dizzy so you grab onto the counter of the sink to not lose balance, catching your reflection in the mirror.

Your hair is very messy, and your mascara is slightly smudged around your eyes. Your cheeks are warm and rosy, but in an unflattering way. You look like a wreck.

When you walk back into his room, he’s gone. You sigh in frustration and press a hand to your aching and pounding forehead. Somehow, you stumble back to your room and flop onto your bed. You managed to avoid the small number of guests left in the house, along with Venetia and Felix. You just want to get some sleep after the shitshow that just happened. And you know you’ll be paying for it in the morning.

2 YEARS EARLIER

You, Felix, and some of your other friends were gathered at the pub on a Friday night. There was chatter and the smell of cigarette smoke all around you. Felix returned from the bar and handed you a tall glass of beer.

You were focused on Farleigh and the girl who sat on his lap. Her hands were all over him, and he seemed totally enamored with her. She had a short skirt on and her wrists were covered in bracelets. She was pretty, you had to admit.

“Who’s that?” You asked, glancing up at Felix and pointing to the two. “Oh, that’s Sasha.” He replied. “She’s obsessed with Farleigh. And from what I can tell,” Felix sat down, pulling his chair closer to yours, “He’s liking it.”

You chuckled and took a sip of your beer. “Good for him,” You said, shrugging. “Bet they’ve already fucked,” Felix remarked and you snapped your head towards him. “Ew, Felix. That’s none of your business.” You made a disgusted expression.

“What? Everybody shags around here, it’s no surprise,” He shrugged nonchalantly. “Except you,” He added, grinning and nudging you. You rolled your eyes and looked back towards Sasha and Farleigh.

You didn’t want to imagine them… doing that. But for some reason, your mind kept trying to paint a picture of it. You shook your head to clear your thoughts.

You didn’t know why, but for some reason, you felt jealousy bubbling up inside of you. Why was it so easy for her to get what she wanted? You had liked a few men at Oxford, but you didn’t really even want a boyfriend or a commitment like that.

But as you watched Farleigh and Sasha’s hands intertwine, you felt envious.

“Hey, Felix, who was that guy you were going to introduce me to?” You asked, tapping your fingers against the table. “What? Oh, Joshua? I thought you said you didn’t want to meet him,” He replied. Felix was trying to set you up with one of his friends who seemed like a player. At this point, you didn’t care. It was like you were trying to prove that you could actually get a guy. Prove to who, though?

“I know. I changed my mind,” You said decidedly. “Well, he’s actually here tonight. Would you like me to go grab him?” Felix stood up and pointed towards the other side of the pub. You nodded. “Sure,”

You waited patiently and took a few swigs of beer for confidence. A minute later, Felix returned with a man who was a few inches shorter than him, with fluffy blonde hair and hazel eyes. Freckles were dusted across his nose and his skin was nicely tanned due to the warmer weather of spring. He looked sweet and innocent, but the rumors you had heard about him told you otherwise.

“Hello,” He greeted you, holding out his hand. You stood up to shake his hand, smiling as you introduced yourself. “Nice to meet you, I’m Joshua.” He grinned brightly and Felix seemed amused by the interaction.

“Hi, Joshua.” You tried to make a good first impression, although you weren’t good at this stuff. But it seemed like he was already interested, looking you up and down.

You both sat back down and began small talk about classes and life and friends. Felix left you two alone, but you’re not sure where he went. It was good, talking to someone new, but still a bit uncomfortable since you were so introverted. The conversation flowed nicely between the both of you.

You couldn’t help but feel like someone was watching you. You glanced up, seeing Farleigh’s cold gaze drilling into yours, flicking back and forth between you and Joshua. It was like he was waiting to see who would break eye contact first, and of course, it was you. Your gaze faltered down to the table and then back up to Joshua.

“You alright, love?” He asked, placing a hand on your thigh. You nodded and your face turned a shade of pink with embarrassment. “Sorry. Just thinking,”

“Hey, what do you say when we go back to my dorm? To just chill, relax, you know.” He tilted his head and you could already tell what he was implying. “Uh- Sure, yeah. Let’s go,” You smiled and stood up, grabbing your bag and walking past him toward the doors. He placed a hand on your lower back as you stepped by him.

You woke up the next morning unsure of where you were before memories of the night before came back to you. You were in Joshua’s bed, tangled up in the sheets, with your clothes off and scattered on the floor.

Your eyes widened as you realized you had lost your virginity to Joshua Brown. You sat up and scratched your head, not sure what to do next.

“Oh my God…” You whispered, looking down at Joshua, who was sleeping on his stomach, his face pressed against the pillow. It didn’t look like he was waking up anytime soon.

You stood up and winced as you realized you were a bit sore. You tried to be as quiet as possible as you picked your clothes up off the floor, hurriedly putting them back on.

Joshua stirred in his sleep and groaned, rolling over. You grimaced as you took your bag off of his desk chair, tip toeing to the door and opening it slowly.

You sighed with relief once you had closed his door behind you and you were safely out in the hallway. You know you probably looked like a wreck, but your main goal at the moment was to get back to your own dorm going unnoticed.

You heard your name being called, fairly close to you. You froze before turning to identify where it came from, and you swear your heart dropped to your ass. Farleigh was standing in the doorway of his room, which was conveniently right next door to Joshua’s, smirking at your frazzled state.

“You should work on keeping it down. I couldn’t sleep last night because I kept hearing you and Joshua.” He chuckled and you could feel your face heating up.

“Sorry,” You muttered, casting your glance downwards to the floor.

“You finally got some after all,” He teased. “Can you shut up?” You groaned, facepalming and shaking your head. “Oh, I will if you can figure out how to,” He raised his eyebrows. “Was it really that good?” He questioned.

You considered the question. You didn’t really know if it was or not, you were just trying to be loud because you thought guys liked that. Were you satisfied by the end? No. But Joshua certainly was.

He seemed to notice your puzzled expression and he nodded. “Oh. So the rumors are true about him.” You tilted your head with curiosity. “What rumors?” You asked.

“Oh, you poor thing.” He cooed sarcastically. You narrowed your eyes at him and crossed your arms. “Well, you’d better get back to your place so you can study,” Farleigh mocked. “Make up for that time you lost last night, huh?”

“Can you just not tell anyone? Please?” You knew it was useless asking him not to tell. He had the biggest mouth in the whole class. He just snickered at your pleading and stepped back into his room and shut his door.

That night you hung out with Joshua in his dorm once more, but you told him you didn’t want to have sex again. He respected your decision, so you were just drinking some alcohol with him and making out occasionally.

“Yeah, I don’t really know what I’m going to do with an English degree. I just had to pick something.” He shrugged. You were talking about your futures after Oxford and what you were both majoring in.

“Hm. Well, there’s a lot you could do,” You replied, trying to reassure him, although you weren’t too sure yourself. “You could be-” Your sentence is cut short by a loud moan coming from the room next to you.

“Ah, shit. It’s Farleigh and Sasha again,” Joshua shook his head like it was a regular occurence. “They’re usually at it for a while,” He informed you. “Do you want to go somewhere else?”

Some odd, depraved part of you wanted to stay and listen. “No, that’s alright.” You shrugged. “Surely it can’t be that bad.”

The walls seemed paper thin. You swear you could hear every little noise, like the bed springs squeaking and the wanton sounds that came from Sasha. But then you heard something different. It was Farleigh, whimpering and moaning in a way that you couldn’t even believe what you were hearing. You didn’t know men could make sounds other than grunting during sex, let alone sounds like that.

“Oh fuck,” You heard him breathe heavily and Sasha was practically screaming at this point.

“Damn. They’re really getting into it,” You whistled and raised your eyebrows. Joshua nodded. “I wish I was as good as people say he is,” Joshua looked down. “What?” You asked as you tried to ignore the continuous noises. He was really telling you to be quieter earlier today?

“Farleigh. People say he’s really good in bed,” Joshua explained. You were surprised that he was okay with discussing this with you. “Oh.” You chuckled nervously. You didn’t expect that, but for some reason it made sense. “Was I bad?” Joshua asked suddenly.

You froze at his question and wondered if you should tell him the truth. “I mean… I don’t really… know the difference, you know? It was my first time, remember?” You told him. He nodded but you could tell he seemed hurt and defeated.

“Right,” He awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck and you leaned back in your chair. You could say this was one of the most embarrassing moments of your life, having to listen to Farleigh fuck some girl while having an awkward conversation with the man you had a one night stand with.

The next day around noon, you were walking to a café near campus when you saw Farleigh walking ahead of you on the sidewalk of the cobblestone streets.

An idea popped into your head and you smiled mischievously, jogging to catch up with him. When you appeared at his side, he glanced down and made a face.

“Are you following me?” He asked, glaring at you as you fell into step next to him. “No. I just had a complaint,” You tried to hide the smile threatening your face. “What’s that?” He quirked an eyebrow.

“Me and Joshua were trying to have a nice conversation last night,” You started, and his playful expression immediately dropped. “Maybe try to keep it down next time, right?” You grinned and he stopped in his tracks.

“You were there last night?” He seemed annoyed and a little bit shocked. “Yeah.” You nodded and stopped next to him. “I mean, I couldn’t even hear my own thoughts,” You laughed to yourself and he narrowed his dark eyes at you.

“And it wasn’t even Sasha as much as it was you–” “Keep your mouth shut,” He ordered, and you knew you got a rise out of him. “Practice what you preach, that’s all I’m saying,” You waved and skipped along the sidewalk, leaving him standing there in shock.

taglist: @isla-finke-blog @ibimbogrl @drunkmysticsquirrel @alonia-olivia @novemilady @saltburnsworld

#farleigh start #farleigh saltburn #farleigh x you #farleigh x reader #saltburn #farleigh start x reader

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pricesbeltbuckle · 3 months

Note

Sooo I actually have an idea Simon “ghost” Riley OR John price? Letting the 141 meet their GF and they all expect her to be like goth or somethin BUT she’s like this total hippie who loves to smoke weed and like is all chill vibe

Hippie - Simon 'Ghost' Riley/John Price

Pairing: Simon 'Ghost' Riley/John Price x Hippie!Fem Reader

Warnings: None, Smoking

Simon 'Ghost' Riley:

When he told the team his girlfriend was visiting to meet them they all braced themselves for a VERY emo girl to walk through the doors

But when they saw you? Your baggy colorful shirt with some baggy patchwork pants and your hair up in a messy little bun there jaws DROPPED.

“Hello everyone!! I know I'm probably not what you were expecting but hopefully we can all get along!”

And as soon as you gave Simon a small peck on the cheek as you went to go put your stuff down everyone bombarded him with questions.

“How’d you meet ‘er?” “Does she smoke..?” “Can we talk to her?” “I had no idea that was your type-” “We met in georgia, Yes she smokes, Yes you can talk to her, And I love ‘er I don’t care what she looks like lads.”

And then they all ran up to you as you took a seat on a couch they had

“Shoot the questions already, I can feel you staring at me.” You giggled at them as you started to roll up a blunt

“Can I smoke here?” “Yeah should be fine, so are you a hippie or..?” Is the first question from Gaz. “Well I like the style but I don’t know if i’m a full on hippie..You’d have to ask Ghosty.” “You can call him GHOSTY?” You started to light your blunt as you giggled at Soap’s response.

“Yes, haha you must be Soap then?” “Oh wow she knows my name, I'm honored.” You both giggled at each other after that.

At the end of the day all of you got along and everyone liked you, sometimes you’d bring them food and they loved that. So yeah you made a good impression on them.

John Price:

When he mentioned he even had a girlfriend everyone was stunned they never expected him to have a girlfriend and if he did they always expected her to be emo.

So when they all came into prices office and saw you chilling on a sofa smoking they all looked at him as he just smiled

“Boys meet my lovely girlfriend.” “Hello! It’s so nice to meet you guys. I hear SOOO much about you. It's insane!” You’d hold your hand out to all of them as they all shaked it and sat across from you as you finished up smoking.

“We never thought he’d get himself a girlfriend and we expected wayyy different from you, not to be rude.” Ghost spoke up and looked at you. “Oh no worries I get it haha no one would expect me! Do any of you want some of my homemade brownies? No they don’t have weed in them I just felt like you guys could use a snack.” You smiled and held out a plate of them as they all took one.

They from there on out asked you if you’d bring any more snacks or any of your cookings because you just cooked a little bit better than Price

When you AND Price cooked together for the first time their tongues literally melted and they kept asking for more eventually clearing the whole entire plate of different foods.

When deployed Price always talks about you and they can never get enough of the weird stories that he has to tell about you because to them they couldn’t imagine him doing half the stuff you do.

I hope you like this I might make an AU of this<3

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pix3lplays · 4 months

Note

Stanley Snyder fluff hcs 😈

Yes! Let’s! Ugh the way I want to reread the American arc now

Cw! Mildly suggestive, like, sharing a bed and stuff, SORRY I’m a Little thirsty for this man-

-Stanley Snyder fluff hcs!-

So as we all know, Stanley isn’t really the softest, gentlest man. But Dang it he will TRY for you. Stanley was literally labeled Aloof for a reason. So he’s not the best at compliments or physical affection… But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t try. One of your most gentlest moments with him is when you’re laying in bed, and he takes your hand and holds it up against his bare chest, against his heart, so you can feel it beating. Then he just speaks his mind to you. Letting you hear all of his thoughts, all of his feelings, all of his fears and concerns. He’s not used to being able to be vulnerable around someone. ALSO you know that thing he did with Xeno when he was unpetrified???!? That’s a Stanley Classic sign that he cares. Gently stroking your face, while he takes in your features, proving to you that a man as scary and intense as him can be gentle too. Imagine how romantic it’d be to share a cigarette with Stanley~ He exhales, brings the cigarette to your mouth, drawing it along your lips, gently encouraging you to try it, just once. He doesn’t Actually want you to become a smoking addict like him though, he just thinks you’ll look so, so sexy exhaling smoke from the same cigarette he was using. His hands are Cold but…comforting! Especially with the way they fit so perfectly into your warm ones. There’s nothing more comforting than the feeling of him tracing his cold hands along your skin late at night when you’re both tired and ready to relax with each other. When you’re around the others though, it’s hard to tell the two of you are a thing. He doesn’t make it that obvious. No one suspects you’re a couple. He’s just not one for PDA. If you Really want him to do something though…he’ll hold your hand in public. Oh unless someone starts hitting on you. You KNOW that man is going to make it clear that you belong to him. Take that as you will. His proposal was sweet and cool and confident. Him and Xeno worked for a Long While to find you a diamond ring. He took you for a stroll, asked you underneath the night sky, and when you said yes, he lifted your chin and kissed you so deeply, so passionately, his hand holding the back of your head to keep you in place, and his smokey kiss that night Still lives with you to this day. Sometimes you ask him to kiss you like he did that night. He’s happy to comply. He’s actually an overprotective man. He would literally chase you to the ends of the Earth, should something happen to you. His favorite cuddling position is one hand on your hip, his face buried in the crook of your neck. Once it’s Established that you two are married, you kinda become the aloof couple who keep to themselves most of the time. People like you! They’re kinda frightened by your husband though, haha… Goodness, Stanley holding your left hand, his thumb running over your wedding ring, letting you know he’s Genuinely so happy you’re married to him. Your first night spent in a bed with him was MAGICAL. Did you know Stanley sleeps shirtless?? That was fun to discover. Watching him pull off his shirt before he climbed into bed…goodness. You didn’t really Sleep that well because you were so focused on the fact that you were LAYING NEXT TO STANLEY SNYDER IN BED. Don’t think he doesn’t notice your anxiety. He might even tease you a little bit for it, but nothing malicious. He just thinks you’re cute, getting so nervous around him… So he sits up in bed, swings his legs over the side of the bed, lighting a cigarette, giving you a Great view of his bare back in the moonlight. He knows how to drive you crazy. “Stanley…come back to bed,” you beg. “Are you going to actually sleep?” he teases behind his cigarette. When you promise, he’ll slide back under the covers, pulling you up against his bare chest, trying to coax you to sleep. He’s so comforting…you don’t want him to get up and leave in the morning. But you wake up to an empty bed. Speaking of, he always wakes up really early. So you need to figure out a way to wake up before him so you can catch him before he leaves for the day. Good luck!

#Dr. Stone #Dr. Stone x reader #stanley snyder #Stanley Snyder x reader #dr stone Stanley x reader #dr stone Stanley Snyder x reader

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stayarmytinyzenmoa-l · 9 months

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And That's Okay

University AU TW: Language, University Struggles, Sexual Orientation Struggles, Strained Parental Relationships, Slight Implications of Body Dysmorphia, Angst (No Comfort), Reader implied to have anxiety, Codependent relationship, Implications of a toxic relationship, Smoking, Hookup culture Smut Warnings: F/F Sex, Oral (giving and receiving), fingering, first-time receiving anything and everything, loss of virginity, mentions of penetrative sex, mentions of dildo and various other usage of sex toys, F/M Sex, blowjobs, drunk sex, protected sex, penetrative sex, sloppy makeouts Genre: Romance, Drama, Angst, Smut Pairing: Jeon Somi x Reader ft. Na Jaemin Y/N Pronouns: Female (She/Her) Word Count: 27.3K Summary: University is when you find out things about yourself. You will find out things you'd already known and you will find out things that you didn't want to know, and oftentimes that is through the help of others who you grow close to and learn to love. But nothing lasts forever, and that's okay.

[Other Groups Masterlist] Notes: HAHA I GOT IT DONE IN TIME FOR HER COMEBACK! So, yeah, full disclosure this is heavily based off of my own experiences coming to terms with myself but obviously it's also super fucking exaggerated because it is fanfic lmao I gotta make it entertaining somehow. But, without further ado, enjoy! Disclaimer: Please remember that this is an AU and a work of fiction, obviously the idols mentioned/written about in this story would never partake in these actions. The idols mentioned in this work are meant to be seen more as face claims rather than the actual idols themselves.

Feedback is greatly appreciated!! Thank you for reading!

“Yeah, we’re together.”

“Oh, I’m happy for you,” you smiled. Your friend had been seeing this guy for a while now, and you were the fortunate one who had listened to her the entire time. Sweet as it may be, you were glad that she’d finally mustered the courage to say yes to his constant probings. You were happy for her, truly, you were in love with the way she smiled now and the way she spoke about him, you could see it in everything that she did, she really was in love with him. The way her hair bounced when she nodded her head, the way her lips would turn up so slightly, and the way that smile still reached her eyes. You were happy for her, really, you were.

“Thank you, (Y/N)! I only have you to thank, really, you’ve been helping me out with this since day one and… ahh,” she rubs the back of her neck bashfully. Her hair parted slightly under her hands, revealing the soft skin beneath it while she did so and the light tinge of her cheeks sent your heart racing. “(Y/N)? Everything alright? I mean, I know, it must be annoying to hear me gush about him all the time,” she asks with a small laugh.

“Yeah, fine, no, that’s okay. You like him, right?”

“I do! But, I mean, we haven’t really labeled our relationship yet because, I mean, I’m still getting to know him,” she continued on. Her voice, though melodious to you always, drowned out in the sea of your thoughts. “Oh, shoot, (Y/N), I lost track of time, I have to head out,” she glances at her phone, the lone notification on it telling you everything you needed to know. “Same time next week?” She asks.

“Yeah, I’m always free,” you nodded.

“Do you want me to walk you to your car? I know you don’t like to be alone,” she says it with a painful jab. But it was the truth. You hated walking alone as much as you hated being alone but, still, you shook your head.

“I think I’ll stay here for a bit longer.”

“Sounds good, get home safe, (Y/N)!” She packs her things.

“You too. Bye,” you waved and watched her go, leaving you sitting in the café. Goodbye.

That’s how you said goodbye to your first love.

The time was 2:30 pm in the afternoon. In a quiet café, seated at the counter near the very back, and with no more patrons than fingers on one of your hands. You could hear coffee brewing behind you, and the playlist of the day was soft jazz. The cup just a finger away had long gotten cold, forgotten as you listened to your friend’s love story, and your tablet just minutes from dying. You looked down at your notes and read through a few lines, but you didn’t know what to do, you didn’t know what to think. You were heartbroken, sure, you had to be. Your first love, the person you had fallen in love with years before and the person who you continued to love, had found someone else. Someone else who made her smile wider than before, someone else who she found herself thinking of at random points of the day, and someone else who made her feel happier than before. And that someone wasn’t you. It was your fault, really. How could she ever come to love you if you’ve never in mustered the courage to even come out to her? You couldn’t breeze through love with another woman the same way you could with another man.

You were so happy for her, she deserved this so much. But, god, when will it be your turn?

You turned your tablet off and started to pack your things. Might as well go home, then. You only agreed to go out today because she was the one who asked.

“Thank you,” you nodded your head toward the barista before heading out. It was only six in the evening, but still the sun had long set. People moved around you, couples, families, and friends alike. You pulled your hood over your backpack and started to move toward your car. Once you got there, you sat at the driver’s seat and locked your doors. Your keys remained in your hand, however, and instead of starting the car, you relaxed against your seat and sighed.

That was truly the end, wasn’t it? You checked your phone and saw the message from her. She arrived home safely. You smiled, but quickly caught yourself as you liked her message and tossed your phone on the passenger’s seat.

You said goodbye to your first love, and now you can focus on her friendship instead. Good for you, and good for her.

“I thought you said that dating apps weren’t your thing, (Y/N),” your classmate chimes.

“Eh, figured I’d give it a shot,” you continued to mindlessly swipe. It was true, you were more into meeting people “organically” but, well with today’s day and age, this seemed to be the more sufficient way to do things. Your classmate peered over your shoulder and you turned the screen away from him, but not before he could see who you’d hesitated over.

“Whoa, (Y/N), I didn’t know you swung for that team,” he says, disappointment in his voice.

“I mean… yeah, I like girls and guys, so what?” You shrugged, turning your phone off instead. The confession felt weird. Had you ever said it before? No, not really, you were just annoyed that the first person you technically came out to was a boy you’d just met a few minutes earlier.

“Then, why don’t we go out on a date then?” He teases.

“I’m not really into dating right now,” you said.

“Then why are you on Tinder?” He asks.

“Just cuz,” you shrugged. You just didn’t want to date him. Before he could respond, the sounds of rustling backpacks signaled the end of class. “See you next week,” you chucked your things into your bag before rushing off. You didn’t want to delve into a conversation you didn’t have time for, much less with someone who gave you massive icks with everything he said. While you made your way to your next lecture, you opened your phone again, looking at the profile you’d just hovered over.

Somi Douma, 21. She had a few pictures you could tap through. She’s really pretty, you had to admit that much. Pisces, in college, looking for something short but open to long, love language is touch, not into smoking, not into drugs. Her profile was so much like the others you’d swiped left on before, but something really stood out to you on it. You swiped right on it.

It's a match! You felt your heart stop. You? She swiped right on you before? No way. Not with the random, half a year old selfies you chose to populate your profile with. You didn’t even look all that good in them what with no makeup or fancy hairdos. You put your phone away and rushed to lecture. You couldn’t understand the cold feet you suddenly got, shouldn’t you feel some sort of validation? Some kind of joy from getting a match? You swallowed harshly. Had you ever gone on a date with another woman before? Had you ever gone on a date before? You squeezed your hands together and entered your next lecture, taking the first seat you found open.

“Hey, (Y/N),” your study group finds you easily and your first friend, Keeho, was the one to call out to you. Then three others took their seats around you. “Everything alright?” He asks you.

“Uh, yeah,” you answered vaguely. You chewed on the inside of your cheek. “Just worried about how I’m going to study for this class,” you mumbled. Keeho eyed you wearily, but decided to leave the subject. Maybe it was you being full of yourself, but you could swear you saw the admiration in his eyes. It was the same way you’d look at your first love but you knew for a fact that you didn’t even want to try anything with him. It was hard enough to make friends in college, you could only imagine how hard it would be to lose them. Your phone buzzed in your pocket and you stole a quick glance. Big mistake on your part, the ‘Tinder’ tag line and the simple ‘New Message from Somi’ nearly sent you into cardiac arrest. You put your phone away and covered the lower half of your face with your hand, but this didn’t go unnoticed to your other friend.

“(Y/N)?” Yeji places a hand on your shoulder. “All good?” She asks.

“Just fine,” you told her with a heated face and a racing heart. You didn’t expect either of you to make the first move, granted, and you definitely didn’t expect to see a message just minutes after you matched together, it was too sudden. Making that account was supposed to be a joke, a spur of the moment thing you did with your friend, the same one you’d crushed on before and the one you’re one sidedly getting over too. You never expected to use this app seriously, and you definitely didn’t expect to find someone at all.

“Earth to (Y/N),” Jaemin leaned down and waved his hand, pulling you back into reality. “Your shit’s in the way,” he eyes your backpack.

“Oh, shit, sorry, Jaem,” you pulled your bag into your lap and, ahh there it went, your phone landed on the floor and the screen lit up, the Tinder notification taunting you, but you were fast to pick it up while everyone was preoccupied talking to Jaemin about the content in today’s lecture.

Close call, you shook your head and joined in with them.

But why did you even feel shame about it in the first place?

You looked at the lone notification on your phone sent now six hours ago. You didn’t know what to do with it. You didn’t think that anyone would swipe on your profile, much less someone as attractive as her. But you steeled yourself, laying down in your bedroom, you tapped on the notif and Tinder opened right up.

‘Hi, I’m Somi! I see we matched :) Why don’t we get to know each other better? 20 questions?’

You typed out a response.

‘Hi! I’m (Y/N). I’d love to get to know you better, I’m down. Should I ask the first question?’

‘Yeah, shoot!’ Her response was immediate and you thought for a second.

‘Are you bisexual too?’ It was missing from her profile, her sexuality you mean. But, to be fair, so was yours.

‘Lesbian, actually. How about you?’

‘That counts as a question! I’m bi… I think.’

‘You think? You just asked if I was.’

‘I’m not sure yet.’ There was a pause before her response.

‘Do you want to find out?’

‘I mean… yeah.’

‘Haha, you’re cute! Okay, I think I see why you joined this app now lol. After this game, wanna meet up?’

You looked around your bedroom. You were a commuter student, and one who, of course, couldn’t fucking drive.

“(Y/N)!” Your mom’s voice was sudden. “Dinner’s downstairs!”

“I’ll be there, mom!” You answered back. You looked at your phone.

‘Sure, maybe not today, though, I’m already at home.’

‘? Do you commute?’

‘Yeah, I’m like twenty ish miles away from my campus.’

‘Ohhh, where do you go to school?’

‘BLU! You?’

‘No wayyyyy same!’

You paused. She was closer than you thought.

‘What major?’

‘Mathematics. You?’

‘Biochemistry.’

‘Whoaaaa I’ve matched with a genius, huh?’

‘Math’s cool, though, I could never, I lose my mind over trig alone!’

‘Same, lol! But still, it’s crazy to think that we’re so close.’

‘I know! What year? If you don’t mind me asking.’

‘It’s one of your 20, so why not lol? I’m a third year. You?’

‘Aha… first year…’

‘Whoaaaaaa so you’re fresh into the college scheme, huh?’

‘A little, yeah.’

‘Aww, I remember when I first started out too! Hey, if you’re comfortable with it then we should meet up!’

Again, you stopped typing. Was this how dating was supposed to go about? Then again, she was looking for something casual, so you had to take that into account, and you wanted to know if your loveless life was due to you pursuing the wrong gender this whole time. All of grade school you’d gone without once being liked romantically, and to those flitting crushes you did garner the courage for they all laughed at your confessions, was this really your only chance at feeling wanted? You placed your phone on your chest and sighed, but then you felt it vibrate once more.

‘If it’s too soon don’t worry about it! We’re basically strangers, is all, and I’d like to get to know you better. Your profile says that you’re looking for something short and casual, right?’

‘Uh… yeah. To be honest I wasn’t 100% sure what it meant.’

‘Aww! A freshman indeed! Do you want the full graphic answer?’

You felt your face start to burn up. She sent you another message before you could type anything more.

‘I mean, it doesn’t have to be sexual. We can do cuddle buddies instead.’ You didn’t even think it had anything to do with sex. Short and casual? You had no idea what that would have entailed at all. Even with some thought into it you couldn’t piece it together.

‘Cuddle buddies?’

‘Yeah. It’s like FWB except without the sex lol.’ Never mind, you knew exactly what ‘short and casual’ meant now.

‘Well…’

‘You’re an adult, right? Your profile says so but I just want to be sure.’

‘I am!’

‘Okay! Just checking! But it’s up to you. Then again, you can just delete this convo and pretend that nothing happened.’

‘I don’t want to do that…’

‘Okay then! Just let me know, don’t leave me hanging, (Y/N)! Plus, you seem so chill compared to others on this app so I’d like to at least be friends!’

‘Yeah, ofc! I’ll have to text you later tho, to finish the game, I mean!’

‘Yeah, no prob! I’ll text you later <;3’

And the conversation ended. You placed your phone on the nightstand next to you and rolled over in your blankets. Something casual? Friendship? Something… sexual? You shuddered. You didn’t even think about it that way. You were still a virgin, no experience, no thoughts, you’d never really paid too much mind to doing anything like that. Well, you’d done some masturbation here and there, who hasn’t by this age? But nothing with another person. Your face was burning up now, something you tried to cool down by turning your pillow over and laying face down on it.

“(Y/N)?” Your mom calls you down again. “Dinner!”

“I’ll be there!” You answered.

There’s the other problem. You’re not out to anyone, well, except for that stranger who wouldn’t leave you alone earlier. What would your parents think of you? They worked so hard to help you get to where you are today, they are working so hard to help you achieve your dreams, what would they think of you if you told them this? As much as you loved your parents, and truly you did, you knew their thoughts and opinions on homosexuality and how its representation is being handled in today’s age. The words of your mother rang clear.

‘Honey, it’s okay if you are, but I’d prefer you not to be.’ And you stood by those words all your life. Such a small statement that she said to you when your best friend came out, and one that you hardly talk to anymore. She said that to you when you were in middle school and now here you were, in college, and probably, most likely, very gay. Who the hell says that to a thirteen year old anyway?

Well, actually, your mom apparently. You couldn’t blame her, though, considering the state of politics at that time. She was a mother who was afraid of what would happen to her daughter for being who she was, and you couldn’t fault her for that intention, you could only fault her for the execution.

Then, rapid knocks at your door lead you to shove your phone under your pillow just in time for it to swing open.

“Hey! Mom’s calling us! Let’s go before she comes up here,” your younger sibling urges you to follow.

“Yeah, I’ll be there,” you scrambled off your bed and ran downstairs, leaving your phone behind.

“Okay, just something casual, cuddle buddies, yup, just something casual, cuddle buddies, mmhmm,” you recited to yourself.

The time was 12:00 pm in the afternoon. The sun was high in the sky and the air was heavy with a dry heat. And here you were, standing in front of an apartment unit. You started having second thoughts, was it really a good idea to play into dating app culture? Was it a good idea to agree to meet up with Somi in person? What if you’d just been catphished? What if she’s a crazy axe murderer looking for her next victim? What if you just didn’t vibe with her in person versus through text? Was it too late to turn around and say that you couldn’t find her apartment? Well, yes, you did ring the doorbell already so there was no way you could turn back now.

Then, as soon as the door in front of you opened, you felt your mind blank.

“Hi! Uh…” The woman who opened the door looked you up and down before snapping her fingers, “(Y/N), right?”

“Yup, that’s me,” you answered in a higher tone.

‘Kill me now,’ your internal thoughts shouted at you.

“Wow, I knew you were cuter in person,” Somi laughs. “Come in, come in, but leave your shoes by the door in here too,” she points to the shoe rack absently while walking in. You followed her close behind, pausing only to slip your converse off, and continuing on. “I know, it’s a small place, but at least I have it to myself,” she speaks up. “How was the drive here?”

“Oh, uh, I walked actually.”

“You walked?!” She turned to you briefly with a shocked look on her face. “It’s, like, a hundred degrees outside!”

“Yeah, but, uh, I was on campus so it was just easier,” you shrugged.

“Hold on, hon, let me get you some water! You can sit wherever,” she gestured broadly and walked into the kitchen. You took the liberty of sitting down on the couch while you watched her move about from the other side of the counter, from pulling a glass from the upper cabinet to pouring a bottle of water from next to the fridge. You heard the cubes of ice clink against the glass as she walked back to you and placed it on the coffee table in front of you, just inches away from some fashion magazine she had. “So… tell me about yourself,” she says with a light tone.

“Oh, um…” This felt a little strange. Normally, weren’t first dates in cafes or bookstores? Come to think of it, you vaguely remembered a PSA saying something about not going to stranger’s houses for first dates. Was this a good idea? Did you make a good choice? What were you doing here again? Why? Huh? You felt like you’d enclosed yourself and built up another wall. You were afraid of opening up to this woman, this person you’d just met. Why did you think it was a good idea to come into her home? Dense. It’s like you forgot all the Crime Watch Dailys and 20/20 episodes your mom made you watch with her.

“(Y/N)?”

“Oh, um,” you repeated yourself and shook your head. “Sorry,” you shook your head.

“No, no, it’s okay!” She waved her hand in front of her. “You’re new to this kind of thing, huh?” She asks.

“Yeah… very,” you admitted. “I’m sorry, I know you were probably expecting something else but…”

“No, it’s fine!” She reassures you. “To be honest, I’m not too experienced either. I actually recently moved here! I transferred to BLU this year,” she says.

“Oh? From where?”

“I was raised in Korea, actually,” she nods.

“Korea? Wow!” You commented. “So why did you transfer here then? That States are so far away,” you shook your head slightly.

“Aw, you know, the usual! I wanted to get out and be independent from my parents for a bit, go on an adventure, and, hell why not, get my degree while doing it,” she says. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love them a lot! And they were really supportive of me coming out here so I have to be grateful, but, you know how it goes.”

“I do, I do, I wish I tried harder to convince my parents to let me move out for at least a year,” you shook your head.

“Oh! You’re commuting?”

“Yup, and, of course, I don’t have my license so that’s probably why they encouraged me to stay home too,” you sighed with a slight eye roll.

“Awh, but that’s so sweet that your parents care like that,” she says.

“Yeah, I guess,” you nodded slightly and you rubbed your arms up and down. “So, uh, why math?” You changed the subject.

“Oh, I’m terrible at it, like, really really bad at math,” she laughs, “but I love a challenge! And math is such a challenge, my god, I have fun with it so I decided to major in it,” she says. “And you? Biochemistry is a toughie.”

“God, you don’t even know,” you held your head with one hand before letting it fall to your lap again. Somehow, you found yourself relaxing into this conversation, any awkwardness you felt earlier started to fall away. “I’m on the premed route, actually, and biochem was just that fastest way to complete my pre-reqs,” you explained.

“Oo, premed? That’s cool!” She whistles. “You always wanted to be a doctor?”

“I mean, I guess, I had a phase where I wanted to be an astronaut, actually.”

“Didn’t we all?” She laughs. “Well, I wanted to be a stewardess for a while, but then I realized I hate flying,” she shakes her head.

“I found out I had motion sickness so I tossed that idea out really quickly,” you laughed along with her while holding your glass of water. The ice had long melted already and all that was left was the cool condensation surrounding the glass.

“You know what, (Y/N), you’re really cool,” she says softly. “I’m glad we matched.”

“Me too, it’s been kind of rough meeting new people since I started here a couple weeks ago,” you nodded.

“Yeah, that’s right, I haven’t really found my crowd either. I have groups here and there, but no one I’d definitely call a ‘good’ friend,” she says. Did you even have one? Well, the closest would be that study group you had now, the bonds from orientation apparently are very strong. “But, I dunno, you seem sweet so I’m sure people will gravitate toward you,” she smiles.

“Yeah?”

“Oh, yeah!” She says with a wide smile. “Say, why don’t we finish up that game? We still have a couple questions left.”

“Sounds good, you can go first,” you invited her.

“Nice,” she thinks for a moment, “when was your first kiss?” She asks. You drank some of your water.

“You can’t laugh.”

“I won’t!”

“Two months ago,” you said after taking a deep breath.

“Two?!” She gasps. You nodded curtly. “Whoa…”

“And you?”

“Middle school, on accident, I slipped on the wet floor and fell on top of this guy,” she laughed.

“Holy shit, that sounds like it’d hurt! For me it was in orientation. My roommate was a lesbian and she asked if me or out third liked girls too and I told her I wasn’t sure so she asked if I wanted to find out and I said yeah and… well, here I am,” you explained.

“Wow… and you’ll never know if she was a good kisser.”

“I didn’t hate it!”

“But you have no one to go on,” Somi reasons. She wasn’t wrong. You weren’t 100% sure how you were supposed to go about a kiss anyway, you just let your roommate at the time take control and you went with it. “Okay, okay, let’s settle it down a little. Coffee or tea?”

“Coffee, definitely.”

“Right, biochem.”

“You?”

“I’ve really been into tea lately!”

“Right, math,” you laughed.

“Hey! It’s good for you,” she fires back. “Okay, hm, what do you think of me so far?”

“I think you’re very nice,” you answered. “But, I’ll be honest, I was a little worried when you asked me to meet you at your apartment,” you admitted. “Respectfully, I barely know you.”

“No, you’re right! As soon as I sent that text I was like ‘God! What was I thinking?’ and here you are!” She gestures toward you. “I’m glad you agreed, though, I hope I’m not too awkward.”

“You? Awkward?” You were in disbelief. She’d only been sweet and, if anything, she’s carrying the conversation. “I’m sorry for being awkward,” you corrected.

“Oh, please, I just thought you were being polite,” she says. “Say, I don’t want to ruin the mood or anything, but were you serious about cuddle buddies?”

Whoops, you forgot about that.

“I mean… I’m down to try it,” and suddenly you felt your walls building again. “But could you run by me what we’d be doing again?” You asked, diverting your eyes only slightly before looking at her again.

“Sure, we’d just be cuddling,” she explains. “No strings attached, we’d just call or text one another when we need some affection and then voila, we cuddle,” she continues.

“That’s it?”

“Yup. I mean, unless you want something more out of it, but I’m perfectly fine with just keeping it as friendly cuddling.”

Friendly? Were you even looking for something romantic? Was she? Were you? Did you even know how to notice those cues?

“Did you want something romantic?” You asked. She thought for a moment.

“To be honest… not right now,” she shook her head. “I’m still getting into the swing of things in this new university, but at the same time, I, uh…” she trails off while she squeezes her arms. “I don’t know. Haven’t you had times where you just wanted to be held?”

Of course.

“Yeah, I get it, we can do that then, cuddle buddies,” you answered.

“Okay then! The deal is set,” she nods.

“I might be awkward at first, though, I have to admit I’ve never really cuddled anyone before.”

“Really? Oh, (Y/N), you’re missing out!” She says. “I mean, we don’t have to try it today, but I’m just saying, it’s a really nice experience.”

“I’ll hold you to that, then,” you glanced at your watch, something she easily caught onto.

“I didn’t mean to keep you if you had anything,” she mumbled.

“Oh, no, it’s nothing. I just um… can’t drive, so my parents pick me up,” you explained. “So I should probably start heading back to campus,” you cleared your throat.

“Yeah, I get it! Have a safe walk back and thanks again for agreeing to meet with me! I’ll walk you to the door,” she says before following you up. “We’ll text later?”

“Of course,” you nodded and she opened the door for you.

“Bye, now!”

“See you.” She waved at you one last time before closing the door. Afterwards, you pivoted on your heel and walked off toward the apartment’s staircase, a strange warm feeling enveloping in your chest and a small smile on your face.

Okay, so maybe that wasn’t the train wreck you were afraid it’d be, actually, you’d say it went really well. Then, as you reached the bottom of the stairs and stepped out of the complex, your phone buzzed in your pocket. You shot a quick glance at it.

‘Heyyy! Look up behind you!’ You did so and Somi waved at you from her balcony. You waved back with a smile and she pointed to her phone again before shooting you another message. This time it was a picture of her schedule, something which you responded with a picture of your own as you walked off, chancing another look back to see her waiting for you to go. Again, you waved, and she waved back. Then, with you back turned to her, you continued down the sidewalk back to campus.

In no time at all, you were at the pickup area, spotting your dad’s car waiting for you. As soon as he saw you approaching, he moved out of the driver’s seat and into the passenger side and you felt your shoulders slump. It’s not that you dreaded these mini driving lessons, it’s more like it was too hot for you to even think about them.

Then again, if you got your license sooner, maybe you’d be able to meet up with Somi more? That’d be nice, you really enjoyed your time with her earlier.

“How was you day?” Your dad asked as soon as you slid into the car. Amazing.

“Good and… hot,” you answered while putting your seatbelt on. “Why’d you ask?”

“You just look like something good happened,” he answered. You pulled the car out of park and into drive. “Check your mirrors.”

“Oh, right,” you adjusted them.

“Always put the car on ‘park’ before you do that. Your car might roll forward.”

“Right, right.”

“And always step on the brake pedal too.”

“Got it, dad.”

“Look over your shoulder before you go.”

“I know.”

The extent of all your conversations with him have just been this. Driving. You were grateful he was teaching you but sometimes it felt so hard to talk to him about anything else.

~ You both continued to text back and forth after that. But you hadn’t met up, no, the extent of your friendship had been exchanged via Tinder. More and more questions back and forth, the occasional TikTok, and every now and then the late night texts asking each other seemingly pointless questions, and it was like that for almost two weeks. Your schedules actually lined up really well, given the two year difference, and a lot of gaps between your classes lined up with hers. So it wasn’t like you couldn’t meet up, more like neither of you had the opportunity or maybe either of you were too shy to make the first move after that initial meeting.

“Holy shit that lecture was so boring,” Yeji yawned next to you.

“Don’t even get me started,” Keeho rubbed his tired face.

“God, it’s only week four,” you muttered into your hands. “Is Jaemin still with us?” You looked over at the fourth member of the study group, but he walked along silently with his eyes glued forward.

“Nope,” Keeho laughs. “Let’s go get some coffee. (Y/N) you’re down to study with us after English, right?” He asks.

“Uh… let me ask,” you pulled your phone out, sending a quick text to your mom asking to stay longer to study with them. Her response was near immediate, green lighting it for you. “Yeah, I’m good to go. Where are we studying at?”

“Probably the Sciences Library,” Yeji answers.

“Sounds like a plan,” you nodded. “You guys grabbing lunch?”

“I’m down,” Keeho shrugs.

“I’m hungry,” Jaemin adds.

“Darn, I have econ, I’ll meet you guys after if you’re still together!” Yeji says.

“Yeah, okay,” you waved at her while she bounded off toward her next lecture hall.

“Let’s eat, I have meal swipes if you guys want to go to the dorms,” Keeho pulls his ID out.

“Sure, I’ll follow you there,” Jaemin nods. “(Y/N)?”

“Um…” You’d seen enough Crime Watch Daily to know this was probably a bad idea. Not that you didn’t trust them, but they were two guys significantly more built than you taking you to a dorm room.

“We could always just eat on campus if the walk’s too far,” Keeho, seemingly sensing your unease, came up with the alternative.

“Yeah, let’s do that,” you agreed.

“Nice, I’ve been wanting to try that pizza place anyway,” he leads the way and the two of you follow behind. “We have five hours until English, god,” he slumps his shoulders. “Talk about a waste of time.”

“I usually spend these gaps napping in my dorm, but I always end up sleeping in,” Jaemin yawns. “I bet you have it harder though, (Y/N), you commute.”

“Yeah, I can’t even go home because by the time I get there I’ll have to go back to campus. I usually just spend these gaps in the library,” you walked faster to keep pace with them.

“Shoot, I should be doing that too,” Keeho whines.

“What have you been doing, Keeho?”

“Spacing out,” he cries. “How are you two studying?”

“Good faith,” Jaemin answers.

“Notes revisions,” you sighed.

“Oh, good, I thought I was too far behind,” Keeho holds the door open for the both of you now as you enter the food hub. He checks his phone as he closes the door, skimming over the flurry of texts that filled his screen. “Damn, there’s a meeting for dance club soon, I completely forgot,” he shakes his head.

“How soon? Are you still studying with us later?” You ask.

“Uh… yeah, I should be able to study with you all for like… an hour,” his eyes move up in thought.

“Hell, we need you, Keeho! You’re the only one who knows what’s going on!” You exclaimed.

“Not even, I’m as average as everyone else,” he retaliates. Jaemin says something next, but whatever it was you weren’t paying attention. No, you were more preoccupied with the girl who was waiting next to the Chinese food station. Somi’s eyes were glued to her phone, and every so now and then when she scrolled the charm attached to it would hit her bracelet. She looked up at her phone briefly and made eye contact with you and you smiled, and she waved, and you waved back. “Earth to (Y/N), we need to come up with a study plan,” Keeho pulls you out of your thoughts and follows your gaze, seeing nothing, he refocuses back on the trio.

“Study plan, right,” you glanced at Somi, who was one again focused on her phone. “Why don’t we go old school and start with unit one?”

“I will kill myself if I have to read one more passage about the cell’s organelles,” Jaemin deadpans.

“How about we stick to the study questions then?” Keeho offers. The conversation continues, but instead you look to your side again, watching Somi pick up her food, wave at you once, then leave before you could wave back.

God, was that it? Was that the only in-person experience you’d had with her over these past weeks? That’s kind of pathetic. You started drawing scribbles with your finger against the table while resting your chin on your other hand. You’d spent all day today, yesterday, and probably will again tomorrow just thinking about her. Through your exchanged texts you started associating her with everything. Even reading the word ‘Hazelnut’ under the Lattes section of the campus café made you think about her. What was she doing now? On her schedule it said she was in some advanced mathematics lab in an hour, so there’s that.

You barely even noticed the day pass by until English lecture had ended, leaving the four of you in the library to study for your bio quiz tomorrow together.

“Oh, shoot,” Yeji silences her phone as soon as it blared.

“What’s up?” You asked.

“I gotta run to the apartment, my hell roommate is stirring the pot again,” she rolls her eyes. “Sorry, guys, I have to run and make sure she doesn’t break shit again,” Yeji grabs her scooter leaning against the bookshelf. “I’ll definitely study with you all tomorrow, though!” Yeji waves goodbye before she rushes off.

“Shit… I would hate to have a roommate like that,” Keeho shudders.

“The fact that she had to take off like that must mean that it’s serious,” Jaemin shakes his head.

“It’s okay, she’s got a good grasp on the content, I guess,” you skimmed through the textbook again. You, on the other hand, do not have a good grasp on the content.

“Actually, I gotta run too,” Keeho starts packing his things. “Dance club.”

“Ah, right! Good luck, Keeho!” You said.

“Thanks, I’ll catch you guys later!” Then he was off too. Jaemin sighed and readjusted his glasses before looking down at his iPad.

‘And then there were two,’ you wanted to joke, but to be honest you didn’t really know Jaemin all that well. You, Yeji, and Keeho went back to orientation, but Jaemin had joined the group rather recently at Keeho’s recommendation. Sure, he was the newest addition, and you had to admit that you didn’t hate spending time with him, he knew his stuff and you didn’t. He was quiet when you first met him, but now he had this teasing edge to him that you didn’t think you’d see. Still, though, that’s all you knew about him. You didn’t want to say it was awkward but…

“Is there something wrong?” He asks.

“Oh, no, nothing,” you shook your head. You didn’t even know you were staring.

Aw, hell, this is awkward.

“(Y/N)?” His voice was low to not disturb the other patrons.

“Yeah?”

“Real quick, what did you get on the respiration question? I just want to double check my math.”

“Oh, uh… 132,” you answered.

“Okay, I got the same,” you heard him scribble something on his iPad. Your phone buzzed on the table next to your textbook and you flipped it over, spotting the text from Somi.

‘Hey, are you busy rn?’ You answered right away.

‘Just studying, why?’

‘R u on campus?’

‘Yeah’

‘Think you can come over? If not, though, that’s okay!’ You read the text over again. She wants you to come over? Well, you did tell your parents that you were studying today but you didn’t want to leave Jaemin on his own, that felt a little rude. Then again, he does live on campus so he could easily go home after this.

‘Everything alright?’ You glanced over at Jaemin, who was engrossed in whatever he was doing.

‘Yeah’ was all she sent, but she was quick to send another. ‘No’ You looked at the time again, you had until 9 when your parents came to pick you up.

“Hey.”

“Jaemin?” You both spoke at the same time, both of your expressions surprised. His glasses slid down the bridge of his nose and he pushed them back up while clearing his throat.

“You first,” he insists.

“Sure, um, I just got a text from my parents, turns out I have to leave earlier than I thought,” you lied. “I’m sorry, I didn’t want to leave you alone and all, but you know how it goes.”

“Yeah, I get it, we’ll probably figure something out in the group chat,” he shrugs. “See you tomorrow.”

“Wait, what were you going to say?”

“Nothing important,” he shakes his head. “Get home safe.”

“You too,” you grabbed your things and walked off in the direction toward Somi’s apartment. This marked the second time you’d been there, and although it was straight shot from campus you still had to double check Maps to be sure you were going the right way. Your feet moved quickly, whether that was because you wanted to see her again or because you were worried, and maybe it was both, you moved with purpose. Wait, never mind, it was the anxiety. You looked every which way while you walked and you occasionally looked over your shoulder, something which would send you into momentary embarrassment when you made eye contact with some random passerby that you knew for a fact wasn’t stalking you. And before you knew it you were scrolling through contacts on your phone, but then a new anxiety hit.

You didn’t know who to call. Or, rather, you had no one to call. Yeji was a no, the worst case scenario is that you call her while her and her roommate were caught up in some intense screaming match, which has happened to you before. Keeho was a no too, he was at dance club and you didn’t want to bother him. All of your high school friends were off limits too, you knew that none of them would answer, you’re not a priority anymore after somehow becoming the low maintenance friend. It probably wasn’t a good idea to call Somi right now, plus, you’d see her in a few minutes anyway. So that left one person.

Jaemin.

But were you even close enough to do that? Close enough to call him and ask him something as simple as just staying on the line? You’d laugh if you were him. So, instead, you toughed it out. You tried to control your breathing, you tried to stay focused in front of you, and you tried to keep yourself calm. But at all times your hands clutched onto your pepper spray, your knuckles whitening from the pressure and your palms aching from it too.

Her apartment couldn’t have been any closer. You knew the walk was only ten minutes at the most but it felt like hours for you and, as soon as you’d knocked on her door, she opened it after your first knock and you felt your heart drop. There were tears in her eyes and down her face, her hair had been pulled at and tugged every which way, and her hands shook when they clasped against each other. She looked at you for only a moment longer before she shook her head and brought her hands up to either side of her head, them shaking more than before, and she shook her head again. You locked the door behind you and stepped forward, doing what you thought was right, and wrapped your arms around her shoulders to bring her head against your neck. Quietly, she sobbed. Her body shook against yours and you held her tighter while you rubbed her back gently. She held you even tighter, just like you were the only person grounding her.

But you really didn’t know what to say. You didn’t know if you should be doing anything else other than holding her like this, or if you should even be holding her a certain way. But one thing you did know, however, was that she definitely needed someone right now. And the way she started to wobble in her stance you knew it’d be better for her to sit down. So, you led her to the couch and told her that you’d be back, then you traced her steps when you first came to her apartment. You pulled out a glass from the top cabinet, some ice from the freezer, and you poured water from the water bottle next to the fridge before placing it in front of her and sitting by her side. Slowly, her head falls on your shoulder, and you readjust yourself on the couch so that you could pull her close to you while she cried.

Was this the time for you to ask her what was wrong? Should you even pry?

“I’m sorry,” she says between muted sobs.

“Don’t apologize,” you told her. “Did you want to talk about it?” She shook her head and you nodded.

“Just… stay like this for a while,” she says. You nodded again and you felt her shift so that she was more comfortable under you. “You can put something on too, if you want,” she says.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I like the white noise,” she responds while she hands you the remote. You flipped through Netflix looking for really anything to watch, then you noticed the series of half watched nature documentaries on her Recently Watched. Without more thought to it, you selected Our Planet and started it from the beginning.

The time was 5:00 pm in the evening. You had four hours to be with her and to make sure she was alright, and you had no idea how fast time would go while you were sitting on this couch with her watching some generic nature documentary. But, slowly, as the documentary continued she began to comment more on the animals and their narrator, and just as slowly you relaxed into your position and your arms felt more natural around her almost like they’d always meant to be there.

It was like a domino effect after that. She called you over more often now, sometimes just to talk and sometimes to not talk at all, then there was the routine of watching whatever nature documentary either of you could find for the remainder of your time together. Your parents applauded you and very near bragged about you to their family members about how “studious” you were staying behind at school to work with your study group and, hey, as long as you kept your grades up you could keep this charade going. Besides, it’s not like your parents knew who you really were anyway, and it’s not like you’d ever tell them either.

Leading to now, while you laid your head down on Somi’s chest, usually it’s the other way around but you figured you’d try it this way once and, good god she was right. One of her hands was on your arm and the other held the remote. Today was the first day you initiated, you asked her first if you could come over to her apartment and she said yes, thank god. You didn’t want to impose but today you felt like you just had to see her. Today you felt like you wanted to be the one held rather than being the one who did the holding.

“Oh, what do you think of this one, (Y/N)?” She asks. The cursor was hovered over a documentary about the oceans.

“Sure, honestly, I’m a little tired anyway…” you mumbled.

“Ah, so good white noise then, huh?” She nuzzles her head against yours and presses play before tossing the remote to the side. “How was your day?” You relaxed into her chest.

“Good… good…”

“Doesn’t sound good,” she comments.

“I mean…” you thought back to your argument with your mom. Then you thought about how you lied to her, and how you’d been lying to her. She just told you that you were staying out too late, that you’d been “studying” enough, and you lied to her and said that you needed to study more, but the truth was that you’d been coming here. You’d been coming here during your gaps between lectures, you’d been coming here when you weren’t studying with your friends, and you’d even been coming here in your dreams. Always here, and always with her. Your heart raced whenever you saw her name on your phone and your heart pounded whenever you saw something that reminded you of her. But you wanted to keep a good thing good. Besides, it’s not like you were expecting anything from her. She never told you about her troubles so why would you tell her about yours? “I don’t really want to talk about it right now,” you squeezed her gently and you heard her sigh.

“Okay, if that’s what you want,” she conceded. The narrator of the documentary drowned out to you while you took your time to just be in the moment. The sun had long set and you’d been here for a while now, having come straight here right after your study session. Your dad told you much earlier to text him when you wanted him to come pick you up but you didn’t want to go home.

And that’s what you texted him a few hours ago.

‘Dad, I’m staying over at a friend’s apartment to study. You remember her, right? We studied together all the time in high school.’ You felt bad for using your longtime crush for this.

‘You should come home.’

‘I have an important exam tomorrow.’

‘Ask your mom.’

You ended up not doing that. Besides, she has your location anyway, yet another reason why you had that argument with her.

You took a deep breath to calm yourself and just above you Somi started to hum a small tune. Your breath stilled for a brief moment, feeling like the tune was more delicate than a thin pane of glass and that your thoughts were a large speaker waiting to be turned on. Quietly, you listened to the rest of the song as if it was the only thing you could hear and you felt yourself relax. You always loved being here, it was like a world away from the one you come from. A place where you know you are heard and listened to, a place where you could be yourself without fear of judging eyes and whispering lips.

“What song is that?” You asked her.

“Just a tune I used to hear a lot when I was younger,” Somi says. “I used to have this music box back at home, it was a small one made of wood and when you opened it there was the white flower that would spin around in front of a mirror that was on the lid. Technically, it was my mom’s, but I would always wind it up when I saw it. I just thought it was so pretty,” she says. “Then she would tell me this story about how my dad got it for her and what it all meant and all that romantic crap,” she added with a laugh.

“Don’t leave me hanging now,” you made a move to slip away from her but there was that slight tug back from her and you stayed in your position, “what’s the story?”

“It’s a classic. Back when they were just dating, my mom and dad had met in one of those love at first sight meet-cutes. But my mom had to come back to Korea while my dad stayed behind in Canada so he bought her that music box and a matching one for himself. They made a promise to play it at the same time every day. For my dad, it was the first thing he did in the morning. For my mom, it was the last thing she did before she slept.”

“That is so romantic,” you sighed. Imagine a kind of love like that, one that transcended distance and grew stronger because of it, and even the commitment to incorporate something as simple as winding up a music box into one’s daily routine was already a movie-worthy act of love in your book.

“I mean… yeah, my parents were the hopeless romantic types,” she says.

“Hey, um… you’re sure I can stay over, right?” You asked her.

“Yeah, of course,” she nods. “You can take the bed, I’ll sleep here.”

“Wait, but are you sure? I can sleep on this couch, not like I haven’t before,” you insisted.

“Well, yeah, but those were just because of your fucked sleep schedule, (Y/N), but since you’re actually staying over I want to treat you like a proper guest,” she says. “Actually, let me get you a change of clothes real quick,” she separates from you and disappears into her room. You, meanwhile, turned to the TV, but you couldn’t stay focused on whatever was playing, being too preoccupied with the realization of wow. You’re staying the night at Somi’s apartment and she was totally cool with it. Part of you wondered if she’d say yes if you’d ask her to sleep in bed with you and part of you wondered what it would be like to be in her arms for a whole night, but was that too much to ask? Was that a boundary that you shouldn’t cross? You felt yourself start to press down on your fingernails, a habit you’d developed instead once you realized how destructive biting your nails was.

You wondered if she was as anxious as you right now.

Was it just you or was she taking a while to come out?

You looked around the apartment and you just realized it now. There were traces of you all over. Small keepsakes of things in your favorite color, small things that you owned, and small things that you’ve gifted her. You were surprised to see them all adorning various spaces and you wondered why she chose to display them. Even the blanket that was between you and the couch was something you’d picked out for her when she sent you a picture of five different colors and asked which would’ve suited her style better.

And it was true for you as well. You’d been picking up and buying things that reminded you of her constantly. Things in her favorite color, things that she owned, and things she’s gifted you. If you just took a step back and looked at the both of you from an outside perspective you’d probably think that you were in love… and maybe you were.

“Sorry for the hold up, (Y/N),” Somi returned, changed into pajamas, and with an oversized tee and a pair of shorts and handed them to you. “You know where the bathroom is.”

“Yup, I’ll be back,” you walked off and closed the door behind you, catching yourself in the mirror. You rubbed the smudged makeup under your eye and shook your head. “God… but how could she be in love with a wreck like me?” You mumbled. You pulled your shirt over your head and paused for a moment longer, taking in your reflection once more. After a moment passed, you turned your back to the mirror and continued changing, and once you’d finished you folded your clothes neatly and walked back out to shove them into your backpack.

“Ooh, you look cozy,” she opens her arms and, once more, you found yourself nestled between them.

“And you feel cozy,” you responded.

“Oh, I definitely do now,” she grins. “Now, where were we in this show? God, I love manatees, they’re just so sweet.”

“I know! So friendshaped.”

“Absolutely friendshaped!” Somi gushed.

“I used to have this three-foot manatee plush that I’d sleep with when I was younger and when I tell you I brought that thing everywhere I mean it,” you recounted.

“Now that I can see you doing,” she shifts to be more comfortable. “You seem like a huge stuffed animal gal.”

“I need to show you my collection some time.”

“A collection?”

“Yes. I’ve never thrown out a stuffed toy since I was born.”

“Oh my god, you’re a hoarder.”

“Hey, not true! I just took Toy Story a little too seriously,” you defended.

“Okay, okay, that’s fair, I love Toy Story,” she concedes. “Actually… did you want to watch it?”

“Actually? Yeah, I’m down.”

“Nice, okay,” she stands up. “I have it on DVD, but the player is in my room, you cool with moving over there?”

“Yeah, yeah,” you nodded and followed her into her bedroom.

This was the first time you’d been in here. Unsurprisingly, her bedroom really screamed ‘Somi.’ The bedroom itself was similar to the rest of the apartment with it’s neutral tones and wooden furniture, off in the corner of the room was a full sized bed with a few select stuffed animals on it and off to another was a relatively simple PC set up with the TV mounted on the wall above it such that it faced the bed. There was a dresser and a clothes rack off in the other corner of the room and in the center was a round rug to fill in the space.

“Hey, you can come join me here now,” Somi pats the bed next to her and you sit down carefully. “What, I change up the scenery and you get all shy again?” She teases and you felt your face heat up.

“I mean… well,” you swallowed nervously. “No…” you finally pushed out and you moved closer to her. She turns the TV on and skips through the trailers before starting the movie. Were you getting shy again? True, you felt this lingering sense of awkwardness around you, but that was normal. Maybe being in her bedroom did change the mood a little, but you didn’t want to say anything and risk it all. The only thing you really cared about, though, was that this was so much more comfortable than the couch, and you were living for it. Every now and then you’d hear a small chuckle from her or a muted coo and it just sent your heart into a flurry. Secretly you hoped that she felt the same, but you knew better than to be selfish.

You didn’t even realize you’d fallen asleep until the sunlight danced over you the next morning. The space next to you was empty but there were signs of someone sleeping there earlier, and you could smell the faint aroma of pancakes.

Pancakes? Oh, she’s really spoiling you here.

You pushed yourself off of the bed and wandered back out of the room and spotted Somi at the stove, a stack of pancakes slowly growing on the counter next to her, and you quietly sat yourself at the counter while you watched her ministrations. You didn’t realize it until now, but she was very clean when it came to these things. Spilled pancake batter was wiped up immediately, her hands were kept washed the entire time, and the pancake stack was near pristine. The coffee machine next to you beeped and signaled that it was done.

“(Y/N), be a dear and pour some coffee for us,” she says without turning around.

“Yeah, sure,” you took the two mugs in front of it and prepared both of them. “Two sugars and cream, right?”

“That’s right,” she slides another pancake onto the stack while you added creamer into her mug. “I wasn’t sure which kind you liked, so I made blueberry pancakes and cinnamon ones too,” she says.

“Whoa, talk about boujee pancakes,” you teased.

“I just like to add a little bit of flair,” she takes the plate and turns around to place it between you both. “So, give it a taste,” she hands you a fork.

“They smell amazing,” you cut a piece and tried your first bite, “and they taste amazing too,” you were quick to go in for another.

“Thank you, thank you,” she holds down the pancake with her fork while you pull a piece off with yours. “Did you sleep well?”

“One of the best one’s I had in a while,” you covered your mouth with your hand as you spoke, mainly out of habit than anything. “How about you?”

“Ditto,” she nods. “I ended up falling asleep partway through the movie.”

“Same, I don’t even remember what the last scene I saw was.”

“Oh, hon, you fell asleep as soon as they got to Sid’s house.”

“Really? So you fell asleep after me then!”

“Pretty sure, yeah, you are so quiet when you’re asleep that I didn’t even realize I was the only one watching the movie.”

“Oh, dammit, we’re going to have to watch it again some time for sure then!”

“Next time you sleepover then,” she says.

“Definitely,” you answered without another thought.

The time was 9 in the morning. You knew that both of you had classes in two hours, but at that time it didn’t seem like either of you cared. Instead you were both more preoccupied with the person in front of them and how their eyes seemed to have a different shine in them than before, and there was also that new and slight upturn of one another’s lips that signaled a soft and sweet enjoyment that can only be found in the mornings when you are just barely awake, the first of what you hoped would be many.

And many it was. At this rate it was like you were living together with how often you stayed over. What was once only a few of your items became many. In the medicine cabinet next to the bathroom sink there were now two toothbrushes, the shelves were overflowing with various skincare products, the number of towels doubled, and suddenly the shampoo and conditioner bottles ran out faster. More food stocked the fridge and pantries, and the dishes piled faster than before. There was a slight and subtle change to the aesthetics of the apartment what with your own creative additions on top of Somi’s. Yours and her clothing mixed together, your styles adapting to one another, and soon you both realized that you were wearing the same outfits.

From an outsider’s perspective, anyone would have put a label on what the two of you had. But you’d never know, because this world existed only in the confines of this apartment. Even if the two of you ran into each other on campus, a very rare occurrence, your interactions were limited to small smiles and short waves. Your group of friends and her group of friends remained separate and oblivious to your growing situationship, and you were both careful in how you worded your experiences with each other to them.

In truth, you had to admit it, you’d fallen hopelessly in love with this woman, and you prayed that she felt the same. Never had either of you two dare utter a single word that could have alluded to something more than your casual relationship, for you it was because you didn’t want to lose her, and for her, you think, it’s because she didn’t see you that way at all. Oh, how you want to ask, how you want to pick apart her thoughts and find out just what she really thinks of you and whether or not you have a chance. You think you love her, if love is the word that describes the way your heart beats when you see her face, if love is the word that describes the way you daydream and fantasize of a life together, and if love is the word that describes the way you yearn for her touch every day, then yes, you love her.

“Wait, repeat that?” You asked her. You had agreed to help her get ready for a night out between your classes, anything just to be around her.

“It's easy, (Y/N),” she says while holding the rollers in her hands. “Start at the bottom, roll up.”

“Okay…" you took the roller.

“You've never used a roller?”

“I only use curling irons.”

“Oh, honey, those are so bad for your hair!” Your heart fluttered.

“I know, I know!” You took a small bunch of her hair, flattened it out, and rolled it around the roller. “Too tight?”

“Just right,” she hands you a clip and you secured it in place before picking up the next roller.

“So, what's the occasion tonight?” You asked her while getting started on the other roller.

“Blind date,” she shrugs. You swallowed harshly. It was instances like this, at 2:54 in the afternoon, that held you back from asking for the truth. If you had brought up to her that you’d fallen in love, would she cut this off forever? Short and casual, that was what she had written on her profile. She told you from the get go that she wasn’t expecting romance, just comfort, and you had willingly agreed, not knowing or thinking how it would come back to bite you.

“Oh yeah?” You finally answered.

“Yeah, my friends set me up with him,” she mutters. That didn’t sound right.

“Him?” You asked. Her expression falters for a moment and she hesitates before answering.

“Yeah, him,” she confirms.

Looks like you both had the same secret, then. You wanted to probe more, though, but you knew better than to pry, and who were you to talk anyway? You’d only ever come out to that creep in your class to get him to leave you alone. Your family doesn’t know, your friends don’t know, and you barely found out recently. Then, it all made sense, the fact that you both had your own world within these walls and you didn’t dare let it slip out into the world beyond. It was that certain fear that held you both back and, hell, maybe it was that same fear that held you back from confessing your true feelings to her too. You didn't even realize you paused your actions until her eyes slid up to look at yours through your reflections.

“Okay,” you continued rolling her hair. “Have fun.” You didn’t mean for the responses to sound so curt.

“Thanks, (Y/N),” she smiles. Maybe you were imagining it, but there seemed to be some disappointment in it. Should you have said something? Should you have told her not to go? Held her back in some way? You were never good at reading people.

“All done,” you secured the last roller and leaned back.

“Whoa, you’re a natural, (Y/N),” she turns her head to either side to make sure all her hair had been tightly wrapped around the rollers. “Thanks, hon, sorry to eat up your gap time like this,” she turns to you.

“It’s fine! If I had something important I would’ve told you,” you reassured her. Truth be told, you probably should have stayed on campus. Your study group was cramming for your bio test as you spoke right now.

“I think I got it from here though, I won’t keep you if you have to study,” she says and you felt yourself pressing down on your fingernails again. Were you overthinking it? Did she want you to leave? Why would she bring that up if she wanted you to stay? You swallowed harshly yet again.

“I do have a midterm in a couple of hours…”

“Oh, shoot! Why didn’t you say so sooner?” Somi gasps. “I’m so sorry, (Y/N)!”

“No, no! Don’t apologize! It’s fine,” you waved your hand in front of you. “But, I think I’ll catch my study group, then, they should still be in the science library,” you checked the time.

“Yeah, yeah! No worries!”

“Let me know how your date goes,” you teased her.

“God, I can already feel that it’s going to be a whole train wreck,” Somi groans while she shakes her head. “I’ll see you soon, (Y/N),” she says.

“See you soon,” you grabbed your things and waved goodbye to her before leaving her apartment. You shot a quick text to your group chat, telling the rest of the study group that you were on your way.

‘Thank god, (Y/N)! You’re the only one who knows anything for this class’ You could almost hear Yeji’s voice.

‘Jaem keeps saying he knows but then we double check and he’s WRONG’ Keeho’s was as easy to hear as ever.

‘at least i’m trying’ Jaemin types the way he talks. Luckily for you, campus was only a ten minute walk away, not bad but not good either, and it took another five to get to the science library from where you were now, which left you a good three hours before your midterm.

And, in no time at all, you were seated with your study group in a room that Keeho had miraculously reserved for the whole semester. Good on him for thinking ahead, because this room had been witness to your development as a friend group. From the actual study sessions at the beginning, to the now prolonged breaks filled with trauma dumps from everyone, the third floor room 346 is a study room that will remain in your memories.

“So I told him ‘no and fuck off’ before storming out of that party,” Yeji rolls her eyes.

“(Y/N),” Jaemin said your name quietly so as not to disturb Yeji’s and Keeho’s pep talk with each other. You lean closer to him and he circles one of the practice questions with his stylus. You nod your head and look back at your worksheet.

“Oh, okay, so what you want to do first is determine the common trait those two have, then you can determine the common ancestor from that,” you explained to him.

“Got it, okay,” he returns to his world of studying while you did the same. Though seated next to each other, you each had your own bubble you stayed within, he was just so ‘in the zone’ when he studied and you were so ‘what the fuck am I doing?’ when you study that just thinking of intruding on each other would be catastrophic. But, before you could realize it, you were drawing scribbles on your notes and wondering how Somi’s date was going. You glanced at your phone, wondering if she’d send you an SOS text or start live texting the date to you, but your lock screen remained silent, with the only notifs coming in being from your classes. You focused on another question and immediately drew a blank.

“Hey, Jaem?” You glanced at the other two, who were now having a conversation about what the next best anime would be this season, before turning to Jaemin, who’s head had turned toward you while waiting for you to continue. “For number 34, does this have to do with mitochondrial genetics?”

“Uh…” he glances at his notes and flips through a few pages. “Yes?” He didn’t sound too sure. “Let me double check that, I thought it was just X-Linked genetics.”

“Wait, no, I can see that,” you looked at your notes again. “Sorry, can we compare notes really quick? I know it’s on this slide but I think I might have fallen asleep during this part of the lecture,” you slid your tablet toward him and he did the same with his and you both looked between your notes slides.

“Oh, here’s what you’re missing,” Jaemin highlighted the section that you didn’t write down.

“Thanks,” you both turned to each other and your breath caught in your throat.

Now, when did you two get so close to each other? Just inches apart and one wrong move could lead to some kind of physical contact. Jaemin’s glasses slide down the roof of his nose and, without thinking about it, you gently grabbed the junction of the arm and the frame to push it back up for him.

“Thank you too,” Jaemin was the first to pull back and, with one glance toward the other two, it became clear that they didn’t witness any of what had just happened. You turned to your notes, your body somewhat twisting away from his direction while you busied yourself with… cell anatomy. Dammit, (Y/N), if you were going to choose one slide to pretend to study at least make it something confusing like Hardy Weinberg.

But what was this feeling that creeped up on you? The way your heart skipped a beat when you turned toward him and saw just how close he was, it left your face heated and your breath unsteady. The last time you felt this way was with Somi, when you woke up from an impromptu nap and caught a small glimpse of her face while she read what had to be an engaging book of some sort. This was probably nothing, you think. It’s completely different than what you felt with Somi. You think so, at least. You shook your head, holding your hand to it to feign a headache.

“Oh, fuck, T minus one hour until that midterm,” Keeho panics.

“God, what kind of class has three midterms?! It’s called midterm for a reason!” Yeji finally opens her textbook.

“Numbers don’t define us,” Keeho mutters.

“For fucking real,” Yeji downs her coffee and focuses on the page in front of her.

Needless to say, that midterm was fucking horrible. Every single thing you had decided to ghost over because it was ‘common sense’ was worth a hefty twenty points in an exam you didn’t think would be free response. You swear you could hear the gears in your head moving on overdrive when you would have to reread another unfortunate question.

“I’m dropping out,” Yeji said as soon as you left the lecture hall.

“Numbers don’t define us,” Keeho repeated under his breath. You pulled your phone out and unsilenced it, and near instantly your phone flurried with notifications from whatever, but only two stood out to you.

‘Are you coming home today?’ Your sister.

‘Can you come over?’ Somi.

“Christ… I’m just gonna go home,” Yeji yawns. “I can’t, guys, like, I know we planned for ‘Hot Girl’ dinner but I am not feeling too hot after that,” she shakes her head.

“Wait, seriously? No way,” Keeho’s shoulders slump.

“Let’s just do it tomorrow, Keeho, I want to pass out,” Yeji argues.

“Yeah, I might go home too, that all nighter we pulled was intense,” Jaemin says.

“Damn… okay, fine, Yeji, I’ll walk with you back, my dorm’s on the way too.”

“Yeah, sure, I’ll see you guys tomorrow,” Yeji waved and walked off with Keeho running close behind her.

“How about you, then?” Jaemin looks to you. You chanced a glance up at him.

“Uh…” you hesitated. “Don’t know yet,” you shrugged.

“I’ll walk you over to the pickup area,” Jaemin offers, “only if you want though,” he quickly added.

“Uh… yeah, yeah, I’d appreciate that,” you nodded your head and you both were on your way, neither text on your phone answered just yet. Jaemin’s hands were in his pocket, a miracle considering his messenger bag was somehow balanced on one shoulder. You didn’t know what it exactly was, but something about the way the sunset hit him framed him perfectly. His eyes slant over toward you.

“What are you looking at?”

“Nothing, just wondering what your skin care routine is,” you covered.

“Cleanser then moisturizer,” he shrugged.

“It’s always the boys who don’t care who have the best genes,” you sighed. You both came to a stop at the drop off, him waiting for you and you waiting to make a decision.

“(Y/N), actually, could I—” he is cut off by a loud brring startling both you and him. Somi’s name appeared on your phone and you scrambled to answer it.

“Sorry, Jaem, give me a second,” you apologized quickly and held it to your ear.

“(Y/N)?” Somi’s voice was different. “Sorry, I’m sorry if you’re busy, but could you come over? Please?”

“I, uh,” you looked over to Jaemin, who wasn’t listening to you intentionally. He rose an eyebrow toward you as if to ask if something was wrong. “Yeah, I’ll be right there,” you said.

“Thank you, thank you, just… take your time, it’s okay.” Name a more obvious way to tell you to get there as soon as possible.

“Sorry, Jaemin, that was a…” you trailed off, trying to find the right word to use, “friend of mine.” It didn’t feel right to call her that. “She really needs some help right now, I think I’ll head over to her apartment,” you pointed in its general direction. “What were you trying to tell me again?” You looked at him and he shook his head.

“Nothing important,” he says. “I was just going to ask when you were going to get your license,” he smiles at the end and you pushed him lightly.

“Jerk.”

“I’m just asking,” he raises his hands up.

“Soon, okay? I’m working on it!” You rolled your eyes. “But, still, thanks… I appreciate you waiting with me.”

“Any time, did you want me to walk you over to your friend too?”

“No, no, it’s okay,” you waved your hand. “But, uh… if I call you, just pick up, you don’t have to say anything,” you added. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, see you tomorrow,” he waited for you to leave first, and that you did. Your phone was in your hand, having typed out an apology to your sister and a confirmation to Somi. You chanced a look back at your friend, ready to wave goodbye, but, instead, he was sitting down on the bench, his elbows on his knees and his hands covering his face. You looked down at your phone again, a recent text from Somi telling you to take your time, but you knew better, you knew her better. But Jaemin was also your friend too. But Somi… You turned away from him and continued on your way.

When was the last time she called you when she was like this? A while ago, actually. You really didn’t have time to think about it, as soon as you got to her apartment and you saw that it was unlocked, you knew that there was something very wrong. You locked the door on your way in and looked around. The apartment was silent, clean, and untouched.

“Somi?” You called out to her. No answer. You walked further into the apartment, checking her usual spots. The couch was empty, the kitchen unused, and the bathroom was wide open too, and that left one place. The walk to her bedroom seemed much longer than usual, but when you finally got to it, your hand hovered in front of the door, ready to knock but not knowing what exactly to say. Carefully, gently, you knocked on it.

“It’s open,” Somi’s voice was quiet. You opened the door as slowly as you’d knocked on it and you saw her wrapped up in her comforter in bed. You approached her and she turned away so that her back was facing you. Your heart ached for her, there was this inexplicable draw that dragged you toward her and you wanted nothing more than to comfort her and to find out just what happened for her to near seclude herself like this.

“Hey, it’s cool if I sit on your bed in jeans, right?” You tried to joke with her. No response. You sat down with your back to her now. You twisted so that you could see the outline of herself hidden under that huge blanket. “What happened?” You chanced a dangerous question. You never asked what’s wrong, she never asked what’s wrong, you just called or texted one another and you showed up here. This was a barrier, one of many that you both agreed to put up, if she answered you now then what would that mean for the both of you? She didn’t answer, and you thought that that was it, you turned away and shook your head, you didn’t know why you even asked.

“It was bad… really bad,” she answered. You turned to her and she was looking at you.

“Oh, Somi,” you leaned down and brushed the hair out of her face and tucked the loose strands behind her ear. Her lips slipped into a frown for a moment before it flattened again. “Did you want to talk about it?”

“I…” she hesitated and averted her eyes for a moment. “I’m not out to my friends.”

“Neither am I,” you shook your head.

“They keep setting up these dates with these guys they think I’d like, and I keep going to them thinking maybe something will be different,” she shakes her head. “But… no, they always end up the same. I hate it, I hate those men they’re all the same in the end they’re all…” she trails off and shakes her head again. “He was a real asshole, (Y/N), I wish you were there to see it.”

“The money I’d pay to see you talk some sense into him,” you agreed.

“Homophobic asshole…” she grimaced. “I, uh… I told him at the end of the date that I had fun, but I didn’t want to give him false hope. So… I told him I didn’t think we should have a second date,” Somi’s voice started to wobble.

“And?” This was it, the meat of the story.

“He called me a dyke.”

“Oh that asshole,” you gasped.

“I know! I know, and you know me, usually I’d fight back but…” she stops. “I couldn’t. I couldn’t say anything because if I did then I’d be coming out to some ugly, no life jerk who throws a hissy fit when he doesn’t get what he wants,” she sits up, but keeps the blanket tightly wrapped around her. “That’s the thing with this country… people don’t get what they want so instead they find other ways to degrade others even if they don’t know the meaning of their words,” she says quietly. “Nearly every man I’ve tried to go on a date with has been so… so horrible, I…” she struggled to get her words out.

“It’s okay, Somi, it’s okay,” your hands tangled in her hair and you did your best to comfort her. “But… he didn’t do anything to you, right?”

“No, I got out before he had the chance,” she says. “It’s just that… I don’t know, he was so aggressive and I was just so scared,” she shuts her eyes as if to shut the memory out. “But it got me thinking, of course every date I’ve had with men was horrible, I’m not attracted to them. Yet on the other side every woman I’ve dated hasn’t ended well either. I think I have something good and then they’re gone. Faster than I could ask what happened,” she covers her face in her hands and drags it down her face. Then, silently, she reaches into the drawer next to her and pulls out a small box and a lighter. “I…” she stops talking, holding the cigarette between her lips. She looks at the lighter in her hands and, after some hesitation, she hands it to you. “Keep this away from me.” You nodded and placed it on a further shelf. She rolls the cigarette from one side of her mouth to another.

“You smoke?”

“Used to.”

“Used to?”

“Sophomore year was hard.”

“Is that a warning?”

“Sure.”

“I can barely make it through my freshman courses,” you chuckled. She pulled the cigarette out of her mouth and chucked both back into the drawer. “If you used to smoke, then why do you keep those?”

“I don’t really know,” she shrugs, “you saw me just now, if I didn’t stop to think about it, I probably would have rebounded,” she places a hand on her forehead and brushes her hair back. “God, (Y/N), I’m a wreck, aren’t I?” She looks at you sadly and you freeze. What should you say?

“Yeah, you are,” you nodded your head. You probably could have worded that better. “But that makes you you, right? You wouldn’t be Somi if you didn’t fuck up here and there.”

“Even if those fuck ups are, like, really bad?”

“Even if they’re really bad, yeah,” you nodded again.

“(Y/N), I’ve done so many things that I’ve regretted,” she says.

“I’m sure we both have.”

“Oh, (Y/N), you don’t even know,” she hit her head against the wall. “With all the shit I’ve done to my previous partners… it’s no wonder I’ll never be loved like that again,” she closes her eyes gently now.

“Hey, don’t say that,” you answered too quickly. She opened her eyes and they landed on you. It was offensive, almost, for her to say that. You loved her, you think you do. Even now, just being here, your heart beat towards her and your thoughts were filled of her at almost every waking hour. You loved her, and she didn’t see that, or she didn’t want to. “There’s plenty to love about you,” you added quietly.

“Like what?”

“Like how you look out for everyone, even if you don’t like them,” you thought about more, “like how you modify your recipes when you know someone doesn’t like a certain ingredient, or like how you wake up early whenever people stay over to make them breakfast…” you catch yourself, pausing for a moment, and never once did she look away from you. She knew it as much as you did and she probably caught onto it before you did too. “Somi, I…” you looked at her and, without saying anything more, she leaned toward you, her hand resting on your cheek and then she stopped, just centimeters away from your lips. Your eyes widened and both of your breaths stilled.

Another barrier.

Skinship only, no kissing. No feelings, no strings, and no expectations for something more. That was the deal.

But you didn’t like that deal anyway.

You closed the gap. Your lips pressed against her’s softly, and it felt wonderful. This surge of ecstasy shot through you and left you wanting more, and when she pressed forward against you it was like pure bliss. It was her who pushed away first, and before you could say anything, she beat you to the punch.

“Better than orientation?”

“Way better,” you nodded slightly. A small smile rose on her lips and she looked away for a moment before looking to you again.

“Can I kiss you again?”

“Yes,” you both leaned into each other and held onto the other, with every kiss growing in intensity and every touch being softer and still more passionate than before and as this barrier fell and crumbled, another threatened to fall. Her hand rested on your bare hip and yours wandered around her body, was this alright? Was this safe? Was this something you should do? You felt this desire in you that you’d never felt before, but you were afraid that it was going to fast, you were afraid that you’d mess up in your motions and that you’d never see her again, but you couldn’t stop, you didn’t want to stop.

There’s no going back.

You gripped onto the hem of your shirt and her hand wraps around your wrist.

“Are you sure?” She asks you. She’s never had a more serious look before.

“Yes, I’m sure,” you nodded and she let your hand go. You pulled your shirt over your head and she did the same with hers, then she wrapped her hands around you and snapped your bra open before pulling it off, and again the two of you connected. Your hands, unsure, moved to her breasts, and you fondled them the same way you did your own those sparing times you’d found the chance to explore yourself, and as you did so her lips trailed along your face. You moved until you were straddling her now and her hands hooked under your waistband.

“I hate jeans in bed,” she says against your skin.

“I know, I’m sorry,” you answered.

“God, they’re just so damn hard to pull off,” she says with an airy laugh. You laughed too, pressing your forehead against her shoulder, you helped her pull your jeans off and soon you were left in nothing but your panties. And all the while you avoided your own gaze in the mirror. Of all the times to think of this, your first time would be marked by your own fear. Somi moved to the other side of you, crawling off the bed and turning you with her and away from the mirror, she kneels on her carpeted floor nestled between your legs. She tugs at the elastic now and you nod your head, watching her slowly pull your panties off until they dropped to the floor.

“Are you sure you’re okay with this?” She looks up at you, both of her hands were resting on your thighs. She massaged slow circles into them.

“I’ve never done this before,” you told her. “But, I trust you,” you added.

“We can stop, it’s okay if you’re not comfortable.”

“No, no, it’s okay, we can keep going,” despite your words, you couldn’t look at her, your face was too hot with embarrassment. She presses small kisses to your thighs now, and the air against your now exposed pussy was cold. You let out small whimpers as she moved up the inside of your thighs and stopped just before your pussy. “It’s okay, I trust you,” you told her. She blew onto your clit softly.

“I’ll go slow,” she says before lightly licking up your pussy. Your whole body shuddered around her, and you did your best to keep your legs opened. She pushes forward and you felt her tongue start to move around inside of you, pulling out strained sounds you didn’t even know you could make. “Just relax, (Y/N), I’ll take care of you,” she says against you, only eliciting another moan.

“Mm, Somi, I…” you swallowed your words down when she gently sucked at your clit. “It feels, ah, it feels good…” your voice trailed off and you felt yourself start to relax, though your hands squeezed at the bedding under you. Her tongue starts to move deeper into you and you sighed. Then you felt her push a finger into your pussy and your whole body tensed again. She paused for a moment. “It’s okay, it’s okay,” you pushed her forward and she continued. You could feel your wetness start to pool under you and the embarrassment grew. But you couldn’t think about it for long, no, not when she added another finger and started to make slight scissoring motions with them. Your hands slid against the comforter as you moaned more.

“You’re doing well, (Y/N),” Somi praises you.

“I…” your words are swallowed up by your pleasure again. “I feel tight,” you muttered.

“That’s okay, baby, just let it out,” she guides you.

“Mm,” you grasped at the couch cushions and you felt your hips buck forward, your pussy clamped down on her fingers and you let out a loud groan before relaxing again.

“Oh, honey, don’t tell me that’s the first time you cummed,” she props her head up on one elbow. First time someone’s made you cum, that’s for sure, but not the first time you’ve cummed at all. “So quickly too…” she clicks her tongue.

“I…” your face was hot with… something. You’d never felt this way before, but, again, you’d never experienced this before, you’d never experienced this level of passion. Then, with both hands on either side of your thighs, she rose up and pressed her lips to yours in a searing yet soft kiss. You could taste the bitterness of yourself on her, it mixed with that lingering taste of strawberry ice cream you’d both shared earlier, and, in whatever hot fervor you had, you opened your lips slightly and pushed against her, allowing for her to deepen the already sensual kiss. “I want to do that again,” you told her when you finally pulled away.

“Are you sure?” She asked this question, yet her hand rested on the inside of your thigh, ready to move at a moment’s notice. Her thumb ran circles over the sensitive skin in a teasingly slow motion that still somehow had you reeling. You could only nod your head shakily, wanting— no— needing more. You’d never felt this way before and you wanted so much more. She began to press kisses down your jawline, now, as she lowered you to your back and slid her hand up your legs and over your pussy. She presses two fingers in now and you let out a quick gasp before pressing your head against the mattress. She lowered her face to your clit once more, being precise in her movements, and her tongue swirled around your clit, flicking it up every so now and then and leaving you a moaning mess against her. She pressed sloppy kisses against your pussy now, making obscene noises all along the way while swallowing your wetness whenever she found the opportunity to do so. Your hand pressed down on the top of her head, this newfound pleasure becoming more and more addicting, and in your search to find something— anything to touch, you ended up lightly squeezing your own breast, playing with the nipple that had grown much more sensitive.

Then you felt that tightness growing in your abdomen again, the tell tale sign of pleasure, but right before you felt it reach its climax you stopped, nudging her head for her to look at you.

“Yes?” There was a small smile on her lips.

“Could I…” you swallowed harshly, still panting from your moans before. “Could I try it?” You asked her. She rests her head against your thigh.

“You’ll have to be more specific than that, baby,” she cooed. You turned away for a moment, your face hot with pleasure and embarrassment.

“Oral, let me try it,” you were able to push out. Again, she grins, a Cheshire like smile like she’d heard what she wanted, and she stood up slowly, sensually, and pulled her shorts down before sitting next to you with a small bouncing motion.

“Okay,” she says. “Give it a shot, I’m already worked up anyway,” she says. You chanced a quick look over of her, the wet patch on her underwear out in plain sight. “Or… did you need some help with that?” She brought one leg up while leaving the other hanging off the bed.

“No, I can do it,” you leaned down, pulling her panties off with some confidence before immediately losing it.

“Just take it slowly,” she says. You nodded slightly, trying to do as she did with you albeit sloppier with your inexperience. Then, steeling yourself with whatever, you licked your tongue up one of her lips that dripped with wetness. “Whoa, baby, relax,” despite the levelness of her words, you felt her legs tighten slightly around your head, “slower, take your time,” she says while gently running her thumb along your collarbone.

Slowly, okay, you can do that. You tried to replicate what she did earlier, though it was obviously affected by your inexperience, when you heard her quieted sighs you felt this entirely different rush than before, just as if something had sparked within you.

“Mm, okay, let’s, ah, let’s take it up now,” Somi rubs the top of your head slightly, then she moves her hand to her pussy, spreading it open for you. “Know what I mean?” She was barely out of breath while she traced them with her index finger, hinting to you what she wanted you to do. Again, your nod was unsure, but you leaned forward and pressed an experimental finger into her, eliciting a sharp gasp from her.

“Sorry, I’m sorry,” you apologized quickly.

“No, no, don’t apologize, it feels good,” she nodded against the pillows. “Deeper, (Y/N),” she nods firmer. You obliged and, as you did so, she pulled you up to her so that you straddled her waist and she pushed your head down against hers, locking your lips into yet another open kiss. Your tongues moved against each other, probing and swirling all around while you boldly added another finger to prompt Somi to kiss you harder with both arms wrapped around your neck. She separated from you only once, just enough to lean against your ear to whisper praises while you finger fucked her for the first time. “Good, girl, just like— haa,” her head hit the cushion hard while her body tensed under you. “Are you sure you’ve never done this before?” She asks.

“Not on anyone, no, just on myself,” you answered. You felt the walls of her pussy clamp around your fingers and you leaned forward so that your head was next to hers. Your heads turn to each other and, before you could say anything more, she presses her lips against yours.

“Did you know that you’re dripping all over my bed?” She grins before moving you so that you were beneath her, “tell me if you want me to stop,” she says before bending down to your pussy and attaching her lips to it, eating you out with a new fervor you’d thought you’d only ever see in porn. Every now and then she’d look up at you with wide eyes that’d relax into more sultry ones as each lick was followed with a line of slick from your vag.

It was all so… erotic. The way she held your legs open, the way she swirled her tongue inside of you, and— god— the way she looked at you. You felt like cumming from that alone.

It was a long night. You didn’t have a chance to check the time, you didn’t really care much for it right now. All you could think about was her, Somi, and the way she drove you into bliss. You’re pretty sure you loved her, you trusted her at least, you trusted her with your first time, and you were enjoying every second of it.

Again it was like a domino effect. That first time with her was certainly not the last. Every now and then she would bring up some strange thing she found in her “research” and she’d ask if you’d want to try it, and near every time you’d said yes. You were open to exploring your sexuality and so was she. You’d tried a lot now together, actually, role play, ice play, sensory deprivation, and even some shibari, which the two of you would likely never do again. You should’ve been more wary when she came back with a Home Depot bag in hand and a devilish glint in her eyes.

So this is what it felt like, friends with benefits. Just sex, sex, and more sex, and if you were lucky there was the cuddle session somewhere in between too, but you didn’t hate it. You rather enjoyed it, spending time with her and trying new things, and always after it ended the same way regardless of whether or not you or her were tired. Before you knew it, you and Somi had been together in this strange relationship for near four months now, a track that you were sure that only you were keeping track of, celebrating milestones in silence and maybe overthinking the days she seemed a little more affectionate that overlapped with those milestones. Some days you wondered if this was how things usually went, was this the normal pacing of a relationship? You wished you had someone to ask, someone to talk to about this, but, amazingly, these four months stayed within these walls, unknown to the outside world.

“They always make those cakes look so good,” Somi says with a slight twinge of disbelief. Her arms were wrapped around your nude body and you nodded against her chest.

“I always crave cake, too,” you sighed. This was the usual aftercare.

The Great British Baking Show. Or better known as the show that turned you and Somi into backseat bakers.

“Ugh, the green and blue did not mix well together,” you commented.

“Honestly! She should’ve gone for the blue and purple, or at least a different shade of green,” she adds on.

“We should try baking sometime,” you wondered aloud.

“Oh we definitely should,” she nods while her hands wander further down.

“Somi,” your voice had a warning tone. It’s not that you didn’t want to have sex, it’s more that you wanted to finish this episode.

“Come on, I’ll pause the show.”

“No, it’s not the same,” you shook your head.

“Fine, fine,” her hands nestle on your hips once more, but her lips still moved about, biting softly on the shell of your ear. “You look like you want to ask me something,” she said quietly.

“Uh… yeah, do you think I can stay over tonight?” You asked. Tonight was one of those rare nights both of your parents would be out of the house and your younger sibling was staying over at a friend’s. The house was empty, and having Somi over was a bad idea considering the Ring cameras all outside your house, and so the next best thing was to stay over. Plus, you finally did the right thing and got your parents’ blessing to stay the night at a “friend’s” house.

“Not tonight, I’m sorry, (Y/N). I have plans later tonight,” she says.

“No, no, all good, I’ll ask another friend of mine,” you nodded.

“Are you sure?” Before you could answer her, her doorbell rang, and while you made a move to get more comfortable in her covers, she stood up straight. “Shit.”

“What? What’s wrong?” You sat up now, the comforter that previously covered you fell onto your lap. She looks at you before looking at her bedroom door.

“Oh, fuck, I completely forgot,” she rubs her hair harshly and tumbles out of bed, falling harshly on the floor.

“Somi! Oh my god, be careful!” You followed her and helped her up, and as soon as she was on her two legs, she shoved a set of clothes in her hands.

“Get dressed, (Y/N), my parents are here.”

“Your parents are what?!” You scrambled to put your bra on.

“Here! They’re here! I forgot, my mom flew in recently and of course she’d want to visit me, I… fuck!” She fell back on her bed in a rushed attempt to pull on a pair of shorts.

“Parents, oh hell…” your hand covered your mouth. Parents, you’re about to meet her parents. Now this isn’t something you’d predicted at all, but then again you and Somi had been doing this, whatever this was, for almost two months now. But parents? Her parents? Oh hell, you’re so fucked. You don’t even know what to say to them, how would you introduce yourself to them? How would you even explain why you were in Somi’s apartment wearing her clothes? Your mind was tossed into a spiral that you hadn’t felt in a very long time, and you felt this strange sense of dread forming in your abdomen.

“Okay, okay, this is fine, just act natural, (Y/N),” you both rush out into the main room and you took a seat on the couch while Somi opened the door.

“Mom, dad!” Somi grinned ear to ear and you swear you saw a halo of light form around her head. “Come in, come in! How was the flight?” She’s almost too good at hiding.

“It was good, enjoyable even,” her mother says. She then notices you. “Oh! Did you have a friend over?” You waved shyly.

“I did, yes, mom, dad, this is my best friend (Y/N),” she gestures toward you. But you stopped listening after she called you her best friend. What the hell was that? You literally had your entire tongue all up in her pussy less than an hour ago and now you’re just best friends? You held it in, took a deep breath, and smiled.

“Hello Mr. and Mrs. Douma,” you greeted them.

“Oh! Hi there,” her mother grins. “I didn’t know Ennik had such pretty friends.”

“Ennik?” You glanced over at her.

“Right, right, you like to go by Somi,” her father laughs.

“I don’t want to intrude, so I think I’ll head out now,” you made a move to head toward the front door, but her mom stops you.

“No, no! You should stay, (Y/N). Come on, I’ll make food for all of us,” she insists. And who were you to say no? You thought that at one point they would be your in-laws, but now you were starting to feel like that was a delusion.

And now that you were all seated at a table together, you felt like you’d learned so much about Somi, Ennik, all together. But, of all the cute things that her parents shared, there was one glaring truth that pierced your heart. Somi hadn’t come out to them. To her parents, she was still straight.

“How was that boy I set you up with, Ennik?” Her mother asks. A boy? You didn’t hear about her meeting anyone, not since that incident weeks ago.

“He was fine,” Somi responded as if she’d been practicing.

“I heard you went on more than three dates this time,” she chuckles. “Usually you give up after the first one, I guess this one was special, right? See, hon? I told you! No one knows our Ennik better than I do,” she nudges her husband.

“That’s right, mom!” Somi matched her energy. But all you could do was play with your food. Occasionally you’d eat a bite here and there so that they didn’t suspect, but there was just this heavy pit in your heart that threatened to swallow you whole, and for some reason it made you nauseous. Was it just you or was it hard to breathe in here? “Well, (Y/N)?” Somi’s mother turned to you.

“Sorry?” You shook your head.

“Oh, I was just wondering if you had a nice boy in your life too! You’re very pretty, I’m sure the boys are lining up to meet you,” she chuckles. The first person you thought of was Jaemin. Would he even be open to being in a relationship with you? He struck you as the kind of guy who was focusing on his education more than looking for something to commit to. But you wouldn’t say that you couldn’t see a future with him. Though you had to admit, while you saw yourself having something short with Jaemin, you could see your whole life with the woman to your right side.

“Yeah, there’s someone I’m interested in,” you finally answered, whether you were thinking of Somi or Jaemin you didn’t have time to figure out.

“See! Maybe since Ennik is with someone like you she’d find someone to settle down with,” her mother grins. “You should introduce Ennik to some of your friends.”

“Mom!” Ennik’s face reddens with embarrassment.

“I’m just saying, honey, your father and I want to take care of our grandchildren soon! You’re not getting any younger,” she says.

“Honey, maybe we shouldn’t talk about this with a stranger at the table,” Somi’s dad cuts in.

“Oh, it’s fine, they’re friends, right?” Somi’s mother looks to Somi, and you looked to her as well.

“Yeah, mom, (Y/N) and I are just friends!” She didn’t have an ounce of remorse on her features. You of all people should understand, you weren’t out to your parents either, but to lie to her parents with no consideration toward you? It didn’t even look like she regretted it one bit, and you knew Somi to wear her emotions on her sleeve. You turned away and drank some of your water. How ridiculous this all was, maybe it was always one sided from the start and everything these past few weeks was some delusion you fed yourself. How stupid of you to trust that you could give her your heart, how stupid of you. It was both of your agreed boundaries from the start to never expect anything deeper. There was a whole other conversation going on in front of you, one you weren’t a part of, and suddenly you felt this cold isolation building around you. Your skin was chilled but your heart was racing, and not in the good way. You felt all of your nerves tense up and you could feel the cold sweat at the back of your neck.

You had to get out of here.

You turned your phone over under the table and, keeping the screen hidden from Somi, you set a timer to go off after two minutes. Two minutes, that’s all you needed to pretend like everything was fine, and you’d pretend that someone was on the phone.

Brring!

Someone beat you to the punch. You canceled the timer and answered it without looking at the caller ID, you didn’t have the thought to. You just needed an excuse to leave.

“I’m sorry, I need to take this,” you apologized to her parents, who were staring right at you. “Hello?” You spoke while you stood up. You pushed your chair in and walked off into the bathroom.

“Hey, (Y/N).” It was Jaemin. You looked at yourself in the mirror, but then you quickly averted your eyes and leaned against the bathroom sink.

“Hey, Jaem, what’s up?” You asked him. He’s not the kind to call you.

“Are you busy?” You looked at the locked door.

“Not really, why?” You answered after some hesitation.

“Are you still on campus? If you’re free, I was wondering if we could study together at Starbucks.”

“Oh, right, for the precalc quiz, right?”

“Yeah.” Strange, Jaemin’s best subject was precalc right now. If you strained enough, you could hear the conversation behind you. Something about you.

“Sure, I’ll be there, I’ll head over right now.”

“Right now? Yeah, sure, I’m already here.”

“Okay, sounds like a plan, I’ll see you in a bit,” you caught your reflection on the medicine cabinet’s mirror and you wiped away the tears from your eyes.

“See you.” You hung up first, turning around fully and fixing your face before you walked back out.

“I’m sorry about that,” you apologized quickly.

“Who was that?” Somi asks, her voice noticeably different from before, but you couldn’t quite distinguish why.

“Uh… Jaemin,” you couldn’t, shouldn’t, come up with a lie.

“Who’s that?” Somi asks. No, you knew what that was. Your jaw tensed up and you took a second to calm down.

“Just someone I’m interested in,” you answered. Somi’s expression remained flat, though, but you could see some hint of shock in her eyes.

“And that’s how you do it, Ennik, if there’s someone you’re interested in, you pursue after them. This is why you keep complaining about being alone here!” Her mother shouts. You looked between them.

“Christ, mom! You’re doing this now?!” Somi finally lost her patience.

“Stop it, both of you!” Her father shouts. “You should go, (Y/N), I’m sorry about them.” You nodded your head slowly.

“I’m sorry for intruding, Somi didn’t tell me she was expecting people over, if I knew I wouldn’t have come,” you apologized to her father. You grabbed your things from the couch. “Bye, Somi. Thank you for lunch, Mr. and Mrs. Douma,” you nodded your head toward them and saw yourself out.

Then you were alone again. But you didn’t have time to worry, you didn’t have time to be afraid. Instead, your mind filled with a toxin you didn’t see coming, how could you?

“(Y/N)!” And she made it so much worse. “Let me walk you back!”

“No, it’s fine,” you said.

“You hate walking alone, let me walk you,” she says.

“Leave me alone,” you picked up the pace.

“Hold on, please!” She catches up with you easily, stopping in front of you. “What’s wrong?” She says between breaths. You scoffed and walked around her. The nerve. She knows what she did.

“Don’t worry about it, just talk with your parents,” you said back at her, but she didn’t stop there, she kept her pace with you.

“No, come on, I know you. I know my parents are a lot but I had to say what I said back there,” Somi defended while she stopped you in your tracks again.

“I know, and I understand that,” you said to her. “But that doesn’t mean that it still doesn’t hurt,” you shook your head.

“(Y/N)…” she reached out to you but you took a step back.

“Tonight… your plans are with that guy, huh?” You asked her. Somi stilled.

“I have to, my parents set us up.”

“Yeah, yeah,” you waved your hand and walked away from her again.

“(Y/N)! Come on, don’t be like that!”

“Don’t be like what, Somi?!” You whipped your head back. “Huh?!”

“Don’t—” She paused and took a deep breath. “You should understand where I’m coming from. It’s not like you’re out to your parents either!”

“Yeah, I know that, Somi, that’s why I said that I did understand. But it still fucking sucks and you can’t be upset at me for feeling bad for lying to your parents! They’re your parents for fucks sake!”

“Lying about what?” She asks you. She shakes her head. Your shoulders slumped.

“Ha,” you scoffed again. You were right. This was all one sided from the start. “Whatever.” You tried to ignore her.

“I don’t understand why this is such a big deal! You don’t even know what your sexuality is!” She shouts. Now you’re pissed. You marched back to her.

“Don’t you fucking dare assume you know me,” your voice was firm. “Don’t you dare say that when we’ve been seeing each other sexually for the past two months, Christ, Somi, we were just having sex a few hours ago and you think you can tell me I’m not sure of my sexuality? I’ve never been more sure. If anyone here has to check then it’s you. You say you’re a lesbian but all I hear from you are failed dates with men, what do you expect, Somi? What do you want me to say?” She’s silent, and you don’t know why. Does she really have nothing more to say for herself? She takes a deep breath. “Just go back home, Somi.”

“I’ll cancel tonight.”

“No, no, don’t do that,” you shook your head. “I already found another place to stay.” You were lying.

“No, (Y/N), come on,” she says.

“No, Somi. You said it yourself, you have to do this for your parents, and I get that. I’d do the same if my parents did that too,” you tried to calm yourself down. That’s how the both of you were, you had your arguments with your parents, but you still loved them, you couldn’t just break their hearts and Somi was the same. Countless times you’d heard her praise her parents, you’d heard the way she spoke of them so highly with so much tenderness in her voice, so you really truly understood where she was coming from. “I have to go now.”

“Are you really going to see someone else?” She asks.

“Yeah, I am,” you didn’t know why she was so pressed about that. She’s been seeing others too.

“Are you actually interested in him or did you say that because of my mom?”

“Why do you care so much?” She couldn’t answer. But you wanted her to, you wanted her to tell you not to see him so fucking bad. But she didn’t. There was a tense silence between you both, disturbed only by the cars driving past you. “You said it yourself, Somi, you didn’t lie about anything,” you said quietly, “I’m leaving now,” you cut the conversation.

“If you leave, then it’s over between us,” Somi says suddenly.

“And what was between us, Somi?” You asked. She didn’t answer. So you left. And, this time, she didn’t try to stop you.

You were on autopilot after that, walking all the way to the Starbucks on campus without paying attention to much else, you were too angry to even worry about anything else. And you really thought your walk calmed you down, but it was just a small question that made you feel like sobbing.

“Hey, (Y/N)—” Jaemin stopped before he said anything more. “What happened?” He asked it so sweetly and, instead of answering him, you buried your face in your hands.

And that’s how your second heartbreak happened. You felt like shutting the world out, and so you did. The voices of people around you fell muted, the sound of passing cars too, and finally the sound of Jaemin packing his things in front of you. You heard him knock on the table in front of you and you slid your hands down your face just enough to see him.

“Wanna head out?” He asks. You nodded and followed him. The walk was silent, but you didn’t hate it. You followed him to his dorm, something you thought you’d never do, but here you were. You’re just not making any good decisions today, aren’t you? Your phone kept going off with texts from Somi, all of which you didn’t pay attention to, and you were left asking the same question you asked her to yourself. Why did you care so much?

“Sorry, Jaemin, I know you wanted to study,” you sighed. He unlocked the door and let you inside first.

“Don’t worry about it, (Y/N),” he closed it behind you both. “We all have our days.”

“Yeah, but you weren’t supposed to see mine,” you looked around. It came as no surprise that it was neat, it was more surprising that both sides of the dorm were clean, but it was so easy to guess which side was Jaemin’s, what with the various cameras and pictures taped to the wall. Huh, funny, when did you find out that Jaemin was into that? Probably around the same time you started posing for the pictures he thought he was taking when you all didn’t notice.

“You can sit anywhere, my roommate went home for the week,” he starts picking up loose items before stacking them on his roommate’s desk while you took a seat at his. Jaemin reaches over you and hands you a photo album.

“You’re… you’re not going to ask?” You felt like you were starting to cry now.

“I don’t know about you, but I always hated it when people make me talk about why I’m sad when it’s obvious, it always made me more frustrated,” he leans against his roommate’s desk while turned toward you. “Did you want to talk about it?”

“No.”

“That’s what I figured,” he pulls his phone out and gestures for you to open the photo album. So you did. And it was probably one of the nicest things you’d ever seen. On the first page was the year with the caption ‘Freshman Year’ under it, and in the pages following were various pictures taken at various events. The first couple you could tell was orientation since they depicted a lot of the games and events you remembered from yours too. The next few were events you recognized, since you were there too, they were pictures of the study group back when it was just a study group, what with the pictures of you standing in front of a whiteboard with senseless equations on it and with other pictures of Keeho struggling flipping through his textbooks. Then there were pictures of when that study group became a friend group, pictures of the outings you went to, the impromptu food runs, and the late night roadtrips. And, slowly, you started to notice a trend where you became the subtle subject of the photos, moving from the sidelines to the forefront, and you didn’t hate it. You, who could barely look in the mirror, loved seeing these pictures of you, what are the odds?

“Hey, you’re really good,” you complimented him. “I don’t even remember you taking half of these.”

“That’s probably because I was trying to be subtle about it, I was going for candid photos but, I gotta ask, when did you start noticing?”

“Around that time we went to get ramen, you accidentally turned your flash on so I started paying more attention,” you said it with a teasing voice.

“Dammit, I really thought I played that one off too,” he laughs.

“Right, right, you said you accidentally turned your flashlight on, like I’d fall for that one,” you rolled your eyes, but maintained a small smile. No wonder you started becoming the subject, you thought. You’re the one who noticed he was taking these small pictures in the first place.

“I was going to show you all once the year ended, actually,” he notices you flipping through the empty pages. “Or probably when we all graduate, I think that would’ve been more nostalgic.”

“So why show me now?”

“Why not?”

“Good question,” you turned back to the last couple. You had a hunch, but you felt like it would be ridiculous to say it out loud. “But I asked you first,” you couldn’t deny that you were curious.

“Well… nothing lasts forever, right?” He asks. You look at him. “I know it’s bad to think like this, but sometimes I wonder if our group will stick together for our whole four years. Then Yeji does something outrageous that makes me realize ‘oh fuck I’m stuck with these people for four years’ and that anxiety leaves, but, then it comes back,” he’s never really talked this much with you before. Maybe it was because you were in a space he was comfortable in, or maybe it was because he was with you, you didn’t know. “I guess I showed it to you because…” he trails off and adjusts his position on the desk. You couldn’t ignore the twinge of pink on his face and at the tips of his ears. But you stayed silent, because you didn’t know what to say to what you thought he was going to say. He takes a deep breath. “I want us to…” he trails off again, as if picking the right words in his head right now. “I want to spend my four years with you, at the very least.” Why did you feel some relief when he said that? It wasn’t a confession, it was a wish.

“I think we will,” you said.

“Yeah?”

“I don’t know, I don’t plan on leaving you or the group, at least,” you crossed your legs on the chair. “Do you?”

“Nope, I enjoy spending time with you all, even if we don’t get any work done,” he chuckles.

“What counts is that we do get work done when we have to,” you place the photo album back where it came from and rubbed your eyes. “I still can’t believe we spent a whole semester together, and that we’re still hanging out now that a new one started,” you mumbled.

“I know, our schedules are a little different now.”

“Like they weren’t before,” you remembered the struggles of planning anything with all of you. “It feels like I’ve known you all for ages.”

“Right? You all already know too much about me,” he shakes his head.

“God, this is why drinking together is dangerous,” you laughed, remembering the time you all drank together in Keeho’s dorm, and how you all knocked out on his floor too. Jaemin looks at the clock off to the side.

“Hey, want me to walk you back to the drop off? You usually get picked up around this time, right?” He asks.

“Uh… no, it’s fine,” you shook your head. Right, you needed a place to stay tonight, and going home wasn’t an option since you didn’t have a ride.

“You sure? I noticed you don’t like being alone,” he says. Would it be too much for you to ask if you could stay over? Were you close enough to ask that? You could chance Yeji, but you know that her nightmare roommate hates it when the other girls have people over and you didn’t want to make Yeji deal with that. There wasn’t anything wrong with staying with Keeho either, other than his creepy roommate which now that you thought about it was a very valid reason not to ask him.

“Yeah, I’m sure. I, uh, I don’t have a ride home today,” you finally told him.

“Oh yeah? Who are you staying with tonight?”

“I’m figuring that out right now, the person I had in mind,” you hesitated, “the person I had in mind had other people over today.”

“I get it. You could stay over here if you can’t find anywhere else, like I said, my roommate left for the week,” Jaemin says.

“Are you sure? You won’t get in trouble?”

“Yeah, my RA really doesn’t care,” he says.

“Really? Can’t he get in trouble for that?” Jaemin leans over and opens the mini fridge next to him, the small thing filled to the brim with alcohol.

“Probably, but he’s the one who gave us these so,” Jaemin shrugs.

“Are those Trulys?” You spotted the seltzers just as he closed it.

“What’s your favorite flavor?”

“Strawberry.” He reaches into the fridge again and pulls out two cans and hands one to you. “Thanks.”

“Yeah,” you both open your cans at the same time and you swallow a good majority of it down. “Ah, this is nice after ending midterms,” you felt yourself relaxing already. Jaemin nodded silently. “Wait, we are done, right?”

“Yup, our finals are in a week though, so there’s no rest for the wicked,” he says.

“Aw, hell,” you cried. You chugged the rest of the drink down and placed it next to you. “Can I have another one of those?” Jaemin hands you his, which still had a considerable amount, before grabbing another one from the fridge. “And… if you’re okay with it, could I ask a few questions?”

“Shoot.” You chugged more of the can in your hands before starting.

“I have this friend,” you started. You still weren’t sure if you should even ask him, you would be telling a secret that you’d kept from everyone since the year started, and for some reason you didn’t want to end the fantasy, but at the same time you knew that you shouldn’t keep it to yourself too. “She’s seeing someone right now, someone she really likes and that she thought liked her back, but then she said something really hurtful, after doing so many things that couples usually do, the girl she liked told her parents that they were just friends and nothing more. So, now she’s really upset about that. But she knows she shouldn’t be, she understands her, but she’s still really really upset,” you could feel your eyes tearing up again. This whole time, Jaemin listened very carefully. “So now my friend feels cheated, in a way. She knows she shouldn’t because from the get go she agreed to not expect anything more out of the relationship, but then it became something more and the girl she likes outright denied it in front of her, and then she expected for everything to be okay after when it obviously can’t. Is my friend wrong for feeling that way?” You felt bad for word vomiting him, but you just couldn’t stop talking. Your thoughts were a mile a minute and your mouth was struggling to catch up.

“No, I don’t think your friend is in the wrong,” he says. “I’d be upset too. If I was hanging out with someone a lot doing things that couples usually do, and then she told me that we were just friends, I think I’d be pretty mad, actually,” he says. “It never feels good to be led on.”

“Thank you, I thought I was going crazy.”

“I thought we were talking about your friend,” he said this in a light tone. You knew he wouldn’t have bought the friend excuse from the start.

“Yeah, well, I’m starting to feel tipsy so it’s not like I can keep up a lie anyway,” you finished your drink and put it to the side.

“You’re feeling tipsy on Trulys?”

“I also haven’t slept in the last 24 hours, so there’s that,” you admitted.

“That’ll do it,” he chuckles.

“Can I have another one?”

“Is that a good idea?”

“Probably not.”

“Okay then,” he hands you another can and you opened it quickly.

“So… who is she?”

“You wouldn’t know her,” you shook your head. “I barely know her.” You thought back to your conversation with her parents earlier, they were saying so many things about her that you didn’t expect to hear or expect her to be like at all, and suddenly you felt like you didn’t know her at all.

“I mean, yeah, but it still sucks to be in your position,” he says before drinking.

“Yeah, it really does…” you muttered.

“Drink slower, (Y/N).”

“Don’t tell me what to do,” you kept your pace.

“Do you like her a lot?”

“Yeah. But I don’t think she likes me that way,” you shook your head. “I thought she did, but today kinda proved to me that she didn’t. How could she say such hurtful things and look like it didn’t bother her at all?” You looked at your phone and silenced her incoming call.

“Looks like she wants to talk about it.”

“I don’t,” you flipped your phone over. “God, Jaem, if I told you the things we were up to you wouldn’t believe it.”

“Knowing you, I probably would,” he tips his can to you and you tapped yours against it in a lonely toast, and you both drank more. “Try me.”

“We fucked, like, a lot.”

“I believe it.”

“Why?”

“(Y/N), you seriously don’t think we wonder why you run off right after class? Yeji joked that you were seeing someone but Keeho and I didn’t buy it. I figured you just needed some time off after spending too much time with us, but the more Yeji joked about it the more I realized it could be true,” he says.

“And true it was.”

“So all of that led you to think she liked you too?”

“Well, we started out as cuddle buddies.”

“That’ll do it,” he repeats and drinks more.

“Then we became friends with benefits, I kinda sorta confessed to her and I thought she accepted it.”

“You can’t kinda sorta confess to someone, (Y/N), you have to be clear about your intentions,” he says.

“I was clear!”

“Were you?” You thought back.

“Maybe I wasn’t super clear… I just started saying things that we did together and then we fucked so I just assumed…”

“Christ…” he shakes his head.

“I wouldn’t know how to confess anyway, I thought I was being obvious,” your face was starting to heat up from both the embarrassment and the alcohol.

“How did you confess anyway?”

“She said that she thought no one could ever love her. So, I wanted to prove her wrong, and I just started saying things we did together and how it was impossible for anyone not to fall in love with that because I fell in love with that, and, like…”

“You fucked?”

“We fucked!” You shouted and Jaemin laughed. “It was my first time too, and I told her that. I told her I trusted her because I thought she liked me back and… oh god, Jaemin you have to promise not to tell anyone about this. What I confess to you here stays in here.”

“Yeah, my lips are sealed,” he says.

“Clear, clear, it’s hard to be clear about that stuff,” you say. “How am I supposed to say it? ‘I love you’?”

“Just like that, yeah.”

“I couldn’t do it like that.”

“Sure you could, you just did.”

“Yeah, well, she’s not here, is she? Do you know how hard it is to confess face to face someone you want to date?”

“No,” he shakes his head. “I could try though,” he shrugs.

“Unfortunate woman,” you laughed. He chugs the rest of his drink down, put it aside, and walked toward you, resting his hands on either side of you now. Your breath caught in your throat.

“Huh, you’re right, it is pretty hard,” he was very close to you now. His face was reddening more now, his eyes half lidded in a mix of tiredness and drunkness, and you wondered how you looked to him right now.

“Unfortunate man.”

“I know,” he pushes off of the desk, but you hold onto his wrist.

“Jaem…” you hesitated. It was so selfish of you to ask him this. “Do you want to hook up?” He raises an eyebrow now.

“I think we’re both too drunk to make a good decision.”

“Shouldn’t that cancel things out?”

“I told you I don’t like being led on.”

“What if I’m not leading you on though?”

“Aren’t you?” You were silent at this.

“No.”

“You just told me five minutes ago about a woman you really like.”

“And she doesn’t like me back.”

“So you go to me instead.”

“… Yeah.”

“Sure, let’s do it.”

“You sure?”

“Either I’m being led on and you just want to confirm something, or I have a real chance here,” he says. “Which is it?”

“Would it be weird if I said both?”

“Yeah, actually.”

“Well…” you thought for a moment, and a horrible thought struck you. If you had a boyfriend, then you’d never have to come out to your parents, you’d never have to experience that heart break and you’d never have to put them through that heart break. “I’d say you have a real chance.”

“(Y/N), I really like you,” he confesses. “I’m serious, I do, I want to be something with you,” he continues. “So, please, don’t lead me on.”

“I won’t,” you said this, but there was still that lingering doubt at the back of your head. “I won’t lead you on.” And without another word he pressed forward, lips locking with yours, and you reciprocated. You could taste the hints of watermelon on him and even more so when you deepened it. Your hands squeezed his wrists now, and his hands interlocked with yours. You know you shouldn’t compare, but this feeling was just different from whenever you and Somi made out. You’d never pictured a future with him, but the more you thought about it the clearer it became, but that future was so different than the one you wanted with Somi. This one… this one was more realistic, you think.

But it felt like you were going through the motions. Taking your clothes off, taking his off, and somehow making it to his bed, even rolling the condom on was something you were surprisingly good with considering you’d only had sex with Somi before this. Sex with Jaemin wasn’t what you’d expected at all, and part of you felt bad that you were just using him to prove a point to yourself. And maybe it was a bad idea to do this when you were both drunk, then again you always preached that drunk actions were sober thoughts. Speaking of, you wondered if he could read them now. It felt like he was staring into your very mind while your mouth sank down on his cock. It was such a different feel than with Somi, despite the obvious, and now you wondered which you really preferred. Did you like the sweet and tender touches that Somi dragged out or did you prefer the way Jaemin went down on you with firm and sharp grasps? Did you prefer the soft kisses from her or the rough ones from him? Maybe you liked the stimulation from how your pussy slid over hers versus how Jaemin pounded into yours.

Or maybe you just didn’t give a fuck.

Jaemin pressed his lips against yours again, holding your jaw in such a way that your lips parted enough for him to deepen the kiss and you let him do so, you even encouraged it as you pressed against him and let a subdued moan out while he worked his cock into you, stretching your walls in a way you’d never experienced before. Your head tilted back, feeling an intense pleasure that was so different from the one you’d known from before. You felt his bed rocking beneath you, and you really hoped that no one could hear it.

“Oh fuck, oh god,” your moans were breathy and you could hear his silenced whimpers and loud groans.

“Fuck, you have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this,” he said quietly. You swallowed harshly. What did he mean by that? You didn’t want to know, and instead you pulled him down onto your lips again, something he reciprocated quickly while quickening his pace. You felt yourself building to your orgasm, and your fingers naturally settled over your clit while you chased after it.

“Keep going like that,” you said into his ear. “Ah, oh hell, I’m almost there,” you grinded against his waist and he kept his pace, pounding into you as if to prove a point and, though it scared you to admit it, you didn’t hate it.

Truly bisexual, you didn’t know if you should be proud or afraid of that fact. Your fingernails dug into Jaemin’s back, no doubt leaving some kind of mark behind when you released him shortly during your moments of bliss. Then, right as you reached your orgasm, you felt him start to speed up, no doubt looking for his own release and, finally, he stilled in your pussy, the condom filling up with cum before he pulled out of you. He leans over you now, both hands on either side of your head and face inches away from yours.

Now this isn’t fair, how could he still look handsome after all that? You’re half sure you look like an exhausted rat under him. And when he pushed the hair out of his face you swear you felt your heart jump out but then realization hit.

You felt a pang of guilt, having asked to hook up with Jaemin. You knew that Somi didn’t take your relationship seriously, she was still seeing people on the side other than you, hell, the two of you weren’t even properly dating, so what was so wrong about this? What’s so wrong about getting dicked down by one of your friends in his dorm after having a fight with her?

Many things, actually. You didn’t really think of any repercussions, you were just angry, and very drunk. You felt played, almost, like Somi had taken your heart out and tossed it around before giving it back. And your intentions weren’t exactly clear either. Sure, you’d had some attraction toward him, jokingly calling him the ‘Cute Boy in all our classes’ to Yeji and her teasing you relentlessly when he joined the study group, but your vision was clouded with the rose colored sunglasses that Somi had put on you. And now that you took those off, you didn’t know anymore.

Again, he kissed you, and again you kissed back. You didn’t know what your intentions were, but you did know one thing.

In your life, it was easier to love him than it was to love her.

It was a long time before you saw her again, Somi. After that night with Jaemin, after waking up in his arms and feeling like something was right with him, you started to be together more. There wasn’t exactly a title on this relationship though, both of you had agreed to get to know each other better romantically first before pursuing it altogether, but this time there was a clear end goal, you both liked each other and you both hoped for something more and, this time, that sentiment existed outside of the confined space of his dorm. You even told your parents about him, they’ve even met him and they thought he was a nice young man, and right after that you screwed in his car.

Everything you had hoped to do with Somi, you did with him, and somehow they felt so much better. You thought you were fully moving on from her, that you had something good going on with Jaemin.

But tonight, with his arms wrapped around you while you watched some A24 film on his laptop, you got a text from her, something she hadn’t done in two months now.

‘Come over, please.’ You stared at the text, and so did Jaemin. You turned your phone over and his head falls on your shoulder.

“You should go over there,” he says. You twist to look at him, surprised at his comment. After that first night with him neither of you brought her up.

“Why?”

“I think you deserve that closure, and so does she,” he says.

“I don’t know, if I should, Jaem, what if I…” you didn’t finish your sentence. It would break his heart.

“What if you fall for her again?” He took the words right out of your mouth.

“I don’t think that will happen,” you shook your head.

“I’m pretty sure she fell for you, I think she fell hard. But I don’t think she realized it until after you left,” he says. “A lot of people don’t think about that. They don’t realize what they lost until it’s gone, you know?”

“Right, yeah,” you nodded. You didn’t really mourn what you’d lost with her, now that you thought about it. And the way it ended so abruptly, maybe that’s why.

Plus, you were afraid of the way your heart ached when you saw that text. A part of you must have still loved her, and Jaemin must have seen that.

“Are you sure?” You asked him.

“Why are you asking for my permission? She’s your first love.”

“I know but…” you shook your head.

“Go ahead, and call me if you need me to come get you,” he lets you go and you slid off his bed. “Go, (Y/N), go talk to her.”

“Do you think I’m ready?”

“Are we ever?” He closes his laptop.

“You’re not going to ask to walk with me?”

“I figured you’d want to do this alone.” It was cruel that he knew you so well and you barely knew him at all. He had always paid attention to you, and you were too busy looking at her to realize that.

“Thanks, Jaemin.”

“Yeah, of course, go ahead,” he watches you go.

You remembered the way so clearly, how to get to her apartment and which routes were the fastest. But standing at her door, you didn’t know what to expect. You always had this vague idea but now you weren’t so sure. It’d been a good amount of time, a lot can happen in two months, and here you were. You knocked on her door, and she opened it.

“Hi, you’re just in time,” she pulls you in and seats you on the couch. “I gotcha something,” she disappears into her room and comes back out with a present.

“Oh, uh… thanks, Somi,” you took it in her hands. “What’s the occasion?”

“Six months, right?” She tucks her hair behind her ears and you paused. So she was keeping count.

“Of what?” You asked her.

“Our relationship, right?” She says with a tightlipped smile. You pushed the present back into her hands.

“Don’t do this, Somi.”

“Don’t do what?”

“You know what,” you said.

“What? We took a break.”

“From what?” You asked her. You just wanted her to do one thing. You wanted her to tell you that you had something together, you wanted her to acknowledge that you loved her and she lead you on. How hard was it for her to say that you were in a relationship? No, no, you take it back. You don’t want her to just do that, you want her to apologize for what she said two months ago. That shit was horrible, all of it. But why did you feel yourself caving into her again? Why did you feel your heart beating toward her again? You were nothing more than a friend to her, she made that very clear, but here you were with that small hope of salvaging what was lost.

Really, would it kill her to just say those two words? I’m sorry. That’s all you ever wanted to hear from her, at least once. All those texts you got from her all asking you to come over and all of them you ignored, but you never had the heart to block her. You wanted to hear her acknowledge that what she did was wrong, you wanted her to know that what she did was so horrible to you, and you wanted her to know that what she did was fucked up. But, at the same time, you would be beside yourself to see her so upset, you hated to see the way she got too in her head about it and you couldn’t do anything to help her besides sitting next to her and lending a comforting ear.

But this?

You needed an apology for this.

No, you needed so much more than just an apology for this.

You sat in front of her dumbfounded. No words were exchanged between you and her, just intense silence. What she had just told you… it broke you. How could she even think that what she said back then was remotely alright?

“I don’t know why you’re so angry.”

“Are you serious? You don’t know why I’m mad?” You asked her. Somi nodded her head.

“I don’t…” her voice was so quiet.

“Somi I’m going to ask you this one more time… what are we?” You kept your gaze steady. “What am I to you, Somi?” She broke her already weakened eye contact with you and stared at her hands, before finally burying her face in them. “Somi, I need to hear it from you. What are we?” You repeated your question and her hands reached out to hold your face ever so softly, the same way she always did when she wanted you to listen to her.

“I love you, (Y/N), I love you,” she said instead, but you shook your head.

“No, I don’t think you do,” you reached up to pull her hands away from you, but she instead wraps her arms around you.

“I do, I do, I love you,” she held onto you like if she’d let go you’d leave forever. And after everything, maybe you would.

“Somi, let go,” you couldn’t hold her back. You couldn’t find it in you to.

“I can’t, I won’t,” she says.

“Let your best friend go,” you said with a more stern voice, and that stopped her movements. She released you slowly, keeping at least some contact with you. “I don’t get you, Somi. You said that there was nothing between us but here you are! The first time you tell me you loved me was right now after you ended things. God, I feel like I was never really important to you until after I left. I don’t think you ever took what we had seriously, and when you told me you did I don’t think you meant it. I love you, Somi. But I don’t think our definitions of love are the same,” you shook your head.

“I do love you,” she repeats.

“And you couldn’t have told me that two months ago?”

“No, I didn’t know then!”

“But you knew I loved you. You knew I did and still you said those things.”

“I take them back, all of them!”

“You can’t just do that, Somi!” You raised your voice. “You can’t just pretend that everything’s okay, it’s not! Answer my question, what were we?” You pressed her more and she shook her head.

“I don’t know what we were.”

“You don’t know?”

“I don’t! When I met you I just wanted something casual, but when I got to know you I wanted something more and I was afraid of that! I was afraid of loving you,” she says. “You know how my family is, what my culture is, it wouldn’t have been easy.”

“So you took the easy way out.”

“I… yeah. I did.”

“I can’t even blame you, I did the same thing,” you said quietly. “But… we could’ve worked something out. I really thought we could’ve. I was so ready to come out to my parents for you, but you weren’t. Somi, our whatever never left these walls. Whenever I saw you on campus you pretended that you didn’t see me, whenever I asked to go out with you you’d say you were busy, our whatever wasn’t good for either of us,” you shook your head. “I don’t blame you for taking the easy way, Somi, I just blame you for fucking with my feelings.”

“(Y/N)…” she reaches for you again, but you move away from her. You couldn’t look at her, either, because Jaemin was right, you were so sure that you’d fall for her again. She slides the present to you again and you clenched your jaw. “(Y/N), I’m sorry.” Fucking finally. Tears started to fall down your face, they landed on the wrapping paper beneath you and smudged the ink on the tag.

“You couldn’t have said that before?”

“I didn’t know how to.”

“And you expect us to be okay?”

“I do.”

“Then lower your expectations,” you said to her.

“No, (Y/N), let’s work this out.”

“Have you come out to your parents?”

“Have you?”

“I take that as a no,” you wiped the tears off your face quickly.

“It’s not that easy, (Y/N)! At least you’re still attracted to men! You coming out wouldn’t be as bad as me!” She shouts and you swallowed your gasp.

“Excuse me?!” You stood up, the present dropping onto the couch.

“No, no, I… I didn’t mean it like that!” She stands up too, grabbing your hands and holding them between you and her. You shook your head and took a deep breath.

“What did you want from me today?” You asked quietly.

“I… I wanted to be with you,” she said in a similar tone. “I wanted to tell you that I wanted to be with you, I want to take it a step further.”

“No, I can’t do that with you,” you shook your head.

“Why not?”

“God, Somi, have you not been listening to our conversation?” You exasperated. “Somi… we can’t be together, not right now, not ever,” you told her. “Somi what we had… it’s not healthy. We only saw each other in here, we only saw each other when we needed to see each other, and we never saw each other just because we wanted to. Somi that’s not a relationship, that’s toxic!”

“We can make it healthy!”

“No, we can’t! Listen to yourself! You’re just invalidating everything I’m telling you,” you pulled your hands from her grasp.

“(Y/N), please, I want to make this right!” She says.

“You already did, you apologized for it already, there’s nothing more that we need to do.”

“(Y/N), please,” she insists. “I’m moving back home, I’m going back to South Korea.”

“And? You want me to be in a relationship with you for however much time before you leave? That’s so fucked up,” you shook your head. “I shouldn’t have come today.”

“No, no, I’m so happy you came, (Y/N)!” She says. “Please don’t go.”

“I should leave, Somi, I really should,” you told her.

“I know, I know, I fucked up! I just wanted to spend one more night with you, (Y/N),” she says.

“No, that’s not a good idea, Somi.”

“Please—”

“Don’t you see that this is hard for me too? Somi I loved you so much that I sacrificed nearly as much just to see you! I lied to so many people because I wanted to be with you, but then you told me that that was nothing? And now you want something, I… I can’t,” you wiped your tears again. Somi takes a step back.

“You moved on quickly.”

“You said it yourself, there was nothing to move on from.”

“But there was.”

“And you didn’t know it until I left.”

“Yeah, I didn’t,” she says. She picks up the gift again and hands it to you. “At least take this.”

“Why?”

“Call it a goodbye gift.”

“Fine then.”

“(Y/N), you are my first love.”

“And so are you.” She was the first one you were actually serious about, the first one you wanted to work out, and the first one you thought you really loved.

“I want this to work out, but…” she takes a deep breath, “but you’re right. It’s bad for both of us.”

“Yeah,” you played with the ribbon on the gift. “When do you fly out?”

“Next week.”

“Have a safe flight,” you told her.

“Thank you,” she says. You stood up again, and this time she just followed you.

“I’ll head out now,” you looked at her with your hand on the doorknob.

“Wait…” she says. “You didn’t get me anything…” you sighed.

“What do you want, then?”

“Can… can I kiss you one more time?” She asks. You hesitated.

“Okay,” you turned to her fully and she wrapped her hands around your face before pressing her lips softly to yours. You had almost forgotten what they felt like, how soft they were and how they moved against yours, and if you didn’t come tonight maybe you would have entirely. You let her take her time, this was more for her than it was for you. And when she finally pulled away from you that’s when you felt your sadness catch up with you.

You did want something more with her. But you knew it wouldn’t work out. There would be thousands of miles between you both in a week and there was no feasible way for you both to be together, not with all that baggage from before.

“Goodbye, Somi,” you opened the door.

“Goodbye, (Y/N).”

And that’s how you said goodbye to your first love, the real one. Not some silly crush, not someone you knew you didn’t have a chance with, but someone who really impacted you, someone who changed you for the better. You finally mourned what you lost with her. And when you returned to Jaemin’s dorm, you moved back into his arms, and you held him close to you and he to him.

“She got you a gift?”

“She’s moving to Korea.”

“A goodbye gift, then.”

“Yeah,” you reached for it now, holding the gift in your hand. The tag just said her name and yours and nothing more. “Should I open it?”

“Gifts were meant to be open.” You pulled on the ribbon and tore the wrapping paper carefully, and inside was a small wooden box with Korean lettering across the top.

“What does it say?” You held it so that he could read it.

“Hamoni Moggong,” he recites. “I’m pretty sure it’s the company name, Harmony Carpentry,” he says.

“Huh,” you slid the top off and you pulled out the music box concealed within. When you opened it, a familiar tune played with a flower slowly spinning in the middle atop a small mirror. Inside of it was a slip of paper. You held it up, the whole thing was written in hangul, and you handed it to Jaemin. He read through it carefully before turning it around in his hands.

“Love from afar, these music boxes come in pairs, one for me and one for you,” he translates. And again you found yourself crying, and Jaemin couldn’t do anything more but to hold you close to him.

Then the years went by. And before you knew it, you had graduated with the same four people you’d started with. You and Jaemin were still together, now entering your third year of officially dating, while Yeji and Keeho constantly teased you both about it. But every now and then you caught yourself thinking of Somi, the first person to have made you feel loved and the first person you thought you’d be with forever, and it made you sadder.

A week after you saw her, you’d noticed she’d removed you on Tinder. You couldn’t see her instagram anymore, and you were blocked on her snapchat. And you didn’t know why, there was no way you could’ve reached out to her either, it was like she’d cut all contact, and that hurt you. She was the one who wanted to make things right but then she did that? And, to make matters worse, the summer of your senior year you got into yet another huge argument with your parents, one that near left you disowned, and when you’d run away from home, you knew that as soon as you’d come back, you were finished. You knew your parents too well, you knew what their discipline was like and, so, when you’d finally returned home, you deleted all traces of Somi from your photos, all your texts and all your memories, they were gone. And true to your predictions, your parents took all your devices away and reduced you to the child they saw you as.

And when you got your things back, when you’d all apologized to each other, you cried. Everything you had of Somi, of the girl you owed so much to, was gone, because you’d rather be completely disowned for deleting things from your phone than disowned for loving another woman. Even that beautiful music box she gave you, to your parents and everyone else, it was a gift from Jaemin. But to you and Jaemin it was proof of what you had before.

You never did come out to your parents. Being with Jaemin, loving him and him loving you, provided enough cover and a large enough shield for you to avoid it. And so your story with Somi ended that way. With a small music box collecting dust in your closet.

“Oh we gotta go on Space Mountain,” Keeho points at the map and Yeji checks her phone.

“The wait is three hours!” She shouts.

“Okay and? Genie pass,” he says.

“Oh, right… it’s redeemable for nine at night,” she says.

“What?!” Keeho looks at his phone too. The four of you had agreed to have a graduation trip to Disneyland of all the places, after Yeji had told you all that she’d never gone, it was a must.

“Ooh, we should do Small World too, we gotta hit the main attractions for Yeji,” you said.

“Got it, got it,” Keeho writes it down on his phone.

“You are surprisingly very good at planning things,” Jaemin teases.

“Hey! I’m an older brother, I have to be good at these things,” he says.

“(Y/N)?!” You swear you could hear your voice being called somewhere, and you stopped in your tracks, your friends looking confusingly behind you.

“Did you say my name, Jaem?” He was the only person behind you.

“No,” he shakes his head. “What’s up?” Jaemin asks.

“Did any of you guys call me?” You looked around.

“No, we’re just trying to get to the ferris wheel,” Keeho points at the large attraction.

“Well, no shit, but… hmm…” you looked back one last time and you felt your heart stop. The passerbys around you seemed to slow into blurs as you made eye contact with her and, again, you saw your name form on her lips, then you realized you were walking towards her with the voices of your friends drowning into the muted chatter of the crowd, then you realized she was walking towards you too, and now you’re both running.

“Somi?!” You called her name out just in case and you saw her nod, you saw her press her lips in a tight line and you saw her smile despite the sadness in her eyes and, just as you noticed the ringing in your ears, you both melted into each other’s embrace, and you felt that beautiful and wonderful feeling of being loved yet again. But at this moment, though you still held her tight, you realized something. If there was one thing you’d learned from university despite the obvious, it was that, for the better, nothing lasts forever.

And that’s okay.

Epilogue

“Hey, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sleep in,” you rushed into the kitchen with your things practically spilling from your arms and your glasses refusing to stay on your face, you looked like a complete mess, you knew that, but when you looked up to greet her she instead cupped your face and pulled you into a gentle kiss. Your shoulders relaxed, backpack and all else clattering on the floor forgotten and hands instead brushing the hair from her face. The kiss was sweet and full of a yearning you couldn’t quite describe, it was as if it were something you had missed for a whole lifetime or something that you had only expected to experience in dreams. She’s perfect in every meaning of the word and at the same time she is imperfect in everything else.

But you love her. You love her so much.

When you separate you are filled with this strange desire that left you chasing after her. It was like your hearts were magnets, opposite charges that pull each other together, and that it did. Your arms were locked around her torso, your bodies fitted so perfectly against each other that it would have been criminal to separate you two. And, just like that, you felt like you were where you belonged.

“(Y/N),” her voice was so soft. It grew and blossomed in your chest and you could feel your smile widen. “(Y/N),” she repeats your name again and you looked up at her. There, her eyes, you could look at them forever and you could see your entire life with her.

A life where you would be with the one you loved and the one who loved you back. You could see the sleepy mornings that followed the passionate nights, you could see the way she would hold you so tenderly, the way she would frame your face in her hands and the way you’d do the same. You could feel her love radiating from her smile alone.

“Ennik…" her name was like a sacred thing to you. Her name was meant to represent strength, you learned that recently, yet to you it was the most gentlest word in your dictionary. A name so strong belonged to a woman so tender that it held a knew meaning. Then, as a sweet smile rose on her face, her nose brushed yours so slightly before she rose enough to kiss the tip. “I love you,” your words were lighter than the sun that surrounded you.

Somi beamed slightly, the closed-lip smile perfectly setting on her features.

Then, as if shaken into reality, a booming voice behind you.

“Somi!” The voice was so cold. You both turned and, like that, the fantasy had ended.

Somi pushed away from you and took a step back. The look in her eyes was one of solitary melancholy. She gave you one last hug and you held her tightly, as if you knew this was as much closure as you’d ever receive.

“I love you,” her voice broke you.

“I forgive you.” And yours broke her.

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