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flowercrowngods · 6 months

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the prompt: rest | rating: G | cw: non-explicit trauma-related insomnia

The steady thrum of the engine is like gentle white noise that not only fills Eddie’s head and smoothes out the frayed edges of consciousness, but runs through his whole body as a comforting presence. It spreads from the hands holding the wheel in a loose, easy grip up his arms and to his shoulders, down his chest where it settles in his gut. That feeling of belonging, of comfort, of familiarity. It leaves him with a smile as he shifts the gear, accelerating a little on the open street.

No one else is out here tonight, and there’s no destination ahead, but his goal has long since been reached.

Part of him wants to roll down the window to feel the breeze in his hair, allow November in just for five minutes, just for the duration of this next song.

Hey, little girl, is your daddy home? Did he go and leave you all alone?

But he won’t, because this moment is not his.

He glances over to the side, catches the split second where the passing street lights make Steve glow golden, his breath even, his face relaxed. His eyes closed, his forehead void of pained frowns. He’s been asleep for an hour.

It mends something inside him, seeing Steve like this, but something splinters all the same.

“What do you need? What can I give you? Please, Steve, you need to sleep. You deserve to rest.”

He remembers asking, tears welling up in his eyes and desperation clawing at his insides, clawing to get out and tear at Steve, tear at him to find out what it is that Eddie can do.

“Can we just— Drive? For a while?”

“Where to?”

“Nowhere, just… Might help.”

And it did. It does.

It’s been a few months now, and sometimes it’s Wayne who takes Steve — or both of them — on a ride to lull him to sleep with a steady engine and a tape that Vecna never touched.

And every time, Steve wakes the second the car stops. But it’s fine, because he’ll smile, he’ll say, “Thank you”, he’ll say, “I love you,” and he’ll lie on Eddie’s chest for the rest of the night, listening to the steady thrum of his heart while Eddie hums a quiet melody until Steve is asleep again.

written for @steddiemicrofic, dedicated to @auroraplume because i can 🤍🌷

#steddie fic #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #steve x eddie #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things fanfic #stranger things #steddie microfic #hi reese this is for you idk #🤍#i wish i could enjoy car rides again. especially at night and with music. unfortunately my intrusive thoughts get in the way #they get really really bad and i don’t wanna watch people die anymore but the concept is still nice so here 🥺#dio words #dio’s steddie ramblings

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quotidianish · 7 months

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I’m gonna be fr this ain’t my proudest work it looks goofy asf but after spending 10+ hours on it there’s no WAY I ain’t posting. Thank u @hanktalkin for the realest fics ever you get the tf2 characters. READ IT !!!!! NEOW!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/29065188?view_adult=true

#Ohhhhh you wanna read it so bad. You wanna #This sucked 4 years off my life. It’s fine though. (Through gritted teeth and tired eyes #tf2 #art #team fortress 2 #tf2 fanart #tf2 demoman #tf2 medic #quotidianish #My posts don’t even appear in tags anymore idk why I bother

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1driedpersimmon · 1 year

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L. A.fter B.eyond B.irthday

Playlist: X

#THATS A MUSIC PLAYLIST ITS ON YOUTUBE !!!!#I put it together because I thought it’d be fun 👉👈#it should be listened in order hehe (oh well only if you want tho)#sorry it’s only YouTube I don’t use Spotify #but yeah!!! enjoy #I’ve worked on this piece for a few days I don’t wanna look at it anymore… urgh #death note #B #Beyond birthday #haha also get it get it there’s 13 songs ha ha ha ha #don’t mind the blood he’ll clean it up soon mhmhm #blood #just in case #u guys r lucky I was gonna put some dismembered limbs but I was like..#nah I don’t wanna look that up rn #smh #yeah #ok I’ll stop enjoy the painting

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cybervom1t · 2 months

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well my antipsychotics are kicking in lmao

#wordvomit #‘I don’t wanna play with you anymore’

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leo-bandito · 8 months

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screenshot redraw from the secret saturdays :3

#‘Oh my god you finally posted is it Trigun?’ No. Fan art for a cartoon from 2007 😁🫶🧡#REALIZED I FORGOT THE FUCKING. WHATEVER DOYLE HAD I FORGOT WHAT ITS CALLED #WHATEVER. I don’t care and I don’t wanna fuck around w this anymore #the secret saturdays #zak saturday #zak tss #tss #secret saturdays #HEY HOW DO I TAG THIS.#Should I tag this as spoilers. I don’t think so.

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marcobodtlives · 2 months

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List of AoT Characters Who Have Been Told Off for Biting:

(Not for shifter purposes.)

Sasha (food related)

Eren (he’s batshit insane and off the wall)

Floch (he’s an asshole)

Hange (they’re insane and got overexcited) (Moblit needed stitches)

Ymir (she’s an asshole) (also thought it was funny)

Armin (lost the plot one time) (Jean won’t stop making fun of him for it)

Gabi (she’s batshit insane and off the wall just like Eren)

Pieck (forgot that she can’t carry people in her mouth in human form, it was an accident she swears)

Bertholdt (he was really overtired and angry, leave him alone) (also Ymir convinced him to try it one day)

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goodday-goodmorn · 3 months

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Little blurb that’s been sitting in my Docs for while based on @auspicioustidings idea from a while ago now i think— But yeah! I’be got like zero motivation to continue this- butttttt i liked the scene a lot so it shall be seen now! (Plus it’s Mhari’s Birthday!!! Happy Birthday Mhari! :> Even though i’m a few hours late into the day Hope you’re having a wonderful birth celebration!)

Based on a a scene i cooked up where reader finally gets caught by none other than the Ghost himself:

The weight of a gun in your hand is familiar.

So is the quiet sounds of a break in. You point at the door, watching, waiting. Like clockwork it creaks open, and there he is.

“Don’t move.”

You say sharply. Making the gun in your hand well known to the intruder.

Silence. He stares at you, you stare back. How many times have you done this dance? Tense words and a dashing messy escape. (The poorly wrapped bandages around your abdomen throb answering you question for you. Too many then.)

You sigh, and lower the gun.

He doesn’t even look suprised.

With a soft, Thump! ,you plop backwards onto the bed, arms outstretched. The gun is still in your hand but it’s dead weight. (Just like you.)

“…You’re not gonna ever stop are you?”

It’s said up at the shitty hotel ceiling. Hushed in the darkness of the room.

“No.”

He says it so simply.

You hum, pulling your knees and legs up onto the bed and rolling over. Back facing him, on your side. You snag a plushie on the way, hugging it close to your chest and settling your chin atop its head.

“Well shit. Turn all my red flags to white then, i give up.”

Defeated. Hushed. Tired. It sounds so unlike your normal voice. “But you already knew that didn’t you?”

There’s a dip in the bed, true to his namesake- he was silent as he walked to sit. You haven’t even heard him.

“…Who did your bandages?” Gruff bastard with his gruff voice. Sounding way too passive for talking with you, an enemy, his target actually. He should be barking orders and threats to you, you’ve heard the way he speaks on a mission before, all bite and harsh. But he shows none of that tension now. Not a lick of hostility.

“Who do you think?” You snort out, tucking your face into the head of the plushie and vehemently ignoring him.

“Kid, you need help. You can’t survive on your own.” Straight to business it seems.

Without even turning to look at him, you halfheartedly raise your middle finger.

He sighs.

Silence. Blissful, damning, silence. You’ve no more fight left to give and he knows it. Months on the run, months of constant near death escapes, months of being hunted like a dog. You’re tired. So tired.

“Ya know, Torture isn’t an effective way of getting info outta someone: statistically speaking.”

“We’re not gonna torture you.”

“But you do want that info don’t you?”

More silence.

You hum knowingly.

“And what happens after you get your precious information? You’ll kill me? Maim me like all the other fuckers who end up in your shit list?”

“No. Never.”

He says it with such ferocity it almost takes you by surprise for a second. If you were to be facing him, you would see the hardness of his eyes. The pure conviction swarming in his gaze.

“Not you. Never you.”

…

Finally you turn to him, feeling far too much like a young little kid on the playground who just can’t understand-

“Why?”

Something in his gaze softness. He wants to tell you this because he cares. The team cares. All of them- that they saw you, a prickly, panicked little bird in over their head and flying blind- but he knows it an answer you won’t accept. One you won’t understand. Not at this stage. Not yet. You don’t believe in words, you’ve been lied too far too many times for that.

So he says something you will believe. A watered down version of the truth that feels like such a disservice to everything that makes up your very being.

“You’re interesting.”

You seem to digest his words. Turning them over and thinking in that little head of yours.

‘How long is that interest gonna last?’

That's what you want to say. You want to scream at the top of your lungs that he doesn’t want you. No one does. He’ll get sick of your brashness eventually- he’ll learn and grow used to your tricks. And when your spontaneity grows old, you know what’ll happen.

But you don’t.

You say nothing except—

“…Can I at least pack my bags? …please?”

He knows you don’t have much to pack. He also knows you’re one tricky, flighty little bird. However, he heard your small plea, sees the defeated look in your eyes, the way your hand is so lax around the gun.

Gently, oh so gently, he takes the gun from your hand. You don’t even try and fight him.

“Sorry little bird. Can’t trust you to pack.”

The sad look on your face nearly makes him reconsider. But he can’t risk you getting away again. Not when you’re so easy to catch right now. So vulnerable.

“Can’t you restrain me and then i’ll tell you what to pack?”

That, he can do.

“Up.”

Commands come so naturally to him. You’re almost jealous at how easily they fall from his lips.

Like the old defeated dog you are, you listen, sitting up and presenting your hands to him to restrain. You don’t meet his eyes.

He takes no chances, you are securely bound with a pair of handcuffs. He tugs on them, standing you up and nudging you to the common area of your hotel room. It’s a sizable room, a nice hotel, though truthfully you hadn't really been thinking when you booked it. Brain to frazzled and exhausted to think about anything beyond a clean bed and a hot shower.

The lights are flicked on by his gloved hands, flooding your vision. You hiss blinking and adjusting while he nudges you to the center of the room, down into your knees.

“What am I looking for here, bird?”

Your gaze flicks to him, then to the corner of the room, a vent right by a little corner desk with a lamp.

He follows your gaze and then, (with one last hard look towards you that screams ‘stay’), he walks over. Inside the vent is a crumpled up backpack, old and raggedy. It looks out of place amongst the clean cream colors of the hotel amenities.

He prods at the thing, trained caution. (You don’t blame him after your last stunt with explosives.)

Unceremoniously he opens up the bag and dumps all its contents on the floor. You wince, watching your whole life be scattered on the ground.

A journal, a thermal blanket, a lighter, cash, USB sticks, Your laptop in its thick padded casing (thank god), stolen hotel amenities, nicotine patches, several pill bottles, a half empty water bottle, a pocket knife, bullets…

Your own personal little horde of trinkets.

“Was that necessary…?” You mutter, as he stuffs some stuff back into the bag.

“Can’t blame me for bein’ cautious.”

“Well- i could.”

He turns to look at you. Just… stares at you, all you can see is his eyes at that dreadful mask, boring into yours. He doesn’t need to say anything. You both know you could but you never. Been through too much to really blame him.

You’ve saved his life before, even though he was hunting you. You both know you would never blame him for doing his job. Not at this point.

(Just as he would never blame you for running.)

#cod fanfic #fanfic #go look at auspicioustiddings they’re cool #reader insert #simon riley x reader #I have so many thoughts about this au #Simion is a treat in this #so soft #Reader on the run who is resourceful and just so absurd in their demeanor #i’m talking pulling out insane insults as they run #calling ghosts mask moldy lol #But also is a reader who is just so defeated and tired #they don’t wanna run anymore #not from 141 #not from banter through texts #not from stupid reaction images #not from strangers offering in full confidence to doordash you food while you’re starving #not from the resulting jokes about them trying to get an address out of you #Not from the warm yet hearty meal that shows up anyway #not from the closest thing to family they’ve ever known #but how could they ever stay?#It’s a dynamic set to fail #They are a target #An objective #So what happens when 141 finishes their mission #what happens when they are caught?#ANYWAY— Happy birthday Mhari!!!

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sciderman · 3 months

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You said that if you dated Peter or Wade it would make you miserable. Which– Okay fair, Wade does have a history of purposely hurting the people he loves.

But what about Peter? Why do you think dating him would make you miserable?

because I’ll always know I had the option to climb a 6’8 cyborg and I passed that up for a sweaty little twunk that I perpetually have to remind to bathe (sorry peter)

#I don’t know. I don’t think peter is good boyfriend material. I think his insecurities would get exhausting.#Wade has bottomless patience. me… I don’t know. I don’t think I could. I’ve got my own stuff going on. I don’t want a Project.#peter is definitely a project. and he needs someone with shed loads of patience and perseverance.#me I just. I wanna have a good time. so. come to me my big beautiful time traveller. whisk me away.#take me to the beach. you can disappear after I don’t mind I’m not needy. just spend a beautiful romantic week with me.#sci speaks #I don’t really know what kind of person I’m compatible with really actually.#all my relationships have been. pretty short.#and I don’t think it’s any fault of my own really. and I don’t feel any loss over them at all. like at all. I wish I did. but I don’t.#a sci has so very thankfully never felt heartbreak.#but it makes me kind of question what kind of person I am when it comes to this sort of thing.#because I really don’t know.#I don’t know if I want commitment. I don’t even know if I want sex these days.#I … weirdly… am so devoid of yearning these days. like I feel content right now on my own. I don’t even feel lonely.#I used to yearn but I think I’ve moved past it. and I kind of just want to have a good time.#and that doesn’t even . involve a relationship or anything anymore. like I don’t think I want one actually. it feels like I’m Over it.#it’s kind of great because I’ve never felt so calm in a long time. all because I decided that I don’t. actually Need anything.#I don’t need anything more than what I have. and that’s brought me rest after So Long being restless.#but if a massive time traveller came and whisked me away on sexy adventures how could I say no

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shima-draws · 5 months

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What the FUCK Furina’s backstory is so fucking sad??? The absolute TORTURE she’s been through. Shit dude,

#Shima speaks #I’M SO UPSET.#THIS IS JUST RUKKHADEVATA ALL OVER AGAIN. GENSHIN STOMPING ON MY FEELINGS AND MAKING ARCHONS CRY #Why is it always the women. Stop doing this to our women.#Genshin Impact #Imagine putting on an act nonstop continuously for hundreds of years and not being able to tell anyone the truth #And dealing with the anxiety of your whole country dying out and it weighs on your shoulders and makes you so stressed #And you cry yourself to sleep every night bc you’re so tired you’re SO tired and it’s been centuries but you have to keep going.#You have to keep up the act you have to keep faking it you have to keep lying #You have to pretend everything is fine when it’s NOT and you don’t know what to do and you still can’t tell a single fucking SOUL #AGHHHH FURINA. MY SWEET GIRL. YOU DIDN’T DESERVE THIS #Genshin Impact spoilers #Furina #Focalors #I just wanna scoop her up into a big hug and tell her it’s okay 😭 Girl you don’t gotta act anymore you can finally FINALLY rest

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yeowche · 2 months

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About Time’s trauma

(Yeah we’re doing this)

So, I like to think that the Hero of Time does not remember the time he spent in the spirit realm. He spent seven years in solitary confinement… the least the goddesses could do was remove that burden from his consciousness.

Except they didn’t, completely.

Because when he sleeps, he doesn’t dream - he returns to that place, that endless, white void. Perhaps it’s a blip in the system, an aspect that the goddesses forgot to take into account. Maybe it’s intentional. He wouldn’t know.

Every day, he wakes up with no recollection of any of it. But whoever’s with him (read: Malon), can see him thrashing and clearly not having a good time while he is asleep. She asks about it, of course – several times, to no avail. Because he genuinely can’t answer her questions.

But he talks in his sleep, and Malon is able to piece together the little bits of information she gets.

Anyway there’s that and then there’s tHe mOoN

#imagine the spirit realm being like Janet’s Void from The Good Place #if you were wondering what stuff he says in his sleep #(because you love angst like I do)#‘let me out’#‘I don’t wanna be here anymore’#‘please let me go’#loz #zelda #the legend of zelda #ocarina of time #majoras mask #hero of time #loz headcanon #zelda headcanon #loz hc #loz oot #malink #oot link #oot malon

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harrysonlylover · 3 months

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A quick question🫣 are you guys still interested in mechanicrry?

#i know it’s been AGES #I’m really sorry #i 100% understand if you don’t wanna read anymore #just lmk pls!!

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thasorns · 3 months

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I cannot shake my thoughts about this and I’ll know I’ll keep this drama close to my heart. The fact that Myung ha’s ‘sunbae’ opened the riff to the world with the question “would you change it for me?” Also the fact that Myung ha’s alternate universe/game world started with the sound of an ocean tells already a lot about it but we won’t know until Episode 8 why. Throughout the series we watched Myung ha doing everything in his power to make Yeo woon happy while he himself couldn’t rely, couldn’t trust, couldn’t open himself up to him. We know the phrase of his ex gf “you don’t know how to love anyone.” left a deep scar in his soul which he carried with to the alternate universe/game. I try to think the system errors which occurred during the game was a way to change Myung ha’s mindset to not make the same mistakes and/or go on with his habitual habits he did in his life before he drowned himself. Also the different tasks was it actually for Myung ha to realize that he’s the one who makes Yeo-woon happy (which he didn’t). He retreated himself from Yeo woon because he couldn’t choose between the most important persons in his life as we saw his grandma died in real life which makes me think if he also knew that because in one sequence in the game/au it asked him if he wants to bring back some memories of Myung ha’s life. Also the last I love you from Yeo woon was the cherry on top to let the system completely crash where he distanced himself from Yeo woon. “I want to spend my remaining time making Yeo woon happy as best as I can. But it seems the more I try, the more unhappy I make Yeo-woon.” Which Myung ha remembers what Yeo-woon said: “whenever I see you, I both feel good and want to cry. I feel so much about every little thing. But I’m not happy at all right now.” Which again I try to think it is about why Myung ha doesn’t rely more on him? Why he doesn’t open himself up to him? A relationship is based off of trust, give and take… etc. but Myung ha goes into this relationship with deep rooted traumas which causes lack of self love. If one loves not itself enough how can they expect to love someone else which what explains Myung ha’s last phrase in the same scene so much. “Why did I think I could make you happy?” It’s as if he doesn’t think that a loner like him could be the one to give him love and happiness. What follows after is that he choses Yeo woon’s happiness even if he’s not his happiness… which again brings me to the beginning where Myung ha thinks “but I prefer lonely supporting characters to happy protagonists.” In this case he’s the lonely supporting character to our happy protagonist Yeo-woon. “But being fated to live that kind of life… is just so unfair.” He knew/knows how cruel life can be so he chose his happiness over everything and got vanished from the game. He realized by now that Yeo-woon is/was more important than he wanted to admit. Yeo-woon is/was a glimpse of happiness in Myung ha’s life. What brings us to the tragic backstory of his life and how he lived. All the obstacles he endured and went through led to his drowning (at this point we saw Yeo-woon’s obstacles in the alternate universe/game at least in my opinion). This is the turning point for Myung ha. “I was hoping if you saw yourself from someone else’s perspective, you would learnt to love yourself. I thought if you learned to love someone, you would be a little happier.” I want to make a reference here to the title itself “Love for Love’s sake” because all the sacrifices he did and cared more for others than himself… but he found happiness. In Yeo-woon. And he chose his own happiness for once. It’s the way he chooses all these things for himself, to open himself up for him, to rely and be cared for. “It would be nice to have someone. Someone who cares by my side. Someone who gives me chances when I fail and feel hopeless. It would be nice to have someone who always gives me love.” Which they found both in each other.

#caddi watches #love for love's sake #I didn’t proofread it and it’s already 3 in the morning and I wrote this while I had cix’ ”I’m here for you” didn’t help either #also the one scene in the hospital where he met his sunbae the background genius. I try to think that this scene could’ve been #a turning point but when the sunbae asked to be with the loved one longer he chose the painless way #he still didn’t got it in my opinion… that’s why the remaining days deducted so fast it’s what I want to think #he was still bitter and rather pessimistic about love ‘people don’t stay together forever’ (I didn’t looked it up this time)#anyway this already got super long so I don’t wanna ramble extra in the tags #if you read this congratulations for reading a novel if not also okay because I wrote it down for me :)#which barely do btw I don’t write my thoughts and opinions anymore #and yes I chose the word ‘which’ a lot #zey rants #zey rambles

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gracebethartacc · 3 months

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Remember how I said the wishes being taken in my rewrite are a mass/kingdom wide amnesia? Yeah. What if tweaked the ‘Aster getting stars wish granted/Magnifico getting Star magic’ part of the plot a tinyyy bit and I used the forgetting part to be evil. What then.

#Basically mag isn’t getting star magic *immediately*#Like we get a tiny bit of breathing room to explore human aster a little bit before that ?#Bc I wanna drive the point of asters wish not turning out how star wanted home more #And I love amnesia ok that My Trope™️#rewrite the stars au #wish rewrite #wish star boy #wish asha #As much as I like these sketches I don’t wanna go crazy w the tags bc this is verrrrry rewrite specific/canon divergent #Sooooo shrugs #Also also I realized like Hey Yeah why would Mag just. Not do that? Like “oh you two discovered I was evil?…Nuh uh. Not anymore you didn’t.#“Dark magic is in the air? WRONG. Amnesia.”

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1driedpersimmon · 1 year

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