#I don’t want to believe it cause its so sad but it would make the ending even more beautiful

[asahicore]

bad news first - sjy (m)

this work contains smut - minors please do not interact pairing. jake x fem!reader synopsis. From the moment you'd met at eight to the day he moved to South Korea at fourteen, you and Jake were inseparable. But after years of being apart, you've come to terms with the fact that at twenty, you and Jake just aren't what you used to be. That is until you get a text from him, and all of a sudden, he's back by your side, doing his year abroad at the university you study at, and all your feelings for him float back up to the surface. genre. college au, childhood friends to ???? to lovers, painful mutual pining, one bed trope..... a sprinkle of angst (my hand slipped) but mostly fluff i promise and smut (mdni!!!), also i made sunghoon really weird in this and idkw, this is set in scotland.. edinburgh uni rep!! word count. 23k author's note. everybody say happy belated birthday to @zreamy.. happy belated birthday zo!!! being 22 years and 6 days old is cooler than just 22 years old anyway.. hope you like it bestie... if you dont... well theres a building on campus thats 17 stories high sooo.. enjoy! i hope everyone else enjoys too, since this is a bday fic for zo she couldnt beta read so i had to raw dog this so if its terrible.. not my fault! lmk what u think!! i also made a playlist for this, do listen along!!

“Alright kids, good news or bad news first?”

You looked at your teacher, then at the boy next to you, then back at your teacher. “Bad news first,” you said in unison.

You were only eight, but you were both wise enough to know that hearing good news second would assuage the blow of whatever these bad news were. Miss Dawson sighed as she crouched in front of you. “The bad news is your bus driver is on strike and won’t be coming. The good news is that your parents have been informed and are coming to pick you up soon.”

Following her instructions, you headed to the gymnasium and sat there silently among the other kids. Not many kids in your class rode the bus home, and the ones who did seemed to have drivers not on strike, so it was just the two of you. You were used to that, though - over January and February, you had made a sort of silent pact to stand and wait for the bus together. You sometimes shared snacks, but you never spoke. For some reason, you felt at ease with this boy, even though you didn’t know much about him. You had heard he had moved to Brisbane just at the start of this year, all the way from South Korea. You were pretty sure his name was Jake.

You handed him one of your Twix bars. Then he spoke. “I thought a strike was when you did really well in bowling.”

“Same,” you replied, mouth full of chocolate and caramel. “I’m not sure why that would keep the bus driver from picking us up.”

Jake looked at you with wide eyes, distress clear in them. “Do you think he went bowling instead of picking us up?”

This made you frown. “That’d be really rude.”

“It would. I always make sure to go bowling on the weekends, ‘cause if I missed school that’d be rude to Miss Dawson.”

You nodded your head in fervent agreement. “For sure.”

That weekend, his mum called your mum to ask if you wanted to go to the bowling alley with them. From then on, for the next six years, you were stuck together by glue. 

--

Twelve years later, Jake’s name appearing on your phone screen has become such a rare sight, you don’t believe it right away. It takes you a few seconds of intense squinting at the letters to actually realise your eyes aren’t deceiving you.

jake.sim15 hey y/n!! you go to edinburgh uni right?

You type and delete three different responses before settling for a simple yeah, I am! what’s up?, hoping you sounded nonchalant even though you very much felt chalant. You thought that whatever you sent wouldn’t be as weird as taking forever to answer such a straightforward question. 

As you wait for Jake’s reply, you scroll through your previous shared messages, noting with sadness that for three years in a row, the only instances you’d texted were to wish each other a happy birthday or when he reacted with a fire emoji to Stories of your dog, Milo. Before that, your last conversation was to congratulate each other about getting into your top choice universities and to discuss plans for your respective futures.

Futures that used to include each other, you think. His reply appears at the bottom of your screen before melancholy can fill your heart.

jake.sim15 i applied to go there for my year abroad next year annnnd i got in !! heh

You shoot up straight from your seat on the lounge chaise you’d been sunbathing on, a loud “Oh my God!” involuntarily escaping your mouth. 

“What? What happened? Is everything okay?” Chaewon asks frantically, rushing over to your side. “Oh,” she says when she sees your phone. “It’s a text… from a boy?” 

This makes Yunjin, previously unbothered by your panic, rise from her seat and take off her sunglasses. “A boy? Show me,” she demands, snatching your phone from your hands before you can protest. Upon seeing the texts on your screen, she lets out a loud gasp. “It’s not just any boy! It’s the one and only Jake Sim himself.”

“Give that back!” you plead, hand reaching for your phone, but Yunjin is already walking away.

“And he’s coming to Edi this September, apparently. He says he’s sorry for not saying anything earlier, but he was waiting for an answer up until now.” She scoffs. “Leave it to our uni to tell someone they’re in less than two months before term starts. Oh, you’re the first person he’s told, Y/N! After his parents. How cute,” she coos, protesting when you snatch your phone back from her. “Hey! I was reading that.”

“Those are my texts, Yunjin. I’m the one who’s meant to read them.”

She shrugs. “You would’ve told us anyway.”

“What are you going to reply?” Chaewon asks. With the both of them hovering over your shoulders and watching as you type a response, a sort of stage fright comes over you, making you send what might be the most unoriginal reply known to man.

“Awesome? Seriously, Y/N?” Yunjin reads, disproportionately disgusted with you.

“That’s a lot of exclamation marks. It almost makes it look like you don’t mean it,” Chaewon says.

“I do mean it!”

“Well, he seems to like it. A smiling-with-teeth emoji is a good sign, right?” she asks in an attempt to make you feel better.

“He has automatic caps off. That man is run-through,” Yunjin says, shaking her head as she walks back to her sunbed.

“You were excited about him texting me just a second ago,” you reproach.

“Yeah, before I found out he was a whore.”

“Yunjin, you know we don't slut-shame here!” Chaewon exclaims. Before Yunjin can say anything even worse in response, your phone starts ringing, and Jake’s name appears on your screen. “He’s calling you?” Chaewon gasps, making Yunjin sit up with a start for the second time in less than five minutes.

“This man is insane,” she remarks with all the seriousness in the world.

You run away from your friends, finding refuge in the outside kitchen area out of earshot. They don’t need to hear your conversation with Jake. You love them, but they can be weirdly unsupportive in moments like these.

“Hey, Jake,” you greet, hoping he doesn’t notice the breathlessness in your voice. It was because you had just ran, of course - you didn’t want him to think you were so nervous about talking to him after such a long time, you could barely breathe. Because you weren’t. At all.

“Hey, Y/N!” he replies, and the excitement in his voice makes your heart melt. “I hope it’s not weird that I called, I just thought it’d be nicer than texting, is that okay?”

“Yeah, it’s fine, it’s nice to hear your voice,” you say before you can really think about it, and cringe at your own words. Years without talking and the world’s worst line is the first thing you say to Jake. Thankfully, before you start excruciating yourself, a chuckle pours out of Jake’s throat and blesses your ears.

“It’s nice to hear your voice, too. What are you up to?” 

“Oh, I’m on vacation with my friends. One of them has a rich aunt who owns a villa in southern Italy, so we’re just chilling by the pool right now.” 

“You always wanted to go to Italy! That sounds so nice,” he says. Your breath catches gently in your throat - he remembers, you note.

“Yeah, it really is. What about you, how are you spending the summer?”

Jake tells you about the local bookstore owned by a grandpa that’s always had a soft spot for him and that gave him a part-time job for the summer. “I’m trying to save up as much money as I can before I leave. If I treat you to a meal, will you show me around the city?” he asks, and you can hear the grin in his voice. It makes you realise how much you’ve actually missed him.

“You don’t need to treat me to a meal, I’ll show you around anyway.” 

Still, he insists, and you find yourself giving in quickly - because it’s Jake or because free food is on the table, you’re not sure. Probably both. 

You and Jake get to talking, but fitting years and years of catching up into one conversation is an impossible task, and before you know it, when you check your phone, you’ve been talking for over an hour. Yunjin is angrily waving at you, pointing at her stomach to indicate hunger like a caveman who’s just learned how to communicate. You apologise to Jake, telling him you have to go, and plan to meet during fresher’s week before you hang up.

A few hours later, you get a text from him saying it was nice talking to you and jokingly asking whether Yunjin was satisfied with lunch. It’s innocuous, but it opens a gate for more texting, which leads to long, rambling voice messages, which leads to late-night phone calls that remind you of when you were fifteen and still kept in touch. When August fades into September, you feel like you’ve got your best friend back. 

You remember why you were so in love with him at fourteen.

--

You see Jake before he sees you.  

Among the throngs of people, you manage to spot the dark, messy flop of hair on his head weighed down by a nice pair of wireless headphones. After a thirteen-hour flight from Seoul, a four-hour layover in Frankfurt and a final, two-hour flight to Edinburgh, he looks rightfully exhausted, using what looks like the last of his energy to spot the exit and the airport bus stop. Even wearing a simple denim jacket, white tee and grey sweatpants, he’s so gorgeous you forget what you came here for, until he almost walks right past you without seeing you. You put yourself in his path and hold your hand-written banner up, making yourself as obvious as you can as you call out his name. 

When he sees you, he stops dead in his tracks for a second, someone almost running into him before he remembers the crowd behind him. His tired features break out into a bright smile that has your heartbeat speeding up so much, you think it might run out of your chest. 

He had told you not to come, that it would be late for you and he didn’t want to bother you, but you had managed to get the information of his arrival before he forbade you from picking him up so you did it anyway, wanting to surprise him. After years of being apart, rather than waiting another day, you wanted to see him as soon as possible.

Jake briskly makes his way to you, dropping his bags next to him on the floor as he engulfs you in a hug, warm and tight as if he’s trying to make up for all those years. You hug him back as if someone would appear out of thin air and take him away from you again.

“This was the longest day of my life, I’m so happy to see you,” he says when he pulls away, and you’re so happy you can’t even say anything back, resorting to giggling and lightly swatting non-existent dust off of his shoulders. 

As you wait for the bus, he tells you about every trivial thing that happened to him on his trip, from how expensive a sandwich is at the airport to the German kid sitting in front of him that kept turning around to stare at him on his second flight.

“How did you know he was German?” you ask, amused.

Jake pauses. “Just vibes.”

Conversation on the bus is slightly disjointed as you jump from topic to topic with random pauses here and there before one of you finds something to talk about - but it’s okay, you hadn’t expected for the two of you to be as easy as before. It’s more awe at seeing each other after such a long time than awkwardness. Even though you’d caught up over summer, there was a world of difference between speaking on the phone and actually sitting next to him. You notice things like the shine of his hair, the creases that form on the sides of his lips when he smiles, or, unfortunately for you, the veins that run along his forearms and hands - things you hadn’t noticed previously thanks to the sometimes questionable quality of the front camera of his phone. Once in a while, your thigh brushes against his, and it reminds you that he’s really here. Even that he’s real, at all. 

In a tragic turn of events, Jake lives in the student accommodation you used to live in in first year, and coming back to it two years later is slightly traumatising. His three-person flat is in a different building as your old one, and you marvel at how it somehow still smells the same - like dusty, decade-old carpeting and the permanent stench of students’ dubitable cooking. He’s the first one to move in, which makes the place slightly eerie, but it means that you’re not bothering anyone by unpacking Jake’s stuff and cooking Shin Ramyun the previous tenants had left behind at 11pm. 

Your late dinner was meant for you to take a small break, watch a couple episodes of Friends which Jake had been shocked to learn you’d never watched, and you had been shocked to learn he was a die-hard fan of (since one year ago), then get back to unpacking. But the ramen sends an already exhausted Jake into a food coma so intense, he falls asleep on your shoulder five minutes into the second episode. 

You let him sleep as long as he needs, turning the volume down on his laptop and stifling your chuckles as much as you can. You feel like a cat has fallen asleep in your lap - you are now obliged by law to stay still until Jake wakes up. It’s not until an hour later that Jake’s uncomfortable sleeping position forces him awake, lifting his head off of your shoulder with a grunt. He looks around himself, at his room that’s not quite familiar to him yet, then at you, eyes still scrunched with sleepiness as a grin blooms onto his lips.

“Sorry,” clearing his throat of its grogginess. “What time is it?”

“It’s almost one a.m,” you reply, and his eyes go wide.

“You should’ve woken me up! Does your shoulder hurt?” he asks, much more alarmed than he should be, and it makes you laugh.

“It’s all good. But now that you’re awake, I should probably head home.” 

“I’ll get you an Uber,” he says, already pulling out his phone. 

“It’s fine, Jake, my place is a ten-minute walk from here. I live just up the road.”

Jake’s fingers on his phone pause as he looks up at you. “Then I’ll walk you home.” He lifts a finger in warning when he sees you start to protest. “And don’t fight me on this. You did so much today, it’s the least I can do.”

As much as you love the idea of spending more time with Jake, even if it’s just ten minutes, you still don’t want to bother him when you know how tired he is. “It’s really safe around here. I can just text you when I’m home, if you’re worried about me getting kidnapped or something,” you say, taking his jacket from his hands and placing it back on his desk chair.

He grabs it back, putting it on before you can take it from him again, and rummages through one of his suitcases for a black, woolly scarf. Neither of you speaks as he wraps it tight around your neck, even though the early September weather isn’t cold enough to warrant it. His hands stop briefly on the scarf and a small smile spreads on his lips. You hope he doesn’t hear your sharp intake of breath when your eyes meet. “It’s not about that,” he says simply, voice low and unlike you’ve ever heard it before. You don’t think his voice had quite finished cracking when he’d moved away back then. 

Suddenly, he steps away, grabs his keys, and heads for the door. “Let’s go!” he says, voice back to its usual cheery tone. You don’t find it in you to question him, so you just follow him out, welcoming the night breeze that cools down your burning cheeks with open arms. 

The walk to your place is mostly done in comfortable silence, but it still goes by too quickly for your liking. You keep your hands in your pockets to prevent yourself from doing something stupid, like reaching out for Jake’s hand that swishes back-and-forth as he walks. Instead, you bury your nose in his scarf and relish in the unfamiliar but comforting smell that his cologne has left behind on the fabric. You hug goodbye when you reach your flat, and you have to remind yourself to let go. He insists on you keeping the scarf. “My mum packed me, like, three, so you can have that one.” 

“Your mum still pack your things for you, does she?” you ask, tone playful.

“No-” he says, voice slightly whiny, before he realises you’re just teasing him. “Whatever,” he chuckles, ruffling your hair. You hope the streetlights aren’t bright enough for him to notice the flustered look on your face. The both of you stand there awkwardly for a second, before he lets out another chuckle. “Right. See you tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” you beam.

“Okay,” he says, but still doesn’t make a move to leave. “Okay. Yeah. I’ll be off then.” He gives you one last smile then turns around, burying his hands in his pockets, and you watch as he walks away.

“Get home safe,” you call out after a few seconds. 

He pivots on his heels, and, with a wave of his hand, says, “I will! Go inside.”

“Good night!”

“Night, Y/N!”

When you walk into your living room, Yunjin is sitting on the couch, arms crossed over her chest, gaze trained on the wall opposite her, one lamp lighting the otherwise completely dark room. She looks like a detective in one of those bad cop shows.

“Gosh, what’s all this for?”

“You’re back awfully late,” she says, neither looking at you nor answering your question.

“Yeah, I was with Jake,” you shrug, heading into the kitchen for a glass of water. She abruptly gets up from her seat, following you into the other room and staying close behind you.

“And?” she demands, mouth way too close to your ear and making you start.

“And what?” you ask. 

“What do you mean and what?!” she says, clearly agitated. “I want to know everything!”

“There’s nothing to say, really. He seemed happy I picked him up from the airport, then I helped him unpack. He lives in Riego, by the way.”

“Ew.”

“I know, it was awful going back there.”

The two of you stare at each other as you drink your water. “Well?” she asks.

“What?”

“Is that it?”

You fill your glass again to take it into your bedroom. “I don’t know, we just ate and watched Friends.”

“You hate shows with laughing tracks,” she states like it’s an accusation.

“It wasn’t actually that bad,” you reply, shrugging.

She tuts. “Love will do ugly, ugly things to a person.”

“You’ve been in a loving relationship for the past two years.”

“This isn’t about me. Can we talk about how you’re still in love with the same loser from when you were ten?”

“I was fourteen, and don’t call Jake a loser when you haven’t even met him.” You ignore the roll of her eyes. “And I’m not. Not anymore. I’m just happy to have my friend back.” Yunjin gives you a look. “Okay, maybe I’m still a little bit in love with him. But it’s so little, it’s barely there.” Her expression is unchangingly unimpressed and you can’t help but throw in the towel. “Alright, fine. I still love him, what about it?”

“You’re pathetic.”

“I know that, no need to remind me.”

“Are you gonna do something about it?”

“My patheticness? I’ve tried, didn’t really work.”

“No, idiot, about Jake. You should go and get him! It’d be so sexy if you got together as 20-somethings after knowing each other since you were babies.”

“We were eight when we met. And I don’t know if sexy is the word I’d use here.”

“Anything is sexy if you try hard enough,” she says, and you have to laugh. “Anyways, you should confess your undying love and tell him you’ve felt that way since you met.”

“I wasn’t-”

“Guys might not show it, but they probably get all hot for stuff like that. Boosts their ego and shit.”

“Yunjin, I just got my friend back, I’m not gonna risk it. Plus, who knows, I might not actually be in love with him. It might just be my emotions acting up, like, seeing someone I used to like after a while. We’ve both changed so much, once I get to know him more now, I might not even feel the way I used to.”

“Notice how you’ve used the word might twice in ten seconds? You’re just trying to find excuses.”

You groan. “This is why I hate English Lit people.”

“You do English Lit.”

“I know, and I’m the only nice person that does it.” In your head, you add and Jake, but saying it out loud would only make this conversation worse for you.

“What’s that scarf, by the way? Did he give you that?”

You look down at the scarf like it’s a piece of incriminating evidence. “Can you stop grilling me, please? It’s late.”

“You’re not answering my question.”

You sighed deeply. “Fine. Yes, he gave me-”

“It’s not even that cold outside!” she exclaimed in an outrage. “Don’t tell me he also walked you home?”

You pause. “He did.”

She gasped. “He walked you home because he’s in love with you.”

“He walked me home because he’s a good friend that looks after me.”

“He walked you home because he realised how hot you’ve gotten and he wants some of that.”

All you can do is sigh. “Whatever. I’m going to bed.”

“If you weren’t such a coward, you wouldn’t be going to bed alone.”

“Whatever!” you say, shutting the door behind you, shaking that preposterous conversation out of your head. When you get into bed, it takes you at least half-an-hour before you can settle down, but you know your constant tossing and turning isn’t due to your inability to find a comfortable enough position to sleep in. Between your evening with Jake and Yunjin’s pestering, thoughts run wild and incoherent through your head. 

You want to tell her every little thing that happened with Jake tonight, but you’re afraid it might do you more harm than good. She is most definitely the type of friend who will take the smallest action a guy did for you or the most meaningless thing he might have said and turn it into a sign that he has the hots for you, which usually does wonders for your confidence, but right now, you don’t need that kind of delusion. Did seeing your childhood best friend you used to secretly harbour feelings for make you feel some type of way? Of course, but that doesn’t mean you still love him after all this time, after six years of being apart, the majority of those years spent with no contact. It wasn’t like you parted ways with resentment, or anything of that sort, far from it; rather, you drifted apart naturally, as two teenagers with over 7000 kilometres between them would. At first, you’d call frequently and even write each other letters - but as you became more preoccupied with school, friends, and extracurriculars, your phones gradually rang less and your mailboxes became gradually emptier. You don’t even remember who sent the last, unanswered letter. 

Tonight isn’t the first time you replay the moment Jake announced that he would go away, but it’s the first time it’s a bittersweet memory. It used to only be bitter - but now that you’ve reconnected, you can look back at it with fondness, wishing you could tell fourteen-year-old you the hurt would only last so long. 

It hadn’t started unusually.

“So, bad news first, right?”

In your six years of friendship with Jake, this had been the first time you’d really been wary of what he would say next. The look on his face told you that this bad news wouldn’t be as easy to shake off as usual. Your definition of bad news was things like I got grounded so I can’t hang out, I forgot we had a test tomorrow so I can’t hang out, my allergies are acting up again so I can’t hang out.

“I’m moving to Korea next month.”

I’m on another continent, so I can’t hang out.

You remember the words not quite making sense at the time. “Oh? How long are you staying there?” you said, taking a bite of your strawberry ice cream which Jake had insisted on paying for, even though you knew he didn’t get much allowance.

“Forever.”

You stopped chewing, and the ice cream melted uncomfortably in your mouth. You don’t know how long you stayed there, frozen as you stared at your best friend in disbelief. It wasn’t until he lightly shoved your shoulder, only meeting your eyes for a split second, that you remembered to swallow and to say something.

“Forever as in… You won’t live here anymore? At all?”

Jake shook his head. He kept his eyes trained on the vanilla-chocolate ice cream sandwich he’d left in its wrapper. In the blazing hot Brisbane summer, it had probably fully melted two minutes ago. “At all.”

“Oh,” was all you found yourself able to say. For some reason, you hoped that continuing to eat your ice cream would stop you from crying, but to no avail. Hot, salty tears quickly started raining down your cheeks, mixing with the sweetness of your ice cream when they reached your lips. 

“It’s my dad’s work. Same reason why I moved here when we were kids in the first place. They wanted him here then, they want him back there now. We just have to follow,” Jake explained, sounding just as upset as you felt.

“Right.”

“Are you mad at me?” Jake asked, worry clear in his voice, and finally turned to face you. At the sight of you crying, he let out a small oh, tears of his own pooling in his eyes.

You frowned. “Of course not. I’m never mad at you, you know that. I just… You’re my best friend, Jakey. It’s gonna be so lame around here without you.”

“It’ll be lame there without you, too.”

You attempted a smile. “Well, of course. But at least you’ll get to make new friends, see new places. You’ll be in a whole other country, I’m sure you’ll have fun there. I’m gonna be stuck in boring old Brisbane for the foreseeable future.”

“Do you know how offended our friends would be if they heard you speaking right now?” he asked, nudging your shoulder with his.

You sniffled and let out a chuckle. “They’re all great, but… I don’t like them nearly as much as I like you,” you said, staring down at your hands, hoping he wouldn’t realise exactly what you meant by that statement.

A weight was lifted off of your shoulders when Jake answered. “I like you the most too, Y/N.” You tried not to think too much about whether he’d meant it platonically or romantically - none of that mattered anymore. All that mattered was the feeling of his arms around you, his warmth enveloping your whole body, his familiar scent that you already missed. 

You felt him take a deep breath against you before he pulled away. He sniffled and did his best to put on a smile. “Right, enough of that. I’m not leaving until next month, so don’t think you’re rid of me just yet,” he joked, and it helped alleviate the weight on your heart, even if just a little. “You said you had something to tell me? Good news after bad news, and all that.”

“Oh. Right. I forgot about that.”

You thought for a second. Today was the day you had planned to confess your feelings to Jake - you’d only told him you had good news to share. But what was the point now that he was leaving? If he felt the same way, it would only make his departure that much harder, and if he didn’t, it would ruin your last moments together. It just wasn’t worth it.

Jake tilted his head, waiting for you to speak. In a split second, you made yourself forget your disappointment over having built the courage to tell him how you felt only for it all to fall through, and resolved to make the most of Jake’s last month here. You wiped your tears and mirrored his small smile as best you could. “Um, it wasn’t anything much. My mum made those cowboy cookies you like.”

Jake’s head fell back as he groaned in anticipation. “If she wasn’t happily married with three kids, I’d marry your mum. Let’s go right now.”

You laughed. “There’d be a bit of an age gap there.”

“We’d make it work,” Jake joked, throwing his arm around your shoulders as you walked towards your house. He beamed down at you, his bright, boyish smile that you loved to bits, and you beamed up at him as you grabbed the hand that hung off your shoulder in your own.

You walked as happily as you could. “Do you even speak Korean?” you suddenly asked.

Jake halted abruptly in his steps, a gravely offended look on his face. When you looked back at him in confusion, he rolled his eyes and started walking again, pulling you with him. “It’s literally my mother tongue, Y/N. I speak it every day at home.”

“Oh, right.”

At the time, you thought nothing could come between you and Jake. Not anyone, not anything, neither distance nor time. But they did. A week after he’d left, a boy from your class you’d talked to maybe once or twice asked you out on a date. You weren’t sure why, but you said yes. Then you said yes to being his girlfriend, even though you didn’t like him all that much, and you even said yes to reducing your texting with Jake because it made him jealous. When you’d broken up with him and wanted to catch up with Jake and apologise for your absence, you’d found that his new school in Seoul was a lot more demanding than yours in Brisbane, and he had to spend most of his evenings in academies if he wanted to get into a nice university. It’s when you learned that he’d be staying in South Korea for college that you decided to leave Australia too. Brisbane was a lot less fun without him there - why bother staying? You couldn’t go to him because of the language barrier and the cost of university there. If you were to essentially uproot your life, might as well go somewhere you could get a scholarship and understand the people around you. 

It seemed insane that someone you had thought would be by your side for the rest of your life, someone that was part of your most cherished memories, had been reduced to someone you casually texted once in a while. It seems even more insane that now that you’re finally done essentially grieving your friendship with Jake, he stands in front of you again, six inches taller but still donning those puppy-like eyes and smile of his.

For your sake, you just hoped you wouldn’t be as in love with him at twenty as you were at fourteen.

--

The next day, you show Jake around campus, which wouldn’t normally take more than ten minutes, but takes double that time because of the sheer amount of people there. Between the Societies Fair taking up most of the square, the tour guides leading freshers, walking slowly and taking in their new campus, and the pizza and drinks stands, freshers’ week always turns campus into what feels like the busiest place on Earth. You try not to let it hit a nerve for Jake’s sake, who’s clearly ecstatic at all the activity, but you like this place a lot more when it’s quieter. You walk through the Fair, laughing as Jake marvels at all the different clubs and societies at the Uni. 

“Gardening Society? Dungeons & Dragons Society? Wine society?” he exclaims, astonishment growing with every passing stand.

“And this is only the first day. They also have a Taylor Swift Society.” He grabs a flyer from about every society, even though you know he’ll join between two to zero of them. 

When you walk out, there’s a girl handing out samples of shampoo and conditioner, and you let her give you one, more out of politeness than anything. 

“These are so useless,” you start, and Jake chuckles, unaware of the incoming rant. “I had that job of distributing them last year, and we would get a tip if we gave them all out. So naturally I put a bunch in my bag, but then I had to use them for like two weeks.” You sigh. “First of all, my hair did not like it. And second, the ratio is so off. There’s way more conditioner than shampoo when it should be the other way around, so you have to condition your hair even though it’s not properly clean. So stupid.”

“Sounds terrible,” Jake says, laughing. “Is that why you’re not doing it this year?”

“Oh… Not really. I dated the guy that takes care of this promo stuff, so it would’ve been kinda awkward…” you trail, immediately wishing you could backtrack on conversation. Talking about your ex with Jake wasn’t on your to-do list for today. Or ever.

“You dated your boss?”

“The manager, yeah, I guess. He was only 24, though, don’t worry.”

“I’m more worried about the power imbalance than the age gap there.”

You shrug, looking down at your shoes. “It’s not like he was that high up.”

“So, what happened? Why did you break up?”

“Well, he acted like our four-year age difference meant he could treat me like a little kid. It was nice being taken care of at first but then I realised how condescending he was and dumped him.”

“How long were you together?”

You pause. “Two weeks,” you admit abashedly, making Jake chuckle. “At least he didn’t waste my time and showed his red flags early on.”

“Any boyfriends since?” he asks, and you wonder whether you’re making up the unsure tone of his voice. As if he’s curious, but doesn’t want to show it too much. You hope you’re not making it up.

“A few, but they never last very long with me,” you say, a meek smile on your lips. “Furthest I got was three months.”

“And why didn’t it work out with three-months-guy?”

“He started comparing me to his mum a bit too often.”

“Ouch.”

“Yeah, I ran out of there without looking back.”

“Well, it’s nice to see you’ve got high standards. I would hate to see you date just any loser.”

You want to say, High standards or issues?, but you don’t want to make it weird, so you play it cool instead. “I would never. I have a mental checklist with everything a guy needs to have for me to date him.”

“A checklist? I have to hear about this.”

You sigh, debating whether you should tell him about it. Would he notice it’s based on him? Would he notice the only person that could tick practically every box was none other than him? Jake gently elbows your side, goading you on. When you look at him, he’s got a shit-eating grin playing on his lips, and you give in. You look off into the distance as you start listing your requirements. “Well, there’s all your basics like funny, taller than me but not too much, ‘cause I don’t want neck cramps, smart, takes uni seriously, has plans for his future, easy to talk to, not emotionally stunted and can actually have a vulnerable conversation. It’s also a bonus if he has a nice face.”

“How much of a bonus?”

You think for a second. “It’s more a dealbreaker than a bonus, actually. Nice smile is a must, definitely.”

“Okay. Got any more specifics?”

“I do have some particular ones. It’s nice if he’s a reader, but it’s terrible if it makes him think he’s better than everyone or if he tries to sound smarter than me. I like it if he has experience, I don’t want to have to teach him everything. But obviously I don’t want him to still be in love with his ex. Guys and their first loves, I swear… I also don’t really like picky eaters.” You look over at Jake and take a double-take. He’s typing away on his phone, but because of his privacy screen protector, you can’t see anything. You huff. “I also don’t like it if he has those protective screens on his phone. What’s on there that’s so important that I can’t take a peek? What are you even doing?”

The sweet sound of Jake’s giggles erases any trace of annoyance that you felt seconds ago. He turns his screen towards you, showing the list of mostly ticked boxes that he’s written up. “See? I check most of these,” he says with a proud smile. “Guess your standards aren’t that high.” You don’t tell him that your standards are high, he’s just that amazing. 

You do your best to look only amused at this even though inside, you’re all but freaking out. “Which are you missing?”

“Well, I clearly own a privacy screen. And I don’t have much experience. Not nearly as much as you, by the sounds of it,” he admits, somewhat sheepish. “But other than that, I’m practically the perfect man for you.” He looks down at you with a smile so bright, it makes you wish you had brought sunglasses. It takes everything in you not to scream right then and there. Yes, Jake, you are the perfect man for me, but I wish you wouldn’t say it like it was a joke.

You let out a stiff chuckle, and, rather than saying something stupid and possibly damaging, shift the conversation to him. “What do you mean by not much experience? Have you not dated anyone?”

Jake sighs. “Nope, not anyone. I went on a few dates, you know, went through a few talking stages and all that, but it never went much further. There was always something…” He glances at you then. “Missing.”

“I know that feeling,” you say with a chuckle, and he laughs too, a breathy sound.

“I don’t have a checklist to pinpoint what it is, though.”

You smile. “You should try, it might help.”

“I just… I guess I’m like you in that I also have high standards. But it made me not even want to give anyone a chance, especially since I knew it wouldn’t end up anywhere.”

“Don’t tell me no one has ever managed to reach the great Jake Sim’s standards?” you ask, trying to keep your tone light.

Jake smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “Of course someone has. She’s the whole reason I have standards in the first place. It’s not my standards I compare people to, it’s her.”

Jealousy has never made you feel as sad as it is right now. “And… it didn’t work out between you?”

Jake looks at you, eyes searching for something in yours but seemingly not finding it, and so he turns his gaze away. You don’t know why you feel so disappointed. “Nope,” he says, popping the ‘p’. “She didn’t feel the same way.”

Whoever this girl is, you can’t believe how stupid she is for passing up the opportunity to have Jake Sim. “That’s… It sucks, I’m sorry,” you say. You don’t think spitting on this girl would make him feel any better, so you keep those thoughts to yourself.

“It’s okay,” he says with a small smile. “It was a while ago already.”

“Doesn’t sound like you’re quite over it, though,” you say, and you’re surprised but glad to see his smile widen.

“That’s true.” His eyes meet yours again. “I don’t think I’ll be over her anytime soon, either.” You have to look away to shield the pain that flashes through your eyes from him.

Pretending you don’t have feelings for your best friend and that you’re okay with him being in love with someone else is like riding a bike: even after years of not doing it, it only takes a few minutes for you to be able to do it perfectly again. Muscle memory, if you will. So you sigh dramatically and throw your arm around Jake’s shoulder, slightly pulling him down to your level. “Don’t worry. We’re going to have so much fun this year, you’ll completely forget about her. Promise. She doesn’t know what she’s missing. Yeah?” 

He smiles down at you. You want nothing more but that glint of melancholy in his eyes to be gone. “Yeah.”

--

Jake is only half-glad to see you haven’t changed much from your childhood and early teenage years. You’re still just as pretty, just as warm; it’s still as comfortable to be around you. You’re also still as dense.

Then and now, he did everything he could to make his feelings for you very, very obvious. Either you’re completely oblivious, or the idea of dating him is so horrifying to you, you understand but pretend you don’t. He really hopes it’s the former. 

He arrived in Edinburgh just a bit over a week ago, and you’ve seen each other almost every day. Out of those times, there isn’t a single one where he hasn’t tried to send something your way - something that says, hey, what if we stopped being friends and dated instead? Wouldn’t that be cool? Can’t you see how desperately I love you?, but you never latch on. The ball’s in your court, and he wants you to throw it back, but it’s been feeling more like a boomerang that always hits him right in the face when it circles back than a game of catch.

But he’s reminding himself not to be too greedy. Even if it’s just as friends, at least he has you back, so he’s satisfied with that. For now.

His first class of the year is on the following Tuesday morning, a ninety-minute seminar specifically made for exchange students called Discover Scotland. (He has Mondays free, resulting in a three-day weekend, which you and your 9am Monday tutorial are very envious of.) As interesting as the English Lit courses he’s taking seem, it’s this one he’s most looking forward to - except for the one class he shares with you, of course. Not even because of the seminars themselves, which will be about all sorts of topics on Scottish culture and history, but because of the coursework, as crazy as that sounds. It consists of a singular project, not due until the very last day of the semester, in which he has to travel to at least three different places in the country, research its background and provide a detailed account of his experience there. It can take any form: a written report, an in-class presentation, a podcast, anything. He could even film a TikTok if he wanted. Jake knew that being part of the Arts & Crafts club for two years in a row back in Seoul wasn’t for nothing - his scrapbooking skills would finally have their time to shine. 

That afternoon, he practically snatches you as you come out of your lecture, giving you little time to say bye to your friends, and makes you take him to the biggest stationary store you know in the city. If he wants to ace this project, he will need supplies. Many, many supplies. And it’s more fun shopping if you’re with him. You seem happy following him around the store, and when he asks you if you want to come on his trips with him, he can pretend it’s because you seem so excited about his project and not because he had thought of you accompanying him as soon as he heard about it.

As you stand in line at the till, you tell him that if he wants to start his project now, you could go to the beach together. You raise your eyebrows at him when he snaps your head towards you. “There’s a beach here?!”

“Did you not look at a map before coming here?” you ask, amused.

“I guess I didn’t…” he says, distraught at the new information. It only lasts a second, though. “Okay, let’s go now.”

“Now?” you echo, and he nods. “But-” you start, but are interrupted by your thoughts. “I guess there’s no reason not to. The weather’s nice and it’s not like I have any uni work yet. Let’s go,” you agree, looking up at him with a smile. You’re so pretty he almost forgets to look away, until the employee calls Next in a bored drawl. 

An hour later, you’re at the beach, barefoot on the sand and ice cream in hand. Strawberry for you and vanilla for him, he notes with a smile. Really not much has changed, he thinks. From the sand, to the water, to the promenade along the beach, Portobello is worlds away from the beaches back home in Australia, or those of Jeju Island. But it’s still nice, and because you’re with him, it’s even better. You’ve been walking around for an hour, splashing each other with water and mercilessly ruining sandcastles left behind before he realises you technically came here for his project. He writes down things he doesn’t want to forget on his phone and snaps a few pictures, sneaking a few of you when you’re not looking. He wants to tell you how beautiful you are with your hair blowing in the wind and the way the chill bites at your cheeks, but he keeps it a secret between him and his Notes app. 

Even though he lives two stops further down, he gets off from the bus with you, containing his excitement as best he can when you invite him up for a cup of tea. “Depends. What tea do you have?” he asks, trying and failing to play it cool. He’s just grateful he doesn’t have to come up with an excuse to spend more time with you.

You roll your eyes playfully as you unlock the front door to your building. “I can make you hot chocolate, Mister Tea-Is-For-Old-People.”

He chuckles. “Actually, I’ll have you know I started drinking tea at uni.” When you turn around to look at him, a surprised look on your face, he nods proudly. “Mh-hm. I got addicted to caffeine very quickly into first year so I started drinking black tea for the sake of my heart,” he explains.

“God,” you say breathily, sounding mildly horrified. “A caffeine addiction sounds intense.”

“It was, yeah,” he says, laughing as he follows you into your flat. 

Yunjin and Chaewon are sitting at the living room table, watching an episode of what he thinks is Gossip Girl, and they greet him as normally as these two can, but he wonders what the knowing look they exchange is all about. He’d met them the previous weekend when you had all gone for drinks together, along with Jay, Yunjin’s boyfriend, and they had all but grilled him on his relationship with you. He hadn’t thought much of it, chalking it up to your friends feeling protective of you, and truthfully, he was just happy to get to talk about you. But now, he was wondering if you had told them anything about him that made them so curious about him. If you did, he hoped it was something positive.

He stands awkwardly in the kitchen, chatting with you as you boil the water and get cups out, but he can feel their gazes burning the back of his head. Clearly, whatever conversation he’s having with you, he’s also having it with them. “How do you take your tea?” you ask.

“Um, three sugars and lots of milk, please,” he says, smiling innocently when you slowly turn to look at him, a mix of disapproval, disgust, and offence on your face. 

You sigh deeply. “I mean, I’ll do it, but I’m not sure that’s even tea anymore.”

“You’re one to talk, Miss Caramel Frappuccino,” he says, recycling your bad joke from earlier.

“At least I don’t claim to be drinking coffee when I order a frap,” you argue. “And this is how you battled your coffee addiction? You’ll be getting another kind of heart problem, Jakey.” He doesn’t know if you even notice your use of his old nickname - the first time you’ve used it since he’s been here - but you don’t make a big deal of it, so he doesn’t either. Not outwardly, at least. Mentally, he’s running laps around your small kitchen.

Jake laughs it off. “I thought I came here for tea, not a health check-up,” he says, smile growing wider at the sight of yours. 

“Right, sorry,” you say, giggling. “I’ll make your tea just how you like it,” you add in a sweet voice. Jake knows you’re just doing it as a joke, but it still manages to make butterflies erupt in his stomach. 

His tea tastes even sweeter that day.

--

A few days after your impromptu trip to the beach, you’re waiting for Jake outside of his class. He heard of this donut shop he “absolutely needs to visit” and is dragging you along with him - well, “dragging” is a big word considering you’d follow him anywhere. You got here a few minutes early, not needing much of a reason to leave the library, so you scroll through your feed until Jake calls out your name. You’re only mildly surprised to see Jay leaving the classroom behind him.

“Y/N! Can you believe that Jay and I are in the same class?” he says excitedly as the two boys walk toward you. You feel like a dog owner being greeted by their over-enthusiastic dog after a long day (about three hours) of being apart.

“I can believe it, actually. You two do the same degree.”

You exchange quick greetings with Jay before the three of you start heading out. As you walk, Jake throws his arm around your shoulders so casually, it almost throws you off balance. Physical contact always came easy to him, but there’s something about him doing it next to someone else that catches you off guard. It reminds you of walking somewhere with Jay and Yunjin as they discretely held hands. It makes you feel like it’s not the three of you, but Jay with the two of you. Like you and Jake come as a pair rather than as two individuals. 

All of that from a simple arm around your shoulders.

Jake asking you in a very unsubtle whisper whether Jay can come with brings you out of your head and back into the conversation. “Yeah, of course,” you say, smiling. It’s not a bad idea to have Jay along: hanging out with someone else might snap you out of your delusion.

Most of the walk to the shop is done in laughter as Jake and Jay realise how much random stuff they have in common, from their peanut allergies to the embarrassing Harry Potter phase they had as fifteen-year-olds. Grassmarket is really busy on Friday afternoons, and there’s a bit of a queue of other donut-enjoyers in front of the boutique, but you don’t mind. The sun is shining down gently on the square and it gives you time to choose your donut out of the ten or so flavours available. In the end, you go for white chocolate and raspberry, while Jake chooses Biscoff and Jay, tiramisu. 

“My friend Sunghoon would love this,” he says after taking a hearty bite. “He goes crazy over tiramisu. Like a cat with catnip.”

Jake chuckles, mouth full of Biscoff. “That’s funny, I also have a friend named Sunghoon who loves tiramisu back in Seoul.”

Jay punches Jake’s shoulder, eyes wide in amusement and shock. “Bro, that’s crazy. You have to be lying at this point,” he says, but Jake shakes his head fervently. 

“I promise I’m not. I’ve even saved his number with the tiramisu emoji.”

“There’s a tiramisu emoji?” Jay asks, already over questioning the existence of Jake’s Sunghoon.

The conversation circles back to the courses you’re all taking this semester, and Jake tells Jay about Discover Scotland and the trips he’s planned so far. “Well, if you really want to discover Scotland as a student, you need to go on a night out in Glasgow,” Jay says. Going by the look on Jake’s face, Jay’s idea seems to have struck a chord in him.

“Y/N?”

You nod, finishing your mouthful of donut before speaking. “Yeah, Glasgow’s really fun. We should go,” you say, laughing when the two boys high-five in victory. Between the train, the drinks and the club entry, going out isn’t a cheap ordeal, and getting to and fro also takes a while - even so, the smile on Jake’s face makes it worth it. 

He wipes some raspberry jam from the corner of your mouth, shooting you a wink, and you want to disintegrate right then and there, become one with the bench you’re sitting on and never have to face him again. The conversation resumes as Jay tells Jake about all the best places to go out in Glasgow, but you don’t hear a word - the feeling of Jake’s thumb so close to your lips takes away your ability for coherent thought.

“It’s decided, then. We’re going out tomorrow night,” Jay loudly announces. “Let me gather the troops.”

That’s how you find yourself in line for the club the next day, already tipsy from pre-drinking on the train and at the pub. It’s still warm enough for you and the girls to wear as little clothing as you want, but Jake insisted on giving you his flannel jacket anyway. If not for the warmth it brings, you’re glad to have his scent enveloping you.

The five of you work exceptionally well together. You, Chaewon and Yunjin have been a given since you met in first year, and Jay and Yunjin went so well together that he was but a natural addition to your little group. Jake’s only been here for over a week, but it’s like he’s always been around, and you couldn’t be happier about it. Him and Jay hit it off immediately, and although the girls needed some time to warm up to him (it’s not everyday that you meet your friend’s ex-best-friend she’s practically always been in love with; you understand why they might’ve been wary at first), they now tease him just as relentlessly as they do Jay. He takes it like a champ.

For a little while, you watch your friends speaking over each other, bickering over nothing, a smile on your face. Two pints of cider and some of Jay’s fancy vodka have made you more grateful than ever for them - if you drink too much in the club, you’ll be hugging them and crying about how much you love them. You’re not sure what that might look like around Jake, so you decide to keep yourself in check for the night. 

It takes about thirty minutes before you manage to get into the club. It’s not coat check season yet, so you head straight to the bar. “Sunghoon said he’d meet us here,” Jay says, lifting his head to spot his friend in the sea of drunk students. “Oh yeah, there he is! Hoon, hey!” 

You hear a loud “Jongseong!” being shouted from somewhere in the crowd, but you’re not sure who Jay is waving at until a boy whose face is mostly eyebrows is standing - well, standing as best as he can, with the copious amount of alcohol he’s obviously already consumed - in front of you. He gives Jay a hug and the three of you a nod of his head, a lopsided smile on his face. When he turns to Jake, his eyebrows lift first, then his face breaks into a wide grin.

“Jake, my man!” he shouts, taking a stunned Jake’s hand and bringing him into a hug. 

“Sunghoon? What the hell are you doing here?” he asks, chuckling and frowning in confusion. 

“I’m just partying, man! Same as you!”

“No, I mean here in Scotland, you dumbass!”

“You two know each other?” Jay asks, looking back and forth between his two friends.

“Jake’s my man!” Sunghoon exclaims, unhelpful and stumbling as he throws an arm around his man’s shoulders. Jake shoots you a distressed look but you just laugh at him.

“This is Tiramisu Sunghoon I told you about,” Jake says, helping Sunghoon stand up straight.

“God, what I would do for a tiramisu right now,” Sunghoon says, looking at Yunjin like she might relate. She chuckles awkwardly.

“I have no idea what he’s doing in Scotland, though. Hoon, I thought you were going to NYU for your exchange?”

Sunghoon pauses to think for a second, looking like he’s never heard of NYU in his life. “Oh, that! Yeah, I did an online orientation thing and… it did not go well. Let’s just say there’s someone in New York City who wants me dead,” he says conspiratorially. You all stare at him but he gives no further explanation. On your right, you hear Yunjin whisper what the fuck under her breath. “So I transferred here instead!”

“I didn’t know you were an exchange student,” Jay says, still looking just as confused.

“Yeah, man! But anyways, let’s not talk about uni right now. I’m on a bender, day three, baby! Do not talk to me tomorrow,” he says, chuckling until the smile suddenly drops from his face. “I mean that.” You look around yourself, glad to find everyone is just as baffled as you. “Let’s party!” Sunghoon cheers, intoxicated grin back on his lips. Jake and Jay follow, but you and the girls stay back for a second, taking in everything that has just happened.

“That. Is the most beautiful man I have ever seen,” Chaewon blurts, staring blankly at the spot Sunghoon stood in a second ago.

“Yeah, he also seems to be a raging alcoholic. And he’s what, twenty-one?” Yunjin says, a scowl on her face. 

“I could fix him.”

“Okay, let’s go,” you say, grabbing your friends by their wrists before either of them can say something worse.

Feeling generous, Sunghoon buys shots for all six of you, and you quickly down them before heading to the dancefloor. On your way there, a group of sober-looking girls hand Chaewon a giant, still almost full jug of red liquid, something that costs at least twelve pounds here. They say they’re leaving and don’t need it anymore, smiling as you profusely and astonishedly thank them. You look at your friends, mentally weighing the risk and drugging possibility this might present, but shrug and pass the jug around after taking hearty sips anyway. It tastes so much like fizzy cherries that you wonder if it even contains any alcohol, but sure enough, twenty minutes later, the three of you are spinning around on the dancefloor, screaming the lyrics to your favourite pop songs at the top of your lungs. Jake at a club is a completely foreign sight to you, and you can’t stop laughing at all the silly moves he pulls. 

You’re shaking your whole body to a Nicki song from the early 2010s when you suddenly feel a hand on your hip. Before you can turn around and slap whoever this random man is that thinks he can touch you, a familiar voice whispers it’s just me in your ear, and you simultaneously relax and tense up knowing that Jake is standing right behind you. “There’s a creep staring at you,” he explains, lips and breath gently tickling your ear as he speaks. You look around the room and quickly notice a man standing in a corner, drink in one hand and the other in his pocket, unmoving as he eyes you with a smirk so slimy it makes your stomach turn. To avoid his gaze, you turn around, but you’re not sure the sight you’re met with is much better for you.

Jake peers down at you, eyes slightly glossed over and cheeks flushed from the alcohol, jaw locked in annoyance. He glances at the guy in the corner, who you assume is still staring when you feel Jake’s hands brush along your sides until they reach your waist. His gaze returns to your face as he brings you a step closer to him. Reflexively, you wrap your arms around his neck. 

“Is this okay?” he mouths. All you can do is meekly nod. You watch as his eyes deliberately scan your face, going down and down. Time stills when they reach your lips and stay there. It’s like someone has put the booming music of the club on mute, and the only thing you can hear is your heart loudly beating in your ears. You suddenly feel very sober.

You swear Jake’s face is slowly inching its way towards yours when you’re abruptly taken away. Yunjin has grabbed you by the forearm, leading you and Chaewon to the bathroom as she chants “Bathroom break! Bathroom break!”, clearly unaware of the moment she’s just interrupted.

Because of the queue for the girls’ bathroom and Chaewon’s decision to console this random girl who was in the middle of a breakdown, it’s not until half-an-hour later that you emerge back into the crowd. You spot the boys at a table, two empty shots each in front of them and all three with a beer in hand. They will not be happy checking their bank accounts tomorrow morning. 

“Y/N! You’re back!” Jake calls out happily when he spots you, and you can tell right away that he’s much drunker than when you left him. His whole face is flush, his eyes don’t open quite all the way, and a lopsided smile won’t leave his lips - even like this, he’s so pretty that you want to grab his hand and take him somewhere it’s just the two of you. 

Chaewon gets drinks for the three of you and then you’re dancing again. It’s already one am at this point, and the remaining two hours until the club closes, fueled with alcohol and good music, go by in a flash. Before you know it, the DJ is playing All of Me by John Legend and the lights have been turned on, clear signs that you’re overstaying your welcome. The few people that have made it to closing time stumble out of the club and into the street, heading for either the nearest subway stop or the next party of the night. Since there are no trains at this time, your group walks to the close-by bus station, listening to Jake and Sunghoon grumble about how the clubs in Seoul don’t close until at least five or six and how trains run all night there. 

The bus is already at the station when you get there, and the driver doesn’t seem too pleased about having six mildly drunk kids get on his bus, but he’s probably used to questionable people taking public transport at this time of the day anyway. Physically, Sunghoon is sitting across from you, but mentally, he’s off somewhere far, far from this bus. With his head against the window and mouth wide open, saliva pooling at the corner of his lips, he looks like he’s any second away from obnoxiously snoring. Jay and Yunjin are sitting somewhere you can’t see them, probably eating each other’s faces; she once told you they had their “most mind-blowing sex” when both a little drunk, and much to your dismay, you haven’t been able to get that piece of information out of your head since. Chaewon is on the phone to her long-distance bestie Sakura, for whom it’s a nice eleven in the morning right now. 

This means that you and Jake are left alone, both of you still tipsy and not tired enough to fall asleep. You drop your head on Jake’s shoulder, and not only does he let you, he also takes your hand in his, interlacing your fingers and placing them atop his thigh. Clumsily, because he now has to use his left hand, Jake slips his phone out of his back pocket and shows you the photos he took all evening. As the night progresses, they get blurrier and blurrier, so much so that towards the end, you can’t tell what he was even trying to capture, and you laugh at how inappropriate some of these would be to submit in a university project. 

When he softly says your name, you don’t raise your head, simply humming to let him know you’re listening. You close your eyes, cherishing the way your name sounds on his lips. It’s his tone, tentative and vulnerable as he tells you there’s something he’s been wanting to ask you, that makes you look up at him. He, however, won’t meet your eyes, and settles his gaze on the window, even though it’s so dark outside you can’t make out a thing.

“How come you never replied to my letter? I know it’s been ages, but… I still find myself wondering about it.” The question is softly asked and you know he by no means wants to hurt you, but it still feels like a punch to the throat. You hadn’t remembered who it was that had sent the last letter, while he’d been wondering all these years why his words had been left unanswered. 

He seems set on not looking at you, so you rest your head back on his shoulder. Your hand is still in his. “I’m not sure, Jakey. I’m sorry,” you say, aware it’s not a satisfying answer. You’ve thought about why you and Jake had stopped talking for hours on end; you’ve discussed it with your friends and your mum, looked at it from all sorts of angles, tried to come up with real reasons other than time pulling you apart. But now that Jake himself is asking you about it, the words don’t come easy. You’ve theorised that you were afraid putting effort into sustaining your friendship would only hurt you in the end, because it was just that - a friendship. You could fool yourself into thinking you were okay only being friends with him when he was with you, that putting your feelings aside was worth it since you could at least spend time with him. But now that he was away, you didn’t have that anymore - it just hurt. So what was the point? And how could you phrase all this without betraying your feelings for him?

“Our letters were so sparse anyway back then, even our texts and calls were getting less and less frequent… And whenever I had a new boyfriend, I’d get into the same argument about being too close to you over and over again, even though you were literally on another continent.” 

“You know, I always felt sorry about that.”

“About what?”

“Those boyfriends of yours. I felt like you waited for me to leave before you started dating-”

“It wasn’t like that!” you exclaim, lifting your head again. Finally, he meets your eyes, gaze softening upon seeing your affronted expression. “It wasn’t like that,” you repeat, relaxing your tone. “If anything, they were the ones that waited for you to be gone. I'm sorry I let their jealousy get to me.”

Jake smiles, the tenderness in his gaze making your whole body turn to jelly. He squeezes your hands. “It’s okay. I just… I felt like I was always in the way of your relationships, even after I left.”

“You don’t have to feel sorry about that. They should’ve had more trust in me.”

He pauses, gaze dropping down to your intertwined hands. “I would’ve been jealous.” When his eyes find yours again, there’s something in them that you quite can’t place. It creates a ball of nerves that pull at your stomach. “If I were dating you, and you had a guy friend you were as close with as we were back then, I’d be jealous. You know, I’d assume he had feelings for you. And that you might have feelings for him, too.”

Because I did, you think. I did, and I still do. You try to communicate that thought to Jake, but telepathy works especially bad when one has as much alcohol coursing through their veins as you do right now. So instead, you say the opposite of what you’re thinking, turning away from Jake to avoid his gaze. You watch the dribble of saliva trickle from Sunghoon’s lips. “That’s not a great view of male-female friendship.” 

Jake’s retort comes immediately. “But we were different, right?”

His words echo through your head until they make even less sense than they did initially. Different from what? From who? You’re not sure - but you like the idea of you and Jake being different, special. You especially like the idea of Jake thinking so. So you look at him and smile. “Right.” 

Slowly, his grin fades and turns into a worried expression. “Y/N?”

“Mm?”

“We’re still different now, aren’t we?”

You want to wrap him in your arms so tightly neither of you can breathe. You settle for running a hand through his hair and pinching his cheek. “Course we are.” Your whole being relaxes when his face breaks into a smile again. 

--

The next morning, you wake up to Yunjin plopping down on your bed unceremoniously, shaking you awake, and asking you if you want anything from Snax Café. On one hand, you’re grateful that she thought of you and that in thirty minutes’ time, you’ll have the greasiest sausage wrap and hash browns known to man in your hand; on the other, you’d like to think that she knows you well enough to know to order your regular from there without asking. But that’s probably the hangover talking.

You stumble out of bed, thanking last night’s you for having remembered to take headache medicine before crashing. Even if your stomach is very upset with the copious amount of alcohol it needs to rid your body of, and your throat is begging for water, at least your head doesn’t feel like it’s been split into two. As Yunjin barges into Chaewon’s room just as she had done yours, you head for the kitchen to get yourself a tall glass of revitalising tap water. You’re only mildly surprised to find Sunghoon passed out on your living room couch - it takes you a few seconds to remember that the three of you took pity on him when you learned he lived over an hour’s walk from the station, so you let him spend the night on your uncomfortable, cold leather sofa. While you down your glass in three gulps, you hear Yunjin shaking Sunghoon awake and asking him loudly if he wanted something from Snax.

“Fuck, I’d kill for a Snax right now,” he groggily says before he’s even opened his eyes. When he does, they dart around the room until they land on Yunjin, who's crouching in front of him. He looks like he thought her question was asked in a dream and not in real life. He also looks like he's not quite sure where he is, or who Yunjin is. It isn’t until Jay comes wobbling out of Yunjin’s bed to the couch opposite Sunghoon that the memories seem to piece back together in his head. The three of you watch him like he’s an unstable mental patient and you’re his doctors. 

“No need for that, I’m ordering it on Deliveroo.” He nods his head and goes back to sleep for the time being. 

Just as you’re about to text Jake, your phone rings with a call from him. His raspy morning voice as he asks you whether you slept well makes you want to put your head in an oven heated at 200 degrees Celsius. However, you resist the urge, and answer him with a smile, then ask him the same question.

“I slept pretty well too. I’d have slept in longer but one of my flatmates decided to have a Sunday fucking brunch and his friends are so loud. Can I come over?”

You’re very aware of the other people in the room, especially of Chaewon who has just walked in and is eyeing you suspiciously as if to say, Why are you smiling so hard at ten in the morning? You know the girls would jump at any opportunity to tease you about Jake, and with the added presence of Sunghoon in the room, you can’t have that. So you stifle the giggles bubbling in your throat and answer as nonchalantly as you can. It also gives you the chance to reflect on why Jake Sim asking you whether he can come over makes you want to giggle like a giddy schoolgirl so much.

(Maybe it’s because when it comes to him, you’re still the giddy schoolgirl you used to be.)

“Yeah, of course. I was going to ask you if you wanted anything from Snax, actually.”

“Snax? What’s that?”

“Oh my God, Jake, am I about to introduce you to Snax right now?”

Twenty minutes later, the six of you are sitting around your small living room table, all varying amounts of tired, dehydrated and famished as you dig into your breakfast. Given your current levels of energy, it’s fairly quiet; plus, the food hits such a spot that it’s hard to talk and eat at the same time. Jake eats like he’s never had a breakfast wrap and hash brown in his life. It’s an endearing sight if you’ve ever seen one. 

You spend the afternoon together, watching movies curled up in your bed, and you try desperately not to think about the implications of that - except that’s hard to do when Jake is right next to you, legs and arms ever-so-slightly brushing against yours, his warmth so close yet so out of reach. You purposefully let him pick movies you’ve already seen so that you don’t have to focus on anything but your own thoughts and the faint but dizzying scent of his body wash. The both of you had an innumerable amount of sleepovers as kids, so this shouldn’t feel weird, but it decidedly does, probably because you’re much more aware of him now in a way you weren’t before.  

As hard as you try to figure out what exactly he meant by “different,” you draw a blank. The only way you’ll understand is if you ask him, and you’re far too scared to do that. You don’t want to seem so hung upon a singular word he used when he was tipsy. It might be slightly dramatic, but you felt like some sort of balance had been restored since Jake was back in your life - the problem was it made you scared to do anything that might threaten this newfound equilibrium. It at least seems like different means a good thing to him, and that’s enough for you. 

You look over to him when the second movie comes to an end. He’s sleeping peacefully, lashes caressing the skin under his eyes and cheeks looking rounder than usual. It’d be so easy to reach a finger out and trace the line descending from the top of his forehead to his chin, gliding along the bump of his nose and feeling the plumpness of his rosy lips, but you settle for drawing that line with your eyes instead.  

You don’t think you’ll be able to fall asleep with him next to you and your heart beating so loudly in your ears, but you find yourself waking up a few hours later, the sun already starting to set. Jake is already awake, scrolling on his phone, one arm casually behind his head as if being in your bed is as comfortable to him as being in his own. When he sees you’ve woken up, his honey-coated smile washes warmly over you, and he makes a joke about how he keeps on falling asleep when he’s with you. “I feel that at ease, I guess,” he says, and you hope you’re not making up the small blush that spreads over his cheeks. 

--

Semesters are always a short and intense affair, but this one passes by even quicker with Jake by your side. Before you know it, it’s midterms already, and you and Jake have travelled enough for him to complete his project and make another one just for the hell of it. He had scoured the internet for the cheapest train tickets and most noteworthy sites, planning trips that lasted anywhere between three hours and a day for the two of you. All you needed to do was follow and trust him, which was the easiest thing anyone could’ve asked of you. 

You’ve gone back to Glasgow, during the day, this time, as well as St. Andrews and Aberdeen. You’ve practically visited every loch and castle in a one-hour train ride radius of Edinburgh, and Jake has more lined up for the second part of the semester. He’s even said that your trips should continue being a thing next term, and you couldn’t have agreed faster. With every new destination, every train ride spent looking out a window or laughing about everything and anything, any odd Scottish food you try for the first time, you somehow fall for him a bit deeper. You didn’t know your love for him could bloom any more than it already had - but Jake is the gift that keeps on giving, and, unwillingly or not, he always finds new ways to make your heart speed that much faster.

Attentionate, affectionate, sweet Jake who always makes sure you’re comfortable wherever you go, always gives you his jacket or tucks your hair behind your ear to prevent it from falling in your face. Who, as time passed, grew more touchy, would hold your hand, ruffle your hair, pinch your cheek, which was simultaneously devastating and elating. Who, you could tell, started to linger more, both in his touch and in his gaze. Questions of does he love me back or am I seeing what I want to see? nearly drove you mad. 

--

“I feel like at this point the only way she’ll understand that I like her is if I kill myself and write in my suicide note that it’s her fault for not loving me back.”

Jake has been pacing back and forth in Jay’s living room for approximately twenty minutes, with no end in sight. At least he’ll have gotten most of his ten thousand steps of the day in.

Jay sighs heavily. “Okay, I really don’t think you need to go that far.”

“Sounds romantic to me,” Sunghoon says, mouth full of salted caramel popcorn.

“I hope you never get a girlfriend,” Jay retorts, looking at his deranged friend with a scowl. He turns back to his (slightly more) normal friend and gives him a sympathetic smile. 

“I mean, I told her we were different. Different. That we weren’t like regular friends. I tell her she’s pretty every chance I get. I give her my jacket all the time, even though this country is fucking cold. I’ve even given her a t-shirt of mine, sprayed with my perfume and everything. And don’t get me wrong, I do it ‘cause I love doing that for her-”

“Simp,” Sunghoon snickers.

“But what the hell else can I do? Like, she has to be ignoring it on purpose at this point.” 

“You could always, you know… tell her?”

Jake scoffs, fixing his friend with a derisive look. “Wow. What a great idea, Jay, I never thought of that one before!”

A popcorn lands right on Jay’s cheek. “You’re so clueless, man,” Sunghoon says, a shit-eating smirk on his lips. As if he knows any better.

Jay looks back-and-forth between his friends, an expression on his face like he’s been disparaged. “Sorry, I didn’t know being straightforward and honest was such a bad thing. It would just make things a lot clearer for the both of you.”

“But… I’m scared,” Jake says. 

“Man up!” Sunghoon suddenly yells, punching the sofa next to him, making his friends jump. “How can she ever figure it out if you don’t tell her?”

“You were on my side just a second ago, man, what are you doing?” Jake asks, confusion written all over his face. Sunghoon’s eyes dart back and forth between the two boys, retreating into silence as he stuffs his mouth with another handful of popcorn.

“Just ignore him,” Jay says. “But for once, he did say something that makes a modicum of sense. You think you’re being really obvious, but you might not actually be. Which could be a good sign, you know. I heard girls were super aware of a guy liking them if they weren’t into him, but being totally oblivious if they did like him.”

“Where did you hear that?” Jake asks, an eyebrow raised in suspicion.

“...Instagram Reels,” Jay reluctantly admits, frowning at Sunghoon who bursts into laughter. 

Jake holds the bridge of his nose between two fingers like his head aches. “You’re both so useless, I’m never coming to you with my problems ever again.”

“I’ll pretend I’m not offended by that.”

“I’d rather you didn’t, anyway,” Sunghoon says. He’s smiling but Jake genuinely can’t tell if he’s joking or not.

“But seriously, if you think you’ve done everything, then just do one last thing that’s so obvious she can’t misinterpret it,” Jay says.

“Like what?”

“Like kissing her, or some-”

“Kissing her?!” Jake echoes.

“That’s wild, man,” Sunghoon uselessly butts in.

“It’s just an example, calm yourselves,” Jay says. “Or, again, just straight up tell her how you feel. It’s what I did with Yunjin, and it worked.”

“You and Yunjin are dating?” Sunghoon asks, bewildered.

Jay shakes his head at him. “Where the hell have you been, bro? We were literally cuddling on the couch the other day.”

“I just thought you were really good friends, or something.”

Jake groans, holding his head in his hands. Sunghoon was of no help whatsoever, and Jay was so on point that it annoyed him. Confessing was the only solution - but Jake was so afraid of being rejected and losing your friendship that he had barely entertained the thought. But he had found the courage to do it once, and even though his planned confession had fallen through back then, he could get himself together and do it again. 

It was the day he had told you he was moving to Korea, which he himself had learned that morning. Originally, he’d texted you because he had news to share - good news. Or at least, he hoped they were good. He hoped the soft, lingering looks you gave him weren’t a figment of his imagination but rather the confirmation he needed that you liked him back. He hoped that like him, you cared too much about your friendship to make the first move into something else; that by confessing first, you’d be relieved of that responsibility; that his wish to hold your hand and kiss your forehead wasn’t one-sided. 

He decided not to prepare anything - just a couple sentences that he’d rehearsed over and over in his head. Declarations of love, bouquets of flowers, chocolate and couple keychains, all that could wait until after you’d said yes to being his girlfriend. He didn’t want to win you over just once, he wanted to show you every day how much he loved you. Fourteen-year-old Jake was absolutely head over heels for you; so imagine his disappointment when, as he was getting ready to meet with you, his parents called him downstairs, a tone to their voice Jake wasn’t familiar with, but that couldn’t mean anything good. 

“Your dad’s job is sending us back to Seoul next month,” his mom announced, not beating around the bush. He felt everything quite literally crumbling down around him. His friends in Brisbane, his school, his hobbies, but above all, you. He’d lose it all. And what was the point now in telling you how he felt? If you felt the same way, it would only make his departure that much harder, and if you didn’t, it would ruin your last moments together. It just wasn’t worth it.

What he had planned to be good news turned into the most awful ones. The thought of it happening all over again makes twenty-year-old Jake shudder. But he wouldn’t let himself be trapped by time again - sure, in seven months, the academic year would be over, and he would go back to Korea. But that didn’t mean that those seven months should be spent in agony, or the following ones either, for that matter. You would make it work. What was long-distance to someone who loved someone else as much as Jake loved you?

But he doesn’t want to get ahead of himself. He has to start by really resolving to do this, and in the off-chance that it actually goes in his favour, he’d start worrying about long distance then.

First, he has a trip to plan.

--

You should’ve known that a trip to the Scottish Highlands in the middle of November was a risky choice in terms of weather. The day started off nicely enough - no sign of rain when you woke up or as you watched the sunrise through the train window. Clouds turned the sky a bright white at first, then increasingly greyer and greyer. You feel the first drops of rain after lunch as you walk around a small village. By four pm, it’s pitch black and storming like you’ve rarely seen before. You head into a pub to grab a drink as you wait for the rain to subside, but subside it does not. You end up ordering fish and chips, one each, although one serving is enough to feed three. Even after taking your time eating, the bad weather does not let up. The last train, which is meant to be at eight pm, has been cancelled. Luckily, there’s an inn right across the road from the pub; you have no choice but to spend the night. 

The inn receptionist is sitting so low on her chair, you can barely see her over the desk until you’re standing right over it. Her face is hidden by a book and it’s only when you say hiya that she seems to realise you’re there. You had never heard of the book or of its author, but you recognized the cover design as that of those romance novels with repetitive plots and weirdly misogynistic love interests your mum and every other middle-aged woman was obsessed with.

Her smile widens as she looks between you and Jake. “Hi there. One room for the lovely couple?”

“Oh, we’re not-”

“Yes, please,” Jake interrupts, smiling down at her, then at you. “It’ll be cheaper if we share a room.”

“Our only room with two single beds is already taken, I’m afraid. One double bed okay for you two?”

You feel like you’re about to faint, so you’re glad Jake is there to answer. “Yeah, of course.” How the idea of sharing one bed with you is so okay to him, you’re not sure - granted, you’ve done it before, but this feels different. For all intents and purposes, this is a hotel room you’re staying in. And you’re staying in it with Jake. 

You try to calm your breathing as the receptionist guides you to your room, chatting casually with Jake on the way there. As she unlocks the door for you, she informs you that check-out must be done before eleven in the morning tomorrow, then bids you good night and leaves you to it, still wearing that smile you swear has mischievousness to it. The door clicks shut behind you, and it’s just Jake and you again, together in this small room until tomorrow morning. Your chances of survival are very, very low. 

Your room is a humble one, consisting of a desk, a cupboard, two armchairs, a small, separate bathroom and the infamous bed. Every surface seems to be covered with wood, from the ceiling, to the walls, to the old-fashioned furniture. Only the floor is a soft, beige carpet. Especially with the darkness outside, it makes for a gloomy room until you turn on the lamp by the entrance; it casts a warm, golden light in the room, one that would make you feel at ease if it wasn’t for Jake’s presence next to you. The implications of being essentially trapped in a barely-lit room with him are heavy on your mind, especially when he looks this gorgeous with his hair still damp from the rain and the soft lights playing on his face. 

His voice brings you out of your thoughts. “Right. Do you, um, do you wanna shower first?” he asks, setting his bag on one of the armchairs.

“Oh. Yeah, sure.” There has never been such an awkward tension between the two of you, but you know you’re not doing anything to ease it. You hope a shower will help you get out of your head and make you relax.

You feel the tension leave your muscles under the hot water, but your stomach is still in knots. You’ve never been this nervous around Jake before; back when you were fourteen and again in these past few months, you’d gotten so used to dealing with your unspoken feelings for him that you could almost forget about them when you were with him. They’d come back to you when you were alone and dwelling on the moments you’d spent together, on his words and actions you desperately tried not to read too much into but always ended up doing anyway. But right now, they’ve floated to the surface, becoming as obvious to you as a stain on your skin you can’t rub away. You’re scared Jake will notice it, and, in the worst case scenario you often thought about, would run away and never speak to you again. 

At least the raging storm outside would make that a bit harder.

When you step out of the shower, you curse yourself for not having worn more comfortable clothes on this trip. You definitely can’t wear these jeans and button-up sweater to lounge around. Thankfully, the inn provides two long bathrobes that you could wear over underwear and your tank top, but you wonder where on the scale of inappropriate this would be to wear with Jake in the room. He’s seen you in short pyjama shorts before, but this, like everything else that would usually be normal between the two of you, feels weird today. 

You wrap the bathrobe around yourself, tying it in place around your waist, and decide that it’d only be weird if you made it weird. And if Jake found the sight of your bare legs weird, then he was the weird one.

The scene you’re met with as you walk into the room makes you want to retreat into the bathroom immediately. Jake is lying on the bed with his upper half against the headboard, one leg extended and the other one bent, resting his head against one palm, using his free hand to scroll through his phone. His t-shirt has ridden up slightly, putting the waistband of his Calvin Kleins into view. Worst of all, when he sees you, his face breaks into a grin. 

Your stomach twists when he gives you a once-over, letting his gaze linger on your legs. “Did you bring a bathrobe with you or was it included?” he asks with an annoyingly handsome smirk.

You roll your eyes. “Yes, I bring a bathrobe with me wherever I go,” you say sarcastically. “Now shut up and go shower, you stink.” Reverting to insults is always the solution when you’re internally freaking out.

“Yes, ma’am.” 

He takes so long in the shower that by the time he comes out, you’ve dozed off in bed. As if you were a child, he wakes you up with a boop to the nose, crouching next to the bed and smiling at you. His wet hair falls on his head like that of a movie star in a shower scene, which you find extremely unfair, and his cheeks are red from the warmth of the water. 

“It’s still early. Do you wanna go grab another drink?”

“In our bathrobes?” you say, laughing. “Nah, I don’t really feel like drinking anyway.” Read: I’m not sure what I’ll do with alcohol in me.

“Okay, no worries. Um, I think I saw they had board games in the lobby?”

Your ears perk up at this. “Ooh, what kind of board games?”

Putting jeans on underneath his bathrobe, Jake slips away for a minute and comes back with Monopoly, Uno, and a deck of cards. “They didn’t have much for two players,” he says, dumping everything on the bed. 

You already knew that anything would become fun if you did it with Jake, but you definitely didn’t expect to spend almost five hours just playing Monopoly and card games with him. Neither of you stays put for very long, always switching from sitting criss-cross to laying on your stomach, making fun of the other’s bathrobe even though you’re wearing the exact same thing. You make each other laugh as you make up your own nonsense rules and disregard the laws of your games, attacking the other ruthlessly for a couple extra points or coins. Jake even makes you go get snacks from a corner store that’s miraculously still open because you lose the first round of Uno. 

After some time, Jake lets out a loud yawn, which in turn makes you yawn too. He checks his phone to find that it’s close to midnight already. “Time for bed?” he asks, and your nervousness that had finally dissipated as you played came rushing back. 

You nod. “Yeah, sounds good.”

The two of you clean up before brushing your teeth. Even that, with Jake by your side, becomes a silly affair as he pulls faces in the mirror and nudges your hip with his. You stay behind to use the toilet, and when you come back out, Jake’s already in bed, bathrobe tossed on one of the armchairs. This means that Jake is just casually in a t-shirt and boxers, waiting for you to join him in bed. Luckily, his back is turned to you, so you quickly take off your own bathrobe and slide under the sheets, careful to keep your distance from him. The sheets are cold underneath you, and you know it’ll take a while before your body heat warms them up - although you feel very hot and bothered because of the man lying next to you. 

“Gosh, I’m really sleepy all of a sudden,” he says, words distorted by a yawn. You only hum in response, and he reaches for the lamp to turn it off. Just like that, you’re in complete darkness, and Jake’s body is mere inches from your own. 

It’s eerily quiet for a while, and when you’ve managed to slow your heartbeat and regularise your breathing, you start trying to fall asleep. You toss and turn, unable to find a comfortable position until Jake’s low, sleepy voice breaks the silence. “Can’t sleep?” he asks, and you freeze.

You sigh. “No. I’m sorry for keeping you up,” you say guiltily.

“It’s okay. I can’t really sleep either. It’s a bit cold in here.”

You pause. “Right. Yeah, it is,” you say, even though you feel like you’re sweating buckets. 

The room plunges into silence again, long enough for you to think Jake has fallen asleep. You feel something cold against your foot, only realising as it slides up your calf that it’s his foot. “Jake!” you whisper-yell, withdrawing your leg as he bursts into giggles that warm your heart. “Your feet are so cold,” you say in-between chuckles.

“I’m cold all over,” he whines. “Have they not turned the heating on yet? It’s already mid-November.”

“People are used to the cold here.”

“Well I’m not. Can we cuddle?” he suddenly asks, and he must somehow feel the way you freeze in place because he stammers out a justification straight away. “For, I mean, just for warmth, you know. I don’t think I’ll sleep otherwise.”

His foot finds yours again and you can’t help but laugh. “Sure, fine,” you say with a sigh as if you were doing only half-heartedly for his sake. As if this was some big sacrifice you were making, and not something you’d daydreamed about one too many times before. 

Your heart is beating a thousand miles a second when you scooch closer to Jake, his hands finding your waist as easily as if they’d been there a hundred times before. He pulls you in much closer than you had expected, holding you tightly against his chest, one arm for you to use as a pillow and one hand resting on your lower back. You try to calm your respiration so that he can’t hear how short of breath you are, but based on his own breathing, he seems to be out in five minutes. It takes you longer to fall asleep, every shift of his body sending shivers down your spine, but you manage to relax after some time, letting his warmth envelop you as you drift off to sleep.

--

The feeling of waking up with you in his arms is so unreal, Jake thinks he might still be dreaming.

He looks down at your peaceful sleeping face and can’t stop the smile that spreads on his lips. Jake always thinks you’re pretty, but this is a sight he particularly wants to commit to memory. He watches fondly as the bright sun rays of the early morning hit your face, making you scrunch your eyebrows and bury your face deeper against him. You grunt softly, and when he feels you shifting and stretching your legs, he pretends to fall asleep so you don’t catch him staring. It seems like you’ve raised your head, chin tilted towards him - if he’s lucky, you’re watching him “sleep” just like he did seconds ago.

He contains a smile at the joke that forms itself in his brain before shooting his eyes open, catching you off guard during what you thought was a private, secret moment. 

“Shit!” you yelp, practically jumping off of him and rolling onto the other side of the bed. He bursts into laughter, proud that his little prank was effective. Before you can scold him, he makes his way to you, wrapping an arm around your waist and bringing your back against his chest. He thinks he feels your body tense; but then you bring your hand over his, swiping your thumb back and forth against his skin, and you relax in his hold. “You’re so annoying,” you complain, but your voice is tender, almost weak.

He buries his face in your hair, trying not to be too loud when he inhales there. “Sorry,” he says, the smile evident in his voice. “The opportunity was right there. Caught you staring, huh?”

“You’re such an idiot.”

“I’ll take that as a yes.” It’s quiet for a few minutes, and Jake is more than happy to enjoy this moment in silence, but there’s something burning the tip of his tongue. It’s been there for a while now, but he thinks he’s finally found the right moment. “Y/N?”

“Mm?”

“There’s something I couldn’t tell you last night, but I feel oddly okay saying it right now. Are you listening?” 

“I am, yeah,” you say gently, voice so soft it caresses his skin and draws goosebumps from it.

His chest expands and falls with a deep, shaky breath. With your back right against it, he’s scared you’ll hear that his heart is beating faster than it should. “Bad news first?” he says with a nervous chuckle.

“Uh-oh.”

“There’s no roundabout way to say this, so here goes, I guess.” He takes another breath. “I’m in love with you, Y/N.” You tense in his embrace, and he waits for you to say something, anything before he continues.

“Oh,” is all you say. He hopes it’s a good oh - even if it isn’t, he doesn’t let it deter him.

“Yeah. I really debated telling you this… I know you might not feel the same way. But I also know that if I don’t say anything and make the same mistake twice, I’ll beat myself up over it for the rest of my life.”

“The same mistake?” you ask, looking at him over your shoulder.

He gazes down at you tenderly, pushing hair away from your face with a gentle hand. “I already felt that way back when we lived in Australia. I was about to tell you but when I learned that I was moving, I didn’t wanna risk ruining the little time we had left together.”

The look on your face both breaks his heart and patches it up again. “Jakey…” you say, voice just a whisper. You turn around to face him and bury your face in the crook of his neck. The fact that you’re not saying much is making his stomach twist in agonising stress, but he takes it as a good sign that you’re still holding him tight and not running away.

“I think I’d be the luckiest guy on Earth if you felt the same way,” he says, hopefulness clear in his voice. 

And then he finally hears the words he’s been dying to hear all these years. “Of course, I feel the same way, Jake,” you say, eyes meeting his. “This isn’t bad news at all, it’s like, the best possible news ever.”

It takes him a few seconds, but when your words sink in, a bright smile graces his features. He feels tears coming up - tears of relief that you feel the same way, of sadness that it took the both of you so long to get here, of happiness that something new might start - he’s not sure. Perhaps everything at once.

“Of course?” he echoes, smiling wildly. “It wasn’t obvious to me.”

“Oh, gosh,” you murmur, burying yourself into him once more. “I can’t believe this is actually happening.”

He tightened his hold around you, bringing you to him as close as physically possible. “Me neither.”

The feeling of you tangling your bare legs with his and bunching up the fabric of his t-shirt in your fist awakens something in him - he had been in his head, thanking the heavens that you loved him back, reeling from his belated confession, but he was now very aware of his body. And of yours. He was reminded of Jay telling him to kiss you - although he hadn’t needed to go there to reveal his feelings to you, it was still a possibility. It was even more so now that he knew you felt the same way. 

He tries to be subtle as he brushes a hand up your back to the nape of your neck, gently grazing his fingernails against the skin there. He has to suppress a self-satisfied smirk when he feels you squirm under his touch, lifting your head to fix him with a scolding look. Your stern expression fades as soon as his eyes fall on your lips, however, and you quickly mirror his gaze. His lips part, and he feels his whole body shake as he takes a deep breath in. Who knew that you’d share your first kiss on a random Sunday morning in the fuckass middle of nowhere in Scotland?

Maybe you take pity on him, or you recognise the effort put into being the one to make the first move, or, as he’d like to think, you just really want to kiss him - either way, you’re the one who closes the gap and presses your lips to his.

Your lips. So soft, so delicate against his, absolutely perfect. It’s a simple, tentative touch, but he’s craved it for so long that it makes his head spin. He frowns, despite himself instantly needing more than this feather-like feeling of your lips brushing against each other. His mind tells him to calm down and take it slow, but his body takes over, urging him to grab the nape of your neck a little harder, to hold you a little closer to him, to kiss you a little stronger. Thankfully, you let him do all of this and more, hands finding purchase in his hair and returning his intensity tenfold. 

He doesn’t know what’s better - the fact that you’re kissing him or the kiss itself. The way your lips move against his is intoxicating; it wraps itself around its mind and leaves no room for thoughts that aren’t of you. You seem to want him as desperately as he wants you, to have waited for him as long as he did for you, and this is what drives him crazy. You press your body against his and he sees stars; you let out a moan against his lips and he kisses you deeper, ready to do anything to hear that melody again. 

Unfortunately, the only melody he gets to hear is that of his phone alarm, informing you that it’s quarter to eleven and that you have fifteen minutes to leave. Check-out at eleven am had sounded nice yesterday; now, he would stay in this dingy inn his whole life if it meant he got to keep kissing you. 

The both of you reluctantly break apart, bursting into giddy laughter when your eyes meet. As said before, Jake always thinks you’re pretty, but with your pupils blown and your lips plump from kissing, this might just be the prettiest he’s ever seen you. 

“You know, I like you a lot, but I’d like you even more if you could stop time,” you say.

He looks down at you with a smile, pushing away the strands of hair that had fallen on your face. “Sure, I’ll learn how to control time for you.”

“Thanks, Jakey.” You peck his lips, lingering, and he closes his eyes to savour your sweetness. 

“Anything for you, baby.” His eyes widen at the nickname slip, but you erupt into giggles.

“Baby?”

“Would you look at the time, we really got to go,” he says, detangling his limbs from yours. He pauses for a second. “Baby,” he repeats, pressing a quick kiss to your forehead before bouncing from the bed.

You get ready together, and the mundane tasks of stripping sheets from a bed and packing bags become the funnest things he’s ever done. You’re all over each other, attacking the other with kisses and hugs; Jake doesn’t think he’s ever felt quite this happy. 

And this is only the beginning.

--

There’s a glint in the receptionist’s eyes when you check out of your room, as if she knew something you and Jake had been oblivious to all along. It’s the only one in town, so you go back to the little pub for a full breakfast with eggs, hash browns, haggis, and sausages. You get coffee so strong you think you might not sleep for the next four days, while Jake drinks tea that is equal parts sugar, milk, and actual tea.

From the moment you leave the pub to the moment you arrive at your doorstep, Jake’s hands barely leave yours. When they have to, like when you’re searching for the perfect seat on the train or when the controller checks your tickets, they’re back together within a minute, like two magnets that can’t stay apart for too long. The rain has long subsided, leaving place to a bright blue sky and wet blades of grass that shine in the sun. 

Now that your mutual feelings don’t need to be kept secret, you tell each other about everything you had to go through, like you pretending your good news was your mum having baked the cookies Jake liked and him seeing your new boyfriends every two months on your close friends story. He tells you about all the hints he’s dropped, causing you to facepalm over and over again. It feels like two friends catching each other to speed on all the latest gossip, except the topic of that gossip is you.

The juxtaposition of your familiarity with Jake with the novelty of behaving like a couple, of not having to hold back with your touches or gazes or words, is nothing if not jarring. But you have a feeling you’ll get used to it in no time. 

As you unlock the front door to your building, you don’t ask him if he’s coming up - to you, it’s a given that you’ll be spending the rest of today and every day after that together. So when he doesn’t follow you, staying still on the threshold, you turn around with a questioning look on your face. 

“There’s something I need to do this afternoon,” he says, taking both of your hands in his.

“Can’t I come with?” you say. Jake wavers for a second, but sadly, he stays firm in his decision.

“Sorry, baby, it’s a surprise. I’ll be back at seven with takeout?”

You can’t possibly be mad at him when he calls you baby and offers food in the same breath. “Only if you bring takeout.”

“You only love me because I feed you, don’t you?” he asks, a smile on his face.

“Yup,” you reply. You’re standing on a step, so you bend down to kiss him - you intend for it to be a peck, but when your lips touch, you’re unable to pull away. You let yourself get lost in the feeling of his lips on yours, in the warmth that takes over your body and makes your brain all fuzzy. 

A loud, affronted gasp from behind you makes you jump from Jake, and when you turn around, Chaewon and Yunjin are standing in the stairwell, staring at you with wide eyes and gaping mouths. 

“So this was a sexcapade?” is, much to your horror, the first thing Yunjin says.

Thanks to Chaewon, neither you nor Jake have the time to dwell on this sentence as she comes running down the stairs and pounces on you. You don’t know how a woman so small can have such force, but her hug is so tight you can barely breathe, let alone hug her back properly. “I knew you could do it!” she exclaims. When she pulls away, she seems so moved, it looks like she’s about to cry. “You finally popped your Jake cherry,” she whispers, but it’s loud enough for Jake to hear. A bark of laughter escapes his throat.

“Okay, thanks, guys,” you say, escaping this awkward situation and going up the stairs. “I’ll see you later, Jake!” you yell over your shoulder. The girls seem to be on their way out, and you’re more than happy leaving him to deal with them on his own. God knows you’ll get the worst of it when they come back. 

As soon as you get to your flat, you make a beeline for your bedroom, plopping on the bed. You’re the same person, and this is the same room. But something within you feels entirely different, like a scar that you had been carrying around had, without you even noticing, healed so well you could barely see it anymore. You lifted your hands in the air, looked at the back of them, then at your palms. They were the same old hands that had been with you your whole life, and you were almost shocked that there wasn’t something utterly different about them after having held Jake’s hand for so long. Just to be sure, you sniffed your right hand, but it didn’t smell any different, either. But you still felt Jake’s hand on yours, like headphones you’d been wearing for hours and still felt on your ears after taking them off.

Yunjin and Chaewon are back from their shopping half-an-hour later; they got you a chocolate fudge cake from Tesco to congratulate you. “You guys are acting like this is my birthday…” you say, eyeing the cake greedily as Chaewon cuts it into three equal parts (even though it says serves eight on the packaging). 

“This is more important than your birthday, Y/N,” Yunjin states as she pours oat milk into three cups of Earl Grey tea. “This is, like, the moment of a lifetime.”

“Are you saying a girl’s importance depends on her having a boyfriend?”

“Yes, Y/N, that’s exactly what I’m saying. Especially when said boyfriend is the guy she’s been pining after for all of her teenage and adult life.”

You sigh. “Well, he hasn’t exactly popped the boyfriend and girlfriend question yet.” They both turn to look at you, an annoyed look on their faces. You stand up straight, uncomfortable under their gazes. “What?”

“Usually, I’m all for clarity on this issue,” Chaewon starts. “But isn’t it pretty obvious here?”

“You’re still gonna have to tell us everything in minute detail, but Jake’s already told us what happened. He had no qualms referring to you as his girlfriend, so I really don’t think this is something you need to worry about. What you should worry about is when and where you’re going to hop on that dick.”

Chaewon bursts into laughter, and you can’t help but follow suit. “Gosh, Yunjin, you really do have a way with words.”

“I know. This is what having a Jane Austen hyperfixation at fifteen will do to you.”

Following Yunjin’s orders, you tell them about the events of the previous day and this morning over tea and cake. They ooh and ah and gasp in all the right places, ask you very specific questions and even make you draw a picture of the room you stayed in. You’ve talked to them about Jake so many times that there’s only so much to say now - but still, you talk for hours on end, deviating off-topic so often you end up talking about something else entirely. 

You’re in bed reading for your Middle English Literature class when the doorbell rings. It’s seven on the dot, so it can be no one else other than Jake. It’s been mere hours, but you’ve missed him enough to last you for weeks. 

He brought takeaway from the Indian place you’d raved about a hundred times but hadn’t brought him to yet. Somehow, your heart grows even fonder as you watch his reaction to the food, the raise of his eyebrows, the widening of his eyes, the excited shimmy of his shoulders. When you ask him about his afternoon, a wide smile breaks out onto his face, like a lightbulb illuminating a room. Without a word, he scurries to your room, bringing back some sort of book with him. He hands it to you  with a shy smile and curious eyes, eagerly anticipating your reaction. The cover reads Y/N and Jake in his clumsy but endearing handwriting, with the date of his arrival in Edinburgh and an em-dash scribbled underneath. “I haven’t booked my flight home yet, so I’ll add the second date later,” he explains. 

When you flick through it, you’re met with photographs of you and Jake on all of the trips you’ve done so far, as well as the various adventures you got up to in the city. There’s even one of you sleeping in the library at two am during midterms when you had forgotten about one of your essays, due at midday. Jake had come with coffee and words of encouragement, and now he could brag that the high mark you got was thanks to him. It’s not only photos - it’s also ticket stubs, receipts, stickers, and even a dried flower you had found pretty on your trip to St. Andrews. He’s also written quite a lot, from diary-like entries about what you got up to that day or songs that reminded him of you. 

“You misspelt right here,” you say, pointing to a sentence that reads This is the café write next to the hotel where the last Harry Potter book is said to have been written!!! under a photo of you drinking a massive cup of hot chocolate. The more you look at the typo, the more it makes you laugh, until you have tears brimming in your eyes.

Thanks to Yunjin’s messiness, pens and pencils are strewn over your coffee table. Jake, flushed red in embarrassment at the small mistake, snatches a pencil and aggressively erases write, spelling it correctly the second time around. “This is the level of today’s English Lit undergrads,” he murmurs under his breath. His frown disappears when he looks at you and he laughs along.

You continue looking through the album until you land on a page titled Why I love Y/N. From top to bottom, left to right, it’s filled with Jake’s tiny handwriting. You can tell he put effort into making it neat. There’s a singular photograph of you, one that dates from the first days after Jake’s arrival when you were walking around in the Meadows, the park right next to campus. The sun shone down on you and you smiled brightly at Jake behind the camera.  

You’re not a quarter through reading when tears swell in your eyes, rendering your vision blurry. You wipe them away before they can fall and stain the page. Jake has detailed every last thing he loves about you. It can hardly get cornier than this, but the fact that he wrote this about you makes your heart so full, you’re afraid it might explode in your chest. It ranges from basic things like the way she makes me laugh or her pretty face when she falls asleep in the train (or anywhere, for that matter) to more you-specific things like the strict pastel colour-coding she uses for her notes and her perseverance when eating spicy food even though she can’t take it. He mentions things about you that you didn’t even know, and that feeling of being known in-and-out, of being really seen by someone else only brings more tears to your eyes. Your favourite line comes at the end - the way she makes any place feel like home. A proper sob pushes past your lips at this, and Jake, who had been watching you with an anxious smile, rests a palm on your knee and inches closer to you.

“Why are you crying, is- Did I write something bad?”

You shake your head fervently. “No, no, Jakey, this is… It’s perfect. I’m just…” you trail, letting out a half-sob, half-chuckle. You look at him with a smile before pulling him into a tight hug. “I love it so much. I love you so much.”

You can feel Jake relax against you. “I love you too, baby. I’m glad you like it.”

You pull away after a small while, and turn the next page over. It’s a picture of you over breakfast this morning, with words WE’RE DATING!!!! written underneath it, and those simple words make you so happy, your cheeks ache from smiling. But every page after that is empty. Jake scratches the back of his neck. “I, um, I thought we could fill the rest out together. I debated just doing it myself and giving it to you at the end of the year, but I thought it’d be more fun doing it together.”

“It would. This is such an amazing idea,” you say, flicking back through the pages.

“I thought of it because of that project I had. When I started working on it, all the photos I wanted to include were of you, but I wasn’t sure how much my professor would appreciate that… So I decided to make one more personal. One for us,” he says shyly, shrugging like it’s no big deal.

“Thank you so much, Jakey.”

He smiles. “It’s no worries.”

“Did you do it all this afternoon?”

“I had started it before, but I added it most of today, yeah. Which, by the way, awful timing. I wanted nothing more than to spend today with you.”

Your heart leaps. You’re not sure you’ll ever get used to hearing such words from Jake’s mouth.

Sometime later, you’re laying in bed with Jake between your legs, watching the most recent animated Spiderman movie. With the tips of your fingers, you draw random patterns on his forearm, and if it wasn’t for his occasional chuckles, you’d think he had fallen asleep. You chat for a bit after the movie, but you find that after such an emotionally-packed day, you’re ready to call it a night fairly early. But when the lights are off and it’s just you lying against Jake’s chest, his fingernails grazing your scalp and his familiar, comforting scent clouding your judgement, all thoughts of an early night are thrown out of the window.

You shouldn’t feel so nervous - you had fallen asleep in his arms last night, and it had gone well. Really well. 

“This is different from yesterday, isn’t it?” Jake suddenly says, breaking the heavy silence with a low voice. It’s like he read your mind.

“Yeah,” you whisper against his skin.

No other words are needed. You brush the tip of your nose along his neck until you reach his jawline, pressing soft kisses there and delighting in the increasing shakiness of his breath. The feeling of your lips meeting is so intense, so all-encompassing, that you don’t know if you’ll be able to handle anything more.

This is still new territory, but you’re both so eager to discover it that it makes for a messy kiss, lips moving against each other ravenously, tongues beckoning moans from the other. It’s a kiss that somehow leaves you breathless and breathes oxygen back into your lungs at once. 

In a matter of seconds, Jake has flipped you on your back and is hovering over you, one hand holding him up and one hand free to roam your body. He slips it underneath your t-shirt, brushes it along the side of your waist, his touch leaving behind a trail of fire blazing on your skin. It’s so distracting, you can’t even kiss him back properly anymore. Jake doesn’t seem to mind. At first, when he starts pressing hot kisses to your jawline and your neck, you think he’s giving you a respite - but when he gently sinks his teeth into the skin there, leaving marks that will later remind you tonight wasn’t a dream, chuckling as you squirm and whine under him, you understand that this is anything but a respite. 

You curse your earlier decision of not wearing a bra, because it gives you no preparation whatsoever to the sensation of Jake brushing his thumb against one of your nipples. With a loud gasp, your back arches off of the bed, which only aids Jake in raising your t-shirt up over your breasts. 

He takes a minute to admire the sight of you panting and half-naked underneath him. It makes you feel shy, and you want to do something so that he stops looking and starts doing, but his gaze holds you in place. His pupils are blown with lust, eyes raking over your body and taking everything in. You have a hard time wrapping your head around the fact that it’s you he’s looking at with those eyes. 

His soft lips attach themselves to your nipple while his fingers continue their work on the other one. You’ve never felt this sensitive, never felt this on edge, like you might fall apart at any second even with so little simulation. Your core throbs, impatiently waiting to be tended to, but you’re already trembling so hard from Jake’s attention to your breasts that you don’t know what will happen to you once he actually touches you down there.

“You doing okay, baby?” he asks, the rasp in his voice making you want him impossibly more. You grip his hair and he looks up at you, a tender smile on his lips. You nod your head yes and he laughs. “Yeah? You want more?” You pause at his question. You do want more, but is it worth your sanity?

It takes you a second to decide that it’s worth that and more. You nod again. 

Jake seems to have sensed your hesitation. He tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. “You sure you’re okay?”

“I am. It’s just a lot.”

His expression of worry softens into a smile. “I’ll take it slow for you, love. It’s a lot for me, too.” He leans in to press soft kisses to your cheek, and some of the tension in your body diffuses. Whatever happens, Jake will be there to take care of you. “But it feels good, right?” he asks, lips moving against your ear, sending shivers down your spine.

“So good, Jakey,” you reply shakily.

“Good.”

You can tell that Jake really does want to take it slow - his movements are more deliberate, gentler. But eagerness, both yours and his, soon takes over, and a minute later, he’s trailing kisses down your body until he reaches your lower stomach. Your breath quickens as he hooks fingers underneath your leggings and underwear, sliding both garments down your legs and leaving you bare to him. You think the feeling of his lips on the fleshy parts of your inner thighs is what might actually do you in, make you lose your sense of reality forever - but then his tongue darts out against your clit, a barely-there touch, and your whole body flatlines. 

Your reaction eggs Jake on, who, more confident now, takes the sensitive bud in his lips and alternates between sucking and licking motions. A knot ties itself embarrassingly quickly in your stomach, a knot that tightens and tightens as Jake flattens his tongue against you, licking up your juices from your entrance to your clit; a knot that threatens to come loose when he slides a long finger inside of you. You can’t take more than thirty seconds of this.

“Jakey,” you say, voice practically a moan. Your brain is fuzzy and it takes a distressing amount of time to form a simple sentence. “Can you come here?”

“Is something wrong, baby?” he asks breathily, sliding his finger out of you and coming back up so that his face is right above yours. 

“No, just… I want you.”

Any trace of worry on Jake’s features dissipates as he cocks an eyebrow, one corner of his lips tugging up into a smirk. “Is that so?”

This kind of boldness would usually have you rolling your eyes, but here, it only makes your core throb more violently. It’s almost humiliating how much you want this man. It’s definitely humiliating, how easy it is to swallow your pride and play into his game. “Yes, please,” you say, eyes pleading with him.

He smiles almost giddily before burying his face against the side of yours. “My baby’s so polite,” he says, pressing a kiss to your cheek. “I’ll give you whatever you want.”

“Take this off, then,” you say, grabbing the bottom hem of his t-shirt. 

“So she says please and gives orders,” he jokes, quickly obliging anyway. 

Not once in your time apart had Jake posted any sort of beach trip or pool photos, so this was the first time you saw his bare chest. God, was it one for the history books. You trace the defined lines of his muscles with a finger and wonder how he had managed to get even more perfect. He lets you marvel at him for it, clearly proud that you’re gawking so shamelessly, but your mind drifts back to more urgent matters when he presses himself into you, his clothed cock, hard and hot, brushing against your folds. “Fuck,” you sigh, bucking your hips into his to feel him over and over again.

It’s so much, but it’s not enough; Jake instantly gets your message when you hook your fingers under the waistband of his boxers, pulling him to you and kissing him feverishly. Your lips don’t part as he slides his boxers off, and you drink up the nectar that are his moans as you take him in your hand, pumping him a few times.

“Condom?” he asks, but you shake your head.

“I’m on the pill. And even so… I usually always use a condom, but I don’t want to now. Not with you.”

Jake closes his eyes as he takes a deep, stabilising breath. “I feel totally normal about that. Not crazy at all.”

You giggle, and he opens his eyes, a wide smile gracing his lips before he bends down to kiss you. “You ready for the night of your life?” he asks against your lips. “It’s gonna last five minutes, tops,” he says, making you laugh again. “I’m sorry, baby, I can’t do anything about it. I think I could’ve cum just from eating you out.”

“That would’ve been hot.”

“Really? We’ll make it a challenge for next time, then.”

When Jake plunges into you, it’s unlike anything you’ve ever felt before. He fills you up, slow inch by slow inch, until he’s buried to the hilt inside you. You both need some time getting used to the feeling - Jake drops his head in the crook of your neck and lets out a sound between a grunt and a moan, something you’ve never heard from him before. You grab onto his shoulders, fingernails digging into his skin as you try to tether yourself to him. You hold him so tight that he has no choice but to let his body rest on top of yours, his arms coming to circle your waist and bring you even closer. 

His movements start out halting, the pleasure so overwhelming that it makes it hard for him to move steadily. In time, he falls into a torturously slow rhythm, but it’s the perfect kind of torture, the kind that has tears brimming in your eyes. It’s so hard to take, and yet you want more. You’re brought closer to the edge with every thrust of his dick into you, especially as he picks up the pace and lifts your hips to meet his. The new angle has his tip brushing against that spot deep inside you that makes it hard to breathe. 

You can tell he’s just as close as you when he loses that steady rhythm he had found, his motions growing more desperate, harsher, quicker. Conscious of your roommates, you slap a hand over your mouth to muffle your moans as your orgasm washes over you, your whole body on fire, so sensitive that the few more seconds Jake needs to come undone himself drive both your body and your mind into overstimulation. Even the feeling of him pulling out, drops of hot liquid dripping out of your entrance, is too much and makes you let out a small, tired whine. 

Jake peppers your face with kisses as he holds your waist tightly, brushing his thumb back-and-forth on your warm skin, sticky with sweat. “You did so well, baby. So good for me.” You think you might be ready for a second round if he keeps talking to you like that. “I love you so much.”

You sigh deeply, as if you were just told disconcerting news. “Okay.”

“Okay?!” he echoes, looking up at you with an outraged expression on his face.

“I’m sorry, I love you too, I just- I’m not used to this yet! You can’t just tell me you love and expect me to be normal. You have to warn me first.”

“Can I just warn you now that I’m going to tell you I love you every time I get the chance?”

You sigh. “I guess.” 

“Can I tell you now?” he asks, and you hum. “I love you.”

“I love you more.”

Jake tuts. “I highly doubt it, but whatever makes you happy.”

You hold Jake close to you, one arm around his shoulders and the other hand playing with his hair as you come down from your high. You think he might’ve fallen asleep, and you’re close to drifting off yourself when he speaks. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this. Not just the sex, although that has been on my mind for a while now,” he says, making you laugh, “but all of this. Being together, getting to be in your arms like this, kissing you whenever I want. Calling you my girlfriend.”

“Me too, Jakey. I waited so long I didn’t think it would ever happen.”

Jake chuckles. “How stupid were we not to have noticed we felt the same way?”

“Very stupid. I think we felt so sorry for ourselves that we were stuck in one-sided love, that we didn’t even realise the other was going through the exact same thing. But at least we’re now.”

“At least we’re here now.” You and Jake yawn at the exact same time, making you burst into giggles, giddy with sleep and love.

“Let’s sleep, baby,” you say.

Jake hums, burying himself deeper against your body. “Sleep well, my love. I’ll be here.”

--

After years of pining after each other, you and Jake find it a bit hard to keep your relationship to yourselves, or your hands off of each other.

At the beginning, all of your friends had been happy for you, but that quickly went away when your and Jake’s honeymoon phase never died down and the PDA just kept on going. If the glue you were stuck with previously was metaphorical, this one was pretty close to being real. Superglue kept you together, your moments together rarely spent without some sort of physical touch. Yunjin fake-gagged so often, you were afraid she might actually vomit one of these days. It took Sunghoon two weeks longer than everyone else to clock you and Jake had started dating.

This meant that in private, there was truly no holding back. Jake back-hugged you any chance he got, to the point you started to think he was more koala than human - although that’d imply he saw you as a tree. Make-out sessions were a particular favourite of yours - how could they not be when your boyfriend’s lips seemed to have been carved by God himself, soft and plump to the heavens, like they were made to be kissed. Really, you were just honouring God’s will when you kissed Jake.  

The goodbye that comes at the end of the year is not an easy one, and the month spent at home before you fly to Korea seems to never end. But you get there eventually, and as nice as it is to catch up with Jake’s parents after so long, you feign sleepiness after lunch as an excuse to get some time alone with your boyfriend. Ironically, this “time alone” is spent so intensely that you do end up falling asleep afterwards. 

You have to admit, you really did a number on your boyfriend this time - what can a girl do when she missed her boyfriend this much? Jake is still passed out when you wake up from your nap, so you slip out as discreetly as you can from his embrace and get out of bed. You head for the closet first and swipe the comfiest looking sweater of his that you find there so you can stay warm as you look around his room. A pang of melancholia hits your chest - most of the pictures and objects on his walls and shelves are parts of his life you weren’t around to witness. Friends you don’t recognize, places you’ve never heard of, phases you’d never known he’d gone through. But then you see the frame on his desk, a faded photo of the two of you at ten years of age, eating ice cream on the bench outside of your house. Milo is sitting at your feet. Jake’s family hadn’t adopted Layla yet. You realise that even if there’s whole parts of your life you didn’t get to share with each other, nothing could touch your memories, or your future.

You want to go back in time and tell fourteen-year-old you that no matter how painful it might seem at the moment, it will all be worth it for the sight of Jake Sim slowly drifting into wakefulness, patting the bed next to him, and noticing you’re missing with furrowed eyebrows. When he opens his eyes and they settle on you, a sleepy smile will grace his dazzling features, and he’ll say, “Come back to bed.”

You’ll be even more in love at twenty than at fourteen.

permanent taglist: @zreamy @sunghoonmybeloved @lalalalawon @sd211 @w3bqrl @raikea10 @wntrnghts @moonlighthoon @4imhry @rikisly @loves0ft @iamliacamila @theboingsuckerasseater9000 @chaechae-23 @baekhyuns-lipchain @hyuckslvr @vernonburger @amorbonbon @fluerz (ask to be removed/added!)

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[klausysworld]

Hiii I was wondering if you could write a klaus oneshot where the reader is enemies with klaus but klaus finds out she has cancer and is all alone and begins to fall in love with her or something like that.

I totally understand if you don’t want to do or you’re uncomfortable with it.

I’ve Got You

(This is on a very sensitive subject, please don’t read if it will upset you too much and know that if you are suffering or know someone who is, nobody is alone)

Cancer was something that had torn up Y/n’s life. It caused her to push people away all of the time. She didn’t want to be too close to anyone, not when the doctors couldn’t tell her how long she had left.

For a while they thought that the cancer had gone but she didn’t want to risk anything only for it to come back.

So she continued to be closed off, even from her own family.

Being Elena and Jeremy’s sister was hard enough, let alone growing up having cancer. Having two parents who were involved in medical care was both a dream and a nightmare. They made her live according to their timetable and their rules as to what would ‘help’. She knew, even as a child, that her family struggled much like any family would struggle to afford treatment and research and she hated herself for costing them so much.

She was kept separate from her siblings, built little to no bond with them. When her parents died, there was nobody to care for her or at least give her hope. She couldn’t afford hospital bills on her own, she had to seek out other family, like Uncle John and he did help however when he lost his life, she lost the chance of hers.

The people at the hospital knew Y/n well, they wanted to help best they could. She was supplied with medication in the form of pills to at least somewhat control the cancer and they had hope that she would be able to take part in a chemotherapy treatment program that would take place within the next year. That was as much hope as she could have to go on.

And she tried to hold onto that, she would imagine the day that they told her she would be able to live her life full without so much risk.

But at the same time, she didn’t really believe it would happen for her. Not anymore.

Sometimes she wished that a vampire would just kill her, out her out of her misery. Other times she wanted to survive everything her dreadful life threw at her and live a long healthy life to its fullest.

It was why she was so up and down with how she behaved. It was why the way she was around certain people changed so drastically, like Klaus.

Sometimes she wanted to see how many buttons she could push, she wanted to make him kill her so at least it wasn’t cancer that took her out. Other times, she just wish he’d disappear and leave both her and her family alone.

She would wonder if, had no vampires ever turned up to Mystic falls, if she would have been able to connect with her siblings some more, if Jenna would have given her some hope.

Those thoughts made her mad, but also sad. That’s when she would get snappy. Sometimes she didn’t mean to annoy him but she couldn’t help herself.

But unfortunately it made people dislike her which in some cases was a good thing because it meant people wouldn’t miss her if she did die but it also meant that she was even more alone.

Y/n was too young to deal with something so big, it was no surprise she didn’t know how to manage it. The problem was that nobody else knew how to either and so she was forced to try do it herself.

The medication she had been on since young caused an imbalance of hormones and had stunted her growth in areas. It made her hair thin and caused her to become feeble and delicate to an extent. Of course she tried her hardest to build up her strength but she wasn’t stupid, she knew it was much easier for her to become out of breath, to become exhausted or hurt. It was because of this that people like Damon would dismiss her and why she would be cast aside without any explanation. Not that she needed a reason, she already knew.

In some ways, she liked that Klaus didn’t know that she had cancer. He would be boisterous around her, tease and taunt her like he would anyone else. Because to him, she was like everyone else. She wasn’t a delicate little thing that needed to be avoided and fixed.

Sometimes he could go a little far, once he had her by the throat, cutting off her airways as he threatened her. He didn’t know that after he left she was spluttering blood all over the floor as she coughed and wheezed for air. She struggled for it anyway, she didn’t like someone taking it from her. But she never said anything to him, of course she was a little more cautious but she enjoyed pissing him off when she could.

When she was little, kids were cruel. If she wanted to play, they would give her funny looks and say they didn’t want to play with her. They acted like she was contagious, or an alien. She hated it.

So even if Klaus’s attention was ill intended, at least it was directed at her.

————————————————————————

Klaus originally saw her as another inconvenience. He met her when he was in Alarics body, when he went over to the Gilbert’s house to harass Jenna and frightened the others. Turns out their sister Y/n also hadn’t been clued in on who he really was. She had wondered down the stairs still in her pyjamas, smiling subtly at him and going to the cupboard to grab some biscuits. Once she had sat down and began munching, Stefan was storming in and telling her and Jenna to run. At that point Y/n just looked tired and begrudgingly got dragged out the house by a hysterical Jenna.

The next time was at a hospital after he had taken Elena from senior prank night. She was sat in the waiting room, lead across the seats as though she had been there hours. He came and sat beside her, spoke to her and told her to tell Damon to never threaten him again. She agreed without compulsion and kept her trap shut about anything else.

The following few times he saw her, she was less tired and more firey. That’s when he began to take a strange liking to her. She always had something to snap back at him no matter how dark the last thing he said was.

Somehow she seemed to know exactly how to make him tick. Knew how to tease him enough to make him want her to shut up but not enough to physically make her. Though occasionally she went too far and he would break.

Sometimes he felt a weird sensation of guilt swirling inside him, he never knew what to do about that. He didn’t enjoy that.

When she became tired, she was moody and would say things to purposely make him angry. And klaus’s anger management had never been great. He didn’t always mean to react to quick and harshly but he couldn’t help it. Especially when he didn’t understand why she was so angry sometimes.

He knew that she was very much seen as irrelevant when it came to her siblings and the Salvatore’s etc. He couldn’t understand why exactly, she was not less useful than Elena was as far as he could see. Still he didn’t ask or dig on it, it didn’t matter to him if she was apart of the little gang or not. She seemed to hang around him anyway.

He took an amount of joy in their playful banter and teasing nature when around each other. He also liked to push at her buttons the same way she did his. But he wasn’t as good at knowing how far he could go, often she would end up storming off and he’d be left feeling guilty and there’d frustrate which lead to annoyance and anger.

————————————————————————

Klaus hadn’t once guessed that the reason for her mood swings or her pushed to the side nature was due to cancer.

He hadn’t been expecting to see her name on labels of samples of blood.

He was in the hospital for blood obviously, even though he drank mostly straight from the vein, with all his hybrids and his busy schedule sometimes blood bag was easier.

He happened to come across the samples and spotted a familiar name. His curiosity peeked. Of course he originally guessed that it was just normal things like she had given blood or that she had low iron. But something within him told him to look further.

So he began to compel people to get him her files and information. But turns out he didn’t need to, as soon as he said her name the receptionist was yapping on.

“Oh the poor girl, in and out of here since she was just a toddler” she began, sighing and clicking for Y/n’s name on the computer.

“Really?” He questioned, his brows furrowed.

“Uhuh, next appointment is…oh! Tomorrow” she smiled and Klaus nodded pretending to know

“Right for..”

“Collection and a check up” she smiled and turned around to find something, a bag. She placed the paper back infront of him with contained the prescription pills that would control the cancer to some level. He smiled back at her though it didn’t reach his eyes and picked up the packet, reading what they were and what they did.

His heart dropped a little and he hesitantly handed them back to the receptionist. “Thank you, I’d take them to her but if she has a check up tomorrow anyway then I expect it’s easier if she get them herself” he muttered, his voice quiet as he felt a strange sadness forming somewhere inside him.

“Of course” the woman answered “Will you be with her tomorrow?” She asks with the tilt of her head.

“I might be” he replied, unsure and she nodded slightly back

“I’m sure she’d like it if you did, nobodies been with her for a scan for over a year now” she sighed and his heart ached.

He left shortly after and tried to find her. Eventually he found her, much to his surprise, at his house. She was sat on his sofa with a glass of wine and one of his hybrids, chatting about whatever. Without caring he made his way over and grabbed her by the arm.

“Klaus!” She yelped as he began to pull her away from the hybrid.

“He just wants to drain you love, come on upstairs” he murmured, pushing her up the stairs and grabbing the bottle of wine from the table.

“Well he might just be nice” she muttered

“Perhaps but I don’t like the odds” he replied as he pulled her into his room

“Right, because you care if he kills me” she grumbled and his stomach turned uncomfortably. No longer did the joking of her death amuse him like it once did.

When she noticed his silence and the look he had in his eyes, she knew that he knew. It was stupid look of pity that everyone had and that slightly uncomfortable stance because they don’t know how to act around her anymore.

She sighed and glanced to the floor and then him. “Can you not?” She whispered and he frowned confused

“Not what-“

“Oh don’t do that. I know you know. Its fine. I’ve had it forever you don’t have to be weird” she mumbled as she sat on his bed, laying back and staring up at the ceiling tiredly.

“I don’t know what-“

“Cancer Klaus. It’s not a scary word, it’s not Voldemort” she grumbled

“What-?” He questioned confused

“Doesn’t matter it’s not the point” she whispered and he frowned

“You never said anything about it” he muttered as he sat beside her.

“It’s not really the best conversation topic. Plus we’re not that close” she mumbled

“Well…you’re in my bed so I’ve done something right” he joked lightly and she smiled

“I guess so” she whispered.

Klaus laid down beside Y/n quietly. It was a little odd to be so close to her without either of them having ill intentions. He did feel bad though that he made her uncomfortable but he couldn’t help but act a little off. His mind had been replaying every time he had hurt her, he wondered how much it had endangered her life.

It confused him as to why he had this care for her. He couldn’t have cared less about week ago if she had been killed but knowing that she actually, most likely, would die much sooner than expected made him feel something. To know that she was living in pain and fear of when it would catch up to her.

Klaus was a man who liked control, he couldn’t imagine having something like cancer hanging over his life everyday acting as a threat ever time she breathed.

“So you-“

“I don’t wanna talk about it” she mumbled, cutting him off. He fell into silence and sighed softly.

Y/n stared at the ceiling, wishing it would fall on her in this moment. She hated that he knew. Of course she didn’t exactly hide it from him but she also didn’t want him to know. Not because it was something she was embarrassed of, or because she feared he would used it against her. Simply because it meant there was one more person who would look at her like she was incapable and weak. She didn’t want to be stared at like an animal at a zoo by anyone else.

She’d rather he be cruel to her and tell her how pathetic she was just for being a human. She’d rather he scare her and hurt her like he did everyone else in town than look at her like he was now.

She felt her eyes drain of the life that they usually held when around Klaus. With a lump forming in her throat and a heavy weight of disappointment on top of her, she pushed herself up and got off his bed.

“I’m gonna go home” she muttered, ignoring the way he sat up and looked after her with worry.

“Love-“ he called, standing up to follow her as she made her way down his stairs.

“I don’t want to talk, I want to go home” she huffed.

“Sweetheart-“

“Shut up Klaus” she snapped “stop calling me cute little names and looking at me like I’m a three-legged puppy! You don’t like me, I’m annoying and useless to you” she sighed, her voice becoming desperate and she hated how pathetic she sounded.

“You’re dying” he whispered

“Everyone’s dying” she mumbled “I’m just doing it faster” before leaving his house, closing the door behind her.

Klaus left her alone for a little while, and she avoided him also.

He did however go back to the hospital after she had her most recent scan. He compelled the surgeon to show he what was happening, where it was and what that meant. He wanted to know why she wasn’t getting more help, they told him there was very little chance of her surviving even with chemotherapy. Klaus argued they should still try and they informed him of the treatment trial coming up in two months time. Demands were made, he would pay for everything and they would tell her that she qualified to have it free. He didn’t really care what lie they told her just so long as she accepted it.

And she did, Klaus received a phone call telling him so.

Klaus still had no explanation for his sudden change of heart, why he wanted her to get better so badly. He didn’t know why, he just did.

He felt a little sad that she wouldn’t hang around him anymore. Not many people willingly spoke to him, even if it was just some teasing and playful banter. He missed it.

When she had her first dosage of chemo, he found himself in her hospital room. It upset him that nobody had come with her or shown any care at all.

Klaus quietly wondered through the hospital, it was halfway into the night and quiet as he searched for her room. His expression softened when he saw her curled up in a bed, the machine beside her beeping quietly. A singular rose was placed beside her bed as he pulled a chair over to her and leaned down to kiss her cheek softly. It was an odd gesture coming from the hybrid but he tried not to dwell on it as he sat beside her for a while.

Klaus came back during the night as her treatment continued, he would leave her a rose and often a note. He would never know how much it meant to her.

One night he ran his fingers through her hair, only for a handful of strands to come out with his hand. His eyes had enlarged as he quickly put it in the bin and gently lifted to her head to find a clump of hair on her pillow. He didn’t want her to find it in the morning and be upset and so removed it himself.

He didn’t mean to wake her up. She knew it was him without a doubt when she felt her face against someone’s chest. She could hear his soft muttering and the sound of his hand behind her head. It took her a minute to figure out what he was doing and when the realisation hit her she just stared at his chest exhausted. Y/n could remember when all her hair fell out the first time, when she was little and the other kids would poke fun while the parents would tell her how brave she was while staring at her with that helpless, pitiful face. She didn’t want to see it on Klaus’s face as well so she pretended to stay asleep.

After a moment he laid her back down and pulled the blanket back up. “There we go” he murmured softly as he smoothed it over “it’s all going to be just fine” he whispered, stroking her arm gently. She kept her eyes closed and her breathing steady until he left, she couldn’t stop the tears rolling after he was gone. She hated feeling sorry for herself all of the time but it seemed she could never catch a break.

It wasn’t long before she was back home, still on chemo but home. Jeremy was living in Denver and Elena basically lived at the Salvatores so Y/n had the house to herself. She didn’t go out much, she never really had. She only did recently to annoy Klaus but she didn’t want to be around him anymore either so she found that staying inside was better.

However Klaus had different ideas and so wound up on her doorstep, nocking incessantly until she answered.

“Finally love, you and me worried” he sighed and she narrowed her eyes

“What do you want?” She snapped, she was wrapped up in a blanket and wore a hat on her head. Klaud wasn’t sure if it was because she was cold or because she had given in and shaved her head.

“It’s lovely to see you too” he smiled sarcasticly and she glared. “I wanted to see how you were doing” he answered.

“I’m doing fine. How are you doing?” She replied stiffly

“Ah you know…family troubles” he mumbled and she hummed

“Elijah?” She question

“All of them” Klaus muttered “three brothers, a sister and a mother. I can only be glad I’ve already killed my father…though that didn’t stop mother”

Y/n let out a breathy laugh and glance down “I’ll grab my shoes and we’ll talk and walk.” She told him before closing the door. Klaus smiled to himself as he waited a second before she came out ready. She was completely wrapped up, hat gloves coat. Still he didn’t ask, just remained happy to be with her.

They spoke about the sudden arrival of his family and the ball. He said he hoped she would come but her silence wasn’t convincing.

“You don’t have to” he told her “I know you don’t like people and you barely like me enough” he smiled and she returned it weakly.

“I don’t really think it’s a good idea” she mumbled and he nodded, of course he was a little disappointed but he wasn’t exactly surprised either.

“Then perhaps you’ll have to give me a dance another time?” He offered and she shrugged playfully with a smile

“I might be able to come for just one dance, but I go home straight after?” She compromised and he grinned

“Perfect” he whispered and cupped her face. The smile soon vanished from his lips as he felt how hot her skin was to touch “you’re burning” he mumbled before unzipping her coat and pulling her hat off. Immediately she made a sound of upset and grabbed for the hat. His eyes softened as she stared at him with a mixture of emotions.

She wanted to die. That was it. She wanted the cancer to take her in that moment. Stupid Klaus. She wasn’t sure why having no hair made her feel so bad, she had a nice shaped head but her past experience with peoples reactions caused her to hate it.

“Put it back” she whimpered but he shook his head. His hands gently pulled her coat off and then her gloves.

“You have a fever, you’re boiling, I’m taking you home” he told her as he leant down and lifted her up. She looked at him like he was crazy, she didn’t understand what kind of bond they had or what feelings they held for eachother. She didn’t why he would like her of all people. Was it pity? She hoped not, she’d be so pissed off it was.

“Fevers are normal” she mumbled “you don’t gotta worry”

“Normal or not, it’s best we get rid of it so that it doesn’t hurt you” he answered as he carried her towards her house. She couldn’t help but smile a little when he said ‘we’. In a way it reminded her of how her parents would care her and tell her that it was something they would all get through.

He felt her relax a little in his hold and glanced down to see her looking up at him with a lost look in her eye as he approached her door.

“I can’t come in but I trust that you’ll know how to cool off? I can take you to my house otherwise” he told her as he placed her down and passed her things back to her as she got inside.

“I’ll be fine, thank you” she told him with a small smile before closing the door.

Later that day she received a package containing a dress, shoes that matched and a silver necklace with her birthstone hanging from it. She smiled a little and put it somewhere safe ready for the next evening.

Then she continued to settle her fever and take a nap. She woke back up, watched a few films, messaged Klaus to let him know she was okay now, and finally took her meds when she ate her dinner before going to sleep.

In the morning she continued her everyday routine and lounging around until it was only a couple hours before the ball that the mikaelsons were throwing. She had argued with herself all day whether she should go. She knew people would talk, seeing the cancer kid with Klaus Mikaelson. Not that it was date. No no. That would be weird…

Eventually she decided she would go, dance the first dance and then go home. She just hoped that the exhaustion wouldn’t hit her too hard while she was out or that she wouldn’t fall sick until she got back home.

Y/n never got to go to events like Elena and Jeremy did when she was little, but her mother would dress her up when she was in the house sometimes to make her feel happy and pretty for a day. That was the only way she knew what she was doing when it came to her face. She had stolen some from Elena’s room as she only had the basics for herself.

She put on everything he had given her and looked in the mirror. Her hands touched her head with a small sigh before she called a cab that took her to the mansion.

She stood outside it for a few minutes, unsure whether she should just turn around and walk in. Klaud didn’t give her that option when he came wondering outside, his eyes looking around for her hopefully. She smiled a little to herself and began to walk towards him, his gaze met hers halfway and he quickly flashed beside her.

“You came” he whispered, pulling her in for an unexpected hug. He pulled back and cleared his throat “sorry” he muttered awkwardly before grabbing her hand and leading her inside. “You look gorgeous by the way, you always look gorgeous but…not that- “

“Thank you” she cut him off with a smile and squeezed his hand in appreciation. “Am I late? I didn’t mean to stand there for so long” she asked quietly, glancing around and seeing the entire town moving around his home.

“It’s okay, the first dance only just started” he told her, leading her further inside.

“I never really learned to dance” she whispered nervously

“That’s alright” he murmured “I’ve got you” he told her and she believed him.

She let him guide her throughout the dance, she kept her eyes on him and tried to ignore any stares. Klaus kept her close and offered a death glare to anyone who even glanced their way. Time flew, they danced for nearly six full songs before he felt her body go momentarily limp to his. Thankfully his arm was around her waist already so he kept her up. She regained her balance in seconds but it was clear that something was wrong.

“I’m going to take you upstairs, alright love?” He murmured to her but she shook her head

“I can’t do the stairs…I’m dizzy” she whispered and he nodded

“I know, I didn’t expect you to walk up them” he told her before gently tugging her away from the people. They walked straight past Elijah and Elena talking, both turned to face them with looked of confusion and surprise as Klaus told her to let him help her. He kept upright so that nobody would know she was being carried as he supported her weight up each step. Once at the top they walked past Finn and Esther, his mother eyed the girl with that same pity as most and shook her head at Finn in a way that told him to leave them alone as Klaus lead her into his room carefully.

He laid her down on his bed, propping her up with pillows and cupping her face gently. Her eyes focused on his as his cool hands soothed her skin.

“You feel okay love?” He asked softly

“Yeah I’m ok” she nodded as her head began to settle. She felt a little nauseous but less faint. “I should go home” she mumbled, pushing herself up but he shook his head and laid her back down.

“Stay here tonight love, I’ll look after you” he told her

“Can’t, gotta have my meds” she muttered and he nodded

“I’ll go get them okay? You stay in here, find a shirt of mine to wear to bed and I’ll go get your pills.” He decided, standing up

“Klaus…you’re not invited in” she whispered and he sighed

“Then I’ll go to the hospital and get some, I know what you need”

“It’s easier if I go home” she argued

“I want you here” he told her seriously and with a sigh she nodded.He nodded in return and stroked her face, and her smooth head gently. “You can wear whatever you like okay?” He smiled and she nodded, watching as he left.

Klaus quickly made his way out the room, rushing down the stairs and out the house. Stopping for only a second to tell Elijah to keep people downstairs.

Once he was back from the hospital with her medication she was wrapped in his duvet, dressed in his shirt and her panties with no makeup left on her face while scrolling through Netflix on his TV. He smiled at the sight and close the door behind him with a click. Her head lifted to see him and he made his way over with the bottle in one hand and a glass of water in the other.

“Thank you Klaus” she whispered gratefully as she swallowed a pill before handing back the glass which he placed on a coaster on his bedside table.

He grabbed a shirt and some plaid pants before disappearing into his conjoined bathroom. He remerged from the room in a couple minutes ready for sleep. He had a sofa in his room, a mini fridge and everything. Y/n wandered if he ever actually had to leave his room.

Klaus opened a cabinet filled with blankets and pillows and pulled a couple out and setting up a bed on the couch making Y/n frown a little, guilt and confusion swirling.

“You done have to sleep there” she told him “You could sleep here if you want…or I could go on the sofa, I don’t mind” she offered, slipping out of the bed and making her way to the couch but he spun her straight back around and lead her back to bed.

“Under no circumstances will you not be in that bed” he told her, a level of authority in his tone as he put her to bed. “I don’t want to disturb your sleep by stealing half the bed” he teased.

“No it’s okay, I like sharing” she smiled and he raised a brow as he sat down infront of her.

“Oh? Do you share beds often?” He teased with narrowed eyes. Klaus didn’t like the thought of Y/n sleeping with anyone but himself. Even if it was just a nap.

“No” she whispered, her cheeks bushing pink “sometimes when I was sick my mom would sleep with me” she shrugged and he smiled.

“I doubt I’ll be anything like your mother sweetheart” he chuckled and she rolled her eyes

“Oh just come lay down, you know that’s not-“

“I know, I know” he murmured playfully as he laid beside her. She huffed out a breath dramatically and he grinned, pulling her against him. It was strange to be so close to him, teasing and laughing again. She liked it though, and so did he.

Klaus shifted himself under the duvet and pulled it around them. He hadn’t had a girl in his bed for a while, especially the past few months. All he could think of was her so why would he want some other woman? It had been even longer since he had a girl in his bed with no expectations of sex. That hadn’t happened in decades.

Something about it was nice, innocent.

Y/n on the other hand had never shared a bed with a man, never been touched or ever really thought that a guy would want to touch her. She didn’t think Klaus would either, especially not when she looked like she did. She’d lost a lot of weight from the chemo, her stamina was low, she bruised easy and she had no hair which threw most boys off. Boys her own age at least. Not Klaus.

He couldn’t have cared less about something so simplistic. Sure, she had pretty hair at one point but it didn’t define her. He liked her as she was, of course he wanted her to be cancer free and happy but he’d still love her while she wasn’t.

Love. Was it too strong of a word? He wasn’t sure.

Especially not when he was looking at her like he was now. Seeing her so openly vulnerable and curled up against him, sleepy eyes set on the tv and her body hidden under the quilt though he could feel her legs touching his.

It wasn’t long before they were snuggled up and half asleep. She was barely conscious when Elijah’s head popped into the room to check on Niklaus. The brothers had a brief conversation on how the night went, Elijah expressed his caution around their mother Klaus said he couldn’t be bothered with it anymore. Elijah left when Y/n began to stir and Klaus’s focus became her.

He slept with her throughout the night, he woke to find her missing and his heart sank. Thankfully she wondered back in from the bathroom a few minutes later and crawled back to bed with a yawn. Klaus’s lips upturned and he pulled her close again. She looked up at him with a small smile which grew when their eyes met.

“Hi” she whispered and he smiled

“Hi” he uttered back, pulling her as close to his side as he could before she was under him. She glanced to the time, seeing it was still really early. She groaned softly and closed her eyes. Klaus hummed softly and brushed the backs of his fingers across her cheek bones softly. “You look so pretty” he whispered.

Her cheeks tinted red and she rolled onto her side to hide her face from him but it only resulted in him spooning her. He kissed the back of her head making her go redder and her fingers to hold onto the sheets beneath. Klaus pressed close to her, too close. The second she felt something hard against her backside her body went tense and she panicked. Klaus felt her fear and quickly pulled himself away from her but she was already getting out of bed.

“I have to go, I’m sorry” she whispered, heading for the door but he sped infront of her.

“Love-“

“I gotta go”

“Let me drive you, and at least give you something to wear” he mumbled, disappointed with himself for scaring her. She nodded when she realised she was still in just her underwear and his shirt. He sped into Rebekah’s room which was unsurprisingly empty as she had ended up staying the night in Damon Salvatores bed.

He came back and she pulled the jeans on before he drove her home. It was quiet and he hated that he’d ruined the night. He should have thought about it and known she wouldn’t want that, he hadn’t intended to do anything other than sleep but she was so close and he couldn’t help but want. His desire always won though in this case it made him lose big time.

He apologised quietly when she got out the car and she told him it was okay and that she overreacted. Neither of them were particularly pleased with how they responded.

Y/n thought about how the moment could have played out a hundred times over and kicked herself for not just letting him have her. But she knew she would have regretted it.

They both decided to pretend the incident didn’t happen when they saw eachother next. Klaus had turned up on her doorstep that same night, it was clear he had been crying but she mention it. She wrapped her arms around him as he told her that his family had left again and that his mother wanted him dead. She ended up back in his bed, using his chest as a pillow once more.

In fact she ended up in his house, his bed a lot. Especially as her chemo treatment continued, when she wasn’t in hospital he managed to coax her to his house.

“I enjoy our sleepovers” he teased making her bite back a smile and glare playfully.

“Technically you don’t even need sleep” she reminded and he rolled his eyes.

“Well I like sleeping with you” he murmured with a wink and she laughed.

For a little while, things seemed to be getting better. She felt happier and somewhat healthier. She was more confident in herself when Klaus was around, he helped her see her beauty and her worth. For a moment she truly believed that everything would be better.

But things could never just be so simple.

At the end of her chemotherapeutic treatment, she went into the hospital as expected. Klaus didn’t go with her this time, Y/n had told him that the appointment wasn’t for another week because she wanted good news as a surprise.

How she wished it was good news.

She knew as soon as she saw the nurses face. When she told her that the treatment hadn’t worked the way they hoped, she just nodded and asked how much she owed. They shook their heads and reminded her that it was ‘free’ and she went home.

All this had done was just confirm that she wouldn’t live even half of what everyone else would. A quarter if she was lucky.

Vampire blood couldn’t save her, magic couldn’t save her. She just had to accept it and live with it for however long.

That wasn’t even the hard part for her, the hard part was telling Klaus.

After her appointment she went back to his home. He wasn’t in but she went up to his room anyway, besides it was basically her soon now too.

She stared at the bed, god she loved that bed. It was like a cloud and when she had Klaus holding her tight aswell? She only hoped heaven would be similar.

She tapped her fingers against her arm as she thought. With a sigh she went and had a shower, got back out and stared at herself in the full length mirror that Klaus had in his bathroom for whatever reason. She smiled and laughed through her nose at the thought.

Y/n had a lot of clothes at Klaus’s now, she pulled on one of the only actual sets of underwear she owned and sat down on the bed. She adjusted the straps on her bra for a few minutes and fiddled with her panties so they sat how she wanted them to.

Klaus was home shortly after and made his way upstairs to his room. His breath got caught in his throat the second he saw her.

They teased eachother and made little jokes about sex, they both entertained the idea in their heads but he never actually thought she would be the one to make the move.

He didn’t know what the final push was that made her give in but he wouldn’t push it away.

Within seconds he was on that bed, gently pushing her down onto her back and hovering over her. His lips met hers in a deep passion that heated them both. Her legs were nudged apart so he could lay between them. She kissed him back with as much love as should had in an effort to make him understand how much he meant to her.

His hands stroked up her sides gently, holding her waist perfectly. His mouth pressed to hers repeatedly before moving down to her neck. Y/n’s eyes kept shut as she felt the soft tingle of every touch, her hands slid down and unbuckled his belt. She pulled it through the loops with a tug and pushed it aside.

Klaus pulled back and looked down at her hands, he gently took them in his hands and lifted them to his lips, kissing the backs of them. “We don’t need to rush, we have all the time in the world” he whispered, the words made her eyes prick with tears but she held them back.

“I know…I just need you now” she told him quietly making him smile. He leant back down and kissed from her collarbone down. Y/n watched as goosebumps lined her skin and his hands slid her panties down her legs slowly so that she had the option to stop him.

He pressed soft kisses to her knees and then up along her thighs. His hands caressed her legs gently as he pressed an open mouthed kiss to her pussy. Y/n’s body jerked away from his mouth at the unfamiliar feeling and he smiled.

“It’s alright love, I’ve got you” he told her before running his tongue through her folds and up to her clit. Her legs went over his shoulder as her hands went to his hair, feeling the soft curls as her body filled with heat. Klaus rest his head against one of her thighs so he could look up at her as his tongue flicked gently at her little button. Her brows pulled together and a soft sound escaped her as she felt his teasing.

“Klaus” she whispered softly, a slightly tremble in her voice as his fingers made their way up and gently traced her pussy lips. He hummed quietly in response, letting the gentle vibrations tickle her nerves pleasantly. The words ‘I love you’ were on the tip of her tongue but she didn’t utter them, not yet. She worried that he would want to know why she chose now to tell him, why now to give herself to him. And if he did find out why, everything would be ruined.

A shaky breath left her and she put her focus back on him. She pulled at his soft hair gently, telling him to give her more and he eagerly obliged. He slipped a finger into her halfway, moving it slowly to help ease the foreign feeling upon her. His tongue still licked at her clit, though now with a little more pressure.

Her back arched a little and a breathy moan left her lips making him push his finger in so it was knuckle deep before pulling it out with a slight curve. He watched her tighten around nothing as her hips rolled a little to try get his touch back inside her.

“Do you like how it feels love?” He murmured with a kiss to her clit. She nodded and pulled at his curls gently.

“I do” she whispered “I love it” she confirmed and he smirked a little.

“I love it too” he smiled and sucked her clit into his mouth making her squirm and moan his name. She inhaled deeply and leant her head back against the pillows and two fingers began to stretch her open as they pushed in as far as they could’ve.

She took soft but long breaths as her body filled with heat and her hips ground her pussy against his fingers as they curled into her and found her spot. Her back curved off the bed and he smiled to himself, happy to bring her pleasure.

His fingers met the thrusts of her hips and his tongue lay flat against her clit, letting her rub against it as quick as she needed. A soft cry left her and her pussy squeezed his fingers tightly, her thighs squished his head making him chuckle and suck on her softly. He pulled away before she could come undone and pulled her down the bed so her legs were at his hips instead.

He leant down to kiss her lips making her wrinkle her nose and dodge him.

“Sweetheart, you can’t deny my kisses now” he murmured as she wriggled.

“You can’t kiss me after that” she whined and he laughed

“You taste lovely” he teased

“I’m good not knowing” she laughed and he narrowed his eyes before attacking her with kisses all over her face making her squeal and push at his chest playfully. Eventually he caught her lips and had her succumb to the kiss. A soft moan escaped her and he smiled.

“Can I keep going love?” He asked softly as he used one of his hands to undo his jeans. She nodded kissed his jaw softly, her eyes fluttering as she felt his bare legs against hers. Her body tensed for a moment as his cock rest against her thigh and her hand gripped his shoulder. “I’ll be slow” he whispered, “don’t worry Y/n”.

She nodded again and tightened her legs round his waist. Klaus cupped the back of her head with one hand while the other guided his tip into her weeping hole. She whimpered at the stretch and he kissed her cheek, holding her close.

She nuzzled close and clung to him as he pushed another two inches into her and gently rocked in and out of her, getting another inch into her with each thrust until eventually she took all of him. He stayed they for a while, stroking away the little tears that gathered in the corners of her eyes and kissing her lips softly.

“It’s okay love” he told her gently, “you know I’ve got you”

She nodded weakly and kept her face in the crook of his neck as he began to move again. Soft little moans slipped past her lips and vibrated against his throat as he thrust into her slowly. His hips moved perfectly to stroke all the right places inside her.

Y/n’s hands held onto him tightly, so did her pussy.

Klaus kissed her skin gently as he rocked into her, his hand slid down between their bodies and he began to stroke her swollen clit. She let out a little cry and he grunted as his cock was squeezed.

“You’re doing so good sweetheart” he murmured as he began to speed up. His eyes closed as he focused on pleasing her body, he could hear the repeated sound of his skin meeting hers along with the whimpers that tumbled past her mouth. He could feel her body growing tired and knew she wouldn’t be able to go on much more. He stroked her skin soothingly while his other hand rubbed quick circles on her pretty clit.

Her body tensed and she cried his name as her body let go around his. Klaus hugged her close as he thrust into her slowly, his hips came to a stop and she panted softly for air. He kissed her lips softly and pulled out. His hand stroked his cock quickly and he squeezed it tightly until he came onto her stomach. She moaned softly and tugged at him for a kiss.

His lips pressed to hers lovingly and rolled onto his back, pulling her ontop of him. Y/n smiled down at him and caressed his chest gently.

“I love you” she whispered and his heart warmed even more

“I love you too” he told her, wrapping his arms around her waist and sitting up. He stood up with her in his arms and carried her to the bathroom. He turned the shower on and brought them both under the warm water.

“I can stand” she mumbled and he hummed but didn’t put her down. Instead he kept ahold of her as he helped clean them both off. She leant against him, her head in his neck as he wrapped a towel big enough to be a double duvet. He kissed her head and dried them off before setting her back on his bed. He pulled one of his shirts over her head and pulled some panties up her legs. “Thank you” Y/n whispered with a smile.

“Of course” he smiled back and laid beside her in his sleep pants. Klaus held her to him, his lips pulled up in contentment and he closed his eyes. He held her close they slept and woke up early to prepare breakfast.

Klaus wanted this relationship to be right. He wanted to treat her like he knew he could and show that he meant his love for her. So he went downstairs and cooked up some pancakes and bacon for his girl. He plated it up and poured them both drinks, he set the table for them and made his way back upstairs.

His movements faltered for a moment as he heard the sound of gagging. Hurriedly he made his way to the bathroom to see her heaving over the toilet. Quickly he kneeled beside her and caressed her back, her hand reached for tissue as she wiped her mouth, dumping the tissue ontop of her sock and flushing the toilet. He helped her up and wrapped his arms around her waits from behind as she brushed her teeth. She apologised quietly but he shook his head and kissed her cheek.

“I got you something love” he told Y/n softly before leading her downstairs. She looked up at him with a soft look in her eyes as he pulled out her seat at the table. She sat down and smiled as he pushed her in and sat opposite her with his food also.

“You know you didn’t have to?” She whispered softly and Klaus hummed

“Of course I did” he answered “I’ll always look after you”

Y/n’s smile wavered a little but she pulled back together. They ate their food and she helped him clean up. After they got dressed and he started to talk. When Klaus starts talking he doesn’t tend to stop until he absolutely has to.

Usually Y/n didn’t mind his rants and rambles but this time it was about them. He started going on about all the things they could do together and how once her cancer was gone then they would go wherever she wanted and he went on and on. After a while however, Y/n just couldn’t help it.

Her eyes had been watering for a full twenty minutes and as soon as the first tear fell, well it was like a waterfall. Klaus’s face dropped within seconds and his heart sunk. Panic flooded him and he quickly pulled her into his lap. He tried to calm her but had no idea what was wrong to begin with. Well not at first.

She tried to leave, push him away like she knew she should have at the start. He wouldn’t let her though. Not now. He had to block the exit, ended up yelling for her to tell him what was wrong. Instead of an actual answer she told him that she didn’t want to be with him, she began to say hurtful things. She needed him to not love her. Not if there was no hope of living. She didn’t want to leave him missing her, she would rather he hated her and was glad she was gone. Or at least that’s how she thought in that moment.

Klaus was never good when it came to emotions. He didn’t understand the sudden change of heart, the hatred that suddenly blossomed. But he knew something was wrong, she didn’t look angry or disgusted by him like she tried to claim she was. She just looked scared and borderline devastated.

He stared at her for a while and she didn’t dare say anything else. Klaud didn’t want to believe it to begin with. But it was the only thing that made sense. With slight hesitation he stepped to her, he overpowered her shoving hands and forced her into a hug. It only took a moment for her to collapse into it, cries shaking through her without a break.

“I’m gonna take you everywhere” he mumbled softly, kissing her smooth head continuously. She made a sound of distress and she shushed her gently “anywhere you want sweetheart. It doesn’t matter how long we have, I will not have you live it alone and in self-pity” he argued and she shook.

He picked her up and sat down with her on the sofa, he grabbed a world map and brought it over to her. “Come on love, you choose somewhere and I’ll get us in a plane, have you ever flown?” He asked, swallowing any tears or sadness down. Right now he just needed to keep her with him. He would go anywhere, do anything to ensure that she was happy for however long she had to live.

“We can’t just-“

“Yes we can. We will. We don’t even have to pack, I’ll buy you everything new from wherever we go. Just pick a continent, we’ll do a country from each and see how you’re feeling before we go again” he whispered, desperation seeping into his tone.

“You’re making it worse for yourself” she uttered, wiping her tears.

“It’ll be a hundred times worse if I’m not with you” he argued, a tear dropping from his lashes.

They both went quiet and let the situation fully dawn on them for a little while. Finally Y/n glanced to the map. “I’ve always heard Europe was pretty” she mused quietly and Klaus wiped his eyes, pulling a smile onto his face as he pulled her close and kissed the side of her head.

“It’s beautiful. I’ll call for a private jet and we shall leave in a few hours. Would you like to tell your family that you’ll be away?” He asked but she shook her head no. “Then please, just trust me my love?”

“I do…and I’m sorry for-“

“Don’t be. Just know that I love you and that I will always have you no matter what” he told her, a kiss to her lips to seal the promise.

“I love you” she uttered, they repeated it back to one another as she made her way into his lap and rest her face in his neck.

Everything else was forgotten.

The doppelgänger, hybrids, Salvatore’s, Mikaelsons. They would all have to wait.

#the originals #the vampire diaries #klaus mikaelson #hurt/comfort #soft!klaus mikaelson #tw cancer #may be upsetting #klaus mikaelson x reader #klaus mikealson fanfiction #klaus mikaelson one shot #klaus mikaleson imagine #rebekah mikaelson #the vampire diares imagine #elijah mikaelson #niklaus imagines #kol mikaelson #tvd klaus #niklaus mikaelson #klaus m #klaus mikaelson x y/n #klaus michaelson #tvd universe #hope mikaelson #klaus mikaelson headcanon #klaus mikaelson fluff #klaus mikaelson yandere #klaus mikealson smut #klaus mikaelson x yn #klaus mikealson x reader #tvd smut

[bangchansgirlsblog]

Keeping up with the Bhangs

This is a one shot from the little series. Read it if you would like it’s on my master list :))

Warning: Angst

Pairing: Bangchan x reader

Summary: Being a mum is hard when you have to constantly play good cop, bad cop.

**

"Chan?" She called for her husband. "Chan come look at what your daughter did!" Y/n called again. The sight infront of her was painful. Her little girl was stood in the middle of the room looking so innocent but she had created a huge train wreck around her. She couldn’t believe it.

She tried to keep her cool, she really did but she couldn’t. She heard the quiet footsteps making their way up towards their daughters room. Her anger was being tested and she felt like she was about to blow.

"What is it Y/n? I have a really important-" he paused when he looked up from his phone as he stared at the sight in front of him. "What the hell?" He let out a gasp.

The room was a mess. There was paint everywhere and crayons all over the wall. The collections of toys chan had gotten Soo-min where spread all over the place and her clothers (Soo-min) was covered in dirt, paint and crayons as she stood there looking innocent with the crayon in her hand. 

"Chan look what your daughter did!" Y/n raised her voice a little causing Soo-min to jump. She took little steps quickly to hide behind her father who was now standing fully in the room. It had been obvious she was scolded before this because her little hands were shaking and her lips were quivering.

Chans eyes soften as he loosened the tie that wrapped around his neck and unbuttoned his shirt. He was determined to keep his wife calm and fix whatever was going on. If he had time of course.

"Hey, Y/n calm down. Don’t stress out baby. Its okay," He picked up his little girl with one hand trying to remove the paint of her face. Her eyes on the verge of tears as she pouted. "We can just get the cleaners to clean it-"

Chan being calm about the whole situation pissed of Y/n to the fullest because why was he so put together? Why was he such a good calm dad.

"Chan! you dont get it! this is not okay, she constantly disobeys, this is a huge mess! i left her for only a few minutes!" Y/n groaned frustrated as she threw the cups she had collected from the ground into a basket. 

"Y/n, its fine. She's a baby-" the glare Y/n gave him instantly made him shut up and look at his little girl that was basically holding onto his shirt for dear life. 

"M' sorry," Soo-min chocked on her sobs as tears started to spill and she Sniffed. She didn’t understand why her mum was being so scary. She only wanted to draw to make her happy cause she knew how sad she had been.

Chans heart melted at her little pout.

"Its okay mama, no need to cry. Daddy's got you," Chan wiped the tears from her cheeks and grabbed the crayon and paint brush from her tiny little hands. "Y/n look what you've done, now she's crying."

"Chan you cant honestly think this is okay-" Y/n was buffled. Chan didn't think this was okay, did he?

"she's a kid! kids make mistakes, she's still learning. You don't scold her, you teach her," His voice was now loud aswell. He was getting frustrated. He didnt want his children growing up in a toxic enviroment where they get yelled at or abused. That was his worst nightmare. 

“Then fine! You raise them if ur such a good teacher,”

“I don’t have time for this Y/n I have a big meeting coming-“

“Of course you fucking do, why don’t you just move into your office and abandon your kids and pregnant wife!”

Her blood was boiling. It was like she was getting everything off her chest and she needed it.

“Y/n that’s enough. Your acting like a child in front of her!” Chan growled. “You can’t even control this situation without calling and crying for me,” his chest was moving up and down as he was huffing. Trying so hard to control himself but he was stressed and tired and it was like she wanted to pick a fight every chance she got.

"Chan! why do you always have to be good cop. Why cant you see this is wrong? Stop being a bad parent and-'

"Bad parent?" He scoffs and looked up at her buffled, "I'm the bad parent? just cause you were abused when you were younger doesn't mean you have to put your trauma on my children..." His eyes go wide. He didn't mean it. He was just angry. He didn't mean any of it. 

The tension in the air wise thick. The shocked gasp that left her mouth was painful. Her head started to spin. Her eyes turning red as her body started to overheat. The emotions she felt were overwhelming. A panic attack was coming on. Her eyes landed on her daughter, the little girl was covering her ears trying to cover her face in her fathers chest. Was she a monster?

"Papa? no fighting," The little girl squealed as she still continued to cover her ears. This made Y/n's heart break. was it true? was she becoming her toxic mother. 

 "It's okay mama," He comforted her shivering body, "I-Im going to get her changed so i can go back to my meeting. I'll tell the maids to come clean up," he so badly wanted to hold his wife and apologize but with the way she stood in one place he knew he couldn't have the conversation, well not right now. 

The door closed behind him as her little girls sniffles slowly faded in the distance. Y/n was in shock. Her brain was taking long to react. Her hands were cold and all of a sudden she couldnt hear anything around her.

Was she the problem? Was she being hard on the kids? she never yelled at any of them unless they did something horrible, she never intended for the father of her kids to call her toxic. To embarrass her like that.

It was too much, she was done playing tough guy. she was tired of the constant fight of depression. She was tired of her husband degrading her as she stayed home while he was out all night partying doing God knows what. 

She wanted her life back. she wanted to be fun again. She didnt want to be tired all the time. She was tired of being pregnant.

Her face felt wet. Her hands automatically covering her eyes. Heart wrenching sobs leaving her body as she placed a hand on her belly. The doubt of being a mother was creeping back up. The sudden urge to run away and dissapear haunted her conscious. Truth is she was tired of the fake smiles and the big parties and important business people.

Yes, she loved the big house her husband built for them, she loved the grand cars and the golden credit cards but she wanted to feel again. She wanted to be loved again. By her husband. She wanted to be a teenager again, falling in love and being young and free.

She laid on the called floor. Her arms supporting the heavy bump she was carrying. The tiled sending shivers down her spine. The tears still spilling from her eyes until eventually she grew tired and fell asleep.

#skz imagines #skz comfort #skz x reader #skz angst #skz fluff #skz x y/n #skz x you #skz drabbles #skz stay #stray kids drabbles #bangchan angst #bangchan x reader #bangchan fluff #bang chan angst #bang chan x reader #bangchan #stray kids angst #stray kids as boyfriend material #straykids x reader #stray kids scenarios #stray kids imagines #stray kids x y/n #stray kids fanfic #stray kids fluff #straykids

[bby-deerling]

I’m so glad you will write for Sanji!!

Can i please request a Sanji x reader in the whole cake arc where before that Sanji and reader would flirt and have this connection making reader think their relationship would go further but suddenly Sanji decides to ignore them making reader sad and one day he just say goodbye to the strawhats because he will marry pudding breaking reader’s heart (like tons of angst)

Thankfully luffy didn’t believe Sanji and forms a plan to rescue Sanji, so when Sanji and reader are together Sanji confess to reader that he did it to protect them and he was scared this would become his life instead of staying forever with reader?

Sorry if its too much and too especifica dear amazing writer, its okay if you don’t want to write it. I just need a Sanji angst to fluff

I’m also happy the message made you happy, it’s true! The way you write its amazing! Glad you decided to write, post it here and for my tumblr to put you in my page!

Have a nice day!

thank you so much for the request! <3 i made a few lil tweaks, but i hope you still enjoy it!

crazy (sanji x reader) angst w/a happy ending, hurt/comfort, wci spoilers. wc 1.2k

He was back.

He was back, and to everyone else it was like nothing had even happened—even Nami had forgiven him with relative ease.  The whole crew was acting as if the events of the last week and some change were a complete dream, and he never left.

As if he hadn’t been about to marry someone else.

You were a complete fool, thinking you could capture the heart of a man who constantly flitted from one woman to the next.  No stranger to the art of seduction, he threw himself at almost any woman that crossed his path, and on rare occasions, had gotten lucky when the occasional girl on an island would throw him a bone, but he had done so much to try to assure you his affections for you were genuine. 

Neither of you had confessed your true feelings for each other outright other than Sanji's dramatic professions that you would be a fool to take seriously; prior to his departure, you had been trapped in a delicate dance back and forth with each other that had slowly bloomed into something that felt more serious—at least it did to you.  It seemed so silly looking back on it—despite the way that he had toned down his flirtations with other women in order to convince you to fall for him, you should have known it was a matter of time until he went back to his natural habits.  The teasing touches, comfortable silence while doing dishes, and long, emotional talks over a late-night cigarette could only have kept him captivated for so long before moving along to someone else.

Despite the massive headache and heartache the cook was causing, you couldn’t even call him on it right now; after him having been through so much with his biological family, it would be nothing short of cruel to attack him over his wandering eye.  Still, you couldn’t help but hurt tremendously as he served drinks to you and Nami, mask of a smile on his face, without so much as a conversation with you about what had transpired, much less where the two of you stood with each other.  In fact, he seemed to be avoiding you, slipping into the kitchen if he saw you flagging him down on the deck, and contrived some reason to leave if you entered his workspace.

As you suck on your straw deep in thought, refreshing taste of pineapple juice running down your throat, you decide to follow him back into the kitchen.  You could stand him losing interest, but him avoiding anything but basic pleasantries with you was too much for you to handle.

“Ah, hello there, dear!” he says when you enter the kitchen, refusing to meet your eyes and instead feigning interest in a recipe book on the counter.  “I was just about to check on Chopper and Luffy, did you need something?”

Another thinly veiled excuse.  He steals a glance at you, and tenses when he sees you’re not buying it.

“Sanji, you’ve been avoiding me.” you say, voice wavering.  You had intended it to come out far firmer, but your emotions were already getting the best of you before the conversation had even started.

He swallows hard, and turns to look at you.  The silence pounds in your ears at he carefully chooses his words.

“I think we should have this conversation somewhere more private.” he says, sending chills down your spine.  Unable to respond verbally, you nod and follow him to the aquarium bar, which was thankfully empty.  He closes and locks the door, and stands behind the bar across from you; the tabletop separating you felt wider than the ocean you were sailing on.  Despite him being the one to pull you away to talk, he finds it difficult to speak.

“So.  I’ve been avoiding you.” he says, cringing with guilt at vocalizing his intentions.  You remain silent, waiting to hear him out, and the pain in your stare breaks his heart.

“I’ve been avoiding you because I’m no good for you.” he says, staring downward and unable to bear your gaze any longer.  You still don’t speak, forcing him to keep spilling his heart out, an activity that had felt effortless before, and like knives on his tongue now.

“What kind of man leaves the woman he loves to marry someone else?” he asks, hands shaking.

“The kind that wants to protect his friends.” you say, gingerly reaching out to lay your palm on top of his.  He instinctively laces his fingers with yours, and the familiar touch pulls at his heartstrings.

“I did do it to protect you all, you know that, right dear?” he says, almost as if he was trying to convince himself that his betrayal was worth all of the pain it had caused.

“I know, Sanji.” you say, trying in vain to swallow the lump forming in your throat.  “And you were brave for doing it.”

“Not when I’ve hurt you like this—” he insists, tears pricking in his visible eye and grip on your hand tightening.

“Sanji, what’s hurting me is you avoiding me.” you say, interrupting him, and with a firmness to your voice that makes him twitch.  “What’s hurting me is you refusing to even talk to me and acting like everything we had was a dream and leaving me wondering if you ever truly cared about me at all.”  Even though it needed to be said, you immediately feel guilt for saying it as his head falls into his arm and chokes back sobs.

“Of course I care, darling,” he chokes out, “I’m trying to let you go because I care.  I don’t deserve you.  I didn’t deserve you then, and I don’t deserve you now.” he insists, words muffled by his sleeve.  You run your thumb across his hand in an attempt to comfort him, but it only seems to make him more distressed.  His reaction finally gets you to break, and now both of you were sobbing messes.

“Sanji, please don’t let me go.” you plead between gasps for air.  “I’m the one who doesn’t deserve you.  I should have come to you sooner to comfort you instead of letting you try to distance yourself from me.  I should have known better.”

Your gazes meet, red and watery from tears.  Desperately, you search his face for any sign of what his next words will be, but he stays as silent as you had been minutes before.  Just as he had done, you take a shaky breath and decide to continue.

“I love you, Sanji.  I love you with the constancy of the sun rising and the moon falling.  I love you unconditionally.  All I ask is that if you feel the same way, you stay by my side.”

Something changes in the glint of his eye as he’s suddenly stirred to life.  Normally he is the one for poetic, drawn out confessions of love, but you’ve rendered him speechless as he lets go of your hand and slides over the top of the bar—in any moment less dramatic than this you would have laughed—and stands in front of you, spinning you around in your stool to face him.

“I love you, dear.  On this day and every day, and all the days to come, I love you.” he whispers, softly caressing your face before leaning in to seal his confession with a kiss.  It starts out chaste, but quickly turns into something messy, emotional, and passionate.

“Do you have any idea how scared I was?  That I would never get to see your radiant face again and tell you how I felt?” he rasps.

“So was I, Sanji,” you whisper back,  “but I’m so glad I told you now.

#one piece x reader #x reader #sanji x reader #vinsmoke sanji x reader #black leg sanji x reader #one piece scenario #one piece fanfiction #poor little meow meow boy #at least he got a happy ending here hehe #crazy like the patsy cline song get it get it

[wandanatsbaby]

The Betrayal

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x reader Warnings: Angst? Not a good ending but there will be a second part

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You wanted to trust her. You really did. But everytime you looked at her all you saw and thought about was the betrayal.

It was the night of your 15th birthday. Pietro had always been faster then both of you so he went out to go gather some food while wanda did her best to clean up the old little apartment that some lady rent you all. You watched Wanda walk around and mutter to herself as she cleaned various things. You had offered to help her but she declined everytime saying “Its your birthday you need to rest.” 

When Pietro had gotten back he brought more food than you all needed. You questioned it but he brushed it off and you believed him not noticing the sad look the twins gave each other. The night was wonderful and you had the best birthday. Wanda your crush since you were little had even confessed and kissed you. You didnt think things could get any better. 

Later that night wanda dragged you to your shared room and you both made love to each other all night. She held you close and whispered how much she loved you into your ear while silent tears fell down her face.

The next morning when you woke up you were alone. You searched the whole house but couldn’t find the twins anywhere. And when you made it to the kitchen you found a single sticky note stuck to the fridge.

My Detka,

Im so sorry we did this. But me and Pietro had to leave. I am not allowed to tell you where due to reasons but just know were safe. 

We didn’t want to leave you but we had to. You don’t need to be brought into the life were going to be living. 

Last night was the best night of my life. I hope you know I meant it when I said I love you. 

Pietro made sure there was plenty of food in the fridge to last you about a week. And I arranged for someone to bring you food everyweek after. 

You’ll be okay. We are still looking after you. Just stay with the apartment. 

We’ll see each other again

Wanda

You spent the day sobbing as you immediately threw the sticky note away and packed your stuff. You didn’t want to be in this apartment anymore. You felt disgusting and used. 

Once all your stuff was packed you immediately left. You had connections that would help you get out of this city and hopefully this country. 

Thats how you ended up joining the avengers. Your connection had gotten you a flight to America more specifically New York. Natasha Romanoff was the one that had brought you in.

She had caught you attempting to steal from her and when she went to confront you, you punched her. You both spent about 20 minutes fighting each other.

You weren’t sure what she saw in you but she brought you back to the avengers tower and you had quickly found your new home.

The battle of Ultron was when you saw the twins again. They were working with him and had powers. You remembering first seeing Wanda. The way her face went from shocked to angry when seeing you with them.

You were the first one that she used her magic on. She had made you relieve not only the day they left you but the night before and the day the bombs hit. Steve had to carry you onto the quinjet and sat you next to Natasha who was also out of it. 

When the battle was over and Pietro being dead Wanda had joined the avengers team. You stayed away from her as much as possible. She tried talking to you multiple times but you always would just walk away.

You refused the dinners she would make, refused to train with her, and even refused to go on missions with her. 

Thats what lead you here to being trapped up against a corner with Wanda looking angrily down at you. You refused to meet her eyes and instead looked at you hands.

“Y/n look at me!” she yelled as her hand hit the wall beside your head causing you to flinch. Noticing this she took a deep breath to calm herself. “Detka please. I just want to talk.” 

Slowly you moved your head up to look at her. “You left. You and Pietro left me. You left me alone.” You stated quietly as you looked at her. She frowned but nodded.

“I know we did. But we had someone looking after you. Did you not get the food?” She asked worriedly trying not to imagine you starving in that small apartment.

“I left. I couldn’t stay there after you had… I couldnt.” You looked away again not wanting to look at the witch anymore. 

Slowly she brought her hand up to your face and rubbed your cheek.

“Lyubov Im so sorry we left you. We should have stayed. I should have stayed. I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you. But please stop pushing me away.” You look back up at her with tears in your eyes. 

“Please just leave me alone” You begged the girl as the tears ran down your cheeks. “I can’t look at you without remembering that or when you put those memories back into my head. I can’t sleep at night knowing that you were okay with doing that to me. So please. Just leave me alone.” You quickly pushed past her as she was distracted and ran off to your room. You hopped she would listen to you.

Wanda on the other hand was devastated. How could you tell her to leave you alone? She loved you and she wanted to be with you. She knew you loved her to and she was going to do everything in her power to have you back. You were made for each other. She saw it when she touched the scepter. She saw the life you would both live together. You were hers.

#wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x fem reader #wanda maximoff x female reader #wanda maximoff x y/n #wanda maximoff x you #wanda maximoff angst #mcu wanda #auo wanda #wandavision #marvel #marvel wanda #wanda imagine #wanda maximoff imagine #wanda maximoff oneshot #wanda maximoff fic #wanda x reader #wanda x fem reader #wanda x fem!reader #wanda x you #elizabeth olsen #lizzie olsen #wanda marvel #wadnda mcu #wanda mcu #avengers wadna #wanda avengers #marvel imagin #mcu #marvel cinematic universe

[starry-nights-garden]

Mingi ✧ 9:37pm

✧ Ateez Mingi x gn!reader ✧ words: ~1.2k ✧ genre: angst, comfort ✧ warnings: reader breaking down crying, mentions of reader considering hitting themselves

Desc.: Your boyfriend Mingi notices something’s off about you right away as you’re trying to keep it together so as not to break down crying in front of him. In the end the tears come out anyway, and he’s right there with you to comfort you.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m sure,” you answer coldly, feeling yourself getting annoyed at your boyfriend’s repeated question. You busy yourself with rummaging through your bag that you had put on the chair in your room - at this point you forgot what you were searching for in the first place, but you obsessively keep your hands busy with its contents anyway. Mingi falls silent, strangely silent, or maybe it’s your overall agitated state that causes you to tense up, because you desperately wish for him to just start a casual conversation with you about fuck knows what.

“I don’t think so…” you hear him mutter, and the sadness resounding in his voice has you gulping. You bite your lower lip because you know if you don’t, your own sadness will break out of you as well, and so eventually you decide it would be better to go find something else to do, solely for the purpose of moving into a position where instead of seeing the side of your face, he can’t see your face at all. You move to your wardrobe, opening it in an attempt to decide on your outfit for tomorrow in advance, but Mingi’s gaze that’s glued to your back won’t let you focus. “Y/N,” he calls out your name, speaking softly, and again you feel yourself coming close to the verge of breaking.

“What?” You manage to force out a single word, your voice cracking from the strain you’re putting on your whole body, and upon hearing his next words, you feel the anxiety spreading through your body like an explosion.

“Look at me,” he says. “Please.” Your legs trembling, you know you shouldn’t refuse. If you want him to believe you when you say you’re just fine, you should prove it to him by putting on a brave face, just like you had done all day. And so you turn around, and you think you end up glaring at him instead of the confident expression you had planned, but you can’t tell. It’s almost like the fear and the pain you’ve been holding in for days is making you numb to all other sensations you should be feeling in your body. 

Your boyfriend has made himself comfortable at the edge of your bed, upper body leaned slightly forward as he shoots you a worried expression. He knows. And still you stay stubborn. You’ve broken down every time you came home and were finally alone in your room at night for the past few days now, you don’t want to go through this again - especially not in front of him. You don’t want him to worry, you don’t want to burden him, and you will make damn sure he won’t. So why does it feel like he’s about to break down the walls you’ve built up around yourself with his bare hands?

“Y/N,” he says your name again, sweetly, and you currently hate him for it, because it’s not helping with your plans of keeping it together at all. “Come here.” And then he pats the empty space next to him, on top of your fluffy blanket, and you freeze up completely. You know that if you walk over there and sit down next to him it’ll be just like the past few nights - and yet, even just the thought of it makes you tear up. It’s like hearing his words has formed a crack in your facade, and with every breath you take and let out again, it’s only getting bigger. You can’t stop it anymore, and as you sink to the ground and the sobs violently make their way to the surface, you close your eyes and hide your face behind your hands in one last sorry attempt to not let him see what’s really going on inside.

“Baby…” you can hear him breathing out right beside you only moments later, his steady hands placed on your shoulders as he crouches down next to you.

“I’m s-sorry… I’m… s-so sorry…” you whimper as the tears stream down your face, guilt overwhelming you, but you just can’t make yourself stop crying. You form your hands into fists, considering whether punching yourself would make a difference and help you stop crying, but when you feel Mingi’s hands leaving your shoulders only to wrap around your wrists instead, the anger at yourself leaves you along with the strength in your limbs.

“It’s okay…” he mutters. “It’s okay.” He carefully adjusts your position until your back is leaning against the surface of your wardrobe door that he must’ve closed in advance, and when he leads you to lean your head against his shoulder you simply accept it. One arm wrapped around you, he pats your back gently and at a slow pace, and as you feel your heart beating in tune to his touches, you can finally somewhat relax.

“I didn’t want you to see me like this,” you say, having trouble keeping your voice steady, but he hears you.

“Why?” he turns his head, his lips brushing against your temple. 

“Because… I dunno…” you mutter, too tired to put all your complicated thoughts into a coherent sentence.

“You don’t have to,” he answers, extending his neck so he could place his chin atop your head now as he tightens his embrace around you. “Just know that I’m here if you need me… and that you don’t need to be strong when you’re with me.”

“But-” Mingi simply shushes you and shakes his head when you’re about to protest.

“I love you for who you are, not for all the strong faces you can put on.” Upon hearing his words, you tear up again, and you instinctively hide your face in his chest, reaching out to grab his shirt now as you cling to him. His hand patting your head for a while, he continues speaking eventually. “You know I’m not always good with words, but I just want you to know that you can be yourself with me, and I’ll accept all of that - the good sides and the bad sides. Okay?”

“Okay,” you mouth an answer. With his hands back on your shoulders, he brings some distance between you two so he could get a proper look at your face, and when he sees the state you’re in, he furrows his brows. You avoid looking directly at him, still embarrassed about your puffy eyes and the tear stains on your whole face. You sniffle at him, but as he wipes away the remainder of tears on your face you can’t help but melt into his touch. “I’ll protect you,” he says, and somehow the way he’s telling you such a cheesy line so seriously unexpectedly makes you laugh. “Why?” he now whines, and as you glance at his face you can see the offended expression on it and it just makes you giggle some more. Then you shake your head, giving him a weak smile and you say,

“Nothing… I just love you.”

“Well, if it made you smile that’s all that counts, right?” 

“Yeah…” you mumble, and as you see him still sulking over your reaction you lift your hand to ruffle your fingers through his hair, before bumping your head against his chest. “Thanks… for being there for me. I mean it.”

“Of course,” Mingi answers, welcoming you back into his arms, as he lets you simply rest in his embrace, for however long you need to. 

#ateez fluff #ateez comfort #ateez x reader #ateez x gn reader #ateez angst #mingi x reader #mingi fluff #mingi x gn reader #ateez scenarios #ateez imagines #ateez fic #ateez drabbles #mingi imagines #mingi drabbles #comfort #angst

[theyhavetakenovermylife]

hiii are you by chance writing a part 3 for anger?! you write so well for 2007 and it makes me so happy because no one write for them anymore 😭

BUT IF YOU ARE IM SUPER EXCITED FOR WHAT YOULL COME UP WITH and there’s just so much suspense… CLIFFHANGER😹💋

Anger: part 3 (18+) (Angst)

2007!Raphael x reader x 2007!Leonardo

Part 1 Part 2 / Leonardo's Ending Raphael’s Ending

-----------

A/N: Thank you so much!💚 I’m so happy that you like it💕 I’ve been wanting to make a part 3 for sooo long, but I’ve had no idea how to finish it. I’ve now decided to make two different endings; one for Raph and one for Leo, because I can’t choose one myself, so I don’t expect anybody else to be able to pick😂 Anyway, Raph and Leo’s endings will probably first be posted on the other side of Christmas.

------------

After the events on your roof, you, Raph and Leo are shaken. You need time to think, and Leo and Raph try to come to terms.

Warnings: Feelings of betrayal, feelings of guilt, emotions of sadness and regret, memories of sex. Spelling

------------

Raph ran as fast as he could, getting him as far as his feet could get him. He leaped across roofs, jumping over alleys, fighting the prickling feeling in his eyes. His mind was spinning, his thoughts in a chaotic mess as he remembered the look in Leo’s eyes, and fear upon your face. It hurt him to think of it. How angry he was. How he had wanted to hurt Leo. The words he had said to him. All of it came together and made his chest and stomach hurt. He felt nauseous and lightheaded. He had hurt Leo, his own brother. And he had hurt you, the girl he loved, the girl he had spent so much time dreaming about. He had fucked up.

Caught up in his running thoughts, Raph didn’t notice the bump on the roof, before stumbling his foot against it. He fell to the roof’s surface with a veil of agony, landing on his side, his arm slamming against the hard surface underneath him, causing a piercing pain to erupt through his elbow. The fall broke the barrier he had fought to keep up, finally letting a sob he had held back slip out. After the first came out, the rest came like water bursting through an open dam. Tears fell down his face as he slammed his fist against the roof, sadness and anger flowing through his every being, with no clear way to direct them at.

Ignoring the pain coursing through his foot and arm, Raphael stood up, before hurrying in the only direction he could think of. Home. Even with all the anger and confusion that stormed through his body, Raph just wanted to go home.

—

The silence Raph had left behind on the roof was heavy. Neither you nor Leo said a word, still shaken from the events that hand just transpired. Your legs shook as you sat down on the roof, your head in your hands as you took in a shaky breath. It was as if the world came crashing down on you. You did not know what to think, and you did not know what to believe. It was as if the world around you was shaking on its own, and you were just being thrown around, unable to stop it.

Leo sat up, breathless, unsure of what to do with himself. What to think… What to say… What to do… He felt heavy and cold, his body shivering and his head slightly spinning. But then he heard you, your rugged breath and the subs that were threatening in your throat. He felt a sudden need to comfort you, just like he had done before he left for South America. Hold you close against him while whispering sweet nothings into your ear. But he hesitated, unsure if you would welcome him if he did so. As much as he wanted to comfort you, he could not deny the small pain in his chest. He felt betrayed. But the sight of your tears softened him enough, to the point where he dared sit down beside you.

His throat knotted together when you looked up at him, tears down your cheeks as you sobbed. “I’m sorry, Leo. I thought you were gone”.

“You… you have nothing to be sorry about”, Leo managed to get out of his closing throat. His fists tightening and loosening in his lap, as he tried to calm his own breathing. Though Leo felt betrayed by you, he had to collect himself and remember, you knew nothing. He was the one that stopped writing to you and his own family. He was the one that left you all in the unknown, with no clue about his well being.

But yet, there was one thought that kept pushing its way forward to the front. The words Raph had yelled at him. They taunted him and did exactly as Raph had intended for them to do; make Leo question. Make him unsure about himself and his own abilities. It was a selfish thought, he knew that, but he just had to ask. He just had to know.

“Was- was he better than me?”, Leo asked, not being able to bring his eyes to yours. He tried to swallow the knot in his throat, but it just wouldn’t go away.

You hesitated, not sure what to say. Because in all honesty, you did not know. You did not know if Leo was better than Raph, or if Raph was any better then Leo. They were just so different. Two different personalities. Two different people. Each unique in their own way, they both had hurt you.

But was this really all it was about? Who fucked you the best? Which one of them made you cum and scream the most?

Although Leo never made you scream, he kept you close to the edge, feeling your legs shake as you got close to your high, only to retreat, enjoying your whimpering, before continuing whatever he had been doing. Fingering you while watching you intensely, or eating you out with the skilled tongue of his, before finally, after what felt like heavenly torture, he would fuck you with intens passion, watching your face and whisper sweet nothings while you came around him, pushing him to his own high.

And then there was Raph. Rough and hard, making you cum over and over again, telling you all sorts of dirty things that made you cling around him. Forcing your face down into the bed with your ass high up in the air, he would fuck you with intense speed and strength, making you scream in pleasure.

“I don’t know”, you said, avoiding your gaze when he finally looked at you. It took you a moment before you stood up, your legs shaking to give out under you. Leo hurried up, his hands out in an offering for you to hold onto them. But you stopped him with your hand held out in front of you. At that moment, still feeling overwhelmed, you did not wish to be touched, even if it was just Leo who wanted to help you stand. “I… I need to think”. Those were the last words before you turned, heading back to your fire escape, climbing back down to your apartment.

Leo stood back and watched as you left. It reminded him of that day he told you he had to go to South America. It had made you sad, although not like you were right now. You were honest and told him you didn’t like it, but you did not try to force him to stay. He should just have stayed. He should just have fucking stayed. Had he stayed, then this mess would never had happened to begin with.

Leo stayed on the roof, until he heard you shut your window close. That was his que to leave. Back then, after a long night of deep conversations, tender hands, building you before an earth shattering orgasm, Leo would not leave your fire escape before you closed the window. You in turn would not close your window, before Leo had left your fire escape. It was like couples on the phone with each other, refusing to hang up before the other.

Leo went home, his feet feeling heavy as he walked through the sewer. His head was hurting and this throat was still tightly knotted together. He just wanted to sleep for now, and get some time alone. He just wanted to get home and recharge. But when he walked into the lair, he was far from alone. Donatello and Michelangelo were in the living area, waiting for him to come. Mikey sat on the couch, the television blaring in the background, watching Donnie and Leo in concern. Donnie watched Leo walk in with a stern yet worried expression, his arms crossed as he walked to his oldest brother.

“What the shell is happening, Leo?”, he asked, brows frowning in concern. “Raph just came in with a limb and an injured arm, but he refuses to let me look at it, let alone even talk to me and Mikey! What happened out there?!”

Leo thought for a moment, his eyes locked on the closed door that led to Raphael’s room. “He didn’t tell you?”

“No! He just growled like he usually does and threatened to punch Mikey if he took a step closer!”

“It’s true!”, Mikey said, still seated on the couch. “And I wasn’t even near him!”

“I’ll talk to him tomorrow”, Leo sighed after another moment of thought. “A lot happened out there”.

“What happened?”, Donnie asked, following Leo as he started walking towards his own room. Mikey rose from the couch and followed his two older brothers. “Anything dangerous? Are you injured too? Did you see what happened to Raph?”

“No”, was all Leo said as he placed a hand on his door knob. “Don’t worry about it. It’s between me and Raph. I’ll talk to him tomorrow”. And with those words he slipped into his room, leaving Donnie and Mikey on the other side, sharing looks of confusion and concern.

—

Leo could not stand the smell in his own room. Once it had been so pleasant, with soft scents of you and him. But now it was violent, attacking his nose with you and Raph. He could almost see it in front of him. You and his brother, on his bed, doing it in ways Leo never had thought of doing it to you. It made him sad, tired, angry… It was too much for Leo at that moment. He therefore waited for his two youngest brothers to leave for bed, before he went to the living area, so he could use the couch as a bed for the night.

He covered himself with a blanket and stared at the pipes on the ceiling above. His thoughts went straight to you, just like they had done while the two of you were together. Just like they had done while he was in South America. God, why did he stop writing? He thought about you every night and every day, but he still decided to stop writing. Was it because he had been so sure that he had to stay in the jungle, to save those poor women and children, who’s lives would have been cut short if he didn’t? And staying in the jungle meant letting go of you? Yeah, that must have been why. His wish to be a hero had cost him the person he loved the most; you.

Leo turned onto his side, as he wondered what would have happened if he never had stopped writing. Would he had returned after a year, just like had promised you at first, or would you have waited out for him all two years? You probably would, and he would still have you. He would have you comfortably in his arms, and feel as you slowly drifted to sleep. Your beautiful face next to his, your eyes closed in a peaceful expression, feeling safe with him.

Leo continued to think of your face as he fell asleep. Your beautiful smile, your pretty eyes, and the way your nose would wrinkle whenever he teased you, or your blushing cheeks when he kissed you. How you would bite your lip while watching him train, or how your lips would be slightly agape whenever he would kiss your neck. The look of your face whenever you were close, or how your beautiful face would form when you came for him. Leo missed it. He missed you.

The next morning Leo was the first to wake up. Under normal circumstances, he would meditate and train before eating breakfast, but still feeling tired and drained from the night before, he went straight for breakfast. As the morning unfolded, he watched as his brothers woke up. He and Donnie greeted each other warmly, before Donnie went to clock in with his phone service job. Mikey woke up with a smile, before bringing a full bowl of cereal to the living area, where he ate them in front of the television. Master Splinter told all of his sons good morning, before he went to the dojo to meditate.

Leo watched and waited, until he was sure his family was fully distracted, before he went up the stairs to the second level of the lair, where he made his way to Raphael’s bedroom. Once Leo got to his door, he didn’t knock, nor did he try to walk in. Instead he waited with his back resting against the wall.

Raphael woke up in pain. His foot was still hurting and so was his elbow. He sat up and listened to the sound of his family outside in the living area. Raph did not wish to face them. He didn’t want to have Donnie bug him about his arm, and he didn’t want Mikey to come and try to do whatever he thought was helpful. Much less did he wish to talk to Master Splinter, and even less did he wish to talk to Leonardo. If he even was home. As far as Raphael knew, Leo could have spent the night at your place. After he ran, the two of you could have decided to get back together. Or, that was at least what Raph feared.

Raph went out of bed with a sigh, pain shooting through him the moment his foot touched the ground. He groaned as he started moving towards the door. His goal was to get to the kitchen and get something to eat. A quick grab and go before anyone noticed. Just like the ninja he was trained to be. No one would see him, no one would hear him.

Raph opened his bedroom door and slowly made his way out on the floor that overlooked the floor below.

“Donnie said you hurt your arm”.

Fuck.

Raph looked left of his door, where he found Leo standing. Leaning against the wall, waiting for him to come out. How long had he been there?

“Did I do that?”, Leo asked, his expression stoic, his gaze avoiding Raphael all together.

Raph tugged his arm closer to himself, feeling the pain once more. “None of your business”.

Leo didn’t say anything to that. He knew his brother, and that meant no.

Silence fell between them. None of them moved, none of them said a word, their eyes did not meet. The tension was thick, so thick that Raph could puncture it with his sai and Leo could cut it with his katana. They stood like that for what felt like an eternity, before Leonardo finally broke the silence.

“We have to let her choose”, Leo sighed frustrated, his knuckles tightening around the thin air. “No matter how much it might hurt, we have to respect her decision. It is her choice now”.

Raph tightened his jaw, felt the muscles in his arm tense before staring off into the distance. “You know I’ll still be angry if she chooses you”, he said, feeling the air build up on his chest as a knot formed in his throat.

“I know”, Leo said, still not looking at his brother. Raph felt that familiar feeling of irritation grow. The way Leo avoided his eyes, and the way he kept his breath calm as he spoke. That God damn big brother talk, that had gotten Raph so angry in the first place. “I don’t blame you. I would be angry too if she chose you”. He swallowed as his eyes fell to his feet. “I was angry when… when you told me. Almost blinded. For… for a moment I wanted to hurt you”. He finally looked Raph in the eyes, with an expression he had never seen on Leo’s face before. “Is that how you felt? Even before I left?”

Raph almost forgot how to breathe. His fingers began to feel numb, shaking slightly by the sudden shock. He would cross his arms to form a kind of barrier between him and his big brother. He felt his lip tremble slightly, bitting it on the inside of his mouth to keep it still.

“Yes”, was all Raphael said. It came out like a growl, frustration building further as he fought to keep his breath calm. A pressure formed from behind his eyes, threatening to make his eyes water. No! He would not cry! Especially not in front of Leo. But Leo’s next words almost broke him.

“I’m sorry”, he said with a deep sigh, voice trembling as he spoke, his eyes searching for Raphael’s. “I didn’t know”.

“No”, Raphael pushed out. “You didn’t”.

Silence fell upon them again. They heard Mikey laugh at something on the television, and Donnie telling him to keep it down. This time it was Raphael’s turn to break the silence.

“Did… did she say anything after I left?”

Leo sighed. “She said she needed to think. I don’t blame her. It was kind of a lot. She didn’t even want me to help her”.

Raph nodded and tried to swallow the knot that was building in his throat. “Then we should let her think”.

“Yes, we should do that”, Leo agreed. He pushed away from the wall and turned to his brother one last time before leaving. “Please let Donnie look at your arm. Him and Mikey are very worried. I almost had to run from them last night”.

Raph nodded. “I will”. This made Leo give him a small smile, before he turned to leave, but then Raph started to feel that burning feeling. He had to say something. “Hey, Leo?” The blue clad turtle turned to look at his brother, one brow muscle raised. “Welcome home”.

Leo smiled once more, this time a little bigger. “Thank you”.

#tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt donatello #tmnt leonardo #tmnt raphael #tmnt michelangelo #tmnt raph #tmnt donnie #tmnt mikey #tmnt leo #tmnt x reader smut #tmnt x reader #tmnt x y/n #tmnt x you #tmnt smut #tmnt 2007 #tmnt 2007 x reader #tmnt 2007 x reader smut #tmnt 2k7 #tmnt 2k7 x reader #tmnt 2k7 x reader smut #tmnt 2007 raphael #tmnt 2007 donnie #tmnt 2007 raph #tmnt 2007 leonardo #tmnt 2007 leo #tmnt 2007 donatello #tmnt 2007 mikey #tmnt 2007 michelangelo #2007 tmnt

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Alan & Jeff Forever!

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Jan 2024 Wk 4

Ongoing Series - Thai

The Sign (Sat YT) ep 10 of 12 - I am a little concerned that this is getting too big for its britches, rather like Phaya’s recently recovered snake… shall we say? Adding in yet another character at this juncture isn’t the best idea. Still, I love how this show makes me cackle laugh with grandmas + Yai and then TENSION.

It’s a wobbly kind of balance but a balancing act is happening nonetheless. It makes the pacing of this show good. It may be all over the place but I'm never bored.

Pit Babe (Fri iQIYI) ep 11 of 14 - No trash talk this week, I was charmed & delighted. Who knew I would actually enjoy this show? Certainly not me. (not much of a...) Trash watch happening here.

Cooking Crush (Sun YT) ep 8 of 12 - I am pretty much skipping most of the 3 chef friends, and all of the side dish action (sorry Neo). And with OffGun apart for most of this ep, it didn’t hold together since they are the glue. Sigh.

Last Twilight (Fri YT) ep 12fin - Okay let’s talk about it.

Mhok should have gone off with someone else. Day treated him like shit and never once apologized. To assume an apology isn’t necessary is to pity Day in the exact way he didn’t want. (On a complete aside, one of my favorite Thai restaurants back in my mispent youth was in Hilo, HI… ah memories) meanwhile the "passing escalators trope" activated in the land of malls (it’s been a while my old friend).

Anygay, I hold that Mohk was not a fault and Day was the one who needed to apologize.

Although they did have one of BL's BEST ever face touch moments. 

In conclusion: 

The story of a blind man and his caregiver falling in love. Mark is great. JimmySea are spectacular. The support cast is GMMTV-good. And for the first 3/4 this BL was something rather special. But it was let down by its ending (for which I entirely blame the author). In order to like this show you must buy into the premise that Mhok was in the wrong and caused their breakup. If you don’t believe that, you won’t like this BL. Also "fixing a disability = true happiness" is gross messaging. For me, endings counts for a lot and this one was ultimately “happy” but felt like a failure. 7/10 and I was sorely tempted to go as low as a 6/10, so it should count itself lucky 

I dithered my darling BLabies... I dithered A LOT over this one. But JimmySea alone held this one up.

GMMTV we gotta talk. You're fielding some of the world's best pairs right now. It's time to get them equally good scripts.

For Him (Thurs iQIYI) ep 9 of 12 - This installment had too much of the side couple in it. Although it was nice to see First/Dream (Twins) again. He's still a cutie, even playing a straight. 

My Universe (Sun iQIYI) ep 23 of 24 - I have to say I’m very glad we are on the last installment of the series. Narcissistic hairdresser starts seeing a spirit in a mirror. Turns out to be a friend from his youth who he thought was dead. This one is kinda sweet, and I find the premise interesting. Is the kid actually dead and a spirit? Or is there something else going on? I am intrigued. And I like the actor playing the kid in the mirror. I suspect this will be sad tho.

Time the series (Thai Gaga) ep 3 of 10 - I don’t exactly know what is going on. And frankly I don’t particularly care, either. So far nothing seems to be happening, and I really intensely dislike one half of the main couple. DNF welcome 2024 here we go 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Love For Love's Sake (Korea Weds iQIYI) 1-2 of 8 - based on the Manhwa Love Supremacy Zone by Hwacha (they should have kept the original title). I adore the premise. IRL person has been sent into fictional universe to save a side character from doom. Fantastic. Every fanfic author's dream. Also, I love that our POV was the bad boy in high school so there’s also a redemption arc going on. I adore this kind of isekai (if you wanna call it that). Puppy/cat pairing too! 

Although I Love You and You AKA Sukiyanen Kedo Do Yaro ka (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 3 of 10 - Oh my goodness they too cute. Basically dating. Although only one of them realizes it, and he is such a drama queen. It’s GREAT. Also they are both so damn gay. I love the supportive bestie trying to cope with the girl who has a crush on his gay bff. 

Happy Ending (Korea Tues YT) 1 of 3 - Strongberry is back and it’s very them and very atmospheric and cute. I’m enjoying it. 

Sahara-sensei to Toki-kun (Japan Fri Gaga) ep 7 of 8 - Japan giveth and Japan taketh away again. Look, I just like the lost love teacher/teacher couple better. I'm assuming they'll have to do a time jump in the final episode to make this one work at all. 

I am SO GLAD we have KBLs back on our screens.

It's done

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) 10 eps - will binge when I have any spare time. 2024 is crazy busy for me so far.

The Servant and the Young Master - from Vietnam so I assume it's on YouTube. I never even noticed. Anyone?

Began Beginning (Myanmar YouTube) - Is TRUST Entertainment bringing us the first ever Burmese BL? I don't know if it's really the first, but @heretherebedork vouched for it, so I will give it a watch through.

Beside You (Thai ????) - a 3 ep short that's supposed to have aired but I can't find it.

It's Airing But...

[NO INTERNATIONAL] Cherry Magic (Sat YouTube) ep 3 of 12 - yeah Japan put the smack down on our boys. Sadness. You can use a VPN if you like. Read all about it here.

Ossans Love Season 2 (Japan Gaga) - 5 years later, will anything have changed? This is Japan so… probubly not. I won't be watching this. I disliked Season one and actively hated the follow ups. No thank you.

Playboyy (Thurs Gaga) 14 eps - Dear Playboyy, it's not you, it’s me… I hate you. You’re about as deep (and as palatable) as a shot glass of cum. While I'm sure you’re someone’s kink, you're my weakest link. Goodbye. I DNFed this at ep 5. Frankly I'm impressed with myself for getting that far.

The Whisperer (Sun ????) 10 eps - Ends next week. Thai horror BL that ALSO involves cheating (what joy is mine). I don't think even the perfect single dimple can motivate me to watch. Word is... it's terrible.

7 Days Before Valentine (Weds WeTV) 10 eps - Giving me Luminous Solution vibes. I'm waiting to binge if safe.

Dead Friend Forever (Thai Sat iQIYI) - horror, meh, tell me if it's worth my time?

In Case You Missed it

All my year-end round ups:

TOP 10 BL Trends of 2023

Top 10 BL Secondary Pairs of 2023

2023 BLs Best Trope Execution Awards! TOP 10

All the BLs Announced for 2023 that didn't happen

BL 2023's Best:

Back Hugs Thailand & Elsewhere

Cute Bits of Domesticity

Boys Feeding Boys

BOOP!

Best Cuddles

Heads in Laps

Touching Head Touches

Thailand Put His Head on Your Shoulder

Put Your Head on My Shoulder (not Thailand)

BEST KISSES (not Thailand)

BEST KISSES FROM THAILAND

Next Week Looks Like This:

2/2 City of Stars AKA Fueangnakorn (Fri YouTube?) 10 eps - An actor falls in love with a programmer and the narrative intends to “explore the ramifications of being public figure in the social network era who must endure critics, bullying, and defamation.” Looks like another Lovely Writer/Call It What You Want sort of thing. But helmed by Star Hunter? Chaos will ensue.

2/2 Anti Reset AKA Anti-Reset (Taiwan Fri Gaga?) 10 eps - from Vidol (who aren't doing us very proud right now) - Human and robot find love.

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Say what you like about this show (and I have) they do some very gay cuddling. (Him the series)

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH.

This show, damnit, so close to being genius. (Last Twilight)

I don't that's a hardshi,p grandma ... although it may be a hard ship... get it.

I'll stop now.

(The Sign)

(Last week)

#pit babe the series #pit babe #AlanJeff #the sign #the sign the series #the sign is the best #last twilight failed us #cooking crush #offgun #last twilight series review #last twilight #jimmysea #him the series #thai bl #this week in bl #bl updates #Love For Love's Sake #korean bl #although i love you and you #Sukiyanen Kedo Do Yaro ka #japanese bl #Sahara-sensei to Toki-kun #happy ending the series #Love Supremacy Zone #isekai #isekai BL #isekai yaoi

[lizziesblueberries]

Now she has your heart

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 4,428

Warnings: Mommy Kink, Mommy!Wanda, Bottom!Reader, dark!wanda, possessive Wanda, soft Wanda, Wanda magic g!p, it’s fake though, breeding kink, yandere Wanda?, magic tattoos, slight hurt/comfort, smut, Wanda Maximoff needs a hug, so I gave her one, praise, multiverse of madness spoilers, minors DNI, 18+

Summary: a continuation of She’s in Your Mind I would recommend reading that first, but you don’t have too. It starts after Wanda sacrifices herself. Though we don’t really talk about that. You wake up in an unknown location with Wanda, and she needs you now more than ever.

You slowly woke to soft fingers gently combing through your hair, digits caressing the outline of your face, dragging along your lips. You didn’t open your eyes, still drowsy from sleep, and the soft touches were soothing, you felt safe and warm. You were content to just lay like that, and you did, for a few minutes, until an amused raspy voice spoke to you, snapping you out of your daze and alerting you to the fact that you were not alone.

“Hello Little one, I know you’re awake.”

You slowly opened your eyes to the figure of the Scarlet- no, of Wanda sitting to the side of you, looking down at you and softly smiling. You were in a bed, you noticed, in a room you didn’t recognize, and with a witch who appeared to have changed quite a bit in the last time you saw her. Which you weren’t sure when that was, but the events started to come back to you regardless. The temple- Kamar Taj, Wanda invading the temple, Wanda invading you. Her successfully taking over your mind and making you give in, and letting go of your magic. The people at the temple must be dead now, and you didn’t even try that hard to resist her, to help them. You felt slightly upset at Wanda for choosing you, of all people, she choose your mind to attack, but mostly, you felt upset at yourself. Upset at how weak you were and how easily you let her take control of you, you’d never let anyone come that close, and you let the supposed enemy at that time, be the one to take you. At your thoughts, You noticed Impossibly pink lips pout at you.

“Aww, don’t be upset detka. No one would have been able to resist my magic, and from what I saw in your mind, you certainly wouldn’t have been able to resist me.” You were going to nod your head no and deny what she said, but Wanda was already reading your thoughts and stopped you. “Yes, you know its true, you may want to be in denial, but I know you more than you know about yourself. And that’s ok, that’s why I’m here. You let me in, all the way, and I’m not going to take that for granted. You saw something in me, just as I saw in you. We’re meant for each other.”

Wanda had so much love and resolve in her eyes while she said this, making you want to believe her and not argue. There was so much passion in the way she was looking at you, it was bordering on unhinged and possessive. You also noticed she looked a little sad, her crown and armor was removed, and in its place was a soft blue sweater and grey leggings, along with red curls softly falling down her head. You wondered what had happened to make her look so sad, and why she was here and not with her kids, which you assumed she had found, considering how powerful and determined she was to get them.

“I found them.” She whispered. And you seriously needed to get used to her reading your mind. She continued, “But I became something they were afraid of, I had them, right there in front of me. And instead of getting to hold them and tell them how much I loved them, and them love me back, they screamed in fear and ran away from me. As if I was going to hurt my boys. I would never hurt them, but I hurt others, and I wish I could bring myself to regret the pain that I caused, to feel guilt over the lives I took, but I don’t. I was doing it for a good reason, for my happiness and to love and have my boys back. My boys don’t deserve that though, to have so much pain be the cause of me having them back, to have that suffering behind their names. They deserve happy, simple, and peaceful lives, so I left, even though it kills me, I wont go after them again.”

She had tears quietly running down her cheeks while saying this, immense pain was shown on her face, and the depths that you saw in her eyes had you taking her in your arms without a second thought. You were stunned when you did this, stunned from her confession, shocked that so much had happened and you had just woken up. But mostly you couldn’t deny the strong feelings that overtook you for this women. She was in pain, grieving for the loss of her family, struggling to cope with the never ending events of trauma that has been continuously happening in her life. And like Wanda, you couldn’t find it in yourself to care about the others, about the pain she caused, or feel guilty for letting her attack Kamar Taj and taking you with her. Wanda was the most beautiful person you had ever seen, with all the love in the multiverse to give. And you weren’t going to let that go to waste, or let her suffer alone anymore. The way she was curled into you, seeming so much smaller than you remembered, her face pressed into the crook of your neck, hands holding tightly to your waist, and what felt like shaky breaths coming out of her, only solidified that. Wanda pulled away then, still with her arms around you, she looked at you, her tears had stopped and now she had a surprised expression on her face.

“Do you really feel that way?” She asked cautiously. You nodded yes. At this point, you were fine with her reading your mind now, especially if your thoughts brought about the look of amazement and wonder in her eyes. Her hands were holding your waist now, and she rubbed her thumbs back and forth on your hips without her realizing. “I knew you were perfect for me. From the moment I saw you, I knew you were going to be my sweet girl. And when I read your mind, it only confirmed that I was right. My sweet, pretty, baby girl, I am so glad I found you.” Her hands took a hold of yours, and brought them to her lips, she placed gentle kisses against your knuckles and looked at you with so much joy, you shivered. You were a little surprised with her words, but even more so, happy. You shouldn’t feel so content with how she basically took you, or how in most relationships, this behavior was very concerning, but like your guilt, that concern couldn’t be found, only, reciprocation.

“I’m glad too.” You spoke softly. And that only seemed to heighten her joy. She was practically beaming like the sun at you, and while you had thought she was the most stunning women in the world, when she scrunched her nose a little, letting out a giggle, she was now the most adorable.

“I’ll give you anything your heart desires; all I want is for you to stay with me forever. I’ll do anything for you, anything. Just be mine.” The look in her eyes swiftly changed to unhinged desperation, which was odd, cause you were pretty sure you had just confirmed your feelings to her, and after that little speech, you were in no way going to deny her, you were also pretty sure you couldn’t even if you wanted to. But her eyes said another story, and you guess you couldn’t blame her considering how much she had lost. So you placed your hand on her cheek, and brought your lips together. The sigh she let out when your lips touched, was all worth the bold move, and you knew you had alleviated her doubts.

“You’re all I have.” She said as she gently pushed you down onto the bed. She then mounted your waist and leaned down to kiss you more forcefully, her tongue skillfully slid in and took home in your mouth. Once she was satisfied she had explored every inch of your mouth, she moved her lips down to your throat, hands heavily moving up your body slowly. “And you’re all I need.” She growled, and sank her teeth into your neck. And fuck. If that wasn’t one of hottest things to happen to you. You let out a moan, and moved your head to the side to give her more access. Your hands moved to hold her arms, squeezing them, because damn, she was toned. God you just wanted her to devour you right there, however she wanted. Soft hands took a hold of yours, connecting your hands together and moving them above your head, holding you there.

“Is that what you want babygirl? You want Mommy to take over and devour you? To have you any way I want?” She said with a red tint in her eyes. You nodded your head again, and a hand swiftly grabbed your hair and pulled your head back, scarlet wisps held your hands above you as her other hand closed around your throat. She growled again, “Has my pretty girl already forgotten her manners? What did I tell you to do last time, when I ask you a question?” You whimpered from how tight she was holding you in place, she was looking at you with blown pupils, an expectant look on her face, and you didn’t want to disappoint her, so you tried your best to remember what she told you. A brief recollection of her claiming you and making you speak to her flashed in your mind. Her telling you that good girls get a treat when they answer her.

“Y-yes I want you to take me. Please Mommy you make me feel so good, I just want to be yours.” Wanda groans at your words, head dropping down a little as she moves her hips against you.

“Such a good girl.” You hear her mutter, almost to herself. Her hands move to the hem of your shirt, which you’re now realizing is probably one of her’s that she changed you into, and slowly starts to pull it up. Kisses are placed against your stomach as she goes, her eyes locked on your face as she slides her tongue up your stomach and stops at your chest. She takes the shirt off you, and you realize that you had nothing else on under that. You blush, trying to move your hands to cover yourself, but her magic holds you still.

“Oh? Is my little one shy? You don’t need to be, Mommy loves everything about you. You’re a beautiful work of art, and no one should get to even look at you except for me.” She attaches her lips to one of your breasts after her assurances. All you can do is whimper and delight in how good she makes you feel, her tongue licking a long stripe across your breast before taking your nipple into her mouth. She’s so hot, her mouth, her words, her voice, her body that lays fully on you. You arch your back into her and she hums, the vibrations going into your chest, making you feel oddly safe and content, but it also sends a pulse of heat straight to your core. You’re obviously soaking at this point, and it’s beginning to get uncomfortable with how much your aching.

Wanda, sensing this, starts to move her mouth back down your body, swirling her tongue at every dip and curve, leaving a trail of spit behind. Your chest is moving rapidly the closer she gets to your core, and she watches with greedy eyes how you react to her. She’s finally right above your dripping pussy, and you cant your hips up, needing to feel her on you. But she pulls back, and moves her hands to hold your hips down, smirking knowingly at your desperation.

“There’s my needy girl.” She says proudly. And you groan at her, either at her words, or as a confirmation, that yes, you are indeed needy, and you need her now. She then proceeds to put you into shock, when her mouth suddenly envelopes your entire pussy. White, hot, pleasure bursts through you, her mouth covering your clit and her tongue sticking out to cover your hole. She groans at finally tasting you, eyes snapping open in hunger, almost in shock herself with how much she loves your flavor. You watch as the green in her eyes nearly disappears as her pupils grow into black holes, she’s not even really looking at you, too lost in her hunger to focus on anything else, but lapping up more of your arousal. You almost cum just from the sight alone of how starved she looks, desperate to take in more of you. She has her hands wrapped around your thighs in a vice like grip, afraid you’ll move out of her reach, which will not likely fucking happen.

Wanda starts to then move her head slightly from side to side, hardening her tongue a little to create better friction against you, she does this quickly, damn near making you lose your mind, because what the hell, she’s aggressively and unashamedly slurping your essence up. And you would’ve blushed if you could at the wet sloshing noises she was making, but at the moment, you were uncontrollably moaning- no screaming at how good she was eating you out. You were reaching your release way too soon, but you couldn’t properly get your brain to work to warn her.

You didn’t need to worry though, Wanda watched as you threw your head against the pillows, back coming off the bed as you squeezed your eyes shut, she watched with scarlet eyes, as you grew closer to coming for her. When you were finally at your breaking point, Wanda spoke to you inside your head, too greedy for your taste to take her mouth off you for even a second.

“Cum now my little slut, you’re doing so well, give me more of you. You taste so good, cum right in my mouth, that’s it, give mommy all your cum.” With Wanda giving you permission, and the words she spoke only heightening your pleasure, you finally hit your peak. Your mouth fell open, but no sound came out as all your energy went into bracing yourself against the orgasmic waves of pleasure that hit you. Wanda sucked hard against your clit, and then hummed, low and loud against you, satisfied in your release filling her mouth as she drank all of you. She continued to lap you up, as you came down from literally heaven. You noticed her magic releasing you, and you brought your hands to her head, you lightly pushed her away from your over sensitive core, and she reluctantly pulled away, not without giving your clit a quick kiss goodbye though. You both looked at each other, taking the other in, you- with mussed hair, flushed cheeks, and chest still heaving a little from the air you lost earlier. And Wanda, with her smug grin, with your arousal covering her entire bottom of her face as she wore it proudly. She licked her lips and moved up to your mouth, and kissed you. You moaned at the taste of you both combined, and she smiled against your lips, biting your bottom lip as she pulled away again.

“You were amazing and so delicious to taste my love. I hope your ready for more, because I have plans for my sweet little pussy.” She waved her hand, and you watched her eyes flash red, then she moved her fingers hypnotically, you watched the long digits move, really loving the way they looked. Then she looked down, and held a proud smirk on her face. Curious as to what she was so happy about, you looked down as well, and boy did you see how happy she was, or in this case the new member suddenly appearing at her waist was happy. Oh and she was finally naked. You’re eyes widened, you didn’t know where to start, her body was magnificent, soft and toned and smooth, her breasts rested right in front of your face, begging to be worshipped, and you also wanted to worship her other body part, well, all of her body parts to be honest.

“Do you like it? It’s a spell I learned from reading the Darkhold, its not a real cock, but I can feel it, and more importantly so can you. Mommy is going to fill you up, nice and full, and your going to take all of me. I’ve been wanting to use this on you ever since I read about it, and now you’re finally mine to completely have and use however I want.” You swallowed hard, it was a bright red color, matching her magic almost, which was fitting, and it was bigger than anything you’d ever taken. You looked back up at her, slight panic in your eyes, and she softened the look she was giving you. She moved her hand to your face and lightly caressed your cheek. “Don’t worry my sweet girl, mommy knows what she’s doing, trust me, I’ll make you feel so good, all you need to do is lay there and be my good girl. You want that right? To be my good girl and trust me?” The soft and devoted look in her eyes removed all hesitation from your mind and you nodded. “Such a good girl for me. God I love how desperate you are to please me.”

And with that she moved her hips to rest against yours, she moved her hand down to position the tip of the fake cock against your entrance and you felt her part your folds. She rubbed the tip against your pussy and you both moaned at the feeling, her cock was surprisingly warm, almost vibrating with her magic, and you were once again dripping for her. With one hand still holding her cock against you, she leaned down over you, placing her other hand beside your head to hold herself up.

“Look at me.”She whispered, bringing her face right above yours, striking emerald eyes held all your attention. Her eyes remained focused on your face as she moved her hips into yours slowly. You felt her spread you apart, and she was sinking into you inch by inch, slowly, watching as you winced and gasped from her stretching you so thoroughly. While it was a little painful at first, you kept your eyes locked with hers, she was splitting you apart and yet you felt completely safe and warm in the way she looked at you, taking you in like an addict would a drug. And you weren’t the only one reacting, she bit her lip as she pulled out, groaning when she moved back inside you, you could tell she was holding so much back, but that just made her all the more sexy to you. She was still caring for your needs and how you felt and it made you all the more turned on. Finally, adjusting to her length and wanting to make her feel good, you moved your legs and wrapped them around her waist, pulling her into you all the way and locking your legs. She gasped at this, fully inside you know, her eyes rolled to the back of her head, and her hand gripped your waist with a bruising force to keep you were you were. You moaned at how full you felt, and how beautiful she looked in a blissful state. Interesting enough, as you both remained unmoving, you felt her pulsing inside you, and you knew it was her magic becoming excited. Your mind completely stopped working after that, and you couldn’t take it anymore. You whined, high pitched and needy, pulling her closer, her eyes snapped open, and she looked down at you.

“Fuck me.” You said while panting. “Fuck me mommy, I want you to destroy me, completely ruin this pussy for no one else. I want you so bad, just fill me up until I can’t take anymore, please mommy.” It was like a switched flipped, soft eyes turned feral and dark, her body tensed and she quickly moved her hands to grip your waist. She pulled her hips back and began to roughly pound into you, your body moved against the sheets with such force that the bed hit the wall. Your legs lost their hold around her waist from her movements and fell to the sides, so she grabbed your legs and pushed them into your chest. You moaned as you felt her go even deeper, and she grunted from how hard she was pounding into you.

“Fuck baby, is this what you want? Mommy pounding this pussy, ruining you for anyone else? You can never be anyone else’s, your mine, you belong to me and me alone. Gonna fill this pretty little pussy until your full of me. Would you like that? Mommy filling you up to the brim with her cum, maybe I’ll do just that, get you pregnant and breed you like the little bitch you are. Then you won’t ever leave me, even if you wanted to. I fill you up over and over again till this house is full of our children, and then some.” Wanda spoke with such a deep voice, nearly growling out her words. You were delirious, you weren’t sure if she was serious about getting you pregnant, but you were so consumed with pleasure, by her words, and possessiveness, that you didn’t really care. She was moving inside you at an alarming speed, and then she grabbed you by the throat, using her hold on you as leverage to move harder into you, cutting off a bit of your breathing, and that felt even better.

Your hands were on her back, pushing her closer to you, scratching red lines down her back that had you proud for finally marking her. She moaned at the pain and thoughts you had of claiming her, and moved her face into the crook of your neck, sucking on it harshly to leave her own mark on you. You both were getting closer, she could feel you squeezing her cock tightly, gripping around her like a wet glove, all you could hear was your slapping bodies, and sloshing noises you both made. She pressed herself fully against you, needing to feel more of you, your breasts connecting to rub against each other, her arms wrapped around you, holding you closer to her. You noticed her hips moving erratically, getting sloppier with her rhythm against you, she was getting close to her release as well.

What you didn’t notice though, was the wisps of scarlet leaving Wanda, coming from her chest and heading towards yours, right to your heart. As you both moved against each other, feeling absolutely euphoric and in love, you both reached your release. Wanda came inside you, hot spurts of cum filling you completely, moaning your name and whispering praises into your ear. You came with her, your pussy clenched hard around her, increasing both your pleasure as she pulsed inside you, she felt even warmer inside you. And as you both held one another, her magic worked its way around your heart, wrapping it in a protective hold, just like how she was holding you now, and solidifying her claim over you, leaving behind a red tattoo in the symbol of her crown over your heart.

You both eventually calmed down, Wanda’s magic disappeared and you whimpered from the sudden emptiness. Wanda shushed you, moving her head back a little to kiss your lips softly. She then waved her hand and used her magic to clean you both up. She moved you both so that she was now under you and you laid your head against her chest, she once again wrapped her arms around you, and pulled you closer, practically purring with you being content and safe within her arms. You noticed something different though, about yourself. You felt a warmth on your chest, and their was a new feeling inside you, in your heart. You looked down and gasped at the red crown over your heart.

“Wanda what is this?” Oddly enough, you weren’t asking out of concern, it was more out of curiosity. Wanda looked down at you and to where you were pointing and hummed, her lips tilted up into an appreciative and proud smile.

“Oh, that? It’s nothing to worry about. Think of it as a sign of my love. And know that because of this, I can always protect you. Now go to sleep my lovely girl, you did a lot today and mommy is so proud for how well you behaved. I love you so much, Mommy will be right here when you wake up.” You listened to her words, knowing she would never hurt you, and would always keep you safe. Wanda felt like home as you pressed further into her chest, and you were perfectly happy with being hers forever.

Wanda watched you fall to sleep, smiling at how adorable and sweet you were. She moved her hand down to the glowing crown over your heart and traced it lightly with her finger, her smile turned unhinged as she watched it pulse along with your heart. What Wanda didn’t tell you, was that you were now connected to her, a spell in the Darkhold allowing her to bind your hearts together, and forever keep you as hers. She would be able to know where you were at all times, sense if you were ever in danger, and most importantly it would keep you immortal, allowing her to love and be with you till the end of time. Of course there were a few other things that the tattoo did; like make your love for her remain permanent, and you would be more susceptible to her commands, and, Wanda’s favorite part, she would always be on your mind, you would never not think about her, even if you tried. Just like how she always thought of you. Besides, what else would you need to think about other than just being her good girl. But you didn’t really need to know any of that. She pressed her nose into your hair, relaxing further into you at your smell, and whispered, “ You’re mine, all mine.”

Part 3

@cthulhus-curse @inluvwithfictionalwomen @chelleztjs18 @heartsforlee @mjlfluvr

#wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff x female reader #yandere wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff smut #mommy! wanda maximoff #wandavision #wanda smut #wanda x reader #wanda fanfic #wanda marvel #multiverse of madness #dark!wanda maximoff

[jamespotterismydaddy]

Lord Husband (Chapter 5)

cregan x reader

word count: 1,606 words

series masterlist

A private carriage. You thank the gods for small victories. Being locked in a small box for a month with nobody but Cregan Stark for company would’ve been the thing that pushed you over the edge of insanity. Or, you likely would have killed him.

Perhaps it was more his safety they are concerned over rather than my comfort. You think to yourself.

The preparations for your departure have been immensely extravagant and your mother has already commissioned ten new dresses and five nightgowns just to tie you over until the royal family flies in for the wedding. You’ll spend another whole month courting Cregan (in Winterfell this time) before the ceremony and you don’t know if you want the spectacle to be drawn out more to prolong your unmarried freedom or if you just want it to be over with.

You ignore the thoughts as you make your way down to the courtyard with Baela and Rhaena on each arm and Ser Robert trailing after you.

“I’m going to miss you awfully.” Rhaena says sentimentally. 

“You’ll have to write to me with every bit of court gossip. Gods know that the boys won’t do a very good job at keeping me filled in.” You roll your eyes dramatically, trying to keep it all lighthearted.

“You’ll write to us plenty as well, tell us all about the joys of marriage.” Baela says with a little smirk.

“I hardly believe there’ll be many joys to rave about.” You say with a scoff.

“I wouldn’t be so sure. From what i’ve heard, northern men are very good with… their tongues.” The elder twin says scandalously. You think you hear Ser Robert choke on water from behind you.

“Baela!” Rhaena scolds but she giggles too.

“I don’t want his tongue anywhere near me.” You say as you shoot her a glare.

“Then you are as dumb as you are pretty.” You roll your eyes at this.

“His assumed skills don’t matter if I do not like him.” You say primly.

“You don’t have to like him to appreciate the look of him.” Baela says as she lifts a hand to inspect her nails.

“I agree. You know what they say about men with large hands…” Rhaena trails off and you glare at her as well.

“Do not team up against me.” You say.

“We are only trying to help you to look on the bright side. You’ll be with him for the rest of your lives.” Rhaena says softly. It’s a thought that you don’t really want to think about.

“Perhaps after I give him a son, we will become estranged and he will allow me to retire to Dragonstone.” You reply wistfully. The twins exchange a look.

“And what of your son?” 

You sigh and say, “Any child I have will be his, not mine.”

“But they will also be Valyrians. They could be dragonriders. They will need a Valyrian to teach them.” Baela says. The idea of a child with a dragon, not knowing its history, not knowing how to care for it, is a sad thought.

“Motherhood is as noble a path as any.” Rhaena says, in an attempt to make you feel better.

“Not if it’s forced.”

There is an awkward silence after that and you feel bad, being the one who caused it. Your closest friends, your sisters, they only wanted to comfort you, to make you excited about the journey and you’ve made them feel bad for trying.

“I do quite like some of the dresses her Grace commissioned for me, though.” You say with a little grin and both of the girls light up.

“Oh yes, they’re all so beautiful. I don't know if I could even pick a favourite.” Rhaena gushes.

“I can.” Baela says. “The deep maroon velvet one. Ugh, the sleeves on it are to die for. It’s far too hot to be wearing such fashion in King’s Landing. We’d be sweltering.” Baela pouts a little at that but then grins. “You’ll be the icon of the North when it comes to gowns.”

“I intend to be the icon of the North when it comes to everything.” You say with a faux level of superiority as you come around to the stairs that go down to the courtyard.

There are many nobles waiting to see you off and Cregan Stark stands right at the front, waiting for you and looking as disgustingly handsome as ever. You ignore him and make your way to the ladies who won’t be accompanying you first, hugging them and trying not to tear up. You hope Cregan is offended by how you brush by him. Then, you reach your siblings. Your goodbyes to your family are short and proper, you’ll see them at the wedding anyhow. Your goodbye with your mother is… tense if nothing else. 

You turn to Cregan at this point, knowing that you need to have a public interaction before you get into your carriage. Even if you enjoy being the centre of attention, you don’t want to waste the creation of gossip if you’re not there to see how it all goes down.

Lord Stark bows deeply. “Princess, I am glad to be accompanying you to your new home.”

“I thank you for your protection on the long trip that lies ahead of us.” You say in response, your voice cordial and dripping with charisma. 

“It is my honour.” He holds out a hand and you take it, allowing him to help you up the steps, into the carriage. Your two handmaidens follow after you. When the door shuts, you sigh, ready for the long trip to be over already.

~~~

As the trip properly starts, you begin to remember how much you hate carriage rides. Short ones are usually fine but you’ve been sitting in the wheeled contraption for hours now and it's making you awfully dizzy.

“Your Grace? Are you well?” Rose, your handmaiden, speaks up. She looks concerned for your state.

“I am fine. I perhaps just need to rest for a moment.” You say, a bit breathlessly, as you shift to lay down, resting your head in your other handmaiden’s lap.

“Are you sure, princess? You look a little green.” Safia speaks up as she begins to stroke your hair.

“It’s this stupid carriage. And the road for seven hells. How can it be so uneven?” You groan and Safia starts to rub your temples.

“It is awful, I know.” She soothes but her kind words don’t help. You just feel more and more nauseous.

“Oh gods.” You groan.

“Princess, are you going to be sick?” Rose asks, and to your dismay, you believe you are about to be sick.

You nod a little and she stands, banging on the roof. “Stop the carriage!” She calls out to the driver.

Before you’re even fully stopped, Rose pushes open the door and Safia helps you to your feet. You stumble out of the carriage and unceremoniously, onto the grass. You fall to your hands and knees, breathing heavily. You thank the gods when you don’t actually throw up and the churning of your stomach begins to slow with the help of a stationary position and fresh air.

“What is happening? Is the princess alright?” 

Oh gods why does he have to see this? You think to yourself as the young Lord Stark’s voice rings through the air.

“The movement of the carriage makes her unwell, my lord.” Safia says.

“Oh of course.” He murmurs and wanders off for a moment. You feel hopeful that he just decided to leave you but he’s back before you know it and kneeling by your side. “Here, eat this.” He says and gives you a gentle smile as he holds out ginger for you.

“Why would I eat tha-” He seems to know that you were going to kick up a fuss so as you are mid-sentence, he puts the piece of ginger in your mouth.

“Chew.” He says simply. Your eyes are wide and you want to refuse but you also don’t necessarily want to spit it out like a spoiled child. So, you apprehensively begin to chew the root, trying not to make a face at the peppery flavour. “Good.” He speaks again. “You’ll feel better now.” You think he looks far too pleased as he stands up in front of you and offers you his hand. You begrudgingly take it and he pulls you up with so much ease that you hardly even had to try and stand.

You brush your skirts off, feeling spiteful even if Cregan just helped you.

He just looked far too smug about it. You assure yourself as you make your way back into your carriage. 

Before the door is closed, your betrothed speaks up, “Perhaps I could join you, princess. Just to make sure you’re feeling better.” The smile he gives you is almost sneaky, as if there is some sort of hidden innuendo in there. You feel that he enjoys toying with you.

“That would be terribly improper.” You speak only loud enough for him to hear.

“Yes, of course.” He says but the cheeky grin never fades, even as he walks to his horse.

“Strange.” Rose says. “Most lords would enjoy the comforts of a carriage themselves.”

“Perhaps it would be an excuse to sneak into here.” Safia says scandalously. 

“Then he shall be perpetually disappointed.” You say as you settle into your seat.

The procession begins to move again and through all the bumps and uneven roads, and as more time passes, the nausea that plagued you never returns. 

taglist(comment to be added): General: @valeskafics @urmomsgirlfriend1 @girlwith-thepearlearring @darylandbethfanforever9 @lovellies @juhdoche @papichulo120627 @watercolorskyy

Lord husband: @feyres-fireheart @possiblyafangirl @hb8301 @marihoneywk @youn-jo @velvet-spider @janelongxox @ninastyless @nyctophilic0vitnir @m-a-s-h-k-a @delicious-xx @weepingfashionwritingplaid @happinessinthebeing @betelrus @joliettes @black-swan-blog27 @mxtokko @valeridarkness @karolalolla @satan-s-ass @synindoodles

#cregan stark #cregan #cregan x reader #cregan stark x reader #cregan stark fic #hotd #lord husband #hotd fic

[kkurami]

( LOVE LETTER 2 U ! ) 💌 ² ˚ ༘ fluff

୨୧ ‧ megumi didn’t think he was anything special, not until he received a carefully written love letter just for him <3

like petals unfurling at dawn, my love for you blossoms as each waking day arises.

there’s something so enchanting about being in love, don’t you agree?

i like to believe it gives people a deeper understanding of themselves and their emotions. most people i have seen turn poetic and elegiac when talking about the one they love, which i never quite understood until i fell in love myself. after all, how much can one change just because of another person? the thought had always seemed silly to me.

but if someone were to ask me to describe my feelings for you, i guess i would be a victim of just that.

loving you is a rather unpredictable experience. at times, you make me feel like the happiest person on earth. i get so giddy and whimsical just being around your presence, because you’re the most ethereal person. however, there are times when i’m worried you won’t burn for me the way i do for you. do you feel a fire light up in your soul whenever you see me?

my dearest, your presence is the melody that dances through the corridors of my heart. in the realm of moonlit whispers and star-kissed dreams, your love blooms in the garden of my soul, a symphony of sounds that show we coexist under the same sky. in every heartbeat, i find the rhythm of our connection, a serenade that weaves its way throughout our world. together, we compose a timeless sonnet of boundless affection.

i need to confess… i’ve loved you from the start ♡

a faint blush overtook her features and sat mockingly on her cheeks, as if it waited to expose her inner feelings. she could barely feel the heat that radiated off it, everything in sync with the fast beating of her heart. the inconsistent rise and fall of her chest was synonymous the turmoil she felt deep inside.

her widened eyes held nothing less than affection for the boy who stood in front of her, as his eyes scanned the ivory paper in his hands.

fushiguro megumi, the one who had captured her heart with such grace.

it almost seemed silly, how much the boy had managed to enrapture ever fiber of her soul. after all— they hardly knew each other. she was astonished to find out that he had even known her name.

“this is a love letter?” megumi inquired, an inquisitive eyebrow raised almost as if to think it was silly. “for me?”

y/n’s head bobbed up and down in nervousness. she couldn’t wrap her head around the fact that she was speaking to megumi. “yes! i know we don’t know each other well and you probably don’t like me like that, but i just-!”

“why… me?” y/n put a hold on her rambling to scan her eyes over to megumi, who had his eyeline focused on the letter in his hands.

y/n quirked her head to the side. “why not you?” the question was silly to her. “you probably think people don’t notice you, but they do. i do. i've always admired you, megumi.”

like delicate petals falling from a sakura painted sky, y/n was a blessing that had graced the earth- at least, in megumi’s eyes. he never considered he was anything special, and opted to just live his life as it passed him by. however with just one letter, y/n seemed to reweave the tapestry of his existence. the page, filled with words of love and heartfelt serenades, seemed to hold megumi’s heart within its grasp- and y/n was at the forefront of it all.

“but,” y/n began to speak again when she noticed megumi deep in thought. “you don’t need to like me back. i just wanted to let you know how i feel!”

a sad smile graced her face, and megumi hated being the cause of it.

“let’s get lunch.” megumi roughy stated without thinking, before correcting himself. “i meant, um, let’s get lunch together.” he couldn’t stop the blush the threatened its way up to his face, nor the fast pace of his heart.

with hushed tones and soft smiles, y/n and megumi began their way towards the lunch room. the air was adorned with the subtle symphony of love as their hearts synchronized. amidst the delicate cadence, the world melted into the background, leaving only the warmth of companionship and the promise of countless conversations yet to unfold.

it was the beginning of a perfect love.

#jujutsu kaisen #fushiguro megumi x reader #megumi x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #megumi fushiguro #jjk megumi #megumi x you #jujutsu kaisen megumi #megumi fluff #jujutsu megumi #jjk x y/n #jjk x you #jjk x reader #megumi x y/n #megumi imagine #jjk

[melliiaahh]

I think you’re a good writer!!

Can you do a scenario where the reader’s parents don’t approve of her blue lock boyfriend? Like no matter the blue lock boy does or say, Her parents don’t like him but she won’t break up with the boy because she loves them

Boys: Isagi, Rin, Bachira, Sae, Nagi, Barou, Shidou, Kaiser, and anyone you would want to write for!!

Thank you so much i really appreciate the support<3!!! of course ! ill try my best<3333 you're out here breaking my heart tho OH MY GODDDD

♧Blue Lock Boys and s/o with disapproving parents♧

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Word count: 3.7k

Warning: Swearing and use of feminine description.

Featuring: Bachira, Kaiser, Kunigami, Chigiri, Rin, Sae, Isagi, Barou, Shindo, Nagi and Reo 

Genre: angst, fluff towards the end of each reaction cause my heart cant take sadness </3

Notes: pls remember I’m Australian and we spell words differently LMAO, we spell mum with a U not a O OKAY I promise I’m not dumb HAHAAH

if you like my stuff have a look at my masterlist for more !

All characters are aged up!  Not proofread!

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Storyline...

“ I’m sorry guys but we just can’t approve your relationship together, he wants to becoming a pro athlete and you’re just a regular person y/n! What if he goes out into the world when he does soccer matches and finds someone he likes better? What if he goes out and cheats on you y/n while you’re here at home working all alone. I’m sorry y/n but we just can’t have you in a relationship that could end up with you heart broken, I don’t want to be the one picking you back up when this wannabe athlete star decides he’s done with regular people like us. Cmon y/n come to your senses, you guys are living two different lives here.” 

Your mother yells as you held your boyfriends hand while rushing to the front door. You can’t believe the words that have come from your mothers mouth, especially in front of your partner! you’re completely embarrassed and distraught at her words that you’ve picked dup your things and dragged your boyfriend to the front door to leave. You love them with your whole heart  and have known them since before they went into blue lock and could never see them do anything that your mother has said.

 You open the front door to leave but not before replying to your parents “ you know nothing about him or us, Mum, we will prove you wrong but until then I want nothing to do with either of you. He is an amazing guy … he works hard at what he loves and still is able to do whatever he can just to make me happy. But you would know that since you never put in the time to get to know him. But that’s too late now… Goodbye” 

You  quickly turn around with tears threatening to fall down your cheeks  and before your parents could say anything to retort you walk outside in the cold air and take a deep breath before slamming the door shut. You and your partner quickly walk to the car before slamming the door shut, as soon as getting into the car you break down and apologise profusely to your partner about the way your mother reacted……

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Reactions...

Isagi Yoichi

Isagi quickly wraps you up in a hug, whispering to you “ its okay sweetheart you have nothing to apologise for… and just like you said we will prove them wrong” He slowly moves to cup your face in his hands, gently wiping whatever tears you have on your face. 

“We will make this work. I don’t care if I’m hundreds or thousands miles away for a game. We will make it work because you are my everything y/n, I couldn’t care less what they have to say and ill spend all my life proving them wrong if I have to because I love you and not anyone else… okay?” 

You bring Isagi back into a tight hug before you cry a little more, butt his time out of relief at the words your beloved just said. After you have calmed down you let go and sit comfortably into your seat, Isagi doing the same with one hand on the steering wheel and the other gently rubbing your thigh for comfort he speaks up again 

“How about we quickly go to the store for ice cream and then head home to watch some movies okay?” He looks at you with a gentle smile before starting the car and going off towards the nearest grocery store. You nod your head at him  with a smile before watching you slowly move away from your parents house feeling confident in the love that Isagi has for you and only you<3

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Bachira Meguru

Bachira holds both of your hands in his and kisses your knuckles very gently. He knows now is not the time to play games or joke around after what just happened. He is upset and irritated that he couldn’t get your parents to approve of him but he can’t help but feel delighted that you chose to stick with him even after your parents explain their disapproval of him.

He moves your chin with his finger to get you to look at him before saying “ill forever be yours y/n, your boyfriend, your monster, whatever you want me to be I’m here… there is no one in this world that I would chose before you. You’re the one person who truely understood and stayed by me and ill always be that for you, no matter where I am in the world… I’ll always come back home to you.” 

He sees you smile and relax at his words which makes him do the same. He quickly grabs your face to give you a quick kiss on your nose, making you laugh which in turn makes him grin. Knowing you’re feeling better he sits back in the drivers seat before speaking up again  

“its also nice to know that you’ll fight for me, how such a loving partner I think ill swoooooon~” he giggles as he jokes with you which then makes you giggle before you slap his arm “ ill always fight for you my love” you respond, taking hold of his as he drives away.  

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Chigiri Hoyma 

Chigiri is shocked to say the least at your parents behaviour, he could never imagine his own mother or sister that way towards you so the fact that you have to deal with it breaks his heart. 

He knew he had to get you out of here before it caused you any more distress so he quickly grabs your hand and turns on the car, he doesn’t tell you where he is going but you’re thankful that he’s quick to get you out of there as you couldn’t bare to look at the house that’s now no longer yours to call home. 

It was not long before he found a park to stop the car at. Quickly parking he gets out of the car and comes around to open the door for you, holding his hand out to you to get you out before taking off his jacket to give to you. 

He then leads you to a park bench to sit down before saying “ I’m sorry that this happened my love. I hope what your mother said didn’t put you to have any distrust on me because I couldn’t think of anyone id rather spend my whole life with.. you’re my love and I want you to know that no matter where or what I am doing ill always come running to you if you ask. I don’t care if I’m all the way in Spain, if you asked I’ll come home at a drop of a hat because you are my world and the only thing that matters, soccer will forever come second when it comes to you, because everything I do is so I can see your pretty smile okay? So you don’t have to worry about me because my eyes are only for you<3” He finishes saying nearly out of breath which makes you laugh.

Hearing you laugh makes Chigiri smile brightly, knowing he is the one that caused the delighted sound that he loves dearly. “ Thank you Hyo, it means the world to me what you’ve said” you respond with a small smile which in turn makes chigiri engulf you in a tight embrace 

“ Anytime my dear, you know that I would give you the entire world and more if you so dare wished.. so let’s forget about what’s happened and go out for dinner hm?” He responds as he kisses your forehead gently while reminding himself how lucky he is <3

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Rensuke Kunigami 

Kunigami had to quickly calm himself down cause although they were your parents he was struggling to contain his anger and confusion as to what just conspired. But knew that you would rather leave the house and not come back so he turned the car on and went to the closest car park, as long as it was away from your parents house Kunigami didn’t care he just wanted you to be okay 

As soon as he parked and stopped the car, he turned to you and spoke “baby you have nothing to apologise for. You weren’t controlling your parents words so I hold no grudge against you but please understand this that I’m gonna be with you no matter what, you mean so much more to me than soccer and I could not care less that your parents think. You make my life so much better just by being in it and I don’t want to spend my life with anyone else, you got that?” He holds you tight to him almost like he is afraid that you’ll disappear

You reciprocated his hug and whisper thank you’s and I love you’s to each other until you’ve calmed down enough and felt better than before. Kunigami smiles before speaking up again “ now let’s not ruin this night, let’s do whatever you want. No matter what it is we will do it because I hate to see my sweet girl so down” you light up at his words which makes him grin and the sight, he loves nothing more than seeing you smile<3

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Michael Kaiser

Michael is practically seething through his teeth but he tries his best to keep his composure for your sake as well as his. You promised your mother that you’ll prove them wrong and he wasn’t about to ruin it now. 

Realistically Michael couldn’t care for your parents approval however the fact that you cared at all meant enough to him to support you, and now he’s pissed that your mother could break your heart like that.

“ You don’t need to apologise sweetheart, I don’t care what your mother said, im here for you and only you. She can think all those horrible things all she likes I couldn’t care less. Im more pissed off that she made you cry, so please stop crying sweetheart it’s okay, you’ve got nothing to worry about.” Michael says as he pulls your face into his chest, never wanting to let go.<3

“ And besides… she doest know that I’m only obsessed with you. I couldn’t give a fuck about any other low lives around us. It’s me and you against the world remember?” He continues as he puts small kisses on your head, he hums and whispers to you “ so no more of this crying and apology shit, im always gonna be by your side… now lets get out of here okay? And ill prove to you and your mother that I’m the damn best man there is for you” he grins as he starts to turn on the car and speed away

(Mans is a cocky bastard that literally takes to proving your mum wrong very seriously -_-)

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Reo Mikage 

He quickly hops into the car, telling his driver to get out of there (man is rich why tf would he drive HAHAHAHA) then puts his attention on you completely. Bringing you into a hug as you cried your heart out, still apologising for what happened. 

Reo pulls away and brings you in for a kiss, surprised by the sudden movement you stop crying and accept the kiss. He takes this time to wipe away your tears before pulling away and saying “ you’re okay, everything’s alright now prince/ss, don’t stress your pretty head I’m not going anywhere” 

You relax a bit after hearing his words, still hugging his chest you thank him by giving him another quick kiss before pulling away to sit back in your own chair which in turn makes him pull you even closer 

“What makes you think I am ever gonna let you go doll? Stay cuddling with me and I’ll prove to you, to your parents and the whole world that you’re the only wo/man I want by my side. You’re my muse and don’t you ever forget that, so let me prove it to you now” he says as he pulls you out of the car and into your new home together<3  

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Nagi Seishiro 

(Every fibre of my being is telling me that this man would be too lazy to get a license let alone a car but lets just go along with it HAHAHAH)

Nagi was left pretty much dumb founded at the whole situation, he didn’t speak much to your parents so he didn’t really know why your parents disapproved of him but nevertheless he held your hand the whole way home telling you to stop apologising. As soon as Nagi parked infant of his house he quickly gets out and opens your car door to let you out.

He brings you both inside and into his room. “Here lets forget about what they said because to be honest I don’t care about it, its really bothersome you know…” 

He guides you to the bed before smothering you with his whole body making you smile before trying to push him off so you can BREATHE “Cmon seiiii let me at least change clothessss…” you say trying you’re absolute HARDEST to get this man off you “but that’s so much work y/nnn, just come cuddle with me and play games...” He mumbles back, holding you even tighter. 

He then looks up at you before talking again “ I hope your not worried about me from what your mother said… you’re the only person I like spending all my time with.. you make everything less boring and irritating… I love you sweets.. plus you’re not a nag like Reo…”  

You smile back at his words, racipucating his cuddle before replying “ Thank you sei, I love you too” <3

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Rin Itoshi

Rin is very good at hiding his emotions around you, he never wants you to see him upset or pissed off especially right now. To make their own child cry and abandoned them makes Rin enraged to say the least, he knows the feeling of abandonment because of his brother so he at least knows a little bit as to what you’re feeling but to be your parents it was the least he expected 

Rin starts the car and drives away from the house, you know he isn’t much of a talker nor someone who’s good at consoling another person so you didn’t mind the quiet car ride, the only noise Is the radio and the rain falling onto the windshield. After what almost felt like an eternity, Rin quickly gets out the umbrella from the back seat and speed walks to your car door, opening it for you and leading you to the house before stopping at the front door step where he turns around to face you before speaking

“ I know im not great at this consoling thing but… I would never abandon you for some other lukewarm degenerate.. youre the only person that makes anything outside of soccer worth it… so youll always be my number one priority, even if I don’t show you that sometimes .. so stop crying ok?” He mumbles to you but it was enough for you to hear

You smile at him and bring him into a tight hug, which he accepts instantly. “Thank you Rin.. you’ll always be my number one too… I love you” you respond to him with a smile which causes him to be flustered and mumble back an ‘I love you too’  before opening the front door into your new shared home<3

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Sae Itoshi 

Like his younger brother he is very good and hiding his emotions from you and everyone around him as he thinks it is an annoyance however this time he can’t help looking concerned at your crying figuring trying to apologise to him that was clearly not your fault.

“ Don’t be stupid y/n you didn’t cause that argument, she did. So quit your apologising and let’s get out of here okay? I’ll treat you to some ice cream on our way back home…” he says trying to be as comforting as he can but again like his brother he isn’t that great at consoling. But you knew that and what he was doing now was more than okay cause you know he is trying by the way he looks at you with deep concern. 

You nod your head and stayed quiet as he turned on the engine and quickly sped off to the nearest ice cream store. Once he parked he quickly told you to stay in the car whilst he went to get the ice cream. While waiting you see him come out of the store with over several cups of ice cream in his hands, looking very focused to not drop a single once. Laughing yet confused at what you’re looking at you quickly jump out of the car to help him out

“ Saeeee Jesus! Why did you buy so many?” You continue to laugh as you both walk to the car, hands filled with ice cream “ I didn’t know which one you liked the best since you like all these flavours so I bought all of them! I didn’t realise that ice cream would be so expensive” he huffs in response. You smile at him before giving him a quick kiss on the cheek as a thank you, Then as you start to walk to the car you hear him drop the ice cream on the floor and spin you around, pulling you into another kiss, this time its soft yet passionate. It felt like years have gone by, by the time you two pull away he then speaks up with a soft smile on his face “I think after all this heavy lifting of ice cream I deserved a bigger kiss don’t you think?” He grins as he sees you laugh 

“ I mean sure but you did end up dropping like 5 of them just now” you respond pointing at the now melted ice cream on the car park floor. Sae’s face drops as he turns around to look at what he’s done “ AH FUCKING SHIT-“ 

⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ . • . ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – 

Barou Shoei (IS IS BARO OR BAROU???HELP)

Mans does not have a car he’s got a motorcycle and no one can tell me different. For Barou’s scenario just think that you walked to his bike instead of getting into a car <3)

Barou quickly shuts you up by hugging you tightly into his chest, telling you to shut up and calm down whilst he strokes you hair waiting for your breathing to slow down and thinking carefully about what to say next as he doesn’t want to upset you more than you already are. Once he feel you’re breathing has started to slow down he will slowly pull away and look down at you before speaking up 

“I don’t know what your parents problem is with me but I know damn straight they know nothing about me. You’re my partner and that’s that. Im not looking for anyone different because everyone else is a peasant compared to you, you’re mine and everyone else better fucking know it.. so don’t apologise for someone else’s behaviour, even if they are your parents. They’re fucking stupid to think id ever do something as dumb as leaving or cheating on you. All im focused on is becoming the king of soccer and making you happy, that’s all there is to care about. So quit your whining and let’s get out of this dump” he looks away from you bit flustered as to what he just said.

You know that Barou is just a softy at heart when it comes to you so you smile at his (sorta??) kind words towards you. You grab him by the collar of his shirt and pull him down to give him a kiss on the cheek before replying 

“ Thank you Sho… you always know what to say to make me feel better, let’s go home” you quickly walk towards his bike before looking back at him, seeing that he’s trying to bring himself together after the kiss. He is your big softy after all<3333

⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ . • . ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – 

Shidou Ryusei (AGAIN IS IT SHINDO OR SHINDOU?? this shit is confusing)

You currently crying is the only thing stopping him for going back into the house and letting your parents have an earful of Shindo’s thoughts, but of course he doesn’t because he knows that he should take care of you first and make sure you’re okay. 

He faces you whilst in the driver seat, puts his hand on your thigh to rub it for comfort which is a first since he normally does it when he what’s to do something else and he says in a serious tone 

“ Look I know I’m normally not the greatest boyfriend material to bring home to peoples parents but I know damn well fucking straight when I got a good one, AND YOURE THE BEST so obviously I’m not that stupid to let you get away from me or ruin it. I love you so fucking much baby. I only got eyes on you so there’s nothing you should worry about cause I’m only thinking about you and your fine fuckin ass” he says with a joking tone at the end which in turn makes you laugh. 

You know Ryusei knows how to make you smile and laugh even in your worst moments. You look him in the eye before replying “Thank you Ryu..youre the best” he then grins before replying “ YOU DAMN WELL KNOW IT, now lets go home so we can eat, Im STARVING… also at least now we know where you get you’re attitude from, you’re mum has a fucking MOUTH on her man” you retort by slapping his shoulder although you can help but laugh as he speeds out of the driveway towards home<3

⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ . • . ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – 

⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ . • . ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – 

#blue lock #anime #bachira hcs #bachira imagines #bllk #bllk bachira #blue lock hcs #isagi fluff #isagi headcanons #isagi imagines #rin fluff #itoshi rin #blue lock sae itoshi #blue lock rin itoshi #itoshi sae #sae itoshi x reader #blue lock sae #shindou x reader #barou shoei x reader #barou shouei #barou x y/n #blue lock barou #chigiri #nagi #blue lock manga #nagi seshiro #nagi x y/n #blue lock nagi #reo mikage #reo x reader

[tanadrin]

This is the Palestinian resistance. It’s not beautiful. It’s not inspiring. It’s desperate and futile and sad. Generation after generation of children, throwing themselves into the path of one of the most brutal military machines in human history, smashing their skulls against its steel hull, mangling their limbs in its treads, thousands of them, for seventy-five years, destroying themselves as they try to face down an engine that simply rolls on over the dying and the dead. These kids were brave, much braver than I’ll ever be. They rose to defend their honour. It’s noble. But stupid beyond belief. Later, Hedges talks to Lieutenant Ayman Ghanm, a Palestinian police officer who says he’s given up on trying to save these boys’ lives. ‘When we tell the boys not to go to the dunes,’ he says, ‘they taunt us as collaborators.’ I began by saying that this is a war without opposing sides. Israel is not actually trying to defeat the resistance; it has no political objectives, just violence. But the same goes for the resistance: they are not, in fact, doing anything to meaningfully resist. Think about what actually happens in Hedges’ story. The Israeli soldiers call through their loudspeakers for the Palestinians to come, come and be killed—and the Palestinians obediently show up. Their resistance is indistinguishable from following orders. The Israeli state wants a certain level of violence from the Palestinians, it actively courts it, and the resistance factions keep doing exactly as they’re told. They teach Palestinian children that the best thing they could do with their lives is lose them. This is not a very healthy attitude, but when you start up your bullshit about the glorious resistance you are part of that sickness. What would actual resistance look like? Maybe it would start with not handing over your life to the enemy. Not climbing up the dunes. In saying all this, I’m obviously breaking one of the biggest taboos on the left, which is that you must not presume to tell Palestinians how to go about their resistance. I might have spent time in Palestine, but I’m not Palestinian. I’m not subjected to the daily nightmare of occupation. Who am I to start preaching? My only reply is this: if the armed resistance factions were resisting sanely and effectively, this kind of taboo wouldn’t need to exist. If there were a better argument for their actions than don’t criticise the victims, you’d be making that one instead. But there isn’t, so you can’t. It’s not a coincidence that the exact same rhetoric is deployed by Israel and its apologists: yes, we’re committing hideous atrocities, but how dare you notice? Who are you to say anything to us? Whoever’s saying it, the fact remains that there is no military path to a free Palestine. This fact is inconvenient and unfair and doesn’t leave much room for the optimism of the will, but that doesn’t make it any less true, and if you think there’s an exemption from unfair truths that’s awarded to especially just causes then you are wrong. Israel has nuclear weapons: it will not be overthrown with small arms and explosives. I don’t think I have the right to condemn violent resistance altogether—but I can reject violent resistance that’s doomed to fail, that achieves nothing and produces nothing except violence for its own sake. Hamas and Palestinian Islamic Jihad claim to be fighting for an Islamic republic, in which Jews will be free to live peacefully as long as they don’t dispute the sovereignty of Islam. The PFLP claims to be fighting a revolutionary people’s war for a liberated workers’ state. Their critics say that both are actually fighting for an unlimited genocide, the death of every single Jew in Israel. But what difference does it make? This is all make-believe! None of it matters, because none of it is ever actually going to happen! They’re not fighting for anything at all. They’re just fighting.

This is a good essay in general, but this point draws out something I think is important: the need to believe that, if there is a group of Bad Guys in a conflict, doing Bad Things, there must be an opposing group of Good Guys doing Good Things. But there's no law of the universe that says it must be so; mostly there's just the churn of senseless, sickening violence, to no useful or redemptive end.

#israel #palestine #gaza #the world is not a morality play #and you cannot slaughter your way to utopia

[ladiemars]

I love Nor and her giant sad puppy eyes, I would love to know more about her

thank you!! have a hastily drawn nor ft. her giant sad sopping wet puppy eyes:

+ a giant nor lore dump below the cut જ⁀➴

➸ her whole character was inspired by that one textpost that’s like, “characters with both the abject terror and desperation of an animal that knows it is cornered and destined to be eaten. you just can't get that kind of angst out a successful hunter” and this quote by james harriet: “if having a soul means being able to feel love and loyalty and gratitude, then animals are better off than a lot of humans.”

➸ she’s is the product of a union between a drow woman and a deep imaskari man. for those who don’t know, the deep imaskari are a human subrace (from 3e) that have stone-like skin and hair that’s white or black. because that’s nor’s human half, most people assume she’s completely drow upon meeting her, since did not inherit any features from her father that would make her look less like her drow mother.

➸ the deep imaskari live longer than other humans—up to 550 years—so nor ages at a rate more akin to drow and elves than half-elves or humans. nor believes she’s currently around seventy years old, though she could be off by a decade or two. she’s not sure when she was born and has long periods without human contact. she really isn’t sure how much time has passed.

➸ she has no given name, but eventually ended up going by the name ratcatcher, which is what the locals in baldur’s gate called her. halsin is the one who names her nor shortly after they meet, which is the elven word for “passion” and also “run.”

➸ this excerpt from one of my fics sums up her urchin/orphan to urban ranger/beastmaster pipeline pretty well:

➸ around the age of twenty, nor grew to resent humanity so much that she decided to leave baldur’s gate and live in the forest with only animals for company for half a century. (this is when she lost track of time completely.) in the forest, she became an expert in survival, attuning her ears to the slightest twitch in the air, to every noise and smell. she lived in a cave and slept curled up beside velvet on a bed of willow leaves. the events of baldur’s gate 3 is the first time in decades that she’s had social interaction.. and it shows.

➸ she has a little wolfdog companion named velvet. (i’ve drawn him and her and halsin and scratch here). he was another half-breed who didn’t quite being anywhere, so they bonded very deeply. (fun fact: velvet killed the elder brain in my first playthrough as nor. he’s a legend in faerun now.)

➸ laezel is her bestie. they are ride or die. neither of them understand a damn thing about faerun or its inhabitants. but that also means they don’t judge each other for anything, cause they both just kind of assume what the other is doing is normal

➸ a big part of her character is her dynamic with the emperor. she gets manipulated by him so bad because he tells her everything a forgotten, unloved creature wants to hear: i need you, i’ll protect you, you’re not like other people, we’re a team, you can trust me, i want you to join me, you aren’t alone. it’s not until he begins to pressure and compel her to become illithid against her will she starts to fear him and his power over her, and after certain revelations she realizes he was using her and turns on him altogether.

➸ obviously she romances halsin. i love the dynamic of beastmaster/druid. they’re extremely well suited because they’re both such inherently good people and they bond a lot over their love for nature. they are also the only two people who can really understand each other’s animalistic quirks.

i’ve written some fics with her that you can read here if you’re interested. >:3c

#nor #ratcatcher #baldur’s gate #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #bg3 tav #bg3 oc #bg3 fanart #mars draws #asks #my art #baldur’s gate 3 #baldurs gate #dungeons and dragons #half drow #ranger tav

[papabigtoes]

How are you feeling about knubbs

I thought he was FANTASTIC in this movie (you gave me an excuse to draw him from it) !

(very in depth response below)

I love his character and how he acts. The facials of him sassily kicking the breakfast table killed me in a watchparty I had with my friends

And yes, all three of us went “NOOOOO!” when he was engulfed by the explosions.

I will say, as much as I tried to avoid spoilers, his death was spoiled for me in my inbox once the leaks circled around last week. It wasn’t it being spoiled that made me groan - it was the fact they were typed as if the annoying orange grew fingers and wanted to be EXTRA quirky. I am embarassed for the anon because all it made me feel was the same way I feel when I stumble upon a millenial making videos with their dog where they speak in this pseudo-european accent all squeaky. If you ever wanna make me clench my toes in disgust, just send me clips of dogs with bad forced accents all chipmunked. that one audio that goes “IF MONDAYE WAS A VEGGIETABLE, IT WOULD BE A ZZUCHEYENEYE, BECAUSE ITS ZUCHS!” oughhh i will be white knuckling my phone like murderface on twitter when he shits bro

THEN, I saw people on instagram and one had Dick’s face as it was melting from Nathan’s trip. When I saw that image before the movie, I believed either A.) When MF got exorcised Salacia jumped into the closest body and because he wasn’t a demi-god, his body began to legit melt, OR B.) it tied into the fact Crozier hired Knubbler to get info on the band since S1E2. And he was revealing that he wasn’t actually as good-intentioned as the band thought.

The fact he continued to be a wholesome wine aunt and hippie stoner uncle hyrbid to the boys, AND THE FACT CROZIER HAD AN ARC (in my au I have him be like a grumpy grandpa to the boys, and a dad figure to MF so the fuel this film gave me for fan art? BOUNTIFUL) god it was truly a feast

I think I would be more sad if they decided to have the route be that Knubbler was terrified to die. If he was pounding on that shield in a panic, oh that would hurt! He looked so accepting of it, looking at the band with confidence that they’d indeed save the world, was a pretty damn awesome way to go. He went out like a true gear - he feared not his mortality.

I will say, his passing wont cause me to cease drawin’ him and William! I’ll draw him like he died but he got better so he’s ok.

have a lot of dickface stuff I want to include into my fan piece au, and he’ll still be a favorite to draw when it comes to it. Lmk if you want me to draw any knubbler angst with mf and whatnot, because I’ll probably continue with my favorite route with drawing him - the Cheese Route™️.

What do you feel about it, anon? You don’t have to answer back, but I do enjoy Talkin’ Klok and would love to hear your thoughts too!

#fan fart #metalocalypse #dick knubbler #william murderface #dethklok #aotd spoilers #aotd #army of the doomstar #army of the doomstar spoilers #thank you for the ask!

[darkbluekies]

Hi, could I please request one for Hedwig where her darling tries to end the relationship not because they don't love her but because they believe they aren't good enough and could find someone better.

since darling always hears people wonder how someone like them got someone like Hedwig.

[I really, really enjoyed this one, i think its one of my favorites!! I love writing unstable yanderes <333]

I'd kill for you!

Female!yandere OC x reader

Summary: people have been telling you that you don't deserve Hedwig and when you're trying to break up with her, all Hell breaks loose. She can't let you break up with her.

Warnings: clingy yandere, possessive behaviour, obsession, love bites, angst, suggestion towards killing

Word count: 1.8

To Hedwig’s protests, you did actually sleep at home yesterday. She wants you to be as close to her as possible at all times of the day. This morning, she tells her chauffeur to drive quicker to school so Hedwig can meet up with you before class. 

You’re sitting in a chair in the back of your classroom. You’ve placed your bag on the seat next to you to make sure no one else will sit there. To be fair, you need a little break from Hedwig and her suffocating thoughts. If you let her know what you’re thinking, she will babble until you change your mind and think like she does. You have to get your head straight and make a list in your head before approaching her. If you’re not strict and firm on your ground, she’ll break you down. 

People have been saying that you don’t deserve someone like Hedwig. She’s out of your league in every way possible. Their jealousy has carved a hole in your brain and caused your self esteem to spill out. People haven’t been secretive with their opinions about you. You’ve heard it all. You would be lying if you said that it didn’t make your heart clench. Hedwig is your everything. You have no other friends than her — which is all thanks to Hedwig — and she treats you so well. She gives you everything you want, brings you with her for the smallest tasks and stands up for you when others track down on you.

She deserves someone better than you. 

Hedwig enters the classroom with a smile, happy to sit beside you. Except for when she’s about to move your bag, you stop her hand. 

“I’d like to sit alone today”, you say.

“Why?” Hedwig asks. “Is something wrong?”

“I just need to be alone for a little while.”

“Does this have anything to do with the fact that you didn’t want to stay over at my house last night?”

“Yeah …”

Hedwig places her handbag on the table and takes your hands in hers. You try to pull them out of her grip, but she won’t let you. 

“Please tell me what’s wrong, Y/N”, she pleads. “I will do anything. If I have done anything to make you sad, I will fix it immediately.”

“You haven’t done anything”, you sigh and avoid her doe eyes. “I just want to be alone for today.”

“Oh … okay …”, Hedwig says quietly and takes her designer bag. “I’ll … I’ll leave you be then … I love you, Y/N.”

You mumble something back but neither you or Hedwig is sure of what it is. She sits down by one of her friends and gives you a worried glance over her shoulder. You notice it, but you ignore it. Instead, you lean your head down on your arm to hide your face. Hedwig’s friend seems surprised that she’s sitting beside her for once, but Hedwig doesn’t give her any attention, all of her focus is on you. None of you listen to what the teacher says, you being too scared of how to break your thoughts down easily to Hedwig and her head being filled with worry for you. You’ve never asked her to sit somewhere else. Even in your darkest moments, you’ve let her sit beside you. 

As soon as the break starts, she walks back to your table. 

“Do you need anything?” she asks. 

You shake your head and stand up, grabbing your things. 

“Y/N, please talk to me”, she begs with a worried voice. “Tell me what’s wrong! I’ll help you.”

“I don’t know how to say it to you, so I’m waiting until I can come up with a good structure”, you sigh. “Give me some time.”

She gulps. “Okay … okay, I’ll give you the time you need, but can I please be with you?” 

She takes your hand, but you pull yours away. Her hazel eyes fill with tears and you have to look away before you give in to her. Again. 

“Y/N, please”, she whispers with a trembling voice. “You’re scaring me. Please tell me what’s wrong. Please let me be with you. I-I’m not going to make any sounds, I’m not going to bother you at all!” Her voice dies out. “I just … I just need to hold you.”

You want to give in and tell her to come with you, but you don’t. It’ll hurt her now, but she’ll be much happier when she realizes how much you weigh her down, just like everyone tells you. 

You leave the classroom and hear how Hedwig starts to sob behind you. You can’t see how she wipes her tears and gives you a glare through the window. She’s not going to give up on you so easily. 

The next day, it’s the same. You’ve placed your bag on the chair beside you and denies Hedwig access to it. You can tell that she’s more of a ticking time bomb today, about to explode at any minute. She’s touch deprived and needs your presence to keep her at bay. Everyone else’s attention doesn’t matter, it doesn’t satisfy her the way yours do. 

“Get up”, she says sternly. “We need to talk.”

“Class is about to start”, you remind her. 

“Get up, Y/N. Now.”

Surprised by the sudden strength in her voice, you find yourself doing as she says. She grabs your hand tightly and drags you out of the classroom, away from everyone’s eyes. You get pulled through corridors until she reaches the empty bathroom. She pushes you up against the wall to prevent you from running away. 

“What is going on?” she asks frustratedly. “Why are you avoiding me?!”

You have never seen her eyes so light before. It’s as if they’re burning with anger. 

“Why can’t you tell me?” she asks. “I don’t care if you don’t have a good structure to not hurt me, this is hurting me! This … this game of ‘show don’t tell’! Just tell me! I don’t care if it’s bad. Stop torturing me!”

“Fine … I think we should break up-”

“B-Break up?”

The furious light in her eyes is gone as quick as it appeared. Her doe eyes widen as she shakes her head, denying what you just said. 

“Hedwig-”, you start, but her trembling voice cuts you off. 

“Don’t you love me anymore?” she asks. “Have I done something-?”

“No, you haven’t. It’s just … I’ve heard that other people look down on us. They say that you deserve someone better than me and I’ve come to agree.” You shrug sadly. “You’re a great girl, Hedwig … and I don’t think you realize yet that I’m just ruining your reputation. I care about you so I can’t let you waste your last year of high school like this.”

“‘Waste’?” she repeats in shock with tears in her eyes. “Y-You think I’m wasting my time with you? Please don’t say that! I really love you, Y/N … a lot. Much, much more than you could ever imagine.” She grabs your face in her shaking hands. “I-I’d bring down the moon for you! I’d give you every diamond in the world! I’d … I’d kill for you!”

You shiver. Her voice has never sounded so raw before. She’s turning into a sobbing mess and you’re afraid that she’ll break. If she breaks, so will you.

“Please don’t leave me”, she cries and caresses your face with her thumbs. “I-I don’t care what other people say! I’ve never been happier than when I met you!”

“I care about you. I don’t want you to be badly treated as well.”

“I don’t fucking care, Y/N!” she shouts and leans her forehead onto your shoulder, suddenly losing all her energy. Her voice dies out again. “I want you. I don’t want anyone else. Please … please don’t let this end. You love me too, don’t you?”

You nod, voice not holding up. 

“We don’t need other people’s approval”, Hedwig says and nuzzles her wet face into your warm neck. “We only need each other, right?”

“Are you sure you want to take the risk?” you ask. 

Hedwig nods and kisses your neck once. “Of course.”

You sigh and nod for yourself. Maybe she’s right. You wish you had her confidence and determination. She doesn’t care what other people think. If only you could do that too. 

Hedwig pulls back and wipes her runny nose with the sleeve of her white cardigan. 

“So we’re not breaking up?” she asks quietly. “Right?”

You shake your head and she breaks out into a relieved smile. She dries her tears and hugs you, leaning her head on your shoulder. You hug back, holding her gently in her arms. Her happiness quickly turns into anger when she realizes that these thoughts of yours actually weren’t yours. People have been tainting her perfect darling to the point where you want to leave her. She can’t let you and her be surrounded by people who try to break you up. 

“Y/N, could you please tell me who made you feel like this?” she asks carefully. 

“I don’t know their names”, you admit. 

“You can point them out in the yearbook, can’t you?”  

“I think so.”

“Good.” She pulls back and smiles at you. “Everything will be okay, Y/N. I promise.”

You give her a small nod. Hedwig looks down at your neck, thinking. 

“Can I mark you?” she asks. “Please? I want to show people that you’re not going anywhere.”

You nod again. Headwig dives into your neck to create her own watermark on you. No one can steal you and claim you as theirs. The small, almost inaudible sounds you let out convince her that she can never let you go. She loves them so much, she needs to hear them. 

“So beautiful”, she smiles as she looks at her creation. “Now, let’s go back to class. I’ll sit beside you now.”

“Your makeup”, you remind her. 

“Oh right, thank you.”

She fixes her makeup and in a matter of five minutes, no one can tell that she’s been a crying mess. She smiles at you and holds out her hand. You take it and together, you walk back to class. The teacher scolds you for being late, but Hedwig tells him that you were helping her with something. The students can clearly see the mark on your neck and probably think you ‘helping’ her meant something completely different. 

When you come home to Hedwig’s gigantic villah after school, she sits you down on her bed and gives you the yearbook and a red pen. You have to circle everyone you’ve heard talk badly about your and Hedwig relationship. She leans against you while you let the pen mark out the students. Hedwig watches carefully, eyes darkening. Those people will pay dearly for trying to take you away from her. She will hire someone to take care of it for her and then you’ll never have to be afraid again. You’ll be able to live happily ever after with Hedwig!

#yandere #yandere drabbles #yandere imagines #yandere x you #yandere x reader #yandere fics #yandere stories #yandere oc #possessive yandere #clingy yandere #yandere angst #yandere female #unstable yandere