#I don’t. really like talking about my gender identity online because the first time I did I got a little harassed and. Man.

[yulin-pop]

⤷ ✧ 𝐇𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐲

order 84 | Scenario | Cater, Jade, Idia, Silver | gender neutral

❀ NOTE: PRETTY BOYS AHHHH, I wonder if all the characters are canonically attractive or are some characters like Ace considered mid?

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re so…”

➺ Cater Diamond

There’s a reason why Cater has so many followers on MagiCam. It’s because he has a cute face!! You’re not sure if he’s aware but he just has to be.

He does these tiny things like brushing the hair out of his face or slightly turning his head when he laughs. You didn’t really realize how pretty he was for a while. Sure, you got nervous just staring at him but now you can’t even look him in the eye.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re so hot…”

He blinked for a moment. He was in the middle of drying his hair when you said that. All he could think is “Oh wow?” He noticed that you’ve been staring at him so intensely for the past few days— maybe weeks.

But you said it straight to his face? He thought he misheard you at first but you definitely said that.

“Wow, I didn’t know you fancied me that way MC!” Admittedly it did fluster him, he was flattering in the best way possible.

“Don’t get it twisted, it’s not in the way you’re thinking!”

You’re in denial.

⊱Jade Leech

He has that certain look to him. It’s different than Floyd even though they’re identical twins. Maybe he’s not aware how MMMMMMM he is but he has to.

Just the way he looks at you can get you weak on the floor. His eyes… You noticed how his eyes squint ever so slightly when he’s focused. He’s calm under any circumstances yet so amusing in his own way. He’s the type of person you’d want to follow around just for the fun of it. And in his own way… he’s just so damn cute too.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re so cute…”

He quickly turned his head to stare at you. He’s not sure what you mean or why. It was so out of the blue. You’ve been stalking him for a while. Of course he knew and allowed it and treated it as if it was normal.

“Pardon? In what way am I… cute?” He turned his head curiously.

“Cute!” You said again.

He wasn’t sure how to feel, the last time someone called him cute was when he was a little kid. Most people would think of Jade as alluring or handsome, cute is something he hasn’t heard in a while.

“If you’re talking about my appearance, you must think Floyd is cute as well.” He says while smiling at you.

“Eh I guess so. But he’s not as cute as you.”

He moved closer, “Tell me, what else do you think of me?”

You put your hands out in front of you, as if to say stop. “Why do you have to be so close..?!”

*ੈ Idia Shroud

It’s already canon that Idia is very attractive from the character archives book and the ghost marriage event while being complete oblivious. He’s charming in his own way.

It’s hard to believe he’s so oblivious to his good looks. His smile is nerdy yet… attractive. His personality is rough but that’s what makes him so fun. Teasing someone like him is hilarious.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re so hot.”

He immediately cranked his head your direction with a baffled expression. He shook his head and let out an irritated squeal.

“Wh-who says stuff like that to somebody’s face?! Online I get it but this is IRL! Why does someone like you even think that?”

He just gets really flustered and ends up rambling about how it doesn’t make sense. But when he looks back on it, it gives him an ego boost for a few minutes and then he’s embarrassed because— it makes him happy that you think of him that way.

-ˋˏ Silver

Unintentional or not, Silver has been seeing you around a lot. He doesn’t think much of it since you’re in the same school so it’s not anything crazy but when he does see you, you’re always staring at him with this… funny expression.

Did he do something wrong? He tries to wave at you when he can but as soon as he turns his head you run away or start acting like you weren’t the one staring first.

But what were you suppose to do? Whenever you saw him, all your attention was diverted to his gentle yet sharp expression. His resting face was already so deadly, you couldn’t imagine if he were to smile.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re so pretty…”

He froze with a puzzled look on his face. This was one of the times you actually started a conversation with him instead of staring and running away and you say something so flirtatious?

“Ah…” He blinked as you gazed into his eyes nervously, “Thank you I suppose.” But in what way was he suppose to take that?

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #twst #idia shroud x reader #idia shroud #silver twisted wonderland x reader #silver twisted wonderland #jade leech x reader #jade leech #cater diamond x reader #cater diamond

[081314]

Book 7: The Ruler of the Abyss – Chapter 2 (Part 3)

Following is part 3 of my translation of Chapter 2 of Book 7: The Ruler of the Abyss. This part contains episodes 7-30 to 7-37. This concludes Chapter 2.

Main storyline spoilers after the cut!!

Episode 7-30

Ortho: Woah, there’s so many people here. The place is packed all the way from the dorm lounge down to the hallways. This turned out to be quite the grand celebration… And my big brother’s the only one in school who didn’t attend….

Ace: Yo, Ortho! Over here!

Ortho: So you guys all came, too.

Grim: *munch munch* You’re late, Ortho! All the tasty meat they cooked up is already gone, ya know?

Ortho: Fufu. Thank you for your concern, but I don’t require oral intake of energy, so it’s fine.

Deuce: You did get here pretty late. Did something happen?

Ortho: Yeah, I was attempting this high-difficulty quest before I came here. Namely trying to get my brother to come to the party.

Ace: Gotcha. Guess you weren’t able to clear it, huh?

Ortho: His Defense stats were impeccable as ever. I guess he’s not in the partying mood because of what happened yesterday.

Yuu: What do you mean?

Ortho: Truth is, this person my big brother’s been gaming buddies with for a while now announced yesterday that he’s retiring. And it appears they never exchanged offline contact information. Big brother was really upset about it, saying he just cut ties with him like it was nothing.

Deuce: Huh…? They’ve been friends this whole time but never knew each other’s contact info?

Ortho: It’s not at all uncommon for people to refrain from sharing their personal information and whatnot with their online acquaintances, regardless if they’ve known each other for a long time. My big brother is especially private. Even on the Magicam account he uses for gaming, he never once talks about any of his personal matters… And it appears the same was true for his friend. I feel that might be part of the reason why they got along so well.

Grim: Somebody who got along with Mr. doom and gloom Idia, huh. I betcha that guy must be a real party pooper, too.

Ortho: E-Erm... How should I put this… Big brother isn’t as gloomy online as he is in real life. On the contrary, he’s pretty enthusiastic. I guess?

Deuce: Shroud Senpai is!?

Ace: I mean, your online persona can be completely different from who you are in real life. Being able to make up your age, gender, appearance, and personality however you want is what the internet’s all about

Ortho: From my point of view, something like online anonymity doesn’t even exist… It’d be a piece of cake for me to expose the identity of big brother’s online friend.

Ace: Yikes. You Ignihyde students are scary.

Ortho: But big brother told me not to do it this time.

Deuce: Really? Ah, I guess even if you go find out who this guy is, your brother’d just end up doxxing himself the moment he reaches out to him. I bet that’d be a pretty scary thing for him to do.

Ace: That’s not even the problem here. If somebody you never gave your number to just messaged you all of a sudden, you'd get pretty freaked out, yeah?

Ortho: Yeah, you’re right. *sigh* …For my big brother, this person was his precious, living breathing friend. He went by the name Muscle Crimson. Big brother said that based on the contents of their chat exchanges, he appeared to be a calm and composed adult man, but… This person would always equip himself with a bunch of joke gear and storm into high level quests, and he would purposefully go trigger dangerous gimmicks and end up KO’d on the floor. He had a very unique play style. Even just considering his gaming handle, we can’t rule out the possibility that he was someone with an eccentric personality. For example, someone like… Ah, look over there. Someone like that…

Episode 7-31

Ortho: For example, someone like…. Ah, look over there. Someone like that…

Lilia: Hey, hey. Are you first years enjoying the drinks? Today’s my treat～ Drink up, drink up!

Jack: O-Okay. I’ll have a glass of juice, then.

Lilia: Isn’t it just delectable? Oh, I’m sure it is! That’s Briar Valley’s famous berry juice you’ve got there!

Jack: Y-Yeah. It’s delicious.

Lilia: In Briar Valley, you can’t have yourself a celebration without some berries at hand. That’s especially so for birthdays - the party can’t even start without them!

Epel: W-Wow. Really?

Lilia: Hm. You! Isn't your glass empty?

Epel: Eh hehehe…. Well, I’m really full from all the food so I think I’m good on drinks. Maybe?

Lilia: What’s this～? Are you trying to slink away without drinking any of my juice～!? Back in my heyday, I’d guzzle down entire barrels of this stuff whenever we had a feast. You youth of today just don’t cut it! Sebek! Go get me another dozen bottles of berry juice～～～!

Sebek: Yes, sir! I shall fetch them once!

(Sebek runs off)

Ace: Wha- you’re getting that fired up over juice!?

Lilia: Heh. When you’re a connoisseur such as myself, joy can be found in something as simple as a glass of juice.

Deuce: I think this is the first time I’ve seen someone cause such a commotion over juice…

Jack: Argh… This isn’t good... I came here to say thanks to Lilia Senpai, but when I went to go to talk to him I got stuck in this mess. I almost missed my chance. Ahem! Lilia Senpai… Thanks for helping us out during the interdorm spelldrive tournament… I was hoping we could have a rematch against you guys fair and square at the interschool tourney, but it’s… frustrating we won’t be able to now.

Lilia: Kufufu. What a courteous Kouhai you are - much different from your Senpai. The annual Interschool Spelldrive Championship Tournament, huh. It’s a shame I won’t be able to compete…. But please do ruffle up those Royal Sword Academy students for me this year, the favorites to win they may be. I’ll be expecting great things from you!

Jack: You can count on us! And thanks!

Epel: Lilia-san. You and I aren’t much different in height, but even so… You always stood right by Malleus-san's side as his equal at every school event we’ve had. I always thought that was amazing. I know we didn’t get a chance to talk much since we’re in different dorms and all, but I wish I could’ve asked you some more about… ahh… some pointers for being strong. I guess.

Lilia: Oh, if it isn’t the apple of Pomefiore’s eye. When I watched your guys’ performance at the VDC, you were positively grand up on that stage. You appeared so much bigger up there than you do in real life.

Epel: Wha- Really? Ehhehe, I’m happy to hear it!

Lilia: A person’s physique has no bearing on their abilities as a mage, don’t forget that. You keep on working hard, okay?

Epel: I will! And please stay well, Lilia Senpai.

Episode 7-32

Ortho: Lilia Vanrouge-san, thank you so much for inviting me here today. I know you also invited my big brother…. Idia Shroud, the dorm warden of Ignihyde, but something came up and he won’t be able to make it.

Lilia: That’s a shame. You be sure to give him my greetings. I never really had the chance to speak with him in length… But I’ve heard he’s quite a hardcore gamer. I’ve also become a bit of a gamer myself since enrolling here.

Ortho: Woah! So even Diasomnia students play video games.

Lilia: Ah ha ha! Your older brother had a similar reaction. I’ve thought about inviting him to join me in some co-op play, but I never got the chance to ask him in the end.

Ortho:  Really? I’m so happy you even considered wanting to reach out to him. Lilia-san, would you mind telling me your email address? Even if you’re moving far away, we’ll always be able to hang out together online, right?

Lilia: Errm… The place I’m moving to doesn’t have much in terms of internet service…

Ortho: I see. If you’ll only have access to something like a narrowband network, it’d be difficult to play any MMOs or FPS games…. But if you at least give me your contact information, then we could play together if they ever set up a broadband network over there.

Lilia: …. Alright. Then I’ll just go ahead and give you my email address.

Ortho: Could you display it on your phone as a QR code for me? Then I’ll be able to scan it.

(beep)

Lilia: You mean like this?

Ortho: ….Registration complete. I’ll send you a list of multiplayer games that you and my big brother could play together.

(ring 🎵)

Lilia: Oh, my. I’ve played many of these titles you have on here. I remember getting really into this RPG and this shooting game.

Ortho: Wait, really!? My big brother’s absolutely crazy about that shooting game, but… Even when he tries doing multiplayer mode not many people join in. I guess because he kind of turns into a maniac when he plays.

Lilia: Ever since I was but a novice gamer, I’ve had this one online friend who taught me all the basics. I got into that game per his recommendation.

Ortho: Oh, cool. It sounds like your online friend has good taste. I bet he’d also get along with my big brother! When we all game together someday, please invite him to join us.

Lilia: …Yes… Someday… At any rate, I never would’ve thought I’d end up befriending a humanoid when I enrolled here. You live and you learn, as they say.

Ortho: Fufufu! And I’m also really happy, as you’re the first fairy friend I’ve made. Whenever you get your internet situation worked out, please reach out to me at any time.

Lilia: Of course! I’ll be looking forward to it.

Episode 7-33

Lilia: Ah. If it isn’t… Ramshackle Dorm’s prefect and his little furry student.

Yuu: Thank you for inviting us.

Grim: What! This guy might be the prefect, but I’m the boss! Don’t get it wrong!

Lilia: Oh, is that so. Please excuse me. ….Hm. Since you came, Yuu, I wish Malleus would have also showed up.

Grim: Huh? He’s not here? Even though it’s a farewell party for one of his own henchman… He ain’t doin’ a very good job as the boss.

Lilia: Indeed. I hope you can give him some advice on how to be a better boss.

Grim: Whelp, guess I don’t have a choice, huh～ Since you guys cooked up all this tasty meat for us, I’ll show ‘im the ropes.

Lilia: Yuu. Since you came here, you’ve treated Malleus just the same as you have your other school friends.….. And for that, please let me say my thanks to you. I’m sure you know this already, but he’s both a fairy and the crown prince of Briar Valley…. As well as one of the most powerful mages in the world. Due to his terrible strength, people usually keep their distance from him. However… He needs to get to know the outside world better... And he needs people he can call his friends. I’ll be leaving this school, but… If it’s alright with you, please do continue your friendship with him.

Yuu: Of course.

(Yuu has a vision of Maleficent and gets shaken up)

Yuu: Augh, this is…!

Lilia: …? What’s wrong? You’re staring off into space… Are you okay?

Grim: He’s sure been doing that a lot lately.

Lilia: Our own Silver often succumbs to drowsiness and falls asleep standing up, but… Hmm. This is a bit concerning. You should discuss this with the principal when you can.

(Yuu nods in agreement)

Jack: Oi. You sure you’re okay? Your legs are shaking.

Ortho: Yuu-san, I recommended you sit down and rest for a moment.

Epel: Yeah, you’re looking really pale.

Yuu: I’m telling you guys, I’m fine.

Grim: Did ya eat to much? You’re such a handful, henchman.

(Ace walks over to Deuce and they start talking amongst themselves)

Ace: Deuce, Yuu isn’t looking too hot. Let’s talk to Lilia Senpai real quick and get outta here.

Deuce: Yeah. If we don’t talk to the party host before we go, Warden Riddle’s gonna have our heads.

Ace: “It’s a show of good manners that predates even the Queen of Hearts’ Rules”, as he'd say. Uuuh, hey Lilia Senpai! Thanks for inviting us to the party!

Deuce: All the drinks and food were delicious.

Lilia: Ah, you’re from the fresh crop of Heartslabyul’s card soldiers.

Deuce: Thanks so much for helping us settle the score back at the spelldrive tournament! It’s just…too bad that we have to say goodbye before we can pay you back for it.

Lilia: Kufufu. You, Cater, and the others all have such a strong sense of duty.

Ace: Well, yeah. According to the Queen of Hearts’ laws, you gotta return whatever you borrow or steal.

Lilia: Well then… If you really would like to repay me that badly, could you lend an ear to a certain request I have?

Episode 7-34

Lilia: Well then… If you really would like to repay me that badly, could you lend an ear to a certain request I have?

Ace / Deuce: Request?

Lilia: It concerns one of our first years… Sebek Zigvolt. He enrolled six months ago, and yet I haven’t once heard him mention anything about making new friends with the students in his grade.

Ace: Aaah, yeah… I got a few electives with him. He’s a bit of an oddball.

Deuce: Really? I’ve had a few joint classes with him, but that’s about it.

Ace: How should I put it… The way he talks, it’s like he’s always looking down at you. Whenever you get stuck doing group work with him, he’ll get all up in your face and be like, “You best not get in my way, human!” and stuff. And it doesn’t matter what you talk about, he’ll always relate it back to Malleus Senpai somehow and start blabbering about just how great he is.

Deuce: H-He does sound kind of intense…

Ace: I always had the impression there’s lots of “Draconians” in Diasomnia, but the guy goes totally overboard.

Deuce: Draconians?

Ace: Yeah, that’s what my Senpai in basketball club calls ‘em. They’re like Malleus Draconia groupies… Ah, more like his crazy fans. I guess they’re like that ‘cause Malleus Senpai is super strong, and he’s got, like, this aura around him… I can’t say I don’t get why people look up to him so much, but yeah. When people take it too far, it’s just…

Lilia: I do apologize. He’s not a bad person, it’s just that whenever Malleus’s name pops up, he gets a little…. No, he gets extreme tunnel vision.

Ace: Don’t tell me… You wanna ask us to be his friends?

Lilia: No, that’s not it. I just want you to…. If he ever hits a dead end during his time at school here, or if you ever see that he’s stopped moving forward and doesn’t know where to go next…. Could you two card soldiers give him a little nudge for me?

Deuce: So you’re basically asking us to help him out?

Lilia: Well, the Dark Mirror chooses people who are willing to take the hand that’s offered to them, right?

Deuce: Y-Yeah… Right.

Ace: I mean, if somebody at this school came up to you offering help, there’s no way they wouldn’t have some ulterior motive in mind. Only an idiot would take their hand.

Deuce: Oof, you got a point!

Sebek: Sir Lilia～! I have returned with the additional berry juice.

Lilia: Ah, we were just getting tired of waiting. Sebek, how about we take this opportunity and all do a toast together? The people gathered here are your fellow students, and your friendly rivals. This is a good chance to deepen your friendship with students from the other dorms.

Sebek: ….Sir Lilia. While I am incredibly grateful for your thoughtfulness, I have no intention of rubbing shoulders with these petty-minded individuals.

Everyone: What?

Sebek: There is one, and only one, reason why I enrolled at Night Raven College. And that is to acquire the knowledge and skills needed to serve as Lord Malleus’s guardsman!!! I haven’t the need for any more training partners, as Silver and the other Diasomnia students suffice. You weak little humans would be nothing but an encumbrance for me!! I have no reason to fraternize with you lot!

Lilia: ….*sigh* Sebek. You little…

Ace: …That right? Well don’t you worry. No way in hell would I wanna be friends with someone like you.

Deuce: Can’t you tell you’re disgracing your Senpai the way you talk?

Sebek: Hmph. If something is unnecessary, I don’t see what’s the matter with stating as such. Sir Lilia’s boundless kindness is why he’s treating you commoners with the utmost courtesy, that’s all. You should be thankful. And don’t you dare act so conceited, humans!

Lilia: Sebek! That’s enough!

Sebek: But…But I…. Argh..

Lilia: Goodness. I’d heard you were attached to Baul’s hip when you were little, but… You really did turn into the spitting image of your grandfather, all the way down to his speaking mannerisms and his way of thinking. If you’re this hard-headed at your young age, then I can’t help but worry about your future. Listen, Sebek. You have this wonderful opportunity to meet people who see things differently than you do, so don’t waste it. The world is so much bigger than you think it is, and there’s so much for you to learn. Don’t narrow down your worldview so much that you’re the only one in it. You understand?

Sebek: Sir Lilia… Yes, sir. I apologize. I shall be sure to take your words to heart.

(Everyone looks at Sebek expectantly)

Sebek: ……………….. Humph!

Ace: This guy’s hopeless. I doubt a single thing Lilia Senpai told him got through to his head, let alone his heart.

Crowley: Vanrouge-kun, I apologize for interrupting your conversation.

Episode 7-35

Crowley: Vanrouge-kun, I apologize for interrupting your conversation.

Lilia: Principal.

Crowley: ….Your carriage has arrived. It’s time for you to depart.

Lilia: Already? Time really does fly by when you’re having fun.

Sebek: P-Please wait, Sir Lilia! The young Lord and Silver have yet to return! If you could please speak with them before you go, if but for a moment!

Lilia: It’s alright, Sebek. I mustn’t keep the carriage waiting. Please give those two my well wishes for me.

Sebek: But that’s-!

Lilia: ….It was over 500 years ago when a single black envelope arrived at the Briar Valley royal castle. And within it was an acceptance letter to Night Raven College, addressed to my name. However… Back then, I hadn’t the slightest care to attend school, and I threw it away without a second glance. A few years ago, I was surprised to learn a certain someone had been safekeeping that letter this whole time within the castle archives… That was such a profoundly considerate thing they did for me, and I’m thankful to them from the bottom of my heart. And thank you, Dire Crowley, for permitting this old bag of bones to enroll here.

Crowley: I never could have imagined a student would show up one day with a 500-year-old acceptance letter in hand. But, as long as one has both the desire to learn and documentation of their acceptance, then we are glad to welcome any problem child into these hallowed halls. That’s Night Raven College’s policy, after all.

Lilia: The little under three years I spent studying here at this school, living in unison with members of all different species… It truly was like a dream. It pains me to have to say this… But I wish you all farewell!

(A cold wind blows through the lounge)

Everyone: !!

(Malleus appears in a pillar of green fire)

Malleus: Well, well… What a glittering assemblage. Students, faculty…Everyone is in attendance. Fufufu….!

(The crowds murmur)

(Silver appears in a pillar of green fire)

Silver: ….! T-This is? Diasomnia?

Lilia: Malleus!? Silver!? What happened? You’re completely covered in snow. The tip of your nose is all red, Silver… Hm? ...Silver, were you crying?

Silver: No, I-! This is just…

Malleus: Thank you for the invitation, and I do apologize for arriving so late. I’ve been mulling it over for so long, just what I should give you…. No, what I should give you all as a gift. And I’ve finally arrived at my answer. I certainly hope you will accept this… gift from my heart.

Episode 7-36

Malleus: I certainly hope you will accept this… gift from my heart.

Lilia: A gift? Malleus…. Just what do you have in mind?

Malleus: Listen well, all of you! I am going to bestow the most splendid of gifts upon you all. You shall no longer need to mourn any more partings, nor shed any more tears. *What we should be celebrating today is a beginning, not the end!

Silver: A… beginning?

Malleus: Heh heh…. Indeed. You all shall be born anew today. Into a world without sorrow, a world where you’ll never have to say goodbye to your family, or friends… or to anything ever again!

Crowley: Draconia-kun!? Just what are you intending to do here!?

Grim: Yikes! All my fur’s standing on end!

Yuu: T-Tsunotarou…!?

(An alarm sounds)

Ortho: A rapid accumulation of blot has been detected within a 10 meter radius. A magical disaster emergency alert has been issued. Immediate evacuation and further precautionary measures are advised.

Crowley: A magical disaster!? Augh…. Everyone! I permit you to use offensive magic! Stop Draconia-kun!

Everyone: !!

*This is what he says out loud. In the text he says: “What we should be celebrating today is a birth, not a parting!”

Episode 7-37

Malleus: Stand back, you fools.

Everyone: !!!

Lilia: Stop it, Malleus!! That’s enough!! …Dammit. I can’t even muster up enough magic for a single attack!

Malleus: Oh, Lilia… You were once so mighty. How it breaks my heart to see you like this.

Lilia: You idiot! Do you even realize what you’re doing!? What is the point of all this!?

Malleus: I WILL NOT LOSE YOU!!

Lilia: !!

Silver: Father! Please draw back. Lord Malleus isn’t in his right mind!

Sebek: M-My Lord…. Please… Please quell your raging heart!

Malleus: What are you so frightened of? A wondrous future lies before you. Now, give me your hand. Heh, heh heh…. Ah ha ha ha ha!

Sebek / Silver: …..!

Lilia: No… Stop!!

Malleus: O Spinning Wheel of Fate, spin thy thread of calamity. I, the King of the Abyss, shall bestow upon thee… *a blessing.

Lilia: Malleeeuuuus!!!

(As Malleus overblots, black thorns begin to entomb the school and the entire island)

(Everyone at the party is cast into a deep slumber)

Silver: Zzzzz….

Sebek: Zzzz….

Lilia: Zzzzz….

Malleus: Heh heh heh…. Ah ha ha ha ha ha! It’s alright…. You have nothing to fear. If you surrender yourselves to sleep, even a thousand years can pass in the blink of an eye. You all…. Shall become the heroes of your own fairytales.

(He is saying “Fae of Maleficence” out loud, and “a blessing” in the text)

Chapter 2 (Part 1)

Chapter 2 (Part 2)

#malleus draconia #lilia vanrouge #ace trappola #deuce spade #twst silver #epel felmier #jack howl #ortho shroud #dire crowley #sebek zigvolt #silver #twst #twisted wonderland #twst spoilers #ruler of the abyss

[your-gay-grandma]

Hey... do you have any advice on figuring out gender? I'm really confused.

I'm afab, and I'm comfortable being seen as a girl. But I also feel equally as comfortable being perceived as nonbinary, and I legitimately don't think I would feel any different if everyone in my life switched to using they/them pronouns for me. Really I don't feel uncomfortable with any identity except male or masculine pronouns and/or terms.

But I'm really confused, because no label feels right? Like I feel comfortable being called female, a girl, nonbinary, etc. But if I call myself any of those things I feel wrong, like I'm lying. I don't understand 😭

I like labels. I like being able to know that how I feel has a name. It makes it seem more real, if that makes sense. But I can't find any labels that work for this aspect of me, and I don't like it. I'm so confused, surely someone has felt at least similar to this? Right? I'm not alone??

oh my dear one, i promise you that you are not alone! i have felt the entirely same way and i must admit it is reassuring to find others find the process the same!

first of all, i think it’s really important to remember when questioning your gender or sexuality, that genuinely cis het people do not experience this questioning. the reason they are cis het is because they feel entirely comfortable and sure in that identity. if you are in any capacity wondering if those things don’t apply to you, then it’s certainly something worth pursuing! so, no you are not lying or pretending.

secondly, there’s no harm whatsoever in trying something out and deciding it’s not for you! if you want to try a different name, different clothes, different pronouns etc, it’s not going to matter if you decide later you’d like to stop.

the way i started was just asking a group of close friends to try different pronouns for me, only when we were together. i found i was positively giddy when i people used them, it was so affirming! i began experimenting with my dress, makeup, even the way i spoke and i found leaning into who i was with less emphasis on my assigned gender at birth was so exciting and made me feel just about a billion times more confident.

what if you don’t have a group of people you trust to try this with?

well, something i don’t see talked about enough is changing the pronouns you use to refer to yourself. for example, i often find myself telling stories about myself where i have to use pronouns. try switching them here and see if it feels right. you can also try pronoun dressing rooms online. you can also try things out in the safe anonymity of online spaces such as this.

now, as for labels. i’ve now reached a point where that doesn’t matter so much to me. personally, i feel my gender is most closely tied to my lesbianism. if it feels important to you to have a label, there are so many genderqueer labels that might describe how you feel. i can’t tell you what that will be unfortunately, but you might like to look into gender fluidity, being a nonbinary woman (ie. woman aligned), genderqueer, genderflux etc. but rest assured, your identity is just as real without labels. we have a tendency to box things in. maybe this isn’t meant to be neatly packaged.

finally, sometimes what you know can feel most comfortable because it’s what you’re used to. listen to that part of you that is questioning and follow it as far as it would like to go. if it leads you nowhere, that’s okay and you can turn back, but it might take you somewhere completely wonderful that helps you find where it was supposed to be all along!

good luck and please feel free to keep me in the loop in your journey! very proud of you for having the courage to question 💛

#ask #ravenlikesbooks #gender #questioning #nonbinary #genderqueer #gender fluid #gender flux #queer #lgbtq #lgbt #gay #lgbtqai #transgender

[my-castles-crumbling]

i’m having a bit of a gender dilemma at the moment.

i’m comfortable in my body, and i’m cool with she/her pronouns, but sometimes I feel a bit off.

i just think it’d be nice to go by they/them. Like, maybe not all the time but sometimes?

I told a friend of mine and she said i’d been indoctrinated by non-binary people… she wasn’t the best person to tell in hindsight but it sorta slipped out.

i don’t know really how to test it, i’d feel weird asking my friends to use they/them pronouns for me. They’re not like my other friend or anything, just wouldn’t get it. They’re not brilliantly educated on the topic and they’re not totally cool with the fact that i’m Bi.

Whenever I think about, or someone happens to use it, I quite like it. They/them pronouns. Plus i’m a lot more comfortable being referred to as a ‘partner’ and not ‘girlfriend’ or “wife” (i’m not married but just imagining it feels off). It’s not like, totally overwhelming, the feeling. It’s just sort of… there. Like it’d be nicer, but it’d be a lot of effort to explain it to people?

I guess i’m asking because you go by They/them/she. I assume it’s different for everyone but i don’t know. Could you maybe tell me a bit about how you knew you preferred (or liked) they/them pronouns? If you don’t mind 💖

Thank youuuuu

Hi! <3

So, I think the first thing that happened to me when I was thinking about my gender was learning about the concept of 'gender envy.' Or basically...seeing how a person expresses their gender and being like....'damn. I want that. I want to be that.' Once I realized I had gender envy for not just girls, I followed some nonbinary creators and listened to them talk about their experiences and feelings.

Then, of course, I did nothing for about three months. I let it eat at me and I denied it.

After a while, though, I confessed what I was feeling to my wife and my brother and I asked both of them to use they/them for me. I started expressing myself in more genderfluid ways and I researched a LOT.

The rest is history lol.

I mean from what you're saying, it sounds like you should do some research and some experimentation. Research different nonbinary identities. Decide which ones, if any, sound nice to you. Try expressing your gender in different ways, even if it's just alone in your room. Try experimenting with makeup and contour to shape your face differently. Hell, give yourself facial hair with mascara and see if you like it. Ask people online to refer to you with different pronouns and see how it feels. And try lots of different things! Pay attention to what feels bad, what feels weird but good, and what feels euphoric.

Also, for the record, it's okay to try all these things and decide, in the end, you're good with she/her pronouns. You don't have to be afraid of whatever the results may be.

Let me know if you need any help (including using any pronouns with you). You've got this, and you have a lot of people on here who are cheering you on!

<3 <3 <3

#ask #asks #ask cas

[nothorses]

hi! i’ve seen your longer posts on lgbtq+ community, and as someone younger, i’d love to here your opinion on this. i think there’s a trend of the internet where we’ve all “reclaimed” and “normalized” stuff like fruity and limp wrist etc. and often times incorporate queer slang into our online posting, and it’s co-opted by straight people because the queerness has been stripped away from it. what’re your thoughts about that? my main conflict is this: there are terms like “babygirl” or other feminine terms that people use for their favourite male fictional characters or male celebrities they like. and there’s a constant debate about how this mislabeling of cis people is harmful. first of all, i don’t agree that you can mislabel cis people. furthermore, i feel like just like how some queer slang has been normalized, terms like babygirl etc have been stripped of their original meaning which meant feminine. also, a lot of queer people, myself included, who’re not chronically online don’t really care about such discourse. plus, older queer people often subscribe to terms or identities that the internet would say is politically incorrect. so, personally i feel like it’s inconsequential to actual queer issues. but i wonder if i’m wrong in not being bothered by this. i’d love to know your opinion. (even though this ask seems a little all over the place.)

tbh I think you're getting at a couple of different issues:

Straight people "co-opting" reclaimed slurs against queer people because either a) reclamation has made them no longer queer-specific, or b) "co-opting" from outsiders has made them no longer queer-specific.

People taking issue with referring to folks with gendered terms that do not apply, i.e., "babygirl"- your belief being that a) these terms are no longer gendered (through gender-agnostic use), and b) cis people cannot be misgendered.

In general, I don't really think meaning can be "stripped" from a word the way you seem to imply. I do think that words will shift in meaning and collective understanding over time, but this is definitely a longer and less tidy process than what you're talking about here.

People who have been personally targeted by "fruity" and "limp-wristed" are not forgetting those experiences when 16 year olds on TikTok use the words without understanding what they mean. "Babygirl" does not become less painfully gendered to trans men just because you have seen a lot of internet posts using the word to refer to cis men.

I don't really think straight people should be joining in on the "fruity" and "limp-wristed" jokes; I also don't think policing those folks does anyone any good. We don't necessarily know every random internet person's personal history or intentions, and it's not our place to make assumptions or demand explanations. But we can, imo, still spread information and encourage introspection.

People who think they can make those kinds of jokes despite not being a part of the target demographic are usually doing it because they don't agree with those views, and they're arrogant and presumptuous about how they think those views exist or don't exist today- usually because they're young and lack that lived experience. They can learn, and probably want to.

I think we should also apply that to folks using "babygirl" the way you're describing. And I think folks shouldn't be using "babygirl" that way, either. First because you don't know anyone's personal history, you don't know for sure whether random internet strangers are cis or trans, and it absolutely does feel like misgendering to a lot of trans people (myself included!).

Second because cis people absolutely can be misgendered. They can also experience gender dysphoria. They typically don't, because the way society perceives them aligns with the way they perceive themselves, but when we use that as justification for targeting them with shit we already understand to be cruel to trans people, we're really just engaging in garden-variety transphobia in new and exciting ways.

And third because gendering men as women/girls is an extremely common and extremely damaging joke meant to uphold and reinforce gender expectations. Men are compared to women/girls because emasculation is a punishment under misogyny. Applying that punishment as frequently and randomly as possible doesn't mean you are no longer reinforcing that system by engaging in the punishments it uses.

Reclamation is also… not "stripping meaning" from words. I'm not 100% sure that was the implication, but just in case: reclamation is about changing the negative connotation of a slur to a more neutral or positive connotation. "Queer" still means what it always has- but the connotation of the word is now, in at least some mouths, less "you're a freak who I hate", and more "I am proud to be this", or even just "this is a group of people that exists".

This is long enough already, but basically: words do have meaning, we can acknowledge when people are using them maliciously or just ignorantly, and we can talk about that. But don't assume you know everything about anyone- their identities, their experiences, their emotions, their intentions, or anything else. Don't assume you know why someone is using a word a certain way, and give folks the benefit of the doubt unless they prove themselves to be taking advantage of it.

#slur discourse #thats it thats all my thoughts on slur discourse #this is also. why I say i don't fucking care about most of it. I don't know why everyone using every slur is using that slur. #i also do not care. we can say 'people should not do this' and also know that some people who look like they are doing that #are in fact not. #and also do not actually owe you an explanation about it.

[i-wanna-linger]

i like to joke sometimes as a nonbinary girl scout camp counselor that my gender is girl scout camp, but it’s honestly not far from the truth

because i think that growing up at camp influenced how i see gender

i think of my very first counselor, leaf. at school i felt so out of place with the other girls, we were getting close to middle school and all my friends wanted to look more grown up, they wanted to wear make-up and talk about boys and between the autism and the queerness that i wouldn’t discover for a few more years, i just didn’t... fit. then i got to camp, and i met leaf, the unit leader for the juniors. i remember thinking she was so cool, how she wore basketball shorts and sneakers every day, she wore glasses and never wore makeup. as far as i know, she was straight and cis, but how she was at camp inspired me, defined what “butch” was in my head when i first began to question my identity

i think of our old archery instructor when i was a camper, who had short hair, and moved to california the year before i started cit. i think of how even today how those of us who knew them try to avoid pronouns when referring to them, only using their camp name, because none of us have talked to them in years, but we feel that they may have ended up trans. but we don’t know, not really, so it’s best to avoid pronouns at all.

i think of when the trading post first got the girl scout barbies. how everyone was so excited but so few got it (because who really shows up to the trading post with $20+ in hand). and once the novelty wore off, when we eagerly crowded around the one person who bought one that week, and we’d all laugh because she may be girl scout barbie, but she wasn’t a girl scout. she was supposed to be someone at camp, but we laughed because only an idiot would come dressed like that, with makeup caked on and uniform impeccably pressed. this barbie, a symbol of girlhood to many, just... couldn't be a girl scout. not at girl scout camp.

i think of our current adventure specialist, who first came to our camp in 2015, then was a counselor at the other sleepaway camp for a few years before returning in 2019. they were the first counselor who i knew to be openly gay, when i overheard her talking to another counselor my first year as a ca in 2018, saying the words “my girlfriend”. it was the first time i had ever seen an adult be queer in real life. up until then, the only gay people i knew were the other kids in my middle school friend group, and we were relentlessly teased by our classmates for it, especially the one friend who was trans and used they/them pronouns. but here was evidence that an adult, a normal, well-adjusted adult, could be gay. we weren’t just “chronically online” or “watching too many buzzfeed videos”, we were… maybe normal. even as a camper, too, back in 2015, she was cool, she didn’t dress how girls were supposed to dress. they had what seemed like a different baseball cap every day (the one i remember most being bowser). now that i’m on staff, we’re friends now, and they still inspire me.

i think of being a camper and braiding each other's hair, sitting in the acorn huts we used to change after pool. i think of talking to my best friend imagining going to sleepaway camp and a hypothetical situation where a tentmate would forget sunscreen and got horribly burnt. “i’d let her use my aloe vera” i said. “i’d laugh and say i told you so” she replied. i think of the two of us and a third friend running wild around the camp, thinking we ran it at the age of 11 simply because we were nearly cadettes now and had been here for longer than some of the counselors.

i think of two of our old waterfront directors, who inspired me in different ways. the first, a retired ap bio teacher. she was unmarried and had short hair and always told stories about her girl friends going on canoeing trips in their younger years. i think about how her camp name (she always said it was after a sea monster from an old cartoon) was a name usually associated with guys. i later learned that it was really just a shortened version of her “real” name (only two letters omitted) and that a lot people she knows outside of camp call her by that nickname.

the second waterfront director was a lot younger. they had short hair, it was dyed green, they were nonbinary and weren’t afraid to tell the kids that, they may have even been the first to. they taught me how to make bead lizards, and they hugged me after campfire the last day of summer in 2021, when i was crying about how i was so terrified to go to college and leave my little sister alone with my parents. they post memes about bugs and science on their instagram story. they were only here last summer for a few days, but every moment felt special.

i think of the daisies and brownies who don’t quite get gender, who to them long hair=girl and short hair=boy, and any deviance from that breaks their brains, because surely that’s all gender is. they don’t get my pronouns right, but that’s okay. they’ll learn.

i think of the one spring event where i helped run boating, where a couple of cadettes came up to me, excitedly saying they like my pin (which had my camp name and pronouns). and i think maybe i’m that adult that inspires for a new generation of girl scouts.

i think of all these things and more.

because i will never be a girl again.

but i will always be a girl scout.

#Girl Scout Camp #gay scout camp #camp counselor #long post #gender

[transienttheologyproject]

i hope my followers & others keeping up & supporting this project know that whenever you leave a kind message on my post — whether it be something as simple as a tagging your reblog of my posts with ‘!!!’ or as personal as sending me a message to the effect of ‘this type of work means so much to me thank you for doing it,’ you are helping me keep my momentum going.

bit of a whole big rant below, sorry for the length, but tl;dr i’m just immensely grateful for what support this project has received because the backlash it has gotten has taken way more of a toll on me & my mental health than i anticipated, and your kindness has helped in motivating me to not just completely wipe this whole thing from the internet.

today yesterday kinda sucked. a lot of the past couple weeks have sucked, especially since pushing more of an online presence with this zine, because of course, with something like this you’re naturally gonna attract a range of Christians, from those ‘gender-criticals’ (whatever that means) who think I’m misguided, to those who begin their messages by calling me & my work perverted, to those whose vitriolic transphobia manifests in sending me Gospel verses weaponized as straight-up death threats. and obviously i knew this was going to happen, and it did, even from as early on as when i was posting the calls-for-art.

and at first i handled it well — i deleted whatever i felt wasn’t worth my time responding to, and if i could meme a hate-comment into a promotional tiktok, then i kept it around to do exactly that. and that worked. i told myself i wasn’t going to get defensive and bound up in keyboard wars because the purpose of this specific project, this specific platform isn’t for debating or dialoguing with Christians who don’t affirm trans+ identities — it’s to serve those who are trans+ and Christian, and I didn’t want this intra-community effort to become an inter-community debate forum. dialogue is a perfectly necessary thing, don’t get me wrong, but there’s a time & a place for everything and this project wasn’t meant to be it.

as the weeks went on, however, the negative attention this project was receiving began to take a toll on me. it didn’t help that in addition to the anticipated pushback from Christian peers, some of the trans+ folks i knew gave me a hard time for ‘bootlicking the oppressor.’ i was, and still definitely am, having the most intense experience i’ve had to this day of the exact type of ostracization that inspired me to pursue this project in the first place — too trans for the Christians, too Christian for the trans folks.

receiving comments calling an academic research project i dedicated my entire summer to “perverted” made me doubt everything i had worked so hard on. accusations of “heresy” and “blasphemy” i had expected and received plenty of, but perversion was not something i had anticipated. comments like “you make me sick” made me second-guess everything i had done leading up to that moment — am i sickening? i was falling for the false narrative that exists as the backbone of much of today’s transphobia — that trans+ people are inherently groomers, monstrous predators. i was perverting my body, they said, and scripture, too — and i began to wonder if they were right.

receiving comments like “enjoy your insanity! I hope the boot still tastes good when they've taken away all our rights so you could feel like ‘one of the good ones’” made me doubt my identity as a Christian. yeah, it’s no secret that the anti-trans legislation running rampant and scaffolding an era of fascism in the United States is the result of neoconservative Christians who represent more the Rome that Jesus mocked & condemned than Christ’s mission itself. i began to worry if calling myself Christian identified me with the oppressor and if talking about transness from a Christian perspective was really a helpful endeavor or if i was essentially stabbing my trans+ community in the back.

you’d think that given the nature of this project, i would be better about not letting those sorts of interactions wear me out. because i’m conducting a project that’ll say “hey, trans+ Christians, you don’t have to choose between those two facets of your identity because they’re not mutually exclusive,” you’d think i would’ve had that mindset confidently internalized. or maybe you wouldn’t think that, but i guess i thought so myself. and i guess i thought that expecting the petty backlash & having done enough research to dismiss it was enough to be prepared for it. not really.

from the beginning, i told myself, “don’t let the mean ones get to you, you’re smart and have done your research and know what you’re talking about.” but there was such a separation between myself and my work this summer that i never truly internalized what i was writing about — i believed it, but i didn’t necessarily believe it for myself.

this project has been a labor of love. and i definitely think the labor part got the best of me this whole summer. the literary review was a drag. writing up the annotated bibliography was immensely frustrating and took me way longer than i would have liked. same with the zine’s section prefaces. and i had planned and hoped to meet with and interview several professionals in the various fields examined in the zine — and i totally dropped the ball because of… something that felt like burnout, which actually made me feel like i had committed the biggest blunder of my professional career before it had even begun. I’m still recovering from that.

the mental and emotional toll this has caused me, the academic, spiritual, psychological, and physical strife this whole endeavor has proven to have been has resulted in me sort of dissociating from the project; i talked about it as though it was a passion project of mine — which it is — but as i was working on it, i felt so disconnected from the material. as if it were akin to a homework assignment in a class i couldn’t care less about.

i’ve been in a tough spot regarding mental health for a long while now (for various other reasons besides this), and i’ve reached the point where i’ve wanted to pull the plug on something to just try and break whatever vicious cycle im trapped in, whether that something be as large-scale as dropping out of university, or as low-scale as shaving all my hair off, or maybe…well, maybe since i can pinpoint these online interactions and this research pursuit as a whole as contributing substantially to my poor mental state, maybe i should pull the plug on the zine. screw it, delete the social media pages & the website, make sure artists get their copies & be done with it.

but i have folks who have been legitimately looking forward to this — not even just people of the intended audience! i have cis Christian friends on my college campus who had never met a(n openly) trans+ person, let alone a trans Christian, before they had met me who have demonstrated such a genuine eagerness to learn from the expressions of faith and gender from myself & others like me. i know a Catholic mother — the sweetest woman — who is ordering a physical copy of the zine so she can try to understand and support her two trans+ daughters, and any other trans+ people she meets, better. i’ve had countless people — strangers — message me “this work you are doing is incredible and incredibly needed. thank you for doing it.” i’ve seen several people, folks just scrolling through their tiktok for you page who don’t even usually follow after leaving me comments to the effect of “yknow, this is a strange crossover episode, but i’m here for it, this is cool!”

there are people who want this work out there. and what’s more is that there are people who need this work out there. and i guess every time someone goes out of their way to extend some kindness towards me and gratitude for this project, i am reminded that i am among those who need this work. those little moments ground me in the purpose and mission of this project — to serve my trans+ Christian community, particularly those who may be having trouble reconciling their intersection within those identities especially within the current socio-political climate. and like, that’s me!!! i am a member of my community, i am a part of the people i am hoping to serve.

everything i was (and truthfully, still am) anxious about, everything that was (and is) weighing on my heart is everything that this project hopes to challenge. all the doubt i’ve been experiencing as of late is exactly what inspired me to do this work in the first place.

and the kindness and gratitude so many of you have extended towards me in the past few weeks, especially within the past few days, have truly helped ground me. i’m still struggling to get back on my emotional feet per se, which is why i will ask that if you find a moment, you keep me in your prayers — but i genuinely mean it when i say that every positive tag on a reblog, every share on one’s story and every kind comment serves as a reminder to me that a.) there are people will be genuinely served by a project like this, and not only that, but b.) i am one of those people. you all remind me to take a look at what i’ve done from the perspective of a trans Christian, not of a student researcher or a graphic designer or a social media moderator or any of the other practical roles i had to take on this summer. you remind me to look at this project as the type of person it’s meant to serve. you remind me of my initial hopes and goals with this endeavor.

you remind me to allow myself to be transformed by the work i have done.

when you share with me how inspirational this project is to you, you remind me to let myself be inspired by the work i’ve done. when you share how much this zine means to you, you remind me to let myself take meaning in it.

and i think it’s sort of ironic in a very beautiful way — so much of this zine focuses on the idea of entanglement and the interdependence of many facets of our lives, and it wasn’t until this project became entangled with you all so much that your experience with the zine is no longer just dependent on mine, but that ours are interdependent on each other. the positivity you feel at learning about this project is poured back into my cup, giving me the breathing room to finally allow myself to feel positively about it, too.

so truly, from the bottom of my soul, thank you. thank you for your kindness and your support, and for making it this far in my ramblings if you have. i know it was quite disorganized and probably very repetitive but this is my first time sort of articulating what i’ve been feeling so heavily recently. so, thank you again — i hold each and every one of you always in my heart, mind, and prayers!

<3 - Soup

(the man behind the curtain)

#tw transphobia #wow this is a lot #thanks for reading #i love yall #transgender christian #trans christian #trans and religious #trans and christian

[emilybrontesghost]

So I’m not saying this to hate on Heartstopper (because I actually really like the show overall and think it genuinely gets representation right for some queer people), but I have to say, as a wlw this show has been bringing up some feelings of exclusion as well. I realize I’m coming at this from my own experience, but I know from reading online from other wlw that I’m not the only one to feel this way, so that’s why I do want to talk about it. The “it” being representation. I definitely respect what Heartstopper has done for the mlm community and what it’s done for young queer guys. I’m happy a show that normalizes same sex relationships for young boys exists and that it was handled in such an age-appropriate and kind way. It is impossible to ignore though that women in this show and in media in general still end up getting the short end of the stick. I say this mainly because one thing I see being said about Heartstopper SO much is that gay boys love how the representation speaks to their experience and finding their identity as a teen. I’m glad a generation of young boys get this, but I do feel there is not a true equivalent of this for girls, and definitely not one that has taken off to the extent Heartstopper has in terms of mass appeal and popularity. I empathize with those boys who feel like they didn’t have representation growing up or who feel that this is the first show to really show their experience, but I can’t help but be reminded in the process that not only was there no such thing for me as a wlw as a teen, there still isn’t now that I’m an adult. Yes, there are shows with wlw representation. Yes, Heartstopper is one of those shows. But so rarely is a wlw relationship ever the main focus of the plot of a show. Tara and Darcy are not given a fraction of the screen time that Nick and Charlie get, and this maybe wouldn’t bother me so much if this wasn’t always the way it was. So many shows relegate wlw relationships to the sidelines and so many shows for queer people always center queer boys. Part of how I think I went so many years where I was confused by my identity is honestly because representation, especially for teenagers when I was in high school, sucked. When I was 16 I had never met a single queer girl. I knew lesbians and bi girls existed in the way that we know things like dinosaurs are real but they seemed so far removed from my day to day reality there was no way I could figure out if that was me. The only media I was aware of and the only real life representation I saw was queer men. In some ways this is why I think I also went through a period of time where I was questioning my gender. My problem though was never actually my gender. I just had internalized the idea that I was seeing all around me, which was that “being queer was a male thing to be.” Boys liked girls but they also sometimes liked boys. But as a girl I didn’t know how a girl liking girls looked. It wasn’t really until I started actively searching for any and all media I could as I got older that I started to really see that yes, I was queer, and a wlw relationship was something I really wanted. I feel like I could have come to this conclusion though much sooner if there had been more age-appropriate shows and books readily available and promoted though for girls. I didn’t really understand my sexuality until I was an adult because I had to turn to movies for adults to see what I wanted to see. I love movies like Blue is the Warmest Color and Carol and movies like them, but I wouldn’t say those films were really made with teens in mind or that both are entirely appropriate even for a very young teen to be watching. Blue is the Warmest color is a pretty sexual film, and that’s fine, but it would have been nice to have something so innocent as Heartstopper available. All this to say, I really am happy we’re making strides in terms of making queer media for young people, but I don’t want to see young queer girls get left behind.

#wlw media #wlw representation #heartstopper

[jadenvargen]

your kiraodo melted through my brain like acid and feels like someone smooching my heart directly!!! but also jay what odo childhood novel (and is it good and should I read it)

ACH i’m glad I really love ’em… omg I have so much to say about the novels I feel like I’m gonna ramble for a hundred years but TLDR; they’re the terok nor trilogy and they’re called night of the wolves, dawn of the eagles, day of the vipers, and are about the occupation of Bajor from the cardassian DS9. the ones concerning baby odo’s upbringing are dawn of the eagles and night of the wolves:)

honestly i skimmed them a lot for character parts because the writing and OCs didn’t really have me hooked personally, but oh man those parts were stellar. It skips a lot since it follows a lot of chsracters but we get Odo learning to talk, babbling like a baby and being a creepy little slime baby not knowing how to make a real body :) Just adored it! Also his basic education, confusion about gender(yayyy), confusion about identity, and very downplayed but still present mora brand parental abuse. more details and rambles about the novels and details under readmore LOL

Also, Odo’s first years outside. We also get his days as an officer. One ”oh huh” thing is that Mora says it’ll be at least 10 years til he’s can think and function like an adult when he starts working, (which I find particularly interesting as he remarks to Laas he first gained sentience 30 years ago in season 7— making him 23 at the start if the show, and the youngest core crew member any way you slice it.) (extra extra funny that In the beginning script Odo was pitched as a ”middle aged clint eastwood type”— gee, that changed quick!)

We also get Kira’s resistance days which I think tend to be written in a kind of corny YA fashion but it might be fun for some people! And also get a Quark Odo meeting much like in — and we also get Odo’s first-first time seeing Kira when she breaks into his lab, which I think is extra gender fun because he thinks she’s a boy before he’s like wait… she has a different vibe…. bit corny but fun:) Odo also helps out with Bajoran resistance fighting as he gains further understanding, and in fact it’s Kira who recommends him for the job of security chief at DS9 so Ok. Interesting.

Some Odo exerpts I think are very. Good! :]

All in all I’m kindof a snob when it comes to published writing and also I hate most DS9 novels they’re all well, tv tie-in novels but also theu’re either boring as hell, misogynist, racist, or like everyone is an evil sex pervert. The Terok Nor ones are fine, buuuut I would honestly skim if you’re not a diehard for lukewarm space politics, I don’t think the conflict or OCs are especially interwsting and the first book is just about Dukat and Doesn’t explore him in any way I personally find interesting. Dawn of the eagles can be found on internet archive but the others aren’t hard to find Somewhere if you catch my drift.

Also if by any chance you’re interested in any other DS9 pockets my two cents are the only ones that are fun are:

-the tempest

-vengeance

-devil in the sky

-saratoga but only the subplot where odo has to impersonate quark for a ferengi deal the sisko plotline is hell on earth😔

and a stitch in time is widely recommended but I’d skip tbh… or like the parts on ds9 with julian are good, but i cannot say i care at all for the cardassian maze runner divergent ghoul school, nor the way any of the women are written lmao and i read classic french lit for a hobby so u kno its bad if i cant stand it it’s literally the she breasted boobily down the stairs meme😂 i never read the 34th rule because i found its concept extremely tasteless. like really… anyway sorry for the ramble I just get really excited talking about star trek tie-in novels.

TLDR theyre kinda boring but have fun parts and are avaliable free online so i mean why not?

++Odo’s first words and some other Le Swag Baby Odo scenes:)

#ask #long post #sorry am a geek at heart!! i will geek out >_<

[pixelated-whump]

@ailesswhumptober Day Twenty-Two - Alternate Prompt: Disowned by Family

TWs: Implied transphobia, gender dysphoria

Contents: Sakura just tells their backstory to their friends, I don't have much else to put here

Characters are Sakura (They/Them), Lilac (They/Them, No ref, Purple slime cat with red eyes), Ran (He/They, Ref), and Rusty (He/Byte)

Sakura and Rusty, old picture

Also posted on Ao3!

It’s not uncommon for Sakura’s group of... well, they aren’t really sure what to call their roommates. Regardless, it’s not uncommon for them all to gather around a fire late at night, usually when there’s no school the next day, to talk about whatever comes to mind. Tonight happens to be one of those nights.

It’s just Sakura, Ran, Rusty, and Lilac tonight, with Nami already asleep and Baseplate off somewhere (nobody really knows where it disappears to, it just does).

“Y’know...” Lilac starts, glancing over at Sakura. “You’ve never really told us where you came from.”

Before they can even think to respond, Ran butts in. “But, you don’t need to tell us if it makes you uncomfortable,” He says, shooting the slime a short glare.

Sakura shrugs, taking a sip from their water bottle. “I mean, if y’all are really curious, I don’t mind telling my story.”

Lilac nods eagerly, and Sakura begins telling their tale.

---

I never understood why my body never felt right. It started when my antlers started to grow in, when I was around seven or so.

I was a late bloomer, normally my kind would grow them much sooner. People thought I was a girl for the longest time, though my mother would always sternly correct them.

I don’t really know why she was so defensive about me being a boy. I don’t think I ever will.

Back to the point. When my antlers started to grow in, I felt... ashamed. Scared. Like something was wrong with me.

It wasn’t until they bloomed beautiful cherry blossoms that I started to not mind them. Mother said it was family heritage to have flowers bloom on your antlers. Apparently, cherry blossoms symbolize life and beauty, but I’ve also heard they represent death and violence.

I was conflicted when they shed for the first time. On one hand, a physical and metaphorical weight was lifted. On the other, I found my antlers beautiful.

When I was around thirteen, I found out what was wrong. It wasn’t me, it was... what I was born as.

I was born a man, and I didn’t want to be one. But I didn’t want to be a woman either, that didn’t feel right.

When I was fourteen, I realized there were more than just male and female. I started out using they/them pronouns online, and I was surprised to find out how euphoric it felt.

Mother was always so strict, I was terrified to tell her. But I did anyways, because I knew it wouldn’t be right to live a lie.

She was... not accepting. I don’t entirely remember what was said after I came out, and I don’t care to. I packed my things that night and left.

---

“And now I’m here,” Sakura concludes, taking another sip of water. “I changed my name and identity when I left, and I couldn’t be happier.”

“Cheers to having no family,” They add sarcastically, a mirthless chuckle escaping them.

“Aren’t we your family now?” Rusty asks quietly. He hasn’t spoken the entire night, but there’s a small smile on their screen.

Staring up at the clear night sky, Sakura hums. “I never thought about it like that. Hm. I guess so.”

They can hear the grin in Ran’s voice when he speaks. “Cheers to an even cooler family than our last ones!”

The group bursts out into giggles, and Sakura thinks that maybe their new family isn’t so bad.

#ailesswhumptober2023 #whump #nonhuman whumpee #whump writing #pixel's whump

[bunnimatsu]

OKAAAYY lets do this one last time, yeah? For real this time..

this is it. my name is y2kmatsu (temporarily)

my actual name is maxx (well, chosen name. im tryna get used to it) but you can call me jarvis if thats what you know me by! (yes yes like tony stark’s assistant)

anyhow, i’m 21 years old as of typing this, and i make 22 in september.

my pronouns are she/they (sometimes ‘he’) my gender is fluid 🥴

i mostly draw in my everyday life but when i feel inspired to write, i write.

i guess my personality can be described as such:

ichimatsu on the outside but once you get to know me, i’m just as chaotic as bakamatsu (jyushi and oso though by other people around me, i am known to be oso’s carbon copy except...not much of a perv and nicer..? idk. so…..)

anyway, i’m very much open to talking to anyone about anything because lets be honest here…we’re all thirsty for those six motherfuckers. so its a great bonding experience.

uhh, i work a lot so i might not get back to you as soon as i would like so please bare with me!

my username will most likely change quite a bit because i have existential crisis’ about my identity online so…

A N Y W A Y,

idk what else to say.

oh.

uhh i don’t really tolerate hate and all that stuff so if you have negative energy, take that bitch somewhere else.

uhhh

i don’t rlly want bl//matsu stuff near me so, plz don’t come to me with that

other ships tho, please BY ALL MEANS (i personally love karabita so feed me that)

oh. and minors.

do fucking not.

please.

for the love of fuck.

do not.

i’ll be nice at first, but if you keep on, i will not hesitate to eat your fingers and then block you.

other than that,

yeah.

hello :]

love y’all

from,

maxx aka jarvis <3

p.s my main account is @1-800-jarvis if anyone gets mixed up

#hi im jarvis #osomatsu san #ososan blog #ososan

[kermitmentality]

Okay hi again lol how are you, hope you're doing well UwU There's some mega drama at my school because a teacher was outed for being many disgusting things (being a misogynistic, homophobic, transphobic, xenophobic, fat-shaming creep who fixates and has inappropriate relations with his female students).

And - I just - the teacher in question is somehow my friend??? Obviously we aren't friends anymore, but I thought that he was one of those cool teachers who are close to their students and give them candy, life advice and shit.

I feel dumb and stupid and childish for not realizing that he's been very manipulative towards me and honestly I feel disgusting. I was going through my old messages with him (also recounting my in-person experiences with him) and noticing how he's been so creepy this entire time??? And??? I'm in shock???

I've heard him be homophobic before, although when he talks to me he tones it down because the first time he expressed something about how the SOGIE Equality bill should not have been created in the first place in the Philippines I fucking flipped my shit - (Sexual Orientation, Gender Identity, and Expression which seeks to protect and advocate fairness and equality towards not only members of the LGBTQ community, but also to every person in the country) He disagrees with it for all of the wrong reasons because he sees gay people as less and transgender people as even less is just? Bro w h a t -

Yeah, the worse is that there were multiple instances of him asking me to send pictures of what I was doing and making very suggestive comments (both online and in person) that it took me four years to realize exactly how bad the situation was. He also said that I would look prettier if I just lost weight and keeps commenting if my boyfriend (at that time, he's my ex now lol) had already tried being... intimate with me, and going into disturbing details like how he would smell and how it would feel and then getting pregnant? Like? I WAS 15 AT THAT TIME STOP.

So my cripplingly low-self esteem has gotten impossibly lower and now I feel dirty, how is your day going?

um first off i’m so sorry idk when u sent this but i haven’t been able to get on much at all so i just now saw this

anyways, u m m im so sorry that happened to you

but pls know it’s not your fault, i’ve made that mistake myself. and people like that know exactly how to gain your trust and manipulate you. it’s not your fault u didn’t realize it and u aren’t stupid for not knowing, but hopefully now you won’t be in the same situation again :)

im glad that they found out and im

hoping he was fired or idk throwing him in prison sounds like a good option also lol

there are sadly just horrible people out there :( it really makes me so sad bc these things ruin so many peoples lives and they always seem to get away with it too

but yah, once u gain someone’s trust it’s hard to see them as a bad person or to realize that what they are doing is wrong, and they know exactly how to manipulate u bc of that trust. really, it isn’t ur fault at all. pls don’t take it out on urself, u were young at the time.

idk how i can help with your self esteem but once u realize that it wasn’t your fault that u made that mistake, and you happened to fall in a trap so many others do, hopefully it’ll help. 

ily and ty for sharinggg i hope ur doing a bit better now, and hopefully next time u come to me with something i can answer faster 😭😭

[wild-at-mind]

Talked with some of my friends from [redacted activist group], they are all cis and middle aged or older. We were getting coffee and chatting and someone brought up kids in schools being taught about gender identity. And I was like :S but pretty soon I downgraded to :/ I guess, because it became clear that while all of them didn’t really understand it, they clearly wanted to.

The first thing that kept coming up was a fixation on how many genders there are, I said well, infinite, and one of them said no there are 8, and another was like ‘no, there’s 12′. I said why so specific and one of them said they had seen a list of x many. I was trying to figure out how to explain that the specific number/names for genders people use doesn’t necessarily matter. I think this is harder concept to grasp for outsiders to this world than we realise. I wanted to say that each name for a gender may be used by different people to mean vastly different things, and by the same metric people can invent their own, and a small number of those made their way onto the list, but I was kind of worried it might make things seem more vague and confusing. The whole thing had the same energy as when people google ‘what is the difference between bi and pansexual’ and wanted a solid definite answer when there just isn’t one. But I do sympathise because people like solid answers for things! I know I do. x means this and y means that, that’s awesome! Simple messaging is great but we just don’t have it by design. I’m not really sure what the solution is but empathy for people who come to these ideas in good faith but confusion is important I think. The whole thing came up because one man mentioned that a friend of his had a child who was doing a lesson on gender stuff during lockdown, and because it was home learning his father had seen the some kind of list of genders and been confused by it. I was a bit :S again because it sounded a bit like some right wing idea telephone thing, and we all know how often ‘my friend’ is actually ‘someone online said it’. This is in England and I think there has been a curriculum addition for primary school children about gender identity, which some right wingers who pretend to be feminists are very ‘concerned’ about, so I have no reason to believe it’s an entirely made up boomer facebook meme. The gender identity stuff in these lessons is taught alongside early sex-ed stuff that no one should be obecting to-teaching kids which parts of their bodies are private etc. (Personally, I think it’s great for self esteem to teach kids that their interiority and identity matter from a young age, as someone who only found out their interiority mattered at like 25.) I think it can’t be underestimated how weird and confusing the whole supposed ‘feminists vs trans people culture war’ sounds to outsiders when they go in with no knowledge. It’s not as clear cut right and wrong as people within it seem to think. Another man said it seemed like the two groups were talking past each other. His wife talked about remembering a time when women’s spaces didn’t exist and had to be fought for, and not as a ‘keeping trans women out’ thing. She didn’t say the last part, that was my added thought. I’m continually thinking about how things that are transphobic dogwhistles now had a completely different context going back only a few decades. And I feel like if we don’t learn the history of our movements, this will all be forgotton. These movements still matter, even if in the present they wouldn’t work. We all exist in the world these movements built. (For the record, I’m not exactly sure what she meant by female only spaces in this context. Presumably not changing rooms or toilets as that would make gender neutral bathrooms some kind of weird regression. It is true that the feminist tactic of consciousness raising was focused on bringing women together, that was probably before her time but maybe she’s referring to something similar.)

Her husband talked about his nephew, who is genderfluid, picketing to have a university professor fired because she did research on sex and gender. (He didn’t say the professor’s name so I can’t look more deeply into what this research actually was, or judge if her approach seemed benign or deliberately in bad faith.) Anyway this guy said ‘I just don’t understand the need to do that-’ and his wife cut in like ‘haha when we were younger we were working to deplatform people for supporting the regime in South Africa!’ and he was like ‘...yeah that’s true. I see so much of myself in [nephew].’ It was sweet. (Also great reminder that deplatforming is not something millenials or gen z invented despite what you might hear.) I said that as I got further into my 30s I was losing the very black and white sense of morality I had in my 20s rapidly. I feel more and more that we need to meet people where they are, unless they are actively malicious or acting in bad faith. I didn’t go too far into my own identity. I’m completely closeted outside of certain circles, and until I come out officially as far as I’m concerned talking about my own gender identity is like talking about my religious belief would be if I had one- too personal for casual conversation. I have no idea how they see me- I imagine as a woman with short hair who never wears anything feminine. It doesn’t bother me currently but maybe it will change if I ever come out. People who are outwardly ok with GNC people can suddenly become all weird with the concept of pronouns changing- I imagine because it asks something from them, however small.

Anyway I don’t know what the point of writing this was, except to try and express that I think maybe some older people who don’t happen to have a trans relative need some gender identity 101 classes- this is completely not facetious. There are many people trying to understand and I wish people in the know would differentiate that more from malicious lack of understanding.

#gender #feminism #lgbtq #gender identity #i know this isn't entirely generational btw i know nonbinary people of the same generation as them #but though i don't know for sure i suspect they didn't come to this realisation when they were young it was further into this 'movement' #that we're having #i'm fascinated btw by the massive wave of nonbinary people who i am told are in schools right now #we'll see what happens and i will be interested to see myself slowly age into being the completely clueless one! #but on the plus side- since i decided i would probably transition one day i've been able to see a future for myself #i used to just not be able to imagine myself getting older

[randolphbellmd]

this is about to get really fucking long but i can’t hold it in anymore and need to shout about it to an audience who absolutely will not listen.

the graduate program chair has been trying to hold “town hall” meetings at the end of every semester. setting aside the fact that this professor is the worst facilitator i have ever met and feels the need to respond to every comment with a defense (that, in most cases, is not necessary, especially at a town hall-style event), the whole premise is stupid because the grad students know that no matter what we have to say, nothing is going to change. grad school is always going to be isolating and awful, there are always going to be unclear expectations and a poor selection of classes, and we’re always going to be lower than undergrads in importance. we know this. we’re not idiots. 

anyway. after the last town hall he was like hey sam, how do you think that went? and i was like um... do you want me to be honest? apparently he did, so i was, and told him to do it virtually and anonymously (like we did in 2020) and that maybe he could send us some questions to respond to ahead of time so we could type out our answers (again, anonymously) rather than speaking on the spot in front of our peers. so he did! he was like alright yo we’re meeting online and we’ll be sending out a survey at the end of this week. 

flash forward to thursday morning at 7 am, where i get a survey that BEGINS with demographic questions. some of which were incorrect. my day started with an eye roll about how “transgender” is not a gender identity and how “prefer not to say” and “another option, not listed” are not synonyms. why a survey about a 30-person group needed demographics at the front of it should have been the first red flag. but alas, i kept clicking. 

the second page (the second. page.) jumped right into what mental health issues have you encountered during grad school? what symptoms do you suffer from? four questions straight out of the PHQ-9 that is administered at a DOCTORS OFFICE regarding depression and anxiety, which i’m pretty sure my employer can’t ask. i kept going but took screenshots of all of these, because at this point at 7:10 am i’m getting pretty fucking pissed. it’s invasive, it’s inappropriate, and it’s unnecessary, and the fact that it’s about to be associated with a meeting of my peers is even worse. the survey concluded with actual questions about the grad program and stuff like that but only after asking what my race was and how many days out of the last two weeks i’ve had little or no interest in activities. it also asked how do you deal with stress? and included options like exercise, tv/movies, pets, baking, weed/alcohol... and i had to click “other” to write that i go to therapy.

so, i take this thing, and then i tell my friend not to. i said listen, wait till the end of the day. don’t start your day with this. it’s just... it’s not good. it’s bad. wait till the end of the day. (she did, and clicked out of it once she got to the second page saying ‘there’s no way i’m telling you this’).

now, i’m a person who’s fine talking about mental health. especially in graduate school. and especially as someone who’s been in therapy for years. i’ve lost people to mental health struggles, and know people personally who are in our field (and in our department) that lost their struggle with depression. 

i’m fine normalizing talks about mental health, not about mental illness. so many of the ways that STEM grad programs talk about it is this rise and grind mentality and that if you aren’t suffering you aren’t doing it right, that you’re always going to be alone and you’ll never find your peers. that’s just not healthy. that’s not a good environment to live in. and it’s really not good to walk into an office and say “sup losers, i’m really fuckin anxious right now and haven’t slept in three weeks” and have everyone else be like “word”. a much more productive way to talk about it is to feel comfortable saying that, and then to have your labmates say, i’m really sorry you’re feeling like that, is there anything i can do to help? or “i remember that time in my research. do you want to get a drink later?” 

ANYWAY back to this dumbass fucking survey and this town hall that is now under 24 hours away. i was so astonished by this survey that i felt the need to find out where the information was going. i had just shared sensitive information with someone and wanted to know what it was going to be used for. i wanted to make sure that it wasn’t going to be be shared out with my peers as “hey, 100% of you reported depression symptoms.” and everyone to be like “lol i know right”. that’s damaging?? i get that you want to collect the data and have a baseline understanding of whether your student population is suffering but you can’t diagnose mental health conditions and you can’t force your students to tell you that they have been diagnosed!! 

so i called the professor who sent it and was like hey, listen, what are you doing with this... it’s really sensitive... i’m just wondering what the purpose was and where the data are going. which felt like fine questions. the one i held back was “hey dickhead who the fuck do you think you are asking questions like this and expecting honest answers when you didn’t tell us any of this was coming”. he answered my questions (poorly, see above about how he’s a poor facilitator and defensive) and i’m absolutely dreading monday because i know that he’s going to put up a slide that says “all of you are depressed and that makes me, as your professor, sad”. also because “all of you” is going to be like, 10 people, because if you send a survey to 30 graduate students, 15 are going to open it and only 10 are going to make it to the end.

i have a line drawn in the sand where if he crosses it by saying that suffering is a part of school or that it’s just covid or that you all should be talking about things like this to normalize it i’m going to have to jump in and be like listen, due respect, but you’re not equipped to talk to us about this. we’re not equipped to talk about this with you. mental health in graduate school is a thing and if you’re serious about handling it, bring in a professional. bring in a counselor. bring in a doctor. encourage each and every one of us to use our insurance benefits to seek out someone to talk to. but you sir, are not the one to do this. and i also always want to tell students that they need to stop treating grad school like an accepted suffering. the first thing i do when new grad students come is tell them to stop following #PhDLife on instagram and to stop comparing themselves to everyone immediately. 

i have so many words of wisdom and idiocy for new students and while i’m also not a fucking expert i’ve struggled with depression my entire life and i know that despite what you might think, sometimes the worst thing you can say to someone who’s opening up to you is “yep. me too.” and sometimes the best thing to say is, “hey, do you want to split some nachos. let’s get out of the lab. c’mon, it’s happy hour at this place within walking distance.” because that, my friends, is a lifeline. that’s the tether we’re all searching for. that’s someone who’s been there and who’s there now reaching out and saying “i know your project is nothing like mine and your experience in life is nothing like mine and that’s why grad school sucks a hundred times more than undergrad because there’s no such thing as ‘good enough’ when there’s no baseline but at least for the next forty minutes we can be two twenty-somethings in a neutral location and maybe share a plate of nachos.” and then maybe the next day is just a little bit easier. because the next day you know you’re not alone. and when it’s your second year and a new first year student comes along, you want to do the same for them. 

okay, i’m off my soapbox now. 

tl;dr: my professor asked a small sample size of students invasive, personal questions about mental health that are borderline illegal and i’m really scared about noon tomorrow when they’ll be shared out to the entire graduate class by someone trained as a microbiologist and not a mental helath professional and it’ll do ten times more damage than good. to a population that really can’t handle more damage than it’s already dealing with. 

#this is really long and will be deleted #but i'm really ticked off and defensive of this thing and it's about to really explode #and there's absolutely nothing i can do about it #even if i do something after the fact you can't put the ship back into the bottle #grad school sucks and so does the way that grad school talks about mental health

[dykecubes]

Sorry for talking about four year old discourse but

Now that I’m on the topic of the old as fuck tommyinnit lesbian discourse and I went back and rewatched the clips and almost all of them are literally just like.

Yes they’re jokes but they’re all jokes about questioning one’s gender and sexuality and finding solidarity and community among queer people, and while, yes, they are most likely just jokes there are also moments in them that feel genuine, in the first one where his chat calls him a lesbian and he pauses for a second before deciding not to follow that train of thought on stream he seems to be seriously considering it for a moment before saying “no, let’s not think about that on stream”, another quote he was cancelled for was (verbatim) “I don’t know if I’m a lesbian, I know it comes with time and you have to figure it all out but I don’t know if I could be, if I qualify, I sure hope I do”, and in the “I get lesbians” clip he immediately follows it up with “I love ‘em and I understand them”

Honestly from my perspective as a lesbian the latter two are really sweet sentiments to me and felt relatable

I want to make it clear I will never be a truther for any content creator I’m just saying this to make a point but if he had actually been questioning his identity like he jokingly implied through these clips what a fucking way to ensure someone never so much as thinks about coming out of the closet again, in that moment where he got that message in his chat calling him a lesbian something seemed to click for him, even if it was a joke or he played it off as one he was suddenly confronted with the possibility that he could just be a lesbian only to immediately be confronted later that day with thousands of people telling him he’s a terrible person for being a man and so much as thinking he could maybe be a lesbian. What if it had turned out that these weren’t jokes? What if in those moments he had actually genuinely questioned his identity, even if it was just for a moment?

We’ll probably never know but regardless the response to these moments are almost exactly the same as why I hid parts of my identity in queer spaces, for the longest time I hid my pronouns and gender identity on twitter and tiktok especially because you’re “not allowed” to be a lesbian and identify with boyhood or he/him pronouns, or further back I hid my lesbianism all together because lesbians and asexuals are opposites

There’s also something to say about how people in theory believe that you shouldn’t assume someone’s gender/sexuality, yet the possibility of a person online who isn’t open about their sexuality potentially being queer is a fundamental impossibility for them

Idk, I’m probably thinking far too much into this but the tl;dr is I don’t think we should be harassing boys en masse for wondering if they could maybe be dykes

#fae.txt #discourse #? I guess #old as fuck discourse #a reflection on ice cold twitter takes #long post #this is probably not super well worded but I’m tired so whatever

[indigenous-gender]

It’s so wild to me how these were some of the first gender concepts, that I was aware of when I was learning about my own gender identity, and now it seems like primarily online, but really just white queers in general, have totally thrown these terms in the garbage can, and refuse to recognize that any of these people exist. It’s really really hypocritical coming from the crowd that says that you can be whatever you want and you deserve respect no matter what, but if you dip your toes into saying I’m a man and I like Use the lesbian label or I’m a lesbian and I was like men still because I think that historically bisexual’s were still part of the lesbian community, and like anybody that identifies with more than one label for some reason is like totally invalidated and it’s fucking ridiculous like it doesn’t make sense to me that the queer community is supposed to be so excepting and doesn’t like to police anyone’s labels, and then the second that you identify with Then it’s wrong and it’s not allowed and you’re breaking the rules and they can so easily just say oh you’re not up a real trans person you’re not allowed to identify as trans but the same time will be like oh well you have to be trans your ear trans against your will. That’s the definition of trans blah blah talking bullshit like you shouldn’t be forcing terms on anyone and you shouldn’t be taking germs away from anyone Gender queer by gender. These are some of the first things that I became aware of when I was learning about my own gender, and suddenly, and last few years, it’s just become so crazy to to say that you identify with being both a man and a woman like what is so wild about that there’s nothing radical or crazy that I would identify with more than one gender, but it’s quite literally because of most of the white trans community has internalized bioessentialism and they genuinely think that Even if they don’t subscribe to bioessentialism necessarily, they still think that there are fundamental differences between men and women that means that you can’t cross the barrier you’re either one of the other you’re not allowed to be both witch mind. You is literally recycled by phobic rhetoric that you have to choose like that’s so ridiculous to me.