#I don't care HOW oppressed they are in relation to other LGBT people! they still face oppression!

[beevean]

And another thing!!!! (My mind is occupied by this topic a lot this morning lol) The people who put those headcanons on the characters only focus on the Fun UwU Quirky parts of being neurodivergent. The amount of times I've seen stories or art of the tremendous drawbacks having such neurodivergencies brings with it can be counted on one hand. It's always the "omg Sonic is so hyperactive he's totes ADHD he likes running and struggles to sit still!!" in a So Cute So Silly So Relatable way, never the "you cannot get anything done despite mentally SCREAMING at yourself to get up and do your tasks, you think everyone in your life can't stand you, you insert your foot in your mouth every time you speak, you can't finish a task to save your life" way. It truly makes me wonder how people who give every single character a Fun Quirky So Silly neurodivergency think, especially when they only focus on the endearing parts.

"If "neurotypicalness" is associated ... can have a personality too." It's exactly this! Why would I want to go around saying I'm straight if everyone immediately declares me a boring bigot because of that? Why would I tell anyone I'm not sure if I'm neurodivergent or neurotypical if the latter will immediately make me come off as someone with zero interests who is a dick to anyone even slightly off what is considered "the norm"? I wouldn't say people stating these things are directly harmful, especially because in real life people simply do not think and act like on Tumblr, but I do firmly believe that it is simply hurtful for people who fall in the 'bad' categories. (But then again, I am also firmly convinced that Tumblr has a general mindset of "They hurt us first so now we get to hurt them back, for justice!!!", completely ignoring they have no idea who the recipients are in their daily life and what they stand for, so...)

Also I was actually thinking the other day of the Sonic Chest Fur theory, and... Sample size of four people. Good job, y'all! I honestly think that claiming that you can give your Forces Avatar chest fur regardless of gender is a more solid claim about how chest fur is not male-exclusive than stating that Sonic is Totes Trans because he lacks it. And also, that argument has never stopped anyone from headcanoning Shadow and Silver as trans.... I'm curious what would happen if you brought up the Sonic Has No Chest Fur argument to state those two cannot be, were it not that I think it'd be equal to throwing a bomb straight into a hornet's nest.

I don't know what else to add, we're on the same page 😂

There is definitely a tendency to cutesify autism and ADHD here. I have neither, so I'd rather not insist too much and leave others to speak out, but even I know that both come with massive challenges. That's why they're called disorders! They don't have to be life-debilitating ofc, they're not curses, but I can imagine how some ND people might be irritated by others, especially fellow NDs, simply ignoring their struggles because they're not appealing. Ngl I'd find a realistic portrayal of Sonic with ADHD much more refreshing than the usual "hehe he's hyperactive he's just like me fr fr <3"

(at least, when I see people headcanon a character as for example having BPD, they do acknowledge the difficulties that come with the disorder)

And yes, I do realize that Tumblr is not real life. Apparently 90% of people here are both ND and LGBT+, the complete opposite of real life. I get it. I don't want to come off as "wanting to be oppressed so bad" or whatever, at this point I'm too old to care. But still, young people are being shaped on Tumblr and especially on its nastier little sibling Twitter, and I don't want teens to internalize that cishet NT people are boring shells of human beings at best and asshole bigots at worst.

Personally I'd sooner headcanon that Shadow and Silver are a different kind of hedgehog compared to Sonic - they both have fur and eye markings, plus a similar eye shape, it's interesting. I also have... opinions on how generally trans Sonic is portrayed, but eh, I think I'm being problematic enough :V

#sonic the hedgehog #important #i didn't know about the chest fur in forces! #the avatar can also crossdress without issue #forces secretly based

[flynnardkuwata]

...you know?  maybe there wouldn’t be ace discourse in the first place if we ALL just, like.  collectively accepted that sexual attraction =/= sex drive/the desire to do it

like, I see so many people arguing that demisexual shouldn’t be a thing because “””that’s just normal people lol,””” but like.  no?  not actually wanting to do the deed isn’t the same thing as not being into someone?  like yeah buddy, I usually don’t wanna really screw someone until I get to know em a little better either, but that does NOT necessarily mean I’m not looking at em and thinking “man, if I knew you a little better, I would absolutely tap that.”  therefore I do not ID as demisexual!  ever thought maybe demisexuals don’t fucking operate like that?  ever thought of actually asking one, instead of jumping right into “lol cringe @ this speshul snoflake”?

(and hell, even if that’s what they DID mean when they call themselves demi, like...okay?  labels are entirely up to the person to decide?  how about we stop being freaks about what a person calls themself?  how about we stop being weird about people’s sex lives because we care too much about cultivating a “””pure””” community where no asexies will “””take our resources””” or whatever the hell imaginary thing exclusionists get their drawers in a twist over?)

anyway just stop being stupid pls

#asexual #aromantic #demisexual #ace discourse #anti-exclusionist #flynn noises #I think a lot of it's also respectability politics too #which is also fucking moronic #you think LGBTphobes really fucking care who is or isn't considered LGBT? they think we're all weird and evil #and that INCLUDES people on the ace/aro spectrum!!! they also face discrimination! shit like corrective r*pe happens! #I don't care HOW oppressed they are in relation to other LGBT people! they still face oppression! #they! are! LGBT! #anyway

[lgbtpolitics]

Do you think comparing two different types of oppression is bad? Not like ranking them but explaining say homophobia to a straight woman by relating it to her experiences of sexism. I just see a lot of people saying its bad but I don't get why.

I don't personally think its inherently bad, it just depends how you go about it. I think primarily people understand each other by trying to relate their experiences. I certainly don't think thats a bad instinct. As you said it can help people see what is happening with a different group if they can see what is happening to their own group. It can also work the other way (probably less common) I know this guy who, when I met him was convinced that racism just wasnt a big deal (he was a person of colour) he just thought it only existed in tiny fringe groups and just had no baring on life. But, as he got to know me, and we studied physics so theres a fair amount of sexism, and he could see the differences in how people treated me vs him and the other guys in ways which were not overtly like "I hate women", and me and him talked about these things a lot, and that kind of helped him understand how he had experienced racism in more subtle ways, and how it does impact on peoples lives, including his that he hadn't necessarily picked up on because its always been a part of his life. So yeah, systems of oppression are similar to each other in a lot of ways and I dont think we need some kind of blanket ban on comparing them.

Having said that, I think there are two things we should be careful with. The first is assuming different systems of oppression always work the same, and the same rules should always apply. You see a lot of people saying like "If you wouldnt say it about x group dont say it about y group" which is like... yeah I get where you're coming from but its not necessarily always right. An example of which is I saw the other day someone asking why it is acceptable for black men to talk specifically about racism from white women, but if a white woman talked about sexism specifically from black men that would be racist. And it make me pause, and actually although the tone of the question seemed in bad faith, i dont think asking yourself and others these questions is a bad thing really. But the answer to that is that sexism and racism aren't the same. White women and white men do, generally speaking, express racism in different ways, so it merits talking about. Whereas black men, to my knowledge, do not express sexism in distinctly different ways to white men. So theres really no reason to aim criticisms of sexism at black men in general, other than a racially motivated sentiment. And I think its important that we keep in mind that there are differences, and you cant always just apply the same rules.

The second thing I think we should be mindful of is moving from comparing oppression, to leveraging oppression. So like, you should support equality for people with no strings attached. If they themselves are problematic, centre the actual problem in criticisms of them. This is similar to what I was saying about that daft comic: its not aimed at promoting empathy for other causes by explaining a connection with homophobia, its making out that the root problem is the caring about gay rights in itself. Its saying dont care about being accepted for being lgbt until every other issue is solved.

I think this stems from (and Im about to go on a tangent not directly related to the question so feel free to skip this but), this sentiment of like "We should care more about people who are more oppressed and start from there" and whilst that's a nice sentiment and all, practically it ignores several issues. A) Its basically impossible to determine who is the "most oppressed", in some scenarios there is clearly someone who experiences more oppression but its not some kind of tangible line, like yes working class single mothers are more oppressed than middle class gay couples but, there are also gay working class single mothers, so this kind of "class politics should outweigh homophobia" just doesnt really work B) it assumes there is like no correlation between more acceptance for middle class gay people and more acceptance for working class gay people and I hate that idea with a passion. The sentiment that drives this kind of mentality is effectively that some oppression cancels out other oppression like this idea of gay acceptance doesnt help people financially so its irrelevant to working class people. And as a working class gay woman I do actually take offense to this. Would more acceptance of homosexuality have solved my atrocious education at my underfunded school, my shower that hardly worked, my parents always being at work... Well, no, but it would have helped my constant fear of being discovered to be a lesbian. It might have stopped me from obsessively dating boys and developping no understanding of how to tell if I like someone which I still havent really worked out. It might have helped me to have friends that I felt actually knew me. It might have stopped me from becoming weirdly secretive about stuff that doesnt even matter because I'm just accustomed to lying to people in my life. The inference of believing gay acceptance doesnt help working class gay people is effectively saying "Well shes too working class to experience homophobia, maybe when shes richer she'll care about gay rights". And yeah I do think that is reductive and insulting. I believe people have some kind of good intentions but really it leaves me entirely cold.

[lgunity]

1)Thanks so much for this blog. Finally some sane people in the alphabet soup community. I'm a lesbian, I'm still in the closet. I honestly feel like ending my life because I don't belong within the LGBT community or with straight people. Both are extremely misogynistic and homophobic towards lesbians. Some gay men literally treat lesbians the same way straight people do, they always need to go into oppression olympics with us. They think we have it easier because straight men see us as walking

2)pornograohy and treat us as nothing but sex object for their gaze. It's fucked. I got into a fight with a bunch of gay men telling me that lesbians have it easier and that being raped and forced into marriage is better than being killed. I told them neither of us have it easier, we suffer the same but in different ways. They of course didn't listen and told me to "suck some dick" and threw some misogynistic phrases at me. I'm sick of bisexual women thinking that not dating them for whatever             

3)reason is biohobic. Even if it was, I still have the right to turn you down for whatever reason. Lesbians don't owe bisexuals a date or sex, many bisexuals are lesboohobic. I'm beyond sick of trans people telling lesbians to suck cock. No. I'm a female homo, it's not possible. Conversion therapy at its finest. But the more they push this, the more likely they're going to eradicate themselves. And then you have the typical heterosexuals telling me that lesbians need a "good dicking" or that

4)lesbians sex isn't real sex or whatever. On top of all of this, I never had a girlfriend (I'm 18) and I feel like I'm never going to get one because of the non existent dating pool and I hate dating apps. I was I was straight, I'm going to fucking die a single virgin that everyone hates when I come out to new people. Fuck my life. I want to end it all.

anon, i’m so sorry you feel so alienated because of lesbophobia from so many groups/people. that is definitely something a lot of us can relate to so i can’t tell you things are better than they actually are.

however, i will say, don’t give up. eighteen is very young and while it’s totally normal to feel scared and left out, please remember that lesbians are typically more understanding of women not having a huge amount of sexual/relationship experience by the time they’ve left college. many lesbians live in communities and under circumstances where it’s difficult or impossible to come out or date and many lesbians have sex for the first time when they’re much older - many in their 30s or 40s even.

you have so much time and so much to do in life. work on everything else, develop your interests and any career goals you may have. if you’re already balancing school and work, it will be much more difficult, but see if you can do something on the side that is only for you and helps you unwind, away from the anxieties of social media - maybe learn to play a musical instrument, or paint or journal? a sport if that’s what you like. just some suggestions, you’ll know what suits you best.

and this is something i’ve probably said before on this blog but in a very strange way and without us asking for it or finding it pleasant, the whole current “debate” around whether lesbians deserve the right to choose our partners free of coercion, has forced many of us to reassess how much one-sided labor we’ve been doing for people, just on the assumption that they do care about us as human beings. we’ve taken minimum basic respect for us from the wider community for granted, but we’re the ones who got taken for granted. as a lesbian resisting the combined liberal and conservative lesbophobia, i’ve found a lot of clarity and confidence, even if it’s not always fun. not to slip into “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” rhetoric - just a reminder that a certain bleakness is normal when you realize a truth that most people are oblivious to. your sense of self is probably already very strong. this is really good and important even if you have to stay in the closet for the foreseeable future.

connect with other lesbians. i know the online dating scene is headache-inducing, you have my sympathies. either way, cultivate friendships with lesbians here if irl is impossible. and it might seem miraculous or something that only happens to other lesbians, but someday you can meet someone and be able to go out with her and be intimate with her without having to compromise on your boundaries or your politics. there’s a lot of lesbians who feel pretty much the same way as you do and more are starting to talk openly about it.

i also suggest talking to a counselor or therapist, but see if you can find a female professional who is not a lesbophobe - feel free to message me or any other mod if you want us to find out someone like that in your area, if you want.

live, and live as well as you can. be a selfish lesbian who puts herself first, since the world has had enough doormat lesbians. take care.

- Mod Jia

[altbpd]

I have such mixed feelings when it comes to hets and Love Simon and maybe it's because I labeled myself straight until not so long ago (can I say label? IDK. I considered myself straight. I'm not.), but...While they surely can relate to this movie and these characters in some ways, I don't believe they fully understand some situations. Like, I don't think I do either, and here's why: I understand the fear of being outed and I sometimes feel so afraid when I think about what that would mean (1/9)

for me, but also, at the same time, no one knows, no one assumes, no one cares. I have full control over it, and I know some people don’t. So my fear of being outed is pretty much hypothetical. So, yeah, for a het… even as an empath, it’s a stretch to say that you feel the same thing they do if you’re not going through a similar thing… listening is a very important part of the process and some of them (hets) aren’t ready to have an honest dialogue. A lot of them get defensive when they’re called out for some homophobic actions or fetishization… Most of them don’t realize it, or deny it by finding ways to “relate”, finding queer friends both online and in rl, and shipping queer characters. The reason I said I have mixed feelings is that I did originally believe some should stop saying that Love Simon isn’t for straight people… I believe the target audience are queer people. BUT. What queer people should take from this movie is very much different from what straight people should take. This is a movie straight people can learn so much from. They can see on the big screen how some of their behavior can impact queer people around them… it can open their eyes in a way most of the media they consume nowadays can’t. Learning to understand someone’s else’s feelings and looking at things from different perspective other than your own isn’t the same as “I know how that feels” and a lot of people don’t get that.

(sorry, i took A LOT of what you said out because i have just… really bad anxiety about having big things/too many words/too many pictures on my blog, and I didn’t want to end up impulsively deleting it before you were able to see my answer. but i did read it all and am NEVER trying to purposely edit your words or anything it was just gonna drive my anxiety up the wall if i posted it like that, im sorry) my answer is below the cut

I think Love Simon is for everybody. I can’t speak for all, but I definitely think anybody can take something away from it if they want to. I think it’s important for anybody to see that holding somebody’s secret above their head and using it as debt is harmful, hurtful and never gets you what you want.

although I am a gay teen, not out and had to struggle through high school with my parents not knowing my sexuality, I found it hard to relate to simon a lot of the time. I didn’t have/don’t have a lot of what he has. but I still recognize the movie/book’s importance for a lot of viewers, and I still related to things simon struggles with.

what I’m really saying in my post and this answer, is that you can’t… tell other people what to and not to take away from a book or movie. this movie is one of the first lgbt heavily anticipated movies targeted towards teens. people are allowed to be excited about it and just because it doesn’t relate to the majority, doesn’t mean its hype is invalid.

I think what bothers me the most is straight people shutting down/talking over lgbt individuals when they express their opinions. the lgbt community isn’t anti-straight, we don’t hate people because of their sexuality but we do hate hets trying to act like they’re the ones being oppressed because one (1) film wasn’t all about them. they don’t have to be interested, they don’t have to like it. but do not tell lgbt individuals how to feel about a movie targeted towards them or twist the things that make this movie lgbt into something generic that “everybody feels”. 

#alt answers #love simon #lgbtq #anon ask #anonymous

[queerchristianaffirmations]

Not lgbt related, but at my church they were talking about how the wife should be submissive to the husband in all ways, and I found it kind of disgusting. It seems like most Christians are sexist, homophobic, etc (no offense to you, of course). I don't want to marry a Christian man if that's what he believes, and I'm not sure I really want to be a Christian anymore at all. Not that God doesn't exist. Besides, I've never had a say in if I actually wanted to be a Christian. Any advice?

My dude I’ve been there. I too have had to sit through a Bible study about “women submitting to husbands” and then be shamed when I tried to have a conversation about why that’s kinda crappy. Even Gandhi said “I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ. So I think a lot of believers feel similarly.

Here’s my advice- build your faith not around a church, but around a relationship with Christ. Make prayer and worship the base for a while, worry about scripture and making all the pieces fit later. Hopefully you’ll someday find peace with scripture (I’m getting there) but it’s important to remember that if you build your faith on reason or on other people, it’s surely going to fall. Religion is called “faith” for a reason. (Although there’s lots of evidence of science and faith going together, I just mean logic of scripture shouldn’t be your focus) 

A couple other things to remember about scripture- it’s contradictory and here’s why. To say that Jesus and the apostles were writing for all people all times would be denying their humanity. Yes scripture is God breathed but it was God breathing through his most precious creations, human beings, who live in a real time and setting that they’re influenced by and writing specifically for. If you’re going to pick at verses, you can “prove” anything is biblical. You have to look at whole themes throughout the Bible and pray to understand sometimes what is a product of time and society and what is for us today. The Bible, in all it’s contradiction, calls us to interpret for ourselves!

Romans 14:22 says “the faith that you have, keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the one who has no reason to pass judgement on himself for what he approves”. And if we look at the themes of the Bible, what I see is Jesus coming to liberate the marginalized and oppressed. From the beginning God chose the Israelites, by no means the strongest largest nation to be his chosen people and he never gave up on them and sent his son to live as a human and eat with the shunned and oppose those who tried to shame in the name of God and enforce how little God cares about economic or any other standing. I believe in a theology of love and liberation and I believe the Bible is full of stories of real people who were still growing in faith. “For whatever scriptures were written before we’re written for our learning, that we through the patience and comfort if the scriptures might have hope” Romans 15:4 

 I hope that helps you! I’ll be praying for you if you don’t mind! Know that no matter what theology you follow or don’t follow, God loves you and so do I! Have a great day kiddo! 

 -mod sarah

[cottagecrowe]

It's not the same. Lgbt people share common struggles. If ace people have any unique oppression at all (they don't, a huge degree of what you guys talk about is misogyny-related and affects women as a group, or is to do with rape culture & affects everyone) it's not related to same-sex love. L, g, b and t are - the first 3 for obvious reasons, t because for the last many decades trans people even in straight relationships were vulnerable to anti-gay laws.

Guys I’m,,, so sorry to tell you,,, really it is quite tragic,,, Aspecs don’t face any oppression unless it is,,, A Specific Kind Only,,, There are no Levels to Unlock,,, It’s just been one thing this whole time,,, How could we be so blind how could we not have seen,,, Especially You, You CisHets,,, G o d,,,

In other words, anon, the amount of ignorance you have, willful or otherwise, is both laughable and disgusting. CisHet Aspecs may be CisHet, but they are LGBT first and foremost, because they do not benefit from any privileges that non-aspec CisHet people benefit from.

So, yes, many times that DOES mean they face anti-gay oppression in many forms. Be it from religions (gee! Like a lot of gay people face phobia from! Golly who could’ve imagined THAT?!), their families, or total strangers denying them health care, denying them some other kind of right, threatening/going through on corrective rape, a romantic partner abusing them in some way when/if they come out to them, a romantic partner leaving them when/if they come out to them, threatening them harm, threatening to kill them, actually doing so, or pushing them towards self harm/suicide.I’m sure @feministingforchange , since I am on mobile most of the time, would like to add her comments and add links to posts as well?

But all that being said, the suggestion that facing those other kinds of oppression Does Not Make You LGBT Because You’re Not Experiencing THIS Oppression (which isn’t even true in the first place), is unbelievably disgusting. And acting like those things don’t even have a HAND in anti-gay oppression is just… unbelievably wild. Wow. Rape Culture doesn’t have anything to do with homophobia? Or Transphobia? Gee, anon, that suggestion sure is a bold statement. What the fuck. At this point I’m starting to wonder if you see people as LGBT only if they’re “Oppressed Enough”, and not based on how they identify in the first place. Not to mention there’s an entire OTHER discussion to be had over this whole suggested “you don’t face True Oppression tm unless people made LAWS against you.” That’s basically what you’re saying, and you’re erasing so many people, LGBT or not’s, oppression that way. Autistic people, for example. I literally reblogged a post on this topic, and if I weren’t on Mobil 99% of the time, I’d link it. But just because I can’t currently link it doesn’t change the fact that saying/believing that is still truly ignorant and disgusting. Every bit of this is disgusting. Please block me if you can’t even be brave enough to come off anon and have a polite discussion with me. That goes for you, and anyone else in your wake. I turned off anon once, and I’m more than happy to do it again, cause a lot of you Oh, So Brave people “Standing Up for What You Believe In” sure did shut up real fucking fast when I did that. You brave souls.

#aphobia #long post #tw #abuse #suicide #rape #selfharm #a hope those are the proper way to write tw tags #if not someone feel free to let me know and I'll change them!! #anon #answered #Istfg you guys astound me tbh