#I don't rly check on Tumblr as often anymore | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wachtelspinat · 4 months

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Hey ! I’ve been seeing your art going around since your midnight crew stuff and I just recently stubble across your tumblr, thank to your beautiful overwatch art for our beloveds junkers ! I’ve been scrolling through your account and read about your experience of being a former graphic designer who is a doctor now. And damn. I can’t emphasize how much I admire you, especially as someone who is struggling really hard to choose between 2 careers paths ( with one of them being art related ). This is why I was wondering if you would be open to talk about how and why you switched from art to medecine ? Especially because most of the time I feel it happens more the other way around ? ( If it’s too personal just ignore this ask + sorry if you already talked about it before )

hey ! no worries, i don't expect ppl to scroll through my tumblr to find an answer for a question they might have. first of all thanks for your nice words, means a lot <3

i switched from art to medicine because my early 20-something-self was even more anxiety-ridden than my present-self, and being in art school and having to "perform" regularly was a nightmare. i'm talking about a time in which i was so scared of being perceived that i often skipped grocery shopping, just so i could avoid being around people. so like, pitching art related projects to peers and profs was eeh... especially because art is so personal oh my god. i still hate it when someone tries to sneak a peek while i'm drawing, makes me wanna throw my sketchbook and myself off the bridge. anyways so i always felt a 110% inadequate (plus i got a gf during that time who was so good to me and tried to get me out of my funk on multiple occasions (she was and still is an artist and has now a career as a freelancer and i'm rly proud of her) but i couldn't see that because i just compared the two of us all the time and sabotaged any attempt she made for having fun with drawing with her) that i sat down at some point and asked myself if i could do this any longer, and i came to the conclusion that no, it really kills me rn.

what made me go into the health sector? i don't even know anymore, i think it was a mixture of "i loved biology, esp. the human body in school" and "my mum is an icu nurse and talks a lot about hospitals, maybe i should check it out"... it was not a well thought through decision, which is so funny because studying medicine was a hell of a meatgrinder ride (also my anxiety and self hatred? still there, but now i wasn't judged anymore because of my art but instead being called a dumb idiot collectively with all the other students because nobody likes med students) and for some reason i was able to get through that despite it not being my passion at all, but i couldn't stand up for myself in art school. i don't even know if i could work through it nowadays, but the good thing is i don't have to ask myself this question anymore, because being a doctor pays the bills, and ever since i left art school i was able to just draw without consequence. which is nice to a degree, my artistic output is not tied to the means of generating money. on the other hand... idk, in another life with more confidence and less worries, i'd love to be some sort of character designer T_T

so yeah that's basically it. at some times i cherished my career decisions, at other times i regretted them deeply, worst thing is i know it has a lot to do with personality, but the fact that we can't change who we are with a blink of an eye gives me the framework to think that the path i took was ok. as in. things happened for a reason and maybe i'm just not cut out for that kind of work. you have to be aware of the conditions of a job to decide if you are up for it. because being an artist doesn't end with "just draw". i myself had an unrealistic view of the job back then too. and the fact that i could not seperate between personal aspects and "doing a job here" was crucial.

yeah, idk if this is helpful at all. i think the one thing that is super important here is to have a realistic view on the conditions of work you are about to head into, and i know this is mostly very difficult to aquire. because unless you really work in a sector there is often no way to fully grasp the situations you can find yourself in (this applied for me also in the health sector, which made me fall into a depression a year ago, but what do you do after you spent 6 years of studying :') ). doing internships and just trying to get to know a lot of things really helps. and - idk how old you are, but if you're really young: it's ok to switch careers at some point. it's even ok to do so when you are older (trying to end on a positive note here because it feels like i just said a lot of depressing things... like don't get me wrong i like my job, the conditions are just fucked up, and again my personality prevents me from switching again but it's also not that easy in germany, BUT it's a valid thing to do, being versatile is good! just... make sure you don't end up with a job that you absolutely hate because that kills it all)

#LONG #sorry #i'm rambling #being an adult is hard and it never ends being a work in progress

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cheolbooluvr · 2 years

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Hi Chris!! I saw seventeen yesterday and I was so endeared by Seungkwan I just??? My bias is Chan but there was something about Seungkwan that made me go 🥺 Anyways I hope that you are doing well and had an amazing time at your own concert! I want to check in more often but life is pretty crazy right now. I just now saw your post about not having written anything in a while and wanted to say that you don't ever have to apologize for not writing. You don't owe that to anyone, and if you miss it, you will find your way back to it. I love to do art but because of work, school, and volunteering I haven't picked up my paintbrushes since March. That doesn't make me any less of an artist (or a person, for that matter) and the same goes for you. It has taken me a long time to realize that, but I am much happier in knowing that my paintbrushes will still be there when I'm ready to use them again. Remember to drink water, take time for yourself, and breathe. I'm always rooting for you ❤️ - 🧸 anon

HAI OMG

i hope you had so much freaking fun at the concert!! they are so amazing to see live, and i just keep thinking about how what you see online is exactly what you get. seungkwan is so funny and truly an amazing performer (as they all are of course), but smth abt him hits different !! i'm so happy you got to go <333

i came out w an even stronger love for cheolboo (maybe too strong for cheol), but also a stronger love for wen junhui, which seems to be a common theme for people LOL also, it's like freaking crazy to think that seungkwan and vernon are my age?????? like how are we the same year and i'm over here doing what while they get to stand on stage in front of thousands of ppl !??!?! anyways. un freaking real.

and it's okay!! i totally get how crazy life can be--it's been such a whirlwind for me since i've come back from korea. i think i've traveled so much in one year that it's nearing the amount i've traveled in my life.

i really really really miss writing, and i have so many wips i want to work on, esp social club!! i think now that i'm done w my last leg of travel for the year, things will (hopefully) settle down, and i'll get some time to work on those. i think the concert helped with inspo as well, so we'll see where the wind takes me ^^

but thank you for your support, and for your kind words <3 i think this is a wonderful reminder, not only for me, but for anyone who reads this!! i think it's really easy to feel obligated to post something, and there's an immense guilt i feel when i don't T-T that's why i don't rly come on tumblr anymore akfajfladj but hopefully i'll be back soon with something good for you to enjoy! thank you again for this message :((( i'm rooting for you, too!!! i hope you'll get to do art soon. i, too, am an art lover, and actually i've been doing more of that bc it's actually an easier outlet for me than writing. but it'll come back to me soon !!

be well and safe <3

#cheolbooluvr asks #🧸 anon

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