#I don't think I'll ever move on and honestly that doesn't bother me at all

[lucy90712]

hii

pls could write a Jude Bellingham x reader YN is Jobes best friend since they were like 5 and YN moved next door, she always had a crush on Jude and everyone could tell but he always turned her down and then he sees her tryna move on and he’s like what’d u think ur doing

WC: 2.8k Ever since I was born pretty much I've known the Bellinghams. When I was born Jude was a little over a year old and then Jobe was born about a year after that. Our parents were friends before any of us were born and they lived just down the road from each other so all of us have been around each other pretty much from the day we were born. As we grew up I only became closer with both Jude and Jobe but as we've gotten older I have gotten closer to Jobe as he's around more and I just feel like I have more in common with him than I do with Jude as he's older so he can always do things before we can. 

One of the other reasons I think I'm not as close with Jude is because I've had a crush on him for a while, when he moved away to go and play in Germany my feelings for him started to change. It seemed like he became a man all of a sudden, he wasn't the Jude I used to know from when we were in our early teens he was different, all of a sudden he was the most attractive man I'd ever seen. Whenever he came home all I could do was admire him and the muscles he'd clearly been working hard to get as well as his face which just seemed so perfect. It was obvious to everyone that I has a crush on Jude even Jobe made fun of me a few times for fawning over his brother. There came a time when Jude sat me down and tried letting me down gently saying that he thought we were better off as friends which hurt a hell of a lot at the time but I've since got over that disappointment. 

Sadly I never got over my feelings for Jude instead I just distracted myself with other guys who were nowhere near as good as Jude and honestly half of them I didn't even really like but it was only a bit of harmless flirting I never went any further as I just didn't want to. I know one day I'll meet a guy I love as much if not more than Jude and then I'll be happier than I am now pining over a guy that doesn't even like me back. It's been a while since I've seen Jude as he's been so busy with the end of the season which has actually helped me quite a lot as not seeing him and trying not to pay much attention to things he posts has kept him out my mind. All of this has been on purpose too as my birthday is today and I didn't want to only be thinking about Jude on my birthday. 

With it being my 18th birthday all my friends have convinced me to go out clubbing with them. They've all turned 18 already and have been out quite a few times and they want me to join them. There has been times they've tried to convince me to get a fake id but I refused as I'm not bothered about going out plus it wouldn't work anyway as quite a few people here know who I am because of my friendship with Jude and Jobe so I never bothered. Sadly Jobe can't come and enjoy my birthday with me as he's not 18 yet but I promised I'd spend the rest of the day with him as he said he didn't want to not see me on my birthday. We've spent all of our past birthdays together and I couldn't be the one to ruin that tradition plus I think I'll enjoy spending the day with Jobe more than I will then going out. 

~~~~~~~~~~

As it's my birthday I wanted to sleep in for a bit longer than I usually would but that didn't happen as the sound of my phone notifications woke me up. When I looked at it my home screen was flooded with notifications of texts and Instagram posts from my friends. I answered a few texts before there was a knock on my bedroom door and my mum came in with breakfast for me which she'd spent her morning making. She had to go to work but she promised that she'd give me my presents later before I go out which didn't bother me as I don't need any presents I just want to enjoy my birthday. 

Once my mum had left I went back to looking at my phone and replying to people, at some point I went on Instagram and saw that Jude had tagged me on his story and I don't think I've ever clicked on a notification so quickly. He had posted a picture of the two of us from when we were younger covered in mud from where we'd been playing outside in the rain with a caption wishing me a happy birthday. It made me feel all warm inside that he bothered to post something instead of just texting me as he doesn't post much that isn't to do with football. 

After I'd caught up on my notifications I got myself out of bed and got ready so I could go and see Jobe. He wanted me to go to his so I text him just before I left the house so he'd be expecting me. Seeing as its only a few minutes down the road I was happy to walk plus it's such a nice day that I wanted to get outside and soak up the sun even if it's only for a few minutes. When I arrived I didn't even get the chance to knock on the door before it swung open and Jobe tackled me straight into a hug. Jobe has always been like this with me we are just so close that we are always excited when we get to spend time together especially on special days like birthdays. Eventually he let go of me and allowed me inside but he quickly covered my eyes as he said he had a surprise waiting for me in the living room. I was a bit nervous as you never know what a Jobe surprise will be but I had a bit of faith that he wouldn't do anything I'd hate on my birthday. 

It felt like we walked forever but eventually we stopped and Jobe instructed me to open my eyes. It took a second for my eyes to adjust but when they did the first thing I saw was a smiling Jude sat on the sofa. If it were possible my jaw would've hit the floor as Jude wasn't supposed to be home he was supposed to still be in Germany for another week but there he was and I definitely wasn't seeing things. 

"Happy birthday y/n/n" Jude said 

"What are you doing here I thought you still had to be in Germany" I questioned 

"You didn't think I'd miss your 18th did you plus I may have lied to be able to surprise you" he said 

"I'm so happy you're here it's been ages since I've seen you" I said 

He got up and gave me a hug before ushering me to sit down while him and Jobe ran off somewhere. They came back a minute later holding far too many presents which they piled on my lap so that I couldn't move anymore. I tried telling them off for getting me so many unnecessary presents but they insisted that it was necessary as in their words you only turn 18 once. Seeing as they were both so excited about it I opened the presents in whatever order they agreed on which did involve a bit of arguing but we got there in the end. They got me so many nice things that made me feel so loved but also a bit bad as I could never afford to do the same for them. 

"Thank you guys so much I really appreciate everything but you shouldn't have gotten me so much I'll never be able to top or even match that" I said 

"It's ok we don't need you to do anything for us we just love having you around" Jobe said 

"Aww you're going to make my cry" I said 

"Don't cry instead tell me what you've got planned for today" Jude said 

"Well first I'm hanging out with you guys but then my friends convinced me to go out tonight" I said 

"Is it just you and your friends going?" Jude asked 

"Yeah me and I think 3 of the girls the rest can't make it" I said 

"Well I'm coming with you whether you like it or not I'm not letting you go out for the first time without someone to keep you safe" he said super seriously 

"I'll be fine Jude I won't even drink that much" I said 

"I don't care it's not safe for you to be going out with just a few of your friends I promise I'll leave you be I just can't let you go alone" he said 

"Fine you can come but be prepared the girls will go crazy" I laughed 

~~~~~~~~~~

I spent the rest of the day with Jude and Jobe just hanging out like we used to do all the time when we were a bit younger. They even got me a cake which they definitely aren't supposed to eat with their diet but they did and made me promise not to tell anyone. A bit later I had to leave to get ready but not before Jude cornered me to make me promise to text him when I was ready to go and he'd come over so we could go together. I was still anxious about him coming as for one I don't want to get drunk and say something stupid to him but also I didn't want him to be on my mind all night. Tonight was supposed to be the night I get to let go and enjoy myself and maybe find a guy I like to flirt with but I feel like I can't do that with Jude around as my mind will be on him the entire time. I appreciate his concern about me going out but I can handle myself and I'd be fine without him. That being said it's been a long time since I've really spent any time with him so it will be nice to have Jude there. 

Once I was home and getting ready I was texting my friends to get their opinion on my outfit as I don't really know what to wear out. They helped me get it down to two options but once I told them Jude was coming they picked the shorter tighter dress straight away as they know I like Jude so I guess they are being good friends. Seeing as they picked a nice dress I decided to go all out on my hair and makeup too and if I do say so myself I looked pretty good. After I'd done a few touch ups I text Jude to let him know I was ready and headed downstairs to put my shoes on as I knew he'd be a few minutes. 

Jude arrived and honked the horn of his car to get me to go outside (let's just pretend he can drive) so I made my way to the car slowly trying to not fall over with my heels on the gravel of the driveway. Jude must've noticed my struggle as he got out the car and helped me into the passenger side of the car. 

"You look beautiful" he said 

"Thank you" I said feeling my cheeks turn pink 

"You know you don't have to drive if you want to drink we can get an Uber" I said 

"No it's ok I won't drink I'm only going to make sure you and you're friends are ok" he said 

"They're all really excited that your coming I think they might spend more time with you than they will with me" I laughed 

"I won't let them you'll barely notice I'm there" he smiled 

We arrived at the club and true to his word Jude disappeared as soon as I was with my friends although he did instruct me to put any drinks I had on a tab he'd make for me as he didn't want to me pay for anything on my birthday. He'd gone before I could argue with him so I didn't bother I just did exactly what he told me to and got myself a drink before heading to dance with my friends. As I was dancing my friends told me that there was a guy who wouldn't stop staring at me so I managed to sneak a glance in his direction and he was actually really cute. He noticed me looking at him and shot me a smile before making his way over. 

Straight away he complimented me but not just on my outfit which made me let down my guard a little bit as I could tell he was genuinely interested in me. Once he found out it was my birthday he wished me a happy birthday and offered to buy me a drink which I was happy to accept. As we both sipped on our drinks we started properly talking and we just got on like a house on fire. We actually had a few things in common and he was such a nice guy that it was hard not to get along with him. Once we finished our drinks he took me back to the dance floor and we danced together. To begin with he didn't have his hands on me but I grabbed his arms and put his hands on my waist as I was feeling little more confident than usual. 

I was really enjoying myself dancing and laughing with this guy my mind was only thinking about him and not about Jude at all. It's been so long since I've thought about any guy in front of me and not compared him to Jude, it was honestly so nice to have finally found a guy that made me forget about Jude and that clearly had the same feelings that I did. My enjoyment was short lived though as not long after I felt someone grab my arm and pull me away, I was about to punch the person until I got a look at them and realised it was Jude and honestly I still kind of wanted to punch him as he was supposed to leave me be and I was actually enjoying myself. 

He dragged me all the way out of the club and back to the car which is when he finally let go of his grip on my arm and I just stared at him. Neither of us moved nor said anything for a good few moments until I decided I wanted to go back in if he wasn't going to talk but as soon as I turned around he grabbed my arm again and brought me back to face him. Again the staring ensued and I was really starting to get annoyed. 

"What's going on Jude if you aren't going to say anything let me go I was enjoying my time with that guy" I said 

"I can't let you go back in" he said hastily 

"Tell me why then as I'm not going to stand here forever" I said 

"Because I'm jealous ok I don't know why but seeing you with that guy made me realise that I've been lying to myself for a long time I do have feelings for you I've just been trying to tell myself I don't as I don't want to ruin our friendship" he admitted 

"What you have feelings for me?" I questioned in complete disbelief 

"Yeah I do I know that I made it seem like I didn't see you that way but I have had feelings for a while I just didn't want to change things between us or make things awkward with you and Jobe as I know how close you both are but I can't keep lying I want to be with you y/n" he said 

"I think it's pretty clear that I still have feelings for you and I really want to give us a go I know it will be different but let's be honest Jobe’s been wishing we'd get together for ages so I'm sure everything will be ok" I said 

"Then will you be my girlfriend officially?" He asked 

"I would love to" I smiled 

"Now let's go and have some proper fun" he said taking my hand to lead me back inside 

#jude bellingham x reader #jude bellingham imagines #jude bellingham imagine #jude bellingham #football imagine

[luveline]

Shy!reader who’s not fitting in at their new job and is insecure about it? Maybe someone at work is a rude about them being so shy and they come home trying to hide how upset they are. Lots of Eddie comfort? Ily

love you!! hurt/comfort with boyfriend!Eddie being a total love struck fool for you (lightly implied that he can be a bit pervy) ♡ shy(ish)!fem!reader | 1.5k words

Though a cloud has hung over you all day, you still wouldn't change a thing as you push open the door to your new apartment. The first thing you hear is Eddie's voice. He's singing something. He's an okay singer when he doesn't try, amazing when he does, and the sound of his tenor buries itself in your chest immediately. 

You kick off your shoes and meander down the hall, past your small kitchen and into the single bedroom. Sweet to see his clothes next to yours on the rack, his jewellery in the same jewellery box, his hair ties wrapped around your hairbrush and his dirty boxers in the hamper next to your discarded work clothes. 

He stops singing as you get undressed. "Well, hi, pretty girl." 

You roll your eyes but feel a shock of pleasure at his pet name anyways. "Hi, Eds. You okay?" 

"I'm great now. What's the rush?" 

Honestly, you just don't want to be reminded of work anymore. Ever since you started your new job you've felt like an outsider, and getting to come home to Eddie has been the only balm. 

"Sweaty," you say. 

"Want me to run you a bath?" 

It's not a funny joke. You don't have a bathtub. You smile ruefully at him from over your shoulder and set about gathering a set of fresh clothes. 

"Come here?" he asks, putting his guitar to the side of him and spreading his legs. 

You move to stand between them in nothing but your underwear. This close, shyness starts to creep in despite his having seen you completely nude many times by now. You hide your naked tummy behind your bundle of clothes. 

Eddie looks up at you. His knuckle strokes your thigh mindlessly as he asks, "Are you okay? You don't seem like yourself." 

"What do I seem like?" 

"Honestly, you look stressed. Was work okay?"

Even thinking about it makes you feel sick and sad. You plaster a smile on your face and shake your head voraciously, keen to forget all about it. "Work is good! I'm gonna shower, okay? And I'll be back, and you can finish singing that song for me." 

You kiss his forehead. He looks whiplashed as you turn to leave. "I can sing it for you in the shower, if you want?" he calls. 

You giggle. The shower's barely big enough for one person. Still, it's yours and Eddie's, so it's perfect. "Through the door would be perfect." 

He doesn't sing it through the door, though he is humming as he walks past. He stops to say, "I'm gonna make dinner, okay?" 

"Okay! I'm getting out now." 

He's still standing in the hall when you emerge in your pajamas, skin tacky with dampness. You wince when you see him.

"Shit, you scared me!" You laugh to hide how embarrassed you are at having flinched. "What are you doing? Watching me through the gap?" 

He laughs in turn. "S'that what you think of me?" 

"I've caught you doing worse." 

He doesn't balk to his credit, only puts his hands on your shoulders and smiles. "I'm real desperate for a hug, sweetheart. You'll let me have one, won't you?" 

You nod. "Of course I will, why'd you- oh, jeez, you're gonna break my back." 

He squeezes you so tightly your heels lift from the floor. 

He smells nice. You bury your face into his cool neck and breathe him in, hands limp against his back. "You smell good, teddy," you murmur. 

He hugs you with big hands and steel arms, his cheek rubbing against your forehead with an unmistakable forehead. "Sorry for camping you out, babe, just thought you needed one." 

"Pervy behaviour," you mumble. 

He kisses your forehead, your cheek, and then your jaw as he pulls away, cupping your face in his hand naked of its usual rings.

"Come on. You can tell me what's bothering you over dinner." 

He makes dinner, forcing you to sit on the kitchen counter in case he needs any 'emergency' kisses. The frying pan sizzles hot with oil and a spicy smoke rises as he chars chopped tomatoes, sliced onion and spice jalapeño fished from a sticky jar with a fork now held in your hand. The other clutches a wooden spoon.

"I'm not a utensil holder," you say mildly, socked feet swinging. 

Eddie gives the pan a good shake and everything sizzles. "Of course not. You're my gorgeous sous chef. Do you want nacho cheese from the can or-" 

"Yes, please." 

He retrieves the can and clicks the can opener onto the brim. "D'you wanna tell me what's wrong?" 

"I don't want it to ruin the weekend." 

He raises his eyebrows and pries open the can before bringing his eyes to yours. "The more you try not to think about it, the worse it'll get. You know that." 

He's warming the cheese on the stovetop by the time you've worked up the courage to tell him.

"I don't think anyone likes me, at work." 

"Why wouldn't they like you?" he asks. 

He's genuinely puzzled. It makes your affection for him pulse. 

"I heard…" Your grip on the wooden spoon tightens until it hurts. "I heard Maggie and the other girl, Lacey? I heard them talking about me. They- they think I'm stuck up." 

Eddie works the spoon out of your hand gently. "You're not stuck up." 

"Maybe I-" 

"What? You're not stuck up. You never have been. You're the opposite," he says passionately, pushing the contents of the frying pan around, eyes flickering between you and the stove. 

You try to shrug like it doesn't matter. "That's what they think." 

He turns down the heat and ditches the pan to walk into your space, face level with your shoulder. Advantageous, Eddie leans down to kiss your shoulder and stays there. 

"It's not fair," he says into your skin. "They hardly know you." 

"I guess I'm too quiet." 

"You're not too anything," he says, then amends, "besides pretty. And smart, and cool. You're definitely too good for me." 

You bring your arm around his back to stroke the hair from his face. "Don't say that." 

"It's true." 

"It's not true." 

"If they think they know you after two weeks then that's their own problem. But they don't know you. I do, and you're not stuck up." 

"I'm not upset about that," you say softly, though you rub your thumb over his cheek as a thank you anyhow. "It's stupid. I just don't fit in with any of them." 

"Give it time, baby." 

You huff a little frustrated sigh that makes Eddie laugh, his breath hot on your skin. He dots another few kisses over your arm before he pulls back. 

"Give it time," he repeats. "I know it sucks. People tend to assume the worst because people are assholes, but as long as you keep being you? They won't be able to ignore how plain amazing you are, sweetheart, I promise." 

You take his face into your hands. "Thank you." 

He doesn't smile, surprisingly, only stares at you. "My poor girl," he says, frowning. Slowly, the frown turns, and the smile you know and love takes its place. "My shy girl. Nothing is ever easy for you, is it?" 

You smooth your fingers over his cheeks. "You're easy." 

You'd meant for it to come out romantically. As in, you're easy to love, easy to be with, but Eddie starts cackling like a maniac. 

"I am! Totally. I'm a slut for you, babe." 

You're still embarrassed by the time he's finished cooking, a heaping plate of spicy nachos in his hands and a great smile on his face. "Wanna eat these in bed?" 

You wrinkle your nose, though you both know you'll say yes. You always say yes to Eddie. "Will you vacuum after?" 

"Sure will." 

He fulfils his promise and vacuums after. You're so full of cheese that you lie there, giggling when he vacuums your shirt and pants and squirming away when he latches onto your naked tummy. "Don't!"

"Stay still! You have nachos in your belly button." 

You're basically screaming as he wields the vacuum cleaner nozzle at you, enunciating each word, "I do not!" 

"You totally do." 

"Stop, teddy, please!" 

He clicks the vacuum off. "I'm starting to think Morgan and Casey had a point. You're being a total priss right now." 

You laugh and hit him with your pillow. "Shut up." 

"Make me?" 

You smush the pillow over your face to hide your laughter lest he think he's some sort of smooth talker but he must see it, his weight heavy on your thighs as he climbs on top of you. 

Just as you'd wanted, you forget all about work. 

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x reader fluff #eddie munson #stranger things fic #stranger things x reader #stranger things 4 #stranger things #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fic #eddie munson oneshot #eddie munson drabble #eddie stranger things

[braimin]

JSKWKWKA OHNMU GOD YESS BLOODHOUND ZORO UESSSS AND THEN HE'S LIKE. SOOO C9NFUSED ABOUT WHAT HE'S FEELING THAT HE GOES TO CHOPPER CAUSE HE'S SCARED HE'S GOING MADNOR SOMETHING AND LIKE CHOPPER IS LIKE NO YOU'RE NOT INSANE JUST A LITTLE HORNY AND LIKE MAYBE GET THERAPY OR SOMETHING AND ZORO OS LIKE OH THAT'S WHAT THAT IS??? AND THEN HE GOES TO SANJI AND HE'S LIKE "WANNA FUCK?" BUT SANJI IS NOT LIKE THAT SO THEY FIGHT AND NOW ZORO HAS TO LIKE ACTUALLY TRY TO WOO SANJI NOT JUST CAUSE HE WANTS TO FUCK HIM BUT ALSO BECAUSE HE'S GENUINELY IN LOVE WITH THE COOK sory I'll shut up now I took like two energy drinks and I feel like I could fight god

Not him bringing chopper into it 😭✨

Every one already kind of knows how.. weird Zoro can be when it comes to blood and violence. He's not called a demon for nothing you know. That's why his meditation and stuff is so important, he has to work really hard to keep his mind at ease and disciplined.

But when he comes back from the timeskip it's different. He's fairly calm for the most part, but after spending two years fighting every day, all day, his body is so used to battles being drawn out. Zoro comes back stronger so the small skirmishes they have out at sea are barely anything, he can sink a ship with a flick of his sword. And while he does get to enjoy big fights with really strong opponents, they can go weeks without coming across anything.

That alone leaves him keyed up, it makes him pace like a caged dog. But then Sanji gets thrown in the mix and it simultaneously gets better and worse. Because Sanji comes back stronger and their fights are more unpredictable with all their new moves. But he also comes back hotter, and watching this strong pretty boy jump around and get close to kicking his ass really affects him. He toes a very dangerous line when he asks Sanji to spar. It starts to worry him. Despite his years of well trained discipline, he feels like he's starting to lose it.

'Chopper is there a way you could knock me out after fights?' He doesn't bother asking Chopper in private, Zoro says it bluntly in front of him and Robin both. 'What ? Why would I need to do that?'

'I'm worried I'll lose control after one.' That only gets Chopper more panicked, even Robin turns her focus fully to him. 'How so? What's wrong with you?' He's already down at Zoro's leg pulling him toward a chair. Chopper makes him explain, so he tells him about how feels after short fights and how normally it's not a big problem, but lately when Sanji comes to spar with him afterwards he only gets more aggressive and he's starting to have these.. thoughts about him. 'Feels like I wanna eat him.' Is the only way he can put it into words.

'Eat?!' Chopper shrieks. He nods, though he gets the feeling that maybe he shouldn't have explained it that way because Chopper looks like he might pass out. On the other side of the table Robin laughs. 'You know, there's an island where couples bite and scar their partners to 'claim' them. Perhaps you feel something similar to that?'

Zoro raises a brow, 'We're not a couple.' Robin hums and cocks her head like she's thinking. "It is a sexual thing though, correct?' He nods. Chopper calms after hearing that and returns to his chair. ' If that's all it is, then why do you need me to sedate you? Just ask Sanji to help you.'

'Don't want to.' the idea of asking the cook for a favor pisses him off, and he's pretty sure the jerk will turn him down anyway; he's too obsessed with women. 'I can't knock you out after fights just because you get restless and aroused after them, Zoro.' He sighs in response, he honestly should've seen Chopper's refusal coming.

Later he sits in the kitchen alone with the cook and watches him make dinner. He decides he should just bite the bullet and ask. 'Cook.' Sanji doesn't look up from the stove and grunts. 'You ever think about fuckin me?' His whole body goes ridged and he turns slowly to face Zoro.

'What.' Zoro shrugs. 'Like after we spar and stuff. You ever think about it?' Sanji just stares for a long moment. '.. No? Do you?' The swordsman nods, 'Sometimes, yeah.'

'Why are you telling me this?' Zoro leans over the bar, 'Cause I think we should fuck.' He's gets a kick aimed at his head before he can fully finish what he's saying, but it's dodged easily.

'Get out of my kitchen, pervert!'

Zoro is not deterred by that reaction though. He goes to the cook at least once a day and says it again, and he gets the same reaction every time. But he still refuses to give up. He's already swallowed his pride and asked once, so he might as well keep asking. Because the reaction he gets is surprisingly not a total rejection, Zoro has seen Sanji reject a man before and this is different. His ears and neck go red in a way he's never seen, his voice wavers when he yells, and his kicks are weaker than usual. For all intents and purposes, he sounds so half-assed when he turns Zoro down.

Every embarrassed reaction only makes Zoro more interested. He starts making comments about Sanji's appearance and giving little suggestive touches just to watch him blush. And then after a while he realizes that honestly, this is only making his moods after fights worse. Because now Sanji gets all cute and embarrassed when they spar and it really makes Zoro want to sink his teeth in him and crush the cook in his hands. So when he hits on Sanji he aims to be as earnest as possible, so much so that he almost sounds desperate when he propositions the cook. Eventually he starts to see Sanji crack a little, he starts saying stuff back, only small vague responses at first though. But then he says something that Zoro feels like is a perfect opening.

'For fuck's sake Marimo, you're supposed take me on a date before you start saying dumb shit like that. Have some decorum.' Zoro immediately jumps on his chance. 'Okay, where?'

'..Where what?' Sanji pauses. 'Where do I take you on a date?' Zoro is kicked in the stomach before he can really prepare for it, this one is harder than usual.

'Why the fuck should I plan it? You're the one that wants to take me out. Figure it out yourself, Mosshead !' Sanji stomps off ahead of him, but Zoro doesn't mind. This is definitely a step in the right direction. Zoro feels like his end goal is right within reach now.

#zosan #sanji #zoro #one piece #it is infact not right within his reach though #because Sanji is a blushing virgin and thinks you can't have sex unless you love each other #Zoro does find some relief after fights tho #in the form of bullying Sanji and chasing after him to make him blush and squirm #it makes him feel like he's hunting because Sanji fr Runs Away now

[runningpsychic]

Why Goodbye Volcano High resonates with me as...

...a musician

As a musician, it's hard not to immediately identify with Fang. What musician doesn't want their music to be heard, to play at music festivals, and have music as their career. I can wax poetic about how music is about self expression and it doesn't matter if I have an audience, but in the end, I still want my music to be heard, and enjoyed. And Fang is on track to making this their entire career.

Making music has been a minor hobby for me. Even as a kid, I knew there's almost no chance I can make it as a musician, so I went down the route of being a software engineer instead. It's such a minor part of my life that I don't even bother identifying as a musician, I just fool around with instruments. But something about GVH ignited that passion in me, and during my first playthrough, I wrote six songs inspired by themes in the game. Even if I'll stay an amateur, I want to make the most from life, and not let the fire die. (See last section)

All that said, I felt very bad for Fang throughout the game. I know how tough the life of a full time musician is. The industry is just completely screwed. And unlike me, Fang doesn't have another option other than music. The game also drives it in that Fang's friends all have viable career paths, while Fang doesn't. But then, the meteor throws an interesting wrench into this, as now Fang is the only one who achieved their dreams. I'm not sure what the point of this paragraph is besides fuck capitalism, give musicians a living wage.

...an enby

Fang really made me more comfortable about being non-binary. It's amazing seeing enby representation that doesn't feel shoehorned in, or merely an afterthought. It's actually integral to the story. Both Fang and Sage struggle having their parents take their identities seriously, and that mirrors my own fears of not being taken seriously as an enby myself, which leads me to only come out as non-binary to my closest friends, and just remain a binary trans woman to everyone else.

It's honestly amazing to see everyone in Caldera Bay being accepting of the queer cast, like being queer isn't a big deal at all. And that's how it should be. Everyone just calls Fang by their name and pronouns (except their parents of course), and no one seems to mind that Reed brought Alvin to prom. This really makes me feel more comfortable about my identity, and I feel proud to be queer. We don't owe them normal.

...an immigrant

It's so rare to see stories about the intersection of being trans and being an immigrant, so when I read Rosa's story, I felt it must've been written by someone who also has first hand experience. There's a distinct feel from my family that me being trans is a "western" thing, not something they could ever understand. Or worse, that I'm being corrupted by "the west" in some way by moving there. There's so much extended family I can never see again because I'm now an abomination of the family tree.

I find it really difficult to talk about this as I fear I'd be misread as being racist for suggesting that my home country is more queerphobic or something, but that isn't my point. I just want to tell my story, and my experience of being alienated for both culture and gender, in both my origin and destination countries, is one that most folks can't emphasize with. (Venba also does do a good job with the culture part, so you should check that out too)

There's a separate rant about how this brand of queerphobia was actually planted by Christian missionaries and not at all "traditional culture", but that's for another time.

...someone struggling with mental health

I've been obsessed with the game for months since I played it. I went through what everyone calls "Dino depression", but I think it really helped me, and it was the game I needed to play at this moment in my life. I struggle with depression and burnout. At times it can be hard to know what the point is, or feel that any of this is worth it. The first few weeks after the game, I actually felt more depressed, as I thought about what the point of life is if it all is temporary anyway, and what I would do if a meteor were to hit in 8 months. And I was scared, because I felt like my life wasn't under my control. Over time, I've learned to think about it more positively. If life is temporary, then it's up to me to make the most of it. If life has no meaning, it's up to me to make my own meaning. I have amazing friends around me, and I still have tons of music to make.

#goodbye volcano high #gvh #transgender #nonbinary #musician #mental health #ko_op

[nogenderbee]

♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ 𝕐𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕘𝕖𝕣 𝕂𝕒𝕞𝕚𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕣𝕠 ₊˚ˑ༄

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ anon request: Hello hello! Well I really like your writing and I saw the status open so here I go, I would like a reader as Rui's younger brother and the reader is dating Akito S.? Maybe their encounters where Akito goes to the reader's house and finds Rui in the kitchen, or the couple spending time at school and Rui peeking in, I don't know, they're just vague thoughts. Thank you (Regarding the personality of the reader, perhaps asocial/introverted but when he is in confidence he makes it known why he is Rui's brother? Well, that topic is how you want to do it)

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Hi!! Omg I love it!! And I kinda used your ideas because they were simply too good not to use!

It turned out kindaaa long I guess? But I honestly like it so I dearly hope you will too!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ fluff

Affiliation with @virtualbookstore

You looked around the school for Akito during lunch break when you finally found him sitting behind the school.

"Hey Akito!"

He looked up from his phone and stopped munching as soon as he heard familiar voice. Noticing you, small smile spread across his face and he moved aside a bit to make some space for you on bench.

"Yo! Come sit down. Guess what I got today."

"Oh!! Are those my favorites?! Awh did you cooked it all for me~?"

"You're overthinking it. Just give it a taste."

He picked up your favorite food with chopsticks and put it closer to your mouth, hoping you could give him some honest opinion about it. He did baked it tor you after all... not like he's ever gonna admit it tho!

You on the other hand didn't hesitate for a second and opened your mouth, letting the food end on your tongue as you carefully munched it. You didn't wanted to say just "it's good" but you really couldn't fine anything to complain about! It's like he put his heart into making it perfect.

"It's good! Mind if I have another one~?"

"Not at all. I cooked a bit too much so I'd appreciate your help..."

Another piece ended in your mouth. You and Akito really just shared private moment right now, not expecting anyone to interrupt since it's a bit of w secret spot at school.

"Fufu~ Isn't that adorable~?"

Both of you heard familiar voice and immidietly turned your heads towards it. Then only difference was that you had a smile when you saw Rui and Akito looked as if he just saw a ghost.

"Hey Rui! What are you doing here?"

"You've mistaken our bags and put your lunch in my bag. I couldn't let me lil bro starve now, could I?"

You gratefully took the lunch box from your brothers hands, happy at the thought you might share your lunch with your boyfriend as well, as little thanks for cooking something so delicious for you!

"Thanks a lot Rui-!"

"LIL BRO?!"

But your sentence was interrupted by shocked Akito. He should've known! He should've recognized that :3 smilez blue strands and mischievous personality!! How are you so similar and yet so different?! He wouldn't want to suddenly befriebr Rui but he doesn't wish to break with you either...

"That's correct. I guess we never really met each others properly... Well just know that you have my gill support of your relationship! I heard lot's of goods from lil one!"

"Lil o- you have the weirdest nicknames... but thanks..."

"Fufu~ I'll leave you to your little romance moment now. Have fun!"

As fast as he appeared, he disappeared. But it seemed to only bother ginger guy... you just sat down and opened your lunch box as if it was nothing. You even offered him first piece of your lunch before eating.

"Say ah~"

"No thanks."

But he declined and out all of your favorite food from his lunch onto yours, only confirming this specific part was made for you. You sat there a little confused but after noticing his blushing face, you quickly realized what he was trying to avoid and what he was thinking on.

"Is someone shy~?"

"Oh shut it!! I just now see how similar you are..."

"You'd date my brother?"

"Never. You're simply something else... don't overthink it."

"No need to. I already got you figured out~"

You munched on your food, leaving Aktio blushing like crazy as he tried to hide it by turning his face away and focusing one eating his food.

So much happened on a single lunch break... he may end up having trauma for this place... but then again, it is your usual spot to hangout at and he can't really bring himself to stop doing that.

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

@bleachtheidiot @akitosheart @yulikesminori @toyaswif3y @miya-akane - come get your pancakes lover!

#virtualnetwork #project sekai #colorful stage #x reader #project sekai x reader #colorful stage x reader #project sekai colorful stage #project sekai colorful stage x reader #akito shinonome #akito shinonome x reader #project sekai akito shinonome #project sekai akito x reader #rui kamishiro #project sekai rui kamishiro #fluff #project sekai fluff #oneshot #project sekai oneshot

[toomuchracket]

maybe readers ex bf/hookup saw her in a bar or something (with matty) and didn’t know they were together so he was flirting with her, and d word!matty gets jealous and proves to her that nobody else compares to him

someone else also asked Mads. How’d you think D Word Matty would react to see girlies ex boyfriend in public? And the ex would try to talk to her?

you and matty are on a little date night in a bar in shoreditch (a.n. before you all go insane this is not a taylor reference this is a me reference. i miss it there bitch) just sitting with your drinks being all lovey-dovey when you clock a group of people come in and go "oh, for fuck's sake. don't look now. but a guy i used to see just came in". naturally, matty does not listen and turns immediately to look at him like "um i think he's coming over here. do you want me to fight him", and you laugh wearily like "no, it's fine, i'll say hi and be done with it, he's not a bad guy". anyway, the guy comes over and hugs you like "WOW you look fanTASTIC it's been a while since i saw you did you hear i got a promotion at work yeah i'm making six figures now" literally not letting you get a word in edgeways, and matty's literally chewing the inside of his lip to stop it curling in clear disgust for the guy, who turns to him like "oh hey man nice to meet you she and i dated a couple of years ago". you interrupt him like "yeah, years ago, for about a month, before i ended it" - matty's internally like "god i love her" at how easily you bruised his ego - and then you introduce matty (whose hand hasn't left your thigh at all) like "yeah, this is my boyfriend matty, we've just moved in together". matty doesn't even bother standing, just looks the guy up and down before holding out his hand to him - he grips the guy's hand tightly in a subtle warning as he shakes it, before dropping it and putting his arm around you to pull you in for a forehead kiss, which makes you smile sweetly, just calmly doing all he can to make the guy feel inadequate. and it works - the guy stutters something about catching up soon before he scarpers, and you immediately turn to matty like "that was amazing you fucking terrified him", and he's like "good lmao" and downs the rest of his drink before pulling you onto his lap for a makeout. you pull back smirking like "matthew healy, are you jealous?", and matty's like "honestly? yeah. hated seeing him touch you" - you kiss him again like "well, you're the only one i want touching me ever again" and matty's like "good girl. let's go home so i can make you forget all about him. in fact, so i can make you forget about everyone in the world but me", and you go a bit sappy like "babe that's my daily life. but yes please" lol (and you're railed in missionary so you can look at each other whn you get home) <3

#mads muses #mads answers asks #matty asks #fluff asks #d word matty

[hornystiel]

tagged by @thisisapaige thank youu 💙

20 Questions for Writers

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 6 (i'm new to posting my stuff there)

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 33,807

3. What fandoms do you write for? Spn, tho back in the day i wrote weird ass crossover things for some games + comics + films and manga lmao. and none of those were in english

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

dressing down, shotgunning gone right, a couple of firsts, dancing moves, chipped coin

5. Do you respond to comments? i try to respond to all of them, even if with just a thank you, and i cherish them all very much

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? umm for now it's dancing moves i guess? because it's very open and they're nowhere near done resolving their issues

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? a couple of firsts. they will be fine and they will have a lot of sex :3

8. Do you get hate on fics? not that i know of? i mean in the comments everybody is very nice :')

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? WELL. the thing is. i only read and write fics with smut because yolo carpe diem and i love smut and i think when it's well written it adds A LOT to the characters. or i just want to read steamy stuff for my own benefit hehe. anyway yes i write it and it can be anything really, but usually it's on the verge of desperate and they're very obsessed with each other. i'm also a monsterfucker and love wing kink so that too. aaand i like writing d/s dynamics <3

10. Do you write crossovers? in my earlier days - yes, i've written a couple but it's just some bits somewhere in my folders and only one person besides me saw them. in spn fandom i'm not really interested in it

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? not that i know of and i don't think i'm that popular lmao

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? as of now - nope

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? no and i honestly don't think i'll be able to because i'm too protective and too 'it should be my way and style and nothing else' person so i'd be a nightmare to co-write with

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? destiel (duh) and mckirk (so many years have passed and yet they still hold a place in my heart)

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? idk i have hope that i will be able to finish them all eventually. but probably the 'Skating Gays' fic because i can't focus enough to do a proper research on all figure skating shit and i don't want to write it half blindly and also in my head it's like at least 40k long and it intimidates me because i usually write much shorter stuff

16. What are your writing strengths? dialogues and smut (or i hope so at least)

17. What are your writing weaknesses? can't stay motivated and focused to write Big Works and probs the whole 'what's around the characters' descriptions

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? i'm bilingual myself with knowledge of bits and pieces in other languages and it doesn't bother me even if it's in a language i don't know, it can even be left without any footnotes if the meaning of this bit is for the audience/another character to fail to understand the character speaking. other than that i can read the translated text and be okay

19. First fandom you wrote for? hmm. hard to remember but if we're digging deep enough it was probably tsubasa reservoir chronicle

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? i love all of them? i put my whole pussy in all of them and i enjoy them after. but IF i have to choose...dancing moves and dressing down probably. still. HARD

tagging @jactingjoices @hauntedpearl @angelcasendgame 💜

#tagged #destiel fic #writing #fanfiction

[sacrificialsam]

What are your thoughts on parentified dean?

I hate when it veers into “dean is sams dad” territory cuz I think that’s silly (and not accurate to me anyway. I know the later seasons lean more into the dean as mom dad brother thing but I don’t think that dynamic fits with the earlier seasons and it does feel like they just wanted to give Dean more poor sufferer vibes which is something I don’t like. The ep with sonny’s farm is an especially bad example of this and I don’t think it fits with johns character in season 1 at alllllllll. In the pilot John has been gone for three weeks and dean is freaking out!!! At 26!!!!!!)

I think it fits when we talk about John and dean’s relationship. Dean spent a long time (until we see him go against John in season 1) coddling johns feeling and providing him with emotional support (and keeping him with him all the time. Again later seasons “dad would send me away sometimes” moments are ridiculous!!!)

i've talked about parentified dean a lot on this blog, but i'll give you a quick rundown of my basic opinions: while dean was clearly parentified by john when he was left alone to take care of sam, fandom constantly insists dean did way more for sam than is actually implied or even logical. i don't believe dean really thinks of sam as his son, and sam would never see dean as his dad. dean isn't and wouldn't be a good parent or parental figure, and saying sam's childhood was 'easy' because of dean's parenting is ignorant at best. additionally, i hate interpretations and headcanons of dean as a mother or maternal.

but to address your specific points, yeah they ramped up the woobification of dean a lot, and i also feel like dean's pity parties got worse and worse in later seasons. after a certain point john had to be vilified even more and act out of character to add onto this, and since preseries and the winchesters' childhoods aren't explored in complete detail a lot of rewriting could happen there. john was an absent father, but that doesn't mean he lost all contact with his family for months on end, as that's clearly a big cause of concern in the first season as you've pointed out. it honestly bothers me because i feel like the added victimization of dean's childhood is used to further the narrative of sam being spoiled and having it good in comparison; it's often played in a way that makes it look like dean was the only victim of john's subpar parenting because 'sam at least had dean' or something. and i want to point out i don't think sam was treated just like dean or was parentified in the same way, but he also had to grow up too fast and was negatively affected by it. and we also know dean added onto that by also wanting sam to stay a hunter instead of having a life away from direct danger, he wasn't the force of good to john's negative influence or anything.

with dean and john's relationship i think it's a bit complicated, john clearly used dean as a point of reassurance and support and did put too much stress on him, which he even apologizes for in his last moments. but i'm not sure if parentification is the right word for it, i don't think he was a parent stand-in for john, much more someone who could act as a right hand man, someone who would back him up (even against sam) and who could be relied on. i like the soldier or even the guard dog analogies a lot better than those saying dean was the other parent in their family dynamic, because i don't think dean ever fully moved out of the son category, he wasn't truly equal. and this is partially because john never let dean (or sam) disagree with his decisions, and dean very much idolized his father and wanted to follow his lead rather than have equal saying.

oh and i answered another ask about parentification before, if this wasn't a long enough read yet.

#ask #anon

[sunshinestrand]

wip wednesday

tagged by @rmd-writes thank you so much, lovely!! <3

this is a new one that I've been thinking about (because why focus on the ones we have when we can start another askshfjk)

"Someone is renting the cursed apartment?" Paul asks as he slips through the door and into Carlos' apartment. He turns to glance out into the hallway and closes the door at an alarmingly slow pace.

Carlos rolls his eyes at his antics. "Would you stop it? It's not cursed."

Paul finally latches the door and turns to glance at him, eyebrow raised. "Oh, sure, an apartment that has had over three tenants in the last year. Not cursed at all."

"People don't stick around," Carlos reasons, shrugging a shoulder. "It's not the apartment's fault."

"Sure, not at all." Paul says sarcastically, and he crosses the small space to sit on one of the bar stools at Carlos' Island. "So, have you met them?"

"His name is TK. He just moved here from New York." Carlos relays the information that he was told earlier that morning during his first meeting with TK. "That's all I know."

Paul nods along. "Well, hopefully, he's quieter than the last guy that was in there. How many noise complaints did that dude rack up by the time he left?"

Carlos would never forget that guy. He had lost so much sleep over the loud music he played while he partied the night away with his friends.

"Far too many to count at this point."

Paul chuckles, shaking his head, and he grabs one of the chips from the bowl Carlos had put out. There's a knock at the door, and Carlos lays the knife he's using onto the counter before he crosses to answer it.

TK stands on the other side, and Carlos has to try to keep his composure once again at the sight of him. He also has to withhold slamming the door in TK's face so he can panic for a few seconds before calmly opening it again.

"I'm so sorry to bother you," TK says, and the fact that it's a sincere apology baffles Carlos. He thinks that TK could never be a bother. "Did you happen to know somewhere good to eat? I tried searching it, but all the reviews are hit or miss. So, I thought maybe getting a local opinion would be better."

Every thought escapes Carlos at that very moment. Every place he's ever eaten in all of Austin disappears, and he forgets everything.

"I — uh — you —" Carlos stutters, trying to figure out how to get words to come out of his mouth, but it doesn't work. Carlos laughs nervously, trying to calm himself down. TK just keeps a kind smile, even though he's probably thinking Carlos sounds and looks absolutely crazy. "What —"

"Oh, good lord." He hears Paul mumble as he appears next to him. "Hey, TK, right? I'm Paul, Carlos' best friend. Welcome to the building and to Austin."

TK's eyes move from Carlos to Paul, and Carlos has to literally blow out a breath. "It's nice to meet you, Paul, and thank you."

"Carlos here is having some friends over later, and we play Catan. Carlos makes some great food, probably some of the best in Austin. So, if you want to stop by later, then you are more than welcome to. It'll help you to get to know some people around here."

TK's smile grows, and his gaze finds Carlos again. The panic begins to rise again. Honestly, he had no idea what the hell was wrong with him. He's usually pretty cool under pressure, but TK is proving to make that difficult for him.

"Is that okay with you?" TK asks.

Carlos feels the jolt as Paul elbows him gently in the ribs, and he tries his best not to react. "Yes, it is. Definitely. I wouldn't mind at all. I — I am going to stop talking."

TK chuckles, his nose scrunching adorably, and the sound nearly turns Carlos to a puddle.

"Alright, deal. I'll see you guys later, thank you."

When Carlos finally shuts the door and lets out a deep breath, he turns to glare at Paul.

"Oh no, don't give me that look, I had to save you from yourself. You looked like you were going to spontaneously combust."

"I was doing just fine." Carlos argues as he picks back up his knife. Paul snorts and mumbles what Carlos knows is a sarcastic comment. But, his mind is far too occupied with the memory of TK's smile to make any attempt at a retort.

I'm getting to this a bit late so I'm not sure who has been tagged but I'll tag @reyescarlos @marjansmarwani and @welcometololaland and anyone else who would like to <3

#wip wednesday #paige writes #911 lone star

[noahtally-famous]

favorite new gen ships?

I'm assuming you're cool with canon and fanon ships (bc if it's just canon ships then uh...it's just gonna be rajbow lmao).

I'll have you know this was painstaking for a multishipper like me, but here we are!!

disclaimer: I've personally only watched four of the episodes (I'm tryna find time to watch the rest 😭); the rest that I know of abt the characters and/or dynamics are bc of tumblr lmaoo

(also if you have a problem with any of these, don't bother commenting, I don't need the hate)

rajbow (raj x bowie): o b v!! can't have one of these asks without these two, tbvh, I adore them and from what I've heard abt them, I love how Fresh handled them--the fact that the only canon gay ship is also on the list of the healthiest ships is wild and I freaking love it!! they're so adorable together too--and let me say I noticed the connection between Bowie getting crowns and Raj's name meaning 'king' immediately and it made me love them more! I can't wait to see more of them next season, and I hope Fresh doesn't fuck around with them like they've done with other ships 🤞

emwayne (emma x wayne): while I understand where the zemma shippers are coming from, I'm gonna have to say that I can see them as a pairing, but mostly I see zee and emma as friends than lovers. moving onto wayne and emma, I've seen a couple of rlly cute fanart abt them that roped me into rooting for them; also, I saw this tumblr post that talked abt wayne helping emma see that her and chase aren't right for each other bc of the break between bowie and emma's friendship; I thought it'd be cute that emma realizes what an actual relationship is supposed to be like based on the way wayne treats her and the two grow closer as he helps her come into herself more. overall, really cute pairing!!

nichaxel (nichelle x axel): MY LESBIAN BABES!!! ever since I saw that one scene where they interacted, I was HOOKED, I'm SO SO on board with these two getting together, ugh, I can just imagine how badass and amazing they'd be!! axel teaching nichelle to fight so she can make her comeback next season??? nichelle helping axel tune more into her emotions and her heart??? sign me tf up!! they'd be unstoppable, legit, I want this so bad! seriously, I hope Fresh does smth with them next season and if they don't get them together, I hope they at least let them be friends, goddammit!

damien x priya (idk their shipname 😭): from the screenshots I've seen of the two, I think they're cute together!! wonder if next season will involve them more 🤔 it's funny too bc it's the guy who doesn't have a clue abt total drama with the girl who knows everything abt it; like imagine priya getting damien to watch the prev seasons and damien returning next season like a fricking icon with his newfound knowledge. honestly I'm on the fence abt these two; I like them as a pairing, but also I think they're great as good friends too! (also I've seen a lot of ppl talking abt millie x priya; I personally don't have an opinion abt that, I haven't gotten that far to have one. So, to me, they're just good friends!) (on that note, for the scary girl x damien shippers, I personally see them as friends, I just can't see scary girl with anyone sorry 😅)

chazee (chase x zee): okay, hear me out on this one. before the season came out, when all I knew abt everyone were those random pics of episodes, I remember wishing chase to be gay (or bi or smth that isn't straight or he realizes he's not straight while in the show) bc it'd break that stereotype which I thought would be cool--and I shipped him with zee like offhandedly, nothing extreme, just lowkey. like I thought their shipname was cute (chazee?? hello?? literally adorable?? and I've found out that ppl are calling them cheese now too and fdhdjf that just makes it cuter). then I started watching the season and got to know chase's whole personality, I was like 'ehhhh' and this pairing just...got shunted to the far corners of my mind. THEN I came across this freaking adorable fic of these two (it's this one!) that somehow converted me back to shipping these two??? then I started thinking up random scenarios involving the two and yeah imma say I adore these two. idk I feel like zee would be good for chase, like their way of viewing the world would be pretty helpful for someone like chase?? (plus the whole sexuality crisis can still exist on chase's end bc imo zee is the kinda person to already be aware of a lot of things abt him (their gender, their sexuality, etc) but not put much emphasis on it, y'feel?), and maybe chase's way of expressing himself would balance out zee's??? who knows?? idk I feel like this ship has a lot of potential and it's worth exploring-

mkulia (mk x julia): they'd be the queens of meet-uglies lmaoo but no rlly, they'd be rlly great together, I feel! they give off alenoah vibes too, which I think is pretty neat! idk much abt them rn bc I'm only a fourth in the season, but I will def let you know my thoughts once I do!

I think that's it! these aren't all the ships I ship obv, but if I had to pick favs, it would be these ones!

oh, btw, as a treat, let me talk abt my least fav character in the season after I talked abt my fav ships fhjdfhI okay so I genuinely dislike ripper so much lmfao, like in the beginning he was 'meh' to me and he just plummeted the more I watched the season. I would not subject anyone to the pain of being shipped with him at all (the only ship I can tolerate is chipper but even then it's shipped ironically and I've hardly any interest in it; sorry chipper fans lmao)😭 literally hope he gets eliminated early next season--it's what he deserves after the whole deal with axel's elimination this season.

#total drama #total drama spoilers #kit speaks #noahtally-famous #kit stuff #td #total drama revival #td mk #td julia #td zee #td emma #td raj #td chase #td bowie #td wayne #td nichelle #td damien #td priya #td axel #anonymous #answered

[palialaina]

I have been staring at this page for like... twenty minutes, trying to figure out where to start. I know it's my own journal, but still. Today was just. It's been...

Okay.

I'm gonna back up.

I have been trying, very hard, to not step on TIsh's toes. I couldn't just come out and ask if she or Reth have feelings for Jel, and I mean... I also don't want to ruin the friendships I'm building either by presuming too much.

I told Kenyatta about the letter Zeki sent me, and she said he was just trying to make a quick coin, but also that Grimalkin have a really up there sense of smell, so he could probably... smell my interest, even if he didn't know who it was aimed at.

That's really really weird to think about. I'm not gonna think about it.

Anyways, she also said that if it was her, she'd just confess.

I pointed out that she and Nai'o only think their subtle, and she hit me with a sheaf of papers. I'm glad we're friends.

I asked Dad about it too. Sort of. More like he saw I was moping around town a little while I tried to decide and gently dragged me up to the Remembrance Garden to pry it out of me. I don't remember having a dad, but if I did, I hope he was as nice as Ashura.

And Ashura said that I couldn't control what someone else felt about me, but also that if I didn't try, I'd never know, and settling, like Eshe and Kenli, was a far cry from being in love with your potential life partner.

Dad's definitely got some romantic in him though, cause he told me a little about how he courted Sabine, and it was adorable. I keep wondering...

Getting ahead of myself.

So I took the money from the house fun, and bought some chocolates from Zeki... and then proceeded to avoid town and do everything but give them to Jel.

In my defense, I panicked.

He uh... well, he tracked me down? I mean, not like I was really hiding. I was so tongue tied, I just... shoved the box at him, and the way his face lit up. Oh my gosh. Apparently he'd been doing the exact same thing and worrying about what sort of gesture he could make and it was just as simple as this silly box of chocolates...

I don't really know what comes next, but he kissed my cheek before he left, and now I visit the shop and his smile is just so much softer. Oh, I do not know what to do with myself when he smiles at me! I just... I feel all soft and squishy and giddy!

....I hope it doesn't bother Tish any. I really really hope it doesn't. Or Reth...

Ugh. Though, speaking of Jel does remind me of something Hekla asked me to do that was pretty funny.

I really want to know why she wanted a potato, some cloth, and buttons, but at the same time, I'mm a little afraid to ask. The Goldur are strange beings. I mean, I don't think she'd hurt me or anything, but the answer might make my brain hurt?

But it meant I had to go ask Jel if he had any spare buttons, since I... don't. (Maybe I should get a sewing kit? I almost ripped my leggings twice while chasing sernuk...) And he wanted to know if there was any specific types. When I shrugged at him, well, you'd think I'd called down some sort of storm.

When I told him the buttons were for Hekla, he stopped ranting about fabric types vs. button types, and then handed me a couple of blue plastic ones. I don't think he wants to know either. I did tell him I'd come sit through a lesson on buttons and fabrics later though. Honestly, it sounds interesting! I don't think I'll ever be a seamstress the way he's a tailor, but knowing basic repairs can't hurt, can it?

He saw me holding the kamera, and when I explained what it was, he said we should take a picture together. This makes me look so short... but then again, could just be that he's tall?

Maybe both.

I did some more work on building furniture and arranging my house. I think I'm getting better at this! I made myself some shelving for my loose dishes, a couple cabinets for some spare things, moved the planter Jel gave me into my room, picked up some candles...

Oh, and the lute! I have to remember to ask Uncle B to teach me how to play sometime! I tried it myself earlier, but I must have calluses in all teh wrong spots, since now my fingers are kind of... um... bloody.

I may have tried a little too hard. Oops.

#palia #palia online #singularity 6 #berry plays palia #palia game #palia journaling #palia journey #palia mmo #Keep in mind that this is me roleplaying #Lots of what I'm attributing to the characters are me *guessing* what they'd say if they weren't scripted #That said holy shit that confession with Jel #MY HEART Y'ALL #When I was playing alpha I didn't really talk to the NPCs #Didn't understand the romance aspect #I find Reth painfully relatable but this time I got attached to Jel first #I really need this game to have alts #(I do love Reth so much) #Another way of confessing affection is a heartdrop lily #But those are *exceptionally hard to find* #I literally found one BY ACCIDENT and have not seen one since #That thing lives in my storage right now #Affection is a separate level of conversation #I get to *flirt* with Jel now as well as just casually chat with him #Also whoever voiced him? How dare you sound so damn cute #<3

[balkanradfem]

hey i dont think i would actually be able to help that much and you probably have already looked into this before, but just in case you havent, if you try to describe your neck pain in detail i could see if i can figure out what might be able to help relieve it? i get neck pain due to work and its reduced through weird exercises most people dont ever think to do. i sit at weird angles a lot so i have to do exercises that compensate for that

Oh I'd be happy to! If you can figure anything out that would be great, even though at this point two physio specialists and a physiotherapist have looked at it and decided that the symptoms just make no sense, and a mri shows that everything is fine with my bones, disks and muscles.

The most troubling symptoms are that I'm unable to carry anything over 2kg, and honestly my left side is way worse, I can't carry more than 1kg with my left hand, I can carry 2 with my right. (I also have back pain on my left side).

Other really upsetting symptom is that I feel every impact in my neck, for example I can't run or jump, any harsh contact with the floor feels like I've been hit directly inside of my neck, or like the bones of my neck are hitting into my skull. I feel every step as I walk as an impact in my neck, and because of that I can rarely walk for more than 10 minutes. It has helped a little since a friend suggested I put an implant in my shoes, to make them softer, so the impact is lessened. I also can walk longer on very soft surfaces, like a forest after rain, when the soil is soft.

I also can't use tools like a hammer, hoe, anything involving hitting. I can't punch a bag anymore. Whatever impact is made, it feels like the impact is inside of my neck, or between my head and my neck. The first vertebrae of the neck is where the pain is most intense. I've been told since that this is impossible because these don't even touch, and the neck goes inside of my skull instead, but I have no other language to describe it, feels like my skull is taking damage from either being hit or brutally rubbed against the bones of my neck. Or like there's some nerves inbetween getting crushed. (but that would show on the mri)

Other symptoms that are just annoying: I can't lean my neck forward too much, I can't sit for long periods of time, I can't sit leaning back at all, it will start hurting after 1 minute of that, I have to either sit straight or lean slightly forward. I can't sleep with a pillow, I need a completely flat surface.

Once the neck pain gets irritated (if I accidentally carry something heavy of walk for too long) it will hurt so much I will no longer be able to sit or stand, I'll have to lie down on a completely flat surface for several days for it to recover. I also have to sleep on my back. It also gets irritated if I go to the dentist and have to sit on that chair leaned back for 15 minutes, the entire appointment is incredibly painful.

If the neck is not irritated, then I can sleep on my side curled up in a ball, but still without a pillow.

I noticed lately that it hurts if I try to turn my head to the left, it used to not hurt just from that motion, unless I would try to keep the position. It generally hurts if I try to turn my head to any side for too long, I have to keep looking forward or slightly down.

My neck will also hurt if I put anything on my head, like a towel, or a hood, anything that's giving it extra weight or putting any pressure on it.

There are things I still can't do with manageable or minimal pain! I can do some gardening, if I take breaks and accept that generally crouching and looking down will be mildly painful. I can ride a bike with next to no pain, I can do cleaning where I don't have to walk much, and it doesn't bother me. I can do foraging as long as I don't look too much down and move the rest of my body more than I move my neck. And doing normal stuff in the kitchen like cooking, kneading dough, washing dishes, doesn't bother me at all.

I have tried a few exercises in the past, found on youtube, but every and each of those was painful to do, and I didn't know if it would do extra damage, so I stopped. I think now I can try doing any exercises since there's nothing physically wrong with me, I'm unlikely to do actual damage (but I'm still scared of irritating the pain).

I appreciate being given a chance to just talk about the pain because usually I just try to not talk about it, because I don't want everyone around me to feel bad about it all the time, and nothing really helps. I've been prescribed a muscle-relaxant to take for a week, and while I was taking it, it was better, and less painful, but as soon as I stopped taking it, the pain came right back.

#neck pain #neck pain discourse #i'm still just coming to terms with the fact that it isn't physically caused pain #it's difficult to believe something this big and strong could be caused by psychological reasons #i mean i know i'm mentally ill but come on #this is just ridiculous

[imaginejamesandsirius]

Can you do one where Sirius gets insecure because Harry spends more time with Lily (who was the prongsfoot surrogate) than he does with him, and believes harry doesn't see him as his dad, but turns out they're actually planning a surprise for sirius. Thanksssss

((A/N: This is a modern no magic AU with nonbinary Harry))

Sirius would like to think that he was an extremely open-minded individual. After someone had lived the life he did, he figured it was required. First he ran away from an abusive home/got thrown out, and then he was taken in by the wonderful family of his at-the-time boyfriend (later husband). He'd lived in poverty for a couple years after moving out and graduating, then gone through a surrogate who was an ex-girlfriend of his husband's so they could have a kid. He learned that Harry was nonbinary and did his best to take it in stride, looking up every bit of information he could to make things better for his child. When Harry wanted to spend time with Lily, not just as a friend to the family but as the person who carried them to term and birthed them, Sirius didn't have a problem with it, and he felt like most people would have.

So yes, he felt like he was pretty open-minded.

It meant that at first, he didn't have a problem when Harry decided to spend more time with Lily than they usually did. Why would he? They spent time with her every month, a day set aside specifically for the two of them. And Sirius could appreciate, at first, how Harry could want a more feminine point of view in their life. James and Sirius weren't particularly feminine, and most of their mates were men. Sirius could easily see that Harry would want a more varied worldview than that, especially with their gender.

But then it kept happening, and it wasn't both of their parents they were ducking out on, it was just Sirius.

Now, Sirius wasn't a kid anymore. He didn't see that Harry was avoiding him a little and assume the worst. Harry was fourteen, this is when teenage rebellion started to really come in swing. For god's sake, the mood swings alone were taking Sirius for a ride, he didn't even want to think of what was to come.

So Sirius tried not to take it personally, even when he noticed that Harry was avoiding him to spend time with Lily.

The change happened when Harry threw a bag over their shoulder and said, "Bye Pads." Not 'Pop' like they'd been doing ever since they learned how to speak: Pads. Pads, like he was nothing more than a favoured uncle in Harry's life. Not a father. He knew that Lily wasn't the one that had given Harry the idea, but someone else must have, because they'd never had a problem with it until now. 

He couldn't even pretend to be fine when James walked in from the kitchen.

"Harry's at Lily's," Sirius reported dully.

" Again?"

Sirius nodded. He could feel himself unraveling at the edges, and he knew that James could see it, that he'd try to comfort Sirius, but how the hell did he fix this with words alone? James was incredible, but even he couldn't manage that.

James sat next to him at the table. Both of Sirius's hands were in his lap, so James out a hand on his thigh. Good ol' James, always trying to make him feel better; it wouldn't be enough this time.

"Why does it bother you so much?" he asked softly. "I admit, I'm not thrilled they're spending all their time with her instead of us, but it seems to be getting to you more than me." 

"They called me Pads before they left. Not Pop, just Pads. You really think that's nothing?"

James looked just as heartbroken by that as Sirius had felt. He swallowed, then said, "I'll talk to them about it."

"Don't," Sirius said immediately. "it's just how they feel. I'm sure the last thing Harry needs right now is for you to hunt them down and make them feel guilty. They just... finally see me how everyone else sees me."

"What are you talking about?" James asked, honestly, innocently confused by what anyone else would consider to be obvious. 

"Everyone thinks that you and Lily were together and then you got with me. I was grandfathered in as Harry's parent because I married you, not because that's what we started with the entire time." Sirius shook his head. "I guess it had to happen sometime, I just hoped it wouldn't," he muttered. He pushed himself up. "I'll start on dinner."

"Do you want help?" James asked, and what it meant was 'do you want to be alone'.

"No thanks." Sirius loved James but sometimes he needed a little time to process his emotions. This was definitely one of those times.

*

"Lils not to pry, but what the hell is going on with you and Harry? They've been ignoring Sirius for weeks, and now he's convinced Harry doesn't think of him like a father."

Lily's eyes went wide, taken aback first by his unannounced presence, then by what he said. She blinked a few times, trying to process the news he'd just dropped on her. "What? Sirius thinks that? No, that's not- no! Gods, we've been working on a surprise for him. We didn't tell you because you can't keep a secret from him if your life depended on it."

That effectively soothed his worries, but now he was left in the position of trying to figure out how the hell they fixed this. "Right. Okay, makes sense," he said, rubbing his eyes under his glasses. "I hope this surprise is really important. What is it?"

"They wanted to paint him a picture of your first house," Lily explained, wringing her hands. James felt sorry for making her feel bad, but it was nothing compared to the way Sirius was hurting right now. "Harry needed help with it, so they came to me, but they didn't want me to just do all the drawing for them. They wanted to do it all themself, so it took a bit longer. We're not even done yet. Another day or two though, and it should be finished."

"If I let this go on for another day or two, Sirius is going to start thinking- I dunno, that he should move out of the house or something else horrid."

"Harry's been working so hard to keep this a secret. Please don't tell him. I mean, I know you can't really keep a secret from Sirius, but surely you can hold out for another couple days."

James sighed and shook his head. "I have to tell him that the two of you have been planning a surprise gift for him, but I'll try to keep the details of it to myself." It was the best he could do, because no way in hell was he going to let Sirius continue to believe that their kid didn't like him anymore.

"I'll take what I can get. Thank you. And I'm sure Harry will be grateful too."

"I'm going to talk to them once this is all over," James said. Gods, he could already feel the headache that conversation would bring, trying to tell Harry to not do it again but not wanting to make them feel guilty, either. "For now, I'm going to leave you in peace so I can tell Sirius to stop worrying."

"You sure you don't want to stay for a cuppa? Since you came all this way."

"Not this time, but thanks, Lils."

"Anytime. And sorry again about the misunderstanding," she said with a wince as she walked James back to the front door. "I'll know better than to try something like this again."

"It won't seem as bad a year from now, I just..."

"Want to protect Sirius. I get it. See you 'round."

James nodded goodbye, then started to head home. Bloody hell. Haz and Lily were well-intentioned, but he wished this could've happened some other way. It was a nice idea, and he could see why Harry would want to keep it a secret until it was done, but he couldn't help but want this to have ended sooner, before Sirius had a chance to feel bad about it.

And it was a very sweet idea. Sirius had loved that first house and hated when they had to move. They still had a picture of it out-- their three-person family posed in front of the facade after Harry's first birthday. It was a kind, thoughtful gift, but James wished that Harry hadn't put such a rush on it. If they'd taken their time and spread out working on it over a year, then there wouldn't have been a misunderstanding.

James sighed at himself. Here he was blaming a teenager for not thinking ahead. It was a teaching moment, not anything to be frustrated about. Once he apprised Sirius of the situation, they could put the entire experience behind them-- at least, he hoped it would be that simple. He never really knew what to expect when Sirius got insecure like this. His times like that were few and far between, and James didn't know how to handle it because in his mind, it didn't make any sense. No matter how much he tried to understand, he couldn't.

So he would handle this conversation as well as he could and then just be there for him, because it was the best he could do.

*

"I feel a little silly for worrying about it so much," Sirius said that night as they laid in bed. His eyes were on the ceiling, but he wasn't truly looking at it.

"I don't think it's silly."

Sirius laughed and reached for James's hand, threading their fingers together. "That's one of the many reasons I love you. I mean, I can still see why I started to worry. It felt like they were pulling away, but my mind jumped to that conclusion instead of asking them about it. Hell, I could've asked Lily when I first started to notice, and she would've told me it was nothing."

James didn't know what to say to reassure him, so he rolled onto his side to press a kiss to Sirius's bare shoulder.

"Yeah, yeah sweet-talker, I hear you," Sirius fake-grumbled with a smile. He turned to face James and kissed him, slow and comfortable. "Our kid's pretty great."

"A bit misguided at times, but their heart's in the right place," James replied.

#prongsfoot #bambibelle #james potter #sirius black #harry potter #lily evans #filled #no magic au #raising harry #established relationship #married #siriuslystarbucks

[juneviews]

For the drama ask: 7, 12 and 13

7. if you could change the ending of a drama which one would it be?

oof, there's so many! let me choose a drama that I actually loved bc one that I don't is kind of the easy way out lol. I'd change the ending of 3 will be free so ter isn't killed & mae's trauma isn't provoked just so she can rescue the main three characters. I'd have shin kill his father bc it's much more meaningful & powerful this way, and I'd also have him move permanently on the island with mew & neo instead of going back and forth. also mae & ter would leave the country and heal peacefully together :)

12. an actor/actress you want to see in a lead role

what a loaded question! I'll get it out of my system, yes of course I want to see off in a main role in a show that isn't bl, isn't an ensemble cast & is actually good bc all of his non offgun related roles never take off & it's pissing me off lol.

the next obvious choice is mond, but this one I honestly feel even more strongly about bc this man is literally one of the most beautiful men on earth AND talented as fuck & he literally gets nothing but crumbs from gmmtv.

lay talay bc he's kinda dropped off the surface of the earth lately & I think that's a crime, my dream would be for him to join gmmtv even though I doubt they'd give him a main role, but at least I'd get to see more of him :(

give drake a new main bl please, I can't believe he ate the most ever in my tee yet bc the writing of it was shit it flopped & since then he's gotten no other good role ever, like... fucking rude 😠

fluke pusit bc he's literally so fucking good I love him, and if he got a main bl role he'd 100% become huge, I can feel it!

lastly for the actors or we'll be here forever, we have earth pirapat & first, who are both actors I've loved for a long ass time but I've kinda lost some interest for once they became caged into their current ships. I like both ships, especially firstkhao, but I feel like since getting with their ships they've completely lost their identity as individual actors, and in my opinion it's a generalized problem with the new generation of gmmtv ships, but it especially bothers me for first & earth bc I KNOW how amazing they are & feel they could do both ship work AND slay some individual works.

as for the actresses, we all know they're all so fucking underrated & I stan literally every single one of them, but also bc there's much less of them than male actors, they often get main roles more easily, so I don't have as many to mention.

firstly there is jennie, who is always put in side roles but would actually SLAY a good romcom! also it would be incredible representation to have a romance with a trans woman who's not played by a cis actress (*cough* the fallen leaf I'm looking at you *cough*)

then there's ciize who just deserves the spotlight imo. she's adorable, seasoned & a good actress, and I think she'd make for a very new type of female lead in dramas that I'd really love to see!

lastly there's the love of my life, lookjun. technically she got a main lead in the jungle which gives me hope for the future, but it was an ensemble cast show so it doesn't count. I want her in a full show bc I think she's amazing & has the charisma to carry it!!! (also pls she's literally had 3 wlw side ships now GIVE HER A GL!!!)

13. popular actor/actress you feel nothing for 

literally almost all of them LMAO. I'm not a big fan of zee & nunew, I don't really like jimmy from gmmtv for some reason, I don't like mew & gulf AT ALL for obvious reasons & I don't care for mile & apo bc I didn't watch their show. there's many more but those were out of the top of my head.

xxx

participate in the ask game :)

#answers #3 will be free #off jumpol #mond tanutchai #lay talay #drake laedeke #fluke pusit #first kanaphan #earth pirapat #jennie panhan #ciize apichaya #lookjun bhasidi

[spicesweet]

Helloo, im looking for advice and your blog seems like a safe place but feel free to ignore if that's too much/out of your depth

So I never got diagnosed with an ed but I did ballet in my formative tears (4yo til 11) and as such I started 'caring' about my weight/stature very early (recently found journal entries from when I was 6 and I was measuring my waist every night). When I had my first smartphone I obv downloaded every 'health' app I could find (lifesum, movesum, whatever, I probably had it at one point), but after hs I got into a bad depressive episode but one of the upside is that I decided to eat what felt good and not just focus on random cals. Recently I decided to get back in shape and well, let's say that it started innocently but I ended with myfitnesspal back on my phone. And like. I'm trying again but just, how do you do it? Bc even when I wasn't counting cals I still categorised every meal into good or bad, I always planned what I was going to eat and like, is there a way to not center my life around food?

Sorry for the rant but I'm just so frustrated and sad with myself

Sending you love 💞

first of all, thank you so much for trusting me with this. this is in fact a safe space, and I'm glad it shows ♡

your message actually tugged at my heartstrings, because I relate to this so much! in one way or another, since I was a kid, I've orbited around food more than any other topic. even now, when I'm doing better than ever, I'm healthy and strong and honestly the closest I've ever been to my ideal, dream body, food is still something I'll spend a lot of time thinking about. disordered eating behaviors are hard to move on from exactly because food is central to our lives! it's the most basic need any animal has, regardless of what "food" means to that animal, and we're no different.

for me, I was tired. I spent my entire life loathing myself, feeling disgust and hatred that consumed me and at the same time paralyzed me, caused me to be unable to change. but life kept happening, and eventually I was in a completely new circumstance that allowed me to very slowly change my relationship with food. I have no shame in admitting that I don't know if it would've happened if I didn't have my man with me, because he made me want to do better, be better and healthier so I could stand proud next to him. I didn't want him to date a sick girl who would only have limitations to present him. but I do believe it would've happened eventually, just slower, maybe.

but to answer your actual question, how I do it, I think it's sort of like battling an addiction. you can't really ever take your foot off the pedal, relax and just think that if you get a little better, it'll be forever and you'll never have to worry about it coming back. I think having an eating disorder in your teens is so much harder because everything is impulsive, immediate, instant, including our expectations. now that I'm past that, I can understand that being extreme and hardcore doesn't last, but smaller actions add up. my commitment to myself and my health is a forever deal, and at the same time, I'm only concerned about today. I think my disordered eating behaviors are an addiction for me, because as much as I know how harmful they are, I also do find comfort in them. they do serve me, in lots of way, like addictive substances do. so I don't ever let my guard down around them, and I each day I wake up focused on keeping them away for the day. I don't bother with tomorrows and yesterdays, only today, only the next time.

and don't get me wrong: I still plan my meals ahead, I still get guilty often, I still regret eating this and that often. it's not a perfect system, and I think accepting and understanding that is also a part of the reason why I've been healthier. I'm not looking for a perfect lifestyle or a perfect relationship with food, but rather a sustainable one, and there's no room for obsession, self-loathing, impulsiveness and nonchalantry when it comes to sustainability. there's a lot of planning, watching out, discipline and understanding instead.

I think that if you identify disordered eating behaviors in your story, I think it's okay to understand that it is and will probably always be a big piece of your life, and even more okay that you'll have to treat this topic with special attention. I can't tell you how this special attention will go because that's literally a self-discovery problem, but it's about finding out what purpose the behaviors are serving and then finding a way to replace them with sustainable, flexible and accessible ones. you just need to investigate what these mean to you. to me, it means mainly a lot of reading about health and a lot of cooking and learning about nutrition and a lot of hours on top of a treadmill. eventually, if you're patient with yourself, embracing low moments but not giving up, not rushing your process, not expecting immediate results, I know you'll eventually find your healthy. ⁠♡

#loveletters #advice

[mmmichyyy]

i just need to vent a lil bit or else i'm going to combust.

i work at an office for a small company. i hate confrontation. i'm a pretty quiet person and keep things to myself mostly and don't bother anyone. i do my work, i get off work, i don't think about work at home, and that's that.

my manager is one of the most frustrating people i've ever encountered. she is over sixty, extremely stuck in her ways and borderline delusional. she is incompetent with computers, constantly says she's not good with computers, yet doesn't do anything to learn or advance her skills. one time she asked me why she couldn't move a file from one folder to another. at the time i didn't have the time or energy to explain to her how it worked (also because i've tried explaining other basic computer things in the past and all she kept saying was "i'll never understand" so i stopped trying) so i just did it for her. it took me literally 2 seconds. the next day she said i stayed up all night thinking about what happened yesterday, i don't understand why you did that, why could you just teach me. i said i have tried before, you just don't listen. then she said okay next time i have a computer issue i won't ask you. i said okay fine. she ignored me for months after that unless it was absolutely necessary to talk to me, which honestly was fine by me.

one time she accused me of "stealing and shredding company documents" without any evidence. she told my supervisor she didn't know what i was working on, didn't understand the computer system i use, photocopied reports i had written like she was collecting evidence to my supervisor (who doesn't come into the office often) as if she was catching me in the act of doing something nefarious, when in reality i scan every report for my supervisor to see. i sit beside this person every day. she could've turned her head and asked me questions and i would've answered her. instead she just assumed i was "suspicious" because she has hate in her heart and thinks everyone's out to get her, but honestly i just don't care enough about my job to do all the extra work of "stealing company information" ????? i just want to get paid dude.

my supervisor sat me down and told me she believes me, that my manager is from a different generation, that as long as i do my work then it's fine. so ever since then i don't engage with my manager, i don't confront her, i don't talk to her unless it's work related. she refocused her negative energy to other coworkers. i don't have the mental capacity to coddle her or interact with her. if she talks to me, then i just nod politely.

cut to recently she has started to make passive aggressive comments to my new coworker. i keep quiet, but my coworker and i text to vent about her, since we can't talk out loud when she's there. she made a comment to my coworker about something a few days ago and finally i snapped, i confronted her, asked her why she would say something like that, she said that's just who i am, i am this direct, blah blah blah. she ignored me for a few days after that. then, out of fucking nowhere, she accused me of "forging her signature on a quarterly report" last year (????) with absolutely zero evidence to back up her claim. i just about lost it. i can be quiet about a lot of things, but i will defend myself if you accuse me of doing something i didn't do, especially something this serious. like if a person said shit like that in any professional setting with an actual HR department they would be reprimanded, right?!

i'm just exhausted. i wrote a long email to my supervisor about my side of the story. i know nothing will happen to my manager but i just wanted to make sure that my supervisor knows i didn't do anything wrong and that if my manager wants to accuse me of something, then she has to file a formal complaint and present actual evidence to back up her claim, instead of randomly spewing bullshit out of nowhere just because she's petty. also she burps a lot which is fucking gross.

anyway. idk who's going to read this. i just had to write this out or else i was going to combust. this isn't half the shit she's done. whatever. i'm fine. i just want to do my work and get paid and survive in this shitty economy and pay my rent dude. some people are just fucking weird. the end.

#rant over #if you read all this i'm sorry i don't usually talk this much but i just needed to let it out.