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#I don't want to continue with psychology
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#I stand by my 7/10 rating for NATLA#But I'm watching the episodes in full (as opposed to flipping through them as I did before)#And I still don't like Bumi or Katara or Iroh's characterisation#But Ozai's is really irking me#Just because I love how the animated version of Ozai is so arrogant#He's not manipulative#Even when going to Azulon to ask for Iroh to be dethroned it's not very subtle.#It's what really sells the “of c I should make a position for myself and rule the world. I'm just that great. And my kid is that great too”#I get what they were going with in NATLA about manipulating Azula with fake affection for Zuko to pit them against each other#But I really think that the animated show's Ozai's abuse is just as damaging. Just different.#“You were born to be perfect like me and every single sign you're not is a disappointment of what you could achieve” is a#psychological MOUNTAIN to put on your kid#IDK. I know it's not a HUGE difference like Bumi but#It irks me. And it's irking me continuously. I liked OG Ozai and his flaws and his methods.#You know in a villain way. It just...#There's a line from “Stormbenders” (yes I've been in fandom that long) where Katara's like#“I have just realised that Ozai and Azula are petty... and that makes them so much more dangerous than I thought”#Similar vein to Yon Rha being “sad and empty”#And for Azula's eventual (need-to-be-hard-earned) redemption arc I just... I want OG Ozai and his nuances#That is the end of my rant I'll go re-watch scarf again
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crumbleclub · 10 months
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There's this weird and very gory French + Canadian film called Martyrs (exercise caution when looking it up in terms of images if that stuff freaks you out) and the basic concept is like. Some cult trying to understand what happens after death by bringing people to the brink of it in the most traumatic and agonizing ways possible. And I just realized that that's really some William Afton shit, both for the original motive and for remnant extraction.
(Accidentally wrote an essay in the tags so, ah. Read those I guess)
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dykekakashi · 1 year
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ppl will be like "master/padawan is evil bc they are like FAMILY" and not question why they parentify every authority figure they encounter, including teachers ... 💔 societal disease that breaks my heart
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koishua · 2 years
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broke the news to my parents that i didn't want to study medicine anymore and the look on their faces 🥴🥴
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cruelsister-moved2 · 2 years
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its just constantly so extremely frustrating to be made aware of how absolutely awful most peoples holocaust education is/was (unless they are of a group who was directly affected) like in most cases it isnt really those peoples fault because they were never taught & in some cases taught actively badly so they were led to believe that they do know whilst actually being very ignorant; so how can you rectify what you don't know that you don't know. and the market is so saturated with ~inspirational gentile hero saves a handful of sympathetic acceptable passive jewish victims~ stories and other such Relatable Heartwarming content that even if you did try to educate yourself you could easily do more harm than good.
it feels like we have reached a point where there are now two holocausts, a specific historical one which is largely relegated to a niche academic field, and a monolithic cultural one that appears constantly as a shorthand for fantastical horrors & exists with little specificity or objectivity because it has become a spectre, a mindset,a cautionary tale, a 2D villain, rather than a real historical event which happened to (&was done by) millions of real human beings, thousands of whom still live today. (and also the 3rd which exists in the lives and minds of those who experienced it directly + their families). people can happily detach it from a long & currently thriving continuity of european antisemitism and anti roma racism because it has become just an abstract manifestion of Evil.
no space for the realities of camps liberated by segregated american regiments, of the holocaust of bullets, of the regular families who held their children up on their shoulders to get a better view of murders in the street while they sang the national anthem, operation paperclip, transports that continued to be used in poland for decades after the war to move regular goods and livestock until they were bought by american museums, gentiles quietly moving into the homes of their vanished neighbours once it seemed like they weren't going to come back, jewish labour movements, displaced persons camps, escapees from camps and ghettos who brought their stories to governments and international media from the start, anticipatory pogroms in occupied countries before the nazis even arrived, etc. no there was just one very evil guy, maybe 3 or 4 max, who with the help of advanced modern technology was able to kill millions all on his own just because he felt like it. and im sure people will draw very normal and intelligent conclusions from this understanding of things and it will lead to no problems at all
#it was weird when the maus thing was very big and everyone cared for like a couple of days and there was like#a lot of noise about people planning to educate themselves but then I still hear all the same misconceptions and ignorance as before#so it seems like they didn't actually at all#I don't want to come off preachy at all im just like. sits down and sighs very deeply and lays my head on the tavel#table*#shoah tw#im always somewhat wary of the like we should learn about the holocaust to like see how it is relevant in our own lives or w/e#because like. everyone should learn about it because it is one of the most major events in history it doesn't need justification#but we are living in the same world it happened in like 2/3 generations removed from the people it happened to and from and amongst#there is a sense that there is no continuity from it when in fact it is literally responsible for the entire shape of the modern west#looking at stuff from the 60s and realising they were like ~20 years removed from it like it's part of EVERYTHING#it makes 0 sense to spend more time learning abt Alexander Hamilton or whatever#it has all these psychological repercussions too even if it was something that happened 300 years ago#but it is also like..... all of our very foundational history and it is sooo not treated as that in the education system#for us I rmbr being taught abt ww2 as all like oh the great depression and d day and pearl harbor etc#and then the holocaust as like this completely isolated aside as though it wasn't part of that world and by extension our world but it was#like an obligation to teach us about it as its own like almost a curiosity#anyway.. I'm just like so tired and frustrated
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blackwaxidol · 2 years
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"why am i not tired yet."
> i have forgotten to take my sleeping pills. it has been two hours.
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genderqueerdykes · 2 months
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i got paired up with a new therapist who specializes in and works primarily with neurodivergent patients. i felt comfortable enough to tell her that i'm autistic. she asked if i've ever received a formal diagnosis- i said no, because i've attempted in the past and i've been turned down because i'm "too articulate," i "speak too well," and they see my feminine deadname and that i'm legally AFAB and dismiss me, because "women can't be autistic".
my therapist told me that self-diagnosis is valid.
as we continued to talk through that session, she readily pointed out several autistic behaviors that i had been displaying without even realizing; i began infodumping about queer history and psychology without even realizing it, which she pointed out and then remarked that those are definitely special interests of mine. i felt floored. i knew these things about myself, but she acknowledged them effortlessly without hesitation.
in the next session, she pointed out that my tendency to re-analyze social interactions well past the time that they are over is also an autistic trait, and that i wasn't ruminating anxiously, but rather that's just how many autistic people process- we "over" analyze things in ways that allistics do not. it's difficult for many of us to figure out the entirety of what's happening in the moment, we process over time.
after that, she told me that during our next session, she wanted to spend that appointment talking about my special interests so she could get a better picture of me- specifically using that wording, calling them special interests.
after years of trying and failing to get acknowledgement for my neurotype, all it took was one therapist who specializes in neurodivergence to see the signs. one. sometimes all it takes is one person to make the difference. don't give up if you think you are autistic and are struggling to get a diagnosis or just recognition for it. it doesn't mean you're wrong. the average allistic knows nothing about how autism actually presents itself, only what they know from media, memes and mean jokes. sometimes all it takes is meeting one person who knows what autism looks like.
don't give up. you know who you are.
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15minlatewithbatbucks · 7 months
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One of the bats has to go undercover as a patient of a particularly suspect new and upcoming therapist. Bruce already has a backstory fleshed out and a cover identity, but that's no fun now is it.
Dick: Okay, the bat council is now in session. First things first-
Steph: I'm the realest.
Jason: Shut the fuck up.
Dick: No, no arguing. We're here on a MISSION.
Tim: That's right, a very important mission.
Dick: One of us has to go undercover as Dr. Hoffman's patient. But why? Why are we seeking therapy?
Tim: Wrong answers only. If any of you get too real, Dick can and will find you a real therapist.
Dick: And Tim, no superhero related answers. Bernard's PowerPoint nights give you too much of an advantage.
Tim: You're just jealous I know that Batman is actually a tulpa.
Jason: You shut the fuck up too.
---
Dick: Okay, I'll go first to get the obvious answer out of the way. I'm going because I'm secretly Batman, BUT I'm not here about that. I just have incredibly selective amnesia and can't remember the code to the Batmobile.
Jason: Oh that one's good. Let me think.
Steph: Hoffman is a man, right?
Dick: Right.
Steph: Easy, I'll claim womanly problems. Maybe get prescribed a vibrator.
Tim: *wheezes*
Dick: Ok Gotham's in the dark ages of psychology but not THAT much.
Steph: Spoilsport. Fine, I'm Batman's long lost twin sister.
Duke: Come on, we can't all go to therapy because of Batman.
Jason: I don't know, I feel like all of us should go to therapy because of Batman.
Cass: I'll go because I'm Batman.
Jason: I'd vote for you.
Duke: I think I would go because Metropolis isn't real.
Tim: Like, the whole city is-
Duke: It's a conspiracy. The government wants us to think there's this wonderful city where nothing bad ever happens and an actual alien from space saves the day. Tries to make us buy into some utopian bullshit.
Tim: Hoffman's just going to drive you there.
Duke: Ha! He's not getting ME to a secondary location. He might be in on it.
Steph: Compelling, definitely compelling. I nominate Duke's for first place.
Jason: Don't jump the gun.
Tim: Yeah, you haven't heard ours.
Steph: Well? Let's hear it then.
Tim: I'm an alien spy, sent here to study humans. Only I'm not doing well because I was taken in by rich people and they act weirder than me. I want to know what it means to be human, but whenever I look around all I see is how to make a good margarita. It makes me... sad.
Steph: That's no good. We said wrong answers only.
Jason: Solid four out of ten.
Tim: Fuck off.
Jason: I think I would go because I was convinced I was the second coming of Jesus which is all fine and good, but my whole family is Jewish so it's making things a little awkward at the dinner table.
Steph: You did come back from the dead.
Jason: I did and I'll tell him that. Took a little longer than three days this time, though.
Tim: Okay, I'll be honest. Jason and Duke's are the best.
Dick: Hold on- Damian, do you have an answer?
Damian: Of course. And not one so foolish.
Duke: Well?
Damian: Well, my whole family is comprised of vigilantes and I'm under a lot of stress to be one as well and continue the family tradition. I will of course swear him to secrecy and avoid naming any vigilantes by name.
Dick: ...
Jason: This is what I'm talking about. This is exactly what I'm-
Dick: Yes, okay. Game's over. All of you are getting psych referrals in your inbox by the morning.
Steph: What about-
Dick: Duke won.
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lightwise · 1 month
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Omega is not okay
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I know we've all been over the moon about Crosshair and Hunter's dynamic in The Return, but I want to draw some attention to Omega in this episode, and something that I think Joel Aron is trying to draw attention to with his lighting choices.
Omega is not okay.
Joel has made pointed out many times that he loves doing reveal lighting (think the overhead light in Crosshair's cell or on the freighter at the end of A Different Approach giving him a halo, or how Hunter stops short of the overhead light on the Marauder before stepping out to greet Omega). And throughout this whole episode, the light is breaking over Crosshair and bathing him in warmth more and more. He is slowly returning the light and coming home to his family.
Omega, however, in nearly every single scene in this episode, is in shadow.
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Yes, her hairstyle is contributing to the fall of light on her face, and yes, she has her hat on while they're on Barton IV. But this is showing that her psychological state since they escaped Tantiss is uneasy, at best, and very conflicted and darkened, at worst. Even when she wakes up in the comfort and safety of the Marauder, she is shrouded in shadow. And even in scenes where the light wraps around and highlights Crosshair's face, Omega's is kept harshly defined, and she is often looking away from the "camera".
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Even when we see her somewhat happier at points in this episode, usually due to watching her brothers reconnect, her face is not as well lit as theirs.
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Omega kept her positivity and optimism at the forefront while she and Crosshair were in prison, and throughout most of their escape. It's what we most associate with her--being a ray of sunshine and encouragement for those around her. Now, however, she has the opportunity to relax a bit, for the adults to be handling certain things, and the trauma and perspective shift that she has just gone through is coming to the forefront.
Her survivors guilt, her shock at not being the only female clone, her confusion and questions over who she is and why she is so important, the cruelty she's seen Hemlock be capable of, and her continued empathy for anyone who is suffering is all swirling around in her in ways that she doesn't know what to do with yet. Yes, she has seen much suffering in the galaxy already in her short life, and has always been adamant about her need to help others. But ultimately it had never impacted her like this. Until now.
Crosshair has been broken and remade by his experiences. Omega is being broken and remade by hers as well. And I'm not sure the boys fully realize just how much yet.
Omega refuses to be left behind. She feels responsible for the fact that the rest of the clones are still on Tantiss. She feels guilty that she could have a chance at a life still and they don't. She feels an all-encompassing need to help them if she can, even though she is still young and vulnerable. This is ultimately going to conflict with Hunter's desires to keep her safe and hidden. Echo has already chosen the fight. Wrecker is willing to go wherever he's needed. Crosshair has been through too much to not be willing to fight back however necessary.
Hunter is going to eventually realize that while Omega is still a child, and does need to be protected, at the same time, her own sense of responsibility is going to eventually supersede his desires.
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Echo and Crosshair especially will be able to understand some of what she is feeling and hopefully help guide her through it. Hopefully, Omega will be able to reconcile who she is, what she is capable of, and what is outside of her ability to fix, sooner rather than later. But it's safe to say she will never be the same after this. At least she has a little bit of reprieve before facing whatever is next.
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gremlingottoosilly · 18 days
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What do u think of reader who was nice to König before the monster uprising? You think König will be extremely obsessed with them?
I can imagine the reader being a medic or a researcher in this scenario - maybe even a monster psychology expert, someone who believes that all monsters should be treated equally and that humans should strive for normalcy instead of discrimination. Your beliefs didn't save you from initially being set up as a pet in this newly build monster society - but you did had some familiar faces making sure you're not treated like the rest of the human scum.
You're a sunshine on the researching base, adorable little nurse or silly and clumsy assistant - you are not treated like breeding stock for the human pets, you're not sold off to someone who would use you as an incubator and, all things considered, you have a nice warm cell, food on the table and work under strick surveillance. You never knew why you got so lucky until a well over a few months in captivity, when you were suddenly called to the higher ranks. Stepping into the colonel's office, you never knew this would be the last time you saw the outside world for a long, long time.
Konig...adored you. Watched over you ever since he was a simple chained monster for the military, back in the days where he was used to beg for your affection - you barely remember him, being another twisted face in the crowd, but he would never forget your soft touch and gentle words. He is disappointed he wasn't as special to you as you were to him...but he can work with this. You don't have any choice except to beg for his affection now, and you will have to act like his pretty little wife if you want him to continue being so loving.
You have this weird position with his recruits, too - many of them remember how kind you were before everything happened, so they won't exactly bully you. If anything, they feel bad about you being pawned over to a man like Konig - but it won't really help you, to be quite honest. They are vigilant about letting you go anywhere besides colonel's quarters, but at least they are willing to bring you snacks and some desserts.
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zedecksiew · 2 months
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DECOLONISING D&D
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In 2019, after seeing yet another round of alarmist discourse in Xwitter about how Dungeons & Dragons is FULL of COLONIALIST tropes and patterns, and needs to be revised, SCRUBBED of its PROBLEMATIC FILTH---I rage-tweeted this brainfart:
"Decolonising D&D"
I've seen this thread round the community, since. Humza K quotes it in Productive Scab-picking: On Oppressive Themes in Gaming. Prismatic Wasteland quotes it in Apolitical RPGs Don't Exist. Most recently, it was referenced in a 1999AD post about Western TTRPGs (an interesting discussion on its own merit; one that already has a counterpoint from Sandro / Fail Forward.)
If folks are still referring to it five years later, maybe I should give the thread a little more credit? Perhaps the fart miasma has crystalised into something concrete.
In the interest of record / saving this thought from the ephemerality of Xwitter, here is the text in full, properly paragraphed, and somewhat more cleanly expressed:
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"DECOLONISING D&D"
Firstly: saying "D&D is colonialist" is similar to saying: "the English language is colonialist".
If your method of decolonising RPGs is to abandon D&D---well, some folks abandon English; they don't want to work in the language of the coloniser. More power to them!
For those who want to continue using the "language" of D&D---
Going forth into the "wild hinterland" (as if this weren't somebody's homeland);
to "seek treasure" (as if this didn't belong to anybody);
and "slay monsters" (monsters to whom?)
Yeah. There's some problematic stuff here, and definitely these aspects should make more people uncomfortable.
But! I think it is an error to "decolonise D&D" by scrubbing such content from the game.
That feels like erasure; like an unwillingness to face history / context; like a way to appease one's own settler guilt.
Do you live in the West? Do you live in any Asian urban metropole? White or Person of Colour(tm)---you are already complicit in colonialist / capitalist (yes, of course they are inextricably linked) behaviour. (I can't speak for urban metropoles elsewhere, but I bet they are similar centres of extraction.)
Removing such patterns from the TTRPGs you play might let you feel better, at your game table. But won't change what you are.
I think it is more truthful and more useful NOT to avert one's eyes from D&D's colonialism.
The fact that going forth into the hinterland to seek treasure and slay monsters is a thing, and fucking fun, tells us valuable things about the shape and psychology of colonialism. Why conquistadors in the past did it; why liberal foreign policy, corporations, and post-colonial societies do it today.
Speaking personally:
I write stuff that evokes / deals with the context I'm in---Southeast Asia. An intrinsic part of that is looking at the ways colonial violence has happened to us---as well as the ways / reasons we now, supposedly free, perpetrate it on others.
A long chain of suffering. Heavy stuff.
I also write for people who want to have fun / kill monsters / pretend to be elves, of course. But for those people who want to consider serious stuff like colonialism: I offer no FIGHT THE POWER righteousness, no good feeling, no answers.
Only discomfort. Because the truth is uncomfortable.
Here's a screenshot of the Author's Note for Lorn Song of the Bachelor:
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"Any text inspired by Southeast Asia has to reckon with colonialism ... This text presents a difficult situation; there are no easy solutions. "... If I offered a mechanical incentive for you to fight colonial invaders, you wouldn’t be making a moral decision, but a mercenary one. "The choice you face should echo ... the kind of calculus my grandparents faced."
I stand by that.
Also: might we be more precise and more careful about using the term "decolonising", please?
Here I quote Tuck and Yang's landmark and (sadly) still trenchant "Decolonization is not a metaphor":
"Decolonization brings about the repatriation of Indigenous land and life; it is not a metaphor for other things we want to do to improve our societies ..."
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Further Reading
So this post isn't just me reheating a hot take, here are some touchstone writings from around the TTRPG community about colonialism as a subject and mode of play in games:
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"Jim Corbett was called upon to hunt down another fifty maneaters over the course of the next 35 years. Together, those tigers had killed over 2000 people, for much the same reasons as the Champawat Tiger - injury, desperation, starvation, and habitat loss. Would you look at that. The root cause was British colonialism."
D&D Doesn't Understand What Monsters Are from Throne of Salt
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"Another effect of having colonizers in my setting would be giving players the opportunity to drive them away from the islands, their home. This maybe just be for the catharsis. After all, isn’t catharsis a big part of why we play roleplaying games?"
I’m Adding Colonizers To My Setting from Goobernut's Blog
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"When you have a slime boy and the other characters are a really fat lizard and one's playing Humpty Dumpty, it completely shatters the straight-faced serious authoritarian illusion of race, and replaces it with complete fucking nonsense. I love the idea of proliferating the number and types of "races" into absurdity, to the point where the entire logical structure of it collapses in on itself and race as a category ceases to become coherent or meaningful in any sense."
Interview with Ava Islam - Designer of the RPG Errant from Ava Islam / The Lost Bay
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"Perhaps most critically, the fundamental basis of power is not land or even money but manpower. That’s what local rulers fight over, and what Chinese commercial networks export, in return for unique island products. It’s what the European colonists really need (even if it’s not what they most desire). There is rich loot to be grabbed in the form of spices, Spanish silver, Indian gold, sea cucumbers (the Chinese love ’em), perfumes, dyes, cloth etc. so there’s ample opportunity for piracy, trade and smuggling, but the key to long-term success – the key to independent survival – is nakedly and unquestionably uniting people."
Counter-colonial Heistcrawl: previous high scores from Richard's Dystopian Pokeverse
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"They worked their own land—which they dispossessed from American Indians—or became small shop owners or opportunistic gold diggers or bounty hunters or itinerant ranchers. To me, substituting these situations for one ruled by industrial monopoly ignores that the Wild West is a perfect example of how capitalism operates outside of (or prior to) mass industry, instead being composed of self-employers and self-sustainers."
Fantastic Detours - Frontier Scum from Traverse Fantasy / Bones of Contention
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"... using the Western framing and D&D's baked-in imperialist and capitalist structure to get people earnestly participating in the experience of forming imperial power structures and the early roots of regional capitalism ... The PCs aren't the drifters on the train or the townsfolk watching with apprehension - they're the railroad itself."
An Arrow for the General: Confronting D&D-as-Western in the Kalahari from A Most Majestic Fly Whisk
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agustdiv1ne · 7 months
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taehyun as the nerd in your psychology class who gets hard watching you put on your lip gloss- 😳
AJKAKDKSKFJJWJFHS ADA. ADAAAAA. ok i am so sane i am so normal i am so sane and normal and AHHHH-
(MDNI!!!!)
taehyun sits across from you in lecture, glasses perched on high on his nose and always clothed in comfortable hoodies and jeans. his seat gives him a perfect view of you, the person who he's had a perverted little crush on since the very beginning of the semester. you're pretty, okay? smart too, always answering the professor's questions when you can and diligently taking notes every class without fail, the end of your pen placed primly between your parted lips.
those lips are fucking sinful, he thinks. they're plump and just oh so kissable, lip gloss never not applied — lip gloss that he's weirdly obsessed with. he likes watching it glint under the lights of the lecture hall whenever you speak, your voice a siren song in his ears as his cock twitches below the table he sits at. he wants to see that lip gloss smeared across your face while you're under him writhing with unadulterated pleasure. he wants to feel it the sticky liquid against his own lips, his neck, everywhere. what do you taste like? he bets you taste sweet, maybe like bubblegum or cotton candy or something fruity, if the pink color gracing your lips is anything to go by.
you're just about done answering the professor's question (something about freud, he isn't really paying attention at the moment) when your hand brandishes his favorite thing in the world: a tube full of that pink sticky stuff that he adores. with one last smile, your fingers untwist the tube and apply some more gloss to your lips, and taehyun's cock fully hardens below the table, a very obvious tent in his pants. fuck. right now, really?
yet he still can't bring himself to wrench his wanting gaze from your lips, taking in how they smack together a couple times and quirk into a small smile as you look at him — wait, you're looking at him. and down to his lap, and back up to his face.
oh. oh, no.
you're openly ogling his boner with a surprised, almost humored smile, eyes not leaving him as he shrinks into himself a little, his panicky hands shoving his hoodie over his lap. he's been caught, there's no way you don't think he's weird now. shit. squriming in his seat, he shoves his hood over his head, hunches over the table, and starts taking rapid notes, not looking back at you for the rest of the class.
although he tries his best to avoid you after class, you manage to catch him before he can leave his seat. with an air of confidence, you introduce yourself, your stray gaze passing over his lap. he gulps, offering his name, which causes you to smile. there goes that lip gloss again, shining, taunting him. he wants to cum on them, mix his white cum into that sheer pink — shit, stop thinking about that. think about freud. yeah, frued and his vomit-inducing contributions to psychology. yeah, perfect.
"hello?" you call, waving a hand in front of face. his eyes blink back into focus, finding yours again. "i asked if you wanna study together sometime?" you're biting your lip, looking hopeful. playful now, almost.
"yeah, that sounds great," he replies just as confidently, though every single drop is fake. inside, he's shaking like a leaf at the thought of the two of you alone together, how close you would be. so when you smile and give him your number, hitting him with a giddy, "bye, taehyun! see you thursday!" as you scurry off, he's left sitting there almost dumbfounded. his cock is still hard beneath his hoodie, but it seems as if everyone has vacated the lecture hall now, no sign of life anywhere. maybe, maybe...
he nearly moans aloud at the feeling of relief, his jeans quickly unzipped so he can grope himself harder. his eyes remain on the door as he continues. shit, he shouldn't be doing this. what if he gets caught? but it feels so fucking good, thinking about you and your pretty fucking lip gloss, imagining those lips around him as he fucks your throat. groaning, he whispers a curse out into the quiet air, a purr of your name. fuck, baby, feels so good.
too good. he really can't stop now, hand pumping his cock so fast that he fears his arm may cramp, messy precum everywhere — but he can risk being a bad student for once in his life, he thinks.
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miley1442111 · 25 days
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unfair- a.hotchner
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a/n: he's an asshole in this for a while btw. i wrote this with fem!reader in mind but i don't think there's any mention of it so imagine what you like! mad spoilers for season 3 episode 20- Lo-fi (aka i verbatim copied dialogue from it). 'ly' means 'love you'
summary: what happens when Aaron is met with an ex-fling in the workplace that seems to hate you, surely he'll be by your side, right?
pairings: aaronhotchner x reader, platonicBAUteam x reader
warnings: general criminal minds topics, mentions of murder, mentions of panic attacks, general relationship angst, reader getting hurt, mentions of guns and bullet wounds, mentions of death, suggestive themes at the end
Part 2
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You hated New York. You hated the bustling crowds, the rude people, and the barely breathable air. 
“Is it just me or does Agent Kate kinda look like Haley?” you overheard Jj say, and your heart dropped. Aaron and Haley had only been legally divorced for a few months, but they’d been separated for a lot longer than that. Your relationship with Aaron had grown into a 10 months long rollercoaster of highs and lows. He was hard on himself about the divorce, about not seeing Jack enough, but you were always there to comfort him. Jj blushed when she realised you’d heard and mouthed a ‘sorry’ your way. You nodded as an acceptance of her apology and continued with the case. 
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Kate had been shooting down your ideas all day. It could’ve been something as simple as lunch ideas, or something relating to the case, she didn’t care. Your input was unnecessary and unwanted. This led you, the only licensed psychologist on the team to be silent as Aaron, Kate and the nypd cops bounced ideas and facts about the psychology of the unSubs back and forth. You knew that what they were saying was outdated. You knew it, and yet you kept your mouth shut, not wanting to give her another reason to silence you. You weren’t even that mad at her, more at Aaron. Why wasn’t he speaking up for you? He alway did before and he promised he would intervene if someone was being unfair and not listening to you in the workplace. He made that promise to the entire team. You were hurt by him, and by the rumours you’d heard. And then you thought back, since you’d gotten to New York, he’d barely glanced your way, his eyes focused on the case or Kate. Derrick slumped in the chair beside you, pulling you out of your thoughts. 
“She’s a real piece of work, everything I say is just the wrong thing,” He complained, a tired tone in his voice.
“Want to go back to the hotel? I could use an early night if no one is going to utilise us,” you offered, exhaustion and hurt guiding you against your better judgement. 
“Sounds like a plan, sugar, you and me sharing like old times?” he asked tentatively, clearly sensing the upset you were carrying. 
“You and me Derrick, as always,” you smiled. You had known before-hand that the hotel only had so many rooms and in the beginning of the BAU, you and Derrick would always share, since he was the person you were closest with. He took your hand and gave it a small squeeze before standing up to gather his things. You stood up too, grabbing your bag and coat. 
“Leaving so soon?” Kate asked, clearly malicious intent behind her eyes. 
“Yeah, just tired and all, listening to you spew absolute bullshit is exhausting,” you yawned and gave her a fake smile as her jaw dropped. Aaron sent you a look of warning, one you met with your own hardened eyes. “Goodnight,” you waved at the cops you had befriended, who waved back, all too happy that someone had finally put Shelly in her place. 
Derrick and you walked to the hotel hand in hand, just as you used to, he got the room key, you showered in the bathroom as he watched tv, then vice versa. You texted Aaron a simple, ‘sharing with Derrick. Ly xxx’ before you let yourself fall asleep, comfortable in the clean hotel bed. 
—----------------------------------------------------------------------------
You always wrote it out. He thought to himself as he rushed to the hotel, mere minutes after you sent the text. He had been tired and maybe his vision was clouded with Shelly, an old fling of his if he was being honest. He pulled at his tie in the elevator as he caught his breath. When the doors opened on the floor of your room, he found you standing on the other side, your eyes semi-shut as if to try and conserve your drowsy state, a habit he knew you possessed and loved. This brought an ease to him, a small smile made its way onto his lips. You had your headphones on too, which meant you really were sharing with Derrick. His smile dropped. 
“Honey,” he sighed and you yawned and rubbed your eyes. 
“Aaron?”
“Yes honey, can we talk-”
“In the morning,” You cut him off, “I’m just getting ice. The ice machine on this floor is out of order.”
“It technically is 1:34 am,” he corrected and you sent him a glare. He shut his mouth. “Can I at least kiss you goodnight?” 
“I don’t know, is your mouth not too tired from kissing Kate’s ass today?” You stifled a chuckle at your own joke as he sighed. 
“Honey if you let me-” 
“Please, for the love of god, shut up, I’m too tired for this,” You got off as the doors opened and closed them behind you, pushing the button back to his floor. You grabbed your ice and took the stairs instead of risking him being there. You got back into your room and fell asleep again, even more to think about. 
—----------------------------------------------------------------------------
You walked into the police precinct with Spencer, ready to help him with his geological profile when Aaron stopped in front of you, and Spencer continued walking on. 
“We need to talk,” he essentially demanded and you rolled your eyes and tried to push past him to follow Spencer but he grabbed your waist and started walking you both into an empty interrogation room. 
“Are you planning on interrogating me?” You chuckled as he let go of your waist and started pacing around the room. “What is the problem here?” You asked. 
“Why don’t you tell me? Something I did made you so upset that you decided you wouldn’t sleep in the same bed as me, something I did made you not tell me you love me, and something I did made you not let me kiss you goodnight. So please, just tell me!” He was frantic, the early signs of a panic attack clear in his body language and face. 
“Aaron, come here,” you walked over to him, wrapping your arms around his neck to hold him. His hands pulled you closer to him, squeezing you tight into his chest. “I was just mad about Kate not taking mine or Derrick’s ideas, and how you didn't help either of us out. I just wanted some space to clear my head-”
“Were you jealous?” He asked, pulling away from you.
“No? I was frustrated that mine and Derrick’s ideas were being shot down, this has nothing to do with Kate.” 
“Then why did you say what you said last night? It made her deeply upset,” he explained and you rolled your eyes. 
“Because it was true? Maybe next time, let the registered and licensed psychologist with 2 phDs speak?” 
His eyes were trained on you. “Not everything always has to be about you, some people are very sensitive to things like that-” 
“I’m starting to think I should be jealous of Kate” you knew it was a low blow but it was one you were willing to take. “I’ll see you around, agent.”
You left Aaron alone in the room, a frown that was bound to stay all day. 
—----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Derrick had been right to station BAU team members on platforms and we were about to have another body. 
“Hotchner,” a brief pause. “Does it look like it could be one of our guys?” Aaron spoke into the phone.
“What’s going on?” Derrick asked, 
“We’ve got eyes on one of them, he’s on the subway platform at 59th and lex,” Aaron’s eyes met yours and you looked away, focused on Penelope’s voice over the phone..  
“59th? We could have been right there,” Derrick sighed, clearly frustrated with Aaron’s behaviour. 
“Garcia, can you get eyes on him above ground?” 
“If he makes it to the park, we've lost him,” Kate explained.
“We could've had that guy,” Derrick stressed. 
“Even if we were on that platform, odds are he would have moved on to somewhere more isolated,” Kate argued. 
“Maybe, but it was worth taking a shot,” Derrick shot back.
“We had every available man on the street,” She scoffed.
“And I suggested to you that you use this team,” Derrick seethed. 
“Second-guessing doesn't do us any good right now,” Aaron piped up. 
“Hotch, how am I supposed to look these cops in the eye and tell them that we're actually here to help them?” Derrick demanded, even you were getting angry now.
“We're here to present a profile. That's what we need to do,” Aaron said in that terrible deadpanned voice that made you want to shake him until he was the real Aaron again. Your Aaron. 
“I said to put us at express stops- 14th, 42nd, 59th and that's exactly where they hit!” Derrick snapped.
“It's not your place to have this discussion,” Aaron crossed a line with that.
“My place?” Derrick questioned.
“You need to back off,” Aaron scolded. 
“We got 7 bodies, man,” Derrick said, shocked that Aaron would ever treat him like this.
“Which is exactly why we need to stay focused,” Aaron countered.
“Focused. From where I'm standing, All your focus is on her, not on this case, you're ignoring your girlfriend, so it's not on y/n, but on her,” Derrick rebutted. 
“Take a walk, now.” 
You gasped when Derrick called him out, but as Derrick walked off he offered you a hand, one which you took, and left Aaron with Kate. Derrick left to go ‘take a walk’ to a bar nearby and you sat in an office, going over the case with Emily and Spencer. You all ended up sleeping in the office, you chose to be as far away from Aaron as possible. The next day, you were positioned with Emily. 
“How’s it going with Aaron?” She asked and you let out a groan. “That good huh?”
“He’s being such a dick, I have no clue what to do,” You sighed. 
“Maybe talking to him will help?” She offered and you shot her a glare. 
“He doesn’t want to hear me, he just wants to talk,” you explained, hopping off the train and walking up the platform steps. You heard a gunshot and looked around, knowing he was close. 
“Garcia? Where is he?” Emily asked.  “He’s headed our way.” You ran towards the way he was coming from and spotted him, chasing him the other way. You were faster than Emily and stopped in the alleyway. He shot. He grazed your side and Emily shot him and grabbed his gun. 
“Y/l/n?! You ok?” She called back to you. 
“It was just a graze, I’m fine,” You took a deep breath as the adrenaline wore off and the pain started to seep in. Emily and you waited for the ambulance and you started getting stitched up as the rest of the team arrived. Derrick came straight to you, Aaron hot on his heels.
“You good sugar?” He asked and you nodded as the needle went back into your skin. 
“Not my first bullet, probably not my last,” you joked and you saw Aaron’s eyes widen. Spencer and Jj shot you a look of concern from behind Aaron and you sent them a thumbs up, Spencer and Jj nodded, understanding that you were ok.
“Can I have a minute alone, please?” Aaron cleared his throat and Derrick rolled his eyes but obliged anyway, walking away. “Are you ok?” 
“Yeah, great. Nothing like a bullet wound to put a pep in your step,” you remarked, sarcasm flowing freely. They finished with the stitches and put a dressing on the wound. As soon as you were out of the paramedics hands, Aaron wrapped you in an all-consuming hug. 
“I was so worried,” he whispered. 
“Yeah, so was I, I didn’t think you could get your head out of your ass in time,” you snorted, hearing others laugh at your joke. Aaron rolled his eyes and cracked a smile. 
“I was being unfair, wasn’t I,” he sighed, his hands resting on your waist. 
“Yes, yes you were.” 
“I love you, and I’m sorry I didn’t show it,” he offered and you smiled and kissed him softly. 
“You know it’s going to take a bit more than a few pretty words and a hug to make this right, right?”
“Oh I know, but I was hoping you would at least be in the same bed as me tonight? Then I can at least start apologising,” he smirked and you laughed. 
“Maybe,” you mused. 
—----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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cameronspecial · 20 days
Note
good morning, good afternoon or good night depending on the time you see this . Excuse my English, I'm using the translator.I wanted to ask for an imagine about dad Rafe, where his son (Theo/Luca or whatever name you prefer) besides being jealous of his mother (not letting Rafe give him kisses, pushing him so they don't hug, etc.) at his young age He starts calling Rafe "Rafe" instead of "Papa", I think it would be a nice imagine
Oedipus Rex
Pairing: Dad! Rafe Cameron x Reader
Warnings: Jealous Rafe.
Pronouns: She/Her
Word Count: 0.6K
A/N: This is a great idea and don't worry, your English is great!
Masterlist
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Theo is the love and entire world of Rafe’s life, along with Y/N of course. However, right now, all Rafe wants to do is force his son to stay in his room. Not because his son is being bad, but because Rafe is jealous of the child. Y/N’s eyes are on the TV while Theo is snuggled under her arm. For the past three minutes, Rafe has been trying to sit on her other side so he can watch with her, but every time he steps closer, Theo’s eyes narrow at his dad. Deciding to ignore his son’s judgment, he plops down beside his wife and leans over to kiss her. Theo has other plans though, leaving Rafe’s lips to fall on his hand. Rafe’s eyebrows knot together and he groans, sitting back up to continue watching. 
———
Y/N has just returned home from work and Rafe goes to greet her. Before he can kiss his wife, tiny footsteps patter past him and Theo throws himself into his mom’s arms. She leans down to pick him up in her arms. Theo peppers his mom's cheek with kisses. The boy pulls back and Rafe goes in to try to kiss his wife; however, Theo’s tiny hand places itself on his dad’s shoulder and pushes him away. “No, my mommy,” he protests, wrapping his arms around his mom’s neck. Rafe looks to her for back up and she only shrugs, “I think he is probably just hangry. Why don’t we get him something to eat?” “Okay. I just think it is unfair that he gets all of your cuddles,” he grumbles, following his family to the kitchen. 
———
Rafe has to set his foot down at some point and it is definitely going to be now. When he got out of the bathroom after he finished getting ready from bed, he found Theo in bed with his wife. His son is pressed up against Y/N, cuddling at her side. “I thought he was supposed to be sleeping in his own room now. He’s six. That’s old enough to be sleeping by himself,” Rafe complains. He gets into bed and tries to bring his wife to his side, yet Theo stops him. “No, Rafe. I can only cuddle Mommy.” Hearing his son say his legal name crosses his line. “My name is Papa to you, Theo. I’m your dad, not your friend,” he criticizes, crossing his arms over his chest. Theo ignores his father and falls asleep instead. Once he is sure his son is sleeping, Rafe leans over to whisper in Y/N’s ear, “I don’t like how possessive he is of you.” She giggles with a shake of her head, her fingers lacing through Theo’s hair. “I can think of two reasons why he is acting like this. One. He is going through the phallic stage of Freud’s psychosexual stages, which means he is experiencing the Oedipus complex. He sees you as a threat and wants to replace you. But I think that one is creepy, so my favourite is number two. He is just modelling your possessive behaviour. I told you it was going to bite you in the ass one day,” she rattles off, reminding Rafe of the fact that she has a doctorate in psychology. Annoyance flashes on his face, “Ugh, why does my amazing wife have to be so smart? You did tell me so and I didn’t listen to you, so I’m sorry. If I had known I was teaching him to be a little asshole, then I would’ve listened to you.” She giggles with a shake of her head. “You didn’t just call our son an asshole,” she baffles. Rafe shrugs, “Act like an asshole, get called an asshole. It’s okay though. I’m going to stop being possessive and he’ll stop acting like an asshole. I promise.” She rolls her eyes. “I highly doubt that is going to happen, but whatever you say,” she says, turning to turn the lights off. Rafe copies her actions and lies against his pillow. “Goodnight, I love you,” he bids her. “I love you too, goodnight.”
Taglist: @winterrrnight @loves0phelia @thelomlisrafecameron @wickedlovely121 @thepatriarchykeychain @drewsmusee @starkowswife @maybankslover @forstarkey @loving-and-dreaming @magicalyoura
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writingsonsaturn · 24 days
Note
Tim having a younger girlfriend who gets princess treatment from him, she very obviously in love with Tim, and nobody at the station believes he has a girlfriend, so one day she shows up and work and everyone gets to see and meet her and see just how much she has Tim wrapped around her finger <3
Sorry if it doesn't make sense
puppy love - tim bradford
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{ masterlist }
🪐: hopefully this lives up to what you were thinking!! i did my best to capture all the main elements that you wanted in the story <33
word count: 1039
⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒
Tim was notorious for being a hardass, his rough demeanor and strict ways of teaching made him seem like a total douchebag, for lack of a better word.
However, for you, he was a ball of sunshine, just don't let anyone else know that. 
Tim was awoken to the deafening sound of his alarm clock, he looked over at the red numbers, the clock reading “6:00am”, he sighed and reached a hand over to turn the blaring sound off. He turned over at the movement of your sleeping body, his hand now brushing through your hair with a small smile on his lips, waking up wasn't so bad when he got to see your face every morning.
You woke up gently at the new warmth that was on your head, “do you have to leave today?” you whispered with annoyance, one eye looking at him while the other stayed shut hoping to retain some sleep “unfortunately i do, baby, but i'll be home in time for our date” he responds, leaning over and kissing your forehead. 
He gets out of bed and heads for the closet putting on his uniform, once he’s done getting ready he reaches for his duty belt and gun that he keeps in his nightstand. Finally he leans over to give you one last kiss goodbye, “i love you, i’ll text you on break” you felt his lips move, “i love you too, be safe and come home to me” you respond as he walks out of the room gently shutting the door.
You shortly go back to sleep to get extra shuteye before having to go to your 9:00 am psychology class.
===
Tim made it to work early, going into the locker room and putting his duffle bag full of extra clothes and little snacks that you had snuck in there “just in case”, once he left the locker room he made his way to the debriefing room. “Hey Tim, you still owe me the 13 bucks for that burrito i bought you last week” Angela points out, while walking in behind him “ah right” he groans pulling out his wallet simply forgetting the little photo he kept of you in there.
The photo fell on the ground as Tim pulled out the cash, Angela reached down holding the picture “who is that?” she wonders while looking at the piece of paper “my girlfriend” he responds while holding out the $13, “you? You have a girlfriend?” she jokes “yeah, and i'm a millionaire” she finished sarcastically and walked away to sit down in her seat.
Tim just silently rolled his eyes and put your photo back in the safety of his wallet, after Grey gave his briefing, Angela and Nyla both started talking about Tim’s “girlfriend” the others overheard and suddenly everyone knew about Tim’s private life. 
“Tim has a girlfriend?” Lucy questioned, while walking over the group and grinning. “That’s what he claims, when he was paying me back a photo slipped out of his wallet and when i asked who it was he said it was his girlfriend, but i don't know who would torture themselves like that” she explained, Nolan had his eyebrows raised “come on guys, Tim can’t be that bad” Nolan continued “he probably just doesn't like us” he smiled making the others laugh. 
“Okay! Are you guys ready to stop being a bunch of highschoolers and gossiping about my love life so we can, I don't know, do our job?” Tim dead panned, they all quietly snickered, and some started getting ready to head out.
Tim heard the faint call of his name, and fast feet, “Tim! you forgot your lunch!” you spoke quickly while softly jogging towards him. “That’s what i forgot, thank you baby” Tim mentally smacked himself for forgetting the meal you had prepared for him the night before. You smiled at him, rushing as you had to get back to the campus as you had a final in 45 minutes.
Everyone looked slightly gobsmacked, realizing that Tim was in fact not lying about having a girlfriend, Angela came up to the love sick couple, “so you’re the pretty lady Tim keeps in his wallet” she spoke with playfulness, “you must be Angela! Tim talks about you all the time, im (Y/N)” you introduced yourself with a big smile. Tim smiled at you with all the love in the world, looking at you while you introduced yourself to his friends and colleagues. 
“As much as i would absolutely love talking to you guys more, i have a really important test i have to go take” you explained with haste, everyone was extremely understanding and wished you good lucks, “One last thing, Tim, before you come home will you please pick up milk from the store? I used it all this morning” everyone looked at Tim awaiting his response “Yes ma’am” he complied, you kissed his cheek and gave everyone a last goodbye before leaving.
“Man she has you utterly whipped” Aaron spoke, while shaking his head, “yeah, you are so done for sir” Celina giggled. Tim looked at both of them with a stern face immediately making them shut up and get back to doing whatever they were doing. 
“I'm glad you found someone Tim, you deserve a good person” Lucy quietly mentioned, Tim gave a silent nod of acknowledgement letting Lucy know that what she said meant a lot to him as she left and continued on with her duties.
Tim carried on with his day, doing paperwork, and counting the minutes until he came home to you.
Once he got off of work, he made sure he picked up milk and even got you you're favorite snack, as soon as he got home you two made dinner together and sat at the kitchen table, you told him how you’re very sure you passed your final with flying colors, and he told you about the mountains of paperwork that made him wish he was in bed watching a stupid reality show with you instead. 
When it was time for bed you and Tim continued to talk about random thoughts, and your futures together before you both drifted into a peaceful sleep.
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starlightxsvt · 11 months
Text
Bloodily Safe | j.ww
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pairing ➳ psychopath!wonwoo x fem!reader
genre ➳ psychological thriller? camgirl au(read note below), college au, smut
word count ➳ 18.5k
warnings ➳ toxic relationship, blackmailing, drinking, descriptive domestic abuse, death, manipulation, threatening, fingering, slapping, choking, marking, cum eating, degradation, virgin sex, unprotected sex, rough sex, humiliation kink, pain kink, psychopathic behaviours, very descriptive violence, blood, rape attempt, arson, murder (lmk if I forgot smth)
synopsis ➳ you have a little secret. one you are desperately hiding. yet the boy you have a crush on has figured it out. now a game of cat and mouse has begun. how do you make it out alive?
disclaimer:❗ I am, by no means an expert in behavioural abnormalities so please keep in mind that this is a work of fiction. I tweaked the story and their characteristics to my needs so please don't take this seriously. Also, this fic contains some highly sensitive topics so please read the warnings carefully. Do not interact if you are sensitive to these things ❗
note: reader isn't a camgirl in the typical sense, she basically reads erotica on live.
loosely based on the kdrama shadow beauty
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I.
The glaring red light of the camera lens blinks at you as pause for a moment between your reading. Your tablet sits on your lap, glowing brightly in the lowly lit room as 8 thousand viewers watch you live through the lens.
With a sigh, you continue reading in your best teasing voice.
Your mouth hangs open in a silent scream as you feel him release inside you, making you clench. You’re not surprised when he doesn’t stop but continues thrusting inside you, far from being done with you and you feel another orgasm impending. Your pussy hurts in the best ways possible and just thinking about coming once again have your toes curling.
Surprising you, one of his hands move onto your neck, gripping it firmly and applying just enough pressure to make your body curl up and see stars. It triggers your orgasm, multiplying it by hundreds and seeing the godlike man on top of you, reaching his high, his dark, predatory eyes trained on you makes you go off like a rocket. You swear you see God himself as your body completely lets go and you feel like you’re floating in a place of pure bliss. The feeling of him releasing inside you makes you shudder before he slips out and shuffles on the bed, probably cleaning you up but you’re too gone to care.
With a blissful smile and a hazy mind, you let sleep take you.
"That will be all for today guys. Thank you so much for tuning in. I'll be back on Thursday night!" You wave at the camera as soon as you finish and do your signature pose— making half hearts on your cheeks with your hands as the viewers leave comments asking you to stay a bit longer. Sending a flying kiss towards the camera you turn off your live and watch as the screen loads to show you how much you've earned for the two-hour live. Once the number pops up, you sigh with satisfaction and finally, take off the mask that you wear to conceal your identity.
After all, you wouldn't want people, especially your classmates or professors to find out you read erotica live in skimpy underwear and flirt with people to earn some extra bucks.
Well, a girl's gotta do what she gotta do.
Quickly changing out of the uncomfortable lingerie, you put on a comfortable t-shirt and crawl to bed with your laptop to check if the money has been transferred to your account. The camming website takes 20% of whatever you earn from each live yet the amount left is enough for you to make your work worthwhile.
Camming was never in your mind at all, even in your wildest dreams. Yet when your mother fell sick last year and the medical bills started piling up, you knew you had to find some easy way to earn good money. Then, one day, you overheard a couple of girls in class talking about camming and how good the money is.
Simply curious, you visited the website only to be unlocked to a whole new world. Thousands of people did a variety of adult content there but you were not brave enough to get naked from the start. So you opted for a safer option, reading erotica on live while wearing lingerie and flirting with the camera.
The first time you did it was only to test the waters using whatever equipment you had at hand but surprisingly, the response you got shocked you. So it started, you doing lives two days a week and earning enough money to pay for your mother's treatment and your college bills.
nerdycatboy wants to chat with you
The notification appears on your screen, telling you someone wants to talk to you privately on the camming website. You generally block these messages as most of them ask for nudes or send dick picks. Still, you click on it and watch as three dots appear, your fingers hovering over the block option, ready to press it as soon as the sender sends something inappropriate.
Surprising you, the message reads:
[nerdycatboy]: Hello, cherrybaby!
Today was the second time I watched your live.
You have a really beautiful voice.
I don't frequent these sites but I opened an account just to send you tips. Hope you received them.
Somewhat flattered, you type out a reply.
[you]: Thank you so much. I'm flattered to hear that. And yes, I received them.
[nerdycatboy]: You're welcome.
Also, I wanted to tell you something.
[you]: Sure.
[nerdycatboy]: I know who you are.
[you]: Excuse me?
[nerdycatboy]: ______. ______ of the Psychology department, Seoul University.
You're studying on scholarship.
Wanna know something funny?
I am your classmate ;D
Your throat feels something akin to a desert as you blink at the screen, praying for it to be a hallucination. The words, however, don't change and the daunting realization hits you.
Someone has figured out your identity.
Someone knows it's you.
But who?
Shit, who? Who could it possibly be?
You share your classes with almost eighty other people and it's impossible to guess this... stalker.
You're absolutely fucked.
It has only been a month since college started and you are doomed. What if whoever this is, exposes your identity and you are expelled?
Dear almighty, please let this be a dream.
A sudden ping! alerts you about another message, making you jump. Carefully, you open the chat to see what your stalker has to say.
[nerdycatboy]: Come on now, don't leave me on read.
You wouldn't want me to get angry now, would you?
A squeak of despair leaves your lips as your fingers nervously hover over the keyboard.
[you]: What do you want?
[nerdycatboy]: To play a game.
This really isn't looking good.
[you]: Please, just leave me alone.
[nerdycatboy]: Ey, where's the fun in that? Come on now, we'll just play silly little games.
You stare at the screen, your world coming down crashing on you as you wonder in the back of your mind, whether you should stop camming for good. Even if you wanted to, it's not possible.
Who's gonna pay for your mom's bills?
[nerdycatboy]: You there?
[you]: Yes.
[nerdycatboy]: Good. I'll come again before your next live. We're gonna play a little game then, okay?
You stare at the screen in silence.
[you]: Okay.
[nerdycatboy]: That's a good girl. In the meantime, have fun trying to figure out who I am. We see each other every day after all. It's just that you wouldn't know who I am.
You grind your teeth, holding back the urge to type all sorts of curse words you can think of.
[nerdycatboy]: Bye bye, now. Sleep tight.
[you]: Fuck you, loser.
You slam your laptop shut and lie in silence, curled up in your bed. The only way out seems to be to permanently delete your account but that is not an option for you. It is also quite literally impossible for you to figure out who it is. You don't even know if it's a guy or a girl or a goddamn fucking alien.
As the night grows deeper you only start to get more anxious and only when the sun starts to rise in the sky, do you fall asleep, your dreams plagued by the haunting messages from earlier.
II.
"_____? _____!"
The deep voice jolts you awake as you blink around, taking time to realize that you've fallen asleep on your desk during the lecture which now seems to have ended as you see everyone around you packing their bags and leaving.
A man stands next to your desk, holding a few sheets of paper towards you and you blink at them, confused.
"The professor gave us the answer sheet for last week's quiz. You seem to have fallen asleep during class." He says.
Your brain finally starts functioning just enough to realize it's Wonwoo talking to you.
Jeon Wonwoo.
The famous nerd, the genius, the pro gamer, the campus crush, the it boy and...
The man of your dreams.
"Right! Right, thank you," you croak, reaching for the sheets with one hand while trying to wipe the corners of your mouth for any drool.
"It's alright." He replies, as impassive as ever. His expression remains somber as always as he regards you through his glasses. Sometimes you wonder if he's a robot. Even though you have known him since high school, you've yet to see the man smile or shout or show any vivid emotion. He has always been the quiet type, keeping to himself, always studying or doing whatever intelligent people does.
He was the most popular guy in high school, loved by all, even the teachers, because of his perfect and polite demeanor and extraordinary results that got him many awards at the national level. The fame followed him to college too as you have seen in the last two months; with women and even some men flocking around him. You are not ashamed to admit you are one of them too, but not like it matters.
Jeon Wonwoo seems to be living in a completely different world.
"No, thanks, really." You reply, slightly awkward, not knowing what else to say exactly. He nods and slings his backpack over his shoulder and turns around to walk away. He seems to have a thought as he turns his head and asks, "Rough night? I haven't seen you doze off in class ever. You are always on top of your game."
Holy shit, that is the most amount of words he has spoken to you. Scratch that, that's the most you've ever heard him speak at a time.
And more importantly, he has been paying attention to you?? He notices you enough to know that you don't doze off?
Swallowing, you try not to let your face break out into a grin. "Yeah kind of," you mumble. He nods and spares you a glance before walking out of the classroom as you watch his lean, athletic frame from behind, a soft sigh escaping from your lips.
After he's gone, you pack up your stuff, mentally face-palming yourself for falling asleep during class. Not only did you fail to keep an eye out for your stalker but you also made a fool of yourself in front of Wonwoo.
What a great day!
III.
The next Thursday, a delivery from an anonymous person comes to you just a couple of hours before your live. A handwritten note sits on top as you open the package and your gut sinks once you realize who it's from.
Hello there, little cherry!
Please accept my lovely gift. Wear it in your live today unless you want your secret to be out ;)
Also, wear something black with it.
Love, your new best friend!
You crumple the note in your hand as you eye the package nervously, dread filling your veins as your mind tries to conjure what the item might be. Hands shaky, you reach for it to rip it open and then stand in silence as you gaze at it for a while.
The asshole sent you a cat costume.
A sexy cat costume.
More specifically a pair of black cat ears, a cat mask, a pair of paws and a... fucking tail.
Absolutely mortified at the idea of wearing these provocative items on live, you sink onto the floor, an utter sense of despair settling over you.
Sweet lord, this has to be a joke.
Quickly logging in to the camming website you type your new best friend a message.
[you]: You're kidding me, right? Please tell me this is a joke.
The asshole is very quick to reply.
[nerdycatboy]: I see you have received my gift. No, little cherry, I am not kidding.
You grind your teeth, eyes burning holes in the screen.
[you]: I can't wear that on live!
[nerdycatboy]: Why not? You'll look absolutely lovely. The black really goes with your skin tone.
Oh for fucks sake.
[you]: Are you a fucking furry?
There are several minutes of silence.
[nerdycatboy]: You are fucking cute you know that? I don't remember the last time I laughed this hard.
[nerdycatboy]: No, cherry, I am not a furry. I just like cats and you remind me of one. I bet if I touched you, you'd purr real good.
You would never admit how that text sent a jolt of shiver down your spine and made your toes curl.
[you]: Please, can you not do this?
[nerdycatboy]: Come on now, don't whine. It won't get you anywhere.
[nerdycatboy]: I'll tune in later. If you do not do as you're told you know what will happen...
[nerdycatboy]: Ah, I forgot. You don't have to wear the tail during your live. It will be uncomfortable to sit with. Just send me a picture later, hmm?
[nerdycatboy]: Bye now.
Fucking mother of all fucks.
You toss your phone on the bed, groaning out loud in frustration. The cat ears and mask sit next to you on the floor, mocking you in silence.
IV.
"Hello, my darlings! This is your favorite cherrybaby, back with you. Today I'll be reading the second chapter of Sugar & Spice!"
The comments, as you expected, go nuts over your outfit— the black cat ears with the mask, covering the better half of the top of your face, the furry paws paired with a lace black lingerie. Despite your initial thoughts of ignoring them, you decide to address them with their never ending onslaught.
"Everyone is talking about my little props today." You pause for an awkward chuckle. "Well, I thought I would spice things up. Aren't these cute?"
You can hear the stiffness in your own voice. Shaking it off, you read a few comments while waiting for the live to reach your minimum number of tips, which only takes a few minutes today before you start reading the erotica.
Throughout the live, u have no idea if the asshole has joined in and you almost start to think that maybe he has left you for good, that maybe it was a one time prank. However during the last ten minutes of your live, as you proceed to wrap it up you see the notification that bring your eyes to your forehead.
nerdycatboy gifted you 500$.
Holy shit.
Holy fucking shit.
As soon as your live is finished you shoot him a private message.
[you]: Didn't think you'd be that pleased to see me dressed up as a cat.
[nerdycatboy]: Oh cherry, I was pleased alright. You were an absolute sight for sore eyes.
[you]: Thank you I guess?
[nerdycatboy]: Welcome. Now send me some pictures. Wearing the tail.
[you]: Can you answer a question first?
[nerdycatboy]: No promises.
You sigh. Here goes.
[you]: Are you a guy or a girl?
[nerdycatboy]: Why? Wouldn't send me the pictures if I was a girl?
You roll your eyes.
[you]: Just trying to narrow down my suspect list.
[nerdycatboy]: Cute. Keep trying. I am a guy. The man straight out of your nightmares, as you will start to find out.
Okay...
There are many many guys in your class, literally half of the total students. It's impossible to figure him out among them.
[nerdycatboy]: Now the pictures, cherry. Don't keep me waiting.
His message breaks your train of thought as you sigh, defeated. Telling him to wait while you fetch the stupid cat tail and clip it on your underwear. You're too humiliated to look in the mirror so instead you place your tripod on the bed with your phone and pose a couple of times or so, one from the front and one from the back.
As you scroll through them, you cannot bring yourself to believe you just took these pictures and let alone you're about to send them to someone. Each of them is equally provocating and humiliating. Before you start to think too much you bite your lip hard and send, watching as he views your message.
[you]: There you go, asshole.
[nerdycatboy]: Only three?
[you]: Take it or leave it. I'm tired.
You reply, not caring to be polite. The frustration and humiliation get to you as you rip the stupid things off your body and toss them away before falling on your bed and lying face down in silence.
[nerdycatboy]: Getting feisty. It's okay, I'm feeling kind today so I'll let you go.
[nerdycatboy]: Until next time, little cherry. xoxo
You watch his messages, a numbing feeling of defeat settling over you as you turn off your phone and push it away.
Even though you desperately want to think of nothing a thought continues to nag you. A shameful, despicable thought that you just can't seem to ignore.
You might be really enjoying being humiliated by an unknown man on the internet. How truly absurd, no? You let out a scream of frustration into the pillow. A faceless, seemingly rich man who has a kink of humiliating you is keeping your mind awake and body restless at night.
How did it ever get to this?
V.
[nerdycatboy]: I've been thinking about your task for tomorrow and finally made a decision.
[you]: Okay...
[nerdycatboy]: Wear a white shirt. Nothing more, nothing less.
[you]: Excuse me?
[nerdycatboy]: You heard me all right, little cherry.
You keep staring at the message as if looking at it long enough will make it disappear. It definitely doesn't. In fact, it gets worse.
[nerdycatboy]: And keep the top two buttons undone. Showing a little cleavage won't hurt. And wear red lipstick.
You keep staring at your screen, wondering in the back of your mind for the nth time just how your life came to be this.
God sure loves to test you.
[you]: I'm not a harlot you know.
[nerdycatboy]: Never said you were one. Besides what's wrong with being a one?
Him and his way with words. You roll your eyes, your fingers pressing the keys on the keyboard angrily.
[you]: If I wear white my tits will show.
[nerdycatboy]: That's exactly the point.
A seething rage envelopes your entire being as you clench both of your fists, inhaling a few deep breaths to stop yourself from smashing something. Ever since you came across this asshole you're realizing you've unlimited anger that you never thought you had in you.
[you]: Whatever, dick.
You reply and shut off your computer in an unsuccessful attempt to block him out.
However, the next day, you do end up doing your live in a plain thin white shirt which of course, makes the chatbox go up in flames.
Within a minute of starting your live, comments about your outfit start flooding in.
Fuck, you look so hot!
The red lips suit you so much!!
Yo, I can see her nipples.
You're getting bolder these days. Love to see it!!!
I'll pay anything for you to take the shirt off.
Swallowing, you ignore the crude comments and start with your usual greeting. "As you can see, everyone, my outfit is a bit risky today. Just thought I'd venture into something new." You force a laugh.
Did she lose a bet or something?
Yes, we need more risky outfits. How about being topless next time?
It's a downpour of all types of comments but you can't let them get to you. So you start reading the erotica instead, reading one or two decent comments every now and then for the next two hours. The view count is insane, the highest you've ever had and the number of tips are also sky high.
A tiny, tiny part of you is thankful to your crazy stalker, whom, you haven't seen in the comments section. You could have missed him, sure, but he was silent during the last live too so you can't rest easy knowing he is watching. You're ninety-nine percent sure he's gonna DM you as soon as the live is over.
Which turns out to be accurate.
Just as you are done taking off your mask and stretching your sore muscles after the live, his message pops up on the screen.
[nerdycatboy]: you looked absolutely devouring, little cherry.
You don't know why those words make you flush. Just a little bit, you tell yourself.
[you]: thanks, pervert.
[nerdycatboy]: this pervert would like some pictures today too.
Oh god. You rub your temples.
[you]: definitely not nudes.
[nerdycatboy]: no? :(
[nerdycatboy]: I don't want nudes, ____. Let us build up to it ;) Just snap some of you sitting on your bed with those pouty red lips. And undo another button of your shirt.
It's humiliating how his orders make you curl your toes and feel giddy all over. Like an obedient pet, you do as you're told, a bit too enthusiastically. You take your time and make sure to appear sexy and get the best angles. Once satisfied, you send them to the anonymous and wait eagerly.
[nerdycatboy]: you're a sight for sore eyes.
[you]: Prof Luther's assignment getting to you?
[nerdycatboy]: Mhmm. These will definitely help me power through.
[you]: glad I could be of help 🙄
[nerdycatboy]: you sure are. until your next live, little cherry. don't miss me too much.
You snort.
[you]: yeah, whatever, sicko.
[nerdycatboy]: Also, I'll be sending you a gift. You'll love it. I already do.
Oh god. Worry begins to bloom as your brain tries to think of the gift. What will he be sending you now? What is he gonna make you do on your next live? More importantly, are you seriously looking forward to it?
Yes, you are. This tiny, fucked up part inside you is excited and all too eager to please and obey a random stranger on the internet.
[you]: Please don't.
You type instead.
[nerdycatboy]: You should receive it within the next three days. We'll talk then.
[nerdycatboy]: Bye, little cherry. Sweet dreams.
And he's offline, leaving you hanging once again.
VI.
True to his words and from your worst nightmares, a package arrives three days later. Once again, you're too scared to open it, just standing there in silence while chewing on your lower lip. Your gut is telling you that it won't be something good which means it can only be something humiliating and freaky.
Taking a deep, calming breath, you start to open the outer packaging to find a baby pink cardboard box. There's a note taped on top of the lid.
I can't wait to see you use this on camera, little cherry.
It's only a line but it has you sweating buckets as you take off the lid with shaky hands.
Your world comes to an absolute halt. For long moments, you just stand rooted to your spot with your mouth agape, convinced that this can't be real.
It is, unfortunately.
The asshole sent you a vibrator.
A fucking vibrator.
It's a huge Hitachi wand and just looking at it gives you shivers.
There is absolutely no way...
You're immediately reaching for your phone to fire a text to the asshole.
[you]: Wtf? Is this a joke?
You type and snap a picture of the device to send it to him.
It seems that he has been expecting you to text as he immediately replies.
[nerdycatboy]: It absolutely is not. I am very much looking forward to seeing you use it.
[you]: Fuck you, dickhead. I won't. There's a limit to everything.
[nerdycatboy]: There's no limit to the games we play, little cherry. In fact, this doesn't even begin to cover it. I have more plans for you.
You can't think of a way this could get any worse.
Holding your breath, you wait for him to elaborate.
[nerdycatboy]: Little cherry, do you want to hear my voice?
What?
Your breath catches in your lungs as you stare wide eyed at the text for a long time.
[you]: Yes but not at the cost of this.
[nerdycatboy]: Hmm, as stubborn as ever. What if I told you I'd reveal myself if you use the vibrator on yourself in live?
It's the second time your breath stutters, a small gasp emitting from you as you cup your open mouth.
Immediately, the gears in your brain start turning. You'd finally get to know who he is and end this misery. Maybe you can come up with some sort of dirt on him and blackmail him in return. The possibilities are endless, truly.
However, more than anything else you're excited to finally see who it is and no matter how much you keep telling yourself no, a teeny tiny part of you is eager to pleasure yourself on camera.
God, what have you become, _____.
With a defeated sigh, you start typing.
[you]: You drive a hard bargain.
[you]: Alright. You have a deal but make sure to keep your promise.
[nerdycatboy]: I vow on my degree, little cherry. You will know who I am within the next forty-eight hours.
The thought sends an exciting chill down your spine.
[nerdycatboy]: Exciting, isn't it?
You roll your eyes.
[you]: Shut up and tell me what I need to do in the live.
[nerdycatboy]: Ah, yes. Nothing that tough really, wear that white shirt you wore last time and play with yourself. According to my instructions, of course.
[you]: Your instructions?
[nerdycatboy]: Yes.
I'll be on call with you throughout the live, giving you instructions.
Your curl your toes and bite your lip, a new wave of excitement rising within you as heat pools in your belly. This is unlike anything you've ever done before and way out of your comfort zone but surprisingly, you're all too ready to comply.
Your hands are shaky as you type.
[you]: Okay.
[nerdycatboy]: You are so obedient, my cherry. It really is great fun to play with you.
I'll call you tomorrow just before your live, then.
You swallow.
[you]: Alright.
He doesn't reply anymore and you think he has gone offline. Just as you are about to log out too, another text comes.
[nerdycatboy]: And remember ______, you follow every instruction of mine. That means you follow how I tell you to please yourself and you come when I tell you to. If you do a single thing without my permission, you're absolutely done for.
Your earlier feelings are replaced with an overwhelming feeling of trepidation and doom in the blink of an eye.
Quick realization dawns on you that you are a mere puppet being controlled by an evil puppeteer and your fate is hanging by a thread.
VII.
The next day, you receive an incoming voice call from nerdycatboy just two minutes before your live.
You are ready with your full setup; you just need to start the live when it's time. The AirPods are also set in your ears for him to guide you through.
At first, your entire body freezes up as your phone starts ringing and anxiety envelopes you as and you fall into a spiral. But when you remember how your entire life is on the line, you pick up the phone just as it's about to stop ringing.
Inhaling deeply, you speak.
"Hello?"
There's a beat of silence on the other side.
And another.
And another.
"Start the live, _____. It's time."
The voice is deep, gravelly, familiar yet unfamiliar but you don't get to think long about it because your finger presses the start button and just like that you're on live.
You see yourself on the screen, dressed in a white shirt amidst the neon pink lighting in your room. Today, you've put on a wig— a baby pink wig with two high ponytails and wore a basic black face mask instead of your usual stylish mask that covers the upper half or more of your face. It's obvious you're trying to cover as much of yourself as possible to counter the part that you're going to show.
Oh, sweet lord, you're doing this.
Your greeting and interaction are a lot stiffer compared to other days as there is a sadistic man in your ears. You've also restricted the comment box because you feel it's necessary for today, hence they move slowly as you go through them.
The man in your ears has been quiet but you know he's there, waiting with you, for the view count to reach the minimum. As soon as it does, he speaks.
"Why don't we get started, _____. Introduce your toy to everyone."
You swallow as your panicky gaze lands on the intimidating piece of device right out of the camera frame. You are full of nerves and anxiety and to de-stress yourself just a bit, you take a sip of the wine that you've hidden in your coffee cup.
Then, with a deep breath, you start.
"So guys... I've already said that I'm not gonna be reading today. Instead, I'm trying something new and different. Very, very different." You force a smile at the camera as you pick up the device and grip it tightly in your hand.
"I'm in the mood for...playing tonight and guess what I'm playing with?" You inhale deeply before lifting the device to show it to the camera, moving it around in a teasing manner.
As expected, the people in the comments go insane.
"That's right. I'll be using this pretty toy on me." You give a seductive smile, despite wearing the mask, hoping your eyes coney the expression.
"Good job, little cherry. Let's not waste time now. Turn it on." The man commands quietly and once again you're body acts like it's on autopilot, obeying him immediately.
There's something about his voice, so dangerous, so attractive. Something so powerful you don't dare disobey.
It's insane, really.
As ordered, you plug in the device and turn it on, watching warily as it starts vibrating, your throat going dry.
"Go ahead. Open your legs and put it on your pussy. Don't hold it anywhere too long, though. Tease yourself."
Oh fuck.
The sensible, conscious part of you starts freezing up with fear while the other part lets you only think about how hot all of this is and how eager you are to comply.
Swallowing the lump in your throat, you lean back on your seat and part your legs. Trembling hands reach between them to pull your pink lacy panties to one side, revealing yourself to the camera.
There, you've done it.
Something inside you goes numb as you feel the chilly air on your bare core and from then on, you start feeling like a complete puppet, only here to dance as her puppeteer pleases.
Now there's no going back.
Out of the corner of your eye, you can see the comments fly by as the view count increases significantly.
Your puppeteer has been silent and you're somewhat grateful for his patience as you slowly adjust to your actions.
With another huge breath, you bring the thrumming device to your pussy and gingerly touch yourself while interacting with the camera, careful to follow the given instructions.
You're so wound up you don't feel any pleasure at the first touch on your pussy.
"You're so tense, _____. Don't make it look like someone is holding you at gunpoint. Relax your body, little cherry."
It proves to be harder said than done.
Still, you try to get yourself to relax and interact with the camera as you once again bring the device to your lips, playing with yourself.
"Good girl, _____. You look absolutely ravishing right now. Just keep following my voice and I promise you'll have the best orgasm you've ever had."
His tone is gentle yet ordering and oh so deep that you close your eyes and just let his words wash over you. The vibrator touches your clit right then making you jolt in your seat, a sigh of pleasure falling from your lips.
"Fuck, you're soaking, little cherry. You can try to act unwilling but deep down you are loving this. This is what you want, what you need, _____." His voice is gravelly as he breathes in your ears and you chew on your lower lip, knowing there is some truth to his words.
"Hold your pussy lips open, cherry. Run the toy up and down your folds."
You do as you are told, holding yourself open to the camera as the vibration goes through your soaking folds, making you whine in need.
"Turn the vibrations up. Just one bit."
The toy thrums stronger against your core and your legs start shaking just the tiniest bit. They have fallen wide open, resting against the armrest of your chair as you play with yourself.
"So obedient, little cherry. And so filthy. You're a real sight." He whispers. Your brain is starting to feel hazy as all your attention hones down to get yourself to release but as you expected, it doesn't prove to be so easy.
"Turn it off. Now."
Despite the serious urge to disobey him, you turn off the vibrator, teeth gritting, your pussy twitching in protest.
"We're you close, little cherry? Too bad, we can't have you cumming so easily. Turn it on again. Stroke yourself with it. Slowly."
And once again, you are eagerly following his words.
"Push it inside your pussy lips, little cherry. Just a bit. Not all the way, though."
Swallowing, you release a shaky breath and slip the vibrating head inside you, just a little bit— not even half of the head and the pleasure significantly increases as you let out a loud moan.
"Feels good doesn't it? Don't you dare slip it all the way in. There's no way I am letting a toy get inside you before myself."
His words make a shiver roll down your spine as you think of his cock and him whispering filthy words in your ear as he takes you. The little, sane part of your brain shakes her head at your deprived thoughts about a faceless man who has been blackmailing you.
"Turn it off."
Just like before, the man seems to know when your orgasm starts to rise. He tells you to shut off the device and much to your reluctance you do so, not knowing how long you can continue this without losing your mind.
"Turn it on to the highest setting this time. Hold it right on your clit. Don't you dare cum, cherry. I wanna see you writhe."
Oh fuck.
It's a really tough challenge, one you're sure you're gonna fail, yet you're helpless. You do as you're told, holding the throbbing device on your most sensitive part as you start to feel like you're gonna lose your mind. Your head falls back as your eyes roll to the back of your head, heavy pants falling from your lips as your legs shake.
"P-please, let me...come."
"You look so fucking hot right now cherry. I want to see you like this, begging for my cock. Tell me, do you want it?"
"Y-yes. Please..." You are so close you can taste the release.
"Turn it off, cherry. Right now."
With a cry of protest, you turn off the vibrator and let it fall from your hands as you slump back in your chair and catch your breath.
This is the sweetest torture.
The comments go wild, some wanting to see you come and some telling you to keep edging yourself. As you watch the number of tips only increase, your toes curl at the indecency of all of this.
"Let's continue, baby. Turn it on, play with yourself."
Hands shaky, you reach for the device again.
This game of cat and mouse continues until you're a crying and begging mess. He finally grants you your release and then rewards you with a short break before continuing. In the next couple of hours, you come three more times and your bones turn to jelly by the end of it. The live reaches its end when he finally hangs up the call and you're all too quick to wrap things up.
When your computer screen goes black and you can see your disheveled state in the reflection, your mind blanks out as you sit in complete silence, the happenings of the evening slowly replaying in your mind.
The money you've earned tonight is more than you could ever imagine and yet there is no happiness or relief bubbling in you. Rather, you feel empty and absolutely numb, the past hours feeling like a fever dream but the ache between your legs tell you they are very painfully real.
The screen of your phone lights up with two notifications, interrupting your trance.
nerdycatboy has sent you 1000$
[nerdycatboy]: a little gift for your hard work
You stare at the screen in silence until it goes black and then some more. It takes a while for you to realize tears are rolling down your cheeks. And then you are full-on sobbing as you hide your face in your hands and weep at the overwhelmingly miserable situation of yours.
When you finally get some sleep it is late into the night and tears are staining your cheeks and your pillowcase.
VIII.
Despite the rough night, you attend your classes the next day, somewhat glad that they are in the evening. You doze through all of it though, tired and way too distracted to pay attention to the lecture.
The tips of your fingers drum continuously against your desk as you wait for the class to be over. Your mind is spiraling; going haywire thinking about the fact that you will be meeting nerdycatboy today.
That is if he keeps his promise.
He hasn't contacted you since last night and given his stalker-ish tendencies, you're sure he knows your schedule. So why hasn't he messaged you yet?
Probably because he played you, silly girl.
You let out a loud sigh, frustrated, exhausted and enraged. How much longer will this match of cat and mouse go on? You have seriously started to consider shutting off your page temporarily because playing this stupid game with the anonymous asshole is proving to be way too much for you to bear.
The lecture finishes at some point while you're stuck inside your head and as you start packing your bags, you receive a text.
It's him.
I'll meet you at the library building in half an hour.
Your head immediately snaps up as your eyes scan the crowd leaving the classroom, a failed attempt to pinpoint him.
Okay, I'll be waiting.
You grab a coffee while waiting for him, your foot tapping the ground incessantly as you come to terms with the fact that you will be seeing him soon. Your misery will finally be over.
Hopefully.
What do you do when you see him? Curse at his face? Hit him? Or say it was nice playing stupid games with you now please leave me alone?
You've no idea. Your nerves leave you feeling jittery and tense as you see the clock hit seven in the evening. Half an hour is almost up so you start walking towards the library building, goosebumps arising on your skin as shivers roll down your spine.
You don't know if it's the chilly evening air or your nerves.
The library closes at six thirty so there is no one around the building now. The sun has long set and the sky is dark now, save for the little bits of orange and pink here and there.
It could be your brain projecting things but the atmosphere feels eerie and you wonder why he chose such an empty place. What does he plan to do with you? He wouldn't have chosen a quiet place unless he had some bad intentions, right?
Stop overthinking, _____. Your brain hisses.
The watch on your hand reads 7:10 now and there's no sign of anybody. Anxious, you shoot him a text, asking where he is and as expected you don't get a reply.
Tired of looking around the area with wide and restless eyes you decide to step inside the building. The ground floor is still unlocked as there are a few storage units here and you make yourself comfortable in the dimly lit hallway, leaning by a small window and focusing on the garden outside to distract yourself.
Seconds pass by with your feet tapping on the tile floor in matching beats. You grow more impatient, repeatedly checking the time and your message to see if it has been read.
Until you hear footsteps.
They echo down the hall as someone enters the building.
You hold your breath and watch the silhouette, your eyes taking a few seconds to adjust to the lighting.
And your entire world crashes and burns.
It's Jeon Wonwoo, walking towards you.
IX.
The first thing you tell yourself is that this is a coincidence, that he's here to get something from the supply closet. But the idea seems less and less plausible as he keeps walking towards you, his strides determined and only stops a few feet away from you.
You gulp, your entire body frozen as you gape at him with wide eyes, waiting for him to say something.
Judging from the upturned corners of his lips, your reaction seems to amuse him plenty. He stands there, his hands in his pockets as he watches you with a twinkle in his eyes and says the words you were still praying he wouldn't.
"Hello, little cherry."
X.
Despite expecting those words, the shock that overcomes your system is enough to make you lose your footing as you stumble on your feet, hands reaching for the wall behind you to support yourself.
Your breath comes out in the form of short pants as small beads of sweat gather on your forehead.
You knew, you knew, you knew.
You knew it!
The second you heard his voice yesterday, your subconscious told you it was Wonwoo. You, however, chose to be ignorant, dismissing the idea just as quickly as it appeared.
There was no way it could be Wonwoo. Except it is.
You should be glad it is him, no? After all the man you had imagined in the place of the faceless man was always Wonwoo. He had been the man of your fantasies for the longest time yet the feeling of betrayal and hurt is overwhelming.
Funny, considering that he didn't actually betray you. If anything, you have been betraying yourself.
Wonwoo stands in front of you, still as a statue, hands in his pockets, his stance calmer than a winter evening. His face is blank but there is a glint in his eyes, something between sadistic amusement and cocky satisfaction as he watches you crumble in front of him.
Where is the plain old nerdy Wonwoo?
"Wo-Wonwoo..." You don't know what you are trying to say as you lose your train of thought, dropping abruptly onto the ground. Accidentally, you scrape your index finger by the windowsill but your brain registers no pain due to the overwhelming shock as you simply sit in silence and stare as little drops of blood ooze out of the cut.
God, this is straight out of your worst nightmares.
Or, your darkest, filthiest fantasies?
Wonwoo, however, seems to spot the drops of red beading on your fingertips which you ignore. He takes slow but determined steps toward you, his footsteps echoing eerily through the empty hallway. When he is right in front of you, he stops before kneeling on one knee as one of his hands reaches for your injured finger.
He watches the little drops of blood ooze through the cut with rapt attention, his dark eyes somehow appearing darker in the dim lights. Then, surprising you, he takes your hand and brings the bleeding finger to his lips, his eyes intently focused on yours as he sucks the little cut. Your breath hitches, half of yourself wanting to yank your hand away from disgust and rage while the majority of you remain paralyzed as the hauntingly mesmerizing scene plays in front of you.
"Be careful now, can't have you getting hurt now, can we, little cherry?" He takes the finger out of his mouth and observes while the corners of his lips lift into an eerie smile that finally manages to bring some heat into your blood as you seize your hand out of his grip.
"Fuck you, asshole! You're fucking sick!" You hiss out the words you never thought you would say to Wonwoo.
Your attack brings an even bigger smile to his lips as he reaches out and gently tucks a strand of stray hair behind your ear. "Oh little cherry, tell me something I don't know."
You swallow and try to scoot away from him despite the limited space. "Did you have fun bullying me, you sicko?"
"Come on now, _____. Let's not twist the truth. I was not bullying you. We were just playing a game. Besides, I should be the one to ask that." He coos at you, his voice so innocent it makes your brain trip. Tilting his head to a side he keeps stroking your cheek with his fingertips and whispers, "Did you have fun being ordered around by me? By being humiliated? Hm, pretty girl?"
Your eyes widen and you swallow nervously, clenching your hands in tight fists to stop yourself from hitting him.
He chuckles. "It's alright. You don't have to answer that." He stands up, puts his hands in his pockets and stares down at you, tilting his head once more as if you're one fascinating creature. "Because we both know you loved it."
"I didn't!" Your protest is immediate as you muster every bit of strength to stand up and get into his face. "I didn't, you asshole. Don't kid yourself!"
Another pleased smile graces his lips. "Really? You didn't like it every time I called you a good girl? You didn't get more wet every time I told you I'd reward you with my cock?" He inches his face closer to yours, leaving just an inch of a gap.
"Do not kid yourself, _____." His voice drops a pitch as you feel the shift in him, goosebumps breaking on your skin. "You call me names but deep down you know you are a filthy slut and you loved being treated that way."
No. No, you didn't.
Or did you?
"Shut up!" You yell, pushing him with all your might as he stumbles a few steps back. There's a little pause in the air before his eyes meet yours as he pushes his glasses over the bridge of his nose.
"You want me to shut up because you know that it's the truth, _____-"
"Stop psychoanalyzing me!" You hiss, a fresh coat of tears blurring your vision. "Look at yourself, you twisted fucking jerk!"
You push past him as you try to stomp away but his hand catches your arm at the last second, tugging your body close to him. He leans down, his breath hovering on your ear as he whispers. "You better watch your mouth, cherry or I'll show you just how twisted I am. And you might not live to even see through it."
A bucket of ice-cold water seems to wash over you as you realize the gravity of the situation. For the first time since meeting Wonwoo, you're actually scared for your life, especially when you gaze into his pitch black pupils and the little flash of teeth peeking between his lips. Even though his grip on your arm is ironclad, you yank your arm away with all your strength and start running away from him, your heart thudding loudly in your ribcage.
You dash straight out of the library and you only stop until you're in front of a convenience store far enough. Falling on your knees, you catch your breath as you pant heavily, eyes scanning around to make sure he didn't follow you.
A new sense of fear and doom settles over you as you start to realize you might have walked into a situation that may not allow you to get out.
Alive, at least.
What's worse is that a part of you is actually excited.
XI.
Sorry guys, I cannot be doing today's and next week's livestream due to some personal problems. Please understand. Thank you!
You post the notice on your camming page and lean back in your chair, exhaling a loud sigh. The past night has been tiring with the constant struggle of being alert and a dreadful paranoia that won't leave you alone. Jeon the twisted Wonwoo keeps reappearing in your thoughts, haunting you whatever you do.
Within minutes after your post, you get a notification of an inbox and you don't have to see it to know it's the one and only, Jeon psycho Wonwoo.
[nerdycatboy]: Must have really scared you, eh?
You stare at it for a while, thinking of something snarky to reply but nothing comes up so you just decided to ignore it.
He doesn't give up.
[nerdycatboy]: Don't be scared, cherry. We've had so much fun until now. You know it deep down.
Why ignore the obvious?
You sigh, rubbing your temples.
You really need a break from all this. From him.
[you]: Can you leave me alone for one day? Please?
He doesn't text back for a while.
[nerdycatboy]: Since I'm feeling kind, sure. I won't bother you for the next twenty-four hours. We'll talk after you've regained some of your composure and hopefully your senses.
[nerdycatboy]: Because deep down you know what you really want and you know that I'm the only one that can provide it.
[nerdycatboy]: Sweet dreams, little cherry.
His message radiates a type of threat the longer you stare at it and your mind starts to go haywire. So you shut your laptop off and lie in your bed in silence, his words repeating over and over in your head like a mantra.
Deep down you know what you really want and you know that I'm the only one that can provide it.
Yes, yes you do know that. And you feel absolutely horrible for it. Who in their sane mind would allow an unhinged, deadly man to humiliate and low-key blackmail them online for some twisted form of entertainment?
You, for sure.
Your issues run deep, girl.
You mentally shake your head at the situation. If you're attracted to a man like that there has to be something wrong with you, no? But what is worse is deep down, you don't want to stop. You want to push and push and take it to the very end, extremely curious to see what is in store for you with Wonwoo.
Nothing dull, for sure.
And as if you needed more proof; you end up seeing the man even in your dreams, where he does unspeakably filthy things to you and you only beg for more.
XII.
Sunday afternoon, when you're done soaking in the tub for a good hour while enjoying a much needed glass of wine, you sit on your robe and do your skincare when your doorbell rings.
You're confused because you aren't expecting anyone. However, when you peer into the peephole your confusion flips into terror and panic as you see Wonwoo standing.
You must be seeing things, right?
No, you realize, once you double check.
What do you do now? Pretend you're not at home? Tell him to fuck off? Call the police?
You're being too dramatic, your subconscious rolls her eyes.
But your emotions are valid because you have been ignoring texts from the man. True to his words he gave you just twenty four hours before starting to send you messages again that you were too overwhelmed and cowardly to open. Now you're realizing what a horrible decision that was.
Shaking off the thoughts you straighten up and square your shoulders, taking a deep breath as you open the door.
Wonwoo stands there, looking unfairly good, dressed in a plain loose white tee and dark blue jeans, his black hair falling messily on his forehead, a few strands lying on top of his steel-framed glasses.
You briefly wonder if you have a glasses kink, if there is even such a thing.
He stands there looking so boyfriend material, it devastates you, making you wonder if this is an alternate universe where you're a 'normal' couple.
Because he definitely doesn't look like a sadistic, anti-social, slightly psycho nutjob right now. And it messes up your brain chemistry badly.
"Hi," your voice is akin to a mouse squeaking as you feel hot all over.
"Hello, _____." His voice is so sinfully deep.
Why is acting so normal? Like he's a classmate here to do an assignment with you?
"I... wasn't expecting you..." You stumble over your words.
"You weren't replying to my messages so I thought I'd pay you a visit. Make sure you're okay, you know? Our last meeting really shook you up."
You really can't tell if he's teasing you or being genuine but the delusional part of you takes it as a genuine effort.
"May I come in?"
"Of course!" You blink, moving to make way for him. He walks past you, leaving a trail of his cologne wafting in the air that creates a sudden urge within you to grab onto him and sniff him like a dog.
Yeah, you have serious issues.
You follow him awkwardly as he looks around your small space.
"Would you like something to drink? Tea, coffee...water?" Somehow offering him wine right now doesn't feel appropriate.
"Tea, please. Black."
Why is he being so...nice? So normal? Is this the climax of his games? Murdering you in your own home after sweet talking you? After making you drop your guards? You shake your head at the possibility and watch the kettle as it heats the water, waiting for him to initiate a conversation which he doesn't.
This is suffocating.
When you offer him the steaming mug he murmurs a thanks and then asks, "Where's your setup? I'd like to see it."
Uh oh.
"Uhm," you fiddle with your fingers, suddenly nervous. "It's in my bedroom."
"Mind giving me a tour?" His face doesn't give away any malicious intent but then again, he has always been great at keeping a blank face. If anything, he genuinely sounds curious.
Sighing, you guide him to your bedroom. The room is decent size with your bed on one side and your setup on the other. It's nothing fancy, just your pc and your huge, comfortable chair.
"When I film I put up a screen behind me and turn on some lights, you know," you mumble trying to fill the void. He looks around carefully before casually taking a seat on your bed and sipping on his tea.
"It's pretty. Like you, little cherry." His eyes connect with yours and your skin breaks out in goosebumps.
He's so... attractive. Everything about him. His looks, his voice, his attitude, his low-key psychotic persona.
"Take a seat, I won't bite." He says, his signature smirk finally appearing as you shudder before tentatively sitting next to him on your bed, still keeping a few inches of space.
"How did you find my address?" You ask softly.
He shrugs, drinking his tea, "Did some snooping around."
Not surprising. Not unlikely of him either.
"Have you thought about what I said, little cherry? About what you really want?" He asks, his voice a deep timbre as he sets down the mug on your bedside table.
Oh boy, we're not beating around the bush.
"Are you seriously here to talk about that?"
"Answer my question." The way he says those words make you weak in the knees.
"Yes," you swallow, not breaking eye contact with him. A pleased smile graces his soft pink lips and you're hit with the sudden temptation of kissing them.
"And what is your conclusion?" He asks, leaning closer to you, his scent making your brain hazy. One of his fingers traces over your cheekbone and then past your jaw to your neck.
It's electrifying.
''W-what if I want nothing to do with you?" You whisper. He laughs quietly before whispering in your ear, "That is not an option because we both know that's the last thing you want, little girl."
Little girl. Your insides swoon.
His face is now inches apart from yours, his fingers caressing your cheek oh so softly as he watches you with those dark, seductive eyes of his.
It doesn't take a second for you to make your decision.
"Will...will you kiss me, Wonwoo?" You croak.
He arches a surprised brow before smiling in great pleasure as he leans back to watch you. "You are always a surprise, _____. Only if you say please."
"Please."
"Good girl," he praises and that's almost enough to make you come. He wastes no time, cupping both of your cheeks and pressing his lips to yours. Fireworks go off in your head. Your hands move to clutch his shoulders and a soft needy moan escapes your lips when you feel how solid they are.
Holy mother of gods, you need to get dicked down by him.
Immediately.
Wonwoo's tongue explores every bit of your mouth as his hands grab your jaw and neck tighter, his body shuffling close to deepen the kiss. You become a puppet and let him play with you as you melt in his arms, letting him lead however he wants to.
When you two break apart you're panting heavily. Wonwoo watches you with glinting eyes, his pink lips slightly swollen like yours as his thumb traces over your lips. You subconsciously open them and he pushes his thumb in, making you suck on his digit.
You do so eagerly, not breaking eye contact with him. Heat pools in your belly as his nostrils flare and he grunts. "You're a wicked little minx you know that, little cherry?"
I can be whatever you need, you inwardly purr as you give him a particular hard suck before he takes it back.
"You want my cock? Is that what you're trying to say?" He questions, standing up and tilting your chin to meet his gaze.
You can only nod, breathless with anticipation.
"I need words, ______. You're not mute." His voice is commanding, and scolding, which makes you even wetter.
"Please fuck me, Wonwoo."
He grins. An evil, victorious grin.
"Good girl. Stand up." You do so and he tugs the belt on your robe, making it fall open in a fluid motion. Your hands move to cover yourself but he glares at you in warning, making you stop halfway.
"Don't be shy now." He whispers, letting the material fall off your shoulders, leaving you completely naked. "I've seen this pussy on camera already, no?"
You swallow as his fingers trace between your legs and then easily slips one finger in due to your wetness. You sigh in pleasure while he lets out a satisfied hum.
"Tell me," he cups your pussy, thumb stroking your clit as you shudder. "How many men have touched this before me?"
You shake your head. "N-no one."
He tilts his head, a wry smile on his face. "Are you telling me I'm your first, baby?"
You nod, slightly shaking.
"Fuck, you just made me ten times harder. I'm gonna have much more fun defiling you now."
You gulp, stuck in a trance as you let him guide you back to bed with a hard push. You land on your back and watch Wonwoo take his tee off and boy, is that a sight. Your thighs automatically press together when his sculpted body comes into view and the sight of his broad shoulders makes you clutch the bedsheets in a tight fist.
However, something catches your eye; a patch of scarred skin right on his left abdomen, spreading from the front to his back and if you had to guess you'd say it is a burn mark. You don't get to think about it long because he's distracting you with a kiss.
"Like what you see?" He's cocky.
You nod, eyes settling on the bulge in his jeans, waiting for him to take it off so that you can see the object of your desires.
Alas, he has other plans for you.
"Open your legs, little cherry."
They fall apart on command as Wonwoo gets comfort between them, one of his hands trailing over your breasts and your belly while the other softly strokes your sopping wet core. It's embarrassing how easily he can slip two fingers deep inside you. "So fucking wet, you dirty whore." He muses with a smirk.
God, you love his voice.
Your moans rise in pitch as his fingers develop a rhythm, thrusting in and out of you in precise, perfect movements. Your release is so close you can taste it.
Automatically, your hips rise off the bed as your body tilts itself upward for a little stimulation on your clit. Wonwoo takes notice of it and laughs, "Aw, little whore is gonna come so soon? You want me to do this?"
The brush of the pad of his finger is enough to set you off as you scream and let your release wash over you. Your toes curl as you fist the sheets hard enough to almost rip them, riding out your high while he continues to plunge his digits in and out of you.
Once you finally get to catch your breath, he pulls them out and pops the fingers in his mouth, making a show of licking them.
You shudder, your body preparing for another round as moisture gathers between your legs once again.
"Fucking delicious." He grins, making you heat up all over. There is nowhere to hide, your whole body on display for him and he doesn't mask his appreciation as he drinks up every naked inch of you with a devouring gaze.
"Please, f-fuck me," you're not shy about begging as the need for his cock worsens.
"Oh I will," he promises, taking off his glasses and setting them down on your bedside table. Without much thinking your fingers trail over his chiseled abdomen and then down, over the tent of his pants as you fiddle with the button, trying to open it. Wonwoo amuses you for a while before batting your hand away, glaring at you. "Did I give you permission to touch me?"
You bite your lip and shake your head no.
"That's right." His voice is calm as he watches you for a few beats, hungry eyes trained on your lips before his right hand suddenly comes to wrap around your throat.
Your breath stutters as you watch him, wide eyed.
"Touch me again without permission and you won't be coming anytime soon." He threatens, tightening the grip on your throat as your airflow gradually decreases, making you feel fuzzy. You should be scared for your life, but you aren't, instead, the action only makes you wetter as you rub your thighs and mewl and beg with your eyes to ease the ache.
He listens.
Letting you go, he gets off the bed and takes off his pants and boxers, while your brain and lungs catch up due to the lack of oxygen. You blink and gulp when you see how blessed he is in length and girth, your breathing irregular.
Smirking at your reaction, he gets back on the bed and traps you beneath him, amusement and satisfaction dancing in his eyes. "I don't think you'll need any more prepping," he muses, trailing his fingers to your pussy and dipping one in the collect your arousal. You vehemently shake your head yes.
He laughs. "Hungry for cock, slut?"
"Y-yes." You whisper, breathless, wide eyed, needy.
Wonwoo leans down to nip on your jaw and your neck as he aligns himself with your entrance. Then, a thought comes to you.
"We... don't have a condom..."
"I'm clean, little cherry. Besides, there's no way I'd not take this virgin cunt bare." His words are vile and his smile is diabolical, sending shivers down your spine. It's alarming how attractive you find his insanity.
"Hold on to me. Bite my shoulder if it hurts too much." That's all the warning you get and not enough time to process as he shoves his cock inside you in one go. A loud wail erupts from your throat as tears burn your eyes, your nails digging into Wonwoo's biceps as you cling to him for dear life.
"So fucking tight." His voice is hoarse as he remains still for a few seconds, letting you catch your breath. The pain of the stretch doesn't ease up but the man on top of you isn't too bothered. He starts thrusting, slow, small thrusts at first as you rest your head in the crook of his neck and hold him tight, breathing harshly.
Soon, his pace increases, hitting that perfect spot inside you that makes you see stars and your toes curl. Feeling you tighten around him, he chuckles, "You like that? You like it when I hit here?" He punctuates by thrusting you right there once again and you scream.
"Yes! Harder!"
He scoffs. "Such a slut. How did you survive so long without a dick shoved up inside you, huh?" He leans back, prying your body off of him and grabs both your cheeks in one hand, puckering your lips. "Want it harder? Say please."
"P-please," you manage to utter despite his strong grip on your jaw. Your cheeks ache from how hard he grabs you but you're once again surprised by how much the pain turns you on.
"Open your mouth," he commands, intense eyes trained on you, his pace never faltering. You are not going to last very long, you realize.
You follow his command and open your mouth as he eases his grip and stunning you, he spits right into your mouth.
"Swallow it, little whore." He orders, making your pussy clench deliciously. You once again do as you're told.
"You loved that, didn't you?" He scoffs. "You are a real treat, little cherry. You're fucking perfect." His hands wrap around your throat, almost as leverage as his pace becomes wild, driving in and out of you so fast, the bed starts shaking.
"I'm..gonna come." You whisper. The pressure building inside you is about to burst and you can't hold it any longer. Not resuming his pace or bothering to acknowledge your words, Wonwoo keeps on going while slithering a hand down to your core, where he flicks your clit before roughly pinching it.
You go off like a rocket.
The pleasure is mind-numbing, making you arch off the bed with a wail. It's like a tsunami of pleasure has crashed onto you and it only amplifies when you feel him swell inside you before releasing himself. Your pussy is coated with warm bursts of his cum as your body continues to shake, still riding the wave of your high.
You feel him pull out, his cum trickling out of your spent hole as you still float back down to earth and before you can let out a sigh of relief that it is over, he's spreading your legs as wide as they can go, getting you in a spread eagle position.
"Keep your legs like that, slut." He commands, leaning down to capture your lips in a bruising kiss. It's all teeth and tongue and fierce that once again lights up the fire in your core.
What has this man done to you?
You're insatiable, riding a never ending lust filled high as you watch the insanely hot man on top of you. His hair is messier now and there's a light sheen of sweat on his body that only adds to the appeal.
You don't know if you want to devour him or be devoured by him.
"I'm not done with you yet." He murmurs, watching you with dark eyes as he strokes his cock. "Look at your blood on my cock, little cherry. Isn't that a sight?" He grins, flashing his teeth.
Goosebumps rake down your spine.
"I always loved blood but having you bleed on my cock? This is just incomparable, sweetheart." He pushes a couple of his fingers coated in your blood and his cum and shoves them into your mouth. You're all too eager to lick them clean without a second of delay.
Your tongue dances on his digits, licking them clean and tasting the metallic, bitter flavor before he pops them off your lips. Then, once again leaving you flabbergasted, he slaps you on the right cheek. It doesn't hurt bad but it stings and you're ashamed of how much you liked it.
The evil smile is back on his face. "You like that?" He smacks your other cheek and you nod eagerly. At this point you realize, there's nothing this man can do to you that you wouldn't like.
"You're an absolute fucking piece, little cherry. I'm so glad I snatched you up. Couldn't let any other man have you, could I?"
He kisses your jaw before moving towards your neck, sniffing as he goes. "You smell so addictive. So... mine." He muses as he sucks on the tender spot on your neck, making you sigh in pleasure.
"Please, Wonwoo..." You are desperate and your legs hurt from staying wide open. The plea reaches his ears as he sits back and puts his fingers in his mouth, wetting them before shoving them inside your sore yet throbbing pussy. He plunges them in and out for a while, pushing his cum back inside you and watching with a smirk how your mouth falls open in pleasure.
And then he thrusts himself in. You know this time it is gonna be quick with his extra fast movements as he holds your calves for leverage and pounds in and out of you restlessly. You're on the brink of losing your sanity with how good he feels, unceremonious moans and gasps continuously leaving your mouth.
Suddenly a smack graces you on the cheek, making your body jerk and pussy tighten. It takes a while to realize Wonwoo has slapped you again and once you do so, you eagerly wait for another. Unlike last time, your cheek heats up from the force and you can actually feel the flesh burn but gosh, do you not love it any less.
"Dirty fucking slut. Letting me treat you however I want. You love it, no? You love the pain?" He hisses, brows furrowed as his pace starts to falter. You nod eagerly moving your hips against his, desperately chasing your end.
Two punctuated thrusts on your g-spot and you come without any warning. Once again, you feel like you're launched into outer space as your entire body jerks, leaving you gasping for air. Wonwoo releases himself all over your stomach and tits this time, soft groans of pleasure falling from his lips.
It's addictive.
Everything about this man is addictive.
He is the sweetest form of darkness, here to drag you down to hell with him. And you have no complaints.
That is your last coherent thought before you fall into a peaceful slumber.
XIII.
The next day, Wonwoo sits next to you in class, acting like his usual self, like he didn't blow your back out last night. He stays mostly quiet and keeps to himself, focusing on the lecture and taking notes. However, underneath the desk, his hand holds your thigh in a possessive grip, his fingers dancing over your sensitive flesh.
It is safe to say you don't get to focus much on the lesson.
After the class, you and Wonwoo grab a cool drink and sit on one of the benches laid throughout the campus field.
You are still processing the events of last night and seeing how he hasn't mentioned it even once, you wonder if it was all your imagination.
No, it was all too real to be untrue.
As you sit next to him and chew on your straw, you wonder how you should approach the subject. Wonwoo, who has been silently enjoying his drink suddenly speaks, just as you get your thoughts together. It, however, is the last thing you expected him to say.
"Did I ever tell you about how I murdered a man?"
Your body turns into a block of ice as you whip your head towards Wonwoo, who sits with his elbows resting on his knees, an impassive look on his face. Silently, you blink a few times, waiting, just to make sure you didn't hear him wrong.
He is kidding.
Right?
He tilts his head to face you, a wry chuckle escaping his lips as he shakes his head at your expression. "Come on now, little cherry, don't look so shocked."
You cough and look away, a lame attempt to mask your expression. "I don't want to know anything I should not know." You murmur, looking down at the ground. "Besides, you're joking, right?"
"No, I'm not." He laughs a little, before exhaling loudly. "I also doubt you'd tattle on me. Who would fuck you so good like last night if I went to jail?"
His words make you squirm in your seat.
"Besides, it's a really interesting story. One I've never told anyone before."
Should you feel honored?
Wonwoo seems to take your silence as a yes because he starts narrating. "Once upon a time, there was a man. An alcoholic, pathetic excuse of a man who did terrible things to a woman, my mother. I was very young when it started. He'd beat the shit out of her for every little reason. It would only get worse when he got drunk, which was more often than not. Sometimes he'd lock her up in the basement and keep her naked and unfed. One time, when I was about ten years old, he broke every finger on her right hand just because the dinner wasn't served on time."
You have stopped breathing by now, as you sit in absolute silence, your limbs immobile as if you are paralyzed. You have a very good idea of where this story is going and how it might end. That should make you want to get up and leave but you just can't bring yourself to, as you sit mute and take occasional tentative peeks at the man next to you.
"That was the first time I stood up to him. My mother had passed out from the pain and I yelled at him and pushed him which made him take it out on me too. He hadn't hit me ever before. But that night, he kept on going till the dawn, as if making up for all the times he didn't."
He falls silent for a few moments and you take a chance to peek at him. As always, it's impossible to read him, his face an emotionless canvas and his eyes emptier than a desert, lost somewhere in his dark memories. You can't help but wonder if he feels any pain or remorse as he recalls his traumatic past. If he does, how can he mask it so well?
"Six months after that, my mother fell off the roof of our building. The police concluded it as suicide because they found out she was drunk. But she wasn't."
"The night before, as always, the pathetic loser came home drunk and smashed things around for a while. There was a ruby necklace that my grandmother gave to my mother when she got married. That night, he was asking for it because he needed immediate cash and my mother wouldn't give it. She probably had enough because that was the only night she stood up against him and she protested hard. I remember her smashing a bottle on his head. Of course, he wouldn't let that slide but something was different about him that night. He was more despairing, more evil. He slapped her around a few times before choking her until she passed out. I can still hear his words in my head.
I'll get rid of you tonight bitch.
I'll get rid of you for good."
He then took out a bunch of booze and ordered her to drink them, saying that if she resisted, I'd get the beatings. She obeyed him and I only watched, as I always did and he kept forcing her to drink till she couldn't utter a coherent word or couldn't even remain seated. Once she passed out from all the booze he came to me and patted my head. With the evilest of smiles, he said,
"Go to your room. You don't need to learn everything so early."
"Then he locked me in his bedroom and didn't let me go until the morning. By then the police had come and removed her body. Those imbeciles decided it was suicide and ended the investigation just like that.
I could have told them that it was a murder but I didn't. My mother's death stunned me so much that I couldn't speak for the next few months and the asshole used it to his advantage. He acted like the best father and husband in front of the police but then came and took out all his anger and frustration on me."
He finally pauses to take a look at you and your face must have been an open book because he chuckles, "Why do you look so pale already? I haven't even gotten to the best part yet."
You want to tell him that you look pale not because of the story but because you feel sad for the fucked up man sitting next to you and his fucked up childhood. Even though he has yet to reveal how his father died you have already convinced yourself that he deserved it.
"A year went by like that." Wonwoo continues. "My mother was gone and I was the new punching bag for the asshole. He'd beat me up almost every day but he wasn't that dumb. He would never hit me in the face because I went to school and people could ask questions. I endured it all, in fact, I might have even started to crave it. I started to think I deserved it and so I took it...until one afternoon. I had just gotten home from school. He was sitting in the living room, drinking and watching TV. He seemed to be in an okay mood so I showed him my report card and asked him to sign it so that I could submit it the next day. He was quiet for a while until he saw my marks in English.
He took a bottle of booze and poured it all over my report card, saying a loser like me is better off without one. Something snapped inside of me and I yelled at him. So he broke that bottle on my head and stuffed that wet report card into my mouth and started beating me up.
After he was done he told me to get him a glass of water and go out to buy more beer for him. There was a nearby store that knew us and let me purchase alcohol. At that moment I made a split-second decision. I went to the kitchen, grabbed some rat poison and mixed it in his water before giving it to him. When he passed out I went back into the kitchen and pulled out the gas pipe and turned the knob open, letting it leak all over. I then lit a match and watched as the entire house caught on fire in seconds. I got burned too, as you can tell from the scars you saw last night. I ran out and sat on the other side of the road, just watching the fire spread. The thought of him burning alive in there brought me so much pleasure that I forgot my own pain.
It was right after noon and we lived in a relatively deserted area so it took a while for people to find out and call the police. They never suspected me because why would a twelve year old set his house on fire? The neighbors also testified that the asshole was an alcoholic so the police concluded it as another accident."
He concludes with a loud exhale. Turning his head to face you, he smirks wryly, "And that's how I successfully got away with my first murder."
You are left with a loss of words so you just give him a shaky nod and stare down at your legs, trying to process everything.
A few beats of silence seem to pass before Wonwoo reaches for your chin and uses it to tilt your face up. He smirks, "Scared of me now, aren't you?"
You sigh, gently removing your chin from his grip. "No, Wonwoo, I'm not. You did what you had to survive. It's admirable how you held on for so long."
For the first time, you see an emotion vividly on his face; shock. His eyes widen and his lips part to a little 'o' as he gapes at you, stunned. His reaction evokes some sort of longing within yourself as you reach for his hand and hold it between yours. "I am not scared of you because there is nothing to be. You were a little boy and you had gone through so much. It's fucked up but you did it to survive and you've come so far-"
"I don't want your pity and I don't want you to psychoanalyze me." He hisses, cutting you off as he yanks his hand away from your grip. You can see the fierce anger in his gaze so you shake your head.
"I am not pitying you and neither am I psychoanalyzing you. Trust me, I am in no position to do that. Especially because I believe that that man was an absolute piece of garbage and he deserved what you have done to him, if not worse. I would have done the same, Wonwoo, long ago. You held on for so long. That makes you a survivor, not a bad guy."
Your words seem to sink into him as he remains quiet, watching you with careful yet wondrous eyes. You sigh, realizing that he probably isn't believing you so you decide to give him, and yourself, some space.
Just as you stand up, he yanks you down by your hand, making you fall awkwardly onto his lap. Then, before your brain can catch up, he kisses you, rough and fast.
His lips smash with yours as he holds a strong grip on your neck, angling your face to his advantage. His tongue explores every inch of your mouth, colliding with yours as your body goes lax and you give into him. It's like an aphrodisiac— his kiss, his touch, that makes you lose your guard as you fall deeper and deeper into an abyss.
When he pulls back, you are both panting heavily for air. "Do you realize what you just said?" He grunts, those fox-like eyes staring at you making your toes curl and your insides swirl. In a daze, you hum, "Hmm?"
"You'd make a great accomplice for a murder, no?" He chuckles, his thumb tracing your swollen bottom lip while you keep staring at his lips. All coherent thoughts and senses have left your body long ago as you find yourself swimming in the sweetest poison that is Wonwoo.
"More." You breathe.
He smirks, that evil, confident smirk of his that makes your panties wet. Once again, he starts moving before you can process anything, dragging you behind him and straight to one of the storage rooms in a nearby building. You follow him blindly and as soon as the door is locked, he pins you against the wall and between himself, effectively trapping you. Yet, there is nowhere you want to escape to.
"You are an enigma, you know that, little cherry?" He whispers, trailing kisses down your jaw as his hands work on unbuttoning your top. He quickly takes it off along with your bra before taking a step back and yanking your skirt down. The zipper on the waist lets out a groan of protest that falls onto your deaf ears as you remain too busy ogling the ungodly hot man in front of you.
"Take me out."
Your body is on autopilot as you immediately undo his belt and pull down the zipper.
"Put your hands over my shoulders and hold tight. Wrap your legs around me." He commands as one of his hands holds you below your thigh while the other positions himself on your entrance.
And before you can blink, he's inside you. The initial stretch of the intrusion makes you jolt and let out a loud gasp of pain but it's quick to dull. One of his hands covers your mouth, his dark eyes indicating you to remain silent while he starts to move in and out of you.
Oh boy, is it hard to remain silent.
Especially, when you can feel every delicious inch of him, moving in and out of you ruthlessly, making your body shake from the onslaught of pleasure. Your grip on his shoulders tightens as little squeaks escape from your lips and your legs wrap themselves around his body tighter when you start to taste your release.
"Gosh, you're such a slut, letting me fuck you against a wall, in a store room." Wonwoo grits, a twisted smirk on his lips as his gaze roams over your face leisurely. "What if someone comes in right now, huh? What if they see you bouncing your pretty ass on my cock?"
"Mmph," you try to moan, the image sending short circuits to your brain. Wonwoo chuckles, loving your reaction. "You'd like that, won't you? You're one filthy little slut, my cherry." He grins after giving you a particular hard thrust, that makes your toes curl.
"P-please," you pant, breathless trying to grind your clit against his pelvis. One touch on your clit and you're gonna come. "Please, touch me."
The man only smiles, a cruel, mocking smile as he grabs your wrists in one hand and pins them hard on the wall behind you before thrusting once, twice, so hard that your back starts aching. Though you can't bring yourself to complain because the next moment his release is filling you up, making you moan unceremoniously.
When you think he's now gonna help you get off, the man only releases you and starts fixing himself up leaving you panting against the wall awkwardly, with the worst ache between your legs.
"W-what about me?" You croak.
"Sluts don't get to come so easily." Wonwoo smirks, throwing a look your way before walking out of the storeroom. You slide down the wall, absolutely livid, the urge to punch something growing very intense.
Something like his face.
That goddamn infuriating man!
Maybe you should just get yourself off.
"And don't think about touching yourself without me. I'll know if you do and trust me, you don't wanna make me mad." His head pops back in as he opens the door to warn you before disappearing once again.
"Fuck!" You're screaming now. "Fuck you, Jeon Wonwoo!"
XIV.
Over time, you start to grow close to Wonwoo. Definitely closer than you'd expect to be with a person like him. It also doesn't help that you have a silly little crush on him and every little thing he does makes your heart flutter. Like the way he'd always put the helmet on you carefully before riding on his bike, brush your hair away from your face with soft fingers, and pull you closer to his body when you walk down a busy sidewalk.
Jeon Wonwoo was in no way boyfriend material but his little gestures, which he probably did thoughtlessly made you think he was the perfect man for you.
While things were going breezy with Wonwoo, a new problem seems to have appeared. Jacob Lee, a classmate of yours has been on your tail nonstop for the past few days, acting all friendly and touchy with you when in reality you've never spoken to him before, only seen him around the campus.
And speaking of the devil, he appears, just as you are finishing up your study session in the library one afternoon.
"_____!" His voice makes you sigh exasperatedly. "Hey! I was looking for you!"
You give him a fake smile and instead focus on packing your stuff, knowing Wonwoo will be here soon. He has asked you to stay overnight at his place for a class project but you doubt how much you'll be working on that project.
The thought of his hands all over you makes you embarrassingly excited.
"I sent you a friend request last night, didn't you see?"
Yes, and I'm not interested. You give me the creeps.
Which was the truth. You have heard a few rumors about Jacob, not good things for sure and the way he approaches you, invading your personal space like a bulldozer certainly makes you wary of him.
"Ah really? I'm not quite active these days. Projects and all, you know?" You try to avoid eye contact with him as he takes the seat right next to you, leaning much too close for your liking. "And...I don't really accept requests unless they're my close friends."
"Heyyy," he nudges your arm, a huge grin on his face. "How can we become close friends unless you accept my request?"
Oh god.
You sigh, internally rolling your eyes as you stand up and sling your bag over your shoulder. "You know, I'm in a hurry, actually. Wonwoo is waiting for me-"
"Is he your boyfriend?"
"What?" You blink, albeit stunned.
"Are you dating Wonwoo?" He asks, his tone sharp, as he stands up and steps closer to you, brows knotted in a frown.
Seriously, what is up with this guy?
"Why do you ask?" You question instead.
He rolls his eyes. Instead of answering you, he speaks, "He's a boring dude. If you really need a man you should let me—"
"Yes, she's dating me." Wonwoo interrupts all of a sudden. You spin around to find him standing behind you, a very annoyed look on his face as he glowers at Jacob. If looks could kill he'd be dead by now.
His hand wraps around your waist, tugging you next to his body and you can't help but swoon a little as you melt in his embrace. You rest your face in the crook of his neck, inhaling his scent and sigh giddily.
The comfort and safety his arms provide are astounding.
"It doesn't really matter if you say I'm boring because she seems to find me interesting enough," Wonwoo says, his tone challenging, dark eyes focused on Jacob whose face now appears grim.
"Since we have established that she's mine," he emphasizes his words by tugging you even closer, "You should keep your hands to yourself and mind your business, hmm? Being nosy can get you hurt, you know."
Jacob's lips are pressed into a thin line as he glares at Wonwoo who ignores him and turns around, tugging you with him as you both walk out of the library.
As soon as you are outside, you step out of his arms and raise a brow at the man. "What was that?"
"What was what?"
"That? You were like...staking your claim or something."
"I was. You're mine." He says simply.
Heat blooms throughout your face. Butterflies run wild in your stomach.
Damn.
"Whatever," you try to play it cool by rolling your eyes and pushing past him. Wonwoo, however, grabs your wrist and pulls you into his arms and whispers in your ear.
"You don't seem to agree, little cherry. Let's go home so that I can show just how much you are mine." His knuckles trail over your jaw, then down your neck before grabbing it, a predatory glint in his eyes.
You can't stop the satisfied grin from appearing on your face as you scream on the inside.
XV.
"Hey, I'm really sorry about the last day." A voice says from behind you and you turn around to find Jacob standing rather awkwardly.
You are going through your notes in the library when you are interrupted.
Raising a brow of confusion, you blink at him.
Jacob scratches his head. "Uh...I overstepped that day, you know. You're obviously a couple and I was trying to overstep my boundaries. I'm really sorry about that."
Well, that's a development.
"It's alright." You give him a small smile. "And thank you for apologizing."
"It's all good if you've accepted my apology." He smiles. "Also, I was hoping you could do me a favor?"
"Sure?" You say, not quite sure.
"You see, I'm having a bit of a problem with the latest assignment. Could you help me with that, please? Just take a look at my draft?" He chuckles nervously, as if ashamed. "After all, the professor did say that you had the best research paper among all of us."
Ah.
"Yeah, sure I can help you with that."
"Great! Thanks a lot, ____. Could you perhaps come with me to my car? My notes are in there. Just take a quick look and I'll let you be on your way."
You nod as you pack your belongings and follow him to the parking lot behind the library. Once you two are in front of your car, Jacob holds the door open for you, motioning you to get inside. You raise a confused brow at him.
There is a shift in him as he suddenly produces a knife from his pocket and holds it against your stomach. He grits in your ear, "Now be a good girl and get in the car, ______. Try to do anything to attract any attention and ill fucking gut you."
"Jacob, please-''
"Get in the fucking car, _____. And lock the door once you are inside."
Shaking, you do as you are told and watch him get inside the driver's seat.
"Why are you doing this?" You whisper.
"Why do you think, cherry?" He spits. His words dump a bucket of ice cold water all over you as you come to the realization.
He knows. He fucking knows. He knows your secret.
"That's right, _____." The smirk on his face is cruel. "I randomly came across your channel one night. Of course, I didn't know it was you at first. But after a little bit of observing and putting things together, it wasn't hard to figure you out. And my suspicions were fully confirmed when your nerd of a boyfriend found your identity and started blackmailing you."
Oh my god.
A small, devastated gasp leaves your lips, making Jacob laugh. "Yeah. I saw you two that evening. I know everything, little cherry. All your dirty little secrets. But what I hate is that you let him have you, calling that dumb guy your boyfriend and whatnot, but you won't give me a chance? That's not fair, baby."
"You fucking stalker! You son of a-"
"Shut up!" He booms, holding the knife right in front of your eye. "You're going to shut the fuck up and let me have all the fun tonight, hmm? You're a slut, _____. Reading filthy things, showing yourself off on the internet and now you're acting like a prude in front of me? I can't tolerate that baby, I need a taste of you."
Oh god. You're going to throw up.
In a moment's decision, you try to attack him, reaching for his face and poking him in the eye while scratching his cheek. A struggle ensues while you try to writhe and kick out of his grasp but he's stronger, effectively holding you.
"Just go to sleep, little bitch. I'll take good care of you." He snickers, making your heart drop.
Oh no no no...
He smacks you in the back of the head twice with the butt of his knife, making your vision go blurry and your head spin. Your last thought is that you are doomed now.
XVI.
The back of your head is throbbing when you wake up. It takes a good few moments to get your brain and eyes to function and when you are somewhat coherent, you realize your wrists are tied together behind you, as you remain in a half laid position. Your whole body feels sore and taut as if you've been thrown around roughly.
"Finally, you're awake baby." The dreadful voice speaks. You tilt your head, despite the pain, to look at Jacob who is looming over you, smiling, a sick kind of excitement dancing in his eyes.
Your throat which was already parched, goes even drier.
"You're fucking sick." You croak, a jolt of pain going through your ribs as you try to move your body.
A slap lands on your cheek from nowhere, forcing you to fall on your side as you whine in pain.
"I told you to shut the fuck up!" He's yelling. "Do you know how hard it was to carry your body all the way here? I had to put you in the trunk, for fucks sake!" He complains, making you roll your eyes. "It would all have been fine if you'd just shut up and complied with me!"
He then grabs you by your hair, forcing you to turn your head and look at him. "I had to wait for the last hour for you to gain consciousness, baby. Despite my thoughts, I just couldn't get hard when you were lying still."
He says those words with a mock pout as if that's the most unfortunate thing in the world and your blood boils. "Fuck you, dickhead. I doubt your thing gets hard at all."
That earns you another slap, and another, followed by a lot of screaming and cursing from him.
You tune them out, trying to conjure a way out of this hell. The first person you think of is Wonwoo and your heart starts to ache. His classes should be done by now. Is he looking for you? Is he worried? Given his possessiveness, he definitely should be looking for you by now.
You only wish you had your phone somewhere nearby.
You look around the place, trying to spot anything that may distract this sicko and aid you with your escape. Unfortunately, this feels like an abandoned building and the only thing lying around are pieces of wood, splinters and a few metal rods. Which would serve as a good weapon, only if your hands were untied.
An idea forms in your head.
"I need to pee." You grunt, making Jacob raise a brow.
"Well then, do it." He shrugs before smiling. "You'll need to take your pants off anyway for what I'm about to do to you. Want me to help you with them, baby?"
So that definitely backfired.
Jacob approaches you, hands reaching for the button on your jeans as you writhe in protest, trying to crawl away from him. Your sore ribs protest heavily but you struggle against his grip, which only tightens the harder you protest.
You are so fucked.
"The more you fight, the harder I get, baby." He snickers in your ears, making you want to throw up.
Jacob manages to unbutton your jeans and as he is pulling down your zipper, you land a kick on his shin, making him fall on his ass with a grunt. His eyes flash dangerously at you.
"Maybe I should tie your legs too, huh? Just let me take these jeans off."
"Get your hands off of her. Right. Now." There's a sudden voice.
You both turn your head to find Wonwoo, to your utter relief, standing there, a menacing look on his face as his eyes bore into Jacob.
"Let her go." His voice is quiet.
To others, it may sound flat but you know Wonwoo and you know the look in his eyes very well. A shiver rolls down your spine and you try once again to loosen the ropes tying your wrists. If you aren't free soon, things are gonna get messy.
"The big bad boyfriend is here to save the day, no?" Jacob scoffs, swaying the knife around in his hand. "Whatcha gonna do, boyfriend?"
"You wouldn't wanna know." Wonwoo gives him a cold smile that gives even you, goosebumps. You try to mediate the situation. "Jacob, please, listen to me. This doesn't have to be like this. Just let me go and we can pretend this never happened."
"Shut up, you whore! I'm getting a taste of you today and I don't care whether it's next to your boyfriend's rotting corpse!" He screeches, pointing the knife at you.
Mentally, you shake your head.
This really isn't gonna end well.
A grunt echo through the air and it takes a few seconds for your fuzzy brain to realize that Wonwoo has punched Jacob. The latter tumbles onto the floor, groaning loudly, "You fucking asshole! You broke my nose!"
Wonwoo's face remains blank as he repeatedly keeps kicking Jacob's torso, not even letting him get up. When he's gasping for air, he steps back to take a good look at him before walking to the side and picking up a metal rod.
In the meantime, Jacob manages to stand up on wobbly legs and his eyes widen when he sees Wonwoo pick up the weapon. "You fucking psychopath. You really wanna die today, huh?" He scoffs before charging toward Wonwoo, the knife in his hand aiming for his face. Wonwoo dodges it by leaning back and just as Jacob is passing by him, he grabs his other arm, twisting it roughly before clutching the hand holding the knife.
Jacob yells in pain but doesn't back down and there is a struggle as they both try to overpower each other. Amidst that, the knife in Jacob's hand manages to cut a thin line on Wonwoo's cheek, making him release Jacob and take a few steps back.
Jacob chuckles, his smile looking exceptionally evil as blood runs down his nose and coats his teeth. "I'm gonna have so much fun carving up your pretty face, nerd."
Wonwoo watches him with calculative eyes, a wry, slight smirk on his face as he tilts his head on both sides, popping the veins in his neck.
You watch with bated breath, knowing it's gonna get ugly and it does as Wonwoo charges for Jacob, hitting his head in the first strike with the metal bar. Jacob falls to his knees, cupping the side of his head as a gush of blood flows out. Before he can stand back up, Wonwoo hits him again and again and again, three more times on his head before his body slumps onto the ground, passed out.
But that doesn't make Wonwoo stop as he continues with two more hits and you start yelling. "Wonwoo, stop! Stop it! You're gonna kill him!"
He stops and his eyes meet yours. They are absolutely cold and empty, laced with an expression of that's-what-I-was-about-to-do and for a moment you think that he's gonna kill him right in front of you but he doesn't.
Surprising you, he drops the bar on the ground with a loud echo before calmly walking towards you and kneeling down to untie your wrists. You pant heavily, relieved and grateful as your eyes become teary when one of his hand cups your cheek tenderly, his eyes trained on the cut on your lips and the bruise on your cheek.
And to think that this man was being so violent seconds ago.
"Does it hurt badly?" He asks, eyes narrowing on your bruises. You immediately shake your head, not trusting your voice to speak.
You croak, "How did you find me?"
He scoffs. "Little cherry, you should have figured out by now how possessive I am of you." He tilts his head, giving you an isn't-that-obvious look. Yet, you're confused.
"You...you didn't actually put a—"
"Exactly," he smiles, almost proud. "I downloaded a tracker on your phone."
Holy shit. There's a lot to unpack but for now, you are totally grateful. So you just nod and clutch his arms tightly.
Your heart thumps loudly as the man wraps an arm around your waist, supporting you to stand up. The bruises on your body make it hard to do so but you manage with his help and gently he guides you out of the warehouse, picking up your scattered items lying in a corner and putting them in your bag before moving past Jacob's still body.
You turn your head back to observe if he's breathing and you notice the slow rise and fall of his chest, making you sigh in relief.
Wonwoo walks you both out of the compound before coming to a stop underneath a large banyan tree, right where he parked his bike.
"Call a taxi." He says as he hands you your bag. "Go to a hospital. I'll be there soon."
Your heart falls.
"W-what? W-where are you going?" You croak, hands immediately clutching the sleeves of his jacket. His hands gently hold you by the arm, a stark contrast to the look on his face, malicious, ruthless. "You don't leave loose ends, baby."
You almost choke on your saliva.
"Wha-what? No! You-"
His lips press against yours, effectively silencing you. One of his hand cups your cheek while the other laces around your waist, pulling your body next to his. Blindly you follow his lead, wrapping your arms around his neck as your tongue intertwines with his into a passionate kiss. It tastes like temptation, lust and a little bit metallic— from the blood on your lips and even though in the back of your mind you know how wrong this is, it feels like the most right thing of all time.
A while later Wonwoo pulls back as the haze of lust disappears from his eyes, replaced with seriousness.
"Do as you're told, ____. This isn't a request."
It isn't. It's a command.
Yet, as he turns around to head back into the warehouse, you cannot bring yourself to call a taxi. But you also cannot muster up to follow him back inside and watch him finish the job.
Blissful ignorance, as they like to call it.
Besides, there is no crime if there is no witness.
You try to tell yourself that you're staying in case Jacob manages to run away or worse, hurt Wonwoo or in case somebody comes around here.
So you make yourself comfortable underneath the tree and take a seat, even though your sore body protests in pain.
Seconds turn to minutes as they fly by and just like that half an hour is gone. The sky is now overcast with thick clouds, indicating an impending downpour that makes you worry.
There is no sign of Wonwoo yet.
When the first few drops of rain hit the ground, you manage to get yourself up after a little struggle and despite your ribs protesting, you start to take small steps towards the building.
Something must have gone wrong.
But you don't have to go too far because you see a tall figure approaching you from the other end and you realize it's Wonwoo. Your breath stutters as you stay still in your spot, waiting for him to take notice of you and come to you. He seems to be walking while in deep thought as his focus remains on the ground so you call for him.
"Wonwoo!"
His head snaps up as he regards you with wide eyes, standing still for a moment. Then he's running towards you, stepping on little puddles along the way.
"What are you still doing here!" His tone is sharp but you ignore it. Instead, your eyes scan his body for any injuries. He seems to appear fine— disheveled really, but still fine. There is a new cut on his forehead and there are specks of blood all over his face, neck and hands, especially his hands which are completely wet and coated in crimson.
You highly doubt it's his own blood. Still, your hands reach out for him and you find yourself asking, "Are you okay?"
Wonwoo glares at you. "You should have gone to a hospital by now, ____. You're hurt." You shake your head and instead cup his cheek, thumb brushing away the little specks of blood that are yet to wash away despite the pouring rain.
His eyes visibly soften as he sighs and shrugs off his jacket and puts it over your shoulders.
"You're gonna catch a cold." He whispers as his arms wrap around your shoulders, pulling your body next to him.
"J-Jacob?" You whisper.
His eyes go empty for a few seconds before he gives you a small, evil smile, "I took care of him."
Your heart falls and you swallow, the gravity of the situation dawning on you.
"B-but the body-"
"Lot of wolves in that forest.'' He says, indicating the woods right behind the building. ''They'll finish the body."
He smirks, giving you a look. "I believe Jacob came here drunk and passed out and the wolves took him." He pins you down with a look that makes you shudder.
You're now an accomplice to murder.
Gripping your chin with his thumb and index finger, he tilts your head up. "Hey. Nobody will know...unless you tell them."
That's right. Nobody will know.
With a jerky nod, your eyes meet his and even though your limbs are sore, you lean on your tippy toes and pull his lips onto yours by cupping his cheeks. His lips taste like rain and blood, full of danger but oh so tempting. Your tongues dance in a haze of fiery lust and passion and by the time you two separate, you're a little dizzy.
You should really get to the hospital.
"I won't tell anyone," you whisper, stroking the nape of his neck.
"Because I have nothing to tell. Jacob got eaten by the wolves. It was just an accident, after all." You state, surprised at how calm you are.
A grin spreads across Wonwoo's face, evil, satisfied and proud. You can't also help but smile a little as he captures your lips for a quick kiss before murmuring, "You're perfect, you know that little cherry?"
You swoon. "Maybe you can remind me when we are home. After taking a trip to the hospital, of course."
"Let's go." He holds out his hand and you take it as you both walk to his bike. Blood still stains his fingertips but you don't care as they transfer on your hands too. Instead, you let him slowly guide you away from the building, from that sick asshole who isn't breathing anymore, thankfully.
When you look down your hands entangled with his, a sense of odd comfort settles over you.
Sure, this man is completely unhinged and dangerous but he's also perfect.
Perfect for you.
You're both a little unhinged and that's fine.
What matters is that you are safe now. With him.
Smiling in contentment, you bring your intertwined hands up to your lips and press a kiss on his bruised knuckles.
You are bloody, yet safe.
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a/n: and hence, I chose the name Bloodily Safe! I know it isn't that good but istg I couldn't think of anything else😭. this is, undoubtedly, the darkest fic I've written yet and somewhere in the middle I started questioning whether it'd be a good idea to release this. but the urge to share psycho Wonwoo with y'all won in the end lol. I blame pledis for this, we need an actor Wonwoo in a villain role immediately!!! I've left it as an open ending so I'm here to announce that yes, I am planning on writing another part of this, something like an extended epilogue where we focus more on Wonwoo. their feelings for each other also remain vague here and I've kept it so purposefully. it's up to each of your own interpretation. if you'd like to hear mine, do send an ask. I'm all ready to analyze and discuss our fav psycho wonwoo. also, I've yet to proofread this thoroughly so there might be some errors. that's it from me for now, thank you for taking the time to read this! have a lovely day!
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