#I feel like I’m slowly going insane because 5 hours have gone by in 40 minutes

[skeletal-kitt]

#this is just a mood right now and no I will not explain why #I feel like I’m slowly going insane because 5 hours have gone by in 40 minutes #last night 6 hours went by in 30/60 minutes #my internal time clock is all fucked up #I don’t know how long it’s been since I’ve slept I didn’t sleep last night at all #I’m pretty sure I was awake all afternoon yesterday I think I woke up yesterday around 1 pm #it feels like it’s been 2 full days since 1 pm yesterday when I woke up but I know that’s not right that’s not what the clocks say #what even is time #time is a social construct that we humans made up for what reason #cause we’re batshit crazy that’s why #humans are crazy and we’re always making up crazy things and time is one of those crazy things that we made up up #I really want to punch a clock right now #isn’t there a meme somewhere of a guy punching a clock #ITS TIME TO STOP ya know that meme #ITS TIME FOR TIME TO STOP *ANGRILY PUNCHES CLOCK*

[editorialsonlife]

Well

Welp, feeling like doing an update because there's been a lot going on to be honest. its one of those weird dichotomies where every day feels like an eternity and there's so much going on and then you look back and you're like oh, ok its just my brain making it difficult and making things take forever but anyway.

LOCKDOOOOOOOWWWWWWNNNNNNN

Lockdown life was good, apart from being thrust into it so suddenly dave left a banana on his desk. Wasn't great to come back to after 5 weeks out of the office - mummified mouldy banana!! Classic. We luckily got our first jab before lockdown started so that was good, and we were reasonably well stocked up on food and were generally a lot healthier this lockdown that last. honestly, there's a level of chill and serenity in lockdown that i just love. the ability to set my own schedule and only work the hours I actually work to get the job done? Amazing. getting 8.5 hours of sleep each night without having to wake to an alarm blaring? AMAZING. getting to go for walks every afternoon? SO FLIPPING GOOD. I love it so much, I really really do. I need this to be my life permanently.

WORK

Work is just ongoing and draining and honestly, coming back to the office was so fucking stressful and it was only one day. Being at home is just the fucking bomb. Pending home decisions, I wanna go contracting I think, but also ideally two part time contracts to have more flexibility? I dunno. You'd think a big 4 would provide variety but it really doesn't and honestly, with Richie leaving, wellington is just a sinking ship. Sean's off on parental leave, Kirstyn is down to four days a week, ben will be gone if he doesn't get promoted (and I don't think he will be tbh). Jack is just muddling along, Nigel wants to swap to consulting as well, Matt's going to be a shit leader in terms of bringing in work so it's just not going to work. and in our wider group it's going to get even more messy with heaps of the analysts leaving and a couple of senior hires too. so I think it's probably time to jump ship in general, pending the home stuff below. Also, coming back after a break again, I'm like, I don't actually like a lot of you? All the people I enjoy here are in other teams and groups, and I'll be sad to leave you all, but like, not enough to stay anyway lol.

Pending the home below, two options are to just going and get a job with a $30k payrise to make up for the maternity leave benefits I'm gunna leave behind when I leave this role - 18 weeks full pay, $100 a week for the first year back and a full year of maternity leave. It's basically 30k post tax which is a bit nuts to walk away from to be honest.

Otherwise the other option is to go contracting. Less security overall but holy shit so much money. If I went in as a project coordinator at the lowest rate to build up a bit of a portfolio I'd need to work 40 weeks of 40 hr weeks and Id basically match my current salary plus the lost family leave benefits and still qualify for govt maternity leave payments. Realistically I could go in as a project manager for $140 an hour ($60 more an hour than the above math) and absolutely smash it at that level as well so ya know, there's a bunch of other info. I like the idea of the flexibility of it and only having 6 months even if its a shitshow and beign able to walk away at the end of it. I really don't want to get a govt job and this is a v govt town which is fine but also, if I can avoid it that would be great. I just know I'm not gunna thrive in that environment.

Need to talk to Dave to get him across the line on the security issue part of that though. I've mostly come a long way in terms of my financial management (thanks YNAB) so I think he'd be ok with it mostly.

So there's a lot to toss up there because......

HOME

We got the reno plans done during lockdown, finally. which was super good. but holy fkn jesus $$$$$$ ++++++++++. The guy is coming around for the final quote on Thursday. We indicatively said $100k total because we're doing kitchen laundry bathroom and toilet. so only the most expensive rooms and when I was talking to him last week he said 'that might cover it' and they're seeing cost escalations of 7-10% a week which is just insane. we're not doing anything structural apart from putting in a cavity slider in the bathroom, and the quote they'll give us won't include flooring since they won't do it.

Meanwhile, the prefab homes I were looking at for our site were $425k fully done. Like, I'm not going to spend $130K on doing up my 1940s ex state house ya know? That's not good cost benefit ratio.

So depending on what that comes out at on thursday we'll be able to make some plans.

We also want to start trying for kids next year and need these renos done first - I am not having kids and no dishwasher lol.

Also we need bank financing so good to be in a permanent stable job for that application. the good thing is we have so much equity we know we can borrow whatever we need, I just don't want to spend that much money on it because it's fkn ridiculous. and if I'm going on maternity leave we need to be able to cover it all on dave's salary and whatever benefits I have as well so there;s a lot of financial planning and spreadsheeting going on at the moment lol. it's fab.

either way. we've got plenty of options up our sleeve. we've got friends who's brother owns a building company so we can talk to them, we've got the garage so we can get things prefabricated even if they're not installed til next year, Dave can get shit at cost through his work for whiteware, there;s plenty of things to like cost control we can do, we just need to know where we're starting from basically. thats the challenging part. but we'll figure it out, its just taking longer than I want it to basically.

We also planted up the vege garden for the spring/summer which was lovely, super jazzed about that. we've finally got the garden to a reasonably low maintenance level where everything is mostly under control and it's such a relief, honestly.

PERSONAL

Man what a shift to lockdown last year honestly. I think the last 8 weeks in particular has just been like, a massive reality check of how absolutely shit the last year was and how fucking glad I am to be rid of it. I spent a week absolutely spiralling 2 weeks ago now and honestly, I don't know how I lived in the state for more than a year. I actually don't know how I did it. and I could not be more glad that I'm finally on the other side of it, for the most part. There's still a bunch of other stuff to work through (hahahahahaha when is there not like damn) but fucking hell its nice to just not be anxious and nauseous and wound up constantly. life is actually accessible. miracle.

My workmate had his bebe - I went round and got newborn cuddles and was like, oh, is this what it is to be clucky? this is odd. so there's that as well. I think we'll probably start trying next year pending renos and jobs etc. If the renos can be done in jan I'll prob just stick it at the job to get the benefits but I dunno. it's a tough call to make really. we shall see. This all assumes we get knocked up without any issues which is questionable these days. I really want to feel healthier before getting pregnant as well, and part of that is losing weight. however, given discussing that is what triggered the spiral we're working on that one slowly.

Also, lets have a moment for counselling, because fkn bless anne and all her hard work honestly. I actually ended up emailing her being like, I;m losing my shit on the monday and then talked to her on thursday. And its so funny because it's such a counselling thing but I didn't realise until afterwards what she'd done but she was like you're clearly not doing well and then the night before dave got a fkn miserable migraine and he was up for like, 2 hrs powerchucking except he didn't make it to the bathroom in time so guess who was cleaning up vomit at 130am trying not to chuck herself but I digress. anyway, not doing well, couldn't even explain why, didn't even have words and super tired and she's like, what lynaire up to this week how's she going with izzy and chat about that and then be like how are you feeling about your body and then 5 more mins of chat about the cat and the chickens and then like bam hard question and then hows it going with x and y and z and its like, it wasn't til I was on my walk afterwards when I FINALLY started feeling marginally better I was like damn woman work your magic for figuring it out for me and helping me reregulate. all over the phone as well since we were still in lockdown. GREAT WORK FRIEND.

and then last week was like totally fucked theoretical discussion about religion and the role it's played in my life and fate vs free will and all this nutty shit but genuinely just a great discussion. She's the best and I love her. thank good for good counsellors. thank god I can afford to pay for it honestly.

Dave and I are just chugging along, god bless that man. I love him. its amazing. I miss having friends close by but understand why they had to move (boooooo f u house prices). Family is pretty chill, still not really talking to dave's parents which is nightmarish but we'll deal with that when we need to. gunna have to go and visit them at some point coz dave misses them and I feel for him, I really do. It's the whole boundaries renegotiation I went through with my family last year post wedding blow up and its just not a fun place to be. oh well. can't fix it for him but also I'm not putting up with that level of BS from either of our families once we have children. not gunna happen.

Either way, life is busy and full and fun and I'm enjoying it. Daylight savings starts this weekend too, its october next week WTF and I'm just waiting for 4pm to find out what's gunna happen to our girls trip. Clearly we cancelled our sept trip to christchurch and akaroa and hanmer springs so my covid travel curse continues. fkn ridic. Still dunno what we're gunna do with $2500 of flight credits coz if we get knocked up theres def no international trips happening any time soon.

thus concludes the almost 2000 word write up of life. hope you've enjoyed it. I'll throw up some pics in a separate post if people care about reno plans. such a good time!

[butididntpourthewhiskeys]

50 Things I’m Convinced Tay & Joe Do - Part 2

1. Joe standing in front of the mirror and checking his outfit for the hundredth time before visiting her parents. He’d then constantly walk up to her, asking “Does this look alright? Or is it too much?“ and Taylor would just laugh at his nervousness but find it very cute that he cares so much about what her parents think.

2. Taylor always wearing glasses around the house and him telling her everytime how sexy her PJ and glasses attire is to him

3. Taylor excitedly pointing to the window and saying “Horses” whenever they pass a herd of Horses while driving through the English countryside.

4. Joe always looking at her food with a touch of disappointment on his face and murmuring “should’ve gotten what you got, love” every single time they order Chinese food, which is slowly driving her insane.

5. Taylor making Joe watch “The Sense of an Ending” for the eleventh time because she’s so proud of his accomplishments and wants him to be ’proud of his craft’ which he always comments with rolling eyes but a smile on his face.

6. Taylor giggling hysterically whenever Joe is seen on screen and holding his hand throughout the entire movie while squeezing it whenever his charm or acting skills are impressing her a bit more.

7. Joe always agreeing to watch his movies with her because her excited giggles and proud smiles are what gets him through every rough day even after a failed audition.

8. Joe always kissing her fingertips whenever they sit in the car and she complains about her cold hands.

9. Joe pressing his nose into her hair while mumbling a loud “no no no no no” after the alarm goes off in the morning.

10. Joe laughing and saying “s’ fine. Mummy’s just having a lot of fun” when Olivia starts meowing because she got scared by Taylor’s moans coming from the bedroom. Taylor would just start laughing from underneath him in bed, slowly coming down from a mind-blowing orgasm and mumbling “we have to shut the door next time, baby.“

11. Joe sometimes stepping up right behind her to place his hands on her back while she’s rinsing off the dishes and Taylor mumbling a quiet “Yeah go on, I could use a massage, baby.” which is always quickly followed by “No, Joe. Not on my boobs.” and his mischievous laugh in her neck.

12. Taylor always sending him random selfies, wether she’s grumpy and on the plane or just woke up on the other side of the globe because he told her once how his day always lightens up when he looks at his phone and sees her face.

13. Joe becoming really shy and not able to react cool anymore whenever she’s bragging about how he’s the “most amazing guy in the world“ in front of her entire family on a holiday.

14. Taylor standing in front of the patio door of her Rhode Island home, trying to get Olivia inside before it starts to rain even harder. „Olivia. C’mon. It’s raining!“ She’d yell, has no clue how to get the stubborn cat inside. Joe would walk up to her and slowly open the door a bit more to step outside “m’ getting her. One wet pussy in this household is enough.“ he’d say with a mischievous smirk on his face before getting hit by his girlfriend, who can’t believe how cocky he is at times: "You did not just say that, Joseph.”

15. Joe sometimes whispering a low „you’re the love of my life, do you know that..“ while laying awake in the middle of the night, holding her in his arms and listening to her soft snores and starring at her for minutes.

16. Joe and Taylor watching BBC documentaries until the middle of the night and having deep conversations and discussions about it afterwards.

17. Joe sometimes smiling at her in the middle of a serious discussion about a certain topic that was part of the documentary and answering with a quiet “god, you’re so smart. you have no idea how sexy that is.”

18. Taylor constantly burning her fingers while cooking and Joe always yelling a concerned “be more careful, baby. please.“ from upstairs.

19. Taylor’s heart melting when she enters the living room after preparing some food for her godson and finding Joe and him cuddling together on the couch and reading a book together.

20. Taylor always wearing his clothes in the house when he’s gone a for a few days for work. Even though his sweatpants are way to big for her, she’d always find a way to make’m fit while having a chilled day at home with the cats.

21. Joe calling Tay “the master of cheese“ because she always adds an extra layer of cheese on her pizza whenever they’re at home.

22. Tay and Joe watching “The Voice Kids UK“ on TV and Joe mumbling an impressed “we should really produce kids, baby.“ after hearing all these talented children sing which causes Taylor to giggle quietly, cuddle closer to him and daydream about the future.

23. Tay and Joe having these little inside jokes that are literally annoying everyone around them. Wether it’s on a night out with friends or at her parents house for dinner: One look is always enough to make the two burst out in laughter without anyone else getting the joke.

24. Taylor always bending up to him, pressing her face in his neck and kissing his warm skin softly before giving him a long hug.

25. Joe having a light obsession with her hair. He’d play with her ponytail whenever she’s sitting next to him, take every opportunity he can to run his big hands through her hair or kiss her head over her bangs because she just smells too good for him to stay away.

26. Joe and Tay both having these random habits that are a result of spending too much time together. For example, her starting to pick at Joe’s plate in the restaurant and putting some of his food on her plate as soon as the meal has arrived and everyone of her friends and family looking at her with a questioning look while she’d just casually answer with "he doesn’t eat eggplant.“ and Joe thankfully starting to eat his food afterwards.

27. Joe saying random phrases at times, like: „Der kaffee schmeckt koestlich. German. For ‚the coffee is delicious“ while packing his suitcase and her always repeating every single one of his remarks.

28. Joe feeling Tay get a bit jealous deep down inside whenever he talks about a romantic scene he was shooting on set and Taylor acting as if she couldn’t care less.

29. Joe and Tay being not just lovers but best friends. So much, that he even feels comfortable to ask her questions about the female body he always had because growing up with two brothers did not help him to develop a basic knowledge about the female emotions. He’d ask things like “Does it feel weird to have a tampon inside you?“ or "Is it annoying to have to wear a bra in public all the time?” which always makes Taylor laugh.

30. Joe always taking notes in his head about the moves and actions that bring her the most pleasure while making love. Like, every change of position, every pressure on his fingers, every kiss behind her ear that would bring her closer to climax would be saved in the back of his head. And over time, he knows exactly what buttons to push to make her come undone in his hands after only a few minutes.

31. Joe loving to wash her hair whenever they take a shower together

32. Taylor treating him like a baby whenever he’s sick. She’d cook him soup and tea, check on him every ten minutes, put on his favorite movies and mumble a casual “my poor baby.“ while Joe has cuddled his head into her neck and her stroking his scalp while laying in bed with him.

33. Joe convincing her how freeing it feels to sleep naked with nothing on but some underpants and her discovering that feeling of freedom in her bedroom of not having to put on some pyjamas to sleep but instead sleep skin on skin right next to him.

34. Joe feeling depressed all day long whenever he had the pleasure to fall asleep with her in his arms and having to wake up alone because she had to catch an early flight.

35. Joe trying to hide it, but finding it extremely cute whenever she couldn’t sleep at night and wakes up with puffy eyes and little curls all over her head.

36. Taylor always admiring how intelligent and well educated he is whenever he starts to explain her something about the economical outcomes of England becoming independent again and leaving the EU.

37. Taylor being dead serious while telling her mom that her future grandkids are destined to be blonde weirdos with huge foreheads and an indefinable accent.

38. Joe always providing her with her whip cream and chocolate when she’s on her period which leads to Tay mumbling an agitated “thanks for supporting my disgusting eating habits.“ while having her mouth full of whip cream and laying in front of the TV like a pregnant woman.

39. Taylor being super moody somedays and picking stupid fights over every stupid little thing.

40. Joe always being the one to end an argument even though he’s just as stubborn as her, but he simply cannot take a few hours of being in the same house as her and not loving up on her in any way.

41. Taylor discussing with him if “Taylor Alwyn” sounds good or not and Joe confessing to her that he sometimes dreams about introducing her as “Mrs. Alwyn” to strangers.

42. Joe receiving some messages from his family and friends on her birthday saying “Happy Birthday to your girlfriend” and he replied to every single one of them with “What girlfriend?”

43. Taylor fixing his hair almost every morning because the longer it gets, the more he complains.

44. Taylor playing him all the songs she wrote for him on piano while he just sits next to her, listening to her for hours.

45. Joe surprising her on set while Tay is shooting a music video and bringing Andrea and her their favorite Starbucks drinks which gives him extra mother-in-law points.

46. Joe chatting with Andrea while Tay is shooting some scenes and him constantly gushing about how amazing she looks, how nervous she has been all morning and what a talented actress she’d be while Andrea just looks at him in awe, thinking about how in love this guy must be with her daughter.

47. Taylor imitating his accent at times and saying “Baby, would you like some more wootaah?” and him just overhearing it because she starts doing it all the time that he basically got used to it.

48. Joe casually pinching her bum whenever she walks by just to hear her squeak.

49. Joe eating the most sugary and unhealthy chocolate peanut butter cereal for breakfast every morning and Taylor watching him while wondering how he can still be in such a good physical condition without suffering from diabetes or obesity.

50. Joe hating to wake her up in the morning when she’s sick but has to catch a flight to work on some very important and album related things. He’d carefully crawl into bed to her once again and kiss her face at least ten times before whispering a soft “it’s time, baby.” in her ear, pulling her inside his warm arms after hearing her complain already and mumbling “I know, baby. I know. I love you so much.” in her hair to make waking up for her while being super sick just a little better.

#taylor swift #joe and taylor #joe alwyn #joe and taylor fanfiction #taylor swift fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfic #50 things

[frenchibi]

top 5 books

Hello friend!!!! This is areally really tough question bc I read so many different genres and have SOMANY FAVORITES so I’m going to cheat a little bit… I’ll give you Top3 or 4 (I have no impulse control) for several genres so you’ll get more than 5total but not like.. an inordinate number of books, ok? xD (Who am I kidding I’mgoing off the rails, no apologies)

Fantasy

The Name of the Wind(Kingkiller Chronicles Book 1) and sequel(s) by Patrick Rothfuss. Has beentalked about loads in fantasy circles and I have nothing to add other than“this is the best fantasy book I have ever read, and probably in the top 3 ofbest books I have ever read, period.” The style blew me a way, the characters are fantastic, the system of magic/power in this world is the coolest I have EVER SEEN and… yeah. I’m invested.

Howl’s Moving Castleand sequel(s) by Diana Wynne Jones. Y’all remember the ghibli movie? This isthe book this is based on and it is way, way better than the already fantasticmovie. It is ridiculously charming and witty and lovely and I recommendeveryone read it. You will not regret it. This is my ultimate comfort book, if that makes any sense.

Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett – a hilarious bookabout the apocalypse with absolutely amazing characters and incredible styleand wit. We’re getting a TV series this year and I am beyond stoked. Pleaseread this. It’s… just… yes. British fantasy is SO GOOD.

Honorable mention: Die Stadt der TräumendenBücher by Walter Moers. Theremight be an English translation of this, but honestly I only recommend you readthis if you can read it in its original German – I’m not gatekeeping, it’s justthat so much of its brilliance relies on in-depth knowledge about German culture,history and language and it’s inevitably gonna lose that in translation. It’sone of my absolute favorite books ever and it pains me I can’t share this withmy English-speaking friends :/

YA

The Knife of Never Letting Go (Chaos Walking Book 1) by Patrick Ness. It’shands down the coolest YA book I have ever read and it doesn’t even… feel likeYA at all, more like sci-fi? It could just as easily have gone in the “experimental”category and I don’t wanna give too much away but… the typeface of this book ispart of its charm? Different characters have different fonts and shit? Definitelyread a physical copy of this. Also, the narrator is illiterate so he writeswords by sounding them out – and I know that sounds like that would bedistracting but trust me it’s fantastic??? Please please PLEASE give this atry.

The Watchmaker of Filigree Street by Natasha Pulley. Y’all want a good queerstory that’s not romance-heavy but instead has intricate worldbuilding and really cool magic? Pleaseread this, you will not be disappointed. This is a more “adult” version of YoungAdult Fiction and I absolutely love it.

A Darker Shade of Magic by V.E. Schwab. Is this fantasy, actually? Probably. Does it haveissues? Yes. Is it still a very fun ride with a cool magic/power system? HELLYES. Also the characters are a bit older, which works very well. It’s like YAafter you’ve kind of outgrown YA.

Murder/Mystery

The Strings of Murder (& sequels in the “Frey & McGray” series) by Oscar de Muriel –listen, the main character is a little SHIT and that’s absolutely fine? Themysteries are kind of convoluted but not in a distracting way, it’s just a funseries with fun characters that I really enjoyed!

The Seven Dials Mystery by Agatha Christie (and honestly pretty much everything she has everwritten) – I have nothing to say about Agatha Christie that has not been saidbefore :’D

Phantom bySusan Kay. Now this is kind of also a drama and it’s been a while since I’veread it so idk how well it fits into the murder/mystery category but it’s aboutthe Phantom of the Opera before he became the actual Phantom (or rather, thepath to how he became the Phantom), and I have endless love for this verydramatic and mysterious and misunderstood character so… yeah :D

Collections of Short Stories

Topics About Which I Know Nothing by Patrick Ness. Yes, this is the author of “ChaosWalking” (see above), and this is a collection of a VAST variety of shortstories he has written, all of which are insanely creative and so, so fun??This man has an insane imagination and I love it, instant recommendation toanyone honestly.

Dear Life byAlice Munro – another one that I read a while ago and don’t remember that muchabout, but I remember absolutely loving this book, and that it’s one of thebooks that made me want to read more short story collections :D

The Refugeesby Viet Thanh Nguyen – an interesting bit of perspective, this book centersaround different characters who are Vietnamese or of Vietnamese descent in theUnited States. I loved how eye-opening it was tbh?? I love reading books byauthors from cultures vastly different from my own and this was wonderful.

Poetry/Experimental

Milk and Honey / The Sun and Her Flowers by Rupi Kaur – two collections of very personaland touching modern formless poetry that honestly blew me away. I’m not a bigfan of classic poetry, or poetry in general, but these two books are justincredible.

Good morning, Good night by Lin-Manuel Miranda – a collection of Lin’s “good morning”/ “goodnight” tweets that, idk, give me hope for humanity? Ideal for perusing if youneed cheering up and just an all-round wholesome book to own.

Ella Minnow Pea by Mark Dunn – a “novel without letters” I wouldn’t know where to placeexcept under “experimental” because its premise is basically… an island thatslowly bans more and more letters from everyday use? It’s told in the form ofletters between the characters and it’s just… such a FEAT of writing, the waythe author forces his characters (and himself) to get by with fewer and fewerletters of the alphabet? Fascinating, from a writer’s perspective, and anabsolute recommendation!!!

Sleeping Giants (Book 1 of the Themis Files) by Sylvain Neuvel. This is a sci-fi book,but it’s under “experimental” because, well – it’s told through interviews. Iwas a little confused/put off in the beginning by this style, but the jaw-droppingstory pulled me in and hooked me. It’s a sci-fi EPIC… don’t get too attached toanyone because the apocalypse is coming for them all - and you’ll be at theedge of your goddamn seat. This is a fantastic series.

Drama

The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini. Honestly, anything by Khaled Hosseini, unsurpassedauthor of dramas that will rip your heart to shreds, and you’ll never be thesame after reading them.

Everything I never told you by Celeste Ng. This is one of those books that will never leave you afteryou’ve read it. It starts with “Lydia is dead. But they don’t know this yet.” –unravelling the mystery and consequences of the death of a Chinese-Americanfamily’s teenage daughter in gut-wrenching detail. A family story that willleave you sobbing on the floor but also filled with such profound hope forhumanity – I don’t even know. This book eviscerated me.

Homegoing byYaa Gyasi – the story of two sisters, one a slave and the other a slave-owner’swife, and their descendants. A family history of choices and consequence thatis… raw and personal and a very, very important book.

Home Fire byKamila Shamsie. The story of a British-Pakistani family – more specifically,the story of three children whose father was a terrorist. I am weak for familystories, and this one is politically charged and relevant and gut-wrenching aswell.

Novels/Fiction

The Hours byMichael Cunningham. The first book I read in a stream-of-consciousness style,and I still really enjoy the plot of it, too: The story follows three women;Virginia Woolf writing a novel in the 1920s, a woman reading this novel in the40s, and a woman basically living the plot of this novel in the 90s. It’sfascinating, really? I highly recommend it.

The History of Bees by Maja Lunde. Another story told in three time periods – a man whoinvents a new type of beehive for beekeepers in the 1800s, a beekeeper whosebees are dying in approximately present day, and a woman 100 years in thefuture who pollinates plants by hand because all the bees have vanished. It’s…fascinating, again, and a really good story. I also feel like it was quiteeducational? I enjoyed it a lot.

Small Great Things by Jodi Picoult. Technically this is a drama too (but shh) – it followsa black delivery nurse who is charged with a serious crime after an incidentinvolving the baby of a White Supremacist couple. It’s an explosive topic butit’s handled with a lot of nuance? Reading this book will frustrate you greatly,but I think it’s… idk, important? It shook me.

Eyrie by TimWinton. I have never seen depression portrayed more accurately than in thisbook. I was highlighting passages on almost every page – also the style ispretty cool? Snappy? Sharp? I’m not good at describing it but… yeah this leftan impact.

Non-Fiction (listen I knowthese are all by youtubers but hear me out)

So Much I want to Tell You by Anna Akana – letters written by Anna to her sister, who committedsuicide when she was 13. It’s raw and personal and important, stories aboutpersonal growth and lessons learned, about grief and regret and moving on. Irecommend this 100%.

Secrets For The Mad by Dodie Clark. A collection of charming stories and anecdotes and songlyrics and doodles – a book that reads like what watching dodie’s music videos andvlogs feels like. Safe and soft and personal. I love this.

Doing It byHannah Witton – a book about sex education that honestly everyone should read.Hannah blazes through taboos like they’re nothing more than hot air – as theyshould be. (Also, watch her videos.)

Bonus

The Alchemist by Paolo Coelho. I don’t even know what category to put this in? It reads like a fable and it is just... so beautiful and enchanting. Please read it, you will not be disappointed. It’s a story of chasing your dreams and self-discovery and it’s... just wonderful.

-

Did I make this entire listas a means of procrastination? Yes. Am I sorry? No.

Listen I have been wantingto blog about books for the LONGEST TIME but I never took the time to because…idk, I am not involved with the book reviewer community on any platform andhonestly I’m intimidated? But I do have a lot of Thoughts so if you’ve read anyof these and want to yell about them with/at me please dm me??? Or send me anask if you want to hear more detailed opinions about any of these from me????

…yeah. Thank you for this question,man. I love books.

Send me “top 5″ of anything and I’ll respond with my favorites!!!

#French speaks #books #book recs #rec #answered #ask me stuff

[licenselesswriter]

The One Who Stayed CH14

He would call himself a liar if he didn't admit that the first week with Maya in London wasn't like a normal one. He takes his daughter to school; she greets Mia and Jayden and walks inside as nothing happened. He greets Mark and they both go for coffee, only for him to run 10 minutes later for being late for work. He would arrive 10 minutes earlier than his shift and rest for a second in his office, until he heard his phone ring, telling him that his 9:30 A.M. patient has arrived. he would attend at least 9 pets before taking his jacket and run back to Lily's school to pick her up. she would run to him and, depending on her mood, she would grab his hand or climb him like she was a tiny koala, he would drive them back home, probably take Jayden with him, if his mother or sister approves of course, and Mia will join them after lunch.

Easy peasy lemon squeezy, he naively says.

3 weeks were enough to make him change his opinion. At the moment he arrived back at his house, after dropping Lily at Riley's new apartment, the loneliness attacks him.

He uses his time to clean his house, room by room and manages to clean them to perfection. He went to go shopping and cook his meals for the next 5 days, clean his kitchen and then sits on the sofa with a cup of tea. In 6 minutes, the tea is gone, he looked at his watch and desperation reign.

He grabs his jacket and drives to her mother's place. When he arrived, she hugs him and makes him feel the comfort only a mother can provide.

Due to the low temperature, Mary fastly serves 2 cups of tea and sits in front of her son.

- So? - she asks him.

- So what? - he asks back.

- Why are you here? - she asks him this time.

Lucas just looks at his mother - Wow, a hard crowd - he says and then takes a sip of his tea - Why you assume I'm here because I need something? - he asks.

- Because of the facts dear - she replies and caresses her son's face - Trust me, I'm more than happy to have you here, and I'm proud for not having you here completely drunk - she adds and takes one of the cookies she puts on the table.

Lucas just takes a minute before letting a chuckle escape his mouth - I'm a horrible son - he says, making his mother laugh.

- No, you're not, you're just a busy one - she defends him from himself.

- You give me too much credit - he says avoiding her look - Honestly, I'm here to ask for something, so you're not wrong - he confesses.

- It's about Lily? - she asks.

- No - he replies, but before he could say anything, his mother cuts him.

- Then it's about Maya - she points, surprising him.

- You know what, I'm not even gonna asks - he replies, making his mother laugh again.

Mary takes another sip of her tea - You're feeling stupid for letting her go to the museum thing with "the Uncle"? - she asks.

- I'm feeling stupid right now, but not for that - he answers - I need to deal with loneliness - he points out and take the rest of his tea.

- Hard question - Mary replies, looking at a picture of his family - Remember what happened when your father was transferred to Seattle? - she asks him.

- How could I forget? I had to double my training to lose all the weight I gained during that year - he replies with a laugh - It was insanely delicious but really hard, Maya and Farkle were the ones who most enjoyed that time - he adds, making his mother grabbed his hand.

- Well, that was my way to deal with loneliness - she says - Some people craft, some people knit, in my case, cooking was my answer, now you only need something you like to do, no matter the time - she adds.

Lucas just looks at his mother like she just discovered electricity - Well, it took me 2 years notice that my ex-wife was cheating on me, so, I'm gonna need a few hours to figure this out - he jokes.

- You should shop online - Mary suggests her son - Also, you need therapy, you shouldn't joke about what happened - she adds, taking another cookie from the plate.

A few hours after visiting his mother, Lucas felt his smile grow at the sight of that particular park, it still has the old graffiti certain blonde artist made in her youth. He was still able to remember all the nights he escapes to that park, and how the solitude helps him think.

Now, it only serves him as a reminder about how quiet his life is.

He also remembers that wasn't like that all the time.

He remembers his friend's laughs with him while they explore the city, or how he was amused by the size of the rats in the subway.

His brain even let him remember Riley's laugh and how Maya was clowning with her.

He was able to remember everything, Farkle and his Alter Ego Donnie Barnes, the evolution of Smackle, Zay's first ballet recital here, Maya sneaking into his room to study chemistry and spending every Friday night with Riley at the movies.

But he wasn't able to remember himself, and that makes him nervous.

Thankfully for him, his identity crisis was interrupted by an unknown number with a +44 area code.

- This is Lucas Friar - he answers the call.

- Guess who has a new phone - he heard, and his smile was back in seconds.

- Congrats on a new phone - Lucas replies and gets up from the bench he was sitting on - How's London this week? - he asks.

- Pretty much the same as last week - she answers - But God knows I miss certain pecan pie -she adds.

- Don't worry, you have one of the best Father-Daughter tag teams taking care of those pies - he replies, making her laugh.

After a few seconds of silence, she was able to notice something his mother was able to notice - Are you ok? - she asks him, testing the waters.

- Well, I still have 2 arms and 2 legs, so I can't complain - he answers avoiding giving an honest reply.

- Ok - Maya says with a tone Lucas wasn't able to identify - I'm gonna play it as I believe it - she adds - But you know at some moment you're gonna have to tell me, right? - she says.

Lucas just stays silent for a few more seconds - I miss you - he finally says.

- I know - she replies - I miss you too - she adds - But don't feel too flattered, I miss Lily more - she says in a joke.

- Of course, I know that - he follows her joke - I'm just the hot bonus that came with her - he jokes this time.

- I refuse to answer to that - Maya says refusing to believe the feelings he was making her feel - Speaking of, where is Lily? - she asks.

- Well - he looks at his watch, noticing how late was - I'm hoping she's sleeping by now - he adds before deciding to walk back to his place.

- I have her for weeks in my place, she's in bed - Maya says, remembering how Lily was in bed at 8 because she always was in bed at that time with Lucas reading her a story.

- If we weren't on bad terms with Riley, I totally would go and check on her - he says walking away from the park - Did you know she gets an apartment a few blocks from my house? It's actually nice because in that way I don't have to drive all the way to Cory and Topanga - he comments.

- Interesting that you bring that up - Maya says in a playful tone - Are you trying to make me jealous Mr. Friar? - she asks him.

- Does it show? - he asks back before let a soft laugh escape his mouth - It's your fault actually, I don't like that blonde guy who's with you on all your Instagram pictures - he tries to justify himself.

- You know he's gay, right? - she asks.

Lucas just takes a moment before giving an answer - I would like to retire my statement - he says.

Maya just giggles - Gosh, you're cute - she says.

They both spend a few seconds completely silent.

Lucas was the first to broke it - I've... I've been thinking too much - he finally confesses.

- About? - she asks him, a bit scared of his answer.

- Us - Lucas answers drily.

- Oh - she softly says - Care to share your thoughts? - she asks him, feeling how her heart rate starts to rise.

- Maybe when you come back - Lucas replies - I've been thinking a lot, and it's not something we can chat on the phone - he adds.

Maya felt something sink in her stomach - Should I worry? - she asks.

- Don't know how to answer to that - Lucas replies.

- Oh - she softly says.

They stay silent for a few seconds again.

- Call you next week? - Maya asks him.

- I'll be waiting for it - Lucas answers.

- Bye - she softly says.

Lucas wasn't able to reply to that, she finished the call before he had the chance.

Days went by, and through the weeks he was able to perceive a certain coldness every time they talk on the phone, and that only makes his regret heavier.

What kind of relationship starts hiding the fact that you just divorced?

The answer was easy.

The worst kind.

And of course, it's not only that, it's not like he forgets to tell her.

I plan on telling her once, and only once she came back from London, the sole premise makes him feel stupid.

But then his nightmares came back.

What if, because he tells her that he just divorced, she doesn't take the Tate Modern offer to stay with him?

He knew where that kind of frustration ends.

- Daddy, your hand is sweating - Lily softly says to her father while she dries her hand with her sweatshirt.

Lucas just looks at his daughter - I'm so sorry Lily, your Father is a bit nervous today - he apologizes and dries his hand against his jeans.

- It's because Aunt Maya is coming back today? - she asks him.

- I'm gonna say, Mom, am I right? - he asks back.

- yes, you are - Lily answers laughing.

- This is the best game I've ever invented - Lucas says while Lily make him stop - What? - he asks and Lily slowly climb him like a koala - Awww my tiny Koala is tired - he says pressing Lily cheeks with his fingers - What do you say little Koala, Ice creams and then I drop you with your Mom? - he asks her.

- Can I get cookies too? - she asks him.

- Nope, you already eat donuts this morning, and you know the rules - he denies, only to see his daughter pout - Don't pout, you're gonna get wrinkles - he adds.

Lily fastly stops, making him laugh.

40 minutes later, Riley was outside her building waiting for them, when she saw Lucas' car park she smiled.

Lucas and Lily walk out the car and Lily fastly runs to her mother - Mommy - she screams before hugging her legs.

- Lil' Koala - Riley says and caresses her daughter's hair - Lucas - she greets him.

- Riles - Lucas answers automatically, noticing in the second the disgust when she heard that nickname - Sorry - he apologizes.

- No need - she replies, then she softly gets on her daughter's height - I have a surprise for you - she says and Lily look at her like she was the sun - Grandma finally show me the secret of her Chard-Bread pudding and she gives me an 8 on the Topanga scale - she adds.

- I'm guessing you need someone to confirm that grade - Lily says and gets away from Riley, only to run to Lucas, only for him to pick her - Sorry Dad, but duty calls - she says and puts a kiss on his cheek, before he put her back down, letting her start her run to her mother's apartment.

Once she disappears in the elevator, Riley looks at Lucas again - You know you're more than welcome to stay for dinner - she says.

Lucas just gives her a sad smile - Sorry, have an appointment in a few less than 2 hours - he says looking at his watch.

- Ok - Riley replies with a nostalgic smile - Say Hi to her for me - she adds before walking back inside her building.

For a strange reason, Lucas felt bad for her.

18:34 was the time Lucas get out his car. White cardboard in his hand, with a huge “Shortstack” written on it.

It was finally the time, 3 months ended 2 days ago, and her flight was arriving in less than 30 minutes.

For a strange reason, tachycardia strikes again, but he was happy, so he just blames the excitement for watching her again in front of him for that.

37 minutes later, his heart starts to beat again like when he was 16. She was there, in front of him, so he just jogs a bit to her and hugs her - God I missed you so much - he says.

Maya stays silent for a second - Hey - she softly says hugging him back.

Lucas notices how light she was traveling, but decide to not say anything - I have a surprise for you - he says instead.

She looks at him and smiles - It is a pecan pie? -she asks.

Lucas just looks at her surprised - How in the world did you guess it? - he asks back, only to hear her laugh.

- My nose is the best in town - she replies while Lucas takes her handbag and holds her hand.

Once they get into his car, Maya started to eat the pie.

- Lord knows I've missed you Pecan pie - she says while she takes a bite with the plastic fork Lucas give to her a few seconds ago.

- Wow, that's Love - he says with a smile on his face, making her laugh.

- Do you think Pecan pie loves me too? - Maya asks him.

- How can he not? - Lucas asks back before turning on his car and drives them away from the airport.

Less than an hour later, they both arrive at Maya's apartment.

Maya lays on the floor - My overly expensive apartment, you don't know how much I missed you - she says and then gets up only to lay on the sofa - My sofa remembers me - she says feeling her body fits in the sofa.

- You're like a kid - Lucas says and sits on the floor, next to her - Should I order something to eat? - he asks her.

Maya smiled at him and put a kiss on his lips - You are the best - she says.

Lucas laughs - You really believe that or you're only saying that because I'm feeding you? - he asks her.

- A bit of both - she says and softly caresses his hair.

Lucas just smile, it was like everything was back to normal, she watches TV, he asks for Chinese food, then they eat, they smile, and they had a great time.

He was able to say that everything was going smooth for him until her words bring him back to a reality, he hadn't thought too much since he saw her.

- So, is one of the things you thought during this time a valid reason to hide from me the fact that you divorced on Lily's birthday? - she asks him.

Lucas just froze, take a sip of his Pepsi - Who told you? - he asks back, knowing there was no point in hiding it.

- So, it is true - Maya says and moves her sight from Lucas.

- It is - Lucas confirms - I've been divorced for a bit more than 3 months - he adds.

Maya just stays silent and cover her face with her hands - You know you're an asshole, right? - she says, more like a fact than as a question.

- Please don't judge me - Lucas begs and for the first time avoid to look at her.

He hurt her.

- Why? - she asks.

- Josh told you - he points out - He probably tells you why I hide it from you - he adds.

- Don't put this on him - Maya defends Josh - You're the one hiding things from me - she adds.

- Didn’t he tell you the why? - he asks her.

- I refuse to believe the BS he gave me as an explanation - she replies, feeling her anger grow bit by bit.

Lucas just looks at her in disbelief - Excuse my rudeness, but now I'm surprised, exactly what did he tell you? - he asks this time.

- He told me you hide it because you wanted me to take the job instead of staying here with you - she answers.

Lucas looks at her surprised this time, and if he was honest, a bit angry - And that's BS for you? - he asks - I can't believe it - he adds.

- Was that the reason? - Maya asks him getting up from the sofa - Wow, that's a lot of confidence in me and how stronger my feelings are - she adds in full sarcasm.

- It's not like that - Lucas says, trying to calm himself, and if he's lucky, calm her too - It's not a matter of ego - he adds.

- Well, it doesn't look like that - Maya replies - Just tell me the truth - she says, still refusing to believe that excuse.

Lucas just looks at her like she punched him in the face - I did tell you the truth - he adds and walks to her door.

- Really manly, go on, run from me! run from my questions! - she yells at him from the living room.

Lucas stops with the doorknob in his hand - Goodnight Maya - he says and walks out her apartment.

Maya wasn't surprised when the morning light starts to bright in her living room. "A living room you haven't leave since Lucas walks out of your apartment last night" she reminds herself.

Even when he was furious with him for hiding that from her, she knew that wasn't enough to make her stop loving him, and that infuriates her.

That's why she was completely surprised when she heard her door unlocking, only to see Lucas walk-in, perfect shirt, coffee, doughnuts, and sunglasses.

- What are you doing here? - she asks him, not with the intention to push him away.

- Well, I wanted to calm down a bit, wanted for you to calm down too, and that wasn't gonna happen with us in the same room - he answers before walking to her and sits next to her on the floor - Also, you deserve an explanation - he adds and opens the doughnut box, to take a Boston cream - And last but not least, I love you, and I think that is the most important reason of all the ones I listed before - he says and smiles at her before taking a massive bite of the doughnut.

- I do love you too Lucas - she says and let her head rest on his shoulder before taking a doughnut - I'm sorry - she apologizes.

- For what? I was wrong, I knew I was wrong when I decided to hide it, but if you let me explain why I did it anyway, I think you might understand my point of view - he replies and kisses her forehead.

- Did you get me a caramel macchiato? - she asks him.

- Yes - he replies with a smile on his face - because that's how much I love you - he says, making her blush a bit.

- Liar, you've known my coffee order since high school - she replies.

- Take the hint - Lucas softly says and then sit a bit straighter, making Maya lose her stand - Anyways - he started, trying to avoid what he just confessed - There was a reason for me to hide my divorce from you - he adds.

Maya just looks at him, this time with a serious tone in her eyes - Do I really want to hear this? - she asks him.

- It's nothing bad, it's more like conclusions people do after what happened to me - Lucas answers before putting his hand over Maya's hand - Do you have any regrets, Maya? - he asks her.

Maya takes a few seconds to answer - A few - she says.

- At this moment, I'm pretty sure regret is what break-up my marriage - he says - Not mine, I was happy, I, I - he tried to say but it was still painful to actually let the words escape his chest - Sorry - he apologizes and takes a drink of his coffee - I really believed I had the perfect family - he continues - A wife who loved me, a daughter who loved me, a nice home, my dream job, money to support my family, that was my top of the mountain - he explained before feeling Maya's head rests on his shoulder again - Don't feel bad, it's just a mountain - he adds.

Maya put a soft kiss on his cheek - I'm gonna start calling you Huckleberry The White - she jokes, making him laugh.

- Please don't - he replies - Anyways, I think the regret was what break my marriage because of all the things Riley sacrifice to take care of our daughter - he says and Maya looks at him confused - Riley is a person destined to do great things, greater than what her mother has done, but she had to put that on hold because someone needed to take care of Lily on the first years of my clinic - he explained - I was in the clinic 12 hours every day, usually stay late to check on the supplies and still, after all that, everything seems to go perfect for me, Lily didn't resent me for skipping the first years of her life and I started to make loads of money, and I think that turn the regret into anger - he adds.

- Why you're trying to justify her so badly? - Maya asks him.

- I'm not trying to justify her - Lucas replies - I'm trying to understand her - he adds - It's the only way to move on - he says - That's why I hide my divorce from you - he continues - I was scared that you might decide to not take Josh's offer to stay with me, and I know how important this was for you and your career - he finally explains why he did it.

- I would never do what she did to you - Maya defends her integrity.

- That doesn't take the nightmares of that happening from me - he says and Maya just hold his hand - 1 time almost kill me, first from alcoholism, and second, from all the times I thought about, you know - he says taking a tiny pause - Pull the trigger - he confesses.

Maya didn't want to, but her tears start to flow from her eyes, reacting to his story.

- And when I was at my lowest point, I get it, I understood what I did wrong - Lucas says feeling the knot in his throat - I force Riley to put me as her priority, and that should never be, you should be your number one priority, not an idiot who thinks he can pull anything from his hat, and honestly, I don't want that for you, I can't risk any little chance of you resenting me because you put me as your priority - he says, feeling a bit lighter from confessing the truth.

Neither of them was able to say anything for a few minutes after that.

Maya takes a deep breath and kisses his hand - Do you love me? - she asks him.

- With all my heart - Lucas answers in a second - Do you? - he asks back.

- Since that stupid 10 second relationship - she answers making him and herself laugh.

#GMW #Lucaya #Lucaya Fanfic #Broken Lucas #OoC Riley #Lucas x Maya #The One Who Stayed #I really wanted to wait to post this #But i needed to post it #This episode was brought to you by Bon Jovi's Lost Highway Album

[arconn]

I remember how much I used to do these in high school/my early 20s, I wish I could do an old one and compare responses. Here's one for today, 06/21/21

1) Sexuality? Pansexual, meaning I don't have a preference of what you're working with and I don't exclude those who identify as nonbinary/agender.

2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? Russel Crowe

3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17. with a stock of white, forearms tattooed in black Borean ink- the black dragon that marks him as an outsider. - Witches of America by Alex Mar

4) What do you think about most? That people want to be good and be happy but also very much have the opportunity to cause the opposite

5) What does your latest text message from someone else say? Hope you have today off...

6) Do you sleep with or without clothes on? Usually with but it depends on what time of year it is

7) What’s your strangest talent? Being able to guess poeple's zodiac signs pretty accurately.

8) Girls…. (finish the sentence); Boys…. (finish the sentence) should be treated the same

9) Ever had a poem or song written about you? Yes

10) When is the last time you played the air guitar? I don't even remember honestly.

11) Do you have any strange phobias? Preying mantasis, they absolutely terrify me and are bore deep into my psyche

12) Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose? Yes

13) What’s your religion? I identify as an omniest, meaning I find truth and beauty in all religions and also as a pagan witch- a woman who loves and respects the earth, her elements and the way it effects us. I read tarot and look for divine guidance primarily from a central collective consciousness/energy and divinity that is in us all.

14) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? Hooping, going on a walk

15) Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Behind

16) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band? Like a whole band with instruments and multiple musicians? Either Born of Osiris of August Burns Red

17) What was the last lie you told? That I was okay when I wasn't

18) Do you believe in karma? Absofreakinglutely

19) What does your URL mean? That I'm one tough bitch ;)

20) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength? My quickness to trust someone and be vulnerable and shutting myself off or down when I realize I shouldn't have. And loving other people and things, when I'm at my best I aspire to emulate loving goddess energy and make others feel safe and seen.

21) Who is your celebrity crush? I honestly am not a big fan of most celebrities

22) Have you ever gone skinny dipping? Honestly, no.

23) How do you vent your anger? Usually to a friend or through hooping

24) Do you have a collection of anything? Crystals, metaphysical books, tarot decks.

25) Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? Through messenger

26) Are you happy with the person you’ve become? Yes, though there is a lot I am still working hard on.

27) What’s a sound you hate; sound you love? The sound of people chewing or brushing their teeth and I love the sound of deep low frequency bass and my bunny Winston "purring"

28) What’s your biggest “what if”? What if a certain relationship worked out and I hadn't left and we stayed together

29) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens? I believe in the possibility of everything but also that anything can be debunked. I say yes to both.

30) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm. Left- my phone, right-a bag of cashews :)

31) Smell the air. What do you smell? A candle burning nearby.

32) What’s the worst place you have ever been to? Probably the part of Bahrain we got dumped in while waiting for our ship. Of course, at the time I had never been to or lived in Philly or Baltimore, but it was a lot and was absolutely not safe.

33) Choose East Coast or West Coast? East coast, but I haven't been to the west coast yet.

34) Most attractive singer of your opposite gender? Anderson Paak *heart eyes* thats my BAYBEEEEE

35) To you, what is the meaning of life? See #13

36) Define Art. Expression

37) Do you believe in luck? I believe in divine blessing

38) What’s the weather like right now? Absolutely beautiful and 70 something outside

39) What time is it? 2:51

40) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed? Yes, though I don't have a car right now. And no I haven't, only been rear ended once.

41) What was the last book you read? Been reading Witches of America by Alex Mar lately as well as some study astrology material.

42) Do you like the smell of gasoline? Love it.

43) Do you have any nicknames? Mana

44) What was the last movie you saw? The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It... it was absolutely amazing

45) What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? Dislocating my knee, it went all the way to the backside of my leg!!

46) Have you ever caught a butterfly? Oh yes

47) Do you have any obsessions right now? Learning my job and getting better at it, smoking weed, getting these next couple milestones together that are coming up.

48) What’s your sexual orientation? Pansexual, see #1 for an explanation

49) Ever had a rumor spread about you? Oh yes

50) Do you believe in magic? Definitely

51) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? Nah, I wish I could sometimes, but I'm actually pretty bad at it, to my own demise.

52) What is your astrological sign? Aquarius sun, Scorpio moon, Capricorn rising

53) Do you save money or spend it? Spend it. UGH.

54) What’s the last thing you purchased? A smoothie

55) Love or lust? Love

56) In a relationship? Not currently, no.

57) How many relationships have you had? I don't even know anymore... that would be a lot to count out.

58) Can you touch your nose with your tongue? Yes

59) Where were you yesterday? Work and then home and in my bed sleeping for almost 13 hours.

60) Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you? Yes, a hula hoop

61) Are you wearing socks right now? Nope

62) What’s your favorite animal? Rabbits and octopus

63) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you? Look at them very intently with my eyes and show genuine care/focus on them

64) Where is your best friend? I don't really have a best friend right now, my closest is in Maryland right now, but I haven't seen her in over a year.

65) Spit or swallow?(; Always swallow

66) What is your heritage? Irish/Scottish

67) What were you doing last night at 12 AM? DEAD ASLEEP

68) What do you think is Satan’s last name? Gon'getcha

69) Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off? What kinda question is this? Duh. Society is so weird about sexuality it's kind of gross. *shudders*

70) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend? Yeah!

71) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do? Yell for help, save the dog. Take pictures once the rescue is a success and try and explain it to my boss, if they let me go, they let me go.

72) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid? I tell everyone I care about, yes. I would spend the rest of my time with my family and saying goodbye to certain friends. I'd try to fit in as much live music as humanly possible as well and maybe take a few days trip abroad, probably somewhere where I could be on the beach.

73) You can only have one of these things; trust or love. Love, because if it's true, you get both

74) What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? Touch by Hybrid Minds

75) What are the last four digits in your cell phone number? 1***

76) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship? Trust, over communication, taking time for the cute and little things

77) How can I win your heart? ^

78) Can insanity bring on more creativity? Absolutely

79) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far? Letting things go in order to gain

80) What size shoes do you wear? 8 1/2 or 9

81) What would you want to be written on your tombstone? EVERYBODY LOVE EVERYBODY! C'MON! -WILL FERREL

82) What is your favorite word? Fuck

83) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart. Swell

84) What is a saying you say a lot? "The road to suffering is paved with expectations" -The Buddha

85) What’s the last song you listened to? Loan Shark by Commodo

86) Basic question; what’s your favorite color/colors? Lavendar, royal blue, deep purple, light magenta, neon red, burnt orange

87) What is your current desktop picture? $uicideboy$

88) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be? Oh boy, I don't think I'd want that to happen to anyone because they could be with other people like their family and shit. That would be so horrible.

89) What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on? Haven't found one yet.

90) One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do? Slowly look around and see if I can find a weapon, then quickly get to it and make a quick exit, defending myself from the mummies if need be.

91) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power? It's a tie between teleporation and being able to heal others/myself.

92) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again? My wedding day.

93) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? Early memories in the barracks at Fort Meade

94) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be? Al Ross or $crim

95) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? India

96) Do you have any relatives in jail? Not that I know of

97) Have you ever thrown up in the car? Yup, but it was into a bag every time

98) Ever been on a plane? Many times

99) If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say? EVERYBODY LOVE EVERYBODY, c'MON!

[crasherfly]

It’s Not You, Dummy, It’s Capitalism

We all need to work less.

That’s the conclusion I’ve drawn after 3 weeks on a 30 hour schedule. It’s too soon to say the change has been truly life-altering, but I can promise you it’s made a difference.

To clarify, my situation is a rather remarkable one- 

I work in the government, so I’m union protected. That, in and of itself, is of great importance and a source of security unavailable to most people in 2020.

Due to a pending budget crisis, we were given the opportunity to request reduced hours on a voluntary basis. We could retain our vacation accrual and insurance benefits. We’d simply work less.

I live in a dual-income household where the second income is considerably higher than my own. As such, my cost-of-living needs are offset accordingly.

Basically, all of the above had to be true for this option to be viable for me. Stars-aligning kind of stuff. It is absolutely an economic privilege that I recognize many do not have access to.

My student loan payments are delayed until January, so that’s a huge expense temporarily delayed that played a major factor in my choice.

So, goes without saying that yes, I am remarkably lucky. I’m not out of touch with the fact that many, many folks could not make this work. Luckily, that’s the point of this post! In a better world, everyone SHOULD have the chance to make this work.

With that out of the way, I would like to repeat, we all need to work less. Even if it’s just ten hours less, it would make all the difference.

The first week of my 30 hour/3 day work schedule was marked mostly by sleep and inactivity, my body simply recovering from the absolute insanity of 2020, which for me had been marked by constant workplace turmoil, incredibly strict job requirements, relentless electronic monitoring and the looming threat of budget-induced layoffs. Couple this with the stress of a self-induced diet and a tight spending budget as I pursued paying off all my credit cards, and it’s little wonder that I came face to face with a true, no-holds-barred meltdown in early August. 

I mean, sure, I had lost weight and considerably paid down my debts, but I was also drinking more than I had at any time since maybe college. My impulse spending had returned with a vengeance as I obsessively sought out new thrills. I was almost exclusively plugged into my video games and anime. I wasn’t creating, I was barely socializing, and my off time was just enough for me to catch up on sleep and occasionally work out before going straight back to the 40 hour, 4 day slog.

There was no epiphany moment in August where I realized I was having a meltdown and needed a change. I wouldn’t recognize my meltdown for what it was until weeks after the fact.

But when my department offered the reduced schedule option, something deep within me stirred- and I grabbed that opportunity as quick as I could. It was a visceral reaction. I knew that emotionally, spiritually, physically, I was in a world of hurt- and I knew why. It wouldn’t take a new therapist or hours of meditation to confirm- it was my job. I hated my job, just as surely as I had hated the job that came before it and the job before that- and it was killing me.

But economic necessity kept me from doing anything about it. I needed insurance. I needed the security of a paycheck. I needed to eat, to have a gym membership, to fill my car with gas, etc.

So when my workplace said “hey, we’ll let you keep all your benefits, just work less and take a smaller check”, I realized that hey...this was a pretty fair compromise. So I went for it.

The results? Well. See for yourself-

I sleep more, and with regularity, and without as many vicious all-nighters. I don’t spend time freaking out about how little control I have over my time, or how the sooner I go to sleep, the sooner I’ll just wake up and start the next terrible day of work all over again.

My workouts go longer and to greater effect, and I have more energy for them.

I’m actually writing on a daily basis again.

My homespace is the cleanest it has ever been, in spite of 3 pets and an ongoing pest infestation. I’m even doing laundry regularly. It’s wild.

I’m reading, meditating and watching media with intention, because my focus is slowly repairing itself now that I’m not in front of a screen 10-14 hours a day.

I have more time to invest in and socialize with the people around me.

I drink less. A lot less. And it’s become incrementally easier to continue making wise and kind consumption choices for my body- choices that will surely prolong my life, if I can keep them up.

I’ve been able to take up the side-projects and learning endeavors I had been putting off or had written off as pipe-dreams, ‘cuz I now have the emotional surplus to take them on.

And the list goes on- so many small things- cooking for myself regularly, not forgetting to brush my teeth, putting on new clothes every day- stuff that like, SHOULD be normal stuff, but just wasn’t, for me, is finally happening, ‘cuz I finally feel like I have the energy for it.

What I’ve learned so far is that when you aren’t killing yourself 40 hours a week, you might end up having more resources available to you than you did before.

I thought I’d be feeling a tight belt after my first check- but if anything, I’m shocked at how much more economic freedom I feel. Gone are the stress-induced impulses to spend on  items I don’t need. If anything, having less in the bank account has helped me look on the raw amount of STUFF I have accrued in my adult life and appreciate it more deeply- as well as part with a good deal of it.-

Not unlike my video game backlog, I’ve learned I have no small number of personal backlogs that have built up over the years. Books, movies, crafts, legos, electronics, workout gear- you name it, I probably have a collection built up for it- created in a moment of Capitalism-induced stress where the act of building that backlog was mistaken as accomplishment of following through on its end-objective.

These backlog collections were the product of excess- things purchased just ‘cuz. Things purchased to make the 40 hour death march feel Worth It. I mean, who wants to take a paycheck and see nothing for it beyond a few debt balances marginally reduce? When you have a pinball table sitting in your living room, that feels like a far more tangible reward for your work and stress.

But now that the work schedule stress is at least marginally reduced, the root cause of these growing backlogs having been addressed, I don’t feel like I need that pinball table. And as the days press on and my energy continues to return piece by piece, I realize that the several hundred bucks I traded in were more than worth what I’ve gained back in personal health. And as a result, I have more left over in the bank- turns out when I feel good, I don’t feel the need to constantly bleed cash or obsess over full online shipping carts. 

I just straight up don’t miss the money.

I mean, yes, obviously, less income can and does suck. Telling people I willingly took a lighter schedule often meets with a mix of reactions ranging from confusion to concern to outright disdain and judgement. If a sudden expense comes up- say, a medical emergency, I’d have to revisit this arrangement. And there’s always a chance I could get laid off, ‘cuz Covid is ravaging our economy, so having little cushion for that possibility is a source of stress and concern.

But otherwise, my case is a remarkable one. I was able to look at my current check, guess how much I’d be losing by reducing my hours, and feel pretty good about what I was left with. Most people can’t make that math work, and I empathize with that. 

But my point here isn’t to marvel over how lucky I am. My point here is that when you realize that it is POSSIBLE to retain essential benefits like health insurance without the proverbial gun of a 40 hour work week pointed at your head, you start to realize just how different American society could be- for the better.

Here are just a few things that could so easily be different if American society was even a little willing to bend just a tiny bit.

We don’t need to work 40 hours a week. It’s an imaginary and stagnant number that means literally nothing. We sure as hell don’t need to be on the job 5 days either.

Similarly, we don’t NEED most of the benefits employers dangle in front of us to keep ups for 40+ hours a week- benefits that could easily be transferred over to pure pay/financial compensation. 

I’d go so far as to say we don’t even really NEED the extra money, either, but for everyone to require less money is to assume that A) our entire economic ecosystem could change overnight (unlikely) and B) Most businesses can’t afford to pay us more for less raw productivity (patently false in most cases).

We don’t need to use half of our earned income for a place to live. We don’t even need to use a third of it or a quarter.

Good food doesn’t have to be as expensive as it is, and a gym membership/fitness assistance doesn’t have to be a luxury available only to those who can pay for it.

Medical insurance doesn’t need to be conditional- and it sure as fuck shouldn’t be tied to employment. Oh, and “elective” medical care and therapy should absolutely be freely available.

Cars/transportation/clothing/utilities/essential personal items (clothes/furniture/internet/etc) do not have to be paywalled behind requisite job/personal security- the same requisite security that often requires these very same things before you can obtain said security.

It should go without saying that you should not need job experience to gain job experience. Generally speaking, the people making twice as much as you are no different from you save for a few essential personal contacts that got them where they are. You could do what they do if given the proper time and training. In a perfect world, we could freely apply for anything, and it would be illegal to list years of experience or a degree as a job requirement.

We do not need to let employers monopolize our lives- no matter what incentives they might dangle in front of us. Our jobs should be just that- jobs. A place we go to create something for someone else in exchange for compensation. They should not be our purpose. They should not take up the majority of our time. They should not cost us our physical or emotional well-being. 

We need to stop pretending that our employers are interested in anything beyond productivity for the sake of productivity.

And then we need to prioritize ourselves accordingly.

The list can go on and on.

So many of these things really aren’t a reach. They truly aren’t. Other countries do them, and have met with success. But whether by stubbornness or greed or simple laziness, American society just can’t or won’t consider these asks.

I’ll just end with this-

I’m on the other side of the typical employer-employee agreement, where I’m retaining my most important benefits but simply working and earning less. It’s a realization of like, half a bullet-point from my “how society can get better” list, but even this mere half-realization is a life-changer.

It’s not the right choice for everyone. And certainly, there are people who would even prefer to work and earn more.

But our entire society shouldn’t be contingent on that being the ONLY option.

Everyone should have the choice to do what I’m doing right now, if they want.

But for that to happen, our society needs to fundamentally change.

I believe if our society changes and extends even the most meager of employment and benefit flexibility to its citizens, we would all, every last one of us, be happier and more fulfilled. 

If you’re working 40+ hours a week grinding out a living and are beating yourself up ‘cuz you don’t have time or energy to keep your home clean, work out, eat healthy, do your laundry, invest in social opportunities, skill building, or even undertake personal investments like a car or an updated wardrobe-

It’s not a You issue.

It’s a Capitalism issue.

And the only way it’ll be fixed is everyone can be afforded the same opportunity as I have been.

[maxthommusic]

The Musou Genre Is Exactly Why We Should Want To Pay More For Our Games

I have to say: I’m absolutely loving Hyrule Warriors. It’s a musou-style game, a la Dynasty Warriors, for the Nintendo Switch (and originally, 3DS). While the main criticism of said games can be that they’re ultra repetitive (and they are), something also should be said of game intent, purpose and console aesthetic. While Dynasty Warriors has always felt too arcade-y for sitting on the couch, hyper-focused on playing a game, this iteration set in the Hyrule universe is really amazing on the oft-portable Nintendo Switch. My girlfriend and I play a round or two before bed, making it the perfect sort of mindless fun we can do together. Controls are easy to remember, objectives are simple, and the presentation is really well-done. Including characters that have a storied lineage really magnifies the intrigue of a musou and I’m actually delighted by the story too. Although the narrative isn’t quite on par with Zelda standards, the overarching plotline certainly holds up; it’s definitely more than I expected find in Hyrule Warriors, which is a great surprise.

And what brings me to this post today is to celebrate the concept of these “mindless” arcade games and to also examine how we can keep them apart of the gaming ecosystem. After playing through behemoths like FFVII: Remake and The Last of Us: Part 2, sometimes its easy to always want AAA titles that push the limits of hardware, design and expectation. However, sometimes it’s nice not being such an active participant within an interactive media.

Exhibit A: Hyrule Warriors. Sometimes the ingredients just mix well together. I’ve played several Dynasty Warriors, I’ve tried Samurai Warriors. And while I had a passing interest in some of the Gundam musou entries, I skipped ‘em due to poor reviews. However, after stumbling upon Hyrule Warriors, I’ve started doing some actual research on the genre and the fandom, and it really seems like musou is generally misunderstood.

On the podcast I enjoy, Sacred Symbols (paid patron), musou games came up recently and there was some discussion about how bloated the release schedule is. How can Omega Force keep releasing all this stuff? And on some of the reviews I read that knocked the games, one critic, in particular, mentioned that Fire Emblem Warriors is “as boring as all the other musou games.” Its a 40/100, the lowest grade by nearly 30 points. Without it (again, the shoddiness of Metacritic is exposed), Fire Emblem Warriors would be “in the green” and plainly above 70. When you do any good dive into some research on the genre, you’ll see a lot of people on the forums own several next-gen musou games. When one drops, people eat ‘em up. To claim that an entry is “boring like the others” is a bit too subjective my tastes. 

One of the best comments I read was from a user who exclaimed he needed “something mindless” like “EDF” (Earth Defense Force) or  Dynasty Warriors after he’d just finished Assassin’s Creed: Odyssey, a notoriously bloated experience. The idea that there are different games and different genres to be played at different times is something I love exploring. It’s like the varying flavors of a fine meal, or even a diet spread out over weeks, months or even your entire year. In gaming we talk about absolutes too much: which is the best console? Which genres do you play? What’s the game of the year? What’s your Top 5? There should be multiple answers to all of these, all the time. As we witness more and more toxicity in the games industry, I can’t help but think embracing a genre like musou could be the key to expanding our perspectives.

Now I don’t mean musou explicitly. I mean find your musou. Honestly, I’ll play any genre given the right circumstances. For someone who doesn’t play sports games, I would happily buy Fifa if you told me I had a crew who wanted to play it online. I never thought I could be into Rocket League, but Playstation made it free and then I went on to get the Platinum Trophy because my mates and I had such a good time. Things are highly elastic when it comes to games and their genres. But sometimes we see them as more rigid, and the only absolute here is that they absolutely aren’t. 

Exhibit B: Maneater. Here’s a $40 game from Deep Silver that’s somewhere in that AA space. A lot of people knocked it for being repetitive, but again: let’s embrace it for what it is. Intention is often ignored when reviewing games and not only do critics need to work on this, but users too. People rely heavily on other people’s impressions of a game to know if it’s fundamentally fine. Ripping on something for being too repetitive, too short, or too confusing will turn people off. I’ll be the first to admit I stayed away from Fallen Order and Control because I read they had performance issues. While I eventually ended up doing FO as a gameclub with a buddy, my experience was 100% hindered by chugging framerates and long load times. I’m still disappointed I’ll be waiting for Control until I can play it on Playstation 5, but I know my enjoyment will increase ten-fold if I can be patient. But when a game like Maneater is designed as more of a quick pick-up-and-play title, is calling it “repetitive” very fair? Should it have been reviewed through a lens of “play through its entirety as quick as possible?”

Exhibit C: Ghost of Tsushima. The new Playstation exclusive drops this Friday (7/17) and critics are mostly enjoying it. Some of the “less than stellar” reviews I’ve seen, though, fault it for some shoddy presentation in the wake of The Last of Us Pt 2. Which, again, I think is unfair. Comparing Tsushima to TLOU2 doesn’t seem very applicable. TLOU2 is in a league of its own in terms of budget, scope and talent. While Suckerpunch is well-regarded, they are by no means Naughty Dog. Even Insomniac seems to have eclipsed them a bit, growing with nearly every game they release. Suckerpunch, in my mind, sort of knows where their playground is and sticks to it. Which, again, isn’t a bad thing. It’s been some time since I’ve played an open-world game that really drew me in. Ghost of Tsushima’s aesthetic seems ripe for picking, and when a critic mentioned that it doesn’t seem to break any new ground for the genre, I kinda have to throw my hands up and go, “So?” When’s the last time you got to roam Japan as a ghostly samurai? Doesn’t that maybe count as “inventive” enough? For example, if we got Grand Theft Auto, exactly as it is, but set in London, Tokyo, or maybe even Russia, I’d finally have an interest in the series. Somewhere international sounds tantalizing. What’s more is that Japanese critics seem to be loving Ghost and a lot of that stems from it’s overall design aesthetic. Most critics, anywhere, have said it’s a really beautiful game. Sometimes isn’t a game worth playing just because it’s stunning to look at? Rez Infinite is a prime example of something that is fleeting yet remarkable. The original PS2 game may be in the package, but it’s the Area X that’s the real prize and it’s absolutely less than a 30 minute experience. But that’s the thing: it’s an experience. In no way would I ever look at what’s being offered and go, “It’s too short.” Too short by what comparison? Did I love what was offered, yes or no?

As time marches forward, I can’t help but continually feel like games journalism is slowly deteriorating and fan expectations are completely out of whack. One look at the “price increase” debate clearly shows fans don’t understand capitalism, value, and scope. Colin Moriarity, from Sacred Symbols, very openly supports the debate that you aren’t going to see any CEOs trying to let go of their profits. The argument that games’ prices shouldn’t go up because people at the top are rich enough is completely against the entire framework of our society. The concept that businesses are meant to grow is completely fine, in my book, and as game prices haven’t gone up to reflect inflation, we could probably at least do that much for our industry, right?

I think the most tantalizing part of this argument is that not all games are profitable. As dev cycles become longer and more expensive, we need to give studios the ability to invest in smaller projects and maybe even risky ones. Without a bunch of overhead capital, we will see an industry that becomes totally stagnant, devoid of unique offerings. The big players will continue to hit hard and the money-makers will continue to roll out. So expect Assassin’s Creed, Fortnite, Call of Duty and Halo for the rest of eternity (plus whatever Naughty Dog does). For some gamers that’s probably totally cool and fine. But I’m not one of those players. I would mostly stop gaming if all I had to look forward to were games as services or check-box open-world games. These styles are popular because fans love the insane amount of hours they can pour into one investment. Publishers love them because recreating assets and scenarios gets pretty easy for the titles after a certain point. But this can’t represent the entire climate. While I didn’t love Death Stranding, I’m so happy it exists. I’m ecstatic that this game emerged and took as many chances as it did. I’m thrilled Naughty Dog was allowed to take the gambles it did with TLOU2. Even look at Dreams: every person who loves dreams should be embracing a $70 price point because that kind of experience will not exist if companies aren’t extracting profit. Because you know what else? Those money-grubbers will never let go of their profit. Our experience will diminish greatly before they see lower dividends. So consider paying in a way to ensure the industry thrives in the way you want to see fit. Which I think is the heart of the matter.

We control this industry. Don’t like MTX or DLC? Don’t buy it. Don’t want it in your face? Don’t purchase or support those games. If you’re like me and you want a wide genre of games available to you at all times, consider being pro-price increase. Also consider buying games right as they come out. Too many people pirate or wait for sales. Yet those are the same people not in favor of a price increase. Those types of consumers are already hurting the industry. Think of all the people getting fat on free content who never pay a dime for their games. Those people are also trying to weigh in on something they don’t really support to begin with. Publishers have been, ostensibly, trying to charge you nearly $100 per game for several years now with their Deluxe Editions and DLC. If you’ve ever thought this “price-gouging” was ridiculous, consider why it exists in the first place that isn’t related to the tired argument of, “they’re greedy.”

Games are a total luxury. And the people who will determine the future of this medium are the people who actually pay for this luxury. The argument that “you can’t afford it” isn’t appropriate, in my mind. While I sympathize with the notion that it sucks having to pay $60 or even $70 for a new game (especially one that might not be very good), you have to consider what these games cost to create. And if people want today’s offerings to be $20, $30 or $40, it’s simply not realistic. Additionally, we want all different kinds of games, too, right?

I do believe that’s the crux of the argument: I want to be able to play Hyrule Warriors, Sonic Forces, The Last of Us Pt 2, and Ghost of Tsushima. These games are not created equally. While TLOU2 might be a sales giant, Ghost is unproven. It’s got Suckerpunch behind it, but that’s a brand new IP coming out at the end of the Playstation’s lifecycle. If you want more games and more risks like this, you’ve gotta purchase the titles representing these decisions. I love that Hyrule Warriors and Fire Emblem Warriors both exist for me to play. If the ecosystem isn’t supported properly, we don’t get these options. We might get one huge hitter from the “Warriors” franchise instead of a handful. We might get one exclusive from Playstation in any given year. And the reason I emphasize this shrinking of the industry is because not only are publishers reaching for a price increase, but industry leaders have also come out saying things aren’t sustainable on a $60 per game price point. If you truly examine the argument, it just doesn’t make sense. I paid $60 for Killzone 3 on PS3 and TLOU2? No, that doesn’t add up. God of War (PS4) and Horizon Zero Dawn are valued the same as something like Homefront (PS3)? 

The other side of this argument suggests that we could try and explore more price points... but I stand by the notion that Homefront probably did cost $60 at the time. It wasn’t trying to be a budget title. But as we’ve gone forward in time, gaming experiences have expanded exponentially. I truly believe that something like TLOU or Ghost probably do need to extract more than $60 from their users. Yet below that price point, there’s a lot more room for investigation. We need to see more Maneaters and Hellblades. Think of all the quality content Supergiant Games has made (Bastion, Transistor, Pyre, Hades) that have come out at “budget” price points... There is a great exploration of content type and price that can (and probably should) emerge as we head into the great unknown.

At the end of the day, I just love gaming. I love it. It’s my favorite thing in the world. And I want to see it thrive. The reality is that money talks. In my life I’ve seen only the benefits of paying for goods and services versus taking things for free or if they are offered at a steep discount. Great things should and do carry real value. We need to respect that value in all things. My hope is that the gaming community can see this in their hobby and start to respect it more. Because so far, anyone I’ve engaged with in this conversation, has not once said they pay full price for their games. I listed Doom Eternal on the Facebook Marketplace and people are upset I’m charging $30, free shipping, when the cheapest it exists on Amazon is $41 + shipping used. eBay is roughly the same price and Gamefly has a copy for $39.99 right now, used. I told one guy I just listed it and that I’d like to try and get $30 since it’s the cheapest I can find. He retorted, “Yeah, brand new maybe.” Doom Eternal is still $60 on Amazon, Best Buy and Gamestop. I know that my experience is in a vacuum-- all of our experiences are. But we need to discuss them so that the anecdotal evidence can tip in one way or the other. And this experience with Doom is not the first time I’ve witnessed gamers being completely out of touch with prices and value.

I used to work for a used goods store called Half Price Books. I learned full-on what the value of something is to a re-seller and the life cycle of an item getting marked down and potentially sent to clearance. For every product that sells at full price, several others go to the bargain bin. This means HPB was either breaking even or losing money on most items. Re-couping costs on those top-shelf commodities is essential to the business and it’s vital to most capitalist ecosystems. HPB can only survive thanks to the people who see an item they want, understand its value, and pay the price we initially set. Every company trying to sell you something is basically operating the same way. And what I also learned from HPB is that people don’t understand what their own possessions are worth. People would get upset a lot that we wanted to pay so little. Gamers have been facing this for decades with second-hand shops like Gamestop, EB Games and more. But what people fail to see is that most stuff is crap. And not only is most stuff crap, but if the good stuff does come around, the business officially has to make up for missed or lost sales somehow and your awesome item needs to be purchased and sold for a price point that helps the business. 

Just take a look at TLOU2 versus Days Gone. Similar games, both exclusive first-party titles. One sold extraordinarily well, one did not. Playstation literally needs TLOU2 to dominate so a game like Days Gone can get a chance. While the profit numbers will show TLOU2 to be a massive hit, that money helps out in other sectors, bolstering the entire platform. The people who worked very hard on the game deserve those bonuses coming their way. They deserve the champagne glasses that say “The Last of Us Pt 2″ on them with commemorative decor. Imagine if you slaved away on something for your job and at the end your boss said, “Great job,” and that’s all you got. Don’t you want a pizza party? Or an extra check in the mail? Or even a new mug? 

We gotta pay for the things we love so the things we love can continue being labors of love. Real people are needed to create the experiences we cherish so much and respecting them comes down to understanding the value of what we choose to play every day. If you comprehend the value of what’s on your big screen TV, paying more for games shouldn’t sting too much. Because if you’re anything like me, you don’t even have the time to buy every new game that comes out. I rarely pay full-price for a game because I’m so busy digging through backlog titles that have often been on sale for several months already. But when games like FFVII: Remake or Ghost of Tsushima do come along, I’m really happy to be first in line, paying the full-price of admission. I just wish more of my fellow gamers felt that way. Because I’ve heard all the other arguments; I’ve heard ‘em. I don’t buy into them at all. We vote with our wallets and whatever issues you have with the industry when it comes to “greed,” consider what you’re playing. I have had zero issues with microtransactions in my gameplay choices. If you, for some reason, are just appalled that MTX exists at all within a game, then I recommend you just check your baggage at the door. I paid full price for Persona 5: Royal which has all kinds of things I can buy on the side to bolster my experience. I haven’t touched those add-ons, I don’t plan to touch them and they, in no way, have affected me playing P5R. You can feel the exact same way and don’t need to be upset that MTX exists simply because MTX exists. The next time you see it, consider what you paid for the game you’re playing. If it was anything less than full price, MTX is a great way to try and recoup the money they lost on your discounted cost. And if you did pay full price, think of all the people who didn’t or won’t. MTX exists so Atlus can publish / localize the next Persona everywhere they intend to. It ensures we get killer voice actors, great translations, and cool spin-offs. It helps create a vibrant community, something that exists well outside the bounds of the original game even.

Really, I just want the best game possible. All the time. When I play a really awesome, beautiful game, it usually takes my breath away. I’m consumed by it; totally entranced and in-love. To me that can cost more than $60. I spent 80 hours with FFVII: Remake. 80 hours, man. I was blown away for every second too. For about $100 a night + food, drink and excursions, I can go stay on a beach for the weekend. That’s easily around $500+, if not more. While they’re completely different experiences, FFVII:R had years of nostalgia baked into the mix. I would choose to play FFVII:R over many, many other kinds of experiences. Microdermabrasion? $80+. Date-night with a new fling? Easily $100+. 30 minute massage? $40 + tip. FFVII:R gave me 80 hours of pure joy and all I paid was $60. That’s a steal. 

Just consider what you’re really getting when you buy your games. And if you feel like you’re already in my camp, then please share the love. I wanna know where my crew is at; where the homies are. Because video games are incredible. And the way the conversation is breaking down about price increases, it’s hard to tell if some people actually love games the way I do too. When you really love something, you want the best for it; you aren’t cynical towards it. It’s my belief that the games industry, by and large, is not out to screw us, it’s just trying to find ways to be viable for years to come. If you don’t like the way it’s trying to thrive, don’t support those ways. But you gotta support something; saying that games need to be “cheaper” isn’t really an option. Because games have never been much cheaper than this when you factor in inflation. We got to have our cake and eat it for a long, long time. Now we gotta pony up. 

#price increase #gaming #industry #money #capitalism

[theatari]

Good Company

He came whistling into town, smile on his face, that’s the first thing I noticed. With a second glance then you could see that he was dressed in a black suit no tie, hands in the pockets of his jacket. It’s unknown to me why I looked up at him but he was something else, he gave off a weird vibe.

I went back to working on my car, it had dropped a gallon of oil and needed to likely have the gaskets replaced but you don’t just get rid of something because it needs a repair. Nothing this classic anyways, so I wiped the sweat from my brow and continued on.

A usual around noon I walked down the street to the core of buildings that made up our bustling metropolis. The bank on the corner, across sat the small grocery store, followed by 5 abandoned storefronts peppering each side of the gravel street, occasionally broken up by an empty lot, then Sam’s Cafe then the bar.

I went into Sam’s Cafe, though it should have been called Cheryl's. Sam had been dead and buried 15 years at this point, but she wanted to keep the name. I guess because he was her father she had some kind of weird attachment to him but she didn’t owe that asshole anything.

Cheryl greeted me on my left behind the counter as I opened the door. She already had my coffee set out on my table by the wall towards the back. Oddly enough the fellow who had been whistling was sitting in the corner across from me watching the television up on the small rack. TV was probably 20 years old, and I wasn’t sure if Cheryl knew how to change the channel as it was always on something strange. Horror movies in a family establishment was a little odd, but that was what was playing today, and I had seen stranger. Some guy with a chainsaw for an arm was revving up and yelling I tuned it out.

Smiley sat back with his eyes half closed feet up on the seat across the table from him. I keep to myself so I sat back and had my coffee, and read the local coffee mill while Cheryl brought me my lunch. She knew what I liked, burger with fries and a side of gravy. She brought it to me, but wasn’t all too chatty. Which was odd. I’m not a big talker but I do love to listen and I come here mostly just to hear her ramble about all the local gossip. Kevin at the bar breaking a window and getting thrown out(which has happened more than once), Carol sleeping with the Magintry boy. The regular small town stuff people spout off about..

I was about to dump some ketchup into my gravy like my grandma had shown me, so many years ago in this very cafe, when the chair across scraped across the floor. I looked up and noticed Smiles looking at me wide eyed.

“Can I do something for you?” I asked, I truly was curious but there was also annoyed he would disrupt a 40 year running tradition. I relaxed when I realized how silly it was to expect a stranger to know such a thing.

When he didn’t respond I figured it was best not to poke the bear and continued on. 20 minutes it took me to finish my meal, drink my coffee and pull out the money for lunch. Cheryl typically keeps a tab for me, but that’s when I’m in on my lonesome. I can’t bare to have someone judge me for not paying so I payed and gave that day's tip. I tipped my hat to the fellow and said “thanks for the date” and started to the door.

I think his eye twinkled a bit and his smile got marginally longer. It was an odd sight, and I felt a bit weird again, and wondered if I should ask Cheryl if she wanted me to do any work around the cafe. Just then Big Ends working crew came clamoring in the door. I wasn’t sure what they were doing in town during harvest, they should be out in the fields, but as I obliged them on my way past, it turned out that the belt on the Combine so a run into town for the part was required. Everyone decided to tag along and relax.

feeling a bit more comfortable leaving Cheryl with Smiley, I bid her, Ends and his crew a good afternoon and walked out and back home.

The rest of the day went off without a hitch my car was turning over again at least, but the black cloud it was producing wasn’t much of an improvement. I was putting my tools away for the night when there was a sound off in the distance, It was a peculiar buzzing sound. I looked around for it then when I could find it, went to put my tool box in the garage. When I turned back around to walk out of the garage to lock up there he was. That fucker Smiley was standing right at the door to the garage, the evening sun casting his long shadow towards me, face now obscured by the glare of the sun behind him and the shadows of the garage. Even though I couldn’t see it I was sure he was as wide mouthed as ever.

I didn’t know what he was doing here, but that was three times today. Twice that he took notice of me. Twice that he had come into my personal space, one too many times on my home turf. I was going to wipe that hidden smile off his face.

I played it casual, no need to tip him off until I was properly situated. He had caught me off guard but there was a large space between him and I and I knew the layout in there better than I knew my own face in a mirror.

“Howdy again, I’m sorry I’m afraid I already have a dinner date. Perhaps we can do lunch again sometime instead.”

There was a kind of hissing laugh that seeped up from his face. He was slowly moving towards me. Like me though he wasn’t moving fast. It was a bit more of a dance, me moving to one side while he adjusted slowly to casually cut off my exit while slowly closing the gap between us. Over on my bench I had the tire iron, I had used to jack up the car earlier to do the tire rotation. I just needed a couple more moves in order to obtain it. As I slid casually I tried brokering a new conversation. Why was he here? I couldn’t figure out what the deal was with him.

He broke the barrier of sunlight so the shadow that obstructed him no longer hindered my view. His deep dark smile was almost from ear to ear dried blood on his chin, on his shirt. Way too much. I was having a hard time staying calm but I had my tire iron, heavy and in hand.

“Seriously asshole take a hint and get out of here”, Smiley just kept walking closer not saying a word, “I will end you if you take one more step in my direction”

The laugh, I hadn’t heard anything like it before, and not since. Guttural, wet though not really menacing. Oddly enough it was just like the whistling I head in the morning. I was no longer looking at him though I imagine he was still smiling, slicing a line from lobe to lobe. Instead I was searching for something more dangerous to hit him with, perhaps with more reach. This thing didn’t seem human anymore, not that he wasn’t, my brain was running away on me.

I felt something cold paw at my hand, dragging me, digging into my hand. It felt like blades cutting into my bones. I heard a small crack of one of the bones and something grab my shirt before my other hand took notice. It was the oddest thing, I’m getting old, really old, but my reaction time was never that long. Hell my dead grandma could move quicker, but as she would say, no one could hit harder. One stroke with the end lined up to his skull and I had done my own cracking.

Smiley reeled back in pain, falling onto it’s knees, only momentarily though. It was clawing towards me, and when I say that I mean Smiley dug his fingers in the cemented floor of my garage and started dragging himself towards me. I was shocked again, though my reaction time didn’t wain like it had before. I moved and just as Smiley was about to stand I gave him a nice kick with the lip of my boot. Red oozed out of his face. I guess my first hit had been more true than I could have guessed, but it wasn’t enough to take out Smiley. This time he was up quicker, his animal instinct taking over.

I’m not proud of this next bit but you do what you do when you are faced with an impossible situation. He moved fast. All day I had seen Smiley move with calm and a cold precision. His initial attack on me was a good example. He knew I was cornered and I had nowhere to go so why chance a mistake by running at me. Now, he was all blood rage, anger and hate. Smiley’s smile was gone, lips broken apart by a wild yell instead. I kicked him in the balls.

Smiley slackened his grip and I used all my strength to bring the tire iron into him one more time. This time I couldn’t just hear the crack you could see it. He dropped, and I sank down, my right hand throbbing where Smiley had smashed one of the bones.

I didn’t waste too much time. I grabbed the ratchet straps from a bin behind my tool box and made sure there was no way he was getting up again. I didn’t know if he was dead or not but he was a killer with insane strength and speed I wasn’t checking.

I recalled the blood on his shirt before we fought. With my head cleared I quickly figured there was no way it was his own and panic set in. I sprinted out the garage and down the road until I was at Sam’s Diner. The door was closed. The lights off. There was no closed or open sign, no need in a small town. You knew the hours, it was when Cheryl was in. I peeked in through the blinds best I could and noticed something on the floor.

I realizing I was still holding the tire iron, I took one quick swipe and the glass was gone from the door. Inside was a show befitting what I saw on the tv earlier that day. Blood everywhere. Ends whole crew looked eviscerated. I couldn’t find Cheryl though, and we never did.

#vampires #demon #horror #short fiction

[spilling-thoughts-blog1]

a collection of my honest (yet irrelevant) thoughts. | wednesday 8/30/2017 |

current adventure: college. 

I feel stupid sitting on a bench on campus writing a post to (possibly) nobody; but after 3 classes (with another one today) spanning these first three days of college, I feel like I need to write it out. crying can only relieve so much in all honesty. so emo, my apologies. 

classes started Monday, 8/28/30 and from the moment I woke up on Sunday, I've felt so empty and drained despite only taking two hour-and-twenty-minute long classes. Monday was okay. Class let out 30 minutes early, and since it was my only class of the day I walked a few blocks down to Girlfriend’s campus. Her school is insanely nice, just my style. Very industrial, modern, and taken care of. A drastic difference to my school. 

Its dirty and old (not a cute-worn though, it just looks like it hasnt been taken care of) and the kids are crusty bums. Granted, Girlfriend’s school has weirdos, lots of them, but theres a sense of safety because you know they won't try to shank you if you bump them! I don't have that luxury here. Her school is a private art school, mine is just the local community college. gotta save those dollars.

Anyways. On Monday I sat on a bench (at Girlfriend’s school,) similar to this one, but I had the grass next to me instead of the dirt and sticks here and a young guy was cutting the lawn and it was quiet (aside from the lawnmower) and pretty and I felt like I was at home. The guy was nice, he felt bad asking me to move for a second so he could cut the grass next to me. If I was at my school I bet they would have just mowed right over my folders. Girlfriend got out of class after about an hour of me sitting on her campus and I got to see her for a few minutes, really the only other time I’ve seen her aside from the 20 minute car ride to school (which is two days a week keep in mind.) 

We used to hang out everyday. Senior year was the best because I got to see her during practically every period (1st, 2nd, 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th actually... that is a lot lol) and then we would hang out after school. Perk of your girlfriend not driving- you have an excuse to see her more often; she has to run errands, she needs a ride home, she needs a ride to, etc etc. 

The smell of funnel cake keeps distracting me. I don't think theres any funnel cake, it just smells fried and sweet because the cafeteria is behind me and I'm getting hungry for the first time this week.

Not seeing her is one of the shittiest parts of college so far. I really miss her. Her classes are super long, each one at least 2 hours long I believe, and even though our schools are less than a 10 minute walk from each other, I can't see her because when she gets out of class, I'm just going into class. I also hate not seeing any familiar faces. Yeah, you have to make friends blah blah blah, but its a shock going from my nice high school with students I’d gone to school with since middle school; some even elementary school to this. sounds privileged, in know... I don't know why it keeps surprising me as well seeing full on adults walking into classes. Good for them though. 

My next class starts in 40 minutes (at 11:00 and its 10:17) but I’ll probably head up in a few. It’s a 2 hour and 50 minute class and I didn't bring any of the 6 books we have to read because I already had my two English books and I didn't want to lug 8 novels around in my backpack, especially since we haven't needed any of our books on the first day. But then again, its a 3 hour class and I doubt we’ll get out that early. 

Ew it smells like kerosene... not my favorite smell by far. They're setting up lame tables and tents and “Week of Welcome” activities. Will I participate? no. Am I the cause of my misery and tears thus far? Mostly. 

I read up on all of my professors I could find on “rate my professor” and this next one seems super fun. He has like, 4.4/5 review and apparently he's hot. everyone said his class is easy too which is a bonus. The reviews weren't too wrong about my Comp 2 professor, they didn't speak too highly of her. Right now I'm not a fan. She comes to class 5 minutes before it begins and seems very disorganized. I really don't like that. My Psych teacher is an absolute loon, but I feel like thats to be expected from a community college psychology professor. No offense if thats what you want to be, or if your favorite professor (or family member) is one. Just my honest thoughts. 

The sun came out, thats nice. Eases my anxiety a little bit when its nice out. 

Jesus Christ (pardon my language if it offends you) Chris brown just started blaring out of the welcome week speakers. they're trying to make this shitty cheap ass campus a party. no thank you. “now everybody put your hands in the air. yeah yeah yeah.” its lit. sense the sarcasm.

Hopefully this class will be better and when I get home (1:50 can't come soon enough) the feeling of empty darkness inside of me that has lingered for the past 3 days will subside a little bit. I won't get my hopes up. I should start a tear jar, a warning to seniors.

WHEN I SAY I WANT TO SEE FAMILIAR FACES I DONT MEAN THE CRUSTY MEAN FUCKBOYS I WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL WITH. I WANT TO SEE MY FRIENDS; OH WAIT, THEYRE ALL OVER ACHIEVERS AND NICE KIDS AND ARE AWAY AT SCHOOLS LIVING FUN LIVES AND BEING HAPPY, OR AT PRIVATE SCHOOLS RIGHT DOWN THE STREET BUSY DOING AMAZING ART. now its glamorous. good thing Fergie spells G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S because I don't think half of these kids can.

its been a while, its almost 5:30 now. my 3 hour class was boring as hell. he is not hot, nor young and he was 5 minutes late to class. you can hear him suck back his snot every few minutes and choke on it a little. but his class will be easy so thats great. I'm just questioning whether I need it or not. 

I haven't cried yet today, we’ll see how I feel later though. I miss Girlfriend. She’ll be home soon but I’ll bet you she’ll have to eat dinner as soon as she gets home, and then she’ll start her homework. nobody disrupts her art, not even me so I'll get to talk to her before bed for a few before I pass out at 10:00. It sucks because I was supposed to see Her Friday after my morning class ends, because she doesn't have class but then my new manager asked if I could come in. so instead of finally spending a day with her I'll be getting trained. my old manager is starting at the new store which is why I'm coming with him, but he has to get trained first, so really, its like starting a new job completely. I don't know why I decided it would be a good idea to switch jobs the first week of school. granted, there was no way in hell I would have stayed at my old job. I just should have waited until this first God awful week was over. but thats just my luck. 

Im always so tired now. I say always like its been a few weeks of school when really its been 4 days. mom asked if I wanted to go on a walk with the family, and of course I said no. “it’ll be good for your mental health” ahh I see, she can see me slowly slipping downhill again and wants to prevent it. well, I don't think a walk is going to make me feel much better about the fact that my school is dirty and the hallway I was in for my last class smelled horrible, which obviously worsened my mood, and the added fact that I'm starting a new job this week and don't know what I should wear. oh, and the other fact that I don't get to see my girlfriend anymore already and its only been 4 days. 

I had a bad feeling when She had her orientation and made her schedule. I new going to different schools would be horrible, but I didn't realize it would be like this. she's actually having fun and enjoying herself and making a few friends, and then theres me and I'm miserable and still have yet to speak to anyone really and she can't text in class when I'm out of class and I can't text in class when she's out. so thats great. I'm just waiting for the day she says someones flirting with her and she doesn't hate it. perks of dating a poly. I can't say no and deny her, especially when I'm not doing anything for her, or even seeing her, when someone else sees her almost every day. here come the watery eyes. plus, those kids are so much like her, they share her biggest passion. She always says she could never date someone who does what she does because it would be too much competition, but I feel like she's going to meet a photographer or videographer and it’ll be different enough to not impede on her talent, but it'll be similar enough that it’s great conversation and bonding. I'm just a jealous girlfriend, and college for us is looking to be the way I thought it would.

so, a summery for my future self who doesn't want to listen to this pity party:

Wednesday august 30, 2017. college sucks, I cry everyday, I hate my cheap dirty school and lame ass professors, I hardly see Girlfriend already, her experience is going great and I’m stressed af about starting a new job. countdown to the end of the semester-  74 days, 15 weeks, roughly 3.75 months, aka, too long to keep doing this shit. 

#college #thoughts on college #school #sad #thoughts #journal #august #back to school #first year #freshman #college freshman #lonely #I hate school #I hate college #college Is the worst #irrelevant thoughts

[thebravetheboldandthebeautiful]

Six Flags Rollercoaster Guide by Jordana Levine

I recently went to Six Flags with my friend Nora. We loveeee Six Flags. It’s so much fun and I love the adrenaline rush. Fortunately, we had no lines during our trip. So I’ve been saying I should make this for years, so I finally am. Here is my Six Flags guide to rollercoasters. I’ll tell you a little bit about them and my thoughts about who they’re meant for. I will also tell you max waiting time for each ride. You don’t want to waste your whole time at that ride if it’s not worth it, right???!! If you’re interested, just keep on reading!

El Toro This was the first ride I went on during our trip. I was waiting for Nora to arrive and there wasn’t a super long line. So I was able to go on twice before she arrived. The first time I was shook as to how crazy it was! I was terrified and had never been before. This rollercoaster made me finally understand why people feared rollercoasters. There was no mercy on this ride. The drops are insane and best for extreme riders. The second time I went on, I felt so mindfucked. Sorry for the profanity, but it’s true. I was shook! And the third time, I went with Nora and was able to enjoy it. I definitely give this rollercoaster 5/5 stars!

 If you’re not a wooden rollercoaster rider, well then this definitely isn’t for you. It’s the craziest ride at the park, crazier than King da Ka in my opinion. The first drop is 176 feet at a 76 degree angle. It goes 70 mph and lasts 2 minutes and 5 seconds. I think it’s scarier and worth more of your time than King da Ka. If it’s a really busy day, don’t wait more than 30-45 minutes. It’s silly to ever wait that long, but definitely go to King da Ka or El Toro at the beginning or end of your trip when the crowds lessen.

King Da Ka The king of all kings, haha! This ride is awesome!!!! It is the world’s tallest rollercoaster, but in no way is it scary. It’s too fast to be scary. It goes 128 mph and I could barely keep my eyes open to see as the wind was blowing so hard. There is no warning when you’re about to jet off as well, but that only adds to the excitement. It lasts 50.6 seconds so don’t wait more than 30 minutes on line. Even then, it’s worth it, but I never wait that long. This ride gets 5/5 stars as well because I love it so dang much. Never wait past 45 minutes for the ride. It’s lit, but super short that there is no point waiting more. I don’t really even wait 45 minutes, probably 30 is the max I’ve waited. Most of the time it’s been way shorter or just how long it took to walk through the line.

Zumanjaro: Drop of Doom The first time I went on, it wasn’t bad except my anxiety hyped me up to think it was scarier than it is. Honestly, it’s like the frog hopper rides, but more extreme. Nora took a photo of me up there. We went on twice and honestly it was a blast. I love the rush. I’d rate this ride a 4/5 stars. The only thing reason I don’t give it a total 5/5 is because it’s not worth a wait. The ride has one drop, and you shouldn’t wait longer than 5 minutes for it.

 Batman This was not fun, this hurt and was not a smooth ride to say the least. I would not recommend. In the past, I’ve had a blast, but you can definitely feel the g-forces on your legs and feet. Not fun. 1/5 stars. Usually doesn’t have a long line anyways. It has loops, which are aight.

Bizzaro Nothing exciting to me. My friend loved this ride, but I wasn’t crazy about it. It has mist and fire sprayed at you. The line is usually not awful because it’s hidden by no other rides. I would rate it 3/5 stars. Not great, not horrible. Has loops.

Green Lantern Sucks!!!! You stand for the ride and it hurts your legs and feet afterwards. I love rides but this one isn’t very fun. I would not recommend. We went on a lot of rides because there were no lines. 1/5 stars. 

Nitro This ride has always been a fan favorite for a good reason. Good drops, but not too crazy. It’s the perfect beginner ride. Not scary, but not a baby rollercoaster either. They do trick you in the end thinking you’re going to stop, but you don’t. I was slightly disappointed by going on again and it not being as much fun, but I did go on it 7 times in a row the last time I was there. If you want to take a photo on this ride, it’s possible because it goes up super slowly. It’s fast, but not too fast and you do feel the g-forces on at some points. People always go in the afternoon to Nitro because it’s on the other side of the park. One time the wait was 3 hours. NOT WORTH IT. Maximum time I’d wait is 20 minutes. 3.5/5 stars!

Runaway Mine Train (Not Pictured) But wow this ride is fun! It’s a smaller ride, but I was still screaming my head off. The drops are fun and wild and it’s good for younger kids. The front row was awesomeeeee!!!! I convinced Nora to go on and even she admitted it was better than expected. 5/5 stars!!! The guy next to me was cracking up at my screams.

Superman This ride is beyond overrated. Yes, you’re lying down, but I squished my thigh the entire time and it’s not worth a long wait. It’s a minute and a half basically and if the line is long skip it. This is where everyone heads first. We went to Green Lantern and Superman last and there was no wait. The ride is fun, I’ll admit. But I also was stupid, listen to my advice, and I waited an hour and a half one time. NOT WORTH IT. I would rate this ride 3.5/5 stars. Decent, but don’t wait over 20 minutes for it.

The Joker Last, but certainly not least. This was the first time I had gone on. And I loved it!!!! We went on twice. At first, we didn’t know about the single rider line so we waited 20 min. Last season, you had to pay extra to go on. It was so much fun! The drops are great. Nora was like this is so relaxing, like a baby rocking, and then BOOM. We dropped and it was such a fun rollercoaster, but with a twist. If you go on the single rider line, you can get past the whole line basically and get on and off immediately. Just ask them about it on any of the rollercoasters and that helps save time. 5/5 stars!!! I love it!

 I forgot to mention the M&M ride brings you across the entire park. It’s an amazing view and a great way to relax and not have to walk through the entire park again if you want to go to the other side.

 Now that I’m done telling you all about the ride, here are some tips for your trip:

 Do not bring everything you own! You should only need money, ticket, and your phone. Everything else is nonsense. I’ve gone with a girl who brought brass knuckles, why? Just why?! You don’t want to have to pay for a backpack, dress appropriately for the weather, and shove your phone in your pants if they spot it! They will make you pay for a locker, and that’s some silly business.

 Don’t go immediately to the rides that you see when you first go in. i.e Superman and Green Lantern, which is why they have such long lines. Go to the rides most wroth it that most people will also be flocking to. El Toro and King Da Ka are ones you always want to start with. They will get lengthier in line time and it’s best to go at night or in the morning.

 Sundays are better than Saturdays. Sunday is God’s day, so peeps aren’t going to the park. Cloudy days are also great because they scare people off. They will fear the rain. You can still go on when it rains. I’ve gone on El Toro in the hail. Also Sky Screamer in the freezing cold. My hands were going to fall off.

 Always ask about single rider lines or what the wait time is before going in. If you see a crowd in front of you as you’re walking to a ride, run past them. Save yourself from waiting behind 20 extra people.

 Remember where you parked, because if you forget, it’s going to be a long night.

 For ticket prices, check online for deals. Six Flags often works with Coke products and you get major discounts if you bring a coke can with you. Or if you’re a student sometimes they have deals. We encountered a summer deal for 40% off so the tickets were way cheaper than usual. If you know someone with a season pass, use them for parking! Save money on that. If you want to save money on lunch, buy food and leave it in the cooler in your car and eat in your car. You can get stamped to come back in.

 If you win a prize at the carnival games, they can hold on to it for you until you leave.

 Lastly, you should never wait more than 20 minutes per ride unless it’s 30 min for King da Ka or El Toro. Otherwise, get out and come back at a less busy time! Best of luck and hopefully you will have the most successful Six Flags trip yet!