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#I feel like this is so cheesy and self indulgent....but good Im glad it is ò uó
shrineheart · 1 year
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this is gonna be incredibly cheesy but i finally got back to reading senbazuru. its been like over a year but i thought hey its koros birthday lets do it. i stopped reading because stuff just got so busy and i wasnt into ass class as much anymore. but when i first read it man best thing ive ever read genuinely. changed so much of my ways of thinking and made me feel more positive overall and be able to face hard things. like i legitimately find myself thinking and WORRYING about the ending. like oh god how emotionally devastated am I going to be when this is over. anyways I finally read more of it last night, and i cried bro. on like the miraikan chapter and afterwards stuff. cried. jesus forgot how emotional and wonderful and sweet and serious this is. its helped me throught sad times and through hard gender times and AHHHHHHH. when its all done im gonna print it out for myself and have a forever copy (but still go back and check on it online) senbazuru means sososososo much to me, thank you so much for your hard work and heart you put into it.
I had a scare with my mom recently and my cat's health is declining. As a result, I've been in a pretty bad place mentally the past week.
So seeing this message in my ask box?
Congrats. You made me cry too. <3 (in a good way, I assure you)
I'm glad you love it. I'm glad you kept reading. And I hope the ending won't disappoint. (even if it takes me like, five years to get there jesus christ)
Thank you for reading this self indulgent mess that I've poured so much love and thought into.
Like... with everything going on sometimes life feels really hard and meaningless. It's been really rough lately for me. But seeing things like this, knowing other people have read this thing and love it makes me happy. It makes me feel like I've done something. Even if it's a small something.
I'm still working on Senbazuru. It's usually in bits and pieces. A paragraph here or there before bed. But it's something I'm determined to finish because I want people to get the ending I have written.
I'm hoping, one day, I can get more chapters into my original work to so I can show what I can do outside of the fanfiction genre. The world I have set up for To Take What is Freely Given is fun and has a lot of opportunities for story in it.
Thank you for reading and loving it enough to come back and continue reading. Thank you for this message. It's made my night a little better.
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twistedmusings · 3 years
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Arabesque and Plie
A/N: I don't know why, as I crying trying to write my paper, I thought of my old ballet classes. There is such an intimacy in dancing a pas de deux with someone, especially with lifts, and such a tenderness when you see them communicate with just their faces...so I immediately put a twst spin on it. Warnings: Malleus and Leona trying to one up each other but failing because they are too focused on moving with you as one.
Malleus Draconia and Leona Kingscholar meet outside the gates of Ramshackle, only one of them being called out to meet you...how would they react when you ask them for some help?
----
“What the hell are you doing here?”
Malleus blinks as he looks at the dorm leader of Savannaclaw, the other glaring at him as they both met near the entrance of Ramshackle. Leona huffed and looked down at the package in Malleus’s hand.
“You brought a gift?”
“...I would think it is rather impolite to arrive at a dear friend’s house without a gift.”
Leona clicks his tongue as he pushes the gate open, forcing his way inside and refusing to look back at the dorm leader following him.
You really had gone and invited the lizard and not him? Where the hell did you get off? Here he was being decent enough to hand you the homework you had missed, after Vil forced him to do it, and you had gone and invited this cold blooded iguana to your place?
“Were you invited as well, Kingscholar?”
Wouldn’t he like to know.
“Mind your damn business, lizard, I’m just here on business.”
Malleus nods as he knocks on the door, both dorm leaders looking around as they heard music coming from...somewhere. Leona’s ears twitched as the door opened, the music getting somewhat louder as Grimm opened the door with an exhausted look and shaky paws.
“UGH! FINALLY.”
He floats over to Malleus as he points back at the entrance of Ramshackle.
“Please do something about them! My paws are hurting so much and I don’t think I can keep it up for much more!”
Blue eyes turn to Leona, Grimm tilting his head and looking at Leona up and down.
“...did you get los--”
“Just show me where the herbivore is.”
Leona spits out and makes his way into Ramshackle first, not looking back at the two as he looks around. He had never been in Ramshackle dorm but from what Jack told him it was simple and compact. His eyes had already spotted three great napping spots, which he would make use of the moment he handed you these damn papers, before he stepped into the foyer.
“Letting your pet open up the door for you now? Is the title of dorm leader getting to y--”
His teeth click as Leona shuts his mouth while his ears perked up at the growing intensity of the music in the room. Although, maybe that wasn’t the only reason they were up.
Eyes immediately went to your legs. .
The leg that was standing straight like an arrow seemed to not waver as the other extended itself out, one of your arms reaching outwards while you moved the other arm back so that your hand would press against your extended leg, the position imitating a sort of hunting bow as you held the position for as long as you could--
Leona jumped when you let out a breath, immediately dropping your position and spitting out a small ‘dammit’ into the air.
His surprise lasted only a moment as the mood was amazingly ruined by the two people he forgot were there, Malleus walking up behind him as Grimm took the snack filled box into the kitchen.
“Child of man.”
You turn around.
“Oh! Malleus! There you are! I need--”
Your eyes fall on the Savannaclaw dorm leader, tilting your head as he waits for his greeting.
“...do you need something from me, Leona-senpai?”
You little--
“Hah? Am I not allowed in your dorm? Only lizard boy over here can come over?”
“What? No! I’m just...surprised. You never really leave Savannaclaw that often, at least that is what Jack says.”
Leona tosses the papers on a nearby coffee table and lays himself out on your couch.
“He doesn’t know me as well as he thinks he does...tell him next time to mind his business.”
You roll your eyes before holding out your hand for Malleus to take, the other quickly taking it and following you to the middle of the room.
“Grim mentioned you performing some sort of physical task that left him exhausted.” He looks down at the way your hands fit together before smiling.
“Are you in need of magical assistance?”
“As much as I would like to take a raincheck on that, the only thing I need right is you, Tsunotarou.”
You jump as you hear Leona drop one of his shoes on the floor loudly, taking the other one off slowly and refusing to look your way.
“...me?”
The Diasmonia dorm leader squeezes your hand lightly as he feels an unlikely warmth in his chest at your words. He briefly wondered if he should speak about the sleepless night he had, his mind far too giddy about you inviting him over that he held himself back on the sun waiting to rise in favor of sleeping as much as he could so he could enjoy his day with you.
“Yes! I just need you to…”
You hum and put a finger to your chin, tapping it twice as you figured out the best way to explain what you wanted from him.
“You know, I think it would just be quicker to show you.”
You rush over to the phone Crowley had given you, tapping the screen as music started to play from the small speakers. Malleus remains rooted to his spot as you get on your tiptoes, the shoes you got from Sam yesterday greatly aiding you in keeping comfortable as you move your arms up and down while concentrating on the routine you had memorized over and over.
Lime green eyes widen as you extend yourself back, dropping down to touch the floor as your other leg goes up with your movements before reaching back as if being held by someone. He watches you hold the position for a few seconds before both of your feet drop gently as you move closer to him.
Your eyes open to reveal a sad look, both feet now on pointed toes as you reach out to him only to pull back gently and lean forward only a slight bit before moving back and going into a simple arabesque.
The music grew in intensity as two sets of eyes are on you now, watching you spin twice before you raised your arms along with the crescendo and your leg going up to try to match their height--
You hiss in pain as you drop the position immediately, Leona sitting up quickly as Malleus is at your side in an instant.
“Child of man--”
“Are you trying to stretch yourself out, herbivore?”
You sigh and stop the music, shaking one of your legs out to get rid of the cramps.
“Before coming here I used to do ballet in my free time. I thought that maybe they would have a ballet club on campus but Vargas said he has never heard of ballet before--so here I am trying to kill my boredom by dancing to one of my old routines and putting a new story to it.”
Both dorm leaders want to say something but find themselves rather lost.
Malleus recognizes this type of dance despite it being called a different name in the Valley of Thorns and Leona has only been around traditional Afterglow dances so what you just did impressed him more than he’d care to admit.
You pout.
“And I thought that I could maybe do a pas de deux by myself but--I’m not strong enough.”
Leona nods.
“So you needed someone to help you...is that it?”
“Exactly!” you grin and turn to look at Malleus,“You don’t mind right? It’s not like you have to do anything too complicated just...spin me when I tell you to and when the time comes for me to do that pose--”
You try to imitate it as best as possible.
“Just hold my leg up! All you need to do.”
Malleus had pretty much already made up his mind, nodding to your every word as you instruct him on where he should hold and for how long--
Only for him to frown as Leona grabs your wrist and pulls you away from him.
“If you needed someone to just hold you still, you could have used that raccoon over there.”
“THEY DID!”
Grim comes out of the kitchen with a plate full of snacks as he makes his way upstairs.
“My paws are shaking from trying to keep their entire leg up...I never asked for this type of exercise!”
You sigh.
“It wasn’t that bad, Grim!”
“YOU WEREN’T THE ONE ALMOST GETTING SQUASHED WHEN YOUR LEG CAME
DOWN!”
Grim goes upstairs.
“AND DON'T EXPECT TO GET ANY SNACKS.”
Leona tries to speak up but stops when Malleus puts a hand on your shoulder.
“You were only here to deliver some homework, correct?”
He tugs you back lightly.
“You should be getting back to your dorm, Kingscholar.”
The lion prince growls only to grab your wrist and pull you back.
“You don’t tell me what to do, Malleus. If I wanted to live here I would do so instantly.”
“Uh...no?”
They both turn to you, Malleus looking down with a kind smile as Leona glares at what you were going to say next.
“Shall we get started, child of man?”
“I can help you just as well as he can!”
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“Sit down for now, Leona-senpai?”
Malleus can’t help the smile on his face as you lead him back to the center of the room. You had called for him after all, Kingscholar was just here because...well he didn’t know.
You start up the music again and begin the routine, Malleus smiling all the while you seem to glide effortlessly through movements that seemed far too complicated for him to put together. One moment you were crossing your legs and the other you were stretching out your leg while balancing yourself in one foot.
He readies his arm as you move on tip toes towards him, giving him a gentle smile before turning your back to him and going into an arabesque.
“Grab my waist Mal and...gently spin me around.”
The dorm leader does as he is told, meeting your eyes and chuckling when you make a face at him.
“You said there was a story to this, child of man?”
You start moving backward, one leg stretching out and remaining steady as his hand now moved to your lower back so he could support some of your weight.
“The original story is somewhat cliched...so I was thinking of making it a story about an adventurer who meets a lonely king. They don’t know they are a king because he purposefully keeps it from them--I’m going to learn forward, okay?”
His hands are on your waist as you glide down, touching the floor with your foot as your other foot goes straight up, coming back up elegantly as you explain the plot further.
“The adventurer and the king spend a lot of time together...yet the king feels like if he reveals his secret now the adventurer would run. So he keeps it hidden until an unfortunate incident--”
You hold out your hand for him as you stand on your tiptoes, Malleus taking it and giving it a gentle squeeze before watching you raise one of your legs up so that it is at the same height as his stomach.
“Yet when it is revealed he finds that the adventurer doesn’t care who he is. All they care about is the person who they care for the most...and that is the king.”
Were you trying to tease him? This story sounded far too familiar. If he were to pick a character to relate to it would certainly be the monarch. While Malleus certainly wasn’t scared to show you who he was, he just wanted the mystery to last a bit longer so you would stay at his side. If you had known he was the Malleus Draconia, would you act as light hearted as you are now? Or would you pull away and cower in fear?
The very thought made him anxious as you turned your back towards him again, your hands raising up as you got ready to go into your big arabesque position. You give Malleus a quick cue as you stretch yourself out, your leg rising up as far as it could--only to lay gently against Malleus’s hand as you let out a sigh of relief.
“...do you think the adventurer would stay with the King?”
“Huh?”
Malleus can see he caught you by surprise as he lets your leg go down slowly, setting you back into first position before you once again stand on your tiptoes and put your hand up so Malleus could spin you around twice. At this point, he was entirely focused on where your hands were going and how you were moving, picking up on each cue as he dared to look into your eyes.
“I know this is your story but if the adventurer were to leave...the King would be rather heartbroken. I am certain that he would prefer if the adventurer were to stay.”
He knows he would prefer it if you stayed. And if he ever dared to be so bold, he would prefer that you stayed by his side.
The music fades out after the last note, Malleus still holding your hand as you try to catch your breath.
Had he said too much? Did he perhaps make you uncomfortable? The story was from your imagination and he was just reading far too into it--
His eyes widen as your other hand rests on top of his, looking at you with surprise as you giggle and pull them close to your heart.
“If the King would have them...I’m sure the adventurer could find a new home with him.”
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“If you want to help then...fine.”
Leona smirks as he watches you apologize to Malleus, the other visibly disappointed which already made him feel pretty great. He hadn’t even meant to stay here for too long and yet you had picked him for this little dance of yours. Suck it, lizard.
He turns to look at you, watching your eyes staring at him intently as he leads you to the center of the room.
“What is it?”
“...do you think you can lift me up?”
Oh you were being really funny, weren’t you? Of course he could lift you up. Out of all of the Magishift members and out of all the people in Savannaclaw, he was the strongest one. At this point you were just asking stupid questions.
“Try me.”
You nod as you pick a different song, starting it up as you start out in first position with your back turned to him. He watched as you bend your leg and bring it up to your thigh, slowly unbending it and lifting it up as it goes past your head. Eyebrows raised, he goes to support it but you stop him with a sound.
What? Wasn’t that what he was here for? He watches you glide into every move with great precision, turning towards him with one foot as the other is raised halfway. In his opinion, it made you look like a living doll.
He wasn’t sure why he liked that so much.
You walk back towards him slowly, your hands at your side with your palms facing outwards before you do a single turn and speak up.
“Grab me by the waist and just hold me. I’ll tell you when to spin.”
With great effort, you lift up your leg once again and stretch out while giving him the command to gently spin you. Leona nods as his hold on you changes, turning you around slowly and watching you bend down sideways.
His hold changes from one hand to one, wrapping his arm around your waist as his other hand starts to outstretch to support him better. You come back up and smile as he gives you a shit eating grin.
“Did you expect that?”
“I almost don’t want to give you the satisfaction of an answer.”
Leona takes great care to make sure that his hold on you is as light as it can be. If he was holding onto you for dear life, he was sure that your bones would immediately break. And with the way this dance was going, it seemed that you needed him to be as gentle as possible.
Already a tall order for him.
“So what’s the story of this dance?”
He takes a hold of your waist as you stretch yourself out, both hands going outwards as he brings you back in slowly.
“The original is a bit cliche but...maybe I should make it about an adventurer trying to find a lost prince--I’m going to need you to lift me up over your head.”
You glide to the right before jumping up, Leona giving you the extra boost you needed as you put one leg up and your arms stretching themselves out as they briefly rubbed against his ears.
“Maybe the adventurer hears a story of a missing prince who was never seen again after a quarrel with his country, yet the country needed the prince’s plans in order to succeed in battle. So they asked an adventurer to please seek him out.”
A prince, huh?
He gently guides you down but his hands never leave your waist as you instruct him to keep his hold a bit tight as you stretch yourself out towards the other dorm leader sitting on the couch but being greedily pulled back to Leona.
“Unbeknownst to them, the adventurer had already met the prince. They had stopped the prince’s rather tedious plans to take over some foreign land. The adventurer understood why they would want him back...but they didn’t know if he would accept.”
You tell him that you are going to move forward and that when you do he should immediately lift you up. It is surprising that he follows your every move so effortlessly, but maybe he was just that in tune with what you were doing. It’s the first time he has held someone so closely without trying to cause them physical harm. Besides, it was amazing to see you remain composed and relaxed as he lifted you up into the air only to watch you hold your pose.
“So? Did the adventurer get to the prince?”
He turns your waist clockwise fast, making you spin around in four circles before stopping you as you lean forward and raise your leg up, the movements getting a bit faster as his hands went from looking at the back of your head to your waist.
“They did...but the prince told them that he just wanted to stay where he was now. How it wouldn’t be worth it to go back home after all the shameful things he has done.”
Leona can almost feel your determination as you pull away from him. Why would you pick a prince out of all people? And one of an outcast nonetheless. Were you still trying to call him out for his past mistakes? Was that all he was to you? The dorm leader who had tried to cheat his way to victory?”
You smile and hold out your hand, Leona raising his slowly and taking your as you raise your leg up.
“But the adventurer wouldn’t leave it there. They know what the prince is capable of...all they need to do is make sure that he sees it as well.”
A quick glide downwards as he picks you right up, setting you down on two feet before you resume your position on your tiptoes.
“The adventurer tells the prince that there are plenty of things that only he can do that nobody else can. Even if the crown wasn’t his, he would still hold great power over the decisions of his kingdom. One didn’t need to wear a crown to have great power.”
You turn your back towards him and start getting ready to go into your great arabesque position--!
Only to stop when Leona stands in front of you and goes down on one knee, staring at you in the eyes while you raise your leg up and instead of fully stretching yourself back...you merely lean down and rest your hands on his shoulders.
He may be lazy but he knows symbolism when he sees one. If you were to be the adventurer and he was the prince, he imagined himself staring up at you as you spoke words of comfort to him and him alone. The bastard in the story must be pretty lucky to have someone like the adventurer believe in them…
The music fades out slowly as you go back into first position, Leona scratching the back of his head with a bored look while you pick up your phone and stop the music altogether.
“First Vil and now you, everyone is making me work today.”
Leona can’t look at you in the face, not after he pulled that cliche sort of move. One moment of weakness and he was putting himself in the shoes and feeling jealous of a character that didn't even exist! When did he get so pathetic?
He mumbles a quick goodbye and heads out, deciding that he needed to nap for the rest of the day after that embarrassing moment--
“Leona-senpai!”
The dorm leader stops in his tracks, turning around with an annoyed look only for it to melt away as you trot over to him and smile.
“Mind if I call you in case I need your help again?”
Damn you. Damn you, damn you, damn you you made him so weak--
He leans close and grins before flicking your forehead.
“If you reward me properly then...maybe.”
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kiss4kazu · 4 years
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Hi! could I request some headcanons for what kissing Ashe and Dimitri (Felix too if thats not too much if not its fine) would be like for the first time?
☆ first time kisses with ashe, dimitri, felix 
↳ ashe babie boy 
although ashe is really innocent and pure i think he’s easily one of the most romantic in blue lions and would really go above and beyond always for the person he loves. 
i know a lot of people probably see ashe as someone being too reluctant and nervous to actually ever make a move first but i think if he really liked someone, he’d be extremely obvious about it, blushing like crazy, a stuttering mess, etc and after enough pep talks from sylvain he’d finally make a move to ask u out on a date and it would be an absolute wreck.
would literally put together something so fckin cheesy n corny but in the most adorably ashe way that it makes you want to punch him from being so precious
like a cute picnic or something by a lake and he’d make cute little cakes with some help from annette and it would just be so pure. 
he’d rehearse how he’s going to confess in his head like a million times but when the moment actually comes it ends up just being a jumbled up mess filled with “ums” and he’d try to stick to the script him and sylvain came up with and get out a “y-you’re r-really… u-uh… p-pretty..” but then he’d fuck it all up by saying something weird n dorky like “a-and you s-smell really nice… w-wait that’s weird i’m sorry-” and you’d just hold back ur laughter, ur heart swelling with so so much affection for him. 
ofc he’d ask for permission to kiss you, cheeks crimson and his eyes looking up at yours like tht one starry eyed emoji. you’d give him a vocal response, since he rly needs that reassurance. no stutters just “of course ashe” and he’d smile so so big and then just swoop down totally uncoordinated. 
would probs miss your lips and have to readjust. 
kissing ashe for the first time would be … messy. he’s not experienced at all, and doesn’t know what to do with his hands and he’d honestly be a dead fish for a good few moments. but as you ease him more into the kiss, he’d loosen up a bit, tilt his head and just stop overthinking. his lips would be really warm and would taste so sweet from the cake and he’d smile so hard into the kiss that your teeth end up bumping into each other and you’d pull away laughing
ashe kisses are the best honestly the butterflies fireworks the whole shebang yknow. 
as he gets more confident he’d probably try out a few things he’s seen in books like slipping his tongue in and would be completely taken aback by just how nice it feels. would probably whine into the kiss, cradle your face in his hands, and once you guys pull apart for some air he’d just breathe heavily against your lips with the dopiest smile on his face :( <3 
he’d be rly slap happy after kissing you for the first time and would probably tackle u onto the picnic blanket laughing from happiness kissing your face everywhere and showering you in compliments, shoving his face into ur neck and just breathing in ur scent. 
he’s very clingy ok. 
↳ dimi !!
whew. ok so we’re gonna do academy phase dimi since feral dimi is uh… probs not sfw & violent skjdfjslkjfd  
academy phase dimi knows NOTHING about kissing n he has 0 experience so it takes him forever n a day to finally get the balls to kiss u and when he does … whew. 
i can imagine kissing dimi to be during like , a deep convo or something late at night, when he’s having trouble sleeping or something and ur just running ur fingers through his hair, listening to him as he vents and admiring the sound of his voice bc he’s always more talkative at the dead of night when he’s sleep deprived. 
he’d just look at u so so lovingly and it would be suffocating and ur just staring at his lips but u know ur probs way in over ur head bc uh he’s the future king of faerghus 
but then he’d ask for permission too like ashe tbh bc he’s just polite like tht and has too good mannerisms 
plus he cares a lot about your comfort and would never want to make u feel unsafe or uncomfy especially by his doing
and you would nod with quickness n he’d waste not a second to connect ur lips 
kissing dimi is like a trance tbh, type of kiss that feels like something in u is short-circuiting 
literally the type of kiss that makes ur knees buckle u know the ones. 
he’s a rly rly good kisser n it makes no sense bc he’s literally never kissed anyone before in his life n it kind of makes u mad bc why is he perfect 
a rly rly passionate kisser and he can be kind of rougher than he intends to bc he’s not good with fragile things 
clearly v dominant in the kiss, one hand with an iron grip on ur hip the other tangled up behind ur neck, gripping ur hair. after a while gets reluctant and starts to overthink things and pulls away apologizing for being too rough
you’d probs have to reassure him a million times tht its okay dimi ur not hurting me!! 
he’s rly touch starved tbh so he always tends to take pecks into full-blown makeout sessions or when he intends to just kiss ur forehead he ends up kissing ur cheeks too, ur jaw, down ur neck just riling himself up tbh and then he finally  looks up at u with his eyes all dark n ur just like … here we go
did i mention he groans a lot during kisses bc he does 
dimi’s other sides shining through when his emotions overwhelm him is just .. dimitri 101. 
he’s rough, seemingly an expert at this shit, his tongue shoving past your lips and completely taking u off guard. he’d literally kiss you so hard your head would spin and he’d do it all with a blush on his face bc he’s still a shy babie.  as soon as the moment is over he’s back to stuttering n being all awkward boyish prince. 
he’s also the type to shower u in compliments between kisses.
kisses lips “you’re so gorgeous” smooches neck “so amazing” kisses jaw “goddess i love you” 
im scream crying
↳ felix too bc WHY NOT ! i love him 
listen. 
this little fucker kisses the life out of people u heard it here first folks. 
he’s 100% a heat of the moment type of kisser. it could go two ways tbh. like if you got hurt or something on his behalf he’d scream at you with glossy eyes for a good 5 minutes and then just stare at you all >:( and then he’d just grab you and  kiss the fuck out of you.
probably the most passionate kisser out of the three, he kisses to the point where u can’t feel ur toes and stuff he’d just completely indulge without any fucks given bc he almost lost you and he’s not good with explaining his emotions so hopefully this helps you understand. 
the other way i can see a first kiss going down with felix is more.. vulnerable, despite his hard exterior. he is rough and mean but it’s not bc he’s genuinely a bad person he just has walls built up so high tht its impossible for anyone to rly climb over 
to get a kiss from lix, u definitely have to have climbed over tht wall of his, or just fly a wrecking ball through it n send it crumbling to the ground
you’re literally the only exception, the only person who can rly get through to him 
he’d probably turn to you for comfort a lot, when dimitri agitates him with memories of glenn or his dad says something that ticks him off and he wants to punch something he’d just go to you instead, knock on ur door and just waltz in like he owns the place, sitting down on ur bed and u would know he wants cuddles bc this is how felix communicates 
if he had to actually say “i want cuddles” out loud he’d probably shoot himself in the foot with an arrow so he’s glad u understand, u always understand him just by looking at him n it’s reassuring bc he’s never been good with words.
its kind of cringe to him that he likes being held but shocker he likes being held 
he also rly rly likes it when u play with his hair he’s like a cat he will literally start nuzzling into you, so warm and pliant to your touch
ok im getting distracted back to the kissing shit
felix would probably just be rly overwhelmed with emotions n he doesn’t rly know how to tell u “i like u” so he just says “im going to kiss you.” like a literal statement n then he does it n ur just like o-o bc wtf. 
if ur not responsive at first he’d just pull away after a while and wouldn’t meet eyes with u and be all blushy. 
would let out a tch like the little shit that he is, and u have to turn his face so he’s properly looking at u again and meeting eyes with u 
he looks so vulnerable and stupidly gorgeous so u kiss him this time so he knows the feeling is mutual and it’d take him a min to really gather whats happening but once he does he’d literally. suck. the. life. out. of. your. face. period. 
felix kisses r rough n messy n just completely self-indulgent and he groans shamelessly when u pull his hair tie out from his bun and tug at his hair yes i have a thing for felix’s hair leave me alone.
gives 0 fucks would literally shove his tongue down your throat pull you flush against him and he always calls sylvain insatiable but rly its this fucker who’s insatiable he is literally eating your face. 
you’d have to pull him away from you and he’d just pant so hard against your lips and look at you like he wants to devour you and its kind of overwhelming bc he’s fucking hot !!!!! 
would shove his face into ur neck and mumble out an “i like you”  and u would tease him n be like “what did you say i cant hear u?” and he’d elbow u in the ribs  and groan into ur neck and u would laugh n kiss his head, telling him u like him too
at tht he’d lift his head up, his hair falling over his amber eyes and u would just push the strands away from his face and kiss him softly one last time before going back 2 ur conversation about punching sylvain’s face or sumn
anyway i love felix thanks 4 coming to my ted talk. 
requests are open! <3
- vivi ★
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rant-2-me · 3 years
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My mental state has just worsened over the days, though I'm not sure why, and I just feel so unmotivated and lacking any energy to practice any self care other than napping, and also feel anxious because I'm not studying enough.. feel like I'm just 1/4th assing my responsibilities.. And when someone asks me how I'm doing, sometimes I blurt out that I'm not fine, and the guilt I feel afterwards for making them worry, so I find myself withdrawing from initiating conversation with them, even though I really want to, and this makes them worry about me more.. I just don't know anything anymore, everything feels too much, yet I can't rant in a clear conscience without feeling guilty for bothering them, and thinking how I don't deserve to complain because they have had so much worse (yes I know pain is relative, but I feel so horrible, like a whiny child, who doesn't know how to be content with her blessings)......
Sorry I know it's a lot.. feel free to delete it if it's triggering or making you uncomfortable in any way... I just needed to get it out..
My lovely nonnie, im so, so glad you sent this ask. and got it all out of your system. yeah this sounds cheesy but like ive been there, with not knowing how to reach out—im proud you had the courage to send this ask. girlboss vibes.
also this ask took a while to answer and im so so sorry about that, but I didnt want to do anything less than the best for you, so let's just jump right in <[:)
Lacking motivation, god I've been there, but doing self care is super super important so here is a how-to, hon.
How to do selfcare when you’re not motivated to:
1. Be a little “gross.”
Gross is in quotes because it’s so subjective, but you undoubtedly have a few behaviors you consider kind of gross regardless. Now’s the time to do them without judgment. For me, that’s meant showering less, eating weird food combos (sometimes in bed), and letting my brows and mustache grow magnificently unruly. For you, it could mean doing something you normally judge yourself for or cutting back on activities you only do for the benefit of others. Now is not the time to allow “socially acceptable” behaviors to rule you.
2. Eat whatever the hell you want.
This should be a rule always, but I’m not going to pretend there aren’t societal, social, and personal pressures that go into why we eat what we eat. Try to shut down the voice that judges or polices what you’re eating right now. We’re in the middle of a goddamn pandemic. If dinner has to be some slices of cheese and deli meat eaten in front of the open fridge, so be it. If you have a lot of cravings and are snacking more than you normally would, cool. If pre-pandemic you decided you were going to stick to a certain meal plan and it’s just not happening anymore? Don’t beat yourself up.
Yes, what we eat is connected to our mental health, and I don’t want to discount that—but if the stress of eating healthfully is making you feel like crap anyway, whether that’s because you can’t fathom cooking or don’t have the means to shop for certain foods during isolation, just eat the sleeve of Oreos and try again another day. It’s okay.
3. And wear whatever you want.
Or, more realistically, wear whatever you can. Even if it means wearing the same ratty sweatpants for a whole week. Or month. Maybe you started all this out aspiring to get dressed every day to work from home productively, or maybe you have a whole collection of comfortable loungewear you feel guilty for not utilizing. Whatever arbitrary rules and expectations you’ve set for yourself, you can throw them out.
On the other hand, maybe you need to quiet the voice that tells you there’s no point in getting dressed or feeling presentable. If it helps, by all means, play with your look, wear awesome or weird outfits, do your hair and makeup or whatever activity might feel a little silly given your current reality. In the middle of a pandemic, nothing is a waste of time if it makes you feel good.
4. Use shortcuts to avoid creating chores.
In my first week or so of working entirely from home, I was baffled by just how messy my apartment got. How on earth were so many messes piling up when I wasn’t even doing anything but working, sleeping, and eating? I hadn’t realized it, but a lot of my small tidying routines had become casualties to the pandemic. And, it turns out, slacking on the little ways I pick up after myself every day (such as doing the dishes right after I use them) added up quickly.
Instead of forcing myself to stick to the same levels of tidiness that I used to maintain, I’ve found shortcuts. For example, I use paper plates and plastic cutlery when I feel too fatigued to wash dishes so they don’t sit in the sink for days on end. Or I stick to the same two “outfits” to avoid clothes piling up when I’m too depressed to put them away every day. If you can find a small way to go easy on yourself, even if it feels a little wasteful or indulgent or gross, it’s okay to tap into those shortcuts right now.
5. Be kind to yourself if your place is messy or dirty.
I won’t lie: I’m someone whose space impacts my mental health a lot. Typically, keeping my apartment clean helps keep my mental health in check and letting my apartment get gross makes me feel worse. That’s still true in a lot of ways, but to adapt I’ve been trying to be mindful and accepting of where I’m at. And it’s…helped?
It turns out that taking the pressure off does a lot to mitigate the guilt and some of the other negative mental health effects I usually experience. In practice, it involves a lot of talking to myself. Instead of seeing my apartment turning into a depression cave and immediately thinking, “Oh, God, I need to clean up, this is so disgusting, I’m a monster for living like this, of course I feel depressed,” I go for kindness. I think (or even say out loud because, well, desperate times), “Of course my apartment is a mess right now. I’ll get to it when I get to it. I can handle the mess for now.”
6. Accept your new sleep schedule.
idk anyone whose sleep hasn’t been screwed in some way by all of this. Anxiety, depression, fatigue, pent-up energy from sheltering in place, tech use, new work responsibilities, screwy schedules…pretty much every aspect of our new reality can impact our sleep. Some people are sleeping a lot more, some are sleeping a lot less, and some are cycling through both extremes. Oh, and the temptation of naps! It’s all there.
Trying to maintain a healthy sleep schedule during all of this is a worthy endeavor—and more power to you if you’ve figured out how—but there’s a good chance that it feels impossible.
By “accepting” your new sleep schedule, I don’t mean pretending it doesn’t suck; I mean doing what you can to be gentle on yourself about it. For me, acceptance has looked like watching some comfort tv and reading my favourite books at 2 a.m. instead of staying in bed and anxiety-spiraling about how I can’t sleep. Is it ideal? No way. But I’m not going to waste energy stressing about something I currently can’t control.
7. Give yourself plenty of room to do absolutely nothing.
I’ve given myself permission to do a whole lot of nothing. That includes getting rid of the pressure to be productive and practice self-care, yes, but in a broader sense, it also means not forcing myself to actively “adjust” every day.
Some days, I just need to do nothing but feel my feelings. Or avoid feeling my feelings. Or stare at the ceiling. Give yourself space to do (or not do) whatever you need to.
also, nonnie? my love?
Never feel guilty about telling someone who cares about you when you don’t feel okay.
People who genuinely care about you—and I’m sure they are many—will care if you aren’t feeling good, there are always going to be people who care about you, who want you to be okay, that’s why they ask, why people make rant, why “how are you?” is such a common question.
But if you do need to talk, but you feel like you’ll “burden” people who you do talk to, here’s a guide to ranting.
Guide to ranting:
1. Pick the right person. Someone who’s in the right headspace to listen to you, you could also pick someone who cares about you—if you’re anxiety tells you nobody cares about you, pick someone who “should” care about you in your relationship, e.g: a friend you’ve had for a long time, a friend who’s told a few of their problems, or friend you might not feel close with, but seems very kindhearted and a good listener.
2. Pick the right time to talk to them, so you can have their undivided attention. If they are busy—as most people will be with something—they’ll have a hard time giving you good advice and listening to you. Ask them when they are free, and then ask them:
3. “hey, can we talk? I’m not mad or you or anything, it’s just that I have been not feeling great, and I just want to rant to someone about it.” and “No pressure to say yes, you might have your own stuff to do deal with.” to make sure they are the right person to talk to.
4. It’s ok to test the waters. Start slowly, you don’t have to share everything at once if you don’t want to.
5. You never know how your friend will react to what you say.While you can’t know how they’ll react, just remember that sometimes people’s initial reactions may come from a place of shock, surprise or not knowing what to say. Their initial reaction isn’t always their longerterm reaction, it may just take them a little time to process.
6. Look for ways to take action. Don’t get me wrong, ranting can be amazing for you, but on its own may not solve your problem.
But maybe venting to people isn’t for you. No matter! There are other ways to get out emotions:
Ways to rant without talking to anyone
1. Cry it out— simple and rewarding. When the baggage is just too heavy to carry cry it out. It can help you ease the pressure and ease your mind to think straight after days of holding that frustration in.
2. Work out — easy and fun. tire yourself out and release all the frustration in working out! This is going to be so satisfying for you as you try and punch, kick, balance, lift, and breathe those frustrations away.
3. Clean & rearrange — practical and can be fun. we get frustrated by so many things and one thing that can truly help clear our minds is to have a clean place where we can stay and live for the moment to breathe. Clean your room, rearrange your things and you’ll be surprised by the satisfaction this brings — a signal of a new beginning.
4. Scribble — simple and fun. Make scribbles, doodles, drawings, take a pen or a pencil, and let go. It does not have to be “good” art or professional at all. Just draw whatever comes to heart, sunflowers or clouds or rainbows—anything.
5. Write it down — fun and simple. Let those words out of your head and just live in the moment.
How to fight the lack of motivation.
1. Don't fight the lack of motivation.
If you feel down or unable to muster tons of energy, let it be ok. Be easy on yourself and acknowledge that it's ok to have a dip, especially at this time of the year.
2. Once you have accepted your slump, get to the bottom of it.
Ask yourself, "What is the root cause of this sluggish feeling?" Go deeper than the obvious reasons. Is it related to work? Your personal life? Relationships? It might also just be the weather. Get clear on what areas of your life you're feeling the most resistance.
3. Dig into that area. What is not ideal about this aspect of your life? What would make it better?
Make a list of how you'd like your current situation to improve--and be specific. If you truly can't find a reason to be less than enthusiastic, then accept your feelings and let them pass with time.
4. Take your list of what is missing and go through it.
What is holding you back from being able to create the things that are missing in your life?
5. Get support for creating the life you want.
Do some research and find an expert to help you. Even though they love you, friends and family aren't objective enough, and they tend to give advice that is a reflection of their own life and insecurities.
6. Think of current habits that are contributing to a less-than-ideal life.
Maybe it's fear, laziness, or not having enough confidence. Pick one to focus on.
7. Address this habit over the next 2 months.
They say it takes 28 days to create a new habit, but this varies from person to person. If you focus on it for two months, you are sure to build the neural pathways needed to call it a new way of being.
8. Buy a book, read articles or do some research on this particular behavior or feeling.
Read about the common causes of this habit as well as the proven ways to bust through and work around it.
9. Create a plan around shifting your current habit.
Make sure that changing this habit ultimately helps you move forward in the area of your life that is not ideal. The energy from clarity, awareness and then action will immediately get you feeling more motivated, no matter what.
10. When all else fails: make a list of activities that excite you, and do one of them right now.
Talk to a fun friend, dance around at home, workout, watch a funny YouTube video, tackle something on your to-do list. Accomplishing something will give you a hit of dopamine in your brain. If you're too overwhelmed by your day, sit for five minutes and meditate. Put on some soothing music and breathe.
okay, that's all nonnie, I hope you feel the lust for life in your lungs, please have all my love, i hope this helped, this ask took a while, but it was worth if it helps
and if you need to dont worry to send another ask, if you like spam the inbox!! queen!!!
take care, much love my sweet honey, bye <3
—*putting daisies in your hair as they leave* mod peppermint <[:)
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cutietobio · 4 years
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scenarios w iwaizumi, lev and yaku with an s/o who usually dresses super conservative and comfort>style but wants to try stepping out of her comfort zone so on one of their dates she shows up more put together and wearing clothes that show a bit more skin? (like off the shoulder tops, shorts, skirts w/o leggings etc) n the boys get a little flustered or excited?? ;);) thank u! im trying to step out kf my comfort zone too so i felt like this would b cute nd make me more motivated not to give up!!
mmm yessss good stuff. this is the fluff I’m after. I hope you enjoy these, anon!! and I really really hope they motivate you because you’re beautiful and deserve to feel comfortable!! i love how these scenarios gradually increase in word amount as I go along I’m so sorry for the inconsistency oops.
IWAIZUMI
For your movie date with Iwaizumi, you were feeling a bit experimental with your choices in clothing. Instead of your usual conservative style, you wore a shorter skirt with your legs fully exposed, choosing not to wear leggings like you usually did. The rest of your outfit went along together nicely, but you felt a little self-conscious whilst overlooking yourself in the mirror. You have never taken such a risky clothing choice before, one gust of wind and your legs wouldn’t be the only thing on display. Luckily, the evening weather was quite calm.
Your heart pounded loudly in your chest as you approached the movie theatre, eyes scanning the many bodies of people in search of your boyfriend. You spotted him leaning against the wall, casually watching the crowd walk by, your mouth dried at the sight of him. His style was one you always loved, a mixture between edgy and casual. He looked good, and you could only hope he thought the same about you.
“Hey, Hajime-kun!” you greet with a friendly smile, opting to stand a few feet away from him due to nerves. Your voice caught his attention immediately and he opened his mouth to ask why you were standing all the way over there until his eyes fell on your outfit and his words died off in his throat, his eyes widening at your exposed skin.
“Babe?” you question, your smile fading ever-so-slightly. You weren’t sure whether his speechlessness was meant to excite or worry you.
“You…You look nice,” Iwaizumi muttered out, coughing into his fist as he turned to look to the side, avoiding eye contact with you. The tips of his ears were tinged red and his cheeks were equally as flushed. Catching this, your smile widened.
“Thank you, but I think you look better.” He scoffed at your words and held an arm out for you, which you hooked your own arm around without a moment to spare.
“Whatever, believe that. Let’s get inside,” you nodded in reply, enjoying his blushing state. Both of you shuffled inside, buying your tickets and snacks before heading into the movie.
After your date, Iwaizumi took you home. Both of you stood outside your house, gazing at each other, neither wanting to leave. 
“You looked great tonight. I think you should…dress like this more often,” Iwaizumi trailed off shyly, annoyed by how fast his heart was beating just by standing so close to you.
“Really? I was actually worried you wouldn’t like it. I’ve never dressed outside my comfort zone like this before but… you make me feel beautiful, so maybe I will,” you offer him a delicate smile, blushing hard at your admittance. 
“I make you feel beautiful?” Iwaizumi questioned in a whisper, and you nodded in reply. He appeared to be taken aback by your words.
“Yes, you do.” There was a bit of lingering silence before Iwaizumi took a step closer to you, his hand grasping your own gently.
“I’ll make sure you always feel that way.”
LEV
Your boyfriend always took you out on fun dates that mainly consisted of you going outside, you thought it would be time to dress more appropriately for the occasion of the summer festival that he wanted to take you to. The afternoon sun would be hot, added with the running around he would likely make you do, you wanted to expose more skin to keep you cool. That and you also wanted to push yourself to dress outside of your comfort zone and experiment with new styles.
You wore a cropped t-shirt, with a denim overalls/denim shorts and a suiting pair of shoes. Having never worn something so exposing before, you were obviously a bit self-conscious and found yourself continuously tugging at the hem of your shirt to cover up your skin. Due to its short cut, the material merely snapped back in place. It was too late to bail and wear something else as you were already a few minutes late for your date, so you swallowed up your doubt and headed out.
Lev was standing at the festival’s colourful entrance, actively searching the heads of people in hopes of spotting you. You did text him saying you were running a bit late, but he had faith you would be there any second now. Once he saw you, you were given no time to prepare and anticipate his reaction to your outfit, as he immediately manoeuvered through the crowd and brought you close to him with a tight hug.
“Found you!” he laughed out joyously with closed eyes, which popped wide open as he felt the silky texture of your skin underneath his hands. Pulling back, he stared down at you in curiosity. You gulped, wishing the earth would swallow you up as he took in your appearance.
“Waah! You look so beautiful!” Lev cried out, bringing you into another hug which you slowly returned whilst processing his words. He…liked it? “You always look beautiful, but these clothes on you look great!” He pulled away again, examining you with gleaming eyes of adoration.
“Thanks, I was nervous that you might not like it…” you admit sheepishly.
“Me?! How could I dislike anything about you?!” he whined out about your assumption, “you worry too much, princess! Let’s go have some fun!” Before you could blink, Lev grabbed his much larger hand in your own, lacing his fingers with yours as he guided you safely through the crowd. Despite his exciting demeanour, he always handled you with such care and love it made your heart swell.
Throughout the day, Lev could barely shut up about how great you looked. He would constantly remind you how good you looked with your outfit and point out things he liked about it. You ended your day with one last ride on the Ferris wheel, and whilst furthest from the top, he turned to look at you.
“I’m glad you’re feeling more comfortable!” his words touched your heart directly, and you hugged him, catching him off guard slightly but he returned the hug a second later.
“I should thank you for that, you’ve made me feel more open to trying new things. Like…getting on a Ferris wheel,” you giggle, breaking from the hug to peer down the edge of the cart. You paled at how high up you were, but Lev tugged you back before you could worry about the height more.
“I’ll always be here to support you, princess!” he said with his usual happy tone, nuzzling his cheek against the top of your head.
YAKU
Your boyfriend had always enjoyed taking you on traditional and romantic dates, this time, he had really outdone himself, wanting to take you to a pretty fancy restaurant where even a dress code was required. You took this opportunity to exit your comfort zone when it came to your style choices and decided to go shopping for a dress. It hugged your figure perfectly, exposing your collarbone and also dipping to your lower back. You had never worn something like it before and scrutinized it intently in the mirror.
Despite the unease you felt wearing it, you forced yourself to ignore those feelings and finished dressing with a pair of heels/flats and minimal accessories since the dress itself was quite eye-catching. You were dropped off at the restaurant and entered in, hoping your nervousness didn’t display across your features.
A figure approached you from your peripheral vision and you turned to find Yaku looking handsome in a crisp black suit. Your heartbeat wildly against your chest, feeling much more nervous than before. He looked so good, you could practically be moved to tears. At that moment, you forgot all about the insecurity you felt wearing your uncharacteristic dress and smiled at him warmly.
“(Name), wow…” he stated breathlessly, taking in the sight of you. He felt his cheeks warming up instantly, convinced that he truly had the most breathtaking girlfriend in the world. Yaku wished he could tell you that, but he feared you might think him to be too cheesy. “You look stunning,” his eyes met yours and he held out an arm for you to take.
“Thank you, I’m glad it’s okay,” you mumble with a blush matching his own, latching onto his forearm as he redirected you to your table that was decorated with white and gold cutlery and trinkets. 
“Okay?” he turned to give you an incredulous look, “It’s more than okay, you really made me lose my breath back there.”
“Stop,” you whine out softly, dipping your head to hide your worsening blush. Yaku merely chuckled, kissing your temple and pulling your chair out for you. You thanked him after having been scooted forward and the evening was spent indulging in delicious food and almost crying of laughter due to your wild conversations. He took your mind off of everything, and you honestly felt good in your dress.
Once the evening came to a close after desert, Yaku offered to drive you home rather than taking an Uber. Obviously, you agreed and enjoyed furthering your conversation in the warm confines of his car as you could admire him openly and tease him about keeping his eyes on the road if he turned to meet your gaze.
Upon reaching home, the two of you sat in comfortable silence, Yaku making no attempts to unlock the doors and you making no attempt to question why. You wanted to stay with him longer, so even if they were unlocked, you wouldn’t have left.
“Thank you for tonight, you really spoil me too much,” you speak softly, for it’s easy to hear each other over the dead silence.
“I don’t think I’m spoiling you, I’m treating you to what you deserve,” he argues warmheartedly, turning to give you a small smirk. It fell quickly, as his face morphed into that of seriousness.
“Oh no,” you express with a small laugh, “I know that look, you’re gonna-”
“You look really beautiful, (Name), I mean it. I can’t express how glad I am that you’re feeling more comfortable with yourself, and even around me. That really means the world to me,” Yaku declares with the utmost sincerity, grabbing both of your hands in your own.
Your eyes narrow affectionately, your mouth opening but closing shortly after as you have nothing to say. Pulling your hands from his, you reach over and tug him into a hug, your arms around his neck and your chin resting on his shoulder.
“Mori-kun, I swear I’m going to marry you one day,” you mumble, sighing out contently as he rubs small circles into the exposed skin of your lower back.
“I’ll hold you to that.”
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albatris · 4 years
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do you have the meanings of the songs on the atdao playlist written out somewhere? NO PRESSURE im just. fascinated by how ppl make playlists and also im in love with atdao
hi! playlist anon again! just realized this playlist is. very very long so. i am not going to ask you to explain it all ghdfhdkfhsfds. what i AM going to do is put all these songs on my work playlist because you have very good music taste thank u so much
AHAHA I’M SO SORRY oh my god, yeah, it’s long. it’s so long. I have a playlist problem. I absolutely do. not even going to try to deny that
and like, we can joke about this, absolutely, for sure, but me writing out in excruciating detail the specific meanings behind each of the 150+ songs on this playlist….. that is 100% in-character for me
like, it’s honestly somewhat surprising to me that I haven’t already done that
ANYWAY MOVING ON
first off, thank you so much for the message!! and the lovely words!! oh gosh
ppl sending me messages about my playlists is an insta-kill straight to my heart like I am on the floor. hello. I’m glad u like the tunes and also my music taste and also atdao. and also I love you. I do! I love you. thank you for this message, it made my entire week
AND HEY if you do have any questions about specific song choices I would be more than happy to answer them!! though a few of my choices are a mystery even to me and others I might have to respond to with “it’s a secret” or “the reason I included this song is super fucking cheesy and I don’t want 2 say” hahahaha
ALSO SINCE YOU MENTIONED you were interested in how people make playlists I can talk a lil (very briefly) about my general song-picking process under the cut although it may not offer any grand insights
so on a surface level songs that end up on the playlist fall into the following categories:
plot songs 
character songs
theme songs (like, songs to do with the themes, not, like… theme songs)
general atmospheric vibey songs
“I literally spent an hour scouring this book and all its contents trying to find a plot-relevant excuse to include this ABBA song and then I said fuck it and threw it in there anyway because it’s a banger” songs 
but within those there are also further subcategories such as and by no means limited to
songs that evoke the same emotional response in me that I want to evoke with this particular story/scene/interaction/description/etc 
This Song Might Be An Interesting Direction To Take The Plot But I Haven’t Decided Yet
not literal canon, but canon as it pertains to Tris’s psychosis, so like, canon But On A Different Layer
there’s a huge fucking hole in my outline and all I know is that this song fits in it perfectly
I imagine this song in the movie soundtrack in my self-indulgent daydreams
literally only three lines of this song are relevant but they’re really really good lines
so like
my WIP playlists used to be a lot more unruly before I opened them up for people to actually listen to, like, there used to be all manner of super irrelevant songs floating around on the atdao playlist that I just tossed in there on various whims
now I’ve cut waaaay back on the “this song is barely relevant at all but I just like including it” songs and the “this song invites interesting and relevant daydreams but doesn’t have anything to do with the actual story” songs and the “this is a weird AU I had one time” songs and I would say like….. about 91% of the stuff on the playlist has actual on-page concrete relevance?
most of the songs have actual on-page concrete relevance! which is a big achievement for me
except for the ABBA songs
but they’re allowed to do whatever they want because they’re ABBA
anyway what I’m saying is there’s all kinds of reasons to choose a song for a playlist! you can throw in whatever you like, if certain songs help you daydream or just give you the right vibes or just Feel Right, then that’s cool! the world is your oyster, you can do whatever!
I’ve just tried to cut down on the doing-whatever since people actually look at this playlist ahahahaha
for me playlists are for exploration and adventure and looking at things from different angles! so I try not to focus on being like “this is my story and I have to find things that fit it exactly” because then ur list becomes a very restrictive box. u gotta… u gotta just get wild with it and look for all the strange and pointy angles. playlists are for growing flowers 
thanks for coming to my ted talk!
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sanchoyo · 4 years
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hi there!! i've talked to you a couple times but just wanted to ask if you have any tips or pointers for making a fic if it's not too much trouble! i'm writing a shigarak/reader fic and it's my first time writing a fic, and i'm just worried it won't be good or interesting or that i won't write him well :( hope you're staying well, i know working rn is so tough so i hope you're taking time for yourself ❤ and if you ever need someone to talk to i can drop you a message if that's ok!
aww hi again then! I’m so glad to hear you’re writing your first fic omg! I’m so honored you’d ask ME for tips bc uh,, I am no expert or anything. I will do my best and tell you my personal Things I Do though!! I hope some of these help you! (also thank you <333 I’ve been trying to talk to my friends/family about how tough its been so I think I’m in a good enough place rn, but you can always chat with me!! :D) 
1. If you’re worried it won’t be ‘good’ or ‘interesting’ remember those things are TOTALLY SUBJECTIVE.  When I started writing, I didn’t even plan to post it!! I started writing bc I needed something to do when I was stressed and I thought it would be fun... it was for me! You should do the same! Write about what you enjoy, scenarios you think you’d like, tropes you like, even if it’s corny (I LOVE tropes and really cheesy drama/romance!!!) if you wanna write super mundane coffee shop aus, or the most out there, wacky au..space pirates ghost hunter babysitter detective drama romcom at at once,, there’ll be an audience for it. I thought literally no one would care abt wh because it was rampant with ocs and minor charas. and then i thought the same abt cl because I’m using More ocs, extremely minor charas/movie characters. Guess What. ppl are still reading! and im still having fun! :D
I’m aware some people don’t like it, but thats with everything you do! There’ll always be people who don’t like things you do so it’s important to just make sure you like it and people who also do like what you’re doing will come and let you know naturally! I promise there’ll be other people who like it! and if you’re worried it might be something thats been done before..may I refer you to the ‘two cakes’ comic... :)
 (also if you’re posting to ao3 there’s a comment moderation option- feel free to turn it on! I have it on so anytime I’ve gotten hate comments I just delete them w/out approving or replying jksfdhask I promise there’s been a good bit of people who had Nasty Things To Say its the internet and people can be rude but the best thing is just ignoring them.) 
2. you said you might not write him well but thats also subjective? tbh everyone interprets characters differently. A lot of ppl say I write him,, very soft or cuter than in canon (which. could very much also be me writing in a Self Indulgent way, thru a softer lens bc thats how I Want To See Things hahaha)  I wish I could give tips, but..hhm just maybe read through canon and decide what parts of him you liked and note his speech patterns (those skills u might have been taught in high school lit analysis will come in handy, the perks of using them now is that you aren’t being graded. nice) also using google docs or pinterest help (I know, ppl hate on it and it does have rampant art theft but. making mood boards with quotes and aesthetics you wanna go for in a fic? VERY fun and useful) 
Good luck!!! like I said you can always hit me up if you need someone to bounce ideas off of (or if you wanna let me know when you post it!! I’d love to read it!!!) hope these helped!!! I’m sure it’ll be great <3
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memequeen92 · 2 years
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your fic is SO SO SO good i’m normally team “haha y/n fanfics are so cringe” but your rabbit man fic has me in a fucking chokehold and istg ive been checking every damn hour if the next chapter is out yet. cant wait to get brutally murdered <3
oh gosh ty,, I’m glad so many people are liking my dumb self-indulgent fic,,
I honestly just can’t bring myself to write stuff while referring to the reader as ‘y/n’ makes me feel like im writing a cheesy choose ur own story book... 
last chapter is still gonna be a lil bit, I think I’m somewhere between 1/2 to 3/4 done with it lmao,, I may or may not be going a little overboard with the bastard levels? whoops. definitely going to super ultra mega hell for what I’m writing.
also it’s... probably going to be a bit longer than previous chapters... I was debating breaking it up into two chapters to save space but there is... no feasible way to do that without absolutely destroying the flow
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